Bay 12 Games Forum

Finally... => General Discussion => Topic started by: SalmonGod on November 02, 2011, 03:27:47 pm

Title: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: SalmonGod on November 02, 2011, 03:27:47 pm
Decided to make this, since the discussion was taking over the rage thread.

Discuss
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: kaijyuu on November 02, 2011, 03:28:35 pm
Lock yourself in a room with food and water.
Wait for zombies to all rot away.
???
Profit.
Die lonely and forgotten.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 02, 2011, 03:30:46 pm
Surviving zombies is easy enough. Destroy the handful of people originally infected and the disease can't spread. Unless the zombies start out in the hundreds or thousands and widely spread, it would be a cakewalk to eliminate them before you even had to satart worrying about 'survival'.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: mcclay on November 02, 2011, 03:32:18 pm
Go to a small convience store with a truck
Raid the shit outta it
head back home
Make a wall around your house, about 8 feet high.
make a garden in the back yard
???
peofit and survive like a boss
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Taricus on November 02, 2011, 03:32:28 pm
Get chainmail, axe and a nice safehouse and you've beaten the zombies. Good luck rebuilding!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Tellemurius on November 02, 2011, 03:32:38 pm
Zombie Hunter at your service!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Roboboy33 on November 02, 2011, 03:33:23 pm
Just  drop bircks on their heads from a 3rd story window.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: SalmonGod on November 02, 2011, 03:34:11 pm
Surviving zombies is easy enough. Destroy the handful of people originally infected and the disease can't spread. Unless the zombies start out in the hundreds or thousands and widely spread, it would be a cakewalk to eliminate them before you even had to satart worrying about 'survival'.

Depends on the type of zombies.

Romero-style slow zombies probably wouldn't get very far, unless you have a situation where everything recently dead rises up at roughly the same time.

28 Days Later-style raging out zombies would spread quite a bit, I imagine, before word of the problem could spread or major institutions could be mobilized against them.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Necro910 on November 02, 2011, 03:37:51 pm
Just  drop bircks on their heads from a 3rd story window.
Goodluck as they will never stop coming, and will eventually break in.
Get chainmail, axe and a nice safehouse and you've beaten the zombies. Good luck rebuilding!
They'll rip that up. 100+ zombies will grab you, and eventually crush you to death.
Go to a small convience store with a truck
Raid the shit outta it
head back home
Make a wall around your house, about 8 feet high.
make a garden in the back yard
???
peofit and survive like a boss
Meat ramp. Have fun.
Surviving zombies is easy enough. Destroy the handful of people originally infected and the disease can't spread. Unless the zombies start out in the hundreds or thousands and widely spread, it would be a cakewalk to eliminate them before you even had to satart worrying about 'survival'.
If you start killing people before the outbreak is large, you'll be arrested for murder. Dontcha luv it?
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Taricus on November 02, 2011, 03:38:58 pm
Well, you could steal a battleship and fire the shells at the zombies. Gibs everywhere!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: ChairmanPoo on November 02, 2011, 03:41:00 pm
I think that the whole point of the zombie genre is that they're easy to survive against (yet somehow they manage to eat everyone else), thus giving you free rein to do whatever you want in a world filled with humanoids who are acceptable targets for shooting (and also move slowly).

BTW: Salmongod, have you played Cataclysm? (check the other games forum if you havent)
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Nadaka on November 02, 2011, 03:41:27 pm
In a Romero event, all people who die with their brain intact become zombies. This presents an advanced persistent threat of outbreak that the modern plague style zombie threat does not present.

For a slightly different take on this kind of thing, you can check out the Monster series (Monster Island (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_Island_%28novel%29), Monster Nation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_Nation_%28novel%29) and Monster Planet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_Planet_%28novel%29)). Where all dead rise, but if you can avoid the brain damage from hypoxia during death you rise as an intelligent undead with all your human memories but an insatiable hunger for the flesh and life force of the living.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on November 02, 2011, 03:43:17 pm
In all honesty, I'd probably drive out into North Carolina's more rural regions for a few months and wait for the initial burst to calm down. After that, my group and I would loop back around to Fort Bragg and salvage as much as possible: guns, ammo, artillery, tanks or aircraft if any are left, and enough cargo trucks to carry all of it and more. Then we'd head back to Raleigh and clear out the city block by block, walling off areas when we stopped until the city belongs to us again. Then we'd establish the Free City of Raleigh and I would try to win the first election. That would eventually be expanded to the Republic of Carolina as our manpower and cleared areas expanded, and eventually we might re-establish the United States with any other states that have sprung up in the time it took for the infection to subside. And then, conquer everything that is still infected by destroying the zombies there and annexing it under the authority of the New Union. Of course, that all assumes that the world manages to fully collapse under the zombie menace, which I doubt.
I think that the whole point of the zombie genre is that they're easy to survive against (yet somehow they manage to eat everyone else), thus giving you free rein to do whatever you want in a world filled with humanoids who are acceptable targets for shooting (and also move slowly).
Oh yeah, the zombie genre is a complete power fantasy. You get to spend your whole life shooting zombies and doing whatever you want, dangerous, but certainly not boring.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: scriver on November 02, 2011, 03:59:44 pm
At least nowadays, I guess. Coincidently, most modern zombie movies suck.

Except 28 Days Later.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Grimshot on November 02, 2011, 04:19:35 pm
 Zombies freeze right? Well I would just get my family together, load up our guns, ammo, and MREs and keep heading north until its too cold for the undead. Alternatively, we could just take over Mackinac Island, I bet it would make a good stronghold.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 02, 2011, 04:21:19 pm
Hide away on an oil well and you'd be pretty damn set, as long as you had the know-how to keep it from falling apart and the supplies to provide food and water.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: SalmonGod on November 02, 2011, 04:22:59 pm
For a slightly different take on this kind of thing, you can check out the Monster series (Monster Island (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_Island_%28novel%29), Monster Nation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_Nation_%28novel%29) and Monster Planet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_Planet_%28novel%29)). Where all dead rise, but if you can avoid the brain damage from hypoxia during death you rise as an intelligent undead with all your human memories but an insatiable hunger for the flesh and life force of the living.

I also highly recommend these books.  I own the set, and they're one of my favorite works in the entire zombie genre.


As for the power fantasy allegations, I don't think this is necessarily true.  More often, zombie apocalypse is a setting that is very well equipped for social commentary and satire.  Zombies are a very manageable threat.  The whole point is that the survivors screw things up for each other by failing to work out their social dynamics.

Plus, the style of the setting has specific appeal for the modern, developed world.  I went ahead and looked up an old exchange between a co-worker and I on this subject.  He posted this link (http://gizmodo.com/5844684/heres-a-map-that-shows-where-the-people-who-google-zombies-are-from).

Quote from: me
Zombies tap into social issues and cultural consciousness that are mostly aimed at the developed world... not hard to understand. It's nothing to do with being so privileged that we have to make up things to be afraid of.

Quote from: co-worker
so you're saying zombies are #1stworldproblems?

Quote from: me
In a sense... They play on our subconscious feelings that are directly related to first world problems. Things such as the sense of individuality being drowned out in urban settings where there are too many voices and too much information, and where people are trapped into routines where they struggle to retain an identity (hence being trapped in enclosed spaces with small groups of peers surrounded by former human beings whose identities have been erased). I could go on, but that's just a smidgen of what it's really about that naturally appeals to people living in developed countries, or at least countries whose cultures have had plenty of time to deeply absorb the implications of the information age and overly-structured and controlled modern society.


BTW: Salmongod, have you played Cataclysm? (check the other games forum if you havent)

Also, no I haven't.  I'll check it out later.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Kadzar on November 02, 2011, 04:34:57 pm
I'm keeping an eye on this.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: yamgrenade on November 02, 2011, 04:46:42 pm
In all honesty, I'd probably drive out into North Carolina's more rural regions for a few months and wait for the initial burst to calm down. After that, my group and I would loop back around to Fort Bragg and salvage as much as possible: guns, ammo, artillery, tanks or aircraft if any are left, and enough cargo trucks to carry all of it and more. Then we'd head back to Raleigh and clear out the city block by block, walling off areas when we stopped until the city belongs to us again. Then we'd establish the Free City of Raleigh and I would try to win the first election. That would eventually be expanded to the Republic of Carolina as our manpower and cleared areas expanded, and eventually we might re-establish the United States with any other states that have sprung up in the time it took for the infection to subside. And then, conquer everything that is still infected by destroying the zombies there and annexing it under the authority of the New Union. Of course, that all assumes that the world manages to fully collapse under the zombie menace, which I doubt.
I think that the whole point of the zombie genre is that they're easy to survive against (yet somehow they manage to eat everyone else), thus giving you free rein to do whatever you want in a world filled with humanoids who are acceptable targets for shooting (and also move slowly).
Oh yeah, the zombie genre is a complete power fantasy. You get to spend your whole life shooting zombies and doing whatever you want, dangerous, but certainly not boring.

Pick me up. I live in Watauga county of NC.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 02, 2011, 04:51:57 pm
I'd probably find shelter in one of the local nuclear plants. They have well-equipped paramilitary guards and tank trenches surrounding the premises. Not quite a military base, but would still hold off zombies for a while.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Telgin on November 02, 2011, 05:42:42 pm
Magma, of course.  Oh, wait...

The real answer of course depends on a lot of things.  Just like everything else in fantasy, zombies come in 1000 flavors these days.  Realistically though, I can't see the military being completely overwhelmed by any version I've ever seen.  So getting in with them seems the best course of action if possible.

I'd probably be hosed in a real zombie infestation though.  I can't shoot straight for anything, and I'm not in the best of shape.  Out in the boonies where I grew up I'd probably be fine, but in this city I'm not so sure.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on November 02, 2011, 05:45:07 pm
I'd probably find shelter in one of the local nuclear plants. They have well-equipped paramilitary guards and tank trenches surrounding the premises. Not quite a military base, but would still hold off zombies for a while.
I hope you know how to turn off a nuclear power plant without having it blow up, meltdown, or both.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Necro910 on November 02, 2011, 05:48:47 pm
I'd probably find shelter in one of the local nuclear plants. They have well-equipped paramilitary guards and tank trenches surrounding the premises. Not quite a military base, but would still hold off zombies for a while.
I hope you know how to turn off a nuclear power plant without having it blow up, meltdown, or both.
...MOAR THERMITE?
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Telgin on November 02, 2011, 05:51:32 pm
I'd probably find shelter in one of the local nuclear plants. They have well-equipped paramilitary guards and tank trenches surrounding the premises. Not quite a military base, but would still hold off zombies for a while.
I hope you know how to turn off a nuclear power plant without having it blow up, meltdown, or both.

I would expect most modern power plants to do this safely more or less automatically.  Of course, I could be horribly wrong. :)

That said, a nuclear power plant is probably one of the better places to defend if you could hold up in one.  And you'd have power for extended periods, I'm pretty sure the fuel rods are good for years, maybe decades.  They probably keep them in some sort of rotation though, so no idea how long you could go without refueling.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Max White on November 02, 2011, 05:54:29 pm
You know what is the great thing about zombies? At least they let you join their team if yours starts to loose. Very kind of them, not like those annoying alien invasions.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Levi on November 02, 2011, 05:54:46 pm
Levi's plan for zombie eradication:

Step 1:  Find two close together buildings near an overpass, hill or other high area. 
Step 2:  Build ramp going from the hill to the top of the first building.
Step 3:  Sit on a lawnchair on the second building playing death metal at full blast.
Step 4:  Rum.

Code: [Select]
                           Ramp/bridge
                                               me and some tunes and some rum.
                                  _____     __@___
                     /----\======|     |   |     |
                    /      |     |     |   |     |
                ___/        \    |     |   |     |
              /              |   |     |   |     |
ZZZ__________/                \__#     #___#     #____________
  ^
  |                                      ^
Zombie Hoard          Hill      Office 1 |  Office 2
                                         |
                                    Zombie drop zone
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 02, 2011, 05:57:31 pm
What about the zombies coming up from the bottom of the 2nd building?
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Max White on November 02, 2011, 05:58:00 pm
Code: [Select]
                           Ramp/bridge
                                               me and some tunes and some rum.
                                  _____     __@___
                     /----\======|     |   |     |
                    /      |     |     |   |     |
                ___/        \    |     |   |     |
              /              |   |     |   |     |
ZZZ__________/                \__#     #___#     #____________ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
  ^                                                                  ^
  |                                      ^                           |
Zombie Hoard          Hill      Office 1 |  Office 2   Oh Noes! Your doomed now!
                                         |
                                    Zombie drop zone
Fix'd that for you.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Levi on November 02, 2011, 05:59:27 pm
What about the zombies coming up from the bottom of the 2nd building?

