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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2128140 times)

Silent_Thunder

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7245 on: December 18, 2012, 06:00:36 am »

Oh hey the elven caravan has arrived. Militia! To Arms!

Diplomat who must've gotten stuck in a table somewhere. "Greetings from the mountainhomes!"

Oh shit.

Knick

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7246 on: December 18, 2012, 09:21:56 am »

I had a chance to test my drowning chamber.  i was besieged, so I pulled in all my dwarves, and waited.  The first bunch of goblins entered the chamber, I sealed it, opened the hatches, and the water did its work.  Then, I emptied the chamber, opened the bridge, and did it again. 

That's when I discovered the cistern was really no full enough.  No problem--wait for the water source to replenish, and drown the trolls and goblins.  That's when I realized that, as a building destroyer, a troll can demolish a hatch.  Which they did.  Now, I have no drowning chamber, no military, my line of cage traps are full, and I am still besieged.
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Give a man a fire, and you keep him warm for a day.  Light a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.
The great Dwarfen Philosopher Urist McConfused said it best:  "Light a kitten on fire and it will run screaming into the booze stockpile and catch the whole fort up.  I know, we tested it in twelve different forts and it always happened."

Aviator CJ

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7247 on: December 18, 2012, 09:35:20 am »

I had a chance to test my drowning chamber.  i was besieged, so I pulled in all my dwarves, and waited.  The first bunch of goblins entered the chamber, I sealed it, opened the hatches, and the water did its work.  Then, I emptied the chamber, opened the bridge, and did it again. 

That's when I discovered the cistern was really no full enough.  No problem--wait for the water source to replenish, and drown the trolls and goblins.  That's when I realized that, as a building destroyer, a troll can demolish a hatch.  Which they did.  Now, I have no drowning chamber, no military, my line of cage traps are full, and I am still besieged.

Just as well, really - in my experience, trolls don't drown. I had 4 stuck in a pond under my entrance drawbridge for about 10 years before I let them out. Must have been horrible down there; no light and nothing but the decaying bodies of 2-3 dozen drowned goblins for company.
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Tenth Speed Writer

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7248 on: December 19, 2012, 08:46:51 pm »

I had a chance to test my drowning chamber.  i was besieged, so I pulled in all my dwarves, and waited.  The first bunch of goblins entered the chamber, I sealed it, opened the hatches, and the water did its work.  Then, I emptied the chamber, opened the bridge, and did it again. 

That's when I discovered the cistern was really no full enough.  No problem--wait for the water source to replenish, and drown the trolls and goblins.  That's when I realized that, as a building destroyer, a troll can demolish a hatch.  Which they did.  Now, I have no drowning chamber, no military, my line of cage traps are full, and I am still besieged.

Just as well, really - in my experience, trolls don't drown. I had 4 stuck in a pond under my entrance drawbridge for about 10 years before I let them out. Must have been horrible down there; no light and nothing but the decaying bodies of 2-3 dozen drowned goblins for company.

Kill 3, toss in a masterwork gold ring for good measure.
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dermal_plating

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7249 on: December 20, 2012, 01:15:56 am »

Doesn't meet the criteria, but I need to vent and don't want to make a new thread.

Weaponsmith claims forge, I wait with excitement as he grabs some steel, the anticipation is killing me as I dream of a steel sword of ultimate badassery scything through the wretched goblin hordes...

Rovon Livatoslan has created Thumbufun Ifit Med, a steel crutch!

GODDAMN SON OF A FILTHY WH#RE CU#T S#IT P#SS...
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Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7250 on: December 20, 2012, 08:12:01 am »

Did the dwarf have higher metalworking skill than weaponsmithing skill? Crutches aren't weapons.
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Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

Snateraar

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7251 on: December 20, 2012, 09:49:41 am »

Note to self: Don't put stonecrafters on repeat.

Oh well, might want to load my catapult with 4,865 rock mugs. (value is 120 each)
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dermal_plating

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7252 on: December 20, 2012, 10:04:06 am »

Did the dwarf have higher metalworking skill than weaponsmithing skill? Crutches aren't weapons.

