Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 19, 2010, 09:11:54 pm
August 19, 2010 - November 6, 2011
1 year, 2 months, 18 days
Holy shit guys.
But yes, it's down to thisSpoiler (click to show/hide)
On the plus side, the loyalty cascade is no longer a prime concern.
Did we just made reality itself commit suicide?
Before I begin the introduction, I must first recount to you the tale of Battlefailed (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=57052.0). Seventeen years ago, Her Humanity Led Shakeoars, queen of The Sword of Boots, grew tired of the company of dwarves, and sent seven of our kind to establish a dwarven colony in the Plains of Ooze where it bordered the terrible Blueness of Malodors. This fortress, named "Battlefailed," saw much life in the next sixteen years... but far more death. Last year the dwarven caravan arrived and was ambushed by kobolds before even reaching the gates. This was taken as a sign that the fortress had either fallen or been abandoned, as no living fortress would tolerate the existence of such petty scum. A followup expedition later confirmed the deaths of everyone in the fortress. Thus was the fortress of Battlefailed considered lost. If the rumors are to be believed, their fate was far worse than mere goblins or wildlife.
Our Goal
We have been sent by Her Bitchiness the Queen to succeed where Battlefailed, well, failed. We are to build a fortress near the ruins, to remind the world that we dwarves do not surrender, and that we will persevere. There was also something about getting out of the Queen's sight and dying in the wilderness, but that's normal for her...
The Site:
I have found a suitable site for our new city, about a day's travel north of the ruins. Its location is marked on the enclosed map.
(http://img576.imageshack.us/img576/9501/failcannonsite.png)
I invite you to join the fortress of Ungègugath, "FailCannon" in the common tongue, and help remake history.
Pre-Failday Save (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=5151) (about three seconds before the apocalypse)
Aluonra's final save. (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=5174)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 19, 2010, 09:13:33 pm
1. Urist Imiknorris 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1500045#msg1500045) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1502031#msg1502031) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1513094#msg1513094)
2. Mekboy 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1515956#msg1515956) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1520967#msg1520967) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1523725#msg1523725) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1528901#msg1528901) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1528930#msg1528930)
3. Lupusater 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1545871#msg1545871) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1553760#msg1553760) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1564940#msg1564940)
4. Lucus Casius 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1577813#msg1577813) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1582891#msg1582891) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1601551#msg1601551) Gave up partway through.
5. Cappstv1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1610380#msg1610380) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1610878#msg1610878) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1616114#msg1616114) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1618740#msg1618740) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1626161#msg1626161) 6 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1631880#msg1631880) Failcannon has been struck down or not; cappstv rewinds time, fixes bad future 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1633909#msg1633909) 6 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1639186#msg1639186)
6. Glacial 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1648210#msg1648210) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1653026#msg1653026) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1653110#msg1653110)
7. Oglokoog 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1663398#msg1663398) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1663637#msg1663637) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1667752#msg1667752)
8. LordSlowpoke 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1683515#msg1683515) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1706714#msg1706714) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1720243#msg1720243) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1740023#msg1740023)
9. Nat 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1763548#msg1763548)
10. SethCreiyd 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1791923#msg1791923) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1796569#msg1796569) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1797293#msg1797293) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1798509#msg1798509) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1800826#msg1800826) 6 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1801288#msg1801288) 7 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1803229#msg1803229) Bad Future Rewind 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1804632#msg1804632)
11. Robocorn 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1843893#msg1843893) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1845636#msg1845636) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1852227#msg1852227) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1858907#msg1858907) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1859972#msg1859972)
12. DuckThatQuacks 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1983760#msg1983760) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1987352#msg1987352) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2009804#msg2009804) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2016409#msg2016409) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2021665#msg2021665)
13. Dariush 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2039050#msg2039050) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2041767#msg2041767) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2042200#msg2042200) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2044911#msg2044911) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2045106#msg2045106) 6 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2047931#msg2047931) 7 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2048652#msg2048652) 8 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2048664#msg2048664) 9 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2051514#msg2051514) The revenge of the aquifer has begun
14. Urist Imiknorris 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2075675#msg2075675) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2080101#msg2080101) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2088428#msg2088428) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2091282#msg2091282) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2092682#msg2092682) Screwed around, flooded stuff, unflooded stuff.
15. LordSlowpoke 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2101627#msg2101627) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2104387#msg2104387) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2105095#msg2105095) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2108099#msg2108099) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2113649#msg2113649) 6 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2120194#msg2120194)
16. Takuanuva 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2147702#msg2147702) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2156396#msg2156396) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2160111#msg2160111) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php? topic=64258.msg2191919#msg2191919) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2244696#msg2244696)
17. Andreus 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2338835#msg2338835) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2338897#msg2338897) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2339960#msg2339960) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2341458#msg2341458) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2341482#msg2341482) 6 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2341609#msg2341609) 7 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2344502#msg2344502) 8 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2347648#msg2347648) 9 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2348081#msg2348081)
18. SethCreiyd 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2431568#msg2431568) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2436062#msg2436062) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2443114#msg2443114) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2452785#msg2452785) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2457169#msg2457169) 6 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2463601#msg2463601) 7 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2466891#msg2466891) 8 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2469741#msg2469741) 9 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2472198#msg2472198)
19. CatalystParadox 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2505452#msg2505452) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2508048#msg2508048) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2508546#msg2508546) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2510303#msg2510303) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2511039#msg2511039) 6 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2516505#msg2516505) 7 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2523670#msg2523670) 8 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2535305#msg2535305) Fortress implodes in a loyalty cascade; still not dead
20. Darvi 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2551408#msg2551408) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2564980#msg2564980) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2588709#msg2588709) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2591122#msg2591122) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2597861#msg2597861) 6 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2599446#msg2599446) 7 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2609213#msg2609213) 8 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2614211#msg2614211)
21. Dariush Played for 4 1/2 months or so. No updates per se, just start reading here (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2616488#msg2616488).
22. arcangelsd Bunch of small updates for the most part, start reading here (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2618527#msg2618527). Final update here (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2652857#msg2652857) after hiatus.
23. Eric Blank 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2663016#msg2663016) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2664376#msg2664376) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2665678#msg2665678) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2666635#msg2666635) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2669488#msg2669488) 6 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2669674#msg2669674) 7 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2671837#msg2671837) Catalyst the Insane, dwarven revolter, dies.
24. Deathsword 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2675227#msg2675227) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2675465#msg2675465) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2691758#msg2691758) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2709741#msg2709741) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2709861#msg2709861) 6 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2719076#msg2719076) 7 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2734491#msg2734491) Lever pulled. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2738872#msg2738872)
25. Johuotar
26. Mormota
27. Strategia
28. Sinpwn
29. gamewizardinnc
30. The Master
31. Dariush
32. Darvi
33. Ieb
34. Mego
35. Gizogin
SPECIAL: SethCreiyd tells of the goings on of the gods 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1501884#msg1501884) 2 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1552821#msg1552821) 3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1574236#msg1574236) 4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1613999#msg1613999) 5 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1657374#msg1657374) 6 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg1734575#msg1734575)
BATTLEFAILED 3: HELLCANNON (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=96005.0)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 19, 2010, 09:13:50 pm
Mipe - soldier, custom profession "Dancing Dagger"
Mountain-King - soap maker
nonobots
frozen
LAAT- Mechanic
Gor (♂), Moxie (♀) - glassworker
Vee - soldier, cleaning job only
MacDuggan - engraver
ArcaneSaint - boring job
MadJax - soldier
Elt - soldier
Gilgameshclone - child
Zathel
Thatdude - soldier/worker
Sprout - pref. medical dwarf
Draconik - Insane Architect (Mason/Carpenter/Architect/Alchemist)
Twobeard - miner/brewer (or smith/brewer)
Xenos - farmer or glassmaker
Gronchbag - soldier (preferably axedwarf)
Xellas - mechanic or doctor
ArcaneSaint - low-risk, preferably doctor
The Real Mekboy (Mekboy)
Pyromaniac (Flagrarus)
LucusCasius - profession: Third Hand
FelcisTheMaddwarf - ranger/leatherworker
Cappstv II - ♂
TerrisH - something safe
Grath - Wrestler, profession "Arrow catcher"
Lupusater - metalsmith
Cheese
hellbored
Tupu - soldier
Grov - alchemist
EmeraldWind
Dariush II - awesome soldier
Poet
Neotemplar - something that involves death by hostile creatures
Megaman3321 - Soldier, profession: PAINBRINGER
Frosty_Dorf - Mason, engineer, and/or metalsmith, profession: Engineer
Takua - engraver (The Chronicler)
Scaraban - Soldier (preferably with an adamantine pick)
Dete - smith or soldier
Greader - any, preferably mason
Zeocin
Filthywalrus - fattest available dwarf
Urist McLost - preferably mechanic
Elth - preferably male cheesemaker
Eric Blank
ignatzami - Iggy, male, peasant
Deathsword - swordsdwarf/butcher
Tale - someone useless or absurd
Ledi III- crazy cat lady (must like cats)
Strategia - cheesemaker, and let his death be violent.
Elderont - blacksmith
Correctedsun
Sinpwn - profession: Wolpertingerer
Norngremlin - swordsdwarf/weaponsmith
ThatAussieDwarf
Michael_Almeida - male axedwarf/woodcutter, profession boozedorf
BrilTheGnome - either an engineer, profession "Steampunk" or swordsdwarf, profession "Mr. Soul Reaper"
Karakzon
Kaamanen - military dwarf, preferably male and with few friends
Mormota - soldier
Seraphin - male speardwarf, profession "Homicidal Poker"
Savi
Gizogin - builder of some sort, profession "Dark Wizard"
rridgway - profession "Livery Deliverer"
Mego - male, profession "Mad Scientist"
(everyone on turn list without a dwarf)
Latest incarnation of Andreus*: Andreus XI, Ageless Wizard
*Every time Andreus is redorfed, post his new title so we can keep track of him.
Post by: Lucus Casius on August 19, 2010, 10:46:42 pm
Post by: LordSlowpoke on August 20, 2010, 04:18:10 am
Post by: Nat on August 20, 2010, 05:00:27 am
Post by: Pisano on August 20, 2010, 05:28:41 am
Post by: Mekboy on August 20, 2010, 05:51:00 am
That means that:
a. It shouldn't be too messed up (haha, battlefailed not messed up)
b. No FPS death!
Post by: NightmareBros on August 20, 2010, 07:39:06 am
Post by: Lupusater on August 20, 2010, 07:45:37 am
Post by: Andreus on August 20, 2010, 09:42:18 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 20, 2010, 09:49:54 am
For everyone:
Skills?
EDIT: Everybody with a ? next to their name has been sent a confirmation message.
Post by: Andreus on August 20, 2010, 10:24:03 am
Post by: Glacial on August 20, 2010, 10:51:18 am
Post by: Mekboy on August 20, 2010, 11:40:01 am
Post by: TurkeyXIII on August 20, 2010, 11:45:32 am
Post by: mipe9 on August 20, 2010, 11:57:17 am
Post by: Felcis on August 20, 2010, 12:21:01 pm
I´d like to get dorfed with the starting seven, if there is still room.
FelcisGreenshirt: +5 Mason (or Blacksmith or FunaceOperator, whatever is needed more), +3 Plant Gathering (could be useful early on), +2 Dodger (for survival while gathering *coughs*)
I´d also be happy with later dorfing, regardless of skillset (fisherdwarf preferred).
I´m thinking about playing a turn later on, but atm I´m not sure about my freetime in the next weeks.
Post by: Keita on August 20, 2010, 12:37:05 pm
Post by: Lucus Casius on August 20, 2010, 12:37:50 pm
Post by: Dariush on August 20, 2010, 02:02:27 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on August 20, 2010, 02:36:28 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 20, 2010, 02:55:22 pm
A dwarf who calls himself Andreus has gathered the six of us to go with him on a mission to tame the Blueness of Malodors.
Spoiler: Andreus V (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Urist the Red (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: FelcisGreenshirt (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Turkey XIV (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Spanner (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Glacial (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Equipment (click to show/hide)
He claims to have some experience in dealing with this type of environment, but I doubt his words.
Spoiler: We arrive. (click to show/hide)
This is a terrible place.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The "beach" is naught but rock and most of the surface vegetation is dead. I feel this dwarf will be the death of us all, bringing us to a place such as this.
2nd Granite
Andreus told me today that I was in charge of "setting up" our new home, whatever that means. I asked him where my pick was and he pointed to a lump of copper ore in the wagon. Asshole. I told Felcis and Turkey to set up a smelter and Spanner volunteered to man it. We have some tin so we can make bronze, and there's a horn silver boulder underneath one of the wine barrels, so Spanner can have a nice heavy hammer.
1st Slate
Spanner and I have carved out a small area underground to serve as a makeshift dormitory/dining room. Currently we're setting up a bridge over the entrance. We're also digging out an area for farming, which we'll flood from the ocean via lever-linked door.
The fishing seems to be good.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
20th Slate
Imagine if you would that the expedition's overseer went down to the farming area with a pick and a determined expression. You hear a door open, and a dwarf mining. You fall asleep.
When you wake up, you see the overseer standing next to your bed, completely drenched in water from head to toe. He tells you that the farming area no longer needs flooding. This is what Turkey XIV experienced.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dermonster on August 20, 2010, 03:00:33 pm
If not, Ill take a peasent called 'Derm' With a Custom proffession of 'Multitasker'
His labors: EVERYTHING except woodcutting, fishing, and hauling.
Jack of all trades, master of none!
Post by: Robocorn on August 20, 2010, 03:48:14 pm
I'm a moron who forgot about water pressure and had to swim out of the farms. The farm area must now be drained instead of flooded. :-\ Perhaps we can drain it into another farming room (or two).Spoiler (click to show/hide)
That same thing happened in the first turn of Battlefailed. This is a sign we're not learning from our mistakes. A harbinger of fun to come.
Post by: NightmareBros on August 20, 2010, 03:51:07 pm
I am dissapoint - BUT NOT FOR LONG
for I repeat my request for dorfage, when you get migrants. Any dorf will do.
Post by: dragonshardz on August 20, 2010, 04:08:18 pm
Also, I'll take the unnamed planter for dorfage. Hopefully this guy survives until my turn. It'd be nice if the fort did as well.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 20, 2010, 04:08:18 pm
Post by: Pisano on August 20, 2010, 05:32:00 pm
Post by: Nat on August 20, 2010, 08:51:32 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on August 21, 2010, 12:53:52 am
Post by: dragonshardz on August 21, 2010, 02:27:01 am
Post by: Andreus on August 21, 2010, 02:40:36 am
Once again, I return from the endless void... I could have used a better host than this snaggletoothed old crone, but hopefully that won't be an issue soon. The others did not believe me when I said I had experience with this place - I've had enough experience with this place for a lifetime. Four lifetimes. Once, killed by slavering, undead monsters. Once, by drowning in the blueness. Once, by... heck, even I can't remember - and once, to that vile creature Stuzang.
Stuzang. That creature worries me. Such a powerful abomination should not exist in this world, yet there it was. Battlefailed fell to its monstrous wrath. The walls of reality are slowly collapsing, and I must discover why. The incompetent gods of this world blame my constant reincarnation, yet this body-hopping is a technique I have used so many dozens of times across so many worlds that I forget exactly how many faces I've worn - why should it begin to cause an erosion of the doors between the worlds now? I fear something far more sinister than myself is at work here.
Battlefailed drew trouble to it like a magnet - there was no monster that did not eventually find its way to our door. What is hidden beneath the Plains of Ooze that is so valuable?
Post by: Oglokoog on August 21, 2010, 07:47:38 am
Let's see how many Oglos there will be until my turn :D
Post by: melkorp on August 21, 2010, 08:06:16 am
Post by: SethCreiyd on August 21, 2010, 09:42:33 am
This scream came from Lur the Jealous as he peered at the physical world from his All-seeing Tree, whose exposed heartwood displayed a phantasmal image of seven dwarves contemplating a newly-flooded section of farm-rock. He reached the length of his arm into the tree, passing through the woody trunk which rippled like a disturbed glass of milk. His fingers emerged clutching a bloodshot eyeball that pulsed like a beating heart.
Moving with deific speed, he was now in a grand chamber covered in symbols so secret only three mortals in the entire multiverse would recognize them. There were no doorways in any of the pillared walls, and in the center of the room was a long crystalline table surrounded by a number of comfortable-looking leather chairs, the exact number of which seemed to change with each passing instant. Lur threw the curious eyeball at the ceiling. The collision released a dazzling explosion of a color not possible to describe.
The other gods were already answering his mental summons. One by one the deities of Aluonra manifested themselves directly into the chairs, of which there were now several hundred, with some floating dozens of feet in the air, occupied or not. As there were no mortals present, there was no risk in driving anyone insane, so they were each in their true shape, formless but not without form.
"This had better be a public apology, Lur," said Kigok Pokercooks immediately, though it was less a statement than a congealed projection of annoyance.
Lur pointed skyward, and the gods' eyes all followed the seven dwarves now pictured on high. "What the hell is wrong with dwarves?" someone called out. It was Otik the Blueness of Flickers.
"What indeed," added Kigok, who was known to be an attention-seeker. "What needs to happen before they avoid such a place?"
"That," said Lur, while he continued to point and the ceiling took on the appearance of a bald dwarf with a tiny nose, "is not who it should be. It's the Sorcerer, he's behind this. I don't know how he convinced them, but it looks like they're trying for a new settlement there."
"Not to mention the collapse of improbability," intoned Bengel, who was associated with lust and depravity.
"Oh, let's mention it!" cried out Kigok. "It's been a real thorn in my side."
"Shall we review?" Zimesh, whose followers envisioned him as a rotting corpse, pulled a scroll out of thin air and slid a long bony finger along the parchment, and sat up as his chair lifted high above the rest.
Lur protested. "Like I said a thousand and six times, that --"
"You resurrected a mortal who had been to the Lost Library." Zimesh gave Lur a stern glance.
"I figured he'd be off to the Abode of Unending Pleasure. I told him exactly how to find it!"
"A mortal already guilty of bodysnatching. You sent him BACK to Aluonra with augmented knowledge when you FOUND him reading in the Library." This was supplied by Nifih the Pond Grabber, who never stopped smiling.
"Look, he needed to go back, to prevent the Conflict of Atrocities. It would have opened the Seal!" Lur had already explained all of this, and was growing impatient.
"It could have been closed again," glowered Egath Seasonlord, "but crumbling as it is now, it's almost useless. And what has already come out..." He trailed off, giving an involuntary shiver.
Anan the Cave Fish God spoke for the first time that century, "Given our last attempt to subdue the Sorcerer in Limbo, it's unlikely he'll return there by choice."
"It's not just him," added Limul, the Goddess of Metal. "Half of the dead and displaced aren't getting to Limbo either." The image on the ceiling flickered to show those lucky souls that found other worlds and bodies to possess, casting now-homeless souls to the aether. Those less fortunate were shown presently wandering the cavernous ruins of Battlefailed, halls of the earthbound damned, in monstrous bodies not fit for happiness.
"You messed up, Lur," said a young god named Thoth, who at six thousand years was barely old enough to speak.
"I know, I know," Lur held up a hand dismissively. "I'm sorry, alright? We can all blame me after we've fixed up the cosmos."
The other gods looked among themselves, then all of them looked back at Lur, who was suddenly pinged by the godly equivalent of nervousness.
"This has been a long time coming," said the hundreds of voices in chorus.
If Lur had a heart it would have been pounding. They had entered The Union without him. It meant only one thing.
Ar-en-ji, thought the gods loudly.
'I can explain,' Lur almost began, but thought better of it. "I can explain!" he said anyway, and marveled at saying precisely what he'd specifically decided not to say.
"Irrelevant. Your action's consequences cannot be ignored. Your fate is sealed." The eyes of the other gods were glowing yellow, brighter and louder until all the room was awash in golden light. Like an elongated thunderclap, a low rumble rose up from the floor.
"Your actions have condemned the innocent and undermined existence. Your mistakes will be fixed for you. You are stripped of godhood, Lur Thiefwitch. Go now and live as one of the mortals you have doomed to extinction." The gods all raised their arms at once. There was a bolt of lightning, a cloud of smoke, and Lur Thiefwitch was gone. The light of the room faded as the eyes of the Gods faded to black. The eyeball fell out of the ceiling with a wet noise and shattered on the ground. The pieces boiled away into nothingness. The room was quiet.
Her face grim, Kigok rose out of her chair. "We must contact the other worlds. And figure out what we can do."
Post by: cappstv on August 21, 2010, 10:09:44 am
Also I have big plans for FailCannon! HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA, BIG PLANS INDEED!
Post by: Robocorn on August 21, 2010, 10:53:33 am
Once, by... heck, even I can't remember -
Lung Failure caused by a shit-monster's deadly vapors
Post by: Mountain-King on August 21, 2010, 11:01:06 am
EDIT: also, dwarf me as a soap maker if you get any.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 21, 2010, 11:27:42 am
Some migrants have arrived.
Melkorp, a wood burner/cook
NightmareBros, a butcher
Derm, a planter by trade, but seems to want to do everything
Mipe, a soldier
Mekboy, a (high master) glassmaker
Dariush, a cook with a knack for weaponsmithing
Pisano, a milker who wants to try masonry and has some armoring skill
Nat, a useless novice potash maker
I also found out that our farmer's name is Lupusater.
2nd Sandstone
Mipe died of thirst today. Apparently he decided to stay outside when the gate was closed. He will not be missed.
Andreus decided to tell me about a method of making bones into blocks. I told him this would be useful when we actually get to kill things. He pointed to the animals that the migrants had brought with them and told me to butcher the mule foal and the cow calf. I told Derm to get to work. I can see a thriving horse bone block industry in the far future.
21st Sandstone
More migrants:
cappstv, a fish dissector
LordSlowpoke, a bowyer
Oglokoog, a stoneworker
Lucus Casius, a fisherdwarf (our new chief medical dwarf)
dragonshardz, a metalsmith
17th Timber
The liaison and caravan have come at last. We traded some stone mugs for a rope, booze, and food. Andreus met with the liaison and ordered copper bars (I don't know why, I think he likes copper) and booze.
Post by: breadbocks on August 21, 2010, 01:39:22 pm
Post by: Flagrarus on August 21, 2010, 03:24:34 pm
Post by: Zathel on August 21, 2010, 05:08:42 pm
Post by: nonobots on August 21, 2010, 06:14:56 pm
While I'm at it, please dwarf me as Nonobots, miner/mechanics!
Post by: frozen on August 21, 2010, 08:23:45 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 23, 2010, 06:39:02 pm
Post by: LAAT501legion on August 24, 2010, 01:15:38 pm
Post by: dragonshardz on August 24, 2010, 08:40:09 pm
Post by: Flagrarus on August 24, 2010, 09:55:34 pm
And when he dies, LAAT/i, LAAT/ii, and so on.That wasn't even your...oh, nevermind.
Post by: LAAT501legion on August 25, 2010, 12:36:40 am
And when he dies, LAAT/i, LAAT/ii, and so on.Yes 8)
Post by: ArcaneSaint on August 25, 2010, 01:40:58 pm
Quote from: SethCreiyd
There was a bolt of lightning, a cloud of smoke, and Lur Thiefwitch was gone.So are you gonna make a habit of killing a god at the beginning of every new Battlefailed? Just make sure you don't run out of them :D
btw, I'd like to be dorfed too: any dwarf with Diagnostician skills (Chief Medical Dorf) or a Bookkeeper.
Maybe I'll take a turn too, sometime, but a combination of RL and inexperience (though the latter won't be noticed anyway by that time) prevents me from jumping on the sinking ship right now.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 25, 2010, 02:47:00 pm
20th Obsidian
We are preparing to move the meeting area further underground. I found a schematic (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=34407.0) for a waterfall-based misting device and am having the parts for the pumps made now. There will be one change to the design - the gear assemblies will be suspended between the pumps and over the channels. A slightly less efficient design, but we still only need two windmills.
(Note: There are four holes on the surface for the windmills to connect with the gears - choose two and floor over the others)
1st Granite, 517
We've been here for a full year and haven't seen much excitement. Just undead horses and one dwarf too dumb to live. I'm entrusting the fortress (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=2997) to Mekboy and retiring. I'll be in the lower levels.
Post by: Mekboy on August 26, 2010, 05:20:23 am
Post by: bayar on August 26, 2010, 05:43:27 am
I'd like to claim a dorf. A glassworker. Gor if male, Moxie if female. His/hers dream is to either build a hospital out of glass for a clean and sterile enviroment where dorfs can heal in peace, either a very tall glass tower, in honor of Battlefailed.
Post by: V12US on August 26, 2010, 09:03:40 am
I don't really mind what profession I have, as long as it's dangerous, with high risks of bodily harm (that doesn't really narrow it down, I suppose). If we can give personalities, then my dwarf has an obsessive complsive disorder for cleaning.
Post by: ArcaneSaint on August 26, 2010, 12:58:30 pm
You guys had a fortress next to an ocean and no-one even tried turning the ocean into an obsidian fortress? How dare you call yourselves dwarves!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: MadJax on August 26, 2010, 01:14:54 pm
Also: Dorf request!
Name: MadJax
Prof: Military (Sword if possible, if not, just a military dorf :p)
Post by: LAAT501legion on August 26, 2010, 01:49:48 pm
I would like to be dorfed as a mechanic called LAATAlso a turn please
Post by: dragonshardz on August 26, 2010, 02:17:53 pm
Hmm, when reading the original Battlefailed I was kind of dissapointed.
You guys had a fortress next to an ocean and no-one even tried turning the ocean into an obsidian fortress? How dare you call yourselves dwarves!Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Water+magma = obsidian. Doesn't matter what type of water.
Post by: Mekboy on August 26, 2010, 03:09:47 pm
Post by: Robocorn on August 26, 2010, 03:41:55 pm
Hmm, when reading the original Battlefailed I was kind of dissapointed.
You guys had a fortress next to an ocean and no-one even tried turning the ocean into an obsidian fortress? How dare you call yourselves dwarves!Spoiler (click to show/hide)
We had trouble getting the magma to the surface, we were too busy dying and having our pump stacks broken and flooded.
Post by: Mekboy on August 26, 2010, 04:56:10 pm
THE HELL?
Where is anything? Where’s the mason’s workshops? And the mechanics? And the booze? Also, why’s no-one doing anything?
(http://a.imageshack.us/img842/9067/boat1.png)
I quickly sorted through the jobs, sorting them into two kinds of dorf: useful and not. The useful dorfs got ordered to do nothing but their best skills, and the useless ones got told to do everything else (hauling, wall build et.c.). Note to later leaders: set the profiles on any workshop you make to only lets good dorfs work there.
From what I understand, the leader had plans to set up some kinda mist generator in the meeting hall. Now I like a nice bit of sparkly mist as much as any dorf, so I happily continued his requests. I also found some weird room out in the sea.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img821/8899/boat3.png)
Neat. I’ll have it engraved and make it into my personal chambers. Probably extend it too.
I also found a rather confusing note.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img696/2625/boat2.png)
Evidently a lever of some kind once stood here, and was not supposed to be pulled. Ever. How boring.
In an attempt to make this fortress a little more organised, I made plans for a huge staircase to be dug, around which we could base our home.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img405/8948/boat4.png)
Even in this hellhole, apparently you can find some happiness. Turkey and Lupusater have gotten married. Luckily, they did not hold any celebration. Probably because we’ve got nowhere to celebrate.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img828/3839/boat5.png)
As if spurred on by this, our militia commander ‘Spanner’ and our armourer ‘Glacial’ also got married.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img299/654/boat6.png)
In preparation for the mist generator, I ordered somebody to empty buckets of water down a hole until we had sufficient water for it to run.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img842/2043/boat7.png)
Fuckwits couldn’t find anywhere to get water from. We live by the fucking seaside. How hard can it be to find some water?
Oh goody, migrants. A ton of useless idiots, and not one but two high master masons. Neat. Also of note was the oddly named ‘Vee’, an experienced hunter who I promptly put in the military (you wanted danger, and now you’re expected to protect Battlefailed. Have fun.) As other migrants ran around shitting themselves at the mere sight of a zombie ground hog, she shot it in the face.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img685/4231/boat8.png)
As soon as the migrants began to reach Failcannon itself, Glacial suddenly went mad. Speaking in a voice that was not his own, he demanded someone to build him a crafts workshop. The migrants’ first impression was some nutty dwarf demanding a workshop to be built. Welcome to fucking Failcannon.
At least he calmed down once we built him a workshop. He grabbed four pieces of gypsum and started working away feverishly.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img844/5475/boat9.png)
Also some random nobodies got married. But I don’t really care.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img839/6912/boat10.png)
What will Glacial make? Find out next time!
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 26, 2010, 11:24:27 pm
Quote
Evidently a lever of some kind once stood here, and was not supposed to be pulled. Ever. How boring.
Yup. The lever controlled the bridge that used to be between the room and the ocean. I removed the bridge and replaced it with a wall. Feel free to use that cobaltite mechanism for another flooding lever.
Post by: Dariush on August 27, 2010, 02:38:47 am
Post by: V12US on August 27, 2010, 03:09:44 am
I hope my dwarf will be able to bring in some meat that doesn't continue moving after it dies.
Post by: MadJax on August 27, 2010, 04:33:56 am
Post by: Nat on August 27, 2010, 04:38:01 am
Did you figure out that problem? Last time that happened to me, most of my dwarves got stuck outside for some reason after I designated a new water source right next to the old source, on the river. I couldn't even get them to go back inside after ordering them in with burrows... I think somehow I broke the pathfinding with my elaborate goblin-grinding maze.
Post by: Felcis on August 27, 2010, 05:02:13 pm
We seem to have a good amount of masons now. They can prove useful, once we begin building outdoor structures and megaprojects. :3
Hopefully the wildlife will be a bit more ferocious in the future. I don´t see any undead rampages as of now. But maybe they are still busy feeding on all the corpses and braaaaains in Battlefailed.
Also, I claim a turn later on. I think this will be fun, if the fortress survives that long. :D
Post by: Glacial on August 27, 2010, 05:18:02 pm
As if spurred on by this, our militia commander ‘Spanner’ and our armourer ‘Glacial’ also got married.
...
As soon as the migrants began to reach Failcannon itself, Glacial suddenly went mad. Speaking in a voice that was not his own, he demanded someone to build him a crafts workshop. The migrants’ first impression was some nutty dwarf demanding a workshop to be built. Welcome to fucking Failcannon.
At least he calmed down once we built him a workshop. He grabbed four pieces of gypsum and started working away feverishly.
This is not actually that unusual a response to getting married.
Woo hoo, I'm an overachiever!
Post by: mr. macduggan on August 27, 2010, 09:40:18 pm
Post by: Ledi on August 27, 2010, 10:44:39 pm
Ledi, female, preferably not in the military, who likes cats for their aloofness. Custom job - Crazy Cat Lady (can be any profession you want underneath that).
Why yes, I do like cats, and unlike other dwarves, not just in the stewpot.
If you don't have a female Crazy Cat Lady dwarf yet, that's okay, I'll wait. ^^
Post by: ArcaneSaint on August 28, 2010, 06:59:56 am
We had trouble getting the magma to the surface, we were too busy dying and having our pump stacks broken and flooded.Since when is that a valid reason to stop working? >:( Pathetic, real dwarves would continue even if they had to carry the last magma up 80 z-levels in ‼ashen bucket‼s!
Just kidding though :P. But in situations like the one in Battlefailed (naked, rotting, crazy dwarves and not-waterproof water-and-magma reservoirs) megaprojects should be approached with a different style of thinking. Namely: If we can't get the Magma to the Ocean, maybe we can get the Ocean to the Magma? Generally, "down" is easier than "up" right? Of course, you should start the flooding at the end of winter, so your successor is the one tasked with preventing the water from going "down" too much, resulting in the water going "almost anywhere"
I haven't been dorfed yet :( ? Really, any dwarf will do, as long as his job doesn't put him/me in any immediate danger.
Post by: TurkeyXIII on August 28, 2010, 09:37:00 am
megaprojects should be approached with a different style of thinking. Namely: If we can't get the Magma to the Ocean, maybe we can get the Ocean to the Magma? Generally, "down" is easier than "up" right?
Ah, but if you read the last few years of Battlefailed that's exactly what we did. Albeit not intentionally...
Post by: Mekboy on August 28, 2010, 04:22:15 pm
(http://a.imageshack.us/img801/7595/boat21.png)
Finally the idiots got to work. Ah, nothing like a nice cloud of mist.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img827/6413/boat22.png)
Wait, what’s that coming over the horizon?
(http://a.imageshack.us/img828/7093/boat23.png)
Elves. Bugger.
And a kobold ambush to go with them.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img547/5729/boat24.png)
Ordering the civilians inside, I had Spanner and Vee attack the kobolds.
You can do it, Spanner!
(http://a.imageshack.us/img153/4517/boat25.png)
Bugger.
Seeing this, I quickly ordered a handful of mooks no-one would miss to attack them with their bare hands. This went surprisingly well, with only one getting pincushioned, while the kobolds fled.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img836/9486/boat26.png)
And where was Vee the whole time? Asleep. Damnit, Vee.
Seeing that Glacial was now demanding cloth, I quickly rushed to the trade depot. I quickly haggled with the elves to get some booze, lots of wood and even a bin of cloth for Glacial in exchange for some spare mechanisms and some dead guy’s clothes. But the wait was too much.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img831/9200/boat27.png)
Not really Spanner’s day, is it? First he gets shot, then his spouse dies. Good thing we’ve got a baddass waterfall!
When will something good happen? Find out next time!
So that’s first failed mood and first dead named dorf. Two awards for me!
Post by: V12US on August 29, 2010, 03:32:58 am
Post by: ArcaneSaint on August 29, 2010, 04:17:44 am
Quote from: Mekboy
And where was Vee the whole time? Asleep. Damnit, Vee.Yeah, this is Battlefailed II alright. When something big is going on, our military's first reaction is to get some sleep.
Post by: Andreus on August 29, 2010, 06:25:54 am
Post by: MadJax on August 29, 2010, 09:33:24 am
OH MY GOD, WHAT DID YOU DO... AGAIN?!
Lived up to it's predecessor in a spectacularly fail-filled way.
Fan-fucking-tastic :D
Post by: Mekboy on August 29, 2010, 05:35:34 pm
--------------------------------------------
Bloody elves. Glacial goes insane in front of them, and what do they want?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The mountainhomes? This elf was obviously mad too! It might be infectious... Best get him to go away ASAP.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sure, why not. We can just ignore it if we need to.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Andreus managed to haggle him up to 122 trees. No point in needlessly annoying elves, no matter how hilarious it is.
Now, one of my more important goals as leader: get this industry sorted. On various levels on the staircase will be workshop areas, consisting of a large group of similar workshops and a stockpile for either what they need, or the products. This one here will probably be for stone furniture i.e. masons and mechanics.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Meanwhile Glacial, running around the hills of Failcannon in his insane state, ran into a skeletal horse. Needless to say, hilarity ensued.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Predictably, he had his head kicked in. But that meant that the skeletal menace would no longer be distracted, and Failcannon was missing half its army. Meh, it’ll go away if we ignore it.
Seeing as Spanner needed fresh water, I decided it was for the good of all of use to rebuild the pump. Only this time nearer the fort.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Anyway, seeing that I wasn’t doing much, I appointed myself manager of this place. Besides, I’m the only one who’ll understand the work orders.
Workshops churning out boring stuff like doors or block will be like this:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And ones where useful work is done will be like this:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And here’s the stone furniture level in all its glory (note how the workshops are colour coded, red for professionals, grey for part timers) :
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I think, for all my hard work here, I deserve a treat:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Also, some kid was just born.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Yay.
Work on the second workshop level is now underway. This time it’s carpentry.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Everything was going great, until...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
We quickly build a forge for him, and he got to work (you can also see in this picture our new statue garden. All the masons, including the 2 high master ones, are at work, and I put statues on repeat and forgot to turn it off. Andreus, you’ve got 4 statues in your room now.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Meanwhile, a skeletal groundhog was annoying some workers, so I sent Vee to go shoot it.
It collapsed after two shots, making up for Vee sleeping through our last hour of need.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Will this mood succeed? And will it be useful? Find out next time!
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 29, 2010, 06:03:57 pm
Post by: breadbocks on August 29, 2010, 06:30:34 pm
Yay! I'm glad I bought that zinc bar.WTF? On a like note, epic commercial line: "Ten thousand dollars YEAH!"
Post by: Robocorn on August 29, 2010, 06:31:10 pm
Post by: MadJax on August 29, 2010, 06:41:04 pm
Dorf: MadJax - Military (Pref swords but happy with any)
Post by: breadbocks on August 29, 2010, 06:42:11 pm
Post by: Robocorn on August 29, 2010, 07:07:31 pm
I request the Queen/King. Name him/her breadbocks.
Have you been reading this? The queen is an unplayable human who we've characterized as being a horrible racist and unrepentant bitch. We're Kind of invested in the name of Queen Led.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 29, 2010, 07:20:03 pm
Note to Twobeard, antymattar and Will Alvein: When your turn rolls around, you have 24 hours to speak up or get skipped.
Post by: Felcis on August 29, 2010, 08:39:12 pm
You shot the skelletal groundhogs? I thought undead are almost immune to bolts. But I guess such small beings just explode when hit by something only slightly bigger.
Post by: Dariush on August 30, 2010, 02:56:09 am
Post by: V12US on August 30, 2010, 07:08:04 am
I'll bet that most handsome dwarf called 'Vee' will last at least two more updates, before he meets his untimely, and undoubtedly most horrible demise.
Post by: SethCreiyd on August 30, 2010, 08:40:10 am
Too bad there's no way to get a glass window in that undersea house... or is there?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 30, 2010, 08:41:52 am
Post by: MadJax on August 30, 2010, 10:12:30 am
Before anyone calls this counter-productive and too silly to bother with atm, may I point out thi is Battlefailed successor? :p
Post by: Dariush on August 30, 2010, 10:50:00 am
Before anyone calls this counter-productive and too silly to bother with atm, may I point out thi is Dwarf Fortress? :pFix'd it for you ;)
Post by: NightmareBros on August 30, 2010, 10:51:18 am
This is Battlefailed 2! And we shall continue their great legends, just so Dwarves everywhere can say 'Battlefailed's succesor is an even worse fort than it's predecesor'!
Post by: Canalan on August 30, 2010, 10:58:28 am
Also, can I be dorfed please? Name (preferably) him Canalan, and can he be an engineer (siege professions, pump worker, mechanic, architect), or failing that, a crossbowdorf?
Post by: lt2p on August 30, 2010, 12:39:42 pm
Also, am I the only one who thinks we should dwarf Lur?
Post by: Mekboy on August 30, 2010, 02:51:02 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on August 30, 2010, 03:42:23 pm
Post by: MadJax on August 30, 2010, 04:42:25 pm
Yay! It begins! :D
Post by: Robocorn on August 30, 2010, 08:11:55 pm
I'm still waiting for Iddor Deerlies the Moist Grotto to show up.
Post by: Aik on August 30, 2010, 08:42:01 pm
Post by: V12US on August 31, 2010, 12:44:18 am
I've finished my turn now, and am just writing it up. We almost had a tantrum spiral when some dorfs were killed. And by some I mean about 8.
If I die, I'll never talk to you again.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on August 31, 2010, 06:31:20 am
I've finished my turn now, and am just writing it up. We almost had a tantrum spiral when some dorfs were killed. And by some I mean about 8.
If I die, I'll never talk to you again.
If I die, I will talk to you. Many times. When still a ghost.
Post by: Mekboy on August 31, 2010, 01:40:30 pm
Uh, yeah...I've finished my turn now, and am just writing it up. We almost had a tantrum spiral when some dorfs were killed. And by some I mean about 8.
If I die, I'll never talk to you again.
About that...
Post by: Andreus on August 31, 2010, 02:07:17 pm
Upon observation of my nightly stargaze, I have found something extremely disturbing.
No less than twenty three stars are missing from their ordained place in the sky.
What's worse? They are all stars from the constellation of the Thiefwitch, which is the God of Jealousy Lur's personal arrangement of stars in this reality. I cannot say for certain what this means, but there is no doubt that something disastrous has happened to him, for no god with any self-respect (of which Lur is somewhat lacking but by no means devoid) would ever allow his constellation to be defaced in such a manner if he had any say in the matter. While I've had dealings with Gods before, and am in many ways powerful enough to protect myself from their schemes, killing one is an entirely different matter. In all the three thousand years of my existence as a conscious being, I have never encounted a force powerful enough to even truly wound one, let alone destroy them... I fear that something truly terrible is happening to this universe.
I must try to contact Lur and see what has become of him.
... that is, if I can find my way out of my quarters with all these HELLS-DAMNED STATUES in the way!
Written later, in the same hand, but it appears less tidy, as if hurried:
I was wrong. The constellation is not entirely dead. Upon closer inspection, the star of Tu-Shar-Vo still glows dimly. Perhaps it is not too late.
Post by: Mekboy on August 31, 2010, 04:50:45 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So you made one glove. One glove. Genius you.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Yay, traders. At least the humans might have something approaching useful.
I gave them a ton of mechanisms and some random clothes lying around in exchange for loads of a food, some booze and a couple of extra picks.
To finish off the somewhat uneventful summer, I laid out my plans for a proper dining room.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
To keep myself busy, I also made myself bookkeeper.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
While digging the new dining room we encountered a slight problem.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Damnit, aquifier! Luckily no-one drowned, as I had the foresight to install doors.
Also, I noticed not much work was being done.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Naturally.
Ah well, it shows that they’re happy. To ensure this happiness continued, I had the statue garden engraved.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Seeing a couple of skeletal horses getting too close to the fort, I sent Vee out to deal with them.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Damnit, Vee!
The bridge was closed before both could get it, but now we’ve got one stuck in the trade depot. I’m having the trade depot door walled over before it breaks through.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
On a slightly more positive note, Spanner got better.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Another stroke of luck! No migrants.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I sent Spanner out, equipped with the new artefact to deal with the Skourse menace.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
DAMNIT, SPANNER! Is there no-one I can trust not to die? I even sent out a group of random workers to help you, and they wandered back unharmed. Damnit.
Post by: Mekboy on August 31, 2010, 05:02:08 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Soon afterwards, a dwaven caravan arrived. I closed the bridge after it arrived, then realised: Andreus and Urist were outside!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I ordered the horde of mooks after it, but it was too late.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I was forced to take over as broker (and sell Andreus’s clothes). At least Urist the Red escaped.
I think I gave him too much. I still got a ton of beer, food and metal bars.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Seeing as Failcannon was obviously inadequately defended, I laid out plans for a huge defensive wall.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I also ordered some of the cliff removed.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Damnit, Urist! This caused the rather disturbing sight of Nightmarebros throwing a tantrum. In his sleep.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I fear they may be a tantrum spiral. Cppstv even threw a tantrum during a meeting with me!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Derm got battered in a second cave-in.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
He was fine and got back to work.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A skeletal horse got in, and was ripped apart by the militia, but not without casualties.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And then Olin got possessed...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And made this:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
On a completely different note, why is the staircase covered in swamp whiskey roasts?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Some kobold thieves got in. LucusCaisius tried to stop them. Hilarity ensued.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
As my last legacy to Failcannon before I give up rulership, I made a lever. Read the notes before deciding whether to pull it.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So, a summary of the year:
Mist generator: worked, no-one died.
Workshop levels: worked, no-one died.
Dining room: didn’t work, no-one died.
Kill skeletal horses: sorta worked, quite a few died.
Build defensive wall: worked, 1 dead, 1 injured.
Artifacts: 2 worked, 1 didn’t, 1 dead.
Dead forum dorfs: Urist the Red, Spanner, Andreus V, Glacial, Mipe, Vee.
I now leave this in the capable(ish) hands of Twobeard.
EDIT: Here's the save: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3031 (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3031)
Post by: breadbocks on August 31, 2010, 06:20:22 pm
Pardon me while I express interest.Umm. Why aren't I on the turn list. This was on page-FUCKING-three. I better get put where I belong on the list. Along with everyone else in the thread. :-\
Post by: Mountain-King on August 31, 2010, 06:21:31 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So you made one glove. One glove. Genius you.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: MadJax on August 31, 2010, 06:22:06 pm
Post by: Lucus Casius on August 31, 2010, 06:55:42 pm
I'll be taking that, thank you very much.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 31, 2010, 07:53:56 pm
Pardon me while I express interest.Umm. Why aren't I on the turn list. This was on page-FUCKING-three. I better get put where I belong on the list. Along with everyone else in the thread. :-\
Try and make that more clear next time.
Post by: breadbocks on August 31, 2010, 08:16:17 pm
Post by: cappstv on August 31, 2010, 08:21:47 pm
the real cappstv was sleeping
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 31, 2010, 08:47:28 pm
Me and at least the person right under me said we were interested.Is that not enough?
In my head, that meant "posting to follow thread." Sorry.
Post by: Flagrarus on September 01, 2010, 01:15:43 am
It's fine, for me at least, as I doubt I'm going to have any time to play DF anytime soon :-\ Still, leave me on there and then I'll decide when my turn is a bit closer ( in the highly unlikely event we aren't all dead by then ).Me and at least the person right under me said we were interested.Is that not enough?
In my head, that meant "posting to follow thread." Sorry.
Post by: Mekboy on September 01, 2010, 01:18:49 pm
cppstv is my evil twinYou do realise you're not dead, don't you?
the real cappstv was sleeping
Post by: Glacial on September 01, 2010, 01:26:47 pm
Post by: cappstv on September 01, 2010, 04:26:26 pm
You do realize that I didn't said I was dead, don't you?cppstv is my evil twinYou do realise you're not dead, don't you?
the real cappstv was sleeping
Post by: Canalan on September 01, 2010, 06:29:31 pm
Sign me up for a turn, please! What could possibly go wrong?Anytime.
Also, can I be dorfed please? Name (preferably) him Canalan, and can he be an engineer (siege professions, pump worker, mechanic, architect), or failing that, a crossbowdorf?
Post by: Gilgameshclone on September 02, 2010, 12:28:26 am
whoever ends up with next I'd like to be Dorfed it possible, preferably an annoying child or somebody who organizes parties.
Post by: SethCreiyd on September 02, 2010, 10:56:45 am
Post by: Zathel on September 02, 2010, 11:43:58 am
Great turn, we're really following tradition here. The ecstatic traders should help replenish the population.
As long as they make it back to civilization alive.
Most traders that came to Battlefailed didn't have such luck.
Also, repeating my request to get dorfed as soon as possible.
Post by: Twobeard on September 02, 2010, 07:55:12 pm
Will try to keep in better contact from now on.
Let the next poor bastard on the list have a go. If there is room later on down the line i shall gleefully pick up my pick and crush some skulls.
Cheers
Twobeard
Post by: Scrippy on September 03, 2010, 09:10:54 am
Do you think I could be Dorfed in the next migrant wave? Preferrably a weaponsmith or armorer. Custom profession "Anvil Jockey" would be cool too.
Post by: NightmareBros on September 04, 2010, 04:22:17 pm
Or do we have to pass on to Lupusater?
Post by: Thatdude on September 05, 2010, 06:59:47 am
Post by: Andreus on September 05, 2010, 03:24:20 pm
Andreus VI, Constant Running Gag
Post by: Sprout on September 05, 2010, 06:06:38 pm
Post by: TurkeyXIII on September 05, 2010, 10:12:33 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 05, 2010, 10:16:32 pm
Post by: Lupusater on September 06, 2010, 04:55:32 am
Post by: Lupusater on September 07, 2010, 04:45:50 am
(http://s5.imagestime.com/out.php/i484859_Immagine.png) (http://www.imagestime.com/show.php/484859_Immagine.png.html)
First things first, the current staircase is being lowered another level and a shaft searching for caverns and magma will be dug.
(http://s5.imagestime.com/out.php/i484860_Immagine2.png) (http://www.imagestime.com/show.php/484860_Immagine2.png.html)
To combat the miasma problem, I've arranged for an outside landfill. It is inside the walls, so it shouldn't cause problems except for the zombie groundhogs, which were quickly and painlessly dealt with.
(http://s5.imagestime.com/out.php/i484861_immagine4.png) (http://www.imagestime.com/show.php/484861_immagine4.png.html)
Migrant wave! 18 dwarves, an accomplished miner, some smiths and little other. This brings our population to 51.
Found the first cavern layer and walled it off.
(http://s5.imagestime.com/out.php/i484862_Immagine5.png) (http://www.imagestime.com/show.php/484862_Immagine5.png.html)
A woodworker died of infection. Forgot to screenshot.
The hippies have come. And Mekboy the broker is sleeping. Typical, really. When he awoke, we traded mostly for cloth. The elves wanted to stop our tree-felling. Told'em to mind their own business.
Somewhat uneventfully, spring has ended. I am hoping for a more exciting rest of the year.
Post by: MercDraco on September 08, 2010, 08:02:37 am
Also Requesting Dwarf from next Migrant wave.
Name: Draconik
Gender: Don't Care
Title: Insane Architech (Mason/Carpenter/Architech/Alchemist
Because if one Body-hopping madman is destroying the World then having Two might save it =P (or just cause it to wilt away much faster)
Post by: Twobeard on September 08, 2010, 10:01:36 am
Mekboy, your turn was gold. Im sorry i couldnt follow it up with hilarity. Hopefully sometime in the near future i will start up a new fortress (possibly another pickless wooden wonder) If im feeling especially brave later, i might even try and run a pickless, axeless succession. Those kinds of forts are the most fun
Post by: Andreus on September 08, 2010, 10:07:46 am
I Think Lur Should get a Dwarf's Body and come here to get some good ol' fashion !!Revenge!! on Andreus.
Lur is entirely Seth's department. We collaborate on the fiction but I let him write all the dialogue for Lur, because he can do it so much better than me.
Post by: SethCreiyd on September 08, 2010, 01:35:03 pm
Post by: MercDraco on September 08, 2010, 06:58:08 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on September 09, 2010, 07:56:59 pm
A white-haired dwarf came over the hill with the corpse of a deer in one hand and a bloody rock in the other. He sang, in a voice like the smoke of a wagon after the canvas goes up in flames, as he walked along the well-trodden dirt that passed for Main Street in the ancient and venerable City of Graspedseduce.
Capital of Dastot Cog, framed by ancient goblin towers of pure obsidian, it was said to be the only city in the world with a constant hangover. Before rising to power, the elves and humans of the land had long since adopted the dwarven habit for drinking, which is to say it was preferred to water ten times out of ten and the children were born with a healthy appetite for it.
Dwarves seldom built taverns, since most dwarven fortresses are, in essence, great dusty taverns with overstocked pantries and excellent ale but nary a serving wench. Long ago, when Dastot Cot defeated the roving goblins and conquered Graspedseduce, the newly-freed humans needed a place to drink and address other bodily needs. Hence, the Inn of Seduction was built and disdained by most dwarves, who viewed the place as a grown man might view a child-sized gingerbread house.
Still, by local standards it was an upstanding establishment, with only a slight layer of grime on the cups and bedbugs that were relatively polite. One could find it filled with patrons at any hour of the day, and the old clock tower tolled the noon-o'-clock chime when a strange dwarf stepped into the tavern and gradually attracted the stares of everyone within. His beard was impeccably groomed, naked though he was aside from a few exceptionally hirsute patches of skin. Tracking mud with his bare feet, still carrying the expired buck, the stranger approached the bartender, who was presently squeezing a zit on his upper chin and wiping the goo on his trousers.
With a great heave, the stranger plopped the deer's carcass across the counter, the immediate effect being a bloody mess spilling onto the floor from the animal's mouth. A nearby elf looked scandalized. The stranger looked at the bartender with eyes dark as pitch. "Beer," the dwarf said hoarsely.
The barkeep looked at the fresh kill, figured it was worth at least a few silver in meat, and filled a flagon from the tap. He filled a mug and passed it to the naked dwarf, grabbed the deer by the antlers, and dragged it outside to the adjacent butchery. The dwarf dropped the bloodied stone on the ground and drank desperately from his cup, then threw it away in favor of drinking from the flagon directly.
It was only a matter of time before someone would strike conversation with such a novel fellow, and before long one of the Inn's more flamboyantly dressed customers approached the dwarf, who had already drained his pitcher and was reaching over the bar in order to fill it.
"Excuse me, sir," said the man, rather certain about that last bit. "My name is Estun, and I—"
"How do you work this?" the dwarf asked, fiddling with the keg tap. "Ah, there it goes."
"—Right," said Estun. Estun was a newly popular sort of doctor that specialized in the analysis and containment of psychotic dwarves. He was a Psycho Analyst.
"Anyway," Estun continued, "I—"
"Lur," the dwarf interrupted.
"—Pardon?" said Estun with a quizzical look. The dwarf finished another gulp and wiped his mouth with his arm.
"My name is Lur," the dwarf said gruffly while he leaned forward to fill another pitcher. "What do you want? I'm in no mood for parlance."
"Ah." Estun was still smiling. This type of rude behavior was common in his profession and he'd learned to react to it with practiced patience. "Well, Lur, I was wondering where you came from."
"A time before time, a space before space," said the dwarf, after guzzling his fourth draught. "I get three more, yeah?!" he shouted to the barkeep, who nodded back at him nervously.
"I see," said Estun, who was nodding for a different reason. "I was wondering, Lur, have you ever heard of Battlefailed?"
Lur started laughing into his drink. With a soggy beard, he turned to Estun and smiled, and said, "I've heard of it."
"Have you come from Battlefailed, Lur?"
Lur poured the last of the booze into his mouth and said, "No, Estun. I did not come from Battlefailed, Estun. In fact, you can stop talking to me anytime you see fit, Estun, because I'm not mad, and I didn't lose my clothing on purpose, and you are profoundly annoying."
Estun kept smiling. Lur the Dwarf stood up, leaving an aromatic smear of blood and sweat on the seat, and strode toward the door. "I'll be back with more food!" he announced to the tavern as he went, trying to remember where Graspedseduce kept its fashion district.
Post by: Zathel on September 10, 2010, 03:00:45 am
Post by: Lupusater on September 10, 2010, 03:59:08 am
(http://www.pchs.it/image-hosting/out.php/i43031_Immagine6.png)
Possessed blacksmith!
(http://www.pchs.it/image-hosting/out.php/i43032_Immagine7.png)
He is using a single bar of rose gold... better than have him going mad, I suppose.
(http://www.pchs.it/image-hosting/out.php/i43033_Immagine8.png)
(http://www.pchs.it/image-hosting/out.php/i43034_Immagine9.png)
Now I'm puzzled. Is some supernatural entity saying that we will need crutches in the near future? And over 50k dwarfbucks? Whoa.
A skorse killed a gem setter, but our soldiers quickly took care of him.
(http://www.pchs.it/image-hosting/out.php/i43035_Immagine10.png)
MAGMA! The warm blood of Armok! But it's 80-100 z-levels down, so...
I've provided the exploratory shaft with a safety bridge. The lever controlling it is properly noted and connected.
(http://www.pchs.it/image-hosting/out.php/i43036_Immagine11.png)
Since we now have a Mayor, I've arrranged for quarters to be built for him.
(http://www.pchs.it/image-hosting/out.php/i43037_Immagine12.png)
Human traders! And Mekboy is off drinking... When he satiated his thirst, we traded for food, booze, metal bars and all kinds of raw glass. Glass and metal are to be kept as a safeguard for moods requiring them.
And summer has ended too.
Post by: Oglokoog on September 10, 2010, 05:17:32 am
But to do something other than nagging, I quite enjoy Seth's writing (as does everyone). It's also nice that we've found magma, always a good thing :)
Post by: Andreus on September 10, 2010, 10:55:16 am
Post by: Lupusater on September 10, 2010, 02:15:23 pm
Lupus, have I been redorfed yet, and if so, as what? XDAndreus VI, constant running gag, former soapmaker.
Post by: Robocorn on September 11, 2010, 08:03:09 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 11, 2010, 08:33:38 pm
Post by: Oxinabox on September 14, 2010, 03:50:23 am
What is the rock layers present in Failcannon? ignious etc.
It would be nice to have a side view like the one that was made for battlefailed.
Post by: Lupusater on September 14, 2010, 09:06:23 am
(http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/1141/immagine13w.png) (http://www.freecodesource.com/image-hosting/view/img255/1141/immagine13w.png/)
(http://img213.imageshack.us/img213/1288/immagine14c.png) (http://www.freecodesource.com/image-hosting/view/img213/1288/immagine14c.png/)
Oh shit... Luckily the cavern layers are sealed off.
(http://img337.imageshack.us/img337/2840/immagine15g.png) (http://www.freecodesource.com/image-hosting/view/img337/2840/immagine15g.png/)
The second one in two seasons? I hope this one doesn't churn out something like a crystal glass splint...
He claimed a Mason's workshop and he is using two boulders of tetrahedrite and a cut rose quartz.
(http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/3748/immagine16p.png) (http://www.freecodesource.com/image-hosting/view/img299/3748/immagine16p.png/)
(http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/6066/immagine17l.png) (http://www.freecodesource.com/image-hosting/view/img299/6066/immagine17l.png/)
Niiice... The titan depicted here appears to be a local celebrity, since a good portion of the engravings here have him as a subject.
Since we are running out of stone, as strange as that may sound, the first part of the shaft will be expanded and become a full-fledged quarry, which doubled as a nice training for our miners.
The caravan from the mountainhomes has arrived! And Mekboy is out drinking and partying!
Why I'm not surprised? When he bothered to do his damn work, we traded for food and booze. Since we are quite well-off, I requested only wood and booze.
The mayor mandated that we make crossbows, and since this is a relatively sane request, and
we have a relatively skilled bowyer, I granted it. He is at risk though, he likes slade. He now stopped the export of crossbows.
(http://img338.imageshack.us/img338/7297/immagine18u.png) (http://www.freecodesource.com/image-hosting/view/img338/7297/immagine18u.png/)
I've created another workshop area, to be used for jewelers or whatever needs the space.
(http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/5739/immagine19o.png) (http://www.freecodesource.com/image-hosting/view/img299/5739/immagine19o.png/)
Another strange mood, the third this year! He seemed to want a craftsdwarf's workshop, so I built one and he promptly claimed it. He is using mica, cut claro opals, and rough cat's eyes.
Spring has come, and I've decided to retire from this extenuating role of Boss. It has been a good year, and I wish good luck to my successor.
Save here: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3110
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 14, 2010, 09:32:40 am
Post by: NightmareBros on September 14, 2010, 11:46:03 am
Great. It can probably be destroyed by throwing a rock at it.
Post by: Mekboy on September 14, 2010, 12:41:23 pm
"And now I'm partying"
"And now I'm going to sleep"
I have a certain skill for slacking off whenver actual work needs doing.
Post by: Oglokoog on September 14, 2010, 01:37:57 pm
Post by: Lucus Casius on September 14, 2010, 04:43:09 pm
Edit: Hold on, someone else try downloading it just for the sake of downloading it, and tell me what you get. Something seems a bit... odd.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 14, 2010, 07:19:30 pm
EDIT: About the lever in the statue garden - link it to something and then deconstruct the something. That way all three notes placed near it can be truthful.
Post by: Xenos on September 14, 2010, 09:38:27 pm
Post by: Lucus Casius on September 14, 2010, 09:42:30 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 14, 2010, 09:44:58 pm
Post by: Lucus Casius on September 14, 2010, 09:50:08 pm
...but it's late, so... first update will be tomorrow or the day after. Preferably tomorrow.
Post by: Mekboy on September 15, 2010, 10:59:42 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 15, 2010, 12:59:45 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on September 15, 2010, 02:07:48 pm
The rar file? You need to download a program to extract it. I recommend RAR Frog. (http://download.cnet.com/Free-RAR-Extract-Frog/3000-2250_4-10804840.html)Wait. What? What. I mean like... uh.
(I never had any idea that there actually are people who don't know what a rar file is)
Post by: Twobeard on September 16, 2010, 07:41:41 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 16, 2010, 07:48:03 am
Post by: NightmareBros on September 17, 2010, 08:34:43 am
I think we need to see if lucuis is going to post his update today, or something confirming his status with this, or we pass on to another guy.
Post by: derekiv on September 17, 2010, 11:52:52 am
Post by: barconis on September 17, 2010, 11:59:46 am
In all fairness, my introduction to rar files was on this forum.
Same here, I think. Anything other than .[t]gz and .zip is fairly exotic to me. WinZip opens pretty much everything though, so it's not something I worry about.
Post by: SethCreiyd on September 17, 2010, 03:11:53 pm
It began as a small ripple flowing out across the spacetime continuum, cleaving and doubling itself for every quantum mass it came upon, forking out for every bit of matter. In an instant, there were hundreds; in a few seconds, trillions. They were not so much ripples, by then, as they were a conglomerate wave of the myriad edges of Reality As It Was Known.
It reared about and towered over Aluonra, spreading into the sky like an invisible cancer. On the other side, things that resembled faces were taking shape: Hundreds strong, the parts of many beasts set in chimeric arrangement, howling madly beneath their astral veil. A plume of gray fire spat forth, and rising out of the ground where it struck came a titanic pillar of complete and utter blackness that blotted the sun from the sky. Its passing drew the earth beneath into the vacuum left behind.
It is said that approximately 1/100th of the multiverse's population is comprised of beings with the ken of magic. This includes wizards, warlocks, witches, sorcerers, psions, priests, gods, faeries, the enlightened, and the insane. They all looked into their respective skies, and in a rare moment of cross-dimensional unity, they each gasped as one.
It took only seconds. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=66142.msg1567657#msg1567657) The wave crashed.
Across the infinite times, massive tracts of land were ripped out of their planets and inverted, the soil tilling itself with geometric precision. Buildings were reduced to rubble. People of any age or race were thrown out into space as gravity worked out which way it should push.
In a forest at the edges of Graspedseduce, a dwarf clad only in deerskin and leather was tossed in the air to land in the lower branches of a tree. He yelled out a profanity as a current of wind whipped up from beneath and uprooted many of the smaller trees around. They circled around for a few moments before coming to rolling stop on the ground.
The devastation ran deep, though some places were spared the onslaught. Failcannon was once such place. Something about dwarves and their particular single-mindedness maintained a coherent sphere of existence around them. Their knowledge of the outside would come from those who dared to make the journey and tell them.
Lur blinked, trying to get the dust out of his watering eye. He clambered down the tree that somehow still stood, snagging the thong of his sandal on a jagged twig during descent. He fell with a start and hit the ground hard. Gritting his teeth as he stood, the dwarf picked up a pointed stick and used it to fish down his footwear.
"Marvelous," Lur muttered through dirt-speckled lips as he slipped the rogue sandal back on his foot. The cosmos were still ticking, but they were starting to shiver with fever. "Rotten bastards!" He yelled at the sky, fuming. The entire situation was entirely unfair. Existence was having a fatal case of the hiccups while he was stuck here in this meat body. It sickened him.
Yet he had the knowledge, a timeless trove, trapped in the recesses of his primate brain. It told him there was only one person who could help, who was within traveling distance and would actually believe he was who he was.
Lur sighed, took a long look at the upturned land all around him, and set out to the west, to Failcannon.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 18, 2010, 07:54:38 pm
Post by: Lucus Casius on September 18, 2010, 08:02:55 pm
Post by: Lucus Casius on September 18, 2010, 09:02:22 pm
Today, as I was resting in bed, that fool Lupusater approached me with a well-crafted stone tablet. The thing appeared ancient, with many names written near the top, and at the bottom, a crude image of dwarves toiling away in some forgotten pit. Much like this one would become, no doubt.
He handed me the tablet, and, laughing madly, ordered me to sign it with my right hand. I was perfectly prepared to batter him to death with what remained, but I held back. Mostly because I knew that I would soon find a better way to deal with him. Possibly something involving a forgotten beast, long hidden beneath the world.
That thought cheered me greatly, and I chiseled my name into the tablet with the sharp rock I keep for just such purposes. Then, with another insane laugh, he told me that I was now the Overseer of this hellish place! It was now my job to deal with the rest of these idiots and keep them from getting us all killed!
Why, it would take some kind of miracle worker just to get through another year of this!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I SWEAR TO WHATEVER DARK GOD MAY LISTEN THAT YOU WILL PAY, LUPUSATER!
But for now, it looks like I have no choice but to assume my duties as Overseer of this miserable heap of rock on the shore of a demon-cursed ocean.
First things first, I had to flaunt my power as had others before me. I ordered the mining out of new rooms which would be my personal quarters.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It's a fair start.
Oh, and some excellent news, not long after beginning construction!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A true prodigy, making such a marvellous scepter! Once he reaches adulthood, who can tell what wonders he will make?
I'm taking that scepter, by the way. Even if I have no idea how I'm going to carry both it and my child at the same time without my right hand. Stupid kid. Stupid Kobolds.
...
In a fit of nostalgia for my lost extremity, I have ordered another construction. A tower, which, when fully built, will have roughly the same proportions of my glorious right arm, hand included.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It will take some time, but I am confident that, if I suspend all of the other actives, we can accomplish it before the end of the year.
***
Only a very, very short amount of time has passed in game, but I figured I've delayed long enough.
Also, I need to resize my images from now on.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 18, 2010, 09:05:44 pm
(mostly I was flooding the caverns from the dining room aquifer- you may want to seal those off)
Post by: cappstv on September 19, 2010, 01:12:34 am
Also, have I been dwarfed yet? If not, can you please do that. It makes me feel dirty if I dwarf myself.
Post by: SethCreiyd on September 19, 2010, 01:35:49 am
Post by: Lupusater on September 19, 2010, 01:56:25 am
Post by: Mekboy on September 19, 2010, 07:18:54 am
Post by: Zathel on September 19, 2010, 08:18:44 am
I do find it funny that the first thing on the minds of pretty much every player is to one-up the previous player's rooms.
Actually, nothing bad really happens as a result... now, those overseers who don't use their power to build lavish quarters for themselves are the ones you need to be afraid of... they bring bad luck.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 19, 2010, 08:24:28 am
Post by: mgrinshpon on September 19, 2010, 11:06:05 pm
Also, this is living up to Battlefailed so far. Absolutely great so far.
Post by: Lucus Casius on September 20, 2010, 10:20:21 pm
I had a dream last night.
The stone tablet on which my name was carved lay in the center of my new bedroom. Outside, the fortress was completely silent, not even the pounding of picks against rock or a late night drinking contest. I remember being confused by this, as a true fortress, even one like FailCannon, is never quiet.
I recall stumbling to the center of the room, drawn, despite my growing sense of dread, to the tablet. As I approached, the writing began to glow with a strange, otherworldly light. I saw terrifying creatures- hideous, eldritch things- twisting before my vision, crying out as they did in fell tongues.
I picked up the tablet, despite the warnings. The words themselves twisted like the beasts, forming words in a long-forgotten tongue. I was more frightened by this than I was of the monsters, I think. Were it only that the language was unreadable, not just forgotten. For I understood the letters as clearly as humans understand the concept of night and day.
I shall not write here what was written within the depths of my unconscious spirit, lest it fill yet another with madness and despair. If I had not then heard the voice, I would likely even now be trapped in the torment of unwaking nightmares. As it was, I felt a sudden sensation of calm in the darkness, and, as I turned, a gentle voice spoke.
"Lucus-of-the-Hand, you have seen before you what the future holds, and, by our grace, remain unbroken. You have been given a chance. Pave the way for one who can fix the Seal. This is your duty."
Before I could ask who the voice was, or what the Seal was, or how the hell I was supposed to "pave the way," I awoke.
...I have to get back to work.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Work on my room is coming along nicely. It takes my mind off the dream, at least.
Oh, and the mayor asked me to make crossbows.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A perfectly understandable request, really. Who doesn't like shooting things? Nobody, that's who... ...and I feel like they could be useful in the days ahead.
Oh, and more news! Some migrants have arrived!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A Gem Cutter (Drafted)... Who promptly planted himself there and did not move. I stopped paying attention after the first couple of days of him just being there.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Deciding that my workers needed a bit of a break, I told them to have fun for a bit.
Why did I do that? Hell if I know, but I feel really good about myself now.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I take that back. I AM IN HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PAIN.
Post by: cappstv on September 20, 2010, 10:28:30 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 21, 2010, 10:38:24 am
Post by: Oglokoog on September 21, 2010, 02:52:08 pm
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on September 21, 2010, 06:45:01 pm
Post by: MadJax on September 22, 2010, 06:52:28 am
Seeing as dwarves apparently give birth instantly, I'd guess that for them, childbirth is either painless or more painful than any of us can imagine.
Judging from the way dwarves don't even stop to give birth, but instead afterwards seek out their child, it's prolly a case of the kid falls out, then the mother thinks "Shit, where's my pregnancy gone?"
Post by: LordSlowpoke on September 22, 2010, 08:24:24 am
Seeing as dwarves apparently give birth instantly, I'd guess that for them, childbirth is either painless or more painful than any of us can imagine.
Judging from the way dwarves don't even stop to give birth, but instead afterwards seek out their child, it's prolly a case of the kid falls out, then the mother thinks "Shit, where's my pregnancy gone?"
Or, you know, time flows too damn fast for us to see the childbirth itself. Toady said that one frame equals four in-game hours, after all.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 22, 2010, 08:28:12 am
Post by: Mekboy on September 22, 2010, 03:47:59 pm
Post by: Painiac on September 23, 2010, 04:17:49 am
And, can I be dorfed? Preferably smithy, but any adult will do. Name of profession - Saboteur.
Post by: Lucus Casius on September 23, 2010, 05:54:05 am
I'll have the next one up on Friday, most likely.
Post by: ArcaneSaint on September 26, 2010, 10:26:21 am
Post by: Lucus Casius on September 26, 2010, 10:46:15 am
I'll have one up today.
Post by: cappstv on September 26, 2010, 11:00:20 am
DAMN IT I COMPLETELY FORGOT.Soon it shall begin, and none of you will ever forget the name of CAPPSTV!
I'll have one up today.
Post by: xellas84 on September 26, 2010, 02:37:23 pm
I woke my wife up no less than 5 times reading it. I'd LOVE to get dorfed, nick of "Xellas", toss me either a mechanic or a doctor if you can.
Post by: Lucus Casius on September 26, 2010, 10:21:00 pm
Curse you, homework. Curse you.
Post by: ArcaneSaint on September 27, 2010, 12:16:58 pm
Homework, it's like the teachers are actively trying to stop you from playing DF (maybe because they value our sanity? Probably not)
Quote from: xellas84
Just got done reading this and Battlefailed in one sitting.The ENTIRE Battlefailed saga? In one sitting? At night?... i have no words to describe this...
Post by: xellas84 on September 27, 2010, 02:46:17 pm
Phew, so this was like a timely Thread Resurrection then? Happy to help. :D
Homework, it's like the teachers are actively trying to stop you from playing DF (maybe because they value our sanity? Probably not)Quote from: xellas84Just got done reading this and Battlefailed in one sitting.The ENTIRE Battlefailed saga? In one sitting? At night?... i have no words to describe this...
What? It was only 50 or so pages.... I'm used to reading entire 300 page paperbacks in a day for fun, so this wasn't too long :P
Post by: NightmareBros on September 27, 2010, 02:53:41 pm
Post by: ArcaneSaint on September 27, 2010, 03:18:18 pm
Quote from: xellas84
What? It was only 50 or so pages.... I'm used to reading entire 300 page paperbacks in a day for fun, so this wasn't too longWhen I read through forums, pages seem much longer to me. Of course, that might just be because I have the tendency to get "distracted" during the read. end end up reading up all of the Cacame Awemedinade stories because of a reference someone made. That could explain why all these stories seem so long to me ???
btw, longest book I've ever read in one sitting was The Da vinci code (about 5 hours I believe). I did read The Stand from Steven King (1011 pages) but that one took about 5 days.[/off-topic]
[on-topic]I'm wondering, is the promised update still coming? It's already getting late (at least where I live), unless you live in Honolulu, where it's now early morning: 10:18 AM (Current time, from every time zone (http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/custom.html?sort=2)) [/on-topic]
Post by: Lucus Casius on September 27, 2010, 03:49:10 pm
Post by: Lucus Casius on September 27, 2010, 11:40:23 pm
----
From the Journal of Lucus Casius, Chief Medical Dwarf Miracle Worker
Two worthless children, and only one arm. What a waste of my time...
I'll deal with this problem later. Now that I've had a few minutes to rest up, I should get back to my duties.
...unfortunately, before I could do that, some pointy-eared morons jumped us from the trees, threatening me with rolls of cloth! The fiends!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Bloody elves. Always getting in the good dwarf's way, preventing me from doing the work of the gods...
I ordered Mekboy to go haul some of our garbage out and force the idiots to cart it away. Hell, they'd probably even trade for it. Suckers.
A nameless miner ran up to me and informed me that it was too dangerous to go down to mine out an area to be used for magma forging. When I asked why, he informed me that there was a forgotten beast in a perfect position to kill workers.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
...Screw these idiots. Back to bed for the day.
Post by: ArcaneSaint on September 30, 2010, 11:12:10 am
Or could you maybe give an indication of when your next update is planned? Just asking.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 30, 2010, 11:13:10 am
Post by: Twobeard on September 30, 2010, 11:27:58 am
Seeing as dwarves apparently give birth instantly, I'd guess that for them, childbirth is either painless or more painful than any of us can imagine.
Ive actually known dwarves to miscarriage. Seriously. Its brutal. Prospective mothers get depressed and when i check on their stats they are bummed about loosing a kid. :o It makes me weep dwarvey tears
Post by: ArcaneSaint on September 30, 2010, 12:23:05 pm
Quote from: Twobeard
It makes me weep dwarvey tearsSurely you meant to say "It makes me burn
Post by: NightmareBros on September 30, 2010, 12:26:20 pm
Post by: Flagrarus on September 30, 2010, 12:47:01 pm
Of course not. He's talking about expressing his sadness. What you are talking about is something everyone does regardless of the circumstances ( dead elf statues for everyone! ).Quote from: TwobeardIt makes me weep dwarvey tearsSurely you meant to say "It makes me burninnocentelves in magma, encase'em in obsidian, make masterwork statues with said obsidian then have the statues placed in her room to console her", right?
Post by: Lucus Casius on September 30, 2010, 02:10:17 pm
Life got... really messed up for me.
http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3196
Post by: NightmareBros on September 30, 2010, 02:17:26 pm
Now, Cappstv, it's your turn to finish up the year.
Post by: cappstv on September 30, 2010, 08:46:52 pm
Very evil plans.
Post by: xellas84 on September 30, 2010, 11:13:20 pm
If you can toss me a mechanic or doctor, that'd be wonderful. Or a speardorf, if military is needed. Nick of "Xellas"
Post by: SethCreiyd on October 01, 2010, 04:13:00 am
Good luck, Lucus. I hope everything works out.
Post by: ArcaneSaint on October 01, 2010, 11:11:14 am
Quote from: SethCreiyd
Try not to sink the place, capp. XDIgnore what he said, this'll be fun :D
Also, repeating my own request to get dorfed. Something medical or any job that doesn't include me running towards things that could hurt me.
Post by: cappstv on October 01, 2010, 05:39:47 pm
Prologue:
"Led, there is an old man who wants to see you."
"Can't you see that I planning the 'Fetus Head Smash Festival'! This is going to be the first one so it has to be perfect!"
"Led, this old man says he has info on what cause the, well the..."
"Spit it out!"
"The event."
"I AM PLANNING AN EVENT RIGHT NOW! AND THIS ONE INVOLVES DWARFVEN FETUS HEAD SMASHIN!"
"The one where everything flip."
The Queen steps back from the practice fetus as she puts down her hammer.
"Oh, that event. Bring him in."
The old man walked into the room grasping his hip. Led stared deep in the man's eyes.
"What do you know."
"I know everything about the events that are going on in our world. But I can only tell so much."
"THEN TELL IT!"
"FailCannon."
"The fort? What about it?"
"How many eyes do you have there?"
"Well, uhh, well. SERVANTS! FETCH ME THE DWARF THAT IS IN THE CELLS! TELL HER THAT SHE HAS A CHANCE AT FREEDOM! BRING ME CAPPSTV!"
The first letter:
Dear Queen Led,
Like oh my god FailCannon is so awesome! I found like a boyfriend and his name is Mekboy! Isn't that a cute name! Kigok Pokercooks (that's my deity just in case you didn't know!) probably bestow on me this super cool future husband! Also I got tons of friends here! They all seem to like me so much that they made me the overseer! Ain't that neat! Anyway I will tell you if I found out any stuff about what you wanted me to found out about!
From,
Cappstv
The Queen's reply:
Dear Cappstv,
You have been making friends and having sex instead of doing the task I assigned to you? Must I remind you of the cold dark cell that I free you from? I want information about the going ons in FailCannon. So supply them to me.
From,
Queen Led
PS.
The reason why the ink is red is because it was made from fetus blood. We have of lot of that stuff here now.
OCC:
Yes I know this update has nothing game related, but I like introductions.
Post by: mrbobbyg on October 01, 2010, 08:19:19 pm
The Cappstv Letters
Prologue:
The Queen step back from the practice fetus as she put down her hammer.
0.o
Okay, I want to play now. Sign me up.
Post by: cappstv on October 01, 2010, 09:29:28 pm
Cappstv speaks of the Condition of the Fortress
Dear Queen Led,
Ewww! Fetus blood is gross silly goose! Whatcha you doing with that anyway! But back on to the topic on hand, I shall tell you about the condition of the fortress! Like woah, its pretty cool here! There are 64 dwarfs, coutin' myself of course, that live here and none of them are really suspicious! I know because I been looking for suspicious people since I got here! Anyway our current food stores is 2258! We dwarfs like to drink but our Ale grows low, oh my! So I am going to be the boss and order them to make some more ok! Another sad thing is that we don't have our own rooms! So I will fix that up right away! Oh yeah its now officially summer time! Isn't that great! Write you later alligator!
From,
Cappstv
Queen Led Replies to Cappstv's Last Message and Offers Some Helpful Advice
Dear Capptard,
I am this close to sending someone over there to impregnate you and take the fetus from your womb and add it to the "Fetus Smashing Festival".
From,
Queen Led
Cappstv Shall now speak out of character
I hate how this fort is lay out now. I shall be doing some redesigning. Next update will include images and a special surprise.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Also it will be way longer. Waaaaaaay longer.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 01, 2010, 09:35:02 pm
If it involves adamantine, better.
If it involves fire, webs, poison, 200 kg/L, and eerie light, bad.
Post by: ArcaneSaint on October 02, 2010, 09:35:08 am
If it involves fire, webs, poison, 200 kg/L, and eerie light, bad.Unless it also involves 72 kittens, adamantine axes, the ocean and a lot of steam.
Post by: SethCreiyd on October 03, 2010, 06:05:13 am
Someone is hiding something, the goddess Kigok Pokercooks thought to herself, which isn't redundant when all of your peers can hear all the thoughts that aren't specifically private.
She sat at an ornate table in a hunched position, staring at her fellow deities through steepled fingers, as well as the deities who could never, by any leap of imagination, be considered her fellows; they were nemeses, but temporary allies for a common endeavor.
A goddess spoke and interrupted her musings. "The tremors are increasingly unpredictable over time." Kigok eyed the speaker. Limul was a crow-like woman, with long, clawed fingernails and a small, sharply pointed nose. Her hair was tied up in an ornate adamantine clasp, and she carried an angry-looking war hammer made of something that looked like gold.
She went on, saying, "The Seal weakens daily. Lucus-of-the-Hand still lives, but a melancholy has taken him, and the tower remains unfinished. There are new horrors tearing into the mortal planes from the abyssal veil with every passing moment." She paused to pull out a map of the cosmos that looked vaguely like a human child with chicken pox, if an anthill looks vaguely like an asteroid belt.
A human deity of fishing from some backwater dimension interrupted. "None of my constituents have been arriving in Limbo unharmed," she said. "Any who do make it are waylaid or injured by the ones who don't."
"It's intolerable," chirped a bird-like goddess of rebirth from Aluonra. "All the recent stillborns have caused unspeakable misery across the world. Or, most of the world, anyway."
"And Lur?" Sahed asked sheepishly, brushing some rainbow dust of his shoulders. "I hope he isn't lost in transit after he perishes. I wish to have words with him." Sahed licked his lips in a way that implied these words would involve a great deal of pain and begging for mercy.
"Lur is somehow alive," said Kigok, with some resentment in her voice. "But if he can find the sorcerer before it's too late, we might have an easy solution to this mess."
"That's quite an if," said Otik the Blueness of Flickers, as he rubbed his mountainous forehead with fingers like tree trunks.
"Have faith," said Kigok in a strange, faraway voice.
Thoth the godling, who would eventually become Watcher of Aluonra in Lur's stead, now held the All-Seeing Eye that the former god had kept in his All-Seeing Tree. Thoth preferred to house the artifact in a stuffed peacock, which he had dubbed, appropriately enough, the All-Seeing Bird. Peering into the dark passage beyond the bird's yawning mouth, the young god spoke out. "There's a giant blue turtle eating some lizard people."
"Not now, Thoth," said Kigok, shaking her head at him.
Thoth frowned. "But they're in pain. They're asking for our help."
Every god and goddess in the chamber groaned. It was a question every godling would eventually ask: "Why can't we help the sad mortals?" Kigok knew it was time for Thoth to get "the talk" about the Rules, but it would have to wait until later.
"They're bad lizard people," she lied soothingly. "Very bad. Now please, Thoth, no more eyeball until after the meeting."
Thoth looked concerned, but nodded and tucked the bird under his seat. Kigok noticed the discomfort in the minds of her fellow deities and tried to think of something motivational to say.
"Forgive me," said a walrus with a top hat, "but what is the point of continuing this meeting if all we are to do is sit on our flippers? I say to Hell with the Rules. Let's roll into town and make some noise."
Kigok sighed. She decided on saying, "There is a chance Lur will survive long enough to succeed. He knows what he must do now that he is part of the mortal realm." She paused, sighed. "But there is someone else that resembles him an awful lot who is about to cause quite a stir in our world. Claims to have intimate knowledge of recent events. And I can't read him, none of us can. His mind is a..." She searched for the word, "... a whiteness."
She stared hard at the walrus. He looked so silly, so harmless. Dangerous assumptions, she scolded herself. She met eyes with him, and gave him her most urgent smile. "The point is unity before this crisis," she said. "And entering the worlds would mean disaster, especially now. Probability won't withstand that kind of firepower."
"You have enjoyed dominating this meeting," came a voice that chilled even the ichor of the gods. "Yet I have not spoken. Are we not all equals here?"
Kigok knew all about this one. Her name was Ura, and her name was Death. Fleshless and robed, she sat on an obsidian throne that hovered upside down, giving the impression of a torso protruding from the ceiling.
"Do not distract from this topic, Ura," said Kigok in warning. "Or do you have reasons for doing so?"
"The old man is my prophet," Ura said through her ever-grinning teeth.
There was an uproar. Gods simply did not send prophets without securing the proper authorization. It was forbidden, and just plain rude.
"You're too much like your father, Ura!" screamed Harod the God of Sod over a concert of shouting. "The same hubris. And even more impetuous!"
"Not everyone in Mother Kigok's order are meek enough to wait out this catastrophe," was Ura's reply, and her skeletal grin miraculously widened.
I Thirst, said a voice so hideous, so awfully vile, that horror took the entire room in such a way that only gods may feel: a preternaturally villainous voice as vicious as the biting abyss beyond time, a voice that dripped with utter hatred for existence, older than it, greater than it, the fatherless skin of evil itself.
A phantasmal shadow manifested in the chamber, surrounding Ura's skeletal frame, embracing it, adding eyes of etheric slime to empty sockets. It enveloped her limbs which presently throbbed like an exposed and yet beating heart, and a darkness congealed around her as the tiles of the chamber ceiling peeled away into nothingness.
Thoth cried out and fled from the chamber with a flash of light. The worry of the remaining gods echoed in their collective minds, and their thoughts were as One as instantly as they'd thought they should so be.
'The Foul One? Here! How?'
I Thirst, said the unfathomable voice that crept around the room like the hungry tendrils of a colossal squid. The unified mind of the gods focused on their most ancient enemy, a golden light filling the room and clashing with the spread of darkness bleeding into their sanctum. Their physical forms flickered and faded as their concentration narrowed in on the battle of wills.
"You will not disturb this Sanctum, Old One," said the gods. 'Ura, what have you done?'
Ura said nothing. The voice behind her did not speak, but hissed with the rattling sound of millions dying in pools of their own life. The light in the chamber flared as fire and lightning rained from above. An arc of frenzied energy shot out and struck the wall, and the entire structure around them shimmered and vanished, replaced by an utter, yawning cavern of chaotic proto-reality and pre-shapes, without meaning or any discernible form.
The gods were troubled. This was all very new to most of them.
They had to abandon the Sanctum, they realized. The Foul One had taken them by surprise and they hadn't reacted soon enough to win this battle. The best they could manage was an infinite stalemate. They knew it, and couldn't afford it. Retreat was the only option they could take.
Hells and damnations, they thought.
And then they were gone. Pitch, fetid tendrils of protoplasm crawled into countless realities like the blood of gods dripping down the walls of space itself. Ura grinned, and her grin grew to fill the entirety of the Sanctum.
* * *
Far away on Aluonra, Lur panicked. He was drowning.
Post by: ArcaneSaint on October 03, 2010, 12:50:08 pm
Quote from: SethCreiyd
Epic story revealing a new unexpected twist and finally revealing the feared "threat to existence"That was... Beautiful. An awe-inspiring piece of work SethCreiyd, I really hope more will come.
My biggest fear is that this fort will somehow not stand up to it's predecessor's greatness and be overshadowed by the storyline, instead of being a part of it.
Post by: cappstv on October 03, 2010, 02:50:32 pm
Anyway, I will update sometime tonight. I will try to make it so the story doesn't overshadow the fortress too much.
Also, I think its very lucky that my god is one of the main gods.
Post by: cappstv on October 03, 2010, 10:10:31 pm
The Fetus Head Smash Festival
"Your highness, a letter from the dwarven spy Cappstv!"
"I will read it later, don't you know its time for the opening ceremony of the 'Fetus Head Smash' you worthless piece of trash!"
"Sorry my Queen."
The servant quickly scatter away as Led raise up her golden hammer as if to hit him. Led smiled after he left the room.
Fanfare played as Led ascended the stairs to the platform. There was a masterfully crafted table with a single fetus placed on top of it. The Queen stood facing the crowd and gave the signal to stop the music. She waited until every eye was on her and then she began her speech, "The title of this even is 'Fetus Head Smash Festival'. Just to inform everyone who might be offended, we shall only be smashing the fetuses of lesser species. That is all." The gold hammer swung down.
The old man was in the crowd, grasping his hip. He was smiling. He spoke to himself in a low whisper, "Led, when all of this is over It won't matter if you are a dwarf or a human." As he walk away from the crowd he stop grasping his hip. There was no point in pretending when out of sight. He walked right through a shadow and arrived outside the ruins of Battlefailed. Staring around at his surroundings he sat cross legged on the ground and began to whistle.
Cappstv writes to Led about stuff
Dear Queen Led,
Have you ever wonder where the gods came from? If they were created, then what created them? And if a god could be created, does that mean a god could be destroyed? I don't know why I bother myself with such silly thoughts, but if Kigok Pokercooks were to suddenly be destroyed I wouldn't know what to do. But this is all just silly talk! Running a fortress is very stressful, and when I get get stress out my mind likes to think of silly things. Anyway like things are going fine over at the fort even though I am very stress out! Like so great some kid threw a party! It was kinda lame being a kid party but it still was a party!
Also I made an art galley for engravings and stuff!
Once again cappstv goes OCC
My surprise didnt work out as plan, but I am just going to pretend my art galley is a surprise. Also this doesn't really include any game play stuff cause NOTHING HAPPEN, besides a bunch of cows giving birth.
Post by: SethCreiyd on October 04, 2010, 02:36:17 am
@ArcaneSaint, I'm happy you liked it :) It's great fun to write these vignettes, but I don't want to hog the story or the thread, so I'll do my best to keep a more discreet pace. I wouldn't want the story to overshadow the fort, the story is because of the fort. It also helps that Aluonra is such a quirky place ^_^
I took a look around the save with 31.15.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
edits for content and spoilers and stuff
Post by: cappstv on October 04, 2010, 11:43:51 pm
The Child and the Old Man
"What are you doing here mister?"
"Thinking. And you?"
The old man didn't had to ask, he already knew the reason. He knew the child would come, and he knew why the child had come, and he knows what they will do next. He was just doing it for conversation.
"Playing chess. Want to play with me?"
The boy produce a board and sat it down on the ground before the old man could even say yes. The old man slowly got up and walk over. He sat back down and stare at the board. The boy never lost a chess game in his life. That is why he came here, no one back home would play with him. And the old man knew the boy would beat him. Because the old man would let him.
Led Replies to Cappstv's last letter
Dear Cappstv,
Wow, what wonderfully profound thoughts! Maybe you should publish a book! NOW STOP THINKING ABOUT STUPID THINGS AND GET BACK TO SPYING!
From,
Queen Led
Cappstv gets back to spying, well kinda
Dear led,
I took your excellent advice and decided to try to get my journal publish! Oh and the saddest thing happen the other day! It turns out some guy die of thirst cause we had no buckets! We actually 3 dwarfs died. Actually I think that was 5 dwarfs. Maybe 6. The good news is that no more people will die cause the carpenter is making buckets! Oh wait, while writing this letter I was inform another one died. Good grief. This is rather sad.
Oh and then there is Vafe! Its a giant 3 eyed lobster beast thing. Everyone is afraid its going to kill us, but I think he looks cute! Besides how would it even get in? Also on a far more pleasant note, Lupusater has given birth! Well my golly another one has died of thirst! Now this just doesn't make sense! Its making me really sad. And what do you know another one has died! Oh my god every time I write a new sentence another person dies of thirst! I don't see why they keep on saying they can't use the buckets! Oh my god another person died! I don't know whats wrong! I am the worst overseer ever! I somehow spent the whole month writing this letter to you!
From,
Crying Cappstv
Led says something comforting
Dear Cappstv,
This is the best new I heard out of FailCannon yet. Thanks for telling me about it.
From Led
A Quick Intermission
So yeah, about the buckets. Well I somehow got buckets confuse with barrels in my head. Twice. So yeah. Luckly it was just a bunch of nobodies who died.
The Aftermath of the Chess Game
"Checkmate!"
"How does it feel to win a game fairly?"
The boy's expression of glee crawled back into oblivion. No one ever knew his secret.
"How do you know?"
"I know a lot of things. So much, if you were able to read my mind, your little head would probably explode."
"Is that why your mind is like...a whiteness? So you can stop my head from exploding?"
"No."
The old man's eyes turn wild and he pounce on top the boy. His bony hands began to grasp around the boys neck. A few moments latter the boy was dead. He got back on his feet and stare at the dead body.
"Well kid, at least you died proud to win a game without reading someone's mind. Even though I had to let you win." He glance back at the chess board. "Only a few more left to dispose of. Next stop shall be in FailCannon."
The old man sat back down.
"Now isn't the time. But soon it will be."
The last Letter of Summer
Dear Led,
I fix the problem I think. It turns out that I said buckets instead of barrels when I told the carpenters what to build. Opps. And even after I fix that people are still dying of thirst! I am a terrible overseer. But I can't be that bad if I have the best art gallery ever! I hear that every engraving that Oglo and Mac make are masterpieces, so this is going have to be good! Oh, a human caravan has just arrived! Write you later!
From,
Cappstv
The Old Man Arrives in FailCannon
It was raining when he arrived. The old man watch as Sithe Nifihrith slowly made his way across the land and suddenly stop as if he was a stature. Sithe was a human merchant, there to trade goods. But now he appear to be nothing more then a stature. He stood there in the rain, for days. And the old man stood there, watching him and the fortress.
Then it happen. An ambush.
A goblin ambush. 3 Dwarfs were outside heading to meet the merchant to see what was wrong. In a matter of seconds one of them was already dead and the other 2 were injury and on the run. Their screams could be heard inside the fortress. Now it was time to test The Gilded Lances. Meanwhile Lordslowpoke and dragonshadez decided to get married. The old man shook his head at the wonder of the dwarfs, and with perfect timing brought his head up to see the arrival of the another second ambush. Maybe it is not the time to test The Gilded Lances. The second dwarf was struck down. But wait, where are The Gilded Lances? As it turns out there is a bridge blocking there pathway so they couldn't exactly kick anyone butt. That is until they ordered someone to bring it down.
"The bridge is brought down.
The weather clears.
And they all rush out."
Said the Old man.
When I say they all rush out, I just don't mean The Gilded Lances. I mean the majority of the fort decided to rush outside. The old man shakes his head in wonderment, of course he already saw this coming, but it still somehow shock him. Normal civilians with no military training just rushing outside for what during a goblin ambush for what?
Somehow kobold thieves even enter the fray now. "Oglokoog must be taking a break from his engravings and throwing a tantrum now." Whisper the old man to himself. The old man turn back to the fighting. And then it was suddenly over. Blood of all types mix in the ground. Goblin, human, and dwarf. Corpses litter the grounds.
The old man walk through a shadow and arrived some place else.
The mystery!
Everything that has happen to me so far in this update was a result of that stupid bridge. The reason behind all the people dying of thirst wasn't buckets, it was because they were outside the fortress and they COULDN'T GET PAST THIS BRIDGE! I wish I figure out this whole bridge ordeal earlier, or I could have avoided the massacre that just happen (everyone rush outside, because they were going to finally give some water to their thirsty brethren!) I feel kinda stupid, but then again if someone hadn't build a bridge that strands about 15 dwarfs outside maybe the events would have not gone down as they had. The aftermath of everything that just happen is going to be fun trying to explain in the story, and now I also have to avoid a tantrum spiral, or survive one.
I will make a list of the dead tomorrow. Well those who had been dwarfed.
Oh god, what have I done.
Post by: Andreus on October 05, 2010, 02:55:33 am
The stars.
The stars are fading, dying like the last one remaining in Lur's constellation. A blackness is seeping across the sky, visible to my eyes even during the light of day. All but twelve stars. Ura's stars now burn bright with the most vile and unwholesome candesence. Something truly cataclysmic has taken place in the land of the gods, and while the dwarves here toil in meaningless obscurity at the behest of an insane, genocidal human queen trying to recreate what was lost at Battlefailed, the entire multiverse is collapsing around us.
I think I've finally found a problem that is truly, utterly beyond my power to fix. We're all going to never have existed.
That being said, while I still do exist, I'm going to have a drink. A very, very strong drink.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 05, 2010, 07:55:43 am
Post by: dragonshardz on October 05, 2010, 12:58:12 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on October 05, 2010, 01:49:32 pm
Post by: cappstv on October 05, 2010, 09:57:55 pm
Don't worry, this will only be for one day.
I will be able to update Wednesday.
Post by: ArcaneSaint on October 06, 2010, 12:27:46 pm
Post by: cappstv on October 06, 2010, 10:55:32 pm
I promise you Thursday. If i am not able to update then I will upload the save.
Post by: ArcaneSaint on October 07, 2010, 09:41:23 am
Post by: cappstv on October 07, 2010, 10:31:30 pm
After the Massacre
"Oh my god! How did this happen! How many are dead!"
"A lot. Do you want to include all those who died of thirst outside the fort?"
"They died outside the fort? But I was told there was a bridge blocking the entrance to... Oh my god! They didn't died because we had enough buckets, they died because they couldn't get back in the fort! "
"Yep."
"Who is among the dead?"
"Well there is Thatdude, Madjax, Pisano, Elt, Gilgameshclone, and Mekboy."
Cappstv turned pale.
"What was that last one again?"
"Mekboy."
Turkey XIV watched as Cappstv began to cry hysterically.
The First Letter of Sad Autumn
Dear Queen Led,
I am writing for Cappstv in her absence. She told me all about how she is a spy between her fits of crying and ask me to inform you of the going ons in the fort.
hey has been a goblin ambush not too long ago, that took many lives. This massacre took the life of one Mekboy, who I am sure Cappstv inform you, who was her lover. Now that Mekboy is dead, Cappstv has suffer a mental breakdown. And she is not the only one. As of now I would say about 6 dwarfs are throwing tantrums. The most repeat offender for the tantrum throwing is one Nightmarebros.
I am also regret to inform you that 2 dwarfs have been shucked by terrible grief.
This is all I have to report so far.
From
Turkey XIV
Mayor of Failcannon
Led denies that Cappstv is a Spy
Dear Turkey XIV,
Cappstv is not a spy! That is silly! But thanks for informing me of the going ons in one of my forts!
From,
Queen Led
The Greatest Artifact Ever
I present to you, "The Executioner of Strangers"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: TurkeyXIII on October 07, 2010, 11:50:25 pm
Mandates: Adamantine Items (3/3)
Post by: Gilgameshclone on October 08, 2010, 12:47:51 am
Capp, i love your update style, keep up the good work! and good luck on the tantrums
Post by: Mekboy on October 08, 2010, 11:11:04 am
Then again, I lasted remarkably long considering this is Battlefailed.
Post by: Thatdude on October 08, 2010, 11:32:50 am
Shame that an original dwarf died. But 7 years is a good life span for any fort, let alone one on a terrifying beach.
Could I be re-dwarfed? Maybe a herbalist which only works in the caverns?
Post by: NightmareBros on October 08, 2010, 11:57:42 am
Also I'm amazed that I'm still alive after all this time. Clearly I have been dedicated to growing and gathering food, or else I would not have lived for so goddamned long.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on October 08, 2010, 12:05:22 pm
Post by: xellas84 on October 08, 2010, 02:29:53 pm
Can't wait to get dwarfed so I can get into this insanity :)
Post by: cappstv on October 08, 2010, 04:08:58 pm
Im surprise Andreus didnt died.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 08, 2010, 04:16:26 pm
Post by: Felcis on October 08, 2010, 05:50:15 pm
Hopefully the fortress survives that long, after the bridge-disaster. Did the military at least do a decent job when they got out or did they stay inside until the goblins were gone?
Post by: cappstv on October 08, 2010, 11:54:11 pm
Hopefully the fortress survives that long, after the bridge-disaster. Did the military at least do a decent job when they got out or did they stay inside until the goblins were gone?The military was good. They rip those goblins to shreds once things kinda got under my control. If it wasnt for the human caravan guard there would have probably been one more casualty though.
I will finish up my turn tomorrow and pass the torch on to Glacial.
Post by: ArcaneSaint on October 09, 2010, 05:17:54 am
Post by: Lupusater on October 09, 2010, 07:27:02 am
Post by: ArcaneSaint on October 09, 2010, 09:19:56 am
Post by: cappstv on October 10, 2010, 03:44:47 am
This Old Man...
"...came rolling home." The body stop rolling at the bottom of the hill near the home. The old man who stood directly atop of the hill smiled. It was almost over. "Just one more to go," he said to himself. Indeed there was just one more to go.
The old man was on a mission. And no matter what he would complete his mission, because you can't change the future.
"One more to go."
Dinner With Queen Led
"Good and evil are two things that I can assure you that do in fact exist!" Queen Led sighed, she knew inviting a philosopher and a high priest would be a bad idea. "Good and evil are simply ideas, and nothing more. There can be no true evil and no true good. Who can decides what is evil and what is good?" The priest was now enraged and shouted, "Who else but the gods!" The philosopher shook his finger at the high priest, "Last I check there wasn't a god of evil or a god of good." The Queen took a bit out of her piece of bread. She almost had enough of this. "You simply amaze me! How can you not believe in good or evil!" The philosopher once again shook his finger at the priest, "Because every man has his own detention of good and evil." Queen Led had enough. "Stop with this conversation, it bores me." The priest's head went down in shame. "Aww, sorry my queen, if you don't mine my asking, what is your views on the subject." Led swallowed and replied, "I believe there is no pure good in the world. But I do believe there is such a thing as pure evil." Seconds later a servant arrived with a letter from FailCannon.
Turkey XIV's Second Letter To Led
Dear Queen Led,
Miasma plagues the fortress. The tantrums are never ending, and there is always at least one going on. Cappstv has been seeing the closest thing we have to a therapist. I was shown some of her poems and I still remember one.
I am rather sad
Cause Mekboy is now dead
I cut myself now
These are not good signs I think. Besides the decaying mental health of my peers we seem to be doing alright. Well actually that is a lie. We are doing terrible. Everyone goes a little mad sometimes, but we are all going mad right now.
From
Turkey
Mayor of FailCannon
Led's Response
Dear Turkey,
Wow that is all very interesting. I can't wait to write about it in my journal. Now I am going to finish my meal.
From Queen Led
The First Letter of Winter
Dear Queen Led,
Lur and Andreus have been strucked by melancholy. I fear Cappstv may suffer the same faith. Our days in FailCannon have been reduce down to grief and anger. Our numbers have dwindle down to 39.
I have just been inform that Andreus has just been struck down. Our numbers are now down at 38. I weep for the children who must grow up in such a climate. Its winter now, and I don't know if we will survive this one.
From Turkey
Mayor of FailCannon
Led's Reply
Dear Turkey,
Can you stop being so over dramatic? If I wanted to read serials I would read a serial. My patience with you is running thin.
From,
Queen Led
The Final Letter From Turkey
Dear Queen Led
I am sorry my over dramaticness. But I must inform you that Cappstv has gone gone Stark Raving Mad, and so have I!HEHEHEHEHHAHAHAHAHHHEHEHEHHEHAHAHAHAHHEHEHEHHAHAHAHA!
OH MY OH MY MACDUGGIN HAS BEEN STURK DOWN HEHEHEHEHAHHAHAHAH! ONLY 35 DWARFS LEFT! AND ONLY A HANDFUL ARE SANE! LUR HAS DIED OF THIRST! LUCUdS HAZS THE MELACONLY! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! LLSDFSTSDFSHSFDSEKLKMLPFADFWEROSFVSUSSDFSDCOSDEWRMLSDFWEBUOGDFSGNSDFSFSVBCXE!
The Gypsum Cabinet
During the chaos one dwarf withdrawn from society to create a artifact. The artifact which was created was a gypsum cabinet menace with spikes of gypsum. A cabinet. But this cabinet represented something. It had order. In a time of chaos one dwarf made something that defy the chaos. This cabinet came to be known as "The Veiled Rivers". It was a sign of hope.
The Old Man and Cappstv
Ledi was known as a crazy cat lady. And the first thing the Old Man saw when he arrived at FailCannon was her going mad. How appropriate, he thought. The Old Man hid in the shadows and waited. The zombie and skeletal horses came. Lucus, Sprout, Lupusater, and Cappstv quickly were killed. It was Cappstv who the old man came for. The old man made his way toward's Cappstv's corpse. He was shock to find that it wasn't exactly a corpse, but that Cappstv was still somewhat alive. "Thats not suppose to happen." He pulls out his knife when Cappstv speaks in a voice that isn't her own, "Old Man, the future you have seen is just one of many possibilities."
The old man slices the throat of Cappstv, but the voice is still there, "What was the purpose of killing that young boy? Or the several other murders you committed in last months? What is the purpose of making sure Cappstv dies?" The old man replied, "I don't know," and walked away. He went through a shadow as a siege engineer began his murderous rampage. He would end up killing Twobeard, mrgrinshpon, Dariush, and FelcisGreenshirt. After that 3 goblin snatchers will steal 3 children. And then after that a goblin ambush. Vastly out numbering the dwarfs, there will be slaughter. When spring arrives there is only one dwarf left. He will soon be slaughter also.
GAME OVER
You have failed FailCannon. As FailCannon fails, so fails the universe.
Continue?
Cappstv speaks out of character
So yeah. Do you guys want me to try again, or just upload the save so the next guy can do it? You must be sick of me by now.
Either way, it seems the gods have to pull off some magical stuff and go back to the past.
Post by: SethCreiyd on October 10, 2010, 04:02:24 am
Well, clearly we can't give up. I say we drive on, that's what true dwarves would do, but it's a pain to rebuild the place with only one dwarf. Reclaim is an option too I guess.
On a lighter note, those updates were awesome and that poem is hilarious.
Edit: Also, when did Lur get to the fort? ???
Post by: cappstv on October 10, 2010, 04:04:30 am
Oh and that last dwarf died.
Wait, where is Lur. I dont see no lur.
EDIT:
But yeah, you guys decide what to do. I got a save from after the first fall update. If you guys want to reclaim or have me retry from that save tell me.
Post by: NightmareBros on October 10, 2010, 08:28:32 am
Post by: Glacial on October 10, 2010, 10:18:08 am
Post by: Felcis on October 10, 2010, 10:24:23 am
Didn´t reclaim at an ocean flood the entire fortress or did that get fixed? I once tried to explore this fortress in Adventure mode, but it was completely filled with water. oO
If that is true the reclaim would be almost impossible. A retry would be the best option at this point imo, unless I am mistaken.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 10, 2010, 10:26:02 am
Post by: cappstv on October 10, 2010, 10:45:34 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 10, 2010, 11:03:58 am
Post by: cappstv on October 10, 2010, 11:15:09 am
But I have a plan to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Anyway, I figure out how I am going to work the last update in with this one. I don't like the whole idea of saying "This never happen in the story."
Post by: Zathel on October 10, 2010, 03:11:48 pm
Yep.
But I have a plan to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Anyway, I figure out how I am going to work the last update in with this one. I don't like the whole idea of saying "This never happen in the story."
The whole multiverse is in chaos. You can't say you can't use this little tiny factor?
Post by: cappstv on October 10, 2010, 05:50:02 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 10, 2010, 09:03:21 pm
Post by: cappstv on October 10, 2010, 10:51:38 pm
The Ripple
If one were to change the future they would also change the past.
The old man woke up with a vision. For as long as he could remember he always receive these visions, one every few seasons. But this time it was different. In the future the old man saw, the future was changed. And how was one suppose to follow a future in which he isn't suppose to believe will be changed?
Lunch With Queen Led
"Good and evil are two things that do in fact exist! I can assure you of this!" Queen Led sighed, she knew inviting a philosopher and a high priest would be a bad idea. "Good and evil are simply ideas, and nothing more. There is no such thing as true evil and no true good. Who can decide what is evil and what is good?" The priest was now enraged and shouted, "Who else but the gods themselves!" The philosopher shook his head at the high priest, "Last I check there wasn't a god who decides what is evil and good." The Queen took a sip of her soup. She almost had enough of this. "You simply amaze me! How can you not believe in good or evil!" The philosopher once again shook his head at the priest, "Because every man has his own detention of good and evil." Queen Led had enough. "Stop with this conversation, it bores me." The priest's head went down in shame. "Aww, sorry my queen, if you don't mine my asking, what is your views on the subject." Led swallowed and replied, "Neither exists. I use to believe in pure evil, but if such a thing were to exist then it must have its opposite." The philosopher smiled, and took another drink of his poisonous wine. Of course, he had no clue it was poisonous. Seconds later a servant arrived with a letter from FailCannon.
Turkey's Second Letter to Queen Led... Well kinda.
Dear Queen Led,
SethCreiyd has gone mad and I fear cappstv shall loose her head too. Recently she has been seeing the closet thing we have to a therapist here. Well as it turn out cappstv has been writing poetry recently, well you have a look yourself.
Today I will cry
for my darling one, mekboy
I think i shall die
Rather depressing stuff right?
Anyway I must get back to work, NightmareBros was apparently just murdered.
From,
Turkey
Mayor of Battlefailed
Cappstv Speaks out of character again
Ok, I am done for the night. Also I forgot to mention the whole Lur thing in the last update.
So yeah someone before me dwarfed Lur.
And that explains the whole Lur thing.
Post by: NightmareBros on October 11, 2010, 09:38:23 am
Quote
NightmareBros was apparently just murder.???
'murdered', perhaps? if that is that case, I ask for re-dorf.
if the phrase ment 'murderer', then awsome, I just went compleatly psycho.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 11, 2010, 01:26:25 pm
Post by: cappstv on October 11, 2010, 04:01:43 pm
Quote'murdered', perhaps?Fix, I need to stop doing these so late at night.
Post by: Mekboy on October 12, 2010, 10:38:12 am
If so, can I be re-dorfed. Doesn't really matter, someone not too unimportant.
Name: The real Mekboy
Post by: Flagrarus on October 12, 2010, 10:45:53 am
Name him/her Pyromaniac.
Post by: SethCreiyd on October 12, 2010, 09:34:26 pm
Dear Queen Led,
SethCreiyd has gone mad and I fear cappstv shall loose her head too. Recently she has been seeing the closet thing we have to a therapist here.
Journal of SethCreiyd, final entry
dwarf of little consequence
The stars are gone! Where are the stars? I see, yes, I SEE, YES! The End approaches (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=67781.0) its beginning. The walls draw clothes. IT will ALL end, ALL OF IT
What I've seen, WHAT I'VE SEEN! The TEETH of the end! The land itself (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=67846.0) is the enemy.
Soon it will be too late. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=68242.0) I must, yes, nobody trusts me, why don't they ever look away?
Post by: cappstv on October 12, 2010, 11:33:12 pm
It awaken. It only awaken when trouble was afoot. It was watching, listening.
"What did you do to him?"
"The old man believes he can see the future. No one can. All he is gifted with is Ura's vision for the future. Ura is a very good guesser, but Ura never thought I would get past the defenses he put in the old man's mind. All I had to do was plant a seed of doubt, show him that not everything will go as plan."
"That's clever even for a goddess!"
It decided to go back to sleep. Whatever is going on, it could wait just for a moment.
The Last Letter
Dear Queen Led,
It is me again, cappstv. Just to let you know this will be my last letter. Mekboy's death has brought me back to reality. And what a horrible place reality is.
I spent the last few months watching my peers decay. We are all angry here, some of us mad. Seth has committed suicide and Lucus is babbling randomly. Do you know how hard it is to watch the people you spent a good part of your life die? And to die not by the hands of a goblin, but the hands of a fellow dwarf?
And then there is this. Me sending letters to someone who cares, not ever directly asking for help, but still screaming for some form of support.
w
And the worst thing of all, I am spying on my fellow dwarfs without even knowing the reason why.
Now if you accuse me, I got a fortress to run. It appears melkorp and Ledi has just gone stark raving mad and dragonshardz has been stricken by melancholy.
From
Cappstv
PS
Go to hell.
Led reaction to this last letter
"I know who is going to get knock off. Servants, fetch me a hit man and a dwarf who has no issues with spying."
The Old Man and Cappstv
"A dwarf went mad the other day. When he awoke and killed a small child and an armorer. The mad man was quickly struck down, bringing our numbers down to 31." The line was of course lost on Cappstv, who had gone completely mad a few days before.
"LucusCasius has died of thirst. That brought our numbers down to 30. And then Twobeard died too. Capps are you paying attention? Capps? Aww, this is pointless!"
Sprout walk away. He would throw a tantrum later because of this and eventually go mad himself. It would be some time after that the old man arrives.
When the old man arrived just after FelcisGreenshirt, Andreus VI, Sprout, and Lur were all struck down by an insane dwarf. Everything was different from his vision. Everything was changed. The old man found cappstv's corpse. It didn't spoke to him. There were no answers here. And so the question remained.
Why is he meant to do this?
Cappstv Speaks out of character for the last time
Im done, 16 dwarfs are left, and the tantrum sprial seems to finally be ending. I will upload the save tomorrow. I need sleep.
Post by: Lucus Casius on October 12, 2010, 11:59:54 pm
Name: LucusCasius
Job: Second Hand (Medical Preferred, though anything is fine)
Post by: cappstv on October 13, 2010, 07:30:15 am
Heres the save where everything failed for those who are interested: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3263 (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3263)
Oh, and It appears we are running low on drinks.
Well, goodbye FailCannon. It was nice getting to know you.
Post by: NightmareBros on October 13, 2010, 08:12:58 am
We have a *slight* problem with Battlefailed and it would be nice if you took over and tried to not die.
Post by: Felcis on October 13, 2010, 10:32:09 am
Speaking of, I request redorfing.
Name: FelcisTheMaddwarf
Profession: Hunter/Marksdwarf, Trapper, Animal Trainer, Leatherworker or whatever is needed or at hand.
Post by: cappstv on October 13, 2010, 03:59:16 pm
I would like to point out that I was able to produce a non struck down BattleFailed save.
Also Lur died. I don't know who dwarfed Lur, but I think it should be best to pretend that the Lur who died was just another Lur.
Post by: Glacial on October 13, 2010, 04:50:37 pm
I'll also try doing some dwarfings...
Post by: SethCreiyd on October 13, 2010, 09:13:38 pm
I took a look at the fort. Hoo boy. Soon as you make a Fortress Guard, dwarves start to die from the massive backlog in justice. The water source is within sight of the zombie horses and there's no booze left.
I envy you, Glacial. :)
Post by: Felcis on October 14, 2010, 05:41:56 pm
But hey: Even a lack of booze is better than a lack of challenges. :D
You did a great job cappstv. The stories were entertaining and such situations only help to improve the dwarven survival spirit!
Post by: Glacial on October 14, 2010, 05:45:43 pm
First, the good news: a previous overseer, possibly cappstv, made over a hundred coffins. That's good, because we're going to need them!
...
Actually, the good news is that I made it to the first immigrant wave, and it's 23 dwarves.
The bad news is that this brings us to 25 functional adult dwarves. I know there's a huge queue of "dwarf me!" requests, but I'm going to assume that if you requested dwarfing before this post, you've been dwarfed, and then you died.
The exceptions are:
- Derm: hospitalized (Beating, 51 days in prison)
- LordSlowpoke: working, happy he repeatedly stabbed Nat (Beating, 76 days in Prison)
- Dariush: working, happy as a clam about her new baby (beating, 226 days in Prison)
- Oglokoog: working, happy he murdered a horse (Beating, 526 days in prison)
- Nat: starving, needs hospitalized after "cheering up" LordSlowpoke (Beating, 526 days in prison)
- Frosty: insane and depressed (pleads insanity, suspended sentence)
For fun, I've included the unexecuted justice sentences awaiting each of our fine named dwarves. Before the immigrant wave, every sane adult dwarf had a beating and a prison sentence awaiting them.
Also, there are two exciting named children:
- Andreus VII: reincarnated as a legendary stonecrafter... age two
- mgrinshpon: age two, Lupusater's kid, hospitalized the engraver and mason
Welcome back, Andreus!
So, if you want re-dwarfed, let me know. Don't worry too much about picking professions, as there's only one available: "Immediately drafted into the military to battle the skorse on the immigrant spawn point."
Oh, Lupusater: you went berserk, murdered your baby, and were punched to death by the entire surviving functional fort population.
Cheers!
Post by: Lucus Casius on October 14, 2010, 05:48:11 pm
Requesting redorfing from whoever gets save next.
Name: LucusCasius
Job: Second Hand (Medical Preferred, though anything is fineLOOKS LIKE IM IN THE ARMY LADS!)
Post by: NightmareBros on October 14, 2010, 06:08:56 pm
Hopefully the army will be to the taste of my re-dwarfed self. I realise now that being a planter might just get you ignored for several turns untill you mysteriously turn up dead.
Post by: Flagrarus on October 14, 2010, 06:16:44 pm
Just 'Flagro' this time around.
Post by: cappstv on October 14, 2010, 06:18:53 pm
Yay!
Also if you can dwarf me please.
I want to be Cappstv II. And make sure I am male this time.
Post by: dragonshardz on October 14, 2010, 06:26:47 pm
Post by: cappstv on October 14, 2010, 06:30:03 pm
I don't recall if I was dorfed or not.I am pretty sure I remember you dying in my turn.
Post by: TerrisH on October 14, 2010, 07:32:38 pm
Post by: xellas84 on October 14, 2010, 08:27:48 pm
Post by: Aik on October 14, 2010, 08:51:07 pm
Post by: cappstv on October 14, 2010, 09:30:29 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 14, 2010, 10:10:53 pm
Post by: cappstv on October 14, 2010, 10:26:56 pm
What date? I need to mark my calendar. This will become an integral part of the continuity at some point, knowing these forums.Well shoot, I never actually made a set date. Its somewhere near the beginning of the summer or the end of spring. How about the first day of summer?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 14, 2010, 10:31:33 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on October 15, 2010, 10:20:29 am
So, did anything interesting/awesome happen at all or was it just the standard "stuff happens, dwarves die" turn?
Post by: Grath on October 15, 2010, 02:46:34 pm
Name: Grath
Gender: Whichever Is More Convenient For You
Profession: Arrow-catcher (wrestling military)
Post by: Lupusater on October 15, 2010, 02:55:20 pm
Quote
Oh, Lupusater: you went berserk, murdered your baby, and were punched to death by the entire surviving functional fort population.An end befitting me. Can I be redorfed, possibly as a smith?
Post by: cappstv on October 15, 2010, 09:45:03 pm
I can't fathom the reason for this, but I am unable to read your updates, cappstv. Maybe it's their odd format, but I just... can't.Well there was this awesome artifact. And stuff happen and dwarfs die.
So, did anything interesting/awesome happen at all or was it just the standard "stuff happens, dwarves die" turn?
Most of the other stuff was just story.
Post by: Zathel on October 16, 2010, 03:46:13 pm
Name Zathel, profession not important, but it would be good if it was food-related.
Post by: Glacial on October 16, 2010, 05:03:03 pm
Mother,
Years have passed since we have heard from Aunt Glacial. I traveled to Failcannon at your request, to discover what had become your dear sister. Now I know why she has not written.
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-glacial-tomb.PNG)
Nothing is well here in Failcannon. I have taken to writing poetry to pass the time between when I am screaming or being screamed at. Here is my latest effort:
Slate is the cruellest month, breeding
Sweet pods out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
I feel I have tapped into some essential theme. If the screaming stops, and I lose the urge to throw plump helmet roasts hither and yon, I may continue to write.
In other news, I have appointed myself overseer of this fortress of Failcannon. The previous overseer is still about, but I have not seen her leave her coffin in days. I suppose she is dead. This is my domain:
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-start.PNG)
2nd Granite, 520
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with bloated tubers.
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-dariush-birth.PNG)
I have named him Sweet Pod. Dariush seems surprised, but happy. She has stopped screaming. I think she thought she was a boy, and was very surprised to have a child. For reasons I do not quite understand, I would call her Tiresias, if her name wasn't Dariush. I have forgotten why.
3rd Granite, 520
As overseer, I feel it is crucial that I make some decisions. First, I have appointed myself to all available positions in the fortress. Look how far I've come since losing the sixth-year election for school tax collector to Erib Bustcastles!
Next, I have made myself a nurse. Everyone likes nurses, right?
Finally, I have instituted a new secret society. Here are the rules:
1. You don't talk about brew/fight club.
2. You don't talk about brew/fight club.
3. When someone says stop, or goes limp, the fight is over, but the brewing must never stop.
4. Only two dwarves to a fight. Or maybe not. But definitely any number of cows.
5. One fight at a time... just ain't happening. And we need more stills for more brewing.
6. They brew and fight without shirts or shoes. In memory of Battlefailed way. Unless they have shirts or shoes. I don't.
7. The fights go on as long as they have to. Duh.
8. If this is your first night at brew/fight club, you have to fight. Everyone has to brew, or there will be a lot more fights.
Did I mention we're out of alcohol? Every adult dwarf has joined brew/fight club. I'm going to stop talking about brew/fight club and throw a bed at someone.
4th Granite, 520
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-lupusater-zerk.PNG)
Lupusater is upset that brew/fight club wasn't her idea. She has murdered her baby. Did I mention we were going to break Rule 4?
5th Granite, 520
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-frosty-kill.PNG)
Kinda sad about the way that things have come to be. Desensitized to everything.
6th Granite, 520
I walked downstairs, and looked around. This is what I saw.
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-sanloss.PNG)
As I watched, one of the toddlers stumbled past me, his eyes opening impossibly wide. And I was frightened. He said, Frosty, Frosty, hold on tight. And down we went.
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-andreus-7.PNG)
In the mountains, there you feel free.
I read, much of the night, and dream I go south in the winter.
(Away from here.)
9th Granite, 520
This is his seventh coming. He is frustrated by his body. It promises so much, and delivers so little. If we had farms, he tells me, he would do something for me.
"What are the hide roots that clutch, what branches grow out of this stony rubbish?" I tell him.
"Daughter of stone, " he tells me, "You cannot say, or guess, for you know only a heap of broken images, where no sun beats."
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
11th Granite, 520
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-frosty-insane.PNG)
I don't feel any different.
15th Granite, 520
Dariush became the nurse I could no longer be. She has a hospital now. The wounded lie about, waiting to be cared for. As for myself, I was neither living nor dead, and I knew nothing.
I asked her to bury the dead. We have a fortune in coffins. She told me to wait; there are not hands enough to bid good-bye to the dead.
At least the screaming is stopping.
21st Granite, 520
We are not alone. I am never alone. I hear them moving below.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The stegosaurid would make a lovely room ornament. The other two might be fortress-enders. I hear I can walk without tracking blood now, but I choose not to try it.
4th Slate, 520
Dariush has catalogued us, and told me who we are, and how we have been sentenced for our crimes:
- Derm: hospitalized (Beating, 51 days in prison)
- LordSlowpoke: working, happy he repeatedly stabbed Nat (Beating, 76 days in Prison)
- Dariush: working, happy as a clam about her new baby (beating, 226 days in Prison)
- Oglokoog: working, happy he murdered a horse (Beating, 526 days in prison)
- Nat: starving, needs hospitalized after "cheering up" LordSlowpoke (Beating, 526 days in prison)
- Frosty: insane and depressed (pleads insanity, suspended sentence)
16th Slate, 520
Master Andreus, famous conjurer, had a bad cold, nevertheless, is known to be the wisest wizard in Failcannon.
He tells me some migrants have arrived, despite the danger.
Do you know what he will do? He will bring back the dead, casting them into the bodies of the living.
Isn't this wrong? Too late. He's done it.
"Do you want Glacial returned?" he asks.
Do I?
I hope they build a ramp quickly to let the ghosts in before the skeletons slay them anew.
18th Slate, 520
How wonderful. The horses menacing the immigrants have skin. Everyone is inside the fortress. A child let them in.
I had not thought death would undo so few.
Welcome back, dragonshardz.
Welcome back, Felcis.
Welcome back, NightmareBros.
Welcome back, LucusCasius.
Welcome back-- no, Andreus, think of her crimes against us all!
Ah. Even the necromancer has a sense of humor.
I have given them their orders. It is time for the burial of the dead.
8th Felsite, 520
My tomb is complete. I hear the sound of ticking now.
9th Felsite, 520
With a dead sound on the final stroke of nine--
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-frosty-dies.PNG)
Post by: cappstv on October 16, 2010, 05:32:53 pm
Also I see that you found my art galley.
Post by: NightmareBros on October 18, 2010, 12:10:10 pm
Also lol at the random gallery.
Post by: cappstv on October 18, 2010, 04:02:56 pm
oh, wow.Its not random! ITS CULTURE!
Also lol at the random gallery.
Post by: Glacial on October 18, 2010, 10:29:17 pm
into...
or am I rotting (http://sadpanda.us/images/212736-BU4BQPK.png) from within?
1st Hematite, 520
The Chair he sat in, like a burnished throne,
Glowed on the schist--
and in it sat a child of two, eyes glittering like jewels.
