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Topics - The Master

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1


Well, it's finally time. Our long and arduous journey across the continent has come to a close and we are at the site henceforth known as Treasurebridged. I must stay positive. King Ngom Spidercusp(who's actually a lady, but calls herself king for reasons nobody understands) knows what she's doing. Perhaps I should start from the beginning so I can explain how we got into this mess.

The Goblins started by ransacking and taking over a settlement ironically named Ransackstakes. They enslaved everyone and nobody from there was ever seen again. For decades after, they seemed to leave us alone. Then, in the year 83...


After that, they just kept coming.




We haven't been attacked on such a scale since. However, something else started happening. Our kings started getting eaten by raptors(besides King Avuz; he was killed by cave turtle). Yearly. For a decade.

Spoiler: the various deaths (click to show/hide)

The kingdom fell into a depression after that. We didn't have another king for over a century. We were broken. Then "King" Ngom came.

She inspired us by telling us about riches in the Darklands. She said that we would lead us there, conquer it, and turn all of it into a new capital for us.

That's where I come in.

My name is Ashtar Nokgolgeshud. I'm leading the first expedition into the Darklands. I am accompanied by a miner, a mason, a clerk, a blacksmith, a guard, and a doctor. This is our story.


Available Dwarves:

Miner
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Mason
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Clerk
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Blacksmith
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Old OP (click to show/hide)

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I have returned to this land of madness and destruction. I have been gone far too long. It is time that I take back my rightful place as the greatest dwarf this land has ever seen!

In all seriousness, hey guys. It's been a while! How's everyone been? Anything of note go on since my long hiatus?

3
To start things off, I'll link here what I posted in a previous thread.


A little bonus for everyone by the resident 9/11 theorist!

EDIT: A bigger bonus for anyone that's got a good 5-10 minutes to kill!

Part 1
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Part 2
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So as you can see right off the bat, there are some very mentally disturbed people in the world. I think I'll use this thread to post whatever catches my eye in the future. I'm also interested in seeing what you guys can find, so feel free to post whatever you think is funny enough!

Edit 1:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

4
General Discussion / Them doomsday fellas are at it again!
« on: July 03, 2015, 06:17:46 pm »

Out of curiosity spurred by this guy on youtube who showcases the horrors of the deep web, I decided that I was going to briefly browse one of the sites. I find a site that's basically an information dump forum where crazy people say all the things that their psychiatrist tells them to seek further help for. The first board that catches my eye is one labeled "The Conspiracy". The first post on it that catches my eye is called "Sept 23rd 2015 Dark days coming". I read it and I burst out laughing. It's a bunch of madness, but I took a screenshot of the part that matters.

So! Brace yourself folks! It's definetely the end of the world THIS TIME!

5
DF Community Games & Stories / The Sociopath's Hunting Lodge
« on: July 11, 2014, 08:34:42 pm »
Here's an idea: call it "The Sociopath's Hunting Lodge" (Or just "The Lodge" for short).  Every adventurer that retires there needs to drop their trophies off at the door then reclaim the "Lodge" to add a new trophy room to the premises and setting their contributions up "just so" before retiring the Lodge and passing the save on to the next person.
So we're all familiar with that big thread about the museum that adventures bring prized artefacts back to it, right? Well, I've got a worsebetter idea! Let's have place for all those brutal killings you've made! The more gore and bits the better! Basically, adventurers would go on adventures to become the most sadistic people in history and then bring back their kills to the lodge! Anyone up for this CARNAGE?!

6
“We have been travelling for days now. Can’t we stop? The goblins will still be looting the fortress instead of following a handful of dwarves.”

The good doctor was always apt to make a complaint, most likely due to the fact that the most physically-demanding activity was holding a knife and cutting on the wounded.

“Pipe down, Doc. You may have heard only stories of goblins and their slimy green-skinned folk. But they are not just old wives tales to scare children. They are true; Those monsters enjoy nothing more than torturing and bleeding a dwarf slowly, then making babbles out of the bones for cheap laughs and bragging rights. We here of the core know this first hand. I’ve seen several a brave recruit be savaged by those bastards, and came upon families that had the misfortune to be found by ambushers. Aye, they are a sick breed, a blight on this world.”

At this the corporal spat to further show his distaste for the green-skins.

“Never underestimate the thirst for blood that those bastards have.”

