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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2125172 times)

Langolier

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6840 on: August 09, 2012, 09:41:54 am »

Quote
Bit of story telling involved there but thats what I pieced together from the game basically.The vampire blamed another for the crime and because I was''nt aware of their ability to point the finger at someone else I killed an innocent dwarf.Next time i'll investigate a bit more carefully if there is only one witness.Should have read the wiki of sililar post re vampires before I acted

Ohh ok. Well that's still more in depth than I thought it would be. This game doesn't quit with the curve balls. Then I had yet another face-palm tonight when I realized you have to export a certain amount of wealth to get the baron (My current goal) and I've been neglecting the caravans. Got a ton of goods moved to the depot, but then a peasant corpse showed up at the fort and said "I hate every single one of you", demonstrating this statement by murdering my only appraiser. SON OF A BISCUIT!
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Mura

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6841 on: August 09, 2012, 11:21:13 am »

I'm getting immigrants with no skills whatsoever. None. Zip. Not even dabbling cheesemaker. And they don't have the excuse of being young, either.

To the military with 'em.
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I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Ruhn

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6842 on: August 09, 2012, 12:22:31 pm »

...I wouldn't be bothered if ANY OF THOSE LAZY PIECE OF CRAP DWARVES WOULD HAVE GAVE HIM WATER. I even had a 4 tile stockpile in his cell for booze, but no one brought any. I check my stockpile 2000 units of booze. So he dehydrated and died and ...
Was the tiny stockpile setup to pull booze from the main brewing stockpile?

SharpKris

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6843 on: August 09, 2012, 06:40:51 pm »

once upon a very long early time like year 5 or so there was a dwarf at the for of ShieldHall his name was .... Urist mcheesemaker....
some times every once in a while a dwarf with a love for shields would be possesed by undwarfy desires to make his dreams come true and so was created The Shield of fancy Declines... to later be found in the creators dead cold hands as the new vampire arrived.... who the fuck is he!?
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jesternario

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6844 on: August 10, 2012, 04:11:09 am »

Figuring out how to make memorial slabs. I kept looking in the mason workshop instead of the craftdwarf shop.
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You are never lost as long as you have a trusty and reliable Compass. Mine kept pointing North, so I just removed the red Needle! Problem solved!

Then I proceeded to pick up the rest of the bunnies, the masterfully crafted bronze statue, and its head. The head will be his trophy... But I need money.

gzoker

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6845 on: August 10, 2012, 07:16:37 am »

After many hours of fun and weregecko hunting my adventurer met his end. I was swimming happily through a small river scaring hippos and milkfish left and right when suddenly i started drowning. Not knowing the cause i panicked, and tried to get out of the river on the north side. Somehow i couldn't, so i headed for the other side. I still couldn't get out. Then i headed back north, and i did a few laps before i finally found out that i was under a bridge(#1). Sadly i was already dead then.
After this i went to sleep, and woke up with a cool fortress idea, so i embarked and started playing. Everything was fun, and in the second wave a high master armorsmith came to the fort, so i was happy. Then with the second spring came Urist Whatshisname a weregecko child. As a firm believer of Murphy's law, I instantly zoomed to my precious armormaker. He was fine, drinking from a keg in the still.
Relieved, i unpaused the game. The weregecko child was attacking Urist McWaxWorker, so all was fine.
Fast-forwarding a year, the third spring had a similar surprise. Umci ChanneledForest the Coastal Danger has come, and where is my Armorer? Right next to her. Damn I knew it.
I couldn't do anything to save him, but pray. Umci mauled her, tore off one of her leg, broke his arms, then left.
As i was sitting there, watching my CMD carrying my dieing armormaker to the hospital, i had a strange feeling. Somehow Umci the weregecko was familiar to me. Then I remembered. She was the night creature my late adventurer was heading for. And her lair was across the continent(#2).
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Cutting short the story, McArmorsmith was patched up, then turned into a were gecko, her clothes teleported outside of her room, she got miserable, then after six therapy sessions with Expedition Leader she went berserk, and her life ended with a pick to the brain...
After this everyone became unhappy. My Expedition Leader got shouted at so many times she went melancholy(#3).
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Supernerd

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6846 on: August 10, 2012, 04:38:34 pm »

Fun fact: If an aquifer is above you and you designate it as a stairway from below, the game will not give you any damp stone warning and water'll pour.
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You arrive at a mysterious castle filled with people whose statements are always false. Which one do you vote for?

Iosyn

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6847 on: August 10, 2012, 10:46:30 pm »


Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Weregeckos, bloody weregeckos everywhere.
See folks? they will hunt you down, no matter where your fort hides.
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Lolfail0009

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6848 on: August 11, 2012, 03:58:08 am »

New fort on a world that lost three adventurers in half an hour (long {not really} story).

Building a moat, la-dee-da...

Metalsmith swims through the river-fed moat and emerges on a one-square island that does not exist. My Metalsmith is standing on 7/7 water, with nothing under him, even on the next z-layer.

My metalsmith is officially Urist McJesus.  8)

Hanslanda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6849 on: August 11, 2012, 12:01:42 pm »

Urist McJesus: I make the water into booze! Holy shit, it worked? Um... What now guys? Oh, right, right. Ahem, I tame the dragons!
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Lolfail0009

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6850 on: August 12, 2012, 12:51:33 am »

I now have an Elf Merchant wandering in and out of my stone stockpile.

Elves are even S.M.R.T'er than dorfs :P


*Edit*

Ok, screw all these births!
« Last Edit: August 12, 2012, 01:10:36 am by Lolfail0009 »
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Lolfail0009

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6851 on: August 12, 2012, 01:58:28 am »

Ok, another post, more of a win this time:
My first werebeast, a Werecoyote, was seen by my pet Giant Cave Spider. So... yeah.

Bigheaded

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6852 on: August 12, 2012, 05:50:08 am »

Thinking the only way to view units labors/wounds etc was to go to the unit menu then press c/v? when you can just press v in the world map :/.
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Dear Urist McStockpileDrone
I just found a barrel which contained a wheelbarrow. Inside the wheelbarrow was another barrel. I don't even understand how that is possible.

Mageziya

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6853 on: August 12, 2012, 05:39:57 pm »

New fort on a world that lost three adventurers in half an hour (long {not really} story).

Building a moat, la-dee-da...

Metalsmith swims through the river-fed moat and emerges on a one-square island that does not exist. My Metalsmith is standing on 7/7 water, with nothing under him, even on the next z-layer.

My metalsmith is officially Urist McJesus.  8)

Ummm, how is that a face-palm?
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Every dwarf, every dwarven man, women, and child, that comes to our forts will die there; it's truly sad when you think about it. And we ask our selves, why? Why do we push forward, knowing this fate, that we are destined for failure? Because, this game grasps the concept of mortality. Some games you can never lose, but we all stop eventually, causing a 'death' to those game's 'worlds'. Dwarf Fortress gives us a definite end, knowing that we will leave that world eventually, and move on to more.

Lolfail0009

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6854 on: August 12, 2012, 05:53:22 pm »

His palm to the face of the blind carp.
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