WARNING: THIS GAME IS CANON
It is the Year of our Lord Clispaeth: 2058.
Basketball is illegal.
Years ago, B-Ballers were the champions of society, the spectacular heroes that reached superhuman levels of Strength, Agility, Brain and Attitude. The game of Basketball was the ultimate test of skill and determination, a culmination of the most fantastic feats on the sacred Court.
That is, until the 2043 Nicks-Rockets Championship Game.
With two seconds on the clock and the Rockets down 118-119, Charles Barkley utilized the ultimate verboten slam, the Chaos Dunk. While this instantly won Barkley the game, the raw magnitude of the Dunk was strong enough to destroy both teams, the refs, the announcers, the court, the spectators, Barkley's wife, the stadium, and all of Manhattan while severely damaging the rest of New York City. Consequently, the government outlawed the game of Basketball, labeling it as an illicit activity which would foster death and chaos by the dark art of "Slamming and Jamming". Courts were demolished, street ballers were attacked by mobs, basketballs, jerseys, and Jordans were subject to huge bonfires.
The culiminaiton of anti-basketball was The Purge, the genocide of professional b-ballers.
Most NBA players will killed outright, the rest given lifelong sentences on prison spaceships such as the Necron 5. Some past stars turned coat and became vehement in their anti-basketball campaigns, the most shocking turn being Micheal Jordan, considered to possibly be the greatest b-baller of all time, attained the position of Head Commissioner Against Basketball and B-ball Related Activities. Jordan let Charles Barkley live, not out of pity, but to let Charles suffer as he watched Basketball disappear from the Earth, living the rest of his life in regret of the Chaos Dunk, now residing in Neo New York, rebuilt from the city that Charles had razed.
Then in 2058, Barkley had to flee as a sudden Second Chaos Dunk destroyed Neo-Manhatten, one that he had nothing to do with, but was still framed regardlessly.
A lot of stuff happened after that.
Charles Barkley pursued a series of evidence that led him to Necron 5, where he managed to finally kill Michael Jordon, and subsequently discovered that Shadow Barkley, a manifestation of all of his hatred and vengeance, had been the one who performed the Second Chaos Dunk. Shadow Barkley requested his counterpart join him as one to destroy the Earth and rebuild it as a true Basketball Utopia, but Charles saw through this ploy only as an attempt for the darkness to engulf his heart, brain, soul, and other vestigial organs. After a fight which lasted over 8 minutes, Barkley sacrificed himself to perform the Ultimate Chaos Dunk, obliterating Shadow Barkley and Necron 5. The world was safe once again.
5 Years later, the word of Barkley's tale has spread throughout the land. Several underground radical groups have sprung up, protesting the government's policy of Anti-Basketball. It is also the time that several otherwise regular citizens of United States Region 47NXA, under the reign of Governor-Prince Julian Nitros Obusha were awaken one night by the spirit of LeBron James, telling them all to convene in the basement of Xu Yi Shi's Tavern, a local landmark.
This is where their saga of death and life, tears and laughter, slams and jams, will all begin...
Balling:
Hey y'all, it's time to Jam. This revamp of the classic Basketball JRPG will tell the story of a party of otherwise unrelated folk coming together in a meeting of F.A.T.E., embarking on the Quest for the 8 Shards of the Miami Heat 2013 Championship Victory Basketball, an open-world journey that will take them all the way from the bustling metropolis of Neo-Atlanta, Neo-Georgia, to the eery desolation of Adamsville, Neo-Georgia, and maybe some other places too. Possibly.
Slamming:
The game plays like an open-world RPG; you've got your Inns, Items, Bad Fanart, all of it. You explore, do quests, talk to some freaks, try to find meaning in life, all while on this big-ass quest for the 8 Shards. Y'all know.
First time doing a Forum Roleplaying Game? Well, if you ain't busy learnin', you get busy dyin'.
The Dice Outcomes in this game will be hidden. Woooo, Secrets. The GM Dice System that will be used for this game includes: D20, D10, D6, D4, D1, D100, D1000, Sunny-D, D12 Feat. Eminem & Doctor Dre, Roulette Simulators, Horse Racing Simulators, Slot Machine Simulators, Simulator Simulators, Rock-Paper-Scissors, Coin Flips, Ouija Boards and Calling a Friend (one use per lifeline.) Of course, such a complex, kid-tested parent-approved system must have its true mechanics and outcomes known to only myself, in addition to my disciples. After all, "A Great GM never explains his tricks."
Battles will be fought in neo-classical optimal JRPG Fashion, with each character, player and enemy, performing an action to be completed in a battle turn-phase.
Health isn't listed in qualitative numbers, but rather general conditions such as "Fine", "Slightly Hurt", "Wounded", "Bleeding Profusely", "About to Die", and "Straight Up Gangsta'." Why this way instead of just numbers? As you can probably already tell, I'm trying to keep this game as realistically lifelike as possible.
Each character can aid themselves by equipping Weapons to extend damage output, Clothes to soften received blows and Bling to show off tacky jewelry.
All characters always have the option to do regular fighting stuff that anyone could perform; punches, kicks, grabs, throws, take-downs, anything a regular bozo off the street would know from watching a few action movies. However, each class has their own unique Techniques and Stratagems which they can use during a battle turn-phase, which will be listed below.
When a battle concludes, player characters will be rewarded with Experience, which levels their character up, and Neo-Shekels, the game's primary currency. Occasional, items may also be dropped as battle loot.
Each character has Attributes dependent on their Level, Class, and Race. These are the Major Attributes, though some lesser used, secret, nuanced Attributes also exist:
Strength - The raw damage potential your character has. Determines the extent to which targeted enemies will *Oof!* and *Barf*
Vitality - Toughness, willpower; shows off your skill in taking pain and injury without dying and how many Screwballs you can down when cute girls are watching.
Agility - Movement and general physical slickness. Handles turn-phase initiative as well as dodging.
Brains - Smartitude, measured by an objective scale like an IQ Test or a Puzzle Book. Also, overall ability you can do magic, cast spells and other pagan rituals.
Accuracy - Can you hit it sucka'?
BP - Short for Basketball Points, used to perform Stratagems.
Hidden Attributes - Wouldn't be hidden if I told you them right off the bat. They'll come up later.
During fights, certain Ailments can appear that tamper with Attributes. Many different types exist, but only these ones continue to persist post-battle:
Dysentery: Gradually chips away at your Health allowing you to empathize with the billions of settlers that died on the Oregon Trail. Cured by Joints.
Scurvy: Arrr matey, you won't be movin' fast with this 'rusement! Cured by Flintstones Vitamins.
Concussion: Brain damage would be a normal part of life if this were a Football RPG. Cured by Alcohol.
Glaucoma: Accuracy drops, Lil' Weezy gun-puns galore. Cured by Dip.
Polio: Lowers strength, too bad the vaccine was lost in the Cyberpockolypse. Cured by Steroids.
Jamming:
Each Occupation has its own varying levels of Attributes, as well as unique Technique and Stratagems. Upon Leveling up with enough Experience, Attributes increase, while new Techniques an Stratagems may be learned and/or old ones could be upgraded to be more powerful and efficient.
Each Occupation, as well as their initial T/S's from Level 1:
Baller: Even after the outlawing of B-Ball and dissolution of the N.B.A., a few brave souls still practice and play the sport regularly in secrecy, honing their skills with slams and jams. They arm themselves with Basketballs, typically donning Jerseys and Sweatbands or Jordans to increase their overall athleticism. Ballers have solid stats all around, but (with minor exceptions), their moves are limited to targeting a single enemy per turn.
Strength - 19
Vitality - 17
Agility - 18
Brains - 14
Accuracy - 16
BP - 20/20
Gumption - ∞
Techniques:
Free Throw - The Baller's only attack which can target multiple enemies, as they launch their ball twice in quick succession. Can target either one enemy twice, or two separate enemies. Low damage, moderate accuracy.
Pass Throw - Launches the basketball forward at maximum velocity. High damage, low accuracy.
Jump Shot - Leap high in the air to deliver an arcing attack. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Forward Jump Shot - Get all up into your foe's grill by moving up. High damage, high accuracy, increases recieved damage by 33% until next turn.
Fadeaway Jump Shot - Move backcourt with a defensive maneuver. Low Damage, high accuracy, decreases received damage by 33% until next turn.
Stratagems:
Pump Up! - Get hyped up for your next game, slightly increasing Strength and Agility. Costs 5 BP.
Doubleteam - Briefly duplicate yourself for a lightning fast flurry of basketball shots on your target. Costs 10 BP.
Zaubermancer: Dedicated, brilliant men and women of sound mind and body study the Art of Zaubers, ancient magical swords which allow them to reach superhuman potential. Zaubermancers wield Zaubers, wearing either Cool Robes or Longcoats, decked out in badass Shades. Zaubermancers are extraordinarily intelligent and notably fast, but are not the toughest of fighters.
Strength - Decent
Vitality - Poor
Agility - Good
Brains - Unfathomable
Accuracy - Average
BP - 32/32
Literacy Level - 1.3 War & Peace(s) Per Minutes
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
Non-Pacifist Monk: While all monks learn of the nature of nature and potent medicines, not all decide to forgo negative emotions and violence. In fact, some prefer to not turn the other cheek, and instead throw their problems through a window table before giving them a flying elbow drop to the forehead. Non-Pacifist Monks can perform many aspects of Healing, but in combat they prefer to be either Unarmed or equipped with Exotic, Seemingly Impractical Armaments. They are strong, tough, and smart, but quite slow.
Strength - 8/10
Vitality - 9.2/10
Agility - 3/10
Brains - 8/10
Accuracy - 6/10
BP - 30/30
Style - Hardcore Wrasslin'
Combo Meter: Rather than techniques, Non-Pacifist Monks fight with a Combo Meter, performing a chain of several small attacks to deal significant damage, each attack taking up a certain number of Combo Points. At the end of a Combo, a Non-Pacifist Monk can use a Finisher to deliver both damage and to reduce enemy Attributes. Initially, the Combo Meter can contain up to a total of 10 Combo Points.
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Tackle - Send them to the ground. Lowers Strength. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
Guns'braster: Gun's! Who doesn't love Gun's? Certainly not Gun'sbrasters, who employ guns as a means to 'brast their enemies to pieces and fill them full of lead or equivalent metals. Gun'sbrasters carry Gun's into battle, frequently spotted in Rollerblades. Guns'brasters have a wide variety of moves in addition to being deadly, quick and able to hit the side of a barn even if the barn was only measurably on a microscopic scale, but are among the weakest of classes.
Strength - B
Vitality - D
Agility - B+
Brains - C+
Accuracy - SSS+!
BP - 15/15
Hobbies - Shootin', Bladin', Overall Being Totally Rad
Techniques:
Accurate Shot - Line up the shot on your target for an almost guaranteed hit. Fairly-low damage, extremely high accuracy.
Rapid Shot - Gun down multiple targets with rapid gunfire. Targets up to four enemies. Low damage, moderate accuracy.
Mega Shot - Launch a powerful magic bullet designed to take out tough enemies. Very high damage, very low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Gun's Slay - Gracefully light up a foe in slow mo'. Costs 10 BP.
Poison Bullet - If you can't get them with the shot, let the infection take care of the rest. Moderate damage, and gives target Dysentery. Costs 5 BP.
Android: Part living organism, part robot, these cyber creatures dot the landscape, reminders of the tragedy that befell beings that were once 100% flesh. It sounds sad, but hey, lasers! Androids use Lasers. They are great fighters all around, though they lack diversity beyond using Lasers, and have unique weaknesses being demi-robots. But hey, lasers!
Strength - High
Vitality - Good
Agility - Yeah
Brains - Woo
Accuracy - Ayy'
BP - 18/18
Dreams - ?
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
Ghosts: Ghosts are physical embodiments of spirits who died, but can not ascend to the next dimension of reality due to a reason they may or may not know about, usually a regret or a curse by an obnoxious imp. Ghosts can utilize Ghost Weapons while shrouding themselves in Ghost Armor and Ghost Bling. Obviously, Ghosts are very strong and tough due to their ever present Ghost Muscles, and can buff up allies with their use of Ghost Powers. In other areas, they are mediocre.