With those final words of the corporal, the doc looked down at his feet and trudged on with the rest of us. That will probably earn us a few more hours of respite from the doc’s discomfort.

After the sun began to set I signalled for the troop to stop, if seven and a few dogs can count as a troop. Everyone was used to making a small travel camp save for the doc, of course, as he fumbled with his gear. Looking about I can see the sadness on my soldiers’ faces. Being an only child with no family of my own and my parents dying when I was just a baby, I cannot imagine the losses they suffered.

They lost lovers, children, friends, aunts, uncles, parents, and grandparents. All I remember was General Nil, the old grizzled bear of a dwarf that raised me like his own, looking me in the eyes and saying, “Son, there comes a time where fighting is just not enough, and retreat becomes an option. And you know I’m a strong believer the retreating is for the green-skins. But it seems they may have very well got us this time, I need you and the Corporal to take a few men and Doctor Kilrud out as far as you can. Why the doc? We both know not to ask questions, son, Now go! I and the 9th legion will take as many of these green bastards to Hell with us as we can.”

Those were the only words he spoke to me that day, hell, in months. But that scarred face and eyes gave away warmth and pride, yet sadness, too, when he gave me my final orders.

“Sir, uh.. I.. We have a problem.”

Turning around to the lieutenant holding a scribe board, nervousness was plain on his face.

“What is it, Lieutenant?”

He merely handed me the board. Taking it, I was worried about what was written on it as well, as I was illiterate. The lieutenant had written down a list of supplies as well as sketched drawings of each item; he’d also included a tally chart for the count, and many of the counts were dangerously low. If we went on like this, we’d starve in less than three days.
Dropping the board so it hung by my hip, I turned to my weary travel group. “Alright, listen up everyone. We’ve travelled nearly as far as we can on the little food that we started with. And there is no doubt that the green-skins will soon be hot on our trails. When they started, we don’t know. Could have been right after we left, or it could be a week from now. Either way they are coming for us, and our supplies are low. We can’t go on much longer, or we will just walk ourselves to death. I am for dying on my feet, but not from starvation, thirst, or exhaustion. I want to die weapon-in-hand, doing the thing I love most. Killing green-skins.”

A few smiles managed to creep onto some of the group’s faces, the rest too tired or depressed to manage a reply other than listen.

“Now since the case is walk and die, or root and gather what supplies we can from the area and fight, I choose fight! Who is with me!” This rallied some ‘Hoorahs!’ and in one case ‘Aw, yeah!’ Even the ones too tired managed to show a war face.

“Sir, where should we set up base?”

Giving some more thought into our goal, I surveyed the area some more. We managed to wander into a swamp; not the best of places. Seeing it would be difficult to dig into the embracing earth, I turned, sighing, and pointed to the best location.

“Over there seems better than nothing. Let the axe squad know they’ll be cutting timber. I want some walls up while we figure out how deep we can dig. Tell them that this place shall be called Willedabyss.”

With a salute, the soldier ran off to the rest to spread the word. Here is where we begin our life in Willedabyss, Udngalak.


Overseer list:
Green = finished
Orange = in progress?
Yellow = in progress
Red = skipped
Purple = notified


1. The Master
2. danmanthedog
3. Deus Asmoth
4. CaptainMcClellan
5. wasara
6. Hugo_The_Dwarf

To be Dorfed:
Deus Asmoth - Book keeper named Asmoth
CaptainMcClellan - Male jeweler or craftsdwarf. Preferably jeweler. Named Ringo.
jrrocks05 - male doctor named Apollo. wears all dark clothing including lab coat and hood. wants to learn how to use an crossbow.
wasara - Any adult, name him wasara

7
General Discussion / What would you do for a klondike bar?
« on: July 16, 2013, 07:49:01 pm »
To start things off: I'd steal it from the factory!

8
I've been with her for about a year and a quarter, and she's getting worse. She refuses to go on medication despite my pleas, and I don't know how to help her when she's having one of her manic episodes. Any ideas friends?

9
Welcome to the second succession fortress to be created your lord and master, The Master! You may now shower me with gifts.
This is a Masterwork fortress if you didn't read the first word in the title, so things are going to be a lot different from standard vanilla. For example, living trip mines are a thing now. I wonder what their meat tastes like? Someone tell me! I bet it tastes like chicken!

