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Dwarf Fortress => DF Dwarf Mode Discussion => Topic started by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 18, 2011, 12:47:15 pm

Title: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 18, 2011, 12:47:15 pm
Since it is currently the best month of all time, I declare it Kill a Kobald month! It's rather simple really. Capture a kobold if possible and hold it prisoner until you deem it fit to kill it in the most amusing way possible. Endless possibilities! What about the Giant desert scorpion you found, and its just sitting doing nothing? Well, heres an excuse to chuck it in a pit with a mutant dog-thingy that deserves to perish before the might of the Dwarven Warmachine!

Magma, always a favorite. If possible, dig a pit from the surface all the way into the magma sea and drop him in there for a barrel of laughs.

Then there is of course pitting it against your fresh recruits (be sure to remove all armor and weapons from it!) and let them use their training swords to beat the fellow to a bloody pulp. Oh such fun!

The person who comes up with the most inventive Kobold kill wins a free box of cookies. And remember the Dwarven Warmachine is lording over you. Do NOT fail.

(Elves are not allowed to join. If an elf is spotted near any festive dwarven grounds it is to be shot, hacked apart, stabbed or beaten to death. No exceptions, except to elven kings. All other races besides dwarves must bring beer to partipate in festivities. Kobolds must be captured or killed.)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Tevish Szat on October 18, 2011, 12:55:16 pm
Sadly, I have a feeling that the 4th annual "kill a kobold month" will be a bust.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Kurtisk1 on October 18, 2011, 01:00:20 pm
Quote from: Tevish Szat on October 18, 2011, 12:55:16 pm
Sadly, I have a feeling that the 4th annual "kill a kobold month" will be a bust.
This...
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 18, 2011, 01:07:20 pm
Come on, wheres your spirit? Don't be the guy at a party that is depressed and ignores everyone.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Oliolli on October 18, 2011, 01:32:12 pm
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 18, 2011, 01:07:20 pm
Don't be the guy at a party that is depressed and ignores everyone.

But that's just who I am. Not being that guy would just be refusing myself :(
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: MadocComadrin on October 18, 2011, 01:36:05 pm
*Chains himself to the nearest Kobold.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 18, 2011, 01:36:25 pm
Are you sure you don't want to join in? We have whack a kobold, and funnel cakes! And infinite refills at the beer tent if you're a dwarf.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: zehive on October 18, 2011, 02:19:34 pm
I haven't seen a Kobold in 8 IRL months. World gen seems to show every kobold starving to death.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: acetech09 on October 18, 2011, 02:30:12 pm
Quote from: zehive on October 18, 2011, 02:19:34 pm
I haven't seen a Kobold in 8 IRL months. World gen seems to show every kobold starving to death.

[NO_EAT] them or else they starve.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Carpman on October 18, 2011, 03:46:09 pm
I kill hundreds of kobolds everytime I gen new worlds, do I win?
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Tradanbattlan on October 18, 2011, 06:49:16 pm
As a Kobold Rights activist, I stand firm in my position that you send people like me to the execution chambers instead. Kobolds are people, not pulp!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: A Spoony Bard on October 18, 2011, 06:52:21 pm
Quote from: Tradanbattlan on October 18, 2011, 06:49:16 pm
As a Kobold Rights activist, I stand firm in my position that you send people like me to the execution chambers instead. Kobolds are people, not pulp!
Are you implying that you are pulp?
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: UltraValican on October 18, 2011, 06:53:51 pm
They killed my shogun and her husband while they slept
I shall give kobolds reason to fear the surface dwellers.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: JDF117 on October 18, 2011, 08:52:24 pm
Quote from: zehive on October 18, 2011, 02:19:34 pm
I haven't seen a Kobold in 8 IRL months. World gen seems to show every kobold starving to death.

 I read that as 'I haven't seen an IRL Kobold in 8 months' and almost had a stroke.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Tradanbattlan on October 18, 2011, 08:53:51 pm
Quote from: A Spoony Bard on October 18, 2011, 06:52:21 pm
Quote from: Tradanbattlan on October 18, 2011, 06:49:16 pm
As a Kobold Rights activist, I stand firm in my position that you send people like me to the execution chambers instead. Kobolds are people, not pulp!
Are you implying that you are pulp?
I am implying that I'd rather be made into pulp than the tribe of kobolds I may or may not have smuggled into my fortress.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Kofthefens on October 18, 2011, 10:47:51 pm
How dare you?! Kobolds are superior to dwarves (though that's not saying much)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Eric Blank on October 18, 2011, 11:05:20 pm
No they aren't superior to dwarves, but they are adorable as all hell, and sentient. You know what else is adorable and sentient? baby dorfs. You know who kills baby dorfs just because baby dorfs occasionally piss them off and because they hate sentient life? Elves. To kill these poor, adorable, sentient, little creatures is to lower oneself to the level of the elves. Do you admit to being an elf? No? Then stop killing kobolds.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: EveryZig on October 19, 2011, 12:31:56 am
Quote from: UltraValican on October 18, 2011, 06:53:51 pm
They killed my shogun and her husband while they slept
So they killed two of your nobles.
Are you planning on throwing them one party or two?
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: zehive on October 19, 2011, 01:11:38 am
Quote from: Eric Blank on October 18, 2011, 11:05:20 pm
No they aren't superior to dwarves, but they are adorable as all hell, and sentient. You know what else is adorable and sentient? baby dorfs. You know who kills baby dorfs just because baby dorfs occasionally piss them off and because they hate sentient life? Elves. To kill these poor, adorable, sentient, little creatures is to lower oneself to the level of the elves. Do you admit to being an elf? No? Then stop killing kobolds.
Just for that, I'm making an all woman military. Baby shields all the way.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Yoink on October 19, 2011, 01:17:13 am
Later, I'll make a fort devoted entirely to killing kobolds. Will have to get a world with plenty of them, and maybe make them siegers. :)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 19, 2011, 05:46:18 am
Acursed kobold rights activists.. *Locks artifact door, pulls lever and unleashes 5 cave dragons on the Kobold lovers.*
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: EveryZig on October 19, 2011, 08:49:13 am
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 19, 2011, 05:46:18 am
Acursed kobold rights activists.. *Locks artifact door, pulls lever and unleashes 5 cave dragons on the Kobold lovers.*
You do, of course, realize that artifact doors don't actually stop building destroyers?  :D
(They just deconstruct them rather than destroying them.)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 19, 2011, 08:57:37 am
Really? OH well. *Pulls the other lever for MAGMA*
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wimopy on October 19, 2011, 09:24:11 am
I have a plan on how to kill a kobold, although it will take quite some time to accomplish (as I have no running fort at the moment)

You drop it into this huge pit that goes right into the magma sea, right? Well, not exactly my full idea.
I'm gonna build a bridge just above the magma, that the kobold slams into, just to paint the walls red, then I'll let loose some water onto it, then I'll fry it in some magma by retracting the bridge...

Anyone like that, or should I add even more to it? (I don't want to, because I'm lazy -ON BREAK-, but I can if I must)

And to the Kobold Rights Activists:

THEY STOLE ONE OF MY BARRELS OF DWARVEN RUM!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 19, 2011, 09:57:52 am
Once with the genesis mod, I broke a kobold child's neck, strangled it, and blasted it at a wall.
It blew up.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: ASCIt on October 19, 2011, 10:07:21 am
Kobolds are an endangered species, you know. DETA would most definitely be displeased with the contents of this thread.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: hjd_uk on October 19, 2011, 10:08:32 am
Ive never encountered any, only goblins.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: squeakyReaper on October 19, 2011, 10:20:36 am
(http://tgchan.org/kusaba/questarch/src/125358671782.gif)
Kobold love, not Kobold hate.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 19, 2011, 11:04:39 am
I just pitted a bunch of kobolds against a hydra in the arena.
Never once have I felt more sadistic.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wimopy on October 19, 2011, 11:29:13 am
Quote from: ASCIt on October 19, 2011, 10:07:21 am
Kobolds are an endangered species, you know. DETA would most definitely be displeased with the contents of this thread.

You just give them [NO_EAT] and they'll start moving out of the ENDANGERED list into the ENDANGERING (yeh, never heard that before) list.
Or should... they could always be killed before you kill them...

And anyway, I have a trade agreement with kobolds. For every stolen item they touch, they get 1 death times the value of said item... I think I owe them at least 60 000 more deaths...
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Chattox on October 19, 2011, 11:47:15 am
Quote from: Kofthefens on October 18, 2011, 10:47:51 pm
How dare you?! Kobolds are superior to dwarves (though that's not saying much)
Quote from: ASCIt on October 19, 2011, 10:07:21 am
Kobolds are an endangered species, you know. DETA would most definitely be displeased with the contents of this thread.

