Bay 12 Games Forum
Dwarf Fortress => DF Community Games & Stories => Topic started by: LordPorkins on January 28, 2016, 03:09:34 pm
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I have decided to create a suggestion story thread, telling the tale of various dwarves and how they lived/died. This is roughly based off a terrible bunch of mods i created early on in my DF journey. While the order of events, and the majority of characters, are fictitious, i will point out a few features in my modattempt/disaster that will probably end up in the story at some point or another. Think of it as the type of things any dwarf would know in universe. These include thefollowing:
Aged Booze: Alcohol gets better the longer it sits
Ruined ruins: structures degrade if you dont use them enough
Immigrants can also arrive randomly
There are also 3 things that will make an appearance: A new mineral, a change to Strange moods, and a few changes of creature abilities.
Ooh, and also a brand new race.
I will choose to follow whoevers idea seems most interesting, unless 3+ other people want to go a different route
This is the tale, a tale of how we all died. Enjoy!
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Dwarves:
Iva Barkly- Resident farmer/brewer. Extreme alcohol skill
Drac Norshkabold- Twin of Tor. Somewhat competent at axe fighting
Tor Norshkabold- Twin of Drac, somewhat competent at sword fighting
Kanesh Kanter- Freakishly strong & tall. He almost reaches 3.5 feet! Decent wrestler and miner
Norris Chuckleston- Miner and Expedition leader. Enjoys beards.
Scrubs Mcgee- Physical embodiment of lucky n00bs. Ridiculously good at dodging
One guy who spawned midair and was decapitated by the fall (this actually happened to me)
The Overseer: that one dwarf who never shows up on any carvings for some reason
A solitary mountain, already populated with the ruins of a civilization long ago fallen. It has seen many travelers in its millennia, and so pays no attention to the rickety cart coming towards it along the ancient, overgrown path. It feels not the boot-treads of the seven, but it knows their fate. It knows that they will succumb to it, yes, all things belong to the mountain. And the mountain always gets its way.
-"The Mark of Stone" by Urist McBookkeeper
This is an attempt at organizing the various documents, journals and pamphlets that chronicle the history of the 4th reclamation attempt of Fort BoozeWeiser
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Reserved
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Post something random here to let me know that i dont have to keep begging people to read it.
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something random here to let me know that i dont have to keep begging people to read it.
As much as I cringe, this sounds like there may be !!FUN!! in store.
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Norris Chuckleston- Miner and Expedition leader. Enjoys beards.
The kick is strong.
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Yup too both answers. First chapters start soon.
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Overseers Log
1st Granite
Drac and Tor, the twin warriors, grab the wooden swords and shields they brought along with them. This is going to be a different expedition. The foremost goal will be to reclaim the ancient trade depot that juts from the side of the mount, the only evidence of the twisting tunnels and halls that compose the interior of the mountain. Norris , the main Miner and Expedition Leader will most likely accompany them. For now, the eager fighters mill about, impatiently scratching in the dirt with the tips of their swords. The rest go off to collect resources. This expedition has officially begun. We are so freakin doomed
23rd Granite
A few small huts have been hastily erected, and a rudimentary wall has been constructed around the village. 4 more immigrants have arrived, and fortunately two of them have some slight skill in the arts of combat. The scouting party's numbers have reached a total of four, five if we decide to include Norris in their ranks. So far he has shown himself fairly competent at fighting, having engaged in combat with a sponge for over 3 days before returning to his bed. The remaining 6 have been doing most of the real work, while the members of the militia attempted to become more experienced by hurling themselves at nearby wildlife. The exception here would be Norris, who spent his hours mining (except the aforementioned sponge incident) nearly the entire time, pausing only to drink and once to brain a nearby kobold. They elected to depart into the depot at dawn tomorrow. One of the immigrants was in only known as “The other guy.” We should probably send him on missions.
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SCOUTING REPORT
Combat Log: N/A
Total casualties: 0
Points of Interest (POI): Trading depot, caravan remains
Recommended Course of Action (RCA): Further Exploration
Loot Aquired: Some tools.
Journal of Norris
We made our first investigation into the ruins. It was unremarkable, in most aspects. We discovered the rotting framework of a caravan, but unfortunately our search discovered only a few copper tools and a spear. At the very least we now have some decent weapons. Though I'm never deviating from the ancient art of Pick-Jitsu. I do not look forward to hauling all this junk to whatever inconvenient spot the Overseer designated.
Overseers Log
1rst Slate
I have decided to send another party into the ruins. This time only three men will go, as I need Drac to help with eliminating the sponge, and Barkly is most likely passed out drunk somewhere. I might need to start rationing his ale intake.