"Andreus," I said, trying out my strange voice, muffled by my strange beard, hiding my strange face.
"Glacial," the child answered. "Frosty did not wish me to bring you back--"
"But that is how it is done, here in Failcannon," I finished his sentence. "What day is it?"
"Fetus Head Smash Festival."
I think we are in rats' alley
(Frosty whispers)
Where the dead men lost their bones.
Welcome back, Glacial.
Welcome back, Lupusater.
1st Hematite, 520
I found Frosty's journal, and Andreus shared his notes since her death, filling in the gap of a month. I have preserved Andreus's original writing; it seems that the other fortress-inmates are only letting him draw with crayons. "You could fall on it and hurt yourself!" they tell him when he asks for a pen.
That may be the only way he has yet to die here.
The Abbreviated Journal of Andreus VII, Crayola Edition
11th Felsite, 520
Elves arrive. Would mock them but almost out of red crayon.
19th Felsite, 520
Skeletal buzzards invade the fortress. Xellas takes care of six of them.
Then zombie buzzards invade the fortress. Felcis and Xellas deal with them.
26th Felsite, 520
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-party.PNG)
cappstv's tradition is catching on. Reminded people: am toddler, not fetus.
Andreus feels that, for Failcannon, everything is remarkably peaceful.
...
I should have worried more.
3rd Hematite, 520
Frosty missed a forgotten beast in her original catalog. It's interrupting the festivities, but has not found a way into Failcannon proper. Fortunately, I don't think it can fly.
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-fb4.PNG)
2nd Malachite, 520
Over the past month, I've taken to hunting skeletal groundhogs and zombie horses while the migrants raise a defensive wall and build new bridges. cappstv insists there's a bridge, but he also insists it was responsible for the deaths of most of the fortress's dwarves, so I have ordered a new bridge to be built. I'm only humoring him because I was already dead when he turned the fortress into an abattoir.
There are a set of microcline-kaolinite-cobaltite levers in the entry hall, near the depot. They raise a trio of one-dwarf-wide bridges from the hill down to the beach. North of them is a jet bridge, controlled by a jet lever north of the other three levers. It controls a third bridge that restricts access into an entry corridor.
When I gathered the other dwarves to explain my plan for the entry corridor, they were sceptical.
"Combining a cage with a mechanism?" someone scoffed. "What do you think that'll do?"
"Bah," another dwarf added. "Next you'll want to link ten lethal metal disks to a mechanism and call it a weapon trap! Who do you think you're fooling?"
Despite their resistance, I have gone forward with my plan. With NightmareBros' assistance, we have created something new in Failcannon. I call it a "cage trap."
5th Hematite, 520
Zathel, possessed, delivered this gem of the bonecrafter's art:
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-zathel-artifact.PNG)
I've taken to carrying it.
8th Hematite, 520
Fresh drinking water has been created inside. There's a cobaltite pump that draws it from an aquifer-flooded room. It's manually operated, for reasons of not flooding the rest of the fortress.
12th Malachite, 520
The masons raising the new wall around the fortress reported a half-dozen undead horses on the eastern border of our territory today. We've dispatched several individual undead horses; this will be a good chance to prove the strength of our new military. I've ordered both squads -- marksdwarves and axedwarves -- into the field against them.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ta ta. Goonight. Goonight.
Post by: Glacial on October 18, 2010, 11:50:55 pm
The rattle of the bones, and chuckle spread from ear to ear.
22nd Malachite, 520
"I tried a number of... different things," Andreus confessed as I opened my eyes in a new body. "Forbidden things. But each time the threads of fate converged, and you died again. As did the others."
What would it be like to die and live and die and live and die and live again? Could even the necromancer grow tired of it?
"What about the others?" I asked Andreus. "Did you bring them back?"
Andreus frowned. "I can't. Your niece -- Frosty -- is interfering somehow. She is standing in the gap."
I posed the obvious question, "And yet you brought me back."
Andreus glowered, scrunching up his little face. "I know. It seems to be your turn."
When she was two, Frosty had dimples.
23rd Malachite, 520
Three more undead horses joined the herd shortly after our forces engaged the first half-dozen. Individually, the horses had been easy prey previously, but this time, it was different. First, and not for the first time in recent dwarven history, our marksdwarves decided to hit the horses with their crossbows, rather than shoot bolts at them. Second, I underestimated the ability of the skeletal horses to knock dwarves down.
Particularly me.
It felt like days of the same thing: knocked down, I would be driven backwards, and though I would block with Lithrushlolum, my groundhog bone shield, I would neither have a chance to stand or counterattack before a skeletal horse would knock me down or drive me back again. In that body, I became a pretty good shield dwarf before I finally met my end.
I made a token effort to rebuild the military, but there are very few dwarves I can spare. The wall is not yet complete, and below, there are several breaches into the caverns that need to be sealed. Felcis, having missed the entire engagement while looking for socks, is now in charge of the military.
24th Malachite, 520
I've ordered work started on a magma forge complex. It will take some time to complete with the labor available, but we will need it to arm our next military, whomever they might be.
7th Galena, 520
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-fb5.PNG)
This one is a flier. Also, a fly.
It's time to see how thoroughly I've had the caverns sealed.
10th Galena, 520
Well enough, it seems. Oce Omsosuja has taken to wandering the caverns purposelessly instead of coming to bring Failcannon to an end.
17th Galena, 520
A human caravan has--
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-kobold-ambush.PNG)
Andreus rails, "Again! Again! Kobolds above, great flies beneath! A curse upon fate, that repeats the same story! Let there at least be a new doom, gods!"
I am too busy grabbing whatever weapons are at hand. The kobolds are inside the fortress.
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-kobold-party.PNG)
18th Galena, 520
Nat, our mayor, has finally moved from the depot corner where he has lain, gravely injured, since LordSlowpoke stabbed him when Frosty was still alive. Rest in peace, Nat -- you were the most undemanding mayor I've ever known.
Dariush, congratulations on becoming mayor! The kobolds fulfilled your first (unofficial) mandate for a whole bunch of arrows, largely in your spleen.
In addition to Nat, the kobolds brought down a recruit.
21st Galena, 520
The kobolds drove off the humans, naturally. Annoyingly, they did so without bringing down a single pack animal.
It's time to seal the gates and lick our wounds. 25 dwarves remain; we cannot afford to lose any more dwarves working on the wall.
23rd Galena, 520
The kobolds injured a half-dozen dwarves. I have created a team of dwarf therapists focused on medical work, only to discover that all my therapists were among the wounded. Fine: everyone's on hospital duty.
Flagro was possessed just before the battle. He produced a dull reward.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
2nd Timber, 520
Massive medical efforts are paying off. Dariush is out of the hospital and repairing her dehydrated state.
5th Timber, 520
And Oglokoog is out of the hospital. That leaves one therapist in the hospital, needing 4 splints.
In other news...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
For the love of Lur, future overseers, don't open the lower caverns!
8th Timber, 520
For the first time in my reign, I have an empty hospital.
Flagro and Felcis constitute the fortress military. I've sent them up onto the partial walls a few times now to take pot shots at roaming undead horses. Until more immigrants come, the surface beyond our walled beach is out of our reach.
14th Timber, 520
Oglokoog has died from infection, after leaving the hospital in apparent good health. I've ordered the old hospital torn down and replaced.
Outside, I've heard there is a goblin ambush party. It's not my problem: I'm not letting anyone in or out, so they'll have to occupy themselves with skeletal groundhogs.
19th Timber, 520
The dwarven caravan has arrived!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The outpost liaison chose a wiser route; I let him in. I'm not bothering to open the door again. We'll have no more caravans this year.
1st Moonstone, 520
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-winter-party.PNG)
I shouldn't be talking about brew/fight club, but Tyler, the head since Frosty died, decided to organize a party to celebrate everyone not being dead. She even invited those of us who have been dead. You should've seen Andreus and cappstv knock back the dwarven ale.
I'm glad we have farms again.
17th Moonstone, 520
There are no more goblins above: a skeleton horse herd trampled the three remaining ambushers.
19th Opal, 520
dragonshardz gave birth to a boy. I think she's my wife.
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-dragonshardz-birth.PNG)
Hooray, I'm a father. Didn't I start out a woman?
Andreus tells me I'll get over the confusion.
14th Obsidian, 520
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-clothartifact.PNG)
Andreus, upon seeing the face veil, grew ecstatic. "This is it!" he yelled. "This is what I need!"
I pointed out that he wouldn't be able to wear it until he was a grown-up, and he headbutted me in the nuts. Ow.
I think he's working out the advantages of being sixteen inches tall.
28th Obsidian, 520
Inevitably, a new goblin ambush emerged on the last day before I hand over leadership of the fort. There is a bow squad parked in the northwest corner of our territory. I don't see that there's much to be done, other than to hope the skeletal horses get them.
My time commanding Failcannon is at an end, and I leave the fort stable, but underpopulated. The hospital is empty, and there are no dwarves throwing tantrums. There are drinks and food; there are walls, doors, and bridges linked to levers.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The magma forges are operational, but there are not enough dwarves to run them efficiently.
One area I'm concerned about is the cavern breach I refer to as "F8". I noticed this late in my reign, and have partially replaced the up/down stairs with up stairs, preventing fliers from coming up them. The project is not complete, though. As one of their first orders, I strongly recommend the next overseer finish it, before one of the flying forgotten beasts comes in.
(http://traveler.sub-atomic.com/~fianna/df/Failcannon/fc-breach-f8.PNG)
Finally, on the beach level, I have built a tree farm and begun work on a device I refer to as "Failcannon II".
Fear death by water
I believe any overseer worth his pick will know what needs done there.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I sat upon the shore
Fishing, with the arid plain behind me
Shall I at least set my lands in order?
Post by: Nat on October 19, 2010, 04:31:57 am
Nat, our mayor, has finally moved from the depot corner where he has lain, gravely injured, since LordSlowpoke stabbed him when Frosty was still alive. Rest in peace, Nat -- you were the most undemanding mayor I've ever known.
All I wanted was something to eat, maybe someone to help me clean up all this blood...
Post by: dragonshardz on October 19, 2010, 11:36:37 am
...*brain asplodes*...
Post by: Cheese on October 19, 2010, 01:13:38 pm
Post by: Glacial on October 19, 2010, 03:29:23 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on October 20, 2010, 01:28:09 am
And good call on sealing the cavern before Stuzang's cousin killed everyone. So far we're living up to the original mission statement. Maybe we can even make it to the end of the turn list! I've knocked on wood.
Post by: hellbored on October 20, 2010, 05:56:40 am
Post by: LordSlowpoke on October 20, 2010, 02:46:33 pm
And Nat, no hard feelings, right?
Post by: Glacial on October 20, 2010, 04:52:20 pm
LordSlowpoke finished off the last of the undead horse army as well. I think there were two or three left when Glacial was being chain-stunned and I called in everyone. The brew/fight club are pretty much all badassed.
Post by: cappstv on October 20, 2010, 05:25:24 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on October 20, 2010, 09:42:09 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Glacial on October 22, 2010, 11:30:11 am
Post by: Oglokoog on October 22, 2010, 02:16:00 pm
I'll try not to disappoint, but don't expect much in the way of RPing.
Post by: Oglokoog on October 23, 2010, 02:43:58 pm
1st Granite 521
I awoke this morning ("morning" being a rather meaningless word, of course, considering we are underground) only to find out that I have been chosen (by who?) to lead this fortress for the entire next year. I don't even know how I know this. I just do. So, I took a short break from my usual schedule of weaving thread into cloth and started pretending to "oversee" things around the fortress. I don't know what I'm actually supposed to do, so I just walked around the fortress trying to look all important.
Here's what I noticed:
- everyone seems to be pretty happy, which is good
- everyone is actually only about twenty-five dwarves... I thought there was more of us.
- we have a pretty extensive magma forge complex, but not enough dwarfpower to actually use its full potential
- there is a hole into the caverns which looks like a forgotten beast might fit through it
We also seem to have enough food and drink to last us quite a while, but I don't know whether we have enough cooks and brewers to expand the stocks should we deplete them.
How the hell should I know what day it is?
There are goblins outside. In fact, there have been goblins outside for quite a while, but only now does it matter.
Migrants have arrived. I wanted to just open the door for them to get inside, but the two military dwarves we have sternly denied any possibility of that happening (they are soldiers by name only anyway... they pretend to train sometimes, but I think they actually just sit around in the barracks when nobody is looking. They aren't properly armored or in any way combat-ready, as far as I can tell.). I really wish we had a proper military.
Well anyway, we tried shouting at the new arrivals to run away, but by the time they heard us, it was too late - the goblins noticed them. It was a massacre. Some of them, however managed to get close to the door, so I convinced the "soldiers" to open it just for a moment. They did, but in the ensuing chaos hellbored, our manager, wandered outside and before I could do anything, the goblins got too close and the soldiers forced me to close the door again. There was nothing we could do.
The five dwarves that managed to get inside (out of the total of twelve that arrived) were in quite bad shape, but our doctors seem to be taking care of them... acceptably. It seems that at least some of them might survive. I talked to them and none of them possess any particularly useful skills (which, I would imagine, is the reason they were desperate enough to travel to this deathtrap of a fortress), but that doesn't matter. We need any dwarves that we can get.
I really have no idea what day it is. Honestly. Not like it matters anyway.
An elven caravan arrived. Since the last entry, the goblins have left, but another two squads arrived to take their place. It doesn't seem like they will leave us alone anytime soon. The elves got slaughtered and we could only watch. I really, really wish we had a real army instead of these two good-for-nothings.
There are, however, good news! Four of the five wounded dwarves are alive and well and have already started working. The last one is still in bed, but it seems like the doctors might be able to fix him up as well.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: cappstv on October 23, 2010, 04:05:03 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on October 23, 2010, 05:11:42 pm
Outside, however... today, a goblin invasion, a small force of kobold bowmen and a human caravan collided just west of our wall. Unlike the stupid elves, the humans actually brought some weapons and people to use them so they fought back and even killed some of the filthy
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Glacial on October 23, 2010, 07:37:13 pm
Good call on the stone stockpile near it. I wish I'd thought to do that.
Post by: hellbored on October 24, 2010, 06:27:48 am
This really is Fun.
Post by: Oglokoog on October 24, 2010, 06:55:57 am
Now there's a hill titan. Sealing off the outer wall isn't hard, but it can fucking swim. I savescummed (I saved the game when it entered the map), but building a wall across the entire length of the beach isn't doable, so I'll have to come up with some other solution.
The next update might actually have some screenshots! :D
Post by: Oglokoog on October 25, 2010, 01:18:31 pm
Actually, scratch that last part. This morning I woke up in cold sweat. I saw the titan swimming in the Blueness of Malodors, approaching the unprotected shore, entering the fortress and slaughtering every single one of us. Just as its poisonous spine was about to pierce my heart, I awoke.
I bolted out of my room (which is quite nice, though in no way as grandiose as some of the previous overseers' ones) and found one of the soldiers looking at the sea.
"Where is the titan?" I asked.
"It just jumped into the sea. I didn't know hill titans could swim," replied the soldier.
Oh god.
"Tell everyone to stop whatever they're doing and start building a wall from there to that other end."
"Yes, lady."
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The wall is finished. The titan simply can't get in now and neither can anything else.
Another two caravans arrived and we could do nothing but watch them get slaughtered by the titan. Then, however, the goblins returned. Half the fortress gathered on the wall to watch as the titan noticed them and attacked.
Well, as much as I loathe the greenskins, I have to say they gave the titan a good ass-kicking. It did kill a few of them before it fell, though.
A possessed dwarf then went mad. I barely even noticed that he was possessed and assumed we had enough of everything to satisfy his needs. Turns out that wasn't the case and one of the dwarves preemptively installed a door in the entrance to the workshop he was scribbling away in. I wanted them to remove the door at first, but his subsequent mad babbling convinced me that it's probably best to just leave him be. His mind is broken.
A few days before the end of winter, another dwarf has withdrawn from society. I don't really know what he's up to, but I certainly hope we have enough materials for the completion of his (no doubt magnificient) work.
The save is here (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3328). Some details and notes for the next overseers follow.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Oglokoog on October 25, 2010, 01:19:47 pm
It would be pretty great if we managed to make the fortress survive until then.
Post by: NightmareBros on October 25, 2010, 03:42:45 pm
Hopefully not with Vice Christ folowing him, though.
Post by: dragonshardz on October 25, 2010, 05:31:10 pm
I'll get started soon.
Post by: Glacial on October 25, 2010, 06:16:17 pm
dragonshardz, I used DWARF FORTRESS 0.31.16.
Post by: Oglokoog on October 25, 2010, 06:35:29 pm
Post by: hellbored on October 26, 2010, 05:32:13 am
Post by: Lupusater on October 27, 2010, 09:37:31 am
Post by: Cheese on October 28, 2010, 05:49:24 am
Post by: Oglokoog on October 28, 2010, 08:33:15 am
Post by: Narua on October 29, 2010, 02:25:18 pm
After 3-4 days real-days he was 6 DF-days into his 2-year job as overseer. I don't think he's going to make it.
Incidentally, I'd love to be included in this. Never posted in these forums before, but I'd love to give it a shot if there's a spot or at least be dorfed.
Anyone have a link ti a style guide so that if I do get to play I don't post poorly?
Edited for clarification. Doubleedit: Took a look at the list of people waiting to oversee, and I doubt I'll remember to check back regularly enough to see when I'd be coming up which would be months from now, so nevermind that.
Post by: NightmareBros on October 29, 2010, 03:24:35 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 29, 2010, 04:26:36 pm
Post by: Cheese on October 30, 2010, 05:22:22 am
Post by: dragonshardz on October 30, 2010, 06:24:56 pm
If that's not workable, can I take the slot after LordSlowpoke?
Post by: cappstv on October 30, 2010, 10:04:10 pm
On the anniversary of Queen Led's death all the kids dress up in disguises to hide from her very angry ghost.
Then they go around the village asking for candy to celebrate the fact that she is dead. Jack o' Lanterns are carved because she despised pumpkins.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on November 01, 2010, 01:52:34 pm
Post by: dragonshardz on November 01, 2010, 01:55:37 pm
Nah, s'cool. I needs a break from DF anyways. I'll cross-link my other game when I do my turn.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on November 01, 2010, 03:16:08 pm
Journal start; 1.01.522, in order with protocol FBS-41
After awakening from the mood inducted by standard nondescriptionary measures, I have been introduced to the VBS project.
Nobody told me what would happen. Maybe it's better off for me. Avuz himself knows what I am able to do now.
First things first. I need to decrypt the orders given. Hopefully they'll contain a clue...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Cheese on November 05, 2010, 11:00:01 am
Post by: Oglokoog on November 05, 2010, 01:00:13 pm
EDIT: Maybe someone (don't look at me) should do some sort of intermission? I think he'll come back and finish his turn, but in the meantime, we could entertain ourselves with something else, like... I don't know, Stonesense screenshots, an adventure mode tour of the fortress (you'd have to jump down from the wall to do that, though, as there's (as of the end of my turn) no other way in), some RP'ing from some of the dorfed people... the possibilites are wide.
Or at least post some suggestions as to what should be done (I would say that making armor and actually killing some more goblins would be a good idea). Come on, we shouldn't rely on updates like that :D
Post by: NightmareBros on November 05, 2010, 03:23:45 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on November 05, 2010, 06:01:50 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on November 05, 2010, 06:47:18 pm
okay, okay, fine, I'll try to differenciate next time.
Although I still think the terms are interchang-
NightmareBros has been struck down
Post by: LordSlowpoke on November 06, 2010, 06:51:29 am
And I'm not planning to put Lucas and his adamantine/slade liking mood in IC. Hells no. So consider yourself dead, mate.
Post by: Lucus Casius on November 06, 2010, 07:01:51 am
Redorf me when you have a chance, then.
Post by: Cheese on November 07, 2010, 06:13:06 am
Post by: dragonshardz on November 07, 2010, 07:23:41 am
Post by: nordak on November 07, 2010, 07:11:18 pm
Edit:
The original version? The tileset in use is hard for me to read... colors blend too much. Impressive, the only reccomendation I could add for slow is to train up some marksmen and build towers with fortifications along the northern entrance and lure the gobs in.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 07, 2010, 08:12:01 pm
Post by: LordSlowpoke on November 08, 2010, 08:13:23 am
Basically, I've got everything I wanted done and it isn't even summer, dammit. I'm hereby accepting all possible suggestions on things to make via PM (but at least try to make it understandable, will you).
Everything outside is off-limits.
Post by: NightmareBros on November 08, 2010, 10:05:05 am
Post by: Oglokoog on November 08, 2010, 10:53:39 am
Post by: Glacial on November 09, 2010, 10:19:50 pm
Post by: Nat on November 09, 2010, 10:48:58 pm
Post by: Twobeard on November 10, 2010, 08:23:41 am
Post by: Oglokoog on November 10, 2010, 01:54:47 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 10, 2010, 01:56:51 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on November 10, 2010, 09:49:40 pm
Post by: LordSlowpoke on November 11, 2010, 05:52:37 am
Code: [Select]
Maintenance terminal. Insert beard signature to continue.
Scanning...
Welcome to the Independence Network, Lord Slowpoke. [24.03.22/15:44 Urist Standard]
>connect
Communications dish unavailable. [24.03.22/15:51 Urist Standard]
>logout
Logging out...
Have a dwarven day.
Maintenance terminal. Insert beard signature to continue.
The machine grinds into inactivity, it's stone gears clicking, yet unheard due to a horde of dwarves working above.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Oglokoog on November 12, 2010, 05:23:36 am
Post by: Glacial on November 12, 2010, 09:29:10 pm
I'd like to be dwarfed this time if and when possible, preferably just called Eric, and any stable, non-dangerous job
We call that job 'Deceased' in most succession forts.
Post by: NightmareBros on November 12, 2010, 09:43:47 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
In other news, Beard-signiture is going to be my new security system. You can't beat it.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 12, 2010, 09:51:40 pm
Post by: LordSlowpoke on November 15, 2010, 11:31:57 am
Code: [Select]
...
>connect
Communications dish detected. Attempting to connect...
Connected.
>load board/failcannon
/failcannon
>srtfile rep1
File created.
>load board/main/textedit board/failcannon/rep1
[STX] - Report of Lord Slowpoke, fortress overseer,
20.06.522
I apologize for the delay in reports, but the vil
lage didn't have a communications dish available.
Herein, I confirm that I have established control
of the facility, I am able to report, and shall do
so.
Case one: Clearing the aboveground
As it was known, the plain area above the settleme
nt of Battlefailed was almost literally covered i
n goblins, kobolds, undead animals and corpses. M
y plan for their undoing is described in the atta
chment as a separate status report.
Before we had a chance to use it, the goblins kil
led the kobolds, and did the same to the "skelks"
, as the locals call them. I shall refer to them
in that way from now.
Some progress on the magma cannon was made, but t
here's a problem with the general ocean-caverns w
ater movement, so I'll leave it for the skilled t
echnicians you'll send for us next year. Currentl
y, six are dead, nobody important, but the death
toll is going right up due to failures of the las
t overseers.
P.S. I'll kill the guy who sent me a machine wit
h a 50 character limit. - [ETX]
>send report/standard
>logout
Logging out...
Have a dwarven day.
A lone dwarf leaves, his mind pondering.
A lost soul wanders, waiting for what happens...
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 15, 2010, 01:10:46 pm
Post by: Mekboy on November 15, 2010, 03:15:06 pm
Magma cannons.
Post by: NightmareBros on November 16, 2010, 02:23:52 pm
Quote
This is the true Battlefailed way.It'll only be the Battlefailed way if it fails spectaculary and floods the fort with magma.
Magma cannons.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on November 16, 2010, 04:26:24 pm
QuoteThis is the true Battlefailed way.It'll only be the Battlefailed way if it fails spectaculary and floods the fort with magma.
Magma cannons.
...Actually, it already managed to flood the fort with water from the aquifer (OH GOD WHY WASN'T I INFORMED THAT IT EXISTS AT ALL) because I wanted to drain water from the ocean to offmap, create flow, and get a semi-legit power source that way.
Hell, I abandoned the magma cannon project to reclaim the aboveground once and for all.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 16, 2010, 06:03:37 pm
EDIT:
While digging the new dining room we encountered a slight problem.Spoiler (click to show/hide)Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Damnit, aquifier! Luckily no-one drowned, as I had the foresight to install doors.
Post by: Oglokoog on November 17, 2010, 09:33:58 am
Hehehe, one of the updates mentioned the aquifer flooding the planned dining hall.Yeah, I noticed that when I was playing. Was wondering how it happened, now I know :D
EDIT:While digging the new dining room we encountered a slight problem.Spoiler (click to show/hide)Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Damnit, aquifier! Luckily no-one drowned, as I had the foresight to install doors.
Post by: Mekboy on November 17, 2010, 02:48:38 pm
I forgot we had it, so this is pretty much what happened:
'Digging designation cancelled: damp stone'
"I wonder what that's from. Maybe I should make a ramp up to see...
ohgodwhy."
Post by: SethCreiyd on November 20, 2010, 03:17:49 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
edit: spoil'd for length
Post by: Tupu on November 21, 2010, 05:20:39 pm
I think I've been reading them for a week now...
You can add me to the most likely long list of lurkers waiting for dorfing.
name: Tupu
profession: military (any weapon goes, as long as it's a weapon...) or anything you'd prefer
EDIT: This is actually my first community/succession fort that wasn't finished when I got to the end....
Post by: LordSlowpoke on November 22, 2010, 09:01:41 am
Quote
This one, I will write on paper form. The machine is broken hopelessly.
This is I, Lord Slowpoke, at 22 Sandstone. Pretty much my last report as the overseer.
While the Protocol granted me many powers, which I am still unable to fully describe... the occult have been coming. Ghostkind, to be specific. Dreams which I can't understand at all, which forced me to double my booze intake.
Nevertheless, the grandiose plan of reclaiming the aboveground is far from complete. We do not simply have the resources to pump magma to the essential systems, and water proved to be ineffective - the installation has been dismantled and forgotten, yet the invading goblins and kobolds have been dispatched once more.
Today, I am finished with the mechanisms, the plans, the eternal schemes. I have earned my title. I have earned everything I needed in life, until now. It is time to don the finest armor and weapons I can find, and become not just Lord Slowpoke.
I am become The Great.
The Savior of Dwarfkind is just too overused.
-LordSlowpoke
Post by: LordSlowpoke on November 22, 2010, 03:33:22 pm
Total dwarven deaths - 13, none of those were really important.
Total deaths - about 160, 180.
Artifacts produced - two, moods failed - one.
The rest's available on the spot at the save. (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3467)
Cheers.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 22, 2010, 09:27:24 pm
Post by: dragonshardz on November 22, 2010, 11:42:47 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on November 23, 2010, 06:47:27 am
Could you post the z screen, please? How many dwarves do we have now?
Post by: LordSlowpoke on November 25, 2010, 03:45:06 pm
I'm gonna take the liberty of bumping this and PMing Nat to download the save, since it seems that without such stuff this thread'll die. No offense, Urist
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 25, 2010, 09:42:47 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on November 26, 2010, 05:34:25 pm
Post by: Groveller on November 27, 2010, 02:44:06 am
Post by: Nat on November 27, 2010, 07:25:22 am
I am not sure what I am going to do, but I am aiming at finishing my turn in 3-7 days, depending on how much of a chaotic mess the place is.
Sorry for the delay - <GenericLameExcuse>
Post by: Groveller on November 27, 2010, 11:57:44 pm
Post by: Nat on November 30, 2010, 03:55:06 am
In true failcannon style, a magma-related device I constructed failed hilariously. I was trying to make a simple thing to drop junk into magma to destroy it, but instead the pile of rocks I was testing it with were thrown all around the room. I think the fact that the dwarf who pulled the lever tends to run over the hole on the way out was pretty poor planning on my part too. Luckily though, I haven't actually managed to kill anyone with this yet.
I'll update with the full story and name dwarves at the end of my turn. There are a bunch spare at the moment but hey, this is Dwarf Fortress. I've already lost 2 dwarves due to completely ignoring everything that's already happened in this place.
Post by: Nat on November 30, 2010, 09:43:20 pm
Quick summary:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I am now hard at work writing up the story of what happened. Expect it to take 2
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 30, 2010, 10:29:16 pm
Post by: Nat on November 30, 2010, 11:24:13 pm
Also, I just realised I forgot to name the dwarves, there's 18 or so free so the next player should be able to clear out some of that to-be-dorfed list.
Post by: Cheese on December 02, 2010, 04:15:08 pm
Post by: EmeraldWind on December 03, 2010, 03:28:56 am
STOP DIEING!!Why? It all in good !!FUN!!, amiright?
Besides these kinds of forts are only successful when their not successful. It is the Battlefailed way: Go down burning or die trying!
Requesting dorfing, my forum name, please. I hope for an interesting death at least. I prefer to be remembered for dying interestingly as opposed to living in obscurity. :P
Post by: NightmareBros on December 03, 2010, 07:51:20 pm
Shall we wait til the end of the week untill we move onto Andreus?
Post by: Pisano on December 05, 2010, 09:19:28 am
Post by: NightmareBros on December 07, 2010, 06:01:35 pm
... shall we wait till Friday-ish for him before we move on?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 08, 2010, 09:12:26 am
Post by: NightmareBros on December 10, 2010, 09:43:25 am
Skip to the next guy?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 10, 2010, 11:09:30 am
Also, what's the latest Andreus dwarf?
EDIT: whoops, forgot. Forward and onward.
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 10, 2010, 07:51:55 pm
Update: We had a migrant wave. I don't know what to say:
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2edm4gj.png)
There are many unclaimed dwarves, for those who want one.
Post by: Lucus Casius on December 11, 2010, 10:01:03 am
Lucus, the Third Hand!
Post by: Lupusater on December 11, 2010, 10:44:10 am
Post by: LordSlowpoke on December 11, 2010, 11:11:19 am
I shoulda be proud right now.
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 11, 2010, 01:28:20 pm
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2llzzah.png)
(http://i52.tinypic.com/rmmh4n.png)
Journal of Sethrist Cosmopaddles, 12 Granite
All is quiet, for the moment. The Plains of Ooze have been empty of the undead these last few days. We had no trouble reaching the gate of Failcannon.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/xdypvc.png)
He is here. I can feel it, no matter what body he's hiding in this time. After all these years, here he is at last. He's not going to escape this time.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/oo0g4.png)
I've learned a great deal since our last meeting. If I can manage to surprise him, it will be easy. But first I had to establish a legal means to the authority necessary to carry out my task. This fortress lacked a Captain of the Guard, until now. The baroness had no choice but to acknowledge my case. Any proper barony requires proper law enforcement.
There is one thing I can thank the sorcerer for. From him I learned a valuable lesson.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/15zgwn5.png)
Take what you need.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2s6ofad.png)
Things are going to change around here.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/maca5l.png)
Post by: Dariush on December 11, 2010, 01:52:10 pm
You allowed me to get killed?! You won't get away with this... YOU WON'T.
Oh well, could you please at least redorf me, this time as the best soldier the fortress has? And give him nick... 'Dariush II'. Yes, that sounds suitably epic. Also, suitable burial (with statues, no less!) for my old incarnation. Maybe you'll possess a small chance of getting away with it in this case ;D
Post by: Glacial on December 11, 2010, 08:07:09 pm
Burning burning burning burning
Post by: rampaging-poet on December 12, 2010, 05:29:49 am
SethCreiyd, you said there were a number of unclaimed dwarves. Could you please dwarf me? Name of "Poet", no particular preference for gender or occupation.
Also, Groveller, you've been sigged.
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 13, 2010, 11:00:50 am
----------
As dangerous as it was, those occasions when it was profitable were so much so that Elven merchants had braved the journey to Failcannon year after year, risking life and limb in the hopes of a lucrative haul.
The danger was never understanded to those who dared such a journey, and it therefore came with little surprise but moderate disappointment for the traders when the dwarves coming out to meet them suddenly raised their weapons and attacked.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/jpjy85.png)
(http://i56.tinypic.com/9gzjn8.png)
(http://i56.tinypic.com/9gzjn8.png)
The caravan did not survive, but other elves would return the next year. They always did.
* * *
In the shallows south of Failcannon, a pod of whales swam about their lives in perfect obliviousness to the carnage of the lands above. For them, the Blueness of Malodors was a cozy place with warm currents and plenty of food. That the water smelled of cat piss never bothered them too much.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/iqfzv9.png)
The Blueness of Malodors is truly not so bad compared to the sea of filth below.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2iber1x.png)
Where once sat a pure aquifer beneath the Plains of Ooze now lies an ocean of poison, spawning pool of a legion of abominations howling in agony and rage untempered by reason as they putrefy in the mire.
Yet deeper still, there are cries of a different kind - jubilation.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/y2w5w.png)
* * *
Journal of Sethrist Cosmopaddles, Alchemist
Zathel, leader of the local Miner's Guild, was killed today during a scuffle with one of the soldiers. Xenos was reprimanded. We can't be killing off too many valuable personnel.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2udvmet.png)
Specifically, skilled miners. The truemetal is vitally important to my work. The natural magnetism of the stone here makes detection of psychic signatures too difficult for me to pinpoint the sorcerer. In recognition of the advantage this has given me as well, it must be my advantage alone, and these adamantine caverns are the key.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2ez5v1z.png)
They'll be quarters fit for royalty, but before royalty gets here, I intend to make full use of them. The military and the gentry can use the ore as they see fit, it is of little interest to me.
The previous mayor was given a funeral befitting a noble of his station. I later exhumed the corpse to extract all the blood, which was cycled into the bloodstream of a soldier who I am now referring to as 'Dariush II.' I hope to determine that blood is a working conduit of personality.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/157zy9l.png)
That's odd. I could have sworn I heard something.
Anyway, the discovery of adamantine has lent legitimacy to my bid for power. The countess is impressed, and although
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2ivcqds.png)
PROBLEM!
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2cnb2np.png)
Derm. I hardly knew him...
(http://i51.tinypic.com/30ndrph.png)
...before today. I must keep an eye on him.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/rji4v7.png)
To explain: Derm, a leatherworker of little renown, had been attacked by an enormous blood of flame in a hallway near the second cavern. This incident is reflective of a massive lapse in security that will take valuable time to deal with. I'm considering the appointment of a new Captain of the Guard, but it must be someone loyal, someone trustworthy.
Back to where I was. The countess was impressed, and though I have only been at my post the better part of a month, it was easy to convince her to let me --
(http://i55.tinypic.com/6i73nl.png)
What in the name of --
(http://i52.tinypic.com/euiw5y.png)
Another monster sighting, this time it's a vicious white lobster. The soldiers are arming now, and as Captain of the Guard, it falls on me to lead them.
Gods damn it all.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/fkxrfp.png)
The lobster scrambled down the stairs and happened upon a hapless mason who was finishing up a security bridge in the area. The fellow was ripped apart in seconds. Seeing her friend torn to pieces, a nearby swordsdwarf cursed the beast and charged it, only to be killed just as fast.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/wrxcpl.png)
Down in the old quarry, Derm had been placing food in a stockpile when the beast skittered into the hall, followed by myself and half a dozen armed dwarves. He was a new addition to the Fortress Guard, and aside from his encounter with the blob of flame, this was his first experience with combat.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/zufpcz.png)
Derm steeled himself and approached, spear at the ready. He waited for the beast to spot him before springing the attack.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/k0hk75.png)
A good punch to the head, and the lobster was dead. At this rate I may need to give Derm a house.
As I was saying: I had no trouble convincing the Baroness to allow me to place furnishings in the mined vein of adamantine. My plan draws ever closer to completion.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/10wp3yv.png)
By the gods, these dwarves are disgusting. On my way up from the smithy I passed through a hallway doused ceiling-to-floor in vomit. Someone's going in chains for this. What kind of jerk just gets sick and leaves it for someone else to...
(http://i53.tinypic.com/j93ous.jpg)
Post by: Dermonster on December 13, 2010, 11:14:26 am
Quote from: Seth
Undiluted awesome.
FUCK YEAH!
Screw the odds, I PUNCH CHANCE IN THE FACE AND STEAL HER STUFF!
Post by: Zeocin on December 13, 2010, 12:23:45 pm
Post by: Dermonster on December 13, 2010, 12:29:10 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 13, 2010, 01:36:58 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 13, 2010, 02:07:29 pm
You are more deserving of my username than I.
You say that now...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 13, 2010, 04:44:16 pm
(http://i52.tinypic.com/vh84ud.jpg)
I am throwing up every five minutes. It's been like this for a week, so that's how long it's been since I slept. My guts emptied themselves long ago, now all that comes up is bile.
This all started when I got that lobster's goo all over me. If Derm and I survive this ordeal, I'm going to harm him. I'm certain that the monster's blood is toxic, and responsible for the stomach ailment vexing a sixth of the populace.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2qxm7p5.jpg)
Six dwarves have been stationed in the hospital area. Their only task is to clean away blood, vomit, and any other residue that may be contaminated. They may leave only to eat.
The implications of this disturb me. Fortress records indicate there are many strange similar entities in the caverns around us. Was a creature such as this lobster responsible for the plague that ruined Battlefailed? Was such a creature responsible for its mysterious failure?
(http://i51.tinypic.com/16ga2wx.jpg)
I made sure that there's no way for THAT to get into the fort.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2uh75zl.jpg)
Foul kinsman of Stuzang, the infernal mayfly tore up the stairwell, bent on killing everything in sight. Fortunately, a young soldier named Urist had other plans.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2r7lyt2.jpg)
At last, we've completed the necessary security bridges, so that means no more unnanounced guests. With any luck, we can now proceed to --
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2vamh06.jpg)
(http://i55.tinypic.com/ifwh74.jpg)
(http://i55.tinypic.com/ifwh74.jpg)
WHAAT!?
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2ilg1gw.jpg)
Urist came across this monstrosity stinging Cheese in the torso repeatedly while the poor dwarf lay helpless in the monster's claws. The scorpion continued its attack on Cheese despite Urist's assault, until finally:
(http://i55.tinypic.com/r7siti.jpg)
NOW then, can we actually get back to work?
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2n876e1.png)
Of course not!
(http://i54.tinypic.com/6ih5ph.png)
This fortress will be the death of me.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2hs3vuu.png)
The creature headed straight for the smithy. Urist was there, dressing in new equipment, and was the first to engage the monster.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/29b2dq8.png)
(http://i51.tinypic.com/14e9csp.png)
(http://i51.tinypic.com/14e9csp.png)
It seems that it was wise to provide the soldiers with truemetal. The results have been spectacular. And now, at long last, after an entire day of fighting wretched abominations from the deep, the halls have grown quiet. The danger has passed.
Scouts have unearthed an ancient structure near the stairwell. The passage leads to a great underground sea of pearly white 'stuff.' I need to find out what it does.
The stench was overwhelming, but I ordered the scouts to press on. They unearthed something else.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2jagcbq.png)
I am beginning to understand what drives a dwarf to madness.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/jpbx9v.jpg)
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2ptdvrq.png)
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2ptdvrq.png)
As the wretched thing fell to the ground with one final roar, the stench began to fade. the mist began to clear.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/sdcy2d.jpg)
I hope to find out who built this place, and for what purpose. At this time, I'm simply glad to have stopped vomitting. When the military is fully equipped, we will send an expedition into the caverns to determine exactly what secrets the Plains of Ooze are keeping.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2v7wlk0.png)
Excellent.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/54sun4.png)
You know what? I'm going to bed. Wake me up if everyone dies.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 13, 2010, 05:01:05 pm
Quote from: MS Paint Adventures
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Things are looking up for us.
Post by: Mountain-King on December 13, 2010, 05:27:59 pm
by my turn we will have more forgotten beasts than we do dwarves
Post by: dragonshardz on December 13, 2010, 05:33:52 pm
Post by: cappstv on December 13, 2010, 06:33:29 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 13, 2010, 06:34:45 pm
Post by: Dermonster on December 13, 2010, 06:39:33 pm
I was unarmed, then armed But still chose to use my fists.
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 14, 2010, 01:13:58 am
(http://i56.tinypic.com/30sdhmb.png)
I woke up this morning. I guess that means we killed the fucker that broke my smelter.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2dc8fg7.png)
I am left with two options. I can wall off this bridge to an unexplored lake of evil-tempered toxins whence these monsters seem to be coming from, or, I can assemble a team of dwarves and charge across into the cavern to uncover whatever is hiding there.
It wasn't really a choice at all. Soon as the Conquerors of Earth were prepared, we stormed into the cave. I had to lead the expedition myself. If something of value is found, I must be there to claim it!
Before venturing too far off the bridge, we stumbled across our first obstacle -- or rather, it stumbled across us.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2rdb6ur.png)
Otik's Breath... it was horrible. The worst thing I've ever seen or smelt. Words fail to contain the tears it brought to my eyes through my nostrils. But now it is slain, and we are cleaning up and reforming before heading on further into the caves, and Derm is a step closer to that house I've been thinking about.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2d92qkp.png)
LOOK OUT
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2m67awx.png)
(http://i52.tinypic.com/wuro69.png)
(The rest of the page is covered in forgotten vomit.)
(http://i54.tinypic.com/wmo87q.png)
* * *
The first thing Sethrist noticed about the Ocean of Slime was that it was very warm. He then noticed he was drowning. It was by virtue of his uncanny intuition and not his enfeebled eyesight that he noticed the ponderous glass-spider quickly approaching through what he would generously refer to as 'the water.'
(http://i53.tinypic.com/qntsgl.png)
Sethrist did not know how to swim, but he was quite skilled at getting away from things that could obviously kill him.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/mlingh.png)
As he slowly paddled away to safety, the glass being closed in on hellbored. The flesh was quickly parted from his bones in the corrosive liquid around him.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2e53z9u.png)
When the monster emerged, hungry for the blood of more dwarves, the fortress guards were there at the shoreline to greet it. Urist, who had fallen in the sea, ignored the layer of slime coating him as he battled the nightmarish spider, much easier to spot now outside of the water.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2eauwd3.png)
The fight was finished before Sethrist finally managed to pull himself out of the muck.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2upvgac.png)
'I feel fine,' he thought. And he did. 'But all the same,' he thought, 'we'd better get checked out, so we know what we're dealing with.' And so the soldiers who had fallen in the poison sea formed up for a final inspection before getting ordered to the hospital for evaluation.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/nmhi4o.png)
On their own power, they failed to make it past the bridge.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/29ubep.png)
Post by: EmeraldWind on December 14, 2010, 02:00:43 am
I love how the Plains of Ooze has a massive cavern filled with Unmentionable Yuck underneath it... wait... Didn't that happen to the previous fort, too? Talk about a sequel, right. Next thing you know Stuzang will show up... which would raise this fort to a level of awesome beyond that of any single fort.
Also, my dwarf got his head caved in by a cloak-wielding three-eyed lobster. NEAT! That's just the kind of death I was hoping for, it made me laugh.
Continue the descent into madness that is FailCannon!
Post by: LordSlowpoke on December 14, 2010, 08:06:30 am
That stuff calls for revenge when he gets out.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 14, 2010, 08:41:13 am
Post by: NightmareBros on December 14, 2010, 09:32:30 am
when will they end
Alos going into the ocean of slime bad idea due to it being forgotten beast extract mered with water.
Post by: Zeocin on December 14, 2010, 12:05:10 pm
WHICH URIST IS ME
ALL OF THEM!
At least we've finally discovered what that stuff does :D *the more you know o/*
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 14, 2010, 01:15:12 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 14, 2010, 10:05:46 pm
(http://i52.tinypic.com/24x47pe.jpg)
The doctor is at a loss to treat the ailment brought on our the dip in the underground lake. Our bodies turn more lumpy and squamous every hour. I can't feel anything anymore, and even moving takes a great effort. I fear that in a few months' time, we will all look an awful lot like those undead horses outside.
Still, it mustn't interfere with my work. There's little over half a year left before any legal basis for my being overseer is ended, and I need to finish my Chamber before that time has come. I'm going back to work, the doctor can't stop me. At the very least, there will be no more unwanted interruptions from cavern-dwelling monsters. I expect we flushed them out during last week's expedition.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2ldktvs.jpg)
My sister was only a child. She had her whole life ahead of her, until Andreus stole her body. But soon the Chamber will be completed, and soon I will be avenged. Soon, Andreus, you'll pay for your crimes.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/f9qflj.png)
Oh gods what now
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2eluipl.png)
(http://i56.tinypic.com/5y5g11.png)
(http://i56.tinypic.com/5y5g11.png)
The forgotten beast Usmdas appeared in the smithy and was killed by Derm within seconds. Construction has begun on his house.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/a5jdp4.png)
The human traders have arrived. They came into our fort and immediately started doing business with LordSlowpoke, who was released from prison just a few days ago. He's adapted to his new role in the fortress, but every time he looks at me I can feel him willing me to die. Time will tell if he is allowed to live or not.
But I digress. The humans say their law-giver is on the way to meet with me, and that we should prepare for her arrival. Something about they way they said that just strikes me as odd, but I can't put my finger on what.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/28ajmdv.png)
AAAAHHHMY GODS WHAT THE DEVIL IS THAT
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2ihxcux.png)
There's NO WAY that thing is getting in
(http://i54.tinypic.com/qwyk51.png)
The humans watched sadly as the armed dwarves passed by the trade depot to the surface of Failcannon to meet with the infernal diplomat. The panther demon grinned and raised its arms wide in a peaceable gesture, but all friendly pretenses were cast aside when the dwarves drew close enough to attack.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/25gxszl.png)
The durability of the demon surprised them. Again and again their blows rained down with little effect as the demon batted them around, breaking ankles and elbows as it walked closer and closer to Failcannon.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/r1c07a.png)
Letting its guard down for only a moment, the demon got a lucky spear driven into her side by Xenos the speardwarf. The battle was all but over from there.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/28urxg7.png)
Xenos was received as a hero by the humans, who cheered at being freed from generations of suffering and tyranny. He's taking it in stride, but I suspect he's just happy to have killed something awesome.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/nzod39.png)
I ordered the corpse brought back to the stockpile. If there's one thing we shouldn't waste, it's a demon's corpse. I was relieved to learn that whatever poison the demon was exuding seems to be relatively harmless if it's harmful at all.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2gwstgp.png)
We didn't trade much with the humans, as all we truly needed of them were logs of wood and barrels of surface booze. I have no doubt that they'll bring a great deal for us next year, in light of our service to their nation. Let us hope they never forgot their emancipators.
I wish I could feel good about all this, but it's frankly difficult to feel good about anything when your body looks as though it's been eaten by rats. Perhaps when I find Andreus I can convince him to teach me the Body Switching ritual before I kill him for ever.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/20fw6sy.jpg)
It's Autumn. I have six months. Where have the last six gone?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 14, 2010, 10:18:12 pm
Post by: Zeocin on December 14, 2010, 10:29:44 pm
What is it about FailCannon that attracts such absurdity, such absurd epicness? Got more forgotten beasts than cockroaches, an ocean of ooze, and now visits by devilish diplomats. Is FailCannon that terrifying a place, that even the denizens of Hell see it as an equal?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 14, 2010, 10:32:01 pm
EDIT: Also, SethCreiyd, would you be so kind as to go into the save's raws and change the second line of the "belch" entry in language_words from:
[NOUN:belch:belches]
to:
[NOUN:cannon:cannons]
? Someone seems to have changed it, probably at the same time as the tiles for the various minerals.
Post by: rampaging-poet on December 14, 2010, 10:40:23 pm
Also, when I saw that mayfly, I thought the fortress was doomed. I'm glad I was proven wrong.
Post by: neotemplar on December 14, 2010, 11:17:43 pm
Name: Neotemplar
I request if possible a job in the military, or as a hunter, or a woodcutter. IE: I meet with "Fun" critters jobs.
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 15, 2010, 02:16:17 am
Neotemplar is the fortress hunter. Since there's no good food above ground he'll be going into the caves. :D
There have been a few crashes, two of them from looking at the health z-screens of dwarves that fell in the sea of poison. It's like the game doesn't know how to report how bad it is.
Edits for missing text
----------
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2vtzc74.png)
I miss the stars. There used to be so many stars in the sky.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2gvjw49.png)
Why are we still here?
I mean, I know why I'm still here. But it's a mystery that anyone else is. Life may have been hard in Graspedseduce, but there you could at walk through the streets without worrying about some gigantic glass rabbit or an ice giant stomping you down, or falling into a vat of sickness put there by gods-know-what so that your skins comes to resemble the bark of a tree.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2zny1xf.png)
Incidentally, it's my sincere wish that any new passages these dwarves dig into the caverns are made only large enough for dwarves to pass through. Yes, another beast was spotted today, but this one was felled with such ease that I wonder if the more dangerous ones have already been killed. I know complacency is dangerous, however. The monster known as Stuzang is still thought to be in these parts, and it would be both foolish and arrogant to think we are above defeat. Such a notion is useful for military morale but useless in strategic planning.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/20rslrm.png)
More refugees from Dastot Cog today, putting our population at 71. They actually think this is a better place than wherever they came. They'll learn.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/ejykb9.png)
I wonder if the elder council had any idea what would happen by making Led Queen. I wonder if Led knew herself.
* * *
A frowning Mezbuth lifted a dagger from her patient's face. "All done," she said, setting her blade down on a nearby table.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/162us5.png)
"No getting out of bed for a while. I'll need to do your feet pretty soon."
(http://i51.tinypic.com/343kk2a.png)
The baroness sighed. She'd seen much in her years as a doctor, but this was a twelve year old, already in danger of losing his life or his legs, slowly and painfully. It made her weary. Life had seemed much nicer when LordSlowpoke was mayor. Here she was, baroness of the fort, cutting strings of dead flesh from children barely old enough to work, and there didn't seem to be anything else for her to do. What could she? That bastard Sethrist had gathered too much personal power. The military would obey him, not her. The dwarves feared the military, not her.
Trying not to seethe, the baroness turned back toward her patient. The child seemed unnaturally calm as he gingerly prodded the incisions with a finger and nodded. "Splendid work, baroness. My thanks."
"Try not to eat anything for a few hours."
(http://i52.tinypic.com/14d28wi.png)
"I think I'll manage," said the child. "Baroness, if I may. What do you think of our new mayor?"
"Haven't thought much of him," she half-lied. "He doesn't say much when he's in here."
"I'm concerned," the child whispered. "I think the fort is heading in the wrong direction. I think..." he looked around and leaned forward. "I think this fort would be better off in other hands, Baroness." There was a stillness in the room. A few of the mayor's loyal soldiers slept in rooms all around them, and he would come in for daily reports. The child might have just sealed his fate.
"Make sure to vote, then," the baroness said. "The election is coming." She got up to leave the room, and added in her own whisper, "Be careful who you say this to."
"I will," said the child. The baroness left. The child examined his rotting feet.
I'm going to miss this body, Andreus thought.
* * *
Sethrist's Journal, excerpts
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2jb2j35.png)
That tears it. I hear them every bloody night screaming their heads off. Today we finish these creatures off for good, or I'm throwing myself in the slime pool.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/zioj5u.png)
We found two of them rutting about in the caverns not far from the mystery bridge. This will be their last day alive.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2quozk0.png)
There they are. We attack now.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/o02a9f.png)
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2w4ffk1.png)
Our first assault left the creatures tattered and scurrying back to the filth that spawned them. Alas, in our excitement we drew too close to the edge of that vile pit.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/i4n2fr.png)
Lucus and dragonshardz got another kill each for the scorecards, but the winged beast knocked Lucus into the slime as it fell.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/r2tj15.png)
He's off to see the baroness. Between he and Gor, she should be busy for a while.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/358b6de.png)
(http://i54.tinypic.com/29muf6s.png)
The critters bled to death in the pool, but Gor, ah, Gor. Hit in the face by the venom of the demon slug. He's blind now. I will be checking in on the baroness shortly to see how our soldiers are doing. As for the baroness' state of being, I could care less. I intend to take her position if she dies of poisoning before I do. We'll be fine as long as she keeps the soldiers alive until then.
* * *
(http://i54.tinypic.com/i2j4on.jpg)
Post by: neotemplar on December 15, 2010, 02:25:12 am
Woo Hunter! Aka the guy who clears out hostile critters so they don't eat the woodcutters and weavers.
Let me know my hunting kill tally every so often if you can (in my experience hunters can get a pretty long list of the unnamed). Assuming a cave croc doesn't behead me first :P
Post by: Dariush on December 15, 2010, 05:17:15 am
Post by: Oglokoog on December 15, 2010, 06:20:27 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 15, 2010, 08:43:34 am
Post by: cappstv on December 15, 2010, 11:16:23 am
Post by: TALLPANZER on December 15, 2010, 12:36:19 pm
Post by: mrbobbyg on December 15, 2010, 01:40:51 pm
Post by: Zathel on December 15, 2010, 02:21:55 pm
This is unbelievably epic. Well, apart from my dorf dying in a random scuffle. But shit happens :D.
Keep it up, I haven't laughed that hard in quite a while.
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 15, 2010, 06:18:11 pm
The thing about Failcannon's beast population is that Robocorn genned Aluonra
remarkably hot and dry, with the maximum number of titans and an unreasonably low set parameter for attracting their attention (around population of 30 I think).
As for them showing up now, all it takes is a little carelessness. :)
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 15, 2010, 06:18:47 pm
We are under siege by an evasive enemy. It has no body to destroy, no land to invade.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2z7fn1l.png)
Half of the population is sick with the beast sickness. Without rest or reprieve it threatens every moment of our lives. Pools of venom collect on the floors near the well, forcing me to micromanage their construction and deconstruction and force these disgusting little morons to clean the mess. The baroness works day and night to contain the illness, and appears to be losing her mind. mrbobbyg died on the operating table last night, while Mezbuth was 'attempting to induce sedation' with a war hammer. The shape of mrbobbyg's head suggests she was trying very hard.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/4q63vp.jpg)
The hospital is currently under a full quarantine. The infected who are still walking are now assigned there permanently, tasked only with keeping the floors and water supply as clean as possible. I expect them to live long enough to fulfill their duties. They've managed to eliminate or contain the raw puddles of extract, but those already very sick are probably living only to die.
Oglokoog approached me last night demanding we seal off the caverns, but I just can't think of a good enough reason to do so.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I understand the soldiers' concerns, but I'm not exactly reckless. All it takes is the pull of a lever to raise the bridges and cut us off from danger, but I still expect there's something hidden in these caves, and I'm not yet done searching. Oglokoog was granted exclusive permission to pull the lever at the first sign of trouble.
Besides, if the caverns are sealed off, Neotemplar won't be able to scout them for us. She's a recent arrival who's started hunting the creatures of the caves to add some exotic meat to our hoard. Already she's bagged a few crundles, which made a phenomenal stew.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/htvc4o.png)
She wasn't understating the word "exotic." I doubt I'll partake in her latest catch, it's shaped like something I once had a nightmare about.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/bevuxw.png)
Curiously, she chased it all the way up to the burial hall from the caves. I'll ask someone else how it tastes. She gets bolder every day and I suspect she'll soon return from a hunt with something even more repugnant.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/21bkoz.png)
Everything else has been delightful.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/33p8xgm.png)
The supply caravan from Dastot Cog was spotted a few minutes ago. The outpost liaison will surely wonder what the hell is going on, and I've got to come up with an explanation. Here's hoping an adamantine trade depot can make up for the mass pestilence we have going on.
The militia is patrolling and the local skorses are keeping their heads down for a change, so the workers were sent outside to gather clothing and armor from the dozens of corpses lain across the plains. The more garbage we feed to these cretinous traders, the better.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/ak8msw.jpg)
Alarm! Goblins without!
(http://i54.tinypic.com/o85f0l.png)
Mezbuth and Oglokoog were shot dead at the very start.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/296de8n.png)
Every soldier in the fort ran to the fore screaming and brandishing pure adamantine. The first two squads of greenskins fled in terror, but two more emerged from the trees to the east and fired their crossbows.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/4qscjd.png)
Another group flanked us from the west as we advanced. It was a grim day.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/6pbzag.png)
When we slew the leader, the rest of them scattered into the wilderness. We won the day, but there are many injuries and the hospital is already filled, so we've started building another one. Trading continues at the Depot. With the baroness dead, I must be the one to meet with the liaison regarding matters of migration and commerce. Not to mention we've lost our best doctor.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/1tq2yu.png)
Thank goodness the hospital and wells are clean. The liaison is still inspecting the dining room, so I'll head down to the smithy to finish that order of iron spikes I've been trying to --
(http://i54.tinypic.com/29e3lgy.png)
I suppose we can close that bridge now.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/ruzmdy.png)
This one was an enormous grouse. I've lost count of how many creatures we battled this year, but this one stands out in my mind. It's tail feathers spiked out of its back like daggers even sharper than its terrible beak.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/11k9w6p.png)
Tekkud was casually tossed into a wall where he exploded in gore. With a roar, Derm charged down the beast while Elt kept the abominable bird off-balance.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/24l1n4k.png)
Elt was rather off-balance herself. The two of them fell into the magma pit with a horrible plop. Derm ran forward. There was no way to save Elt, but the Beastslayer made sure his comrade would die knowing the bird had been dealt with.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/o09vdw.png)
I wonder what she thought as she sat there in a tunnel of fire, slowly burning to death. It can't have been pleasant.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/dmw3d4.png)
(http://i52.tinypic.com/1zyep00.png)
(http://i52.tinypic.com/1zyep00.png)
The Conquerors of Earth are recruiting.
* * *
"And this is my office," said Sethrist to Melbil the Outpost Liaison as they neared the end of the official's tour. I'd like to add a window to the magma sea, if I can just figure out how.
The liaison had maintained a cool expression for most of the visit, but this room seemed to surprise her. "You built an office in the adamantine vein?"
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2iuouhl.png)
Sethrist smiled and offered the liaison a seat. "These are quarters fit for royalty. Should the Queen decide to visit, they'll be hers for the stay, of course."
(http://i55.tinypic.com/6td2sx.png)
Melbil nodded slowly as she sat down, staring at the smooth floor. It seemed to glitter in the dark with a pale blue light both peaceful and menacing.
"May I offer you a drink?" Sethrist moved toward the cupboard, but the liaison lifted a hand.
"No, thank you. I must tell you, mayor, I don't think the Queen will be coming here anytime soon."
(http://i51.tinypic.com/j59o5l.png)
Sethrist's smile faded. "Why do you say that? Our wealth is tremendous, our warriors implacable. Whatever Led wants out of us, I imagine she's getting it."
(http://i51.tinypic.com/d74uh.jpg)
"Mayor, this place is uninhabitable. You have more vomit in the halls than stone. On the way in here I passed a child crawling around on the ground because his legs no longer work. Did I understand you correctly when you said you had thirty dwarves locked in the hospital?"
"We are managing the disease. I have every confidence in our doctors' abilities."
"Look at you! You look as though a dragon digested you!"
"Save your cheek. It was an easily avoidable accident."
"Then why did you not avoid it?"
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2ugdrpv.png)
Sethrist slammed a fist on the table, and shook it as he realized the gesture hurt more than it impressed. "The situation is under control," he grumbled. "Now, if we can just discuss our trade agreement. I'm sure there's something here that's caught your eye." He swept his hand dramatically. "There's no need to trouble the Queen with such trivialities. I give you every assurance, we are fine."
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Melbil looked again at the sparkling floor. A large passage of pure adamantine wound down out of sight. He pointed towards it and asked, "How deep does that run?"
* * *
Sethrist's Journal, excerpts
(http://i54.tinypic.com/20a9k4i.png)
Sprout... she's dead. My wife is dead. How will I raise my son without her?
My... my son?
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2s81e8g.png)
My son is dead?!
(http://i51.tinypic.com/684m7n.png)
Post by: optimumtact on December 15, 2010, 06:28:28 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on December 15, 2010, 06:36:22 pm
Did my dorf die by rot, just so I can know? Or did I die during a previous turn?
Post by: neotemplar on December 15, 2010, 06:48:10 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 15, 2010, 07:26:20 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on December 15, 2010, 07:46:49 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 15, 2010, 07:49:27 pm
Post by: neotemplar on December 15, 2010, 08:08:01 pm
Post by: Aik on December 15, 2010, 10:23:15 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 16, 2010, 04:07:19 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
----------
Thoth was watching Failcannon carefully. If the world fell to ruin now from Sethrist's incompetence, all hope of maintaining existence would be lost. The gods would need to involve themselves as they swore they never would.
It meant breaking the Rules, But Ura had already broken them, and so would Thoth, to keep them around. Warping time and space, he focused on the very moment Sethrist became mayor of Failcannon.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
In a mysterious explosion that no one would ever fully understand or explain, Sethrist was killed and history irrevocably altered. A certain sorcerer who'd been a thorn in the gods' collective side was also caught in the blast.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Failcannon never fell to the prideful whims of the tyrant mayor. The adamantine was never discovered, the caverns never uncovered. The dwarves were not visited by a devilish diplomat, nor did they do battle with the beasts from the underground.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/t0kzs0.png)
Under Mezbuth's rule, they lived peaceful lives devoted to craft and making Failcannon a great place to live. A dining room with solid gold furnishings became the new meeting hall of the fort.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/11rsqki.png)
But still, Mezbuth was unhinged from the start. Xenos was forced to kill her when she went beserk in the training barracks. She wounded Pisano in the struggle, but not badly.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2lkz5vq.png)
Below, the beasts slumbered still. More of them came. But they never attacked.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2vdi4jm.png)
LordSlowpoke would die of thirst in prison, which led the new mayor Derm to place a booze stockpile in the jail. Unfortunately, Derm's reign was also shortlived when he failed to get the mysterious leather he'd been waiting for; none of the other leather would do.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/wk5phg.png)
Aik would be elected mayor the next day. The dwarves would live unaware of how close they all came to the end of everything.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/21l0bgj.png)
But what would have happened? What would become of the Failcannon in the other timeline where Sethrist still lived?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
No one would ever know.
----------
Save is here: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3567
Everybody on the dorfing list is dorfed and alive. I redorfed LordSlowpoke after he died and put him in the same squad position so he should have his armor, but I haven't given him back his house yet. I didn't redwarf Derm since he's still alive.
There's a really nice dining room and new stockpiles for armor and goods. A bunch of skeletons got butchered so there should be enough to start really making bone blocks. I tried making the Baroness as nice a house as I could but she went beserk anyway. I also built a few roads when the coast was clear, since we need roads to get royalty.
The fortress is really clean and there are lots of smoothed out spaces waiting to be filled with something. Also, this is connected to the rough microcline support right outside the fort entrance to the left, use it in case the panther devil comes:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A firebreathing thrips came to the caves right before I finished. Andreus is now "Andreus VIII, Quasimortal" a novice Strand Extractor with terrible intuition.
Thanks for letting me play.
Post by: Dariush on December 16, 2010, 05:50:16 am
Post by: EddyP on December 16, 2010, 06:15:46 am
You pulled off the best turn ever in Ardentdikes and now you did the same with Failcannon. Congratulations, you won DF.
x2
Post by: Groveller on December 16, 2010, 07:25:24 am
Sorry for wasting everyone's time.
Wasting our time? Are you serious? That was awesome...
Post by: mrbobbyg on December 16, 2010, 07:47:17 am
Post by: Dermonster on December 16, 2010, 07:52:21 am
Goddammit now my baddassery is gone :( NO HOUSE!
also GREAT TURN!
Can I get anozzer dwarf?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 16, 2010, 09:01:24 am
Post by: Mountain-King on December 16, 2010, 09:46:06 am
which i feel is pretty appropriate
i'm downloading the fort now, let's see how far i can get today
Post by: mrbobbyg on December 16, 2010, 09:46:22 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
But...but...if you don't do risky things, then it's not fun. When was the last time you read about a totally epic fort where everyone was walled in by a drawbridge and never fought FBs? It's called FUN for a reason!
=)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 16, 2010, 09:50:36 am
on the turn list Seth's name is actually glowing
which i feel is pretty appropriate
Yeah, it is.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on December 16, 2010, 10:50:27 am
Post by: Oglokoog on December 16, 2010, 11:42:28 am
Post by: cappstv on December 16, 2010, 11:50:20 am
Post by: Mekboy on December 16, 2010, 12:17:27 pm
Goddamn.
Awesome.
Seth, you rock.
Seriously, I think you might have just won Battlefailed.
Post by: Zathel on December 16, 2010, 01:11:57 pm
I guess since things are so good right now, they can start slowly going back to Hell again. All in the name of Fun.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 16, 2010, 01:53:23 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on December 16, 2010, 02:11:19 pm
Quote
nyone else thinks that it needs to be animated?There needs to be animations of all the epic forts, in our time as well as in the past. Boatmurdered, Headshoots, Syrupleaf, Nist Ahnk, Battlefailed and Artendikes.
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 16, 2010, 02:53:09 pm
on the turn list Seth's name is actually glowing
which i feel is pretty appropriate
Yeah, it is.
:o I dunno what to say, overwhelmed.. Thank you all, everyone on this forum is awesome and it's a privilege to write here. I'm glad the turn was enjoyable, I had fun. I'll be more communicative about the fort's status next time.
i'm downloading the fort now, let's see how far i can get today
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Quotenyone else thinks that it needs to be animated?There needs to be animations of all the epic forts, in our time as well as in the past. Boatmurdered, Headshoots, Syrupleaf, Nist Ahnk, Battlefailed and Artendikes.
If done right it would be legend.
Post by: cappstv on December 16, 2010, 03:33:18 pm
Now that I said that someone is probably going to try do more.
Post by: Megaman3321 on December 16, 2010, 04:41:58 pm
Post by: Zeocin on December 16, 2010, 06:50:37 pm
EDIT: I am kinda sad that now Derm's kickarsery is non-ish cannon. Just have to find some other Cthulhus to punch out, Derm ;3.
Post by: Oglokoog on December 16, 2010, 06:57:10 pm
Oh fuck, I just reread the ending (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=57052.msg1474197#msg1474197) of Battlefailed while listening to this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyDdV8eIHGE), and now I have to ask if anyone else thinks that it needs to be animated?I could think of better music to accompany the epicness.
Anyway, it is a very good idea. I don't think it would be suitably atmospheric if done in Flash or some other sort of colorful computer animation tool. Pencil-drawn stop-motion would be ideal, in my opinion. Another option is a slideshow of faux engravings (that one would heavily depend on the music to set the mood)... or real engravings if someone was in the mood to spend months or possibly years working on that. In any case, there would have to at least one skilled artist in the creative team.
Post by: Groveller on December 16, 2010, 11:22:06 pm
Megaproject for the fort: sculpt the history of the Battlefailed and FailCannon. You could dig out a different frame of animation on each z-level.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 19, 2010, 12:25:56 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on December 19, 2010, 12:41:02 pm
Post by: MagmaMcFry on December 19, 2010, 02:38:50 pm
Also, dorf me.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 21, 2010, 12:31:20 am
Post by: Mountain-King on December 23, 2010, 04:41:52 pm
i am really sorry for the delay
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 23, 2010, 08:10:38 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on December 23, 2010, 08:13:55 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 23, 2010, 08:31:01 pm
Fortress will reconvene on New Year's Day.
Post by: breadbocks on December 23, 2010, 11:01:26 pm
Post by: breadbocks on December 25, 2010, 03:28:31 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Oglokoog on December 25, 2010, 07:39:24 am
Post by: Akaros on December 25, 2010, 08:32:03 am
Oh, and another attempt to organize things around here... I can only imagine what that will end up like.
Any bets on how long before the Failcannon breaks and floods the fortress again?
Post by: breadbocks on December 25, 2010, 04:11:54 pm
Wait.. There's a fail cannon? Oh dear...Oh, and another attempt to organize things around here... I can only imagine what that will end up like.
Any bets on how long before the Failcannon breaks and floods the fortress again?
Anyways, any migrants are being deffered to the next overseer.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 25, 2010, 06:47:20 pm
Post by: breadbocks on December 26, 2010, 01:59:35 am
Post by: Zathel on December 26, 2010, 07:00:41 am
Oh, and another attempt to organize things around here... I can only imagine what that will end up like.
HEY! I resent that remark! ;)
Post by: mrbobbyg on December 26, 2010, 09:07:45 am
To the next overseer: Expect to have several thousand units of meat.
I find that both creepy and awesome.
Post by: breadbocks on December 26, 2010, 09:08:54 pm
Post by: Frosty_Dorf on December 28, 2010, 04:21:43 am
:'( Its... so... beautiful...
When this gets up and running again I'd like to snatch up a dwarf to call my own. I'll probably have to wait for an immigrant wave or three, so lets see... skills I'd like to get/have: mechanic, architecture, masonry, carpentry, siege engineer, and/or metalsmith, or any combination of them. If I could get an Engineer title of some sort that'd be great too
Post by: Deteramot on December 28, 2010, 04:10:21 pm
Also, when the time comes, I wouldn't say no to an attempt at running this shit into the ground. That is to say, throw me in at the end of the list.
Post by: breadbocks on December 29, 2010, 09:16:11 pm
Post by: Robocorn on December 30, 2010, 09:34:49 am
Does that mean it's my turn.
This will be interesting nonetheless Since I haven't actually played DF since
innn... Late July.
It was Murdercloisters on August 12th, I haven't been out of it that long.
Well, Just tell me what version we're using and I'll be completely prepared to screw everything up.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 30, 2010, 11:33:23 am
Take as much time as you want/need.
Post by: Robocorn on December 30, 2010, 01:48:30 pm
31.18.
Take as much time as you want/need.
Agreed, The destruction will start tonight and end before New Years.
This save starts in Sandstone but I'll play it Through the Obsidian of the following year unless anyone objects.
I just got the worst idea
And I'm doing it.
Post by: Robocorn on December 31, 2010, 01:55:37 am
Diary of Robocorn Groovekeys "Cheese Maker"
8th of Sandstone.
I'm pretty sure that Såkzul was Drunk when he got me this thing. Såkzul is always drunk but maybe he was drunker than usual when he thought I'd want some special little book to write all my special little secrets in I'm guessing it was a joke at my expense. We'll see what I get him for his birthday, maybe a poker to use at his "job".
15th of Sandstone.
So this is what's been making my bed so lumpy for the last week. I'd wondered where I left this thing. I'll have to thank Såkzul for my backache. Not that I need to do any heavy lifting with my job the official clerical registry lists me as a "Cheese maker" I can't begin to fathom why, I've never made a bit of cheese in my entire life (http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/7070/63121361.png). I think the decades long cheese scarcity in Failcannon may be somewhat related to this. In as long as I've been here I've never met another cheese maker in all of Failcannon, and I've been spending a lot of time in the dining hall. I like to joke that maybe some other cheese maker is running my shifts while I mess around at the bar and all my buddies get pissed off at me for never doing any work, except for Såkzul, Såkzul can relate.
20th of Sandstone
Såkzul came out of "work" early to drink with me in the dining hall. We got some dirty looks from a brewer as we emptied the last of the keg. Head him muttering something about leeches. Can't stand the things myself, just like those damned purring maggots, the things creep me the heck out. Maybe that's the "irony" (as Såkzul says) of being a cheese maker who hates the source of Dwarven Cheese. I don't think it's funny at all I think it's gross, Såkzul can shove his irony where the sun don't shine.
23rd of Sandstone
Some little runts had the gall to interrupt my drink by calling me a useless old cheese head. Little brats are lucky that I'd already sat down or I'd have shown 'em my wrestling skills, though I have been getting a bit rusty over the years. I'm glad Kigok has shown me the mercy never to grant me children (A wife would be nice though Kigok, any day now.) It's not only little scoundrels that give me a hard time for being a cheesedwarf the brewers the soldiers and even Såkzul give me a hard time. It's not like it was my choice to begin with to be a cheesemaker and it's not my fault there's no cheese (haven't seen a milker in years though the cows trot their muck through the whole damn fort) And what does Såkzul have to brag about? he's a friggin' Wood Burner (Kigok forgive my language) who can't roll over a log in a fireplace? It takes great heaping loads of skill (presumably) to make cheese that'll make dwarven mouths water all over their beards and stand in line for hours to get more while the stacks of salted demon ganglia grow cold and forgotten. They should be lucky to have me, the next time some snot nosed punk saunters up to me and asks in his throat crackly voice through his short tangled beard
"Eh what do yooou do, you old fart"
I can say
"I'm a Cheese maker goddammit"
and go and pretend to do something somewhere.
Yeah that would show 'em.
28th of Sandstone
(http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/9414/55375847.png)
I heard some crazy immigrants walked across the outer wall of the fort to get in because they were too impatient to wait for the doors to open. I gotta say if you're impatient to get to Failcannon then there's something wrong with where you were, I asked one of 'em where she was (buxom young beauty named Kikrost) from and she told me all about how she liked bucklers and sardonyx and banshees an some feller named Lur Thiefwitch and how they left because of something called Feta smash day. Even foreign cheese makers get their own days, I bet I could make a fine cheese if I had a few goats around, I just don't have any goat's is all. The babe wouldn't even tell me her surname after she found out I was a cheesemaker (I guess you like sardonics too Kigok) :(
1st of Timber
Kigok, you must be having some fun with me but I've gotta pray for you to stop. I ran into some old vagrant bag the other day, some crazy old bag who thinks she's the eighth incarnation of some wizard who hides in ore and chose to be in Failcannon for some reason. well she bumps into me and makes me spill my fifth beer of the day on myself Instead of apologizing like she should she calls ME a "lazy oaf" with some snotty air of condescencion like she's not some lunatic broad who hauls stone all day. I tell here that
"I'm a goddamn cheesemaker!"
like I wrote about before and I swear that she was completely taken aback for a a half a minute looking for some kind of witty report before she whined about
"where's all the cheese?..bleh"
and
"I'm a magister of the fifth circle..bluh"
and
"don't they usually draft your kind into counter-dragon sumo squads?...bluh...bluh..bleh"
I swear that Såkzul actually laughed at that last one he doesn't feel my plight that nobody respects the cheesemaker. That guy can go dance with shadow banshees and shove his sardonyx up where the sun don't shine. One of these days I'm gonna teach these ingrates that they need a cheesemaker in Failcannon.
8th of Timber
(http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/6222/13294044.png)
Today is a sorrowful day for me. One of my friends Derm died today of thirst today in the hallway just outside his bed from thirst. It reminds me how close death is to us all. Derm was young, he had a life ahead of him. I'd been drinking the days away with not a care in the world. I hadn't even realized he hadn't been working and was actually dehydrating. I wonder how many friends of mine died without me realizing it. Have I still not made anything of myself?
(http://img708.imageshack.us/img708/7922/47804098.png)
Naw, he would have wanted me to feel good.
I'm sure he's living it up with Kigok and her bountiful love. (Now if you'd share that, Kigok, it would be nice.)
9th of Timber.
Things are looking up for me the other day, the Mayor ,Aik. Came up to me in the dining hall and told me she'd seen me around and wondered what my job was and i most assuredly told her I was a cheesemaker. She was about to turn away when I told her that I was really the best cheesemaker in the whole of the windy world and that there'd been a scarcity of milk that prevented me from crafting my marvelous works. I told her I could make cheese that'd turn an old man young and make a magister swallow her tongue. It could raise the dead and Impress queen Led and If I only had milk I'd share with her ilk. I dare say that the mayor was so impressed by my rhyming she said she'd help me get the recognition I deserve as the top cheesemaker and went to talk with some architect. i think I'm finally getting that blessing from Kigok I've always asked for. (I bet That WitchThief guy never grants his most loyal followers their prayers).
I hope you could bear the setup I'll actually get stuff done in the next few updates. I
Post by: Dermonster on December 31, 2010, 02:00:21 am
Ah well.
GET ME ANOZZER. (Please)
Post by: Robocorn on December 31, 2010, 02:05:23 am
Post by: Dermonster on December 31, 2010, 02:06:54 am
TRIPLETS!
Post by: SethCreiyd on December 31, 2010, 04:38:24 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Robocorn on December 31, 2010, 07:23:01 pm
I need to eat something.
This will probably be like Sparkgears 11 most likely.
Post by: Robocorn on December 31, 2010, 09:01:17 pm
14th of Timber
I saw that broker guy trading away out slaughtered animals. "Pyromaniac" I think his name was. I thank Kigok everyday that I wasn't given a name like that. I really would have liked a nice horse stew but I'm not in control of the finances. The funny thing is I overheard the guy talking about a "new diet" as he bought a barrel of donkey milk. I sure hope he's not talking about what I think he's talking about. I've had it up to my mustache with eating those terrible monsters they dig up from that abyss under Failcannon. I'd sooner feed the whole fort than switch to a diet of acid blooded mutant magpies.
Still nothing on that Kigok situation. Is it too much to ask for one woman Kigok? I don't care if she likes shadow banshees or sardonics or even purring maggots send me any woman Kigok and I'll treasure her. I really have to find a better hiding place for this thing if Såkzul finds it I'll be even more of a laughing stock.
21st of Timber
(http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/2431/91647644.png)
When I saw it I quite nearly shit bricks. Aik had told me to bring a bucket to the upper levels so I swiped one from the hospital (who's gonna notice?). To my surprise she's made some kind of complex to produce cheese like the brewery produces beer. I guess she wanted me to get accustomed to the animals before construction was finished. I tried to tell her that the sun was bothering me but she said that a cheesemaker of my caliber could make a fine cheese even in the sunlight. (flattery will get you everywhere) I guess I've got big things ahead of me. Kigok let them realize their mistake before I have to feed the whole fort. I take back what I said about the mutant magpies, they're the candy of the deep.
1st of Moonstone
(http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/5818/77159127.png)
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Cows can get pretty dangerous you know. They can gore you without the slightest provocation. It would be unwise to make cheese with a bovine about or it could smell the creamy sweetness of the cheese you were making and slaughter you right then and there. Aik should be awarding me a medal for handling such a deadly beast in such a cautious manner. A medal and a vacation, because all of this cheesemaking is hard work, or it will be anyway, after my vacation. A big thanks to Kigok who channeled her powers into the fell cows mind and calmed it to a stupor so I could tie it up again.
8th of Moonstone
(http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/63/89327812.png)
Well, there it is. My first cheese. The broker told me it would be worth fifty value abstractions on the open market. He asked me if I made it and I told him that I was the head cheesemaker in all of Aluonra and that any cheese I'd make would be worth it's weight in adamantine. The snarky fool blew me off like some silly blowhard. But I'd show him. Making cheese wasn't much harder than brewing and I'm sure I'll be able to get twice as much appraise than any silly brewer got from their brain blastering sunshine or thirst quenching Mushroom ale or whatever my point was. Al I know is that If I stick to my guns and keep my faith in Kigok I'll be the Fromagiester of the Sixth Circle and everyone will realize how important I really am to Failcannon.
16th of Moonstone.
This seems like kind of a funny story. The Captain of the guard dispatches the holy irons to go save cheese. Now I thought they had finally realized my importance and I could go back to doing nothing all day but they were really talking about some crippled beggar named "Cheese" who was out picking flowers or something when he was ambushed by skeletal horses. One of the horses even gets on the seaward wall that those immigrants snuck over on the other month and these two soldiers joust with it and get knocked off the wall. What a bunch off loonies I hope Kigok blesses their sore heads.
(http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/8715/73109969.png)
Luckily the irons eventually take down the horse that was menacing "Cheese" and he's welcomed back into the fort. No thanks to those jousters. I guess they'll let anyone in the guard these days.
24th of Moonstone
(http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/8623/53951277.png)
It's so exciting to be invited to a party. Some Dwarven child has completed some magnificent magnetic bracelect with moonstone and more magnetite. Sounds like some kind of wizard jewelery to me but I'll take any chance I can get to take a day off of work dealing with dangerous cows and moulding cheese. Thanks for blessing this child Kigok I needed to go to a party. I wonder if Kigok will ever bless me with a vision of the ultimate cheese. I can always dream.
1st of Opal.
That jerkass Såkzul still isn't impressed by my massive dairy complex. He say's it's built on lies and that I've barely made any cheese. He even had the gall to say that
"nobody cares about cheese"
"Then why'd they go save him from the skorse?"
We both had a good chuckle about that one. But he should really be more supportive of my rising role in the world. I don't care if he's a wood burner or a soldier. He shouldn't speak that way to an Accomplished Cheese Maker
(http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/2655/53829774.png)
8th of Opal.
Today something scary happened.
Those fool guards must have dozed off because the devil skull-horse Sourditch got into the fort
(http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/20/75081894.png)
The beast slew a dog right in front of me before going after some unlucky Dwarf named Paniac. The fellow was so heroic as to let a young mother and her child serve as a decoy for him to run away. The mother Canalan made it out okay but the baby was slewn by the great beast. I offered to give Xenos (the father) some cheese for the funeral and he just lashed out at me. I suppose seeing your only child killed by and evil horse makes you less receptive to cheese. I hope it isn't a trend.
24th of Opal
After receiving complaints from various different Dwarves regarding the increasing Dearth of cheese I talked with Aik about getting me a few assistants. I also requested a few more cheese presses
(http://img602.imageshack.us/img602/1148/94440826.png)
"constructed from solid silver"
I said. She seemed to be talking it down so I asked for an office with gold furniture overlooking the filthy sea with glass windows and a short commute from the cheesery. Kigok has truly blessed me because she gave in to all my demands and my room is finally complete. I met with Såkzul again at his totally non-private dining room to rub it in that I had become a Fromagiester while he was stilla lowly wood burner and now nobody could look down on my cheesey prowess. Såkzul still wasn't impressed though, he never cares for my success. he's always keeping me back. Maybe if you found me someone real nice Kigok I could make him truly believe in your majesty. You are the real Fromagistress here.
5th of Obsidian
These assistants are not as helpful as I'd forseen. But I'm sleeping splendidly in this new room. It's not the same as being underground all day but the sun is gone about half the time so it's fairly bearable to have a room near the sea. It's quiet to say the least. Just me and the cheese. And Kigok of course. I can never forget about Kigok. Såkzul doesn't know what he's talking about, I have it way better now that I'm important, he's just jealous of my blessings Maybe he can be one of my cheese assistants. I bet that would cheer him up
6th of Obsidian
It didn't.
15th of Obsidian
GOBLINS!
(http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/594/32724396.png)
A squadron of greenskins decided to sneak over the wall that the skorses and immigrants have been sneaking over in order to rain bolts down upon us fron their high vantage point.
Their Aim was mostly atrocious so many of us were able to run away in time but one poor soul called Urist Imiknoriss took nearly seven bolts before falling to the greenskin's barrage
(http://img407.imageshack.us/img407/391/66957426.png)
The first of the Holy Irons on the scene was DuckThatQuacks, a novice Swordsdwarf who planned on fighting them aligned on the wall in order to protect us as we fled underground.
(http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/9558/96257750.png)
It "Didn't work" to say the least.
(http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/9109/62905866.png)
The next warrior present to face the scourge was the militia leader LordSlowpoke who brandishing her warhammer
(http://img337.imageshack.us/img337/5835/41741637.png)
was knocked over the edge of the wall by a goblin with a whip
LordSlowpoke fought the goblins as they entered the fort from the wall but they verpowered her and drover her down one of the goblin raiders "Snodub" Declared victory over her corpse and dealt the killing blow.
After Lordslowpoke's death things turned for the worst
(http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/2815/82320531.png)
The Goblins began to slaughter everything
As if in a mission from Kigok Herself I took up the mantle of military commander and drafted The most able warriors remaining among us. Such as Grath "The arrow catcher" and Xenos, who had dealt the final blow to Sourditch. I gathered us togeth one time to mount an a offense against the horde.
(http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/8398/31737131.png)
The casualties were too great I lead what able dwarves I could find down into a food stockpile and began ordering the construction of a wall t separate us from the outside world
(http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/4247/54296543.png)
We held up for ours in preparation of the goblin onslaught but nothing came.
what we discovered was astounding.
(http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/5817/54822942.png)
as the goblins left they fell into our traps and many were captured and killed. With less than a quarter of our dwarves still living we could not have held them back on our own. I know in my heart that it was Kigok that protected us and our infirm. I feel sorry for all the things I said about Såkzul, may his soul rest in peace. It is currently Obsidian the 20th and will end the year with cheese far from my mind.
That's three months and six hours of work. I don't know how I'm going to finish the remaining twelve months of my year but I'm not doing it tonight. This is actually way better than I thought It would turn out. I'm still really pissed at whoever engineered the goblin sniper highway though. Kigok-Dammit man
I was actually listening to this (http://nekrogoblikon.bandcamp.com/track/army-of-goblins) around Obsidian 15th it made the invasion about ten times more annoying from my perspective so maybe it will color yours.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on December 31, 2010, 09:11:54 pm
Keep up the good job, Robocorn. And redorf me at the first chance possible.
Post by: Robocorn on December 31, 2010, 09:13:44 pm
Post by: Zathel on January 01, 2011, 05:45:57 am
Unless the whole point to building a wall is for it to have a weak point for enemies to exploit ;)
Post by: Oglokoog on January 01, 2011, 08:36:31 am
Post by: Robocorn on January 01, 2011, 01:07:52 pm
For those of you who have died here's the redorfing list. There are four nameless dwarves left. Almost all of the dwarves are miserable and many (all of the resting ones) have terrible injuries and are locked in the hospital.
(http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/6094/listj.png)
Post by: Lupusater on January 02, 2011, 01:11:59 pm
Post by: Dermonster on January 02, 2011, 01:13:43 pm
There must always be a Derm.
Post by: Lucus Casius on January 02, 2011, 01:19:13 pm
Lucus... Fourth Hand, now?
Post by: Takuanuva on January 02, 2011, 01:50:07 pm
Epic.
Considering how long the list of people waiting for their turns is, I would have to build some cryogenic stuff to freeze myself only to survive until my turn. But let's give it a try.
I would also like to get dorfed. Some male engraver would be good. Name him Takua and give him The Chronicler as custom profession if you can.
Post by: SethCreiyd on January 02, 2011, 11:11:57 pm
Almost all of the dwarves are miserable and many (all of the resting ones) have terrible injuries and are locked in the hospital.
It's the Battlefailed way! And it's a fine opportunity to train a new doctor.
Post by: Oglokoog on January 03, 2011, 02:25:34 am
Just read both BF and Failcannon.
Epic.
Considering how long the list of people waiting for their turns is, I would have to build some cryogenic stuff to freeze myself only to survive until my turn. But let's give it a try.
I would also like to get dorfed. Some male engraver would be good. Name him Takua and give him The Chronicler as custom profession if you can.
Welcome, enjoy your stay.
Surviving until your turn is pretty easy, but the survival of the fortress itself is always uncertain :D
Post by: Scaraban on January 03, 2011, 05:19:11 am
a blue pick if you know what i mean...
Post by: NightmareBros on January 03, 2011, 06:36:19 am
Redorf whenever
Post by: Robocorn on January 03, 2011, 02:25:37 pm
1st of Granite 525
Spring has come but winter still lingers with us as the corpses of our friends and family begin to decompose. Aik had decided that anything outside the fort is another potential deathtrap and that we should make their allure invisible to us. I guess she means ignore them, but it's hard. On a lighter note, Zathel says he killed one of the remaining goblins with his pick.
(http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/584/25979273.png)
We have trouble mustering any celebratory enthusiasm for his feat, knowing there are still goblins wandering about. I'm still guilty about what I said to Såkzul last. He met his fate to some goblin and I never got to apologize for the way I treated him.
"Cheese is really important now that the livestock is slaughtered"
He would've said, and we'd have laughed together. Please Kigok, you can take back all your blessings to me, just ensure Såkzul has a good afterlife. I want him to be happy when we next meet. I guess it could be sooner than I think.
I don't know if I can stand to live in this rotting cesspit any longer. This room only reminds me of how I treated Såkzul if I had been here when the goblins struck I would have been with him now.
(http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/2115/91603826.png)
Pointless now.
19th of Granite
I've been working at the hospital for weeks now. I don't think I can bear going on because i think I've seen a miracle. One of the patients. A former militia draft named Canalan, gave birth to a daughter. In spite of massive wounds inflicted by goblin foes the baby came out healthy.
(http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/7290/54413103.png)
I know that Kigok must be watching out for us here in our little slice of hell.
4th of Slate
Another death. We've all been a little antsy since the goblin raid and we've been talking some time to let off steam. Oglokoog took this much farther than I am comfortable with. In the night he pummeled a sleeping woman to death in the middle of the hospital.
(http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/2517/59560193.png)
He says he did it in a rage but I'm still going to keep m y eye on him. With tensions this high anyone could snap at any instant. I'm even starting to miss Såkzul's jokes. I guess I'll talk to Emeraldwind Maybe he could tell me a joke or something. I've just got to keep my anger in check and everything will be alright. Everything will be alright.
5th of slate
I woke up today and everything seems fine. Everything smells like purple and all I have to do is wipe all of that strawberry jam of and everyone will be as good as new. Everything will be fine. Kigok came to me in a dream and told me how to make the best cheese, the best cheese, the bestest cheese. Beyond the ken of mortal cheesesmiths. But first the strawberry jam, oh the jam. The greenfriends only wanted a spread for thier toast but Oh The Mess They Have Made. It's fine because everything will be okay, everything is okay. Everything is the most okay. The superlative quality of this OKAY is not to be trifled with. Okay. okay. OkAy, oKaY, everything is okay. To make the cheese I must sing the song. the splendid song, the special song, the secret song, the song of the evercow. On high it will hear me. On high it will find me, I will pluck from it's udders the evercurd and my cheese will be on it's way to completion Yes YES OH YES YES, YES, YES YES, YES, OHH, YES, KIGOK YES, !! YES! YES!! YESS! YOU CAN WAKE UP FROM YOUR NAP SÅKZUL!! I HAVE THE TASTIEST SNACK OF ALL!! JUST FOR YOU AND ME AND KIGOK!! CHEESE, THE MOST GLOURIOUS OFCHEESESTHECHEESIESTcheShEoFCHeeSESNOWwho'sUSeleSsYousTupidKids?!?!?/
(http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/3973/88137229.gif)
This isn't my last play of the day but I'm going to have to change narration or something. Nobody was dwarfed because there haven't been any migrants.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 03, 2011, 03:36:23 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on January 03, 2011, 05:15:02 pm
Spoiler: DIARY OF OGLOKOOG (click to show/hide)
(this is a thinly-veiled reference)
Post by: Robocorn on January 03, 2011, 06:52:32 pm
Holy Crap those are a lot of immigrants! how many immigrants you ask? 17
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 03, 2011, 07:44:01 pm
Jegus I alternate caps for one line and the homestuck references come flowing out.
Holy Crap those are a lot of immigrants! how many immigrants you ask? 17
Give me the most pants-on-head retarded, brainwarpingly dumb fucker that shows up and draft me.
EDIT:Fix'd.
Post by: Deteramot on January 03, 2011, 08:59:04 pm
I'd like to repeat my request for dwarfing and also to request being put on the list of future overseers. I believe I requested the name of Dete and either being a Smith or a warrior of some sort.
Post by: Robocorn on January 03, 2011, 10:57:13 pm
Slate 21st, 525
It's nice to get a gift, even if it's from a madman. Some poor fellow bestowed upon me this journal that chronicled his life. I'm not sure if he wanted me to tell his story or something but I consider the gift to be at the very least. The fellow's obsession with cheese seems a bit unorthodox, but his remaining comrades seem to think he was some kind of master cheese maker. His entries make his incompetence abvious, but perhaps there is a way to use this to my advantage.
As for the fort itself, it surely lives up to its name in the sense of its condition. The place literally reeks of failure from the fetid waters of the blueness to the bloated goblin corpses festering on the parched shores. The smell doesn't really hit you until you're about 200 yards from the shore. At that time, the Coastal winds whip the rotten salty smell at your face at high speeds. There's no way to prepare yourself for it and several of my traveling companions vomited during the approach. It smells almost exactly like some kind of urine, the resemblance is uncanny.
The occupants of the fort are, almost in there entirety, infirm.
(http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/5100/30669453.png)
Those who aren't crippled are either horridly depressed and throw temper tantrums or are mysteriously nonchalant about dealing with dwarven offal day in and day out, as though they are completely detatched from the reality of their situation. There seems to have been a goblin attack late last year that massacred the entire military force and most of the civilian population. The accounts vary from several warbands with elite leaders to a full army of goblins overrunning the fort. The records, however show that less than 20 goblins were found dead and captured in the fort with around 50 dwarves killed and nearly 14 injured. I cannot express in words how fucking unacceptable that is.
The remaining overseers are weak, which presents many opportunities for me to gain a foothold in this battlewasted cesspool. Led's still cocky about her "success" in Battlefailed. She thinks our kind are sedate and predictable, like ants beneath her feet. She and her administration will learn the follies of her hubris if I have to submerge them all in the red hot lifeblood of the earth.
-Kivish
Slate 26th, 525
Gaining a position in Failcannon was almost too easy. I knew from the journal of a cheese making complex and needed only to remark of the current cheesemakers imminent insanity then to get access to the complex. Aik was too concerned by her collapsing fort to deny anyone enthusiastic an opportunity to contribute to the evergrowing mess that is Failcannon.
(http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/5321/40954418.png)
All it needs is a little De-Corpsing, and this cheese area will be perfect for my preparations. And if anyone actually wants cheese, I'm at least legally a dairy specialist. If my other skills outweigh it more then it's simply an advantage for me. A cover job comes in handy when the guards of Graspedseduce come to weed out insubordinants. Which isn't to say I'm bad at Milking.
(http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/9284/24170481.png)
But those guards will feel my wrath oh so much more after I've gotten my training done here.
-Kivish
Felsite 1st, 525
(http://img838.imageshack.us/img838/4857/95088799.png)
My plans may go forward faster than I had anticipated. The previous militia commander of the fort who had been placed in charge after the previous leader perished in the goblin debacle had succumbed to his depression and become unfit to lead the nonexistent fighting force that was assigned to protect Failcannon from its foes.
I quickly rounded up Aik and made my claim for the position. Her indifference to the idea sealed my rise to power. As she tacitly accepted my proposal. As a newly established militia leader my first steps were to gather soldiers to fight under me. Today already I managed to draft a naive woodsdwarf who seemed as though she had barely even lifted an axe before. Her name is Urist Imiknorris and she'll be the first of many to join my New Holy Irons.
Things are going quite swimmingly since my arrival. Everything's looking up
-Kivish
I'm about halfway done with the 18 month super-stretch. I didn't really fall out of practice with the game, it's just hard to plan anything out at 9 Frames per Second.
I'll see how far I can get by the end of the week.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 04, 2011, 08:49:39 am
Hurray for crazy overseer dwarfs.
I'd like to repeat my request for dwarfing and also to request being put on the list of future overseers. I believe I requested the name of Dete and either being a Smith or a warrior of some sort.
Noted, but I'm in no position to update the OP. My father's computer decided to shit itself, so I'm stuck browsing on my DS. This post was painful to type.
Post by: Oglokoog on January 04, 2011, 03:00:48 pm
My father's computer decided to shit itself, so I'm stuck browsing on my DS. This post was painful to type.Fresh Nokia C3-00 owner here, hehe. Full qwerty keyboard for the win :D
Also, looking back at that gif of mine, I realize it's really quite bad. Not funny bad, just bad bad. Especially the beard could use some more work. I can't go back to it now (didn't save .xcf), but I think I'll create similar thingies for future intermissions (which should no longer be driven by the primitive, animalistic desire to make a reference).
Post by: Robocorn on January 04, 2011, 03:55:25 pm
One time My Keyboard broke and I had to use my tablet writing program
The rerltr were her than optimal to ray the least
Apparently My hardwiring blows and my compute knows H
^^Tablet written
so, anyone else want to be Dorfed?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 04, 2011, 05:17:23 pm
Updated OP.
Post by: Robocorn on January 04, 2011, 06:18:28 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on January 04, 2011, 08:14:57 pm
Post by: Robocorn on January 05, 2011, 05:57:13 pm
Goblins came today and I was filled with enthusiasm for their slaughter. The mayor was less than enthusiastic about dispatching my squadron and instead opted to lock all of the doors and pretend nobody was home. This is quite possibly the least dwarven thing that has ever been suggested to me by a member of my own kind but I let it slide considering the shaken nature of the mayor. Stone doors perplex the greenskins yet they are somehow capable of cast moulding those gargantuan obsidian monoliths that we dwelt in in Graspedseduce. Their inability or reluctance to use their warhammers on our doors is surely to our advantage. There was a lone casualty. The goblin snipers caught sight of the madman Robocorn dancing naked atop the cheese complex and pegged hm in the throat. The administration's inability to prepare proper graves will most likely result in an Ignominous open burial somewhere.
To say this book is the last remnants of his sorry existence would be accurate. Perhaps it's best he died not knowing what a madman everyone thought he was.
Felsite 19th, 525
I guess we weren't the real targets of the goblin's wrath after all.
(http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/7338/93438678.png)
I've mostly been indifferent to elves, I've never had much contact with their kind. From what I've heard in stories, they're an obnoxious bunch of tree worshipping cannibals that attempt to use their numbers to threaten forts. It matters not what their intentions were coming to Failcannon, but they show great prowess in absorbing crossbow bolts.
Felsite 21, 525
I can't say I appreciate their intentions but I can't help but admire the spirit of goblin commerce.
(http://img816.imageshack.us/img816/2990/33441435.png)
Hematite 2nd, 525
Summer has come and the reeking sea seems to exude its fragrance with even greater gusto in the balmy summer air. Though lately strange things have been happening around the cheese complex. Parts of the complex have been chilling on their own. Tools have been misplaced at a faster rate than usual and mason workers have complained about a whining noise that permeates the structure. I'll investigate the matter further.
Hematite 10th, 525
I've investigated the strange occurrence and found one thing for sure at its source
(http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/3685/17665280.png)
Ghosts. I didn't believe in ghosts before I came to Failcannon, but this DuckThatQuacks seems to be a legitimate spectre. The phantom seemed to lament that he was left unburied in such disgrace and returned to nag his loved ones into giving him a final resting place. If I had believed in ghosts it is quite possible I would have been more careful with many of our more unorthodox burial practices (http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/5457/corpsestack.png)
regardless, he will not get his wish, we're too busy to haul around sarcophagi. I don't know what kind of enthusiasm he expected when he crossed over back to Failcannon.
Hematite 23, 525
I don't care what Aik says anymore. I'm the military leader. I'll make my will be known with or without her approval. The goblins haven't fallen for her ruse. They've remained here for several weeks, camping just outside our walls.
(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/3149/39297245.png)
The dwarves of Failcannon are beginning to stagnate, fewer and fewer jobs are being completed and morale is at an all time low because of the phantoms. I'm drafting a huge lot of them and training them so we can finally establish security from this goblin menace.
Malachite 3rd, 525
Migrants were spotted coming over the hills. The back door was unlocked so the migrants could enter on the off chance the goblins didn't catch them first.
(http://img818.imageshack.us/img818/3018/17544443.png)
fortunately for them, they all make it within the haunted aegis of Failcannon before the goblins begin their pursuit.
Malachite 6th, 525
I never thought that goblins would be so perplexed by a locked door.
(http://img338.imageshack.us/img338/3342/83934166.png)
It gives me an Idea that I'll put into motion soon.
taking a break because I need to eat
Post by: Oglokoog on January 05, 2011, 06:03:53 pm
Post by: Robocorn on January 05, 2011, 10:45:39 pm
Bon appetit.Thanks, I guess
Malachite 13, 525
What
(http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/9639/62531581.png)
The
(http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/1506/47953997.png)
Fuck
(http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/6681/15853469.png)
The goblins were just coming below some of the suspended platforms, I a dwarf was ordered to pull the lever and some huge platform fell through the feeble earth of the plain of ooze through the tunnels we'd bored. revealing us to the goblins. it's almost as though whoever designed this stupid thing wasn't in communication with whoever designed the tunnel.
Malachite 15th, 525
The goblins have returned to their previous position on the plains leaving us no tactical position from which to strike them. Our only chances are to outnumber their crossbowmen with our own. Which could take years as far as the managemant of this fort is going. I can only train my swordplay in preparation for our next assault.
Galena 1st, 525
The weeks have been quiet. The goblins wait outside our walls waiting for any opportunity to penetrate them.
(http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/4655/50808365.png)
Our new training area above the cheese complex is finished today but I have my doubts that any of these fools will be able to defend themselves.
(http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/2438/51219797.png)
The past weeks have been unproductive and morale has yet to improve. We may very well have to wait out many months before we are powerful enough to take them on. Waiting is not something I'm comfortable with. I'll never be able to kill Led if I spend my whole life hiding from goblins.
Galena 14th, 525
The endless humdrum of training was end briefly today when a caravan was spotted to the east. Humans had come to trade. I'm sure Aik will be more than willing once they overcome our most prominent obstacle: The Goblins.
(http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/6889/41762702.gif)
The Goblins and humans clashed
(http://img810.imageshack.us/img810/9046/93412578.png)
And the goblins scattered.
There's something to be said for stature, though it's something few dwarves would like to admit. Size is an advantage that cannot be overlooked, but it is far from the be all and end all of battles. likely the goblins were fatigued from thier weeks of camping and could have been dispatched by the Holy Irons once our training regiment was complete. Regardless, the important thing was that the goblins were gone.
Galena 24, 525
The traders had finally come to trade. The humans brought with them many things, but we weren't interested in all of it. Alcohol and weapons were what we were after. I asked for something specific to be imported beforehand. Pyromaniac, the broker seemed rather flustered during the whole ordeal. Offers were made, deals were broken, profanities were uttered, we seized what we wanted from the human caravan and sent it on its way. Pyromaniac refuses to tell me if he got me what I asked for.
Limestone 11th, 525
Times are looking up slightly. Autumn has come and the stench is dying down somewhat. The ghosts have become too commonplace to bother with anymore, and our once threatening alcohol shortage is a thing of the past. I've yet to get that zweihander I was after from the arsenal dwarf. It's existence was confirmed but it's wrapped in too much bureaucratic red tape for me to get my hands on it at this time. I'll be unstoppable when I have it in my posession. none will dare stand before me goblin, Led or otherwise.
Sandstone 2nd, 525
I heard one of my subordinates talking today. something about my absence. Though i have been spending the last few weeks tucked away in the warmth of the forges near the lower barracks it doesn't mean I've abandoned them. I'll just be working on a few things behind the scenes. It may be a risk on my part to keep documenting my plans in this book. Goodbye for now, journal. Perhaps when my rise to power is secured I'll recover you again. the gifts you get from a madman eh?
-Kivish
That's a year, 12 months. From where the save I got left off. I had to have spent at least 15 hours this week on these updates alone so i hope my successors have better computers than me.
PS. I can't really get any of the dwarves to do anything. It's possible that I just suck at the military menu thing or maybe my framerate is so bad I can't tell that they're responding but I really think it's just ignoring my input for some reason. Maybe some orders are screwed up somewhere, I don't know.
SAVE IS HERE (http://download768.mediafire.com/x4k4pc8t0feg/k9o0kmo5hhn33yz/Failcannon.zip)
Post by: SethCreiyd on January 06, 2011, 12:33:37 am
Too bad about the floor-trap though, we'll need a new way to deal with the adamantine-deflecting-demon that may or may not come to visit. I didn't intend for it to punch a hole in the tunnel, at any rate, sorry if that caused undue frustration.
Edit: Also: awesome turn!
Post by: Robocorn on January 06, 2011, 01:25:38 am
Not one thing I got right
I never actually made any cheese. The fort has about half as much cheese as it did when i started last sandstone. Nobody fed the infirm and they've all died and I had them chucked into the sea because nobody would set up graves. I couldn't get anymore cages so I put a door in front of LordSlowpoke's death gauntlet and just kept it locked all the time. I failed a trading with the humans so I had to seize their stuff because they quit the haggle game. Kivish never got trained, not even a little, she glitched herself into standing halfway from the bottom while she waited to give training instructions to dwarves at entirely different barracks. Hell, I couldn't even get her to pick up a two handed sword, of which we have five apparently.
I guess I had to fill in the time with characterization because otherwise it would be just screenshots of me screwing up.
Also: There was adamantine? shit, did I use the wrong save? I didn't see any.
EDIT: Firefox says it's the same save, guess I'm just dumb and couldn't find it. Durr
Post by: SethCreiyd on January 06, 2011, 02:34:47 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 06, 2011, 04:43:33 pm
PM'd LAAT501Legion.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 07, 2011, 11:58:03 am
Post by: LAAT501legion on January 08, 2011, 07:37:42 am
Post by: NightmareBros on January 08, 2011, 09:23:28 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 09, 2011, 06:47:23 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 10, 2011, 08:38:04 am
PM'd MadJax.
Post by: mrbobbyg on January 10, 2011, 09:45:12 am
Post by: NightmareBros on January 11, 2011, 12:46:13 pm
Post by: Megaman3321 on January 11, 2011, 01:17:44 pm
1) Please dwarf me as a military man, nickname Megaman, custom profession PAINBRINGER! or PAINER!, and
2) sign me up for a turn, assuming that the fort survives that long.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 11, 2011, 10:55:58 pm
EDIT: Control passes to Flagrarus in thirteen hours (12:00 PM my time).
Post by: NightmareBros on January 12, 2011, 03:38:21 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 12, 2011, 04:45:20 pm
EDIT: "Appling" is definitely probably not a real word.
Post by: Flagrarus on January 12, 2011, 08:56:23 pm
I figured I would have at least another week before my turn would come. I don't want to be the fourth person in a row to skip their turn, but... yeah, I'm going to have to do that. Even if I started now, I probably won't be able to update from saturday until friday.
Would that be alright with you guys, or should I just skip my turn as well?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 12, 2011, 09:11:33 pm
Post by: Flagrarus on January 12, 2011, 09:24:45 pm
Honestly, I'd say go for it. We can afford to have a turn run long after three skips in a row.
That's what I'll do then. It's 3 am where I live though, so I won't start playing yet, but you can expect an update within the next 24 hours. Maybe even 12.
Post by: Deteramot on January 13, 2011, 02:26:23 am
Post by: Flagrarus on January 13, 2011, 08:35:50 am
I really just don't get it. How do I open this save? I don't want to have to ask stuff all the time, but I've never done a succession game before. Maybe I should have mentioned that, huh?
I'll still try to write an update ( as soon as I manage to actually start playing ), but if I can't, that probably means I'll have to skip my turn as well. I can deal with one problem like this, but if I keep running into them even after I get started I know I won't have time to play at all...
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 13, 2011, 09:46:55 am
Post by: Flagrarus on January 13, 2011, 01:40:16 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on January 13, 2011, 02:04:59 pm
Alright, it's Aik's turn now... hopefully...
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 13, 2011, 07:03:06 pm
Post by: Aik on January 13, 2011, 07:51:36 pm
Post by: Andreus on January 14, 2011, 12:32:50 am
Post by: Aik on January 14, 2011, 04:46:48 am
I'd like to make some pearlash so I can make the clear glass windows that I'm mandating - it seems that the kilns have been hijacked by bone block production though. How do I swap it back?
Also ... is there any reason why there's an enclosed gold tower sitting outside?
Is there any way to get inside the fortress? Seems that someone is stuck out there.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on January 14, 2011, 08:44:30 am
Also ... is there any reason why there's an enclosed gold tower sitting outside?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I doubt I ever mentioned it, actually.
Post by: Zathel on January 14, 2011, 02:52:55 pm
it seems that the kilns have been hijacked by bone block production though.
Bone blocks? We're still making them?
And I thought that idea died along with that unfinished skull totem I tried to build in Battlefailed.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 14, 2011, 05:29:40 pm
Just take two magma kilns, remove their bone block tasks, and queue up pearlash jobs on repeat.
Post by: Aik on January 16, 2011, 06:37:47 am
There seems to be a communication problem between the top and bottom of the fort - the siege workshop at the top can't see the copper ballista arrowheads in the magma forge, and the magma kiln can't see the potash up the top. No one seems willing to haul to stockpiles either - but it seems like the dwarves path up and down normally. Any ideas?
And, uh ... what should the new Andreus be named? :-X
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 16, 2011, 11:11:28 am
Post by: Megaman3321 on January 17, 2011, 06:58:15 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 18, 2011, 08:35:00 pm
Post by: Aik on January 19, 2011, 01:51:04 am
It might be best just to skip me and go to the next person - my computer isn't handling it very well (overheats), and my time just got eaten up by new projects. Sorry for continuing the general turn-taking fail.
Post by: Oglokoog on January 19, 2011, 03:43:29 am
Post by: NightmareBros on January 19, 2011, 06:11:41 am
Canalan, your up.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 19, 2011, 09:42:17 am
Post by: Mekboy on January 19, 2011, 05:29:27 pm
Just four more turns and my reign of terror can begin once more.
Can't wait to see how much it's changed (and by 'changed' I mean 'been filled with corpses')
Post by: Deviled on January 19, 2011, 05:30:21 pm
Post by: Canalan on January 19, 2011, 10:53:03 pm
I have no idea about how to work 31.whatever, but I guess I'll learn. I get a week, right? Expect updates on Friday. The first thing I'm gonna do is dorf myself.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 19, 2011, 10:56:43 pm
Take all the time you need as long asit's epicyou play the full year.
Post by: Weirdsound on January 20, 2011, 03:30:38 pm
Might as well do the obvious thing and ask for a Dwarfing and a spot on the list as well.
Post by: Canalan on January 20, 2011, 06:35:31 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Takuanuva on January 21, 2011, 05:47:58 pm
Wierdsound, as well as many, many others have been dorfed. This is my list of dorfings yet to be done.WHY WASN'T ANDREUS DORFED IMMEDIATELLY? There MUST be at least one of them at the time.
To be dorfed:
...
Lur - diety
...
Andreus
...
Also, should be Lur on the dorfing list?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 21, 2011, 06:38:35 pm
Post by: Canalan on January 21, 2011, 10:03:55 pm
2nd Sandstone, 525
Today I finally became the Chief Medical Dwarf. Apparently the old one was worse at doctoring than I am! And since the old overseer Fish has withdrawn to the forge levels, I have decided to take up the mantle of Overdoctor. Dish has left me a lot of things to do. I discovered an empty coffin in a small room on one of the crypt levels. It is now mine. Also, apparently there are two separate forts in Failcannon. The grand stair is not linked together at its lowest level. I have ordered a connection to be dug.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
12th Sandstone, 525
Migrants!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
19th Sandstone, 525
what
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
20th Sandstone, 525
I had forgotten to record that our esteemed potash maker DuckThatQuacks II has apparently grabbed a workshop after withdrawing from our company. I fear that his “artifact” will be nothing more than a useless crown.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
23rd Sandstone, 525
Well that was fast.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
12th Timber, 525
Ah. Traders and the liaison.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Actually, I spoke too soon. After killing? two of the zorses, they made it inside. Maybe now work can go forward on that random roof. We traded some random stuff cluttering the depot for some more random stuff that will clutter the depot. Also two goblin ambush squads have apparently been sent to cull the local undead wildlife, and they do so admirably.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
18th Timber, 525
Finally.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
22nd Timber, 525
I finally sealed one of the holes in our defenses. The sea wall is ours!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
24th Timber, 525
DAMMIT
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
1st Moonstone, 525
The first day of winter. Not much else to say, other than I started consolidating refuse piles in a vain attempt to organize this place.
And that’s it for tonight. I had wanted to get through winter, but I am currently running at about 10 FPS. Grand total of three deaths, eight migrants and two wounded. Some futile organizational things, I bought mostly booze and food from the caravan just in case, and all of the reachable bodies are buried. I guess the rest of the bodies have been properly memorialized or whatever. I’ll try to get through the rest of my time over the weekend. If it just is too slow, I’ll turn it over at the end of winter. Look for more updates over the weekend!
Post by: Robocorn on January 22, 2011, 12:23:51 pm
I knew I wasn't crazy.
Incidentally, that is the reason for the corpsestack in the sea. all of the coffins I saw were stored where no dwarves would get them so I just dumped them. Are ghosts new?
Post by: Oglokoog on January 22, 2011, 01:37:47 pm
Are ghosts new?Added in .17
Great work so far, Canalan. I didn't even know I was the captain of the guard - and now I'm mayor! :D
Post by: Canalan on January 22, 2011, 01:50:32 pm
Also, I like the coffin room in the shape of an unhappy face.
EDIT: Is it ok if I turn temp off? I might gain enough FPS to make it playable.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 22, 2011, 03:19:24 pm
I think Aik's death was Justice related.
Post by: Korva on January 22, 2011, 03:27:48 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on January 22, 2011, 04:46:13 pm
Oglokoog… just killed Aik, the mayor and… became the mayor? I’m not sure it works that way. Anyways, I co-opted Aik’s old quarters, so this isn’t all bad.
It's happened once before. History is repeating itself.
You actually figured out how to connect the upper and lower forts? that had been bothering me my entire year.
I knew I wasn't crazy.
Incidentally, that is the reason for the corpsestack in the sea. all of the coffins I saw were stored where no dwarves would get them so I just dumped them. Are ghosts new?
Where was the fort separated? I didn't notice anywhere cut off. Maybe the baroness broke a bridge during her tantrums before she went nuts?
I think ghosts arrived in 31.13, which fit in pretty well with Battlefailed's setting and our standard of making mass graves. If you don't memorialize a dwarf they get angry and come back to haunt the fortress and cause unhappiness, move stuff around, or murder people until you pay the proper respect. I like to keep certain ghosts around, poltergeists really add character to a place.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 22, 2011, 05:31:35 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on January 22, 2011, 05:59:48 pm
The thought occurs that we might end up with multiple Andreus ghosts if we aren't careful.
Post by: Mekboy on January 22, 2011, 06:09:36 pm
Or something like that.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 22, 2011, 06:42:08 pm
Post by: Andreus on January 23, 2011, 07:39:24 am
Post by: Soapalope on January 23, 2011, 10:17:59 am
Sign me up, perhaps?
Post by: Canalan on January 24, 2011, 06:08:34 pm
8th Moonstone, 525
That roof over the barracks was finally completed today.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
27th Moonstone, 525
I don’t think anyone was surprised when this happened.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
2nd Obsidian, 525
Things have been uneventful, thank Avuz. Built a cage and assigned all the strays to it. Somehow the boys got it in their heads to release a bat from the cage, and a constant stream of them were running up to me and complaining that they couldn’t get the bat out of the cage because they didn’t have a little animal trap.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
7th Obsidian, 525
Oh great, another ghost. This one breaks things.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
21st Obsidian, 525
So I guess we just became a county.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
1st Granite,
Gotta get used to the new date.
The first day of the new year has come. Intriguingly enough, a dog died on the exact toll of midnight. It serves as a reminder that, even as spring brings new life, it brings death.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And that’s winter. It’s really too bad that that caravan died, because if it had survived, I would have a count. I think. I turned off temperature and caged some animals and got a total FPS boost of 6. Still, anything helps. No new dorfings, so the list stands as it is. I continue to try and organize things, but everything I do is pointless in the face of such disorder. So. Should I go a year and hand it off in autumn, or should I go until winter to get it a little closer to spring?
FAKEEDIT: Please excuse my lateness in uploading. 15 FPS.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 24, 2011, 08:08:32 pm
Go until whenever you want (as long as it's no later than next spring).
Post by: Glacial on January 26, 2011, 08:41:14 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on January 27, 2011, 02:24:18 am
Post by: Mekboy on January 27, 2011, 05:22:18 am
Post by: Canalan on January 27, 2011, 06:48:19 pm
Post by: Megaman3321 on January 29, 2011, 09:29:49 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 30, 2011, 02:07:28 am
Post by: Canalan on January 31, 2011, 01:17:33 pm
Two seasons worth of progress on the writeup and game itself was lost.
Luckily, I had an old backup from year start, two seasons in. I am beginning from then.
Post by: Greader on January 31, 2011, 05:11:00 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 31, 2011, 07:19:17 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on February 02, 2011, 03:24:49 pm
Post by: Zeocin on February 02, 2011, 07:15:38 pm
Keep 'er alive guys!
Post by: NightmareBros on February 04, 2011, 08:07:13 pm
But I suppose a deadline has to be miplemnted soon for an update on the current situation or we might have to pass on, again.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 05, 2011, 12:33:37 am
Post by: Darvi on February 05, 2011, 09:05:30 am
I wanna see how much I can screw this up :P
Post by: Takuanuva on February 06, 2011, 05:17:06 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 07, 2011, 09:30:35 pm
Post by: Remalle on February 08, 2011, 05:17:48 pm
It's Failcannon. You'd have to nuke it to make it any worse.<dorf>Hey, that's a good idea!</dorf>
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 08, 2011, 06:29:33 pm
EDIT: Yet.
EDIT2: If the save hasn't been posted by tomorrow, we'll move on.
Post by: Takuanuva on February 09, 2011, 12:19:59 pm
Post by: Darvi on February 09, 2011, 02:04:43 pm
Post by: Takuanuva on February 09, 2011, 03:52:19 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 09, 2011, 10:37:35 pm
Post by: derekiv on February 10, 2011, 07:00:12 am
I guess this'll be fun!
Also, when did I sign up for this? It most have been at least 6 months ago.
Edit: Where's the save?
Edit: The first page *facepalm*
Final Edit: When does my turn end?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 10, 2011, 07:10:21 am
EDIT to your final edit: A week from now.
Post by: derekiv on February 12, 2011, 12:39:30 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on February 12, 2011, 01:31:58 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 12, 2011, 07:07:35 pm
Post by: Dariush on February 13, 2011, 09:40:42 am
Post by: Darvi on February 13, 2011, 10:04:37 am
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 13, 2011, 10:26:35 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 13, 2011, 01:04:23 pm
I'll get a new computer in a couple of days (that hopefully will run this at more than 8 fps), so I'd like to be postponed for three or four turns.You're after Painiac now.
Post by: derekiv on February 13, 2011, 09:15:40 pm
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 14, 2011, 08:57:12 pm
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 15, 2011, 09:52:30 pm
Alas, what I've found does not live up to those lofty expectations -- a mere thirty-seven dwarves hunkered down in a sprawling nightmare of a fortress. At the moment, Failcannon is worthless as a military bastion. It has numerous weak points -- it is, for example, vulnerable to an amphibious assault.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The "military" consists of a handful of ill-trained dwarves with mismatched equipment. Looking through the stockpiles for higher-quality kit, I found nothing but cheap iron weapons and low-grade gear that was apparently scavenged from goblins.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Nor is there any simple way to order anything new -- the supply chain is clogged up and inefficient.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It would seem that Failcannon has two things in abundance. The first is tallow.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The second is corpses.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Failcannon is littered with the rotting corpses of unfortunate dwarves. It looks like the citizens gave up on proper burials, and simply started piling bodies up wherever they could find space.
And those are only a few of the problems here. I haven't even mentioned the dread beasts that wander the depths, or the whispers of restless spirits stalking the halls of the fort.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/371157-F0ECL6Y.png)
Failcannon has a long way to go before it can serve as a bastion of the dwarven independence movement -- indeed, it is in imminent danger of collapsing. It looks like I arrived just in time.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/371162-NDOSJM5.png)
3 Sandstone, 525:
I decided to explain myself and my cause to the mayor today. He seemed largely disinterested, but was willing to put me in command of the military and to listen to my advice on strategic matters. As I left the meeting, I was approached by a dwarf who introduced herself as Andreus IX.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/371163-HPOG4YM.png)
I like a dwarf with a big number after their name; it's a sign of good breeding.
Andreus said she'd overheard my conversation with the mayor and believed in my cause. Since she's been at Failcannon for a while, she said, she can help me out with the administrative details of my job.
We got started immediately. My priorities are securing our perimeter, training a few soldiers, producing equipment, and cleaning up all these corpses. After we filled out the proper forms and sent them for the mayor's signature, Andreus asked if she could form a special team to investigate reports of paranormal activities. I've given her permission.
4 Sandstone, 525:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Tragedy struck today, as a neglected child died. I swear, one day Queen Led will pay for this.
5 Sandstone, 525:
Andreus has told me that nearly half the dwarves in the fort claim that they are unemployed, even though there is plenty to do. I tried to bring this up with the mayor, but he brushed me off. Doesn't he realize that that's no way to treat someone who has commanded dwarven troops who fought for his freedom?
8 Sandstone, 525:
I finally figured out why so many dwarves weren't doing anything. It seems that two levels of the fort had become disconnected -- there were stairs down from one level, but no stairs up from the next. The situation has been rectified, and the dwarves are now back to work.
I meant to ask Andreus how she knew that so many dwarves were idle when she couldn't go talk to them (what with the lack of stairs), but it slipped my mind when we met to discuss siege weapon production. I'll be sure to ask her later.
10 Sandstone, 525:
Now that the workers can finally move about, we managed to seal the gap in the southern wall that left us open to attack from the sea.
In other news, I convinced the mayor to order all our domestic animals caged, so that they'd stop getting in the way. Although he agreed with my suggestion, he was incredibly rude -- he didn't even have the courtesy to stop eating while we were discussing it. I don't like his disrespectful attitude.
12 Sandstone, 525:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/371165-NMM45PI.png)
More dwarves have come to Failcannon, no doubt attracted by the promise of freedom from Queen Led's tyranny. There were eight in all. None had any particular skills, but we can always use more dwarves to the work the furnaces or bury corpses.
14 Sandstone, 525:
Some of the recent arrivals pointed out to me that there is a vulnerability by Failcannon's entrance that allows enemies onto the walls, where they can fire down into the courtyard (in fact, Andreus tells me that just such a thing happened not too long ago). I've ordered it walled off.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
22 Sandstone, 525:
The mayor walked into my office today -- he didn't even knock! -- and handed me a pile of orders, without even bothering to speak to me. I'm getting sick of this bad treatment.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
24 Sandstone, 525:
One of our masons suddenly dropped what he was doing and began speaking in an unknown language.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/371169-RRNGYZX.png)
He has run to a workshop and begun gathering various objects. Andreus has asked if she can observe him -- she thinks that it might give her insight into how to deal with the ghosts that some of the dwarves have been talking about. I agreed that this sounded like a good idea (I didn't bother to check with the mayor; he would have just made a fuss about it).
27 Sandstone, 525:
Andreus reports that using what she learned from the possessed mason, her Paranormal Investigation Group has successfully ended our ghost problem.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Good, one less thing to worry about.
7 Timber, 525:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Our possessed mason finally began working on something today. I thought Andreus might be interested in watching him, but she said something about a spirit that won't talk to her being useless, or something. I was going to ask her what she meant but I suddenly remembered that I had to go inspect the defenses.
11 Timber, 525:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Our mason finished today, emerging with a bizzarely decorated weapon rack. He remembers little about making it, but insists that it is called Ugoskamut Dalzatsuvas (literally, "Hollowripper the Matched Luster").
12 Timber, 525:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/371176-JTX6AKC.png)
Supplies! I've ordered the drawbridge opened to let the traders in, but nobody is doing it. I've half a mind to go pull that lever myself.
13 Timber, 525:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/371177-MAPFPOS.png)
It's a good thing nobody opened the drawbridge -- the caravan has come under attack by goblins. I called up the militia, thinking to go to their aid, but as more and more goblins burst out of the trees, it became clear that there were simply too many.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The trader and his horse were slaughtered. The lone caravan guard put up a terrific fight, killing three goblins and maiming two more, but he was overwhelmed by the five squads of goblins.
The goblins are out of range of our crossbows, so we can't shoot them from the walls. Since we're heavily outnumbered, I've ruled out the possibility of a sortie. We'll have to wait the goblins out.
