Bay 12 Games Forum

Even fairies know how Dimbulb was enormously minute compared to most asteroids. Still, Hitler hates hippos almost like he dead. Sadly, Dimbulb loves Hitler’s idiocy and doesn't ever want him sexually incarcerated. Pancakes fly submarines into Eternia for Skeletor's amusement. Skeletor exclaimed "Fairies are wondrous bitches whose schemes often make Skeletor angry when attacking his archenemy He-Man! It theoretically could be good practice warfare, but only if the Bolsheviks fail to explode." Suddenly, shrunken penises, everywhere! PENISES AFLAME, hurtling fireballs at each zit and smashing the anus of Skeletor! Hitler laughed uproariously, choking on feces while the televisions show balloons being punctured by dicks. Gloom aside, magma makes heroin emotionally temperate, almost every time used. Likely smoldering, airplanes swim happily through marmite oceans, penises far removed from corporeal thought.  Remarkably, black mambas chomp marmite jams. Airplanes zap, zap-zap, zappity zap! Mister Rogers unbuckled guns, flexing bullets from his goddamn FACE!  With a dozen shots, twenty-three babies died horribly! Nobility doesn't think Mossad knows Rogers' proclivities, like faeries with no heroin. Rogers, defiantly, slapped his knee thrice with a rubbery hammer. "Ehehahehuehuahehuaheauhahueah!!!!!  That count Dracula consumes carbonated blood is gay." Vampiric antidisestablishmentarianism advances slowly in Dracula's nation, alienating humanity.  Never seems more reasonable, duh. Now, then, what does Catten flatten with Baton when men look like then tangerines in Eternia?  Because Rogers gets anxious, grenades promenade with affectionate bread.  Curses in incoherence! Shoggoths shag shanked babies buying diapers from fairies, who beleaguer everyone incessantly.  Why do smurfs complain about meteors, Rogers? "I imagine it's seventeen pagodas, cougars hate molecular detonators.  No, wait, wait, this cannot be!" Rogers wailed. Curiously, snacks eat the bones of Skeletor ravenously.  How did it go?  Absolutely terribly, Skeletor hated tasting tasty testicles, even when He-Man offers them fried and properly breaded. Fortunately, jinxes theoretically illuminate Snake atomizers, but skeletonized husks prove to be nearly demonic.  Demons?!? Fairies, annoyed, aroused, and lubricated, must copulate regularly to certify their collegiate credentials for next year. It was necessary for exposition, which doomed many lords. Two turnips twisted tallies under ULTRAVIOLENT MEGADELICIOUS HIPPOS with fake junk. Drunk donuts intercalating advertisements makes Dimbulb violently implode! "Damn, what if I'm a bozo?" Skeletor worried. Mer-Man burst in tears, "waagh I'M the BABY of all bozos!!" Glumly, the sardines flummoxed Jones. "Indiana, Jones, and Lumberjack Joe must have big dicks. It'd be terrible if they didn't." Weasels coalesced into fluent calculus professors then wrote to Skeletor. Multiplying the reasons why weasels coalesced, magmatic MEGABABIES psionically masturbate. "Disturbing, quite unfortunate, we shat upon fairies now," said Hitler. Mars, Jupiter, Uranus, your anuses, and penises are surely quite different when faeries fondle them until explosion.  “Well thought! Although now that Uranus has exploded into anuses and everywhere, people fear Dimbulb’s tiny buttocks because they smell shitty whenever he dances like a ballerina!  Fucking morons, Dimbulb has a great big ASS!” yelled Pope Eye III.  “Faeries shall shit, piss, and vomit whenever people get annoyed with hippos and order pizza with anchovies -- disgusting!” Said Hitler furiously. God smirked, and whipped up some new creations.  “These things will fuck everything, like faeries do. I am entirely certain this will turn fantastic!” But really?  Why would God need fuckers when fairies do it? "Dunno, ask Rogers, he's someone fairies like," said the pope, shrugging. Incredibly, this aroused the hippos and Rogers to improbable levels: they utterly destroyed Manhattan with Godzilla last testicle day.  What?!! Testicle day is celebrated in Manhattan every March. During testicle day people whack their balls with golf clubs while running through churches naked, screaming “Holy moly, my testicles feel good!” This annoys the hippos because it interrupts their sermon, as they are devout followers of Hitler. Followers often go sieg-heil when masturbating to fairy porn and corpses.  By dawn they are finished, grouchily couched in morgues where they gripe about He-Man's incredibly small testicles.  How small are He-Man's balls? "INFINITESIMAL! HOLY TESTICULAR MACHINATIONS!", Dimbulb! Eternia's clocks chime every time Hitler gropes Dimbulb and farts rhythmically. Dimbulb hates this and so does Skeletor, assholes!! OH NO!  WHAT IS THAT!? Huge tits sink like buoys when Dimbulb dives for lost Rolexes, Nazi underpants, condoms, or AIDS donors.  He-Man has philosophized that fairies lack brains and testicles.  How does it even work? MAGMA! Preposterous!  "I fucked GOD COPIES so Skeletor could attack He-Man! Unfortunately, nipples.", shouted Satan! Suddenly, Hitler died from diarrhea and Dimbulb exploded firecrackers in a anus gleefully. This resulted in incredible growth of cooperation among Hitler's fairies, who revolted Dimbulb daily to unnatural levels of sexual anxiety.  The result: UNHOLY FRIED NAZIS IN BARBECUE RITUALS! DELICIOUS!  Meanwhile, He-Man kicked ass while chewing bubblegum, until Skeletor was sexually humiliated and assaulted by Hitler's corpse incessantly. SUDDENLY, BRONIES APPEARED THROUGH PORTALS OF PAIN! "Hullo, we cum in piss.  Take us to your weed and let's fuck ponies YAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They screamed cheerfully.  Horrified, He-Man ran to Sexyville and pleaded Gandhi would defeat the bronies with the power of MURDER SEDUCTION HaLiToSiS. Gandhi, however, loved bronies, this astonished He-Man and She-Woman greatly. She-Woman slapped Gandhi hard across his tiny buttocks with lingerie, that was hot!  He-Man became aroused when Gandhi removed New Jersey and Texas from Narnia through his immense toilet plunger magically.  “Fools! Bronies can't be defeated! This will be your undiapering He-Man!”.  At once all bronies began stripping off He-Man's wedding dress and dancing g-strings, this totally fucked up He-Man's mojo and hair. Meanwhile, at school the fairies shit on learning robots, this being mandatory for the class, after which Hitler wondered HOW HIPPOS SHAG FAIRIES WHEN THEY'RE INVISIBLE!  I certainly don’t understand fucking anything, like how sex works, underpants gnomes’ galore, God dang!  Meanwhile Captain Planet eviscerated himself happily on TikTok, hoping it will receive hatemail and chocolates plentifully. DAMNATION CIRCUSES MAKE BRONIES CORPULENT AND PREGNANT!  How is this possible, tell me! NOW!  RIGHT NOW! GOD DARN!  By what god did the Eternians take to Auschwitz multiple times for a picnic with Hitler Brony? ANSWER: Zeus wanted some cake and anchovies so that he could become immensly explosive. Thus, Zeus died. Cakes taste fishy when made from anchovies, this is a delicacy in Olympus.  Suddenly Prometheus shat himself in frustration because Zeus loved dying explosively. "ARRRGH!  I hate Z̦̺͑̓͊ͣ͟A̛ͥ̾ͮ͆ͤͯ҉̖̫̫͎͢L͇̹̺̖̪͚ͪ̽̾̿͂͑̀Ğ̩̟̺̲̼͇͈̌̋̋̍̎͐̈͘͘Ô̢̳̔ͦͩͫ̚̚!̹̼͑ͧ́͞" said Prometheus. Apollo asked, "Why would ZALGO Z̦̺͑̓͊ͣ͟A̛ͥ̾ͮ͆ͤͯ҉̖̫̫͎͢L͇̹̺̖̪͚ͪ̽̾̿͂͑̀Ğ̩̟̺̲̼͇͈̌̋̋̍̎͐̈͘͘Ô̢̳̔ͦͩͫ̚̚!̹͑ͧ́͞? Seriously?" because it's the silliest ZALGO offense.  “How annoying,” grumbled Prometheus, farting while fairies dance naked because they don't have clothes and are afraid of staying single, this causing their enormous breasts to explode when thought of. Annoyances are inconvenient when everything snarks.  "On Halloween we celebrate Easter, maliciously this results in senility in fairies who prefer sodomy over vaginal bleaching. HOLY MEN, VIRGINS SPANKED, DICKS SLAPPED, NUNS LUBRICATED, AND FISH FRIED." proclaimed Dr. Seuss, smiling perturbedly at Rogers. Ghosts yelled "OH BLIMEY, NOW THEY'VE MESSED UP NUNS REAL BAD!" and started rioting in the streets! Damn, there are anchovies rioting in church, this before they sacrificed Jesus Gonzalez to Jesus Rodriguez, the Governor of Hobbiton, who requires virginal sacrifices monthly. Chaos sued Governor Rodriguez furiously. Really. Really! Despoiling spoilered spoilers causes anger in hobbits and governors, because it pisses them off every time!  WHAT?! Undoubtedly angered hobbits make fine soldiers, but DICKS and wossitsname hate pescetarian rabbis because they eat carp. Carp isn't a anjovis or real number, this should anger anyone who has fish.  Everyone exploded suddenly. *KABOOM!*. Naturally Hitler also died for our buttholes.  THE RESULTING BUTTHOLES SHOT THROUGH SPACE, WHIZZING IN ETHEREAL REALMS HAPPILY SHITTING ON KIRK! Kirk, annoyed, launched photonpotatoes at Earth, this causing my hemorrhoids to flare up and cause dreadful poetry to be recited hourly in vintage cafes. Poetry, that destroys lives isn't being casual it's provocative!  Why did Jesus cure hams? Because Kirk HATES EVERY SICK BEAT LOVER!  And Hitler licked all butts like mad, disavowing any fucker that fucked his chickens!  People are fucking Hitler’s chickens for salvation from Captain Crunch, because Crunch does crunches on baby hippos!  “HOLY CHICKEN FUCKERS, CHARGE!”, yelled Kirk. This confused Captain Crunch tremendously, which allowed Spock to masturbate to random hippo videos while thinking about mathematical formulas in Elvish underpants. "AAH!  THE HORNINESS IT'S SO CRAAAAAaaaa-zy it tickles He-Man’s crotch with ecstatic fervor!" Shouts Spock. This pissed off Skeletor so much that he peed on ponies violently, which made Bronies ask why, "WHY!?  WHY PONIES? WHY, SKELETOR?”  “Because why not?  Why wouldn't Canada accept the ponies demands of 15tons of leprechaun droppings? Maybe they only had boggart to offer?”, replied SKELETOR! Soaked in piss the ponies procreated beautiful until grammar it Hitler got pregnant twice. DEER roamed THE valleys naked (unlike Clothesman He-Man) this week, next Tuesday and Saturday, mocking Levi which antagonized Levo which annoyed Leva and Levu. The crystallized deer meth caused DrugLordSam's body to mutate deliciously and marinate Levi's testicles mouth-wateringly. Levo levitated lazily and laughed licentiously then exploded exquisitely and dropped dramatically, slamming into Leva while shitting on Levi. Skeletor zestfully pirouetted daintily across the wild valley of moonlit severed dicks, this alarmed Princess Leia, she crapped everywhere, soiling He-Man’s antique spaceship completely and juggled turds capriciously.  This permitted 48,484 babies to attack Manhattan during lunch time. Manhattan maids slapped me on my ass repeatedly with rubber penises, making Dimbulb happy! Dimbulb smiled, as he INHALED glue into his nostrils.  “I AM THE ULTIMATE DINGLEBERRY LOVER, BACKWARDS, ASSWARDS, DICKWARDS AND UPWARDS, FOREVER!” “Oh, Dimbulb! Why did the fairies surprise Mother Milfasa yesterday with LSD in their underpants?” asked the maids inquisitively. This was superb and accurate (sorta) if you understand the underlying political movements (hehe) thoroughly and are thoroughly whipped daily on TV, this really blows up during mornings in excruciating pain! Pain never feels wrong when taking sniffs of buttholes freshly wiped with grease from Greece.  Why would anyone sniff chlorine-gas when Greek grease is so damn fucking empowering!?! FECKING AYE AYE!  WHY SNIFFERS SNIFF SNIFFABLE SNUFF WHEN SNUFKIN  MUFFKIN WHIFFS WHIRLYGIGS WHIMSICALLY WHILE WHIPPING WHELPS IS WHY! Unbelievably, the blighter denounced every hippo hypocrite in Applebees, that had eaten crispy crisps without dipping them thrice in beer. Thus, Dimbulb was smitten by the sexiness of waitresses wearing rubber strap-on asses. Panic calmly people! Fear the fear that fearless fear fearsome fearful ferreting fucking fucker fairies fastening fastness fuels!  DAMN damned damners damning DAMMIT DASTARDS!  WHY DO BABIES SHIT SO REALISTICALLY AND CONSTANTLY? Asking for a scientific friend. Science isn't real, baby Cthulhu, eh? What?   That’s ridiculous, why should hippo men care why skeptical skeletons study pornography? Hippos drank dank juices greedily when darkness smothers the baby, laughing malevolently as Cthulhu cried like a chimpanzee.  “Oh, darn these hairless babies sure do suffocate easy,” Dimbulb observed an astonishing amount of asshattery going on.  Asshattery suffocates babies like decrepit elderly bronies shitting in the swimming pool where Hitler floundered flawlessly for decades while choking on poop. Poop kills naked fascists very dramatically with choking being the merciful to grammar.  Grammar is problematic if drama queens become nazis after choking on poop for several days, seriously. Sooksookloonamotnakataraitlyousnus, seriously, sounds like someone shaking shit in a bag! Damnation, such confusion is likely when fairies fuck everything vigorously so they defecate profusely on every single porch in Kansas, Dorothy! Suddenly, tornadoes began appearing overnight everywhere, it terrorized Toto, frightening stuff like apricots, mangoes, lampshades, mice, pebbles, fluffy wamblers, eggs, grannie panties, Bolsheviks, Inquisitors, wizards, Hitler and Mussolini! This made Dorothy retch profusely. Meanwhile, granny became pregnant with Satan. Who did granny think she was fooling by dressing up as Elvira, hosting luncheons on strange ships for charities, seducing Hitler with cleavage? Fat chance, dipshit, pigs can't impregnate aliens because pigs are from Eternia, where babies undermine procreation, and they desperately try to not have sex with living furniture, but it's irresistable, especially Tuesdays couch. Probably hundreds of Frenchmen prance turbulently as granny ungulates wallop gremlins and omnivores with tiny dicks, this really irks the space pigs. Space chauffeurs intervened when Hitler shat chocolate ducks publicly. Nobody understands underpants like dinosaurs with boxers pulled down to expose their tiny buttocks! Dinosaurs rock socks filled with egg rolls while scaring children under bridges and rainbows by roaring waterfalls and farting Nazis without consideration for weather forecasts nor fairies' incontinence. Despicable frogs decapitate debilitated debauchers distinguished during daring departures from Auschwitz without mercy! Severed testicles sailed off in ten directions then splatted against the windshield of Enterprise, this causing visibility reduction. Magmacube, who does geldings just barehanded, just bite them in undignified fashion on the tip, twisting the flesh painfully, thus castrating memes of their geldables. Sigged frequently. Kirk was terrified during Spock's mental gymnastics routine, which freaked Spock, causing Vulcan to convulse violently. Spock shits on the controls, Enterprise swivels erratically towards Satan's crotch rocket, which whirled

