Is this multiplayer or suggestion? If the former I'm going to enter and try to raise my kid more or less like a decent human being; if the latter, I'm going to pretend this thread doesn't exist.
OUR CHILD IS ACTUALLY A FRESHLY MADE AI. WE DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED. WE CAN'T EVEN OPERATE A PRINTER.+1. It's name shall be F4ER21
Our kid's name is Coral, possibly because we're a hippy or something. She's a thin, waifish baby with pink hair, possibly because we got it on with a crayon or something.
+ 1 for hippie parentingOur kid's name is Coral, possibly because we're a hippy or something. She's a thin, waifish baby with pink hair, possibly because we got it on with a crayon or something.
Far out, maan.
...Oh, and yeah, +1.
Okay. Bye.
Oh yes.+1
The boy shall be named Grate.
Our kid's name is Coral, possibly because we're a hippy or something. She's a thin, waifish baby with pink hair, possibly because we got it on with a crayon or something.+1
+1 name the child Grate Worm Gold.+1
+1+1 name the child Grate Worm Gold.+1
Name her Urist. We're going to turn the girl into a broken psychopath, might as well give her the name of one.
Alternatively, Future President of Everything or Doomed.
-1 to AI Idea.
I want grandchildren.
-1 to AI Idea.Dude. Copy paste.
I want grandchildren.
-1 to AI Idea.Dude. Copy paste.
I want grandchildren.
Take one AI.-1 to AI Idea.Dude. Copy paste.
I want grandchildren.
?
Teach it 12100 digits of Pi. Not the first 12100 digits either, 1628th to 13728th digits.
Take a sailing trip out into the sea, and cast him overboard in a box. Wait for him to return home, wearing darkened goggles all the while.Guys... he's a baby we cant do that until he's twelve. Let's take him to daycare and let the bullies rank him up in Cynicismish.
Why not?Teach it 12100 digits of Pi. Not the first 12100 digits either, 1628th to 13728th digits.Take a sailing trip out into the sea, and cast him overboard in a box. Wait for him to return home, wearing darkened goggles all the while.Guys... he's a baby we cant do that until he's twelve. Let's take him to daycare and let the bullies rank him up in Cynicismish.
He walked into the tower and saw Danae with a baby on her lap, smiling she said, "I have named him Perseus." Acrisius was furious, he shut Danae and baby Perseus up in a large chest and cast them out to sea.
Well I find it rather unlikely that Poseidon will take pity on him and even if he does our son will have no memory of us and would probobly never come back. As for Pi a most sixteen-year-olds couldn't do that much less a one-year-old.Why not?Teach it 12100 digits of Pi. Not the first 12100 digits either, 1628th to 13728th digits.Take a sailing trip out into the sea, and cast him overboard in a box. Wait for him to return home, wearing darkened goggles all the while.Guys... he's a baby we cant do that until he's twelve. Let's take him to daycare and let the bullies rank him up in Cynicismish.Quote from: The myth of PerseusHe walked into the tower and saw Danae with a baby on her lap, smiling she said, "I have named him Perseus." Acrisius was furious, he shut Danae and baby Perseus up in a large chest and cast them out to sea.
Mix red bull and vodka into his baby milk formula stuff and feed that to him for a while.FUCK YEAH! +1 We are terrible, terrible people, aren't we?
Rescue neurotic puppies with violent behavioral problems from the pound, have them live in the same room, sleep in the same bed, and eat from the same food as Grate.This is brilliant. And cost effective.
Rescue neurotic puppies with violent behavioral problems from the pound, have them live in the same room, sleep in the same bed, and eat from the same food as Grate.
>Buy him some nice toys, including a little blue teddy bear and a xylophone, and a fun assortment of board-books.Are your trying to make our son a wimp!?!?!?!?!
>Take him to the museum to look at DINOSAURS RAAAWR.
Is there a motion to charge with lack of Bay 12 spirit?>Buy him some nice toys, including a little blue teddy bear and a xylophone, and a fun assortment of board-books.Are your trying to make our son a wimp!?!?!?!?!
>Take him to the museum to look at DINOSAURS RAAAWR.
>Buy him some nice toys, including a little blue teddy bear and a xylophone, and a fun assortment of board-books.-1, unless we then burn them. As for your other suggestion, it isn't a horrible idea, but I think we should go with one of the other suggestions instead. Remaining neutral on it.
Oh don't worry, knowing Bay12, it's to lull him into a sense of false security before the toys are stuffed with used syringes, the xylophone gets rigged with touch-powder and the books sprinkled with anthrax.Is there a motion to charge with lack of Bay 12 spirit?>Buy him some nice toys, including a little blue teddy bear and a xylophone, and a fun assortment of board-books.Are your trying to make our son a wimp!?!?!?!?!
>Take him to the museum to look at DINOSAURS RAAAWR.
Bathe him in classic rock music to prevent possible stupid tastes.+1 this.
That would kill him! We just want to make him amazing!Oh don't worry, knowing Bay12, it's to lull him into a sense of false security before the toys are stuffed with used syringes, the xylophone gets rigged with touch-powder and the books sprinkled with anthrax.Is there a motion to charge with lack of Bay 12 spirit?>Buy him some nice toys, including a little blue teddy bear and a xylophone, and a fun assortment of board-books.Are your trying to make our son a wimp!?!?!?!?!
>Take him to the museum to look at DINOSAURS RAAAWR.
Bathe him in classic rock music to prevent possible stupid tastes.
When he grows up listening to Certain Pop Stars, don't blame me.Bathe him in classic rock music to prevent possible stupid tastes.
Hahaha.
Fuck you man.
When he grows up listening to Certain Pop Stars, don't blame me.Bathe him in classic rock music to prevent possible stupid tastes.
Hahaha.
Fuck you man.
Is personal taste, man. There are a lot of people who like classic rock music. And a lot of the same people who don't care for rap music. And most of the current generation of People Doing Stuff fall under these classifications.When he grows up listening to Certain Pop Stars, don't blame me.Bathe him in classic rock music to prevent possible stupid tastes.
Hahaha.
Fuck you man.
I'd rather that than have him be the 70,000th person I've met trying to convince me that Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd are messiahs of music, and that I'm stupid because I listen to Rap.
/TCMhavingissueswiththistypeofthinginthepastmanytimes
Is this game fully realistic or is there some sci if and magic around?It has rule of cool! In other words, yes, you can have your baby get in ballroom brawls.
please be magic please have magic please have magic...
That rule is universal.
Explain to him the meaning of life by repeatedly slamming his forehead into a Theological History college level course book. Excessively, but not too damaging. He needs to thrive.+1
Explain to him the meaning of life by repeatedly slamming his forehead into aTheological History college level course bookcopy of The Call of Cthulu. Excessively, but not too damaging. He needs to thrive.
Inoculate him against potential biological warfare agents such as anthrax and ebola. Do so by injecting him with attenuated strains of each bacteria/virus.
Next Bruce Lee?He will not be ready until he makes Chuck Norris cry with feelings of de-masculinity.
+1Inoculate him against potential biological warfare agents such as anthrax and ebola. Do so by injecting him with attenuated strains of each bacteria/virus.+1
Force Grate to watch Kung Fu movies and to train. He must become strong!I'll +1 this.
Exactly what stat is this raising though? Also getting hold of viruses is expensive. And illegal. So even more expensive.+1Inoculate him against potential biological warfare agents such as anthrax and ebola. Do so by injecting him with attenuated strains of each bacteria/virus.+1
Force Grate to watch Kung Fu movies and to train. He must become strong!I'll +1 this.
Btw, is it possible we could accidently kill our kid before he even reaches 16? Or is it that no matter what hell we put him through he'll still be alive. Crippled or maimed, but alive.
+1Force Grate to watch Kung Fu movies and to train. He must become strong!I'll +1 this.
+1
('This message brought to you to say E/D would prevent and call the police on anyone who would attempt to do this to their toddler In real life and has full knowledge of the dangers if, rhetorically, he or she decided to try to do this, and also has full knowledge there isn't anything in real life called boot camp for toddlers, that would be stupid.)This is Bay12.
Determinational. Namely, keeping the will to live despite having their parent inject them with a weakened dose of anthrax.Exactly what stat is this raising though? Also getting hold of viruses is expensive. And illegal. So even more expensive.+1Inoculate him against potential biological warfare agents such as anthrax and ebola. Do so by injecting him with attenuated strains of each bacteria/virus.+1
+1+1Force Grate to watch Kung Fu movies and to train. He must become strong!I'll +1 this.
+1
+1Inoculate him against potential biological warfare agents such as anthrax and ebola. Do so by injecting him with attenuated strains of each bacteria/virus.+1
Also give him gun-chucks, basically two straight barrel handguns with no grips connected by chains on the back, gun-fu needs to be taught dammit!I see your gun-chucks and I raise you:
Make them unloaded however, giving loaded guns to a baby just isn't right.
>At least get the poor kid a teddy bear. A mechanized one, programmed to spout the occasional motivational phrase and slap him around when he's feeling sorry for himself.Though this should totally be the next turn.
Also give him gun-chucks, basically two straight barrel handguns with no grips connected by chains on the back, gun-fu needs to be taught dammit!I see your gun-chucks and I raise you:
Make them unloaded however, giving loaded guns to a baby just isn't right.Our child shall channel the spirit of the greatest qualities of Black Mage, Red Mage, Fighter, and Thief. From BM he shall take a lust for chaos and death untold. From RM he shall take the ingeniousness to put it into action. From Fighter he shall take the necessary awesomeness to pull off anything along these lines. From Thief he will take the legal expertise to not only get persecuted for his probably countless crimes, but get the victim imprisoned via law ninjas.Spoiler: Sword chucks, yo! (click to show/hide)
+101Also give him gun-chucks, basically two straight barrel handguns with no grips connected by chains on the back, gun-fu needs to be taught dammit!I see your gun-chucks and I raise you:
Make them unloaded however, giving loaded guns to a baby just isn't right.Our child shall channel the spirit of the greatest qualities of Black Mage, Red Mage, Fighter, and Thief. From BM he shall take a lust for chaos and death untold. From RM he shall take the ingeniousness to put it into action. From Fighter he shall take the necessary awesomeness to pull off anything along these lines. From Thief he will take the legal expertise to not only get persecuted for his probably countless crimes, but get the victim imprisoned via law ninjas.Spoiler: Sword chucks, yo! (click to show/hide)
+100
+1. Got to remember to honor the dark gods.
>Sacrifice a dear to Hecate Goddess of Witchcraft to bless your son with "The Gift".
ok, we need to feed the kid a lot of meat. This gives him a good amount of protein. Which is great for development, including joints and the brain.Thus hunting. Good joints and magical abilities it's a win-win situation.
We could also try ambushing him at every time, playful torturing. like those kitties do, trap him with your arms as well. Or we could just have him watch large amounts of vicious videos of roman gladiator combat.Good idea. Teach the kid about ancient tactics, so he can grow up as Alexander the Great.
The time in Gaul he built a fortress around the enemy's fortress?maybe, is it the one where an army came to relive that fortress?
+1. Got to remember to honor the dark gods.
>Sacrifice a dear to Hecate Goddess of Witchcraft to bless your son with "The Gift".
I'll give you a hint it's bestowed by the Goddess of Magic.+1. Got to remember to honor the dark gods.
>Sacrifice a dear to Hecate Goddess of Witchcraft to bless your son with "The Gift".
+1. Considering Bay12, this is probably one of the least detrimental actions that can be performed in a turn...
Of course, I don't know what this 'gift' is...but whatever it is, it is probably better than baptizing the child into the faith of Armok.
And the underworld. And ghosts. So there's at least a decent chance of our child acquiring psychic mind powers. Would be a shame if he didn't have access to mind bullets, after all.I'll give you a hint it's bestowed by the Goddess of Magic.+1. Got to remember to honor the dark gods.
>Sacrifice a dear to Hecate Goddess of Witchcraft to bless your son with "The Gift".
+1. Considering Bay12, this is probably one of the least detrimental actions that can be performed in a turn...
Of course, I don't know what this 'gift' is...but whatever it is, it is probably better than baptizing the child into the faith of Armok.
>At least get the poor kid a teddy bear. A mechanized one, programmed to spout the occasional motivational phrase and slap him around when he's feeling sorry for himself.
Sacrifice a goat to Hecate now!Alright, +1
The underworld is Hades' domain.And the underworld. And ghosts. So there's at least a decent chance of our child acquiring psychic mind powers. Would be a shame if he didn't have access to mind bullets, after all.I'll give you a hint it's bestowed by the Goddess of Magic.+1. Got to remember to honor the dark gods.
>Sacrifice a dear to Hecate Goddess of Witchcraft to bless your son with "The Gift".
+1. Considering Bay12, this is probably one of the least detrimental actions that can be performed in a turn...
Of course, I don't know what this 'gift' is...but whatever it is, it is probably better than baptizing the child into the faith of Armok.
Nah a goat would cost too much. How about our neighbor's dog?Sacrifice a goat to Hecate now!Alright, +1
force the child to sacrifice a goat to Hecate!+1
>At least get the poor kid a teddy bear. A mechanized one, programmed to spout the occasional motivational phrase and slap him around when he's feeling sorry for himself.
This one right here.
+1force the child to sacrifice a goat to Hecate!+1
Now you`re thinking with trauma!
Obviously we are both parents.Oh, duh. That's actually really obvious. Sociopaths and sociopaths make another sociopath. Make sure to tell stories to the kid about how much harsher our parents were.
Force the newborn to sacrifice the neighbor's dog or a goat.That teaches nothing, and he's not even strong enough to use a knife to cut flesh.
2006? Also, RIP?Okay. Bye.NAME THE CHILD GWG IN POST-MORTUM HONOR.
R.I.P. GREATWYRMGOLD
2006-2014
You hold the baby over your head like a baboon with a baby lion...Don't try this at home with your newborn. They can't support their heads yet.
Unusually horrible (and usually stupid) suggestionsYou'll raise a fantastic corpse at this rate. And not even a very big one.
We are terrible, terrible people, aren't we?Yes. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
We're trying to unlock his potential not kill him!Such can be said for most of your ideas.
Bathe him in classic rock music to prevent possible stupid tastes.Finally, a reasonable suggestion!
>Buy him some nice toys, including a little blue teddy bear and a xylophone, and a fun assortment of board-books....
>Take him to the museum to look at DINOSAURS RAAAWR.
I'd rather that than have him be the 70,000th person I've met trying to convince me that Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd are messiahs of music, and that I'm stupid because I listen to Rap.Now, now, you're not stupid because you listen to rap.
Btw, is it possible we could accidently kill our kid before he even reaches 16? Or is it that no matter what hell we put him through he'll still be alive. Crippled or maimed, but alive.At this rate, crippled and maimed is about the best possible outcome.
Exactly what stat is this raising though?Deadness?
>At least get the poor kid a teddy bear.+1
A mechanized one, programmed to spout the occasional motivational phrase and slap him around when he's feeling sorry for himself....
"Poketwo, how dare you bring logic int this place!"Wait, that counted as logic?
Point.+1. Considering Bay12, this is probably one of the least detrimental actions that can be performed in a turn...+1. Got to remember to honor the dark gods.
>Sacrifice a dear to Hecate Goddess of Witchcraft to bless your son with "The Gift".
Of course, I don't know what this 'gift' is...but whatever it is, it is probably better than baptizing the child into the faith of Armok.
[....]God you guys are horrible.Hey, I just wanted to give your namesake a puppy.
piecewise mentioning the kid was named for me drove me back here. Let's see what madness and horror you have inflicted on him. I mean, aside from a name suited more for a forum than real life."Poketwo, how dare you bring logic int this place!"Wait, that counted as logic?
These.
:ok, we need to feed the kid a lot of meat. This gives him a good amount of protein. Which is great for development, including joints and the brain.
:We could also try ambushing him at every time, playful torturing. like those kitties do, trap him with your arms as well.
the playful one will not hurt the kid, but provide a challenge of tactics, but I had to Bay12-ifi the other parts of the suggestions
:Now HOW to feed him that stuff is the question. Should we grind it, or do what the birds do?
:Or we could just have him watch large amounts of vicious videos of roman gladiator combat.
their you go.
+1force the child to sacrifice a goat to Hecate!+1
Now you`re thinking with trauma!
But we should use the neighbor's dog if we don't want to go broke.
To get some more money, we should have him perform in some sort of embarrassing advertisement. I don't expect we'll get stat growths from it immediately, but we can save a copy to humiliate him in front of his peers. That's a stat, right? Even if it's not, do it anyway.
He shares it with other minor gods. For example, Thanatos is there too.The underworld is Hades' domain.And the underworld. And ghosts. So there's at least a decent chance of our child acquiring psychic mind powers. Would be a shame if he didn't have access to mind bullets, after all.I'll give you a hint it's bestowed by the Goddess of Magic.+1. Got to remember to honor the dark gods.
