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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1500223 times)

Morpha

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3720 on: June 04, 2012, 01:23:11 am »

Oh god, my vampire mayor has a liking for "raw adamantine". Since I've yet to strike the stuff, I dread him getting out of jail now.
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Quote from: Gerottomo on May 03, 2012, 04:34:11 pm
That should be a new type of project, making a rug design in dwarf fortress (With accurate coloring)
"And so, after many deaths and much sacrifice, someone turned their fortress into a fully functioning self aware carpet that actively sought after sources of fresh blood."

The Giant Bat who decided an axe made a better weapon than claws:
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108229.30

tahujdt

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3721 on: June 04, 2012, 08:46:30 am »

Oh god, my vampire mayor has a liking for "raw adamantine". Since I've yet to strike the stuff, I dread him getting out of jail now.

Nobles no longer mandate materials, just items.
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Morpha

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3722 on: June 04, 2012, 09:01:44 am »

Thought Barons could still mandate them, I know in .07? I had specific things mandated.


Dear Urist McDiplomat

The KING (queen actually) arrived. He (She) literally JUST arrived. Why would this cause "Diplomacy Stymied" the second I un-pause? More to the point, why the hell are you still here?
Also, nice to see you gave me the option to appoint a duke before this happened. Or a Count. Baron even. As it is, I'm still on "Mayor". The moment I find you, I'm going to do my best to stick you in with the vampire. I'm sure he wants to discuss why he's not a baron yet.
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Quote from: Gerottomo on May 03, 2012, 04:34:11 pm
That should be a new type of project, making a rug design in dwarf fortress (With accurate coloring)
"And so, after many deaths and much sacrifice, someone turned their fortress into a fully functioning self aware carpet that actively sought after sources of fresh blood."

The Giant Bat who decided an axe made a better weapon than claws:
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108229.30

tahujdt

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3723 on: June 04, 2012, 09:09:52 am »

Thought Barons could still mandate them, I know in .07? I had specific things mandated.
Mandates are different from demands. A baron can only mandate a low boot, but he can demand a green glass bed in his dining room, if he likes green glass. If the demand is not met, it will make him VERY unhappy, but he won't arrest anyone.
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DFBT the Dwarf: The only community podcast for Dwarf Fortress!
Tahu-R-TOA-1, Troubleshooter
Quote
I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?

Morpha

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3724 on: June 04, 2012, 09:16:49 am »

Ah yes, good to know. Any idea why my queen is stuck on the edge of the map even if I open the main gates? She won't budge, and the entourage isn't showing up despite being in Dwarf Therapist along with her husband (also can't find him anywhere, but can check him through relationship tab and shows mood etc like any other dwarf).

Edit: Vampire mayor won't leave the jail either! He's stuck with "fell tree" and won't move anywhere. At one point in his sentence I had him swapped to a different chain so maybe he bugged? I'm getting all the irritating bugs in this fort /cry
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Quote from: Gerottomo on May 03, 2012, 04:34:11 pm
That should be a new type of project, making a rug design in dwarf fortress (With accurate coloring)
"And so, after many deaths and much sacrifice, someone turned their fortress into a fully functioning self aware carpet that actively sought after sources of fresh blood."

The Giant Bat who decided an axe made a better weapon than claws:
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108229.30

NRDL

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3725 on: June 04, 2012, 09:20:25 am »

Dear Dwarves,

Stop taking so long in building the walls and floor next to the open space above lava.  I don't care if you have to climb down over a hundred z-levels of stairs, there are magma crabs throwing basalt.  We've already got one casualty, I don't wanna build my metal industry over a graveyard.

Sincerely,
NRDL
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
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snoopychicken

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3726 on: June 04, 2012, 09:27:04 am »

Dear Urist McWeaver(RIP) and Urist McWoodcutter of Papercrafts.

Sorry about the mix up, I had no idea asking you to deconstruct my scaffolding would cause you to fall off! Luckily both of you are loners so McWeaver, you didn't cause to much of a dent when you left us and McWoodcutter when you inevitably die due to the ineptitude of our medical staff no one will miss you.

With Regrets,
The X
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WillowLuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3727 on: June 04, 2012, 01:18:11 pm »

Dear Dwarves,

Why does it take so long to build a structure yet not to dig out a large expanse underground? It seems the exact inverse of how things usually work. Build faster!

