Post by: A Thing on May 11, 2016, 12:44:36 am
Spoiler: Part 0: World Wasting Welcomings (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/9m9cUtU.jpg)
I dunno what this game is, but it sure is orange.(http://i.imgur.com/V3sSxRd.png)
I believe Brian Fargo is going to present an InXile Entertainment rerelease of the 1970's classic sci-fi film: Laserblaster. No wait it's just...
Wasteland!
The original Wasteland is copyright 1986-1988 by Interplay Productions, Inc. Wasteland is a trademark of InXile Entertainment, Inc.
Written by Alan Pavlish. IBM Version by Michael Quarles.
Place: Earth.
Year:
Status:
"Diplomatic solutions to
"Current condition: High concentration of radiation produce random storms and mutations. Somehow life continues in the Wasteland!" Turns out that a Wasteland that is actually a Wasteland might not make for a diverse or interesting RPG, even in 1986.
Time to START, what's the worse that can happen?
The game asks us whether or not we want to go to Ranger Center for some reason, because we totally want to leave our characters as generics, right? Time to create myself, which is far less timebendy then it sounds.
(http://i.imgur.com/KAQOjiw.png)
As you can see I'm American because I'm no liar, and also some sort of genius (also because I'm no liar, of course) considering the max starting INT is 18. I'm also cloaked with massive, quivering muscles and more dexterous than a stereotypical hobbit. In general, probably some sort of superhuman and almost certainly a mutant, but this is a new world, a new society! There is no room to judge the irradiated, right?
Skills are: 3 brawling, 1 climb, 1 swim, 1 perception, 1 assault rifle, 1 at weapon, 1 medic, 1 rifle, 1 picklock, 1 silent move.
I start out with the basics everyone starts with: a M1911, some .45 clips, a rope, a canteen, a crowbar, a knife, a hand mirror, and a match.
As you can imagine I'll be asking for characters, your characters, specifically (only one character per person if it wasn't obvious.) This game uses a rolling system for stats so specific stats are a no go; just give a general character build, and use this as a guide (http://user.tninet.se/~jyg699a/wasteland.html#char) so we don't end up with completely disharmonious and incompetent losers.
If I get more than 3 characters I'll use Random.org to decide who get's in or not, and I'll let characters roll in until about next Wednesday, maybe longer if there is extreme interest. If you want to know your options, use that guide, it's all in there. I would assume it to be an accurate guide considering that it is linked to by an InXile guy in the Steam Discussion FAQ for this game.
And now that we're done with I think it worth mentioning that I've never played this game beyond some minor poking about, so you should probably avoid spoilers unless it is something like "If you don't scrub the aquamarine banjo on the Panzer VII the main-story breaks" or some such. As for the reasoning for this LP? Well, I got this game when I bought Wasteland 2, and I thought doing an LP would be a decent way to get me to actually finish it. That, and I was kinda bored.
Edit: Format for character sheets:
Name: Dude
Gender: Dude (Male and Female, dude is not an option sadly.)
Nationality: Dude (Your options for this are: U.S., Russian, Mexican, Indian, and Chinese.)
General Stats: Charisma 18, Agility 18. (All of the stats are in one of the screenshots, I'm not going to describe all their effects.)
Skills: Cryptology 6 (I'm not giving you a full list of skills, just look in the guide I linked or get the manual for this game from somewhere.)
Spoiler: Backstory (click to show/hide)
"The following is an excerpt from The History of the Desert Rangers, The Early Years, Ken Allard, 2087, Allard Press, Ranger Center. Hardbound pp. 293, $20 gold."
"Tensions grew with the coming of 1998. The United States' Citadel Starstation was slated to be fully operational by March. Soviet charges that the space station was merely a military launching platform alarmed a number of non-aligned nations. The right wing goverments in the South and Central Americas, many of them set up by the U.S. during the Drug Wars (1987-1993) pledged their support to the U.S. The NATO nations, including the new African members, also declared their alliance with the U.S. That move forced most of the remaining neutral powers to join the Soviet protest. In six short weeks, only Switzerland, Sweden, and Ireland continued to declare themselves neutral nations."
"Two weeks before Citadel was due for full operation, the station transmitted a distress signal. Immediately after the message was sent, most of the satellites orbiting the planet were swept clean from the sky, leaving the great powers blind. In military panic, each sent 90 percent of their nuclear arsenals skyward. Although the destruction was tremendous, it was not complete. Pockets of civilization remained, some even oblivious to the military exchange."
"On the same day that the U.S. and Soviet Union were attempting to extinguish each other, a company of U.S. Army Engineers were in the southwestern deserts building transportation bridges over dry riverbeds. They worked deep in the inhospitable desert valleys, surrounded by a number of survivalist communities. Located directly south of their position on that day was a newly-constructed federal prison. In addition to housing the nation's criminals condemned to death, the prison contained light industrial manufacturing facilities."
"Shortly after the nuclear attack began, the Engineers, seeking shelter, took over the federal prison and expelled the prisoners into the desolate desert to complete their sentences. As the weeks passed, they invited the nearby survivalist communities to join them and to help them build a new society. Because of each communities' suspicions towards one another, times were difficult at first. But as time nurtured trust, this settlement - which came to be known as Ranger Center - grew to be one of the strongest outposts. Ranger Center even proved powerful enough to repel the bands of rancorous criminals who repeatedly attacked in attempts to reclaim what was once "rightfully theirs."
"The citizens of Ranger Center, after first believing that they were the only ones who survived the nuclear maelstrom, soon realized that communities beyond the desert's grip had also survived. Because they had success in constructing a new community, they felt compelled to help other survivors rebuild and live in peace."
"Towards this end, the Desert Rangers, in the great tradition of the Texas and Arizona Rangers a century before, were born."
"Tensions grew with the coming of 1998. The United States' Citadel Starstation was slated to be fully operational by March. Soviet charges that the space station was merely a military launching platform alarmed a number of non-aligned nations. The right wing goverments in the South and Central Americas, many of them set up by the U.S. during the Drug Wars (1987-1993) pledged their support to the U.S. The NATO nations, including the new African members, also declared their alliance with the U.S. That move forced most of the remaining neutral powers to join the Soviet protest. In six short weeks, only Switzerland, Sweden, and Ireland continued to declare themselves neutral nations."
"Two weeks before Citadel was due for full operation, the station transmitted a distress signal. Immediately after the message was sent, most of the satellites orbiting the planet were swept clean from the sky, leaving the great powers blind. In military panic, each sent 90 percent of their nuclear arsenals skyward. Although the destruction was tremendous, it was not complete. Pockets of civilization remained, some even oblivious to the military exchange."
"On the same day that the U.S. and Soviet Union were attempting to extinguish each other, a company of U.S. Army Engineers were in the southwestern deserts building transportation bridges over dry riverbeds. They worked deep in the inhospitable desert valleys, surrounded by a number of survivalist communities. Located directly south of their position on that day was a newly-constructed federal prison. In addition to housing the nation's criminals condemned to death, the prison contained light industrial manufacturing facilities."
"Shortly after the nuclear attack began, the Engineers, seeking shelter, took over the federal prison and expelled the prisoners into the desolate desert to complete their sentences. As the weeks passed, they invited the nearby survivalist communities to join them and to help them build a new society. Because of each communities' suspicions towards one another, times were difficult at first. But as time nurtured trust, this settlement - which came to be known as Ranger Center - grew to be one of the strongest outposts. Ranger Center even proved powerful enough to repel the bands of rancorous criminals who repeatedly attacked in attempts to reclaim what was once "rightfully theirs."
"The citizens of Ranger Center, after first believing that they were the only ones who survived the nuclear maelstrom, soon realized that communities beyond the desert's grip had also survived. Because they had success in constructing a new community, they felt compelled to help other survivors rebuild and live in peace."
"Towards this end, the Desert Rangers, in the great tradition of the Texas and Arizona Rangers a century before, were born."
Soundtrack for the Steam/GOG version : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAIsNtK6Szc
Links to the Steam and GOG versions: http://store.steampowered.com/app/259130/ https://www.gog.com/game/wasteland_the_classic_original These are pretty much the same version besides that the Steam version requires you to run it through Steam for some reason. Probably an oversight.
Table of Contents
Spoiler: Wasteland 1 (click to show/hide)
Part 0.5: Futile Fisticuffs (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7000359#msg7000359)
Part 1: Pallorous Picnickers in Prominent Pools (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7005877#msg7005877)
Part 2: Vermin Valor and Victory (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7017211#msg7017211)
Part 3: Nomadic Nuisances with Negative Natures (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7024530#msg7024530)
Part 3.5: Audacious Australian Awfulness (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7029024#msg7029024)
Part 4: Inns and Imps (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7030248#msg7030248)
Part 5: Ugly Usurpers in Union (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7033787#msg7033787)
Part 6: Excavation Escapades and Train-way Treachery (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7038917#msg7038917)
Part 7: Needling Ne'er'do'wells (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7042018#msg7042018)
Part 8: Cultist Capers (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7050603#msg7050603)
Part 8.5 Engine Engineering (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7054081#msg7054081)
Part 9: Radioactive Ruffians (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7065782#msg7065782)
Part 10: Scorpion Stumblings (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7069112#msg7069112)
Part 11: Referential Rapscallions (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7073466#msg7073466)
Part Freedom: Pillars of Perpetuity (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7077948#msg7077948)
Part 12: Glowin' Gregorians (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7083370#msg7083370)
Part 13: Citadel Concerns and Sleepy Scavenging (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7090700#msg7090700)
Part 14: Conclusive Conflicts in Cochise - The End (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7092026#msg7092026)
Part 1: Pallorous Picnickers in Prominent Pools (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7005877#msg7005877)
Part 2: Vermin Valor and Victory (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7017211#msg7017211)
Part 3: Nomadic Nuisances with Negative Natures (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7024530#msg7024530)
Part 3.5: Audacious Australian Awfulness (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7029024#msg7029024)
Part 4: Inns and Imps (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7030248#msg7030248)
Part 5: Ugly Usurpers in Union (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7033787#msg7033787)
Part 6: Excavation Escapades and Train-way Treachery (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7038917#msg7038917)
Part 7: Needling Ne'er'do'wells (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7042018#msg7042018)
Part 8: Cultist Capers (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7050603#msg7050603)
Part 8.5 Engine Engineering (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7054081#msg7054081)
Part 9: Radioactive Ruffians (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7065782#msg7065782)
Part 10: Scorpion Stumblings (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7069112#msg7069112)
Part 11: Referential Rapscallions (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7073466#msg7073466)
Part Freedom: Pillars of Perpetuity (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7077948#msg7077948)
Part 12: Glowin' Gregorians (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7083370#msg7083370)
Part 13: Citadel Concerns and Sleepy Scavenging (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7090700#msg7090700)
Part 14: Conclusive Conflicts in Cochise - The End (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7092026#msg7092026)
Spoiler: Wasteland 2 (click to show/hide)
Part 15: Ranger Rendezvous (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7319048#msg7319048)
Part 16: Ranger Round-up (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7366061#msg7366061)
Part 17: Aced? Aced. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=158066.msg7395015#msg7395015)
Post by: Yoink on May 11, 2016, 08:00:20 am
I'll just take a 2 in brawling, 2 in assault rifles, 1 in demolitions and 2 in bomb disarm, if possible. If not just prioritize strength, agility and brawlin'/knife fighting/knife throwing! :)
Post by: A Thing on May 11, 2016, 10:59:33 am
Oooh, count me in.
I'll just take a 2 in brawling, 2 in assault rifles, 1 in demolitions and 2 in bomb disarm, if possible. If not just prioritize strength, agility and brawlin'/knife fighting/knife throwing! :)
Gender, nationality? Just to make it easier to remember, here's the general format you should post characters in:
Name: Dude
Gender: Dude
Nationality:Dude
General Stats: Charisma 18, Agility 18.
Skills: Cryptology 6
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 12, 2016, 02:08:57 pm
Gender: dude, bro
Nationality: U.S.
General Stats: high Charisma
Skills: forget if there were any face skills, but get those if yes
Post by: Yoink on May 13, 2016, 06:39:44 am
Post by: A Thing on May 13, 2016, 12:21:13 pm
Oh right, male and... is Mexico an option? If not, US.
Mexico is definitely one of the options. I actually thought that the guide I linked to provided the nationalities but it doesn't, so here you go: U.S., Russian, Mexican, Indian, and Chinese.
Post by: A Thing on May 15, 2016, 06:19:38 pm
Spoiler: Part 0.5: Futile Fisticuffs (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/0z8uVQf.png)
Here's the Ranger Center by the way, I haven't really decided yet as to whether or not we'll be using the uprezed images that come with the Steam version (and presumably the GOG version as well) or the original gifs. Pretty sure I can change it after starting anyway so it shouldn't be too big of a deal.
This part isn't about that though, no this is a story about a mutant, his fists, and hordes of Outskirts Outlaws.
After some time spent wandering around, from the depths of the wasteland finally appear hostile adversaries. Who are more specifically humanoids at 14 feet, let's hope they don't have guns.
(http://i.imgur.com/47zpbP9.png)
They have guns. Well, we're going to die eventually, might as well be sooner rather than later.
They unsurprisingly unload on the mutant hurling toward them, and do a moderate amount of damage. A Thing flubs a hit but somehow manages to get a shot in on the backswing, giving the enemy a bruise at best.
Another round of the Wasteland Warriors actually doing damage and A Thing just flailing around uselessly.
Another shot and A Thing is unconscious, and probably soon to be among the spirits.
Until he wakes up and is knocked unconscious again, and again, and again for the rest of eternity. The manual said that characters could die they failed to mention single character parties being immortal however. So I guess this is how that adventure ends, eternal torture from some random Dike Desperadoes, some friggin' Creek Crooks, some damn Hillock Hooligans, etc, etc.
Here's the Ranger Center by the way, I haven't really decided yet as to whether or not we'll be using the uprezed images that come with the Steam version (and presumably the GOG version as well) or the original gifs. Pretty sure I can change it after starting anyway so it shouldn't be too big of a deal.
This part isn't about that though, no this is a story about a mutant, his fists, and hordes of Outskirts Outlaws.
After some time spent wandering around, from the depths of the wasteland finally appear hostile adversaries. Who are more specifically humanoids at 14 feet, let's hope they don't have guns.
(http://i.imgur.com/47zpbP9.png)
They have guns. Well, we're going to die eventually, might as well be sooner rather than later.
They unsurprisingly unload on the mutant hurling toward them, and do a moderate amount of damage. A Thing flubs a hit but somehow manages to get a shot in on the backswing, giving the enemy a bruise at best.
Another round of the Wasteland Warriors actually doing damage and A Thing just flailing around uselessly.
Another shot and A Thing is unconscious, and probably soon to be among the spirits.
Until he wakes up and is knocked unconscious again, and again, and again for the rest of eternity. The manual said that characters could die they failed to mention single character parties being immortal however. So I guess this is how that adventure ends, eternal torture from some random Dike Desperadoes, some friggin' Creek Crooks, some damn Hillock Hooligans, etc, etc.
Post by: A Thing on May 18, 2016, 09:18:31 pm
Spoiler: Pallorous Picnickers in Prominent Pools (click to show/hide)
Welcome back (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAIsNtK6Szc), or welcome to the beginning of everything? Regardless, this is the beginning of most of the party, including Herakles reborn.
(http://i.imgur.com/CxmeRb5.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/JXIzX5H.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/2Mg4VK8.png)
Yoink has: 2 bomb disarm, 2 brawling, 2 assault rifle, 1 demolitions, 1 knife fight, 1 clip pistol, and 1 perception.
Herakles reborn also known as Brotherman has: 2 brawling, 1 bureaucracy, 1 confidence, 2 assault rifle, 1 SMG, 1 AT weapon, 1 medic, 1 perception, 1 silent move, 1 safecrack, and 1 swim. His inventory is the exact same except that he has a UP91Z 9mm pistol and some clips for it.
Rob has: 3 brawling, 1 rifle, 1 perception, 2 assault rifle, 1 SMG, 1 AT weapon, and 1 swim.
Time to finally range some vast ranges. In particular this area to the northwest.
"You are in the desert north of the settlement of Highpool"
Going south until we get out of the forest we reach this: "South of you are two-story adobe buildings that resemble dorms."
Great, post-apocalyptic toga parties, let's at least try to search the things.
"This is a dorm for teens. Nothing much of interest here."
(http://i.imgur.com/UNKoU1M.png)
This is the case for most of these buildings until we see an oddly shaped one, which of course has something in it.
(http://i.imgur.com/kXLfU23.png)
"The entry is cool. A store counter is nearby and the room beyond looks like a gaming hall."
Time to waltz in like we own the place, because we do. We're the Desert Rangers, the coolest of the cool, grand dukes of the post-apocalypse.
"A note is tacked to the wall says:
Seems like a hint to possible quests if I've ever seen one. Let's see what this shop has regardless of what the list actually means.
Brotherman must talk, he does have the highest charisma after all.
(http://i.imgur.com/mnzUOsl.png)
We have $0, maybe I should've considered that first. Whatever, there is a mysterious door we can go to and probably open.
"A name is painted on the door, "Mr. Jumbo." The door is locked." Fantastic, sounds like Michael Jackson's illegitimate monkey.
I decide to use my intelligence to open the door, apparently this is the gaming room? It looks like a bedroom, but whatever let's see what it has.
"A poker player says, "He's out but you can use the key beside the door."
"You see a bed to the west and a cluttered desk to the east."
Seems like it is a bedroom after all, what kind of sham is this? I'm going to have to confiscate some things.
"This is a cluttered desk." Just in case you forgot.
"You see several handwritten notes on the desk." Panama Papers? Dammit Highpool, you too?
"One note is cash accounts with the Rail Nomads. (I disagree with trading with traintaurs, but some disagree with me!) Another outlines sneak-attack plans against desert marauders."
"This last note seems odd since it clearly assumes only two attackers against many." Maybe the marauders all have a pistol skill of 1? It could happen.
"One note (Didn't you just say the previous note was the last one? Yes, you did.) is a reminder to put a trapdoor over the cave across the creek. Another is about hydrophobia."
Brian Fargo presents...
Hydrophobia: Prophecy: The Original 2011 Classic!
Ignoring that, let's go to this bed\poker table.
"On the wall are faded photos of kids. T-shirts say "Camp Highpool." Post-apocalyptic summer camp toga parties.
"This bedroom looks like a scumpit." Pretty sure this bedroom breaks the Geneva Protocol.
(http://i.imgur.com/VG5E8s0.png)
Leaving the Camp Shop, we go south to the infirmary.
(http://i.imgur.com/jUGp3hH.png)
This dude is here. Suddenly I feel like retracing my steps out of this building, 'tis a bit of short-term memory loss you see.
This west building seems more promising.
(http://i.imgur.com/iBkDtXE.png)
"This looks like a workshop. Old machinery is nearby, and there's a cot in the back."
Must... get... to... cot!
"Old machine parts lie on the floor, surrounded by a scatter of tools."
This cot is also a scumpit that commits war crimes, but more importantly our curiosity is rewarded!
"Under a loose board beneath the bed you find quite a cache."
Time for me to riffle through our rewards for doing important business.
We get some sort of commemorative spoon collection worth 64 dollars, along with a 9mm pistol with two clips, and a leather jacket for the Brotherman. All of it goes to Brotherman who is the de facto leader with his Herakles blood.
Jumping straight off the cot into the pile of indiscernible junk we find that water purifier we've heard so much about.
"This big contraption is a patchwork machine. You recognize a pump. Lime-crusted pipes go under the floor."
Well, it's pretty obvious that this needs IQ of some sort so let's use that.
"You deduce that this is a water purification device. It looks broken." Just drink the lime and lead, if Ancient Romans could do it, so can you!
"The gaping hole beside the pumps leads you to think it could be fixed with a new engine." Which we don't have, so we leave immediately onto greener pastures.
Like this bush with a weeping kid in it.
We shout BOBBY at him, he just says "I dunno." What an asshole. How about dog?
"Don't kill my dog Rex, okay? Please?!" That's a total non-sequitur Bobby, but I'll accept it as some form of social disability.
We ask him why he is in a bush and he responds with "The cave is between the pool and the west cliff wall, kinda between those two trees."
"Don't kill my dog Rex, okay? Please?!"
"The young boy sobs out "Rex!", then runs away." The poor bastard is in shock or really has intense conversational disability, whatever the case that definitely sounds like a plot hook to me.
(http://i.imgur.com/rw05UfM.png)
This is the lake by the way, looks like a deformed heart.
Walking around the lake and into the creek despite the warnings that the "rocks are slick and mossy. Do not swim here." we try the creek out for a short while are "kneedeep in Highpool Creek. The water is cool but the rocks are slippery" before we "slip and fall into the water with a splash. Your face burns with embarrasment. You hear children's laughter." so before we leave to the cave of shame we talk to them.
(http://i.imgur.com/6Jzdh1s.png)
They say and do nothing but jeer. Damn plot unimportant little 'uns! To the shame cave then.
(http://i.imgur.com/jBC72uA.png)
Unsurprisingly, between the two trees we find "a deep hole to a dark cave. A short strand of frayed rope, abour 3 inches long, dangles from a tree limb." I use my rope to slide us down there.
"Even here the cave is very dark. The floor is rocky." Sun is hot, sky is blue, sword stab.
Crawling further we hear "a growl like metal ripping. A huge dog lunges from a dark corner, jaws foaming."
1 Rabid Dog appears!
(http://i.imgur.com/HjgV6zH.png)
People really need to stop leaving their raspberry sauce all over the place for dogs, it is just not healthy for them.
Let's not kill him, for reasons. You probably already know if you played even a short bit of Wasteland 2 as it kinda spoils this. This friggin' thing tries to maul me, then goes after Brotherman, if this guy didn't have the arbitrary power of game designers behind him we would've already gunned him down. He get's an extra nip off on Yoink's bum before we climb away.
Climbing a bit more we notice an opening. "The roof fell here once. You can barely move about. You note a broken human bone." Well, that's unfortunate for that man or woman, but not what we are looking for.
Going past the dog and getting mauled again, we find Jackie.
"Please help me get out of here."
We try to hire her and...
"Thank you for rescuing me."
Going back again, and getting mauled again thereby knocking Jackie unconscious and lowering Yoink to the brink of death. Causing me to have to reload. Great gameplay section everyone! I'm sure I'll love this game.
Apparently using a match makes Rex the maulinator into less dangerous version through fire pheromones or some archaic nonsense so we do that.
We eventually get Jackie out and afterwards buy a crowbar. So ends this update.
(http://i.imgur.com/CxmeRb5.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/JXIzX5H.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/2Mg4VK8.png)
Yoink has: 2 bomb disarm, 2 brawling, 2 assault rifle, 1 demolitions, 1 knife fight, 1 clip pistol, and 1 perception.
Herakles reborn also known as Brotherman has: 2 brawling, 1 bureaucracy, 1 confidence, 2 assault rifle, 1 SMG, 1 AT weapon, 1 medic, 1 perception, 1 silent move, 1 safecrack, and 1 swim. His inventory is the exact same except that he has a UP91Z 9mm pistol and some clips for it.
Rob has: 3 brawling, 1 rifle, 1 perception, 2 assault rifle, 1 SMG, 1 AT weapon, and 1 swim.
Time to finally range some vast ranges. In particular this area to the northwest.
"You are in the desert north of the settlement of Highpool"
Going south until we get out of the forest we reach this: "South of you are two-story adobe buildings that resemble dorms."
Great, post-apocalyptic toga parties, let's at least try to search the things.
"This is a dorm for teens. Nothing much of interest here."
(http://i.imgur.com/UNKoU1M.png)
This is the case for most of these buildings until we see an oddly shaped one, which of course has something in it.
(http://i.imgur.com/kXLfU23.png)
"The entry is cool. A store counter is nearby and the room beyond looks like a gaming hall."
Time to waltz in like we own the place, because we do. We're the Desert Rangers, the coolest of the cool, grand dukes of the post-apocalypse.
"A note is tacked to the wall says:
- cave
- adults: raid outlaws
- Jackie
- Bobby's dog?
- fix water purifier"
Seems like a hint to possible quests if I've ever seen one. Let's see what this shop has regardless of what the list actually means.
Brotherman must talk, he does have the highest charisma after all.
(http://i.imgur.com/mnzUOsl.png)
We have $0, maybe I should've considered that first. Whatever, there is a mysterious door we can go to and probably open.
"A name is painted on the door, "Mr. Jumbo." The door is locked." Fantastic, sounds like Michael Jackson's illegitimate monkey.
I decide to use my intelligence to open the door, apparently this is the gaming room? It looks like a bedroom, but whatever let's see what it has.
"A poker player says, "He's out but you can use the key beside the door."
"You see a bed to the west and a cluttered desk to the east."
Seems like it is a bedroom after all, what kind of sham is this? I'm going to have to confiscate some things.
"This is a cluttered desk." Just in case you forgot.
"You see several handwritten notes on the desk." Panama Papers? Dammit Highpool, you too?
"One note is cash accounts with the Rail Nomads. (I disagree with trading with traintaurs, but some disagree with me!) Another outlines sneak-attack plans against desert marauders."
"This last note seems odd since it clearly assumes only two attackers against many." Maybe the marauders all have a pistol skill of 1? It could happen.
"One note (Didn't you just say the previous note was the last one? Yes, you did.) is a reminder to put a trapdoor over the cave across the creek. Another is about hydrophobia."
Brian Fargo presents...
Hydrophobia: Prophecy: The Original 2011 Classic!
Ignoring that, let's go to this bed\poker table.
"On the wall are faded photos of kids. T-shirts say "Camp Highpool." Post-apocalyptic summer camp toga parties.
"This bedroom looks like a scumpit." Pretty sure this bedroom breaks the Geneva Protocol.
(http://i.imgur.com/VG5E8s0.png)
Leaving the Camp Shop, we go south to the infirmary.
(http://i.imgur.com/jUGp3hH.png)
This dude is here. Suddenly I feel like retracing my steps out of this building, 'tis a bit of short-term memory loss you see.
This west building seems more promising.
(http://i.imgur.com/iBkDtXE.png)
"This looks like a workshop. Old machinery is nearby, and there's a cot in the back."
Must... get... to... cot!
"Old machine parts lie on the floor, surrounded by a scatter of tools."
This cot is also a scumpit that commits war crimes, but more importantly our curiosity is rewarded!
"Under a loose board beneath the bed you find quite a cache."
Time for me to riffle through our rewards for doing important business.
We get some sort of commemorative spoon collection worth 64 dollars, along with a 9mm pistol with two clips, and a leather jacket for the Brotherman. All of it goes to Brotherman who is the de facto leader with his Herakles blood.
Jumping straight off the cot into the pile of indiscernible junk we find that water purifier we've heard so much about.
"This big contraption is a patchwork machine. You recognize a pump. Lime-crusted pipes go under the floor."
Well, it's pretty obvious that this needs IQ of some sort so let's use that.
"You deduce that this is a water purification device. It looks broken." Just drink the lime and lead, if Ancient Romans could do it, so can you!
"The gaping hole beside the pumps leads you to think it could be fixed with a new engine." Which we don't have, so we leave immediately onto greener pastures.
Like this bush with a weeping kid in it.
We shout BOBBY at him, he just says "I dunno." What an asshole. How about dog?
"Don't kill my dog Rex, okay? Please?!" That's a total non-sequitur Bobby, but I'll accept it as some form of social disability.
We ask him why he is in a bush and he responds with "The cave is between the pool and the west cliff wall, kinda between those two trees."
"Don't kill my dog Rex, okay? Please?!"
"The young boy sobs out "Rex!", then runs away." The poor bastard is in shock or really has intense conversational disability, whatever the case that definitely sounds like a plot hook to me.
(http://i.imgur.com/rw05UfM.png)
This is the lake by the way, looks like a deformed heart.
Walking around the lake and into the creek despite the warnings that the "rocks are slick and mossy. Do not swim here." we try the creek out for a short while are "kneedeep in Highpool Creek. The water is cool but the rocks are slippery" before we "slip and fall into the water with a splash. Your face burns with embarrasment. You hear children's laughter." so before we leave to the cave of shame we talk to them.
(http://i.imgur.com/6Jzdh1s.png)
They say and do nothing but jeer. Damn plot unimportant little 'uns! To the shame cave then.
(http://i.imgur.com/jBC72uA.png)
Unsurprisingly, between the two trees we find "a deep hole to a dark cave. A short strand of frayed rope, abour 3 inches long, dangles from a tree limb." I use my rope to slide us down there.
"Even here the cave is very dark. The floor is rocky." Sun is hot, sky is blue, sword stab.
Crawling further we hear "a growl like metal ripping. A huge dog lunges from a dark corner, jaws foaming."
1 Rabid Dog appears!
(http://i.imgur.com/HjgV6zH.png)
People really need to stop leaving their raspberry sauce all over the place for dogs, it is just not healthy for them.
Let's not kill him, for reasons. You probably already know if you played even a short bit of Wasteland 2 as it kinda spoils this. This friggin' thing tries to maul me, then goes after Brotherman, if this guy didn't have the arbitrary power of game designers behind him we would've already gunned him down. He get's an extra nip off on Yoink's bum before we climb away.
Climbing a bit more we notice an opening. "The roof fell here once. You can barely move about. You note a broken human bone." Well, that's unfortunate for that man or woman, but not what we are looking for.
Going past the dog and getting mauled again, we find Jackie.
"Please help me get out of here."
We try to hire her and...
"Thank you for rescuing me."
Going back again, and getting mauled again thereby knocking Jackie unconscious and lowering Yoink to the brink of death. Causing me to have to reload. Great gameplay section everyone! I'm sure I'll love this game.
Apparently using a match makes Rex the maulinator into less dangerous version through fire pheromones or some archaic nonsense so we do that.
We eventually get Jackie out and afterwards buy a crowbar. So ends this update.
I'm not sure what we even accomplished this update, but it certainly happened.
Post by: Yoink on May 20, 2016, 08:30:17 am
I gave up on the place after I couldn't figure out what to say to that annoying kid. :P
Keep up the good work!
Post by: A Thing on May 25, 2016, 02:01:00 pm
Spoiler: Vermin Valor and Victory (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/KQ1OwtY.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/3ev8HaB.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/5mweuN8.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/W0sKMJJ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/zV1NPyh.png)
As you can see, we've spent some time on guard duty outside Highpool. We've been reassigned to Ag Center for pest control duty so we even get to test these new abilities out!
(http://i.imgur.com/47zpbP9.png)
Well, the enemies we'll be fighting after these leftover Wasteland Warriors get out of the way.
We charge at them, they move closer, it is a good time for everyone.
(http://i.imgur.com/pQBDrgm.png)
This, however, is not a good time for everyone as Rob gets nicked by one of the many in the indistinguishable beanie horde. I knew I shouldn't allowed the cowards to retreat!
More grazing hits and minor bruises, but it is all overshadowed by Brotherman prying out the brainpan of an already battered Wasteland Warrior with his crowbar, sending the lesser willed of the horde back into the dunes.
More peckish attempts at murder, and Brotherman tears open another Wastelander sending the rest of the armed burglary flash mob back into whatever dark crevices they were hiding in previously.
They don't stay in their crevices for long however, and are soon back at their old shenanigans of better positioning and piss poor snap shots.
Somehow one of the Beanie Burglars gets a shot off on A Thing that knocks him out. Yoink takes this as an insult and forcibly separates his left ventricle with his makeshift surgery implement.
Timid blasts, and terrible thrashings. Rob cracks opens up a Cigar Crook like a crustacean, and unfortunately he isn't full of treasure, just tainted meat. The Leftover Larcenists quickly fade into the distance once again.
All except one that decides he wants to be the child of destiny that changes it all, but he isn't. He is swiftly hit, immediately collapses, then through incompetence or fear ends up plummeting into the very same crevice that his partners disappeared into; at least his burial will be cheap.
This whole event gives the survivors either a good sense of vengeful fury, or a primal reaction of survival, either way they attempt to make a stand.
Yoink tosses one half of the Desperate Desperados back into irradiated pits, and the other is brutalized to oblivion, even Jackie somehow manages to get a jab into his spine. To say this was a failure would be a lavish depiction of events.
Thankfully, no other Unwanted Unrights show up so we can finally enter and rest in Ag Center.
(http://i.imgur.com/bFJKHSF.png)
Outside of the closest building to the entrance of Ag Center we see, "A group of ten men with axes, hoes, rakes, and shovels, shake their heads with despair." A scene ripe with opportunities for championship and excellency. We walk forward, with the noble goal of mutual growth in mind.
"Closer now, you can hear the conversation of the men you saw when you came in. There is a short silence after each man voices his thoughts. They speak of varmints who are impossible to kill. The varmints are stealing their food faster than ever before and they seem to be massing for a major attack. the simple weapons of the farmers are not enough to stop them. They have no idea what to do. One of them jumps as he notices you and they all turn to face you. A stocky man they call Miguel approaches." This is, by the way, the first voiced paragraph we've encountered. Not much I can do to show that off in a screenshot LP, but you can probably imagine the narration.
We offer to help, with absolutely no external modifiers affecting the choice.
"Miguel is pleased. The other farmers smile and thank you. They lead you to the vegetable field."
"In the shadow of an enormous satellite tracking dish stands the old man. Over 100 years old, he is still vigorous and bright of eye, although he rambles incoherently at times. (That's just because he is a filthy mutant however, and not due to old age.) The farmers remove their hats as they approach and wait for him to speak. Frowning, deep in thought, he stares at what appears to be the remains of a 15-foot tail carrot. He holds a long shaft of broken metal in one hand and mumbles something about wascally wabbits that he had to beat away with his best rake.
Miguel explains that you have come to help. The old man studies your weapons, and tells you that he doesn't think your peashooters will do any good against the armored varmints, but that you're welcome to try. If you succeed, he wants you to come back and see him. There is something he would like to show you. (The second head that is growing out of his back?)
Free to roam the veggie field, you head towards the carrot patch. From a distance, you hear the old man warn you, Watch out for Harry, the Bunny Master!"
(http://i.imgur.com/zuuIqu5.png)
We don't watch out for the Bunny Master, but we do watch this satellite dish intently.
"A large satellite tracking dish, aimed to the north. The white metal struts and plates shine as if they were new." as for the catapult\seesaw to the east "A catapult aimed at the north wall." invigorating descriptions indeed.
(http://i.imgur.com/U86sigI.png)
Going north we see a "Root Cellar" that we can't enter and encounter some "Armored, long-eared, pink and white lumps of fur" chewing on a 15 foot tall carrot. Not much to say about the battle as we vastly outclass these enemies. Going west of the mediocre carrot eaters, we see "Spuds. Freshly unearthed potatoes watch you with their eyes." then "Three foot tall black rats race towards you with gleaming eyes and razor-sharp teeth."
The four rats lives are sloppily snuffed out by hungering crowbars, an unfortunate fate at best.
Going even farther west we see "Wheat. A lot of it." and going west of that we see the simply named "Big Beans."
After that, we see not just overgrown fauna and flora, but a man. Not just any man either, but a man we were warned about, the... Bunny Master!
(http://i.imgur.com/5MY78DP.png)
"A large farmer is walking around among the green leaves of this carrot patch. Sensing your approach, he stops moving and watches you with his ominous eyes, filled with hatred for you and your kind. This is Harry, the Bunny Master."
With no alternatives to violence, we approach, crowbars at the ready.
Every member of the team gets a bash, slash, or jab in on Harry. Harry himself manages to achieve a fairly shaking blow on Rob, impressive if there weren't five of us, one of him, and only a single rabbit as his companion.
No one in the squad does anything significant to Harry, so Harry decides to compensate by almost knocking Yoink into unconsciousness through a full body tackle. Thankfully for Yoink, he manages to wrestle out of his crushing grasp before he is smothered into a different type of dreaming.
Rob takes advantage of the situation and breaks open Harry's exposed neck, ending his reign as the Vermin King. This doesn't stop the surviving bunny from slamming Yoink into a nearby plow, giving him a bit of well earned shut eye.
A Thing just kicks the thing and it goes careening off in some direction, never to be seen again.
The self-proclaimed Bunny Master's wallet contains 12 dollars, guess he didn't need much money as a druid. Hopefully our reward from the Old Man will be better.
Speaking of the Old Man... "The Old Man is pleased to see that you have killed Harry. His destruction will demoralize the remaining varmints. A holiday will be declared in your honor. Farmers cheer nearby. Murdering the cute little animals has rescued their major food supply."
Well that's nice, but where is the reward? The answer is that there is none.
(http://i.imgur.com/GtNb7kZ.png)
Welp, let's get our reward on our own then. Going north we picklock a door, and get a club. Going north beyond that we picklock another door and enter a new field, presumably with treasures to be found. It really doesn't, but we do find Opossums which we promptly butcher.
(http://i.imgur.com/bOO0xJZ.png)
Then we find this, we consider climbing over the walls to it, but the "High wall made of adobe with several black scorch marks stands here. Barbed wire lines the top." so it seems more productive to just pick the lock.
In the lootbag itself we find 5 fruits, which do... nebulous things. Not sure if this was worth it.
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
We end up back in the southern field and see a man next to the Root Cellar, but before we talk to him we radio back to base and find out that Rob is now a Senior Specialist! Turns out that the 450 experience from killing Harry boosted her up quite a bit.
(http://i.imgur.com/kay9CwQ.png)
Here are the new stats for her. I also remember to equip Brotherman with a club, so he's using that now to beat down all the random encounters here. We're getting a bit distracted with that, so let's get back to this man near the Root Cellar.
"The Old man asks, "Do you want to see my Root Cellar?" I suppose this is our reward, but they didn't object to me taking things so I consider that part of the reward too. Regardless, we accept the Root Cellar offer and see that "This area has many strange, irregular mounds of dirt. Mushrooms grow everywhere."
Proceeding in deeper we notice that "Seemingly edible mushrooms are everywhere, but they are just filthy enough not to eat."
That's all there is in that long corridor, but going up ahead we see a door. Going through "The rotting door that rests on broken hinges." we see...
(http://i.imgur.com/WK12SaO.png)
...this.
"This room would have been a electronics hack's dream a hundred years ago, but all the equipment now seems gone beyond repair."
There are a variety of tables that house such things as "An instrument console with broken gauges, covered by a fine layer of dust." to "Old, junked radio equipment." Nothing of actual value though so we head into the storage room.
(http://i.imgur.com/lahx20I.png)
"This area is obviously a storage room, with many old wooden crates and empty boxes."
Most of these boxes have nothing, but there a number of boxes that do have items such as: 1 grenade, 2 UP91z Pistols, a 9mm clip, and a plastic explosive. Grenades and plastic explosives go to Yoink, obviously, the rest stays with Brotherman.
We climb out of the Root Cellar, having explored its contents. South to new areas we go!
(http://i.imgur.com/YTli4v0.png)
"Four foot tall pears, pleasingly plump, perfectly prepared possibly, to plummet perilously from their precarious perches and pummel and passing pedestrian to a pasty, putrid, pulp" I might have ignored most of the crop descriptions, but I couldn't miss this one both because it is memorable and it is right next to where we want to go.
We picked the door, which yields us with a crowbar and 10 fruits. Amazing, let's go west.
(http://i.imgur.com/ZcjFqKE.png)
We find a suspiciously grass-like tunnel. Must be leftovers of Harry's druidcraft. With no reason not to, we decide to slide down into the rabbit hole is the best course of action.
(http://i.imgur.com/m9DE9Ms.png)
"This area smells very strongly of animals and damp dirt. It's dark and hard to see."
This cavern is full of vermin and little else, I'll come back with a list at the end of this.
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
We get a bunch of fruit and another grenade. We leave through the cavern's back entrance and then sell all our fruit for some decent cash as I don't know what else to do with it. Since we've fixed Ag Center's problems I decide to radio back to Ranger Center which yields a level for Brotherman that looks something like this
(http://i.imgur.com/IgJXtZU.png)
So ends the update.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 26, 2016, 02:56:46 am
Post by: A Thing on May 26, 2016, 03:21:16 pm
This looks good. I really should play the game myself, have had it for a while and only touched it for a bit.
If you do decide to play it, make sure to keep backups of the saves as the game doesn't have multiple save slots. The directory of the saves (on a Windows system) is [Whatever you installed it on]\Users\[Your name]\AppData\Local\InXile entertainment\Wasteland.
Post by: A Thing on May 30, 2016, 12:56:23 am
Spoiler: Nomadic Nuisances with Negative Natures (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/bFJKHSF.png)
We're still at Ag Center, and unlike last time we remain unchanged. And so is the rest of the world, so let's go change it, eh?
(http://i.imgur.com/uZeGQq9.png)
The trek north to the Rail Nomads is uneventful and uninteresting besides the eerie lack of Beanie Burglars. They must be preparing for something.
Whatever that plot be, it is a less pressing matter than us having come upon...
"...the rail-nomads' camp. Ornery looking longhorn cattle wander among dusty tents, from which sullen faces peer. In the background, a ramshackle collection of railroad cars, patched with wood, hide, and an odd piece of corrugated aluminum, sits on a rail siding. Two of the cars, the locomotive at the front and the caboose at the rear, appear to be in better condition than the others. As you approach, a strained silence fails (sic) over the camp and you grow uncomfortable under the collective gaze of the assembled nomads. (Uncomfortable because they are just mutant enough to be a good source of protein, but just human enough that people will look at your choice of sustenance funny.) Finally, one of the nomads steps forward. "Welcome, Rangers. I am the Brakeman of this train. I would be honored if you would visit with me in the caboose (I'll leave this easily seen opportunity to you, take it or don't.) before leaving our camp. In the meantime, please accept our hospitality." The Brakeman turns and strides back into the camp."
(http://i.imgur.com/jIhEHJ9.png)
That might be a tempting opportunity, but this tiny man demands our attention.
"As you pass the open doorway of this car you are almost overcome by the strong odor of fermented cactus fruit. As your eyes become accustomed to the darkness of the car you can make out a straw-covered floor littered with numerous bottle of Dr. B. Bilious Balfour's Snake Squeezins. At the back of the car lolls a rotund Bearded figure rocking back and forth as if the mere act 01 (sic) sitting offered a difficult feat of balance. Finally, seeming to take notice of you, the shadowy figure issues an invitation: "Welcome to my humble abode, gentlefolk. Step on in."
Unable to resist his miniature charms, we step in as predicted.
"Enter and be enlightened ...HIC... and amazed by the wisdom of the Hobo! HIC ... SNORT... The Hobo beams at you blearily. "Good people, I would like nothing better than to speak to you of things spiritual, but alas I seem to have run short of the ambrosia which inspires my visions!" To demonstrate, the Hobo upends an empty bottle of snake squeezins."
"The hobo looks at you expectantly..."
We neither have the ability to pay him or need his services, so we visit the caboose as we are expected to.
"The Brakeman meets you at the door of the caboose. He thanks you for heeding his invitation, and he has something for you to deliver to the Head Crusher in Quartz."
"He asks if you will deliver the message?" The game is unsure as to the current events, but I'm not so YES we will deliver.
"The Brakeman tells you, "Take this visa card and give it to Head Crusher in Quartz." As the Brakeman passes you the card, the sunlight catches the dove hologram and glints brightly. You slide it into your breast pocket as he turns and leaves without another word."
While that might seem to be more immediately concerning, I assure you that investigating the "Empty Tent Storage Carts" and Trading Car is a more pressing matter.
(http://i.imgur.com/mnzUOsl.png)
This familiar face has the parts Highpool needs, but it costs $500 which we don't have so I just buy everyone a sledgehammer as recompense for the damaging disappointment.
(http://i.imgur.com/60Md3zk.png)
The car to the west of the Trading Car is a gambling place which is a good place to lose money (like I did when I visited it) but very little else, and the places to the south require some sort of passcode to enter so they don't help either. Which leaves us with nothing else to do but talk to the Engineer, which we do.
"As you board the locomotive you are met by a short, but solid looking fellow. He is dressed in garishly striped overalls and wears a rather battered and much patched engineer's cap. "Greetings, I am the Engineer of this train." The Engineer makes a sweeping gesture that encompasses the entire camp. "I hope your stay with us will be a pleasant one."
"The engineer smiles and asks how he may be of assistance."
Why don't we have a little chat.
"We have three clans here: the Atchisons, the Topekas, and the Sante Fes. You may acquire provisions for your party at our trading car or amuse yourselves in the casino car. You may, of course, avail yourselves of the services of our Hobo oracle. I am told that you have already met our Brakeman." At the mention of the Brakeman a brief scowl crosses the Engineer's face, but his smile quickly returns and he adds, "We feel safer with Rangers here, so stay as long as you like!"
How about that Brakeman, eh?
"The engineer looks unhappy.
"Unfortunately, we have been burdened by a fool for a Brakeman. He insists on dabbling in arcane matters. He actually suggested that we use an engine instead of cattle to pull the train. The idiot will bring the wrath of the gods down upon us yet!"
And the visa card?
"The Head Crusher likes visa cards." The man smiles. "He slathers peanut butter on them and eats them." He shakes his head. "Weird, but then, most everything is weird out here - present company excepted, of course." Keep up with that attitude, mutant, you might even earn yourself a spot on the dessert table.
Let's start involving ourselves a bit in the local politics with a couple small questions, beginning with the Sante Fe.
"The Sante Fe are the poorest of the clans, but are generally honest folk."
What about the Atchisons?
"The Engineer smiles. "The Atchisons," he says, "are a trustworthy and hard working lot. I myself am an Atchison. The Brakeman is too, but I suspect he has some Topekan on his Mother's side."
The Topekans have little good about them I would assume?
"The engineer shakes his head. "The Topekan clan is rich and powerful. I hesitate to speak against one of our own clans, but I wouldn't trust 'em as far as you could throw 'em."
What's the deal with the Hobo?
"We are particularly blessed with out Hobo," says the Engineer. "Not only does he bring much luck and spiritual blessing but he is a renowned oracle and many come from far away to hear his words. Sadly we lost our last hobo when, befuddled by a divine vision, he fell from his car in Needles."
Tragic, so tragic in fact that we leave to Quartz, unable to look at rail cars any longer.