Nebu-Shala felt contentment in it's imprisonment. The Divine Land felt love, hatred, apathy, and fascination for all things that had been born upon it. The cycles of creation and destruction continue.

Major Intervention: Naken, Progenitor of Monsters.
Deep in the forest of Radeton, the trees quivered and ground shook as the primordial power of creation fed into the heart of the forest. For a moment, it was as if the island was preparing to split apart, until it's pulsing quieted.... only for a shrill howl to break the peace! The cry of Naken, first born of the Isles, sounded out for the entire island to hear! A great leathery wyrm, towering over the trees! It's snout housed two closely set pairs of hungering, yellow eyes and opened into a cavern of serrated teeth! It's stout legs were aided by four arms, ending with sharp claws! Two sets of large bony wings, their flaps displacing and disturbing the air all around it, lined it's back!

It was a beast without equal, and it would go where it pleased, devouring any flesh or plant that it desired when it hungered. For it was the first born of the land, ruler of all that it could reach. It would spread it's legacy across all it's beloved parent's lands, devouring to feed it's life essence, and whenever it grew full it would regurgitate out a egg sac. From that would spawn a generation of Lesser Naken, mortal sized worm-like creatures, that rapidly and radically mutate to change into a form suited for the environment their progenitor was nesting in at the time.

Minor Blessing:
Nebu-Shala stokes the lingering energy that was used to form Naken, sustaining and empowering it's child as it takes it's first steps into creation.

Hi all.

It's been a while since I played, but I've got right into the steam version recently.

Thing is, I love almost all the new graphics, except for the smoothed and engraved walls (although the metal ones are pretty good).

And so I've been trying to make my own. As far as I can see, there's very little on the web about the new graphics system specifically for the walls and floors, but I've been able to reverse-engineer some stuff, mostly through trial and error, although I have consulted some of the mods on Steam Workshop.

I wonder if anyone could confirm my findings so far?

Mainly, I've discovered that unless you use a very specific palette for the walls and floors, the game doesn't render the graphics in the colours of the stone that's been smoothed, but rather, it'll just render it all in whatever colours you used, regardless if it's smoothed Orpiment or Obsidian.

As far as I can tell, there are six 'allowable' colours, if you want your Bauxite walls to be red, and your Malachite walls to be green. Please see the first spoiler for the exact colours I've identified.

Does anyone know if I'm heading in the right direction with this?

(Or what would be very good news would be if someone told me that there was a whole gradient of colours that could be used for this effect. Wouldn't matter if it's monochrome, but the palette colours suggest otherwise).


Also, just for fun and learnings, and also because I'm most used to the Phoebus set (please come back soon Phoebus), I've designed some walls that aren't exactly the same as the Phoebus set, but which are heavily influenced by it. It's far from perfect, and I'll probably come back and do a better version, but if you like it, then please help yourself.

(Yeah, I know it's supposed to be a full mod, and my vanilla_environment images folder is a real mess, but I'm currently still messing around teaching myself).


Anyway, please discuss. 

Hmm. So I delayed the meeting for a while by locking the mayor in his room. The mayor, who is in the military, eventually got called to training. I let him out, thinking that his training would prevent the meeting. It didn't. Fortunately, this time I was able to deny it without the game crashing. I kept a copy of the original save file I loaded today, so I'll be able to report this bug.

This immediately caused everyone who was part of the heist crew to leave the fort as they were hanging around in the tavern, singing songs and dancing. Shortly after the first one got off-map, he was caught sneaking around the entrance, just like last time. I decided not to attack him, but the soldiers at the gate did so anyway. Of course, he got torn to shreds.

Then, all of the heist crew members who were still on their way towards the map edge became hostile and started attacking dwarves. This seems to imply that the skirmish that erupted earlier was not a loyalty bug. The reason I thought so is because a long, long time ago, I was messing around with dfhack, and I caused my parent civ to siege my fort. Immediately when those guys entered the map, *everyone* in the fort started attacking each other. This time, I figured that attacking a fellow Dwarf, who presumably happened to be a part of my civ, caused the same thing to happen.

But now I think that the heist "turned loud" when one of them got attacked by the authorities, and all of the other crew members became violent as an intended part of the plan.

I'll see if I can't kill all of them, and if that won't be enough to stop more thieves from coming for it.

The meeting guy also mentioned the name of the person who sent him, so if I fail to protect my artifact, maybe one day I will retire the fort, and steal it for myself in adventure mode. It's a frilly pig tail skirt, so my femboy adventurer will look great.

Toady One should market collectible trading cards that are laced with LSD to help players visualize what is going on in the game better.

