Name: ATHATH
Description: Just some random dude.
Why do you want milk? I just do, okay?
Spontaneously create a glass of milk in a safe location within 5 feet of me.
Obtain the created milk.
Name: Mal Tinkke(Clever)
Description:CowGeneric-looking baker.
Why do you want milk?: For cookies, of course!
Run back into the puddle of milk I just ran out of.
If unsuccessful, squeeze the milk out of my boots into a glass.Thinking quickly, you grab your boots and attempt to squeeze out the leftover milk.
Name: Unknown
Description: Indistinct shadowy figure
Motivation: Milk is amusing to me
Possess the refrigerator and flood the room with milk
Spoiler: HE IS THE GREATEST (click to show/hide)
ATTEMPT TO TRANSMUTE THE AIR IN THE ROOM INTO MILK
Name: Ziizo
Description: Normal guy? houndoom in a trench-coat? who knows?
Why do you want milk?: What else I am going to have for breakfast? Coffee? Does somebody actually likes that?
Jump out of the window, there no time for doors you must go to the nearby store NOW.
Yell triumphantly at my successful conjuration of milk. Loudly. Like, loud enough to kill. (http://science.howstuffworks.com/can-sound-wave-kill.htm)pls no
Yell triumphantly at my successful conjuration of milk. Loudly. Like, loud enough to kill. (http://science.howstuffworks.com/can-sound-wave-kill.htm)pls no
Name: Roboute Guilliman
Description: Honestly just look him http://
Why do you want milk? To help me heal. I just woke up from stasis.
Spawn outside. To big to fit inside.
Stop the Chaos Legion guy from going anywhere. By force if necessary.
Well technically this is just an apparition of him, it is solid, but most of his Mary Sue powers are spent on staying corporeal. His real body didn't travel here.Name: Roboute Guilliman
Description: Honestly just look him http://
Why do you want milk? To help me heal. I just woke up from stasis.
Spawn outside. To big to fit inside.
Stop the Chaos Legion guy from going anywhere. By force if necessary.
Your Mary Sue powers are useless without Matt Ward as GM...
Note: I'm not actually Warhammer 40K fan, I only played DoW: Dark Crusade.
If you put me on the waitlist, then PM me when I shall post.
Fixed it, except I don't know how to make the hyperlink a word. I wanted to tie the link to the word up.If you put me on the waitlist, then PM me when I shall post.
There won't be a waitlist, you'll be able to play. Also, Johiah, your image link is broken.
Yell triumphantly at my successful conjuration of milk. Loudly. Like, loud enough to kill. (http://science.howstuffworks.com/can-sound-wave-kill.htm)
ENTER HOUSE, OBSERVE SITUATION
HEAD TO MY ROOM AND LOCK THE DOOR
CHECK ON SECRET STASH OF POWDERED MILK UNDER BED
(I haven't played any 40k games, but I'll do my best.)Spoiler: Forces of Chaos... Bow to me. (click to show/hide)
Go to the streets and find the nearest Chaos cult.
Demand them to work for me, if it doesn't work, slice them all with my power sword.
If successful, give them orders to open Warp Portal.
Summon 10 Chaos Space Marines from the Portal.
Attack and loot the store.
Try to posses the sink, and make it spew milk.
Name: Roboute Guilliman
Description:Honestly just look him up. (http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Roboute_Guilliman)
Why do you want milk? To help me heal. I just woke up from stasis.
Spawn outside. Too big to fit inside.
Stop the Chaos Legion guy from going anywhere. By force if necessary.
Obtain one of the tiny splatters of milk that are in the room. Win the game.
Cook a bovine biscuit and feed it to a random other person other than the Shadow, turning them into a cow!
Parkour my way to the nearby store. And remember no time for opening doors just charge trough it.
"You should try harder, lapdog." Said Eliphas while touching his gash.
Draw the power of Khornate Daemons, granting me +2 to any melee attack for 3 turns.
Do a combo of 4 powerful horizontal sword swings and finish with stab in the chest
Can I respawn as someone else when Eliphas dies? I've got plenty of characters: porn star, Doomguy, Randomly Generated General from Rome: Total War, etc.
And yes, my character speech in this RTD will be in pink.
"You should try harder, lapdog." Said Eliphas while touching his gash.
Draw the power of Khornate Daemons, granting me +2 to any melee attack for 3 turns.
Do a combo of 4 powerful horizontal sword swings and finish with stab in the chest
Can I respawn as someone else when Eliphas dies? I've got plenty of characters: porn star, Doomguy, Randomly Generated General from Rome: Total War, etc.
And yes, my character speech in this RTD will be in pink.
You can be pretty much whatever you want, Doomguy sounds fun. I'm going to keep control of when people get bonuses, however.
...Retry possessing the sink
No, I have a better idea.
Possess the Chaos Marine's sword, turn it intomilka popsiclea fudgesicle.
Retry! With my cooking skills, I should be able to cook just as well!
Pull a hand into your trench coat and retrieve a book you almost forgot you had to return it today.
Then run towards the store.
Put face in milk. Win game.
"You should try harder, lapdog." Said Eliphas while touching his gash.6
Draw the power of Khornate Daemons, granting me +2 to any melee attack for 3 turns.
Do a combo of 4 powerful horizontal sword swings and finish with stab in the chest
Summon the Emperor's divine form to assist me.2
If that fails, pray to the Emperor to grant me a +3 to defense rolls for the next 2 turns.
Name: Zibnob-loobroq-blingulon XXXI(Poor guy.)
Description: A gray alien who has been abducting cows for many years as milk is the finest delicacy of all to his species
Why do you want milk: As noted, milk is the finest of all delicacies for his species, but he is forced to deliver any cows he abducts to his home planet mars(or as they call it, "Planetoid Zeta-Alpha-Gamma-Theta-Omega-Delta-Beta-Omicron") before he can extract the milk!
Warp down to planet in brilliant disguise(otherwise known as an oversized trenchcoat, a fedora, and a very large fake moustache), and search for a store from which to procure milk
after all, if he were to abduct milk onto his flying saucer, his homeworld would know, and would take it from him.
CRY FOR A BIT
THEN COMPOSE MYSELF AND BEGIN FASHIONING BEDSHEETS INTO ROPE
IF SUCCESSFUL, SECURE ROPE TO HEAVY FURNITURE IN PREPARATION TO CLIMB FROM WINDOW TO STREET
pull a Fedora from your trenchcoat and put it in your head so you can use it to give a small salute to the totally normal human that entered the store behind you.((Path to milk: complete.))
Buy chocolate milk and cookies.
Wait for transformation to wear off, and try again.
Put mouth under milk. Win game.
CURSE YOINK, ALL HIS TEARS SHALL BE MILK AND THEY SHALL NEVER END
PREPARE TO HARVEST MILK TEARS
Name: I want milk
Description: he wants milk
Why I want milk: I don't want milk
Fuck with someone
pull a Fedora from your trenchcoat and put it in your head so you can use it to give a small salute to the totally normal human that entered the store behind you.
Buy chocolate milk and cookies.
TIE END OF BEDSHEET-ROPE TO HEAVY PIECE OF FURNITURE
(PROBABLY BED?)
THROW OTHER END FROM WINDOW
THEN DRY EYES AND PREPARE SELF FOR ACTION
BEGIN DARING CLIMB DOWN TO THE STREET OUTSIDE
Name: Ozzy
Description: A businessman holding a briefcase and wearing a formal suit.
Why I want milk: Coffee is barely tolerable without milk.
Head to a store. Buy some milk.
ABORT, ABORT
FLOOD THE SWORD WITH MILK
ABORT CHAOS
FLOOD THE WHOLE DAMNED FIGHT WITH MILK
GIVE GULLIMAN HEALING MILK
ABORT!
Ok then, I see how it is.
Call for Ultramarines in terminator suits to assist me.
Brothers! Now is the time to fight!
Eliphas notices that the sword is imbued with Shadow. It's most likely possessed by some spirit.
Try to contain the spirit in the sword for another turn.
Grab his sword, since it is still in me. BY THE HILT. Wrestle it from him.
Try to disarm (not literally) him and if successful, strike enough blows to slice the knee off. If not, stab him in the abdomen.
"NO! GET BACK HERE, I NEED THOSE TEAR DUCTS!"
GLIDE OUT OF THE WINDOW AFTER YOINK, COMMANDING THE AIR TO SLOW MY DESCENT
SIT DOWN TO REGAIN MY STRENGTH
INVESTIGATE PAINFUL EYE-FAUCET PROBLEMS
IF HOUSEMATE MALLOS DIVES OUT OF WINDOW AFTER ME, ATTEMPT TO PREVENT THEM FROM INJURING THEMSELVES
consume contents of wallet via mouth-hole
exit house in search of a bottle of not-milk
"Hm. Odd. Seems I don't have my wallet with me. Wonder where I left it..."
Leave milk at store. Find and take wallet. Go back to store.
Zibnob tips his own fedora in response.
Then he begins the hunt for milk
In that case search for strawberry milk and donuts
For the Emprah!
RaArGh!2vs4+1
Nononononononononono!1
Abort harder! I do not want to be here!
"Obey the power of Chaos, filthy monstrosity!"4
Try to control and corrupt milk monster with the power of Chaos. If successful, pour corrupted milk on these Ultramarine Terminators, making them servants of Chaos, and give them a command to fight Gulliman. Also, If all my previous actions in the sentence are successful, do a powerful vertical sword slam which will ejaculate the spirit from the sword as a shadow fireball.
If not, try to get out from the monster and call for reinforcement of 12 Chaos Space Marines and 1 Rhino Transport with Heavy Bolter.
Summon a grey knight and a member of the inquisition to help me purge the taint.5
Slice off a leg of the milk monster. (Daemon?)3vs5+2
Brothers! Now is the time. A fallen Battle Brother resides in that beast! Eliaphas the Inheritor! Assist me in slaying him!
Milk ATHATH! The chance only comes once in a lifetime!
So...I would like to propose the basics of a scoring system for this game. We are scored, not just on the amount of milk we obtain, but the quality of it, too. Cheeses, yogurts, and the like can also score, and things like cookies and crackers that go well with milk may add a small modifier to an amount of certain foods. Cookies with milk, crackers and meats with cheeses, and toppings with yogurt.
Let OceanSoul "milk" me. I'm a bull. Remember that joke in the opening scene of the new Power Rangers movie?
Kick down the door of the neighboring apartment while in my cow disguise. Raid their fridge for some milk. Win game.
OOC: What is the name of the town/city? I presume it's a typical American town, so I think we should call it Genericville. I also have Typianapolis, Banaltown, New Normal...
Also, in which state is Genericville? I'm not strong in US geography, but I always can look the map up.
I HAVE MILK! Store a good amount of the milk in the fridge, use a little bit in a special Bovine Biscuit for ATHATH that will let him change to and from cow form at will, and use the rest in a special pie whose aroma attracts cows. I'll milk this opportunity for all it's worth!... Oh. Thank you.
"WHAT INDEED... WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU DIVING OUT WINDOWS? RUNNING OUT OF MILD ISN'T THAT BAD..."No, but running out of milk is.
"WHAT INDEED... WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU DIVING OUT WINDOWS? RUNNING OUT OF MILD ISN'T THAT BAD..."
STARE AT CHEERING BYSTANDER
CONSOLE HOUSEMATE MALLOS
MEANWHILE, REMEMBER WHERE NEAREST MILK-SELLING STORE IS
"WHAT."3
Confused by how strangely his exodus of the house went, the GREAT GOATSBY stands on his own twohoovesfeet and attempts to magically replace Yoink's tear ducts.
"WHAT INDEED... WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU DIVING OUT WINDOWS? RUNNING OUT OF MILD ISN'T THAT BAD..."1
STARE AT CHEERING BYSTANDER
CONSOLE HOUSEMATE MALLOS
MEANWHILE, REMEMBER WHERE NEAREST MILK-SELLING STORE IS
take water bottle
is water bottle metal?
wander in search of not-milk even further, acquire as much not-milk as I can
Go back to store. Buy milk.
After both building up confidence in his disguise and resisting the urge to just take the humans milk, Zibnob asks the human a question.
"Hello there fellow human, I am also human, if I may inquire, from what location within this establishment did you acquire that milk?"
go to the clerk and put a hand inside your trenchcoat to retrieve your gun...shaped wallet.
Pay for the milk and donuts.
McDonalds has those little plastic milk containers that they put in kid's meals, don't they? Pick up some of those (the milk containers, not the happy meals) and return to the apartment. Win game.
I HAVE MILK! Store a good amount of the milk in the fridge, use a little bit in a special Bovine Biscuit for ATHATH that will let him change to and from cow form at will, and use the rest in a special pie whose aroma attracts cows. I'll milk this opportunity for all it's worth!
Abort! Escape! Do whatever it is that the dice will accept to remove myself from this chaos!No roll, since you're just leaving and Eliphas isn't binding you anymore.
Milk Monster roars furiously while Eliphas inside tries to control the monster with all his possible strength.Controlling the monster:1, Summoning the troops:2
Try to stun Gulliman by striking him in the face with a power sword's hilt. if successful, grab him and smash him into the ground so hard, that he'll penetrate the sewer system and will end up in bedrock. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedrock) In any case, powerfully strike the ground, releasing a strong shadowflame wave, which will burn or ignite every lapdog of the False Emperor... at the cost of losing my bonus and killing the spirit inside of it (since he'll be released as a shadowflame wave).
In any case (fail or success), pray to Khorne so he can open warp portal and send 1 Khorne Chosen Champion and 7 Khornate Berzerkers, then try to control the milk monster even harder.
Open fire!4+3 for numbers vs 1
Snnrgl...4
Also, why I didn't attack Guillman? It's because johiah didn't post? Feels unfair, but let's move on.
Eliphas got surprised, he didn't think he could be so easily defeated. Still, it looks like he has another plan.Oi! That's MY milk!
Go to McDonald's, ignoring fire from the police and Imperials. My power armour should be able to handle their puny, primitive guns.
Collect every plastic milk container there. If someone will try to stop me, use my bare hands.
Open the warp portal and enter it.
Also, why I didn't attack Guillman? It's because johiah didn't post? Feels unfair, but let's move on.
Eliphas got surprised, he didn't think he could be so easily defeated. Still, it looks like he has another plan.Oi! That's MY milk!
Go to McDonald's, ignoring fire from the police and Imperials. My power armour should be able to handle their puny, primitive guns.
Collect every plastic milk container there. If someone will try to stop me, use my bare hands.
Open the warp portal and enter it.
Also, why I didn't attack Guillman? It's because johiah didn't post? Feels unfair, but let's move on.
If this guy gets to the McDonalds before I do, kick him in the nuts, steal his milk, and run away (back to the apartment).
Are you really so foolish that you try to stop Chaos Undivided?This is M&M. Are you really so foolish to believe that he won't roll a 6?
Are you really so foolish that you try to stop Chaos Undivided?This is M&M. Are you really so foolish to believe that he won't roll a 6?
Are you really so foolish that you try to stop Chaos Undivided?This is M&M. Are you really so foolish to believe that he won't roll a 6?
I still can respawn as someone else if Eliphas kicks the bucket. I have a SHITTON OF CHARACTER CONCEPTS!
I've got plenty of characters: porn star, Doomguy, Randomly Generated General from Rome: Total War, etc.As you've mentioned.
If this guy gets to the McDonalds before I do, kick him in the nuts, steal his milk, and run away (back to the apartment).
If this fool tries to stop me, try to counter kick him in the crotch.
Follow the grey knight in pursuit of Eliaphas. Attempt to counter whatever he does.
Spoiler: Makes Milk Go Bad (click to show/hide)
ignore gun, open wallet and drop money.
Capture Spider-biscuit, feed to Athath, cook a large, hollow Eskimo Cake that actually refrigerates the stuff within it, store the milk within it, and milk the approaching cows.
...
Possess the polices' guns, turn them into milk squirt-guns with infinite supplies of milk.
summon giant knight to assist in search for honor, glory, and not-milk
proceed to nearest appliance store, inquire about any not-milk that may be for sale
GET MAP OF ZOO FROM INFORMATION KIOSK
USE MAP IN CONJUNCTION WITH RUDIMENTARY ANIMAL KNOWLEDGE TO WORK OUT WHICH SPECIES ARE CAPABLE OF PRODUCING MILK AND CIRCLE THEM ON MAP
THEN LOOK AROUND AN EATING AREA FOR A LARGE, DISCARDED DRINK CONTAINER TO ADD TO MY INVENTORY
"NO! EXPERIMENTS CAN NOT RUN AWAY FROM THE GREAT GOATSBY!"
USE MY MAGICSNOUTNOSE TO SNIFF OUT WHERE YOINK WENT. FOLLOW HIS FOOTSTEPS TO HIS CURRENT LOCATION.
Aww man, I was off camping and missed a turn.4,2
Grey knight! Use your psychic abilities to assist me in hunting down that traitor Eliaphas.
The rest of you, follow him!
(To the police)
Do nothing to those in pursuit of justice, but aid would be appreciated against Eliaphas the tratior.
Eliphas got surprised, he didn't think he could be so easily defeated. Still, it looks like he has another plan.
Go to McDonald's, ignoring fire from the police and Imperials. My power armour should be able to handle their puny, primitive guns.
Collect every plastic milk container there. If someone will try to stop me, use my bare hands.
Open the warp portal and enter it.
Also, why I didn't attack Guillman? It's because johiah didn't post? Feels unfair, but let's move on.
Pew pew!
If this guy gets to the McDonalds before I do, kick him in the nuts, steal his milk, and run away (back to the apartment).
Are you really so foolish that you try to stop Chaos Undivided? Come on, don't cry when you break your foot after striking my armour...
If this fool tries to stop me, try to counter kick him in the crotch.
Follow the grey knight in pursuit of Eliaphas. Attempt to counter whatever he does.
Spawn at the Mcdonalds.
Order a Strawberry milk shake.
It's probably a very stupid question but did Eliphas saved some milk containers?
Well that was unexpected.What, you're not even going to acknowledge my valiant sacrifice?
Grey knight, where did that portal lead?
The rest of you fan out in search of milk. Find some way to pay for it, but keep your armor and weapons.
Listen to the gray knight, then find a store that sells milk.
Milk the cows again! If successful, go to the store next to McDonald's to buy some chocolate syrup, and strawberry syrup, too, if they have it.Float back to the apartment. Secretly (away from the prying eyes and ears of other cows) ask this guy to kill a (female) cow or two. If I can't speak to mortals, use my biscuit's ability to return to my mortal form, tell him, then return to ghost form. If I just return to mortal cow form instead of ghost cow form, call off the cow murder. Instead, have my new body get milked again, and drink the resulting milk.
"STOP THAT ALREADY, DAMNIT DUDE!"
STRENUOUSLY PREVENT HOUSEMATE MALLOS FROM PERFORMING ANY MORE MAGICAL EXPERIMENTS ON ME
PERHAPS SHOVE HIM INTO NEARBY ANIMAL ENCLOSURE
THEN BOOK IT THROUGH THE ZOO TO JOIN SOME SORT OF TOUR, TRYING TO PICK UP SOME SORT OF DRINK CONTAINER ON THE WAY
ATHATH is now a shapeshifting ghost cow.Sigged.
ATHATH is now a shapeshifting ghost cow.Sigged.
Eliphas wakes up and sees that he floats in Warp. Milk containers float around him.(That's a lot of actions, we'll see how far you get.)
Collect the containers.
Contact Word Bearers somehow and tell them that I have the milk.
Give the milk to Primarch Lorgar himself.
Persuade him to give me a small strike force as a reward. (2 Chaos Sorcerers and a Rhino Transport with 10 Chaos Space Marines inside of it. Rhino also has Heavy Bolter installed on top of it.)
Open warp portal which leads to the most western school in Genericville.
Enter the Rhino and order to ride through the portal.It's probably a very stupid question but did Eliphas saved some milk containers?
EDIT: Updated.
Parkour to store roof.
Eat breakfast.
Contain to the employee that I ordered a Strawberry Milk Shake. Not some stupid soda.
Name: Milk
Description: I am milk.
Why I want milk: I need milk to exist.
Jump into the nearest cookie
Go to McDonalds, possess all of their hamburgers and turn them into cows.
Milk the cows again! If successful, go to the store next to McDonald's to buy some chocolate syrup, and strawberry syrup, too, if they have it.
Milk the cows again! If successful, go to the store next to McDonald's to buy some chocolate syrup, and strawberry syrup, too, if they have it.Float back to the apartment. Secretly (away from the prying eyes and ears of other cows) ask this guy to kill a (female) cow or two. If I can't speak to mortals, use my biscuit's ability to return to my mortal form, tell him, then return to ghost form. If I just return to mortal cow form instead of ghost cow form, call off the cow murder. Instead, have my new body get milked again, and drink the resulting milk.
If OceanSoul kills some cows, drink spectral milk directly from their ghosts. Win game.
Go back home. Add milk to coffee. Drink coffee. Win game.
dub my faithful knight I Too Have A Desire To Acquire Milk, or Ithadtam to preserve brevity2,4
attempt to break into appliance store and steal a great deal of cinder blocks and construction materials
If successful, begin the construction of a grand citadel
Let me aid you, sir!4
Well that was unexpected.1
Grey knight, where did that portal lead?
The rest of you fan out in search of milk. Find some way to pay for it, but keep your armor and weapons.
Listen to the gray knight, then find a store that sells milk.
Use psychic powers3
Go shopping5
"HELLO, EXPERIMENT 1! THE GREAT GOATSBY WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST A HEART-TO-HEART. AND BY REQUEST I MEAN DEMAND. AND BY A HEART-TO-HEART I MEAN I WANT TO CLONE YOUR HEART."
Attempt to create a clone of Yoink's heart in the palm of my left hand, the only difference being that it pumps out indefinite supply of milk instead of blood.
"STOP THAT ALREADY, DAMNIT DUDE!"
STRENUOUSLY PREVENT HOUSEMATE MALLOS FROM PERFORMING ANY MORE MAGICAL EXPERIMENTS ON ME
PERHAPS SHOVE HIM INTO NEARBY ANIMAL ENCLOSURE
THEN BOOK IT THROUGH THE ZOO TO JOIN SOME SORT OF TOUR, TRYING TO PICK UP SOME SORT OF DRINK CONTAINER ON THE WAY
Feeed...1
TURN 8
"Ah. Hot."That was fast. Not criticizing or anything, I'm just impressed.
Wait for coffee to cool. Drink coffee.
"Ah. Hot."
Wait for coffee to cool. Drink coffee.
order Ithadtam commence creation of fortress while I attempt to summon a handful of lesser goons4
Right away sir!3
Respond on the vox, thanking the inquisitor. Inquire as to his location, and head there.
Grey knight, may I inquire as to your name?
go back to the library is time to borrow a new book
Order an Angry Cattle Burger with a Strawberry Milkshake. Maybe Now they'll get my order right.
Name: Harbinger
Description: The image of his (possesed) body (http://i.imgur.com/h7lEIt5.jpg)
Why do you want milk? You rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh are incapable of comprehending our reason for seeking the substance you labeled as 'milk'.
Assuming direct control.
Harbinger, possessing the body of a collector guardian, generates his biotic barrier in order to protect himself from harmful objects, picks up his rifle and finally heads outside.
Since I'm possessing the hamburgers/angry cows...
As the equivalent to a hive mind for the cows, I collectively conquer this McDonalds in the name of the Kingdom of Moovaria. Our first decree: give us your milk, or be milked for your blood.
"No, Primarch Lorgar will not accept milk from anyone else expect me. It's a special assignment which he gave ONLY to me."
Bluff the Sorcerer in order to get teleported back to Word Bearers' base.
If successful: hand the milk to Lorgar and request elite strike force, consisting of 2 Obliterators, 16 Chaos Space Marines with heavy weaponry and Chaos Land Raider for transporting both Obliterators and CSM.
If failed: Store the milk in my ass (aka: Hammerspace (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hammerspace)), pull out new power sword from the ass and prepare to defend myself.
Now that I have milk, proceed to form self into the legendary milkbeast by devouring everything.
Name: Shaun O'Brian
Description: Tall, with a blue jumper and trousers. Wears a paddy hat. Has a beard.
Why do you want milk: Shaun has devised a formula which should enable time travel. He, however, needs a constant supply of milk to keep it running, so he needs cows to power it.
Shaun leaves his Oirish teach, and goes off to find some cows to find some milk.
"YES! I HAVE OBTAINED THE MILK HEART! FOR THE SECOND PHASE..."
Magically imbue the milk that comes from the heart with mutagenic properties.
STARE UNCERTAINLY ATMALLOSGOATSBY FOR A MOMENT UNTIL SURE THAT THAT IS NOT MY HEART, AND THAT I AM NOT DYING HORRIBLY FROM HAVING IT REMOVED
ONCE THAT'S CLEARED UP, HURRY IN OPPOSITE DIRECTION WITH MY CUP AND SEE IF I CAN CASUALLY JOIN UP WITH SOME TOUR GROUP IN ZOO
If I'm lost, then I'll just find my way there!
BTW, in which (Our calendar) year the RTD takes place?