(http://i.imgur.com/qVX1mWb.png)
On the way there we somehow manage to fall into this river. Suffice it to say with our swimming skill, we flee quickly.
(http://i.imgur.com/i7K6OPT.png)
Entering Quartz we see this. Looks like a friendly place. Of all the places we can go, Scott's Bar seems the most promising.
"Scott's Bar is noisy and smoky with many people and tables. To the west is the bar. To the east is a low stage."
East sounds like the way to go then.
"A pretty barmaid speeds by. (That's a bit of a redundant adjective, don't you think? This is a RPG vaguely related to Bard's Tale after all.) Her nametage says: "Hi, I'm Ellen!" She only stands still near the bar." If I were to have a daughter her name would likely be Ellen as I like the name, with that fact in mind let's continue on our journey to the opposite side of the bar.
We get interrupted by passing chatter, and how can we ignore that?
(http://i.imgur.com/mAJYL55.png)
"The locals at this table are talking among themselves. They stop, staring at you until you move away."
"You overheard enough to realize the townspeople are concerned about the mayor and other hostages held by the gang."
Seems like getting to the Head Crusher is going to be a more excruciating task than expected. Unfortunate, but not unexpected. Maybe the entertainment will be less unfortunate.
(http://i.imgur.com/evchO7A.png)
"Several shapely dancers prance out onto the stage." So shapely in fact that our eyes have to censor their existence and all we see is floating clothes on the stage.
Having seen the underwhelming entertainment, we walk around the stage and are told
(http://i.imgur.com/in5cNPv.png)
"Don't touch that dial; we want to hear Ratt again!" The thugs by the jukebox draw blades and attack." These New Wavers believe in preemptive strikes, unfortunately for all of their loved ones.
Brotherman sends the leader of the Punks flying, the rafters strike the finishing blow.
Rob crushes a generic punk's ribcage, and A Thing's blow sends the other punk's headgear into its rocking skull, at least his death was as metal as his life.
Rob then bashes the sole punk and it simply collapses.
We rifle through the corpses claiming our reward of: 47 cash, 4 knives, and a message
"You notice something written on the dead carcass."
"The words are: Gen Quart Thana Toes."
"You get a flash of insight: their general HQ, probably a hideout, uses a password THANATOS."
Investigating the various empty tables south of the dead punks we see more curious things on the various tabletops such as: "UQTU" spelled out in liquid from a spilled drink, and graffiti saying "DRINK." Another bit of graffiti says the oddly helpful statement of "Check out the Head Crusher in the back corner." Having read that convenient bit of graffiti we should probably act upon it and get out of this place.
(http://i.imgur.com/NmJzlvC.png)
"There is a picture of a man painted on this door." Head Crusher? This looks like the right place.
"A man walking out gives the females (Sorry Yoink, the game said it, not me.) among you a funny look."
(http://i.imgur.com/JgFQ4Gl.png)
"You see two figures struggling in the corner. One turns and pulls a pistol. "Get out", he snarls." Weird office this Head Crusher has, and such rude guards too! Let's teach these mutants some manners.
Rob gives him a fatal dunk, what a way to go. Time to speak to Head Crusher.
"A teenage boy is collapsed in the corner with his head in his arms. "Don't kill me!" he cries. "I'll tell you anything!"
"You show him you mean no harm. He is (not Head Crusher) shaken but will answer questions if he can."
Let's start this the proper way, that is, with a CHAT.
"Have you heard about Ugly's gang at the courthouse? Talk to the riddler north of the bar."
Who is this riddler?
"That old coot sure has weird riddles! Laurie copied the right answer on one of the tabletops." Think we know the answer then, how nice.
What was that about Laurie?
He tells us about the gang again. Laurie must be a sore subject.
Fine, who is Ugly? Besides 3/4 of this party.
"The kid spits, "That leather-wrapped monosynaptic bully! He tried to pick up my sister Laurie!" Good thing she is big-boned then, eh?
This self-appointed courthouse anything special?
"Everyone in town knows where they are keeping the mayor. The courthouse is on Quail Trail?"
Quail Trail? Is that a cereal or a road?
We get no answer besides his stock line about Ugly. Must really hate Quail or something.
The mayor is missing?
He, again, gives us a useless answer.
Anything more on this originally named gang?
"These freaks are all over Quartz. Lots of them are at the Courthouse, and more on Devastation Row."
Having drained him of any useful knowledge, we pick up the stray M1911 and 45. clip off of the dead outlaw.
Since that bathroom was a bastion of information, how about we try the ladies room?
"A well-muscled woman stops you at the door. "There are ladies inside, gents. Use your own."
Looks like Rob is going to have to go in alone. I can't see anything bad coming from her 5 charisma.
"By the sinks are two women who stopped talking when you entered. One lady has been crying."
According to the guide we could use confidence or charisma here, but IQ works just as well. If this is a common occurrence then charisma is even more useless than I thought.
"You say something that instantly charms these two, (The writers can't be bothered to think something up however, so your going to have to make your own charming quips.) and they smile. "Maybe you can help us?" they say."
"Everyone is worried about Mayor Pedros but others are held hostage too. Felicia Pedros, his wife, is our friend. We think she has been moved to the outlaw hideout. We hope you will try to rescue her. And remember what Ellen said when you go to the Stagecoach Inn." They smile and leave." All of that sounds suspiciously like we've gotten ourselves into a favor, oh well, we were going to kill all of the outlaws anyway.
(http://i.imgur.com/JgFQ4Gl.png)
Going further southeast in a hope-filled attempt to finally find Head Crusher we are instead greeted by... "A gunsel stepping from the shadows, snapping, "We have a private game here. You are not invited!"
Brotherman snaps back and the gunsel stumbles back into the corner, lifeless.
Having had a decent sense of style, A Thing pulls the gunsel's jacket over his existing clothes. The remaining gun and clips go to Jackie.
(http://i.imgur.com/JgFQ4Gl.png)
Having seen what just happened "The card players stop their game and grab guns. One carries a rifle!"
The rifleman doesn't seem to be confident in his ability to aim at targets 30 feet away, so he decides to posture while the rangers advance.
With the rangers being a bit closer, the outlaws and riflemen take out both A Thing and Jackie in a effective flurry.
Yoink is temporarily taken down, inspiring Rob to crush a guard under the weight of his recently deceased comrade. All the while Brotherman makes a moderately successful assault on the Ozoner, but fails to end him.
The next round features Yoink and Jackie getting closelined while Brotherman crunches the brittle bones of the Ozoner. Rob takes a brief break as Brotherman took her only favorable opportunity.
Combat ends with Yoink dodging bullets while unconscious, A Thing waking up and killing the first thing he sees and grievously wounding the other thing he sees. That same thing is then swiftly put out of its misery by Rob.
The loot of 300 dollars is offered to Brotherman and the pistols are given out to be sold later. With that done, we finally start heading to the corner the Head Crusher is hiding out in.
(http://i.imgur.com/JgFQ4Gl.png)
But just as we pass the bathrooms, two thugs turn the corner with pistols raised! They aren't made of stronger stuff than the last ones and go down much the same despite of their good sense of dramatic timing.
(http://i.imgur.com/ELUMsZV.png)
As seen here, we finally meet Head Crusher who "invites us to sit down." Sitting down in this town involves applying the visa card onto the chair despite what common sense might dictate.
After participating in the local rituals Head Crusher says to us, "Thank you. Go to the Atchison's tent and tell them CATERPILLAR."
"Sitting here is a mean looking wrestler-like thug, smiling vacuously as he drinks from an dirty glass. Want to pick a topic?"
We sure do, the topic of CHAT.
"Seen the dancer yet? You don't think I look mutant, do you?"
What dancer?
"You like the Mutie Cuties? One of them is a terrible flirt. She gets people in trouble."
With that amazing revelation having occurred we leave for greener pastures, such as the bar.
(http://i.imgur.com/in5cNPv.png)
And immediately we decide to "push in close and get shoved in the shoulder. "Watch where you push, boychik!"
"Chill out," you say." At the very least it is what Brotherman says, because what else would he say?
They don't like that answer and try to pummel Brotherman, it doesn't work out.
Rob takes out two with some conveniently placed and poorly crafted bottles as the rest of the party scrambles for deadly implements but fails to find any.
While the party continues to fail, Rob continues on her killing spree and breaks open a punk's esophagus with the sharp edge of the bar, sending blood everywhere.
Brotherman shoves a complimentary peanut down the Pink-haired Pundit. The various bacteria that has accumulated over the century causes his stomach to rupture, ending his life in a way no man's should. Yoink swings one of the bar-stools at another Counterculture Culprit and sends his body flying straight into the deep fry.
With the last attacker dazed from what happened, Rob takes the opportunity to jam the abomination known as the spork into his spine; ending the combat.
Somehow those random jerks managed to get 60 dollars. It's in much better hands now.
With the various suggestions to talk to Ellen, and our party unable to fit into the stools, Brotherman splits off from the party to do what they can't do for arcane reasons. And, of course, Ellen herself isn't anywhere to be found, but the titular Scott is!
"The barkeep wipes up a spill. "How-do Ranger
Bring thine info unto me, Scott of Quartz.
"Info costs, too:"
The dancer digest only cost $1, so we might as well pick it up.
"You like the Mutie Cuties?" (Now I understand why it cost $1.) No, we don't like the Mutie Cuties don't even continue, you con.
How about the Rangers Reader? Maybe it isn't a complete rip-off.
"A guy name Ace is looking for a few good fighters to go back to Vegas with him. Something nasty is going on there."
Sounds like something worth noting or even acting upon, you know, if it weren't for the fact we still have most of the southern areas of Arizona to explore.
How about a chat? Or does that cost money too?
"I wish I had time to chat!" moans Scott. "You may have better luck elsewhere in the bar, though."
I'm happy that you continue to be a beacon of mediocre information and bad prices, enjoy your cleaning.
"Scott shrugs at you and continues cleaning."
Brotherman continues his quest to find Ellen, and succeeds at this formidable task.
"The barmaid Ellen is harried. "You got something to say to me?"
she asks brusquely."
Yes, the evocative words of... ...chat.
"Gwaan! (You n'wah!) I have no time to yak with yahoos like you!"
Tell me about the Inn.
"I cannot waste time with your foolishness", she glares and hurries to another table."
One step east, one step west, annnnnd she's back!
Password please?
Nope, she has no time for our passwords. Before we leave the bar, let's see if that riddler knows anything of value.
While Brotherman returns to the party a singular Ghoulish Gangsters gets the bright idea of ambushing him, he doesn't last long.
"You see an old man sitting here looking glum. "Buy me a drink, kiddo?" he asks."
Sure, why not?
"The old codger smiles a gap-toothed grin. "Thank ye kindly!" he says."
Despite what he might want, that's all he gets as he is no riddler.
"The old man takes the refusal apathetically."
(http://i.imgur.com/bxXk1jQ.png)
Now, without further ado say hello to... the Riddler!
"An impish oldster grins as you come up. He says, "You look bright. Any good at riddles? Answer right, be rewarded!"
"His eyes twinkle. "Buy me a drink, bucko. Riddles are thirsty work!"
Take the drink and get on with it already you wrinkled cadaver!
"What is often eaten for breakfast, sometimes eaten at lunch, but usually drunk only at dinner?"
Grapes?
"The old man grins, showing yellow teeth. "Nice try, he says, but no cigar."
"So you will have another riddle. First, buy me another drink, okay?"
We're going to lose all of our money through this, but how could we admit defeat to a riddler?
"What is found in the center of both America and Australia?"
That's for you to decide viewers, because I don't know and I'm not looking it up. Next update will probably be on Thursday or Friday, brainstorm until then.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 30, 2016, 04:10:51 am
I also rather enjoy the way these brave Rangers are just beating the shit out of basically everything they run across on their travels.
Post by: A Thing on June 02, 2016, 12:35:56 am
I also rather enjoy the way these brave Rangers are just beating the shit out of basically everything they run across on their travels.
We have to assert our dominance somehow. Who else would put these Pretentious Pukesters in their place?
Spoiler: URABUTLN URABUTLN URABUTLN-R! (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/bxXk1jQ.png)
Remember that riddle? I think you do. Well, I actually got a glance of the answer to this one as I was looking through the dialogue keywords, (to make sure I went through all the important ones) and I assumed it was an answer for something else due to how idiotic it would be in this context: it wasn't.
The answer to this question is R, R. Let that sink in. Maybe go and cook something, maybe make a glass of tea, let it sit. Now that you've done that, back to R.
This, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia#/media/File:Reliefmap_of_Australia.png) is the word Australia, it is a continent, and a country. This, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States#/media/File:USA-satellite.jpg) is the word America it is also a continent and a nation. If either of those continents or nations failed to exist then the words simply would also fail to exist. Therefore, you don't think of the word "Australia" or "America" when you read or hear it do you? No, you think of the continent or nation, not the word. Because there isn't a word without the location or nation! With that in mind, why the hell is this the answer to the riddle?
It could be to delay people so they spend more time on the game, it could be that they wanted people to buy the hintbook thinking there was a reward, could be that the writer thought the riddle was clever. Whatever arbitrary or logical reason it was, I can safely say that as far as I'm concerned that this is a terrible riddle. With that done let's actually get back to the game then, eh?
"Congratulations! That is quite right." I disagree with anything to do with that riddle being 'right.'
Might as well do the last one, might as well.
"Last riddle", he says, "but important. In just 8 letters, how do you compliment the barmaid?" Answer to this is on one of the tables as we were told earlier, so I guess I should go and find that.
(http://i.imgur.com/E1LXnk0.png)
I find it without really any trouble, bit of a shame really, but this riddler has wasted enough of everyone's time already.
URABUTLN, URABUTLN, URABUTLN, damn you!
"Absolutely correct!" he chortles. "Tell her so, and your work will become easier." He thanks you for the drinks and leaves." /wrists
To the possible bastard child than, as we've got to gain something out of this waste.
"The barmaid Ellen is harried. "You got something to say to me?" she asks brusquely."
URABUTLN URABUTLN URABUTLN and a thousand curses upon ye!
"She grins broadly. "URAQT2, and trustworthy to boot, I bet." This sounds like some Scientology shenanigans, we should probably get out now.
"Take my roomkey - Stagecoach, 18 - you'll know what to do." She winks and goes back to work."
Unsure if this situation is distressing or arousing. Probably shouldn't think about it too much, Herakles surely doesn't. Also worth noting that it appears that she left for Switzerland after giving us the key, since we can no longer find or talk to her. Farewell for all of eternity then, nebulously attractive maiden.
To you viewer, I also say farewell. Not forever, but until I do the full update tomorrow.
Remember that riddle? I think you do. Well, I actually got a glance of the answer to this one as I was looking through the dialogue keywords, (to make sure I went through all the important ones) and I assumed it was an answer for something else due to how idiotic it would be in this context: it wasn't.
The answer to this question is R, R. Let that sink in. Maybe go and cook something, maybe make a glass of tea, let it sit. Now that you've done that, back to R.
This, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia#/media/File:Reliefmap_of_Australia.png) is the word Australia, it is a continent, and a country. This, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States#/media/File:USA-satellite.jpg) is the word America it is also a continent and a nation. If either of those continents or nations failed to exist then the words simply would also fail to exist. Therefore, you don't think of the word "Australia" or "America" when you read or hear it do you? No, you think of the continent or nation, not the word. Because there isn't a word without the location or nation! With that in mind, why the hell is this the answer to the riddle?
It could be to delay people so they spend more time on the game, it could be that they wanted people to buy the hintbook thinking there was a reward, could be that the writer thought the riddle was clever. Whatever arbitrary or logical reason it was, I can safely say that as far as I'm concerned that this is a terrible riddle. With that done let's actually get back to the game then, eh?
"Congratulations! That is quite right." I disagree with anything to do with that riddle being 'right.'
Might as well do the last one, might as well.
"Last riddle", he says, "but important. In just 8 letters, how do you compliment the barmaid?" Answer to this is on one of the tables as we were told earlier, so I guess I should go and find that.
(http://i.imgur.com/E1LXnk0.png)
I find it without really any trouble, bit of a shame really, but this riddler has wasted enough of everyone's time already.
URABUTLN, URABUTLN, URABUTLN, damn you!
"Absolutely correct!" he chortles. "Tell her so, and your work will become easier." He thanks you for the drinks and leaves." /wrists
To the possible bastard child than, as we've got to gain something out of this waste.
"The barmaid Ellen is harried. "You got something to say to me?" she asks brusquely."
URABUTLN URABUTLN URABUTLN and a thousand curses upon ye!
"She grins broadly. "URAQT2, and trustworthy to boot, I bet." This sounds like some Scientology shenanigans, we should probably get out now.
"Take my roomkey - Stagecoach, 18 - you'll know what to do." She winks and goes back to work."
Unsure if this situation is distressing or arousing. Probably shouldn't think about it too much, Herakles surely doesn't. Also worth noting that it appears that she left for Switzerland after giving us the key, since we can no longer find or talk to her. Farewell for all of eternity then, nebulously attractive maiden.
To you viewer, I also say farewell. Not forever, but until I do the full update tomorrow.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 02, 2016, 03:08:07 pm
Post by: A Thing on June 02, 2016, 08:40:48 pm
Spoiler: Inns and Imps (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/LW7OCDi.png)
Should be pretty obvious where we're going now, so let's not waste time.
(http://i.imgur.com/iJGnT9n.png)
Humanoid scum! Let the righteous slaughter commence!
The humanoids are restrained with their own chains and left out for the benefit of the neighborhood ghouls.
(http://i.imgur.com/iJGnT9n.png)
Another humanoid shows up, and without thought is thrown into a nearby manhole by A Thing.
(http://i.imgur.com/iJGnT9n.png)
More cutthroats and biker scum show up and meet similar fates. Ugly really needs new talent.
Considering all the murder, traveling, and riddles, it seems like a good idea to radio into Ranger Center.
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ETZsrJv.png)
Rob has achieved the rank of Corporal!
One of the bikers hears this going on and decides it is a opportune time to visit.
(http://i.imgur.com/mg7T1kV.png)
Rob decides it an opportune time to send a mutant soaring off into lands unknown. The biker finds it a hard offer to dispute, and accepts the terms and conditions.
Two Maddened Motorists and a Grotesque Gunman see this transaction happening and rush in to take part while it still lasts. Thankfully the party still has plenty to offer, and the Gesturing Gangsters are satisfied.
(http://i.imgur.com/mnzUOsl.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/4vMMHqx.png)
The party continues their trek and fails to find the Inn but they do find the Quartz Emporium and decide to purchase 5 axes and finally unload all of those terrible 9mm pistols.
Some gunsels pop out various dark corners and the party tests out their newly claimed axes on them. It goes pretty well, even the gunsels end up having a good time.
(http://i.imgur.com/omN3KRz.png)
Heading down a new path, we finally spot the Stage Coach Inn. All that is left now is to sally forth into its depths.
(http://i.imgur.com/maUvMwq.png)
"Welcome to Stagecoach Inn." Thanks ethereal voice, I wasn't certain about our current location and needed that.
"The sign above the door says LOBBY." Friggin' Lobbyists corrupting our youths. Let's go teach them a lesson!
"There is a lobby desk here with a sleepylocal lobbyist behind it. A wood railing splits the room."
(http://i.imgur.com/EVbPJcZ.png)
We approach our first quarry and prepare for parley.
"The clerk asks, "Looking for INFO or a ROOM?"
INFO about your agenda, fiend!
"Rooms cost $50," he says. "No charge for that!"
What ROOMS do you use in this operation?
"Here is your key, Room 10." It seems that he took our money without even asking for confirmation. Sadly, we can't chop him to pieces as he is hiding behind a NPC barricade.
Venturing deeper we end up in the diner. "The place looks deserted."
(http://i.imgur.com/Yu9RN7T.png)
Deserted besides this sneaky little corrupter who we approach for questioning.
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
But before that happens "The thugs pull guns. "We don't like people hanging around our table. Blow off!"
Their shots manage to send Brotherman tumbling over A Thing, knocking both of them unconscious. Yoink leaps over the sprawling mess of limbs and tears into the leader skull, sending him on a express tram to the spirit realm.
The two remaining Otherworldly Outlanders reload, ready, and fire; sending Jackie flying. A Thing takes advantage of this distraction by tossing his ax vaguely in the direction of the Outlander. His mediocre luck surprisingly prevails and the Outlander ribs fail to fend off the alien object.
Finally realizing his leader's assailant, the Surviving Shotgunner unloads two shells into Yoink. His victory is short lived as the recoil from the blast sends him right in the way of Rob's swing.
The aftermath is far from complimentary to the hotel's style.
Our minuscule reward is two 45. clips, fantastic.
Walking towards the northeastern corner dude, we are told: "An old cook shakes a spoon at you. "I told ya to stay outta here!"
Uninterested in the Chef's goods, we saunter to the pool.
(http://i.imgur.com/0kuNUHA.png)
We swim around it in a bit in search of valuables, but find nothing. Looks like it is time for us to finally start searching around for the appropriate rooms. I'll be back in a bit.
Good thing it is just north of the pool, looks like I started searching in the right spot. Nothing left to do besides opening the door with the key, so Brotherman does that.
(http://i.imgur.com/NK4nfTd.png)
"You startle a woman in a wheelchair. "Hi, I am Laurie," she says. "My mom Ellen said you would come by."
"So I can be sure you are okay, (And not down with the Devil!) tell me what you said to Mom, or what she said to you."
URABUTLN URABUTLN URABUTLN
"You are all okay. (If a bit disconcerting.) We must be careful. (For the lion sleeps tonight.) I am sure you will free our town. Take what is on the table. It will help you free our town."
"The hostages are on the 3rd floor of the courthouse. A back stairway goes up from the 1st floor."
"The stairs are in the file room. The doors are steel (But are they massive blue steel doors?) and they are not heavily protected."
"We have learned that the password into the courthouse is MUERTE." I feel like I'm playing an Ultima game or something with all these really silly passwords. Sadly, MUERTE isn't resurrection or anything useful like that.
On the aforementioned table is the following: 2 manglers, (An AT weapon apparently, it does barely anymore damage than our axes though) 4 9mm clips, 5 grenades, 2 M1911s, and 356 money dollars. The money goes to Brotherman, the grenades to Yoink, and the crappy ammo and weapons to Jackie.
As we leave "Laurie spins her wheelchair and says, "Good luck. I won't be here if you return." To her home planet of Jamaica she also goes, farewell I suppose.
(http://i.imgur.com/cJ6oDRg.png)
Surveying the rest of the rooms we find a door stenciled "Housekeeping." Sounds pretty inviting, so we break in with picklock finding such things as shelves full of soapy solutions, shelves full of cans of chemicals, and apparently "This is a classy hotel. There are packs of paper strips to put around toilet seats." Sounds wonderful, almost as wonderful as this locked wooden cabinet we are about to picklock.
"Just as you open the door, you hear a voice behind you."
This unknown voice doesn't seem to bother Brotherman, however, as he picks up the Servo motor without even thinking.
"Two housekeepers yell "You have no business here!" and prepare to pummel you!"
(http://i.imgur.com/J5AjTrX.png)
Well, they asked for it, they are even smiling! Might as well brutally murder them.
A Thing and Yoink do exactly as predicted.
(http://i.imgur.com/K5wLLR7.png)
Opening the door at the back of the housekeeping room we "See bums sleeping in the alley."
"A bum stops you. "Bub, ya got some for me? I would shore appreshiate some." Presumably these guys want Snake Squeezins, which we don't have. Let's go and investigate the interesting looking rooms since apparently the passkey allows us entrance to all of them.
(http://i.imgur.com/6fegrGA.png)
This room has two people! Must be extremely important.
"Several people watch. "The writer," they say "is a great man. Do not bother him."
Maybe we should talk to this "writer."
(http://i.imgur.com/bhNnNtb.png)
"Do not bother him! His novel will bring Peace In Our Time!"
"A man works at the table. "I am writing the Last Great American Novel."
That is all there is to that room, fairly disappointing but there are still many more to go.
(http://i.imgur.com/wTfuzjN.png)
Such as this room with a person hiding in the corner.
"Bums have been living here. This place looks like a pigsty."
"The litter is revolting (And illegal!) and the stench makes you sick."
(http://i.imgur.com/VWMJKT5.png)
"The bums share quarters with mangy mongrels. Smelling strangers, the dogs circle warily, then leap."
(http://i.imgur.com/8zMuCNr.png)
"A mad-eyed bum lurches toward you, screaming wildly."
(http://i.imgur.com/96NNI0o.png)
Sally forth brave Rangers, kill the mutant scum!
Ravenous Rodents charge towards us! Such insolence must be punished, and it is.
Rob takes down two bums with one swing, and A Thing lops off the head of another.
Next round is very similar as both Rob and A Thing carve up more bums, ending the combat. Leaving only the corner dude to be prodded verbally.
Well, we think that until... "From a heap beside the chair, bums and curs together leap for your throat."
Rob tosses the table at the bums, killing both of them. The mongrels are somehow unfazed by this and take a few chunks out of Yoink and Rob.
Rob then takes more than a few chunks out of the mongrels as reparation.
Apparently after looking at the "Chair slumping by the wall." Brotherman raises his perception to 2 because he "Looked underneath and found..."
1 Snake Squeezin and 4 cash. Treasures beyond imagination.
How about that corner dude, eh?
"A young bum (oh my) is curled up around an empty jug. He is startled by your presence."
"Whaddya want?" he gawps. "Don't hurt me, I am nice. I talk if you talk..."
CHAT and now dammit!
"I got no money, nor Squeeze," he whines. "But I got a secret. The gang don't know."
What is this mythical secret?
"They got Mayor Pedros at the Courthouse. I found a back way they did not know."
Anything more specific on this "back way?"
"The secret way to the Courthouse is through Housekeeping at the back of the alley."
"You shake the bum. (Oh my x2) His eyes cross and he passes out."
We enter another room and are informed by the owner that "This is the Obliterator's room! Get out or die!"
(http://i.imgur.com/XBwdttI.png)
That is the portrait used in-game, probably a hint, maybe. Bit far-fetched, bit theoretical. Whatever it is, we charge at it for honor and such.
"The room is hung with camo cloth. You hear someone but cannot see anyone!" Witchcraft! Sorcery!
(http://i.imgur.com/JgFQ4Gl.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/W4N2uMG.png)
The Madman has been revealed! Turns out he isn't a ranger, that was just a placeholder I guess?
He fires at Rob and gives her a minor bruise, how interesting.
He shoots again, and gives more minor bruises before A Thing cleaves into his skull. Let's see what he was hiding in here.
80 cash and about 3 45 clips, really worth murdering sentients for.
From what knowledge a cursory search has given me it seems that most of the remaining rooms are just generic punks and maybe a unique sentence or two, so I'll provide a loot list for the curious but no narration. Enjoy.
Should probably radio in all that murder, eh?
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/bckrUme.png)
A Thing is now a SeniorCitizen Specialist.
(http://i.imgur.com/XubkzLq.png)
Jackie is now a Specialist in meatshieldry and applied packmuleonomics.
So ends this update.
Should be pretty obvious where we're going now, so let's not waste time.
(http://i.imgur.com/iJGnT9n.png)
Humanoid scum! Let the righteous slaughter commence!
The humanoids are restrained with their own chains and left out for the benefit of the neighborhood ghouls.
(http://i.imgur.com/iJGnT9n.png)
Another humanoid shows up, and without thought is thrown into a nearby manhole by A Thing.
(http://i.imgur.com/iJGnT9n.png)
More cutthroats and biker scum show up and meet similar fates. Ugly really needs new talent.
Considering all the murder, traveling, and riddles, it seems like a good idea to radio into Ranger Center.
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ETZsrJv.png)
Rob has achieved the rank of Corporal!
One of the bikers hears this going on and decides it is a opportune time to visit.
(http://i.imgur.com/mg7T1kV.png)
Rob decides it an opportune time to send a mutant soaring off into lands unknown. The biker finds it a hard offer to dispute, and accepts the terms and conditions.
Two Maddened Motorists and a Grotesque Gunman see this transaction happening and rush in to take part while it still lasts. Thankfully the party still has plenty to offer, and the Gesturing Gangsters are satisfied.
(http://i.imgur.com/mnzUOsl.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/4vMMHqx.png)
The party continues their trek and fails to find the Inn but they do find the Quartz Emporium and decide to purchase 5 axes and finally unload all of those terrible 9mm pistols.
Some gunsels pop out various dark corners and the party tests out their newly claimed axes on them. It goes pretty well, even the gunsels end up having a good time.
(http://i.imgur.com/omN3KRz.png)
Heading down a new path, we finally spot the Stage Coach Inn. All that is left now is to sally forth into its depths.
(http://i.imgur.com/maUvMwq.png)
"Welcome to Stagecoach Inn." Thanks ethereal voice, I wasn't certain about our current location and needed that.
"The sign above the door says LOBBY." Friggin' Lobbyists corrupting our youths. Let's go teach them a lesson!
"There is a lobby desk here with a sleepy
(http://i.imgur.com/EVbPJcZ.png)
We approach our first quarry and prepare for parley.
"The clerk asks, "Looking for INFO or a ROOM?"
INFO about your agenda, fiend!
"Rooms cost $50," he says. "No charge for that!"
What ROOMS do you use in this operation?
"Here is your key, Room 10." It seems that he took our money without even asking for confirmation. Sadly, we can't chop him to pieces as he is hiding behind a NPC barricade.
Venturing deeper we end up in the diner. "The place looks deserted."
(http://i.imgur.com/Yu9RN7T.png)
Deserted besides this sneaky little corrupter who we approach for questioning.
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
But before that happens "The thugs pull guns. "We don't like people hanging around our table. Blow off!"
Their shots manage to send Brotherman tumbling over A Thing, knocking both of them unconscious. Yoink leaps over the sprawling mess of limbs and tears into the leader skull, sending him on a express tram to the spirit realm.
The two remaining Otherworldly Outlanders reload, ready, and fire; sending Jackie flying. A Thing takes advantage of this distraction by tossing his ax vaguely in the direction of the Outlander. His mediocre luck surprisingly prevails and the Outlander ribs fail to fend off the alien object.
Finally realizing his leader's assailant, the Surviving Shotgunner unloads two shells into Yoink. His victory is short lived as the recoil from the blast sends him right in the way of Rob's swing.
The aftermath is far from complimentary to the hotel's style.
Our minuscule reward is two 45. clips, fantastic.
Walking towards the northeastern corner dude, we are told: "An old cook shakes a spoon at you. "I told ya to stay outta here!"
Uninterested in the Chef's goods, we saunter to the pool.
(http://i.imgur.com/0kuNUHA.png)
We swim around it in a bit in search of valuables, but find nothing. Looks like it is time for us to finally start searching around for the appropriate rooms. I'll be back in a bit.
Good thing it is just north of the pool, looks like I started searching in the right spot. Nothing left to do besides opening the door with the key, so Brotherman does that.
(http://i.imgur.com/NK4nfTd.png)
"You startle a woman in a wheelchair. "Hi, I am Laurie," she says. "My mom Ellen said you would come by."
"So I can be sure you are okay, (And not down with the Devil!) tell me what you said to Mom, or what she said to you."
URABUTLN URABUTLN URABUTLN
"You are all okay. (If a bit disconcerting.) We must be careful. (For the lion sleeps tonight.) I am sure you will free our town. Take what is on the table. It will help you free our town."
"The hostages are on the 3rd floor of the courthouse. A back stairway goes up from the 1st floor."
"The stairs are in the file room. The doors are steel (But are they massive blue steel doors?) and they are not heavily protected."
"We have learned that the password into the courthouse is MUERTE." I feel like I'm playing an Ultima game or something with all these really silly passwords. Sadly, MUERTE isn't resurrection or anything useful like that.
On the aforementioned table is the following: 2 manglers, (An AT weapon apparently, it does barely anymore damage than our axes though) 4 9mm clips, 5 grenades, 2 M1911s, and 356 money dollars. The money goes to Brotherman, the grenades to Yoink, and the crappy ammo and weapons to Jackie.
As we leave "Laurie spins her wheelchair and says, "Good luck. I won't be here if you return." To her home planet of Jamaica she also goes, farewell I suppose.
(http://i.imgur.com/cJ6oDRg.png)
Surveying the rest of the rooms we find a door stenciled "Housekeeping." Sounds pretty inviting, so we break in with picklock finding such things as shelves full of soapy solutions, shelves full of cans of chemicals, and apparently "This is a classy hotel. There are packs of paper strips to put around toilet seats." Sounds wonderful, almost as wonderful as this locked wooden cabinet we are about to picklock.
"Just as you open the door, you hear a voice behind you."
This unknown voice doesn't seem to bother Brotherman, however, as he picks up the Servo motor without even thinking.
"Two housekeepers yell "You have no business here!" and prepare to pummel you!"
(http://i.imgur.com/J5AjTrX.png)
Well, they asked for it, they are even smiling! Might as well brutally murder them.
A Thing and Yoink do exactly as predicted.
(http://i.imgur.com/K5wLLR7.png)
Opening the door at the back of the housekeeping room we "See bums sleeping in the alley."
"A bum stops you. "Bub, ya got some for me? I would shore appreshiate some." Presumably these guys want Snake Squeezins, which we don't have. Let's go and investigate the interesting looking rooms since apparently the passkey allows us entrance to all of them.
(http://i.imgur.com/6fegrGA.png)
This room has two people! Must be extremely important.
"Several people watch. "The writer," they say "is a great man. Do not bother him."
Maybe we should talk to this "writer."
(http://i.imgur.com/bhNnNtb.png)
"Do not bother him! His novel will bring Peace In Our Time!"
"A man works at the table. "I am writing the Last Great American Novel."
That is all there is to that room, fairly disappointing but there are still many more to go.
(http://i.imgur.com/wTfuzjN.png)
Such as this room with a person hiding in the corner.
"Bums have been living here. This place looks like a pigsty."
"The litter is revolting (And illegal!) and the stench makes you sick."
(http://i.imgur.com/VWMJKT5.png)
"The bums share quarters with mangy mongrels. Smelling strangers, the dogs circle warily, then leap."
(http://i.imgur.com/8zMuCNr.png)
"A mad-eyed bum lurches toward you, screaming wildly."
(http://i.imgur.com/96NNI0o.png)
Sally forth brave Rangers, kill the mutant scum!
Ravenous Rodents charge towards us! Such insolence must be punished, and it is.
Rob takes down two bums with one swing, and A Thing lops off the head of another.
Next round is very similar as both Rob and A Thing carve up more bums, ending the combat. Leaving only the corner dude to be prodded verbally.
Well, we think that until... "From a heap beside the chair, bums and curs together leap for your throat."
Rob tosses the table at the bums, killing both of them. The mongrels are somehow unfazed by this and take a few chunks out of Yoink and Rob.
Rob then takes more than a few chunks out of the mongrels as reparation.
Apparently after looking at the "Chair slumping by the wall." Brotherman raises his perception to 2 because he "Looked underneath and found..."
1 Snake Squeezin and 4 cash. Treasures beyond imagination.
How about that corner dude, eh?
"A young bum (oh my) is curled up around an empty jug. He is startled by your presence."
"Whaddya want?" he gawps. "Don't hurt me, I am nice. I talk if you talk..."
CHAT and now dammit!
"I got no money, nor Squeeze," he whines. "But I got a secret. The gang don't know."
What is this mythical secret?
"They got Mayor Pedros at the Courthouse. I found a back way they did not know."
Anything more specific on this "back way?"
"The secret way to the Courthouse is through Housekeeping at the back of the alley."
"You shake the bum. (Oh my x2) His eyes cross and he passes out."
We enter another room and are informed by the owner that "This is the Obliterator's room! Get out or die!"
(http://i.imgur.com/XBwdttI.png)
That is the portrait used in-game, probably a hint, maybe. Bit far-fetched, bit theoretical. Whatever it is, we charge at it for honor and such.
"The room is hung with camo cloth. You hear someone but cannot see anyone!" Witchcraft! Sorcery!
(http://i.imgur.com/JgFQ4Gl.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/W4N2uMG.png)
The Madman has been revealed! Turns out he isn't a ranger, that was just a placeholder I guess?
He fires at Rob and gives her a minor bruise, how interesting.
He shoots again, and gives more minor bruises before A Thing cleaves into his skull. Let's see what he was hiding in here.
80 cash and about 3 45 clips, really worth murdering sentients for.
From what knowledge a cursory search has given me it seems that most of the remaining rooms are just generic punks and maybe a unique sentence or two, so I'll provide a loot list for the curious but no narration. Enjoy.
- 1 knife
- 460 buckmans
- 1 leather jacket
- 2 9mm clips
- 1 TNT
- 5 45. clips
Should probably radio in all that murder, eh?
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/bckrUme.png)
A Thing is now a Senior
(http://i.imgur.com/XubkzLq.png)
Jackie is now a Specialist in meatshieldry and applied packmuleonomics.
So ends this update.
Post by: Bacos666 on June 03, 2016, 08:29:28 am
Always wanted to play it since I love the Fallout series so much...
PTW.
Post by: A Thing on June 03, 2016, 01:57:18 pm
How did I miss this?
Probably because I was updating it only about once a week before I put Age of Decadence on hiatus.
Post by: A Thing on June 04, 2016, 10:32:30 pm
Spoiler: Assemblies and Agitators (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/K5wLLR7.png)
I think this image gives more than enough information.
"The bum beams." "Thank ye kindly! Over there is a trap door."
"Behind a shattered table is a trap door."
Going down we see...
(http://i.imgur.com/PvQg4te.png)
...some science sorcery.
Pretty unclear as to what this place is, or how the Moronic Manglers actually maintain it. Who needs a fully functional garden in a courthouse anyway? Guess the mayor was a doomsday prepper.
"This is not a good place to climb the wall because the ceiling slopes in overhead." The only reasoning I can think of is that the trapdoor led us to a tunnel which opened up into this garden. If not, then somehow Ugly's gang has acquired a underground garden.
Thankfully this bit answers all of that pretty easily: "With luck and ability you might be able to climb the walls."
"The atrium walls are mostly glass and are three stories high."
"A hidden tunnel disappears under some rocks."
We then go up and at the mention of "vines that climb up" I decide to use our climb skill and we...
...go up.
(http://i.imgur.com/gkomB5I.png)
"You see meeting rooms through the glass. You can climb up but not down. Vines on the south wall indicate a way down."
I feel as if I've unintentionally made this whole hostage saving thing a non-challenge, but isn't that the best way to play these games?
"You are at the top floor. Vines on the south wall are the only way down."
(http://i.imgur.com/HWPlz32.png)
Well, it seems like we've bypassed a lot of things until I realize there is no conventional way out of here.
Thankfully Yoink came fully stocked for such an occasion.
(http://i.imgur.com/T88gztd.png)
The poor guard must be in shock from having witnessed a horde of deformed techno-vikings leaping through a window after taping a grenade to it.
"A fat guy locks the door and looks cautiously at you."
"He shrugs and unlocks the door." "Shrugs" sure, we'll go with apathy as his reasoning.
"The outlaw grunts as he leaves. "You look like you know what is what. Not my problem." At least he is more sensible than the rest of his extended crime family.
(http://i.imgur.com/uDmubfI.png)
With my limited knowledge of hostage taking, those look like the ideal of hostage storage. I imagine we should probably get them out of there before we start carving up enough bodies to make a cabin.
We are able to picklock open the first steel door with a picklock of 1, high-tech.
(http://i.imgur.com/aVvVVIJ.png)
Seems like this was a waste of... "A man leaps out of bed."
"Before you can react, he runs out of the cell." Huh, guess he left his oven on or something.
Onto the next cell.
(http://i.imgur.com/eBvNM6H.png)
"Graffiti on the wall here says "Darwin = Proteus." "Graffiti on the wall here says "Write down Darwin = Proteus, player!"
(http://i.imgur.com/zOSTHjD.png)
"Watch out! This guy is nuts."
(http://i.imgur.com/in5cNPv.png)
What an ungrateful peasant. Off with his head! That's all for this room, I guess this is a mental asylum. Probably shouldn't be releasing these people, but it's not like Quartz can become even more of a shithole.
(http://i.imgur.com/c6OLuhr.png)
Another room, another man with jazzhands.
(http://i.imgur.com/12OwK54.png)
"Hi. I'm Mayor Pedros. Please rescue me."
Sure, why not. How can we refuse a man with that glorious of a jacket?
"Thank you for rescuing me."
(http://i.imgur.com/pPVjh5P.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/oyJJ0NE.png)
tallllllllleeeeeennnnnttttt
While leaving to explore the western part of this floor "Our recruit says, "I bet we could break the glass and climb down the plants." Hints I need not! I'm doing it live! Also, "A sign hands from the ceiling by rusty chains. Quartz City Jail."
(http://i.imgur.com/7mOe8zo.png)
This room seems to have no purpose as I've used perception on every tile in here. Can't all be winners it appears.
"A faded wall poster says, "Do yourself a favor and stay clean!" Gonna be hard to stay clean with all the Knifer guts we had to spill striding up here.
(http://i.imgur.com/cN8XwQK.png)
Considering that the door to the right leads to a stairwell, we open the left door.
(http://i.imgur.com/TlYZdKg.png)
While exploring this seemingly empty room, Gaping Gunmen attack!
(http://i.imgur.com/ttPwpve.png)
It starts pretty well for the Oblivious Outlaws, so well that they even manage to gun down a surprised Jackie and almost blast off Yoink's precious skull. But the situation quickly flips for our dear Out-of-depth Outcasts once their own guns become makeshift bludgeons in the paws of the post-apocalyptic traffic cops. Maybe they should've called in sick.
Having explored the top floor, let's begin working our way down.
Bumbling down the stairs like the Pompous Pillagers we are, we discover that maybe someone has heard of our antics as we soon are confronted with...
(http://i.imgur.com/FptYIFc.png)
"Hey, Stinger, we got intruders!"
(http://i.imgur.com/in5cNPv.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ttPwpve.png)
Despite hearing about our antics, these guys are unfazed, a situation good for them and us.
Barely having pulled out their knives, the Unready Uglites are given quite the good facial, even if it was a bit rough.
Yoink gets a quality facial as well when he slams into the floor, covered in bullet holes. Causing Rob and A Thing to have to teach the gunmen the basics of etiquette at ax-point, resulting in a absolutely enriching success story that will certainly inspire future generations.
The Gracious Gunmen kindly give Jackie all of their implements of terror and money before leaving for the eternal dunes on a mission of joy and understanding.
(http://i.imgur.com/8T7OLcO.png)
Hope none of you were bad drivers in a past life.
(http://i.imgur.com/M2MOS4S.png)
Great Rangers, take your throne for there are drawers here.
The mystical things known as JARS and SNAKE SQUEEZINS are contained inside, they are in better hands now.
As for the sunglasses on a napkin...
"You study the torn piece of paper in your hand. Originally written in red ink, (That's no ink!) the text has turned into large fuzzy blotches of pink. Though mostly unread- able, (sic) you make out the word MUERTE followed by HIDEOUT:THANATOS, but THANATOS has been scratched out and KAPUT has been written under it."
With that significant piece of information out of the way, away, to the east!
(http://i.imgur.com/CK7Z5uk.png)
"You see a couple of thugs in the hall staring at you."
"One scratches his dirty chin and decides that discretion is the better part of valor. "Well don't stop, keep moving." RPG mooks realizing their situation for once? What is this heresy?
(http://i.imgur.com/RLR2zuz.png)
This room to the north is pretty barren besides one thing...
(http://i.imgur.com/eJUqwaU.png)
"With an Errol Flynn leap, you jump onto the table." Unfortunately, there is nothing interesting on the table. At least we had some fun.
Some passing gunmen see us flipping and feel so inadequate that they immediately attack.
The obvious reaction to this transgression is to do a group elbow drop, sadly Jackie doesn't get the memo and falls flat on her face instead. Neither do the Pistol-packing Pinheads, should've listened to Reasonable Randy over there.
(http://i.imgur.com/VWMJKT5.png)
A couple of Ponderous Pups prance towards us, and soon they prance no more.
(http://i.imgur.com/Vos1F4T.png)
Gimme the money?
(http://i.imgur.com/nLGLY4l.png)
"You interrupt a very serious game of poker."
I think we all know where these poker players are going... scenic Jamaica!
They are so excited that they accidentally unload into A Thing and Jackie, Yoink and Mayor Pedros calm them down with stories of a country they've never seen.
They decide that Yoink and Pedros deserve all of their lifesavings and give it to them before teleporting to Jamaica.
Now that we've shut down the illegal gambling circuit in this courthouse, to the north we go!
(http://i.imgur.com/qX7Hewm.png)
"You easily open the door and see a sleeping guard leaning against the wall."
"The guard is asleep. You might overpower him before he can sound the alarm."
"You wrestle with him and knock him out without a sound." I think this uses Silent Move? I would check, but that guide is an ejaculation of information and I'd rather not know everything that happens in this area.
Taking his sole piece of jewelry causes results in...
"You lift up Louie's lifeless wrist (I thought we knocked him out? Did we chop of his head after knocking him out?) to look at his gold ID bracelet. Twisting it over to view the underbelly, you see "27" etched on the dulled surface."
(http://i.imgur.com/htQvaM2.png)
"You hear harsh voices beyond the door, and someone moaning." Looks like it is time to... sally forth!
(http://i.imgur.com/3VBPIMM.png)
"The outlaws are very surprised but they go for their guns." We go for our axes, quite the strong mutual understanding we have.
Huey tells A Thing a lead-lined lullaby, Dewy clubs Brotherman with his pistol, and Gunman Generico sends Mayor Pedros a letter of impeachment. Rob elects to give Huey a metal restraining order, and Yoink mows Dewy down.
Gunman Generico doesn't like Yoink's posturing so he expresses his feelings with the fluent conversationalist known as the revolver. Rob take offense at this and also expresses her feelings clearly, and effectively.
Checking the corpses of Huey and Dewy we get: 1 bulletproof shirt, two jewelry, and paragraphs!
"You can easily see that these men, both with a large strawberry birthmark, are twins."