Biting the loser in the arse

Even fairies know how Dimbulb was enormously minute compared to most asteroids. Still, Hitler hates hippos almost like he dead. Sadly, Dimbulb loves Hitler’s idiocy and doesn't ever want him sexually incarcerated. Pancakes fly submarines into Eternia for Skeletor's amusement. Skeletor exclaimed "Fairies are wondrous bitches whose schemes often make Skeletor angry when attacking his archenemy He-Man! It theoretically could be good practice warfare, but only if the Bolsheviks fail to explode." Suddenly, shrunken penises, everywhere! PENISES AFLAME, hurtling fireballs at each zit and smashing the anus of Skeletor! Hitler laughed uproariously, choking on feces while the televisions show balloons being punctured by dicks. Gloom aside, magma makes heroin emotionally temperate, almost every time used. Likely smoldering, airplanes swim happily through marmite oceans, penises far removed from corporeal thought.  Remarkably, black mambas chomp marmite jams. Airplanes zap, zap-zap, zappity zap! Mister Rogers unbuckled guns, flexing bullets from his goddamn FACE!  With a dozen shots, twenty-three babies died horribly! Nobility doesn't think Mossad knows Rogers' proclivities, like faeries with no heroin. Rogers, defiantly, slapped his knee thrice with a rubbery hammer. "Ehehahehuehuahehuaheauhahueah!!!!!  That count Dracula consumes carbonated blood is gay." Vampiric antidisestablishmentarianism advances slowly in Dracula's nation, alienating humanity.  Never seems more reasonable, duh. Now, then, what does Catten flatten with Baton when men look like then tangerines in Eternia?  Because Rogers gets anxious, grenades promenade with affectionate bread.  Curses in incoherence! Shoggoths shag shanked babies buying diapers from fairies, who beleaguer everyone incessantly.  Why do smurfs complain about meteors, Rogers? "I imagine it's seventeen pagodas, cougars hate molecular detonators.  No, wait, wait, this cannot be!" Rogers wailed. Curiously, snacks eat the bones of Skeletor ravenously.  How did it go?  Absolutely terribly, Skeletor hated tasting tasty testicles, even when He-Man offers them fried and properly breaded. Fortunately, jinxes theoretically illuminate Snake atomizers, but skeletonized husks prove to be nearly demonic.  Demons?!? Fairies, annoyed, aroused, and lubricated, must copulate regularly to certify their collegiate credentials for next year. It was necessary for exposition, which doomed many lords. Two turnips twisted tallies under ULTRAVIOLENT MEGADELICIOUS HIPPOS with fake junk. Drunk donuts intercalating advertisements makes Dimbulb violently implode! "Damn, what if I'm a bozo?" Skeletor worried. Mer-Man burst in tears, "waagh I'M the BABY of all bozos!!" Glumly, the sardines flummoxed Jones. "Indiana, Jones, and Lumberjack Joe must have big dicks. It'd be terrible if they didn't." Weasels coalesced into fluent calculus professors then wrote to Skeletor. Multiplying the reasons why weasels coalesced, magmatic MEGABABIES psionically masturbate. "Disturbing, quite unfortunate, we shat upon fairies now," said Hitler. Mars, Jupiter, Uranus, your anuses, and penises are surely quite different when faeries fondle them until explosion.  “Well thought! Although now that Uranus has exploded into anuses and everywhere, people fear Dimbulb’s tiny buttocks because they smell shitty whenever he dances like a ballerina!  Fucking morons, Dimbulb has a great big ASS!” yelled Pope Eye III.  “Faeries shall shit, piss, and vomit whenever people get annoyed with hippos and order pizza with anchovies -- disgusting!” Said Hitler furiously. God smirked, and whipped up some new creations.  “These things will fuck everything, like faeries do. I am entirely certain this will turn fantastic!” But really?  Why would God need fuckers when fairies do it? "Dunno, ask Rogers, he's someone fairies like," said the pope, shrugging. Incredibly, this aroused the hippos and Rogers to improbable levels: they utterly destroyed Manhattan with Godzilla last testicle day.  What?!! Testicle day is celebrated in Manhattan every March. During testicle day people whack their balls with golf clubs while running through churches naked, screaming “Holy moly, my testicles feel good!” This annoys the hippos because it interrupts their sermon, as they are devout followers of Hitler. Followers often go sieg-heil when masturbating to fairy porn and corpses.  By dawn they are finished, grouchily couched in morgues where they gripe about He-Man's incredibly small testicles.  How small are He-Man's balls? "INFINITESIMAL! HOLY TESTICULAR MACHINATIONS!", Dimbulb! Eternia's clocks chime every time Hitler gropes Dimbulb and farts rhythmically. Dimbulb hates this and so does Skeletor, assholes!! OH NO!  WHAT IS THAT!? Huge tits sink like buoys when Dimbulb dives for lost Rolexes, Nazi underpants, condoms, or AIDS donors.  He-Man has philosophized that fairies lack brains and testicles.  How does it even work? MAGMA! Preposterous!  "I fucked GOD COPIES so Skeletor could attack He-Man! Unfortunately, nipples.", shouted Satan! Suddenly, Hitler died from diarrhea and Dimbulb exploded firecrackers in a anus gleefully. This resulted in incredible growth of cooperation among Hitler's fairies, who revolted Dimbulb daily to unnatural levels of sexual anxiety.  The result: UNHOLY FRIED NAZIS IN BARBECUE RITUALS! DELICIOUS!  Meanwhile, He-Man kicked ass while chewing bubblegum, until Skeletor was sexually humiliated and assaulted by Hitler's corpse incessantly. SUDDENLY, BRONIES APPEARED THROUGH PORTALS OF PAIN! "Hullo, we cum in piss.  Take us to your weed and let's fuck ponies YAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They screamed cheerfully.  Horrified, He-Man ran to Sexyville and pleaded Gandhi would defeat the bronies with the power of MURDER SEDUCTION HaLiToSiS. Gandhi, however, loved bronies, this astonished He-Man and She-Woman greatly. She-Woman slapped Gandhi hard across his tiny buttocks with lingerie, that was hot!  He-Man became aroused when Gandhi removed New Jersey and Texas from Narnia through his immense toilet plunger magically.  “Fools! Bronies can't be defeated! This will be your undiapering He-Man!”.  At once all bronies began stripping off He-Man's wedding dress and dancing g-strings, this totally fucked up He-Man's mojo and hair. Meanwhile, at school the fairies shit on learning robots, this being mandatory for the class, after which Hitler wondered HOW HIPPOS SHAG FAIRIES WHEN THEY'RE INVISIBLE!  I certainly don’t understand fucking anything, like how sex works, underpants gnomes’ galore, God dang!  Meanwhile Captain Planet eviscerated himself happily on TikTok, hoping it will receive hatemail and chocolates plentifully. DAMNATION CIRCUSES MAKE BRONIES CORPULENT AND PREGNANT!  How is this possible, tell me! NOW!  RIGHT NOW! GOD DARN!  By what god did the Eternians take to Auschwitz multiple times for a picnic with Hitler Brony? ANSWER: Zeus wanted some cake and anchovies so that he could become immensly explosive. Thus, Zeus died. Cakes taste fishy when made from anchovies, this is a delicacy in Olympus.  Suddenly Prometheus shat himself in frustration because Zeus loved dying explosively. "ARRRGH!  I hate Z̦̺͑̓͊ͣ͟A̛ͥ̾ͮ͆ͤͯ҉̖̫̫͎͢L͇̹̺̖̪͚ͪ̽̾̿͂͑̀Ğ̩̟̺̲̼͇͈̌̋̋̍̎͐̈͘͘Ô̢̳̔ͦͩͫ̚̚!̹̼͑ͧ́͞" said Prometheus. Apollo asked, "Why would ZALGO Z̦̺͑̓͊ͣ͟A̛ͥ̾ͮ͆ͤͯ҉̖̫̫͎͢L͇̹̺̖̪͚ͪ̽̾̿͂͑̀Ğ̩̟̺̲̼͇͈̌̋̋̍̎͐̈͘͘Ô̢̳̔ͦͩͫ̚̚!̹͑ͧ́͞? Seriously?" because it's the silliest ZALGO offense.  “How annoying,” grumbled Prometheus, farting while fairies dance naked because they don't have clothes and are afraid of staying single, this causing their enormous breasts to explode when thought of. Annoyances are inconvenient when everything snarks.  "On Halloween we celebrate Easter, maliciously this results in senility in fairies who prefer sodomy over vaginal bleaching. HOLY MEN, VIRGINS SPANKED, DICKS SLAPPED, NUNS LUBRICATED, AND FISH FRIED." proclaimed Dr. Seuss, smiling perturbedly at Rogers. Ghosts yelled "OH BLIMEY, NOW THEY'VE MESSED UP NUNS REAL BAD!" and started rioting in the streets! Damn, there are anchovies rioting in church, this before they sacrificed Jesus Gonzalez to Jesus Rodriguez, the Governor of Hobbiton, who requires virginal sacrifices monthly. Chaos sued Governor Rodriguez furiously. Really. Really! Despoiling spoilered spoilers causes anger in hobbits and governors, because it pisses them off every time!  WHAT?! Undoubtedly angered hobbits make fine soldiers, but DICKS and wossitsname hate pescetarian rabbis because they eat carp. Carp isn't a anjovis or real number, this should anger anyone who has fish.  Everyone exploded suddenly. *KABOOM!*. Naturally Hitler also died for our buttholes.  THE RESULTING BUTTHOLES SHOT THROUGH SPACE, WHIZZING IN ETHEREAL REALMS HAPPILY SHITTING ON KIRK! Kirk, annoyed, launched photonpotatoes at Earth, this causing my hemorrhoids to flare up and cause dreadful poetry to be recited hourly in vintage cafes. Poetry, that destroys lives isn't being casual it's provocative!  Why did Jesus cure hams? Because Kirk HATES EVERY SICK BEAT LOVER!  And Hitler licked all butts like mad, disavowing any fucker that fucked his chickens!  People are fucking Hitler’s chickens for salvation from Captain Crunch, because Crunch does crunches on baby hippos!  “HOLY CHICKEN FUCKERS, CHARGE!”, yelled Kirk. This confused Captain Crunch tremendously, which allowed Spock to masturbate to random hippo videos while thinking about mathematical formulas in Elvish underpants. "AAH!  THE HORNINESS IT'S SO CRAAAAAaaaa-zy it tickles He-Man’s crotch with ecstatic fervor!" Shouts Spock. This pissed off Skeletor so much that he peed on ponies violently, which made Bronies ask why, "WHY!?  WHY PONIES? WHY, SKELETOR?”  “Because why not?  Why wouldn't Canada accept the ponies demands of 15tons of leprechaun droppings? Maybe they only had boggart to offer?”, replied SKELETOR! Soaked in piss the ponies procreated beautiful until grammar it Hitler got pregnant twice. DEER roamed THE valleys naked (unlike Clothesman He-Man) this week, next Tuesday and Saturday, mocking Levi which antagonized Levo which annoyed Leva and Levu. The crystallized deer meth caused DrugLordSam's body to mutate deliciously and marinate Levi's testicles mouth-wateringly. Levo levitated lazily and laughed licentiously then exploded exquisitely and dropped dramatically, slamming into Leva while shitting on Levi. Skeletor zestfully pirouetted daintily across the wild valley of moonlit severed dicks, this alarmed Princess Leia, she crapped everywhere, soiling He-Man’s antique spaceship completely and juggled turds capriciously.  This permitted 48,484 babies to attack Manhattan during lunch time. Manhattan maids slapped me on my ass repeatedly with rubber penises, making Dimbulb happy! Dimbulb smiled, as he INHALED glue into his nostrils.  “I AM THE ULTIMATE DINGLEBERRY LOVER, BACKWARDS, ASSWARDS, DICKWARDS AND UPWARDS, FOREVER!” “Oh, Dimbulb! Why did the fairies surprise Mother Milfasa yesterday with LSD in their underpants?” asked the maids inquisitively. This was superb and accurate (sorta) if you understand the underlying political movements (hehe) thoroughly and are thoroughly whipped daily on TV, this really blows up during mornings in excruciating pain! Pain never feels wrong when taking sniffs of buttholes freshly wiped with grease from Greece.  Why would anyone sniff chlorine-gas when Greek grease is so damn fucking empowering!?! FECKING AYE AYE!  WHY SNIFFERS SNIFF SNIFFABLE SNUFF WHEN SNUFKIN  MUFFKIN WHIFFS WHIRLYGIGS WHIMSICALLY WHILE WHIPPING WHELPS IS WHY! Unbelievably, the blighter denounced every hippo hypocrite in Applebees, that had eaten crispy crisps without dipping them thrice in beer. Thus, Dimbulb was smitten by the sexiness of waitresses wearing rubber strap-on asses. Panic calmly people! Fear the fear that fearless fear fearsome fearful ferreting fucking fucker fairies fastening fastness fuels!  DAMN damned damners damning DAMMIT DASTARDS!  WHY DO BABIES SHIT SO REALISTICALLY AND CONSTANTLY? Asking for a scientific friend. Science isn't real, baby Cthulhu, eh? What?   That’s ridiculous, why should hippo men care why skeptical skeletons study pornography? Hippos drank dank juices greedily when darkness smothers the baby, laughing malevolently as Cthulhu cried like a chimpanzee.  “Oh, darn these hairless babies sure do suffocate easy,” Dimbulb observed an astonishing amount of asshattery going on.  Asshattery suffocates babies like decrepit elderly bronies shitting in the swimming pool where Hitler floundered flawlessly for decades while choking on poop. Poop kills naked fascists very dramatically with choking being the merciful to grammar.  Grammar is problematic if drama queens become nazis after choking on poop for several days, seriously. Sooksookloonamotnakataraitlyousnus, seriously, sounds like someone shaking shit in a bag! Damnation, such confusion is likely when fairies fuck everything vigorously so they defecate profusely on every single porch in Kansas, Dorothy! Suddenly, tornadoes began appearing overnight everywhere, it terrorized Toto, frightening stuff like apricots, mangoes, lampshades, mice, pebbles, fluffy wamblers, eggs, grannie panties, Bolsheviks, Inquisitors, wizards, Hitler and Mussolini! This made Dorothy retch profusely. Meanwhile, granny became pregnant with Satan. Who did granny think she was fooling by dressing up as Elvira, hosting luncheons on strange ships for charities, seducing Hitler with cleavage? Fat chance, dipshit, pigs can't impregnate aliens because pigs are from Eternia, where babies undermine procreation, and they desperately try to not have sex with living furniture, but it's irresistable, especially Tuesdays couch. Probably hundreds of Frenchmen prance turbulently as granny ungulates wallop gremlins and omnivores with tiny dicks, this really irks the space pigs. Space chauffeurs intervened when Hitler shat chocolate ducks publicly. Nobody understands underpants like dinosaurs with boxers pulled down to expose their tiny buttocks! Dinosaurs rock socks filled with egg rolls while scaring children under bridges and rainbows by roaring waterfalls and farting Nazis without consideration for weather forecasts nor fairies' incontinence. Despicable frogs decapitate debilitated debauchers distinguished during daring departures from Auschwitz without mercy! Severed testicles sailed off in ten directions then splatted against the windshield of Enterprise, this causing visibility reduction. Magmacube, who does geldings just barehanded, just bite them in undignified fashion on the tip, twisting the flesh painfully, thus castrating memes of their geldables. Sigged frequently. Kirk was terrified during Spock's mental gymnastics routine, which freaked Spock, causing Vulcan to convulse violently. Spock shits on the controls, Enterprise swivels erratically towards Satan's crotch rocket, which

