Bay 12 Games Forum

*Need Army List for Mission 3*
Zeppelin Carry a max of twenty, but Areal Units don't count to the limit.
The 'Current Evil Overlord Army' is updated.

Downkeep

Psysquid

"So, Psysquid," you say, and then stop. He's apparently busy building a model ship inside a bottle, using his tentacles and quietly concentrating.
"Yes, your evil overlordness?"
"What are you doing?"
"A hobby of mine, your evilness," Psysquid replies. "It's very relaxing, I must admit."
You frown. "Is it?"
"Well, no, putting the boat inside the glass bottle isn't. But it's very well worth it afterwards."
You scratch the side of your face, not understanding.

Then you watch Psysquid nod to himself, and place the delicate looking ship on the nearby counter, in the kitchen.

And afterwards, he quietly tiptoes out of the room. You follow him, and watch as he hides behind the corner, in wait with his breath drawn.

Chemista comes slinking behind the corner, and as she moves, she passes by the thing without toppling it. Psysquid quietly twitches a tentacle in that moment, and the thing falls down with a crash.
And then Psysquid appears. "What happened? You! Look what you did!"
Chemista raises an eyebrow. "What I did? You insufferable squid, I did not make it fall!"
"No? Is there anyone else around here who did that?! I spent hours building it up!"
"Frankly, your horrendous and disgusting hobby that makes you look like a perverted bastard should-"

You bring a hand to your face.
And quietly sigh.
Really. Out of all the Dark Advisers...

Gamington

"Give me give me give me a dance after Christmas, won't somebody help me dance the shadows away!" Gamington's dancing, quite thoroughly, on the Dance-Dance Mat Over-Nine Thousand.
"Nanananaaaa nanananaaaa," Coghuahua sings along with the mic.
There is...too much movement of hips for your brain to properly process it all.
The last remaining human girl -wearing a cog-like outfit- is excitedly clapping her hands at the show.

"Ahem," you cough, to catch their attention. The cog-outfitted human girl proceeds to rush into hiding behind Coghuahua.
"Yes, your lordness?" Gamington says, standing at attention.
"Everything's all right?"
"Sure thing!" he says, with thumb-up included. "We're eagerly awaiting the chance to destroy the Heroes Association!"
"Very well then," you say, "Continue doing...whatever it is that you were doing."

Cerulean

"Cerulean?"
"Yes, dad?" Cerulean replies primly, while holding in her arms a sleeping spider-kid, who apparently enjoys sleeping with all eight legs curled up around its chest. The 'children' section is quite filled with marks of the various children' passage, like silk from the corners, bite marks, claw marks, broken dolls with their interiors ripped out, books slashed, and a large aquarium where the fish-types are swimming around, sometimes headbutting each other.
There are a lot of broken toys, strewn around the room.
Quite the metaphor for lost childhood.
"What is magic?" you ask her, and she blinks.
"Wave the wand and say something cool?" she replies. "I...I don't think there's anything else to it."
"Really?" you frown.
"Well, but I was a magical girl, and I had my stick of power. I had a color, and...that was pretty much it? Now, if I had a stronger magical staff I could throw powerful magics, I'm sure of it."
"Yes, but how does it work?" you ask, and Cerulean shrugs.
"Dunno dad, it just does. How do you build the Cogs?"
"I just do," I shrugged. "Oh, I see."
"Yep," Cerulean nods. "Magic's pretty much the same thing, dad."

The Upkeep

There is a vice like grip around your neck, choking you, but when you open your eyes, it's gone.
It's like somebody tried to suffocate you, but apparently stopped the moment you opened your eyes. You manage to move to the side of your bed, and from there quietly get dressed in your Evil Overlord uniform.
The morning air is salty, and of course tastes like seawater.
As you step into the kitchen for breakfast, the usual chaos is absent, replaced by a demure and sober atmosphere.

You don't really understand what's going on, but take a seat at the table.
"It's soon going to be a full year," Chemista says, noticing your confusion. "It was August the Twenty-Fifth, and soon, it will be again."
You blink.
Uh, how fast does time fly.
"Well, your evil overlordness," Gamington remarks. "As per orders, I had four wuffle-cogs made, and then fused them with the four assault cogs."

Resources lost: Four Wuffle Cogs, Four Assault Cogs.
Acquired: Four Air Assault Cogs

"And...ahem," Psysquid coughs, to attract your attention. "There's...this to consider."

He pushes up to you the three available missions.

1) Acquire the Mindium Crystal from the Museum. You may do this mission this turn, or the following one. Afterwards, it will be too late for both Cheery and Incognito. Mixed. Heroic Hero Present! Side-Kick present! Special Forces Present! Police Present!
2) Cut the Supply Line. The evacuation was halted, meaning the Heroes Association will not receive reinforcements, but this doesn't mean they'll be defenseless...unless we cut off their food supplies, and make them starve to death. Destruction. High Chance of a Hero! High Chance of a Side-Kick! Special Forces present. Police Present.
3) Assimilate the lost city. Hero city is now filled with refugees, lost, scared and traumatized people, and is being overrun by mutants. They'll die if they are not saved. Control. Available only Today. No Heroes present. No Side-Kicks. Low Chance of Special Forces. Police Present. Monsters Present.