It's obviously 42k17, and the timeline looped.BTW, in which (Our calendar) year the RTD takes place?
It's the present, 2017. The 40k and other future characters are probably from an alternate universe.
Well that's weird and doesn't make any sense. I guess it's canon now. Until it isn't.It's obviously 42k17, and the timeline looped.BTW, in which (Our calendar) year the RTD takes place?
It's the present, 2017. The 40k and other future characters are probably from an alternate universe.
Does it make any less sense than anything else in this game? At least it gives a potential reason for why the WH40k guys are here: just because the timeline looped doesn't mean that all the guys from before disappeared.Well that's weird and doesn't make any sense. I guess it's canon now. Until it isn't.It's obviously 42k17, and the timeline looped.BTW, in which (Our calendar) year the RTD takes place?
It's the present, 2017. The 40k and other future characters are probably from an alternate universe.
What if someone like Julius Caeser or Attila the Hun appear in the game?Time loops and damage because reality is still trying to figure out why it looped. Anyway, if it's looping, it doesn't have to loop perfectly.
RAISE HAND, WAIT FOR GUIDE TO ACKNOWLEDGEWell... I mean, yes, they're mammals, so they do make milk, but would you really want to drink it? You know how goat cheese tastes relative to normal cheese; we've bred cattle to make milk that we like. We haven't done that with other animals.
"EXCUSE ME MISS, DO GIRAFFES PRODUCE MILK?"
IF ANSWER IS YES, INVADE GIRAFFE ENCLOSURE WITH CUP AND ATTEMPT TO EXTRACT MILK FROM FEMALE SPECIMEN
The other cattle matter not; they may do as they please, and we shall not inhibit their actions, though neither shall we take responsibility.
No, as stated before... Found our kingdom!
pull a cellphone out your trenchcoat and call a carpenter to fix the door.
You don't know why she is so angry You have been breaking that door in an almost weekly basis for 7 years, one could consider it a tradition know.
order thugs to assist Ithadtam in building the fortress walls
seizure violently
We shall raise a mighty fortress!
Go home, and make chocolate milk and strawberry milk with the normal milk.
Pester OceanSoul with Ghost Pranks (TM) until he kills some cows.
If OceanSoul kills some cows, drink spectral milk directly from their ghosts.
Eliphas the Inheritor looks rather angrily at Chaos Space Marine who denied his request for the audience.
"Listen, worm. You just denied access to me, most likely not even knowing who I am. I am Eliphas the Inheritor, The Purger of Kronus* and one of Dark Apostles of our great legion!
And you dare to deny my audience? I'm on a secret mission which Primarch Lorgar gave me personally, so please, think again and ask yourself: "Do I really want to piss off my superior-in-rank?"
* In Minimalism and Milk universe, he won Dark Crusade for Kronus (aka planet for which 40K factions were battling in DoW: Dark Crusade).
Intimidate the worm who denied audience to me
If successful: Gave milk to Lorgar and request elite force (same composition as in the previous post).
If not: Challenge him to a duel.
BTW, in which (Our calendar) year the RTD takes place?
take the milk shake. It's still milk
Milk the cows, then bring the, to mo teach, and put them in to the cow side of the time machine, stick a spoon in the start thingimujiggy, look cool while pressing things and pulling other things, and blast off.
Automatically fix coffee.
RAISE HAND, WAIT FOR GUIDE TO ACKNOWLEDGE
"EXCUSE ME MISS, DO GIRAFFES PRODUCE MILK?"
IF ANSWER IS YES, INVADE GIRAFFE ENCLOSURE WITH CUP AND ATTEMPT TO EXTRACT MILK FROM FEMALE SPECIMEN
Harbinger, accompanied by his troops, begins looking around for any traces of milk. If he is unsuccessful, then he indoctrinates a nearby human then makes him/her lead the way to the nearest place where milk can be found.
Find a particularly ferocious animal enclosure, like a crocodile or a huge lion. Magically charm the beast into folllowing my every order.
((Where's my action, OP?))
Ah, well. On to greener pastures.
Possess giraffes. All the giraffes. Everywhere.
Mixing a little bit of the cursed milk with some remaining regular milk, a small saucer, as well as a few magical sit-ups, I Binding Saucer of Milk, a plate eternally filled with a little bit of milk. Whoever sips from it shal become a feline being, ranging from housecat to leopard to sphinx, that obeys my every command!
pull my other cellphone the shoe shaped one. And check if you have the carpenter number saved in it.
inquire about absence of Mallos' action
wrap up seizure, and try and summon two lightly armored mounted scouts to scour the area for female mammalian creatures
Can we build it?
Yes we can!
"You will pay for this, traitor..."
Pull a sword out of my ass
If Successful: Slash his left leg horizontally
If Failure: Prepare for Hand-to-Hand Combat: Await for his strike and interrupt his attack by suddenly grabbing and wrestling the sword, then disarm him
Name: The Brian
Description: A horribly misspelled evil genius.
Why do you want milk?: SO I CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!
Search for milk!
Use the emergency return button to bring back the time machine and get in it this time
Apt for work at the McDonald's(I'm assuming you meant ask for work.)
((Still accepting new players?))
Name: Armnotok
Description: An ordinary human... except that he's made of gold, with scriptures of milk upon his body. God of milk awakens after a long time without milk.
Why do you want milk?: Milk for the milk god!
((I'll post my first action then.))
Descend upon this mortal plane, try to sense any milk in the area.
Wait for coffee to cool to warm. Drink.
Go drink some of OceanSoul's milk that isn't cursed or in a saucer. Revert to my corporeal human form if necessary. Win game.
Take some of the milk. Drink some.
Unless it is a big crate, then find a cup first.
Very good men, you may return to your assigned posts. I thank you for your assistance.
MAGICALLY REPLACE THE OSTRICH'S HEART WITH MUTAGENIC MILK HEART. I WILL HAVE A HORRID ABOMINATION AT MY COMMAND!
Victory, right? The coffee had milk in it...There is no victory, except having the most milk, as well as the best milk, when the game ends. The specifics of the scoring system aren't decided yet.
Victory, right? The coffee had milk in it...
Okay, I don't remember what was originally written that became sit-ups, but, nevertheless, I offer a homeless guy sip of the saucer's milk. If I find several, I make sure to approach them one-by-one and make sure they don't see the effects it had on others until he's already sipped it. Maybe I can find a few cats or dogs to give a sip to, too.
Ninja'd;Victory, right? The coffee had milk in it...There is no victory, except having the most milk, as well as the best milk, when the game ends. The specifics of the scoring system aren't decided yet.
LEGSWEEP THE MALE GIRAFFE TO THE GROUND, THEN KNOCK HIM OUT WITH A SICK ELBOW DROP BEFOREWhile all the other giraffes set up our kingdom, all the giraffes in this zoo rush this man and kick the snot out of him.MOTORBOATING HIS LADYFRIENDMILKING THE FEMALE GIRAFFE INTO CUP
repeat previous action
inquire about absence of Mallos' action
wrap up seizure, and try and summon two lightly armored mounted scouts to scour the area for female mammalian creatures
Uh oh.
On the hunt.
XD Sure.
Set up a giraffe kingdom, encompassing all land on which we graze. We shall build vast castles, and all shall bow down to their giraffe overlords!
Okay, I don't remember what was originally written that became sit-ups, but, nevertheless, I offer a homeless guy sip of the saucer's milk. If I find several, I make sure to approach them one-by-one and make sure they don't see the effects it had on others until he's already sipped it. Maybe I can find a few cats or dogs to give a sip to, too.
Go to work, assuming it's a weekday.
I HAVE SEARCHED FOR THE MILK! NOW I WILL FIND THE MILK AND TAKE IT FOR MYSELF! PROBABLY!
Smash down through the roof and use telekinesis to gather all the milk in the settlement.
I've technically "won", right?
Combine my human and ghost-cow forms into the ultimate milk-producing lifeform (that's still sapient and has my mind). Produce ludicrous amounts of milk. Win game harder.
Eliphas walks to Lorgar and bows before him. "Accept the milk from me, for I struggled hard for it. Our legion must grow stronger, Chaos must grow stronger..."
Carefully handle milk to Lorgar. Win the game.
If successful: Request permission from Lorgar to get elite strike force (2 Obliterators and 10 Chaos Space Marines with heavy weaponry + 1 Land Raider for transporting them). The game may be won, but Chaos will always benefit from more milk.
Sure why not? Call the Japanese carpenter.
Pour some into my giant hands, and then drink it.
Leave the automatic emergency return systems inside the time machine on this time, and go to float over the carnage happening in the city.
Also, I already won the game.
Ride dire ostrich to somewhere like a grocery store. I need more bodies for more experiments!
LEGSWEEP THE MALE GIRAFFE TO THE GROUND, THEN KNOCK HIM OUT WITH A SICK ELBOW DROP BEFOREMOTORBOATING HIS LADYFRIENDMILKING THE FEMALE GIRAFFE INTO CUP
While all the other giraffes set up our kingdom, all the giraffes in this zoo rush this man and kick the snot out of him.I'm giving Glass a +2 here. There's a decent number of giraffes on display, and they're big.
Well, the old poll is over, so I'll put up a new one to make sure that the merger is what people want. I won't do it if Imic doesn't want to.When the action comes around, format it like it's a contested roll, and have the numbers be the number of people that voted for each option.
I HAVE OBSERVED THAT CAPITALIZATION IS NOW QUITE POPULAR((DO YOU EVEN MINIMALIST, BRO))
I TOO SHALL ENGAGE IN THIS TOMFOOLERY FORTHWITH
((LET'S JUST FORGET WHOLE MERGER IDEA, LET GMS GET BACK TO RUNNING GAMES))
I roll a 6 sided dice.
Then, I use milk powers to rebuild the time machine, and sell it to soneone here.
But I keep the emergency return button and the remote controls.
Good now go to grab a epic fantasy book.
Conjure a container of any kind, find any source of water and pour it into container. Transorm water into milk!
"Sorry sir. I don't blame you. You shouldn't expect this to happen again, I intend to keep better track of my wallet from now on. What's the current project again?"
Establish ourselves as the global country of Giraffia. All are welcome to join our glorious country.
BEGIN SCREAMING FOR HELP
"OH GODS OH GODS IT FUCKING HURTS SOMEBODY HELP! GET THESE ASSHOLES OFF OF ME OUCH! C'MON LIGHT 'EM UP LIKE YOU DID HARAMBE! AAARGH"
CURL INTO AS SMALL A BALL AS POSSIBLE
DO MY BEST TO COVER HEAD WITH HANDS+ARMS WHILST AWAITING RESCUE FROM ZOOKEEPERS
(Stomp stomp stomp)
"Get him out!"4vs1+2
Scream violently and try to map out fortress so no others get lost in its depths
If successful, being thugs and acquire cows BUT DO NOT MILK THEM
DRINK LE MILK
Amplify my voice so everyone in the town can hear.
The enemy known as chaos undivided are attacking! Unite with me to fight them back!
STUDY THE IMPURE MILK, AND SEE IF I CAN FIND OUT HOW THE HECK THE STORE EMPLOYEES HAVE SMGs, LIKE SRRIOUSLY, WHO GIVES THEIR STORE EMPLOYEES SMGs, THAT'S JUST INVITING A REVOLT FROM THE PEASANTRY.
Hostile active!
If the universe merger is disagreed to, expand my cat servant army.
"Driver! Drive us directly to the city hall! If some puny cops or loyalist scum will try to stop us, don't stop and shoot them while driving. There's no time to lose! Today, the city will be ours!"
Drive to the city hall.
When Land Raider arrives on the location, open a warp portal and summon 2 armoured fists of Chaos! (https://youtu.be/QYRhqf8GYUY?t=26) If there will be cops or someone else, give my strike force a command to destroy them.
If successful (Warp Portal): Order Chaos Predators to guard the Land Raider and then break through the doors of city hall.
If failure (Warp Portal): Break through the doors of city hall.
EDIT: I think I should put driving as an action.
Ask if the next customer would like fries with their veggie-burger. Its obvious that we can't sell hamburgers any more. Right?
Decide that these Chaos guys would actually be a good ally. Tzeentch would be quite a beneficial patron for amagical goattotally human wizard like THE GREAT GOATSBY.
This is a weird game.
You said it like it's a bad thing.This is a weird game.
Yeah.
Hardly. Just stating a fact.You said it like it's a bad thing.This is a weird game.
Yeah.
Prepare a spell that will turn all milk I don't own into cursed become-cat-obedient-to-me milk.Donate self to OceanSoul so that I won't turn into cursed milk. Produce MOAR MILK.
Rob every McDonalds fast food restaurant within 3 miles of at least 4 giraffes.
This is a weird game.
Let the water fall down and transform, get as much milk as I can. Stomp anyone disturbing the milk god!
go outside the library and pull a motorcycle from your longcoat. Someone has to wait for the carpenter in the airport after all.
PRAISE TZEENTCH! PRAISE TZEENTCH!
Say to the man: Yeah yeah whatever. Talk to the cow burger things if you have any complaints. But would you like fries with that?
"OH, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! OH GODS, YOU SAVED MY LIFE! THANK YOU SO MUCH!"
COLLAPSE TO THE GROUND ONCE I AM SAFE, HUGGING THE ANKLES OF NEAREST RESCUER WHILST CRYING WITH RELIEF
Prepare a spell that will turn all milk I don't own into cursed become-cat-obedient-to-me milk.Donate self to OceanSoul so that I won't turn into cursed milk. Produce MOAR MILK.
Eliphas is both angry and shocked at the incompetence of the driver. "What in the name of Dark Gods you just did do?! Drive us to city hall immediately, worm! You don't want me to test my power fist much sooner than we meet our enemies, do you?"
Intimidate the driver, then order him to drive to the city hall.
If the driver fails again: Grab his head with my power fist and crush it like a watermelon, then drive Land Raider to the city hall by myself.
If the driver succeeds: Disembark with my strike force and try to summon 2 Chaos Predators. If there'll be some enemies, then order my strike force to pin them down while I summon the tanks.
If I fail to summon the tanks: Break through the doors of the city hall.
Also, here's Eliphas the Inheritor quotes.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRlYSE6kWAg) Just for some fluff.
Yes sir.
Form a defensive bloackade around city hall and the warp portal. I will attempt to bring in backup.
(Apparently this hotel has internet)
Ask the police to do as above.
Construct a man of iron. His task is to build more of himself, defend the town against chaos, and gather milk in any way possible, without harming civilians. This will be hardcoded in, I don't want a repeat of the great war at the end of the dark age of technology.
(This was typed on an Ipad, so I don't have hyperlinks. Sorry.)
"Hold the line"
"CHAOS UNDIVIDED!"Giving Chaos a +1 for being stronger.
Prepare a spell that will turn all milk I don't own into cursed become-cat-obedient-to-me milk.
Continue fixing it, substituting artron energy for anything else that went wrong.
I roll a 6 sided dice again.
Most [giraffes] are still in cages or far away from cities though.Hmn. Yes. Giraffe jailbreak. Let's do this.
Will the game end if milk is no longer obtainable?
Let me guess: Minimalism without milk? Minimalism, hold the milk? Inimaism -k?Will the game end if milk is no longer obtainable?
Probably not, but I might change the title a bit.
Continue fixing it, substituting artron energy for anything else that went wrong.
I roll a 6 sided dice again.
Am I affected by OceanSoul's spell, or did my previous action prevent that? If so, resist OceanSoul's control spell if it would control me.
Regardless of the answer to the above question, PRODUCE MOAR MILK.
See if I have enough balloons to fly to the airport stored in my coat then.
Cast a spell to put them under my control.
Wow. Thankfully, cows can still produce normal milk. Glad I lured a bunch of them into the apartment earlier!
Will the game end if milk is no longer obtainable?
Cast a spell that would cleanse whole milk around the globe from OceanSoul's spell.
Most [giraffes] are still in cages or far away from cities though.Hmn. Yes. Giraffe jailbreak. Let's do this.
Giraffes also produce milk. It is now a valuabale trading commodity, too.
I could swear I posted an action for last turn. Huh.
Run away with Ithadtam, let grunts be expendable
"For Honor!"
"Get 'im"
Stomp the big one.5vs3
now that the man of iron can build more of himself and help defend, I will assist in holding the line.
Head to police bloackade, draw my bolter, and help lay down supressing fire against chaos undivided.
Eliphas uses his special vox-caster to contact another Chaos squad: "Champion, we are engaging local resistance! It's time to execute my plan! Attack police department to stop reinforcements. Glory to Chaos!". Then he stores his vox-caster in his ass and screams; "Land Raider, use Havoc Missile Launcher to destroy the cover of these worms! Then when their cover is destroyed, everybody shall concentrate fire on the enemies!". Then Eliphas starts raining hell from his Reaper autocannon on the police.
Give out the orders above*
Shoot at the police from my Reaper autocannon.
If Land Raider fails to destroy their cover, still order my soldiers to open fire on them.
* Strikeforce of the Champion consists of 1 Rhino with Heavy Bolter, 5 Havocs with Multi-meltas, and 5 Havocs with Heavy Bolters (+ Champion himself).
EDIT: fixed color.
"GLORY TO TZEENTCH! GLORY TO CHAOS!"
Attack police with horrible mutagenic spells from atop my dire ostrich mount
"Hold the line!"
"Tear them apart!"
"Firing."
"Complying."
Deploy4
"OH JEEZ I'M SORRY! ARE YOU OKAY?"
QUICKLY HELP THEM UP (IF THEY CAN STAND), THEN PROCEED WITH HUG 'N' CRY
Sir. Veggie Burgers Are Real Burgers
PRODUCE MOAR MILK.
Try and discover the secretd of getting +1 on all rolls. And work on the time machine.
FIX THIS MILKY MADNESS. WITH !!SCIENCE!!!
"Take down the target!"
Having tried and failed to recall the information regarding the project, suit man heads to where the project is being worked on and tries to get additional information.
Shoot at those who shoot at me first.2v5,1
Request reinforcements from the Emperor.
TRY THE MUTAGENIC MAGIC AGAIN. GLORY TO TZEENTCH!2vs1
Eliphas sees his old foe: Gulliman! "Predator! Land Raider! Obliterators! Focus on Gulliman! Today it's our chance to avenge the Imperium! Heavy Bolters, suppress Gulliman! Rocket launchers, fire at the police! We must destroy their cover! Goatsby, stop throwing mutagens at the police and use your magic to make Gulliman immobile!", Eliphas pauses for a moment; "I will install our special flag on the top of the building to inspire and activate full-scale invasion! Don't fail me!". After that, Eliphas moves as fast as he can towards the city hall, while raining hell from his Reaper autocannon at the police.4vs2,3
Give out orders above to my troops*, then move as fast as Terminator armour allows towards the building, while also shooting at the police.
Break the doors and murder the police with my power fist.
If the police force is destroyed, install Word Bearer's flag on top of the rooftop.
* And to The Great Goatsby/Mallos too!
"Destroy the Primarch!"6vs2
Fighting continues.5vs3
Holding the line.5vs3
Call cats within several nearby towns/cities to come to me. The others will lie in wait. Here, though, I will bake a Million-pound-cake Titan, or possibly several, to serve me. I also locate the nearest milk-packaging factory.
try to find your car you abandoned it in the airport after spending three hours trying (and failing) to find it last week maybe this time will be different.
Add Homo-burger to the menu. The customers will love it. Those who don't can get made into a Homo-burger
ITHADTAM6vs6
subdue golem with all necessary speed
Try and divert golem away from companion friend-knight
"Kill 'im!"4vs2
"SMASH KNIGHT"6vs6
MOAR MILK.
Get the milk. Or just swim in it.
"Alright then. Assuming we haven't already done this, we can start with a full-on assault on Norton Antivirus just to see how good it it."
KEEP FIXING THE WEIRD CORRUPTED MILK NONSENSE.
"Destroy the intruder!"4vs1
"...HUH. WELL THAT'S COOL."
PATCH SELF UP AS BEST I CAN WITH FIRST AID KIT. I TOOK A FIRST AID COURSE ONCE, THAT SHOULD HELP, RIGHT?
ALSO PRESUMABLY NOTICE BLOOD LEAKING FROM TEARDUCTS.
KEEP AN EYE ON GIRAFFE SITUATION WHILST I'M HERE. IF SOMEONE SEEMS NOT-TOO-BUSY ASK IF I COULD MAYBE GET A NICE CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE TO HELP SOOTHE MY NUMEROUS AND VARIED GIRAFFE-RELATED INJURIES.
*sigh* Ah well.
SolidSnakeGiraffe. Stealth escape. Let's do this.
*sigh* Ah well.Ahem.
SolidSnakeGiraffe. Stealth escape. Let's do this.
*sigh* Ah well.Ahem.
SolidSnakeGiraffe. Stealth escape. Let's do this.
play tetris until the carpenter plane arrives.
Create impenetrable force field around my milk lake, so no one except me can get there.
Oh that was cool, didn't mean to switch characters, that was more of an angry shout
heal up knight-buddy, get the hell outta dodge
Continue work on the titan, and have the cats attempt to seize as many milk factories and cow farms as they can!
KEEP FIXING. THE WEIRD MILK. NONSENSE.
"Rocket out!"
Perfect.
Those giraffes shall go and infiltrate the US government at the highest level, kick out the lizard people, and establish a GGC (giraffe government conspiracy).
Meanwhile, all the other giraffes will continue establishing our empire.
"Wonderful. Now let's get to it."
Make the improvements!
Turn everything into milk. EVERYTHING.
I go back in time to make the required changes.
"NAH I'M ALL GOOD, SEEMS LIKE YOU GUYS HAVE ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH"
SIP AT MY HOT CHOCOLATE, SAVOURING ITS MILK CONTENT AS I WATCH THE SITUATION FOR A WHILE
IF NOTHING EXCITING HAPPENS, HEAD TO A NEARBY MUSIC STORE AND ATTEMPT TO PURCHASE A GUITAR AND/OR BASS GUITAR
Retreat to the men of iron. Request they build bigger guns.
"O, CRAVEN GULLIMAN, STAY FOR A WHILE!"
Release the GOAT WITHIN, assuming my true form as a GOD OF BEASTS. With that done, see about warping Gulliman's legs into tree roots firmly embedded in the paved streets below.
After installing the flag, Eliphas looked at his troops below and congratulated his troops for serving him. Then he pointed his finger at the running enemy and said: "Look at the police and especially our main foe, Gulliman! They both are not interested in fighting for their causes! They only interested in saving themselves and nothing else! Mark my words, my fellow Word Bearers, today we will purge the weak from this world!"
Inspire the troops, then orders all the cultists to concentrate along with me and open a giant Warp Portal.
Summon more troops! Full-scale invasion is on!
After summoning more troops, order Chaos Basilisks to unleash an artillery barrage on the police station and the Men of Iron.
If Goatsby succeeds on stopping Gulliman with a spell, order Land Raider to destroy Gulliman!
Continue taking customers orders.
Ask for a scoring system, or at least a leaderboard!Just wondering: where would I rank on that? I don't have any milk, but I have
Worse than the worst, for spending time obtaining things irrelevant to/other than milkAsk for a scoring system, or at least a leaderboard!Just wondering: where would I rank on that? I don't have any milk, but I havetwoa government and a proto-civilization.
:D Perfect, who cares about rankings?Worse than the worst, for spending time obtaining things irrelevant to/other than milkAsk for a scoring system, or at least a leaderboard!Just wondering: where would I rank on that? I don't have any milk, but I havetwoa government and a proto-civilization.
Continue taking customers orders. Any meal that does would normally be made with cow meat shall be replaced by a homo-burger as is the new policy
I've some questions about continuity of this RTD; if the Earth/Humanity will be completely destroyed, will this RTD continue? Like galaxy-wide milk hunt, for example, or maybe there'll be "Minimalism & Milk 2: Electric Boogaloo: Round 2"? If the answer is "Electric Boogaloo", then does it means that the players should make new characters, or we'll be playing as our old characters?
take the carpenter to the library.
Work.
Grand.
Pass legislation making those who worship Chaos guilty of disruption of the public order.
Elsewhere, establish trade routes with nearby cities/towns and grow our towns, economies, and power.
I now govern the American milk trade. We're raising milk taxes for the rich, in addition to my earlier actions.
Milk cows, chat with Ithadtam about the feasibility of the forcible seizure of both milk and not milk from the guilty and evil
Call in an orbital ion cannon strike on town hall from the GDI, who I am friends with.4
Eliphas takes his vox-caster and contacts Raptor Champion Baltagral. "Champion, your squad must find where the police have taken the mayor. When you'll find him, kidnap him and bring him to me. I don't care how you are going to pacify him,6vs1,3vs3,3+1,1vs5
just bring him to me alive..." Ordered Eliphas to the champion. Eliphas gives two Chaos Marines an order to protect Goatsby and then uses the vox-caster again to contact Dark Mechanicus for a special service...
Give out the orders above, then contact Dark Mechanicus for the special service.*
Try to summon huge warp portal with the help of the cultists, and get more troops. Again.
If the action above is successful, give out orders to Chaos Basilisks to unleash artillery barrage at the police station.
*Hacking the Ion Cannon/facility which controls the cannon, and make it self-destruct.