"You flip the lifeless Hewey (Once this Hewey is renovated he'll be worth 60,000!) onto his back with the toe of your boot. After you rummage through his pockets, you start removing his jewelry, having a particularly hard time working the ID bracelet over his swollen hand. You finally separate it from the dearly departed with a hard jerk that pops the bracelet off. Flipping the bracelet, you read the only etching of "11."
"You unceremoniously rip the bracelet from Dewey's limp wrist. Rubbing it against your chest several times toassert your dominance over the punks remove the blood, you see "16" engraved on it."
(http://i.imgur.com/hT6ZgjJ.png)
While that's nice and mysterious, we should probably talk to the person we saved.
"A tortured and dying man is sitting in the chair. He needs a drink fast."
We apply the canteen to onto his face. "He is recovering. He blinks and opens his eyes. "Thank you," he says."
(http://i.imgur.com/12OwK54.png)
"I am Danny Citrine. The triplets wanted our cash. Dad and I hid it under their noses."
"Let me help you to rescue the mayor. Let me lead you back to the cell and the guards will let us go on by."
We walk away and leave this delirious man to put two and two together on his own, we've got deeper levels to explore and thugs to kill after all.
(http://i.imgur.com/rzlqoog.png)
Hmm... somehow I think our explosive entry was unnecessary, ehhh, it was the proper path of exploration as far as I'm concerned.
(http://i.imgur.com/ttPwpve.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/CTyVqE3.png)
"Hey! What are you doing in here?"
Creating accurate census reports, what else would someone be doing here?
We clamber north while the Pitiful Pistoleros try and fail to assault anything other than the carpet and walls.
"A pug-faced man laughs and lets the hungry mongrels loose to attack."
Rob and Brotherman accuse and convict the Knifers with animal abuse while the rest of the Rangers euthanize the rabid mongrels.
Charging, charging, charging. Charging? Charging.
We fine the Pistoleros for outdated weapon permits, and they respond with lead. Restitution is required for such things, and restitution is given!
(http://i.imgur.com/NbfOwbn.png)
Going east of the atrium we find this. It seems that if we don't come through the front entrance then guards don't ask us for the MUERTE password, bit weird. We can even get the guards to show up, but only if we enter from the front. There are certainly limits to 1988 scripting capabilities.
(http://i.imgur.com/ttPwpve.png)
Walking west of the stairs we are greeted by 4 gunmen, 3 knifers, and 3 marksmen all of whom are just as unimpressive as previous examples. Good bludgeoning, though.
(http://i.imgur.com/2o6Sjc0.png)
Picking open and walking into this room we are ambushed by more dogs. An amazingly interesting combat ensues, I assure you. So interesting that I didn't make a write-up, it couldn't be contained by mere mortal words.
(http://i.imgur.com/UKNPoqL.png)
It appears that we've found the previously mentioned filing room, finally Brotherman will be able to make use of those years of safe cracking classes in community college.
He is so invigorated by the concept that he accidentally crushes the door, goddammit Brotherman. Also, the file cabinets have nothing of interest in them, just so you know before we go onwards and upwards.
To the stair room of level 3, hmm, I think I missed something. Don't panic, it'll take no time.
(http://i.imgur.com/lGxEbe0.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/aFjbgS4.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/OkqjS2q.png)
"You see three outlaws with their backs turned catching a few puffs."
"While they aren't looking you ambush them and knock them out."
The answer to what I needed to do is look it up in a guide. I imagine I missed something that Mayor Pedros said at some point or broke some scripting through my roundabout route. Or, in a very unlikely case, the game expected me to try and explore every single house which would be pretty terrible considering that the houses repeat like friggin' Daggerfall and the outlaw hideout doesn't have a special message.
Regardless, here we are in a alley. What do? Climbing is what do.
With a rope, not with the climbing skill.
(http://i.imgur.com/knOjbWm.png)
"Through the glass skylight (we're on a roof apparently) you can see figures moving in the shadows. It might be possible to break the glass, leap down and surprise them." Brotherman manages to raise his perception to 3 with this, so does A Thing. According to the brief glance I gave the guide, I can use this to grind perception to 3. I don't really see the point, but I'm sure someone does.
We punch the glass and it has no effect, you know what that means, Yoink.
"The glass shatters." As opposed to it not shattering from a military-grade grenade.
(http://i.imgur.com/yB1Qxmv.png)
"You leap through the broken glass to the floor below."
One of the Two Gunmen Pact is crushed, the other runs, not like he has a choice in the matter.
More gunmen show up as the Rangers chase after the former TGP member and they also run. Not for long, but they do try to run.
You remember that bit about carving enough bodies to make a cabin? Well, we can probably make a picket fence and a three story house just out of this room; the amount of pistoleros is more than a bit gratuitous.
(http://i.imgur.com/QPhmjIH.png)
After much blood-surfing we arrive at the entrance to the kennels, or so the game says.
The pistoleros are dismembered and the dogs sent to Grandpa's house. The loot obtained from this endeavor is as follows: Level 2 climbing skill for A Thing, a shovel, and roughly 100 moneybucks.
(http://i.imgur.com/blWXUbQ.png)
Turn down the lights, and put on some mood music because we're entering the lounge. Which is full of, you guessed it, pistoleros!
Our reward besides money is "A bookcase full of Mercenaries, Spies & Private Eyes books." Really? There's gotta be something else. No? That's it? Fantastic.
(http://i.imgur.com/7bS6QDo.png)
We are now at the entrance to the Bunkhouse, which sounds like another room full of...
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
...to me.
Besides the ninja coydogs jumping out of the laundry pile and attacking us, the bunkroom is just pistoleros and locked cabinets that we can't currently open. Away we go, again.
(http://i.imgur.com/oNmRXTY.png)
To the entrance of the officer's club. At least there is a slight chance that this won't be pistolero spam, slight chance.
In the centermost bit of the counter there is a secret door! Amazing, unlike the rest of the officer's club.
(http://i.imgur.com/EbHtA5G.png)
We hear rustling from the left cell, and if that doesn't get your adventure sense tingling then I don't know what will.
After much time spent picklocking, A Thing both opens the door!
(http://i.imgur.com/12OwK54.png)
"I'm Ace. Please get me out of here."
"A man sits up in the cell and stretches his arms. He squints at you as if you're brighter than the desert sun, then allows a small smile to grace his tan, weathered face. "Rangers, I should have known. Listen, I've been sent down from Vegas to recruit folks who know the right end of a gun from the wrong. Bandits ain't the only thing crawling out of the desert, and we've got a war on our hands. Interested in heading back with me?"
We take Ace, for reasons which will be apparent soon.
(http://i.imgur.com/0VYYUUR.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ixJkDIz.png)
Ace is the first real companion we've got, so he's our bestest friend and I'll treasure him always.
Having gone through picklock hell I decide that maybe the cabinets aren't that difficult after all and we get: 1 clay pot, 3 jugs, and 5 fruits. The second cabinet grants us the following: 2 clay pots, 2 jugs, and 2 fruits. This bunkroom has more pot and jugs than Woodstock.
Our two options in terms of navigation are either going north to the entrance or going south and killing Ugly, not much of a choice really.
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
"Back off or I'll shoot."
A Thing chokeslams the guard and the party continues on their journey.
"The door says, "I'm Ugly and you're not." Thanks? That isn't going to save you from being picklocked.
(http://i.imgur.com/L8ZwsdC.png)
"There is a map of Quartz on the wall." Wait, wait, wait, this room actually has content in it? And it doesn't have pistoleros? I think we've found paradise.
"The wall map is covered with scribbled remarks that are virtually un- readable. A star over one building in the southeastern section of town has the legend "Bar - trouble spot" scrawled over it. A skull decorates another build- ing in the central-eastern part of the town. The word HIDEOUT covers it. An arrow leading from the word draws attention to another building diagonally to the southwest , though it has the word SEKRET painstakingly written beside it."
"You notice something odd about the map and move it."
"There is a safe here. Try to O)pen it or enter combination ("XX-XX-XX"). Time for some trial and error, I'll be back.
"You turn the tumbler and it clicks open."
11-27-16 it be.
What it also be is a Kevlar Vest, 1 grenade, 1 Sabot rocket, 1 M19 rifle, 8 7.62mm clips, and 320 in moneybucks. I would say that is a sufficient reward, wouldn't you? Makes you wonder what Ugly is using if all this is locked up.
(http://i.imgur.com/hkiNhdP.png)
"A voice from inside the room says, "What took you so long?" You see Felecia Pedros wired up in a chair with a bomb in her lap. Ugly John stands near with an Uzi (That is... an interesting choice of weapon considering your options, Ugly.) in one hand and a deadman-switch in the other."
"Hold it. I wouldn't come any closer if I were you." "In 64 minutes the entirety of Manhattan will explode if you don't give me the launch codes!"
"The mayor turns to you, anguish washing across his face, and says, "We must save my wife!"
"Ugly says, "Let me walk out of here alive and I'll give you the code that will let you disarm the bomb. You don't look like you could do it without it." 2 bomb disarm on Yoink says otherwise.
"Is it a deal?"
No. We've already taken all his valuables, might as well take his meager existence too.
"OK. Have it your way."
"I'm going to blow you to bits." I'm real scared.
(http://i.imgur.com/j2Mg1cU.png)
Hmm, it appears he's also a mutant. Add that onto the list of reasons to put him down.
Party advances, Ugly calls his elite guards.
Party sallies forth, Brotherman misses and hits a purple vase instead of Ugly.
A Thing, and Yoink beat Ugly to the floor giving Mayor Pedros the chance to smash his skull into the tiled floor. Somehow the guards don't run after seeing Ugly's malformed head burst, and instead decide to get a better position for possible revenge.
Brotherman destroys one of the guards with his newfound rifle, Rob does the normal cleave, and Yoink decapitates.
That leaves Felecia to be saved, so save her Yoink, do it for the good of the city!
"You stopped the yellow light."
"The red light is still flashing." I said do it, not try to do it!
"You successfully disarm the bomb. Felecia is very grateful." Woo, free plastic explosive for more glass breakage.
"Felecia smiles as you cut her bonds. She nearly falls as she makes her first attempt to stand up. "Don't worry about me," she says, "Ace is being kept in the cells." I see nothing wrong here.
Beside here is a vault and we just got some plastic explosives, well...
(http://i.imgur.com/HNXPJFz.png)
912 dollars, and some 9mm. Probably not worth the plastic explosive, but we were given the opportunity so I had to take it.
When we leave the Hideout Ace says "Let's get the hell outta here!" and I can't agree more. Time to sell junk and get rid of useless party members. I know Mayor Pedros proved himself when he killed Ugly and all, but he is still a experience sponge deep down in his heart. Same with Jackie.
Also, remember all that money we had? 4000 or so? Well Jackie and Mayor Pedros just ate it since either I accidentally clicked pool money on them, or the game did it automatically. Either way we now only have 631 and that's after selling the manglers. Oh well, somehow I doubt money is a big deal in a game with infinite encounters.
Oh boy, and adding on top of all that, the Quartz Emporium just glitched out of existence. Why does this new version have autosaves in shops if the instant you leave them they'll bug out? If it can't be fixed then it probably should be removed. Still my fault for forgetting, but that doesn't reduce the annoyance.
Let's radio in about Quartz being a bunch of ungrateful bastards.
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/FYZje70.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/zNmSSkV.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/l10FX4w.png)
What a wonderful end to the update.
I think this image gives more than enough information.
"The bum beams." "Thank ye kindly! Over there is a trap door."
"Behind a shattered table is a trap door."
Going down we see...
(http://i.imgur.com/PvQg4te.png)
...some science sorcery.
Pretty unclear as to what this place is, or how the Moronic Manglers actually maintain it. Who needs a fully functional garden in a courthouse anyway? Guess the mayor was a doomsday prepper.
"This is not a good place to climb the wall because the ceiling slopes in overhead." The only reasoning I can think of is that the trapdoor led us to a tunnel which opened up into this garden. If not, then somehow Ugly's gang has acquired a underground garden.
Thankfully this bit answers all of that pretty easily: "With luck and ability you might be able to climb the walls."
"The atrium walls are mostly glass and are three stories high."
"A hidden tunnel disappears under some rocks."
We then go up and at the mention of "vines that climb up" I decide to use our climb skill and we...
...go up.
(http://i.imgur.com/gkomB5I.png)
"You see meeting rooms through the glass. You can climb up but not down. Vines on the south wall indicate a way down."
I feel as if I've unintentionally made this whole hostage saving thing a non-challenge, but isn't that the best way to play these games?
"You are at the top floor. Vines on the south wall are the only way down."
(http://i.imgur.com/HWPlz32.png)
Well, it seems like we've bypassed a lot of things until I realize there is no conventional way out of here.
Thankfully Yoink came fully stocked for such an occasion.
(http://i.imgur.com/T88gztd.png)
The poor guard must be in shock from having witnessed a horde of deformed techno-vikings leaping through a window after taping a grenade to it.
"A fat guy locks the door and looks cautiously at you."
"He shrugs and unlocks the door." "Shrugs" sure, we'll go with apathy as his reasoning.
"The outlaw grunts as he leaves. "You look like you know what is what. Not my problem." At least he is more sensible than the rest of his extended crime family.
(http://i.imgur.com/uDmubfI.png)
With my limited knowledge of hostage taking, those look like the ideal of hostage storage. I imagine we should probably get them out of there before we start carving up enough bodies to make a cabin.
We are able to picklock open the first steel door with a picklock of 1, high-tech.
(http://i.imgur.com/aVvVVIJ.png)
Seems like this was a waste of... "A man leaps out of bed."
"Before you can react, he runs out of the cell." Huh, guess he left his oven on or something.
Onto the next cell.
(http://i.imgur.com/eBvNM6H.png)
"Graffiti on the wall here says "Darwin = Proteus." "Graffiti on the wall here says "Write down Darwin = Proteus, player!"
(http://i.imgur.com/zOSTHjD.png)
"Watch out! This guy is nuts."
(http://i.imgur.com/in5cNPv.png)
What an ungrateful peasant. Off with his head! That's all for this room, I guess this is a mental asylum. Probably shouldn't be releasing these people, but it's not like Quartz can become even more of a shithole.
(http://i.imgur.com/c6OLuhr.png)
Another room, another man with jazzhands.
(http://i.imgur.com/12OwK54.png)
"Hi. I'm Mayor Pedros. Please rescue me."
Sure, why not. How can we refuse a man with that glorious of a jacket?
"Thank you for rescuing me."
(http://i.imgur.com/pPVjh5P.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/oyJJ0NE.png)
tallllllllleeeeeennnnnttttt
While leaving to explore the western part of this floor "Our recruit says, "I bet we could break the glass and climb down the plants." Hints I need not! I'm doing it live! Also, "A sign hands from the ceiling by rusty chains. Quartz City Jail."
(http://i.imgur.com/7mOe8zo.png)
This room seems to have no purpose as I've used perception on every tile in here. Can't all be winners it appears.
"A faded wall poster says, "Do yourself a favor and stay clean!" Gonna be hard to stay clean with all the Knifer guts we had to spill striding up here.
(http://i.imgur.com/cN8XwQK.png)
Considering that the door to the right leads to a stairwell, we open the left door.
(http://i.imgur.com/TlYZdKg.png)
While exploring this seemingly empty room, Gaping Gunmen attack!
(http://i.imgur.com/ttPwpve.png)
It starts pretty well for the Oblivious Outlaws, so well that they even manage to gun down a surprised Jackie and almost blast off Yoink's precious skull. But the situation quickly flips for our dear Out-of-depth Outcasts once their own guns become makeshift bludgeons in the paws of the post-apocalyptic traffic cops. Maybe they should've called in sick.
Having explored the top floor, let's begin working our way down.
Bumbling down the stairs like the Pompous Pillagers we are, we discover that maybe someone has heard of our antics as we soon are confronted with...
(http://i.imgur.com/FptYIFc.png)
"Hey, Stinger, we got intruders!"
(http://i.imgur.com/in5cNPv.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ttPwpve.png)
Despite hearing about our antics, these guys are unfazed, a situation good for them and us.
Barely having pulled out their knives, the Unready Uglites are given quite the good facial, even if it was a bit rough.
Yoink gets a quality facial as well when he slams into the floor, covered in bullet holes. Causing Rob and A Thing to have to teach the gunmen the basics of etiquette at ax-point, resulting in a absolutely enriching success story that will certainly inspire future generations.
The Gracious Gunmen kindly give Jackie all of their implements of terror and money before leaving for the eternal dunes on a mission of joy and understanding.
(http://i.imgur.com/8T7OLcO.png)
Hope none of you were bad drivers in a past life.
(http://i.imgur.com/M2MOS4S.png)
Great Rangers, take your throne for there are drawers here.
The mystical things known as JARS and SNAKE SQUEEZINS are contained inside, they are in better hands now.
As for the sunglasses on a napkin...
"You study the torn piece of paper in your hand. Originally written in red ink, (That's no ink!) the text has turned into large fuzzy blotches of pink. Though mostly unread- able, (sic) you make out the word MUERTE followed by HIDEOUT:THANATOS, but THANATOS has been scratched out and KAPUT has been written under it."
With that significant piece of information out of the way, away, to the east!
(http://i.imgur.com/CK7Z5uk.png)
"You see a couple of thugs in the hall staring at you."
"One scratches his dirty chin and decides that discretion is the better part of valor. "Well don't stop, keep moving." RPG mooks realizing their situation for once? What is this heresy?
(http://i.imgur.com/RLR2zuz.png)
This room to the north is pretty barren besides one thing...
(http://i.imgur.com/eJUqwaU.png)
"With an Errol Flynn leap, you jump onto the table." Unfortunately, there is nothing interesting on the table. At least we had some fun.
Some passing gunmen see us flipping and feel so inadequate that they immediately attack.
The obvious reaction to this transgression is to do a group elbow drop, sadly Jackie doesn't get the memo and falls flat on her face instead. Neither do the Pistol-packing Pinheads, should've listened to Reasonable Randy over there.
(http://i.imgur.com/VWMJKT5.png)
A couple of Ponderous Pups prance towards us, and soon they prance no more.
(http://i.imgur.com/Vos1F4T.png)
Gimme the money?
(http://i.imgur.com/nLGLY4l.png)
"You interrupt a very serious game of poker."
I think we all know where these poker players are going... scenic Jamaica!
They are so excited that they accidentally unload into A Thing and Jackie, Yoink and Mayor Pedros calm them down with stories of a country they've never seen.
They decide that Yoink and Pedros deserve all of their lifesavings and give it to them before teleporting to Jamaica.
Now that we've shut down the illegal gambling circuit in this courthouse, to the north we go!
(http://i.imgur.com/qX7Hewm.png)
"You easily open the door and see a sleeping guard leaning against the wall."
"The guard is asleep. You might overpower him before he can sound the alarm."
"You wrestle with him and knock him out without a sound." I think this uses Silent Move? I would check, but that guide is an ejaculation of information and I'd rather not know everything that happens in this area.
Taking his sole piece of jewelry causes results in...
"You lift up Louie's lifeless wrist (I thought we knocked him out? Did we chop of his head after knocking him out?) to look at his gold ID bracelet. Twisting it over to view the underbelly, you see "27" etched on the dulled surface."
(http://i.imgur.com/htQvaM2.png)
"You hear harsh voices beyond the door, and someone moaning." Looks like it is time to... sally forth!
(http://i.imgur.com/3VBPIMM.png)
"The outlaws are very surprised but they go for their guns." We go for our axes, quite the strong mutual understanding we have.
Huey tells A Thing a lead-lined lullaby, Dewy clubs Brotherman with his pistol, and Gunman Generico sends Mayor Pedros a letter of impeachment. Rob elects to give Huey a metal restraining order, and Yoink mows Dewy down.
Gunman Generico doesn't like Yoink's posturing so he expresses his feelings with the fluent conversationalist known as the revolver. Rob take offense at this and also expresses her feelings clearly, and effectively.
Checking the corpses of Huey and Dewy we get: 1 bulletproof shirt, two jewelry, and paragraphs!
"You can easily see that these men, both with a large strawberry birthmark, are twins."
"You flip the lifeless Hewey (Once this Hewey is renovated he'll be worth 60,000!) onto his back with the toe of your boot. After you rummage through his pockets, you start removing his jewelry, having a particularly hard time working the ID bracelet over his swollen hand. You finally separate it from the dearly departed with a hard jerk that pops the bracelet off. Flipping the bracelet, you read the only etching of "11."
"You unceremoniously rip the bracelet from Dewey's limp wrist. Rubbing it against your chest several times to
(http://i.imgur.com/hT6ZgjJ.png)
While that's nice and mysterious, we should probably talk to the person we saved.
"A tortured and dying man is sitting in the chair. He needs a drink fast."
We apply the canteen to onto his face. "He is recovering. He blinks and opens his eyes. "Thank you," he says."
(http://i.imgur.com/12OwK54.png)
"I am Danny Citrine. The triplets wanted our cash. Dad and I hid it under their noses."
"Let me help you to rescue the mayor. Let me lead you back to the cell and the guards will let us go on by."
We walk away and leave this delirious man to put two and two together on his own, we've got deeper levels to explore and thugs to kill after all.
(http://i.imgur.com/rzlqoog.png)
Hmm... somehow I think our explosive entry was unnecessary, ehhh, it was the proper path of exploration as far as I'm concerned.
(http://i.imgur.com/ttPwpve.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/CTyVqE3.png)
"Hey! What are you doing in here?"
Creating accurate census reports, what else would someone be doing here?
We clamber north while the Pitiful Pistoleros try and fail to assault anything other than the carpet and walls.
"A pug-faced man laughs and lets the hungry mongrels loose to attack."
Rob and Brotherman accuse and convict the Knifers with animal abuse while the rest of the Rangers euthanize the rabid mongrels.
Charging, charging, charging. Charging? Charging.
We fine the Pistoleros for outdated weapon permits, and they respond with lead. Restitution is required for such things, and restitution is given!
(http://i.imgur.com/NbfOwbn.png)
Going east of the atrium we find this. It seems that if we don't come through the front entrance then guards don't ask us for the MUERTE password, bit weird. We can even get the guards to show up, but only if we enter from the front. There are certainly limits to 1988 scripting capabilities.
(http://i.imgur.com/ttPwpve.png)
Walking west of the stairs we are greeted by 4 gunmen, 3 knifers, and 3 marksmen all of whom are just as unimpressive as previous examples. Good bludgeoning, though.
(http://i.imgur.com/2o6Sjc0.png)
Picking open and walking into this room we are ambushed by more dogs. An amazingly interesting combat ensues, I assure you. So interesting that I didn't make a write-up, it couldn't be contained by mere mortal words.
(http://i.imgur.com/UKNPoqL.png)
It appears that we've found the previously mentioned filing room, finally Brotherman will be able to make use of those years of safe cracking classes in community college.
He is so invigorated by the concept that he accidentally crushes the door, goddammit Brotherman. Also, the file cabinets have nothing of interest in them, just so you know before we go onwards and upwards.
To the stair room of level 3, hmm, I think I missed something. Don't panic, it'll take no time.
(http://i.imgur.com/lGxEbe0.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/aFjbgS4.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/OkqjS2q.png)
"You see three outlaws with their backs turned catching a few puffs."
"While they aren't looking you ambush them and knock them out."
The answer to what I needed to do is look it up in a guide. I imagine I missed something that Mayor Pedros said at some point or broke some scripting through my roundabout route. Or, in a very unlikely case, the game expected me to try and explore every single house which would be pretty terrible considering that the houses repeat like friggin' Daggerfall and the outlaw hideout doesn't have a special message.
Regardless, here we are in a alley. What do? Climbing is what do.
With a rope, not with the climbing skill.
(http://i.imgur.com/knOjbWm.png)
"Through the glass skylight (we're on a roof apparently) you can see figures moving in the shadows. It might be possible to break the glass, leap down and surprise them." Brotherman manages to raise his perception to 3 with this, so does A Thing. According to the brief glance I gave the guide, I can use this to grind perception to 3. I don't really see the point, but I'm sure someone does.
We punch the glass and it has no effect, you know what that means, Yoink.
"The glass shatters." As opposed to it not shattering from a military-grade grenade.
(http://i.imgur.com/yB1Qxmv.png)
"You leap through the broken glass to the floor below."
One of the Two Gunmen Pact is crushed, the other runs, not like he has a choice in the matter.
More gunmen show up as the Rangers chase after the former TGP member and they also run. Not for long, but they do try to run.
You remember that bit about carving enough bodies to make a cabin? Well, we can probably make a picket fence and a three story house just out of this room; the amount of pistoleros is more than a bit gratuitous.
(http://i.imgur.com/QPhmjIH.png)
After much blood-surfing we arrive at the entrance to the kennels, or so the game says.
The pistoleros are dismembered and the dogs sent to Grandpa's house. The loot obtained from this endeavor is as follows: Level 2 climbing skill for A Thing, a shovel, and roughly 100 moneybucks.
(http://i.imgur.com/blWXUbQ.png)
Turn down the lights, and put on some mood music because we're entering the lounge. Which is full of, you guessed it, pistoleros!
Our reward besides money is "A bookcase full of Mercenaries, Spies & Private Eyes books." Really? There's gotta be something else. No? That's it? Fantastic.
(http://i.imgur.com/7bS6QDo.png)
We are now at the entrance to the Bunkhouse, which sounds like another room full of...
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
...to me.
Besides the ninja coydogs jumping out of the laundry pile and attacking us, the bunkroom is just pistoleros and locked cabinets that we can't currently open. Away we go, again.
(http://i.imgur.com/oNmRXTY.png)
To the entrance of the officer's club. At least there is a slight chance that this won't be pistolero spam, slight chance.
In the centermost bit of the counter there is a secret door! Amazing, unlike the rest of the officer's club.
(http://i.imgur.com/EbHtA5G.png)
We hear rustling from the left cell, and if that doesn't get your adventure sense tingling then I don't know what will.
After much time spent picklocking, A Thing both opens the door!
(http://i.imgur.com/12OwK54.png)
"I'm Ace. Please get me out of here."
"A man sits up in the cell and stretches his arms. He squints at you as if you're brighter than the desert sun, then allows a small smile to grace his tan, weathered face. "Rangers, I should have known. Listen, I've been sent down from Vegas to recruit folks who know the right end of a gun from the wrong. Bandits ain't the only thing crawling out of the desert, and we've got a war on our hands. Interested in heading back with me?"
We take Ace, for reasons which will be apparent soon.
(http://i.imgur.com/0VYYUUR.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ixJkDIz.png)
Ace is the first real companion we've got, so he's our bestest friend and I'll treasure him always.
Having gone through picklock hell I decide that maybe the cabinets aren't that difficult after all and we get: 1 clay pot, 3 jugs, and 5 fruits. The second cabinet grants us the following: 2 clay pots, 2 jugs, and 2 fruits. This bunkroom has more pot and jugs than Woodstock.
Our two options in terms of navigation are either going north to the entrance or going south and killing Ugly, not much of a choice really.
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
"Back off or I'll shoot."
A Thing chokeslams the guard and the party continues on their journey.
"The door says, "I'm Ugly and you're not." Thanks? That isn't going to save you from being picklocked.
(http://i.imgur.com/L8ZwsdC.png)
"There is a map of Quartz on the wall." Wait, wait, wait, this room actually has content in it? And it doesn't have pistoleros? I think we've found paradise.
"The wall map is covered with scribbled remarks that are virtually un- readable. A star over one building in the southeastern section of town has the legend "Bar - trouble spot" scrawled over it. A skull decorates another build- ing in the central-eastern part of the town. The word HIDEOUT covers it. An arrow leading from the word draws attention to another building diagonally to the southwest , though it has the word SEKRET painstakingly written beside it."
"You notice something odd about the map and move it."
"There is a safe here. Try to O)pen it or enter combination ("XX-XX-XX"). Time for some trial and error, I'll be back.
"You turn the tumbler and it clicks open."
11-27-16 it be.
What it also be is a Kevlar Vest, 1 grenade, 1 Sabot rocket, 1 M19 rifle, 8 7.62mm clips, and 320 in moneybucks. I would say that is a sufficient reward, wouldn't you? Makes you wonder what Ugly is using if all this is locked up.
(http://i.imgur.com/hkiNhdP.png)
"A voice from inside the room says, "What took you so long?" You see Felecia Pedros wired up in a chair with a bomb in her lap. Ugly John stands near with an Uzi (That is... an interesting choice of weapon considering your options, Ugly.) in one hand and a deadman-switch in the other."
"Hold it. I wouldn't come any closer if I were you." "In 64 minutes the entirety of Manhattan will explode if you don't give me the launch codes!"
"The mayor turns to you, anguish washing across his face, and says, "We must save my wife!"
"Ugly says, "Let me walk out of here alive and I'll give you the code that will let you disarm the bomb. You don't look like you could do it without it." 2 bomb disarm on Yoink says otherwise.
"Is it a deal?"
No. We've already taken all his valuables, might as well take his meager existence too.
"OK. Have it your way."
"I'm going to blow you to bits." I'm real scared.
(http://i.imgur.com/j2Mg1cU.png)
Hmm, it appears he's also a mutant. Add that onto the list of reasons to put him down.
Party advances, Ugly calls his elite guards.
Party sallies forth, Brotherman misses and hits a purple vase instead of Ugly.
A Thing, and Yoink beat Ugly to the floor giving Mayor Pedros the chance to smash his skull into the tiled floor. Somehow the guards don't run after seeing Ugly's malformed head burst, and instead decide to get a better position for possible revenge.
Brotherman destroys one of the guards with his newfound rifle, Rob does the normal cleave, and Yoink decapitates.
That leaves Felecia to be saved, so save her Yoink, do it for the good of the city!
"You stopped the yellow light."
"The red light is still flashing." I said do it, not try to do it!
"You successfully disarm the bomb. Felecia is very grateful." Woo, free plastic explosive for more glass breakage.
"Felecia smiles as you cut her bonds. She nearly falls as she makes her first attempt to stand up. "Don't worry about me," she says, "Ace is being kept in the cells." I see nothing wrong here.
Beside here is a vault and we just got some plastic explosives, well...
(http://i.imgur.com/HNXPJFz.png)
912 dollars, and some 9mm. Probably not worth the plastic explosive, but we were given the opportunity so I had to take it.
When we leave the Hideout Ace says "Let's get the hell outta here!" and I can't agree more. Time to sell junk and get rid of useless party members. I know Mayor Pedros proved himself when he killed Ugly and all, but he is still a experience sponge deep down in his heart. Same with Jackie.
Also, remember all that money we had? 4000 or so? Well Jackie and Mayor Pedros just ate it since either I accidentally clicked pool money on them, or the game did it automatically. Either way we now only have 631 and that's after selling the manglers. Oh well, somehow I doubt money is a big deal in a game with infinite encounters.
Oh boy, and adding on top of all that, the Quartz Emporium just glitched out of existence. Why does this new version have autosaves in shops if the instant you leave them they'll bug out? If it can't be fixed then it probably should be removed. Still my fault for forgetting, but that doesn't reduce the annoyance.
Let's radio in about Quartz being a bunch of ungrateful bastards.
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/FYZje70.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/zNmSSkV.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/l10FX4w.png)
What a wonderful end to the update.
I had a Saturday.
Edit: I just looked, and I appear to be the first person on this forum to even try a Wasteland LP. Bit strange considering that whenever you buy Wasteland 2 you get Wasteland 1 as well, and I thought the idea of "Hey, I got Wasteland 1 for free, never played it, might as well LP it!" would've been a common one. Does kinda make me wonder how many LPs I can do before I hit a game that people have even tried on this forum (probably a lot.)
Post by: A Thing on June 08, 2016, 07:37:15 pm
Spoiler: They killed all of them, even the children! (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/4ar1h6R.png)
I went and tried to find Ellen or at the very least her daughter but both of them seem to be gone for good, so we have to get our reward from Quartz another way.
"The cemetery gates are chained shut and locked." As opposed to being chained shut and unlocked.
"The padlock opens. You unchain the gates and enter."
"Spirits pop out from a grave."
(http://i.imgur.com/Ocy2Vvq.png)
Several spirits might have popped out of the grave, but only one ghoul appears to care enough to shamble towards us.
While we don't have fire, our fire-axes seem to also be the bane of the undead. Our reward for this gracious endeavor? 280 cash and a broken toaster, don't let anyone tell you that graverobbing never pays.
This being a western RPG of some description, the graves can be read and say things such as: ""R.I.P. Mediocre Phred." "In memory of Richard Pickman." "Reserved for Finster." Also, a group of cutthroats show up and get half off on recently unoccupied graves, good for them. "Grave of the Unknown Mutant."
"Ken St. Andre, 4/28/47--4/28/87" He died on his birthday? Must have had diabetes. "Lester More, shot by a .44. No Les, no more."
No Quartz, no more. Good thing too, I'd probably need a grave otherwise.
(http://i.imgur.com/J0L6e41.png)
I decide to stop by here on our way back to the Nomads because, why not?
(http://i.imgur.com/WhvrVQI.png)
"The old shack is made of weather beaten adobe, the door of rotting wood and rusting iron. Of course it is locked." The underground love shack, for when the surface grows dull. If you buy now it comes with a fully stocked Schlitz cooler!
"The dirt floor is covered with dry desert weeds. It looks like someone... or something has been sleeping here." I would be more concerned if people weren't sleeping in the love shack.
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
"Rangers, kill the scum!"
A couple ineffective shots at Brotherman and Rob with a dash of riposte later and the scavs have returned to being eco-friendly flooring. All they have on their corpses are items we either start out with or can buy easily.
Eco-friendly carpet supplements it seems, a bit too big though. Good thing we have the axes.
(http://i.imgur.com/2whA6BT.png)
It appears that snakes have mutated their legs back into existence, let's fix that.
(http://i.imgur.com/Ns2VLII.png)
"There is a coil of rope here." I don't think that's a rope, game. Believe what you want to though not like I can stop you.
20 cash and a rope go straight into Brotherman's pockets of holding.
Alright, let's get to the main attraction already.
(http://i.imgur.com/r3IHaHu.png)
"Something unusual is inside..." So it's that type of box? I guess it makes sense, this being the love shack and all.
Its actual contents are not male genitalia, but 4 gas masks and a rope. Everyone gets a mask besides Ace who doesn't have PC privilege.
(http://i.imgur.com/4gk3Hwa.png)
Strolling north we find a Rubble Lizard and chop it up for later, and are soon justified doing so as we find: "The half-eaten remains of what might have been a human. Gear is scattered all around the area." and
(http://i.imgur.com/sw2LQJ0.png)
10 Drools. A veritable holy war is needed to cleanse this place it seems.
Perhaps not, the Drools fail to scratch any of the rangers and fall quickly. For shame, but what can be expected from something more animal than man?
(http://i.imgur.com/6Jzdh1s.png)
While looting various knickknacks off of the Drools a legion of little people approaches from parts unknown!
A legion just as unimpressive as the last one. They even had grenades and throwing knives on them! What disappointments. Maybe one day the mutants will provide champions of value. Until then we'll just have to carve a bloody path the easy way.
"Your footsteps echo strangely through the vaulted darkness of this mine." Doesn't sound like a big deal to me, probably just dehydration. Just after this we find a drool with TNT, and the little people he stole it from. The Desert Rangers don't have a Lost & Found at the moment so instead they take the less convoluted path of petitioning to Hades.
(http://i.imgur.com/S6DoQ3y.png)
It took a fully stocked battalion ofscaled experience point lizards, Ace almost getting eaten, a rock trap, and Brotherman raising his medic skill but I eventually realized that we were supposed to use perception on the miner corpses. Starting with Lizard Lunch over here: 1 throwing knife, 1 bullet proof shirt, and 6 cash.
The miners posthumously reward us with: 1 ax, 1 bag of TNT, 1 .45 clip, 1 rope, 1 knife, and 1 canteen for assassinating the dragon-blooded commanders, purging the Tunnel Lizard foe, and driving the Slithering Lizard army back into the depths.
(http://i.imgur.com/E4tQnb9.png)
With the scaled fiends eliminated, we finally find something of note in this blasphemous mine. "There is a lot of rubble on the floor as if someone has been chipping at the walls recently. The rocks look strange." Hmm, sounds like a job for Yoink. The game says no, however, so we don't. Looks like it's time to return to the Rail Nomads then.
But before we get there...
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/It7JNDj.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Yt8DW9A.png)
Dragonslaying, it seems, gives you a very high chance of promotion. Maybe instead of trying to get into our bosses' pants we should spend our time trying to put ourselves into the hearts of dragons. Sage advice, I know.
(http://i.imgur.com/60Md3zk.png)
For some reason paragraph 2 pops up again when we enter the Rail Nomad camp, but that doesn't really matter since we've got the code!
"The guard stops you at the entrance to the tent and requests that you stat your business.
CATERPILLAR is my business! I'm going to go into metamorphosis right here, right now!
"The guard looks at you quizzically, scratches his head, then disappears into the tent. An excited discussion ensues. The guard emerges again looking somewhat enlightened." Onto the next tent then.
"The guard looks at you sharply, then indicates you should enter the tent." Of course the only non-blurry sprited guard is the real one.
(http://i.imgur.com/qwtHk4C.png)
"You find yourself in a splendidly furnished tent. Men, women, children, and elders alike smile and greet you. From behind you hear the guard say, "Welcome to the Topeka Clan ... FOOLS!" At this the entire clan brandishes hidden weapons and attacks en-masse!"
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/jNm4KTs.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/6Jzdh1s.png)
"I am a Topekan," say the elders. "I am a Topekan", say the men. "I am a Topekan", say the women, and the children whisper something about "a feast tonight." Our response is a bit metallic and not nearly as endearing, but what can you do?
With the Topekan men blocking the exit and the women and children encircling them, can you really blame the Rangers for the bloodbath that this ends in? The Topekans surely can't.
Having splattered the men of Topeka all over the walls, A Thing, Yoink, and Rob begin cutting their way through the women in a attempt to send the children fleeing.
With the rhythm of the elder's drums empowering them, the Topekan Tods march towards the Rangers with a pistol-packing baby held high; a miniature siege tower wailing garbled obscenities.
Since the Youths desire no-quarter, they get none.
The elders try to make use of their many decades of experience, but sadly for them experience doesn't stop axes.
Neither does age stay punishment for attempted murder, as the Pistol-packing Pup soon learns.
So ends Clan Topeka, and so begins the corpserobbing. Some Rail-Raiders try to get in on the previously mentioned pillaging and get pillaged in return.
Onto the actual Atchison tent then.
(http://i.imgur.com/9R8BN9a.png)
CATERPILLAR!
"The guard looks you over closely and then tells you to wait outside as he disappears into the tent. You hear a brief muffled conversation and the guard returns with another man. The newcomer introduces himself as the headman of the Atchison clan. He understands that you have done a great favor for his brother. He dismisses the guard and motions you closer. He explains that they keep no treasure here, but he will give you directions to a secret cache. "Here, take this shovel," he instructs you. "Stand on the south rail, west end. Take twelve paces to the south. Dig and you shall be rewarded." The guard returns and the headman bids you good day."
(http://i.imgur.com/eg5W5KD.png)
93 dollars, 4 grenades, 2 9mm pistols, 2 necklaces, 2 9mm clips, and a .45 clip. Not bad, but no Ugly stash.
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/2DOmJxd.png)
"It's an ambush! Rail thieves burst out of hiding wielding deadly steel pry-bars!" Looks like it's about to be the end of Clan Atchison too.
We leave safe and sound while the rail-thieves are left to deal with the conundrum of living without legs.
It appears these were some really well informed rail-thieves since we can't confront the Atchisons about this. Oh well, at least we didn't lose thousands of dollars.
I went and tried to find Ellen or at the very least her daughter but both of them seem to be gone for good, so we have to get our reward from Quartz another way.
"The cemetery gates are chained shut and locked." As opposed to being chained shut and unlocked.
"The padlock opens. You unchain the gates and enter."
"Spirits pop out from a grave."
(http://i.imgur.com/Ocy2Vvq.png)
Several spirits might have popped out of the grave, but only one ghoul appears to care enough to shamble towards us.
While we don't have fire, our fire-axes seem to also be the bane of the undead. Our reward for this gracious endeavor? 280 cash and a broken toaster, don't let anyone tell you that graverobbing never pays.
This being a western RPG of some description, the graves can be read and say things such as: ""R.I.P. Mediocre Phred." "In memory of Richard Pickman." "Reserved for Finster." Also, a group of cutthroats show up and get half off on recently unoccupied graves, good for them. "Grave of the Unknown Mutant."
HERE LIES IN
HONORED GLORY
A MUTANT
SOLDIER
KNOWN BUT TO RANGERS
HONORED GLORY
A MUTANT
SOLDIER
KNOWN BUT TO RANGERS
"Ken St. Andre, 4/28/47--4/28/87" He died on his birthday? Must have had diabetes. "Lester More, shot by a .44. No Les, no more."
No Quartz, no more. Good thing too, I'd probably need a grave otherwise.
(http://i.imgur.com/J0L6e41.png)
I decide to stop by here on our way back to the Nomads because, why not?
(http://i.imgur.com/WhvrVQI.png)
"The old shack is made of weather beaten adobe, the door of rotting wood and rusting iron. Of course it is locked." The underground love shack, for when the surface grows dull. If you buy now it comes with a fully stocked Schlitz cooler!
"The dirt floor is covered with dry desert weeds. It looks like someone... or something has been sleeping here." I would be more concerned if people weren't sleeping in the love shack.
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
"Rangers, kill the scum!"
A couple ineffective shots at Brotherman and Rob with a dash of riposte later and the scavs have returned to being eco-friendly flooring. All they have on their corpses are items we either start out with or can buy easily.
Eco-friendly carpet supplements it seems, a bit too big though. Good thing we have the axes.
(http://i.imgur.com/2whA6BT.png)
It appears that snakes have mutated their legs back into existence, let's fix that.
(http://i.imgur.com/Ns2VLII.png)
"There is a coil of rope here." I don't think that's a rope, game. Believe what you want to though not like I can stop you.
20 cash and a rope go straight into Brotherman's pockets of holding.
Alright, let's get to the main attraction already.
(http://i.imgur.com/r3IHaHu.png)
"Something unusual is inside..." So it's that type of box? I guess it makes sense, this being the love shack and all.
Its actual contents are not male genitalia, but 4 gas masks and a rope. Everyone gets a mask besides Ace who doesn't have PC privilege.
(http://i.imgur.com/4gk3Hwa.png)
Strolling north we find a Rubble Lizard and chop it up for later, and are soon justified doing so as we find: "The half-eaten remains of what might have been a human. Gear is scattered all around the area." and
(http://i.imgur.com/sw2LQJ0.png)
10 Drools. A veritable holy war is needed to cleanse this place it seems.
Perhaps not, the Drools fail to scratch any of the rangers and fall quickly. For shame, but what can be expected from something more animal than man?
(http://i.imgur.com/6Jzdh1s.png)
While looting various knickknacks off of the Drools a legion of little people approaches from parts unknown!
A legion just as unimpressive as the last one. They even had grenades and throwing knives on them! What disappointments. Maybe one day the mutants will provide champions of value. Until then we'll just have to carve a bloody path the easy way.
"Your footsteps echo strangely through the vaulted darkness of this mine." Doesn't sound like a big deal to me, probably just dehydration. Just after this we find a drool with TNT, and the little people he stole it from. The Desert Rangers don't have a Lost & Found at the moment so instead they take the less convoluted path of petitioning to Hades.
(http://i.imgur.com/S6DoQ3y.png)
It took a fully stocked battalion of
The miners posthumously reward us with: 1 ax, 1 bag of TNT, 1 .45 clip, 1 rope, 1 knife, and 1 canteen for assassinating the dragon-blooded commanders, purging the Tunnel Lizard foe, and driving the Slithering Lizard army back into the depths.
(http://i.imgur.com/E4tQnb9.png)
With the scaled fiends eliminated, we finally find something of note in this blasphemous mine. "There is a lot of rubble on the floor as if someone has been chipping at the walls recently. The rocks look strange." Hmm, sounds like a job for Yoink. The game says no, however, so we don't. Looks like it's time to return to the Rail Nomads then.
But before we get there...
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/It7JNDj.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Yt8DW9A.png)
Dragonslaying, it seems, gives you a very high chance of promotion. Maybe instead of trying to get into our bosses' pants we should spend our time trying to put ourselves into the hearts of dragons. Sage advice, I know.
(http://i.imgur.com/60Md3zk.png)
For some reason paragraph 2 pops up again when we enter the Rail Nomad camp, but that doesn't really matter since we've got the code!
"The guard stops you at the entrance to the tent and requests that you stat your business.
CATERPILLAR is my business! I'm going to go into metamorphosis right here, right now!
"The guard looks at you quizzically, scratches his head, then disappears into the tent. An excited discussion ensues. The guard emerges again looking somewhat enlightened." Onto the next tent then.
"The guard looks at you sharply, then indicates you should enter the tent." Of course the only non-blurry sprited guard is the real one.
(http://i.imgur.com/qwtHk4C.png)
"You find yourself in a splendidly furnished tent. Men, women, children, and elders alike smile and greet you. From behind you hear the guard say, "Welcome to the Topeka Clan ... FOOLS!" At this the entire clan brandishes hidden weapons and attacks en-masse!"
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/jNm4KTs.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/6Jzdh1s.png)
"I am a Topekan," say the elders. "I am a Topekan", say the men. "I am a Topekan", say the women, and the children whisper something about "a feast tonight." Our response is a bit metallic and not nearly as endearing, but what can you do?
With the Topekan men blocking the exit and the women and children encircling them, can you really blame the Rangers for the bloodbath that this ends in? The Topekans surely can't.
Having splattered the men of Topeka all over the walls, A Thing, Yoink, and Rob begin cutting their way through the women in a attempt to send the children fleeing.
With the rhythm of the elder's drums empowering them, the Topekan Tods march towards the Rangers with a pistol-packing baby held high; a miniature siege tower wailing garbled obscenities.
Since the Youths desire no-quarter, they get none.
The elders try to make use of their many decades of experience, but sadly for them experience doesn't stop axes.
Neither does age stay punishment for attempted murder, as the Pistol-packing Pup soon learns.
So ends Clan Topeka, and so begins the corpserobbing. Some Rail-Raiders try to get in on the previously mentioned pillaging and get pillaged in return.