Strength - GHOST!
Vitality - Ghost!
Agility - Ghost? Not really ghost.
Brains - Ghoul.
Accuracy - Zombambo.
BP - 20/20
Playlist: "Spooky Scary Skeletons", "Somebody's Watching Me", "Back from Tha' Grave", "Every Time We Touch"
Techniques:
Ghost Assault - Attacks an enemy with the strength of Ghosts. Moderately-high damage, moderate accuracy.
Spooky Divekick - A scary aerial maneuver which will rattle the bones of cowardly enemies. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, may inflict 'Spooked!'
Stratagems:
Ghost Muscle - Power up a friend with the enchantment of Ghost Muscles. Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Ghost Speed - Haunt your comrade with a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Swiftness. Increases Agility. Costs 10 BP.
Shinobi Technician: Shinobi Technicians are a modern branch of the Ninja, who seek to revive the lost style by taking a break from flashy, direct methods to return to a time of stealth and espionage. Ninjas carry appropriate weapons and gear. They are physically frail, but make up for it in unparalleled stealth.
Strength: ****
Vitality: **
Agility: ****
Brains: ***
Accuracy: ****
BP: 18/18
Stealth: *****************
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
Celtic Space Warlord - Angry Celtic Warlords from Space, known for their brutality ferocious fighting styles, and spunky slave spaceships. These Warlords have learned to become bloodthirsty, constantly conquering petty planets and fighting off space police. They carry Oversized Scary Things and wear Manly Man War Clothes. They are the apex of a physical fighter, though they lack cranial power and their unwieldy nature makes them fairly inaccurate.
stroness: gud
healthyness: stron
fastyness: vry fst
smrts: wut
axuracy: hit pesant
BP: 10/10
Literacy: Negligible
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
Ex-Intelligence Agent: [REDACTED]
Strength: ?
Vitality: ?
Agility: ?
Brains: ?
Accuracy: ?
BP: 20/20
[NOTE: BURN AFTER READING]
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
Thank you ma'am:
You'll find out there's a lot to learn about the world's variety of semi-interesting fauna. Here are the Playable Races:
Human: The most populous and generic species as in every great JRPG every created. We're the best after all, right behind Deities and Nekomimis.
Furries: Technology has finally gotten to the point where all your dreams of being a salamander-wolf-centaur can finally become true. Don't expect everyone to take you seriously at first.
B-Ball Mutants: Exposure to immense radiation of negative B-Ball energy has turned victims into hulking b-ball mutants, with their limbs replaced with balls and their skin transformed into orange rubber interspliced with black lines. A horrible fate, but they're always armed!
Duregar: A species of Dwarves that live deep underground, known for their work ethic, low intelligence and innate skill to dual-wield any weapons. Duregar's strive to have a constant supply of their must precious commodities; Rubies, Dunkaroos and Patriotic Quilts. Duregar's are eternal enemies with Genies, a race that only exist to take away Duregar civil rights.
Cyberdwarf: A total different Dwarven species that tend to live solitary lives, preferring to spend time on their spaceships and study the cosmos, though some have landed on Earth, intentionally or not.
Dragonkin: "I'm serious dude, totally part of the group. My grand-grandmother was half-dragon you see, which makes me at least like, an eighth. What? No I can't breath fire, racist asshole."
Sludge Elves: These swamp-based beings live in the swamp, subsisting off of tar. They tend
On second thought, fuck these guys.
Others: I trust that y'all know some interesting species? That's cool, just provide a brief explanation and I'll see if I can work it into the in-game world. One rule: No Sludge Elves.
Make Yourself Before You Break Yourself :
Name: In absence of government-provided name, best street nickname.
Gender: Male? Female? Both? None? Other?
Age: Due to Child Labor Laws from the union, no one under 13.
Race: Take your pick, or make your own. No Sludge Elves.
Occupation: Summoners need not apply.
Apperance: How you actually look, not a description of that cute Asian girl you pretend to be online.
Backstory: What school did you go to, what hood you grew up in. That stuff.
Not first-come-first-served, the best, most creative, thought-out, straight ballin' slam jammin' sheets will be selected. Everyone else will be put on the waitlist.
On The Court:
1. Harry Baldman (Doctor Bear)
2. lawastooshort (MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician)
3. Greenstarfanatic (Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao)
4. Xantalos (Krrosh Anvilhumper)
5. BlitzDungeoneer (Johnny Johnson the 2nd)
6. Tiruin (Sarah)
The Bench:
Shadestyle (Cyberdimention Wakka: 109)
Fr0stByt3 (Elise Malkovich)
UltraValican (Odie Oldman)
PrivateNomad (Agent 31)
Retried Players:
[Empty]
Name: Doctor Bear
Gender: INAPPLICABLE
Age: 19
Race: Furry, sort of.
Occupation: Android
Appearance:
Imagine a young woman, about five and a half feet tall, less than twenty years of age, with straight dark hair tied into twin tails. She has a cute face and expressive brown eyes. Her features are distinctly Asian, and has a purposeful look in her eyes. She is wearing a short beige dress with a small red cross on the chest area, and an equally beige cap with a red cross on it on her head as well as white shoes. Her voice is high and mildly girlish, though not gratingly so. Her teeth are white and straight, and her ears are of an unobtrusive, yet attractive size. Her hands seem to be delicate, and all of her movements graceful and well-coordinated. She is undeniably someone you could see yourself trusting your life with in a tough situation, or at least hoping to work up the courage to invite to dinner if you aren't currently in a situation that requires medical care.
Imagine all of the above, and you have an accurate image of Nurse Akane, Doctor Bear's right claw and de facto persona in all communications, Internet-based ones especially, although it omits several important facts - firstly, she can shoot lasers of a vast variety of colors out of her mouth and eyes, and secondly, from the small of her back protrudes the right forelimb of Doctor Bear itself, a metal-reinforced, chitin-covered tan thing about the circumference of three human legs bundled together, segmented into two halves. This limb leads back to the body of Doctor Bear - the tan shell of a giant (about six feet wide, five feet long and four feet thick) crab, eight furry metal-braced dark brown bear legs protruding from its sides and standing firmly on the ground and another, smaller, more regular claw (that nevertheless shoots lasers) on the other side.
The central shell is more reminiscent of a clam than a crab, albeit it is a beeping, booping thing of reasonable robotic complexity for this day and age. The reason for this particular allusion is that there is, obviously, no way a perfectly ordinary-looking, if menacing and irritable front half of a brown bear sans forelegs could hide inside the body of a crab - with a clam, it becomes much more plausible, you see. The bear, when approached, tends to growl and make unidentifiable bear noises, and typically only peeks out of its shell or, if additional angles of sight are required, pokes its head out to take a look.
Backstory:
They call it Doctor Bear, and Doctor Bear, through Nurse Akane, has apparently accepted this name for itself (Doctor Bear can only speak bear, unfortunately, and cannot directly claim its preference). It's not a real doctor, but it was a real bear. Rebuilt by a wealthy and reclusive, and also quite mutated sect of neohippies from what was formerly the fabled land of Cabinet-Yaak using state-of-the-art neohippie technology, Doctor Bear went from a terribly mutated, partly exploded wreck of a living being to a creature of purity: purity of essence, purity of purpose, purity of machine logic. It soon became the very symbol of the neohippie movement, and toured the apocalyptic wastes with its masters for many years before they, seconds from being overcome by maddened hordes of disenfranchised football fans in the dark labyrinths of subterranean Neo-Wyoming, beckoned Doctor Bear to leave them behind, allowing them to buy it time to escape, to seek freedom, for Doctor Bear in all its glory was more important than their very lives. Doctor Bear narrowly escaped with its mechanical life that day, and its next years were ones of great hardship and challenge, and also lack of guidance.
But ultimately Doctor Bear prevailed, and realized what it needed to succeed in its life - humanity. Drawing from its recordings of its dearest neohippie biotechnomancers, its human emulation and empathy subsystems (one of the more difficult challenges, for a Cabinet-Yaak bear knows nothing of empathy naturally - it was fortunate the neohippies thought to include such subsystems on Doctor Bear, for otherwise it would be nothing other than the engine of monstrous terror Nature originally intended it to be) and the Internet to create the perfect being to help it pass as effectively human, to create its very own ecological niche. That being was Nurse Akane, an extension of Doctor Bear's will, yet uniquely human and thought by Doctor Bear to be attractive on some level to most conventional human full organics. Construction of Nurse Akane proved decisively important, as with her help Doctor Bear managed to land both an apartment and a respectable job in United States Region 47NXA as an employee of a low-key call center dealing in tech, life and unlife support (or termination, as the case may be - the call center took calls from a great many megacorporations). And that brings us to this very day - Doctor Bear is a respected young professional in its field, but will its good luck last now that the specter of destiny looms before it?
Name: Terhune Bersan
Gender: Male
Age: b'tween 20 n' 35
Race: Black Stallion Man
Occupation: Guns'braster
Apperance: A Black Stallion Man who's always in supply of shades, stunna shades, aviators, yellow tinted shooting shades, and every other style you can think of, of course he's usually wearing shades. He usually wears an emerald green hoodie or a blue trench coat which the hoodie says smokin' n' fiery while the trench coat has a design that has a bull and over it a bullet plunging in it's head, the bull is looking upwards. This gangster got wheels augmented into his hooves so he can roller-skate when he wants and he then can just stop rollin'. In his race name he's a black stallion that loves guns, so he got 5 holsters all over him and has them filled all the time, with 2 pistols, one shotgun, n' two rifles, but they're there mostly for style most of the time (doesn't mean he wont use 'em). He's also 6'4" and 600 pounds, which is very very light for a horse.
Backstory: Somehow science and technology splice a horse and a gangster together, then they got a some crazy ass gangster horse that was 60 pounds at birth, he was hanging 'round the science loons until he was two and he was the greatest thug in the lab, and labeled Terhune by the science loons and badass by the other animal people. He was then in an adoption home makin' mischief and driving crazy the people working there with his pure thug essence, and there he got his love for guns, every week they would be able to use the computer and he learned of gunz while the others got into these crazy shit movies. He then got a nerf gun for his 3rd birthday and he was the greatest gangsta in the adoption home where he led a gang and fought for privileges and power in the place. Gaining to use the computers 3 days a week with coordination amongst the other gangsters and ice cream and a whole bunch of other sweet and thug worthy things. On his 4th birthday he was adopted and he got a rifle nerf gun and a family, in the school he went to was Hillzaynder pre-k to 12th school and it was wild. His family were the Torres's a bunch of ballin' guys that were from Spanish descent, particularly Puerto Rican descent and they were cool. With pina coladas and chocolate milk and a whole slew of other things. His mom was a chill woman and his dad tha' craziest mofo around doing all sorts of shit including firecracker launchers and inviting the tiger mafia to barbeques and out gangstaring the eastside Cyberdwarves. He also had a sister and a pet dog, it was thug house. In school he didn't do too well but he was the best gangsta bringin' the gang system to the school and of course being the strongest gang. He was also the best damned racer in the school and best roller skater. He got his nerf gun collection done at home and he continued in school. He joined the track team in 7th grade and earned the name Terhune Bersan and nicknamed Bersaney among the school. In 8th grade he got his first pellet/bb gun and hell did he perfect his aim and runnin n' gunning skillz. 10th grade he still got shitty grades and scholarships rackin' up from runnin' and sometimes gunnin', but he got his first 22. at that age and then a 12 gage at 11th but an m1 garand at the start of 12th and a m16 at the graduation. He continued his life with his gang and shot hoops sometimes, until b-ball was banned and were we pissed. We rebelled but then we were put down, we were scattered, our gang of 40 was lost, unless somehow we can regroup. Terhune Bersan is here again and now, time to get payback with those mofos, especially with my guns, And if I remembered my age, maybe Heina knows that, cuz she's good with dem numbers
Name: MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Race: Human
Occupation: Shinobi Technician/Aspiring MC.
Appearance: Nigel is five foot ten and, like, 125 pounds, or a similarly average score of whatever you all Americans weigh stuff in. Barrels? He wears his cap to the back, and a nice purple cardigan his nan knitted. The rest of his clothes though are as black as the very shadow of the night itself. Unlike Nigel, who is exceedingly white, almost like dayglo white or something – he burns easy in the sun, but doesn’t really go out much, so it’s ok. His hair is sort of curly blond, and would be generously described as quite bad. His vocal appearance is English and a bit lazy.