>Sacrifice a dear to Hecate Goddess of Witchcraft to bless your son with "The Gift".
+1. Considering Bay12, this is probably one of the least detrimental actions that can be performed in a turn...
Of course, I don't know what this 'gift' is...but whatever it is, it is probably better than baptizing the child into the faith of Armok.
Give them a closet full of sets of clothing. Half normal, the other half cosplay. Act like an abusive prick when they wear the normal ones. Act incredibly kind and compassionate when they were the cosplay. Continue until conditioning is successful.To get some more money, we should have him perform in some sort of embarrassing advertisement. I don't expect we'll get stat growths from it immediately, but we can save a copy to humiliate him in front of his peers. That's a stat, right? Even if it's not, do it anyway.
You know, I wonder what actions would be needed to get the kid to become a full out cosplayer by the age of 5.
YOU SACRIFICE THE DOG TO THE GODS OF BUSINESS! MAY THEY GIVE YOUR SON THEIR BLESSINGS AND A MERCIFULLY QUICK DEATH ONCE THEY RETURN TO DO NON-EUCLIDEAN BUSINESS!+1force the child to sacrifice a goat to Hecate!+1
Now you`re thinking with trauma!
But we should use the neighbor's dog if we don't want to go broke.
+1
We should OBVIOUSLY use a dog.
Dear god that awesome.We are trying to make a maladjusted violent sociopath here, not a monster.
set him up with stocks in some relatively low risk areas and give him 'babies first stock market' so he can learn, then also give him a tie and a suit, suits for the business god and all that.
I can already see the news articles about this. "Bay12 Forums raises a baby!"Followed by the subtitle "oh god no, shut this place down and leave, just go before your soul is tainted also, this place is not for the human mind."
Negotiate with Satan and sell the child's soul for more money. IT MUST BE DONE.-1 We may need that for something later!
Negotiate with Satan and sell the child's soul for more money. IT MUST BE DONE.-1
Okay, I guess I'll concede that the kid might be too young to be embarrassed by anything we make them do at this point. But we still need some money, so let's sign the kid up for some experimental drugs!!+1!!and/or behavioral studies. The more untested the better.
Negotiate with Satan and sell the child's soul for more money. IT MUST BE DONE.
Okay, I guess I'll concede that the kid might be too young to be embarrassed by anything we make them do at this point. But we still need some money, so let's sign the kid up for some experimental drugs!!+1!!and/or behavioral studies. The more untested the better.
YOU SACRIFICE THE DOG TO THE GODS OF BUSINESS!What? We were supposed to sacrifice the dog to Hecate, give our kid magic!
Also why can't I stop laughing at GWG's post telling us we can't raise a kid? Well... correctly?I think I've given up on making the kid un-traumatized and am now focused on minmizing the trauma:awesome ratio.
-1 to basically everything suggested.
set him up with stocks in some relatively low risk areas and give him 'babies first stock market' so he can learn, then give them a closet full of sets of clothing. Half normal, the other half Homestuck, Doctor Who, and Sherlock cosplay. Act normally towards the child when they wear the normal ones. Act incredibly kind and compassionate when they were the cosplay. Continue until conditioning is successful.
Fuck it, here's a command.
Sacrifice Hecate to Grate.
+1 to beginner stocks and suits/ties
Correct. I do not.-1 to basically everything suggested.You don't like this:set him up with stocks in some relatively low risk areas and give him 'babies first stock market' so he can learn, then give them a closet full of sets of clothing. Half normal, the other half Homestuck, Doctor Who, and Sherlock cosplay. Act normally towards the child when they wear the normal ones. Act incredibly kind and compassionate when they were the cosplay. Continue until conditioning is successful.
Fuck it, here's a command.How the hell...What do you...Why would we...
Sacrifice Hecate to Grate.
+ALL THE ONESFuck it, here's a command....+1
Sacrifice Hecate to Grate.
+111111111111+ALL THE ONESFuck it, here's a command....+1
Sacrifice Hecate to Grate.
Fuck it, here's a command.Ignore my mugging Suggestion, I wanna +1 this!
Sacrifice Hecate to Grate.
set him up with stocks in some relatively low risk areas and give him 'babies first stock market' so he can learn, then give them a closet full of sets of clothing. Half normal, the other half Homestuck, Doctor Who, and Sherlock cosplay. Act normally towards the child when they wear the normal ones. Act incredibly kind and compassionate when they were the cosplay. Continue until conditioning is successful.This.
+1+111111111111+ALL THE ONESFuck it, here's a command....+1
Sacrifice Hecate to Grate.
Ignore my mugging Suggestion, I wanna +1 this!
Ignore my mugging Suggestion
mugging Suggestion
mugging
mug
oh gods so many hilarious choices what do what dooooooooooSuffer a psychotic break? (Y/N)
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYoh gods so many hilarious choices what do what dooooooooooSuffer a psychotic break? (Y/N)
I have nothing to say to this suggestion and it's overwhelming support. Except +1.+1+111111111111+ALL THE ONESFuck it, here's a command....+1
Sacrifice Hecate to Grate.
Yoh gods so many hilarious choices what do what dooooooooooSuffer a psychotic break? (Y/N)
+1I have nothing to say to this suggestion and it's overwhelming support. Except +1.+1+111111111111+ALL THE ONESFuck it, here's a command....+1
Sacrifice Hecate to Grate.
+1set him up with stocks in some relatively low risk areas and give him 'babies first stock market' so he can learn, then give them a closet full of sets of clothing. Half normal, the other half Magical Girl cosplay. Act normally towards the child when they wear the normal ones. Act incredibly kind and compassionate when they were the cosplay. Continue until conditioning is successful.This.
All hail Grate, Dark Lord of Management!
+1+1I have nothing to say to this suggestion and it's overwhelming support. Except +1.+1+111111111111+ALL THE ONESFuck it, here's a command....+1
Sacrifice Hecate to Grate.
Holy shit that was awesome.+1
Congratulate Grate with a beating. To enhance his toughlinious.
Congratulate Grate
with a beating. To enhance his toughlinious.
Sacrificing is fun! What else can we sacrifice to our child?
Why just one? Why not give the whole Pantheon the axe?+1
Why just one? Why not givethe wholeall the Pantheons the axe?
Why just one? Why not give the whole Pantheon the axe?+1 Yes! Sacrifice them all to our baby boy, Grate!
Why just one? Why not give the whole Pantheon the axe?+1 Yes! Sacrifice them all to our baby boy, Grate!
Never mind waht I said! This one is the +1!Why just one? Why not givethe wholeall the Pantheons the axe?
FTFY
set him up with stocks in some relatively low risk areas and give him 'babies first stock market' so he can learn, then give them a closet full of sets of clothing. Half normal, the other half Magical Girl cosplay. Act normally towards the child when they wear the normal ones. Act incredibly kind and compassionate when they were the cosplay. Continue until conditioning is successful.+1
+1Never mind waht I said! This one is the +1!Why just one? Why not givethe wholeall the Pantheons the axe?
FTFY
YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO DO THAT!
PAYING SHADY MEN TO KIDNAP GODS IS EXPENSIVE!
YOU HAVE A BITTA CHANGE!!
YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO DO THAT!
PAYING SHADY MEN TO KIDNAP GODS IS EXPENSIVE!
YOU HAVE A BITTA CHANGE!!
Aww.... guess we'll have to do that next year....
Teach Blake how to mug people I mean make us money I mean social skills!
>Steal Grate a teddy bear from the nearest charity store, 'cause we're too broke to actually buy one.+1
...Actually no, make him steal it. Training!
+1Congratulate Grate+1with a beating. To enhance his toughlinious.-1
Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.+1
+1+1Congratulate Grate+1with a beating. To enhance his toughlinious.-1Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.+1
Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.That doesn't sound so bad.... still I him to mug people.
The play dates could involve mugging people. Think of the hilarity of having her being forced on a date with the person who she got sacrificed to and had her blood drank by!Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.That doesn't sound so bad.... still I him to mug people.
+1Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.+1
Hm...... +1 as long as the play date involves mugging then!The play dates could involve mugging people. Think of the hilarity of having her being forced on a date with the person who she got sacrificed to and had her blood drank by!Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.That doesn't sound so bad.... still I him to mug people.
Imagine what would happen if we combined experimental drugs with a baby that just ingested some godseed(s)!Okay, I guess I'll concede that the kid might be too young to be embarrassed by anything we make them do at this point. But we still need some money, so let's sign the kid up for some experimental drugs!!+1!!and/or behavioral studies. The more untested the better.
Oh surviving gods, what are you trying to do?Imagine what would happen if we combined experimental drugs with a baby that just ingested some godseed(s)!Okay, I guess I'll concede that the kid might be too young to be embarrassed by anything we make them do at this point. But we still need some money, so let's sign the kid up for some experimental drugs!!+1!!and/or behavioral studies. The more untested the better.
She'd probably be good at it. And a good influence for teaching him his divine powers.The play dates could involve mugging people. Think of the hilarity of having her being forced on a date with the person who she got sacrificed to and had her blood drank by!Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.That doesn't sound so bad.... still I him to mug people.
Well... I'm not exactly sure how divine his powers are... considering we killed a god to give him.... whatever he got. Godkilling doesn't sound very divine.She'd probably be good at it. And a good influence for teaching him his divine powers.The play dates could involve mugging people. Think of the hilarity of having her being forced on a date with the person who she got sacrificed to and had her blood drank by!Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.That doesn't sound so bad.... still I him to mug people.
Zeus killed Kronos to become king of the gods. And Kronos did that to Ouranos.Well... I'm not exactly sure how divine his powers are... considering we killed a god to give him.... whatever he got. Godkilling doesn't sound very divine.She'd probably be good at it. And a good influence for teaching him his divine powers.The play dates could involve mugging people. Think of the hilarity of having her being forced on a date with the person who she got sacrificed to and had her blood drank by!Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.That doesn't sound so bad.... still I him to mug people.
Zeus killed Kronos to become king of the gods. And Kronos did that to Ouranos.
Yep. All hail Lord Grate!Zeus killed Kronos to become king of the gods. And Kronos did that to Ouranos.
And if we have our way, Zeus will fall to Grate.
set him up with stocks in some relatively low risk areas and give him 'babies first stock market' so he can learn, then give them a closet full of sets of clothing. Half normal, the other half Doctor Who cosplay. Act normally towards the child when they wear the normal ones. Act incredibly kind and compassionate when they were the cosplay. Continue until conditioning is successful.
+1 for reviving Hecate and sending her and Grate on play-dates mugging people with magic economics, otherwise known as laissez-faire capitalism.Hm...... +1 as long as the play date involves mugging then!The play dates could involve mugging people. Think of the hilarity of having her being forced on a date with the person who she got sacrificed to and had her blood drank by!Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.That doesn't sound so bad.... still I him to mug people.
+1+1 for reviving Hecate and sending her and Grate on play-dates mugging people with magic economics, otherwise known as laissez-faire capitalism.Hm...... +1 as long as the play date involves mugging then!The play dates could involve mugging people. Think of the hilarity of having her being forced on a date with the person who she got sacrificed to and had her blood drank by!Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.That doesn't sound so bad.... still I him to mug people.
This is actually a pretty good idea. +1set him up with stocks in some relatively low risk areas and give him 'babies first stock market' so he can learn, then give them a closet full of sets of clothing. Half normal, the other half Doctor Who cosplay. Act normally towards the child when they wear the normal ones. Act incredibly kind and compassionate when they were the cosplay. Continue until conditioning is successful.
+1
Also holy shit
Why not?This is actually a pretty good idea. +1set him up with stocks in some relatively low risk areas and give him 'babies first stock market' so he can learn, then give them a closet full of sets of clothing. Half normal, the other half Doctor Who cosplay. Act normally towards the child when they wear the normal ones. Act incredibly kind and compassionate when they were the cosplay. Continue until conditioning is successful.
+1
Also holy shit
+1+1 for reviving Hecate and sending her and Grate on play-dates mugging people with magic economics, otherwise known as laissez-faire capitalism.Hm...... +1 as long as the play date involves mugging then!The play dates could involve mugging people. Think of the hilarity of having her being forced on a date with the person who she got sacrificed to and had her blood drank by!Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.That doesn't sound so bad.... still I him to mug people.
By the way, if he is immortal now, we might have infinite time. After all, Greek ages of adulthood were younger, and immortals typically don't age beyond maturity.
Do that, and no more killing people or gods alright? We still have standards.+1+1 for reviving Hecate and sending her and Grate on play-dates mugging people with magic economics, otherwise known as laissez-faire capitalism.Hm...... +1 as long as the play date involves mugging then!The play dates could involve mugging people. Think of the hilarity of having her being forced on a date with the person who she got sacrificed to and had her blood drank by!Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.That doesn't sound so bad.... still I him to mug people.
By the way, if he is immortal now, we might have infinite time. After all, Greek ages of adulthood were younger, and immortals typically don't age beyond maturity.
Do that, and no more killing people or gods alright? We still have standards.
Me too buddy, me too, we just need to put some limits on what we would do, we can't ask piece wise about that because he's, well, piecewise, but no killing anyone or anything from now on, that seems a bit much, we can still do cool stuff with the kid but nothing like that.+1 this except for the controlling gods part. Let's leave gods before we end up smoten.
Of course, taking major gods and putting them under our control isn't to far out of bounds...
Dwarf fortress is fine for that, it's just that when GWG gets a bit disturbed who from what I can tell is a regular poster on this forum, gets disturbed, we might be doing something wrong.
Send our kid to learn ghost math.FTFY.
What would he learn in ghost math? Negative integers?Send our kid to learn ghost math.FTFY.
Who knows? That's what makes it fun!What would he learn in ghost math? Negative integers?Send our kid to learn ghost math.FTFY.
+1Do that, and no more killing people or gods alright? We still have standards.+1+1 for reviving Hecate and sending her and Grate on play-dates mugging people with magic economics, otherwise known as laissez-faire capitalism.Hm...... +1 as long as the play date involves mugging then!The play dates could involve mugging people. Think of the hilarity of having her being forced on a date with the person who she got sacrificed to and had her blood drank by!Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.That doesn't sound so bad.... still I him to mug people.
By the way, if he is immortal now, we might have infinite time. After all, Greek ages of adulthood were younger, and immortals typically don't age beyond maturity.
I just left to go play some X-COM, and I come back, and the Titaness of witchcraft has been sacrificed to the child.No, we just will give grate a nanny in the form of the titaness, it would karmic ally balance out killing her at first, and we could use her to get us money!
Give Grate a monocle.
How about we save some of the crazier things for when he's older?
At least we got the most traumatizing things over with now, so he might forget the details later on.
I mean, forced to listen to rock music? You guys are horrible.
How about we save some of the crazier things for when he's older?Fixed.
At least we got the most traumatizing things over with now, so he might forget the details later on.
I mean, forced to listen to rock music? You guys are trying to save his soul.
...then and then sacrifice science itself. Then we invent magic and sacrifice that too. At that point I guess we move on celebrities? And then random internet people. How about that plan of action?Increasingly insane.
Dwarf fortress is fine for that, it's just that when GWG gets a bit disturbed who from what I can tell is a regular poster on this forum, gets disturbed, we might be doing something wrong.I am the resident sane guy (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OnlySaneMan).
I just left to go play some X-COM, and I come back, and the Titaness of witchcraft has been sacrificed to the child.X-Com or XCOM?
I mean, forced to listen to rock music? You guys are horrible.Classic rock. We're not monsters, ya know.
Alright, how do I convince someone who's trying to traumatize the kid...Plus we won't have to pay for an Nanny either!
Nevermind, who'd pay someone to watch their kid when dark and empty houses does the job perfectly?
+1+1Do that, and no more killing people or gods alright? We still have standards.+1+1 for reviving Hecate and sending her and Grate on play-dates mugging people with magic economics, otherwise known as laissez-faire capitalism.Hm...... +1 as long as the play date involves mugging then!The play dates could involve mugging people. Think of the hilarity of having her being forced on a date with the person who she got sacrificed to and had her blood drank by!Revive Hecate to be the same age as Grate, have them go on play dates.That doesn't sound so bad.... still I him to mug people.
By the way, if he is immortal now, we might have infinite time. After all, Greek ages of adulthood were younger, and immortals typically don't age beyond maturity.
Ok revive for playmating, then we find some way for our child to make us money.*sniff*
Oh shit he's gonna pimp out Hecate isn't he?
Well, if we can't sacrifice science, we just sacrifice the scientists....That comes later. Religion first, then science.
SACRIFICE STEPHEN HAWKING TO GRATE and possibly other scientists and/or business tycoons.
Dammit, we can't sacrifice science! That doesn't make any sense!Well, if we can't sacrifice science, we just sacrifice the scientists....That comes later. Religion first, then science.
SACRIFICE STEPHEN HAWKING TO GRATE and possibly other scientists and/or business tycoons.
