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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2128688 times)

melomel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2535 on: September 11, 2010, 03:45:20 pm »

And now my entire fort has ground to a complete and total halt in an absolutely stunning and completely magma-free spectacle of Dwarven Stupidity.

(1) Human traders arrive.  I buy everything I want from the caravan.  Dorfs rush out to stockpile everything.
(2) A werewolf spawns.  Instead of trying to path to the haulers through the bajillion cage traps out there, it decides to park itself in full view of the entrance to the fort.
(3) Cue the cancellation spam and pretty much the entire damned fortress starting to starve itself because a werewolf is watching them.

Face.  Palm.
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I HAVE THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND CRAFT ITEMS. I WILL TRADE THEM ALL FOR CHEESE.
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Svampapa

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2536 on: September 11, 2010, 07:16:35 pm »

Wouldn't YOU be scared shitless?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
:D
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Skelodwarf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2537 on: September 11, 2010, 10:21:05 pm »

So this is what happens when you leave food at the wagon too long.  :o
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's nothing. I had a legitimate 10x10 square FILLED with fluffy wamblers.
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I never really got that excited over Microcline... Oh wait, THAT blue stuff.

goukaryuujin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2538 on: September 11, 2010, 10:24:08 pm »

Urist cancels haul: scared shitless by werewolf
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My wife, on the other hand, is sitting right next to me on her own computer playing DF, and her worldgens and embarks yield copious amounts of flux and iron. Armok likes her best.
Ok I stuffed up some how... I have Forgotten beasts and Mosswines as a Hostile Civ...

MaximumZero

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2539 on: September 11, 2010, 10:29:31 pm »

So this is what happens when you leave food at the wagon too long.  :o
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's nothing. I had a legitimate 10x10 square FILLED with fluffy wamblers.

Urist McDwarf cancels Haul Stuff: Wambler Stampeeeed.
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

Iren

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2540 on: September 12, 2010, 10:04:08 am »

Well, I was starting to actually learn how to play this game.

Food supply?  Check.
Good supply of stone? Check.
Crafts?  Check.
Booze?...uhoh.

Elephant blood filled rivers, elephant blood filled rivers everywhere.

Happened to me too, except that winter came, rivers froze and half of the dwarves died of thirst trying to lick ice cubes.
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Tommy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2541 on: September 12, 2010, 12:59:37 pm »

Dug a drainage channel from the volcano to the human siege camp, only for them to leave shortly before it reached them.  Seems a bit silly in hindsight.
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HAHAHA YES MY EXPIDITION LEADER IS PARTYING WITH GHOSTS THIS IS THE BEST UPDATE EVER
Dwarf Fortress in a nutshell. It includes dead things, parties, and getting really excited over updates.

nekoexmachina

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2542 on: September 12, 2010, 01:37:22 pm »

i've just abandoned the coolest embark i've ever had
it had almost everything, except water: too hot to have it.
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Whenever i read the "doesn't care about anything anymore" line, i instantly imagine a dwarf, sitting alone on a swing set. Just slowly rocking back and forth, somberly staring at the ground, and stopping every once in a while to sigh.
It's mildly depressing.

Golcondio

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2543 on: September 12, 2010, 01:48:33 pm »

i've just abandoned the coolest embark i've ever had
it had almost everything, except water: too hot to have it.
Just dig until you reach the underground river... and anyway water is nasty and rusts iron and rots wood so you'd better stick to booze!
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Dok Enkephalin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2544 on: September 12, 2010, 01:53:52 pm »

A grand wall should keep the undead away, protect the caravans, too. Jeeze, those guys are taking forever, maybe I'll put some unskilled labor on it with them, at least get some wall up. Hm, miners standing around scratching their asses, are they already finished with that passage directly to the caravans? Ok, they can pave the slopes off our hill, that should anything from getting around breaches in the front for now. Or channels, even better! Wait, what do I need a wall for, again?
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nekoexmachina

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2545 on: September 12, 2010, 02:09:12 pm »

Quote
Just dig until you reach the underground river... and anyway water is nasty and rusts iron and rots wood so you'd better stick to booze!
the fact is, there was no underground water in any cavern of 2 i've had in that world.
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Whenever i read the "doesn't care about anything anymore" line, i instantly imagine a dwarf, sitting alone on a swing set. Just slowly rocking back and forth, somberly staring at the ground, and stopping every once in a while to sigh.
It's mildly depressing.

mission0

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2546 on: September 12, 2010, 02:19:40 pm »

Ok I'm in a seven year fort that started off as a grand mega-fortress project thing.