Huh? Of course they aren't weapons, hence my rage upon seeing the artifact. Definitely a higher weaponsmithing score.
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Kaitlyn

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7253 on: December 20, 2012, 11:45:11 am »


Weaponsmith claims forge, I wait with excitement as he grabs some steel, the anticipation is killing me as I dream of a steel sword of ultimate badassery scything through the wretched goblin hordes...

Rovon Livatoslan has created Thumbufun Ifit Med, a steel crutch!


I had a similar facepalm when a bowyer went into a strange mood. Keep in mind that I've modded the raws so dwarves can use bows and arrows. So of the three things he could have made: a crossbow, a bow, or a blowgun, I could have used two. Guess which one he made? A palm blowgun by the name of Immast Stukos; The Influence of Razors. It has a picture of my civilization's (The Portal of Doors, which I find amusing) general on it. Not only that but after becoming a legendary Bowyer from that, I told him to make some bone bows under the presumption they would be made of something decently intimidating. Nope. Donkey bone. That guy is one big disappointment.
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Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7254 on: December 20, 2012, 02:55:54 pm »

Huh? Of course they aren't weapons, hence my rage upon seeing the artifact. Definitely a higher weaponsmithing score.
I'm saying it shouldn't be possible, since crutches are in the tools file and not the weapons file. If your weaponsmith went into a mood and became a Legendary Weaponsmith after making a tool, then that's a bug.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

XXSockXX

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7255 on: December 20, 2012, 04:34:45 pm »

Huh? Of course they aren't weapons, hence my rage upon seeing the artifact. Definitely a higher weaponsmithing score.
I'm saying it shouldn't be possible, since crutches are in the tools file and not the weapons file. If your weaponsmith went into a mood and became a Legendary Weaponsmith after making a tool, then that's a bug.

I don't know, could it be that crutchmaking uses weaponsmithing? Because chains are under furniture in a forge, but need metalcrafting instead of blacksmithing. I haven't heard so and the wiki does not say so, but it seems possible and I wouldn't know where to look that up in the raws.
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EmeraldWind

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7256 on: December 20, 2012, 05:11:59 pm »

Huh? Of course they aren't weapons, hence my rage upon seeing the artifact. Definitely a higher weaponsmithing score.
I'm saying it shouldn't be possible, since crutches are in the tools file and not the weapons file. If your weaponsmith went into a mood and became a Legendary Weaponsmith after making a tool, then that's a bug.

I don't know, could it be that crutchmaking uses weaponsmithing? Because chains are under furniture in a forge, but need metalcrafting instead of blacksmithing. I haven't heard so and the wiki does not say so, but it seems possible and I wouldn't know where to look that up in the raws.

Which stat (if any in case of possession) went up from the artifact creation? And was his stat in weaponsmith already legendary?

I have no way of proving this, but I noticed once or twice that dwarves seemed to create an artifact for their second highest stat if the highest was already legendary. (Granted this could just be a simple mistake on my part... as I never noticed it until the after the artifact was done that the dwarf in question seemed to have two legendary skills. It could have been that the dwarf already had two legendary skills without me taking notice.) 
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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7257 on: December 20, 2012, 07:18:59 pm »

I recall distinctly my first potential weaponsmith mood who also happened to have metalcrafting enabled. The prick made an artifact lead crutch and got me all excited for nothing. He became a legendary metalcrafter afterwards.
GODDAMN SON OF A FILTHY WH#RE CU#T S#IT P#SS...
This was indeed my reaction in a nutshell.
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dermal_plating

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7258 on: December 21, 2012, 02:01:09 am »

It was a possessed mood, and so was completely worthless aside from the value of the crutch. At least the next dwarf to get his legs chopped off will get a happy thought from it. I started him with adequate in weapon, metal and armor smithing and he is still at this level in those skills. He acquired dabbling in metalcrafting after he made a few lead chains. Any idea how the game selects which skill to use?
« Last Edit: December 21, 2012, 02:26:12 am by dermal_plating »
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GuesssWho

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7259 on: December 21, 2012, 02:24:34 am »

A child has scumbed to meloncholy, everyone else is starving, and a vampire is rumming a(r)mok. Also, the same person just tantrumed twice in one second. I'm doomed.

On the bright side, I've got two nobles in a doorless room and I'm making the dig to water.

ETA: Nobles have escaped through lake. Murderous children roam the halls. What.
« Last Edit: December 21, 2012, 03:14:37 am by GuesssWho »
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