"Fuck. Cover me, fellow Word Bearers!"2
Attempt to assume the correct form once more.
"Ion cannon firing."4vs2In general.
Using what I learned in the house incident, turn the ENTIRE WORLD into milk! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!1!!!!!ONE!!!
"DAMNIT"
DO THEY AT LEAST HAVE BLACK UKULELES? GRAB ONE OF THOSE, AN AMP AND A MIC
THEN GO BEGIN MY ULTIMATE BLACK METAL SOLO PROJECT, CALLED 'MILKDRINKER' (BOTH TO CELEBRATE MILK AND TO CONVINCE SKYRIM FANS TO BUY MY RECORDS).
PRACTICE ACTIVATING MY BLOOD-LEAKING TEARDUCTS ON COMMAND
Continue taking customers orders. Any meal that does would normally be made with cow meat shall be replaced by a homo-burger as is the new policy
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Diablo's fake backstory "I am Ov'n-cal'f J'zargo, demon god of Orange juice and infernal intern in hells marketing department (all devils that interact with earth are on the marketing department). I came to this world for one purpose, TO TURN ALL MILK INTO ALMOND MILK! Oh, wait, my assistant says that isn't evil enough, well then, I WILL TURN ALL MILK INTO ORANGE JUICE AND RUIN ALL YOUR CEREAL, *evil laugh*"
Angelo's fake backstory "I am a simple angel sent to this plain in the hopes of peacefully ending this conflict and preventing sin."
Every third turn starting with this one flip a coin, if its heads, Angelo is in control for these turns, tails, Diablo is.
Angelo's action. I take my flaming sword from my coat and begin walking towards a hub of cannibalism, the place known as, McDonalds.
Diablo's action. I will seek out the largest amount of nearby milk and turn it into ORANGE JUICE.
"Good grief. Good thing we found those issues."
Let's get those fixed first.
I do what must be done.
Continue work on the titan! Ask for a scoring system, or at least a leaderboard!
Continue work on the titan! Ask for a scoring system, or at least a leaderboard!
You missed my action.Continue work on the titan! Ask for a scoring system, or at least a leaderboard!
well, we have a PCs list in the first post... though my entry needs to be changed to reflect that I am no longer the Shadow, I'm now the Giraffe Overmind.You missed my action.Continue work on the titan! Ask for a scoring system, or at least a leaderboard!
Whoops. I really need to come up with a system for keeping track of all the players. I think I probably shouldn't add any type of scoring.
well, we have a PCs list in the first post... though my entry needs to be changed to reflect that I am no longer the Shadow, I'm now the Giraffe Overmind.You missed my action.Continue work on the titan! Ask for a scoring system, or at least a leaderboard!
Whoops. I really need to come up with a system for keeping track of all the players. I think I probably shouldn't add any type of scoring.
Send it back. That's against the First Amendment. What, did you think I would be an evil government conspiracy? Perish the thought! Return it to its original form.
Re-attempt the trade routes. Bring signs (in both English and any local languages we heard the first time around) explaining our purpose this time.
For the love of the almighty, LET THOSE WHO PERFORM PROPERTY DESTRUCTION WITHOUT REASON PAY WITH THEIR LIVES!!!
I attempt to learn who committed the grievous crime of destruction of property and their reason, and if I deem it unjust, I shall make them pay WITH THEIR LIVES!
Good. pay Oichi and offer to pay her an hotel so she can rest before going home.
BAH! GO BUILD A BETTER WEIRD-MILK FIXER! IN MY LABORATORY THAT IS NOT CONTIGUOUS TO THE HOUSE!
"Find a milk factory, seize it by force, and claim it in our name, the Cream Street Bakery!" These orders, and work on baking monkey-bread self-assembling buildings/forts.
"Right. Well, we could fix that... but here's what we'll do instead."
Well, firstly check to see if there's anything inefficient about the code that can be fixed to make it work faster.
ACQUIRE BLACK T-SHIRTS FROM CHARITY BINS, ALSO BUY WHITE FABRIC MARKER PEN
CRAFT T-SHIRTS WITH 'MILKDRINKER' LOGO TO BESTOW UPON MY FANS (IF LESS FANS THAN T-SHIRTS, BRIBE AMBIVALENT OBSERVERS WITH SHIRTS)
BEGIN AMASSING FANATICAL FANBASE
ATTEMPT TO ARRANGE TO PLAY UPCOMING GIG, PREFERABLY ONE TONIGHT OR TOMORROW
DEMAND A CHALICE OF MILK AS MY RIDER
Create some milk golems from milk I gathered in my lake
Tell the president that I'm from the future, and that the man I just punched had been about to kill Lincoln, and that in the future some madman became president and plans to build a wall between the US ann Mexico.
Also, wonder if what I've done will affect the other people adventuring around for milk.
Speaking of which, offer him a cup of milk.
"THERE HAVE REALLY BEEN BETTER DAYS FOR THE GREAT GOATSBY."5
Shift my form into my healthy, normal body to correct the injuries from the cannon.
Eliphas sees the destroyed city hall and his dead subordinates. He sighs heavily and asks the few survived Chaos Marines for a medical kit. "We have too many enemies and too few allies." Thought Eliphas while reaching for his vox-caster...1,2,5
If someone has the medical kit and if Goatsby fails his roll, give out an order to heal Goatsby.
Contact NOD Brotherhood and try to make an alliance with them.
If Goatsby is successfully healed, concentrate with Goatsby and open an even bigger portal.
Summon more troops (again).
locate wicked and delet them1vs5
Charge back to the ruins of town hall. Slice the hand Lorgar is using the hold the vox off.5vs6
Men of iron, please assist me in finishing this.
(dice sounds)6vs6
Turn space into milk, thus burying the Earth in an apocolyptically-sized mass of milk.
"Blast. Well, let's see if anything got in in the meantime." As in, check to see if anything went wrong as a result of the lack of security. Also make sure the rest of the computers are secure.
((I'm loving this. Everybody else is like "REALITY WARP!" while I'm like... "Just doing my job."))
EDIT: Hey, FoU, I decided to do a google images search for your profile picture... Google thinks you're a cat.((...what?))
Seriously. (https://www.google.com/search?tbs=sbi:AMhZZiv93N-hBBZ9feW_1XuM9Iy5_1ojXLmuLp57wdxHrRS9B1Hi5hsOIwVdbHd_1YxmnkSTNv6hfYWBEwQonB2ifllUlrvU7wb41POzFoxt7jYv4SC5-fGIDyw56xP7Jjp7Seb7kWfitL783LCSq3AezWEfUseB7wUzYvCSk5U1-sfkkuN5eraZQTOLrapifJrW46IAoEJOhq23OW_1yp_1KS1XvpL7sDSWvhs9yt_1EgBvp0AXZIssk59zwHFeyND7RHgl7dAlAFu4CA2y_19_13hsCXKNFQUvSFOqNP0TBYrRrhcADgxtWJ1FowRVyUXCGMBq-rCHmIBQX8YdaUrI0dTQSqnlwe-LfORRAwGvpFJuCziYqK49tjnmC_1EGVvPqZW-kdycUrbAI1uPWWog5Lve6-QRnf-so_1l7ix2go_1AKxyDsDE42CxvSWTSHKgHZKteg6I1yefFLcJNTius2nHH-9kLQ6qao7ZMl0FdLRuRChNus5T2uUxOQXCC3tS4jCSnv8mxvFnJGp2CS1KQ-Hu1M23U5o_1whSRjXk5rYCfQuy0oIg9KvkiNbmKjBkfewnrI3GthsPe11OF5V6BO9aPMqPI7t7723VusfkdHZEquBxz3JygHlIu5RkxbjbV5gfwgo_1AviOaDgNZ_1bQfttsPQEC4ir109bFkccdUnF5m1Yy55B0Q51aW7EUJWIuweIKrL-tsZRJ6qgVFV4Mrxf26A_1nrbp8I_1nhqsa7-cYL9LhnFRq1qTqqAUyMhyyjrSzb5cUfGQ89jJAcmPkhcevZs1_1xIe6aWMPCOrgp4ZKpVskLi8fHkgm30Ax72-_1HXht6PatmepIblwjmujHGEaeNcNfzA8G7hw_1JXNG9DZrF37vezUZKMOhQz36Cz98AgHdqS9uYj3v2lMh68hx9mmZTOfbBgMeumfHKsQpqR5N-MbBVnYkYDy7UbToRS5Yl-ZawZBUKrnddgYaGtqxCpse1m2PWNGocyXjE_1x0nfo1Dh4tbBgihNtuB26UyQlabzc-iRAGsSEqL6Evz6oVwg30NoeK9Zga_1Ndw63q7xRKxRMNQSTUZUmB0zVmxSyOGbsUxU-gFQb7XWgR7lQoTf5awkzeR5puTbb2qMSzvTX3ha1Gg_1lR7tPceKViEh_1Y5ZEjUrSC_18qHXjcoLufLSZmWgVrcR5TIBf4nfH38yUl1OBN1XwvjfzO6lU4nbDfcURX4TpFAHmTYmSsxV3DeEMlOOhoeDgMtGaNOLzyADJAATQGem6Z9YQUbUituNihq3g0dYgZysAUlCuYdhcx0HI8RhpyB3JgDGWdlttfO_1toZUTKBZC_1abwFpVAzRXorRCJvEB1PCULfskiPq5C_1h7NXhANrzjrXGJBxYGnatISNV-cc9VB3iVjnvXFVLczeadX6mMxotNHtqIRTm4isIWdp6OWFZuOk_1CaTQhDIqK07pqAsPH45AEd5o6VCoIGCAsWpDFXyk7SIN0BTGuqCjT2-ZoZL_1v6vatGI8vopBF1lFuBtL9v8t7YbczOKX4NT2Fc15m0YyLrCQugtP0GgLNc5BKlXzKElWI3GsWtFmfgfvhJAgOa9C9hf2es23563vW2PbBUqA_1jN_1eOMKXg1ZL14k7W9ephx5wOFmVfe0rCShJ0tK702Jl0AyC3Gj2FY5mJIQRwn_1MNyi3byUSSEusBOTbOT58JEYGTZa_1FOMey46QJd3fI4864L3h1XpzPv0M)EDIT: Hey, FoU, I decided to do a google images search for your profile picture... Google thinks you're a cat.((...what?))
Hey, question: for the Hall of Milk, could the American Milk Trade be entered, as being "under the control of the giraffes"?
Thanks.Hey, question: for the Hall of Milk, could the American Milk Trade be entered, as being "under the control of the giraffes"?
Done.
Smite any fools who attempt to stop the IMPENDING DOOOOOOOOOOOM.
If I am unable to do that, attempt to speed up the arrival of the IMPENDING DOOOOOOOOOOOM.
1 Decimator super-heavy tank and 2 Chaos Land Raiders emerge from the Warp Portal. 2 squads of Havocs with Multi-Meltas (each squad is 10 people) disembark from Land Raiders and await Eliphas' orders. At least 50 Chaos Marines also emerge from the portal, lead by 2 Chaos Sorcerers and 1 Nurglite Sorcerer (he's a mercenary). Eliphas himself prepares for Gulliman's strike.Honestly I have no idea why any of you are fighting but I love this
Give out the orders to the troops: Decimator tank and Nurglite Sorcerer will attack the National Guard via superior firepower and summoning a rain of rotting filth to demoralize the National Guard. Land Raiders, Havocs, and Chaos Marines will all focus on Men of Iron and Rethi-Eli's minions. Chaos Sorcerers will aid Goatsby in his try to eject Gulliman from this plane of existence
Prepare to parry Gulliman, giving me +1 to my defense if Gulliman or someone else attacks me in close combat.
1 Decimator super-heavy tank and 2 Chaos Land Raiders emerge from the Warp Portal. 2 squads of Havocs with Multi-Meltas (each squad is 10 people) disembark from Land Raiders and await Eliphas' orders. At least 50 Chaos Marines also emerge from the portal, lead by 2 Chaos Sorcerers and 1 Nurglite Sorcerer (he's a mercenary). Eliphas himself prepares for Gulliman's strike.Honestly I have no idea why any of you are fighting but I love this
Give out the orders to the troops: Decimator tank and Nurglite Sorcerer will attack the National Guard via superior firepower and summoning a rain of rotting filth to demoralize the National Guard. Land Raiders, Havocs, and Chaos Marines will all focus on Men of Iron and Rethi-Eli's minions. Chaos Sorcerers will aid Goatsby in his try to eject Gulliman from this plane of existence
Prepare to parry Gulliman, giving me +1 to my defense if Gulliman or someone else attacks me in close combat.
So basically the Imperium are the real assholes while you're just a bunch of rowdy sadistic cultists?1 Decimator super-heavy tank and 2 Chaos Land Raiders emerge from the Warp Portal. 2 squads of Havocs with Multi-Meltas (each squad is 10 people) disembark from Land Raiders and await Eliphas' orders. At least 50 Chaos Marines also emerge from the portal, lead by 2 Chaos Sorcerers and 1 Nurglite Sorcerer (he's a mercenary). Eliphas himself prepares for Gulliman's strike.Honestly I have no idea why any of you are fighting but I love this
Give out the orders to the troops: Decimator tank and Nurglite Sorcerer will attack the National Guard via superior firepower and summoning a rain of rotting filth to demoralize the National Guard. Land Raiders, Havocs, and Chaos Marines will all focus on Men of Iron and Rethi-Eli's minions. Chaos Sorcerers will aid Goatsby in his try to eject Gulliman from this plane of existence
Prepare to parry Gulliman, giving me +1 to my defense if Gulliman or someone else attacks me in close combat.
Well, Imperium and Chaos from Wh40K are each other's mortal enemies, so that's why Eliphas and Girlyman are fighting against each other. Also, I've learned that Word Bearers hate Ultramarines with a burning passion, so it makes even more sense why we fight each other. Imperium is based on Soviet Union/Nazi Germany/Catholic Church, while Chaos are equivalent of drunken, sadistic (Slaanesh's servants are even sadomasochistic), hyper-aggressive mix of drug addicts, bikers, and edgy emo/goff teenagers, who worship Satan (in Chaos' case, Dark Gods) and love to enter the college parties without any permission which they love to turn into bloody carnage with a side of sacrifices of virgins to Satan (again, Dark Gods in the case of Chaos).
((I think you misspelled name of my character in hall of milk.))
Obtain giraffe milk.I suggest you not.
So basically the Imperium are the real assholes while you're just a bunch of rowdy sadistic cultists?1 Decimator super-heavy tank and 2 Chaos Land Raiders emerge from the Warp Portal. 2 squads of Havocs with Multi-Meltas (each squad is 10 people) disembark from Land Raiders and await Eliphas' orders. At least 50 Chaos Marines also emerge from the portal, lead by 2 Chaos Sorcerers and 1 Nurglite Sorcerer (he's a mercenary). Eliphas himself prepares for Gulliman's strike.Honestly I have no idea why any of you are fighting but I love this
Give out the orders to the troops: Decimator tank and Nurglite Sorcerer will attack the National Guard via superior firepower and summoning a rain of rotting filth to demoralize the National Guard. Land Raiders, Havocs, and Chaos Marines will all focus on Men of Iron and Rethi-Eli's minions. Chaos Sorcerers will aid Goatsby in his try to eject Gulliman from this plane of existence
Prepare to parry Gulliman, giving me +1 to my defense if Gulliman or someone else attacks me in close combat.
Well, Imperium and Chaos from Wh40K are each other's mortal enemies, so that's why Eliphas and Girlyman are fighting against each other. Also, I've learned that Word Bearers hate Ultramarines with a burning passion, so it makes even more sense why we fight each other. Imperium is based on Soviet Union/Nazi Germany/Catholic Church, while Chaos are equivalent of drunken, sadistic (Slaanesh's servants are even sadomasochistic), hyper-aggressive mix of drug addicts, bikers, and edgy emo/goff teenagers, who worship Satan (in Chaos' case, Dark Gods) and love to enter the college parties without any permission which they love to turn into bloody carnage with a side of sacrifices of virgins to Satan (again, Dark Gods in the case of Chaos).
It's been a fraction of a day. I'm sure it's still sold in some obscure section of town.Obtain giraffe milk.I suggest you not.
Eh, fine.It's been a fraction of a day. I'm sure it's still sold in some obscure section of town.Obtain giraffe milk.I suggest you not.
-snip-Hey, the Emperor's original vision isn't that bad. It just got screwed up royally.
And the angels and demons hate them both. Angels hate Chaos for obvious reasons and the imperium because they are oppressive to their own people. Devils hate the imperium for obvious reasons and Chaos because it takes worshippers away from them.
Eliphas laughs viciously at the proposal of temporary alliance. "I guess loyalists have a pretty good sense of humour. Too bad that they are so pathetic at trying to be some sort of schemers. Seriously, leave these tricks about "temporary alliances" to someone who's never watches his back... Said Eliphas, clearly refusing the proposal.
Important, additional action added: If I successfully parry the strike of the enemy, counter-attack him with a Power Fist punch to the face.
If nobody attacks me, take out my vox-caster and order a surprise party for Rethi-Eli*!
* Which means that a squad of Chaos Raptors will try to attack Rethi-Eli, neutralize him, and then kidnap and take him to the Warp as a slave.
"Besides... After Gulliman is claimed by the Warp, I'll use my new powers as God of All Beasts to destroy the Death Mug."
THE GREAT GOATSBY roars in laughter. "DEATH TO LOYALIST SCUM!"
"Besides... After Gulliman is claimed by the Warp, I'll use my new powers as God of All Beasts to destroy the Death Mug."
THE GREAT GOATSBY roars in laughter. "DEATH TO LOYALIST SCUM!"
Fixed for you.
honestly I just want to leg it and attend a milkdrinker concert considering how practically everyone here qualifies as wicked
search for the keys to my secret bunker. Invite Oichi there.
"Blast. Well, let's see if anything got in in the meantime." As in, check to see if anything went wrong as a result of the lack of security. Also make sure the rest of the computers are secure.
"Hello, NASA, you say you're getting weird readi- ah. Yes, that... that would be a problem."
Set up funding for anyone willing to put work and resources into solving the Doom Mug issue.
Meanwhile, the other giraffes should attempt to warn other governments and countries about the solar system's plight.
Expand the McDonalds into the nearest dairy farm. Free the cows!!!!!!
I can't risk Diablo getting his claws on a Kill Sat, but heaven just sent me a mission we can both agree upon, save the mortal plain. Without it, neither of us would have any fun.
Begin my assent into space to try to find the mug, and begin plans to send it to the elder plain, the squids will just drink it dry.
Smite any fools who attempt to stop the IMPENDING DOOOOOOOOOOOM.
If I am unable to do that, attempt to speed up the arrival of the IMPENDING DOOOOOOOOOOOM.
((I think you misspelled name of my character in hall of milk.))
Arise brothers! Go beyond the lake and spread the word that anyone can be accepted on the way of milk!
Send golems as my disciples.
SCALE UP THE A. M. A. AND LAUNCH IT AT THE DOOM MUG!
AND THEN SHOOT THE DOOM MUG WITH ORBITAL LASERS!
Obtain giraffe milk. Create a Bovine Biscuit that, when consumed, allows me to turn people into cows and back, including myself.
DENOUNCE THIS SPACELASER FOOL AS A COMPLETE AND UTTER POSER (ON SOCIAL MEDIA, IN INTERVIEWS, OR EVEN JUST SCREAMING IT ON THE STREET TO ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN), THEN HAVE MY FANS LOBBY/THREATEN THE VENUE TO REPLACE THAT WIMP WITH SOME REAL BLACKENED UKULELE METAL, NAMELY MILKDRINKER
IF THAT FAILS, JUST PUT ON MILKDRINKER SHIRT AND AS MANY SPIKED GARMENTS AS I CAN LAY MY HANDS ON, THEN GO WAIT OUTSIDE VENUE WITH MY GEAR TO STAB HIM TO DEATH BEFORE SHOW
METAL CRED WILL SKYROCKET, BLACKENED UKULELE-METAL WILL BECOME TRVEST SUBGENRE OF ALL
"YES! Now I am become Goat, DESTROYER OF WORLDS!" Goatsby screams triumphantly while running a hairy hand over his 6-horned head.1+1vs5
Use my increased power as a God of Beasts to eject Gulliman from this plane of existence
Perhaps we should work on saving this planet? Fulgrim won't be pleased if you waste so many men on a lost cause.2vs3
If he agrees, try to think of methods to save the planet.
If he, or anyone else, attacks me, behead them.
1 Decimator super-heavy tank and 2 Chaos Land Raiders emerge from the Warp Portal. 2 squads of Havocs with Multi-Meltas (each squad is 10 people) disembark from Land Raiders and await Eliphas' orders. At least 50 Chaos Marines also emerge from the portal, lead by 2 Chaos Sorcerers and 1 Nurglite Sorcerer (he's a mercenary). Eliphas himself prepares for Gulliman's strike.3
Give out the orders to the troops: Decimator tank and Nurglite Sorcerer will attack the National Guard via superior firepower and summoning a rain of rotting filth to demoralize the National Guard. Land Raiders, Havocs, and Chaos Marines will all focus on Men of Iron and Rethi-Eli's minions. Chaos Sorcerers will aid Goatsby in his try to eject Gulliman from this plane of existence
Prepare to parry Gulliman, giving me +1 to my defense if Gulliman or someone else attacks me in close combat.
Eliphas laughs viciously at the proposal of temporary alliance. "I guess loyalists have a pretty good sense of humour. Too bad that they are so pathetic at trying to be some sort of schemers. Seriously, leave these tricks about "temporary alliances" to someone who's never watches his back... Said Eliphas, clearly refusing the proposal.3vs6+1
Important, additional action added: If I successfully parry the strike of the enemy, counter-attack him with a Power Fist punch to the face.
If nobody attacks me, take out my vox-caster and order a surprise party for Rethi-Eli*!
* Which means that a squad of Chaos Raptors will try to attack Rethi-Eli, neutralize him, and then kidnap and take him to the Warp as a slave.
Attempt to persuade National Guard that we're all on the same side. Greet Guillman. delet chaos, fight defensively with Ith3-1,4vs2,6
Not good.6+1vs2
Not so bad as the other group.3vs2
Tell the president that his name is Donald Trump, and that he intends to make immigrants illegal, and doen't watch the news, and believes whatever the first thing he hears is.The POTUS would like to inform you that his name is Jackson Spades, and that he has no idea what the heck you're talking about.
Also, the previous president was black, and he was a good president.
Continue chatting about current events.
In addition to prior action, request that the status of the House in Locations be changed from RIP to RIM(Rest In Milk).
Wait, also, why did I get -1 to my roll
Anex VermontYou'll have to fight the giraffagarchy.
Tell the president that his name is Donald Trump, and that he intends to make immigrants illegal, and doen't watch the news, and believes whatever the first thing he hears is.
Also, the previous president was black, and he was a good president.
Continue chatting about current events.
Also, mention that he has a very nice beard.
"A more direct approach, then."2vs6
Imbue Gulliman's body with explosive energies. DESTROY HIM FROM THE INSIDE OUT!
Chaos Terminator Squad (6 people) emerges from the portal and starts to cover Eliphas. "Terminators, fire at anyone who's foolish enough to attack me!" Screamed Eliphas who takes out his vox-caster to contact the reserve squads. "Squad Gamma 1, open the portal leading to the school and pillage it! Loot any milk and capture as much children as you can! Squad Epsilon 3 & 4, open the portal near the Decimator tank and help them drive the National Guard from the city! Do not fail me, out!" Ordered Eliphas to the reserve squads...3,2+1vs1,2,5+1vs6-1
Tell the Terminators to cover me from the enemy while I give out the orders to the troops.
Give out the orders above.
Along with my Terminators, concentrate the fire on Gulliman.
Decimator Tank: When I get reinforcements, don't waste Reaper autocannon ammo at the infantry and focus on destroying enemy vehicles. If the enemy infantry will try to stop me, roll over them.
Order Basilisks to do artillery barrage against the National Guard.
Make the enemies rout.
Note: Gamma 1 has 1 Land Raider and 15 Chaos Marines aboard of it, Epsilon 3 has 20 Havocs with Rocket Launchers (for protecting the tank from the enemy aircraft), and Epsilon 4 has 2 Chaos Predators and 6 Chaos Basilisks. All squads have at least 1 Chaos Sorcerer for opening Warp Portals to the destination points.
Fighting.2vs4
Finally notice Doom Mug1in original post, leave combat and attempt to stop the inevitable end. If successful, search for Milkdrinker poster/flier. If insuccessful, do the same thing anyways
I assume you'd want to hit back, Johiah.5vs4+1
On any other day I would smite this fool myself, but instead, I must focus on protecting the world.5,6vs4
Continue my spell, hope the great one smites the heretic, and with any luck, send the heretic to the elder plain with the same spell.
1,3Spoiler: Secret Action (click to show/hide)
In more important news, take out some of the military budget and set it aside for a joint military-NASA project to create a device that can help us to end the doom-mug threat.
Also, now that other countries are already in action doing this, as well as the fact that they clearly accept our giraffes as intelligent and important, establish embassies for the amazing country of Giraffia!
