I can't decide if I want Angelo and Diablo again, or something new, however, there is one thing I can decide on.
NEW RULE: NO DOOM MUGS!
Name: Bork
Description: a tired cat
Why do you want milk: because I'm hungry.
Name: Aaron Blaze, Draconic god of luck!
Description: Big white dragon guy with a red/orange face and green feet, wears big golden armor under a dark green cloak, looks kinda like the Emprahsque probably. Carries around a huge demonic warhammer, a battle axe made of bone, and a very fancy greatsword with a dragon design.
Why do you want milk? Well, what else am I supposed to do with my time right now?
Go find the local lord/king/whatever and talk with them.
Spoiler: Anna, or you just can call her Courier (click to show/hide)
Anna appears outside the village, right in the center of it. Anna is stunned to see how different is the world around her: There's no dusty, sandy desert or extremely dry badlands around her. Instead, there are green woods, fields of non-mutated wheat, and buildings which aren't made from an ugly mix of rusty metal, wires, and old, crumbling concrete. The only thing similar to her world is that the people have a rather poor hygiene. Being overwhelmed by how healthy-looking is the world she's in right now, Anna decides to ask locals where she can buy and drink brahmin milk, so that her mind calms down a little.
Asks the locals where I can buy brahmin milk.
Head to the place selling brahmin milk, should the locals share the information.
Name: Mug
Description: A simple, ceramic mug.
Why do you want milk? To be filled with the divine ichor and ascend to godhood.
Try to move in the direction of milk.
Name: Ziizo
Description: Either a normal human that loves cloaks or a vampire nobody is sure.
Why do you want milk?: Breakfast, milk tastes fine when mixed with me favored drink.
take a horse and gallop to the next village.
Name: Gerald "The Great" Goatsby
Description: An aginggoatmannormal human wizard with ties to an secret occult society.
Why do you want milk? For potions and experiments.
Attempt to create a magically self-replenishing milk fountain in the center of town with transmutation magic.
Name: 'Doctor' Matteo Schubert von Alvritcke
Description: A rather creepy-looking fellow clad in a ragged variety of dark-coloured, ill-fitting clothing. His bony, unhealthily pale head is almost entirely hairless save for a pair of greasy sideburns.
Why do you want milk? To revive and power my human flesh golem, assembled from stolen bodyparts in my spooky old manor house a mile from the village. I tried channelling lightning into my monster but it didn't seem to do the trick. In the future words of the meme wizards of the 21st century, "he needs some milk".
Name: Adam Simons
Description: Adam had always believed himself to be a normal person, but one day he stumbled upon something no normal human could witness. He saw a fight between a demon and an angel, in their full glory. He was bathed in the hellfire and heavenly light from the battle, and he gained powers like no other person. He gained the power of an angel and a demon, and he chose to use them to help.
Why do you want milk?: "I'm starting with small goals first."
Summon a magic sword
Name: Adam Simons
Description: Adam had always believed himself to be a normal person, but one day he stumbled upon something no normal human could witness. He saw a fight between a demon and an angel, in their full glory. He was bathed in the hellfire and heavenly light from the battle, and he gained powers like no other person. He gained the power of an angel and a demon, and he chose to use them to help.
Why do you want milk?: "I'm starting with small goals first."
Summon a magic sword
Drink the milk. ALL OF IT.
Anna notices that the milk geyser has erupted; and not only that, but the geyser turns everything into more milk. Once she snaps out of outburst of shock and confusion, she points at the geyser and screams, "An unusual type of geyser has erupted, and it seems to turn everything it touches into milk, stay away from it!" After warning the citizens, she decided to rephrase herself, since there were no brahmins pre-War.
Ask where I can buy cow milk.
Go and buy a jug of cow milk for myself. Hopefully they at very least accept dollars (aka pre-War money) as currency.
-_-
Demolish these brigands.
continue riding the horse to arrive to the nearest village.
Roll, roll, roll. Roll towards the direction of the true milk.
"WELL SHIT. MILK IS MILK, I GUESS. EVEN IF IT IS LIKELY TO KILL ME IF I TRY TO COLLECT IT."
Attempt to give shape to some of the fountain milk, creating "milk snakes" and binding them to my control.
Name: Harold Johnson
Description: He's the local priest.
Why do you want milk? To destroy it because it's an abomination.
Go forth and find milk to destroy.
Name: Jebbediah
Description: Average human being, not a lizard or a cyborg
Why do you want milk?: He just knows that he needs it for something, he doesn't know why, he just knows
Go forth, lookin for thy cow fluids
I suppose I'll go look for the holy grail then.
Ok, the holy grail is officially a mug of the most amazing milk ever kept at the exact perfect temperature, ok EP?Yeah sure, why not.
Shit, I completely forgot about this. Damn you work!
Name:ShaunCormac O'Brian
Descrption: A local bar owner who just got up, and feels somewhat hung over. He wants a good drop of milk for breakfast, nothing like it in the morning. His bar has a window pointed in the exact direction for the creepy castle up on the hill to be in full view, as per agreement with old Saxon. As long as he sends up hapless adventurers occasionally, the money keeps flowing...
Cormac opens the pub for the day, and announces loudly to players, adventurers, and NPCs alike that the pub is open and that beer is half price for today (Two bits instead of four). He looks around the quiet village of Moorsburg, bright in the late morning sunlight, with the ominous castle looming over the village. Let's say... Spiders this time. The castle is infested with spiders, if anyone asks, and they have... Lots of treasure hoarded up there. Should be fine.
Y'know what, just go find a local adventurer's guild and hire myself out or something.
Hire Aaron and some other adventurers.
Continue rolling until the rat is nauseated then trap it inside me and starve/asphyxiate it.
Also, be the Holy Grail.
Anna tries to open the world map on her Pipboy, but it malfunctions and displays nothing but orange filter. Sighing, she leaves the village and heads to the small swamp town. During her trip, she thinks about how weird that old woman is, "Why did she constantly cackle during the talk? Perhaps she's not entirely there. At least she told me where I can find milk." In the middle of her trip, she tried to tune on some radio, only to discover that there's no radio signals at all. Disappointed with the lack of radio, she keeps walking towards the swamp town.
Arrive at the swamp town and search for the littlest shopkeeper. If the town looks sinister enough, try approaching carefully by looking for traps.
If this is not a trap, buy a jug of milk.
Push someone in the milk. Players are valid targets.Rolling a d6 to determine target. 1 is Harold, 2 is Goatsby, 3&4 are the snakes, 5&6 are villagers.
"YES, THIS IS FINE. THIS WILL WORK."
Goatsby, rather proud of his work, gestures for the twin Serpents to follow him as he looks for a safer source of milk.
Run back to the church and fill a bucket with Holy Water, then go back to the milk and pour the Holy Water on it, to cleanse it in the name of our lord.
check the brigand for blood, I never learned to check for pulse but I know that "lots of blood out of the body"="bad for your health"
ASKSHOPKEEPERWATCHMAN WHERETHEYTHE SHOPS USUALLY SOURCE THEIR MILK.
ALSO LOOK OUT OF DOORWAY AND WATCH ANY ACTIVITY IN TOWN
...OH, AND PONDER WHETHER MY SPOOKY LAIR COUNTS AS AN ABANDONED CASTLE OR A MANOR.
REALISED I HAD FORGOTTEN TO CAPITALISE EVERYTHING. SORRY. I AM ASHAMED.
EDIT: ALSO OOPS FORGOT WHO I TALKING TO
So, Random kind of made my quest futile. Not matter, in this game, we'll just end up summoning a new holy grail eventually, or going on a quest to steal the milk back from the unholy pail. Though if ATHATH makes a "holy grail" I'm shooting it.Um, yeah. What he said.
Start our quest!
I didn't mean to, whooops. I thought it would be funny for the Holy Grail to be a mug because it's Minimalism and Milk. It would kind of make sense in-universe.It does make sense. I suppose I'll just have to take you with us on our quest to recover the holy milk from the unholy pail.
I'm okay with teaming up to fight the unholy pail. After all, I need to be filled with the holy milk and for someone to drink the milk from me because I'm the mug and I need to do that to ascend into the true holy grail, I think.I didn't mean to, whooops. I thought it would be funny for the Holy Grail to be a mug because it's Minimalism and Milk. It would kind of make sense in-universe.It does make sense. I suppose I'll just have to take you with us on our quest to recover the holy milk from the unholy pail.
This is Minimalism and Milk. Of course that's how it works.I'm okay with teaming up to fight the unholy pail. After all, I need to be filled with the holy milk and for someone to drink the milk from me because I'm the mug and I need to do that to ascend into the true holy grail, I think.I didn't mean to, whooops. I thought it would be funny for the Holy Grail to be a mug because it's Minimalism and Milk. It would kind of make sense in-universe.It does make sense. I suppose I'll just have to take you with us on our quest to recover the holy milk from the unholy pail.
So, Grail team has a reality warping Nephilim, a Dragon God of luck, and soon, we will have a magic mug. Why did I hire those humans again?
Once Anna spotted the unsuspecting creature, which looks like a sort of Spore Carrier with a weird, alien shape of ears. She assumed that it is actually one of the very first victims of the FEV tests, who escaped the labs... which is really confusing, considering the settlements she has seen so far don't even look like pre-War America! She stopped trying to guess the origin of the creature and uses the moment to pull out her silenced sniper rifle... (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Christine%27s_CoS_silencer_rifle)
Pop the creature's head with my sniper rifle. Stealthy style!
Once the FEV victim is dead, look for the other ambushers while looking into the sniper sight.Don't shoot them, yet.Nah, kill all the FEV victims I'll spot.
"Yes his fall dirtied my cloak. Would you tell me where I can acquire milk?"
Try to convince other players to head on up, and quickly pop out to the shops to buy some milk.(I can't really let you just roll to control other player's characters like that.)
Go find a dairy to buy milk from.
So, Random kind of made my quest futile. Not matter, in this game, we'll just end up summoning a new holy grail eventually, or going on a quest to steal the milk back from the unholy pail. Though if ATHATH makes a "holy grail" I'm shooting it.2
Start our quest!
So, Random kind of made my quest futile. Not matter, in this game, we'll just end up summoning a new holy grail eventually, or going on a quest to steal the milk back from the unholy pail. Though if ATHATH makes a "holy grail" I'm shooting it.Um, yeah. What he said.
Start our quest!
I didn't mean to, whooops. I thought it would be funny for the Holy Grail to be a mug because it's Minimalism and Milk. It would kind of make sense in-universe.
Roll over rat and crush it with my newly found holy strenght. It's clearly some sort of demonic rat, so I might gain a bonus against it if I use myself as a weapon.
Name:Stormslayer
Description: A large beetle monster with greenish-blue chitin, roughly the size of a cow.
Why do you want milk? To feed the larva. It's easier than getting them meat.
Go looking for something to feed the larva with so they don't starve while I look for milk.
Quickly fill a bucket with water and bless it and make it in to holy water, then run to the milk and pour it in and cleanse it.
SCOWL.
"DO I LOOK LIKE A LOWLY MILK THIEF TO YOU?! I RESENT YOUR IMPLICATION, SIR!"
LEAVE THE WATCHMAN'S VICINITY IN A HUFF.
THEN GO MAKE SOME ENQUIRIES ABOUT BUYING A CART OR WAGON WHILST I AM IN TOWN. AND PERHAPS SOMETHING OTHER THAN MYSELF TO PULL IT
I think you need more interesting 1 rolls EP.
Damnit SM.I think you need more interesting 1 rolls EP.
Ok.
What he means to say is that I'll get right on it.Oh God no. It'd be as long as he Bible and the Odyssey combined, with upwards of 5 different mythologies blended in.
I left it open. I said nothing about the unholy pail, except it exists, it's being guarded, and that there's a one handed viking (who can see basically everything in his line of sight)'going after it. I like big viking-esque sagas and histories of kingdoms and such, the demonic lore of the underworld of milk is your beef.So Mug is a viking's left hand? Or is the Holy Goblet different from the mug Holy Grail?
Also some kingdom has the holy grail of milk made form the viking's left hand.
This is still open to join, right?
Essay-length descriptions, wants to right a saga concerning a random minimalistic game on the B12 forums, shows up with a pun instead of an answer to my question...It's hardly essay length. It also isn't a random minimalistic game, it's the sequel to the first game I played on Bay12, or at least the first one I remember.
Dangit it actually is SM.
Imic, is your current character just your last guy lying low, because if he is, that is cool,and it works.Essentially, yes.
Roll into the pub, loudly declare that the barbarians are evil and use my holy strenght to make them trip into the ground.(Rolled a die to determine initiative order.)
Angelic half says punish Grognar
Demonic half says kill Grognar
Dragon god behind me says to screw with Grognar
I wonder what I'll do
With a flick of my wrist and a puff of smoke, Grognar is tied to a spinning wheel. Multiple knives float in the air before me pointed at the wheel, ready to fly at it with a flick of my wrist. (It's the spinning wheel knife throwing act you see at magic shows and circuses.)
"That was a mistake on your part Thog."
Run back to the church and duck in between buildings if the milk demons get to close.1
"YOU LITTLE SHIT! THAT WAS MY BEST EXPERIMENT YET!
GoatsbyBLEATSyells in anger and sics the Entropy Serpents on Harold, simultaneously providing support to them via a wave of precisely aimed magic missiles.
Anna goes for another shot, but this time she'll use VATS assistance for a better accuracy...
Activate VATS assistance (get a bonus to attack, if I'm successful).
Kill the mutant via headshot, then look for the other hiding mutants to shoot at.
Purchase Milk and head back to the Pub.
"The milk thief was in moorsburg Too but thank you anyway"
Go back to the horse and keep searching for milk.
creep closer to it while it's still dozing off, then charge forward and bite at it's neck with my mandibles after it either detects me or falls asleep. Killing it quickly means I can bring it back to the nest faster, and thus leave the larva contented while I search for milk.
SCOUT AROUND FOR AN UNATTENDED WAGON OR SIMILAR.
TRY TO NICK IT WHILST EVERYONE IS DISTRACTED WITH DANGEROUS QUESTS AND TAVERN BRAWLS
((Wait, we have steampunk elements in this world? I'm talking about the steam-powered wagon Matteo has found.))
((Also, EP, please change swamp goblin shaman's status to "Dead due to a headshot" and add the other goblin group as NPCs.))
((Wait, the village is called Moorsburg? Does that mean the very first settlers were Andalusian Muslims who turned Christian? Or the founder had "Moor" as their surname?))
Yes, you can still join. I don't really intend to ever close the game to new players.
"You have underestimated me, Margaret. You haven't thought that the prey can outmaneuver the predator, right? Once I'm done with this place, you'd better have another card to pull from your sleeve, because I'm not going to act gentle towards you."
Lay down, so it'll be harder to spot me.
Use another VATS assistance to shoot the moving mutants easier.
Shoot the mutants. All of them.
Make for high ground ti survey the surrounding area. There should be hills and mountains around my village.
How dare you assume that insect-monsters are slimey! I'll have you know we're quite clean!Whoops, sorry. Megaentomology was my worst class.
Grab onto its body with my six legs and keep biting at it, tearing chunks of flesh free from the troll!
Get out of the cart and run, if I can't get out try and stab the milk snake with my crucifix and hope its holy power gets rid of the snake.6
"GOOD BOYS! KEEP THE FILTHY PRIEST IN THE CART WHILE 'TIL I'VE GOT HIM IN MY HANDS."2 vs 3-1
Attempt to force Harold out from the cart. Have my snakes attack him if he gets hostile.
Accept taking the test
Find another place to buy milk.
"MY GOODNESS. THIS IS RATHER MORE THAN I'D EXPECTED. TIME FOR A CHANGE OF PLANS..."
GET IN THE STEAM WAGON WHILST MUTTERING TO MYSELF. ATTEMPT TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO WORK IT
GO FOR A JOYRIDE WHILST BECOMING ACCUSTOMED TO THE CONTROLS, PREFERABLY WITHOUT DRAWING TOO MUCH ATTENTION
That was a 2, not a 11 vs 6+1
Run Grognar through with my sword
Lift GROGNAR into the air with my holy powers and spin him really fast until he's nauseous.1 vs 2+1
To battle!3 vs 1+1 against GROGNAR
GROGNAR MIGHTY!!!5 vs 2 against adventurers.
Wait, what, when did the turn before this happen?4, 5+1 vs 4
???
How the hell did I miss an entire turn occurring?
Whelp, anyway, bodily throw Grognar out of this establishment. Make sure to grab him while he's distracted attacking something else, so as to turn his ragepower against him. There's a reason you're supposed to stay calm during a fight, and why barbarian rage attacks often have you deal and receive double damage.
Cool.
Name: Cassandra Vitalis
Description: Black curly hair, olive skin, purple eyes. Wearing: A gothic medieval dress, black and purple with floral patterns; a leather pouch containing many herbs and fungi.
Why do you want milk?: To study and use for my potions, as I am an aspiring alchemist.
Ask kindly for some friends to go in search of milk with me.
Anna has officially seen it all: Milk geysers, pointy-eared mutants, mutants who are able to disguise as completely human, mutant-buildings with spider legs controlled by a said disguised mutant. Seeing the said mutant-building abomination, she decided to use a pretty old but well-working tactic: Running away, then setting up a trap!