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I am now doomed to read Norris' writings in Chuck Norris' voice. The Overseer is Morgan Freeman for some reason. Those mods of yours certainly sound interesting, especially the aged booze. PTW.
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SCOUTING REPORT
Combat Log: N/A
Total Casualties: 3 minorly wounded
POI: A freakin ridiculous amount of traps
RCA: Send Useless Immigrant Cannon Fodder
Loot Aquired: Nothing.
3rd Slate
Ok. We knew this was going to happen eventually. Turns out that the hallway going from the depot is also the "Bottleneck". Tor's report was next to useless it was so vague, but by talking with Kanesh I figured out what had happened. Apparently, the dwarves walked about halfway into the corridor before a ton of stones fell from the ceiling. After Tor's noggin got a lump the size of a Plump Helmet, they attempted to go forward, but only found that pretty much the entirety of the corridor was lined with spike traps. They then beat a hasty retreat, but not before Kanesh and the other dwarf got some decent sized scratches on them. Tor has been wandering aimlessly since then, and I fear that stone might have knocked a few screws loose. I've ordered all members of the party to take a day or two off to recover.
6th Slate
Ok, the warehouse expansion has finished, and Kanesh and OtherGuy have finished resting. Ive decided that Tor is not going anywhere for a while. Now, when I went to the hospital/deathpit and questioned Kanesh, he said right before the stones fell he spotted a lever farther down the passage. That probably deactivates them. He also said that the lever was PAST the traps. So I need some suicidal idiot to go and... Wait... What's that noise?
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solution: obtain pick. mine around the traps!
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Have you considered uploading images along with the story?
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((I can't draw particularly well, if anyone else wants to team up and do a partnership that would be awesome.Anyway…))
Journal of Norris
All I remember was someone punching me and waking up with my head in a barrel. I have no idea what happened, but it must've been fun.
Overseers Log
7th Slate
So apparently, Norris drank all the booze in the immediate vicinity, and decided to investigate the ruins to look for more. He managed to dodge every trap, then found a barrel of 15 year old Plump-Helmet Juice and started chugging. Eventually he pulled the lever. At least, I think that happened. I'm sending a Drac and Kanesh to get him out. I'm not sure whether to reward the drunk idiot or punish him. Then again, i can't really blame him. Sobriety does terrible things to a dwarf. I'll just force him to go on the next mission.
Note: We found a ruined hut on the other side of the mount. There's some basic wooden goods as well as the bones of a dwarf. Looks like this guy was the last one. Poor bugger. Unnervingly enough, his hut contained a single lever that was in the down position, and almost nothing else. I can only assume this has something to do with the fortresses collapse. There was also a wooden door at the back of the hut, but even Kanesh’s mighty strength was unable to make it budge. I am considering attempting to burn down the hut, but knowing this place that will cause the mountain to explode or something.
P.S. Im also stocking some emergency booze rations there just incase Norris decides to get stewed anytime soon. Just because he has a stronger addiction than most doesn't mean we don't enjoy getting wasted as well.
SCOUTING REPORT
Combat Log: We had to punch Norris to get him to leave the booze
Total Casualties: One Barrel of Finely Aged Plump-Ale
POI: Main hall, 3 alternate passageways, two leading downward. Switch of Trappy Death, Fireplace, skeleton of a dog(?)
Loot Aquired (LA) : 1 (Empty) Barrel, 3 Chairs, a Table, some Bones.
RCA: Immediate Detoxing of Norris, Establishing of Outpost in ruins.
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9th Slate
Turns out only one of the passageways we found are viable for exploration. One leads to the kitchens, and something big died in there, causing miasma so thick im contemplating attempting to distill it. We really cant deal with a bunch of gibbering, armed warriors right now so im just gonna wait this one out. It'll rot away eventually. I think. To be honest this place doesnt appear to follow much of conventional logic. Till then im making that area Forbidden. I just hope Norris doesn't remember booze is usually kept near the kitchens.
The other passageway has collapsed in on itself, and digging through might just cause even more instability. I plan on tunneling around it from the kitchens once the air freshens up. However, the third passageway is perfectly clear and stable (i hope.) Expeditions will begin tomorrow
In other news, three new immigrants moved in. I've assigned them to hunting and butchering. We have also struck a large vein of iron and are currently in the process of distributing armor and weapons to our militia. Ive decided to name our first scouting party the "Flying Boots." We are putting a few basic meals and some brewskis inside the main hall, in the hopes of setting up a military checkpoint. We haven't actually found anything hostile yet, but some scouts have reported strange thumping coming from the ceiling. Armok help that poor creature if it decides to make trouble. The F.B.s 'll show them what's what!