I love how I'm in charge of two countries.
Continue looking for giraffe milk, and consume the special Bovine Biscuit.
Build a cathedral in the middle of the lake, made out of milk and joining to the shore with milky bridge.
Anex Vermont
You'll have to fight the giraffagarchy.
Take Oichi to the airport, then escape the city via buying a plane ticket at random
GRAB MY UKULELE AND AMP, MAKE GRAND ENTRANCE OUTSIDE THAT VENUE, THEN LEAD MY FANS, LIKE PIED PIPER OF BLACKENED UKULELE METAL, TO THE ZOO... USE MY EARLIER-GAINED KNOWLEDGE OF ITS LAYOUT TO SET UP ON THE BANDSTAND (HOPEFULLY ZOO HAS ONE OF THOSE) AND HIJACK THEIR SOUND SYSTEM FOR THIS IMPROMPTU CONCERT, HOPEFULLY WHILE ZOO STAFF OFF-DUTY/TOO DISTRACTED BY GIRAFFE BEHAVIOURDENOUNCE THIS SPACELASER FOOL AS A COMPLETE AND UTTER POSER (ON SOCIAL MEDIA, IN INTERVIEWS, OR EVEN JUST SCREAMING IT ON THE STREET TO ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN), THEN HAVE MY FANS LOBBY/THREATEN THE VENUE TO REPLACE THAT WIMP WITH SOME REAL BLACKENED UKULELE METAL, NAMELY MILKDRINKER
IF THAT FAILS, JUST PUT ON MILKDRINKER SHIRT AND AS MANY SPIKED GARMENTS AS I CAN LAY MY HANDS ON, THEN GO WAIT OUTSIDE VENUE WITH MY GEAR TO STAB HIM TO DEATH BEFORE SHOW
METAL CRED WILL SKYROCKET, BLACKENED UKULELE-METAL WILL BECOME TRVEST SUBGENRE OF ALL
6,2-1
You humiliate Spacelaser. You drive him from the venue, but your fans end up getting you banned from the place as well with their swarming the owners. A crowd of them is now standing outside the building demanding that they give you a stage.
Take Oichi to the airport, then escape the city via buying a plane ticket at random
Add Girafe Hot Dogs to the menu and slaughter the giraffe commanders via assassinationLike Hell you do that.
Please, take me to the year Two-Thousand and Seventeen.
"Good. Sorry. Was just taken off guard by the success. Anyways. OH MY BLOODY GOODNESS WHAT IS THAT!"Erm... I don't think that the doom mug is there anymore. It's kinda in Cthulhu's living room.
Notices the Doom Mug.
"Any chance we can just ignore that and get back to work?"
FIX THE WORLD! THESE SHENANIGANS MUST NOT GO UNPUNISHED!
There kinda needs to be a world in order to take it over.FIX THE WORLD! THESE SHENANIGANS MUST NOT GO UNPUNISHED!
But I thought your character is an evil genius who wants to take over the world? So I guess you'll fix the world first, and then you'll conquer the world.
P.S Also, since I mentioned "take over the world", here's the obligatory Nostalgia Critic gag (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W7c8QghPxk).
EDIT: Has everyone forgotten that about one third of the world population was turned into cats?!?
*Processing, Processing*EDIT: Has everyone forgotten that about one third of the world population was turned into cats?!?
It wasn't that many, it was only about 2.7 million. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=163787.msg7448398#msg7448398)(Second action)
Harbringer signals his troops to guard the perimeter before entering into the store along with the indoctrinated human. He then commands him to distract the other humans while He grabs the milk.Harbinger, accompanied by his troops, begins looking around for any traces of milk. If he is unsuccessful, then he indoctrinates a nearby human then makes him/her lead the way to the nearest place where milk can be found.
1,4vs2
You get a bit lost and wander around for a while. Then you tire of searching and easily break the will of a local human. He leads you to the store.
Cancel the space laser, but redirect the associated funds to NASA, not the military. We're colonizing Mars, bitches!
The attempt to annex Vermont has given us reasonable cause to nationalize McDonalds.
As for the glorious nation of Giraffia, send representatives to join the UN.
NOOO GM POST SO SOON, I NOT DECIDE ON ACTION IN TIME
GRAB MY UKULELE AND AMP, MAKE GRAND ENTRANCE OUTSIDE THAT VENUE, THEN LEAD MY FANS, LIKE PIED PIPER OF BLACKENED UKULELE METAL, TO THE ZOO... USE MY EARLIER-GAINED KNOWLEDGE OF ITS LAYOUT TO SET UP ON THE BANDSTAND (HOPEFULLY ZOO HAS ONE OF THOSE) AND HIJACK THEIR SOUND SYSTEM FOR THIS IMPROMPTU CONCERT, HOPEFULLY WHILE ZOO STAFF OFF-DUTY/TOO DISTRACTED BY GIRAFFE BEHAVIOUR
IF NO BANDSTAND, SET UP NEAR/IN PANDA ENCLOSURE, BECAUSE PANDAS ARE BLACK METAL AS FUCK
OH AND IF I HAVE TIME ASSIGN A FAN OR TWO WITH TASK OF MAKING AND DISTRIBUTING FLIERS FOR UNPLANNED, LAST-MINUTE ZOO SHOW WHILE I SETTING UP. MAYBE GET BIGGER CROWD, FILL WHOLE ZOO. WAIT, WHAT TIME IS IT ANYWAY? HOW CROWDED IS ZOO? WHO CARES, NOBODY STOPPING US NOW
Add Girafe Hot Dogs to the menu and slaughter the giraffe commanders via assassination
Like Hell you do that.(I don't want to do the Jewish conspiracy thing.)
EDIT2: I'm pretty sure that there's another conspiracy that needs to be added (other than the reptilians and the giraffes): the Jews, who control the world economy, as well as some of the wealthier world powers, such as Japan, the BeNeLux group, and Israel.
EDIT3 (the important one): I, the Giraffe Overmind, reach out to the minds of your cow army and remind them that it was I that made them what they are today, and they should thus be loyal to me. (No, seriously, it was me possessing the hamburgers while I was still the Shadow that made them the Hell Bovine. See the fifth action.) (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=163787.msg7434733#msg7434733)
"I have no idea what's going on here."1vs2,3
Have my basic shotgun-toting minions to fan out in front of Ithadtam and I while ordering my horsemen to harass the enemy with hit-and-run tactics. Ask Ith to protect me with his shield while I attempt to summon some allies from another realm, hopefully one with swords and stuff
"Dark Mechanicus, I need you to hack NATO satellite and corrupt their communications. Let's see how they fight without their eyes and their very ears trying to drive them crazy..." And Eliphas put his vox-caster back into his ass. Then Eliphas and his Terminators aim at the Ithadtam's abdomen.(Chaos vs Rethi's minions)4vs2
Give out the order to Dark Mechanicus*, then shoot Ithadtam in the abdomen.
Squad Gamma 1: Enter Land Raider and drive to the local supermarket, then loot it for milk.
Squad Epsilon 3: Help Eliphas the Inheritor by shooting at Ithadtam from the rocket launchers. Nurglite Sorcerer will unleash disease blob barrage at shotgun minions instead.
Squad Epsilon 4: Keep barraging at the cowardly National Guard.
Land Raiders (Main army): Take mongol riders' harassment on ourselves, then use Havoc Missile Launcher on them.
Havocs (Main army): Fire at the Men of Iron with our Multi-Meltas.
Chaos Sorcerers (Main army again): Aid Goatsby.
Chaos Marines (You guessed it): throw 'nades at the shotgun minions, then shoot at them and Ithadtam.
Decimator Tank: Roll over the mongol riders, then fire all weapons at Ithadtam's head.
* Chaos will be able to see the planet from the NATO satellite, while corrupted communications will drive NATO troops across the globe insane, or even making them serve the Chaos Undivided.
EDIT: How I forgot about Chaos analogue of Baneblade?
"AGHH! WHY, DAMMIT, WHY?! WHY WON'T ANY OF THESE TZEENTCH-DAMNED SPELLS KILL YOU?"
Lift Gulliman with a DISEMBODIED MAGIC HAND and crush him.
Going to keep assuming that playerless characters fight back if attacked.4vs2
Search for a cheap apartment if possible close to a store that sells milk.
I bring him(Lincoln) back with his guards, and wear his hat. I also give him a spare key to the time machine, which has a button to summon it whenever you should need it.
Give blessing of Milk God on those that decided to take the path of milk.
"Good. Sorry. Was just taken off guard by the success. Anyways. OH MY BLOODY GOODNESS WHAT IS THAT!"
Notices the giant portal.
"Any chance we can just ignore that and get back to work?"
FIX THE WORLD! THESE SHENANIGANS MUST NOT GO UNPUNISHED!
Cast a ritual to turn some normal milk into giraffe milk. Afterward, prepare a ritual to curse all baked goods currently on earth to turn people into cows under my control.
Yell, "Free Snack" as loud as I can into the portal and then close it as quickly as possible.5
Should anything wicked this way come and a lovecract beastie get to close to the portal, I want to try to get an eye, tooth, tentacle, or whatever the thing has as a trophy.2
Turn eldritch dimension into new DOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG. Unleash DOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG MK II upon the solar system, this time much closer to Earth.1
(Sorry for posting so late)(No problem, welcome back.)
Harbringer signals his troops to guard the perimeter before entering into the store along with the indoctrinated human. He then commands him to distract the other humans while He grabs the milk.
aiming for something importantNotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehouse...
It wouldn't be the White House, DC is were demons get most of their business.aiming for something importantNotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehouse...
ITHADTAMMMMM"I could give you the strength to destroy any force of Chaos that comes your way... if you promise to later help me bring about the milkpocalypse. What has this primitive, valueless world ever done for you, anyway?"
WHYYYYYYY
This wasn't supposed to happen... I... I just wanted a friend, a companion for when things go awry...
Why did you have to do this?
KILL THEM. KILL THEM ALL. BRING THEM TO THEIR KNEES. SHOW NO MERCY. DO WHATEVER I MUST. DON'T STOP FIGHTING UNTIL EITHER EVERY LAST MINION OF CHAOS IS SLAIN, OR I DIE.
((Any chance to still join?))
ITHADTAMMMMM"I could give you the strength to destroy any force of Chaos that comes your way... if you promise to later help me bring about the milkpocalypse. What has this primitive, valueless world ever done for you, anyway?"
WHYYYYYYY
This wasn't supposed to happen... I... I just wanted a friend, a companion for when things go awry...
Why did you have to do this?
KILL THEM. KILL THEM ALL. BRING THEM TO THEIR KNEES. SHOW NO MERCY. DO WHATEVER I MUST. DON'T STOP FIGHTING UNTIL EITHER EVERY LAST MINION OF CHAOS IS SLAIN, OR I DIE.
Summon a contract (and a functioning, ink-filled pen) and present it to this guy for signing.
"Just sign on the dotted line, and vengeance will be yours."
TURN THE AMPS UP TO 666 (OR HOWEVER HIGH THEY GO)(https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/spinal_tap_amps.png)
So let me get this straight - The forces of chaos have joined forces with agoatcompletely human evil milk deity thing to fight myself and the God-Emperor of whatever, the harbringer of the apocalypse is proposing an offer to me, everyone is in the process of being enthralled by the power of Black Ukelele Metal, and the avatar of the Devil is fighting everyone?
This is amazing. Reaaaally amazing.
So let me get this straight - The forces of chaos have joined forces with agoatcompletely human evil milk deity thing to fight myself and the God-Emperor of whatever, the harbringer of the apocalypse is proposing an offer to me, everyone is in the process of being enthralled by the power of Black Ukelele Metal, and the avatar of the Devil is fighting everyone?
This is amazing. Reaaaally amazing.
OK
Name: Andre Anderson
Description: Average guy
Reason for milk: Dietary requirements
First action: Gather up all my important belongings from my house and bring them to my white van. We're gonna hit the road.
good ideaOKOK.
Name:Andre AndersonReal name: War
Description:Average guyHorseman of apocalypse
Reason for milk: Dem bones.
First action: Gather up all my important belongings from my house and bring them to my white van. We're gonna hit the road.
Before EP posts you may want to change yourself into War. I have a feeling the four horsemen will be showing up soon, no reason someone can't play as one.
good ideaOKOK.
Name:Andre AndersonReal name: War
Description:Average guyHorseman of apocalypse
Reason for milk: Dem bones.
First action: Gather up all my important belongings from my house and bring them to my white van. We're gonna hit the road.
Before EP posts you may want to change yourself into War. I have a feeling the four horsemen will be showing up soon, no reason someone can't play as one.
Name:Andre AndersonReal name: War
Description:Average guyHorseman of apocalypse
Reason for milk: Dem bones.
Name:You, sir, are hired as the US Secretary of Defense.Andre AndersonReal name: War
Description:Average guyHorseman of apocalypse
Reason for milk: Dem bones.
Action: Gather up stuff and head to my van.
Fluff. As Andrew got up, he saw it was one of those days. With a sigh, he retrieved a black cloak and his weaponry from his wardrobe. Sure, sabres and pump action shotguns weren't traditional, but they were functional. War left his house for the last time, andmounted his steadgot into his white van. Way more powerfull than any horse.
ITHADTAMMMMM(The power is represented by you being able to near-singlehandedly fight the entire Chaos force with no penalties.)
WHYYYYYYY
This wasn't supposed to happen... I... I just wanted a friend, a companion for when things go awry...
Why did you have to do this?
quickly sign ATHATH's offer, then KILL THEM. KILL THEM ALL. BRING THEM TO THEIR KNEES. SHOW NO MERCY. DO WHATEVER I MUST. DON'T STOP FIGHTING UNTIL EITHER EVERY LAST MINION OF CHAOS IS SLAIN, OR I DIE.
"Word Bearers, rejoice! Gulliman is dead! Keep fighting and we'll capture the city for the Dark Gods!" Screamed Eliphas to his troops. He noticed that the portal is gone, so he orders his Chaos Sorcerers to concentrate on re-summoning the portal, while he and his Terminators charge at the Men of Iron.A lot of actions this time.
Destroy the Men of Iron once and for all, then finally capture the city for Chaos.
Order Goatsby to immobilize Rethi-Eli. If Goatsby fails, attack Rethi-Eli anyway.
Kill Rethi-Eli.
Chaos Havocs with Multi-Meltas (main army): Evaporate Imperial Stormtroopers.
Chaos Marines (main army): Assist Eliphas in destroying the Men of Iron.
Decimator Tank & Nurglite Sorcerer: Corrupt milk creatures, turning them into blight milk creatures. If it fails, Decimator shall roll over them.
Chaos Sorcerers (main army): Re-open the portal.
Squad Gamma 1: Raid the mall for milk. If it doesn't have any milk, drive to the local supermarket again, and loot it for milk.
Squad Epsilon 3: Shoot from the rocket launchers at that Angel/Demon guy.
Squad Epsilon 4: Destroy the police station via artillery barrage.
Chaos Land Raiders (main army): All weapons on Angel/Demon guy.
Dismount dire ostrich. Command it to go after Rethi-Eli while attempting to turn Rethi-Eli's muscles and joints into goo incapable of supporting his movements.(Dire Ostrich vs Rethi)4vs2
FINALLY, FREEDOM!5,2vs4
Summon darkness in the shape of a cone and throw it down towards earth, aiming for something important. Then fly down to earth ready to beat the !$%# out of those *&%^%ing Chaos people
"I could give you the strength to destroy any force of Chaos that comes your way... if you promise to later help me bring about the milkpocalypse. What has this primitive, valueless world ever done for you, anyway?"4
Summon a contract (and a functioning, ink-filled pen) and present it to this guy for signing.
"Just sign on the dotted line, and vengeance will be yours."
Send milk creatures to seek more milk and take over the city.
I let Lincoln to do whatever he wants to do, informing him of what the button does.
Then I go and try to find some milk.
So, off to see about the President...
...fine.
Give the Giraffia UN representatives US backing and try again.
Remove the hell bovine threat.
wonder why you are paying for Oichi vacation then shrug and search for a nice hotel.
Continue working ritual, and turn milk ash to high-strength powdered milk. As in, strong enough to turn the seas to milk.
"Blast."
Walk to boss.
"Boss. There's something you should see. Find a window and look out of it. Then help me get our employees back under control. They all ran off when they saw the portal."
"THIS... IS... MILKDRINKER!4+1
DRINK MILK AND HAIL SATAAAAN!"
TURN THE AMPS UP TO 666 (OR HOWEVER HIGH THEY GO) AND THEN, WITH THE ABOVE INTRODUCTION, LAUNCH INTO A BLISTERING UKULELE METAL ASSAULT, SCREAMING IMPROV LYRICS INVOLVING THE MIGHTINESS OF SATAN, THE DELICIOUSNESS (AND NUTRITIONAL VALUE!) OF MILK AND MOCKING THE LAMENESS OF BOTH THE GOD-EMPEROR AND HIS WIMPY CHAOS COUNTERPARTS
ZOO STAFF, VISITORS, TOURISTS, POSERS, CHAOS MARINES, OTHER PLAYERS, COWFOLK, MY FANS AND INNOCENT PASSERSBY ALIKE, NONE SHALL ESCAPE THE POWER OF MY MUSICAL ONSLAUGHT
ALSO POINT OUT TO GM THAT, AS CURRENT IN-GAME SEASON IS WINTER, ACTIONS INVOLVING THE PERFORMANCE OF GRIM, FROSTBITTEN BLACK METAL (INCLUDING BLACKENED UKULELE METAL OF COURSE) SHOULD RECEIVE AT LEAST A +1 BONUS
I guess If those Sorcerers will not re-open the portal, I'm going down...Spoiler: !!GM ONLY, PLEASE DON'T LOOK!! (click to show/hide)
Name:Andre AndersonReal name: War
Description:Average guyHorseman of apocalypse
Reason for milk: Dem bones.
Action: Gather up stuff and head to my van.
Fluff. As Andrew got up, he saw it was one of those days. With a sigh, he retrieved a black cloak and his weaponry from his wardrobe. Sure, sabres and pump action shotguns weren't traditional, but they were functional. War left his house for the last time, andmounted his steadgot into his white van. Way more powerfull than any horse.
Be a man, a man with one mission, that mission is to find the best milk shake in the world
Telepatically order milk creatures to get inside the robot through any holes in it's hull and destroy it for being too stompy.
Hey EP, can I write a doomsday prophecy for the game, it seems we will be needing one.
Notes: GM, please correct previous action of Decimator Tank to "Decimator smashed the milk monsters under it's treads". It's a Chaos' Baneblade analogue, not super version of Chaos Dreadnought. Also, please give the other Dark Apostle a name. I'm too lazy to come up with the name for him.
I'll just write it in parts describing things that happened in fancy old English ways. Also things that are likely to happen.Hey EP, can I write a doomsday prophecy for the game, it seems we will be needing one.
Sure, but I can't guarantee it will be be followed.
Yours is nice but in all honesty mine is a masterpiece
What was I doing?Its only simple in hindsight.
((Also, booooo, booooooo, that prophecy needs to be far more complicated. Agnes would be disappointed. ;P))
QUICK!Find a car! then OFF TO WENDIES!
PRESS ONWARDS.2vs5
"LOOK AT THESE CHUCKLEFUCKS! CAN'T THE OUTSIDERS MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS FOR ONCE?! IT'S JUST A PLANET WE'RE CONQUERING HERE, GEEZE..."2+1Spoiler: !!GM ONLY!! (click to show/hide)
Eliphas sees how Rethi-Eli smashes his army, and decides to charge with his Chaos Terminators at Rethi-Eli, while screaming "Chaos calls for your destruction!" Meanwhile, another Dark Apostle plans to attack the biggest military base in New Hampshire...(Eliphas drawing daemon powers)1
Draw daemonic powers before charging, giving Eliphas and his Terminators +1 to attack for 2 turns.
Kill Rethi-Eli.
Havocs with Multi-meltas (main army): Shoot at Angel/Devil guy.
Decimator Tank & Nurglite Sorcerer: Go and help the main army. Nurglite Sorcerer will try to summon Plaguebearers.
Chaos Marines (main army): Hold against Rethi-Eli.
Land Raiders (main army): Shoot at Angel/Devil guy from all the weapon available, including Havoc Missile Launcher.
Squad Gamma 1 & Squad Epsilon 4: 1 Chaos Marine will grab all the looted milk, and abandon the battefield through the portal to Hell-Forge. Dark Mechanicus will try to use the milk in order to improve geneseeding process. Then both Gamma 1 & Epsilon 4 will regroup and change their composition:
9 Chaos Marines & Land Raider will guard Chaos Basilisks from now on, while 2 Chaos Predators will go and help the main army. Then Epsilon 4 will barrage both Yoink and Spacelaser (ugh, that was a long action).
Squad Epsilon 3: Destroy the Men of Iron with rocket launchers.
Chaos Sorcerers: Aid Goatsby, then re-open the portal.
Chaos Raptors: Throw Melta-bombs at the audio system of Yoink. If Yoink survives the artillery barrage, take him as a prisoner.
Dark Apostle Anak's forces*:
Attack and destroy the military base, no prisoners!
If the base is destroyed successfully, drive to Concord and overthrow the state government.
* His forces consist of 8 Chaos Dreadnoughts, 20 Havocs, 70 Chaos Marines, 7 Rhinos with Heavy Flamers, 16 Khornate Berzerkers, and 6 Chaos Predators.
"Diablo, stick to the plan" "But I was having fun" "Fine, kill some Chaos fools, but then head to the library" "Certainly"3vs6,2
Continue attacking Chaos forces, Its fun, also, summon walls of pure darkness to block projectiles from hitting me.
Purchase the milk with my moneys.5+1
Telepatically order milk creatures to get inside the tank through any holes in it's hull and destroy it for being too stompy.
let Oichi sleep then go back to house hunting.
Develop the tech in order to block the overmind. And equip the cow army with it as standard equipment.
*groans*(US vs Bovines)6vs4
Hold a meeting with the commanders of the Hell Bovines: We will end this fighting on the condition that you leave Vermont alone and stop selling people burgers.
If they accept, refocus military on the Chaos problem (though recall, all of the police in a wide radius should be zeroing in on their location, as it's really obvious and their religion is illegal).
If they refuse, keep fighting, but send ~ 1/5 of the troops to fight Chaos, just to help out until we can finish up with this annoyance; they will bu under the command of whoever commands the Imperial troops.
Have a meeting with Lincoln. No reason to assume it is not Lincoln; this is a weird reality, and the president is a giraffe. Although, correct his incorrect assumptions. Clearly, the timeline has been changed for the better. (;))
"Of course, sir."
Go find the people and get them back to work.
Accept the job.
Just need to get something first
Drive to the neighbouring town. Fastly.
Work on super-strong powdered milk. If it's strong enough to turn all the oceans into milk, put in oceans. Until then, keep working on it.
9 Chaos Marines & Land Raider will guard Chaos Basilisks from now on, while 2 Chaos Predators will go and help the main army. Then Epsilon 4 will barrage both Yoink and Spacelaser (ugh, that was a long action).(Chaos vs Milkdrinker)5vs1+1
Chaos Raptors: Throw Melta-bombs at the audio system of Yoink. If Yoink survives the artillery barrage, take him as a prisoner.
KICK ONE OF THESE WARHAMMER COSPLAY DWEEBS INTO CROWD WHILST STRUMMING ANOTHER BARRAGE OF FROSTY RIFFAGE, ENCOURAGE FANS TO TEAR THEM (AND THE OTHERS) APART WHILST I ASSESS THE LENGTH OF MY UKULELE CORD... IS IT LONG ENOUGH TO REACH BAT CAVES WHILST STILL PLUGGED IN??
IF YES, STRIDE OVER THERE TO DO BATTLE WITH SPACELASER
STIR THE BATS INTO A BLOODTHIRSTY FRENZY AROUND HIM THROUGH USE OF SOME ESPECIALLY WRATHFUL TREMOLO PICKING, AT THE PERFECT SONIC FREQUENCY TO CONFOUND THEIR ECHOLOCATION AND ENRAGE THEM
AD-LIB SOME BADASS VERSE ABOUT BATS, OR BAT MONSTERS, OR POSSIBLY VAMPIRE LORDS EMERGING FROM SLUMBER, I DUNNO
What was I doing?
FINALLY got internet access back. Sadly, it appears I died. Darn, was going to summon an Imperator class Titan and the Emperor's divine form himself.
Examine my surroundings
Work on super-strong powdered milk. If it's strong enough to turn all the oceans into milk, put in oceans. Until then, keep working on it.Continue work! Also, how's my cow army doing?
And your day hasn't even been the weirdest one.What was I doing?
As far as you can recall, you woke up this morning and decided you needed some milk. You got out one of your battlesuits and went to rob the store. You had a skirmish with enemies boosted by weird milk nonsense. Then you left after they disabled your anti-milk weapon to make a better one. Then there was a giant mug trying to eat the solar system, so you bombarded that until it got ejected into another dimension. Then you tried to fix all the world's problems, but you were unsuccessful. You also bought all the cheap apartments in Luxembourg.