Rule Of Cool, GWG. I thought you knew tropes better than this.Dammit, we can't sacrifice science! That doesn't make any sense!Well, if we can't sacrifice science, we just sacrifice the scientists....That comes later. Religion first, then science.
SACRIFICE STEPHEN HAWKING TO GRATE and possibly other scientists and/or business tycoons.
I disagree. In several years we sacrifice Zeus to the god of science and atheism then one year after that we sacrifice him to Grate.Dammit, we can't sacrifice science! That doesn't make any sense!Well, if we can't sacrifice science, we just sacrifice the scientists....That comes later. Religion first, then science.
SACRIFICE STEPHEN HAWKING TO GRATE and possibly other scientists and/or business tycoons.
Yep. All hail Lord Grate!Zeus killed Kronos to become king of the gods. And Kronos did that to Ouranos.
And if we have our way, Zeus will fall to Grate.
Then after that, we can take on the Norse pantheon. Let him have Nidhogg as a pet.
Yeah, I saw TB play that.The only Nidhogg I'm familiar with is a 2-d fencing/american football/suicide game. Look it up, it's pretty fun.Yep. All hail Lord Grate!Zeus killed Kronos to become king of the gods. And Kronos did that to Ouranos.
And if we have our way, Zeus will fall to Grate.
Then after that, we can take on the Norse pantheon. Let him have Nidhogg as a pet.
Well, if we can't sacrifice science, we just sacrifice the scientists....
SACRIFICE STEPHEN HAWKING TO GRATE and possibly other scientists and/or business tycoons.
Rule Of Cool, GWG. I thought you knew tropes better than this.So? Why are tropes a good thing?
I disagree. In several years we sacrifice Zeus to the god of science and atheism then one year after that we sacrifice him to Grate.There is no God of Science and Atheism!
http://whfb.lexicanum.com/wiki/NecohoI disagree. In several years we sacrifice Zeus to the god of science and atheism then one year after that we sacrifice him to Grate.There is no God of Science and Atheism!
Focus, people! We have a future Evil CEO here- we need to make sure he looks the park!Quite true.
Evil business makeover! He must sport the look even now at his young age!
http://www.scientology.org/((Even less science.))
^No castration though, we need grandkids.
Making our baby an Unsullied gets a +1 from me.
You do not know me at all.Spoiler: GWG don't read this. (click to show/hide)
At the rate things are going, he'd need to be rapist to give us grandkids.^No castration though, we need grandkids.
Making our baby an Unsullied gets a +1 from me.
Nah, I'm sure he'll find a girl who thinks she can change him or something.So, is that our cue to try reviving Hecate again?
No, the undead cannot reproduce, and I doubt we'd have access to anything that could make her actually living again.Nah, I'm sure he'll find a girl who thinks she can change him or something.So, is that our cue to try reviving Hecate again?
I'm telling you, just sacrifice another god to her.No, the undead cannot reproduce, and I doubt we'd have access to anything that could make her actually living again.Nah, I'm sure he'll find a girl who thinks she can change him or something.So, is that our cue to try reviving Hecate again?
A roll of 5?No, the undead cannot reproduce, and I doubt we'd have access to anything that could make her actually living again.Nah, I'm sure he'll find a girl who thinks she can change him or something.So, is that our cue to try reviving Hecate again?
Focus, people! We have a future Evil CEO here- we need to make sure he looks the park!+1
Evil business makeover! He must sport the look even now at his young age!
Hecate can still be a playdate. She just won't move very much.This +1, leading into
Set Hecate's corpse up in Grate's room and forbid him from touching her until we're ready to try again at resurrection.
Wait.This when he's old enough to understand. Make sure to explain to him as he grows up that Hecate died for him, and that he owes it to her to use his powers of business management to generate a True Resurrection effect for her. Tell him to think of it as buying out a failed company and pumping enough capital into it that it becomes self-sustaining again.
If we get Grate to do it, do you think we could get a bonus to the roll?
Hecate can still be a playdate. She just won't move very much.This +1, leading into
Set Hecate's corpse up in Grate's room and forbid him from touching her until we're ready to try again at resurrection.Wait.This when he's old enough to understand. Make sure to explain to him as he grows up that Hecate died for him, and that he owes it to her to use his powers of business management to generate a True Resurrection effect for her. Tell him to think of it as buying out a failed company and pumping enough capital into it that it becomes self-sustaining again.
If we get Grate to do it, do you think we could get a bonus to the roll?
I putteth a 1+eth.Hecate can still be a playdate. She just won't move very much.This +1, leading into
Set Hecate's corpse up in Grate's room and forbid him from touching her until we're ready to try again at resurrection.Wait.This when he's old enough to understand. Make sure to explain to him as he grows up that Hecate died for him, and that he owes it to her to use his powers of business management to generate a True Resurrection effect for her. Tell him to think of it as buying out a failed company and pumping enough capital into it that it becomes self-sustaining again.
If we get Grate to do it, do you think we could get a bonus to the roll?
+1, A failed company that was one of your startup investors too.
Sacrifice Athena to Hecate to bring her back to life?Yeah both those things are great.Yeah, I saw TB play that.The only Nidhogg I'm familiar with is a 2-d fencing/american football/suicide game. Look it up, it's pretty fun.Yep. All hail Lord Grate!Zeus killed Kronos to become king of the gods. And Kronos did that to Ouranos.
And if we have our way, Zeus will fall to Grate.
Then after that, we can take on the Norse pantheon. Let him have Nidhogg as a pet.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Níđhöggr
+1Hecate can still be a playdate. She just won't move very much.This +1, leading into
Set Hecate's corpse up in Grate's room and forbid him from touching her until we're ready to try again at resurrection.Wait.This when he's old enough to understand. Make sure to explain to him as he grows up that Hecate died for him, and that he owes it to her to use his powers of business management to generate a True Resurrection effect for her. Tell him to think of it as buying out a failed company and pumping enough capital into it that it becomes self-sustaining again.
If we get Grate to do it, do you think we could get a bonus to the roll?
+1+1Hecate can still be a playdate. She just won't move very much.This +1, leading into
Set Hecate's corpse up in Grate's room and forbid him from touching her until we're ready to try again at resurrection.Wait.This when he's old enough to understand. Make sure to explain to him as he grows up that Hecate died for him, and that he owes it to her to use his powers of business management to generate a True Resurrection effect for her. Tell him to think of it as buying out a failed company and pumping enough capital into it that it becomes self-sustaining again.
If we get Grate to do it, do you think we could get a bonus to the roll?
Plus, helps teach him to to set up goals and strive for them... that does stat increasing stuff right? And also we should tell him over and over and over and over...... and over gain everything we do is to make him the best he can be... so he understands why we are actively trying to traumatize him.
+1Hecate can still be a playdate. She just won't move very much.This +1, leading into
Set Hecate's corpse up in Grate's room and forbid him from touching her until we're ready to try again at resurrection.Wait.This when he's old enough to understand. Make sure to explain to him as he grows up that Hecate died for him, and that he owes it to her to use his powers of business management to generate a True Resurrection effect for her. Tell him to think of it as buying out a failed company and pumping enough capital into it that it becomes self-sustaining again.
If we get Grate to do it, do you think we could get a bonus to the roll?
Plus, helps teach him to to set up goals and strive for them... that does stat increasing stuff right? And also we should tell him over and over and over and over...... and over gain everything we do is to make him the best he can be... so he understands why we are actively trying to traumatize him.
+1+1Hecate can still be a playdate. She just won't move very much.This +1, leading into
Set Hecate's corpse up in Grate's room and forbid him from touching her until we're ready to try again at resurrection.Wait.This when he's old enough to understand. Make sure to explain to him as he grows up that Hecate died for him, and that he owes it to her to use his powers of business management to generate a True Resurrection effect for her. Tell him to think of it as buying out a failed company and pumping enough capital into it that it becomes self-sustaining again.
If we get Grate to do it, do you think we could get a bonus to the roll?
Plus, helps teach him to to set up goals and strive for them... that does stat increasing stuff right? And also we should tell him over and over and over and over...... and over gain everything we do is to make him the best he can be... so he understands why we are actively trying to traumatize him.
+1
+6.28318530715938...+1+1Hecate can still be a playdate. She just won't move very much.This +1, leading into
Set Hecate's corpse up in Grate's room and forbid him from touching her until we're ready to try again at resurrection.Wait.This when he's old enough to understand. Make sure to explain to him as he grows up that Hecate died for him, and that he owes it to her to use his powers of business management to generate a True Resurrection effect for her. Tell him to think of it as buying out a failed company and pumping enough capital into it that it becomes self-sustaining again.
If we get Grate to do it, do you think we could get a bonus to the roll?
Plus, helps teach him to to set up goals and strive for them... that does stat increasing stuff right? And also we should tell him over and over and over and over...... and over gain everything we do is to make him the best he can be... so he understands why we are actively trying to traumatize him.
+1
+1Focus, people! We have a future Evil CEO here- we need to make sure he looks the park!+1
Evil business makeover! He must sport the look even now at his young age!
Sacrifice a stray puppy/kitten to the dark gods of business, specifically the ones involved with human resources to revive Hecate as a corporate lich!+1.
No, we must get a puppy to traumatize Grate by making him sacrifice it to himself in the future. You gotta think long-term.Or, have him fall in love with Hecate and then have him sacrifice her to himself in the future.
She's already been sacrificed; you can't sacrifice someone twice!No, we must get a puppy to traumatize Grate by making him sacrifice it to himself in the future. You gotta think long-term.Or, have him fall in love with Hecate and then have him sacrifice her to himself in the future.
Fine, get two puppies, sacrifice one to revive her secretly, give the other as a pet.She's already been sacrificed; you can't sacrifice someone twice!No, we must get a puppy to traumatize Grate by making him sacrifice it to himself in the future. You gotta think long-term.Or, have him fall in love with Hecate and then have him sacrifice her to himself in the future.
Oh?She's already been sacrificed; you can't sacrifice someone twice!No, we must get a puppy to traumatize Grate by making him sacrifice it to himself in the future. You gotta think long-term.Or, have him fall in love with Hecate and then have him sacrifice her to himself in the future.
Dammit guys! We need to enhance his STATS. Not random shit. Either:+1
SACRIFICE STEPHEN HAWKING TO GRATE
1+Dammit guys! We need to enhance his STATS. Not random shit. Either:+1
SACRIFICE STEPHEN HAWKING TO GRATE
+11+Dammit guys! We need to enhance his STATS. Not random shit. Either:+1
SACRIFICE STEPHEN HAWKING TO GRATE
+1+11+Dammit guys! We need to enhance his STATS. Not random shit. Either:+1
SACRIFICE STEPHEN HAWKING TO GRATE
1++11+Dammit guys! We need to enhance his STATS. Not random shit. Either:+1
SACRIFICE STEPHEN HAWKING TO GRATE
+11++11+Dammit guys! We need to enhance his STATS. Not random shit. Either:+1
SACRIFICE STEPHEN HAWKING TO GRATE
+1Sacrifice a stray puppy/kitten to the dark gods of business, specifically the ones involved with human resources to revive Hecate as a corporate lich!+1.
Focus, people! We have a future Evil CEO here- we need to make sure he looks the park!
Evil business makeover! He must sport the look even now at his young age!
ENROLL GRATE IN TODDLER RUGBY TO INCREASE SPORTINESSIf he's old enough for rugby, I think we should enroll him in taekwondo. Or whatever other martial art people would prefer.
Gun-fu?ENROLL GRATE IN TODDLER RUGBY TO INCREASE SPORTINESSIf he's old enough for rugby, I think we should enroll him in taekwondo. Or whatever other martial art people would prefer.
+11++11+Dammit guys! We need to enhance his STATS. Not random shit. Either:+1
SACRIFICE STEPHEN HAWKING TO GRATE
Ohai BFEL didn't see you thar. Hope STEPHEN HAWKING in ER doesn't find out about this from his meta powers.He already knows.
Well it appears he has manipulated himself into being sacrificed. >:DYou forget that GRATE IS HIS SON! MEANING YOU ARE STEPHEN HAWKING, AND HAVE SACRIFICED YOURSELF!
I don't quite follow this logic train.Well it appears he has manipulated himself into being sacrificed. >:DYou forget that GRATE IS HIS SON! MEANING YOU ARE STEPHEN HAWKING, AND HAVE SACRIFICED YOURSELF!
I don't quite follow this logic train.Well it appears he has manipulated himself into being sacrificed. >:DYou forget that GRATE IS HIS SON! MEANING YOU ARE STEPHEN HAWKING, AND HAVE SACRIFICED YOURSELF!
In ER, GWG's char is named Grate. STEPHEN HAWKING is Grate's new dad due to quantum shenanigans. Thus, clearly this Grate must ALSO be STEPHEN HAWKING's son. And thus what Whitius pointed out.I don't quite follow this logic train.Well it appears he has manipulated himself into being sacrificed. >:DYou forget that GRATE IS HIS SON! MEANING YOU ARE STEPHEN HAWKING, AND HAVE SACRIFICED YOURSELF!
As long as we don't reference Einsteinian Roulette, we should be fine.Sacrifice Stephen Hawking to Doctor Von Nost!
PROCEED WITH SACRIFICE. SCIENTISTS FOR THE SCIENCE GODS.
+1. You misspelled his name by the way.As long as we don't reference Einsteinian Roulette, we should be fine.Sacrifice STEPHEN HAWKING to Doctor Von Nost!
PROCEED WITH SACRIFICE. SCIENTISTS FOR THE SCIENCE GODS.
STEPHEN HAWKING is Grate's new dad due to quantum shenanigans.By his own claims. He's been a bit absentee. Even more so than Jim, which is remarkable since Jim's player stopped playing.
Recruit band of orphan cockney thieves to make more money. Enlist Grate with the thieves to get more street-smarts....+1 to this, sadly the most sensible and least horrible suggestion so far.
+1Recruit band of orphan cockney thieves to make more money. Enlist Grate with the thieves to get more street-smarts....+1 to this, sadly the most sensible and least horrible suggestion so far.
-1 to everything else.
+1+1Recruit band of orphan cockney thieves to make more money. Enlist Grate with the thieves to get more street-smarts....+1 to this, sadly the most sensible and least horrible suggestion so far.
-1 to everything else.
+1 Better than most of the ideas out there.+1+1Recruit band of orphan cockney thieves to make more money. Enlist Grate with the thieves to get more street-smarts....+1 to this, sadly the most sensible and least horrible suggestion so far.
-1 to everything else.
Ignore my old vote
+1 I don't know why everyone is taking this so seriously.+1 Better than most of the ideas out there.+1+1Recruit band of orphan cockney thieves to make more money. Enlist Grate with the thieves to get more street-smarts....+1 to this, sadly the most sensible and least horrible suggestion so far.
-1 to everything else.
Ignore my old vote
STEPHEN HAWKING is Grate's new dad due to quantum shenanigans.By his own claims. He's been a bit absentee. Even more so than Jim, which is remarkable since Jim's player stopped playing.
I don't know why everyone is taking this so seriously.The presence of a kid does that.
There's a general trend among just about everyone, really horrible people included, to consider kids to be sacrosanct; it's why child abusers and pedophiles tend to fare poorly in prison. It's also why people who are genocidal sociopaths in DF still get mad when they think about Obok Meatgod.I don't know why everyone is taking this so seriously.The presence of a kid does that.
+1+1Recruit band of orphan cockney thieves to make more money. Enlist Grate with the thieves to get more street-smarts....+1 to this, sadly the most sensible and least horrible suggestion so far.
-1 to everything else.
Ignore my old vote
Don't worry folks, I gots a plan.
+1 to this+1 I don't know why everyone is taking this so seriously.+1 Better than most of the ideas out there.+1+1Recruit band of orphan cockney thieves to make more money. Enlist Grate with the thieves to get more street-smarts....+1 to this, sadly the most sensible and least horrible suggestion so far.
-1 to everything else.
Ignore my old vote
I feel like I'm missing some important context here, lol.Don't worry folks, I gots a plan.Does it involve getting him a band of droogs, milk bars, and Beethoven?
Reference. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Clockwork_Orange)I feel like I'm missing some important context here, lol.Don't worry folks, I gots a plan.Does it involve getting him a band of droogs, milk bars, and Beethoven?
And no. Lemme see how this step and maybe the next one go before I unveil The Plan.
+1 to cockney orphan thievites, -1 to hawking sacrifice+1 to this+1 I don't know why everyone is taking this so seriously.+1 Better than most of the ideas out there.+1+1Recruit band of orphan cockney thieves to make more money. Enlist Grate with the thieves to get more street-smarts....+1 to this, sadly the most sensible and least horrible suggestion so far.
-1 to everything else.
Ignore my old vote
-1 to the 'sacrifice Stephen Hawking' idea. Who's going to write more bedtime books for Grate if Stephen Hawking is sacrificed?