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11th Slate
Shit. Shitshitshitshitshitshit. We've got 3 dwarves stuck inside of the ruins, and their only exit has been blocked. Why does one need a trap that seals the fortress entrance??? WHY??? Norris, OtherGuy and some nameless redshirt were forging a path down the only accesible hallway when said redshirt stepped on a trap that caused a load of debris to collapse behind them. I can only hope they're not doing anything stupid.
Journal of Norris
After the dust cleared, me and OtherGuy immediately started looking for a weakness in the debris. Finding none, we decided that forging onward was probably the best option. After all, maybe we'd find a cache of more Plump-Ale! I dont care if Overseer threatened to kill me if i ever touched a drop of that stuff again, Finders-Keepers!
Walking onwards, we discovered a spiraling ramp that went up for some time. We immediately decided climbing it was our best option. Soon we arrived at the first level. Dust was everywhere, but from what we could tell this was mainly used as a storage area. All we could find was a ridiculously large pile of stone and wood.
Next level up, we hit jackpot.
It was so....BEAUTIFUL
Overseers Log:
14th Slate
A small military post has been assigned inside the "foyer" of the ruins. Right now Ive designated a.... What's that squealing sound?
Blandcutter
This is a steel Pickaxe. All craftdwarfship is of the finest quality. It is studded with Felsite. It menaces with spikes of obsidian and emerald. On it is engraved an image of a dwarf and Blandcutter the Artifact Pickaxe. The Dwarf is smithing the pickaxe. This relates to the creation of Blandcutter the Artifact Pickaxe by Urol Krakishkan in 253.
Journal of Norris
FINDERSKEEPERSFINDERSKEEPERSFINDERSKEEPERSFINDERSKEEPEES (This continues for a page or so) EEPERS
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Below is the following image:
This is a doodle. All craftdwarfship is absolute crap. It shows the Dwarf Norris and the artifact Pickaxe Blandcutter. Norris is.... Licking? Kissing? Caressing? Eating?... the artifact Pickaxe Blandcutter. This relates to the rediscovery of the Artifact Pickaxe Blandcutter by Norris in 278
Diary of OtherGuy
So, we found a found a pick, n' Norris started to bawl fer the beauty of it. Really, wasnt that much ta look at, but i never told 'm that. Leaving 'm behind, me 'n Redshirt continued our explho... Esplo... Scouting. Event'ally we found a great farm, mud n water all over everything. Red was dishtracted by the appearence of one o' dem mushroom folk,which he thoroughly loves the taste of. He was a bit vicious to the little bugger, but i figger hed just had a bit too much sun, is all. The plump-o managed to get away though. Lookin round, we saw that shrooms were pokin out o the mud every few feet. This was good, and i knew Mr. Overseer would be right pleased. I noticed the area was smaller than the precedin floor, so i made me a sumption that we were going up tha mount. I figgered we had 2, mebbe 3 floors till we got to the top. Will write more later.
By tha time we got back, Norris managed to stop blubbering long enough for us to convince 'm that yes, Mr, Overseer would let him keep his "Cutty-Pie." After he wiped the snot off his shnozz, we went up again. Then things got purty interestin'
Ya see, that thumpin wasnt actually a creature. It was one o dem Bronze Colossolusseses. It was right purty ta look at, n you could see your reflection in his fists as he imploded Redshirts head. He was in quite a state, one o his legs was missing. He was still able to crawl after us though, so we skedaddled away, only ta notice Mr. Shiny Knuckles had blocked the only exit. Norris went into a rage, and tried to drive his pick into the machine, but the big guy wasnt amused. Now, ive seen some purty impressive Bitch-Slaps in ma days, but this one puts em all ta shame. Norris went flyin clear across the room, and landed in a heap over inside of a minecart. This started up tha cart, which started to roll towards a large downward slope. I retaliated by loudly swearin at the giant as i ran to Norris’s’s aid. By this time tha cart had rolled to far for me to catch up, so i hopped inside anotha cart amd headed off after the cart and Norris. Im a writing this right before
(Indecipherable scribbles)
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((Sorry for the hiatus. Back on schedule! Found a ton of logs in Google docs i hadnt posted. This is gonna be good.))
