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[sasf54]

Try diggin one line at a time. This will skip the warnings.
The warnings are generated, when the second tile is hot.

dear mining squad,

I realise that lava is dangerous, I know a sign of lava is warm rock, but I also happen to have some rather accurate knowledge about the exact location of aforementioned lava: BELOW the area you are digging out, not next to it. stop shouting about warm rock, and DO YOUR JOBS!!!

signed,

your somewhat displeased ruler.

[malimbar04]

Not to Urists,
DO NOT GO INTO THE RIVER!
There is nothing in that entire area of the fort, it's a dead corner.
I've covered it with bridges and floors to prevent accidental falls.
Yet, at the bottom of a single waterfall there is still an estimated 9 dead dwarves.

This is not the Niagra. The waterfall is exactly 1 tile deep, and lake is surrounded by ramps. There is no honor here. There is just stupidity, as dwarf after dwarf drowns to death. I don't know how you guy are getting in there, but stop.

[Robsoie]

Urist, i know you've been doing this stupidly for as long as Dwarf Fortress existed, but please, oh please, when i decide to close completely a room, ordering you to build a wall, stop putting the last piece of wall while you're inside that room.
That's extremely annoying, so just stop.

[Dalkar]

Urist, i know you've been doing this stupidly for as long as Dwarf Fortress existed, but please, oh please, when i decide to close completely a room, ordering you to build a wall, stop putting the last piece of wall while you're inside that room.
That's extremely annoying, so just stop.

Same thing happened, but it was a miner digging a moat. He was grabbed by a giant carp.

[-Firestar-]

Urist, i know you've been doing this stupidly for as long as Dwarf Fortress existed, but please, oh please, when i decide to close completely a room, ordering you to build a wall, stop putting the last piece of wall while you're inside that room.
That's extremely annoying, so just stop.

Or build the entire wall in no order whatsoever (just like your digging) and SOMEHOW box yourself out of doing the corners every single time without fail. Stop working so hard to not work. You are DWARVES!

[YetAnotherStupidDorf]

Dear cat of Healeddike,

Stop dancing around these pastured dogs in fort entrance. It is going decidedly for too long. You are not even pastured! Kill this rat infestation, NOW.

Yours, Armok.

[Garath]

Dear cat of Healeddike,

Stop dancing around these pastured dogs in fort entrance. It is going decidedly for too long. You are not even pastured! Kill this rat infestation, NOW.

Yours, Armok.

"Mew. MEW mreow mew mew meeeew. Mrow Mrew Mrrrowl. Rrrrrrrrr."

(translated)

Dear slave, cats obey no master we do as we want. We want a scratch behind the ears now. Make it so.

[Vehudur]

Dear cat of Healeddike,

Stop dancing around these pastured dogs in fort entrance. It is going decidedly for too long. You are not even pastured! Kill this rat infestation, NOW.

Yours, Armok.

"Mew. MEW mreow mew mew meeeew. Mrow Mrew Mrrrowl. Rrrrrrrrr."

(translated)

Dear slave, cats obey no master we do as we want. We want a scratch behind the ears now. Make it so.

*picks up overly arrogant cat and punts it into the nearest magma pit*

[KelisMetal]

YOU STUPID BITCH, YOU WATCHED YOUR CHILD DIE OF THIRST!

[WillowLuman]

Dear cat of Healeddike,

Stop dancing around these pastured dogs in fort entrance. It is going decidedly for too long. You are not even pastured! Kill this rat infestation, NOW.

Yours, Armok.

"Mew. MEW mreow mew mew meeeew. Mrow Mrew Mrrrowl. Rrrrrrrrr."

(translated)

Dear slave, cats obey no master we do as we want. We want a scratch behind the ears now. Make it so.

Goes to my desk (bookkeeper/manager). Opens records file of cat. Checks box marked "Ready for slaughter: Y"

[Wolfy]

Your dwarfs then are siege apron, by cute cuddly kittens of doom

[WillowLuman]

Your dwarfs then are siege apron, by cute cuddly kittens of doom

And so begins the most epic battle of all time, ever.

[Vehudur]

Large, serrated adamantine disc x 500 in 250 weapon traps in a long hallway.  Mostly masterwork.

No more cat invasion.

[Terratoch]

Urist McFistFighter,

Why do you insist on going into battle bare handed when we have two perfectly useable copper battle axes for you to choose from?
In the future, please employ these modern works of technology. Even if the targets are annoying fauna, they can still kick, bite, and scratch you to death.

Sincerely yours,

magical floating x in the sky.

[DungeonJerk]

Dear Urist's of PantsPalace

It is with heavy regret...oh who am I kidding?, I'm done, you stupid apes cost yourself your lives. You just HAD to stomp on my mercy and run outside into the thrall infested glacier for some idiot thing I told you ALL to leave the hell alone when I let those damn Migrants in. Now all of you except a few are part of the zombie horde that have amassed outside.

Well, no more!. I hereby quit. I'm taking all the booze using the emergency "oh shit" lever, opening ALL the doors, and letting the zombies have a snack of you while I escape out my overseer escape tunnel. So long, its been miserable. I think I'll set up in a nice peaceful place next time without you schmucks.

Signed: Former Overseer DungeonDwarf of PantsPalace

PS: To the Zombies, please chew your food thoroughly.