WHAT KIND OF CRAZY ALTERNATE DIMENSION HAVE I FALLEN INTO?!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 11:53:06 am
Quote from: Chattox on October 19, 2011, 11:47:15 am
Quote from: Kofthefens on October 18, 2011, 10:47:51 pm
How dare you?! Kobolds are superior to dwarves (though that's not saying much)
Quote from: ASCIt on October 19, 2011, 10:07:21 am
Kobolds are an endangered species, you know. DETA would most definitely be displeased with the contents of this thread.

WHAT KIND OF CRAZY ALTERNATE DIMENSION HAVE I FALLEN INTO?!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wimopy on October 19, 2011, 12:13:27 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 11:53:06 am
Quote from: Chattox on October 19, 2011, 11:47:15 am
Quote from: Kofthefens on October 18, 2011, 10:47:51 pm
How dare you?! Kobolds are superior to dwarves (though that's not saying much)
Quote from: ASCIt on October 19, 2011, 10:07:21 am
Kobolds are an endangered species, you know. DETA would most definitely be displeased with the contents of this thread.

WHAT KIND OF CRAZY ALTERNATE DIMENSION HAVE I FALLEN INTO?!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Supposingly, they say killing SENTIENT beings is elvish, because elves hate sentient life.

But tell me, isn't flooding an entire fort with magma Dwarven Fun?

Forgot to press Post - Now also including Necro's post while trying to NOT laugh.

Quick Edit: What do we do with people who say hurting others is NOT good?
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 12:29:25 pm
Quote from: Wimopy on October 19, 2011, 12:13:27 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 11:53:06 am
Quote from: Chattox on October 19, 2011, 11:47:15 am
Quote from: Kofthefens on October 18, 2011, 10:47:51 pm
How dare you?! Kobolds are superior to dwarves (though that's not saying much)
Quote from: ASCIt on October 19, 2011, 10:07:21 am
Kobolds are an endangered species, you know. DETA would most definitely be displeased with the contents of this thread.

WHAT KIND OF CRAZY ALTERNATE DIMENSION HAVE I FALLEN INTO?!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Supposingly, they say killing SENTIENT beings is elvish, because elves hate sentient life.

But tell me, isn't flooding an entire fort with magma Dwarven Fun?

Forgot to press Post - Now also including Necro's post while trying to NOT laugh.

Quick Edit: What do we do with people who say hurting others is NOT good?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: ASCIt on October 19, 2011, 12:30:52 pm
Ogod...
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: squeakyReaper on October 19, 2011, 12:35:08 pm
Necro, go back to yelling magma. This new you is utterly terrifying.

Now excuse me while I go back to crying.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 12:39:37 pm
Quote from: squeakyReaper on October 19, 2011, 12:35:08 pm
Necro, go back to yelling magma. This new you is utterly terrifying.

Now excuse me while I go back to crying.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: ASCIt on October 19, 2011, 12:42:39 pm
No...NO!

I'm going to have to do something, I need to get out of here....Oh, even getting caught by Candlejack would be bet
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 12:47:32 pm
Quote from: ASCIt on October 19, 2011, 12:42:39 pm
No...NO!

I'm going to have to do something, I need to get out of here....Oh, even getting caught by Candlejack would be bet

Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 12:29:25 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
;D
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 19, 2011, 01:31:04 pm
Yum, Kobold cupcakes. So sweet and tasty.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: UltraValican on October 19, 2011, 03:00:09 pm
Quote from: EveryZig on October 19, 2011, 12:31:56 am
Quote from: UltraValican on October 18, 2011, 06:53:51 pm
They killed my shogun and her husband while they slept
So they killed two of your nobles.
Are you planning on throwing them one party or two?
I modded shoguns to not make mandates and to occasionally help out, they're like philosophers.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 03:13:29 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 12:29:25 pm
Quote from: Wimopy on October 19, 2011, 12:13:27 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 11:53:06 am
Quote from: Chattox on October 19, 2011, 11:47:15 am
Quote from: Kofthefens on October 18, 2011, 10:47:51 pm
How dare you?! Kobolds are superior to dwarves (though that's not saying much)
Quote from: ASCIt on October 19, 2011, 10:07:21 am
Kobolds are an endangered species, you know. DETA would most definitely be displeased with the contents of this thread.

WHAT KIND OF CRAZY ALTERNATE DIMENSION HAVE I FALLEN INTO?!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Supposingly, they say killing SENTIENT beings is elvish, because elves hate sentient life.

But tell me, isn't flooding an entire fort with magma Dwarven Fun?

Forgot to press Post - Now also including Necro's post while trying to NOT laugh.

Quick Edit: What do we do with people who say hurting others is NOT good?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As i have stated before, i prefer muffins.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 03:18:51 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 03:13:29 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 12:29:25 pm
Quote from: Wimopy on October 19, 2011, 12:13:27 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 11:53:06 am
Quote from: Chattox on October 19, 2011, 11:47:15 am
Quote from: Kofthefens on October 18, 2011, 10:47:51 pm
How dare you?! Kobolds are superior to dwarves (though that's not saying much)
Quote from: ASCIt on October 19, 2011, 10:07:21 am
Kobolds are an endangered species, you know. DETA would most definitely be displeased with the contents of this thread.

WHAT KIND OF CRAZY ALTERNATE DIMENSION HAVE I FALLEN INTO?!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Supposingly, they say killing SENTIENT beings is elvish, because elves hate sentient life.

But tell me, isn't flooding an entire fort with magma Dwarven Fun?

Forgot to press Post - Now also including Necro's post while trying to NOT laugh.

Quick Edit: What do we do with people who say hurting others is NOT good?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As i have stated before, i prefer muffins.
Spoiler: Derpy? (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 05:19:01 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 03:18:51 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 03:13:29 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 12:29:25 pm
Quote from: Wimopy on October 19, 2011, 12:13:27 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 11:53:06 am
Quote from: Chattox on October 19, 2011, 11:47:15 am
Quote from: Kofthefens on October 18, 2011, 10:47:51 pm
How dare you?! Kobolds are superior to dwarves (though that's not saying much)
Quote from: ASCIt on October 19, 2011, 10:07:21 am
Kobolds are an endangered species, you know. DETA would most definitely be displeased with the contents of this thread.

WHAT KIND OF CRAZY ALTERNATE DIMENSION HAVE I FALLEN INTO?!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Supposingly, they say killing SENTIENT beings is elvish, because elves hate sentient life.

But tell me, isn't flooding an entire fort with magma Dwarven Fun?

Forgot to press Post - Now also including Necro's post while trying to NOT laugh.

Quick Edit: What do we do with people who say hurting others is NOT good?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As i have stated before, i prefer muffins.
Spoiler: Derpy? (click to show/hide)

I see no muffins, only a retarded pony with strangely hypnotic eyes.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 05:20:57 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 05:19:01 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 03:18:51 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 03:13:29 pm
As i have stated before, i prefer muffins.
Spoiler: Derpy? (click to show/hide)

I see no muffins, only a retarded pony with strangely hypnotic eyes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ih60vHh5c&feature=player_embedded (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ih60vHh5c&feature=player_embedded)

She is known to like muffins  ;)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 05:35:18 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 05:20:57 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 05:19:01 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 03:18:51 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 03:13:29 pm
As i have stated before, i prefer muffins.
Spoiler: Derpy? (click to show/hide)

I see no muffins, only a retarded pony with strangely hypnotic eyes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ih60vHh5c&feature=player_embedded (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ih60vHh5c&feature=player_embedded)

She is known to like muffins  ;)

I'm not sure whether i should be thankful that you clarified that, or angry that i am now left with even more questions the before.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 05:42:21 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 05:35:18 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 05:20:57 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 05:19:01 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 03:18:51 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 03:13:29 pm
As i have stated before, i prefer muffins.
Spoiler: Derpy? (click to show/hide)

I see no muffins, only a retarded pony with strangely hypnotic eyes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ih60vHh5c&feature=player_embedded (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ih60vHh5c&feature=player_embedded)

She is known to like muffins  ;)

I'm not sure whether i should be thankful that you clarified that, or angry that i am now left with even more questions the before.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: nerdyboy321123 on October 19, 2011, 05:57:48 pm
I feel this thread backfired... it sparked me not to kill kobolds, but to add this to creature_large_temperate.txt
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 06:29:26 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 05:42:21 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 05:35:18 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 05:20:57 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 05:19:01 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 03:18:51 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 03:13:29 pm
As i have stated before, i prefer muffins.
Spoiler: Derpy? (click to show/hide)

I see no muffins, only a retarded pony with strangely hypnotic eyes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ih60vHh5c&feature=player_embedded (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ih60vHh5c&feature=player_embedded)

She is known to like muffins  ;)

I'm not sure whether i should be thankful that you clarified that, or angry that i am now left with even more questions the before.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yep, angry.