STAND UP, TEASING OUT SOME OMINOUS, BETWEEN-SONGS FEEDBACK FROM MY UKULELE OF DARKNESS AS I REGAIN MY BALANCE UNLESS AMP BROKEN I GUESS
CALL OFF THE BATS AND HELP MY OLD RIVAL, SPACELASER, TO HIS FEET
NO WORDS ARE NEEDED TO FORM THIS NEW ALLIANCE.IFAS HE ACCEPTS MY HELPING HAND WE SHALL PERFORM THE HANDSHAKE (http://i.imgur.com/p8MccmB.jpg).
ONCE THAT PORTENTOUS GESTURE IS COMPLETE WE SHALL COMBINE FORCES (AND SOUND EQUIPMENT), WITH SPACELASER JOINING ME ON STAGE/IN THE CAVES TO COMPLETE THE SHOW WITH A DEADLY DOUBLE-DOSE OF UNIMAGINABLY POWERFUL BLACKENED UKULELE METAL THE LIKES OF WHICH THE WORLD HAS NEVER BEFORE SEEN, REJUVENATING THOSE WOUNDED IN THE ATTACK AND STRIKING FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO FOLLOW THE SO-CALLED 'CHAOS GODS'!
OOZE A FEW DRAMATIC BLOOD-TEARS AND SCREAM THE FOLLOWING IMMEDIATELY PRIOR TO LAUNCHING INTO OUR FIRST SONG:
"THESE NERDY CHAOS POSERS SHALL BE CRUSHED! OUR FALLEN FANS SHALL BE AVENGED! THE SCENE IS UNITED AND THE UNTOLD POWER OF BLACKENED UKULELE METAL NOW RUNS UNCHEEEECKED!"
How's my cow army doing?
Also, Eliphas uses Power Fist, so please change "Eliphas severs Rethi's left arm" to "Eliphas rip off Rethi's left arm". Was Plaguebearers' summoning a success?
So I killed a bunch of his dudes but he still has all of his army intact?
Seems legit
So I killed a bunch of his dudes but he still has all of his army intact?
Seems legit
Sorry, there's a lot to keep track of. How about you killed some of his Marines, but Eliphas replaced them with his portal.
So I killed a bunch of his dudes but he still has all of his army intact?
Seems legit
Sorry, there's a lot to keep track of. How about you killed some of his Marines, but Eliphas replaced them with his portal.
I wrecked the portal with a spike of pure evil.
A shame I couldn't post in time, I was hoping you would use this (https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Emprahsque) universe for the war hammer part, saying something along the lines of 'our Earth got pulled into a warp storm caused by the Emprahsque's birth and along the way to the wh universe creatures from many alternate earths got pulled onto it.As creator of our first canon (looping timeline), I heartily approve of any and all things regarding the Emprahsque and declare this new canon as a suitably superior replacement to the old canon.
and it's kinda bullshit that Croc gets all those guys, I mean seriouslySM and I were just discussing that, actually. I'm the US government, the US president, and the country of Giraffia; I take 3 moves. Croc is a small army; he takes 13 moves. At the very least, there should be a penalty for that, if not just not allowing that many actions.
Also I feel a bit out of place since i know practically nothing about WH40KIf it's from space, it's either an asshole (in communist flavor or football hooligan flavor) or it worships the gods of evil. If it's from earth, it's either an asshole (in beurocrat flavor or nazi flavor, all with a nice side of xenophobe) or it worships the gods of evil.
Hey, did you already say what state Genericville is in, and if not, can I suggest somewhere in New England?
Also I feel a bit out of place since i know practically nothing about WH40KDon't worry, I didn't either. Then I spent six months and hundreds of hours wasting time reading lore. Is probably why I don't have a 4.0 GPA.
I read the TvTropes pages for Rogue Trader, Tabletop Gaming memes, and also some of the more general references throughout the site. I also read the Emprasque stories and part of Deffwotch. I do not play any WH40K games, and I don't expect to get a chance to do so for a while.Also I feel a bit out of place since i know practically nothing about WH40KDon't worry, I didn't either. Then I spent six months and hundreds of hours wasting time reading lore. Is probably why I don't have a 4.0 GPA.
That makes sense. Thanks for the explanation.Also I feel a bit out of place since i know practically nothing about WH40KIf it's from space, it's either an asshole (in communist flavor or football hooligan flavor) or it worships the gods of evil. If it's from earth, it's either an asshole (in beurocrat flavor or nazi flavor, all with a nice side of xenophobe) or it worships the gods of evil.
If it's not from space or earth, it's a demon that worships the gods of evil (or is a god of evil).
Understand?
Yeah so Enemy Post, if you could update the DM to me waking up on an Eldar craftworld, that would reflect the Emprahsqueniverse.
Please?
Okay, guys, I'll try to keep the things abstract when the next turn begins. Also, about Chaos Marines, let's just say there's 14-16 of them left (there's still Havocs, Land Raiders, Predators, Basilisks, and Sorcerers, though).
Also, enemy post, would you kindly update the status of the police station from "Holding the line" to "Destroyed by artillery barrage"? Remember, I ordered an artillery strike on it.
Once more, some demons want to be your manager.MAYBE YOU CAN HANDLE RELEASE OF UPCOMING MILKDRINKER / SPACELASER SPLIT AFTER THIS SHOW
Also, the devil has a management contract for MILKDRINKER. Not a demon management contract, a normal management contract, like the ones he had for KISS, Ozzy Osbourne, and Alice Cooper.
Once more, some demons want to be your manager.MAYBE YOU CAN HANDLE RELEASE OF UPCOMING MILKDRINKER / SPACELASER SPLIT AFTER THIS SHOW
THEN WE SEE ABOUT MANAGEMENT CONTRACT... PROBABLY HOLD OUT FOR OFFER FROM SATAN HIMSELF THOUGH TO BE HONEST
Buy the house if I already bought the house go to search for quirky roommates that will accidentally destroy the house (and probably the city) next time you all run out of milk
Continue work!
Create a cloning device so that cows can be mass produced for the army.
Force the McDonald's cow army to surrender.
In other news: Well, Mr. Lincoln, could you potentially tell us anything of the forces that managed to bring you to our time? Purely for research purposes, of course.
As for the glorious country of Giraffia, develop infrastructure to get from one part of Giraffia to another with minimal difficulty.
Rush into the store, throw wallet at the people inside and demand all their milkshakes
"GIVE ME ALL THE MILSHAKES I SWEAR I WILL THROTTLE YOU!"
Decimator Tank: Shoot from Decimator Cannon one time at Armnotok, then drive away from him and help the main army destroying the Men of Iron.
5vs4
Fly to the battlefield and cast milk-spear at the tank. If fails, stomp it down.
Okay....
Go offroad to the nearest town, without crashing into anything or getting stuck
maybe a horse was better.....
Engage hovermode! Where we're going, we don't need roads! If fail do above.
Eliphas sees some jet interceptors flying above the city. "I knew that they'll come back, but their aircraft will not save them from the inevitable defeat. Basilisks, prepare Rot Plague shells! Today, they'll all turn into rotting corpses..." Said Eliphas to Chaos Basilisks via vox-caster. Eliphas prepares his Power Fist and tells the Chaos Marines to charge against the Men of Iron.
Rip and tear through the ranks of Men of Iron.
If successful, stop Rethi-Eli from escaping
Decimator Tank: Shoot from Decimator Cannon one time at Armnotok, then drive away from him and help the main army destroying the Men of Iron.
Nurglite Sorcerer: Make Ithadham's body rot at insane rate.
Squad Gamma 1: Hold the line against US military.
Squad Epsilon 3: Use rocket launchers to fight the enemy's aircraft.
Plaguebearers: Stop Rethi-Eli from retrieving the body.
Squad Epsilon 4: Bombard US military with "Rot Plague"* shells.
Predator Tanks & Land Raiders: Prevent Diablo from hurting the infantry by overwhelming him with fire.
Chaos Marines (main army): Destroy the Men of Iron.
Havocs with Multi-Meltas: Melt the Men of Iron.
Chaos Sorcerers: Open a huge, invincible** Warp Portal.
Chaos Raptors: Throw melta-bombs at the fanboys of Milkdrinker.
Dark Apostle Anak's forces: Regroup and attack Concord.
* They cause sheer necrosis and heavy diarrhea via breath and skin contact.
** By "invincible" I mean "can't be destroyed/closed so easily". It's still can be destroyed/closed, just not with the average tricks.
"It's not working" "Ok then, lets head to the library" "$&#^ that halo boy, it just means I have to kill them harder." "I knew this would happen, fine, but if you can't make much head way, we go to plan A, C, or D" "YEAH!"
Continue murdering the hell out of Chaos jerks, if possible, move towards the place the rock soundtrack is coming from. (the concert at the zoo)
Tell Chimera to back up the army, mount dire ostrich. Summon more extraplanar beasts.
1,6
Heal myself, and attempt to recover Ithadtam's corpse. Retreat for now.
Buy the milk.
Win the game.
Roll a 6 sided die.
So now my quarters are on an Eldar craftworld? Is this some Eldar psychic skullduggery?
Ask the "Ultramarines" how I woke up, where I am, and what the state of the Imperium of Man is.
"Okay, look. What conditions are you talking about? The portal's vanished. Is there anything else I should know about?"
4(Unable to do action, but they start to recover.)
Chaos Raptors: Throw melta-bombs at the fanboys of Milkdrinker.
STAND UP, TEASING OUT SOME OMINOUS, BETWEEN-SONGS FEEDBACK FROM MY UKULELE OF DARKNESS AS I REGAIN MY BALANCE UNLESS AMP BROKEN I GUESS
CALL OFF THE BATS AND HELP MY OLD RIVAL, SPACELASER, TO HIS FEET
NO WORDS ARE NEEDED TO FORM THIS NEW ALLIANCE.IFAS HE ACCEPTS MY HELPING HAND WE SHALL PERFORM THE HANDSHAKE (http://i.imgur.com/p8MccmB.jpg).
ONCE THAT PORTENTOUS GESTURE IS COMPLETE WE SHALL COMBINE FORCES (AND SOUND EQUIPMENT), WITH SPACELASER JOINING ME ON STAGE/IN THE CAVES TO COMPLETE THE SHOW WITH A DEADLY DOUBLE-DOSE OF UNIMAGINABLY POWERFUL BLACKENED UKULELE METAL THE LIKES OF WHICH THE WORLD HAS NEVER BEFORE SEEN, REJUVENATING THOSE WOUNDED IN THE ATTACK AND STRIKING FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO FOLLOW THE SO-CALLED 'CHAOS GODS'!
OOZE A FEW DRAMATIC BLOOD-TEARS AND SCREAM THE FOLLOWING IMMEDIATELY PRIOR TO LAUNCHING INTO OUR FIRST SONG:
"THESE NERDY CHAOS POSERS SHALL BE CRUSHED! OUR FALLEN FANS SHALL BE AVENGED! THE SCENE IS UNITED AND THE UNTOLD POWER OF BLACKENED UKULELE METAL NOW RUNS UNCHEEEECKED!"
Make a new doommug (much closer to the Earth) and all that. If my contract-signer isn't busy fighting Chaos or something, ask/demand/invoke the contract to force him to help me.
...Informed GM about absence of Mallos' action.
((No problem, my loyal sorcerer! Also, I've a better idea for you! I give you some Sorcerers as a support, and in exchange you'll corrupt Milkdrinker's audio system to play Limp Bizkit vaporwave (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M00_vz9T0Go). Deal?))
The post is reserved for my speech and actions! I wait for GM's decision about my new post format...
"Okay and oh shoot what the heck is that." *Notices neo-doom mug* "That's... I... okay, new plan. One, we're going to point this out to my boss, and two, we're then all going to come to my house and throw an end-of-the-world party. I'm fairly sure I've got some really rare unopened vintage, now's probably the time to use it."
((BTW, Who created (and controls them) these Angry cows?))
Me. They were created by me. Out of hamburgers.Who created these Angry cows?a ghostly shadow
Me. They were created by me. Out of hamburgers.Who created these Angry cows?a ghostly shadow
I was possessing a lot of stuff back then, with weird effects.
Well, you can't now; now I'm giraffes.Me. They were created by me. Out of hamburgers.Who created these Angry cows?a ghostly shadow
I was possessing a lot of stuff back then, with weird effects.
Yeah, I still remember when you possessed my power sword. I should have killed you earlier.
I noticed that mortality rate of Player Characters in this RTD is ludicrously low. Only Rowrowrowyourboat Gentlydownthestreamman died, but only in the Milkverse. In Emprahsque-verse he's fine.
I noticed that mortality rate of Player Characters in this RTD is ludicrously low. Only Rowrowrowyourboat Gentlydownthestreamman died, but only in the Milkverse. In Emprahsque-verse he's fine.
Technically, you killed ATHATH.
I noticed that mortality rate of Player Characters in this RTD is ludicrously low. Only Rowrowrowyourboat Gentlydownthestreamman died, but only in the Milkverse. In Emprahsque-verse he's fine.
Technically, you killed ATHATH.
Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.I noticed that mortality rate of Player Characters in this RTD is ludicrously low. Only Rowrowrowyourboat Gentlydownthestreamman died, but only in the Milkverse. In Emprahsque-verse he's fine.
Technically, you killed ATHATH.
He unfortunately didn't stay that way.
It's really becoming a problem. If I have to interrupt my plans to save the world one more time, you are in for some serious hurt. THE VOID is not a good place to visit.Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.I noticed that mortality rate of Player Characters in this RTD is ludicrously low. Only Rowrowrowyourboat Gentlydownthestreamman died, but only in the Milkverse. In Emprahsque-verse he's fine.
Technically, you killed ATHATH.
He unfortunately didn't stay that way.
Land outside a shop that sells milk.Yes, we need you to assist in the creation of a laser that will destroy the doom mug.
Contact the President if they have an assignement for me.
Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.It's a DOOOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUUG, not a death mug.
heal up before I head off to fulfill my bargain, because this existence is crappy
Also attempt once again to retrieve Ithadtam's body
The Nurglite Sorcerer tries to destroy Ithadtam's corpse with rot magic. He may have used a bit too much. Ithadtam does indeed decay badly. And then he stands up and looks down at the Chaos troops around him.
"Huzzah, BRAINS."
If the answer is latter, then I've to edit my post to include his army's actions.No. No, you do not. We need to have an intervention about your action addiction.
Nonsense. It's a perfectly healthy addiction, like coffee! ((Provided you don't drink 30 pots a day...))If the answer is latter, then I've to edit my post to include his army's actions.No. No, you do not. We need to have an intervention about your action addiction.
Which he does the equivalent of.Nonsense. It's a perfectly healthy addiction, like coffee! ((Provided you don't drink 30 pots a day...))If the answer is latter, then I've to edit my post to include his army's actions.No. No, you do not. We need to have an intervention about your action addiction.
and it's kinda bullshit that Croc gets all those guys, I mean seriouslySM and I were just discussing that, actually. I'm the US government, the US president, and the country of Giraffia; I take 3 moves. Croc is a small army; he takes 13 moves. At the very least, there should be a penalty for that, if not just not allowing that many actions.
Oh god(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/QDySGUFAom0/hqdefault.jpg)
YES
EDIT: HUZZAH
ATTEMPT TO EMPOWER ITHADTAM
CHANNEL ALL OF MY ENERGY INTO HIS NASTY ROTTEN BOSY AND MAKE IT WHOLE ONCE AGAIN
Oh god
YES
EDIT: HUZZAH
ATTEMPT TO EMPOWER ITHADTAM
CHANNEL ALL OF MY ENERGY INTO HIS NASTY ROTTEN BOSY AND MAKE IT WHOLE ONCE AGAIN
Speed up arrival of NEO-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM MUG. Order my minion to do the same. Use the magic of the contract to force him to comply, if necessary.
Roar in anger so the whole earth would quake. Summon an enormous halberd of milk and chop everything around to tiny pieces.
Land outside a shop that sells milk.
Contact the President if they have an assignement for me.
"FUCK YOUR MUSIC, EXPERIMENT 1! I DIDN'T GIVE YOU BLOOD-SHOOTING EYEBALLS FOR THIS!"
Corrupt Spacelaser's audio to play thisunholy trashbeautiful masterpiece. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M00_vz9T0Go)
POINT OUT TO GM THAT MY AUDIO EQUIPMENT ALREADY DESTROYED (AM USING SPACELASER'S), SO ANY ATTACKS ON IT WOULD HAVE NO EFFECT!
...IF I CAN'T THUSLY RULES-LAWYER MY WAY OUT OF DANGER, RECRUIT A SOUND GUY FROM THE AUDIENCE (HALF OF PRETTY MUCH EVERY CROWD USUALLY MADE UP OF ASPIRING AUDIO ENGINEERS ANYWAY) TO DEFEND OUR PERFORMANCE FROM TAMPERING, NATURALLY GIVING OUR DUAL-UKULELE ASSAULT AN MORE BEASTLY TONE WHILE THEY'RE AT IT
THAT SOUND ENGINEERING SHIT'S BASICALLY MAGIC ANYWAY, CAN'T BE MUCH HARDER TO PROTECT FROM ACTUAL SORCEROUS ASSAULTS
EITHER WAY SPACELASER AND I SHALL CONTINUE PLAYING. AFTER OUR CURRENT SONG FINISHES, EXHORT THE AUDIENCE MEMBERS TO BRING ME A BEER OR TWO. OR BETTER YET, MILK. ACTUALLY WAIT, SEE IF SOME BRAVE SOUL IS METAL (AND CALCIUM-RICH) ENOUGH TO BRING ME DRINKING HORN FILLED WITH MILK AND WHISKEY. THAT BE PERFECT COMBO RIGHT NOW
THEN ANNOUNCE OUR LAST SONG, UNLESS WE HAVING SOUND PROBLEMS I NEED TO DEAL WITH
((No problem, my loyal sorcerer! Also, I've a better idea for you! I give you some Sorcerers as a support, and in exchange you'll corrupt Milkdrinker's audio system to play Limp Bizkit vaporwave (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M00_vz9T0Go). Deal?))
Portal screeches with demons' voices, summoning more reinforcements and replenishing the ranks of dead Chaos Marines. A couple of Fellblades also arrive on the battlefield. Decimator Tank and Nurglite Sorcerer join the main army. "I guess we can have a temporary alliance with those angry cows... We'll send them reinforcements as a symbol that we have the same enemy at the moment." Said Eliphas to his troops. A couple of Chaos Marine Squads embark inside Land Raiders, ready to kill some US military forces. Meanwhile, Word Bearers are ready to destroy the Men of Iron, once and for all.
Along with my army, crush those Men of Iron already! Also, send a couple of Sorcerers to aid Goatsby's action.
Help Angry cows by sending them reinforcements, then propose temporary alliance with them.
Fellblades and Chaos Basilisks shall keep the US military from advancing.
((BTW, Who created (and controls them) these Angry cows?))
Forget what I said about the new format, I'll go with abstract 3 actions per turn.
Note to GM and Rethi-Eli: Nurglite Sorcerer will try to control Ithadtam. Also, shall Dark Apostle Anak be NPC, or still be under my command? If the answer is latter, then I've to edit my post to include his army's actions.
Text Oichi with my new location. Then try to initiate a friendly conversation with the ghosts
The Emperor has awake? This is great news!
But where is he now, there are things I must tell him.
Request a meeting with the Emperor, assuming he is on Craftworld Ulthwe
Yes, set up the teleporters! And then go and warn everyone about the new Doom Mug!
Mr. Lincoln, would you happen to know where this "Shaun O'Brian" may be? I feel that this may be im- [interrupted by NASA bringing news of new Doom Mug] "...I'm so very sorry Mr. Lincoln, but we'll have to cut this short." I need to get NASA and the military back to work on that space laser project that they'd started earlier.
"Well #*]^" "What is it" "Another Doom Mug" "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Well, the upper atmosphere is lovly this time of year" "Yes, yes it is"
Fly back up on wings of blackness and send this new mug to THE VOID, so it's very NAME is erased from existence. If I fail, try again, if I succeed, track down the one responsible and cut whatever he uses to do magic off him.
EDIT: Should I succeed, I would like everyone to replace wherever they mentioned the Doom Mug with blank spaces.
>Go play a Minecraft bootleg (???) and milk a cow in the Minecraft bootleg.
"Okay and oh shoot what the heck is that." *Notices neo-doom mug* "That's... I... okay, new plan. One, we're going to point this out to my boss, and two, we're then all going to come to my house and throw an end-of-the-world party. I'm fairly sure I've got some really rare unopened vintage, now's probably the time to use it."
Get the science cows the equipment they need
ANTI-NEO-DOOM-MUG ACTION
Shouldn't the NEOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG have hit by now? It was 5 turns away last turn, 1 turn has passed since then, and my turn, Glass's turn, and TheBiggerFish's turn together reduced the doom clock by 4 turns.No, we added time. EP didn't communicate that clearly, but all of our actions were to prevent the mug from happening.
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/4d/15/bc/4d15bc592d3c5ce2e27bf23ac71d6240.jpg)
"I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW WHAT"Is this a statement of suicidal intent, because it really sounds like one. Hell's lawyers are already working on the breaking of your contact, they are the masters of theses kinds of contracts, they can definatly break them.
Am I still bound by contract to help ATHATH? Jaunt over to the White House and attempt to destroy the anti-doom mug laser. If this breaks my contract...
Find a cheap roadside motel, somewhere nobody can find me. Go to the local drug store, get a prescription for my constant headaches. Buy a small bottle of whiskey and a cheap paperback novel. Read the book, drink the whiskey, then take every last pill and lay down with a smile.
"I'll be joining you soon, brother in arms."
No, we added time. EP didn't communicate that clearly, but all of our actions were to prevent the mug from happening.
Anyway, just saying a thing works on "xen" without telling me what that is is not a fair thing to do. >:(
Have the Zerg and the Protoss show up and start throwing down. :DNo, we added time. EP didn't communicate that clearly, but all of our actions were to prevent the mug from happening.
Anyway, just saying a thing works on "xen" without telling me what that is is not a fair thing to do. >:(
Sorry, I meant to write that you added +2 to the timer while ATHATH and BiggerFish lowered it by 2. Fixed.
Anyway, the 6 you rolled implied there had to be some kind of accident. It would have been fine if the roll had been better. I had been hoping you had played Half Life, though. Would you prefer different extradimensionsal horrors? DOOM maybe?
go to area 51. also acquire Putin's phone no..
Zerg and Protoss are always nice, but how 'bout some Inter-dimensional Chupacabras (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chupacabra) invading the Earth too? They'll mostly invade Asian countries (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goat_farming), tho.go to area 51. also acquire Putin's phone no..
Genericville is American city, calling Putin to deal with it will cause WWIII. Do you wish to start World War Three, yes or no?
Zerg and Protoss are always nice, but how 'bout some Inter-dimensional Chupacabras (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chupacabra) invading the Earth too? They'll mostly invade Asian countries (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goat_farming), tho.go to area 51. also acquire Putin's phone no..
Genericville is American city, calling Putin to deal with it will cause WWIII. Do you wish to start World War Three, yes or no?
He's war, he gains strength from conflict and tries to start it wherever he goes.
Zerg and Protoss are always nice, but how 'bout some Inter-dimensional Chupacabras (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chupacabra) invading the Earth too? They'll mostly invade Asian countries (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goat_farming), tho.go to area 51. also acquire Putin's phone no..
Genericville is American city, calling Putin to deal with it will cause WWIII. Do you wish to start World War Three, yes or no?
He's war, he gains strength from conflict and tries to start it wherever he goes.
I really dislike Putin despite being Russian, okay? Let's not bring the politics into this RTD, they give me a headache...
((HE TALKING ABOUT GWOLFSKI'S CHARACTER YOU SILLY NUGGET, IS APOCALYPSE HORSEMAN))He's war, he gains strength from conflict and tries to start it wherever he goes.
I really dislike Putin despite being Russian, okay? Let's not bring the politics into this RTD, they give me a headache...
"Okay, my house is missing.Is this said in an incredulous voice, or a bored one? Considering this game, I can't tell.
"Okay, my house is missing.Is this said in an incredulous voice, or a bored one? Considering this game, I can't tell.
Set the military to work on getting rid of the (alien) problem, and have War help with that.
Continue work on the laser.
Have Giraffian scientists working on figuring out where we are, and the Giraffian military also work on getting rid of the (aliens).
Zerg and Protoss are always nice, but how 'bout some Inter-dimensional Chupacabras (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chupacabra) invading the Earth too?
In that case eat the ghosts absorbs their powers.
Fly up to the sky and destroy whatever's threatening to destroy world and my cathedral.
The Warp Portal keeps pouring more and more infantry and land vehicles, but suddenly, it became unstable. The Warp Portal creates lightning-like sounds, and the troops stopped pouring out of it. "Sorcerers, why troops stopped coming out of this portal," asked Eliphas. Then he looked at the sky,(I didn't say that the US troops were routed, just that they were being held off by your artillery.)
and he realized that the Earth was sucked into The Void, somehow. "Sorcerers! Half of you will help Goatsby, and the other half will try to keep the portal stable! We need to get the Earth out of The Void, or we'll lose our reinforcements," said Eliphas to Chaos Sorcerers. Then Eliphas ordered his army to start looting the city for milk. Malls, supermarkets, groceries stores, or even just markets, all must be looted for the milk! Meanwhile, reinforcements have hunted down routing US troops and killed them all. The temporary alliance between Hell Bovines and Chaos Forces has been established.