Backstory: Nigel went to a school in England but then talked his mum and dad into moving to America in his teens, because he was obsessed with becoming a rapper. He grew up in a pretty affluent hood and his mum and dad had nice jobs but that totally doesn’t mean he never went through hard times, or never ate 20 cent noodles for his dinner whilst he was at university sorry college. Once, he was totally dead broke for like several days. Anyway, his whole family had moved to America so he could pursue his dream of becoming an authentic rapper – so you can imagine how distraught he was when all his rapping homies said that he was just too white to really flow and that perhaps he should become an accountant.
He felt a little rejected, and wondered what he could do to get accepted amongst his new friends and learn to properly flow over a nice dirty beat. He immediately discounted winning loads of rap battles for reasons that will go with him to the grave and decided there was only one logical route: he’d have to get less white. Coming from England, a bit of a backward racist country whose knowledge of any ethnic group outside of English Country Gentleman With A Hunting Dog and Shotgun came from the popular culture of the previous century, he only really deeply knew two things about how to become less white than the cardigan wearing rapper/accountancy student he already was: and since wearing a lot of gold brought him out in a debilitating rash, the only solution was to become a ninja, and fight for the restoration of basketball, so that he could learn to play basketball.
He was fairly sure that if he learnt to play basketball, he would automatically level up his rap ability pretty hard. He spent two whole days and nights reading wikipedia pages on stealth and ninja techniques, and then set out on his quest to find co-believers in the power of slammin and jammin.
AYO
Hope this is good.
Name: Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Gender: Male. Probably.
Age: 26
Race: Furry - Lynx Anthromorph
Occupation: Non-Pacifict Monk
Apperance: Rubric dresses like how most ancient monks would dress; totally fucking badass. Taking after the Shaolin Monks, his robes are Hella B-Ball Orange with Denver Nuggets gold trim. As a lynx-sorta-person-thing, Rubric has fur. A lot of it. Grey with black spots. The whole 'Wise Old Sage' colour scheme without the actual pithy oldness. Rad. He's about 4 1/2 feet tall, but he makes up for it with pure ballin'...ness.
Yeah.
Everything else about him is Lynx, really. Paws, ears, eyes, etc. etc.
Straight-Up Shaolin Lynx Gangsta'.
Backstory: Rubric wasn't the kind of guy to go through that namby-pamby furry shit. Thankfully, his parents were. It turns out they didn't have the money to science themselves up some fur, so they settled on slipping it into his formula as a kid. He didn't really notice anything happening until graduating year of elementary school, when he lost hearing for about an hour only to gain it back better than ever. Along with some...strange looks. It was enough to make him run out on his graduation a week later, when his fur began growing in and his face began changing. He went home, packed up his stuff, and decided to leave Des Moines to find a place where he could be accepted. His parents were reluctant to let him go, but seeing as they were the ones that put him through it, they decided that he should do what he thinks is best. They saw him off, wondering if they ever would see him again...
It was about 2.5 years until Rubric came across the Temple of the Titanium Paw housed in Neo-Barcelona. By that time, he was fully morphed, and was still getting a bit used to his new form. He was welcomed in open arms to the sanctuary, where he was taught personally by Dojo Master Minos, in the art of Shih Tzu Martial Arts. A very brutal form, Rubric channeled his frustration with his situation into his work, where he became quite proficient and graduated in under a decade, a temple record. He was given a staff and a blade by his dojo master, and sent back home to Neo-Des Moines.
Back home, Rubric arrived to find that his childhood house was gone. Obliterated. Heartbroken and having been ready to finally forgive his parents for what they had done to him, he broke down. He spent the night in the wreckage of the house before coming to his senses. It wasn't a time for guilt or remorse! It was a time for revenge! He was going to find out what happened, WHO happened, and make them pay for what they did. It was a futile quest, and he knew it. It was really just something to keep his mind off of what he had done. Anyway, he spent years travelling the country, interrogating people he thought would know something, and being an overall badass vigilante. Like, a walking batman ripoff. Either way, the only reason he even went that night was because one of his recent targets had a letter on him. It sounded interesting. Maybe it could help him out. It WOULD help him out. One way or another.
(https://static1.e621.net/data/4c/cd/4ccdad213e8ec7fc85fc47c3ca6b0310.jpg)
(https://static1.e621.net/data/sample/fa/f2/faf243c7973dba722bfb0199d4ef93b1.jpg)
...
I'll get to work on a sheet.
Name: Sarah.
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Race: Human
Occupation: Ex-Intelligence Agent
Apperance: Standing at five and a half feet, Sarah is of Asian descent: her face characterized by high cheekbones, almond-shaped eyes, dark brown irises, a oval-to-squarish jaw, a light-tanned complexion and very straight dark hair, with a slim and fine-boned body structure, though tempered by the presence of toned muscles. Her preference for clothing and other details are pretty much askew from the general norm, aiming for simplicity and utilitarian practicality instead of flair, bling and other needless accessorization.
Backstory: Having grown up in the cities, Sarah's demeanor, personality and character is said to be refined--this was not a teaching from her environment, but from her parents' diligent work and their influence in her life. They were hardworking professionals, more on the medical side than not--providing for the family in their old age despite their aches and pains. They brought Sarah up in a peaceful environment, despite what hostilities existed in her world and vicinity and taught her many, many virtues as to what and who a person is, in lieu of how their attitude brings them up by.
In an otherwise 'boring' childhood, Sarah was an idealist, not so due to being sheltered or coddled, but by having been exposed to the realities of her world early on, yet having the tools and equipment (her mindset and personality) to counter what detriments existed. She knew how to swear, yet never swore. She knew how to fight, yet chose diplomacy over fists. She knew martial arts to the 3rd dan in taekwondo, yet found herself never using it in situations of presumed hostility. In times of adversity, she chose to see what good existed and used these notions to guide her in her life--of note, it was never an easy one with doubt constantly, always hovering by her side and the voice of cynicism whispering..."You are alone."
Choosing to pursue and finish a pre-med course, with side lessons in philosophy and psychology, the only thing missing in her life was the effort and presence of a true friend. All this time, she had spent it alone; training and developing herself, she had only herself as a lifelong companion: all those around her either split due to constraints on their side or by duty to others. Due to this, her personality is much like a person of respect--reluctant to cause injury or even worry in the sight of misfortune. A perfectionist to a fault, most of the problems borne from the past that plague her are pretty much mental-sided, intrapersonally affecting her--though she believes she can cope with them no matter how strong they are.
She carries a certain belief in personhood, having built her own principles in life no matter what kind of work or situation she finds herself in.
Name:Cyberdimention Wakka:109
Gender: Robot
Age: 9,562
Race:Interdenominational Cyborg
Occupation:Baller
Apperance: A robotic Hawaian man, with a constant wide grin
Backstory:An android robot from anouther dimention, cast into the void between worlds by the sludge elves, massive pricks who were the dominant species of that reality, who also outlawed "Blitzball" after he personally used the Jett kick and destroyed everything for 23.8 kilometers in front of him, nearly destroyed, almost all of his blitzball techniques and his honed robotic prowess have been forgotten due to damage to his central processor, he is forced to use one of the illegal tools of this world, "Basketballs", and adapting his old techniques to this new world, in order to fight his way though whoever stops him from returning to his world and correcting the wrongs he made. He seeks out a place called "Neo New York" and any interdenominational interdimentional technology that might aid him, but is interrupted by the spirit of LeBron James to visit some strange tavern, promising a lead on his lost memories, of a home he has lost. His design and damaged components have rendered his current state very Junkheap worthy, his awesomeness drives remain intact, overriding any default move effects with an internal slot machine to determine what status effects are inflicted.
His class is Baller, at least, until he regains memories of his former sport.
A Meeting of F.A.T.E.
Xu Yi Shi's Tavern is a local favorite of the Neo-Atlantians, providing them with reasonably priced food, varieties of on-stage entertainment and annually cleaned bathrooms. For six anxious people, tonight it will be much more. They were all strangers now, but they would quickly become each others closest companion. For starters, they were all instructed to come to the basement by an image of the ghostly LeBron James in their sleep. What now?
Then, he arose. From the floors. From the abyss. From beyond. From nowhere. LeBron cometh.
"Hey, I'm the Ghostly B-Ball Spirit of LeBron James."
(https://s2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/ez.p.am4ZaGsRVyXIumpvw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTYwMA--/http://media.zenfs.com/en/person/Ysports/lebron-james-basketball-headshot-photo.jpg)
"Y'all may wonder we I've called you hear tonight. It's quite simple really. As you all know, the key instrument in the Miami Heat's 2013 NBA Championship Victory was, besides my stupendous athleticism, the Grand Basketball of Infallibility. This ball was the most sacred treasure of the Miami Heat organization, forged over 3000 years ago by a tribe of ancient ballers, who used it to cast away evil spirits. During the Great B-Ball Purge, Micheal Jordan knew the basketball was too powerful a tool to keep in the hands of any baller, and sent out a task force of Elite S.W.A.T. Officers to capture it.
Their plan, despite our best defenses, was eventually successful. I balled my hardest, hitting them with every Slam and Jam I knew, but they pried it away from my dead fingers. Jordan tried to obliterate the ball in a controlled sub-atomic explosion, but that wasn't enough. The ball simply split apart into 8 Shards that flew across the world, hidden from Jordan.
Even with Jordan gone, I fear the National Committee Against Basketball and B-Ball Related Activities may be onto the locations of the shards. This time, they will be smarter, and use a destructive technique powerful enough to erase the ball from reality. If this happens, then there will be no hope for Basketball returning. Ever.
Why have I chosen the six of you? Coincidentally enough, the first game of basketball played with the Grand Basketball of Infallibility were your ancestors. Yes, all of your ancestors were on the same team. This was in a day when many more players were allowed on the court at once. There are only six of you here, but that is because you are the six I could locate first; the descendants of the other players are still out there. I believe you will find them. If you can recover these shards, not only will you save the future of Basketball, as well as the world, but you will also figure out answers to your greatest questions, and solutions to your greatest problems.
I know not where all the shards lay, but I sense that one of them is located under the Neo-Atlanta Sewers, in the historic B-Ball Catacombs.
Waste no time heroes. Be off, I must return to the spirit world."
LeBron looked down at the floor.
"...Well, I'm not descending. I guess I'll chill here for a while. Must be some traffic over at the spirit border. I'll chill here I guess."
He sat upon a box, checking his watch.
The Tavern is busy tonight, it is happy hour. Perhaps one of the patrons knows something important, if they aren't all wasted off their asses. But that's alright, but outside in the metropolis city is a collection of all the stores and establishments one could hope to find.
So heroes, where off to?
>
Doctor Bear
Level 1 Android
Weapon: Laser - A Standard android laser. Pew pew pew.
Clothes: Specialized Tunic - Oddly specific hole placed near the lower back. Normal otherwise.
Bling:
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician
Level 1 Shinobi Technician
Weapon: Unsilenced Pistol - Incredibly stealth. If it didn't have the minor side effects of muzzle flash and gunshot sound followed by someone falling to the ground screaming in agony, you wouldn't be able to even tell anything happened.
Clothes: Black Pajama Suit - Invaluable when blending into a background composed of black bedsheets.
Bling:
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Level 1 Non-Pacifist Monk
Weapon: Unarmed - The default Non-Pacifist Monk weapon, a skilled martial artist's punch or kick can be just as deadly as any guns'hot or b-ball attack.
Clothes: White Gi - A simple Eastern get-up for practicing the material arts. Be wary of food stains.
Bling:
Combo Meter:10 Combo Points
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 30/30
Health: Fine
Krrosh Anvilhumper
Level 1 Celtic Space Warlord
Weapon: Rusty Claymore - Nothing beats a rusty claymore if you want to stock up on obsolete, ruined weaponry!
Clothes: Tattered Kilt - The tattering isn't all that bad, it didn't cover up that much to begin with.
