Turn 0
You and your allies arrive at the infamous Cavern of almost but not quite certain doom within the Theoretically Infinite Mountain Range. You have been tasked with slaying the mighty Pink Dragon, which now stands right in front of you! You have a feeling that this is going to get Incredibly Silly.
Pink Dragon: 5000/5000 HP.
No Action
Roll 2: This roll is generally a fail, but you don't need to roll particularly well to just stand around drooling.
Shoot it with a gun.
Roll 3: You whip out your gun and take a shot at the Pink Dragon The bullet fails to pierce its tough scales and you only inflict 5 damage.
GO FIND THE BRIEFCASE STASHED NEARBY FOR ME BY THE ICA (INTERNATIONAL CONTRACT AGENCY), OPEN IT AND BEGIN ASSEMBLING THE SNIPER RIFLE WITHIN
Roll 6: You take the parts from your case and assemble your sniper rifle. Then you take the case itself and use that to craft a second sniper rifle!
Charge into it.
Roll 4: You just sort of charge at the Pink Dragon. Bonk! That is the sound of you running into one of the dragon's legs. This didn't actually hurt the dragon, but you got into melee range.
Drive my plane above the dragon and drop a piano on top of it.
Roll 5: You get into your plane and take off. As it turns out, the Pink Dragon is inside of a cave; but the cave is so big you can still fly your plane into it! The piano crashes into the Pink Dragon's head to inflict 35 damage!
>Turn the dragon into a really large and long purple cybernetic worm. Watch as !!FUN!! ensues while I sit back.
Roll 3: You tell the Pink Dragon to turn around. It only turns its head and notices the nearby purple cybernetic worm.
Following the instructions from the renowned guidebook ,"How to Train Your (Pink) Dragon", I tame the dragon.
Roll 1: You take out your book and start to read it. Page one says "For the love of god, don't try to tame a Pink Dragon while people are actively trying to slay it. If the Pink Dragon sees you while people are trying to slay it, it will never listen to you even if you try again in the future."
Oh, and the Pink Dragon is looking right at you. Oops.
Punch it with my teeth.
Roll 3: You try to punch the Pink Dragon with your teeth, which I guess is sort of like a headbutt with your mouth? You inflict 4 damage to the dragon, and now your teeth hurt.
Use cool martial arts to break it's teeth
Roll 4: You do some kind of spinning flying kick or something and kick at the Pink Dragon's head. You inflict 11 damage, and only manage to sort of chip its teeth.
break the fourth wall, thereby exposing the framework of the RTD and changing the area to forum thread of roll to Slay the Pink Dragon! Within the Theoretically infinite Roll to Dodge board of the 12th Bay!
Roll 4: Okay? But that doesn't actually change anything, fourth wall or not.
Gather an army to fight the dragon.
Roll 3: You aren't very persuasive, but you do manage to convince a particularly drunk guy to help you out.
I kill these insolent intruders with my claws
Roll 1: You miss, and end up hitting the Cybernetic Purple Worm instead. You get splashed by battery stomach acid or something and take 10 damage!
King Zultan: Has a gun
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is in a plane
MonkeyMarkMario: Has some drunk guy as an ally.
Injured Cybernetic Purple Worm
Pink Dragon: 4935/5000 HP.
I incinerate these fools with my Fire Breath!
Roll 4: You exhale deadly flames. Its a bad time to try to hit you in the head with melee attack!
Stab the dragon repeatedly in the closest foot with a sharpened flathead screwdriver.
Roll 6: A Pink Dragon is a fearsome enemy, so you prepared as best as you could. By which I mean you brought along a screwdriver AND you sharpened it! You stab at the dragon a few times. The first few stabs don't seem to do anything, but then you get your screwdriver underneath one of the dragon's nails! With a bit of work you manage to inflict 50 damage!
Scream "LEEEEROOOOOOY JENKIIIIINS" as loud as I can and sucker punch the dragon right in the face.
Roll 6: You go to punch the Pink Dragon in the face. As you leap up to strike it, the dragon is breathing deadly flames! You are so determined however, that you do a cool flip to evade the attack and punch it really hard in the face to deal 40 damage!
Use my blood to summon the great Gold Dragon to fight the Pink one. Accordibg to color rankings he should be stronger.
Roll 4: You summon a Gold-colored Komodo dragon to assist you!
Time for new plan. Find and steal a Pink Dragon egg.
Roll 5: You run deeper into the cave and manage to find a Pink Dragon egg! Are you sure that's wise?
Screw it, let's mess some things up.
Locate a Dark Teal dragon egg, to better compliment the Pink dragon.
Roll 6: You go deeper into the cave and manage to find a Pink Dragon egg. Luckily, you also just happened to find a paintbrush and a can of Dark Teal paint, which you promptly use to turn the Pink Dragon egg into a Dark Teal Dragon Egg that might actually hatch into a Dark Teal Dragon!
>Give the Purple Cybernetic Worm a healthbar. As for myself, obtain a minigun but with a catch. Normally, when you pull a minigun (or any other non-shotgun firearm for that matter), only one bullet comes out. There's nothing stopping me from having all bullets in the minigun's belt fire at once. But I'll need to make those several hundred rounds count.
Roll 2: You go to give the Purple Cybernetic Worm a healthbar, but a gout of dragonfire rushing by forces you to stop in your tracks! To make matters worse, you weren't able to find a minigun shotgun things just laying around! What kind of two-bit cave is this?
Look for robotic mushrooms or something to eat
Roll 5: You find and consume some robotic mushrooms to heal yourself!
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Has a gold-colored Komodo dragon as an ally/
dragonman7887: Stole a Pink Dragon Egg
King Zultan: Has a gun
KitRougard: Stole a Dark Teal Dragon Egg
MonkeyMarkMario: Has some drunk guy as an ally.
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is in a plane
Pink Dragon: 4845/5000 HP.
I murder the crap out of the filthy egg thieves!
Roll 3: You set out to inflict harm upon the players who stole eggs from you!
Now, I'm no fool, and I know that Dark Teal Dragons are the perfect teammate to a Pink Dragon, so I snuggle up next to the Pink Dragon, egg in hands, hoping it recognizes me as an ally.
Roll 2: There are probably a lot of good reasons why you might be inclined to steal an egg from a Pink Dragon. A misguided attempt to befriend it is not one of them! The dragon stomps on you and crushes one of your legs, before angrily moving deeper into the cave!
Have my Komodo bite Pinkie to inflict some poison damage!
Roll 5: You send your Komodo Dragon to go and attack the Pink Dragon's smallest digit. As it turns out, Komodo dragons are not actually poisonous. But they ARE venemous, which is good because that is the effect that would actually be relevant when you bite something! This inflicts 30 damage.
drop my collection of anvils in top of the dragon
Roll 4: You drop a few anvils out of your plane as you fly by but as you do the anvils start to float up towards the ceiling! One of them grazes you as it does so, but fortunately it didn't have much momentum at the time so you aren't too hurt.
Have my drunk guy attack the dragon, while I go recruit a recruiter.
Roll 1: Your poor choice in allies quickly becomes apparant as the drunk guy stabs you in the back with a broken bottle while shouting racial slurs! The recruiter who just happened to be nearby for some reason decided that he wants nothing to do with you.
“Your pathetic anvil magic BETRAYS YOU!”
Reverse the gravity on all anvils, causing them to float off into space and hit ziizo on the way out. no cheesing the boss!
Roll 5: You reverse the gravity of the anvils. There are now several anvils stuck to the roof of the cave. Might take some additional effort if you want them to get all the way to space though.
Search for screws on the dragon's foot. If present, loosen them, if not, keep stabbing the foot, applying a twisting motion while pulling the screwdriver out.
Roll 3: You see no screws so you just stab at the Pink Dragon to inflict 6 more damage. The dragon then moved out of easy melee range!
BE
Roll 5: You exist. Yay for you!
Get a bigger gun and shoot the dragon, if I can't find a bigger one just shoot it with the one I already have.
Roll 3: You make your gun a bit bigger by attaching a silencer to it. Its no more powerful, but technically bigger now. You then shoot the dragon for 5 damage.
Climb to the cavern ceiling and try and knock some stalactites directly above the Pink Dragon.
Roll 6: You manage to climb up there and knock down a load-bearing stalactite. How is that a thing? Anti-gravity probably has something to do with it! The Pink Dragon takes a total of 63 damage from the resulting collapse!
Hatch the Pink Dragon egg in a secluded area, away from the Pink Dragon.