I destroyed the stairs.  Zombies are terrible climbers.   :P  Ideally I would have spent some time luring the zombies around town with my death metal towards the hill first.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Max White on November 02, 2011, 06:02:50 pm
Zombies are terrible climbers.
Bold assertions. I assume were basing this off the low metabolism, slow moving zombies then? Because the fast ones can climb like a boss!

Problem is that the slow moving ones can go longer without food, so you could be stuck on that roof for a long, long time. Hope you bought food for a while.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Levi on November 02, 2011, 06:06:54 pm
Zombies are terrible climbers.
Bold assertions. I assume were basing this off the low metabolism, slow moving zombies then? Because the fast ones can climb like a boss!

Problem is that the slow moving ones can go longer without food, so you could be stuck on that roof for a long, long time. Hope you bought food for a while.

If they were L4D style zombies I'd be toast in about 30 seconds.  I don't have a plan for those kinds of zombies.  :)

I don't necessarily have to kill 100% of the slow zombies, I think this would get rid of a good chunk of them.   I figure I'd need food/water for about two weeks up there. 
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 02, 2011, 06:13:48 pm
Fast zombies are likely to deteriorate rapidly as their muscle mass is damaged and not replaced. Give them a few days or a nice long run and they'll probably be moving a bit less quickly.

Though one could say a lot about the problems with trying to keep a car full of gas in a zombie apocalypse, the US actually has a shitload of stored gas all over the place. It would be fairly easy to use a hand pump to fill up a car from a gas station's giant underground tanks so long as you can keep any zombies held off long enough, and a vehicle would cut through a horde of normal zombies pretty easily, especially if you could mount it with some military hardware like an M2.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on November 02, 2011, 06:17:32 pm
Fast zombies might not be able to climb. It all depends on how much dexterity the zombie maintains, not their speed. A fast one could very well trip over its own hands trying to get up a ladder and fall onto it's fellow zombies, knocking them all over like bowling pins.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: SalmonGod on November 02, 2011, 06:18:38 pm
Friend of mine had a pretty genius idea for dealing with fast zombies.  Assuming the zombies will just run towards anything that grabs their attention, survivors in different barricaded shelters could take turns drawing zombie attention so that they keep running back and forth until they collapse.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on November 02, 2011, 06:20:13 pm
Friend of mine had a pretty genius idea for dealing with fast zombies.  Assuming the zombies will just run towards anything that grabs their attention, survivors in different barricaded shelters could take turns drawing zombie attention so that they keep running back and forth until they collapse.
....that's a strategy for later levels of tower defense games.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Max White on November 02, 2011, 06:20:33 pm
Or just get an RC car... Seems a lot safer.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 02, 2011, 06:30:01 pm
If I didn't feel terribly like holing up, I live right by a hospital with a helicopter that likely wouldn't be too hard to jack. Me and a couple buds could grab some equipment from the local National Guard depot and do some re-death from above.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 06:30:47 pm
I'd probably find shelter in one of the local nuclear plants. They have well-equipped paramilitary guards and tank trenches surrounding the premises. Not quite a military base, but would still hold off zombies for a while.
I hope you know how to turn off a nuclear power plant without having it blow up, meltdown, or both.

I would expect most modern power plants to do this safely more or less automatically.  Of course, I could be horribly wrong. :)

That said, a nuclear power plant is probably one of the better places to defend if you could hold up in one.  And you'd have power for extended periods, I'm pretty sure the fuel rods are good for years, maybe decades.  They probably keep them in some sort of rotation though, so no idea how long you could go without refueling.

The fuel rods? Ha, no problem, those will last for a LONG time. The cooling system on the other hand.... Depends, graphite bauble systems :3 nuclear power plants (most modern one's) should last for an equally long time, but yeah, once the power is out, emergency power is out, or worse, transformer's are overloaded, and the rods melt through their containers...

OH GAWD RADIOACTIVE CANCER ZOMBIES.

Besides people, zombies wouldn't need to bite you, just get some blood on your body [hands, face, open wounds] and you'd be insta screwed.
And all it would take is for rabies to become airborne and you already have 28 weeks later zombies D:

My plan is, well you've always heard the saying an Englishman's home is his castle....
GAME ON ZOMBIES.
*I also remembered something, the SAS is one of the, if not the best elite army force currently existing today, and they're trained to fight in close quarter environments, and are trained to kill with headshots. How are these guys not the perfect zombie kill squad?!!! They just need a Francis... Bill....

Interesting thing to note here, scientists have already made a way to create zombie cells, cells that don't die.

Problem is, the cells don't die even when damaged, hence, zombie cells. Though in reality this would probably make walking vegetables but still :/
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: SalmonGod on November 02, 2011, 06:31:56 pm
Pikes. Makes a mean zombie kabob that's ready to be cooked.

Stuff like this assumes sufficient opportunity to prepare, after shit has already hit the fan.  Not just directing this at you, either.  People tend to offer solutions that involve a lot of set-up.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 02, 2011, 06:32:44 pm
Friend of mine had a pretty genius idea for dealing with fast zombies.  Assuming the zombies will just run towards anything that grabs their attention, survivors in different barricaded shelters could take turns drawing zombie attention so that they keep running back and forth until they collapse.

Pikes. Makes a mean zombie kabob that's ready to be cooked.

Anyways, my plan involves hijacking a boat off Lake Michigan and taking that north into Canada. Fast or slow, I'm pretty sure water's gonna stop zombies in their tracks. Food and drinkable water are likely to be a crapshoot unless I can get a water purifier on board.
Fuck yes, fellow Minnesota/Wisconsin person. WE SHALL MAKE A DANGEROUS ZOMBIE FIGHTING TEAM.

I have no skills involving guns, but I can swing a club pretty good. Oh, and I have three guns in my house so there's another reason to team up with me. I can also provide morale boosts with my amazing stand up comedy routine.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 06:33:42 pm
What's so hard about locking your door? :P

I assume that this is after ample quarantine, media coverage and what not.

If you're in the centre of an urban environment whilst an endemic scale zombie outbreak occurs, you're basically screwed.
Also, England FTW

I hope zombie's can swim, otherwise they're not getting anywhere at all.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bauglir on November 02, 2011, 06:36:19 pm
Pikes. Makes a mean zombie kabob that's ready to be cooked.

Stuff like this assumes sufficient opportunity to prepare, after shit has already hit the fan.  Not just directing this at you, either.  People tend to offer solutions that involve a lot of set-up.
And most of them don't account for the inevitability of meat ramps. No, the most sensible plan is to hightail it to somewhere more than a day's walk into permafrost, and try to survive off the scraps of civilization until you can get a sufficiently large greenhouse system set up to sustain you and a small nucleus of fellow survivors who will be the basis for an eventually hopelessly inbred humanity.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Necro910 on November 02, 2011, 06:38:00 pm
Friend of mine had a pretty genius idea for dealing with fast zombies.  Assuming the zombies will just run towards anything that grabs their attention, survivors in different barricaded shelters could take turns drawing zombie attention so that they keep running back and forth until they collapse.

Pikes. Makes a mean zombie kabob that's ready to be cooked.

Anyways, my plan involves hijacking a boat off Lake Michigan and taking that north into Canada. Fast or slow, I'm pretty sure water's gonna stop zombies in their tracks. Food and drinkable water are likely to be a crapshoot unless I can get a water purifier on board.
Fuck yes, fellow Minnesota/Wisconsin person. WE SHALL MAKE A DANGEROUS ZOMBIE FIGHTING TEAM.

I have no skills involving guns, but I can swing a club pretty good. Oh, and I have three guns in my house so there's another reason to team up with me. I can also provide morale boosts with my amazing stand up comedy routine.
I can shoot get a headshot with a pistol 3/4 times, and a shot through the eyesocket about 1/4 times. I'm an emaciated weakfuck however, so I'm not going to do so well with the stabbies. Good thing I'm a right-wing crazy with enough gun to take out half the town  :P

Oh, who is this gentleman at the frontdo- NAPALM

Pikes. Makes a mean zombie kabob that's ready to be cooked.

Stuff like this assumes sufficient opportunity to prepare, after shit has already hit the fan.  Not just directing this at you, either.  People tend to offer solutions that involve a lot of set-up.
And most of them don't account for the inevitability of meat ramps. No, the most sensible plan is to hightail it to somewhere more than a day's walk into permafrost, and try to survive off the scraps of civilization until you can get a sufficiently large greenhouse system set up to sustain you and a small nucleus of fellow survivors who will be the basis for an eventually hopelessly inbred humanity.
This^
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 06:39:02 pm
Pikes. Makes a mean zombie kabob that's ready to be cooked.

Stuff like this assumes sufficient opportunity to prepare, after shit has already hit the fan.  Not just directing this at you, either.  People tend to offer solutions that involve a lot of set-up.
And most of them don't account for the inevitability of meat ramps. No, the most sensible plan is to hightail it to somewhere more than a day's walk into permafrost, and try to survive off the scraps of civilization until you can get a sufficiently large greenhouse system set up to sustain you and a small nucleus of fellow survivors who will be the basis for an eventually hopelessly inbred humanity.

Stand behind steel fence (Not a flimsy chain link, PROPER FENCE GRRRRR), get something sharp, stab zombies all day long.

Too many corpses? Burn zombies. Attract help with the smoke. TA DA!!

Also, I'd be useless with a gun.

Great with a sword /random fencing ftw/
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Max White on November 02, 2011, 06:42:46 pm
Firing a gun isn't as hard as games with skills make it out to be. Seriously, point and click interface, pretty simple.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 02, 2011, 06:43:08 pm
Me and my friends already have basic plans set down for zombie apocalypse. My cousin and his friends have plans to try and cause a zombie apocalypse so they can have fun kicking zombie ass. I'm not worried much about being unprepared for a zombie apocalypse.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Levi on November 02, 2011, 06:44:05 pm
Firing a gun isn't as hard as games with skills make it out to be. Seriously, point and click interface, pretty simple.

Maintaining and reloading is probably a challenge for those of us who have never touched a gun though.  Knowing me I'd probably have the safety on without realizing.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 02, 2011, 06:48:15 pm
I don't think I could handle the recoil of most big guns, so i'd just run around with a .22 just to be safe. Its not like im going to be shooting at long ranges anyways.

Also, thank god I live in a place that has really cold winters. Zombies will slow down considerably.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Andrew425 on November 02, 2011, 06:50:07 pm
.308 with twelve hundred rounds.

I'm set. All I need to do is board up the windows and doors, fill the bathtubs and sinks with water, bring in some firewood and nothing can get me.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 02, 2011, 06:51:01 pm
.308 with twelve hundred rounds.

I'm set. All I need to do is board up the windows and doors, fill the bathtubs and sinks with water, bring in some firewood and nothing can get me.
Except a large group of zombies :P
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 02, 2011, 06:51:31 pm
I don't think I could handle the recoil of most big guns, so i'd just run around with a .22 just to be safe. Its not like im going to be shooting at long ranges anyways.

Actually, .22LR rounds can go up to a mile and a half. They're not going to have much power at that distance, but they can still be a threat, and could probably take out a zombie with a generous dose of luck.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 06:52:08 pm
And food/water bladibalablblbalaaaaaa

Also, how comes' no one has mentioned crossbow? Quiet, and after some skill, very deadly, and you could even make your own bolts [again, with skill]
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: SalmonGod on November 02, 2011, 06:55:18 pm
Stand behind steel fence (Not a flimsy chain link, PROPER FENCE GRRRRR), get something sharp, stab zombies all day long.

Walking Dead? :)   A prison would be a pretty great place if you really need to find semi-permanent shelter.

But in a Romero-style scenario, I would prefer to stay out in the open.  I would escape and avoid congested urban environments as quickly as possible.  I'd spend my days in large, open spaces like empty parking lots or grassy fields with lots of visibility just singling out zombies for extermination.  I would favor melee weapons with long reach, that would allow me to dispatch zombies silently, at a safe distance, and limited only by my own endurance.  So long as I stay mobile, there should be no reason to get overwhelmed by a horde.  When I need to rest, I'd find small, sturdy buildings with two portals for entrance/exit.  Before settling in, I would always arrange for some type of diversion that I can use to clear one exit and get back out in the open again.  I imagine I could keep this up long enough to at least clear out a locality.

I would also head north and try to avoid warm weather, but also freezing temperatures (don't want to force myself into a shelter where I get trapped).

