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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 742727 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8805 on: March 24, 2018, 11:14:15 am »

A

"Sir, we have discovered rumors that Eval may harbor nationalistic separatist sentiment and that this may pose some problems with regard to their overall obedience to the Empire's authority."
« Last Edit: March 24, 2018, 11:45:08 am by Harry Baldman »
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Arlos

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8806 on: March 24, 2018, 11:20:30 am »

A
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10ebbor10

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8807 on: March 24, 2018, 11:21:45 am »

A
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8808 on: March 24, 2018, 11:24:46 am »

A
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8809 on: March 24, 2018, 12:25:17 pm »

A
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8810 on: March 24, 2018, 12:46:27 pm »

A

"Sir, we have discovered rumors that Eval may harbor nationalistic separatist sentiment and that this may pose some problems with regard to their overall obedience to the Empire's authority."

That's too good for the spymaster.

I'm guessing something more like "Sir, we have word that two or more powerful nations in the area might have some sort of hostilities with each other. We're working on tracking down exactly what nations these might be and how hostile they actually are with each other."
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8811 on: March 24, 2018, 01:47:24 pm »

A Here's hopin' for some good news.  :-\
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8812 on: March 24, 2018, 01:57:08 pm »

A

 when talking with damdamians we should try to convince their diplomats that the first one was an idiot (or our father wasn't the best with the words) and was giving wrong info to their troops, or just cover that they are meddling with a casus bellis where they weren't invited
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Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8813 on: March 24, 2018, 02:02:10 pm »

You decide to meet with the Spymaster first.

In the side corridor, he leans to your ear.

"Sire, the Evalians have managed to rout the Damdamian force that tried to establish themselves in that region, causing them thousands of casualties and capturing lots of supplies and even few dozen Fireblood machines. They are currently chasing some wayward Lametanian raider groups across the countryside of their province. My agents met with these Evalian 'patriots'; they expect to be rewarded for their efforts with independence or autonomy of some sort."

"Is that all?"

He nods, and with knowledge that Damdamians lost one of their objectives, you return to the audience room and let the diplomat in along with his dozen of guards.

"Emperor Houlandin II!" He begins with angry tone. "Your father has begun, and you are continuing, an unlawful and barbaric assault upon the fatherland of our friends, Lametanians. We possess advantage both in numbers, supplies and weaponry. But the casualties are mounting, and they include the previous Emperor of Methiant. Therefore, Crown Prince Lupus Onigirus Rucus offers a treaty, which copy I've brought to you." He takes out a scroll from beneath his robes and unfolds it.

"The Emperor of Methiant will issue formal apology to the peoples of Rucus and Lametania for causing this war. Empire of Methiant will send its yearly quantity of silver and gemstones to repay the peoples of Rucus and Lametania for their lost sons and fathers. Furthermore, the province of Eval will be released from Methiantese Empire, allowing peoples of Eval to choose whether they will remain a separate nation or if they shall return to Kingdom of Lametania." He folds the scroll and looks at you.

"Crown Prince however has noted certain 'qualities' of Methiantese leaders both modern and previous, and therefore I was given the right to negotiate on the Prince's behalf."

You decide to...

A) Accept all these conditions, as they're somewhat generous.
B) Attempt to negotiate some better deal. After all, they expect us to!
C) Throw the insolent diplomat into the dungeon and resume the war.
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8814 on: March 24, 2018, 02:08:16 pm »

B - they are definitely reaching with the Eval bit, but the reparations and apology are reasonable. We're an enlightened monarch, after all, unlike our father! Surely there can be some compromise between our peoples in the interest of a lasting peace.

Should definitely reward the Evalians though, they've done good. Maybe upgrade them to vassal status or something.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2018, 02:10:03 pm by Harry Baldman »
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8815 on: March 24, 2018, 02:13:44 pm »

We are continuing? Whose army is attacking on whose soil?

B

Actually, we can use the Evalian autonomy thing, since it looks like we'd be doing that anyway for our friends the "patriots." If we're quick we can get something from both sides on that count.
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milo christiansen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8816 on: March 24, 2018, 02:26:01 pm »

Should definitely reward the Evalians though, they've done good. Maybe upgrade them to vassal status or something.

Yeah, they get to be an imperial client state rather than a direct territory after this. We still rule, but they get some more wiggle room for local laws and such.

Anyway, B, certainly NOT A
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After all, coke is for furnaces, not for snorting.
You're not true dwarven royalty unless you own the complete 'Signature Collection' baby-bone bedroom set from NOKEAS

helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8817 on: March 24, 2018, 02:27:21 pm »

B

May go c if they don't move well.
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Rockeater

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8818 on: March 24, 2018, 02:31:14 pm »

B
Not A, Maybe C later
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8819 on: March 24, 2018, 02:37:03 pm »

B
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