God damn holy fucking adamantine. This motherfucking shit looked so fucking good on that sexy ass wiki that I just had to find it. So my fucking miners started digging all the shit-ass way down to the cavern levels and then straight through that cocksucking shit too. Then I find some red ass looking shit that turned out to be magma. But god damn there was that fucking blue looking sexy adamantine there. Woo-fucking-hoo. My shit ass miners started to dig that shit up and then some fucking shit pops up on my screen saying some fuckheaded shit about hell being opened. Great. Really fucking great. Some fucking demons made of steam or some shit came pouring out of that bitch and just plowed through every fart shit trap that I could build. Then they got their shitty little hell hands on my military. That fight lasted about two shit ass minutes and then those cunts got into my titty shit ass panic room full of little Bobby McUrist and all the other shit heads. That fight lasted one shit fuck minute. Shit was wack, yo.
The Tale of the Vampire Book Keeper!
The Fortress of Dedukvutok Deduk Akim was founded with the idea that those who ruled would know true power. The power to control those below them. A class system was needed. One that would allow a few to live in wealth and luxury. So a three tier society was made.
The Surface Dwellers, those who toiled with the soil, handled animals, and crafted wood would be the lower class. They were forced to live outside, in huts and lean tos, working in open air workshops. A small diner was made for them, packed with tables and chairs, on a dirt floor. A few lucky ones would live inside, their beds in the pig pens, as the construction of the outside buildings were never fast enough to house their growing numbers.
The Stone Class, those who worked with ores, metals, stone, and gems, lived a few levels down. They had their smoothed out one room apartments, with a bed and cabinet. They even had tables assigned to them in the dining areas. Sadly there was never enough tables and chairs for them as the peasants never seemed to work fast enough to fulfill the job orders. Their work areas were all inside and they were even allowed to have their spouses live with them. Sometimes they had to go outside to work on a building or wall. And a few enjoying fishing. But most of the time they enjoyed a nice sun free lifestyle.
The Nobles, mostly made up of Administers at first, have three room apartments. Their walls and floors were engraved, their needs met as quickly as could be. Deep down they lived inside the Fortress, away from the crowds and noise of the workshops.
A hospital was soon dug out and a barracks, with a squad of soldiers called the Stone Cutters. A inside well was designed after the first winter. Slowly mines reached down into the earth like spider webs, slowly expending, growing, searching for wealth. A protective wall was started, a jail dug out, and the Sheriff was soon Captain of the Guard. A Mayor was soon elected but everybody knew he was nothing but a puppet of the Nobles.
Life moved along. The Fortress grew rich on tourists mugs and well designed mechanisms. Wood, seeds, booze was imported, with some weapons and metal bars. There was plenty of trees available but the workers never seemed to have enough time to cut them down. Funny enough this seemed to please the Elves. Prey was hunted, fish were reeled in, and fields were harvested. The stockpiles groaned with the food and drinks produced daily.
The Surface Dwellers learned to live in the harsh sunlight, frequent rain fall, and snow storms that hit during the winter. The Stone Class enjoyed their work, their nice bedrooms, and good living standards. The Nobles...well, they did whatever Nobles did with paperwork. Everybody was well fed, the still was able to keep up demand much of the time, and the traders were always welcome. The immigrate waves grew bigger with each year and the population grew.
A few people went insane, driven by strange moods, but that’s normal for Dwarfs. But after the second peasant was found dead, blood drained from the body, people started to suggest that there may be a vampire among the populace. True, the two victims were just Surface Dwellers but the Nobles decided they had to do something about it. It was bad for public relations and if too many of the lower class were killed who would cook, clean, and be told what to do?
Records were examined, backgrounds were checked, people were questioned. Soon it was found that a hunter, using the false name of Athel Isonlitast, was the vampire!
Now that he had been found what would they do with him? The Nobles were on the spot. They were to become a Barony very soon (in fact they had already passed on the name of suggested candidate to the Mountainhomes) and felt any black mark on the Fortress’s reputation would throw a wench into the works. What to do? What to do? Kill him? Recruit him as a soldier and allow him to eat peasants when he needed to?