But this completely ignores the two biggest problems.  First, my #1 priority would be to raid a pharmacy for insulin, which could go wrong in all sorts of ways.  Everybody is going to be raiding stores for supplies, and it will be a highly crowded, hostile, and competitive environment.  Second, I think the biggest problem in a real walking dead situation, realistically, would be a massive explosion of carrion population and disease, coupled with a breakdown of the societal infrastructure designed to deal with such things.

Edit:  Oh and of course, I'd have my motorcycle gear, which makes me pretty much immune to human tooth/claw from head to toe.  It's also not terrible heavy, being mostly just really thick, tough fabric meant to resist abrasion with some padding around joints.  The only really cumbersome part to wear for long periods of time would be the helmet.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 02, 2011, 06:56:38 pm
I don't think I could handle the recoil of most big guns, so i'd just run around with a .22 just to be safe. Its not like im going to be shooting at long ranges anyways.

Actually, .22LR rounds can go up to a mile and a half. They're not going to have much power at that distance, but they can still be a threat, and could probably take out a zombie with a generous dose of luck.
Thank god im one lucky bastard then. The good thing about .22LR is that the ammo is supposedly easy to find, so I doubt i'll run out of ammo easily.

Also, my melee weapon of choice will be the crowbar. Not because its useful, but because I want to be Gordon Freeman. I'd also personally avoid any stores for the first week or so, and get stuff from nearby houses. The stores will be filled with looters, and I don't plan on getting shot/having to shoot an actual person within the first week.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 06:57:17 pm
Most diseases that infect humans will infect animals.

Good luck in the country side with whatever swarms of zombie animals you'll be having fun with.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 02, 2011, 06:58:55 pm
Most diseases that infect humans will infect animals.

Good luck in the country side with whatever swarms of zombie animals you'll be having fun with.
Well, the zombie virus we're all assuming will happen is one that won't effect animals (The Max Brooks version.).
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 02, 2011, 07:02:26 pm
Actually, the disease could only affect a few species at a time anyway, so unless the zombification affected a handful of common and dangerous species, animals would be easily dealt with.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: sonerohi on November 02, 2011, 07:05:59 pm
I think zombies follow the inverse ninja law. A singular zombie is met with little suspicion, and it can surprise and turn a great number of people and compromise safe positions. A horde of zombies is easily noticed and prepared for.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 07:07:50 pm
I would be much more worried about a extremely potent pathogen that just kill everyone, I mean, what are you going to do?

Kill everyone infected? That's out of the question.

Run away to the country side? Viable, before the road blocks and quarantine's are set up. What if you're already infected? What if someone close to you is infected?

BAAAAAHHH!!!!!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 02, 2011, 07:09:03 pm
But we're not talking about terrorist-pox, are we? We're talking about zombies.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 07:10:33 pm
I'm talking about virus epidemic, not terrorist pox.

Wait, what if biological weapons were used to disperse zombies?

OH GAWD NO NOT THE HEAD CRAB SHELLS AGAIN D:
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: quinnr on November 02, 2011, 07:14:08 pm
Surviving zombies is easy enough. Destroy the handful of people originally infected and the disease can't spread. Unless the zombies start out in the hundreds or thousands and widely spread, it would be a cakewalk to eliminate them before you even had to satart worrying about 'survival'.
...then I shall be the one who kills the zombie killers, in order to help the disease spread. Zombie survival would be a nice change of pace. Probably exciting enough to make up for the lack of Internet.

Anyways, as far as preparation goes, I have escape routes planned from any of my classes at school, did it for fun one day.

Zombie survival plans are very multipurpose though, for the most part. It's always good to know what to do in case all forms of civilization collapse.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 07:17:49 pm
I actually know where to find one as well ^_^
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 02, 2011, 07:18:23 pm
I know where my local National Guard depot is, and worst case scenario I hightail it to Fort Bragg or Parris Island. I live near gang territory, so the criminals should keep the area safe until I can get my own armament.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 02, 2011, 07:19:14 pm
Guys, we should make a map showing all of the states where Bay12ers live. Then the people in those states will make a zombie survival plan, and then we would make a plan to meet up. Planning for apocalypses are fun!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: RedWarrior0 on November 02, 2011, 07:20:09 pm
I'm thinking I'd go with linking up with other B12ers in SE MI and probably head off to Belle Isle. Or maybe go to a nuclear power plant. Or perhaps take the tunnel/bridge and escape to Canada.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 07:21:14 pm
I know where my local National Guard depot is, and worst case scenario I hightail it to Fort Bragg or Parris Island. I live near gang territory, so the criminals should keep the area safe until I can get my own armament.

Worst case scenario:

Spoiler: Zombeh Gangstahs (click to show/hide)

Guys, we should make a map showing all of the states where Bay12ers live. Then the people in those states will make a zombie survival plan, and then we would make a plan to meet up. Planning for apocalypses are fun!

Sounds fun, but what about those that don't live in America *cough cough*? DOOOOOOOOOOOMED
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 02, 2011, 07:21:53 pm
Fine, you UK guys can have your own map.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: sonerohi on November 02, 2011, 07:22:22 pm
If it comes down to a real zombie apocalypse, I'm going to follow a suggestion from Cracked: ditch guns entirely. The space you clear versus the amount of zombies you pull in with the noise makes them horribly inefficient. I've got a big ol' bow with a very heavy draw weight and roughly one hundred serviceable arrows, with who knows how many arrows with a... questionable trajectory. Also, zombie movement patterns, to my mind at least, seem similar to a brush fire. The best way to avoid it is to sprint right at it, because the other side can't support it anymore.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 07:23:00 pm
We will invade the zombie world!!!!

With our mighty balloons!!!

[providing 28 weeks later doesn't happen]
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Tellemurius on November 02, 2011, 07:24:17 pm
Colorado, i know the backroads and some self-containing towns up in the mountains.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: RedWarrior0 on November 02, 2011, 08:17:21 pm
So you plan on killing zombies with your rapier wit?

Fortunately, I have MaximumZero in my state somewhere, so that should give us enough time to fortify and arm.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Max White on November 02, 2011, 08:19:01 pm
Q: Can zombies swim, or otherwise transverse large bodies of water?
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 02, 2011, 08:19:24 pm
Q: Can zombies swim, or otherwise transverse large bodies of water?
Well they don't need air, so eventually they'll wash up somewhere.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 08:24:40 pm
Q: Can zombies swim, or otherwise transverse large bodies of water?
Well they don't need air, so eventually they'll wash up somewhere.

Are you talking about the hollywood scenario of the undead resurrected? Or the unlikely but possible scenario of infected humans?
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: RedWarrior0 on November 02, 2011, 08:25:03 pm
Don't count on them not being able to. If they're coordinated to do more than just QWOP around, they can probably also swim.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 08:25:25 pm
Don't count on them not being able to. If they're coordinated to do more than just QWOP around, they can probably also swim.

Zombie pirates? AARRrgh
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: SalmonGod on November 02, 2011, 08:26:17 pm
Pikes. Makes a mean zombie kabob that's ready to be cooked.

Stuff like this assumes sufficient opportunity to prepare, after shit has already hit the fan.  Not just directing this at you, either.  People tend to offer solutions that involve a lot of set-up.

Take and sharpen a long piece of wood. I'd assume this is possible by the time you have barricaded shelters and contact with other survivor groups.

I assume most people would be barricaded in their homes, being the location they would have to compete for the least.  I don't have many long, sturdy pieces of wood in my home, or the proper tools to sharpen them.  You'd also need time to dig holes to prop them up in, as I assume they're for setting up as a barrier for the zombies to impale themselves on. 

If you're going to set up obstacles for zombies to trip up and hurt themselves on, I think a field of tires would do the trick easily enough.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Max White on November 02, 2011, 08:26:59 pm
Fucking love that QWOP has become a verb.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 08:28:32 pm
If my house can fend off determined thugs armed with crowbars, it can fend off determined zombies smashing their brains out ;P

Plus, in the UK houses are designed to be able to combat crime as easily as possible, houses overlooking each other, street lights everywhere... Come to think of it, defending London from zombies would be easy :D

Unless the zombies floated down the Thames in a super zombie highway.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: RedWarrior0 on November 02, 2011, 08:31:39 pm
Fucking love that QWOP has become a verb.
I do believe something on the actual site said something about "Learn to QWOP" for what you need to do.

Also, one does not merely QWOP into Mordor.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: micelus on November 02, 2011, 08:55:51 pm
Fine, you UK guys can have your own map.

But what about us guys in Australia? Run off to the bush?
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 02, 2011, 08:57:10 pm
Fine, you UK guys can have your own map.

But what about us guys in Australia? Run off to the bush?
Ugh fine, EVERYONE GETS THEIR OWN MAP.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Max White on November 02, 2011, 08:57:19 pm
Australian's don't need to worry about a zombie invasion. The wildlife is so deadly that without the higher thought process to avoid it, the zombie invasion would be wiped out very quickly.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 08:58:12 pm
Australian's don't need to worry about a zombie invasion. The wildlife is so deadly that without the higher thought process to avoid it, the zombie invasion would be wiped out very quickly.

This wouldn't happen in madagascar.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Necro910 on November 02, 2011, 09:12:27 pm
Australian's don't need to worry about a zombie invasion. The wildlife is so deadly that without the higher thought process to avoid it, the zombie invasion would be wiped out very quickly.
Aussies also have cans.

AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT THEY CAN DO WITH CANS.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: GlyphGryph on November 02, 2011, 09:16:31 pm
The zombies would never get TO Madagascar - Madagascar would lock everything down long before that could happen.

Anyways, my plan in a zombie survival situation has a slim to none chance of survival overall. But I still think its a good plan. I will assume that if an epidemic has gotten this bad, I am already infected and my time is likely limited anyways. Either because everyone is being raised when they die, or its a water-born virus, or something to that effect. And since the roads would all probably be blocked and the trains wouldn't be running, I'm not getting out anyways.

I DO have enough wood on hand to fortify my house - the windows and all the doors, barring one room. This is step one.

Step two is getting my ham radio working in the basement, and moving most of the food and rainwater I keep for the plants down there. The water is the most dangerous, since this is in the room with the large windows. Painful though it may be, I might have to skip that - the rest of the windows are far enough off the ground I should be fine until they can be barricaded.

I have an upstairs, with an overhang over the outside. I have a lot of rope. Step three involves dressing up in my motorcycle gear, catching a zombie and dragging it up onto the roof, then handcuffing it and binding it up. Obviously the most dangerous part so far.

The zombie is chained in the basement, the entrances to the basement are sealed, and the experiments begin. Regular reports are made to anyone who cares to listen about what I discover. If the opportunity presents itself, I may capture an additional zombie. I will test just how much they can survive, what sets them off, how they adapt to different stimuli, whether they starve, whether they retain any sense of humanity. In essence, I will attempt to find out what, exactly, we are dealing with.

The rest of the plan depends on what I learn, assuming I live through this, which is unlikely. The least I can do is hope that my information get out and gets spread and helps others, really.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 02, 2011, 09:23:41 pm
You know what would be more interesting then trying to survive a zombie outbreak?

Trying to infect all other survivors as a zombie :P

Imagine infecting ezio from assassins creed....

Badass assassin hunter zombie D:

I'd think I'd build a safe house with a large neon glowing sign saying

>PILLS HERE<, and when the door opens it sets off a spring which launches zombie me into the survivor... Om nom nom nom.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Necro910 on November 02, 2011, 09:30:27 pm
The zombies would never get TO Madagascar - Madagascar would lock everything down long before that could happen.

Anyways, my plan in a zombie survival situation has a slim to none chance of survival overall. But I still think its a good plan. I will assume that if an epidemic has gotten this bad, I am already infected and my time is likely limited anyways. Either because everyone is being raised when they die, or its a water-born virus, or something to that effect. And since the roads would all probably be blocked and the trains wouldn't be running, I'm not getting out anyways.

I DO have enough wood on hand to fortify my house - the windows and all the doors, barring one room. This is step one.

Step two is getting my ham radio working in the basement, and moving most of the food and rainwater I keep for the plants down there. The water is the most dangerous, since this is in the room with the large windows. Painful though it may be, I might have to skip that - the rest of the windows are far enough off the ground I should be fine until they can be barricaded.

I have an upstairs, with an overhang over the outside. I have a lot of rope. Step three involves dressing up in my motorcycle gear, catching a zombie and dragging it up onto the roof, then handcuffing it and binding it up. Obviously the most dangerous part so far.

The zombie is chained in the basement, the entrances to the basement are sealed, and the experiments begin. Regular reports are made to anyone who cares to listen about what I discover. If the opportunity presents itself, I may capture an additional zombie. I will test just how much they can survive, what sets them off, how they adapt to different stimuli, whether they starve, whether they retain any sense of humanity. In essence, I will attempt to find out what, exactly, we are dealing with.