Run away from the mutant-building, hopefully giving me a time to set up a trap.
Set up a frag mine trap to blow some of the mutant's legs off, then finish the wounded mutant-buildings with an incendiary grenade right into the door!
If I'll have no time to set up a trap (the spider-hut manages to keep with me in speed, for example), pull out an Anti-Material Rifle and shoot an incendiary bullet into Margaret's chest!
EDIT: Editing the actions and adding the new ones as well.
Nod at the king and gallop towards the Lord Saxon's Castle.
use my superior grip to get on top of their head and back, then begin biting at their arms to render the troll less dangerous.
I will find an empty milk bottle and as quitely and sneaky as possible trade out the bottles. If he awakes at anytime during this, I tell him there has been a recall on milk in this region because of mad cow disease.
Name: Vaarsuvius
Description: Typical D&D High Elf. Pointed ears, violet hair. Is a 16th level wizard. Is wearing a red wizard's robe.
Why do you want milk? So that I may use it to attain ULTIMATE COSMIC POWER!
Casts Locate Object while focusing on a milk bottle, gaining knowledge of the location of the closest milk bottle.
That reminds me that some species of spiders produce milk. I will create some anti-toxin in preparation for my quest for spiders.
BITE MY FIST TO STIFLE A MANIACAL CACKLE FROM ALL THE EXCITEMENT.
THEN BEGIN ATTEMPTING TO START IT UP. USE THE POWER OF SCIENCE... MAD SCIENCE.
"YOU STAND BEFORE THE GREAT GERALD G. GOATSBY, HOLY-MAN. YOU'VE DESTROYED MY GREATEST PROJECT TO DATE. WHAT SAY YOU IN YOUR DEFENCE?"1 vs 3 for you attacking Harold, 1 vs 6 for snakes.
Aggressively seize the priest by his throat. Be ready to weave some serious explosive magic if he tries anything. Tell my sneks to watch him.
Stab Goatsby with my crucifix as he is a crazed individual that's going around summoning demons.1 vs 1
You don’t want to get thrown, you piss off. Got it?1 vs 3-1
If he doesn’t run away, pummel him into submission or death, whichever comes first.
Heal thyself(use powers to heal my arm.)3+1 for Grail's assist.
My rolls have been really crappy.
Cast a heal miracle and cure the wounds of me and my new allies.4
Get him while he's down!4 vs 5-1
MIGHTY!!!!2-1 vs 6 against Aaron.
Go home with MAGIC!
Remind me, who was Cormac?Imic
Anna puts her sniper rifle away as she slowly walks towards Margaret. She looks down at Margaret and spits at her. "You'll not fool anyone ever again, mutant. It's time to pay for your misdeeds..." After saying this, Anna pulls out her Ripper (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Ripper_(Fallout:_New_Vegas)) to finish Margaret off.
Cut her head in half, then go back to the Moorsburg.
Find a cow and milk it. If there's no cow, travel to the nearby villages to search for cows.
If I successfully milk a cow, drink the milk and win the game.
EDIT: Damn, how did I failed to notice that I wrote "at" instead of "and"?
"BASTARD!"6 vs 3
Attempt to transmute Harold's blood into bullet ants. That'll show that holy-man why he shouldn't be hurting my snek children.
Try and stab Goatsby with the crucifix again, if that doesn't work try and get god to smite him.2 vs 2-1, 6-1 to request aid.
Advance to the castle and knock on the door or ring the bell if they have these.2
Intruder.6 vs 3
GET! OUT! OF! MY! BAR! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!
Jesus christ people, I went out for five minutes to fetch some milk, and this is what you people do to my bar room...
Start to clean up the bar. Use magic only if nessecary. Remove Barbarian bodies in the river, and once finished, close it up for the day, and settle down for a nice cup of Ice Cold Milk. Also, Fine Adam. I don't care how divine of an entity he is, he's not getting away with destroying the bar.
The Barbarian started this fight, we simply ended it, but fine, I'll fix this.
Fix the bar room with magic.
Ah. Ok.Alright, this area uses Terraria money. For those who haven't played it, 1 silver is 100 copper, 1 gold is 100 silver, and 1 platinum is 100 gold.
Pay Cormac something in the vein of 50 platinum coins. That should cover it all, right?
I'm just going to go off the Terraria currency system.
"Alas, I need more practice... but I shall look on the bright side and accept that anything can have a use."
Pocket the Nausea Potion. If I need to find/fight a large spider, I'll need a suitable weapon. Find a small errand in town to obtain coin for said weapon.
Meditate. Focus really hard and try to find the direction in which the Unholy Pail has it's lair and my stolen sacred milk.
Go home and start making cheese.
bait the troll into charging me, then dodge out of the way and bite at it's arms and legs again. Immobilise it!
Go look for the bottle in the local inn.
PUT THE PEDAL TO THE METAL!
...METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING, OF COURSE. I DON'T KNOW IF THIS VEHICLE CONTROLLED BY A PEDAL OF ANY KIND, OR EVEN IF FLOOR IS MADE OF METAL
POINT IS, DRIVE FAST. IF I CAN ALSO FIGURE OUT HOW TO STEER, TRY TO STAY OUT OF THE MAIN PART OF TOWN AND HEAD FOR MY SECRET LAIR, BUT VELOCITY IS MY PRIORITY.
Also, your text color is too similar to Mallos's, maybe you should change it.
This is medieval times, there are no grocery stores. Also, your text color is too similar to Mallos's, maybe you should change it.
This is medieval times, there are no grocery stores. Also, your text color is too similar to Mallos's, maybe you should change it.DON'T BE RUDE, THIS MINIMALIST
As Anna drank the sweet milk, her mind calmed down a little, and she started to understand: She has time traveled to the past! Accepting the fact that she may never return back to the current time, Anna decides to find her place in this timeline. However, as Anna turns away from the cow, she sees angry farmers...
Say to the farmers that I want to speak to the cow's owner.
Say to the cow's owner that I'll compensate him/her with money, should he/she name me the price and give time to collect money (3 turns).
Should cow's owner accept my offer, go and work the most high-paying job in the village. If not, perhaps it's time to run away to the Moorsburg and hide.
Roar.2 vs 1
Punch the gargoyle.5-1 vs 1
shuffle out of the way of it's next swing, flinging mud into it's face as I do so.
Try again. Find the direction the Unholy Pail has it's lair.5
While we are waiting for the fancy cup to figure out our next location, I will summon my sword to myself, and then begin to attempt to teach my hired adventurers to be more useful in a fight.3+1
Make sure that nothing bad happens while we’re working on all this.4
Put the milk in a safe place and take care of the rat.
Awesome. To the bartender: "Thank you, good sir. It was my pleasure working with you."
Go buy myself a good weapon with my new coin.
Cast Invisibility on myself.
This is medieval times, there are no grocery stores. Also, your text color is too similar to Mallos's, maybe you should change it.DON'T BE RUDE, THIS MINIMALIST
THERE NO RULES, NO QUALITY CONTROL
LOOK BACK, SEE IF ANYONE CHASING ME
IF NO SIGNS OF PURSUIT, FIND A DECENT-SIZED BUNCH OF TREES IN FOREST AND (FIGURE OUT HOW TO) PARK WAGON NEARBY
OTHERWISE, CONTINUE SPEEDING ALONG UNTIL I LOSE THEM. AVOID OBSTACLES. UNLESS OBSTACLES ARE THE SOFT, FLESHY KIND WHAT I CAN PROBABLY PLOW THROUGH WITHOUT DAMAGE TO WAGON.
Thank all for halping and give them all a drink on the house each. Yell at whoever is driving the weird Dwarven contraption to sod off, and that I'm drinking my milk. If it's not Dwarven or something, then there's something wrong, since steam engines shouldn't exist yet. Go back inside and see if it's going to rain anytime soon.
Use some type of cleric healing spell to heal my self, and retrieve my crucifix.4-1
<General attacking>1 vs 1-1 against injured snake.
SsSsSsSsS....3 vs 6 against arm.
"FOOLISH PRIEST! YOU WILL DIE BY THE GREAT GOATSBY'S HAND!"3 vs 2
Attempt to blast Harold with a spray of entropic milk.Also, your text color is too similar to Mallos's, maybe you should change it.
this^
Name: 0craOops, missed this one.
Description: An ordinary person that wants milk
Why do you want milk? To sell it on the black market
"Alright, time to get milk."
>Go steal milk from the grocery store
Ah hell, I still haven't gotten around to finishing reading the first game. Guess I'll have to go through quickly. From what I've seen of this one so far, it seems like it'll live up to the original though.
You needn't, it can be understood perfectly without it.
Alright, let’s get going to that Neighboring Village and see about some lady with a sign who probably came from some desert or volcanic location.As Glass said collect up the adventurers and the grail and go find Anna.
Alright, let’s get going to that Neighboring Village and see about some lady with a sign who probably came from some desert or volcanic location.As Glass said collect up the adventurers and the grail and go find Anna.
Roll and try to guide everyone to the Neighboring Village. Try to find the foreign woman from dust and fire.
"This will be harder than I thought."
>Grab a crossbow and skewer the guards before stealthily extracting the milk. If the alarm is raised, give the reinforcements hell.
"This will be harder than I thought."Could you bold your actions, please? It will make it easier for me to notice them when writing turns.
>Grab a crossbow and skewer the guards before stealthily extracting the milk. If the alarm is raised, give the reinforcements hell.
That's G.M. F.P. E.P. to you, mister!"This will be harder than I thought."Could you bold your actions, please? It will make it easier for me to notice them when writing turns.
>Grab a crossbow and skewer the guards before stealthily extracting the milk. If the alarm is raised, give the reinforcements hell.
ok fun police
That's G.M. F.P. E.P. to you, mister!"This will be harder than I thought."Could you bold your actions, please? It will make it easier for me to notice them when writing turns.
>Grab a crossbow and skewer the guards before stealthily extracting the milk. If the alarm is raised, give the reinforcements hell.
ok fun police
:P
ENEMY POST
Equip my emergency crucifix and charge at Goatsby, and stab him.4-1 vs 5
4 vs 2-2,4ENEMY POST
ALWAYS ALL CAPS. IS THE MINIMALIST WAY.
---------------------------------------------------
"REALLY? UGH. NOW THIS IS JUST DRAGGING ON AND ON AND... I'M A BUSYGOATMAN, YOU KNOW!"
DISINTEGRATE THE PRIEST. FAILING THAT, TELEPORT MYSELF AND MY TWO SNEKS TO A SAFE LOCATION.
(Fighting)4 vs 4
throw the gargoyle into the moat. let's see if stone can swim.6 vs 2-1
Arg.1-2 vs 2
Anna thanks the blacksmith for letting her work as an apprentice. She notices that the blacksmith is suspicious of her, so Anna explains him her (fake) story: "I've came here from a continent to the West, across the Atlantic Ocean. I'm a citizen of an extremely advanced country called Republic of Nevada, where technology is advanced enough to be almost indistinguishable from the most complex magic. We have mechanical limbs and organs, advanced medicine, weaponry which can shoot scorching beams or green globs, capable of melting everything that moves..." Anna keeps talking about technology, and when she finally stops, she says, "...Unfortunately, our great republic almost got destroyed by a 5 years long civil war, and we only started the repopulation and surrounding exploration program a month ago. As for how I came here," says Anna while rubbing her forehead, "Uh... Looks like I suffer from a slight memory loss. That's one of the negative symptoms of using the teleport technology I've mentioned."
Anna tells the blacksmith that her name is 'Adelina Moffscrut' before finally leaving him to buy the cow.
Buy a cow and personally apologize to the farmer.
Since people consider me a foreigner, ask questions like, "Who's the local ruler?", "What country I'm in?", "Where's the capital of this country?".
Ask the villagers if they need help with bandits or any other threats.
Alright, let’s get going to that Neighboring Village and see about some lady with a sign who probably came from some desert or volcanic location.5
As Glass said collect up the adventurers and the grail and go find Anna.5
Roll and try to guide everyone to the Neighboring Village. Try to find the foreign woman from dust and fire.6
Say that I don't know how I'm related to all these 'Holy Grails' and 'Unholy Pails' of yours. I'm simply a foreigner from an advanced nation.(Action prevented by circumstance, so no roll needed.)
Unless the village elder will say that the village has no threats, I shall refuse to come along with the party until I destroy the threat.
Remember whether or not I prepared Suggestion.
It'll heal, attack with the frenzy of an angry injured insect!5 to go into angry frenzy, 5+1 vs 4
Roar!2-1 vs 5+1
"This wi(Well, at least that style is easy to notice. The office of G.M.F.P.E.P approves.)ll be harder than I thought."a crossbow and skewer the guards before stealthily extr[/sub]acting the [/color]milk. If the alarm is raised, give the reinforcements hell.
>Grab
The perfect weapon for me... something lightweight and precise. A rapier is more my style, but if they don't have those, a shortsword will do.
LET OUT A YELP OF DISMAY
RESIST PANIC
THEN BEGIN INSPECTING THE VEHICLE'S DAMAGED PARTS. MAKE PLANS TO REPAIR IT... BETTER THAN EVER! WITH SPIKES! MUAHAHA.
You forgot to put in my action.
Seek out my brethren in the Society, asking any of them with time to spare in assisting me in a Greater Milk Daemon summoning.It's pronounced Milk Dæmon.
FTFYSeek out my brethren in the Society, asking any of them with time to spare in assisting me in a Greater Milk Daemon summoning.It's pronounced ATHATH.
Seek out my brethren in the Society, asking any of them with time to spare in assisting me in a Greater Milk Daemon summoning.It's pronounced Milk Dæmon.
FTFYSeek out my brethren in the Society, asking any of them with time to spare in assisting me in a Greater Milk Daemon summoning.It's pronounced ATHATH.
May I suggest you not.FTFYSeek out my brethren in the Society, asking any of them with time to spare in assisting me in a Greater Milk Daemon summoning.It's pronounced ATHATH.
Too bad he's not here.
I guess I could just send down a DOOM MUG myself...
No matter how many times you attempt to summon the ancient horrer of the deepest Dwarven depths of the deepest, mosed cursed fortress of their kind, it won't change the fact that it's spelt Dæmon.
If it's a milk demon, it's spelled ATHATH.
Duck into an unobserved alley and cast Disguise Self on myself, appearing to become a completely different elf.
politely knock on the door of the castle.
>Stash the milk inthe store[y milk deaSpoiler (click to show/hide)ling location.[/i][/sub][/left]
4, 5 vs 5
You successfully infiltrate the warehouse and secure the entrances. You acquire the milk contained inside as a result.
YOU WIN THE GAME!!!
However, your attempt to use your conquest as a distribution center does not go unnoticed. Swarms of guards take up position outside. Your crossbow keeps them back for now, but you don't do much damage.Find a spider. Fight the spider.6, 3+1 vs 5Quote from: Spiders<If object=Preyobject, run Hunt.>2 vs 5
You venture forth with sword in hand. You keep an eye out for the telltale signs of giant spiders, such as clawmarks and enormous cobwebs. Eventually, you find one of your targets drinking from a melted-looking deer at the base of a large cliff. You creep forward to try and stab it. Before you can get close enough for a clean kill, you hear a thump from behind you as the spider's mate drops from a tree and sprays webbing. Your foot is stuck fast to the ground. The spider charges, losing an eye to your rapier for its trouble. The first spider looks back at you, but then ignores the fight to try and finish its deer.drag it back to the nest for the larva to eat, then go searching for the largest source of milk possible.
5
You drag the carcass to your spawn. They swarm over and into the warm meat, chittering gratefully. You then leave in search of milk. After a bit, you see a large stone wall. Your antenna detect large amounts of milk on the other side, but you remember that dangerous creatures with weapons typically live behind these structures.Grab the crucifix I dropped earlier, then return to the church and tell the people there that there is a guy going around and summoning milk based demons then gather any of the ones that are able to help me fight him.
2
You get your crucifix back and return the backup to its usual sheath. Your return to the church is unsuccessful. Everybody just thinks your warnings are more crazy ranting from the priest who sharpens crucifixes and hates milk.Did I not?
I could have sworn I had...
Imic closes up the pub for the time being sits down by the fire, and enjoy a delicious slice or four of toast, with a good drink of ice-cold milk.
Once he's done, look out the window and try and see all the stuff that's happening. Might as well have a look at the happy medieval townsfolk going about their Chaos free lives.
5
Surprisingly enough, everything is fine at the moment. There's some scorch marks from Goatsby's spells and some property damage caused by that rampaging cart. Some villagers are beginning to repair things.Seek out my brethren in the Society, asking any of them with time to spare in assisting me in a Greater Milk Daemon summoning.
6
You find a group of initiates who want to help you. It'll be their first Daemon summoning and as such they are eager to assist.Search the town for a literal sign towards our next stop in our quest.5"Sorry, I don't have an interest in doing something like gathering some flowers. I'll go and see if the other settlements need my help." Replied Anna to shopkeeper.3
As Anna argues with the party of adventurers, her Pip-boy adds a new journal notification, which is empty and is called 'Untitled', but it also displays a map market to the unknown location. It's definitely strange, considering that the map didn't even work earlier. Since nobody gave Anna any interesting tasks, she sighs and says to the party of adventurers: "Well, it looks like my Pip-boy knows where you can find that Unholy Pail of yours. And since nothing threatens this village, perhaps I can assist you in your quest."