I have gone from the original seven dwarves to a whopping 106 dwarves! They are all still living out of the small temporary encampment I had dug into the ground. There was plenty of food, a good enough supply of booze and moderate sleeping arrangements that was able to meet the demands of the fortress. The dwarves were not living well but they were living.

Until one day I get an alert on my screen that I have not seen in a long time.

A Titan has come to visit! Fear its poisonous breath!

O_O I'm going oh shit! oh shit! Everyone move into the mega-fortress proper! Military Dwarves you may be wearing nothing but get your asses out there and wrestle that thing to the ground!

The ten dwarves who were sent out to wrestle are standing out by the bridge I had constructed over a small pond. The only entrance since I had walled off the rest of the area. There are traps and more traps to help out the dwarves as they are set to battle it out against the titan. The Titan walks around the wall until it comes to a hole where another pond interrupted the wall... then it swam through the wall. Completely bypassing my defenses and putting the Titan between my civilians and the small army I had.

I go Oh Shit! yet again and send my military to attack. They all swarm over the Titan becoming legendary wrestlers within seconds of the fight. However their punches are literally as effective as throwing rocks at it. The Titan is literally flinging dwarves left and right. One dwarf was grabbed by his hand and flung around, his hand ripped off staying in the Titans grip as the dwarf flew away about 10 tiles or so before he smacked into the wall and died.

The Titan methodically killed every dwarf I had in my military then made its way into my temporary fortress. No one was in there but there was one problem... now it was standing right between the civilians and their food and booze supply. At this time vultures also start stealing all my food...

So left with either starving to death or fighting the Titan I decide to fight. I recruit all my legendary miners, wish them the best, and send them off to what I thought was their deaths. Something was wrong though, the miners all refused to budge from the safety of the fortress proper... Except for one who was taking the opportunity to head towards the beds... where the Titan is. He was my best miner to so i'm going... no no! everyone move or don't go at all.

It was to late for me to call him back to because the Titan had already seen him and was rushing to do battle. My sleep deprived dwarf met him head on. Please live, Please live, I keep chanting. Then I notice that the Dwarf is falling back and I go O Shit! for about the hundredth time now. I check the dwarf, he's fine nothing but a bruise. I check the Titan and his head is broken, his wings are disabled, and his body is not looking to good either.

The dwarf was so set on getting some sleep that he was not letting anything stop him, not even a Titan! He quickly killed the Titan with a well placed blow to the head with his pick and a final twist. He then continued on his way to the beds.

I'm going wtf! while celebrating the victory before I look down at my announcements to see at least ten dwarves are tantruming and another ten have either starved to death or died or thirst.

:face palm:
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Oh wait, "insane" doesn't work on this forum.
Crap, can't think of an alternative.

MarcAFK

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2547 on: September 13, 2010, 02:32:18 am »

Distracted because of watching doctor who i stupidly assumed that pressing a after generating a map would accept it, rather than aborting which it actually does.
Yeah next time i generate a large map i'll be more careful after 3 hours spent generating.

Double facepalm when i finish generating a second world, only to find that the last map i aborted still exists anyway  ::)
« Last Edit: September 13, 2010, 04:05:23 am by MarcAFK »
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They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2548 on: September 13, 2010, 08:20:38 am »

Distracted because of watching doctor who i stupidly assumed that pressing a after generating a map would accept it, rather than aborting which it actually does.
Yeah next time i generate a large map i'll be more careful after 3 hours spent generating.

Double facepalm when i finish generating a second world, only to find that the last map i aborted still exists anyway  ::)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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AngleWyrm

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2549 on: September 13, 2010, 08:54:49 am »

New embark, and I dig out an area near a brook that's going to be my farm, then the next door workshops, dining hall, and food storage. I build a mechanics workshop and get three mechanisms, then a mason's workshop and get a floodgate. I install all this, build and pull the lever, and send the miner through to breach the last tile to the river in order to water the farm plots.

...And my whole fort is one z-level too far up.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2010, 08:57:49 am by AngleWyrm »
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