Roll 6: You somehow manage to escape the Pink Dragon's notice despite the fact that it is actively searching for you, and the egg has hatched! There is now a baby Pink Dragon.
Proudly raise my "I <3 Dragons" sign and stand between the fighters and the dragon, putting myself easily in harms way of both. Proselytize to the adventurers about how cute and adorable and harmless dragons are, then try to befriend the dragon.
Roll 1: You decide that it would be prudent for you to get between the Pink Dragon and the guy who stole its egg. You get stomped on hard, and are now as flat as a pancake!
>Give the Purple Cybernetic Worm a healthbar. As for myself, obtain a minigun but with a catch. Normally, when you pull a minigun (or any other non-shotgun firearm for that matter), only one bullet comes out. There's nothing stopping me from having all bullets in the minigun's belt fire at once. But I'll need to make those several hundred rounds count. Use teleportation to safely do both tasks.
Roll 1: Well... The good news is that you managed to get the health bar over to the Cybernetic Purple Worm. The bad news is that you teleported directly inside of said worm in order to do so! You are now being digested by the Cybernetic Purple Worm. To make matters worse, you couldn't obtain a minigun inside the worm! What kind of two-bit worm is this anyway?
Start digging a hole
Roll 3: You begin to carve out a tunnel. You only make a bit of progress as the stone here is pretty rugged.
0cra_tr0per: Is engulfed by a Cybernetic Purple Worm
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Has a gold-colored Komodo dragon as an ally.
Coolrune206: Is as flat as a pancake
dragonman7887: Stole a Pink Dragon Egg
King Zultan: Has a gun
KitRougard: Stole a Dark Teal Dragon Egg, has a crushed leg.
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is in a plane
There are several anti-gravity anvils on the ceiling
Baby Pink Dragon
Cybernetic Purple Worm: 190/200
Some Drunk Guy
Pink Dragon: 4741/5000 HP.
iw'm going to dirvfe home. this ics a vgood idea
Roll 4: You manage to exit the battlefield, and only crash your car like twice in doing so!
Dig Dig Dig
Roll 4: You manage to dig yourself into the ground!
Drop the last of my cargo (A few wooden boxes with "Fragile" written on them) on top of the dragon
Roll 5: You unload a bunch of fragile wooden boxes above the Pink Dragon the boxes were very fragile and shattered on impact, but they were filled with sharp knives and stuff! It deals 22 damage.
>Mind control the worm into getting above a location where I can drop out by making my position set in stone until I'm no longer inside a worm.
Roll 1: I'm not entirely sure what to classify a Cybernetic Purple Worm as, but robots don't have a proper mind to control and worms don't really have a mind at all so this doesn't work on any level. You stay in the worm and are now partially digested! I would presume that drills are involved. Ouch.
Whip out the guidebook, "How to Raise Your (Pink) Dragon", and follow its instructions. Also, figure out the gender of the baby Pink Dragon. If it's a her, name her Lily, if it's a him, name him Pinkie.
Roll 6: You read up on how to raise your Pink Dragon, skipping past the part about egg incubation. The book recommends making sure that you are the first thing that it sees after it hatches; so you lucked out on that part. You then manage to feed it without getting bitten! The Baby Pink Dragon is now friendly towards you!
Un-pancake myself, all the while shouting praise of the dragon to the whole world.
Roll 6: You cure yourself of pancaked, presumably through the use of a large spatula, then start ranting about how great Pink Dragons are. A few conservationists are inspired to join you!
attempt to magnetize snakes. because I can.
Roll 6: Okay, you magnetize some snakes. Now there are magnetic snakes all over the place!
Move back into easy melee range.
Roll 1: The floor collapses beneath you and now you are in another tunnel, nowhere near the Pink Dragon!
Stumble after the Pink Dragon carefully and legalese it! I am not a thief! I have found an egg of your sister species, the Dark Teal! Thus, I am an ally!
Roll 5: You try talking to the dragon. Its a tough sell, but at the very least you manage to talk the Pink Dragon into killing the people shooting at it and stuff before you. Progress!
Use a children's card game to summon Exodia the Forbidden One! In attack mode!
Roll 6: Well obviously this is a stupid idea and your s- wait. You seem to have rolled a 6. You somehow manage to summon an Armless, Legless Exodia to fight with you!
become muscle wizard apprentice. Begin learning to cast Fist.
Roll 2: Unfortunately, there are no Muscle Wizards in the area for you to apprentice under!
Destory these intruders with fireballs!
Roll 1: Your fireballs are widely off target. Like, all ten of them! And one of them explodes in your mouth inflicting 13 damage!
0cra_tr0per: Is engulfed by a Cybernetic Purple Worm, partially digested
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Has a gold-colored Komodo dragon as an ally. Has an armless, legless Exodia.
dragonman7887: Has a Baby Pink Dragon
Coolrune206: Has a few conservationists as allies
King Zultan: Has a gun
KitRougard: Has a Dark Teal Dragon Egg, has a crushed leg.
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is in a plane
There are several anti-gravity anvils on the ceiling
There are Magnetic Snakes all over the place
Cybernetic Purple Worm: 190/200
Pink Dragon: 4706/5000 HP.
Attack using a Claw/Claw/Bite combo!
Roll 4: You lash out against the intruders with your natural weapons!
Use brain powers and a pair of sharpened flathead screwdrivers to climb up (down? away from the origin towards positive k?) into 4D space.
Roll 5: You use your screwdrivers to enter the Void of Lost Space! There is emptiness all around you and strange geometric objects everywhere!
Perfect! Now to play basketball with the snakes, FOR THE WIN!
Roll 1: They're fucking snakes dude. They can't play basketball. They don't even have hands! You get bitten by anti-gravity snakes and are now poisoned!
Now place the Left Leg of the Forbidden One, the Right Leg of the Forbidden One, and the Right Arm of the Forbidden One and the Left Arm of the Forbidden One in attack mode and use Pot of Greed, which allows me to draw two cards.
Roll 5: You play the Left Leg, the Right Leg, and the Right Arm, but you are unable to play the Left Arm too because in Yu-Gi-Oh or Duel Monsters or whatever that nonsense is called, you can only have five monsters in play at once. You'll have to put down your Komodo Dragon before you can play all five. There is now a pot of greed on the battlefield.
Use magic to make the gun bigger then shoot the dragon with it.
Roll 5: You make your gun a bit bigger using magic, and then shoot the Pink Dragon to deal 33 damage!
Let go of the cavern ceiling and elbow drop the Pink Dragon.
Roll 4: You drop down from the ceiling to elbow the Pink Dragon to inflict 13 damage... But the Dragon slashes you with its claws on your way down! You are now badly hurt!
LOAD BOTH RIFLES, THEN MOVE TO A GOOD VANTAGE POINT
PUT ONE GUN ASIDE FOR NOW AND BEGIN SNIPING!
Roll 4: You load up both of your rifles, and take a shot at the Pink Dragon. You fail to hit anything even remotely vital, but you still deal 25 damage!
A new challenger has appeared!
Punch the pink dragon several times! Rapid-fire!
Roll 3: You punch the Pink Dragon a few times. A large number of weak attacks proves to be ineffective against dragonscale and you only cause 3 damage! The Pink Dragon[/b] then claws you in retaliation! You are now badly hurt!
fly my plane in collision course with the dragon.
And jump out ot it before the crash
Roll 5: You sent your plane Pink Dragon-wards and then jump out. Then plane then proceeds to strike the dragon for 40 damage! You are now falling towards the ground really quickly.
Continue following the instructions and raise my baby Pink Dragon.
Roll 1: The big Pink Dragon finally catches up to you as you read your book and moves to bite you. You are now inside of the pink dragon!
>Have my clone that's currently inside the purple cybernetic worm delete itself. Send my actual body into the fray, with an impractically oversized sword that is really long just to be long. About a mile of blade length.
Roll 4: You destroy your clone and enter the battlefield for real. You had to leave your sword behind on account of it being so incredibly unwieldly that you cannot even move it, let alone carry it.
find a muscle wizard to be apprenticed to!
Roll 2: You manage to find a Muscle Wizard in the general vicinity and ask him to train you, but he is all like "No way man, do you even lift?"
Arm the conservationists with my massive stockpile of hilariously over-sized spatulas and instruct them to flip the other adventurers away from the dragon.
Roll 2: Unfortunately, your massive stockpile of hilarously over-sized spatulas have also been pancaked and cannot be used!
Care for the Dark Teal Dragon egg, keeping it warm, re-applying Magical Color Paint as needed.