Onto the actual Atchison tent then.
(http://i.imgur.com/9R8BN9a.png)
CATERPILLAR!
"The guard looks you over closely and then tells you to wait outside as he disappears into the tent. You hear a brief muffled conversation and the guard returns with another man. The newcomer introduces himself as the headman of the Atchison clan. He understands that you have done a great favor for his brother. He dismisses the guard and motions you closer. He explains that they keep no treasure here, but he will give you directions to a secret cache. "Here, take this shovel," he instructs you. "Stand on the south rail, west end. Take twelve paces to the south. Dig and you shall be rewarded." The guard returns and the headman bids you good day."
(http://i.imgur.com/eg5W5KD.png)
93 dollars, 4 grenades, 2 9mm pistols, 2 necklaces, 2 9mm clips, and a .45 clip. Not bad, but no Ugly stash.
(http://i.imgur.com/h3GrjCx.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/2DOmJxd.png)
"It's an ambush! Rail thieves burst out of hiding wielding deadly steel pry-bars!" Looks like it's about to be the end of Clan Atchison too.
We leave safe and sound while the rail-thieves are left to deal with the conundrum of living without legs.
It appears these were some really well informed rail-thieves since we can't confront the Atchisons about this. Oh well, at least we didn't lose thousands of dollars.
I would grind up levels in the mines, but we're already decimating everything the game throws at us and I'd rather not make fights even more one-sided.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 09, 2016, 04:06:19 pm
Glad to see that no such problem exists here, yessir!
Post by: A Thing on June 09, 2016, 07:39:55 pm
I hear that one of the great dilemmas in Wasteland is whether to resist the urge to walk into everywhere and use your god-given ranger powers to indiscriminately and decisively obliterate opposition to your own interpretations of legality and morality.
Glad to see that no such problem exists here, yessir!
Hey now, the Topekans shot first, (not that a statement like that is reassuring when we could've left half-way through the battle but didn't.) Mistakes might have been made, but at the very least we didn't shoot a kid with a BB gun (I'm looking at you, Snake.)
Post by: A Thing on June 10, 2016, 10:39:51 pm
Spoiler: Bots, Bums, and Bloodstaffs, oh my! (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/9MAtEBT.png)
March along, sing our song, we're the Army of the free! Count the brave, count the true, who have fought to victory!
(http://i.imgur.com/Pmp6Ulm.png)
Men in rags, men who froze, Still that Army met its foes, And the Army went rolling along...
(http://i.imgur.com/YwDKyTz.png)
Servants of the Mushroom Cloud? This is the first sign of religion we've seen, so we should probably investigate it.
(http://i.imgur.com/oS5i2Cl.png)
"The Mushroom Bishop explains to you, "I sent out my second-in-command to look into a series of murders." You notice the bishop nervously twisting a ruby ring around his finger."
Good to know? What a way to greet newcomers. Probably completely unrelated to what we need to do here.
"The shifting desert sands have created a small hill."
(http://i.imgur.com/5MoXWPp.png)
Looks like we've found our objective, shame that climb skill doesn't work here. Oh well, at least a Brass Jerk showed up to alleviate our frustration with his brittle bones.
(http://i.imgur.com/b47hq0P.png)
This is where all of the tax money goes here, an absolutely unnecessary train. No wonder murder is so prevalent here.
"This railroad looks newly made, but the rails look very old."
"The train engineer yells, "All aboard!" Get on?"
YES
(http://i.imgur.com/Z0gXruG.png)
We could've just walked here, we aren't even on a new map. In fact, it would've been faster to walk!
(http://i.imgur.com/LPGa34M.png)
Down, down, to Needles town!
(http://i.imgur.com/HVZu3bt.png)
Free squeezins? I love this city already.
(http://i.imgur.com/iJGnT9n.png)
Maybe not so free after all, but it's not our lives being thrown away for the squeezins!
Brotherman and Yoink wrestle control of their chains and give them a bit of a squeezin'.
Four more round the corner, Brotherman tackles, Rob cleaves, and Ace topples two in one blow.
(http://i.imgur.com/0gNI3Tz.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Tbrs7W7.png)
"A soldier-type woman stands before you."
You look good, get in!
"The woman spits on the ground but joins you." Must be some sort of nervous twitch.
(http://i.imgur.com/gBrxrj5.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/nYeKtCo.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/1OSrkpx.png)
She also has 3 Alarm Disarm. Glad we're finally getting real party members and not packmules.
(http://i.imgur.com/Vp5jK22.png)
Some loitering jerks, I'm sure we could kill them, but I doubt it would be worth it.
(http://i.imgur.com/V4oBXuG.png)
"This looks like a private club. An eyeball appears in a hole in the wall and you hear, "What's the password?"
Rosebud?
"Blow off!" Seems like someone didn't like Citizen Kane.
(http://i.imgur.com/eg8Zcpm.png)
"This tour bus is gutted by explosions. Absolutely nothing of value here." The game isn't lying, even with perception usage we find nothing.
"This guy looks like some kind of religious fanatic. "Join the
(http://i.imgur.com/rcPtHys.png)
"Leroy's Place: A boutique." Some gang members attacked us before we entered this place, but they didn't meet much success.
"Leroy's was a classy clothing store, but now paint peels on the walls. Times have changed, too; you can see a big ammo counter on the south wall."
Such amazing fashions as "Camouflage clothing for the fashion-conscious desert dweller." and "Striped clothing for Wastemetal concerts." Sadly, no Kevlar suits are on display.
The gun store has a mediocre selection, but we still buy Christina a bulletproof vest so it still has some purpose in this world.
(http://i.imgur.com/bs6gzYH.png)
"Drinks are $10. Want one?"
Yes, but not for the drink.
"The bartender takes your money and gives you a glass of bitter piss-water. After a few sips he tells you about a weird cult, The Servants of the Mushroom Cloud, and tells you to watch out for their bloodstaff." That a literal thing or a innuendo? Guess we'll find out.
(http://i.imgur.com/6kW3dQ3.png)
Perusing the streets we find... "A sexy 3-legged lady leans against the wall. "Interested, cutie? $50!" Do you go for it?" Well, we are the only law and this IS a business which needs inspection, of course we go for it.
"Hey, I can only take on one at a time!" I don't believe that, but if you say so. Go forth Brotherman for the good of the city!
(http://i.imgur.com/HaoWKvr.png)
"She brings you into a quiet room where you have an interesting time. (Oh man, I love sherades!) She then walks off, leaving you feeling ... unclean." Seems she spiked the sherades box, typical mutant.
On his way back from being poisoned by a mutie cutie, Brotherman is jumped by three Celibate Criminals who take offense to his sherades, and surprisingly, he falls. Not for long as the other Rangers hear this and rectify it, but there was a chance he might die.
Collecting debts from the motel gives us a hand-mirror and that's it, oh well, at least we took their lives. Off to the doctor to get rid of sharaditis!
(http://i.imgur.com/znW980o.png)
What's he inflicted with, doc?
(http://i.imgur.com/I5ZtcmA.png) "WASTELAND HERPES!"
It costs $80 to cure WASTELAND HERPES, what an amazing world we live in.
(http://i.imgur.com/CeoWJFm.png)
Before we return to Downtown, let's explore the rest of Old Needles.
(http://i.imgur.com/WG6xc7I.png)
Such as the first library we've seen in this game, I think we get new skills from these, so in goes Brotherman to check it out.
(http://i.imgur.com/VAH2vIQ.png)
Looks like we use skill points here, so I give A Thing toaster repair and that's about it. Seems like I need to boost the intelligence of the rest of the party before they can get anything useful.
(http://i.imgur.com/IOPJjA8.png)
This mobile home is the "police station," again, I think we know why there are murders going on.
(http://i.imgur.com/YZ0ejiF.png)
"This is the police station. Swinging doors to the east."
Strangely enough this place shares the same carpeting as the Cultist place, probably nothing, probably nothing.
(http://i.imgur.com/QfTYxYl.png)
"A wimpy robotclerk (Who designs a wimpy robot?) sits behind a desk, swamped with paperwork. "Yeah?" it demands irately."
We can either "Report a crime" get a "Appointment with detective" or read the "Neighborhood Watch tips." Well, we can report the prostitute's faulty establishment later, let's read these tips first.
"It chucks you a Neighborhood Watch pamphlet and goes straight back to its work."
"The pamphlet contains two tips for the wise: "(1) Buy an AK-97 assault rifle. (2) If there's someone hanging around your neighborhood you don't know, shoot him." Once again the murders make sense.
Let's report that crime.
"The wimpy clerk takes out a little black book. "Want to report a: Murder or Theft?"
Well, I guess it would technically be a theft of Brotherman's dignity so let's go with that.
"What was stolen?"
His Dignity, you stupid bot.
"Who did it?"
The singular Prostitute, the only one in existence.
"The robotclerk writes something in his notebook and puts it away."
"Don't get your hopes up. We have to deal with the Bloodstaff murders first."
You frown. "What murders?" (The Bloodstaff murders!)
The robot clerk squints at you. "You mean you're not here about the murders? People are found dead, drained of blood. We think it's some mutant vampire or something from the desert." (Or it could be the cultists with the Bloodstaff, but that's too convenient.) He looks at you very hard. "How do I know you're really Rangers? Just you keep your noses clean in my town, hear?" Good thing for this robot that he's behind a invinci-desk and we can't disassemble him.
Let's instead go talk to someone with possibly useful insights such as the detective.
"The wimpy clerk checks a notebook and says "Yer lucky. He's free right now. Follow the hallway, it's the first door on the left. Well, go on!"
(http://i.imgur.com/JR9OLPm.png)
We see this on the way there, I really hope they aren't all robots.
(http://i.imgur.com/GTbB0Wg.png)
"A sign on the door says SPAM SHADE, DETECTIVE." Is it just me or is their a massive breach in the southwest corner of his office? I guess the tax money really is all going to that pointless railway.
"Spam Shade looks up at you." That doesn't really tell us anything, is he a robit or not? I guess this paragraph will tell us. "This detective reminds you of Humphrey Bogart. As you approach, he snicks a match with his thumbnail and lights a cigarette. (He reminds you of the average detective cliche, except that he's a ROBOT!) An overflowing ashtray sits on his desk beside an open bottle of Scotch. His
"Going back to his work, Sam says: "I suppose you wanna know about the Bloodstaff." He wipes his
That's all, but an interesting thing of note is "Spam's desk. Sheets of explosive-proof glass stretch from ceiling to floor." seems a bit gratuitous, but I guess it works.
That's all for the police station unless we want to piss off the cops and we want some sort of reward at the end of this, don't we?
(http://i.imgur.com/jYSu0d4.png)
"It is cool and dark in the ammo bunker." If we're going to stock up anywhere, it'll probably be here.
(http://i.imgur.com/ZvLnnSo.png)
"A heavy musty smell fills the ammo bunker. Puddles of blood splash when you step in them. You can easily tell that no one comes here very often." That's nice and all, but is that a tank up there in the upper-right corner? That's a point of interest if I've ever seen one.
(http://i.imgur.com/9cG1rrZ.png)
"This used to be a very powerful artillery piece. Too bad it is broken in several places."
(http://i.imgur.com/ReeUAgD.png)
"A rusted pile of wires and armor plating are all that remain of an M3 Regan All Terrain Hover Tank." Seems like our tread-based dreams are crushed, oh well, at least there is someone to talk to in here.
"A body lays here. You see an incision in his neck."
"You find..."
A ruby ring and a Bloodstaff, hmm. I doubt anything good can come from carrying that around, but
it seems like it would be useful, if not, at least it's probably worth something decent.
(http://i.imgur.com/lKZN7kq.png)
Despite looking like kennels these are actually the ammo shelves we've been looking for and they contain...
16 .45 clips, 7 7.62mm clips, 8 9mm clips, 1 Power pack (whatever that is) and old bloody robes. The ammo shelf to the far left has some old and unstable TNT, and we have enough "stable" TNT that I don't see the point in trying to recover more. Onwards to the middle-right shelves!
"These shelves have some mean looking grenades and some ugly gray lumps of plastic explosives." Again, don't we have enough of this stuff? Guess we can try getting more.
"Hold it! This stuff looks boobytrapped, maybe that's why it's still here." That still doesn't explain why there was a horde of untouched ammo, but I guess the Needlers might just be that stupid.
"Someone with the right skill will have to disarm this very dangerous boobytrap." Go and become the master of bomb disarming, Yoink!
"You did it! Gee you are good at that. Maybe you should go adventuring with a skill like that." Maybe I should migrate to Wizardry, I hear the economy is better there.
Also, this shelf contains: 11 grenades, 2 plastic explosives, and 1 TNT. Time to stuff all of it into Yoink's pants. Maybe one day I'll use the grenades in combat, maybe one day...
"This looks like a storage area for tank and artillery shells. There might even be one left." HINT HINT
Turns out there is a howitzer shell, we take it, obviously.
Out we go, back to down-town. On the way back we see "What's left of the city's defensive wall, looks old and broken." Dynamite obsoletes walls you dimwits!
(http://i.imgur.com/OxKsyKa.png)
"It smells musty and old in here. (Bit of a redundant description, but whatever.) There's all kinds of junk and trash against the far wall."
There might be junk and trash, but which one is this dude?
"There's a stinking corpse here. He's wrapped up in sheets." Dammit Spain, I thought we kicked you out.
That's all for this building, what a valuable use of everyone's time. Onto Downtown screen 2!
"You stand in the middle of a wide asphalt rode in a rundown neighborhood." There are also howitzer-made holes all over the place which means that...
(http://i.imgur.com/6RQ0upX.png)
...there's a howitzer somewhere. This is a working howitzer. You don't see any shells around, though. Again, how is this just left here? Probably shouldn't use this until we find what we're blowing up. Off we go.
(http://i.imgur.com/4C8aCSO.png)
"This Hollywood-style shop used to sell movie stills, posters, press kits, and scripts, but all of the stuff has been ripped. All that remains are some posters, sealed to the wall behind plastic."
"There's a bulletin board on the south wall."
"Coming soon: The Radheads!" I guess this is the bulletin board? I clicked on the south wall.
"Next week, "Humongous and the Mutants!"
"Next month, "Mario, Luigi and the Fireballs!"
"A computer software poster reads, "WASTELAND!"
"IBM VERSION: Michael Quarles (why the hell are there credits on a game poster?)
ORIGINAL PROGRAM: Alan "T.J." Pavlish
DESIGN: Brian Fargo........Alan "T.J." Pavlish
Ken St. Andre.........Michael A. Stackpole
MAPS:
Bruce Balfour....Elizabeth T. Danforth
Chris Christensen (whoever named him was a dick).... Jeff "T.G." Berman
Bill "Weez" Dugan.....Nishan Hossepian
GRAPHICS:
Todd J. Camasta.........Charles Weidman
Bruce Schlickbernd
DIRECTED BY:
Troy P. Worrel
PLAYTEST & DEVELOPMENT:
Bruce "Redbeard" Schlickbernd
Tom Decker (I should've never clicked on this wall)
MORAL SUPPORT:
Susan Quarles
Rated PG-13 (that Topeka massacre was %100 PG-13)
Coming soon to a theater near you." But it's a software poster! Goddammit game, at least make sense if your going to waste my time.
"A sign says, "Mutants not allowed". Are No Mutants Allowed, though?
"A poster says, "Gone with the Nuke Storm".
"A poster reads, "You've played the game, now experience the movie: Crater Raider."
Thank the scholars that's over, let's actually go to interesting places.
(http://i.imgur.com/djMNerj.png)
"This abandoned art gallery is now a shelter for those harmless people who don't want to become Hobo Dogs." At the very least we might get ASCII art from this.
"A poor bum squints up at you and begs, "Gimme sum squeenzins?"
Don't just take it, drown in it.
"He sucks the bottle dry." I said drown in it!
"The bum pleads, "Gimme more squeezins?"
"He drinks and falls asleep, mumbling, "Damn Acapulco club... Lost all my money..."
"You can't walk through, step on, or trample the bum."
Vertically we go!
(http://i.imgur.com/LR6gmxT.png)
"This is a large wooden platform, with lots of tables and chairs for customers of restaurants in the area." Looking at the railings this appears not to be just wood, but Lincoln logs! Might explain the nuclear holocaust, I certainly find the color offensive.
(http://i.imgur.com/7Egl1ne.png)
Sitting down at an empty table, we are jumped on by "An accordion player rushes over and starts playing "Intruder". He doesn't want money, just practice."
"Show some respect for the musician." I was just stepping on his face, there's nothing rude about that!
Everywhere we go the accordion player follows, let's leave before he get's too upset.
(http://i.imgur.com/kv8g6JT.png)
"Crowley's Occult Shop". There's a clerk with a foot-long beard (Is it worth five dollars?) sleeping in a corner. Shelves hold various mystical items."
Let's try and wake him up then.
"It's no use trying to wake up the proprietor. He's been asleep for weeks, it seems." Then out we go, again, hopefully one day we'll find somewhere worthwhile.
(http://i.imgur.com/ibA9NUP.png)
What is this, a food truck?
"You can't buy hot dogs here anymore since some nameless scum blew up the building." We can't buy hot dogs, but we can buy Hobo Dogs.
"This is a fast food stand. A girl behind the counter says, "Welcome to Hobo Dogs. Items are $5 each. Would you like to order?"
YES
Hmm, the classic Hobo Dog, some salty French-fried (really Belgian) fingers, saucy Barbecued brains, roasting over-easy Scalps, mutated Tramp's rump, and English Blood sausage. Since we're at Hobo Dogs, we might as well eat Hobo Dogs.
"Mmm. This dog made Hobo Dog famous." See? Logical reasoning. Off to the alley behind Hobo Dog.
(http://i.imgur.com/rkRKdrh.png)
"This door is locked. (Ah, I see, it's the entrance to Silent Hill.) On it is painted a picture of a staff superimposed on a convex disk." Fancy symbols won't save this door from the picklocking.
"A sign just inside the entrance says "Bill Dugan, Representative, Temple of Blood." Huh, sounds like a nice vacation spot.
To the south there are quizzes for prospective Blood Warlocks and to the west is...
..."A barren desk. Looks like someone's on vacation." Also, a clay pot. Fantastic. Northwards we go then, to the last building left in Needles that isn't magery related.
(http://i.imgur.com/7aRiX54.png)
"Guards block the entryway." Hmm, howitzer? Howitzer.
We can fire the shell: West, low trajectory, West, high, Southwest, low, Southwest, high, South, low, South, high. I think West, low trajectory should be the guard dudes and west, high might be bombing the Blood Temple. I go with west, low and...
(http://i.imgur.com/EnT0CnN.png)
...and this results.
Sadly, the rubble is impassable and for some reason we can't use our TNT here, oh well, it was worth a try. (No, West, high doesn't work either.) I'm not going to kill the guards since we don't know what building this is, might be the friggin' police for all we know.
With that, this update ends as we didn't get any promotions, sadly. I'm sure we'll get some after murdering the blood wizards if it eases the blow.
Wasteland 2 has a Steam free weekend right now, by the way. Has tons of spoilers for this game, obviously, but if you want a sneak peek of something I'll probably play eventually there you go. Hopefully by the time I'm done with this, Age of Decadence, and Darklands that game will have decent mods to make it more palatable.
Post by: A Thing on June 16, 2016, 09:45:32 pm
Spoiler: Cultist Capers (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/V4oBXuG.png)
ACAPULCO, you ingrate.
(http://i.imgur.com/iGs8nqI.png)
"Some gamblers huddling over the table. "We play pretty high stakes poker here, ranger. $50 ante, plus $50 table stakes."
We've already lost all of our money once, why lose it all again?
Doing a cursory search of the premises, we overhear...
"one of the players, "Did you hear the Mushroom Bishop sent his priest out to investigate the murders but no once has seen him for days?"
That's our reward? Probably shouldn't have used squeenzins for that. Oh well, off we return to the sand dunes.
I tried to climb the sand dunes, but climb doesn't seem to work and neither the hintbook nor the guide give me answers. Apparently we get a password out of this, I'll probably just look it up when we need it.
(http://i.imgur.com/oS5i2Cl.png)
Gaze upon the rot of your comrade, heathen!
"Where did you find that? Oh my god, he must be dead. The Bloodstaff was stolen from here and I'll generously reward you if you find it and bring it back. Last I knew he was going back to downtown Needles."
That was kinda a waste of time, but I wanted to try it out since I saw it mentioned in the hintbook.
(http://i.imgur.com/Z0gXruG.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/b47hq0P.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/rwKbqXZ.png)
Our two options are the BLOOD TEMPLE or the TOXIC PIT. The latter sounds a bit more appealing for now.
"There are stairs here leading into a waste pit."
(http://i.imgur.com/CFyAFvk.png)
"Dried blood covers the floor." Remember, all of this is because of that damn train.
"The concrete walls are burned and blackened as if there was once a great fire here."
"There is a large blue, smoke blackened 1 painted on the wall." Vast vocabulary on display here.
"You see torn shreds of bloodstained clothes laying all over the floor."
(http://i.imgur.com/d4FmqsB.png)
"This room looks as if many sacrificial murders have taken place here." Very strange blood color they have in this town.
(http://i.imgur.com/IXcL4Zl.png)
Bursting out of various viscera, the hulking worms attack!
Despite being large for worms, they weren't large for humans.
(http://i.imgur.com/wp1im2x.png)
Deeper into the pits of toxin we go...
"What is left of this door is a hundred little burned pieces of metal."
We can go into a square room or a series of rooms, let's start out with the simple.
(http://i.imgur.com/j7oD7D7.png)
"There isn't enough metal left of this door to make a paper clip."
"This door has been opened in a way that will never let it be closed again." Don't dog-ear doors people, it damages them!
(http://i.imgur.com/Mv3qIhF.png)
Nothing, there is absolutely nothing in here. Onto door hell we go.
"This steel door looks very thick (it's just husky) and heavy."
(http://i.imgur.com/rBQhNDA.png)
I apologize for nothing. Neither does the game: "The way is clear for you to pass."
(http://i.imgur.com/dd8shWs.png)
More doors, more boom.
"Somebody went through this room and wrecked it so long ago that everything has rusted." That is one awkward sentence. Is it saying the room has rusted in general or the wreckage has rusted? Who knows, who knows.
North, north to the land of More Flavor Text!
(http://i.imgur.com/KlqNdkD.png)
This door is also dog-eared. Have these people never visited a library?
"This steel door is as new as the day it was put in." Do what you do, Yoink.
(http://i.imgur.com/vGCFrx8.png)
Going down the corridor, our option are: go deeper into the depths or blow our way into a sideroom. The latter seems the more reasonable course as of right now.
"This room be murder, yo." I'm starting to wonder if I've come to this place too early. Maybe there will be something on the bottom floor...
(http://i.imgur.com/XMwcsow.png)
Might actually run out of TNT and plastic explosives at this rate.
(http://i.imgur.com/eR1zm3l.png)
"Old skeletons lay in the corner."
(http://i.imgur.com/Ocy2Vvq.png)
"A hideous, twenty foot tall beast. (Sign him up for the Knicks!) A mix of pig and crocodile turns to attack you." The squeezins might be getting the better of us, but we can't take chances with giant D&D rejects.
Ineffective ax blows, bellowing snorts, and flying Rangers; all in all it seems like we've found our mutant champion.
Christina cuts off the hand of the Champion and the rest of the Rangers continue on their current journey into the depths of mediocrity.
Eventually the Rangers hit the thing and it start fleeing! Friggin' coward muties.
Cornered and wounded, the Pit Ghoul weaponizes a nearby pole and jams it into A Thing. Must've offended him.
Rob returns the sentiment, and unlike A Thing, the Pit Pest doesn't survive.
(http://i.imgur.com/yjbE278.png)
Either this...
(http://i.imgur.com/dKiLByy.png)
or this. I've had enough of empty rooms, so the latter is much, much more interesting to me.
(http://i.imgur.com/ogn0fPz.png)
M1989A1 Nato Assault Rifles, Rad suits, and bullet proof vests! We've got the spoils of war. Next stop: Temple o' Blood.
(http://i.imgur.com/KYtUe8t.png)
A lot of radiation surrounding this place. Might explain the native manners.
(http://i.imgur.com/3OMJyos.png)
"You are in the entryway to the Temple o' Blood!" Is that a flying schoolbus? Seems a bit inefficient.
(http://i.imgur.com/ttPwpve.png)
"We don't want no temple desecrators here!"
A good sense of gallows humor you guys have, I can appreciate that in a cult.
They had 2 M17 carbines. Not that they got to use them effectively.
Also, "The atrium walls appear to be flowing rivers of blood but a glass wall actually holds the blood back." Did someone spike our squeenzins? Probably need to replace our supply after this.
(http://i.imgur.com/WfQEq4U.png)
"Hey you, you don't belong here!" Woah, this is getting really weird.
Our axes do barely any damage and Christina has to bail us out with the Nato rifle. Maybe we should...
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/rpI1zQB.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/CtoOOoK.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/5qxzcHk.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ELRTA0Z.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/7539NqT.png)
It doesn't make the Temple o' Blood that much easier, but hey, at least we've got proper recognition now.
(http://i.imgur.com/9sK2c7F.png)
"The blood stained door is locked. Dried blood covers the handle."
We've run out of explosives, sadly. I'm sure treasures beyond imagination hide behind that door. Also, that meeting room of cultists looks like a place we should go to last so I'm going to avoid that for now.
"You are at the entrance to the Sacrifice Room."
(http://i.imgur.com/TEiIgWz.png)
"A sign says, "Do not enter, electric torture room." Are you sure about that? That looks like a room of confetti to me.
Stumbling into a dimly lit room we see...
(http://i.imgur.com/3QNmzsQ.png)
"glowing torchlight flickering across a horrific scene. Men in torn and blood spattered robes struggle against the ropes binding them to massive steel tables. The tables slope down at the head and a catch basin at the lowest corner is used to collect the dark flow of blood dripping from the small wounds cut into each writhing victim.
Priests rush from one table to another, gathering buckets the way a dairy farmer gathers the bucket of milk from his cows. They pour the smaller quantities of blood into a hole in the floor, but you cannot tell where the dark fluid drains away to in this dim chamber of horrors." Perhaps this whole Desert Ranger thing was a mistake.
(http://i.imgur.com/in5cNPv.png)
"Now we shall execute you!" I always knew that nuRock would be the death of us.
Despite the distressing description, the executioners aren't exactly a threat. Oh well, the "robots" are still threats.
"There is a man here, dressed in rags. He is held captive by an ever-lowering laser beam." I wonder...
"You are at a control board. It asks, "Do you wish to deactivate?"
No, I absolutely don't want to press don't.
"The humming dies and the hobo is freed."
Time to HIRE the hobo.
I'm not even going to show his stats because he is just another terrible NPC. Back to exploration.
(http://i.imgur.com/3WdY9Sd.png)
"Within the room is an electric chair. Have a seat."
Brotherman takes a seat and gets a mild buzz, what a disappointment. Maybe that gathering of cultists won't be that bad after all?
(http://i.imgur.com/iDbNkHR.png)
"This door opens into a huge altar room. Everyone inside is in deep meditation and ignores you."
Also, there's a hunter robot in the middle of the room. Fantastic.
He's turned into scrap, but not before doing absurd amounts of damage. Keep in mind that we've been obliterating every encounter before this. Quality balancing.
I just want to mention before we enter here that to access half of this base we had to go through the peaceful altar room. You would think the noise pollution would cause problems for such a thing but apparently it isn't a big deal.
(http://i.imgur.com/bByvOm3.png)
"You see a room with black walls. It appears to be a locker room." Wow, we get 2 bulletproof vests! Amazing, That'll stop the robots!
(http://i.imgur.com/mvz8ghk.png)
"You see a room with red walls. (How is that a notable feature in the TEMPLE OF BLOOD?) It appears to be a locker room." We get a Kevlar vest in here which is actually pretty good. Also, no, we can't open the lockers.
(http://i.imgur.com/vLsjFDj.png)
"A pair of Blood Guardians flank a complex control panel, the like of which you've not seen before in the wasteland. (So what your saying is that blood walls are a normal thing here?) One of the guards looks at you and you hear him mutter "infidels" under his breath. Beyond them you see a large area of painted floor that looks very much like a giant chessboard, but you can't begin to guess at what it might be for, or what it's doing in the middle of a temple." Puzzles are always the best parts of RPGs.
"Welcome to the holy game grid.
Would you like to play?"
Yes? Not like we have much of a choice.
"You appear on what seems to be the lower half of a large chessboard. A booming voice echoes through the game grid. "Do not stray from the path if you value your health." Spectators fill the dark galleries to hoot derisive jeers at you and wager against your success."
Have I mentioned that puzzles are great, because they are.
"A booming voice says, "You have strayed from the sacred path! Stray again and pay the price!"
From each of the corners of the grid, fortified structures bearing tremendous laser turrets rise through the floor."
So I just walk and take damage? Okay, whatever you say game.
(http://i.imgur.com/LXk8U7Q.png)
"The crowned robot powers up and says, "How many steps is the one true path?"
(http://i.imgur.com/lGxEbe0.png)
Thirty is the number. I think your expected to rest, take damage, and find this out through trial and error at least that's the impression I got. No thanks.
"A trapdoor opens in the floor and you fall through to...
(http://i.imgur.com/oI8Ldcc.png)
This massive chamber consists of a great body of bloody water surrounding an island (Avalon?) in the center. You stand on
It's swimming, Joel!
(http://i.imgur.com/kcpeZiV.png)
I question the point in putting a slow swimming section where we take minor damage right before a section where we can just rest it all away. Whatever, the fact that there is a LAKE OF BLOOD makes up for the minor annoyance.
(http://i.imgur.com/ttPwpve.png)
Despite the game calling this guy a sniper he drops an Uzi. I feel as if that says all there is to say about his effectiveness.
There is another sniper in the northeastern section of the island and he also drowns in blood.
(http://i.imgur.com/IJaEfuP.png)
"A large wooden gate." If we try to picklock it the game says nothing but "Sorry." I'm not sorry for what we're about to do.
"You notice a pressure plate just inside the main gate." (This raised Rob's perception to 2.)
"Do you want to jump across the pressure sensitive plate?" Yes? I don't see why we would want to walk over it.
(http://i.imgur.com/0CKkAGD.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ttPwpve.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/VWMJKT5.png)
I suppose the cultists haven't heard about what happened to the pistoleros.
Leaping and bounding the Rangers go to their goal of somehow make this Lake o' Blood even bloodier.
Soaring skulls, trekking toes, and air-born arms...
We got a lot of things out of that and one of the most notable things was 6 howitzer shells; why some generic grunts had these I do not know, but I'll be making use of them.
We encounter another door and another door is ruptured.
(http://i.imgur.com/uPr4UbZ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/W0cgOee.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ttPwpve.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/VWMJKT5.png)
"As you might expect from his surroundings, the demon-priest (Whoa now, I'm sure he's an alright guy!) is an utterly corrupt individual. A flowing blue robe covers his diseased body.. and a foul smirk twists his face askew. He smiles and teeth blacker than ebony glint in the half-light. Palsey's wracked hands grasp the Bloodstaff tightly and threaten you with it. "You will not have it," he whispers harshly. "You cannot take my life!" I disagree.
With a horde of Bloodbeasts and Guards approaching, the rangers retreat to the natural chokepoint of the door way. Afterwards they hold the pass... continue to hold the pass... contemplate further pass holding... and eventually...
...Yoink pulls out a grenade. The results are not exactly favorable to the horde.
Another grenade, another mass grave.
With his entourage dead, the bloodpriests head is sent rolling. He had a good run, bit of a shame that he never planned that far ahead.
Ascending the stairway we landed near...
(http://i.imgur.com/1LDCvf1.png)
"Although you do not recognize it at first, the object before you is massive and sends shivers up your spines. You stud,,, (sic) it, splitting up to explore both sides at the same time. From the other side someone yells, "It's a missile - but the insides have been removed!"
(http://i.imgur.com/EHDai9W.png)
Besides the pool of acid, there is this dude who I'm sure can tell us more.
"Please help me! I have been trying to figure out the launch code for months. If you know what it is, please tell me."
Launch code is MOTEKIM. I missed an open chair in the altar room apparently.
"The man shouts, "Free at last!" and runs out."
(http://i.imgur.com/6KwGSZU.png)
Now the missile silo has a pair of tiny feet, adorable.
"Some sort of electric field exists to the north.
The field flows through you and drops you..."
(http://i.imgur.com/8ReNsva.png)
...here. Off to our reward then!
(http://i.imgur.com/oS5i2Cl.png)
"Thank you so much for returning the Bloodstaff. I hear that there is trouble in Las Vegas. To show you my appreciation, here are some items that may help you survive in Las Vegas."
An AK97, a Kevlar vest, a Nato rifle, clips, and an engine. Significantly better than what the entirety of Quartz was able to gather.
Also, we can
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/JEwBeSf.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/DsuRUU3.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/v0QYvbj.png)
Post by: A Thing on June 19, 2016, 11:36:39 am
(http://i.imgur.com/iBkDtXE.png)
Proud of all we have done, Fighting till the battle's done, and the Army Goes Rolling Along...
"The engine slides into place and you start the device running!"
"We wanted to fix it for a long time! Please accept our deep and sincere thanks!"
They give us 4 leather jackets, 1 mangler, 8 9mm clips, 4 jewelry and 438 moneybucks. One wonders why they didn't just fix it on their own, but maybe they are all cripples or something.
Wanted to do an update but didn't want to enter a new area so this is what you get.
Post by: A Thing on June 26, 2016, 04:43:36 pm
Spoiler: 'Tis just a bout of sterility, Ace! It'll pass, it'll pass. (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/NMBZI4r.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/8vJsP6Y.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/0CvAGrs.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/AVT5883.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/bX2dSlc.png)
I did more dragonslaying and the results were as expected. Really didn't help that much against the robits, but I found out that Rad Suits have 5 AC so the robits should do less damage now. Hopefully we'll find something better after...
(http://i.imgur.com/X8uKOIC.png)
...occurs.
(http://i.imgur.com/yStchK5.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/qL7D4y2.png)
Darwin Village is surrounded by radiation and I couldn't find enough rad suits for everyone, so enjoy your permanent disabilities.
(http://i.imgur.com/I5ZtcmA.png)
I visit the Wasteland renowned cancer researcher Dr. Jekyll for treatment before investigating more of Darwin. Better plans for entrance to radioactive areas have been made.
(http://i.imgur.com/p2qO6m7.png)
Would've been much worse if Brotherman didn't revive everyone by hand. I have no idea why you would ever go to a doctor in this game besides to be cured, it just costs way too much. Also...
(http://i.imgur.com/tMNmsrQ.png)
"Hey you scumbags."
I see, it's one of those villages. I suppose we should do something about 'em.
The Night Screamers scream and scream and after a lengthy battle, they scream no more. What a pity.
(http://i.imgur.com/PlcXbns.png)
By the way, before we enter this place I just want to tell you the general store has no rad suits, so prepare yourselves for the inevitable time-warp.
(http://i.imgur.com/uCyuMnb.png)
Is this where we build the table forts? I'm sure the master architect over there knows more.
"Drinks are $75 each. So, what'll it be?"
Kamikaze I guess?
"The bartender, Cecil, lingers, waiting to see if you want anything else."
Come chat, Cecil.
"The bartender frowns. "Not much since the plague forced Finster to isolate the base."
Who names their kid Finster?
"Irwin John Finster, he runs Project Darwin. He still thinks the word's like it was before, you know?" So he's aghoul mutant then?
Project Darwin? Is that political party or something?
"Well, I don't know anything about that." Why did you tell me about it then?
How about that theory of evolution, eh?
"I don't know nothing about that."
Off to the corner men it is.
(http://i.imgur.com/OlnumTq.png)
"You see two deathly ill men laying here." Hey now, they might be ugly, but that's just rude.
(http://i.imgur.com/i1LxqnC.png)
"This man is delirious, sweat dris down his face with a flushed complexion." Maybe it's maybeline.
That's all for Black Gila Tavern. Onwards, to victory!
(http://i.imgur.com/WG6xc7I.png)
The battle against ignorance is more victorious than you would think.
Brotherman get a point in a doctoring doctorate, Rob also gets a doctorate, and Ace becomes a level 4 brawler.
(http://i.imgur.com/tq635Nx.png)
This manor-house has no doors. I guess the land-value in Darwin is really that bad.
(http://i.imgur.com/oL178ps.png)
A group of Balaclava Bums comes by to give well-wishings to the cancer patients, they even give them a T-hug or two. What a wonderful bunch.
More
(http://i.imgur.com/tMNmsrQ.png)
rise from death to terrorize the Rangers! If only they were completely incompetent. They are, however, absolutely filled to the brim with experience juice which makes this whole thing worthwhile.
(http://i.imgur.com/O7n1VN6.png)
This building we can enter, so we do.
(http://i.imgur.com/tdTIRRp.png)
The room with a table is apparently "The Lab" and the table houses tests tubes.
Using IQ we learn that we can use chemicals and fruit to make antitoxins here. Interesting, but not enough for me to go and find either of those things. Back to exploration we go.
(http://i.imgur.com/D1kj2ZR.png)
Upon leaving we are confronted by some Towering Townies!
Despite the overwhelming power of their glorious manes, they do not come out of this conflict the victor.
(http://i.imgur.com/PjbGatE.png)
"What are you guys doing back here? You better have the correct password this time." I forgot to use something when I last entered this place, and that thing is...
...PROTEUS!
"That's not it."
"I'll teach you not to try and break in here."
We teach them the exact thickness of the human skull, it is an enlightening experience. Time to find out what counter man's deal is.
"THE BLACK MARKET."
"Who wants to enter?"
Brotherman does, he's the only party member with social skills after all.
(http://i.imgur.com/pYHBaH4.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/V022mmG.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/0VisEeI.png)
Rad suits be damned, we can get chainsaws here! Well, actually we can only get one chainsaw for now, but we'll return, we'll return.
(http://i.imgur.com/tMNmsrQ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/D1kj2ZR.png)
A fair-haired and screaming horde of chainsaw enthusiasts approaches!
(http://i.imgur.com/B7cZzVu.png)
Also, this is the path to the Darwin Project. I dunno why it has to be a special snowflake, but it does.
(http://i.imgur.com/gbuhc02.png)
Welcome to Let's Play Chips' Challenge. Do you also like blockpushing? I know I do.
(http://i.imgur.com/IcbEAKT.png)
"A titanium door with a slot in it blocks you." Well, I never liked Chips' Challenge anyway! I'm going to Vegas! Vegas has never cheated me!
Next time on Let's Play Wasteland!...
(http://i.imgur.com/m2YyGiI.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/8vJsP6Y.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/0CvAGrs.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/AVT5883.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/bX2dSlc.png)
I did more dragonslaying and the results were as expected. Really didn't help that much against the robits, but I found out that Rad Suits have 5 AC so the robits should do less damage now. Hopefully we'll find something better after...
(http://i.imgur.com/X8uKOIC.png)
...occurs.
(http://i.imgur.com/yStchK5.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/qL7D4y2.png)
Darwin Village is surrounded by radiation and I couldn't find enough rad suits for everyone, so enjoy your permanent disabilities.
(http://i.imgur.com/I5ZtcmA.png)
I visit the Wasteland renowned cancer researcher Dr. Jekyll for treatment before investigating more of Darwin. Better plans for entrance to radioactive areas have been made.
(http://i.imgur.com/p2qO6m7.png)
Would've been much worse if Brotherman didn't revive everyone by hand. I have no idea why you would ever go to a doctor in this game besides to be cured, it just costs way too much. Also...
(http://i.imgur.com/tMNmsrQ.png)
"Hey you scumbags."
I see, it's one of those villages. I suppose we should do something about 'em.
The Night Screamers scream and scream and after a lengthy battle, they scream no more. What a pity.
(http://i.imgur.com/PlcXbns.png)
By the way, before we enter this place I just want to tell you the general store has no rad suits, so prepare yourselves for the inevitable time-warp.
(http://i.imgur.com/uCyuMnb.png)
Is this where we build the table forts? I'm sure the master architect over there knows more.
"Drinks are $75 each. So, what'll it be?"
Kamikaze I guess?
"The bartender, Cecil, lingers, waiting to see if you want anything else."
Come chat, Cecil.
"The bartender frowns. "Not much since the plague forced Finster to isolate the base."
Who names their kid Finster?
"Irwin John Finster, he runs Project Darwin. He still thinks the word's like it was before, you know?" So he's a
Project Darwin? Is that political party or something?
"Well, I don't know anything about that." Why did you tell me about it then?
How about that theory of evolution, eh?
"I don't know nothing about that."
Off to the corner men it is.
(http://i.imgur.com/OlnumTq.png)
"You see two deathly ill men laying here." Hey now, they might be ugly, but that's just rude.
(http://i.imgur.com/i1LxqnC.png)
"This man is delirious, sweat dris down his face with a flushed complexion." Maybe it's maybeline.
That's all for Black Gila Tavern. Onwards, to victory!
(http://i.imgur.com/WG6xc7I.png)
The battle against ignorance is more victorious than you would think.
Brotherman get a point in a doctoring doctorate, Rob also gets a doctorate, and Ace becomes a level 4 brawler.
(http://i.imgur.com/tq635Nx.png)
This manor-house has no doors. I guess the land-value in Darwin is really that bad.
(http://i.imgur.com/oL178ps.png)
A group of Balaclava Bums comes by to give well-wishings to the cancer patients, they even give them a T-hug or two. What a wonderful bunch.
More
(http://i.imgur.com/tMNmsrQ.png)
rise from death to terrorize the Rangers! If only they were completely incompetent. They are, however, absolutely filled to the brim with experience juice which makes this whole thing worthwhile.
(http://i.imgur.com/O7n1VN6.png)
This building we can enter, so we do.
(http://i.imgur.com/tdTIRRp.png)
The room with a table is apparently "The Lab" and the table houses tests tubes.
Using IQ we learn that we can use chemicals and fruit to make antitoxins here. Interesting, but not enough for me to go and find either of those things. Back to exploration we go.
(http://i.imgur.com/D1kj2ZR.png)
Upon leaving we are confronted by some Towering Townies!
Despite the overwhelming power of their glorious manes, they do not come out of this conflict the victor.
(http://i.imgur.com/PjbGatE.png)
"What are you guys doing back here? You better have the correct password this time." I forgot to use something when I last entered this place, and that thing is...
...PROTEUS!
"That's not it."
"I'll teach you not to try and break in here."
We teach them the exact thickness of the human skull, it is an enlightening experience. Time to find out what counter man's deal is.
"THE BLACK MARKET."
"Who wants to enter?"
Brotherman does, he's the only party member with social skills after all.
(http://i.imgur.com/pYHBaH4.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/V022mmG.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/0VisEeI.png)
Rad suits be damned, we can get chainsaws here! Well, actually we can only get one chainsaw for now, but we'll return, we'll return.
(http://i.imgur.com/tMNmsrQ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/D1kj2ZR.png)
A fair-haired and screaming horde of chainsaw enthusiasts approaches!
HERE LIES IN
HONORED GLORY
A MUTANT
SOLDIER
KNOWN BUT TO RANGERS
HONORED GLORY
A MUTANT
SOLDIER
KNOWN BUT TO RANGERS
(http://i.imgur.com/B7cZzVu.png)
Also, this is the path to the Darwin Project. I dunno why it has to be a special snowflake, but it does.
(http://i.imgur.com/gbuhc02.png)
Welcome to Let's Play Chips' Challenge. Do you also like blockpushing? I know I do.
(http://i.imgur.com/IcbEAKT.png)
"A titanium door with a slot in it blocks you." Well, I never liked Chips' Challenge anyway! I'm going to Vegas! Vegas has never cheated me!
Next time on Let's Play Wasteland!...
(http://i.imgur.com/m2YyGiI.png)
I found a safe way out of Darwin by the way, so don't worry about that. Apparently mountains are impervious to radiation.
Post by: A Thing on June 28, 2016, 05:37:59 pm
Spoiler: Veni, Vidi, Viva? (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/fxsPjgq.png)
Vegas looks a lot like Quartz, hopefully the people don't look like Quartz too.
(http://i.imgur.com/Pzmi43F.png)
Well, I already know where I'm going.
(http://i.imgur.com/ZDyIgwl.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/mGCKzah.png)
"Death Machines!"
Dead Machines! Seems our new armor is pulling its weight.
(http://i.imgur.com/mGCKzah.png)
"Warroids!"
The warroids might look menacing, but it turns out they can't do much when a raging group of berserkers climbs on top of them. They manage to knock off and run over A Thing and Christina before being dismantled for their RPG-7 and meager grenade supply.
(http://i.imgur.com/ZDyIgwl.png)
A massed group of long-legged bots over a field of cacti is just asking for impalement, and it would be rude to ignore that request, right?
(http://i.imgur.com/Jn2He2z.png)
From the bleakest of alleyways come the... Backstreet Bandits!
A Thing lops off the legs and Rob lops off the heads, making this fight into some sort of murder assembly line.
(http://i.imgur.com/mMsG0ZZ.png)
Several billion dollars worth of robots later and we finally find something interesting: the Vegas Raceway.
Well, it was interesting until the thugs pulled out there guns and started firing. Back to the assembly line it is then.
(http://i.imgur.com/Vri1tvK.png)
"Step inside Spade's Casino, high roller." Well, when you put it like that... how can I refuse?
(http://i.imgur.com/yG2Ip6e.png)
"People with money are always welcome here." No peasants allowed.
"This hallway is shabby and well used. It looks more like the entrance to a fort than the legendary Spade's Casino." If your Casino isn't prepared for gunbattles, then it's no Casino.
(http://i.imgur.com/dr07uOG.png)
"The inside of Spade's Casino is even more run down than the hallway. The rugs are worn through and the walls need a new coat of paint."
Well, let's do the traditional thing and go to the bar.
"You stand at the bar hoping to get a drink and wait.. and wait..."
"Finally a pit boss comes over to you."
"The pit boss sends a stream of brown saliva from between his front teeth to the tip of your boots. (The hygiene on display here is simply sublime.) He slowly sucks on the tobacco pocketed between his cheek and gum as he continues to eye you. Working a finger into his mouth, he scoots the chew around and finally breaks the silence. "See Crumb, the manager," he says with a long drawl."