Go on the quest for the Unholy Pail along with the party.
Bring the cow along too! Perhaps it can serve us as a heavy items hauler.I guess we’re now goin to wherever the hell it isn’t we’re supposed to go?1, 1 vs 3
Make sure that nobody attacks us on the way - or if we do end up in combat, that our attackers swiftly regret having been within a mile radius of us.
(I'm going to assume team members who miss a turn automatically keep up with their allies, unless they want to quit playing or the player says otherwise.)
Anna agrees to join the seekers of the Holy Milk. Before leaving, the Grail decides to look for an actual sign. This is a rather literal interpretation of its vision, but it is the correct one. The Grail finds a wooden sign addressing the party directly.
"Welcome, seekers of the Holy Milk. To prove yourselves worthy, you must face the villains you could have been and still could be. If you accept this challenge, go now to the Cave of Broken Mirrors."
With Anna's Pip-boy, the Cave's location is obvious. The party sets out with a cow in tow. Anna quickly finds that the cow refuses to carry heavy loads. The adventurers will have to be used for that. On the road, Aaron leads in order to have a better chance to spot threats. A threat does materialize.
The party is forced to pass through a graveyard on the way to the Cave. Predictably, the graves begin to burst as a horde of skeletons rise from their graves. Aaron leaps into action and swings his sword at a tightly packed group. The skeletons grab his sword and weigh it down as they try to wrestle it away.
OOC:Does the bottom part of my post look weird to anyone else? It looks grayed out to me for some reason.
Return to the bartender and cast Suggestion. "I Suggest that you perform no actions except those which I explicitly order of you."
"Attempt to shout at the readability cops to stand down or risk termination of life."But there are no cops. Only guards.
Name: ATHATH
Description: The reincarnation of that crazy guy.
Why do you want milk: So I have a justification to summon mugs from the sky.
Perform a magic ritual to summon a giant mug in the sky.
Return to the bartender and cast Suggestion. "I Suggest that you hand me a bottle of milk."
Who do you think you're talkin' to, Yank?
I don't think I like the look of him. Politely ask him to leave, and sell him a bit of ice-cold milk if need be, but not all of it. If doesn't accept that, then get him drunk and throw him out.
Once those shenanigans are all over and done with, open up the bar again. Beer is 3 gold.
The door opening is technically a invitation to enter so advanced towards the higher tower.
"They'll be sorry they didn't believe me when the milk demons kill them all!"
Go and find anyone who can handle the truth about the impending milkpocalypse and recruit them to help me stop it.
use my powerful forelegs to dig through the wall, then retreat and climb over it for an ambush.
>Attempt to sho[glow=r0]ut at the
- ed,2[/shadow],30
low[/center]]rmination of life.[/sub]Spoiler (click to show/hide)
5 vs 3
You successfully intimidate the guards. They stop trying to get in and begin forming a barricade. An officer begins to try negotiating with you, but their plans are disrupted when a giant bug monster sudddenly bursts through the town wall.Name: Baron Von Baron of house Baron of the Barony formally known as Baronhold
Description: A half elven baron with a simple over coat over a somewhat dust stained white button up shirt and red panteloons with white stripes...or perhaps just a drunken idiot who calls himself a baron of some make believe town who just wants some milk.
Why do you want milk?: To find milk for his cookies.
(No action specified.)
You are probably Baron Von Baron of house Baron of the Barony formally known as Baronhold. You've decided to visit the milk-loving village of Moorsburg to find the perfect touch for your Baron-cookies. The town looks like most other English villages, although there's evidence about of a recent fight. Perhaps the kingdom's bandit troubles have adversely affected them. As you explore, that would seem to be the case. Someone has stolen this entire town's milk supply.1-1 vs 4Quote from: SpiderFocus on the already damaged spider first.6 vs 6-2
(Init:Spider.)
You fight viciously as the spider tries to get close enough to bite you. Ultimately, you duck underneath a pounce and slice through the underbelly as it passes. The spider is dead before it hits the ground. The other spider silently stops eating and fixes its eyes on you when it notices this.Who cares about the sword, I have a hammer and an axe! CRUSH THESE UNSKINNED VERTEBRATES!So, I think Aaron should get a bonus for killing undead. He is pretty experienced at it.2+1 vs 4Pull out my Ripper and slice their dusty bones! YEEHAW!4 vs 4
Once the skeletons will be defeated, proceed further and look out for potential traps.
((Also, skeletons? This game is getting 2spoopy4me.))Quote from: AdventurersTo battle!2+1 vs 6Quote from: Skeletons(Dialogue too spooky/scary for most audiences.)1 vs 6+1 against AdventurersQuote from: CowMoo.2 vs 5((For some reason, turn 11 didn't appear to me.))1 vs 2
Use holy magic to prevent the skeletons from reviving when they are eventually killed hy my allies.So...1+1 vs 5, 2
Release a wave of holy magic that can destroy undead, as well as, totally coincidentally, stop all possible summonings of DOOM MUGS.
The entire party fights their best. The adventurers show off their new group tactics, the cow smashes undead under her hooves, and the other ones also do some cool things I guess. However, the sheer force of the tide of skeletons threatens to overwhelm them. They're just too spooky. If you want to seek shelter, the gravediggers house is nearby.Conjure and Bind a Milk Obcisidaemon (https://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/outsiders/daemons/daemon-obcisidaemon/) with the assistance of the Initiates. Sacrifice them, if necessary.5, adjusted to 6 by initiates "help"
You have the summoning circle all set up. The bindings are in place and you've selected the perfect Obcisidaemon specimen to call. However, as the last incantations are sung, an eager apprentice tries to impress you by increasing the power of the demon. This was not a good idea. The blurred image of the Obcisidaemon vanishes in sulphur. You barely manage to kill the fool before something ELSE responds to the open gate. The room fills with a hum of power and a figure begins to warp and flicker in the center of the chamber. Whatever it is, it's much too dangerous for the bindings you had in place. The True Name has been invoked too many times.
Something wicked this way comes.
OOC:Hey, EP, remember Siegebreak?
Where's the castle?
I remember it a bit, I'll keep it in mind for later.
I knew this would happen, and I expected this was how, but I still think it was too soon.
Welcome back ATHATH, I'm still going to foil all your evil plans, so could you just align yourself with the unholy pail so I can kill two birds with one stone.
"An imposter? Me? No, that is false! I am the true ATHATH! You will bow before me!"
Summon a DOOM MUG in orbit above the false ATHATH.
now it's time for that retreatt and climb part. I want to jump down and ambush them as they move to try and chase me away.
The readability cops have probably fucked off at this point so I don't have to anger them at this point. Time for giant bug monster hunting!
-_-6 vs 1-1
WRECK THEM ALL. Destruction upon the unfleshed!
-_-5-1(Magic sword-ATHATH attacking your powers-injuries) vs 5
F*CK SHELTER! HOLY NOVA! Massive pulse of holy power!
Guide everyone to the gravediggers house for shelter except for those that decided to suicide charge despite being outnumbered by the undead horde. Use holy magic to protect them from the skeletons until we safely reach the house.5, 6+2
Remember to loudly announce that the skeletons are evil to get a bonus against them before rolling and guiding the group to shelter.
Throw Plasma grenades at the skeletons!1 vs 6, 3+1
If the skeletons will not be defeated, run inside the gravedigger's house.
(Attacking)5 vs 6 against Aaron
Call the town guards on this magical mystery man.
"I Suggest that you allow me to escape."
(Also, yes it is an OotS reference.)
Throw the Nausea Elixir I created at the other spider to distract it whilst I try to cut myself free from the web.
is this the sword I was searching for? If yes take it if not continue to the top floor. If unknown take it and continue to the top floor.
"Fine, I don't need the help of these nonbelievers, I'll save the world from the milk based demons by my self!"
Go and find a holy sword and fill a bottle with holy water, then try and find out where Goatsby went.
Search around for the leader of this town, try to find out what happened to the milk.
"WELL, I SUPPOSE I SUCCEEDED. BUT SO MUCH FOR THE BINDINGS." Goatsby sits down outside the fractured summoning circle. "YOU'RE WELCOME, ATHATH- EVEN IF IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. NOW GO WREAK HAVOC AND FURTHER INDULGE YOUR WEIRD MUG FETISH."
Disappear to an isolated location in a cloud of mist.
((Sorry about the relatively late action, been quite busy.))
Music. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocYgD2CrG28)
"GREETINGS, MORTALS. WHO ARE YOU, AND WHY HAVE YOU RETURNED ME, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL ATHATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS, TO THE TIMESTREAM?"
Ooh, it feels good to be back.
Is your character an OotS reference, The_Two_Eternities?
"WAIT."
"I SENSE A PRESENCE."
"THE PRESENCE OF..."
"AN IMPOSTOR!"
"FALSE ATHATH OF THE PATRON FALLACYOFURIST, SHOW YOURSELF. WHY DO YOU USE MY NAME?"
I knew this would happen, and I expected this was how, but I still think it was too soon."AH, PATRON SMOKE MIRRORS. YOU YET LIVE, AND SO DOES PATRON IMIC. YOU SHALL NOT FOIL ME AGAIN. YOUR SERVANTS ARE WEAKER NOW, WHILE I HAVE NOT DIMINISHED IN STRENGTH. SHALL WE SEE WHAT THE FULL FORCE OF A REAL DEMON SHALL DO TO YOUR FRAIL, MORTAL MINIONS?"
Welcome back ATHATH, I'm still going to foil all your evil plans, so could you just align yourself with the unholy pail so I can kill two birds with one stone.
Strip the demonic power from Smoke Mirror's character- it falls under MY domain now.
Yeah, no.
"Something you didn't notice ATHATH. Something none of you noticed. Adam Simmons IS Angelo and Diablo. Go ahead, read my backstory from the first game. I am the agent of Heaven and Hell. I am the warrior that has foiled your evil plans. I am no weaker, ATHATH. I am the same agent. I am the warrior Heaven and Hell have selected, so you have NO power over me!"
Hell's lawyers block ATHATH with a lawsuit, and Heaven uses holy magic to block ATHATH's evil spell.
Hello Adam.
Yeah, hello flesh bag Nephilim.
Who the Hell are you two?
Not quite.
Exactly!
Oh god, I think I know who you are.
I'm Angelo, the angel you are hosting.
And I'm Diablo, the demon that is using you as a host.
Oh joy, I should have expected these powers came at a cost. So, why are you talking to me now?
We've sensed a disturbance, a powerful demon force.
Yeah, and not a f*cking good one.
So, you need my help to deal with it?
Yes.
Unfortunatly.
It's a deal.
"An imposter? Me? No, that is false! I am the true ATHATH! You will bow before me!"
Summon a DOOM MUG in orbit above the false ATHATH.
"This is what comes of opposing me, the true ATHATH!""What in the Hells is this pathetic thing? It's got flaws all over it, and it doesn't even have a method of autonomous propulsion. Also, it looks ugly as sin. Here, let me turn it into a REAL DOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUG for you."
While the DOOM MUG falls, work on summoning a rain of MINI-MUGS above the false ATHATH's position. Naturally they should explode.
Yeah, no."Ow. I think your edginess just gave me a paper cut."
"Something you didn't notice ATHATH. Something none of you noticed. Adam Simmons IS Angelo and Diablo. Go ahead, read my backstory from the first game. I am the agent of Heaven and Hell. I am the warrior that has foiled your evil plans. I am no weaker, ATHATH. I am the same agent. I am the warrior Heaven and Hell have selected, so you have NO power over me!"
Hell's lawyers block ATHATH with a lawsuit, and Heaven uses holy magic to block ATHATH's evil spell.
Hello Adam.
Yeah, hello flesh bag Nephilim.
Who the Hell are you two?
Not quite.
Exactly!
Oh god, I think I know who you are.
I'm Angelo, the angel you are hosting.
And I'm Diablo, the demon that is using you as a host.
Oh joy, I should have expected these powers came at a cost. So, why are you talking to me now?
We've sensed a disturbance, a powerful demon force.
Yeah, and not a f*cking good one.
So, you need my help to deal with it?
Yes.
Unfortunatly.
It's a deal.
I was planning to leave the two ATHATHs to kill each other, but then they started the apocalypse countdown, and we all know it's my job to stop those.Smokey mirrors, go go go!
Probably? First we have to deal with the Unholy Pail though. Maybe after Mug recovers his milk and ascends, someone could use Holy Grail Mug to drink the Holy Milk and also get god powers. I think that's how it works.
Actually, there should be enough milk for everyone to ascend but because Aaron and Angelo are already divine beings it might not affect them much.
Go drink at the nearest tavernYou find the pub abandoned, and it looks suspiciously like the proprietor ran away with all of his stuff because of the imoending Doom Mug catastrophe.
"So! Any problems with thieves and bandits here? I BARON BARON VON BARON OF HOUSE BARON shall help if so!"
ASSUMING NOTHING NOTICEABLE OR THREATENING HAS HAPPENED IN MY IMMEDIATE VICINITY OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF TURNS (IT A BIT SPAMMY, I NOT HAVE TIME TO MAKE SURE) , SCOUT AROUND IN FOREST FOR MATERIALS I MIGHT USE TO FORTIFY MY SPOOKY MANOR HOUSE
The fact that we can say that like someone would say "my dog tried to eat my stake again" amuses me. It also unfortunately might keep me from really doing my job, as last time I was too busy saving the world to do what I wanted to.ASSUMING NOTHING NOTICEABLE OR THREATENING HAS HAPPENED IN MY IMMEDIATE VICINITY OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF TURNS (IT A BIT SPAMMY, I NOT HAVE TIME TO MAKE SURE) , SCOUT AROUND IN FOREST FOR MATERIALS I MIGHT USE TO FORTIFY MY SPOOKY MANOR HOUSE
Nothing in your immediate vicinity, but ATHATH and FallacyOfUrist as ATHATH are trying to blow up the world again.
The fact that we can say that like someone would say "my dog tried to eat my stake again" amuses me.DO VAMPIRE HUNTERS USUALLY KEEP DOGS?
Oh look, a Dooooooom Mug."Ugh. My supposed 'archenemy' (since when were you my archenemy?) can't even spell the name of where he's trying to banish me to correctly."
Good thing we know how to deal with those.
To the rest of the party:Hey guys, can you handle these, I have to go stop my archenemy from destroying the world with a giant mug of milk.
Fly up into orbit near the DOOM MUG and banish the it and both ATHATHs to the elder plain.
The fact that we can say that like someone would say "my dog tried to eat my stake again" amuses me. It also unfortunately might keep me from really doing my job, as last time I was too busy saving the world to do what I wanted to."Honestly, I didn't even want to do the whole 'DOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUUUG' thing again. I figured that this time, I'd settle for a giant ethereal bowl that would rip peoples' souls out of their bodies as it passed through them, casting a curse that would prevent respawns, adding complexity to this game until people like me couldn't pull 'DOOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUUUUG' !@#$ like this without spending more time and effort, or just actually aiding my summoners. Unfortunately, the other ATHATH here kind of threw a wrench in those plans, and since people are already attempting to lynch me, I suppose I'm going to have to stick with what I'm investing in right now (improving the other ATHATH's Doom Mug (as distinct from a DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG))."
Honestly, as the one of us who goes toe to toe with ATHATH on a regular basis and has divine and infernal conections, I think I make the best pick for shutting ATHATH up."A 'regular basis'? What? You've fought me only once before now."
"Nice. See, this is a guy that I can respect. He, unlike you, pawn of Patron Smoke Mirrors, has wit."The fact that we can say that like someone would say "my dog tried to eat my stake again" amuses me.DO VAMPIRE HUNTERS USUALLY KEEP DOGS?
EITHER WAY, THESE NERDS AND THEIR MUGS ARE NOT MY CONCERN
Angelo is an Angel, Diablo is a demon, and Adam is a Nephilim, an angel/demon hybrid."Wait, now your servant is a half-demon, half-angel in addition to hosting a demon and an angel within him? Your creation is getting more snowflakey by the minute."
It's telepathy, ATHATH is in Goatsby's catacombs.Wait, I thought that IC-ATHATH was communicating via meta-communication (which is why he can communicate and respond directly to us forumites and characters who (whom?) he's never met before now).
ATHATH, this is a minimalism game. Chron is the dragon god of luck who can turn into a ghost or a shadow and wields two weapons of ungodly power. Also, as the guy who stopped both of your prior doom mugs from destroying the earth, I've dealt with you the most.Would Chron happen to be short for "Chroniqler" (yes, that was the way that he spelled his name), by any chance?
Use Doctor's Bag to heal myself.3, 4 vs 2-2
Use Anti-Materiel Rifle to help my companions. Hopefully the house has a window or two to shoot from.
Clean up the rest of the Undead. I tire of this tedious uprising.4 vs 5-2
Roll around in the house, trying to find something useful to stop the skeleton problem.(I just want to say that attempting to specifically prevent pails was pretty funny.)
If there's nothing, use prayer energy to create an unbreakable light barrier that stops skeletons, ghosts, monsters, zombies, imps, undead, skeletons,demons, revenants, beasts, ghouls, phantoms, pails and skeletons from entering the house.
