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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1496524 times)

Corai

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3795 on: June 09, 2012, 03:52:36 pm »

Quote
-Quote wall-

To all concerned parties:

My beard has begun itching, indicating the likelyhood of evil and/or blood rain in the area in the coming hours. You might want to relocate your party indoors. The dining hall is open as is the kitten pit. I'd recommend the dining hall, though.

Yours, Urist McBeard
Dear dumb Dwarves

What is this? Unlawful assembly we say! Who gave permits for such a party, hmm? We are very cross indeed and shall thoroughly chastise you for this!

-the Elves.

Dear elves,

Go screw a tree! Its summer, its our turn to trade! Wait a party, dump the trade goods lets dance!

-The humans, who are riding in a wooden party wagon
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

WillowLuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3796 on: June 09, 2012, 03:55:37 pm »

Quote
-Quote wall-

To all concerned parties:

My beard has begun itching, indicating the likelyhood of evil and/or blood rain in the area in the coming hours. You might want to relocate your party indoors. The dining hall is open as is the kitten pit. I'd recommend the dining hall, though.

Yours, Urist McBeard
Dear dumb Dwarves

What is this? Unlawful assembly we say! Who gave permits for such a party, hmm? We are very cross indeed and shall thoroughly chastise you for this!

-the Elves.

Dear elves,

Go screw a tree! Its summer, its our turn to trade! Wait a party, dump the trade goods lets dance!

-The humans, who are riding in a wooden party wagon
Hey, all!

Did someone say PARTY? We are coming out of your closets and sayin' it's time to BOOGY! Better set up those disco torches! Gonna party all night and be gone by morning, so y'all don't have to clean up after us.

-The Boogeymen's Union
Logged
Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

WriterX

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3797 on: June 09, 2012, 04:07:09 pm »

Quote
-Quote wall-

To all concerned parties:

My beard has begun itching, indicating the likelyhood of evil and/or blood rain in the area in the coming hours. You might want to relocate your party indoors. The dining hall is open as is the kitten pit. I'd recommend the dining hall, though.

Yours, Urist McBeard
Dear dumb Dwarves

What is this? Unlawful assembly we say! Who gave permits for such a party, hmm? We are very cross indeed and shall thoroughly chastise you for this!

-the Elves.

Dear elves,

Go screw a tree! Its summer, its our turn to trade! Wait a party, dump the trade goods lets dance!

-The humans, who are riding in a wooden party wagon
Hey, all!

Did someone say PARTY? We are coming out of your closets and sayin' it's time to BOOGY! Better set up those disco torches! Gonna party all night and be gone by morning, so y'all don't have to clean up after us.

-The Boogeymen's Union

Dear Humans on Party Wagon,

Giant Kea has stolen Wooden Party Wagon!

Sincerely,

Giant Kea
Logged

Loud Whispers

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    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3798 on: June 10, 2012, 12:29:12 am »

Quote
-Quote wall-

To all concerned parties:

My beard has begun itching, indicating the likelyhood of evil and/or blood rain in the area in the coming hours. You might want to relocate your party indoors. The dining hall is open as is the kitten pit. I'd recommend the dining hall, though.

Yours, Urist McBeard
Dear dumb Dwarves

What is this? Unlawful assembly we say! Who gave permits for such a party, hmm? We are very cross indeed and shall thoroughly chastise you for this!

-the Elves.

Dear elves,

Go screw a tree! Its summer, its our turn to trade! Wait a party, dump the trade goods lets dance!

-The humans, who are riding in a wooden party wagon
Hey, all!

Did someone say PARTY? We are coming out of your closets and sayin' it's time to BOOGY! Better set up those disco torches! Gonna party all night and be gone by morning, so y'all don't have to clean up after us.

-The Boogeymen's Union

Dear Humans on Party Wagon,

Giant Kea has stolen Wooden Party Wagon!

Sincerely,

Giant Kea

Dear all;



Sincerely, Ravens.

Splint

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3799 on: June 10, 2012, 12:32:17 am »

You don't like ravens do you....

bukitodinos

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3800 on: June 10, 2012, 12:35:08 am »

Quote
-Quote wall-

To all concerned parties:

My beard has begun itching, indicating the likelyhood of evil and/or blood rain in the area in the coming hours. You might want to relocate your party indoors. The dining hall is open as is the kitten pit. I'd recommend the dining hall, though.

Yours, Urist McBeard
Dear dumb Dwarves

What is this? Unlawful assembly we say! Who gave permits for such a party, hmm? We are very cross indeed and shall thoroughly chastise you for this!

-the Elves.

Dear elves,

Go screw a tree! Its summer, its our turn to trade! Wait a party, dump the trade goods lets dance!

-The humans, who are riding in a wooden party wagon
Hey, all!

Did someone say PARTY? We are coming out of your closets and sayin' it's time to BOOGY! Better set up those disco torches! Gonna party all night and be gone by morning, so y'all don't have to clean up after us.

-The Boogeymen's Union

Dear everyone,

HEY, no one invited us! Well we'll bring along some other fun people.

-Random adventurers
Dear Humans on Party Wagon,

Giant Kea has stolen Wooden Party Wagon!

Sincerely,

Giant Kea

Dear all;



Sincerely, Ravens.
Logged
I mean for the love of god! There's hair trying to kill a dog!
back to professional martinis with bukitodinos!
---
Put the flag in the martini and were done!
siggy!

Vyro

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3801 on: June 11, 2012, 01:58:56 am »

Dear Urist McLegendaryChopDorf.

Those stinky hippies took forever to load and leave (no wonder actually, considering the sheer amounts of all those birchen toyboxes, ashen drums and saguaro rib dildoes they usually bring for trade), so I sent you guy out there to give one of them a hearthy farewell kick to speed up the process.

