Bay 12 Games Forum
Finally... => Forum Games and Roleplaying => Topic started by: Morrigi on January 01, 2013, 01:12:47 am
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You are a potato. Being a potato, it is rather odd that you realize this.
Energy: 24/24
Water: 24/24
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Realize being a potato sucks. Cry out all the water. Die .
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Grow.
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Poke a shoot towards the light.
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Sprout potatolings from self, become potato overmind
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Become a god. Turn the planet into potatoes. Conquer the galaxy with your spuddy apendages.
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Realize being a potato sucks. Cry out all the water. Die .
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Sprout potatolings from self, become potato overmind
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Potatoes aren't that bad, they power Aperture Labs!
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Grow.
+1
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See if I can see with my eyes.
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See if I can see with my eyes.
Well, if you're seeing if you can see, doesn't that mean you can see?
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Observe Surrounding, Are we on a shelf, In a jar, or in the ground? Also start reproducing asexually by producing Potato Shoots.
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Grow.
+1
+1
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Stop +1ing yourself, that's cheating!
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Grow.
+1
+1
+2
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Stop +1ing yourself, that's cheating!
+1
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Grow.
+1
+1
+2
+Corai
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Too bad a Kobold vote is worth less than zero....
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Too bad a Kobold vote is worth less than zero....
So that would mean -5?
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More like -7 but you have the right idea
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Too bad a Kobold vote is worth less than zero....
+ElfCorai
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Elf votes are like -20 nowadays
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Too bad a Kobold vote is worth less than zero....
+ElfCorai
That's even worse.
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Corai
C + O + R + A + I
2+1+2+1+1=7
Corai's vote is worth seven. How about Kobold?
K + O + B + O + L + D
2+1+2+1+2+2=9
Therefore, CORAI (7), who is a KOBOLD (9), has a vote of 8 ((7+9)/2).
Grow.
+1
+1
+2
+8
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No. You're looking at it all wrong, my Kobold friend.
A Kobold is half of a person, so it's 1/2.
An Elf is half of a Kobold, and one fourth of a person. 1/4.
Since you said ElfCorai, and not Elf+Corai, you are looking for a product, not a sum.
.5•.25=.125
You are one-eighth of a vote. If you're modifying a +4, you just made it a +.5.
You've just devalued that plan.
Your number system also needs work. I'm not sure why you decided to use Corai+Kobold, though. If Corai is a Kobold, then it shouldn't be added to Kobold. That's like adding a penis to a man.
But if your numbers are accurate, Kobold cannot be inside of Corai, as Corai has a lower value and therefore cannot hold Kobold without bursting like a balloon is apt to do.
I am sorry, but mathematics rejects your 'quaint' theory and is currently mocking you while drinking tea with the Easter Bunny.
Don't laugh, they do this every Tuesday. Good chums, them.
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Tell me, how often do you post in the Homestuck thread?
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As I'm the last post before yours, I'll assume you're talking to me (perhaps incorrectly) and answer with a firm "never been."
I'm also going to assume this has to do with his system of assigning numerical values to his name?
Tell me, am I correct on both fronts?
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It involves a complex inventory system that places things into one of ten slots, depending on the numerical values of the letters involved. Consonants count as a two while vowels are a one. Or you could switch it around by modifying the settings on the back of the modus. And then it's never really mentioned again.
For example, BOX (2+1+2) would be five.
Corai is a seven and kobold is a nine. Both are valid definitions of the person posting. I merely averaged the two definitions.
Let's add another definition.
Bay12er.
2+1+2+1+2(Assume numbers are themselves)+1+2.
11, which becomes 1 to fit with the 1-10.
So Corai's vote becomes (1+7+8)/3, 16/3, 5 (.33 is rounded down).
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You attempt to conquer the galaxy with your spuddy appendages. Unfortunately, you explode. You are now splattered on the inside of the refrigerator, congratulations.
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Right. Except I still don't see why he is adding Kobold to Corai. Again, I direct you to my earlier comparison of dual-phalluses.
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Oh, hey! Look at that, a forum game!
Splatter self indefinitely. Play to your strengths, right?
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I already explained it.
(Person involved)
His definitions so far are these:
Corai,
Kobold,
Bay12er.
I'm not adding Kobold to Corai, I'm adding Kobold and Corai to person.
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What, he has modifiers to his person? Bit his name isn't a modifier, it is his person. A name isn't really an adjective or other such descriptor. He just is his name.
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A name is a description, actually.
What does a name do?
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Grow new potatoes out of spatter.
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Identifier, sure. Descriptor, Hell-fuckin-naw. I could call my dog "Cat" but that don't make her feline.
If she was a cat, then yeah, she'd be feline.
A name does not describe something, though. My mother is the same, even after taking my father's name.
You're confusing "identify" and "describe."
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Grow new potatoes out of spatter.
You attempt to do this, and the spatter explodes. You are now but an ethereal mist, forever searching for a home.
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Go out of fridge. Flow down random person's throat. Absorb corpse after suffocation.
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Go out of fridge. Flow down random person's throat. Absorb corpse after suffocation.
+YES
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Go out of fridge. Flow down random person's throat. Absorb corpse after suffocation.
The man sitting at his breakfast table thought he heard something odd from the refrigerator, but brushed the thought aside as a noise from one of his cats. Not a second after this, a formless, off-white vapor tasting and smelling shockingly like potatoes invaded his lungs, killing him nearly instantly. What is left of him has now been converted into vegetable matter.
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IM SO GODDAMN CONFUSED. I DONT KNOW WHO I EVEN AM ANYMORE. ALL I KNOW IS, POTATO. YOU BASTARDS.