Give out the orders above.
Order to Nurglite Sorcerer to keep trying to control the giant zombie knight.
Order to Fellblades to roll over the shocked metal fans, then charge at both Milkdrinker and Spacelaser along with my Terminators, and rip their heads off!
Note: Chaos' reinforcements will be under the control of Fatio. Use them wisely, Fatio.
POINT OUT GOATSBY AND HIS CREW AS THE SOURCE OF THIS UNPLEASANT INTERRUPTION, FANS WILL DOUBTLESS ENTER A BLOODY RAGEGoatsby's +2 came from the Sorcerers rolling a 5 to assist him. You succeeded at distracting him while they got another 5, so now it will be a +1.
WHILST SOUND GUY ATTEMPTS TO GET THINGS UNDER CONTROL, LOB THE EMPTY MUG FROM MY HOT CHOCOLATE AT GOATSBY TO DISTRACT HIM, HOPEFULLY AT THE VERY LEAST REMOVING HIS +2 AND/OR LEAVING HIM MORE VULNERABLE TO ATTACK BY CROWD...
PREPARE UKULELE TO UNLEASH A FRESH BARRAGE OF RIFFS AS SOON AS SOUND FIXED, TO MAKE UP FOR THIS VILE NOISE
SPACELASER AND I SHALL ALSO FEND OFF ANY ATTACKS ON OUR PERSONS, OF COURSE, USING MY HANDS-FREE KICKING TECHNIQUE THAT WORKED SO WELL EARLIER, AND WITH HELP FROM MY BAT ALLIES WHO FILL THE CAVES AROUND US.
"HEY, SORCERERS! HELP ME OUT HERE!"(Goatsby summoning Ouroboros)4+1
THE GREAT GOATSBY attempts to summon a colossal ouroboros (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/magical-beasts/ouroboros/) to aid the forces of Chaos
"I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW WHAT"
Am I still bound by contract to help ATHATH? Jaunt over to the White House and attempt to destroy the anti-doom mug laser. If this breaks my contract...
Find a cheap roadside motel, somewhere nobody can find me. Go to the local drug store, get a prescription for my constant headaches. Buy a small bottle of whiskey and a cheap paperback novel. Read the book, drink the whiskey, then take every last pill and lay down with a smile.
"I'll be joining you soon, brother in arms."
"I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW WHAT"Is this a statement of suicidal intent, because it really sounds like one. Hell's lawyers are already working on the breaking of your contact, they are the masters of theses kinds of contracts, they can definatly break them.
Am I still bound by contract to help ATHATH? Jaunt over to the White House and attempt to destroy the anti-doom mug laser. If this breaks my contract...
Find a cheap roadside motel, somewhere nobody can find me. Go to the local drug store, get a prescription for my constant headaches. Buy a small bottle of whiskey and a cheap paperback novel. Read the book, drink the whiskey, then take every last pill and lay down with a smile.
"I'll be joining you soon, brother in arms."
"Ring Ring Ring" "Yes... Gabriel! What! Certainly,I'll take the job." "What was it" "Have you ever seen it's a wonderful life?" "...Briliant" "Can we do this?" "I think so" "By the power of Heaven and Hell, we split to cover both our duties!
Angelo and Diablo split. Diablo continues the previous actions and Angelo flys down to earth on wings of fire, spreading good cheer and happiness like a badass Santa Clause to preform his mission, to prevent a man from throwing away the gift given to him by god, his life.
CONTINUE ANTI-NEO-DOOM-MUG ACTIONS
((@ATHATH: I actually lol'ed at that meme.))
I must go.
Uttering a prayer to the Emperor, attempt to teleport through the warp to the nearest Imperium held planet.
Or, if I can use the webway, ask an Eldar to guide me. Because I am no psyker and that would be WAAAAAYYYYYY safer.
Would be funny if this accidentally turned into Emprahsque and Milk, where everyone was Primarchs and we screwed around in the Wh 40kverse.
go to area 51. also acquire the Russian leader's phone no..(I thought about making the Russian leader Rasputin to avoid real political arguments in the thread and had it posted that way at first, but I guess it should be Putin.)
Calibrate the cloning machines to clone cows. Rebuild ye mighty cow armies of Moo.
"Okay, my house is missing. Maybe my barbecue machine survived, though." Look for that. And party supplies.
"#>>%?}Ł?#€!#€?#€,|€?#€,{Ł,\€Ł\>Ą}[%==~\_>€••€<\]}%+=Ł" "That is a lot of profanity, it is though, well deserved"
Use the power of Negative Magic to return the earth and moon to their regular positions in our world, leaving the Doom Mug in The Void, where it very Memory, shall disappear.
EDIT: Leave ATHATH in The Void as well.
Protect the mug.(I think I should let ATHATH attempt to protect his Mug this time, since I let Gulliman hit back when Johiah was absent and this includes an attempt to abandon him.)
((Be careful, tho: Chupacabras have ability to teleport and they're also naturally-born with psychic abilities in this universe!))I disagree.
I may just have to correct that.((Be careful, tho: Chupacabras have ability to teleport and they're also naturally-born with psychic abilities in this universe!))I disagree.
I'm not sure that you understand: I am disagreeing that they have those powers. I refuse to allow them to have those powers. They simply do not. CABL failed to ever state that they had these powers prior to their arrival; as such, they cannot have these powers. They are perfectly normal chupacabras without these special powers.I may just have to correct that.((Be careful, tho: Chupacabras have ability to teleport and they're also naturally-born with psychic abilities in this universe!))I disagree.
Meanwhile Belphegor notices some creature missing form his zoo and sends Leviathan to investigate.[/b]You may want to explain who these are...
I'm not sure that you understand: I am disagreeing that they have those powers. I refuse to allow them to have those powers. They simply do not. CABL failed to ever state that they had these powers prior to their arrival; as such, they cannot have these powers. They are perfectly normal chupacabras without these special powers.I may just have to correct that.((Be careful, tho: Chupacabras have ability to teleport and they're also naturally-born with psychic abilities in this universe!))I disagree.
Meanwhile Belphegor notices some creature missing form his zoo and sends Leviathan to investigate.[/b]You may want to explain who these are...
What on Earth are normal chupacabras?I'm not sure that you understand: I am disagreeing that they have those powers. I refuse to allow them to have those powers. They simply do not. CABL failed to ever state that they had these powers prior to their arrival; as such, they cannot have these powers. They are perfectly normal chupacabras without these special powers.I may just have to correct that.((Be careful, tho: Chupacabras have ability to teleport and they're also naturally-born with psychic abilities in this universe!))I disagree.
dog-like, reptillian, two legged, hairless, goat eating, livestock vampire from Mexican folklore.What on Earth are normal chupacabras?I'm not sure that you understand: I am disagreeing that they have those powers. I refuse to allow them to have those powers. They simply do not. CABL failed to ever state that they had these powers prior to their arrival; as such, they cannot have these powers. They are perfectly normal chupacabras without these special powers.I may just have to correct that.((Be careful, tho: Chupacabras have ability to teleport and they're also naturally-born with psychic abilities in this universe!))I disagree.
They're trying to take their government back! Destroy them!What on Earth are normal chupacabras?dog-like, reptillian, two legged, hairless, goat eating, livestock vampire from Mexican folklore.
Aghh so many sigh able things.They're trying to take their government back! Destroy them!What on Earth are normal chupacabras?dog-like, reptillian, two legged, hairless, goat eating, livestock vampire from Mexican folklore.
((Remember, you have some Chaos dudes under Fatio's command))shifts eyes side to side
((BTW, I saw someone on Ludeon forums (Rimworld developer) called "johiah". Johiah, are you playing Rimworld too?))
((WHO NOT PLAYING RIMWORLD THESE DAYS?))What's Rimworld?
((WHO NOT PLAYING RIMWORLD THESE DAYS?))What's Rimworld?
Yeah it focuses more on individual characters. I want to play DF. Still don't. Fortress mode confusing.((WHO NOT PLAYING RIMWORLD THESE DAYS?))What's Rimworld?
((Basically Dorf Fortress in space. (http://store.steampowered.com/app/294100/RimWorld/) Not as complex as DF, but still quite good, you might like it.))
Then do adventure mode, it has all the gore with half the complexity.It only took one dying of thirst to figure that one out!
Which is, granted, still complex, but manageable once you learn how to fill a waterskin.
Name: The One Majestic Flying WhaleHello, sentient flying whale? Might you be an ambassador from your kind? If so, we, the Giraffe Overmind, would be interested in pursuing an alliance!
Description: The name speaks for itself. One great whale in the midst of others. Just your ordinary majestic flying whale.
Why do you want milk? Milk is so rich and delectable, and if harvested from the correct source (the great Mother Whale) it can lead to glorious new purpose.
Fly through the sky, mind own business looking for some milk
Has the white house been through that one scene in independence day yet?Name: The One Majestic Flying WhaleHello, sentient flying whale? Might you be an ambassador from your kind? If so, we, the Giraffe Overmind, would be interested in pursuing an alliance!
Description: The name speaks for itself. One great whale in the midst of others. Just your ordinary majestic flying whale.
Why do you want milk? Milk is so rich and delectable, and if harvested from the correct source (the great Mother Whale) it can lead to glorious new purpose.
Fly through the sky, mind own business looking for some milk
No. There are no city-sized flying saucers.Has the white house been through that one scene in independence day yet?Name: The One Majestic Flying WhaleHello, sentient flying whale? Might you be an ambassador from your kind? If so, we, the Giraffe Overmind, would be interested in pursuing an alliance!
Description: The name speaks for itself. One great whale in the midst of others. Just your ordinary majestic flying whale.
Why do you want milk? Milk is so rich and delectable, and if harvested from the correct source (the great Mother Whale) it can lead to glorious new purpose.
Fly through the sky, mind own business looking for some milk
Ah but there is Saitama, if he gets accepted.No. There are no city-sized flying saucers.Has the white house been through that one scene in independence day yet?Name: The One Majestic Flying WhaleHello, sentient flying whale? Might you be an ambassador from your kind? If so, we, the Giraffe Overmind, would be interested in pursuing an alliance!
Description: The name speaks for itself. One great whale in the midst of others. Just your ordinary majestic flying whale.
Why do you want milk? Milk is so rich and delectable, and if harvested from the correct source (the great Mother Whale) it can lead to glorious new purpose.
Fly through the sky, mind own business looking for some milk
But he will be a friendly whale. And a whale is just an aquatic giraffe, give or take a few hundred generations, and a flying whale is just an aerial aquatic giraffe.Ah but there is Saitama, if he gets accepted.No. There are no city-sized flying saucers.Has the white house been through that one scene in independence day yet?Name: The One Majestic Flying WhaleHello, sentient flying whale? Might you be an ambassador from your kind? If so, we, the Giraffe Overmind, would be interested in pursuing an alliance!
Description: The name speaks for itself. One great whale in the midst of others. Just your ordinary majestic flying whale.
Why do you want milk? Milk is so rich and delectable, and if harvested from the correct source (the great Mother Whale) it can lead to glorious new purpose.
Fly through the sky, mind own business looking for some milk
Whales and bovines as one? Pray that jaguar and domesticated cats can help?But he will be a friendly whale. And a whale is just an aquatic giraffe, give or take a few hundred generations, and a flying whale is just an aerial aquatic giraffe.Ah but there is Saitama, if he gets accepted.No. There are no city-sized flying saucers.Has the white house been through that one scene in independence day yet?Name: The One Majestic Flying WhaleHello, sentient flying whale? Might you be an ambassador from your kind? If so, we, the Giraffe Overmind, would be interested in pursuing an alliance!
Description: The name speaks for itself. One great whale in the midst of others. Just your ordinary majestic flying whale.
Why do you want milk? Milk is so rich and delectable, and if harvested from the correct source (the great Mother Whale) it can lead to glorious new purpose.
Fly through the sky, mind own business looking for some milk
Give substantial bonuses to anyone willing to put in extra work on the laser, so as to speed up construction and such.
Remove the Chupacabras with military force. (damnit CABL)
The scientists of Giraffia begin work on Dimensional Shielding devices, so as to prevent any of us from ever being forced into a hostile dimension ever again.
Banish all who wish to stop or slow the approach of the NEOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUG to some nightmarish dimension of DOOOOOOM or something. Also, hasten the approach of the NEOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOM MUUUUUUG.(I'm not going to let you just attack every player in the world who acts against you, but I'll let you interfere with the most potentially successful effort.)
Hurl a powerful milk-spear at the mug.
"BEHOLD! GAZE UPON THE ETERNAL SERPENT, AND DESPAIR! THE MOST POWERFUL CREATURE OF CHAOS, OUROBOROS!"
THE GREAT GOATSBYbleatslaughs maniacally. With the Eternal Serpent flying above, he knows victory is certain.
COMMAND OUROBOROS TO STRIKE ANY NEARBY ENEMIES MAD WITH THE SIGHT OF IT'S ETERNAL SELF-CONSUMPTION. ATTEMPT TO FORCE THE EARTH OUT OF THE VOID WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF THE SORCERERS SO THAT REINFORCEMENTS WILL FLOW FROM THE PORTAL ONCE MORE.
"Stealth squad, prepare to take out the enemy general! Main army, retreat towards the portal and prepare for the attack," said Eliphas to his troops via the vox-caster. After giving the orders, Eliphas goes for the guy who repaired the sound.
Give out the orders above, then go and kill the audio guy.
Order to the Fellblades to use their flamers to burn the angry crowd to ash, then send Terminators after Milkdrinker.
When the military will attack us, Nurglite Sorcerer shall send Ithadtam in the front to take all enemy fire on himself.
((Stealth squad has cloak device and sniper rifles.))
FROM WITHIN EXHIBIT I WAS THROWN INTO, HAMMER OUT ANOTHER BEASTLY BLACKENED-DEATH METAL RIFF AND INSPIRE THESE "EXOTIC" FRUIT BATS TO DO BATTLE SAME AS I DID THE OTHERS
HAVE MY COMBINED BAT-FORCE SWARM ELIPHAS, PLUCKING HIM OFF STAGE INTO AIR AND DROPPING HIM INTO ENCLOSURE OF ALLIGATORS/CROCODILES/OTHER DANGEROUS CREATURE, WHILST I AD-LIB SOME TERRIFYING LINES ABOUT THE WEAK BEING RENDED APART BY THE FANGS OF THE SCALED ONES OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES
MEANWHILE, SPACELASER WILL ALSO CONTINUE PLAYING, HOPEFULLY STAYING IN TIME WITH ME, AS WELL AS ENCOURAGING THE CROWD. IF MORE ENEMIES ATTEMPT TO GAIN ENTRY TO STAGE, HE WILL KNOCK OVER STACK OF AMPS TO CRUSH THEM.
SOUND GUY WILL ATTEMPT TO INCREASE OUR VOLUME SOMEHOW, TO DRAW IN A LARGER FORCE OF METALHEADS FROM ACROSS ALL OF GENERICVILLE. HELL, ANYONE NOT ALREADY DEAD WILL PROBABLY COME SEE WHAT THE NOISE IS, AT WHICH POINT THEY CONVERTED TO METALHEADS BY THE IRRESISTIBLE POWER OF BLACKENED UKULELE METAL, TOO
Meanwhile Belphegor notices some creature missing form his zoo and sends Leviathan to investigate(Get ready to get what's coming to your Goatsby).
Drive, not fly, to Area 51. Acquire giant laser.
Call Russian, inform of death mug and propose nuking it.
"Hail, comrade. I regret to inform that the glorious Russian Motherland is uhder threat from a dirty capitalist pig device. May I humbly suggest that you strap some nukes to a rocket and fire it at the Doom Mug? Thank you, comrade"
Use my War powers to persuade him to do so.
Let the key under a plant, text Oichi with it's location and use Telekinesis to fly towards Genericville. Now that I have powers and not only a magical I actually have a chance to save the city.
!!SCIENCE!!Y ANTI-NEO-DOOM-MUG ACTION!!!
Groan. Materialize a suit of magic-proof battle armor, as well as a portal that can warp beings from other dimensions into this dimension.point out to GM that my thugs should still be shooting at the Chaos guys since they were never explicitly stated to be dead
Go rob a store(A lot of 1s today.)
Welp. Ok, what weapons do I have. Is the Emperor near? Can I get weapons from nearby? Dying after just waking up sounds terrible.
Recruit the dinosaurs into the army by offering them the blood of our enemies
Use my Magicks to stop the mugapocalypse.
Name: Saitama
Description: The True one punch man
Why do you want milk? It's on sale.
Name: The One Majestic Flying Whale
Description: The name speaks for itself. One great whale in the midst of others. Just your ordinary majestic flying whale.
Why do you want milk? Milk is so rich and delectable, and if harvested from the correct source (the great Mother Whale) it can lead to glorious new purpose.
Fly through the sky, mind own business looking for some milk
"Can't keep this split going much longer" "Agreed, time to get back together" "As our duties are said and done, we shall use our power to once again become one."
Angelo and Diablo re-fuse and begin the plan once more, send earth and us back to our dimension.
Summon the four horsemen of the milkpocalypse.
Shouldn't the copyright on them have expired by now?Summon the four horsemen of the milkpocalypse.
BOOM LAWSUIT, Hell now has a case against you for COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT. If there is anything in hell more evil then the seven princes, its the lawyers. GET READY TO SUFFUR!!!!!
What did I say about Hell's lawyers, they would never let a copyright expire. It would mean missing out on a chance to try someone for copyright infringement.Shouldn't the copyright on them have expired by now?Summon the four horsemen of the milkpocalypse.
BOOM LAWSUIT, Hell now has a case against you for COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT. If there is anything in hell more evil then the seven princes, its the lawyers. GET READY TO SUFFUR!!!!!
Screw it, just turn the mug into milky rain.
Saitama
Throw pebble at the mug if that fails proceed to the white house using the hero status to get inside the gate
The situation is critical: The forces of Chaos were driven back to the ruins of the city hall, and after the Earth was transported to the Food Dimension, The Warp Portal had closed, despite sorcerers' best attempts to keep it working. Eliphas has been lifted by Milkdrinker's bats and thrown in the zoo's gharial pit. Eliphas tries to get out from the pit and help his warriors to drive the US military back. Meanwhile, Dark Apostle Anak arranged even bigger army, and sent it to fully occupate New Hampshire.
Get out of the pit and order the Fellblades to help the Chaos' army to hold against the Americans.
Rip and tear through American infantry, inspiring Word Bearers to fight with greater fury. If the Americans are successfully defeated, pursue them and destroy each one of them.
If the Americans are defeated, send all of the Sorcerers, excluding Nurgle-worshipping one, to cast an immobilizing spell on the metalheads.
Well, Anak also will try to defeat local military too, so give him action, GM.
Command Ouroboros to ram into the crowd and try to devour as many metalheads as it can in the process, hopefully absorbing them into it's body as increased length a la Snake (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_(video_game)). Summon tons of levitating giant spears of animal bones and launch them at the enemy like a salvo of missiles.
Use Twitter to call a crusade against Chaos. Then search for French ghost obviously you need power.
Well, guess it's time to go home and research how to make a milk shake.
*groans*
Remove the Chupacabra problem.
Recover the laser.
Develop a system for moving through the multiverse in a more controllable manner.
Launch all Area 51 space weaponry at the Mug.
Go to the storage area, gather all element 115 available and stow it in my van.
"Ugh. Must have zoned out. Anyways. It seems that the party supplies didn't survive the demise of my house.
Eh, I have insurance. Now then. There's milk for anybody who wants it. Now, I'm going to go blow all my life's savings on party supplies and booze. I'll be back."
Mr. Smith(or whatever this guy's name is) goes to blow all of his life's savings(or most of them) on party supplies(music, food, dessert, drinks, tables, costumes, cutlery, board games, card games, karaoke booth, barbecue supplies, whatnot) and booze, then drives back to his house with the supplies.
GET THE CHAINSWOOOOORD.
Also, protect the people with me. We need to group up with wherever the main force is.
And call the Emperor, I need help.
Blame Disney.
more sciencey anti-neo-doom-mug action
Tell the Chaos Detachment Brigade to stand by for now.
Rebuild the cloning devices
Groan again. Take a stroll in search if a nearby bookstore that specializes in the occult. Look for a conjuration manual or something like that. If successful, try again to get the armor. If not, just return to the motel.
Continue my goal of sending earth back where it belongs and leaving ATHATH and the doom mug behind.
Summon the four horsemen of the milkpocalypse. Send them to disrupt all anti-NEOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG actions (preferably as individuals rather than one group that can only do one thing at a time).
Also, hasten the approach of the NEOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG.
TURN 27Already sent back the moon."#>>%?}Ł?#€!#€?#€,|€?#€,{Ł,\€Ł\>Ą}[%==~\_>€••€<\]}%+=Ł" "That is a lot of profanity, it is though, well deserved"
Use the power of Negative Magic to return the earth and moon to their regular positions in our world, leaving the Doom Mug in The Void, where it very Memory, shall disappear.
EDIT: Leave ATHATH in The Void as well.Quote from: Auto ATHATHProtect the mug.(I think I should let ATHATH attempt to protect his Mug this time, since I let Gulliman hit back when Johiah was absent and this includes an attempt to abandon him.)
(Change dimensions)4vs5
You try to change dimensions, but ATHATH flies over and grapples you before you can cast your spell. You are able to send back the Moon, at least.
Combine most of the element 115 and the tech to form better tech. Attack Doom Mug.Doom Mug is in an alternate dimension.
Call Richthofen and ask him whether he wants to be a horseman of the apocalypse.
ok ill change my action.,Combine most of the element 115 and the tech to form better tech. Attack Doom Mug.Doom Mug is in an alternate dimension.
Call Richthofen and ask him whether he wants to be a horseman of the apocalypse.
Grab wallet and lose change and head to super market.
Develop working dimensional shielding to prevent any and all teleportation between universes within a mile of the Earth's surface.
Get rid of those damned Chupacabras already.
Accept all the help we can get.
Press for an international ban of the use of magic or mad science on milk, to prevent any more of these atrocities.
Some facts about demons.
Mammon: Demon of greed, currently waiting for ATHATH's arrival so he can be tried.
Asmodeus: Demon of lust, currently in Vegas, snorting cocaine off the bodies of prostitutes.
Belphegor: Demon of sloth, currently working on magic AMP Mech (That will try to kill Goatsby) to hack into Goatsby's magic and send that instead of whatever he is trying to summon.
Beelzebub: Demon of gluttony, currently preparing to be the Judge in ATHATH's trial.
Leviathan: Demon of envy, currently trying to find and kill Goatsby.
Lucifer/Satan: Demon of pride/wrath, currently splitting his consciousness so he may both attend the MILKDRINKER concert and work as the prosecuting attorney for ATHATH's trial.
The demons don't like you, and are currently enjoying themselves if they aren't preparing to SUE YOUR ASS (and the rest of you).
"HA HA HA" "Whats so funny?" "The jackass who keeps trying to destroy the world just got called in to my place for trial" "If I didn't hate him in a totally holy and righteous way I would feel sorry for him, your trials are evil." "So is everything else we do"
Fly down and land in Shoreham N.Y., then begin moving towards Nikola Tesla's lab, I have something important to do.
Spoiler: Secret Action (click to show/hide)
Saitama
Inquire about ways to help the Giraffedictatorshipdemocracy,probably by forming a new moon out of something, like the doom mug if it's still on this earth.probably by stopping the war out in the middle of the streets of a town named genericville, first starting with the band MilkDrinker, help them out by thinning out their opposition, if that's possible at this point
Chaos Marines cheer as the weak American troops run away to regroup. "Artillery, fire at those maggots," screamed Eliphas to the Chaos Basilisks. "Word Bearers, rejoice! Terra is back at it's place! But we need more Fellblades to drive the Americans out of our city. Sorcerers, re-establish the warp portal and help Goatsby," ordered Eliphas to his Chaos Sorcerers. Meanwhile, Chaos aircraft arrived to fight for the air superiority...
Give out the orders above, Chaos will go into counter-charge after sorcerers summon more Fellblades.
Go to the concert along with zombie Ithadtam* and protect Goatsby from the metalhead crowd.
If I successfully protect Goatsby from the crowd, go and join the counter-attack against the Americans.
*Ithadtam will barf rot at the crowd if I fail to do so.
Note: Chaos aircraft vs American aircraft should be a separate roll.
CROWDSURF MY WAY OUT FROM THE STAGE AND TOWARDS GOATSBY
SHRIEK THE FOLLOWING AT HIM DURING OMINOUS ATMOSPHERIC LULL IN CURRENT SONG:
"HOUSEMATE GOATSBY! YOUR SORCEROUS TALENTS ARE WASTED SERVING THESE PITIFUL LARP-LOVING NERDS! SATAN PROPERLY REWARDS HIS FOLLOWERS! HAVE YOU SEEN THE DEVASTATION OUR BLACKENED UKULELE METAL HAS WROUGHT IN HIS NAME, WITH HIS BLESSING? JOIN ME, OR DIE WITHOUT EVER HAVING KNOWN TRUE POWER!"