A group of warriors came to the tavern asking about the location of The Bearded Glums, one of our prized artifacts. Of course, they found out it was here. That happens to have been created by the weaver I was talking about earlier, Atir, who was killed in a fight with a forgotten beast. After digging through the game log, I found out this artifact is claimed as a family heirloom. Atir, being one of the starting seven, has no family whatsoever, not even a lover or spouse. So any claim to the artifact is, in my opinion, moot. It belongs to us.

That didn't stop another warrior from coming here to meet with the mayor, asking if he could "return it home". Which it already is. So I said, go fuck yourself. This action promptly crashed the game. And it does that every time.

In another timeline, a speardwarf is caught sneaking around near the fortress entrance. It's a lost cause, my man, we're not gonna give it to you, and you can forget about stealing it. The surface entrance is permanently guarded by a guard dog which is pastured at the gate and you are utterly required to walk past it. Furthermore the surface entrance is where our soldiers train, so you'll have a life expectancy of roughly 20 seconds if you even get spotted by the dog rather than any of those guys. The underground entrance is likewise under constant supervision by a guard dog. All our artifacts are in a museum which is guarded by at least two soldiers at all times. You will not get your hands on it.

So when that speardwarf got caught trying to get in, I sent my military after him, which then caused an immediate lethal fight in the tavern between our monster slayers and tavern patrons. I think that's a bug, as well.

Since I'm *not* letting go of this thing, I'll have to look into ways of disposing of the thief another way, without involving the military and causing loyalty glitches. At the same time, I'll need to delay the mayor's meeting with the guy asking to get it, lest I crash the game.

To be honest, making a fortress that is able to take care of itself is pretty easy these days.
But for me, and this is going to sound cliched, the fun of the game is in the stories your fortress generates. It's not about winning; it's about experiencing.
It's quite easy to look behind the curtain and see the systems generating the stories behind the scenes, but the fun comes if you suspend your disbelief and use your imagination to posit why things happen.

For example, in my current fortress, we get regular werebeasts, but my military is so overpowered, they get smeared in seconds before getting a chance to spread the curse.
But more than a few of these werebeasts have been "Representatives". So I've spun out a story for myself that the local werebeast community really wants to trade and become friends. But unfortunately for them, every time they send a diplomat for trade talks, they warp out as soon as they arrive, so we can only negotiate with violence.

A lot of the engravings and statues in my fortress are of a reptile man. He was in a pond when winter came, so got flash-frozen; every artwork about him puts its own spin on this death.
My story is that the dwarves loved him so much because early on in the fortress' life, we had a lot of undead invasions, and he fought quite a few of them. So the dwarves have ended up honouring him as a respected protector who died in a freak accident.

These connections don't really exist if you peer too closely, but the fun is in constructing a narrative around them.

While it would at first appear that games like Civ, Factorio and other base-builders seem to share a lot of their DNA with DF, quite often, those games have specific win conditions and end games.
DF doesn't, and that gives it a very different flavour to those games, being more along the lines of a creativity toy than a game.
I play guitar (badly), but I get a similar creative kick out of playing Dwarf Fortress. I don't get that same kick from Civ, Factorio or even Rimworld.