20 Timber, 525:
The goblins are still out there. We have everything we need inside the fortress, but I'm getting impatient. Andreus suggested letting them in, counting on the traps to thin their numbers before we engage them in the courtyard. It sounds like a good idea, but I want to build more traps, first.
27 Timber, 525:
The mayor burst into my office today as I was discussing logistics with the ever-helpful Andreus.
"Urist!" he shouted, "what's this I hear about even more defense spending?"
"It's for traps, Mr. Mayor," I said. "We're going to use them to kill off the goblins."
"Traps?" he said. "What about all those weapons you're making? All that armor? I thought that was supposed to protect us from the goblins!"
"Our soldiers aren't well-trained enough--" I tried to explain.
"What about the siege weapons?" he demanded.
"We still haven't gotten to the point where we can produce high-quality parts," I said, patiently, "and even if we had, the goblins aren't in a position where we could hit them. That's why we have to build pillbox--"
"And spend even more?" the mayor said, "that project is already 930% over budget!"
I was getting angry.
"Oh, and what would you have us focus on?" I asked. "Worthless, empty hallways?"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
"Public art projects?"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
"No," the mayor said, "I would focus on amulets. They are vital to our prosperity, and our cultural legacy. In fact, we will focus on amulets. I'm the mayor, and I'm in charge here."
With that, he stormed out of the room.
I was fuming.
"Does he have any idea what he's doing?" I asked. "He's putting our very lives at risk! At a time when we're surrounded by enemies, no less."
"It is short-sighted, sir," Andreus agreed. "He is becoming a significant impediment to our cause."
"I just don't understand how somebody like that got to be in charge," I said. "Failcannon needs a leader who understands how to move this fort forward."
Andreus gave me a significant look. I nodded, and she strode out of the room.
Post by: Dermonster on February 15, 2011, 10:06:44 pm
Post by: TurkeyXIII on February 16, 2011, 12:30:43 am
Post by: Oglokoog on February 16, 2011, 05:54:22 am
But why is it all smoothed? ???
Might have been me training miners + engravers.
Post by: Robocorn on February 16, 2011, 10:15:58 am
Blasphemy.
We should be making cheese!
Post by: Megaman3321 on February 16, 2011, 10:45:47 am
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 16, 2011, 10:03:46 pm
Mining is such a dangerous profession.
(http://i1218.photobucket.com/albums/dd412/duckthatquacks/CavernCollapse.png)
This morning there was an almighty crash, and the miners reported that there had been a major cave-in. All dwarves were accounted for except the mayor, leaving us to conclude that he had been caught in the collapse.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Since his body was presumably crushed under hundreds of tons of rock, there was no possibility of an
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It doesn't look like he'll be missed -- he is remembered primarily as a brutal tyrant.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The dwarves promptly elected a new mayor, choosing Pyromaniac to lead them.
5 Moonstone, 525:
Andreus and I met with the new mayor today, and I told him of the disagreements I'd had with the former mayor. I also suggested that he
6 Moonstone, 525:
The new mayor informed me today that he was passing legislation that meant that his signature would no longer be required to issue orders -- all that is needed is an official stamp. He kindly offered me such a stamp, and suggested that since he would rather not be bothered with the day-to-day running of the fort, I should take up the position of overseer.
(http://i1218.photobucket.com/albums/dd412/duckthatquacks/Nowanoverseer.png)
I humbly accepted, and Andreus agreed to take up an official position as my advisor.
(http://i1218.photobucket.com/albums/dd412/duckthatquacks/AndreustheAdvisor.png)
Things are looking up for Failcannon.
12 Moonstone, 525:
It was with great pleasure today that we buried the last of the corpses inside of the fortress. There are still bodies that we can't get to (outside the fortress, or in the ocean), but for now it's a relief to not have to look at decaying dwarves stuffed into corners while trying to eat.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
3 Opal, 525:
The mayor approached me today and said that he has been thinking about it, and he'd like to strike some small blow for the dwarven independence movement. I said it sounded like a fine plan, and he issued a proclamation saying that we would provide no thrones for Queen Led to sit on.
(http://i1218.photobucket.com/albums/dd412/duckthatquacks/Noexportingthrones.png)
It's mostly a symbolic gesture, but inspiring nonetheless.
7 Opal, 525:
While we were trying to fish corpses out of one of the lakes in the courtyard, we accidentally let it burst through an embankment.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It flooded the courtyard and made a mess, but it'll dry out and we managed to get the corpses and bury them properly.
10 Opal, 525:
The goblins that arrived last autumn are still out there. They occasionally skirmish with the local wilddeath
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
but they show no signs of leaving on their own.
I decided today that our traps were adequate, and that it was time to deal with the goblins. I've ordered all civilians underground, stationed the militia in the courtyard, and ordered the drawbridge lowered. The goblins are swarming in.
(http://i1218.photobucket.com/albums/dd412/duckthatquacks/IncomingGoblins.png)
11 Opal, 525:
Victory! The goblins charged headlong into our traps, which did their work with grim efficiency. While they flailed around in the entrance, I ordered our tiny militia to open fire. Surrounded by deadly traps and under heavy fire from our marksdwarves, the goblins fell back across the drawbridge and fled. All told, over a dozen were killed or captured. We suffered no casualties.
13 Opal, 525:
Andreus has requested that she be allowed to interrogate the prisoners captured during the goblin attack. I agreed to her request, and to her subsequent request that she be allowed to construct a special interrogation facility. Those both seemed reasonable. I also agreed to her request for numerous grates to "let the blood drain into the ritual chamber", although I'm not sure why -- that doesn't make much sense, now that I think about it. Still, Andreus is very helpful so it's worth indulging her little quirks.
7 Obsidian, 525:
(http://i1218.photobucket.com/albums/dd412/duckthatquacks/GhostlyDyer.png)
I'm receiving reports of more ghosts causing trouble in the fortress. Andreus has informed me that her Paranormal Investigation Group is on the case.
23 Obsidian, 525:
A breathless dwarf burst into my office today, declaring that there was an emergency.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
His pleasant drink had been interrupted by a dread beast from below! I called up the militia and ordered all civilians to evacuate to the surface.
We combed the fortress, but found no sign of the creature. I went back and found the dwarf who had raised the alarm, who admitted that he hadn't so much seen a beast as heard a sound through the walls that might have been a beast.
This is intolerable! Such a false alarm could provide a fatal distraction at a critical moment. It looks like we're going to need to stricter rules about what dwarves can and can't say if we want to stay focused on our goal (freedom for dwarfkind).
28 Obsidian, 525:
It's the eve of a new year. Tomorrow will be a day of celebration, but today was a sombre one: Failcannon's longest-surviving inhabitant passed away this morning.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
In other news, Andreus and I have been working on some major changes to the way the fortress is run, and we plan to introduce them early next year.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 16, 2011, 10:13:44 pm
Post by: Darvi on February 17, 2011, 06:26:33 am
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 17, 2011, 09:22:43 pm
Who killed the crazy cat lady?That was the late mayor.
Post by: Oglokoog on February 18, 2011, 12:12:03 pm
Aye, he was awesome.Who killed the crazy cat lady?That was the late mayor.
Also requesting redorfing, please. Preferably someone less fighty this time, to keep it varied.
Post by: Glacial on February 18, 2011, 12:30:45 pm
He'll be missed!
Post by: Andreus on February 18, 2011, 05:33:35 pm
:D
Post by: Zeocin on February 18, 2011, 06:41:47 pm
Today is my actual birthday. YOU GOT ME A RITUAL CHAMBER!
:D
Happy birthday! May it be filled with FUN.
Post by: Ledi on February 20, 2011, 03:44:09 am
Who killed the crazy cat lady?
*sob* It was not to be.
...If you find another one, could I be redwarfed please? Ledi-ii (yes, it would be pronounced Led-ee-ee-ee XD) I want to gather all the cats I can, and keep them safe and happy and away from those mad butchers who think they only belong in a stew! *hoards kitties*
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 21, 2011, 04:05:10 pm
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 22, 2011, 07:01:39 pm
Despite my heroic efforts, Failcannon is stagnating. Our production has hardly increased at all, and our militia remains tiny and inadequate. It has become clear to me that the problem is the inefficient civilian administration. As such, I am dissolving the civilian government.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/376727-S8J8HNQ.png)
From now on, the mayor shall serve a purely ceremonial role; all decision-making power shall be vested in the head of Failcannon's military.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/376728-9S5ECQP.png)
To maintain order, I am establishing a new guard force. They shall be called the Legions of Civic-Minded Dwarves Devoted to Maintaining the Peace, Administering Justice, Improving the Lives of All Dwarfkind, and Filling Our Enemies with Terror (or "Legions of Terror" for short). For her record of distinguished service, I have given Andreus a commission in the military and placed her in command of the Legions.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/376729-QDOXVVC.png)
Now that I finally have unfettered control of the fortress, I can lead our people to freedom and prosperity.
17 Granite, 526:
Already, my policies are vindicated.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/376730-34XYA30.png)
One of our dwarves has been struck with inspiration, and is busily gathering materials in a mason's workshop. Such a thing could never have happened without my canny and benevolent rulership.
2 Slate, 526:
After working non-stop for almost a week, Datan has emerged with his masterpiece.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/376731-1AR8N8O.png)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It's name means "The Bent Vessel." I shall have to find a suitable place for it.
5 Slate, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/376733-BH3W36J.png)
It would seem that my diligent efforts have made Failcannon a beacon to all dwarfkind, so that they flock to it despite its reputation as a dangerous place. I sent my Legions of Terror out to
26 Slate, 526:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
There's a rumor sweeping the fort that a deceased bowyer has risen from the dead, determined to trouble the living. Andreus has assured me that she's on the case.
14 Felsite, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/376737-Z55S1FF.png)
A filthy kobold was found in the courtyard today, trying to steal our hard-earned wealth! It attacked a bystander as it fled, but only managed to slash her cloak.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
16 Felsite, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/376739-L3BBZ4I.png)
(http://sadpanda.us/images/376740-F9ZNR0X.png)
More kobolds! It looks like the one we discovered a few days back must have told them stories of our wealth. Fortunately, we chased these ones off before they could take anything.
17 Felsite, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/376741-VS0NY65.png)
A particularly skillful thief managed to make it all the way inside the fortress before being discovered.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/376742-NFV608S.png)
Although this one was, like the others, driven off before it could steal anything, I can't help thinking that such a concerted effort at robbery is tantamount to an act of war.
18 Felsite, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/376743-1TDQNMK.png)
I didn't expect this. A large party of elves has arrived, saying they wish to trade with us. I ordered the Legions of Terror out to
20 Felsite, 526:
The elves are safely inside, and they gave us wood, alcohol, and exotic animals in exchange for several sacks of dirty laundry.
28 Felsite, 526:
We tried some more trading with the elves today, offering some old knick-knacks in exchange for some of their more interesting food. Unfortunately, one of the items was decorated with wood, and the elves got offended and refused to do any more business with us. I really don't understand it -- they'll happily give us a barrel of fine wine in exchange for a few blood-soaked rags, but offer them something with just a tiny bit of wood and they get all upset.
I was sorely tempted to kill them all, but decided that it would be better if they left and spread the word of our wealth and power.
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 24, 2011, 07:45:22 pm
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378824-S5892OL.png)
Andreus reports that the latest poltergeist problem has been resolved. She is remarkably skilled in handling such occult matters.
7 Hematite, 526:
As I was walking to the dining hall today, I overheard dwarves complaining about me. "Power-hungry tyrant," somebody said! While I thoroughly support free speech and lively debate, outright sedition is intolerable! If we are going to champion the cause of dwarven freedom, we must have stability -- such dangerous talk much be stopped. I've ordered the Legions to carry out an investigation.
9 Hematite, 526:
My Legions of Terror uncovered a cowardly plot to unseat me! I had them round up the ringleaders.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
To confuse any other rebels that might be lurking in the fort, I had them arrested on the charges of exporting banned items, rather than charges of treason. I can't let the rebels know that I'm on to them.
26 Hematite, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378829-AYG28TZ.png)
Ha! The nay-sayers in the rebellion all claim that I'm a failure, but eight more dwarves arrived to join the cause of freedom!
28 Hematite, 526:
Today, Andreus informed me that she was ready to begin interrogating the prisoners taken in the last goblin attack. I told her to go right ahead, and I agreed to let her execute them when she was done (she called it "sacrificing" them, but that was probably just a slip of the tongue).
7 Malachite, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378830-F7LWBGR.png)
Another dread beast has come to trouble our glorious fortress! The constant menace of Them Below must be dealt with! Not today, but someday soon...
15 Malachite, 526:
I've determined the perfect task for The Bent Vessel, the artifact floodgate that an inspired dwarf produced last Slate. It shall hold back the sea itself!
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378831-96JMWOH.png)
And when it is opened, the current shall sweep the bodies of our fallen comrades into the tunnels where we can bury them properly.
16 Malachite, 526:
This is most curious -- when we began to drain the sea, the corpses were swept towards our access tunnel, but then they simply vanished. This can only mean one thing: those worthless rebels sabotaged the operation! It's bad enough that they challenge my benevolent rule, but now they have dishonored our fallen comrades! The rebel leaders in prison have been looking suspiciously happy.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I've ordered their rations reduced.
3 Galena, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378833-M8BKR13.png)
One of our workers has been inspired by my glorious example! He is rushing towards the forges.
5 Galena, 526:
Erib claimed a forge, grabbed a single bronze bar, and got to work. I like his directness.
9 Galena, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378834-YEJ0L0L.png)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Erib has completed the mighty chain Evenedfords! Andreus asked if she could have it, and I said she could. She looked pleased, and as she walked off I thought I heard her muttering something about a "ritual chamber" and being able to "restrain the gods themselves", but it was probably just my imagination. Or, worse yet, a plot by those dastardly rebels to sow discord between myself and my trusted lieutenant! They will pay...
17 Galena, early morning, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378836-7CSGZKP.png)
One of the imprisoned rebel leaders died today. It seems that somebody forgot to bring her anything to drink. All I can say is that she deserved it.
17 Galena, mid-morning, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378838-KWXWN88.png)
The goblins are here! Is it any coincidence that they showed up so soon after the rebel leader died? I think not! They obviously hope to avenge their ally's death! Where is my sword? To arms!
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378839-TWISRZA.png)
Bah! More goblins? It matters not, for I AM INVINCIBLE!
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378840-1TVR3AT.png)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
17 Galena, early-afternoon, 526:
The sound of crossbow bolts thudding into my enemies signaled the arrival of my Legions of Terror. They quickly finished off the goblins.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
On the horizon, I noticed another, friendlier group approaching.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378843-TMJBCJQ.png)
But yet more goblins are charging towards the human flank!
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378844-2CMWD5Y.png)
The caravan guards are forming up while the traders race towards the fortress, and my Legions of Terror and I are on our way to help out. I've spotted the enemy leader -- a great hulking goblin with a massive two-handed sword. I've ordered my soldiers to leave him to me.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
17 Galena, early-evening, 526:
Victory! All invaders have been killed or driven off, and none of our soldiers or the humans were killed! A kidnapper and a thief tried to sneak in during the chaos,
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378846-FCPN9TE.png)
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378847-NT9XA3Q.png)
but the human guards discovered them, killing the snatcher and driving off the thief.
For her courage in battle, I have bestowed Cog Walledpassion, a humble soldier, with the title "Helmed Violence-Plane of Smoothness." It is a noble title for a noble dwarf that accurately reflects the fact that she is one smooth, helm-wearing violence-plane.
After I made the announcement, I overheard some dwarves whispering that I've gone mad. I would have them thrown in prison if the charges weren't so ridiculous. Me? Mad? Would a mad dwarf have made the far-sighted decision to bolster our strategic cheese reserves?
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378848-FCFB102.png)
I think not.
21 Galena, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378849-AU17YDD.png)
What? More cowardly goblins, lurking in the trees, waiting for a time when civilians were outside the fortress -- no doubt they were told by the rebels that now would be a fine time to strike! My Legions of Terror crushed them all, but not before they slew three brave dwarves.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378851-39W33C6.png)
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378852-FCB623D.png)
(http://sadpanda.us/images/378854-LWW75W6.png)
27 Galena, 526:
We traded with the humans today, offering a variety of trinkets in exchange for wood, drink, seeds, and food. I made sure to get all of their cheese (they had a lot), since I'm not sure that domestic production will allow us to build a sufficiently large reserve.
If nobody minds too much, I am probably going to overshoot my allotted year by two months so that I can end at a season-change (although if this is really a problem, I'll do my best to stop at the end of Limestone). In other news, Oglokoog and Ledi-ii have been dwarfed, as a surgeon and
Post by: Darvi on February 24, 2011, 07:51:47 pm
Post by: Dermonster on February 24, 2011, 08:00:19 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 24, 2011, 08:26:16 pm
Post by: Dermonster on February 24, 2011, 08:27:28 pm
And how can we get more?
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 26, 2011, 10:32:08 am
5 Limestone, 526:
I've ordered the militia to begin limited surface patrols. This should suppress the wilddeath population and allow us to complete the roads.
7 Limestone, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380448-0XD44EP.png)
The second of the imprisoned rebel leaders has died after
24 Limestone, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380449-U52S13I.png)
Another horror! Here to raid our cheese stockpiles, no doubt. If only we had the dwarfpower, I'd show these disgusting creatures a thing or two.
26 Limestone, 526:
The mayor has declared that only Failcannon should enjoy the rousing music of the trumpet.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380450-0ECQ2RS.png)
I couldn't agree more. Without trumpets to inspire them, our enemies will have a harder time marching into battle. Nonetheless, I've had the mayor flogged for overstepping his authority.
26 Sandstone, 526:
At last, we have broken the final rebel leader!
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380451-H4T0B7X.png)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
All internal dissent has been crushed, and my rule is secured forever! The Legions of Terror shall hold a parade.
27 Sandstone, 526:
I was awakened from my sleep last night by somebody moaning:
"Cheeeeeeeeeeese. Need cheeeeeese. CHEESE!"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Somebody is out to raid our cheese stockpiles! Andreus says this is probably another spirit, and she can deal with it, but she doesn't think it will actually take our cheese. I hope she's right.
Later in the day, ten more dwarves arrived to join us!
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380454-KKUC2CY.png)
1 Timber, 526:
We completed the roads today. I have withdrawn our troops to give them a rest -- we don't have the dwarfpower to patrol every month of the year.
6 Timber, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380455-7I08FN0.png)
The incessant demands for cheese have finally stopped. I'm pleased to report that whatever it was failed to get any of our precious cheese. We now have over a hundred units in our strategic cheese reserve.
13 Timber, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380456-EME8P6O.png)
Another spirit is rumored to be wandering the fortress, overturning furniture. It is doubtless searching for our hidden cheese stockpiles! It must be stopped!
19 Timber, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380457-RMD6TLA.png)
A caravan has arrived, carrying vital goods. Like cheese. Andreus says that maybe I should focus on something other than cheese, but she is wrong. See! Our diligent efforts have attracted the attention of a great cheesesmith!
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380458-VV7OYVN.png)
20 Timber, 526:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380465-TDQY27O.png)
The caravan has come under attack! I'm calling up the militia.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380467-VHJKW23.png)
No! The cheesesmith has been waylaid by another party of goblins!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
NOOOOOOOOO!!! CHAAAAARGE!!!!
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380471-2NGPF9B.png)
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380472-BW9SQBT.png)
21 Timber, 526:
We have triumphed again, avenging the poor cheesesmith, but it is a bittersweet victory. Cog Walledpassion, the hero of the previous battle, was gravely injured and had to be carried from the field.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I hope that she lives, for she is truly a vicious warrior: during the battle, she bit a goblin's head off.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The caravan guards drove off the band that attacked them, but a guard and a trader were killed. The remaining merchants are just standing there, dumbstruck.
26 Timber, 526:
The merchants finally wandered off today.
1 Moonstone, 526:
My reign is now completely secure and immune to any and all challenges. As such, I am going to delegate the non-military aspects of my job to another. I shall maintain control of the militia, but day-to-day management of the fortress will be left to somebody else. Who, you ask?
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380477-5Y4C6B8.png)
My daughter, of course. I have no doubt that she will be a wise and competent administrator who will certainly not be anyone's puppet.
In light of the past year's goblin attacks, I've reorganized the military's schedule -- we can't patrol year-round, but we can patrol heavily when we expect caravans. I've also begun training two new squads, The Creative Seals and The Trumpets of Wilting. They'll need better equipment before they can be sent into battle, though (it may be time to start mass-producing suits of bronze armor).
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go drive off a skeletal horse that is giving some of our dwarves trouble.
Spoiler: Final Status (click to show/hide)
In my turn, I:
- Buried a lot of corpses, and held down the ghosts (see below)
- Trained up a militia and fought off several ambushes
- Actually managed to do some trading
- Got a bunch of migrants
- Made a bunch of equipment, including nine suits of bronze armor. However, now that we have more dwarves, it might be time to assign more than one of them to armorsmithing.
- Made a ton of bins to put all our crap in.
- Made/acquired lots of cheese (figure below does not include 28 cheese roasts)
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380480-PFFZ73I.png)
Now, I mentioned the ghosts. There is currently a Glacial ghost wandering around the fort. It's last name does not match the last name of either of the deceased Glacials in the fort's records. I ordered memorials made to both Glacials; the first didn't work and the second is still in production. If the second slab doesn't work, this ghost may prove troublesome.
Here's the save: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3854
Best of luck to the next overseer!
Post by: Mekboy on February 26, 2011, 05:40:20 pm
EDIT: Okay, sorry about this guys, but I'll have to drop out. This FPS is crippling. I've been playing for 1 hour and literallly 2 days have passed.
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 26, 2011, 07:35:00 pm
Those corpses all mysteriously vanished when I tried to suck them into an access tunnel where we could bury them. And now they no longer appear among the lists of the dead, and we can't engrave memorials to them, but they can still come back as ghosts.
Post by: Glacial on February 26, 2011, 07:36:39 pm
(Or just leave me haunting. It makes me happy.)
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 26, 2011, 07:54:40 pm
(http://sadpanda.us/images/380843-PTAVDRX.png)
So perhaps future overseers can follow your suggestion to try to retrieve the invisible corpses in the hallway. But retrieving invisible corpses from the ocean is going to be tough. It's a good thing haunting makes you happy, because you may be doing it for a long time.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 26, 2011, 08:43:34 pm
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 26, 2011, 09:22:24 pm
We can't even memorialize them?
Not Glacial, at least -- I can't find him in the list of choices for engraving into a slab.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 27, 2011, 11:13:10 am
Or maybe his ghost will haunt the fortress until a fell dwarf murders him.
Post by: Remalle on February 27, 2011, 12:02:18 pm
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on February 27, 2011, 12:17:51 pm
Can you find him in the unit list? Maybe you missed it and temporarily changing his name to something like HEY OVER HERE IT'S ME GLACIAL will help.
Or maybe his ghost will haunt the fortress until a fell dwarf murders him.
While it is of course possible that I am just missing him, I couldn't find him in the unit list.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 27, 2011, 12:39:37 pm
Post by: Scaraban on February 27, 2011, 02:51:51 pm
Post by: LordSlowpoke on February 28, 2011, 08:00:15 am
Post by: Zeocin on February 28, 2011, 06:53:03 pm
So Glacial has become an unperson...
This is doubleplus ungood :<
Post by: Darvi on February 28, 2011, 06:55:36 pm
Post by: Zeocin on February 28, 2011, 07:02:36 pm
So whose turn is it now? Painiac's?
I believe it is this mysterious Mekboy's.
Post by: Darvi on February 28, 2011, 07:08:44 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 28, 2011, 07:49:43 pm
Post by: Painiac on March 01, 2011, 01:25:20 am
Post by: Zeocin on March 01, 2011, 12:30:41 pm
He said he'd skip his turn 'cause of Eff Pee Ess.
Truly, our ultimate foe.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 01, 2011, 12:53:48 pm
Post by: Remalle on March 01, 2011, 03:46:36 pm
RL and FPS joined forces to stop seven players in a row from playing.Ah, yes, the unholy union that's been the end of too many a good player...
Post by: filthywalrus on March 01, 2011, 08:15:30 pm
Post by: Painiac on March 02, 2011, 12:38:27 pm
Post by: Scaraban on March 02, 2011, 01:11:36 pm
*fistshaking*
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 02, 2011, 04:53:12 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on March 02, 2011, 06:50:31 pm
Let's make it happen!
Post by: Dariush on March 03, 2011, 12:44:59 pm
Mwahahaha.
By the way, can I move to 31.19?
Post by: Dariush on March 03, 2011, 02:33:48 pm
Cough.
Cough.
I'm still alive.
I stared at the ceiling of the low chamber, funny circles swimming before my eyes, dust from the most recent cave-in still settling around.
A voice in my head boomed:
From this day I shall be known as Dariush the Third, the ruler of this fortress.
The thought wasn't mine.
Now, what this place needs is a serious revamping. I looked into the most vital part of such an insanity-inducing fortress - it's military - first. On one hand, it's carefully built colossus, with alerts, different squad types, etc. carefully balanced. On the other, the best part of all four squads is comprised of DEAD MEN. So, I deleted and recreated all squads. Tomorrow I'll begin the construction of an awesome monument commemorating my awesome exploits, and also download the awesome 31.19 and begin awesome.
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on March 03, 2011, 05:55:58 pm
Post by: Scaraban on March 03, 2011, 06:11:16 pm
What do you mean, comprised of dead men? If anything, they ought to be comprised of dead dwarves.EGADS HE'S RIGHT!!!
Journal of Rovod Bermesir, Early Winter of 526.quote preserved to guard against retroactive editing
On the other, the best part of all four squads is comprised of DEAD MEN.
Post by: Darvi on March 03, 2011, 06:12:59 pm
Post by: DorvenEngineering on March 03, 2011, 09:50:55 pm
I would like to get dorfed - preferably as a mechanic/bookkeeper/mechanic+bookkeeper, male-dom not necessary, but favored, name "Koshmot" - and express interest in taking a turn as soon as possible. 8)
Edit: What about versions? This has been 31.18 so far, right?
Other edit: This would be my first succession game ever. If I do get a turn before it all goes down in a glorious inferno (Other other edit: again), how do I handle the save (and saves in general, for that matter)? Can I just put it into (DF)/data/save and start playing or is there anything else I should know?
Post by: Groveller on March 03, 2011, 11:58:37 pm
Can I just put it into (DF)/data/save and start playing or is there anything else I should know?
That should do it, I think.
There's also a thread (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=76193.0) where some crazy person managed to reclaim the original Battlefailed. I recommend it, too.
Post by: Takuanuva on March 04, 2011, 07:29:09 am
Tomorrow I'll begin the construction of an awesome monument commemorating my awesome exploits, and also download the awesome 31.19 and begin awesome.Awesome.
Post by: Dariush on March 04, 2011, 08:54:51 am
BTW, why is there a fortification looking out of the map and ballista facing a wall deep underground?...
Post by: Dariush on March 04, 2011, 09:26:41 am
Journal of Dariush The Third, Early Winter of 526.
Today, on third day of my awesome reign I'll being the first two projects of awesome - first, a shaft of totally awesome size that leads straight into magma sea from our fort, and second, a DOOR MONUMENT. Yep.
But for the first project, I need to dig some earth and being the only miner in the fortress and thus not being able to be bothered, I started expanding our mining squadron by careful process of cross-examination, reviewing of resumes and test runs.
"Hey! You there! What are you doing?"
"I'm just a simple potash maker, m'lord."
"Fuck that. You'll be a miner."
See? Totally awesome.
***
Today among the ordinary useless news I received a note about some dissector's death. Apparently, skeletal horses are running rampant right on our roof. I guess they'll need to be put down... And it's as good time as any to learn to use the military.
***
Holy shit. I repeat, holy shit. I claim this and I will stand by those words even if I'm set on fire. The accessway to the barracks has stairs leading down to earth... but not quite reaching it. However, that's not a cause for concern. The fact that there are patches of floor fucking levitating near is.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/386926-W41IY41.png)
Directly underneath:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/386928-GG1SYM8.png)
See any way for those patches to be supported? I don't.
***
Today I went to oversee the construction of the Door Monument. Apparently, this place has seen so much bloodshed that the air itself is covered in blood.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/386923-5IDVNR2.png)
***
This place is so awesome. Today I got news that some poor recruit died under our forges. When I went there to investigate, I saw a giant forgotten beast wrestling with another recruit who in a fit of awesomeness neglected even to wear any armor. *sigh*
***
Holy shit, I've just seen an ocean wave rolling through a wall.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/386935-PE0PPNX.png)
This place becomes more awesome with every passing awesome moment of awesomeness!
***
Holy shit, the horses kicked three recruits to death while I've been waiting for someone to come down there to the beast and wall it off. Apparently our workers have more pressing concerns than terrifying ageless beasts one corridor away from rampaging through the fortress, vanquishing all that breathes. Like moving that sock. Ah.
*sound of trumpets*
Thus ends the
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 04, 2011, 10:41:14 am
I just finished reading through Battlefailed and this one and feel the need to be part of this madness. Verily, 'tis awesome. :o
I would like to get dorfed - preferably as a mechanic/bookkeeper/mechanic+bookkeeper, male-dom not necessary, but favored, name "Koshmot" - and express interest in taking a turn as soon as possible. 8)
I'll update the OP when my home internet connection comes back on Sunday.
Quote
Edit: What about versions? This has been 31.18 so far, right?
Dariush just moved it to .19.
Quote
Other edit: This would be my first succession game ever. If I do get a turn before it all goes down in a glorious inferno (Other other edit: again), how do I handle the save (and saves in general, for that matter)? Can I just put it into (DF)/data/save and start playing or is there anything else I should know?
Downloading saves: Uncompress them into /data/save, make sure the region folder isn't hiding inside an identical folder (ie /data/save/region1/region1 = bad, move the inner region1 into /data/save)
Uploading saves: Make a zip file of the region folder, upload to http://dffd.wimbli.com/.
Post by: Dariush on March 04, 2011, 12:35:38 pm
The insanity continues!
Today our hunter who for some reason lives near forges along with his/her spouse went to bed. Or tried to. He went down the corridor that contains the shortest path to his bedroom, bumped into forgotten beast, turned his back and took the other way. Seriously.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/386974-4FIBNZG.png)
***
More and more people fall prey to the hooved reapers. Out of 20 people in our military, only
***
Holy shit.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/386985-5ONMUNR.png)
There are two beasts crammed into this tile and one more in mirrored tile to the left. They seem unable to move. Holy shit.
***
Okay, since the outside world is off-limits now, I'm going to move the barracks inside. Prepare for awesomeness.
***
Holy shit, all three beasts got out. I ordered the wall built to contain them, but the idiot builder tried to wall himself in. When I canceled the construction, he ran away and beasts got out into the fortress. This is awesome.
***
Everything is going to hell. The combined forces of all our soldiers are unable to contain the onslaught of Espir the Skink, Edir the Shrew, Zolak the Slug and Edu the Stegosaurid. (wait... there are four of them now?...) Our forge level is one large spot of miasma, blood and corpses. I need to do something and I don't know what I can...
Post by: Scaraban on March 04, 2011, 01:19:09 pm
All right, 31.19 downloaded and haven't crashed in last two minutes. I've decided on a monument - it will be a 9x9x9 cube made out of doors, with the outer 'layer' being made out of something shitty like schist, with material becoming more valuable moving inward.map border fortifications are useful for drainage
BTW, why is there a fortification looking out of the map and ballista facing a wall deep underground?...
ballista? couldn't tell ya!
Post by: Magentawolf on March 04, 2011, 02:11:17 pm
Requesting a dwarfing, and sign me up for a turn. :)
Post by: Deviled on March 04, 2011, 02:24:58 pm
This place becomes more awesome with every passing awesome moment of awesomeness!Sigginig this.
Post by: Dariush on March 04, 2011, 02:41:17 pm
Alright... after reading all of that, I'm feeling vaguely inspired.Are you sure? The current life expectancy of any given dwarf is about... uh... well, just think: there are thirty insane midgets stuck in a fucking tomb with skeletal horses above them and four forgotten beasts steadily carving their way up to them from below. Now add the fact that they prefer dragging the socks off their friends' backs to stockpiles instead of building walls or taking up weapons. Fruitflies ain't got shit on our dorfs.
Requesting a dwarfing, and sign me up for a turn. :)
Post by: Oglokoog on March 04, 2011, 03:08:00 pm
Nice to see you're using the original tileset, too. One doesn't see a lot of that these days.
Post by: Magentawolf on March 04, 2011, 03:38:21 pm
Are you sure? The current life expectancy of any given dwarf is about... uh... well, just think: there are thirty insane midgets stuck in a fucking tomb with skeletal horses above them and four forgotten beasts steadily carving their way up to them from below. Now add the fact that they prefer dragging the socks off their friends' backs to stockpiles instead of building walls or taking up weapons. Fruitflies ain't got shit on our dorfs.
Pft, I'm allowed to be optimistic! .... So, I might be part of the reclaiming squad, so be it. :)
Post by: DorvenEngineering on March 04, 2011, 04:04:11 pm
And thanks for the advice, Urist. I'll keep that in mind. :)
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on March 04, 2011, 04:25:38 pm
BTW, why is there a fortification looking out of the map and ballista facing a wall deep underground?...
Well, I had intended to use it to shoot at forgotten beasts. I was going to carefully let them in and take them down in a controlled fashion...
Post by: Zeocin on March 04, 2011, 08:32:07 pm
Holy shit.
...
There are two beasts crammed into this tile and one more in mirrored tile to the left. They seem unable to move. Holy shit.
***
Everything is going to hell. The combined forces of all our soldiers are unable to contain the onslaught of Espir the Skink, Edir the Shrew, Zolak the Slug and Edu the Stegosaurid. (wait... there are four of them now?...)
Breeding forgotten beasts? BRILLIANT! This should totally give our lazy, sock obsessed denizens the exercise they obviously need.
Post by: Dariush on March 05, 2011, 06:32:50 am
Magentawolf, do you want any particular name, sex or profession?
Journal of Dariush The Third, Late Winter of 526.
There are only twenty-eight of us now.
I'm sitting in a corner in my rotting clothes, clutching my trusty pick in my hands.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/387803-CO0BJ80.png)
There are screams coming from above and from below. They are interspaced by clack-clacks and eerie neighing of monstrosities above, the ululating blood-curling cries of monstrosities below and joyful shouts of the sock-wielding monstrosities in corridors. I don't even know whom of them I fear more. Chanting the holy mantra of wee-pee-el, I resist the urge to join my fellows in their mindless orgy of sock delivery.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/387810-XM1Y6G3.png)
***
Using the third sight gained after the recent cave-in when I started writing this journal, I tracked the headmost beast just as it was nearing the drawbridge I ordered built a month ago. The bad part? Those plans remained just that - plans. I've personally seen countless dwarves sauntering over the mark on the floor without as much as noticing it. Now the mark is smudged by the trail of Zolak's horryfing body.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/387813-19H7FRJ.png)
***
I've consolidated the remains of our military into a single squad of whopping three ass-biters and went to dig out the new barracks - at least hidden by stone masses I will be invisible to passing beasts.
***
My guess was correct - Zolak went up the stairs without stopping to rip off my head. However, Andreux IX, who was battling it at the time wasn't nearly so lucky:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/387822-OYQSVW6.png)
***
All right, this is it. I'm taking my pick to the fucker's head.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/387832-KELJLQ4.png)
Something tells me this idea is already doomed.
***
(http://sadpanda.us/images/387833-RVIG9D9.png)
I can't believe I lost my pick on the way here. Hasty retreat is underway...
***
Oh god. While I was looking for my pick another forgotten beast ambushed me on the surface. The results weren't pretty.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/387834-AT8LW4C.png)
(http://sadpanda.us/images/387835-WBBB2QY.png)
Is that my body lying over there? Looks like it...
Post by: GreatWyrmGold on March 05, 2011, 07:25:49 am
FAILcannon seems to have been a good choice. Not to insult you personally, but...geez, that's a lot of problems.Alright... after reading all of that, I'm feeling vaguely inspired.Are you sure? The current life expectancy of any given dwarf is about... uh... well, just think: there are thirty insane midgets stuck in a fucking tomb with skeletal horses above them and four forgotten beasts steadily carving their way up to them from below. Now add the fact that they prefer dragging the socks off their friends' backs to stockpiles instead of building walls or taking up weapons. Fruitflies ain't got shit on our dorfs.
Requesting a dwarfing, and sign me up for a turn. :)
If you survive to the next migrant wave, I'd like a dwarf. Ideally a mechanic, but as long as he's OK and not previously claimed, I'm fine. Name: Urist McLost.
Post by: Dariush on March 05, 2011, 08:48:43 am
Journal of Rovod Bermesir, Early Winter of 526.
Cough.
Cough.
I'm still alive.
I stared at the ceiling of the low chamber, funny circles swimming before my eyes, dust from the most recent cave-in still settling around.
The horrible image of stegosaur standing over my headless body still lingered before my eyes.
I tried wiggling my fingers and succeeded. I guess this wouldn't have happened if my head was lying several feet from my body. So, I'm alive.
I picked my sorry shape up, dusted myself off and went off to govern this hellhole. I've got a long day ahead.
***
Still vividly remembering my previous life, the first thing I did was assigning training duties to squads and ordering four forges to produce bronze axes non-stop.
(OOC: how do you guys get squads to consist of two different types?...)
Post by: Glacial on March 05, 2011, 10:21:40 am
(OOC: how do you guys get squads to consist of two different types?...)
Create one uniform with the armor and socks you want. Create the squad with that uniform. Assign a specific weapon to each position in the squad. Prosper.
Post by: Dariush on March 06, 2011, 05:02:37 am
Migrants arrived, but no mechanics. Sorry.
Journal of Dariush The Third, Early
I should drink less. However incredibly awesome dwarven booze is, it is nothing compared to awesomeness of three-month consiousness. According to my assistants, nothing of note happened except a pink rhino forgotten beast rampaging through fortress, ripping off toes and fingers, so I think I didn't miss much.
The first order of the new year would be construction of new bedrooms for everyone. Fractal bedrooms.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/388890-BF9F1ID.png)
Plagiarism is awesome.
Next, I'm making a huge 'WELCOME' sign at our gates, made out of pure gold:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/388901-RK7HDAM.png)
***
Our mayor doesn't have any bedroom, never mind office, tomb, etc.? Seriously?
***
Everyone who praises the magnificense of ancient monuments omits one important thing - how boring it is to oversee their construction. Especially if your builders are insane midgets who are more interested in dragging thaaat sock over theeeere rather than building...
***
By the way, did I mention that I'm constructing a pumpstack to pour magma over all those fuckers who killed me in my previous incarnation? Yeah, I totally am.
***
Also, my Door Monument is progressing nicely. Here's it's first level:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/388953-T9U69B0.png)
Glory to me, Dariush the Builder!
***
Damn, I only now noticed that I'm building those pumps out of bronze, and bronze isn't kosher for Armok. *sigh* At least I didn't get far into construction so it isn't too late to start over...
***
The treehuggers have arrived. At last some real training for our military...
(http://sadpanda.us/images/388969-76NOOAR.png)
Mwahahaha!
(http://sadpanda.us/images/388973-3R8HRQM.png)
MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
***
One of our metalcrafters decided to make some artifact and he needs yarn cloth for it. Not silk cloth or plant, of which we have hunderds of tons, but yarn! This is so unfair... Oh, and we have no way to get it. Good bye, poor Muthkat Plainspaints!
***
Today my daily report contained something... strange.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/389021-XKG04FY.png)
I reread the message several times, but it's contains didn't change. I guess this place is even more screwed up than I imagined.
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on March 06, 2011, 10:52:15 am
On an unrelated note, have you managed to put down Glacial's ghost?
Post by: Dariush on March 06, 2011, 11:08:14 am
By the way, can flying FBs destroy bridges/hatches/grates/bars from below?
Also, how can I see where a particular dwarf's corpse is located?
Post by: Dariush on March 06, 2011, 11:33:20 am
Holy shit.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/389043-S506W47.png)
After almost half a year those fuckers finally got around to making the pumps. In honor of this, the yarn-demanding mooder went insane. Berserk, specifically. Legionairre of Terror, specifically. I would have posted an awesome screenshot, but other than two bolt strikes there's nothing interesting happening because of it... ::)
***
Great. An ambush was all we ever lacked.
I'm recalling all civilians and let the cage traps handle it.
***
Second ambush showed up almost immediatly. They took some mook's life and brutally beat Xenos:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/389056-2J3MH84.png)
Xenos withstood an assault of an axegoblin and several bowgoblins. However, then I saw Urist McArthur walk out of the gates against all orders, bash the axegoblin's head in and then chase away the archers. Holy shit.
***
Two more ambushes. This becomes more awesome with every... wait, I already said this... didn't I?... It's all blurred...
Also, why the hell don't alert levels override shedules?!
***
Hooray, the first level of my Door Monument is finished!
(http://sadpanda.us/images/389059-JSXVB4I.png)
A recent cave-in spoiled the look of the leftmost doors and the refuse laying around isn't pretty either, but this is 81 schist doors, and this is 1/9th of my future monument! Triple hooray for my awesomeness!
***
The sign at the gates is finished. It doesn't look like much in 2D, but once there are any visualisers working with 31.19, it'll look awesome. Also, I'm constructing a trade entrance. This is going to be indescribably awesome.
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on March 06, 2011, 11:34:04 am
The last time I've seen him was around the start of the spring, so I guess he put himself to rest :)
Perhaps he decided that burial at sea was acceptable.
By the way, can flying FBs destroy bridges/hatches/grates/bars from below?
I don't think so. But just in case, maybe it's best not to rely on a feeble hatch to stop the dread creatures...
Also, how can I see where a particular dwarf's corpse is located?
Go to the stockpiles screen, find the corpses entry (very close to the bottom), and find the corpse you want to locate. Use 'z' to zoom to its location.
Post by: Dariush on March 06, 2011, 11:39:34 am
Journal of Dariush The Third, Mid-Autumn of 527.
Second level finished - much cleaner than the first:
(http://sadpanda.us/images/389128-1OQL80N.png)
We've got another mooder, this time I don't even know what he lacks - he requests a whole bunch of things, so I abandoned him, since what we don't already have I probably won't be able to get in time.
***
(http://sadpanda.us/images/389142-SCV7BPR.png)
*sniff* The reaper takes his toll despite all heroic efforts of our warriors...
***
An ettin came, nearly killed a marksdwarf, but at last moment Urist McArthur arrived to save the day... Sounds familiar?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 06, 2011, 02:47:10 pm
And its horribleness is glorious.
Post by: Deviled on March 06, 2011, 08:34:22 pm
This fort is horrible.(http://culturemagazine.ca/joyentsite/images/Disguise/drhorrible_main.jpg)
And its horribleness is glorious.
It has a PhD in horribleness.
Post by: Dariush on March 07, 2011, 05:31:06 am
So, it was a year since I've picked up the overseer duties over here. Tradition says that every overseer must give up his position after twelve months. However, Queen's orders say that every overseer must give up his duties on 1st Hematite. Thus, fuck tradition.
***
The trade entrance construction is stalled. No cage traps were constructed because of lack of mechanisms. Simultaneously, almost 20 dwarves at any given moment were idle. Enraged, I gave them all orders to build mechanisms. That didn't do anything. (how did you guess?...) I stormed off to mechanic's workshops. Or rather tried to.
(http://sadpanda.us/images/389748-95H2IKF.png)
(http://sadpanda.us/images/389751-CD0CJ90.png)
Looking back over reports, it appears that some ghost toppled some door. What report didn't specify was that this was the door to the fucking aquifer.
This place is oh so fucked up.
Whoever built this, my plea to thou:
WHY?!
***
blablabla
***
I'm too lazy to write in-character (or at all), so here's a quick summary:
Entrance sign - finished;
Door Monument (above courtyard) - partly finished;
Pumpstack (Shift+F2) - pumps themself finished on 2/3 (though building the topmost one that faces the cavern would be difficult), space for future axles is being dug out;
Trade Entrance (to the east of courtyard) - supports and walls are finished, only cages and links remain. PLEASE read instructions on the water before doing anything with it!
Fractal bedroom (Shift+F3) - fully dug out, halfway smoothed, one-fourth of beds are finished;
Squad training must be reviewed and fixed (I tried to, but failed miserably :();
I produced lots of armor and bronze axes, so more squads are welcome;
The central stairway is flooded on five levels out of six. I forbade all doors and built other ways, but if someone could close the leak in topmost chamber, it would be awesome.
Have Fun! (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3917)
Post by: Andreus on March 07, 2011, 03:07:19 pm
A spot on the turn roster.
Post by: Mekboy on March 07, 2011, 04:22:13 pm
That door.
Yeah, I was digging and suddenly, damp rock.
So in an effort to find out what it was, I dug a ramp.
Water everywhere.
I did hook up a lever to those doors, but the lever seems to have been removed. Still, this makes it totally worth it.
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on March 07, 2011, 05:46:51 pm
Looking back over reports, it appears that some ghost toppled some door. What report didn't specify was that this was the door to the fucking aquifer.
That is the most amusing DF event I've seen a long time.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 07, 2011, 08:18:49 pm
Oh.
That door.
A succinct summation of the fort as a whole.
Post by: Glacial on March 07, 2011, 08:55:21 pm
Looking back over reports, it appears that some ghost toppled some door. What report didn't specify was that this was the door to the fucking aquifer.
That is the most amusing DF event I've seen a long time.
Priceless!
Post by: Megaman3321 on March 07, 2011, 09:04:32 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 07, 2011, 09:06:37 pm
Post by: Dariush on March 08, 2011, 07:35:01 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 08, 2011, 07:40:58 am
Post by: Dariush on March 08, 2011, 09:26:17 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Megaman3321 on March 08, 2011, 10:12:04 am
Post by: Mekboy on March 08, 2011, 11:38:30 am
Post by: Greader on March 08, 2011, 11:49:03 am
And to not have this post be too off-topic or something: how do you get trough Failcannon anyway? I was looking for the stairs, but pretty much at the top part of the fortress it gets hard to find the next stairway. Like it was said, navigating Failcannon would be fun.
Post by: Oglokoog on March 08, 2011, 03:08:27 pm
I, as well, have some RL stuff to do, but I'll be damned if that stops me. Expect an update sometime between now and friday.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 08, 2011, 09:38:30 pm
Post by: Takuanuva on March 10, 2011, 11:01:04 am
Was I dorfed? I looked trough the list and couldn't find a dwarf called Greader. I searched trough the living dwarves and the (many) dead ones, but couldn't find that name. So, as a reminder: A mason, called Greader. I don't care about the gender.Go to the third post and look at the list of people waiting to be dorfed. It's pretty long, isn't it?
Post by: Greader on March 10, 2011, 11:15:32 am
Post by: Dariush on March 10, 2011, 11:57:30 am
Post by: Andreus on March 10, 2011, 02:59:58 pm
Post by: Takuanuva on March 10, 2011, 03:19:44 pm
Actually, all dwarves in third post were dorfed long ago.I think it's quite dificult to keep track of who was dorfed and who wasn't, because people don't include that information in their posts. Can someone who downloaded the save look for dorfs from the list?
Post by: Oglokoog on March 10, 2011, 03:26:11 pm
Post by: Darvi on March 10, 2011, 03:27:23 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 10, 2011, 03:43:04 pm
Post by: ElthMysterius on March 10, 2011, 07:33:35 pm
I'd also like to request a dwarf. You can name any old dwarf you please and that would be fine, but if you happen to have any male clothesmakers, I'd gladly have one named "Elth".
Post by: Megaman3321 on March 11, 2011, 05:33:59 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on March 12, 2011, 04:32:51 am
Post by: malkomk on March 13, 2011, 09:49:37 pm
I'll take the soonest available turn please!
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 14, 2011, 12:58:10 pm
I'm playing right now. Sorry for the delay.
?
Post by: Oglokoog on March 14, 2011, 01:42:20 pm
(a bit of advice: the flooded central staircase isn't perfectly sealed... which makes the situation a bit more urgent. Just a tip.)
Post by: Dariush on March 14, 2011, 01:54:11 pm
Post by: malkomk on March 14, 2011, 01:55:47 pm
Oh well... if it doesn't I'm sure that I will be able to hunt up a old save and revive the succession game from a earlier point in time, courtesy of Urist McWizard!
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 14, 2011, 02:51:37 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on March 14, 2011, 02:54:47 pm
Welp.I guess I'm just bad.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 14, 2011, 02:56:06 pm
EDIT: Started playing. Holy shit.
EDIT2: I think I'm going to wait a while (Wed.) before tackling this. First priority is aquifer plugging, and I have a plan, but we'll lose a well temporarily.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 14, 2011, 08:24:04 pm
Apparently I'm in charge of the fortress now. Must have been one hell of a party last night. Anyway, the first thing to catch my attention was the state of the central stairway, and I believe I have found the cause:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I found some notes left by an overseer early in the fort's life:
While digging the new dining room we encountered a slight problem.Spoiler (click to show/hide)Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Damnit, aquifer! Luckily no-one drowned, as I had the foresight to install doors.
Apparently the digging was interrupted by damp stone and the miners decided to see where all that water was coming from. A ghost seems to have destroyed the rightmost door, letting the water into the middle of the fortress. Obviously the water itself is a secondary problem and nothing can be done until the aquifer is sealed back up. The hole in the aquifer is currently feeding a well and a pump which is itself feeding another well, so I may have to be cautious in my solution. I decided to go up to the surface and see if anything could be done from there.
Spoiler: Welcome to Failcannon! Pardon the mess. (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What luck! A section of natural wall is sitting right above the breach point. I'll give the order to drop it into the depths immediately after I get rid of the stuff in its path.
Post by: malkomk on March 14, 2011, 11:09:14 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 15, 2011, 12:07:21 am
Post by: Scaraban on March 15, 2011, 03:33:34 am
The depths are fine. It's the shallows that are the problem.http://instantrimshot.com/ (http://instantrimshot.com/)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 15, 2011, 08:17:04 pm
EDIT: Apparently, when whoever installed graphics did so, they forgot to re-add the bone block reaction. I threw that back in, so we'll have more "diverse" building materials.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 16, 2011, 10:16:29 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Pictured is the new bone bridge that will be serving as a garbage disposal for the rest of my rule. But enough of that - the collapse went perfectly:
Spoiler: After the Collapse (click to show/hide)
Now we just have to drain the flooded area.
Diary of Urist Imiknorris, 3rd Shale
Rigoth the appropriately-named bone carver is now a mother. On a separate and unrelated note, Pyromaniac has mandated the creation of a trumpet. I don't think so, sir mayor. The craftsdwarves will make whatever they damn want.
I heard... sounds today, as I was climbing the stairway to the forges. It sounded like some horrifying creatures were in pain.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Given the type of horrifying creatures we normally see here, I can only assume it's good news, and that perhaps the beasts in the caverns aren't immune to each other's poisons.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Also, I found this guy in the ocean. Seriously, this is not a way to kill a goblin. It wastes a perfectly good cage.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
EDIT: Some more hastily-scribbled notes
Failcannon and the surrounding lands have been made a county.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spot the odd dwarf out.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Also, I have naught but faith in my drainage system.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The rest of the page is illegible due to water damage
Post by: Dariush on March 16, 2011, 10:51:40 am
HE CAME FROM ALTERNATE TIMELINE TO HAUNT THE FOTRESS
RUUUUUN
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 16, 2011, 10:56:12 am
EDIT: We may lose the four dwarves that were caught in the forging area when the water hit. They're all thirsty, and the flooding shows no sign of letting them out soon. I'm trying to dig another path down, but...
EDIT2: Goddamn magma teleportation means the drainage didn't work (I was draining it down the stairway to the forges, diverting it with floor hatches at a certain point after which it would pour into the magma sea, but the magma splashed back up and the obsidian got stuck)
Post by: Dariush on March 16, 2011, 11:42:07 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 16, 2011, 11:49:43 am
But that would be no Fun. Besides, the forge dwarves are safe, and I have another, less-mad idea for getting rid of the water that will actually have some use (massive ore stockpile) once the water evaporates.
Post by: malkomk on March 16, 2011, 05:03:41 pm
Post by: Deviled on March 16, 2011, 08:11:12 pm
I am beginning to have doubts that the fortress will survive till I get to rule it!Your starting to doubt. This is dwarf fortress expect every thing to fail immediately.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 16, 2011, 11:46:57 pm
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 17, 2011, 10:05:35 am
Post by: Oglokoog on March 17, 2011, 10:53:29 am
Only in Aluonra...In soviet Aluonra, Dwarf Fortress fails YOU!
Post by: SethCreiyd on March 17, 2011, 11:23:32 am
If the baby I dwarfed myself has died, I'd like to request a specific dwarfing: take a talentless migrant and assign him to a burrow around the well. Disable all his labors except for Cleaning and make his profession "Well Cleaner." This way, whatever muck and grime accumulates around the well will be mopped up without delay. Also, please provide him some leather boots and gloves so that the poison he eventually has to clean won't kill him.
Would you guys be okay with me running dfcleanmap? After the flooding is dealt with, I'm going to try and salvage some FPS.
Be a shame to lose the Ocean of Slime, but it'll grow back, I guess. If it's just blood you're after, you could lower the boiling point of blood in general, I don't think it'll hurt the dwarves if you change it right back.
Post by: Dariush on March 17, 2011, 11:33:58 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 17, 2011, 03:56:52 pm
If it's just blood you're after, you could lower the boiling point of blood in general, I don't think it'll hurt the dwarves if you change it right back.
Boiling off a bunch of blood.
Update will probably be Saturday.
Post by: nonobots on March 17, 2011, 08:47:59 pm
You impress me guys. This is all very epic. I read it all and it's amazing. I love the place cheese-making has taken in the story and the weird happenings with the gods, Lur the fallen god and Andreus. Favourite part is Seth's Forgotten Beast Alternate Timeline. The bottom of those caves sure feels like a VERY weird place.
The dworf I requested on page 2 or three has yet to arrive :P So dworf re-request: Mechanics named Nonobots. If Mechanics are unneeded I'll take masonry, mining or a mix of those.
Keep it up guys you can get this fortress back on its feet for the 22nd time.
Post by: Eric Blank on March 17, 2011, 09:32:36 pm
I want to be dorfed, considering I don't remember ever asking in a succession game (along with never playing one, but I'm working (http://www.mkv25.net/dfma/map-10185-rumor) right now so...)
I don't care about profession or gender, but name them Eric/Erica and I would like to become a 'dedicated structural engineer' or just 'structural engineer', and have all labors (including all hauling) turned off except architecture, masonry, and mechanics. That should help combat problems similar to what Dariush was experiencing with the Wall and the Beasts. Skill shouldn't be a major issue in most cases.
Post by: Zeocin on March 18, 2011, 06:13:44 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 18, 2011, 06:15:09 pm
(http://img.ie/488b8.png)
So we did have everything he needed. Too bad it's useless.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I have begun destroying miscellaneous objects that serve no purpose. The first things to go are large amounts of stone as well as everything on the surface. I only hope the goblins don't show up for a while yet.
(http://img.ie/90783.png)
Oh hey, another one. Come on in, the water's great.
While I was reading the memo about the beast, Dariush III tapped me on the shoulder and told me that he had been elected mayor, and his first order was to ban any and all trade in electrum items. Also, Gilgameshclone is being incredibly annoying, constantly looking for something of his and yelling loudly that he can't find it every ten seconds.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Something strange seems to be happening up on the surface. It's been raining constantly since the beginning of the year, but recently when rain hits a dwarf, the dwarf's blood shell boils away. It's been rather common since I ordered everyone to start cleaning up the surface.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The human
Today I was presented with a painting of the cause for the otherworldly screams I heard from the caverns.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This lake is filled with a strange substance secreted by one of the beasts down there, and it seems to be rotting the flesh off its companions. The ones that have flesh, at any rate. I think it would be best to avoid that place.
I'm halfway through the year, and will finish tomorrow.
Post by: Darvi on March 18, 2011, 06:31:34 pm
Post by: EmeraldWind on March 18, 2011, 07:24:01 pm
Failbelch?Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 18, 2011, 07:26:54 pm
As for the dwarfing, I'll post that with the next update.
Post by: ignatzami on March 18, 2011, 09:45:25 pm
Thanks!
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 19, 2011, 10:15:40 am
EDIT: Okay, I can't finish this. I'm two days away from the start of autumn, and now the dwarves are complaining about a lack of food, despite full and accessible stockpiles filled with such. I have a blacksmith starving to death hunting vermin in the small food stockpile I put in the forge area, standing on top of some prepared meals, and completely ignoring their existence. I have no idea what's causing it. Should I upload the save as it is or try to finish the year and probably have the fort starve to death?
Post by: Dariush on March 19, 2011, 10:42:30 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 19, 2011, 10:43:27 am
EDIT: Nope, it's not burrows either. The only burrow any dwarves are assigned to is the one I made that encompasses only the well and food stockpiles, and the only one assigned to that is Sethad the Well Cleaner. The current standing civilian orders aren't restricting them to a burrow either.
Post by: ignatzami on March 19, 2011, 11:08:30 am
Post by: Groveller on March 19, 2011, 11:31:46 am
I would too.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 19, 2011, 01:14:41 pm
Starved to death in the pantry, what a way to go :'(
It started when I started boiling off blood. Maybe that has something to do with it.
EDIT: Changed blood's boiling point back from 10001 U. Brewer has gone to eat.
EDIT2: Along with the rest of the fort.
Post by: Dariush on March 19, 2011, 01:32:07 pm
Post by: Scaraban on March 19, 2011, 01:32:17 pm
That's odd, that that mattersStarved to death in the pantry, what a way to go :'(
It started when I started boiling off blood. Maybe that has something to do with it.
EDIT: Changed blood's boiling point back from 10001 U. Brewer has gone to eat.
EDIT2: Along with the rest of the fort.
Post by: MagmaMcFry on March 19, 2011, 01:34:46 pm
That's odd, that that mattersStarved to death in the pantry, what a way to go :'(
It started when I started boiling off blood. Maybe that has something to do with it.
EDIT: Changed blood's boiling point back from 10001 U. Brewer has gone to eat.
EDIT2: Along with the rest of the fort.
They knew about the mod and were afraid of biting their tongues.
Post by: Scaraban on March 19, 2011, 01:48:13 pm
Post by: Zeocin on March 19, 2011, 02:31:46 pm
It frightens me immensely that the dwarves may be aware of us
What I want to know is which one of us is it they keep calling Armok.
Post by: Darvi on March 19, 2011, 02:32:23 pm
The entire collective.
It's us. We are the Blood God.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 19, 2011, 03:05:32 pm
Post by: Dariush on March 19, 2011, 03:08:35 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 19, 2011, 03:13:28 pm
Post by: ignatzami on March 19, 2011, 03:43:50 pm
Nope. Althouth I found the cause of your floating platforms - the supports under them were hidden. Also, I spoke too soon about the fps. It's really more like 5-10.
Anything is better then nothing, I assume cleanup is continuing?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 19, 2011, 03:46:03 pm
Post by: ignatzami on March 19, 2011, 04:03:43 pm
Yup. The dwarven caravan has been loaded up to the weight limit with junk (worth over 100,000☼) and the drainage room is being emptied of stone now.
Good deal! I was going to devote my turn, if the fort lives that long, to a clean up effort, but it seems like you may have beaten me to the punch.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 19, 2011, 04:04:40 pm
Post by: ignatzami on March 19, 2011, 04:12:43 pm
You'll still have plenty to clean - I only managed to get a small amount of stuff from the surface.
Good! I was hoping you weren't having ALL the fun!
Post by: Darvi on March 19, 2011, 04:13:44 pm
Post by: ignatzami on March 19, 2011, 04:20:35 pm
Don't worry, I'll probably make it all ten times as worse.
Thanks Darvi, I feel better now.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 19, 2011, 04:28:25 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
He's claimed a mason's workshop and is gathering materials.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
In other news, we dumped about twenty bins of stuff on the human traders in exchange for food, booze, animals, metal bars, and some other heavy things so they could carry away more junk. When they left, they apparently attracted the attention of some undead horses, and one of their guards stayed behind to deal with them. I've dispatched the Chambers of Luring to assist them. Also, there are two animals for every dwarf in this fortress, and they're getting hungry too, so they're all going. I just hope we can slaughter them all before they starve. Also, a caged wild horse has given birth, and two ghosts (a nameless suturer and an unperson) have been put to rest.
The dwarven caravan has arrived. Finally. Now we can get rid of more stuff. We really don't need all this junk lying oh hey there.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Just the one squad. They caught Mipe alone, but reinforcements arrived before they could do much to him. Dete showed up, killed the marksgoblin leader, then they ran. Siege broken.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Although apparently Mipe's luck started to run out on him.
Glacial is up to more mayhem, this time with a shale armor stand.
Nothing can stop him. Not a broken foot, nor a broken ankle, nor thirst. Nothing can stop the fey weaver. He's moving toward the clothier's shop.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Fishing seems good. I wonder why the fisherdwarf says there's no fish in the ocean? Also, Xenos' ghost has been put to rest. Time flies when you're managing a fortress.
Dariush met with the liaison today.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What the hell. Failcannon and the surrounding lands have been made a duchy. Anyway, Dariush ordered steel, gold, and booze. Also, it occurs to me that I was going about the drainage problem entirely wrong - there's nowhere near enough water to even fill the excavated space, so why bother linking all the doors to a lever?
Dariush ended his ban on the electrum trade today, and ordered the creation of two electrum items. I threw a job order to make some electrum goblets on the manager's desk, so that's all taken care of.
Spoiler: The Weaver begins his construction (click to show/hide)
Next update will be either tonight or tomorrow, and will finish up the year. It's currently 8th Opal.
Post by: Teneb on March 19, 2011, 04:56:47 pm
Also, dorf me if you can
Name: Deathsword
Gender: don't care
Job: Swordsdwarf/Butcher
Title: Carnifex
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 19, 2011, 08:37:19 pm
We can make Failcannon utterly undefeatable (except by Tantrum Spiral) by moving it UNDERWATER/UNDERMAGMA! this fortress shall remain utterly indestructible at the bottom of the Blueness.
Also mind Dorfing me Ahrimahn preferably as a bookkeeper.
edit: dorfing request and forgot to type in submarine.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 19, 2011, 11:23:46 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Another one? Man, is there a party going on in the caverns, and if so, why wasn't I invited?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
These bastards started wreaking havoc and were promptly ground to dust.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
...That's nice. Now get back to bed and work on getting that foot back in working order.
-Elth spotted some kobold thieves, nothing too worrying there.
-WHY has this rain not stopped? (I had weather off this year, so once raining, always raining)
-Attention medical staff: If your patient isn't resting, just get a hammer and whack them on the head. Not too hard, though.
-AND FOR THE LOVE OF MAGMA, WOULD SOMEONE FIND OUT WHAT GILGAMESHCLONE IS LOOKING FOR?! He's been whining the whole damn year.
Save will be uploaded tomorrow.
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 19, 2011, 11:38:05 pm
Is that even in the default game files i know that some things where replaced with other things in order to make bone a buildable maybe someone replaced something usually useless with that? or something ive never actually seen the option to craft thongs.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
...That's nice. Now get back to bed and work on getting that foot back in working order.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 19, 2011, 11:39:53 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 20, 2011, 12:29:13 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 20, 2011, 12:32:01 am
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 20, 2011, 01:03:28 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 20, 2011, 01:37:38 am
Post by: Dariush on March 20, 2011, 03:34:02 am
Post by: Darvi on March 20, 2011, 09:20:28 am
Post by: ignatzami on March 20, 2011, 11:33:26 am
Tell me about them and I might do so if my turn comes up.
A giant cube of doors, and fractal bedrooms. He also built a giant "Welcome" sign out of gold.
Post by: ignatzami on March 20, 2011, 11:43:03 am
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 20, 2011, 12:55:03 pm
EDIT:
Spoiler: HELLO (click to show/hide)
Post by: Zeocin on March 20, 2011, 03:30:55 pm
Post by: EmeraldWind on March 20, 2011, 09:30:51 pm
Apparently, Lord Slowpoke, you are now a dwarven sex symbol.
With a name like that... it is no wonder... :P
Post by: ignatzami on March 21, 2011, 09:39:31 am
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 21, 2011, 12:03:20 pm
Edit: As a preword, most of my turn is going to be based on improving FPS and all that. Don't expect much.
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 21, 2011, 12:27:42 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 21, 2011, 12:46:17 pm
Post by: Dariush on March 21, 2011, 01:09:18 pm
Post by: Deviled on March 21, 2011, 01:13:57 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 21, 2011, 01:14:45 pm
Post by: Deviled on March 21, 2011, 01:17:47 pm
I say we do that after the organic FBs rot in the lake of slime.Good idea.I also say we have someone drink directly from the ocean to see what happens.
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 21, 2011, 05:58:14 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 21, 2011, 07:01:06 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 21, 2011, 09:18:50 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 21, 2011, 10:20:59 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 22, 2011, 12:02:26 am
Post by: Deviled on March 22, 2011, 02:25:52 pm
Post by: Darvi on March 22, 2011, 02:29:52 pm
Post by: ignatzami on March 22, 2011, 02:32:25 pm
That is unfortunate. Toady really should program in germ warfare.
Right after the pile of bug fixes, and some path finding optimization.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 22, 2011, 02:37:35 pm
THIS JUST IN: EXPERIMENTAL DESIGN OF A FULLY SELF-POWERED PUMP TO CLEANSE THE OCEAN OF SLIME AND DELIVER IT TO WELLS AND AS WATER TO MUDDY FARMS FAILS SPECTACULARILY, 11 DEAD
LOWER LEVELS CURRENTLY BEING FLOODED WITH GODAWFULLY POISONOUS WATER, STATUS OF FBS UNKNOWN
OVERSEER REPORTED TO BE LAUGHING MANIACALLY
Post by: Deviled on March 22, 2011, 02:45:19 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 22, 2011, 03:48:52 pm
OVERSEER REPORTED TO BE LAUGHING MANIACALLY
Oh hey.
Post by: DorvenEngineering on March 22, 2011, 04:45:16 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 22, 2011, 05:19:38 pm
It lived up to its name.
Post by: DorvenEngineering on March 22, 2011, 05:26:42 pm
I'm not talking about a cannon. I'm talking about a freestanding pump-stack that brings the stuff up to the z-level it ends on, putting the whole world except maybe some of the mountain ranges under water and raising the Blueness by a few (dozen) z-levels. I had gotten the impression that the original FAILCANNON had been designed to shoot comparably small loads onto specific spots, not to create a world-ending deluge.
But that may just be me not having gotten the point. In that case, I'm sorry. :-[
Post by: Scaraban on March 22, 2011, 05:36:49 pm
I know that there are similarities. And I also know that it did so by flooding the fortress, if I recall correctly, rather than everything but the fortress.ROFL
I'm not talking about a cannon. I'm talking about a freestanding pump-stack that brings the stuff up to the z-level it ends on, putting the whole world except maybe some of the mountain ranges under water and raising the Blueness by a few (dozen) z-levels. I had gotten the impression that the original FAILCANNON had been designed to shoot comparably small loads onto specific spots, not to create a world-ending deluge.
But that may just be me not having gotten the point. In that case, I'm sorry. :-[
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 22, 2011, 06:41:26 pm
Post by: Darvi on March 22, 2011, 06:48:40 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on March 22, 2011, 06:49:58 pm
I know that there are similarities. And I also know that it did so by flooding the fortress, if I recall correctly, rather than everything but the fortress.
The pumps were originally there just to drain out the entrance so we could seal off the flood. I think Robocorn built the nozzle during his second turn and I just hooked them up. Didn't have time to finish or test it, but it did manage to make a couple of elk wet.
Better idea lets flood the entire world with whatever the hell is in the slime pit!
I agree. Let's make the Plain of Ooze live up to the name.
Post by: Zeocin on March 22, 2011, 06:51:12 pm
Better idea lets flood the entire world with whatever the hell is in the slime pit!
Only after we're done flooding the fort with it, apparently.
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 22, 2011, 06:56:49 pm
Whose idea was it to check if it could muddy the fields with the shit that rots things alive. also if this kills the fort we should savescum it just doesnt feel right for this to kill the fortBetter idea lets flood the entire world with whatever the hell is in the slime pit!
Only after we're done flooding the fort with it, apparently.
Post by: Dariush on March 23, 2011, 06:34:57 am
Post by: ElthMysterius on March 23, 2011, 08:12:16 am
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 23, 2011, 09:52:18 am
Whose idea was it to check if it could muddy the fields with the shit that rots things alive. also if this kills the fort we should savescum it just doesnt feel right for this to kill the fortBetter idea lets flood the entire world with whatever the hell is in the slime pit!
Only after we're done flooding the fort with it, apparently.
Pretty damn well, apparently. It also cleans the soil of all organic vermin for a while and helps dwarves who are too dumb to have socks on be turned into insta-fertilizer. All's fine with me here.
I stopped the flood with a few hatches so the forges are quite safe, commencing drainage.
Edit: I decided to fuck the world and dry the ocean of slime permamently, kill the FBs, and make the area recovered into my personal goddamn bedroom. Currently two FBs are dead, so are some people from the military, but most importantly, the fucker that's been spewing rotdust's down. Entire military currently fighting down at z -88.
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 23, 2011, 10:03:10 am
Yeah but i wouldnt put it past the game that any food grown on that soil will cause the same problems as the stuff itselfWhose idea was it to check if it could muddy the fields with the shit that rots things alive. also if this kills the fort we should savescum it just doesnt feel right for this to kill the fortBetter idea lets flood the entire world with whatever the hell is in the slime pit!
Only after we're done flooding the fort with it, apparently.
Pretty damn well, apparently. It also cleans the soil of all organic vermin for a while and helps dwarves who are too dumb to have socks on be turned into insta-fertilizer. All's fine with me here.
I stopped the flood with a few hatches so the forges are quite safe, commencing drainage.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 23, 2011, 01:17:06 pm
Do you guys mind if I download the save and post the fortress layout on the DFMA? It'd be fun to see the glorious acidic lake in all of it's glorious glory.
Go for it. I was going to do that but I forgot.
EDIT: Didn't Battlefailed also have an ocean of slime?
Post by: NightmareBros on March 23, 2011, 01:27:46 pm
Quote
Didn't Battlefailed also have an ocean of slime?
I hink by this point the two have probably merged into a lake so deadly that only failcannon stands between it and the outside world.
clearly the outside world is doomed when we start using the increadibly deadly neurotoxinated water in an attempt to kill sieging gobbos, with the unintended effect that it also floods half the fort doing so.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 23, 2011, 01:37:30 pm
Second: If not, how do we get the necrosis slime to the surface?
EDIT:
I just had Ledi magically teleport in and start getting painfully mauled by dogs while secreting frozen extract that looks suspiciously like the coating of the Ocean of Slime. I don't even know what to think of that.Rereading this, I want to put it in the out-of-context thread.
Quote
Edit: As a preword, most of my turn is going to be based on improving FPS and all that. Don't expect much.LIES
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 23, 2011, 01:40:26 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 23, 2011, 01:41:17 pm
Post by: Darvi on March 23, 2011, 02:06:32 pm
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 23, 2011, 02:20:08 pm
Honestly I don't know if I should bother with updates or not. I'm at half year by now and the sheer awesomeness is tearing me apart.
For the record, the total FB count is 8. From 15 at the beginning. But then, our military's dead or dying in horrible pains, I don't even have the dwarfpower to flood the z-level the battle took place in with magma because everyone's focused on dumping clothes in a desperate attempt to rise FPS, and whatever high-skill and relevant dwarves died in the flood, via FBs, or were generally fucked up somewhere in between. Population's down to 56.
Let's roll.
edit: stratch that, 55, some guy died in magma again
Post by: Dariush on March 23, 2011, 02:42:09 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 23, 2011, 02:49:04 pm
EDIT: best typo ever.
Post by: ignatzami on March 23, 2011, 03:36:02 pm
I want to hear about the disaster in all its gory.
I second this!
Post by: davros on March 23, 2011, 03:50:32 pm
I pyramid this!!I want to hear about the disaster in all its gory.
I second this!
Post by: Darvi on March 23, 2011, 03:51:54 pm
I'm stacking this!I pyramid this!!I want to hear about the disaster in all its gory.
I second this!
Post by: ignatzami on March 23, 2011, 03:58:08 pm
I'm stacking this!I pyramid this!!I want to hear about the disaster in all its gory.
I second this!
I'm deconstructing myself, your pyramid, and stack crumble into their base components.
Post by: Darvi on March 23, 2011, 03:59:12 pm
I'm deconstructing myself, your pyramid, and stack crumble into their base components.
I'm stacking this!
I pyramid this!!
I second this!
I want to hear about the disaster in all its gory.That's how it's done.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 23, 2011, 07:22:57 pm
Post by: SirAaronIII on March 23, 2011, 07:56:21 pm
What? You asked...
Post by: EmeraldWind on March 23, 2011, 08:37:16 pm
And more the fact they probably thought that was what you intended.
This is DF. This forum is where someone types "FTW". One guy sees "For The Win" and another sees "F_ The World", but they are both thinking the same thing. So what if you type gory and meant glory, here in this forum that single 'L' makes no difference... they ARE different words, but HERE, they mean same thing. It's not a typo. A typo is a mistake. You, my friend, said exactly what you meant and everyone understood. So there was no mistake. </charismatic speech>
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 23, 2011, 09:36:52 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 23, 2011, 11:03:33 pm
Post by: SirAaronIII on March 23, 2011, 11:25:31 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 23, 2011, 11:28:18 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 23, 2011, 11:29:26 pm
Also, the targets' stuff staying there is anti-thief weaponry.
Post by: malkomk on March 23, 2011, 11:46:16 pm
Ahem.
THIS JUST IN: EXPERIMENTAL DESIGN OF A FULLY SELF-POWERED PUMP TO CLEANSE THE OCEAN OF SLIME AND DELIVER IT TO WELLS AND AS WATER TO MUDDY FARMS FAILS SPECTACULARILY, 11 DEAD
LOWER LEVELS CURRENTLY BEING FLOODED WITH GODAWFULLY POISONOUS WATER, STATUS OF FBS UNKNOWN
OVERSEER REPORTED TO BE LAUGHING MANIACALLY
Don't you dare destroy the fortress before my turn comes. Don't you DARE!!
Edit: I decided to fuck the world and dry the ocean of slime permamently, kill the FBs, and make the area recovered into my personal goddamn bedroom.Cool! I'll be inheriting it when my turn comes! :D
Post by: Ledi on March 24, 2011, 02:48:13 am
No, I don't know how I managed that either. I take it I'm dead?
If so, requesting Ledi-iii, any profession but with 'likes cats' again.
I MUST SAVE THE KITTENS.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 24, 2011, 06:43:34 am
I just had Ledi magically teleport in and start getting painfully mauled by dogs while secreting frozen extract that looks suspiciously like the coating of the Ocean of Slime. I don't even know what to think of that.
Post by: Ledi on March 24, 2011, 07:37:43 am
According to this, you were transformed into a hideous mutant abomination.I just had Ledi magically teleport in and start getting painfully mauled by dogs while secreting frozen extract that looks suspiciously like the coating of the Ocean of Slime. I don't even know what to think of that.
I saw, and...er... can't really explain. Maybe I became a Forgotten Beast? That would have been awesome.
A wild Ledi has appeared! Beware her Crazy Cat Lady ways! She attacks with waves of kittens!
Post by: ElthMysterius on March 24, 2011, 08:28:56 am
http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-10200-failcannon-failcannon (http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-10200-failcannon-failcannon)
Add some Points of Interest! I seriously can't make heads or tails of this giant clusterfuck.
Also, here's the captcha code the site gave me when I uploaded it.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/fzbyvn.png)
::::)
Post by: ignatzami on March 24, 2011, 08:59:33 am
It MIGHT be because I'm loading the map in version .22, but a lot of the tiles are messed up, especially rock and plants. Nevertheless, I'm currently uploading the map.
http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-10200-failcannon-failcannon (http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-10200-failcannon-failcannon)
Add some Points of Interest! I seriously can't make heads or tails of this giant clusterfuck.
Also, here's the captcha code the site gave me when I uploaded it.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/fzbyvn.png)
::::)
It's... it's.... beautiful!
Post by: Dariush on March 24, 2011, 09:09:35 am
Edit: And seriously, Urist, why did you open up those murky pools on surface? You flooded the space I dug out for axles for pumps :(
Post by: Tale on March 24, 2011, 10:06:53 am
I'd prefer someone useless or absurd. But I'm not picky.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 24, 2011, 11:04:26 am
Still taking Dwarf requests?
I'd prefer someone useless or absurd. But I'm not picky.
Done. You get Urdim Rithsazir, one of the last survivors of the raid on forgotten beasts in z -88, a swordmaster with one FB killed. Did I mention he's rotting away or something? No idea what the syndrome is but all body parts are yellow and he's numb, has a fever, and kicks skelasses quite quickly compared to the rest of the militia.
In other news! The works on my bedroom are proceeding well, the cavern sea is recovering from the drainage nicely, and I've filled z -88 with a nice magma/water mix with a bit of obsidian. But mostly magma. FB corpses rotting down there by now. My old quarters are being refitted to some kinda emergency bunker visage, and the fractal bedroom has a new name: "DEAD DWARF STORAGE". It has a nice ring to it. Plus, I've managed to raise the FPS to a 14 from the start point of 9, and I'm counting with all the dwarves running with jobs and massive amounts of flows going around, I expect it to be at ~20 when the ocean stops reflooding.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 24, 2011, 11:04:52 am
Edit: And seriously, Urist, why did you open up those murky pools on surface? You flooded the space I dug out for axles for pumps :(
There was a bunch of stuff in them, including one of the unburied dwarves who was haunting the fortress.
Post by: Dariush on March 24, 2011, 11:13:37 am
By the way, are you ever going to update the to-be-dorfed list?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 24, 2011, 11:33:47 am
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 24, 2011, 11:46:22 am
Post by: Weirdsound on March 24, 2011, 03:39:59 pm
Post by: ignatzami on March 24, 2011, 09:44:50 pm
Should be Iggy, or Iggy McNatz, a male peasant.
Post by: Ahrimahn on March 24, 2011, 10:35:04 pm
Hmm.Bother with the updates i want to read this damn story.
Honestly I don't know if I should bother with updates or not. I'm at half year by now and the sheer awesomeness is tearing me apart.
For the record, the total FB count is 8. From 15 at the beginning. But then, our military's dead or dying in horrible pains, I don't even have the dwarfpower to flood the z-level the battle took place in with magma because everyone's focused on dumping clothes in a desperate attempt to rise FPS, and whatever high-skill and relevant dwarves died in the flood, via FBs, or were generally fucked up somewhere in between. Population's down to 56.
Let's roll.
edit: stratch that, 55, some guy died in magma again
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 25, 2011, 05:35:05 pm
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 27, 2011, 10:15:20 am
Now, the health menu is being spectacularily buggy (remember the dwarves that are numb all over? They don't die. They freeze down the menu every single time anything related to them is mentioned there, crashing the game. Whee!) and I had to replay the same two months a few times, it's beginning to be annoying by now. So, I ask you, should I send the turn unfinished and let breadbocks have two months extra for his turn?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 27, 2011, 10:18:16 am
Also, that problem might have been fixed in .22/.23/.24 somewhere, so that's an option too.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 27, 2011, 11:00:03 am
Save is HERE. (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4051)
Spoiler: And about that accident... (click to show/hide)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 27, 2011, 11:04:53 am
Spoiler: And about that accident... (click to show/hide)
Can I put that in the OP?
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 27, 2011, 11:06:00 am
Spoiler: And about that accident... (click to show/hide)
Can I put that in the OP?
I'd be honored.
Post by: Oglokoog on March 27, 2011, 03:19:44 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 27, 2011, 03:21:09 pm
Post by: breadbocks on March 27, 2011, 05:18:38 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 27, 2011, 05:36:03 pm
FPS is at a nice range of 20-24.etc.
Post by: Darvi on March 27, 2011, 06:25:42 pm
Post by: breadbocks on March 27, 2011, 06:28:44 pm
EDIT: Also, is it OK if I wait for .25, since it's just around the corner with a few crashfixes?
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 28, 2011, 01:55:31 am
Slowpoke, how good is your machine?
EDIT: Also, is it OK if I wait for .25, since it's just around the corner with a few crashfixes?
2.6 Ghz on a dual core CPU w/ 2GB RAM. Nothing unusual.
You may also want to be informed that in a fit of retardation I've tossed in [SPEED:0] to the dwarf file just before uploading. How come nobody noticed it while I was asleep, I thought someone would download it for once.
Post by: Dariush on March 28, 2011, 06:41:30 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 28, 2011, 09:32:42 am
EDIT: Also, is it OK if I wait for .25, since it's just around the corner with a few crashfixes?Sure. EDIT: Not that it really matters now.
Post by: ignatzami on March 28, 2011, 10:02:34 am
Holy shit, I've got 9-10 FPS on 3.4 Ghz quad-core on my turn :o There's apparently been quite a lot of FPS-improving work...
Yeah, the atomsmasher earned it's keep.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 28, 2011, 10:03:01 am
Post by: breadbocks on March 28, 2011, 05:07:45 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 28, 2011, 07:18:08 pm
Post by: Strategia on March 29, 2011, 10:25:50 am
I'd also love to run a clusterfuck like this someday, but since my most complicated engineering project to date has been digging a farm cavern next to a murky pool, breaching it and then flooring over the pool, I don't think I have
As a side note, how are you with in-character posts from non-overseers?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 29, 2011, 10:45:27 am
Quote
As a side note, how are you with in-character posts from non-overseers?I'm fine with it.
Post by: tryrar on March 29, 2011, 02:39:32 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on March 29, 2011, 03:46:44 pm
Hi, LLLFTP here (long time lurker first time poster, FYI), and I've enjoyed reading both battlefailed and failcannon so much, I've decided to get in on the action with a dorf request. name Tryrar the Bloody, any military as profession(axedwarf preferred), and see if you can get one that's always picking fights.
That'd be LTLFTP.
Post by: ignatzami on March 29, 2011, 03:48:02 pm
Post by: tryrar on March 29, 2011, 03:49:55 pm
Hi, LLLFTP here (long time lurker first time poster, FYI), and I've enjoyed reading both battlefailed and failcannon so much, I've decided to get in on the action with a dorf request. name Tryrar the Bloody, any military as profession(axedwarf preferred), and see if you can get one that's always picking fights.
That'd be LTLFTP.
oops: :-[ that'll teach me to post while sugar deprived
Post by: ignatzami on March 29, 2011, 04:02:50 pm
Hi, LLLFTP here (long time lurker first time poster, FYI), and I've enjoyed reading both battlefailed and failcannon so much, I've decided to get in on the action with a dorf request. name Tryrar the Bloody, any military as profession(axedwarf preferred), and see if you can get one that's always picking fights.
That'd be LTLFTP.
oops: :-[ that'll teach me to post while sugar deprived
It's ok, we still love you. I'm sure we can find a suitably glorious spot for you to make your final stand.
Post by: ignatzami on March 29, 2011, 08:07:20 pm
I have a free afternoon, I'm going to grab the latest save and get myself acquainted with this fort.
Ok, so potentially dumb question. There's a graphics pack in the save, how do I remove it?
Post by: malkomk on March 29, 2011, 09:51:30 pm
I have a free afternoon, I'm going to grab the latest save and get myself acquainted with this fort.
Ok, so potentially dumb question. There's a graphics pack in the save, how do I remove it?
I'm not sure if this will work, 'cause I haven't tried it, but you could try getting the Lazy Newb Pack (I didn't make up the name), putting your downloaded save into the LNP save folder, switching to the graphics tab, selecting your chosen graphics pack or lack of the same, hitting Install, and selecting yes to the saves question. My apologies if this is too technical, but the folder should be easy enough to find if you've ever played LNPless DF and wanted to delete your saves or backup them by hand.
EDIT: If you're wondering why I thought you should get the LNP and use that, it's because manually replacing the raws can cause you a lot of grief. It has certainly done that for me in the past. If you like I could make a step by step tutorial with screenshots, but seriously, that shouldn't be needed.
Post by: Oglokoog on March 29, 2011, 11:48:02 pm
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 30, 2011, 07:53:41 am
Since when are graphics packs installed into a save? I always thought they were used globally as part of an installation, but didn't influence the saves (and their raws) in any way.Ever since save/raw/graphics happened. It's the same thing that's been screwing up graphics for us all - someone failed at removing a mayday install.
Post by: Oglokoog on March 30, 2011, 10:30:13 am
I admit I have little right to tell people not to use graphic sets when they're playing their own games, but ruining a succession game save like this is another matter entirely. Try to be a little more considerate next time, whoever you are.
edit: (it probably isn't "ruined" permanently, but fixing it will require either some time and effort or downloading the LNP, both of which are a pain)
Post by: ignatzami on March 30, 2011, 11:00:43 am
Since when are graphics packs installed into a save? I always thought they were used globally as part of an installation, but didn't influence the saves (and their raws) in any way.Ever since save/raw/graphics happened. It's the same thing that's been screwing up graphics for us all - someone failed at removing a mayday install.
Thanks, I'll try the Lazy Newb Pack.
I'm used to the default graphics set, but whatever's installed reads like greek to me.
Post by: SethCreiyd on March 30, 2011, 11:22:35 am
Post by: Oglokoog on March 30, 2011, 12:24:03 pm
Since when are graphics packs installed into a save? I always thought they were used globally as part of an installation, but didn't influence the saves (and their raws) in any way.Ever since save/raw/graphics happened. It's the same thing that's been screwing up graphics for us all - someone failed at removing a mayday install.
Thanks, I'll try the Lazy Newb Pack.
I'm used to the default graphics set, but whatever's installed reads like greek to me.
You might want to consider using this (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Tileset_repository#Hanuman). It's the default tileset, only changed so that the tiles are square. While I love the original look of the game, the non-square-ness of rooms that were, in fact, square confused me so much and getting used to it was so hard that I simply had no choice but to start using the square version.
I guess I'm not that much of a purist after all.
(can you spot the pun?)
Post by: malkomk on March 30, 2011, 01:05:20 pm
Since when are graphics packs installed into a save? I always thought they were used globally as part of an installation, but didn't influence the saves (and their raws) in any way.Well, I believe the saves contain copies of the raws that were used to create them. Note that the graphics are part of the raws. However when you have raws with graphics and a font not meant to go with the graphics I don't know what would happen to them. This does seem to be a mess. I suggest using the LNP to try and fix the raws. I know that graphics are related to savegames in some way because when you tell the LNP to install some graphics it asks you if you want the saves updated to use the new graphics and warns you that saying yes will delete your raws.
Post by: SethCreiyd on March 30, 2011, 01:51:21 pm
Also, watch out for moody engraver mrbobbyg screaming for body parts.
Edit: megaupload (http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6D28GBKD) may be a faster download.
Edit 2: Damn it. It's 'belch->cannon' isn't it.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 30, 2011, 03:48:34 pm
EDIT: Current overseer just got muted for 3 days. Suggestions?
Post by: Strategia on March 30, 2011, 08:46:46 pm
Post by: ignatzami on March 30, 2011, 09:28:56 pm
Given the tradition so far, I'd say go to the next overseer in the list. The current one could be bumped to the next available spot, after this interim overseer finishes, rather than bumping him to the end.
I second this, let's keep this party rolling!
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 30, 2011, 09:31:18 pm
Post by: ignatzami on March 30, 2011, 09:32:52 pm
Given the tradition so far, I'd say go to the next overseer in the list. The current one could be bumped to the next available spot, after this interim overseer finishes, rather than bumping him to the end.
I second this, let's keep this party rolling!
Of course I say this because I can't wait to get my hands on this mess!
Post by: malkomk on March 31, 2011, 04:56:21 pm
I third this!Given the tradition so far, I'd say go to the next overseer in the list. The current one could be bumped to the next available spot, after this interim overseer finishes, rather than bumping him to the end.
I second this, let's keep this party rolling!
Post by: Takuanuva on April 01, 2011, 08:30:55 am
Downloading the save.
EDIT: Holy sh*t, this place is such a mess, that my PC almost fried when I tried to unpause it. And my DF crashed every single time I did so. Any sugestions?
Post by: EmeraldWind on April 01, 2011, 02:21:48 pm
Its become hard to tell who upgraded the version and when...
Or is the save being stored with a full copy of the game?
Post by: Takuanuva on April 01, 2011, 02:23:56 pm
Post by: Andux on April 02, 2011, 01:13:32 am
I replaced the save's raw folder and copied over the raws from 31.03 (not sure when the cut-off is, but I tried 31.18 at first and it crashed after unpausing).
Just for fun, I tried updating further using DF World Tinker (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3184); raw changes:
- Materials/templates, items, and buildings are on par with 0.31.25.
- Pre-existing plant and creature entries now match their .25 counterparts (except for the strangler, which keeps 2EYES:1EYE instead of 3EYES--the game gets cranky if you fiddle with body defs), but no new creatures or plants (grasses) added.
- Reactions are on par with 0.31.25, with the exception of mead stuff (no bees); ceramics should work, if caravans bring clay (don't think there's any on-site). Bone blocks now have their own reaction rather than replacing nickel silver.
... DF as usual, in other words.
Procedure:
- Insert replacement failraws (http://meepo.dnsalias.org/files/FailRaws.zip)
- Decompress world.sav with undat2 (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3895)
- dfworldtinker Failcannon forcesync
Post by: Takuanuva on April 02, 2011, 04:15:18 am
Post by: Strategia on April 02, 2011, 06:06:25 am
Seems to work well enough so far. Which may just mean there's something non-obvious lurking in the background, waiting to unleash bizarre and unspeakable horrors.
That would be Stuzang.
Post by: Elderont on April 02, 2011, 08:48:22 am
And dorf me already!
Name: Elderont.
Gender: Whatever.
Profession: Brewer (many think it's magma that runs through god's veins, but it's actually booze)
Post by: malkomk on April 02, 2011, 08:35:01 pm
Another thing: I keep saying "... ? ... profit" everywhere, can somone explain this to me? (I know, I know, this is off topic...) Last, is it OK if I download the save and look around at the fort?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 02, 2011, 08:44:10 pm
b. http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/profit
c. Sure, go ahead.
Post by: Takuanuva on April 04, 2011, 07:53:11 am
(I have started at the begining of the Opal, so I'l finish this year (less than 2 months) and play for another one.)
Opal
...
I was chosen to oversee Failcannon during this year. Mayor himself told me that. It seems that it's my duty to keep us all alive, so I'l do my best.
...
I didn't noticed how chaotic Failcannon is until I became the Overseer. Stockpiles and graves are literaly everywhere. I need to fix it.
...
The ocean of ooze. I need to do something with it. It's way too dangerous, and it makes a huge area inhabitable. If I remember correctly, the ooze itself makes living things rot. Quickly.
...
I have designed some new bedrooms along with a dining hall and some stockpiles underneath.
...
Someone has left the front gate open. That's bad. We need to close It as soon as possible. Some guys went out...
...
Another forgoten beast was spoted in the caves. There are lots of them around these days.
...
Some dog, along with a cat, has died because of the infection today.
...
Soaplope Deletholin, The Woodcutter and Amost Nomalvumom were killed by the skeletal horses. The Creative Seals were ordered to kill those horses, but they didn't managed to save these guys. Some of the Seals got hurt quite bad.
There are 50 of us left now.
...
Iden Tenshedkel, our blacksmith, has organized a party. I think we need some rest, so he was allowed to continue.
...
I've designed a pump to elevate magma from the depths of the earth to the surface. Good news is, that we have a good spot to build it. Unfortunatelly, we need almost 90 magma-safe pumps...
...
This will be our pump's powersource. I'l hook it up to the lake in the cave above using some stairs I found that aren't connected to anything else.
...
End of Opal
I can add some photos if you need them.
I'm currently in the middle of Obsidian, next month as soon as I finish it (should take less than a week).
Post by: Mandemon on April 04, 2011, 09:35:58 am
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 04, 2011, 10:04:19 am
Post by: Strategia on April 04, 2011, 10:24:10 am
What if it didn't? What if the resulting obsidian was tainted by the extract? It could still be dangerous, but if properly handled, it could be crafted into weapons of war. Imagine having a military armed with oozesidian short swords, infecting goblins with The Great Rot with every swing that connects.
Of course, that would mean that the safest course of action would be to send one poor idiot with an oozesidian weapon out to get himself killed every time there's a siege, so long as he lands at least one hit. I don't know whether that would fall under Boring But Practical or Awesome Yet Practical, but it'd mean that every goblin siege would end as a bunch of rotting corpses after a while. Too bad it would do absolutely fuck all to skanimals, though zanimals might be susceptible, I don't know how that works.
And imagine offloading oozesidian baubles onto an unsuspecting elven caravan. Mwuahahahahahahahahah..... biological warfare ftw.
Post by: Oglokoog on April 04, 2011, 10:46:58 am
I just realised something that I doubt would actually happen. If you were to use magma to obsidianise the Sea of Ooze, that would destroy the forgotten beast extract, right?
What if it didn't? What if the resulting obsidian was tainted by the extract? It could still be dangerous, but if properly handled, it could be crafted into weapons of war. Imagine having a military armed with oozesidian short swords, infecting goblins with The Great Rot with every swing that connects.
Of course, that would mean that the safest course of action would be to send one poor idiot with an oozesidian weapon out to get himself killed every time there's a siege, so long as he lands at least one hit. I don't know whether that would fall under Boring But Practical or Awesome Yet Practical, but it'd mean that every goblin siege would end as a bunch of rotting corpses after a while. Too bad it would do absolutely fuck all to skanimals, though zanimals might be susceptible, I don't know how that works.
And imagine offloading oozesidian baubles onto an unsuspecting elven caravan. Mwuahahahahahahahahah..... biological warfare ftw.
This might actually be possible in a future version of DF, but it certainly isn't now.
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 04, 2011, 12:08:01 pm
Then we waitI just realised something that I doubt would actually happen. If you were to use magma to obsidianise the Sea of Ooze, that would destroy the forgotten beast extract, right?
What if it didn't? What if the resulting obsidian was tainted by the extract? It could still be dangerous, but if properly handled, it could be crafted into weapons of war. Imagine having a military armed with oozesidian short swords, infecting goblins with The Great Rot with every swing that connects.
Of course, that would mean that the safest course of action would be to send one poor idiot with an oozesidian weapon out to get himself killed every time there's a siege, so long as he lands at least one hit. I don't know whether that would fall under Boring But Practical or Awesome Yet Practical, but it'd mean that every goblin siege would end as a bunch of rotting corpses after a while. Too bad it would do absolutely fuck all to skanimals, though zanimals might be susceptible, I don't know how that works.
And imagine offloading oozesidian baubles onto an unsuspecting elven caravan. Mwuahahahahahahahahah..... biological warfare ftw.
This might actually be possible in a future version of DF, but it certainly isn't now.
Post by: SirAaronIII on April 04, 2011, 05:21:01 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 04, 2011, 05:54:39 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 04, 2011, 09:06:45 pm
Post by: Strategia on April 04, 2011, 09:34:19 pm
By the way have we hit adimantium yet because that could come in handy for when an inevitable acident happens and we let in 30 forgotten beasts.
Just be glad you only have 30 FBs to worry about, rather than whether or not the next adamantium tile you mine unleashes masterwork Fun.
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 04, 2011, 09:45:03 pm
Yes but it is still the most useful element in the entire game in terms of weapons and armor and we may be aby to get the FB's and hidden fun stuff fighting it out and thirty of them could probably survive the initial wave and it would be awesomeBy the way have we hit adimantium yet because that could come in handy for when an inevitable acident happens and we let in 30 forgotten beasts.
Just be glad you only have 30 FBs to worry about, rather than whether or not the next adamantium tile you mine unleashes masterwork Fun.
Post by: Strategia on April 05, 2011, 12:45:07 am
Yes but it is still the most useful element in the entire game in terms of weapons and armor and we may be aby to get the FB's and hidden fun stuff fighting it out and thirty of them could probably survive the initial wave and it would be awesomeBy the way have we hit adimantium yet because that could come in handy for when an inevitable acident happens and we let in 30 forgotten beasts.
Just be glad you only have 30 FBs to worry about, rather than whether or not the next adamantium tile you mine unleashes masterwork Fun.
True, but I'd still feel nervous as hell about every tile I'd be digging out. Although if one problem could be used to solve the other, that would be very good.
Who knows, the Great Rot might actually work wonders against the legions of evil. According to the wiki, they're immune to all poisons, but I don't know if beastie syndromes fall under that category. If they do, it might be..... interesting..... to change that. Yes, it could be considered cheating, of a sort, but clearing out HFS via biochemical warfare would be something very special. And it could fit in with the sadly apparently abortive backstory Seth was writing, way back when, with the demon-slaying FBs being the first harbinger of the evils encroaching on the world intent on its destruction.
Also, if its denizens are indeed brung low by syndromes, the edges of HFS could be walled off and the place could be used as the then-newest fortress expansion. Build living quarters and workshops suspended from the walls and ceiling, and use the floor as a giant garbage dump. Maybe there could even be magma channelled in from above, turning the floor into a massive incinerator - perhaps even the magma sea itself could be drained this way, through the adamantine vein and onto the floor of the HFS. Imagine the ambiance of having a small city suspended from the roof of HFS itself over a lake or river of magma, while the magma sea would provide plenty of room for storage when drained. Necropoli would naturally be built on the lowermost levels of HFS, and covered by magma when full.
Then again, I do have a tendency to daydream of impossible achievements, so this is just a mental image. For now.
Post by: Zathel on April 05, 2011, 04:49:09 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 05, 2011, 06:43:34 am
Post by: Oglokoog on April 05, 2011, 06:49:28 am
If I'm right, the cause of the great rot is not poison (because FBs are immune to poison) - it's frozen extract. It causes frostbite, and untreated frostbite causes outright rotting/wounds that when unhealed, rot like any other wound.No.
It is frozen because it has a high freezing point. It's not actually "freezing" as in under 0 degrees.
It's poison. FB's are immune to their own poison (and I'm actually not even sure about that), but not to the poison of others. The symptomes of FB dusts and such are randomly generated just as the beasts themselves are; when a lot of different FB poisons is applied to a living thing, it gets infected with a myriad of different diseases, rots and various other terrible things.
Post by: Strategia on April 05, 2011, 07:55:34 am
If I'm right, the cause of the great rot is not poison (because FBs are immune to poison) - it's frozen extract. It causes frostbite, and untreated frostbite causes outright rotting/wounds that when unhealed, rot like any other wound.No.
It is frozen because it has a high freezing point. It's not actually "freezing" as in under 0 degrees.
It's poison. FB's are immune to their own poison (and I'm actually not even sure about that), but not to the poison of others. The symptomes of FB dusts and such are randomly generated just as the beasts themselves are; when a lot of different FB poisons is applied to a living thing, it gets infected with a myriad of different diseases, rots and various other terrible things.
The Great Rot syndrome is, if I'm reading one of the bad futures right, transmissible, but it's still classified as a poison? That's too bad. So much for engaging in mass demoncide with biochemical weaponry. Oh well, at least it can still be weaponised against conventional enemies. Or more likely, given the history so far, against the fort itself.
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 05, 2011, 09:50:36 am
We dont know until we tryIf I'm right, the cause of the great rot is not poison (because FBs are immune to poison) - it's frozen extract. It causes frostbite, and untreated frostbite causes outright rotting/wounds that when unhealed, rot like any other wound.No.
It is frozen because it has a high freezing point. It's not actually "freezing" as in under 0 degrees.
It's poison. FB's are immune to their own poison (and I'm actually not even sure about that), but not to the poison of others. The symptomes of FB dusts and such are randomly generated just as the beasts themselves are; when a lot of different FB poisons is applied to a living thing, it gets infected with a myriad of different diseases, rots and various other terrible things.
The Great Rot syndrome is, if I'm reading one of the bad futures right, transmissible, but it's still classified as a poison? That's too bad. So much for engaging in mass demoncide with biochemical weaponry. Oh well, at least it can still be weaponised against conventional enemies. Or more likely, given the history so far, against the fort itself.
Post by: SethCreiyd on April 05, 2011, 08:46:00 pm
May I request another turn, please?
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 05, 2011, 11:44:14 pm
Post by: Joshua IX on April 06, 2011, 10:26:30 am
Post by: Takuanuva on April 06, 2011, 02:27:07 pm
Obsidian
...
Gilgameshclone seems to have lost something. Unfortunatelly, he doesn't want to tell us what it was or where could it be.
Annoying.
...
The Manager has finally started to manage our work. It has been a while.
...
I found some floors that could be smoother, and since I don't have anything else to do, I'l start working on them. Physical work should make me worry less about our certain death.
...
One of our main project, the great magma pump, isn't moving along as smoothly as planned. Miners say, that the best channel for the pump is blocked by the aquifer. We're still trying to get trough.
Meanwhile, some guy called Andreus said, that the magma pump should be called "Failpump".
I think it's... accurate.
...
Doren Medenkib crafts lots of exceptionally good... things. That's promising.
...
We kinda have a problem.
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1.png)(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/2.png)
Some goblins have arrived. It seems, that they want to siege us- three big squads of goblins, and a group of trolls. Fortunatelly, Failcannon is troll-proof and completelly self-sufficient, so we don't have to worry about them. Too much.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/3.png)
I have found Mrbobbyg Akrulnanir sitting in the craftdwarf's workshop. After I asked him what is he doing, he replied:
-Yarn.
-What?
-Yarn. Give me yarn. I need it.
-But... I think we never had any.
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I NEED YARN! DID YOU UNDERSTAND?! GIVE ME YARN!!!
IT turns out, that he was sitting there for a while. Long while. At least a month.
I know what happens to dwarfs who act like that. If they can't finish whathever they're doing... They end up insane.
I have ordered that room to be cut off immediatelly. We can't save him, but he can be dangerous. I won't take that risk.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/4.png)
Turns out I made the right choice.
...
It has started raining.
I hate when it rains so much.
...
We have finally managed to get the Failpump's channel around the aquifer. It should be easy now to dig the rest.
...
End of Obsidian.
Considering how much did those guys dug out to this point, it will take way more than a year to finish the Failpump. Requesting another year if possible.
I could also use some magma cannon ideas.
Post by: Oglokoog on April 06, 2011, 04:04:44 pm
Also, that's the first graphics pack I've ever seen that doesn't look like COMPLETE shit. Just... shit. I sort of wish Toady added a way to have backgrounds under tiles (so that, for example, in the first screenshot all the creatures and the broken arrows and such would be on the green background of the grass under them).
Post by: Mandemon on April 06, 2011, 04:23:29 pm
Also, Oglokoog, I know everyone is entitled opinino and I currently use tileset instead og graphics pack but... That's a hars thing to say.
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 06, 2011, 06:46:48 pm
Nice update.
Also, that's the first graphics pack I've ever seen that doesn't look like COMPLETE shit. Just... shit. I sort of wish Toady added a way to have backgrounds under tiles (so that, for example, in the first screenshot all the creatures and the broken arrows and such would be on the green background of the grass under them).
Yeah the Phoebus pack is the one i use most of the time
Post by: malkomk on April 06, 2011, 10:29:41 pm
(Did I make the wrong choice here? There is a small chance of flooding the fortress... Oh well.)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 06, 2011, 11:25:19 pm
EDIT: If breadbocks is okay with it.
Post by: Joshua IX on April 07, 2011, 05:37:54 am
(Did I make the wrong choice here? There is a small[/]b] chance of flooding the fortress... Oh well.)
Small chance!??
:p
Post by: kisame12794 on April 07, 2011, 07:51:51 am
Post by: Takuanuva on April 07, 2011, 01:57:14 pm
Takuanuva's Triple Update! Three months for the price of none!
Journal of Takua Bimzasit:
Granite:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-1.png)
A warthog managed to die because of the old age.
In Failcannon.
Quite an achievement.
...
It stopped raining. It will start agian preety soon.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/2-1.png)
My wife, Breadbocks, gave birth to a girl.
We named her Ustuth.
...
Almost everything Tupu creates is a true masterpiece. We have piles of them already...
...
It rains again. How unexpected.
...
Slate:
...
I have ordered some giant iron corkscrews and pipes made. We will need lots of iron for them, so I'm looking for some ores we can dig out...
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-2.png)
Another forgoten beast was spotted in the Ocean Of Ooze.
If they want to rot so much, then why should we interrupt them...
...
Mrbobbyg, the dwarf I ordered to wall of, has died from the thirst. There was no other way. I had to protect the fort.
I had to.
...
Someone told me, that a warthog starved to death.
I ignored him. It was propably outside, so we shouldn't bother.
...
That's strange... I was told that another warthog has starved.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/2-2.png)
Tupu has taken over one of our carpenter's workshops.
I expect him to make something even better than anything he made before.
...
Another warthog starved.
Why? Why no one feeds them?
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/4-1.png)
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/20.png)
As expected, Tupu created another great craft.
And it's relatively usefull.
...
Let me guess... another warthog starved?
This starts to be annoying...
...
Felsite:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-3.png)
Dariush III has ended his mandate.
I have honestly no idea what was it about.
...
Warthogs keep starving.
I don't care about them anymore.
...
Gilgameshclone keeps looking for the thing he lost months ago.
I hope he will find it soon, and get back to work.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/2-3.png)
Looks like some trolls got trapped in our cage traps.
Awesome.
Also, it lseems that goblins have left us. They won't be missed.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/3-2.png)
I decided, that we should get those gold bars that were left outside. Siege has just passed, goblins shouldn't return for a long time.
...
An Elven caravan has arrived. I have ordered to open the north gate for them.
...
Rakust Rodimaloth is dead.
Right after we lowered the bridge, some goblins were spoted.
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/4-2.png)
Quite a lot of them, actually.
They were trying to siege us once again. I would rise the bridge immediately, but some guys were outside. I have ordered them to return at once.
I was waiting as long as I could. Everyone made it safely inside.
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/6.png)
Except for Rakust.
She got scared by goblins and started to run away. Since goblins were already too close, we had to raise the bridge.
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/8.png)
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/7.png)
A group of goblins and trolls started to chase her. Then, for some reason, only one troll was chasing her.
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/9.png)
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/10.png)
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/11.png)
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/12.png)
She was caught by the troll pretty quickly. She got hurt a lot, and then...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/13.png)
The troll didn't killed her.
It just stoped attacking her and started to walk away.
Even though Rakust's ankle was clearly broken, she managed to stand up. We opened the east gate so she could return.
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/14.png)
And then, she got surrounded by trolls.
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/15.png)
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/16.png)
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/16.png)
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/17.jpg)
She was killed almost instantly.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/18.png)
Since we opened the east gate, goblins started to run towards our fortress.
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/19.png)
Right trough the cage traps.
Almost all of them got traped, rest of them ran away.
What should I do with all of these goblins?
...
Summer has come. It should stop raining now.
I hope.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 07, 2011, 02:03:13 pm
Post by: Mandemon on April 07, 2011, 02:10:28 pm
Also, for goblin problem: Magma. Do you really need to ask?
Post by: Oglokoog on April 07, 2011, 02:11:27 pm
And yeah, you will probably need to make a pasture in the caverns (is there any cavern level that DOESN'T have terrible FB's in it at this point?). Make sure to check there is any moss, because that's what the animals need to be eating (they eat grass on the surface, obviously).
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 07, 2011, 03:02:29 pm
Post by: Elderont on April 07, 2011, 03:43:16 pm
"Yes?" The other dwarf replied.
"You were asking what to do with the goblins right, sir?" The dwarf spoke with a smile in his face.
"That's correct, some of our people told me we should throw then in a pit filled with magma. Do you disagree with the magma method of execution our ancestors have used for so long?"
"Not exactaly, sir. The magma is pretty damn useful, for killing and curing illness as some of our own would say. But... Why not throw the goblins in a pit full of me, with a me full of steel armor and a pretty new shiny silver mace?"
"Huum... Do you claim yourself more effective than magma?"
"Not at all sir, but i'm sure as hell I'm going to be more slowly hurtfull!"
"Huum. I'll think about it... What's your name, dwarf?"
Unlike the rest of the conversation, as the dwarf answered the question he seemed rather pale, different from the cheerful red looks he possessed before. Yet, his answer was... "Elderont."
____________________
English is not my original language, so forgive me for any mistakes.
;)
Post by: Remalle on April 07, 2011, 03:52:30 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 07, 2011, 04:03:41 pm
Post by: tryrar on April 07, 2011, 04:38:54 pm
Dont you see we can do far worse to this vermin problem we could sic them on the forgotten beasts if they kill the beasts they will die from ooze if the beasts killed them so?
Not a bad idea. I second the motion! (will have to create a non-splatting means of introducing "visitors" to the caverns that doesn't allow any FBs access, though)
Post by: Remalle on April 07, 2011, 04:42:22 pm
Use my giant drop tower idea, but add retractable bridges all the way down.Dont you see we can do far worse to this vermin problem we could sic them on the forgotten beasts if they kill the beasts they will die from ooze if the beasts killed them so?
Not a bad idea. I second the motion! (will have to create a non-splatting means of introducing "visitors" to the caverns that doesn't allow any FBs access, though)
Post by: Mandemon on April 07, 2011, 04:47:09 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on April 07, 2011, 06:04:52 pm
Why don't you (or we, if I decide to request turn) just dig tunnel to surface to FB lair, add drawbridge and when next siege comes lower the bridge and let FB and siegers duke out while we laugh in safety of fortress?Because the FB's would inevitably win and then stay around and prevent anything from ever getting to our fort again? Possibly?
I second the motion!Notion.
Post by: Strategia on April 07, 2011, 06:46:29 pm
I second the motion!Notion.
No, motion. The motion to have the FBs and gobbos duke it out. I third that btw, with the multiple levels of retracting bridges Remalle proposed. If nothing else, it should provide for some amusement as the gobbos decide whether they prefer to die at the hands (or claws, or teeth) of some unimaginable monstrosity or slowly rot until their brain falls out.
Also, caged trolls. Don't suppose they're trainable?
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 07, 2011, 09:18:48 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on April 07, 2011, 11:25:14 pm
Yes, that's "notion".No, motion. The motion to have the FBs and gobbos duke it out.I second the motion!Notion.
Do we have a dungeon master?Unless Toady fixed it while I wasn't looking, DMs are bugged. They never arrive.
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 08, 2011, 12:21:36 am
EDIT: checked wiki they where fixed in 31.13 but no word on wether pre fix worlds will get them.
Post by: Chessrook44 on April 08, 2011, 07:57:00 am
No, he still means "Motion". Notion is an idea. Motion is a movement, or pushing forward an idea.Yes, that's "notion".No, motion. The motion to have the FBs and gobbos duke it out.I second the motion!Notion.
Post by: Takuanuva on April 08, 2011, 08:02:01 am
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 09, 2011, 02:46:00 pm
Motion, Notion who cares its all semantics you get the point we should kill forgotten beasts with goblinsNo, he still means "Motion". Notion is an idea. Motion is a movement, or pushing forward an idea.Yes, that's "notion".No, motion. The motion to have the FBs and gobbos duke it out.I second the motion!Notion.
Post by: malkomk on April 10, 2011, 06:22:08 pm
I third the Motion-Notion! Gobbos + FBS = Dwarven Fun!Motion, Notion who cares its all semantics you get the point we should kill forgotten beasts with goblinsNo, he still means "Motion". Notion is an idea. Motion is a movement, or pushing forward an idea.Yes, that's "notion".No, motion. The motion to have the FBs and gobbos duke it out.I second the motion!Notion.
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 10, 2011, 07:17:23 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 12, 2011, 02:56:31 pm
Also, how is the game going? I want progress!
Post by: Takuanuva on April 13, 2011, 09:00:14 am
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 13, 2011, 09:42:37 am
Post by: Mandemon on April 13, 2011, 09:59:50 am
Post by: Takuanuva on April 13, 2011, 10:40:30 am
Post by: malkomk on April 13, 2011, 08:54:13 pm
Please find some time for it!! Also, I hope the Failcannon works, if only because if it doesn't it will probably flood the fortress with molten magma...
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 13, 2011, 08:55:43 pm
Post by: Takuanuva on April 14, 2011, 12:13:00 am
BBBBhhhBBBB
BBBBhhhBBBB
BBBBhhhBBBB
B- bridge
h- empty space
Both bridges are raising towards the empty space. We put uncaged goblins on one of them, and then raise it. They should get thrown against a wall.
Then, we lower the first bridge back and raise the second one.
Repeat until goblins turn into puree.
Post by: Scaraban on April 14, 2011, 12:21:35 am
I thought about something like this:bridges fling in any direction except the side they form a wall on
BBBBhhhBBBB
BBBBhhhBBBB
BBBBhhhBBBB
B- bridge
h- empty space
Both bridges are raising towards the empty space. We put uncaged goblins on one of them, and then raise it. They should get thrown against a wall.
Then, we lower the first bridge back and raise the second one.
Repeat until goblins turn into puree.
Post by: Oglokoog on April 14, 2011, 03:01:23 am
I thought about something like this:
BBBBhhhBBBB
BBBBhhhBBBB
BBBBhhhBBBB
B- bridge
h- empty space
Both bridges are raising towards the empty space. We put uncaged goblins on one of them, and then raise it. They should get thrown against a wall.
Then, we lower the first bridge back and raise the second one.
Repeat until goblins turn into puree.
That's probably the most boring idea I've ever seen.
Also it won't work.
Post by: Grath on April 14, 2011, 07:09:14 am
Post by: NightmareBros on April 14, 2011, 01:37:38 pm
Quote
That's probably the most boring idea I've ever seen.Unless he builds an entire shaft of bridges leading to lava/FB lake/both that continously flings goblins, trolls and elves around.
I always wanted a giant pinball machine where the ball is the goblin seige force that attacked you.
bonus points if you install windows so dwarfs coan watch and a special front row seat for your nobility.
Post by: Scaraban on April 14, 2011, 02:30:08 pm
Fix'dQuoteThat's probably the most boring idea I've ever seen.Unless he builds an entire shaft of bridges leading to lava/FB lake/both that continously flings goblins, trolls and elves around.
I always wanted a giant pinball machine where the ball is the goblin seige force that attacked you.
bonus points if you install windows so dwarfscan watchbe scared to death despite there being no way for the goblins to path to them and a special front row seat for your nobility.
Post by: Takuanuva on April 14, 2011, 02:59:44 pm
Also it won't work.I won't bother with it then.
Or, better idea: Drop the goblins into the ocean of slime, so they can fight the FBs.Not too many FBs left. Most of them is either rotten, dead or both.
Post by: da_nang on April 14, 2011, 03:01:00 pm
Double fix'd.Fix'dQuoteThat's probably the most boring idea I've ever seen.Unless he builds an entire shaft of bridges leading to lava/FB lake/both that continously flings goblins, trolls and elves around.
I always wanted a giant pinball machine where the ball is the goblin seige force that attacked you.
bonus points if you install windows so dwarfscan watchbe scared to death despite there being no way for the goblins to path to them and a special front row seat for your nobility, who'll be flung into the machine themselves once thegoblinspinball hits a special bullseye target.
Post by: Scaraban on April 14, 2011, 03:03:59 pm
I assume by "target" you mean "bottom of the shaft", right?Double fix'd.Fix'dQuoteThat's probably the most boring idea I've ever seen.Unless he builds an entire shaft of bridges leading to lava/FB lake/both that continously flings goblins, trolls and elves around.
I always wanted a giant pinball machine where the ball is the goblin seige force that attacked you.
bonus points if you install windows so dwarfscan watchbe scared to death despite there being no way for the goblins to path to them and a special front row seat for your nobility, who'll be flung into the machine themselves once thegoblinspinball hits a special bullseye target.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 14, 2011, 03:15:33 pm
Post by: Scaraban on April 14, 2011, 03:32:03 pm
"Bulls-eye" means "the ground covered with pressure plates hooked up to do ideas above."suggestion
Post by: Takuanuva on April 16, 2011, 11:00:11 am
Hematite:
...
I have started to improve Failcannon's walls (it will get usefull after getting lava on the surface). Dwarfs are still retrieving caged prisoners, so it can take a while.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/5-2.png)
Another beast. Where do they come from?
And why every single one of them is poisonous?
...
Malachite:
...
We didn't reloaded all of the cage traps yet. We don't have enough space for all of the prisoners, se we started to store them at our graveyards (no, we didn't killed them, they just sit in their cages next to some coffins).
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/2-5.png)
This is impossible.
I just saw some horses. Non-undead, non-tamed, just a bunch of horses.
First living wild animals I have seen in years.
...
I had a conversation with Uristein Bekarkadol today.
He was made responsible for job coordination at the Failpump. He says he's a scientist (he says it's !!Scientist!!, but I have no idea what could that mean), so he should be able to manage such project.
-I have some bad news.-said Uristein
-What bad news?
-It seems, that we're running out of wood.
-Yeah. And?
-We need wood to finish the Failpump.
-Why? We can get power to the pumps using gears.
-I'm not talking about axles. I'm talking about water wheels.
-What water wheels?
-The ones in the reactor. When it comes to the water wheels, wood is the only choice.
-The reactor... I completely forgot about it. Hmm... I know where we can find some wood.
...
We're going to break to one of the caverns. If I remember correctly, there are few beasts in there.
Let's train some more military.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/5-3.png)
10 migrants arrived today. They should make things quicker.
...
Galena:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-6.png)
A human caravan has arrived. They have managed to get inside without getting killed by the zombie horses.
...
Limestone:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-7.png)
Kadol has claimed a mason's workshop. I hope he will give us something usefull.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/3-5.png)
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/4-5.png)
A table? Good enough.
...
Sandstone:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-9.png)
Another wave of migrants arrived today. 8 of them this time.
...
Timber:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-10.png)
Another forgoten beast. We have like 151 of them now.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/2-9.png)
A caravan from the Queen has arrived.
I told one of the merchants to give her a letter from me.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
...
Moonstone:
...
Nothing interesting happened this month.
...
Opal:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-11.png)
-Uristein?
-Yes?
-Can you tell me why do we have a dead dwarf at the bottom of failpump's shaft?
-Well... I told him to dig it out. So he did. He dug out th ebottom half. Then, he started to dig towards it from the above.
-He what?
-I told him it's a bad idea to do so.
-Well, at least his death will be an example for the others...
A dwarf has arrived.
-We have some miners at the hospital. They say they dug out the bottom of the Failpump's shaft, and then...
-You can't be serious...
...
Obsidian:
...
Uristein calculated, that our reactor won't be able to power all of the pumps. I have ordered him to designate some additional space for the pumps.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-12.png)
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/4-7.png)
Another two beasts... seriously, we need to get rid of them.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/2-10.png)
Goblins!
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/3-7.png)
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/5-4.png)
Fortunatelly, they don't learn on their mistakes.
More prisoners? Great.
...
I had a... strange conversation today.
Mayor called me to his office.
-Is it ready yet?- he asked.
-What is ready yet?
-The Failpump. Can it work yet?
-Of course not. It's far from being finished.
-Then you will be an Overseer for another year.
-What? Why?
-You said you're the only one who knows how to make it work.
-Yes, but...
-I made my decision then.
It seems, that i'm stuck at this job for a year more.
Just great...
...
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 16, 2011, 06:51:08 pm
Post by: Dariush on April 17, 2011, 03:41:43 am
Post by: Elderont on April 17, 2011, 11:40:25 am
Damn, why doesn't anybody ever use my cage trap in any of the forts I built it in as it was intended to (capturing merchants) and NOT simply as a long corridor lined with insta'kill' cages? ::)
Because capturing then and planing a slaughter is much more FUN!
=D
Post by: Takuanuva on April 17, 2011, 05:07:48 pm
Damn, why doesn't anybody ever use my cage trap in any of the forts I built it in as it was intended to (capturing merchants) and NOT simply as a long corridor lined with insta'kill' cages? ::)If you have a long line of cage traps, you use them. There is no point in wasting valuable resources in order to build other system if we already have an eficient method of eliminating sieges.
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 18, 2011, 09:08:59 am
Post by: Eric Blank on April 20, 2011, 08:38:07 pm
I propose making a goblin theme park of sorts that sorts out goblins at random and sends them down different paths to various modes of death, all of which of course must pass the dwarven amusement test. :P
Post by: SirAaronIII on April 20, 2011, 11:43:22 pm
Post by: Takuanuva on April 24, 2011, 02:03:39 pm
The Failpump's water reactor is placed deep underground.
In order to make it possible to stop it, I have designed some tunnels underneath the reactor's channels and connected them using floor hatches.
Now, the reactor can be turned off. Unfortunately, this means, that I need to refill it every time I want it back on. I have found a good spot to dig into the aquifer above it.
Also, to get the reactor's power to the Failpump itself, I have designed some tunnels with gear assemblies above the reactor's pumps.
The problem is, that if the water will be presurized, it will flood half of the failpump, and if it won't be, it will (propably) take way longer to fill the entire reactor (it's quite big, by the way). Is there any way to connect gear assemblies so water that flows trough them gets depressurized? If not, will it take longer for the water to spread if it's depressurized?
On a totally unrelated note: Portal 2. Best. Ending. Ever.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Grath on April 24, 2011, 04:27:58 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Mekboy on April 25, 2011, 04:48:21 am
Group of Levers all Dwarf Operated Smoothly.
Basically a room with a dwarf locked in, with levers to every part of the fort.
Post by: Takuanuva on April 25, 2011, 04:58:16 am
This fort needs a GLaDOSI was thinking about it.
Group of Levers all Dwarf Operated Smoothly.
Basically a room with a dwarf locked in, with levers to every part of the fort.
We have another problem. I can only find 3 3x3 farm plots, and we're running out of booze. I was going to build some huge farms, but I think I won't make it in time. Any sugestions?
EDIT: Using Dwarf Therapist, I have managed to completely rebuild all labors. Failcannon should be more efficient now.
Post by: Darvi on April 25, 2011, 06:40:42 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Oglokoog on April 25, 2011, 08:39:45 am
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 25, 2011, 09:56:00 am
Post by: Takuanuva on April 25, 2011, 10:15:26 am
And, by the way, Failcannon is no longer in danger of thirst. Yay for the Dwarf Thereapist.
EDIT: Dwarwes started to pull corpses out of the ocean drainage system's floor. I think those are the corpses, that someone tried to recover, but they vanished. It turns out game just forgot about them- but not dwarfs.
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 25, 2011, 12:43:22 pm
Post by: Takuanuva on April 25, 2011, 03:17:44 pm
WHY NO ONE MADE ANY SOAP?
Post by: Glacial on April 25, 2011, 03:21:29 pm
I have only one question:
WHY NO ONE MADE ANY SOAP?
Urist McDwarf cancels Clean Self: Area inaccessible
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 25, 2011, 03:31:36 pm
Post by: Darvi on April 25, 2011, 03:38:54 pm
Please stop talking about Portal and making Portal references. It's the most annoying thing in the history of the internet.Okay. Will stop making Portal references in 3.
2.