The rest of the plan depends on what I learn, assuming I live through this, which is unlikely. The least I can do is hope that my information get out and gets spread and helps others, really.
I probably would end up snapping, going insane, and making cupcakes.

Or I would retain my sanity, blowing up half the town, and leaving the entire west coast of the US as a nuclear waste. Either way...
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Flying Dice on November 02, 2011, 09:38:36 pm
I was going to answer as seriously as I could for a thread about zombie survival, but all I could come up with was Cataclysm jokes.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on November 02, 2011, 09:40:15 pm
On that note: I doubt the effectiveness of nuclear weapons against zombies. Almost everyone who died in the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki died from burns, debris, and radiation poisoning. Zombies are unaffected by burns that aren't total conflagration, and would be immune to radiation. Debris might do a good deal of harm to them, but short of being totally buried or completely ripped apart it would have limited effect on them.

By contrast, destruction of crucial infrastructure that will be needed after the zombie war and irradiation of whatever survives the blast are a high cost for killing a relatively small number of the zombies, as well as some of the precious few survivors that may be in the area.

TL;DR: Nuclear Club uses Total Launch on Zombie Hordes! It's not very effective...
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 02, 2011, 09:41:29 pm
Also, irradiated zombies are no fun.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Necro910 on November 02, 2011, 09:48:18 pm
On that note: I doubt the effectiveness of nuclear weapons against zombies. Almost everyone who died in the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki died from burns, debris, and radiation poisoning. Zombies are unaffected by burns that aren't total conflagration, and would be immune to radiation. Debris might do a good deal of harm to them, but short of being totally buried or completely ripped apart it would have limited effect on them.

By contrast, the destruction of crucial infrastructure that will be needed after the zombie war and irradiation of whatever survives the blast are a high cost for killing a relatively small number of the zombies, as well as some of the precious few survivors that may be in the area.

TL;DR: Nuclear Club uses Total Launch on Zombie Hordes! It's not very effective...
Ah, but the mass murder of survivors leaves nothing for the zombies to infect!

Gentledwarves, we have discovered another source of Fun.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Montague on November 02, 2011, 10:14:11 pm
It seems to me like a tank or bulldozer could just drive in circles downtown and eventually kill every zombie in a given city. The noise would draw them all out and the zombies would have a hard time stopping such a machine from squishing them.

Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 02, 2011, 10:15:41 pm
It seems to me like a tank or bulldozer could just drive in circles downtown and eventually kill every zombie in a given city. The noise would draw them all out and the zombies would have a hard time stopping such a machine from squishing them.
Unless you ran out of gas or got swarmed by a horde of zombies, effectively making you have to slowly go over crowds of zombies.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Montague on November 02, 2011, 10:25:35 pm
It seems to me like a tank or bulldozer could just drive in circles downtown and eventually kill every zombie in a given city. The noise would draw them all out and the zombies would have a hard time stopping such a machine from squishing them.
Unless you ran out of gas or got swarmed by a horde of zombies, effectively making you have to slowly go over crowds of zombies.

I suppose once the zombie hoards were thinned out a bit you could drive off to get more gas. Zombies would get squished faster then new zombies could shamble in to replace them, so it'd be less efficient to just drive around until you ran out of fuel. Although its not perfect, eventually, I think attrition would favor the survivors driving heavy vehicles around in circles downtown.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Flying Dice on November 02, 2011, 10:29:11 pm
It seems to me like a tank or bulldozer could just drive in circles downtown and eventually kill every zombie in a given city. The noise would draw them all out and the zombies would have a hard time stopping such a machine from squishing them.
Unless you ran out of gas or got swarmed by a horde of zombies, effectively making you have to slowly go over crowds of zombies.

I suppose once the zombie hoards were thinned out a bit you could drive off to get more gas. Zombies would get squished faster then new zombies could shamble in to replace them, so it'd be less efficient to just drive around until you ran out of fuel. Although its not perfect, eventually, I think attrition would favor the survivors driving heavy vehicles around in circles downtown.

Try driving a bus/truck/bulldozer through a tightly packed crowd of people. You don't get very far. And in any decent sized town, you're talking about tens of thousands of zombies at the least, all being drawn to you, rather than tens of people desperately running away. While you're in a slow-moving vehicle with either an open cab or a large profile with lots of windows. Eventually the corpses alone would keep you from moving, then you get swarmed and die.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Phantom on November 02, 2011, 10:32:47 pm
First things first, the heck happened to the nice Zombie Preparedness thread with +50 pages?

Second thing, I'll answer this seriously. Seeing as how the military isn't as incompetent as movies and books always make them out to be, I simply need to WALK about one mile to MCAS Miramar and sit tight with the nice Marine folks, getting a flight out on the many air vehicles if things go to junk. Actually, I might not even need to move, considering that the whole city basically houses several branches of the military.

And to give into Human Nature, I'd rather save myself rather than go all gung ho and be a hero. Leave the killing to the guys that are meant to do it.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: scriver on November 03, 2011, 01:19:53 am
Q: Can zombies swim, or otherwise transverse large bodies of water?
Well they don't need air, so eventually they'll wash up somewhere.

Well, if they're dead, fish will have a big feast and pick their bones clean. They'd sink like stones, and it's hard enough for people to move around underwater, slows wouldn't be very mobile at all. Just hope zombification doesn't spread to the fishes.

If they'ee alive, it would depend on how much intelligence they retain. Swimming doesn't come naturally, so "primitives" would have trouble staying above water no matter how fast they can flail around. And once they've gone underwater and start drowning, they're not much of a threat. Zombies keeping (even just some of) their reasoning and knowledge, though? Water is no trouble.


Fucking love that QWOP has become a verb.

...What does it mean?


Zombies are unaffected by burns that aren't total conflagration

Not really, depending on whether a good brain-boiling would be able to kill them or not.

Ugh.. I did mean to add my own meager strategies here, but writing on a phone is too much work. Have to do it later.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: RedWarrior0 on November 03, 2011, 05:39:03 am
Uh... Why would a zombie sink like a stone? The human body without air in the lungs very nearly floats as it is.

And if you have not tried QWOP, you are missing out. Google it.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: xordae on November 03, 2011, 06:51:05 am
Head off to a tropical island to enjoy your last years before the zombies inevitably get there too. Bring as many good steel tools as you can carry, bring plenty of Marijuana seeds and bring women.

No, seriously, the zombies will win. No matter how elaborate your plan is. They don't feel pain, they don't sleep, they never slow down and they're homing in on you.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: scriver on November 03, 2011, 06:58:44 am
Uh... Why would a zombie sink like a stone? The human body without air in the lungs very nearly floats as it is.

It was just an exaggeration.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: SalmonGod on November 03, 2011, 07:00:56 am
And if you have not tried QWOP, you are missing out. Google it.

Oh my god... why did I not know about this?!

Barbarossa:  How do you do this running shit without launching yourself backwards into a concussion?
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: scriver on November 03, 2011, 12:28:57 pm
So I finally remember I was going to search for this when on a computer.

...I gave up at 1,1m.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: RedWarrior0 on November 03, 2011, 01:18:50 pm
Easiest way to make progress is get on your knees and sort of scoot along, but it gets the hypothetical guy some pretty bad hypothetical scrapes.

Also, next version of QWOP needs to involve hurdles. Also also, there's a reason babies have such trouble walking.

Germane to the topic, basically, if a zombie is coordinated enough to actually walk and not walk around like the QWOP guy, water may not be enough.

If the zombies sink, then they can just walk around on the bottom.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Starver on November 03, 2011, 01:42:41 pm
Decided to make this, since the discussion was taking over the rage thread.

Discuss
Not read the Rage thread at all, but I'll say the same as I have in past discussions of this type.  I have some plans of what I'm going to do in case of zombie attack (or of aliens, Russians, Americans, southerners, strangely similar kids with strange eyes, creeping death, flying death, burrowing death, supernovae, supervillains, soup of the day shortages, other shortages, dwarfs, elves, kobolds, goblins, hiccups, adult acne and male patterned baldness), but if I tell anyone what they are and they end up being zombies (or aliens, Russians, Americans, etc...) then I've lost my advantage.

But feel free to talk amongst yourselves, so that my possible future zombie-self has a heads up, at least until the very next headshot.  I may well chip in if I've got comments, but you're not going to find my particular hidey-hole, thankyerverymuch!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Starver on November 03, 2011, 01:50:56 pm
Besides people, zombies wouldn't need to bite you, just get some blood on your body [hands, face, open wounds] and you'd be insta screwed.

[...]

*I also remembered something, the SAS is one of the, if not the best elite army force currently existing today, and they're trained to fight in close quarter environments, and are trained to kill with headshots. How are these guys not the perfect zombie kill squad?!!!

You pre-answered yourself.  Been dabbling with neutrinos at all, recently?
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Starver on November 03, 2011, 01:55:51 pm
Guys, we should make a map showing all of the states where Bay12ers live. Then the people in those states will make a zombie survival plan, and then we would make a plan to meet up. Planning for apocalypses are fun!
I don't like in a state.  (Well, my Mum would disagree, but it's my house, and I know where most things are (until she pops by and decides to tidy up, or until I know she's popping by and tidy up myself to unsuccessfully avoid the former.)
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 03, 2011, 02:21:08 pm
Easiest way to make progress is get on your knees and sort of scoot along, but it gets the hypothetical guy some pretty bad hypothetical scrapes.

Also, next version of QWOP needs to involve hurdles. Also also, there's a reason babies have such trouble walking.

Germane to the topic, basically, if a zombie is coordinated enough to actually walk and not walk around like the QWOP guy, water may not be enough.

If the zombies sink, then they can just walk around on the bottom.

Guys, a zombie needs it's brain to survive? No?

Then that means they also need a way to keep their energy levels up, which also means they need to breathe, so SULLY BOUSE but zombies would drown... In the sense that their brain would shut down from oxygen deprivation.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Necro910 on November 03, 2011, 02:27:10 pm
Easiest way to make progress is get on your knees and sort of scoot along, but it gets the hypothetical guy some pretty bad hypothetical scrapes.

Also, next version of QWOP needs to involve hurdles. Also also, there's a reason babies have such trouble walking.

Germane to the topic, basically, if a zombie is coordinated enough to actually walk and not walk around like the QWOP guy, water may not be enough.

If the zombies sink, then they can just walk around on the bottom.

Guys, a zombie needs it's brain to survive? No?

Then that means they also need a way to keep their energy levels up, which also means they need to breathe, so SULLY BOUSE but zombies would drown... In the sense that their brain would shut down from oxygen deprivation.
Perhaps the virus makes the brain run without oxygen? It's not nearly as efficient, but it might still work. Cells can operate without oxygen, but they won't be able to use 100% of the sugar they get.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Levi on November 03, 2011, 02:27:26 pm
Guys, a zombie needs it's brain to survive? No?

Then that means they also need a way to keep their energy levels up, which also means they need to breathe, so SULLY BOUSE but zombies would drown... In the sense that their brain would shut down from oxygen deprivation.

Maybe the brain isn't actually active, but is more of an ecosystem for a Zombie-inducing bacteria which is doing the real work, in which case oxygen deprivation might not be a huge deal. 

Or maybe they just go into hibernation until they get oxygen again.  Zombie biology is a mystery.   ???

Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: RedWarrior0 on November 03, 2011, 02:29:08 pm
And of course, if it DOES need air, then we run into lighter-than-water scenarios, and thus the zombies FLOAT.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: ChairmanPoo on November 03, 2011, 02:33:06 pm
Quote
Perhaps the virus makes the brain run without oxygen? It's not nearly as efficient, but it might still work. Cells can operate without oxygen, but they won't be able to use 100% of the sugar they get.

Not to any reasonable degree.


But zombies are pretty much absurd if you try to think too much about how they work, so it's better to avoid doing that.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 03, 2011, 02:33:53 pm
Easiest way to make progress is get on your knees and sort of scoot along, but it gets the hypothetical guy some pretty bad hypothetical scrapes.

Also, next version of QWOP needs to involve hurdles. Also also, there's a reason babies have such trouble walking.

Germane to the topic, basically, if a zombie is coordinated enough to actually walk and not walk around like the QWOP guy, water may not be enough.

If the zombies sink, then they can just walk around on the bottom.

Guys, a zombie needs it's brain to survive? No?

Then that means they also need a way to keep their energy levels up, which also means they need to breathe, so SULLY BOUSE but zombies would drown... In the sense that their brain would shut down from oxygen deprivation.
Perhaps the virus makes the brain run without oxygen? It's not nearly as efficient, but it might still work. Cells can operate without oxygen, but they won't be able to use 100% of the sugar they get.