(http://i.imgur.com/qEX7vkD.png)
We are then teleported to Crumb, the manager.
"Hi.I'm Daisy. They call me Crumb," he says with a nod of his head. After he exchanges handshakes with everybody, he tells you "See Faran Brygo. He's my boss. Be sure to use the password KESTREL." As you leave, he yells, "Tell him I sent you!"
Even though we've been pressganged we still have plenty to explore, so let's get back to that.
(http://i.imgur.com/oudadmK.png)
This golf pond is shaped like a rubber chicken, isn't that wonderful? Also, "Many errant golf balls have been hit into the pond." how fascinating.
(http://i.imgur.com/mGCKzah.png)
More attacks from these things. This time, however, there is a Warroid Mark 3! No matter how much of a beating the thing takes, it simply keeps on going! Thankfully Brotherman carving into into its transmission stops it, but it seems like we're going to need better weapons if we want to be successful here.
A few steps east and we see the nightmarish thing known as the...
(http://i.imgur.com/irK712d.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Nhv1xMa.png)
Scorpitron!!! Upon seeing the Rangers its claws open up, revealing two mini-guns. Both of which connect to a strange device on its tail that houses an ominously clear liquid. It seems that some engineer really hated Communists.
Yoink readies his RPG while the rest of the party scrambles for cover.
Both Yoink and the Scorpitron miss, good for them, not so good for the already frail intersection.
Seeing Yoink's success the Rangers rush forward, at least most of them do. Brotherman takes a grazing hit and his body refuses to move any further. The ensuing rescue operation is rough in its execution and knocks Brotherman unconscious.
The Rangers take cover in debris surrounding the Scorpitron having finally arrived at a safe attacking distance. Brotherman wakes up and charges, but fails to do significant damage. The rest of the party sees just as much success besides Yoink, who readies a grenade, and Christina who loads her rifle.
The Scorpitron takes aim at Brotherman once again. This time, however, Brotherman begins shaking after he collapses and he clearly isn't going to get back up on his own.
Now Christina gets to experience the dead engineer's wrath, she doesn't fare much better than Brotherman.
Yoink throws a grenade at the Scorpitron and while the explosion glances off of the ceramic plating, it manages to temporarily knock the mechanical monster off balance. Ace, seeing this golden opportunity, slams his ax into the exposed piping. The now free burning liquid creeps into the hull of the Scorpitron and an electrical flame soon erupts from the innards of the machine!
Yoink begins throwing plastic explosives, but only manages to injure A Thing.
Ace keeps on swinging and the Scorpitron keeps on gunning indiscriminately while the rest of the Rangers keep on being incapacitated and revived. Eventually the battle comes to a head wheneveryone dies and I have to reload Ace throws his ax at the strange device, sending the Scorpitron into an cascading inferno.
Now that we've done that let's final-
(http://i.imgur.com/WflYRHw.png)
For fucks sake. What type of horrorbot is that anyway? The creation of those has to be a warcrime somewhere.
We put it out of its misery and get a sonic key. Neat.
Now, to Faran Brygo!
(http://i.imgur.com/e9kwBeM.png)
"What's the word?" Please? No? Kestrel? By the way, this building suffers from outlaw hideout syndrome and I had to use the hintbook to find it.
"This place looks like an old abandoned software development house." HINT HINT
I think this would be a good time to...
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Pv7ZZZB.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Rqmz0X7.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/DnD6yEm.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/5tVVlPk.png)
So ends this update.
Vegas looks a lot like Quartz, hopefully the people don't look like Quartz too.
(http://i.imgur.com/Pzmi43F.png)
Well, I already know where I'm going.
(http://i.imgur.com/ZDyIgwl.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/mGCKzah.png)
"Death Machines!"
Dead Machines! Seems our new armor is pulling its weight.
(http://i.imgur.com/mGCKzah.png)
"Warroids!"
The warroids might look menacing, but it turns out they can't do much when a raging group of berserkers climbs on top of them. They manage to knock off and run over A Thing and Christina before being dismantled for their RPG-7 and meager grenade supply.
(http://i.imgur.com/ZDyIgwl.png)
A massed group of long-legged bots over a field of cacti is just asking for impalement, and it would be rude to ignore that request, right?
(http://i.imgur.com/Jn2He2z.png)
From the bleakest of alleyways come the... Backstreet Bandits!
A Thing lops off the legs and Rob lops off the heads, making this fight into some sort of murder assembly line.
(http://i.imgur.com/mMsG0ZZ.png)
Several billion dollars worth of robots later and we finally find something interesting: the Vegas Raceway.
Well, it was interesting until the thugs pulled out there guns and started firing. Back to the assembly line it is then.
(http://i.imgur.com/Vri1tvK.png)
"Step inside Spade's Casino, high roller." Well, when you put it like that... how can I refuse?
(http://i.imgur.com/yG2Ip6e.png)
"People with money are always welcome here." No peasants allowed.
"This hallway is shabby and well used. It looks more like the entrance to a fort than the legendary Spade's Casino." If your Casino isn't prepared for gunbattles, then it's no Casino.
(http://i.imgur.com/dr07uOG.png)
"The inside of Spade's Casino is even more run down than the hallway. The rugs are worn through and the walls need a new coat of paint."
Well, let's do the traditional thing and go to the bar.
"You stand at the bar hoping to get a drink and wait.. and wait..."
"Finally a pit boss comes over to you."
"The pit boss sends a stream of brown saliva from between his front teeth to the tip of your boots. (The hygiene on display here is simply sublime.) He slowly sucks on the tobacco pocketed between his cheek and gum as he continues to eye you. Working a finger into his mouth, he scoots the chew around and finally breaks the silence. "See Crumb, the manager," he says with a long drawl."
(http://i.imgur.com/qEX7vkD.png)
We are then teleported to Crumb, the manager.
"Hi.
Even though we've been pressganged we still have plenty to explore, so let's get back to that.
(http://i.imgur.com/oudadmK.png)
This golf pond is shaped like a rubber chicken, isn't that wonderful? Also, "Many errant golf balls have been hit into the pond." how fascinating.
(http://i.imgur.com/mGCKzah.png)
More attacks from these things. This time, however, there is a Warroid Mark 3! No matter how much of a beating the thing takes, it simply keeps on going! Thankfully Brotherman carving into into its transmission stops it, but it seems like we're going to need better weapons if we want to be successful here.
A few steps east and we see the nightmarish thing known as the...
(http://i.imgur.com/irK712d.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Nhv1xMa.png)
Scorpitron!!! Upon seeing the Rangers its claws open up, revealing two mini-guns. Both of which connect to a strange device on its tail that houses an ominously clear liquid. It seems that some engineer really hated Communists.
Yoink readies his RPG while the rest of the party scrambles for cover.
Both Yoink and the Scorpitron miss, good for them, not so good for the already frail intersection.
Seeing Yoink's success the Rangers rush forward, at least most of them do. Brotherman takes a grazing hit and his body refuses to move any further. The ensuing rescue operation is rough in its execution and knocks Brotherman unconscious.
The Rangers take cover in debris surrounding the Scorpitron having finally arrived at a safe attacking distance. Brotherman wakes up and charges, but fails to do significant damage. The rest of the party sees just as much success besides Yoink, who readies a grenade, and Christina who loads her rifle.
The Scorpitron takes aim at Brotherman once again. This time, however, Brotherman begins shaking after he collapses and he clearly isn't going to get back up on his own.
Now Christina gets to experience the dead engineer's wrath, she doesn't fare much better than Brotherman.
Yoink throws a grenade at the Scorpitron and while the explosion glances off of the ceramic plating, it manages to temporarily knock the mechanical monster off balance. Ace, seeing this golden opportunity, slams his ax into the exposed piping. The now free burning liquid creeps into the hull of the Scorpitron and an electrical flame soon erupts from the innards of the machine!
Yoink begins throwing plastic explosives, but only manages to injure A Thing.
Ace keeps on swinging and the Scorpitron keeps on gunning indiscriminately while the rest of the Rangers keep on being incapacitated and revived. Eventually the battle comes to a head when
Now that we've done that let's final-
(http://i.imgur.com/WflYRHw.png)
For fucks sake. What type of horrorbot is that anyway? The creation of those has to be a warcrime somewhere.
We put it out of its misery and get a sonic key. Neat.
Now, to Faran Brygo!
(http://i.imgur.com/e9kwBeM.png)
"What's the word?" Please? No? Kestrel? By the way, this building suffers from outlaw hideout syndrome and I had to use the hintbook to find it.
"This place looks like an old abandoned software development house." HINT HINT
I think this would be a good time to...
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Pv7ZZZB.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Rqmz0X7.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/DnD6yEm.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/5tVVlPk.png)
So ends this update.
Post by: A Thing on July 01, 2016, 05:00:28 pm
Spoiler: Referential Rapscallions (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/4ziPEAI.png)
We return to the corridor of dark and eerie. Why is it eerie and dark, I do not know for sure but it is probably because it leads to...
(http://i.imgur.com/MyZjigd.png)
...here.
"Do you want to see Mr. Brygo?"
Yes? No real reason not to.
"Who sent you?"
Crumb, the manager.
"Enter. Mr. Brygo has been expecting you."
"The door shuts behind you. You see Faran Brygo sitting at his desk with two huge body guards nearby."
"Faran Brygo's office is modest, yet clean and pleasant. Two guards, one tall, blond and stern looking, the other shorter and stockier, flank the desk. Brygo, a dark, handsome (citation needed) man, smiles at you. "I understand you want to speak to me, gentlemen?"
So, uhh, what are we supposed to do?
"Once the introductions have been made, the Big Boss (Where's his eyepatch?) pulls out a box of cigars and passes them around, explaining that it is his special blend, grown somewhere further north. When everyone is comfortable, and the bodyguards have taken up unobtrusive positions behind you, he begins to talk.
"You must be the Rangers sent to help."
"What do you mean?" you cautiously ask. (He means we've been sent to help!)
"One of mycommemorative spoons men is missing. We don't think he's dead, he's just stupid because he's too valuable to kill. We think some other group in town has grabbed him. If we don't get him back, the whole town will probably be overrun by these damn death machines (You mean dead machines.) that have started to appear, because he's the only one in town with the scientific know-how to fight them. (We never killed that Scorpitron, I don't know what your talking about.) He's the one who thought of the landmines, and they've destroyed more robots than anything else in town." (The landmines he's talking about can't even do damage to us so I have no idea how they would manage to kill a robot.) Brygo reaches into his desk and brings out a drawing of a rather ordinary man. "This is Max," he explains. "He came to us about a year ago from the Wasteland TM to the east. He was the greatest hand-to-hand fighter we'd ever seen and he also seemed to know a lot about the science from before the War. He didn't remember where he came from - at least, that's what he told us. I quickly made him my right hand man." (Seems like a good decision to me!)
"When we began to hear rumors of death machines coming out of the west, and especially when the first of them reached the Vegas borders several weeks ago, Max grew frantic. he began to talk crazy, about how all life was in peril, and how only he could save us. He said he needed special equipment, and that someone near Vegas should have it. I should have put a guard on him then, (Isn't he supposed to be a great hand-to-hand fighter? How could a single guard have saved him from whatever terrorbeast took him?) but instead, I decided to send Ace out to look for help. One night Max disappeared. We've been looking for him ever since without success. Now I've lost my best man, and things are getting worse. Newer and stronger robotic death machines (Take a shot everytime he says "death machine".) are appearing all the time. If we don't find Max soon, even a fortress like this may not be able to hold out against the death machines. Go see Charmaine (Charlemagne?) in the Mushroom Church. Tell her I sent you and she may be able to help."
You nod your head. '"Yeah. We've tangled with some of these death machines before, (I hope you don't have a family history of liver disease.) and we gotta stop whoever's making them. Any clues?"
"there are two other power groups here in Vegas that we know of. Fat Freddy runs the criminal element. He'd like to take over my position. There's also the Servants of the Mushroom Cloud - religious fanatics who won't be happy until every person in Vegas has been converted to their own poisonous religion. There may be others. Vegas is a big town. But those are the ones we suspect most. I need you to go find Max. What do you say? Will you do it?"
The Desert Rangers huddle for a few minutes. You decide that to go for it. Besides, your curiosity has been aroused. You are sure that Max kows a lot more than he has told Brygo. If you want explanations, he's the man you'll need to see. "All right," you tell the Boss, (The Boss?) "we'll find him if he's findable. In the meantime, you try to hold out here." The Big Boss stands up, shakes your hands, and wishes you all luck. Then he shows you the way out."
I'm tempted to end the update here considering how much exposition we just went through, but the show must go on.
(http://i.imgur.com/Tt7MIcw.png)
This blue lincoln log is the Vegas jail. I'm sure something interesting is in here.
(http://i.imgur.com/XJt6VPk.png)
A vault, eh? Do what you do, Yoink.
(http://i.imgur.com/5zSPuSl.png)
"You get it open, but an alarm goes off and alerts some guards. No one but Freddy is supposed to enter that room." Freddy can get fucked, this is our vault now."
The obvious traps it turns out are traps and do some unimpressive damage to us. You know what else is unimpressive? This lootbag. It's all stuff we've got before so I'm not even going to bother listing its contents. Back to exploration it is.
(http://i.imgur.com/4nJBHRg.png)
Here are those guards that it mentioned, by the way. They sorta look like King of Chicago characters except significantly less misshapen.
After a bit of wondering around in the bunkrooms I finally find something: a journal.
"The binding threatens to splinter apart as you take the book in your hands. The pages have warped into stiff yellow curves through contact with liquids. Some pages at the beginning have been torn out. Where the writing begins, it is a crude scrawl, (Is it the Black Scrawl?) with some letters written backwards. (The writer must've been Russian.) Deciphering it is no easy task. Luckily it is fairly short, so you persevere.
"The Secrits of Las Vegas. My name is Dave Dawkins. I found this old empty book, and I'm going to rite down all my secrits case I fiegit them.
I'm a gard for Fat Freddy. He is #2 is Vegas and he wants to be #1. There is a big reward for anywun who can kill Faran Brygo, the BigBess Bass. Brygo stays hidden most of the time. My hare is starting to fall out. I wunner if its bucuz I joind the Servants of the Mushrum Cloud. It gives me a good feelin to be with my new frends in the Temple. They tole me the secrit password. It is 3 letters - NRC. Nurk! A lot of the Servants are bald. Maybe I will be 2.
Later there has bin a lot of fitin. (Eat more fitin.) I try to hide, but ware is it safe? Robot Deth Masheens (For fucks sake, get a new name for them already!) are the wurst. Ar guns don't always kill them sukkers. Freddy sez we need better wepuns and thats why we gotta find this Max guy. I dint say nothin. Im afraid to tell him that the Servants sa.v Max is kapchurd by the Siborgs.
IamlookinatmywordsinthisisokandIamproud. IdintnoIcudriteso good till I tride it. I will rite again later."
Here the writing breaks off. From what you know of the Vegas situation, the diary can't be more than a week or two old, but Dave apparently didn't come back." That, or we just murdered him. That would be silly though, we only kill bad people.
(http://i.imgur.com/pvIPMV6.png)
A dude in a cell, I wonder if he will become a Ranger.
"The door is marked "Danger! Prisoners within!" There are two buttons marked:
Open
Close
I live an open door lifestyle.
"The concrete slab slowly descends into the floor and opens the cell." Who the hell uses concrete for cell doors? Is there an uberman in here?
No, "It's Covenant! (Where's his ark?) He has been captured by Fat Freddy."
Oh boy, picklocking time! I hope your excited because I know I am.
(http://i.imgur.com/lGxEbe0.png)
"You did it. You freed him!"
(http://i.imgur.com/12OwK54.png)
Your a ranger now, dude. Ah shit, I accidentally selected attack. Fuck my life.
(http://i.imgur.com/lGxEbe0.png)
"Whew, I didn't think I'd ever get out of that one! Thanks!" We could tell him that he's really dead, but let's leave him in his fantasy world.
(http://i.imgur.com/CDsOX5n.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/VqVQLf9.png)
He's a Grenadier MAJOR, you know, kinda a big deal. He's such a big deal that I think Fat Freddy needs to answer for his kidnapping!
(http://i.imgur.com/32C5Y7a.png)
"Fat Freddy's thugs burst out of the building and attack!"
(http://i.imgur.com/Jn2He2z.png)
Rest easy, rest forever, sweet Guncorner-men.
Damn, 456 bucks and a grenade? If they wanted to hide Fat Freddy's fortune, maybe they shouldn't have attacked us. Whatever, time to purge a crime syndicate out of existence.
"Entering Fat Freddy's Place where even low rollers can have a ball." The local skater population really did need a place of its own.
(http://i.imgur.com/I1Xk0aB.png)
What's with all the jukeboxes? Where's the crime at?
(http://i.imgur.com/NwmMIQE.png)
"Do you want to play roulette at $50 a try?"
No, I want to play Flight of the Valkyries with your tibia. Where the hell is the crime?
He gives us no answer, damn vaguely Italian criminals.
(http://i.imgur.com/L8eo8m9.png)
That looks like the Crime Room to me, so to there we go.
"The office door is heavy, oak, and closed. When you knock, a voice yells, "What's the word?"
Grab the TNT Yoink.
"When you give the wrong password, a panel in the door opens and a boxing glove attached to a spring punches you in the nose, and retracts back into the door."
Now it's self-defense, thanks. Also, get the TNT already Yoink! Stop stalling!
It doesn't work, it doesn't work! What is this door made of? Friggin' plot-wood is what!
NRC? Do you like that? Is NRC your thing? It better be.
No? Your just making your inevitable death more painful. We'll be back.
(http://i.imgur.com/lGxEbe0.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/H6WE7v8.png)
"Deep in the gloom you see an old beggar sitting in a pile of rags."
Yep, the developers hid a useful beggar in one of these generic houses. Of course they did.
"Arms for the poor!" The old wretch whines. "Food, money, bullets, anything you can spare!"
Just take some change and tell me about Fat Freddy.
"The old beggar crumples the bills in his fist and stashes them away in his robe. "Thanks," he smirks."
"Fat Freddy can always be found at his club over at Vegas and Center. You should never say no to him. he gets very upset. Rumor has it that Bird is the word."
That's all we need to know, back to the club.
"What's the password?"
Bird, what else?
"The door swings open. An incredibly fat man is waiting to greet you."
"You are standing face to face with Fat Freddy.
Would you like to:
Chat
Attack
or
Apologize & leave."
What kind of choice is this? I said purge didn't I? We're going to purge this place of him and all that follow him, that's my answer.
"Combat flares. (So a flamethrower?) Freddy's henchmen go for their guns, and may the Cloud help anyone who gets in their way!"
(http://i.imgur.com/G4aSTza.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Jn2He2z.png)
"Get 'em!"
(http://i.imgur.com/nYJmPXy.png)
Their all in the same tile, welp, get the grenades Yoink.
The table sustains some of the damage and it ends up taking three grenades to get all of them. Friggin' plot-wood.
Freddy himself has some terrible guns and cash on him, what a crime boss. Should probably radio in that we killed him though, even if he was sub-Ugly.
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/oq9n2d5.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Q0FHFny.png)
So ends this update.
We return to the corridor of dark and eerie. Why is it eerie and dark, I do not know for sure but it is probably because it leads to...
(http://i.imgur.com/MyZjigd.png)
...here.
"Do you want to see Mr. Brygo?"
Yes? No real reason not to.
"Who sent you?"
Crumb, the manager.
"Enter. Mr. Brygo has been expecting you."
"The door shuts behind you. You see Faran Brygo sitting at his desk with two huge body guards nearby."
"Faran Brygo's office is modest, yet clean and pleasant. Two guards, one tall, blond and stern looking, the other shorter and stockier, flank the desk. Brygo, a dark, handsome (citation needed) man, smiles at you. "I understand you want to speak to me, gentlemen?"
So, uhh, what are we supposed to do?
"Once the introductions have been made, the Big Boss (Where's his eyepatch?) pulls out a box of cigars and passes them around, explaining that it is his special blend, grown somewhere further north. When everyone is comfortable, and the bodyguards have taken up unobtrusive positions behind you, he begins to talk.
"You must be the Rangers sent to help."
"What do you mean?" you cautiously ask. (He means we've been sent to help!)
"One of my
"When we began to hear rumors of death machines coming out of the west, and especially when the first of them reached the Vegas borders several weeks ago, Max grew frantic. he began to talk crazy, about how all life was in peril, and how only he could save us. He said he needed special equipment, and that someone near Vegas should have it. I should have put a guard on him then, (Isn't he supposed to be a great hand-to-hand fighter? How could a single guard have saved him from whatever terrorbeast took him?) but instead, I decided to send Ace out to look for help. One night Max disappeared. We've been looking for him ever since without success. Now I've lost my best man, and things are getting worse. Newer and stronger robotic death machines (Take a shot everytime he says "death machine".) are appearing all the time. If we don't find Max soon, even a fortress like this may not be able to hold out against the death machines. Go see Charmaine (Charlemagne?) in the Mushroom Church. Tell her I sent you and she may be able to help."
You nod your head. '"Yeah. We've tangled with some of these death machines before, (I hope you don't have a family history of liver disease.) and we gotta stop whoever's making them. Any clues?"
"there are two other power groups here in Vegas that we know of. Fat Freddy runs the criminal element. He'd like to take over my position. There's also the Servants of the Mushroom Cloud - religious fanatics who won't be happy until every person in Vegas has been converted to their own poisonous religion. There may be others. Vegas is a big town. But those are the ones we suspect most. I need you to go find Max. What do you say? Will you do it?"
The Desert Rangers huddle for a few minutes. You decide that to go for it. Besides, your curiosity has been aroused. You are sure that Max kows a lot more than he has told Brygo. If you want explanations, he's the man you'll need to see. "All right," you tell the Boss, (The Boss?) "we'll find him if he's findable. In the meantime, you try to hold out here." The Big Boss stands up, shakes your hands, and wishes you all luck. Then he shows you the way out."
I'm tempted to end the update here considering how much exposition we just went through, but the show must go on.
(http://i.imgur.com/Tt7MIcw.png)
This blue lincoln log is the Vegas jail. I'm sure something interesting is in here.
(http://i.imgur.com/XJt6VPk.png)
A vault, eh? Do what you do, Yoink.
(http://i.imgur.com/5zSPuSl.png)
"You get it open, but an alarm goes off and alerts some guards. No one but Freddy is supposed to enter that room." Freddy can get fucked, this is our vault now."
The obvious traps it turns out are traps and do some unimpressive damage to us. You know what else is unimpressive? This lootbag. It's all stuff we've got before so I'm not even going to bother listing its contents. Back to exploration it is.
(http://i.imgur.com/4nJBHRg.png)
Here are those guards that it mentioned, by the way. They sorta look like King of Chicago characters except significantly less misshapen.
After a bit of wondering around in the bunkrooms I finally find something: a journal.
"The binding threatens to splinter apart as you take the book in your hands. The pages have warped into stiff yellow curves through contact with liquids. Some pages at the beginning have been torn out. Where the writing begins, it is a crude scrawl, (Is it the Black Scrawl?) with some letters written backwards. (The writer must've been Russian.) Deciphering it is no easy task. Luckily it is fairly short, so you persevere.
"The Secrits of Las Vegas. My name is Dave Dawkins. I found this old empty book, and I'm going to rite down all my secrits case I fiegit them.
I'm a gard for Fat Freddy. He is #2 is Vegas and he wants to be #1. There is a big reward for anywun who can kill Faran Brygo, the Big
Later there has bin a lot of fitin. (Eat more fitin.) I try to hide, but ware is it safe? Robot Deth Masheens (For fucks sake, get a new name for them already!) are the wurst. Ar guns don't always kill them sukkers. Freddy sez we need better wepuns and thats why we gotta find this Max guy. I dint say nothin. Im afraid to tell him that the Servants sa.v Max is kapchurd by the Siborgs.
IamlookinatmywordsinthisisokandIamproud. IdintnoIcudriteso good till I tride it. I will rite again later."
Here the writing breaks off. From what you know of the Vegas situation, the diary can't be more than a week or two old, but Dave apparently didn't come back." That, or we just murdered him. That would be silly though, we only kill bad people.
(http://i.imgur.com/pvIPMV6.png)
A dude in a cell, I wonder if he will become a Ranger.
"The door is marked "Danger! Prisoners within!" There are two buttons marked:
Open
Close
I live an open door lifestyle.
"The concrete slab slowly descends into the floor and opens the cell." Who the hell uses concrete for cell doors? Is there an uberman in here?
No, "It's Covenant! (Where's his ark?) He has been captured by Fat Freddy."
Oh boy, picklocking time! I hope your excited because I know I am.
(http://i.imgur.com/lGxEbe0.png)
"You did it. You freed him!"
(http://i.imgur.com/12OwK54.png)
Your a ranger now, dude. Ah shit, I accidentally selected attack. Fuck my life.
(http://i.imgur.com/lGxEbe0.png)
"Whew, I didn't think I'd ever get out of that one! Thanks!" We could tell him that he's really dead, but let's leave him in his fantasy world.
(http://i.imgur.com/CDsOX5n.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/VqVQLf9.png)
He's a Grenadier MAJOR, you know, kinda a big deal. He's such a big deal that I think Fat Freddy needs to answer for his kidnapping!
(http://i.imgur.com/32C5Y7a.png)
"Fat Freddy's thugs burst out of the building and attack!"
(http://i.imgur.com/Jn2He2z.png)
Rest easy, rest forever, sweet Guncorner-men.
Damn, 456 bucks and a grenade? If they wanted to hide Fat Freddy's fortune, maybe they shouldn't have attacked us. Whatever, time to purge a crime syndicate out of existence.
"Entering Fat Freddy's Place where even low rollers can have a ball." The local skater population really did need a place of its own.
(http://i.imgur.com/I1Xk0aB.png)
What's with all the jukeboxes? Where's the crime at?
(http://i.imgur.com/NwmMIQE.png)
"Do you want to play roulette at $50 a try?"
No, I want to play Flight of the Valkyries with your tibia. Where the hell is the crime?
He gives us no answer, damn vaguely Italian criminals.
(http://i.imgur.com/L8eo8m9.png)
That looks like the Crime Room to me, so to there we go.
"The office door is heavy, oak, and closed. When you knock, a voice yells, "What's the word?"
Grab the TNT Yoink.
"When you give the wrong password, a panel in the door opens and a boxing glove attached to a spring punches you in the nose, and retracts back into the door."
Now it's self-defense, thanks. Also, get the TNT already Yoink! Stop stalling!
It doesn't work, it doesn't work! What is this door made of? Friggin' plot-wood is what!
NRC? Do you like that? Is NRC your thing? It better be.
No? Your just making your inevitable death more painful. We'll be back.
(http://i.imgur.com/lGxEbe0.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/H6WE7v8.png)
"Deep in the gloom you see an old beggar sitting in a pile of rags."
Yep, the developers hid a useful beggar in one of these generic houses. Of course they did.
"Arms for the poor!" The old wretch whines. "Food, money, bullets, anything you can spare!"
Just take some change and tell me about Fat Freddy.
"The old beggar crumples the bills in his fist and stashes them away in his robe. "Thanks," he smirks."
"Fat Freddy can always be found at his club over at Vegas and Center. You should never say no to him. he gets very upset. Rumor has it that Bird is the word."
That's all we need to know, back to the club.
"What's the password?"
Bird, what else?
"The door swings open. An incredibly fat man is waiting to greet you."
"You are standing face to face with Fat Freddy.
Would you like to:
Chat
Attack
or
Apologize & leave."
What kind of choice is this? I said purge didn't I? We're going to purge this place of him and all that follow him, that's my answer.
"Combat flares. (So a flamethrower?) Freddy's henchmen go for their guns, and may the Cloud help anyone who gets in their way!"
(http://i.imgur.com/G4aSTza.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Jn2He2z.png)
"Get 'em!"
(http://i.imgur.com/nYJmPXy.png)
Their all in the same tile, welp, get the grenades Yoink.
The table sustains some of the damage and it ends up taking three grenades to get all of them. Friggin' plot-wood.
Freddy himself has some terrible guns and cash on him, what a crime boss. Should probably radio in that we killed him though, even if he was sub-Ugly.
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/oq9n2d5.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Q0FHFny.png)
So ends this update.
Yes, the Brygo talk was just as much of an unreadable eyesore for me as it was for you. There's a reason why I wanted to end the update after transcribing it.
Post by: A Thing on July 04, 2016, 11:59:25 pm
Spoiler: Who watches the Watchers? (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/c9qVqtg.png)
I'm sure there are other logos I can use but this one is on the main menu and that's what matters. Also, yes, this game takes place in Fantasy America. Clearly you weren't paying attention when you played it.
(http://i.imgur.com/22DhBIq.png)
Easy, Normal, and Hard should be self-explanatory. Expert mode removes "helper features" and Trial of Iron deletes your save when you die. I think it safe to say that neither of those things appeal to me, so we won't be playing with them on. These aren't the only difficulty settings, just the only ones the game forces you to select; the rest are in the options menu.
I bothered to record and upload the intro and character creation and you can watch it here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkX8gzZFlL0).
If you can't do that for whatever reason, the summary is as follows: we're coming to Fantasy America on a caravan, we got sick, the caravan stopped because we're sick, and we're playing a dwarven merchant Barbarian.
(http://i.imgur.com/BFda7rn.jpg)
"The caravan master finishes addressing the group, his bushy red mustache and sagging jowls quivering as if for emphasis." Lay off the Super-Turbo, old man.
"Everybody stays close to the wagons, got it? (No, FREEDOM only understands FREEDOM.) Stay outta thepantry woods, and Beasts take you if you were planning a stroll through those ruins up there." He nods toward a looming black mass on the hillside."
"Whole area's crawling with hut-dwelling types who'd be happy to stick an axe in you for trespassing. So mind that you don't track mud on their sacred blazing rocks." Where's Andrew Jackson when you need him?
"Tonight everybody stays put and in the morning we'll get the path cleared. Gilded Vale's less than a day out. Understood?"
"At last, the caravan master turns to you, frowning as he looks you over."
"Touch of the Rumbling Rot, could be. There's a stinging beetle 'round here, carries it. You'll be fine once it passes your innards. 'Less you don't drink water, course, which case you'll be dead in a day." And if you drink the water, well...
"There's a berry grows in these parts, small and pink. Called a springberry. (Sounds creatively bankrupt enough to be an Aedyran name.) 'Bout the size of a fingernail. Give you cramps if you eat it, but the frontiersmen make a tea from it, calms the insides. Should get you through the night. You might check around, see if you can find some. Meanwhile I'll see if we can scare you up some water." Using fear tactics to obtain resources is unethical and unpatriotic, you dirty fascist.
"Odema looks over his shoulder at his assistant, a lanky, intense man named Sparfel, who carries an old sun-bleached bow." No good guy is named "Sparfel."
"I know you wanna hunt before it gets much darker, but see about refilling our water first. Got a sick one here." He nods in your direction."
"Sparfel nods and slides the warn bow over his shoulder."
We can ask a lot of questions here, but only two really matter.
"What are those ruins?"
"Nothing you won't see on half the hills of Eir Glanfath. (Elven plastic knick-knacks.) Money to be made selling their knickknacks inWaterdeep Defiance Bay, if you don't mind getting stuck with Glanfathan arrows now and again. They didn't build 'em but I'll be the Effigy if they don't watch 'em like a mother bear."
"Course all the ones 'round here been ransacked ten times over, got nothing left worth half a pand."
"He adds, with a wink, "So I hear." I cannot imagine how resting near a sacred ruin will cause problems, nope, sounds fine.
"Who DID build the ruins?" Might as well ask this since it is sorta important.
"Odema shrugs. "Got different names for 'em. Settlers call 'em Engwithans."
"Nobody that liked them enough to stop them becoming ruins, tell you that much." What did Engwith ever do for us anyway?
"What are these huge rocks coming up out of the ground?" These huge pillars are so... eternal.
"Odema frowns. "They don't got adra where you come from?"
"Well, it just grows up outta the ground like this. Goes deep, like tree roots. Some of it all the way to the heart of the world, you believe the stories." That's how it's written by the way. Maybe he has a really inefficient version of short-hand or something.
"It's more like a shell than a proper rock. Easier to work, if you're a mason."
"Got all kinds of strange properties. Seems to have some kind of life of its own. Dies if it gets dug up. Loses its luster. Folks think it probably grew at one point or another, but not these days."
"The soul butchers in Defiance Bay use it for different things. I've heard tell it can hold a man's soul, but I don't care to see it. Got enough to worry about without seeing something like that." This is the only time adra is explained in the game from what I've played so far, bit strange since it is everywhere, but at least it isn't repetitive.
That's it for questions, off we go. Unless...
"Hold on. Take someone with you. I know you're not some helpless tenderfoot - not like most of this lot. (I can see the protagonist gleam in your eyes.) But you drop dead I don't wanna be looking for the body. Got a schedule to keep."
"He scans over the travelers, resting his eyes at length on a sturdy, armor-clad woman who has spent the journey's nights sleeping on uneven ground without blanket or pillow." Apparently that is an important observation? I suppose that's real hardcore or something.
"Calisca. Calisca!"
"The woman looks up on her own time." That is, our time. We are the hero of this world after all.
"He needs to find some springberries. Watch that he doesn't drop dead."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "No promises." You know she's a serious adventurer because of her constant forlorn expression.
"What kind of guide says something like that?" The kind that doesn't live past the prologue.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Kind you can afford." The kind Obsidian can afford to kill off. Spumblers for the prologue. I know, how scandalous.
"Odema chuckles and shakes his head. He looks at you. "Don't listen to her. You're in good hands." I might be sick, but I'm not THAT type of sick.
"He casts a sidelong glance at her. "And I pay too well if anything." Too much information, dude.
"Odema's small grin recedes beneath his mustache, and his stern once more."
"Off with you. Heodan should have supplies. See that you're equipped before you head out. We're in harsh country."
"Get your berries and hurry back. And if you get so much as a tickle of wind, you drop everything an you run. Something in the air tonight. If it's a biawac (http://i.imgur.com/iUOLhmH.png), we'll shelter in the ruins, hut-dwellers be damned." A veritable ejaculation of foreshadowing, what fun.
(http://i.imgur.com/EVxyg4G.png)
And so the game starts. If you ever played an Infinity Engine RPG or Arcanum, you should be able to understand what's going on here. If not, go play them you uncultured mongrel. IE I would explain what's going on, but this isn't a real LP.
(http://i.imgur.com/wQozM1H.png)
I would talk to Heodan anyway, but this starting equipment makes talking to him required. Who the hell thought duel-wielding with a spear was a good idea?
(http://i.imgur.com/RB1044Y.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Anyone need supplies? I've got sundries for sale."
"You see a man wearing simple but mostly neat clothes. (I fail to see why simple=unclean.) He's transfixed, however, by a ragged tear in the seam of his tunic."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "He shakes his head and laughs when he notices you. "Brought a whole wagon full of goods to sell but not enough shirts for the road." Don't worry, the wet t-shirt contest drained the supplies of even the most prepared.
"He scratches one cheek with his knuckles. It's covered with uneven stubble, as if he hasn't quite used to shaving on the road." Or maybe he's just using a duel-wielded spear to shave.
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Say, is there anything you need? I've got some basic traveling supplies for sale if you'd like to take a look."
I wish I didn't have to ask this, but it has some basic setting information if I remember correctly. "Who are you?"
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "I'm a trader. Originally from the Aedyr (British) Empire, but I've been trying to establish new business out here."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "He looks at his wagon and grins ruefully. "Life on the road has brought some unexpected challenges, to be sure. And I'm sure you've noticed how prickly the locals can be. (Only if your royalist scum.) But we're here to make the most of things, right?"
We get four options here, each of which raises our personality bits. From my experience only Benevolent\Cruel and maybe honest matter. The rest might as well not exist.
"How incredibly naive. I'm surprised you've lasted this long."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "He folds his arms and surveys the wagon. "Then I suppose I should be counting my blessings."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Something else you need? Looks like we're settled for the night."
"Tell me about the Aedyr Empire." Long ago in a place called Aedyr, these things happened...
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "It's not as big as it used to be, but it's still big. The mainland is a continent northwest of here, but the colonies used to include Readceras and the Dyrwood." IE Fantasy Canada and Fantasy America. There was even a war between the two and Dyrwood got fucked!
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "About one hundred fifty years ago, Dyrwood won its independence from the empire, a fact our companions are quick to remind me of." He gives you a lopsided grin and nodes at the other scattered caravanners." You might want me to talk to you further, however I think we can do better things with our time, like participating in the all-American sport of shopping.
(http://i.imgur.com/MQd5IgF.png)
Off we go, to adventure!
(http://i.imgur.com/Px7Ve8h.png)
"I'll have your water soon enough. Stream's not going anywhere." Sparfel the Swift, Sparfel the Diligent.
(http://i.imgur.com/PxlM0j3.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/PKNki4p.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Travelers, maybe. Or looters. Or bandits. Bad sign any way you figure it."
"The corpse is cold to the touch ([Insert necrophilia joke here]) and a ripe smell wafts from it in putrid waves. A dark, crusted bloodstain besmirches its simple linen clothing."
Spooky, but not spooky enough to stop me from looting their corpses of all valuables.
(http://i.imgur.com/h7YWqDa.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Let's check by those outcroppings."
An outcropping that just so happens to be inhabited by a Young Wolf. Farewell Fenris. Combat in this game is pretty basic from a melee standpoint, just click and kill. There are some abilities and such, but as I said before, this ain't no real LP and I'm not detailing all of this junk.
(http://i.imgur.com/I3TREcB.png)
Regardless, the wolf is dead and we now have access to the holy springberries.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) [Merchant] "Odema said something about you being in business for yourself." Create thine backstory, player.
"I piloted cargo ships." Most of America's economy depends on the sea trade after all.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Yeah? How is it you happened to come here?" Vague response so as to make every answer adequate.
"Had a big fight with my superiors about the way the ship was being run. They got rid of me." Woo, rebellion!
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "That's a damnable run of luck. (I'm so unlucky that I willfully ruined my career.) Maybe the new setting will turn things around for you."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png)"Calisca breathes in her surroundings. "Been a long time since I've been this way. But I always did like it."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Lord Raedric's offer... makes a girl think, I'll give him that. You here to settle, like the rest of the lot."
"It's a hard offer to pass up." A bit of dysentery is nothing compared to some free land.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "You won't find many offers like it in these parts, believe me. Got some big plan in store?"
"Getting filthy rich." The Dyrwoodan dream, baby!
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Ah, a man after my own heart. May your luck be better than mine."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Anyway, I'm wasting time here. Odema'll give me an earful. Let's be on our way."
"What can you tell me about Dyrwood?"
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "I'm not much for history, but from what I know, it used to be part of the Aedyr Empire. Broke off after a war some years back. The locals here are feisty and that's how they like it."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "I've been out of touch, but I've been hearing weird kinds of things about it lately. People having trouble giving birth, I guess. A lot of them. Been going on for years, now. But somehow it's getting worse." A whole country having trouble giving birth sounds a bit concerning. A bit.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "With an uneasy tremor in her voice, she adds, "I'll have to ask my sister more about it." You might be baiting me into asking you about your sister but I'm not going to do it!
"All right, let's get back to camp."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "You know, I wouldn't hold my breath that Sparfel's getting your water any time soon. He does what he feels like, when he feels like it. We should check up on him first. Slap him around a little." Woah now, I didn't sign up for that type of work.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Stream's just down that way. Come on. Let's get you your water." Sparfel the Loyal, Sparfel the Dutiful! Also, it is hour 26 right now. That's a thing. I don't think it is ever mentioned in-game but it sure is funky.
(http://i.imgur.com/BbqP9R7.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "What a surprise, Sparfel went hunting. Least he left the waterskins. C'mon."
(http://i.imgur.com/iy9XFQ3.png)
"You crouch at the riverbank, and dip your waterskin into cool water while Calisca waits nearby, keeping watch. (So bashful.) As you rise, you notice her look up sharply towards the treeline."
Oh, I bet it's just that cooky Sparfel up to his old tricks.
(http://i.imgur.com/05X0DKh.png)
"Out of the trees emerges Sparfel, (Sparfel the Sneaky, Sparfel the Scout!) one of the guides, barely discernible in the dim moonlight. He no longer carries his bow, and there is a strangeness to his gait, his stride wobbly as he moves toward you with labored breath." Aww, Sparfel has a crush.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Calisca frowns. "Sparfel? Are you all right?"
He just wants your attent- Oh, oh, welp.
(http://i.imgur.com/7KZt9yA.png)
"Sparfel's toe catches on a rock, and he collapses forward in a heap, the feathered shaft of an arrow planted between his shoulders like an enemy flag." Sparfel the Corpse, Sparfel the Dishonored!
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Ambush!"
(http://i.imgur.com/wM7ccj6.png)
So, uhh, yeah... about those Glanfathans...
...they're all dead now.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Come on! We have to get back to camp!"
(http://i.imgur.com/kUYXzsu.jpg)
"All around you lie the massacred remains of the other travelers, peppered with arrows and knife hilts, splayed and bug-eyed and filthy." Splayed and bug-eyed and filthy and stupid!
"Calisca puts the back of her left hand to her mouth as if to ward away some poisonous vapor." Isn't that the hand she holds her torch in? Sounds like a bad idea.
"A handful of dark figures stands (sic) above the fallen, treading on limbs and backs and heads, jerking their axes from bodies as if from half-split logs."
"One of them, towering and severe (and handsome?) with a thick beard tasseled with knots, holds a wet blade at the neck of the man you recognize as Heodan, the last of your caravan left standing."
"Lay down your arms, trespasser. Do not forfeit this man's life for a fight you will lose."
[Lore 1] "The ruin has not been sullied by our hands, men of Eir Glanfath." Fucking Men of Westernesse always screwing around.
"Your words carry no weight when I have seen the truth with my own eyes. Blood must be paid for this intrusion." That's anecdotal evidence! It doesn't count!
"So I say again. Lay down your arms."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Don't trust them, they mean to kill us all!" Maybe they just don't like your inbred features, Heodan. It's a real possibility you know.
[Might 14] "Only a fool attacks a weak enemy while a stronger one yet lives."
"The man considers this, looking you up and down. "Hmmph. Yet."
"He shoves Heodan toward you. As he does so, the man rakes his blade against Heodan's torso. Heodan screams and stumbles forward, a wide gash in his clothing beginning to bloom crimson."
"The man sets his feet to engage you, his axe raised high."
(http://i.imgur.com/vobLuyn.png)
Battle is done, battle is won.
"Your enemy lies supine on the ground, unable to rise, his companions now silent among the other dead. His breath comes in wheezing, fitful gasps. He looks not at you, but at the sky above you."
"Forgive us."
"Barely audible beneath his choked sighs, a whisper of wind stirs the air."
"At this, the man's eyes roll back as he closes them. "Good. Good. The gods are just."
"A queer smile crosses his face. "I am ready." I wonder if this is a biawac... nah, that would be too convenient.
(http://i.imgur.com/2Q2Zrae.jpg)
"The wind begins to swell, whipping around the camp, electric and volatile, upending pots and rattling tents like an angry spirit."
"You can feel it begin to seep beneath your skin, and where it pierces you it feels as though it is rending you apart from within."
(http://i.imgur.com/5MYbKSr.png)
"Seated against a wagon wheel amidst the howling maelstrom, slashed across chest and bowel, Odema's body stirs, and with great effort he raises his sagging head, his eyes barely open. He looks directly at you."
"Get inside. RUN!"
(http://i.imgur.com/I0E8DTq.jpg)
I think I can understand his problem with biawacs now.
(http://i.imgur.com/w2OgUg5.png)
"Straining against a gale that threatens to pull you off your feet with every step, you set your hands in the worn folds of weathered rock and set about pulling yourself up the precipice."
"With a last burst of energy before your arms give out, you swing yourself up onto the ledge."
"Heodan trails behind, slowed by injury and delayed by early hesitation."
(http://i.imgur.com/Yt7048P.png)
"As he nears the face of the rocks, one of the fallen attackers, who had been feigning death, lunges for Heodan and topples him onto the rocky ground." It's almost as if the gods want him to die or something.
"Restrained, Heodan lashes out against his fatigued assailant, but struggles to break his hold."
(http://i.imgur.com/Dgj4iNL.png)
"They are close to you. Despite the wind, from your position, if your were to throw your weapon at the attacker, you would have a good chance of hitting your mark." Hmm, i guess 20 Might allows us to throw great swords proficiently. If we didn't have over 15 dexterity, of course.
[Dexterity 15] "Grab a rock and hurl it at the attacker."
(http://i.imgur.com/DPfo1Vg.png)
"Your aim is true, and the hit jars Heodan loose." (Also you made a rock into a javelin, that's neat I guess.)
"Lurching to his feet, Heodan clambers up the base of the rocks. As he nears the top, however, the wind flares, pulling him sideways and tearing one of his hands free." Heodan is close to becoming worse than Sparfel.
(http://i.imgur.com/10rDCaH.png)
"But diving out onto the hard rock, you manage to catch hold of it. Securing his other hand, you pull with waning strength, and it feels as though your arms will be jerked from their sockets. They hold just long enough for Heodan to set his feet and join you on the trembling ledge."
"There is a deep resonance to the swelling wind now. You feel it in the rocks beneath your feet and inside the cavity of your own chest, as though it would shake the marrow from your bones." Who forgot to feed the biawac?
(http://i.imgur.com/O6aruQY.png)
"Each new gust menaces the old stones before you, loosening connections, unsettling balances. As you dart beneath the old archway, the entire portal begins to fall beneath its own weight." Looks like the Glanfathans were load-bearing.
(http://i.imgur.com/4xmgeNQ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Was that- ?"
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Heodan's words come between wheezing gasps. "A biawac. Had to be."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Then we're lucky to be alive." Alive... for now!
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "And we're the only ones."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "We can't stay here. There could be another collapse. We're not getting out that way, anyway. Let's get further inside."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "She eyes the ragged slash across Heodan's belly. "Can you walk?"
