Yes. I know. Unfortunately, last time I tried to talk to a doctor I immediately went into people pleaser mode and just said the meds were great even though there have been side effects and I'm not taking them properly. And my wife is just stressing me out. Anytime I bring it up its go to a doctor and I shut down emotionally and just agree even though I don't want to go. I just fucking don't. And I think I don't want to because I'm afraid and suppressing it. I don't know.
Funny thing, I asked my therapist on time why she reckoned people don't like going to the doctor when it won't make a difference, and in fact can only help, and the answer she gave me was pretty much "People don't like knowing something's wrong. Once they know it, they can't ignore it any more"
'Can only help'
Oh, my sides, they be splitting. Remind me to tell you sometime about the foot infection my sister's mother in law got, and the doctors put a cast on it and told her everything was fine it until the damn thing practically rotted off. I'd rather be treated by a vet than a doctor any day of the week.
Not all docs are soulless idiots who prescribe shit you don't need for conditions you don't have because it might line their pockets, but they exist.
If you need to go, you need to go, but 'can only help' is a fairy tale.