The Zombie cells could respirate anaerobically, producing large amounts of Lactic Acid....

Zombie spitter anyone?

Well anyhow, I guess we can assume the zombie apocalypse everyone is preparing for does not obey the current limitations of biology, so why can't we have zombies jumping 60 feet in the air whilst throwing concrete slabs at you?

Ladies and Gentlemen..... HUNTER TANKS!!!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Necro910 on November 03, 2011, 02:44:34 pm
Easiest way to make progress is get on your knees and sort of scoot along, but it gets the hypothetical guy some pretty bad hypothetical scrapes.

Also, next version of QWOP needs to involve hurdles. Also also, there's a reason babies have such trouble walking.

Germane to the topic, basically, if a zombie is coordinated enough to actually walk and not walk around like the QWOP guy, water may not be enough.

If the zombies sink, then they can just walk around on the bottom.

Guys, a zombie needs it's brain to survive? No?

Then that means they also need a way to keep their energy levels up, which also means they need to breathe, so SULLY BOUSE but zombies would drown... In the sense that their brain would shut down from oxygen deprivation.
Perhaps the virus makes the brain run without oxygen? It's not nearly as efficient, but it might still work. Cells can operate without oxygen, but they won't be able to use 100% of the sugar they get.

The Zombie cells could respirate anaerobically, producing large amounts of Lactic Acid....

Zombie spitter anyone?

Well anyhow, I guess we can assume the zombie apocalypse everyone is preparing for does not obey the current limitations of biology, so why can't we have zombies jumping 60 feet in the air whilst throwing concrete slabs at you?

Ladies and Gentlemen..... HUNTER TANKS!!!
No, turning into a zombie will not turn you into a hulking mass of muscle the size of a car. However, you could produce lots of acid that forms into cysts. BOOMER!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 03, 2011, 02:57:20 pm
Necro, making cysts of anything bar bodily fluids [which would probably kill you with haemorrhages], turning you into a zombie with the desire to eat brains and explode shit defies any logical and biological sense.

So if we're preparing for the ultimate OH MY GOD WTFZOMBIES!!!!111!!one!!! situation, we might as well Prepare for the worse OH MY GOD WTFZOMBIES!!!!111!!one!!! situation.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Necro910 on November 03, 2011, 03:00:26 pm
Necro, making cysts of anything bar bodily fluids [which would probably kill you with haemorrhages], turning you into a zombie with the desire to eat brains and explode shit defies any logical and biological sense.

So if we're preparing for the ultimate OH MY GOD WTFZOMBIES!!!!111!!one!!! situation, we might as well Prepare for the worse OH MY GOD WTFZOMBIES!!!!111!!one!!! situation.
You're arguing if exploding zombies that shoot acid make any sense at all.

On Bay12.

With Necro910.

LET THERE BE LAWLZ
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: SalmonGod on November 03, 2011, 03:00:51 pm
Easiest way to make progress is get on your knees and sort of scoot along, but it gets the hypothetical guy some pretty bad hypothetical scrapes.

I've actually figured out how to make an actual upright run work... it's difficult, but I've managed to keep it up for a full 20 meters.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 03, 2011, 03:01:23 pm
Necro, making cysts of anything bar bodily fluids [which would probably kill you with haemorrhages], turning you into a zombie with the desire to eat brains and explode shit defies any logical and biological sense.

So if we're preparing for the ultimate OH MY GOD WTFZOMBIES!!!!111!!one!!! situation, we might as well Prepare for the worse OH MY GOD WTFZOMBIES!!!!111!!one!!! situation.
You're arguing if exploding zombies that shoot acid make any sense at all.

On Bay12.

With Necro910.

LET THERE BE LAWLZ

No, I'm saying if that's reasonable, my massive hunter tanks are :D

*The flying piece of muscle hits the survivor, breaking every bone in his body*
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: RedWarrior0 on November 03, 2011, 03:07:47 pm
Easiest way to make progress is get on your knees and sort of scoot along, but it gets the hypothetical guy some pretty bad hypothetical scrapes.

I've actually figured out how to make an actual upright run work... it's difficult, but I've managed to keep it up for a full 20 meters.

Witchcraft!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Svarte Troner on November 03, 2011, 03:43:57 pm
If (when) the zombie apocalypse happens:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 03, 2011, 03:44:41 pm
What if Greenland is shelled by head crab artillery?
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: SalmonGod on November 03, 2011, 03:50:26 pm
Easiest way to make progress is get on your knees and sort of scoot along, but it gets the hypothetical guy some pretty bad hypothetical scrapes.

I've actually figured out how to make an actual upright run work... it's difficult, but I've managed to keep it up for a full 20 meters.

Make that 32!!  I'll master this today.

Witchcraft!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Svarte Troner on November 03, 2011, 07:19:15 pm
What if Greenland is shelled by head crab artillery?

Baffin Island.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Angel Of Death on November 03, 2011, 09:24:37 pm
Step one: Get a firearm with ammo.

Step two: Climb a large building.

Step three: Put the handgun to my head

Step four: Shoot self in head and land off of building.

What? It's better than being evicerated and eaten.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Necro910 on November 03, 2011, 09:35:30 pm
Step one: Get a firearm with ammo.

Step two: Climb a large building.

Step three: Put the handgun to my head

Step four: Shoot self in head and land off of building.

What? It's better than beaing evicerated and eaten.
Fuck that, if I went depressed in the post-apoc world, I'd at least die in a blaze of glory. See: Blow up city block with explosives and incendiaries.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: SirAaronIII on November 03, 2011, 09:42:09 pm
Step one: Get a firearm with ammo.

Step two: Climb a large building.

Step three: Put the handgun to my head

Step four: Shoot self in head and land off of building.

What? It's better than beaing evicerated and eaten.
This is pretty much my plan, except with less building involved. Survival is too much trouble and it's not guaranteed the enemies will ever be defeated.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: RedWarrior0 on November 03, 2011, 10:01:42 pm
Best way for blaze of glory method would be to get one of those supertankers, float it into Zombie New York, get a really loud siren, wait until the zombies are absolutely surrounding the ship, then go boom. Like the L4D pipe bombs, but on a really big scale.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: SalmonGod on November 03, 2011, 10:07:15 pm
It's an opportunity to put your personal awesome to the test or die trying.  The only downside is that the scenario requires large numbers of people to die trying.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: GlyphGryph on November 03, 2011, 10:08:31 pm
Unless you are dealing with the classic Romero kind, where it isn't a virus - the dead are simply getting back up. Everywhere. Now.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 03, 2011, 10:16:46 pm
Except that isolated areas can often have just as many graves as anywhere else, as well as the fact that unless you're living over a necropolis, you've got a higher chance of finding something like a mass grave in rural areas than a city.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Itnetlolor on November 03, 2011, 11:50:36 pm
I'm in luck where I live if a zombie apocalypse were to occur.

Since it's essentially an island connected by a bridge or 2 (one's a flat drawbridge type (linked to a sub island with another sub island off it; and just on the mainland there is an old stone fort that has stood there for ages.), perfect for gateway; the other is a tall arching type, perfect for retractable rolling traps, and steep enough to slow zombies down), we can bottleneck zombie invaders that come in from the mainland, and take advantage of the river and ocean to trade for equipment and such as well as fish.

Not only that, but it's nearly a ghost town as long as it isn't Spring Break, Summer, NASA Launch, or Snowbird Season. Plenty other people in town are hardcore enough to withstand the ZA as well.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: ChairmanPoo on November 03, 2011, 11:56:02 pm
I think the best zombie survival strategy is to wear a full helmet (think: one of those things that the guys standing behind the man with the bat in baseball wear), and keep a cleaver on each hand at all times (consider strapping them with leather to ensure you don't lose them)
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: SalmonGod on November 04, 2011, 12:28:27 am
I think the best zombie survival strategy is to wear a full helmet (think: one of those things that the guys standing behind the man with the bat in baseball wear), and keep a cleaver on each hand at all times (consider strapping them with leather to ensure you don't lose them)

As I've been saying :)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And I have protective pants to go with that, too.  I've already survived an accident with that suit.  There's no way I could be scratched or bitten.  Just need a good weapon.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Montague on November 04, 2011, 12:44:18 am
I think the best zombie survival strategy is to wear a full helmet (think: one of those things that the guys standing behind the man with the bat in baseball wear), and keep a cleaver on each hand at all times (consider strapping them with leather to ensure you don't lose them)

I always thought it would suck if you had to face zombies wearing ballistic helmets, like the new kind being developed that stop military rifle rounds.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: scriver on November 04, 2011, 01:19:09 am
and keep a cleaver on each hand at all times (consider strapping them with leather to ensure you don't lose them)

That won't seem as handy when you get that cleaver stuck so deep in a skull you can't get it out, yet is still tied to it (and the zombie). And we all know that'll be how you go out, the rules of irony and storytelling demands it.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: ChairmanPoo on November 04, 2011, 01:33:45 am
Well, tbh the rig is supposed to increase my survival odds as a zombie, more than anything. I figure protection from headshots is a must, and the cleavers would make purveying food easier
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Itnetlolor on November 04, 2011, 01:37:59 am
Be sure to have at least some attire covered in truck bedliner. Just recently caught an episode of Mythbusters that they tested that stuff. Zombie-proof rating is pretty decent, provided you coat it well enough to serve as decent armor as well as retain enough flexibility to be useful.

Be sure to coat your walls as well. They'll have a hard time getting through it. I mean, that stuff is even explosive resistant; be it wooden or stone/concrete walls covered. Should also be a challenge to climb up for them, provided a smooth coating.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Neyvn on November 04, 2011, 02:07:59 am
My Zombie Survival Plan... Run Faster then the other guy........ Works with bears... :P
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Reudh on November 04, 2011, 02:49:51 am
Several choices. While I'm in an urban environment, I'm not far from several areas in the vicinity. Assuming the zombies cannot swim, and die after too long in water, and animals are non-infectable, these would be perfect.

Item the first: Mt. Dandenong
Probably not such a good idea, but it's easily fortified and there is a maze there that would confuse the zombies. Mount Dandenong- it's about 25km from my house and easily reachable by plane.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Item the second: Fort Nepean/Fort Pearce, Point Nepean
Ideal. It's an old fort. The national park before it has huge amounts of unexploded land mines. The road leading to the fort is three metres wide with a sheer drop of 10m into the raging torrent that is Bass Strait. Lots of old foxholes that are still usable. Extensive underground tunnels. Easily sealed off from the outside world by destroying the narrow road.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Item the third: South Channel Fort, Port Phillip Bay
Good as a stopping point. Poor opportunities for farming.... Easily defensible.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Item the fourth: Swan Island, Geelong
Owned by the Department of Defence. Soldier's training facility. Manned at all times. Only way in is via a bridge or through shallow water.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Item the fifth: French Island, Western Port Bay
Only accessible by boat. Massive farming abilities.
-Cons: Poorly defensible. Very large island. Western port bay, although dangerous at times is also shallow.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There you go. I'm fairly handy with melee weaponry, and I'm skilled at farming. i've not fired a gun before, though.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Starver on November 04, 2011, 06:51:32 am
[...]
Step four: Shoot self in head and land off of building.

What's that tale (possibly apocryphal, not going to Google for it, as I'd get loads of depressing stuff and might trigger some secret Samaritan-esque monitoring software) about the guy who, determined to die, tied a noose around his neck and to his car bumper on the edge of a cliff, doused himself in petrol and wielded a hand-gun, took some poison, set himself on light, jumped and tried to shoot himself in the head, just to make sure...

The shot went wide, severed the rope, so he just fell into the water below, putting out the fire and in panic he swallowed some  seawater which made him vomit out the poison.  He then swam to shore, deciding maybe it wasn't his time[1].

Or something like that.


[1] I suppose an alternate an ironic ending might be that he decided it wasn't his time, but drowned while trying to get back onto dry land, but there'd be forensic difficulty in working this final state-of-mind, 3rd-hand, unless there were witnesses.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Starver on November 04, 2011, 07:11:20 am
'Sides that, a zombie apocalypse is very unlikely to be a global apocalypse. We can't even get information to everyone on the planet, how is a virus supposed to do better?
Not knowing what the carrier mechanism is, if you start off in an 'unsafe' area and manage to get to a 'safe' one, then you might be the one to transmit the unsafeness to that area.  I'm pretty sure that while there'll be safe areas, you'd have a hard time outrunning the spread if the spread is capable of using you (or the same method of migration through other individuals, well-meaning or otherwise) as the stepping-stone.

