Bay 12 Games Forum

Okay lessee what we got here.
dizzy overseer who hastn' playd DF in like...
*coutns on figners*
6 months?
CHECK

liason corpse in the dining room
wait
... crafting room with nearby kitchen and food stockpile
wait
... barrel mug and ghost stockpile
CHECK

extremely relateable asCII text

CHECK

Penis Formation That Looks Like I Did It But I dOn't Remember

CHECK
there's even an image in my DF pics pofledre filder that is titled "cocklol.jpg" so I think I've had this thought before 

wagon still fucking exists
WCHECK
now who HOW do I destory it
 
got t
F dat wagn

animals pastured
outside
in the snow
CHECK

secured-ish ramp leading into the fort
CHECK
that you pbypass with a down stair
ALSO CHECK
(i love this game)
apparently I've been in a discord foice chat for like 3 hours and didtn' notice lol

extremely injured orf in the
*distadnt memory of sobererrr times*
meetign hall?
nxt to a
*squint*
nxt to a buckit
CHECK

he is distractd
... legit
movgn on

by the way
current drinking amount is 3 bigass clgasses of
*examines label*
some french shit
wait
*turns bottl over*
"chilld fruot wine"
...IT'S PEACH

how much rum goes in a cocomut rum and orange juice again
...sure!
(hand for scale)
THIS JUST IN
i have 2 oragn juices
i dotn' know why
and I bought them sober 
(a peek into the life of soberShork)

wat the

HOW IS BLU THO

how did u do tht


but it aws not a barrls
it was a
*squint
OH BARRCKS
okay

you know this is sa SUSPSICOUS amount of dworfs and blood on the stairs
BUT IS OKAY
I havf brain bleach
*drinks rum *
>>>


bwuh
wut?
minc thws smithers
mine this smithoes
mind those shithoads
OH
mine this shitheads
...
WORK ON YOUR FONT!!!

I found a corpse
he is dead AS FUCK
but his neam is "enemy post"
so... good?

WHOA


Rets in paeces.
W e need some appraoparitate music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_JcM45gaFs
perfect

I checked and the only irmportant people in that peol pile is Kamin.
Acceptabel
(sry kamin)

also

WAOW dasslot of magma
lava
no wait
magma
I'd check the discktionary but FUKKIT
magma

UNPASUE TIME
(finally)
tis early spriggan
spring
someone took a forge
Cool?
WAIT THEAT'S S FAY MOOD
...cool.

he... took a single silver bra
BAR
silver bra sooudns painful
... *internal thoughts intesndifies*
MOVIGN ON

gimme that pick
u bich

THATS'
FUGN CHEATING!
bitch.

wat i gotta
builtd a FUGGIN HOSPTIAL
to get a pickaxe
......... i rly hate how tht soudnss like the way to do it

whati wheres the
FOUDN IT
LET GO YOU BITCH
GIMME IT
"my hand is borken"
FUGN
YOUR OTHER HAND IS BROEKN
GIMME
"i can't my hand is broken"
GIMME
"am tired"
THEN FUGGIN SLEEP AND LET GO
fuck.

I can't aeven tell hitm to not be a miner. "No labours avaiablabublbeble. Avavailable."
THEN FUCKIGN IEVEN WITH THE PICKAXE THO
leggo.
"no"
fffffffffffffffffffffff-

wait
i haf cheats
i FORBID ur pick
AHA!
*keeps it*
FUCKING WAHTEVER MAN
jesus


...ok
this gautnlet weither beetter make one of the fdorfs be DOmfist
or imma be mad
well disappointed

"spoiledr: it desont'*

oh dudeguy wton't drop the pick cuz he "meloncholy"
fine
be mmy pick eventually
*glare*

... I'mma need graves or ill get huanted as shit yo

imma dis usout a new mason shop
to make more graves
...
FUCK!


DOTN ' OYUOU GIMME USR SASS UYUNG MAN
IMM'A FUCKIN EVEN on ur ass

(wow athtat's illegibgle)

*sips rum*

fien imma sic the mielitary on yur ass

... they seem uh
indispiosbed at the moment

...so uh....
wat do i do then...

...I'M SURE IT'LL SOLVE ITSELF OUT
moving along


grats on ur promtotion
you earnd it (?_

oh its the injured one who one went brosserk
and got PULPD HARD BIASH

got dammit he torme the masons ar moff
+rip mason
i hardly knew hye
also i cant' spell ur name.
cuz accents.
or diacrrtics
dialetics?
diaemetrics.
... the thign on top of the e in ur name

OH!
also RIp ur foot.
And uh... upper body.

at elast we can mine now right
wait
nobodys mining
where s the piik

COME THE FUCK ONNNN!!!!

...noboyds taking the pick
even after i unforbided it
...so...
i went from...
needing a hostpicatl to get you to drop the pick...
to
i need a hosptial
to get the pick out

...
FUCK come on

FINE i'll make a shopstila
hosptial
right here in the
the...
dormitory...
with doors on one side.

