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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 745312 times)

Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14280 on: August 29, 2018, 10:12:26 am »

C
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14281 on: August 29, 2018, 10:18:18 am »

A

Maybe we can use that new gem mine to pay for a regular calendar of festivities.


This is all fine and nice, but only every few months. Once a year, maybe. In the morning, you dismiss the pretty things to better deal with the head-splitting hangover.

You ought to establish some festival schedule or something.
You know the hedonist in us wants it.
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14282 on: August 29, 2018, 10:51:21 am »

A over all it’s pointless and overall detrimental to not do this.

Maybe we can use that new gem mine to pay for a regular calendar of festivities.

This is all fine and nice, but only every few months. Once a year, maybe. In the morning, you dismiss the pretty things to better deal with the head-splitting hangover.

You ought to establish some festival schedule or something.
You know the hedonist in us wants it.
neat idea we should do this after we have lifted our imperial authority from the gutter.
« Last Edit: August 29, 2018, 10:57:06 am by Basil ii »
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14283 on: August 29, 2018, 11:08:46 am »

The whole point is to improve happiness and lift our image out of the gutter.
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14284 on: August 29, 2018, 11:11:22 am »

The whole point is to improve happiness and lift our image out of the gutter.
but we still need imperial authority to enact edicts that I think we don’t really have after all the scandals come to think about it it’s kind dumb that the peasants would take issue that we give them a festival regardless of our authority oh well.
« Last Edit: August 29, 2018, 11:33:43 am by Basil ii »
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TankKit

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14285 on: August 29, 2018, 11:33:19 am »

C
I am very tempted to go C though.
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14286 on: August 29, 2018, 11:33:34 am »

You decide to prevent the situation from worsening by sending some money to the poorest and most desperate of families in the south.

1195 AD, Late Winter

Quote
6

This approach has worked not only in dissuading other peasants from taking up arms and having the already angry ones to calm down, but for other disgruntled men to (quietly) praise you for your generosity.

1195 AD, End of the Year

Finally! You can see the Scrolls of Kingdom Status with your own eyes!

Quote
2to4, 1to4(1to4)

Happiness: 6
Population: 6
Economy: 12!
Army: 9
Imp.Authority: 0

"Your Majesty! Our Empire has amassed lots of wealth this year, both from trade and plunder and mineral deposits. Even the Treasurer himself is urging you to spend it on something useful or fancy, sire."

A) We will donate some of it to the poor and the needy!
B) Sponsor creation of an bronze-cast statue of yourself!
C) Seek the services of a traveling and powerful Sorceress.
D) Send a lavish gift to one of neighbouring countries.
E) Expand the budget of the Army, so it can maintain even greater numbers.
F) Time to ask the dwarves to commission us a powerful artifact of sorts!

"The Army recuperated its losses from Parsian campaign somewhat, and the authority of Imperial Throne is rising from the abyss it was just a year ago... mayhaps you would like to issue an Edict?"

A) "As much as it pains me, I must once again decline - even if we really should expand our bureaucratic machine, the general situation and atmosphere of the land prohibits such drastic measures to be stamped with the Imperial seal!"
B) "OK!"

"Furthermore, the scribes finished updating the Imperial Map. Please have a look, my liege."

« Last Edit: August 29, 2018, 11:41:45 am by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14287 on: August 29, 2018, 11:35:07 am »

FB we need another magic succession staff to secure our diplo annex of cydwyl.
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14288 on: August 29, 2018, 11:35:48 am »

DA Sending Cydwyl a gift may make our inheritance easier and smoother.
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vastaghen12

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14289 on: August 29, 2018, 11:39:09 am »

DA
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Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14290 on: August 29, 2018, 11:39:55 am »

FB

Our inheritance of Cydwyl does not appear to be in any dispute at this juncture.
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14291 on: August 29, 2018, 11:39:59 am »

Sending Cydwyl a gift may make our inheritance easier and smoother.
but the staff would help us with diplo annexations after cydwyl.
Our inheritance of Cydwyl does not appear to be in any dispute at this juncture.
wasn’t there a cydwyl faction that wished to stop our future union with cydwyl they might still be around.
« Last Edit: August 29, 2018, 11:45:28 am by Basil ii »
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14292 on: August 29, 2018, 11:50:58 am »

FB
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TankKit

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14293 on: August 29, 2018, 11:52:35 am »

FB
More artifacts!
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14294 on: August 29, 2018, 11:54:11 am »

MILITARY EDICTS:

Matters of military hierarchy, philosophy of war and development of military tech.