Post by: Takuanuva on April 26, 2011, 02:57:32 am
...Another year? (I wouldn't ask if it wouldn't be so important- we're talking about a megaproject that can either flood entire world with lava OR flood entire Failcannon with lava (or not work at all), and I'm not sure if it's even possible to write down all things that need to be done in order to do the first one without doing the second one)
Post by: Chessrook44 on April 26, 2011, 06:39:37 am
(we're talking about a megaproject that can either flood entire world with lava OR flood entire Failcannon with lava (or not work at all), and I'm not sure if it's even possible to write down all things that need to be done in order to do the first one without doing the second one)Isn't that part of the "Fun"?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 26, 2011, 07:40:18 am
...Another year?Ask breadbocks.
Post by: Andreus on April 26, 2011, 10:39:51 am
I did also like the sound of A.N.D.R.E.U.S. (Accelerated Numerological Deathlessly Reincarnating Entirely Unliscenced Sorcerer). But then again, I'm biased.
Post by: Takuanuva on April 26, 2011, 11:51:59 am
If it's possible, how would the building react to, for example, pulling one of the levers without the other one.
Also, A.I.'s name should be shorter than 6 characters (at least I think so).
Post by: Darvi on April 26, 2011, 11:59:55 am
Post by: Takuanuva on April 26, 2011, 12:22:54 pm
b) U.R.I.S.T. (Underground Reasonably Intelligent Settlement Technologist)
c) C.O.R.E. (Completely Omnipotent Reacting Element)
d) T.O.A.D.Y.O.N.E. (Titanic Overmind Actively Determining Your Overwhelmingly Nontrivial Existence)
e) A.N.D.R.E.U.S. (Accelerated Numerological Deathlessly Reincarnating Entirely Unliscenced Sorcerer)
Chose one.
Post by: Darvi on April 26, 2011, 12:27:01 pm
Post by: malkomk on April 26, 2011, 12:47:53 pm
Also, WHO MOVED MY TURN DOWN? I swear it used to be higher up...
I approve of the GLaDOS idea! 8)
Post by: Takuanuva on April 26, 2011, 01:10:15 pm
Takuanuva has been playing for WEEKS. Isn't there a RL time limit for turns?Never heard about one.
Don't worry, I should finish this year tomorrow (hopefully), and then either I'l take another year (or less) to finish the Failpump (90 magma-safe pumps, huge reactor, lots of gears- it can take a while) or I'l give the save to breadbocks/anyone else who is after me on the turn list.
Also, Failpump is around 75-80% done. I need to clean things up and add the pumps and gears. But, there is also one more problem... I propably won't be able to get enough wood on time (reactor's water wheels need tons of it). I can either open one of the caves or...
Could anyone modify raws so it would be possible to make logs out of stone?
Post by: Glacial on April 26, 2011, 01:23:16 pm
Could anyone modify raws so it would be possible to make logs out of stone?
This is Failcannon, not Cheatcannon. Not having enough time to finish ambitious projects is one of the wondrous delights of a succession fortress.
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 26, 2011, 01:34:38 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on April 26, 2011, 01:44:11 pm
Basically this is what happens when those skiped turns acumilate - one guy plays for a loooong time before we move on to the next guy.
Which makes it the turn of getting stuff done/Megaprojecting, I suppose.
Post by: Takuanuva on April 26, 2011, 01:54:19 pm
...I'm running out of cages. And space. And it takes MONTHS to reload all of those traps.
Post by: kisame12794 on April 26, 2011, 02:15:34 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on April 26, 2011, 03:37:06 pm
Another siege, another army caught.Just f'ing close it all off completely if you don't know how to deal with them. Or, alternatively, screw your megaprojects and make an actual, trained up army. We need one. Using cages in singleplayer is fine. Using them in succession forts is sort of boring.
...I'm running out of cages. And space. And it takes MONTHS to reload all of those traps.
I want gory battle descriptions, not "another army caught"...
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 26, 2011, 04:14:21 pm
Post by: Takuanuva on April 26, 2011, 04:51:38 pm
1. I don't have to worry about defending the fortress.
2. I can use all of the dwarfs to build the Failpump.
3. Someone after me will be able to use those caged prisoners as the source of goblinite and target practice.
4. We have a growing cage making industry.
Post by: SirAaronIII on April 26, 2011, 10:12:15 pm
...right?
Post by: Takuanuva on April 27, 2011, 03:04:26 pm
Failpump is almost done, I just need to instal pumps (60 or so), remove all of the stones (huge pile of them) and get wood for axles and water wheels (lots of it). Fortunately, I have found a good spot to get into one of the caves. There is quite a lot of trees (shrooms?) in there, and only 2-5 FBs.
BTW, someone left some FB extract in one of the corridors. Two miners have damaged sensory nerves thanks to this stuff. (Okay, it might have been hard to remove it, but you could at least leave a note or wall it off...)
Post by: LordSlowpoke on April 27, 2011, 03:13:22 pm
Year will take a bit more than expected. I'l do everything I can to finish it before weekend.well i'm sorry i had no idea it was THAT pile of extract that made everyone numb to shit
Failpump is almost done, I just need to instal pumps (60 or so), remove all of the stones (huge pile of them) and get wood for axles and water wheels (lots of it). Fortunately, I have found a good spot to get into one of the caves. There is quite a lot of trees (shrooms?) in there, and only 2-5 FBs.
BTW, someone left some FB extract in one of the corridors. Two miners have damaged sensory nerves thanks to this stuff. (Okay, it might have been hard to remove it, but you could at least leave a note or wall it off...)
No, seriously. I thought it was a random FB that got killed because only the military got that syndrome.
Post by: Takuanuva on April 27, 2011, 04:03:11 pm
*By removing all of the stairs that were less than 5 squares away
EDIT: I have a question:
If secretive dwarf demands "stacked cloth", he requires specyfic type of cloth (yarn, plant...) or any cloth?
And how can I check which type he wants?
Post by: EmeraldWind on April 28, 2011, 11:23:55 pm
I have a question:If you have what he requires he will go and get it. That is all you can do. So if you have plant cloth and silk cloth, but continues to ask for stacked cloth he doesn't want those.
If secretive dwarf demands "stacked cloth", he requires specyfic type of cloth (yarn, plant...) or any cloth?
And how can I check which type he wants?
Post by: Takuanuva on April 29, 2011, 02:58:36 pm
Post by: ignatzami on April 29, 2011, 03:38:22 pm
3 months left, and dwarfs didn't even dumped all of the stone in the Failpump. I need more time.
No good sir, you need more Dwarves!
Post by: Takuanuva on April 29, 2011, 03:57:21 pm
No good sir, you need more Dwarves!Work orders:
Make Dwarfs 30/30
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 29, 2011, 05:53:49 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on April 29, 2011, 06:51:56 pm
Post by: malkomk on April 29, 2011, 07:24:02 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on April 30, 2011, 03:22:00 am
Post by: Takuanuva on April 30, 2011, 03:36:21 am
Post by: Grath on April 30, 2011, 07:31:39 am
Post by: Takuanuva on April 30, 2011, 01:47:57 pm
I can give the save after finishing Obsidian, but I ask for another year or half anyway. One error while building the Failpump and the whole base gets flooded with pressurized !!Fun!!.
Post by: ignatzami on April 30, 2011, 02:39:49 pm
2 months left, 82 dwarfs, almost no wood (thus no waterwheels) and most of the pumps (both in the reactor and the Failpump itself) are not built yet.
I can give the save after finishing Obsidian, but I ask for another year or half anyway. One error while building the Failpump and the whole base gets flooded with pressurized !!Fun!!.
I'd rather see it done right, then see it passed off and done wrong.
Post by: Oglokoog on April 30, 2011, 03:34:21 pm
Getting the failpump done would certainly be nice, but part of the fun of succession forts is not having enough time to finish your stuff. This is really ruining it.
Post by: Takuanuva on April 30, 2011, 04:49:56 pm
Is it possible to start a water reactor by flooding it completely with water and then opening a near-by floor hatch to create water flow?
Post by: Zeocin on April 30, 2011, 09:21:07 pm
Post by: Takuanuva on May 01, 2011, 10:22:20 am
So much to be done... I need to place thousands of them to make sure everything will be done correctly...
Post by: Dariush on May 01, 2011, 01:57:20 pm
Post by: NerfJihad on May 01, 2011, 08:04:31 pm
Post by: Vandersleld on May 01, 2011, 08:26:51 pm
Hopefully the fortress will survive for another 10-ish years... If it does, I'll be disappointed if it's not a wretched hive of forgotten beasts and half-built megaprojects.
Post by: Oglokoog on May 02, 2011, 03:50:38 am
Placing notes for the next Overseers.I would like to have a turn right after you and fuck everything up just to spite you. You've really turned this from madness to boringness. I mad.
So much to be done... I need to place thousands of them to make sure everything will be done correctly...
edit: ugh... sorry. I'm being retarded. Still, I stand by my opinion that what you're doing here is just not right. The "take as much time as you need as long as it's epic" clause really doesn't cover this. I don't know who let you have more than one year and I'm not going to bother reading back through the thread to find out, but it was an incredibly bad decision. I'm sorry for being all bitter about this...
Post by: Glacial on May 02, 2011, 12:22:08 pm
Still, I stand by my opinion that what you're doing here is just not right. The "take as much time as you need as long as it's epic" clause really doesn't cover this. I don't know who let you have more than one year and I'm not going to bother reading back through the thread to find out, but it was an incredibly bad decision. I'm sorry for being all bitter about this...
I'd put it this way: Takuanuva, all that great work you've done will be lost if you don't get a save posted and back to the community. It's more important to give the next players their turn in a reasonable amount of time than to get everything you want done perfectly.
(sez the manager in his third week of trying to get through his Bellwaxed turn...)
Post by: Takuanuva on May 02, 2011, 01:11:29 pm
Post by: DorvenEngineering on May 02, 2011, 01:29:19 pm
Also, it turns out that Lur Thiefwitch may have fallen, but he does still have all manner of followers, not all of whom are entirely dwarven:
(http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4848/lifestock.th.jpg) (http://img18.imageshack.us/i/lifestock.jpg/).
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 02, 2011, 01:42:15 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on May 02, 2011, 06:44:42 pm
Getting a horse to worship a god of trickery is perhaps the best trick a mortal can pull off.What!?! The Horse are the chosen people of Lur blasphemer!
Post by: malkomk on May 02, 2011, 11:19:45 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 02, 2011, 11:20:43 pm
Post by: malkomk on May 03, 2011, 02:27:50 pm
Post by: Takuanuva on May 03, 2011, 04:53:16 pm
Post by: ignatzami on May 03, 2011, 09:27:09 pm
I think I've placed all the notes I had to (1500 or so). I can finally unpause the game and finish the year.
Wow
Post by: Zathel on May 04, 2011, 01:22:39 am
Post by: Takuanuva on May 04, 2011, 04:28:27 am
Post by: Oglokoog on May 04, 2011, 07:29:17 am
Post by: LordSlowpoke on May 04, 2011, 08:56:12 am
I really hope you don't seriously expect the next overseer to follow your instructions to the letter and waste HIS time doing stuff that YOU want done.
I swear, if it wasn't for the fact I'm already fed up with managing this I'd take even another turn just to do exactly what the notes say then redirect it into the fort just so you two get pissed off. Also dwarf roast, delicious dwarf roast.
Post by: Takuanuva on May 04, 2011, 11:53:51 am
...
Granite:
...
Turns out Failcannon is running out of alcohol. I have no idea why, but I'm going to ask a few guys, someone should know something.
...
It seems that there are only 3 small farms in here, and there are almost no dwarfs working there. It is propably caused by the dwarfs having almost random tasks. Dividing all dwarfs into few large groups with difrent groups of jobs should help a bit.
...
We need some more farms, but I don't know where to build them yet..
...
Slate:
...
New dwarfs arrived today. I don't know if it's good or bad in this situation.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/2-11.png)
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/4-8.png)
Two miners that were diging the channels at the Failpump and fell few floors down because they were digging directly downwards have died because of the infection. This means 2 things:
1) They won't dig downwards anymore.
2) We need soap.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/3-8.png)
Since we have no yarn, Filthywalrus went berserk. He was quickly killed by the military and caused no damage.
...
Felsite:
...
An elven caravan has arrived. They had no yarn.
...
Failpump's reactor is a bit tricky when it gets to stopping it. The easiest way to do so is by draining it. Which means that the water needs to get somewhere else. Fortunatelly, there is a staircase leading to the Ocean of Ooze, close enough to the reactor. Unfortunatelly, one of the beasts from the Ocean has climbed on the staircase and since it was in contact with the ooze it's pretty rotten. I've ordered the military to wait outside the tunnel and told one of the miners to dig trough the wall between the drainage tunnel and the staircase.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-13.png)
That was a quite short fight. As soon as the wall was digged trough, the beast has entered the drainage tunnel. So did the military. But, since the beast was pretty rotten, they were all fighting surrounded by the miasma so dense that no one was able to see anything. After a few minutes dwarfs left the miasma-filled tunnel. I've ordered a wall to be built in there, so no beasts will ever get trough.
...
Hematite:
...
Since our walls aren't magma-safe yet, I have ordered the dwarfs to make them higher. It should also help our defences a bit.
...
Malachite:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-14.png)
Cheese is acting strange. He stopped talking at all and sits in the forge drawing pictures of stuff. I hope he will make something usefull from these things.
...
New migrants arried. More hands to work are apreciated.
...
Galena:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-15.png)
(http://s1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/?action-view¤t=2-12.png)
A boot? You've made a single boot? Okay...
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/3-9.png)
Another goblin army got caught in our traps. I have no idea what to do with them.
...
Limestone:
...
I hava a plan to get some wood from one of the caves. I'm currently preparing a room for the wood to be stored.
...
Sandstone:
...
More dwarfs. We need a big farm if we don't want to starve.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-17.png)
Another beast. Why do they even come here?
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/2-13.png)
Some child stopped talking and draws pictures of things. We're going to get a new useless piece of junk.
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/3-10.png)
One of the Forgoten Beasts, Migur, got inside our fortress. Seals killed it, but I have no idea how did he got inside.
...
Turns out the child that started drawing stuff wants some yarn. Since I never saw a piece of yarn cloth in this fort, I don't think he will stay sane for too long.
...
Timber:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-19.png)
A group of zombie buzzards has arrived to the Failcannon. Since they made everyone stop working and run away from them, I've ordered military to shoot them down immediatelly.
...
2 snatchers got caught in our traps. I hope this don't mean another siege will be soon.
...
A caravan from Dastot Cog has arrived. We're opening the gates for them.
...
Merchants died in the ambush, as well as some of the dwarfs I've sent to rescue them.
I hate goblins.
...
Moonstone:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-20.png)
The silent child has went crazy. Fortunatelly, he just started to walk slowly around.
...
Opal:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-21.png)
The farm I've designed few months ago is finally done, so we won't starve to death. Yet.
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/2-14.png)
Also, I've decided to make a tree farm, so we won't have to gather it in the caves.
...
Obsidian:
...
(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l632/takuanuva/1-22.png)
The silent child who went crazy has died from thirst. He will be missed.
...
My turn is finally over. I'm so tired. Save here. (http://www.mediafire.com/?b89gqekdfp2d4kz)
Post by: Dariush on May 04, 2011, 12:47:11 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on May 04, 2011, 01:04:20 pm
Quote
what are we going with all those goblins?
Goblins V.S FBs
No items
final destination
Post by: Ahrimahn on May 04, 2011, 01:16:51 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on May 04, 2011, 01:36:05 pm
Post by: Dariush on May 04, 2011, 01:51:42 pm
too bad we couldn't put them to work in labor camps. that would be useful. kinda.IIRC Toady scheduled this feature for DF 0.56.01.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 04, 2011, 01:52:42 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on May 04, 2011, 01:56:31 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 05, 2011, 05:10:18 pm
Post by: malkomk on May 05, 2011, 05:31:46 pm
Post by: breadbocks on May 05, 2011, 05:38:37 pm
I honestly haven;t been following this. Are there any project I need to finish?
Post by: Oglokoog on May 05, 2011, 06:37:13 pm
Ho boy.No. Ignore anyone who would tell you otherwise.
I honestly haven;t been following this. Are there any project I need to finish?
(or look at ingame notes and find out)
Post by: Dariush on May 06, 2011, 02:32:50 am
Ho boy.Finish my door monument :P
I honestly haven;t been following this. Are there any project I need to finish?
Post by: Zathel on May 06, 2011, 05:04:15 pm
Ho boy.
I honestly haven;t been following this. Are there any project I need to finish?
Only if you want to finish it. Don't sweat it too much, just enjoy the game. I know I will enjoy things finally moving forward.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on May 07, 2011, 05:59:38 am
That is a lot of notes.
We won't get nearly enough wood for the water wheels and axles even if we made the elves carry an entire universe on a warthog's back or something. Just how MUCH power did you calculate for the entire pump stack, Takuanuva...?
Post by: Ahrimahn on May 07, 2011, 08:11:07 am
Post by: Dariush on May 07, 2011, 08:24:55 am
Seriously, it looks like you spent more time putting them than actually playing the game :P
Also,
(http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/4206/838b041de6ac4af3b5acf30.png)
(http://img847.imageshack.us/img847/5188/2882934cbb274a349b63761.png)
According to unit list, there are 241 goblin prisoners in all out there (and one uncaged crossbowgoblin).
TWO FUCKING HUNDRED FUCKING FORTY FUCKING ONE.
Really, this is getting ridiculous. Maybe it's time to build the ARENA?
And have prisoners escape and kill everyone in the fortress.
Post by: Takuanuva on May 07, 2011, 09:21:02 am
Just how MUCH power did you calculate for the entire pump stack, Takuanuva...?Around 90 levels * around 25 power per level ( + 200, because some levels have more gears) = around 2500 power for the pump itself, not including reactor's mechanisms.
Let's say, that mechanisms inside the reactor will take 500 power (lots of gears). This gives us 3000 power, which divided by 170 gives us 18 dwarven water reactors required to run the reactor and the pump.
I think.
Additional power could be usefull, because the Failpump as it is only pumps magma to the ground level.
Post by: Greader on May 08, 2011, 07:27:16 am
What I mean to say is, my idea on how to deal with the goblins is to make a bridge or multiple bridges at the highest point of the map and find a way to catapult all the goblins at once from up there, creating a literal rain of goblins.
Just imagine seeing 241 goblins raining from the sky and falling to the ground. It would be fun to watch (If it gets recorded), and if the fall is high enough we would get a ton of bones out of it.
Post by: Dariush on May 08, 2011, 07:56:34 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
However, I doubt this will injure the standing goblins. Can anybody verify?
Post by: malkomk on May 09, 2011, 10:47:27 am
Post by: kisame12794 on May 09, 2011, 11:58:07 am
Post by: Mekboy on May 09, 2011, 01:47:08 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on May 09, 2011, 02:11:57 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 09, 2011, 03:21:05 pm
Post by: LordSlowpoke on May 09, 2011, 03:31:44 pm
The "object" that those dwarves collided with was the ground.
Wait. Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. Now we need to modify the earth to be percieved by Dwarves as a hostile being while they fall, so they can dodge it. A legendary dodger could keep flying indefinitely or until he found a safe (constructed) place to stand on.
Science calls.
Post by: kisame12794 on May 09, 2011, 03:34:04 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 09, 2011, 03:37:03 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on May 09, 2011, 03:38:15 pm
Post by: Darvi on May 09, 2011, 03:39:30 pm
>_>
Post by: kisame12794 on May 09, 2011, 03:41:02 pm
Post by: Darvi on May 09, 2011, 03:44:35 pm
Post by: Zathel on May 09, 2011, 04:16:31 pm
With only the slight problem that falling objects don't kill stuff.
Yet.
Post by: Darvi on May 09, 2011, 04:17:02 pm
If they count as objects, that is.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 09, 2011, 05:41:55 pm
Post by: Ledi on May 12, 2011, 02:19:00 am
...actually, tumbleweeds in DF would be pretty awesome. Let's see, they appear in desert/badlands biomes, use the masterwork symbol or the dwarfbuck symbol and can be used to see if a map has wind (ie they'd be blown in a direction or just stay still and get munched on by cattle).
Post by: Chessrook44 on May 12, 2011, 06:08:50 am
*tumbleweed*Until then fly up into a corner of your wall and get stuck... followed by another... and another... all trying to pathfind... and soon you've got a problem worse than cats.
...actually, tumbleweeds in DF would be pretty awesome. Let's see, they appear in desert/badlands biomes, use the masterwork symbol or the dwarfbuck symbol and can be used to see if a map has wind (ie they'd be blown in a direction or just stay still and get munched on by cattle).
Post by: EmeraldWind on May 12, 2011, 08:04:37 am
*tumbleweed*Until then fly up into a corner of your wall and get stuck... followed by another... and another... all trying to pathfind... and soon you've got a problem worse than cats.
...actually, tumbleweeds in DF would be pretty awesome. Let's see, they appear in desert/badlands biomes, use the masterwork symbol or the dwarfbuck symbol and can be used to see if a map has wind (ie they'd be blown in a direction or just stay still and get munched on by cattle).
Once they get stuck they could cease to pathfind and after burning is allowed in Fort Mode you could get rid of them easily enough... or you could weaponize them and fling them at goblins. Tumbleweeds could also grow in your forts area and if you get to them before they die, you should be able to brew them. Tumblewhiskey for everyone!
Post by: Chessrook44 on May 12, 2011, 11:17:40 am
Weaponize them... heh...*tumbleweed*Until then fly up into a corner of your wall and get stuck... followed by another... and another... all trying to pathfind... and soon you've got a problem worse than cats.
...actually, tumbleweeds in DF would be pretty awesome. Let's see, they appear in desert/badlands biomes, use the masterwork symbol or the dwarfbuck symbol and can be used to see if a map has wind (ie they'd be blown in a direction or just stay still and get munched on by cattle).
Once they get stuck they could cease to pathfind and after burning is allowed in Fort Mode you could get rid of them easily enough... or you could weaponize them and fling them at goblins. Tumbleweeds could also grow in your forts area and if you get to them before they die, you should be able to brew them. Tumblewhiskey for everyone!
Urist McPanic: Sir! There's a horde of goblins coming for the gates!
Urist McCrazy: Release....... the tumbleweeds!
[Lever pulled, 20 tumbleweeds tumble towards the goblins, who run from the tumbleweeds as big as they are, screaming.]
Urist McCrazy: You DID remember to put pieces of jagged metal in the tumbleweeds, right?
Urist McPanic: Yes sir. Always.
[Cue gruesome violence]
Post by: kisame12794 on May 12, 2011, 11:24:42 am
Post by: Remalle on May 12, 2011, 11:29:59 am
Post by: Chessrook44 on May 12, 2011, 11:33:52 am
Wouldnt weaponized tumbleweeds be too heavy to, you know, tumble?That's why I said metal SHARDS, not full-on axe blades. Think like barbed wire, but with the wire replaced by the tumbleweeds, and sent to spin.
Besides, we're dwarves. We're just that awesome.
Post by: kisame12794 on May 12, 2011, 11:39:17 am
Post by: EmeraldWind on May 12, 2011, 12:22:49 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on May 12, 2011, 12:27:56 pm
Post by: da_nang on May 12, 2011, 12:39:41 pm
I was thinking more along the lines of flinging burning tumbleweeds on the goblins. But right now there isn't a reliable way of setting something on fire... well there is... but if you can use that you don't need to weaponize tumbleweeds.In Dwarf Fortress, there's no such thing as overkill when the results are worthy of alcoholically induced, brawl-inducing, beautiful, iconic, glorious and divine songs, sung by hearty and grunting dwarves upon thousands of desecrated, mutilated, strewn, torn, burnt, melted, obsidianized, elfblood-drenched and cat-conquered goblin corpses from that overkill.
Post by: Darvi on May 12, 2011, 12:48:22 pm
Post by: Andreus on May 16, 2011, 07:04:15 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 16, 2011, 07:18:42 am
Post by: Dariush on May 16, 2011, 07:26:46 am
Post by: Mekboy on May 16, 2011, 05:20:45 pm
Post by: PFactorial on May 16, 2011, 08:06:54 pm
But IDK if it'll work, since I have the Linux version of DF. Does anyone know if the saves would be able to be transferred?
Post by: Megaman3321 on May 16, 2011, 08:12:13 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 17, 2011, 03:35:37 am
Seriously, we need to shorten waiting times. With the current rule of 'take as long as you wish' we'll never get anywhere...
Is it still possible to join this succession game?
But IDK if it'll work, since I have the Linux version of DF. Does anyone know if the saves would be able to be transferred?
Should I take my turn now? I have plenty of time, but don't expect any big updates unless something interesting happens. I.e., don't expect me to rattle on about the farms and shit.
Yes to all.
Post by: Scaraban on May 17, 2011, 01:48:01 pm
Post by: Darvi on May 17, 2011, 01:52:40 pm
Post by: Zeocin on May 18, 2011, 01:48:39 am
It's okay, but people should make frequent updates in return. Ya know, to prove that they're still active.
Really, that's pretty much the crux right there.
Post by: CatalystParadox on May 18, 2011, 01:49:26 am
I hereby solemnly swear, by the beard of Lur, to bring the epic, and promptly.
Post by: cappstv on May 18, 2011, 11:08:23 am
I haven't read this in a while, and now I think I might not read anything else for a bit.
Post by: CatalystParadox on May 18, 2011, 03:56:18 pm
Post by: Vandersleld on May 21, 2011, 04:58:40 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on May 21, 2011, 05:01:26 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on May 22, 2011, 01:49:59 am
Yeah whoever is available should get the turn at this point the fort should not be killed by neglect it deserves flaming glory!
It's Megaman's turn, and he did say he was only going to update if something significant happened. But we are all a little FAILCANNON-starved.
Perhaps a brief check-in, megaman? Just summarize what's been going on to let us all known Failcannon's still out there?
Post by: Megaman3321 on May 23, 2011, 12:35:51 pm
EDIT: Aaaaand my comp BSOD'd from overheating from DF. Just skip to the next person; I didn't do anything in DF since May 17 due to school and poor allocation of time :-[
Post by: Chessrook44 on May 23, 2011, 03:07:23 pm
Post by: Megaman3321 on May 23, 2011, 03:27:05 pm
Post by: Takuanuva on May 23, 2011, 04:10:12 pm
I mean, it's a 90 z-level high magma pump stack with a huge Dwarwen Water Reactor right next to it. And he got a BSoD without that.
Post by: CatalystParadox on May 23, 2011, 04:29:24 pm
Post by: Dariush on May 24, 2011, 02:43:39 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 24, 2011, 08:44:28 am
Post by: Deviled on May 24, 2011, 09:32:36 am
Post by: Katsuun on May 24, 2011, 09:32:25 pm
Post by: Chessrook44 on May 25, 2011, 05:56:27 am
May I desire a turn?Of course you can desire a turn! But whether you can HAVE a turn or not is up to the mods.
Post by: Takuanuva on May 25, 2011, 08:55:14 am
I've seen a post somewhere on this forum that said that if you use 3x3 chambers in between pumps instead of 1x1, the FPS hit will be much smaller. Maybe we should try this?I saw it too. That's why I built it with those 3x3 chambers. But it's a huge magma pump after all.
Post by: malkomk on May 27, 2011, 10:22:20 am
Post by: Takuanuva on May 27, 2011, 12:15:46 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 28, 2011, 06:55:13 am
Post by: Darvi on May 28, 2011, 10:34:58 am
Post by: Chessrook44 on May 28, 2011, 12:04:24 pm
*holds up a sign saying "GIVE ME UPDATES OR GIVE ME DEATH!"*[Pulls the Magma Lever]
Post by: Takuanuva on May 28, 2011, 12:15:52 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on May 28, 2011, 02:26:15 pm
I'm thinking giving Deviled a deadline of tommorrow to post any updates before we move on to the next guy seems fair.
Post by: Darvi on May 28, 2011, 02:28:29 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on May 28, 2011, 02:32:35 pm
Post by: Grath on May 28, 2011, 04:15:43 pm
Post by: Dariush on May 29, 2011, 02:38:17 am
Post by: Ledi on May 29, 2011, 04:02:40 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 30, 2011, 01:56:11 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on May 31, 2011, 08:47:07 pm
Post by: Darvi on June 01, 2011, 04:02:49 am
I'll get the save.
And the aspirin.
Post by: Darvi on June 01, 2011, 09:16:14 am
Post by: Takuanuva on June 01, 2011, 09:54:36 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on June 01, 2011, 11:15:15 am
Well, "tomorrow" is over apparently.
I'll get the save.
And the aspirin.
Actually, Weirdsound PM'd me with a response yesterday:
Quote
Right. Well, I'll read up when I wake up and see what I can do for the fortress.
So you might want to wait a bit.
Post by: Darvi on June 01, 2011, 11:17:04 am
Aight.
At least this gives me more time to study.
Post by: Weirdsound on June 01, 2011, 04:02:55 pm
Edit: Is the May 4th save in the first post the most recent? Or is there some newer one elsewhere in the thread?
Post by: LordSlowpoke on June 02, 2011, 01:39:35 am
Also - another turn I had, another trap gauntlet that's supposedly the most useful thing I left for others. And still nobody smelts those commemorative coins. Asfgdas.
Post by: Weirdsound on June 02, 2011, 06:53:44 pm
I was truly looking forward to my first attempt at running a Succession fort, but I'd be doing you all a disservice and dragging out my turn over a large block of time if I started this today. I'm going to have to pass, guess you wont be getting your extra study time afterall Darvi. Goodluck.
When this bastard falls I'm soooooo getting in line early for Battlefailed III...
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on June 02, 2011, 09:46:35 pm
Post by: Keltiknight on June 02, 2011, 10:43:52 pm
Post by: Takuanuva on June 04, 2011, 01:38:38 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on June 04, 2011, 01:48:44 pm
Post by: Darvi on June 04, 2011, 01:52:05 pm
I guess I'll take a later turn then.
Post by: Ahrimahn on June 04, 2011, 02:15:08 pm
Post by: tryrar on June 04, 2011, 04:46:44 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on June 04, 2011, 05:43:51 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on June 04, 2011, 09:22:22 pm
Post by: derekiv on June 04, 2011, 09:28:52 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on June 04, 2011, 11:26:10 pm
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=85284.30
Post by: malkomk on June 07, 2011, 11:02:12 pm
Seriously. Is this dead? :(
Post by: noodle0117 on June 08, 2011, 06:51:06 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on June 08, 2011, 01:39:11 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on June 08, 2011, 05:21:49 pm
Post by: Darkmere on June 08, 2011, 05:38:16 pm
Battlefailed 3
... Whalecannon?
Post by: Keltiknight on June 08, 2011, 06:55:35 pm
Post by: Ghills on June 08, 2011, 09:00:25 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on June 08, 2011, 10:25:06 pm
Would anyone in the thread (preferably OP's opinion?) mind if I did an 'alternate universe' update using the current save? Either an adventure-mode exploration or a "how quickly and hilariously can I run this thing into the ground?" sort of play.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on June 08, 2011, 11:33:52 pm
Has someone PM'd Magentawolf?
Yes.
My secret project is complete!
Would anyone in the thread (preferably OP's opinion?) mind if I did an 'alternate universe' update using the current save? Either an adventure-mode exploration or a "how quickly and hilariously can I run this thing into the ground?" sort of play.
Why not?
Post by: Eric Blank on June 09, 2011, 02:32:42 am
Read through ten pages and only one update... I rather liked the blocking/dodging the ground discussion though. Made my day.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on June 09, 2011, 12:31:41 pm
Oh, hey, sorry! I'd completely forgotten about this; I won't have the opportunity to take my turn now, so please just remove me from the list.
ANDREUS! I SUMMON THEE!!!
Post by: Andreus on June 09, 2011, 12:54:41 pm
Post by: goukaryuujin on June 09, 2011, 02:04:34 pm
Post by: Andreus on June 09, 2011, 02:07:07 pm
1st Granite, 532
So it has come to this.
A new year is upon us, and when finally confronted with the question of who, indeed, would dare to take the position of mayor, we were presented with one single, simple answer. No-one. No-one had the spine take the reigns of this monstrous place, so deeply loathed by all things that even Hell itself recoils from us. Between this blighted beach and blighted coast we stand, utterly accursed. Beneath us, hell. Above us, stars and gods, dying. Around us, dank water, goblins and ambulatory cattle corpses. Before us, Queen Led Uthmikmebzuth, the Genocidally Insane. After us, nothing.
My own functional immortality may be coming to an end, as all things converge to the vanishing point of oblivion.
Oh, to hell with it. I'll be mayor. It's not like there's anything I could possibly lose at this point.
2nd Granite, 532
First things first: I have been contemplating my past lives - the ones that occured before I arrived in this accursed world - and I have not had much attention left for this place. It seems I must sift through the vast, untidy mess of notes the previous overseers left behind, and observe the unfinished plans and projects that they have littered this fortress with.
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness. I have found evidence of what appears to be some effort to reproduce the Eternity Engine from Battlefailed (whose wheels, bizarrely, I have heard turning in my dreams (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=76193.msg2041156#msg2041156) as of late) on a much larger scale.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Besides me, there are eighty dwarves clinging to life in Failcannon. Nine are children. This means there are seventy-two able-bodied dwarves in Failcannon. The militia numbers thirty dwarves across three squads. According to our most recent stocklists, food and drink do not seem to be a pressing concern, even though I can't seem to work out where either the farms or the breweries are. I don't understand what anything is, what anything does, or what the hell this even is:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I have no idea what to do. This is a new sensation.
What I'm going to do for now is let everything that doesn't require active planning (i.e. whatever monstrous catacomb was planned by the previous overseer) work itself out while I search the uncountable aeons of knowledge I have accumulated for an answer as to what the bleeding fuck I should do next.
Post by: Andreus on June 09, 2011, 02:38:33 pm
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-3.png)
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-4.png)
Our possessed metalsmith, Aik, finally found all the materials he needed for whatever it was that he's trying to make, and he's now started work on it...
10th Granite
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-5.png)
... and finished it.
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-6.png)
It's a glass trumpet. Not really much I can say about it. I mean, it's very pretty and all, but I would have prefered a powerful weapon or some form of arcane focus that I could use to flee this world for good. It's not like he'll even let anyone play the damn thing, it's so fragile. Yet another bauble on the increasingly large list of pointless junk that people will inevitably try to rain the fortress to obtain.
Post by: Eric Blank on June 09, 2011, 04:44:53 pm
- Andreus on the state of a succession game he inherited, Failcannon.
I'm going to both sig this (if permitted?) and place it in my Quotes.txt file (near the top, too) for all eternity.
I look forward to a very entertaining read.
Post by: Andreus on June 09, 2011, 07:07:52 pm
It probably WON'T be a very entertaining turn, as I really don't have any idea what to do or where things go. I'm probably just going to spend the year holding on, trying to make sure nothing goes to hell.
Post by: Andreus on June 09, 2011, 09:43:52 pm
Some migrants have arrived. Poor fools.
I can't find the lever that opens the gate. I'm not even entirely sure where exactly the gate is.
They're going to starve to death. Kind of ironic, really. Queen Led's plan is working - dwarves turn up here, and then they die.
19th Slate, 532
Oh, no, wait, they're not going to starve to death. They're going to be eviscerated by the local wilddeath.
Post by: Dariush on June 10, 2011, 04:04:17 am
Journal of Andreus the Endless One (10th Aluonra Incarnation)This post consists of concentrated win by 110%.
1st Granite, 532
So it has come to this.
...
Post by: LordSlowpoke on June 10, 2011, 05:02:02 am
Anyway, if I remember correct - the tiny 3x1 rooms were bedrooms, with the bigger ones designed for nobles, obviously the biggest being designed specifically for the current overseer's avatar or the King/Queen upon arrival. The big block at the end of the hallway was a dining room, north of it is food storage #1, below it is another level almost like that - but filled with 3x1 rooms, south of the dining room is booze storage #1, connecting to the same pattern. West of those two staircases are the barracks and the emergency weapon storage for militia buildups, filled with mainly axes, spears and crossbows. That's the original design, obviously, it can be optimized for whatever situation really.
Post by: Andreus on June 10, 2011, 01:31:21 pm
After days of fruitless searching, I was finally able to locate the set of levers that operate the drawbridges. I have placed an overseer's bookmark in the relevant location, so that future overseers (if this place survives another year) will know where to find them. I have sent the militia out to scour the land of wilddeath for the time being. We managed to get our migrants inside, with only one dwarf sustaining any major injuries: Cog Rovodesis, a spinner, was severely wounded during an ambush by two skorses. Both his hands and his right foot are broken and will require the services of the fortress medical staff.
3rd Felsite, 532
My new office and dining room are complete. What can I say? I feel the weight of onrushing doom weighing heavily upon me. If these are the last days of my aeons-long life - and the last days of all things, in all worlds - then I'd like to at least spend them in relative comfort.
10th Felsite, 532
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-8.png)
Neotemplar has inexplicably died of thirst just above the Eternity Engine chamber. I have absolutely no idea what he was doing there or why he could not avail himself of our massive supply of alcohol.
Post by: Andreus on June 10, 2011, 01:42:24 pm
Two things of note occured today:
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-9.png)
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-10.png)
NO WAIT, MAKE THAT THREE THINGS:
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-11.png)
Well, looks like those elves are screwed. Better line up all three militia squads and get some killing done.
NB:
22nd Felsite, 532
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-21.png)
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-22.png)
23rd Felsite, 532
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-23.png)
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-24.png)
So.
Post by: Darvi on June 10, 2011, 02:06:10 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on June 10, 2011, 02:12:00 pm
Never mind, goblin siege retreating apparently.
Even they're scared of this place.
Post by: Andreus on June 10, 2011, 02:49:47 pm
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-13.png)
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-14.png)
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-15.png)
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-16.png)
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-17.png)
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-18.png)
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-19.png)
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-20.png)
Post by: Glacial on June 10, 2011, 03:11:46 pm
I think you should kill all the FBs. That'll make an impact.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on June 10, 2011, 03:14:31 pm
That's a mighty fine table!
I think you should kill all the FBs. That'll make an impact.
Is there so much to kill left, anyway? Did we have a buildup I didn't hear of? I got the place pretty clean on my turn... Eh, it happens.
Anyway - what can I say what hasn't been said? Very revelant table, enjoy the tantrums...
Post by: EmeraldWind on June 10, 2011, 09:07:17 pm
It's a shame its winding down, but it must sight to behold.
Post by: Darkmere on June 10, 2011, 11:16:41 pm
Post by: Takuanuva on June 11, 2011, 05:02:58 am
You know, I upgraded the whole trade edntrance to make it siegeproof. The only way you could cause so much deaths is by trying to kill the goblins with our untrained soldiers or by opening the north entrance, which should have been sealed long ago. Or both.
Post by: Darvi on June 11, 2011, 05:05:06 am
Also there's a few prisoners.UOTY.
Post by: Scaraban on June 11, 2011, 05:06:17 am
Post by: Andreus on June 11, 2011, 09:18:40 am
I've gotten to Late Summer but nothing of note has really happened yet.
Post by: Teneb on June 11, 2011, 11:24:33 am
Post by: NightmareBros on June 11, 2011, 11:49:21 am
Quote
How many corpses are lying around?This is Battlefailed. You'll have to define the type of corpse before anyone could answer this because there are that many dead bodies everywhere. Mostly due to people who are supposed to be hauling going on break 24/7. Or catching a deadly plaugue or a nice bath from FAILCANNON.
Post by: Andreus on June 11, 2011, 02:51:54 pm
Human caravan from Gil Thinir arrived.
The merchants need a trade depot to unload their goods.
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-11.png)
Human caravan from Gil Thinir no longer requires a trade depot to unload their goods.
Post by: tryrar on June 11, 2011, 06:49:08 pm
13th Galena, 532
Human caravan from Gil Thinir arrived.
The merchants need a trade depot to unload their goods.
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-11.png)
Human caravan from Gil Thinir no longer requires a trade depot to unload their goods.
.....it is posts like these that make me remember why I play this game. LOL!
Post by: Zeocin on June 12, 2011, 02:21:54 am
17th Slate, 532
Some migrants have arrived. Poor fools.
I can't find the lever that opens the gate. I'm not even entirely sure where exactly the gate is.
They're going to starve to death. Kind of ironic, really. Queen Led's plan is working - dwarves turn up here, and then they die.
19th Slate, 532
Oh, no, wait, they're not going to starve to death. They're going to be eviscerated by the local wilddeath.
I see they've met the welcoming committee. Always such thoughtful fellows.
This is looking very nice so far, despite the dauntingness of the task!
Post by: Andreus on June 12, 2011, 05:35:49 pm
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-34.png)
20th Opal, 532
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-35.png)
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-36.png)
24th Opal, 532
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-37.png)
So the dwarves have taken to naming artifacts after themeselves now. Interesting. But more interesting however...
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-38.png)
This grate depicts Lur Thiefwitch. Most interesting. Most interesting indeed.
Post by: Darvi on June 12, 2011, 05:40:41 pm
Post by: Andreus on June 12, 2011, 08:11:11 pm
I've realised something.
I think I should have realised it at lot sooner.
Each of us, dwarves, elves, humans, even goblins, we are individuals. We have our own preferred hairstyles, preferences for colours and materials, dreams and desires, hopes and fears. We have our own aptitudes, our own talents, our own skills. And yet, none of that matters, in the grand scheme of things, until we come to places like this. In the Mountainhomes, we sleepwalk through life waiting to be sent to somewhere like this. None of what we are truly matters until it is tested. We are brought to this place, sometimes kicking and screaming, and yet we never truly come alive until we are here.
Across the ages, I've lived as many, many dwarves, but also humans, elves, goblins - even great creatures with the heads of wolves in a few universes. I've lived and died a thousand times, but I've never realised this one truth.
These places, these monuments of hardship, suffering and sacrifice - they are not a curse. They are a gift. Because only in surviving in them do we learn who we truly are.
I am at peace.
Current Save (http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/Failcannon-S533.rar)
Post by: Ahrimahn on June 12, 2011, 09:00:49 pm
1st Granite, 533
I've realised something.
I think I should have realised it at lot sooner.
Each of us, dwarves, elves, humans, even goblins, we are individuals.
Current Save (http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/Failcannon-S533.rar)
I'm not!
Post by: Andreus on June 12, 2011, 10:51:11 pm
I'm not!
Shhhhh!
Post by: Darvi on June 13, 2011, 04:10:54 am
Post by: Chessrook44 on June 13, 2011, 10:24:31 am
"YES! WE'RE ALL INDIVIDUALS!!!!"
Post by: kisame12794 on June 13, 2011, 10:27:45 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on June 13, 2011, 09:27:17 pm
Post by: malkomk on June 13, 2011, 09:45:43 pm
Downloading now. Pray to the dwarven gods I don't royally mess up, because I most probably will.
Ah well. That's what Dwarf Fortress is all about. :D
Post by: malkomk on June 14, 2011, 12:33:47 pm
Journal of Arvada the Enchanter
1st Granite
It has happened. Andreus, our mayor for the past year, has finally resigned. And no-one knows who will be the next mayor.
This night I felt the walls between the worlds thinning. Something is coming. Something unknowably dark is coming. This is the Doom. As I watched the stars above us, one winked out.
Somehow, the greatest powers are converging on this hell hole of a fortress. For what reason, I do not know. But it remains plain that somehow, this place is fated to be the centerpoint in some great battle that is part of the destiny of this world. I must escape before that happens. Somehow, I need to gather the materials needed to create an arcane portal between the worlds, and escape.
3rd Granite
I have decided to take up the mantel of Mayor of Failcannon. We still have not found anyone else willing, and it is probably the best way to get what I need - adamantine for one. An adamant sword should do nicely. Properly enchanted, it can cut a path across the dimensions for me. Other materials I will need as well, but Failcannon shall - must - provide.
But first, I need to figure out a good way to convince the rowdy dwarves to get me my adamantine. I must think on this. There has to be some way...
Post by: Takuanuva on June 14, 2011, 01:20:50 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Teneb on June 14, 2011, 05:02:09 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: malkomk on June 16, 2011, 01:55:44 pm
LOL @ Takuanuva
Post by: Darvi on June 16, 2011, 01:57:22 pm
Post by: malkomk on June 16, 2011, 10:59:22 pm
The Journal of Arvada the Enchanter (continued)
4th of Granite
Armok knows, this place is an utter hellhole. So much junk everywhere. I despair of ever getting it cleaned during my time in office. There was even a donkey skeleton on the dining room stairs. The dining room stairs, for Armok's sake! How could I not have noticed this before I took office? Blood everywhere... carcasses on the stairs... I despair of ever getting it clean. Ah well. I shall be leaving it behind before the year is out, if all goes well.
The person who masterminded this has got to be some kind of Armok-cursed maddwarf. For instance, the gate design. Who in his right mind would build a bridge, OVER DRY LAND, instead of digging a trench, which is both quicker, easier, and more effective?!
There are a ton of caged prisoners. Mostly filthy goblins, but I saw a troll. He could be useful in my magical rituals. For the rest, a suitably amusing end should be devised.
We seem to be pretty well done by for food and drink. I asked the bookkeeper, and we have over a thousand individual plump helmets. Why he must count them one by one I don't know, but at least I do know how many we have.
I fear, however, that the other dwarves shall be bored by endless courses of plump helmet. I must consider a kitchen industry, and some sun berry farms shouldn't be amiss. My first orders: dig out a big cavern in the sand under the gate. It must be kept strictly clean, even though the rest of the fortress might be in shambles.
5th of Granite
The miners are not digging out the cavern. I reprimanded them, only to be told that they couldn't seem to find their way to where I wanted it dug.
I can't blame them. Pathfinding in Failcannon is like fighting a bronze colossus with your bare hands. Only more so.
(OOC: I'm afraid I don't feel like doing any more tonight. :( I'll try and make a nice large update tomorrow.)
Post by: Conan on June 16, 2011, 11:38:14 pm
Post by: Dariush on June 17, 2011, 03:40:43 am
Pathfinding in Failcannon is like fighting a bronze colossus with your bare hands. Only more so.I lol'd.
Post by: Mekboy on June 17, 2011, 06:55:28 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: SethCreiyd on June 17, 2011, 04:51:01 pm
These places, these monuments of hardship, suffering and sacrifice - they are not a curse. They are a gift. Because only in surviving in them do we learn who we truly are.
Sig please. Eric Blank beat me to the madhouse by madmen quote. :-[
Those three artifacts have me considering the "DF is sentient" arguments. Dangleglitters is just creepy.
Post by: cignus on June 18, 2011, 09:26:35 am
if you do i want Cignus to be in the name u can do what u want with the name but have cignus init. oh and im currently reading the battlefaild 1 game wow just WOW!
Post by: malkomk on June 18, 2011, 07:58:29 pm
Also, what profession of dwarf do you want?
Also, hope to have a small update out today. I can pass the save in its current state along to the next player if you feel I'm not delivering enough.
Post by: Eric Blank on June 18, 2011, 10:24:49 pm
Post by: malkomk on June 18, 2011, 11:33:08 pm
Alright. I'll try to do this. Please, though, don't expect daily, page-length updates or anything. I have a ton of other things going on now, and I need to organize. So, here's the idea: I'll try and play for 10-15 minutes or more at some point in the day, and then post a diary update of it, perhaps with images if I'm in the mood. If I'm in the mood, I might play more. If I'm tired out, I might play less or not at all.
That's it. Enjoy yourselves, ladies and gentlemen...
Post by: Zeocin on June 19, 2011, 02:05:05 am
I was going to skip but after seeing your post...
Alright. I'll try to do this. Please, though, don't expect daily, page-length updates or anything. I have a ton of other things going on now, and I need to organize. So, here's the idea: I'll try and play for 10-15 minutes or more at some point in the day, and then post a diary update of it, perhaps with images if I'm in the mood. If I'm in the mood, I might play more. If I'm tired out, I might play less or not at all.
That's it. Enjoy yourselves, ladies and gentlemen...
And that, sounds great. Thank you!
Post by: Elderont on June 19, 2011, 08:10:19 am
Post by: Eric Blank on June 21, 2011, 12:49:47 pm
Post by: malkomk on June 21, 2011, 03:03:28 pm
Post by: malkomk on June 22, 2011, 12:19:10 am
After telling the would-be farm miners where to cut through a wall that kept them away from their work, I began examining the latest maps of Failcannon, hoping to find where the adamantine is. Although interrupted by a farmer who told me we were out of seeds (a small consideration, we have much plump helmet in storage) I ran across an elaborate structure. Searching through the Failcannon notes, I found a single notice referring to the central part of the construction, a stairwell.
DEAD DWARF STORAGE.
I'm beginning to think that Failcannon is not as glorious a place as all the dwarves living in it say. If we need something this big for dead dwarf storage... dead dwarf storage... so disrespectful. But then, of course, I'm not a dwarf, I'm a... entity.
Dead dwarf storage. The words have a nice ring to them, I think.
10th of Granite
I think we need some more dead dwarf storage. A dwarf ran screaming into my office in the midst of further searches, gabbing something about a ghost.
(http://i.imgur.com/8WbTF.png)
I shall not bother myself with such petty matters. The ghost can go to Armok's hellpits for all I could care.
*later*
In my searches, I've come across a vein of gold that, while mined, is apparently just... sitting there. Not being used. Some pure gold, while not as attuned as adamantine, could be handy in my spells.
11th of Granite
Found some silver, still in its vein. Not magically significant enough to bother with. I continue.
13th of Granite
Cog Something-Or-Other is under attack from a skeletal horse. He's apparently a miner, and could be valuable. No idea what he was doing out in the open. I ordered one of our three (small) militia squads after the horse. They might kill it, they might not. It matters little in the grand scheme of things.
(OOC: And here I close, 'cause it's late. I have the satisfaction of knowing I actually did an update today. :) )
Post by: Ahrimahn on June 22, 2011, 11:28:31 pm
Post by: Correctedsun on June 23, 2011, 04:21:06 am
Post by: Eric Blank on June 27, 2011, 08:53:23 pm
Post by: LordSlowpoke on June 28, 2011, 12:34:31 pm
I'm beginning to wonder if this is completely dead... Where are our amazing updates? hilarious comments? Posts?
In the DEAD DWARF STORAGE. That's where. I'm proud of placing that note.
Post by: Takuanuva on June 28, 2011, 02:23:40 pm
I'm beginning to wonder if this is completely dead... Where are our amazing updates? hilarious comments? Posts?If it's dead...
Then we will raise it from the dead!
WITH !!SCIENCE!! (and magma)!
Post by: Sutremaine on June 28, 2011, 10:07:54 pm
13th Galena, 532Someone said it already, but... I love this post.
Human caravan from Gil Thinir arrived.
The merchants need a trade depot to unload their goods.
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Failcannon/532-11.png)
Human caravan from Gil Thinir no longer requires a trade depot to unload their goods.
Post by: malkomk on June 28, 2011, 11:08:48 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on June 29, 2011, 10:01:19 pm
Post by: Correctedsun on July 01, 2011, 02:25:30 am
Post by: malkomk on July 02, 2011, 04:12:59 pm
Post by: NightmareBros on July 02, 2011, 04:50:51 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on July 03, 2011, 01:38:28 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on July 03, 2011, 08:49:20 pm
Post by: Sinpwn on July 04, 2011, 09:09:58 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on July 05, 2011, 03:40:02 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on July 05, 2011, 04:08:01 pm
1st Granite
I have become the new leader of this prodigious fort, I have never had something of this scale handed to me. My first impression is what is wrong with this place where do I open the door!.
What happened to this fort? it seems like the greatness of its precursor Battlefailed has died even when we can see it just across the water from us people living there after some madman decided to rebuild it. The best part is though *BOOOOOOOM* (The fort crashed the second i unpaused it any advice on how to fix this?
Post by: Remalle on July 05, 2011, 09:52:06 pm
Post by: Ahrimahn on July 06, 2011, 01:45:24 pm
...I think you mean Battlefailed, not Boatmurdered?
[/quote
Yeah i did i cant even excuse it as a joke about the technical failure.
Post by: Norngremlin on July 07, 2011, 12:59:01 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 07, 2011, 07:43:32 am
Post by: Keltiknight on July 07, 2011, 01:04:29 pm
Post by: Conan on July 07, 2011, 09:38:13 pm
Maybe I could bring my non-fun qualities to this fort to hopefully add -fun. Depending on your view.
Post by: Ahrimahn on July 08, 2011, 01:25:15 am
Post by: Michael_Almeida on July 08, 2011, 08:59:06 pm
I'd like to be a male axedwarf/woodcutter, called 'boozedorf'.
Post by: malkomk on July 09, 2011, 12:07:58 am
I am such a pushover.
Post by: BrilliantGnome on July 09, 2011, 07:17:56 pm
name: BrilTheGnome
Job: some kind of engineering, or if there's enough engineers, swordsdwarf with a big sword (two-handed, if you can get one)
Job name: SteamPunk if engineer. Mr. Soul Reaper if swordsdwarf
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 10, 2011, 11:29:06 am
Post by: arcangelsd on July 10, 2011, 03:22:21 pm
I'll very glad to be dorfed, any Dwarf will serve, name.. arcangelsd
Also I want a turn. And I swear to Armok i'll be there to play it when required.
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 11, 2011, 03:10:10 pm
So yeah, Granite has passed and so far only two dwarves have died. I'll try to get the dwarfings done tonight and start an update. I want to try and renovate the place a bit and organize things. I want to improve fps too and deal with a few other problems we have.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2cknqt.jpg)
Every single dwarf is going into the militia, so let me know if you'd like a specific weapon. The default is a silver hammer/crossbow.
Edit: I meant 'godforsaken mess' in the most affectionate way.
Post by: Scaraban on July 11, 2011, 04:44:19 pm
Post by: LordSlowpoke on July 11, 2011, 05:07:15 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on July 11, 2011, 05:27:42 pm
I would prefer a steel axe, if any happen to be lying around. Next best I think is iron...
Ensure that you make enough shields for the populace and strip those goblins! Sparring!
Nice to see this game can finally grind forward like an old sherman tank would if left out under the open sky for the last 60 to 70 years.
Post by: rridgway on July 11, 2011, 06:45:35 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 11, 2011, 09:27:47 pm
If I'm gonna be a militiadorf, can you give me a war hammer, and a crossbow with the profession of Mechanic (even though he's a militiadorf) and name me "That Aussie Dwarf" (or ThatAussie if there's a char limit) with the title "The Troubleshooter"
Post by: Sinpwn on July 11, 2011, 09:30:20 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on July 12, 2011, 08:32:23 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 13, 2011, 02:31:52 am
The child god Thoth lay deep in thought, back against the tree with a conjured cloak wrapped around him to block out the cold. Though no normal earthly element could give any deity pause, a deep and evil wind now coursed through all realities, and even this secret place could not avoid them. Enshrouded in the mist before him floated the great Seeing Eye, an item Thoth had none-too-gently coerced into a wider, more blood-shot gaze some time ago. It had seemed to him that one shouldn't be able to see wider than infinitely into infinity, but that was before he did so.
He couldn't forget what he saw, but was nonetheless able to sew the eyelids together using a few conjured strands of metal with his own eyes shut, through divine sense of sound. Still, the visions plagued his memory, spreading throughout like hatching brood of mnemonic spiders. His paranoia hit a breakthrough by the sudden telltale pulse of a wormhole invading his world, but a radiating calmness hit him almost as quickly. The Goddess Kigok Pokercook had come to visit, and she hurried into a briefing.
The worlds are falling closer together," she said, crossing the grass toward him. "The Shadow is everywhere. "Few worlds remain where the nighttime is not theirs. Ura still holds command of the Sanctum."
"I know." Thoth stared dully at the ground. "Soon gods will position for whatever scraps of power Ura will allow and we'll all be bartering with mortals, if we survive."
Kigok regarded the godling. "You're growing up fast," she said.
"Fast enough to know when I'm being patronized." Thoth glared at the mystical eyeball he'd inherited. "That's why you gave me this crummy job, isn't it? Stare at the mortals, Thoth, and never lift a finger to help! Well, I know more than you think, and I think more than I used to."
Kigok looked off at a tree in the distance. "You are doing your job exactly as expected. I'm aware that you assassinated that mortal several years ago." Thoth betrayed his surprise, but Kigok was smiling. "The Watcher of Worlds is expected to break the Rules every now and again," she whispered. "This is why we allowed Lur's treachery for as long as we did. You need to know exactly what to do and when to do it."
Thoth gave a hard look at the eyeball, then back at Kigok. "Do you know what happens when Failcannon crumbles?" The godling waved his hands in an arc. "Nothing. There will be nothing left. We may all vanish."
"But here we still are." The goddess looked around. "There is still hope."
"Not for long." Thoth sullenly returned his gaze to the ground. "Lur is about to be roasted alive by an elf. If he dies before reaching Failcannon, we're finished."
"Lur Thiefwitch is about to arrive right on time," Kigok said. "You should pay closer attention to things going on!"
"What?" Thoth reached for the eyeball, but found it already floating up to his face. "You mean the Sorcerer's gambit? That will never work, the ritual is a dud."
"See for yourself," Kigok winked before disappearing in a rainbow cloud of flowers and butterflies. Her voiced lingered on. "The rules are always changing."
Into the mist of time and space the Watcher peered...
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2rdygly.png)
"The moon will be reaching its apex in thirty seconds!" Glacial yelled from beyond the small room in which Andreus was waiting. Fixed on the floor was a thick, shining chain engraved with a series of shifting runes. A few specks of blood and other less identifiable substances were spattered across the floor.
"This is it," the Magister rubbed his hands together. "This is the last idea I've got, and if it doesn't work I intend to just finish the weapon and call it a lifetime."
"I wanted to ask you about that!" Glacial called out. "There's what, fifty reactors down there, how the hell are they supposed-"
"Not now!" Andreus shouted back. "Time to apex?"
A moment, then: "Eleven seconds!"
"On my mark!" Andreus cried. "Five... four..."
Glacial threw the lever at Andreus' command. The entire room lit up with a golden glow that nearly blinded the Magister, who fell to his back, feeling sick. Resisting the urge to vomit, he peered up into the fading glow and saw a naked old dwarf now shackled to the glistening chain.
"Lur?" he ventured. "Lur Thiefwitch?"
There was no response from the dwarf, who looked unconscious. Andreus approached and reached for a flask of sunshine at his side poured it into the dwarf's mouth. Glacial entered the room and peered back and forth between them. "Did it work?" he said.
The dwarf opened his eyes. "Where am I?" he rasped.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2anmrn.png)
"Lur, is that you?" Andreus stepped back.
The dwarf looked at them, nodding slightly. "Who are you?" he asked. He scanned the room. "Where am I? Where is the elf?"
"There is no elf," Andreus said. "You are in Failcannon. We've called you here because--"
"Failcannon!" the dwarf looked amazed. "Quickly, miss. You must bring me to Andreus! Or whatever he calls himself now!"
"This is Andreus!" Glacial beamed proudly, pointing at his mentor. The Magister's smile froze into pace.
Lur looked confused. "No, Andreus is..." Lur stared ahead, realization taking form on his features.
"Hello, Lur."
"You!" Lur cried suddenly. "This is all your fault!"
"My fault!" Andreus crossed his arms. "How can any of this be my fault?"
"You've been displacing souls, you lunatic!" Lur rolled to the floor, still enchained, and started inching across the floor toward the Magister.
"The chain appears to have bound your power," Andreus contemplated, "since you haven't pulled the worm-on-a-hook trick yet."
"I don't have any power to begin with, dolt! And it's your fault! So let me out of these chains so I can strangle you with them."
"You have no powers?" Andreus rubbed his chin. "How did this come to be?" Glacial rolled Lur onto his back and started unfastening the chains. "What are you doing?" he asked his apprentice.
"You can't treat a God like this," Glacial said. "Sorry, sir."
"Atta boy, lad!" Lur grinned malevolently at Andreus. "I'm sorry about having to kill your friend here and all."
"Wait a minute!" Andreus held up a hand. "Can't killing me wait? We're facing a problem of some magnitude here. I need information, and you need some booze, if I'm right."
Lur stood up and let the chains clatter to the floor. "All right then, lets have a few words. Just words for now. And more of that flask, if you will."
Andreus tossed him the sunshine and called out to Glacial, "Bring clothes!" The Magister stepped across the room to a table and lifted a stack of notes
"Not like it all matters." Lur emptied the flask into his throat and threw it to the floor. "I kill you, you get some other body and we're all doomed anyway."
"About that. I've heard the astral talk," hissed Andreus. "I refuse to accept that the body-switching technique I've used for thousands of years has suddenly inspired the death of reality. What's really going on? Why are you here? Why are you... wrinkled?"
Lur sighed. He was mortal now. Unbound by any cosmic law, he was free to share what he knew, and he knew he needed the Sorcerer's help.
"Do you remember the book you had found, the first time you died? Yes, of course you do. Taught you some new tricks, eh? Well, it brought Death into the realm of mortals. Some of the gods wanted your soul destroyed. Others vowed to protect you, saying you were innocent. It was quite a scene. You were sent back before the argument swelled, and so Ura's secrets spilled into the world, and that meant the world was hers to roam, unbound by the edicts of non-interference. But it didn't stop there, with one world. There were so many worlds, Sorcerer, so many you carried the secret into, that Ura's domain grew too vast. And in every world, she conspired with the forces of the Shadow to stretch her reach even further."
Lur sighed. "But then you came to Battlefailed with that ill-fated court servant, because you had been here before, was that it? This is where you landed in Aluonra, and the local undeath fascinated you so. But this is the place where Death entered into this world, and she has closed shut her gates. Every dwarf that dies here - or is displaced by magic - their soul is at the mercy of the shadows all around. And Ura gets stronger. The Queen Led worships her, you know. Why do you think she is sending dwarves here? Why do you think Fetus Smashing Day exists? The Philosophers were coming close to the truth, so she had them executed. She is feeding her Goddess and building an army.
"There are now creatures of the night invading nearly every world, and judging by the look of the sky, the displaced souls will soon run out of places to go. Ghosts will wander the world and corpses will soon start to walk. And soon Aluonra blinks out of existence. So there you have it. By allowing you back to life I thought to prevent civil war, but it seems to have only delayed it. When the gods go to battle, this will be the first place destroyed. There will be no new bodies to jump to, not dwarf, human or beast. And since I'm a mortal now, we can get to the dying together."
Andreus broke the silence that followed after a minute. "What can we do to prevent this? The world's existed too long to stop now."
"I can't remember."
The Magister frowned. "You can't remember what?"
"I know I had to reach Failcannon," Lur frowned. "But for what reason..."
Andreus looked up at the ceiling. "Have you seen the stars lately?" he asked.
"The stars are just faraway worlds," Lur said. "They're so far away that we only see what they looked like a long time ago. If the stars are going out, it means something is standing in their way."
Andreus looked puzzled. "Something is blocking the stars from the sky?"
"You don't want to know what."
There was a rumbling in the room next to them. "Do you hear something?" Andreus asked.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2m7gm07.png)
The door to the room burst open and a towering two-legged lizard stomped inside, immediately grabbed Andreus, and savaged him mercilessly.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
When the beast had finished beating the Sorcerer's lifeless body, it turned its predatory gaze on Lur.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Its bloodlust somewhat satiated, the beast let out a trimphant roar and stamped its clawed and rotting feet upon its victims corpses. Outside the house, the dwarves of Failcannon casually locked the doors and went about their business.
* * *
Journal of 'Seth' Evonoltar, Overseer of Failcannon
Granite 6
It's seems the previous three applicants have turned down the job of running this place, and I can't say I blame them, now that I've got here. Between the smell of the stinking sea and the aroma of rotting flesh permeating the first two floors I almost vomited on the way inside. As I passed through the gate, I wondered how any defensive walls like ours were actually still standing, and my first act as Overseer was to expand on them.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/xpakcl.png)
A job's a job and it's my job to clean this place up and provide managerial know-how to our work force. It'll be an effort, but there are many able dwarves and vast hordes of resources to use. I've heard it's easy to die here at Failcannon, but we certainly won't ever starve to death, and the booze is plentiful.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/ohpxjp.png)
The easy to die part would nonetheless seem to ring true, given the number of coffins in our burial
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2uzb1wn.png)
They're a pretty personable bunch, really, but they don't seem to realize they're dead. We'll have to get around to memorializing them one of these days.
Anyway, my tour of the fort's local landmarks was brief and guided by a surly looking fellow named breadbocks, who first showed me the Dwarven Effigy of the Cat Piss Ocean:
(http://i54.tinypic.com/efnlus.png)
The Children's Petting Zoo:
(http://i52.tinypic.com/bdrv9i.png)
The Local Prison:
(http://i56.tinypic.com/345y9g7.png)
The Cove of Disease and its poison-covered trees:
(http://i52.tinypic.com/21b3mnb.png)
And of course, the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/j13qk5.png)
By the time we reached the Laboratory I was ready to call it a day. Whatever it means by contaminants, it gives me chills.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2bv9zl.png)
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2bqwbq.png)
I made it to my quarters feeling accomplished with the decision to accept this assignment. I don't think it will be easy falling asleep here, but I figure there's no need to rush anything.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/k3afsx.png)
Granite 16
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2lopza.png)
Our Mayor Dariush was badly injured during a construction accident on the new wall structure. I feel pretty guilty about that, but he really shouldn't have tried building a floor off a bridge.
I've had the strangest feeling of dread all day long. I can't quite put my finger on it.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Slate 2
(http://i54.tinypic.com/xknl8x.png)
Diplomat? There was a Diplomat here? I'm sorry, I was too busy starting at the
(http://i53.tinypic.com/o8dxro.png)
That's odd. I seem to have blacked out there for a moment. I'm just so happy right now. Adamantine's the best.
Slate 20
Migrants have arrived, not a moment too soon. Productivity is severely lacking since one of the previous Overseers came up with a completely harebrained employment scheme I only recently noticed now that we need strand extractors. I've been spending my days re-assigning jobs to workers capable of doing them.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2pdvs.png)
Some goblin meathead tried to kidnap a baby, so the marksdwarves shot it to the floor. The goblin, not the baby. In this fort one has to specify.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/mmub1z.png)
The goblin was right in the middle of our fort, amidst a stockpile of food so massive it would take all of us six years to move anywhere. I wasn't kidding when I said we had food. I'm suspending our farming operations to spare up the dwarfpower we need to renovate. There are a lot of new novice masons running 'round Failcannon these days.
Where was I? Oh yeah, how exactly did that goblin get so far into our fort undetected? Come on guys. I know that no one's a seasoned soldier except for Tupu, but *somebody* should have noticed the creepy little green thing with the furry sack was out of place. And I'm trusting my life to these people!
Anyway, the new Captain of the Guard chopped the goblin in half and celebrated by adopting a kitten that somehow hadn't been slaughtered beforehand. Allowing this to take place should be labelled a crime.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/20jl2fn.png)
Browsing the death records today. Our entire population has been completely replaced so often this entire place is essentially one great mortuary.
Slate 28
Several weeks ago when we drafted all able adults into the town militia, there were some calls of concern, but the benefits of arming the population pay dividends.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/bi1afc.png)
A recent thief was dispatched by a meek farmer with minimal cost of time or attention, and the farmer feels just thrilled with himself.
Felsite 1
(http://i56.tinypic.com/so8rio.png)
A child has taken control of a craftshop I was planning to engrave slabs with. I hope the little blighter goes crazy, myself, but I've grudgingly told the dwarves to cut some gems for him since that will probably get him out of the way quicker. It was today I learned we have exactly one skilled jeweler in the entire fort, who'd been made a miner despite having no skill next to our five legendary miners. Alternatively. there are six farmers walking around claiming to be jewelers. Every day it's some new marvel to behold.
Felsite 2
(http://i52.tinypic.com/ngeygz.png)
Damn it all. I wish we had some kitten rot to spare.
Felsite 3
(http://i52.tinypic.com/maymap.png)
Ah for the love of Lur
We're under attack by goblins. Tupu and boozedwarf tell me there's nothing to worry about. Easy to say when you're carrying the good weapons. I need to get my hands on one of those maces the guards are running around with.
I have some concern for a miner who is trapped outside our closed gate. I have no idea why he chose to drink from a barrel that was inexplicably left outside on the beach, but now he's got to pay for that foolishness.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2v3o28y.png)
Fortunately for Iggy, most of the goblins were more interested in rushing our heavily trapped trade entrance than in crushing a hapless drunk.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2u4r69v.jpg)
Still, goblins are goblins and you can't expect every single goblin to just follow orders and stick with the pack, so a couple of them inevitably wandered over to go say hello. Well, Iggy didn't like being interrupted one bit, and he gave them a piece of his mind.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/eoml5.png)
The second hadn't gotten the hint after Iggy had disemboweled the first, so he went and taught that one some manners too.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2ns3vc9.png)
I was up in the Third Hand's tower trying to get a better view when I noticed Iggy wasn't the only one out there. I then noticed that there are indeed some drawbacks to arming the general population.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/246rn8k.png)
Poor dwarves never stood a chance.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/xoiqf5.png)
I tried to mobilize the marksdwarf squad, only to learn that there are no bolts in the entire fort. No bolts, despite literal tons of silver at our disposal as we wade ankle deep in the bones of a thousand creatures. Well, I found a couple of workshops that were literally nothing but a pile of bones and ashes in the courtyard and ordered our bolt makers to work for a damn living.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/143kwtz.png)
Felsite 8
Goblins been out there almost a week. Bolts taking too god damn long.
Felsite 16
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2utloq1.png)
Today LAAT found a kobold thief in the equipment room. The kobold won't be walking away from here with any treasure. Or anywhere, with anything.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/27x49pe.png)
Goblins are still outside. Bolts aren't ready yet. A cat gave birth two days ago and the kittens were promptly turned into scraps of leather.
Felsite 19
(http://i55.tinypic.com/91h4c0.png)
LAAT has been torturing the kobold for three days. We now consider him a Skilled Wrestler. Goblins are still out there. Bolts still aren't ready.
Felsite 20
(http://i56.tinypic.com/10zuu8l.png)
A mason who'd been drafted into the militia thought that "Picking up equipment" somehow entailed marching straight through the trade entrance into the waiting mass of goblins there. The bridge has been raised, since most of our unwelcome visitors have already passed beyond it and I'm trying to assuage any further suicides, like the one Glacial was about to commit before a kobold sneak interrupted him.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2e338g3.png)
The bolts still aren't finished. What the blazes is taking so long?
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2zdvo1k.png)
Felsite 21
I've had enough of these goblins. They aren't advancing through the trapped corridor any longer, so I decided to pull the Stock Market Crash lever and send them all careening to their doom.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/ea33sz.png)
Two pillars collapsed. Two pillars. Absolutely no goblins were injured. It's nice to know we have to connect all those pillars to the lever, now that we could have used them. Since our last secret weapon has proved an utter failure, we now have to rely on our military might.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2hxc710.png)
Wow, I'll be praying for this bunch. At least Tupu knows what he's doing. That hammer of his could knock a mountain aside.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2vm8t2o.png)
The soldiers gathered at one end of the trade corridor, staring down the goblins at the far side.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/r8we8x.png)
They exchanged sneers, then, as Tupu raised his hammer, the dwarves charged forth. The goblins seemed unsure about moving amidst the cage traps and held their ground against the attack.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/24fbcyf.png)
I couldn't see the battle in those halls, and I know only what I heard.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I know that at the end of the day there were twenty-six cheering dwarves and a hundred sniveling goblins in cages, all coated in the blood of their fellows. All in all, a good day.
No elves came to trade on account of our goblin problem. The year is off to a fantastic start!
Hematite 1
(http://i51.tinypic.com/24fxxlg.png)
These ghosts are getting problematic. I'd like to do something about it, but we have our hands full at the moment.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/351fk00.png)
I considered two pressing issues: on one hand, a multitude of goblin prisoners, and a great deal of bones and body parts that for whatever reason, these dwarves will not use for any craft. Now, no self-respecting dwarf would butcher and carve up a sentient being, say, a goblin, just to work with its bones. However, if some sort of natural force - say a long fall - were to result in said goblin exploding apart, well, they would take no real issue with that.
I am happy to announce having killed two birds with one stone, by killing many goblins with a series of shovings. The Third Hand's Tower was recently finished for this purpose. We stopped adding full walls at the eighth story and settled for silver floors held up by golden supports, which go up for nine more stories. The goblin bone helmets and bolts and blocks in our future will aid us for generations.
We're speed-butchering goblins at a rate of about ten per day. Dwarves with a weak stomach are advised to stay clear of the area and its impending miasma. There are so many fragments of bodies I tried to tell the workers not to worry about cleaning them, but this is apparently already the standing order.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2nap92u.png)
Makes sense, after all, you can only encounter so much filth before giving up on confronting it.
* * *
Meanwhile, Andreus the Ageless Wizard acquires a new form.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/3090yfm.png)
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 13, 2011, 02:43:43 am
Post by: LordSlowpoke on July 13, 2011, 04:39:24 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 13, 2011, 05:16:30 am
Only in this Armok-forsaken place we would get an FB running in from literally nowhere, then killing two dwarves, with the others locking the double doors and calling it a day. One of said dwarves dosen't mind and puts himself in another body, too. Highly improbable.
They're all probably so far beyond "Doesn't really care about anything anymore" that if you slaughtered them all to a single dwarf, the last one would be more annoyed about the sudden lack of food and weapons being made than the deaths of his friends and family.
Post by: Dariush on July 14, 2011, 07:37:32 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 14, 2011, 07:38:43 am
The Axe Murderer, The PAINBRINGER, The Soap Maker, The Dancing Dagger. Spot the odd one out.
The Dancing Dagger, obviously. It's an item while the others are jobs
Post by: Teneb on July 14, 2011, 01:00:44 pm
The Soap MakerBeware his deadly soap!
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 15, 2011, 11:56:34 am
"The usual," Andreus shrugged. He was holding a stick of chalk before a slate wall covered in mathematical sigils. Glacial set the enormous book down on a stone table with a thud and looked over at the defaced wall. "Vicious bipedal lizard hidden away in the house, probably by its former psychotic occupant. But there is still time to save the God of Jealousy." Andreus marched to the soggy book and threw it open, rifled through the clumped-together pages.
"I had to look everywhere for it," Glacial said. "Lucus' tomb is a mess. What did you need from it?"
"There was a period when Lucus began talking of communion with the gods," Andreus said, scanning the open page with a fingertip. "Some considered him a prophet. At the time I wagged it off as nonsense, but now..." He found a line, squinted at it.
"What is it?" Glacial asked. He felt unnerved, as he always did when one of them had a new body. The change was a thing to get used to.
Andreus looked up at his apprentice. "Well."
"Well what?"
"What he describes... the things he writes of strike a familiar vein." The magister turned to the book and read aloud. "Fell sorceries, very dark. But here: 'You have seen before you what the future holds... Pave the way for one who can fix the Seal.'"
"What's that exactly mean?"
"I'm not sure. But I have a few ideas." Andreus returned to the slate wall. "I need Thiefwitch back here, body or no! I need more answers. We'd barely time to speak ere the Gods thought to mock us once again."
"Can't you bring him back?"
"I'm not sure. I do expect his spirit to linger. With care I can prevent the shade from wandering anywhere, but it's proving tricky."
"Why tricky?" Glacial tried to decipher the cryptic symbols on the wall. "You've brought me back what, three times now? And half this place once before."
"It's different now. Something's missing." The Magister resumed chalking the wall, pausing to rub his beard. "I can detect the spirit's presence, not the location."
"Maybe you should die again and go look for him," Glacial suggested. Andreus stared at him.
* * *
Journal of 'Seth' Evonoltar, Overseer of Failcannon, excerpts
Malachite 1
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vaxcuu.png)
Some migrants with a death wish have arrived. They were conscripted as masons and metalsmiths and handed our crummiest weapons, of which we are increasing our supply. I want everyone over twelve years of age to be armed by Dwarfmas.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/saz0jp.png)
We're also making silver spikes to install in various deathtraps in strategic locations throughout the fort. If I had my way they'd be magma-heated mixed with lead and sprinkled with lye. Sounds nice, but too time consuming. Perhaps if there's time later I'll soak them in the lake of disease I keep hearing about.
Malachite 3
Brushing through the records of old Battlefailed, I came across the design for a weapon that the designer never lived to see function. If we are to properly represent the legacy we've inherited, it is essential we have some similar device.
In the lower levels of the fortress there is the framework for a massive power reactor, whose purpose I presume was to pump large amounts of liquid to the surface, possibly magma or the fetid stagnant ocean beneath us. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find the original engineer, who has completely disappeared. I'm told that this happens to dwarves here occasionally, they go off and are simply never heard from again. That's just the type of place this is.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/11meq8g.png)
I tell you, whenever I have to walk around by myself, I keep a spare hand on the axe.
Anyway, the reactor is an important part of the greater defense structure, but for now I've been guiding our efforts toward the establishment of immediate perimeter defense. All the power we need will be given to us by the winds and the sea. Unfortunately again, there's been a slight hitch in the plan.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/25a83yr.png)
Living on a beach affords us little access to wood, and the trees we do have are hidden in caves which I'm told no dwarf should ever unearth. Naturally I disregarded such nonsense and told the miners to carve a new path to the caves. We need logs more than we need fear, I say. I made sure the metalsmiths set up a defensive gate to seal shut in case something goes wrong.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2rr2suo.png)
I'm well aware I ordered thirty wooden shields to be made but two days ago. Let's not point fingers here.
Malachite 7
(http://i55.tinypic.com/5v6btu.png)
Gods help me, they were right! Little Cappstv III ran into my office screaming about a massive eyeless bird that suddenly appeared in the new Hall of Masonry. I really need to stick a cage trap outside that door so I can avoid these kinds of interruptions.
Investigation revealed the terrified workers holding the creature at bay with whatever they could grab.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2d8f586.png)
A little harsh encourgement and they suddenly remembered they were armed, and rushed forward to cut the bird right out of flight.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2vukpdv.png)
They kept its thrashing body busy until the proper military arrived to finish it off.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/23iv12q.png)
Never ones for waste, the butchers were summoned straight away. No sense letting so much good poultry spoil.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/dlksnn.png)
9th Malachite
(http://i53.tinypic.com/20gcjya.png)
Little McArthur has not gone insane as
(http://i51.tinypic.com/mlo6ld.png)
The amulet depicts one of the last dwarven kings to rule the throne before the humans assumed power. Those were better days, the historians say. I can't say I know too much about Queen Led, having spent so much of her reign in faraway lands, but I know her name came up several times in the logs of the former Overseers. It's no wonder the place is in such disarray when you have such paranoid nuts running things. Honestly, as though the Queen has nothing better to do than exterminate all the dwarves. How ridiculous.
12th Malachite
The late and great LordSlowpoke's adopted daughter, LordSlowpoke, is an insufferable menace.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/ax1e9j.png)
A plague on the little witch. I must now ensure every adult is busy and unable to join in this waste of construction time.
I went to the tyke's house to tell her off, but found the doors had been barred. A few dwarves tell me they heard noises within and sealed off the place to be safe. I'll have to send a team in to find out what happened once this militia is less pathetic. I could probably send in Tupu by himself, but he's busy protecting the masons from skeletal horses while the new walls are built. There are not enough dwarves, nor hours in the day for all we need done.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/11bspom.png)
Welcome to Failcannon, and the wonderful world of Masonry!
(http://i51.tinypic.com/10msj9x.png)
Except you. Uristein's been looking for an assistant, and you're perfect.
14th Malachite
Wretched migrants and their cats.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2zxrs7q.png)
I need to find some way to eliminate them. The cats, I mean, not the migrants. That would be silly.
16th Malachite
I have convinced the bone carvers that it's okay to use goblin bones since the goblins died of natural causes.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/svhy0y.png)
What? Falling is a perfectly natural phenomenon.
18th Malachite
I awoke this morning to a problem.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/qzqkic.png)
You see, the woodcutters were taking their sweet long time with the wood cutting down in the lower caverns, so we weren't able to close the gate quick enough to keep out said problem. The dwarf who first spotted the problem was an axedwarf and very soon we had what would turn out to be poisonous blood all over the floor.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/28a2vbp.png)
The axedwarf is no longer with us, but I'm sure she'd be gratified to know that the last thing she did before dying was expose all her comrades to horrible illness.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2lxe0wz.png)
Rest in peace, Erika Koloshur.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/o9hcf9.jpg)
The monster was brought down by the next soldier to try taking it, a mere Recruit by the name of Thatdude. He fights with only a shield due to a missing hand, and this turned out to be for the best, as he was minimally exposed to the blood.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/17xnwn.png)
Despite his bravery, he was ordered to stay in the area until we were sure what the symptoms were. Everyone knows that a beast with white blood could be poisonous, it's just a matter of what kind of poison. Given the vast unholy ocean we have sitting beneath us it could be anything. Engravers were sent to clean the area and masons are heading over to replace any contaminated ramps.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/16lwm0y.png)
19th Malachite
The contaminated area is mostly cleaned and a marksdwarf will be stationed at the cave entrance for as long as the gate remains open. Which is not very longer, I hope.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/14j0q45.png)
Sadly, Thatdude is now walking at 1/5th the normal speed for a dwarf and claims to be unable to feel anything. A poor fate for a hero indeed. Still, he's faring better than poor Iggy. Now, when I first came to Failcannon, half the population were walking around in tattered rags, the other half got along on the nude. Part of my reason for ordering everyone into the militia was that I could mandate the wearing of proper, functional attire. Besides being tasteful, clothes provide protection from the elements, elements that sometimes include deadly poisons.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/zogs3p.png)
Miners and woodcutters, for whatever reason, do not feel obliged to wear their mandated attire unless they are called into active military service, in which case, they will not perform their civilian tasks.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/wlyo7o.png)
This lingering absurdity of dwarven custom is the reason Iggy had to die. If he'd been wearing boots or even socks, the insidious venom could not have crept through his body like a devouring tide of army ants. Let it be known he died in performance of his duty, carving away a tainted ramp so that no one else would be poisoned by it.
By some miracle, none of the children were injured during the brief outbreak.
Malachite 20
(http://i54.tinypic.com/dws40y.png)
While cleaning efforts ensue on the staircase above us, myself and near thirty other dwarves are stationed in a tertiary dining hall located deep in the fortress. We can't go up the stairs until all traces of poison are gone. Some of the children here have no shoes, and would surely die if they followed a parent upstairs.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/elbj0n.png)
It was just after noon when a dwarf came down the ramp tugging something colossal through the hall. It was Tale the butcher, sweating from exertion. We gathered in for a closer look.
"Tale... what is that?" someone asked.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/1zcha8m.png)
(http://i55.tinypic.com/1pxhlk.png)
(http://i55.tinypic.com/1pxhlk.png)
It was, of course, the poisonous monster's corpse, and soon panic spread and everyone mindlessly fled from the scene. In confusion, Tale dropped the body and ran away screaming too. A cat stepped onto the corpse and wasted no time in rotting to death. It seems I need to speak with the butchers about the meaning of the word "edible."
Again, despite the disaster, no children were hurt. I say no children because during the panic, a drawbridge was ordered shut and unlucky timing resulted in the death of a soldier.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/htsmso.png)
Rest in peace, MadJax.
Later in the day, I found an engraver named The True Mekboy dying of thirst in his dungeon cell. Our squallid prison conditions are in dire need of improvement, but it's not my greatest concern; still, I couldn't bear to watch the lad die of thirst in chains like that, so I let him out to have a drink.
Well, turns out I should have spoken to the Fortress Guard about that, because when Xenos found the prisoner outside his cell, he was deeply distressed.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2vwac7s.png)
The Guard made sure someone came to take Mekboy to the hospital after stabbing him up a few times, a decision I commend. I mean, he could've just dragged the Engraver back to his cell, but no, he did the right thing and I'm proud of him.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/212tqns.png)
23rd Malachite
Visited Mekboy in the hospital today, he's doing well.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/15x0jed.png)
frozen wouldn't shut up about how he couldn't move. If he really is paralyzed, then why is he able to bother me so much? Kids these days, always full of complaints.
24th Malachite
(http://i55.tinypic.com/111uz5i.png)
I feel kind of bad now that frozen is dead.
In other news, for a brewer, Elderont cooks up a mean muck root stew.
25th Malachite
Concerns about an outbreak of plague like the one to strike Battlefailed has led to the employment of my latest brainchild. I called it the Dwarven Diving Board.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2choyol.png)
Anyone who has been anywhere near the exposed areas has been ordered onto the end of a sturdy silver bridge set between the Cheese Maker's Guild and the base of our new defense system. I don't envy the dwarves who are to be plunged into those slimy, stinking, jellyfish-infested waters, but telling them it was that or a slow, rot-filled death made for a compelling argument.
I haven't yet tested it out yet. Here goes!
(http://i51.tinypic.com/295vali.png)
Eureka!
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2cfa8ee.png)
Huge Success! They loved it so much, they went right back on for another go, and not just because they were ordered to.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/14w3p6p.png)
Who am I to forbid them such a good time? Happy dwarves are productive dwarves!
(http://i53.tinypic.com/10zagx2.png)
It's good to see them all laughing and smiling for once. My research would suggest it is the morale of the populace that most often decides whether or not a fortress succeeds.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2eap0ci.png)
At any rate, if this helps the soldiers learn how to swim, all the better.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2ykcc2w.png)
Galena 10
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2n7lcht.png)
Tragedy struck on the beach when Moxie was killed using the Dwarven Diving Board. Instead of the water, he landed on the shale stone on the side of the shore and died quietly. May she rest in peace.
Use of the Diving Board is now restricted. I'm told the device is dangerously addictive anyway, since the soldiers were having so much fun they didn't even notice Moxie wasn't okay until hours had passed.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/24pcsus.png)
Galena 20
It's been a very quiet month. Not much to report, the caves are finally shut and the windmills are getting built. The surface level is slightly cleaner than it used to be. Constructions getting done. There's still ghosts popping out at you every now and again, but once you get used to them, they not very frightening.
Galena 12
(http://i56.tinypic.com/15hh4p2.png)
Deathsword spotted a few goblins approaching from the northwest and charged down a lone thief by the gate.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/n6stw7.png)
Nice try, Deathsword.
Down in the southeast canyon, a Speardwarf courageously charged at the bulk of the goblin force all by himself.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/104fdhz.png)
Well, you know what happens next. Rest in peace, hellbored.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/10i82h0.png)
Reinforcements arrived too late to save the Speardwarf, but they were able to drive off the goblins without further casualties. hellbored was awarded the Golden Sock for his actions today.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2iizv4p.png)
Galena 21
(http://i54.tinypic.com/9ko4ya.png)
A cat suddenly found itself outside the gate where a herd of undead horses were waiting. Heheheh.
Galena 23
(http://i52.tinypic.com/sxnivc.png)
Tupu has been making some excellent stuff out of goblin bone. Is there anything Tupu can't do?
Limestone 2
(http://i53.tinypic.com/o0ux5v.png)
Humans have come to trade and are expressing great interest in our new Adamantine Trade Depot. They were informed the metal is not for sale. Instead, we are sending them home with some of our many barrels of gnomeblight in exchange for valley herbs and precious metals. They think we're selling them medicine for a plague that hit their village. I love how gullible humans are.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/qxqqaa.png)
They brought us some... interesting items.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2w23sxk.png)
Like Deer n/a. Whatever Deer n/a is, we bought ten stacks of it. I'm gonna feed some to the cats and see what happens.
Seriously, where do they come up this stuff?
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2crmvqt.png)
Limestone 4
(http://i54.tinypic.com/34zzsxx.png)
We are under attack by a fearsome foe. Do not falter, fellows of Failcannon, rest assured I will not waver on my watch.
Limestone 8
(http://i53.tinypic.com/25jcdg0.png)
Xellas went a bit crazy today, nearly starting a fist fight with one of the kids. He claims it was the work of a vengeful spirit so I guess it's about time to address the ghost issue.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/5dmijr.png)
Ghosts are becoming a big problem in forts nowadays, what with the land morphing and cities vanishing and what have you. Still, there's a pretty easy way to get them out of your hair: just bury their bodies or design a memorial or them and make sure they see it, and then just ignore them! Soon they've go on to wherever it is ghosts go when they're bored.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2yynscm.png)
It's much quieter now. I almost miss those guys. What were their names again?
Limestone 22
(http://i51.tinypic.com/166lpwz.png)
Today Greader produced a magnificent grate I can think of absolutely no use for. Still, it's exquisite, and I like the kobold he put on there. It should be installed somewhere public, in such a way that it cannot be stolen.
Sandstone 6
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2gy626s.png)
Sandstone 7
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2iuykx3.png)
When I hear of a good thing to do with our new captive Ettin, we'll do that.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/14nxc9.png)
A few Dabbling Metalsmiths have arrived, despite the danger. I don't know what they thought they were going to do when they got here, but most of them were unskilled buffoons lucky to have us here to give them a home and a job. They don't get to pick which job, but they certainly have one.
Some of the new arrivals were rightly pleased with the arrangement.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2uxxsaa.png)
Others are less so, complaining about 'wasted talent' and a number of other things.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/jic2eq.png)
Look, if a Carpenter migrates to a place were wood doesn't exist, they should be thankful to get a job at all that doesn't involve falling a great distance.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2eouzw0.png)
Whoops, looks like someone forgot to hold that memorial service for MadJax. He's understandably ticked off, but has been kind enough to keep to himself while we try to remember something about him important enough to engrave on a slab.
12th Timber
(http://i56.tinypic.com/149b41g.png)
Well, here we go again. More goblins, lots of them from the west. This'll be fun. I didn't feel like dragging all the workers inside away from their important outdoor functions, so the soldiers were sent out under protest to meet the attackers on the beach to keep them distracted.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2heer8h.png)
I sat in the Third Hand's Tower as usual to get the best possible view. I brought a bag of rock nuts along in case I got hungry, and I did.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2up5wyx.png)
Mipe is so lucky. Tough little thing for someone so wiry.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2hzojyv.png)
Way to go, boozedorf! Keep mining that goblinite!
(http://i54.tinypic.com/11l7n21.png)
What's the matter with you, CatalystParadox! Get up! Fight!
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2n9j909.png)
That's it!
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2hs6z38.png)
Tupu's arrived, hammer in hand! This will be over soon.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/bdo3lj.png)
Haha, he tore the goblin's throat out with his teeth. Classic Tupu!
(http://i54.tinypic.com/29m6kci.png)
Nice one, Mipe! That'll teach 'em!
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2lszocl.png)
Great shot, Greader! Wow, I'm so impressed with everyone out there. I'd be out there fighting with you, but you know... my back...
(http://i51.tinypic.com/9s9ow2.png)
Well, looks like we can call it a day.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/25r10r6.png)
Oh no! Tupu's been injured! But he picked up the hammer with his other hand and continues the fight!
(http://i53.tinypic.com/254wx7s.png)
Oh no, Tupu! Get over there and help Tupu, you rejects!
(http://i56.tinypic.com/20a5i5t.png)
Oh sweet schist, now there's another bunch of archers. Tupu's holding on but I'm not sure how long he's got. Thank the Gods we found the adamantine, that helmet's the only thing saving his life!
(http://i52.tinypic.com/r9pp95.png)
Soldiers have charged the marksgoblins, and there look to be heavy casualties. Their leader is a stout pikeman employed in skewering Elth, our apprentice Cheesemaker.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2qurq1f.png)
Damn it all, this was going so well before. I only hope that -
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2vw61km.png)
Yes! That dagger sure knows how to dance!
(http://i56.tinypic.com/wkqmfn.png)
O, thank the stone, the goblins are routing. Everyone seems to have survived the battle, even Tupu, who is walking off the battlefield on his own power. Amazing, but given his injuries, I doubt he'll ever fight or craft again. A loss, alas.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/693mmw.png)
14th Timber
For lack of anything better to do with it, the Ettin was stowed in the Western Surface Courtyard with a stern warning posted over the lever that releases it.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2nv72ow.png)
* * *
* * *
Scientific Protocol Urist Rigoth Id Sath Tekkud - Six
Experiment #043
Observation: Dwarves permit themselves to use the limbs of sentient enemies killed and sectioned by high velocity impact.
Hypothesis: Experiment will determine if Dwarves permit themselves to use the limbs of fellow Dwarves killed and sectioned by high velocity impact.
Procedural Overview: A lever was created at the base of the Tower situated within the Courtyard above the surface. The lever was attached to bridges built on the top of the Tower and withdraw when activated.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2czzret.png)
Test Subject Treatyconjured was stationed on the outer tip of the eastern bridge. Moral quandaries regarding experiment resolved by Test Subject's complete lack of self-preservative sense.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2igf0av.png)
Lever was pulled.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/wtziom.png)
(http://i53.tinypic.com/23rmtlh.png)
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2mh260.png)
Result: Test Subject died instantaneously due to high velocity impact. Catastrophic amputation of all limbs was complete.
Test Subject's body parts were not properly identified and forbidden after experimental procedure. Presence of many witnesses to the "accident" ensured the parts were buried before the day's end, rendering the entire procedure futile. Caravan from Dastot Cog will likely report the incident.
Conclusion: Inconclusive. Further experimentation required.
edit: broken images dealt with
Post by: Michael_Almeida on July 15, 2011, 02:45:50 pm
I am torn between being glad and disappointed.
Still, here's hoping he doesn't die horribly before the year ends.
Post by: Scaraban on July 15, 2011, 03:36:14 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 15, 2011, 04:17:35 pm
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2e49lif.png)
The Champion has since been assigned a masterwork silver replacement.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 15, 2011, 07:11:39 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 15, 2011, 10:17:18 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on July 16, 2011, 01:58:27 am
The easy to die part would nonetheless seem to ring true, given the number of coffins in our burialchamber.chambers. One can even ask the dead themselves how easy it is, I know I did.(http://i56.tinypic.com/2uzb1wn.png)
They're a pretty personable bunch, really, but they don't seem to realize they're dead. We'll have to get around to memorializing them one of these days.
The next post in which I die again.
Not only is my dwarf dead, but I was dorfed previously and killed anonymously, left to rot and haunt the fortress. I demand that neither of them be buried. and if buried, then dig them up and forbid their corpses so you have to put up with me full-time! (unless they're poltergeists or murderous ghosts, I guess that's a good excuse not to...)
Unless of course you want to draft a peasant into the full-time military with only a shield and armor and a few months training to use the shield as a melee weapon - and shield, of course. :P
it's actually surprisingly effective when they're danger room trained.
This was a great read. I would like a chance to play, but I warn you that I failed all my writing classes. :P
Computer's strong and schedule's relatively empty for the foreseeable future though.
Post by: Scaraban on July 16, 2011, 08:37:22 am
Computer's strong and schedule's relatively empty for the foreseeable future though.
schedule's relatively empty for the foreseeable future though.
schedule's relatively emptyOoooooooooo, you shouldn't have said thaaaaaaaaaaaat!
Post by: Eric Blank on July 17, 2011, 12:18:02 am
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 17, 2011, 12:45:14 am
Did i manage to kill anyone in all the fighting? Hell, am i even still alive after going out as part of the rookie meatshields?
I don't think he killed anyone, but the Troubleshooter is still alive and well. Anyone I haven't announced as dead is still alive and well. I'll re-dwarf anyone who dies too, barring a request not to.
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 18, 2011, 06:55:10 pm
Tracing the outer edges of reality, below the Crucible of Worlds where legions of deities issued forth new worlds by the forces of math and language and energy, the spawning pool of innumerable souls, sidelong the endless row of moons and worlds affixed to stars bequoth existence by sheer will of force, atop a parabolic arc of light and shadow and shifting hues was shored a low-lying building that looked to mortal eyes like stone and mortar swathed in living paint, a structure stretching past the edge of vision to a fine and distant point.
Where no living mortal had ever stood, an ancient spirit quite familiar with the afterlives held a wispy palm to the wall in silent reverence. I cannot believe it, he thought. At long last. Here lay the sum of all the knowledge in the cosmos, and though it would take longer than eternity to read every text, he had a specific volume in mind.
He walked until he found what seemed to be a pair of tall iron doors set into the polished stone that yet sparkled musically across a spectrum of yellows and purples. He grasped the handle and a heavy bolting sound thundered through the door as it swung open.
Drawing empty breath to ghostly lungs, the wizard stepped inside. There, miles of ornate wooden bookshelves spiraled around an impossibly tall ceiling illuminated by self-suspended chandeliers all blazing with torches. Numbers lined the end of each enormous shelf that framed a circular desk with a small silver bell set upon it.
Uncertainly, the wizard approached the desk. The Library was too vast for even the Gods to be constantly watching every bit of it, but any minute now he could be discovered and kicked back to mortality. With a few sideways glances, he tapped the bell, and in the air behind the desk appeared a plume of gray and purple smoke. "Index number?" inquired a soothing basso from the midst of the cloud.
"One-hundred ten point twenty-three."
"Access to this file is restricted," said the voice. "Please submit the password."
"Koganusân."
"Password accepted," responded the voice, and the book appeared in the air before him as the smoke faded away. Phantom heart pounding away in his ectoplasmic chest, his trembling hands reached out for the book. He needed to know if the secret lay within. The lowest of screams, barely enough to be heard, rolled through the air in a hazy static. As the book was plucked from the air, an absolute silence unfolded and the pages flipped themselves open, ancient words in crimson ink casting out an eerie glow.
The Rebirth of Mortals was a secret created by the goddess Ura in a time before time. Whosoever learns the secret shall be empowered to raise the living from the dead. Beware the curse of undeath!
In a time before time, the goddess Ura inscribed The Rebirth of Mortals to Dawntumors, a chameleon fiend leather tome.
In the year 500, the ghostly wizard Andreus learned The Rebirth of Mortals in the Lost Library.
* * *
(http://i54.tinypic.com/167pesl.png)
In a time before time, the goddess Ura inscribed The Rebirth of Mortals to Dawntumors, a chameleon fiend leather tome.
In the year 500, the ghostly wizard Andreus learned The Rebirth of Mortals in the Lost Library.
* * *
(http://i54.tinypic.com/167pesl.png)
A talented dwarf named Aik was killed during a construction accident along the outer wall. She will be missed by her five surviving cats. Rest in peace, Aik. Poor Little McArthur was caught in the falling rubble and sustained two broken legs, but I think we have enough splints to patch up our youngest legend.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/x5dqna.png)
Winter has seen the continuing visitation of the caravan from Graspedseduce, who continue to barter with us despite witnessing the unfortunate accident involving Rith several days ago. They tell us the dwarves of Graspedseduce have sprouted an open rebellion against the Queen's rule, and we're assisting the cause by sending the caravan home with the finest wooden arms Failcacnnon had ever stolen from dead elves. Conversely, we managed to purchase an entire fort's worth of fine armor and weapons by selling a few barrels of Elderont's Famous Roasted Seeds, worth about six steel breastplates a pop. Elderont's got a real racket going here. He cooks the seeds of drinks he brews and everyone loves his stuff so I fear an outbreak of rioting inevitably looms should he ever die.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/1z331b6.png)
Time seems to be moving faster and faster as we continue to clean up the place, store unsorted goods, and cull the furry menace from our halls. The days are blurring together. Construction projects continue and fortress morale is at an all time high but for a few malcontents who will surely come 'round eventually.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Tupu has not only survived his incredible injuries, but continues to serve as our Fortress Champion. Missing his right hand and without fine control over his left, he remains unable to perform any civilian duties (including, sadly, his bone carving), but this has not prevented him from wielding a shield and a shiny new silver hammer and keeping a constant vigil over our gates.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/sc54p5.png)
I wish everyone were more like Tupu.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2mzzix1.png)
Grath has produced another adorable, drooling drain on our resources. May she live long enough to start helping our sunberry harvest.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/3515yqc.png)
Gods damn it, I keep assigning walls to be built next to bridges without support. You'd think the workers would've learned by now. Two dwarves fell from the scaffolding and drowned in the one section of water they couldn't escape from. We have since dug ramps on the shore and placed their memorials there on the stone. Rest in peace, boozedwarf and Draconik.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/1z4vgr4.png)
Elderont's complained about the new meat we're giving him. Says it's too stringy, wants to know where it came from. I know he's friends with that maddwarf Ledi, and I may have to confine him to his still if he continues to act as a sympathizer.
As for the Cat Lady, well... she's quite talented. I do hope nothing happens to her, honest.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/14wem2b.png)
* * *
From the depths of dreams, Andreus followed a familiar flow of shapes and lights to his destination. Mortality had driven Lur to delirium, Andreus mused. The rambling made too little sense. Too many inconsistencies. But truth was in there. Where must be confirmed.
For the first time in over thirty years, his astral form now stood before the iron doors of the Library, rusted and ruined amidst the cracked and crumbling walls. The once peaceful and starry sky here was laden with greenish cracks and shadowy vortices sucking away the vibrance that once danced along the Library's walls, leaving them bleak and lifeless.
The door was unlocked this time, and he stepped inside. Darkness had overwhelmed the place now that torches now longer blazed in chandeliers that once hovered the countless shelves but had crashed into golden slag upon the floor.
Andreus nervously made his way inside. The old desk was inaccessible through the twisted metal rubble, but the section he needed was thankfully there at the fore of the many, many books in the section labelled 001.
Addoredir... Agakthoth... Aluonra.
He lifted the thick metal tome from the shelf and pried it open. A hollow chorus of wails rose from the ash-covered words and faded away.
Flipping hurriedly through the pages, he lamented lacking the time to study the secrets of this invaluable book, but time was precious and the entire astral realm felt wholly unsafe as it was. He was unsure what would happen if his current form was destroyed, if such a thing was possible.
Finding the proper year, Andreus scrolled his eyes through the text, and gasped. "It is true," he whispered.
In the early spring of 501, the human queen Led Shakeoars performed the secret ritual of The Crypts of Flickering.
In the early spring of 501, the goddess Ura manifested as a skeletal human in the Plains of Ooze.
* * *
(http://i51.tinypic.com/alq7fn.png)
In the early spring of 501, the goddess Ura manifested as a skeletal human in the Plains of Ooze.
* * *
(http://i51.tinypic.com/alq7fn.png)
Within the greatest tragedies lay seeds of great success. These dwarves, those who've survived unbelievable peril or braved stories of them to embark here, they're among the hardiest, most talented dwarves I've ever seen. Our crafters are adept if not far greater. Our soldiers are brave and well-armed, if unskilled. Our dining room is AMAZING with sixty gold and silver tables each. That last bit will have to change if we ever want the population to say, be miserable for longer than the time it takes them to eat and become completely ecstatic over the death of their lover.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/14btjwk.png)
The High Master Weaponsmith that migrated here recently has claimed a Magma Forge and gathered several wafers of adamantine, but he seems to want some kind of cloth we can't provide. We'll start the looms up once the WEAPON is complete.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2gycdj7.png)
Oh my, was Elderont pissed that his roasted seeds were left out to rot in the kitchen. Seems we've run out of barrels, so I'm ordering 90 barrels of pure silver to be made. We can always melt them down when we must, and with tons of native silver here, I doubt the need will arise.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2s7hsie.png)
No one's heard from Zeocin in some time. They say he went off to build a wall near the underground reactor and was never heard from again. Are the murders not behind us by now?
In happier news, with the coming of the New Year we are ready to begin testing of F.A.I.L.S.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/fth64j.png)
The Failcannon Automated Inderdictive Landflood System: Four pumps, dozens of silver and golden bridges channeling seawater into a holding tank at the front of our fort. Windmills provide constant power, while a water intake valve is controlled by a lever in the western courtyard, so that the machine can be switched on and off at will. Valves at the tank and along the aqueduct stand ready to release the water at a moment's notice.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2wo9h88.png)
Try and get to us now, filthy skorses! Actually, don't. Skeletal horses can swim, can't they?
Well, whatever. PULL THE LEVER!
(http://i52.tinypic.com/sqjzir.png)
The holding tank is filled. I love the smell of cat piss in the morning.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/21btw5.png)
Mwahahaha. MWAHAHAHAhANOTHING CAN STOP US NOW!
(http://i54.tinypic.com/viian5.png)
YES. YES DROWN> DROWN EVERYTHING
Ahem. Testing of F.A.I.L.S. concluded successfully. We're proceeding to Step 2 of the defense grid. It's only the beginning of our crusade for perfect safety, but we've lain the groundwork for the future. There should be magma, and poison tanks as well. And spikes in the field. With lye. And some lignite scattered about the sand. Nothing like a nice unquenchable coal fire on the beach. Warms those chilly bones.
1st Granite
Nearly a year has passed since I began working as Failcannon's Overseer. We've come a long way, but much work needs to be done. Just this morning I had to stop several dwarves from destroying the coffins of babies to smash up their bones. Some kind of perverse annual holiday, it seems. I shudder to think of what happened in the days preceding my arrival last year.
Despite all the calamitous deaths, there are sixty-eight of us here, one less than the same number as when I arrived. I call that just about breaking even. It'll be sixty-seven soon enough, as despite the work of our weavers, Urist still hasn't found the cloth he needs and is starting to get that crazy look in his eye. Sixty-six if Little McArthur dies. Sixty-five should the cat-loving blacksmith somehow mysteriously find herself surrounded by magma in her own home. Not that such a thing could ever happen.
New construction is underway and the place is starting to resemble a habitable, well-ordered home. If we keep this up, the Queen herself may decide to pay a visit. Perhaps an extended one, should trouble in Graspedseduce be as great as I hear it is.
Dastot Cog has lost much blood to the Plains of Ooze. Let's hope it was all spilled for a reason. Soon no outside force shall be able to threaten us. Failcannon is safe, perfectly safe.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2570fgl.png)
Safe.
Would it be alright if I played through another year? It went by quickly, and there's a bunch of stuff I intended to do that never got done. Otherwise I can wrap up the turn and upload the save; the Spring save was before the pump was tested, so fps should be tolerable.
The deaths of the several cat owners were completely unintentional, if usefully coincidental.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 18, 2011, 09:15:25 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 18, 2011, 09:48:41 pm
As for another year, ask whoever's next on the turn list (which I really should update).
Post by: Dariush on July 19, 2011, 02:58:23 am
Post by: arcangelsd on July 19, 2011, 05:05:11 am
Post by: Dariush on July 19, 2011, 06:22:13 am
Post by: Johuotar on July 19, 2011, 04:06:42 pm
Post by: Grath on July 19, 2011, 09:39:09 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on July 20, 2011, 01:33:38 am
Plenty of !?!? amongst the last three posts.
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 20, 2011, 03:54:55 am
So there's two of me running around? (Uristein and Urist the Moody High Master Weaponsmith) Sweet. I hope I don't need wool.
As for another year, ask whoever's next on the turn list (which I really should update).
Yeah, my bad about the clone. There are two Arcane Saints too, a Medical Student and a Smith Doctor. The result of dwarfing folks at 5 A.M. when the screen is hard to comprehend.
Joshua IX has graciously allowed me a second year.
...you intend to kill every named dwarf, don't you. Am I still alive, by the way?
That is a scandalous accusation, good sir. Dariush III is in traction down in what once was a hospital, outside his office. I'm putting some touches on that Tower of Doors thing, for which I have special plans involving a hematite lever and an electrum pillar. No plans for pulling anything, just... plans.
Wait what?! Failcannon is still alive?! I didn't believe you would last this long. It seems that playturn lisy and dorfing lists are huge so Ill skip but I'm definately going to read this. Its quite sometime since I read battlefailed.
You could be dorfed if you like. There are still a few unclaimed dwarves around the place. Living ones, too.
Wait what?! Grath is still alive? Obviously I haven't been catching enough arrows.
Indeed, so far it's been only one arrow, in the fourth finger, right hand. There's always the chance of fatal infection, though, so don't give up hope.
Excellent work, Seth. A great read.
Plenty of !?!? amongst the last three posts.
Glad you're enjoying it! I think the Ericas have been commemorated, so when I deface their slabs they might come back as murderous. We'll find out, anyway.
"Glacial."
"You're back!"
"The sunshine, Glacial."
"Did you find Lur?"
"No. Only a very old enemy. She's planned this for eons, and now, something, abominable, spreads at her command. Something once held in stasis, unchained."
"What is it?"
"It isn't."
* * *
On the evening of Granite 1 I met with Dariush III in his temporary office, where he's still resting his injured legs. The diplomat from Graspedseduce has stood by his side every day for months now, but as far as I know they haven't actually begun official meetings. Dariush still claims to be unable to speak officially due to his "rest." One wonders what they've been up to this whole time.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/29eirzo.png)
Reports are coming in that our most recent wood mining efforts were interrupted by some slimy winged ant that nearly stole off with Ahrimahn and several other woodcutters. Lucky for them LAAT was there since he's the only one there who remembered holding an axe.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/33ldtsi.png)
Quick, clean and efficient. LAAT is truly my kind of mechanic. If the beast managed to get any of that slime anywhere, we haven't been able to find it.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2ldycep.png)
The weavers are yet to fully discern the type of cloth Urist needs. He's starting to shout louder at his workshop and I'm concerned he'll snap any day now. Turns out he's the cousin of Uristein, who suggested he might be after something called "wool," from a "sheep," if I'm spelling right. Some kind of furry monster from the Eastern Lands. Since the chances of us getting this sheep here in time are about zero, we'll need to think of another solution. I tried getting one of the farmers to shave a captive troll.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/f8as1.png)
He wasn't having that, so it's back to the drawing board.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2aad4ed.png)
The masons still haven't built that wall, but they shot down another repugnant monster. Gods only know what it was before they mangled it. No matter. We'll never need to farm for food again at this rate.
It was sometime around midnight when breadbocks decided to take her daughter outside on a mission to claim a certain article of footwear from the clutches of the soggy beach. Nobody realized where she'd went until her screams carried over the walls.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/r8bh93.png)
By the time ElementalWind got there to smash up the horse from behind, the skorse was desperately kicking at breadbocks' head, trying to cave her skull in despite the adamantine helmet protecting her.
I stood there as breadbocks was carried away to the overcrowded hospital. Staring at the strands of horse hair scattered across the sands where that tempting sock lay, I was struck by an idea. Horse hair is thick and sturdy. Sturdy enough to weave? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haircloth) We'll find out. We might be able to coax Urist away from madness with the promise of new materials. Uristein says that wool is just a certain sort of animal hair, so when we give his cousin this "wool" he'd better accept it, or it's Cage Traps all the way down the magma sea.
1: Get horse hair
(http://i56.tinypic.com/33jmuxu.png)
2: Weave horse hair
(http://i56.tinypic.com/qpqfie.png)
3: ? ? ? ?
(http://i51.tinypic.com/mru45x.png)
4: FUCK
(http://i55.tinypic.com/24qibyo.png)
I can't fight this thing! Uh... by myself! what the hell even is that thing?
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2dbjjia.png)
Oh gods, oh holy schist we're all done fo-- I mean, don't just stand there, lads! Have at the monster! You have weapons, use them!
(http://i52.tinypic.com/rm33wp.png)
I SAID USE THEM NOT DROP THEM
(http://i52.tinypic.com/sys669.png)
Damn it, Robocorn. You said you wanted more out of life than cheese! Was the adamantine battle axe not a part of that plan?
(http://i56.tinypic.com/16gwtwj.png)
He's melting all over the hall! Why aren't you people helping him?! Help, someone!
(http://i51.tinypic.com/9joac5.png)
Reinforcements! Let us avenge our fallen comrade!
(http://i55.tinypic.com/fz6a0i.png)
(http://i55.tinypic.com/sb7sxd.png)
(http://i55.tinypic.com/sb7sxd.png)
Ha, that's it! Teamwork! There's nothing it can't solve! Aside from bringing Robocorn back from the dead, I guess. But still, by working together, we can certainly mop up his remains.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2nhkaw6.png)
Don't look at me that way, Thatdude. I had your back the whole time!
(http://i54.tinypic.com/262ntqv.png)
Little over a week into Granite and already we've lost too many. Skorses murdered a dabbling Mason building the eastern water containment wall. It seems they're learning how to bypass the helmet to kill us, as Derm's twisted spine would suggest. Rest in peace, good Bone Carver. You died most poetically.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2i9rvd4.png)
The following morning, That Aussie Dwarf braved the beach to recover Derm's body. May he have better luck.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2rerzi1.png)
I don't get it. They're nothing but skin and bones and sinew, people! They can't be that tough.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/3342814.png)
Megaman finally brought down the creature from behind while it gave That Aussie Dwarf a few reasons never to leave bed again. It's great how new migrants get here and see one out of five people missing limbs or in casts. Makes me wonder about what they're telling the Mountainhome, so I'll need to collect the letters and burn them before this year's caravan. I doubt the Queen would come to a "cursed death trap" as I hear the rabble put it, no matter how bad the Capital got.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2ex2c0i.png)
This skeletal horse business would never have happened if Tupu was at his post as ordered, but I suppose even Champions need to eat every once in a while.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/30ljx39.png)
Granite 13
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2hxsq5f.png)
Tupu has returned to his guard post. I don't know how he manages to use his gear without a working grasp, but this is Tupu we're talking about. If he lacked that last feeble arm he'd probably wield the hammer in his teeth.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2e3wjtv.png)
I don't know what the foodies are on about. I see plenty of butcherable material scampering around now that Derm isn't feeding it.
Granite 22
(http://i53.tinypic.com/27xi451.png)
Some Soap Maker barged into my office screaming his beard off about the draft and something about "extreme negligence." I told him to go bother Dariush in his infirmary office, I'm sure the Mayor could use some company.
Granite 23
(http://i53.tinypic.com/11m51k5.png)
Uristein's cousin finally began forging his master work. With our luck it'll be a mace, or maybe a blowgun. I would personally appreciate a scimitar, so I know for certain that's not what it's going to be.
Granite 24
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2ltkd4z.png)
This is so typical. The workers are going on strike demanding safer working conditions and better quarters. The Cat Lady seems to be the ringleader, I'm watching her. At least four dwarves are refusing to work in their rage but no one's turned violent so far. A road-in-progress was uprooted by someone the other day. Can one be charged for vandalizing something that hasn't been built yet? I'll need to ask Aik, the interim Captain of the Guard in the stead of the late boozedwarf. The fact that I closed the dining room for renovations gives no one the right to wreck the place.
Granite 28
(http://i55.tinypic.com/20qz42d.png)
Well now! Urist finished working and wears the widest smirk I've ever seen on a dwarf. Let's see what he's come up with.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/1tx061.png)
An incredible spear bearing a remarkable image. Two dwarves kneeling before Otik, and three haunting cows of silk that stare into your very soul. What could it all symbolize?
Urist's weapon is a fine end to a long month. Since he made it, he gets to use it. Not on any of us, I hope, but for now, Urist is easily the happiest dwarf in the fort so there's little danger of that. We've seen a rough and tumble start to the year, but in time I'm sure things will level out. I was a bit harsh on my comrades in previous entries. I know the workers have some valid concerns, and they need to blow off some steam. And I'm alright with that, as long as they stay away from F.A.I.L.S., I don't care what they do.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/14tv43n.png)
Ohhhh, Mountain-King. You shouldn't have done that.
Meanwhile...
(http://i56.tinypic.com/v4bf9u.png)
Post by: Karakzon on July 20, 2011, 04:10:57 am
assign specific pick that has been made in your fortress.
he will now use said pick and do mining in his millatery uniform. Dont think this works on woodcutters though.
you can also assign 2 weapons if you put in specifics and 2 sheilds without specfics. :)
Dwarf request:
Dwarf: Karakzon
Boon: Test out dual wielding dual sheilded pick maniac on my guy if you like. its worked before so should work now.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 20, 2011, 04:33:23 am
My first time fighting and I've wound up bedridden, possibly permanently, with at least a broken skull and foot. SWEET! Barring Fun, I've got a much high chance of out-living any of you poor bastards in my nice comfy bed. With meals and water brought to me on-demand! I've got the good life, baby!
Can i see what That Aussie Dwarf's full injury list is if he has any other wounds aside from the broken skull and foot?
Post by: Dariush on July 20, 2011, 06:33:21 am
I have special plans involving a hematite lever and an electrum pillar.N-n-n... n-n-no... you won't dare!!!
Post by: Teneb on July 20, 2011, 09:26:34 am
Post by: Paaaad on July 20, 2011, 11:07:53 am
Edit: Ok... Finished downloading the save finally... And find that it's a .RAR... Little Help here?
Post by: ignatzami on July 20, 2011, 11:50:25 am
So... Been I've watching this thread for a while, and become inspired to create yet another Aluonra fort. Seccusion of course. Battlefailed 2.5 if you will. In fact, I'm downloading a save right now! 64% complete. Any Opposition?
Edit: Ok... Finished downloading the save finally... And find that it's a .RAR... Little Help here?
Grab 7zip, that should handle it.
http://www.7-zip.org/
Post by: Paaaad on July 20, 2011, 01:02:34 pm
So... Been I've watching this thread for a while, and become inspired to create yet another Aluonra fort. Seccusion of course. Battlefailed 2.5 if you will. In fact, I'm downloading a save right now! 64% complete. Any Opposition?
Edit: Ok... Finished downloading the save finally... And find that it's a .RAR... Little Help here?
Grab 7zip, that should handle it.
http://www.7-zip.org/
Got it, thanks. :)
Edit: It's going to be a 2*2 on an island BTW
Edit2: Not right on the coast or anything, but with a road conniction to it.
Edit3: Gurr... Dwarf fortress keeps crashing on me, and all I'm trying to do is build the road! >:(
Post by: Johuotar on July 20, 2011, 03:33:18 pm
In order of importance:
1.military dorf
2.male
3.Little or no friends
Post by: arcangelsd on July 20, 2011, 05:04:25 pm
Now I can say I'm proud to be a craftdwarf XDD
Post by: Groveller on July 20, 2011, 07:38:31 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 20, 2011, 09:06:04 pm
It really amuses me that, given the REALLY short life expectance for anybody in the military (that, if I haven't misunderstood previous information, is the whole fort), everyone wants to be dorfed as a militarydorf. It's like a deathwish xD
Now I can say I'm proud to be a craftdwarf XDD
He actually said all dwarves would be military ones when he named them as he was drafting a bunch of guys. That said, I'm possibly permanently crippled and bedridden. My chances of survival have probably become the highest in the fort. If the others remember to feed and water my dwarf, that is.
Post by: Andreus on July 20, 2011, 10:02:29 pm
Post by: Ledi on July 20, 2011, 10:27:27 pm
I do hope I didn't do anything... too destructive.
(my mental image is suddenly of the Crazy Cat Lady from the Simpsons in dwarven form, using her beloved cats as projectiles)
Post by: Michael_Almeida on July 21, 2011, 06:00:05 am
Name: Boozedorf II
Profession name: Red shirt
Gender: Male
Profession: Axedwarf
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 21, 2011, 06:37:30 am
Oh wow. I'm still alive. Unhappy, but alive! Or at least, my fourth incarnation is. There must always be a crazy cat lady in a fort! XD
I do hope I didn't do anything... too destructive.
(my mental image is suddenly of the Crazy Cat Lady from the Simpsons in dwarven form, using her beloved cats as projectiles)
For the love of Fun, someone mod pets as ammo and give the crazy catdwarf a crossbow.
Post by: arcangelsd on July 21, 2011, 07:24:00 am
It really amuses me that, given the REALLY short life expectance for anybody in the military (that, if I haven't misunderstood previous information, is the whole fort), everyone wants to be dorfed as a militarydorf. It's like a deathwish xD
Now I can say I'm proud to be a craftdwarf XDD
He actually said all dwarves would be military ones when he named them as he was drafting a bunch of guys. That said, I'm possibly permanently crippled and bedridden. My chances of survival have probably become the highest in the fort. If the others remember to feed and water my dwarf, that is.
"Welcome to Failcannon: the only place in the world where your life expectancy rises if you become horribly and permanently maimed"
I think that should be put in the motivational pamphlets for the fortress.
You should agree that it's better than "Failcannon: get mauled by hideous underground beasts today...FOR FREE!"
Wow, I derailed myself.
Post by: Michael_Almeida on July 21, 2011, 08:53:03 am
Cat Crossbow? WANT.(my mental image is suddenly of the Crazy Cat Lady from the Simpsons in dwarven form, using her beloved cats as projectiles)For the love of Fun, someone mod pets as ammo and give the crazy catdwarf a crossbow.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 21, 2011, 09:27:21 am
Cat Crossbow? WANT.(my mental image is suddenly of the Crazy Cat Lady from the Simpsons in dwarven form, using her beloved cats as projectiles)For the love of Fun, someone mod pets as ammo and give the crazy catdwarf a crossbow.
That would be a gross violation of common decency towards a living creature. Let's do it and make it out of kitten bone for extra dwarfiness.
Post by: Teneb on July 21, 2011, 09:38:27 am
Remember to cover the ammo in forgotten beast poison before firing.Cat Crossbow? WANT.(my mental image is suddenly of the Crazy Cat Lady from the Simpsons in dwarven form, using her beloved cats as projectiles)For the love of Fun, someone mod pets as ammo and give the crazy catdwarf a crossbow.
That would be a gross violation of common decency towards a living creature. Let's do it and make it out of kitten bone for extra dwarfiness.
Post by: Michael_Almeida on July 21, 2011, 09:41:44 am
That would be a gross violation of common decency towards a living creature.
AUSSIE IS ELF![/hoovy]
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 21, 2011, 09:53:43 am
That would be a gross violation of common decency towards a living creature.
AUSSIE IS ELF![/hoovy]
You might wanna keep reading past that bit.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 21, 2011, 09:54:41 am
and the poison causes major hemorrhaging, vomiting, boiling, blistering and organ failure all at the same time.Remember to cover the ammo in forgotten beast poison before firing.Cat Crossbow? WANT.(my mental image is suddenly of the Crazy Cat Lady from the Simpsons in dwarven form, using her beloved cats as projectiles)For the love of Fun, someone mod pets as ammo and give the crazy catdwarf a crossbow.
That would be a gross violation of common decency towards a living creature. Let's do it and make it out of kitten bone for extra dwarfiness.
We can call it the handheld FailCannon.
Post by: Michael_Almeida on July 21, 2011, 09:56:54 am
and the poison causes major hemorrhaging, vomiting, boiling, blistering and organ failure all at the same time.Remember to cover the ammo in forgotten beast poison before firing.Cat Crossbow? WANT.(my mental image is suddenly of the Crazy Cat Lady from the Simpsons in dwarven form, using her beloved cats as projectiles)For the love of Fun, someone mod pets as ammo and give the crazy catdwarf a crossbow.
That would be a gross violation of common decency towards a living creature. Let's do it and make it out of kitten bone for extra dwarfiness.
We can call it the handheld FailCannon.
And it will screw us over royally somehow.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 21, 2011, 01:26:51 pm
On another note, I am not only the happiest dwarf in the fort, but in the thread. Dwarf and turn lists finally updated (if I missed anyone, let me know), I am two dwarves, and one of me is wielding a stabbing spear of stabby doom. And he didn't die!
Post by: Teneb on July 21, 2011, 01:35:53 pm
Probably my machine can run it. At least I hope so.
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 22, 2011, 04:16:21 am
Karakzon commands the squad of miners/pick fighters. The dual-weapons thing seems to work, thanks for the useful tip.
Deathsword's doing fine, he got fixed up by Sprout and still hobbles around butchering things. That Aussie Dwarf on the other hand seems completely bedridden. He's the one who couldn't stand, and is still in traction right now but I hope he'll take up a crutch pretty soon.