Roll 4: You manage to take care of the Dark Teal Dragon Egg, and ensure that it remains Dark Teal in color, and ocasionally shoo away magnet snakes that try to get at it!
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Has a gold-colored Komodo dragon as an ally. Has a summoned Exodia missing a Left Arm.
dragonman7887: Is being eaten by the Pink Dragon. Has a Baby Pink Dragon
CABL: Badly Hurt
Coolrune206: Has a few conservationists as allies
King Zultan: Has a gun
KitRougard: Has a Dark Teal Dragon Egg, has a crushed leg.
Lenglon: Was poisoned by a snake
methylatedspirit: Is in the Void of Lost Space
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
There are several anti-gravity anvils on the ceiling
There are Magnetic Snakes all over the place
There is a pot of greed here
Cybernetic Purple Worm: 190/200
Muscle Wizard
Pink Dragon: 4632/5000 HP.
This is getting ridiculous. I call my army of Kobolds to help deal with this!
Roll 6: A swarm of one hundred Kobolds floods into the corridor!
I'm Poisoned? SWEET! now that I've become Poisoned, check out what this awesome new body of mine can do. does it have poison-related superpowers? Bite the dragon to secrete my venom into it!
Roll 6: This idea is stupid and you're s- wait. Did you just roll a 6? Umm... It turns out that the Snake was actually radioactive and not poisonous, and you tranform into Magnetic Snakeman! You bite the Pink Dragon to deal 40 damage!
This was my strategy all along! Draw and activate Tribe-Infecting Virus. A spell card that allows me to send a monster to the graveyard! Use it on my Gold Komodo.
Now into Tribe-Infecting Virus second ability. I declare the Type my monster was when I activate the effect. Sending all opponents of this type to the graveyard. In this case, reptiles, like the Pink Dragon!
NOW, I DRAW THE LEFT ARM!
EXODIA OBLITERATE THE PINK DRAGON!
Roll 4: So as it turns out, Tribe Infecting Virus is ALSO a monster card, so you are still unable to play it while you have five monsters in play. Fortunately for you, the Magnetic Snakes have more attack points than the Left Leg of Exodia which they attack and destroy, enabling you to play Tribe Infecting Virus and destroying your Komodo Dragon; thus making room for the left arm, which you then play!
land in a mass of floating magetic snakes to slow my fall to safe velocities
Roll 5: You land in a pile of magnetic snakes; preventing you from oncoming pancake-related doom!
>Give myself a minigun but with a catch. Normally, when you pull a minigun (or any other non-shotgun firearm for that matter), only one bullet comes out. There's nothing stopping me from having all bullets in the minigun's belt fire at once. But I'll need to make those several hundred rounds count.
This is the third time I've tried doing this but third time's the charm.
Roll 3: So... Its like a particularly shitty variation of a flak cannon I guess? Okay, I guess you can have that now. But now you have to make bullets!
Use even more brain powers and the same pair of flathead screwdrivers to project the geometric objects back into 3D space, then launch them at the dragon's kneecaps.
Roll 2: You find yourself unable to affect the geometric objects with the powers of your mind, and remain stuck here.
Well this won't do at all. Phase through the Pink Dragon and go back to raising my baby Pink Dragon.
Roll 3: You narrowly escape from the Pink Dragon's jaws, only to find that a group of kobolds have picked up the Baby Pink Dragon and are carrying it away!
Very well, we now just have a very large amount of pancakes with which to fight! Arm the conservationists with those, and bring them to battle against the adventurers!
Roll 6: Armed with deadly spatula-swords, your conservationist friends prepare to fight alongside you! Who are you going to attack first?
Use more magic to make the gun even bigger then shoot the dragon with it.
Roll 2: You magic your gun to be a a bit bigger, but now your bullets are too small to shoot with your gun!
Attempt to find a doctor or practitioner of medicine somewhere in the potentially infinite mountain range. Tty and get fixed up.
Roll 2: You start to search for a doctor or something, but the closest thing to an actual doctor you were able to find just had a doctorate in comparative literature.
“great bait mate, i rate eight of eight.”
call muscle wizard’s bluff, then get him to apprentice me!
Roll 5: The muscle wizard condesendingly explains the first step to becoming a muscle wizard to you. Before you can become a muscle wizard, you must have great fortitude, toughness and poison immunity. Due to this, muscle wizards must have had fallen victim to a disease and poison.
Transform into a karate tentacle demon, try to choke the Pink dragon.
Roll 4: You turn one of your arms into a karate tentacle. You then attempt to grapple the Pink Dragon to deal 8 damage.
Try for a recruiter again.
Roll 2: You try to find a recruiter, but are only able to find a commuter. At least that rhymes with recruiter?
Attempt to determine how many turns it'll be until my Dark Teal Dragon hatches.
Roll 1: Well the good news is that you discovered when the dragon will hatch. The bad news is that you discovered that by accidentally dropping the egg, which broke it! That means its never going to hatch. Oops.
0cra_tr0per: Has a defective minigun that can only shoot all ammunition at once; and no ammunition
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Has a tribe-infecting virus card in play. Has a summoned Exodia missing a Left Leg.
dragonman7887: Has a Baby Pink Dragon
CABL: Has a karate tentacle arm, Badly Hurt
Coolrune206: Has a few conservationists armed with deadly Spatula-swords as allies
King Zultan: Has a gun
KitRougard: Has a crushed leg.
Lenglon: Can turn into Magnetic Snakeman!
methylatedspirit: Is in the Void of Lost Space
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
There are several anti-gravity anvils on the ceiling
There are Magnetic Snakes all over the place
There is a pot of greed here
Cybernetic Purple Worm: 190/200
Muscle Wizard
Pink Dragon: 4584/5000 HP.
Kobold: 100 remaining
I focus on the next person who lands a hit on me and annihilate them!
Roll 3: You prepare to counterattack...
I'm going to go dig into some other cave now.
Roll 4: You manage to escape from the battlefield.
He stared. Then he remembered the weird gun in his pocket.
The Gun To Kill Time.
He had one bullet.
The Bullet To Kill The Past.
It was time. He loaded The Gun with The Bullet. There was no going back from going back, but this was worth it.
He shot the broken egg with The Gun To Kill Time's Bullet To Kill The Past, thus rewinding it into the past to make it whole and alive again.
Roll 1: You take aim at the egg... And MISS! The bullet then ricochets off the ground and hits you in the leg. Time rewinds for you. You take aim at the egg... And MISS! You missed both times! Your bullet then collides with another time bullet, presumably from when you missed a third time in the future, and the time bullet has been erased from the timeline altogether! You then discover that your pants have been sent further into the past than you did. Wow, that's really embarassing! Some nearby kobolds point and laugh at you.
...Just draw the left leg and watch Exodia punch the Dragon.
Roll 3: You put the Left Leg of the forbidden one into your hand, and have your Exodia attack... Unfortunately having four parts of exodia in play and one part in your hand doesn't really do anything for you. Also, you're not actually allowed to have more than one copy of those cards in your deck but you don't give a shit about that. Your Exodia punches the Pink Dragon to inflict 15 damage!
... Then the Pink Dragon counterattacks! Your incomplete Exodia has been defeated! You are also slightly injured because Exodia was in attack mode, so that obviously means you have less life points or something.
Smite the miserable kobolds from existence for kidnapping my baby Pink Dragon! Then continue to raise my baby Pink Dragon.
Roll 5: You smite two of the kobolds and a third one runs away. You manage to pick up your baby Pink Dragon and manage to sneak away with it while the big Pink Dragon is distracted by a nearby Exodia.
grab a pair of magnetic snakes and run under the dragon.
Then use the power of snake magnetims to attract the anvils and make them crash into the dragon.
Roll 6: You grab some Magnetic Snakes and slide underneath the Pink Dragon. The anvils dislodge from the ceiling and smash the Pink Dragon on the head, dealing a whopping 90 damage!
Smack the shit out of Yugi Angry Demon Noises over there before he summons Exodia. Have the conservationists help.
Roll 3: Looks like the immediate Exodia danger has passed, but you and your conservationists smack him around a bit anyway. You hear no objections from the conservationists as this guy sacrificed his own Gold colored Komodo Dragon, which is a threatened species!
Tell the commuter that I will reward him if he gets me some people to help me. Show him a $100 bill as incentive.
Roll 3: You offer the commuter a $100 bill. The commuter promises to let you know if he finds anyone who would be interested.
right, go find a poisonous potion (preferably nonlethal poison) and drink it. After that, destroy exodia for being too cheesy and punch Angry_Demon_Noises in the face for being a yugioh fan.
