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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 742615 times)

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9900 on: April 14, 2018, 03:00:09 pm »

You decide to keep the funeral modest and for Cyl's coffin to be interred in the family tombs.

Quote
4

You decision made quite few people grumble, but thankfully Shadowranks and Spymaster's agents prevented any violence or other incidents.

After the funeral, you receive news that dwarves have arrived to negotiate. The bearded, pudgy creatures clad in most gaudy of purple and golden cloaks bow their bald heads before you.

"Greetings, Emperor! Per call by your predecessor, we're here to negotiate exchange of Methiantese gold for Dwarven steel. Not many of humans have priviledge of using this stainless, rust-less metal for their personal use, you should feel honored already! It makes for the best swords and axes, and arrowtips and spearheads. Our mines and furnaces at Zonalath could easily smelt enough steel to supply several regiments worth of Methiantese soldiers per month."

The Advisor and the Marshal discuss the thing between themselves as the Dwarven negotiator continues to praise their metalwork.

Finally, the Advisor leans down to you and whispers.

"Your Majesty, if we were to use Dwarven steel on greater scale, the Marshal believes we would need at least five years worth of it to fully equip our Army with dwarven weapons. On other hand, a specialzied unit of shock cavalry or maybe heavy infantry, armored and equipped in all-Dwarven equipment could be fielded in a year. But that's decision for later."

"And your leaders want Methiantese gold, mined in northwest, in exchange for steel deliveries?"

"Yes, all of it, even the smallest of nuggets."

A) "That is a good trade if you ask me. Let's seal the deal!"
B) "That is too much of a price. Can we talk about something cheaper?"
C) "I don't think we will be getting anywhere with this. Pleasant journey home, dwarves."
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9901 on: April 14, 2018, 03:05:58 pm »

A We've already have plenty of trade goods that generate money. I think trading the gold for Dwarven steel will be worth it as both a military investment and as a tool for building closer ties to the Dwarves.
Logged
.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9902 on: April 14, 2018, 03:07:18 pm »

C

Nah, if they're the ones to smelt it we don't want the steel. Gold is like 2 Econ and we're currently approaching bankruptcy. Maybe some other time!
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9903 on: April 14, 2018, 03:07:29 pm »

B
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9904 on: April 14, 2018, 03:08:49 pm »

Our army is pretty tough already, and I don't feel like being beholden to the Dwarves for supplies. Yoe III may not have Cyl's history, but he's surely wise enough to have studied on it.

B

I believe the gold mine is worth 1 Econ/year; there was no mention of being exceptionally rich.
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crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9905 on: April 14, 2018, 03:11:42 pm »

A.
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nothing here.

Rockeater

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9906 on: April 14, 2018, 03:13:55 pm »

B
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

Chiefwaffles

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9907 on: April 14, 2018, 03:16:48 pm »

C
Relying on the Dwarves has historically been a bad move. If they're not giving us the capabilities to do it ourselves, we shouldn't accept. We can't afford to make all the deals we get offered just 'cause.
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Quote from: RAM
You should really look to the wilderness for your stealth ideas, it has been doing it much longer than you have after all. Take squids for example, that ink trick works pretty well, and in water too! So you just sneak into the dam upsteam, dump several megatons of distressed squid into it, then break the dam. Boom, you suddenly have enough water-proof stealth for a whole city!

helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9908 on: April 14, 2018, 03:19:18 pm »

B

Just enough for a shock troop.

We are rapidly moving towards our death reeds, and I don't know how much it would help there. Something to strengthen our front line though, would be more than welcome.
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9909 on: April 14, 2018, 03:20:50 pm »

I don't like the deal, we need the money, but I see no harm in taking a shot at B.
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omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9910 on: April 14, 2018, 03:25:23 pm »

They promised to share the secrets, not to just buy metal.

B
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9911 on: April 14, 2018, 03:57:46 pm »

B - They promised the Secret of Steel, not steel weapons. Not like the secret is gonna be cheaper mind, but this feels like the only option where we can point that out.
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9912 on: April 14, 2018, 04:01:19 pm »

and are even considering sharing the secrets of dwarven steel with you.

They didn't actually promise anything. It just says they're considering it.
Logged
.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9913 on: April 14, 2018, 04:03:39 pm »

 And we're considering giving them money for it. We can both play this game.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9914 on: April 14, 2018, 04:06:45 pm »

Prophet is right :P



You attempt to negotiate the price of dwarven steel.

Quote
2

After a long while, the offended dwarves pack up and leave, telling you that they were clearly mistaken about the worth of Methiant's men and wealth.

Few days later, your cousin nephew Cyl, son of Erik, arrives with some courtiers to pay respects at the grave of Cyl, your father. Sometimes you wish his name wasn't so damn popular.

The visit is curt and all that Cyl does in matters of politics, is to reaffirm the alliance treaty between Methiant and Cydwyl. However, mayhaps he can be persuaded to talk about...

A) Family!
B) Trade!
C) Army!
D) Religion!
E) Weather.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2018, 04:18:31 pm by Haspen »
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.
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