"Heodan's jaw tightens. He nods."
Alright, there is a bunch of stuff to see here, but I gotta finish this before it turns over to July 5th. Prepare for Pillars of Perpetuity: Fast Mode.
(http://i.imgur.com/xYjsp17.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Heodan's chest rises and falls visibly with each breath. "That should be far enough. But what now?" Heodan, did you not hear what I just said?
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "We look for another way out. Storm has to die sometime." We could ask all sorts of things, but like I said: fast mode.
"Let's get going."
"Heodan takes a step forward and his knee buckles, and before anyone can catch him he stumbles to the ground, his cheek striking the timeworn cobbles."
"On unsteady legs, he claws his way up the wall and back to his feet, but his stance is shaky, like a sailor walking on land after a time at sea."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Could- Could we maybe stay here and rest a few hours?" He nods at the gash across the midsection. "I've... lost some blood." He looks around. "Seems quiet off to the left. Might be a place to rest there." Despite the implications of his dialogue it doesn't matter where you rest. There are no random encounters in this game from what I've seen.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "I hate to say this, but we can't afford to stay put. (At least she gets it.) Those Glanfathans were riled about something. Could be we got company in here. Looters will be armed and ready to kill, and there's probably a lot of them. We can't be caught sleeping in their beds."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Pleasesir, it's only a pound!. I just need to lie down for a while. Then we can move as fast as you want." Funnily enough, I can easily get through this dungeon without fighting anything more dangerous than a giant spider so his concerns are kinda nullified.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Maybe you didn't HEAR ME. (CAPITAL LETTERS SIGNIFY IMPORTANCE!!!) We are going to DIE in here (Dishonor is death, true facts.) if we don't get moving and get this place figured out before the looters come back. We've either gotta find the exit, or a damn good place to hide."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Calisca's right. We have to press on. We don't know what we're up against." Well, most of us don't.
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Heodan looks like he's been struck. "I... I'll do my best."
Now, go, go, go!
(http://i.imgur.com/hMQ7pqn.jpg)
Puzzles! I don't have time for puzzles!
(http://i.imgur.com/iOZfjI1.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "That roundish symbol - I'm pretty sure I saw it on one of the tiles back there." HINT HINT
"A swirling symbol is inscribed on this pillar. An unlit brazier sits at its base. It could be lit, if you had the means." Fun fact, if you're a Fire Godlike you can use your hair to light this. Anyway, back to rushing through this extremely long RPG.
"Flames kindle swiftly in the brazier, winding their way upwards."
(http://i.imgur.com/VCdqC8B.jpg)
The solution is to light all of the brazier things. Not even in a specific order, just light all of them.
(http://i.imgur.com/N8NeR0B.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Feels like there's a draft coming through that wall. I don't hear any sigh of that storm, either."
(http://i.imgur.com/vVlAxLM.png)
Oh no, a spider. What will we ever do?
(http://i.imgur.com/R1aJ3li.png)
The dungeon has been successfully averted, back to exposition time.
(http://i.imgur.com/0POYtPg.jpg)
"Four figures stand before an otherworldly apparatus, an ancient structure of chiseled adra and metallic veins, ominous and looming like a silent observer."
"Standing motionless in their midst is what appears to be a human body, colorless as stone - or ash. The other figures gaze upon it in what might be contemplation. From your vantage point you are well obscured from their view." Ehh, it'll be fine. They'll use a stone to flesh scroll on him any moment now.
"The figure closest to the machine stands out among them. A thick gray beard frames a face otherwise hidden beneath a metallic mask."
"His faded robes are embroidered with a runic language unlike anything you have ever seen, and he wears a strange black headdress with two protrusions that jut out like the wings of some malevolent creature." Look, he might seem like a evil cultist when he's at work but I'm sure he's a really nice guy outside of his workplace.
(http://i.imgur.com/rT7Lux9.png) "He addresses the petrified body. "...Oathbinder bear witness and see this man has kept his word, true to his last breath, full to his blood's last drop. Guide his soul, Queen That Was, and regard it among your Favored. Let his life by the Key be his confession. Let his death by the Key be his absolution. Mayhe walk the world ever free of the crushing weight of the Book." Lord of the Flies is a pretty depressing book but I wouldn't describe it as "crushing".
(http://i.imgur.com/rT7Lux9.png) "The man passes his gaze over the others standing around him. "Your brother has done his part, and you have seen the power of his contribution. I will accept no further hesitation from the rest of you." He looks each in the eye in turn."
(http://i.imgur.com/rT7Lux9.png) "In the sight of the Queen That Was,do you take this man of ash as your lawful wedded husband? will you fulfill the oath? Will you take your place besides your brother in the endless esteem of Her memory that is without flaw? Step forth and be assured of the great worth of your life's course."
(http://i.imgur.com/vrnxkqJ.jpg)
Looks suspiciously like a biawac this ritual does. I smell conspiracy!
(http://i.imgur.com/1SxYdNQ.png)
"For an instant, the apparatus goes quiet and the air is still. Then, all at once, it erupts with a concussive surge. Light floods your vision, and you are knocked to the ground. Your head snaps back as you land, and pain wells into the back of your skull, washing your last thoughts away into the black unconscious void."
(http://i.imgur.com/FhLJauP.png)
"You open your eyes to a different place, another time. You stand in a circular room, grand and domed, its walls lined with adra and trimmed with copper. The style is ancient, but the chamber is unweathered." *cough*Past life*cough* What? I said nothing. You're hearing things.
"At the far end a great pillar of adra pierces the floor from below, its shimmering textures giving the illusion of boundless depth." One might even say... eternal depth.
"Encircling the pillar is an apparatus much like the one you have just seen, but immense and multifaceted and intertwined."
"Your thoughts are yours and not yours, and they seem to exist before you think them and they are all questions. Pressing questions, troubling questions. Questions that must be answered or... or..."
(http://i.imgur.com/X6qNtZn.png)
"At the base of the pillar now, you see a man with a thick gray beard in cermonial robe, crowned with a strange ornamental headdress."
"You know this man. You are walking towards him now at a pace that is hurried while trying not to appear so."
"You have something you want to ask him, one question above all, and the question spins madly in your mind." Something something where do babies come from?
"You awaken to find your malaise has broken, only to be replaced with something far more concerning. Faint whispers are audible at the edge of your hearing, like a ringing in your ears that does not subside."
"Movement flits through your periphery, but when you turn to look, you see no sign of whatever it was. You find your gaze regularly darting this way and that, an involuntary paranoid tic. If this is a sickness, it may be dangerous to go without treatment for long."
(http://i.imgur.com/yPHRFiV.jpg)
"The figures at the machine stand frozen in place, flesh and blood replaced by cinders and ash. The man who led them is nowhere to be seen."
(http://i.imgur.com/jFv1a28.png)
"Heodan and Calisca lie bloody on uneven cobbles, their bodies twisted unnaturally in death." Poor prologue companions, they can never get a break it seems.
"You are alone and far from help. Gilded Vale may be your best hope of receiving treatment before things get worse."
It's 11:55, gotta go faster! There's a forest area, but fuck it, let's get to Gilded Vale before it's too late!
(http://i.imgur.com/P9DusDF.jpg)
This place looks ominous, no wonder the lord is giving out free land! It was all a trap, much like this Independence Day special!
(http://i.imgur.com/5HygY4B.jpg)
Welp, I think that's a good place to end this on, don't you? I don't have the time regardless, farewell!
I'm sure there are other logos I can use but this one is on the main menu and that's what matters. Also, yes, this game takes place in Fantasy America. Clearly you weren't paying attention when you played it.
(http://i.imgur.com/22DhBIq.png)
Easy, Normal, and Hard should be self-explanatory. Expert mode removes "helper features" and Trial of Iron deletes your save when you die. I think it safe to say that neither of those things appeal to me, so we won't be playing with them on. These aren't the only difficulty settings, just the only ones the game forces you to select; the rest are in the options menu.
I bothered to record and upload the intro and character creation and you can watch it here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkX8gzZFlL0).
If you can't do that for whatever reason, the summary is as follows: we're coming to Fantasy America on a caravan, we got sick, the caravan stopped because we're sick, and we're playing a dwarven merchant Barbarian.
(http://i.imgur.com/BFda7rn.jpg)
"The caravan master finishes addressing the group, his bushy red mustache and sagging jowls quivering as if for emphasis." Lay off the Super-Turbo, old man.
"Everybody stays close to the wagons, got it? (No, FREEDOM only understands FREEDOM.) Stay outta the
"Whole area's crawling with hut-dwelling types who'd be happy to stick an axe in you for trespassing. So mind that you don't track mud on their sacred blazing rocks." Where's Andrew Jackson when you need him?
"Tonight everybody stays put and in the morning we'll get the path cleared. Gilded Vale's less than a day out. Understood?"
"At last, the caravan master turns to you, frowning as he looks you over."
"Touch of the Rumbling Rot, could be. There's a stinging beetle 'round here, carries it. You'll be fine once it passes your innards. 'Less you don't drink water, course, which case you'll be dead in a day." And if you drink the water, well...
"There's a berry grows in these parts, small and pink. Called a springberry. (Sounds creatively bankrupt enough to be an Aedyran name.) 'Bout the size of a fingernail. Give you cramps if you eat it, but the frontiersmen make a tea from it, calms the insides. Should get you through the night. You might check around, see if you can find some. Meanwhile I'll see if we can scare you up some water." Using fear tactics to obtain resources is unethical and unpatriotic, you dirty fascist.
"Odema looks over his shoulder at his assistant, a lanky, intense man named Sparfel, who carries an old sun-bleached bow." No good guy is named "Sparfel."
"I know you wanna hunt before it gets much darker, but see about refilling our water first. Got a sick one here." He nods in your direction."
"Sparfel nods and slides the warn bow over his shoulder."
We can ask a lot of questions here, but only two really matter.
"What are those ruins?"
"Nothing you won't see on half the hills of Eir Glanfath. (Elven plastic knick-knacks.) Money to be made selling their knickknacks in
"Course all the ones 'round here been ransacked ten times over, got nothing left worth half a pand."
"He adds, with a wink, "So I hear." I cannot imagine how resting near a sacred ruin will cause problems, nope, sounds fine.
"Who DID build the ruins?" Might as well ask this since it is sorta important.
"Odema shrugs. "Got different names for 'em. Settlers call 'em Engwithans."
"Nobody that liked them enough to stop them becoming ruins, tell you that much." What did Engwith ever do for us anyway?
"What are these huge rocks coming up out of the ground?" These huge pillars are so... eternal.
"Odema frowns. "They don't got adra where you come from?"
"Well, it just grows up outta the ground like this. Goes deep, like tree roots. Some of it all the way to the heart of the world, you believe the stories." That's how it's written by the way. Maybe he has a really inefficient version of short-hand or something.
"It's more like a shell than a proper rock. Easier to work, if you're a mason."
"Got all kinds of strange properties. Seems to have some kind of life of its own. Dies if it gets dug up. Loses its luster. Folks think it probably grew at one point or another, but not these days."
"The soul butchers in Defiance Bay use it for different things. I've heard tell it can hold a man's soul, but I don't care to see it. Got enough to worry about without seeing something like that." This is the only time adra is explained in the game from what I've played so far, bit strange since it is everywhere, but at least it isn't repetitive.
That's it for questions, off we go. Unless...
"Hold on. Take someone with you. I know you're not some helpless tenderfoot - not like most of this lot. (I can see the protagonist gleam in your eyes.) But you drop dead I don't wanna be looking for the body. Got a schedule to keep."
"He scans over the travelers, resting his eyes at length on a sturdy, armor-clad woman who has spent the journey's nights sleeping on uneven ground without blanket or pillow." Apparently that is an important observation? I suppose that's real hardcore or something.
"Calisca. Calisca!"
"The woman looks up on her own time." That is, our time. We are the hero of this world after all.
"He needs to find some springberries. Watch that he doesn't drop dead."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "No promises." You know she's a serious adventurer because of her constant forlorn expression.
"What kind of guide says something like that?" The kind that doesn't live past the prologue.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Kind you can afford." The kind Obsidian can afford to kill off. Spumblers for the prologue. I know, how scandalous.
"Odema chuckles and shakes his head. He looks at you. "Don't listen to her. You're in good hands." I might be sick, but I'm not THAT type of sick.
"He casts a sidelong glance at her. "And I pay too well if anything." Too much information, dude.
"Odema's small grin recedes beneath his mustache, and his stern once more."
"Off with you. Heodan should have supplies. See that you're equipped before you head out. We're in harsh country."
"Get your berries and hurry back. And if you get so much as a tickle of wind, you drop everything an you run. Something in the air tonight. If it's a biawac (http://i.imgur.com/iUOLhmH.png), we'll shelter in the ruins, hut-dwellers be damned." A veritable ejaculation of foreshadowing, what fun.
(http://i.imgur.com/EVxyg4G.png)
And so the game starts. If you ever played an Infinity Engine RPG or Arcanum, you should be able to understand what's going on here. If not, go play them you uncultured mongrel. IE I would explain what's going on, but this isn't a real LP.
(http://i.imgur.com/wQozM1H.png)
I would talk to Heodan anyway, but this starting equipment makes talking to him required. Who the hell thought duel-wielding with a spear was a good idea?
(http://i.imgur.com/RB1044Y.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Anyone need supplies? I've got sundries for sale."
"You see a man wearing simple but mostly neat clothes. (I fail to see why simple=unclean.) He's transfixed, however, by a ragged tear in the seam of his tunic."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "He shakes his head and laughs when he notices you. "Brought a whole wagon full of goods to sell but not enough shirts for the road." Don't worry, the wet t-shirt contest drained the supplies of even the most prepared.
"He scratches one cheek with his knuckles. It's covered with uneven stubble, as if he hasn't quite used to shaving on the road." Or maybe he's just using a duel-wielded spear to shave.
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Say, is there anything you need? I've got some basic traveling supplies for sale if you'd like to take a look."
I wish I didn't have to ask this, but it has some basic setting information if I remember correctly. "Who are you?"
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "I'm a trader. Originally from the Aedyr (British) Empire, but I've been trying to establish new business out here."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "He looks at his wagon and grins ruefully. "Life on the road has brought some unexpected challenges, to be sure. And I'm sure you've noticed how prickly the locals can be. (Only if your royalist scum.) But we're here to make the most of things, right?"
We get four options here, each of which raises our personality bits. From my experience only Benevolent\Cruel and maybe honest matter. The rest might as well not exist.
"How incredibly naive. I'm surprised you've lasted this long."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "He folds his arms and surveys the wagon. "Then I suppose I should be counting my blessings."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Something else you need? Looks like we're settled for the night."
"Tell me about the Aedyr Empire." Long ago in a place called Aedyr, these things happened...
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "It's not as big as it used to be, but it's still big. The mainland is a continent northwest of here, but the colonies used to include Readceras and the Dyrwood." IE Fantasy Canada and Fantasy America. There was even a war between the two and Dyrwood got fucked!
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "About one hundred fifty years ago, Dyrwood won its independence from the empire, a fact our companions are quick to remind me of." He gives you a lopsided grin and nodes at the other scattered caravanners." You might want me to talk to you further, however I think we can do better things with our time, like participating in the all-American sport of shopping.
(http://i.imgur.com/MQd5IgF.png)
Off we go, to adventure!
(http://i.imgur.com/Px7Ve8h.png)
"I'll have your water soon enough. Stream's not going anywhere." Sparfel the Swift, Sparfel the Diligent.
(http://i.imgur.com/PxlM0j3.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/PKNki4p.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Travelers, maybe. Or looters. Or bandits. Bad sign any way you figure it."
"The corpse is cold to the touch ([Insert necrophilia joke here]) and a ripe smell wafts from it in putrid waves. A dark, crusted bloodstain besmirches its simple linen clothing."
Spooky, but not spooky enough to stop me from looting their corpses of all valuables.
(http://i.imgur.com/h7YWqDa.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Let's check by those outcroppings."
An outcropping that just so happens to be inhabited by a Young Wolf. Farewell Fenris. Combat in this game is pretty basic from a melee standpoint, just click and kill. There are some abilities and such, but as I said before, this ain't no real LP and I'm not detailing all of this junk.
(http://i.imgur.com/I3TREcB.png)
Regardless, the wolf is dead and we now have access to the holy springberries.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) [Merchant] "Odema said something about you being in business for yourself." Create thine backstory, player.
"I piloted cargo ships." Most of America's economy depends on the sea trade after all.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Yeah? How is it you happened to come here?" Vague response so as to make every answer adequate.
"Had a big fight with my superiors about the way the ship was being run. They got rid of me." Woo, rebellion!
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "That's a damnable run of luck. (I'm so unlucky that I willfully ruined my career.) Maybe the new setting will turn things around for you."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png)"Calisca breathes in her surroundings. "Been a long time since I've been this way. But I always did like it."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Lord Raedric's offer... makes a girl think, I'll give him that. You here to settle, like the rest of the lot."
"It's a hard offer to pass up." A bit of dysentery is nothing compared to some free land.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "You won't find many offers like it in these parts, believe me. Got some big plan in store?"
"Getting filthy rich." The Dyrwoodan dream, baby!
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Ah, a man after my own heart. May your luck be better than mine."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Anyway, I'm wasting time here. Odema'll give me an earful. Let's be on our way."
"What can you tell me about Dyrwood?"
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "I'm not much for history, but from what I know, it used to be part of the Aedyr Empire. Broke off after a war some years back. The locals here are feisty and that's how they like it."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "I've been out of touch, but I've been hearing weird kinds of things about it lately. People having trouble giving birth, I guess. A lot of them. Been going on for years, now. But somehow it's getting worse." A whole country having trouble giving birth sounds a bit concerning. A bit.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "With an uneasy tremor in her voice, she adds, "I'll have to ask my sister more about it." You might be baiting me into asking you about your sister but I'm not going to do it!
"All right, let's get back to camp."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "You know, I wouldn't hold my breath that Sparfel's getting your water any time soon. He does what he feels like, when he feels like it. We should check up on him first. Slap him around a little." Woah now, I didn't sign up for that type of work.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Stream's just down that way. Come on. Let's get you your water." Sparfel the Loyal, Sparfel the Dutiful! Also, it is hour 26 right now. That's a thing. I don't think it is ever mentioned in-game but it sure is funky.
(http://i.imgur.com/BbqP9R7.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "What a surprise, Sparfel went hunting. Least he left the waterskins. C'mon."
(http://i.imgur.com/iy9XFQ3.png)
"You crouch at the riverbank, and dip your waterskin into cool water while Calisca waits nearby, keeping watch. (So bashful.) As you rise, you notice her look up sharply towards the treeline."
Oh, I bet it's just that cooky Sparfel up to his old tricks.
(http://i.imgur.com/05X0DKh.png)
"Out of the trees emerges Sparfel, (Sparfel the Sneaky, Sparfel the Scout!) one of the guides, barely discernible in the dim moonlight. He no longer carries his bow, and there is a strangeness to his gait, his stride wobbly as he moves toward you with labored breath." Aww, Sparfel has a crush.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Calisca frowns. "Sparfel? Are you all right?"
He just wants your attent- Oh, oh, welp.
(http://i.imgur.com/7KZt9yA.png)
"Sparfel's toe catches on a rock, and he collapses forward in a heap, the feathered shaft of an arrow planted between his shoulders like an enemy flag." Sparfel the Corpse, Sparfel the Dishonored!
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Ambush!"
(http://i.imgur.com/wM7ccj6.png)
So, uhh, yeah... about those Glanfathans...
...they're all dead now.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Come on! We have to get back to camp!"
(http://i.imgur.com/kUYXzsu.jpg)
"All around you lie the massacred remains of the other travelers, peppered with arrows and knife hilts, splayed and bug-eyed and filthy." Splayed and bug-eyed and filthy and stupid!
"Calisca puts the back of her left hand to her mouth as if to ward away some poisonous vapor." Isn't that the hand she holds her torch in? Sounds like a bad idea.
"A handful of dark figures stands (sic) above the fallen, treading on limbs and backs and heads, jerking their axes from bodies as if from half-split logs."
"One of them, towering and severe (and handsome?) with a thick beard tasseled with knots, holds a wet blade at the neck of the man you recognize as Heodan, the last of your caravan left standing."
"Lay down your arms, trespasser. Do not forfeit this man's life for a fight you will lose."
[Lore 1] "The ruin has not been sullied by our hands, men of Eir Glanfath." Fucking Men of Westernesse always screwing around.
"Your words carry no weight when I have seen the truth with my own eyes. Blood must be paid for this intrusion." That's anecdotal evidence! It doesn't count!
"So I say again. Lay down your arms."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Don't trust them, they mean to kill us all!" Maybe they just don't like your inbred features, Heodan. It's a real possibility you know.
[Might 14] "Only a fool attacks a weak enemy while a stronger one yet lives."
"The man considers this, looking you up and down. "Hmmph. Yet."
"He shoves Heodan toward you. As he does so, the man rakes his blade against Heodan's torso. Heodan screams and stumbles forward, a wide gash in his clothing beginning to bloom crimson."
"The man sets his feet to engage you, his axe raised high."
(http://i.imgur.com/vobLuyn.png)
Battle is done, battle is won.
"Your enemy lies supine on the ground, unable to rise, his companions now silent among the other dead. His breath comes in wheezing, fitful gasps. He looks not at you, but at the sky above you."
"Forgive us."
"Barely audible beneath his choked sighs, a whisper of wind stirs the air."
"At this, the man's eyes roll back as he closes them. "Good. Good. The gods are just."
"A queer smile crosses his face. "I am ready." I wonder if this is a biawac... nah, that would be too convenient.
(http://i.imgur.com/2Q2Zrae.jpg)
"The wind begins to swell, whipping around the camp, electric and volatile, upending pots and rattling tents like an angry spirit."
"You can feel it begin to seep beneath your skin, and where it pierces you it feels as though it is rending you apart from within."
(http://i.imgur.com/5MYbKSr.png)
"Seated against a wagon wheel amidst the howling maelstrom, slashed across chest and bowel, Odema's body stirs, and with great effort he raises his sagging head, his eyes barely open. He looks directly at you."
"Get inside. RUN!"
(http://i.imgur.com/I0E8DTq.jpg)
I think I can understand his problem with biawacs now.
(http://i.imgur.com/w2OgUg5.png)
"Straining against a gale that threatens to pull you off your feet with every step, you set your hands in the worn folds of weathered rock and set about pulling yourself up the precipice."
"With a last burst of energy before your arms give out, you swing yourself up onto the ledge."
"Heodan trails behind, slowed by injury and delayed by early hesitation."
(http://i.imgur.com/Yt7048P.png)
"As he nears the face of the rocks, one of the fallen attackers, who had been feigning death, lunges for Heodan and topples him onto the rocky ground." It's almost as if the gods want him to die or something.
"Restrained, Heodan lashes out against his fatigued assailant, but struggles to break his hold."
(http://i.imgur.com/Dgj4iNL.png)
"They are close to you. Despite the wind, from your position, if your were to throw your weapon at the attacker, you would have a good chance of hitting your mark." Hmm, i guess 20 Might allows us to throw great swords proficiently. If we didn't have over 15 dexterity, of course.
[Dexterity 15] "Grab a rock and hurl it at the attacker."
(http://i.imgur.com/DPfo1Vg.png)
"Your aim is true, and the hit jars Heodan loose." (Also you made a rock into a javelin, that's neat I guess.)
"Lurching to his feet, Heodan clambers up the base of the rocks. As he nears the top, however, the wind flares, pulling him sideways and tearing one of his hands free." Heodan is close to becoming worse than Sparfel.
(http://i.imgur.com/10rDCaH.png)
"But diving out onto the hard rock, you manage to catch hold of it. Securing his other hand, you pull with waning strength, and it feels as though your arms will be jerked from their sockets. They hold just long enough for Heodan to set his feet and join you on the trembling ledge."
"There is a deep resonance to the swelling wind now. You feel it in the rocks beneath your feet and inside the cavity of your own chest, as though it would shake the marrow from your bones." Who forgot to feed the biawac?
(http://i.imgur.com/O6aruQY.png)
"Each new gust menaces the old stones before you, loosening connections, unsettling balances. As you dart beneath the old archway, the entire portal begins to fall beneath its own weight." Looks like the Glanfathans were load-bearing.
(http://i.imgur.com/4xmgeNQ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Was that- ?"
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Heodan's words come between wheezing gasps. "A biawac. Had to be."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Then we're lucky to be alive." Alive... for now!
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "And we're the only ones."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "We can't stay here. There could be another collapse. We're not getting out that way, anyway. Let's get further inside."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "She eyes the ragged slash across Heodan's belly. "Can you walk?"
"Heodan's jaw tightens. He nods."
Alright, there is a bunch of stuff to see here, but I gotta finish this before it turns over to July 5th. Prepare for Pillars of Perpetuity: Fast Mode.
(http://i.imgur.com/xYjsp17.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Heodan's chest rises and falls visibly with each breath. "That should be far enough. But what now?" Heodan, did you not hear what I just said?
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "We look for another way out. Storm has to die sometime." We could ask all sorts of things, but like I said: fast mode.
"Let's get going."
"Heodan takes a step forward and his knee buckles, and before anyone can catch him he stumbles to the ground, his cheek striking the timeworn cobbles."
"On unsteady legs, he claws his way up the wall and back to his feet, but his stance is shaky, like a sailor walking on land after a time at sea."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Could- Could we maybe stay here and rest a few hours?" He nods at the gash across the midsection. "I've... lost some blood." He looks around. "Seems quiet off to the left. Might be a place to rest there." Despite the implications of his dialogue it doesn't matter where you rest. There are no random encounters in this game from what I've seen.
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "I hate to say this, but we can't afford to stay put. (At least she gets it.) Those Glanfathans were riled about something. Could be we got company in here. Looters will be armed and ready to kill, and there's probably a lot of them. We can't be caught sleeping in their beds."
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Please
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Maybe you didn't HEAR ME. (CAPITAL LETTERS SIGNIFY IMPORTANCE!!!) We are going to DIE in here (Dishonor is death, true facts.) if we don't get moving and get this place figured out before the looters come back. We've either gotta find the exit, or a damn good place to hide."
(http://i.imgur.com/H1C3PdJ.png) "Calisca's right. We have to press on. We don't know what we're up against." Well, most of us don't.
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Heodan looks like he's been struck. "I... I'll do my best."
Now, go, go, go!
(http://i.imgur.com/hMQ7pqn.jpg)
Puzzles! I don't have time for puzzles!
(http://i.imgur.com/iOZfjI1.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "That roundish symbol - I'm pretty sure I saw it on one of the tiles back there." HINT HINT
"A swirling symbol is inscribed on this pillar. An unlit brazier sits at its base. It could be lit, if you had the means." Fun fact, if you're a Fire Godlike you can use your hair to light this. Anyway, back to rushing through this extremely long RPG.
"Flames kindle swiftly in the brazier, winding their way upwards."
(http://i.imgur.com/VCdqC8B.jpg)
The solution is to light all of the brazier things. Not even in a specific order, just light all of them.
(http://i.imgur.com/N8NeR0B.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/nVqL6kW.png) "Feels like there's a draft coming through that wall. I don't hear any sigh of that storm, either."
(http://i.imgur.com/vVlAxLM.png)
Oh no, a spider. What will we ever do?
(http://i.imgur.com/R1aJ3li.png)
The dungeon has been successfully averted, back to exposition time.
(http://i.imgur.com/0POYtPg.jpg)
"Four figures stand before an otherworldly apparatus, an ancient structure of chiseled adra and metallic veins, ominous and looming like a silent observer."
"Standing motionless in their midst is what appears to be a human body, colorless as stone - or ash. The other figures gaze upon it in what might be contemplation. From your vantage point you are well obscured from their view." Ehh, it'll be fine. They'll use a stone to flesh scroll on him any moment now.
"The figure closest to the machine stands out among them. A thick gray beard frames a face otherwise hidden beneath a metallic mask."
"His faded robes are embroidered with a runic language unlike anything you have ever seen, and he wears a strange black headdress with two protrusions that jut out like the wings of some malevolent creature." Look, he might seem like a evil cultist when he's at work but I'm sure he's a really nice guy outside of his workplace.
(http://i.imgur.com/rT7Lux9.png) "He addresses the petrified body. "...Oathbinder bear witness and see this man has kept his word, true to his last breath, full to his blood's last drop. Guide his soul, Queen That Was, and regard it among your Favored. Let his life by the Key be his confession. Let his death by the Key be his absolution. Mayhe walk the world ever free of the crushing weight of the Book." Lord of the Flies is a pretty depressing book but I wouldn't describe it as "crushing".
(http://i.imgur.com/rT7Lux9.png) "The man passes his gaze over the others standing around him. "Your brother has done his part, and you have seen the power of his contribution. I will accept no further hesitation from the rest of you." He looks each in the eye in turn."
(http://i.imgur.com/rT7Lux9.png) "In the sight of the Queen That Was,
(http://i.imgur.com/vrnxkqJ.jpg)
Looks suspiciously like a biawac this ritual does. I smell conspiracy!
(http://i.imgur.com/1SxYdNQ.png)
"For an instant, the apparatus goes quiet and the air is still. Then, all at once, it erupts with a concussive surge. Light floods your vision, and you are knocked to the ground. Your head snaps back as you land, and pain wells into the back of your skull, washing your last thoughts away into the black unconscious void."
(http://i.imgur.com/FhLJauP.png)
"You open your eyes to a different place, another time. You stand in a circular room, grand and domed, its walls lined with adra and trimmed with copper. The style is ancient, but the chamber is unweathered." *cough*Past life*cough* What? I said nothing. You're hearing things.
"At the far end a great pillar of adra pierces the floor from below, its shimmering textures giving the illusion of boundless depth." One might even say... eternal depth.
"Encircling the pillar is an apparatus much like the one you have just seen, but immense and multifaceted and intertwined."
"Your thoughts are yours and not yours, and they seem to exist before you think them and they are all questions. Pressing questions, troubling questions. Questions that must be answered or... or..."
(http://i.imgur.com/X6qNtZn.png)
"At the base of the pillar now, you see a man with a thick gray beard in cermonial robe, crowned with a strange ornamental headdress."
"You know this man. You are walking towards him now at a pace that is hurried while trying not to appear so."
"You have something you want to ask him, one question above all, and the question spins madly in your mind." Something something where do babies come from?
"You awaken to find your malaise has broken, only to be replaced with something far more concerning. Faint whispers are audible at the edge of your hearing, like a ringing in your ears that does not subside."
"Movement flits through your periphery, but when you turn to look, you see no sign of whatever it was. You find your gaze regularly darting this way and that, an involuntary paranoid tic. If this is a sickness, it may be dangerous to go without treatment for long."
(http://i.imgur.com/yPHRFiV.jpg)
"The figures at the machine stand frozen in place, flesh and blood replaced by cinders and ash. The man who led them is nowhere to be seen."
(http://i.imgur.com/jFv1a28.png)
"Heodan and Calisca lie bloody on uneven cobbles, their bodies twisted unnaturally in death." Poor prologue companions, they can never get a break it seems.
"You are alone and far from help. Gilded Vale may be your best hope of receiving treatment before things get worse."
It's 11:55, gotta go faster! There's a forest area, but fuck it, let's get to Gilded Vale before it's too late!
(http://i.imgur.com/P9DusDF.jpg)
This place looks ominous, no wonder the lord is giving out free land! It was all a trap, much like this Independence Day special!
(http://i.imgur.com/5HygY4B.jpg)
Welp, I think that's a good place to end this on, don't you? I don't have the time regardless, farewell!
Images will be added soon, I just wanted to get the thing posted before 12 o'clock hit.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 05, 2016, 05:30:05 am
Why, it's almost as if it was yesterday I played through it as the Unhittable Orlan Nihilist Paladin, Miniature Ultratank Extraordinaire.
If you haven't gone through it before, I'd advise making a party of your own characters and maybe taking only one or two NPCs that you actually like along. That lets you have way more fun with party compositions (not to mention you can set your own characters to be mute so you don't have to listen to their repetitive soundbites - not to alarm you, but I am slowly dying of poison) and to tell you the truth you're mostly not missing much if you leave about 80% of them by the roadside where they belong.
Post by: A Thing on July 05, 2016, 12:36:24 pm
Ah, Pillars of Eternity. The memories! The lack of feeling! The overabundance of cool concepts with lackluster execution! That magistrate in front of the tree whose voice actor doesn't seem to have received any direction to the point where the description along his lines actively contradicts his tone of voice!
Why, it's almost as if it was yesterday I played through it as the Unhittable Orlan Nihilist Paladin, Miniature Ultratank Extraordinaire.
If you haven't gone through it before, I'd advise making a party of your own characters and maybe taking only one or two NPCs that you actually like along. That lets you have way more fun with party compositions (not to mention you can set your own characters to be mute so you don't have to listen to their repetitive soundbites - not to alarm you, but I am slowly dying of poison) and to tell you the truth you're mostly not missing much if you leave about 80% of them by the roadside where they belong.
The setting does feel kinda weird, sorta like the elves and dwarves were just pasted in later. That, and all the other generic monsters like ogres and giants right next to weird shit like Animats. Not sure why they felt the need to include them, but hey, I guess it sells.
I've gotten far enough into the game (act 2ish) that I realized on my own that the NPCs are mostly mediocre* and their sidequests usually end in a whimper (What's that Eder? Your brother was a traitor? By the gods, let's never investigate further.) so I'll probably make a party of 1 cipher(I don't think I can change my class at this point)\1 fighter\Durance\3 Druids\Monks or something.
I'm still enjoying it though, which probably has something to do with me reading the Pillars of Eternity thread here back when it came out. Definitely wasn't expecting a classic when I bought it and was pleasantly surprised when I did play it.
*Besides Durance who seems to get the most dialogue and the most interesting of it. The Grieving Mother would be interesting, however there is more than enough mind-journey questing in Pillars of Eternity already. Sagani is pretty bland but I'm interested enough in Purseankh that I'll probably finish her sidequest regardless of how lackluster the endings for both chanter dude's sidequest and Eder's sidequest were.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 07, 2016, 07:36:10 am
But the game is pretty good despite my gripes, and I've got to say, having the Nihilist background has probably the best payoff for a minor choice I've ever experienced in a game. Hope they make the next one less dry and maybe instead of talking about moments like that wicht thing Eder tells you about actually lets you encounter them on your own.
I should probably play through again myself. I hear they did something with Caed Nua to make it a little less irrelevant?
Post by: A Thing on July 07, 2016, 12:26:51 pm
Yeah, Durance is a good one to take along, and not just because I'm a sucker for an Avellone NPC (don't remember if I took Grieving Mother along, I don't think I did).
But the game is pretty good despite my gripes, and I've got to say, having the Nihilist background has probably the best payoff for a minor choice I've ever experienced in a game. Hope they make the next one less dry and maybe instead of talking about moments like that wicht thing Eder tells you about actually lets you encounter them on your own.
I should probably play through again myself. I hear they did something with Caed Nua to make it a little less irrelevant?
Caed Nua got a succession questline pretty much. Some noble dude tries to usurp it from you and you've got to defend your claim. Pretty enjoyable, my only real complaint is that the quests trigger too quickly. Even leaving Caed Nua for Defiance Bay would trigger the next stage in the questline when I played through it.
(http://i.imgur.com/8K1ZRDv.png)
Welcome to King of Dyrwood Pass.
(http://i.imgur.com/cVGzQd8.png)
Maybe the Crucible Knights should've manwavered instead of charged.
Post by: A Thing on July 09, 2016, 01:41:33 am
Spoiler: Whatever you do, don't feed the Reverend after midnight! (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/987eIM9.png)
"She's beautiful, and she glows." Marry a mutant and never again will you need a flashlight. You'll probably need a surrogate father though. Also, I guess since this is a woman I can't post the portrait. It might look like a generic male muscle monk but now that it's possibly female it will scar the children forever. Woo, American definitions of adult content!
Despite being somewhat unique, the RadAngel is just as effective in combat as the average mutant. Into the Melting Monastery we go!
(http://i.imgur.com/zMZyxet.png)
"This is the Temple of the (Slaves of the) Servants of the Mushroom cloud. Faded posters line the walls."
"Come forward and show yourselves." I always show myself to disembodied voices, don't you?
(http://i.imgur.com/kWMPLbW.png)
"Move to your left so I can see you." Sure, why not?
"Speak the name of the Holy One."
NRC?
"Did you bring a gift?" My presence should be a gift of its own, peasant.
"What is your gift?"
My presence?
"Go away, you vile infidels." I guess we need an indulgence before we can enter.
Apparently the "gift" we can give them is the bloodstaff. I guess this is the same cult as the blood cult? It wasn't made clear at all. Thankfully these aren't plot doors and we can instead just...
(http://i.imgur.com/LwA3M27.png)
...let it all out.
"You are being attacked from all sides as portholes open in the walls around you."
"The door is all over the place, in little pieces."
(http://i.imgur.com/5vWC5Bt.png)
"Hideous almost human Temple guards face you."
(http://i.imgur.com/15k1Ucg.png)
This fight is a slog, and not really feasible in a reasonable amount of time. I'm sure we could do it, but this game's combat system is pretty basic and I'd rather not spend any more time using it than I have to. Time to look up what the password is I suppose. (Sweet Jesus there are three level dungeons coming up, kill me now.)
The password is Oppenheimer or Einstein. You can find posters of them if you slam your cock into the walls here, wonderful.
"Speak the name of the Holy One."
Einstein.
"Welcome to our Temple. Enter and Learn."
(http://i.imgur.com/lXjMaYL.png)
"The side halls are dim and quiet. The north bright and quiet." Even the game is falling apart, it doesn't want to be played either. To the west we go, sadly.
(http://i.imgur.com/smUJOCb.png)
"You hear the sounds of meditation.' So... we hear nothing? Shouldn't the meditation rooms be silent? Let's investigate closer.
(http://i.imgur.com/cqPMdJF.png)
"This is a small meditation room, with a painting on the far wall." What type of painting? Let's slam our cock into it.
"This is a picture of a fuzzy haired old man. The plaque next to it reads, "Einstein gave us the theory." Theoretically he gave us the theory, in theory.
Once again, we stride off in search of content.
(http://i.imgur.com/graMnuQ.png)
This meditatin' man is just a painted piece of cardboard. I guess they wanted this place to seem more popular than it actually is.
(http://i.imgur.com/YSkHZy6.png)
Meditatin' man #2 is also a piece of cardboard, I'm sensing a theme here.
(http://i.imgur.com/dnWVmlI.png)
These two pieces of cardboard are fistbumping eternally, how tragic.
(http://i.imgur.com/SmMQCsk.png)
A sign on this piece of cardboard's back reads "Kick me" good thing he doesn't have feelings.
East we go, to the majestic healing lands.
"FIRST AID." FIRST AID? FIRST AID.
(http://i.imgur.com/Zt6rmVX.png)
The cardboard man here is smoking a fake cigarette and wearing an anti-smoking sign, cute.
The FIRST AID area is just a doctor so our search for content must continue.
"TECHNICAL TRAINING." THIS SEEMS LIKE A PLACE WHERE CONTENT MIGHT BE.
(http://i.imgur.com/WG6xc7I.png)
THIS IS JUST A NORMAL LIBRARY, THE SEARCH MUST CONTINUE.
(http://i.imgur.com/gkIC2Gt.png)
Rad suits and generic clothing this room has, hidden doors this room also has; useful this room be, content it might result in
Brotherman's perception gets raised to 4 when he notices "That it would be unsafe to move farther in this electrical room." North we go, maybe there'll be content. If not, well, I'll just off-LP this waste-of-time dungeon. No really, I will.
(http://i.imgur.com/mOm3CLa.png)
"Electrical Generators." I smell a lack of content of substance, but I'll give this room a chance before I tell this game to get fucked.
(http://i.imgur.com/6A5ekvf.png)
"Get off that table! You don't sit on tables at home do you!?" Haha, very funny. Where's the actual stuff though? What was the point of that secret tunnel if the generator room had nothing? The clothing room only had one locked door, so why go through two? Whatever the reason I'll see you when we meet Charlemagne I guess.
(http://i.imgur.com/lGxEbe0.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/xdDSAMi.png)
I just want to show off this adorable scene of cardboard nuclear physicians. You'll do the science one day, guys.
(http://i.imgur.com/ExWSzBW.png)
"Loud chanting of many different mantras rolls forth from the room in front of you."
"You could make out what they were saying if you moved closer."
"Come forward and show yourselves." I'll show myself to you any day, Charlemagne.
(http://i.imgur.com/0Iq6UaP.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/NpXWWHm.png)
"Nrc, Nrc,Ncr Nrc."
"You hear in the distance, "Nuke 'em till they glow, and shoot 'em in the dark." A cacophony of poorly modulated voices echos into even the very stone of this assembly hall. This must be a hell of some sort.
(http://i.imgur.com/sKYAx8e.png)
"STOP THERE! Do not come any closer!" (I've filed a restraining order against the Desert Rangers!) Charmaine demands. Even though she is glowing purple, she has got to be the most beautiful woman you have ever seen." Well, by Cardboard Cultist standards she is anyway.
"Do you seek the Great Glow?"
I don't think so.
"Go to the meditation rooms and learn."
"Leave us now."
But thou must, Rangers, but thou must.
If we try to talk to her after this she attacks us, looks like it's time for a reload.
"Do you seek the Great Glow?"
Yeah, I love radiation! I make love to it every Wednesday!
"Who sent you?"
Chris Brygo Cain.
"Faran must have sent you to look for Max. Last I knew he was headed for the sewers. He built a special key to get down there. It's called a Sonic Key. Don't confuse it with the four keys of the Citadel. Max made a couple of them and told me that he was hiding one somewhere in the old golf course. Didn't tell me where, though. Didn't do him any good, either. The Newmen grabbed him before he could do anything. If you return to me the Bloodstaff from the Mushroom Church in Needles I can show you the way. Tell the bishop DIPSTICK."
What dipstick thought backtracking was a good idea? Oh well, I can't fight it now.
(http://i.imgur.com/oS5i2Cl.png)
"What can I do for you, my child?"
DIPSTICK!
"Please be careful with it." I'll slam your dipstick wherever I want to slam it, you can't control me old man.
"Thank you for the Bloodstaff." Charmaine takes the Bloodstaff from you and her face lights up. (And then it became a lightshow...) You clear your throat. "We've done our part," you say, "now do yours. We need to find this character Max before all of Vegas is overrun by these killer robots." (At least they didn't say death machines.)
"Ah, yes, Max," she croons, "that strange flunky for Faran Brygo. You probably don't know that he is a robot." sdfs (Don't worry, that was just the old writer dying.) The news hits you hard. "Things keep going from bad to worse," you mutter. "Outlaws, Blood Cultists, Killer Robots, Bomb Worshipers, and now Cyborg Robotnappers! What next?" (The game ending, thankfully.)
She inserts the Bloodstaff into a secret compartment and turns it. You hear a low groan, as if some new doors were opening up. "The way is now clear for you," says Charmaine. "If you survive your encounter with the Newmen, look me up in a couple of months. (
) I might have another missions for you." You can only grumble and take your leave."
(http://i.imgur.com/SkRX1nl.png)
Here's where they store useless junk like Cardboard Cultists. Charlemagne is anything but ungrateful. Maybe when the moons align we'll finally get some decent equipment. For now, however, we'll just saunter into the sewers.
(http://i.imgur.com/lZQCfm6.png)
"This dusty hallway has not been used in a long time." Looks like we've found the entrance to the sewers.
(http://i.imgur.com/7e7qWuh.png)
"You find only dust when you look here." Are you sure about that? Is that ladder made of dust then? I suppose it is. Pretty impressive, must be sorcery.
"The darkness is thick like a cloak and hides many horrors." The night is dark and full of terrors?
(http://i.imgur.com/I9eblmw.png)
So... uhh... yeah. This is the sewer. I'll be back when we meet Max or do something that isn't kill robits.
(http://i.imgur.com/v7cdjFx.png)
Look at this thing, look at it! It's a Boa Tronstrictor and it looks nothing like a Tron or a Boa Constrictor. That's all I have to say, back to murder. Well, I'll get back to murder once I get out of water hell. Apparently this sewer ejects into the main river, no grate, no nothing.
(http://i.imgur.com/KvaHfJ5.png)
"Complicated machinery still hums amid the gory ruins of the cyborgs you have slain."
"Your search yields some useful equipment."
A rom board more specifically, neat. Since we're here, I might as well show you this rope bridge thing I had to make and all of its unique text. I'm sure someone will want to see it.
(http://i.imgur.com/2W8P4Ga.png)
"The streambed shifts beneath you but the rope keeps you up. You feel creatures slither between your legs."
"Sluggish water swirls around your legs. It stinks and is slippery, but the rope helps you wade across."
"Before you is a torpid river of raw sewage from the city of Vegas above you."
"The water is thick and cold. Its slimy touch chills you."
Back to dismantling the minority cyborg population.
(http://i.imgur.com/Ez5cHBZ.png)
"There's a wide chasm ahead. Looks like you could secure a rope here, then cross." If you can find the right place to ram the rope into that is, apparently using the rope on the open air doesn't work. Neither does using it on the walls. I'm sure some skill determines our success here.
"You also smash into the walls of the chasm and get fairly beat up in the process."
(http://i.imgur.com/NAwOTJC.png)
Yep, we're here now and the only way we can get out is by using the...
..."Handholds that are only suitable for one person at a time." Oh boy, splitting the party? This sounds like so much fun!
Go forth Brotherman, for the souls of everyone or some such.
(http://i.imgur.com/HcCmX6R.png)
"The climb is difficult and nervous sweat coats your hands." Yeah, we can't progress further without climb skill. Looks like I need to find where we ram this rope into.
(http://i.imgur.com/rbzu7wP.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/m1qDmpj.png)
The square your standing on apparently, because that's where you ram your rope, right? This game's skill prompts are masterfully done.
Why is this dungeon so rope heavy anyway? We have only used a rope once before this and all the sudden all the ropes from Ireland to distant Cathay must be collected and used. I'm sure one of you out there can send a message to Brian Fargo's twitter or something, but for now we're returning to STRATEGIC JUNKYARD ACTION.