You swallow thickly.
"We can only choose two," Psysquid remarks. "We could wait for the Crystal...but I have the feeling they'll move it if we wait too long. And it might even get harder than it is now to recapture it, your evilness. It's...a tough call."
"The City's practically a done deal," Chemista remarks. "The monsters will easily overrun them, murder them, and then we can take over the monsters."
"And how many innocents are going to die if that's the case?" Gamington asks. "Please your evilness...think of the children."
"What his evilness needs now is the Mindium Crystal," Chemista hisses back. "And we must cut the supply lines. There's no need to think about the humans. They chose their side the day they decided mutants had to be purged. So now, why not have the Humans purged for once?"
"They could bolster the army," Psysquid remarks. "If saved. But...your evilness," he looks at you. "I'd rather you kept yourself sane and safe, rather than risk for strangers' lives."

You sigh.
Choices...choices...

"What elven lineage are you from, miss?" you ask, your voice calm even in the face of her previous words.
"I-I come from a very noble one," she replies with a startled expression. "We're t-thrice removed cousins from her majesty, yes indeed!" she exclaims, proud of it. You raise an eyebrow. "A-And I went just last month to a party of the most nobles of the elf court!"
"Don't the elves have a democracy?" you ask kindly.
Miss Shuu turns a startling bright red color.
"O-Of course! B-But we also have a monarch! In exile! But that's not something anyone knows. It's a very important elf secret!"
"Of course, of course," you reply calmly, with a knowing nod. Did her parents let her fall too many times on the ground or what?

There is an awkward moment of silence, that lasts until you ask her another question -startling her once more.
"Where did you learn your current skills, Miss?"
"I-I was taught by the greatest private masters there were available!" she says, "And-And my older sister's an accomplished Elemental Wizard, so she showed me her tricks, and taught me with her books, and my grandmother's a powerful necromancer, and she too taught me, because I was her favorite, and-"
"And why would you rather learn under me than under them?" you ask casually, an eyebrow raised.
"B-Because I also want to be an adventurer! Yes, a very exciting adventure is what I want! And-And well, they didn't have always time to help me, because they're so strong and powerful, they're always asked to do stuff for the elf government! B-But you wouldn't have heard of them, because they do secret missions for them! Very secret ones, b-but they benefit everyone, yes, they do!""

You calmly massage your forehead.
Your master taught you the benefit of patience -especially because you needed a lot to deal with him- but this is really starting to get quite heavy.
"Miss Shuu," you say calmly. "I think we can start our first lesson—"
And she quickly scrambles to take out a bloc notes and a quill feather.
You blink as she hastily uncaps the ink-pot, throwing ink everywhere on her clothes -but not caring, since they're black- and proceeding to grab the parchment and the quill to scribble down what you're about to say.
You speak slowly.
"The first thing to remember is that a wizard has only a modicum of shame, for the laws of physics and society mean little to them, though they must still value respect. An adventurer needs no shame, as they perform deeds that make all other eccentricities acceptable with time. And a necromancer cannot afford shame, for then they cannot even begin to learn the wonderful art. As such, shamelessness is an art worth mastering for any Awn-in-training, and one of the most valuable attributes one can have in life."

Shuu frowns. "What does Awn mean?"
"It's an Acronym," you reply. "Adventurous, Wizard, Necromancer, called 'Awn' for short. And you'd be a AAWN. An Apprentice Adventurous Wizard Necromancer..." the thought makes you stop for a moment.
Uh. 'Yawn' would be better, wouldn't it? 'Young Adventurous Wizard Necromancer'. A Yawn. AYAWN. Apprentice Young Adventurous Wizard Necromancer.

She quickly nods and scribbles it down.
"W-Will it be in a test?" she asks next, quite fearfully.
You sigh.
It's going to be a long trip home...

Other questions you wish to ask her?

On the carriage

"So," you say as you raise an eyebrow in her direction, once the carriage starts on its voyage towards your house. "Miss Shuu?"
"Y-Yes," your Apprentice stammers out, before steeling her face and looking back at you with a prepared and firm gaze.
"Are you trying to imitate Necrobella or Trixmortis with that fashion style?" you ask her, calmly, gazing at her attire.
Her cheeks blush lightly and she shakes her head. "N-No, I just thought," she starts, and then clamps up, before snarling. "It's my business how I dress up, isn't it?"
She winces after the outburst, and shakes her head. "Sorry," she says.
You hum quietly, a knowing smile on your lips.
There are plenty of female necromancers -it's a job that doesn't really bother to care if you're male or female after all. You just need to have good shoulders to dig up corpses, or a good head to buy someone's else silence and the ability to dig up corpses.
Or be rich and bored enough to have a cemetery and a Necromancy For Dummies book.
Of course, only few truly excel.
Many don't go further than making a limb twitch.