You might be immune (like in I Am Legend, which is more a zombie story[1] than a vampire one, but does depend on your interpretation) but a carrier.  Until you know that any gated communities exist[2] through similar immunities, and not just through isolation and generally laying below the radar of the virus and their agents, to visit them would be irresponsible.  Also dangerous, if they've got the same doubts and would rather you not be trying to get in.

Anyway, if immune (or capable of keeping oneself uninfected, or at least still alive thus the infection/whatever has not taking hold like it only inevitably will once you do naturally expire), it might be considered your duty to (after appropriate safeguards have been made with respect to any other survivor(s) involved so as not to ruin anyone's run of good luck) Do Your Bit to safeguard the bits of the human race that haven't just been sealed in Cheyenne Mountain, or whatever equivalent locations exist.  Naturally, the Narrativium imperative will send you onto an ideological collision course with said sealed-off survivors (when they finally emerge), so non-allied survivor groups is definitely an issue to consider in all plans.  No "All living people come here!" signs hung on sky-scrapers, unless you're actively trying to draw in the living (or fiendish dead) into a trap, yourself.


[1] Original book included, although YMMV in all representations of the tale.
[2] IAL: The Movie, only.  IAL: The Book justifies the Legend part of the title much better than "hey, a guy just finally turned up from the city!"
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Blargityblarg on November 04, 2011, 07:20:06 am
[...]
Step four: Shoot self in head and land off of building.

What's that tale (possibly apocryphal, not going to Google for it, as I'd get loads of depressing stuff and might trigger some secret Samaritan-esque monitoring software) about the guy who, determined to die, tied a noose around his neck and to his car bumper on the edge of a cliff, doused himself in petrol and wielded a hand-gun, took some poison, set himself on light, jumped and tried to shoot himself in the head, just to make sure...

The shot went wide, severed the rope, so he just fell into the water below, putting out the fire and in panic he swallowed some  seawater which made him vomit out the poison.  He then swam to shore, deciding maybe it wasn't his time[1].

Or something like that.


[1] I suppose an alternate an ironic ending might be that he decided it wasn't his time, but drowned while trying to get back onto dry land, but there'd be forensic difficulty in working this final state-of-mind, 3rd-hand, unless there were witnesses.

I believe it actually went that he was rescued by fishermen, taken to hospital and died of hypothermia.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 04, 2011, 10:02:15 am
I heard a story of a person who was going to commit suicide, and put a single bullet in a revolver Russian Roulette style. He spun the chamber and pointed the gun at himself and pulled the trigger. And then four more times. He then put the gun down, because it obviously wasn't his time to die.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Tellemurius on November 04, 2011, 02:21:51 pm
Keep the suicide shit out, we are trying to survive not saying "fuck it"
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 04, 2011, 05:34:36 pm
Leather biking full suit [Stuff is REALLY THICK leather to stop your flesh being stripped from your body in a motorcycle crash], medieval full plate armour [LULLULULULUL not going to help you a lot but at least you'd die awesomely] or maybe body armour... Even fencing armour would do wonders.
THAT STUFF IS MADE FROM KEVLAR!!

KEVLAARRRR!!!!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 05, 2011, 10:49:00 am
Power armor beats everything short of vehicles. Getting power armor would be a feat unto itself, unfortunately.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 05, 2011, 11:49:50 am
Power armor beats everything short of vehicles. Getting power armor would be a feat unto itself, unfortunately.

What about;

KEVLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR??!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: ChairmanPoo on November 05, 2011, 12:10:36 pm
Why do you need kevlar? They're not using guns. A pair of reasonably thick jeans should be enough to fend off most damage
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 05, 2011, 12:24:38 pm
Quote from: ChairmanPoo
Why do you need kevlar? They're not using guns. A pair of reasonably thick jeans should be enough to fend off most damage

Quote from: ChairmanPoo
should

Do you really want to take your chances with jeans, or kevlar?
Both are easy to find, both are light weight, one can stop knives, the other looks trendy.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Itnetlolor on November 05, 2011, 12:38:12 pm
I would say bedliner-coated kevlar suits would make one quite zombie-proof and sufficient armor, provided a lightweight, yet durable enough, coating is applied. If it can fend off a dog bite, then it should definitely give someone a fighting chance against a horde of zombies. Even if overwhelmed, if you can sufficiently turtle into the suit (if wearing a helmet as well), and build enough resistance force to throw away the offending zombies to clear a path out, then it is a good choice of armor.

However, if the force is too overwhelming, then you're better off sending a redshirt decoy to disperse the horde a bit so you can make the break escape. The armor should minize damage at a more affordable price. It's no power armor, but it should be lightweight and pretty tough, even at a thin coating.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: ChairmanPoo on November 05, 2011, 12:44:32 pm
Kevlar is easy to find?!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 05, 2011, 12:47:55 pm
Kevlar is easy to find?!

Yup
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Starver on November 05, 2011, 03:38:49 pm
How about teflon? ;)
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: ChairmanPoo on November 05, 2011, 03:42:32 pm
How about grease?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9_jIa2WADc
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: RedWarrior0 on November 05, 2011, 04:13:26 pm
How about microscale fusion reactors?
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: SalmonGod on November 05, 2011, 04:24:58 pm
High quality motorcycle gear usually has kevlar in it.  Mine is ballistic nylon, which has still proven tough enough that I was able to walk away from an accident at 40 mph without any damage to myself or the gear.

Jeans, on the other hand... I pissed my brother off enough once when we were little that he bit right through them.  Definitely not sufficient protection against zombies.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 05, 2011, 04:34:43 pm
High quality motorcycle gear usually has kevlar in it.  Mine is ballistic nylon, which has still proven tough enough that I was able to walk away from an accident at 40 mph without any damage to myself or the gear.

Jeans, on the other hand... I pissed my brother off enough once when we were little that he bit right through them.  Definitely not sufficient protection against zombies.

Wow.

Also, plan B, move to china. Find Monks.

Monks > Zombies.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: ChairmanPoo on November 05, 2011, 05:05:45 pm
Maybe. But monks are no match for Zombie Monks Singin' the Blues

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 05, 2011, 05:33:11 pm
OH GOD WHERE IS THE BRAIN BLEACH
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: ChairmanPoo on November 05, 2011, 05:37:44 pm
OH GOD WHERE IS THE BRAIN BLEACH
No prob, put it in here with the rest
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 05, 2011, 05:44:46 pm
dammit, what has DF done to my brain, that bath tub looks tasty :/
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Zaerosz on November 05, 2011, 09:50:38 pm
Gentlemen/women, I believe I have found a suitable fortress. (http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/anti-zombie-fortress)
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: MaximumZero on November 05, 2011, 10:28:15 pm
Zombie survival plan, Maximum Style:

A) Raid and fortify my old (since decommissioned) Jr High School. It's big enough to comfortably house well over 100 people, and there are already bars on the windows! Gather as many survivors as I can.
B) Cover head to toe in leather gear (trenchcoat, military boots, waterproof hunting gloves) and racing helmet. Equip a couple katanas and my father's bigass pry bar/wood splitting maul/something else suitably heavy and able to crush a coconut or cleave a zed in two in one shot. Raid stores for food, bottled water, sporting goods whatnot such as football shoulder pads and baseball bats, tools and materials for fortifying, guns 'n' ammo, and gas cans. Guns are for other survivors to wield, fuel is for hauling stuff in trucks and stuff.
C) Raid the local military base/air force armory. Attempt to get father to attach vulcan cannon from an A10 to my car. Get smacked upside head.
D) Rebuild.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Bdthemag on November 05, 2011, 10:30:03 pm
Zombie Survival Plan, Bdthemag Style:

A) Freak the fuck out.
B) Realize that everything will be awesome and that you could totally survive a zombie apocalypse.
C) Ironically die from food poisoning.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: MaximumZero on November 05, 2011, 10:33:42 pm
Fortunately, I have MaximumZero in my state somewhere, so that should give us enough time to fortify and arm.

Or, I can follow Red's plan, and let him fortify while I suit up in junk-mail and wade through zombie hordes with my junk plated fists.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 05, 2011, 10:35:16 pm
Fortunately, I have MaximumZero in my state somewhere, so that should give us enough time to fortify and arm.

Or, I can follow Red's plan, and let him fortify while I suit up in junk-mail and wade through zombie hordes with my junk plated fists.
Your using junk mail to kill zombies? YOU WILL SEVERE THEIR HEADS WITH A BARRAGE OF PAPERCUTS.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: MaximumZero on November 05, 2011, 10:39:47 pm
Nah, I live less than a half mile from a humongous scrapyard. It would be easy enough to make a suit of pseudo plate mail from car bodies and random sheet metal.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Nadaka on November 05, 2011, 10:54:22 pm
Nah, I live less than a half mile from a humongous scrapyard. It would be easy enough to make a suit of pseudo plate mail from car bodies and random sheet metal.

For some reason, I always wanted a suit of armor crafted from license plates. The fact that aluminum makes terrible armor isn't as important looking damn cool.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: MaximumZero on November 05, 2011, 11:01:16 pm
If you've ever tried to disassemble a license plate with your bare hands, you would know that they are surprisingly hard to get to actually come apart. I wound up using bolt cutters. (I had to send a plate back to NY, or face a $50 penalty, and couldn't get my MI license until I did. Fuckers got it back in pieces.)
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: GlyphGryph on November 05, 2011, 11:17:51 pm
Quote
Nah, I live less than a half mile from a humongous scrapyard. It would be easy enough to make a suit of pseudo plate mail from car bodies and random sheet metal.
Yes, because digging through a scrapyard is exactly the sort of thing I'd want to be doing when the living dead could jump out at me at any moment.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: MaximumZero on November 05, 2011, 11:27:53 pm
You make a very valid point, but you have to get building materials from somewhere if you're going to bunker up. May as well make it metal.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Flying Dice on November 06, 2011, 02:08:11 am
Or you could just be paranoid and start directing every bit of money you can to funding the construction of a bunker somewhere in West Virginia, and then towards stocking it with decades worth of preserved food and equipment. Though after a few years living off of MREs, I'd be tempted to open those massive steel vault doors and let the damn things eat me.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Nadaka on November 06, 2011, 03:34:33 am
Or you could just be paranoid and start directing every bit of money you can to funding the construction of a bunker somewhere in West Virginia, and then towards stocking it with decades worth of preserved food and equipment. Though after a few years living off of MREs, I'd be tempted to open those massive steel vault doors and let the damn things eat me.

You laugh but there are an number of old cold war bunkers for sale.

http://www.missilebases.com/properties
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Necro910 on November 06, 2011, 03:41:35 am
Fortunately, I have MaximumZero in my state somewhere, so that should give us enough time to fortify and arm.

Or, I can follow Red's plan, and let him fortify while I suit up in junk-mail and wade through zombie hordes with my junk plated fists.
Your using junk mail to kill zombies? YOU WILL SEVERE THEIR HEADS WITH A BARRAGE OF PAPERCUTS.
YOU GOT MAIL, MOTHERFUCKERS
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Reudh on November 06, 2011, 03:45:15 am
Fortunately, I have MaximumZero in my state somewhere, so that should give us enough time to fortify and arm.

Or, I can follow Red's plan, and let him fortify while I suit up in junk-mail and wade through zombie hordes with my junk plated fists.
Your using junk mail to kill zombies? YOU WILL SEVERE THEIR HEADS WITH A BARRAGE OF PAPERCUTS.
YOU GOT MAIL, MOTHERFUCKERS

WASTE AWAY IN HELL, SPAMMERS!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Bdthemag on November 06, 2011, 03:46:10 am
Fortunately, I have MaximumZero in my state somewhere, so that should give us enough time to fortify and arm.

Or, I can follow Red's plan, and let him fortify while I suit up in junk-mail and wade through zombie hordes with my junk plated fists.
Your using junk mail to kill zombies? YOU WILL SEVERE THEIR HEADS WITH A BARRAGE OF PAPERCUTS.
YOU GOT MAIL, MOTHERFUCKERS

WASTE AWAY IN HELL, SPAMMERS!
TAKE A NIGERIAN PRINCE TO THE FACE ZEDS!

Okay, that one was lame. I am not good at this.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Necro910 on November 06, 2011, 03:47:59 am
Fortunately, I have MaximumZero in my state somewhere, so that should give us enough time to fortify and arm.