Roll 1: You manage to find a poisonous potion and drink it... Yeah, you're pretty sure that this was one of those lethal poisons. Also, the right arm of Exodia poofs back into existence. A nearby kobold then stabs you for good measure.
Improvise a glider and spear using the strange geometric objects.
Roll 6: You create a geo-glider and a geo-spear. You also stumble across a Time Bullet that was removed from some other reality. Finders keepers!
Woo! I HAVE SUPERPOWERS! YEAH!
CELEBRATORY PLASMABALL GAME WITH THE MAGNASNAKES! (Its like basketball, but with plasma balls!)
Roll 1: This idea is stupid and your s- wait. Did you just roll a 6? No. No you didn't. You suffer horrible plasma burns, and lose the plasmaball game 5 points to 1. Then the magna-snakes lose against a kobold team which makes you look even worse by comparison.
Quick mind control the kobolds and make them my slaves.
Roll 1: You invade the mind of a kobold, but then discover that some eldritch horror was already doing stuff with its mind. You are now posessed by some kind of phychic phantom!
Mount the Pink Dragon via my tentacle, then make it incinerate EVERYONE!
Roll 1: Well the good news is that you got to incinerate PART of everyone. The bad news is that this particular subset of everyone was you. You have been burned to death by an angry Pink Dragon. On the bright side, at least you were the first person to die! You'll need to find some way to un-die now.
>Obtain all the bullets my minigun can fire. Do everything from making bullets, to finding them, to buying them. I don't care what kind, as long as they can fit in it.
Also, rename the minigun to 'Make it count.'
Roll 2: You make a few bullets, but a kobold stole them when you weren't looking!
Come late and convince the Kobolds I am the real Pink Dragon and they should attack the imposter.
Roll 6: You look nothing like a Pink Dragon, so its just that much more impressive that you got a few of these idiots to believe that! a group of 10 Kobolds attack the Pink Dragon to inflict 40 damage in total!
0cra_tr0per: Has a defective minigun that can only shoot all ammunition at once; and no ammunition
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Has a tribe-infecting virus card in play. Has a right arm of Exodia in play.
dragonman7887: Has a Baby Pink Dragon
CABL: Was burned to death.
Coolrune206: Has a few conservationists armed with deadly Spatula-swords as allies
Dustan Hache: Consumed a lethal poison
King Zultan: Has a gun, Is possessed by some kind of Psionic Phantom
KitRougard: Has a crushed leg.
Lenglon: Can turn into Magnetic Snakeman! Is badly hurt from plasma.
methylatedspirit: Is in the Void of Lost Space, Has a Geo-glider and a Geo-spear. Has a time bullet.
MonkeyMarkMario: Might get reinforcements
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Rockeater: Convinced 10 kobolds he is a Pink Dragon
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
There are Magnetic Snakes all over the place
There is a pot of greed here
Pink Dragon: 4439/5000 HP.
Kobold: 88 remaining
I eat the traitor Kobolds!
Roll 4: You consume four of the kobolds, and heal 20 health!
Finally! Sit down and raise my baby Pink Dragon properly.
Roll 4: You sit down and shoo away a few kobolds, getting your baby Pink Dragon to calm down a bit. Next the book recommends feeding it. The book recommends either pieces of meat or fish. There's also a warning to not feed it candy...
swear my vengence upon the kobald team! this travesty CANNOT STAND! BEGIN THE TRAINING MONTAGE!
Roll 5: You swear vengence on the kobold team that beat the magna snake team that beat your team and begin training, and learn how to use plasma balls without burning yourself horribly!
THAT'S IT. BECOME A GIANT FRICKING KAIJU AND EAT THE CONSERVATIONISTS. THEN GRAPPLE WITH THE DRAGON
Roll 2: You grow one wider, but also one inch smaller. You nibble on a conservationist's ear until you get smacked!
use my sheer willpower (and the stab wound from the kobold) to survive the self poisoning, and having fallen ill many times in the past, successfully show my resilience to my muscle wizard teacher.
Roll 4: You use your willpower to overcome the poisoning, merely becoming badly hurt instead of killed! ... But the Muscle Wizard wasn't even looking! The nerve of him! At least some of the kobolds are impressed. One of them moves to stab you again, but another kobold holds him back saying that it would only make you stronger.
Teach my Kobolds how to convince other Kobolds I am the Pink Dragon.
Roll 5: You convert your six remaining kobolds into kobold missionaries! This is in spite of the fact that they just witnessed four of their friends being consumed by an actual Pink Dragon so good job!
suplex the dragon? I mean I ran out of things to drop on top of it and I am already below it so why not try suplexing it.
Roll 1: You very quickly learn exactly why you shouldn't try suplexing a Pink Dragon. You are now as flat as a pancake!
Use mind powers to exit the Void of Lost Space, setting me on a trajectory that lands me near the dragon.
Roll 6: You escape from the Void of Lost Space with the power of your mind and end up right behind the Pink Dragon. You even got to keep your strange geometric equipment!
F***. Two horrible failures in a row!
Only one thing left to do...
NECROMANTIC BLOOD RITUAL!
Using my blood, I create a magic circle around the broken egg, then cast a good-sized chunk of my soul into the Abyss to heal and rejuvenate the Egg.
Roll 3: You use the blood from your messed up leg to make circle around the remains of the egg. You fail to tear a piece of your own soul out however. You now have a ritual circle set up.
Respawn as a giant eagle, then claw Pink Dragon's eyes out.
Roll 3: You only respawn as a regular eagle. You claw the Pink Dragon to inflict 4 damage!
Use my new Psionic Phantom powers to kill the dragon.
Roll 5: You rise into the air, twitch like crazy and then sort of get flung at the Pink Dragon several times. You inflict 29 damage to it, but you get hurt yourself as well.
>Steal the life of the kolbold who stole my bullets by slamming my 'Make it count' minigun into his face. Proceed to procure more ammo.
Also, I'm accepting ammunition donations for my minigun.
Roll 3: You use your "Make it count" minigun to knock out a kobold, which is probably a much better use of it than actually trying to shoot it. You then loot a few bullets from said kobold.
0cra_tr0per: Has a defective minigun that can only shoot all ammunition at once; and a few bullets.
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Has a tribe-infecting virus card in play. Has a right arm of Exodia in play.
dragonman7887: Has a Baby Pink Dragon
CABL: Is an eagle.
Coolrune206: Has a few conservationists armed with deadly Spatula-swords as allies
Dustan Hache: Is badly hurt
King Zultan: Has a gun, Is hurt, Is possessed by some kind of Psionic Phantom
KitRougard: Has a crushed leg, set up a ritual circle.
Lenglon: Can turn into Magnetic Snakeman! Is badly hurt from plasma. Can use plasma balls relatively safely.
methylatedspirit: Has a Geo-glider and a Geo-spear. Has a time bullet.
MonkeyMarkMario: Might get reinforcements
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Rockeater: Convinced 6 kobold missionaries he is a Pink Dragon
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is as flat as a pancake
There are Magnetic Snakes all over the place
There is a pot of greed here
Pink Dragon: 4420/5000 HP.
Kobold: 87 remaining
I'll take them down with a swing of my mighty tail!
Roll 4: You get your tail moving. Its a bad time to be behind you!
(please update my status, I just left the Void)
Stab the dragon in the back with my geo-spear.
Roll 2: You leap up and aim for the Pink Dragon's back with your spear... But as you do the Pink Dragon's tail slams into your side! Thanks to your Geo-Glider you are only regular hurt upon hitting the ground.
Grab one the smited kobolds and feed it to my baby Pink Dragon. Also read why you're not supposed to feed baby Pink Dragons candy.
Roll 3: You feed the baby Pink Dragon some kobold. It seems that kobold is a safe thing to feed to a Pink Dragon, as evidenced by the fact that the big one also ate some kobolds. You flip through the book a bit, but find no mention of the actual reason not to feed it candy...
use cartoon logic to inflate myself and return to my normal form
Roll 2: Unfortunately, you are unable to operate an air pump while flat like this! Yes, this is the reason your plan failed.
show off my injuries from survival of the poison (and being stabbed) to the muscle wizard to convince him to train me further!
Roll 6: You go and show off your injuries to the Muscle Wizard. He nods, and then informs you that you don't need him to train you because you already ARE a Muscle Wizard now! Congrats!
Hey, Ritual Circle is halfway there.
