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Finally... => Forum Games and Roleplaying => Roll To Dodge => Topic started by: hops on January 26, 2013, 10:12:24 am

Title: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: hops on January 26, 2013, 10:12:24 am
So long ago, when the dwarves finally decided to flood the whole world with magma and change the overworld into one giant fortress. With the tyrannical yet mysterious ruling strategy of the Overseer, the ultimate ruler of the Great Fortress, there had been peace

Well, kind of, anyways, there are almost constantly riots, just because dwarves tend to start trying to kill each other when bored, but like you said, almost peace. The fort didn't tear itself up in some civil war or something.

You are one of the bookkeepers spread around the fortress to count and foresee the economy, and that had freed up most of your schedule. The Overseer seems to be unable to see the difference between you sitting and calculating and you sitting and procrastinating.

You have been calculating the age of the world from the microcline statue standing by your desk. Its age ended abruptly, as if the element was conjured instantly out of thin air. And before its creation there was oblivion, then... you had a glimpse of what lied before oblivion.



The world has been reset many times, probably by The Overseer, or maybe his "Blood God"

You're on to this mystery, you do not like the prospect of ceasing to exist.


You sit in your golden study, it is a gigantic room filled with elaborate golden statues decorated with the god metal, Adamantine. The microcline statue by your golden desk was the reminder of your study when you were just starting out on this job.

The door stands at the opposite wall, perhaps you might be able to sneak out, and the Overseer won't notice. It's not like he's omniscient, or something, that would be preposterous.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: scapheap on January 26, 2013, 10:25:13 am
Go for a drink, what with being a dwarf and all.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: hops on January 26, 2013, 10:36:19 am
Go for a drink, what with being a dwarf and all.

2: You scoot over with your wheeled armchair to the control panel to press the REQUEST BOOZE button. Nothing happened.

Looks like there's some corpse clogging up the serving computer.

Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: scapheap on January 26, 2013, 11:03:09 am
Go for a wonder.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: GreatWyrmGold on January 26, 2013, 11:14:57 am
Locate a book.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: rabidgam3r on January 26, 2013, 11:25:28 am
Locate 'Overseer: Fact or Fiction?' and secretly read it, and then burn it to earn the Overseer's trust.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: hops on January 27, 2013, 09:01:46 pm
Go for a wonder.

6: You probably meant wander, but before you realize that you had already created Nīmugog, an artifact slade pen.
You have no idea how you got that slade, but anyways you have drawn the Overseer's attention.

Locate a book.

1: Nope. Dwarves think that books are blasphemy. They write by engraving instead.

Locate 'Overseer: Fact or Fiction?' and secretly read it, and then burn it to earn the Overseer's trust.

6: In the dark corner of the fortress there lie the most blasphemous engraving in existence. It is made by you, but you decided that it would be too risky, so you went to destroy it.

The Overseer is pleased by your action (you have no idea how he saw you, but yeah) and rewards you with a royal quarter. You can hear the anguished cry of a noble far on the other side of the fort.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: NoahTophatz on January 27, 2013, 09:06:24 pm
insult that noble for all dwarves hate them
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: Corai on January 27, 2013, 09:08:21 pm
Look for something that will give us information on the overseer. But do it as if we are simply looking at our collection.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: Gentlefish on January 28, 2013, 12:02:22 am
Admire own fine sock.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: Fireiy on January 28, 2013, 12:08:45 am
PTW
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: hops on January 29, 2013, 01:02:04 am
insult that noble for all dwarves hate them

Technically, you are a noble, but whatever.

6: Your colorful display of language towards the Baron has given you more approval from the Overseer, but less to politicians. You will have to watch out for assassins.

Look for something that will give us information on the overseer. But do it as if we are simply looking at our collection.

4: You take a visit to this sector's library, and by library you mean a meeting hall that is always misty. There is an insane scrawling that you recognize to be the beardwriting of the bookkeeper before you. He died long ago, but probably it's so hard to see in the halls that nobody noticed them. It seems to be something about "PCs" and "bugfest". You use your powerful photographic memory to inscribe it in your mind and read it later.

Admire own fine sock.

6: You admire the Giant Cave Spider silk sock on your feet. You have a lot more of these, all hidden in the caverns below.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: Corai on January 29, 2013, 01:04:08 am
Continue investigating. Must find the source of this "Overseer" soon...
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: Gentlefish on January 29, 2013, 01:18:47 am
Ponder on the meaning of bugfest. Consume plump helmet biscuit.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: hops on January 29, 2013, 10:31:05 am
Continue investigating. Must find the source of this "Overseer" soon...

You review what you know in your hefty tome, entitled "Cat Leather Socks: Fact or Fiction", written using your alias.
Currently only a page of it contains something of use. But you'll change that soon as you go on with your investigation.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You really doubt anyone would read it. Only legendary bookkeepers are capable of reading, and most of them goes insane before they had a chance to try to read something from a book, not to mention books are so rare you could easily say that you're holding the last book in existence.

2: You decided to examine with your minds eye the engraving you remembered earlier, but it is now gobbledygook to you. It's probably just soberness messing with your head, you really forgot to go grab a booze after that control panel got stuck.