-

BUREAUCRATIC EDICTS:

Matters of administration and government.

Issue the Bill of Rights:
A standarized code of basic laws of the common peoples. Even if peasants will have nothing else left, they will always have their basic freedoms, helping ease their minds in times of emergency - and perhaps allow the spirit of liberty and humanism to blossom (for good or worse).

Establish Passage Tax: (once in effect: 1142 - 1169 AD)
All those travelers, adventurers, merchants and others are moving through the country for free! Let's establish a tax for those entering and leaving our country - this will earn us nice profits each year, although it might slow down immigration and convince some merchants to seek passage through elsewhere.

Establish Scaling Tax:
At the moment, people are taxed on per-household basis. Let's squeeze extra money from those who earn a lot; noblemen with holdings, successful craftsmen and rich merchants. Of course, all of these might not like the idea of having to pay more than a lowly peasant working the fields.

Matters of religion, culture and art.

Establish Calendar of Festivities:
Rather than throw a festival every few years to celebrate a bontiful harvest, let's instead establish a cyclic and stable calendar of state-sponsored festivities for the whole year. This will cause a drain on the Treasury, but hey - people love festivals!

Proclaim Religious Equality: (once in effect: 1135 - 1172 AD)
Travelers, merchants, immigrants; they all bring new beliefs and philosophies into the country. Rather than fight those foreign influences, it might be best to allow all peoples free worship on equal level no matter the size and beliefs of the congregation, to help all different worshippers achieve a certain degree to harmony and peace.

Pass Advancement of Religion Act:
To ensure that the state faith continues to remain strong and undivided, we should sponsor religious studies and schools as well as institute calendar of theological councils to quickly address changing times in the country and influence of foreign cultures and religions upon our Imperial subjects.

Enforce Religious Unity:
Strengthen the nation and culture of the Empire by disallowing foreign faiths to preach freely in the Empire, as well as prevent rise of sects, zealots and fanatical schismatics amongst the clergy by declaring heresy a crime against the Empire, the Emperor, and his subjects.

Promote Missionary Orders:
Promote our faith outside the Imperial borders with monetary and political support from the Crown for the preachers and missionary groups. This will surely strengthen our state religion, on the other hand, it will probably upset religious minorities within the borders and our 'heathen' neighbours outside them.

---

REVOKE EDICT: Revokes a previously implemented edict, either to cut spending, appease some disgruntled subjects, or both. On the other hand, it might tick off some other peoples, potentially causing a deadly cascade of discontent.

Late Spring, 1135 AD: Established the Fireblood Court:
Creation of a specialized military branch devoted purely to development of Fireblood arms to ensure they are aplenty and of best designs around. This will allow to centralize the production, research and budgeting of Fireblood weaponry rather than having some errant alchemists and engineers running around, trying to make things happen.

End of Year 1139 AD: Established Recruitment Offices:
Mandatory training for youths is a good thing, but after bloodier-than-usual wars, there might be shortage of men to replenish the ranks. If we were to expand on the royal bureaucracy to include offices for traveling civilian recruiters and offer citizenship grants for mercenaries and travelers looking for a new home, our Army could refill its ranks much faster.

End of Year 1140 AD: Established The Council of Statesmen:
Creation of a small council of governmental officials who will be tasked with helping the government run smoother alongside traditional advisors, and, of course, the monarch himself. This will help strengthen the Imperial Authority, even in dire times, and help pass edicts quicker, although giving even more political power away from the throne than in the past might become a source of troubles one day.