+1+1 to cockney orphan thievites, -1 to hawking sacrifice+1 to this+1 I don't know why everyone is taking this so seriously.+1 Better than most of the ideas out there.+1+1Recruit band of orphan cockney thieves to make more money. Enlist Grate with the thieves to get more street-smarts....+1 to this, sadly the most sensible and least horrible suggestion so far.
-1 to everything else.
Ignore my old vote
-1 to the 'sacrifice Stephen Hawking' idea. Who's going to write more bedtime books for Grate if Stephen Hawking is sacrificed?
At the age of two, i dont think he will have the motor skills to properly thief someone.+1+1 to cockney orphan thievites, -1 to hawking sacrifice+1 to this+1 I don't know why everyone is taking this so seriously.+1 Better than most of the ideas out there.+1+1Recruit band of orphan cockney thieves to make more money. Enlist Grate with the thieves to get more street-smarts....+1 to this, sadly the most sensible and least horrible suggestion so far.
-1 to everything else.
Ignore my old vote
-1 to the 'sacrifice Stephen Hawking' idea. Who's going to write more bedtime books for Grate if Stephen Hawking is sacrificed?
insert AWESOME pic here
Kidnap Steven Hawking, cut out his brain and fuse it with Grate's brain to increase his smarts.Seriously man, STEPHEN Hawking.
We're not Stephen hawking! We're Father, you nitwit :PKidnap Steven Hawking, cut out his brain and fuse it with Grate's brain to increase his smarts.Seriously man, STEPHEN Hawking.
Also SERIOUSLY MAN THAT IS US. YOU WANT TO CUT OUT OUR OWN BRAIN AND GRAFT IT TO OUR CHILDS. He's STEPHEN HAWKING not Dr. GERO.
We're not Stephen hawking! We're Father Christmas, you nitwit :PKidnap Steven Hawking, cut out his brain and fuse it with Grate's brain to increase his smarts.Seriously man, STEPHEN Hawking.
Also SERIOUSLY MAN THAT IS US. YOU WANT TO CUT OUT OUR OWN BRAIN AND GRAFT IT TO OUR CHILDS. He's STEPHEN HAWKING not Dr. GERO.
Dangit can't post a picture on this thing. The guy from KND.
I'm curious, when is someone going to try to introduce Grate to Dwarf Fortress?He might find it entertaining. I know, I know, hard to believe that some people actually like that game. But there is that slim possibility. We wouldn't want our son to be happy. Happiness would cause him to gain false hope. Also, I don't think he knows how to read yet. How is he going to play a game where the graphics themselves are text based?
Do you see a Happiness stat up there? I don't, which means it either doesn't exist or is a negative skill.I'm curious, when is someone going to try to introduce Grate to Dwarf Fortress?He might find it entertaining. I know, I know, hard to believe that some people actually like that game. But there is that slim possibility. We wouldn't want our son to be happy. Happiness would cause him to gain false hope. Also, I don't think he knows how to read yet. How is he going to play a game where the graphics themselves are text based?
We have moneys now, don't we? Use it! Get our little floodgate a fencing tutor, motor skills be damned!This gets my +1. Grate shall be able to riposte with the best.
+1We have moneys now, don't we? Use it! Get our little floodgate a fencing tutor, motor skills be damned!This gets my +1. Grate shall be able to riposte with the best.
Do you see a Happiness stat up there? I don't, which means it either doesn't exist or is a negative skill.I'm curious, when is someone going to try to introduce Grate to Dwarf Fortress?He might find it entertaining. I know, I know, hard to believe that some people actually like that game. But there is that slim possibility. We wouldn't want our son to be happy. Happiness would cause him to gain false hope. Also, I don't think he knows how to read yet. How is he going to play a game where the graphics themselves are text based?
+1, with a fix.+1We have moneys now, don't we? Use it! Get our little floodgate aThis gets my +1. Grate shall be able to riposte with the best.fencing tutordancing master, motor skills be damned!
+1 I would have preferred him to learn to kill with his bare hands first, but he has to learn all the killing arts at some point. If others would agree, we could amend this to kendo, or even ninjutsu, so he can become a proper 90's antihero, but I'll support the original idea otherwise.+1We have moneys now, don't we? Use it! Get our little floodgate a fencing tutor, motor skills be damned!This gets my +1. Grate shall be able to riposte with the best.
Teach Grate to read.Also +1
Using lots of scary stories and ancient mythology and whatever else, just so long as he learns to read.
+1Teach Grate to read.Also +1
Using lots of scary stories and ancient mythology and whatever else, just so long as he learns to read.
+1+1Teach Grate to read.Also +1
Using lots of scary stories and ancient mythology and whatever else, just so long as he learns to read.
You might not always have a suitable fencing weapon,
Sig thread.insert AWESOME pic hereWHY CANT I SIG YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
-1 to fencing. If the boy's gonna learn how to use a blade it needs to be a knife and he needs to learn how to fight with it. You might not always have a suitable fencing weapon, but you can always carry a knife. Maybe when he's older, yeah?+1
+1 to reading suggestion, and also keeping the orphans around. I'll need them soon.
+1 to everything GWG -1'd, because blanket -1s are unfair.Sig thread.insert AWESOME pic hereWHY CANT I SIG YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
It solves all.-1 to fencing. If the boy's gonna learn how to use a blade it needs to be a knife and he needs to learn how to fight with it. You might not always have a suitable fencing weapon, but you can always carry a knife. Maybe when he's older, yeah?+1
+1 to reading suggestion, and also keeping the orphans around. I'll need them soon.
-1 to the rest. You monsters.
+1 to everything GWG -1'd, because fuck sanity.+1 to everything GWG -1'd, because blanket -1s are unfair.Sig thread.insert AWESOME pic hereWHY CANT I SIG YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
It solves all.-1 to fencing. If the boy's gonna learn how to use a blade it needs to be a knife and he needs to learn how to fight with it. You might not always have a suitable fencing weapon, but you can always carry a knife. Maybe when he's older, yeah?+1
+1 to reading suggestion, and also keeping the orphans around. I'll need them soon.
-1 to the rest. You monsters.
+1 to everything GWG -1'd, because fuck sanity.+1 to everything GWG -1'd, because blanket -1s are unfair.Sig thread.insert AWESOME pic hereWHY CANT I SIG YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
It solves all.-1 to fencing. If the boy's gonna learn how to use a blade it needs to be a knife and he needs to learn how to fight with it. You might not always have a suitable fencing weapon, but you can always carry a knife. Maybe when he's older, yeah?+1
+1 to reading suggestion, and also keeping the orphans around. I'll need them soon.
-1 to the rest. You monsters.
...Why would we want a rage-filled serial killer? We're trying to turn him into a god, that's all.
So, I showed this game to my Dad, and he actually seems interested in playing it. Yes, knowing of all the horrible player stuff. I'm not going to remind him though, because then I'd be Grate's brother, and that's just weird.
So, instead of becoming his brother, I'll try to improve his life. Wouldn't it be better if Grate grew up to be an effective sociopath, who rises to the top? Trauma won't put him there- it'll make him into a rage filled serial killer who lashes out uncontrollably until he's shot. So instead of doing actions that we know can only result in him being traumatized, let's try and make an avatar of skill and power.
So: +1 to everything GWG +1'd, -1 to everything else. Mostly because I don't feel like sifting through the idiocy.
I'm imagining PW sitting there sifting through all this, punching pluses and minuses into a battered old calculator with a resigned expression.I'm actually using a very large, very old computer with punch cards.
Teach Grate to read.
Using lots of scary stories and ancient mythology and whatever else, just so long as he learns to read.
GRATE OBVIOUSLY NEEDS NO WEAPONS!yes
SACRIFICE TWELVE LEGENDARY MONKS TO GRATE!
Sigh. Why did we try giving a two-year-old a sword, guys? Seriously?Ok, you want what you want, then you must learn how to speak bay12. Have him read the necronomicon, or something.
Also, I dunno if reminding Grate's mother of his existence would be a good idea, giving how we're treating him.
Let's do this:Teach Grate to read.
Using lots of scary stories and ancient mythology and whatever else, just so long as he learns to read.
+1 to teaching Grate to read with the NecronomiconSigh. Why did we try giving a two-year-old a sword, guys? Seriously?Ok, you want what you want, then you must learn how to speak bay12. Have him read the necronomicon, or something.
Also, I dunno if reminding Grate's mother of his existence would be a good idea, giving how we're treating him.
Let's do this:Teach Grate to read.
Using lots of scary stories and ancient mythology and whatever else, just so long as he learns to read.
Sigh. Why did we try giving a two-year-old a sword, guys? Seriously?
Also, I dunno if reminding Grate's mother of his existence would be a good idea, giving how we're treating him.
Let's do this:Teach Grate to read.
Using lots of scary stories and ancient mythology and whatever else, just so long as he learns to read.
...And thus another Bay12er was born.
So, I showed this game to my Dad, and he actually seems interested in playing it. Yes, knowing of all the horrible player stuff.
So: +1 to everything GWG +1'd, -1 to everything else. Mostly because I don't feel like sifting through the idiocy.I like being the baseline for uncrazy suggestions.
Sigh. Why did we try giving a two-year-old a sword, guys? Seriously?+1
Also, I dunno if reminding Grate's mother of his existence would be a good idea, giving how we're treating him.
Let's do this:Teach Grate to read.
Using lots of scary stories and ancient mythology and whatever else, just so long as he learns to read.
Ok, you want what you want, then you must learn how to speak bay12. Have him read the necronomicon, or something.All of you claim to be Lovecraftians, but how many of you have read any of the Necronomicon that you didn't hear from your head cultist?
All of you claim to be Lovecraftians, but how many of you have read any of the Necronomicon that you didn't hear from your head cultist?I've read it. In my opinion, it's boring as crap. Pictures look cool, though.
Besides, you all need to stop faffing around. If we're really going to traumatize him, we need to teach him to read with the help of Ayn Rand.Oh come on, we're not monsters.
DAMMIT GUYS, WE NEED TO DO THINGS THAT A TODDLER CAN DO.+1
THAT BEING SAID SEND GRATE TO A HIGH CLASS CLUB, TO HIT ON HOT LADIES AND INCREASE HIS DAPPERTUDE
+1 to teaching him to read.+1 to this. The reading thing. And -1 to all the things he's minus-oned.
-1 to involving the necronomicon. Let's put that off until later, when he can control the powers rather than getting eaten by them. Possessed child's no good- it's like a demon stole him. Also, monies.
-1 to any future/current suggestions involving severe physical abuse
I just want to make this clear, I was making a suggestion to match the means and the audience. Personally, I would be more interested in watching Bay12vers to produce a normal, boring, average human being. Reason being, I know, that we, as a collective, will screw up somewhere.Ok, you want what you want, then you must learn how to speak bay12. Have him read the necronomicon, or something.
-1 to stupid abusive things. So, pretty much all the other suggestions.
I've looked it up, but, thats as far as i ever went. I never was really interested in reading it, because, once I started reading the works written by those other than lovecraft, the mindset was so different that, well, It annoyed me.Ok, you want what you want, then you must learn how to speak bay12. Have him read the necronomicon, or something.All of you claim to be Lovecraftians, but how many of you have read any of the Necronomicon that you didn't hear from your head cultist?
...And thus another Bay12er was born.
So, I showed this game to my Dad, and he actually seems interested in playing it. Yes, knowing of all the horrible player stuff.QuoteSo: +1 to everything GWG +1'd, -1 to everything else. Mostly because I don't feel like sifting through the idiocy.I like being the baseline for uncrazy suggestions.Sigh. Why did we try giving a two-year-old a sword, guys? Seriously?+1
Also, I dunno if reminding Grate's mother of his existence would be a good idea, giving how we're treating him.
Let's do this:Teach Grate to read.
Using lots of scary stories and ancient mythology and whatever else, just so long as he learns to read.Ok, you want what you want, then you must learn how to speak bay12. Have him read the necronomicon, or something.All of you claim to be Lovecraftians, but how many of you have read any of the Necronomicon that you didn't hear from your head cultist?
Also, -1, where would we even get a copy?
-1 to stupid abusive things. So, pretty much all the other suggestions.
-1 this whole quote, since my current suggestion isn't stupid OR abusive. And GWG, you take this WAY too seriously. Just stats like 'dappertude' and 'schooliousness' show that this RtD is meant to be funny and taken however we want. This isn't a real child, it's just a game. A game you seem to take WAY too serious. Besides, it's illogical to teach him how to read if he already has the business sense to run his own office, and speak at year 1....
I was making a joke. I'd explain, but then it wouldn't be funny.I've looked it up, but, thats as far as i ever went. I never was really interested in reading it, because, once I started reading the works written by those other than lovecraft, the mindset was so different that, well, It annoyed me.Ok, you want what you want, then you must learn how to speak bay12. Have him read the necronomicon, or something.All of you claim to be Lovecraftians, but how many of you have read any of the Necronomicon that you didn't hear from your head cultist?
And, I never claimed to be a lovecraftian any more than I claimed to be a christian, which I dont, because I dont fit the bill in action, though I do in belief.
Notice that I said pretty much all the other suggestions, not every single other suggestion.-1 to stupid abusive things. So, pretty much all the other suggestions.-1 the ABOVE quote, since my current suggestion isn't stupid OR abusive. And GWG, you take this WAY too seriously. Just stats like 'dappertude' and 'schooliousness' show that this RtD is meant to be funny and taken however we want. This isn't a real child, it's just a game. A game you seem to take WAY too serious. Besides, it's illogical to teach him how to read if he already has the business sense to run his own office, and speak at year 1.
Oye. Sorry i missed it. Never been that bright to humor that didnt end in a missing skull.I was making a joke. I'd explain, but then it wouldn't be funny.I've looked it up, but, thats as far as i ever went. I never was really interested in reading it, because, once I started reading the works written by those other than lovecraft, the mindset was so different that, well, It annoyed me.Ok, you want what you want, then you must learn how to speak bay12. Have him read the necronomicon, or something.All of you claim to be Lovecraftians, but how many of you have read any of the Necronomicon that you didn't hear from your head cultist?
And, I never claimed to be a lovecraftian any more than I claimed to be a christian, which I dont, because I dont fit the bill in action, though I do in belief.
DAMMIT GUYS, WE NEED TO DO THINGS THAT A TODDLER CAN DO.+1 this!
THAT BEING SAID SEND GRATE TO A HIGH CLASS CLUB, TO HIT ON HOT LADIES AND INCREASE HIS DAPPERTUDE
And so, to teach our probrably already screwed up kid about women n' stuff:-1. Yah, no. . . . . just. . . . No.DAMMIT GUYS, WE NEED TO DO THINGS THAT A TODDLER CAN DO.+1 this!
THAT BEING SAID SEND GRATE TO A HIGH CLASS CLUB, TO HIT ON HOT LADIES AND INCREASE HIS DAPPERTUDE
And so, to teach our probrably already screwed up kid about women n' stuff:+1DAMMIT GUYS, WE NEED TO DO THINGS THAT A TODDLER CAN DO.+1 this!
THAT BEING SAID SEND GRATE TO A HIGH CLASS CLUB, TO HIT ON HOT LADIES AND INCREASE HIS DAPPERTUDE
Oh, zomara? Do you have a better suggestion that ACTUALLY increases his stats?Yes, actually. He has been blessed by the business gods, to the point of having one sacrificed to him. He must learn to excersize his powers. I say we Have him pull an investment raid. Make our company, that we work for, rich, at the expense of another company. One of our competitors.
We sacrificed a nature goddess to him. We sacrificed a puppy to a business god.Oh, zomara? Do you have a better suggestion that ACTUALLY increases his stats?Yes, actually. He has been blessed by the business gods, to the point of having one sacrificed to him. He must learn to excersize his powers. I say we Have him pull an investment raid. Make our company, that we work for, rich, at the expense of another company. One of our competitors.
I heard GWG's sanity call, and so I came.
Magic not nature.We sacrificed a nature goddess to him. We sacrificed a puppy to a business god.Oh, zomara? Do you have a better suggestion that ACTUALLY increases his stats?Yes, actually. He has been blessed by the business gods, to the point of having one sacrificed to him. He must learn to excersize his powers. I say we Have him pull an investment raid. Make our company, that we work for, rich, at the expense of another company. One of our competitors.
I heard GWG's sanity call, and so I came.
gee thanks gwg this game totally needed more sanity. are you planning to put some in every game this board will spawn that revolves around shenanigans?
ACQUIRE DAGGER AND TRAIN GRATE IN THE ART OF SACRIFICING THINGS TO THEMSELVES. how long are we going to do that on our own
LEARn YOUR WORDS GOOD!"
Provide Grate with lots of books on military history, tactics, and materiel. We need a good knowledge foundation for our future conquerer.
Teach Grate to sacrifice things to himself.
+1Provide Grate with lots of books on military history, tactics, and materiel. We need a good knowledge foundation for our future conquerer.