Than they came up with a brilliant idea! They swiftly recruited the vampire, had him position himself in the book keeper’s apartment, who they fired, and walled him in. The vampire, not the now ex-book keeper. Than they made the vampire the NEW book keeper! A never resting, never eating employee! True, one day, when his cloths all rotted away, he would very likely go insane. But that was nit-picking.
They would also have to shout to communicate with him but it was felt by all to be the best solution. A vampire book keeper! Think of the tourism! The public relations! Dwarfs For the Ethical Treatment of Monsters would give their Fortress Five Stars!
And everybody was happy! Well, not the Surface Dwellers who still worked in muddy fields, lived in huts with up to eight other Dwarfs, and had a small diner in which you had to climb over others just to get to one of the four chairs. But the Stone Class and the Noble Class were happy and, you know, they’re the only ones who truly count! Even the ex-book keeper went back to being a Miner and, therefore, a good standard of living.
So now the vampire works at his desk, his fingers stained with ink and not blood. And on the surface above the peasants grumble about how they can now say, without fear of contradiction, that one of their bosses IS a blood sucker!
The End.
The Tale of the Wench in the Works.
The Fortress of Dedukvutok Deduk Akim was doing pretty well. The Miners had sensed the caverns near some of the deeper tunnels and a air lock system, using a trapdoor and a regular door (to keep away the pets) was being installed. Once in place they would break open the wall and see what they could see.
There had already been an accidental breeching before this but it had been quickly walled up. The Fortress at the time had neither the need or the military might to explore such a dangerous area. Now it felt comfortably secure and was about to have one of it’s members appointed as a first TRUE Noble. A Baroness! What city would not feel pride?
As they waited they worked day and night. Mugs were made, wood was burned, and food was cooked. There was some complaints, as no ore or coal had been found ANYWHERE in the deep levels of the earth and the metal industry was only able to work with imported bars. This meant many Stone Class workers (those of the Middle Class) had few jobs and found themselves just hanging about, gossiping around the booze barrels, complaining about all the free time they had.
On the surface the farmers, woodcutters, and hunters worked day and night, in the rain and in the snow, trying to fulfill all the projects they had been given. It was never ending - seeds to plant, sheep to shear, new animals to butcher, walls to build, roofs to put up, logs to burn, stone to haul, and meals to make.
The day of the appointment finally arrived and Baroness Sazir Nazomonul, formally the manager, now stepped forward to turn the Fortress into a Barony. She was also given a Champion, picked at random by tossing a rock into one of the crowded hallways, to who would help train the soldiers.
She of course demanded a tomb, which was her right, and handed down mandates, which was also her right. Like the Mayor’s mandates sometimes they could be fulfilled and sometimes not but at least they created work for the laborers and that was a good thing.
The Baroness’s tomb was easy to throw together. They had a room already dug out and smoothed. They tossed in a few statues and a coffin. Done.
Funny enough, during all this, ANOTHER vampire was found among the populace. But the Nobles now knew how to handle this! They entombed him and made him the manager. As he had made some friends while living among the living it was decided one of the walls would be fortified - so that friends could chat with him through the arrow slits. Sadly, he was walled up without his pet.
The peasants had mixed feelings about this. They did feel a tad safer. But now they had TWO vampires in the chain of command. Seemed wrong somehow.
Soon the Baroness demanded a glass weapons rack for her dining room. Well, they were able to get the material, much to the happiness of one of the Stone Class who gleefully worked to make a wonderful glass weapons rack. He was only an Engraver but Rith Mafolurist was happy to try his best.
True, they had to import the material as nobody seemed to want to make it locally. Not enough bags somebody reported. But the peasants were always complaining about something. They complained about animal attacks, about vampire attacks, and about houses with no walls. Bloody peasants!
Soon the Glass Weapons Rack was presented to the Baroness, placed in her dining room just as she had asked, replacing the old one.
Which did nothing to please the Baroness. She threw a fit. A tantrum to be honest. A very loud one. In public. At the Fortress’s well. In front of everybody.