Also,
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
her eye seems to be melting.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 06:39:29 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 06:29:26 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 05:42:21 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 05:35:18 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 05:20:57 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 05:19:01 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 19, 2011, 03:18:51 pm
Quote from: King DZA on October 19, 2011, 03:13:29 pm
As i have stated before, i prefer muffins.
Spoiler: Derpy? (click to show/hide)

I see no muffins, only a retarded pony with strangely hypnotic eyes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ih60vHh5c&feature=player_embedded (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ih60vHh5c&feature=player_embedded)

She is known to like muffins  ;)

I'm not sure whether i should be thankful that you clarified that, or angry that i am now left with even more questions the before.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yep, angry.

Also,
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
her eye seems to be melting.
Yeah, I didn't make the comic  :P
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 19, 2011, 06:45:57 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What have kobolds ever done to you (that you didn't deserve) you bastard!!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: UltraValican on October 19, 2011, 07:04:17 pm
Quote from: Nukarama on October 19, 2011, 06:45:57 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What have kobolds ever done to you (that you didn't deserve) you bastard!!
Kill my shogun, her husband and a cat. My poor Orcs were simple farming folk.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 19, 2011, 07:08:23 pm
Quote from: UltraValican on October 19, 2011, 07:04:17 pm
My Orcs were sick kobold murdering bastards that got everything they deserved.

Fix'd that for you, and the actions of a single kobold doesn't mean all kobolds are evil, we're a simple marble loving race.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: MadocComadrin on October 20, 2011, 07:18:01 am
Kobolds are the exception to the rules. You kill everthing else, but you just let the kobolds run around doing their little thing and if they try to steal something too valuable, you just roll up some newspaper, thwap them on the nose, and so "No" in a stern yet forgiving voice.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Spaghetti7 on October 20, 2011, 07:31:30 am
This thread is horrible.
 It is about the only time I have ever seen Bay 12 forum-goers show any sort of compassion, love or understanding.

I say we kill the buggers, and I'm gonna help. TO THE FORTRESS!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 20, 2011, 08:04:20 am
Must kill kobolds..
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Yoink on October 20, 2011, 08:18:13 am
I know this one time I sicced my militia on a kobold thief, then changed my mind and canceled the order. Some dwarf or other had already stabbed 'em through the chest, severing the spine, and leaving them crawling away, pitifully, as my dwarves ran over to reclaim the stolen goods. It suffocated just before it reached the map edge.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 20, 2011, 11:07:15 am
No more ponies. I hate them more than the kobolds. And why do I hate kobolds? In my very first fortress, they ambushed me and killed my dwarves. I had no idea what was happening. I plan on making every last one of those squat mutants PERISH.

And ponies are just everywhere. Its annoying. But BACK ON TOPIC.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 20, 2011, 11:11:54 am
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 20, 2011, 11:07:15 am
No more ponies. I hate them more than the kobolds. And why do I hate kobolds? In my very first fortress, they ambushed me and killed my dwarves. I had no idea what was happening. I plan on making every last one of those squat mutants PERISH.

And ponies are just everywhere. Its annoying. But BACK ON TOPIC.
Humans have fluffy cats and dogs and pets. The kobold-loving dwarfs have dog-like humanoids that grab -pig tail socks- suicidally, and then go back to their underground lair if they haven't been magma'd yet. I think the kobolds are a dwarfier pet  :P

And the ponies are everywhere. FOREVERRRRRR
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 20, 2011, 11:14:36 am
Except in DF, kobolds aren't dog like.
Go download Kobold Quest, which is also made by Toady. In the main menu, you can see what the squat bastards are in DF.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 20, 2011, 11:24:36 am
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 20, 2011, 11:14:36 am
Except in DF, kobolds aren't dog like.
Go download Kobold Quest, which is also made by Toady. In the main menu, you can see what the squat bastards are in DF.
Nevermind, I read the wrong description. In a mod (Kobold Kamp?) it said dog ears and it stuck in my head. Damn it, sorry guys.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 20, 2011, 11:27:02 am
I just accept that they look adorable. Or so everyone says. But I still hate their guts.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wimopy on October 20, 2011, 12:15:26 pm
You really want to know what they look like?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. And once you let them eat, they'll be back to feed the cupcake-making machine. And steal your most important artifacts and your masterwork mechanisms.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: IcarusOne on October 20, 2011, 12:26:31 pm
Funnily enough, yesterday i had one of my giant eagles biting a kobold thief's guts out. "spilling the guts!" and it kept crawling away while my eagle got bored and wandered back to it's pasture. I was watching patiently to see how long this kobold would survive.. and when he was finally past my traps again (which he ofcourse avoided, the little bugger) he passed out, and a decided to kick it in the face until it finally went down.

I engraved a slab for this kobold.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 20, 2011, 06:03:49 pm
FACE KICK!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: simonthedwarf on October 21, 2011, 12:58:18 am
Looks like kobold month got off to a dead start.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 01:24:29 am
Quote from: simonthedwarf on October 21, 2011, 12:58:18 am
Looks like kobold month got off to a dead start.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Angel Of Death on October 21, 2011, 01:35:52 am
My favourite way to kill a kobold is to dump them into a pit full of wooden spikes and slowly impale them.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: dwarfhoplite on October 21, 2011, 03:43:17 am
for me every month is a kill a kobold month
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Dsarker on October 21, 2011, 03:55:46 am
Quote from: dwarfhoplite on October 21, 2011, 03:43:17 am
for me every month is a kill a kobold month

For you, the month dwarfhoplite killed your entire village was the most important time of your life. But for dwarfhoplite, it was october.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 12:15:58 pm
Quote from: dwarfhoplite on October 21, 2011, 03:43:17 am
for me every month is a kill a kobold month

You bastard. You're worse than the elves.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 21, 2011, 12:19:10 pm
Quote from: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 12:15:58 pm
Quote from: dwarfhoplite on October 21, 2011, 03:43:17 am
for me every month is a kill a kobold month

You bastard. You're worse than the elves.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wimopy on October 21, 2011, 12:56:03 pm
Quote from: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 12:15:58 pm
Quote from: dwarfhoplite on October 21, 2011, 03:43:17 am
for me every month is a kill a kobold month

You bastard. You're worse than the elves.

That, is one of the greatest compliments I have ever heard.  :'(
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 12:57:47 pm
For me, every hour is kill a kobold hour.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Hitty40 on October 21, 2011, 01:15:41 pm
Quote from: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 12:15:58 pm
You bastard. You're worse than the elves.


Sigged.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 01:21:29 pm
Quote from: hitty40 on October 21, 2011, 01:15:41 pm
Sigged.

Signed up a week ago and I am already sigged  ;D ! I feel like a real dorf!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 02:04:21 pm
I just finished murdering some kobolds with an almost immortal megabeast I made in arena mode. What'd I miss?
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 02:09:58 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 02:04:21 pm
I just finished murdering some kobolds with an almost immortal megabeast I made in arena mode. What'd I miss?

I murdered everydorf. KOBOLDS SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Hitty40 on October 21, 2011, 02:11:00 pm
Quote from: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 02:09:58 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 02:04:21 pm
I just finished murdering some kobolds with an almost immortal megabeast I made in arena mode. What'd I miss?

I murdered everydorf. KOBOLDS SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH

Yeah yeah, go back to your caves before I take [NO_EAT] off.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 02:13:32 pm
Quote from: hitty40 on October 21, 2011, 02:11:00 pm
Quote from: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 02:09:58 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 02:04:21 pm
I just finished murdering some kobolds with an almost immortal megabeast I made in arena mode. What'd I miss?

I murdered everydorf. KOBOLDS SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH

Yeah yeah, go back to your caves before I take [NO_EAT] off.
That's what I wanted to say.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 02:15:18 pm
Quote from: hitty40 on October 21, 2011, 02:11:00 pm
Yeah yeah, go back to your caves before I take [NO_EAT] off.

Sigged
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 21, 2011, 02:31:38 pm
With my current fortress, kobolds are just fed to my pet sharks. Though you know, one of them got spotted at the wrong time, escaped most of my forts defenses only to dodge an attack from one of my dogs into a pit that was currently owned by a GCS.


The screaming was glorious.

On a side note, I think I have too many pit-based defenses. A dwarf or two will fall in the shark tank once or twice. Oh well.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wimopy on October 21, 2011, 02:42:51 pm
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 21, 2011, 02:31:38 pm
With my current fortress, kobolds are just fed to my pet sharks. Though you know, one of them got spotted at the wrong time, escaped most of my forts defenses only to dodge an attack from one of my dogs into a pit that was currently owned by a GCS.


The screaming was glorious.

On a side note, I think I have too many pit-based defenses. A dwarf or two will fall in the shark tank once or twice. Oh well.

GCS and a kobold thief, sounds splendid... I need to get working on some kobolds vs. big things in the arena to see what's the most sadistic and effective way to kill one.