Overseer list:
Green = finished
Orange = in progress?
Yellow = in progress
Red = skipped
Black = not started yet
Purple = notified


1. CognitiveDissonance 1
2. Spish 1
3. CaptainArchmage
4. Necrisha
5. gchristopher 1 2 3 4
6. The Master 1 2
7. InsanityIncarnate
8. Zombi
9. Jakob
10. Peregarrett
11. Chimpanzee
12. Impedocles
13. Chaosgear
14. Velard
15. Lolfail0009
16. NCommander

To be Dorfed
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Here's the initial embark for you all! http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=7547

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Original post
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Link finds himself lying in the middle of a town. For some reason, he knows that he's no longer in Hyrule, but instead in Termina, an alternative-reality version of Hyrule. A man walks by him, grins like a pedophile, and yells "WELCOME TO CLOCK TOWN!!" at the top of his lungs. The man procedes to walk away, slit a man's throat, and then run off. Link slowly gets off the ground, feeling sore all over the place.

11
General Discussion / OUR worst CHANCE TO STOP SOPA ONCE AND FOR ALL!
« on: January 01, 2012, 06:35:49 pm »
This video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJIuYgIvKsc&list=UUKB1iG1T9YDpcDI7LhrnJ3w&index=1&feature=plcp is our best chance at stopping SOPA because it explains that all the people who CREATED SOPA are the ones that CAUSED the vast majority of the piracy! AOL, CNET, Download.com, all those guys, THEY ALL CAUSED THE PIRACY! We MUST show this video to all the law makers OF THE WORLD, WHEREVER YOU ARE, NOW! If we don't, then the internet, as we know it, will be doomed.

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Creative Projects / The sad sad tale of a man named Dan Mcneelee
« on: November 19, 2011, 07:25:23 pm »
Dan Mcneelee was born on February 12th, 2128 in an underground hospital. His mother died in childbirth, and his father was a drunk. All the same, his father did his best to keep him out of trouble. They lived in a middle-class apartment in what used to be a place apparently called Moscow. Rahn Vance, Dan's best friend, lived next door to him. They would do everything together...execept dying.

When Dan was 13, Rahn and Dan were doing their usual weekend routine, which of course meant hurling a boomerang at pigeons. It was Rahn's turn to throw the boomerang, so he did, but of course he missed. It fell into the street and Rahn ran to get it back. Rahn never did see that crimson black truck barreling down the street. It hit him and it fatally wounded him. The force of the impact knocked him all the way to Dan's feet. Rahn looked up at Dan with those emerald green eyes, smiled, and passed away.

We fast-forward five years, and now Dan is eighteen years old. Dan's dad died from intoxication a day after Dan had turned 17. Luckily, he now has a wonderful girl-friend named Esther Quirk. Ah Esther, how they would hold each other, and the way they danced...how sad things that all good things  must have an end. Esther was talking Dan's ear off as usual, when suddenly, all the lights in the city went dark. Terrified, as this had never happened before, Esther got up from the bench she and Dan were sitting on and wondered around aimlessly. When the lights came back on about a minute later, Esther was sleeping on the ground in a pool of ketchup. That's what Dan continued to tell himself as she was buried in her grave.

Dan was devastated. He had already lost his best friend in a freak car accident, now his girl friend was gone as well! He decided to investigate who or what killed her. Dan searched the area around where Esther died, and found a torn piece of cloth. It had the signature logo of the Global Union on it. Dan snapped on that day, and he vowed that he would not rest until he killed every last member of the GU.

Dan didn't anticipate that there were others out there who also hated the GU. After hearing about these people he decided that he'd join up with them. He rose through the ranks, until he became general on his 26th birthday. Dan is tired of putting up with the Global Union treating humans like dolls. This is his story, and it has only just begun.

13
Forum Games and Roleplaying / MOVED: Kira game
« on: November 01, 2011, 07:58:15 pm »
This topic has been moved to Mafia.
For relevance.
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=95709.0

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Mafia / KIRA GAME: BAY12 EDITION
« on: November 01, 2011, 06:58:36 pm »
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DF Gameplay Questions / the entire game is slow!
« on: August 10, 2011, 09:09:00 pm »
I don't know what happened! I just started up the game and the main menu lags, the cursor skips over things, and it's impossible to play in general! I've tried downloading another copy and it still had identical issues! HELP?!  :'(

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