+1
+1+1Provide Grate with lots of books on military history, tactics, and materiel. We need a good knowledge foundation for our future conquerer.
+1
+1+1+1Provide Grate with lots of books on military history, tactics, and materiel. We need a good knowledge foundation for our future conquerer.
+1
+1+1+1Provide Grate with lots of books on military history, tactics, and materiel. We need a good knowledge foundation for our future conquerer.
+1
+1+1+1Provide Grate with lots of books on military history, tactics, and materiel. We need a good knowledge foundation for our future conquerer.
+1
+1
Teach Grate to sacrifice things to himself.
+1
+1+1+1Provide Grate with lots of books on military history, tactics, and materiel. We need a good knowledge foundation for our future conquerer.
+1
+1
+1+1+1Provide Grate with lots of books on military history, tactics, and materiel. We need a good knowledge foundation for our future conquerer.
+1
But now I want to get him a bunch of assassin based video games to teach him that stuff... or better, pay some guy to invent VR video games and then stick grate into that.... maybe next time?
People, people. He's two. I don't think he can read.We spent the last turn teaching him how to read.
Read Grate books about the great figures of history. We need to instill wonder and ambition!
OH SHIT.
GUYS
GUYS
OH SHIT GUYS
GRATE IS TWO!
WE HAVEN'T FED HIM, LIKE AT ALL!
OH SHIT.LIES AND SLANDER! We fed him the blood of Hecate.
GUYS
GUYS
OH SHIT GUYS
GRATE IS TWO!
WE HAVEN'T FED HIM, LIKE AT ALL!
OH SHIT.He's a god. He doesn't need you to feed him. Ambrosia and all that.
GUYS
GUYS
OH SHIT GUYS
GRATE IS TWO!
WE HAVEN'T FED HIM, LIKE AT ALL!
OH SHIT.The blood of the gods and the misery of his enemies shall sustain him. Human food will only make him weaker. Plus, he's lived this long. I think that's proof he doesn't ACTUALLY need food.
GUYS
GUYS
OH SHIT GUYS
GRATE IS TWO!
WE HAVEN'T FED HIM, LIKE AT ALL!
WARNING
WARNING
PIECEWISE WILL BE GONE TILL MONDAY BECAUSE HE HAS TO LEARN HIRAGANA
WARNING
WARNING
gee thanks gwg this game totally needed more sanity. are you planning to put some in every game this board will spawn that revolves around shenanigans?Considering it.
WARNINGThat sounds fun.
WARNING
PIECEWISE WILL BE GONE TILL MONDAY BECAUSE HE HAS TO LEARN HIRAGANA
WARNING
WARNING
That makes me think that maybe we should teach Grate some sort of foreign language.Teach Grate all languages, even long dead ones.
DAMNIT GUYS, YOUR STILL NOT GETTING IT.
Take Grate to Las Vegas where his BUSINESSNESS will earn us lotsa cash, and to flirt with the ladies to increase his DAPPERTUDE
That makes me think that maybe we should teach Grate some sort of foreign language.Teach Grate all languages, even long dead ones.
All this talk about dead languages gives me an idea.
Sacrifice languages to Grate.
That makes me think that maybe we should teach Grate some sort of foreign language.Teach Grate all languages, even long dead ones.
Especially the long dead ones! +1
People, people. He's two. I don't think he can read.
Read Grate books about the great figures of history. We need to instill wonder and ambition!
Could someone remind me why we would want Grate to become a buisnessman? I mean sure, he'd be evil, sure, he'd be rich, but neither of them in a fun way.No, no. He was supposed to be a magically empowered businessman. And not the magic of the invisible hand of the free market, either.
Screw my old ideaThe hell is that?
TEACH GRATE TO TWERK WHEN HE GETS ANGRY
Screw my old idea
TEACH GRATE TO TWERK WHEN HE GETS ANGRY
Google points to Urban Dictionary. That says.... stuff.... that sounds stupid.+1Screw my old idea-1. I don't want Grate stupid.
TEACH GRATE TO TWERK WHEN HE GETS ANGRY
But twerking makes you invulnerable to turret fire!No, that's the Ubercharge.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n049JQaXAPE
See, not useless :P
Yeah, no, that doesn't make any sense.+1
And I've already signed the no-unnecessary-trauma pact, so I couldn't agree with that even if I wanted to.
-derping-Yeah, a much better idea is to have someone actually steal the teddy bear, then hand Grate a knife and tell him to hunt the person down.
BESTNow if this was ER Grate we could just throw him down an elevator shaft and achieve the same thing.
IDEA
EVER
Buy cloning device. Make multiple Grates, one for each Bay12'er who wants traumatize/raise a child.
BEST
IDEA
EVER
Buy cloning device. Make multiple Grates, one for each Bay12'er who wants traumatize/raise a child.
Hey, we confuse reality and fiction, and we turned out...uh, wait...BEST
IDEA
EVER
Buy cloning device. Make multiple Grates, one for each Bay12'er who wants traumatize/raise a child.
Even better, have Grate kill his clones because overcoming yourself is the first to step forward in.... whatever... let's go with that twisted logic!
Though more unneccisarry trauma probrably.... I say we stick in a VR machine an install knowledge into his brain like the Matrix is some something. Who cares if he can't tell reality from fiction because of being stuck in a VR machine at such a young age.
If you have a clumsy child you make them wear a helmet; if you have death-prone children you keep a few clones of them in your lab.
Now if this was ER Grate we could just throw him down an elevator shaft and achieve the same thing.Nah, you'd just end up with one Grate, a bunch of corpses, and a four-armed giant synthflesh space wizard trying to kill you.
Replicate Schrodinger's cat. Using Grate. Maybe give him cat ears and a cat tail to wear in order to make it match better. Preferably severed from an actual cat. With the rest of the cat sacrificed to Stephen Hawking.I believe my standard blanket -1 applies, but -a bunch.
Pft. First you do blanket -1; now you try to subtract additional points?Now if this was ER Grate we could just throw him down an elevator shaft and achieve the same thing.Nah, you'd just end up with one Grate, a bunch of corpses, and a four-armed giant synthflesh space wizard trying to kill you.Replicate Schrodinger's cat. Using Grate. Maybe give him cat ears and a cat tail to wear in order to make it match better. Preferably severed from an actual cat. With the rest of the cat sacrificed to Stephen Hawking.I believe my standard blanket -1 applies, but -a bunch.
I'm going to +1 the cloning thing just for that reference.If you have a clumsy child you make them wear a helmet; if you have death-prone children you keep a few clones of them in your lab.
+1
And I thought GWG was supposed to be sane.Relative to the rest of the forum. He rates less than a .1 on the Xantalos Scale of Cognitive Derangement.
It says so underneath his ever changing Avatar "Sane, by the local standards." And I'm pretty sure the standards of of sanity here are... zero to none!And I thought GWG was supposed to be sane.Relative to the rest of the forum. He rates less than a .1 on the Xantalos Scale of Cognitive Derangement.
Hence why the Xantalos Scale of Cognitive Derangement is a figure-8.It says so underneath his ever changing Avatar "Sane, by the local standards." And I'm pretty sure the standards of of sanity here are... zero to none!And I thought GWG was supposed to be sane.Relative to the rest of the forum. He rates less than a .1 on the Xantalos Scale of Cognitive Derangement.
Even those of you wanting to traumatize Grate should be opposing this, since killing Grate ends your attempts to make him a magic uber gangsta businessman or whatever.That's why we sacrifice the cat to STEPHEN HAWKING, to ensure his safety during the procedure.
Sacrifice Grate to Grate.+1 Maybe we should sacrifice to Grate the concept of sacrifice?
((Why does everything keep going back to sacrifice?))
Replicate Schrodinger's cat. Using Grate. Maybe give him cat ears and a cat tail to wear in order to make it match better. Preferably severed from an actual cat. With the rest of the cat sacrificed to Stephen Hawking which we later sacrifice to Grate.
And I thought GWG was supposed to be sane.I am.
Throw away our sacrificial knife, because we clearly can't use it responsibly. Then FEED THE POOR STARVING CHILD WHO HASN'T EATEN IN TWO YEARS+1
Sacrifice Grate to Grate.+1 Maybe we should sacrifice to Grate the concept of sacrifice?
((Why does everything keep going back to sacrifice?))
Throw away our sacrificial knife, because we clearly can't use it responsibly. Then FEED THE POOR STARVING CHILD WHO HASN'T EATEN IN TWO YEARS
Throw away our sacrificial knife, because we clearly can't use it responsibly. Then FEED THE POOR STARVING CHILD WHO HASN'T EATEN IN TWO YEARS+1
Throw away our sacrificial knife, because we clearly can't use it responsibly. Then FEED THE POOR STARVING CHILD WHO HASN'T EATEN IN TWO YEARSNo, that's useless, he would of been dead if we weren't feeding him. Before the first action he would of died. -1
Throw away our sacrificial knife, because we clearly can't use it responsibly. Then FEED THE POOR STARVING CHILD WHO HASN'T EATEN IN TWO YEARSNo, that's useless, he would of been dead if we weren't feeding him. Before the first action he would of died. -1
Throw away our sacrificial knife, because we clearly can't use it responsibly. Then FEED THE POOR STARVING CHILD WHO HASN'T EATEN IN TWO YEARS+1
give Grate a pomp cane that we "borrowed"By which you mean found buried in Egypt correct? :P
give Grate a pomp cane that we "borrowed"By which you mean found buried in Egypt correct? :P
+1 to the lolgive Grate a pomp cane that we "borrowed"By which you mean found buried in Egypt correct? :P
((Lol.))
auto correct...give Grate a pomp cane that we "borrowed"By which you mean found buried in Egypt correct? :P
((Lol.))
+1 to the lol
That seems like it could easily backfire. Especially if they threaten to charge us with molestation. Or neglect or abuse.Ever seen "The Hunt"? (nominated for Best Foreign Language Film in this year's Academy Awards).
Really, there's a damn good reason people get evidence before they blackmail.
((Hm, can't say I've seen that.That seems like it could easily backfire. Especially if they threaten to charge us with molestation. Or neglect or abuse.Ever seen "The Hunt"? (nominated for Best Foreign Language Film in this year's Academy Awards).
Really, there's a damn good reason people get evidence before they blackmail.
This movie teaches us that you don't need proof. You just need to threaten to ruin the teacher's reputation.
DECLARE HOUSE OWN PRIVATE COUNTRY+1
PUT GRATE THROUGH MILITARY TRAINING
>Feed the child a single slice of toasted bread.That's horrible! And unnecessary. Why would you do that to a poor helpless Toaster?
>Then shoot the toaster with a high-calibre bullet.
This will teach Grate the fleeting nature of all that is good.
Weren't we supposed to read books to Grate, instead of trying to make a toddler read military strategy books himself?
+1Weren't we supposed to read books to Grate, instead of trying to make a toddler read military strategy books himself?
That... was my intention, yes.
Don't give up on our little warlord! Read the books to him, and demonstrate effective strategies for him. Make it into a game and get some little toy army men to demonstrate things more effectively. Make sure to also get toenail clippers, so that we can realistically demonstrate the effects of mortar fire.
((When I was four, I actually did that. I'm told that I got angry at my mom for tossing the severed limbs away, because they were necessary for the battlefield.))
+1Weren't we supposed to read books to Grate, instead of trying to make a toddler read military strategy books himself?
That... was my intention, yes.
Don't give up on our little warlord! Read the books to him, and demonstrate effective strategies for him. Make it into a game and get some little toy army men to demonstrate things more effectively. Make sure to also get toenail clippers, so that we can realistically demonstrate the effects of mortar fire.
((When I was four, I actually did that. I'm told that I got angry at my mom for tossing the severed limbs away, because they were necessary for the battlefield.))
+1+1Weren't we supposed to read books to Grate, instead of trying to make a toddler read military strategy books himself?
That... was my intention, yes.
Don't give up on our little warlord! Read the books to him, and demonstrate effective strategies for him. Make it into a game and get some little toy army men to demonstrate things more effectively. Make sure to also get toenail clippers, so that we can realistically demonstrate the effects of mortar fire.
((When I was four, I actually did that. I'm told that I got angry at my mom for tossing the severed limbs away, because they were necessary for the battlefield.))
((I remember smashing up army men with rocks in the backyard, to simulate heavy shelling. :))))
FTFY+1+1Weren't we supposed to read books to Grate, instead of trying to make a toddler read military strategy books himself?
That... was my intention, yes.
Don't give up on our little warlord! Read the books to him, and demonstrate effective strategies for him. Make it into a game and get some little toy army men to demonstrate things more effectively. Make sure to also get toenail clippers, so that we can realistically demonstrate the effects of mortar fire.
((When I was four, I actually did that. I'm told that I got angry at my mom for tossing the severed limbs away, because they were necessary for the battlefield.))
((I remember smashing up army men with rocks in the backyard, to simulate heavy shelling. :))))
For the game, make it historical scenarios, with accurate terrain and troop counts (/100 or something). Put Grate on the losing side every time, and give him basic information on what his men can do. When he wins, reward him. When he loses, PUNCH THE LIVING HELL OUTA THE LITTLE SHIT at him.
+1+1+1Weren't we supposed to read books to Grate, instead of trying to make a toddler read military strategy books himself?
That... was my intention, yes.
Don't give up on our little warlord! Read the books to him, and demonstrate effective strategies for him. Make it into a game and get some little toy army men to demonstrate things more effectively. Make sure to also get toenail clippers, so that we can realistically demonstrate the effects of mortar fire.
((When I was four, I actually did that. I'm told that I got angry at my mom for tossing the severed limbs away, because they were necessary for the battlefield.))
((I remember smashing up army men with rocks in the backyard, to simulate heavy shelling. :))))
For the game, make it historical scenarios, with accurate terrain and troop counts (/100 or something). Put Grate on the losing side every time, and give him basic information on what his men can do. When he wins, reward him. When he loses, PUNCH THE LIVING HELL OUTA THE LITTLE SHIT at him.
FTFY
We need more gods.
Create new gods with our imagination and sacrifice them to Grate.
+1 the Reading to and war game, -1 to punching and yelling. Instead scold with what he should of done instead.
We should set ourselves up as a rival, not an obstacle.
Now that Grate has grasped the art of war, teach him to play Dwarf Fortress. In ASCII. Without Dwarf Therapist. That should train his Determinational skill like crazy.
+1 everything except the tileset. ASC... whatever is better since tilesets are for the hard to figure stuff out without a proper visual aid challenged!Now that Grate has grasped the art of war, teach him to play Dwarf Fortress. In ASCII. Without Dwarf Therapist. That should train his Determinational skill like crazy.
>Okay, but let's at least give him a tileset with like teddy bears and shit. Yeah, teddy bear fortress. Kids like teddy bears, right?
Elves can be happy smiling piñatas filled with toys and candy.
>Feed the child a single slice of toasted bread.
>Then shoot the toaster with a high-calibre bullet.
This will teach Grate the fleeting nature of all that is good.
>Feed the child a single slice of toasted bread.
>Then shoot the toaster with a high-calibre bullet.
This will teach Grate the fleeting nature of all that is good.
...
No.
+1 everything except the tileset. ASC... whatever is better since tilesets are for the hard to figure stuff out without a proper visual aid challenged!Now that Grate has grasped the art of war, teach him to play Dwarf Fortress. In ASCII. Without Dwarf Therapist. That should train his Determinational skill like crazy.
>Okay, but let's at least give him a tileset with like teddy bears and shit. Yeah, teddy bear fortress. Kids like teddy bears, right?
Elves can be happy smiling piñatas filled with toys and candy.
When are we going to teach our son the true American pastime of Pigskin Gridiron? Of course, he doesn't have to learn football and instead can be one of those chess-Playin' pinko redcoat bastards.Pigskin Gridiron?
This was clearly a sign from the powers beyond human comprehension.+1 to fantasy novel. As for the sacrifice, FTFY
Buy abearpanda cub, sacrifice it to the Dark God Grate. Sell DFantasy novels for Lodes a' Money.
Alright, yeah, that's a better idea. Bears for the bear god!This was clearly a sign from the powers beyond human comprehension.+1 to fantasy novel. As for the sacrifice, FTFY
Buy abearpanda cub, sacrifice it to the Dark God Grate. Sell DFantasy novels for Lodes a' Money.
Alright, yeah, that's a better idea. Bears for the bear god!This was clearly a sign from the powers beyond human comprehension.+1 to fantasy novel. As for the sacrifice, FTFY
Buy abearpanda cub, sacrifice it to the Dark God Grate. Sell DFantasy novels for Lodes a' Money.
+1Alright, yeah, that's a better idea. Bears for the bear god!This was clearly a sign from the powers beyond human comprehension.+1 to fantasy novel. As for the sacrifice, FTFY
Buy abearpanda cub, sacrifice it to the Dark God Grate. Sell DFantasy novels for Lodes a' Money.