On the side note: Think of it as free entertainment and your sharks also get some booze. Only downside I see is the possible tantrum spirals.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 02:44:58 pm
I just tortured a kobold in the arena with a custom race I made. Horribly.
I used my tail to break it's neck, and then I bit it's right arm off and spat all the 3 pieces at said kobbo. Then I smacked it around until it died.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 21, 2011, 02:48:00 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 02:44:58 pm
I just tortured a kobold in the arena with a custom race I made. Horribly.
I used my tail to break it's neck, and then I bit it's right arm off and spat all the 3 pieces at said kobbo. Then I smacked it around until it died.

I. LOVE IT.

Also.. is it possible to chop off arms and beat someone to death with it? !!SCIENCE!! may be required here. Arms, that are chopped off and ON FIRE.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wimopy on October 21, 2011, 03:13:47 pm
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 21, 2011, 02:48:00 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 02:44:58 pm
I just tortured a kobold in the arena with a custom race I made. Horribly.
I used my tail to break it's neck, and then I bit it's right arm off and spat all the 3 pieces at said kobbo. Then I smacked it around until it died.

I. LOVE IT.

Also.. is it possible to chop off arms and beat someone to death with it? !!SCIENCE!! may be required here. Arms, that are chopped off and ON FIRE.

You can use anything as a weapon that you can pick up. From vomit to sand, from brains to brawns... and of course normal weapons from axes to warhammers.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 21, 2011, 03:21:39 pm
Hm, well. I tested in arena. I chopped off someones arm then beat several other people to death with it. Arms are suprisingly effective weapons. They were all kobolds and elves by the way.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 03:23:07 pm
Arms?
Pfft, I use spears made from sunberries.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 03:28:28 pm
I hate you all  >:(
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Hitty40 on October 21, 2011, 03:29:15 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 03:23:07 pm
Arms?
Pfft, I use spears made from sunberries.

Sunberries?
Pfft, I use spears made from water.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 21, 2011, 03:30:08 pm
I pictured the arm beat-down looked like this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2HuwbT-QV4
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Dsarker on October 21, 2011, 03:30:36 pm
Quote from: hitty40 on October 21, 2011, 03:29:15 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 03:23:07 pm
Arms?
Pfft, I use spears made from sunberries.

Sunberries?
Pfft, I use spears made from water.

Water?
Pfft, I use warhammers made from adamantine.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 03:33:36 pm
I did some more brutal kobold-torture with my modded race.
I made a kobold give in to pain by pinching it's hand and fingers.
Then I punched out it's teeth.
Then I broke all it's bones, strangled it a bit, and then finished it off.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Hitty40 on October 21, 2011, 03:44:57 pm
Quote from: Dsarker on October 21, 2011, 03:30:36 pm
Quote from: hitty40 on October 21, 2011, 03:29:15 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 03:23:07 pm
Arms?
Pfft, I use spears made from sunberries.

Sunberries?
Pfft, I use spears made from water.

Water?
Pfft, I use warhammers made from adamantine.

Adamantine?
Pfft, I use swords made from zinc.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 03:46:40 pm
Quote from: hitty40 on October 21, 2011, 03:44:57 pm
Quote from: Dsarker on October 21, 2011, 03:30:36 pm
Quote from: hitty40 on October 21, 2011, 03:29:15 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 03:23:07 pm
Arms?
Pfft, I use spears made from sunberries.

Sunberries?
Pfft, I use spears made from water.

Water?
Pfft, I use warhammers made from adamantine.

Adamantine?
Pfft, I use swords made from zinc.
Zinc?
Pfft, I don't use weapons at all.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: MadocComadrin on October 21, 2011, 03:53:02 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 03:46:40 pm
Pfft, I don't use weapons at all.
Pfft? I say bah!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Dsarker on October 21, 2011, 03:54:40 pm
Quote from: MadocComadrin on October 21, 2011, 03:53:02 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 03:46:40 pm
Pfft, I don't use weapons at all.
Pfft? I say bah!
Bah? I said hab.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 21, 2011, 04:00:50 pm
Quote from: Dsarker on October 21, 2011, 03:54:40 pm
Quote from: MadocComadrin on October 21, 2011, 03:53:02 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 03:46:40 pm
Pfft, I don't use weapons at all.
Pfft? I say bah!
Bah? I said hab.
Bah dias I? Hab.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 04:13:21 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 21, 2011, 04:00:50 pm
Quote from: Dsarker on October 21, 2011, 03:54:40 pm
Quote from: MadocComadrin on October 21, 2011, 03:53:02 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 21, 2011, 03:46:40 pm
Pfft, I don't use weapons at all.
Pfft? I say bah!
Bah? I said hab.
Bah dias I? Hab.

fmlgkjrghirjhorkvpkirbpokerhj3ipoghO3IUJUO? ,FEJFOIJPJOGhkhogjr.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: ZeroSumHappiness on October 21, 2011, 04:24:35 pm
ɥɐq¿ ı sɐıp qɐɥ˙
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Jacob/Lee on October 21, 2011, 04:39:20 pm
Alright, you petty excuses for dwarves, go back to your forest retreats and caves.

I use kobolds as test subjects/cannon fodder/sparring dummies.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 21, 2011, 04:51:55 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on October 21, 2011, 04:39:20 pm
Alright, you petty excuses for dwarves, go back to your forest retreats and caves.

I use kobolds as test subjects/cannon fodder/sparring dummies.
Kobolds are a dwarfier pet than the dogs and cats that are oh-so-commonly assigned  :P

Think about it: They live in caves, they grab all the -pig tail socks- that your dwarves want to get as well, and generally die trying to get aforementioned sock.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: reteip9 on October 21, 2011, 05:49:51 pm
I have never ever seen a kobold but I do get the monthly goblin snatcher the seasonal goblin ambush and the yearly goblin siege.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 21, 2011, 08:47:56 pm
Kobolds usually come thinking they're all mighty until they are discovered and try to run away from the caravan guards.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 21, 2011, 11:47:03 pm
It's all fun and games until a kobold punches you in the right testicle, tearing the muscle.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Eric Blank on October 22, 2011, 12:50:09 am
Then it's fun again when you pick that kobold up and shove your sword up her ass.

Which happened to one thief that got too close to the dwarven caravan. Literally; stabbed in the anus by the swordsman guard. Some people just deserve a sword right up their backside, and she decided she had to be one of them that day.

Luckily her friend Kuldus didn't get into a fight with members of my civ before I runesmith'ed him into it. He's currently sitting in my dining hall whimpering after the screams of "FIRE! EVERYBODY PANIC AND HIDE IN THE DINING HALL!"

I intend to take in every single kobold thief I can. And not murder them.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 22, 2011, 01:09:38 am
Quote from: Eric Blank on October 22, 2011, 12:50:09 am
Literally; stabbed in the anus by the swordsman guard.
SQUICK
Quote from: Eric Blank on October 22, 2011, 12:50:09 am
I intend to take in every single kobold thief I can. And not murder them.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 22, 2011, 01:13:29 am
Quote from: Eric Blank on October 22, 2011, 12:50:09 am
Literally; stabbed in the anus by the swordsman guard.
SQUICK
Quote from: Eric Blank on October 22, 2011, 12:50:09 am
I intend to take in every single kobold thief I can. And not murder them.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

EDIT: How awesome would it be to be that kobold? "Maybe I'll just steal a cup, buy a meal with it. Hopefully they don't kill me. Wait they're offering me a plate and seat at the dining table! *eyes tearing up* I am so happy!" -Kuldus
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 22, 2011, 01:18:07 am
Quote from: Nukarama on October 22, 2011, 01:13:29 am
Quote from: Eric Blank on October 22, 2011, 12:50:09 am
Literally; stabbed in the anus by the swordsman guard.
SQUICK
Quote from: Eric Blank on October 22, 2011, 12:50:09 am
I intend to take in every single kobold thief I can. And not murder them.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

EDIT: How awesome would it be to be that kobold? "Maybe I'll just steal a cup, buy a meal with it. Hopefully they don't kill me. Wait they're offering me a plate and seat at the dining table! *eyes tearing up* I am so happy!" -Kuldus
He never said he wouldn't cause pain.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 22, 2011, 01:24:45 am
Dorf-"Here have some glass shards"
Kobold-"You eat glass?"
Dorf-"No, you do. It tastes good."
Kobold-"Okie dokie!"
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Eric Blank on October 22, 2011, 02:30:05 am
I don't intend to cause pain at all. Wishing the DFusion friendship utility was working though so they could actually contribute to the society they are now members of. Fishing being broken due to fish often not existing/the fish not reproducing, ever, and the fact kobolds are too damn pathetic to be permitted to hunt the giraffes and honey badgers (or hippos, or carp, or cyclops-civ ambushes) means they won't have much to do besides socialize and reproduce.
They still lay eggs, so reproduction shouldn't be hard if I can just keep the damn peahens and that other useless bird in their pasture. Then I just gotta make sure the dwarves don't take their egg :o

However, I don't think the humans of the town I embarked on will be so nice to thieves they find. They're already hostile to us, so the civilization switch won't help that for the poor kobolds. They definitely didn't like that ettin that showed up or the elven caravan...
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 22, 2011, 05:41:22 am
Sparing kobolds? Treason. Those little scumbags deserve PAIN. I shall add yet another pit. Except i'll make magma hydras, fill the pit with magma and throw kobolds at it.