...BWAHAHA DO U GET IT
its a
*spells very carfully*
DOORMITORY

now howdafuq do i hospital

only mason is "resting" like a pussy

ok so
to be fair
hes' missing like
an arm
and a lieg
and a rib
but he's also a video game character
WIMP!
go make coffins
...for yourself 

"some migrants have arrived"
like...
on purpose?
are they syrian refugees
russian spies
... <opposite poilitical party> supporters?
WHAT!?
Why?
why come here
to the land of death and "fuck is this shit"
...one of you bitches better haf a pickaxe


♪one of these thing is not liek the others♪

EVERY SIGNEL OEN OF THE SE IMMIGRATN FUCKS IS USELSESS!
except the goose
he can stay
gooses are scary man

the new "chief medical dorf"
who i appointed becauz ihe was the most useless fuck ever
just went to sleep in a dormitory bed
THERE WAS A DEAD MAN IN THAT BED 3 FUCKING SECONDS AGO
I KNOW YOU KNOW
YOU OPERATED ON HIM
THAT'S WHY HE'S DEAD
the FUK dude

why is cooffin 'p' whyen u construct it and 'n' when u place it
why
toady why

i like how this ghost is like

"im watching uuuuuu"
"bitch I'm diggin the graves fuk off"
"ooooooooo"


i dotn' like the sounds of that

we totally still have booz you guys
chill out

so anyway i have stuff to haul IRL tomorrow and it's late so I'mmma... drink water...

FUCK ME I'm only 2 months into the turn!?

oh hey two people are mining
anyway
my ability to spell shit is returnig
(almost)
so i'mma just...

http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=13906

*passes out*
hey, looks like DF updated while I wasn't looking.
You go, Toady.

My girlfriend got my into a drinking game in FFXIV. So now I'm playing video games, stocked up on coconut rum and orange juice, and drunk on peach Coolers.
If my stomach holds out better than my head does I might try to do a round of Drunk Fortress.
No promises. But here's hoping.
(FUCK I'm dizzy)

...fI Draskn so msuch Iwarsan out of orange jiuse
but worry not ! *hic* ! I
 have MOAR
and am begginninging Drunk Fortress

Have you ever played Fire Emblem: Awakening and wrestled with the one question that everyone has?
"Who do I marry to whom to get the best second-generation characters" 
Me too! So I wrote a program to answer that exact question. You tell it what classes / skills / stats you want the kids to have, and it'll tell you which pairs of parents will produce children that have all those things.

The first screen is a marriage organizer. Drag and drop the father characters around to marry them off. You can right-click units and it'll tell you their stat growths, stat caps, and available classes. It'll even calculate the stats and classes for children characters, if their parents are married.

If you hit any key on your keyboard (except escape, which closes the program), it'll take you to the spreadsheet part of the program.
From here, you can click the buttons at the bottom to add a "heuristic" you want to search for: What class you want a child to be able to reclass into, what skills you want them to have available (including skills passed on from parents), what (minimum) growth rate you want them to have in a certain stat, or what (minimum) stat cap modifier you want them to have in a certain stat.
You'll have to represent each heuristic with a letter. Just type it in while you're in one of the "Add a Heuristic" screens. Since the class and skill lists are huge, the letter you have picked to represent the heuristic will highlight classes or skills that start with the same letter, so you can use it to search for what you want faster.

So if I wanted to know which marriage pairs would have children with, for example, access to the Barbarian class and the Galeforce skill?
These ones.


If you marry some characters together in the organizer screen, you can choose to cross their rows / columns out on the spreadsheet screen, or remove them entirely to reduce visual clutter.

I'm thinking of making a quick Youtube video illustrating how to use the program, but for now, here's the download links.
OLD LINKS REDACTED
EDIT: Whoops, forgot to include some folders that it needs to run. Here we go.
Windows x64: http://www.mediafire.com/file/6h0rqaq3sgzs0di/Matchmaker_win64.zip
Windows x32: http://www.mediafire.com/file/psy1q6tcc0bxdk8/Matchmaker_win32.zip

Tell me what you think! Or if you find any bugs.

Quote from: Random_Dragon on June 09, 2017, 01:18:09 am

Congrats. Shoruke's fort is just as cursed as mine. :V

No, it's just me.

I think I should stop playing drunk fortress. It just doesn't work.

Or strictly ration my alcohol intake... make some calculations...

If it's sleep that's getting you, play Drunk Fort the classy way: by getting drunk in the early afternoon on a weekend! 

Now watch this save also get no love, and a certain prinny get thrown into the volcano. ;w;

Hey man, if you want a prinny thrown into a volcano, ya gotta get drunk, take a turn of Drunk Fortress, mod Dwarf Fortress to include Prinnies, name one after me, and throw it into the volcano yourself 

Okay so I watched that video twith the garme grumps fighting battle kid
I mean palying batttle ikid
ONE QUATRE BOTTEL OF RUM LATER

okay let's go here we go I'm going
btw tinypic is being STUPID so I'm might be usign imgur, whihch i"m not nsued to, so.... idunno delayz or some shir