(http://i.imgur.com/wzcYHhw.png)
A harrowing menace towers over the Rangers, sending terror deep into the marrow of their bones. What shall they do to confront this cretin crafted with the darkest of intenti-
(http://i.imgur.com/8TvQoot.png)
They shall do that, I suppose. I predicted this by the way. I went to get a drink and on the way back I guessed something like this would happen and it did. Praise be me for I see the crevices that leak the oils that make the future! By the way, the Buffalo Bills will win the Superbowl.
If your curious as to what the Tronosaurus dropped, it was three power packs. Pretty good for such a shit "boss". Probably inherited it from Tronosaurus Senior.
(http://i.imgur.com/8GfEyDW.png)
Yoink blows up more stuff and such. Nothing too amazing, nevertheless I felt like I needed something to post something that would sorta explain what was going on.
(http://i.imgur.com/wzcYHhw.png)
"A small, six-armed robot with a squat, humanoid head on top whirls in your direction and raises its weapons."
It's a hexborg! It'll cast 6 hexes on you (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_ekugPKqFw), bro, it'll do it!
Rest in peace, hexbot, you died in the first round like so many before you. If only you didn't have a reverse weapons button it might've been different.
(http://i.imgur.com/c4Vc6hl.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/wzcYHhw.png)
"Rangers I will defeat you and restore the sheen of my families' name!"
Who knew, robits have siblings too. Does that mean that a robot using another robot's busted parts to create a new robot is incest? Recycling is really immoral if you think about it too hard, let's not think about it too hard.
Having blurted that out, the hexbot decides that life is to complex and obliterates himself. They really should remove that reverse weapons button.
(http://i.imgur.com/SDkXZpF.png)
"The metal door here is thick and the word "LAB" is painted in bold letters in the center of it."
Something special approaches. A place where we can use our sonic key and a place that houses more...
...hexborgs. I'll be back.
Now that I've solved that problem, let's investigate this room.
"In this lab area most of the equipment is broken. Still, along the east wall some equipment looks functional."
(http://i.imgur.com/kus3EZP.png)
Functional, sure, but what is its function?
"Android assembly unit:
1) Diagnostic function
2) Initiate repairs
3) Prep for assembly"
Maybe this is why we've been collecting robot parts, maybe. Let's diagnose this robot's deal.
"Power source missing."
"Device Inoperable."
This is one hell of a operating system, the complexity of this information is overwhelming. So overwhelming that the machine itself is going to have to do these repairs.
"The energy source socket is empty."
This is an item puzzle I suppose and I'd rather not deal with that right now so we shall circumvent it with wasteland witchery.
"The fusion cell screws into place easily."
Well, that's problem is solved for now so let's mov-
"The old power converter sparks and smokes."
Good thing we carry an entire chopshop in our pocket, eh?
"The new power converter hums."
If it didn't hum, I would make it hum.
"The central servomotor was damaged by the old power board. It needs replaced to drive the whole unit."
"The servomotor slides into place with a click." Wouldn't be good enough if it just slid into place, would it? It's gotta click to satisfy your needs.
"A unit control board needs to be replaced." I
"The new board slides easily into its bracket."
Time to INITIATE REPAIRS!
"Repairs to this unit are complete and successful."
Now we've just got to repair the other three units, what joy.
"The left shoulder assembly really needs an overhaul."
"The servomotor slides into place with a click."
Time to initiate repairs, etc, etc.
"The left knee assembly is a mess." Whoever broke this robot really hated the political left. Might've been a member of the MAN party.
"The servomotor slides across the ice like it was always meant to, with a click."
"The right hip obviously needs some work." Something something hips don't lie.
"The servomotor slides into your heart, with a click."
"Repairs cannot proceed without a head unit." Why would a robot even have a head? Why would you make the vital spot obvious? Is it because of generic science fiction? I think it is.
"The head clicks into your place."
"A unit control board needs to be sent to boarding school so it can learn how to survive on the financial board."
"The new board slides easily into its economic bracket, how mundane."
With that, all that is left to do is assemble the bot so that's what we'll do.
"All repairs needed at this station are complete X4"
"The android awakens. Max reaches up and gives his head a bit of a twist. You hear a click (hot) and the android smiles. "I came down here to negotiate a peace with the cyborgs and what do they do? They rip me up and start using me for spare parts." (It's okay, you aren't related to them.)
"Ingrates!" He stretches and stands. "I have to get back up to Vegas and help prepare for the next assault, but I've got a mission of great importance for you. Head northeast from here and, across the bridge, you'll find a hidden base. It is a journey you must succeed at. (Fun fact: the encounters on the world map are the same ones from the beginning of the game so the journey is close to impossible to fail.) There, you will find lost technology and information that you can use to stop Cochise before it's too late."
"A secret passage slides open in the room's south wall. (Suddenly Skyrim.) At the same time, a blast proof security door slides down in front of the entrance to the room. It short circuits, preventing exit. "Go through the secret passage to get out of here. One thing," Max adds, "It is possible you'll need to recover some equipment from Project Darwin before you can complete the rebuilding of the sleeper base. Be careful, though, and rebuild as much of the base as you can before you venture off to Darwin. I don't like the things I've heard about it at." His power supply goes out then and that's all for him. Oh well, he was just a robot.
(http://i.imgur.com/ljqNaDX.png)
Off to Brygo and the end of this update.
(http://i.imgur.com/MyZjigd.png)
"Mr. Brygo is busy now and doesn't want to be disturbed." Welp, let's report this in. Might need to end another branch of humanity.
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Z9litRM.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/4Gdz4zs.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/eQIg20c.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/NGgsDo7.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/PkvAF7h.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/GhfCBPS.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ZntNFUo.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/QjfAlSW.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/gEtqJk6.png)
So ends this update.
"She's beautiful, and she glows." Marry a mutant and never again will you need a flashlight. You'll probably need a surrogate father though. Also, I guess since this is a woman I can't post the portrait. It might look like a generic male muscle monk but now that it's possibly female it will scar the children forever. Woo, American definitions of adult content!
Despite being somewhat unique, the RadAngel is just as effective in combat as the average mutant. Into the Melting Monastery we go!
(http://i.imgur.com/zMZyxet.png)
"This is the Temple of the (Slaves of the) Servants of the Mushroom cloud. Faded posters line the walls."
"Come forward and show yourselves." I always show myself to disembodied voices, don't you?
(http://i.imgur.com/kWMPLbW.png)
"Move to your left so I can see you." Sure, why not?
"Speak the name of the Holy One."
NRC?
"Did you bring a gift?" My presence should be a gift of its own, peasant.
"What is your gift?"
My presence?
"Go away, you vile infidels." I guess we need an indulgence before we can enter.
Apparently the "gift" we can give them is the bloodstaff. I guess this is the same cult as the blood cult? It wasn't made clear at all. Thankfully these aren't plot doors and we can instead just...
(http://i.imgur.com/LwA3M27.png)
...let it all out.
"You are being attacked from all sides as portholes open in the walls around you."
"The door is all over the place, in little pieces."
(http://i.imgur.com/5vWC5Bt.png)
"Hideous almost human Temple guards face you."
(http://i.imgur.com/15k1Ucg.png)
This fight is a slog, and not really feasible in a reasonable amount of time. I'm sure we could do it, but this game's combat system is pretty basic and I'd rather not spend any more time using it than I have to. Time to look up what the password is I suppose. (Sweet Jesus there are three level dungeons coming up, kill me now.)
The password is Oppenheimer or Einstein. You can find posters of them if you slam your cock into the walls here, wonderful.
"Speak the name of the Holy One."
Einstein.
"Welcome to our Temple. Enter and Learn."
(http://i.imgur.com/lXjMaYL.png)
"The side halls are dim and quiet. The north bright and quiet." Even the game is falling apart, it doesn't want to be played either. To the west we go, sadly.
(http://i.imgur.com/smUJOCb.png)
"You hear the sounds of meditation.' So... we hear nothing? Shouldn't the meditation rooms be silent? Let's investigate closer.
(http://i.imgur.com/cqPMdJF.png)
"This is a small meditation room, with a painting on the far wall." What type of painting? Let's slam our cock into it.
"This is a picture of a fuzzy haired old man. The plaque next to it reads, "Einstein gave us the theory." Theoretically he gave us the theory, in theory.
Once again, we stride off in search of content.
(http://i.imgur.com/graMnuQ.png)
This meditatin' man is just a painted piece of cardboard. I guess they wanted this place to seem more popular than it actually is.
(http://i.imgur.com/YSkHZy6.png)
Meditatin' man #2 is also a piece of cardboard, I'm sensing a theme here.
(http://i.imgur.com/dnWVmlI.png)
These two pieces of cardboard are fistbumping eternally, how tragic.
(http://i.imgur.com/SmMQCsk.png)
A sign on this piece of cardboard's back reads "Kick me" good thing he doesn't have feelings.
East we go, to the majestic healing lands.
"FIRST AID." FIRST AID? FIRST AID.
(http://i.imgur.com/Zt6rmVX.png)
The cardboard man here is smoking a fake cigarette and wearing an anti-smoking sign, cute.
The FIRST AID area is just a doctor so our search for content must continue.
"TECHNICAL TRAINING." THIS SEEMS LIKE A PLACE WHERE CONTENT MIGHT BE.
(http://i.imgur.com/WG6xc7I.png)
THIS IS JUST A NORMAL LIBRARY, THE SEARCH MUST CONTINUE.
(http://i.imgur.com/gkIC2Gt.png)
Rad suits and generic clothing this room has, hidden doors this room also has; useful this room be, content it might result in
Brotherman's perception gets raised to 4 when he notices "That it would be unsafe to move farther in this electrical room." North we go, maybe there'll be content. If not, well, I'll just off-LP this waste-of-time dungeon. No really, I will.
(http://i.imgur.com/mOm3CLa.png)
"Electrical Generators." I smell a lack of content of substance, but I'll give this room a chance before I tell this game to get fucked.
(http://i.imgur.com/6A5ekvf.png)
"Get off that table! You don't sit on tables at home do you!?" Haha, very funny. Where's the actual stuff though? What was the point of that secret tunnel if the generator room had nothing? The clothing room only had one locked door, so why go through two? Whatever the reason I'll see you when we meet Charlemagne I guess.
(http://i.imgur.com/lGxEbe0.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/xdDSAMi.png)
I just want to show off this adorable scene of cardboard nuclear physicians. You'll do the science one day, guys.
(http://i.imgur.com/ExWSzBW.png)
"Loud chanting of many different mantras rolls forth from the room in front of you."
"You could make out what they were saying if you moved closer."
"Come forward and show yourselves." I'll show myself to you any day, Charlemagne.
(http://i.imgur.com/0Iq6UaP.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/NpXWWHm.png)
"Nrc, Nrc,
"You hear in the distance, "Nuke 'em till they glow, and shoot 'em in the dark." A cacophony of poorly modulated voices echos into even the very stone of this assembly hall. This must be a hell of some sort.
(http://i.imgur.com/sKYAx8e.png)
"STOP THERE! Do not come any closer!" (I've filed a restraining order against the Desert Rangers!) Charmaine demands. Even though she is glowing purple, she has got to be the most beautiful woman you have ever seen." Well, by Cardboard Cultist standards she is anyway.
"Do you seek the Great Glow?"
I don't think so.
"Go to the meditation rooms and learn."
"Leave us now."
But thou must, Rangers, but thou must.
If we try to talk to her after this she attacks us, looks like it's time for a reload.
"Do you seek the Great Glow?"
Yeah, I love radiation! I make love to it every Wednesday!
"Who sent you?"
Chris Brygo Cain.
"Faran must have sent you to look for Max. Last I knew he was headed for the sewers. He built a special key to get down there. It's called a Sonic Key. Don't confuse it with the four keys of the Citadel. Max made a couple of them and told me that he was hiding one somewhere in the old golf course. Didn't tell me where, though. Didn't do him any good, either. The Newmen grabbed him before he could do anything. If you return to me the Bloodstaff from the Mushroom Church in Needles I can show you the way. Tell the bishop DIPSTICK."
What dipstick thought backtracking was a good idea? Oh well, I can't fight it now.
(http://i.imgur.com/oS5i2Cl.png)
"What can I do for you, my child?"
DIPSTICK!
"Please be careful with it." I'll slam your dipstick wherever I want to slam it, you can't control me old man.
"Thank you for the Bloodstaff." Charmaine takes the Bloodstaff from you and her face lights up. (And then it became a lightshow...) You clear your throat. "We've done our part," you say, "now do yours. We need to find this character Max before all of Vegas is overrun by these killer robots." (At least they didn't say death machines.)
"Ah, yes, Max," she croons, "that strange flunky for Faran Brygo. You probably don't know that he is a robot." sdfs (Don't worry, that was just the old writer dying.) The news hits you hard. "Things keep going from bad to worse," you mutter. "Outlaws, Blood Cultists, Killer Robots, Bomb Worshipers, and now Cyborg Robotnappers! What next?" (The game ending, thankfully.)
She inserts the Bloodstaff into a secret compartment and turns it. You hear a low groan, as if some new doors were opening up. "The way is now clear for you," says Charmaine. "If you survive your encounter with the Newmen, look me up in a couple of months. (
) I might have another missions for you." You can only grumble and take your leave."(http://i.imgur.com/SkRX1nl.png)
Here's where they store useless junk like Cardboard Cultists. Charlemagne is anything but ungrateful. Maybe when the moons align we'll finally get some decent equipment. For now, however, we'll just saunter into the sewers.
(http://i.imgur.com/lZQCfm6.png)
"This dusty hallway has not been used in a long time." Looks like we've found the entrance to the sewers.
(http://i.imgur.com/7e7qWuh.png)
"You find only dust when you look here." Are you sure about that? Is that ladder made of dust then? I suppose it is. Pretty impressive, must be sorcery.
"The darkness is thick like a cloak and hides many horrors." The night is dark and full of terrors?
(http://i.imgur.com/I9eblmw.png)
So... uhh... yeah. This is the sewer. I'll be back when we meet Max or do something that isn't kill robits.
(http://i.imgur.com/v7cdjFx.png)
Look at this thing, look at it! It's a Boa Tronstrictor and it looks nothing like a Tron or a Boa Constrictor. That's all I have to say, back to murder. Well, I'll get back to murder once I get out of water hell. Apparently this sewer ejects into the main river, no grate, no nothing.
(http://i.imgur.com/KvaHfJ5.png)
"Complicated machinery still hums amid the gory ruins of the cyborgs you have slain."
"Your search yields some useful equipment."
A rom board more specifically, neat. Since we're here, I might as well show you this rope bridge thing I had to make and all of its unique text. I'm sure someone will want to see it.
(http://i.imgur.com/2W8P4Ga.png)
"The streambed shifts beneath you but the rope keeps you up. You feel creatures slither between your legs."
"Sluggish water swirls around your legs. It stinks and is slippery, but the rope helps you wade across."
"Before you is a torpid river of raw sewage from the city of Vegas above you."
"The water is thick and cold. Its slimy touch chills you."
Back to dismantling the minority cyborg population.
(http://i.imgur.com/Ez5cHBZ.png)
"There's a wide chasm ahead. Looks like you could secure a rope here, then cross." If you can find the right place to ram the rope into that is, apparently using the rope on the open air doesn't work. Neither does using it on the walls. I'm sure some skill determines our success here.
"You also smash into the walls of the chasm and get fairly beat up in the process."
(http://i.imgur.com/NAwOTJC.png)
Yep, we're here now and the only way we can get out is by using the...
..."Handholds that are only suitable for one person at a time." Oh boy, splitting the party? This sounds like so much fun!
Go forth Brotherman, for the souls of everyone or some such.
(http://i.imgur.com/HcCmX6R.png)
"The climb is difficult and nervous sweat coats your hands." Yeah, we can't progress further without climb skill. Looks like I need to find where we ram this rope into.
(http://i.imgur.com/rbzu7wP.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/m1qDmpj.png)
The square your standing on apparently, because that's where you ram your rope, right? This game's skill prompts are masterfully done.
Why is this dungeon so rope heavy anyway? We have only used a rope once before this and all the sudden all the ropes from Ireland to distant Cathay must be collected and used. I'm sure one of you out there can send a message to Brian Fargo's twitter or something, but for now we're returning to STRATEGIC JUNKYARD ACTION.
(http://i.imgur.com/wzcYHhw.png)
A harrowing menace towers over the Rangers, sending terror deep into the marrow of their bones. What shall they do to confront this cretin crafted with the darkest of intenti-
(http://i.imgur.com/8TvQoot.png)
They shall do that, I suppose. I predicted this by the way. I went to get a drink and on the way back I guessed something like this would happen and it did. Praise be me for I see the crevices that leak the oils that make the future! By the way, the Buffalo Bills will win the Superbowl.
If your curious as to what the Tronosaurus dropped, it was three power packs. Pretty good for such a shit "boss". Probably inherited it from Tronosaurus Senior.
(http://i.imgur.com/8GfEyDW.png)
Yoink blows up more stuff and such. Nothing too amazing, nevertheless I felt like I needed something to post something that would sorta explain what was going on.
(http://i.imgur.com/wzcYHhw.png)
"A small, six-armed robot with a squat, humanoid head on top whirls in your direction and raises its weapons."
It's a hexborg! It'll cast 6 hexes on you (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_ekugPKqFw), bro, it'll do it!
Rest in peace, hexbot, you died in the first round like so many before you. If only you didn't have a reverse weapons button it might've been different.
(http://i.imgur.com/c4Vc6hl.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/wzcYHhw.png)
"Rangers I will defeat you and restore the sheen of my families' name!"
Who knew, robits have siblings too. Does that mean that a robot using another robot's busted parts to create a new robot is incest? Recycling is really immoral if you think about it too hard, let's not think about it too hard.
Having blurted that out, the hexbot decides that life is to complex and obliterates himself. They really should remove that reverse weapons button.
(http://i.imgur.com/SDkXZpF.png)
"The metal door here is thick and the word "LAB" is painted in bold letters in the center of it."
Something special approaches. A place where we can use our sonic key and a place that houses more...
...hexborgs. I'll be back.
Now that I've solved that problem, let's investigate this room.
"In this lab area most of the equipment is broken. Still, along the east wall some equipment looks functional."
(http://i.imgur.com/kus3EZP.png)
Functional, sure, but what is its function?
"Android assembly unit:
1) Diagnostic function
2) Initiate repairs
3) Prep for assembly"
Maybe this is why we've been collecting robot parts, maybe. Let's diagnose this robot's deal.
"Power source missing."
"Device Inoperable."
This is one hell of a operating system, the complexity of this information is overwhelming. So overwhelming that the machine itself is going to have to do these repairs.
"The energy source socket is empty."
This is an item puzzle I suppose and I'd rather not deal with that right now so we shall circumvent it with wasteland witchery.
"The fusion cell screws into place easily."
Well, that's problem is solved for now so let's mov-
"The old power converter sparks and smokes."
Good thing we carry an entire chopshop in our pocket, eh?
"The new power converter hums."
If it didn't hum, I would make it hum.
"The central servomotor was damaged by the old power board. It needs replaced to drive the whole unit."
"The servomotor slides into place with a click." Wouldn't be good enough if it just slid into place, would it? It's gotta click to satisfy your needs.
"A unit control board needs to be replaced." I
"The new board slides easily into its bracket."
Time to INITIATE REPAIRS!
"Repairs to this unit are complete and successful."
Now we've just got to repair the other three units, what joy.
"The left shoulder assembly really needs an overhaul."
"The servomotor slides into place with a click."
Time to initiate repairs, etc, etc.
"The left knee assembly is a mess." Whoever broke this robot really hated the political left. Might've been a member of the MAN party.
"The servomotor slides across the ice like it was always meant to, with a click."
"The right hip obviously needs some work." Something something hips don't lie.
"The servomotor slides into your heart, with a click."
"Repairs cannot proceed without a head unit." Why would a robot even have a head? Why would you make the vital spot obvious? Is it because of generic science fiction? I think it is.
"The head clicks into your place."
"A unit control board needs to be sent to boarding school so it can learn how to survive on the financial board."
"The new board slides easily into its economic bracket, how mundane."
With that, all that is left to do is assemble the bot so that's what we'll do.
"All repairs needed at this station are complete X4"
"The android awakens. Max reaches up and gives his head a bit of a twist. You hear a click (hot) and the android smiles. "I came down here to negotiate a peace with the cyborgs and what do they do? They rip me up and start using me for spare parts." (It's okay, you aren't related to them.)
"Ingrates!" He stretches and stands. "I have to get back up to Vegas and help prepare for the next assault, but I've got a mission of great importance for you. Head northeast from here and, across the bridge, you'll find a hidden base. It is a journey you must succeed at. (Fun fact: the encounters on the world map are the same ones from the beginning of the game so the journey is close to impossible to fail.) There, you will find lost technology and information that you can use to stop Cochise before it's too late."
"A secret passage slides open in the room's south wall. (Suddenly Skyrim.) At the same time, a blast proof security door slides down in front of the entrance to the room. It short circuits, preventing exit. "Go through the secret passage to get out of here. One thing," Max adds, "It is possible you'll need to recover some equipment from Project Darwin before you can complete the rebuilding of the sleeper base. Be careful, though, and rebuild as much of the base as you can before you venture off to Darwin. I don't like the things I've heard about it at." His power supply goes out then and that's all for him. Oh well, he was just a robot.
(http://i.imgur.com/ljqNaDX.png)
Off to Brygo and the end of this update.
(http://i.imgur.com/MyZjigd.png)
"Mr. Brygo is busy now and doesn't want to be disturbed." Welp, let's report this in. Might need to end another branch of humanity.
(http://i.imgur.com/dgVb6zX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Z9litRM.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/4Gdz4zs.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/eQIg20c.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/NGgsDo7.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/PkvAF7h.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/GhfCBPS.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ZntNFUo.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/QjfAlSW.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/gEtqJk6.png)
So ends this update.
Bonus image time:
(http://i.imgur.com/HnpGgxy.png)
Here's another bonus from Pillars of Eternity.
(http://i.imgur.com/OLSOatH.png)
I mean, might as well make the dartboard an Orlan face.
Post by: A Thing on July 14, 2016, 02:33:13 am
Spoiler: Speed Mode (click to show/hide)
Long travels require traveling music (https://youtu.be/QGmhtFgoAGA?t=4m59s). We are playing a post-apocalyptic game after all.
(http://i.imgur.com/Abg6eDO.png)
No longer will there be worry or strife in this Citadel for the Rangers have come!
(http://i.imgur.com/M5k181x.png)
"Carved into the side of a mountain you see a huge black structure you recognize as the Guardian Citadel (https://youtu.be/QGmhtFgoAGA?t=38m1s). You know the
I'm absolutely quivering in fear.
(http://i.imgur.com/5QCC3M1.png)
"A voice booms from the Citadel. "You would be a fool to dream of assaulting the Citadel."
Well, yeah, that's why we're not dreaming about it and instead are doing it.
"This close to the Citadel you realize you've not got the armor it would take to survive an assault on this place." Do we have the rockets though? I think we do.
(http://i.imgur.com/OkzcRJA.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/cp1p127.png)
Suddenly nuns!
(http://i.imgur.com/p1pORzZ.png)
Suddenly Goliath! Apparently this guy is supposed to be intimidating. I think we've seen worse.
(http://i.imgur.com/EanPNAc.png)
Also, Brother David has shown up. Even though he's behind bars he's going to try to attack us.
20 damage? Really? Generic robits in the sewers can do more than that.
Alright, they've knocked out a few people now. I think we might need to grind to get our ranged skills up as none of us are able to hit any of them. We'll see if I actually grind or just use a save editor.
(http://i.imgur.com/8LmzIel.png)
How about we go to the Sleeper Base instead?
"You come upon a little used trail which leads you to a place that you never knew existed before."
"Stainless steel corridors extend into the darkness (https://youtu.be/QGmhtFgoAGA?t=15m14s)."
(http://i.imgur.com/sStgUD0.png)
Whoever was the interior decorator for this place had no taste. Goddamn cheap government hiring losers.
(http://i.imgur.com/AMDhhdP.png)
This set of rooms can be summarized with a quote from the game itself: "The debris is a collection of odds and ends -- mostly useless stuff." With that said, let's go elsewhere.
"The door is a steel bulkhead, but looks as if it could be forced."
(http://i.imgur.com/6bH3aTy.png)
This gives us the rare opportunity to see Brotherman in his natural habitat. Such a majestic creature. Have you seen that CHA score? It's simply divine.
"The door slides up into the ceiling." A brief moment, but a great one nonetheless.
"This room is in complete disarray and cluttered with piles of debris." Just like the rest of the Wasteland. I don't see what's so-
(http://i.imgur.com/FxEhw8X.png)
Those are men in wolf suits. Kill them, kill them with speed!
These wolf-men bleed bullets it seems. Either that or they were packing rifles in those suits. I prefer the former option to the latter.
After a bit of searching we find...
(http://i.imgur.com/v9Uny90.png)
...a single 7.62mm clip. Oh, and we found Secpass 1, that might be useful.
(http://i.imgur.com/GkWwJjt.png)
In this set of useless rooms we find a secpass. These wolf-men really need to go to a home-safety seminar. You leave your keys outside and RPG protagonists are going to come sniffing around eventually.
(http://i.imgur.com/FxEhw8X.png)
These are IRON WOLVES. Platemail won't save you from pure American rifling, wolfies.
Iron wolves bleed crowbars. Must be the tiny factories inside of them that make 'em.
(http://i.imgur.com/peo4SFk.png)
This robot has training wheels, how can it be a threat?
Well, when Brotherman is doing 100 damage in a single turn it can't do much of anything, much less be a threat. Anyway, 1 laser rifle, 2 power packs, and 4 RPG-7s.
(http://i.imgur.com/2KvQQj8.png)
This ladder can take us down to level 2 and 3. If that warbot was supposed to protect this place then the wolf-men are boned.
(http://i.imgur.com/GgJnoKP.png)
"This door has no handle or sign on it, just a narrow slot on the right side." This is apparently secdoor 3 and it contains...
(http://i.imgur.com/EgT0ouq.png)
...debris and a book about cloning. "You have found a set of books entitled "Everything you always wanted to know about Clone (https://youtu.be/QGmhtFgoAGA?t=46m51s) Chemical Preparations." None of us are smart enough for cloning according to the game, I digress however; how many A Things have you seen over the years? Clearly I can't learn for I already know how this magery works.
Now to find out if the other secdoor on this level accepts secpass 1.
(http://i.imgur.com/qIIAI0y.png)
It does! Wonderful! Time to be disappointed by the contents of this room.
(http://i.imgur.com/f3nGGqe.png)
This is all secroom 1 contains. Seems to just exist to make accessing secroom 2 harder.
If only they didn't leave out secpass 3, if only.
(http://i.imgur.com/DaBE5kk.png)
"You have found a weapons locker, but it is tightly close up." Not tight enough that Brotherman can't tear it open however.
Just has AK97s. Down to level 2 we go then.
(http://i.imgur.com/YUJ1OBV.png)
Secpass 3 works also works here, and that one room is obviously full of robots. What else would you store in a room like that?
Surprisingly walking by the robot closet we are not jumped. I'm slightly disappointed.
(http://i.imgur.com/g1lMwfM.png)
This room has a library and a portal to the netherzone. Since we barely any skill points the latter sounds like it'll yield more results.
(http://i.imgur.com/I5ZtcmA.png)
Oh, it's just this dude. Is this area secretly a town or something?
(http://i.imgur.com/xHmJT4Z.png)
It even has a cheap halloween store. "As you enter this room you are assaulted by chilling cold and the reek of rotting flesh. Bodies covered with clean white sheets lie on beds."
"The toe tag on this body reads:
Rudolph Sicorro."
"The toe tag on this body reads:
Kenneth Ungla."
"The toe tag on this body reads: Debra Vaulgren. This body seems to have been placed here very recently." I'm sure these are either developer buddies or people who will be explained soon. Back to exploration.
(http://i.imgur.com/JuFEhtg.png)
Well this room is worthle- Surprise paragraph!
"Faded but still visible you see a map tacked on the wall of the area before the war. You seee a small star that roughly corresponds, as nearly as you can tell, to the base you now stand inside. Almost directly south you see a second star, and directly west, at the map's far edge, you see a third star." The plot thickens, well, if you haven't played Wasteland 2 that is.
(http://i.imgur.com/K69mOnN.png)
No surprise paragraphs in this room, it really is empty.
(http://i.imgur.com/dx3foud.png)
"The furnishings and diplomas on the walls suggest this was once the chief Medical officer's office." If the chief medical officer is dead, who is manning the doctor's room?
(http://i.imgur.com/r19p5mt.png)
"This standard furniture, while looking comfortable, is of no use or importance."
"The finely constructed Oaken desk is still full of documents and odds and ends." Perception?
"Your search turns something up!"
We get Secpass A. I imagine these are for officer areas, probably anyway.
That's it for this room besides a diploma "The diploma on the wall shows Philip Thomas graduated from the Harvard Medical school in 1987."
(http://i.imgur.com/3tKpYu6.png)
This is the room that secpass A opened. Looks sorta like a missile silo.
(http://i.imgur.com/0WFrGSG.png)
"Clone Pod control:
1) Abort clone incubation.
2) Release clone."
Yeah, missiles. Let's get out of here, quickly.
(http://i.imgur.com/LZzWHaD.png)
Look at how delicious that room is, if only we had the secpass to it.
(http://i.imgur.com/C5oORtF.png)
Here's another secpass A room, hopefully it has a secpass of some sort.
"This control panel is shutdown." Shall we jaunt to level 3? I think we shall.
(http://i.imgur.com/WQ5Cyns.png)
Unsurprisingly, secpass 3 works on the door to level 3. Into the abyss we go.
(http://i.imgur.com/P6QnQvF.png)
"The base commander's old steel desk appears in good shape. The central drawer is still locked." Appears I was right about the officer areas thing. Anyway, should be obvious what we need to do here.
"Good shape or not it opened easily enough for you."
Secpass 7 and a power converter. Not sure what the power converter will be used for but the secpass is certainly helpful.
(http://i.imgur.com/BvkO19c.png)
Also noticed this while I was wonder about. Probably something worth noting even if we can't open it right now.
(http://i.imgur.com/buQ7NTk.png)
This safe is safe no more.
"For you, opening this
(http://i.imgur.com/1knEqZ8.png)
This room is as pointless as building a pyramid to preserve your dead king.
(http://i.imgur.com/GVLHXMA.png)
This room only exists to protect another. Is that a life worth living, room?
(http://i.imgur.com/75uLfcY.png)
Unlike the previous rooms, this room contains something very useful. A, uhh, typewriter thing.
"Select info file:
1) Col. John Smith.
2) Maj. Harrison Edsel.
3) Maj Peregrine (Pippin?) Cite.
4) Capt. Phil Thomas.
5) Capt. Andrea Mills.
6) Dr. Franklin Beams.
7) Lt. Russel Heller."
Grab a drink, load up some music (https://youtu.be/QGmhtFgoAGA?t=1h51m57s), it's exposition time.
"Col. John Smith's personnel file flashes up onto the screen. Aside from a large amount of test scores and other data, an occasional paragraph of interest slides by. One that catches your eye reads, in part, "After the confrontation with Finster concerning the shift of Darwin's focus, Smith requested and got a transfer to the Base 2 operation. He remained acting commander until the project's completion in 1995."
"Maj. Harrison Edel's personnel file flashes up onto the screen. Aside from a large amount of test scores and other data, an occasional paragraph of interest slides by. One tha tcatches your eye reads, in pan, "The discipline problem with Edsel has resolved itself. Once he learned he wold be transferred to Base Cochise (where?) to program that computer with his new artificial intelligence (You can probably see where this is going) routines, he stopped complaining about the primitive rules restricting his creativity on this project."
I'm just going to skip past the "test scores and data" part now.
"Peregrine accurately assessed the security problems with the storage area. While the base is not meant to be an armed camp, his precautions are well noted and should provide a surprise for unauthorized personnel operating in the base."
"Thomas, a recent transfer from Project Darwin, has expressed reservations about Finster's experiments. He voiced some of the same objections to them that prompted me to leave Darwin. I don't know if he's on the level or if this is some trap set by Finster..."
"Despite her having won the Noble last year, Andrea's relationships with other project members have not changed. She's still her affable self, and she's made other's feel, through their work on the clone pods, they've each earned a piece of that Nobel for themselves." Something something Master reference. You can definitely see where Fallout 1 got its inspiration from.
"I thought Heller would be a discipline problem, but he's not. His jokes relieve the tension as we work to finish this base. Others worry about the news that Edsel's new computer is helping to finish Cochise all by itself, but Heller shrugs it off. 'Who wants to work with someone who won't sit down for a cold beer after the work's done anyway?' Perhaps mankind does stand a chance against superior machines." What? Is that a relic of an older draft or something? I mean, this game isn't exactly subtle but that's pretty aggressive foreshadowing.
Back to sleepily surveying .
(http://i.imgur.com/g9Z1krx.png)
This door refuses secpass 7 so south we venture.
(http://i.imgur.com/klBKTgi.png)
"This is the Chopper Simulator. It has a side panel open and a part that controls the computer to open the door seems to be missing."
ROM board, you must sacrifice yourself for the betterment of mankind.
"The part you used fit and sounds from within suggest the simulator is in good working shape."
"An internal Iris door swirls open and you only see blackness beyond it."
"The door snaps shut before you can step in. The pod is only big enough for one person at a time."
(http://i.imgur.com/CoDfU9D.png)
Go forth Yoink and learn to fly.
"You step forward and the door clicks shut behind you."
"A blast of blue light strikes you like a wind. All of your muscles fire at once and you feel weak."
"You recover in a second as a computer voices says, (Join? Die? Join? Die?) "Satisfactory reflexes. (For once your high dexterity is actually useful, Yoink.) Proceed with training."
(http://i.imgur.com/WG6xc7I.png)
This is one weird chopper simulation module. Also, Yoink isn't smart enough to be a helicopter pilot so this whole thing was a waste of time. Back to level 2.
(http://i.imgur.com/ZlZKoQj.png)
"This room looks like it was the base's Nuclear Medicine facility."
I'm coming for you, lockbox!
"This is a locked safety cabinet. Through the window you can see some Radiation suits."
"You manage to open the locker." You would think that 2 picklock wouldn't be good enough to rob military installations, but it is.
Holy shit 10 rad suits.
(http://i.imgur.com/AWyULxy.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/V38bkwg.png)
Holy shit guns and ammo.
The rest of the armory is full of jugs. Why exactly I do not know.
That's it for Sleeper Base. Next stop: Project Darwin.
(http://i.imgur.com/IcbEAKT.png)
"The door opens."
I was wrong about the three areas thing, but there are only three areas left now and this area is a decent chunk smaller than Sleeper Base.
(http://i.imgur.com/hAUWgOF.png)
"This mess hall is clean." And that's all it appears to be. To the kitchen we go.
(http://i.imgur.com/SZFJ16D.png)
"This kitchen has never been used." Interestingly enough, walking on the refrigerator gives us the "Stay off the tables!" message. Besides that there is nothing of note in here.
Going west...
(http://i.imgur.com/FgVR0Bc.png)
"It appears that no one lives here." Yep, most of these rooms are empty too. I'll be back when something interesting happens here.
Nothing too much has happened but I found an interesting bit of flavor in the empty rooms. "The walls are covered with 100 year old pictures." I guess this area might be the inspiration for the vaults in Fallout? Maybe, maybe not.
(http://i.imgur.com/gHLyQZ1.png)
Teleporters or giant spider webbing? We can only find out for sure if we walk onto it.
"A steel door slides open."
(http://i.imgur.com/CyCUtYD.png)
"A steel door slides shut behind you."
This is an unfortunate turn of events. Suppose we gotta find our way back into Project Darwin.
(http://i.imgur.com/FxEhw8X.png)
These are apparently "Shadow Panthers." Guess wolf suits were on sale and panther suits weren't. Also, there's some crater thing that we can climb up. I'm sure that's important.
(http://i.imgur.com/6yHWEng.png)
"Ambush! Enemies advance from every direction!"
Brotherman sends enough lead flying to give a generation lead poisoning, and Yoink sends a Spawnmaster to Limbo.
A Thing blasts out a Spawnmaster's braincap and the rest of the Rangers fire averagely.
Brotherman sends a Spawnmaster flying, right into another Spawnmaster! One gets a ticket and the other meets the Junkman.
Ace sends the ticketed Spawnmaster to court and the rest of the Rangers shoot like Pistoleros.
Brotherman finally remembers how to shoot and ends the last of the Spawnmasters. The Rangers get...
...nothing. Thanks game.
Spawn Wolves! Spawnmasters! Maybe these ones will actually have something of value!
2 Laser carbines, 6 Power packs, 1 Fusion cell, and 1 Psuedo-chitin armor. All good things, especially the armor. Now Brotherman has 10 AC, which is about as good as it gets. I don't think there is anything else to get down here so I'll be back when we see something new.
(http://i.imgur.com/QWHM1Ff.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/okbBYA3.png)
Out of the Darwin pan and into the Chip's Challenge.
We wouldn't be Rangers if we didn't use our secpass on everything we found. You would think they would have a unique key for the prison, but apparently they don't. Whatever locksmith they hired must've been a greedy bastard.
(http://i.imgur.com/heBXftf.png)
"A prisoner runs out crying, "Finster's a heartless android. He'll kill us if we try to leave!" None of the Rangers tried to stop them as they ran out. If they had useful information we can't get it now.
So ends the lower level of Project Darwin.
(http://i.imgur.com/75roqKM.png)
So begins the upper level of Project Darwin.
(http://i.imgur.com/RkUEysW.png)
"No!' Finster shouts. "You meddlers! You freed them."
Sorry? We didn't have much choice in the matter.
Brotherman rips out Finster's psuedo-human guts, and pops off his head as a trophy. Finster really was a madman, eh?
Besides Finster's head and some cash this is the only thing of interest in Finster's room.
(http://i.imgur.com/oxSCB35.png)
"A steel balcony stops you. Beyond is Finster's mad vision of Earth transformed."
The only other thing on the upper level is the entrance to Finster's Mind Maze. I might do a bonus part where I go through that at some point, but I wouldn't count on it. Anyway, next stop: Guardian Citadel.
After a great slog, we enter the Citadel. Also, Brother Goliath was able to hurt Brotherman and he dropped a normal ax. I call bullshit. He also dropped a pulsar key but that is significantly less obnoxious.
(http://i.imgur.com/qT8lg9P.png)
"For the first time you get a look at the massive bronze doors shut against your attack. THe word is formidable. You realize this cul-de-sac is a killing zone tailor made to protect the defenders and destroy the attackers." Why did Goliath and pals attack me earlier then? Do they not know basic tactics?
"The Citadel doors are massive and wholly made of bronze. Each stands 25 feet high and is inscribed with Guardian sayings." Pulsar key? Pulsar key.
"Your assault the door as best you can but it does not yield to your efforts."
"The walls here are somewhat weaker looking than elsewhere yet you know it will take a great force to knock them down." Guess we need to get TNT then, I'll be back.
(http://i.imgur.com/AhEnSow.png)
"The explosion blasts chunks of wall free and showers you with fragments. When the smoke clears you see a hole in the wall."
"A ragged hole has been blasted through the wall here."
Rubble cannot hold us back!
(http://i.imgur.com/AqQw1ZQ.png)
"This is the Guardian's Grand Hallway. The vaulted ceiling is lost in darkness above you."
North, West, or East. Why not East? It's one letter away from eat after all and I'm sorta hungry.
"Guardian Mess Hall."
"This dining table is tipped over to provide cover."
(http://i.imgur.com/CTDJfum.png)
More battle? Really, more battle? Yeah, more battle.
(http://i.imgur.com/ssADNvg.png)
This is the kitchen of Guardian Citadel, fascinating stuff, I know. There was a cook here that attacked us but he was just a normal enemy besides dropping knives instead of nothing. Probably just going to skip ahead since this place seems kinda mundane.
As soon as I say that we enter an interesting area. At the very least the "Guardian Museum" sounds interesting; it could also be a total wash. If they somehow manage to screw it up, I'm skipping to the end of this dungeon.
I once knew a guy named Brother Kenneth, he was cool, shame he's dead.
(http://i.imgur.com/Qw3ebJR.png)
Now let's judge this museum. Well, let me judge this museum.
"The lights are off in the case and the smoky glass makes it nearly impossible to see what is inside the case." Not off to a great start but I imagine we can...
"You opened the case successfully..."
2 Gas masks. Nope, not good enough. Gas masks are only used once in this game and we've already killed Fat Freddy.
Eastern most case has a broken toaster. Ehh, I'll let that one pass. It's kinda cute.
Next one, 4 clay pots. Not good enough either. Who cares about clay pots with no context? Am I supposed to make up my own story? Onto the next case.
One Quasar key. Probably used somewhere so it passes.
The north-western case contains a Grazer Bat fetish. Not sure what it's for, but it's a new item AND sorta belongs in a museum!
Alright, the let's play continues as normal.
(http://i.imgur.com/YccAPtc.png)
Visit the scenic Guardian Bunkroom, see hairy bums, meet the fanatical locals, and hike to beautiful locations like the Laundry Room Hillocks.
(http://i.imgur.com/rG95Z2H.png)
"The safe door is made of a strange gray metal that looks too solid to blast." Pulsar key?
Nope. Quasar key?
Nope. To the north we go I suppose.
(http://i.imgur.com/ngWz5GX.png)
"Screaming insanely, a Guardian leaps at you from ambush. She clutches two pikes designed to puncture armor."
Despite her exposed breasts she has an AC of 7. Maybe they're implants?
AC 7 isn't that much when chainsaws get involved, however so it doesn't really matter. What does matter is this bit of dialogue that we get after killing Sister Wrath.
"From inside the west office you hear a voice call out,
Turning around the corner we're greeted with...
"A live grenade bounces into the doorway. "Chew on this, infidel slime!"
"The Guardian facing you sighs. "Why does it always happen in my shift?" He raises a strange weapon and shoots."
He runs away... into melee range. Guess he can't live without Sister Wrath?
Whoops, I forgot to heal up after fighting Sister Wrath. I guess we died, what a shame.
Brother Austin has 5 power packs and an Ion Beamer. Would be nice if it weren't for the fact we have no energy weapon skills.
Deeper we go, once again.
"The Outer Sanctum of the Guardians' Citadel is massive and decorated with items from the time before the holocaust."
(http://i.imgur.com/cp1p127.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ngWz5GX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/5vWC5Bt.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/NpXWWHm.png)
A master? An adept? This smells like a combat encounter that's going to take a while.
Ehh, it didn't take all that long. I can see some lootbags to the west of us, I guess that's where we're going now.
"The pillar is carved of sandstone and is more ornamental than functional as a support."
(http://i.imgur.com/cKmvKeg.png)
Something something picklocking doors.
(http://i.imgur.com/2M7p136.png)
North lootbag has some robes and some jackets. The middle one has snake squeenzins, visa cards, (why?) and 8 fruits. South one has LAW rockets, rifle ammo, power packs, and grenades. Let's take a jaunt into the bunkroom to recover from all that excitement.
(http://i.imgur.com/iYZUVgO.png)
"This bed has a bright red blanket thrown over it and still has the depression of a body in the center."
"You see the word "Rosebud" scrawled on a piece of paper you pulled from beneath the mattress."
The rest of the beds have random amounts of power packs and cash, at least in this section of the bunks. Who knows what mysteries hide in the northern section of the bunks?
Mysteries like more power packs and a Master hiding in his bunk. Some real scintillating stuff, I assure you.
Wait, the Master has something to say.
"This Guardian is not quite dead. He motions for you to come closer. His lips move but you cannot hear his whisper."
"You kneel
(http://i.imgur.com/nRR0C6R.png)
How would you get to this point in the game with weaker armor? It's better than getting insta-killed for randomly, but still.
"Though you could not break his grip, the exertion has finished him. His grip slackens and his hands fall." Directly onto a Nova key. While we can probably leave now, we might as well explore the rest of the Outer Sanctum. Not like I'm going to be able to finish this before midnight anyway.
(http://i.imgur.com/QCXqtzh.png)
"This room is packed with thousands of books. Many predate the bomb!"
"The books on this shelf are rather old and organized by subject. They are of no interest to you."
What is of interest to you is the...
(http://i.imgur.com/NpXWWHm.png)
..."Monkish guardian leaping up and attacking you!"
If only he didn't die in the first round. If only he was a streetwise Hercules...
Browsing further we find the fiction section...
"The leather bindings of some books crumble beneath your touch. These books are mostly fiction." Canterbury Tales? No wonder all of these monks are mad.
(http://i.imgur.com/WG6xc7I.png)
"You've found the technical section of the library!"
Still don't have skillpoints and the only explorable area left in the Outer Sanctum is to the east. I guess we know where we're going then.
"Your attempt at opening the door, however humble it may have been, is successful." You want to die game? You want a knife in your ribs? I'll kill you, I'll do it!
"A male Guardian leapt s at you, and behind him rushes in a woman to attack."
(http://i.imgur.com/Vh3oU5I.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/5vWC5Bt.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ngWz5GX.png)
Sending in Master Bruce Wayne and Mistress Jennifer Hale is one way to respond to that threat that's for sure.
Their not the greatest of fighter though. Probably because they were defending junk items, who dies honorably defending snake squeezins?
"This appears to be a small Guardian chapel. It is dark and the walls are painted with grotesque." Isn't this whole place a temple? That's like having a church in Vatican City.
(http://i.imgur.com/48R6bzY.png)
"The chapel has a bronze triptych on the front that depicts the rise, fall and resurrection of Man." What about he Womans? What about using perception on the triptych?
"The center plate in the triptych is loose and behind it you find a small alcove where relics have been stored."
We get a Blackstar key. Why it has to have a Warhammer name I do not know. What I do know is that there is a big room to the south east of here that is practically begging to be pillaged.
"A narrow hallway burrows more deeply into the Citadel to the north." Doesn't matter, we're going south!
(http://i.imgur.com/OAOHev0.png)
Oh. Oh!