Ensure the Ritual Circle is of a good quality, then... RITUAL!
Roll 4: After making sure that the ritual circle is not of poor quality or of great quality, you cast a good quality ritual. You bring back the Pink Dragon egg, but lose a bit of your soul in the process. You're going to need to apply a fresh coat of paint it seems.
>Attach a device to my minigun's ammo port that magically turns any bullets placed inside no matter what caliber or type into ammunition that can be properly fired without any issues from the minigun, as well as an ammo counter so I can see how much ammunition is in the belt at a glance. Also obtain more bullets.
Also Yoink, if you're not going to use one of the sniper rifles, can I have it's ammo?
Roll 6: You just happen to find an ammo crate near you with everything you need. Your weapon is now a rapid fire junk jet with an ammunition counter, which shows that you have 200 out of 200 ammunition loaded.
Fuse with the conservationists and become a giant eldrich blob of flesh, then attack the dragon.
Roll 2: The Pink Dragon's tail slams you to the ground before you manage to fuse with the conservationists. You are now hurt.
Have my missionaries convert more Kobolds and I try to convince the Pink Dragon he isn't the Pink Dragon.
Roll 1: Your kobolds go to talk to some of the other kobolds. Those other kobolds smack your kobold missionaries and convince them that you cannot possibly be a Pink Dragon. Because you don't have a pink belly. Yes, that is the actual argument that was used. Kobolds are really dumb. The kobolds turn against you!
Nah fam, just smack this dude to death before he channels his "ancient-ones" shit. Have the conservationists help.
Roll 2: You go to smack the Pink Dragon. Or maybe you intended to smack ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES and weren't clear about that. Either way, you are in exactly the wrong place and get smacked by the Pink Dragon's tail! You are now hurt!
Convince the Psionic Phantom that ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES is a better host than I am, so it'll posses him.
Roll 2: The phantom takes a look at ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES as he gets smacked by the Pink Dragon's tail, and decides that he probably isn't a better host after all!
0cra_tr0per: Has a defective minigun that can only shoot all ammunition at once, which can use any ammunition type. 200/200 bullets.
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Has a tribe-infecting virus card in play. Has a right arm of Exodia in play. Is hurt.
dragonman7887: Has a Baby Pink Dragon
CABL: Is an eagle.
Coolrune206: Has a few conservationists armed with deadly Spatula-swords as allies. Is hurt.
Dustan Hache: Is badly hurt, Is a Muscle Wizard
King Zultan: Has a gun, Is hurt, Is possessed by some kind of Psionic Phantom
KitRougard: Has a crushed leg, has a Pink Dragon, is missing part of his soul
Lenglon: Can turn into Magnetic Snakeman! Is badly hurt from plasma. Can use plasma balls relatively safely.
methylatedspirit: Has a Geo-glider and a Geo-spear. Has a time bullet. Is hurt.
MonkeyMarkMario: Might get reinforcements
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is as flat as a pancake
There are Magnetic Snakes all over the place
There is a pot of greed here
Pink Dragon: 4420/5000 HP.
Kobold: 87 remaining
Kobold Missionary: 6 remaining
I'll incinerate these intruders with my Fire Breath!
Roll 6: You burn every single intruder! And most of the Magna snakes. And like 10 of your stupidest kobolds.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! BECOME A HULKING RAGE MONSTER AND BIT OFF THE DRAGON'S EAR!
Roll 4: You transform into a Rage Monster and bite the Pink Dragon to deal 11 damage. You fail to escape from the dragon's fire breath and are now badly hurt and on fire! Your previous summons have also been incinerated!
Heal self using mind powers and screwdriver-like objects.
Roll 3: You manage to repair yourself using your screwdriver somehow. You're still hurt, but due to unrelated injuries caused by fire breath. You are also on fire too.
Paint my belly pink and show it to the Kobolds.
Roll 4: You paint your belly pink. Just as the kobolds are considering it, the Pink Dragon breathes fire in your direction. The kobold missionaries around you are incinerated, but they shield you from the worst of the fire breath. You're still set on fire by this however.
convince a kobold that using a air pump to inflate me would kill me.
Roll 2: Just as the kobold goes to use the pump, they are incinerated by dragonfire. Great, now you are pancaked AND on fire!
Feed the baby Pink Dragon some candy, then convince the Psionic Phantom that the dragon is a better host than I am.
Roll 4: You float upside-down to feed the baby Pink Dragon some candy, and manage to cram some into its mouth. It then spits it back out into your face. And then the big Pink Dragon burns you up with its fire breath! You are now badly hurt and also on fire. The psionic spirit is also on fire.
Okay, specifically slap Angry_Demon_Noises to death with the aid of the conservationists. Ignore my own injury.
Roll 1: You get incinerated by the Pink Dragon's dragonfire, and your conservationist allies get singed as well. You ignore your injuries which makes them worse. You are now in the process of burning to death!
>Sit my minigun on a rock or some other flat surface to mount it on and carefully aim it at the Pink Dragon. Pull the trigger afterwards.
Roll 5: You cautiously put the defective monstrosity of a gun onto a flat-ish rock then pull the trigger. The recoil from the gun is so powerful that the minigun then rockets into a stone wall and explodes! At least the Pink Dragon took 60 damage from the bullets that actually went in its general direction though. This all happens before the Pink Dragon turns to you with its fire breath. You are now hurt, and on fire!
go find a cleric to teach me healing magics now!
Roll 3: You manage to find a fledgling cleric. Then the Pink Dragon burns you to death with its fire breath. The cleric is also hurt by this.
Evolve into a Giant Eagle, then kill all of the kobold missionaries.
Roll 4: You evolve into a slightly larger normal eagle, and finish off the injured dying kobold missionaries. The Pink Dragon's fire gets to you. You are now hurt and on fire!
Well, if there's only one warning it can't be too bad. Steal King Zultan's candy and give my baby Pink Dragon a treat.
Roll 2: You fail to steal anything, and are probably better off for it. You are not however, better off from the big Pink Dragon's fire breath! You are now hurt and on fire! Fortunately the baby Pink Dragon was not harmed by the fire.
Paint Pink egg Dark Teal again!
Roll 3: You partially repaint the Pink Dragon egg before you get hit by the dragonfire which obviously means that the egg is only Purple now. You are now hurt and on fire!
0cra_tr0per: Is hurt, is on fire!
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Is badly hurt. Is on fire!
dragonman7887: Is hurt. Is on fire! Has a Baby Pink Dragon
CABL: Is a large-ish eagle. Is hurt. Is on fire!
Coolrune206: Has a few injured conservationists armed with deadly Spatula-swords as allies. Is in the process of burning to death.
Dustan Hache: Is dead, is a Muscle Wizard
King Zultan: Has a gun, Is badly hurt. Is on fire, Is possessed by some kind of Psionic Phantom. The psionic phantom is also on fire.
KitRougard: Has a crushed leg, has a purple Dragon egg, is missing part of his soul, Is hurt. Is on fire!
Lenglon: Can turn into Magnetic Snakeman! Is badly hurt from plasma. Can use plasma balls relatively safely.
methylatedspirit: Has a Geo-glider and a Geo-spear. Has a time bullet. Is hurt. Is on fire.
MonkeyMarkMario: Might get reinforcements
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Rockeater: Is hurt. Is on fire.
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is as flat as a pancake. Is on fire.
There still a few Magnetic Snakes here and there
There is a pot of greed here
Muscle Wizard (Slightly hurt)
Fledgling Cleric (Is hurt)
Pink Dragon: 4409/5000 HP.
Kobold: 76 remaining
I grab the Pot of Greed to add to my treasury
Roll 3: You swipe the Pot and begin to move to your treasure piles
Use that constant fiery pain to fuel my rage and bulk up to ridiculous levels!
Roll 1: You use the constant fiery pain to bulk up so large that you explode and die! You'll need to find a way to un-die now.
Burn then come back as a fire/ghost type pokemon.
Roll 5: Um. You die and become a Litwick apparantly.
Now I transform into a Giant Eagle Made Out Of Fire, then I'll breathe fire at the kobolds!
Roll 6: You... Well okay, you did roll a six. You ar enot a Giant Eagle made of Fire. You then proceed to burn up 8 of the Kobolds!
Fully embrace the fire, and transform into a flame man.
Roll 1: You embrace the fire and are burning to death. At least you look like a flame man?
Sacrifice my conservationists to convert the fire that is burning me into an eternal flame of rejuvenation, that constantly heals me as it burns forever.
