Bay 12 Games Forum
Dwarf Fortress => DF General Discussion => Topic started by: darksaiyan on August 01, 2008, 12:10:56 pm
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Only one per post.
Number one!
"There is lots of water coming my way..."
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Blood-stained pig tail clothing senses... Tingling...
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That groundhog looks harmless... AGH MY EYE!... AGH MY OTHER EYE...Guh-
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"I got a strange urge to stand next to this floodgate and pull this Lever."
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*Gurgle*
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(just have to squeeze one more in)
"I bet i can make it over the river before it unfreezes!"
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"I bet I can make it over the river before it freezes!"
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"Hey, if I stick a turtle shell to a 2x4, spike it with bizmuth bronze, stud it with rough sapphires and wrap the whole thing in giant cave spider silk cloth... that would make a pretty badass-looking shoe!"
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"Doo-dee-doo, hey, there is some Giant Cave Spider silk!"
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"I demand that you construct for me TWO SOCKS of FINEST ADAMANTINE"
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I think I'll just fall asleep here...oh a cage trap...I'm sure some other helpful dwarf will let me out in time!
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"What's that? Goblin attack? at the gates? killed a milker? Breaking into the barracks? Ugh, not now, i'm on my break."
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"Don't worry the dragon is tame. It only killed those dwarves before it was tamed."
"Here fishy fishy fishy"
"Don't worry it's just one bowgoblin, easy for us"
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"Hey, nice to see you again. You locked yourself in there for the past three months muttering about forests and mines... You feeling okay? Ah, heading up to cut some trees I see..."
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"Come on, it's just a skeleton! I mean, how tough can it be?!"
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"It's a bird, it's a plane," "No, it's a giant eagle!"
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"One kobold? No problem!"
How come they always go for the throat? Every time!
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"Sorry, cookie, your masterwork meal was eaten by rats."
"My plump helmet spawn masterpiece?! RATS?! YEAARGH! ALL SHALL DIE!"
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I don't care how warm that stone is! If I tell you to dig, you DIG!!!
(also works for "damp")
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"There must be something to support this cieling after I tear this column down."
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"Now, who was my nemesis again? Hmm..."
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"Who put this lever in my throne room?"
"Hey look everyone! I caught a carp!"
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"hey, why don't i just throw my sparring partner off the edge of the sparring platform..."
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"Ooh, a unicorn. Should I pet it?"
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"Hey, lying down in front fo that pack of wolves is a great way to train my shield skill!"
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"Hey there Aban, you're looking awful fit with that new copper spear! Lets see how you can handle the infamous Fort Guard Suplex. *GASP* Whew, man. Still only *Wheeze* Dabbling Speardwarf, huh? I better lay down and Rest a spell"
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"Well, here I am on top of this goblin temple, where's the de--"
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" GAAAAH, can't sleep, going unconscious, GOING MAD! "
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Admired a finely arranged floodgate recently.
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"Just because it's hollow/wet/warm doesn't mean it's BAD, right...? Ri - "
"I SEE A FISH. DESTROY THE ENEMY!"
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Skeletal camel? Pfeh, nothing a sturdy crossbow and a handful of bolts can't handle!
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"We've got to hold this pass from the demons, Oh wait hold on a sec, Lunch time"
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"I am a hunter. I hunt beasts. Some strange force compels me to hunt using my bare hands. Look, a wolf!"
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Oh, look, honey. The elf civilization we were at war at is offering us peace. Look, it's a signed invitation to the talks. It sounds really earnest, why, they even want to have us there for dinner.
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A crossbow is a coward's weapon! I am a REAL dwarf, and I shall kill those wolves with my bare hands!
Hey, I think I breached an underground pit! Guys, take a look at this!
...
Guys?
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"Hey that mule looks a little underfed, like skin and bones. Wait, just bo-"
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"Goblins you say? I'll be right there. These two racoon bone bolts should be more than enough."
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"Is something burning?"
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"Hey, why are all the doors locked?"
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"Ooh, somebody left their =Pig tail sock= on that bridge! Finders keepers!"
meanwhile
"Hmm, I wonder what this lever does? Only one way to find out..."
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"All these carp should give me a nice pedicure..."
They're actually using carp for pedicures in real life. Haha.
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"I must have silk cloth"
Or
"I must have rough Gems"
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"You want me to bring this bronze colossus cage to the depot?"
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"I must have shells!!"
"I mandate three rose gold statues be made in my honor"
"A siege! Quick, we must pull up the drawbr-"
"HEY EVERYBODY, PARTY AT THE +Dog Cage(Zinc)+!!"