I know a dramatic cue when I see one.
Accept my newfound heroic destiny. Use the advantage I created to fight that spider!
"He tried to grab the milk out of my hand, he said he needed it to stop some sort of "DOOM MUG". There's not really much else to say." If they have no questions, I leave.
Panic.
Uuuuuuhhhhhh
EVERYONE! THERE IS A GIANT DOOM MUG FALLING ON US! RUN AS FAR AWAY AS YOU CAN! I REPEAT, RUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
Gather everything I own that I can carry, and run as far away as possible. Tuck the time machine blueprints and auxiliary controls into a very safe pocket.
who shot me? Find them, grab em with my forelimbs, and give em a good thrashing to teach em not to mess with a giant beetle!3, 4-2 (Injury+poor roll on finding him) vs 1
start climbing the wall I have to get to the top. /b]
"I told everyone this would happen but they didn't believe me, and now there is a giant mug falling from the sky. I must act quickly or else we all might die."
Find out the location of the secret catacomb lair and go there.
Go drink at the nearest tavern
"So! Any problems with thieves and bandits here? I BARON BARON VON BARON OF HOUSE BARON shall help if so!"
ASSUMING NOTHING NOTICEABLE OR THREATENING HAS HAPPENED IN MY IMMEDIATE VICINITY OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF TURNS (IT A BIT SPAMMY, I NOT HAVE TIME TO MAKE SURE) , SCOUT AROUND IN FOREST FOR MATERIALS I MIGHT USE TO FORTIFY MY SPOOKY MANOR HOUSE
Attempt to terraform the area into something more chaotic and entropic. Something a lunatic like me would find amusing/useful.
"This is what comes of opposing me, the true ATHATH!"
While the DOOM MUG falls, work on summoning a rain of MINI-MUGS above the false ATHATH's position. Naturally they should explode.
"What in the Hells is this pathetic thing? It's got flaws all over it, and it doesn't even have a method of autonomous propulsion. Also, it looks ugly as sin. Here, let me turn it into a REAL DOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUG for you."
Improve the False ATHATH's DOOM MUG (he didn't even put more than two "o"s in its name) for him. Perhaps this can signal the start of an alliance or friendship (or a contest of DOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG improvement one-upmanship) between us.
Oh look, a Dooooooom Mug.
Good thing we know how to deal with those.
To the rest of the party:Hey guys, can you handle these, I have to go stop my archenemy from destroying the world with a giant mug of milk.
Fly up into orbit near the DOOM MUG and banish the it and both ATHATHs to the elder plain.
Where were we going before skeletons occurred?
Try again."Ah... it's you. I have something special in store for you..."
Would you kindly not? (http://bioshock.wikia.com/wiki/Would_You_Kindly)Try again."Ah... it's you. I have something special in store for you..."
Use dark magic to brainwash Smoke Mirrors into thinking that destroying the world is an excellent idea.
I'm 50% entity of divine goodness and a symbol of balance. I have 3 separate consciousnesses in my body, and even if you control one, the others will stop you. Good luck.Would you kindly not? (http://bioshock.wikia.com/wiki/Would_You_Kindly)Try again."Ah... it's you. I have something special in store for you..."
Use dark magic to brainwash Smoke Mirrors into thinking that destroying the world is an excellent idea.
Actually the evil twin thing will work if FoU rolls well enough.He’s not making an evil twin of SM’s character, EP.
Actually the evil twin thing will work if FoU rolls well enough.He’s not making an evil twin of SM’s character, EP.
He wants to make an evil twin of SM.
This is becoming more and more confusing.Agreed.
Welcome to Minimalism and Milk. But I think you already knew that.This is becoming more and more confusing.Agreed.
I hope I can survive this...(Cool picture! I've always wanted to be able to draw, I'm just not willing to put in the time or effort to learn how.)
No choice but to fight from this position. Stab the spider in the stomach.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Run to the top tower closing every door behind me
Use holy magic to cast a guidance miracle to find the path we must follow in our quest.5
Ride upon the cow into the Cave of Broken Mirrors.4+1 for Grail.
Watch out for the traps.
Onwards toward that place we were going to!3+1
Keep looking for the entrance to the catacombs.
Knock on the door. Demand that they tell me where the milk thieves are and to sell booze.
Alright, good. Now use Conjuration magic to shape a Wizard Tower for me to reside within and perform rituals from.
Try again.
"Ah... it's you. I have something special in store for you..."
Summon up an Elder Doppleganger of Smoke Mirrors. Y'know, standard evil twin stuff.
"Well, if you don't want any help improving your Doom Mug, I'm going to go and stop us all from getting erased from the timesteam."
Find the time machine plans and burn them to ashes with hellfire.
Politely inform him that I'm okay, and that I suddenly remembered that my third cpusin had invited me over, and that I need to go there now.
Pack up as I described before then run in any direction that concievably leads away.
Try to find mountains.
Leave and head to my secret base.
>Heal myself, ditch the crossbow for a charge rifle, and kick the giant bug's ass.6 to recover, 2 vs 5 to attack
This is becoming more and more confusing.Agreed.
Yell to ATHATH:
WHAT DO YOU WANT?! IF YOU WANT THE TIME MACHINE BLUEPRINTS, YOU CAN TAKE THE, AND DO WITH THEM WHAT YOU WILL!
"Why thank you! I think they'll prove very useful..."FUCK YOU! THERE'S AN ATHATH IN FRONT OF ME, AND AN ATHATH FAR AWAY, AND YOU ARE NOT THE ONE CLOSE ENOUGH TO GET THESE BLUEPRINTS! IF YOU COME ANYWHERE NEAR THESE, I'L BURN THEM MYSELF!Yell to ATHATH:
WHAT DO YOU WANT?! IF YOU WANT THE TIME MACHINE BLUEPRINTS, YOU CAN TAKE THE, AND DO WITH THEM WHAT YOU WILL!
Take the blueprints. Cast a spell of assembly to create the time machine.
| door w[/font]ith my c[/font]harge rif le, with the bullets |
Shoot through the door with my charge rifle, with the bullets penetrating the not-so-bulletproof door and into the Readability SWATWhy don't you just bold your posts?
Because they’re trying to be annoying.Shoot through the door with my charge rifle, with the bullets penetrating the not-so-bulletproof door and into the Readability SWATWhy don't you just bold your posts?
Because he is fighting the Readability SwatShoot through the door with my charge rifle, with the bullets penetrating the not-so-bulletproof door and into the Readability SWATWhy don't you just bold your posts?
Roll towards the entry and cast a sunlight spell to use as a light source. Continue onwards, being wary of traps.Light:5, Explore:6
Procede inwards, I presume. Don’t get trapped.5
Prepare my Automatic Rifle.4
Go inwards and look out for the traps.
Check the purity of the milk to see how useful it will be.
the sword is in the throne of the dark lord. So search for the room at the top of the tower.
Wait for the guard to leave and try and get into that tavern and th e precious booze inside. NONE SHALL DENY BARON BARON VON BARON HIS DRINK!
Attempt to forge a tower out of the Schizo-Land™ itself, stabilized just enough to be a suitable hub for my Wizardly Duties.
Yell to ATHATH:
WHAT DO YOU WANT?! IF YOU WANT THE TIME MACHINE BLUEPRINTS, YOU CAN TAKE THE, AND DO WITH THEM WHAT YOU WILL!
It's difficult to keep up the accent while yelling...
"Why thank you! I think they'll prove very useful..."
Take the blueprints. Cast a spell of assembly to create the time machine.
FUCK YOU! THERE'S AN ATHATH IN FRONT OF ME, AND AN ATHATH FAR AWAY, AND YOU ARE NOT THE ONE CLOSE ENOUGH TO GET THESE BLUEPRINTS! IF YOU COME ANYWHERE NEAR THESE, I'L BURN THEM MYSELF!
Light a match, to show I mean business.
Link the two ATHATHs and the doom mug, so that neither ATHATH can use their powers unless they are in physical contact with each other, and that the doom mug can not move unless they are touching. This also negates them from using their powers to get to each other, or to dispel my effect.(Adam vs New ATHATH:6 vs 5, Adam vs ATHATH Classic:3 vs 3, Adam vs Mug:5)
Kill the nonbelievers and their milk based demon with my holy sword.
(Thank you for the compliment ^^)
Reap the spoils of my fight. By which I mean collect spider fluids - venom, blood and (of course) milk.
>Shoot th[font2-1 vs 2=times new ro[/glow]man]rough the
door w[/font]ith my c[/font]harge rif le, with the bulletsthe[/color] Readability SWAT[/sup]Spoiler (click to show/hide)
LEAD THE BEARS TO MY LAIR AND TIE THEM UP THERE
PROMISE TO BRING THEM FOOD SHORTLY
Wait, I thought that I was ATHATH Classic.
Who's been attached to the Doom Mug, then?
"I just want the blueprints and any existing time machines destroyed- I don't want to be wiped from the timestream again.""Why thank you! I think they'll prove very useful..."FUCK YOU! THERE'S AN ATHATH IN FRONT OF ME, AND AN ATHATH FAR AWAY, AND YOU ARE NOT THE ONE CLOSE ENOUGH TO GET THESE BLUEPRINTS! IF YOU COME ANYWHERE NEAR THESE, I'L BURN THEM MYSELF!Yell to ATHATH:
WHAT DO YOU WANT?! IF YOU WANT THE TIME MACHINE BLUEPRINTS, YOU CAN TAKE THE, AND DO WITH THEM WHAT YOU WILL!
Take the blueprints. Cast a spell of assembly to create the time machine.
Light a match, to show I mean business.
To the past! Honestly, I enjoyed my past. And besides, given its unchangeability, and the fact that we're all alive right now, it means that we physically cannot die while we're there.I think everyone has to pick their own path, as there is only 3 hallways, one for each. I think you probably have to pick the fabric of the universe as you are the only god here.
It would make sense if we all need to do the same one. "Choose wisely, and choose only one."To the past! Honestly, I enjoyed my past. And besides, given its unchangeability, and the fact that we're all alive right now, it means that we physically cannot die while we're there.I think everyone has to pick their own path, as there is only 3 hallways, one for each. I think you probably have to pick the fabric of the universe as you are the only god here.
So if I come back down, and a fourth passage doesn't open, then what?Shouldn't you be trying to stop ATHATH's final form?
@EP, please explain: one choice for all, or one choice per person?
I do have to say though, that I think EP may have misinterpreted my action.
Link the two ATHATHs and the doom mug, so that neither ATHATH can use their powers unless they are in physical contact with each other, and that the doom mug can not move unless they are touching. This also negates them from using their powers to get to each other, or to dispel my effect.
"I just want the blueprints and any existing time machines destroyed- I don't want to be wiped from the timestream again.""Why thank you! I think they'll prove very useful..."FUCK YOU! THERE'S AN ATHATH IN FRONT OF ME, AND AN ATHATH FAR AWAY, AND YOU ARE NOT THE ONE CLOSE ENOUGH TO GET THESE BLUEPRINTS! IF YOU COME ANYWHERE NEAR THESE, I'L BURN THEM MYSELF!Yell to ATHATH:
WHAT DO YOU WANT?! IF YOU WANT THE TIME MACHINE BLUEPRINTS, YOU CAN TAKE THE, AND DO WITH THEM WHAT YOU WILL!
Take the blueprints. Cast a spell of assembly to create the time machine.
Light a match, to show I mean business.
"You don't know how to make a time machine, do you? Don't worry, if you do, I'll just remove the knowledge of how to build it from your head instead of killing you."
Destroy the blueprints if I am given permission to.
What? Being a physical incarnation of evil and destruction doesn't mean that I can't approach things diplomatically.
Drop the blueprints on the ground.
I have no intention to do any such thing, I only wish to live a life. Take them, and do with them whatever you will.
Walk away from Moorsburg. Run if need be.
walk into the room sword ready to defend myself "Let me guess you are evil and I will have to fight you?"5 on defense roll
Challenge the Past.2
To the past! Honestly, I enjoyed my past. And besides, given its unchangeability, and the fact that we're all alive right now, it means that we physically cannot die while we're there.2
Head on down to the cave to meat back up with my team.5
Hey guys, what did I miss while I was stopping the apocalypse?
Challenge the past. If we're to face something eldritch and terrifying, then we'll face it together.5
Stab the cultists in the guts with my holy sword, also try and get the arm a weapon.
Chug the bottle and leave some gold on the bar, if I have no monies search for monies and put them on the bar, then walk out into the night and see what Baron von Baron can find
"Well... this is interesting. I'm a mug demon now... I think I like this. Thank you very much. Excuse me, I have a world to destroy."
Teleport into the Mug Dimension. Inside the Mug Dimension, begin a ritual to merge myself with the Mug Dimension.
Create a ritual to summon a gateway to the Elemental Plane of Milk. Make sure to do so in a large valley that looks like it could use a lake.
Gather and mutate a shit ton of animals. I need some Tzeentchian monstrosities to form the ranks of my henchbeasts...
Shoot the Readabilty SWAT with my charge rifle.
Gold. That grail is made of gold.That's the idea Random, they are our evil twins, that is why mine blew up, because Fallacy's prior attempt made precedent that evil twins of Adam don't work.
Gold equals riches, riches equals greed, greed equals sin. Onyx gems are black, black equals darkness and darkness equals evil.
Loudly announce that that grail is a fake and evil servant of the devil himself (to get a holy bonus against it) and smite it with the power of God!
Send a swarm of mutant creatures to spread Tzeentch's corrupting touch to saner lands.Waitwaitwait, when the hell the Tzeentch happen?
Send a swarm of mutant creatures to spread Tzeentch's corrupting touch to saner lands.Waitwaitwait, when the hell the Tzeentch happen?
Kick a hound into the path of the other hound.3+1 vs 1
Enter the catacombs, have my holy sword ready for any enemies that could be inside and be vigilant and search for traps.
Follow the shooting star, maybe if I wish hard enough it shall guide me, BARON VON BARON to more booze or milk
(Sorry I missed last turn.)
I got what I came for. Wash up back in town and afterwards, start the experimenting with spider fluids.
>Continue firing my charge rifle at the Readability Swat.
(For anyone wondering why I didn't bother making this post hard to read, it's because I'm tired after updating my RTD I've started hosting for fun (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=170685.0).)
Shrug and go find a quest.
I'm stoppin' till' I'm a long way from that feckin' cursed shithole of a town.
Go to high ground, climb it, and see how far I am from Moorsburg. If I'm still close, then coninue walking/running away from it. I've seen what Milk-induced madness can do to people, and I'd rather be far away this time. If I do find a nice place,build a shelter from sticks and moss, then start a fire. If I'm far away from Moorsburg where I am, then build the shelter and light the fire here, I suppose it can't hurt.
Send a swarm of mutant creatures to spread Tzeentch's corrupting touch to saner lands.
Ok.3, 6 vs 2, fighting Anti-Aaron.
On defense. Wait for one of these mates to make the first move; parry and counter. Make sure that counter is deadly, or at least crippling. A... crushing counterstrike, if you would.
EDIT: autocorrect turned "parry" into "party"...
Gold. That grail is made of gold.2, 6 vs 4
Gold equals riches, riches equals greed, greed equals sin. Onyx gems are black, black equals darkness and darkness equals evil.
Loudly announce that that grail is a fake and evil servant of the devil himself (to get a holy bonus against it) and smite it with the power of God!
Shoot at the Anti-Grail.6 vs 3
Dodge any attacks coming at me.
Well... that was unexpected.5 vs 4
Really, I think it was totally expected, he tried to make an evil clone of something that is already 50% evil. Also, to the ATHATH thing, of you can hear, me, I wouldn't take offense to that, except you're ATHATH, I kind of take offense to you on principle.
You say that evil will prevail
And they shall be the ones to get the pail
But see how your powers fail
And I beleive I know the ending of this tale
So once your forces are done and fought
And the path before us with troubles is fraught
I will know with who's side I am not
So I put my powers with hero's lot.
Attack the evil Anna with my blade.
So wait, is anti-Aaron defeated?
Devise a ritual to horribly corrupt the Sun. Nothing can escape the mutagenic forces of Chaos if the Sun itself radiates them!Assist.
Can we please not turn reality into Malfeas.
Swear under my breath in old Irish.
Go mbrise an deabhal do shrón*..
Put out the fire. If it spreads more, run away. Find some fireproof old ruin somewhere or something to hide under until the inevitable firest fire has spread beyond this area. Curse under my breath again.
*Translation: May the devil break your nose.
"Well shit."
Find a nonmetallic weapon, like a brick or some thing then head further in to the catacombs.
"This is our chance! Adam, knock her down!"2+1 vs 1+1
Pull out my shotgun, and do a double takedown with Adam against Anti-Anna.
He'll knock her down, and I'll destroy her head with my Riot Shotgun.
Chant in ominous Latin to boost the power of my allies.6
Continue laying into anti-me. If possible at any point, cut his head off.4+1 vs 4+1
Help to fight the evil adventurer clones.2+1 vs 2+2
... back to the Mug Dimension! Bah!