Also, 100 strong kobold ambush made my adventurer suffocate. I plan on killing as many as possible, across all the worlds. Kobolds are a disease that must be purged so that the rightful kings of the land may rule.

DWARVEN KIND, SHOW NO MERCY!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 22, 2011, 07:25:59 am
I just pitted 100 kobolds against a creature made from iron that can release a paralyzing vapor.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 22, 2011, 07:30:56 am
*Rubs hands together* Goood.. good..

Note to self: When you don't have magma to work with, or magma cannot solve something (Very rare) use excessive amounts of pits.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 22, 2011, 07:32:44 am
And now I just killed a few kobolds with my modded race again in arena mode.
I ripped (pinched off) the fourth kobold's leg, and beat it to death with it.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 22, 2011, 07:37:03 am
Its the most fun when you beat someone to death with their own limb. One point!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Angel Of Death on October 22, 2011, 08:38:17 am
I'm going to list my favourite kobold killing methods in no paticular order.

1: Breaking every bone in their body and finishing them by slitting their throat

2: Disembowelment followed by a decapitation

3: Gouging out the eyes, breaking the arms and legs and stoning them to death

4: Same as above, but replacing the stoning with incineration.

5: Tearing off all of their body parts and letting them bleed out.

6: 3 but with severed kobold heads instead of rocks

7: Beating them to death with another kobold's guts

8: Beating them to death with their OWN guts

9: (for kobold children only) Crushing their skulls with a rock after tearing off all of their facial features.

10: *drum roll* My favourite method is... Smashing their fingers and toes, then strangling them to the point of near death. I then wait for them to wake up and yank out their teeth and rip off the facial features. If they survive, I break their arms and legs. When they pass out, I cut off their fingers and if they're male, castrate them. After that, I try to chop off each one of their limbs. If they survive after having their arms and legs removed, I pick up a limb and beat them to death with it.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Jacob/Lee on October 22, 2011, 08:42:53 am
Somewhere, a Kobold Rights Activist is crying his eyes out after reading the last bunch of posts.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Angel Of Death on October 22, 2011, 08:44:06 am
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on October 22, 2011, 08:42:53 am
Somewhere, a Kobold Rights Activist is crying his eyes out after reading the last bunch of posts.
I shall subject him or her to number 10!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Tradanbattlan on October 22, 2011, 10:54:06 am
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on October 22, 2011, 08:42:53 am
Somewhere, a Kobold Rights Activist is crying his eyes out after reading the last bunch of posts.
I am. I am also hugging my poor immigrant kobolds who also read that.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Jacob/Lee on October 22, 2011, 10:59:21 am
I have kobolds in my fort, too. You want to know what happens to them?

I take great care of them, of course! See!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
     V
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Boost One on October 22, 2011, 11:06:26 am
Quote from: Angel Of Death on October 22, 2011, 08:38:17 am
I'm going to list my favourite kobold killing methods in no paticular order.

I'll take a number nine; two number threes, one with fries, yeah, medium, sure; and a number eight, supersize it; all with drinks. Oh, do you still have those little packets of tartare sauce? Great. Can I pay with EFTPOS?
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 22, 2011, 01:24:29 pm
Kobold rights activists are dwarves. Except they are a sub-species version of them. These dwarves are much kinder and weaker then the normal ones. They can't kill anything because they think its cute, even if it is currently disembowling them. These dwarves also hate caves and rocks and magma and prefer to live above-ground. Also, no one cares about them because of their complaints. If complaining goes on for too long, all the other races seeks them out to shut them up.

Even kobolds. Which are then killed RIGHT after.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 22, 2011, 01:52:20 pm
Let the record show I am not against killing kobolds, IF they deserve it. I was ambushed by the buggers and I slashed them to ribbons. I disapprove of needless slaughter of innocent ones, and if they are just taking a cup I would allow it, but not my cotton candy sabres.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: King DZA on October 22, 2011, 01:59:06 pm
Unfortunately, kobold killing is not an option for me. Even if i wanted to. I'm not willing to gen a whole other world when I've just barely begun to scratch the surface of my current one. Someday, though...

Eh, I guess it's alright. Senseless kobold slaughter would violate my policy anyway.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: EveryZig on October 22, 2011, 04:29:23 pm
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 22, 2011, 01:24:29 pm
Kobold rights activists are dwarves. Except they are a sub-species version of them. These dwarves are much kinder and weaker then the normal ones. They can't kill anything because they think its cute, even if it is currently disembowling them. These dwarves also hate caves and rocks and magma and prefer to live above-ground.
Lies.
No dwarf dislikes magma. Even the ones who are swimming in it at the time. (If you inspect them, you can see they are ecstatic until they drown.)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Tradanbattlan on October 22, 2011, 05:44:10 pm
Hm.
Is there a place with a bunch of kobold pictures stocked?

I need such a thing for research about being cruel and violent about them and not to print them out for pro-kobold propoganda.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 22, 2011, 05:54:56 pm
Quote from: Tradanbattlan on October 22, 2011, 05:44:10 pm
Hm.
Is there a place with a bunch of kobold pictures stocked?

I need such a thing for research about being cruel and violent about them and not to print them out for pro-kobold propoganda.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3038348/ (http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3038348/)
^That? Ever so slightly NSFW
EDIT: No this, http://tgchan.org/kusaba/tg/res/524-100.html (http://tgchan.org/kusaba/tg/res/524-100.html)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Tradanbattlan on October 22, 2011, 06:09:30 pm
Quote from: Nukarama on October 22, 2011, 05:54:56 pm
Quote from: Tradanbattlan on October 22, 2011, 05:44:10 pm
Hm.
Is there a place with a bunch of kobold pictures stocked?

I need such a thing for research about being cruel and violent about them and not to print them out for pro-kobold propoganda.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3038348/ (http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3038348/)
^That? Ever so slightly NSFW
EDIT: No this, http://tgchan.org/kusaba/tg/res/524-100.html (http://tgchan.org/kusaba/tg/res/524-100.html)
Excellent. Thank you, brother. B)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 22, 2011, 07:46:02 pm
We don't need kobolds. They steal things and generally disrupt everyones lives. They are far more happy being dead then slowly starving. A mercy killing, really.

EDIT: When kobolds die, I steal their snouts for good luck.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: simonthedwarf on October 22, 2011, 10:34:02 pm
Looks like Kill a Kobold Month is facing a lot of

stiff

competition.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Tradanbattlan on October 22, 2011, 10:39:05 pm
For every kobold you kill, I give three more relationships on the popular koboldic dating website caveHarmony! Wahaha!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Jacob/Lee on October 22, 2011, 10:47:39 pm
Quote from: Tradanbattlan on October 22, 2011, 10:39:05 pm
For every kobold you kill, I give three more relationships on the popular koboldic dating website caveHarmony! Wahaha!
Grab your torches and pitchforks, dwarves! We're sacking a server!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Yoink on October 22, 2011, 10:49:06 pm
Quote from: Tradanbattlan on October 22, 2011, 10:39:05 pm
For every kobold you kill, I give three more relationships on the popular koboldic dating website caveHarmony! Wahaha!
For every kobold you impregnate, I will nail seven to a wall by their snout! :P
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 22, 2011, 11:56:17 pm
Quote from: simonthedwarf on October 22, 2011, 10:34:02 pm
Looks like Kill a Kobold Month is facing a lot of

stiff

competition.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: JDF117 on October 23, 2011, 12:22:32 am
Quote from: Yoink on October 22, 2011, 10:49:06 pm
Quote from: Tradanbattlan on October 22, 2011, 10:39:05 pm
For every kobold you kill, I give three more relationships on the popular koboldic dating website caveHarmony! Wahaha!
For every kobold you impregnate, I will nail seven to a wall by their snout! :P

  If snot was a fluid, this would actually be plausible in adventure mode.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Dsarker on October 23, 2011, 12:23:26 am
Snout, not snot.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: simonthedwarf on October 23, 2011, 12:26:29 am
Look, I will not accept this kind of treatment from a guy with no arms. I suggest you take your business elsewhere.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Nukarama on October 23, 2011, 12:47:54 am
Quote from: simonthedwarf on October 23, 2011, 12:26:29 am
Look, I will not accept this kind of treatment from a guy with no arms. I suggest you take your business elsewhere.

 :'( You had bring it up, didn't you!? *runs off crying*
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 23, 2011, 01:20:38 am
Yeah, yeah, go back to kissing kobolds, you hippies.
I have NO_EAT highlighted, and I'm not afraid to press backspace.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: JJtoocool on October 23, 2011, 01:29:43 am
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 23, 2011, 01:20:38 am
Yeah, yeah, go back to kissing kobolds, you hippies.
I have NO_EAT highlighted, and I'm not afraid to press backspace.

Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 23, 2011, 01:39:44 am
Quote from: JJtoocool on October 23, 2011, 01:29:43 am
Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.
I will now sig this.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: JJtoocool on October 23, 2011, 01:52:53 am
Quote from: jaxy15 on October 23, 2011, 01:39:44 am
Quote from: JJtoocool on October 23, 2011, 01:29:43 am
Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.
I will now sig this.

 :D
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 23, 2011, 09:06:30 am
Today is indeed an important day everyone. For today, its the kobold toss competition. Hit a kobold as many tiles away as possible. The winner will get a fully grown war cave-dragon pet. No bronze collosi, only dwarves may toss them. For max effect, please break all limbs first. That is all.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Kofthefens on October 23, 2011, 03:19:48 pm
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 23, 2011, 09:06:30 am
Today is indeed an important day everyone. For today, its the kobold toss competition. Hit a kobold as many tiles away as possible. The winner will get a fully grown war cave-dragon pet. No bronze collosi, only dwarves may toss them. For max effect, please break all limbs first. That is all.

Hmmmm.... A live cave dragon? I might just have to stop being a kobold activist...
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 23, 2011, 04:19:01 pm
You can be a rights activist, but know you want to help them right? As I said before, its a mercy killing. Slowly starving, or a quick (sometimes drawn out) death?
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Tradanbattlan on October 23, 2011, 04:20:44 pm
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 23, 2011, 04:19:01 pm
You can be a rights activist, but know you want to help them right? As I said before, its a mercy killing. Slowly starving, or a quick (sometimes drawn out) death?
You make it sound like I don't give them food and a home :­P
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 23, 2011, 04:26:26 pm
What do you give them really? Badly made raw meat, a dark uncleaned pit and force them to endure the nightmares that is the glorious dwarven society? Roars from forgotten beasts making them tremble at night? No freedom? Force them to breed in their uncleaned pit too? EAT THEIR EGGS?

No, you will see that they suffer.. and you must do the correct thing.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Tradanbattlan on October 23, 2011, 04:28:16 pm
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 23, 2011, 04:26:26 pm
What do you give them really? Badly made raw meat, a dark uncleaned pit and force them to endure the nightmares that is the glorious dwarven society? Roars from forgotten beasts making them tremble at night? No freedom? Force them to breed in their uncleaned pit too? EAT THEIR EGGS?

No, you will see that they suffer.. and you must do the correct thing.
Do the correct thing and section off part of the living quarter for nobles for the kobolds and give them the same meals my dwarves get? Sure, thanks!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 23, 2011, 04:31:11 pm
You are foolish. They will become even worse. Mocked by your dwarves. Outcasts!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Organum on October 23, 2011, 04:39:41 pm
The Dwarves don't have racism yet, thankfully. If you keep Dose 'Bolds out of the general populace, maybe give 'em an expansive artificial cave system up on the surface to call their own, and they should be okay. It'll be a nature preserve, sort of.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 23, 2011, 04:53:48 pm
Why would you love kobolds? What have they done to deserve ANY kind of love or mercy? Theres a reason WHY they don't survive past world-gen. They are vermin who cannot care for themselves. And you know what? Since they are vermin, by Armok THEY WILL DIE LIKE VERMIN TOO!


I have alot of opinions about them.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wannazzaki on October 23, 2011, 05:47:41 pm
(http://1d4chan.org/images/4/49/DwarfPsion_anonib.jpg)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 23, 2011, 06:07:12 pm
Nice picture. 1 in 100 chance of getting a dwarf with mental abilities might be a good idea.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Yoink on October 23, 2011, 09:56:15 pm
Haven't had much DF time these past weeks, and I'm not sure if this counts, but I just had an adventurer in a young world run around slaughtering tonnes of kobolds. Also, since I naturally used DFusion to give myself companions to keep the stupid, unnecessary bogeymen away, the kobolds ended up getting cut to bits by a demon and cave crocodile combo. Unfortunately, that adventurer's life was cut short when, after sustaining horrible injuries from the aforementioned cave croc, she had a nap in the mountains and was viciously murdered by a cowardly kobold. >:(
Time for her relatives to go kobold hunting!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 23, 2011, 10:02:08 pm
Collect the snouts. It is a symbol of luck.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Dave1004 on October 23, 2011, 10:41:23 pm
I just dumped three kobolds into my plague pit. They slowly melted! It warmed my heart, melting those ugly scaly junk-snatchers.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 23, 2011, 11:12:34 pm
Process the goo into grade C gruel and ship it off to the Mountainhome.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Spaghetti7 on October 24, 2011, 09:47:35 am
I said I would, and I have. Not too dramatically, but he's dead.
Bloody thieves.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
My militia commander charged him into the river. Pictured body bits are his arm and foot.
Job jolly well done.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 24, 2011, 10:24:00 am
I hope that his arm was removed first. That will teach him to steal.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 24, 2011, 10:28:29 am
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 24, 2011, 10:24:00 am
I hope that his arm was removed first. That will teach him to steal.
China ftw
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Spaghetti7 on October 24, 2011, 10:41:26 am
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 24, 2011, 10:24:00 am
I hope that his arm was removed first. That will teach him to steal.
It was indeed.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 24, 2011, 12:21:57 pm
Quote from: Spaghetti7 on October 24, 2011, 10:41:26 am
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 24, 2011, 10:24:00 am
I hope that his arm was removed first. That will teach him to steal.
It was indeed.

*Rubs hands together*
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Good.. good.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 25, 2011, 09:50:46 am
Not much support this month. Damn kobold lovers.. but onwards, it is time for the kobold survival challenge. Make a dwarf in the arena, deck him out in whatever armor and weapons you want to use, then spawn kobolds using coppers items and attempt to survive the onslaught. Most kills wins you.. im running out of stuff to give so you get a pat on the back.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on October 25, 2011, 11:45:34 am
Dorf armed with full steel armor + platinum warhammer and shield vs 30 kobolds with copper mail shirts and daggers.
I won, but I lost my left arm.
I killed them all with only a shield.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 25, 2011, 03:04:07 pm
Well done. Bonus points for not using adamantine. If someone takes down the onslaught in leather, cloth or inferior metal armor and weapons, I suppose that counts too.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wimopy on October 26, 2011, 06:48:43 am
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 25, 2011, 03:04:07 pm
Well done. Bonus points for not using adamantine. If someone takes down the onslaught in leather, cloth or inferior metal armor and weapons, I suppose that counts too.

I'll take them using a loincloth as my only weapon... and stuff I find on the kobolds... like skin and meat... Sounds fun.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Dave1004 on October 26, 2011, 07:22:00 am
In the arena...One dwarf.

Skills:

L8 Speardwarf/Fighting/Biting/Wrestling/Armor
Equipment: Steel Spear, Full Iron.

vs

25 Kobolds

Skills: Lvl 3 Knife, Dodging, Biting, Armor.
Equipment: Large copper daggers, Copper caps/low boots/mail shirts.

Winner: Dwarf!

On a side note: I pitted 20 dwarves vs 20 humans, and they had the exact same stats and gear. The humans won...with 8 left. o_O...
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wimopy on October 26, 2011, 09:13:28 am
First attempt:

One dwarf.

No skills.
Equipment: A toad leather loincloth - weapon

vs

40 kobolds

No skills

I killed 7, then dodged down a bridge head first.

Attempt two in one minute.

Attempt Two: Utter failure. Seems like fighting 40 kobolds causes too much tiredness, my dwarf survived a mortal wound for multiple turns but passed out twice from the tiredness (so did quite a few kobolds). Gonna add 5 levels of Misc. Obj user after lunch.

Ok, third test proves it. Without armour, 40 kobolds will just gang you until you drop from tiredness.


Fourth Test,

Expert Misc Obj User
Toad leather armour (Coat, 2 gloves, 2 shows, helm and trousers), Toad Leather Loincloth weapon (Damn kobolds MUST eat my loincloth. Got quite a few kills by smashing skulls into brains with it)

vs 41 kobolds
No skills or equipment

Outcome: Dwarf suffocated while unconcious, after eye was bitten, reducing eyesight to one tile. 16 kobolds dead. Most of the with their skulls smashed into brains, by a toad leather loincloth.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: simonthedwarf on October 26, 2011, 07:02:38 pm
Cowards! When fighting kobolds only misc object and biting are allowed weapons.

And ARMOR? Armok is your shield, magma is your faith.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wannazzaki on October 26, 2011, 07:14:25 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


I say we just nuke them from orbit, like so.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 26, 2011, 08:25:52 pm
We lose our magma if we do that, so no.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Boost One on October 26, 2011, 08:29:17 pm
Blowing up the planet might trigger a cave-in  :-\
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 26, 2011, 09:19:06 pm
Yeah so its not worth it.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wimopy on October 27, 2011, 11:17:37 am
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 26, 2011, 08:25:52 pm
We lose our magma if we do that, so no.