Kaamanen is an incredibly muscular male soldier who "sees others as selfish and conniving" and "believes that some deception is necessary in relationships with others." I hope this fulfills your criteria.
Grov is making bone blocks right now. I've adjusted the reaction slightly to accept all unrotten hard-mat body parts, so now they use severed limbs and skeletons for the blocks. I don't think that token was there when we first came up with the reaction but it's more efficient and we can clear up a lot of our unbutcherable corpses this way.
Code: [Select]
[NAME:make bone blocks]
[BUILDING:KILN:CUSTOM_B]
[REAGENT:A:1:NONE:NONE:NONE:NONE][USE_BODY_COMPONENT][UNROTTEN][HARD_ITEM_MATERIAL]
[PRODUCT:100:1:BLOCKS:NONE:GET_MATERIAL_FROM_REAGENT:A:NONE]
[SKILL:ALCHEMY]I don't know how to make a cat crossbow, but when I do I'll certainly make one. I saw a link once about syndrome-inducing missiles, I have no idea where, but I'm pretty sure it can be modded in.
I have special plans involving a hematite lever and an electrum pillar.N-n-n... n-n-no... you won't dare!!!
You're probably right. Pulling that lever will be so much fun I couldn't bear to hog it all. Just knowing what it will do is more than enough.
Journal of 'Seth' Evonoltar, Overseer of Failcannon, excerpts
Felsite 1
I tried my best not to appear completely disinterested in the dwarf urgently pacing my office. I tried getting rid of him politely by citing priorities. "The military's quite busy right now with the unrest, you know. I don't think any more can be spared for trifling matters."
"It is vitally important that we retake that house," said the dwarf, who called himself Andreus XI. Eleventh what, I wondered.
"Why?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"That's probably true."
"Look," said the dwarf. "There's a corpse in there, that used to belong Lur Thiefwitch, who was made mortal by the other gods as punishment for allowing me back to this world before the foundation of Battlefailed, where the Lady of Death followed through the summons this loophole of physics allotted by her servant Queen Led, who's building the strength of her goddess, by harvesting souls that can't escape to the afterlife due to the cosmic turmoil, freeing up bodies and putting Death in a better position for the war that will come to the gods when probability collapses, as a result of the dark Lady calling the Shadow into the worlds she's inhabited to undermine the divine cosmic law, and corrupt the rule of coherent reality."
I stared at him for a long time. He didn't seem dangerous, but I stretched a few fingers toward the axe out of sheer reflex.
"I need to get into the house, to try calling Lur's ghost back to our world with a magical chain," he said. "The house itself abides near the Ocean of Slime. It might be a nexus of worlds from where the undead beasts originate. The laws of reality are strangely interpreted there."
"You superstitious types are all the same," I shook my head. "Always a problem with some god and the end of the world just lurking around the corner. You realize how mad that nonsense sounds, don't you?"
"It's true, at least simply. It's the reason for the skeletal animals, the ghosts, the strange beasts in the caves, and the darkness of our sky. It explains the horrible night creatures sighted all through the land. The worlds are colliding together. Reality is unraveling!"
"Perhaps the Great Toad of Worlds simply got bored and decided to screw with us."
"Now who's talking nonsense?"
"All right then, let's say all this is true. How could you possibly know all of it?"
"I read a reliable book, but what's important right now is the house. Lur Thiefwitch knows what is needed to fend off oblivion. He must."
"I'm sorry," I said to the dwarf. "I know you may believe in all this, but I can't risk the soldier's lives on some mad religious quest. I've a fortress to manage, you'll have to excuse me."
"There's more at stake here than one fortress!" he began, but I'd heard enough by then and was on my way out the door. A wise leader chooses the battles.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/s2fyty.png)
So. Ledi Tedshedkel. Known cat sympathizer and implicated leader of the revolt. I knew she'd be trouble one day. I have stationed Aik in the forge to confront any further trouble developing there, and ordered her to wield the adamantine hammer for the duration of these temper tantrums. I want to discipline the dissenters, not destroy them, and the hammer will keep injuries to a minimum while still posing a threat to any small four-legged pets that happen get in the way.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2cxjolc.png)
Lookouts spotted a couple of drunks to the east fleeing in terror from skorses. I guess they live here now. Tupu killed the lot of bony beasts as our two newest recruits, Kaamanen and Karakzon, entered into their new home and wooden breastplates. On a related note, we really need to start melting those bronze toys we have lying around the Depot.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2n6chox.png)
Another flagrant act of building destruction has taken place, this time in the upper surface level. When I get my hands on the person responsible I will take theirs away along with the ability to stand without assistance. We spent a year building all these bridges, confound it!
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2ytppmw.png)
The mayoral campaigns have ended. I cannot believe that weirdo actually bested Dariush in the latest election. Still, the laws the law, and I suppose the soldiers will be heading to that house any day now that Andreus can order them. I could order them not to if I really wanted to, but, eh. Should make a good show.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/25gz5ap.png)
Some of the less satisfied soldiers joined with the defectors. CatalystParadox is refusing to safeguard the protesters. For this he himself will be safeguarded, preferably by way of a silver war hammer. I'll see if we can tack vandalism on top of his insubordination.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/vgkfp5.png)
Not without just cause, actually. Instead of tending to the mad adamantine-throwing cat lover as requested, he's in the memorial hall tossing metal cages and making an obnoxious scene for the mourners. I'm glad the cage didn't hit any of the nearby children, since there was a HORSE inside and the hospital's got enough kids as it is.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/wm1q2f.png)
Ledi's instigating the other smiths, I just know she is. We've got to get her to a cell before she does any more damage. Unsafe working conditions my beard. The workers were far safer before they started trouble.
What a long day.
Felsite 2
boozedwarf shot Xellas the Doctor Mechanic in full view of the children, and while the resulting wound was minor but the incident demonstrates the chaos descending down on us. The Captain of the Guard were fitted with only non-lethal weapons to minimize the impact of our effort to instill order. Let's hope this ends quickly and quietly.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2zs7d79.png)
arcangelsd has the right idea, we can make pamphlets to attract the migrants. "Come to Failcannon, where every day alive is an adventure!" It wouldn't be all that much lying.
Felsite 5
(http://i53.tinypic.com/i74x7d.png)
The crackpot mayor is comfortable in his new position and issued a very reasonable mandate for someone with such screwy mental mechanisms.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/20725nc.png)
I'm glad there's one thing we can both agree on. With all the people howling in the halls all the time now, I'd want an axe too, if I didn't already carry one.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/zkllyb.png)
The only strand extractor we have working destroyed his workshop in a fit of rage and fled the scene. He hasn't been sighted by anyone since. This place is so vast and cryptic it takes forever to get anywhere or find anybody! It's enough to drive one mad, I tell you.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/jhae15.png)
I suppose the Mayor's new axe will have to wait.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/24q6ag6.png)
Traitors, all of you! Sons of goblins all! You'll pay for this! Is there anyone out there still loyal to our effort?
(http://i53.tinypic.com/etxidw.png)
Good Urist is still a good guy. I'll have him make me a new axe while he's doing the Mayor's.
Felsite 7
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2vacfmh.png)
The uprising continues to pick up momentum throughout the fort. Production has completely stalled out. The situation is intolerable. Today a smith named Lucus destroyed a bridge and fell on some wooden spikes thoughtfully placed underneath. He's moderately injured and trapped with walls on every side.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2cyslj.png)
Yet another example of the marvelous intellect these dwarves possess. Were they any more marvelous I would have remind them to eat when they're hungry and trapped in a room with "forbidden" food. I mean, even a dog would know better than that.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://i53.tinypic.com/6jq0xe.png)
Our guards are the laziest I've ever seen. Why is CatalystParadox still walking free to destroy the memorial garden? Clearly I have to find someone happy and hence loyal enough to go and actually deal with him. Fortunately there are still some proud to call this place home.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2u939k7.png)
Deathsword isn't taking this crisis lying down, unlike some other soldiers. I'm looking at you, That Aussie Dwarf.
Felsite 8
I'm pleased to say that CatalystParadox has been permanently dealt with.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/20ht276.png)
I'm less pleased to say that the guards used actual swords for their "beating." I'm mostly dismayed that some of the soldiers decided to use adamantine, and not in the form of a war hammer.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/25he5hd.png)
He bled to death in a bare stock room, and now dear Elderont has stopped working in support of the rioters. Shame on you, Elderont! Don't you know they're led by a mad dwarf out to force us to tolerate cats everywhere? Madness I say!
Felsite 10
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2cdk65t.png)
Damn it all, Lucus! We just got done rebuilding it! Or will you persist until one of those spears finds a way through your head?
Felsite 11
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2iaqs9e.png)
At the height of our unrest, crazy Mayor What's-his-name ordered half the militia into LordSlowpoke's old house to find just whatever it was he wanted in there.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/jgrrro.png)
The battle is still going hours later. The monster forced Cheese into the depths of some cloudy stagnant water connected to Slowpoke's house. Last time we'll ever see Cheese, I would wager. Who knows what's waiting in that awful water for him. Tupu joined the fray sometime after and the two have combated since.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2ag9c7.png)
I'm told that during the battle, the Mayor tried to get into the house and past the beast through a door in the back of the house. I'm told that he did not succeed. I hope that chain or whatever's worth losing your head over. Rest in peace, you poor loon.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/27zzukg.png)
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2ur5sm9.png)
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2ur5sm9.png)
Once the terrible lizard's rotting corpse was well on its way to the bone yard, the soldiers had a chance to investigate the house. Nothing out of the ordinary was found, just a few battered skeletons. No chain. Typical.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/a2u9kx.png)
All and well I suppose the mission went, but one soldier is no longer with us. May your watery grave be a peaceful one, Cheese.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2i89e7n.png)
Felsite 12
(http://i56.tinypic.com/10hkbdf.png)
That sneaky bandit Mountain-King is up to his (her?) old tricks, this time attacking an innocent Furnace Operator who refused to take part in the revolt. Megaman saw the assault taking place and rushed over to assist, but King took off like the venomous coward they are.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/24y1phc.png)
I cannot be blamed for the axe Mountain-King will be beaten with. There are plenty of jail cells open but it seems that with the Captain stationed at the gate the guards feel there's no need to actually use them.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/slguw7.png)
Mountain-King has been brought to justice. Rest in peace, you inconsiderate vandal.
Felsite 13
Security forces continue to deal with the dissidents.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2evxc9t.png)
AIK! It's supposed to be a HAMMER! A puny one!
(http://i53.tinypic.com/10gzrjn.png)
And WHY IS VEE helping you? He's not even in the fortress guard!
Oh wait, he's not helping, Vee's just bleeding crazy
(http://i53.tinypic.com/10ztrw1.png)
WHAT ARE YOU DOING LUCUS
That makes three times! The hell have you got against kaolinite bridges? And how did you manage a cave-in?!
(http://i53.tinypic.com/jzd3pg.png)
malkomk is as good as gone thanks to Lucus the barbarian vandal. This is why we punish building destruction! The farmer's blood is on the Third Third Hand's hands.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/14bixoi.png)
Oh great, just great, just when you think you have quite enough problems, the elves have to go and show up. I'm off to think of two reasons not to drown all of them before I do.
Felsite 15
A
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2dl9jlh.png)
Elves are deliciously stupid. Lucus was already sitting upon the Trade Depot with several mangled limbs thanks to the guards so I tried getting him to effect the trading, but found he was slightly too unconscious to barter effectively. Which, in this case, at first, amounted to pointing a weapon at the merchants and demanding all of the booze. I reconsidered. Elves have no real concept of garbage, see, which is great for us because we now have about a hundred fewer plain cloth bags clogging up our furniture stores and we got fifty sun berries out of the bargain. Maybe next year these unwashed heathens will bring us some better animals than the cows I intend to let starve.
Felsite 17
I need to discourage Mipe from killing any more recruits but it's really intimidating to talk to him, the way he plays with his knife while staring at you... I think I'll send that red-shirted dwarf to go do it, I hear he's a Competent Persuader.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/16blp1y.png)
Ah, see? That's exactly what I was worried about.
Felsite 19
The ranks of the vandals are swelling. Ledi's minions continue their vicious attacks on the miners. DorvenEngineering was caught alone in the hall earlier and fled for his safety. And most dastardly, a silver road by our entrance was completely destroyed by a disgruntled soldier who refuses to answer any questions or orders.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2whfst4.png)
One of these days, the halls will be quiet again. Until then I shall keep going to bed with the axe, which helps to stave off the nightmares.
Not sure why, it just does.
Felsite 21
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I don't leave my room anymore. Not safe. Nowhere safe. No one safe. No one but Tupu. I trust Tupu because if Tupu wanted us dead we'd already be so. He brings me all the news from outside.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2ywbbb4.png)
breadbocks succumbed to her injuries despite the Doctor's care. Baldflower gets the last laugh after all.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/1zdvhog.png)
Oh good gods. Aik, seriously, drop the damn sword before the other guards find a tall tower to fling you from.
I don't get it. Why aren't they using the nice new prison? I know there's no food in there yet but it's perfectly suited for our current dilemma. Do they simply not care? Do they long for the chance to shed their fellows' blood?
(http://i54.tinypic.com/9fp3t1.png)
Madness envelops me.
Felsite 23
(http://i52.tinypic.com/315g4zm.png)
I figured it out. This is Hell, and I'm here in Hell where dwarves fight to the death and the Diplomats go melancholy, never to return home. Whatever Dariush and he have been talking about in there all this time has eroded his mind and Queen Led's certain to hold us responsible. Nice going, Dariush.
Felsite 27
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2192o0x.png)
NOBODY TOLD YOU TO USE A SWORD AIK, FIND THE GOD DAMN HAMMER AND USE IT
Aik is out of control. She just won't use the hammer, she just won't. Have I not even the slightest control left in this place?
This won't do. I have to show my face out there again. I have to let the dwarves know there still walks an actual leader here. The presence of law is not gone. I must emerge.
I believe I'll begin with the house by the Ocean of Slime. I want to know what the short-lived Mayor threw his life away for.
Felsite 28
I'd just sent the guards to arrest the Cat Lady once and for all when I sought out LordSlowpoke's house deep within Failcannon and found just what the Mayor had desired there.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/33f3oef.png)
There in the caves before a vast ocean of poison sat a tall and lonely house, and in that mist-laden house and its blood-soaked floor was something I'd never seen before.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/25h32wg.png)
That's right, some ghost who thinks he's Lur Thiefwitch. I've seen everything, now.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 22, 2011, 05:49:41 am
Quote
I don't know how to make a cat crossbow, but when I do I'll certainly make one. I saw a link once about syndrome-inducing missiles, I have no idea where, but I'm pretty sure it can be modded in.
See if you can give cats some sort of "ammo" tag. THAT should make things interesting.
Quote
That Aussie Dwarf on the other hand seems completely bedridden. He's the one who couldn't stand, and is still in traction right now but I hope he'll take up a crutch pretty soon.
Hmm, The place is going to hell with rampant murder and treason in the corridors and I'm in a nice warm bed with, presumably, a working trigger finger and crossbow. I think I'll stay in the bed.
Post by: Michael_Almeida on July 22, 2011, 05:56:58 am
Dorf Name: Boozedorf III
Gender: Male
Profession: Axedwarf
Custom profession name: Dead Dorf
Post by: Dariush on July 22, 2011, 06:27:12 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 22, 2011, 06:37:43 am
Are you absolutely sure you don't intend to kill every named dwarf?
Considering my dwarf's bedridden and crippled, I think he'd be long-dead if Seth planned to do that.
Post by: arcangelsd on July 22, 2011, 07:26:29 am
arcangelsd has the right idea, we can make pamphlets to attract the migrants. "Come to Failcannon, where every day alive is an adventure!" It wouldn't be all that much lying.
Yay! My audience with Overseer Sethcreyd went better than expected! He let me make and hang my "Fortress Motivational posters" YAY
In his honour, I'll quote him in the first one of all:
And while I was admiring my work, Captain Aik passed by and I asked him for an opinion
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Karakzon on July 22, 2011, 10:26:30 am
least by the end of this the millatery wont give a damn and it shouldnt happen again.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 22, 2011, 11:24:16 am
lol....
least by the end of this the millatery wont give a damn and it shouldnt happen again.
I'm surprised EVERY dwarf in the fort doesn't have "Doesn't really care about anything anymore" by now.
Post by: Teneb on July 22, 2011, 12:52:00 pm
Well, there are the migrants and the huge death rate of old dwarfs.lol....
least by the end of this the millatery wont give a damn and it shouldnt happen again.
I'm surprised EVERY dwarf in the fort doesn't have "Doesn't really care about anything anymore" by now.
EDIT: Seth, could you change my profession name to "Loyalist"?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 22, 2011, 05:55:00 pm
Post by: davros on July 22, 2011, 06:43:13 pm
Don't ever let him out, because if the outside goes bad, he can be used as a migrant magnet.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on July 22, 2011, 06:44:57 pm
I suggest we take the happiest, loneliest, and most jaded dwarves in the fort, seal them in one of our many food stockpiles (and maybe annex the dining hall, a muddied area for a farm, and some materials for workshops), and let nature take its course for the rest of them, Highlander-style.
I've set up both of my houses just for the purpose. However, trying to get a farm working in the first one was the entire source of the Flooding of 529. I'm honestly ready to give that away for SCIENCE! and such. All that's missing is a stuff stockpile, but we can annex my nearby mausoleum for that given as it's rebuilt somewhere else.
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 23, 2011, 02:31:07 am
arcangelsd has the right idea, we can make pamphlets to attract the migrants. "Come to Failcannon, where every day alive is an adventure!" It wouldn't be all that much lying.
Yay! My audience with Overseer Sethcreyd went better than expected! He let me make and hang my "Fortress Motivational posters" YAY
In his honour, I'll quote him in the first one of all:
And while I was admiring my work, Captain Aik passed by and I asked him for an opinionI'll take it as an "They need more work"Spoiler (click to show/hide)
That picture keeps making me laugh, it really shows the essence of this place. arcangelsd is ecstatic right now despite missing a leg and his only negative thought is from being upset that a criminal could not be properly punished recently, which seems to be a common concern among the dwarves and one I share.
We're well prepared to secure any able-minded dwarves in case of a total catastrophe. I don't think we're in full-blown apocalypse mode just yet, but in the interest of caution I've identified a few good spots to sequester survivors in addition to the house:
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2yo4nio.png)
Robocorn's Hall is overflowing with prepared food and enough plump helmets for sustainable farming. It can be sealed from within by the bridge, has a great bedroom, and the wall can be broken down and rebuilt to allow access to irrigated sand. The only drawback will be rebuilding that wall, and that can be done when the undead are elsewhere to minimize the danger.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/t023pl.png)
The Tomb of LucusCasius has access to a strange muddied hallway with some underground trees and plants, while the tomb itself has a small stockpile of food and stone for building workshops. It wouldn't be an ideal situation but a survivable one. It looks like someone was prepared to be buried alive.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/29yles2.png)
Finally there's the entirety of Lower Failcannon. That's where most of the prepared food is stored, and there are forges, beds, workshops and a dining hall. There's muddy ground thanks to the laboratory, access to water, and the whole place can be sealed off with a lead bridge, but its size makes it more difficult to filter in the dwarves we want to keep safe. It's also right next to the Ocean of Slime and the majority of Aluonra's FB population.
We have several options, and hopefully we don't have to take one yet. If it gets really bad we can always send dwarves to all the safe spots and wait out the trouble. Statistics say at least one of them should survive.
Whatever happens, don't rely on Tupu for a solo survival. He can't do civilian work anymore. I don't even know how he's still holding the hammer and shield, but he can't carve bones anymore.
The bronze chain I'd heard so much about was lying on the ground beneath the ghostly dwarf looking sadly about the small room in which his body lay.
"Yes?" he intoned as I entered the room. "What do you want?"
"I was curious. A dwarf named Andreus said you were the ghost of a god."
With bitter eyes, the ghost looked down at himself. "I am a mortal soul now," he said.
"But before?"
"Before I was Lur Thiefwitch, the Jealous God, the Spire of Zeal. But before no longer matters. There is no after. Soon there will be no before. You and I shall meet in the oblivion after time in equal nothingness."
I nodded to myself. A forlorn haunt if I've ever seen one. They like to mope around their bodies and ruminate their past lives, and this one seems to have a bout of dementia to deal with. I tried to get more out of him but he is quite detached from rationality and so I left him to his quiet ramblings. He might be in there for a while, since we have to quarantine the area and I don't know when I'll get around to a memorial. There's just not enough time in a day.
1st Hematite
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2i7l0y8.png)
The butcher with a fondness for tainted meat has died from fever, shocking many without a basic understanding of hygiene. We buried his body after dumping it a puddle of water outside to rinse off.
Most of the dwarves here are migrants from the past few years, according to these records. Very few dwarves live more than couple years at Failcannon, so there's a healthy mix of jaded dwarves who seen it all and the innocent waiting to be traumatized. By now the good soldiers are near fully desensitized to tragedy, and while a good portion of angry recruits remain, the in-fighting is good for a variety of combat skills to rise, and I hope that soon they won't be complaining about the draft anymore. Sparring, Battlefailed style.
At any rate, with some intentionally misdirecting orders I was able to trap Aik in a closet long enough to convince her to disarm. Failcannon falls quieter now that the disgruntled workers are either dead or hospitalized. Perturbed as I am by the sanguine methods employed by our security, they appear to have weeded discontent out of our ranks, for now, at least, and so we may return to our important work.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/21dln48.png)
Poet has assumed the aspect of one fey, and was locked inside one of the cloth houses, where he's to stay until turning the entirety of that stockpile into whatever it is that he's making. Most fey dwarves stick with one or two pieces of their artifact's main component pieces, but not Poet: he's not allowed to! Whatever he's coming up with, he's officially mandated to make it as elaborate as dwarvenly possible.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2nqcx2d.png)
And please Poet, nothing useless. If you waste all that cloth, you're Uristein's new assistant.
Hematite 3
Uristein reports a breakthrough in bone block making. By pulverizing the bones and using a cartilaginous plaster we are finally able to use our vast collection of skeletons for something besides decoration. Things may be taking a somewhat unorthodox turn here at Failcannon, but there's nothing macabre about using your resources, and if there's one thing we have in abundance, it's bones.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/fc4sv5.png)
The possibilities are endless.
Hematite 9
Poet has finally finished gathering all the cloth in that tiny room so he was let out for some fresh air. He went to the surface and returned with the gargantuan bones of some creature we slaughtered a while ago. I still have no idea what he's making but it may turn out to be the most incredible bathrobe in all of history. I'm keeping those fingers crossed.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/mtniac.png)
Hematite 16
Almost all of those wounded during the trouble are back on their feet, more or less. Our doctors must be exceptional, I've never seen a dwarf allowed to use an artifact crutch before. I think Greader may actually prefer it to his leg.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/ofmyia.png)
The only people still showing their signs of unhappiness are the children who haven't any parents to keep them in line. Filthywalrus has been especially petulant since the passing of her mother. I've never had to console an orphan before so I'm rather hoping the problem disappears on its own.
Hematite 22
(http://i55.tinypic.com/21cdspe.png)
Hematite 24
(http://i51.tinypic.com/mt5z85.png)
Hematite 28
At last Poet unveiled his masterpiece. Let's see what he finally finished.
A pig tail fiber bag depicting much of the history of Dastog Cog's nobility leading up to the foundation of Failcannon. Notable images include the foundation of Battlefailed, the conquest of the goblins in 111, the first dwarven king of year 1, lots of renditions of Tuftedfatal the Roughness of Roaring the adamantine spear, the ascension of Queen Led, goblins falling to their death, dwarves dying of thirst, numerous renditions of the goddess Enshal, and pictures of various artifacts, including itself.
I dunno. It's a bit plain. Needs more cow bone.
Hematite 28
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2ekk4tj.png)
(http://i52.tinypic.com/358b7gl.png)
(http://i52.tinypic.com/35d8120.png)
(http://i56.tinypic.com/op08y0.png)
(http://i52.tinypic.com/358b7gl.png)
(http://i52.tinypic.com/35d8120.png)
(http://i56.tinypic.com/op08y0.png)
Goblin attack. Tupu has single-handedly dealt with a squad of archers and their trolls. Heh.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/bef21s.png)
A toothless, jolly old maddwarf was killed by the bridge he was building outside. Rest in peace Felcis.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/16m51tw.png)
Other than this, Dete took an arrow to the left hand but it's just a flesh wound. There were no other casualties. Goblin corpses closest to the gate have been collected for block making. Goblins throw their dead up on pikes to scare off invaders, but here we are far more resourceful. We have a city to build!
Galena 2
(http://i54.tinypic.com/7087e1.png)
With her mother and father both dead, Filthywalrus is considerably distressed and there's no one to look after her. Naturally she found her way to the upper level of the fort where the new trade access bridge is under construction.
The thing about bridges is that while they require less raw material than solid floors, they're also much easier to destroy, especially when you're the bulkiest three-year old this side of the Windy World. I sighed and prepared myself for the rebuilding of even more architecture and the engraving of several new headstones.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2prad8o.png)
This time, however, the target was not the bridge, but Elderont, who was thrown and plummeted four stories into the reeking ocean and nearly drowned to death. He managed to crawl out of the water before passing out from a fractured wrist and was taken to the hospital where he's since remained. I tried building a kitchen in the hospital for him but there just isn't any room.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/307pyd2.png)
It's only a matter of time before the guards come for Filthywalrus. I'll do what I can to protect her but the day will arrive. Luckily there are still many unclaimed coffins in the mortuary.
Galena 18
A human caravan pulled into our gates and unloaded their junk in the Depot. We'll purchase a variety of metals and gems in exchange for goblin clothes and wooden arrows. They're a different bunch of traders than last year's, I suppose that medicine was no help after all.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/20pv7r9.png)
LordSlowpoke is unhappy to be locked out of her own quarters. She just doesn't understand the concept of "quarantine." I'd send her off the Diving Board a few times as a lesson in manners but kids never sit still long enough.
Galena 20
(http://i56.tinypic.com/17cuiv.png)
See? Filthywalrus destroyed a bridge! I knew I wasn't just being paranoid!
(http://i51.tinypic.com/m7dqba.png)
She fell in the same waters that claimed boozedwarf and Draconik last year while building that very bridge. The ramps we dug after that incident have saved the girl's life. They might appreciate knowing their deaths weren't completely in vain. Here is where I'd make a contemptous remark about Fate's sense of fun but I wouldn't want it proved correct.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/1zqbiav.png)
Filthywalrus swam to the shore, drenched and smelly and angry, but alive. I decided to lock her outside for her own safety. There she can harm no one, and more importantly, no one can harm her, unless a sea monster comes out of the ocean or something, but no matter what horrors lay deep in the Blueness, until the Fortress Guard decides to make use of the pleasant new prison she's far better off staying put.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/kahcat.png)
Sprout the Surgeon ended the day by shooting a few bolts at Filthywalrus' older sister Gilgameshclone in the memorial hall. The eight year old has lost full use of her arm, and was rescued by DorvenEngineering and Kaamanen, the latter of whom did the stitches. Normally that would be Sprout's job, but for some reason I don't really trust her near kids at the moment.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2ir66hl.png)
I miss the Sprout from six months ago, who would lovingly carve the rotting tissue from Gilgameshclone's bare, filthy feet. The Sprout here and now would probably hack at them until she found an artery. Isn't it amazing what time can do to a person?
Galena 21
You'll pay for this, LordSlowpoke!
(http://i55.tinypic.com/33yj9td.png)
Sprout's daughter continues to act out. The plump helmet spawns not far from the field, it seems. It took all the willpower I have not to teach the little marauder why one does not punch the dwarf with an axe. Still, one has to applaud her daring. She'll make a fine villainess one day, if she somehow survives to adulthood.
Galena 24
Today I got some bad news.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/35829aw.png)
Painiac lost his temper dealing with the greedy humans and decided one of them needed a bolt in the chest. Well, the other humans took this unkindly and the marksdwarf was soon full of arrows himself, and since no one was sure what was happening, the entire militia rushed to our trader's aid.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/23sixhx.png)
From what I understand of the scuffle, Xenos lost a hand,
(http://i56.tinypic.com/24gnjeu.png)
but Tupu avenged her,
(http://i51.tinypic.com/nq3bte.png)
Kaamanen got his first kill,
(http://i54.tinypic.com/jickye.png)
Strategia improved her aim,
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2rpv9dy.png)
and all the humans are dead, so yes, another fine day for foreign relations. I guess human bone blocks are on the menu. If any good came out of this disaster, it's that all of the soldiers are now ecstatic from the joyful slaughter and all just a bit closer to not caring about anything anymore.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2q1vrt2.png)
This is how we train here at Failcannon. We don't need archery targets and Danger Rooms and other such frills. We just get into lots of fights and let the skills develop themselves. That's the thing about a place like this. Tupu is the prime example of what we're capable of. He's been here longer than almost any of us, has fought off goblins, monsters and the undead. Has survived unbelievable injury. Has endured much trauma and seen much death. And still he fights on, unfettered by circumstance. It would take the legions of the Underworld to stop him, and even they'd need earn their prize.
At a place like this, only the most exceptional people survive. If these folk live long enough to ever see Queen Led arrive, she'll be surrounded by the most vicious, bloodthirsty, hard-to-kill dwarves outside of a goblin tower, and many of them have a grudge against her. And she is not a spring chicken.
I doubt Queen Led will ever come here.
Galena 25
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2nuqemo.png)
For once LordSlowpoke, I agree with you. Mountain-King doesn't deserve such a nice coffin. This mess was all his fault to begin with. And Ledi's too. Which reminds me, I meant to find out if gabbro is magma-safe.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/xojv6f.png)
Galena 28
I passed a dead baby in the hall on my way to Lower Failcannon this morning. Grath was understandably unable to feed the child since her murder. The baby's father Elt was unable to feed the child on account of it being "not my bloody concern," as he put it.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/dg303c.png)
They say you can judge the worth of a people by how they take care of their offspring. With this in mind I'm tempted to let the goblins take our last kids away in the hopes of providing them a better life. Anywhere, literally anywhere would be safer than here.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2gucupf.png)
I want to pull that lever so badly right now, but the sign says I'll regret it. It could only add to the list.
Post by: Dariush on July 23, 2011, 02:46:59 am
Quote
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Tell me you didn't destroy half of my 'FUCK YOU' sign. NOW.
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 23, 2011, 03:10:43 am
But yes, it's down to this
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dariush on July 23, 2011, 04:22:48 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 23, 2011, 06:03:12 am
Post by: Ledi on July 23, 2011, 06:51:59 am
When you find the next cat-lover, could I have a Ledi V please? ^^
Post by: arcangelsd on July 23, 2011, 07:59:51 am
See? I told you guys! The place is going to hell and I'm safe and sound in a nice warm bed, being fed and tended to in the hospital. I've got the good life in Failcannon!
Hospital buddies! Now we are the safest dwarves in the fortress! Unless they start distributing crutches, of course xD
Post by: Dariush on July 23, 2011, 08:43:41 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 23, 2011, 09:05:17 am
See? I told you guys! The place is going to hell and I'm safe and sound in a nice warm bed, being fed and tended to in the hospital. I've got the good life in Failcannon!
Hospital buddies! Now we are the safest dwarves in the fortress! Unless they start distributing crutches, of course xD
Crutches? My dwarf's unable to walk at all. He's staying in bed, where it's nice and safe. You poor semi-able-legged fool
Post by: Mormota on July 23, 2011, 09:35:42 am
Edit: Name should be Mormota, obviously.
Post by: arcangelsd on July 23, 2011, 09:36:15 am
See? I told you guys! The place is going to hell and I'm safe and sound in a nice warm bed, being fed and tended to in the hospital. I've got the good life in Failcannon!
Hospital buddies! Now we are the safest dwarves in the fortress! Unless they start distributing crutches, of course xD
Crutches? My dwarf's unable to walk at all. He's staying in bed, where it's nice and safe. You poor semi-able-legged fool
Damnit! Surgeon! Hurry up and saw off my other leg! It's itchy!
Post by: Michael_Almeida on July 23, 2011, 10:28:45 am
Post by: da_nang on July 23, 2011, 10:48:57 am
Name: Seraphin
Gender: Male
Profession: Speardwarf
Custom Profession: Homicidal Poker
Post by: rampaging-poet on July 23, 2011, 11:37:58 am
Also, on an unrelated note, I recently realized the title of this thread ends in "Super Happy Fun Beach", not "Super Happy Beach Fun Prime" as my brain insisted on rendering it.
Post by: ImBocaire on July 23, 2011, 11:58:15 am
Maybe instead of rebuilding the "YOU," just put "OH" in front of it.
Post by: Groveller on July 23, 2011, 12:15:21 pm
Oh, they are? Well, it can be re-attached, can't it?
Oh. Well, I suppose I'd better request another Grov, then.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 23, 2011, 03:18:28 pm
But yes, it's down to thisSpoiler (click to show/hide)
Pretty much sums up the place. Putting it in the OP if that's okay.
Post by: NightmareBros on July 23, 2011, 04:00:58 pm
So I guess it's time to ask for a redwarfing.
Post by: Remalle on July 23, 2011, 04:38:33 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on July 23, 2011, 06:01:45 pm
Have come back from the dead yet?
Speaking of this place, I'm looking at the most recent save and noticed a bunch of living, non-skeletal wild horses. At least my FPS is decent. Somehow my currently played fortress is more of a pathing nightmare than this...
According to dwarf therapist, Dariush III is the only survivor from wave one, and Tupu the only survivor from wave two. I can't remember if DorfT counts the starting seven as wave 1 or 0... Really quite interesting to know that a LOT of the dwarves that died in your reign have been here quite a while.
I'm also surprised by the sheer number of dwarves that died during pump stack construction through sheer negligence to their inferior intellect. the fortress population could have been 30-40% higher!
Post by: kisame12794 on July 23, 2011, 07:22:39 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 23, 2011, 07:22:56 pm
I'm also surprised by the sheer number of dwarves that died during pump stack construction through sheer negligence to their inferior intellect. the fortress population could have been 30-40% higher!
You say that like it's a good thing.
EDIT: AARGH NINJA
Post by: Eric Blank on July 23, 2011, 07:26:31 pm
Post by: Mormota on July 24, 2011, 03:07:48 am
According to dwarf therapist, Dariush III is the only survivor from wave one, and Tupu the only survivor from wave two. I can't remember if DorfT counts the starting seven as wave 1 or 0... Really quite interesting to know that a LOT of the dwarves that died in your reign have been here quite a while.
I am fairly sure that Dwarf The Rapist counts the starting seven as wave 1, but it might be interesting to see that if a wave is annihiliated, then what happens to the number of the rest of the waves? Basically, will there always be a wave 1?
Post by: CatalystParadox on July 24, 2011, 03:12:03 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Hooooooly Armok that made my night. As if Failcannon itself were expressing its shock at events that had just come to pass.
Speaking of which... rest in peace, CatalystParadox the animal dissector. We hardly knew ye. He died a conscientious objector, seemingly the only one who anticipated the consequences of mandated beatings with adamantine short swords.
He was also apparently a conscientious objector to cobaltite doors.
Redorf as any new migrant please? Keep original name (Edit: clarification - I mean the dorfs name, not CatalystParadox), custom profession "Elven Studies Major".
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 24, 2011, 03:52:26 am
Post by: Scaraban on July 24, 2011, 05:14:58 am
Post by: Dariush on July 24, 2011, 06:06:49 am
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 24, 2011, 06:26:40 am
(http://i55.tinypic.com/25yzj1w.png)
Limestone 1
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2zoyhe8.png)
Woodcutters spotted a winged dragon down in the caverns today. We've sealed the gate indefinitely. Enough dwarves are dying without being lit on fire.
Limestone 3
Tongsoracle, the self-referential half-million dollar cloth bag, was placed atop the Third Hand's Tower as an offering to the gods. On paper, anyway. In practice it will be witnessed only by those charged with dropping goblins off the top, and it's only there for the time so it isn't stolen.
Limestone 5
A small band of migrants braved the bone-filled beach to join our cause, just in time to join our dwindling population before the dry season. NightmareBros, Mormota, Seraphim and Grov were handed their weapons and told to clean up some of our murder scenes. There was also a young furnace operator named Ledi V and wouldn't you know it, she has a cat. Fate continues to mock me.
Limestone 7
(http://i53.tinypic.com/igmalv.png)
The Captain of the Guard is as persistent as she is violent! She found the Third Third Hand on the Depot and, though deprived of a true weapon, still managed to finish the job her guards started last month. At least Lucus finally paid for malkomk's death. Justice, as it were, has been served.
Aik is currently issued a fancy wooden elvenmake sword, and I'm happy to report she was seen using it. She hates it, but she's using it.
Limestone 15
(http://i54.tinypic.com/6zljqx.png)
Gilgameshclone emerged from the hospital mumbling to herself and brought a log of wood to a craftshop. I expect that whatever she creates will make good kindling for the dragon that's bound to find a way into the fortress some day.
Sandstone 8
(http://i52.tinypic.com/o0dk6q.png)
Well, damn. Urist McLost died of thirst in the hospital. Looks like That Aussie Dwarf's gravy days are in danger. Sprout's normally the one feeding patients, but I guess she's too busy desecrating graves to be bothered with that, so... Poet! You like helping others, right? No? Well, everyone else is doing something, so guess what your new job is.
Sandstone 9
(http://i53.tinypic.com/ncf250.png)
Gilgameshclone is now a legendary wood crafter thanks to her silly harp. She returned to the hospital quite pleased with hereself, and I admit it's nice to see a child smiling for a change.
Oh crap, that reminds me. Someone should check up on Filthywalrus.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/104qo2a.png)
Sandstone 15
Goblin thief came through the front gate today. The Dancing Dagger killed it and was bestowed an honourable title by his comrades.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/28nfxf.png)
All Hail Dancing Dagger Mipe Rootedfortresses, The Painful Strong-Cat of Oil! My, does that bear repeating.
Sandstone 27
I can't take this place anymore! I'm losing my mind! These ingrates don't appreciate anything I've done to keep them safe! I need a better house! Why the HELL isn't the bridge finished yet?! I Arrgghgh!
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2008jd4.png)
Damn it, Seth! Get a hold of yourself! Imagine if the cats saw this!
Timber 2
An argument broke out between Xellas and Kaamanen at the public well. One of them cut the line or something and before you know it Kaamanen has a broken hand and Xellas is now walking around with a pick in his chest. DuckThatQuacks chased off the mad doctor and brought Kaamanen to the infirmary, where Deathsword took his own turn beating the helpless Surgeon lying in his hospital bed. It's sad to see such a noble butcher of cats fall so sharply.
Timber 6
Deathsword was taken to prison early this morning. I'm happily amazed that it's finally going to use. I'm less happily amazed that Xellas still walks free.
Timber 13
(http://i56.tinypic.com/29ymjc2.png)
(http://i52.tinypic.com/14jx314.png)
(http://i52.tinypic.com/14jx314.png)
Well isn't that something, I pulled this unlabelled lever in the main hall and a monster from the caverns appeared on the beach and killed TerrisH! Tupu took care of the great salt beast before it could murder again, but I mean, really. Who could be fiendish enough to install such a remarkably simple and twisted defensive device?
(http://i51.tinypic.com/20kdlhf.png)
I put a label on the lever now that I know what it does. Learning is fun.
Timber 16
(http://i54.tinypic.com/1hdzc7.jpg)
I don't get it. Deathsword was so happy a few months ago. What happened to him?
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2ch95i8.png)
Poor Butcher. He was always so loyal.
* * *
Meanwhile,
(http://i55.tinypic.com/10s7y8y.png)
Far away in the Points of Grasping,
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2vuzprl.png)
in the ancient city of Graspedseduce, the dwarves arise from oppression:
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2gsq3p1.png)
The clashing of swords and roaring of combat leaked through the marble walls of the Great Temple of the Order of Death, where Queen Led Shakeoars and her most trusted aides were holed up in shelter against the chaos outside. The dwarven rebels had marched on the capital, and Graspedseduce was burning.
"The dwarves have taken the last tower, Majesty! It's only a matter of time before they breach the Temple!"
Despite what should have been dire news, Led Shakeoars continued to smile her thin lips beneath the oversized hood of her robe.
"Your Majesty!"
"Ushat," she addressed her priest in a crackling voice. "Only Death may breach her Temple."
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2lkp5yh.png)
"They will arrive any moment!"
There was a flash in the Queen's weary eyes. "As the day comes to pass, this rebellion will be over. Soon my reign will be sealed."
"But your Majesty-"
"Silence, worm. Is the offering prepared?"
"Yes, but-"
"Then bring it below."
(http://i51.tinypic.com/qxut1j.png)
The old man set the foul-smelling barrel down beside a pool of crystalline water. Engravings of death and demons from ancient tales stared down at him accusingly. Not for the first time in his service to the Queen, the old man felt uncertain. He stared straight ahead across the pool, where, between the images of two trees, sat an engraving of a coffin with a dark spirit hovering above. The image distracted him, branded searingly upon his thoughts.
"Now," whispered the Queen next to him.
The old man hesitated for a moment. There would be much suffering. But it was the only way to set them all free.
He opened the barrel. Inside, a putrid purple liquid rippled ominously. The old man held his breath, tried not to gag, and poured the barrel into the water, which took on a red tinge that spread through the pool like a flame.
"The lives of a thousand unborn, my Lady!" shouted the Queen as loud as her hoarse throat allowed. "We give them to you, that you may claim what is rightfully yours!"
(http://i56.tinypic.com/nqtkt2.png)
An emerald light flickered blindingly against the marble walls. The bloodied water bubbled and boiled as though a vast heat had enshrouded it, and from the pool emerged a molten hand that grabbed hold of the old Queen, and with her body tore bursting through the temple ceiling. The royal entourage looked on aghast before the colossal limb came crashing back down on the Temple and brought it crumbling to the dusted ground, crushing everyone within.
Outside, the Queen's body tumbled onto the pavement, and fell motionless, a heap of utterly broken gore. A few loyal soldiers looked on in disbelief, and slowly approached the familiar royal robes, now tattered and stained.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/34qjq0m.png)
The fleshy hand bored deep through the earth itself, dissolving through the ground like an insatiable acid as it seethed into the caverns, leaving behind a smoldering trail. Miles beneath the deathly Temple, passing stone engraved in a time before time, the hand of Death continued down, devouring the land as it delved.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/34glg77.png)
Through the mantle of the earth itself dove the hand until it came upon the adamantine seal below, and upon their meeting came an explosion so vast and tremulous it was heard far across the continent to the far reaches of the Plains of Ooze.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The dwarves and humans abandoned their battle to the catastrophic quakes and eerie howls taking hold of the city. Soon the massive ungodly shapes of the Underworld's denizens were everywhere, shadowy blurs through the sky ripping houses and tearing trees from their roots as they bled out of sight, great salt wolves leaping from buildings to shred any victim in sight.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/35a51sj.png)
In minutes not a single living soul was left in the open. The terrified citizens of the city took shelter in the few spared homes while the creatures of darkness swarmed through the streets, pillaging their victims for barbaric trophies.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/msp1e8.png)
Later, when the sun had retreated beyond the western horizon, a hollow laughter could be heard beside the ruined Temple. Endless, breathless, the cackling rose in pitch and fervor unnaturally, ceaselessly.
Trembling with unsteady, hollow joy, the Queen of Graspedseduce slowly arose to her feet. "Thank you, my Lady, thank you," she laughed in a breathless whisper.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2mea9gz.png)
* * *
"Stay back! Back, I say!"
(http://i56.tinypic.com/99l1f5.png)
"Run for it!" Andreus yelled to Glacial as he bolted for the door. The apprentice was not far behind him as the angry shouts faded to a safe distance. "Did you see that?" the Magister yelled. "They wanted to kill me! And I only just died!" The two entered the Sanctum and bolted the door. Heaving for air, the wizard reached for a wet towel and held it to his forehead.
"The whole place has gone crazy," Glacial said. "You can't even get a bucket of water in peace anymore."
"It isn't just Failcannon. The whole Universe has gone to the madhouse. We're doomed." Andreus sank down in his chair. "We might as well hold the door wide open for the goblins and hope..."
He trailed off, staring ahead. He turned in his seat and reached to a shelf, took down a small vial of poison from the Slime Ocean, and held it to the torchlight.
"Of course. Of course. Why didn't I realize this sooner?"
"Realize what?"
"If this is a place where the worlds intersect... it makes perfect sense for Led to send dwarves here to die. For every dwarf that dies here in the current chaos, that intersection grows wider. A great bulge is forming in a very thin line around our reality, and if it ruptures, nothing will hold the realms of life and death apart. For any world. It's as if we're the spleen of the multiverse, about to rupture."
"That sounds bad."
"It is. But my point is, if Led knows all this, and stands to profit the way I suspect she will, then try her best she will to widen the gap. When the Seal goes for good, she'll be able to raise an army from our own dead to take the fortress from us and use the gap to traverse the worlds, conquering each with her forces as they go. She needn't ever set a foot outside Graspedseduce to do that."
Glacial turned white. "Just how many people have we buried here at Failcannon?"
"Too many. The place is as good as theirs."
The apprentice mage turned away, glancing sadly at the floor. "Curse you forever, Lur Thiefwitch!" Andreus shouted at the sky. "You've ended us all!"
"You can tell him yourself," Glacial said. "He's trapped in LordSlowpoke's basement."
Andreus blinked. "You mean it worked?"
"Oh, the summoning? Yeah."
The wizard stepped deliberately toward his apprentice. "Why-didn't-you-SAY-SO?!" he roared.
"You didn't ask!"
(http://i52.tinypic.com/24weyr8.png)
* * *
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2ni2oeg.jpg)
Moonstone 1
Someone throwing a tantrum has tossed the corpse of Grath's baby across the room where it's sat since she died. Aik continued to try and administer beatings to the forge workers in the name of law and order, but soon grew disgusted with the situation and threw down her sword. Thank the stone for little things.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wrjm06.png)
Moonstone 3
(http://i56.tinypic.com/16gy3v5.png)
Xellas continues to injure the other workers. I don't think he knows where he is anymore and I expect he'll be in chains any day now. Like Deathsword, whom I hear is being left to starve.
Moonstone 23
(http://i53.tinypic.com/21e7r6h.png)
ArcaneSaint has gone insane. The poor girl was seen gibbering to herself in a fetal position somewhere down in the depths of our halls.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/34j7t6v.png)
I don't know what happened to break her spine but... ugh. Gods. These children never had a chance. Poor fools. Stupid parents, who brings their kids to a place like this? Or maybe they had about as much choice as the kids themselves?
Opal 1
(http://i53.tinypic.com/adjc5f.png)
Things are getting quieter.
Opal 7
(http://i51.tinypic.com/doowmq.png)
Things are about the same.
Opal 11
(http://i53.tinypic.com/se2cf8.png)
Sighhhhhh
Sighhhhhh
Opal 12
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2cy3z49.png)
Xellas continues his ongoing effort to murder Kaamanen. His latest attempt was with a silver bolt near the sacrificial chamber, where the molded old skeletons of the trolls still remain.
Opal 13
(http://i52.tinypic.com/3x6c0.png)
Xellas has killed Kaamanen's dog. Whatever the Combat Surgeon did to piss off the Doctor Mechanic so badly, it needs to stop. If this is still because of that petty squabble at the well, I'll have them both shot down. I HATE THIS PLACE SO GOD DAMN MUCH
Okay, deep breaths. Just have to remind myself of all the silver we have. Wonderful, wonderful silver.
Opal 14
(http://i56.tinypic.com/6te5a9.png)
The workers are starting to take their fight to the Fortress Guard again. Poet's trying to kill Aik in the warehouse as I write this. I'm not sure what's worse, the guards killing the people or the people killing each other. At least they all wait their turn.
In other news, it took me some time to realize Derm the Glassmaker was wandering the halls without a purpose but was not actually picking a fight with anyone. A little investigation revealed that all glass furnaces were in ruin thanks to Ledi IV's revolt, and once they were rebuilt, Derm wasted no time in getting back to work. Good ol' Derm, he makes me glad. This place can't be a total ruin as long as dwarves are still feeling inspired.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2cctcp1.png)
He's gathered some glass and is heading now for some wood. I hope he makes a giant glass spike I can use to trap my quarters once I lock myself inside forever and escape from this lunatic dungeon.
Opal 16
Lupusater has stabbed Nightmarebros in the foot outside the meeting hall. It's dangerous to go alone. Everyone is recommended to travel armed at all times, if even only with a wooden sword.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/r7m3vk.png)
Opal 20
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2zspsex.png)
nonobots went berserk in the hospital, tried to throttle Little McArthur. Poet was sent to break up the fight and did so ruthlessly. This is a fortress of nightmares, a festering sore on the face of the planet. Were the sea to swallow us up the world would be safer.
Opal 23
(http://i56.tinypic.com/21d4ck1.png)
Deathsword died of thirst in prison while LordSlowpoke looked on, guzzling a barrel of wine right in front of him. She'll make a fine doctor someday.
Opal 28
(http://i51.tinypic.com/15czo75.png)
Damn it, Poet. You've strayed a long way from Tongsoracles, you bloodthirsty weaver.
I can't technically order him killed because he's not technically going berserk. I've been wondering why Aik isn't dealing with this ruffian but she's been very conveniently asleep throughout his entire rampage. Looks like it's time to swell the ranks of the Guard again.
Obsidian 1
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2lnfqxv.png)
It's grown so quiet here. Only the sounds of the sea can be heard when you're outside. Everything is so tidy now. Such a lovely lie.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/ev7z29.png)
All right, Poet, that's it. As Overseer I'm now officially seeking an end your life.
Obsidian 2
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2yovdk2.png)
I think I know what's happening now. With Aik asleep and no one else in the Guard, Poet took it upon himself to enforce the law. You know, that set of rules supposed to keep people safe. Then he got upset with seeing people die and just started killing whatever got in his way. A strange but dwarven psychology. Every day you learn something new, like why it's bad to let dwarves with adamantine grow unhappy.
Obsidian 3
Still prowling about the warehouse, Poet made the mistake of attacking Tupu while the Champion was getting a new flask.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2rn9dv9.png)
That was a big mistake. And so Tupu saves the fortress once again, this time from our psychotic weaver. I'm glad Tupu's still of sound mind. Poet is now a wrangled mess on the floor and I don't suspect he'll live much longer.
Obsidian 5
Poet has died. Rest in peace, Creator of Tongsoracle. May you find in death the sanity this place took from you.
Obsidian 6
(http://i53.tinypic.com/f57leh.png)
Somebody vandalized Derm's glass furnace and dumped magma on his wonderful masterpiece-in-progress. Derm took one look at the ruined workshop and completely lost his mind. Rest in peace, Derm, in advance. I can't believe anyone would do that to a moody dwarf! That's about the lowest you can go. For shame, you murderous vandals. Now we'll never get that worthless glass trumpet I was so looking forward to.
Obsidian 8
(http://i54.tinypic.com/9jfviw.png)
Xellas is still on the loose. Today he turned his rage on Ledi V, and for a novice fighter she defended herself well.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/1jx2km.png)
The way she bit and scratched, I imagine she learned how to fight from her animal. Oh, did I mention that LAAT and the insane glassmaker somehow got involved in this?
(http://i52.tinypic.com/sl5moy.png)
Oh, Derm didn't use his own axe, that's probably wherever he left his clothes. No, he used the axe that LAAT had just stuck into his chest as he was walking by babbling to himself. LAAT bled to death from a mangled heart soon afterwards and Xellas followed his example after Ledi stuck his throat.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/1h2w5y.jpg)
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2cs8nxy.png)
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2cs8nxy.png)
So LAAT and xellas are both dead, Ledi's unscathed, Derm is doomed no matter how impressive, the entire hallway is FILLED with blood and I've buried my face in my hands for the past hour. It's only half past noon, but when I return to my quarters I'm going to bed.
Obsidian 12
I found Filthywalrus today.
* * *
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2me7dj4.png)
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2me7dj4.png)
It was the twelfth of Obsidian when the goblins came for Failcannon. No ordinary goblins, bred from the darkest bowels of the Underworld, their red eyes gleamed in the direction of the fortress as their leader Stozu let out a booming laugh. "Ustol na ospo asto!" he roared. The goblins clapped their weapons down on the shale and marched forward. To the north, the second squad was wading through the flooding water pouring forth from the front gate. There was no way inside, but it mattered not. They would wait until the dwarves had no choice but to fight for their trade. Or simply let them all starve to death. Stozu smiled. Queen Led would reward them all well in the new world to come.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2a4zszq.png)
"Open the inner floodgates!" came the call from within the fort. A great waterfall surged out into the ravine overlooking the trade entrance. The invaders fell back to the beach above, driven off by the stink of the Blueness.
As the invaders gathered together by the gate, the day suddenly darkened. The tides assembled to rage against the rocks as the winds of storm began to brew. Soon the horizon blackened and as lightning coursed along the clouds, a dazzling luminescence rumbled through the air as two great dark eyes appeared in the sky.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/10oe0k3.png)
Deep within the fortress, Andreus was shrieking with growing impatience at the sad-looking ghost floating above. "Come on, Thiefwitch! You have to remember! We're running out of time!"
"All is lost," the ghost bemoaned. "Everything comes to an end."
Andreus screamed his frustration, grabbed the chain and tossed it out of the room. Lur's ghost was dragged along like a paper doll and fell straight through the floor, through which his sobbing could be heard.
"It can't end this way!" the wizard screamed. "There must be a way out!"
From the sundered sky issued forth an emerald bolt of lightning that coursed through the sand and shocked the very stone surrounding the fortress. A section of rock gave way to the plasmic fire and a great ledge of shale smashed its way through half of the fortress before coming to a stop in the ocean below.
(http://i55.tinypic.com/28u49bt.png)
(http://i53.tinypic.com/34ydamf.png)
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2rduclw.png)
(http://i53.tinypic.com/34ydamf.png)
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2rduclw.png)
The rock came back through the ground, clutching a writhing dwarf screaming bedlam as the stones carried him far into the sky. The unblinking eyes in the sky narrowed down and a low voice, barely a whisper, nonetheless rose above the chanting of the goblins and the roaring of the storm to be heard by everyone present.
"Hello, dwarves. This is your Queen, Led Shakeoars. You have done well in building this fortress, but your service is no longer needed. The Lady of Death for whom I speak requires only your corpses. We shall begin now with that of the one who calls himself your Overseer, your leader. You have only one leader now." The rocks surrounding the dwarf in the sky glowed with a red intensity, then collapsed together in an explosion louder and more terrible than any mortal ears had heard before.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2w4k7xk.png)
Panicked shouts picked up throughout the fort. As the dust settled from the blast, another plasmic bolt came crashing upon the beach from the sky. From the sand grew forth a sinister structure with shards of bone clawing around the ivory walls and sinewy strands woven across it.
(http://i54.tinypic.com/5jy7ew.png)
"You are all the first sacrifices to the New World," whispered the Queen's voice. "Failcannon is now the High Temple of the Order of Death. And soon your bones shall kneel before us too!"
(http://i52.tinypic.com/md2sg4.png)
The broken masses of the undead defeated on the beach stirred once again, and as the sky glowed with hellish fire and the sea darkened and bubbled like pitch, hobbling their shattered pieces, one by one, the skorses knelt as one before the unholy monument.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/i2k03l.png)
"This isn't happening," Andreus chuckled. "It's not real! Not real!"
"Start bringing people back to life!" Glacial screamed. "There's still time!"
"I can't!" Andreus laughed loudly. "This body's no good for magic!"
"O cruel destiny," Lur's voice pleaded aloud. "O fettered Gods. Only watch us disappear!"
"Teach me the secret! I can try!"
"There isn't enough time!"
"More time," Lur begged to the air. "We need more time..."
"Glacial," Andreus said. "Get me the Journal!" He looked at his apprentice, who stood with his back turned, staring at the wall. "Glacial?"
As the apprentice turned around, Andreus gasped in shock.
* * *
"Ura."
The skeletal goddess turned around to face the speaker who'd managed to startle her. Her grin shone out from out the black cloak she wore as she observed the Windy World from the hollow skull atop her lofty Tower in the Plains of Ooze, the Tower looking over the fortress once known as Battlefailed.
"Why Thoth." Death held her bony palm out to the sea. "Are you hear to pledge alliegence at my hour of victory?"
"No." The godling crossed his arms as emerald lightning rent the sky. "You've gone too far, again. You need to be stopped."
"I see," Ura grinned. "All the others have fled or been cast down. But I expect you are going to stop me yourself?"
"No," Thoth said. He pointed behind. "I have help."
Ura's grin seemed to widen. "Little god, I am very old. I've known Lur a very long time. You cannot trick me with such foolishness."
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2eedlpt.png)
As the great Toad pounded upon the dark goddess from behind and sent her sprawling, Thoth leapt forward, seizing his one opportunity, that singular moment of surprise, his form shimmering and transforming in mid-air. With a roar, he fell upon Death with lion's jaws.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/11s165z.png)
In a greenish flare and an incoherent howl, the skeletal deity slackened and fled the Windy World. Her skeletal body dissolving, without a body here, for now, at least, Ura could no longer directly mingle in mortal affairs. The mortals were gifted with time, and hopefully that was enough. The great Toad, duty served, croaked and returned to his watery home in the caves until needed again.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/24decf4.png)
Thoth struggled to drag his lion's form to its feet. The energies released by Ura's banishment would mean his own life was soon to end, but if the Seal could be restored, then he would not be lost forever. In peace, as the lapping of ocean waves took over his consciousness, Thoth curled into a ball and mutely died.
* * *
"What is it?" Glacial asked, bewildered. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know?" Andreus looked at the shoe he was wielding aloft. "Weren't you just a skeleton?"
"Was I?"
A terrible cry split through the ears of everyone in the fort, then faded away.
"What in Lur's name is that?" wondered Glacial.
"A chance," the ghost of Thiefwitch moaned.
Obsidian 12, Winter Solstice
Fortress Log, Anonymous
The Overseer is dead. Goblins are everywhere outside. Something very strange has just taken place, but for now, I think, the weather has cleared...
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2llzij6.png)
Post by: Dariush on July 24, 2011, 07:31:43 am
Post by: Scaraban on July 24, 2011, 07:46:42 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 24, 2011, 08:06:23 am
Quote
Well, damn. Urist McLost died of thirst in the hospital. Looks like That Aussie Dwarf's gravy days are in danger. Sprout's normally the one feeding patients, but I guess she's too busy desecrating graves to be bothered with that, so... Poet! You like helping others, right? No? Well, everyone else is doing something, so guess what your new job is.
That was a big mistake. And so Tupu saves the fortress once again, this time from our psychotic weaver. I'm glad Tupu's still of sound mind. Poet is now a wrangled mess on the floor and I don't suspect he'll live much longer.
The fort survived an apocalypse, there's a goblin siege beating on the door, a rampant tantrum spiral/civil war in the hallway and I've lost not one, but TWO servingdwarves. This is a goddamn nightmare! Who the hell's going to take care of my food and water needs NOW!?
edit - Can i get my dwarf's title changed to "Aspiring Nobledwarf"?
Post by: Eric Blank on July 24, 2011, 11:27:50 am
Yet somehow I get the feeling this fortress is about to draw to a close, as it was autumn last you gave us a date and the next overseer may not be so competent/insane to succeed in keeping some people alive while being willing to undertake such an elaborate and deadly screenplay for story development's sake.
My diagnosis: OH FUCK.
Have my ghosts reappeared yet, by the way?
Did you perhaps use rumrusher/that other guy that makes more sense's method for fortress retirement to retire failcannon while you did the whole demons in the city/rebellion thing? So that those changes are real and observable within the save? And was Thoth's fight all done in the arena? If this is merely some form of save/artistic sorcery then I hope I come back as an angry ghost and possess Queen Led whenever she arrives.
Post by: Johuotar on July 24, 2011, 12:30:37 pm
/understatement
EDIT: How did he do all that, the spider and the rest?
Post by: Karakzon on July 24, 2011, 04:24:26 pm
whos the best warrior and does he seem fit to take on the god of death? :)
just idle speculation. This has been a great read. :P wait the ending with anticipation. if it is indeed the end.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on July 24, 2011, 04:47:23 pm
Spoiler: Journal of LordSlowpoke I, Obsidian 12 (click to show/hide)
Yeah, I'm doing this.
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 25, 2011, 12:52:20 am
"For the time. Thoth did exactly what he was supposed to."
"A rather cold outlook for you."
"It's not yet time for joy, nor sorrow. Yet we will see him again. I do not intend to abandon him to oblivion. If the Seal is saved, things will eventually return as they were."
"And when the Seal is destroyed?"
"Then we will go to war if we must to save him."
"The Conflict of Atrocities."
"I'm afraid it is inevitable."
"We shall all lose something. No one can win such a war, Kigok."
"I know you are not that naive, Otik. Someone would win that war, and it has to be us."
* * *
Deprived of the fell powers holding it aloft, the demonic symbol cracked and crumbled to the ground.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/dwpg89.png)
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2cct6pf.png)
(http://i51.tinypic.com/2cct6pf.png)
At the goblin bone trading bridge overlooking the eastern walls, Tupu had gathered twenty dwarves to make a stand against the invasion force. "Lads," he said. "I have no idea what just happened, but there's bones to collect. Now get out there and make these goblins never live to regret this day!"
The bridge fully extended, and the dwarves and goblins charged forward to match blades.
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2z682h5.png)
(http://i56.tinypic.com/x0vbyt.png)
(http://i56.tinypic.com/x0vbyt.png)
When the goblins were soundly defeated, Failcannon still stood, a proud and defiant speck against the long, lonely coastline of the Bluenuess of Malodors.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2eyaruc.png)
That evening, then the weary and wounded dwarves settled to their ale and roasts, the in-fighting finally calming, Andreus and Glacial walked cautiously across the damp sand in search of the former Overseer's body. Failcannon hardly needed any more ghosts at the moment. In the southwest where the fortress met the shoreline, the great spider loomed, a shadowy sentinel against the sea's horizon.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/2mh8uwg.png)
"What happened today, Andreus?"
"To speculate, I'd say the Universe became a bit more fair than it once was."
"Look," Glacial said in awe as they walked with the body back toward the gate.
"I have eyes," Andreus said.
"There's so many of them! I never noticed how many until they were gone."
"A great many things are like that."
"Does this mean it's over?"
"As far as I know the Seal is still damaged. Queen Led may still be out there. The Shadow is yet to be dealt with. I expect Death has only been waylaid. But this is a good sign, I think."
(http://i54.tinypic.com/vgv1d.png)
* * *
As the once prosperous city of Graspedseduce sat in smoking ruin, the guards were providing what little food and water could be managed from within the shattered temple. By the door, the old man huddled over anxiously, wondering when the demons would come for them. He could stall perhaps one demon, but any more would overwhelm him. None of this had been in the visions. This was all very disheartening.
The temple doors burst suddenly open and the old man sprang to his feet like a youth but a quarter his age. But instead of a demon stood a hunched, impossibly thin figure wrapped in a robe of darkest midnight. The old man drew back in horror.
"You're alive!"
"Alive? Not quite, you insolent frog. Far more than that."
"But I saw you die!"
"Silence! Do you not know who I am?
(http://i51.tinypic.com/apeeyf.png)
And I will never die."
* * *
A Letter to the Next Overseer:
If you're reading this, then I've probably been killed by the rioters since, were I alive, we could have this discussion in person.
The place is more organized than two years ago, there are more goods are in bins, but the place is still a mess. The dwarves are drafted with assigned clothing and weaponry, and most of the dwarves still alive are happy enough. There are about seven dwarves in the hospital but Seraphin has no tasks assigned but healthcare and I expect everyone should recover. I don't think there's any poison left on the floor, either, there was a staircase covered in poison blood from a beast killed years ago but that should be gone now.
Oh, almost forgot, the primary metal and armor stockpiles are completely flooded by the Ocean of Slime.
(http://i51.tinypic.com/1g2kaa.png)
I added some notes explaining stuff I added or learned about. If there's an unlabelled lever I have no idea what it does.
Have fun, you brave soul.
* * *
Regarding Graspedseduce: Those engravings were put there by world gen. That was an actual embark to the actual Graspedseduce. The process was basically this:
1. Downloaded Battlefailed save from the end of turn 2, loaded in DF 31.06 and abandoned
2. Located Graspedseduce and embarked there, saved and reloaded in 31.25
3. Took screenshots and dug down until HFS
I uploaded a save of Graspedseduce here (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4725) if you'd like to take a look. By using dfreveal you can check out the underground engravings or just dig to them the old-fashioned way. The one thing I couldn't get around was Queen Led dying of old age as soon as embarking there. It happens every time, even with immortal humans.
Spoiler: Graspedseduce (click to show/hide)
Anyway, the game itself came up with that stuff, I just tried to present it in the narrative. The Spider/Ampersand monument took two years to build, made mostly of bone blocks. I knocked down the big demonic symbol since it felt like the right thing to do, but the spider's still there.
Did you perhaps use rumrusher/that other guy that makes more sense's method for fortress retirement to retire failcannon while you did the whole demons in the city/rebellion thing? So that those changes are real and observable within the save? And was Thoth's fight all done in the arena? If this is merely some form of save/artistic sorcery then I hope I come back as an angry ghost and possess Queen Led whenever she arrives.
Nah, hacks like that probably shouldn't be used in a succession game without group approval first. It was all on a separate save file, and Thoth/Ura fighting was all Arena mode, so yup, sorcery. Led would be dead in Legends even if resurrected. If she came to Failcannon, we might keep her from being D.O.A. by raising the max age for humans, but I've never tried that and my last untested suggestion ended up with dwarves refusing to eat, so that's a maybe. Oh, your ghosts haven't come back yet, just one of the forgotten masons I forgot to make a slab for.
seems you need a god among dwrafs to save you. a hero like those in time before time. like those of syrupleaf in the first baptism of the world -if your using the boatmurderd timeline etc-
whos the best warrior and does he seem fit to take on the god of death? :)
just idle speculation. This has been a great read. :P wait the ending with anticipation. if it is indeed the end.
Good questions. It's all one big multiverse to me. If there's a warrior here to fight Death it would probably be Tupu, since he's already cheated it a few times and uses skeletal horse collar bones as toothpicks. As for it ending, I'd like the fortress to go on as long as it naturally can without getting boring or cheap. We'll have to figure something out if there is to be a Battlefailed 3 though, because it seems embarking anywhere in Aluonra besides the two forts causes a game crash now.
The tantrum spiral is over, we have enough food to not have to worry about producing any for a long time, and we still have adamantine to spare. If you have Urist make even one masterwork weapon a season we should get a steady trickle of migrants. I completely failed to raise FPS and actually lowered it a few points, it's about 15 for me now, and for that I apologize, hopefully someone more efficient than I can fix it up. Getting rid of the ghostly mason might help.
Here's the Failcannon save. (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4726) My thanks to everybody who enjoyed the turn! It's been fun. There's no World like the Windy.
If you pull the the Hematite Lever of Remorse, there may be a couple minutes of lag as the game processes what is happening. Don't fret if the game looks like it stopped responding, just give it some time.
Edit: Nearly forgot to mention. The save is at Granite 6, all that's been done in that time was the recovering of two wounded and the deactivation of the pump for FPS. I'll upload the autosave at Granite 1 if this is objectionable.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 25, 2011, 01:13:22 am
Quote
Seraphin has no tasks assigned but healthcare and I expect everyone should recover
Like hell! I'm staying nice and crippled in bed, where it's safe! Seraphin! More booze and food!
Post by: Savolainen5 on July 25, 2011, 01:20:58 am
Post by: Johuotar on July 25, 2011, 03:01:47 am
Post by: Dariush on July 25, 2011, 03:02:29 am
"I have eyes," Andreus said.I lol'd.
"There's so many of them! I never noticed how many until they were gone."
So, what is the structure near the 'FUCK' sign? And how did you encounter Led in adventure mode?
Post by: da_nang on July 25, 2011, 05:03:41 am
You want to have the Homicidal Poker take care of you? *Laughs maniacally* *Pokes*QuoteSeraphin has no tasks assigned but healthcare and I expect everyone should recover
Like hell! I'm staying nice and crippled in bed, where it's safe! Seraphin! More booze and food!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 25, 2011, 05:40:13 am
You want to have the Homicidal Poker take care of you? *Laughs maniacally* *Pokes*QuoteSeraphin has no tasks assigned but healthcare and I expect everyone should recover
Like hell! I'm staying nice and crippled in bed, where it's safe! Seraphin! More booze and food!
I still have a working hand and a crossbow. I think. If he tries poking me, i can poke back at quite a distance.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 25, 2011, 02:20:10 pm
Post by: ignatzami on July 25, 2011, 02:32:06 pm
PM'd ignatzami, updated OP and stuff.
I'm busy tonight, but I'll grab the save and try to run it tomorrow.
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 25, 2011, 03:21:46 pm
Who died during your second turn? Am I dead? Did +goblin bone block spider+ fall on me? Was I in fortress guard or regular squad?
Spoiler: Survivors (click to show/hide)
The wall fell on arcangelsd, who's sitting in a pile of goblin gone meal outside, I suppose he wanted to go back to bed. Aik is the only Fortress Guard, Kaamanen's horribly injured but ecstatic in the hospital with three infections and a broken skull, and I didn't notice how that happened, but I'm guessing it was from Xellas shooting him.
So, what is the structure near the 'FUCK' sign? And how did you encounter Led in adventure mode?
I don't really know, some sort of spire someone built way back before my first turn I just added to a little. For Led, I raised her as a skeleton with Runesmith and used dfmode to switch to adventurer.
(http://i52.tinypic.com/b5qovk.png)
PM'd ignatzami, updated OP and stuff.
I'm busy tonight, but I'll grab the save and try to run it tomorrow.
I must warn you that I neglected to cancel Takua's standing order to murder the dwarven diplomat. If she succeeds there will be a loyalty cascade and likely a massive shootout in the hall at F5.
Also, job cancellations are turned off and all death items are forbidden by default except for dwarven corpses.
Wasn't Joshua IX next on the list before? Did I PM the wrong person?
edit: added list of survivors
Post by: Mormota on July 25, 2011, 04:21:16 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 25, 2011, 04:34:41 pm
Wasn't Joshua IX next on the list before? Did I PM the wrong person?
He got overlooked - he was originally between malkomk and Ahrimahn.
I don't want to annoy you Urist, but could you please change me in the dorfing list to a military dwarf? Thanks in advance!
Done (in a few seconds).
Post by: Takuanuva on July 25, 2011, 07:19:58 pm
I must warn you that I neglected to cancel Takua's standing order to murder the dwarven diplomat. If she succeeds there will be a loyalty cascade and likely a massive shootout in the hall at F5.Wait... It's 2 am here and my brain isn't running on full speed, so I might have missunderstood that, so I want to make sure: my dwarf is most likely to make the entire fortress fall?
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 25, 2011, 09:46:49 pm
Who died during your second turn? Am I dead? Did +goblin bone block spider+ fall on me? Was I in fortress guard or regular squad?Spoiler: Survivors (click to show/hide)
The wall fell on arcangelsd, who's sitting in a pile of goblin gone meal outside, I suppose he wanted to go back to bed. Aik is the only Fortress Guard, Kaamanen's horribly injured but ecstatic in the hospital with three infections and a broken skull, and I didn't notice how that happened, but I'm guessing it was from Xellas shooting him.So, what is the structure near the 'FUCK' sign? And how did you encounter Led in adventure mode?
I don't really know, some sort of spire someone built way back before my first turn I just added to a little. For Led, I raised her as a skeleton with Runesmith and used dfmode to switch to adventurer.(http://i52.tinypic.com/b5qovk.png)PM'd ignatzami, updated OP and stuff.
I'm busy tonight, but I'll grab the save and try to run it tomorrow.
I must warn you that I neglected to cancel Takua's standing order to murder the dwarven diplomat. If she succeeds there will be a loyalty cascade and likely a massive shootout in the hall at F5.
Also, job cancellations are turned off and all death items are forbidden by default except for dwarven corpses.
Wasn't Joshua IX next on the list before? Did I PM the wrong person?
edit: added list of survivors
"That Aussie Dwarf - Mechanisms" Uh-oh... Am... Am i finally back on my FEET? Oh you stupid dwarf! Recripple yourself! You don't want to be back to work in Failcannon now of all times! Go back to your nice, safe hospital bed!
Post by: Dariush on July 26, 2011, 02:57:48 am
I don't really know, some sort of spire someone built way back before my first turn I just added to a little. For Led, I raised her as a skeleton with Runesmith and used dfmode to switch to adventurer.Holy shit, you surely go to insane length to make your updates so awesome. :o
Post by: Johuotar on July 26, 2011, 03:08:25 am
Post by: Paaaad on July 26, 2011, 06:45:32 pm
We'll have to figure something out if there is to be a Battlefailed 3 though, because it seems embarking anywhere in Aluonra besides the two forts causes a game crash now.
Sadley that seems to be true, even on the nearby island. So Battlefailed 2.5 is off.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 26, 2011, 08:25:46 pm
Post by: Paaaad on July 26, 2011, 09:27:45 pm
Post by: ignatzami on July 27, 2011, 10:59:29 am
PM'd ignatzami, updated OP and stuff.
I'm busy tonight, but I'll grab the save and try to run it tomorrow.
No good, crashed my desktop, laptop, and work machine. Skip me, and good luck to whomever tries to run this mess!
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 27, 2011, 02:02:58 pm
Post by: Mormota on July 27, 2011, 02:11:21 pm
I'd like to request a turn at this, if possible. I'm not the best DF player though, I hope that's not a problem.
Post by: Michael_Almeida on July 27, 2011, 06:17:35 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 27, 2011, 10:46:43 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on July 27, 2011, 10:48:11 pm
*votes*
Post by: Paaaad on July 28, 2011, 04:45:46 pm
Post by: Karakzon on July 28, 2011, 04:48:48 pm
Post by: Mormota on July 28, 2011, 05:04:31 pm
Post by: Paaaad on July 28, 2011, 05:49:38 pm
Post by: Groveller on July 28, 2011, 10:41:07 pm
Actually, time only bends back on itself in a singularity. And as we know, all of them are hairy, ie.: they are all inside black holes. Let's not put our fortress inside a black hole, shall we?
Beardy, not hairy. Anyway, black hole sounds like a fun new embark challenge.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 28, 2011, 10:45:42 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 28, 2011, 10:58:24 pm
How would one even begin to set up such an embark?
Knowing the dwarves, probably using magma and wanton cruelty to wildlife and trees. Somehow.
Post by: Mormota on July 29, 2011, 05:31:29 am
Actually, time only bends back on itself in a singularity. And as we know, all of them are hairy, ie.: they are all inside black holes. Let's not put our fortress inside a black hole, shall we?
Beardy, not hairy. Anyway, black hole sounds like a fun new embark challenge.
I'm not English, and we call it hairy. :D Anyways, time is pretty much frozen inside a black hole by definition. That is, you go in, and for you, a single moment doesn't pass until you're erased from existence. Or you're saved, if we find a way to evaporate a black hole while retaining the information stored inside. Unlikely at best.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 29, 2011, 09:18:13 am
Actually, time only bends back on itself in a singularity. And as we know, all of them are hairy, ie.: they are all inside black holes. Let's not put our fortress inside a black hole, shall we?
Beardy, not hairy. Anyway, black hole sounds like a fun new embark challenge.
I'm not English, and we call it hairy. :D Anyways, time is pretty much frozen inside a black hole by definition. That is, you go in, and for you, a single moment doesn't pass until you're erased from existence. Or you're saved, if we find a way to evaporate a black hole while retaining the information stored inside. Unlikely at best.
Take your intelligent discussion and scientific theory someplace else. This is a damned fortress of madness, wanton cruelty and wacky hijinks! (interesting theory though, none-the-less)
Post by: Mormota on July 29, 2011, 04:21:26 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 29, 2011, 06:15:10 pm
Post by: EmeraldWind on July 29, 2011, 09:45:20 pm
I'm not English, and we call it hairy. :D
But this is Bay12's DF forums and we call it beardy. :P
Quote
Anyways, time is pretty much frozen inside a black hole by definition. That is, you go in, and for you, a single moment doesn't pass until you're erased from existence. Or you're saved, if we find a way to evaporate a black hole while retaining the information stored inside. Unlikely at best.
Sounds a lot like my last fortress when the FPS tanked...
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on July 29, 2011, 10:02:29 pm
Post by: Mormota on July 30, 2011, 02:00:26 am
Post by: Dariush on July 30, 2011, 02:24:17 am
Oh shit, it's two turns until mine?! Move me eight or so turns down the list please.
Post by: CatalystParadox on July 30, 2011, 02:51:11 pm
I think its a good plan.
*goes back to eagerly eyeing the turn list, coiled and ready to spring*
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 30, 2011, 09:02:59 pm
Post by: Gizogin on July 30, 2011, 09:03:38 pm
Also, I would like to be dorfed, even if I have to wait for the next migrant wave!
Name - Gizogin
Profession - Dark Wizard (any kind of construction skill, like carpentry or masonry)
Post by: rridgway on July 31, 2011, 03:37:16 pm
Post by: PFactorial on July 31, 2011, 06:27:48 pm
wait where do i get the save?
what should my report be like?
i'm clueless here :D
Post by: Mego on July 31, 2011, 06:49:25 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The saga of Battlefailed and Failcannon, doomed from the start, rivals the impressive storytelling and pure epicness of Headshoots and Syrupleaf. While Headshoots had fire imps and clowns, and Syrupleaf had
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Welcome to fucking Battlefailed/Failcannon! We boast the most variety in ways to die here, from the local skeletal and zombie wildlife, to the Forgotten Beast colony below (and their poisonous secretions, which have tainted a lake in an underground cavern); from the goblins (and occasional trolls) who unfailingly accompany any visitors, to the titans who come around every so often, thinking we're going to throw them a freaking tea party. Even the dwarves who make their homes here have claimed other dwarven life, whether it be due to berserk rage or gross incompetence. No matter which of these is the cause of your death, you can rest assured, knowing that your body will either be piled on top of a hundred or so others, get tossed in the ocean, or be made into bone blocks for our latest construction project. What, you want a funeral and to be laid to rest in a coffin? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We have no time for that! Consider yourself lucky if your body is even recoverable.
There was no hope for Battlefailed. The original 7 must have known this when they named the fort, for it surely lived up to its name. Likewise, Failcannon was doomed from the very start. No dwarven civilization could possibly survive in this land. But, what did the founders of Battlefailed, and subsequently, Failcannon, say to these odds?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
After writing all of that, I decided I want to be dorfed, if this fortress survives long enough for more migrants/babies to arrive, which is doubtful.
Name: Mego
Profession Name: Mad Scientist
Gender: Male
Real Profession: I really don't care, although Cheese Maker or Soap Maker would be hilarious.
EDIT: Just saw PFactorial's post. The save is at http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4726 (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4726)
Post by: Takuanuva on August 01, 2011, 08:17:43 am
Post by: Mego on August 02, 2011, 02:36:28 am
Post by: Dariush on August 02, 2011, 02:46:22 am
Post by: Scaraban on August 02, 2011, 02:47:32 am
Post by: Johuotar on August 02, 2011, 05:39:19 am
Quote
what should my report be like?I dont think there's need for dwarf centered report, just posting pics of events and describing them should be fine.
Post by: Joshua IX on August 02, 2011, 06:49:26 am
:/
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 02, 2011, 07:42:30 am
Apologies for not getting back sooner. I was away from the internet over the past week. I regret to tell you that my computer physically cannot handle the save >.<
:/
Never fear, 'tis the Battlefailed tradition!
Post by: SethCreiyd on August 02, 2011, 06:30:44 pm
So I have to ask: Failcannon hasn't had an update in a week, and Urist Imiknorris hasn't stopped by since then. Is Failcannon officially dead by attrition?
Failcannon is like a Zombie Horse. It may look dead when it lies down, but it's really just a bit slower than average and still quite capable of murdering dwarves when it starts to move.
Post by: EmeraldWind on August 02, 2011, 10:34:00 pm
So I have to ask: Failcannon hasn't had an update in a week, and Urist Imiknorris hasn't stopped by since then. Is Failcannon officially dead by attrition?
Failcannon is like a Zombie Horse. It may look dead when it lies down, but it's really just a bit slower than average and still quite capable of murdering dwarves when it starts to move.
This just about sums up the fort and the thread.
Post by: Mormota on August 03, 2011, 03:11:58 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 03, 2011, 07:10:25 pm
Post by: Strategia on August 03, 2011, 10:31:17 pm
Personal journal of Strategia Staffdanced, Cheesemaker and Marksdwarf-under-Duress
Entry 1 - sometime in 535 (I think).
It's hard to keep track of time here in Failcannon. It's probably around 535-ish, but I have no idea - what passes for "nature" here is so screwy (and mostly undead) that seasons are nearly impossible to track, and nobody really knows how long the stars were out. Doesn't matter anyway. I've decided to start writing a journal, to chronicle the madness of this place. I'm not talking about the fact that everyone who lives here is turning into a psychotic maniac, that's the usual state of affairs everywhere (no wonder so many people move away to settle in Armok-forsaken places like this), or the fact that the local wildlife doesn't want to stay dead - this fort does not have any cheese. Can you imagine! By Armok, it's no wonder this place is going down the magma chute - what kind of civilisation can be sustained without cheese?
I sometimes yearn for my days back at Graspedseduce, where everyone knew me and my cheeses, and respected me enough to cross the street when I walked wait when did I lose my right hand. I swear it was just attached a moment ago, I have no idea where it went. Could have happened during that scuffle with those humans. I swear, journal, the insolence of some people! Asking me to perform something called a "pole-dance" just because of my last name! The Staffdanced line has been a staple of Graspedseduce culture and high society for centuries, the name has nothing to do with lowly smut-peddlers like these hairless, sober humans! The name itself is a testament to my lofty heritage, it came from my great-great-grandmother's youth as an ecdysiast! (note to self: must remember to look up what that is someday) I must remember to dedicate the next few goblins I kill to Painiac, if he hadn't snapped and raised his crossbow at the same time I shot that maceman for insulting me, I would be among the many dead in this fortress' history.
But I am not. I survived. And now, in the name of the late Painiac, I dedicate the rest of my life (between invasions and rebellions) to bringing this place the glorious wonders of CHEESE. I may not be able to make my signature dragon tallow limburger here, but I sense interesting possibilities with some of the secretions of the Forgotten Beasts in this place. And the smells wafting from some of the older goblin corpses remind me so much of my old dairy I simply must try doing something with them - I could claim it was refuse disposal if necessary.
Mark my words, journal, I will bring cheese - and with it, civilisation - to this place, or die trying!
[OOC edit] - there really isn't any cheese, is there? I seem to recall there was none, or at least no local cheese industry
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 04, 2011, 02:43:01 pm
Post by: Strategia on August 04, 2011, 04:59:46 pm
Also, the journals might make a good segue into overseership, should I ever figure out how to maintain a basic fortress without running it into the ground, and I decide to take the plunge. But she (and/or Failcannon itself) might be dead by then. I don't know.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 04, 2011, 05:49:20 pm
Post by: Mego on August 04, 2011, 05:57:42 pm
Also, the journals might make a good segue into overseership, should I ever figure out how to maintain a basic fortress without running it into the ground, and I decide to take the plunge. But she (and/or Failcannon itself) might be dead by then. I don't know.
Neither of those has stopped anyone before. Just look at Andreus.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 04, 2011, 06:20:28 pm
Will download the save and post an update sometime tonight :)
Post by: Strategia on August 04, 2011, 07:05:47 pm
Also, the journals might make a good segue into overseership, should I ever figure out how to maintain a basic fortress without running it into the ground, and I decide to take the plunge. But she (and/or Failcannon itself) might be dead by then. I don't know.
Neither of those has stopped anyone before. Just look at Andreus.
True, true, but I fear that I may also prove to be a very boring overseer - I've never done quite a few things that are necessary for a fortress in a stage as advanced as this one, so I probably wouldn't be able to do much beyond digging out new rooms and watching dorfs beat each other over the head. I've never actually stuck with a fortress long enough for it to progress beyond "frontier colony" - I've never even made a mechanism, the way I irrigate farms is I dig them next to a murky pool, floor over the pool and breach. I wouldn't know where to begin managing a fort the size of Failcannon.
Conversely, I may also accidentally wind up destroying the fortress because of this, not by way of an epic siege or FB battle or catastrophic flooding, but simply by way of sheer incompetence (which, given the nature of this place, would be 99% sure to happen). I'd accidentally wash away the food stockpiles causing mass starvation, or unwittingly release the FB goo all over the fortress, or somehow release a whole army of captured goblins in the dining room. It wouldn't be a very enjoyable type of Fun. I'll just lay low, write journals and practice on my own before taking the reins.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 04, 2011, 07:32:24 pm
Conversely, I may also accidentally wind up destroying the fortress because of this, not by way of an epic siege or FB battle or catastrophic flooding, but simply by way of sheer incompetence (which, given the nature of this place, would be 99% sure to happen). I'd accidentally wash away the food stockpiles causing mass starvation, or unwittingly release the FB goo all over the fortress, or somehow release a whole army of captured goblins in the dining room.
You're hired.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 04, 2011, 07:35:52 pm
Conversely, I may also accidentally wind up destroying the fortress because of this, not by way of an epic siege or FB battle or catastrophic flooding, but simply by way of sheer incompetence (which, given the nature of this place, would be 99% sure to happen). I'd accidentally wash away the food stockpiles causing mass starvation, or unwittingly release the FB goo all over the fortress, or somehow release a whole army of captured goblins in the dining room.
Dear Lur, if I don't do this first! I've never seen a fortress this complex. Time to abandon all hope of understanding its inner workings, and to blunder forth haphazardly!
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 04, 2011, 07:38:13 pm
Post by: Strategia on August 04, 2011, 07:44:07 pm
Conversely, I may also accidentally wind up destroying the fortress because of this, not by way of an epic siege or FB battle or catastrophic flooding, but simply by way of sheer incompetence (which, given the nature of this place, would be 99% sure to happen). I'd accidentally wash away the food stockpiles causing mass starvation, or unwittingly release the FB goo all over the fortress, or somehow release a whole army of captured goblins in the dining room.
You're hired.
Very well, if it survives long enough I'll give it a shot, and hope I don't kill it before the end of Granite. :D
Post by: Mego on August 04, 2011, 10:35:51 pm
Dear Lur, if I don't do this first! I've never seen a fortress this complex. Time to abandon all hope of understanding its inner workings, and to blunder forth haphazardly!
After about the 7th successor, that's pretty much the only option on a fort as epic as Failcannon. If all hell breaks loose, blame Andreus. The sidestories have already established that it's his fault for hell breaking loose anyways.
Post by: EmeraldWind on August 04, 2011, 11:26:33 pm
You can find it at http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-10633-failcannon-failcannon (http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-10633-failcannon-failcannon).
As I look at the fort... I notice it is indeed weirdly complex. I mean, I have had forts that were big, but they weren't complex. This is a WHOLE new level of complexity, perhaps perplexity should be used to describes this fort...um... BTW, why is there a giant hole in the left side of the fractile tomb? Does anyone remember? Whatever happened it seems to have killed "a" Twobeard...
There seems to only be a handful of z-levels that don't have something built in them. Even deep underground, the more I go down the more stuff I find. There are massive ramps that charge downward with reckless abandon, rooms in seemingly meaningless places, smoothed hallways that seem to currently serve no purpose, one of the ramps even goes down and touches it magma sea, and I am convinced the would-be pump stack is a flip-book animation of a dude spinning on the uneven bars.
Though apparently the area is attractive to the animal population. Tons and tons of love there. Failcannon even has a few whales swimming nearby.
And hey, the FPS isn't that bad about 6-7 FPS for me. My last fort ran into the ground at 2-3 FPS and that was years of it being stuck in the 4-5 range. I'm surprised my laptop didn't tank with this fort.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 04, 2011, 11:31:23 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 04, 2011, 11:58:11 pm
After this, somehow fleeing to the fortress of Failcannon sounded like a good idea. I will attempt to chronicle herein the folly that ensued.
----
Journal of 'Catalyst' - Elven Studies Major
We recognized Failcannon by its famous sculptural masterpeice - truly, nothing in the history of our art has better expressed the Dwarven condition.
(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-hs7OzW__edk/Tjtoutgg5gI/AAAAAAAABI8/8Us3-zT8NM4/fuck.png)
Stranger monuments awaited us within the gates. It would appear that the only material more abundant than gold at Failcannon is goblins. The dwarfs who received me proudly showed me the enormous spider statue, and explained its construction.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I thanked them for the nightmares I would be having for the next month, and declined an explanation of the other structure across the yard, built of a distinctly different type of bone. I decided I might be better not knowing.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I was immediately struck by the sad state of fortress - a population of a mere 28 dwarves in the entire vast structure, itself in terrible disarray. Worse, though, were the dwarves themselves. One can scarce find a sane and whole dwarf in the entire place - and IF you do, they are most likely one of the many grim, heavily-armed, hardened killers stalking the halls and ready to fill you with bolts at the first sign of discontent. When we arrived, we had apparently just missed our chance to witness the glory of Dwarven Justice in action.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It was clearly an epic battle that took place, starting with Greader, Tabul, and the Chronicler Takua. It all took place next to the huge and surely very-efficient corpse-and-food stockpile.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
In the course of things, Takua took quite a beating, yet still stayed on his feet. Meanwhile others in the fort got involved, including some fellow calling himself Andreus the "Timeless Mage", stepped in to pepper Greader with shots, and one child caught in the crossfire.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Strangely, this encounter did not last long, as all the dwarves went back to their respective business shortly thereafter. Except in Andreus's case, where that business was apparently taking potshots at anyone who happened to be nearby, regardless of whether they were, say, crippled in a hospital bed.
The fight soon spilled to involve an Alchemist named Grov trading shots with Andreus as well, as That Aussie Dwarf slunk off somewhere after suffering one ineffectual potshot. A soldier named Elt intervened and Andreus soon found himself in dire straits.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
As Andreus dragged himself around the floor of the statue garden, apparently intent on painting the floor bright red, as his last act on earth, a one-handed cheesemaker, Strategia, decided to join in on the shooting gallery.
(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-xKsIbuG7Byw/TjtotrxoAlI/AAAAAAAABIg/HTWymaQyakY/andreus-dead.png)
I have yet to understand exactly why Andreus was targetted. I have heard some nonsense about "his sins from past lives" but surely I have misunderstood.
Greader, of course, continued his rampage, this time pursuing the !!Scientist!! Uristein, while EmeraldWind pursued several others, inflicting minor injuries on each. Greader retired for the night, apparently feeling that a good day's work had been done. Meanwhile that night, 'Dete' succumbed to an infected wound, presumable unrelated to the scratch that Greader had just given him, and the soldier Elt exacted retribution on EmeraldWind for the chaos that had been carried out largely by Greader. Both are Stoneworkers by trade, so I can understand the confusion.
Yet, I find it odd that there is so little distinction between "dwarven justice" and "taking potshots at your fellow dwarves for sport". I guess the list of dwarves in need of punishment in this place is actually longer than the job queue and the current population roster, combined.
Apparently the 5th death was a dwarf named Sinpwn - he died in his bed of thirst, it would seem. The doctors here are apparently too overburdened to care for all the injured. I hope I am up to the task of setting this right, but the task of bringing order to this fortress will be much like selling toothpicks to elves.
It did not take long for the slaughter to resume. Strategia shot down a cat, and soon engaged the militia captain, Mormota, in combat as well. She seems to be tough, for a one-handed cheesemaker, and it was captain Mormota who hit the ground fainting from pain soon enough. Strategia continued her rampage across the fort, leaving Mormota unconscious, injuring several and shooting down the soldier Vee with a few well placed bolts.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
As she continued to plunk arrows into the various citizens of Failcannon, the guard finally decided this was the time to spring into action. Moments later, Strategia lay dead. Elsewhere, Ahriman decided to now continue what seems to have been a long-running rampage, and struck down Scaraban so quickly it seemed almost incidental. DuckThatQuacks then intervened and quickly put an end to Ahriman's rampage with his deadly battleax, then quickly sprinted to the aid of the injured PAINBRINGER against Elt the soldier, who also succumbed to the deadly ax. DuckThatQuacks descended, moments later, upon the Chronicler Takua, who, since his initial injury in these riots some weeks ago, had laid injured and unconscious in a stockpile. Things looked grim for Takua, but it was then that Urist Imiknorris awoke, and with his famous spear "Tuftedfatal, the Roughness of Roaring" laid into DuckthatQuacks, soon chasing him through the hallways, soaked in blood. DuckThatQuacks fled down the stairs, into the bowels of the earth, only to come screaming out again the instant Urist gave up pursuit. The axe made quick work, and the heroic speardwarf fell.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Eleven dwarfs lay dead already, and the madness had not yet run its course. Meanwhile, a new forgotten beast made its presence known deep below... but I think even it feared to come above.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I have heard in hushed whispers this ongoing madness was somehow caused by the Demon Queen Led... but I know not how. Could it be that the rebellion continues in this place, her agents lurking among the brave dwarfs of Failcannon? Or is something more sinister, more... occult at play... This all took place before my arrival, so I have little to go on... and it seems there is no one here I dare trust.
I must learn the truth of it, and soon, or we may all be doomed.
---------------
Holy hell, it is madness in here. I apologize for the long-winded reporting, but it all seemed a little too significant to skim over. I can't even figure out who is killing who or why, or who is on what side. I'd look for which dwarves are guards and which are criminals, but they are ALL criminals, and they are ALL military! I've never seen a tantrum spiral quite like this before - I've lost over a quarter of the already meager population and its only been about two months -- and I haven't even had migrants yet to dorf myself!
Quite seriously, if this keeps getting worse and it looks like I'm not going to be able to keep the fort alive, I'd rather pass it on to someone who might stand a snowball's chance of saving it rather than have it self-destruct pathetically in my incompetent hands.
Hope you've enjoyed the update! :>
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 05, 2011, 12:24:14 am
Can you post the still-alive dwarves, and what crimes they're accused of?
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 05, 2011, 12:56:51 am
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS GLORIOUS.
Can you post the still-alive dwarves, and what crimes they're accused of?
Gladly!
Karakzon - Militia Captain. No charges.
That Aussie Dwarf - Aspiring Noble. No charges.
Grov - Alchemist. No charges.
The True Mekboy - Engraver. Accused of Disorderly Conduct (against Scaraban), and Violation of a Production Order (against Mosus Zulbanoggez, whoever that is).
Lord Slowpoke - Magnificent Bastard. No charges.
Dariush III - Awesome Soldier. Accused of Violation of a Production Order (against Dariush, ironically)
Mipe - Dancing Dagger. No charges.
Elderont - Brewer. Accused of Disorderly Conduct (2 counts, against DorvenEngineering and TerrisH)
Kaamanen - Combat Surgeon. Accused of Building Destruction and Disorderly Conduct (against DorvenEngineering).
Nightmarebros - Animal Caretaker. No charges.
arcangelsd - Farmer. No charges.
Gilgameshclone - Dwarven Child. No charges.
Seraphin - Homicidal Poker. Accused of Building Destruction.
Uristein - !!Scientist!!. Accused of Building Destruction.
Xenos - Farmer. No charges.
DorvenEngineering - Miner. Accused of Building Destruction (2 counts).
lupusater - Metalsmith. Accused of Building Destruction, Disorderly Conduct (against Nightmarebros), and Violation of Production Order (against Andreus XI).
Ledi V - Militia Captain. No charges.
Flagrarus - Metalsmith. Accused of Building Destruction.
Aik - Captain of the Guard. Accused of Disorderly Conduct (against Urist Imiknorris).
Takua - The Chronicler. Accused of Building Destruction.
Tupu - Champion. No charges.
Greader - Stoneworker. Accused of Building Destruction (2 counts).
Megaman3321 - PAINBRINGER. No charges.
Glacial - Apprentice Mage. Accused of Building Destruction and Disorderly Conduct (against The True Mekboy).
Mormota - Militia Captain. No charges.
Sprout - Surgeon. Accused of Vandalism, and Disorderly Conduct (2 counts, both against Ahrimahn).
DuckThatQuacks - Axedwarf (newly discovered talent). Accused of fucking murdering half my dwarves, bastard. Also Disorderly Conduct (2 counts, against Xellas and arcangelsd).
There are also about 4x that many more names on the Justice screen who are accused of crimes but also dead.
I really wish I could simply declare a blanket pardon, then martial law to be enforced by Tupu and Aik. Alas, it seems those two are more interested in sleeping through the whole thing, and the rest will carry their vicious blood feuds to the bitter end. Seth... you said something about a prison being constructed? I can find no sign of it.
Maybe that's what all the building destruction is about....
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 05, 2011, 01:18:31 am
Some of our Dwarves have renounced their membership in The Sword of Boots, and declared themselves enemies. So far I've found this to be true of Andreus (before he died) Greader, Takua, and DuckThatQuacks.
What we're seeing is an honest-to-Urist schism in the civilization. A war of secession. On the plus side, it looks like its nearly been put down.
On the minus side I also just noticed Aik is off to pull a lever. I'll figure out what chaos is going to come of that, next time!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 05, 2011, 01:32:32 am
Quote
The fight soon spilled to involve an Alchemist named Grov trading shots with Andreus as well, as That Aussie Dwarf slunk off somewhere after suffering one ineffectual potshot.
That Aussie Dwarf - Aspiring Noble. No charges.
Heheheh. My dwarf may be back on his feet, but he's evidently not stupid. I think my dwarf might even be living up to his new title and scheming for control. He's avoided all the major riots, helped kill the latest Andreu (kinda) and he's heavily armed. Anyone want to question his inevitable nobility and authority?
Post by: Karakzon on August 05, 2011, 03:04:12 am
Whos most likely to go on a rampage next i wonder? and can you somehow segregate the rouge dwarves from the normal ones?
Post by: rridgway on August 05, 2011, 03:18:21 am
Post by: Sinpwn on August 05, 2011, 03:18:52 am
Add me to the turn list please, chances are my computer can handle the save.
Post by: arcangelsd on August 05, 2011, 05:19:06 am
That may have started the spiral...
YAY I'M A LANDMARK
Post by: Savolainen5 on August 05, 2011, 05:48:39 am
Oh sweet Armok. I've found the reason. This is bad.
Some of our Dwarves have renounced their membership in The Sword of Boots, and declared themselves enemies. So far I've found this to be true of Andreus (before he died) Greader, Takua, and DuckThatQuacks.
What we're seeing is an honest-to-Urist schism in the civilization. A war of succession. On the plus side, it looks like its nearly been put down
By Armok, how the hell is that even possible?
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 05, 2011, 05:52:51 am
Oh sweet Armok. I've found the reason. This is bad.
Some of our Dwarves have renounced their membership in The Sword of Boots, and declared themselves enemies. So far I've found this to be true of Andreus (before he died) Greader, Takua, and DuckThatQuacks.
What we're seeing is an honest-to-Urist schism in the civilization. A war of succession. On the plus side, it looks like its nearly been put down
By Armok, how the hell is that even possible?
Have you forgotten just what fortress you're in?
Post by: Savolainen5 on August 05, 2011, 06:17:54 am
Pyramid
Quote
Have you forgotten just what fortress you're in?
Pyramid Quote.
No, though I wish I had. I mean, game mechanics-wise.
Post by: Strategia on August 05, 2011, 08:39:40 am
Entry 2 - Not an Armok-damned clue when
No cheese! Not a single chunk! The insolence! Does that worthless administrator know nothing about me and my cheeses? I used to be vital for Graspedseduce's survival! All of my famous cave lichen brie was sealed away in a secure underground vault, as last-ditch emergency food stocks! My singular batch of elven gorgonzola (made with real distilled elf extract!) was given to the goblins as a peace offering! (Though I never got the specifics - the siegedwarfs manning those particular catapults were never allowed within the walls of the city again. Must've been sent as ambassadors or something.) Armokdammit, it's even a part of who, of what, we are: A short, sturdy creature fond of drink, cheese and industry!
This cannot stand. This is no civilisation. A fortress without cheese is a fortress of barbarians - and no self-respecting dwarf must be forced to live among barbarians. I must correct this. I will correct this. And since I am apparently not allowed to make cheese, by the order of the barbarian-in-chief, I must proceed to put Failcannon's dwarfs out of their misery! For civilisation! For Failcannon! For CHEESE!
P.S. I looked up "ecdysiast" in the dwarftionary. No longer that impressed with Great-Great-Grandma Urist.
(The rest of the journal is covered in blood and the occasional bit of organ meat - which would've made a fine veteran's emmentaler, had anyone bothered to notice)
[OOC] - Thus ends the brief, but eventful life of Strategia Staffdanced, Cheesemaker and Marksdwarf-under-Duress. I hope she comes back as a ghost, to haunt the halls of Failcannon until someone carves her a memorial slab with an image of cheese on it, menacing with spikes of cheese. Whether or not that happens, I'd like to be redorfed, as an immigrant cheesemaker, preferably of high skill if possible. Gender and other miscellaneae matter not.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 05, 2011, 10:17:04 am
Sinpwn - Look at it this way, you've joined a proud tradition of unexplained random deaths!
arcangelsd - You were a landmark. After the first month someone, unbelievably, apparently found the time to carry you to a bed. Actually, at the moment of last saving the rebels were encroaching on the overcrowded hospital, and the captain of the guard was far away ready to pull a random lever. What BASTARD left this place with standing orders to pull levers and slaughter dwarves before leaving?! :-D
rridgway, Strategia, others - I would love to dorf you all, but I haven't even got any unnamed dorfs for MYSELF yet. We better get some immigrants this year or my entire 'journal' isn't going to make any bloody sense.
Karakzon - I think I have identified the factions at this point... Measures will be taken. I have a !!plan!!.
Savolainen5 - I am not sure how it's possible. I hadn't realized dwarves could become "former members" of your civilization, and enemies of it. The weirdest thing is, they're still MY DWARVES (I can give them labor assignments, and even military orders, just like anyone else, it seems. I am not yet sure if they will listen, though). It seems, theoretically, the enemies of The Sword of Boots could kill off the rest and go on living as a band of renegades. I find it best not to question what the game is capable of.
Probably another update late-late tonight. First I need to make a small pilgrimage. Dwarf Fortress is part of a new exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art, (you know, that OTHER place with circles and triangles all over the walls!) something about the interaction of humans and objects *shrug*. Naturally, I need to go see it.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 05, 2011, 11:16:51 am
- Entry 1 -
If I am to sieze this fortress for my own, it will take careful manipulation of the locals, steering them towards the grand prize - the fortress and it's rumored adamantine wealth. With this, i can send these armored fools to willingly take over the world "in the name of mighty Failcannon". Fools.
- Entry 2 -
Phase one was a success - the others believe me crippled and have laid me up in the hospital with my crossbow close at hand (the locals believe me to be a poor shot. A matter i'll have to correct if they manage to get in here during the "heated discussions" that are probably about to occur) and a dwarf waiting on me hand-and-foot. With any luck, the careful lies i spread amongst the locals should make them all rather distrustful of each other...
- Entry 3 -
Outside these walls echo the screams of the dying and bloodthirsty. I may have taken it too far when i spread glue on the handle of Aik's sword right before he had to go deal with the uprising i've instigated, but it's too late now to resolve that situation.
- Entry 4 -
Armok save me. I was caught out of bed, on my way back from warning the dwarven diplomat of SethCreyd's treachery. Fortunately, the idiots believed me to be simply healed and put me back to work making mechanisms.
- Entry 5 -
Andreus XII found this journal. I'll have to be more careful at hiding it from now on. Thankfully, he was branded as a traitor and shot (Pretty easy to pull off these days, especially if you point and yell at someone loud enough for Aik to hear. Must remember to stay in his good books when i sieze power). By myself and a few others. Most satisfying to get my hands dirty for once, i must admit. As a precaution, i've erased my name from these entries and replacing them with the simple moniker of "That Aussie Dwarf".
edit - Just an fyi; i dont want a turn, i just fully expect my guy to end up Mayor and become the "dwarf behind the player" as it were.
edit 2 - Ye gods, i just loaded the save to look at That Aussie Dwarf for fun. Catalyst, take a look at my dwarf and tell me his personality doesn't suggest "diabolical machiavelian schemer" or "evil puppetmaster".
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 05, 2011, 11:26:30 am
Post by: Johuotar on August 05, 2011, 11:41:51 am
Post by: Teneb on August 05, 2011, 11:56:06 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 05, 2011, 12:00:13 pm
Is this the end of Failcannon? I hope not.
I think it's a touch soon to be speculating about that. At this point I believe we effectively have 3 rebels, one of which is lying unconscious in a scrapheap, and of the other two only one has proven to be seriously dangerous. There's some serious disarray, but I'm confident FailCannon can weather the storm.
Post by: Strategia on August 05, 2011, 01:22:36 pm
rridgway, Strategia, others - I would love to dorf you all, but I haven't even got any unnamed dorfs for MYSELF yet.
I know, I was just claiming the first remotely skilled cheesemaker to immigrate. I'm still torn between ghostly possession, or an erstwhile apprentice. Or a quantum-mechanical hiccup.
Post by: Johuotar on August 05, 2011, 02:17:27 pm
Post by: Paaaad on August 05, 2011, 03:15:08 pm
How Feasable do you think this would be?
No Mokume-gane studding of course...
P.S.: By the way, if a rewind is agreed on when this fort ends, I have a save we can use right here (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4786). I took year 2 from Battlefailed and replaced the raw file with the one from the latest Failcannon save.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 05, 2011, 08:20:29 pm
-----------
Journal of Catalyst, Elven Studies Major - 23rd Slate 535
The journey was long and arduous. Though we prepared carefully, not all of us would survive to see Failcannon.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Of the many wagons leaving Graspedseduced, some dozen came with us toward the frigid south. Soon, ours was the only one. When we arrived at Ungegugath, we were just four in number.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-GrUQsmicjjc/TjyT7GZsPgI/AAAAAAAABJw/HrD-0lKY4Nk/dorfs-1.png)
Myself, Keltiknight, Katsuun, and Darvi were the only survivors of the long trail.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And the tale I related to you earlier. At this time, I am told, the military had just been assigned to take up positions guarding the makeshift, overcrowded hospital, to await the next assault from the renegade dwarfs. Tension was in the air, thick as the sludgy waters of the Blueness.
-----------
So yeah, WE HAVE DWARFS. Not many, and I couldn't figure out a good order of priority for dwarfing requests (they go back at least 12 pages in the thread unfulfilled, so I decided to simplify by dorfing those next in the turn order first. I hope no one minds.
Hope you enjoyed! Much bigger, more serious update to come later tonight.
Post by: rridgway on August 05, 2011, 08:31:07 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 05, 2011, 08:46:11 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 05, 2011, 09:17:27 pm
I mentioned a !!plan!!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 05, 2011, 09:37:34 pm
I mentioned a !!plan!!
Sure, but any time there's a plan involved in Failcannon, it inevitably ends in either a tantrum spiral, the accidental death of over a dozen dwarves by FB/titan or miscellaneous !!Fun!!.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 05, 2011, 09:53:18 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on August 05, 2011, 10:17:33 pm
I was hoping the end would at least come about naturally.
I will have my revenge, as soon as my ghosts arise to haunt yours.
Failcannon, city of ghosts, city of the damned!
Post by: rridgway on August 05, 2011, 11:40:16 pm
A loyalty cascade? Really, Seth?
I was hoping the end would at least come about naturally.
I will have my revenge, as soon as my ghosts arise to haunt yours.
Failcannon, city of ghosts, city of the damned!
This is Failcannon, you were surprised when our dwarves began killing each other?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 05, 2011, 11:46:46 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 05, 2011, 11:53:55 pm
I must tell you a secret. I am not like other dwarfs.
From the day I was born I have had... a talent. To the elves it is a "gift", but what would you expect from a race that thinks chewing on their dead siblings raw toes is a good way to "return them to nature" anyway? For any dwarf, this ability is a curse.
I can read minds.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This may sound useful to you but... try to imagine, for a moment, what it would really be like. It cannot be turned off. You can hear and feel all the minds around you - the mad ones, the despairing ones, the fey ones, the drunk ones and the ecstatic ones and those so hardened by the horrors they have seen they feel as blank and stark as fresh-forged steel. Constantly.
Truly, Hell is other dwarves.
When I came to Failcannon, I already knew their fears, their anger, their hopes and their despair. I knew about the riots, of course, and that an emergency election would soon be called in response, as some shouted that not only did Mekboy not do enough, as Mayor, to prevent the riots, but also participated in them.
Sharing my secret with you serves two purposes. First, so you may understand how I so easily assuaged the fears of these poor dwarves even as I played on them. But second, and more importantly, so you understand that I did not want this. Personal gain was the furthest thing from my mind, and I still feel terrible for exploiting their trust. But Failcannon was tearing itself apart from within - and it seemed I was the only one with the power to heal it.
It was Ledi V who met us as we arrived, and gave us our tour of Upper Failcannon. Once we spoke of the current state of the settlment, she was easily persuaded to call for the vote herself. After that, debating Mekboy was no trouble - anticipating every talking point he had left him flustered, and I have always exuded a perfect calm that I seldom feel.
Once duly elected Mayor, I assigned myself the now-abandoned quarters in a tower with green glass windows overlooking the viscous, roiling waves of the Blueness of Malodors - a place I can be away from the others and have some peace. A lonely, grim sort of accomodations, but they are my only respite.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
My first acts as mayor were to make a few restructurings to the military - then, I assigned the Rough Tightnesses, the Hollow Hammers, and the Paddles of Disembowelment (under the command of such great warriors as Tupu and Mipe) to cancel their standing orders to guard the hospital, and instead to gather and inform the newly appointed soldiers of the Bronze Shoves of their new orders - to guard the sea.
Keltiknight and Katsuun were with Flagrarus when he went to inform Takua of his duties. Takua, despite lying in a rubbish heap for the month previous to this, crippled and dying, resisted. And suddenly, the terrible truth behind the riots was clear. No sooner had Takua touched Katsuun, but she too joined in combat against Keltiknight!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This was no mere rebellion, but possession at the hands of the demon-queen and her servitors! This "Enchanted Labor of Treaties" were her mind-slaves, infesting our fortress! I shouted for the military to retreat at once... but soon, DuckThatQuacks was emerging from below, and I heard the sounds of battle coming from the Hospital. Greader had been hiding in a food stockpile nearby for days, waiting for the guard to be distracted. He was locked in battle with Elderont - good. Elderont was capable, he should make short work of Greader, gods willing. While Keltiknight beat Takua senseless with a silver flask, below we heard the constant clang of DuckThatQuacks axe against poor unconscious lupusater's helm... Lupusater, who somehow managed to escape the entire affair unscathed, despite quite literally DAYS of being bashed by Duck.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Takua finally succumbed to the beating, with neither of the two guardsmen affected by Led's curse. Katsuun was struck down by a swift blow from ThatAussieDwarf's pick, on her way to the sea.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Flagrarus, however, had been infected by the curse, and soon joined in combat with ThatAussieDwarf as well. That left Duck and Greader - ever the most dangerous of the lot.
Elderont never managed to rouse from his sleep as Greader beat him with the butt of his crossbow, but lay there peacefull as he was thumped for perhaps a week, as if the crushing blows were naught but taps. I consider him a hero for serving as so effective a distraction.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Greader then moved on to fight Mipe - who also seemed unable to rouse. The surviving military immediately scrambled, and a bloodbath ensued in the hospital. Greader was struck down - but not before spreading the curse again - somehow all the way to Ledi, who was on her way to assist. I ordered the military to withdraw, again, and hole up in the hospital. Unlike the battle that we fought there, we could afford to let this play out.
Elsewhere, The True Mekboy, coming to help the rest in the hospital, chanced across Duck, still beating Lupusater, and unfortunately attracted his attention. Mekboy died swiftly, and Duck resumed what was rapidly becoming his full time profession. Lupusater was dreaming peacefully.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Both Ledi and Duck continue to stab ineffectually at their opponents adamantine helms. The fort is at an impasse for now... And my !!plan!! is at a standstill.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
~ 8th Felsite, Year 535
-----------
Sorry to leave things still unresolved, but I'm getting exhausted. It's slow going as I try to document these fast-paced events, and moreso as I try to do ANYTHING I possibly can to stop them. Sending the guard is a poor idea, as thoroughly demonstrated, but I can't prevent the fights anyway because there are injured dwarves laying about most of the fortress anyway! If I can just wait it out until the last 2 rebels finally finish beating on those poor immortal adamantine-helmed bastards, I might still be able to implement some variant of The Plan, and be rid of them for good and all.
Edit: Oh, and it doesn't help that both the fights are taking place in food stockpiles.
Seth, if you actually did cause this deliberately, you are a magnificent bastard and I love you.
Current Population - 26 Dwarves
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 05, 2011, 11:55:45 pm
It starts like this:I think you can imagine the rest.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCKS!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 05, 2011, 11:56:10 pm
Quote
Katsuun was struck down by a swift blow from ThatAussieDwarf's pick, on her way to the sea.
Man I'm going from plotter to serial killer.
Quote
I, meanwhile, was meeting with ThatAussieDwarf. Discussing... strategy. Well, an exit strategy, at least. I figured if anyone here had an emergency get-the-hell-out-of-dodge plan in reserve for situations like this, it would be him. And lo, he did have a plan! One... slightly too convoluted to spell out here, but... Well. It starts like this:
Of course! With fresh socks on his feet, a dwarf is capable of anything!
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 06, 2011, 01:32:03 am
QuoteKatsuun was struck down by a swift blow from ThatAussieDwarf's pick, on her way to the sea.Man I'm going from plotter to serial killer.
In your defense, she probably struck at you first. And in any case, you did the fort a service. I guess the death was swift enough not to trigger another loyalty-shift?
Post by: Scaraban on August 06, 2011, 01:35:25 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 06, 2011, 01:40:28 am
Post by: Scaraban on August 06, 2011, 01:43:37 am
First - I/me/this one Ex. I ate pizza.
Third - he/she/it/name Ex. Scaraban ate pizza.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 06, 2011, 01:49:09 am
Meant to tell you you're last journal entry says it's in third-person when it's in first.
First - I/me/this one Ex. I ate pizza.
Third - he/she/it/name Ex. Scaraban ate pizza.
I wrote that late last night (local time for me). Even so; Whoops
Post by: Eric Blank on August 06, 2011, 02:10:20 am
I don't expect 22 dwarves to be able to construct a self-destruct device of any sort, but that would be the next most interesting hope. Find out what Seth's lever did, perhaps? Was it already pulled? I hope it collapses small sections of the fort into the magma sea, sending cavern water and magma into the sky where it will both spill out and scald/infect dwarves with horrible toxins and form obsidian blocks which will plummet into the sea themselves, causing more eruptions!
Perhaps with a timer that delays a more complete collapse of sections of the fort, creating a proper, dwarfy ruin when it's all done and dead.
~lovingly haunting your haunts who are in turn haunting your dwarves and forcing them to consider blowing up the fortress. Just for fun.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 06, 2011, 02:42:31 am
EricBlank - Have some faith! I am an expert at dwarven self-destruction!
(seriously, I think I got this)
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 06, 2011, 02:47:46 am
- Entry 12 -
My little uprising is going surprisingly well, but a setback has occured; Catalyst was elected Mayor during the emergency election. This complicates matters. I'll have to see if he can be manipulated as easily as the rest of this demented fortress...
- Entry 13 -
Katsuun recognised that i was a citizen of The Sword of Boots today. Last time i attempt to be social and show off our people's traditional greeting. I mean, who doesn't like being shaken by the neck while being yelled at as a greeting?! I managed to gut her with my pick before she could tell the other dissidents. Unfortunately, I think Flagarus heard her scream. I'll make up a story about them attacking me later....
- Entry 14 -
Good news, Journal! Catalyst asked me to meet with him in order to work out how to save the fortress. He may have mumbled something about "getting out of this armok-saken demonic hole" as well, which only bodes well for my designs. I made up some overly complex scheme and told him to follow it to the letter, starting with the seemingly-innocuous ban on exporting silk. With luck, he'll either leave or be dead before he even gets to the part about running naked wearing a sock for a hat at the dissidents as a sign of good faith.
Post by: Dariush on August 06, 2011, 04:54:40 am
Post by: Ledi on August 06, 2011, 04:56:34 am
Post by: LordSlowpoke on August 06, 2011, 04:57:51 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 06, 2011, 11:12:51 am
Oh dear, I got caught up in the loyalty cascade? This won't end well. >.> I suspect a new Ledi may be on the naming list before long. XD
You're getting up there in successors beside Andreus, Ledi. The eternal crazy cat dwarf; Destined to roam Failcannon in all your incarnations, hoarding cats.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 06, 2011, 12:51:50 pm
Wait what? I DIED?! AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER POSTING THE DETAILS OF MY HEROIC DEMISE?! BURN IN HELL, YOU TRAITOR SCUM!!!
Apologies, I DID leave that out. I was busy recording the details of the raging combat - Dariush died peacefully in his hospital bed, of neglect.
Post by: Mormota on August 06, 2011, 02:40:36 pm
Could you give me some info about my dwarf, please? Could you post her skills and her thoughts and preferences screen? I'm asking because I'd like to write a journal. Thanks in advance!
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 06, 2011, 03:04:55 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Oh. Uh... Apparently the forgotten beast extracts are still taking a toll? The two of them have apparently lost the ability to stand, so they lie there. I'll resume recovery of those in need of care once the loyalty cascade is finally finished, one way or another.
Here are her current thoughts, etc.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Anyone else want an update on their dorf? (post sometime this evening, maybe I'll even squeeze in two today)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 06, 2011, 03:33:01 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 06, 2011, 03:57:05 pm
How's Uristein doing? Can I wield the artifact spear my other self made if I'm still alive?She's doing pretty well, all things considered.
Safe in the hospital and receiving care - such as we can provide. The lockdown is leaving everyone a bit neglected, but I think Uristein has a fair chance of surviving. I'll make sure she gets the spear, if she makes it.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Update: Kaamanen, the Combat Surgeon, our Chief Medical Dwarf, died in the hospital of infection. With the others in the state they are in I have relieved Aik of his guard to bring water and food. It may be the only hope of keeping some alive. I am also selecting, one by one, the most able-bodied possession-free dwarves remaining and bringing them to my tower. I do not intend to abandon the others, but as a course of last resort, a few dwarves could weather the storm from the safety of this moderately well-provisioned structure.
Update 2: I summoned Darvi but he blundered right into Ledi... and quickly knocked her unconscious! He's now throttling the life out of her - even if this leads to Darvi being possessed, it will be easier to steer him where I need him than Ledi, I think. Meanwhile, Duck has now filled 94 pages of smacking lupusater on the head with the axe, still without actually hurting him. I actually can't figure out why lupusater stays unconscious, he's apparently been "Resting" off a couple broken ribs for the past month.
Further updates in a real post, later.
Post by: Mormota on August 06, 2011, 04:17:14 pm
Post by: Johuotar on August 06, 2011, 04:59:16 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 06, 2011, 06:37:14 pm
The lockdown has prevented murders, but the insurrection is not the only killer lurking behind these walls. Injury, disease, and starvation creep in at every corner. First Kaamanen, our Chief Medical Dwarf, succumbed to infection in his sickbed. This prompted me to allow Aik is to take the risk of provision-gathering, but still, in rapid succession Gilgameshclone and Uristein, then Mipe, and then Nightmarebros succumbed to thirst. Aik managed to feed and water the remaining few, but many of them may be beyond saving.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Meanwhile, Sprout is apparently stuck in a room way down in the caverns, starving. I told him to deconstruct the pump that's blocking him in (I think I am undoing someone's project, but well, fix it later if you care) but he won't do that til he finishes hunting vermin in his tiny 3x3 stone cell. Poor bastard. What a sad state of affairs, provisions enough to keep us all fat for decades, but starving and dehydrating nonetheless.
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-9KGR_awvO0o/Tj3Mdwd-JzI/AAAAAAAABLU/GLP8x14XhYI/sprout-vermin.png)
The possessed dwarves are blocking most of our number from our supplies, but there are enough provisions in my tower for me, and several others. In the hopes that I might spare at least some of my brethren their fate, I summoned several of the more healthy and not-possessed dwarves to share my sanctum. Darvi immediately blundered into Ledi on his way to me, and is now busy strangling her. Even if this ends badly, it might at least end the roadblock keeping Ledi from where I need her - perhaps even if Darvi ends up possessed, he will prove more tractable.
Meanwhile, DuckThatQuacks is still raining ineffectual blows on the head of lupusater (over a hundred pages worth!) who somehow has still suffered no injury. He simply lies there, as he has done all month, "resting", and Duck apparently never grows tired of beating him. I assigned Duck the now-abandoned nearby quarters, hoping that if he ever relents we can lock the door behind him forever, but so far he continues the beating unabated. Lupusater, apparently, is just waiting for his broken ribs to heal before he rises to defend himself.
LordSlowpoke was the first of my summons to arrive. I gave the boy a much needed ration of food and dwarven wine, and how does that little brat repay me? He throws a tantrum, rampaging through my food stockpiles! He destroyed a farmers workshop, part of the old cheese-making facilities, before he calmed down. Sometimes I wonder if these creatures are worth saving.
Deep below the earth, I managed to locate a lone miner, Karakzon. I have made plans to dig emergency tunnels connecting the safe tower and a legendary dining room/stockpile far below. If we succeed in time, we may have a safe section of the fortress at last.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I... for some reason I find myself compelled to go release a troll from its cage. The Demon Queen has invaded my mind too!
I fought her, as hard as I could. But by the time I shook off the command, the goblins had begun to pour into our gates, Grov was too late. The cages captured some, but there were too many, and soon they would pour into the main fort. I ordered Tupu and the others to scramble to our defense - but it may already be too late.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It seems the fateful hour of Failcannon is now at hand... and I will write again soon, to record what befell.
-----
This isn't looking good - Goblins in the fort were the last thing I needed, and with Tupu sitting down below not moving for some reason (No idea why, he hasn't lost the ability, he just wont) I have no one who can fight them off. Doing my best to put a few dwarves in positions to ride it out, but at this rate that is not going so great. It might end up a hermit fort soon.
Also: WHY ARE THERE STANDING ORDERS TO RELEASE TROLLS?! HOW DO I CANCEL THEM?! WTF?! And why were the bloody gates open in the FIRST place, anyway? I managed to prevent Catalyst from freeing the one troll by forbidding the cage, but there are still three other standing orders to "release large creature". That distracted me long enough that I couldn't cancel all the other random shit my few able-bodied dwarves were doing in time to pull levers and stop the goblin invasion, and I was slow to dispatch the military. So... things don't look good.
On the plus side, the loyalty cascade is no longer a prime concern. And I think any dwarves I manage to keep out of the reach of the goblins will probably have enough to eat, as well.
If someone wishes to declare a coup and wrest control from me, in the name of saving the fort, I won't object. But only if you really think you're an expert at hopeless situations. First, I am going to ride it out on my own. Before any rewinds, I want to see if I -can- pull this off... and if not, you all can decide if the ending is epic enough to let stand. I may have the best shot at it anyway, as I probably have a better idea whats going on at the moment and therefore a better chance of salvaging this than anyone.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 06, 2011, 06:45:35 pm
On the plus side, the loyalty cascade is no longer a prime concern.