Overseers Log
21st Slate
Well, it appears that we found what the hut was for. We also discovered where Norris and OtherGuy went. Early this morning there was a ridiculously large boom coming from the hut. Upon Scrubs brief peek at the remains, it was clear to see what happened. The inside of the hut was a mess, the door bashed open, unusable now. Norris and Otherguy lay sprawled on the floor, next to two extremely dented minecarts. Apparently the carts also carried some large hunks of iron ore, which, upon hitting the end of the track, spewed forth, rendering pretty much anything within 20 feet unusable for anything but salvage. From what i can make out from Norris’ ramblings (OtherGuy’s still unconscious) Redshirt ended up as pulp to a massive mechanical man. Now this is another problem i have to deal with. This place is betting hairier than a She-Trolls knockers. Norris refuses to reveal where exactly he got the pick, but i do know he hasn't let go of it in 3 days. I'm going to let him keep though. Good for morale and all that crap
P.S. 2 more migrants popped up uninvited. Apparently the king said there was a beer festival to be held here. One of the migrants, big fancy name, Schro-something, was extremely cranky. Our total population is now 15. We need to find to some wooden goods to salvage to, as we are running out of wood, and none of the trees around here are very productive.
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Dr. Schrodinger Operational Log
His majesty the king has sent me here on a secret mission to investigate rumors of a new element. BoozeWeiser was reputed to have found a mineral that contained “unfathomable power.” It's safe to assume this was part of the destruction of the fort. Right now i shall position myself as chief of engineering, which is quite satisfactory for the forts overall health. The overseer recently found some copper pipes running through a nearby pit, and had no idea if deconstruction was safe. I assured him that any magma this far towards the surface would have cooled long ago.
Overseers Journal
7th Felsite
Huzzah! We now have enough supplies to stretch our rations till Galena! When we knocked down the first section of the pipe,great gushes of water burst out. However, the system for pumping must have been off (or broken) and soon the water subsided. However, the water was just enough to cover the entire dirt pit with a thick layer of mud! I look forward to see our crops growing. Now, what should we plant. We need wood, and towercaps have been brought in our supplies, but wed need a roof to grow. Obviously plump helmets would be useful. Hmmmmmmmmm….
P.S. The kobolds have been getting a bit more common. However, some of our dwarves have taken a liking to the furry buggers, only swearing loudly at them instead of decapitation. This might end with many valuable resources lost. Norris is particularly vengeful, however, since he thinks the kobolds have been ogling his pick. Ha! They dont have the balls to steal an artifact. He only shook his head when i told him. He needs to be drunk, and fast.
Overseers Log
16th Felsite
5 more migrants arrived. Kanesh is now back to full health, and Otherguy is well enough for booze, though he still is a bit out of whack. Those kobolds have been getting more and more curious. It could be worse though. I dont even want to think what it would be like if we had a night-troll infestation. Still, we better start leaving random junk in places were valuables are usually kept. Ive heard that helps. Norris is now refusing to leave his hut. Im going to move him to the military post. Hes been in the sun too long.
Shroedingers Audio Log #1
“I have been dispatched by his royal highness to collect samples of a rumored new element, not slave away working for these cretinous, foul-mannered simpletons!”
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“Ok, now i can proceed. This is Scientific Researcher 115, Shroedinger Van Hilmmgrmser, reporting my arrival at Site 214, or, ‘Boozeweiser’ as the…. Natives...call it. I am recording my log this ingenious device of my own invention! It has the capability to record and playback speech! Oh, those snobs down in the Lava Cannon Project are going to regret letting me go!”
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“For now, i am taking part in the daily ‘jobs’ these idiots assogn to me daily. I just hope i find this element soon. Im getting tired of telling these fools which rock they should make what out of.
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(Found in a Kobolds den, scratched on a piece of hide)
Shiny
Shiny
Want it
Shiny
StupidShortLoudThing
Need more
Need more
Need it
Need it
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Im contemplating simply ending this tale, but I've got like 10 more pages of story I've found in my google drive. Ill probably stop when i post all the remaining stuff. But that might take awhile
P.S. sorry for the break
Overseers Log
1rst Felsite
The kobolds have begun to become quite an annoyance. Weve had reports of them sneaking up into our sleeping quarters, stealing pickaxes and other tools while we sleep. Norris is comvinced they are out to get him and his “Blandy” for some reason. I told him he needs to go drink some more. Kobolds wouldnt dare steal something directly from a dwarfs hands, and ive yet to see Norris put that thing down. Furthermore,
Overseers Log
24th Felsite
Hell has been unleashed.