Sincerely, You Don't Need to Know
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Williham

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3728 on: June 04, 2012, 09:01:08 pm »

Memo to the haulers of Lovelytunnels
Re: Drop chutes

It is inadvisable to stand at the bottom of a drop chute while it is in operation. As our dearly departed Siege Operator discovered, even if the chute is used to move cloth from the looms near the surface to the halls of industry, that's still a 20 urist drop. When taking into consideration the fact that cloth drops are regularly on the order of five hundred bales, danger to life and limb is severe.

If you DO find yourself beneath an active drop, do try to move out of the way, or you will find that your inattention will buy you a one-way ticket to a common burial plot.

Yours,
Overseer of Operations



Memo to all skilled staff of Lovelytunnels
Re: Yesterdays incident

Following the accident that cost one of our haulers their life, it has been decided that skilled staff is to cease all hauling, effective immediately. Losing a hauler is regrettable, but losing a legendary Weaponsmith is a tragedy.

As you seem to be cut from the same cloth as our haulers, I have little to no faith in your ability to avoid active drop zones.

Note: Wood Burners, Furnace Operators and Weavers may feel free to disregard this memo.

Yours,
Overseer of Operations
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Sus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3729 on: June 05, 2012, 04:45:41 am »

Dear Dwarves,

Unless it has dawned on you yet, the brook you are trying to drink from is currently frozen solid. That's why the water is all still and cold and hard-like. It's called ice. You cannot drink ice. The emergency reservoir that I ordered dug for this exact reason, however, is not frozen. (I do admit it may be a bit stagnant though.) That means you can drink from the reservoir. Please do so instead of getting your hairy little tongues stuck to the frozen river and dying of dehydration.

- The omniscient being of questionable benevolence that guides your destiny, a.k.a. Sus
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Dude_Jebawe

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3730 on: June 05, 2012, 11:46:17 am »

Dear military dwarves,

I see you have opted to drop your axes on the ground and instead punch the zombies in the face. Good luck with that.

Your sceptical overseer.
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ZzarkLinux

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3731 on: June 05, 2012, 12:07:11 pm »

Dear Additional Pond Grabbers of RabbitHut

The first Pond Grabber is still squatting in his pond, but I'm not too worried about him.
Worse-comes-to-worse, I can just cave-in on him.

But now you guys decide to show up.
And you are on the map edge, so I can't simply cave-in on your party.

I really don't feel like chunneling to magma just to obsidinize you all.
Please leave promptly.

Regards,
The Overseer
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krenshala

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3732 on: June 05, 2012, 04:35:32 pm »

Dear Dwarves,

Unless it has dawned on you yet, the brook you are trying to drink from is currently frozen solid. That's why the water is all still and cold and hard-like. It's called ice. You cannot drink ice. The emergency reservoir that I ordered dug for this exact reason, however, is not frozen. (I do admit it may be a bit stagnant though.) That means you can drink from the reservoir. Please do so instead of getting your hairy little tongues stuck to the frozen river and dying of dehydration.

- The omniscient being of questionable benevolence that guides your destiny, a.k.a. Sus
Have you built a well over it?  Or designated a water source (i > assign space > w) next to it that they can get to?
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Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
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WriterX

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3733 on: June 05, 2012, 05:00:24 pm »

Dear Urist McMayor,

  Seriously, what's with all the Floodgates? We do not need all of them, yet you keep asking for more. Do you want them all installed in your office or something? Drop me a hint.

Sincerely,

The Overseer
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Jake

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3734 on: June 05, 2012, 05:20:23 pm »

Dear military dwarves,

I see you have opted to drop your axes on the ground and instead punch the zombies in the face. Good luck with that.

Your sceptical overseer.

Dear overseer,

Every time we cut a bit off it reanimates on its own! These poxy things are bad enough when they're mostly intact, but twenty different bits of the buggers coming after you all at once is just bloody creepy.

Can we form a squad or two armed with hammers so we can just punt them into the magma or something?

Your beleaguered militia.

Dear Urist McMayor,

  Seriously, what's with all the Floodgates? We do not need all of them, yet you keep asking for more. Do you want them all installed in your office or something? Drop me a hint.

Sincerely,

The Overseer

Would you rather he mandated aluminium items or something?
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Never used Dwarf Therapist, mods or tilesets in all the years I've been playing.
I think Toady's confusing interface better simulates the experience of a bunch of disorganised drunken dwarves running a fort.

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