Devise a ritual to horribly corrupt the Sun. Nothing can escape the mutagenic forces of Chaos if the Sun itself radiates them!2-1
Assist.(I just want to say that I like how your action indicates you'll help destroy the world regardless of if you've managed to keep yourself safe.)
Also, make myself immune to mutagenic stuff and radiation if I'm not immune already.
remove my cloak in a acrobatic way hiding myself from view for a second.
Use that second to steal the sword from Lord Saxon mist/hands.
"NEVER!", 0cra yells, as he runs for cover and patches himself up before returning fire.
Go improve my secret base. Perhaps some sort of palisade.
Sneak up to the window seal before proudly and loudly making my presence known and my intentions to take the milk heard, request to purchase it.
"I, BARON BARON VON BARON OF THE BARON BARONNY would like to purchase that there milk you have on the window or perform an appropriate task for it!"
Make the toxin and anti-toxin. You know, for reasons.
I need to save the sun, ok, I'm a luxturgist, this shouldn't be to hard.
Be this known, oh wickedI need to save the sun, ok, I'm a luxturgist, this shouldn't be to hard.
"NO SUN IS MORE FUN."
Be this known, oh wickedI need to save the sun, ok, I'm a luxturgist, this shouldn't be to hard.
"NO SUN IS MORE FUN."goatman
The sun will still shine on this land
For if you wish for life to end
Then to another world, you I shall send.
Be this known, oh wickedI need to save the sun, ok, I'm a luxturgist, this shouldn't be to hard.
"NO SUN IS MORE FUN."goatman
The sun will still shine on this land
For if you wish for life to end
Then to another world, you I shall send.
"OH, WE'RE SINGING NOW. OR WAS THAT POETRY? FUCKIN' SLAANESH AND THEIR ARTISTS. ANYWAY, I'M DEFINITELY DESTROYING THE SUN NOW."
"FUCC. WELL, TIME TO DESTROY THE SUN."Assist.
Turn the sun into a FUCKING COLD HUNK OF TUNGSTEN FLOATING IN SPACE. Yes, I am fully aware of the apocalyptic consequences here.
Resist. If that fails, just rename myself back immediately afterwards.Be this known, oh wickedI need to save the sun, ok, I'm a luxturgist, this shouldn't be to hard.
"NO SUN IS MORE FUN."goatman
The sun will still shine on this land
For if you wish for life to end
Then to another world, you I shall send.
"OH, WE'RE SINGING NOW. OR WAS THAT POETRY? FUCKIN' SLAANESH AND THEIR ARTISTS. ANYWAY, I'M DEFINITELY DESTROYING THE SUN NOW."
Oh, I won't stop you with that.
Rename ATHATH to be "the sun."
"Oh, hello sir," says Cassandra, more than likely grimacing at the yelling. "Well... I suppose I could part with it in exchange for some herbs and fungi. The more rare they are, the better."
Learn from my mistakes. Write down the steps I took to figure out what went wrong with the mixture.
Tell the mug to shut up, and continue to duel my counterpart.6 vs 4
Use the power of my chanting to continue the chant even louder and more ominously than before.2
Blow away Anti-Anna with my shotgun.2 vs 4-1
If that fails, parry her attack with Ripper.
Forage for wild berries, nuts, or even small animals. Cook them and eat them. Climb the hill to see how the town is doing.
"Why am I not using the weapons god gave me?"
Kick the cultist in the gut then beat him to death with my fists.
"This is growing increasingly frustrating..."
Okay then. Blargh. Create a permanent portal back to the mortal realm. Then travel to the Mug Dimension. This time, properly.
"Bull's Strength!" Attempt the palisade again. A shame that Roy isn't here with his ranks in Knowledge: Architecture.
Name: Bothadtam
Description: Bothadtam is a sentient suit of armor. Bothadtam is also lonely, and wants to make friends on his journey to acquire milk.
Why do I want milk: Bothadtam recently ran out milk to lubricate his joints with. Bothadtam does not like when his joints are not lubricated, because they are squeaky and feel funny. Bothadtam would like to have a lot of milk so he can always have lubricated joints.
Action
See if I can find a friend. I would like a friend.
Repeat again, more loudly.
"Oh, hello sir," says Cassandra, more than likely grimacing at the yelling. "Well... I suppose I could part with it in exchange for some herbs and fungi. The more rare they are, the better."
Learn from my mistakes. Write down the steps I took to figure out what went wrong with the mixture.
It wasn't bolded, but I'm assuming this was an action."Oh, hello sir," says Cassandra, more than likely grimacing at the yelling. "Well... I suppose I could part with it in exchange for some herbs and fungi. The more rare they are, the better."
Learn from my mistakes. Write down the steps I took to figure out what went wrong with the mixture.
"Very well! I shall do as such!"
mission complete. kick Lord Saxon so he falls out of the balcony. I doubt that would kill him but it would at least buy a few seconds.
"FUCC. WELL, TIME TO DESTROY THE SUN."3+1 vs 5
Turn the sun into a FUCKING COLD HUNK OF TUNGSTEN FLOATING IN SPACE. Yes, I am fully aware of the apocalyptic consequences here.
Be this known, oh wickedI need to save the sun, ok, I'm a luxturgist, this shouldn't be to hard.
"NO SUN IS MORE FUN."goatman
The sun will still shine on this land
For if you wish for life to end
Then to another world, you I shall send.
"OH, WE'RE SINGING NOW. OR WAS THAT POETRY? FUCKIN' SLAANESH AND THEIR ARTISTS. ANYWAY, I'M DEFINITELY DESTROYING THE SUN NOW."
Oh, I won't stop you with that.
Rename ATHATH to be "the sun."
Resist. If that fails, just rename myself back immediately afterwards.3 vs 6
3"FUCC. WELL, TIME TO DESTROY THE SUN."Assist.
Turn the sun into a FUCKING COLD HUNK OF TUNGSTEN FLOATING IN SPACE. Yes, I am fully aware of the apocalyptic consequences here.
((Shouldn't I have gained a bonus from the chanting past turn? I specified I was going to use the power from the chant.))
Chant even louder than before to annoy both dragons who just broke my buff. Distract both of them from fighting.
Just help me sacrifice him to the sun, Random.You stopped the Mug's song! An unforgivable sin!
Dig out of hell with a spoonEP, as one of our guys is apperently in Hell, should I take over for the archdukes again?
EP, as one of our guys is apperently in Hell, should I take over for the archdukes again?
EP, as one of our guys is apperently in Hell, should I take over for the archdukes again?
Dude, you haven't even posted an action. You just spoke some ooga-booga about the Sun and sacrifices, but you didn't write an action.
"PUNY? PUNY?! HOW DARE YOU CALL MY MAGIC PUNY."
Using my tower in the schizo-realm as a point of focus, launch a massive magic missile-nay, a magic NUKE- at the Sun.
"PUNY? PUNY?! HOW DARE YOU CALL MY MAGIC PUNY."
Using my tower in the schizo-realm as a point of focus, launch a massive magic missile-nay, a magic NUKE- at the Sun.
You've done enough damage!
You know, whenever I play M&M, it ends up like some kind of confused video game. The main quest is getting loot and artifacts, and the side quest is saving the world from an ancient evil.You mean the main quest is getting milk, the secondary quest is getting loot and artifacts, and saving the world from an ancient evil is just that chore you have to do every Thursday evening.
Yeah, pretty much. It was bad enough when I only had to deal with ATHATH, now Fallacy and Mallos are doing it too. It's an extra 1.5 problems.You know, whenever I play M&M, it ends up like some kind of confused video game. The main quest is getting loot and artifacts, and the side quest is saving the world from an ancient evil.You mean the main quest is getting milk, the secondary quest is getting loot and artifacts, and saving the world from an ancient evil is just that chore you have to do every Thursday evening.
You know, whenever I play M&M, it ends up like some kind of confused video game. The main quest is getting loot and artifacts, and the side quest is saving the world from an ancient evil.You mean the main quest is getting milk, the secondary quest is getting loot and artifacts, and saving the world from an ancient evil is just that chore you have to do every Thursday evening.
._.3-1 vs 5-2, 2
I get why the sun is pissed, but why does it have to punish all of us for two dumbasses?
Harnessing the power of the sun, rip out Anti-Aaron's heart and sacrifice it in the name of Sol!
((Shouldn't I have gained a bonus from the chanting past turn? I specified I was going to use the power from the chant.))4+1
Chant even louder than before to annoy both dragons who just broke my buff. Distract both of them from fighting.
Help sacrifice anti-Aaron to the sun...1+2 vs 3-2
Break Anti-Anna's arm by elbowing it with my weapon-free arm.4+2 vs 3
Using the moment, cut her hand off, then slice her throat open with a quick Ripper swing.
"Gah! Why do you repel, Mug Dimension! I am a mug demon! It is in your nature to accept me!"
Okay. Time to do research. Acquire the Mugonomicon.
SNAP OUT OF IT! YOU WERE JUST USING YOUR SKILLS GLEANED FROM SCOUTS, YOU DON'T NEED TO BECOME TARZAN! If you did become some kind of forest dweller, you'd be more like a crazy old hermit, anyway, this goes against your character traits.(Really an auto-success, I won't make anyone play a certain character if they don't want to. Just wanted to see if I got an interesting roll. You can make a new character.)
Alright now I need to-
reads the rest of the update
Fuck this shit I'm out (mhm)
Fuck this shit I'm out (No thanks)
Don't mind me
I'ma just grab my stuff and leave
Excuse me please
Fuck this shit I'm out (Nope)
Fuck this shit I'm out (Alright then)
I don't know what the fuck just happened
But I don't really care
I'ma get the fuck up outta here
Fuck this shit I'm out.
Take out the auxiliary time machine controls that I mentioned hiding in my bag a few turns ago, teleport the time machine here, and leave. Don't come back.
Prepare to make a new character sheet to get in on the godly madness. If that isn't allowed, good riddance ye sun-fuckers and demonologists.
It is time!
Use my super-pure milk in a ritual to trap the sun.
As I've already promised away my other vial of milk, I should probably make plans to find some more somewhere.
Clean up my equipment and try again to find someone willing to come with me on a quest. Failing that, buy myself some light armor.
...meanwhile, in Hell, Demon officers and some search hellhounds are looking for anyone trying to escape.3 to find 0rca, 2+1 vs 3 on stopping him.
>Dig out of hell with a spoon5
((Thought I had edited my action sorry))
Go search through the charred spider house
tell the armor about my quest to find a sword for a pseudo-king.3
If it wants to help give it one of the swords.
I would like to help. Helping is nice.1, 6 vs 1-1
I would like to scold spooky-floaty man and tell him that he isn't being very nice. If he keeps being mean, I would like to kick him.
"Where is this voice coming from, I know its not god so it must be some form of milk demon, it must be close by and I must vanquish it."
Grab the brick and hurry further in to the catacombs and find and destroy all of these demons and cultists.
"PUNY? PUNY?! HOW DARE YOU CALL MY MAGIC PUNY."
Using my tower in the schizo-realm as a point of focus, launch a massive magic missile-nay, a magic NUKE- at the Sun.
Special message to Zultan through my arm."The arm my only ally finally speaks, it must be referring to the regular demons and heretics, worry not arm we shall destroy them all."
Most things aren't milk demons.
"well that was anti-climatic"
Calculate the jump to the outside of the castle. Could we survive it somehow or we will have to get out from the inside the castle and fight the unknown monster.
Enemy post, your "beautifully engraved pistol" link leads nowhere. Just a friendly note.
"well that was anti-climatic"
Calculate the jump to the outside of the castle. Could we survive it somehow or we will have to get out from the inside the castle and fight the unknown monster.
Follow new friend. Tell dust-man that being mean is bad. Attempt high-five with new friend.
Once more a message through my arm."The demons and heretics have angered the sun, and doomed us all, we must hurry and defeat the cultists and destroy there demon masters."
The message that just went through your head and sounds like me was not a milk demon. The sun is trying to fry the Earth.
Hello people of Earth, I am Adam Simons, also known as Nephilim. I am the Earth's guardian. As many of you are likely aware, the sun is trying to kill us now. You may be panicking, praying, or spending your supposed last moments doing whatever you wanted to do most in life, truly, your choice is your own. However, I stand here now telling you there is another way. The Earth has been under a threat like this many times before, and it will be many times after. It has always been stopped, and it will always be stopped, but I need your help. Like any other deity, I need your belief. Please, give that to me, simply beleive in me, and I swear I will do my best to save you. I am Nephilim, lord of light and darkness, good and evil, human morality and the greatest thing that both divides and unifies us, and I ask only for your aid. Lets show this shiny assed son of a bitch that it doesn't matter if he's Apollo, Helios, Sol, Ra, or even freaking Amatarasu, this is our world, and if he doesn't like it, well then he can suck it up!
. .2 vs 4
You’re fucking with me.
We just sacrificed a duplicate of a god, and you aren’t satisfied?!?
Go kill Caesar-ATHATH and sacrifice his heart to the sun. And then use my godly power to push the sun back upwards, away from the planet.
Continue the chanting, this time to grant bonuses to my allies again and not annoy. Dedicate the finale of the song to praising the sun.1, 4
Kick the pistol out of her hand, then blow her head off with a shotgun.1 vs 2-1, 3 vs 2
Assist Aaron.
"RAAAAAAGH! Excuse me. I'm going to go cause the apocalypse."
Turn the sun into a giant solar DOOM MUUUUUUUG.
Using some sort of innate ability to commune with demons on the same plane, speak to True ATHATH the following sentence: "I THINK IT'S IN BOTH OF OUR BEST INTERESTS RIGHT NOW TO DESTROY THIS BASTARD THAT CALLS ITSELF A SOLAR BODY. CARE TO HELP WITH THIS RITUAL?"
Feeling the abominable life of the Schizo-Land, cast a ritual to grow massive heat immune tendrils from the ground to the sun. Coil them around it and hurl it at insane speeds at Jupiter, like a giant and flaming stellar bowling ball.
Well, at least I have some armor now, but there's apparently stuff going on with the sun?3+1, 6
I want to hunt more mammalian or milk producing creatures. Perhaps praying to the sun for wisdom will help in some way.
take the dagger and burnt remains of the book and return to the alchemists and proudly display them4
Send this out to all the world, using telepathy.(To get support from world)
Hello people of Earth, I am Adam Simons, also known as Nephilim. I am the Earth's guardian. As many of you are likely aware, the sun is trying to kill us now. You may be panicking, praying, or spending your supposed last moments doing whatever you wanted to do most in life, truly, your choice is your own. However, I stand here now telling you there is another way. The Earth has been under a threat like this many times before, and it will be many times after. It has always been stopped, and it will always be stopped, but I need your help. Like any other deity, I need your belief. Please, give that to me, simply beleive in me, and I swear I will do my best to save you. I am Nephilim, lord of light and darkness, good and evil, human morality and the greatest thing that both divides and unifies us, and I ask only for your aid. Lets show this shiny assed son of a bitch that it doesn't matter if he's Apollo, Helios, Sol, Ra, or even freaking Amatarasu, this is our world, and if he doesn't like it, well then he can suck it up!
Use my powers of light and darkness and the power of beleif to take the solar consciousness and place it within my sword, leaving the sun as an eternal light for all of humanity, without the danger of it going homicidal again.
Cast Dominate Person at the sun.
"well that was anti-climatic"1
Calculate the jump to the outside of the castle. Could we survive it somehow or we will have to get out from the inside the castle and fight the unknown monster.
Follow new friend. Tell dust-man that being mean is bad. Attempt high-five with new friend.
High five armor.6
"All the demon voices filling my mind with lies, I must destroy them.
Smash the bottle of holy water on the milk snake demon's head, then stab one of the cultist in the gut with the broken bottle, then bash the remaining cultist's heads in with the brick.
>Continue digging out of hell, and while I'm at it, Summon the Greytide to overrun the Hell Police with extremely robust toolboxes.(You already escaped Hell. You're a ghost now, hovering over your own gravestone in the living world.)
Name: Fanfnír, hero of Tónledún.(Sun resisting intimidation)
Description: A powerful warrior, weilding the powers of the earth and sky, granted to him by the holy well of the mother-milk deep beneath the world tree. He has the mind of a fox, the ferocity of a wolf, and the body of a bear.
Why does he want milk? He doesn't need milk. He has tasted the purest, most perfect milk in the world. He intends to end this conflict, and if that means taking the other contenders down, so be it.
I am Fafnír! Hero of Tónledún! I am here to end this conflict! STAR OF THE HEAVENS ABOVE, HEED MY WARNING! YOU SHALL NOT TOUCH THE FACE OF THIS WORLD, OR I WILL MAKE YOU GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE IN THE SKY BY FORCE!!!!!
Use the strength and power granted by the well of the mother-milk to send the sun back, permanantly. If it tries to continue hurtling towars us, break it with all of my strength and power.
BE ALL SAD 'N' SHIT ABOUT THE BEARS.
THEN SEE IF I CAN SALVAGE ANY BUILDING MATERIALS FROM THE GIANT MUG THAT SQUISHED THEM. IF NOT, SEE IF I CAN FIND AN AXE OR OTHER SUITABLE TOOL WITH WHICH TO FELL SOME TREES.
grab both swords and prepare for the monster arrival.
"Give up your worship and summing of demons or I'll destroy you, also where is your master, I must find and destroy him!"