Roll 5: You sacrifice your conservationists to turn the fire into a flame of rejuvenation. Unfortunately it will not last forever because your sacrifice wasn't immortal.
I run to the Pink Dragon, settings him on fire from the fire on me, by that proving I am the realPink Dragon.
Roll 3: You try to spread your flame to the Pink Dragon to inflict... 2 damage. None of the kobolds nearby are dumb enough to fall for that.
>Leap into water and apply first aid to myself. Teleport out of the cave for a while so I can prepare to get a really strong sword.
Roll 5: You teleport out of the cave into a pool of water, and manage to heal the worse of your injuries.
Accept the fire and become one with it.
Roll 2: You do nothing about the fire and are now in the process of burning to death. The psionic phantom finally decides that you're not a good host any longer and floats away.
Training complete, it's now time to redeem myself! Time to face off against the kobald team, to even the scores!
Roll 3: You go to play Plasmaball against the kobold team for some reason... You play through half the game and are ahead 3 points to 2! And no, I don't know how the fuck plasmaball is even played.
have the cleric revive me, then ask to learn their healing magics!
Roll 2: The cleric decided that healing themself was a higher priority and you remain dead.
Well. Become immune to fire and stop burning alive.
Roll 6: Well okay. I guess dragonman7887 is now a... Dragon... Man. You are no longer on fire.
Stop.
Drop.
Roll.
Roll 1: You stop living, drop to the ground and roll a one.
0cra_tr0per: Is slightly hurt.
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Was exploded.
dragonman7887: Is hurt. Is a dragonman. Has a Baby Pink Dragon
CABL: Is a giant eagle made of fire.
Coolrune206: Has a flame of rejuvination
Dustan Hache: Is dead, is a Muscle Wizard
King Zultan: Has a gun, Is in the process of burning to death.
KitRougard: Has a purple Dragon egg, is missing part of his soul. Was burned to death.
Lenglon: Can turn into Magnetic Snakeman! Is badly hurt from plasma. Can use plasma balls relatively safely.
methylatedspirit: Has a Geo-glider and a Geo-spear. Has a time bullet. Is in the process of burning to death.
MonkeyMarkMario: Might get reinforcements
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Rockeater: Is hurt. Is on fire.
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is a Litwick.
There still a few Magnetic Snakes here and there
There is a pot of greed here
Muscle Wizard (Slightly hurt)
Fledgling Cleric
Flaming Psionic Phantom
Pink Dragon: 4407/5000 HP.
Kobold: 68 remaining
Continue moving the pot
Roll 3: You move the pot into your treasury. Are you sure it was a good idea to let everyone follow you to your treasury?
Send the flame of rejuvenation to the pink dragon to heal it.
Roll 2: You send the flame of rejuvenation to the Pink Dragon. Fortunately, it seems that being immune to fire also makes you immune to healing fire.
Teleport to the nearest fire extinguisher, then use the fire extinguisher on myself. Teleport back once fully extinguished.
Roll 6: You find a magical fire extinguisher to put out your fire, and bring it back with you! Now instead of dying, you are only critically injured.
Kill Kobols for XP. I need 40 levels up for my evolution.
Roll 4: You attack a couple of kobolds. Instead of dying, they have only fainted however.
Get my fire spread to the entire place
Roll 4: Instead of trying to put out the fire, you spread it around! You are now badly hurt and even more on fire than before.
Determine what color my new glorious scales of my superior draconic form are.
Roll 5: Um... Yellow? I'm going to go with yellow.
Alright. Time for my plan to get a powerful sword.
>Find some evil, unholy/bloody metal. Make a sword out of said metal.
Roll 5: Okay then... You dig up some evilite ore and use it to make an evil sword. This seems like a bad idea to me but whatever.
Game's not over till it's gone all the way. Close out the match, pick up the win, and equalize the scores!
Roll 1: You equalize the scores by throwing a plasmaball into your own goal, giving the kobold team the point they needed to raise their score to match your own. The kobolds then proceed to beat your team 4 to 3. The magna snakes blame you for this loss and plasma you with plasmaballs. Combined with your previous injuries, you are now dead!
Regenarate from the pieces and get a Zenkai boost. Then start winding up an energy attack while screaming a lot.
Roll 3: You sort of manage to pull your pieces back together, but are still dead.
Roll around in some of the blood that's probably around, to put out my fire.
Roll 5: You extinguish the fire by rolling around in blood. You are now covered in blood!
Finally! That human's GONE!
I can hatch in peace!
...
...
...
Wait.
Am I f***ing purple?
Humans. Hate 'em.
Determine what kind of breath weapon I have!
Roll 4: Since you used part of your soul earlier, I guess you are now the Baby Purple Dragon! ... But you don't seem to have any breath weapon right now. Also worthy of note is that you are still missing part of your soul.
0cra_tr0per: Is slightly hurt. Has an evil sword.
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Is just regular dead.
dragonman7887: Is hurt. Is a yellow dragonman. Has a Baby Pink Dragon
CABL: Is a giant eagle made of fire.
Coolrune206: Has a flame of rejuvination
Dustan Hache: Is dead, is a Muscle Wizard
King Zultan: Has a gun, Is badly hurt. Is covered in blood.
KitRougard: Is a Baby Purple Dragon. Is missing part of his soul.
Lenglon: Can turn into Magnetic Snakeman! Can use plasma balls relatively safely. Is dead.
methylatedspirit: Has a Geo-glider and a Geo-spear. Has a time bullet. Has a magical fire extinguisher. Is critically injured.
MonkeyMarkMario: Might get reinforcements
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Rockeater: Is badly hurt. Is really on fire.
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is a Litwick.
There still a few Magnetic Snakes here and there
There is a dragon hoarde here
Part of the arena is on fire
Muscle Wizard (Slightly hurt)
Fledgling Cleric
Flaming Psionic Phantom
Pink Dragon: 4407/5000 HP.
Kobold: 68 remaining (4 fainted)
I'll conjure a gold golem to destroy anyone who tries to steal from me.
Roll 6: You conjure a Super Gold Golem!
I steal the Golden Barbell from the Dragon's Hoard!
Roll 2: You cannot find this particular item in the massive pile of treasure!
Respawn as a giant white tiger, bite the dragon's throat.
Roll 6: Okay, I guess you are a Giant White Tiger now. You bite the dragon to inflict 40 damage!
Start a dragon cult that worships me as the Supreme Being. Spread the cult to the far corners of the world.
Roll 2: You try to start a dragon cult, but nobody seems interested. Not even the stupid kobolds!
((Well, the idea was that I'm the Purple Dragon, with no relation to the man who Stopped and Dropped by Rolling a 1.))
Aww, what, no breath weapon? Weak. Wait, who the heck's my parent?
Probably that big pink one over there!
Snuggle up to the Pink Dragon.
Roll 4: You go and snuggle up to the Pink Dragon. It didn't make the connection between you and the guy who broke the egg yet it seems.
consume the kobolds life-force. The pokedex says I can do it.
Roll 2: Everyone knows that pokedex entries aren't literal. Who even makes that crap up anyway?
Choke the fire on me by having all the fire around take all the oxygen, ignore the obvious consequences of that.
Roll 2: Well the good news is that you failed to get rid of all the oxygen around you. The fire isn't nearly big enough to completely take all the air. You are starting to burn up now.
Heal self, somehow.
Roll 5: Um... I guess you use your time bullet to undo the worst of your injuries? Lets go with that.
Alright. Now for the next step.
>Using my evilite sword, go raid a dungeon in hopes of finding a bloodthirsting katana with a blue blade. This will be important later on.
Roll 4: You find a dungeon. It has four floors and you are now on floor one. Before you is some kind of a sliding block puzzle.
Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm. I can into space? Yesssss.... Somehow manage to punt myself into a stable orbit, and also hopefully not die almost immediately of asphyxiation or freezing to death. Prepare to use myself as a projectile to smack into those pesky humans attacking the dragon.
Roll 6: This is a stupid idea and your s- wait. You rolled a six. Okay... you punt yourself up into space. Now what?
Unleash fireball barrage at the kobolds.
Roll 3: You unleash a barrage of fireballs at the kobolds. They aren't very powerful but they don't need to be for kobolds. The kobold population is reduced by 3.
Go get one of the fainted Kobolds, then combine with it to heal my self.
Roll 3: I guess you sort of start eating one of them. You slightly heal. The kobold wakes up and starts screaming its head off.
await revival by cleric.
Roll 2: The cleric is just sort of fiddling with their inventory right now.