"Urist McLegendaryChopDorf hacks the Elven Merchant in the guts with [insertcoolnamehere], but the attack is deflected by Elven Merchant's rope reed fiber dress!"

You got it right at least, but let me get some things clear. [insertcoolnamehere] is your masterwork adamantine battle axe. Clutched in your hand it claimed the lives of half a dozen forgotten frights and a number of goblin ones well beyound any numbers. You are legendary in killing things that move. So how in the name of chaos gods did that elf even survive the first hit?! I know that there's always a miniscule of chance for some crazy thing to happen, and you promptly proceeded to dismember the elf in question afterwards, but DEFLECTED? The thing that cuts through rock like butter with a plant cloth?
I don't want to accuse one of our immortals of treason, really. Otherwise, you'd be diving into the sea of flames. Without your gear and anyone asking you anything.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2012, 05:57:16 am by Vyro »
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jaxy15

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3802 on: June 11, 2012, 02:03:52 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Dear everyone who is partying,

...

~Giant Sponge
Logged
Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.

WillowLuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3803 on: June 11, 2012, 02:04:48 am »

Dear Urist McLegendaryChopDorf.

Those stinky hippies took forever to load and leave (no wonder actually, considering the sheer amounts of all those birchen toyboxes, ashen drums and saguaro rib dildoes they usually bring for trade), so I sent you guy out there to give one of them a hearthy farewell kick to speed up the process.

"Urist McLegendaryChopDorf hacks the Elven Merchant in the guts with [insertcoolnamehere], but the attack is deflected by Elven Merchant's rope reed fiber dress!"

You got it right at least, but let me get some things clear. [insertcoolnamehere] is your masterwork adamantine battle axe. Clutched in your hand it claimed the lives of half a dozen forgotten frights and a number of goblin ones well beyound any numbers. You are legendary in killing things that move. So how in the name of chaos gods did that elf even survive the first hit?! I know that there's always a miniscule of chance for some crazy thing to happen, and you promptly proceeded to dismember the elf in question afterwards, but DEFLECTED? The thing that cuts through rock like buter with a plant cloth?
I don't want to accuse one of our immortals of treason, really. Otherwise, you'd be diving into the sea of flames. Without your gear and anyone asking you anything.
Eesh. That might be worse than the adamantine-piercing wood bolts. Either that, or you should develop rope reed armor.
Logged
Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Corai

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3804 on: June 11, 2012, 02:05:46 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Dear everyone who is partying,

...

~Giant Sponge

Dear Giant Sponge,


I hate you. You stole my title!

Hate, elephants.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Monk321654

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3805 on: June 11, 2012, 02:08:16 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Dear everyone who is partying,

...

~Giant Sponge

Dear Giant Sponge,


I hate you. You stole my title!

Hate, elephants.

Dear Elephants,

Now now, don't hold too much of a grudge.

Once, when I was young, I was revered just as you were in your time.
Don't take it too personally.

Sincerely, Carp.
Logged
This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

WillowLuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3806 on: June 11, 2012, 02:10:53 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Dear everyone who is partying,

...

~Giant Sponge

Dear Giant Sponge,


I hate you. You stole my title!

Hate, elephants.

Dear Elephants,

Now now, don't hold too much of a grudge.

Once, when I was young, I was revered just as you were in your time.
Don't take it too personally.

Sincerely, Carp.
Bomrek wretches.
Bomrek vomits into Giant Sponge.
Logged
Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Monk321654

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3807 on: June 11, 2012, 02:13:42 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Dear everyone who is partying,

...

~Giant Sponge

Dear Giant Sponge,


I hate you. You stole my title!

Hate, elephants.

Dear Elephants,

Now now, don't hold too much of a grudge.

Once, when I was young, I was revered just as you were in your time.
Don't take it too personally.

Sincerely, Carp.
Bomrek wretches.
Bomrek vomits into Giant Sponge.

Dear Bomrek,

You're thinking of retches, not wretches.
Retching is to attempt to vomit, wretches are vile people.

Sincerely, Adil Goldbook, Human Linguist.
Logged
This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Corai

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3808 on: June 11, 2012, 02:15:22 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Dear everyone who is partying,

...

~Giant Sponge

Dear Giant Sponge,


I hate you. You stole my title!

Hate, elephants.

Dear Elephants,

Now now, don't hold too much of a grudge.

Once, when I was young, I was revered just as you were in your time.
Don't take it too personally.

Sincerely, Carp.
Bomrek wretches.
Bomrek vomits into Giant Sponge.

Dear Bomrek,

You're thinking of retches, not wretches.
Retching is to attempt to vomit, wretches are vile people.

Sincerely, Adil Goldbook, Human Linguist.

Dear Bomrek,


Your no dwarf! Dwarves dont get drunk that easily! Round 'im up boys!

Sincerly, a time-traveling human adventurer from the next update.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Fniff

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3809 on: June 11, 2012, 02:18:23 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Dear everyone who is partying,

...

~Giant Sponge

Dear Giant Sponge,


I hate you. You stole my title!

Hate, elephants.

Dear Elephants,

Now now, don't hold too much of a grudge.

Once, when I was young, I was revered just as you were in your time.
Don't take it too personally.

Sincerely, Carp.
Bomrek wretches.
Bomrek vomits into Giant Sponge.

Dear Bomrek,

You're thinking of retches, not wretches.
Retching is to attempt to vomit, wretches are vile people.

Sincerely, Adil Goldbook, Human Linguist.

Dear party,

Wouldn't be a party without us!

- Ghosts
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