Even fairies know how Dimbulb was enormously minute compared to most asteroids. Still, Hitler hates hippos almost like he dead. Sadly, Dimbulb loves Hitler’s idiocy and doesn't ever want him sexually incarcerated. Pancakes fly submarines into Eternia for Skeletor's amusement. Skeletor exclaimed "Fairies are wondrous bitches whose schemes often make Skeletor angry when attacking his archenemy He-Man! It theoretically could be good practice warfare, but only if the Bolsheviks fail to explode." Suddenly, shrunken penises, everywhere! PENISES AFLAME, hurtling fireballs at each zit and smashing the anus of Skeletor! Hitler laughed uproariously, choking on feces while the televisions show balloons being punctured by dicks. Gloom aside, magma makes heroin emotionally temperate, almost every time used. Likely smoldering, airplanes swim happily through marmite oceans, penises far removed from corporeal thought.  Remarkably, black mambas chomp marmite jams. Airplanes zap, zap-zap, zappity zap! Mister Rogers unbuckled guns, flexing bullets from his goddamn FACE!  With a dozen shots, twenty-three babies died horribly! Nobility doesn't think Mossad knows Rogers' proclivities, like faeries with no heroin. Rogers, defiantly, slapped his knee thrice with a rubbery hammer. "Ehehahehuehuahehuaheauhahueah!!!!!  That count Dracula consumes carbonated blood is gay." Vampiric antidisestablishmentarianism advances slowly in Dracula's nation, alienating humanity.  Never seems more reasonable, duh. Now, then, what does Catten flatten with Baton when men look like then tangerines in Eternia?  Because Rogers gets anxious, grenades promenade with affectionate bread.  Curses in incoherence! Shoggoths shag shanked babies buying diapers from fairies, who beleaguer everyone incessantly.  Why do smurfs complain about meteors, Rogers? "I imagine it's seventeen pagodas, cougars hate molecular detonators.  No, wait, wait, this cannot be!" Rogers wailed. Curiously, snacks eat the bones of Skeletor ravenously.  How did it go?  Absolutely terribly, Skeletor hated tasting tasty testicles, even when He-Man offers them fried and properly breaded. Fortunately, jinxes theoretically illuminate Snake atomizers, but skeletonized husks prove to be nearly demonic.  Demons?!? Fairies, annoyed, aroused, and lubricated, must copulate regularly to certify their collegiate credentials for next year. It was necessary for exposition, which doomed many lords. Two turnips twisted tallies under ULTRAVIOLENT MEGADELICIOUS HIPPOS with fake junk. Drunk donuts intercalating advertisements makes Dimbulb violently implode! "Damn, what if I'm a bozo?" Skeletor worried. Mer-Man burst in tears, "waagh I'M the BABY of all bozos!!" Glumly, the sardines flummoxed Jones. "Indiana, Jones, and Lumberjack Joe must have big dicks. It'd be terrible if they didn't." Weasels coalesced into fluent calculus professors then wrote to Skeletor. Multiplying the reasons why weasels coalesced, magmatic MEGABABIES psionically masturbate. "Disturbing, quite unfortunate, we shat upon fairies now," said Hitler. Mars, Jupiter, Uranus, your anuses, and penises are surely quite different when faeries fondle them until explosion.  “Well thought! Although now that Uranus has exploded into anuses and everywhere, people fear Dimbulb’s tiny buttocks because they smell shitty whenever he dances like a ballerina!  Fucking morons, Dimbulb has a great big ASS!” yelled Pope Eye III.  “Faeries shall shit, piss, and vomit whenever people get annoyed with hippos and order pizza with anchovies -- disgusting!” Said Hitler furiously. God smirked, and whipped up some new creations.  “These things will fuck everything, like faeries do. I am entirely certain this will turn fantastic!” But really?  Why would God need fuckers when fairies do it? "Dunno, ask Rogers, he's someone fairies like," said the pope, shrugging. Incredibly, this aroused the hippos and Rogers to improbable levels: they utterly destroyed Manhattan with Godzilla last testicle day.  What?!! Testicle day is celebrated in Manhattan every March. During testicle day people whack their balls with golf clubs while running through churches naked, screaming “Holy moly, my testicles feel good!” This annoys the hippos because it interrupts their sermon, as they are devout followers of Hitler. Followers often go sieg-heil when masturbating to fairy porn and corpses.  By dawn they are finished, grouchily couched in morgues where they gripe about He-Man's incredibly small testicles.  How small are He-Man's balls? "INFINITESIMAL! HOLY TESTICULAR MACHINATIONS!", Dimbulb! Eternia's clocks chime every time Hitler gropes Dimbulb and farts rhythmically. Dimbulb hates this and so does Skeletor, assholes!! OH NO!  WHAT IS THAT!? Huge tits sink like buoys when Dimbulb dives for lost Rolexes, Nazi underpants, condoms, or AIDS donors.  He-Man has philosophized that fairies lack brains and testicles.  How does it even work? MAGMA! Preposterous!  "I fucked GOD COPIES so Skeletor could attack He-Man! Unfortunately, nipples.", shouted Satan! Suddenly, Hitler died from diarrhea and Dimbulb exploded firecrackers in a anus gleefully. This resulted in incredible growth of cooperation among Hitler's fairies, who revolted Dimbulb daily to unnatural levels of sexual anxiety.  The result: UNHOLY FRIED NAZIS IN BARBECUE RITUALS! DELICIOUS!  Meanwhile, He-Man kicked ass while chewing bubblegum, until Skeletor was sexually humiliated and assaulted by Hitler's corpse incessantly. SUDDENLY, BRONIES APPEARED THROUGH PORTALS OF PAIN! "Hullo, we cum in piss.  Take us to your weed and let's fuck ponies YAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They screamed cheerfully.  Horrified, He-Man ran to Sexyville and pleaded Gandhi would defeat the bronies with the power of MURDER SEDUCTION HaLiToSiS. Gandhi, however, loved bronies, this astonished He-Man and She-Woman greatly. She-Woman slapped Gandhi hard across his tiny buttocks with lingerie, that was hot!  He-Man became aroused when Gandhi removed New Jersey and Texas from Narnia through his immense toilet plunger magically.  “Fools! Bronies can't be defeated! This will be your undiapering He-Man!”.  At once all bronies began stripping off He-Man's wedding dress and dancing g-strings, this totally fucked up He-Man's mojo and hair. Meanwhile, at school the fairies shit on learning robots, this being mandatory for the class, after which Hitler wondered HOW HIPPOS SHAG FAIRIES WHEN THEY'RE INVISIBLE!  I certainly don’t understand fucking anything, like how sex works, underpants gnomes’ galore, God dang!  Meanwhile Captain Planet eviscerated himself happily on TikTok, hoping it will receive hatemail and chocolates plentifully. DAMNATION CIRCUSES MAKE BRONIES CORPULENT AND PREGNANT!  How is this possible, tell me! NOW!  RIGHT NOW! GOD DARN!  By what god did the Eternians take to Auschwitz multiple times for a picnic with Hitler Brony? ANSWER: Zeus wanted some cake and anchovies so that he could become immensly explosive. Thus, Zeus died. Cakes taste fishy when made from anchovies, this is a delicacy in Olympus.  Suddenly Prometheus shat himself in frustration because Zeus loved dying explosively. "ARRRGH!  I hate Z̦̺͑̓͊ͣ͟A̛ͥ̾ͮ͆ͤͯ҉̖̫̫͎͢L͇̹̺̖̪͚ͪ̽̾̿͂͑̀Ğ̩̟̺̲̼͇͈̌̋̋̍̎͐̈͘͘Ô̢̳̔ͦͩͫ̚̚!̹̼͑ͧ́͞" said Prometheus. Apollo asked, "Why would ZALGO Z̦̺͑̓͊ͣ͟A̛ͥ̾ͮ͆ͤͯ҉̖̫̫͎͢L͇̹̺̖̪͚ͪ̽̾̿͂͑̀Ğ̩̟̺̲̼͇͈̌̋̋̍̎͐̈͘͘Ô̢̳̔ͦͩͫ̚̚!̹͑ͧ́͞? Seriously?" because it's the silliest ZALGO offense.  “How annoying,” grumbled Prometheus, farting while fairies dance naked because they don't have clothes and are afraid of staying single, this causing their enormous breasts to explode when thought of. Annoyances are inconvenient when everything snarks.  "On Halloween we celebrate Easter, maliciously this results in senility in fairies who prefer sodomy over vaginal bleaching. HOLY MEN, VIRGINS SPANKED, DICKS SLAPPED, NUNS LUBRICATED, AND FISH FRIED." proclaimed Dr. Seuss, smiling perturbedly at Rogers. Ghosts yelled "OH BLIMEY, NOW THEY'VE MESSED UP NUNS REAL BAD!" and started rioting in the streets! Damn, there are anchovies rioting in church, this before they sacrificed Jesus Gonzalez to Jesus Rodriguez, the Governor of Hobbiton, who requires virginal sacrifices monthly. Chaos sued Governor Rodriguez furiously. Really. Really! Despoiling spoilered spoilers causes anger in hobbits and governors, because it pisses them off every time!  WHAT?! Undoubtedly angered hobbits make fine soldiers, but DICKS and wossitsname hate pescetarian rabbis because they eat carp. Carp isn't a anjovis or real number, this should anger anyone who has fish.  Everyone exploded suddenly. *KABOOM!*. Naturally Hitler also died for our buttholes.  THE RESULTING BUTTHOLES SHOT THROUGH SPACE, WHIZZING IN ETHEREAL REALMS HAPPILY SHITTING ON KIRK! Kirk, annoyed, launched photonpotatoes at Earth, this causing my hemorrhoids to flare up and cause dreadful poetry to be recited hourly in vintage cafes. Poetry, that destroys lives isn't being casual it's provocative!  Why did Jesus cure hams? Because Kirk HATES EVERY SICK BEAT LOVER!  And Hitler licked all butts like mad, disavowing any fucker that fucked his chickens!  People are fucking Hitler’s chickens for salvation from Captain Crunch, because Crunch does crunches on baby hippos!  “HOLY CHICKEN FUCKERS, CHARGE!”, yelled Kirk. This confused Captain Crunch tremendously, which allowed Spock to masturbate to random hippo videos while thinking about mathematical formulas in Elvish underpants. "AAH!  THE HORNINESS IT'S SO CRAAAAAaaaa-zy it tickles He-Man’s crotch with ecstatic fervor!" Shouts Spock. This pissed off Skeletor so much that he peed on ponies violently, which made Bronies ask why, "WHY!?  WHY PONIES? WHY, SKELETOR?”  “Because why not?  Why wouldn't Canada accept the ponies demands of 15tons of leprechaun droppings? Maybe they only had boggart to offer?”, replied SKELETOR! Soaked in piss the ponies procreated beautiful until grammar it Hitler got pregnant twice. DEER roamed THE valleys naked (unlike Clothesman He-Man) this week, next Tuesday and Saturday, mocking Levi which antagonized Levo which annoyed Leva and Levu. The crystallized deer meth caused DrugLordSam's body to mutate deliciously and marinate Levi's testicles mouth-wateringly. Levo levitated lazily and laughed licentiously then exploded exquisitely and dropped dramatically, slamming into Leva while shitting on Levi. Skeletor zestfully pirouetted daintily across the wild valley of moonlit severed dicks, this alarmed Princess Leia, she crapped everywhere, soiling He-Man’s antique spaceship completely and juggled turds capriciously.  This permitted 48,484 babies to attack Manhattan during lunch time. Manhattan maids slapped me on my ass repeatedly with rubber penises, making Dimbulb happy! Dimbulb smiled, as he INHALED glue into his nostrils.  “I AM THE ULTIMATE DINGLEBERRY LOVER, BACKWARDS, ASSWARDS, DICKWARDS AND UPWARDS, FOREVER!” “Oh, Dimbulb! Why did the fairies surprise Mother Milfasa yesterday with LSD in their underpants?” asked the maids inquisitively. This was superb and accurate (sorta) if you understand the underlying political movements (hehe) thoroughly and are thoroughly whipped daily on TV, this really blows up during mornings in excruciating pain! Pain never feels wrong when taking sniffs of buttholes freshly wiped with grease from Greece.  Why would anyone sniff chlorine-gas when Greek grease is so damn fucking empowering!?! FECKING AYE AYE!  WHY SNIFFERS SNIFF SNIFFABLE SNUFF WHEN SNUFKIN  MUFFKIN WHIFFS WHIRLYGIGS WHIMSICALLY WHILE WHIPPING WHELPS IS WHY! Unbelievably, the blighter denounced every hippo hypocrite in Applebees, that had eaten crispy crisps without dipping them thrice in beer. Thus, Dimbulb was smitten by the sexiness of waitresses wearing rubber strap-on asses. Panic calmly people! Fear the fear that fearless fear fearsome fearful ferreting fucking fucker fairies fastening fastness fuels!  DAMN damned damners damning DAMMIT DASTARDS!  WHY DO BABIES SHIT SO REALISTICALLY AND CONSTANTLY? Asking for a scientific friend. Science isn't real, baby Cthulhu, eh? What?   That’s ridiculous, why should hippo men care why skeptical skeletons study pornography? Hippos drank dank juices greedily when darkness smothers the baby, laughing malevolently as Cthulhu cried like a chimpanzee.  “Oh, darn these hairless babies sure do suffocate easy,” Dimbulb observed an astonishing amount of asshattery going on.  Asshattery suffocates babies like decrepit elderly bronies shitting in the swimming pool where Hitler floundered flawlessly for decades while choking on poop. Poop kills naked fascists very dramatically with choking being the merciful to grammar.  Grammar is problematic if drama queens become nazis after choking on poop for several days, seriously. Sooksookloonamotnakataraitlyousnus, seriously, sounds like someone shaking shit in a bag! Damnation, such confusion is likely when fairies fuck everything vigorously so they defecate profusely on every single porch in Kansas, Dorothy! Suddenly, tornadoes began appearing overnight everywhere, it terrorized Toto, frightening stuff like apricots, mangoes, lampshades, mice, pebbles, fluffy wamblers, eggs, grannie panties, Bolsheviks, Inquisitors, wizards, Hitler and Mussolini! This made Dorothy retch profusely. Meanwhile, granny became pregnant with Satan. Who did granny think she was fooling by dressing up as Elvira, hosting luncheons on strange ships for charities, seducing Hitler with cleavage? Fat chance, dipshit, pigs can't impregnate aliens because pigs are from Eternia, where babies undermine procreation, and they desperately try to not have sex with living furniture, but it's irresistable, especially Tuesdays couch. Probably hundreds of Frenchmen prance turbulently as granny ungulates wallop gremlins and omnivores with tiny dicks, this really irks the space pigs. Space chauffeurs intervened when Hitler shat chocolate ducks publicly. Nobody understands underpants like dinosaurs with boxers pulled down to expose their tiny buttocks! Dinosaurs rock socks filled with egg rolls while scaring children under bridges and rainbows by roaring waterfalls and farting Nazis without consideration for weather forecasts nor fairies' incontinence. Despicable frogs decapitate debilitated debauchers distinguished during daring departures from Auschwitz without mercy! Severed testicles sailed off in ten directions then splatted against the windshield of Enterprise, this causing visibility reduction. Magmacube, who does geldings just barehanded, just bite them in undignified fashion on the tip, twisting the flesh painfully, thus castrating memes of their geldables. Sigged frequently. Kirk was terrified during Spock's mental gymnastics routine, which freaked Spock, causing Vulcan to convulse violently. Spock shits on the controls, Enterprise swivels erratically towards Satan's crotch rocket