Or, I can follow Red's plan, and let him fortify while I suit up in junk-mail and wade through zombie hordes with my junk plated fists.
Your using junk mail to kill zombies? YOU WILL SEVERE THEIR HEADS WITH A BARRAGE OF PAPERCUTS.
YOU GOT MAIL, MOTHERFUCKERS

WASTE AWAY IN HELL, SPAMMERS!
PITCH PLEASE, LET'S SPICE IT UP
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Reudh on November 06, 2011, 03:49:43 am
Fortunately, I have MaximumZero in my state somewhere, so that should give us enough time to fortify and arm.

Or, I can follow Red's plan, and let him fortify while I suit up in junk-mail and wade through zombie hordes with my junk plated fists.
Your using junk mail to kill zombies? YOU WILL SEVERE THEIR HEADS WITH A BARRAGE OF PAPERCUTS.
YOU GOT MAIL, MOTHERFUCKERS

WASTE AWAY IN HELL, SPAMMERS!
PITCH PLEASE, LET'S SPICE IT UP
Pitch, the modern day MAGMA!!!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Necro910 on November 06, 2011, 03:52:08 am
Fortunately, I have MaximumZero in my state somewhere, so that should give us enough time to fortify and arm.

Or, I can follow Red's plan, and let him fortify while I suit up in junk-mail and wade through zombie hordes with my junk plated fists.
Your using junk mail to kill zombies? YOU WILL SEVERE THEIR HEADS WITH A BARRAGE OF PAPERCUTS.
YOU GOT MAIL, MOTHERFUCKERS

WASTE AWAY IN HELL, SPAMMERS!
PITCH PLEASE, LET'S SPICE IT UP
Pitch, the modern day MAGMA!!!
NAPALM

FUCK YEAH
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Starver on November 06, 2011, 06:02:57 pm
C) Raid the local military base/air force armory. Attempt to get father to attach vulcan cannon from an A10 to my car. Get smacked upside head.

Yeah... You know the old urban legend about the barely recognisable remains of car that had had JATOL rockets attached to it, ending up half way up a cliff, or something...  Are you planning on doing the same thing, but backwards?  The gun gives more recoil than both the Warthog engines provide forward thrust, albeit for only brief moments of time.  Without the ammo-bin limits imposed by needing to intentionally take off, I suspect you could probably get overenthusiastic about the firing times you employ, and all the time the bins are getting emptier and emptier.  :)


(Actually, isn't the A10 weapon called the Avenger, or something?  And what kind of zombies are you expecting, needing uranium-cored armour-piercing rounds to be fired at them at a rate of 50-70 rounds every second?  I think you've got other problems if you're needing one of them!)

((edit: Just decided to look it up on Wiki.  And on the article for the GAU-8/A Avenger, there's a picture of the gun next to an old-style VW Beetle.  Yeah.  That makes me want to get back to my old model-making practice where I'd Scratch-Build-A-Mad-Max-Vehicle... :) ))
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Flying Dice on November 06, 2011, 06:07:50 pm
C) Raid the local military base/air force armory. Attempt to get father to attach vulcan cannon from an A10 to my car. Get smacked upside head.

Yeah... You know the old urban legend about the barely recognisable remains of car that had had JATOL rockets attached to it, ending up half way up a cliff, or something...  Are you planning on doing the same thing, but backwards?  The gun gives more recoil than both the Warthog engines provide forward thrust, albeit for only brief moments of time.  Without the ammo-bin limits imposed by needing to intentionally take off, I suspect you could probably get overenthusiastic about the firing times you employ, and all the time the bins are getting emptier and emptier.  :)


(Actually, isn't the A10 weapon called the Avenger, or something?  And what kind of zombies are you expecting, needing uranium-cored armour-piercing rounds to be fired at them at a rate of 50-70 rounds every second?  I think you've got other problems if you're needing one of them!)

Well obviously he needs it to deal with the giant, titanium coated zombies that are being produced by the U.S. government for the third Gulf War.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: MaximumZero on November 06, 2011, 06:45:24 pm
C) Raid the local military base/air force armory. Attempt to get father to attach vulcan cannon from an A10 to my car. Get smacked upside head.

Yeah... You know the old urban legend about the barely recognisable remains of car that had had JATOL rockets attached to it, ending up half way up a cliff, or something...  Are you planning on doing the same thing, but backwards?  The gun gives more recoil than both the Warthog engines provide forward thrust, albeit for only brief moments of time.  Without the ammo-bin limits imposed by needing to intentionally take off, I suspect you could probably get overenthusiastic about the firing times you employ, and all the time the bins are getting emptier and emptier.  :)


(Actually, isn't the A10 weapon called the Avenger, or something?  And what kind of zombies are you expecting, needing uranium-cored armour-piercing rounds to be fired at them at a rate of 50-70 rounds every second?  I think you've got other problems if you're needing one of them!)

((edit: Just decided to look it up on Wiki.  And on the article for the GAU-8/A Avenger, there's a picture of the gun next to an old-style VW Beetle.  Yeah.  That makes me want to get back to my old model-making practice where I'd Scratch-Build-A-Mad-Max-Vehicle... :) ))

It would be glorious. Remember that I drive a car that weighs less than 2500 lbs.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Flying Dice on November 06, 2011, 07:00:53 pm
C) Raid the local military base/air force armory. Attempt to get father to attach vulcan cannon from an A10 to my car. Get smacked upside head.

Yeah... You know the old urban legend about the barely recognisable remains of car that had had JATOL rockets attached to it, ending up half way up a cliff, or something...  Are you planning on doing the same thing, but backwards?  The gun gives more recoil than both the Warthog engines provide forward thrust, albeit for only brief moments of time.  Without the ammo-bin limits imposed by needing to intentionally take off, I suspect you could probably get overenthusiastic about the firing times you employ, and all the time the bins are getting emptier and emptier.  :)


(Actually, isn't the A10 weapon called the Avenger, or something?  And what kind of zombies are you expecting, needing uranium-cored armour-piercing rounds to be fired at them at a rate of 50-70 rounds every second?  I think you've got other problems if you're needing one of them!)

((edit: Just decided to look it up on Wiki.  And on the article for the GAU-8/A Avenger, there's a picture of the gun next to an old-style VW Beetle.  Yeah.  That makes me want to get back to my old model-making practice where I'd Scratch-Build-A-Mad-Max-Vehicle... :) ))

It would be glorious. Remember that I drive a car that weighs less than 2500 lbs.

Well clearly the proper system would involve an Avenger on each end of the vehicle. Park on a narrow bridge, attract zombies, activate, profit. If thousands of corpses are profit. Because in the future, they will be. You'll walk into a convenience store, buy a coffee, and drop a severed leg on the counter. When you get out of a cab, you'll pass the cabbie a torso, and tell him to keep the organs. There will be videos online of would-be music stars fanning out a collection of severed hands. It will be glorious.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 06, 2011, 07:06:45 pm
Considering zombies, that kind of currency would devalue quickly.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 06, 2011, 07:12:06 pm
Wut about resident evil zombies? Those things are freaking juggernauts.

WHAT ABOUT SILENT HILL ZOMBIES?!!


OH SHIT IT'S PYRAMID HEAD! AND HIS COUSIN CIRCLE FACE! AND HIS DOG TETRAHEDRON WOOF!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Itnetlolor on November 06, 2011, 07:12:20 pm
What kind of currency would be best for the post-apocalypse? I would imagine trade credit would still be used, based on either necessity or usefulness (food being the highest value).
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 06, 2011, 07:13:34 pm
What kind of currency would be best for the post-apocalypse? I would imagine trade credit would still be used, based on either necessity or usefulness (food being the highest value).

Water would be the highest value, silly mortal.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Urist Mcinternetuser on November 06, 2011, 07:14:37 pm
Sorry, this was from an earlier part of the conversation but, I just QWOPed my way to the end! It took me 20 minutes.
As for my zombie plan, gather family, board up windows, survive off of food (Under no circumstances will we eat the cats, they're family and skilled hunters, and will probably hiss at zombies.), forage surrounding neighborhood, with dad, grandpa, and two guns (grandpa because he went through bootcamp, and knows how to use guns. Plus they're his guns.), when food runs out in surrounding area, we must venture further out but keep our shelter. We will leave a gun at home with the others at all times, and we could hunt coyote, deer, and rabbits, however sad that will make me.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 06, 2011, 07:16:18 pm
Sorry, this was from an earlier part of the conversation but, I just QWOPed my way to the end! It took me 20 minutes.
As for my zombie plan, gather family, board up windows, survive off of food (Under no circumstances will we eat the cats, they're family and skilled hunters, and will probably hiss at zombies.), forage surrounding neighborhood, with dad, grandpa, and two guns (grandpa because he went through bootcamp, and knows how to use guns. Plus they're his guns.), when food runs out in surrounding area, we must venture further out but keep our shelter. We will leave a gun at home with the others at all times, and we could hunt coyote, deer, and rabbits, however sad that will make me.

SILLY MORTAL! ONE GUN WITH YOUR FAMILY WILL NOT SAVE YOU!!!

Plus, having a gun, being able to use it, and using it well are three very separate things.
And food/water will run out very quickly, not to mention the mental problems that would arise from being confined for so long. Who's up for some cupcakes?
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: ChairmanPoo on November 06, 2011, 07:16:31 pm
What kind of currency would be best for the post-apocalypse? I would imagine trade credit would still be used, based on either necessity or usefulness (food being the highest value).
Bottlecaps, duh.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: MaximumZero on November 06, 2011, 07:21:51 pm
I could trade "Not punching your face" for goods, but I have a feeling that this would make me a bad person.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 06, 2011, 07:22:08 pm
And zombie chow.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Necro910 on November 06, 2011, 07:25:56 pm
I could trade "Not punching your face" for goods, but I have a feeling that this would make me a bad person.
Grab an airhorn! HONK! Give me all your cheese! HONK!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: MaximumZero on November 06, 2011, 07:26:57 pm
I could trade "Not punching your face" for goods, but I have a feeling that this would make me a bad person.
Grab an airhorn! HONK! Give me all your cheese! HONK!
Honk? O_o???
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 06, 2011, 07:52:33 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Bdthemag on November 06, 2011, 07:53:18 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
How am I not suprised that Imiknorris threw in a Homestuck reference.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 06, 2011, 07:53:49 pm
It was just sitting there, waiting for someone to do it.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Bdthemag on November 06, 2011, 07:54:50 pm
Im only jealous that I didn't get to do it first.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Heron TSG on November 06, 2011, 08:31:00 pm
Barbarossa:  How do you do this running shit without launching yourself backwards into a concussion?
Just caught this in the OOC quotes thread. Here's my advice: Whenever I go running, I just keep repeating this litany out loud.

"LEFT THIGH! RIGHT CALF! RIGHT THIGH! LEFT CALF! REPEAT! MAINTAIN MOMENTUM!"

It usually scares my legs so badly that I just zoom right along. You should try it sometime in a public place where people can offer you tips on correcting your technique.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 06, 2011, 08:57:23 pm
Barbarossa:  How do you do this running shit without launching yourself backwards into a concussion?
Just caught this in the OOC quotes thread. Here's my advice: Whenever I go running, I just keep repeating this litany out loud.

"LEFT THIGH! RIGHT CALF! RIGHT THIGH! LEFT CALF! REPEAT! MAINTAIN MOMENTUM!"

It usually scares my legs so badly that I just zoom right along. You should try it sometime in a public place where people can offer you tips on correcting your technique.

Inside court.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Necro910 on November 09, 2011, 12:29:09 pm
I could trade "Not punching your face" for goods, but I have a feeling that this would make me a bad person.
Grab an airhorn! HONK! Give me all your cheese! HONK!
Honk? O_o???
Zombies will investigate noises. SO CLOWNS SHALL BE THE NEW WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'll need to look at Homestuck sometime.

For the sole purpose of "WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE"
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: MaximumZero on November 09, 2011, 12:32:01 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'll need to look at Homestuck sometime.