Retrieve my holy sword, and destroy any unholy items I find, and be cautious in case the renaming cultists attack me whilst I rid this place of evil.
grab both swords and prepare for the monster arrival.6
Polish myself.6
Conjure an army of holy crusaders to kill the anti-adventurers.5 vs 5
Continue demolishing fake-ATHATH.4 vs 2-1
Use Anti-Material Rifle with Explosive MG.50 rounds against incoming anti-ATHATH!3 vs 1-1
Oh, and dodge his tentacle lashes and other strikes!
>Possess the corpse of a dead greytider on the surface before healing my newer, more robust self up.
Eat one of the cookies. Then, bolster my land with anti-sun enchantments.
"That's it. That's it! I must have the Mugonomicon!"
Summoning ritual: summon the Mugonomicon to me.
"Was that the knife? Neat!"(No action)
Cast Charm Monster at the sun. An elemental is, in fact, a monster.
Well, you know what they say "when all else fails... fuck it."
Use the power of belief to make myself the new sun god and then use my powers to order the sun back into it's rightful place and to stop attacking Earth.
Climb the tallest building, and survey the chaos below and above.(I couldn't do the second part of the action, I need more specific targets than that as the GM. You've all been interacting with each other, so it's hard to go through all the various butterfly effects and point to exactly who's at fault and who isn't. I mean, technically you started it as Shaun by stealing Moorsburg's milk. Or maybe Mallos started it, by summoning ATHATH and angering the Sun. Or maybe ATHATH is responsible, since his assisting of Mallos is what caused the Sun to get angry, if "this conflict" means the Sun issue. ATHATH could also be responsible for causing you to time travel back here because he threatened the world in the first game. But you were only able to do that because SM didn't let ATHATH Doom Mug the original timeline, so maybe it's SM's fault. You see what I mean? Also, "all else" is broadly defined.)Destroy the ones who have started this conlict, and get all else as far away as possible.
"Okay, guys. Our next destination is Castle Adjilia. I'll lead the way!"Help by providing light, protection and healing magic in the way
Lead the way, try to avoid bandits and other hazards.
Alright, let’s get going! If any bandits or similar annoyances try to attack us along the way, make it their last mistake."Okay, guys. Our next destination is Castle Adjilia. I'll lead the way!"Help by providing light, protection and healing magic in the way
Lead the way, try to avoid bandits and other hazards.
(HONESTLY, IRL I SHED A SINGLE, JOYOUS TEAR AT THE SHEER BADASSERY OF THIS AS I READ IT. BRAVO.)BE ALL SAD 'N' SHIT ABOUT THE BEARS.
THEN SEE IF I CAN SALVAGE ANY BUILDING MATERIALS FROM THE GIANT MUG THAT SQUISHED THEM. IF NOT, SEE IF I CAN FIND AN AXE OR OTHER SUITABLE TOOL WITH WHICH TO FELL SOME TREES.
5,2,3
You display the appropriate amount of sadness regarding the bears. A single tear falls from your eye upon the corpse of the greatest bear. The sky suddenly darkens and a single chord from a blackened ukulele sounds in the air. The bears rise up from their graves out of loyalty to you. You now have a pack of zombie bears.
"This absurdity shall not continue!"
Use mug demon powers to punch Luck in the face and mug them for control of my die rolls.
Cast a horrible face melting curse on the cowardly traitors in my cult. Attempt to bolster my realm even further.
"Get out of here and give up your evil ways and I'll spare you, if you don't I'll destroy you."
Look at all of the equipment I haven't destroyed to see if I can use it to find out where Goatsby is currently.
"Wait a second is a Martheus?"
Distract the woman for a second via pointing her dress and naming an dead famous tailor. Use that second to double stab her.
Continue polishing, blissfully unaware of the presence behind me. I must achieve radiance.
"Okay, guys. Our next destination is Castle Adjilia. I'll lead the way!"5+1
Lead the way, try to avoid bandits and other hazards.
Help by providing light, protection and healing magic in the way6
Alright, let’s get going! If any bandits or similar annoyances try to attack us along the way, make it their last mistake.3
Run away from the forest fire back to the alchemy hut, leave the athame and take the probably milk and run off back to the village.
(Thanks, I appreciate hearing that. Things like that are what make these games worth running.)-Snipped out zombie-bear stuff.-(HONESTLY, IRL I SHED A SINGLE, JOYOUS TEAR AT THE SHEER BADASSERY OF THIS AS I READ IT. BRAVO.)
MAKE AN EXPLORATORY ATTEMPT TO CAREFULLY CUT DOWN A SMALLISH TREE USING MY MAKESHIFT AXE. PONDER WHETHER MY NEWLY-ZOMBIFIED BEAR PALS WOULD FIT INTO MY STEAM WAGON.
Cast Stone to Flesh on the Moon, in hopes that it will fight back against the Sun.
>Grab a toolbox
I believe you're still accepting new players(I am indeed taking new players. Also, KANE LIVES.)
Name: William
Description: Nod cultist
Why do you want milk? Kane requires Milk for his "waffles", what ever those may be William does not know.
Set out from the presence of Kane in search of milk or cows to buy or steal.
"This absurdity shall not continue!"
Use mug demon powers to punch Luck in the face and mug them for control of my die rolls.
Hold on, if I can use the power of belief to become god of the sun, then that means...
I have to try this.
Order the sun to attack Goatsby instead and then, use the power of belief to become god of MILK!
[Fair enough.]
Wait and watch. If anyone starts dooming the world, beat them until they die. Thos conflict may work itself out, then I can go back to my wandering.
DESTROY THE DOOM MUG. DESTROY IT USING ALL OF THE POWERS IN ME INVESTED BY THE EARTH AND SKY FOREVER.Imic, of you kill me, you are so screwed.
No comment.DESTROY THE DOOM MUG. DESTROY IT USING ALL OF THE POWERS IN ME INVESTED BY THE EARTH AND SKY FOREVER.Imic, of you kill me, you are so screwed.
It's not a threat, it's a warning.No comment.DESTROY THE DOOM MUG. DESTROY IT USING ALL OF THE POWERS IN ME INVESTED BY THE EARTH AND SKY FOREVER.Imic, of you kill me, you are so screwed.
Am I still god of the Sun?
Break Aaron's face. Then break him.If this dumbass manages to find me and attack me, use the Dragonruler Greatsword to cut his head off, and then use the Daemei Greathammer like a golf club with his head (whether it ended up severed or not).
Break Aaron's face. Then break him.
Okay then. Default solution: DOOM MUG! Directly above the castle.Shoot fake ATHATH from my Anti-Materiel Rifle with explosive ammo to stagger him and prevent his action.
Name: Dr. Florence Bedlam((WE SHOULD TEAM UP! AS THE SAYING GOES, TWO MAD SCIENTISTS ARE BETTER THAN ONE. ALSO I HAVE DOPE SECRET LAIR AND AWESOME STEAM ENGINE/TANK-THINGY FILLED WITH ZOMBIE BEARS!))
Description: A young woman from England who appeared to had been cut into pieces and sewn back together before being reanimated, Florence is an aspiring mad scientist who uses her extensive knowledge of human (and non-human) anatomy, a wide variety of surgical tools, and dark energies to create grotesque reanimated horrors that functioned as servants and killing machines. Florence wears a white knee-high gown with a red riding cloak.
Why do you want milk?: Because whether masquerading as a helpful physician to lure invictimsvolunteers for her experiments or plotting the downfall of someone who'd trifled with her, even a villain wants to live up to her self-applied moniker of 'Milk Addict' by drinking as much of the sweet white nectar as she can.
Search the village for a glass of milk (and perhaps a potential 'volunteer' or two).
((WE SHOULD TEAM UP! AS THE SAYING GOES, TWO MAD SCIENTISTS ARE BETTER THAN ONE. ALSO I HAVE DOPE SECRET LAIR AND AWESOME STEAM ENGINE/TANK-THINGY FILLED WITH ZOMBIE BEARS!))
IF IT SEEMS LIKE IT WILL SAFELY FIT, LOAD TREE INTO/ONTO WAGON ALONGSIDE BEARS
THEN GET IN AND DRIVE STEAM WAGON BACK TO MY BASE. PREFERABLY WITHOUT SMASHING THROUGH VILLAGE AGAIN BUT I DON'T MIND TOO MUCH, REALLY
((FINGERS CROSSED THIS DOESN'T END BADLY O-O;))
"Well that was different, I didn't mean for them to kill themselves in such a weird way, but if that's how they want to go about things, so be it."
Keep looking at the equipment and see if I can get a better idea of where Goatsby is on the other side of the world.
"COME, MY NEMESIS. COME FACE ME IN MY DIMENSION OF DEMENTIA."
taunt The Priest with this message, inviting him to my Domain for a battle to the death.
Let's start gathering the undead warriors and blessing them with holy strenght, making them stronger and tougher.(I'm assuming you only mean to assist one faction, since helping both wouldn't help you.)
Hmn...3+1
Get a big white flag with which display our peaceful purpose, and use it to enter the castle.
EDIT: SM, you rolled a 6.
"We just can't travel to the destination without some adversary or puzzle stopping us on the path, right?"
Assist Aaron Blaze.
Also, stop ATHATH(s) from harming Aaron, should ATHATH attack Aaron.
Shoot fake ATHATH from my Anti-Materiel Rifle with explosive ammo to stagger him and prevent his action.6, 1-1 vs 4
If this dumbass manages to find me and attack me, use the Dragonruler Greatsword to cut his head off, and then use the Daemei Greathammer like a golf club with his head (whether it ended up severed or not).(I'm interpreting dropping a Doom Mug with you in the potential blast zone as an "attack")
Okay then. Default solution: DOOM MUG! Directly above the castle.2
EP, I didn't mean to change domains, I meant to become the milk god as well as the sun god.
Transform back into my normal form.
Now I need to stop myself, stop the Sun, fix the moon and save castle Adjilia! Damn it people, you are adding too much to my to do list!
Am I still god of the Sun?
DESTROY THE DOOM MUG. DESTROY IT USING ALL OF THE POWERS IN ME INVESTED BY THE EARTH AND SKY FOREVER.
"I, BARON BARON VON BARON declare that I am most awesome!
Go to the tavern and brag about adventure while chugging the spider milk.
"Hmm, that's no good. I'll take note of this farm, but I fear they will not cooperate without a significant amount of brothers in Kane to assist me. Perhaps another farm is more hospitable."
Take note of this place and it's traps a later date and set out for another farm with goats or cows.
Cast Suggestion on the Moon. "Attack the Sun. Now."
"I have a plan. Armor polish harder your shine will be our weapon of victory"1+1 vs 3-1
Parry the darkness.
I must achieve radiance that surpasses that of the sun! Continue polishing, still blissfully unaware.4+2 for previous successes
(sorry i missed a bunch again)(No problem.)
I will keep my end of the bargain. "Thank you. The milk should still be on my windowsill."
Take the book and athame for later study. Loot nearby animal corpses for valuable resources. Thank the sun, and remain otherwise neutral in regards to the ongoing conflict.
Name: Dr. Florence Bedlam
Description: A young woman from England who appeared to had been cut into pieces and sewn back together before being reanimated, Florence is an aspiring mad scientist who uses her extensive knowledge of human (and non-human) anatomy, a wide variety of surgical tools, and dark energies to create grotesque reanimated horrors that functioned as servants and killing machines. Florence wears a white knee-high gown with a red riding cloak.
Why do you want milk?: Because whether masquerading as a helpful physician to lure invictimsvolunteers for her experiments or plotting the downfall of someone who'd trifled with her, even a villain wants to live up to her self-applied moniker of 'Milk Addict' by drinking as much of the sweet white nectar as she can.
Search the village for a glass of milk (and perhaps a potential 'volunteer' or two).
((WE SHOULD TEAM UP! AS THE SAYING GOES, TWO MAD SCIENTISTS ARE BETTER THAN ONE. ALSO I HAVE DOPE SECRET LAIR AND AWESOME STEAM ENGINE/TANK-THINGY FILLED WITH ZOMBIE BEARS!))Spoiler: Florence Beldam (click to show/hide)
IF IT SEEMS LIKE IT WILL SAFELY FIT, LOAD TREE INTO/ONTO WAGON ALONGSIDE BEARS
THEN GET IN AND DRIVE STEAM WAGON BACK TO MY BASE. PREFERABLY WITHOUT SMASHING THROUGH VILLAGE AGAIN BUT I DON'T MIND TOO MUCH, REALLY
((FINGERS CROSSED THIS DOESN'T END BADLY O-O;))
>Grab an actual, robust toolbox before putting the tools I picked up in it.
Get rid of the local Doom Mug.
Then get rid of Fallacy. I don’t care.Get rid of the local Doom Mug.
There isn't one, Fallacy got a 2.
"This kind of feels like a trap, but I don't have any other leads."
Pick up the heaviest thing in the room and drop it threw the portal if nothing bad happens, stick my hand threw then pull it out and if that goes well, jump threw the portal.
Order serpents to spiral around me, guarding me from incoming attacks. Enhance myself with Dementia's energy, and attack whatever comes through the portal with magic and crushing blows.
Did I say punch the doom mug? I SAID DESTROY IT WITH THE POWERS INVESTED IN ME! END THIS MILKY MUG OF MADNESS!
AND MAYO
F*ck you you pathetic f*cking b*tch!(Fafnir vs Nephalem)
Use the power of my wrath and the Sun's wrath to transform back to normal and then megaton punch Fafnir down to the Earth so he hits Fake-ATHATH.
Diablo is the only one willing to voice it, but all the consciousnesses are pissed.
>Look again for a toolbox so I can put my newly obtained tools in it, and look for insulated gloves which I'm definitely not using for engineering purposes 100% of the time.
See if I can do something to fix the clockwork crossbowmen.(Initiative:CABL, then guards vs defenders)
In any case, throw grenades at the attackers.
"You! You are the cause of this! Your curse on me dies today! No more shall my luck be terrible!"
Transmorgify Aaron's head into a mug. Then banish him to the Mug Dimension.
(Aaron vs Mug-ATHATH)Then get rid of Fallacy. I don’t care.Get rid of the local Doom Mug.
There isn't one, Fallacy got a 2.
Put him someplace where he can make random mugs and play with them and not hurt anyone. I don’t know, maybe punt him off to some other universe where he can be the god of mugs?
Summon phantoms of heroes centuries old, and have them assist the undead in combat.2
Ask the villagers what adventure waits and tasks they can ask the BARON BARON VON BARON OF HOUSE BARON!
"Hmm, no other farms are near. Well I suppose I must gather some brothers in Nod and have a talking to those farmers."
Search for other Nod cultists to aid me in my quest to get milk for the great prophet Kane!
Go back to my house. Study the book and athame to see if I can glean any useful information.
attack the woman with the light of Bothadtam helping to more easily detect the magical darkness.
I... I must shine more... I will become shiniest.
Must shine more.
"He seems to be quite a fellow. Perhaps I should follow him... after I grab a few 'helpers' to fashion something to impress him."
Continue searching for some 'helpers'. Once found, knock them out with chloroform and reassemble them into a spider-like monstrosity. Use it to travel to that fellow mad scientist's base.
Use poetry and our mutual androgyninity to get the Sun to fall in love with me.(Genius.)
ONE MORE TIME!!! DESTROY THE DEMONIC MILK MOON MUG!!There is obstinance, and then there is just pure idiocy. Adam will beat up Fafnir for using his powers to do nothing more than smash the enemy with no thought.
"Aaron, get down and help us with the invaders!"On it!
Use my Silenced Sniper Rifle to kill the invaders!
"I'm glad I threw the table in first."
Quickly kill the snakes with the holy sword, then run behind Goatsby and stab or slice at him.
"REALLY? THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING TO BE? YOU'RE PLANNING TO 'heh, nothing personnel, kid.' ME?"(Harold vs Snakes)
HURL EXPLOSIVE, MAGIC INSULTS AT HAROLD. ORDER MY SERPENTS TO TEAR HIM APART.
ONE MORE TIME!!! DESTROY THE DEMONIC MILK MOON MUG!!
ONE MORE TIME!!! DESTROY THE DEMONIC MILK MOON MUG!!There is obstinance, and then there is just pure idiocy. Adam will beat up Fafnir for using his powers to do nothing more than smash the enemy with no thought.
Transform back and send Fafnir to the elder plain.
Sun, use your powers to assist me in returning to normal. Or to destroy Fafnir, either is good.(Transform)
scream at question to the other monster (the one we were preraring for before we were ambushed by the woma).
"Hey, are you okay?"
I don't know if I can take this much further. I'll stop for now, and begin wandering around, looking for someone or something exciting.
Set off in search of fox glove in a suitably musical fashion.
"Aaron, get down and help us with the invaders!"5 vs 1-2
Use my Silenced Sniper Rifle to kill the invaders!
Use my holy powers to create a lightning storm over the heads of the undead enemies in the castle.6 vs 2-2
(How many...HP? Why, that's simple they, um, have...er...what's that over there!)"Aaron, get down and help us with the invaders!"On it!
Use my Silenced Sniper Rifle to kill the invaders!
Let’s go wreck some invaders!
-Query, how much health do they have? I want it in HP.
