Aerial Cuddling, go. Convince Alduin to take me somewhere safer than this place will be in eight minutes.
(4) YOU CUDDLE HIM THE BEST AN OFFICE WORKER CAN CUDDLE A WORLD ENDING DRAGON. (6) HE EATS YOU.
ACTIVATE THE NUCLEAR BOMB IN THE BULLET THAT IS NOW IN MISKO'S GIRLFRIEND'S LEG.
(1) YOU ACTIVATE THE BOMB! OH. YOU LEFT THAT BULLET IN YOUR GUN. DAMN. THAT'S A SMALL EXPLOSION.
Damnit Corai!
>Tackle Corai, push his head to the ground and cave in his skull.
>Toss all condoms into the toliet. Muahaha!
Unless Corai killed her, in which ressurect her after removing the condoms.
(2) YOU KILL THAT PILE OF ASH! (1) YOU DO SO, BY PUTTING THEM INTO YOUR MOUTH AND LEAPING INTO THE TOILET. AS YOU GO UNDER, YOUR GIRLFRIEND PULLS YOU OUT OF THE WATER.
"GO, PIGGY! GO! GIDDYUP!"
>RIDE PIGGY TO WORK.
(6) IT SPRINTS BACK TO ITS HOME DIMENSION, WHERE YOU WORK. AS A SLAVE.
Teleport to infinite distance.
Invert spacial dimensions (infinity is now 0 and 0 is infinity)
(2) YOU WALK FOR A PRETTY LONG DISTANCE. (2) YOU THINK THAT HAPPENED. CAN'T TELL.
WANDER TOWARDS WORK.
WAIT FOR TELECONFERENCING THING TO START UP.
(6,5) BY THE TIME YOU GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO GET A SIGNAL, YOUR WANDERING HAS CAUSED YOU TO GROW A GREY, WIZENED BEARD. HUH. MAYBE YOU SHOULD WANDER TOWARDS WORK MORE DIRECTLY.
Phone boss and tell him that I quit. Go home and have a beer.
(6) A SNIPER RIFLE SHOT GOES THROUGH YOUR STERNUM BEFORE YOU CALL.
Get up as rage zombie
Sprint to work
(3) YOU'RE A ZOMBIE, AND YOU RUN A WHILE.
>RIDE COFFEE TABLE TO WORK
>MAKE IT RAIN CHOCOLATE
>FIRE DEATH RAY AT ALL BYPASSERS
(1) YOU STAND ON THE COFFEE TABLE. IT BREAKS. YOU HURT YOURSELF.
"WHY IS EARTH NOT DEAD!"
KILL EARTH!
(1) MAYBE... YOU
ARE EARTH! YOU KILL YOURSELF. OH WAIT. NOPE.
CONTINUE TO EAT CHILDREN
(6) THEY DON'T AGREE WITH YOU, AND YOU VOMIT YOUR GUTS OUT.
Jump out of sewer.
Get a bath.
(6) YOU LEAP FROM THE SEWER, FOR MILES, HEADING INTO THE THERMOSPHERE, WHERE YOU BAKE.
HUG EVERYONE. NOT NPCS.
(1) YOU FIRST TARGET IS A FACIST. HE SHOOTS YOU.
>RECOVER FROM EXPLOSION
>GRAB A LONG WOODEN POLE
>FLICK THE UNHOLY MAC OUT OF THE CAR ONTO NEARBY PASSERS-BY
(6) YOU RECOVER FROM THE EXPLOSION BY DRINKING THE MEMORY AWAY... WAIT, WHAT'S A POLE... SHIT,WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS MEDICAL STUFF...
DISTANCE TO WORK:
YOINK:20 miles and a dimensional leap
MULLET MASTER: 20 miles
SLAYER:10 miles
CORAI:19.999999 miles
ONYX:20
CASSANDRA: 2.5 miles
GUININANRUNIN: 27.5 miles
GWG: 4 miles
XANTALOS: 19 miles
MIAUW: 20 miles
TAVIK TOTH:
MILES
BORNO: 10 MILES
SLOWPOKE: 20 MILES
TRYRAR: 7.999999 MILES
TCM: 10 MILES
MISKO: 10 MILES
ASEAHERU: 20 MILES
SCAPHEAP: 5.5 miles and a lot of vertical distance.
DA_NANG: 20
THURIS: 20
Poll
44 (80%)
Author
Topic: YOU ARE STUCK IN TRAFFIC: Christ, you buggers are clueless. (Read 153679 times)