We woke up the morning to discover Norris screaming bloody murder. Turns out those kobolds did have balls after all. A band of them had pulled off a stealth mission, infiltrating our camp with ease. Blandcutter was taken, and Norris was out for blood. Snatching up his old pickaxe, he charged after the small group of fuzzy thieves. Seeing him, one of them made an odd, squeaking noise, similar to the sound of sitting in an old chair. All at once, dozens of glowing red eyes began appearing, as if from nowhere. A few of the guards were following Norris, but immediately stopped in their tracks, gazing in awe at the fuzzy army appearing before their very eyes. Norris charged in, unheeded. I called an emergency alarm, but our weapons had been stripped overnight. Defenseless, with the hoard approaching swiftly, we had no choice but to run into the yawning mouth of the ruins. Many dwarves didn't make it, suffocating in the furry masses as the kobolds tried to steal everything they had on them. I saw a militiadwarf stab forward with a pitchfork, only for an opportunistic bugger to swipe the head, leaving him staring incredulously at a wooden stick. They then ripped every piece of armor off him, not caring if the corresponding appendages came with it. By Armok! This is not what should be happening! No kobolds should be this savage, yet this intelligent. I fear we have lost Norris, he was last seen charging blindly after the original thieves, running so fast i saw him split a kobold in half by ramming it with his shoulder. Only 13 of us are left, not counting myself. The town doesn't even appear to have ever existed. Everything but the corpses are gone. Miasma encircles the mountain like a mist, preventing any exit. The only food and supplies we have are the meager provisions set up in the Checkpoint. It seems our only chance would be to get by the Colosollus that guards the secondary exit. If that fails, the only direction is…. down.
[/spoiler]
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I hope you post the rest. It's a good story.
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Didn't realize anyone ever knew this existed. I'll upload more soon.
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Good story
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Good story
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/010/809/happy-oh-stop-it-you.jpg
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Overseers Log
25th Felsite
Praise Armok! For once this mountain gives us a chance to survive! The miasma in the kitchens has gone. This means that whatever it was that was rotting is done…. or it means that something ate the corpse. Damn, Barkly’s right, i am depressing. Once we get out of this hell-hole, im going to the nearest tavern, getting wasted, then laid, then wasted again.
Overseers Log
1rst Hematite
A sliver of hope! Turns out the miasma was coming out of the kitchens garbage chute. This means that the whatever-it-is that entered and died had access through a different part of the fort. If it can get in, we can get out! Going down the chute is far too risky. Boozeweiser was reputed to have over 120 floors. Falling down that far would mean instant death. We are going to have to find a way to the garbage through the tunnels. Every room in this place has a way to get into it. I imagine the dumps not any different. The kitchen has no other exit, and we dont want to face the colosollus again. Looks like we have to risk the tunnel.
7th Hematite
Took inventory today. We have enough food and booze to last till Limestone. After that, we have about a week of dried meat from the kitchens and *shudder* water. Right now all our weapons amount to is a couple of copper picks and axes that Norris was too lazy to move. For once im thankful for his sloth. Armoks beard, i miss him right now. Scrubs is an even worse miner than he is carpenter.
9th Hematite
Weve broken through! A thin shaft runs through the wreckage, leading to an ominously dark stairway descending. We best be heading down soon. Drac reported hearing scratchings at the main doorway last night on sentry duty. Apparently the kobolds have not been satisfied with the haul they have now. Those things werent right in the first place, i dont want to see them after having spent 15 days soaking in miasma. That wretched mist makes everything nastier. We set out tommorow.
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13th Hematite.
Good Fortune! We have discovered that the masonry and crafts level was close to the surface, like most forts. In heaps and piles great mounds of stone crafts were found. We managed to recover 2 granite swords. This could be our turning point. Properly equipped, Drac and Tor could probably handle anything up to the size of a Troll. On a side note, in the rubble of several tunnels was discovered chunks of some strange substance, unlike anything ever seen by anyone in the party. That nerdy small-beard, Schrodinger, seemed strangely curious about it. Heck, as long as it doesn't try to eat me, i don't care what it does. We have grabbed a few however, as evidence to what conspired here. When… IF we get out, others must be warned of what happened here.
Shroedingers Audio Log #72
This is it! The king will reward me handsomely for such a prize! This strange, orange sedimentite simply radiates with power! I have collected a fair amount of samples to present to His Majesty Cacame the 16th. Afterwards, i shall finally be appointed head of the royal !!Science!! Division! I will be reknown throughout this land! I will be POPULAR, POPULAR, POPULAR!!!!
….Ahem,
Anyway, im storing all of these samples in my backpack. I dont trust the intelligence of these incompetent oafs one bit. Theyd probably try to eat it or something.
Diary of Otherguy
I asked that weasly scientist guy if we could try turnin one o’ his special rocks inta a sword. He looked at me as if ah had asked him ta join an elven orgy. Prick.