Ponder on the meaning of bugfest. Consume plump helmet biscuit.

1: You ponder on the meaning of "bugfest" and could not think of anything other than insects. By Armok, your headache is getting worse just as soon as you noticed. You also for some reason decided to nab a plump helmet biscuit to eat even though you're not hungry.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: GreatWyrmGold on January 29, 2013, 06:38:38 pm
Admire own fine sock.

6: You admire the Giant Cave Spider silk sock on your feet. You have a lot more of these, all hidden in the caverns below.
Oh, goody!

Grab a drink. Send some lazy worthless cheesemakers to the caverns to retrieve your socks. Tell them that whoever returns with the most socks gets a free pair of socks, with the second-placer getting a single free sock. Three socks in exchange for a lot more socks, plus clearing fortress rabble? Sounds good.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: Corai on January 29, 2013, 07:05:00 pm
Search around for ANYONE who MAY know how to read. Surely there has to be another.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: hops on January 31, 2013, 10:08:54 am
Grab a drink.

5: You grabbed a drink. It happens to be a really good one. Your head is clear now.
 
Send some lazy worthless cheesemakers to the caverns to retrieve your socks. Tell them that whoever returns with the most socks gets a free pair of socks, with the second-placer getting a single free sock.

While you would like to see your precious socks, you stashed them there for a reason. It is said that a shadowy organisation of kobolds is attempting rebellion against the Overseer. Many things have gone missing. Including some nobles, but you're pretty sure that's the Overseer taking the opportunity to off them in secret.

Search around for ANYONE who MAY know how to read. Surely there has to be another.

6: Before you close your book, you noticed a single strand of beard. It is red. Your beard is black.

URISTBERG
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: Gentlefish on January 31, 2013, 03:56:46 pm
Find

URISTBERG
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: Corai on January 31, 2013, 05:03:16 pm
Find

URISTBERG

Secretly, so the Overseer doesn't notice us.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: hops on March 03, 2013, 01:59:32 am
Find

URISTBERG

Secretly, so the Overseer doesn't notice us.

Pfft. The Overseer is probably too occupied with other micromanagement to worry about a bookkeeper.

2: The Overseer briefly observed you going off to 'Conduct Meeting' with Uristberg, luckily, he doesn't think it is of much importance, and went back to farming mermaid bones.

You step into a giant glass ball and locked it, and rolled into the waterlock which opened and inserted you into the tubes of the fortress' transportation aqueducts system.

Five minutes of tumbling in a reinforced glass ball  carried by turbulent water, and you reached your destination. You recall the map of this sector, and headed off immediately to find Uristberg.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: Corai on March 03, 2013, 04:09:57 am
Pray to whatever gods we worship the Overseer doesn't notice the single dwarf off where it shouldn't be.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: hops on April 12, 2013, 02:12:18 am
Pray to whatever gods we worship the Overseer doesn't notice the single dwarf off where it shouldn't be.

6: You pray to your god Sethal the Mysterious Lie, patron god to thieves, con artists, and liars. In this little rebel mission you have to be glad that you happen to be an ex-thief.

Sethal happened to hear you, and incidentally he seemed to be totally fine about helping you on a quest that might probably save his ass as well. He granted you some luck.

The massive divine stare on you, however, is making you feel faint.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: hops on October 25, 2013, 04:44:09 am
Reviving this because I'm too lazy to update Wars of Failsword right now.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: ICBM pilot on October 26, 2013, 01:30:47 am
kill nobles to gain more trust
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: hops on October 26, 2013, 01:54:17 am
kill nobles to gain more trust

You are a noble, and you happen to know most of them. Killing them wouldn't help much on your sanity.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: Xantalos on October 26, 2013, 01:55:37 am
Uh.
What were we doing again?
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: Empiricist on October 26, 2013, 02:09:21 am
Act possessed and investigate the workshops, gathering evidence and random materials before stockpiling them. Continue doing so without indicating your true intent.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: rabidgam3r on October 26, 2013, 05:54:26 pm
Uh.
What were we doing again?

We were assassinating maiming hunting TALKING TO

URISTBERG
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: ICBM pilot on October 27, 2013, 05:03:24 am
find
URISTBERG
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: hops on November 02, 2013, 05:00:13 am
Act possessed and investigate the workshops, gathering evidence and random materials before stockpiling them. Continue doing so without indicating your true intent.

4: You pretend to be possessed and walked to the nearby mason workshop and kicked the mason out.
"Here we go again" the mason said as he shuffled off to report your possession to the Overseer. And by shuffled off you meant he instantly informed the Overseer via telepathy.

2: Already having a keen interest on you, the Overseer decides to keep his eyes on you. You don't think you thought this plan out very well.
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: ICBM pilot on November 03, 2013, 10:32:43 pm
make an artifact adamintine 2h sword
Title: Re: You are a conspiracy theorist bookkeeper
Post by: Fireiy on November 03, 2013, 10:43:37 pm
make an artifact adamintine 2h sword
No no, make Nīmugog V2