0cra_tr0per: Is slightly hurt. Has an evil sword. In a 4 floor dungeon
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Is a giant white tiger
dragonman7887: Is hurt. Is a yellow dragonman. Has a Baby Pink Dragon
CABL: Is a giant eagle made of fire.
Coolrune206: Is in space. Has a flame of rejuvination
Dustan Hache: Is dead, is a Muscle Wizard
King Zultan: Has a gun, Is medium-badly hurt. Is covered in blood.
KitRougard: Is a Baby Purple Dragon. Is missing part of his soul.
Lenglon: Can turn into Magnetic Snakeman! Can use plasma balls relatively safely. Is dead.
methylatedspirit: Has a Geo-glider and a Geo-spear. Has a magical fire extinguisher. Is hurt.
MonkeyMarkMario: Might get reinforcements
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Rockeater: Is badly hurt and burning up. Is really on fire.
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is a Litwick.
There still a few Magnetic Snakes here and there
There is a dragon hoarde here
Part of the arena is on fire
Muscle Wizard (Slightly hurt)
Fledgling Cleric
Flaming Psionic Phantom
Pink Dragon: 4367/5000 HP.
Super Gold Golem: 400/400 HP.
Kobold: 66 remaining (3 fainted)
I'll move around a corner to avoid ranged attacks, then claw anyone who gets near me!
Roll 6: You duck behind a corner and prepare to counterattack!
I dig below the dragon and choke the flames
Roll 3: You dig underground. You then grab the flames and try to choke them. You are a bit more hurt now, but now you are only regular on fire.
point out that in the animé, manga and pokken game litwicks and their evolutions can steal enemies life-force.
Then eat the kobolds to evolve.
Roll 1: Unfortunately for you, this is not an anime, mange or pokken game! You also can't eat the kobolds because you don't have any biting attacks! Then to make matters worse a random rock falls from the ceiling and bonks you on your... Combination head/body. You are slightly hurt.
Summon a Giant Eastern Green Dragon to help me, then double team the Pink Dragon.
Roll 4: You summon an Eastern Green Dragon which is giant compared to insects! You then go to attack the dragon to deal 12 damage! The dragon then claws you. You are now Badly Hurt!
>Cast Puzzleus Deletus on the puzzle. If that doesn't work, try to solve it.
Roll 2: Your puzzle deleting magic fails; and you also fail to solve it this turn. One of the blocks is stuck in ice or something.
Use screwdriver magic to fix self.
Roll 5: You screw yourself with your screwdriver until you are fully healed!
offer to help sort the cleric’s inventory in exchange for a revive.
Roll 3: The cleric tries to revive you, but the magic isn't strong enough!
Keep eating the kobold, then eat other kobolds until I turn into a kobold.
Roll 2: You take another bite, then feel something tap on your shoulder. You then turn to face a rather unhappy looking Kobolds. The kobold stabs you and you are slightly more hurt than before!
Breathe a flame hot enough to melt the gold golem.
Roll 4: You breathe on the Gold Golem to inflict 20 damage to it. It swings at you but you are able to evade the attack.
Wipe out a small tribe of kobolds and get them to worship me.
Roll 6: That doesn't even make sense. But you did roll a six so... You kill a group of kobolds and force their ghosts to worship you or something?
Get some Dwarfs to help, they hate Kobolds and Dragons alike.
Roll 2: Unfortunately, you are having some difficulty locating a dwarven fortress.
Fling myself at the player who does the most damage to the dragon this turn, using my fall from orbit to become an incredibly fast moving projectile. My flame of rejuvenation should offset the damage I take from reentry.
Roll 3: You fall from space towards ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES... And then slam into the roof of the cave because the fight was taking place in a cave. A stalactite falls towards ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES but his eastern dragon takes the hit! You survive the re-entry, but the impactwith the ground has left you as flat as a pancake!
0cra_tr0per: Is slightly hurt. Has an evil sword. In a 4 floor dungeon
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Is a giant white tiger. Is badly hurt. Has a summoned slightly injured Eastern Green Dragon.
dragonman7887: Is hurt. Is a yellow dragonman. Has a Baby Pink Dragon. Is followed by 10 kobold ghosts
CABL: Is a giant eagle made of fire.
Coolrune206: Is pancaked. Has a flame of rejuvination
Dustan Hache: Is dead, is a Muscle Wizard
King Zultan: Has a gun, Is badly hurt. Is covered in blood.
KitRougard: Is a Baby Purple Dragon. Is missing part of his soul.
Lenglon: Can turn into Magnetic Snakeman! Can use plasma balls relatively safely. Is dead.
methylatedspirit: Has a Geo-glider and a Geo-spear. Has a magical fire extinguisher.
MonkeyMarkMario: Might get reinforcements
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Rockeater: Is very badly hurt and burning up. Is regular on fire.
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is a Litwick. Is slightly hurt.
There still a few Magnetic Snakes here and there
There is a dragon hoarde here
Part of the arena is on fire
Muscle Wizard (Slightly hurt)
Fledgling Cleric
Flaming Psionic Phantom
Pink Dragon: 4355/5000 HP.
Super Gold Golem: 380/400 HP.
Kobold: 56 remaining (3 fainted)
I'll create a barrier to deflect their doubtlessly idiotic attacks.
Roll 1: You instead create a barrier that magnifies idiodic attacks! Shockingly, nobody takes advantage of this.
Now summon a Great Black Turtle and a Red Phoenix. This plan will be Digimon as fuck man.
Roll 6: I don't know what that means, but the dice says that this action succeeded.
I trow the fire out of my hole
Roll 4: You evict the flames from your hole so that you stop being on fire.
Equip leftovers to heal damage each turn then burn the Kobols for XP
Roll 1: You eat some leftovers stuff you find lying around and begin to feel sick!
Use the souls of any unfaithful kobolds to fuel my ascent into lichdom.
Roll 1: The unfaithful kobold souls in the area turn against you, and drive the faithful ones away! The Flaming Psionic Phantom also turns it attention towards you.
Give the cleric some time to work on it. magic isn’t an exact science after all.
Roll 3: The cleric pulls out some beakers and a bunson burner or something and proceeds to start doing science.
Sigged.
>Grab a torch and melt the ice. Proceed to solve the puzzle.
Roll 4: You melt the ice around the block and then push it into place. You open a room containing three undead knights.
Attempt to fly using my fire extinguisher and glider.
Roll 6: You um... Hang onto the glider and pull the trigger on the fire extinguisher to unleash a torrent of creamy foam to propel yourself into the air!
Eat the kobold that's stabbing me.
Roll 1: You go to eat the kobold that stabbed you before actually killing it, and it manages to get a lucky hit on your with its knife! Combined with your other injuries, you have been slain! You will need to find a way to un-die now.
Lure out the golem into the !!part of arena!!.
Roll 6: You manage to get the Gold Golem to move into the burning part of the arena, taking 80 damage in the process!
0cra_tr0per: Is slightly hurt. Has an evil sword. In a 4 floor dungeon
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Is a giant white tiger. Is badly hurt. Has a summoned slightly injured Eastern Green Dragon, a summoned Black Turtle, a summoned Red Phoenix
dragonman7887: Is hurt. Is a yellow dragonman. Has a Baby Pink Dragon.
CABL: Is a giant eagle made of fire.
Coolrune206: Is pancaked. Has a flame of rejuvination
Dustan Hache: Is dead, is a Muscle Wizard
King Zultan: Is dead.
KitRougard: Is a Baby Purple Dragon. Is missing part of his soul.
Lenglon: Can turn into Magnetic Snakeman! Can use plasma balls relatively safely. Is dead.
methylatedspirit: Has a Geo-glider and a Geo-spear. Has a magical fire extinguisher.
MonkeyMarkMario: Might get reinforcements
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Rockeater: Is very badly hurt.
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is a Litwick. Is slightly hurt. Is sick.
There still a few Magnetic Snakes here and there
There is a dragon hoarde here
Part of the arena is on fire
Muscle Wizard (Slightly hurt)
Fledgling Cleric
Flaming Psionic Phantom
4 Floor Dungeon: F1 - 3 undead knights
Pink Dragon: 4355/5000 HP.
Super Gold Golem: 300/400 HP.
Kobold: 56 remaining (3 fainted)
Kobold Soul: 41 remaining
I'll take in a really deep breath to amplify my next attack!
Roll 6: Your next attack is going to deal massive damage!
Keep looking for the Golden Barbell!
Roll 6: You swipe the Golden Barbell and become a Super Muscle Wizard!