+ above+1Alright, yeah, that's a better idea. Bears for the bear god!This was clearly a sign from the powers beyond human comprehension.+1 to fantasy novel. As for the sacrifice, FTFY
Buy abearpanda cub, sacrifice it to the Dark God Grate. Sell DFantasy novels for Lodes a' Money.
Well, I think we can call this kid raised and take a vacation.+1. Kid deserves a break.
Take Grate to soak up some sun on the beach, our mission is accomplished! Grate has done something with himself!
We need to work on dappertude a bit.
Now that Grate is the Bear God, have some father-son bonding time by constructing his temple with him.
+ above+1Alright, yeah, that's a better idea. Bears for the bear god!This was clearly a sign from the powers beyond human comprehension.+1 to fantasy novel. As for the sacrifice, FTFY
Buy abearpanda cub, sacrifice it to the Dark God Grate. Sell DFantasy novels for Lodes a' Money.
You head down to Tijuana and buy a panda from one of the many back alley panda dealers that infest mexico's streets. He tells you "eeet is good panda, homes. Real pure. Not cut with polar bear or shit, yeah? Grade A fucking panda right there."
Clone him or make him friends.
I say we kidnap him some friends.+1. FRIENDS FOR THE FRIEND THRONE!
Wait.OH GOD NO PLEASE NO THATS TOO MUCH, JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT, NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!
Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
YOU KNOW HIS POWER WILL INCREASE FROM THISWait.OH GOD NO PLEASE NO THATS TOO MUCH, JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT, NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!
Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
No way, man. This is too cruel. Almost as cruel as telling Grate the full story of Obok Meatgod while he's still addicted to DF.YOU KNOW HIS POWER WILL INCREASE FROM THISWait.OH GOD NO PLEASE NO THATS TOO MUCH, JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT, NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!
Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
Do you want me to proposition that as a vote?No way, man. This is too cruel. Almost as cruel as telling Grate the full story of Obok Meatgod while he's still addicted to DF.YOU KNOW HIS POWER WILL INCREASE FROM THISWait.OH GOD NO PLEASE NO THATS TOO MUCH, JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT, NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!
Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
ITS EVE ONLINE FOR GODS SAKE, AT THE RATE HE'S GOING WITH BEAR FORTRESS HE WONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO FEED HIMSELF!No way, man. This is too cruel. Almost as cruel as telling Grate the full story of Obok Meatgod while he's still addicted to DF.YOU KNOW HIS POWER WILL INCREASE FROM THISWait.OH GOD NO PLEASE NO THATS TOO MUCH, JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT, NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!
Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
Also but an intravenous feeding tube kitI am having the slightest feeling that nothing at all I'm saying is making an impact on you here.
People who would pass by here on this forum would see this part of the forum and basically everything else as a insane melting pot of lava, spikes, and pushing elves into holes of magma and spikes, but if you take the time to actually read through things, you will realise its a see-saw balanced by a massive community of people who are all either insane, a counter balance to the insane, a counter counter balance back again over a massive melting pot of magma, spikes and elves being pushed into magma and spikes.And I sig this to commemorate it.
And dear god I wouldn't have it any other way.
People who would pass by here on this forum would see this part of the forum and basically everything else as a insane melting pot of lava, spikes, and pushing elves into holes of magma and spikes, but if you take the time to actually read through things, you will realise its a see-saw balanced by a massive community of people who are all either insane, a counter balance to the insane, a counter counter balance back again over a massive melting pot of magma, spikes and elves being pushed into magma and spikes.None of us would. That is why we are here. Do not try to counter our madness Execute, it will only hold you and us back. Embrace the chaos. Embrace the insanity. Embrace the samba-dancing, multicoloured, tentacled beast within.
And dear god I wouldn't have it any other way.
You head down to Tijuana and buy a panda from one of the many back alley panda dealers that infest mexico's streets. He tells you "eeet is good panda, homes. Real pure. Not cut with polar bear or shit, yeah? Grade A fucking panda right there."((Sigged :P))
Fine, let's meet halfway.+1
give him mines craft and make him a server where he can play with friends and implement a mod in which there is economics and traders.
TELL GRATE THE STORY OF OBOK MEATGOD-1
And this would change what exactly? We literally fed him like...once....I think? DID we feed him? I thought we got him a birthday cake when he was 2 or 3 that was the first thing he ever ate.ITS EVE ONLINE FOR GODS SAKE, AT THE RATE HE'S GOING WITH BEAR FORTRESS HE WONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO FEED HIMSELF!No way, man. This is too cruel. Almost as cruel as telling Grate the full story of Obok Meatgod while he's still addicted to DF.YOU KNOW HIS POWER WILL INCREASE FROM THISWait.OH GOD NO PLEASE NO THATS TOO MUCH, JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT, NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!
Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
+1Fine, let's meet halfway.+1
give him mines craft and make him a server where he can play with friends and implement a mod in which there is economics and traders.
Well, we just lost his businessness stat, so let's try to increase it AND dappertude
Take Grate to Vegas so he can count cards and flirt with the ladies to increase Businessness and Dappertude
Like Prometheus we shall mold him friends of living clay and breath life into them.+1
Like Frankenstein, we shall sew him friends of dead flesh and strike the spark of life into them.FTFY. Being pecked by birds for petty thievery is not our favorite pastime. Mad Science, however...
set him up with stocks in some relatively low risk areas and give him 'babies first stock market' so he can learn, then give them a closet full of sets of clothing. Half normal, the other half Magical Girl cosplay. Act normally towards the child when they wear the normal ones. Act incredibly kind and compassionate when they were the cosplay. Continue until conditioning is successful.+1
+1Like Prometheus we shall mold him friends of living clay and breath life into them.+1
I've already mentioned what we're going to say about the bees (or maybe it was wasps? Either way, it'll be bees now), but where do the birds fit in to that narrative?TELL GRATE THE STORY OF OBOK MEATGOD-1
We should save it for the 'bees and birds' talk.
Wait.THIS. NOW.
Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
NO. NEVER.Wait.THIS. NOW.
Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
MAYBE. SOMEDAY.NO. NEVER.Wait.THIS. NOW.
Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
BUT WHYYYYYYYY?! ARE WE SHOUTING AND WHYYYYYYYYYY DO WE NEED EVE ONLINE SPECIFICALLY, THERE ARE MANY DIFFRENT GAMES THAT ARE SOUL RENDING AND A WASTE OF YOUR FREE TIME, AND HALF OF THEM DONT HAVE PEOPLE WHO WASTE TIME PLAYING A GAME THAT WITH THE SKILLS THEY ARE USING, THEY COULD BECOME RICH.MAYBE. SOMEDAY.NO. NEVER.Wait.THIS. NOW.
Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
+1
R.I.P. Piecewise
~August 14th, 2005 - January 30th, 2014
FUCKWe are really trying to break piecewise on this one, and I think we might be succeeding.
YOU ALL WANT FRIENDS BUT YOU ALL WANT THEM IN DIFFERENT WAYS
FUCK
I WANTED MINES CRAFT BECAUSE THEN I COULD MAKE FUNNY HAHA JOKE ABOUT A BOOTLEG EASTERN EUROPEAN MINECRAFT WHERE EVERYTHING IS IN GRAY AND THE CREEPERS TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME THEIR FATHER BEAT THEIR MOTHER TO DEATH BEFORE HANGING THEMSELVES IN YOUR BLOCKY LITTLE COTTAGE!
BUT NO.
HOW YOU WANT MAKE FRIENDS QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT
KIDNAP
MAKE OUT OF CLAY LIKE MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE
MAKE OUT OF FLESH LIKE LITERARY FIGURE
MAKE OUT WITH CACTUS LIKE ACTION FIGURE
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
EVE ONLINE+1
ISK SHALL BE HIS FRIEND
+1EVE ONLINE+1
ISK SHALL BE HIS FRIEND
+1+1EVE ONLINE+1
ISK SHALL BE HIS FRIEND
Ugh, can't we just take him to Vegas like normal parents? HE NEEDZ DAPPERTUDE. NOT TO BE A NERD.+1+1EVE ONLINE+1
ISK SHALL BE HIS FRIEND
you really want to brake him?FUCKWe are really trying to break piecewise on this one, and I think we might be succeeding.
YOU ALL WANT FRIENDS BUT YOU ALL WANT THEM IN DIFFERENT WAYS
FUCK
I WANTED MINES CRAFT BECAUSE THEN I COULD MAKE FUNNY HAHA JOKE ABOUT A BOOTLEG EASTERN EUROPEAN MINECRAFT WHERE EVERYTHING IS IN GRAY AND THE CREEPERS TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME THEIR FATHER BEAT THEIR MOTHER TO DEATH BEFORE HANGING THEMSELVES IN YOUR BLOCKY LITTLE COTTAGE!
BUT NO.
HOW YOU WANT MAKE FRIENDS QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT
KIDNAP
MAKE OUT OF CLAY LIKE MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE
MAKE OUT OF FLESH LIKE LITERARY FIGURE
MAKE OUT WITH CACTUS LIKE ACTION FIGURE
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
+1you really want to brake him?FUCKWe are really trying to break piecewise on this one, and I think we might be succeeding.
YOU ALL WANT FRIENDS BUT YOU ALL WANT THEM IN DIFFERENT WAYS
FUCK
I WANTED MINES CRAFT BECAUSE THEN I COULD MAKE FUNNY HAHA JOKE ABOUT A BOOTLEG EASTERN EUROPEAN MINECRAFT WHERE EVERYTHING IS IN GRAY AND THE CREEPERS TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME THEIR FATHER BEAT THEIR MOTHER TO DEATH BEFORE HANGING THEMSELVES IN YOUR BLOCKY LITTLE COTTAGE!
BUT NO.
HOW YOU WANT MAKE FRIENDS QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT
KIDNAP
MAKE OUT OF CLAY LIKE MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE
MAKE OUT OF FLESH LIKE LITERARY FIGURE
MAKE OUT WITH CACTUS LIKE ACTION FIGURE
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
All four. we make him a friend out of all four means. he gets to chose which one he likes the best. they get to the end of the year to impress him, or their head explodes. Gantz style.
+0.9+1you really want to brake him?FUCKWe are really trying to break piecewise on this one, and I think we might be succeeding.
YOU ALL WANT FRIENDS BUT YOU ALL WANT THEM IN DIFFERENT WAYS
FUCK
I WANTED MINES CRAFT BECAUSE THEN I COULD MAKE FUNNY HAHA JOKE ABOUT A BOOTLEG EASTERN EUROPEAN MINECRAFT WHERE EVERYTHING IS IN GRAY AND THE CREEPERS TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME THEIR FATHER BEAT THEIR MOTHER TO DEATH BEFORE HANGING THEMSELVES IN YOUR BLOCKY LITTLE COTTAGE!
BUT NO.
HOW YOU WANT MAKE FRIENDS QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT
KIDNAP
MAKE OUT OF CLAY LIKE MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE
MAKE OUT OF FLESH LIKE LITERARY FIGURE
MAKE OUT WITH CACTUS LIKE ACTION FIGURE
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
All four. we make him a friend out of all four means. he gets to chose which one he likes the best. they get to the end of the year to impress him, or their head explodes. Gantz style.
+1.1+0.9+1you really want to brake him?FUCKWe are really trying to break piecewise on this one, and I think we might be succeeding.
YOU ALL WANT FRIENDS BUT YOU ALL WANT THEM IN DIFFERENT WAYS
FUCK
I WANTED MINES CRAFT BECAUSE THEN I COULD MAKE FUNNY HAHA JOKE ABOUT A BOOTLEG EASTERN EUROPEAN MINECRAFT WHERE EVERYTHING IS IN GRAY AND THE CREEPERS TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME THEIR FATHER BEAT THEIR MOTHER TO DEATH BEFORE HANGING THEMSELVES IN YOUR BLOCKY LITTLE COTTAGE!
BUT NO.
HOW YOU WANT MAKE FRIENDS QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT
KIDNAP
MAKE OUT OF CLAY LIKE MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE
MAKE OUT OF FLESH LIKE LITERARY FIGURE
MAKE OUT WITH CACTUS LIKE ACTION FIGURE
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
All four. we make him a friend out of all four means. he gets to chose which one he likes the best. they get to the end of the year to impress him, or their head explodes. Gantz style.
1+ NO EVE PLEASE!+1.1+0.9+1you really want to brake him?FUCKWe are really trying to break piecewise on this one, and I think we might be succeeding.
YOU ALL WANT FRIENDS BUT YOU ALL WANT THEM IN DIFFERENT WAYS
FUCK
I WANTED MINES CRAFT BECAUSE THEN I COULD MAKE FUNNY HAHA JOKE ABOUT A BOOTLEG EASTERN EUROPEAN MINECRAFT WHERE EVERYTHING IS IN GRAY AND THE CREEPERS TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME THEIR FATHER BEAT THEIR MOTHER TO DEATH BEFORE HANGING THEMSELVES IN YOUR BLOCKY LITTLE COTTAGE!
BUT NO.
HOW YOU WANT MAKE FRIENDS QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT
KIDNAP
MAKE OUT OF CLAY LIKE MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE
MAKE OUT OF FLESH LIKE LITERARY FIGURE
MAKE OUT WITH CACTUS LIKE ACTION FIGURE
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
All four. we make him a friend out of all four means. he gets to chose which one he likes the best. they get to the end of the year to impress him, or their head explodes. Gantz style.
+1 with his terrible lack of business skills at the moment he would go broke before he could learn anything. We get him some above average skills, and THEN let him lose upon EVE.1+ NO EVE PLEASE!+1.1+0.9+1you really want to brake him?FUCKWe are really trying to break piecewise on this one, and I think we might be succeeding.
YOU ALL WANT FRIENDS BUT YOU ALL WANT THEM IN DIFFERENT WAYS
FUCK
I WANTED MINES CRAFT BECAUSE THEN I COULD MAKE FUNNY HAHA JOKE ABOUT A BOOTLEG EASTERN EUROPEAN MINECRAFT WHERE EVERYTHING IS IN GRAY AND THE CREEPERS TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME THEIR FATHER BEAT THEIR MOTHER TO DEATH BEFORE HANGING THEMSELVES IN YOUR BLOCKY LITTLE COTTAGE!
BUT NO.
HOW YOU WANT MAKE FRIENDS QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT
KIDNAP
MAKE OUT OF CLAY LIKE MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE
MAKE OUT OF FLESH LIKE LITERARY FIGURE
MAKE OUT WITH CACTUS LIKE ACTION FIGURE
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
All four. we make him a friend out of all four means. he gets to chose which one he likes the best. they get to the end of the year to impress him, or their head explodes. Gantz style.
+3.14+1 with his terrible lack of business skills at the moment he would go broke before he could learn anything. We get him some above average skills, and THEN let him lose upon EVE.1+ NO EVE PLEASE!+1.1+0.9+1you really want to brake him?FUCKWe are really trying to break piecewise on this one, and I think we might be succeeding.
YOU ALL WANT FRIENDS BUT YOU ALL WANT THEM IN DIFFERENT WAYS
FUCK
I WANTED MINES CRAFT BECAUSE THEN I COULD MAKE FUNNY HAHA JOKE ABOUT A BOOTLEG EASTERN EUROPEAN MINECRAFT WHERE EVERYTHING IS IN GRAY AND THE CREEPERS TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME THEIR FATHER BEAT THEIR MOTHER TO DEATH BEFORE HANGING THEMSELVES IN YOUR BLOCKY LITTLE COTTAGE!
BUT NO.
HOW YOU WANT MAKE FRIENDS QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT
KIDNAP
MAKE OUT OF CLAY LIKE MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE
MAKE OUT OF FLESH LIKE LITERARY FIGURE
MAKE OUT WITH CACTUS LIKE ACTION FIGURE
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
All four. we make him a friend out of all four means. he gets to chose which one he likes the best. they get to the end of the year to impress him, or their head explodes. Gantz style.
R.I.P. Piecewise
~August 14th, 2005 - January 30th, 2014
no tcm
piecewise has only become alive
kya ha ha~~
Make him a robot friend, install a anti rebellion chip in it though.+1
Let him make the friend. we tried our part. he needs to grow up and be a man. if not agreed on. +1Make him a robot friend, install a anti rebellion chip in it though.+1
Have him make the robot friend.Let him make the friend. we tried our part. he needs to grow up and be a man. if not agreed on. +1Make him a robot friend, install a anti rebellion chip in it though.+1
Use our newfound powers as Dad the White to send Grate on a epic quest!+1
SONOFABIIITCH+1 screw robots, he needs some lady friends!
Now,
TO VEGAS! FLIRT WITH LADIES! COUNT CARDS! EARN MONIES!
Use our newfound powers as Dad the White to send Grate on a epic quest!+1
Maybe get him a rival who'll challenge him several times across the journey?This makes me think that, when he turns ten, we should send Grate to wander the world and become a Pokemon master.