Bling:
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 10/10
Health: Fine
Johnny Johnson the 2nd
Level 1 Zaubermancer
Weapon: Basic Zauber - A somewhat respectable blade, at least if you didn't know it was bought for 42 Neo-Shekels in a Chinese souvenir store.
Clothing: Robes - Long and mysterious.
Bling:
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 32/32
Health: Fine
Sarah
Level 1 Ex-Intelligence Agent
Weapon: Baton - Plastic and non-lethal, which is good because you don't have to worry about accidental death ending the interrogation prematurely.
Clothes: Cheap Suit - Good enough for work, unless you had to attend a dinner party.
Bling:
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
BP:20/20
Health: Fine
Getting Information And/Or Crunk
Graa! Narf! Kroosh intones, reading out of a book that looks somewhat like a Gibberish-English dictionary.
Hopefully I did that right. Just starting out this warlord thing. I think I'll get really drunk. Makes savagery easier.
Request booze from bartender until sufficiently inebriated so as to naturally act 'grr'. Drunkenly question people around me about where we are and such.
Rubric merely stands up, looking at the others with distaste.
"We have a common goal now, it seems, but I still have my own. I recommend none of you interfere. I have one piece of advice I have learned in my travels, however. It could very well help us."
He clears his throat.
"To commune with the mad, one must become mad themselves."
He heads upstairs to get wasted. The best plan is to get drunk enough to understand the other patrons' ramblings.
Krrosh and Rubric are clearly on the same frequency, as they head off to ascend the stairs and reach the main portion of the bar. Upstairs the bar room is lively and active, the smell of alcohol piercing everyone's nostrils. On the stage, a young man in a cap strums out a guitar.
When I think of you, the climax of my medulla/Ceases the crushing blows of enigma/For the one we truly know/Is the one we see hereafter.
One of the patrons places his drink down, crying softly. "Shit...the depth....it's like he really knows how I feel...."
The cyberdwarf and lynx sit down at the bar. "Two of your roughest pints!" Krrosh barks at the young Chinese bartender. She firmly places her hand on her hips, "You can pay?" Damn, it looks like she has caught the ploy of these two alcoholics in the making, as neither has a Neo-Shekel to spare! However, a mustached man at the end of the bar speaks up for them. "Put it on my tab," he looks at the two of them pitifully, assuming their an improvised interracial same-sex couple.
This act of charity gets both of them one Dragonforce Doozer each. Down the hatch.
Roll for Sobriety!
Rubric = 2
Krrosh = 12
Rubric immediately crashes to the floor, completely wasted. The first part of his plan, to get drunk, definitely succeeded. However, instead of chatter he could only hear constant buzzing and droning. And the floor was spinning. This would not do. Rubric tries keeping his eyes open, which prove to be the only task he can focus on and successfully perform.
Krrosh held his sway better, his tough dwarven organs built to consume the hardest of alcohols. That didn't mean he could stand up without bracing himself against the safety of the bar, but at least he could stand. He turns to the people sitting adjacent to him, "WHAAAAAT IS THIS PLACE?" A man shrugs, "Xu Yi Shi. The bar." The dwarf, content with this knowledge for now, sinks into his seat. "If I had a metal....ohhhhhh Lord."
"I'd rather we meet back here after getting the basic gist of this."
Sarah was quite intrigued by the concept of this goal--a straightforward and simple one. A complex goal.
"I'd rather we meet back here after getting the basic gist of this. However..."
Inquire at the spirit:
> What is the local disposition about asking ideas about B-Ball, in general?
> Local authorities. Demeanor regarding the government and on Basketball.
> Ask him if he knows of James. James Naismith.
Sarah walks up to the Spirit of LeBron James, pulling up an empty crate in front of him and sitting down. She crosses her legs, bending forward and assuming a posture of questioning.
"What is the local disposition about asking ideas about B-Ball, in general?"
"Simply asking about it isn't allowed, but it does raise suspicion. Discussing any illicit subject matter, such as the subject of Murder, is certainly allowed and even commonplace in certain areas, but if you kept on delving into Murder incessantly and passionately with someone you wouldn't know, wouldn't it make sense for them to suspect that you are up to something? I'm not trying to compare Basketball to Murder, but both have the same level of stigma attached." LeBron sighs deeply, briefly looking down at the floor.
"The local authorities, what is their demeanor regarding the Government and Basketball?"
LeBron looks up. "The authorities are under the government's leash, as they get all sorts of bonuses as long as they blindly follow whatever orders they are given. They have coveted positions, and are willing to go to great lengths in order to keep them. As for Basketball, I believe that many of them have been brainwashed and taught to hate and fear the game and players as our forerunners felt about magical witches and warlocks centuries ago. Though to be honest, I also believe that several of them understand the game of Basketball on some level, but they hide this, out of fear for their occupation and personal safety."
"Do you know of James Naismith?"
"I do know of the tale of James Naismith, a powerful half-deity in the time of our ancestors who developed Basketball as a way of nurturing the greatest potential of human beings. Basketball was a much different game back then, but we owe to him the foundation that paved the way for its glory in the modern age, at least before the Great B-Ball Purge." LeBron grins, "For a lady so stoic in appearance, you ask many thoughtful questions.
"Hmm..."
Johnny steeples his fingers in front of his mouth, and broods.
Then, he stands up and goes to the roof. Somehow.
Johnny Johnson the Second does the only sensible thing and goes to the roof, somehow. At the roof, he stands on the edge for no reason than to appear as a cool enigma, the cool night breeze causing his robes to flutter elegantly, though the chill feels uncomfortable as it whips across his semi-unprotected crotch area. Stifling any visible signs of discomfort, he looks out onto the horizon, his view blotted with the shape of a multitude of buildings lighting up the night with a vast array of colorful lights: yellows, oranges, reds, blues, neons.
"Senpai-Sama, I will avenge you," he says only to himself, and the Dwarf retching into a bucket a few feet a way from him.
"..."
In the corner, Nigel the Rapping Shadow just... sort of blends in with the shadows in the corner, scribbling in a notepad. When he realises who's there, he also realises he needs to take advantage of this unrepeatable miracle.
"Yo," he says, in a hard-to-define kind of mid-English accent, "Mr LeBron? I wonder if you could like rap two lines to sum up the essence of basketball and its relation to the secret of existence? I remember things better when they rhyme, and that would totally help me keep up my morale in the dark days to come... Sir."
Ask the above. Then wait for comrades to become drunk. Find the nearest hiding place, and also the nearest exit.
Suddenly Nigel realises he actually has some comrades who are not becoming immediately drunk.
"Er. Hello comrades? I am Nigel - I am a rapper and ninja by trade, and also an apprentice accountant. How about you?"
Nigel saunters over to LeBron James. "Yo, Mr LeBron? I wonder if you could like rap two lines to sum up the essence of basketball and its relation to the secret of existence? I remember things better when they rhyme, and that would totally help me keep up my morale in the dark days to come... Sir."
LeBron shifted in his seat, "I never considered myself a rapper, but I'll try." He cleared his throat, B-Ball is a ferocious game/You gotta' sink one before you make a name." He leans back confidently, "That was hot fire, if I say so myself."
Nigel nods respectfully, before looking for hiding spots. This basement seems a good spot for now if one needed to hide, though the women's bathroom upstairs works as well, since it is never used due to the apparent lack of any female bar patrons, which also gives it the benefit of containing approximately 5000000% less life-threatening microorganisms than in the men's room. Also, there's a large cupboard behind the bar that could work, though the bartender may beat you with a broom if she finds you in there. There's an exist right in the front of the bar, but as that also doubles as the entrance, the fire exit adjacent to the stage is probably the best bet in case of an emergency.
Doctor Bear idles in a Uncanny-Valley way.
Doctor Bear
Level 1 Android
Weapon: Laser - A Standard android laser. Pew pew pew.
Clothes: Specialized Tunic - Oddly specific hole placed near the lower back. Normal otherwise.
Bling:
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician
Level 1 Shinobi Technician
Weapon: Unsilenced Pistol - Incredibly stealth. If it didn't have the minor side effects of muzzle flash and gunshot sound followed by someone falling to the ground screaming in agony, you wouldn't be able to even tell anything happened.
Clothes: Black Pajama Suit - Invaluable when blending into a background composed of black bedsheets.
Bling:
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Level 1 Non-Pacifist Monk
Weapon: Unarmed - The default Non-Pacifist Monk weapon, a skilled martial artist's punch or kick can be just as deadly as any guns'hot or b-ball attack.
Clothes: White Gi - A simple Eastern get-up for practicing the material arts. Be wary of food stains.
Bling:
Combo Meter:10 Combo Points
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 30/30
Health: Fine
Krrosh Anvilhumper
Level 1 Celtic Space Warlord
Weapon: Rusty Claymore - Nothing beats a rusty claymore if you want to stock up on obsolete, ruined weaponry!
Clothes: Tattered Kilt - The tattering isn't all that bad, it didn't cover up that much to begin with.
Bling:
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 10/10
Health: Fine
Johnny Johnson the 2nd
Level 1 Zaubermancer
Weapon: Basic Zauber - A somewhat respectable blade, at least if you didn't know it was bought for 42 Neo-Shekels in a Chinese souvenir store.
Clothing: Robes - Long and mysterious.
Bling:
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 32/32
Health: Fine
Sarah
Level 1 Ex-Intelligence Agent
Weapon: Baton - Plastic and non-lethal, which is good because you don't have to worry about accidental death ending the interrogation prematurely.
Clothes: Cheap Suit - Good enough for work, unless you had to attend a dinner party.
Bling:
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
BP:20/20
Health: Fine
Da Cops
"HNRGNGNG. HUMMHINS. BRENHHH!"
Try to get up. Slowly. VEEEEERY SLOWLY.
And try not to harass and/or assault anyone during or afterwards.
It probably would have been a good idea to remember how easily inebriated felines are.
WHERE IS BAR.
RARGARGAR.
Insert belches to question as appropriate.
After a few moments of intense room-spinning and loud noises, Rubric decides that the floor is no place for a cat of his stature. He decides to stand up.
Roll for Tolerance!
Rubric: 10
Rubric grasps the shaft of the bar stool nearest to him, heroically using it to pull himself to a half-standing position. He pants hard after the exerting effort. Through willpower and integrity, he is then able to perform the final task of falling over onto the bar, properly sitting down on the stool as he slumps the upper-half of his body across the bar. AMAZING SUCCESS.
The much more stable Krrosh decides to engage in some questioning. "WHERE IS BAR." He then belches, before screaming wildly flailing his arms around in the air, as if he was being attacked by a wasp or a miniature man in a very tiny helicopter who was pelting him with itty-bitty missiles. The bartender calls out one side of the establishment, "Security, over here!" A scary-looking hulk of a man stands up from his seat, walking towards the Krossh, cracking his knuckles...
Ah, hello there dwarf. 'Tus a fine night, is it not?
Examine the retching dwarf. Any distinguishing features?
Johnny Johnson introduces himself to the dwarf, while doing so he also manages to examine him carefully. The dwarf responds to the conversation by leaning over the building and vomiting all over the alleyway. Johnny finds the dwarf to be tiny but stocky, bearded and rough looking, as if he was set down upon the roof not as a unique entity, but just as a prop the GM added to the roof to make it slightly more interesting than a bare rooftop.
With his heightened position, Johnny is the first one to witness two police cars racing down the street. That's odd, as police don't frequent this section of town at this time of night. Even stranger is the fact that they park directly outside the bar, a total of four armed policemen exiting the vehicles. Probably not good news.
Return to the basement.
"Ho there, fellow questers! I think we need to quest, yo? Any ideas about how to get this thing started which don't involve drinking? What was Mr LeBron saying about those shards? We should go and get some. And then get a shard, ehehe."
<ROAR> goes the internal neo-hippie circuitry of Doctor Bear, programmed organically using the most sophisticated of Cabinet-Yaak architectures. Nobody can hear this, obviously, for Doctor Bear's internal workings is nothing if not clandestine. The only thing that emanates as the creature stirs from its intense consideration of the quest ahead is a sort of rawr-chitter as the android crab-walks in one direction, then the other to test joint integrity.