"So, Miss Shuu, how old are you?"
Shuu grips the hem of her gown tightly for a moment, and then snaps. "You don't ask a lady her age!" she says hotly, before mollifying a bit and muttering, "b-but I'm a-at my twen-twenty-eth spring."
Uh, you would have given her fifteen years, give or take.
"Uhm," you raise an eyebrow. "Aren't you a bit old to be an Apprentice? I thought all Apprentices started at fifteen."
She looks sideways. "E-Elves count years differently from humans!" she exclaims next.
"Oh?"
"E-Each four years, we add one!"
"And why is that?" you ask, curious.
"B-because reasons! Elf reasons!"
"So you'd be sixteen years old, by human standards," you reply. Strange, because you never heard of elves having the 'add one year each four' thing.
Actually, you don't even think she's telling the truth to begin with.

"Just kill me now," she meekly whimpers, her hands covering her face as her shoulders tremble lightly.
"What do you know of magic already?" you ask next, trying to change the argument.
Shuu's shoulders stop trembling, and she takes a deep breath.
"I...I know how to conjure the basic elements and how to make single limbs of a body twitch, and I can...I can speak with the spirits of nature, b-but I also know how to throw fireballs!" she says the last part with a bit of emphasis. "And I'm immune to poisons, and I learn things quickly, and I've got a great head on my shoulders, and I'm pretty and-"
You raise both eyebrows, and she turns crimson in the midst of her babbling, before again, returning with her hands to cover her face and her shoulders trembling.

"Uhm," you say calmly.

Well...it would be fun to tease her until she starts contemplating suicide -jokingly of course.
Or maybe there are more questions you'd like to ask on what she answered?

So to recap what you want to do in downkeep:

Fluff including Bob.... err, Psysquid, please.  Other characters welcome, but I'd like to reconnect with my alter.
Fill the train with a wagon of money.  Sacrifice it.  Lets get something rather darker and farther down the track than our old lost Steel Piggybank. Contrasts with -Many dead bodies (we should have plenty) a vacuum cleaner and a scythe: the soul reaper/sucker. A dark robe should help. contrasts with Magic crystals, sand and a pillow: dream mage.
-Magic crystals, sand and a pillow: dream mage.
Edited to add:  Make more whufflecogs. Contrasts with Build more shiny steel assault cogs.
1) Write down the names of all our soldiers who are sentient enough to have one, so that we know what to put on the memorial of victory when we finally win this war.
3) Sacrifice something, but I am not sure what right now
4) Remember what the Heroes did to Cheerie and all those kids and stop doubting our actions. Individually, they can be very good people, but that doesn't excuse them from all the atrocities they've committed as a whole.
5) Ponder on the possibility of supplying the un-evacuated city. This will do much in winning us the loyalty of the populace.
6) Take the special forces operative on a tour around our lair. Show him Cheerie and the kids and make sure he gets to talk to them. Record the entire tour with the Camerathing, of course.
8 ) Speaking of which, think about which monsterification procedure will fit us best, because this is getting really hypocritical really fast.

*notice the numbers lacking from the list are those that contrast with a suggestion.

The 'Contrasts' should be resolved, before I can post on.

So, once Google gets the taxis, how far until it also gets the drones from Amazon and becomes 'Googon'? And then, down the line, acquires the capacity for churning out robotic handlers?
And from there...there shall be no Skynet.
There shall be Skygon.

Miss 'Shuu'. What the hell kind of name is Miss 'Shuu'.

Finally, after what seems like a long time -but is admittedly just half an hour of boring wait- the train arrives and whistles sharply, announcing it has finally stopped. You wait for the crowd to disperse, the beloved ones meeting each other, the families going on trips to the countryside, and finally, after nearly everyone has left, you watch a few who could be your Apprentice.

"Are you Master Toombs?" a sharp voice asks, one that brokers no argument, if it weren't that it comes from a fidgeting fifteen years old, with long pointed ears and wearing a frilly black dress that makes her resemble a...did she use too much make-up? Is she dressing for the part of the 'Necromancer' apprentice? Her scared green eyes look up to you, her hair apparently dyed a dark black -the roots are blond- and she's biting her lower lip.

"I am," you nod, as composed as you can be.
"I expected someone different," she says bluntly, with the same finesse a sledgehammer in a porcelain shop has.
You raise an eyebrow. "Oh?"
Miss Shuu nods firmly, once, and then grips a large burlap sack -as tall as her, actually- which contains her stuff.
Well, you didn't expect an elf of all things.
Still, could have been worse.
It could have been a Troll.
Or a Devil.
Or a Demon.
Or an Angel.
That would have been funny. 'Angel Apprentice and Adventurous Necromancer Wizard Master'.

Miss Shuu remains quietly in front of you, and you calmly gesture towards the exit of the station. Your carriage driver -a pile of bones that once was your actually living carriage driver, before he passed away of heart attack at the age of ninety-four- gingerly takes in its skeletal hands the burlap sack with ease, and places it in the back of the carriage.
Miss Shuu looks a bit scandalized at it, but quickly composes herself as you both step inside the carriage.

As the carriage departs, leaving for the countryside house, Miss Shuu appears hesitant enough, and you could swear you heard her mutter 'stupid' under her breath, probably directed at herself.
Still...
the time it takes for the carriage to reach home would be the perfect opportunity to 'break the ice'.

But what argument to start with?