Use our newfound powers as Dad the White to send Grate on a epic quest!+1
Leave him stranded in Mexico with a weeks worth of food and a map
the quest begins
+1. More specifically, send him to rob a church. Sending a little boy into a priest's lair is almost the same as sending a hobbit to steal from a dragon.Use our newfound powers as Dad the White to send Grate on a epic quest!+1
+1+1. More specifically, send him to rob a church. Sending a little boy into a priest's lair is almost the same as sending a hobbit to steal from a dragon.Use our newfound powers as Dad the White to send Grate on a epic quest!+1
Shit. Grate has no dappertude or sporties, and negative businessness.
We need to enroll him in some sport that involves both fashion and business.
Hmm. Some version of rugby where they have to wear tuxedos and buy/sell rules?
Shit. Grate has no dappertude or sporties, and negative businessness.FTFY
We need to invent some sport that involves both fashion and business.
Hmm. Some version of rugby where they have to wear tuxedos and buy/sell rules?
Shit. Grate has no dappertude or sporties, and negative businessness.
We need to enroll him in some sport that involves both fashion and business.
Hmm. Some version of rugby where they have to wear tuxedos and buy/sell rules?
((FUCK GUYS. ITS NOT LIKE I SUGGESTED A FIX FOR THIS OR ANYTHING.))
BRING GRATE TO VEGAS. FUCK BITCHES. GET MONEY.dappertude and businessness
Shit. Grate has no dappertude or sporties, and negative businessness.We could send him to hang out with Tommy Wiseau, so he can play football in a tuxedo for reasons that no one but Tommy Wiseau understands.
We need to enroll him in some sport that involves both fashion and business.
Hmm. Some version of rugby where they have to wear tuxedos and buy/sell rules?
Drop Grate from space into a game of anti- gravity bloodbowl!
Fix your title so I know this has updated since the bear turn!
:P
...Unceeded? As opposed to inceeded?
You have lived down to my expectations, and perhaps unceeded them. Congrats.
Wouldn't that be outceeded? What's the opposite of super- ?...Unceeded? As opposed to inceeded?
You have lived down to my expectations, and perhaps unceeded them. Congrats.
I was looking for the opposite of "ex-". "Re-" or "in-" might have worked better.You could have used "fallen below them."
Too much words. Prefixes are the new conjunctions.I was looking for the opposite of "ex-". "Re-" or "in-" might have worked better.You could have used "fallen below them."
Or "not even met them."
I wish you hadn't met my expectations. That would have been a good thing.I was looking for the opposite of "ex-". "Re-" or "in-" might have worked better.You could have used "fallen below them."
Or "not even met them."
Well, it sounded like you were trying for the opposite of "exceeded", which would be "not met".I wish you hadn't met my expectations. That would have been a good thing.I was looking for the opposite of "ex-". "Re-" or "in-" might have worked better.You could have used "fallen below them."
Or "not even met them."
ONE MORE ACTIVITY UNTIL HE IS 5 YEARS OLD!Is time speeding up? He's still only 3 last I counted.
Fuck that noise. Apprentice him to James Bond. That'll get him dapper right quick.ONE MORE ACTIVITY UNTIL HE IS 5 YEARS OLD!Is time speeding up? He's still only 3 last I counted.
Also +1 to the Vegas thing so he'll finally shut up about it.
ONE MORE ACTIVITY UNTIL HE IS 5 YEARS OLD!Is time speeding up? He's still only 3 last I counted.
Also +1 to the Vegas thing so he'll finally shut up about it.
i'm still curious how this isn't the first thread where i see people asking "i don't enjoy this, why do others enjoy things i don't enjoy?"
Fuck that noise. Apprentice him to James Bond. That'll get him dapper right quick.I'll +1 this because it sounds rather untraumatising.
Much the same here.i'm still curious how this isn't the first thread where i see people asking "i don't enjoy this, why do others enjoy things i don't enjoy?"It's more "I don't enjoy this, I want to know what is different in your case that makes it enjoyable for you".
But come to think of it, asking is mostly pointless and vaugely insulting. Sorry, I should watch myself better.
We will make him best secret agent. +1Fuck that noise. Apprentice him to James Bond. That'll get him dapper right quick.I'll +1 this because it sounds rather untraumatising.
We will make him best secret agent. +1Fuck that noise. Apprentice him to James Bond. That'll get him dapper right quick.I'll +1 this because it sounds rather untraumatising.
We need to cheer Grate up and remove his depression. (Although I have to say he's a really high-functioning depressed dude.) What do semi-god children who can do lots of secret agent stuff do for fun? Uh...+1
Throw a birthday party! With cakes and frilly-bright colored stuff! Invite kids from everywhere, tell Grate to either be their friends or be their leader, tell him that he must rule with either fear or kindness and he must choose!
We need to cheer Grate up and remove his depression. (Although I have to say he's a really high-functioning depressed dude.) What do semi-god children who can do lots of secret agent stuff do for fun? Uh...Plus have a bonding moment in which you tell him that he's made you proud and that you expect greatness from him.
Throw a birthday party! With cakes and frilly-bright colored stuff! Invite kids from everywhere, tell Grate to either be their friends or be their leader, tell him that he must rule with either fear or kindness and he must choose!
+1 to birthday party and this.We need to cheer Grate up and remove his depression. (Although I have to say he's a really high-functioning depressed dude.) What do semi-god children who can do lots of secret agent stuff do for fun? Uh...Plus have a bonding moment in which you tell him that he's made you proud and that you expect greatness from him.
Throw a birthday party! With cakes and frilly-bright colored stuff! Invite kids from everywhere, tell Grate to either be their friends or be their leader, tell him that he must rule with either fear or kindness and he must choose!
Want him to be happy? Make him go build his own theme park... we get his profits, and he get's a fun place designed the way he wants where he go to anytime! Makes him happy and get better business stuff.+1
+1 We don't have the money for a theme park.+1 to birthday party and this.We need to cheer Grate up and remove his depression. (Although I have to say he's a really high-functioning depressed dude.) What do semi-god children who can do lots of secret agent stuff do for fun? Uh...Plus have a bonding moment in which you tell him that he's made you proud and that you expect greatness from him.
Throw a birthday party! With cakes and frilly-bright colored stuff! Invite kids from everywhere, tell Grate to either be their friends or be their leader, tell him that he must rule with either fear or kindness and he must choose!
+ Even more ones+1 We don't have the money for a theme park.+1 to birthday party and this.We need to cheer Grate up and remove his depression. (Although I have to say he's a really high-functioning depressed dude.) What do semi-god children who can do lots of secret agent stuff do for fun? Uh...Plus have a bonding moment in which you tell him that he's made you proud and that you expect greatness from him.
Throw a birthday party! With cakes and frilly-bright colored stuff! Invite kids from everywhere, tell Grate to either be their friends or be their leader, tell him that he must rule with either fear or kindness and he must choose!
+1 We don't have the money for a theme park.
This boy needs some discipline in his life. Enlist him into a martial arts boot camp. Tell the boot camp's staff to flick him in the nose if he starts hulking out.+1
+1!This boy needs some discipline in his life. Enlist him into a martial arts boot camp. Tell the boot camp's staff to flick him in the nose if he starts hulking out.+1
This, but make sure he has a small laptop so he can play the stock market.+1!This boy needs some discipline in his life. Enlist him into a martial arts boot camp. Tell the boot camp's staff to flick him in the nose if he starts hulking out.+1
No laptops.This, but make sure he has a small laptop so he can play the stock market.+1!This boy needs some discipline in his life. Enlist him into a martial arts boot camp. Tell the boot camp's staff to flick him in the nose if he starts hulking out.+1
+1, but needs more abuse to put the little shit in line... Hmm...This, but make sure he has a small laptop so he can play the stock market.+1!This boy needs some discipline in his life. Enlist him into a martial arts boot camp. Tell the boot camp's staff to flick him in the nose if he starts hulking out.+1
This boy needs some discipline in his life. Enlist him into a martial arts boot camp with a green man fond of yelling DODGE.+1 FTFY
Yall better think of something better then this. Cause otherwise Imma do this regardless of votes.This boy needs some discipline in his life. Enlist him into a martial arts boot camp with a green man fond of yelling DODGE.+1 FTFY
+1Yall better think of something better then this. Cause otherwise Imma do this regardless of votes.This boy needs some discipline in his life. Enlist him into a martial arts boot camp with a green man fond of yelling DODGE.+1 FTFY
+1+1Yall better think of something better then this. Cause otherwise Imma do this regardless of votes.This boy needs some discipline in his life. Enlist him into a martial arts boot camp with a green man fond of yelling DODGE.+1 FTFY
+1+1Yall better think of something better then this. Cause otherwise Imma do this regardless of votes.This boy needs some discipline in his life. Enlist him into a martial arts boot camp with a green man fond of yelling DODGE.+1 FTFY
We went all Frankenstein (twice but the second time is irrelevant) but it didn't work. Now I assume the dead god-body is still there in Grate's room why?
Goddess. The Greek goddess of magic, ghosts, and also debatably of the moon, the hunt, and maidens.We went all Frankenstein (twice but the second time is irrelevant) but it didn't work. Now I assume the dead god-body is still there in Grate's room why?
To make him revive her when he's stronger?.... Idk either. But hey! How many other kids can say they have a dead god/goddess... which one is it? Oh well, dead whatever in there room?
Resurrect Hekate, Titan of Magic and Moon!'S not a titan :(.
Actually she is a Titan but in the Titan Wars she sided with the GodsResurrect Hekate, Titan of Magic and Moon!'S not a titan :(.
Depends upon who you listen to. In some versions, especially the later Romans, Hecate is Diana's alter ego.Actually she is a Titan but in the Titan Wars she sided with the GodsResurrect Hekate, Titan of Magic and Moon!'S not a titan :(.
Revive Hekate and marry her to Grate.
Cause what could possibly go wrong?
- INFINITE STOP DOING THIS.Revive Hekate and marry her to Grate.
Cause what could possibly go wrong?
+1
Dude, he's five.- INFINITE STOP DOING THIS.Revive Hekate and marry her to Grate.
Cause what could possibly go wrong?
+1
WE WANT TO ARRANGE A MARRAIGE THAT WILL *BENEFIT* US
SO LIKE, A NOT-DEAD GODDESS WHO WE HAVEN'T ALREADY SUCKED ALL THE POWER OUT OF, I DUNNO.
Actually, Goddess Harem
Dude, he's five.- INFINITE STOP DOING THIS.Revive Hekate and marry her to Grate.
Cause what could possibly go wrong?
+1
WE WANT TO ARRANGE A MARRAIGE THAT WILL *BENEFIT* US
SO LIKE, A NOT-DEAD GODDESS WHO WE HAVEN'T ALREADY SUCKED ALL THE POWER OUT OF, I DUNNO.
Actually, Goddess Harem
... Pretty sure that would get the 5-0 on our asses. -1
Begin Operation: God Grater+1. Addendum: teach him some battlecries in backwards Greek and instruct him to drink every dead god's blood to get their powers.
Send Grate on an epic quest in which he fights every single God known to man, in order from least to most powerful, with slightly larger battles until he reaches Zeus, where they clash in an ultimate battle on mount Olympus with Grate nearly dying but being brought back from the brink by our faith in him, and defeating Zeus with his last ounce of strength.
+1 also make jerky out there flesh for when he needs a snack on his quest.Begin Operation: God Grater+1. Addendum: teach him some battlecries in backwards Greek and instruct him to drink every dead god's blood to get their powers.
Send Grate on an epic quest in which he fights every single God known to man, in order from least to most powerful, with slightly larger battles until he reaches Zeus, where they clash in an ultimate battle on mount Olympus with Grate nearly dying but being brought back from the brink by our faith in him, and defeating Zeus with his last ounce of strength.
+1 Yessssssss...+1 also make jerky out there flesh for when he needs a snack on his quest.Begin Operation: God Grater+1. Addendum: teach him some battlecries in backwards Greek and instruct him to drink every dead god's blood to get their powers.
Send Grate on an epic quest in which he fights every single God known to man, in order from least to most powerful, with slightly larger battles until he reaches Zeus, where they clash in an ultimate battle on mount Olympus with Grate nearly dying but being brought back from the brink by our faith in him, and defeating Zeus with his last ounce of strength.
+1, but have him fight Ouranous, at the end, not that pansy Zeus.+1 Yessssssss...+1 also make jerky out there flesh for when he needs a snack on his quest.Begin Operation: God Grater+1. Addendum: teach him some battlecries in backwards Greek and instruct him to drink every dead god's blood to get their powers.
Send Grate on an epic quest in which he fights every single God known to man, in order from least to most powerful, with slightly larger battles until he reaches Zeus, where they clash in an ultimate battle on mount Olympus with Grate nearly dying but being brought back from the brink by our faith in him, and defeating Zeus with his last ounce of strength.
+1 if he only kills the male gods and builds a harem out of the females.+1, but have him fight Ouranous, at the end, not that pansy Zeus.+1 Yessssssss...+1 also make jerky out there flesh for when he needs a snack on his quest.Begin Operation: God Grater+1. Addendum: teach him some battlecries in backwards Greek and instruct him to drink every dead god's blood to get their powers.
Send Grate on an epic quest in which he fights every single God known to man, in order from least to most powerful, with slightly larger battles until he reaches Zeus, where they clash in an ultimate battle on mount Olympus with Grate nearly dying but being brought back from the brink by our faith in him, and defeating Zeus with his last ounce of strength.
+1 smurfington's addendum.+1 if he only kills the male gods and builds a harem out of the females.+1, but have him fight Ouranous, at the end, not that pansy Zeus.+1 Yessssssss...+1 also make jerky out there flesh for when he needs a snack on his quest.Begin Operation: God Grater+1. Addendum: teach him some battlecries in backwards Greek and instruct him to drink every dead god's blood to get their powers.
Send Grate on an epic quest in which he fights every single God known to man, in order from least to most powerful, with slightly larger battles until he reaches Zeus, where they clash in an ultimate battle on mount Olympus with Grate nearly dying but being brought back from the brink by our faith in him, and defeating Zeus with his last ounce of strength.
Clearly our son needs to train harder before we try this again.+1 Hire Kratos to teach him! He gets girls in the first two games (idk about the 3rd or handheld ones) and he kills lots of gods!
TRAIN GRATE IN GOD-KILLING/GODDESS-TAKING TECHNIQUES
BEAT GRATE TO NEAR DEATH IN ORDER TO TRAIN ENDURANCE
REPLACE THE FUCKING WINDOWS
Clearly our son needs to train harder before we try this again.+YEAH
TRAIN GRATE IN GOD-KILLING/GODDESS-TAKING TECHNIQUES
+1Clearly our son needs to train harder before we try this again.+YEAH
TRAIN GRATE IN GOD-KILLING/GODDESS-TAKING TECHNIQUES
+1 Make sure to get some god killing badasses to teach him how to be a badass while we teach him the importance of god killing.+1Clearly our son needs to train harder before we try this again.+YEAH
TRAIN GRATE IN GOD-KILLING/GODDESS-TAKING TECHNIQUES
+1 Grate will have his awesome.+1 Make sure to get some god killing badasses to teach him how to be a badass while we teach him the importance of god killing.+1Clearly our son needs to train harder before we try this again.+YEAH
TRAIN GRATE IN GOD-KILLING/GODDESS-TAKING TECHNIQUES
+1+1 Grate will have his awesome.+1 Make sure to get some god killing badasses to teach him how to be a badass while we teach him the importance of god killing.+1Clearly our son needs to train harder before we try this again.+YEAH
TRAIN GRATE IN GOD-KILLING/GODDESS-TAKING TECHNIQUES
+1+1+1 Grate will have his awesome.+1 Make sure to get some god killing badasses to teach him how to be a badass while we teach him the importance of god killing.+1Clearly our son needs to train harder before we try this again.+YEAH
TRAIN GRATE IN GOD-KILLING/GODDESS-TAKING TECHNIQUES
Take over the planet. Have Grate become the God-King of mankind.1+ dis shiz
Take over the planet. Have Grate become the God-King of mankind.
+999999Take over the planet. Have Grate become the God-King of mankind.
+1
Who knows, going down this path, the Warhammer 40000 universe might be created.
I'd like to offer a compromise that would satisfy both those who want to display Grate's dominance and those who want to train his businessness:+1
Buy Grate a hat, a fur coat and a cane as reward for his heroic deeds. Teach him to, ah, monetize his new harem.
Do it with him. Like a bonding father and son activity. Something to make him happy. We need to be close to our future master of everything.I'd like to offer a compromise that would satisfy both those who want to display Grate's dominance and those who want to train his businessness:+1
Buy Grate a hat, a fur coat and a cane as reward for his heroic deeds. Teach him to, ah, monetize his new harem.
+1Take over the planet. Have Grate become the God-King of mankind.
+1
Who knows, going down this path, the Warhammer 40000 universe might be created.