"Onwards brothers, Kane shall have his milk! First off, those with armor go at the guards head on, while those who don't sneak around and attack them from behind, and anyone unarmed should stay back until the farmers are captured. For Kane!"(William vs Farm)
Command the Nod Horde to capture the farm for Kane, and subdue the guards.
Blinking in confusion, Florence will ask where is she. She will also ask for supplies.
Apologize to the Moon for using Suggestion on it, and thank it for helping me.
Then, ask the Sun how I can assist.
SHRUG AND, UNLESS I SEE ANYTHING ELSE OF INTEREST, CONTINUE ON HOMEWARDS WHILST PRACTICING MY ZOMBIE-BEAR-CHOIR CONDUCTING SKILLS. PARK A SAFE DISTANCE AWAY FROM MY BASE, IF SUCH A THING IS POSSIBLE.
"ow"
>Use magic to make it rain rocket propelled grenade-filled toolboxes on the demon.
Lament giving my milk to strangers without first examining what they gave me in return. Then again, maybe there's a way to repair the damage...
Go on another adventure for useful potion materials.
Tackle the Unholy Doom Pail Mug to the ground, so that it doesn’t crash into anything.Stop this.
???Tackle the Unholy Doom Pail Mug to the ground, so that it doesn’t crash into anything.Stop this.
???Tackle the Unholy Doom Pail Mug to the ground, so that it doesn’t crash into anything.Stop this.
Ask the Sun for the name of the sun god. Tell the Sun that due to operational security, I cannot tell it why I need the name.Try it, I dare you.
The attack doesn't actually make much progress this time. When the farmers spot the invaders, they knock down a false windmill. Inside is a ramshackle wooden construction of two false legs supporting a rotating array of three incendiary alchemical cannons controlled by a pilot.Just wondering: is this a Metal Gear or something?
It's a handmade, 12th century version of this. (http://cnc.wikia.com/wiki/Juggernaut_(Tiberium_Wars))Got it.
Double back through the portal to Dementia. Resume powering myself up with it's energies and hurl a massive magic missile through the portal, staying clear of any blast that might come out of the portal.
Jump threw the portal after Goatsby with the holy sword at the ready, be prepared to parry any thing that comes my way.(Escape)
"thanks for the help armor. I am going to return this sword to his owner do you want to come with me?"6
start travelling back to the king.
Nod in agreement. I would like to come with. I will come with.6
Challenge the Unholy Pail to a duel inside the Mug Dimension!3
"I'll take this Muscle McHeadHole on myself! You go and fight The Pail!"1-1 vs 5
Bring out the Automatic rifle (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Automatic_rifle) and shoot at Grognar!
If he gets too close, takedown (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Ranger_Takedownl) him.
EDIT: fixed some derpy things
Oh. Whoops.5 vs 1+1
Whelp, in that case, intimidate Grognar by threatening to help him do a Team Rocket impression again.
Also, reason for asking about HP: I wanted to know if it was 20 or less so that I could just insta-kill them with Aaron’s elemental death aura.
Dive straight down from the atmosphere to impale Grognar with my sword.5+1 vs 5
Buy a propper and fittingly ornate hammer head cane and cloak and spend the rest on beer, ale, wine, what not and get utterly drunk!
Damn it Sun, what would convince you to not destroy the earth?
Ask the Sun for the name of the sun god. Tell the Sun that due to operational security, I cannot tell it why I need the name.(Note:You can't mind control other players.)
"New plan brothers, that thing would kill us all anyone who has a bow and arrows needs to light one on fire and shoot it at that things supports."
Order the nod horde to shoot flaming arrows at the supports of this makeshift artillery if they actually have anyone who can. Then have the horde sneak in to resume the attack.
"Well, that was a blimey experience, was it? In fact, it is so blimey that I feel like hunting for corpses and constructing minions out of their parts just to push such an embarrassing dream out of my head.
Go hunt for body parts to build minions.
"The Mug Dimension? About time..."
Finally. Call upon the mighty forces hiding within the Mug Dimension and use my will as a Mug Demon to force their allegiance!
Keep swinging the holy sword at Goatsby, and be prepared for any tricks he tries to pull.
Grognar, my arm alone is a holy warrior that fights to save the earth. The rest of me is fully capable of doing a lot more.Don't forget your avert-the-damn-apocalypse powers.
Use luxturgy and pyroturgy to help turn Grognar into the new Sun, along with my powers as the sun god. Then use nyxturgy to tear apart the pail's realm of shadows.
Yes, that too.Grognar, my arm alone is a holy warrior that fights to save the earth. The rest of me is fully capable of doing a lot more.Don't forget your avert-the-damn-apocalypse powers.
Use luxturgy and pyroturgy to help turn Grognar into the new Sun, along with my powers as the sun god. Then use nyxturgy to tear apart the pail's realm of shadows.
Since the Mug dimension hates ATHATHs, does it like me?
Keep swinging the holy sword at Goatsby, and be prepared for any tricks he tries to pull.
Pull a trick he isn't prepared for.(Harold vs Goatsby)
...the sun left. Goddamnit.2 vs 5
Throw Grognar out into space and make him be the new sun. He should be nonsentient when this is finished.
Grognar, my arm alone is a holy warrior that fights to save the earth. The rest of me is fully capable of doing a lot more.1+1 vs 2, 6
Launch Grognar t where the sun was (or don't if Glass did it anyway). Then use luxturgy and pyroturgy to help turn Grognar into the new Sun, along with my powers as the sun god. Then use nyxturgy to tear apart the pail's realm of shadows.
Get away from Grognar!2 vs 6
Use my sniper rifle to help The Holy Grail by "killing" the small pails The Unholy Pail has summoned!
Summon the armies of the Mug Dimension for help. Use my holy magic to create a shield of sacred light.(Unholy Pail action:Attack Grail)
"Keep firing! Someone go get a cannon of our own to deal with this thing!"5, 4 vs 2
Send someone off to get a cannon, while having the rest of the horde keep shooting until it starts going down.
Wake up, see where I am and check to see if the fair BARON BARON VON BARON has been robbed
Give the king the sword. I am going to finish this quest and even lack of sun will not stop me
Paying the disappearance of the sun and the catastrophic consequences it will have on all life on earth no mind, Dlorence was only happy that she found corpses to reanimate. Nothing shall impede the progress ofunethicaladventurous science!
Stitch together and reanimate an army of subservient horrors! Mwuahahahahaha!
"In that case, would you like to help me kill the other ATHATHs?"
Ask the question. Also harness the power of the Mug Dimension to summon the Mugonomicon.
Cast Vaarsuvius's Enhanced Scrying on the Sun to show me where it is.
Let's take everything back to my lab.
Put more milk on the windowsill, to help with whatever I thought was going to be useful earlier. Then examine the coins and badges in more detail.
Remember that this thing exists.I doubt Fafnir's mind is the world's sharpest tool.
Then create a portal out of thia dimension using my mind.
Try again. Harder this time.Same
Name : Sir Hektur
Class : Paladin of blazing sun
Why do I want milk : to help me on my quest.
Go on quest for simpleton bastards daring to kill symbol of our order and DAMN SUN
Try again. Harder this time.Same
You know, I just love how the Sun disappeared and no one cares. They've all been desensitized to the apocalypse, or certain that Nephilim, official guardian of the earth, will save them.
"TOUCHING ME WILL BE THE LAST THING YOU EVER DO, DISEMBODIED ARM. EI NATH!"
Cast Disintegrating Touch and grab the severed arm, and try to use it on Harold too if he's close enough to touch with my other hand.
"I don't know what kind of evil magic your doing but I don't want any part of it."(Init:Harold, Goatsby)
Get back up and back away form Goatsby, then throw the bottle of holy water at him.
" Well yes I needed it at the time, you can have it back plus this sword I found somewhere and part of the cow herd I just won"3+1
offer the knight his horse back, the extra sword and 1\4 of the promised reward (1\2 goes to Bothadtam and the last 1\4 to me)
Offer my reward to the knight instead of new friend's. Friendship is the greatest reward of them all!6
Wander out of the bar and search for a place to rest.
>:(
Try again. Harder this time.
Same3+1 vs 5, 3
You know, I just love how the Sun disappeared and no one cares. They've all been desensitized to the apocalypse, or ceratain that Nephilim, official guardian of the earth, will save them.
Pray to get a bonus againt evil pails. Try to summon King Arthur and his legendary knights for aid.6, 6
Dodge Grognar's attacks to open his defense, then trip him.1 for dodging, 5 vs 5 to attack GROGNAR.
Remember that this thing exists.4
Then create a portal out of thia dimension using my mind.
"You see, this is why I need to kill Luck. Come on, then!"5
Muster my mug hosts and create a portal to the luck guy's castle!
Florence's mouth dropped open then closed again. A little disappointed, she nevertheless shrugged and left the scene. Perhaps things will be different this time?
Go dig up some corpses and stitch them together into a big monstrosity.
"HOLD ON, MY UNDEAD URSINE FRIENDS! WE SHALL BE HOME IN A JIFFY!"ACTIVATE WARP SPEEDACCELERATE
I SUPPOSE I SHOULD MENTION 'TRY TO DRIVE SAFELY' OR SOMETHING BUT I DOUBT THAT WOULD REALLY DO MUCH
Try casting Locate Creature on the image of the Sun from VES. That's how it works, right?
Experiment with the lukewarm spider milk.
Name : Sir Hektur
Class : Paladin of blazing sun
Why do I want milk : to help me on my quest.
Go on quest for simpleton bastards daring to kill symbol of our order and DAMN SUN
"Keep at it men, kill them and capture the the livestock!"
Have the horde capture the farm.
CABL, Mallos, you know your characters aren't dead, they're just in Heaven and Hell respectively. You can still play them. In fact...
For Anna
Hello miss, welcome to Heaven, would you like to respawn?
For Goatsby and Grognar
Welcome to Hell, may I take your order? NO! because we're going to start the torture now.
Use my newfound knowledge of nuclear explosions along with my power as the sun God and my powers as a demon and angel to control fire and light, and finally by +1 to saving the world to create a new sun right where the old one was. Then send these two thorns in my side off to The Void.
While being protected by my knights and using the extra bonus I gained from the prayer, try to summon the armies of the mug dimension again. All of them.There is an open Mug Dimension portal at our present location...
CABL, Mallos, you know your characters aren't dead, they're just in Heaven and Hell respectively. You can still play them. In fact...
I'm not going to change anything til EP says somethin'.
While being protected by my knights and using the extra bonus I gained from the prayer, try to summon the armies of the mug dimension again. All of them.There is an open Mug Dimension portal at our present location...
@EP, Bonus valid?
Huh, I said something about joining this back ~turn 6. Funny how the end of a college semester will make you forget things.
Only 24 turns late though, right?
Still accepting new victims?
GET THE HOLY GRAIL. Or the holy pail. WHATEVER THE NAME OF THE DAMN THING IS, GET OUT OF THIS DIMENSION, AND GET. IT.
Oh. Hang on...GET THE HOLY GRAIL. Or the holy pail. WHATEVER THE NAME OF THE DAMN THING IS, GET OUT OF THIS DIMENSION, AND GET. IT.
Are you attacking Randomgenericusername's Holy Grail character, or the Unholy Pail NPC?
Since I'm the sun god, do I sense Chariot's prayer?
By the way, it's time for another summary.
Spoiler: The Revenant (click to show/hide)
Appearing from a dark cloud, the Revenant seeks milk.
now that the quest was finished. Is time to save the world.
Use a ritual to contact a sun god from another universe and start negotiations to gain a new sun in this universe.
Look for a tall place. A very tall place. From what I learned in high school physics, the taller you are, the more people can hear you. Find a place where everyone can hear me talk.
Well go off to teach people in the ways of calisthenics so they may live through the apocalypse fit and healthy
Seeing the frankenanimals watching her, Florence gave them a smile as she bellowed them to come closer, a plan already forming in her head:
After she animate the monstrosity, Florence will convince the frankenanimals closer so that she can give them a brain surgery to make them more subservient, promising them free candy or something in return for their compliance in a surgery to 'upgrade' them.
Sir Hektur shall pray to the sun for information on evildoers to beat in most knightly way.(Please bold your actions, it makes them easier for me to see when writing turns. I almost missed this one.)
"I have killed the demon summoner and the sun is still missing that must mean that there are still demons about, I must find them, but first my ally was injured I must help him."
Check on the arm if hes still alive use a healing spell on him, if he is dead give him a proper burial.
Originality is for those who can't play a Viking while making jokes about Viking stereotypes.
Name: Erik the LIV (Erik the Fifty-fourth)
Description: A (fairly) tall, (heavily) bearded, (somewhat) muscular, (slightly) bloodstained axeman wearing some lovely mail armor and a horn-less helmet and carrying an appropriately-proportioned Dane axe and otherwise dispelling the ridiculous myths about Vikings and Norsemen. Well, except for the fact that he's a berserker. And he's called Erik. And he pillages (then burns) things for a living.
Why do you want milk?: Would you have him make his mead out of something else? What do you think he is, some sort of barbarian?
Sail my longship up a river and look for a nice defenseless village to pillage and then burn.
Find a shop for magical items.(Glad you liked reading the original game! I think my favorite parts were Imic reversing time, the blackened ukuleles, and the giraffe president.)
"Kill that craftsman or capture him. We must keep fighting! For Kane!"
Order the horde not to let that craftsman near the fallen siege weapon and to keep up the offensive.
UNLOAD TREE FROM WAGON AND, USING CARPENTRY TOOLS I TOTALLY HAVE LYING AROUND IN MY LAIR, BEGIN CONSTRUCTING PLANNED FORTIFICATIONS.
IF I HAVE TIME, SET UP COMFY AREA FOR ZOMBEARS TO RELAX IN... NOT SURE IF THEY SORT OF ZOMBIES WHAT NEED REST OR ANYTHING BUT OH WELL THEY CAN BE COMFORTABLY UNDEAD NONETHELESS
Attempt to make friends with the potion spirit.
Well, it would be better if evil prepares its anus!3 vs 2Spoiler: THIS! IS! THE! PAINKILLER! (click to show/hide)
FALL FROM THE HEAVENS INTO THE CASTLE ADJILIA! !!EXPLOSIVELY!!
SLICE AND DICE THE UNHOLY PAIL WITH MY FRONT WHEEL!
o.o(Enter vengance-powered rampage)
>:(
VENGEANCE-POWERED RAMPAGE, ASSHOLES! GET RID OF ATHATH, GET RID OF FAFNIR, AND GO MAKE A NEW FUCKING SUN!
While being protected by my knights2and using the extra bonus I gained from the prayer, try to summon the armies of the mug dimension again. All of them.
"Ahem... MUG HOST, ATTACK!"(I figured that on this turn I'd allow the many targets for this action and Glass', since doing so increases the odds of suddenly getting wiped out by a string of bad rolls. Also, the whole "battle for the end of the world" thing made it seem appropriate. Didn't attack Painkiller, because he technically hasn't said he's an ally and your minions are demons who hate you.)
Sic my mug host on the luck guy and his allies. Also summon a DOOOOOOM MUG from the Mug Dimension because why not?
GET THE HOLY GRAIL. Or the holy pail. WHATEVER THE NAME OF THE DAMN THING IS, GET OUT OF THIS DIMENSION, AND GET. IT.(Fafnir vs Unholy Pail)
CABL, Mallos, you know your characters aren't dead, they're just in Heaven and Hell respectively. You can still play them. In fact...(Goatsby's soul is busy with being a hateghost, but you've got GROGNAR.)
For Anna
Hello miss, welcome to Heaven, would you like to respawn?
For Goatsby and Grognar
Welcome to Hell, may I take your order? NO! because we're going to start the torture now.
Use my newfound knowledge of nuclear explosions along with my power as the sun God and my powers as a demon and angel to control fire and light, and finally by +1 to saving the world to create a new sun right where the old one was. Then send these two thorns in my side off to The Void.
Transform Aaron's heart into a mug. Before he does luck voodoo. Fast! FAAAST!Why do you think that this would stop me? ???
Roll into Painkiller and make him trip and fall into the ground. This is MY holy grail milk, not going to let a guy who appeared out of nowhere to steal the win out of my hands. Use the power boost from the prayer that I saved for later.
Recover my milk from the Pail.
Dip my hand in and drink, thereby Obtaining Milk. Perform the Akashic Ritual with the time I have left using the vat as the reagent.
Ask my friendly potion spirit if there's any way we can survive whatever is going on outside.
drink milk with the armor, knight and king in celebration for a successful quest and that we have a sun again.
Look at the world around me. Observe as much as I possibly can.
"I wholeheartedly declare myself. BARON BARON VON BARON, to be responsible for that as the prophet of the sun and calisthenics!"
Gather worshippers for the calisthenic church of the sun and issue the one order: prophet needs booze
Go find materials for a necklace of adaptation.
This is what a necklace of adaptation does. (https://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic-items/wondrous-items/wondrous-items/m-p/necklace-of-adaptation/)
SLAP TOGETHER A WOODEN, ARROW-SHAPED SIGN USING LEFTOVER WOOD, WALK TO THE NEAREST ROAD OR WALKING TRACK AND INSTALL IT THERE, POINTING TOWARDS MY LAIR.