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"Chasm patrol duty sure is awesome. Ahah, have at thee Batman. Prepare for Legendary Wrestler dodging, Hiya! Aaa.. aaaa ... aa ..."
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Time to go gather some fresh giant cave spider webs!!!
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"An Ambush! Curse them!"
"Hey, I heard, so sorry you lost your cat(s) man."
"Dear God!"
"This is a pretty particular chamber"
"A tentacle does NOT fit there!"
"What do you mean I failed a mandate to make Adamantium socks? I'm a brewer! I'm not even in the production chain."
"Hail! I am your new Baron. My likes include Adamantine, Kimberlite, Sewer Brew, Large Gems, and Cows for their haunting moos"
"It's only one fire imp... how much trouble could it be..."
"Hail! I am your new Hammerer!"
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"Don't ask me how. I just know. There are socks on the battlefield, and I gotta get them before some other dwarf does!"
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"I think it would be a good idea if I deconstruct the top of the up/down stair, whilst you start on the bottom"
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"Silver?! Bah! Silver weapons are for wimps. Yes, the mayor have forbidden us using anything but silver weapons, but he didn't explicitly say it about those*obsidian short swords*, did he? Let's spar with them, it will be more badass this way."
Several minutes later.
"Shit, there's a nightwing to dispatch. Where are those obsidian swords? Ah, never mind. The silver ones will be good enough."
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"aww look at the cute cougar. aww it wont hurt me. u no i'm injured im going to lie down and rest right here. aww come here kitty. rawr? wat do u mean by ra.. gulp.."
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"Ohhh look at those nice burning cloths. Maybe I should bring them inside to the store."
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(The Melancholy dwarf.)
"If jump into this 2 feet deep pond i might end my missery, else I will just keep on swiming untill I die of hunger!"
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Guys, you ever wonder what's at the bottom of a well? Come on, let's find out! *splash* Guys! Check this out! This is....guys? Guys?
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"I bet I can make it over the river before it freezes!"
Argh!
I lost a fortress because over 40 dwarves decided to travel across iced river to get a hunter's corpse....
And I abbandoned the fortress because the survivors started tantrums and revolts...
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This last square needs to be channeled out in this pit, I guess I'll stand right on top of it to do it... hey look a chasm!
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"Drinking at designated, indoor, free flowing pools is for losers! I'm going to sate my thirst in the stagnate, carp-filled pond full of dwarf corpses!"
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My third toe, left foot is aching. I'll go to bed and wait for someone to bring me a bucket of water.
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(Adventure Mode)
Excitement! Adventure! I am thrilled to join you.
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*pulls lever*
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"OK, that constructed wall is done. Hey! Where did the tunnel back to the rest of the fort go?"
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"This skeleton bear can't be real!"
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"I'm a Champion! You can't tell me what to do! And I don't need any stupid war-dogs anyway!"
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"If i run up on this one tile ledge with no other route off escape the crazy miner probably leave me alone even if he killed the rest of the fortress."
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"Pull the lever!!!"
*Pulls*
"Wrong lever!!!"
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"Why do we even have that lever???"
If you know what cheesy movie thats from, Kudos to you.
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"what? carp can't walk!"
"yea but those are zombie carp"
"oh, ok. for a moment there I was worried."
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Urist the Miner to his friend: "Have you heard that The Second Age of Legends has begone just jet!!!"
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"I have no job, I'm just gonna stand next to the wagon."
"Hey, Urist Mc Miner, What's up?"
"What, why do I have to move? No way! I don't care if you dig a channel in the ground!"
*You have discovered a magma pipe*
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH"
*Urist Mc useless farmer has burned in the heat*
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"Just....one...more............ale!"
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AAAHHH...
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SPLAT
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All of these are true stories. Also, I can't see any logic whatsoever behind the one-per-post thing.
"Hey, if I can take out a zombie carp with my bare hands, I can probably take out 14 zombie carp with my bare hands!"
"Alright, I'll build this floor next to the lava bridge, but those Giant Cave Spider Silk thongs had better be done by the time I get back."
"What's that? There's a wild elephant loose in one of the old mine shafts? Fear not, for I shall corner it and shoot it dead!"
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"You seem to be in a rather fell mood today."
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"I say,carving a Upwards-rump under an Oaken tree occours perfeclty safe to me.."
*A part of the caverns just collapsed!
*xXx Mc Mincer cancelīs Carve Upstairs/ramp:Uncouncious
*xXx McMiner has been crushed by a falling Object
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"I feel so honored that this new settlement gave me their pick so I can get started. All I have to do is continue this exploratory tunnel straight on until I discover something interesting!"
Kol McImmigrant has died in the heat
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"Let's play handball!"
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"Create three items out of crystal glass for me before the month is out."