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You could call your dog Cat and it wouldn't be a cat, but Cat would still be one of its descriptions, as would dog.
So far, we've got:
Cat,
and dog
for your dog's descriptions.
But, to prove description-ness, you would answer these two questions similarly:
What is his name?
What is his eye color?
His name is Nathaniel.
His eye color is blue.
Blue is an adjective, is it not?
I'm not saying that a name isn't also an identifier, because blue is already an esablished adjective. But you can identify someone by their blue eyes, right?
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Form walking potato man out of corpse. Absorb anyone else in the house.
We have a successful derail.
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Be similar to cockroach man in MiB 1. Find sugar water to sustain self.
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STAB EVERYONE. CRY HYSTERICALLY. MASTURBATE OVER THE DEAD BODIES. CUT WRISTS. BURN HOUSE DOWN. REPEAT PROCESS IN NEXT HOUSE/THREAD.
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You attempt to walk, but your leg breaks off and you fall off the chair. Unfortunate.
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Yes, form potatoman.
Also: the problem here is that I am not a Homestuck fan. I just don't enjoy it. You're applying something I don't really understand or enjoy to mathematics.
But I know and love English, and a name is not a descriptor. It is an identifier, and is used when identifying a subject, but "a rose by any other name smells just as sweet." Sweet describes the flower, while rose does not.
Side note, as it almost caused a severe fucking tragedy. There are a few actual words spellcheck does not like, though it admits they are words. It corrects "rose" as "Ross" for some weird reason. It also refuses to let me type "were" in the context of the past participle of "was" in favor of "we're" no matter what.
Argh.
Fake edit because NinGM'd: become potatobaby and crawl.
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Form walking potato man out of corpse. Absorb anyone else in the house.
We have a successful derail.
Sigged and posting to watch this became amazing... so quickly...
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And now I'm bored. You're boring.
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And now I'm bored. You're boring.
You're so boring BP uses you to bore holes for oil wells.
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Boredom can be solved by caving other's skulls in.
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Boredom can be solved by caving other's skulls in.
No, that's sexual frustration
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Same thing.
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I... If you solve sexual frustration that way, you need to find yourself some outlets.
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what the fuck did i just read
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what the fuck did i just read
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And now I'm bored. You're boring.
You're so boring BP uses you to bore holes for oil wells.
The boring is super effective! The sea floor is having trouble breathing keeping hold of the oil.
The oil uses pressure! It is super effective!
The pipes use contain! It isn't very effective!
The oil has fled!
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Like forcing people to eat their eyes?
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Like staring into the sun for too long? Like starting a terrorist group?
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Uhh...
Reform leg. Continue with plan 'kill anything that moves and eat it'.
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Like derailing threads?
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Like carrying a joke on longer than it was funny?
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It was a joke? It was funny? Sweet.
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It was funny?
IT WAS NEITHER. THAT'S THE POINT.
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You attempt to reform your leg. Unfortunately, you explode. Less fortunately, the approximately 5 liters of water within you as well as several dozen kilograms of solid material vaporizing creates a blast that nearly levels the house, blowing out windows and walls and boiling a cat or two.
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Poor kitty! :c
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Good, split an atom within ourselves and end this tragedy. But do it in a way that celebrates the new year, speaking of which we need booze. I say we ferment ourselves into alcohol first.
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Become the alcohol?
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Absorb the house, or what it left of it.
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Get the title of the thread to change to reflect our current state.
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Get the title of the thread to change to reflect our current state.
We are a repeatedly self-mashing potato?
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Get the title of the thread to change to reflect our current state.
We are a repeatedly self-mashing potato?
I managed to turn us into the demon from Paranormal Activity, only a potato.
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So... We're pretty much just a regular potato.
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Regular potatoes don't boil kittens! >:c
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Are you completely sure?
I've known a few really mean taters.
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Are you completely sure?
I've known a few really mean taters.
We blew up a house, killing everything within!
So yes, regular potato.
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Well, hey. I never said all potatoes blow up houses.
I just said that they could if they only applied themselves.
Waste of talent, that.
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Indeed.
You are now an incorporeal potato.
Dafuq do you do now?
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EAT SELF.
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You attempt to eat yourself. However you have no mouth and no physical form, making this a very difficult task.
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Kill morrigi through cardiac arrest.
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IMPOSSIBRU!
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Find more potatoes to convert.
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WORSHIP MORRIGI.
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MUY POSSIBRU
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SUMMON MORRIGI TO MORTAL REALM.
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NON POSSIBRU
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I say we turn the tv onto a gardening channel. Potatos like porn too.
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what the fuck did i just read
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This Just in! You are now... A BAKED POTATO!
You can't see, and everything is hot. Very hot.
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Begin charging electricity
Am potato, can do that
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*charges electricity*
Having no way to store the power, you are now rapidly heating up.
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Continue charging. Prepare for Potato fusion.
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Charge as hard as you can, wait for POTATSPLOSION
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You continue to charge electricity. Wisps of steam rise from your skin, and you feel funny.
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Die inside. A little.
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Initiate atomic fusion.
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Initiate atomic fusion.
+1 Potato critical mass is imminent
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Initiate atomic fusion.
+1 Potato critical mass is imminent
+1
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Patato fuse to become a potatostar
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You misspelled "protostar."
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He spelled it perfectly right.
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Potatostar? No. We will convert ourselves to pure energy, then we'll become a kartoffel kugelblitz. It's like a regular kugelblitz, but made of pure potato energy.
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Generate a magnetic field and form a shell of molten metal around yourself.
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Split a Potatom. Be reincarnated as slightly larger potato. Repeat until world is gone/ you are the size of Godzilla.
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Become RBPWC. Rabid Baked Potato With Claws.