Now fuse with the summons and become a Rainbow Chimera! With all the powers and colors of the animals it's composed of. Then shoot dragon/phoenix fire at the dragon.
Roll 1: You crash into your summons painfully, hurting you and all of your summons!
Try to burn Kobolds alive as sacrifies to victini, so it answers my prayers and gives me better lucks.
Roll 2: You try to burn the kobolds, but they manage to keep enough distance to avoid your fire attacks.
Point out to the kobold ghosts that they worshiped the Pink Dragon, who did nothing as I killed them, therefore they should be angry at the Pink Dragon and not me.
Roll 2: One of the kobold ghosts explains that the Pink Dragon clearly had a lot of shit going on right now, and was in fact making an effort to resolve the issue; which makes it a lot better than you, being the one who actually killed them. So yeah. They are basically being blasphemous.
>Using my sword, attack the undead knights in the weak spot in their armor. After killing them, loot their armor if there are any useful armor pieces, and wear said armor pieces. If I'm armored, it means I'll be less likely to die in an encounter in the quest for a strong sword.
Roll 5: You manage to find some weak points in the knight's armor and cut them down. You are now wearing armor with weak points! You then enter a room with a treasure box in it.
: Appears in the scene as a capes figure. With a dragon themed mask, which glows a ghostly light. Makes hand gestures and the cape literally grows eyes. Before said eyes become serpentine like tendrils with razor sharp teeth to dig into the pink dragons flesh, as he then also drains blood from Kobold fallen and nearby ones, making their blood solid, and boils them on fire as he launches the blood javelins into the Pink dragon during his surprise assault.:
“ I am in the mood for some dragon slaying.” As he draws out a really big axe, in a attempt to cleave He goes for the belly of the beast.
Roll 1: You rush towards the Pink Dragon with your axe in hand, but sprinkled chariot knocks you off balance with their spear! You are now slightly hurt.
Dig a big hole under the Dragon making him fall
Roll 5: You dig underneath the Pink Dragon, and the ground collapses a bit under its weight! It takes 25 damage.
Assuming that I'm now flying, dive straight into the dragon's head with my spear out.
Roll 6: With the long shaft of your Geo-spear in hand, you thrust it towards the Pink Dragon's head as you fly through the air to inflict 75 damage!
As knight of pink dragon I have sworn to protect pink dragons
Ride down horse at full speed and impale with spear someone fighting against dragon
Roll 3: You manage to hit someone with your spear who was about to attack the Pink Dragon, but you missed any vital points.
Unflatten myself, then wander off and locate uranium.
Roll 5: You manage to unflatten, and then locate a part of the cave that blips on a geiger counter. Are you sure this is wise?
Be a ghost and possess a kobold, then eat the dead kobolds.
Roll 5: Your ghost posesses one of the kobolds and you are a kobold now! You start eating one of the dead kobolds making you a cannibal kobold. The other kobolds seem disturbed about this.
0cra_tr0per: Is slightly hurt. Has an evil sword. Has armor with weak points. In a 4 floor dungeon
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Is a giant white tiger. Is very badly hurt. Has a summoned injured Eastern Green Dragon, a summoned barely injured Black Turtle, a summoned slightly injured Red Phoenix
dragonman7887: Is hurt. Is a yellow dragonman. Has a Baby Pink Dragon.
CABL: Is a giant eagle made of fire.
Coolrune206: Is pancaked. Has a flame of rejuvination
Dustan Hache: Is dead, is a Muscle Wizard
King Zultan: Is a kobold cannibal.
KitRougard: Is a Baby Purple Dragon. Is missing part of his soul.
Lenglon: Can turn into Magnetic Snakeman! Can use plasma balls relatively safely. Is dead.
methylatedspirit: Has a Geo-glider and a Geo-spear. Has a magical fire extinguisher.
MonkeyMarkMario: Might get reinforcements
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Rockeater: Is very badly hurt.
Tyrant Leviathan: Is slightly hurt.
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is a Litwick. Is slightly hurt. Is sick.
There still a few Magnetic Snakes here and there
There is a dragon hoarde here
Part of the arena is on fire
Super Muscle Wizard (Barely hurt)
Fledgling Cleric
Flaming Psionic Phantom
4 Floor Dungeon: F1 - Room with treasure box
Pink Dragon: 4255/5000 HP.
Super Gold Golem: 300/400 HP.
Kobold: 56 remaining (2 fainted)
Kobold Soul: 41 remaining
Now I'll annihilate all the intruders with a Super Fire Breath attack!
Roll 1: You breathe fire, but only hit the intruders who were trying to help you!
Alright, try and fuse again into the Rainbow Chimera.
Roll 6: Okay, I guess you are a Rainbow Chimera now. Not the rainbow chimera, but a chimera that is rainbow. (The GM couldn't find your reference with a quick google search and certainly isn't spending more than 5 minutes trying)
Point that gold is an easily malleable golem and thus a bad choice of material for a golem. Proceed to tear it apart with my tiny wax arms.
Roll 3: You point out that gold is not a very solid material to make a golem out of, and this is true. However it turns out that wax is also pretty easily malleable and you only cause 6 damage.
Shit armor is better than none.
>Open the treasure box and try to find something important, like a bloodthirsting katana with a blue blade, which is what I raided the dungeon for. If I find said sword, leave the dungeon as that's all I'll need for it.
Roll 2: You open the treasure box... And its EMPTY! What kind of third rate dungeon is this? There is a door to the east and west.
"What do you mean 'ArE yOu SuRe ThIs Is WiSe'?" I mock the GM, totally not testing fate. "My rejuvenation flame should sustain me through the effects of the radiation and burn away cancerous growths! I sacrificed like seven humans for this!"
Extract a large quantity of uranium and go about acquiring an enrichment chamber.
Roll 2: Unfortunately, you don't have any equipment for mining; let alone uranium enrichment.
Finish my opponent with second charge
In Pink Dragon holy name
Roll 6: I do not know what you mean by "my opponent". Because this was unclear and you got a good roll, the Pink Dragon's failed attack didn't hit you.
Find a good place to land. If found, attempt to land.
Roll 3: You find a spot to land, but stub your toe in doing so.
The Dwarfs are tough to find apparently.
See about my reinforcements and keep looking for Dwarfs to help in this fight.
Roll 5: A group of five dwarven salarymen come to assist you!
My fast digging proves I am a mole, call my mole friends to attack the dragon
Roll 1: Apparantly your fast digging proves that you are a mole. Some moles show up to arrest you, mistaking for you for a wanted mole criminal!
Spread the fire via magic, hopefully covering the whole arena in fire.
Roll 5: You expand the fire a fair amount. What are you going to do with it?
Eat dead kobolds and humans until I grow into a bigger kobold.
Roll 1: The dead kobolds and humans have gone bad, and you start to feel sick!
Ugh. Just feed the kobold souls to my Pink Dragon.
Roll 3: You try feeding some kobold souls to your baby Pink Dragon. It doesn't seem to like kobold souls very much.
0cra_tr0per: Is slightly hurt. Has an evil sword. Has armor with weak points. In a 4 floor dungeon
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: Is a rainbow chimera.
dragonman7887: Is hurt. Is a yellow dragonman. Has a Baby Pink Dragon.
CABL: Is a giant eagle made of fire.
Coolrune206: Is pancaked. Has a flame of rejuvination
Dustan Hache: Is dead, is a Muscle Wizard
King Zultan: Is a kobold cannibal. Is sick.
KitRougard: Is a Baby Purple Dragon. Is missing part of his soul.
Lenglon: Can turn into Magnetic Snakeman! Can use plasma balls relatively safely. Is dead.
methylatedspirit: Has a Geo-glider and a Geo-spear. Has a magical fire extinguisher.
MonkeyMarkMario: Has 5 dwarven salarymen to assist
NJW2000: Is badly hurt
Rockeater: Is very badly hurt.
Tyrant Leviathan: Is slightly hurt.
Yoink: In posession of 2 sniper rifles
ziizo: Is a Litwick. Is slightly hurt. Is sick.
There still a few Magnetic Snakes here and there
There is a dragon hoarde here
Part of the arena is on fire
Super Muscle Wizard (Barely hurt)
Fledgling Cleric
Flaming Psionic Phantom
Mole Police x5
4 Floor Dungeon: F1 - Door to east and west
Pink Dragon: 4255/5000 HP.
Super Gold Golem: 294/400 HP.
Kobold: 56 remaining (2 fainted)
Kobold Soul: 38 remaining