Sadly, my most recent Baron and his Consort both happened to like crystal glass... was a pity, the rest of their demands probably wouldn't have been hard to meet.
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"Bring it on, Stozu!"
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"Goblins are sieging us? I'm not permitted to go outside? Well that asks for one and only one measure. Lets do the entrance dance! Do'd dee... do'b di do'b dee... oh yea"
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This one just happened...
*claims a workshop*
"Inspiration! I shall make a legendary bonecraft. Now I just need bones. Those kobold bones on the other side of the map under the herd of skeletal elephants should work..."
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*Urist Mcpossesed, Peasant Has gone berserk!*
"...You there Clerk! I'm mad!"
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"Oh come on, how tough can a CLERK be?"
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"Don't worry, the Fortress Guard'll protect us."
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"I'll just grab this sock that's directly inbetween a rushing river and a huge 15 z-level pit. Oh! What's this! The bottom z-level seems to be rushing towards me!"
It happened to 12 of my dwarves and 9 of my pets.
The best thing was watching the Dwarf Bits and Cat Bits spreading out with the water.
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"Well, I'm supposed to break down this warm wall. I think if I run really fast I can make it out of the tunnel before the lava reaches me!"
"Those turtle shells won't do! I need cave lobster shells!"
God I hate it when that happens...
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"This will work...in theory"
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Wow. Year and a bit. Hm.
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"This 'ere stone seems ta be pretty warm, but Ah'm sure it's safe ta keep diggin' right on through it."
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(http://lh6.ggpht.com/_P8YAWtpSSf8/S1PBcLCW5VI/AAAAAAAAAo8/oFXRW3UlOzw/SQ-Style%20Dwarf%20Death.png)
This topic reminds me of Space Quest. Oh, the many ways you can die in that game.
This thread begs for more like these. I need ideas.
DISCLAIMER:
All posts related to this is based on the Space Quest Series. One hell of a game.
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That is awesome.
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"Weapons? Weapons!? We don't need no stinkin' weapons! I can wrestle this titan wit' ma bare hands!"
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"Say, did anybody ever think to plant those seeds?"
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"Weapons? Weapons!? We don't need no stinkin' weapons! I can wrestle this titan wit' ma bare hands!"
Ironblood, FTW.
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Whew! That fireball made me thirsty! I need some booze.
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"Say, did we ever bother brewing booze? Just wondering 'cause all water is salty..."
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"Mama, who's ugly green guy?"
(Urist McMilitaryBaby cancels Rest: Interrupted by Goblin Mace Lord. x 167
Urist McMilitaryMother cancels Seek Infant: Interrupted by Goblin Mace Lord.
Urist McMilitaryBaby has been struck down.
Urist McMilitaryMother cancels Drink: Interrupted by Goblin Mace Lord.)
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I am assigned to stand by your side on patrol, and by golly I'll do it! I will obey my orders to the letter of the law and get as close as I can, no matter what side of the wall it is!
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"Ok, time to test the recently finished and untested ornamental waterfall."
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"I always wanted to learn swimming. And this pool of 4/7 water should be safe to train..."
The winter is upon you.
"Oh lord! It's a groundhog! I must run to save my life! Hopefully those green gobbos will just let me pass..."
"I wonder why that grass is all red and flickering? It's hard to see because of all the smoke, but seems it's coming closer..."
"We are completely safe behind this curtain wall, so we have no need for military. Batmen and giant eagles? Don't pull my leg, wall will keep them away."
"Who said crossbow is not a melee weapon? I'll prove the opposite!"
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"Nobody here at the mountainhomes appreciated my soapmaking skills. Do they know how hard I've trained to learn to make this stuff? Nobody even uses it, and when was the last time the king even mandated soap to be made? Well, that's it. I'm taking my twelve cats and emigrating to a nice fortress where we'll be appreciated. Let's see ... I hear Blockedlance is looking for migrants.."
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"... I hear Blockedlance is looking for migrants..."
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Doo dee doo, pullin' mah lever, doo dee doowhaWHAAAAAUUUGHAURBLEGLubrglecracklesizzlesmouldersssszzzzz....
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"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MONTRESOR!"
"Spiders..."
"Greetings. I am the thirteenth Hammerer of the Mountainhomes. I love the obsidian statues of the previous twelve Hammerers who mysteriously disappeared within this fortress. How did you achieve such detail...?"
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"This side of the wall is almost finished... I'll go over and put together the other side, OK?" x37
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"What's so scary about a river? Fish are harmless!"
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"After ten years of painstaking work, we've created an array of weapon traps that no orc siege could ever cross. Why, we don't even need a military anymore! Oh look, here come the orcs! Let's all point and laugh as they get slaughtered by our traps!"