"I do believe we need to seek the shards in the sewers of Neo-Atlanta. Mr. LeBron said so, and the information in Doctor Bear's archives has no evidence that this isn't so. I have just called in sick for the next week or so and notified Linda that we won't be able to make it to her wedding tomorrow. So that frees up our schedule, I suppose," Nurse Akane says professionally, her eyes flashing a bright pink as she eyes Nigel. "So then, adventure!"
Try to remember how to get to the B-Ball Catacombs, and whether that's difficult. Assess locations of fellow questers and collect as many into one place as possible.
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin makes his appearance downstairs, just in time to make Doctor Bear roar to life. Doctor B., attaining sentience once again, tries to recall the location of the B-Ball Catacombs. Something seems to flicker in the back of his(her?) mind, an image of the dreary underground epicenter of the deceased. Yet, this is merely a flicker, not full-blown recollection. With a mental roadblock in place, the doctor decides to account for the locations of each of her teammates. The rapper guy is down her with her, the lynx and the dwarf are upstairs getting smashed, and the Zaubermancer is probably doing some Linkin Park shit up on the roof somewhere.
[Auto me for this turn! General Directive: Converse with LeBron and thank him, afterwards try to tell my others about the ideas. Then ask around for any local 'tour' guide or some info about the area. Act like a traveler or...tourist.]
Sarah thanks LeBron for his information, and then promptly tells her teammates about her idea. Excitedly, she heads upstairs looking for someone to get information from. Before she can start snooping around, she hears the doors swing open at the front of the door. From outside, four figures saunter in, decked out in shiny chrome armor and helmet pieces, each packing their own individual rifle-type firearm. "Our radars have detected high levels illicit B-Ball type activity in this bar! No body move, unless they want a blast from my new and improved Square-Enix-Goya Gun!"
Doctor Bear
Level 1 Android
Weapon: Laser - A Standard android laser. Pew pew pew.
Clothes: Specialized Tunic - Oddly specific hole placed near the lower back. Normal otherwise.
Bling:
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician
Level 1 Shinobi Technician
Weapon: Unsilenced Pistol - Incredibly stealth. If it didn't have the minor side effects of muzzle flash and gunshot sound followed by someone falling to the ground screaming in agony, you wouldn't be able to even tell anything happened.
Clothes: Black Pajama Suit - Invaluable when blending into a background composed of black bedsheets.
Bling:
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Level 1 Non-Pacifist Monk
Weapon: Unarmed - The default Non-Pacifist Monk weapon, a skilled martial artist's punch or kick can be just as deadly as any guns'hot or b-ball attack.
Clothes: White Gi - A simple Eastern get-up for practicing the material arts. Be wary of food stains.
Bling:
Combo Meter:10 Combo Points
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 30/30
Health: Fine
Krrosh Anvilhumper
Level 1 Celtic Space Warlord
Weapon: Rusty Claymore - Nothing beats a rusty claymore if you want to stock up on obsolete, ruined weaponry!
Clothes: Tattered Kilt - The tattering isn't all that bad, it didn't cover up that much to begin with.
Bling:
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 10/10
Health: Fine
Johnny Johnson the 2nd
Level 1 Zaubermancer
Weapon: Basic Zauber - A somewhat respectable blade, at least if you didn't know it was bought for 42 Neo-Shekels in a Chinese souvenir store.
Clothing: Robes - Long and mysterious.
Bling:
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 32/32
Health: Fine
Sarah
Level 1 Ex-Intelligence Agent
Weapon: Baton - Plastic and non-lethal, which is good because you don't have to worry about accidental death ending the interrogation prematurely.
Clothes: Cheap Suit - Good enough for work, unless you had to attend a dinner party.
Bling:
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
BP:20/20
Health: Fine
Sorry about the latness of this update, vacation times have got me going all over the place.
Combat!
Rubric tries his best to NOT pass out on the counter, and attempts to talk to the bartender about life.
Wait, shit, no, there's police.
NEVER MIND. HE ATTEMPTS TO STAND UP AND FACE THE POLICE.
"DOOONSHUU TALLLK TO ME LIKE THAAAAT. DON YOU KNOW WHO THE FUUUUCSH I AM!?"
Rubric confronts the Police! "DOOONSHUU TALLLK TO ME LIKE THAAAAT. DON YOU KNOW WHO THE FUUUUCSH I AM!?" The Policeman reactivity raises his Square-Enix-Goya Gun. He shouts into his transceiver, "This is officer 4982! Coordinates X-94451/Y-89587, engaging hostile!"
ENCOUNTER!
Policemen x4
Oh hey there shecurity guy. How're ya doin?
Also can you tell me where this bar is located? I need to enter it in my DPS.
Talking!
Krrosh Anvilhumper talks with the security guard standing by the door. He appears cold and emotionless, and Krrosh's attempt at conversation doesn't change this. He simply doesn't respond to the Dwarf's first question. He begins to answer the second, until he realizes the police busting the bar down. As all good security guards do in this situation, he runs out the back door, fleeing the scene.
"This... is not good news. Come, dwarf, we must vacate this place, lest the local authorities capture us."
Johnny picks up the dwarf, and jumps off the too and into an alleyway.
Johnny Johnson the 2nd realizes that troubles are afoot from the screams of the police downstairs. "This... is not good news. Come, dwarf, we must vacate this place, lest the local authorities capture us." He grabs the drunken Dwarf on the ceiling, leaping to the ground below. He lands, a light shockwave spreading dirt and trash throughout the alleyway. The captive Dwarf begins singing, "Irene....beautiful Irene....come back...across the sea....to meeeeeeee~"
Doctor Bear, still steadfastly an it, or perhaps a him, or maybe even a her if you really prefer, since it really doesn't matter, given that its gender is bionically fluid in accordance with the doctrine of its creators, crab-walks out of the basement to aid the designated heroes.
"It seems our colleagues wish to engage in drunken disorderliness and unfounded brooding. Let us rescue them," Nurse Akane says.
Discreetly move to find the Zaubermancer first, as he has greatest mobility. Incorporate him into current adventuring party along with the secret agent lady and MC Nigel through combination of charm and being a bear.
Doctor Bear rescues his allies from their own vices. She looks around the premises of the bar, only to find that they have been scattered, the anthro currently fighting with the police force. The Zaubermancer is nowhere to be seen, but the loud banging sound from the alleyway outside indicates something is happening out there. MC Nigel is much easier to find and regroup, communicating to him through a mix of beat-boxing and bear mating sounds.
Square Enix huh.
..
...
Isn't Goya a chocolate factory?
Sarah acknowledged the arrival of the local 'authorities' with the follow up of the usual practice done in police raids or surprise searches.
However seeing the audacity of her fellows which LeBron had noted earlier, she wondered if the local authorities would be up to anything deeper.
Conceal any evidence on person about any contact with LeBron--if questioned, redirect to wrong area.
However, try to sneak closer to where the authorities are given the presence of my allies' distraction. Take a quick moment to ponder upon the consequences on if I disarm/attack them...
And act as such (primary objective: sneak up closer)
Sarah makes sure that nothing on her could be used as proof of her discussion with LeBron James. Quietly, she sneaks away towards the police, and finds that if she had the right angle and was undetected, she could incapacitate most of them before they realized what was going on, in a best case scenario.
Doctor Bear
Level 1 Android
Weapon: Laser - A Standard android laser. Pew pew pew.
Clothes: Specialized Tunic - Oddly specific hole placed near the lower back. Normal otherwise.
Bling:
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician
Level 1 Shinobi Technician
Weapon: Unsilenced Pistol - Incredibly stealth. If it didn't have the minor side effects of muzzle flash and gunshot sound followed by someone falling to the ground screaming in agony, you wouldn't be able to even tell anything happened.
Clothes: Black Pajama Suit - Invaluable when blending into a background composed of black bedsheets.
Bling:
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Level 1 Non-Pacifist Monk
Weapon: Unarmed - The default Non-Pacifist Monk weapon, a skilled martial artist's punch or kick can be just as deadly as any guns'hot or b-ball attack.
Clothes: White Gi - A simple Eastern get-up for practicing the material arts. Be wary of food stains.
Bling:
Combo Meter:10 Combo Points
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 30/30
Health: Fine
Krrosh Anvilhumper
Level 1 Celtic Space Warlord
Weapon: Rusty Claymore - Nothing beats a rusty claymore if you want to stock up on obsolete, ruined weaponry!
Clothes: Tattered Kilt - The tattering isn't all that bad, it didn't cover up that much to begin with.
Bling:
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 10/10
Health: Fine
Johnny Johnson the 2nd
Level 1 Zaubermancer
Weapon: Basic Zauber - A somewhat respectable blade, at least if you didn't know it was bought for 42 Neo-Shekels in a Chinese souvenir store.
Clothing: Robes - Long and mysterious.
Bling:
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 32/32
Health: Fine
Sarah
Level 1 Ex-Intelligence Agent
Weapon: Baton - Plastic and non-lethal, which is good because you don't have to worry about accidental death ending the interrogation prematurely.
Clothes: Cheap Suit - Good enough for work, unless you had to attend a dinner party.
Bling:
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
BP:20/20
Health: Fine
Resisting Arrest
Krrosh, hearing combat, hits a button on one of his pectorals. A tinny speaker begins to play the Mortal Kombat theme.
EY EY EY ERSTWHILE TEAMMATES! WE GOTS OURSELVES A BRAWL!
WAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHH
Gather compatriots with alarm voice, then Slice N' Dice puny future-gun toting policemen!
Oh the things I do for a spirit...
Sarah partially ignored the rowdiness of her compatriots and made her decision.
Utilize the distraction of the moment by my ally and incapacitate the policemen! Use them as shields against each other if possible or redirect their attacks towards each other.
"OH YEAH WELL YOUR MOM IS UGLY. TAKE THISH YOU CRETIN!"
POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER.
Actually, just two Jabs and a Sweep finisher.
I'm probably using this combo thing wrong.
"I'm afraid the authorities have a tendency to be unreasonable around these parts. How unfortunate," Nurse Akane observes, her eyes beginning to glow as she charges up the laser.
Wait a few moments for the others to perform offensive maneuvers (preferably before the policemen perform theirs, of course). Laser the least harmed policeman (or the most harmed, if they prove to be tough and nobody goes down this turn).
"Yo, and stuff," declares Nigel, "Let me get this, homies. I am on it like a comet. The po po shall feel the biting death of my ninja wrath! No, seriously, check it out."
Seize the initiative, sneak up behind the group of cops, and Shotgun Sneakizzle the rearmost two in the rear!
The Motley Party of Indiscretion launches an attack on the police in a manner reminiscent of the Cheesecake Prison Riot of 2044! [Fun Fact: Millions Died.]
Krrosh Anvilhumper blasts copyrighted fight music from his Window-Apple Nipple Speaker (TM) to give him a boost as he dashes at the pigs, Slicing N' Dicing! His display is like an obnoxious child in the toy aisle of Target, if Target replaced their mockery swords with imported Highlander weaponry. His manic swings don't harm any cops, until one makes a mis-step and the Claymore cuts deep into his Left Forearm through his Police Armor. Krrosh roars at him as he clutches his arm, screaming in pain, "UR' BLOODY CLOTHES CAN STOP GUNS, BAH' NO ONE CAN STOP THE WRATH A' THA' CLAYMORE! (Except for those damned English Knights.)"
While the police wave their weapons angrily and shout at his teammates, MC Nigel creeps out of the bar, toting a Shotgun he obtained from Ad-Hoc-Mart. The Ninja cocks the gun, "Yo yo yo, 'bout to blast on deez' 5-0." The first shot goes wide, striking a florescent light and nothing else. Fortunately, the Double-Barrel Shotgun Blast emits little more than a gentle whisper. When Nigel lets loose with the other Barrel, he hits a policeman in the back, his armor stopping penetration, but does little to protect him as he flies across the room, slamming into a brick wall face first on the opposite side of the building.
Sarah utilizes the distractions of her fellow fighters to run up to another unharmed Policeman and wraps her arm around his Right Shoulder, going for an Incapacitation. The cop is aware of her intentions however, and when she gets a lock on his elbow, he swings his arm and knocks her to the floor with brute strength, slamming her onto the wooden surface. Sarah is able to avoid getting hurt, but the counter does stun her briefly.