THE SIGN SAYS "MILK FOR SALE! 70% OFF THIS WEEK ONLY!"
THAT SHOULD KEEP MY BEARS FED AND ENTERTAINED.
Run up to the unholy pail, and tear the stolen life out of it. Seperate it and all of it's strength and power, and then destroy it.6 vs 3-1
Slam into The Unholy Pail again and make a huge hole in it with my fist barrage!1 vs 5-1
Drink all the milk from the hole, win the game.
Tap into all my luck-based powers from Undead Hunt that I have been denied all this time by setting myself on fire, and then freeze all of our enemies in ice with the elemental maelstrom that surrounds me!(Sorry for claiming in PMs that the Luck powers would help you, I didn't realize at the time that the hit you took last time would weaken you enough that the Mug Host could kill you.)
[Also of note: some of these powers included giving all my allies a +1 and all my enemies a -1. ;)]
Transform Aaron's heart into a cursed mug. Before he does luck voodoo. Fast! FAAAST!6-1 vs 4
Roll into Painkiller and make him trip and fall into the ground. This is MY holy grail milk, not going to let a guy who appeared out of nowhere to steal the win out of my hands. Use the power boost from the prayer that I saved for later.(Dangerous power boost)
Recover my milk from the Pail.
Kick the Holy Grail away from me.(Grail vs Painkiller)
Shatter the doom mug and throw the reckage at ATHATH.(Didn't apply bonus, since breaking up the Mug still potentially leaves the danger of its mass.)
"Keep fighting brothers, we shall overcome this farm for the glory of Kane!"(I hope you don't mind me nudging you to the castle, I just thought it would be best to merge the two gigantic battles going on.)
Command the horde to keep fighting and push through the farmers.
Travel to location of evildoers sun gave me, also try to gather as much paladins as possible on way there
"Why my dear creation, your purpose is to serve me as I go forth and make the world a better place," Florence told the antlered bearwolf hydra truthfully. After all, she is going to make the world a better place, even if it would only apply to her. See, even supervillains can be truthful! "To aid me in this noble quest, I must make you smarter so that you'll can easily think of ways to survive the terrible battles ahead. Come to me and I shall begin, my dear chap!"
Persuade the creature to agree to an 'intelligence enhancing surgery' which in reality only makes it more subservient to her will. If the bear/wolves/anthers cretins refuses and/or attacks her, kill it and add its parts to the franken-monstrosity to boost its capabilities. If the hybrid manages to escape, let it go. Chasing it is too stressful anyway.
Regardless of what happens, go find some people to use as the monstrosity's practice targets. I'm sure that a few Vikings, Nod cultists, FDI combatants, or demonic mugsannoyances will do.
Nope, this village looks lame. Priests never have the best loot. Go find where all the rich and dangerous people are.
Wow, I didn't actually realize just how close this actually was to ending, so I guess I'll just go find something really interesting to do (like finding the little Ragnarok you guys have started) before the game ends.
"The sun has returned but I can still feel the presence of the demos I must find them and destroy them."
Go and get a bottle and fill it with water then bless it and turn it into holy water, then pray for protection and go find a clue as to where the other demos might be.
((The worst thing is that we all had agreed to share the milk and suddenly everyone wants to take it for themselves. I'm definitely not letting those who abandoned me or people coming out of literally nowhere to suddenly just steal it from me.))
The worst thing is that we all had agreed to share the (MacGuffin) and suddenly everyone wants to take it for themselves.
Get to final battle to smash evil together with bodybuilding cult, I encountered earlier
"Harold... the foul priest... HAAAAAAROLD!"
Enraged, tear apart the land while tracking down the priest. Strike down anything that stands in my way with my preternatural strength.
Gather the cult and set off to the next town,
party harder we destroyed a evil castle and Knight became a prince or something we must celebrate.
Drink the holy milk which I have earned myself, achieving power that only a bath in the world-tree's mother-milk could grant. Then, turn back the doom-mug, and make it plummet into some other world, far from here.6, Auto-6.
Faster than a laser bullet, escape Pail Dimension and drink some Holy Milk.(Drink Milk)
Bike: Shoot the front wheel like a boomerang at False-ATHTATH.
((Okay, so I go on a quest for the holy milk for 30 turns, during which all of my teammates abandon me to do anything else. But once the legendary milk appears, suddenly everyone cares and wants to steal it.))4, 3+1
Pray. Recover my milk and become the True Holy Grail.
Meanwhile, somewhere up in heaven, a great burning eye opens... and the attached body decides that it is not ready to be done yet.(Summon)
Inform the host of Heaven of the great battle below us, rally its armies, and return with holy warriors to reclaim the mill of the grail!
[And presumably, my status as a god will give me some decent amount of authority over the angels...]
"All of this fighting has been caused by this milk, it must have been created by the devil himself, and so I must destroy it."5
Quickly make the bottle of water in to holy water and throw it in to the milk, if I can't make the holy water run forward and destroy the milk using the first method that comes to mind.
Get to final battle to smash evil together with bodybuilding cult, I encountered earlier(I asked for clarification on which evils Hektur would like to smash. He said all of them, starting with the closest. I figured that meant everybody, until something killed him and his followers.)
Cast Invisibility on myself, teleport to the Holy milk, and teleport away with the Holy milk.3
Yes. Yes it is.
A wild grin on her face, Florence marveled at her army of Frankenanimals as they trudged their way toward several combatants who are already fighting. Just as she was about to pick out a target, she saw a flood of a whitish liquid pouring toward them. She was about to inquire about what it could be when the wind picked up and blew the sweet smell of milk into her face. There seemed to be power in that smell; however, and Florence deducted that this was no ordinary milk. Licking her lips thirstily, and some may say lustfully, Florence:6
Used her army to push her way toward the wondrous white nectar. Once there, she drank as much of the lovely liquid as she can. Once sated, she charged her Frankenstein-esque army back into the ranks of the enemy and carved a swath of carnage through them, using her darkness-enhanced bonesaw to devastating effect.
"MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Alright men, we have moved into a different battle for different milk, but none the less we must get milk for Kane! Protect me while I gather the milk!"1
Order the Nod horde to focus on getting me to the holy milk. After I'm at the milk I will try to gather as much as I can and rush back to Kane with the milk.
Now THIS is a place worth pillaging! KILL EVERYTHING, INDISCRIMATELY! Oh, and somebody send a pigeon or a raven or a magic message from Ragnarok back to all our Viking allies, I'm sure they want to get in on all of this, too.(Summon Allies)
"Ahem. I, ATHATH, have come! Do you really think that this war will stop me? This world will bow before me as I seize the true ultimate power I seek! Never again shall you banish me or slay me or render me null or void! I summon your doom! I summon your DEATH! I invoke the seventh Law of Augerethas! The fourth law of Slaughiemas! Come! Come... come..."2+1
This is the endgame. Call upon my powers as a Mug Demon to summon the Mugonomicon. Use the secret lore within to summon the second level of DOOM MUG: the DEMISE MUG. While everyone's distracted by the DEMISE MUG, find Luck and kill it.
SHRUG BEMUSEDLY AS THOSE WEIRDOS PASS ME, FOLLOWING UP WITH A BIT OF A CACKLE5+1, 2+2, Auto-4.
THEN, IT IS TIME TO JUMP ON THE METAGAMING BANDWAGON (AS WELL AS MY MORE LITERAL WAGON), SPEED TO THE SITE OF THE ONGOING CLIMATIC BATTLE AND SWIPE AT LEAST ENOUGH OF THE HOLY MILK TO POWER THE DORMANT MONSTER IN MY LAB IN ORDER FOR HIM TO AVERT THE IMPENDING APOCALYPSE - OR AT LEAST SHIELD MY BEARS AND I FROM IT
Beat the everloving shit out of Fafnir and ATHATH, by the way, as I said, Heaven and Hell decided to charge the Earth. Neither would hit Nephilim as he works for both, however, Heaven would slam ATHATH and Hell would rush Fafnir.(I'm not sure where you said they would. You had to roll to summon Heaven and Hell. You got a 5 though, so it worked out.)
[notices the fact that despite being rolled for, Aaron does not actually appear in the turn]
Continue fighting. If the Brotherhood of Nod and the Farmers Defense Initiative comes knocking, well... make like an alien invasion and exterminate them all! No extraterrestrial crystals required! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"You need more pylons.
With a horizontal slice of her bonesaw, Florence separated the poor chap's head from his shoulders.
"Hello, Father. The world may be ending. Do you really wish me to save it, or just keep us alive? I hope this is not disrespectful, but I'm not sure which someone like you would prefer.""EH... DO WHAT YOU LIKE, REALLY. I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE THOSE SMALL-MINDED INGRATES WOULD BE TERRIBLY THANKFUL EVEN IF YOU SAVED EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM. BUT THE EARTH HERSELF IS WORTH SAVING, IS SHE NOT? I'D RATHER NOT BE COOPED UP IN HERE FOR ALL ETERNITY. WHATEVER YOU DO, THOUGH, KEEP YOURSELF SAFE, MY CHILD. I DON'T WANT MY BEAUTIFUL CREATION COMING TO ANY HARM!"
Enjoy some fine wine in heaven with righteous sirs and fine angel ladies
throw my cloak away revealing that I am not a vampire.
Then continue dancing and sharing milk and apple juice with the other party-goers.
In a panic, start crafting the necklace of adaptation.
Suggest they name the town BARONSTEIN
Daarrrn.
Name: John Smith
Description: Your average joe. John.
Why do you want milk: I'm thirsty.
Go to the local grocery store. Buy some milk.
"See the milk was evil, the holy water destroyed it, and that means the mug is some kind of demon, and all of you fell for it's lies, but I was to late to destroy all of the milk and it got some and has reached its full power, we must destroy it before it kills us all!"(Readying)
Ready my holy sword to strike down anyone who attacks me, if no one attacks me I shall attack the "grail" mug.
Ascend to godhood, fly to the skies and reach eternal life in the heavens. Trascend my physical limitations and become an eternal source of the sacred milk (and win!)Auto-4, Auto-4, Auto-4, Auto-4.
Stop the fighting for a short time using my restored sacred powers. Gift everyone (except those planning to use it's power for their own benefit.) a bottle of my holy milk.
For showing up in exactly two turns, I think that last battle went pretty well for Erik.(I'm assuming that "everyone" means everyone in the battle, rather than everyone in the entire world.)
Shall we ride with the warriors of Valhalla to fight in the probably-world-ending battle, because seriously that's the only reason this afterlife exists (training to fight in Ragnarok) and there are still people who need killing. Use Valhalla's doors to show up next to literally everyone, and try to kill them, and then claim the milk to make some really good mead. Besides, if it turns out to not have actually been Ragnarok, that's fine, just consider it some practice for the final apocalypse.
"HAAAAROOOOOOLD!"1, 2 vs 3+1
Casts horrible Revenant magic at Harold, empowering it with my hatred
Accept the graciously-provided Grail Milk, I guess.
I want to harness my Luck God powers, finally, and make my holy milk give me auto-5s instead of auto-4s.Auto-5
"We should go back to the farm then, we'll just get slaughtered on all sides here. Also who's that crazy lady with all the reanimated animals, Kane may have use of her. We may still complete our objective yet."3
Send a diplomat to Bedlam, and push through back to the farm to capture and milk the cows.
"I humbly request on behalf of Kane, our Enlightened Messiah and Great Prophet, an alliance between you and the Brotherhood of Nod."(Reanimate Erik)
Florence tilted her head at the diplomat of 'Nod'. What a strange name for a cult! Is it comprised entirely of yes-men?
On any normal day, she would've hooked up with any cultists, if only to slaughter some heroes. Now, she's having too much fun by herself to care about any sort of alliance with a bunch of numbskulls. On the other hand, she could use some more spare parts for her frankenanimals.
With a horizontal slice of her bonesaw, Florence separated the poor chap's head from his shoulders. Stitching his hands to his head, she reanimated both parts and ordered the shambling corpse to send this message back to his master:
"I don't bloody know who or what this Kane is. No doubt that he's a foul, atrociously ugly fanny-faced, drooling, snot-headed, hairy tongued, warty cunt who thinks he's Jesus-come-again. If you want to worship a true goddess, a more useful person, come to me, all of you, and swear fealty to me. Don't try anything, for I am the Supremely Capable, Really Intelligent boffiN, and I will brook no attacks against my person. Now make haste and grovel at your queen's luscious feet!"
Continue fighting. If the Brotherhood of Nod and the Farmers Defense Initiative comes knocking, well... make like an alien invasion and exterminate them all! No extraterrestrial crystals required! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Also, punish Erik by removing his head from his thick neck and adding his corpse to the towering monstrosity under her command. Punish Harold by ordering the monstrosity to devour him. Lastly, scream in rage at the audacity of that Grail upon realizing that he stole the milk and that she cannot get it back, before enhancing herself with dark energies and taking her frustration out on everyone nearby!.
Accept the Holy Milk and drink it! Win the Game!2, 1
If the Holy Milk gets destroyed again, go and milk that cow from earlier while telling my bike to attack the vandal.
If the Holy Milk doesn't get destroyed, fulfill the prophesy of Painkiller by resurrecting everyone who was a good (wo)man during their life, and also making the Earth indestructible no matter what.
(Determining monster's intent)"Hello, Father. The world may be ending. Do you really wish me to save it, or just keep us alive? I hope this is not disrespectful, but I'm not sure which someone like you would prefer.""EH... DO WHAT YOU LIKE, REALLY. I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE THOSE SMALL-MINDED INGRATES WOULD BE TERRIBLY THANKFUL EVEN IF YOU SAVED EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM. BUT THE EARTH HERSELF IS WORTH SAVING, IS SHE NOT? I'D RATHER NOT BE COOPED UP IN HERE FOR ALL ETERNITY. WHATEVER YOU DO, THOUGH, KEEP YOURSELF SAFE, MY CHILD. I DON'T WANT MY BEAUTIFUL CREATION COMING TO ANY HARM!"
KICK BACK AND RELAX WHILST RAGNAROK RAGES OUTSIDE. MAYBE SWITCH ON THE FLATSCREEN IN THE TORTURE CHAMBER-CUM-LIVING ROOM AND SEE IF I CAN PICK UP ANY TV CHANNELS FROM INSIDE THIS POCKET DIMENSION
FONDLY PINCH MY BELOVED MONSTER BABY'S CHEEKS AND LET HIM/HER/THEM/IT AMUSE ITSELF BY SAVING (OR NOT SAVING) THE WORLD AND ITS INHABITANTS FROM THEIR IMMINENT DESTRUCTION
Drink the holy grail milk and use all the power at my disposal, including my world saving bonus, to just stop everyone's insanty with the armies of heaven and hell at my side.1, 1+1
A battle? Fighting isn't good. I don't like fighting.5
"Hey, everyone!"
...
"Hey, you there!"
...
"HEY YOU FIGHTING PEOPLE!
Fighting isn't good, and you shouldn't do it. What are you fighting about? I'm a certified conflict resolutionist, maybe I could help? Please?"
Glancing at the man yelling at everyone to stop fighting, Florence gave him a derisive snicker.
"Your precious little words are better spent on insulting us!" she retorted. "Pretty much everyone here are committed to fighting! You came to the wrong place with your pathetic pleas of pacifism!"
Well, my personal headcanon is that Cassandra tries to escape, but then after everything else, lived a happy life with her friend Potion Spirit.We all know what happened to Adam, since he showed up in M&M I.
Commits seppaku againYou could always make an RTD of your own!
Wait, why am I the one doing this?
That was great, I'm assuming we're a third(?) timeline now.
(Out of milk the first time, corrected timeline to have milk, went back in time and stole milk to diverge the timeline.)
That said I wonder what details will be important in the next one? That is if you even make a Minimalism and Milk III.
Well, my personal headcanon is that Cassandra tries to escape, but then after everything else, lived a happy life with her friend Potion Spirit.
What happened to Vaarsuvius? When does this take place relative to OotS? Where did Vaarsuvius teleport to? How will Vaarsuvius's relationship with the Sun end?
And who is this mysterious figure ducking behind a building?
I gave milk to everyone and we all won the game together. I had a lot of fun and really enjoyed the game.
What happened to Vaarsuvius? When does this take place relative to OotS? Where did Vaarsuvius teleport to? How will Vaarsuvius's relationship with the Sun end?
And who is this mysterious figure ducking behind a building?
1.He escaped with the Necklace of Adaption.
2.Vaarsuvius' adventures took place between comics 802 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0802.html) and 835. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0835.html) Vaarsuvius had actually lost Yukyuk and left the Semi-Elemental Plane of Ranch Dressing at one point and had the storyline featured here before eventually returning to assist Prince Oozalot and his true love Gootrude. From there, Vaarsuvius eventually reintegrated into the OOTS plot and never talked about this whole weird story again. A side trek into Narnia was responsible for the unusually stretched time from V's perspective
3.The Sun's location, unless you were thinking of somewhere else.
4.They tried a romantic relationship, but it ultimately didn't work out due to the Sun's general antipathy toward organics and Vaarsuvius' more intellectual interests. They remained friends and ultimately teamed up as interstellar/extradimensional private detectives to pay off certain debts until the Sun retired to become a beekeeper.
5.I'm not sure, this sounds like a reference to something I'm not aware of.