IF GOATSBY AGREES TO CHANGE SIDES: DROP FROM MY PLACE ATOP THE CROWD, HAND GOATSBY MY UKULELE OF UNHOLY MIGHT (THUS INITIATING HIM INTO OUR NEW 3-PIECE BAND) AND TAKE A FIRM GRIP ON MY MICROPHONE TO FOCUS ON VOCALS FOR THE NEXT VERSE, WHICH SHALL AIM TO WHIP MY BELOVED FANS INTO EVEN MORE OF A FRENZY WHILST ALSO CALLING UPON OUR LORD SATAN TO HELP US CRUSH THESE CHAOS POSERS ONCE AND FOR ALL
LEAD THE CHARGE AT THAT ELIPHAS DUDE AND WHATEVER NEW BUDDIES HE HAS HAND-WAVED IN THIS TURN, SCREAMING MY RAGE INTO THE MICROPHONE AFTER I TEAR THEM APART WITH MY CLAWS (WHICH WILL SOMEHOW BE BURSTING OUT OF THE TWISTED FLESH WHERE MY HANDS WERE PREVIOUSLY, BECAUSE WELL, WHY NOT? SEEMS APPROPRIATE)
IF GOATSBY CONTINUES TO MISGUIDEDLY SERVE THESE CHAOS WEAKLINGS: BEHEAD HIM WITH MY UKULELE JUST AS SPACELASER CARVES OUT A FRESH BARRAGE OF BRUTAL RIFFAGE, POSSIBLY CHANNELLING THE POWER OF METAL INTO THE INSTRUMENT TO STRENGTHEN IT AS I STRIKE
IF IT BREAKS ON IMPACT, WELL, JUST GRAB THE STRINGS, TACKLE GOATSBY FROM MY CROWD-SURF POSITION AND STRANGLE HIM HORRIBLY TO DEATH WITH THEM, THAT PROBABLY BE EVEN COOLER REALLY
>SOUND GUY: WAKE THE FUCK UP AND MAKE SURE ALL THIS BRUTALITY SOUNDS AS BADASS AND EAR-CRUSHINGLY LOUD AS POSSIBLE
"I SERVE NOBODY BUT MYSELF. DO NOT PRESUME THAT I WILL REMAIN CONTENT WITH MY POSITION AS A SORCERER... I'M GOING TO CLIMB EVEN FURTHER, MILKDRINKER! A GREAT MANY CRUEL FATES WORSE THAN ANY FORM OF DEATH LIE IN STORE FOR THOSE WHO OPPOSE ME- STARTING WITH YOU!
FUCK SUMMONING, THIS SHIT IS PERSONAL NOW. CALL UPON MY POWERS AS A GOD OF BEASTS TO CHANNEL THE IMMENSE STRENGTH OF THE TARRASQUE (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarrasque_(Dungeons_%26_Dragons)), A TITANIC BEAST OF MAGIC, AND UNLEASH AN OBLITERATING COMBO OF PHYSICAL ATTACKS UPON MILKDRINKER.
Ask Napoleon if he accept to team up to destroy the chaos menace.
Use Skype to observe the attack of the Crusaders to the chaos army.
Conjure a giant, but empty, suit of very heavy armor. Aim for about the size of a house.
Return to my cathedral, raise more milk monsters.
"Bloody heck. It's the end of the world! Bloody well move!" Kick the car engine, let's se if that works.
Combine most of the element 115 and the tech to form better tech. [Attack Doom Mug[ if in same dimention(Based on the references to Element 115, I'm assuming you mean this Richtofen (http://callofduty.wikia.com/wiki/Edward_Richtofen), not the Red Baron. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manfred_von_Richthofen)
Call Richthofen and ask him whether he wants to be a horseman of the apocalypse.
Acquire Dinosaur Milk, ignoring the fact that dinosaurs aren't even mammals.
Yeah. I tried to find my own way since you left me on the Eldar craftworld. What on Terra were those creatures?
Look around for a guardsman, commissar, or space marine to fawn these unfortunates that tailed along onto.
@ star2wars3Please refrain from doing so, star2wars3.
Would you to cooperate against the American unbelievers, and destroy them together?
Conjure a 10 foot long spear, along with a rectangular shield the length of two school buses and the width of a house.take said spear from him as he tries to conjure it, and poke him in the eye till he releases the next turn for his own RTD.
Tell us from whence you came, interloper!Conjure a 10 foot long spear, along with a rectangular shield the length of two school buses and the width of a house.take said spear from him as he tries to conjure it, and poke him in the eye till he releases the next turn for his own RTD.
"A different dimension full of non-eucalidian milk!"Tell us from whence you came, interloper!Conjure a 10 foot long spear, along with a rectangular shield the length of two school buses and the width of a house.take said spear from him as he tries to conjure it, and poke him in the eye till he releases the next turn for his own RTD.
Hmm. Very well, carry on then."A different dimension full of non-eucalidian milk!"Tell us from whence you came, interloper!Conjure a 10 foot long spear, along with a rectangular shield the length of two school buses and the width of a house.take said spear from him as he tries to conjure it, and poke him in the eye till he releases the next turn for his own RTD.
Joke's on you, because you haven't even chosen a name yetConjure a 10 foot long spear, along with a rectangular shield the length of two school buses and the width of a house.take said spear from him as he tries to conjure it, and poke him in the eye till he releases the next turn for his own RTD.
Jokes back on you, I don't really need one because my username fits almost anywhere.Joke's on you, because you haven't even chosen a name yetConjure a 10 foot long spear, along with a rectangular shield the length of two school buses and the width of a house.take said spear from him as he tries to conjure it, and poke him in the eye till he releases the next turn for his own RTD.
Wait. I thought you worked for Fulgrim. Why are Khornate beserkers helping a follower of slaanesh?
Joke's back on you because I'm lazy and it'll probably take me another 2 days to finish the updateJokes back on you, I don't really need one because my username fits almost anywhere.Joke's on you, because you haven't even chosen a name yetConjure a 10 foot long spear, along with a rectangular shield the length of two school buses and the width of a house.take said spear from him as he tries to conjure it, and poke him in the eye till he releases the next turn for his own RTD.
(Edit: the RTD in question is RTKEOAES, which stands for "roll to kill eachother and enemies")
jokes on you, I'll join it and pester you tooJoke's back on you because I'm lazy and it'll probably take me another 2 days to finish the updateJokes back on you, I don't really need one because my username fits almost anywhere.Joke's on you, because you haven't even chosen a name yetConjure a 10 foot long spear, along with a rectangular shield the length of two school buses and the width of a house.take said spear from him as he tries to conjure it, and poke him in the eye till he releases the next turn for his own RTD.
(Edit: the RTD in question is RTKEOAES, which stands for "roll to kill eachother and enemies")
Jokes on both of you, I tricked you into making a quote pyramid.ok.
All fun aside, let's not get this thread killed, please?
@Dustan HacheSure, I'll be famine. I get powers related to it, right?
Hey, while your here, want to join? We are trying to get the four horsemen of the apocalypse, war and death are taken but you could play as pestilence or famine.
@Dustan HacheSure, I'll be famine. I get powers related to it, right?
Hey, while your here, want to join? We are trying to get the four horsemen of the apocalypse, war and death are taken but you could play as pestilence or famine.
In case you were wondering, no, you're not getting hired as the Secretary of Agriculture. I just wanted to make that clear.@Dustan HacheSure, I'll be famine. I get powers related to it, right?
Hey, while your here, want to join? We are trying to get the four horsemen of the apocalypse, war and death are taken but you could play as pestilence or famine.
Who's secretary of Defense?In case you were wondering, no, you're not getting hired as the Secretary of Agriculture. I just wanted to make that clear.@Dustan HacheSure, I'll be famine. I get powers related to it, right?
Hey, while your here, want to join? We are trying to get the four horsemen of the apocalypse, war and death are taken but you could play as pestilence or famine.
War.Who's secretary of Defense?In case you were wondering, no, you're not getting hired as the Secretary of Agriculture. I just wanted to make that clear.@Dustan HacheSure, I'll be famine. I get powers related to it, right?
Hey, while your here, want to join? We are trying to get the four horsemen of the apocalypse, war and death are taken but you could play as pestilence or famine.
That's because the Secretary of Defence is about the military. The Secretary of Agriculture, however, is not about depriving the people of food, they are about making sure that the farmers and grocers are all doing their jobs.War.Who's secretary of Defense?In case you were wondering, no, you're not getting hired as the Secretary of Agriculture. I just wanted to make that clear.@Dustan HacheSure, I'll be famine. I get powers related to it, right?
Hey, while your here, want to join? We are trying to get the four horsemen of the apocalypse, war and death are taken but you could play as pestilence or famine.
Stop with the quote pyramids. It's taking up perfectly good farmland that I intend to ruin.And that is why you can't be secretary of agriculture.
And that is why you can't be secretary of agriculture.I never said that I wanted to be secretary of anything, I just asked if I had powers that related to my role.
Also has the doom mug handle caused mount Rushmore to be Volcanically Active?
have I said how boned we are? I've not...well we're boned.Also has the doom mug handle caused mount Rushmore to be Volcanically Active?
Sure, why not.
have I said how boned we are? I've not...well we're boned.Also has the doom mug handle caused mount Rushmore to be Volcanically Active?
Sure, why not.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'll say this then end the quote pyramid.have I said how boned we are? I've not...well we're boned.Also has the doom mug handle caused mount Rushmore to be Volcanically Active?
Sure, why not.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'll just fix it... again. Diablo's incharge so I can say this in character Damn It I deserve a trophy, or a key to the city or something. Total subservience of all world leaders would work.
We've already made an agreement on this, actually; when we restarts the timeline, we get independence and ownership of all of Africa. We'll be able to quickly dominate the world by virtue of our superior political skills.I'll say this then end the quote pyramid.have I said how boned we are? I've not...well we're boned.Also has the doom mug handle caused mount Rushmore to be Volcanically Active?
Sure, why not.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'll just fix it... again. Diablo's incharge so I can say this in character Damn It I deserve a trophy, or a key to the city or something. Total subservience of all world leaders would work.
You have to get through the hivemind of garaffia
However with power over Heaven and Hell, they may be kings, but I'll be a deity.We've already made an agreement on this, actually; when we restarts the timeline, we get independence and ownership of all of Africa. We'll be able to quickly dominate the world by virtue of our superior political skills.I'll say this then end the quote pyramid.have I said how boned we are? I've not...well we're boned.Also has the doom mug handle caused mount Rushmore to be Volcanically Active?
Sure, why not.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'll just fix it... again. Diablo's incharge so I can say this in character Damn It I deserve a trophy, or a key to the city or something. Total subservience of all world leaders would work.
You have to get through the hivemind of garaffia
You're planning to reset time?He has plans for it in case he thinks it would be beneficial and/or useful.
You're planning to reset time?With the essential elements of Good, Evil, Chaos, Order, Water, Fire, Earth, Air, and Time Machine. All are in abundance.
You missed one. I fixed it.I think you misspelled a few words, I corrected it for you.You're planning to reset time?With the essential elements of Milk, Milk, Milk, Milk, Milk, Milk, Milk, Milk, and milk. All are in abundance.
Give my human followers reward of godly milk for coming to the cathedral.
Accept and start a seanse to summon all ghost loyal to Napoleon.
Keep checking the crusaders progress.
Wow they really screwed up the Imperium while we were out. Anyways, where do you need me most? Also the, ah, giant body is rather unnerving. How did you come about obtaining it?
Ask the Emperor the above. If some Ultra marines or space marines in general are nearby, request the commissioning of a power armor for me.
Make Dinosaur Milk Cheese.
GET RID OF THE CHUPACABRAS!
Attempt to contact Rogue Traders and buy their services, because why not.
Start gathering video, picture, etc. evidence that other countries are ruled by the Reptilians, primarily with the services of SolidSnakeGiraffe (you remember them, right?).
Go check on War and One-Punch Guy, make sure that we actually know what it is that they're working on.
EDITS:
Get One-Punch Guy to fight the Chupacabras.
Close that portal.
If it looks like Chaos will win the city, make a tactical retreat; better to lose the city than to lose a large segment of the Army and the city.
Saitama
Try once again to thin out the crowd of chaos, people are dying and you really want a challenge, If th at fails, go for the Chupacabras, the President's executive order should be followed.
Go to the art museum, pick up an audio tour and follow the tour
More Chaos infantry and vehicles go through the portal, hoping to drown the American military in blood. Some of those troops are Khornate Berzerkers, ready to split the skulls of the enemies in the name of Khorne. Meanwhile, Eliphas fights through Milkdrinker's rabid fans, trying to stop the concert. He aims his Reaper Autocannon at the sound systems...
Aim for the sound systems, and destroy them to stop the concert, once and for all. If successful, join my army in the attempt to push the Americans out of the city.
Main Army: Send a couple of Chaos Marines squads to Chupacabras as a sign of a new (temporary) alliance, then with the help of Ithadtam, Chupacabras, and Hell Bovines, obliterate the American and Crusader forces, or at least make them rout.
If Chaos successfully destroys the enemy forces, finally capture the city in the name of Chaos!
@ star2wars3
Would you to cooperate against the American unbelievers, and destroy them together? Don't worry, you'll still have right to exist.
Ouroboros should continue helping me out. Spray beast-bone projectiles in Milkdrinker's general direction like a mad-man.
"CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC!"
Spray part of my new weapon on Genericville
Watch from safe distance with Richtofen,
Conjure a 10 foot long spear, along with a rectangular shield the length of two school buses and the width of a house.
take said spear from him as he tries to conjure it, and poke him in the eye till he releases the next turn for his own RTD.
@Dustan Hache
Hey, while your here, want to join? We are trying to get the four horsemen of the apocalypse, war and death are taken but you could play as pestilence or famine.
"I don't understand why we are going through all this trouble to find a man who surely doesn't want to be found" "Because we need him to accomplish the plan" "Yes, but why are we tracking him" "You have a better idea" "Well, he made himself this towns guardian, did he not?" "Diablo don't" "Too late"
Begin causing chaos until Nikola Tesla (Who we are just saying in this universe got the elixir of life from Nickolas Flamel because hey, it makes about as much sense as everything else in this game)
appears so I can talk to him. Elsewhere, in hell, Lucifer shoots the doom mug out of the sky and adds "attempt to destroy hell" to ATHATH's list of crimes.
(Spoiler omitted)
Participate in the court case.
(Hold up. How come I ended up as pestilence instead of famine? I demand a refill as I am not pestilence!)
SaitamaHey, what did I do wrong? If we don't stop these beasts, there will be worldwide massacres, not just one localized massacre! Sometimes, you just have to figure out who's the greater evil, and besides, we are working on defeating the Chaos troops, too.
Curse the President under breath and start to fight the menace of Mexican folklore and goats
"OW. SHIT. OUROBOROUS, BE MORE CAREFUL NEXT TIME MAN."
COMMAND OUROBOROUS TO CIRCLE AROUND ME AND PREVENT ENEMIES FROM COMING CLOSER, ALLOW ANY ALLIES TO PASS BY THOUGH. CAST A SPELL TO SHATTER THE DIMENSIONAL BARRIER.
At the concert, Eliphas and Ithadtam begin stomping the metalheads..."HOW YOU GUYS LOSING?? SO-CALLED "METALHEADS" GETTING BEATEN BY A BUNCH OF GREASY COSPLAY NERDS!
(Oh fine.)
get up and kick rethi Inbetween the legs for essentially clotheslining me off my horse. that's just rude!
Kick famine back,let them know that I'm working on a turn.
Attempt to summon Ithadtam's spirit into the giant suit of armor. If successful, perform an awesome high five.
"Enough of this, unbeliever! You've been nuisance to our cause for too long," said Eliphas to Milkdrinker. Then he ordered to Chaos Raptors to throw some melta-bombs at the remaining speakers, then distract Milkdrinker by attacking him. Eliphas climbs at the stage and is ready to deal with the musician.
If Chaos Raptors successfully distract Milkdrinker, grab his head from behind and rip it off. If not, bitch-slap Milkdrinker with my power fist six times, and then shred his belly with my Reaper Autocannon.
Send Ithadtam to fight to death against the Americans. Also, send a couple of Sorcerers to help Goatsby.
Main Army: Fortify the area around the city hall with Heavy Bolter Turrets.
((Goatsby, destroy the dimensional shield, please.))
COMMAND OUROBOROUS TO CIRCLE AROUND ME AND PREVENT ENEMIES FROM COMING CLOSER, ALLOW ANY ALLIES TO PASS BY THOUGH. CAST A SPELL TO SHATTER THE DIMENSIONAL BARRIER.
At the concert, Eliphas and Ithadtam begin stomping the metalheads..."HOW YOU GUYS LOSING?? SO-CALLED "METALHEADS" GETTING BEATEN BY A BUNCH OF GREASY COSPLAY NERDS!
WHAT KIND OF FUKKEN WIMPS SHOWED UP TO THIS GIG, ANYWAY!? KILL THEM!"
HAVE SPACELASER TUNE HIS UKULELE DOWN A BIT WHILST I FASHION THE BONES AND HIDES OF THE WEAK AND FALLEN INTO A GRUESOME, APOCALYPTICALLY-LOUD DRUMKIT, THIS PROJECT HOPEFULLY INSPIRING THE SURVIVING AUDIENCE TO FIGHT HARDER LEST THEY SHARE THE SAME FATE
THEN, LOB MY UKULELE INTO THE MIDST OF THE CHAOS ATTACKERS WHERE IT WILL (HOPEFULLY) EXPLODE IN A BURST OF HELLISH SHRAPNEL, SLICING THROUGH THEIR LEGS, GROINS AND ABDOMENS. WITHOUT WAITING TO SEE HOW WELL THAT WORKS, LAUNCH IMMEDIATELY INTO A SKULL-CRUSHING COVER OF THIS SONG (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AJ5lG1yv_k), CHANGING THE LYRICS SLIGHTLY TO REPLACE "NAZARENE" WITH "MATT WARDIAN" AND "CHAPELS OF DIVINITY" WITH "STOREFRONTS OF NERD SHIT".
PERHAPS A PUMMELLING DRUMBEAT IS ALL MY FANS NEED TO START BEING LESS PATHETIC AND DRIVE THE NERD MENACE BACK
CHANNEL MY BAT-HERD AROUND ME, FORMING A LEATHER-WINGED, RABID, BITING MAELSTROM AROUND THE STAGE TO REPEL INTRUDERS
summon more ghosts
Templars destroy the chaos mages.
Ghost regiment moves to the battlefield and attacks Ithadtam
Remove the Chupacabras.
Continue finding video evidence, just 1 video is not really enough.
Close that portal.
We clear?
Saitama
Curse the President under breath and start to fight the menace of Mexican folklore and goats
Wait for my power armor
Ask the Emperor what he needs me to do.
Go see if the gift shop has some batteries or if they have one of those audio tours that you can find by calling a phone number. Also stop to make some idle chat with people.
(this is going GREAT!)
Barricade up the place. Get guns too.
Use my van key to remote-call it to the roof.
FIX THIS NONSENSE! WITH !!SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Keep zoning out. Blast. Alright, move!" Force the engine to run through sheer willpower.
This cheese will give you inner strength to find your way on the path of milk!
Send my followers on path of milk
"How do I plead? Mwehehehehe... I think the better question is: How do you plead?"
Hasten the NEOOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG's arrival. Planeshift back to Earth just before it impacts Hell.
GLEEFULLY PLOUGHING THROUGH ANY GAMES WORKSHOP NERDS, CHRISTIAN PRIESTS, GIRAFFES OR INNOCENT BYSTANDERS ALONG THE WAYREPTILIAN AGENT! HOW DARE YOU!
WE DRIVING UNSPECIFIED DISTANCE ACROSS TOWN IN SEARCH OF SONIC WARFARE SUPPLIES, ENTIRELY POSSIBLE WE ENCOUNTER SOME
ALSO I NOT FORGOTTEN WHAT THOSE UNSIGHTLY HOOVED FREAKS DID TO ME! I JUST WANTED MILK! >:C
LEGSWEEP THE MALE GIRAFFE TO THE GROUND, THEN KNOCK HIM OUT WITH A SICK ELBOW DROP BEFORE"I just wanted milk" my ass. That beatdown was completely deserved.MOTORBOATING HIS LADYFRIENDMILKING THE FEMALE GIRAFFE INTO CUP
Damnit!Why not have Giraffe Snake hide in a box while he does so?
Send in air reinforcements for the troops fighting the Chupacabras!
Have GS send the information out over the radio to every spot he can, and then have him evacuate. Once he does, it's time to lay low for a while.
Shut down that portal!
Have NASA and SETI send out a signal into space requesting aid to fight the forces of Chaos and their co-conspirators, the Reptilians.
When done with the tour go out and get some tea in a cafe and read a newpaper
((Also thanks, I'm going to have to listen and read this all when I can))
Damnit!
Send in air reinforcements for the troops fighting the Chupacabras!
Have GS send the information out over the radio to every spot he can, and then have him evacuate. Once he does, it's time to lay low for a while. EDIT: Ge's using the power of his magic stealth imagination box.
Shut down that portal!
Have NASA and SETI send out a signal into space requesting aid to fight the forces of Chaos and their co-conspirators, the Reptilians.
Saitama
Punch the ground below the mass of chupacabras,hopefully into the corner of earth, letting them pour in through the funnel.
KICK THIS COSTUMED TWERP'S FEET OUT FROM UNDER HIM, THEN COMMANDO ROLL OUT OF HIS REACH, RAISE A FIST AND SHOUT FOR SPACELASER AND OUR SURVIVING FANS TO FOLLOW ME. [EDIT] VANQUISH ANYONE ATTEMPTING TO STOP OURESCAPERETREAT BY JAMMING THE SHARPENED SPIKES OF MY BRACERS THROUGH WEAKPOINTS ON THEIR HELMETS AND INTO BRAINS, OR IF THEY ARE UNARMOURED JUST KICK THE FACES OUT THE BACK OF THEIR SKULLS BEFORE CONTINUING ON [/EDIT]
GO HOTWIRE A (PREFERABLY BLACK) ZOO TOUR BUS AND HAVE EVERYONE PILE IN THERE, ALONG WITH OUR REMAINING INTACT MUSICAL EQUIPMENT, MY BAT HORDE AND ANY WOUNDED LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE CARRIED TO SAFETY BY THEIR COMRADES-IN-METAL. ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO REDECORATE IT TO LOOK AS KULT AS POSSIBLE.
HAVE THE SOUND GUY RIG THE BUS'S SOUND SYSTEM TO PUMP OUT BLACK METAL AT THE HIGHEST POSSIBLE VOLUME, TO MAINTAIN OUR VARIOUS BUFFS AND BONUSES AS WELL AS HEALING OUR INJURIES, THEN LET'S PEEL OUT OF HERE AND DRIVE SWIFTLY ACROSS TOWN IN SEARCH OF ANOTHER SUITABLE VENUE OR A MUSIC STORE AT WHICH WE CAN RESUPPLY, GLEEFULLY PLOUGHING THROUGH ANY GAMES WORKSHOP NERDS, CHRISTIAN PRIESTS, GIRAFFES OR INNOCENT BYSTANDERS ALONG THE WAY
EDIT: OR GOATSBY. ESPECIALLY GOATSBY.
ACTUALLY, IF I SEE GOATSBY ON THE WAY, TRY AND SEVER HIS HEAD AND STICK IT ON FRONT OF BUS.
WOULD LOOK METAL AS FUCK.
"TODAY YOU DIE, EXPERIMENT 1! YOU'RE FAR PAST YOUR EXPIRATION DATE!"
COMMAND OUROBOROUS TO ATTACK MILKDRINKER. HURL NUMEROUS BOLTS OF DESTRUCTIVE ENERGY AT MILKDRINKER AND HIS BATS.
"Sorcerers, concentrate along with Goatsby! Goatsby, show the truth of Chaos to these bats! Raptors, throw the bombs at metalheads," ordered Eliphas to his nearby troops.
Eliphas: Grab Milkdrinker by the leg, preventing him from knocking me down, then throw him into the crowd of the metalheads.
Main Army: Order to the sorcerers to make the portal to be resistant to conventional methods, then chant the warcries, giving us +1 to combat, then attack and drive the Americans out of the city. Also, send a squad of Raptors to kidnap the American general, before attacking the enemy.
Eliphas: If Milkdrinker is dead, go and join the main army. If not, shoot at him.
Note: Enlightened vampire bats will try to lift Spacelaser in the air, then drop him into the portal.
Templars and ghosts team up to destroy the sorcerers.
continue the ghost summoning.
TRY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get to the rooftop. Drive/fly van to Genericville.
Send my followers to plunder the city off milk.
Didn't that alternate Earth get sucked into an alternate dimension?
Depending on what he says, do the following:
Put on the new, more advanced power armor.
Contact the nearest undeployed contingent of Ultramarines via vox and order them to acquire a Battle Barge. Go whererver the Emperor tells me to. If it is to the alternate Earth, also acquire the 13th penal legion (http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/13th_Penal_Legion_(Last_Chancers)) to come with us.
