>TAKE ALL THE SUPPLEMENTS
(3) Glass takes all the supplements in his house... which turns out to be a few vitamin boosters and half a cup of coffee. He feels ENERGETIC afterwards, but not SWOLE.
>EXERCISE AT HOME BY CALISTHENICS
(6) As he logs on to calisthenics.fitzone.fit one day, Shadowclaw discovers that a popular poster has been banned. The moderation log is vague—something about a "forbidden routine". Sounds like something out of a movie, almost. So Shadowclaw digs a little deeper, finds the guy's email address, and sends him a message...
...Then goes to bed, because it's like 1 AM and he's probably not gonna get a response tonight.
Attend the ☺ Gym.
(5) ☺'s uniquely positive approach to coaching turns out to be a MAGIC MUSCLE FORMULA. Devastator gains +1 HAPPYSWOLE and a generally optimistic outlook on the world.
>EXERCISE AT HOME BY DEADLIFTING.
(5) NRDL has heard that "deadlifting" is something strong people do, so he's eager to try it out. Unfortunately, his computer got wrecked in an ill-fated lifting exercise, and his phone is in a similar state. So he can't actually look it up.
...Maybe it's just lifting until you feel like you're dead? No pain, no gain, right? So he spends all night lifting weights, furniture, and at one point his fridge, even as his muscles scream in agony. At the end of it, he has +2 PAIN POWER and a strong desire to look up what deadlifting actually is so he can switch over to that.
> EXERCISE AT HOME BY PUNCHING HOLES IN MY WALLS
(4) Rune punches a bunch of holes in the wall. It's painful, it's not a very good form of exercise, and his landlord is probably gonna be pissed. He "gains" +0 OUCH FISTS.
> OTHER: EAT ALL THE FUKKEN SPINACH IN MY FRIDGE.
AND ALL THE BEANS AND CHICKPEAS. THEN JOG TO THE STORE AND ACQUIRE MORE.
(3) Yoink eats all the spinach in his house, which is one can. He then eats all the beans in his house, which is one can, and all the chickpeas, which is no cans. How is he supposed to bulk up like this?! He jogs to the corner store in a huff, but it's closed for renovations. Fuck. He can see the canned veggies through the window, calling out from the shelf like a shoal of sirens. Taunting him. Tempting him...
> ATTEND _MOOSKLE_ GYM!
(6) After drinking a few strange potions ("They're performance enhancers," they said) and doing some oddly specific exercises, CABL is TRANSFORMED into A LITERAL MOOSE. He'd better hope that THE COMPETITION accepts sentient animals; if it doesn't, his +2 MOOSLE is just going to go to waste.
>ATTEND _BEAR___ GYM
(5) After drinking a few strange potions and doing some oddly specific exercises, Irony is—wait, what? We already did this one? OK, fine. Irony just gets some hair on his chest and some muscle on his arms, represented more briefly as +1 BEAR BULK.
> EXERCISE AT HOME BY PUNCHING A CAR TO DEATH!
(4) It's impossible to kill something that isn't alive, but that doesn't stop Zultan from trying. At the end of it, he has two (2) bleeding knuckles, four (4) busted car doors, and plus one (+1) CARWRECKER ARM.
> ATTEND ANGRY KANGAROO GYM
(6) After drinking a few strange—fuck! After, uh, attending a virtual gym hosted by a weird guy in Australia, Ziizo learns how to get crazy leg muscles by jumping in place over and over again forever. It works, and he gains the +2 KANGAROO to prove it.
>OTHER: WRESTLE !!BEARS!!
(5) Wrestling a bear isn't enough, King decides. It's practically cliche. So he takes things a step further, packing gasoline and a lighter on his trip to the woods. Then, when he comes across a sleeping bear, he uses them exactly as you'd expect; the details are pretty gnarly, so I'm just gonna say he gains +2 INFERNO BEAR TECHNIQUE and leave it at that.
> TAKE PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS/SUPPLEMENTS
(5) Sheyra goes down to the local shady jacket man and asks for performance-enhancing drugs.
"What kind?"
"All of them."
He buys all of them, takes all of them, and feels all of them. He doesn't even suffer any side effects, unless you count +2 ENHANCED MUSCLE as a side effect... or peer into the future a little.
CABL: +2 ACTUAL ANIMAL (+2 MOOSLE)
Glass: +0 NORMIE (NONE)
King: +2 ABSOLUTE MONSTER (+2 INFERNO BEAR TECHNIQUE)
IronyOwl: +1 FIGURATIVE ANIMAL (+1 BEAR BULK)
Shadowclaw: +0 INVESTIGATOR (NONE)
Devastator: +1 OPTIMIST (+1 HAPPYSWOLE)
NRDL: +2 DEAD LIFTER (+2 PAIN POWER)
Rune: +0 FOOL (+0 OUCH FISTS)
Sheyra: +2 ILL-FATED MUSCLELORD (+2 ENHANCED MUSCLE)
Yoink: +0 SAILOR OF THE SPINACH SEA (NONE)
Ziizo: +2 JUMPMAN (+2 KANGAROO)
Zultan: +1 LUDDITE (+1 CARWRECKER ARM)
Alright, WICKED WEDNESDAY is over and done with. It's THRILLING THURSDAY now; what are your plans?
> TRY OUT ___ MIRACLE DIET
> SEEK OUT ___ TRAINER
> LEARN HOW TO ___
> OTHER: ___