Wouldn't it turn the whole world into magma and make it spread out into the far reaches of space?
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 27, 2011, 11:19:33 am
We also lose our socks its not worth it! Anyways, this will be the final day of kill a kobold month. It is saddening, I know.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 27, 2011, 11:20:52 am
Quote from: Wimopy on October 27, 2011, 11:17:37 am
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 26, 2011, 08:25:52 pm
We lose our magma if we do that, so no.

Wouldn't it turn the whole world into magma and make it spread out into the far reaches of space?
And if we made an obsidian safety capsule, we could magmafy OTHER planets!

...And so begins the conquest of the dwarven empire.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wimopy on October 27, 2011, 11:28:51 am
Quote from: Necro910 on October 27, 2011, 11:20:52 am
Quote from: Wimopy on October 27, 2011, 11:17:37 am
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 26, 2011, 08:25:52 pm
We lose our magma if we do that, so no.

Wouldn't it turn the whole world into magma and make it spread out into the far reaches of space?
And if we made an obsidian safety capsule, we could magmafy OTHER planets!

...And so begins the conquest of the dwarven empire.

Humans and their spaceships... Just put an obsidian top on the volcano and start building pressure... or simply detonate a few cats at the bottom of the rocket. Also, getting kicked by a BC usually has the same effect.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Necro910 on October 27, 2011, 11:45:00 am
Quote from: Wimopy on October 27, 2011, 11:28:51 am
Quote from: Necro910 on October 27, 2011, 11:20:52 am
Quote from: Wimopy on October 27, 2011, 11:17:37 am
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 26, 2011, 08:25:52 pm
We lose our magma if we do that, so no.

Wouldn't it turn the whole world into magma and make it spread out into the far reaches of space?
And if we made an obsidian safety capsule, we could magmafy OTHER planets!

...And so begins the conquest of the dwarven empire.

Humans and their spaceships... Just put an obsidian top on the volcano and start building pressure... or simply detonate a few cats at the bottom of the rocket. Also, getting kicked by a BC usually has the same effect.
HIGH BEARD!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 27, 2011, 12:04:26 pm
High beard.. gentlemen. We have a new noble higher than the king..
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Wimopy on October 27, 2011, 12:36:04 pm
Quote from: Masked_Hunter1825 on October 27, 2011, 12:04:26 pm
High beard.. gentlemen. We have a new noble higher than the king..

No, but saying High Five would be slightly insulting to a dwarf who, when he raises his arm, can only reach his head..

They DO have beards that can reach twice-thrice the height of the dwarf. Now that IS high!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Johuotar on October 27, 2011, 03:12:53 pm
I'd kill kobolb if there'd be any.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: ASCIt on October 27, 2011, 03:21:28 pm
D'awwwww, a moody dwarf went mad and starved, and his body is laying/rotting in the meat stockpile, right? The war dog that I assigned him in life has been standing there, protecting the corpse. Even though his master's gone, he dutifully stays by his side...
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Loud Whispers on October 27, 2011, 10:20:46 pm
Quote from: ASCIt on October 27, 2011, 03:21:28 pm
D'awwwww, a moody dwarf went mad and starved, and his body is laying/rotting in the meat stockpile, right? The war dog that I assigned him in life has been standing there, protecting the corpse. Even though his master's gone, he dutifully stays by his side...

I once had a moody dwarf go insane, she had 4 war dogs assigned to her. They ripped her to pieces.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Frelus on October 30, 2011, 10:35:55 am
I like the 2nd version more than the first.
Also, for cleansing the 'bolds:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h67JpMyrOVE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h67JpMyrOVE)
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on November 25, 2011, 01:48:53 pm
What news do you bring, my kobold killing friends?
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Jessoftherocks on November 25, 2011, 04:34:51 pm
Well, I killed some in Adventure mode. But as they ambushed me I thought to myself "wait aren't kobolds broken" I was under the impression they die out during world generation. Have I found some sort of weird "glitch" or bug. I only ran the world history out to one hundred years. Any Ideas how they survived?
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 25, 2011, 05:11:46 pm
Quote from: Jessoftherocks on November 25, 2011, 04:34:51 pm
Well, I killed some in Adventure mode. But as they ambushed me I thought to myself "wait aren't kobolds broken" I was under the impression they die out during world generation. Have I found some sort of weird "glitch" or bug. I only ran the world history out to one hundred years. Any Ideas how they survived?

You obviously found a new species of smart kobold.

Way to go, you killed the only smart kobold's to have existed.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Delta Foxtrot on November 25, 2011, 05:12:36 pm
Quote from: Jessoftherocks on November 25, 2011, 04:34:51 pm
Well, I killed some in Adventure mode. But as they ambushed me I thought to myself "wait aren't kobolds broken" I was under the impression they die out during world generation. Have I found some sort of weird "glitch" or bug. I only ran the world history out to one hundred years. Any Ideas how they survived?

Kobolds are carnivores so they have to steal food from nearby civs to prevent starving. Doing this successfully, while possible, is highly unlikely. There was a thread in the past where few people came out and said they had worlds over ten years old with kobolds. Worldgen can be random like that.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on February 18, 2012, 08:42:15 am
I like kobolds. They provide a constant supply of delicious blood and undead companions in adventure mode.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: miauw62 on February 18, 2012, 09:01:28 am
Quote from: UltraValican on October 18, 2011, 06:53:51 pm
They killed my shogun and her husband while they slept
I shall give kobolds reason to fear the surface dwellers.

God, i read shotgun in the place of shogun.
XD
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Urist McScoopbeard on February 18, 2012, 09:28:43 am
wait, wait, wait...why don't we kill the kobold activists AND the kobolds??? killing two birds with one stone, eh?

"Any Kobolds shall be put to the sword.
Any found helping Kobolds shall be put to the sword.
Any found helping those helping Kobolds shall be put to the sword.
Any found related to those helping Kobolds shall be put to the sword.
Any found related to those helping those helping Kobolds shall be put to the sword.
Any found related to any of those previously mentioned shall be put the sword.
Any found put to the sword shall be put to the !!MAGMA!!"
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Aspgren on February 18, 2012, 09:40:24 am
Quote from: Urist McScoopbeard on February 18, 2012, 09:28:43 am
wait, wait, wait...why don't we kill the kobold activists AND the kobolds??? killing two birds with one stone, eh?

"Any Kobolds shall be put to the sword.
Any found helping Kobolds shall be put to the sword.
Any found helping those helping Kobolds shall be put to the sword.
Any found related to those helping Kobolds shall be put to the sword.
Any found related to those helping those helping Kobolds shall be put to the sword.
Any found related to any of those previously mentioned shall be put the sword.
Any found put to the sword shall be put to the !!MAGMA!!"

but i LIKE girlinhat ...
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Naryar on February 18, 2012, 10:58:48 am
Kobolds are pretty tough in adventure mode this version.

Especially kobold archers aaaargh
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: wierd on February 18, 2012, 11:05:03 am
I still can't help but see deranged fraggles whenever I try to picture a DF kobold.

Deranged, starving, crackmonkey type fraggles... with daggers.

Both cute and disturbing at the same time.  Personally, I catch them in cage traps whenever possible after setting the war dogs on them. I then use them for various experiments, such as magma trap testing... drowning trap testing.... seeing how well they survive being in a greenglass terarium in a chamber that gets flooded with magma... things like that.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: MadocComadrin on February 20, 2012, 06:34:38 am
Why can't Kobold haters and Kobold lovers just get along so we can concentrate on our common enemy--the elves!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Immacolata on February 20, 2012, 07:12:08 am
Yeah, +1 useless trivia accumulated instead of doing my job. I even got so far as to reading the entire background story on the KnowyourMeme site because of that. Sheez, tread lightly when entering bay12forums... you might see stuff you shall never again forget.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: miauw62 on March 18, 2012, 04:48:06 am
Quote from: Immacolata on February 20, 2012, 07:12:08 am
Yeah, +1 useless trivia accumulated instead of doing my job. I even got so far as to reading the entire background story on the KnowyourMeme site because of that. Sheez, tread lightly when entering bay12forums... you might see stuff you shall never again forget.
But thats not always bad :D
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Naryar on March 18, 2012, 04:54:19 am
Kobold slayers ! UNITE !
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: FrisianDude on March 18, 2012, 06:43:44 am
In my most recent fortress an arriving Dwarf caravan spotted a kobold who had snuck in. The kobold turned to run but one of the yak cows pulling the first wagon gored it in the brain.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: jaxy15 on March 18, 2012, 07:05:41 am
For every kobold supporting reply on this thread, I will brutally murder 4 kobolds.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Bilanthri on March 18, 2012, 02:53:29 pm
Reading through this thread has inspired me to set up what some might mistake as a kobold enclave within my dwarven society. But this is untrue...it will, in fact, be a concentration camp where kobolds will be kept alive for the purpose of creating a sub-race bred as slaves for the great dwarven empire.