"Excuse me, I need that armor."
steal Ithadtam's armor and spear, and leave him with a T-shirt and some jeans. Attack the chupracabra menace before they eat my sheep!
"Alright then." Drive into city or whatnot, find a mechanic, pay him to fix the car with an invitation to the apocalypse party.
Drop-kick famine over to the Milkdrinker concert gone awry. Set off with ithadtam towards the fort we built during the good ol' days.
Redirect whatever energies that Hell is sending at the NEOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUG into pushing the mug through the dimensional boundary between Hell and Earth. Hopefully, in addition to sending the NEOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUG back at Earth again, this will also open up a massive portal to Hell.
Damn, to busy to post my action.(Goatsby shut down that portal defense system last turn.)
Lucifer and the other demons destroy the Neo Doom Mug and close the portal by leeching off the US's anti portal tool which closed all portals chaos made so it should close this one as well. Meanwhile, back in New York, I walk over to Tesla and tell him I have something to discus with him.
"We are the Dark Eldar. It seems you require assistance.""Not from you."
What missile? We're not nuking you, we're sending a shit-ton of bombers.Sorry, I fixed that already.
Break into one and eat all their coffee cake and drink all the over priced beverages
Train the zombies around the mansion, then get onto the roof using the outside fire escape. Find Richtofen on the way. Escape.
This is NOT how I left it. I believe we may have been transported into the future.
Consult the Astropath on if the above is true.
Send the Last Chancers in to retrieve the superweapon. If and only if they do badly, send assistance.
Use the whole lizardman reveal for your advantage via posting anti-lizardman pro-napoleon propaganda in all internet.
Templars call the power of God to smite the sorcerers.
Napoleon army use (your probably) superior numbers to attack chaos main force
"Starve, goatsuckers!"
use my power as famine to distract the chupacabra swarm with crippling hunger pangs and/or withering bodies due to malnutrition. Be prepared to defend myself.
Saitama(Saitama vs Chupacabras)5vs5
Feign a punch,hard enough to cause a massive section of the chupacabras to get wiped out.
If that fails...Get serious.
"We are the Dark Eldar. It seems you require assistance.""Not from you."
Have our troops retreat from Genericville.
Bomb Genericville. All of it.
Fix the anti-portal field that we'd had set up.
If everything else doesn't get rid of the portal that Chaos has set up, shut down that portal.
RIP Solid Giraffe/Giraffe Snake. Ya dun good, kid.
Hop on Ouroborous and ride him like a giant flying snake mount. Chase Milkdrinker's bus from the sky and rain down various spells from the sky on it.
Hop on Ouroborous, ride him like a giant flying snake mount to the bombers. Have Ouroborous eat the bombers like tasty metal snacks and assimilate them into his mass. In addition, throw deadly spells like a madman at any bombers that escape Orouboros or are otherwise out of reach.
A Chaos spy in the American government informed Eliphas about incoming bombers. "Brothers, regroup at the city hall ruins! I have a plan," said Eliphas to his troops. Then he ordered to the Chaos Sorcerers to create a protection dome from the pure Warp energy, while also hopping on Goatsby's Ouroborous: "Brother Goatsby, Americans want to bomb Genericville. We've no time for chasing Milkdrinker, we need to stop the bombers of the vile American unbelievers...
Give out the orders, then hop on the Ouroborous.
Seek the bombers and order Goatsby to destroy them!
5th and 7th Ghost Regiments: 5th regiment will try to possess bombers, 7th regiment will fly to France and steal Napoleon's marshall baton.
Note: Also, if the creation of the protection dome succeeds, non-Chaos NPCs/PCs who'll try to enter the dome will have to succeed on a contest roll (XvsX) in order to not go bonkers.
"Screw it, the apocalypse is happening." Pay in actual money.
Let them drink some milk, then send them to set city on fire.
While blissfully unaware of the impending apocalypse, try and rent a good movie. Use conjuring manual (for awesome +2 bonus which I promise I won't abuse) to create a huge TV with all the works. Send a stormtrooper to get a few cases of beer and a barrel of mead for Ithadtam.
PLACEHOLDER ACTION: FORTIFY MUSIC STORE, ACQUIRE REPLACEMENT UKULELE AND INSTRUCT FANS TO REGROUP VIA SOCIAL MEDIA
Thanks
"Diablo" "Yeah" "Don't be an idiot" "Fine angel boy, *grumble grumble*"
Lucifer once more tries to destroy the Neo Doom Mug. Meanwhile, in New York, after being mentally yelled at by Angelo, Diablo once again tries to talk to Tesla.
Escape Doom Mug!(Diablo talking to Tesla)5
We. Are. Screwed.
Envy should not be the Devil. Heaven and hell are unbalanced, this can only mean one thing, Heavenly civil war. It does not matter that Pestilence has yet to arrive, that the horsemen don't yet have their artifacts, the pages have been torn from the book and strew to the wind. With your death, ATHATH, you achieved what you wished. The world as we knew it is over, the final war has begun.So you're resetting the timeline soon, right?
Envy should not be the Devil. Heaven and hell are unbalanced, this can only mean one thing, Heavenly civil war. It does not matter that Pestilence has yet to arrive, that the horsemen don't yet have their artifacts, the pages have been torn from the book and strew to the wind. With your death, ATHATH, you achieved what you wished. The world as we knew it is over, the final war has begun.So you're resetting the timeline soon, right?
((Finally someone is dead, yay! BTW, can the next RTD/Round 2 be more lethal in terms of player mortality? It's turn 34 already, and the only one who is truly dead is ATHATH...))He said passing out, not dying. I don't think mortality really fits into this game. Perhaps ATHATH still lives on, although buried underneath the wreckage of 9 planes of existence.
He said passing out, not dying. I don't think mortality really fits into this game. Perhaps ATHATH still lives on, although buried underneath the wreckage of 9 planes of existence.Mortality fits in ANY RTD. Don't get me wrong, I love this RTD, but the PvP is pointless if no PC dies. Especially if the PC got hit by collapsing 9 planes of existence on top of him. But anyway, how about Enemy post just creates a poll about PC mortality? If the majority is for invincible PCs, then we'll keep playing the game without dying PCs. If the majority is for mortal PCs, then the PCs can die from now on. Also, it's Minimalist RTD, PC creation doesn't take too much effort in these kinds of RTDs.
I second the creation of a poll, for what it's worth.He said passing out, not dying. I don't think mortality really fits into this game. Perhaps ATHATH still lives on, although buried underneath the wreckage of 9 planes of existence.Mortality fits in ANY RTD. Don't get me wrong, I love this RTD, but the PvP is pointless if no PC dies. Especially if the PC got hit by collapsing 9 planes of existence on top of him. But anyway, how about Enemy post just creates a poll about PC mortality? If the majority is for invincible PCs, then we'll keep playing the game without dying PCs. If the majority is for mortal PCs, then the PCs can die from now on. Also, it's Minimalist RTD, PC creation doesn't take too much effort in these kinds of RTDs.
Reveal to have been preparing for the doom-mug apocalypse with a ritual to turn it into a mug-cake after impact, thus undoing any flooding, and have a well-stocked bunker as a failsafe.
Reveal to have been preparing for the doom-mug apocalypse with a ritual to turn it into a mug-cake after impact, thus undoing any flooding, and have a well-stocked bunker as a failsafe.
The Mug impacted Hell, not Earth.
Do nukes work on demons well?
What happens if a dead demon is made undead?
What? no, i'm not trying to nuke and then zombiefy demons. That would be mad! I'm not mad! Right? I'm not mad? Am I?
Mortally wounded demons go back to hellThere is no hell. Now what?
Sorry, ment to respond to this one for a while, he said passing, as in dying, not passing out.((Finally someone is dead, yay! BTW, can the next RTD/Round 2 be more lethal in terms of player mortality? It's turn 34 already, and the only one who is truly dead is ATHATH...))He said passing out, not dying. I don't think mortality really fits into this game. Perhaps ATHATH still lives on, although buried underneath the wreckage of 9 planes of existence.
Now they can die, but they are still very powerful and hard to kill.Mortally wounded demons go back to hellThere is no hell. Now what?
Hey, how many demons are still around?
Hey, how many demons are still around?
Only the ones who outside Hell for whatever reason when the impact happened. Much less than the angels, but enough to fight a guerrilla war.
Permission to write up the ranks of Hell's army?
Reverse everything so that none of this ever happened!!!!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA
THE SCION OF ENTROPY HAS COMPLETED HIS MISSION
DIE, PUNY MORTALS, AND KNOW THAT YOUR WORLD SHALL NEVER BE THE SAME
FOR NOW I SHALL BEGIN KILLING THE REST OF YOU FOR FUN
Respawn as the zombified form of all of the hopes and dreams that the zombie apocalypse has shattered/killed.
IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS ANATHEMA TO CREATION, KILL.
+1 to noping the hell out of this.AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA
THE SCION OF ENTROPY HAS COMPLETED HIS MISSION
DIE, PUNY MORTALS, AND KNOW THAT YOUR WORLD SHALL NEVER BE THE SAME
FOR NOW I SHALL BEGIN KILLING THE REST OF YOU FOR FUN
Respawn as the zombified form of all of the hopes and dreams that the zombie apocalypse has shattered/killed.
IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS ANATHEMA TO CREATION, KILL.
Nope
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping+1 to noping the hell out of this.AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA
THE SCION OF ENTROPY HAS COMPLETED HIS MISSION
DIE, PUNY MORTALS, AND KNOW THAT YOUR WORLD SHALL NEVER BE THE SAME
FOR NOW I SHALL BEGIN KILLING THE REST OF YOU FOR FUN
Respawn as the zombified form of all of the hopes and dreams that the zombie apocalypse has shattered/killed.
IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS ANATHEMA TO CREATION, KILL.
Nope
Shut down the portal, shut down the forcefield, sent an evacuation notice to everyone is Genericville, bomb it or send War and his dudes in depending on whether or not the forcefield is down.DO NOT Accept help from the Orks. That would only make it much, much, worse later.
Send out signals in an attempt to contact people (NOT the Dark Eldar) who will help us get rid of Chaos. Hell, even the Orks would work, I guess.
EDIT: I forgot about the Chupacabra king.
Time for psychic overmind time! Our army has not fallen, only retreated. Now tell us what you want.
Orks are entertaining and probably easily bribale. Plus they're latent psychics; if we can convince them that something should work, it will.
But fine, no orks, less dakka.
EDIT: any way to get us an Emprahsqueu? (I probably botched that spelling)
Fair enough.You ARE technically a psychic overmind, why not ask him personally?
Any way the Emprahsque could help us out while still doing what he's currently doing? Shutting down all of Chaos's portals, everywhere, maybe?
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to nopingSigged.
ALSO, IF I CAN, MENTALLY/MUSICALLY -1 THE ATTEMPTS AT NOPING ATHAH'S ACTION IN EXCHANGE FOR HIM NOT HARMING ME OR MY FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS [/B]THE PACT IS MADE.
EDIT: ACTUALLY, IF ATHAH AGREES TO THIS CASUAL ALLIANCE, WRITE SONG ABOUT HIM, DESCRIBING THE DOOM MUG SAGA, AS WELL AS THE MAGICAL RAMPAGE HE IS CURRENTLY ATTEMPTING TO EMBARK ON. REHEARSE IT WITH SPACELASER AND PREPARE TO INCLUDE IT ON OUR IMMINENT RECORDING
ATHATH I challenge you to a duel.[insert Yu-Gi-Oh meme here]
ALSO, IF I CAN, MENTALLY/MUSICALLY -1 THE ATTEMPTS AT NOPING ATHAH'S ACTION IN EXCHANGE FOR HIM NOT HARMING ME OR MY FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS [/B]THE PACT IS MADE.
EDIT: ACTUALLY, IF ATHAH AGREES TO THIS CASUAL ALLIANCE, WRITE SONG ABOUT HIM, DESCRIBING THE DOOM MUG SAGA, AS WELL AS THE MAGICAL RAMPAGE HE IS CURRENTLY ATTEMPTING TO EMBARK ON. REHEARSE IT WITH SPACELASER AND PREPARE TO INCLUDE IT ON OUR IMMINENT RECORDINGATHATH I challenge you to a duel.[insert Yu-Gi-Oh meme here]
I DECLINE YOUR CHALLENGE.Spoiler: Seekwet Acshun (click to show/hide)
EDIT: ACTUALLY, IF ATHAH AGREES TO THIS CASUAL ALLIANCE, WRITE SONG ABOUT HIM, DESCRIBING THE DOOM MUG SAGA, AS WELL AS THE MAGICAL RAMPAGE HE IS CURRENTLY ATTEMPTING TO EMBARK ON. REHEARSE IT WITH SPACELASER AND PREPARE TO INCLUDE IT ON OUR IMMINENT RECORDINGEven with your audience of satanists and metal heads, Daiblo at least would still be considered a hero, and ATHATH a villain for, hummmmmm... killing the devil and most other demons these people are worshiping and hailing.
Shut down the portal, shut down the forcefield, sent an evacuation notice to everyone is Genericville, bomb it or send War and his dudes in depending on whether or not the forcefield is down.
Send out signals in an attempt to contact people (NOT the Dark Eldar) who will help us get rid of Chaos. Hell, even the Orks would work, I guess.
EDIT: I forgot about the Chupacabra king.
Time for psychic overmind time! Our army has not fallen, only retreated. Now tell us what you want.
EDIT2: More contacts!
*Ahem* Hello? Emperor, can you hear us?
We are the Giraffes. It has recently come to our attention that you are the greatest force against those who have been done of our fiercest enemies: Chaos. We seek your aid, but are informed that you may be a bit... busy. However, we do have an idea of how you may be able to help us: if you could shut down all the portals that Chaos has open, it would cripple them the universe over. Do you accept this plea for assistance?
Go donate to the Templars, maybe they'll name a toilet after me.
"WOOOOO! HELL YEAH! DEATH AND DESTRUCTION, BABY! TIME FOR SOME AIR SUPPORT OF OUR OWN."
SUMMON AN ENSLAVED END-SINGER (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/magical-beasts/spawn-of-destruction/the-end-singer/), WHICH SHOULD BE EASIER FOR ME SINCE IT IS A MAGICAL BEAST AND I AM THE GOD OF BEASTS. IF THIS WORKS, HAVE IT SWOOP DOWN ON THE ENEMY AND FIRE LOTS OF EYE-BEAMS.
"You and me, big boy!"
challenge the chupacabra king to a duel. No, not the kind with swords and weapons! A insult duel, oh... sir! Winner takes all!
Wander around outside looking for action and adventure, let everyone else come if they want
Grant my followers power of powerful milk-spear
Well shit.(It's not too much, it just didn't work.)
Open the rear doors. Use the Zeus Canon to blast the zombies out the back.
Drive to the closest nuke silo. Attatch vials of my zombie weapon to nuke, launch at Genericville
Inform President of zombie epidemic, blame it on the french, and say that I'll nuke the problem. Go to Defcon 2.
Also inform president and other officials that the world is about to end. Organise 14m^2 obsidian at area 52.
yes, area 52.
(if this is too much, tell me))
Reveal to have been preparing for the doom-mug apocalypse with a ritual to turn it into a mug-cake after impact, thus undoing any flooding, and have a well-stocked bunker as a failsafe.
"Thanks!" Have car repaired, then buy party supplies, then drive back to destroyed milk lake house.
Order the Astropath to update me as soon as she figures it out.
Have the TechPriests examine the device, BUT DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON, EVEN IF YOU THINK ITS OFF. (I don't want Guilliman dying from a critical fail.)
Order the last chancers back into space, and Exterminatus this twisted future of Earth 2.
Saitama
Bring a serious flurry of punches to the Chupacabras, then pull a superman,Reverse time to before all this happend by running along the opposite direction of earth's spin
"Time to get out from this planet, but we are not leaving without New Hampshire. Goatsby, sorcerers, it's time to take New Hampshire by any means necessary!"
Order to the sorcerersand Goatsbyto strengthen the protection dome, and then make it cover the entire New Hampshire. After that,Goatsby along withthe sorcerers shall tear away New Hampshire territory from the Earth, leaving the biggest crater on the surface of the planet, and then send this chunk of the Earth into Immaterium.
Go and shoot One Punch Man in his spine, paralyzing and preventing him from resetting the time.
5th and 7th Ghost regiment: 5th regiment shall possess Templars and turn the Templars to the Chaos, while 7th regiment will try to locate and damage Giraffe Overmind. If these regiments are stillaliveundead, of course.
((Finally someone is dead, yay! BTW, can the next RTD/Round 2 be more lethal in terms of player mortality? It's turn 34 already, and the only one who is truly dead is ATHATH...))
EDIT: Goatsby doesn't follow my orders.
travel to genericville and eat the chaos ghost regiment absorbing their powers.
The Templar's Obey Napoleon the guy has the highest military experience in our side.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA
THE SCION OF ENTROPY HAS COMPLETED HIS MISSION
DIE, PUNY MORTALS, AND KNOW THAT YOUR WORLD SHALL NEVER BE THE SAME
FOR NOW I SHALL BEGIN KILLING THE REST OF YOU FOR FUN
Respawn as the zombified form of all of the hopes and dreams that the zombie apocalypse has shattered/killed.
IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS ANATHEMA TO CREATION, KILL.
SET ASIDE COUPLE COUCHES OR WHATEVER FOR WOUNDED FANS TO BE TREATED ON (IF ANY MADE IT) AND SEE IF I CAN FIND FIRST AID KIT IN EMPLOYEE BATHROOM OR SOMETHING.(Party prep)6
THEN BEGIN PREPARATIONS TO PARTY WITH EVERYONE ELSE. SEND SCAVENGING PARTIES (PROBABLY INCLUDING BATS) TO LOOT LIQUOR STORES AND SNACK DEPOTS. ALSO ENCOURAGE FOLKS TO CONTRIBUTE DRUGS. SET UP SACRIFICIAL ALTAR IN BACK ROOM FOR LATER ON WHEN PARTY IN FULL SWING.
STRAP BOTH THOSE BEAUTIFUL UKULELES ACROSS MY BACK, READY FOR QUICK-DRAW ACTION, UNLESS SPACELASER WANTS TO REPLACE HIS AS WELL IN WHICH CASE WE SHALL GO ONE EACH. CONNECT THEM TO PLENTY OF AMPS, AS WELL AS OF COURSE ENSURING PLENTY OF BLACK, PREFERABLY UKULELE-SOAKED METAL IS BLASTING AT ALL TIMES
ALSO, IF I CAN, MENTALLY/MUSICALLY -1 THE ATTEMPTS AT NOPING ATHAH'S ACTION IN EXCHANGE FOR HIM NOT HARMING ME OR MY FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS
EDIT: ACTUALLY, IF ATHAH AGREES TO THIS CASUAL ALLIANCE, SHOULD WRITE SONG ABOUT HIM, DESCRIBING THE DOOM MUG SAGA, AS WELL AS THE MAGICAL RAMPAGE HE IS CURRENTLY ATTEMPTING TO EMBARK ON. REHEARSE IT WITH SPACELASER AND PREPARE TO INCLUDE IT ON OUR IMMINENT RECORDING
Nope
+1 to noping the hell out of this.
YEEEEEES! (https://youtu.be/MPMqzuvTpPI?t=46)(I'm not sure if this is an action. I'm going to act like it is.)
It's clickable, btw.
"%@&*" "Wow, didn't realize you knew any cuss words Angelo." "Diablo, this is no time for jokes." "I know, its my bosses who died, remember." "Yes, now, we need to step up our game." "Agreed"
Ask Tesla if, in his immortal life, he learnt the locations of the four elemental spirits, the fate of three worlds is at stake god damn it. If he has, fly to the closest, top speed! Meanwhile, In heaven,
Michael and the other Arcangels go over their strategy to stall until Angelo and Diablo succeed,and to stop ATHATH's reincarnation. Meanwhile in an undisclosed location, Leviathan rallies his army to destroy everything in their path, and should they find the one known as ATHATH, to torture him until he begs for death, and then to take him to Leviathan for even more torture.
ATHATH I challenge you to a duel.
EDIT: Go to the time machine and protect it from ATHATH. Also, Nephalem
(Previously spoilered)In addition to trying to stop any time travel plots that I can, corrupt the elemental lords (to serve me/my cause), WoW style.3
New character Name: Nephalem(Nephalem vs ATHATH)6-1vs3
Description: There were once an Angel and a Demon, Angelo and Diablo, given the same mission, to take the body of Adam Simons and share it with a being that was their complete opposite. However, they both soon learned they had more in common than they had differences. As a result, they became friends, and though they often had different goals, would work together to achieve them.However, one day they found a goal they both could agree on, saving the world. A being known as ATHATH was attempting to destroy the world with his Doom Mug, but Angelo stopped him an locked him in the elder plain. However, it didn't last long, and he escaped to plague the world again. Later, ATHATH began his plan anew, and sent another Doom Mug at the earth, known as the NEO Doom Mug. Once more the angel and demon pair tried to save the world, and once more they succeeded, and ATHATH was soon to pay for his crimes in the courts of Hell. But all was not well, as ATHATH took his NEO Doom Mug to hell with him, and it destroyed the heart of evil. With this, the cosmic order broke, angels fought angels, and demons invaded the mortal, plain. Angelo and Diablo began their greatest mission, one both sides agreed on, to return to the beginning of the world and stop ATHATH from ever completing his plan. But as they stood, soon to save the world, ATHATH appeared before them, reincarnated as the anathema of hope itself, ready for a final duel to the death. Sadly, our heros, the worlds final hopes, fell in battle, but, from the burnt skeleton rose a new form. Clad in a red and blue suit, pants, and shoes, with two different cuff links, one a black one with a red monogrammed D, and another gold, with a simple blue A. In either hand is a sword, one blazing with hellfire, and another with a holy blaze. From his back sprout two sets of wings, one black with a silver edge, and another white with a golden edge. He wears no mask, unlike his predecessors, instead showing off a classically handsome face, such as you'd expect to see in a painting of a Greek god, however one eye's sclera (the white of the eye) is black, and the iris red, the other has a normal sclera, and a blue iris. He has two horns sprouting from his head, with a halo glowing golden circling them both. He is greater than the sum of his parts, not simply a cross breed of an Angel and a Devil, but something stronger than both, and he will save this world.
End the threat of ATHATH forever.
You activated my trap card, Battle Mania it makes it so you have to attack me (look it up, its real)(Don't read people's spoilered actions)1-6
It's time to D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!
I place down the trap card Remove Brainwashing (Also a real card) which prevents ATHATH from taking control of any of the elemental spirits.
INCINERATE THESE MEANINGLESS CARDS WITH BUT A SINGLE THOUGHT- THEY HOLD NO POWER OVER A BEING AS POWERFUL AS ME.4
Addendum to my above action: KILL the people that are messing with time/trying to undo the apocalypse first.
Reverse everything so that none of this ever happened!!!!!
Well, enemy post, I gotta say that for your very first RTD, this one is very impressive. I hope for M&M 2 to come out eventually!
BTW, can M&M 2 be set in the other era, like Antique, or Medieval Ages, or maybe even Sci-Fi Future?
I am an exceedingly confused person, as is appropriate for this game.The game ended because Imic became the milk man and dropped off milk at the door so none of the insanity happened as we looked for milk.
I just came here to check up on ehat happened, and I'm so chuffed to see that I did it in the end.
Thank god.
Edit:
I came from an alternate timeline that ended immediately. If I try to go back, it will no longer exist. I am now stuck in a universe with two of me and nowhere to go to.
Chances are, I probably will end up causing the next game, knowing how continuity works.
Maybe I should go to a different planet full of humanoids at a medieval level of technology, and steal some milk to drown my sorrows, causing a similar bit completely different chain of events.
that the people from fictional universes.
that the people from fictional universes.
What do you call Warhamner 40k?
It is finished (unless that paradox roll works out (and the ensuing time-breakage causes M&M 2?)).
Well, that was a great game.
Also, really, Smoke Mirrors, you read my secret spoilered action? Creating a Mary Sue-ish character was understandable (because this is a minimalist game and I think we all did a little bit of that), but that's just low (and this is coming from a guy that tried to destroy the universe and (in different games) created/used the Manipulator).
~It's the end of the timeline as we know it...~
~And I'm feelin' fiiiiiiine...~
It's time to D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!
wait what duel?
First, I'm very glad everyone enjoyed this so much. However, it is over, I won't run a Round 2. I've got some other things I'd like to get back to. If someone wants to run a sequel, then go ahead.
Don't worry too much about the one mistake, Smoke Mirrors. Your character was memorable for all the demonology and story writing.
We've got enough votes for the Hall of Fame. If nobody else has a description, mind if I suggest the Rethi quote in Mallos' signature?
"So let me get this straight - The forces of chaos have joined forces with agoatcompletely human evil milk deity thing to fight myself and the God-Emperor of whatever, the harbringer of the apocalypse is proposing an offer to me, everyone is in the process of being enthralled by the power of Black Ukelele Metal, and the avatar of the Devil is fighting everyone?"