One of the quicker, unharmed policemen is fast on the draw, and gets a shot off from his Square Enix Goya Laser Gun while the perps enact their simultaneous assault. A bright red light zaps across the room and instantly hits MC Nigel right in the left shoulder, causing the ninja to drop his Shotgun and retreat behind the bar, the laser had cut right through his shirt and into the bone. "THAT SHIT HURT REAL BAD."
Nurse Akane scans the policemen and finds that, unfortunately, the combined offensive efforts of her team had not yet taken down a single officer. They were tougher than they looked, a lot having to do with that thick metal armor they had which could absorb a lot of stress and stop penetration. But could it stop a laser? Akane's eyes turn red as she fires off a scathing ray of light at one policeman, who combat rolls underneath the beam, Akane only succeeding in melting part of the wall behind him. He shoots back and is fairly surprised to see his own laser bounce right off her chest.
Rubric Dao lunges the target of Nurse Akane and hits him right in the chest with a quick jab knocking the cop backwards, and follows it up with a much more powerful punch that manages to crack right through the policeman's helmet and strike him square in the jaw! He staggers backwards, giving the Monk enough time to go for a Sweep, which hooks the back of the cop's ankle and sends him crashing to the floor.
Policeman #1 attempts to fire his Square Enix Goya Gun back at Krrosh Anvilhumper in retaliation for cutting into one of his arms, but can only utilize his uninjured hand in aiming the two-handed rifle. Predictably, the shot goes wide, giving Krrosh ample time to come up with insults against the Polceiman's family.
Policeman #2, the only member of his crew who hasn't received a beating, slashing, or any sort of other harm, pulls out a pair of glowing Holo-Cuffs. "Surrender, criminal scum!" He rushes Rubric Dao, who gracefully sidesteps the Policeman who slams into a table booth, falling over and dropping his Holo-Cuffs onto the floor beneath the table. Before he can recover, Rubric seizes him by the ankles and pulls him off the table and slams him onto the wooden floor, stunning him!
Policeman #3 shakily stands after being sent flying via Shotgun blast. He catches the figure of Nurse Akane standing not to far from him, and he rushes her, pulling out his Electro-Baton! He bashes her over the head, which would have sent a normal human to the ground in electric shock, but merely causes Akane to malfunction for a few seconds. "Seven fork, I'll be and up. You shant can't, rant supply Indonesian drug rats. SYSTEM ERROR, REBOOTING....""
Policeman #4 is on the floor after Rubric Dao had just swept him off of his feet. From his position, he draws his gun and fires upon Sarah. The laser beam clips her Left Ear and she falls over from the shock of having an unexpected improv ear piercing session.
Encounter:
Policeman #1: Left Forearm Slashed
Policeman #2: Stunned
Policeman #3: Torso Battered
Policeman #4: Face Beaten, Swept (Lowered Agility)
"Now then dwarf, I believe introductions are in order, as I do not want to continue calling you dwarf. What is your name?"
Keep a lookout for police, while setting the dwarf on the ground.
Outside, Johnny Johnson the 2nd questions his dwarf companion, asking for his name. "Whiskey....two shots of bourbon....vodka...lemon...cheeseburger...."
Doctor Bear
Level 1 Android
Weapon: Laser - A Standard android laser. Pew pew pew.
Clothes: Specialized Tunic - Oddly specific hole placed near the lower back. Normal otherwise.
Bling:
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician
Level 1 Shinobi Technician
Weapon: Unsilenced Pistol - Incredibly stealth. If it didn't have the minor side effects of muzzle flash and gunshot sound followed by someone falling to the ground screaming in agony, you wouldn't be able to even tell anything happened.
Clothes: Black Pajama Suit - Invaluable when blending into a background composed of black bedsheets.
Bling:
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 8/18
Health: Left Shoulder Burned
Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Level 1 Non-Pacifist Monk
Weapon: Unarmed - The default Non-Pacifist Monk weapon, a skilled martial artist's punch or kick can be just as deadly as any guns'hot or b-ball attack.
Clothes: White Gi - A simple Eastern get-up for practicing the material arts. Be wary of food stains.
Bling:
Combo Meter:10 Combo Points
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 30/30
Health: Fine
Krrosh Anvilhumper
Level 1 Celtic Space Warlord
Weapon: Rusty Claymore - Nothing beats a rusty claymore if you want to stock up on obsolete, ruined weaponry!
Clothes: Tattered Kilt - The tattering isn't all that bad, it didn't cover up that much to begin with.
Bling:
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 10/10
Health: Fine
Johnny Johnson the 2nd
Level 1 Zaubermancer
Weapon: Basic Zauber - A somewhat respectable blade, at least if you didn't know it was bought for 42 Neo-Shekels in a Chinese souvenir store.
Clothing: Robes - Long and mysterious.
Bling:
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 32/32
Health: Fine
Sarah
Level 1 Ex-Intelligence Agent
Weapon: Baton - Plastic and non-lethal, which is good because you don't have to worry about accidental death ending the interrogation prematurely.
Clothes: Cheap Suit - Good enough for work, unless you had to attend a dinner party.
Bling:
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
BP:20/20
Health: Left Ear Pierced
Ancient Dwarven Techniques
Sarah instinctively drew a hand to feel the cooling hole in her ear. Exactly at the lobule. It took only a split-thought to brush away any anger welling up in her, due to one single thought.
I hate earrings.
"I never wore earrings."
Move to choke and disarm the one that shot at me, utilizing any cover to...throw off his aim, or in the least distract him (throw at him?)
"AY WATCH IT YA LITTLE SHIT." he yells at the policeman he just stunned.
He appears to be sobering up a bit, even if he is still absolutely irate, he can now form coherent sentences.
On to Cop #2, Low-Kick three times, finishing with a spinning hook.
“Comrades! I think these pigs are bringing some ruckus! Let us deliver some harder ruckus into their innards!”
Darkness Chainsaw the nearest enemy in the guts! Then duck and try to blend in to some black sheets or something to prepare for a sneak attack.
"I suppose it would be wise to upgrade your threat classification, officers," Nurse Akane notes.
Spread Laser on Policemen 1, 2, 3 if possible. If one of them is dead already, shoot another one. If two are dead, hit random one with an ordinary laser.
Krrosh snaps out of his fugue!
Headbutt nearest police officer in the nuts, then chop his face!
Krrosh Anvilhumper snaps out of his daydreams consisting of anvils and humping, and charges Policeman #1, maneuvering into a flying somersault attack. This sends Krrosh flying over his target and he slams head-first through a window, shattering the glass and landing on the other side. Fortunately, he's relatively unharmed. The cop makes his way to Krrosh with a Baton drawn, and utilizes his powers of Police Brutality! He bashes Krrosh, but the Dwarf goes into the fetal position and absorbs the brunt of the force with his meaty forearms and thigh muscles.
MC Nigel recovers from the immediate shock of his injury and vaults over the bar, and seeing how Rubric had thrown Policeman #2 onto the floor, makes him his new target. The ninja pulls out his Darkness Chainsaw and leaps at the lawman, Leatherface'ing (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leatherface) him right in the stomach. The police-grade armor is no match for the spinning teeth of the industrialized death machine and soon the floor is soaked in blood, Nigel receiving the group's official first kill.
Sarah, after realizing that she had been shot, reaches over for to a spare glass beer bottle on the ground and chucks it at Policeman #4. The bottle shatters across his leg, the force and glass deflected by his metal armor. He looks at Sarah, and beneath his faceplate she can tell he's probably not amused. He reloads his Goya Gun, but Sarah uses this brief window of time to rush at him and kick him square in the chest. He flies back, losing the grip on his firearm and slamming into the wall. Before he can slump down to the ground, Sarah presses her right forearm against his neck, one of the few parts of his body not armored. He struggles, trying to pull Sarah's arm away, when she takes her left hand and slams his head against the wall, effectively bludgeoning his skull with the back of his metal helmet; he finally falls over knocked out cold.
Nurse Akane's system resets eyes glow red as she approaches the police like some sort of Terminator. She fires a laser at Policeman #1, who ducks just in time for the shot to incinerate the dart board behind him, rather than his head.
Policeman #3 turns around just in time for Rubric Dao to begin kicking the shit out of him. His triple low-kick assault causes the cop to buckle over, setting him up for a Spinning Hook. The punch lands straight on the hardest part of the Policeman's helmet, and Dao's strength and technique does not manage to connect through inches of reinforced steel.
As the two remaining Policemen raise their guns with the intent to fire, a wiry, older Chinese man in a suit runs down the stairs from the upper floor and pulls out two Revolvers, firing upon the police. Whatever his bullets are made out of, they puncture straight through the police armor and the two cops crumple to the floor. The shooter, infuriated, runs down the stars, berating the Party. "LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME DO, UNCLE WILL KILL ME! EVERYONE OUT OF THE BAR, NOW!" He says, firing into the ceiling.
Victory!
Experience: +75%
Available Loot:
Police Armor x3: State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons. Usable: Everyone
Police Helmet x2: Protects the head from an assortment of weaponry, comes complete with a Facemask with one-way visibility. Usable: Everyone
Square Enix Goya Gun x4: Produced in a Square Enix Arms Factory, these Rifles shoot a single piercing laser beam designed to pierce armor and incapacitate. Usable: Guns'braster, Android, Shinobi Technician, Ex-Intelligence Agent
"Answer me, dammit!"
Slap the dwarf
Johnny Johnson the 3rd slaps the rescued Drunk Dwarf, whose face turns red. "AVENGE ME." He then uses the ancient technique of punching Johnny Johnson in the balls and running away. The Zaubermancer falls to the ground, clutching his wounded jewels. By the time he manages to look up again, the Dwarf is gone.
Doctor Bear
Level 1 Android
Weapon: Laser - A Standard android laser. Pew pew pew.
Clothes: Specialized Tunic - Oddly specific hole placed near the lower back. Normal otherwise.
Bling:
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician
Level 1 Shinobi Technician
Weapon: Unsilenced Pistol - Incredibly stealth. If it didn't have the minor side effects of muzzle flash and gunshot sound followed by someone falling to the ground screaming in agony, you wouldn't be able to even tell anything happened.
Clothes: Black Pajama Suit - Invaluable when blending into a background composed of black bedsheets.
Bling:
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 8/18
Health: Left Shoulder Burned
Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Level 1 Non-Pacifist Monk
Weapon: Unarmed - The default Non-Pacifist Monk weapon, a skilled martial artist's punch or kick can be just as deadly as any guns'hot or b-ball attack.
Clothes: White Gi - A simple Eastern get-up for practicing the material arts. Be wary of food stains.
Bling:
Combo Meter:10 Combo Points
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 30/30
Health: Fine
Krrosh Anvilhumper
Level 1 Celtic Space Warlord
Weapon: Rusty Claymore - Nothing beats a rusty claymore if you want to stock up on obsolete, ruined weaponry!
Clothes: Tattered Kilt - The tattering isn't all that bad, it didn't cover up that much to begin with.
Bling:
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 10/10
Health: Fine
Johnny Johnson the 2nd
Level 1 Zaubermancer
Weapon: Basic Zauber - A somewhat respectable blade, at least if you didn't know it was bought for 42 Neo-Shekels in a Chinese souvenir store.
Clothing: Robes - Long and mysterious.
Bling:
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 32/32
Health: Fine
Sarah
Level 1 Ex-Intelligence Agent
Weapon: Baton - Plastic and non-lethal, which is good because you don't have to worry about accidental death ending the interrogation prematurely.
Clothes: Cheap Suit - Good enough for work, unless you had to attend a dinner party.
Bling:
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
BP:20/20
Health: Left Ear Pierced
A lot of stuff I've had to deal with for the past couple of weeks, but with most of it over with, I thought I'd treat myself, and you guys, with an update.
Proper Adventuring Time
Query: <Roar?>
Doctor Bear is vaguely confused by the way this bartender person seems to have eliminated the other two police officers with ease, though nevertheless is not one to look a gift homicide in the smoking gun.
"A fascinating, if contrived and improbable way to evade culpability for the unlawful killing of a police officer," Nurse Akane vocally processes at the same time.