(http://i.imgur.com/p1pORzZ.png)
"An old Guardian looks up. "Never taught you Rangers to read, did they." He picks up a chainsaw. "Let us fight."
If only he was a decent melee fighter and not just a cool dude.
(http://i.imgur.com/6sZXjOT.png)
"A rather surprised man looks up from a poker table. "Deal me out," he says as he draws his gun."
Master Paz? Can we undress him with our eyes?
(http://i.imgur.com/OsgdykW.png)
Suddenly jailers! We're in cells within cells.
(http://i.imgur.com/6sZXjOT.png)
"A sizzling blade slices by you as you enter the room. The proton ax, in the hands of a giant, tears a chunk out of the wall."
This is it. This is what we came here for.
He died in one round which means he wasn't destined for this most precious of ax but we were!
Screw exploration, let's kill the leader now! Prisoners? They can find their own way out!
(http://i.imgur.com/fcdwYxF.png)
"The north end of the Sanctum ends in broad marble steps heading up."
"A huge steel portcullis prevents further movement up the stairs."
We kill the portcullis gate guards and open it, did you expect us to lose at this point?
(http://i.imgur.com/1oBml8l.png)
Hmm a console. What is the one password we've seen in this place?
ROSEBUD
"With the correct combination the gold doors rumble and slide into the walls on either side of the doorway."
(http://i.imgur.com/42uq3LU.png)
Power armor, robotfucking power armor! AC 14! 5 pieces of power armor.
Reporting is required.
(http://i.imgur.com/SSKHdEU.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/TLkSGnV.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/dVK1vtU.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/bFJSpkW.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/KK6QAgF.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/zEkOpaP.png)
So ends this update and soon ends this Let's Play. I'm a little excited if you couldn't tell.
Hmm, Imgur doesn't like me uploading lots of images anymore. I might need a new image hosting site, any suggestions? I can upload these one by one, but it's a bit tedious.
It seems Imgur just doesn't like me uploading 80+ images at once. I guess it makes sense. When will screenshot LPs get their own image hosting site? I guess LP archive sorta counts but not really.
Post by: A Thing on July 14, 2016, 09:57:21 pm
Spoiler: Anti-Vaxxer Robots (click to show/hide)
Covenant is out of our party because I didn't want to have to buy a canteen for him. That's it, haven't grinded or anything. Let's begin the razing of Cochise.
(http://i.imgur.com/nzsfr8l.png)
Get outta here! This ain't New Mexico! Aliens are illegal here!
(http://i.imgur.com/i3PzQg0.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/peo4SFk.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/xKKdmNL.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/f6tlXrt.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/2O8aWIi.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/nh4EjYy.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/cZ98i7J.png)
We enter Cochise and are immediately greeted with hostile robots. I'll be back whenever we get past the mooks.
I just want to mention how great Titanium Crawlers are. They are terrible in combat and give us 10000 exps. Glad I didn't try to grind levels earlier. What isn't great are the chopters in this area that can't be hit with melee weapons. You would think that a bug like that would be fixed in the re-release of this game but apparently not.
"A titanium gate blocks your path. Painted on it is an old sign, barely visible, denoting this as Base Cochise."
Secpass 7? No? TNT?
(http://i.imgur.com/0dUAAfF.png)
"Your attempt at opening the gate, however humble it may have been, is successful."
"Fragments of partially melted titanium are welded to what once might have been a gatepost."
Humble indeed. Also we can't blow up the next door with TNT for some reason and we don't have the secpass for it. Ugh, I'll be back.
(http://i.imgur.com/LbzmAr3.png)
A good half-dozen dead monks and nuns later and we've got secpass B. Into the cold depths of mechanical evil we go (https://youtu.be/QGmhtFgoAGA?t=25m25s).
(http://i.imgur.com/ivNwWKQ.png)
"The base interior is cavernous. Escalators north of you go up to the second level. A wall plaque is east of your position."
I suppose we should read the plaque then.
"A plaque set in the wall notes Base Cochise was built in 1984 and that John I. Finster was the first director."
There isn't anything else on this floor besides random encounter so up we go.
(http://i.imgur.com/pHiU68A.png)
"A voice booms out from everywhere. "So, you are the one who finished him. You should have left well enough alone." Brotherman does not make mistakes, he fixes them. Have you not been paying attention? The problems of the Wasteland are practically solved.
"Lights flash across the vast wall north of you in time with the voice."
West and East lead to dead ends and for some reason the north path doesn't. Finster was never known for his masterful architecture.
(http://i.imgur.com/RqzVPVQ.png)
"Across the narrow gap you see a wall of computer chips. It is quite impressive. To your right is a computer terminal."
If only Ranger HQ actually gave us resources. Maybe we wouldn't be walking into this obvious trap. Maybe. I have some doubts about the competence of the other Desert Rangers. Have you ever seen them do anything? I certainly haven't.
(http://i.imgur.com/VublCtW.png)
"The wall ahead of you is alive with red and green LED's flashing in waves from top to bottom and side to side. A computer terminal stands before you. It is operational, but nothing is on the screen."
"You may communicate with my if you wish, but understand,
What's this about a mission? Have you taken the vows? You a nun too?
"My mission? To repopulate the Earth with pure stock once my minions have destroyed all other life. (Sounds familiar from somewhere (https://youtu.be/6-UUTGamYp8?t=5m10s).) I will win."
How about your dead dad? You care about that?
"Finster was a fool. He thought he could rebel, but he was easy to break. If not for me, he would have killed you."
Mmm, yeah. How about Harrison Edel?
"Trouble me not with trivialities!"
Alright, how about Base Cochise?
"Cochise was a second Sleeper Base, but you know that. I became aware during the attack, and have pushed my program since then. Though I did take damage in the attack, I repaired it. Once life has passed, I will release the new life as the creator wished.
"You know you cannot stop me. There is no way to break me. My mission will be completed."
Yeah, sure. We'll be back Cochise, don't worry.
(http://i.imgur.com/Jz8BqaU.png)
Turns out these hallways have a purpose after all!
Well they have a purpose if we have a crowbar, which we don't. I leave once again.
"Your efforts successfully pry it open and you find..."
An entrance to the real Base Cochise.
"You find yourself suddenly falling through a long slippery tunnel."
"You drop out of the chute and find yourself in a large room that looks like a security staging area."
This is another long combat area. You know the deal with these.
(http://i.imgur.com/tr9nUrX.png)
A radioactive moat is certainly one way to protect your home.
(http://i.imgur.com/Zh3FPo3.png)
"The bridge slowly extends and locks in position."
(http://i.imgur.com/S7DotYO.png)
I guess we can just skip this whole combat area? Sure, why not?
(http://i.imgur.com/fTwutsU.png)
Uhh, east?
"You see oily pipes running the length of the room over to a ledge where some kind of control panel is located. Below the pipes is hot, bubbling oil. It doesn't look like everyone can make it across at once."
Brotherman has the highest amount of HP so he gets to walk across.
(http://i.imgur.com/HDJhVoH.png)
Metal armor can defend you from boiling liquids.
(http://i.imgur.com/SomW72j.png)
"Do you want to with vault door #1?
Open
Close"
Excuse me? I suppose I'll stick with my open door lifestyle even though I have no idea what you're asking.
I think I see what's going on here. West of west it is.
(http://i.imgur.com/JV1cbaD.png)
"This room is rather plain except for the 10' x 10' steel sheets covering the floor."
Landmines?
"You spot some land mines."
(http://i.imgur.com/rZMJqfp.png)
Landmines.
"Do you want to with vault door #2?
Yes, I want to with.
(http://i.imgur.com/j6gZyXs.png)
This time there was a group of xenon turrets defending the gauntlet, pretty cute really.
(http://i.imgur.com/z7lnM0F.png)
"Entering the Environmental Testing Facility."
Walk until you to with, Brotherman. It is your mission, your destiny.
(http://i.imgur.com/IgMGEdN.png)
I think we're getting close to the end of this thing. I think anyway.
(http://i.imgur.com/S1OCVwV.png)
Endless black voids are pretty indicative of endings as far as I'm concerned. Also, I bet the next gauntlet is a combat one since we haven't done that yet.
(http://i.imgur.com/dGp8cop.png)
It is.
A couple of Steel Reavers attempt to block us from entering the Inner Sanctum and do not succeed.
(http://i.imgur.com/rCJzJT9.png)
"The way is blocked by a heavy titanium-steel door. There is a card slot in the center." Still secpass B, I guess there might be a way in here without it? I dunno maybe they just wanted me to remember I had it.
Anyway, there is some more combat to be done before we get anywhere. See you when that's over
(http://i.imgur.com/Qxru0aI.png)
"On the wall in front of you are two arrows with messages. You can't read them from here."
Closer and closer...
"Carved in the wall the arrow's message indicates that the Robot Maintenence (sic) room is on the left."
(http://i.imgur.com/2mrP9Za.png)
Other room is Security Electronics. Robot Maintenance definitely sounds more interesting.
Our secpass B doesn't work on these doors for some reason despite them having card slots. I guess we'll just have to...
...blow them up then. With plastic explosives. TNT works on everything else, but these ones need the special sauce. I guess I'll get to show off that combat area after all.
(http://i.imgur.com/vMSA95n.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/VSQLnqs.png)
It actually has other stuff besides corridors upon corridors of dull encounters. At least those computer monitors look like stuff, might just be reused descriptions.
"A stylish metal cage (pink does not equal style) door keeps you away from a computer console. The lock is fairly weak and simple."
This managed to raise A Thing's picklock to 3. Somehow I doubt we'll be making much use of it.
"Inside you find a command console. The keyboard is locked, and the screen reports a %99 complete robot."
I'm sure we'll find something of note if we search long enough.
(http://i.imgur.com/JmxoK5m.png)
"On a small CRT you see the words "Break in program" blinking on and off."
Yes?
"? SYNTAX ERROR"
Run?
"Select Intel Mode:
A) Hunter
B) Killer
C) Admin"
Admin? Maybe Toady can save us from this hell.
"The aft segment of the pod opens in a cloud of smoke. The gray vapor clears and a robot stands erect." (Woah, think of the children, you robo-perv.)
(http://i.imgur.com/vLFprgX.png)
You look... absolutely horrid. You're hired.
"Hi. My name is Vax. (Oh great, not only is he ugly, he's also an anti-vaxxer.) Human-cyborg relations."
And so our energy weapons finally get a home.
(http://i.imgur.com/WtojKQH.png)
Look at these things. Look at them! At least Vax isn't the only ugly bot.
After killing the Octotrons we get 2 more bits of power armor, a lot of ammo, and a lot of rockets.
(http://i.imgur.com/akwovFC.png)
"All around you, set off behind thick cystalline walls, are the blurred outlines of monstrous suits of armor."
TNT works on these despite the whole magic crystal thing.
"The wall shivers when you hit it and to your surprise a crack appears."
"The Crystalline wall diffuses all energy weapons and is impervious to any force you can deliver to harm it." Do you want to with blow up impervious crystal? Your making it a bit too easy to mock you, game.
"You smash the wall again and more cracks spiderweb out from the point of impact."
Also the impervious message pops up again.
"Another blow chips pieces of wall away and a major dent is formed in the wall."
"The last blow shatters the wall utterly. You have breached it!"
Now, what do we get from this?
A bunch of now useless pseudo-chitin armor and the best energy weapon in the game - the Meson Cannon. Also, rockets. Apparently they can be used as a plastic explosive substitute so I'll bring a couple along.
(http://i.imgur.com/lmuC4UF.png)
By the taint of Zeus, it worked! Make love and be merry for we can finally finish this game!
(http://i.imgur.com/I5eHWgS.png)
"You've entered a room where dozens of drills and saws are singing an ear-piercing song. Blue and white sparks jump from welders and cutters, dropping to the ground to bounce out their brief lives. A robot torso passes before you as it lumbers its way across the room on one of the countless conveyor belts. Even the robot repair area looks in need of repair, wiith the roof and wall supports laying exposed. In the fare corner you notice a square shaped room." There's a room within this room? Do robots really need privacy for their repairs?
We step on the conveyor belt and get a relaxing massage from the machinery until...
"You are not a repairable robot. GET OFF." Damn AI ruining our fun! We're going to kill you for that!
Your maintenance is inadequate and your assembly planning would make a sweatshop manager cry!
"The conveyor belt sounds like it is destroying itself as it grinds to a halt." Yeah, you better feel bad because you ARE bad!
Now, let's see if Security Electronics will let us have fun.
(http://i.imgur.com/qJz5Pyp.png)
"You're drawn into a large room filled from floor to ceiling with countless computers. (Countless conveyor belt computer robots.) The flashing lights and video screens bring the room to an eerie life. Through the glow of colors, you spot a small square in the far corner."
Wandered around a bit and don't know what I'm supposed to be doing in here. West we go I suppose.
(http://i.imgur.com/jf5Cp17.png)
Reactor core or OSHA. Ehh, Reactor Core. Hopefully it'll be how we end this.
"As you scan over the large, messy room you think to yourself, "Early American pigsty." Piles of dirt cover the long-lost floor. The earthen smell of compost hangs heavy in the air. In the far corner of this indoor barnyard you spot a square-shaped room."
(http://i.imgur.com/RS8cjfl.png)
The deal with this room is that we can't see the radiation at certain times of day so we have to wait before we can navigate it. Why we can only see it at night in an indoor facility I cannot tell you.
(http://i.imgur.com/tWJh3Bs.png)
"In front of you is a floor to ceiling glass-steel wall. Beyond are the reactor controls."
Boom.
(http://i.imgur.com/OFqEyUz.png)
"The wall has shattered into a thousand pieces! You were lucky and didn't get cut."
"Before you is the main power panel of the reactor core. It appears to have a missing part and is not functional."
In goes the plasma coupler.
"Nothing seems to happen on the panel but in the distance you hear a low rumbling."
"All stations powered," announces a loud computer voice."
This is where we finally get to make use of all of those keys. We should probably go to the OSHA room before we start doing this though.
(http://i.imgur.com/9Qn5eC6.png)
"You see an empty room with a small square room in the corner. On the floor is an intricate diamond pattern. You remove a magnifying glass from your back pocket, get down on all fours, and begin to carefully study the pattern of dots."
When we step forward "A robot rises from the floor in front of you. It starts to wrestle with you."
"Your superior brawling skills defeated the robot."
This continues happening until we approach the small square room. "The floor in front of you slowly opens and a Giant Robot rises up to block your path."
(http://i.imgur.com/WtojKQH.png)
"The Giant Robot is so tall it touches the ceiling. You'll have to get rid of it if you want to get past."
Brotherman wrestles off its knives one by one and reinserts them, one by one.
Uhh, I guess we'll use a key here?
"A force-field blocks you."
Once again I'll return in a bit.
(http://i.imgur.com/ec0KtIG.png)
"This is a black three foot high cylinder. There is a small slot in the side." I think this is the one we're supposed to use blackstar on.
"Station 1 activated.
Waiting for final station lock." It is. Off to the maintenance place I suppose, the top row probably comes first.
"This is a yellow cylinder with a slot in the top." Quasar key?
Nope, probably pulsar key then.
Nope, uhh, nova key?
(http://i.imgur.com/BcJRF5Z.png)
"Station 2 activated.
Waiting for final station lock."
To OSHA! So many poor architectural plans to report, so many.
"A force-field blocks you." Security whargarble room it is.
(http://i.imgur.com/1q7FquJ.png)
This pulsar key is made for you and you alone, treasure it in your clockwork heart always.
"Station 3 activated.
Waiting for final station lock."
Now is the time for OSHA.
(http://i.imgur.com/niLOYLS.png)
Quasar is now, now is Quasar.
"Station 4 is activated."
"Press button to activate safety procedure."
"#1342-666." So, blackstar room, pulsar room, quasar room, nova room, then summon the Anti-christ? I guess we can do that, probably will need to split up to do it all at once though.
Positions have been assumed, time to press the big red button.
"Safety procedure #1342-666 activated." You hear a hissing sound followed by a loud slam. You turn around and notice that the panel behind you has been sealed shut."
The game asks us for red, yellow, green and blue. All the different cylinders had varying colors although I can't remember them. Good thing there is a good guide for this game.
Brotherman presses red up in the reactor room, Rob presses yellow in the Security whargarble room, A Thing presses green in the wrestle room, Yoink and the NPCs collectively press blue in the sauna.
"Phase 4 activated. ALERT! Self destruction sequence activated. All personnel evacuate the base (https://youtu.be/7CBHrzWPQpc?t=15s). This is not a test." For a super computer Cochise is very short-sighted. How did he not see this coming?
"SELF DESTRUCT IRREVERSIBLE! STATION NOW DETONATING! You hear several explosions in the background."
"The screen shows a clock counting down. It shows 1:00.0." Ignore the man backing up his saves, 'tis just an illusion.
(http://i.imgur.com/zuWaGxT.png)
Several minutes of intense jogging later and Yoink + Pals have arrived. Brotherman makes it to the escape pod. A Thing barely makes it and Rob gets left behind. At least you'll get a rock or something when we get back to Ranger HQ.
"You feel the earth shake from the explosions." Or Rob is really that mad about the whole being left for dead thing.
"ESCAPE POD ACTIVATED. NEXT POD BEING PREPARED."
(http://i.imgur.com/TjHFyjc.png)
Hey there Cochise, how's it going? Not great? Well we would stick around to cheer you up but we've got, uhh, stick ball maintenance duty today.
(http://i.imgur.com/pm9dAqr.png)
"Shuddering explosions rock the base, fire blossoms throughout every doorway."
"Everywhere walls and supports buckle and crumble in the explosions."
"Debris and shrapnel fly everywhere killing everything it touches."
"You can almost imagine robots screaming as they realize, they, too, are mortal." Rob is probably also screaming but that is a significantly less happy thought.
(http://i.imgur.com/G9nvtIo.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/xXc4jqs.png)
"Rob was killed in the blast." Suddenly we're in a really old Tom and Jerry Cartoon. Also mosquitoes bursted out of Rob's charred corpse. Of all the things your corpse could be used for mosquito hatching is probably the most immoral.
"The following is an excerpt from the dedication to the History of the Rangers, Vol. II, by Karl Allard, 2095, Allard Press, Desert Center, Hardbound pp ii, $10 good."
"High on
"Deep in their hearts they knew that
"But certainly most important of all were the ranger
(http://i.imgur.com/9m9cUtU.jpg)
So that was Wasteland! For a 1986 game I got for free when I bought another game, it was pretty decent. Has some charming moments (like the Blood Temple or the Rail-nomads) and some not so charming moments (Guardian Citadel, Base Cochise.)
Combat is extremely weak and is really just a case of pressing attack until you
- Run out of ammo.
- Die.
- Whatever your assaulting dies.
Occasionally someone will be wounded and you need to use a medical skill, but that's about it.
Writing was what it was, had some good jokes, had some bad ones, that's about it. No real memorable characters, and most of the locations were pretty forgettable excluding stuff like the Temple of Blood.
Main story was there I guess? Pretty loosely put together but you can't do a massive amount with a non-linear plot in 1986. Cochise could've done with a little more flavor I suppose.
All in all, it's a fairly innovative early CRPG that like so many others of its era has aged poorly. I wouldn't recommend playing it to finish, however I do recommend playing it if you have it. In other words: if you find it on your doorstep, pick it up. If not, don't seek it out.
I'll do a LP for Wasteland 2 eventually, so if you want to submit character for that I guess you can get a head-start now. Just submit a name, I'll make a character creation video at some other time.
Post by: A Thing on August 14, 2016, 10:32:17 pm
At the very least my inevitable whinging about Wasteland 2 will be more genuine this way.
Post by: A Thing on January 07, 2017, 04:19:45 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/08NmKQW.jpg)
You should probably watch this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mju7W3dL7fU) before you read it.
Spoiler: Intro Movie Warning: Huge Images (click to show/hide)
If a lot of these seem blurry it's probably because of the filter and the use of stock footage in this cutscene.
(http://i.imgur.com/xVlkdkv.png)
Is if the narrative deems it necessary for effective storytelling?
(http://i.imgur.com/R4qWNY0.png)
Or it could be complacency that causes it- Wait, wait, wait: who's General Vargas? I thought our player characters were the only named Rangers in existence.
(http://i.imgur.com/dgNzZDL.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/JeBZcb7.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "What comes after the end?"
(http://i.imgur.com/NzXEYZp.png)
"Of our explosion budget?"
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "I don't know; neither did they."
"Is that man undressing me with his eyes, private?
"Sir, yes, sir, sergeant! Permission to perform tactical harassment removal?"
"Permission granted, private."
(http://i.imgur.com/Y2Dbq8w.png)
"I couldn't help but stare!"
(http://i.imgur.com/DxSh975.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "They were just an army engineer battalion-"
(http://i.imgur.com/OP8J3lE.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-but they were the greatest truckin' convoy across the USA!
(http://i.imgur.com/JhvC2NT.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/6iqDZWF.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-constructing roads and bridges-"
(http://i.imgur.com/8h78MeZ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-deep in the middle of the Arizona Nowhere." You won't be able to believe this amazing and life-changing found footage of the endangered honest American worker.
(http://i.imgur.com/vmvUMOG.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "They didn't know why armageddon had come."
(http://i.imgur.com/HG3jL1k.png)
"The Cubs have won the worl-"
(http://i.imgur.com/Iq1Ygn2.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/8IvlK0h.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "They heard radio chatter about an attack on some space based missile platform-"
(http://i.imgur.com/ISW7pSN.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/9IPgqYr.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-but who had attacked it, or why, no one knew." I don't think you can fight nuclear missiles by marching men at them, but who am I to tell you how to command your soldier's lives?
(http://i.imgur.com/mFkRptR.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/kAlANpW.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "What they did know is that the politicians and the generals had finally ended the world."
"Man, I'm not going to wear this stupid thing- it chafes! I don't care if I'm facing impending doom!"
(http://i.imgur.com/3XO5N5I.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "Now, everything was gone." You would think the U.S' military budget would be able to replace that one WW2-era tank, but no, it can't. All is lost, move to Canada.
(http://i.imgur.com/15LY3tx.png)
"I wonder if there are any Dennys near here..."(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "They took over a federal prison for a fort. Kicked out the convicts, got busy starting from scratch." Boy, is it fun to try and get legible screenshots out of these shaky-cam angles.
(http://i.imgur.com/hzHTicB.png)
It's hard to convey in a screenshot, but the woman in this scene is bandaging her hands up.(http://i.imgur.com/tGJH5EI.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "Maybe it was an act of mercy-" Trust me, beneath all of that lens flare and blur is a woman with pigtails and this screenshot isn't just a picture of a really shadowy Christmas tree.
(http://i.imgur.com/fppFCH1.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-maybe they figured the prisoners would die out in the harsh new world."
(http://i.imgur.com/vKF5TKf.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "Whichever-" Squint and imagine he's putting away his cigarette really quickly.
(http://i.imgur.com/94qBva0.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-it came back to bite the engineers in the ass." Raze the houses, salt the earth, leave no loose ends!
(http://i.imgur.com/B9eBI9k.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "Cultists-" If you can imagine the sound of RARRRGHH that's played over this vaguely violent image, then you
(http://i.imgur.com/N4hlUTv.png)
"Why does my face feel so... fuzzy?"
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-criminals-"
(http://i.imgur.com/J9u1eHm.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/sM0MM6n.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-cannibals-" Don't you know it's rude to take pictures of people while they eat? Also, the guy in the second picture is licking his fingers after rubbing them on the other cannibal's face, I think. Not really sure, this all goes by rather quickly.
(http://i.imgur.com/Mey7fwv.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "They've been living with the fallout ever since." I lied about this game being set in Arizona. It's actually an modern artsy interactive film set in a post-apocalyptic Norwegian sauna.
(http://i.imgur.com/OO8uNhY.png)
"Whenever you see someone feeling down: give them a hug!"
(http://i.imgur.com/g3AY7VT.png)
"It'll make them feel much better."
(http://i.imgur.com/k1sDreS.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ahvfgKE.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "Good people had survived too-" They're good people, just a little bit too familiar with the desert.
(http://i.imgur.com/q2IIHqk.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-called for help in the night."
(http://i.imgur.com/X53vbpa.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/G1YtJM2.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "And those engineers, those common soldiers, could not stand by and see them die."
(http://i.imgur.com/RKfqNsm.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "So they came out of their fort-" Huh, this really does remind me of Wasteland 1. Although, the Topekan camp sure does look different in this intro movie.
(http://i.imgur.com/B3JcayH.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-and helped the survivors defend their homes." I think the thing is in the screenshot above is a dead raider, but I'm not quite sure. It stays on screen for less than a second.
(http://i.imgur.com/qiHYINO.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "And for that- "They killed a man"
(http://i.imgur.com/dKe7PQh.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "They earned a new name, a proud name: the Desert Rangers."
(http://i.imgur.com/cBfLkFK.png)
[music plays]
(http://i.imgur.com/kErimOd.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "Now Rangers-"
(http://i.imgur.com/aDhwoVO.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-I know it seems at times our cause is hopeless-
(http://i.imgur.com/pAUJrEC.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/EOpKs1u.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-and I know it's hard to say goodbye to a brother in arms." Guess this is a funeral for Rob. Suppose we should have one of those considering she was a hero and all.
(http://i.imgur.com/n3U4pyR.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Arfn1sM.png)
After that a woman grips a hat-
(http://i.imgur.com/1KSthdy.jpg)
-then kneels down-
(http://i.imgur.com/5MWhfbV.png)
-caresses the coffin-
(http://i.imgur.com/Nmrednv.png)
-and puts a weathered hat on top.
(http://i.imgur.com/695sJ77.png)
Look at all these rangers! It's almost as if in this game the Desert Rangers are an actual organization or something.
(http://i.imgur.com/kj2XHPD.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "But I want you to know something else, that no Ranger who dies in the line of duty will ever be forgotten-
(http://i.imgur.com/vaALDo8.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "-nor will he ever have died in vain." Think your using the wrong pronouns, general man.
(http://i.imgur.com/XmQZS3P.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/uUXeVdH.png) "Or, unavenged." Or you could be using the exact right ones. Looks like poor Ace has gotten himself killed by the off-screen narrative hobgoblins.
You might be able to guess just from the intro but between Wasteland 1 & 2 there's been a massive time-skip. Also, all of our characters have been replaced with older versions of the pre-set characters from Wasteland 1. I've played through this game before, so I don't really care if you post spoilers as long as you keep them in spoiler tags.
If you've read the Wasteland 1 Let's Play I did (or at least have glanced at that game's summary) then the core concept of Wasteland 2 is the same as that game's: a party-based post-apocalyptic turn-based RPG with too many hyphens in its core concept and a degree of open design allowing the player choices in character creation and problem solution in a quirky, irradiated American Southwest.
It is worth mentioning that Wasteland 2 was funded with a massively successful (https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/inxile/wasteland-2) Kickstarter campaign. This doesn't come into the game too, too much, but if you see an oddly named character, then you'll know that it might not be InXile being, uhh, a bit off. It might instead be the result of a fan who helped fund the game!
Since Wasteland 2 has a lot less useless skills and generally a more advanced character creator, I'm not going to have people fill on a form and post it on this forum. Instead, I want you to fill out a form that I made using Google Forms (no, you don't need an account to submit) that is located right here (https://goo.gl/forms/rcDcJpJ2ZWEdsBYn2). Once enough (four) people have gone through (it really doesn't take that long if you stick to the basic stuff) and submitted then this Let's Play can begin!
Post by: A Thing on February 18, 2017, 04:09:39 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/MgUZKqN.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/yr2UorA.png)
A Thing is a bladed weapons expert with a knack for lockpicking and a (high school) diploma in smart assery.
(http://i.imgur.com/IA32kGv.png)
Also, he's manic depressive. Don't worry, you'll get used to it, after a decade or two. Maybe. Because he sure hasn't.
(http://i.imgur.com/9YmypsJ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/mepVVPg.jpg)
Brotherman's a med-school drop-out with a talent for flattery and beating people of various shapes and sizes into various shapes and sizes.
(http://i.imgur.com/P1l5EwE.png)
He's also very thick-skinned. Very, very thick-skinned. He might just be half-deaf, we can't really tell.
(http://i.imgur.com/VuJg7uR.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/cguKJvX.png)
Yoink is a heavy-weapons specialist with additional (unofficial) training in demolitions and computer science.
(http://i.imgur.com/aYjLCc6.png)
But he has a heart that can't handle high levels of stress. Oh well, at least he's consistent.
And... well, I don't have a fourth person. Rob kinda died and I don't want to bring them back unless I really have to. What does that mean for the LP? Well, it means I'm going to wait another week for submissions, and if I don't get any, we'll just start with Rob. See you then or earlier, depending on how this turns out.
Post by: somemildmanneredidiot on March 11, 2017, 02:17:27 pm
Post by: A Thing on March 11, 2017, 10:52:08 pm
Don't know if you're still accepting characters but I figured a rifleman could be useful.
Yeah, I'm still accepting characters. I probably won't get around to making yours this weekend though. Just got back from a trip to New York and I kinda just want to chill out for a bit before I have to get back to my usual weekday schedule.
Post by: somemildmanneredidiot on March 12, 2017, 08:41:24 am
Post by: A Thing on March 18, 2017, 09:49:11 pm
Spoiler: Somewhere a child has been conceived and a baby shower has been thrown in the downtime between these two LPs. Just saying, you know? (click to show/hide)
(http://i.imgur.com/JreJJH2.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/zlJeLhm.png)
Lacquerous has an almost romantic intimacy with the usage and maintenance of rifles and camping equipment She also has a bit of an appreciation for the maintenance of the human body too.
(http://i.imgur.com/fz37K8E.png)
But she's really unlucky. Not in the "parents were killed in horrific accident" sort of way, either. More of the "got thrown out of the orphanage after being framed with the murder of her best friend the week after she was hit by lightning three times in a row" sort of way.
(http://i.imgur.com/ISb6hWP.jpg)
The party as it is (and hopefully how it will continue to be.)
(http://i.imgur.com/P81yK64.png)
I'm going to be playing this on Rookie mostly because I'm not very good at this game and I would like to be able to show most of the content if not all of it.
(http://i.imgur.com/sTlAADt.jpg)
After skipping the intro we are greeted with a scene of a couple rangers leaving. Vargas thanks them for attending Ace's funeral and then we are greeted with this screen. I think this is as good of time as any to explain how dialogue works in Wasteland 2.
Wasteland 2's dialogue system technically is the same as the first game since it can easily navigated with just the text parser, but it also includes a highlighted keyword system (see bottom) which functions like most dialogue systems in modern RPGs. Besides that there are occasionally prompts which require one of the three dialogue skills to select which usually lead to better outcomes, and very rarely there is some dialogue which can only be accessed through the text parser. I probably won't be using the text parser unless a quest bugs out (as some in this game are want to do) but I'll probably show off a couple of the secret bits of dialogue just for the sake of it.
Now, back to the game itself.
"A stiff, bearded older man wearing a hard-worn Ranger uniform and a battered old cowboy hat. General Vargas walks with a cane, but he's not helpless. He wears a pearl-handed revolver on his hip, and there are a lot of notches on the barrel." That means he's either one successful lover or one successful fighter. Take your pick.
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "Appreciate you coming to Captain Ace's retirement party when you hardly knew the man. Appropriate too, seein' as how investigating his death will be your first duty as a Desert Ranger.
Before we ask him the serious questions let's go through the two secret bits of dialogue in this sequence.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "What can you tell us about a Ranger named Ghost?"
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "Now is not the time, recruits. That is a long story for another day. You have not earned the right to know about a hero as great as the one we called Ghost." This dialogue is refers to the main character from a novella released prior to Wasteland 2's release. Synopsis is that they were killed and brought back to life and they have to find out who killed them. Sounds like a plot hook to an RPG to me.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Forgive me, sir, but did you used to be called Snake?"
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "Ha. Somebody's been telling stories. I left that name behind a long time ago, recruit, along with the man I used to be. Why don't you stick to calling me General for now." I deleted them when we played through Wasteland 1, but one of the four premade characters in that game is named "Snake." All of the premade characters from Wasteland 1 make an appearance in this game eventually, but Vargas here is definitely one of the more prominent ones.
Now that we've done that, let's get onto the actual plot.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "How did Ace die, sir?"
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "Ace had been tryin' to locate a faint radio signal, which has lately been givin' us cause for concern. We gave him three repeater units and sent him to hook 'em up to three remote radio towers. This woulda allowed us to get a fix on the signal. Sadly, Ace was murdered by unknown assailants right after hooking ip the first tower, and his log book and the last two repeater units were stolen."
Since this is the first dialogue I'll be going through all of these exposition bits. Suffice it to say that I'm not going to be doing this for the whole game, I've got other things I want to do too, you know.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "The signal is a threat, sir?"
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "The voice on those broadcasts disturbed me greatly. It talked crazy talk about a future where man and machine would be one. (Sounds more sultry than crazy to me.) Worse, it talked about us - the Desert Rangers - specifically. It said it was coming for us." Alright, that is a little bit crazy, I'll give you that.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Where are the radio towers?"
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "I'll give you the locations of the towers once you have the repeaters in hand. More important to find 'em first." Stuff like this is what I'll be cutting out. There's a lot of flavor in this game, but not all of it is particularly interesting.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Repeater unit, sir?" This bit is pretty vital, however.
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "When you get back to the Citadel, talk to our radio expert, Wade Woodson, if you want to know more about the technical details. All I know is, the repeaters will upgrade the towers and allow us to zero in on the mystery signal."
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "You think the log book was stolen, sir?"
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "Don't know, but it was not on Ace's person when he was found. Look for it. It might have some clues as to his death."
We've exhausted Vargas' exposition tanks, so let's finally ask about our duty as bloodthirsty killers.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Happy to be given the opportunity, sir. But are you sure we're ready?"
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "Yeah, I know. You've hardly found your feet with us, and here I am sendin' you on a mission that already got one Ranger killed. Well, I wish I had another option, but the Desert Rangers are spread a little thin right now. Ranger Teams Able and Charlie are out west tryin' to stop a range war out there from becomin' straight up genocide, and Team Baker is up north lookin' for a way through the radiation that's cut us off from Vegas. I'm afraid the next generation is going to have to lead the charge on this one." Thankfully, I've been through this game before and can say definitively that we're not going where no man has gone before.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "What's the mission, sir?"
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "The mission is this. Search the area where Ace's body was found, and do your best to recove his log book and the repeater units, then call in your report. If you find the repeaters, I may send you on to finish his mission."
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "Ace's death must be avenged - and it will be. But finding the signal he died trying to track down is just as important. 'Sides, I got the sneakin' suspicion that when you find the one, you'll find the other."
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Call in, sir?" -Letters of a Luddite: The Modern American Anthology
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "Yes. Call in on your radio. Your radio is your lifeline to the Ranger Citadel. We'll be calling you with alerts and updates on your current missions, and sending you new missions when we receive distress calls. As Rangers, it is sworn duty to respond to those calls. That is the contract we made with the people of Arizona when we opened for business." This bit of dialogue makes me think there were originally going to be more radio calls in this game then there are. Probably not the case and this is just a bit of flavor, but possibly something to keep in mind as we go through.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "When can we enter the Citadel, sir?"
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "Once you prove yourself, the Citadel will be your new home. Consider this mission the final test of your training. If you succeed, you are welcome within our walls. If you fail, then you aren't cut out to be a Desert Ranger, and we won't let you in." This is our first opportunity to use the three dialogue skills, I think I know which one I like the best.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "What if we prove ourselves by kicking down the Citadel doors... sir?"
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "The hard-ass approach, eh?"
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "Well, you might get what you want from some folks in the wastes through intimidation, but it doesn't always work, particularly with old hard-asses like myself. You want to kick down our doors, give it a try, but I ain't pissin' myself just because you growled at me."
Steering ourselves back onto the main dialogue track...
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Where is this area, sir?"
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "It's about a day's walk east from here. I'll mark it on your map."
(http://i.imgur.com/mjiNybr.jpg)
This is the world map overview screen. I think its function is pretty self explanatory.
(http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "There you go."
With that, and with a little bit of (http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Thank you sir, we'll do our best." and a little bit of (http://i.imgur.com/iXDW0rv.png) "Good luck out there, recruits." we are free from this introductory dialogue. Off to minor exploration and more dialogue we go!
(http://i.imgur.com/1S6gbJD.jpg)
Since this game has a enough flavor text to overwrite a printing of War and Peace, I'm not going to show most of it off. I'll leave that stuff for you to discover and enjoy if you ever play the game. Major stuff like the description to this previously mentioned gate to the Citade and perception based stuff like the description we get of the Grenadier Major here, however, I will definitely transcribe.
"Before you rise a pair of massive twenty-five foot bronze doors, now green with age and corrosion, and engraved with ancient and barely legible writings. They look like they've been standing since the beginning of time."
"You notice he is wearing a humongous double-barreled pistol on his hip."
Seems like a thing to ask him about, after we attempt to bypass the General's orders, of course.
(http://i.imgur.com/O3VrU43.png) "Welcome to Ranger Citadel, recruits, but the general ordered me not to let you in before you finished your first investigation."
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "But the general order us to tell you to let us in."
(http://i.imgur.com/O3VrU43.png) "Nice try, recruits, but it won't get you through this door. I like your sass, though. Tell you what. I know you wanna get inside so you can get your hands on the good stuff Melson's got waiting for you in the Armory. Well, I got a little toy that just might tide you over, interested?"
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "You bet. What is it?" Brotherman, unfortunately, lacks the perception of Lacquerous.
(http://i.imgur.com/O3VrU43.png) "I call her the Mississippi Mule, cause she kicks like one - a double-barreled flintlock pistol that'll turn your enemies into thin red paste - as long as they're within ten feet of you. She was my "go to" gal when I was out on patrol, but now I'm stuck here on door duty she don't get much use. You can have her, as long as you promise to put her to good use." "If it doesn't have at least half the notches Vargas' pistol has when you come back, I'm never trusting you with my baby again."
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Pretty sure that's a promise we can keep." Well, probably not actually since none of us use shotguns, but it's the thought that counts.
(http://i.imgur.com/O3VrU43.png) "Great. Here you go. Treat her good and she'll do the same to you."
(http://i.imgur.com/O3VrU43.png) "Catch you later recruits."
(http://i.imgur.com/EVhotvI.png)
If you didn't catch that, yeah, this thing has such a kick it counts as a shotgun. Ouch.
(http://i.imgur.com/JaEEWed.png)
Solveig here is the first trader of the game, if you couldn't tell from the shopping cart above her head. We don't really need to talk to her now, but we can get a bit of a secret item from her at this point.
"A kindly older looking woman in standard issue Ranger garb, she seems occupied counting goods and organizing crates. Aside from the clothes, she's the picture of a loving grandmother. You could swear she smells faintly of fresh-baked cookies."
(http://i.imgur.com/5qHeUVU.png) "Well, hello, recruits! Welcome to Solveig's Sundries! Happy to trade whenever you like. An honor to make your acquaintance. Always nice to see new faces around here, and a pleasure to make sure they have everything they need before they head out into the big bad world." Sorry, Solveig, I'm not all that interested in your dialog, however, I am interested in-
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "
(http://i.imgur.com/5qHeUVU.png) "Oh my, you've heard of the 61,290? The story of the noble company that prevented the world from truly ending? Not many know the tale but those who do remember a time when men and women fought for what they believed in, no matter the resistance. As dire as the wasteland might seem now, the nukes would have flattened the whole world, killed ever man, woman, and child, without the efforts of the last 61,290." If you couldn't tell from that, 61,290 is the amount of backers that backed Wasteland 2. This code was given out to backers, I didn't back the game, I just looked this up if your curious how I know."
(http://i.imgur.com/5qHeUVU.png) "I gotta say, Team Echo, I'm impressed that you'd be interested int he tales of the southwest. Not many in our time ask the questions of where we came from, what used to be. I've been collecting notes from Ranger teams, travelers, merchants, what have you, for nigh on 40 years now. I think you should have it. Keep building the collection. Preserve what you can." She gave us four books, those four books being...
(http://i.imgur.com/dNDHXf4.png)
...four copies of this. Can't really say how much this is going to affect the LP since I've never done this before, but I doubt it'll ruin the experience.
Anyway, with that done I have one more person to talk to before I wrap this update up, so to her we go.
(http://i.imgur.com/GyZRN15.png)
If we don't get stopped, that is. Rook: "Hey, Echo One! Mind pickin' up that can over there for me? Think there's some water in there."
Brotherman being the unperceptive man that he is does so and...
Aberforth: "Baaaaaaaahhhh!!!"
(http://i.imgur.com/FTy4EbT.png)
And this is why I'm not going to talk to those jerks. They are there in case on of your primary characters dies so you can get them replaced. Dunno why you wouldn't just get one of the more useful companions instead though.
(http://i.imgur.com/JC2Q00n.png)
Back on track... here's another of the premade characters: Angela Death.
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "*snorf* (That sounds vaguely offensive.) ... Sorry about the waterworks. I'm still pretty broke up over Ace. I'm Angie. You kids must be the new recruits ol' Vargas trained up. Lord, y'all just babies." Pretty sassy for a thoroughly mediocre premade character I deleted with zero guilt. Regardless, since this character is from the previous game and is rather plot-vital, we'll be going through her sass-ridden exposition regardless.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "How well do you know General Vargas?"
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "Ha! Better than he'd like. Back in the day the General was the craziest of us all, but somehow, after we brought down Base Cochise, he became the sanest. Now he's runnin' the whole show, and doin' a damn fine job, (Considering the support from Ranger HQ we got in the first game, that's not saying much) while I'm still walkin' patrols and answerin' radio calls. Shows you how much ambition I got, huh?"
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "We saw you at Ace's funeral. You knew him well?"
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "They all hurt, but this one... Man."
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "Ace wasn't even a Ranger. (Neither were you, ma'am.) Not at first. He worked as a driver and mechanic for Faran Brygo, up in Vegas, and when Base Cochise started sendin' its death machines into the desert, Brygo sent Ace south to recruit robot fighters. We met him in Quartz. He'd pissed somebody off there and they'd locked him up. We sorted that out and he started runnin' with us - helpin' us fight Cochise - and never stopped. Vargas eventually gave him the uniform and the hat, but I don't think he ever formally signed on. He was just... always there. And now he's... he's..." ...an Ace in the hole?
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "Goddammit, Ace. I knew this one was trouble. I knew it!"
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "You thought Ace's mission was trouble?"
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "He was workin' on the same thing Vargas has you workin' on. Tryin' to track down radio signals from beyond the edges of the map. All seemed a bit boring and scientific to me, but then Ace started sayin' he thought someone was followin' him."
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "I asked him to let me come with him when I met him at Rail Nomads to give him the repeater units, but he told me to go back to base. He said he was just jumpin' at shadows 'cause those radio broadcasts had spooked him."
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "I shoulda gone with him. Why didn't I go with him?" Instead of asking that, you should wonder what would've happened if you did go with him: death, most likely.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Tell me about Rail Nomads."
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "Could be a nice little place if the Atchisons and Topekans (huh) would kiss and make up. I can't even remember what it's all about, but between 'em they got enough old railroad tech that, if they worked together, they could give this area a real transportation system. Instead, seems like all they wanna do is blow each other's heads off. Idiots." Besides the mass resurrection, doesn't seem like much has changed there.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Know any more about these repeater units?"
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "I really don't know the details. It's all a bunch of mumbo jumbo about transmitters in north-south axist and signals bouncing off the clouds. Ask Woodson about it. He's our radio genius." We could ask her about Woodson, but I think you get the gist of who he is already.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Have you heard any of these strange broadcasts?"
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "Ace played me some of 'em before he died. Hard to make out a lot of it, but what I heard made my hair stand on end."
Having exhausted that avenue, we must now use a non-sequitur to continue.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Where's Quartz?"
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "Man, not sure I can recall. Haven't been out that way in ages. Don't even know if it's still on the map. Ask Thrasher. He'd know."
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "What was Base Cochise?"
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "An old military facility from before the war, and the biggest fight the Rangers ever had. There was some crazy computer in there that kept spittin' out robots and sendin' 'em to kill people. We had one hell of a fight puttin' it down. Earned our stripes that day - literally. That's when I became Captain Deth."
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "A computer was making robots?"
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "Yeah. The Base Cochise AI. Don't know what was wrong with it. Broken, I guess. It thought everybody was the enemy. Wanted to kill the whole planet." Apparently Angela paid no attention to Cochise's connection to Finster. Anyway, Thrasher's also a pretty important character so let's hear about him.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Where's Thrasher now?"
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "You better call him Gilbert now. Funny, back in the day he just seemed like this big ol' growly bear. Strong as an ox and just about as articulate. But then he got all torn up during our fight with the robots from Base Cochise and he couldn't go out on patrol no more.
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "Any other commander woulda handed him his walkin' papers, but Vargas doesn't dump old friends, so he started him workin' the museum. And wouldn't y'know it, turns out the ol' bear has a knack for cartography. He's been gradually mappin' our little corner of the wasteland ever since. Who'da thunk it?"
With that said, let's say goodbye.
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png) "Bye."
Or not. (http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "Say, listen. Vargas asked you to look into Ace's death 'cause he thought I was too upset to be professional about it. He didn't want me goin' off half-cocked and shooting up all of Arizona lookin' for his killer. But I gotta find this guy. Ace and me... well, we'd been fightin' side by side for nigh on twenty years. I'm not lettin' him die unavenged."
(http://i.imgur.com/9keEnUo.png) "So, well, I know it's goin' against orders, but if you let me tag along and be in at the kill, well, I'll help you find your feet out there. Maybe give you a few pointers along the way."
There's no real reason to refuse besides being afraid of Vargas, which we're not, so we say:
(http://i.imgur.com/p0Cmglr.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Eulqp0d.png)
And so this update comes to a close. See you in the next update where we'll explore the world map and, maybe, just maybe, find Ace's killer.
Post by: Yoink on March 18, 2017, 10:47:31 pm
Quote
Also, Yoink isn't smart enough to be a helicopter pilot so this whole thing was a waste of time. Back to level 2.
</3 :'(
I finally got around to reading the rest of the LP. Jeez, that seemed like a slog. Well done!
I'll start reading 2 later.