For the sole purpose of "WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE"

I've been meaning to do that myself, but I have too much stuff that my time is being wasted on at the moment as it is.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: RedKing on November 09, 2011, 12:38:04 pm
I could trade "Not punching your face" for goods, but I have a feeling that this would make me a bad person.
Grab an airhorn! HONK! Give me all your cheese! HONK!
Honk? O_o???
Zombies will investigate noises. SO CLOWNS SHALL BE THE NEW WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION
That is a brilliant piece of fridge logic. I will not be fulfilled until I see a setting where the heroes use squeaky toys and whoopee cushions to confuse and distract zombies.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Necro910 on November 09, 2011, 12:41:30 pm
I could trade "Not punching your face" for goods, but I have a feeling that this would make me a bad person.
Grab an airhorn! HONK! Give me all your cheese! HONK!
Honk? O_o???
Zombies will investigate noises. SO CLOWNS SHALL BE THE NEW WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION
That is a brilliant piece of fridge logic. I will not be fulfilled until I see a setting where the heroes use squeaky toys and whoopee cushions to confuse and distract zombies.
I think it would confuse and distract the humans as well  :P

Screw fireworks! USE DOG TOYS!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: MaximumZero on November 09, 2011, 12:46:07 pm
Maybe we should contact Sarah Northway with that little tidbit of information...
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Necro910 on November 09, 2011, 12:47:46 pm
Maybe we should contact Sarah Northway with that little tidbit of information...
Who?
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: MaximumZero on November 09, 2011, 02:21:41 pm
The maker of Rebuild and Rebuild 2.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Necro910 on November 09, 2011, 02:23:19 pm
The maker of Rebuild and Rebuild 2.
Ah, yes. We definitely should  :P

"You know how zombies go towards sounds? Well we just killed a bunch of them today using whoopy cushions and spikes. It was hilarious!"
+5 morale
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 09, 2011, 04:34:49 pm
The maker of Rebuild and Rebuild 2.
Ah, yes. We definitely should  :P

"You know how zombies go towards sounds? Well we just killed a bunch of them today using whoopy cushions and spikes. It was hilarious!"
+5 morale

Oh god that was horrific... Nightmare mode... Helms deep....


D:
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Jopax on November 13, 2011, 01:37:30 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


And go!

Mine is an M4 Sherman with a 105 mm HE cannon and a girl friend from my home city, with enough supplies i think we could do pretty fine :D
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Bdthemag on November 13, 2011, 01:49:18 pm
Nail Bat. I am okay with this.

And I don't text people at all, so I guess im alone.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: SalmonGod on November 13, 2011, 01:52:38 pm
An old neighbor who has kids about the same age as mine, so we babysit and do playdates and stuff.

A magical bow that sets things on fire.

The survival partner is rather bubbly with very questionable willpower... but appears fairly tall and well-built.  Don't know how she'd do.

I have about an hour of practice with a bow & arrow in my entire lifetime.  Probably going to be an issue.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: TheBronzePickle on November 13, 2011, 02:05:09 pm
Last person I texted is a big tough friend of mine who lives in a nearby town. Weapon is the AK-74/2 from STALKER using the more common ammo type. I'd have to get used to firing automatic, but I'm pretty sure the gun would be able to mow down zombies just as easily as it did the bloodsucker that just tried to kill me.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: RedKing on November 13, 2011, 02:06:41 pm
My wife, and an elven longsword.

Yeah, we're in trouble. Remind me to try this again after playing as the Pyro in TF2.  Infinite flamethrower FTW.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Flying Dice on November 13, 2011, 02:21:13 pm
My wife, and an elven longsword.

Yeah, we're in trouble. Remind me to try this again after playing as the Pyro in TF2.  Infinite flamethrower FTW.

The zeds all want to give you flaming hugs!

No one, as I don't text, and a fleet of planetary bombardment platforms that fire volleys of dozens of thermonuclear missiles with boosted radioactive fallout. For some reason this doesn't seem like it will end well.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Zaerosz on November 13, 2011, 02:28:32 pm
...I'm really hoping Yu-Gi-Oh cards don't count as weapons in the video games. If they don't, I get to use that mine launcher thing from Ratchet & Clank: Gladiator. At the highest level. If they do I'm forced to hope they're zombies who can play card games.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 13, 2011, 02:29:23 pm
...I'm really hoping Yu-Gi-Oh cards don't count as weapons in the video games. If they don't, I get to use that mine launcher thing from Ratchet & Clank: Gladiator. At the highest level. If they do I'm forced to hope they're zombies who can play card games.

Zombies on motorcycles.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Zaerosz on November 13, 2011, 02:36:50 pm
...I'm really hoping Yu-Gi-Oh cards don't count as weapons in the video games. If they don't, I get to use that mine launcher thing from Ratchet & Clank: Gladiator. At the highest level. If they do I'm forced to hope they're zombies who can play card games.

Zombies on motorcycles.
ZOMBIES ON MOTORCYCAAAAALS
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: RedWarrior0 on November 13, 2011, 02:46:43 pm
Let's see... A friend of mine who's also 17 and also probably not in that good shape, or my girlfriend. Don't know which.

An M1 Garand (Caravaneer). Or, if D&D on the Internet counts, either Cure Light Wounds if it counts as a weapon, or a quarterstaff. Although I never actually used the quarterstaff.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Flying Dice on November 13, 2011, 02:58:52 pm
...I'm really hoping Yu-Gi-Oh cards don't count as weapons in the video games. If they don't, I get to use that mine launcher thing from Ratchet & Clank: Gladiator. At the highest level. If they do I'm forced to hope they're zombies who can play card games.

Zombies on motorcycles.
ZOMBIES ON MOTORCYCAAAAALS

For AMERICA!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: scriver on November 13, 2011, 03:20:11 pm
Lightning magic, or a steel mace, and my brother.

...I guess he can play guitar, at least.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Dave1004 on November 13, 2011, 03:36:22 pm
I live in Canada, in the far north, on a farm. The closest civilization is a town ~90 miles south. My father runs a cattle farm, and we have fields upon fields of wheat/alfalfa/lentils. An underground river as well, plus an old-fashioned "Water-wheel" (I know, I forgot the name..) Oh, and don't forget the back-up pump well (Power outages are fairly common here.)

We could survive pretty well. I have my own crossbow (Which is a bitch to use, I mean, it's almost impossible to load it! Thing's hardcore), and a few simple rifles. Bucketloads on munitions although, and lots of stored food. We've always stockpiled things like candles, food, toilet paper, batteries, flashlights, etc etc. We have a strong wood stove and a literal forest surrounding us, plus a surprisingly large amount of game.

I would find myself a shark suit, grab a hunting crossbow, and stay home. I estimate that we could survive about two years on initial resources, and up to half a decade with farming and ranching.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Kadzar on November 13, 2011, 03:38:29 pm
Let's see... A friend of mine who's also 17 and also probably not in that good shape, or my girlfriend. Don't know which.

An M1 Garand (Caravaneer). Or, if D&D on the Internet counts, either Cure Light Wounds if it counts as a weapon, or a quarterstaff. Although I never actually used the quarterstaff.
So long as they're D&D zombies, you should be good. Otherwise, you might just end up making them stronger.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: ChairmanPoo on November 13, 2011, 03:42:48 pm
Lightning magic, or a steel mace, and my brother.

...I guess he can play guitar, at least.

My wife, and an elven longsword.

Yeah, we're in trouble. Remind me to try this again after playing as the Pyro in TF2.  Infinite flamethrower FTW.

I didn't know we could choose those kind of things!

In this case, I'll take Pope Ratzinger and a few dozens of turn undead scrolls.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Starver on November 13, 2011, 03:51:40 pm
Last person texted?  According to my phone's log, it was a colleague of mine at work, 11/4/2011 (that's seven months ago, not nine days ago, BTW), but I'm fairly sure I texted my Dad sometime last month...  The guy at work has brains although isn't fighting fit[1], but I'd take him over quite a lot of people as a companion at The End OF Days.  Dad's not in his prime (either), but I can't see a problem, on the whole.

Last (game) weapon used.  First-person-wise, stone pickaxe most recent, but if that doesn't count there's the iron sword.  If the pickaxe counts, a bare fist might actually be the most recent.  Last weapon to be caused to be used, in a third-party sense, was either a crossbow or a spear (can't remember which unit dealt with that pesky herd of zombie elk).  Or, if unarmed combat is allowed to take precedence, I had a Sim of mine play Punch You Punch Me with the Social Bunny, yesterday.

So, it looks like I'm with bright but not (all-round) physical companions, and may well have to resort to that knife that was mentioned, unless I want to play it hard-core.

Oh, wait...  Perhaps I'm entitled to use a power-fist (or something else actually ranged, if not orbital, from that particular genre), if not limiting to computer games.  It might even be a warhound... Can't remember which weapon I fired last from that, but most of them would normally deal with RL zombie menaces, and if I'm allowed to stomp around as well I'm laughing.  Me and whoever it is I've got along for the ride.



[1] So... maybe a useful decoy? ;)
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Zaerosz on November 13, 2011, 03:52:43 pm
Lightning magic, or a steel mace, and my brother.

...I guess he can play guitar, at least.

My wife, and an elven longsword.

Yeah, we're in trouble. Remind me to try this again after playing as the Pyro in TF2.  Infinite flamethrower FTW.

I didn't know we could choose those kind of things!

In this case, I'll take Pope Ratzinger and a few dozens of turn undead scrolls.
We aren't choosing anything. It's the last weapon we used in a video game and the last person we texted.

Aaaaaaaand I just realized the last weapon I used in a game was a man-sized sword forged for the superhuman general of the army of a god of holiness and light. It'd probably be pretty useful if I could lift the dame thing.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 13, 2011, 03:54:31 pm
The last weapon we used in a game?

Well, dwarves in dwarf fortress:P

UNLIMITED DWARVES YOU SAY??!!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Itnetlolor on November 13, 2011, 04:12:31 pm
Unreal series Redeemer anyone? MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Zombies stand no chance against a pilotable mini-nuke with ridiculous range and high maneuverabilty. Especially an entire horde of them glassing the areas they walk with extreme precision (or extreme prejudice if I fire off a ton of them at the same time).


So glad I got back into Unreal Tournament again.

As for last person, that would have to be one of my siblings. We have talked about Zombie Apocalypses before, and how to handle them. I will rule over the land, and I shall call it... "This Land".

EDIT:
Hilariously relevant -- The Nyandeemer (http://youtu.be/Fs-qfcfnsBw)
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: MaximumZero on November 13, 2011, 04:15:39 pm
That's it, I'm punching my way to Dave1004's house. At least I can help with ground support.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: DJ on November 13, 2011, 04:22:21 pm
Frontier Justice or Mini Sentry if it counts as me using it (wasn't wrangled), and I deleted my text history before I read this :(
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: MaximumZero on November 13, 2011, 04:23:15 pm
Quick, text me!
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Neyvn on November 13, 2011, 04:31:37 pm
Demoman's Granade Launcher...
My Girlfriend...

Yep I am safe...
But truth be told...


I think I would go all "Orks Must Die" trap style with the methodology of Dwarf Fortress Trapped Halls...
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Bdthemag on November 13, 2011, 04:34:05 pm
Why do you all want to wear shark suits, I mean its just so out of place and impractical.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Jopax on November 13, 2011, 04:43:46 pm
They obviously want to wear the skin of a great predator to gain it's awesome powers.

That said I would much rather choose a bearskin or a raptorskin for obvious reasons.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Flying Dice on November 13, 2011, 04:46:45 pm
Why do you all want to wear shark suits, I mean its just so out of place and impractical.

They all read the Zombie Survival Guide and believed it. What they don't know is that the author is in fact a zombie spreading counterintelligence. As it turns out, you actually kill zombies by destroying the liver.
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Neyvn on November 13, 2011, 04:50:55 pm
Why do you all want to wear shark suits, I mean its just so out of place and impractical.

They all read the Zombie Survival Guide and believed it. What they don't know is that the author is in fact a zombie spreading counterintelligence. As it turns out, you actually kill zombies by destroying the liver.
That explains what pubs are... Suicide Rooms for the Unsure Zombie...

"Are you a Zombie!?!? Don't Know!?!?! Come to the 'Pub on the Corner', and Drink your worries away. If it turns out your a Zombie, congratulations, you already half way to dieing!!!"
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: ChairmanPoo on November 13, 2011, 05:16:21 pm
Lightning magic, or a steel mace, and my brother.

...I guess he can play guitar, at least.

My wife, and an elven longsword.

Yeah, we're in trouble. Remind me to try this again after playing as the Pyro in TF2.  Infinite flamethrower FTW.

I didn't know we could choose those kind of things!

In this case, I'll take Pope Ratzinger and a few dozens of turn undead scrolls.
We aren't choosing anything. It's the last weapon we used in a video game and the last person we texted.

Aaaaaaaand I just realized the last weapon I used in a game was a man-sized sword forged for the superhuman general of the army of a god of holiness and light. It'd probably be pretty useful if I could lift the dame thing.

Oh.

I can't even recall the last person I texted.  I dont really use text messages very ,uch
Title: Re: Zombie Survival (and QWOP!)
Post by: Urist Mcinternetuser on November 13, 2011, 07:02:40 pm
The last weapon I used in a game was a flintlock musket. And being that I don't have a phone I'm pretty sure I've never texte-
WAIT! Yes I have, my cousin told me to text his girlfriend (as him), and try to freak her out. So overall I'm pretty screwed/