Seize all loot while moving on, distributing police armor to Rubric, Krrosh and one other seeker, and the helmets to Sarah and Nigel. Nigel also gets one SEG gun, Doctor Bear keeps the rest for easy sales and usage later on. Nurse Akane checks effectiveness of SEG Gun versus Laser.
Be out of bar by the end of turn.
Rgagrgrgahu. Well, that was fun.
Get armor! Evacuate premises!
"HaHA! Mess with the cat, get the claws, jackasses."
The booze still hanging on a bit, Rubric spits on one of the police bodies and shouts at it, before being dragged out of the bar and receiving some Police Armor from Dr. Bear. Finally back in his right mind, he puts it on, underneath his robes, if possible. Gotta keep bein' stylin'.
OUT of the BAR!
Also claim that last armor for self and a gun along with--analyzing it if the possibility of complete impersonation is within the scope of reality here, and if there are no countermeasures to it (ie ID cards).
Also probably ask around (preferring allies) to heal that piercing in my ear.
Now out of the bar, Sarah took the time to catch her breath. "Alright, close brush with the law. Any idea on how we proceed then?" she said, very aware that they had to stay as a group.
With dead policemen and angry Chinese gunslingers now filling up the bar, the Heroes decide to go outside. The door shuts behind them, and the crisp, cool Atlanta air caresses their skin/fur/external metal.
Doctor Bear had smartly snatched the available loot on the way out of the establishment, and sees fit to distribute it among its teammates. Nurse Akane gives special attention to one of the Square Enix Goya Guns, comparing it to the Android's built-in Laser system. The capabilities of the two weapons seems similar, except that the Laser has a faster rate of fire and recharge. With no obvious advantage to keeping the SEG Gun, (though it could come in handy as an emergency weapon should the Laser system malfunction in the future for whatever reason in combat), the guns are handed over to MC Nigel and Sarah.
Krrosh Anvilhumper puts on the Police Armor. Despite it being intended for someone much larger than he is, it still clings well to his flesh.
Rubric Dao comes out of his alcoholic state to put on his Police Armor, managing to somehow slip it under his robes. Got to keep stylin', you know? The combination of Gi and Police Armor turns out to be pure mackin' [sic(?)], just as intended.
Sarah claims the final set of Armor as well as the last Square Enix Goya Gun. The armor goes right over her suit, and pockets the gun, inspecting the protective gear to see if she or any of the others in her group would be able to get away with impersonating a policeman. With all policemen in Neo-Atlanta being human males, she and Rubric would have the best chance of passing as a regular officer, as the suits come with an barcode-type identification right above the left breast, and both of them fit the physique well enough to blend in, provided they wear the Police Helmet's as well and don't spot Rubric's fur or hear Sarah's unmasked voice. Krrosh Anvilhumper would be harder to pull off, unless Sarah could come up with a really convincing story regarding the police force's commitment to hiring human males no matter what their height may be.
Agh!
Johnny falls to the ground, clutching his groin.
Such power... One day, I will defeat you, dwarf!
He uses his Zauber to help himself get up, before limping out of the alley.
What do I do now?
He proceeds to examine his surroundings.
Johnny Johnson limps out of the alleyway, his loins aching with the imprint of a dwarven assault, and manages to spot his teammates as they change into their newly acquired gear.
With the Bar behind them, the Party can properly begin their Quest for the 8 Shards of the Miami Heat 2013 Championship Victory Basketball. Clues point them to the Sewers, which would be accessible through any of the Manholes on the streets of Downtown Neo-Atlanta. However, the clues have been vague enough that the Party would have no idea where exactly in the Sewers to head too. As for the current section of Downtown Neo-Atlanta they find themselves in, they can see the Science Projects, government funded housing for Scientists, whose average salary is nowhere high enough to be enough to support their own living quarters, resulting in anyone from Biologists to Physicists taking refuge there. More visible locations include the Great Magical Shop of Wizardly Wonders and Knight to E7, a Sports Bar exclusively featuring broadcasted chess matches.
Doctor Bear
Level 1 Android
Weapon: Laser - A Standard android laser. Pew pew pew.
Clothes: Specialized Tunic - Oddly specific hole placed near the lower back. Normal otherwise.
Bling:
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician
Level 1 Shinobi Technician
Weapon: Unsilenced Pistol - Incredibly stealth. If it didn't have the minor side effects of muzzle flash and gunshot sound followed by someone falling to the ground screaming in agony, you wouldn't be able to even tell anything happened.
Clothes: Black Pajama Suit - Invaluable when blending into a background composed of black bedsheets.
Bling:
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 8/18
Health: Left Shoulder Burned
Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Level 1 Non-Pacifist Monk
Weapon: Unarmed - The default Non-Pacifist Monk weapon, a skilled martial artist's punch or kick can be just as deadly as any guns'hot or b-ball attack.
Clothes: White Gi - A simple Eastern get-up for practicing the material arts. Be wary of food stains.
Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Bling:
Combo Meter:10 Combo Points
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 30/30
Health: Fine
Krrosh Anvilhumper
Level 1 Celtic Space Warlord
Weapon: Rusty Claymore - Nothing beats a rusty claymore if you want to stock up on obsolete, ruined weaponry!
Clothes: Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Tattered Kilt - The tattering isn't all that bad, it didn't cover up that much to begin with.
Bling:
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 10/10
Health: Fine
Johnny Johnson the 2nd
Level 1 Zaubermancer
Weapon: Basic Zauber - A somewhat respectable blade, at least if you didn't know it was bought for 42 Neo-Shekels in a Chinese souvenir store.
Clothing: Robes - Long and mysterious.
Bling:
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 32/32
Health: Fine
Sarah
Level 1 Ex-Intelligence Agent
Weapon: Baton - Plastic and non-lethal, which is good because you don't have to worry about accidental death ending the interrogation prematurely.
Square Enix Goya Gun: Produced in a Square Enix Arms Factory, these Rifles shoot a single piercing laser beam designed to pierce armor and incapacitate.
Clothes: Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Cheap Suit - Good enough for work, unless you had to attend a dinner party.
Bling:
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
BP:20/20
Health: Left Ear Pierced
Wizardly Wonder
"Er, yeah, you're probably right. I'll go check out the magic - anyone wanna come with me?"
"I was planning to infiltrate the local authorities and check if they have any confidential and relevant information regarding LeBron's goal of ours."
Sarah checked her Square Enix Goya GunTM to get more accustomed to her weaponry, "However, I suggest we all move as a group. Using our unique abilities, I believe we can achieve much more than if we were separated. Unless anyone else has better ideas."
Also examine armor for its significant properties of defence and usage--how may I use it to my full potential?
Await consensus decision.
"...Did you even listen? Ugh. Fine. I'm going with this dude here to that magic place."
He points...uh...somewhere. Not really at anyone. But yeah. Magic place.
The Magic Place is where I be going!
To the magic shop!
Oi, wait for me!
To the magic shop we go!
Fruitful group discussions leads the party in the direction of the Great Magical Shop of Wizardly Wonders. The storefront is decorated with the name of the place, powered by a mixture of pure magic and installed neon lighting. As soon as they are inside, the Party is assaulted with the imagery of all sorts of magicalness: flying mice, glowing crystal balls, mobile skulls, self-arranging decks of cards and all sorts of weird, mystical devices, some of which are hard to explain without further observation and inquiry. Actually, it would be easier to tell what anything was if there wasn't a layer of smoke hanging around in the air, not thick enough to cause coughing but just enough to sting the eyes and be a general nuisance to the senses.
A man turns around from behind the counter, his eyes sad and droopy, his jaws sagging, though he looks to be only in his 30's, costumed in a classic Merlin the Wizard outfit, one that was probably bought at a costume store for 20 Neo-Shekels. "Welcome to the Great Magical Shop of Waverly Woozes. I'm the wise master wizard, Dillan the Enchanter, and I'll be...*cough*...'scuse me, tending to all your mystical desires." He raises his thin, weak-looking hands to conjure up a small shower of blue sparks. From the back of the store, a high-pitched girl's voice rings out, "Do we have customers? Like, for real?" Dillan turns around, "Of course we have customers, we're a fucking store, what do you think? Jesus Christ."
Sarah meanwhile gets accustomed to her Square Enix Goya Gun, getting a feel for the grip and weight. She finds that the gun has a dial where the setting of the gun can be changed. The options read Stun, Kill, Vaporize and Funky.
Doctor Bear
Level 1 Android
Weapon: Laser - A Standard android laser. Pew pew pew.
Clothes: Specialized Tunic - Oddly specific hole placed near the lower back. Normal otherwise.
Bling:
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician
Level 1 Shinobi Technician
Weapon: Unsilenced Pistol - Incredibly stealth. If it didn't have the minor side effects of muzzle flash and gunshot sound followed by someone falling to the ground screaming in agony, you wouldn't be able to even tell anything happened.
Clothes: Black Pajama Suit - Invaluable when blending into a background composed of black bedsheets.
Bling:
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 8/18
Health: Left Shoulder Burned
Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Level 1 Non-Pacifist Monk
Weapon: Unarmed - The default Non-Pacifist Monk weapon, a skilled martial artist's punch or kick can be just as deadly as any guns'hot or b-ball attack.
Clothes: White Gi - A simple Eastern get-up for practicing the material arts. Be wary of food stains.
Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Bling:
Combo Meter:10 Combo Points
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 30/30
Health: Fine
Krrosh Anvilhumper
Level 1 Celtic Space Warlord
Weapon: Rusty Claymore - Nothing beats a rusty claymore if you want to stock up on obsolete, ruined weaponry!
Clothes: Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Tattered Kilt - The tattering isn't all that bad, it didn't cover up that much to begin with.
Bling:
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 10/10
Health: Fine
Johnny Johnson the 2nd
Level 1 Zaubermancer
Weapon: Basic Zauber - A somewhat respectable blade, at least if you didn't know it was bought for 42 Neo-Shekels in a Chinese souvenir store.
Clothing: Robes - Long and mysterious.
Bling:
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 32/32
Health: Fine
Sarah
Level 1 Ex-Intelligence Agent
Weapon: Baton - Plastic and non-lethal, which is good because you don't have to worry about accidental death ending the interrogation prematurely.
Square Enix Goya Gun: Produced in a Square Enix Arms Factory, these Rifles shoot a single piercing laser beam designed to pierce armor and incapacitate.
Clothes: Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Cheap Suit - Good enough for work, unless you had to attend a dinner party.
Bling:
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
BP:20/20
Health: Left Ear Pierced
Wizardly Bureaucracy
"Could I inspect these relics before purchase, please?"
"The relics are kept in the back. About them, they're pretty...'volatile'. You can expect their containers, and you actually have to a sign a release form to purchase them. Look at this..." The wizard pulls out a sheet of paper from beneath the counter and slides it over to Nigel.
Name:
Gender:
Age:
Race:
Social Security/Wizard I.D.:
Have you purchased or used Relics before?
Does your family have a record of Relic use?
Do you have any allergic symptoms relating to Relics?
What purposes do you intend to use the purchased Relic for?
Sign Here: ________________________________________________
"What are the prophecies in question, if we may ask?"
"Legends about the general future, or even ones that can reveal your destiny, if you can find a compatible scroll. Generally, the less-vague higher-quality are more expensive. It depends on how many Neo-Shekels you're willing to spend."
Johnny just listens to the conversation.
Johnny stands around, listening while staying silent. It's at this time that a sentient garden gnome walks over and begins unlacing his shoes. "Blimey, yu' got the pattern all wrong mate...Don't mind me, 'ahm an expert...."
She finds that the gun has a dial where the setting of the gun can be changed. The options read Stun, Kill, Vaporize and Funky.
Interesting. On order of magnitude, given my guess, that must be the worst torment issued to the police. I wonder who the arms manufacturer is, and why in the world is this issued to policemen.
Service-issue? Or more for special weapons raids?
Sarah pondered the idea as her teammates were busy with their own business. A flying mouse passing by her helmet reminded her of the tiny things that poked at a person's mood--it was particularly cute and aware of its state, and enjoying the flight itself.
The goal was LeBron's, yet we're at a shop. Well, might as check anything that'd aid the situation.
"Do you sell any maps perchance?"
Those shards need to be found. Prime the conversation.
Talk!
"Maps? We don't carry too many anymore. What sorta' map are you looking for?"