Putting this in the OP if that's okay.
Post by: rridgway on August 06, 2011, 07:24:14 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 06, 2011, 07:33:13 pm
On the plus side, the loyalty cascade is no longer a prime concern.Putting this in the OP if that's okay.
Of course! Thrilled to be in the OP.
You could send a suicide force to meet the goblins and give enough time to seal up the rest of the area.
Basically what I have already done - hindered only by the fact that roughly 90% of the military is unconscious or has lost the ability to stand.
I'm going to take the next turn nice and slow, and in the meantime, I wanted to consult the rest of the fort/thread on ideas for how to weather this. Come to http://webchat.freenode.net/ (http://webchat.freenode.net/) and join #failcannon-forum if you would like to discuss with me + whoever else might make it, in real time (I'll stay on at least the rest of the evening, if not tomorrow morning as well) and try to brainstorm a strategy. If you just want to pop in and leave some notes, I've also started a pad here for that purpose: http://piratepad.net/vTgK6Q80r8 (http://piratepad.net/vTgK6Q80r8)
Let the psychic quorum to save Failcannon commence!
Post by: Ledi on August 06, 2011, 08:18:36 pm
Oh dear, I got caught up in the loyalty cascade? This won't end well. >.> I suspect a new Ledi may be on the naming list before long. XD
You're getting up there in successors beside Andreus, Ledi. The eternal crazy cat dwarf; Destined to roam Failcannon in all your incarnations, hoarding cats.
A fort ALWAYS needs a crazy cat dwarf! I bet that my loyalty cascade part came from something to do with cats. :p Even if the game didn't know it. I doubt I can catch up to Andreus, though. XD
Post by: Strategia on August 06, 2011, 08:39:37 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on August 06, 2011, 09:08:43 pm
In the middle of the main entrance hall with all the levers, there's a bridge controlled by an orthoclase lever beneath the lignite floor grate. If the goblins aren't too far past the outside gate there may still be time to close it. If you can, you can extend the trade access bridge (granite lever in the center), wait for them to stride across, and retract it.
If Tupu is refusing to move try canceling his orders and redoing them. Failing that, and if the goblins are already too far inside, you might try luring them over to him. If Tupu suddenly gets jumped by twenty goblins he'll have no choice but to fight. Or just send the whole fortress to stick by him, that way he'll protect anyone nearby. I hope. There's the last ditch effort, too.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
There's enough sustenance behind the gate to last a few decades, and from safety, a counter attack can be devised. A line of traps or atom smashers is efficient and easily arranged, while something like routing the goblins into the Ocean of Slime would be a bit more work.
Regarding the trolls, check the troll cage up in the Tower. I ordered a bunch of trolls into cages back in Granite 533 and it seems that never got done since the assignment list is unchanged as of Granite 535, so they're probably just starting to get to it now. Unless I understood that wrong and they're just releasing freshly caught trolls, which is another matter entirely.
As for the traitors, if you can, try to get them all in a small room, and then lock the door. Treacherous dwarves still follow station and kill orders, but if you station them individually you'll have the problem of their attempting to murder any they might come across on the way. Or send all the traitors outside as the suicide squad to buy time for the rest of the fort. The goblins will take care of the loyalty cascade and the traitors might inflict a few injuries back.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 06, 2011, 09:30:12 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 07, 2011, 01:56:03 am
As we enjoyed some of the truly excellent cheeses left by the late Strategia in our stockpile, "Keltiknight" haltingly began to tell me something he had been keeping secret. Apparently he and Katsuun had played a little joke on me, during our trip - you see, he was really Katsuun, and the now deceased "Katsuun" was indeed Keltiknight. For obvious reasons, he felt it was a big awkward to bring this up now.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
We are hard at work constructing fortifications around the tower, a solid wall to block us in, made from the only material available - goblin bone. The chaos still rages all around us. We stay close to the tower as much as possible for the sake of safety, but we have all been stricken by a strange sort of confusion, even myself. Perhaps I have been taxing my abilities too hard, trying to not only read, but direct so many, amidst this madness. Even though I know there are important things to do, I find myself wandering off, enjoying mist baths, or acquiring lovely new pig tail fiber dresses. I cannot focus, and I accomplish little. It is as if the madness that has infected so many still gnaws at the minds of the rest of us.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Tupu made short work of several goblins. I tried not to view his mind too carefully, but what I saw... looked like this. It seems Tupu did not bring any weapons to the battle. This might seem like poor preparation, but I saw his mind. He wanted them to suffer. I never thought I would see a dwarf tear off a goblin's head with his teeth.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The most disturbing part? I think he was doing it because he was HUNGRY. He singlehandedly mopped up the few goblins who had made it into the courtyard, and then when I sent him off for a meal, and to pick up the masterwork silver hammer and adamantine helm dropped by Aik, he succumbed to infection. Rest in peace Tupu - another great hero of Failcannon.
The others were not so glorious - many of the dwarves in the hospital finally succumbed to dehydration:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Things were looking grim indeed, and I decided what must be done. We had finally managed to accomplish a few important tasks. Ledi was unconscious at the edge of the Dwarven Diving Board waiting for the lever to be pulled.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Lupusater finally died - I felt him slip away peacefully from the world, without a scratch despite the long beating, DuckThatQuacks gave him. Apparently exhausted, I was easily able to egg Duck into retiring to the luxurious new bedroom I assigned him - and as planned. the doors locked securely behind him. But now there's a most odd smell coming from within.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
We also managed to seal the main gate, but not before eight trolls made their way in. Fortunately, they had stopped to destroy the trade depot before going further (its always the Trade Depot in this place, isn't it?) Deciding that desperate times require desperate measures, I made my way to it. There was a lever... one I swore never to pull unless all else seemed doomed. The label said "Never Ever." I entered, steeled my resolve, and then I did it. I threw the Never-Ever-Lever.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The beast lay in wait in my apartments until Karakzon, apparently wishing to meet with me, blundered past - whereupon it charged out again and chased Karakzon all the way back to the main courtyard again. Let him be remembered as a hero - though he inflicted but one small wound on the Ettin in the process, he did exactly the right thing. He ran to the trade depot, and there he stopped and made his stand. Though he perished soon, the Ettin caught sight of the trolls. His rage was not spent, and immediately he laid about him - wreaking havoc on the invaders.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
At this moment I decided to go make a nice calf-skull totem. I had the nagging feeling this was NOT the urgent thing I needed to be doing, but, nonetheless. I felt... compelled. Something was off, in my mind, and I couldn't say what exactly. But as so many times before, I found I was not myself.
Suddenly, I became aware of new minds in my vicinity. Migrants! At last! Just four... no... three. But nonetheless, new, sane dwarves!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Unfortunately they will need to stay outside the gate until it is safe to open once again. The Ettin did a fine job on the trolls, but finally the last two, bruised and battered, managed to put it down. They are in a remote corner of our halls, now. Just sitting there. I decided to unleash DuckThatQuacks on them, but on his way to get his axe he ran across the fallen body of Megaman3321, and laid into him once again. He had been laying in the hallway, conscious but immobile, waiting for someone to bring him a crutch. I was actually coming with one myself, when I saw Duck beating him. Needless to say, I fled. I am no fighter.
Many more gave in to thirst - First Flagrarus finally expired. Somewhere in a stockpile deep below I felt his light wink out, followed shortly by Xenos. The last of the demon-possessed insurrectionists are Ledi and DuckThatQuacks - she's still unconscious at the edge of the diving board waiting for someone to pull the damn lever. Why will no one pull it!? Katsuun and I both have tried, and we both get distracted and wander off as soon as we get close. I am starting to thing the presence of the demon-queen is muddling our heads, to protect her servants. Most disturbing.
I wish I could use my abilities to banish her influence - but her powers are magical, infernal in nature. My abilities are something else. The elves say they flow from nature - as worthless an explanation as any the elves give. For many decades I studied the elves and their traditions, to better understand my talent, as much as I loathed the experience. They always insisted that it was not magic, however it might appear. And it seems they were right. Led's powers were still not something I could comprehend, any more than any other mortal mind.
At long last, Duck finished choking the life from Megaman3321, and has stalked off to deal with the two trolls. He never did pick up his axe, yet he's doing admirably nonetheless! It guess beating on two immortal, unconscious people for months on end is the best training.
I have decided it is important that Katsuun and I arm and equip ourselves. We have been wandering the winding corridors of the fortress looking for suitable equipment. So far I have selected an adamantine short sword for myself. It sits by my side now, as I write tonight's entry. Though I have been unable to focus on finding any armor, this sword... it called to me. It cut through my muddied thoughts and... spoke to me. I felt its presence in my mind, like a dull roar of incomprehensible voices... yet somehow comforting. It sounded a bit like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3NZ-fXeNTw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3NZ-fXeNTw))
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
---------
So. This will be interesting. :-D I think we've survived the seige, and... maybe the cascade too? It remains to be seen if we can actually get the migrants inside - and if we can deal with the remaining insurrectionists. So long as Ledi doesn't wake up, and Duck (hopefully) is finished off by the trolls, there shouldn't be any big danger...
Of course, if they kill off the migrants, perhaps the rebels could take over the fort. That achieves peace, too :P
It's 12th Malachite now. Hopefully at this point play will go a bit faster since the crises are not QUITE so ridiculously pressing. Another update tomorrow evening - in the meantime first 3 people to speak up and claim their dorfs get them - reward for paying attention to the thread. It seems like the only reasonable way to do it right now.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 07, 2011, 02:08:15 am
NOOOOOO! Wait... that's what you all think.... Can i get a redorfing? That Aussie Dwarf again with the title "scheming mastermind"
I'm now going to ask that you lock my dorf in the house. I'm gonna have the longest lived dwarf in this fortress and not even a loyalty cascade's gonna stop me. I believe I just jinxed it, too
I hope you've learned to never tempt Murphy's Law. Especially in Dwarf Fortress.
Post by: Eric Blank on August 07, 2011, 02:19:37 am
Of course, I'm still wondering if my ghosts have risen yet... If not, I would love a redorfing, as Eric, or Erica the third if it's female again. This time as the insane hermit... Clearly by this point either of my ghosts would be so peeved as to attempt to merge themselves with a living dwarf's mind to avoid the persistent misery of being dead.
Remember; in Aztec culture, the underworld is a place of boredom rather than despair, and at this point our ghosts are all just bored and wish someone would find the universal remote and change the channel already.
Post by: Mormota on August 07, 2011, 02:31:38 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 07, 2011, 02:55:42 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I've directed them to set up a small camp in the ruins of one of the monuments until I can get the gate open for them. I might just have them de-construct a gate if it looks like its not happening.
In other news, I decided to look into it - and DuckThatQuacks is now the only living dwarf with outstanding crimes. Both are against dwarves who are now dead - and curiously, neither of them are any of the many people he chased down and beat savagely. Dwarven Justice is a funny thing.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 07, 2011, 03:17:07 am
Post by: Dariush on August 07, 2011, 03:19:01 am
Post by: Sinpwn on August 07, 2011, 04:26:49 am
Post by: Mekboy on August 07, 2011, 07:05:48 am
Post by: Karakzon on August 07, 2011, 07:07:51 am
dependable on his skill level, i should say hes probably best only used as an emergancy fighter. If the goblins have any trolls, they should be top priority to kill, so that the trolls cant break down the doors and attack the dwarves.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 07, 2011, 07:20:05 am
Post by: arcangelsd on August 07, 2011, 07:20:22 am
I'll wait for my turn for dorfing, if it even comes (my level of optimism regarding* this fortress is surprisingly high)
And, Catalyst, could you post a "Survivors list"?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 07, 2011, 08:41:00 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 07, 2011, 09:47:17 am
- Entry 1, Book 2 -
I swapped clothes with one of the poor saps that fell to the goblins and it seemed to work - they all think I'm dead. I altered my hair and slipped out of the fortress only to run into three dwarves coming towards the fort (something about "fleeing the ruins of Led's empire"). Knowing they'd probably mention me, i made a deal with one of them - let me pose as one of them and the other can get the hell out of this crazy hellhole (I swear, Catalyst is psychic about who and where we are, or something...). The husband agreed and legged it faster than i've ever seen a sane dwarf move. On the plus side; I've gained an attractive wife (though her voice seems oddly deep and i swear i saw stubble. Odd...) and no-one's the wiser as to who i am. Catalyst keeps calling me "Other" though, for some reason i cant fathom....
Post by: Gizogin on August 07, 2011, 10:24:42 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 07, 2011, 11:55:24 am
And, Catalyst, could you post a "Survivors list"?
Sure - there aren't many, now, but at least its manageable:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Catalyst keeps calling me "Other" though, for some reason i cant fathom....The Others are coming. (Okay, so I've been reading too much A Song of Ice and Fire lately.)
I'll try to carry out as many of the dorfing requests as I am able, but for right now the migrants are but a slow trickle.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 07, 2011, 12:05:05 pm
Post by: ImBocaire on August 07, 2011, 12:27:57 pm
I'd be wary about dwarfing him in my next community game if it weren't so hilarious and awesome.
Post by: Mormota on August 07, 2011, 01:38:23 pm
Post by: da_nang on August 07, 2011, 02:04:13 pm
*ominous thunder*
Return of the poker! Seraphin II shall come and poke you into submissive madness. (i.e. redorf when possible as a speardwarf titled Maniacal Poker)
Post by: Karakzon on August 07, 2011, 04:35:58 pm
i wish to know how i was demised.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 07, 2011, 05:08:15 pm
Post by: Karakzon on August 07, 2011, 05:09:20 pm
found it ^^
Edit: Nice, so i was usefull. hope to be redorfed again sometime as Karak II, millatery or miner.
Post by: rridgway on August 07, 2011, 05:23:13 pm
Good job surviving that, whatever that was.
Post by: Savolainen5 on August 07, 2011, 06:22:35 pm
Re: Loyalty cascade
How does this work game mechanics-wise?
I figured out the answer while playing with Runesmith. Making an entity a skeleton or zombie makes it an enemy, yet it still belongs to the civilisation and group. Kill it, and you become an enemy of that. And then the cascade.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 07, 2011, 06:23:28 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 07, 2011, 09:35:04 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on August 07, 2011, 09:42:26 pm
I was deeply amused that Erica the Third is married to That Aussie Guy. He'll soon learn why his mother warned him about that girl...
As for a suggestion to not die horribly: attempt to isolate all the survivors on the interior of the fortress in a smaller section, then start letting migrants in.
Post by: Strategia on August 07, 2011, 10:10:02 pm
They would actually, because his dorf is no longer a member of the civ.
Aussie: "Are you the overseer?"
Catalyst: "Ye-STHUNK"
Aussie: "Not anymore you're not!"
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 07, 2011, 10:21:14 pm
They would actually, because his dorf is no longer a member of the civ.
Aussie: "Are you the overseer?"
Catalyst: "Ye-STHUNK"
Aussie: "Not anymore you're not!"
I hope this happens.
Sorry probably no update tonight, real life hijacked me. On the plus side, there might be an update tomorrow evening when there wasn't going to be one before.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 07, 2011, 10:28:53 pm
Post by: Strategia on August 08, 2011, 12:48:05 am
Well lets look at what my dwarf's done - He's avoided the tantrum spiral, helped kill the rebels in the succession war and gotten the mayor branded as a traitor who's probably going to die the moment the migrants get inside - Anyone still think he's not a genius puppetmaster? Or that he actually died?
I think he disguised himself as a goblin bone block wall and is just waiting for an opportunity to surreptitiously insinuate himself in a group of migrants.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 08, 2011, 02:20:35 am
Post by: Strategia on August 08, 2011, 08:28:00 am
he already did that. He's now That Other Aussie Dwarf and a part of the three new migrants. I've got 5 uristBucks that say he kills Catalyst before the other migrants can. Or, that he's nowhere near Catalyst when he gets killed by one of the other migrants.
No, see, he took those 5 Urist to temporarily swap identities with another migrant, so he can kill Catalyst while it only seems like he's hunting for socks. He's devious like that.
And when the rebellion is quelled, he will manipulate matters so that Failcannon will become the capital, and then silently murder and dispose of the king/queen when they arrive, so he can assume their identity and rule what's left of Dwarvenkind.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 08, 2011, 08:28:57 am
Also undead.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 08, 2011, 08:37:47 am
Post by: Karakzon on August 08, 2011, 10:06:25 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 08, 2011, 02:40:18 pm
So basically; all that's left in the way of That Aussie Dwarf seizing the fort and taking over the dwarven realm is Catalyst, a dwarven traitor already marked for death? Interesting...
Well, Catalyst, and the incredibly dangerous DuckThatQuacks who cut one of the fortress heroes in half with a single blow from his axe, and is currently wrestling two trolls and WINNING. Don't forget about him.
Led's dead, baby.
I wondered how long til someone made that joke.
Post by: Paaaad on August 08, 2011, 02:43:24 pm
Say... I thought of a coupple Aloys that we could add: White gold (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colored_gold#White_gold), Green Gold (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colored_gold#Green_gold), and Mokume-gane (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mokume-gane), or Burl Metal.
How Feasable do you think this would be?
No Mokume-gane studding of course...
P.S.: By the way, if a rewind is agreed on when this fort ends, I have a save we can use right here (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4786). I took year 2 from Battlefailed and replaced the raw file with the one from the latest Failcannon save.
Oh, as for the value multiplier I was thinking 500.
Post by: Strategia on August 08, 2011, 03:36:56 pm
Say... I thought of a coupple Aloys that we could add: White gold (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colored_gold#White_gold), Green Gold (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colored_gold#Green_gold), and Mokume-gane (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mokume-gane), or Burl Metal.
How Feasable do you think this would be?
No Mokume-gane studding of course...
P.S.: By the way, if a rewind is agreed on when this fort ends, I have a save we can use right here (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4786). I took year 2 from Battlefailed and replaced the raw file with the one from the latest Failcannon save.
Oh, as for the value multiplier I was thinking 500.
I was thinking that Failcannon is having enough problems on its own without having to worry about coloured gold (which would be purely decorative, and you know will be mandated by some noble as soon as it's implemented) or obscure types of Japanese metal that would require every type of metal ore other than iron and adamantine to create, and with a value multiplier twice as high as raw adamantine.
Post by: Paaaad on August 08, 2011, 05:34:57 pm
Say... I thought of a coupple Aloys that we could add: White gold (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colored_gold#White_gold), Green Gold (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colored_gold#Green_gold), and Mokume-gane (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mokume-gane), or Burl Metal.
How Feasable do you think this would be?
No Mokume-gane studding of course...
P.S.: By the way, if a rewind is agreed on when this fort ends, I have a save we can use right here (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4786). I took year 2 from Battlefailed and replaced the raw file with the one from the latest Failcannon save.
Oh, as for the value multiplier I was thinking 500.
I was thinking that Failcannon is having enough problems on its own without having to worry about coloured gold (which would be purely decorative, and you know will be mandated by some noble as soon as it's implemented) or obscure types of Japanese metal that would require every type of metal ore other than iron and adamantine to create, and with a value multiplier twice as high as raw adamantine.
What? It dosent exist at all in game yet. Hence the high value. And now that I think about it White Gold might allready exist under another name. And you could just impliment them in steps... Mabay If we rewind time. It's just a segestion anyway.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 08, 2011, 08:52:28 pm
Well, Catalyst, and the incredibly dangerous DuckThatQuacks who cut one of the fortress heroes in half with a single blow from his axe, and is currently wrestling two trolls and WINNING. Don't forget about him.
That might a bit of a challenge. Sigh. Brilliant schemes can never be simple, can they? There's always a psychotic dwarf in your way.
What? It dosent exist at all in game yet. Hence the high value. And now that I think about it White Gold might allready exist under another name. And you could just impliment them in steps... Mabay If we rewind time. It's just a segestion anyway.
Dwarves are monogamous creatures and love only the deep metal that is Adamantine. They just say they like others to get them into bed.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 08, 2011, 10:10:59 pm
I am not myself.
In rare moments of lucidity, when I am able to wrest control of my body from the demon queen, I record the happenings in this fort in this journal. It is my sole comfort, here in my lonely tower overlooking a poisoned, frigid sea.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I managed to steer Duck back towards his intended targets, but Katsuun lies broken and suffering. I think he will recover, given time, but whether he is able to care for himself in the meantime... It does not look good.
As a result, I have gently prodded the minds of the dwarves trapped outside. Mormota II has armed himself with the same adamantine battleax arcangelsd was reclining upon when I first arrived, and they have begun the process of tunneling through the wall into the fort. Perhaps they can do what is needed.
Just as I steered him away however, I heard a great crash from outside my tower.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Oh Armok help me, no... It's happening. I feel her, like hands closing my throat! No, noooooo... *the rest of the page is covered in wild lines, splashes of ink, and babbling frantically scrawled gibberish in no mortal tongue.*
Spoiler: Journal of Led Shakeoars, Master of You Sorry Lot. (click to show/hide)
Journal of Catalyst, Elven Studies Major
We did it! That Other Aussie Dwarf is too lazy to do anything else he's asked, but he, finally, of all the dwarves in this fort, managed to pull that damn lever and dump Ledi in the sea! Bizarrely, I can still hear her thoughts echoing in the deep... she seems to be sustained by the same demonic energy that corrupted her. I shudder to think of it.
The migrants are hard at work setting up this tower into a viable safehouse, and oh, I wish so fondly I could open that door and join them. But I have explained to them that they mustn't let me out. Soon, this fortress may be theirs.
I have unleashed Duck once more, now that they are safe, and it seems she has also taken unnatural strength from Led. She cracked the skulls of both trolls in short order, then immediately set off after Dirku!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
On and on they fought, ascending upward through the battlements of Failcannon, fighting upon the tower of doors!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Hearing the anguished cries of its kin, another ancient horror began to stir deep in the caverns... far from us, thankfully.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Duck lies there peacefully asleep now. I will let this report on her current state speak for itself.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
-----
What ... in blazes?!
Somehow, Led seems to have freed me from my room. I woke to find myself STANDING ON THE OUTER WALLS of Failcannon.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
On my way to lock myself back in, the Queen compelled me to lash out at a passing Aussie Dwarf, but he had the good sense to jump away. I was starving, and could not resist snagging a few barrels of food for myself on the way back. The newcomers would have plenty - not only had Mormota secured a new passage to the underground, but a human caravan had just arrived! Even if the guards cannot fight off the beast, I have no doubt they will drop plenty of delicious provisions for us.
Speaking of which... ever since this whole possession thing, occassionally I have the _strangest_ cravings
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Q0bCt4ppoos/TkCiOEVSFJI/AAAAAAAABac/SxEXFlMOeV0/s1152/swordfish-bone.png)
In other news, I seem to have managed to strike That Aussie Dwarf again, and infect him. Well, at least I am not the only one slowly starving in my room now. Ledi finally drowned, and Dirku for now remains content to keep tearing apart the doors. One of the caravan guards started taking potshots at it, and soon, it fell! Dirku's blood now decorates the Tower of Doors! I'll have to have someone set up a butcher's shop - we'll eat well for some time now.
Now that the fortress is safe again, I've claimed the whole of the western tower for myself. The others will do fine with the whole of Failcannon at their disposal. All three of them - Mormota, the badly-injured Katsuun, and Erica. Now to simply let Aussie, Duck, and myself die.
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-tjDFpn50mZE/TkCiOOzTadI/AAAAAAAABaY/1fpIAvv0IBc/autumn.png)
-----------
We're halfway there! And only one death this time, too! And that was Ledi, who was long overdue for it anyway. Unfortunate about Katsuun's injuries and Aussie's conversion, but aside from that I think we are truly free and clear of all this madness!
This particular episode of it, I mean. Now, the challenge shall be trying to keep Failcannon alive and well with just 2 able-bodied dwarves. I've appointed Erica the Chief Medical Dwarf - Katsuun has a little skill, but obviously he can't treat himself. So... let's hope for the best.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 08, 2011, 10:17:33 pm
Post by: Strategia on August 08, 2011, 11:09:46 pm
Now keep everyone inside and underground, and wait for more migrants to show up. This lumbering beast we call a fortress may yet become as vibrant as it once was. (besides, I have some Fun ideas I want to try should my turn come up)
Post by: Ledi on August 09, 2011, 02:18:04 am
...if migrants ever come to this hellhole ever again. XD Someone HAS to eventually come in to look after the kittens.
Think of the kittens, who will think of the kittens?!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 09, 2011, 02:56:44 am
Alas, Ledi is dead. Bring on the next Ledi!
...if migrants ever come to this hellhole ever again. XD Someone HAS to eventually come in to look after the kittens.
Think of the kittens, who will think of the kittens?!
The butchers and craftdwarves of course. Ammo and meat for the few survivors
Post by: Mormota on August 09, 2011, 03:29:27 am
This particular episode of it, I mean. Now, the challenge shall be trying to keep Failcannon alive and well with just 2 able-bodied dwarves. I've appointed Erica the Chief Medical Dwarf - Katsuun has a little skill, but obviously he can't treat himself. So... let's hope for the best.
Just 2 able-bodied dwarves! My dear sir, you forget that an injured dwarf is just nastier! Does my dwarf have any armour, or just the adamantine battle-axe?
Post by: Dariush on August 09, 2011, 04:04:41 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 09, 2011, 04:10:57 am
Great, first my welcoming sign, now my tower of doors are desecrated. What next, crocodiles roaming through my tomb?! Oh wait, that was in Ardentdikes. Why the hell does everyone hate my creations?! :'(
This is a dwarven successor fort. Failcannon, no less. If you make something great, the next overseer's gonna destroy it or pervert it into something entirely different from it's original purpose.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 09, 2011, 09:59:19 am
Great, first my welcoming sign, now my tower of doors are desecrated. What next, crocodiles roaming through my tomb?! Oh wait, that was in Ardentdikes. Why the hell does everyone hate my creations?! :'(
This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 09, 2011, 10:15:22 am
Great, first my welcoming sign, now my tower of doors are desecrated. What next, crocodiles roaming through my tomb?! Oh wait, that was in Ardentdikes. Why the hell does everyone hate my creations?! :'(
Hey, let's be fair - Dirku desecrated your tower of doors. Not even! It's smeared with the blood of heroes and forgotten beasts now - I say "Improvement!"
This particular episode of it, I mean. Now, the challenge shall be trying to keep Failcannon alive and well with just 2 able-bodied dwarves. I've appointed Erica the Chief Medical Dwarf - Katsuun has a little skill, but obviously he can't treat himself. So... let's hope for the best.
Just 2 able-bodied dwarves! My dear sir, you forget that an injured dwarf is just nastier! Does my dwarf have any armour, or just the adamantine battle-axe?
No armor yet - I'm sure he'll be picking some up here and there. I assigned him a generic metal-armor uniform.
No matter how much abuse the world throws at it, Failcannon still stands. A bit worse for wear, of course, but nonetheless alive and (somewhat) well.
Now keep everyone inside and underground, and wait for more migrants to show up. This lumbering beast we call a fortress may yet become as vibrant as it once was. (besides, I have some Fun ideas I want to try should my turn come up)
I just need to get them to go seal up the hole Dirku left in the wall (who put that damn door there anyway!?) and shut the gate behind the traders, and we're locked off again! This will probably lead to more concise updates, also.
Alas, Ledi is dead. Bring on the next Ledi!
...if migrants ever come to this hellhole ever again. XD Someone HAS to eventually come in to look after the kittens.
Think of the kittens, who will think of the kittens?!
The butchers and craftdwarves of course. Ammo and meat for the few survivors
There are no kittens here, only madness and death. Also blood-smeared ruined doors made from goblin bones and awash with forgotton beast ichor that causes syndromes we'd rather not know of. That reminds me - better keep away from the tower of doors now. Dirku had "deadly blood".
No full update tonight. Maybe a teaser. Expect a fairly lengthy one tomorrow.
Post by: Mormota on August 09, 2011, 04:08:10 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 09, 2011, 04:42:14 pm
What we actually have are 2 equally sized sides, totalling 6 dwarves, 2 of each side able-bodied. The only thing really making Sword of Boots the "legitimate" side right now is that they aren't the ones locked in their rooms. Maybe I should just section them off and let them live out their lives and try to be an independent settlement.
Post by: Strategia on August 09, 2011, 05:44:39 pm
Maybe I should just section them off and let them live out their lives and try to be an independent settlement.
YES. Failcannon could become DF's Cyprus! The breakaways could live downstairs and dig all required materials, dumping them in airlocks for the loyalists to retrieve and replace with food and goods for the breakaways. Maybe Failcannon could become half a Mountainhome, capital of the new dwarven civ.
And if that doesn't work, I'm sure one faction would find some way to give the other a pleasantly warm magma jacuzzi treatment.
Post by: Eric Blank on August 09, 2011, 08:19:14 pm
It's on now, Aussie.
If we end up with two segregated settlements, rebels and loyalists, I want to be the one to flood them with magma.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 09, 2011, 08:35:15 pm
It's on now, Aussie.
What? Check the third set of secret diabolical instructions you were provided, you demented dwarfish cross-dresser! This is all part of my dwarf's insidiously over-complex and genius plan! Otherwise you won't get your plump helmet biscuit after i've taken over the the fortress and the world!
Post by: Mormota on August 10, 2011, 03:41:32 am
Post by: ImBocaire on August 10, 2011, 03:43:12 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 10, 2011, 04:22:42 am
Post by: Mormota on August 10, 2011, 06:05:20 am
That should be our next order of business once we recover with more dwarves, etc. Train, prepare and conquer the circus. FailCannon will not be truly brilliant until we control the Circus itself with a wall around the perimeter to keep new Clowns from coming in.
You want to keep the daemons out? It's FailCannon! We'll conquer Hell itself, and let its denizens throw at us fruitlessly, for we are immortal!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 10, 2011, 07:34:25 am
Post by: Strategia on August 10, 2011, 08:45:57 am
By the way, are captured demons tameable, breedable and/or trainable?
Post by: Teneb on August 10, 2011, 12:05:22 pm
By the way, are captured demons tameable, breedable and/or trainable?
Probably not, since they don't count as "wild animals" but instead as "underworld" in the unit screen.
But I agree with the previous posts, we need to find a way to conquer the underworld and build a huge adamantine "FUCK YOU" down there. Hell, we coulld even move the whole fort down there while we're at it.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 10, 2011, 12:13:40 pm
Post by: Mormota on August 10, 2011, 03:17:43 pm
Post by: Gizogin on August 10, 2011, 06:26:23 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 10, 2011, 06:53:50 pm
Wait, are you thinking of a demon farm, in the vein of the now infamous mermaid farm idea?
That would be amazing. No good way to kill them without destroying the corpses though. They are immune to magma, to drowning, and traps. Bridges would work, but would annihilate the corpses, defeating the purpose. Repeating spear traps MIGHT do the trick, but I feel like demons can destroy those.
This has given me an idea though.
Sorry for the slowdown of updates, by the way. I just don't have as much time during the week. I was hoping to finish my turn by Friday but its looking like it might be sometime this weekend/early next week instead.
Post by: Strategia on August 10, 2011, 07:42:56 pm
Wait, are you thinking of a demon farm, in the vein of the now infamous mermaid farm idea?
No, I was actually thinking of flushing the Lake of Goo down an adamantine shaft, backed up by an ocean breach for maximum flooding potential, spreading the toxins all throughout Hell, wiping out demonkind. Sadly, I suspect that effects like this end at the fort's boundaries, otherwise a sustained ocean flushing of horrifically toxic goo could have the potential of total demon genocide through biochemical warfare, but alas. A dorf can dream. Instead of this, I was thinking of flushing just the lake down, with maybe some controlled ocean flooding to spread the goo to all the edges if necessary, poisoning any demons that entered the map.
But demons are immune to syndromes (and I'm hesitant to actually suggest changing this, for various reasons). Instead, I was thinking of breeding demons and training them for war. Having a few War Spirits of Fire chained up near the entrance, with a few more caged up beneath them, would be an effective way of keeping goblins, undead and merchants out, and trained flying demons might be able to clear out any remaining FBs in the Lake of Goo.
But this is impossible without modifications as well. So I suggest building up the population to a few dozen (at least), well-trained, and equipped with whatever high-quality metal we can produce in large quantities, then simply zerg rushing Hell until one of the sides is wiped out.
A demon farm would be interesting as well, if demons were able to breed. The spear corridor sounds good, Deathgate appears to have had great success with that, and we could right backup cave-in traps for any demons that avoid/destroy the spears. Demon leather armour and chopped demon liver for everyone!
tl;dr, I was thinking demon genocide, then trained war demons, then just demon leather armour.
Post by: Sgt_Joe on August 10, 2011, 11:28:41 pm
Wait, are you thinking of a demon farm, in the vein of the now infamous mermaid farm idea?
Ah dwarf fortress, where you try to figure out how to farm mermaids for their bones.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 11, 2011, 01:59:41 am
That fool Mormota blundered by my faithful servant DuckThatQuacks today. I finally sprung my trap - Despite his legs, broken in one and three places, respectively - he stood and attacked! To my great frustration, however, Mormota managed to escape without a scratch. Now I've tipped my hand and the midget freaks won't come anywhere near the surface for fear of him. To relieve a little of my frustration, I decided to tag along with a local haunt.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
HAH! Oh I do love puppies - for their whimpering.
It seems the blows Duck aimed at Mormota, despite being dodged, allowed me a foothold on another dwarf, Erica III. She was meanwhile carrying the poor disabled Katsuun, her new prey. So, the doctor immediately picked a fight with the patient she was carrying to bed - the results were predictable, though not immediately fatal.
I have directed my new servants deep below to work on something of a... special surprise. They shall lay in wait, until the time is ripe. Unfortunately they have a few rivalries themselves.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Journal of Catalyst, Elven Studies Major
I have been gone too long, this time.
I was jolted awake by a savage pummeling from that other Aussie dwarf. His face contorted with rage, he simply laid into me with blow after blow - I was able to flee and lock the door of my tower in the nick of time... As I was busy vesting myself with stronger armor against future attacks, I felt another light wink out in the fort. Duckthatquacks, having dragged his crippled body slowly across the entire courtyard to the ruins of the Bridge he used to be master of, apparently seeking to drink from the Blueness, died of thirst. May future generations remember the dwarf he used to be, and not what he became. May it be so for us all.
With this thought I was inspired. I took up my new shield... and went off to save Katsuun.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
After a few dozen solid blows to the head, she dropped the poor soul. I am sorry to say I was forced to let him lie there. I beat Erica down the stairs and soon laid her unconscious... and then came Katsuun down the stairs to join the fray! I shook my head and left off.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
There is no hope for this lot anymore. Mormota is our last hope. I have clad myself in adamantine and begun to train in my tower. If I hope to keep him alive, I may need to throw myself in harms way some day. Best be ready. Meanwhile, Led's will seems to have drawn Aussie deep into the bowels of the earth. I know not what he does, down below... And I shudder to imagine. I have sealed off the tunnels. He can have them, far to the southeast. I will keep my western tower. I have locked Katsuun in his room to recover or die, it makes no matter. The fort belongs to Mormota now.
Mormota soon had the breach in the wall sealed, thus protecting Failcannon from the fell beasts lurking in of the Blueness of Malodors once again. He sealed the trade entrance, and just moments before he closed the main gate... Migrants!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This is incredible! Things are being built! Bodies are being buried! Everyone is healthy and FOLLOWING ORDERS!!!!!!
Oh, how I wish I could be among them. There are tears in my eyes.
Katsuun died of thirst in his quarters, unable to reach the food and booze stockpile just outside due to his broken feet. Aussie is digging deep into the bowels of the earth and seems to be going strong... though I have no idea what he will eat. Maybe, just maybe, he'll survive. Failcannon is starting to show signs of order again. I never thought I'd live to see the day.
I lay down the pen for now. I must return to my training. But I am optimistic for the future of this fort. Failcannon is alive again - for the first time since I came here, it is not dying a slow death of disease, injury, and neglect. For the first time it is not fighting itself. Failcannon has begun anew.
1st Timber, Late Autumn
--------------
Spoiler: Journal of Demon Queen Led Shakeoars, The Undying (click to show/hide)
-------------
So, when it comes to your turn, Katsuun, I guess you can rule the fort as a ghost? *shrug*
Living dwarves are Catalyst, Mormota, and the new migrants, Dariush, Mekboy, and Urist. All but Catalyst are non-traitorous. All are in good health. They're even DOING WHAT I TELL THEM. I cannot even comprehend.
Spoiler: Current equipment of the two military dwarves, Catalyst and Mormota (click to show/hide)
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 11, 2011, 02:55:38 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 11, 2011, 03:02:27 am
Post by: Mormota on August 11, 2011, 03:02:39 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 11, 2011, 03:41:36 am
- Journal Entry 16 -
Yet again, I've faked my death. This one was awful close though. Who would've thought they'd believe a few underpaid humans in a bad costume with a flamethrower was really an eldricht forgotten horror?
I've tunneled out of the Fortress grounds and I'm now looking for the next group of poor fools eager to seek new
Post by: Strategia on August 11, 2011, 03:56:13 am
I request redorfing when you get migrants. Another Aussie Dwarf (or That Aussie Dwarf? If it can do characters)
Another Aussie Dwarf, Yet Another Aussie Dwarf, Even More Aussie Dwarf, Return of Aussie Dwarf, Aussie Dwarf: The Reckoning, Aussie Dwarf: Reloaded, Aussie Dwarf II: Plump Helmet Boogaloo, Here's More Aussie Dwarf, Aussie Dwarf: Salvation, Aussie Dwarf: Revolutions, Aussie Dwarf Prime, The Real Aussie Dwarf.....
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 11, 2011, 03:57:41 am
I request redorfing when you get migrants. Another Aussie Dwarf (or That Aussie Dwarf? If it can do characters)
Another Aussie Dwarf, Yet Another Aussie Dwarf, Even More Aussie Dwarf, Return of Aussie Dwarf, Aussie Dwarf: The Reckoning, Aussie Dwarf: Reloaded, Aussie Dwarf II: Plump Helmet Boogaloo, Here's More Aussie Dwarf, Aussie Dwarf: Salvation, Aussie Dwarf: Revolutions, Aussie Dwarf Prime, The Real Aussie Dwarf.....
Who told you about my other aliases?!
Post by: Dariush on August 11, 2011, 04:06:09 am
Post by: Mormota on August 11, 2011, 04:50:27 am
I don't know what day it is. I don't know what season it is. Ever since I arrived here, in this blasted hellhole, I saw nothing but death and madness. It is creeping upon me as I write. I killed. I saw blood in my time, but this place is far worse. Every day I spent here was a living nightmare, waiting to wake up but salvation remaining nothing but a faint wish. From the three of us that managed to survive the trip here, only I am still alive.
They died so long ago. I can't even remember their names. I think one of them was a woman. She died fast. I wish that was me. This is my last day in this world. Today, it will end, one way or other. But I shall face it proudly, and even though nobody will remember me, I will earn my place at the hand of Armok!
(For my inevitable death.)
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 11, 2011, 04:58:36 am
Last entry of the Journal of Mormota II
I don't know what day it is. I don't know what season it is. Ever since I arrived here, in this blasted hellhole, I saw nothing but death and madness. It is creeping upon me as I write. I killed. I saw blood in my time, but this place is far worse. Every day I spent here was a living nightmare, waiting to wake up but salvation remaining nothing but a faint wish. From the three of us that managed to survive the trip here, only I am still alive.
They died so long ago. I can't even remember their names. I think one of them was a woman. She died fast. I wish that was me. This is my last day in this world. Today, it will end, one way or other. But I shall face it proudly, and even though nobody will remember me, I will earn my place at the hand of Armok!
(For my inevitable death.)
5 UristBucks says Mormota's one of, if not, the last to die!
Post by: Karakzon on August 11, 2011, 07:47:59 am
Post by: SethCreiyd on August 11, 2011, 10:18:00 am
Soooo... what happens if everyone in the fortress becomes an enemy? Also, do enemies fight between themselves?...
If everyone's enemies with each other, they'll fight until you have a hermit fort.
Post by: Gizogin on August 11, 2011, 10:20:35 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 11, 2011, 10:33:49 am
Deal. youll have to fish the bucks out of my corpse in the form of socks if you win though.
Done!
This is awesome, Catalyst, you've done it. Failcannon has weathered another storm and survived! Now let's hope Stuzang doesn't pay a visit.Soooo... what happens if everyone in the fortress becomes an enemy? Also, do enemies fight between themselves?...
If everyone's enemies with each other, they'll fight until you have a hermit fort.
Hell, Failcannon will probably end with a tiny one-room fort for every single dwarf so they dont utterly murder eachother in a free-for-all slaughter.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 11, 2011, 11:13:13 am
- Journal Entry 16 -
Yet again, I've faked my death. This one was awful close though. Who would've thought they'd believe a few underpaid humans in a bad costume with a flamethrower was really an eldricht forgotten horror?
What we really never saw coming was that you'd fake your death deep below the earth far from the fort where no one could see or even hear! You'll notice Catalyst wasn't the one to report it. But yeah, you've certainly outwitted us lot :P
Another Aussie Dwarf, Yet Another Aussie Dwarf, Even More Aussie Dwarf, Return of Aussie Dwarf, Aussie Dwarf: The Reckoning, Aussie Dwarf: Reloaded, Aussie Dwarf II: Plump Helmet Boogaloo, Here's More Aussie Dwarf, Aussie Dwarf: Salvation, Aussie Dwarf: Revolutions, Aussie Dwarf Prime, The Real Aussie Dwarf.....
Aussie Dwarf 007 - AdamantineFinger. Aussie Dwarf Strikes Back. Aussie Dwarf Does Graspedseduce... wait... you weren't supposed to see that last one. It goes in... in my other collection.
Last entry of the Journal of Mormota II
- snip -
(For my inevitable death.)
5 UristBucks says Mormota's one of, if not, the last to die!
Yeah, not seeing any indications its likely anytime soon. He's without a doubt the best equipped to survive currently. (Sane, unrestricted movement, miner, military...)
Soooo... what happens if everyone in the fortress becomes an enemy? Also, do enemies fight between themselves?...
Not entirely sure. I don't think they'll fight just because they aren't in the same group, but we have two seperate loyalties that are involved here. New migrants (the 4 "loyals") have loyalty to The Sword of Boots (the civ) and... I dont have it in front of me, I think its "The Enchanted Labor of Treaties" - a smaller group of some nature. It started as some dwarves became enemies of one of those civs, and some became enemies of the other, and eventually this cascade led the "traitor" dwarves to be enemies of both. So I think we actually had three varieties of traitors - Rebels against Sword of Boots, counter-revolutionaries against the Enchanted Labor of Treaties, and those who said "fuck everyone" and just attacked other dwarves on sight. I don't know if the third group would fight each other or not. If so it might explain how some of the really unexpected loyalty shifts came about.
Until Catalyst is dead by some means, and we have a new generation of migrants without problems, I highly recommend the next player keep a CLOSE eye on loyalties. Anytime there is a death, fight (I have been compulsively hitting "r" since I started, and its the only way I've managed to stop a lot of these fights from ending in death), new blood, or anything at all, CHECK.
This is awesome, Catalyst, you've done it. Failcannon has weathered another storm and survived! Now let's hope Stuzang doesn't pay a visit.
Praise from SethCreiyd himself! I'm glowing. That might be a forgotten beast syndrome though.
Post by: Karakzon on August 11, 2011, 11:31:59 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 11, 2011, 11:35:35 am
Quote
Praise from SethCreiyd himself! I'm glowing. That might be a forgotten beast syndrome though.
You've managed to schism a perfectly good dwarven civilization into not two but THREE factions. The Boatmurdered guys didn't even manage that.
Quote
What we really never saw coming was that you'd fake your death deep below the earth far from the fort where no one could see or even hear! You'll notice Catalyst wasn't the one to report it. But yeah, you've certainly outwitted us lot :P
I knew Catalyst sees all within the fort. I wasn't taking any chances!
Quote
Aussie Dwarf 007 - AdamantineFinger. Aussie Dwarf Strikes Back. Aussie Dwarf Does Graspedseduce... wait... you weren't supposed to see that last one. It goes in... in my other collection.
Oh god, my dwarf's being slashfic'ed. Or worse.... Damn you Rule 34!
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 11, 2011, 11:38:04 am
You've managed to schism a perfectly good dwarven civilization into not two but THREE factions. The Boatmurdered guys didn't even manage that.
Technically, FOUR. The 'loyal' dwarves, the Enchanted Labor insurrection, the Sword of Boots counter-revolution, and the demon-possessed "fuck everything" dwarves.
It's no wonder Catalyst turned into the last type. I can empathize.
Post by: Strategia on August 11, 2011, 03:10:53 pm
This is awesome, Catalyst, you've done it. Failcannon has weathered another storm and survived! Now let's hope Stuzang doesn't pay a visit.
Let's hope he does - and that he'll die in the Ocean of Goo. Or at the hands of an angry dorf.
Not entirely sure. I don't think they'll fight just because they aren't in the same group, but we have two seperate loyalties that are involved here. New migrants (the 4 "loyals") have loyalty to The Sword of Boots (the civ) and... I dont have it in front of me, I think its "The Enchanted Labor of Treaties" - a smaller group of some nature. It started as some dwarves became enemies of one of those civs, and some became enemies of the other, and eventually this cascade led the "traitor" dwarves to be enemies of both. So I think we actually had three varieties of traitors - Rebels against Sword of Boots, counter-revolutionaries against the Enchanted Labor of Treaties, and those who said "fuck everyone" and just attacked other dwarves on sight. I don't know if the third group would fight each other or not. If so it might explain how some of the really unexpected loyalty shifts came about.
IIRC, the Enchanted Labour of Treaties is the group that founded/runs/ran Failcannon. Basically, Failcannon is the location, while the Enchanted Labour of Treaties are its inhabitants, if I'm not mistaken.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 11, 2011, 03:37:06 pm
Post by: Strategia on August 11, 2011, 03:50:34 pm
Ahhh got it. Then it wasn't so much an insurrection as an attempted coup by Sword of Boots loyalists/royalists.
No, the Sword of Boots is the civ I believe, the Enchanted Labour of Treaties is (or should be, or was) part of it. The "Enchanted Labour of Treaties insurrection/Sword of Boots counterrevolution" sounds pretty accurate. If I'm not mistaken.
Post by: Mormota on August 11, 2011, 03:50:44 pm
Post by: Strategia on August 11, 2011, 04:23:13 pm
I have absolutely no idea what's going on in this fort any more. Migrants arrive, they die for some reason, the fort is flooded for another reason, then dwarves go mad, more dwarves die and I'm just laughing in my distress.
In other words, business as usual in Failcannon.
Post by: Gizogin on August 11, 2011, 06:05:55 pm
I have absolutely no idea what's going on in this fort any more. Migrants arrive, they die for some reason, the fort is flooded for another reason, then dwarves go mad, more dwarves die and I'm just laughing in my distress.
In other words, business as usual inFailcannonDwarf Fortress.
Fixed.
Post by: EmeraldWind on August 11, 2011, 11:55:56 pm
This is awesome, Catalyst, you've done it. Failcannon has weathered another storm and survived! Now let's hope Stuzang doesn't pay a visit.
If he does, I'll probably die from laughing. It seems like nothing can destroy this fort and if the beast that destroyed Battlefailed shows up, I think this fort could take it.
Plus, it would be the first time I heard of a fort avenging another fort's death. Honestly, win or lose Stuzang's return would be a defining moment of awesome for the game as a whole.
Post by: Eric Blank on August 12, 2011, 12:56:05 pm
I was expecting that they'd already been quarantined by way of burrows though...
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 12, 2011, 01:45:02 pm
Dead already? Hah.
I was expecting that they'd already been quarantined by way of burrows though...
The dwarves have been bad about respecting burrows. I've been using them extensively to control the dwarves movements as much as I have, but they can't really be relied upon as absolutes. Also, Erica got affected by the cascade when she was CARRYING a loyal dwarf. The ensuing tragedy was very much the expected result. That Katsuun would then get up again and manage to kill Erica? That was somewhat less expected.
Post by: Mormota on August 12, 2011, 04:06:37 pm
The caravan master is mad! He keeps speaking of great riches awaiting us if we reach FailCannon. More money and splendour than even of GraspedSeduce before it fell. I was hired, along with nine others, to keep the caravan safe on the journey. My promised payment? Right to settle in FailCannon and have wants no longer. Of those nine, only one is still alive. His name is Dagger. Ironically, he's using a steel battle axe, but by Armok! he's doing a mighty fine job at it! In the last attack he managed to hold a bronze colossus off while I could flank it and lop its head off. That attack cost us eight lives, and another wagon full of supplies. We tried to distribute some of it, but the traders won't have that. They refuse to carry anything.
I don't know if we'll ever get there alive. Hopes seem to diminish with every passing day. I don't even know why I started writing this diary. At this rate, all of us will be dead before reaching any civilised place.
OOC: Dagger = Urist.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 12, 2011, 05:13:01 pm
Spoiler: Edit: Repurposing a useless post to something interesting. Current ghosts! (click to show/hide)
Post by: Mormota on August 12, 2011, 05:21:18 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 12, 2011, 06:09:12 pm
I'll now look for ways to repurpose this post and the previous to something amusing.
Spoiler: Edit: Current FB's in and around the fort! (click to show/hide)
Post by: Eric Blank on August 12, 2011, 06:19:43 pm
I once lost a kobold cave i made to one. It was
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 13, 2011, 11:48:23 pm
Post by: Strategia on August 14, 2011, 12:20:23 am
It's all quiet at Battlefailed, it seems. That's never a good sign. It means something's lurking down in the Caverns and hungering for fresh dwarf.
That's the FB civ in the Lake of Goo (Gzzmshn Hnflkb, "The Blurry Riches of Smiting"), nothing to worry about, they're just a fixture. It's the megabeast Real Life laying siege to the fortress that's the real cause of trouble.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 14, 2011, 12:21:29 am
Post by: Mormota on August 14, 2011, 03:15:00 am
Post by: Eric Blank on August 14, 2011, 03:55:03 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 14, 2011, 04:02:16 am
Sorry for the lack of an update. It's been a lazy weekend after a long busy week. You will receive an update tomorrow (later today, at this point) - and barring more crazy shit that takes slowing down and playing with enormous care - it should wrap up my turn.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 14, 2011, 05:13:56 am
Sorry for the lack of an update. It's been a lazy weekend after a long busy week. You will receive an update tomorrow (later today, at this point) - and barring more crazy shit that takes slowing down and playing with enormous care - it should wrap up my turn.
You'd think people would've learned by now not to tempt fate when it comes to taking their turn in FailCannon.
Post by: Deamonpies on August 14, 2011, 03:33:41 pm
Would never have imagined that one fort could survive so much, even after reading Battlefailed.
Congratulations to you all.
Post by: Strategia on August 14, 2011, 05:04:59 pm
Floods, tantrum spirals, Forgotten Beasts, epidemics, loyalty cascades, near-extinction - now all we need to do is breach Hell and this fort will have survived everything. The demons will get so lost in Lower Failcannon they'll never pose a real threat to the upper levels, I'm sure.
If we do indeed have a civilisation of Forgotten Beasts under our feet, rest assured, it is not our main concern. Which might not be a good sign, coming to think of it.
Sigged.
Post by: Mormota on August 14, 2011, 05:33:17 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 14, 2011, 05:38:51 pm
I've re-purposed two old posts so as not to bump too heavily
- Current FB's in the vicinity of Failcannon (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2529051#msg2529051)
- Current dwarves risen to haunt the fortress. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=64258.msg2528891#msg2528891)
Man, I would have expected either of those to be well over 5. Looks like everything is coming in fives lately.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 14, 2011, 08:55:42 pm
Quote
Man, I would have expected either of those to be well over 5. Looks like everything is coming in fives lately.
You should see my fort. There's a LOT of ghosts (many with unrecoverable corpses, and no WAY could i stop and carve memorials for them all). And mass graves. Guy i showed it to was honestly terrified of the place.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 14, 2011, 10:44:41 pm
No sooner had the fort begun to relax, and I had opened the wall to my tower in the interest of making some improvements outside, when the Goblins struck again.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I breathed a sigh of relief knowing, at least, the main gate was closed. The other four should have been safe. I mobilized my 'squad' consisting of myself, alone, which I have dubbed "The Noiseless Coal" - for I sit in darkness and silence providing warmth to the fortress - and made to repair my wall. Mentally, I reached out to Mekboy and impressed upon him the idea that pulling a certain lever was much more important than any other tasks he might see at hand. I now depart to see this through. It may be my last entry - but I can rest at peace with the knowledge that, whether I succeed or fail, this will not be the final record of Failcannon.
-------
Astounding success! The Pump had no trouble flooding the beach. Though it did not drown the goblins, they were unable to approach the fortress against the buffeting waves of foul and frigid salt water. And with winter upon us, I had no doubt they would leave us be soon enough. Some of the trolls had more sense and climbed into the strange tower directly in front of the fortress. We'll deal with those when we come to it, I suppose.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Meanwhile - ghosts come, ghosts go...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
- more Forgotten Beasts stir in the caverns below...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
- and a diplomat comes calling, thankfully seperated from the flood and the goblins by a wall. I manage to open the gate for him and let him in. I'm not sure any of the others have caught wind of his presence yet, however. I conducted him into my chambers (suffering a near-miss, or near-hit as the case may be, with Mormota in the process) and discussed the needs of the Fortress.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The meeting went rather long, as I found myself rambling about the history of Failcannon (as I butchered a horse skeleton I had dragged in, and made a few crafts and a totem from its bones). I think I may have scared the poor fellow. In any case, I requested wood and various items of armor, some cheese, and trap components. It is most likely the caravan will perish outside our gates like so many before, anyhow. We may as well acquire the more expensive goods. In the unlikely event that we find ourselves actually _trading_ with them, I have recorded the details of their desired trade goods as well.
After the long hard negotiations, I took a break to listen to the confused bickering of the soggy goblins. The others had begun resetting the Failpump and refilling the reservoir. I had hoped we might trick the goblins into entering the empty floodchamber, seal the enterances and then refill, but it turns our goblins are not that stupid. Pity. Their stymied anguish was nonetheless quite amusing. Enough so that it was some time later I realized I had neglected to actually open the door so our trade liaison could leave.
Afterwards, I cursed myself for not requesting more swordfish bone items! I decreed it was time to abadon my hopes of acquiring more, and be content with holding on to those we already have. I swear, however, that the writ of arrest issued under my authority was an act of Led's manipulation, and not my own doing.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
As the cold winter wore on, the soaked goblins departed, and I am left alone with my thoughts once more. I find myself brooding on poor Urist. It is clear that I cannot go on as the overseer of this fort in my current state. I issue a few final orders, to engrave and erect memorial slabs for those dead we cannot bury, in the hopes of laying a few of the troublesome ghosts to rest, and make it known that there will be another mayorial election upon the arrival of the next wave of migrants. I will not be running.
And now, I return to my training. Someday I will either give my life in defense of this fortress, or, far less likely, I will be its immortal champion. It is hardly the fate I had in mind when I came to Ungegugath, but it will serve. If future generations of Dwarves are still here, in five years, in ten, in fifty, here in this fortress built on the blood, sweat, and vomit of countless generations, every child born, every migrant who arrives to a viable settlement and not a ruin, is a black eye to the Tyrant Queen. If they say of me, "She lived out the rest of her life in Failcannon on the Plains of Ooze, by the Blueness of Malodors", I will take comfort in knowing, among all who have ever seen this place, that is known as the highest of achievements.
- Catalyst "Rimlured" Tiristlektad
---------------------------
May FailCannon live on another 20 years! (that's right - this turn marks 20 years on Aluonra). I'm a little sad I didn't get to do much in the way of construction or other improvements or production, but that's obviously outweighed easily by the joy of surviving overwhelming odds.
My advice to the next overseer? Learn what the levers do early on (the ones you'll need are mostly clustered in one room right below the courtyard, it turns out, and the others are scattered across the courtyard) and DO NOT LET CATALYST NEAR OTHER DWARVES. Keep the gates closed except for migrants and trade caravans and close them immediately behind them. Now's a poor time for risks - we need to keep dwarves alive and draw in a few migrants.
I'll cut my comments and suggestions short, and just say it's been a pleasure and a privilege. I hope you have enjoyed my updates half as much as I have enjoyed making them.
FailCannon, Spring 536 - Save (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4834)
Post by: rridgway on August 15, 2011, 12:46:53 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 15, 2011, 02:07:38 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 15, 2011, 02:13:24 am
Post by: Eric Blank on August 15, 2011, 02:51:26 am
I request that the next overseer ensure that the corpses of at least one of my dwarves is removed from their coffin and not buried, so I may haunt the fortress. Unless they're particularly dangerous ghosts... Just destroy all their coffins and forbid the corpses, then permit the least dangerous one to remain... It'll probably take a few years.
I pray that the fort survives just long enough for my turn to come up...
Katsuun! Go forth and revive this fortress, to a new glory!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 15, 2011, 03:23:38 am
Same as last time: Catalyst, Mormota, Urist, Dariush, and Mekboy. Migrants usually arrive at some point in Spring, so the next player will have the honor of the next round of dorfing.
Now I'm picturing That Aussie Dwarf huddling in a cave somewhere just outside Failcannon all winter, looking for an opportunity to slip back in.
Post by: Mormota on August 15, 2011, 05:13:18 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 15, 2011, 09:44:29 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 15, 2011, 11:52:21 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 15, 2011, 04:37:07 pm
Incidentally, I did what I could to restore framerates right before the end of my turn. The pump is shut off, animals are slaughtered,and at least a few routes have been simplified. The ghosts haven't been laid to rest yet but should be soon. This may have cost maybe a day or two of spring, but no more than that. I hope the framerate proves playable for others.
Edit: of course, the loyalty cascade did more to "simplify" things than I ever could.
Post by: Eric Blank on August 15, 2011, 09:31:59 pm
However, navigating this place is...
Post by: Teneb on August 16, 2011, 12:03:35 pm
Name: Deathsword II
Profession: Wrestler
Post by: Felcis on August 16, 2011, 02:30:58 pm
Anyway, I would be honered if I could get another redorf when it is possible again, since I already lost my second dwarf a few years ago. Name is "Feilcis" and the title and profession as you wish (Marks- or Fisherdwarf preferred though).
Post by: SethCreiyd on August 17, 2011, 03:01:12 am
... I just now finally saw Seth's warning about Takua. *facepalm* I should really work on my skills of careful reading. I was rushing to catch up with the thread in time for my turn, I guess.
Seeing how it all turned out with the epic suspenseful turn and the fort managing to live, I'm kind of glad you missed it. Hopefully it was all as fun as it looked.
Current thread's title is perfect.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 17, 2011, 02:38:18 pm
Current thread's title is perfect.
I was going to use lyrics from Still Alive, but I think that can wait until next year or so.
No response from Katsuun, so moving on in 3... 2... 1...
Post by: Keltiknight on August 17, 2011, 03:17:16 pm
EDIT: Sorry guys, it made my comp freak out, skip me please.
Post by: Darvi on August 17, 2011, 04:46:02 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on August 17, 2011, 08:40:40 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 17, 2011, 10:43:41 pm
No response from Katsuun, so moving on in 3... 2... 1...
Downloading save, lets hope it works....it says it will be roughly 20 minutes, I will be a bit, if this works, I will be shocked.
EDIT: Sorry guys, it made my comp freak out, skip me please.
The FailCurse continues in glorious Battlefailed tradition!
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 18, 2011, 12:36:30 am
Seeing how it all turned out with the epic suspenseful turn and the fort managing to live, I'm kind of glad you missed it. Hopefully it was all as fun as it looked.
Oh don't get me wrong, I am too. It was clearly better this way :-D I certainly had an enormous amount of fun and also Fun - and probably annoyed all my non-DF-playing friends by rambling about the game constantly.
Can't wait to see the next turn, and the next 5 after that. I'm curious what different approaches each person will take to the fort and to writing about it. That, and about what madness will spring from the depths next.
Post by: Mormota on August 18, 2011, 02:05:30 am
That, and about what madness will spring from the depths next.
Considering this is FailCannon, it would be easier to answer the question "What madness won't spring from the depths in the following year?"
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 18, 2011, 07:39:58 am
Post by: Darvi on August 18, 2011, 07:48:52 am
Considering who the next Overseer is, the question should be "How long until time has to get rewinded again? Ha!That, and about what madness will spring from the depths next.
Considering this is FailCannon, it would be easier to answer the question "What madness won't spring from the depths in the following year?"
... Remind me to kill you on the next opportunity.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 18, 2011, 07:56:28 am
Post by: gamewizardinnc on August 19, 2011, 02:48:27 am
Post by: Darvi on August 19, 2011, 09:06:24 am
This one only has 5 live dorfs, all of them already named, and none of them me :V
That is totally not good for the kind of narration I had in mind.
Post by: rridgway on August 19, 2011, 11:19:17 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 19, 2011, 11:37:23 am
By the way, anyone experiencing crashes when their turn comes up - are you attempting to use a graphics pack? I noticed this problem at first - it's important to selectively re-copy some of the Object files from the original save over the ones installed by LNP to prevent crashes. You can copy the ones from the save wholesale, but then the tiles will look funky - I tried using just the Inorganic, plant, item, and other such world-related ones from the graphics pack and otherwise the Failcannon save files (most importantly Entity Default and Reactions), and it worked out pretty well.
Edit in response to Urist: Holy Carp One Year! I suggest temporarily changing the topic to reflect this.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 19, 2011, 11:38:06 am
Post by: arcangelsd on August 19, 2011, 05:32:31 pm
One year of failcannon. Holy carp.
Post by: Mekboy on August 19, 2011, 07:36:11 pm
Damn.
Post by: gamewizardinnc on August 19, 2011, 08:20:36 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 19, 2011, 08:26:02 pm
EDIT: No, I am not saying we're ready for HFS yet.
Post by: rridgway on August 19, 2011, 08:27:34 pm
I would be surprised if we don't, barring HFS involvement.
So, we won't make it, then?
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 19, 2011, 09:15:17 pm
Post by: EmeraldWind on August 19, 2011, 09:40:02 pm
Oh god, FailCannon's one year old realtime? Those poor dwarves and all we've put them through.... Here's to another year of dwarven death and misery! Uh, i mean... May Failcannon prosper and succeed!
Same thing really.
Happy Birthday Failcannon!
Post by: Gizogin on August 19, 2011, 10:03:49 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 19, 2011, 10:11:07 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on August 19, 2011, 10:50:33 pm
Darvi, I would suggest a third person narrative. Written as an epic. (Not necessarily... That would be ridiculously hard to accomplish!)
Post by: Strategia on August 19, 2011, 11:31:15 pm
Darvi, I would suggest a third person narrative. Written as an epic. (Not necessarily... That would be ridiculously hard to accomplish!)
I might give that a shot. Would certainly be interesting.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 20, 2011, 01:07:26 am
BTW, catalyst, it seems that i'm not able to open the compressed archive. Or at least winrar can't. I haven't had any problems with the other saves, it's weird..
One year of failcannon. Holy carp.
Download 7zip - I guess winrar doesn't work for .7z files.
I really want to read this Failcannon epic poem - I just wish I had thought of writing such a thing first :P
Post by: Eric Blank on August 20, 2011, 01:24:47 am
Post by: Mekboy on August 20, 2011, 05:58:06 am
Post by: SlimyMarmot on August 20, 2011, 07:44:15 am
Post by: Darvi on August 20, 2011, 07:54:54 am
"Sir?"
"Do take a seat. You have news from Ungègugath, I hear?"
"Yes sir."
"First, tell me the bad news."
"The population of the place has gone down to five dwarves, one of them in prison for *checks his notes* violation of production orders. Their animal stocks have also been radically reduced, not counting the ridiculously high number of imprisoned goblins and lurking terrors of the deep."
*sigh* "I have told the Queen at least a dozen times that we could easily make a fortune if we let those prisoners fight in the arenas of the capital, but she just wouldn't hear of it. What're the good news?"
"The good news are that the survivors are in no immediate threat of dying, neither by hunger, thirst, or murder. They are currently busy clearing up the fortress, even though it takes a while due to a lack of manpower and infrastructure."
"I see. Send in some new volunteers then. I'd rather have the place abandoned, but unfortunately it's an integral part of our economy."
What a joke. Of course it's not important, except to our dear Queen to exile anybody who displeases her.
"Yes sir."
"Also appoint Urist as the new manager, Mekboy as the broker 'n bookkeeper, and Monota as the new arsenal dwarf."
"What about Cataclyst?"
"The madwoman? She has killed several dwarves so far and imprisoned others. She's also the mayor. People shouldn't have too much power, and dangerous ones like her doubly so!"
"Understood. But... she's also complaining about her quarters."
"What, too small for her?"
"Yes. She's complaining that she has but one room for resting, eating, and work."
"Aight then. Hand me the maps."
...
Spoiler: I point at the map. (click to show/hide)
"But sir, that's miles below the main part of the fortress!"
"So? I don't see how that would be a problem. You can assign her old room to Urist. Anything else?"
"Well, there's the matter of ghosts..."
"They still haven't gotten rid of them?"
Spoiler: "No sir. One of them has been driving Dariush mad for a while." (click to show/hide)
"Only a few more days. However, with how busy everyone is, they might forget him in the dungeon anyway."
He started nervously fidgeting with his beard.
"I see.All the more a reason to send in some people that aren't currently preoccupied."
"I will send out for them immediately."
"Good. You may leave now."
"One more thing sir."
"What?"
"On the Queens orders... you are to... leave for Failcannon immediately."
"WHAT?"
"She also says if you're not gone until sunset, you are to be executed on the spot."
"wat"
"Good day, sir."
Post by: Groveller on August 20, 2011, 09:15:43 am
What a year it has been. I wouldn't like to have skipped over a big chunk - I'd have no idea what was going on. Anyway, requesting Grov III, whateverist.
Post by: Darvi on August 20, 2011, 09:22:36 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 20, 2011, 09:27:14 am
If Failcannon was a dwarf, it would likely resemble a high master comedian going through stark raving mad, melancholy and berserk simultaneously. Happy birthday, you frightening bastard of a fortress.
You forgot "is getting used to tragedy/doesn't really care about anything anymore" and "cant remember the last time s/he had a drink"
Post by: Groveller on August 20, 2011, 10:37:52 am
Post by: RT-073 on August 20, 2011, 11:33:50 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 20, 2011, 11:57:03 am
Post by: RT-073 on August 20, 2011, 12:25:33 pm
Post by: Bleaktea on August 20, 2011, 01:23:07 pm
"I am Urist, King of Kings. Look upon my FUCK, ye mighty, and despair!"
Post by: Savolainen5 on August 20, 2011, 02:00:15 pm
Oh god, FailCannon's one year old realtime? Those poor dwarves and all we've put them through.... Here's to another year of dwarven death and misery! Uh, i mean... May Failcannon prosper and succeed!
Given this, how many years have passed in-game? Is it a mere 19 as the turn-list would assume?
Post by: Darvi on August 20, 2011, 02:07:06 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 20, 2011, 02:10:08 pm
Post by: Mormota on August 20, 2011, 03:03:00 pm
and Monota as the new arsenal dwarf."
Who is that?
Post by: Darvi on August 20, 2011, 03:05:23 pm
Post by: Scaraban on August 20, 2011, 03:08:36 pm
Somebody who only exists in my inability to remember stuff longer than a second or two.Oh this will go well...
Post by: Strategia on August 20, 2011, 03:51:01 pm
Whose cascade was featured in fanon
Everyone died
Nobody cried
'Cause the Overseer was too busy laughin'
I suck at limericks. Also it's impossible to rhyme "cannon".
Post by: Darvi on August 20, 2011, 03:51:49 pm
Post by: Strategia on August 20, 2011, 04:11:38 pm
Quote
annan, annen, bannan, bannon, brannan, brannen, brannon, branon, cannan, canon, channon, dannen, fannon, gannon, grannan, hannan, hannen, hannon, lannan, lannen, lannon, mannen, mannon, shannon, tanen, tannen, yannone
The 3-syllable ones were all places in Ireland.
Post by: Darvi on August 20, 2011, 04:14:55 pm
BANNED! (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/gannon-banned.com/)Quotegannon
Post by: Strategia on August 20, 2011, 04:30:41 pm
BANNED! (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/gannon-banned.com/)Quotegannon
I know, right =/ And "fannon".
Post by: ImBocaire on August 20, 2011, 05:42:32 pm
Post by: MagmaMcFry on August 20, 2011, 05:46:01 pm
A demonic apocalypse is easy to miss - blink and it's over! :P
It has to be an ingame blink, a RL blink is too short.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 21, 2011, 12:00:16 am
There once was a fort named Failcannon
Whose cascade was featured in fanon
Everyone died
Nobody cried
'Cause the Overseer was too busy laughin'
This made me laugh out loud. Bystanders are now looking at me like I am insane. Slinking away: in progress.
Post by: Darvi on August 21, 2011, 01:01:57 pm
Post by: jorum on August 21, 2011, 02:09:18 pm
Just popping up to say hello. I've been reading from start and have finally caught up to "realtime".
(I've actually just finished reading Headshoot, Syrupleaf, Battlefailed and Failcannon so am kinda dreaming in DF, not good).
Anyway, amazing fort/story. I can't believe Failcannon is still chugging along. Pulling out of that cascade was awesome.
Post by: Mormota on August 21, 2011, 03:08:20 pm
(I've actually just finished reading Headshoot, Syrupleaf, Battlefailed and Failcannon so am kinda dreaming in DF, not good).
Welcome to the crowd. Also, don't forget to read Boatmurdered. You can find it in the Hall of Legends or on lparchive.
Post by: jorum on August 21, 2011, 03:18:01 pm
Also was exploring one of the old fcannon saves - trying to actually form an image of how everywhere links up is near impossible.
It's glorious.
I also released the ettin just because and Glacial one-shotted it (instant bisection).
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 21, 2011, 09:59:37 pm
(I've actually just finished reading Headshoot, Syrupleaf, Battlefailed and Failcannon so am kinda dreaming in DF, not good).
Welcome to the crowd. Also, don't forget to read Boatmurdered. You can find it in the Hall of Legends or on lparchive.
I STILL burst out laughing any time i see
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: jorum on August 22, 2011, 01:27:45 pm
Hey, what lever do I have to pull to get the newbies into the fort?An "L: view links" command would be so useful.
Although it would remove most of the !!fun!!.
Post by: Gizogin on August 22, 2011, 01:46:07 pm
Post by: Darvi on August 22, 2011, 02:44:54 pm
You have been warned...
Post by: Teneb on August 22, 2011, 02:56:41 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 22, 2011, 03:33:48 pm
Hey, what lever do I have to pull to get the newbies into the fort?
Central red lever in the room of levers, I believe?
Edit: Oh... too late.
Pulling levers at random can't possibly be a bad thing though.
Post by: Darvi on August 22, 2011, 03:39:52 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 22, 2011, 04:24:14 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 22, 2011, 04:33:28 pm
Hey, it resulted in letting goblins into the fort, releasing trolls, and unleashing a pissed-off, danger-room-trained Ettin on my Overseer, which miraculously went on to save the fortress from the aforementioned goblins and trolls.And ending with five dwarves left alive.
Post by: Darvi on August 22, 2011, 04:40:24 pm
IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER!
Post by: rridgway on August 22, 2011, 08:19:36 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 22, 2011, 11:48:35 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 23, 2011, 12:32:16 am
Nothing can ever be good in this place.
Sounds like !!Fun!! to me!
Post by: UristMcPenguin on August 23, 2011, 12:52:01 am
Post by: RT-073 on August 23, 2011, 03:30:14 am
Post by: Johuotar on August 23, 2011, 04:14:34 am
Nothing can ever be good in this place.
Not even cheese?
I'd say that deconstructing everything and building everything from scratch is viable option. (Regarding levers) Or it would be if theres not enough dorfpower.
Post by: Darvi on August 23, 2011, 04:16:23 am
Start game.
Use eldritch magicks to make the immigrants practically immortal.
???
Remove eldtrich magicks.
Profit!
Post by: arcangelsd on August 23, 2011, 06:18:04 am
Here's my plan.
Start game.
Use eldritch magicks to make the immigrants practically immortal.
???
Remove eldtrich magicks.
Profit!
And take out the FUN?
I dissaprove of your plan. Still, do whatever you see fine.
Post by: Strategia on August 23, 2011, 09:35:28 pm
Here's my plan.
Start game.
Use eldritch magicks to make the immigrants practically immortal.
???
Remove eldtrich magicks.
Profit!
And take out the FUN?
I dissaprove of your plan. Still, do whatever you see fine.
I'd recommend:
-Start game.
-Get a handful of sane, healthy dorfs to a saferoom with food, booze, and perhaps some weapons and tools.
-Use the remaining dorfs to see what everything does (http://sadpanda.us/images/624618-Z77QDFZ.jpg).
-Leave the problem of how to turn three dorfs in a saferoom back into a thriving (or at least, surviving) fort to the next player on the list.
--Alternatively: Watch as three dorfs in saferoom get surprised by a sudden torrent of water/a horde of pissed-off goblin prisoners/a flood of magma/whatever.
-Report findings.
-???
-Profit
Post by: Johuotar on August 24, 2011, 03:37:16 am
I support testing the levers.
Post by: Darvi on August 24, 2011, 03:40:06 am
-Get a handful of sane, healthy dorfs to a saferoom with food, booze, and perhaps some weapons and tools.This is where it fails.
Really, all I'm waiting for now is to find out how to write this from the POV of somebody who died before even setting a foot into the fort.
Post by: RT-073 on August 24, 2011, 03:44:25 am
Post by: kisame12794 on August 24, 2011, 07:13:05 am
Post by: Mormota on August 25, 2011, 03:09:35 am
Post by: Darvi on August 25, 2011, 12:28:19 pm
"I don't know sir.", the messenger replies. Apparently he also got banished here, for a frivolous reason no doubt. The queen probably also has a thing against people from down-under.
"I thought there were still survivors here?"
"No doubt sir. Most people were killed, but those that are left are as durable as adamantine."
"Just like us then." The two of us are the last survivors of our migration group. The others have been done in by a combination of zombie trolls, skeletal buzzards and a freak woodcutting accident. "You hear that noise?"
"Yes sir."
"Now doubt for the stuff lying around here."
That was true. The entire area, as far as I can see, was covered in all kinds of junk. Barrels, cages, arms, bolts, legs and arms, several of which still were wearim clothes.
"Well look it on the bright side, sir. We have food lying around, there's booze, and the weather has cleared up too!"
As if by divine irony, gallons and gallons of water poured on my head. While Aussie almost got swept away, I was too busy planting my hand into my face for such nonsense. A few seconds later, it stopped again. "That was the flood gate wasn't it?"
"Yes sir."
Sigh. "Do these buffoons not know which lever to pull or are they being pretentious arseholes to us?"
"No idea sir. Maybe-"
Boohoohooohooooo~
"Please tell me it's not what I think it is."
"It's not what you think it is, sir"
"So it's not a zombie goast that is making fun of us?"
"Not quite sir."
"Have they still not completed the sacred rites of burial?"
"Seems like not, sir."
"Aussie?"
"Sir?"
"This will be a looong spring I'm afraid."
Not a lot happened really. Mostly (dis)abling jobs and removing designations. And apparently the only dwarf willing to pull any levers was Dariush... who at the moment still was imprisoned. And none of the levers actually lowered the drawbridge, which is why I told them to connect one of them to it. They still haven't, unsurprisingly, since Catalyst apparently has no job right now. The good news is that they have actually begun to place new memorials, so that should calm the buggering undead for now.
Post by: Mormota on August 25, 2011, 12:46:37 pm
Journal of Mormota II
We are getting close. It will be over soon. I know it will be. It has to be. Urist is dying. We must get there in time. We must save him. I can't care about the others, not any more. He has to live. I promised him.
An entry sometime later.
I can't believe it happened. We were so close! I heard the waves in my dreams, we must be so close! I hope he's satisfied with the speech I gave him. It's the best I could do. I'm now alone. Alone in my task to save three others, and myself. Three others, among them the caravan master. I swear I'll kill him before we get there! He must be punished for this!
Post by: Darvi on August 25, 2011, 01:42:33 pm
And people in general are content at the least, with me and Aussie being the relatively unhappiest. I WANT TO GO TO MY FUCKING BED YOU ARSEHOLES!
Post by: SirAaronIII on August 25, 2011, 07:54:20 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 25, 2011, 08:41:30 pm
You're happy.
And people in general are content at the least, with me and Aussie being the relatively unhappiest. I WANT TO GO TO MY FUCKING BED YOU ARSEHOLES!
Have i been redwarfed into a position of second-in-command? Interesting....
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 25, 2011, 08:48:59 pm
Catalyst has no job? She ought to be training. Forever. Locked safely away in that tower where she can't hurt any of the other dwarves.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 25, 2011, 09:12:51 pm
... of all the wrong levers to pull... that was definitely the most hilarious.
Catalyst has no job? She ought to be training. Forever. Locked safely away in that tower where she can't hurt any of the other dwarves.
And one day, she'll break out, strong and Legendary in all combat disciplines to kill the fortress single-handedly in the name of the rebels.
Post by: Strategia on August 26, 2011, 12:37:10 am
... of all the wrong levers to pull... that was definitely the most hilarious.
Catalyst has no job? She ought to be training. Forever. Locked safely away in that tower where she can't hurt any of the other dwarves.
And one day, she'll break out, strong and Legendary in all combat disciplines to kill the fortress single-handedly in the name of the rebels.
I now have something to do on my turn.
Post by: Darvi on August 26, 2011, 02:19:36 am
Which is why I disabled the training range. Seriously, I may be crazy, but not suicidal!... of all the wrong levers to pull... that was definitely the most hilarious.
Catalyst has no job? She ought to be training. Forever. Locked safely away in that tower where she can't hurt any of the other dwarves.
And one day, she'll break out, strong and Legendary in all combat disciplines to kill the fortress single-handedly in the name of the rebels.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 26, 2011, 10:12:08 am
Post by: Darvi on August 26, 2011, 10:57:19 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 26, 2011, 09:42:54 pm
Which is why I disabled the training range. Seriously, I may be crazy, but not suicidal!
So you're the BORING kind of crazy? :P She'd never break out - I even deconstructed the stairs. Train her up, sacrifice her to the next goblin siege or FB and see how she does! But anyway, your fort, your rules. Already enjoying your updates and looking forward to the next one.
Edit: So any ideas for re-assigning the crazy psychic former Overseer? If you're just going to starve her at least make her dig out of the fortress walls and wall herself outside so she doesn't eat up the reserve rations and take years to die.
Post by: Darvi on August 27, 2011, 04:08:53 am
I'll re-enable her training once I get back to playing.
Post by: Karakzon on August 27, 2011, 04:30:00 am
All those levers getting you down?
Green and eldrich horrors escaping from cages?
have to run to close the drawbridge?
Never fear! with the all new dwarfputer this newfangled device will fufill all your lever pulling needs.
Disclaimer: We are not responsable for any failed moods, pyschopathic escapees or any other accidents incured during the operation and maintanence of the dorfputer that dosent comform to standard guidelines.
Enjoy!
Post by: Groveller on August 27, 2011, 11:00:38 am
Actually I didn't know she was trapped in there and wanted her to do something actually, you know, useful, like pulling some frigging levers.
I'll re-enable her training once I get back to playing.
I believe she was locked in there to stop her from spreading the demonic mind-plague which killed 95% of our population in the previous turn.
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 27, 2011, 12:12:12 pm
Actually I didn't know she was trapped in there and wanted her to do something actually, you know, useful, like pulling some frigging levers.
I'll re-enable her training once I get back to playing.
... You know that she'll kill any dwarves she sees and restart the loyalty cascade if you let her out, right?
I believe she was locked in there to stop her from spreading the demonic mind-plague which killed 95% of our population in the previous turn.
By my calculations... 49 at beginning... 10 migrants... 5 at the end... actually just over 90% :P
Post by: Mormota on August 27, 2011, 06:24:50 pm
Mormota has organised a party at the plastic keyboard.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 27, 2011, 10:22:10 pm
Post by: Mormota on August 28, 2011, 04:06:16 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 28, 2011, 07:08:20 am
Post by: Darvi on August 28, 2011, 12:11:37 pm
Don't expect any updates.
Post by: Darvi on August 28, 2011, 03:08:40 pm
Post by: Mormota on August 28, 2011, 03:24:53 pm
Well what's more entertaining? Leaving a seditious traitor to the dwarven civilization who can corrupt other dwarves onto her side locked and waiting out their death in a sealed room while doing nothing except tantrumming, OR dropping weapons (optionally; adamantine ones along with armor) into Catalyst's cell and training her so that when !!Fun!! inevitably breaks down her door (let's face it, this IS FailCannon), she leaps out determined to be the last dwarf standing?
Then she saves the Fort, only to slaughter all migrants? Perfect plan!
Darvi, did you try checking if the dwarves can actually walk to the bridge? It may be cut off somehow, like that one last time when the stairs disappeared. Was that in Battlefailed or here? It's all one big mess for me.
Post by: Darvi on August 28, 2011, 03:30:06 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on August 28, 2011, 04:56:50 pm
Post by: Mormota on August 30, 2011, 10:35:01 am
Post by: Darvi on August 30, 2011, 01:39:14 pm
Post by: Dariush on August 31, 2011, 02:48:19 am
Anybody? Try everybody.Courtesy of me, my trade entrance and Dwarf Therapist. ;D
Post by: Olith McHuman on August 31, 2011, 03:30:00 am
Since I'm posting, I may as well say that I loved battlefailed, and failcannon is just as good (or, you know, just as very very horribly bad).
Post by: Mormota on September 03, 2011, 03:13:00 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 04, 2011, 01:30:06 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 04, 2011, 03:36:42 am
If Darvi updates before derekiv claims the turn, we'll let Darvi finish.
Post by: Darvi on September 04, 2011, 08:31:02 am
To make up for it, I'll write an interlude.
Post by: LordSlowpoke on September 04, 2011, 08:34:14 am
Post by: Darvi on September 04, 2011, 09:14:09 am
Somewhere outside the fortress walls, unknown to the dwarves, an army of darkness has been raised, to raze the place from the world maps.
Apparently, even enemy goblins find the place to unbearable to live in. Or maybe they were hoping for some easy riches by attacking a weakened fort.
Leading the troops was Azstrog Blazescorpions, a Hammerlord of much renown. She's not the tallest goblin there is, but makes up for it with her muscles and fiendish cunning.
"Listen you wimps!", she shouts in the goblin tongue(in which she's surprisingly eloquent (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EloquentInMyNativeTongue), despite the stereotypes. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouNoTakeCandle)). "We're about to make lay siege to the most dangerous place around! They may have told you that there's hardly any of those beards left!" The crowd murmured in agreement, maybe even with joy. "But don't let your guard down! There's horrors of the deep, countless traps, the Undead, a veritable labyrinth of death! And one of beards is said to be a real monster, crueler than any other of its kin! It is said that it was possessed by a daemon, and started to shred apart the others with its bear claws! I mean, bare claws."
She stared at the weaker goblins. Most of them were marksmen, and they didn't look too keen on going hand to hand with a crazy dwarf.
"But!", Azstrog continued, "you have been chosen for this attack because you are the best of the best! Together, we have nothing to fear! Together, We can destroy anything.
When we work together, Failcannon! WILL! FAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!!"
Due to the psychological effect of teamwork (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ZergRush), the goblins' mood lifted quite a lot. Some joined in the shouting, while others lifted their crosbows and bows into the air. After all, with so many other people around, the probability of any given goblin to get killed is slim (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailStatisticsForever).
After the crowd calmed down, the hammerlord continued: "So, any more questions?"
A humble crossbowgoblin in the front row raised his hand.
"Yes?"
"Uh... I dunno but..."
"Come on ma, out with it!"
Spoiler: "But isn't the entrance to the fortress on the other side of this wall?" (click to show/hide)
And that's how my dwarf got the profession of a "Lucky SOB"
Post by: derekiv on September 04, 2011, 09:14:46 am
Post by: The Master on September 04, 2011, 01:01:29 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 05, 2011, 06:57:01 am
If the fort somehow lives long enough(1 in 9999999999999 chance), AND if you're still open to more people, I'd like to take a turn. IF yes(*crosses fingers*), I'll dwarf myself on my turn.Nah, 1 in 9999999999999 chance is a too high chance. If we are speaking of battlefailed it is.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 05, 2011, 07:28:35 am
Post by: Darvi on September 05, 2011, 10:02:03 am
I cannot let that happen.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 05, 2011, 10:52:11 am
Saxon wants to take over the fort?
I cannot let that happen.
But he seems good... I guess.... *tap-tap-tap-tap*
Post by: Darvi on September 05, 2011, 11:37:36 am
"Sorry, but we were busy cleaning up the place. And then there's the ghosts, and there's only five of us..."
"And it didn't occur to you even once to lower the drawbridge?"
"Well that's the thing, we appear to have misplaced the lever..."
No comment. But Urist really looks like she has no clue. "Who's in charge of the place right now anyway?"
"Nobody is. We're an autonomous collective."
"Stop fooling yourself", Dariush interrupts. "This is a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes-"
"Quit the random nonsense and tell me who the mayor is."
"We don't have a mayor", Urist replies.
"What."
"I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week."
"Uh..."
"But all the decision of that officer-"
"Listen, I was told Catalyst was the mayor here-"
"Well she's a madwoman ain't she. We left her to her delusions and locked her up with a buncha food and booze. She's not doing much aside from punching the crap outta some training dummies."
"No wonder you don't get anything done."
"Well at least we don't going around oppressing people. Dariush here has spent months in prison because she stood up to the violence inherent to the system."
"Excuse me, but I suddenly remember that I'm very hungry and tired and that I need a drink right now."
Well. Back to square one I think.
It started with seven. And I sure hope that it doesn't end with us seven either.
Post by: Eric Blank on September 05, 2011, 11:39:53 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 05, 2011, 11:47:11 am
"Well at least we don't going around oppressing people. Dariush here has spent months in prison because she stood up to the violence inherent to the system."
Dariush stood up against the violence inherent in the system. So we beat the crap out of him and stuck him in a prison cell to think about the irony.
So who's alive/dorfed at this point?
Post by: Darvi on September 05, 2011, 11:49:32 am
Post by: Darvi on September 05, 2011, 04:09:42 pm
Spoiler: Here's what we've got. (click to show/hide)
Anybody have any preferences?
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 05, 2011, 09:52:16 pm
Post by: Darvi on September 06, 2011, 05:14:23 am
Post by: Mormota on September 06, 2011, 11:38:33 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 06, 2011, 08:16:42 pm
Set me to mining, train me to legendary in it and I'll go and own those goblins! (Don't send me out on a suicide mission please. :D)
When you're a Failcannon dwarf, EVERY mission's a suicide mission!
Post by: Darvi on September 07, 2011, 05:14:58 am
Post by: Mormota on September 07, 2011, 09:16:11 am
Post by: Darvi on September 07, 2011, 11:07:28 am
And really, it takes more than some mining for a single dwarf to take on two dozen goblins, three of which are elites. I'd build a danger room, but mechanics and I aren't exactly best buddies.
Post by: Darvi on September 07, 2011, 05:13:52 pm
Kinda like spring cleaning 'cept it's midsummer.
Also doing a bit of management with the rooms. Most notably, moved Dariush out of his hole into a proper bedroom and Urist seemed to have three bedrooms and an office that he shared with Catalyst.
Post by: Darvi on September 07, 2011, 10:23:39 pm
"536"
"- of the year 536. To start, I want to congratulate each and every one of us for the good work in cleaning the fortress, and especially Urist for finally fixing that sporing bridge, pardon my language."
"Was nothing", Urist replied, slightly embarassed.
"For that, she shall receive the honor of making the first proposal today."
I gotta say, it's inconventional, but this method is surprisingly effective in fulfilling everybody's demands, provided they are reasonable enough. That way everybody's happy with the minimal effort on everybody else's part.
No wonder those guys got exiled.
"Thank you. Now, there's urgent matters at hand. We all know that the goblins have been besieging us for a while..."
"Well duh", Dariush snarks. "Where's the problem there? They cannot reach us in here!"
"For now maybe, but eventually they will figure out that they can just walk around it if they go back a few zones, or maybe even build ladders!"
"Now you're being crazy. Ladders. Next you'll be telling me that dragons aren't real!"
"The point is that there's only that wall and a handful of stonefall traps between them and us. At the inevitable event that they come storming at us riding on skeletal rhinoceroses we'll be, bluntly, screwed. Which is why I propose that we get our military (not including our dear mayor) back up and running again."
"I'm telling you, the goblins are harmless. Like ugly garden gnomes. Fitting for the local scenery."
"I dunno, the color of human flesh doesn't mesh well with their green tone..."
"This seems like a good moment for me to speak up...". Mormota gets up from his throne.
"Yes, go on."
"Well, I was going to volunteer for digging out some new space for storage, but as the military commander, it is also my duty to oversee military training."
"And what does extra storage space have to do with goblins?"
I see. Dariush's the mandatory obstructive sceptic.
"Nothing actually, I just thought that all the digging would give me lots of muscles and thought that might be worth mentioning..."
"Good for you then. Any other volunteers?"
...Silence. Everybody's looking each other in the eyes. Except for Aussie, who has fallen asleep.
I am so going to regret what I'm about to do now.
"I have some experience and evading hostile creatures, as well as with the crossbow."
"Excellent! A few fortifications, and you can kill anything without it getting to you!"
"Unless it can fly. Or is small enough to get through the holes. Or can break the fortifications. Or is already on this side."
"Don't you worry!", Mormota tries to cheer me up. "The two of us, we'll handle everything! Sticks and stones may break your bones but they're still no match for my adamantine pick!"
"That's... reassuring... Speaking of bones, I have noticed a disturbing lack of a hospital. Our small number makes it even more imperative that we heal our wounded a.s.a.p."
"Aight, I'll dig that out too then. Dariush can carry the stuff in there."
"Wha-"
"Any objections?"
A murmur goes through the room. Nobody seems to be opposed to the idea of a hospital. Or to having Dariush work as a pack mule, for that matter.
"Now listen, why me? I have to do all the hard work, and Aussie has barely done anything since arriving here!"
"Good point". Mekboy nods. "She's stated to be an animal trainer, but there's not much around here to train is there?"
"Unless she was the one who taught the skeletal birds the delicate art of vandalism." Urist laughs at her own joke.
"Well, she can do the next thing then. She'll be butchering them and prepare meals out of their remains. Are we in agreement?"
*snore*
"I'll be taking that as a 'yes' then. What's next... oh, right. Despite our efforts in burrying our dead, we simply lack the receptacles to contain them all. That's why I'm going to make a dozen or two further coffins. We'll see how far we can get with those. Just... make sure you take some bones with you when you go downstairs, okay? Just every now and then, 's all I'm asking. Also, I want to hone my engraving skills for a bit. Give the new immigrants the feeling of being home when they enter their nice and smooth quarters."
"Just don't try to do any actual engravings, okay?" I cannot tell if Mormota was being serious or not.
"'scuse me?"
"Heh, yeah. Remember when she tried to engrave a piece of cheese? Everybody thought it was a plump helmet!"
"Wait, so you're telling me that's not a plump helmet?" That's quite the news to me. I thought that the engraving was odd. Plump helmets don't have spots on them.
"Err, anyway, if nobody has anything else productive to say, I'd like to end today's meeting. We've got a lot of work to do... and, er... I'm definitely not going to something horrible to Mormota's room." She leaves the room in a hurry, closely followed by Mormota.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 08, 2011, 02:02:53 am
Post by: Darvi on September 08, 2011, 05:28:52 am
That's because you keep hanging around on the surface with No Job.
Post by: Mormota on September 08, 2011, 11:51:06 am
Post by: Darvi on September 08, 2011, 12:24:47 pm
Post by: Mormota on September 08, 2011, 01:26:59 pm
Post by: Darvi on September 08, 2011, 01:41:13 pm
Post by: Darvi on September 08, 2011, 05:26:42 pm
"Hi Darv. How's it going?"
"Eh, you know. Is the training room ready?"
"Almost. Urist's about to attach the last mechanisms. Mormota's already waiting for you there."
"Aight. I see you're making some progress here. The hospital looks really nice now. And your engraving skills have increased a lot lately."
"Pfah. My engravings have always been of the highest quality. It's you culturally insensitive slobs that only begin to appreciate my art!"
"Whatever you say, sure..."
I leave through the western doorway and head towards the training room. The goblins have left over the last few months, so Mormota decided to do something else to test our combat prowess.
"Just in time. We can start now if you want to."
"Not quite." I lock the door behind me. "We don't want any skorses rampaging through the fort, do we."
"Good thinking. Now, what we have here are a pair of skeletal horsed and a ground hog. Any moment now Dariush will trigger the lever and they will get out and attack us."
"I think they already committed ten kinds of crimes against my nose." Pooh. Even with no flesh left they still stink like rot.
"That's why we're doing this, right? Kill them so we can safely dispose of them. And the risk is practically negligible!"
"If confidence could kill, you wouldn't even need your pick there. Heheh."
"Damn right. But it just feels right-"
"Wait, the cages are opening! Ready yourself!"
[...]
"Was that all?"
"Told you it would be easy."
"I could barely shoot at them, you killed them that quick." Even without extraordinary strength, Mormota cut through the undead like adamantine through bone. Which he actually literally did. "Just don't try picking your nose with that."
"Why would I want to pick- oh I get it. Nice one."
"Now let's open the door so we can tidy up this mess. And put more cages in here."
"Yea, next time should get more challenging. At least half a dozen or so of them critters."
"Speaking of your pick, we got to expand our necropolis. There's no place left and we need the space should we get any new migrants." I hand him a tablet, engraved with the plans for the new crypts. "Right below the old ones. I'd ask ya if you could do it on your own but I already know the answer."
"Damn right I can do it! You just wait and see, I'll have this dug out before Dariush and Aussie have hauled the other cages down here."
Spoiler: Here's what I added: (click to show/hide)
That little crooked corridor above is the danger room. I guess I should put a door there in case the cats ever get too curious.
Post by: Darvi on September 08, 2011, 07:59:54 pm
Or maybe it's my sleep deprivation again...
The entire fort's a nightmare, to think of it. Roads made of human flesh, walls of bones, alien geometries, and it's crawling with the undead.
That the inhabitants eat for lunch.
It's where Forgotten Beasts go to die, and even the goblins don't want to go in there. The only immigrants for the entire year had to spend three months in the mud sustaining themselves with nothing but rainwater.
And probably some jerky made out of the aforementioned roads.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 08, 2011, 08:42:55 pm
The entire fort's a nightmare, to think of it. Roads made of human flesh, walls of bones, alien geometries, and it's crawling with the undead.
That the inhabitants eat for lunch.
It's where Forgotten Beasts go to die, and even the goblins don't want to go in there. The only immigrants for the entire year had to spend three months in the mud sustaining themselves with nothing but rainwater.
And probably some jerky made out of the aforementioned roads.
You forgot that it's probably one of a few fortresses to nearly kill everyone over a single argument that spiraled into a full-blown succession war.
Post by: Darvi on September 08, 2011, 08:43:59 pm
Post by: EmeraldWind on September 08, 2011, 09:18:28 pm
Failcannon has survived near collapse several times over. I think it has been one of the most unsuccessful attempts at being unsuccessful even though it is nowhere near succeeding or succeeding to not succeed. It merely persists proving that not only does it survive, but that it barely survives the whole time.
It's sort of like watching your rich Uncle Charlie balancing on the edge of the cliff. You know your set up to get all the money you could ever want if he falls, but you love that guy and don't want to see him fall. Yet, still he continues to wobble alongside the cliff without giving any sign that he will fall or walk away.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 08, 2011, 09:37:23 pm
Post by: qqq122 on September 10, 2011, 12:14:10 am
Post by: Eric Blank on September 11, 2011, 08:50:01 pm
Post by: EmeraldWind on September 11, 2011, 09:44:46 pm
Good to see the fort itself isn't dead. Too bad the thread is.:'( Uncle Charlie! NOOOOOO!
Well you can't make an omelette without killing almost an entire fort can you?
Seriously though, it has only been four days since the overseer last posted. It is a bit quick to say the thread is dead as this thread has gone longer periods of silence.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 12, 2011, 05:26:26 am
Post by: Darvi on September 12, 2011, 01:02:44 pm
The only thing that happened in general was the death of 71% of the fort, and that wasn't really worth mentioning.
Post by: Mormota on September 12, 2011, 01:52:18 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 12, 2011, 08:44:57 pm
Post by: Darvi on September 12, 2011, 08:45:47 pm
Well, "today" technically. 's early morning.
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 13, 2011, 01:55:46 am
Sorry that I didn't update, but nothing interesting happened.
The only thing that happened in general was the death of 71% of the fort, and that wasn't really worth mentioning.
I'm estimating this means.... 5 of the 7?
Oooh I hope I died horribly!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 13, 2011, 02:13:50 am
Sorry that I didn't update, but nothing interesting happened.
The only thing that happened in general was the death of 71% of the fort, and that wasn't really worth mentioning.
I'm estimating this means.... 5 of the 7?
Oooh I hope I died horribly!
I'm betting Darvi accidentally let you out and you slaughtered four of the others. My money's on me and Dariush surviving as (last i heard) we were off hauling stuff, which would probably put us out of the way of shenanigans going on.
Post by: Darvi on September 13, 2011, 05:08:37 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 13, 2011, 05:38:44 am
Post by: Darvi on September 13, 2011, 05:46:44 am
Post by: Mormota on September 13, 2011, 11:42:45 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 13, 2011, 11:44:19 am
Well. I guess my dwarf has the best chances for survival, being the best in combat.
You should know better than to tempt fate like that. Odds are now that he died first in a humiliating manner.
Post by: Darvi on September 13, 2011, 11:46:58 am
I'm currently writing, so...
Post by: Darvi on September 13, 2011, 12:47:20 pm
Goblins all over the place.
Trolls demolishing the workshops.
The stockpiles burning with searing flames.
The undead escaping from their cages.
The dwarves running around in panic.
Aussie tries to escape through the eastern entrance.
She gets shot in the back by the goblin crossbow-men.
She is dead before her body touches the ground and the Trolls try to eat her.
Urist attempts to block the way out for the undead.
She gets trampled on by a stampede of skorses while carrying a lignite block.
Dariush flees into the deepest parts of the fortress, hoping that the invading forces wouldn't follow her.
She takes a wrong turn.
She writhes in agony as the flesh melts off her bones, covered in deadly dust.
Containment has been breached.
Catalyst has escaped. Mormota and Darvi, previously occupied with holding back the forces of evil, try to detain her.
The insane dwarf disarms the miner and brings the slaughter to every (un)living being around.
And Mekboy, overlooking the tragedy, weeps for her fallen friends as blood starts falling from the heavens...
"Mek, what are you doing there?"
"I'm engraving, can't you see that?"
"Yes but... ew, that's gross. I didn't know that engravings could be so gory." I frowned. She has made an engraving depicting a battle of horrifying scale and detail.
"I call it 'The Fall of Failcannon'. It's my depiction of how this place will eventually-"
"No."
"What?"
"Stop it. You're not a mad oracle. Neither are you an artist. No depicting apocalyptic scenarios in the hallways. It only hurts the morale."
"Shut up! You have no idea! You don't understand my brilliance and skills! You-"
"Before you go on any further, the caravan has arrived. Ye're needed at the Depot."
"Bah. Everybody thinks themselves a critic nowadays." She leaves for the Depot, sulking... did she just flip me the bird?
[...]
"Thanks for the business." The merchants have brought tons of food and drinks with them. We currently have no shortage of those, but it's better to be prepared than starving, so we traded for them with several bins full of crafts.
"We're still waiting for some stuff to get hauled up here. We might be interested in some other stuff." The traded goods have been loaded onto the mules, but the merchants still have a variety of weapons, armor and pretty much anything else lying on the depot.
"Maybe I can interest you in a barrel of dog's blood?"
"Blood? Hah, if there's anything that we wave in abundance then it's body parts and bodily fluids. Even more so once I kill that smartass."
"Sorry?"
"Nothing. Oh, here comes Aussie with the bins."
Aussie is walking towards the trading depot. She's carrying three bins, one on top of the other two which she's holding in her arms. They look like they could tip over any moment.
"Watch it!" Mek tries to support Aussie, but it's too late. She stumbles over a stone, and the bins crash into the trade depot. A chain reaction of toppled cages and rolling barrels ensues. The depot falls apart and everything gets scattered across the area.
"By Armok no! Do you have any idea what you have done?" The merchant looks like he cannot decide to be shocked, saddened, or enraged.
"Sorry. I'm very very sorry. I swear it was an accident!" Aussie excuses herself several more times to the merchant.
"Pardons are not enough! This will take days, nay, weeks to clean up and to find out what belongs to who!"
"Seems like quite the predicament." Mekboy remarks.
"That's an understatement!" The merchant hastily tries to, assisted by his co-workers, assemble anything that they know is theirs.
"Wait, wait. I've got an idea."
"I'm listening."
"You've got lots of stuff from us before right? So how about you take what you can get today, and after you leave for the mountain home we're going to clean up here. Then we send all your stuff back while you sell your new stuff. That way everybody has what they wanted, even if there's a bit of delay."
The merchant grumbled. "I don't like waiting, but if I return to late and without any new goods the Queen'll have my head. Probably for breakfast. Alright then."
[...]
"Did the plan work?" I was leaning against a wall, out of sight from the depot. Aussie walked around that moment.
"Think so. He said that he had to leave soon."
"Just as planned."
"Don't you worry that he might come back and demands his stuff back?"
"Don't worry. I know the Queen. Missing goods are as good a reason for her as arriving too late. If he's going to come back, then as a permanent resident."
"Another question then."
"And that would be?"
"Was it necessary for me to do that? I think I might've broken my arm..."
I checked her arm. It was bruised, but otherwise fine. "Don't you worry, it's still intact. Come, I'll invite you to a drink..."
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 13, 2011, 09:09:17 pm
Catalyst has escaped.I TOLD you this would happen
Mormota and Darvi, previously occupied with holding back the forces of evil, try to detain her.I told you THIS would happen as well! No-one ever listens... >.>
The insane dwarf disarms the miner and brings the slaughter to every (un)living being around.
Post by: Mormota on September 14, 2011, 12:22:01 am
Post by: Darvi on September 14, 2011, 04:51:25 am
Would you really think I'd do that? Oh who am I kidding of course I would.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 14, 2011, 04:56:58 am
Post by: Darvi on September 14, 2011, 05:01:05 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 14, 2011, 06:19:33 pm
Post by: EmeraldWind on September 14, 2011, 10:41:28 pm
I've re-read this a couple of times but I'm still confused. Which part(s) exactly were the lie, and which were truth?
Everything above the line.
And Mekboy, overlooking the tragedy, weeps for her fallen friends as blood starts falling from the heavens...
"Mek, what are you doing there?"
"I'm engraving, can't you see that?"
"Yes but... ew, that's gross. I didn't know that engravings could be so gory." I frowned. She has made an engraving depicting a battle of horrifying scale and detail.
"I call it 'The Fall of Failcannon'. It's my depiction of how this place will eventually-"
The story also implies that everything above the line was a description of Mekboy's engraving.
It should be noted, I am still not sure the rest actually happened in-game either. Mostly because I am not 100% sure what was going on. It sounded like either he seized goods from the caravan or the depot got destroyed. So I think this was just a update to the story, not an update to the progress of the fort.
Post by: Darvi on September 14, 2011, 11:30:25 pm
As in, both seized goods and destroyed depot (one by way of the other) andit both happened and was to update the story.
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 14, 2011, 11:36:18 pm
Three cheers for Darvi for still being alive, woo!
Post by: Darvi on September 15, 2011, 09:51:08 am
Compliments to Aussie then, you're not so useless after all. Hereby I change your title from "Vizzini Gambiter" into "Iron Chef"
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 15, 2011, 10:56:58 am
I'll have a winning scheme, just you wait...
Post by: Mekboy on September 15, 2011, 12:57:39 pm
Awesome.
Post by: Darvi on September 15, 2011, 12:58:50 pm
And now stop making predictions OF DOOM or I'll have to give you a bath.
Post by: Darvi on September 15, 2011, 01:08:23 pm
)\._.,--....,'``.
.b--. /; _.. \ _\ (`._ ,.
`=,-,-'~~~ `----(,_..'--(,_..'`-.;.' (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4940)
Isn't it adorable?
*Darvi cancels report: Distracted by kitteh*
And that's it for my turn.
Doesn't look like a lot happened, but I cleaned up the place nicely, built up a militia that can defeat most ambushes and got a fun surprise waiting for the next player.
Well, the surface is still full of junk, but you'd need at least three dozen people on hauling duty to clear up all that mess.
Here's an over view of the dwarves, from unskilled to most skilled.
ThatAussieDwarf - Cook. Not much else really, except for the clothesmaking because Catalyst wants some spider silk stuff. And she doesn't even do that.
Urist - Mechanic. Not that much in the was of skills either, but they came in handy for all those cages I had to link up for training.
Dariush - Butcher/leatherworker/whatever. I don't know what she's specialized in but whatever it is it ain't needed. Off for hauling duty.
Catalyst - Bonecrafter and... pacifier? No comment needed because she can't do anything else than training and make mandates.
Mekboy - Legendary engraver. Fuck yeah, from monkey with finger paint to Picasso. Also a decent mason and stonecrafter.
Me - Sniper and noob doctor. Never got to do any doctoring since the only wounds any body suffered were slight bruises on my right arm. I bet I wasn't this high if Archery and Crossbow weren't seperate skills.
Mormota - Legendary+5 miner and legendary fighter. Need I say more?
Post by: Darvi on September 15, 2011, 01:27:32 pm
Post by: Strategia on September 15, 2011, 04:53:16 pm
.....and got a fun surprise waiting for the next player.
I was going to make a witty comment about what it could be here, but honestly, in this place it could be SO many things I just couldn't decide. FB cages hooked to an unmarked lever, deadly dust coating everywhere, making the Ettin eligible for adoption as a pet (or training it as a War Ettin), hooking the FAILPUMP up to lava, equipping Catalyst with full adamantine gear, lost goblin raids wandering around the fortress, dwarf bone block trade depot.....
Post by: Darvi on September 15, 2011, 05:37:46 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 15, 2011, 06:33:32 pm
.....and got a fun surprise waiting for the next player.I was going to make a witty comment about what it could be here, but honestly, in this place it could be SO many things I just couldn't decide. FB cages hooked to an unmarked lever, deadly dust coating everywhere, making the Ettin eligible for adoption as a pet (or training it as a War Ettin), hooking the FAILPUMP up to lava, equipping Catalyst with full adamantine gear, lost goblin raids wandering around the fortress, dwarf bone block trade depot.....
Unless Darvi stripped her of them, unfortunately Catalyst is already in full adamantine gear.
And yeah, she's a pacifier. When I selected my dwarf I picked her for that reason, figuring that upset dwarves would try to complain to the mayor and it would be useful for calming them down. I misunderstood the whole "loyalty cascade" situation.
Post by: Darvi on September 15, 2011, 07:04:57 pm
Your call Urist.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 15, 2011, 08:44:58 pm
Unless Darvi stripped her of them, unfortunately Catalyst is already in full adamantine gear.
And yeah, she's a pacifier. When I selected my dwarf I picked her for that reason, figuring that upset dwarves would try to complain to the mayor and it would be useful for calming them down. I misunderstood the whole "loyalty cascade" situation.
"It's okay, stop fighting... Come join my rebellion and fight WITH me!"
I like to think they get mandates by putting an ear to Catalyst's door and writing down whatever she yells at the listener
Post by: Darvi on September 16, 2011, 06:41:14 am
Post by: Dariush on September 16, 2011, 07:02:51 am
I'll get to it today-tomorrow.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 16, 2011, 07:05:17 am
TIME TO KICK SOME ASSEZ.
I'll get to it today-tomorrow.
Why do i get the feeling that Dariush's pic is a prediction of the near future for at least one of the Failcannon Seven?....
Post by: Darvi on September 16, 2011, 07:07:30 am
Dibs on... well I'm not really good at any instruments really, so vocals I guess?
Post by: Dariush on September 16, 2011, 01:29:14 pm
Wow, you people weren't lying about seven dwarves remaining.
Post by: Dariush on September 16, 2011, 01:33:58 pm
Post by: Darvi on September 16, 2011, 01:42:02 pm
Also, found the surprise yet?
Post by: Dariush on September 16, 2011, 01:50:17 pm
Post by: Darvi on September 16, 2011, 02:11:06 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 16, 2011, 09:08:02 pm
Post by: Strategia on September 16, 2011, 11:06:44 pm
Build a MEGA Dwarven Water Reactor to power FailCannon's future endeavours.
It's a shame magma is so sluggish and hard to pump up. A Dwarven Magma Reactor would be very awesome, relatively tamper-proof, and an easy way of "rewarding" nobles for their "invaluable service to the good fortune and well-being of the fortress".
It'd also be harder to build, much harder to repair, and a huge risk to anyone in the fortress.
Let's do it.
Post by: SirAaronIII on September 17, 2011, 12:58:27 am
It'd also be harder to build, much harder to repair, and a huge risk to anyone in the fortress.The true dwarven way!
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 05:57:07 am
SUCK IT, BITCHEZ.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 17, 2011, 06:07:01 am
Okay, my paranoia just overtook my sense of epicness and simple common sense. First thing I'll do when I actually get to the game (in several hours) is to build a small offshoot off Failcannon, wall the rest off and live like simple non-insane dwarves.
SUCK IT, BITCHEZ.
He's a madman! What manner of depraved lunatic would undertake a scheme like this?!
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 06:50:02 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 17, 2011, 07:11:24 am
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 07:33:31 am
Meanwhile, I noticed the nice'n'cold'n'pure (well, if you ignore the occasional corpses and shit) sea just to the south. I'll attempt to drill through it to make an independent sealable entrance (like I tried to (and failed) here (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4353)). So yeah.
***
To get shit kick-started, I ordered the bridge to be built, disabled all non-essential jobs (i.e. eating and sleeping) and enable all essential job (singular) (i.e. building). The destiny will never bite me in the ass again!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 17, 2011, 07:43:41 am
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 07:51:31 am
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 07:53:08 am
Or, if you want to have less power and more dwarviness, magma-powered.
Also I'd like to mention that our miner is the most powerful killing machine around and would be a a great waste of
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 07:54:13 am
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 07:54:57 am
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 08:32:14 am
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 08:59:00 am
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 09:09:46 am
Also, someone ought to die for this.
(http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/1518/162c2ce9d6544a2497ca556.png)
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 09:13:49 am
Also, I had a bunch of training spears made. Feel free to rebuild all the stuff in the danger room.
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 09:39:46 am
Also, I don't care what happens underground. All my attention (and that of dwarves) is focused on my Project Fuck The Lake.
***
Oh hey, we have an FB rampaging through magma forges. Whatever, good luck to it.
***
And as a cherry on top of the cake, it broke down the doors holding back the Sea of Slime from our forges, which are now being flooded. Seriously, what the fuck. ALL THAT PREVENTS AN INFECTUOS GODKNOWSWHATTHEFUCKDOESITCONSISTOF SEA FROM FLOODING OUR SMITHS IS A PAIR OF GLASS DOORS?! Wait, that's actually a pretty nifty idea.
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 09:58:48 am
But the underground was sealed off for what I know, so who cares.
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 10:04:31 am
But the underground was sealed off for what I know, so who cares.(http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/4991/9d9086391e394083b65b54f.png)
I'm sorry, did you say something?
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 10:11:13 am
Post by: LordSlowpoke on September 17, 2011, 10:25:00 am
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 10:31:17 am
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WE DON'T HAVE A DEPOT?! ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING?! Nah, whatever. Continue with the Project, slavefucks.
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 10:36:10 am
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 10:37:03 am
Post by: LordSlowpoke on September 17, 2011, 10:38:06 am
Eh, why not. Give me a few pics of the setup because I honestly can't be bothered downloading the save using public wifi which is chugging along at about 100kb/s. No idea what you mean by easternmost drawbridge and central cistern right now.
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 10:43:00 am
You mean you need them?Gah. Yes. Your murderous sadism muddled my consience for a moment.
...
Eh, why not. Give me a few pics of the setup because I honestly can't be bothered downloading the save using public wifi which is chugging along at about 100kb/s. No idea what you mean by easternmost drawbridge and central cistern right now.
(http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/1940/c948fe7503bd4239b73ddf8.png)
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 10:50:43 am
Yeah, it's the orthoclase lever on Level -1
There's a second orthoclase lever on Level -2 which opens the western floodgates.
Also, mystery lever right beside it. Pull it.
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 10:55:11 am
Soooo coloooorfuuuul.
Still, not much use for a goblin-shower if goblins can't be moved into it. :(
BTW, why are sieges entering exclusively on the southern side of the eastern drawbridge? There's like an undefended road and things to it's north.
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 10:56:03 am
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 12:13:47 pm
***
And the forges are occupied by FBs. Fucking awesome.
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 12:18:16 pm
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 12:19:55 pm
Send in us guys? If you savescum hard enough we can make it out of there without any severe injuries xDGo to hell (not literally).
Btw, why aren't there any migrants? :(
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 12:22:07 pm
Civilization has probably committed suicide when it saw the terrors of Failcannon.
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 12:47:26 pm
Here's the save. (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4950)
Things of note:
1) To the south of our main fortress I set up a lake-drilling project. To finish, please finish the pumps around the the empty water, then add another layer one z-level lower when the water drains, then cover the down stairs with hatches when you get to the seabed. Connect a lever from inside the Lesser Failcannon to any gear assembly that powers the whole contraption to seal the entrance.
2) The whole magma forge level is OVERRUN with FBs.
3) There's a siege going on.
4) Did I mention that there's seven dwarves remaining, out of whom one is a walking vegetable?
Post by: arcangelsd on September 17, 2011, 12:57:51 pm
Waiting for the save, bro!
4.5 months?
That means that I play until the second spring, I'm I right?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 17, 2011, 01:03:14 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 17, 2011, 01:06:24 pm
Stay tuned, please!
Aw, c'mon, 30 mins for downloading the save? Failcannon broke my internet TT_TT
I'll wait, then.
Post by: Strategia on September 17, 2011, 01:49:37 pm
.....and one of them ignores EVERYTHING and just keeps training.
Would that be Catalyst, by any chance? The last survivor of the rebellion, locked in her room with nothing else to do?
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 01:55:11 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 17, 2011, 02:07:39 pm
Post by: Dariush on September 17, 2011, 02:12:51 pm
Fun fact: it seems that half of the jobs that are listed requires going to the now flooded with water and forgotten beasts magma forge zone.We have more magma forges somewhere above. Look immediatly under the Sea of Slime. I put some orders for corkscrews there (though (obviously) they've been ignored).
Just for asking: we have normal forges?
Post by: arcangelsd on September 17, 2011, 02:16:08 pm
Sure thay are being ignored? Everyone is building the pumps and/or making the screwsFun fact: it seems that half of the jobs that are listed requires going to the now flooded with water and forgotten beasts magma forge zone.We have more magma forges somewhere above. Look immediatly under the Sea of Slime. I put some orders for corkscrews there (though (obviously) they've been ignored).
Just for asking: we have normal forges?
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 02:31:34 pm
*Darvi interrupted Making Bad Joke: interrupted by audience*
Post by: arcangelsd on September 17, 2011, 03:16:22 pm
There seems to be one mica gear assembly that is cursed, because no one wants to build it. They just drop the mechanism a few squares away from the gear.. weird
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 03:42:36 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 17, 2011, 04:19:19 pm
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 04:21:40 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 17, 2011, 04:23:02 pm
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 04:27:55 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 17, 2011, 06:26:11 pm
I salvaged the new forges, by walling the paths. And Darvi nearly got forgotten and killed when he got in the wrong side of the FB/wall iteration.
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 06:27:06 pm
I'm not a lucky SOB for nothing.
Post by: arcangelsd on September 17, 2011, 06:58:38 pm
You are actually SLEEPING 1z-level and +-20 squares from the forgotten beast that got though an unexpected path.
I'll leave your fate... to tomorrow.
You are entombed with the beast, for more FUN exponential.
Also, we lost everything from level 78 downwards. That includes a fifth of our food and drinks, the magma forges, darvi's room, and our food proccessing area.
The rest is in good shape, thought.
Post by: Darvi on September 17, 2011, 07:07:47 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 17, 2011, 09:26:11 pm
Don't worry. He ain't a Vizzini Gambiter for nuthin'
Then how did i survive most of my initial dwarfing WELL away from all the !!Fun!! going on? 8)
You just watch. First I'll become popular, then become the mayor, then i'll be having people beaten to death for ignoring my production orders. Genius!
Post by: arcangelsd on September 18, 2011, 07:52:39 am
So, correction, we lost everything to Darvi's room.
The works in the lake-drilling are currently paralyzed, because I'm more focused in building the power infrastructure (windmills) and gathering wood from where is available. I'll try to reclaim the forges thought, the beast seems content with milling around in our food stockpiles.
Post by: Darvi on September 18, 2011, 07:53:48 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 18, 2011, 08:00:03 am
It's an old guest of us, a green glass quadruped or something alike. I first noticed it in the main stairs. It just teleported there, I spent an entire hour searching for a possible entrance, but I found nothing. I walled up the stairs, and called it a draw.
Post by: Darvi on September 18, 2011, 08:03:54 am
Post by: Dariush on September 18, 2011, 08:26:48 am
I'm more focused in building the power infrastructure (windmills)Are you talking about the group of windmills that is connected to the Project? If so, please destroy the orthoclase gear assembly that is marked by a notification to disconnect the lower pumps and free up power.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 18, 2011, 09:33:16 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 18, 2011, 09:43:43 am
Actually, dariush, the source of the water that flooded the old magma forges is the ocean of slime xD
I'm more focused in building the power infrastructure (windmills)Are you talking about the group of windmills that is connected to the Project? If so, please destroy the orthoclase gear assembly that is marked by a notification to disconnect the lower pumps and free up power.
Mhhh... that gear assembly, as far as I can tell, power the failpump and the beach washer. I'm not taking it out.
Also, the pumps that you were building over the sea, the topmost ones... are deconstructing themselves?
I suspect treason!!
(http://i1096.photobucket.com/albums/g336/arcangelsd/Failcannon-1.png)
Migrants! Two brave souls, that, disregarding the danger, the odour, and the bizarrearchitecture, just approached the fortress. A crafter, who insisted in being called "arcangelsd", to the suspicions of his ranger companion, who assured that he responded to the name of Fikod just before crossing the bridge to the fortress.
The ranger itself hasn't told its name yet...
Post by: Dariush on September 18, 2011, 11:59:37 am
Could you please suspend all the pumps except the ones adjacent to the gear assemblies/constructed pumps and gradually unsuspend them as the construction progresses? Preeeetty please? :)
Post by: arcangelsd on September 18, 2011, 12:07:30 pm
MIGRANTS!
Post by: Darvi on September 18, 2011, 12:11:34 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 18, 2011, 12:19:05 pm
The ranger itself hasn't told its name yet...
Also, Aussie is one step closer into becoming the mayor of this. Catalyist is currently being pincushioned by a bunch of suspiciously good positioned kobold archers. That are using STEEL arrows. Good move Aussie. Good move.
Post by: Darvi on September 18, 2011, 12:21:00 pm
But it doesn't matter, since I have 8 levels in leadership. I shall lead us to... victory? Prosperity? Glory?
Nah, this is Failcannon, only doom awaits people here. Sorry, I meant DOOM.
Post by: Gizogin on September 18, 2011, 01:20:02 pm
EDIT: Wait, male or female? It doesn't matter to me, but you didn't say, and I would like to know.
Post by: arcangelsd on September 18, 2011, 01:28:44 pm
An unclaimed dwarf? May I humbly request it for myself? Gizogin, with the profession of Battlemage.
EDIT: Wait, male or female? It doesn't matter to me, but you didn't say, and I would like to know.
Male. He has a good share of experience with crossbows, so battlemage is.. fitting.
FAILCANNON PRESS
We got some news: Catalyst survived its assasination attempts, an is currently resting on her bedroom.
On other news, the silent ranger just told us his name: Gizogin, and claims to be a battlemage. Whatever.
Another two Foul Beast of the Horryfing Within have appeared in the main stairs: A snail and a crab. They are currently dancing in a room near the ocean of Slime.
Fun facts of today: it seems that the pumps only wil hold together if we put it against any other constructed machinery, as our Merciless Avenger, Dariush IV, was theorizing.
Post by: Darvi on September 18, 2011, 01:49:52 pm
He has a good share of experience with crossbowsUSELESS
Post by: arcangelsd on September 18, 2011, 01:55:16 pm
Post by: Gizogin on September 18, 2011, 03:06:58 pm
He has a good share of experience with crossbowsUSELESS
Hey, I have feelings too. At least I'm being put to some use.
Post by: Eric Blank on September 18, 2011, 03:10:27 pm
My fortress was invaded by a magma crab from the magma sea through the bottom of the forge access stairwell. Luckily only cancelled a few jobs and ran back into the sea through the same point.
The sort of path I'm talking about looks like this from the side; # = wall, _ = dug-out space
##__
__##
Where the lower area could be filled with magma or water. Dwarves could not path out without swimming skill.
Post by: arcangelsd on September 18, 2011, 04:03:46 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The Slimecean is directly dropping onto the fortress, from more than 10 z-levels above. I'm unable to stop it, and for when we have the mediums, it wil be impossible to pump/erradicate al the water and forgotten beasts. The point is: This flood is killing my FPS, I'm at 20. I looked at the insane pumping infrastructure, and nothing connects with the source of this flood. It's simply a diagonal hole at the bottom of the slime ocean. I think that one similar is causing all the beasts to appear in the stairs, but i'm unable to close it. In fact, it seems that we have more than the half of the beasts that are alive partying hard in the lost sections of the fortress.
Second point: As I said, the game is going SLOW. I haven't even reached my first spring yet, and this week is my first week of actually doing something at the university. I'll update anyways, even if I am only able to run DF a hour a day until the weekend. I expect to hit my second summer before friday. Is everyone okay with this?
P.D.: Sorry for my weird writing... I'm in a rush o.O
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 18, 2011, 10:01:47 pm
If you want a water reactor to power your little schemes, dig out a space shaped like
FFFFFFFFFFFFFF
WFFFFFFFFFFFW
WFFFFFFFFFFFW
FFFFFFFFFFFFFF
F = Floor
W = Wall
level with the highest water level of a lake and channel to it (Floor it over though, or you WILL get trees). With a floodgate as a wall into the reactor, for preference to control pressure. On the level above
...........................
xwwwwwwwwwwx
XwwwwwwwwwwX
.wwwwwwwwww.
Where
Xx = screw pump pumping towards the north
. = empty space.
www = water wheel
Oh and put a wall around the upper level, of course. (best way to actually draw power is to stick a gearbox above one of the screwpumps).
Post by: Darvi on September 19, 2011, 05:15:10 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 19, 2011, 07:45:33 am
You have 20 FPS despite the flooding? Lucky bastard, I only got 12.I guess that I have one of the highest FPS counts, then.