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"Hey look my cat just gave birth"
"Should we butcher the kittens"
"Nah their harmless how bad can they be?"
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"HOLY CARP THAT ONE'S BIG!! Perhaps I should name this <insert animal here> before I club him with my crossbow"
"WHY IS THERE NO LEATHER!?!? THERE ARE 8 WAR DOGS SITTING IN A CIRCLE AROUND ME AND YET THERE IS NO LEATHER I NEED LEATHER FOR MY CREATION, MY CROWNING GLORY AND YET THERE IS NO LEATHER. LEATHER LEATHER LEATHER LEATHER LEATHER LEATHER LEATHER LEATHER LEATHER LEATHER LEATHER LEATHER ... ARRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
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"Hi, I heard of this place, and how you are having trouble with cave spiders laying their webs everywhere! Well worry not, I'm a Weaver, who has anger issues and absolutely detests cave spiders!"
Never before, or after that guy, have I seen a dwarf so very unhappy with his work. It was sort of hilarious.
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"Hi everyone, I make glass!"
"As do I"
Why do I get glass makers on maps without sand?
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Lets just use a moat filled with water to keep the orcs out. What? Water freezes in winter?
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"Those stories were right! This chamber is peculiar."
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A vile force of darkness has arrived!
Urist Udilgeshud cancels pull lever: Attending party
Urist Udilgeshud cancels attend party: interrupted by orc wrestler x78
Urist Udilgeshud has been struck down!
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"Being on fire sure makes you thirsty, which way's the booze stockpile?"
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Tunnel worm (wild) has adopted Urist Mclegendarysoldier (x23)
It is fall.
The Caravan has arrived!
Tunnel worm (wild) has been struck down!(x23)
Urist Mclegendarysoldier has gone beserk!
The moral of the story: The vermin hunter tag is a very very bad thing to have on a wild animal.
Lets just use a moat filled with water to keep the orcs out. What? Water freezes in winter?
This is the situation in my most current fort.
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"My Lord you have been requested at the retractable bridge over the bottomless cavern immedatly,"
"thankyou pesant, i will attend at once."
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"ooo... cute hippo in my dining room decorated with waterfall"
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"OH MY GOD A CARP I'M GONNA RUN AWAY"
Urist McDwarf has become a recruit
Urist McDwarf has been struck down
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"Hey, Fikod, wanna spar? I've always wanted to learn how to use a sword from a champ!"
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Human Merchant: "AUUUGH, my wagon is on fire!!! Damnable Dragon!!! Well, no sense in wasting a perfectly good trip, might as well head on into the depot..."
Urist McPeon: "Hmm, the depot seems to be on fire and all the merchants burned to a crisp... but I was instructed to bring this bin to the depot.... welp, an order's an order!"
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"What are you doing? Pulling that lever? Ha! We haven't used that thing in years."
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"C'mere, little groundhog... ye'll make a nice supper... ack! Ye pushed me into the river! Help! I cannae swim! Helplblblblblph."
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"... and that's another reason for using plump helmets as impromptu -"
[ERROR: CODE TWISTING TO CONTEMPLATE MORALITY]
"What was that? Oh no... oh nooooo... we're in an unstable release, Urist! We're all gonna die!"
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"Well we done it, every animal is tamed, every elf is killed, every invader instantaneously killed by our 20+ champions and every dwarf lives in luxury in a huge fully engraved cast obsidian fort. There is nothing left to do. Yes the safe boring life is indeed the best way to go. Whats that? The leaver of no return and been slated to be pulled? well ok."
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You've got a typo there on the last line that is serious enough to merit an edit, Criptfeind. Er, Cryptfiend.
The grammar nazi has struck again!
"IT'S THE VORPAL BUNNY WILD RABBIT! FLEE HAPHAZARDLY FOR YOUR LIVES! IF IT CORNERS YOU, JUST JUMP FOR IT!"
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Urist:
"I am so tired, so damn tired, I swear, if something pisses me off now, I am gonna go berserk."
It has started to rain.
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STUFF
EI RAGE
I don't care about the i.
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"IT'S THE VORPAL BUNNY WILD RABBIT! FLEE HAPHAZARDLY FOR YOUR LIVES! IF IT CORNERS YOU, JUST JUMP FOR IT!"
Dude, don't mess with rabbits. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg)[/obligatory Monty Python reference]
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Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Just messing with you, but really I was hoping everyone would get the Monty Python reference on their own without having it shoved in their faces.
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"Oh man, a !!pig tail sock!!, I always wanted to try on one of those"
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"I wonder what kind of fish could i catch in that magma pipe"