It seems her words had been misheard. She had wanted a Crystal Glass Weapons Rack. Not a CLEAR Glass Weapons Rack. She ordered the death of the poor Dwarf.
Luckily the Nobles had never supplied the Hammerer with a hammer. A tad embarrassing but in private most of the Nobles felt that KILLING somebody was just a tad too much. There was a perfectly functional jail. If a tunnel with three ropes could count as a jail.
Still, those in the past who had been jailed had survived. The City Guard were not mean. They gave the prisoners water and none had died from abuse. The City Guard did not train as much as the Stone Cutters and therefore gave relatively light beatings.
In the end the Engraver went unpunished and new job orders were sent out. FIND ROCK CRYSTAL! Find it NOW!
The Miners worked overtime to dig wider and deeper. Looking for rock crystal. They found many stones, some precious, some not, but they found no rock crystals. Nor did they find ore or coal, much to their disgust. The Baroness’s mandate was still in effect and the longer it took to carry it out the louder and more dangerous her tantrums would become.
It was felt that something had to be done with the Baroness. Something soon. Something that could not be traced to anybody. Meetings was held in the dark mines. Notes were secretly passed back and forth between the Mayor and the Militia Commander. Even the two vampires were consulted. Plans and plots were created, examined, and rejected. Whatever happened had to be final. She had to die but no evidence should be left behind. She could not just go “missing“. She may come back as a ghost. She had to die but also be found so as to be placed in her tomb.
Than there was her husband. What to do with him? Would he start a riot? Almost everybody was related. What could be done to keep the damage down to a minimum?
One of the vampires, being old and wise, made a suggestion which he whispered through the wall that keep him away from the pulsing necks of the living Dwarfs.
“If you kill her, that's it. No chance of being the capital. Ever.”
The Nobles grumbled and whined but realized that, yes, the vampire was right. Off the Baroness and that would kill any chance of them every attracting the other Nobles and, one day, the King.
"Do we WANT the King here?" asked the Mayor after draining his marble mug of wine. "I thought the whole point was to be in charge. Not to be ordered about."
The Captain of the Guard coughed and added, "She is throwing things at people."
The voice of the vampire once again drifted over the meeting from the stone wall as if somehow leaking through the invisible cracks. the other vampire seemed to be more of a listener but the Nobles could almost feel his presence, as if he was behind the other vampire, supporting him silently.
"You can be a second rate independent city state. Or the Capital of one of the most powerful Kingdoms of Dwarfkind. With access to the ears of the King."
The Nobles, in the end, agreed to wait. It was decided to recruit the Baroness's husband as a Militia Captain, to keep an eye on him, and to try their best to make the Baroness and future Nobles happy. It would require purchasing items nobody needed or wanted, to keep the stockpiles well supplied but if it meant REAL, long reaching, total power...
And so the Baroness, who many of the peasants called the 'Third Blood Sucker', was kept in her position. The new military squad, the Surface Grunts, trained in a room in which the Baroness's husband would notice, as he trained his soldiers, the Clear Glass Weapons Rack. He knew it was a message. But who was it directed at?
The outside walls grew, slowly encircling the outdoor slums. They also grew upwards, as fortifications were made. There was talk of a drawbridge and towers for archers. Of course, more houses, diners, and workshops would need to be built. And more living spaces for the inside populace. Babies were being born at an amazing rate.
One of the upper levels was even being cleared out when it was noticed that cave moss and plants were growing in its soil. The exposure to the caverns, twice, had released spores into the chambers and hallways. It would make safe pastures for the growing herd of sheep.
The air lock, forgotten by all but the Nobles, was kept available. For future use. Just in case.
The End.
So, my king just arrived. Pretty nice that his title was 'king vampire'; makes it easier to figure out those damn 'whodunits'
(http://i.imgur.com/SDZT5Q7.png)
So lets check his kill list...
(http://i.imgur.com/OVOwxTc.png)
:o
http://youtu.be/Lct6x-XqWrw