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[Corai]

How does he lift that hammer?

Must be so stealthy that he smuggled in an entire pack animal to carry it then smuggled them all out together, that's how!

Or Armok decided to be a troll and gave that kobold superkobold strengh.

[WillowLuman]

How does he lift that hammer?

Must be so stealthy that he smuggled in an entire pack animal to carry it then smuggled them all out together, that's how!

Or Armok decided to be a troll and gave that kobold superkobold strengh.

I know of only one kobold with that power... but probably not. More likely this kobold just dragged it slowly off while disguising it as a bush.

[Corai]

How does he lift that hammer?

Must be so stealthy that he smuggled in an entire pack animal to carry it then smuggled them all out together, that's how!

Or Armok decided to be a troll and gave that kobold superkobold strengh.

I know of only one kobold with that power... but probably not. More likely this kobold just dragged it slowly off while disguising it as a bush.

Or....


We must make a thread, for this event.

[WillowLuman]

Or maybe this whole thread can become derailed into an epic RP.

Nah
Dear Giant Mantis

WTF I didn't know they had you in this game? F*ck humans I wanna play as you! Go ahead, eat my terminally stupid woodcutter. I need to go change your raws right now!

[Flying Fortress]

Dear UristMcMayor

I don't care about, nor can I accomplish, your multiple large gem mandates when I don't even have a gem cutter yet.  In fact I also don't care that you've been unhappy lately, I have better things to worry about then your happiness.  This large above ground fort won't designate and micro-manage itself you know.  So I kindly ask that you report to the 'Get out of my face' room as soon as the miners are done digging it out.

Signed,
Your noble hating overseer.

[jaxy15]

Dear Urist McMason,

There is a stone stockpile right freaking next to you. Don't go downstairs for stone.

Sincerely, overseer

[Wyrmnax]

Dear Urist McExMother.

Taking joy in slaugher when the only thing you ever killed was your own berzerking child is straining. Go get some beer.

The Overseer.

[ZeroSumHappiness]

I gave birth, so I'm happy.  But my baby died, so I'm sad.  But I got to kill it, so I'm happy.

I love dwarves.

[Eric Blank]

Dear dorfs of The Maze of Glory,

There is a dragon outside. I want all the gates shut and everyone to report to the bunkers. After everyone has made it inside and it's locked out, I want cage traps prepared to capture it.

Don't fudge this up, or it'll roast you all, and I will help it.

Sincerely, Overseer of horrible death maze The Maze of Glory.

P.S. Nevermind, the human caravan fucked it up FOR you. You're excused, this time.


Dear Human Caravan Guards.

Why can't you just burn to death!? I wanted that dragon alive!

Sincerely, the overseer of the fortress that is about to sic the militia on you.

[hiroshi42]

Dear haulers of Axegrotto:

In the future please refrain from displacing the nesting exotic animals while they are on their nest boxes.  The hatchery layout was recently altered to allow for a two urist gap between each box and yet you morons chose the direct route.  If my cave dragons don't hatch two of you are going over the falls.

Dear Onget Laboredivory, animal trainer:

I was hoping that you would be slightly more intelligent than the haulers, but walking along the entire row of occupied nest boxes.  If nothing hatches by next year you and two lucky haulers will enjoy an all expense paid trip to the bottom of Urist falls.

Dear children of Axegrotto:

Please keep in mind that in addition to the natural waterfall in their bedrooms, your parents also enjoy a mist generator and masterwork gold furniture in the dining room.  I could probably throw half of you over the falls and everyone else would still be ecstatic. YOU ARE EXPENDABLE.

Dear mayor Aban Bridgehame The Diamond Lure of Attics:

Besides your slight quern fetish you are a remarkably competent leader.  Please note that you have been appointed to the position of Mayor for Life and we will be making this official the next time those pansies from the mountainhomes decide to visit.

With annoyance, Me.

P.S. I am loving this waterfall, it's a natural execution tower with a drowning pit.

[Firehawk45]

Dear dorfs of The Maze of Glory,

There is a dragon outside. I want all the gates shut and everyone to report to the bunkers. After everyone has made it inside and it's locked out, I want cage traps prepared to capture it.

Don't fudge this up, or it'll roast you all, and I will help it.

Sincerely, Overseer of horrible death maze The Maze of Glory.

P.S. Nevermind, the human caravan fucked it up FOR you. You're excused, this time.


Dear Human Caravan Guards.

Why can't you just burn to death!? I wanted that dragon alive!

Sincerely, the overseer of the fortress that is about to sic the militia on you.

You prevented the dwarfs from screwing something up.... You basically SCREAMED to Armok to send something that will take this part out of the hands of your minions dwarfs. enjoy the human slaughter

[ZeroSumHappiness]

Dear haulers of Axegrotto:

In the future please refrain from displacing the nesting exotic animals while they are on their nest boxes.  The hatchery layout was recently altered to allow for a two urist gap between each box and yet you morons chose the direct route.

Dear Overseer,

We didn't see your designation to avoid those nest boxes.  Why don't  you designate them as restricted so we can avoid them when trying to walk through that area.

Thank You,
Haulers Guild of Axegrotto

[GreatWyrmGold]

Catching up on the stupidity, I noticed this:

Dear Urist McMilitarySquad4
Please learn from the deaths of Urist McMilitarySquad3, and equip your armor at all times as ordered.  Also, learn from the bold actions of Urist McLegendaryMinerSquad and put the pointy bits toward the enemy.  Report to Goblin Fun Chamber #9 for training.

...Who has NINE goblin fun chambers?

More recently:

How does he lift that hammer?

Must be so stealthy that he smuggled in an entire pack animal to carry it then smuggled them all out together, that's how!

Erm, slade hammers probably weigh more than the pack animal. Unless he smuggled in a dragon or sea serpent or something.

I gave birth, so I'm happy.  But my baby died, so I'm sad.  But I got to kill it, so I'm happy.

I love dwarves.

Well, this might not be THAT unrealistic, depending on how much the baby was crying...

[krenshala]

I gave birth, so I'm happy.  But my baby died, so I'm sad.  But I got to kill it, so I'm happy.

I love dwarves.

Well, this might not be THAT unrealistic, depending on how much the baby was crying...

Having a 6yo son, I can confirm that its a miracle any child reaches puberty, let alone adulthood.  I wonder how I wasn't gleefully murdered considering I remember what I was like as a child (as bad as my son).

[Garath]

I gave birth, so I'm happy.  But my baby died, so I'm sad.  But I got to kill it, so I'm happy.

I love dwarves.

Well, this might not be THAT unrealistic, depending on how much the baby was crying...

Having a 6yo son, I can confirm that its a miracle any child reaches puberty, let alone adulthood.  I wonder how I wasn't gleefully murdered considering I remember what I was like as a child (as bad as my son).

I love DF people

also, for everyone who keeps on crying about too many migrants:
Learn how the fucking pop_cap works in d_init and stop hurting my good mood. Yes, this is me in a good mood, you want me in a bad mood?

To the person a lot earlier complaining about child cap: It stops new pregnancies, not existing ones, nor migrating kids, so you were just too late setting it. Try setting it right at the embark and watch it work. Keep in mind that migrant children don't count towards the cap untill they arrive and some dwarfs might already be pregnant, etc etc... so YES, unless you set it at day 1 and set it all at 1, it's going to take time before you notice the results.


you know what, raging is fin, I should do it more often
 

Oh right, I just bought some weird warhammer off of a kobold for 2 urists, anyone willing to buy it?