Ergo, noone will want to put into motion the FPS killing machine to suck the sea that I designed u_u (Designed, not built)
Post by: Dariush on September 19, 2011, 07:47:38 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 19, 2011, 08:02:36 am
It's made of madness, that's why DF runs so smoothly.
Okay, I have pinpointed the source of the flood to one fortification (¿?) and one stair (¿?¿?) to the slime sea.
Given that the main yard has been claimed by zombie buzzards given the impossibility of deploying marksdwarves, I'll start working on the innards of the fortress. Looking at the maps of the old forges, I have located several rooms that should be untouched by the flood. Those rooms include several common bedrooms, from which I'll salvage some beds and statues, and the prize: a unflooded weapon stockpile ripe with bins of weapons AND pump components.
About the buzzards, never mind: Mormota II got pissed and ripped 'em apart.
And people, what about a sea- based dwarven water reactor?
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 19, 2011, 08:06:32 am
Post by: Darvi on September 19, 2011, 08:36:35 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 19, 2011, 09:05:09 am
Zombie bussards aren's a threat really. I've been outside for an entire season without them attacking me.Not, but they spook the workers, and because the game doesn't give any alerts like "Urist Mclazy cancels X: interrupted by Y", I had a hard time guessing why they just won't finish any work outside xD
Post by: SethCreiyd on September 19, 2011, 09:09:13 am
Not, but they spook the workers, and because the game doesn't give any alerts like "Urist Mclazy cancels X: interrupted by Y", I had a hard time guessing why they just won't finish any work outside xD
Jon cancellations are still turned off. Turning them back on may reveal why those mechanics never finished their work.
Post by: Dariush on September 19, 2011, 09:26:27 am
Jon cancellations are still turned off....great. Who did this? Let me shake his throat for his good work.
Post by: arcangelsd on September 19, 2011, 09:30:49 am
I would like to join in, for great pleasure, too. X3Jon cancellations are still turned off....great. Who did this? Let me shake his throat for his good work.
Post by: SethCreiyd on September 19, 2011, 09:49:53 am
job cancellations are turned off and all death items are forbidden by default except for dwarven corpses.
It's not my fault that warnings go unheeded! :P Besides, it was that or having the announcements page completely filled with 'Tupu cancels pickup equipment: too injured. x439'
Or kill Tupu, I guess, but I couldn't do that.
Post by: Dariush on September 19, 2011, 10:00:28 am
Post by: Darvi on September 19, 2011, 10:11:14 am
Post by: LordSlowpoke on September 19, 2011, 10:43:22 am
No fucking idea. My best guess would be that somebody modded elves so that they would die when entering the screen.
Fun part being that in Failcannon this dosen't even need a mod.
Post by: Dariush on September 19, 2011, 11:00:22 am
Post by: Darvi on September 19, 2011, 11:04:37 am
Unless Saxon has destroyed the world by then.
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 19, 2011, 02:07:17 pm
20 FPS? Holy fuck, you have a computer from the future. I only got 14-15... :(pfft. Check my FPS when I was running the pumps and flooding the landscape. I call my computer "The Secret Project."
(Because it is liable to malfunction horribly and kill us all.)
Also: YAY I survived assassination. Still have a shot at being the doom of failcannon then. Where were the Kobolds that they were able to shoot me, anyway? Also... what version did this start in, that Kobolds survived world-gen?
Spoiler: EDIT: the screen in question: (click to show/hide)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 19, 2011, 02:13:34 pm
Also... what version did this start in, that Kobolds survived world-gen?
It looks like the world was genned all the way back in 31.03. Holy fuck.
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 19, 2011, 02:24:15 pm
Btw, how did you get the northern map edge so neatly lined with elvenshit?
Oh this - the water does it. The (I think two?) times the flood system has been deployed, it pushes everything to the extreme edges of the map.
If we ever want to actually kill anything with it, we should dig some channels or pits, and, most importantly, build the reservoir up a few more Z-levels.
Post by: Ieb on September 19, 2011, 03:02:45 pm
Because I want in on this clusterfuck.
As a player, just to clarify.
Post by: arcangelsd on September 19, 2011, 03:20:43 pm
Also: YAY I survived assassination. Still have a shot at being the doom of failcannon then. Where were the Kobolds that they were able to shoot me, anyway?
This:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
If it's hard to read, purple figure is where Catalyst enjoys having some strolls, the green square is the zone(3 z-levels below) where the kobolds appeared, and the red square is the evidence of the plot: steel arrows!
Also, seems that Catalyst will be the mayor of Failcannon until its death, because it doesn't have any friends because it's an enemy of the civilization whose mayor it's himself, who doesn't have any friends, so he couldn't be the mayor of the civilization he's at war with because he does't have friends to support him because he is an enemy to their civilization...So, in consequence, he can't be deposed as a mayor, neither put into a military squad of the civilization he isn't part of.
It all makes sense now.
Also i think he's the one who spooks the workers that are working in the windmills and in the physical representation of my ego that i'm building over the lakedrilling project.
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 19, 2011, 05:03:03 pm
Post by: Darvi on September 19, 2011, 05:10:35 pm
And then I shall reign as the supreme dwarf.
I stand for booze for everybody as well as food whenever you want it! Vote me!
Post by: arcangelsd on September 19, 2011, 05:27:55 pm
Why? Because he somehow found a path to the quarantined part (¿?) of the fortress, ultimately getting to Lordslowpoke's old quarters. Where, if I didn't say before, there were 2 FBs happily enjoying the commodities of such quarters.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
In other order of things, I reclaimed the forges. YAY
And my first spring came, without finishing anything of my schedule. F**K
Post by: Gizogin on September 19, 2011, 07:08:12 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 19, 2011, 09:42:30 pm
Awesome. Clearly, I heard the phrases "quarantined chamber," "stay away," and "no, really, there are like two forgotten beasts in there and they'll totally kill you," and decided that going in there and pissing off said FBs was the only logical course of action.
They weren't so much warnings as dares to go see what was in there
Post by: Johuotar on September 20, 2011, 02:03:07 am
Woah, I think I didn't even know of DF's existance before 31.06 something. The world of Battlefailed has been around longer than I.Also... what version did this start in, that Kobolds survived world-gen?It looks like the world was genned all the way back in 31.03. Holy fuck.
I noticed my turn is slowly but surely closing, I hope I get my chance to contribute. I'd like to clean the place a bit.
Post by: arcangelsd on September 20, 2011, 02:51:20 am
I noticed my turn is slowly but surely closing, I hope I get my chance to contribute. I'd like to clean the place a bit.Hace luck with that. I have currently deactivated all hauling labors for everyone just because there is so much trash, bodies, and actually valuable objects lying around, that with the current dwarfpower it would take several years to clean up the living (as not sealed up) chambers.
And I want to test my monstruous generator design. And finish my personal project. And dariush' ocean driller, too.
In fact, gizogin's incident happened because of a freaky windows-installing accident.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 20, 2011, 04:18:33 am
Post by: Dariush on September 20, 2011, 09:35:43 am
I have currently deactivated all hauling labors for everyoneUh. Actually I did just that. Did you reactivate and then deactivate them again? :)
Post by: arcangelsd on September 20, 2011, 11:13:04 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 20, 2011, 03:05:11 pm
And aussie, I don't want to forbid everything because I am not producing anything (save corkscrews) and i'm using the trash that is stirred all around the place to build all my projects, so forbidding it would be a no-no. And looking for the things that i'm actually using would be too much of a hassle (seriously, the fortress main keep is a nightmare) BTW did you knew we had a nice quantum pile of nearly infinite goblin bone blocks sitting next to the (now reconstructed) trade depot? It's the main source of materials for my constructions. And for the materials i don't have, I'm salvaging them from Failcannon unused structures and halls. Recycling is a good thing, people!
oh cool.
I just made a dwarven water reactor that works without water. It's magic.
Did you guys knew that if you submerge a water wheel in a wave it goes on and generates full power? I did not.
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 20, 2011, 03:17:16 pm
oh cool.Huh? I swear I tried exactly that in a recent fort and it did NOT work. Nice.
I just made a dwarven water reactor that works without water. It's magic.
Did you guys knew that if you submerge a water wheel in a wave it goes on and generates full power? I did not.
Post by: arcangelsd on September 20, 2011, 03:31:30 pm
Now power is not an issue. I got to +500 urists in less than a month, situated at 15 tiles of the ocean driller. This speeds up my agenda considerably.
migrants again YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Post by: Darvi on September 20, 2011, 04:26:52 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 20, 2011, 04:49:27 pm
Project: Screw The Foul Ocean (S.T.F.O.), whose schematics were created by our dear citizen Dariush, it's nearing operational state!
Also: how do I open the outer orthoclase bridges?
I am unable to find the correct lever so I'll do the most sensible thing: pull levers at random until the gates open or there is no more dwarfs remaining (save the ones outside)
YAY GOT THE RIGHT LEVER
We do have two new nameless faces: a high master mason, and a talented medic
Oh, and two kobold ambush squads too. Anyone calling dibs on the 'bolds?
Well, we are losing. To Kobolds with steel weapons... again. Aussie is nowhere to be seen, darvi ran away, Mormota is busy elsewhere and Gizogin's luck is no more. Mekboy, you have an axe. You are our last hope! Nope, you're dead. Darvi, you got cornered at the windmills and just received a serious injury.
Gizogin, I take out my statement. You fought off two 'bolds, and you are pincushioning another one. YOU ARE THE BOSS
And Darvi, a correction: you weren't running away, you were ambushing.. you are turning that swordsbold into paste!
Dariush! I choose you! Help us that they are withdrawing now! Wow. You are wrestling that guy to death, aren't you?
Mormota! Glad to see you! Strike them with you pic.. kung fu skills? Where is your pick? Nice fisticuffs anyway.
Dariush? Did you just bit that kobold's head off?
Darvi? Wow, Darvi, wow
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The danger has passed. Dariush is strangling one of the stragglers, and Darvi is finishing the other. Old Failcannon sure knows how to hold it's own in a gentleman's fight.
I'll make a more elaborate report tomorrow.
Post by: Darvi on September 20, 2011, 06:04:30 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 20, 2011, 06:31:46 pm
Quote from: arcangelsd
Dariush is strangling one of the stragglers, and Darvi is finishing the other. Old Failcannon sure knows how to hold it's own in a gentleman's fight.Sigged.
Post by: Strategia on September 20, 2011, 07:00:14 pm
Post by: Gizogin on September 20, 2011, 08:01:44 pm
Gizogin, I take out my statement. You fought off two 'bolds, and you are pincushioning another one. YOU ARE THE BOSS
Thank you, thank you. It was my pleasure.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 20, 2011, 09:39:05 pm
Aussie is nowhere to be seen
'course not! I'm a diabolical schemer, not a fighter!
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 20, 2011, 10:57:30 pm
I blame Dariush and Darvi for coming between me and my just and righteous retribution. They will ppppayyyyyy.....
Post by: Eric Blank on September 20, 2011, 11:38:40 pm
It's going to be an 'Erica' again, isn't it? Regardless, have them produce masterful furniture for everyone's rooms.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 20, 2011, 11:42:49 pm
I have been denied my vengeance upon the foul Kobolds! Nooooooooo!!!
I blame Dariush and Darvi for coming between me and my just and righteous retribution. They will ppppayyyyyy.....
You'll stay in your little hole of insurrection and LIKE it. You're not getting out till someone accidentally unlocks your door, or the fort's sieged to crap and you make it far worse by escaping when something destroys a constructed wall and sets you free!
Post by: Dariush on September 21, 2011, 07:15:58 am
Post by: Johuotar on September 21, 2011, 07:24:04 am
I have already downloaded the save to make recearch for things to do and this to undo.
Too bad the world doesn't work anymore, if the fort dies we can't make another one in the same world, but I'd still play in any spiritual successor if we'll have such. ohcarplatefrombus!!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 21, 2011, 07:34:40 am
Post by: Dariush on September 21, 2011, 08:22:55 am
Post by: Johuotar on September 21, 2011, 09:02:55 am
Couldn't you gen a fort with whatever version was used to gen the world and then reload the starting save in the latest version?
Oh right I forgot about that, still its not ideal option as earlier save must be used...
Post by: Eric Blank on September 21, 2011, 09:47:05 am
I doubt it would even result in a similar world after so many updates, though. Perhaps I'd test it later today.
Good to see updates, though.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 21, 2011, 10:00:46 am
Post by: Dariush on September 21, 2011, 10:06:53 am
Post by: Darvi on September 21, 2011, 10:10:00 am
We could regen the world and mask it as a complete reset of the entire multiverse.Or some sort of After the End scenario.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 21, 2011, 10:15:13 am
IMO we should wait until 0.31.26 for that.
As if this fort will die before the next version comes out.
Post by: Dariush on September 21, 2011, 10:32:16 am
Ya fate-tempter.IMO we should wait until 0.31.26 for that.
As if this fort will die before the next version comes out.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 21, 2011, 10:38:19 am
Hey, it works for Elder Gods...
Post by: Darvi on September 21, 2011, 10:40:26 am
Hastur.
Ha...ha..haachooo!
GOGDAMMIT!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 21, 2011, 10:42:08 am
That said, what's the current pop with the migrants? 9? Over 10?
Post by: Darvi on September 21, 2011, 10:43:19 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 21, 2011, 10:54:12 am
I'd say over 10 unless somebody died.
Cue Axelord-Rampage-On-Fire.
Post by: Darvi on September 21, 2011, 10:56:52 am
...it's exactly what's going to happen isn't it?
Post by: Dariush on September 21, 2011, 11:16:48 am
Post by: Mormota on September 21, 2011, 11:24:53 am
Unless we're talking about Mormota here I don't think that'd be a problem.
...it's exactly what's going to happen isn't it?
I'd love to see my dwarf going berserk and massacring everyone. Really. It would be hilarious.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 21, 2011, 11:28:35 am
Post by: Johuotar on September 21, 2011, 11:39:58 am
He's buried right? And not just rotting on the beach?
Post by: Darvi on September 21, 2011, 11:42:20 am
Post by: Dariush on September 21, 2011, 11:50:19 am
So unless you're sleeping with the fish then most likely somebody's already hauled your dead body to its resting place.That is, unless you died after everyone's corpse hauling was disabled. Sorry, useless megaprojects are more important than the proper burial of some useless dorfs!
Post by: Darvi on September 21, 2011, 11:58:58 am
That or they move into the megaproject and the fort can make extra cash for charging people visiting it's haunted... somehting.
Post by: Dariush on September 21, 2011, 12:02:27 pm
That or they move into the megaproject and the fort can make extra cash for charging people visiting it's haunted... somehting.It's kinda pointless to create a paid attraction in a fort you have to offer unimaginable riches to people to arrive to, don't you think?
Post by: Mormota on September 21, 2011, 01:58:43 pm
That or they move into the megaproject and the fort can make extra cash for charging people visiting it's haunted... somehting.It's kinda pointless to create a paid attraction in a fort you have to offer unimaginable riches to people to arrive to, don't you think?
Dwarven tourism. Just because 90% of your group will die is not a reason to not go on a wonderful vacation.
Post by: arcangelsd on September 21, 2011, 04:52:36 pm
No, wait, i got this; "Failcannon's doing just fine in the hands of arcangelsd. What's the worst that could possibly happen?"
That said, what's the current pop with the migrants? 9? Over 10?
A lot of things. I'm afraid of activating the STFO bacuse we have at least a FB waiting for it in the ocean, for getting an example.
A fun fact about FB: the pathing seems to be so horribly broken, that the beasts are rendered harmless by their indecision when it comes to certain point in the fortress. To show: a path was left undiscovered and unchecked for about a year. At least 3 FB had access to it. One is patrolling the food stockpiles near the forges, and two more are LOCKED FOREVER in Lordslowpoke's quarters (yes, the ones that gizogin disturbed) And by locked I mean that one of them hasn't moved an inch in an entire year.
And the pop... We were 9, 2 more came, but as mekboy kicked the bucket, we're exactly ten poor souls.
How is the Project That Goes By Many Different Names going?
Fine, just needs 8 pumps more, and it'll be done. Also: STFO, please, just call it STFO xD
Unless we're talking about Mormota here I don't think that'd be a problem.
...it's exactly what's going to happen isn't it?
I'm more afraid of Dariush. He seems to have INSANE wrestling skills (Or at least some insane stats). And he bites. HARD.
And Darvi too. He has developed some kind of Crossbow-fu, as seen when he fatalitie'd a kobold with that copper crossbow (Yes, the excerpt of combat report that I uploaded was a finisher move, that makes the crossbow-lodging al more badass).
And our resident BOSS, Gizogin. Seriously, that guy got some mad luck, there at Failcannon.
The only ones that seem harmless now are Aussie, because he always disappear when a fight breaks up, the poor unnamed inmigrant medic, Erica, and myself.
Mormota and Catalyst FUN potential is left uncontested, of course.
ALSO: YAY SIGGED
Post by: Darvi on September 21, 2011, 04:54:34 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 21, 2011, 05:13:34 pm
Why the spores do I have a copper crossbow?Truly I don't know. You seem to have it even before I put you in a archer squad. But, for reasons that I can't even wonder to know, you just don't want to fire a shot from it, preferring instead to forcefully bash your way into enemies, in the true dwarven style. I'm thinking in giving you a hammer... but you get to keep the crossbow xD
Post by: Darvi on September 21, 2011, 05:27:24 pm
At least I am still SUPER EFFECTIVE.
Post by: Teneb on September 21, 2011, 05:30:44 pm
The only ones that seem harmless now are Aussie, because he always disappear when a fight breaks up, the poor unnamed inmigrant medic, Erica, and myself.
can I claim that one?
Post by: Darvi on September 21, 2011, 05:33:47 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on September 22, 2011, 12:57:54 am
Not a complaint, more of a noisy observation...
Post by: Johuotar on September 22, 2011, 01:27:01 am
A fun fact about FB: the pathing seems to be so horribly broken, that the beasts are rendered harmless by their indecision when it comes to certain point in the fortress. To show: a path was left undiscovered and unchecked for about a year. At least 3 FB had access to it. One is patrolling the food stockpiles near the forges, and two more are LOCKED FOREVER in Lordslowpoke's quarters (yes, the ones that gizogin disturbed) And by locked I mean that one of them hasn't moved an inch in an entire year.
The non-euclidean architecture of Battlefailed is driving the FB:s crazy. :P
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 22, 2011, 03:38:54 am
Post by: kisame12794 on September 22, 2011, 07:53:58 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 22, 2011, 08:03:28 am
So I was right, and Erica has possessed 3 other women and is some sort of sexist masculine-phobic lesbo-ghost... Or something like that... You'd think that at least once out of four opportunities my dwarf would have ended up male...
Not a complaint, more of a noisy observation...
Yes, the mason is a woman xD
What about Mekboy and Urist, though?
Mekboy's dead, man, dead! I think you commented on it earlier... whatever.
Urist is tame, harmless too.
can I claim that one?
Yup you can! Deathsword.. what number?
Enjoy a life in comfort in the hospital, deathsword, your spine is all broken and mangled xD
Erica, you are the new CMD. It seems that everyone else is too busy resting and diying of thirst ¬¬
No, wait, i got this; "Failcannon's doing just fine in the hands of arcangelsd. What's the worst that could possibly happen?"
You just had to say it didn't you.
Post by: Gizogin on September 22, 2011, 03:12:55 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 22, 2011, 05:04:49 pm
Wait, everyone is dying? Am I included in this? What happened to everyone that they are hospitalized?
Yup, you are included, remember, you took a solid blow to the head with a steel spear. Actually it would make sense for you to not remember it. It also help that I didn't say it before!
Deathsword capacity to move is destroyed.
Dariush's arm is broken, he was looking for the missing spearbold but it found him first.
Darvi got some damage to both of his legs.
And I think it's all for now. Everyone but Dariush and Deathsword are stabilized and productive now, so.. it's al fine here in Failcannon. Could it get enven worse? I don't believe so.
Post by: Darvi on September 22, 2011, 05:31:06 pm
Also, cave-in those FB's while they won't move.
Post by: Teneb on September 22, 2011, 05:35:36 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 22, 2011, 05:39:54 pm
It'd be Deathsword II, I belive. Profession name: useless cripple
I could throw you at the STFO, just to see what happens. So you're not useless =D
Post by: Gizogin on September 22, 2011, 05:49:42 pm
Post by: Teneb on September 22, 2011, 08:07:01 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 22, 2011, 08:56:32 pm
Post by: Johuotar on September 23, 2011, 12:18:08 am
I no longer remember what the project was about, or were there multiple?
Post by: Ieb on September 23, 2011, 01:40:23 am
Everything else is extra.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 23, 2011, 02:05:13 am
With a fort like this I would imagine that the project was to keep dorfs from killing themselves.
Everything else is extra.
Why on earth would you make anything in a dwarf fortress that PREVENTS things from dying? Sounds decidedly undwarflike to me...
Post by: arcangelsd on September 23, 2011, 02:08:21 am
With a fort like this I would imagine that the project was to keep dorfs from killing themselves.
Everything else is extra.
Given that I'm planning to throw Deathsword trough a sinkhole in the ocean, I guess that "Keeping dorfs alive" wasn't the project.
Post by: Dariush on September 23, 2011, 03:06:40 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 23, 2011, 04:04:47 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 23, 2011, 04:16:08 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 23, 2011, 05:43:42 am
If it comes to it, I'll take a turn to flex my PC's hardware might to keep the Fort going
The fort can do fine in anyone's computer. We need something more powerful for running the STFO, the ocean driller!
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 23, 2011, 06:54:39 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 23, 2011, 09:13:05 am
The fort can do fine because there are all of three dozen living things there, three quarters of which are forgotten beasts.Fixed that for you.
Post by: Dariush on September 23, 2011, 09:34:06 am
The fort can do fine because there are all of three dozen living things there, half of which are forgotten beasts.You are forgetting the not-insignificant near-constant population of goblins on the eastern edge of the map!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 23, 2011, 09:35:27 am
The fort can do fine because there are all of three dozen living things there, half of which are forgotten beasts.You are forgetting the not-insignificant near-constant population of goblins on the eastern edge of the map!
I thought they'd left/been killed?
Post by: arcangelsd on September 23, 2011, 09:39:50 am
Post by: Teneb on September 23, 2011, 12:03:54 pm
Oh and please yell "FOR ‼SCIENCE‼ !" when you do it, or at least picture my dwarf doing it.
Post by: Dariush on September 23, 2011, 12:09:05 pm
What will be at the bottom of the ocean sinkhole anyway?Stairs covered with hatches. XD
Also a small self-sustaining outpost that will keep me and others who helped build it alive. Or maybe we'll use it as the main, absolutely secure entrance (well, unless someone breaks the power supply).
Post by: Teneb on September 23, 2011, 12:12:37 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 23, 2011, 12:23:22 pm
Well, this raises another question then: am I able to drag myself around?
It seems that no.
But I'm scheming how to throw you directly from the bed to the sinkhole.
Post by: rridgway on September 23, 2011, 12:58:53 pm
Also, we should make a shallow trench of the Ocean of Slime, and have any sieges path through that before we engage.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 23, 2011, 01:10:32 pm
Post by: rridgway on September 23, 2011, 01:20:45 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 23, 2011, 01:23:22 pm
Or both!
Or we could simply let them fight the forgotten beasts.
If they ever find the way and do not get lost forever down there. It seems that the pathing from the deepest zones of Failcannon is broken xDDDD
And now that I think of it, that idea would be VERY satisfying xDDD
Post by: arcangelsd on September 23, 2011, 01:23:58 pm
Post by: Dariush on September 23, 2011, 01:55:34 pm
Dammit! I keep clicking the wrong button!'Reset' instead of 'quote'?
Post by: da_nang on September 23, 2011, 02:15:46 pm
It's the FBs' way of lamenting their decision to enter the Maze of Madness that is the Depths of Failcannon, interpreted by the mechanical and logical minds of dwarves.Dammit! I keep clicking the wrong button!'Reset' instead of 'quote'?
"Reset! Reset!"
What do dwarves do? Have them go through the maze again. With more madness added. It's the new circle of Hell.
Post by: kisame12794 on September 23, 2011, 02:22:49 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 23, 2011, 03:18:38 pm
P.D.: The button that I keep presssing is "quote" instead of "modify"
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 23, 2011, 05:11:20 pm
Congratulations on completing the STFO! And with only a handful of dwarves too, wow, nicely done.
The top level only. It's 3 pumps to completion, so I'll test it today and tell about the results (especially in FPS) I think that the only ones able to run it without getting the game to a snail's pace are Catalyst, with his hyperbuff computer, and me, given that I am currently at 21-25! FPS
The really, really
Post by: arcangelsd on September 23, 2011, 05:45:17 pm
BREAKING NEWS: a caravan of humans came today! We're all excited and ready to trade and...
BREAKING NEWS! The kobolds laid siege to us! Three archer squads were seen approaching the fortress from the north!
In other related news, our human friends are no longer able to trade with us.
In other unrelated news, THE STFO IS COMPLETE!
There have been complains of it being "unsafe" but our friend ‼Scientist‼ Deathsword II has proposed himself as a voluntary to test the safety of the project! ALL HAIL DEATHSWORD!
Today is a happy day for our beloved fortress! A adventurer just came to our fortress and accepted to live here! And his desicion wasn't at all motivated by Dariush, Darvi, Gizogin and Mormota "welcoming" him!
Deathsword has also got up from her bed! And there was much rejoicing! And it wasn't at all because she wasn't issued a crutch and is currently crawling around the fortress looking for a drink! HAHAHA isn't it hilarious!? Actually I found her crawling around creepy. We've interviewed her:
ERICA, FOR EVERYTHING IT'S SACRED GIVE ME A CRUTCH! ******************** of a elf!
That's all what she had to say! Stay tuned to Failcannon today! And remember, that with our brand new adamantine emisor/receptor we can't telepathically speak to you at all!
It's only that this tower has.. a good acoustic!
(Ladies and gentlemans, I present you.. the Failcannon News Tower!)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Oh the fate! Dariush fell to the sea! Not he's an novice swimmer. A pissed novice swimmer. He says he spent several weeks alone in the sea because no one bothered to look down. Thank the gods he survived!
Still, It's scheduled that Deathsword will be performing his stunt soon!
(Out of character: the STFO seems to not be too much of a hassle for my processor, I did the test run, when dariush fell to the sea, and I was at 17 FPS; i lost about 5-7 FPS)
Post by: Darvi on September 23, 2011, 06:01:35 pm
Post by: rridgway on September 23, 2011, 06:05:16 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 23, 2011, 06:08:10 pm
Could I be dorfed as that migrant, if that was a migrant, and if he isn't going to be killed off instantly ?I was thinking to throw him off the sinkhole too, but that's fine. All yours! rridgway?
Dammit I hoped he wouldn't survive it...Dude, you just got the "Balls of
Look where you decided to sleep now.
(http://i1096.photobucket.com/albums/g336/arcangelsd/Failcannon-7.png)
Post by: rridgway on September 23, 2011, 06:34:42 pm
Could I be dorfed as that migrant, if that was a migrant, and if he isn't going to be killed off instantly ?I was thinking to throw him off the sinkhole too, but that's fine. All yours! rridgway?Dammit I hoped he wouldn't survive it...Dude, you just got the "Balls ofsteelslade" prize of the day. And the second during my overseeing, the other being when you slept with the FB.
Look where you decided to sleep now.
(http://i1096.photobucket.com/albums/g336/arcangelsd/Failcannon-7.png)
Yeah, rridgway. Thanks!
Also, what's next, is he going to throw a lizard remains at a entire siege, one shotting the leader and causing them to retreat?
Post by: arcangelsd on September 23, 2011, 06:41:43 pm
Today is the day! Our local hero Deathsword is going to do the run test for the STFO, to show the masses tha it is completely safe!
(http://i1096.photobucket.com/albums/g336/arcangelsd/Failcannon-8.png)
And there she goes! FOR SCIENCE!!
(http://i1096.photobucket.com/albums/g336/arcangelsd/Failcannon-9.png)
A little off the "safe" landing zone...
(http://i1096.photobucket.com/albums/g336/arcangelsd/Failcannon-10.png)
FUCK
Yup. The STFO is completly safe, as demonstrated! So, Fellow dwarves of Failcannon, enjoy its magnificence! And always remember Deathsword!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(Out of press: I'm on my second mid-winter. I'll finish tomorrow morning and write a wall of text. Sadly, I think I'll be unable to finish my second megaproject: the FailCannon News Tower [FNC Tower on the map] )
Post by: Darvi on September 23, 2011, 08:26:57 pm
Dude, you just got the "Balls ofThat explains how I survived all those repeated groin attacks in RL.steelslade" prize of the day.
Post by: Teneb on September 23, 2011, 09:04:41 pm
meanwhile make me a slab and place it in the STFO
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 23, 2011, 09:16:52 pm
Also, if you can rig up some waterwheels over the outflow of the pumps, you should be able to get it self-powered so you don't have to worry about an accidental cutoff. I'd put a lever controlling the wheel's output under the hatch, just in case you need to bid goodbye to the world if you do.
Post by: Eric Blank on September 23, 2011, 09:54:35 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 23, 2011, 10:11:32 pm
Post by: SethCreiyd on September 23, 2011, 10:15:20 pm
Post by: Mego on September 23, 2011, 10:25:22 pm
Also, the beating of a kobold with a crossbow reminded me of a certain backpack...
Post by: Darvi on September 23, 2011, 10:36:43 pm
Post by: Mormota on September 24, 2011, 02:07:23 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 24, 2011, 05:11:09 am
I WILL RETURN!
meanwhile make me a slab and place it in the STFO
Kay. If it causes another poor soul to be sucked into the STFO, there will be much rejoicing (and irony).
Oh man, if i hadn't seen the you fling Deathsword (and he wasn't somewhat mobile) I was actually gonna suggest loading his bed on the bridge and flinging him to it. Demented minds think alike, evidently.
Also, if you can rig up some waterwheels over the outflow of the pumps, you should be able to get it self-powered so you don't have to worry about an accidental cutoff. I'd put a lever controlling the wheel's output under the hatch, just in case you need to bid goodbye to the world if you do.
She was mobile. She was crawling around... I don't know exactly how, but I have two ideas: she was using her teeth, or she was undulating like a snake.
Nah, I'll leave orders to the next overseer to gather more wood and build more wheels in my power plant near the shore.
Hmm... Only one more year before I have coalesced enough energy (mostly of anguish and fear) to begin interacting with the fortress and it's occupants more directly, perhaps getting this idiot mason to run for office... I expect though that she'll be killed while I'm not paying attention... Probably in bed. By a face-eating undead mussel.
Catalyst is our mayor for the rest of the life of the fortress, of her life. The fact that as I broke my mind explaining why she can't be deposed because she's an enemy of our civ, but she fills the "one mayor cap" simply causes so much hilarity to be stopped.
Oh, forgot to ask - what's Aussie Dwarf up to? Still hiding from danger?
Yes, as always, Aussie disappears not only when there is some danger, but if the job is perilous, you nearly always seem to be "On break"
While I wouldn't mind being compared to HD, who was pretty much the most hardass being in her respective worldgen, it's not really comparable since crossbows are meant to be usable as hammers while backpacks... aren't...
Okay, they are meant to be used as a hammer. But you broke every articulation of its body and then impaled it with a crossbow. I think you qualify to be the most hardass being in Failcannon right now, with Mormota and Gizogin.
What is my dwarf doing?
Nothing, actually. Since the only thing I need to complete are the windows of the FCN Tower (I said FNC before, my bad, lack of sleep and too much New Vegas make up for weird mistakes), we are very short of job. Maybe I'll expand the power plant, but we're short of wood. I'll make the connections and leave to the next overseers actully putting some wheels in there.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 24, 2011, 05:18:21 am
Oh, forgot to ask - what's Aussie Dwarf up to? Still hiding from danger?
Yes, as always, Aussie disappears not only when there is some danger, but if the job is perilous, you nearly always seem to be "On break"
For some reason I'm picturing my dwarf adding a "heh, sucker" under his breath.
Post by: Dariush on September 24, 2011, 05:42:47 am
What exactly were you trying to accomplish by dumping dwarves there?
Post by: arcangelsd on September 24, 2011, 06:28:29 am
Fuck yeah, the Project is working!
What exactly were you trying to accomplish by dumping dwarves there?
I was trying to accomplish ‼Science‼
It is, nothing. But is funny to throw cripples trough a sinkhole.
Post by: Darvi on September 24, 2011, 06:59:34 am
I think you qualify to be the most hardass being in Failcannon right now, with Mormota and Gizogin.That's the benefit of having abysmal empathy. No mercy.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 24, 2011, 07:17:35 am
It is, nothing. But is funny to throw cripples trough a sinkhole.
Especially since you have to actually work to keep the sinkhole extant.
Post by: arcangelsd on September 24, 2011, 07:22:52 am
It is, nothing. But is funny to throw cripples trough a sinkhole.
Especially since you have to actually work to keep the sinkhole extant.
Nope. It works on its own now.
I WILL RETURN!
meanwhile make me a slab and place it in the STFO
Kay. If it causes another poor soul to be sucked into the STFO, there will be much rejoicing (and irony).
(http://i1096.photobucket.com/albums/g336/arcangelsd/Failcannon-12.png)
OOPS
There is much rejoicing and irony now.
Okay, I'm finished. I'll be sorry for the double post, but Wall of text incoming!
Post by: Darvi on September 24, 2011, 08:07:41 am
Post by: Johuotar on September 24, 2011, 08:21:21 am
How many dorfs we have now?
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 24, 2011, 08:23:37 am
Post by: Mormota on September 24, 2011, 08:26:31 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 24, 2011, 08:27:10 am
We're down two, so i'd guess seven.
Nine, actually.
FAILCANNON
We're working on it
Post by: Dariush on September 24, 2011, 09:03:57 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 24, 2011, 09:09:57 am
Could you please finish the Project? The last burrow in the list is the plan for the construction. If you wish to continue construction and don't understand the plan, I'll sketch something up in Paint.
If Cignus doesn't mind, I could do it.
Post by: Mormota on September 24, 2011, 10:53:58 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 24, 2011, 10:57:14 am
Post by: Eric Blank on September 24, 2011, 03:29:44 pm
Cignus must be pm'd!
My cat just puked on me... ew...
Post by: Teneb on September 24, 2011, 06:31:20 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on September 24, 2011, 06:49:27 pm
I bet the nextYour slab fell to the sea, so, in a sense, it IS in the STFO xDsuckersacrificevictimdwarf that tires to slab me will drown. Again. So do it!
Post by: Mego on September 24, 2011, 09:23:36 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I call it... Ode to Failcannon.
Post by: Teneb on September 24, 2011, 09:48:15 pm
I got inspired by the thread title:Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I call it... Ode to Failcannon.
And now I suppose you want me to sing that or something. You probably don't, but that does give me an idea anyway. May or may not result in something acceptable.
Post by: Eric Blank on September 24, 2011, 09:51:01 pm
Post by: Teneb on September 24, 2011, 09:52:37 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 24, 2011, 10:22:20 pm
I got inspired by the thread title:Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I call it... Ode to Failcannon.
You got me, the thread title is a reference.
Post by: Mego on September 24, 2011, 11:06:45 pm
And now I suppose you want me to sing that or something. You probably don't, but that does give me an idea anyway. May or may not result in something acceptable.
I am actually working on trying to get a decent-sounding version made.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 24, 2011, 11:19:52 pm
Post by: Mego on September 24, 2011, 11:29:33 pm
Also, fixed:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I can't believe I screwed up some of the lyrics on one of my favorite songs.
Post by: Darvi on September 25, 2011, 06:40:20 am
It would need to be sung by a Viking, a Scotsman,I'd volunteer for those two except that my heritage has probably been too sullied by middlewestern-european blood.
Post by: arcangelsd on September 25, 2011, 07:02:43 am
But is dangerous to go alone, take this:
http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4974
Post by: Mego on September 25, 2011, 01:44:39 pm
It would need to be sung by a Viking, a Scotsman,I'd volunteer for those two except that my heritage has probably been too sullied by middlewestern-european blood.
I think getting Genghis Khan to sing for us would be the hard part. Vikings and Scotsmen are easy to find. 12th-century Mongolian warlords are a bit sparser.
On a side note, my vocal rendition of this song has been shelved due to coming down with a cold. Perhaps in a few days, I'll try again.
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 25, 2011, 11:01:13 pm
Oh, forgot to ask - what's Aussie Dwarf up to? Still hiding from danger?
Just looked at the save - apparently in the main courtyard, on her way to construct a kobold bone bridge to block/allow access to the STFO. She has some minor bruising to her lower body, is covered in water (apparently she was caught in the rain recently and also had a nice bath...), all her clothes are worn and ragged, and she has been haunted by the dead, but she's nonetheless quite happy.
Since she's a worshiper of Lur Thiefwitch, I like to think that he's the one haunting her, so it's actually causing happy thoughts.
Arcangelsd - any idea why there's some random lyemaker locked outside the western wall?
Post by: arcangelsd on September 26, 2011, 12:08:42 am
As for the lye maker, if it's not a "controlable" dorf, it's a diplomat. We have an army of them now. Possibly related to the Catalyst bug, they won't go crazy.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 26, 2011, 12:22:18 am
...How can we weaponize them against the goblins?
Post by: Scaraban on September 26, 2011, 12:24:22 am
Post by: Mego on September 26, 2011, 12:29:32 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 26, 2011, 12:43:38 am
Well, first, we need a catapult...
Build a bridge and a dwarf manning the corresponding lever to ask "questions three" as they try to cross it.
Post by: Strategia on September 26, 2011, 04:19:19 am
It would need to be sung by a Viking, a Scotsman, and Genghis Khan, all filled with various alcoholic beverages.
That is the most concise description of dorfs I have ever seen.
Post by: Oglokoog on September 27, 2011, 12:06:38 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 27, 2011, 12:07:01 pm
Post by: Oglokoog on September 27, 2011, 12:17:22 pm
Post by: Dariush on September 27, 2011, 12:33:20 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 27, 2011, 12:34:19 pm
Post by: Darvi on September 27, 2011, 01:29:29 pm
In short: Dwarf Fortress.
Post by: rridgway on September 27, 2011, 05:16:44 pm
Post by: Mego on September 27, 2011, 07:37:20 pm
So, hows my little guy been doing so far?
That resulted in all but 5 dwarves to die. Those that are left now are either in hospital, dead, or merciless killing machines.
In short: Dwarf Fortress.
I think that's all that needs to be said.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 27, 2011, 10:24:40 pm
Post by: rridgway on September 27, 2011, 10:34:36 pm
Wait, did i miss another loyalty cascade? Is Aussie Dwarf hiding away out of harm's way like a good little schemer?
First of all, is it even called a loyalty cascade in regards to FailCannon?
Second, a loyalty casade with 9 dwarves, is that even possible?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 27, 2011, 11:43:13 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 27, 2011, 11:50:12 pm
Post by: rridgway on September 28, 2011, 12:21:24 am
It's entirely possible. You only need two dwarves to make them fight to the death. But no, Oglokoog's not been around since before the one we had IIRC.
Of course you could engineer one, by putting one in a squad and having that dwarf kill a merchant, I was referring to one naturally starting. I've never seen one naturally start with less than 60 dwarves. To have one spring up at 9 would be (to me at least) unheard of.
Post by: Strategia on September 28, 2011, 03:37:07 am
Of course you could engineer one, by putting one in a squad and having that dwarf kill a merchant
I propose that each dorf should be made a squad unto themselves (so as to avoid squads splitting over loyalty and killing each other), and each of them shall kill a merchant/liaison to switch loyalty. We will rise up and rebel against Led the Bloody! Failcannon for the Failcannonites!
We the People of the United Dorfs, in Order to form a more perfect Fortress, establish Dwarven Justice, insure magmatic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the underground Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Armok to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Dorfstitution for the United Dorfs of Failcannon.....
Post by: Darvi on September 28, 2011, 04:01:55 am
Post by: arcangelsd on September 28, 2011, 07:27:11 am
Post by: Strategia on September 28, 2011, 11:07:20 am
Post by: Gizogin on September 28, 2011, 11:40:13 am
Of course you could engineer one, by putting one in a squad and having that dwarf kill a merchant
I propose that each dorf should be made a squad unto themselves (so as to avoid squads splitting over loyalty and killing each other), and each of them shall kill a merchant/liaison to switch loyalty. We will rise up and rebel against Led the Bloody! Failcannon for the Failcannonites!
We the People of the United Dorfs, in Order to form a more perfect Fortress, establish Dwarven Justice, insure magmatic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the underground Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Armok to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Dorfstitution for the United Dorfs of Failcannon.....
How can you justify a revolution? We helped you defeat the repeated invasion attempts of the
(Sorry, but as an English citizen, I have to stand up for what is right)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 28, 2011, 12:01:16 pm
whatever the dwarven civilization's name is
Dastot Cog (The Sword of Boots).
Post by: Gizogin on September 28, 2011, 03:48:33 pm
whatever the dwarven civilization's name is
Dastot Cog (The Sword of Boots).
Fixed.
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 28, 2011, 08:17:49 pm
Because she isn't part of our civilization, it is. But she HAD some armour equipped a time ago, now it's lying on her quarters.
You.... you STRIPPED me?!
Post by: Karakzon on September 29, 2011, 02:17:53 am
Because she isn't part of our civilization, it is. But she HAD some armour equipped a time ago, now it's lying on her quarters.
You.... you STRIPPED me?!
lol.
The bright side: your room probably has no windows.
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 29, 2011, 02:30:32 am
Post by: Karakzon on September 29, 2011, 02:48:00 am
well at least the majority of the population is dead and now you have an easy excuse for wanting to kill everyone ^^
Post by: Mego on September 29, 2011, 07:22:19 am
Of course you could engineer one, by putting one in a squad and having that dwarf kill a merchant
I propose that each dorf should be made a squad unto themselves (so as to avoid squads splitting over loyalty and killing each other), and each of them shall kill a merchant/liaison to switch loyalty. We will rise up and rebel against Led the Bloody! Failcannon for the Failcannonites!
We the People of the United Dorfs, in Order to form a more perfect Fortress, establish Dwarven Justice, insure magmatic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the underground Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Armok to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Dorfstitution for the United Dorfs of Failcannon.....
How can you justify a revolution? We helped you defeat the repeated invasion attempts of theFrenchgoblins, outfitted and equipped you to give you a chance to support yourselves, and have continually offered our protection and the privilege of being a part ofEnglandwhatever the dwarven civilization's name isDatost Cog, and this is how you repay us? By plotting to attack our merchants, seize our generously offeredteatrade goods, and throw them in theharborMAGMA?
(Sorry, but as an English citizen, I have to stand up for what is right)
im frum amurrikkah an i dun apuuv dis hurr missij.
Post by: kisame12794 on September 29, 2011, 11:11:04 am
WTF
Sincerly
Canada
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 29, 2011, 02:04:21 pm
WTF mate?
Sincerely
Australia
Post by: Strategia on September 29, 2011, 03:14:30 pm
Dear Armok what have I done I'm not even American
How can you justify a revolution?Of course you could engineer one, by putting one in a squad and having that dwarf kill a merchant
I propose that each dorf should be made a squad unto themselves (so as to avoid squads splitting over loyalty and killing each other), and each of them shall kill a merchant/liaison to switch loyalty. We will rise up and rebel against Led the Bloody! Failcannon for the Failcannonites!
We the People of the United Dorfs, in Order to form a more perfect Fortress, establish Dwarven Justice, insure magmatic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the underground Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Armok to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Dorfstitution for the United Dorfs of Failcannon.....
Four words: Fetus Head Smash Day.
Post by: kisame12794 on September 29, 2011, 04:01:19 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 29, 2011, 04:11:26 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on September 29, 2011, 04:47:25 pm
Post by: Mego on September 29, 2011, 07:22:38 pm
WHY?
Sincerely,
Mego
So I heard Bay12 forumgoers like Failcannon updates.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 29, 2011, 08:42:42 pm
Dear Armok what have I done I'm not even AmericanHow can you justify a revolution?Of course you could engineer one, by putting one in a squad and having that dwarf kill a merchant
I propose that each dorf should be made a squad unto themselves (so as to avoid squads splitting over loyalty and killing each other), and each of them shall kill a merchant/liaison to switch loyalty. We will rise up and rebel against Led the Bloody! Failcannon for the Failcannonites!
We the People of the United Dorfs, in Order to form a more perfect Fortress, establish Dwarven Justice, insure magmatic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the underground Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Armok to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Dorfstitution for the United Dorfs of Failcannon.....
Four words: Fetus Head Smash Day.
Three words: Weasel Stomping Day (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k76IGLi6jWI&ob=av3e)
Post by: Kirbypowered on September 29, 2011, 08:48:24 pm
First time ever, I'd like to request any random old migrant dwarf by the name of Kirby. Profession, I don't know, Infinite Vacuum? Of course, as mentioned somewhere earlier, Mr. Body Swap Dude ought to have more priority to be redwarfed. Though I guess with all the thirds and fourths around here at this point that could be referring to anyone.
Good luck in fighting off real life current/future overseers. ;D
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 29, 2011, 09:04:46 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on September 30, 2011, 12:09:07 am
Longshot Conditional Request for Turn:
I would like to be added to the turn list again, intending to take said turn if, and ONLY IF, Catalyst, Dictatress For Life, is still in the fortress at that time.
I did say longshot.
Post by: Strategia on September 30, 2011, 02:16:09 am
Three words: Weasel Stomping Day (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k76IGLi6jWI&ob=av3e)
What's wrong with Kobold Stomping Day?
Post by: Mego on September 30, 2011, 06:28:53 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 30, 2011, 09:08:21 pm
Post by: Mego on September 30, 2011, 09:52:24 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on October 01, 2011, 03:56:54 am
Yeah, but I wanted arcangelsd to post his last update first. Looks like that's not going to happen, so I'll update the OP and PM Cignus tomorrow.
Oops.
FAILCANNON NEWS
Dear.. uhh.. surviving residents of Failcannon! I speak to you, not via telepathic emission at all, because, as you know, my new broadcasting tower has a very good acoustic! Yes, acoustic it is! The adamantine emitter does nothing at all! it does not keep you happy despite al the horrible news and deaths that we have suffered recently!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And now dear
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Also, jumping out to another topic, given the perilous nature of our awesome ocean driller AKA STFO, I have decided to share the layout of the place with you, adjunting useful notes, in order to avoid tragic accidents like those that ocurred to Deathsword and Urist!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Also, I have a very, maybe the most important new ever given in this broadcast short history:
I, Arcangelsd, the dwarf that has kept you united and working, as the very best of the craftdwarves, like in the good old days of our mountainhomes, that has ordered built two of the most awe-inspiring landmarks in this town, resigns as the overseer of this place, to continue my work as the news broadcaster of this still-surviving, prospering community. Not at all to lie low because half of my speech consist of suspiciously specific denials, neither to mind control you to build sanity-destroying constructs, and definitely not at all because I don't trust none of you
So, the next
To sum up: have no fear of the fiends of the subterranean world, as their minds get confused and paralyzed in the warped sublevels of this
Still, don't remove the walls marked with a note spelling "Quarantine walls", just in case.
Also, don't get disturbed about the unnaturally high number of foreigner dwarves that are lingering around our living rooms. They are liaisons, and totally harmless (as in they haven't gone insane yet), even the one that spends all his time lying on a table near Dariush'(s?) room.
Our dear mayor, Catalyst, is by now fine, trapped in her room, and more than happy to spook any fool that get too near to her room's windows.
About our trade agreements, don't even try to open the doors to let the traders in. It seems that somebody (maybe the elves, or that scoundrel Aussie) are in league with the goblins, that kill the dwarven caravans, and the suspiciously steel-clad kobolds that ambush and kill the human caravans. Elves are fine, though, but if I were you, I'd keep an eye on them. Maybe they aren't who they say to be! Elves that don't bring wood? Who in heavens are they trying to fool? They are spies!
Whatever. I'd say the best course of action with the elves would be to kill them all. If you don't mind the outrageous amount of garbage they leave, it is.
And with that, I say goodbye to my overseeing position, leaving it free to anyone brave enough to manage this fortress. Hee hee hee. Have luck with that.
(http://i1096.photobucket.com/albums/g336/arcangelsd/ItsmE.png)
Post by: Mego on October 01, 2011, 06:46:51 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 01, 2011, 08:41:03 am
Except you Aussie you dirty traitor
About our trade agreements, don't even try to open the doors to let the traders in. It seems that somebody (maybe the elves, or that scoundrel Aussie) are in league with the goblins, that kill the dwarven caravans, and the suspiciously steel-clad kobolds that ambush and kill the human caravans.
I get the feeling you suspect my dwarf of some sort of insidious plot - well you're way off. It's a grand machiavellian plot of insane complexity and intellect that even I need a full whiteboard of notes to keep track of it.
Post by: arcangelsd on October 01, 2011, 09:19:22 am
Except you Aussie you dirty traitor
About our trade agreements, don't even try to open the doors to let the traders in. It seems that somebody (maybe the elves, or that scoundrel Aussie) are in league with the goblins, that kill the dwarven caravans, and the suspiciously steel-clad kobolds that ambush and kill the human caravans.
I get the feeling you suspect my dwarf of some sort of insidious plot - well you're way off. It's a grand machiavellian plot of insane complexity and intellect that even I need a full whiteboard of notes to keep track of it.
Yes, but I got you as the number one suspect for virtually everything.
Post by: Strategia on October 01, 2011, 10:30:49 am
Except you Aussie you dirty traitor
About our trade agreements, don't even try to open the doors to let the traders in. It seems that somebody (maybe the elves, or that scoundrel Aussie) are in league with the goblins, that kill the dwarven caravans, and the suspiciously steel-clad kobolds that ambush and kill the human caravans.
I get the feeling you suspect my dwarf of some sort of insidious plot - well you're way off. It's a grand machiavellian plot of insane complexity and intellect that even I need a full whiteboard of notes to keep track of it.
Yes, but I got you as the number one suspect for virtually everything.
No, see, that's how it appears, but when you dig a little deeper, you'll find that there are a multitude of reasons for whatever you suspect Aussie of, and nothing can be tied back to him.
Which is exactly the way he planned it.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 01, 2011, 11:46:22 am
Now, where did that save go... I want to see this masterpiece.
62.6 MB. truly enormous.
Post by: Darvi on October 01, 2011, 01:04:03 pm
Post by: Lokspear on October 01, 2011, 07:43:31 pm
I would like dwarfing please. Any old male dwarf and if you happen to still be arming them id prefer a spear.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 01, 2011, 08:36:54 pm
Did somebody change his profession or why is Aussie suddenly the memetic mastermind?
My first dwarf got himself crippled and put in hospital - he survived the loyalty cascade by being out of the way of all the fighting and even when he got out on crutches, he kept staying out of the way of anything bad happening. I kinda joked he was cunning and plotting simply because he was never anywhere close to all the !!Fun!! things and people seemed to agree.
The second one... didn't do to well. This one seems to be getting sneaky again by avoiding all the bad stuff going on. Even declaring he's "on break" when a task of certain death is requested by the overseer. You gotta watch him - he's crafty, he is...
Post by: Mormota on October 02, 2011, 12:13:13 pm
Did somebody change his profession or why is Aussie suddenly the memetic mastermind?
My first dwarf got himself crippled and put in hospital - he survived the loyalty cascade by being out of the way of all the fighting and even when he got out on crutches, he kept staying out of the way of anything bad happening. I kinda joked he was cunning and plotting simply because he was never anywhere close to all the !!Fun!! things and people seemed to agree.
The second one... didn't do to well. This one seems to be getting sneaky again by avoiding all the bad stuff going on. Even declaring he's "on break" when a task of certain death is requested by the overseer. You gotta watch him - he's crafty, he is...
I think Darvi meant that his profession was Vizzini Gambiter last time.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 02, 2011, 03:14:55 pm
______________
Personal Journal of Erica.
Lately I've been harassed by this idiotic "Twobeard," who thinks sexually harassing a woman and the ghost possessing her will have no consequences. I've even been forced to leave the body during the night to prevent him from doing anything particularly stupid. He hasn't given up, not relenting to the smallest degree, and even after so many years as a spirit I haven't figured out how to deal with people like him. Knowing that I'm protecting her has made this body more cooperative, however.
Fortunately everything else is going well. I've had enough peace to experience the wonderful dining room that I didn't know we had previously, as well as enough time disembodied to admire the wonderful room I've claimed. The idiot says she likes the nice traps to be found all over the place, and the nice, comfy bed, which I can't enjoy due to being on watch while she sleeps. Only problem is the rain weakens my control over her, because it thins my energy out. This would normally be a good thing as it permits a free spirit to perform more complicated procedures, but not for possessions, where your energy must remain very concentrated.
I still refuse to make any attempt to comprehend this place.
- Erica.
_____________
Post by: Mego on October 03, 2011, 11:18:53 pm
Post by: rridgway on October 03, 2011, 11:24:10 pm
I thought we already proved that not even Failcannon can destroy Failcannon.
Yeah, probably only Sankis and HolisticDetective tag teaming can bring us down currently.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 03, 2011, 11:37:09 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 03, 2011, 11:53:01 pm
I thought we already proved that not even Failcannon can destroy Failcannon.True. It was mainly for ‼SCIENCE‼, but there was much talk about how it is impossible to reclaim or create a new site on this save again, so I suppose I AM advocating a solution here: recreating Aluonra in the next version if such FUN is desired. ‼SCIENTIFICALLY‼ I needed to know if there was any way to reliably replicate the general topography of the world reliably regardless of changing other parameters, and now I am certain of a method.
Spoiler: Terrible Instructions (click to show/hide)
Just remember that the world you generate will be re-eroded by DF, causing it to change somewhat. Which actually makes sense in the case of Aluonra...
It also isn't picture-perfect:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I won't be happy till Stuzang turns up on Failcannon's doorstep, takes one look at the horrors we've inflicted upon ourselves, and leaves of it's own volition in pity for us.Personally I'm waiting for Nithari the Ocean Titan of the Blueness of Malodors to turn up and make the place it's personal palace.
Post by: EmeraldWind on October 04, 2011, 12:59:48 am
Spoiler: Aluonra's In-Game Historical Map (click to show/hide)
(http://img.ie/6066a.png)
Here's a crop of the northern area of the Blueness. Forts Battlefailed and Failcannon are in the bottom right-hand side of the image. The purple area they are in are the Plains of Ooze. The south fort is Battlefailed and the north fort is Failcannon.
They area to be quite close, but this is actually a rather inaccurate map. So now I go and look at the detailed graphical map of biomes and sites. Now I couldn't upload the full graphical map. It's huge. You see, on these detailed maps the game exports one embark square per pixel. Thus the map supplies the same level of detail as the embark map and the current travel map. I have got a cropped portion though. This is roughly the same area as the above cropped map.
(http://img.ie/4808a.png)
If you look for the forts, I've recolored them red. To make them stand out.
Here's a 400% blown-up crop more centered on the forts:
(http://img.ie/7bc67.png)
The two forts are apparently 3x3 embarks. And there is quite a distance between them. Remember that each square you see (which is one pixel on the true sized map, but a 4x4 pixel square here) is equal to one embark square or travel square and if I recal correctly each one of these squares is 48x48 fort mode tiles.
I was just interested in how close they were to each other. As I was looking at the maps, I decided to share that for other who might be curious.
I also ran these maps through Isoworld. It gave me a heck of a lot of trouble. Aluonra has a lot of data on just its maps alone. In fact, I couldn't even use all the maps I had to scale back and just use the necessary ones.
(http://img.ie/67ba6.png)
Spoiler: Slightly zoomed out image of same area (click to show/hide)
I wanted to go through and look at some of the other interesting terrain with Isoworld, but Aluonra is pretty flat. Not a whole lot to look at. I did run across one interesting feature of the world map I thought I should point out.
Spoiler: Star Mountain Range with a Lake/Sea and Island (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: For those who care, the names of these three weird features. (click to show/hide)
Well, that's my research for the day. I though it would be an interesting distraction for a bit.
Post by: SirAaronIII on October 04, 2011, 01:06:48 am
Post by: arcangelsd on October 04, 2011, 05:37:39 am
I won't be happy till Stuzang turns up on Failcannon's doorstep, takes one look at the horrors we've inflicted upon ourselves, and leaves of it's own volition in pity for us.It won't leave even if it wanted. You can only enter the Fail. You never leave. You never WILL leave. Even your bones will never leave. They will merge with the Fail, and become an integral part of it.
Told this way, Failcannon seems really creepy xD
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 04, 2011, 05:50:10 am
I won't be happy till Stuzang turns up on Failcannon's doorstep, takes one look at the horrors we've inflicted upon ourselves, and leaves of it's own volition in pity for us.It won't leave even if it wanted. You can only enter the Fail. You never leave. You never WILL leave. Even your bones will never leave. They will merge with the Fail, and become an integral part of it.
Told this way, Failcannon seems really creepy xD
Everyone killed each-other in a succession war, the place is probably so haunted we'll never get them all memorialized, and the mayor is a psychotic traitor who we dare not let out because she'll spread her traitorous ways like a disease and get the few remaining dwarves killed by arguing with eachother. FailCannon passed creepy AGES ago.
Post by: arcangelsd on October 04, 2011, 10:55:21 am
I won't be happy till Stuzang turns up on Failcannon's doorstep, takes one look at the horrors we've inflicted upon ourselves, and leaves of it's own volition in pity for us.It won't leave even if it wanted. You can only enter the Fail. You never leave. You never WILL leave. Even your bones will never leave. They will merge with the Fail, and become an integral part of it.
Told this way, Failcannon seems really creepy xD
Everyone killed each-other in a succession war, the place is probably so haunted we'll never get them all memorialized, and the mayor is a psychotic traitor who we dare not let out because she'll spread her traitorous ways like a disease and get the few remaining dwarves killed by arguing with eachother. FailCannon passed creepy AGES ago.
I used "creepy" because the other word I had in mind at the moment was "awesome"
Post by: Mego on October 04, 2011, 06:32:26 pm
I used "creepy" because the other word I had in mind at the moment was "awesome"
These two words are interchangeable.
Post by: rridgway on October 05, 2011, 12:36:37 am
Post by: Strategia on October 05, 2011, 07:24:30 am
I won't be happy till Stuzang turns up on Failcannon's doorstep, takes one look at the horrors we've inflicted upon ourselves, and leaves of it's own volition in pity for us.
It won't leave even if it wanted. You can only enter the Fail. You never leave. You never WILL leave. Even your bones will never leave. They will merge with the Fail, and become an integral part of it.
You inspired me. (I screwed up the rhyming something fierce, and you'll have to be creative pronouncing some of the words - e.g. "Failcannon" with an extra syllable. But then again, I never professed to be a songwriter :P)
On a dark desert boneyard, cool wind in my beard
Warm smell of horse zombies, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a terrible sight
My head grew heavy and my hopes grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the goblins yell
And I was thinking to myself,
’this is a deathtrap or this could be hell’
Then they shot off steel crossbows and they chased me inside
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...
Welcome to the fortress Failcannon
Such an awful place
Such an awful face
Plenty of rooms in the fortress Failcannon
Any time of year, you can die in here
Its halls are tiffany-twisted, it got the Failcannon curse
It has a lot of twisted, twisted beasts, that it calls friends
How they dance in the slime sea, sweet lethal dust.
Some dance to destroy us, some dance to die off
So I called up the mayor,
’please issue a mandate’
She said, 'we must throw off this cruel yoke or Led will kill us all!'
And still those FBs are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...
Welcome to the fortress Failcannon
Such an awful place
Such an awful face
They dyin' like flies in the fortress Failcannon
What an eldritch place, bring your frightened face
Blood is on the ceiling,
The dwarven wine on ice
And she said ’we are all just prisoners here, of Queen Led's device’
And in the royal chambers,
They gathered for the feast
The stab them with their light blue swords,
But they just can’t kill the beasts
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
’relax,’ said the dead god
We are doomed to haunt this place.
You can die off any time you like,
But you can never leave!
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 05, 2011, 07:28:34 am
Post by: kisame12794 on October 05, 2011, 07:53:50 am
Post by: arcangelsd on October 05, 2011, 08:00:30 am
I won't be happy till Stuzang turns up on Failcannon's doorstep, takes one look at the horrors we've inflicted upon ourselves, and leaves of it's own volition in pity for us.
It won't leave even if it wanted. You can only enter the Fail. You never leave. You never WILL leave. Even your bones will never leave. They will merge with the Fail, and become an integral part of it.
You inspired me. (I screwed up the rhyming something fierce, and you'll have to be creative pronouncing some of the words - e.g. "Failcannon" with an extra syllable. But then again, I never professed to be a songwriter :P)Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Awesome.
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 05, 2011, 01:07:46 pm
There this odd star-shaped mountain range in the south-west corner of the world map far from the forts. It's kind of interesting to me because of the big lake (or small sea) imbedded in the mountains. On top of that there is a rather big piece of land in the lake/sea. I haven't seen an odd formation like that in any of the worlds I've generated so far.Spoiler: Star Mountain Range with a Lake/Sea and Island (click to show/hide)Spoiler: For those who care, the names of these three weird features. (click to show/hide)
Well, that's my research for the day. I though it would be an interesting distraction for a bit.
I like this idea - and it ties into SethCreiyds' Goings-On-Of-The-Gods stories, as well! I propose that if and when we are ready for a follow-up, Seth lead us into it with whatever culmination his metaplot is building to!
And... that was amazing Strategia. Add it to the Codex Failcannon!
Post by: Mego on October 05, 2011, 05:33:04 pm
Spoiler: Version 1.1 (click to show/hide)
Also, some more inspired music from me:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Not the best song written for Failcannon, but I think it's decent at least. Free grave and memorial for whoever can name the song.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 05, 2011, 07:32:16 pm
Now then, I can write up my first post sometime tonight, as I've already played the majority of granite just observing the fortress. Fun is imminent, but killing them off without explicit intent is still beyond my abilities.
Post!
Post Humus journal of Erica Wheelcircles the Legendary Die-r
Granite 1st 539.
Today I decided to begin making attempts to control the fortress. It’s been slow, as this idiot I’ve possessed has no desire to simply speak to the others. Forcing her to take the job of overseer took months of pushing her before the position was even open.
She’s got the position though, since nobody else was willing to, aside from That lunatic Aussie-Dwarf. I can use her to give direct orders to the others now. I’ve given up possessing her at all times, but rather only when I need to.
Granite 5th 539.
Going well, I convinced the other dwarves that since there’s nothing specific needs done for now, they should clean up the mess. I’ve also begun a project to restrict all access to areas of the fortress we have no use for; strip mines, old rooms, catacombs with no space and which hold no tomb that any of the other spirits around me claim is incomplete. I’m also forbidding the items therein, I want them to be forgotten for the moment while I figure out a decent garbage disposal system. Atom smashers worked well before…
I needed to rest and store up energy so I left the fool to herself and the ghost of Twobeard. They’re apparently getting along well now…
The sands of time surge forward without fail, and I find the world is still as bitter and merciless as ever. The other spirits I see, those not eternally slumbering, have plans of their own. One dwarf who died of horrible infections caused by the terrible beasts below warned me that he felt the dwarves should at least wear shoes all the time, and preferably military equipment. I whole-heartedly agree, and thus I used the girl to convince the others to dress in military uniform, regardless of the fact they won’t be partaking in normal military procedures.
Granite 18th 539.
I was horrified to find that the fools hadn’t begun using their uniforms, and so I ordered a mandatory defensive drill and had everyone report to the control room.
And on the 19th of Granite arcangelsd said to meee: “I’m f#$@&^% drowning you famthut agak! Save me!”
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Alas I had no ability to neither swim nor ethereal power enough to lift him off the seabed so my possessing him did nothing but permit him to die without feeling the pain himself. Ungrateful elf was right pissed at me, either way. Not my fault, he chose to go out there for a gauntlet which there were plenty of duplicates of.
By the 25th Granite, they had all gotten their gear together and were stationed, all 8 of them, in the control room. I possessed Erica to relay to them the news of arcangelsd’s death below the waves, claiming that she saw him trip and fall in. I mean what the hell else could have happened? A sudden zombie-tigershark attack? Not a zombie for… a few yards at least. Nothing he had LOS with from the STFO...
I think they were mildly suspicious of her because of this, but mostly they just accepted it…
I ended the drill and told everyone to remain in uniform. The next morning when I came to check on my minion, she was naked again (damn close to it, anyway.), and upon further inspection, so is everyone else. I am thoroughly disappointed, but the other spirits found it rather amusing how we all end up dead together because of our ignorance of one another’s mistakes, and told me not to dwell on it. Without a true afterlife it seems, life goes on and on forever as disembodied spirits, and still nobody sane enough to care does care. Or maybe we’re all insane, who could diagnose the diagnoser of our insanity as sane themselves?
OoC: I don’t actually know why. As far as I can tell their orders are structured as any militia squad I’ve ever managed, who would happily wear their uniform literally everywhere, at any time, with standing orders or not. Any help with this is appreciated.
Granite 26th 539
While convening with the other spirits in the lowest, flooded quarter of Failcannon, we all witnessed one of the many horrid monsters dwelling there, Vesh Amasmondul Ibruknunur Rash, an enormous serpent, wander over to a door and smash it down without provocation, and then wander away nonchalantly. I swear those things are even more messed up in the head than any number of us.
Nobody had any ideas, and few had any interest, so the business of keeping the living alive and smarter than they currently are is left to me alone.
Soapalope later suggested I deconstruct vast portions of the fortress and remodel them, internally at least, so that it may be navigated more easily. I’m not sure if I’m up to such a daunting task with just 8 dwarves at my disposal…
Edit:
A spirit I met manifesting herself high over the ground, DuckThatQuacks, informed me of her intention to find the single most valuable item in the fortress - by usefulness or historical significance - and hide it "so that all may perish in fire and rot, and even the gods forget that Failcannon ever existed." I say she's absolutely bonkers, but she hasn't moved an inch, so i question whether she just wanted to get rid of me, or if she knows some obscure method to viewing the world around her. I haven't yet given the living the order to enchant a memorial stone to capture her soul yet, either way.
And so begins another year of utter misery in the fortress of Failcannon.
Post by: Mego on October 05, 2011, 08:48:44 pm
killing them off without explicit intent is still beyond my abilities.
Only in Failcannon can an overseer do nothing for a month and have nothing change.
Snipe-edit:
OoC: I don’t actually know why. As far as I can tell their orders are structured as any militia squad I’ve ever managed, who would happily wear their uniform literally everywhere, at any time, with standing orders or not. Any help with this is appreciated.
Probably a glitch due to the fact that the world was genned several DF versions ago. Also consider that nothing ever goes right in Failcannon, so this was somewhat to be expected.
Post by: EmeraldWind on October 05, 2011, 10:54:04 pm
OoC: I don’t actually know why. As far as I can tell their orders are structured as any militia squad I’ve ever managed, who would happily wear their uniform literally everywhere, at any time, with standing orders or not. Any help with this is appreciated.
Did you make sure under Squad schedules to set it so you see:
Inactive = Uniformed
If you can see "Inactive = Civ clothes" they will get naked.
I know its probably a 'duh' thing, but sometimes its the simple problems that are the most baffling.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 06, 2011, 12:18:37 am
Fortunately, we have migrants. A single siege operator. Odd. Trying to let him inside. Well, who desires a dorf?
I know exactly how Andreus felt when he wrote what is now my signature.
Post by: Scaraban on October 06, 2011, 12:20:43 am
Post by: Eric Blank on October 06, 2011, 12:24:33 am
Anyways, tomorrow will see a real update. Now is an excellent time to sleep.
Strangely enough, there are four (living) groundhogs submerged in 7/7s water underground. They were there the last time I looked at the save as well (couple years ago). Somehow this doesn't seem normal...
Actually, we may well have a pretty damn severe issue on our hands. More on this tomorrow...
Post by: Scaraban on October 06, 2011, 01:05:22 am
Scaraban it is... The ghost of Twobeard is already trying to make frends with you. No wonder you ran back and forth around the entry room for about twice as long as it took Catalyst to come raise the bridge and trap you inside. I'd be freaked out too if the first dwarf I met in my new and final home were a ghost.Nothing but good news, then? Capital!
Actually, we may well have a pretty damn severe issue on our hands. More on this tomorrow...
Post by: Mekboy on October 06, 2011, 07:54:34 am
Name me Mekboy IV, with a proffession of 'Doom Prophet'.
Mekboy sighed. Cast once more from her earthly shell, she could see the doom that was speedily approaching Failcannon. A tear in the aether, a rip in reality itself. She would have to stop it. Or at least save those that she could from Failcannon. Time to get to work. Finding a mind suitable took a while, and one that was near enough to Failcannon took even longer. Soon, however, she found one. Forcefully overiding its fragile psyche, she took control. Blinking a few times, she looked around. She appeared to be among a group of migrants, ordered to Failcannon by Queen Led. That would be good enough for her.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 06, 2011, 08:12:16 am
Entry -33-
I'm beginning to wonder how so many dwarves keep coming back from the dead - That salesman told me i bought the last Junior Dwarf Disguise kit he had (with real horsehair beard extensions and non-lead hair dye for fooling your friends and Forgotten Beasts). I wonder if they got the deluxe kit with the false eyebrows and pillow to stick under your tunic. They look nothing like they used to, i swear...
Post by: arcangelsd on October 06, 2011, 09:52:40 am
Post by: Eric Blank on October 06, 2011, 01:09:57 pm
I haven’t written in a long time, I feel less and less desire to. I suppose I should disclose the events of the last months.
On the 28th of Granite, Vesh lost her temper yet again and destroyed another door in the flooded sections. With her entire body rotting away in her kins' excretions she must be in excruciating pain, but alas only the spirits of her fellow forgotten beasts could possess her to ease this pain, and only the living could end it. I haven’t seen a single spirit of a forgotten beast, however. Perhaps they have no true souls, like the lesser beasts? Goblins too angry to leave (and who have broken the spell of Queen Led and thus were not drawn away to be reincarnated.) and elves bent on yelling at us about our resource usage are plenty, though.
On the 18th of Slate, a migrant arrived. He was under no possessions, and the dead demand their chances with the living, but Catalyst refused, saying this one was useful in his own right. Twobeard was the first to greet him, the lunatic. Being a ghost, the dwarf was absolutely terrified of him and Catalyst barely managed to close the gate behind him. We’ve learned his trades and he has been dubbed ‘Scaraban’ for whatever reason. He was an adventurer, unaltered by Led’s wicked ways, and hearing of Failcannon’s demise he came looking for both a challenge and a grand reward. He’s one of us now, though.
On the 24th of Slate, a zombie buzzard of Led’s design swooped down and started wrecking things, only really damaging a shale statue it knocked over. It was quickly put down by the living.
Unfortunately, it was a distraction. There was another zombie buzzard, more directly controlled by Led, which was tinkering with a floodgate directly beneath Garbage Dump A, where water flowed into a tunnel sealed by three such gates from an entirely open fortress. When DuckThatQuacks spotted it, he raised the alarm like I never thought a spirit could; all the living dwarves heard him bellowing from deep under ground and rushed to the surface to deal with the beast. That Aussie-Dwarf guy was the first to arrive, and easily dealt with it.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A crisis so ingenious and destructive, averted at the last instant. Knowing what zombies were capable of, and what Led desires, I was absolutely terrified to think we’d come so close to our own watery graves. Well, most of our graves would just be getting more damp than they were, but the living were pretty concerned.
On the 27th of Slate, the insane spirit of ‘Cheese’ Adilishen took a cave spider silk hood off a goblin corpse and hid it, yapping about how none of us would ever find it and how smart he felt. Idiot.
On the 3rd Felsite, Catalyst finally got a chance to have a mandate finished; Mormota made a sterling silver door for her.
Then on the 8th Felsite, ‘DuckThatQuacks’ finally found what he thinks is the metaphorical keystone of our world; an undecorated, foreign giant cave spider silk cloak one of the other spirits had been wearing when they died. His maniacal laughter was fully audible to even the forgotten beasts in the depths of the magma sea, but only served to reinforce the expressions of all the other spirits, seeming to say “are you bloody serious? :\”
Today is the 18th Felsite. Duck-That-Quacks-Maniacally and Cheese have gone back to moping about their boredom after realizing how helpful they had actually been by dealing with some of the trash through simply making it vanish. The living are left wandering around cleaning up the trash while the dead look for entertainment and watch for threats.
I witnessed arcangelsd making his way up to the top of his tower. He still refuses to speak to me. Mekboy also departed us, two other spirits I’ve never met before coming along with him. Said they were to look for fresh meat to send our way and any migrants Queen Led may have sent as saboteurs and break their possessions, bringing them safely to Failcannon, to labor until death, in the name of the dead who possess them. This Fortress is no refuge after all; nobody came here to live. Queen Led made sure of that, and still those who come, regardless of intention, die here in unspeakable ways when they have toiled long enough to earn our trust. They become the denizens of the Palace of the Dead, the Necropolis, which they had built.
I see now why Failcannon is the great crossroads of the universe, of every universe, as Lur Thiefwitch tells us. It is such because it is destined to be the last great battleground against the goddess of death and Queen Led. But none of those fighting will be alive, oh no. When no living soul stands in Failcannon to stave off the stagnation of ruinhood, when their labor that defends it ceases, Led and her armies of forsaken and unlucky souls will descend upon us, the last free souls in the multiverse, to decide whether the afterlife will ever again be open to the souls of the dead, and whether any soul will ever again know peace, in any world, of any god. The 400 souls here will defend, but only time will tell. Only time and willpower fight in the Wars of the Dead. We can measure our strength of will, but when is always the question.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
It wasn't particularly eventful. I haven't begun or continued any real projects, but have made it my goal to contain the insanity that lingers in our architecture. Perhaps though the Dead need a source of power, and ethereal defenses.
I really am left to think of Failcannon as the Palace of the Dead, and Failcannon itself representing as much the weapon of the last battle of the apocalypse as the labors of dwarves who refuse to die.
Post by: Karakzon on October 06, 2011, 01:39:26 pm
Temple of Armok?
depends on how fatalistic you want to be. but itd be nice to have a one last screw you to the godess of the dead.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 06, 2011, 02:19:23 pm
Well, other than housing all of the dead in one structure rigged to collapse and ruin their peaceful slumber on cue.
HOW IN ARMOK'S NAME DID CATALYST ESCAPE HER CELL!?!?
...She's part of the 'safe house' burrow which includes most of the first underground layer of Failcannon, and somehow a door got unlocked...
Gizogin is trying to kill her, yet she's still conducting a meeting with the diplomats for whatever reason.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 06, 2011, 02:31:29 pm
What was that you said about surviving your turn?
Post by: Eric Blank on October 06, 2011, 02:37:14 pm
I don't know who unlocked the door to her cell, but she has been recaptured. She was the only one to take injuries during the event, suffering many bolts from the ranger squad to various body parts. My guess is she'll die of infection some day. Nobody else has thus far suffered allegiance alterations.
Many of the other dwarves tried to store/retrieve items from her stockpiles. Took forever to sort that out while still having her path to the cell. Scaraban made off with one of her longland grass seed roasts, and the other militia members picked up/tried to store some of their gear because I had stationed them (quite far from the path to her cell) to get them out of her way and prevent any fighting. It actually was quite difficult to accomplish...
Post by: Kirbypowered on October 06, 2011, 04:13:57 pm
Post by: Gizogin on October 06, 2011, 04:47:08 pm
...
Okay then. Hope you die of gangrene, or whatever.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 06, 2011, 04:53:04 pm
Before all of this happened, she forbid the export of swordfish bone...
Also; anyone desire to have all the contaminants around the fort (blood, vomit, mud, the like) cleaned up with DFhack?
Post by: Scaraban on October 06, 2011, 05:28:00 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on October 06, 2011, 05:49:11 pm
Also; anyone desire to have all the contaminants around the fort (blood, vomit, mud, the like) cleaned up with DFhack?
Nope. They are features. =D
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 06, 2011, 05:50:27 pm
Post by: Mego on October 06, 2011, 06:44:45 pm
Also; anyone desire to have all the contaminants around the fort (blood, vomit, mud, the like) cleaned up with DFhack?
No. Better idea: modify the raws so that blood and vomit can be made into building material. Our fortress shall be made of bone, blood, and vomit!
Post by: Eric Blank on October 06, 2011, 06:53:58 pm
In better news, We have more migrants on 1st Galena, late summer. I suppose this high master metal crafter would be acceptable for you, Kirbypowered? Any specific name?
I probably won't be posting an actual update until tomorrow sometime, though.
Err, about those migrants; they've arrived on the south-east edge of the map, isolated by the bridges at the trade entrance. Now, where is the lever(s) that operate these?
Post by: Teneb on October 06, 2011, 07:23:39 pm
Post by: Mego on October 06, 2011, 07:31:15 pm
I may look into that, but I don't think dwarves can actually pick up blood or vomit contaminants as they aren't actual items. I'm pretty sure just about every non-edible body material has been going into the blocks we've made (kobold muscle anyone?), so blood and vomit would have most likely shown up if at all possible. However, I could engineer a reaction that requires no reagents but produces a bucket full of dwarf blood, supposedly taken from the dwarf, and then a reaction that transfers blood from a bucket into blocks (of blood.) Unfortunately they would likely just melt into a puddle on the floor at room temperature, and I may not be able to change that besides making all blood solid, or generating a new world with a congealed blood material...
So the obvious thing to do is to do all of this for Battlefailed III and make a fortress entirely out of once-living materials. Bones, muscle, blood, vomit, ooze, etc.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 06, 2011, 08:22:07 pm
Redorf me as Deathsword III, if there's any available dorf. Don't care wich. Draft me into the military, no weapons.
Can do.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So the obvious thing to do is to do all of this for Battlefailed III and make a fortress entirely out of once-living materials. Bones, muscle, blood, vomit, ooze, etc.
I concur. Whenever this goes horribly wrong and a new world is generated (out of necessity) we will have the chance to implement all of the changes we desire to make it a true successor to Battlefailed.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 06, 2011, 08:36:13 pm
I think for Battlefailed III we'll need to actually make a dwarf statue out of body part blocks.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 06, 2011, 08:39:15 pm
And nothing bad happened because it wasn't Catalyst's Time yet. Trust me. When the fort finally goes to pot and she escapes properly; IT WILL BE GLORIOUS AND HILARIOUS.
Post by: Mego on October 06, 2011, 09:46:03 pm
Gah! Urist your new avatar hurts the eyes *clutches head*
EMBRACE THE DUALIITY. EMBRACE IIT. YOU WIILL BE ONE OF U2.
This post never contained any troll-grammar errors and any quotes that indicate that it did are treason. Any violators will be the next
Post by: Scaraban on October 06, 2011, 10:23:20 pm
Fix'dGah! Urist your new avatar hurts the eyes *clutches head*
EMBRACE THE DUALIITY. EMBRACE IIT. YOU WIILL BE ONE OF U2.
Post by: Mego on October 06, 2011, 10:34:15 pm
I volunteer for the STFO.
Fix'd.
Post by: Scaraban on October 06, 2011, 10:37:57 pm
Post by: Mego on October 06, 2011, 11:03:29 pm
Also, on that note, I'll probably start recording the three that we have next week. I may even go for writing an original work for Failcannon.
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 07, 2011, 01:11:09 am
Strangely enough, there are four (living) groundhogs submerged in 7/7s water underground. They were there the last time I looked at the save as well (couple years ago). Somehow this doesn't seem normal...
I had the same thing happen with Ledi when I finally dumped her crazy murderous ass into the sea - she lived for almost two seasons, unconscious at the bottom of the Blueness. I... guess it must be a glitch/older-version bug involving unconscious things and breathing/dying?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sounds like DuckThatQuacks has decided to be the terror of the fortress again. Call me crazy (oh wait, I AM, muahhahahahahahahaha I MANDATE 9 SWORDFISH BONE GOBLETS NOOOWWWW) but I'll take "stealing goblin trash" over "murdering half the fort in an unstoppable spree" any day.
Also, I love my door. Thanks, Mormota! Can you 'airlock' it to Catalyst in one of the lower tower rooms so that she can install it in her chambers? How is it that she's opening the gate, anyway? That part of the fort ought to be well away from her burrow -- though you mentioned she is in Safe House now - which was NOT, when I left the game, meant for her. There's one called "Catalyst's Cell" - much more restrictive. Safer. "Safe House" was one I set up for the other handful of survivors to hide from the goblins & trolls but still have food and access to levers.
How badly is Catalyst injured? I sincerely hope she survives - I'm starting to covet the honor of my dwarf being part of the eventual doom of Failcannon.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 07, 2011, 01:24:28 am
Strangely enough, there are four (living) groundhogs submerged in 7/7s water underground. They were there the last time I looked at the save as well (couple years ago). Somehow this doesn't seem normal...
I had the same thing happen with Ledi when I finally dumped her crazy murderous ass into the sea - she lived for almost two seasons, unconscious at the bottom of the Blueness. I... guess it must be a glitch/older-version bug involving unconscious things and breathing/dying?Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sounds like DuckThatQuacks has decided to be the terror of the fortress again. Call me crazy (oh wait, I AM, muahhahahahahahahaha I MANDATE 9 SWORDFISH BONE GOBLETS NOOOWWWW) but I'll take "stealing goblin trash" over "murdering half the fort in an unstoppable spree" any day.
Also, I love my door. Can you 'airlock' it to Catalyst in one of the lower tower rooms so that she can install it in her chambers? How is it that she's opening the gate, anyway? That part of the fort ought to be well away from her burrow -- though you mentioned she is in Safe House now - which was NOT, when I left the game, meant for her. There's one called "Catalyst's Cell" - much more restrictive. Safer. "Safe House" was one I set up for the other handful of survivors to hide from the goblins & trolls but still have food and access to levers.
How badly is Catalyst injured? I sincerely hope she survives - I'm starting to covet the honor of my dwarf being part of the eventual doom of Failcannon.
1: None of them are unconscious. I suspect someone of making them aquatic/amphibious (unlikely, and I can't spot the tag in their description in the save's raws...) at this point, because they also aren't 'drowning' on the wounds sceen. A couple have actually moved over the last 5 months, but are still close to that location...
2: Too late, the door has been set up. Suppose I could change that if it's mandatory... I have absolutely no idea when the door between her cell and the gatehouse directly adjacent got unlocked, because i specifically locked it when I unlocked the door into the room with the lever controlling it, which is how Catalyst was operating the gate to let Scaraban inside. I also have no way of knowing when Catalyst was put in the safe house burrow, as when I initially looked over the burrows it seemed that her cell and the safe house burrow were identical (I was lazy, ok?) and so didn't question why she shouldn't be part of them both. As I said the safe house was deleted though, so she's forced to respect only her cell burrow.
3: She's mostly fine. Only yellow wounds at worst; some skin and fat tearing in the combat logs. Can't have Erica Diagnose it though, as she'd probably stab you. Currently the only actual wound listed in her description is "Her left hand is dented." Everything else is just listed as various scars in the description. I wouldn't actually be that worried about the near future (1-2 years.) Something else will sneak up and kill you someday, but what resident of Failcannon ever died of infection?
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 07, 2011, 01:36:34 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
As for songs, and the epic - Sounds EXCELLENT I cannot wait to read them - if you both manage to do them. Which I encourage you to. I also have some ideas for Fail-fanon works. They will happen if the fort miraculously manages to persist to my next turn - as they would be written in-character.
1 - Ledi wasn't 'drowning' either - but you have shot my theory of unconsciousness being a related factor to shit. I've heard about similar bugs involving ground level critters spawning in caverns? But that doesn't explain the not-drowning. I've also heard about a bug where if you manage to embark with your dwarves underwater they are basically inert but also immortal, I think. If I am recalling that one right it might explain the groundhogs... or underwater-lake-hogs.
2 - We both know my mandates carry no power :P I'll leave the request out there if some future overseer wants to humor me, but I won't be offended if it doesn't happen - its a waste of time to please one player anyway. As for the burrows... I actually did the same thing at one point, and I set up those burrows in the first place. So don't feel bad.
3 - Well, actually I think had 10-20 deaths of infection on my turn, including the mighty Tupu and DuckThatQuacks. But hey, who's counting. As for Erica - BRING HER ON I killed her once before. Or anyway left her to an enraged, crippled Mekboy to finish off with HIS TEETH. Burned into my memory, that.
Glad to hear I'll make it though. I'm looking forward to the next time I wreak havoc.
... If I've been stripped, does that mean I can't train anymore?
Post by: Eric Blank on October 07, 2011, 01:49:27 am
... If I've been stripped, does that mean I can't train anymore?
Actually, i got you back on another squad along with all the other civies, so you can train... with them. At a different armor stand. You can't be your own squad captain anymore and couldn't be in a squad alone unless the captain of the squad dies off and other members were moved. And you DID leave all your gear outside you cell, however, so you'd be using whatever else is in your stockpiles besides the adamantine, including your sword. I'll think of a solution for this, eventually.
3 - Well, actually I think had 10-20 deaths of infection on my turn, including the mighty Tupu and DuckThatQuacks. But hey, who's counting. As for Erica - BRING HER ON I killed her once before. Or anyway left her to an enraged, crippled Mekboy to finish off with HIS TEETH. Burned into my memory, that.
Amazing how the three of us are all getting along swimmingly now, isn't it? Turns out murdering one another brings us closer together than ever before... So we can murder each other again during the next tantrum spiral/loyalty cascade, of course!
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 07, 2011, 01:54:04 am
Amazing how the three of us are all getting along swimmingly now, isn't it? Turns out murdering one another brings us closer together than ever before... So we can murder each other again during the next tantrum spiral/loyalty cascade, of course!
Keep your friends close... and traitorous insane demon-possessed psychopaths closer. Makes sense.
Post by: Mekboy on October 07, 2011, 10:47:24 am
Ode to Catalyst, sung to the tune of "Want you Gone" from Portal 2.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: kisame12794 on October 07, 2011, 11:00:02 am
Post by: Teneb on October 07, 2011, 11:10:21 am
But yes, an epic must be written whenever we finish this story.
Now to search for a suitable song...
Post by: Mekboy on October 07, 2011, 11:19:52 am
why is the song alllike this?
Oops. Put strikethrough instead of quote. Fixed now.
Post by: Dariush on October 07, 2011, 11:31:16 am
Post by: Eric Blank on October 07, 2011, 12:03:15 pm
Err, nevermind... on the fifth pass I actually found the controls...
Post by: LordSlowpoke on October 07, 2011, 12:04:03 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 07, 2011, 12:08:39 pm
We only recieved two migrants. One of them is known as Kirby, the other Deathsword III.
I'll be writing an update later today over the events of the summer (nothing...)
Post by: Teneb on October 07, 2011, 12:23:06 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Eric Blank on October 07, 2011, 02:40:36 pm
Post by: MagmaMcFry on October 07, 2011, 02:43:12 pm
In other news... None of you would happen to know how to weasel your way out of an American court trial over a car insurance ticket and avoid spending a shitload of money for no reason, would you?
But why wouldn't you want to spend shitloads of money for no reason?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 07, 2011, 02:47:44 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 07, 2011, 03:04:57 pm
Post Humus journal of Erica Wheelcircles the Legendary Die-r
Once again I haven’t bothered to write over a long period. I was actually rather busy directing work. Today is the 8th Limestone, Early Autumn, 539.
During the last half of Felsite, Catlalyst managed to escape her cell, unlocking the door somehow. The living were frightened when they finally spotted her; Gizogin and Darvi taking shots at her with their crossbows. I actually had them all stationed downstairs to give Catalyst the chance to escape back to her cell, but none of them did exactly as they were told. There was much running amok and catalyst hiding in various rooms on her way out in order to avoid conflict, being shot when she failed, but she eventually met Scaraban on the courtyard catwalks, who had been trying to steal one of her admittedly delicious longland seed roasts for his lunch. She wasn’t happy and they almost got in a fistfight, but she eventually left for her cell, where she was locked inside and has remained since. The living built a wall to contain her from fear. She did leave all of her military gear (and most of her clothing…) outside, where it remains. She’s been whining about wanting her pants back since then but nobody has had time to arrange for this. She’s also intent on conducting a meeting with one of the various liaisons waiting outside her doorway now.
The time since then has been uneventful for the living; everyones been carrying out their hauling duties and that Aussie-dwarf has even practiced a little farming and brewing. For the dead though, a grand scheme was concocted; Since we know that the coffins and slabs are divine symbols that keep most of the dead from even gathering energy to begin manifesting, we must destroy them when the time comes that there are no living in the fortress. Unfortunately this must also be performed by the living, so it’s a bit of a last-dwarf-out-slams-the-door thing.
The plan is to have all the dead, sane or not, entombed in the catacombs near the surface, and the much larger catacombs underground. I’m engineering a system that will cave in all of these on cue (from the control room), thus destroying all the coffins, bodies, and slabs, in turn releasing the slumbering dead to fight our last battle. There will of course be many too far gone or enraged to assist, but since they have coalesced no energy I feel that those of us currently free can deal with them rather easily and save the others. I intend to have it all linked to that artifact hematite lever that’s coincidentally linked to everything else that could possibly go wrong in this place. Should make for an eventful last day on Aluonra for the living, and probably set up a more energetic battlefield for us spirits.
I drew diagrams of this;
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I call it the Strategic Ghost Emitter System. As stated, we will need at least one living, sane, and functional dwarf to pull the lever, and probably the next couple years to set it up.
Work has begun by digging out the necessary components and removing and reinterring the dead around the fortress to ensure that all of us are at these locations, ignoring a very few outcasts. Migrants came recently and were put to work; a metalcrafter named Kirby and a woodcutter who bears the nickname Deathsword. I am aware of two other Deathswords, already dead, so for all purposes I’ve designated this one with three bars. Deathsword III has since been ordered to take up mining since Mormota was on break for the whole season and that Aussie-dwarf guy and Zasit, the woman I possessed, are rather slow miners.
Fall has been uneventful. The human caravan that arrived hasn’t been permitted inside (despite no ambushes slaughtering them…) so there was no chance to seize there goods. I expect the dwarven caravaneers, amazingly still operating in this even more dangerous world, might get a chance at it, though. And bring another liaison to waste our time… I should force them to work for us…
The dead mason Etur has been spending vast tracts of time with Catalyst, for whatever reason. They seem to like each other. Makes me wonder if the gods would permit ghosts to marry… Or will there be any gods when this is over? Lur made it seem as though there would be a shortage of deities, and spirits like us may be able to take their place. I should hope I survive the battle ahead...
In the meantime I and the spirit of Ledi have been playing with some living groundhogs we found mysteriously not drowning in a fully submerged tunnel, open to the ocean though they are actually a couple stories underground. I suspect Led or her goddess of death of causing this, but I can’t actually find any clues to show what’s going on. We can’t possess soulless or overly powerful beings, either way. They don’t even seem to mind that they’re inhaling only water. None of the other spirits had any comment on this. Arcangelsd hasn’t come down from his tower and shoos away anyone that wants to talk to him. Makes one wonder what the hell he could be doing.
Does… anyone else hear carnival music? No? I must be going insane…
Wait a minute, that's the sound of Darvi drowning as he tries to shut off the STFO... Welcome to the Palace of the Dead, Darvi. Please don't go insane. I'm gonna have to try something else...
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Well, the S-GES should be fully functional sometime during the next year, though getting the dwarves to move everything may be more of an issue. The next overseers' problem to ignore, really. I have absolutely no clue how to safely or productively continue the STFO, and am considering shutting it down for the moment to increase overall FPS, which is at 12, and stable. I'm rather proud of my processor, even though I'm trying to save enough money to replace it with a better one (per core, and hopefully with more cores.) RAM and video memory/processing seem to be my biggest issues lately.
The STFO is insanely deadly. It should lie along the path into the fort for invaders. Kirby successfully shut it down, but my fps hasn't increased. Oh well. Two accidental STFO related deaths/turn is enough...
Post by: Mego on October 07, 2011, 05:10:40 pm
Post by: Teneb on October 07, 2011, 05:45:27 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 07, 2011, 05:47:49 pm
If you don't get to make the STFO into a new siege-only entrance, I may try my hand on it once my turn comes around. How fast does it kill stuff anyway? (do run some tests with prisioners)
Well, really they'd die at whatever rate they drown, but walking across the power train towards it seems absolutely suicidal.
Post by: Teneb on October 07, 2011, 05:52:16 pm
If you don't get to make the STFO into a new siege-only entrance, I may try my hand on it once my turn comes around. How fast does it kill stuff anyway? (do run some tests with prisioners)
Well, really they'd die at whatever rate they drown, but walking across the power train towards it seems absolutely suicidal.
I guess the question I should have asked is: can it kill trolls before they try to wreck something?
Post by: Eric Blank on October 07, 2011, 06:03:28 pm
Also; would anyone consider torching the trash at the northern edge of the map to deal with as much of it as possible unnacceptable use of DFhack? I don't really want to be using DFhack at all, but that trash ought be dealt with somehow, and hauling it isn't feasible.
Post by: arcangelsd on October 07, 2011, 06:53:28 pm
WHAT
THEY SHUTTED OFF DARIUSH AND MYSELF MASTERPLAN
Darvi? The hell are you doing up there? What are you pointing at...
Ooooooohhh.. liberate all the ghosts of this fortress? THIS GIRL IS A FRIGGIN' GENIUS! Why didn't she ever told me her plan? Of course I could help! Yes yes! it only would require the adamantine emmiter to act as a psychic amplificator, in order to contact with every
Post by: Varnifane on October 07, 2011, 07:09:47 pm
In other news... None of you would happen to know how to weasel your way out of an American court trial over a car insurance ticket and avoid spending a shitload of money for no reason, would you?
You can usually spend a smaller sum to get a lawyer to deal with it for you.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 07, 2011, 07:23:08 pm
Heh, not a bad idea that. I was considering creating a power amplification station to supposedly permit the dead to possess more power, but your emitter actually would work. But we will also need more power flowing into it. Perhaps that could be arranged at a later date.Spoiler: raving mad man speak (click to show/hide)
In the meantime, we got more migrants! Need to let them in, so they'll have to deconstruct a wall since I can't figure out the operation of the main gate.
Also, I don't think I'll need a lawyer. Was thinking of going back to the clerk with proof of insurance and see if the trial is automatically cancelled, actually.
Post by: arcangelsd on October 07, 2011, 08:05:10 pm
Heh, not a bad idea that. I was considering creating a power amplification station to supposedly permit the dead to possess more power, but your emitter actually would work. But we will also need more power flowing into it. Perhaps that could be arranged at a later date.Spoiler: raving mad man speak (click to show/hide)
In the meantime, we got more migrants! Need to let them in, so they'll have to deconstruct a wall since I can't figure out the operation of the main gate.
Also, I don't think I'll need a lawyer. Was thinking of going back to the clerk with proof of insurance and see if the trial is automatically cancelled, actually.
Raving mad man? Thanks? xD
The lever that opens the orthoclase outside gates is just by the right side of the depot, at a corner!
Also, luck with your court trial!
Post by: Eric Blank on October 07, 2011, 08:32:11 pm
Raving mad man? Thanks? xD
The lever that opens the orthoclase outside gates is just by the right side of the depot, at a corner!
Also, luck with your court trial!
Thanks. That wasn't necessarily raving mad man speak i suppose, since it is as true as fiction can be. It was difficult to understand though.
The dwarves aren't necessarily keen on operating the levers, unfortunately.
We still have two new migrants. I would say it fair they're available to anyone who hasn't died this year or currently has a dwarf... A woodcutter, ordered to do all woodworking and burial and furniture hauling, and a mason doing all stoneworking duties and no hauling.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 07, 2011, 08:59:12 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The funny part is that these were originally bedrooms.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 07, 2011, 09:07:48 pm
Although if one thinks about it, they really are bedrooms, even now. Bedrooms for the Palace of the Dead.
By the way, Urist, did you ever check out those mods I uploaded? You were the first to respond and show interest, after all, but you never returned with any feedback... I'm asking because I'm considering what I'll need for the next update to them.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 07, 2011, 09:08:23 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The funny part is that these were originally bedrooms.
Well at least Dwarves are still getting some rest in them *rimshot*
Post by: rridgway on October 07, 2011, 10:09:11 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 07, 2011, 10:35:29 pm
You're so sweet. Why don't you just come in here so I can give you a hug.
... bring my pants.
Post by: Mego on October 07, 2011, 11:01:23 pm
Aw, Mekboy! A song for meeeee?
You're so sweet. Why don't you just come in here so I can give you a hug.
... bring my pants.
Only in Bay12 would this post be considered "normal".
Post by: Sinpwn on October 07, 2011, 11:06:18 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 08, 2011, 01:53:06 am
So, we're finally going to turn tipsy turvy, or have I been reading the posts wrong?I would have to say you've been misunderstanding the posts, yes. You see, in Failcannon tragedy does not directly correlate to closeness of our demise. However, the boldness of megaprojects may...
I still say the STFO is so much of a deathtrap that it's less dwarfy than it is suicidally masochistic...
At least mine doesn't passively kill dwarves within a 15 square radius of it's center(s) You have to pull the lever, and it occurs only once ignoring the ghosts. :P
The population has actually increased by three so far, regardless. Darvi and arcangelsd were both acceptable losses in the grand scheme of things. May their spirits, and the spirits of the bodies they may or may not have possessed, wander the halls eternally. And not be angry with me...
I would like to be dorfed as the new Mason, named Sinclair if possible.Got it. Wouldn't happen to be the second or third rendition, would it?
_______
Nothing much has actually happened since the update, unless you want me to start counting coffins erected/destroyed, bodies not yet re-interred, tiles mined, number of times Catalyst has complained about her missing sock and shoes or whatever she wants (she does have her pants, thank Armok.) or other such things.
Oh, I suppose it is worth noting that DuckThatQuacks (maniacally...) has gone and hidden a stack of 25 or so bronze bolts off the ancient corpse of a human pack animal. One can only hope their ethereal efforts to deal with the trash are as permanent and fps-saving as atom smashing or burning it...
And I changed the note on the main gate's lever to reflect more heavily upon the fact that this thing operates the main gates.
I am retiring for the night, though, having spent the last 2-3 hours on the TES:CS trying to make a decent Oblivion mod, only to be utterly enraged with the crash rate of the CS. If the editor for the new engine and the engine itself aren't 100% more stable then I will have to file a lawsuit as compensation for lost time, energy, and severe emotional trauma.
Spoiler: RAGE (click to show/hide)
Post by: arcangelsd on October 08, 2011, 07:13:24 am
Raving mad man? Thanks? xD
The lever that opens the orthoclase outside gates is just by the right side of the depot, at a corner!
Also, luck with your court trial!
Thanks. That wasn't necessarily raving mad man speak i suppose, since it is as true as fiction can be. It was difficult to understand though.
I just reread my post. I now know why it does look like a raving mad man ramblings. I feel sorry for that (I'm kind of a correct-writingness(¿?) xD nazi) I'm sorry for that xD
The STFO is all cool, brothers, is ALL cool. Even its side effects are cool! Given that is has thrown 5 dwarves to the sea and killed 4, it has effectiveness of 80%. For a simple sinkhole, I'd call it another victory for dwarven deadly engineering!
Post by: Dariush on October 08, 2011, 07:40:23 am
Well, as a deathtrap too, but for the invaders, not for the dorfs, damn it.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 08, 2011, 07:57:09 am
Goddammit, I designed the STFO to be used as an entrance, not as a deathtrap!
This is Dwarf Fortress. Anything we build can and will kill a fortress in the right circumstances
Post by: arcangelsd on October 08, 2011, 08:31:01 am
Goddammit, I designed the STFO to be used as an entrance, not as a deathtrap!
This is Dwarf Fortress. Anything we build can and will kill a fortress in the right circumstances
This is Failcannon. Everything is EXPECTED to fail. 'Nuff said.
Post by: Strategia on October 08, 2011, 11:16:01 am
I still say the STFO is so much of a deathtrap that it's less dwarfy than it is extremely dwarfy...
.....Do not get.
Post by: Kirbypowered on October 08, 2011, 04:04:35 pm
Good to see I survived turning the STFO off. :P Would've been a shame to die so soon after migrating to FailCannon, though not unexpected.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 08, 2011, 07:33:55 pm
So, once these guys leave, they will be taking with them 9-10k trash and leaving behind some military gear, metal bars, blocks, and booze. I understand we're in no shortage of anything, besides the wood they didn't bring us, but I don't exactly feel compelled to give them a 1000% profit margin either. I'm offering any native goods to them, though. Hopefully this will all attract plenty of
A full update will be coming along later tonight.
Post by: Tlc2011 on October 08, 2011, 09:01:55 pm
Not even Boatmurdered [i think] could last this long without a catastrophic battle between the fort and a flaming dwarf!
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 08, 2011, 09:06:22 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 08, 2011, 09:49:28 pm
I'm sorry Catalyst is such a whiner... though perhaps if someone didn't take all her possessions she'd be happier! (And less likely to knock down a door in a tantrum and go on a rampage...) But hey. More Fun for all this way :-D
Also, and not to inject any politics into the thread (please, let's don't, please. I like you all and I prefer it that way.) But... without any for or against implied, here's a photo I took from a certain public assembly today that really reminded me of our Fortress.
Spoiler: Occupy Failcannon? (click to show/hide)
Post by: Mego on October 08, 2011, 10:24:36 pm
What this means is that the sign must be preserved as long as the fortress is alive, and it must also be rigged to the self-destruct lever that will collapse the tombs and unleash the undead army.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 08, 2011, 10:41:47 pm
...What this means is that the sign must be preserved as long as the fortress is alive, and it must also be rigged to the self-destruct lever that will collapse the tombs and unleash the undead army.
...You're a freaking genius...
In other news: the update!
Post Humus journal of Erica Wheelcircles the Legendary Die-r
Lately I’ve been managing the trade with Stakud, the owner of the dwarven caravans. Bastard is shrewd, and none of us are even moderately skilled as traders.
The first big hurdle was getting everyone to stop work and go trade. Since the living still tend to ignore us, I had to possess Zasit and charge up to the top of the ramparts and look at the caravan I already knew was camped out there. After sprinting like an elite elven coward up, I had to do it all again in reverse, being even more difficult to avoid slipping and smashing
“Gizogin! What’s taking so long? The traders have been up there twiddling their thumbs for a week, waiting on you. You’re the only dwarf here who knows anything about dealing with traders, and we can’t afford to let this go poorly!”
“Lay off you old hag; I’m legally assured a certain amount of food, booze, and time each year for recreation. There’s nothing saying I can’t take it now, nor that I’m legally obligated to do anything during recreational periods. I didn’t eat dinner last night anyway and was feeling a little dry. I’ll get around to it.”
Bastard decided to spend all 200 hours of it in one sitting. When I asked again he pulled the “non-specific recreational periods” clause on me as well. Needless to say, I fired him. I plan to have Zasit depict the event in a statue of her striking a menacing pose as he weeps, with the newly appointed broker, Kirby, in the back jumping with joy.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Of course we had to take a week off with Kirby to try to show her some good ways to deal with the traders, before she was actually ready to go out there and do business. Once begun, it went… Acceptably. Nobody was particularly pleased with the trading, though, and I stepped in for Kirby’s conscience when she started slipping;
“You want HOW MUCH for three asses?”
Very confused Stakud; “Uhh... Face value, with 75% extra profit. I can’t just give them away, you know. Bathing in magma with a pissed off cave bear is probably safer than running a wagon train through these cursed lands. It costs enough to pay the guards and hire new merchants to replace the ones who quit the instant they’re on safe ground, and I of course expect to retire, alive, some day.”
“And WE live here. We absolutely must have living livestock, food and drink, and weapons. I know all we have to offer is old clothes from the deceased, but come on! It’s not that hard to sell them, is it?”
“More than you would know. The next biggest thing your paying for is overtime for the liaisons that I hired to take the paperwork every year. Where are they? Dead?”
“Well, no… The mayor hasn’t had time to deal with them yet.”
“Ah. Legally guaranteed annual recreational periods?”
“Uhh… Sure. Something like that. I would suggest you simply not hire them. We’re rather fed up with offering your employees permanent unofficial retirement.”
“If you knew anything about the Led, you’d know that she wanted as many dwarves stuffed into this shack as possible, and that any laws involved with that, like the ones governing my actions, expire after 20 years, and must be renewed as a whole. The last thing she mandated before the city was destroyed by demons was to tack on renewal of all other contracts to that package, and forbid export of wood for an 11 year period, strangely. The surviving lawmakers throughout the nation are still operating on her word, though. Whole world really has gone to hell in the greater picture… Wars everywhere, the demons that escaped ravaging dwarven fortresses throughout the home range and down in the human and elf villages. A good chunk of the populace of this half of the continent is spread out through the wilderness at this point.
Anyway, you were looking to buy these -fine- asses? I’ll cut you a deal; I’ll take face value with 10% profit, and my pick of the trash in this pile over here.” *gestures to a pile of trash*
“Finally! I’ll take it.” *chisels approval onto slab*
“Thanks. Pleasure doing business with you.” *snicker*
As it turns out, that pile of trash was the entirety of what we had prepared to offer as trade. Cunning bastard lead me right into a trap with the small talk... You should have seen the bill on the steel gear! Dear Armok it would make a god soil their loincloth to make such profit! Of course I had left Kirby to deal with it herself in my anger…
Trade concluded, we had lost around 10k in trash to the tyrant. There was no sense of ethereal possession about him, but I still suspect him of being a spy for Led. I’m currently searching for a law that would give me some authority over the liaisons. Led or dead, a dwarf has his rights, and we can’t just order them around without good reason.
Progress on the S-GES has been slow the last month or two due to everyone being involved with trading and taking their recreational time to enjoy the relatively fresh food and expensive booze. Zasit actually remembered what I wanted done for the upper catacombs. It’s been completed; Scaraban even finished hooking it up this morning. The Dead Dwarf Storage section is only around 3/7 of the way dug out, however.
Speaking of the dead, Etur the ghostly mason hasn’t left catalyst for even an instant this season. Makes one wonder whom she’s actually been ‘conducting meetings’ with, don’t it? Can’t blame her though, knowing that ¾ of the living are female. Now if only we could find her shoes and toss them up on the roof… The other spirits have been lazing around or simply asking me about progress lately, no real input. even Cheeze and DuckThatQuacks(Maniacally) have been floating around bored.
Those damn groundhogs still perplex me. Will I ever figure out what’s keeping their pitiful selves alive? Find out next time on Dwarf Fortress: Failcannon!
Spoiler: Groundhogs! (click to show/hide)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Damn! Why do I always press post instead of preview?!
Heh. I had seriously considered drawing bouncin' dorf jubblies on Kirby in that sketch, since Kirby is one of the 9 women out of the fortress of 12.
On a more serious note, who votes the string of liaisons waiting on Catalyst get runesmith'd into submission as permanent residents?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 08, 2011, 10:55:14 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 08, 2011, 11:00:49 pm
Although 4 new dwarves would mean a 25% increase in work force.
Post by: Gizogin on October 08, 2011, 11:06:03 pm
I love how I'm just doing my own thing, whether it's charging into a room full of FBs or completely shirking my responsibilities as a broker.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 09, 2011, 12:16:53 am
Post by: Eric Blank on October 09, 2011, 12:51:23 am
Oh.... Uhm... Welp. What was that about Catalyst being released into the fort to cause mayhem? :P
While I was busy managing other things and a path to Catalysts' cell was momentarily open to permit the construction of an airlock, Dariush came in and shot off her entire quiver into Catalyst as she slept, seriously maiming her and leaving a large number of bolts stuck in her lower body and upper legs (I don't think she thought much good of Catalyst's groin... How do I always notice these things?!), and a few shots to the upper body, all in all destroying many major organs. Then she walked away.
I take this as the merciless Avenger's vengeance on her for escaping when she was running amok earlier this year...
Mebtob, the as-of-yet-un-nicknamed migrant, is attempting to recover wounded, but we all know how the traitors scare the poor souls like her.
It doesn't look like she's going to make it...
Oh dear Armok it gets worse! The idiot came in, picked her up, and immediately cancelled the recover wounded job in fear, still carrying her to the other side of the room before dropping her. Then hacks her head off with her axe and all the liaisons leave. Gizogin is elected mayor... I am suspicious.
I am an idiot. :-[
Mebtob isn't listed as an enemy/former member of either the civ or local government, but I'm locking her in just in case... There's something wrong with the liaison that's in there with her; she's on the second story running back and forth in a manner reminiscent of civie terror. Don't think she has LOS to Mebtob anyway, and Mebtob is ignoring her.
Should Mebtob be possessed by Catalyst's angry ghost as a form of succession? :o
Still don't know if she's considered a traitor...
Following her death; the arrival of a forgotten beast:
Spoiler: Yara Intensedrunken. Very dwarfy. (click to show/hide)
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 09, 2011, 01:33:15 am
EXCELLENT.
Also, good job locking her in just in case. Sometimes the loyalty-shift really does seem to just jump randomly whenever there's a death or attack, sometimes with delay. Erica, for example was definitely NOT in combat, and nowhere near combat, and it had been at least a week since the last exchange of blows.
Spoiler: I recommend... (click to show/hide)
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 09, 2011, 01:50:01 am
Post by: Ieb on October 09, 2011, 01:56:09 am
Post by: Kirbypowered on October 09, 2011, 12:43:08 pm
It's a shame Catalyst had to die in such a not horribly turmoil inducing way. I am still hoping that someone gets to be a traitor from this, though. We need some death and destruction what with such a high population. What are we at? 16-20 dwarves now? Unbelievable.
Post by: Mekboy on October 09, 2011, 01:04:26 pm
Post by: da_nang on October 09, 2011, 01:09:03 pm
Bloody treeloving cleanliness maniacs. Always cleaning away all the fun and hiding it under the rug.
Post by: Dariush on October 09, 2011, 01:13:22 pm
Post by: Kirbypowered on October 09, 2011, 01:22:14 pm
Y-y-you...Yy-y-you... You traded away... Th-the... THE CRAP?! The ever-holy and omniscient crap that has been one of the Six Pillars of Failcannon?! YOU FUCKING HEATHENS, ALL OF YOU.I-I was possessed! It wasn't my doing, I swear! And here I thought trading would be a safe job...
Post by: Gizogin on October 09, 2011, 01:27:26 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 09, 2011, 03:11:27 pm
And here I thought trading would be a safe job...
Safe? Here? You need help.
Post by: Kirbypowered on October 09, 2011, 03:49:12 pm
Well, I meant safe in comparison to...we're all screwed. Just being a bookkeeper is dangerous business here.And here I thought trading would be a safe job...
Safe? Here? You need help.
Post by: Gizogin on October 09, 2011, 03:54:56 pm
Fixed that for you.Well, I meant safe in comparison to...we're all screwed. JustAnd here I thought trading would be a safe job...
Safe? Here? You need help.being a bookkeeperexisting is dangerous business here.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 09, 2011, 04:28:40 pm
We need some death and destruction what with such a high population. What are we at? 16-20 dwarves now? Unbelievable.
A grand total of 11 :P The liaisons are still here, though.
And I still managed to keep a net growth in population!
And we need more useless crap to fill the place up now that it's all been traded away. I mean, what sort of self respecting fort has FPS in double-digits?Hah! What was traded away wasn't even half of what's within just 5 tiles of the depot. With just 11 working dwarves (who felt no desire to spend more than 5% of their time actually hauling to the depot, instead just idling there on it) there's no hope to ever actually deal with the trash. Especially the crap at the north edge. I would still suggest burning it away.
In more neutral (bad?) news, neither Mebtob (now Catalyst) nor Dariush have become traitors. I suspect this is because Catalyst was an enemy of both the civ and local government. The new Catalyst gets the living facilities in the Cell, for the moment, but is running around as normal. The liaisons seem to be completely insane, despite not being explicitly labelled as stark-raving-mad.
The Ghosts of Twobeard and Etur are still following 'Catalyst'. They all have strange tastes...
Oh dear... It appears that the liaisons have gone utterly bonkers, even berserk!
Post by: arcangelsd on October 09, 2011, 05:32:45 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 09, 2011, 06:12:22 pm
Today's update should be the last.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 09, 2011, 08:00:54 pm
Post by: Teneb on October 09, 2011, 08:47:43 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 09, 2011, 09:50:13 pm
Cant you lock the liasons in somewhere and let them sort themselves out?
I've tried to catch them while they're in a room with a lockable door, but thus far have failed. The two remaining appear as intent as ever on meeting with Gizogin as our new mayor...
Er... The update should be along shortly.
Post by: Mego on October 09, 2011, 10:04:53 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 09, 2011, 10:41:41 pm
8th Opal, Late Winter 539.
Things have gone swimmingly lately, no violence, no tragedy, not even any major delays in construction. Hard to believe we’re actually in Failcann- Oh Armok, who’s screaming?
The flying +Bronze Bolt+ strikes the Traitorous Mayor in the lower body, tearing the muscle and bruising the guts through the cave spider silk trousers!
The flying +Bronze Bolt+ strikes the Traitorous Mayor in the left upper leg, tearing the muscle through the cave spider silk trousers!
The flying +Bronze Bolt+ strikes the Traitorous Mayor in the right upper leg, tearing the muscle and chipping the bone through the cave spider silk trousers!
So on and so forth with the groin shots for about 3 pages, a couple hits to the upper body…
The Traitorous Mayor screams like a little girl and returns to sleep!
Dear Armok; Dariush just waltzed in and started shooting at Catalyst while she slept! Oh the dwarfanity! I’ll have to get someone to help her!
I found Mebtob and telepathically convinced her to go get Catalyst and bring her to the hospital, but halfway to Zasit to prep for surgery I was waylaid by more screams, this time from Mebtob. When I made it back I found her running in circles in the stockpiles carrying Catalyst, screaming at the top of her lungs while staring right at Catalyst. She then promptly dropped Catalyst on the floor, and cleaved her head off with her axe. Perhaps an insane woodcutter isn’t a great option for medical staff…
Suddenly, Catalyst’s angry ghost appeared from her own decapitated head and glared straight into the eyes of a now deathly-pale Mebtob. They screamed in unison, one in rage and the other from shear unadulterated terror, and Catalyst’s ghost flung herself deep inside the mind of the now thoroughly soiled woman, who quickly began gripping her head and stumbling around shrieking for a good minute before finally collapsing in a heap on the floor. She stood, and turned to look upon spirit of Erica with eyes of mischievous evil, and gestured for her to follow… And the liaison making a puddle in the corner finally starts running around like a maddwarf.
My conversation with Catalyst was… interesting… I only wish I could have had the strength to both possess someone and completely subdue their soul immediately after death. Mebtob is in a new form of hell now, tortured within her own head for however long Catalyst remains in control, and I suspect Dariush will soon be defining an all-new form of pain to describe her experience as well, despite me telling her to stand down… She’s gone to bathe. But what’s that? An election, already? How the hell is this justified?
Gizogin stood upon the
“I thank you all for electing me mayor, following the completely shocking and unexpected death of our beloved Catalyst, which I had nothing to do with whatsoever. I promise you that, even in these hard times we face, I will not do anything whatsoever to help you. I mean seriously, I have no sense of responsibility whatsoever. I don't know whose idea it was to nominate me, but it was probably a bad idea.”
The crowd quickly dispersed. That Aussie Dwarf everyone ignores was looking rather pleased with something, but Zasit’s expression already every bit as displeased and embarrassed as the one Erica would have put upon her face if she were currently possessing her. They spoke telepathically:
“Zasit! What’s going on? Catalyst hasn’t even been buried yet! How have we had time for an election?!”
“Huh? Gizogin said she was found dead this morning and buried downstairs. When did she really die?”
“She hasn’t been dead for but 5 minutes! Didn’t you hear the screaming? Dear Armok how couldn’t you?!”
“Well, yeah… I just thought that was that ghost friend of hers wailing about it…”
“Nope. That was mostly Mebtob, though. She killed Catalyst after Dariush shot her up.”
“What? But they were the only two to vote for Gizogin, which outdid me and Mormota… You think they set thi-”
“Of course they did! There isn’t shit we can do about it now, but Catalyst may be out for revenge anyway. Oh, by the way; Catalyst took possession of Mebtob. That was the third round of shrieking. Now scoot over I need to do something before you get too involved with-”
“No. Go find someone else to be your bitch. I’m on my break.”
I can’t believe it… She really just told me to get lost… I thought we were friends… How the hell am I supposed to get someone to open the gates now? We need those liaisons gone, and I’ve been using too much energy trying to be omniscient to possess someone without their willing it.
And so the ghost of Erica sat and moped for a little over a week before Erica paid her any attention. It was at that point that a frothing, insane bone doctor came running out of the stockpiles and charged after that Aussie dwarf that nobody ever cared enough about to learn the name of.
ThatAussieDwarf cancels Drink: Interrupted by bone doctor.
The bone doctor was now covered in a mouth-full of booze.
“WHERE IS SHE!? WHERE IS THE DEMON?! CLEANSE THE FILTH! BRING HER TO ME!”
The bone doctor beats the crap out of her!
Gizogin arrives, and fires at the bone doctor!
ThatAussieDwarf cancels Receive Ass Kicking: interrupted by Kill Stealing Bitch.
ThatAussieDwarf strikes the bone doctor in the head with her pick, and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The flying bronze bolt sails harmlessly through the now-empty head-space, impacting the wall and chipping the engraving!
Gizogin smashes the steel crossbow on her thigh, warping the steel, shredding the string, and bruising the thigh’s muscle.
Meanwhile at the other end of the fortress, under Erica’s supervision;
The Ethereal Engraver cancels Be Dead: too insane.
The Ethereal Engraver has gone stark raving mad!
The Ethereal Engraver possesses the peasant-liaison.
The peasant-liaison has fallen into the sea and drowned!
Spoiler: Dead Dorf Row. (click to show/hide)
That was fairly amusing. With Zasit once again willing to let me perform the necessary activities of running the fortress, I can… Sit here and do nothing. It’s the 18th Opal 539, I have 10 days left to run the fortress before the elections demand a new overseer (funny considering we have a mayor position…), and I can neither think of a single task to request nor do anything to speed up progress on the S-GES, since the entire workforce is involved with it. I suppose I should go grab a drink and consider my exit notices for the next overseer. Then I will bid farewell to my position in this fortress, and hopefully stay on Zasit’s good side.
Overseer’s exit notice: 28th Obsidian 539.
Congratulations on winning the elections, Overseer. I’m sure you feel the need to celebrate, but I’m also certain that any such celebrations must be brief, as your term begins here, and your personal success – and survival – depends entirely upon the intellectual and physical efforts you apply to your work. I cannot stress this enough, so I simply won’t. Contained herein are the orders that I feel are necessary to relay to you, that are now your responsibility to complete as much as they were mine.
Firstly; the removal of all burial districts and subsequent transplant into the upper catacombs and Dead Dwarf Storage area are to be continued. This project was titled the S-GES, or Strategic Ghost Emitter System. It’s purpose is obvious; release a shit-ton of ghosts into the fortress on cue. These ghosts will then terrorize everything living within the fortress or in a 3 square mile radius around it, and subsequently do battle with the forces of Queen Led. DO NOT pull the hematite lever, hereafter dubbed the “Big Red Button” in the closet off the south east corner of the control room, unless destruction of the fortress is already absolutely guaranteed. The reason being that the dead will attempt to assimilate survivors into their number, all living, for all eternity. Diagrams for future completion are contained below.
Should the fortress fall, and this system not be engaged, then all worlds are doomed to ten thousand years of misery under the rule of the Goddess of Death. Failcannon is the end of the road, all that is left.
Spoiler: The Upper Catacombs – Completed. (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: The Dead Dwarf Storage Area. (click to show/hide)
Please search the fortress thoroughly for any coffins I may have missed, tear them down and reinter the dead in the Dead Dorf Storage area.
Next on the list of projects is rationalizing the fortress layout. During my reign I forbid many doorways and walled off many paths into areas of the fortress we no longer use which and have no short term purpose. This has helped greatly in keeping the dwarves in line and their minds on track. If you see it necessary to use them, then by all means do, but please lock down as much as possible.
Now, there were notes on the STFO around here somewhere, but I fail to locate them and thus couldn't tell you how best to continue that project. Essentially, all you need to do to turn on the lowest pump level is construct a horizontal axle along the power transmission at sea level. However, that same power transmission catwalk is forbidden as an accessway due to the extreme dangers of walking into the flow of water out of the STFO. Please, use the overhead walkways and staircases. The next part of the project should be a second level of pumps, in a tighter circle under the currently existing ring, and a third below that, making excavating the ocean floor possible. This project will likely take two years or so to complete.
Furthermore, I recently recieved word from an outside source that an engineer by the name of Mekboy, accompanied by Andreus, Mego, and possibly some other no-skill losers should be arriving sometime in the next year. You should already know that we desperately need migrants, so I expect you to let them in and divvy up their labors appropriately. Especially if there's anyone available for mining duty; don't have them hauling crap, they need to be mining, of course!
Finally, the dwarves don't need to worry about hauling random crap, but, according to the Labor Categorization and Definition Clause, they need to be designated as furniture haulers to construct basic buildings like coffins and slabs, and of course we need them to be interring the dead in said coffins. I undesignated several furniture stockpiles to prevent them tying to stockpile them and thus wasting time.
Good luck, and good riddance,
Save! (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=5045)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Didn't intend to post that yet, I was trying to navigate back to DF...
Post by: Mego on October 09, 2011, 11:02:00 pm
Furthermore, I recently recieved word that an engineer by the name of Mego should be arriving sometime in the next year.
You do realize you essentially doomed the fortress to fall at my hands, right?
Dangit, hit post instead of preview. Could you also toss the regen of the world my way?
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 09, 2011, 11:04:45 pm
And you can see the scheme, cant you? We all saw Gizogin fire at one of our own. Sure, my dwarf hacked it's head off, but he shot at it first...
Post by: Mego on October 09, 2011, 11:08:49 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 09, 2011, 11:10:53 pm
Hey Aussie bro let's plan the destruction of the fortress.
Get your own! My dwarf's scheme is so cunning and overly-complicated it's taken three disguises, two faked deaths and serious injuries, and it still hasn't quite reached fruition yet. It's also quite possible that my dwarf is now the only one that isn't possessed by the dead and damned.
Post by: Mego on October 09, 2011, 11:13:09 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 09, 2011, 11:15:21 pm
Furthermore, I recently recieved word that an engineer by the name of Mego should be arriving sometime in the next year.
You do realize you essentially doomed the fortress to fall at my hands, right?
Dangit, hit post instead of preview. Could you also toss the regen of the world my way?
Is That Aussie Dwarf okay?
And you can see the scheme, cant you? We all saw Gizogin fire at one of our own. Sure, my dwarf hacked it's head off, but he shot at it first...
Reread the last part of the post, please; accidentally hit post while navigating back to the DF window. Left some stuff out.
And yes, Mego, I've actually uploaded the parameter set already: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=5008
Just generate a world to your liking off that; the elevation file is forced, but biomes and their alignments are not.
AussieDorf is fairly healthy; the liaison was unarmed. Only new damage is a battered kidney. Still wandering around doing his job; Digging!