Krrosh suddenly remembers something incredibly important!
Do you have any magical drugs?
"No." The head of a girl, the one who spoke before, pops out of the rear doorway to back to the end of the store. "Yes." Dillan stomps his feet, "Why do I let you still work here?!"
Rubric, seeing as everyone else was doing all the talking, decides to look around and try not to break anything.
"Don't break anything, don't break anything, don't break anything..."
[Willpower: Success]
Rubric's natural desire to break all the precious commodities eventually subsides.
Party Treasury: 74 Neo-Shekels
Party Loot:
Doctor Bear
Level 1 Android
Weapon: Laser - A Standard android laser. Pew pew pew.
Clothes: Specialized Tunic - Oddly specific hole placed near the lower back. Normal otherwise.
Bling:
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician
Level 1 Shinobi Technician
Weapon: Unsilenced Pistol - Incredibly stealth. If it didn't have the minor side effects of muzzle flash and gunshot sound followed by someone falling to the ground screaming in agony, you wouldn't be able to even tell anything happened.
Clothes: Black Pajama Suit - Invaluable when blending into a background composed of black bedsheets.
Bling:
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 8/18
Health: Left Shoulder Burned
Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Level 1 Non-Pacifist Monk
Weapon: Unarmed - The default Non-Pacifist Monk weapon, a skilled martial artist's punch or kick can be just as deadly as any guns'hot or b-ball attack.
Clothes: White Gi - A simple Eastern get-up for practicing the material arts. Be wary of food stains.
Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Bling:
Combo Meter:10 Combo Points
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 30/30
Health: Fine
Krrosh Anvilhumper
Level 1 Celtic Space Warlord
Weapon: Rusty Claymore - Nothing beats a rusty claymore if you want to stock up on obsolete, ruined weaponry!
Clothes: Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Tattered Kilt - The tattering isn't all that bad, it didn't cover up that much to begin with.
Bling:
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 10/10
Health: Fine
Johnny Johnson the 2nd
Level 1 Zaubermancer
Weapon: Basic Zauber - A somewhat respectable blade, at least if you didn't know it was bought for 42 Neo-Shekels in a Chinese souvenir store.
Clothing: Robes - Long and mysterious.
Bling:
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 32/32
Health: Fine
Sarah
Level 1 Ex-Intelligence Agent
Weapon: Baton - Plastic and non-lethal, which is good because you don't have to worry about accidental death ending the interrogation prematurely.
Square Enix Goya Gun: Produced in a Square Enix Arms Factory, these Rifles shoot a single piercing laser beam designed to pierce armor and incapacitate.
Clothes: Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Cheap Suit - Good enough for work, unless you had to attend a dinner party.
Bling:
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
BP:20/20
Health: Left Ear Pierced
An Actual Plan is Happening
"Hm. Have you any urgent tasks, odd jobs, monetarily rewarding activities, magical quests?" Nurse Akane asks, smiling at the shopkeeper.
"So, you're more of the questy type? Well, if you want some quick cash, how would you feel about clearing out the rats in the attic. I mean, they're Giant Rats, so their probably bigger than anything you've seen. I get it if you're not up to it, people aren't crazy about rats. I keep trying to get my niece to clear them out, but I really have no clue what she spends her time doing..."
I will take all of them, then.
"How many neo-shekels do you have on you? Lets see...per ounce I'll give you:
X - $25
Salazaar - $20
Crunk - $12
Opium Prime - $40
Death Cheese - $60
"Can you afford all that? No offense, but you and your clique don't seem like you've got a lot of spare cash going around."
"Indeed," declares Nigel. "We could possibly do all sorts of discreet stuff. How much are your drugs, man?"
"I don't sell drugs. This is a legitimate business. I'm sure you could find something in a back alley if you need that sort of thing, but please, take it outside. We don't need that in here."
Johnny raises an eyebrow.
Really, now. Tell me more.
"Because you assumin' that yuv' gutta' have them like that...when really..." The gnome finishes retying the shoelaces, which are now in a complete diamond shape on Johnny's foot. They work just as good as ever, he just wasn't aware that this pattern existed. Or was physical possible.
Of course. The local library. Didn't think of that.
"Thanks for the info there! Could you point me to that place? Just want to make sure. I...can't read that well. The signs and all." Sarah replies, making something up to ensure the location, then (after this is done,) she moved along towards the nearest person she could find amidst the fog and many obscurities of the store moving about--while animism was a very intriguing concept to her, the fact that she had to brush away a thing or two out of her path led to another idea: there needed to be awareness with these nice trinkets for them to be...durable.
"Hey," she says (to basically anyone who can hear, out of the shopkeeper's hearing range), "I'll be going to the library to check up where to look; any idea where to meet back?"
Coordinate plan, then as a consecutive action, get to the library mentioned!
Rubric's never been a really...magic-y person. The whole 'Way-Of-The-Fist' thing was always more appealing to him. So, while everyone is poking and prodding around the shop, he perks up when hearing someone mention going elsewhere.
"I will accompany you to the library. I am in need of a weapon, and as many have said, books are the worlds greatest weapon."
He clears his throat, and continues.
"Eugh. Sorry about that. Slipped into some kinda Confucius thing there. So...library?"
Follow Sarah to the Library, whenever she decides to leave.
"Sure thing, let me point it out to you on a map..." Dillan pulls out a map to show Sara which streets to take to reach the library. After giving out directions, Sara secretly confers a plan with Rubric to head out. The two of them head out to the library, past the streets of late night Neo-Atlanta. It's rather quiet except for the cars, the blaring music out of nowhere, the people yelling at each other across streets from apartment to apartment, it's an unusually peaceful night. They reach the library with no hassle, a monolith of a facility complete with Roman Columns and a statue of the Lady of Knowledge erected outside. Etched into the base of the statue are the words of an ancient Greek Philosopher when it comes to writing: Nemo curat de pristina charcter.
Before they can go through the rather imposing double doors, Rubric and Sara are stopped by a slender bespectacled lass clutching a volume of novels to her chest. "Excuse me! I don't think you should go inside. It's...scary." She sighs deeply, with a hint of disappointment almost if she had heard that the Banjo Kazooie Reboot was going to be PS4 Exclusive.
Party Treasury: 74 Neo-Shekels
Party Loot:
Doctor Bear
Level 1 Android
Weapon: Laser - A Standard android laser. Pew pew pew.
Clothes: Specialized Tunic - Oddly specific hole placed near the lower back. Normal otherwise.
Bling:
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician
Level 1 Shinobi Technician
Weapon: Unsilenced Pistol - Incredibly stealth. If it didn't have the minor side effects of muzzle flash and gunshot sound followed by someone falling to the ground screaming in agony, you wouldn't be able to even tell anything happened.
Clothes: Black Pajama Suit - Invaluable when blending into a background composed of black bedsheets.
Bling:
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 8/18
Health: Left Shoulder Burned
Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Level 1 Non-Pacifist Monk
Weapon: Unarmed - The default Non-Pacifist Monk weapon, a skilled martial artist's punch or kick can be just as deadly as any guns'hot or b-ball attack.
Clothes: White Gi - A simple Eastern get-up for practicing the material arts. Be wary of food stains.
Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Bling:
Combo Meter:10 Combo Points
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 30/30
Health: Fine
Krrosh Anvilhumper
Level 1 Celtic Space Warlord
Weapon: Rusty Claymore - Nothing beats a rusty claymore if you want to stock up on obsolete, ruined weaponry!
Clothes: Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Tattered Kilt - The tattering isn't all that bad, it didn't cover up that much to begin with.
Bling:
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 10/10
Health: Fine
Johnny Johnson the 2nd
Level 1 Zaubermancer
Weapon: Basic Zauber - A somewhat respectable blade, at least if you didn't know it was bought for 42 Neo-Shekels in a Chinese souvenir store.
Clothing: Robes - Long and mysterious.
Bling:
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 32/32
Health: Fine
Sarah
Level 1 Ex-Intelligence Agent
Weapon: Baton - Plastic and non-lethal, which is good because you don't have to worry about accidental death ending the interrogation prematurely.
Square Enix Goya Gun: Produced in a Square Enix Arms Factory, these Rifles shoot a single piercing laser beam designed to pierce armor and incapacitate.
Clothes: Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Cheap Suit - Good enough for work, unless you had to attend a dinner party.
Bling:
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
BP:20/20
Health: Left Ear Pierced
In the interest of time, any players can instantly teleport to Sara and Rubric's location, so that a turn isn't spent on everyone running to the library.
An Actual Plan is Happening: Part II
Is this here all the drugs you have at present?
"Yeah, you interested or nah?"
Say, gnome, how would you like to go on an adventure with me?
The Gnome looks up at Johnny Johnson. "I will come with you if you can lead me on a glorious crusade to glory and death in the name of God. God is this adventure sanctioned?" The gnome steps out of the store and looks into the sky. "God approves."
"How many neo-shekels would this service be worth, sir?"
"For all the rats? Erm....does $100 Neo-Shekels sound reasonable? I'd pay more for professional exterminators, but that's a good rate for amateurs."
Sarah was curious on why such things were considered 'scary', seeing the books the girl had. "I admit, I'm not that familiar with this place--though I do love libraries. What do you mean by scary, young girl? I'm a police officer, and I'm confident I can face whatever dangers lurk in the dark."
Investigate! (Ask what she meant)
"A police officer? Um, well..." She rubs her fingers together as she tries to formulate a sentence, in a manner that a great philosopher could describe as 'pretty fuckin' kawaii'. "I used to hang out here a lot and read or study, but that's when the fighting started. See, the library was publicly owned by the government, but then the Libertarians showed and demanded that government interference end and that there should be a Free Market Library system, where everyone has to buy books. Now people hoard books and sell them really expensive, so there's a lot of fighting, and now the Libertarians have taken over and police the whole thing. Their new title is the Librartarians. They are armed, so um...please be careful."
Party Treasury: 74 Neo-Shekels
Party Loot:
Doctor Bear
Level 1 Android
Weapon: Laser - A Standard android laser. Pew pew pew.
Clothes: Specialized Tunic - Oddly specific hole placed near the lower back. Normal otherwise.
Bling:
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician
Level 1 Shinobi Technician
Weapon: Unsilenced Pistol - Incredibly stealth. If it didn't have the minor side effects of muzzle flash and gunshot sound followed by someone falling to the ground screaming in agony, you wouldn't be able to even tell anything happened.
Clothes: Black Pajama Suit - Invaluable when blending into a background composed of black bedsheets.
Bling:
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 8/18
Health: Left Shoulder Burned
Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Level 1 Non-Pacifist Monk
Weapon: Unarmed - The default Non-Pacifist Monk weapon, a skilled martial artist's punch or kick can be just as deadly as any guns'hot or b-ball attack.
Clothes: White Gi - A simple Eastern get-up for practicing the material arts. Be wary of food stains.
Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Bling:
Combo Meter:10 Combo Points
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 30/30
Health: Fine
Krrosh Anvilhumper
Level 1 Celtic Space Warlord
Weapon: Rusty Claymore - Nothing beats a rusty claymore if you want to stock up on obsolete, ruined weaponry!
Clothes: Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Tattered Kilt - The tattering isn't all that bad, it didn't cover up that much to begin with.
Bling:
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 10/10
Health: Fine
Johnny Johnson the 2nd
Level 1 Zaubermancer
Weapon: Basic Zauber - A somewhat respectable blade, at least if you didn't know it was bought for 42 Neo-Shekels in a Chinese souvenir store.
Clothing: Robes - Long and mysterious.
Bling:
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 32/32
Health: Fine
Sarah
Level 1 Ex-Intelligence Agent
Weapon: Baton - Plastic and non-lethal, which is good because you don't have to worry about accidental death ending the interrogation prematurely.
Square Enix Goya Gun: Produced in a Square Enix Arms Factory, these Rifles shoot a single piercing laser beam designed to pierce armor and incapacitate.
Clothes: Police Armor - State-of-the-art Police Armor, not too heavy but able to take the brunt of small-arms fire as well as conventional bludgeoning, cutting and slashing weapons.
Cheap Suit - Good enough for work, unless you had to attend a dinner party.
Bling:
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
BP:20/20
Health: Left Ear Pierced