Never again will your legendary miner have to risk kissing the magma when digging out a channel for the forges...send in a kobold with a copper pick and a stern farewell (i.e. kick to the ass to get him down the hole).
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Flying Dice on March 18, 2012, 02:54:50 pm
Long live the cutebolds! Rise up, scaly brothers and sisters, and throw off the yoke of Dwarven oppression!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Splint on March 18, 2012, 03:39:48 pm
Quote from: Flying Dice on March 18, 2012, 02:54:50 pm
Long live the cutebolds! Rise up, scaly brothers and sisters, and throw off the yoke of Dwarven oppression!

That's right. Come to my fortress and be sacrificed to Armok in my mighty volcano. Just like the last 4 kobolds who tried to "rise up" did.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Tastysaurus Rex on March 18, 2012, 03:53:49 pm
Eh, I've got a pair of the fuckers trapped so I might as well use them. If I can catch one of those blind cave ogres I know exactly how I'll do one.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: saltmummy626 on March 18, 2012, 06:03:58 pm
fed all my captive kobolds the the GDS. those cute little guys just get so much joy from tearing into the kobolds. you should see the way they fling the limbs around the front yard while they playfully poke them with their tails. my pets have fun.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Loud Whispers on March 18, 2012, 06:05:41 pm
If I'm not setting them free, I'm putting them at the top of my stockpile tower. For those in the know, I chuck animals and prisoners up there until they dodge off and *splat.* Beneath the tower is my bookkeeper - Splendid!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Sanctume on October 02, 2018, 01:46:54 pm
So I captured a pair of kobolds. 
Put a nest box in their dungeon, but they dont seem want to lay eggs. 

I also captured weresloth. 
I released a weresloth some hours before the fullmoon set, and into a circuit maze where the male kobold (named Chili) was bitten in the neck. 

Sure enough, blood spill on the stone floors--so the hatch to increase the circuit maze was unforbidded to give Chilli a chance to escape the human weresloth.  When the human transfored back to friendly, it was recaptured in a cage trap. 

Chili kept running wildly, and by next full moon, Chili is a weresloth thief. 

Chili probably comes from a cave, kobold civilization near the fortress.  Should Chili be freed back to the wild?
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Shonai_Dweller on October 02, 2018, 05:52:14 pm
Never too late to late to necro a useful, information packed thread such as "Kill a Kobold Month". 6.5 years in the ground and it's surely getting a bit wiffy by now though...
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Loud Whispers on October 02, 2018, 07:18:02 pm
Quote from: Shonai_Dweller on October 02, 2018, 05:52:14 pm
Never too late to late to necro a useful, information packed thread such as "Kill a Kobold Month". 6.5 years in the ground and it's surely getting a bit wiffy by now though...
I must say in the intervening time I've grown more sympathetic to Kobolds. I think not having any kids dagger stabbed by kobolds kept far outside of my burrows has lowered my kobold bloodlust. That: and cutebolds
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Dunamisdeos on October 02, 2018, 08:28:34 pm
I like kobolds. I've always liked them. Even if they steal me shinies, they are adventurous little fellows.

Even my FEELINGS for elves have begun to cool.

I'm just sort of mellow now.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: scourge728 on October 02, 2018, 09:15:00 pm
Kobolds are best bolds
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: fearlesslittletoaster on October 02, 2018, 10:13:08 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on October 02, 2018, 08:28:34 pm
I like kobolds. I've always liked them. Even if they steal me shinies, they are adventurous little fellows.

Even my FEELINGS for elves have begun to cool.

I'm just sort of mellow now.

Heretic.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Telgin on October 02, 2018, 11:18:10 pm
I was just considering playing as a modded kobold civ.  That would probably cause lots of kobolds to die this month like the last time I tried it.

Of course, as unprepared for the zombies as I was, dwarves wouldn't have fared any better.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: KittyTac on October 03, 2018, 12:13:56 am
Quote from: Telgin on October 02, 2018, 11:18:10 pm
I was just considering playing as a modded kobold civ.  That would probably cause lots of kobolds to die this month like the last time I tried it.

Of course, as unprepared for the zombies as I was, dwarves wouldn't have fared any better.
Do it! Playing as the kobolds is a lot more interesting now that you can send out thieves.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: George_Chickens on October 03, 2018, 12:15:35 am
99 kobolds of skulk on the wall!
99 kobolds of skulk!
Take one down into !!menacing spikes of slade!!
There'll be 98 kobolds of skulk on the wall!
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: wierd on October 03, 2018, 02:41:39 am
Kobold fortress.

The menu has a tiny number of options.

Designate sleeping areas
Gather food from outdoors
Send raiders
Attack targeted creature

No industry, no craftsdwarfship, nothing.
Hell, even the copper daggers have to be stolen!

The personality menu has a stark number of things that affect them-- Inability to steal being the highest.

Yes. I think that about covers it.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Hiarhu on October 03, 2018, 05:55:28 am
Quote from: fearlesslittletoaster on October 02, 2018, 10:13:08 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on October 02, 2018, 08:28:34 pm
I like kobolds. I've always liked them. Even if they steal me shinies, they are adventurous little fellows.

Even my FEELINGS for elves have begun to cool.

I'm just sort of mellow now.

Heretic.

Elves are alright. The whole tree worshiping cannibal thing is a cultural problem really. It's the elven civilizations and religion which must be washed from existence with the blood of the world. I have several highly useful elves in my fort who happily chop trees, wear steel, drink booze and slaughter goblins and their unenlightened kin with ease. They also seem to handle stress better than most of the other races and unlike my humans they don't drop like mayflies every spring.

Kobolds are awesome, tiny savage little creatures with sharp knives and glowing eyes lurking in the shadows looking for shiny things to steal and bones to eat. Freaking adorable. I've been conquering their caves in an effort to civilize them which I think I've technically succeded at as my civ has 59 kobold outcasts. We also accidentally slaughtered all the adults in one cave then took over from the three surviving children. A pity really I was mostly expelling a recently bitten by a weremammoth soldier that time...
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: scourge728 on October 03, 2018, 06:18:02 am
Quote from: wierd on October 03, 2018, 02:41:39 am
Kobold fortress.

The menu has a tiny number of options.

Designate sleeping areas
Gather food from outdoors
Send raiders
Attack targeted creature

No industry, no craftsdwarfship, nothing.
Hell, even the copper daggers have to be stolen!

The personality menu has a stark number of things that affect them-- Inability to steal being the highest.

Yes. I think that about covers it.
Wait, the game handles need to steal?
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: KittyTac on October 03, 2018, 06:32:13 am
Quote from: scourge728 on October 03, 2018, 06:18:02 am
Quote from: wierd on October 03, 2018, 02:41:39 am
Kobold fortress.

The menu has a tiny number of options.

Designate sleeping areas
Gather food from outdoors
Send raiders
Attack targeted creature

No industry, no craftsdwarfship, nothing.
Hell, even the copper daggers have to be stolen!

The personality menu has a stark number of things that affect them-- Inability to steal being the highest.

Yes. I think that about covers it.
Wait, the game handles need to steal?
Acquire Object, I think (or something along these lines).
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: George_Chickens on October 03, 2018, 08:29:11 am
In honor of this month, I stalked a group of kobold bandits back to their hideout and slaughtered them all in the night.  I hope to find their cave and slaughter many, many more.
Title: Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
Post by: Dunamisdeos on October 03, 2018, 12:51:18 pm
Quote from: Hiarhu on October 03, 2018, 05:55:28 am
Quote from: fearlesslittletoaster on October 02, 2018, 10:13:08 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on October 02, 2018, 08:28:34 pm
I like kobolds. I've always liked them. Even if they steal me shinies, they are adventurous little fellows.

Even my FEELINGS for elves have begun to cool.

I'm just sort of mellow now.

Heretic.

Elves are alright. The whole tree worshiping cannibal thing is a cultural problem really. It's the elven civilizations and religion which must be washed from existence with the blood of the world. I have several highly useful elves in my fort who happily chop trees, wear steel, drink booze and slaughter goblins and their unenlightened kin with ease. They also seem to handle stress better than most of the other races and unlike my humans they don't drop like mayflies every spring.

Kobolds are awesome, tiny savage little creatures with sharp knives and glowing eyes lurking in the shadows looking for shiny things to steal and bones to eat. Freaking adorable. I've been conquering their caves in an effort to civilize them which I think I've technically succeded at as my civ has 59 kobold outcasts. We also accidentally slaughtered all the adults in one cave then took over from the three surviving children. A pity really I was mostly expelling a recently bitten by a weremammoth soldier that time...

I like the cut of your jib.