End of Year 1146 AD: Established Diplomatic Corps:
Creation of a small but highly professional cabinet of diplomats and ambassadors that would visit neighbouring countries on regular basis to strengthen ties with nearby rulers and their nobles, and maybe even develop favorable treaties with them.

Summer 1152 AD: Issued the Codex of Training Regimen:
A set of efficient (and slightly draconian) requirements and practices of training to ensure that the Army gets only the best recruits of them all. This will make the Army much better in combat, although there might be a problem to fill yearly recruitment quotas sometimes.

End of Year 1153 AD: Established the Shadowranks:
Politics often involve underhanded tactics. A castle full of commoner staff and visiting foreigners just asks for a disaster to occur. Let's have the military form a professional division of most loyal of soldiers, who would protect the Emperor, his family and important state officials, during the day, night, war, peace, revelries of festivals and monotony of daily life.

End of Year 1156 AD: Expanded Primogeniture Law:
A string of bad luck can render a monarch without a male heir or cause succession debates. Rather than risk some unpleasant consequences of such a situation, it might be better to allow a skilled female to ascend to the throne, especially if she is as good at matters of the governance as any other ruler.

End of Year 1158 AD: Enacted Settlement Policy:
Guarantee that those willing to settle in previously undeveloped lands or territories yet unclaimed by any nation will be given a certain amount of money to help further their effort. However, this might cause a severe drain on the Treasury, especially during times of sudden, mass migrations to the countryside.

End of Year 1159 AD: Introduced Elective Succession Laws:
Sometimes a firstborn might be below average in terms of his skills to rule the nation, but there might be no other alternatives left, even amongst females. Elective Succession will allow the monarch to select the most skilled to inherit the throne, even a distant (or foreign!) relative of the successor, although this might cause problems with less gifted yet highly ambitious relatives of the next ruler, as well as local nobility.

Late Autumn, 1160 AD: Proclaimed Dissolution of Cloisters:
There are some faiths that are living and dwelling in estates and keeps that once belonged to the Crown, hoarding wealth within! We should force them out, restoring the important buildings to our governance as well as profiting from the stored treasures. Obviously, the worshippers of the faiths in question will be angry about this.

End of Year 1164 AD: Established The Royal House of Learning:
Scholars scribbling down books in secluded libraries and scriptories should be a thing of the past! Let's instead establish a centre of learning, where those of intellect can exchange ideas and educate those willing to learn. It will help the nation develop technologically, although maintenance of this beacon of enlightenment will obviously require yearly costs.

End of Year 1166 AD: Adopted Fireblood Infantry Tactics:
Fireblood weapons are currently slow to load and rather inaccurate, but even one in dozen of shots is bound to hit someone. Some believe that infantry should be given hand-held Fireblood weapons, which would be fired en masse against the enemy before melee combat, while horsemen equipped with melee weapons attack the flanks in glorious charges or mows down those who were lucky to survive the rain of hot iron.

End of Year 1174 AD: Endorsed State Patronage of Arts:
To help develop the nation culturally, set aside certain amount of budget money to sponsor sculptors, poets, musicians and painters. It will be a constant drain on the Treasury, but think of how prestigious your nation will become, what with those masterpieces of art popping left and right!

End of Year 1176 AD: Established Royal School of Cartography:
People come from near and far, yet we know little of the places they visit, the royal scribes clinging to rumors, hearsays and random tales of strangers. A proper society of cartographers and scholars at the House of Learning could help expand our knowledge about the region, and the continent - who knows, maybe entire world in the far future!

End of Year 1191 AD: Adopted a State Religion (Pantheonism):
Pantheonism has become a major religion amongst our subjects. To foster unity of our subjects against foreign religious influences, we should establish Pantheonism as the state religion, with all others nowhere equal to it. The Pantheonist clergy will sure view it in a good light, too.
« Last Edit: August 29, 2018, 11:55:43 am by Haspen »
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.
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