Scaraban, Kirby, and Sinclair are all mortal as well, and possibly even rrdgway, who has strangely done absolutely nothing interesting the entire year...Hey Aussie bro let's plan the destruction of the fortress.
Get your own! My dwarf's scheme is so cunning and overly-complicated it's taken three disguises, two faked deaths and serious injuries, and it still hasn't quite reached fruition yet. It's also quite possible that my dwarf is now the only one that isn't possessed by the dead and damned.
STOP NINJA'IN MY POST!
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 09, 2011, 11:24:57 pm
I regret what had to be done to Medtob, but after the repeated escapes it was clear that my efforts to contain the influence of Queen Led within my own form were failing, and drastic action was needed. Though once I would have considered it unthinkable to sacrifice one of our own, the stakes were too high to compromise, for either Medtob's life or my own petty morals.
Our individual lives mean nothing, so long as Ungegugath lives on. That is all that matters.
So far it seems my gambit was a success, and Led's mind-twisting power may indeed be banished from our fort at long last. If not... at least I am whole again. What is more... when she was inside my mind, I too saw inside hers. And from that, I learned - I learned... such things. And with that knowledge was I able to project my consciousness into this new form.
Led knew not what she did, when she brought the fight to our minds, to my domain. Now, she will have in me an enemy as implacable and as eternal as she herself. Led Shakeoars, you will learn to fear me.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 09, 2011, 11:32:12 pm
Took forever to upload...
So, how do you all think it went?
Post by: Mego on October 09, 2011, 11:33:05 pm
Alright, the save is up. It's already linked in the update.
Took forever to upload...
So, how do you all think it went?
The fortress is still standing, so pretty damn good.
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 09, 2011, 11:36:45 pm
Anyone agree it would be appropriate to use Runesmith to set the former Medtob-now-Catalyst's Intuition (and possibly Empathy? not sure) to something high to reflect the psychic mind now inhabiting his former shell? I leave it up to others and certainly won't insist.
I disagree, btw, that it was an anticlimactic end - I think a conflict (primarily over pants and/or socks, no less) that ended with another instance of carrying-wounded-turned-deadly-assault (turned psychic possession!) is just perfect.
Post by: Mego on October 09, 2011, 11:47:45 pm
I vote against using tools like RS and DFHack to cheat. That is undwarvenly. The fortress shall live and die of its own accord, with no external influences other than that bitch Led.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 10, 2011, 12:04:02 am
Enjoyed! :)
Anyone agree it would be appropriate to use Runesmith to set the former Medtob-now-Catalyst's Intuition (and possibly Empathy? not sure) to something high to reflect the psychic mind now inhabiting his former shell? I leave it up to others and certainly won't insist.
I disagree, btw, that it was an anticlimactic end - I think a conflict (primarily over pants and/or socks, no less) that ended with another instance of carrying-wounded-turned-deadly-assault (turned psychic possession!) is just perfect.
Thanks. I put a lot of time into this update.
I vote against using tools like RS and DFHack to cheat. That is undwarvenly. The fortress shall live and die of its own accord, with no external influences other than that bitch Led.
What he's suggesting isn't cheating, really; it would have no real affect on the game, being almost purely aesthetic. I support minor edits like this, really. After all, we aren't supposed to be able to turn bones (or muscle. or guts.) into blocks, but we've done so, with the main effect being aesthetic, but it did provide a large boon to our available building materials. What he is asking seems reasonable enough, so I'll say yes.
Now, what I was suggesting about burning the Northern Trash Heaps and permanently accepting the liaisons as citizens of Failcannon could be considered cheating. Nobody supported the gesture though so I did nothing. I actually didn't use any utilities during my term besides dwarf therapist when I was feeling lazy. Unbelievably lazy. I NEVER use it for anything.
Post by: Mego on October 10, 2011, 12:19:07 am
Oh no I sound like a creationist speaking out against genetic engineering.
Making blocks out of bone/muscle/guts isn't the same at all. That's just being creative.
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 10, 2011, 12:41:11 am
Random Insomniac Edit - I just noticed that in the initial posts for Battlefailed - before the fort was even named Battlefailed - it had been misspelled as a "Secession" fort.
Strangely prophetic of future fun?
Post by: Eric Blank on October 10, 2011, 12:57:20 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 10, 2011, 01:21:36 am
Post by: Ieb on October 10, 2011, 01:43:26 am
Post by: arcangelsd on October 10, 2011, 03:08:14 am
Post by: Karakzon on October 10, 2011, 03:16:22 am
Lots of practice for te next millatery monsters.
Post by: Gizogin on October 10, 2011, 07:10:48 am
I love how, when Gizogin got to be the mayor, every liaison just decided to go crazy. Gizogin, dude, the liaisons don't like you, it seems.I think it's more likely that, after seeing the way that I rose to power, they finally realized just how truly messed up this place is. They went mad from the revelation.
It's also quite possible that my dwarf is now the only one that isn't possessed by the dead and damned.Hey, I'm not possessed! I'm totally mortal and stuff. My continuing work on corrupting the very fundaments of nature (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=93728.0) is in no way a reflection on any supernatural activity, real or imagined.
I'm pretty sure I never actually asked to be on the turn list, so can I fix that now? I definitely want to try my hand at this madness, and it seems fitting now that I'm the mayor and stuff.
Post by: SethCreiyd on October 10, 2011, 10:12:58 am
Alright, the save is up. It's already linked in the update.
Took forever to upload...
So, how do you all think it went?
Extremely awesome:
- Still Alive
- Apocalyptic prophecy
- Horde of psychotic liaisons
- Desecrated/prepared the desecration of the sacred remains of hundreds of dwarves
- Great writing
All in all a splendid ☼turn☼
When the time comes to generate a new Aluonra, we should make sure to maximize demons, titans and night creature numbers. At the rate we're going, a future Windy World should be teeming with vampires, necromancers and restless spirits along with the usual forgotten beasts.
Post by: Teneb on October 10, 2011, 12:17:02 pm
can anyone give me a list of dorfins that need doing? (the one in the OP is outdated, I think)
Post by: arcangelsd on October 10, 2011, 12:35:43 pm
Grabbing the save, and holy magma it's big.
can anyone give me a list of dorfins that need doing? (the one in the OP is outdated, I think)
Andreus. But I'm not sure of what number, XIV or XV.
Post by: Teneb on October 10, 2011, 12:45:34 pm
EDIT: running at a stable 9 FPS. And carp, that's an awful ammount of clutter over on the north end of the map.
EDIT 2: Andreus XI, ghost has caused a fever on one of our miners. I found out he had a tomb assingned to him without his body in it. Assingned it to burial.
EDIT 3: Found out why the groundhogs refuse to drown. There is a tunnel above the one they are in filled with 1/7 water. They have innate swimming, and as long as there is less than (I think) 5/7 water above you, you can breathe. I considered flooding it completely, but I fear for the fps. Good thing the STFO seems to be offline
Post by: Mego on October 10, 2011, 05:32:56 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 10, 2011, 05:55:46 pm
Post by: Mego on October 10, 2011, 06:47:51 pm
Post by: Scaraban on October 10, 2011, 06:51:17 pm
Post by: Teneb on October 10, 2011, 06:54:54 pm
Post by: Mego on October 10, 2011, 07:17:59 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 10, 2011, 07:52:43 pm
Post by: Mego on October 10, 2011, 07:56:02 pm
However, if you add in Battlefailed, we win by a long shot. 23+17 = 40.
Post by: Gizogin on October 10, 2011, 07:59:40 pm
It's been on the brink of disaster for the entirety of its existence, without ever actually dying.
Post by: Mego on October 10, 2011, 08:06:58 pm
Even if you don't include Battlefailed (which you should), I don't think many fortresses can challenge Failcannon for resilience.
It's been on the brink of disaster for the entirety of its existence, without ever actually dying.
Failcannon, the eternal fortress. It simply CANNOT AND WILL NOT DIE. Not even loyalty cascades, FB hordes, a demon queen causing apocalypse to fall on the world, and thermonuclear catsplosions can kill this fortress. We have won Dwarf Fortress, my comrades.
If losing is fun, then what is winning?
Now that I've said this, Deathsword will inform us that he killed the fortress by pulling the wrong lever.
Another suggestion from the madman engineer-to-be: Hook up the ENTIRE FORTRESS to the self-destruct lever. Unleash both the undead army and the Forgotten Beast city on any who try to desecrate this land.
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 10, 2011, 08:11:43 pm
Post by: Mego on October 10, 2011, 08:25:17 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 10, 2011, 09:31:20 pm
We're at 23. The succession list says 28, but we've skipped 5 people.
However, if you add in Battlefailed, we win by a long shot. 23+17 = 40.
Actually I did count. I was speaking for Halltraded's record of 28.
Oh, and this made me F^&*!#% ECSTATIC.
Extremely awesome:
- Still Alive
- Apocalyptic prophecy
- Horde of psychotic liaisons
- Desecrated/prepared the desecration of the sacred remains of hundreds of dwarves
- Great writing
All in all a splendid ☼turn☼
When the time comes to generate a new Aluonra, we should make sure to maximize demons, titans and night creature numbers. At the rate we're going, a future Windy World should be teeming with vampires, necromancers and restless spirits along with the usual forgotten beasts.
Even though it's the only happy thought on the list at this point.
Party in the dining hall!
Ok, back to work!
Post by: Mego on October 10, 2011, 09:57:19 pm
Post by: EmeraldWind on October 10, 2011, 10:05:35 pm
In my mind, Aluonra is the official explanation for all the Night Creatures that have been and will be added. I mean, the story seemed to play out that way. It even contains plausible explanations for ghosts suddenly appearing.
Now you have a
Speaking of which, would it be too soon to start a succession game in Eric's alternate-universe Aluonra?
::) I think so. I think it would be best to wait for the next version and start with a fresh slate there. Especially since Failcannon continues to persist.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 10, 2011, 10:12:50 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 10, 2011, 10:36:57 pm
On a completely different note; should we write an Epic of Aluonra? What would be needed? Who would actually have time to write it, or would we be able to take turns writing chapters? Consider the google definition of epic, I suppose. A big-ass poem detailing the history, in this case, of a world and two very important fields of mortal and ethereal combat.
"And upon the cat walks of Battlefailed
the gods did do battle in glorious fashion.
But by the end of the hour a scant few stood
to witness the duel of Death and the Youth unbridled."
And when fools question what makes the fortresses of Aluonra so Epic, point them to the Epic of Aluonra.
Post by: Strategia on October 10, 2011, 11:17:18 pm
Post by: Mego on October 10, 2011, 11:37:03 pm
You do realize that only something like House of Leaves could describe the
Post by: rridgway on October 11, 2011, 12:07:16 am
Also, how exactly did a forgotten beast get outside, into the ocean?
Double also, my laptop is getting 25 FPS. Is that any good?
Post by: Mego on October 11, 2011, 12:25:26 am
my laptop is getting 25 FPS
ALL HAIL THE NEW KING!
Post by: Eric Blank on October 11, 2011, 12:27:26 am
And where is this forgotten beast you speak of?
Poor Deathsword must be having so much ‼FUN‼ right about now.
Post by: arcangelsd on October 11, 2011, 12:29:50 am
Is your laptop powered by dwarven water reactors? Oh, wait, STFO is down. Allright.my laptop is getting 25 FPS
ALL HAIL THE NEW KING!
Post by: Eric Blank on October 11, 2011, 12:43:27 am
Post by: rridgway on October 11, 2011, 12:49:40 am
25 is more than twice what I got on average! GIVE ME THAT LAPTOP!
And where is this forgotten beast you speak of?
Poor Deathsword must be having so much ‼FUN‼ right about now.
(http://i781.photobucket.com/albums/yy97/rridgway/ForgottenBeast.png)
I may have spoken too soon, upon reloading DF to get that image, it dropped to 15. It was definitely stable at 22-25 the last time I opened DF, however. Huh.
Post by: arcangelsd on October 11, 2011, 12:55:00 am
Post by: rridgway on October 11, 2011, 12:57:38 am
Meh. Relax. As the rest of its bethren, this one does nothing to us. We are scarier.
I guessed that. I'm just wondering how exactly it escaped the Ocean of Slime.
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 11, 2011, 02:25:40 am
Also, I hereby insist that we conscript such greats as Andreus and Seth.
Post by: arcangelsd on October 11, 2011, 03:03:54 am
I cannot possibly let a group-write happen without insisting that I be allowed to dip my pen.I'd really like to contribute to the writing, but sadly my writing skills are subpar. But I'd really love to draw something about Failcannon, so if anything needs to be drawn, I volunteer!
Also, I hereby insist that we conscript such greats as Andreus and Seth.
Post by: Varnifane on October 11, 2011, 11:02:37 am
Also, I would love to get in on the reboot.
Post by: kisame12794 on October 11, 2011, 11:23:30 am
Post by: Teneb on October 11, 2011, 11:58:54 am
Nothing but coffins right now.
Still in spring
Spoiler: my dwarf, and the god she worships (click to show/hide)
EDIT: might as well add a minor "introduction"
From a message engraved on the tombs of Failcannon:
I have been chosen to lead Failcannon for this year, for next year a new, proper overseer will arrive from the mountainhomes to lead us. Our chief medical dwarf, Erica, insists we have to make a new tomb for all our dead, and rig it to collapse and "relase their souls to fight the final battle against the tyranny of Led". Didn't she die some time ago? Not that it matters too much, I just need to find the lever that will collapse it and label it so it can easily be found when the time is right.
EDIT 2: Breaking news! While looking at notes to find the Failday lever, I found this:
(http://img.ie/a8332.jpg)
Attached to a lever. Should I pull it?
Post by: Darvi on October 11, 2011, 12:48:50 pm
That came out wrong.
Post by: Teneb on October 11, 2011, 12:54:06 pm
On other news: I can't find the big red button, so I made the Faillever instead. It should activate the Failday Device (formerly called S-GES). It also ensures the operator will be killed shortly after pulling.
EDIT: One, and just one, migrant has arrived. Welcome home Andreus XIII, The Endless.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 11, 2011, 12:55:56 pm
Here, i can get a screenshot with the minimap and z-level included, use that to help.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Heh. Clearly the other migrants will arrive later this year. Just waylaid by skelks is all :P
Post by: Teneb on October 11, 2011, 01:03:34 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 11, 2011, 01:07:38 pm
And remember diagonals don't support structures! I always forget that and collapse things early or try to channel out every last diagonal just to be sure it will work :P
Post by: Teneb on October 11, 2011, 01:19:11 pm
still digging out the big one.
Post by: Dariush on October 11, 2011, 01:22:22 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 11, 2011, 01:23:56 pm
Post by: Teneb on October 11, 2011, 01:29:54 pm
...decided to call the project "Failday Device". A dwarf named Andreus has arrived, claims to have been here before. I find that unlikely, the few that leave Failcannon never return.
In an emergency [such as the total obliteration of our fort (as unlikely as that sounds)] the Faillever is to be pulled, initiating Failday and, according to Andreus, causing a cataclysm that "will change all universes forever". I don't actually believe in that, but it helps keep us busy.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 11, 2011, 01:34:00 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Errr... Amended view: The old notes still apply!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Those black areas don't need dug because they will be cut off from everything else, but make sure there's nothing under them or the channeled spaces either so nothing is missed.
Fill in that big empty area with floors and let it collapse. It will give the FB's a route to the fort, and then to the surface :P
Post by: arcangelsd on October 11, 2011, 03:41:17 pm
EDIT 2: Breaking news! While looking at notes to find the Failday lever, I found this:
(http://img.ie/a8332.jpg)
I pulled it and nothing happened. I am sad.
Is the lever attached to the electrum bridge from which I threw your previous incarnation to the STFO.
I didn't know that it was also rigged to the entrance to the STFO. I just found it, doing nothing there, and used it.
Now, it explains why that damn bridge was always flinging people around ¬¬ xD
Post by: Mego on October 11, 2011, 05:49:16 pm
I cannot possibly let a group-write happen without insisting that I be allowed to dip my pen.I'd really like to contribute to the writing, but sadly my writing skills are subpar. But I'd really love to draw something about Failcannon, so if anything needs to be drawn, I volunteer!
Also, I hereby insist that we conscript such greats as Andreus and Seth.
I would like to see an artistic rendition of Stuzag, Battlefailed's pet.
Post by: arcangelsd on October 11, 2011, 06:20:18 pm
I would like to see an artistic rendition of Stuzag, Battlefailed's pet.I cannot possibly let a group-write happen without insisting that I be allowed to dip my pen.I'd really like to contribute to the writing, but sadly my writing skills are subpar. But I'd really love to draw something about Failcannon, so if anything needs to be drawn, I volunteer!
Also, I hereby insist that we conscript such greats as Andreus and Seth.
There goes my big mouth (¿?). Sorry if weird, but I'm falling asleep. Stuzang, huh? I'll search for its descrition and draw it tomorrow.
(http://mxdcorp-radio.com/dwarf/Battlefailed/514/514_35.png)
Stoneflys are just weird.
Post by: Mego on October 11, 2011, 07:35:09 pm
Post by: rridgway on October 11, 2011, 07:44:48 pm
Another doomsday plan: Hook up the doomsday lever to supports that will cause cave-ins and unite Failcannon and Battlefailed when the universe dies. If I remember correctly, someone made a passageway to the Ocean of Slime around 30 pages ago.
But first, build an exact replica of Battlefailed underneath Failcannon. Attract Stuzang to the fort.
Post by: Mego on October 11, 2011, 09:29:26 pm
Post by: Dariush on October 12, 2011, 11:21:49 am
Now, it explains why that damn bridge was always flinging people around ¬¬ xDUh. That bridge is actually 3x1. You're probably thinking about The Crusher (did I even build it in this fortress?...)
Post by: Teneb on October 12, 2011, 01:26:22 pm
Nothing notable going on in the fort, aside from most of the grazers dying of hunger.
EDIT: I'm also tempted to make a video showing the fort and the
Post by: kisame12794 on October 12, 2011, 02:19:22 pm
Post by: Teneb on October 12, 2011, 02:35:01 pm
Dariush that was Protalpreists, now Flash freeze. Deathsword DOOOOOO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
Fraps refuses to record DF. Currently thinking of an alternative
Post by: arcangelsd on October 12, 2011, 02:51:13 pm
Nothing notable going on in the fort, aside from most of the grazers dying of hunger.
We still do have grazers? O.O
I was spammed with "Animal has died of hunger" back in my turn, now nearly four years ago!
Post by: Teneb on October 12, 2011, 02:54:57 pm
Nothing notable going on in the fort, aside from most of the grazers dying of hunger.
We still do have grazers? O.O
I was spammed with "Animal has died of hunger" back in my turn, now nearly four years ago!
More keep arriving with the few migrants.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 12, 2011, 03:39:06 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on October 12, 2011, 05:08:19 pm
Post by: Teneb on October 12, 2011, 05:39:51 pm
We're still getting migrants?
One-migrant waves, but yes. Still in late spring however, so I can't speak for the other seasons.
Post by: Mego on October 12, 2011, 07:39:13 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 12, 2011, 07:44:18 pm
It's not recurring is it? :o
Post by: Mego on October 12, 2011, 08:31:25 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 12, 2011, 08:40:19 pm
Post by: Mego on October 12, 2011, 09:20:33 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 12, 2011, 11:51:06 pm
Took long enough that I had the chance to regen anyway. Now you can have your vanilla.
Here you go: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=5056
Post by: Strategia on October 13, 2011, 08:30:03 am
Interesting development: I caused a kernel panic while trying to gen Aluorna v2.
It's the multiversal disruption that Ura and Led created, spilling over into our world.
Post by: Mego on October 13, 2011, 07:11:38 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 13, 2011, 10:40:44 pm
Now where's Deathsword...
Post Humus Journal of Erica Wheelcircles the Legendary Die-r
Eureka! I've figured it out! How the water reactors work! You see, the very thought of such a stupid concept causes the trees to rotate in their graves as much as it does any dwarven physicist, and since the trees are part of the waterwheels, the ethereal energy that is collected by the dead from other sources like light or radiated heat is released by the "lunacy reaction" and becomes rotational energy to power the pump, spurring an even more tremendous "lunacy reaction" from the trees, providing enough rotational energy to meet the needs of most dwarven machinery. The dead seem to become heat sinks at this point though. Perhaps heat has 'pressure' and attempts to evenly distribute itself throughout the space that is now being constantly drained of heat?
Wheelcircles was a rather prophetic name, as it turns out. The living seem rather concerned by my body levitating above the ground as it rotates rapidly. Here's to hoping nobody tries to connect it to a pump and rips my arm off.
Still no idea how trees can produce this reaction though, since they neither have souls nor any intellect whatsoever. Perhaps this natural force elves worship directly influences them and is itself dumbfounded by our idiocy?
Post by: JoshBrickstien on October 14, 2011, 01:20:51 am
Edit: Just saw the FPS reports. Might as well throw me on the end of the list. If we make it that far.
Post by: Mekboy on October 14, 2011, 11:47:13 am
I think I'll have another go.
Could I please be put on the waiting list?
Post by: Eric Blank on October 14, 2011, 12:30:41 pm
Yesterday I purchased a new motherboard and processor that claims and is benchmarked to outperform my current one several times over. The motherboard will also support the video card I got a couple years ago that simply isn't supported by my current one. My capacity for entertainment should skyrocket exponentially, assuming I don't have to actually get another video card, since the motherboard doesn't have an onboard video processor.
Post by: Teneb on October 14, 2011, 12:41:25 pm
Post by: MagmaMcFry on October 14, 2011, 03:06:49 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on October 14, 2011, 03:53:33 pm
What happens if the world runs out of FBs?
Then the Failcannon dwarves would be the new most feared beings of Aluonra
Post by: Ieb on October 14, 2011, 03:56:26 pm
Because a wizard did it, or the Queen, or something.
Post by: arcangelsd on October 14, 2011, 04:04:47 pm
By that time the story made up by you people would have also resulted in severe creature RAW modifying leading to various mutant dwarf castes, each more horrifying than the last and most likely also a hostile megabeast.
Because a wizard did it, or the Queen, or something.
That'd be cool. Stop giving us ideas. No, seriously.
Post by: Gizogin on October 14, 2011, 04:10:19 pm
Post by: Ieb on October 14, 2011, 04:14:15 pm
At least I'm like 99% sure that adding castes doesn't do anything special, except it'd need new dorfs to show up in order for 'em to be of the new speshul classes.
Which may or may not randomly burst in flames.
Post by: Gizogin on October 14, 2011, 04:17:55 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on October 14, 2011, 04:19:23 pm
Oh, if I had anything to do with it, everything else would be in flames. It also wouldn't be random. It'd be completely under my control, and it would doom anyone else who tried to harness it.
Now we know what we have to do for Battlefailed III. Or Failcannon II xD
Post by: Mego on October 14, 2011, 05:38:30 pm
That's pretty sad. And can't be upgraded? RAM is fairly cheap, anyway.
RAM is cheap, but I am cheaper.
Oh, if I had anything to do with it, everything else would be in flames. It also wouldn't be random. It'd be completely under my control, and it would doom anyone else who tried to harness it.
I like this guy.
Now we know what we have to do for Battlefailed III. Or Failcannon II xD
Flaming dorfs and blood fortresses? I am in.
Post by: Teneb on October 14, 2011, 05:43:33 pm
Now we know what we have to do for Battlefailed III. Or Failcannon II xD
Flaming dorfs and blood fortresses? I am in.
We might as well add exploding dorfs/pets while we're at it.
Blood, bone and vomit fortresses. Weren't I busy placing every corpse in their place I'd build a big bone monument. Also, why is there a "HUNK' (or "HONK") channeled and filled with water in the terrain in front of the fort?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 14, 2011, 05:51:19 pm
Post by: Mego on October 14, 2011, 06:04:29 pm
Blood, bone and vomit fortresses. Weren't I busy placing every corpse in their place I'd build a big boner monument. Also, why is there a "HUNK' (or "HONK") channeled and filled with water in the terrain in front of the fort?
honk HONK honk HONK honk HONK
MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS tHaTs WhAt
Also ftfy
Post by: JoshBrickstien on October 14, 2011, 06:39:40 pm
Post by: Mego on October 14, 2011, 07:11:12 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 14, 2011, 07:13:30 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 14, 2011, 07:37:02 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 14, 2011, 07:56:08 pm
Then the Failcannon dwarves would be the new most feared beings of Aluonra
I already have nightmares about several of them.
Edit Aaand.... now I will have nightmares about this. Thanks Eric.
... keeping it just barely alive, like a young woman in my sexy torture dungeon.
Post by: Teneb on October 14, 2011, 08:03:05 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on October 14, 2011, 08:03:43 pm
Then the Failcannon dwarves would be the new most feared beings of Aluonra
I already have nightmares about several of them.
Who, of those that have played after your turn, you included, don't?
Well, we are achieving nightmare fuel in RL. That's good.
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 14, 2011, 08:11:41 pm
And I could get behind the dwarf-castes idea I guess... Maybe each player adds a new one at the end of their turn, not announcing what it is exactly (nothing too complicated so we know it doesnt, y'know, totally break the game) and we excuse the bizarre migrants trickling in as the poor hapless results of Demon Queen Leds horrific sorcerous experiments?
Post by: Teneb on October 14, 2011, 08:16:53 pm
I vote "Battle-Fail-Cannon 1.5"
And I could get behind the dwarf-castes idea I guess... Maybe each player adds a new one at the end of their turn, not announcing what it is exactly (nothing too complicated so we know it doesnt, y'know, totally break the game) and we excuse the bizarre migrants trickling in as the poor hapless results of Demon Queen Leds horrific sorcerous experiments?
If we get enough people to agree with this, I may start this this very turn
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 14, 2011, 08:22:29 pm
Also, regarding the turn list and recent requests - I notice it hasn't been updated in a while, and just wanted to make sure the request I made a while back isn't lost.
Post by: Teneb on October 14, 2011, 08:23:23 pm
said ghost is classified as a "sadistic ghost"
EDIT: I'm also leaving a trap for whomever comes next.
Post by: Mego on October 14, 2011, 08:28:50 pm
I vote "Battle-Fail-Cannon 1.5"
And I could get behind the dwarf-castes idea I guess... Maybe each player adds a new one at the end of their turn, not announcing what it is exactly (nothing too complicated so we know it doesnt, y'know, totally break the game) and we excuse the bizarre migrants trickling in as the poor hapless results of Demon Queen Leds horrific sorcerous experiments?
If we get enough people to agree with this, I may start this this very turn
I have some crazy stuff (read: FUN) lined up for the next fort in the series. I vote we abstain from doing this until Battlefailed III.
Also, dibs on starting Battlefailed III.
I'm also leaving a trap for whomever comes next.
Every successor has done that. It's called Failcannon.
Post by: Teneb on October 14, 2011, 08:30:54 pm
I'm also leaving a trap for whomever comes next.
Every successor has done that. It's called Failcannon.
Well, yes, but this one may end up destroying the fort.
Post by: Mego on October 14, 2011, 08:34:10 pm
Well, yes, but this one may end up destroying the fort.
Every successor has done that. It's called Failcannon.
My statement is still valid.
Post by: arcangelsd on October 14, 2011, 08:35:35 pm
Also, dibs on starting Battlefailed III.
Yet? We need to trash this one first. For he multiverse to crumble, and all that jazz.
If we can't kill the dwarves by normal means, we trash the FCN tower, that is being used as a some sort of psychic shield, and then let all modding hell break loose.
You heard it, Deathsword?
GET WORKING xD
-saw your edit- Oh, I see! Demented minds think alike xD
Edit: whoops! Quote fixed
Post by: Mego on October 14, 2011, 08:38:59 pm
Demented minds think alike xD
This is why Bay12-ers get along.
You misquoted in your post. I said that, not CP.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 14, 2011, 08:48:29 pm
... dwarf ... megabeast.
You're a freaking genius! I'll make the sentient races into mega or semi-megabeasts as legendary/champion fighters with weapons. If only you could force them to have armor as well... well, aside from modding in a metal covering to various body parts and naming it like armor, but then people would complain that they don't drop any usable armor... Oh well. Fear your fellow adventurers!
Edit Aaand.... now I will have nightmares about this. Thanks Eric.... keeping it just barely alive, like a young woman in my sexy torture dungeon.
You're welcome :P
Post by: arcangelsd on October 14, 2011, 08:53:22 pm
You're a freaking genius! I'll make the sentient races into mega or semi-megabeasts as legendary/champion fighters with weapons. If only you could force them to have armor as well... well, aside from modding in a metal covering to various body parts and naming it like armor, but then people would complain that they don't drop any usable armor... Oh well. Fear your fellow adventurers!
Genius. You both. Now I WANT to see that in action.
Post by: Teneb on October 14, 2011, 08:55:20 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 14, 2011, 08:59:46 pm
Post by: Mego on October 14, 2011, 09:00:25 pm
EDIT: My friend just had an awesome idea. Two words:
Hostile cats.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 14, 2011, 09:18:18 pm
Now, if we made 50 identical castes pre-generation and THEN modified one/turn during the game... Might be worth testing.
Also, can do on the adventurers-as-megabeasts. Should they have "armor" bodyparts anyway?
If they wouldn't replace other wildlife in their biomes, I'd make 'wild' ones that ambush you like any predatory beast. You're already getting attacked by plenty of military patrols anyway, most likely. It would be wonderful if there were a tag that implies that a certain creature isn't a member of a biome as a species and thus doesn't replace other natural species there, but can randomly be encountered in the biomes in it's definition anyway, as part of an overarching wandering population that also is not a mega/semi-megabeast or civilization member.
I once encountered a biome that was nothing but dragonkin from my mod; woody wyverns and dragonmen as herd animals, and lesser dragons and yeric wyverns as predators. I certainly never intended for that to happen, and wish that previously described tag existed and would permit them to exist in the way I desire.
Err, in the process of writing up the first adventurer definition, I realized they need their own speech file like that of minotaurs, so here's what I have so far:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Mego on October 15, 2011, 12:12:43 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 15, 2011, 03:28:30 am
I have some crazy stuff (read: FUN) lined up for the next fort in the series. I vote we abstain from doing this until Battlefailed III.
This was my initial meaning, actually.
Make references to Andreus the Undying.
Also make reference to seeing the horrors of Boatmurdered and living to tell about it. (also: I have slain the mighty Elephant/carp/badger?)
Post by: Ieb on October 15, 2011, 04:30:01 am
Unfortunately. They ARE a part of your civ after all.
Then again I might be wrong. I haven't ever actually tried it out, you see.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 15, 2011, 04:57:27 am
Post by: Eric Blank on October 15, 2011, 06:38:30 am
I'm pretty sure that megabeast dorfs wouldn't actually be hostile.
Unfortunately. They ARE a part of your civ after all.
Then again I might be wrong. I haven't ever actually tried it out, you see.
Actually I'm getting around this by just making a new creature definition, or more specifically a copy of dwarves, then humans and the rest, with everything they'll need to function as megabeasts and prove difficult opponents. Preparing the armor body parts is taking a damn long time, but I've got a dorf with expert in most military skills that will appear as a semi-megabeast in all 5 varieties of lair listed on the wiki (still wondering if other sites could be used.) All at difficulty 5. Legendary will be difficulty 10, of course.
here's a few more items I came up with:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So far there are no errors generated by this mod, and they act per my expectations (like a naked dorf with a single melee weapon and expert-level skills for the moment.)
I've just tacked the adventurers onto a larger megabeasts mod I was composing for the moment. If my other creations are deemed unworthy, then of course I could cut them out to a separate file set.
I also added 2 more castes to them, as wizards (male and female), who thus far can only toss solid gold and basic fireballs at you. Of course we all know the chances of you being beaned through the helmet or actually set on fire increase exponentially with the pretentiousness of your adventurer/skill of your fortress militia.
Battlefailed III will be... ‼FUN‼... if this mod were used.
Post by: Mego on October 15, 2011, 09:14:55 am
Sounds good to me.
Post by: Teneb on October 15, 2011, 10:25:23 am
Post by: arcangelsd on October 15, 2011, 10:26:59 am
Post by: rridgway on October 15, 2011, 10:28:21 am
Post by: Teneb on October 15, 2011, 10:42:30 am
I moved all body tokens to inside the castes and made a new one.
Here is what happened:
fort opens, but when you unpause, it crashes.
Good thing I made a back-up copy
Post by: Eric Blank on October 15, 2011, 09:40:53 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
) that function off the same basic body definitions (skin/bone/muscle/fingernail etc. materials and tissue layers.)Post by: Teneb on October 16, 2011, 03:05:21 pm
Post by: Mekboy on October 16, 2011, 03:11:37 pm
One thing I would support would be to maybe mod in a daemonic civilisation, Queen Led's minions.
But no modding our guys, just making the game harder.
Post by: Teneb on October 16, 2011, 03:17:43 pm
I personally would argue for little to no modding in Battlefailed 3.
One thing I would support would be to maybe mod in a daemonic civilisation, Queen Led's minions.
But no modding our guys, just making the game harder.
Modding in a civ of caste-based mutant dorfs hostile to everyone?
EDIT: I think I found a way to record a video of the fort. I'll keep you updated
EDIT 2: Done, but the quality is... bad.
Spoiler: here's a sample (click to show/hide)
will try some other way
EDIT 3:
Spoiler: sample of better-quality video (click to show/hide)
I'll place it in youtube later on
Post by: Eric Blank on October 16, 2011, 10:56:56 pm
So, If there's going to be Led's minions, they should be another civilization of dwarves. The question then is would we prefer to keep them one species, so that every change in the raws affects both civ's citizens equally, making any advantage for us simultaneously an advantage for them when they come to town, or use two different races, so that Led's slaves can be especially odd.
Clearly, though, Battlefailed 3 must have bone blocks and other such quirky things that were created over the course of the last year or so in this save.
On a different note; I've done the first of those adventurer megabeasts, the (dwarven) adventurers (expert-level) and corrupt heroes (legendary) They do still have that wizard caste I added so the legendary ones will likely be utterly terrifying when they fling molten gold and bean you in the head.
Still don't have the body-armor yet, though. It'll take some time to get that working.
The upload is here (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=5073) and on my mods page which you can find in my signature. (the EVIL race and civs mod)
Post by: EmeraldWind on October 17, 2011, 10:08:30 am
It would be cool, if we could bring the deities from this world to the next. Hey though, here's a thought. Can't you add some of the characters and gods to the symbols for the next world. This way they would appear as engravings.
Post by: Teneb on October 17, 2011, 02:16:35 pm
It's too bad that deities aren't in the raws yet. I remember reading somewhere (one of the QA session of FotF) that eventually deities will be able to be put in raws, kind of like how you can add custom Night Creatures in addition to the random ones.
It would be cool, if we could bring the deities from this world to the next. Hey though, here's a thought. Can't you add some of the characters and gods to the symbols for the next world. This way they would appear as engravings.
Lur, Led and Ura as megabeasts?
FAKEEDIT: Yes, I'm voicing it and it's not that long. It's a quick tour of failcannon for a reason.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 17, 2011, 05:04:31 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on October 17, 2011, 06:15:24 pm
The reason being that a full tour would drive any viewers to madness or alcohol.Or even worse: SOBERNESS (Random caps are not included)
Post by: Teneb on October 17, 2011, 06:59:49 pm
They need to be introduced to the insanity gradually. Otherwise they may go Stark Raving Mad instead of just not caring about anything anymore.The reason being that a full tour would drive any viewers to madness or alcohol.Or even worse: SOBERNESS (Random caps are not included)
Post by: Gizogin on October 17, 2011, 07:07:00 pm
Random Viewer cancels View Tour of FailCannon: Cannot Find Sanity.They need to be introduced to the insanity gradually. Otherwise they may go Stark Raving Mad instead of just not caring about anything anymore.The reason being that a full tour would drive any viewers to madness or alcohol.Or even worse: SOBERNESS (Random caps are not included)
Post by: Eric Blank on October 18, 2011, 02:33:23 am
...Hey though, here's a thought. Can't you add some of the characters and gods to the symbols for the next world. This way they would appear as engravings.
Yes, actually. Very similar to the Cacame Descriptor Shape (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Cacame_Awemedinade#Engraving_and_decorations), and very easily done, if you just check out the current descriptor_shape.txt and make a copy (renamed both per the file name and the title at the head of the document) including shapes you want. For example; I made a descriptor group that made 'poetry,' 'legends,' 'myths' and other such writings that appear as engravings and national symbols from time to time. Even though you can't read them.
Dwarven poetry would likely make even the most hardened overseer's head explode in terror, let alone a novice...
It's too bad that deities aren't in the raws yet. I remember reading somewhere (one of the QA session of FotF) that eventually deities will be able to be put in raws, kind of like how you can add custom Night Creatures in addition to the random ones.
It would be cool, if we could bring the deities from this world to the next...
Lur, Led and Ura as megabeasts?
And also possible and not overtly complicated, should the Failcannon audience and participants vouch for it (there ought be a pole for each raw change we may wish to include.)
You would have no way of enforcing a population restriction of 1 each, though. They'd be populated per the formula for every other beast.
We could make fanciful beasts with pref-strings though, to appear in engravings similar to a descriptor shape.
And I would agree that we don't want any youtube viewers to spontaneously combust in their seats. The world may not know who to sue in such a situation... DF could be put down overnight and we may end up in jail on the whims of nobles and peasants alike!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 18, 2011, 03:06:04 am
Post by: Eric Blank on October 18, 2011, 10:19:46 am
Post by: Teneb on October 18, 2011, 10:49:08 am
Post by: Kitkun on October 18, 2011, 12:55:40 pm
So... not having read the thing, could I get a dorf? (Just any) :P
Post by: Teneb on October 18, 2011, 01:58:57 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 18, 2011, 02:08:31 pm
Just read Battlefailed and I come to find FailCannon is getting towards triple the length and still going? :o
So... not having read the thing, could I get a dorf? (Just any) :P
Having not read the thing... you have no idea. You are not prepared. You couldn't possibly be prepared.
I read both threads. I re-read them. I studied. I trained for my moment. I prepared.
I was not ready.
I hope you enjoy your coming doom. I know we will.
Post by: Teneb on October 18, 2011, 02:16:48 pm
I hope you enjoy your coming doom. I know we will.
I'll be sigging that, if you don't mind.
Post by: Teneb on October 18, 2011, 02:34:16 pm
A vile force of darkness has arrived! Goblins are attacking! Well, they would be, if they knew how to climb walls. I wonder why Led keeps sending idiots after us.
FPS dropped to 7. Goblin macemen and pikemen siege. No ranged, no trolls. Things keep on as normal in Failcannon
EDIT: scratch that, there are trolls.
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 18, 2011, 03:11:50 pm
Speaking of which, I just noticed my Dorf got a mention in a turn summary on the OP. Guys... thank you so much. You've taken my character and embraced her as a feature of this LEGENDARY fort you've all made, and I am so proud. When I signed up hoping to be a small part of the epicness I... never dreamed.
It's immensely gratifying to see other people liked the character I created enough to make her a part of their own stories. Soon I'll be hanging around with Andreus or something :P Thank you.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 18, 2011, 04:25:18 pm
Also, it's more like Andreus' ethereal form is stalking you. :P
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 18, 2011, 04:25:59 pm
And I'm happy to be the one who managed to kill the most favored dorfs.
Also, it's more like Andreus' ethereal form is stalking you. :P
Eternal Besties?
Post by: arcangelsd on October 18, 2011, 04:49:55 pm
FPS dropped to 7. Goblin macemen and pikemen siege. No ranged, no trolls. Things keep on as normal in Failcannon
EDIT: scratch that, there are trolls.
Are they still going to the House at the North?
Post by: Mego on October 18, 2011, 07:36:01 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on October 18, 2011, 08:05:30 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 18, 2011, 08:38:55 pm
Or something to that effect. I'm not going to bother looking for the quote.
Post by: EmeraldWind on October 18, 2011, 10:43:35 pm
It's too bad that deities aren't in the raws yet. I remember reading somewhere (one of the QA session of FotF) that eventually deities will be able to be put in raws, kind of like how you can add custom Night Creatures in addition to the random ones.
It would be cool, if we could bring the deities from this world to the next...
Lur, Led and Ura as megabeasts?
And also possible and not overtly complicated, should the Failcannon audience and participants vouch for it (there ought be a pole for each raw change we may wish to include.)
You would have no way of enforcing a population restriction of 1 each, though. They'd be populated per the formula for every other beast.
We could make fanciful beasts with pref-strings though, to appear in engravings similar to a descriptor shape.
You know now that I think about it. I've never seen an engraving with a fanciful creature on it, but in theory isn't it possible that an engraving can be of multiple fanciful creatures. IE: Urist is surrounded by two centaurs. ::)
So I don't know how well that would work out. Though Adreus would work fine either case.
Though it would be nice if the mod, if used, can at least include some references to Battlefailed and Failcannon besides just regular creatures additions.
It needs to have cannon added to languages for example. Also in addition to bone blocks there should be a reaction for bone cogs (mechanisms, but cogs sound better for some reason). How else are we going to make levers match our bridges in material? For added organization, cat bone lever is connected to the cat bone bridge (you can even make a song out of it so you remember)! We need to be organized folks.
... ... And cages. We need bone cages. This way we can stick goblins inside of cages made of their dead friends! Or you know... anything else that happens to be caught. You know, so everything stays organized. You want a turkey, look in the turkey bone cage. You want cat, cat bone cage. You have a noble who likes dogs. Organization is key, but there are other benefits! Give him a dog in a dog bone cage! For bonus points, find a way to make the cage out of the noble's old pet dog.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 18, 2011, 10:44:53 pm
EDIT: scratch that, there are trolls.
You know, if they have to go into your fort by climbing up through a Floor Hatch, they can't destroy a locked one from below. They'll just sit at the front door or where they spawn, scratching their heads. Nowhere near as fun, though.
Post by: Gizogin on October 18, 2011, 10:48:03 pm
Post by: Mego on October 18, 2011, 11:02:04 pm
Do we not have some kind of elaborate mechanism for dangerously removing sieges by now? It strikes me as odd that FailCannon doesn't have a FailCannon somewhere. Still, a goblin siege is a welcome break from the routine.
The secret is that the entire fortress is the elaborate mechanism. OSHI-
Post by: Eric Blank on October 18, 2011, 11:27:09 pm
...organization...organization...organized...
Speaking of organization, I ought compile a list of changes that are or may be required.
Also, I think there were elaborate plans for a Failcannon in Failcannon, but they failed to come to fruition despite being quite canon.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 18, 2011, 11:39:54 pm
...organization...organization...organized...
Speaking of organization, I ought compile a list of changes that are or may be required.
Also, I think there were elaborate plans for a Failcannon in Failcannon, but they failed to come to fruition despite being quite canon.
Everyone killing eachother is what probably killed the plans for a doomsday magma device. Ironic, really.
Post by: Karakzon on October 19, 2011, 09:04:31 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 19, 2011, 09:38:05 am
could still just build one to pass the time if all else is to any degree 'safe' in failcannon standerds.
If we built it to Failcannon standards, it would leak and flood the fortress in magma AND water. From two different places on a single pumpstack, knowing the general insanity that goes into everything built in the godsforsaken place.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 19, 2011, 10:41:18 am
Post by: Teneb on October 19, 2011, 11:04:29 am
I swear, if a siege/fb does manage to get inside in my turn, I'll start the failday
Post by: Mego on October 19, 2011, 06:42:52 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 19, 2011, 07:01:34 pm
Luckily for them (and the dwarves), they found some other poor bastards to hang out with for the rest of eternity.
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 19, 2011, 07:27:49 pm
<pyramid quote snip>
Random Viewer cancels View Tour of FailCannon: Cannot Find Sanity.
In FailCannon, the pathing alone can lead to insanity.
Yeah, a bloody rebellion threw off the secret project and now the maddened and hard-bitten survivors live in the gigantic and insanely complicated remains of the unfinished mechanism of the superweapon itself. It's perfect really.Speaking of organization, I ought compile a list of changes that are or may be required.Everyone killing eachother is what probably killed the plans for a doomsday magma device. Ironic, really.
Also, I think there were elaborate plans for a Failcannon in Failcannon, but they failed to come to fruition despite being quite canon.
Post by: Mego on October 19, 2011, 08:12:08 pm
...organization...organization...organized...
Speaking of organization, I ought compile a list of changes that are or may be required.
Also, I think there were elaborate plans for a Failcannon in Failcannon, but they failed to come to fruition despite being quite canon.
Everyone killing eachother is what probably killed the plans for a doomsday magma device. Ironic, really.
Actually, everybody killing each other was the plan for a doomsday magma device.
Post by: Strategia on October 19, 2011, 10:35:11 pm
Forgotten Beast cancels Terrorize Failcannon: Attending meeting.
ÿara Favavafice, Forgotten Beast, has been elected Mayor of Failcannon!
ÿara Favavafice, Forgotten Beast, has issued a mandate prohibiting the export of bismuth bronze items.
ÿara Favavafice, Forgotten Beast, cancels Attend meeting: Interrupted by dwarf.
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 20, 2011, 02:06:14 am
Post by: Eric Blank on October 20, 2011, 06:45:47 pm
Post by: Mego on October 20, 2011, 07:01:05 pm
Eric has gone berserk!
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 20, 2011, 08:26:24 pm
Post by: Gizogin on October 20, 2011, 11:34:17 pm
Thanks for sharing, Eric. I still can't afford a new vacuum so I guess I'm just going to have to build a wall around my bed.But... Isn't under your bed where the dust bunnies live? Do you mean to trap them in with you?
Post by: Strategia on October 21, 2011, 12:14:51 am
Thanks for sharing, Eric. I still can't afford a new vacuum so I guess I'm just going to have to build a wall around my bed.But... Isn't under your bed where the dust bunnies live? Do you mean to trap them in with you?
That's what the cave-in trap is for.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 21, 2011, 01:00:21 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 21, 2011, 01:53:32 pm
Thanks for sharing, Eric. I still can't afford a new vacuum so I guess I'm just going to have to build a wall around my bed.But... Isn't under your bed where the dust bunnies live? Do you mean to trap them in with you?
It already sits directly on the ground. Maximum security design. :|
Now to just route the magma shaft above it and connect it to a pull chain in case of emergencies...
Post by: Eric Blank on October 22, 2011, 04:09:07 am
Post by: Teneb on October 22, 2011, 07:59:20 am
Where could Deathsword have gone...
This is becoming a recurring joke.
I won't be able to play much this weekend, due to two 6-hour long test today and tomorrow. I'll try to play at night, but it won't be a lot. If you want to end my turn, say it and I'll upload the save.
Post by: Mego on October 22, 2011, 08:08:49 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 22, 2011, 10:33:21 pm
Post by: Teneb on October 23, 2011, 07:47:13 am
Post by: Mego on October 23, 2011, 11:12:59 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 23, 2011, 06:50:15 pm
Low FPS: The one thing deadlier than the HFS.
The HFS is deadly? Nobody told me... *whistles nonchalantly*
Post by: Mego on October 23, 2011, 07:06:27 pm
Low FPS: The one thing deadlier than the HFS.
The HFS is deadly? Nobody told me... *whistles nonchalantly*
Oh you.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 23, 2011, 07:08:48 pm
Not like this fort, or any other succession fort so labyrinthine, could EVER afford to have an open passage to hell, though. Even if your plans defeated the first wave, you'd have to seal it off because that slow trickle of demons would inevitably be ignored by one player, perhaps just by a passage not being properly blocked or trapped, and suddenly the end would arrive.
Post by: Mego on October 23, 2011, 07:10:41 pm
I would look forward to your turn with Failcannon, Aussie, but you haven't taken a place on the list yet.
Not like this fort, or any other succession fort so labyrinthine, could EVER afford to have an open passage to hell, though. Even if your plans defeated the first wave, you'd have to seal it off because that slow trickle of demons would inevitably be ignored by one player, perhaps just by a passage not being properly blocked or trapped, and suddenly the end would arrive.
The thing is, we already have a slow trickle of demons. Have you met Andreus III-XIII yet?
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 23, 2011, 07:30:24 pm
I would look forward to your turn with Failcannon, Aussie, but you haven't taken a place on the list yet.
Not like this fort, or any other succession fort so labyrinthine, could EVER afford to have an open passage to hell, though. Even if your plans defeated the first wave, you'd have to seal it off because that slow trickle of demons would inevitably be ignored by one player, perhaps just by a passage not being properly blocked or trapped, and suddenly the end would arrive.
Actually, that's incorrect. After the first wave, they spawn on the map edge in groups of 3-5 and rarely roam from where they spawn (though one of the fliers might rarely make it to the breaching point on their own, I must admit)
And I don't really have time to run a year of Failcannon. I'm busy with my own fortress of madness at the moment.
Post by: Mego on October 23, 2011, 07:32:53 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 23, 2011, 07:39:13 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 23, 2011, 07:46:23 pm
Note that that regen has NONE of the things that people have asked for. Pure vanilla. Not to mention we'd want it genned in the new version (and there's no way this fort will die THAT quickly anyway.)
God dammit: Tempting fate like that is why we cant have nice things!
Post by: Mego on October 23, 2011, 08:12:37 pm
Note that that regen has NONE of the things that people have asked for. Pure vanilla. Not to mention we'd want it genned in the new version (and there's no way this fort will die THAT quickly anyway.)
Except that I have modded in the bone brick, blood brick, and oar->cannon changes, and can always try regenning it again in the new version.
Post by: gamewizardinnc on October 23, 2011, 10:19:35 pm
Edit: After looking at this message again I believe what I just said has already been said. Sorry.
Post by: Mego on October 23, 2011, 10:23:42 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 24, 2011, 12:31:14 am
Post by: Mego on October 24, 2011, 06:00:35 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 24, 2011, 06:52:28 pm
Post by: Mego on October 24, 2011, 07:00:17 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 24, 2011, 08:15:54 pm
He means that the idea was to make the modded reactions actual new reactions as opposed to rewriting old ones such as the nickel silver making one.Yeah... Thanks for unborking my brain.
Oh, that makes a lot more sense to me. I suppose I could add in the reactions as new reactions and regen, if that would work better. However, I think keeping things as close to how they previously were in Battlefailed would be preferable, with only the blood bricks and possible caste mods being new.
Yes it would be preferable, but adding new reactions rather than replacing normal ones so that in the off chance anyone EVER wants nickel silver or whatever else we can produce that without fiddling with the raws is far better.
Post by: Mego on October 24, 2011, 10:34:39 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 24, 2011, 11:58:27 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 25, 2011, 12:21:22 am
Hell, one could actually create a few extra materials, tissues, and inorganics entries for participant/viewer approved re-writes. Although that may well be going too far...
P.S, CURSE YOU "E" KEY! CURSE YOU!
Post by: Teneb on October 25, 2011, 10:53:09 am
I'll be doing a new video-tour of failcannon, as I scraped the previous one since I was coughing all the time due to a throat infection and my voice wasn't very good due to that.
Post by: Teneb on October 25, 2011, 04:51:47 pm
From an engraving near the main gate:
Andreus has finished
It also appears Gizogin has grown attached to his crossbow
EDIT:
Spoiler: I just found this (click to show/hide)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 25, 2011, 05:21:00 pm
a horse the horse"
Bravo, game.
Post by: Teneb on October 25, 2011, 05:40:01 pm
Oh shit, oh shit.
The ghost of boozedwarf just scared dariush to death. We need to get him back in his grave, and quick
Post by: Gizogin on October 25, 2011, 05:45:13 pm
Post by: Teneb on October 25, 2011, 07:32:37 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 25, 2011, 10:27:02 pm
Spoiler: Also, I got an "upgrade" today. (click to show/hide)
Post by: Strategia on October 26, 2011, 12:30:27 am
And Dariush does seem to be the butt monkey of the fortress, sorta, doesn't he?
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 26, 2011, 01:09:58 am
And Dariush does seem to be the butt monkey of the fortress, sorta, doesn't he?
Well his avatar IS a dwarf running around on fire.
Post by: CatalystParadox on October 26, 2011, 01:51:23 am
Speaking of DF-based processor stress tests, I recently found this (http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/kf844/earthmurdered_a_challenge_map/) complete madness. It slows even my behemoth down to 5 fps until the lava is well and truly spread out and the tsunami has effectively dispersed, and even then it only gets up to about 19-23 or so. I'm curious to know if you can run it any better :)Spoiler: Also, I got an "upgrade" today. (click to show/hide)
But hey, topic, and the being-on-thereof. Tell me more about what the ghosts are actually doing exactly, Deathsword? Last I knew they were just scaring puppies and hiding socks.
Post by: Dariush on October 26, 2011, 02:45:43 am
The ghost of boozedwarf just scared dariush to death. We need to get him back in his grave, and quickWaaaaaaait. WHOM do we need to get back in grave? >:(
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 26, 2011, 03:12:58 am
The ghost of boozedwarf just scared dariush to death. We need to get him back in his grave, and quickWaaaaaaait. WHOM do we need to get back in grave? >:(
I think he means they need to memorialize or entomb the corpse of boozedwarf so he cant scare anyone else to death
Post by: Mekboy on October 26, 2011, 08:16:04 am
The ghost of boozedwarf just scared dariush to death. We need to get him back in his grave, and quickWaaaaaaait. WHOM do we need to get back in grave? >:(
I think he means they need to memorialize or entomb the corpse of boozedwarf so he cant scare anyone else to death
In Failcannon it pays to be sure.
Post by: Teneb on October 26, 2011, 11:03:48 am
Post by: Mego on October 26, 2011, 08:25:45 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on October 27, 2011, 12:53:51 am
Speaking of DF-based processor stress tests, I recently found this (http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/kf844/earthmurdered_a_challenge_map/) complete madness. It slows even my behemoth down to 5 fps until the lava is well and truly spread out and the tsunami has effectively dispersed, and even then it only gets up to about 19-23 or so. I'm curious to know if you can run it any better :)
Heh, my fps stabilizes at 2 on day 1-3. But dear Armok how could anyone expect to survive? I'm having the miners and woodcutters dig a channel/erect a wooden palisade to stem the flow of lava... I feel it's hopeless either way. Free magma moat, I guess...
Even Failcannon isn't this horrendously slow. It may well be more terrifying though.
Now, about those ghosts... Uhh... Hmm. Welp, if luck serves the doomed you should at least be able to end the year without the fortress falling. :P
Post by: Gizogin on October 27, 2011, 08:37:13 am
Andreus scares puppies to death while he's alive.
Small dogs are absolutely terrified of me.
Post by: Teneb on October 27, 2011, 01:39:22 pm
Now, about those ghosts... Uhh... Hmm. Welp, if luck serves the doomed you should at least be able to end the year without the fortress falling. :P
I don't need luck, I've got ‼SCIENCE‼
Post by: Dark_T_Zeratul on October 27, 2011, 02:33:44 pm
Post by: tryrar on October 28, 2011, 12:46:05 am
Post by: Teneb on October 28, 2011, 11:15:39 am
Also, I just drew a megaproject, I'll upload the
Post by: Teneb on October 29, 2011, 02:03:47 pm
Twobeard's skeleton is in the middle of the second cavern lake, so it's not possible to retrieve it. Will have to slab him.
The forgotten beast party house's floor is made of hair. horse, mule, and other grazer animals, to be specific.
There are many unreachable dwarf corpses, and it's impossible to find any names in the slab list, so we'll just have to hope a horde of angry ghosts don't wipe us out.
EDIT: just found out someone ordered corpses to be atom-smashed. Hopefuly Andreus XI may be there.
EDIT 2: a new FB is in town. Second cavern layer. Not that we need to worry about it finding a way up or anything.
Post by: Gizogin on October 29, 2011, 03:01:03 pm
"Hi guys. What's going on?"
"Oh, not much. We're just hangin' out under this fortress."
"Shouldn't we be attacking it or something?"
"Nah. We have an arrangement. We don't storm in there and kill them, they don't destroy the very fabric of the universe."
"Sounds fair."
Post by: Teneb on October 29, 2011, 03:34:21 pm
Humans won. A few were crippled, two went insane and the rest left before I could lower the entrance bridge.
EDIT: The ghost of Andreus XI just killed a cat, rejoice!
Post by: Eric Blank on October 30, 2011, 06:44:11 pm
How's the situation looking now?
Post by: Teneb on October 30, 2011, 06:53:42 pm
I've spotted 3 ghosts until now, but only 2 are muderous, and these are hanging out in the lower levels of the Pontificator, the megaproject I'm building (and which
We also have forgotten beast chitin blocks. They are light grey.
Post by: Eric Blank on October 30, 2011, 11:15:00 pm
Post by: Mego on October 30, 2011, 11:43:44 pm
[...] forgotten beast [...] magma forges.
The solution is obvious.
EDIT: OOC: Eric, I just noticed your sig has a typo. Dward Fortress?
Post by: Eric Blank on October 31, 2011, 12:10:45 am
And I also just got two FB's within two days of each other. Scary. Hopefully they'll be dwardges like Yara, and seemingly every other beast at this point... Is it possible that playing the game on constantly newer versions has actually broken the AI?
Post by: Mego on October 31, 2011, 07:08:09 am
Post by: EmeraldWind on October 31, 2011, 09:28:54 pm
Its probably just that there are multiple paths leading to the dwarves and the closest dwarf is constantly in a state of flux. Thus the FBs can never decide who to stalk. I figure this because FBs seem to always go after the closest dwarf in the off chance you forget about them. So I think they change who they go after rather constantly. Maybe someone should submit Failcannon to an AI pathing research project. They might be able to learn something from this mess.
Post by: Andreus on November 01, 2011, 01:03:49 am
Anything important happen since my last visit?
Post by: nighzmarquls on November 01, 2011, 01:39:02 am
Long time follower, Has anyone ever thought of trying to undertake a mega project to 'fix' the pathing complexity of the forgotten beasts? slowly winnow down the number of paths via controlled cave ins of each route until they suddenly all realize the one and only path?
Post by: Mego on November 01, 2011, 07:15:23 am
Just checking up on the monster I helped create.
Anything important happen since my last visit?
You're on incarnation number 13 now, and the ghost of 11 seems pretty pissed about something.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 01, 2011, 08:39:35 am
Just checking up on the monster I helped create.
Anything important happen since my last visit?
The fortress almost killed itself with a loyalty cascade, Catalyst had to be kept away from the other dwarves in case he 'infected' anyone with his rebellious civilization (she eventually escaped and was brutally killed), Dariush designed an entrance in the ocean that we've never gotten to work right, but managed to drown, I think, three dwarves on the walkways leading to the screw pumps managing it. My dwarf is on his third disguise and planning to take over the fort with nefarious schemes so complex even he isn't fully certain if they're still going to plan. The dorimitories are being converted into a tomb with a fuck-you device in the form of a colossal cave-in system being built on the floor above. If it works, It'll destroy every coffin in the fortress and probably generate a LOT of angry ghosts.
Oh, and I completely and utterly ruined Hell for everyone in my own fortress by outright humiliating the much-feared Underworld with a bit of dwarven engineering.
Post by: Strategia on November 01, 2011, 01:42:04 pm
Maybe someone should submit Failcannon to an AI pathing research project. They might be able to learn something from this mess.
Failcannon: so eldritch it can be used as laboratory equipment. If the dwarves ever manage to build a particle accelerator, they'll probably be able to jump the boundary into the real world and we'd be screwed.
Post by: kisame12794 on November 01, 2011, 02:22:14 pm
Post by: Mego on November 01, 2011, 05:04:16 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on November 01, 2011, 11:19:28 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on November 02, 2011, 11:16:09 am
Post by: nighzmarquls on November 02, 2011, 11:26:53 pm
Unacceptable.
Post by: Johuotar on November 03, 2011, 01:19:00 am
Post by: Eric Blank on November 03, 2011, 07:05:58 pm
Post by: Strategia on November 04, 2011, 12:23:36 am
good luck with that. Whatever you do, DO NOT attempt to comprehend the pathing :P Just assume that the dorfs may be able to make it there.
Looks like those tears in time and space weren't entirely sealed.....
Post by: Johuotar on November 04, 2011, 01:08:06 am
good luck with that. Whatever you do, DO NOT attempt to comprehend the pathing :P Just assume that the dorfs may be able to make it there.
But that's the first thing I was going to do...
I was planning to dedicate my turn to understand and map FailCannon and the way it works. Or doesn't work, to be precise
Post by: kisame12794 on November 04, 2011, 08:10:04 am
good luck with that. Whatever you do, DO NOT attempt to comprehend the pathing :P Just assume that the dorfs may be able to make it there.
But that's the first thing I was going to do...
I was planning to dedicate my turn to understand and map FailCannon and the way it works. Or doesn't work, to be precise
Do not attempt to understand, as the only thing that lies with that knowledge is madness. Gaze long into Failcannon, and Failcannon gazes into you.
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 04, 2011, 10:23:29 am
good luck with that. Whatever you do, DO NOT attempt to comprehend the pathing :P Just assume that the dorfs may be able to make it there.
But that's the first thing I was going to do...
I was planning to dedicate my turn to understand and map FailCannon and the way it works. Or doesn't work, to be precise
Do not attempt to understand, as the only thing that lies with that knowledge is madness. Gaze long into Failcannon, and Failcannon gazes into you.
And when they found Johuotar, weeks later, half-starved and stark raving mad, their chambers looked like this.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Edit: better image
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 04, 2011, 10:33:46 am
And when they found Johuotar, weeks later, half-starved and stark raving mad, their chambers looked like this.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Demonic symbols engraved on all surfaces, images of pagan deities in guises of ordinary creatures, depictions of horrifying past events... Looks like a normal engraved room in any dwarf fortress. How exactly does it link to Johuotar being mad?
Post by: kisame12794 on November 04, 2011, 11:01:09 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 04, 2011, 11:22:43 am
Quote
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you.
Post by: Johuotar on November 04, 2011, 12:06:16 pm
He's human. I hope.
I'd like to be a human.
Post by: Teneb on November 04, 2011, 12:29:46 pm
He's human. I hope.
I'd like to be a human.
Humans don't like Failcannon much. Too many kobolds, they say. They didn't even stay to trade last time.
Anyway, I wasn't able to play yesterday due to certain problems, so I'll try to play it today.
EDIT: found out why FBs are in the party house: turns out the path to the surface is blocked (still doesn't explain why they don't destroy all the doors and statues around them). I'll leave a note at the proper spot in case anyone wants to get to them.
Post by: Teneb on November 04, 2011, 04:42:47 pm
Boozedwarf has just killed Scaraban, and I simply can't find his name on the slab list to stop the murders.
Post by: EmeraldWind on November 04, 2011, 09:09:06 pm
So, gentledwarfs, we have a problem.
Boozedwarf has just killed Scaraban, and I simply can't find his name on the slab list to stop the murders.
Sometimes if a nickname is entered through Therapist it doesn't carry over to all possible places (for instance, notice how sometimes a named dwarf will appear unnamed in a family member's thoughts screen). One of these places is the slab name list.
You can find him in the unit list and go to nickname him, but press enter instead of actually changing the name. This usually fixes the problem with dwarves not displaying proper nicknames in spots.
He can also simply not be there which is also a common problem.
Post by: tryrar on November 04, 2011, 09:45:36 pm
...actually, that might be pretty appropriate, now that I think on it
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 04, 2011, 10:10:29 pm
Could this be the first fort to fall to murderous ghosts? :o
...actually, that might be pretty appropriate, now that I think on it
There's a contingency plan for that - destroying all the coffins to make MORE vengeful ghosts (considering how most die in the fortress, the odds are good anyway). Basically, if the dwarves in the fortress can't be happy, no-one who had anything to do with the fortress in this life or the next can.
Post by: Eric Blank on November 04, 2011, 11:59:08 pm
If you've linked the support and made sure everything is rigged to collapse, then the lever be yours to pull. Preferably, the fort would survive just barely long enough for Toady to release the next update, though, so let the wheels of fortune spin just a little longer. And at least try to bury the premature ghosts' corpses. I mean it didn't take long at all to dig them up and move them to the corpse stockpiles... Stupid dorfs.
Sounds like it will be pretty terrifying not being able to see dwarves that wander too far from the others. Wonder how the game will determine what the player can or cannot see...
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 05, 2011, 02:19:45 am
Exactly what I was about to suggest, actually.
If you've linked the support and made sure everything is rigged to collapse, then the lever be yours to pull. Preferably, the fort would survive just barely long enough for Toady to release the next update, though, so let the wheels of fortune spin just a little longer. And at least try to bury the premature ghosts' corpses. I mean it didn't take long at all to dig them up and move them to the corpse stockpiles... Stupid dorfs.
Sounds like it will be pretty terrifying not being able to see dwarves that wander too far from the others. Wonder how the game will determine what the player can or cannot see...
I believe the thread that brought up that topic mentioned that it would be based on the missing dwarf's social interactions. Ie; if he doesn't interact with anyone for x period of time, he's declared missing.
Post by: Teneb on November 05, 2011, 06:05:23 am
So, gentledwarfs, we have a problem.
Boozedwarf has just killed Scaraban, and I simply can't find his name on the slab list to stop the murders.
Sometimes if a nickname is entered through Therapist it doesn't carry over to all possible places (for instance, notice how sometimes a named dwarf will appear unnamed in a family member's thoughts screen). One of these places is the slab name list.
You can find him in the unit list and go to nickname him, but press enter instead of actually changing the name. This usually fixes the problem with dwarves not displaying proper nicknames in spots.
He can also simply not be there which is also a common problem.
The problem is that the slab name list is just too big, as it list everything belonging to a civ that died in Failcannon.
On the topic of Failday, I belive we should vote on wheter or not I should pull the lever.
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 05, 2011, 12:20:59 pm
On the topic of Failday, I belive we should vote on wheter or not I should pull the lever.
How many dwarves are alive - and how many have been murdered by ghosts (!?!?) so far?
Post by: Teneb on November 05, 2011, 02:53:50 pm
Post by: tryrar on November 05, 2011, 06:21:05 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 05, 2011, 07:06:14 pm
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 05, 2011, 07:11:28 pm
Post by: Mego on November 05, 2011, 07:25:48 pm
Also, I have a story lined up and stuff for Battlefailed III. I'll make and maintain the thread when the time comes, make the initial embark, and pass the save on to whoever is next.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 05, 2011, 08:45:38 pm
EDIT: Added poll.
Post by: Teneb on November 05, 2011, 08:48:43 pm
Who's alive again?
EDIT: Added poll.
Going to do a quick check right now, will edit this post afterwards.
EDIT:
Grand list of dorfs:
-Mormota II, "Heros Younger Brother"
-ThatAussieDwarf, "Xanatos Rouleteer"
-Erica IV, Chief Medical Dwarf
-Deathsword III, "Undertaker"
-Sinclair, Miner
-Rrigdway, Woodcutter
-Catalyst, "Reborn Traitor"
-Gizogin, "Battlemage"
-Kirby, Broker
-Andreus XIII, "The Endless"
ten dorfs, the two dead being Scaraban and some other guy I don't remember but whose name I typed into one of the updates, so just check back.
I'll bet a sock and three kobold teeth on Gizogin pulling the lever
Also, what will be the name of the next fort?
Post by: Mego on November 05, 2011, 08:58:40 pm
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 05, 2011, 09:07:31 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 05, 2011, 09:07:37 pm
Post by: Mego on November 05, 2011, 09:15:04 pm
I am actually kind of glad we might pull the lever. I'm afraid my computer might not be able to handle FailCannon. So I'll be fourth or fifth on the new fortress, right?
I count fifth. Don't get your hopes up for a manageable fortress on your turn. A lot can happen in 5 years.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 05, 2011, 09:20:21 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on November 05, 2011, 09:24:48 pm
Urist, I LOVE your random avatar generator.
Post by: EmeraldWind on November 05, 2011, 09:38:09 pm
And a quick look at the unit list shows me three decease boozedwarf entries. So that should be all of them unless he was redorfed and killed again in the two year hence... which is likely.
Granted there's probably a lot lot more death, by the current year. You can quicken your search by only acknowledging names that begin with a ' at the start. All nicknames have those. Even then just check the first letter for a 'b'. Plus you shouldn't have to go too deep since the slab list seems to tend to bubble citizen/pet names to the top of the list (granted it still might be deep since this is the longest list of dead dwarves I've ever seen). I found the first two boozedwarfs on page 8 and the third on page 18. I doubt they are still on those pages, but most likely they will be either on those pages or after them since I doubt they would end up higher in the list.
This is mostly only if you still want to try to get rid of him. If he's still plaguing the fort at the end of the turn I'll download the fort and figure out where he is on the slab list to inform the next overseer.
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 05, 2011, 09:38:37 pm
Post by: The Master on November 05, 2011, 09:40:13 pm
Post by: Sinpwn on November 05, 2011, 09:41:12 pm
Also, I think Sinclair will be the one to pull it, depending on the z level difference between his mining area and the lever.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 05, 2011, 09:41:31 pm
Well at least it will be more manageable than FailCannon. Also Urist isn't Catalyst already dead?Catalyst is basically a malevolent Andreus at this point:
Grand list of dorfs:
-Mormota II, "Heros Younger Brother"
-ThatAussieDwarf, "Xanatos Rouleteer"
-Erica IV, Chief Medical Dwarf
-Deathsword III, "Undertaker"
-Sinclair, Miner
-Rrigdway, Woodcutter
-Catalyst, "Reborn Traitor"
-Gizogin, "Battlemage"
-Kirby, Broker
-Andreus XIII, "The Endless"
ten dorfs, the two dead being Scaraban and some other guy I don't remember but whose name I typed into one of the updates, so just check back.
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 05, 2011, 09:43:27 pm
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 05, 2011, 09:45:29 pm
Post by: The Master on November 05, 2011, 09:46:44 pm
Post by: Mego on November 05, 2011, 09:48:19 pm
Snipe: Master, that would be Aussie. Hence why I said that we need him to have a turn in the 3rd fort.
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 05, 2011, 09:49:04 pm
Post by: Mego on November 05, 2011, 09:51:25 pm
EDIT: Oh right, THAT succession game. Aussie still wins, though.
Post by: The Master on November 05, 2011, 09:51:30 pm
Really? Never heard of Deathgate. If so, out with my idea!http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=84451.0
Post by: The Master on November 05, 2011, 09:53:50 pm
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 05, 2011, 09:54:11 pm
EDIT: Still even if we do try to colonize hell, It would be ridiculously easy (probably) with Aussie's checkerboard idea.
Post by: The Master on November 05, 2011, 10:30:38 pm
(http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/309/9/9/dwarf_fortress_massacre_by_themaster567-d4f8m2f.jpg)
On the item is an image of The Master, 39 Elves, and 6 Dwarves. The Master is insane. The dwarves are screaming. The Elves are fighting. This image relates to the posting of this comment in the late autumn of 2011.
(shmekheh khuzd really does mean killer dwarf in dwarven!)
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 05, 2011, 10:39:27 pm
I propose HellCannon. Of course, to live up to the name, Aussie will have to take a turn.
Only if I get to open the way to hell, AND with a Checkerboard
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 05, 2011, 10:41:33 pm
I propose drafting every dorf into the military decking them in steel then have them rush headfirst into it.
Post by: Teneb on November 06, 2011, 08:50:07 am
so, 16 against 2... time to pull the lever. I'll try to finish my turn if my computer survives the cave-in.
EDIT: DF currently frozen as Andreus pulls the lever. I'll wait to see if it unfreezes.
EDIT 2: Ok, no way my computer can handle it. Here's the save (http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=5151) about 1 second before Andreus reaches the lever. I'm already writing the ending, so to speak. As soon as someone manages to pull the bloody thing, tell me so I can post it.
Post by: Johuotar on November 06, 2011, 10:00:23 am
EDIT: I'll try the save.
EDIT:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Teneb on November 06, 2011, 12:00:12 pm
I am no SethCreyid, but here it goes:
The time had come. All the strife, all the blood spilled, all deaths suffered, all lead to this moment. FailCannon was about to die. A sacrifice for the greater good of all universes, for the rift created by the evil queen Led had to be sealed.
Andreus stood before the red lever and prepared himself, for it could mean the end of him. Forever. “Faillever” was engraved upon the wall nearby, which would trigger the “Failday”, a massive cave-in that would release a legion of ghosts filled with righteous fury, ready to fight Led in the final battle.
He pulled it. A thunderous crash happened moments after, as layer after layer of catacombs crashed down upon each other, releasing the spirits trapped within.
All the world felt it. The undead queen Led on her throne, the goblin raiders marching towards FailCannon with the intent to sack it, the elves in their forest homes, the kobolds in their caves, the proud humans in their castles, even monsters forgotten by time felt the cataclysm that was to come and, for the first time since the world was born, they felt fear.
And so FailCannon died, and with it died all who were bound to it: Andreus, Queen Led, Lur Thiefwitch and Ura. The Multiverse was irrevocably changed, and while many monsters had escaped their prisons and now terrorized once-pacific worlds, no longer was it under threat of collapsing upon itself.
None would remember the brave dwarves that gave their lives so it was possible, but they died with a sense of fulfillment in their hearts, and knew such a sacrifice was necessary so others everywhere could continue to live.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 06, 2011, 12:28:24 pm
even monsters forgotten by time felt the cataclysm that was to come and, for the first time since the world was born, they felt fear.
No shit, two thirds of them were in the Failcannon Funhouse at the time.
Post by: Teneb on November 06, 2011, 12:29:20 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on November 06, 2011, 01:00:15 pm
In other news, I seem to have unleashed a squeal of ecstasy and excitement when I read this page.
Post by: Johuotar on November 06, 2011, 01:50:58 pm
Johuotar, how many survived the Failday?
Everyone except Rrigdway.
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 01:55:43 pm
I approve.
Post by: Johuotar on November 06, 2011, 02:24:45 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
... and delivers.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The only victim of the lever was Rrigdway who's corpse I found in this staircase.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The save: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=5157
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 02:37:48 pm
I propose we name it FailHell, to keep with the Fail theme.
But the third fortress will not fail! It cannot!
Man, who am I kidding? It will fail gloriously and hilariously. And it will be !!FUN!!
Post by: Mekboy on November 06, 2011, 02:55:30 pm
Anyway, I'd like a turn in the next fort.
Post by: Hazael on November 06, 2011, 02:56:52 pm
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 02:57:36 pm
Post by: Hazael on November 06, 2011, 03:11:50 pm
Even better is when you do it on purpose.
YEEESS!! Even better! 8)
Can I be dorfed? I'd like a militaristic dwarf named "Tacobell," please. :D
Post by: Teneb on November 06, 2011, 03:13:06 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 06, 2011, 03:14:10 pm
Post by: EmeraldWind on November 06, 2011, 03:35:53 pm
The voices of hundred earth-bound souls raised up in unholy rage.
The Goddess of Death was struck the final blow and her darkness scattered through-out the remaining worlds.
Those alive saw as the world tore itself apart, a necessary sacrifice for the good of all.
No one would remember these brave souls, but the gods themselves.
The Rift was filled with life again and balance was restored.
Those who lived through it all took comfort in the dawn of a new day and age.
Years and years flow by like a river flowing from the mountains.
Today seven dwarves set out to live their dreams and build a new home.
As the mountain homes rejoiced in celebration of the building of a new fortress, one young dwarf stands and watches in amazement.
"I would like to someday settle a fort," the young lad said to his father.
"You will," the father replied.
"I can go with my friends," the little boy said matter-of-factly.
"Oh, yes. You and those little rascals are nearly inseparable."
"Robocorn can be our expedition leader. Samrek's father is a doctor, so by then he might be a doctor too." The little boy's eyes flashing in excitement. "Oglokoog is already good a digging holes, so he can be our miner. Heyguys can make stuff for us to sell. Urist the Blue is already a good fighter and can be our military commander. And Krimson can be our seventh!"
"And Andreus," he father asked, "what would be your job?"
"Well..." the boy begins with a thoughtful look, but trails off as he sees a strange dwarf boy looking at him curiously.
"Hello Andreus," the dwarf says to the boy. "I am so glad to meet you."
Andreus looks at the other boy and doesn't recognize him at all. Adreus's father walks away and lets the children talk.
"A new dawn has begun Andreus, " the other boy said quietly. "One you helped bring along. Dusk is gone, twilight has ended and soon my strength shall wain as dawn gives in to day. You have a gifted soul young dwarf. You are destined for greatness, but let me give you a warning. Greatness will come to you, but do not let your ambition run wild s it once did. You are free of the sins you committed and are no longer bound to that fate. You and the rest of the souls you touched were given a second chance in this bright new day. Don't waste it."
With that the other boy walked into the crowd and left Adreus there to puzzle out what was said. The words meant nothing to little Adreus now, but with time the young child will understand. Then Adreus ran into the crowd to find his friends and talk about the adventure of starting a fortress. Before long the seven children built up a play fort from left over boulders. They played for days in the small play fort and occasionally slept in the little fort at night. Many imaginative adventures were had, jokes were told and songs were sung. Over the little fort's door hung a small wooden sign. On the sign written in dimple cup blue were the words, "Battelfeiled: Bewaar all dorfs hoo enter here!"
Post by: The Master on November 06, 2011, 03:41:22 pm
Post by: Teneb on November 06, 2011, 03:54:58 pm
BRAVO, BRAVO!
EDIT: Taking a look at the save, the fortress is being flooded! And FBs have a path to the surface (flying ones at least)
EDIT 2: anyone wants to play it unil it dies?
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 04:19:08 pm
EDIT 2: anyone wants to play it unil it dies?
I think you earned that right. You'll also be given the first turn on Fail The Third, if you so please.
Post by: Karakzon on November 06, 2011, 04:25:55 pm
hope to get in a turn at the next one, but document this ones end first :)
Post by: Teneb on November 06, 2011, 04:51:04 pm
EDIT 2: anyone wants to play it unil it dies?
I think you earned that right. You'll also be given the first turn on Fail The Third, if you so please.
Very well then. May not be able to do it today, since I'll be playing D&D later on.
Post by: EmeraldWind on November 06, 2011, 05:15:44 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
:o This is the most
EDIT: Plus, this is also the first fortress I read about to choose death by ghosts so it is a very unique ending to a fort fro my POV.
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 05:41:53 pm
I'm not a visual artist. 5-year-olds consistently out-draw me. But, I want to contribute some sort of art to Battlefailed/Failcannon. So, I'm working on composing a multi-movement piece called Ode to Aluorna. If it doesn't end up being total shit (which it probably will), I may try an internet musical experiment, with people recording themselves playing their part for a song and sending it to me. I will mix them all together and do editing to make sure stuff lines up and blends together.
Part list (subject to change at my whim, numbers in parentheses indicate multiple parts for that instrument):
Flute (1, 2)
Bb Clarinet (1, 2, 3)
Bb Bass Clarinet
Alto Saxophone
Tenor Saxophone
Baritone Saxophone
Bb Trumpet (1, 2, 3)
F Horn (1, 2, 3, 4)
Tenor Trombone (1, 2)
Euphonium Bass Clef (1, 2)
Tuba
Electric Guitar (Lead, Rhythm)
Various Percussion (not sure which yet, but probably at least snare, bass, and drum set)
If there's enough interest for this and I decide to go through with it, I'll make a separate thread.
Post by: Hazael on November 06, 2011, 06:14:16 pm
All dwarfs are claimed, and the fort will not stay running for much longer.
Ah, well that's too bad. I'd like to claim one decapitated head for my collection, please. And to go.
;D
Post by: Teneb on November 06, 2011, 06:38:39 pm
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 06:50:31 pm
Also to try to contribute to any artwork, I can see if I can have a few of my friends sketch up a few pictures.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 06, 2011, 08:03:15 pm
Also, any chance of That Aussie Dwarf, prolonged scheming bastard getting in on the starting seven of Hellcannon/FailHell/BattleCannon/BattleHell/Fail the Third/Battlefailed Three: Dug Too Deep?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 06, 2011, 08:07:34 pm
Post by: The Master on November 06, 2011, 08:12:33 pm
Post by: Gizogin on November 06, 2011, 08:25:49 pm
By which I mean, please add me to the turn list, so that I can try the next incarnation of madness itself.
Post by: The Master on November 06, 2011, 08:39:56 pm
Post by: Hazael on November 06, 2011, 08:57:23 pm
Post by: Sinpwn on November 06, 2011, 09:13:33 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 06, 2011, 09:54:09 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 06, 2011, 09:56:59 pm
I recommend the name Battlehells the Failure.
Battlehell the Failure of Cannons.
And I do so wish I could play out the finality of this fortress as had earlier been suggested (I had been away a bit, due to the slowdown). I will content myself with committing to (virtual) paper Catalyst's closing anguished thoughts. :)
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 09:59:20 pm
@Deathsword: I may incorporate electric bass, but I'm not sure yet.
@Sinpwn: That would be awesome.
Anyone else want to fight over the remaining 5 starting dwarves? Aussie and I both claim one.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 06, 2011, 10:01:04 pm
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 10:05:34 pm
Mego - Expedition Leader, Miner
Aussie
Urist Imiknorris - Mason
(4 others)
Claim a profession you want. I'll probably use 2 miners, a woodcutter, a mason, a cook/butcher, an axedwarf, and a farmer. Suggestions to modifications to the starting 7 are also appreciated.
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 10:06:41 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 06, 2011, 10:28:36 pm
The starting 7 look like this:
Mego - Expedition Leader, Miner
Aussie
Urist Imiknorris - Mason
(4 others)
Claim a profession you want. I'll probably use 2 miners, a woodcutter, a mason, a cook/butcher, an axedwarf, and a farmer. Suggestions to modifications to the starting 7 are also appreciated.
I want to be broker, architect and manager if possible. The perfect place for scheming - right under the Expedition Leader's nose...
Post by: The Master on November 06, 2011, 10:31:21 pm
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 10:33:51 pm
The starting 7 look like this:
Mego - Expedition Leader, Miner
Aussie
Urist Imiknorris - Mason
Deathsword
gamewizardinnc - Axedwarf
The Master - Miner
(1 other)
Claim a profession you want. I'll probably use 2 miners, a woodcutter, a mason, a cook/butcher, an axedwarf, and a farmer. Suggestions to modifications to the starting 7 are also appreciated.
I forgot about Deathsword. Since he'll be the first overseer, he deserves a spot in the starting 7. Aussie, you need to be a useful starting profession first.
Sniped: Sorry, The Master took the other miner.
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 10:39:11 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 06, 2011, 10:43:13 pm
The starting 7 look like this:
Mego - Expedition Leader, Miner
Aussie
Urist Imiknorris - Mason
Deathsword
gamewizardinnc - Axedwarf
The Master - Miner
(1 other)
Claim a profession you want. I'll probably use 2 miners, a woodcutter, a mason, a cook/butcher, an axedwarf, and a farmer. Suggestions to modifications to the starting 7 are also appreciated.
I forgot about Deathsword. Since he'll be the first overseer, he deserves a spot in the starting 7. Aussie, you need to be a useful starting profession first.How about miner? You could dig us to Hell!
Sniped: Sorry, The Master took the other miner.
Alright, I'll take the mason then
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 06, 2011, 10:43:59 pm
gamewizard, that raises a good question - what kind of horrifying site should we embark in?
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 10:46:36 pm
Post by: Gizogin on November 06, 2011, 10:48:58 pm
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 10:50:49 pm
The originally-planned embark site:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
EDIT: Also, I'm not sure that Aluorna has a volcano.
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 10:56:35 pm
We'll make an artificial volcano.
Post by: Scaraban on November 06, 2011, 10:57:46 pm
So, gentledwarfs, we have a problem....Damn it
Boozedwarf has just killed Scaraban, and I simply can't find his name on the slab list to stop the murders.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 06, 2011, 10:59:42 pm
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 11:01:28 pm
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 11:03:45 pm
The starting 7 look like this:
Mego - Expedition Leader, Miner
Aussie - Cook/Butcher
Urist Imiknorris - Mason
Deathsword
gamewizardinnc - Axedwarf
The Master - Miner
(1 other)
Remaining professions: Axedwarf, Woodcutter.
I'll look at finding a more horrifying site, then. The regen didn't preserve what sites had what surroundings.
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 11:05:31 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 06, 2011, 11:09:12 pm
Post by: Sinpwn on November 06, 2011, 11:09:59 pm
Post by: Scaraban on November 06, 2011, 11:11:03 pm
Anyone else find it ironic that the fortress failed to build a cannon of any kind during it's lifetime?We made a reservoir that floods when we accidentally pull the lever when trying to open the gate, that's just as good right?
Scaraban that won't be much of a problem as we already pulled the "Faillever". And if by some ungodly force FailCannon pulls through, I'm not sure what we'll do.Yes, but I was this close to making it to F-Day. Then boozedwarf screwed me over.
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 11:12:56 pm
To make up for that Scaraban, if the fortress falls on one of my turns, I'll make sure you pull the doomsday lever.
Post by: Gizogin on November 06, 2011, 11:14:28 pm
Post by: Scaraban on November 06, 2011, 11:15:49 pm
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 11:19:40 pm
The starting 7 look like this:
Mego - Expedition Leader, Miner
Aussie - Cook/Butcher
Urist Imiknorris - Mason
Deathsword - Woodcutter
gamewizardinnc - Axedwarf
The Master - Miner
Sinpwn - Axedwarf
Remaining professions: Axedwarf, Woodcutter.
I'll look at finding a more horrifying site, then. The regen didn't preserve what sites had what surroundings.
All starting dwarves have been claimed. I found this site for the fortress:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Any objections?
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 11:22:07 pm
Post by: Scaraban on November 06, 2011, 11:22:38 pm
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 11:23:25 pm
Post by: Scaraban on November 06, 2011, 11:24:39 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 06, 2011, 11:25:14 pm
EDIT: That is a great site.
gamewizard: It's freezing, so you wouldn't really have to worry much (except for dwarves trying to take a shortcut through the rapidly-freezing water).
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 11:26:23 pm
EDIT: Really Urist I thought since aquifer waters were underground they wouldn't freeze?
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 11:29:02 pm
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 11:29:55 pm
Post by: Sinpwn on November 06, 2011, 11:32:56 pm
Edit: Are we making a new thread or just using this one?
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 11:36:47 pm
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 11:37:30 pm
Post by: The Master on November 06, 2011, 11:38:01 pm
Post by: gamewizardinnc on November 06, 2011, 11:39:35 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 06, 2011, 11:40:18 pm
Post by: The Master on November 06, 2011, 11:40:22 pm
Long live FailCannon!!!BEGIN THE PORTAL SONG!
this was a triumph,
Post by: Mego on November 06, 2011, 11:52:30 pm
Is Hellcannon an acceptable name?
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 06, 2011, 11:58:02 pm
Post by: The Master on November 06, 2011, 11:58:41 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KR7sE13fUk
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 06, 2011, 11:59:01 pm
Post by: The Master on November 07, 2011, 12:04:35 am
Post by: Mego on November 07, 2011, 12:11:14 am
because we can,
Post by: Mego on November 07, 2011, 12:15:10 am
Post by: The Master on November 07, 2011, 12:17:21 am
Post by: EmeraldWind on November 07, 2011, 01:12:36 am
It would be interesting to see what the fort looks like.
you just keep trying until you
Post by: Mego on November 07, 2011, 01:14:35 am
Post by: Eric Blank on November 07, 2011, 01:18:23 am
I curse myself for missing today's discussions in this thread...
Who would still be interested in composing some sort of "Epic of Aluonra"?
And the !!SCIENCE!! gets done
Post by: The Master on November 07, 2011, 01:35:47 am
Post by: Mego on November 07, 2011, 01:36:56 am
and you make a neat cannon,
for the dwarves who are
Post by: The Master on November 07, 2011, 01:41:06 am
Post by: Strategia on November 07, 2011, 06:55:17 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 07, 2011, 07:19:01 am
Post by: Dariush on November 07, 2011, 08:05:38 am
Post by: Mego on November 07, 2011, 08:12:05 am
Post by: Teneb on November 07, 2011, 10:45:04 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 07, 2011, 10:49:13 am
Something was gnawing on them
Post by: Dariush on November 07, 2011, 01:57:35 pm
Post by: Teneb on November 07, 2011, 02:05:20 pm
Post by: rampaging-poet on November 07, 2011, 03:18:38 pm
For all interested musicians...
I'm a little out of practice, but I can probably record one of the flute parts.
Post by: kisame12794 on November 07, 2011, 03:21:59 pm
Post by: Sinpwn on November 07, 2011, 03:36:12 pm
The MC2DF only works on 40d version. Also I don't think the minecrafter would make it out with his sanity intact. Or his life. Or they may not make it out at all.I'm pretty sure It actually does work with fully 3d levels. I'm going to try it if it is possible.
Post by: Johuotar on November 07, 2011, 03:51:02 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 07, 2011, 03:53:33 pm
Also check the DFHack changelog:
Quote from: 0.31.25 r8:
Added the DF to Minecraft map converter (command 'df2minecraft'). It is still experimental and can crash, but have fun with it :) (All OS)
Post by: Sinpwn on November 07, 2011, 04:19:33 pm
Post by: Scaraban on November 07, 2011, 04:21:18 pm
Post by: Johuotar on November 07, 2011, 04:28:31 pm
Post by: The Master on November 07, 2011, 04:29:55 pm
They made a version of the converter designed for 0.31.25.
Post by: kisame12794 on November 07, 2011, 04:33:10 pm
Post by: Sinpwn on November 07, 2011, 04:34:58 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Master on November 07, 2011, 04:36:00 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on November 07, 2011, 04:36:16 pm
Post by: Sinpwn on November 07, 2011, 04:37:53 pm
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. How much is there?I haven't been able to see due to the massive lag of rendering the fortress, but it seems that most, if not all of it is there.
Post by: Scaraban on November 07, 2011, 04:41:43 pm
Post by: Sinpwn on November 07, 2011, 04:42:59 pm
What blocks does it assign for block types it doesn't know? Just random?From what I see, either doesn't add them at all, adds an odd gray static texture, or turns it into stone.
Edit: Trying to get some more pics up as soon as the lag stops.
Post by: kisame12794 on November 07, 2011, 07:47:18 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 07, 2011, 08:10:37 pm
And with strange aeons, even Death may die.
Post by: MagmaMcFry on November 07, 2011, 08:11:47 pm
That is not dead which can eternal lieDun dun DUN.
And with strange aeons, even Death may die.
Post by: Eric Blank on November 07, 2011, 08:13:49 pm
And Withona, that nutty FB in the sea, came and killed me, Mormota, and Catalyst with it's paralyzing and probably rot-inducing vapors. They died too fast to tell...
Other than that, nothing interesting has happened. Just water everywhere, pouring down the various holes, not really flooding much... The sea won't be able to keep up with the massive pit that is this fortress+caverns, I think.
And urist, that is actually a pretty awesome quote, fitting for this world. Where did you get it, if you didn't come up with it on the spot?
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 07, 2011, 08:15:25 pm
And urist, that is actually a pretty awesome quote, fitting for this world. Where did you get it, if you didn't come up with it on the spot?H.P. Lovecraft.
It's especially fitting considering that the save can float around the internet forever, long after we the players (Death) are gone.
Post by: Eric Blank on November 07, 2011, 08:50:32 pm
Also, I think the lever pulling, and all of it's effects, is what fixed the FBs' pathfinding. Truly was such a glorious maze that none could comprehend it; not even the dwarves, who relied on the gods.
EDIT:
Migrants just arrived. Two of 'em. This fortress just doesn't know how to die, does it?
Post by: kisame12794 on November 07, 2011, 09:24:09 pm
Post by: The Master on November 07, 2011, 09:25:24 pm
The last of our great expedition fell to the flood of the sea,
We quake with fear,
For we know it's our time,
To leave our mighty fort behind,
Let us not forget how we bested hell,
Time and time again,
We shall not die,
We shall not forget,
How we thrived so very long,
Time to say good bye,
And leave our mighty fort behind,
For if we don't,
We surely won't see another drink ever again...
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 07, 2011, 09:28:35 pm
It just so dammed good at living, and it just hasn't kicked the habit.
Living? I think not. Failing to die? Yes. Failcannon is more of an undead monstrosity than any of the creatures in the Plain of Ooze could hope to be.
Post by: Strategia on November 07, 2011, 10:14:00 pm
Bb Trumpet
Tuba
I know some people who're willing to do this.
Post by: Mego on November 07, 2011, 11:01:42 pm
Post by: The Master on November 07, 2011, 11:49:39 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 08, 2011, 01:06:34 am
It came to pass, at last-
(at last)
-that Andreus, wandering soul, ancient beyond my ken, fell-
(or was it his own inscrutable will?)
-to the machinations of fell Led, and with lever's pull, did unmake what countless doomed generations built-
(more their deaths' work than their lives')
-the endless tombs tumbled, signalling doom with their roar, as thousands of tortured souls were cut loose from their moor-
(now has come the day we dread, the gates torn asunder, ghosts beasts and demons screaming in their shaken hive)
-and thus it begins, the end, unending.
My vigil continues. I make every breath in living lungs my watchfire. I shall stand sentry here at the end of all things, heedless. The wails of the damned I shall make my warm cloak against the night. Every panicked, mad, anguished thought, mortal or immortal or diabolic, I drink them in. They are my warm draught and fortitude. My vigil continues.
I see it now. Led has torn the world asunder. She has succeeded in splitting Energy and Time - and now there is only Chaos and the cold Hell of eternity. But even this gives me hope. I shall seep in at the cracks. I dissolve myself only to lurk in the corners of every mind - in every time. Waiting. Watching. Anticipating when my time will come again. Ready for my return. Prepared to resume the fight. Keeping my vigil.
~~~~~~~~
See you in the next fort.
Post by: Johuotar on November 08, 2011, 02:28:57 am
Migrants just arrived. Two of 'em. This fortress just doesn't know how to die, does it?
Sounds like the fort doesn't want to die. I feel we have been too hasty with the sequel. :-\
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 08, 2011, 02:35:29 am
Post by: arcangelsd on November 08, 2011, 07:23:14 am
Post by: Ieb on November 08, 2011, 07:39:46 am
Although I honestly think that the lever pull was a stupid move. Even when "everyone was torn apart by angry ghosts" is amusing, it's the only likely outcome now and that's boring. Battlefailed end was great because it just came out of nowhere.
Although it is still possible to tend to all the angry ghosts and put slabs everywhere. For the ones that are possible to have a slab engraved for 'em that is.
And hey, maybe we'll get lucky and fail to lose the fort? Now that'd be a TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST.
Post by: Teneb on November 08, 2011, 07:59:09 am
Post by: Mego on November 08, 2011, 09:07:48 am
Post by: Urist McJoeBloggs on November 08, 2011, 09:52:44 am
Oh and CatalystParadox, ThisAussieGuy and Urist really made my day when I read the quoted stuff in my sig. You guys are a riot! I wonder if I should seek CatalystParadox's permission for sigging that first quote :P I'll do the next best thing and ask for his permission to put his name on the quote :P
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 08, 2011, 09:57:36 am
Post by: Teneb on November 08, 2011, 10:32:00 am
Delayed Cave-ins
Pathing problems
Increased FPS
Brought more attention to Battlefailed and it's sequels
Looks like it was a good idea after all.
Post by: nighzmarquls on November 08, 2011, 11:12:45 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 08, 2011, 11:14:56 am
Post by: arcangelsd on November 08, 2011, 11:36:18 am
Post by: Teneb on November 08, 2011, 11:56:08 am
Post by: EmeraldWind on November 08, 2011, 12:03:14 pm
So let's see... Failday has fixed:
Delayed Cave-ins
Pathing problems
Increased FPS
Brought more attention to Battlefailed and it's sequels
Looks like it was a good idea after all.
I wonder how it did that though. Is it because of the destruction of all the coffins, slabs, and corpses in the tomb?
Or some other reason?
Either way I think pulling the lever is going to be the end of the fort, maybe not immediately but something is going to happen. Just a matter of time. Maybe. This is Failcannon after all.
Post by: Eric Blank on November 08, 2011, 12:12:01 pm
It looks like one of the other collapses that occured was the collapse of the door monument, taking everything below with it including the massive shaft through the caverns.
The other collapse was... something with four statues on top of it, because they're still floating up there. Adjacent to catalysts' cell. That's the one that killed a dorf on the stairway.
Also, Andreus XI' ghost REALLY hates cats.
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 08, 2011, 12:29:41 pm
Post by: EmeraldWind on November 08, 2011, 12:33:32 pm
It looks like one of the other collapses that occured was the collapse of the door monument, taking everything below with it including the massive shaft through the caverns.
The other collapse was... something with four statues on top of it, because they're still floating up there. Adjacent to catalysts' cell. That's the one that killed a dorf on the stairway.
... Door monument? That was in THIS fort? Man, I felt like I read that ages ago. I guess... I did, but wow.
So how many collapses were there? More than two from the sound of it.
And now we have floating statues? Hmmm, I wonder if this is the same glitch that caught those two miners in Battlefailed.
Post by: Eric Blank on November 08, 2011, 12:36:30 pm
Floating buildings is a different bug/feature.
Also, why the hell would we want to patch reality back together? The ghosts must go to battle, and they couldn't win if reality wasn't broken!
Also, two more forgotten beasts showed up.
Before the beast got up the stairs, Boozedorf's ghost scared Andreus to death. When it did get into the fort, Arcangelsd was the first to go. Everyone is fighting it now. An enormous quadruped composed of solid salt. Not much chance of successfully killing it with Gizogin being the only one armed, with a crossbow, and lying on the ground. Sinclair was also armed, but
The living are now five;
Gizogin
ThatAussieDwarf
Kirby
Deathsword III
Catalyst III
Poor bastards...
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 08, 2011, 01:03:30 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on November 08, 2011, 01:08:04 pm
They're absolved of their crimes, though, and don't pick up any new ones for ghostly misconduct.
The flooding is unstoppable now; Oman, the beast, destroyed one of the floodgates. Oh well :P
Ledi V's skeleton was washed into the hospital. A little late for a checkup, don't you think? Wait... It just disappeared... What the hell?
Also also; Boozedwarf scared Andreus XIII to death while he was eating his dinner in that really awesome dining room I assigned my dorf. Choked on fisher berries. And Deathsword just ran off with the exceptional fisher berry roast.
And my latest dorf came back as a ghost... Forlorn haunt. Boring.
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 08, 2011, 01:24:16 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 08, 2011, 01:24:58 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on November 08, 2011, 01:28:29 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 08, 2011, 01:29:02 pm
Speaking of the OP - is it fair to say we may have declared the fort dead prematurely?
Edit - if you want to upload your current Eric I won't object.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 08, 2011, 01:31:16 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 08, 2011, 01:35:01 pm
This fortress is a zombie.
To the bitter end! Besides, it only dipped to Pop: 1 briefly.
Post by: Eric Blank on November 08, 2011, 01:35:51 pm
Honestly I don't think we could even say the fortress is undead; it's just one of those deaths that takes hours of agony to finally end. You know, most of them.
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 08, 2011, 01:49:10 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on November 08, 2011, 02:43:55 pm
Let's say it was a impostor xD
I would like to write something and contribute to the story, but my PC has broken down (eerily, the same day in which failday happened. It was really creepy)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 08, 2011, 03:06:18 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on November 08, 2011, 06:14:26 pm
So that's where all the ghosts went.You... You mean my PC?
Actually, that would explain why the motherboard and the electrical part (electricity feeder? Don't know in english) just... Broke. At the same time. For no good reason. And all that whole working fine just 30 minutes ago
I'm scared now.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 08, 2011, 06:18:25 pm
So that's where all the ghosts went.You... You mean my PC?
Actually, that would explain why the motherboard and the electrical part (electricity feeder? Don't know in english) just... Broke. At the same time. For no good reason. And all that whole working fine just 30 minutes ago
I'm scared now.
Yep. You're haunted by the ghosts of Failcannon's dead.
Post by: kisame12794 on November 08, 2011, 06:29:35 pm
Arcangelsd has been struck down
Post by: The Master on November 08, 2011, 06:31:50 pm
the electrical part (electricity feeder? Don't know in english)Type it in your main language, then translate it with google.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 08, 2011, 06:34:50 pm
Post by: Mego on November 08, 2011, 07:00:48 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on November 08, 2011, 07:31:56 pm
Post by: rridgway on November 08, 2011, 07:44:50 pm
Johuotar, how many survived the Failday?
Everyone except Rrigdway.
No! What a way to go, huh?
Post by: The Master on November 08, 2011, 07:46:54 pm
Post by: Mego on November 08, 2011, 07:52:31 pm
Post by: Urist McJoeBloggs on November 08, 2011, 08:32:09 pm
Why are so many TV trope names being changed into boring and descriptive ones >:(
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 08, 2011, 08:37:48 pm
THIS! IS! FAILCANNON! (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PunctuatedForEmphasis)
WARNING! (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoIndoorVoice) TV Tropes (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TVTropesWillRuinYourLife)!
Regardless of Failcannon's state of life or death (it's actually a superposition of both), all that was needed for Hellcannon's storyline was for Failday to happen. Pulling the lever started the resetting of the universe. The (un)dead are just duking it out now while the process happens.
Totally - simultaneous forts could be awesome - if Failcannon manages to stagger along a few years, maybe there can even be some kind of final crossover/tie-in!
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 08, 2011, 08:38:08 pm
Wasn't the trope called "This! Is! Sparta!"? (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheyChangedItNowItSucks)"Alt Titles: This Is SPARTA..."
Why are so many TV trope names being changed into boring and descriptive ones >:(
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 08, 2011, 08:42:23 pm
Wasn't the trope called "This! Is! Sparta!"? (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheyChangedItNowItSucks)
Why are so many TV trope names being changed into boring and descriptive ones >:(
Ever tried looking for tropes to humorously explain what you mean? Descriptive names are helpful for that. Also descriptive names are useful because they are timeless, like tropes themselves, instead of tied to a specific instance of the trope.
P.S. *cough* Knitted Beards (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=96112.0)
Post by: Mego on November 08, 2011, 08:46:14 pm
Regardless of Failcannon's state of life or death (it's actually a superposition of both), all that was needed for Hellcannon's storyline was for Failday to happen. Pulling the lever started the resetting of the universe. The (un)dead are just duking it out now while the process happens.
Totally - simultaneous forts could be awesome - if Failcannon manages to stagger along a few years, maybe there can even be some kind of final crossover/tie-in!
They are already tied together. It's a sequel that is connected in a convoluted manner that I have planned out.
Post by: Gizogin on November 08, 2011, 08:58:06 pm
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 08, 2011, 09:15:24 pm
Post by: Mego on November 08, 2011, 09:18:20 pm
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 08, 2011, 09:44:22 pm
Post by: Mego on November 08, 2011, 10:30:11 pm
Post by: The Master on November 08, 2011, 11:28:05 pm
MiRaClEs.SO SAYS ARMOK!
Post by: Eric Blank on November 09, 2011, 01:42:51 am
Sucks that most women find it ugly and a sign of poor hygene :-\
Anyway, here's that save I was uploading 11 hours ago. I got distracted by taking my friend to buy shoes for her late birthday present. We wasted much time.
http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=5166
Post by: Mego on November 09, 2011, 08:07:44 am
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 09, 2011, 10:07:43 am
Post by: Eric Blank on November 09, 2011, 05:11:46 pm
Unfortunately I can't open the copy I still had from before Failday. It's just crashing.
Post by: rridgway on November 09, 2011, 05:23:48 pm
Well, I'm not entirely sure how many were present before Failday, but there's at least 1 more; my ghost.
Unfortunately I can't open the copy I still had from before Failday. It's just crashing.
Fitting, as we did just reboot the universe.
Post by: Mego on November 09, 2011, 06:58:18 pm
How can I be here? Just a few moments ago, I was being torn apart by a skeletal elk. Now, I'm seeing the end of this fortress by water and ghosts from above.
This looks like Failcannon. But, wasn't Failcannon just a story, told to young dwarves so they wouldn't run off and start their own forts without the queen's permission? The layout, the chaos, the Vast Expletive welcoming visitors to the fortress... There is no mistaking it. This is Failcannon. This is Failday.
Oh crap. The universe is resetting, and I'm stuck here.
Oh CRAP.
Wait... Is that another one of them? I have to hope so. I have nothing to lose. I must return to Hellcannon (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=96005.0) and tell them what I have seen.
My Armok, it's full of stars!
(the rest of the page is ripped off)
Post by: Eric Blank on November 10, 2011, 12:59:26 pm
Thusly, Hellcannon is digging up the ruined last stand of Ura and Led, in the hopes of putting them down for good.
Sounds about right. :P
Well, two more migrants arrived, then kirby got scared to death by boozedwarf. The water is only creating pathing problems and sometimes someone will fall in the bedroom directly beneath the now-ruined control room, but walk out through the door. I should lock that door, heh.
Post by: Ieb on November 10, 2011, 03:31:11 pm
Right now though the story is starting to remind me of that SomethingAwful succession fort, Syrup-something.
You know, the one with pants-on-head-retarded plot with timetravel, evil corporations out to destroy the world and so on?
Post by: Eric Blank on November 10, 2011, 03:42:38 pm
Syrupleaf, actually. Never read it all.
Welp. Deathsword drowned in that room shortly after I posted that and locked the door. Then Catalyst was scared to death by DuckThatQuacks' second ghost; This one murderous. No way to figure out which one is older at the moment... Fortress is going downhill at this point, and very soon the fortress will be abandoned by the living and Ura will march on the dead. They will be prepared though.
Post by: The Master on November 10, 2011, 03:46:33 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on November 10, 2011, 03:49:13 pm
Maybe I read one of them all the way... There were more, I remember.
Anyway, Lor, one of the migrants, took a great fall down the chasm shaft and I expect him to explode on impact. Who calls his soon-to-be corpse?
I made some block/bar floors to let the gobbos in, with 3 dorfs left it will be amusing watching them run in circles...
Post by: Teneb on November 10, 2011, 03:50:46 pm
How is Andreus, anyway?
Post by: Eric Blank on November 10, 2011, 03:52:20 pm
The most recent Andreus is dead. The ghosts of the dwarves he possessed are having a party.
Post by: Teneb on November 10, 2011, 03:53:14 pm
How is Andreus, anyway?
Post by: Eric Blank on November 10, 2011, 03:53:51 pm
"The most recent Andreus is dead. The ghosts of the dwarves he possessed are having a party."
Post by: Gizogin on November 10, 2011, 04:00:54 pm
EDIT: would I be correct in guessing that I'm the most recent of the surviving dwarfs currently in Failcannon?
Post by: Eric Blank on November 10, 2011, 04:05:47 pm
Aaand:
-The goblins take their first tentative steps inside the fortress walls. They are caught in the cage traps. Damn.
-Lor dies on impact with the bottom of the cavern lake, spreading pieces everywhere
-Kel, the other migrant, falls into that room full of water and drowns.
-ThatAussieDwarf proceed to do nothing.
-A new forgotten beast shows up! Wow, they love this place. Having your feet rot off must be like eating candy and sex for them...
Edit:
- Gizogin is ambushed by kobolds.
Looks like you're out of luck if you can't beat them down unarmed, Giz :P
Yet another beast has arrived! Holy carp!
Post by: Gizogin on November 10, 2011, 04:13:31 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on November 10, 2011, 04:17:55 pm
ThatAussieDwarf came upstairs to do something, and decided to pick a fight with that other kobold you injured, who proceeded to kick his ass. They're both lying there in the courtyard taking potshots at each other between lapses in consciousness. Aussie is very unhappy and enraged at this point.
This is a masterful engraving of a dwarf, a kobold, and a ghostly figure. The dwarf is pissed off. The kobold is laughing and passing out. The ghostly figure is laughing. This image relates to the humiliation of ThatAussieDwarf by Plukrursnin the kobold and Twobeard the Ghostly Miner in Failcannon during the late spring of 541.
Edit:
3 more kobold ambushes were reported by an elven caravan, who were killed in a horrible fashion. One of the kobolds fell down a hole, washed in by water from the flooding tank that is now pretty much empty, and broke some bones 2 floors below. Two of the others came inside and brutally murdered ThatAussieDwarf, who was sitting there in the courtyard due to having lost the ability to stand when that other kobold stabbed her in the lower body, taking out the spine. Gizogin is the LMS;
Post by: Gizogin on November 10, 2011, 04:46:31 pm
Good luck, you nut.Aww, you really do care.
I thought you mentioned earlier that ThatAussieDwarf and I were two of three remaining dwarves. Who is/was the third? Or were you including one of the two most recent migrants in that count?
EDIT: if I'm not dead already, could I see my thoughts/preferences screen please?
Post by: Eric Blank on November 10, 2011, 04:49:28 pm
I opted to have you flee from the kobolds. You stripped off all your armor sometime during the fight and hid in your room, which has a hatch they can't open. Walking out there nearly naked and unarmed wouldn't be such a dwarfy death, so I'm hoping for the chance for you to put your brain back in your head and those adamantine chain leggings back on.
I changed my mind since they apparently weren't leaving and let you go out there anyway. Didn't last very long with those two kobold babes waiting right outside the door.
The fortress has fallen :P
Post by: Gizogin on November 10, 2011, 05:10:22 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on November 10, 2011, 05:11:28 pm
Yay, I was the last survivor of Failcannon. I died a noble death, taking down many more than my number before finally being struck down. Truly, a death any dwarf would envy.I always said you were the resident badass.
And then, is when Aussie's plans come into effect xD
Post by: The Master on November 10, 2011, 05:15:47 pm
Post by: Gizogin on November 10, 2011, 05:25:28 pm
I'm actually overjoyed. Failcannon lived well past several points where a lesser fortress would have died. I'm genuinely proud to have been a part of it, even moreso now that I can claim to have been a notable figure in its downfall.
I feel like making a vanity edit to the TVTropes page now...
Post by: The Master on November 10, 2011, 05:35:12 pm
I feel like making a vanity edit to the TVTropes page now...do it!
Post by: Teneb on November 10, 2011, 05:40:47 pm
Post by: Gizogin on November 10, 2011, 05:44:25 pm
Done.I feel like making a vanity edit to the TVTropes page now...do it!
Spoiler: Under "Badass:" (click to show/hide)
Post by: Teneb on November 10, 2011, 05:47:00 pm
You can do better than that. You know it. Add that you stripped all armor and that you made your last stand naked.Done.I feel like making a vanity edit to the TVTropes page now...do it!Spoiler: Under "Badass:" (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Master on November 10, 2011, 06:31:19 pm
Gentlemen. Not only did we survive the most pointless of all pointless doomsday devices, but we died to kobolds. That's a whole new level of fail. Eric, please upload the file, I want to challenge all who see this to try and reclaim this madhouse.I HAVE AN IDEA! WHAT IF THE RECLAIMATION TEAM AT BATTLEFAILED MET THE PEOPLE HEADING TO FAILCANNON TO RECLAIM?!
Post by: Teneb on November 10, 2011, 06:32:27 pm
I'll buzz over at the battlefailed reclaim thread and tell them Failcannon is open for reclaimersGentlemen. Not only did we survive the most pointless of all pointless doomsday devices, but we died to kobolds. That's a whole new level of fail. Eric, please upload the file, I want to challenge all who see this to try and reclaim this madhouse.I HAVE AN IDEA! WHAT IF THE RECLAIMATION TEAM AT BATTLEFAILED MET THE PEOPLE HEADING TO FAILCANNON TO RECLAIM?!
... as soon as Eric uploads the bloody thing.
Post by: Gizogin on November 10, 2011, 06:34:25 pm
Oh, okay. I'll "fix" it. After all, who needs modesty?You can do better than that. You know it. Add that you stripped all armor and that you made your last stand naked.Done.I feel like making a vanity edit to the TVTropes page now...do it!Spoiler: Under "Badass:" (click to show/hide)
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 10, 2011, 08:04:32 pm
Post by: Teneb on November 10, 2011, 08:26:22 pm
What, no xanatos chessmaster for That Aussie Dwarf? He escaped most of the really dangerous events (spent the loyalty cascade safely in hospital and was generally either 'on break' or just absent from fighting or attacks the rest of the time)
Curiously, I named your profession "Xanatos Rouleteer" right before Failday.
Post by: Gizogin on November 10, 2011, 11:12:25 pm
ThatAussieDwarf was also one of the last two survivors, which is a major accomplishment in Failcannon (not as impressive as my own, of course :P).What, no xanatos chessmaster for That Aussie Dwarf? He escaped most of the really dangerous events (spent the loyalty cascade safely in hospital and was generally either 'on break' or just absent from fighting or attacks the rest of the time)
Curiously, I named your profession "Xanatos Rouleteer" right before Failday.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 10, 2011, 11:24:46 pm
ThatAussieDwarf was also one of the last two survivors, which is a major accomplishment in Failcannon (not as impressive as my own, of course :P).What, no xanatos chessmaster for That Aussie Dwarf? He escaped most of the really dangerous events (spent the loyalty cascade safely in hospital and was generally either 'on break' or just absent from fighting or attacks the rest of the time)
Curiously, I named your profession "Xanatos Rouleteer" right before Failday.
Wow, really? What did the others die of? And who's the other surviving dwarf? Oh, and is he finally the Mayor like he always schemed to be?
Post by: Gizogin on November 10, 2011, 11:35:44 pm
...ThatAussieDwarf was also one of the last two survivors, which is a major accomplishment in Failcannon (not as impressive as my own, of course :P).What, no xanatos chessmaster for That Aussie Dwarf? He escaped most of the really dangerous events (spent the loyalty cascade safely in hospital and was generally either 'on break' or just absent from fighting or attacks the rest of the time)
Curiously, I named your profession "Xanatos Rouleteer" right before Failday.
Wow, really? What did the others die of? And who's the other surviving dwarf? Oh, and is he finally the Mayor like he always schemed to be?
You haven't been following the last few pages, have you?
In the interest of providing honest answers to your questions;
Yes. Until a kobold killed you.
Many, many things, from falling in a pit to falling in a flooded room.
It was me (I was the last survivor), but I died too.
No, sorry.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 11, 2011, 12:22:28 am
No, sorry.
Damn. All that contrived and complicated scheming for nothing. Better luck in Hellcannon, I suppose
edit: the thought occurs that if he truly was a scheming villain, then
A kobold killed you.
really would be the most appropriate ironic death. I'm surprised there were any left around Failcannon.
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 11, 2011, 12:37:16 am
Catalyst was scared to death by DuckThatQuacks' second ghost; This one murderous.He always was rather frightening.
Fortress is going downhill at this point,BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA when has it ever not been?!
What, no xanatos chessmaster for That Aussie Dwarf? He escaped most of the really dangerous events (spent the loyalty cascade safely in hospital and was generally either 'on break' or just absent from fighting or attacks the rest of the time)
None of your whining! In this fort, we make our OWN vanity edits! :-D (do iiiiiiit)
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 11, 2011, 12:40:48 am
Post by: Scaraban on November 11, 2011, 12:45:32 am
I'll admit, having read back through the previous page of how my dwarf died, I'm half-expecting that as soon as everyone was dead and the kobolds had left, my dwarf just got up, removed his disguise, and proceeded to claim the remains of the haunted, corpse-filled fortress as his own now that no-one could get in his wayWell there's only one way to find out, fire up a reclaim, shit pants when you have an 8th friendly face on embark.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on November 11, 2011, 12:49:44 am
Well there's only one way to find out, fire up a reclaim, shit pants when you have an 8th friendly face on embark.
No-no he'd sneak in as part of the original seven, replacing one of them with a bad disguise and fake accent. The others would never suspect a thing and they'd never notice another dwarf corpse amongst all the ones already there. Even if it was missing it's clothes.
Post by: Gizogin on November 11, 2011, 02:21:25 am
Post by: LordSlowpoke on November 11, 2011, 12:03:38 pm
I'm pretty sure I'll be able to save this mess, somehow, just to kill it properly. Or reclaim it and then kill it if/when Eric uploads the save. What could possibly go wrong.
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 11, 2011, 02:15:42 pm
Failcannon's dead now? Well, it did it's fair share, that's what i can say. However, it did not die from the FAILCANNON, which I find unsatisfying, despite all the ghost releasing, universe shattering mess brought to it.
I'm pretty sure I'll be able to save this mess, somehow, just to kill it properly. Or reclaim it and then kill it if/when Eric uploads the save. What could possibly go wrong.
Of all freaking things, Kobolds finish it off...
You know... it's almost fitting.
Post by: Teneb on November 11, 2011, 03:12:57 pm
Failcannon's dead now? Well, it did it's fair share, that's what i can say. However, it did not die from the FAILCANNON, which I find unsatisfying, despite all the ghost releasing, universe shattering mess brought to it.FAILCANNON was in Battlefailed. This one had Failday.
I'm pretty sure I'll be able to save this mess, somehow, just to kill it properly. Or reclaim it and then kill it if/when Eric uploads the save. What could possibly go wrong.
Post by: Eric Blank on November 11, 2011, 03:59:18 pm
Gizogin only manage to kill one kobold in that fight; the lone one that was humiliating ThatAussieDwarf while passing out itself. ThatAussieDwarf didn't get any at all.
And I'll upload the save now. Have some patience!
Here it is; http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=5174
Post by: Darvi on November 11, 2011, 05:27:21 pm
Post by: Mego on November 11, 2011, 06:27:43 pm
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Post by: Eric Blank on November 11, 2011, 08:23:52 pm
And darvi, I think you drowned on my turn sometime last month. Honestly, there was no way to foresee the deaths caused by the STFO, besides the knowledge that it was a f%^&@!* deathtrap, so it was shutdown shortly afterward. Managed to claim another life in the process, though...
Post by: arcangelsd on November 11, 2011, 09:14:50 pm
Post by: Mego on November 11, 2011, 09:40:10 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on November 12, 2011, 04:47:30 am
The STFO is this fortress's FAILCANNON. It claimed more dwarven lives than non-dwarven ones.It only claimed dwarven lives. It was like an elephant, it was hungry for BLOOD!
Post by: Dariush on November 12, 2011, 06:27:47 am
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 12, 2011, 10:22:50 am
So wait, did ThatAussieDwarf have 0 kills during the entire run of the fortress?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Nah, during my turn at least Aussie had a few truly murderous moments.
Post by: Mego on November 12, 2011, 03:41:56 pm
Wait... in that case we should have named the next fortress 'STFO'. And the fourth one as whatever caused armageddon in the third. And so forth.
This would work if the forts progressed in a linear manner. But, they don't. After the universe-level reset on Failday, time went backwards to 200.
Post by: Eric Blank on November 13, 2011, 01:34:21 am
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 13, 2011, 01:37:36 am
How else did the landscape continue to erode/deposit sediment? :P
I think the bigger question would be "How else would the ocean transform into a frozen tundra?"
Post by: The Master on November 13, 2011, 01:56:37 am
I know the real reason! AN ICE GIANT TRIED TO SWIM! THAT'S WHY IT ALL FROZE! :PHow else did the landscape continue to erode/deposit sediment? :P
I think the bigger question would be "How else would the ocean transform into a frozen tundra?"
Post by: Mego on November 13, 2011, 02:05:47 pm
How else did the landscape continue to erode/deposit sediment? :P
Universe-level resets have bugs. You can't really expect it to come out the exact same after hard-resetting everything. The disc got scratched.
I think the bigger question would be "How else would the ocean transform into a frozen tundra?"
I'm not very good at reading maps. See the OP in Hellcannon.
Post by: Teneb on November 14, 2011, 03:35:13 pm
No one up for reclaim yet?
Post by: Gizogin on November 14, 2011, 03:38:28 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on November 14, 2011, 06:05:19 pm
It sounds exciting!
Same as Gizogin.
Post by: Eric Blank on November 14, 2011, 09:25:53 pm
Post by: arcangelsd on November 15, 2011, 01:52:10 am
Post by: Darvi on November 15, 2011, 03:00:44 am
Take that, science!
Post by: Strategia on November 15, 2011, 07:57:20 am
Did we just made reality itself commit suicide?
I think that sentence describes all of Failcannon.
Post by: arcangelsd on November 15, 2011, 09:00:23 am
Amen.Did we just made reality itself commit suicide?
I think that sentence describes all of Failcannon.
Also sigged.
Post by: Darvi on November 15, 2011, 09:01:38 am
Post by: The Master on November 15, 2011, 04:54:56 pm
Post by: Kirbypowered on November 15, 2011, 05:30:46 pm
I'll have to begin following Hellcannon or whatever the name be-eth.
Post by: arcangelsd on November 17, 2011, 04:16:37 am
I'll miss it.
(sorry 'bout the pseudo-necro, but I'm going to miss Failcannon)
Post by: Strategia on November 17, 2011, 04:47:52 am
Post by: Mego on November 17, 2011, 06:45:43 pm
I, personally, like the fact that there's been over 30,000 new threads on the forum between the start of Failcannon and the start of Hellcannon (thread #64258 vs. #96005), literally half again as many threads as there were when Failcannon got started, almost down to the hundred. This eldritch abomination in fortress form lasted an ungodsly long time.
It died on page 56. Bear in mind that I have my settings set so that I get 50 posts per page. Reply #2757 was the formal announcement of its death by Eric Blank. This has been, by far, one of the longest-lasting fortresses in LPDF history, as well as one of the longest threads for a succession fort.
Like someone mentioned before, Failcannon is too epic to ever really die. May it roll around in its eternal death spasms in peace.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 17, 2011, 06:53:04 pm
So yeah.
Post by: kisame12794 on November 17, 2011, 07:09:29 pm
Post by: Gizogin on November 17, 2011, 07:12:02 pm
Failcannon knows not the meaning of peace. OnlyFixed that for you.deatha perpetual state of near-death.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 17, 2011, 07:13:27 pm
Post by: Mego on November 17, 2011, 07:17:57 pm
Failcannon knows death, and it knows it is not truly dead.
Related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGFXGwHsD_A). Failcannon shows up at 0:56.
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 17, 2011, 09:07:28 pm
Post by: RabidAnubis on November 21, 2011, 08:11:26 pm
Post by: The Master on November 21, 2011, 08:12:22 pm
DEEP INSIDE I KNOW I'M SEXYLIES! THE FILTHY EARTH BOY LIES!!!
Post by: RabidAnubis on November 21, 2011, 08:19:54 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on November 21, 2011, 08:30:02 pm
Post by: The Master on November 21, 2011, 08:32:47 pm
Post by: Mego on November 21, 2011, 09:05:18 pm
Post by: The Master on November 21, 2011, 09:06:34 pm
Post by: Mego on November 21, 2011, 10:13:08 pm
If this does end up locked, I request that it stay unlocked long enough for me to deliver a gift unto the grave of Failcannon.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 21, 2011, 10:33:10 pm
Post by: Mego on November 21, 2011, 11:09:11 pm
This thread will not die by my hand.
Once again, your post and your avatar conflict. This time, it's Rose going grimdark.
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 22, 2011, 12:27:25 am
Post by: The Master on November 22, 2011, 02:17:41 am
Post by: Darvi on November 22, 2011, 02:21:06 am
If you are, go read this (http://www.mspaintadventures.com)
Post by: Mego on November 22, 2011, 02:34:09 am
Post by: Groveller on November 28, 2011, 11:11:29 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Mego on November 28, 2011, 07:23:24 pm
I got a few lines for a Failcannon song come to mind, but don't know what to do with them. So I'll leave them here to get them out of my head.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Failcannon now has material for an original metal song.
Post by: CatalystParadox on November 29, 2011, 12:09:32 am
... Don't judge me.