+999999
+40000+999999Take over the planet. Have Grate become the God-King of mankind.
+1
Who knows, going down this path, the Warhammer 40000 universe might be created.
OH. MY. GOD. THIS SUGGESTION HAS+40000+999999Take over the planet. Have Grate become the God-King of mankind.
+1
Who knows, going down this path, the Warhammer 40000 universe might be created.
+1.... 5 years old we're making him the king of the earth.... niiiiiiice.OH. MY. GOD. THIS SUGGESTION HAS+40000+999999Take over the planet. Have Grate become the God-King of mankind.
+1
Who knows, going down this path, the Warhammer 40000 universe might be created.
OVER 9,000
+1's. And I'll ad another.
+1, now lets try to not do a horus heresy for this one.+1.... 5 years old we're making him the king of the earth.... niiiiiiice.OH. MY. GOD. THIS SUGGESTION HAS+40000+999999Take over the planet. Have Grate become the God-King of mankind.
+1
Who knows, going down this path, the Warhammer 40000 universe might be created.
OVER 9,000
+1's. And I'll ad another.
Calling Hecate for Horus.+1, now lets try to not do a horus heresy for this one.+1.... 5 years old we're making him the king of the earth.... niiiiiiice.OH. MY. GOD. THIS SUGGESTION HAS+40000+999999Take over the planet. Have Grate become the God-King of mankind.
+1
Who knows, going down this path, the Warhammer 40000 universe might be created.
OVER 9,000
+1's. And I'll ad another.
If we are going on this line of thought we should set our self up as God-Emperor, with our son being ALL the primarchs. Who will then turn out to be Horus.Calling Hecate for Horus.+1, now lets try to not do a horus heresy for this one.+1.... 5 years old we're making him the king of the earth.... niiiiiiice.OH. MY. GOD. THIS SUGGESTION HAS+40000+999999Take over the planet. Have Grate become the God-King of mankind.
+1
Who knows, going down this path, the Warhammer 40000 universe might be created.
OVER 9,000
+1's. And I'll ad another.
No, Grate is the god-emperor. He is the only god left.And he won't need to be saved by some imperial guardsmen. He will triumph through the sheer power of the die.
Also, Horus would get his shit kicked by Grate.
And what do we send in as an excuse to his school? "I'm sorry Grate couldn't attend, he was busy assaulting Olympus and stealing all their wives?"
+1 Even though I don't support prostitution, I want to stop this thread from being choked in 40k references.Do it with him. Like a bonding father and son activity. Something to make him happy. We need to be close to our future master of everything.I'd like to offer a compromise that would satisfy both those who want to display Grate's dominance and those who want to train his businessness:+1
Buy Grate a hat, a fur coat and a cane as reward for his heroic deeds. Teach him to, ah, monetize his new harem.
Idk what 40k is but the sound of our spawn becomeing the God-King-Emperor-President-Prime Minister-Czar-Pharaoh-Chief-Ruler of the world sounds awesome.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warhammer_40,000
No, it's 40,000. Besides, where are all the references? Theres only been one.No, we had a Quote Monolith, too.
If we are going on this line of thought we should set our self up as God-Emperor, with our son being ALL the primarchs. Who will then turn out to be Horus.Calling Hecate for Horus.+1, now lets try to not do a horus heresy for this one.+1.... 5 years old we're making him the king of the earth.... niiiiiiice.OH. MY. GOD. THIS SUGGESTION HAS+40000+999999Take over the planet. Have Grate become the God-King of mankind.
+1
Who knows, going down this path, the Warhammer 40000 universe might be created.
OVER 9,000
+1's. And I'll ad another.
I still think we should do a father and son activity.+1
Go to Hollywood and fish together for studios willing to finance a movie starring our son as the protagonist and his harem for every other part. And make sure they film it in 3D! Or 4D!
Send Grate to school, in full power armor.
Send Grate to school, in full power armor.
"Alright class, who invented the lightbulb?"Send Grate to school, in full power armor.
+1
He gots to get his learnings.
And the other kids have to know who is the rightful ruler of mankind.
drr drr"Alright class, who invented the lightbulb?"Send Grate to school, in full power armor.
+1
He gots to get his learnings.
And the other kids have to know who is the rightful ruler of mankind.
"I DID."
+1Send Grate to school, in full power armor.
+1
He gots to get his learnings.
And the other kids have to know who is the rightful ruler of mankind.
+1drr drr"Alright class, who invented the lightbulb?"Send Grate to school, in full power armor, with his goddess harem.
+1
He gots to get his learnings.
And the other kids have to know who is the rightful ruler of mankind.
"I DID."
"Hiya, this is one of the teachers from kindergarten, I'm afraid little Grate's been making some trouble."
"Ooh, has he killed anyone yet?"
"... No? Er, he's just being claiming that everyone is below him and that all that can be seen is his. I think the little tyke's got a little pride problem there!"
"Claiming? IT IS HIS. HE IS THE GOD EMPEROR OF MANKIND. YOU SHALL PAY FOR THIS. HECATE, UNLEASH THE HOUNDS."
drr drrSigged
"Hiya, this is one of the teachers from kindergarten, I'm afraid little Grate's been making some trouble."
"Ooh, has he killed anyone yet?"
"... No? Er, he's just being claiming that everyone is below him and that all that can be seen is his. I think the little tyke's got a little pride problem there!"
"Claiming? IT IS HIS. HE IS THE GOD EMPEROR OF MANKIND. YOU SHALL PAY FOR THIS. HECATE, UNLEASH THE HOUNDS."
Aw, shit. That didn't work.
Well, at least we have a miniaturized power armor god-killing child.
Equip Grate with a Power Sword. Send him on another quest to absorb the philosophical and spiritual power of Ghandi, to help make our child the Chosen One. Do this bybooting him out of a planeparachuting him into the Himalayas, and telling him to come home when he's absorbed Ghandi's power. However he plans to do that.
I still think we should do a father and son activity.
Like fishing together.
For sharks. With our bare, wounded, bleeding hands.
Send Grate to school, in full power armor.+1's to all these things.
+1Aw, shit. That didn't work.
Well, at least we have a miniaturized power armor god-killing child.
Equip Grate with a Power Sword. Send him on another quest to absorb the philosophical and spiritual power of Ghandi, to help make our child the Chosen One. Do this bybooting him out of a planeparachuting him into the Himalayas, and telling him to come home when he's absorbed Ghandi's power. However he plans to do that.I still think we should do a father and son activity.
Like fishing together.
For sharks. With our bare, wounded, bleeding hands.Send Grate to school, in full power armor.+1's to all these things.
+1+1Aw, shit. That didn't work.
Well, at least we have a miniaturized power armor god-killing child.
Equip Grate with a Power Sword. Send him on another quest to absorb the philosophical and spiritual power of Ghandi, to help make our child the Chosen One. Do this bybooting him out of a planeparachuting him into the Himalayas, and telling him to come home when he's absorbed Ghandi's power. However he plans to do that.I still think we should do a father and son activity.
Like fishing together.
For sharks. With our bare, wounded, bleeding hands.Send Grate to school, in full power armor.+1's to all these things.
Tell Grate not to come home until he has invented FTL travel and taken his new army to victory in the conquest of an alien world.
Genetically mutate them with the power of the Dark Gods of Business. The demigods shall be the ones best versed in business theory and economics.Tell Grate not to come home until he has invented FTL travel and taken his new army to victory in the conquest of an alien world.
Also, train his army of minions into a dominant force of genetically mutated beings that are super-enhanced soldiers, and name them the "Thunderhawks". Select twenty of them to be Grate's best soldiers and demi-gods, and have them lead the army of Grate the God-Emperor.
+1Genetically mutate them with the power of the Dark Gods of Business. The demigods shall be the ones best versed in business theory and economics.Tell Grate not to come home until he has invented FTL travel and taken his new army to victory in the conquest of an alien world.
Also, train his army of minions into a dominant force of genetically mutated beings that are super-enhanced soldiers, and name them the "Thunderhawks". Select twenty of them to be Grate's best soldiers and demi-gods, and have them lead the army of Grate the God-Emperor.
+1+1Genetically mutate them with the power of the Dark Gods of Business. The demigods shall be the ones best versed in business theory and economics.Tell Grate not to come home until he has invented FTL travel and taken his new army to victory in the conquest of an alien world.
Also, train his army of minions into a dominant force of genetically mutated beings that are super-enhanced soldiers, and name them the "Thunderhawks". Select twenty of them to be Grate's best soldiers and demi-gods, and have them lead the army of Grate the God-Emperor.
+1, but the best businessmen and economists instead of theory.Genetically mutate them with the power of the Dark Gods of Business. The demigods shall be the ones best versed in business theory and economics.Tell Grate not to come home until he has invented FTL travel and taken his new army to victory in the conquest of an alien world.
Also, train his army of minions into a dominant force of genetically mutated beings that are super-enhanced soldiers, and name them the "Thunderhawks". Select twenty of them to be Grate's best soldiers and demi-gods, and have them lead the army of Grate the God-Emperor.
Schooliouses: The stat controlling how well your child does on standardized testing, scores on report cards and other school activities. Making her do summer school, memorize 12000 digits of pi, and write an essay on the cultural implications of the overuse of the word “Ichor” raise this.And drinking the blood of gods and starting cults of personality, apparently.
+1+1Genetically mutate them with the power of the Dark Gods of Business. The demigods shall be the ones best versed in business theory and economics.Tell Grate not to come home until he has invented FTL travel and taken his new army to victory in the conquest of an alien world.
Also, train his army of minions into a dominant force of genetically mutated beings that are super-enhanced soldiers, and name them the "Thunderhawks". Select twenty of them to be Grate's best soldiers and demi-gods, and have them lead the army of Grate the God-Emperor.
Hmm. Somehow I don't think Warhammah is workin' out...This is a reference to something. It has to be.
Have Grate try to create a revolutionary government/movement in our economically floundering US, where he then gets arrested and thrown on jail. Have him write a book about it where he blames the Mexicans because they took all our jobs and undermined our work ethics. Have him call it 'My Story'.
Bonus points if the book is in German.
((Stage one is set...))
Train Grate to be the younger version of Old Man Henderson+1. Give him some Irish Potato Whiskey.
(He's got the god-killing part down, but there's other aspects that need to be built up as well.)
He is obviously doing a Hitler. -1Hmm. Somehow I don't think Warhammah is workin' out...This is a reference to something. It has to be.
Have Grate try to create a revolutionary government/movement in our economically floundering US, where he then gets arrested and thrown on jail. Have him write a book about it where he blames the Mexicans because they took all our jobs and undermined our work ethics. Have him call it 'My Story'.
Bonus points if the book is in German.
((Stage one is set...))
Fuck if I know what though -1!
+1 Teach him to pretend to have been in Vietnam.Train Grate to be the younger version of Old Man Henderson+1. Give him some Irish Potato Whiskey.
(He's got the god-killing part down, but there's other aspects that need to be built up as well.)
+1 Actually stage a god to kidnap his lawn gnomes.+1 Teach him to pretend to have been in Vietnam.Train Grate to be the younger version of Old Man Henderson+1. Give him some Irish Potato Whiskey.
(He's got the god-killing part down, but there's other aspects that need to be built up as well.)
Teach him to pretend to have been in Vietnam.
Make Grate build a TARDIS.Teach him to pretend to have been in Vietnam.
He's too young for that. He'd need to have gained time travel from one of the gods and/or stole the Doctor's TARDIS or the Back to the Future Delorean.
+1+1 Actually stage a god to kidnap his lawn gnomes.+1 Teach him to pretend to have been in Vietnam.Train Grate to be the younger version of Old Man Henderson+1. Give him some Irish Potato Whiskey.
(He's got the god-killing part down, but there's other aspects that need to be built up as well.)
He is obviously doing a Hitler. -1((Wow, I dunno how I missed that :P
Well lets fucking see what one of those is.
Let me just type that in and...wow thats a lot of text and it is...4:30 in the morning. Welcome to a new Lets Skim with piecewise. AHhhhhhhyeah, thats a guy. He did stuff. Shotgun. Irish accent. Shooting a shoggoth. I don't think that would work but whatever. I don't know. I'm gonna throw a dice at it and see what happens.
Send Grate to the university. The Unseen Univeristy.I stand by my previous suggestion. We need to grind his Schooliouses to make up for his permanently crippled Businessness. Besides, throwing him into the same castle with power-hungry, poison-happy, catastrophe-causing wizards seems like a good survival training.
Well, that's not ominous at all.+1. Like I said, we need to spend some quality time together.
Go see a movie with Grate. Buy popcorn. Be quiet while the movie is playing. Stay for the credits. throw out your trash afterwards. Finally, explain the economics of how movie theaters make money and why they want people to buy concessions. As well as why the concessions are priced so high.
Next, take Grate to a church service, sit in the back, be quiet during the service. finally, explain to him where churches get their income, how they interact with taxes in comparison to other organizations, and what people are actually paying them for and why.
Next, a theme park, go on rides, watch people embarrass themselves, try strange deserts. and once again, end it all with a detailed economics explanation, why people pay so much to get to stand in line, why the food is extra expensive, why some things are labeled as the parks and others seem to be other businesses, and how the employees of the two interact. why theme parks have to worry so much about having a well-designed parking lot, and the hidden costs to getting and maintaining one. etc etc etc.
Next, natural parks, and the costs to maintining and protecting wildlife, undeveloped land, as well as developing on rough terrain with minimal changes to the landscape.
Next, sports arenas and sports games.
Next, Theatre and music halls.
Next...
Next...
N...
...
...
...zzz
+1Send Grate to the university. The Unseen Univeristy.I stand by my previous suggestion. We need to grind his Schooliouses to make up for his permanently crippled Businessness. Besides, throwing him into the same castle with power-hungry, poison-happy, catastrophe-causing wizards seems like a good survival training.
Make Grate build a TARDIS.
Wat? So it's okay to make Grate the God-Emperor to whom 1000's of people are sacrificed daily, but Hitler is crossing a boundary?
Have Grate make a monotheistic religion with him as the prophet. Convince millions to follow His teachings, and then lead them to invade China and jump start WWIII so that Grate can rule the world easier.
+1+1Send Grate to the university. The Unseen Univeristy.I stand by my previous suggestion. We need to grind his Schooliouses to make up for his permanently crippled Businessness. Besides, throwing him into the same castle with power-hungry, poison-happy, catastrophe-causing wizards seems like a good survival training.
or my previous suggestion:Make Grate build a TARDIS.
Force Grate to make a TARDIS, and use it to conquer theAmbition is important.worldUniverse!
Force Grate to make a TARDIS, and use it to conquer the world!
Force Grate to make a TARDIS, and use it to conquer the world!YAY HE'S NOT A RETARDIS.
Have Grate make a monotheistic religion with him as the prophet. Convince millions to follow His teachings, and then lead them to invade China and jump start WWIII so that Grate can rule the world easier.
Force Grate to make a TARDIS, and use it to conquer the world!YAY HE'S NOT A RETARDIS.
LOL
Have Grate make a monotheistic religion with him as the prophet. Convince millions to follow His teachings, and then lead them to invade China and jump start WWIII so that Grate can rule the world easier.
SUGGEST THIS
If this is the case, then he is an nutjob. Look how many of those figures had conflicting goals!!!Force Grate to make a TARDIS, and use it to conquer the world!YAY HE'S NOT A RETARDIS.
LOL
Have Grate make a monotheistic religion with him as the prophet. Convince millions to follow His teachings, and then lead them to invade China and jump start WWIII so that Grate can rule the world easier.
SUGGEST THIS
I would just like to note, Whitius, but that is already the case. He has replaced every major historical figure with himself. He is now the messiah of every major religion, and indeed probably the religious leader of those religions several times over.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!!!
Any establishment of such an organization would designate its founder as a major figure. All major figures are now Grate. If they exist, they probably won't attack their own founder.I like the way every time travel mess up can be resolved with circular reasoning.
ring ring"Jesus, what do the cops even do, then?"
"Hello, is this the police?"
"Yes ma'am, what's the problem?"
"This demonic child is going around the place smashing buildings, killing gods, messing with the time-space continuum..."
"Sorry miss, but I think you've mistaken me for someone who gives a flying fuck."
TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSEWell, most of the Grates have died sometime in the past, and they're only major historical figures, so there are probably only a few thousand of them alive at most. And even if we gathered them up or whatever, they all have different ideologies and goals and some of them have such strong egos that I don't see how leading an army of them would be any easier than just building up an army of ordinary people.
We must have a few million Grates on earth now, right? Thats easily enough to take over the universe.
Make Grate hunt down his traitorous mother and bring her on a spikeI bet she hangs out with Johnny Quest and the Venture Brother's moms.
WAIT ONE FUCKING MOMENTOH GOD! BY THAT LOGIC SO IS MOM THE ABSENT!
CONSIDERING DAD THE WHITE MADE GRATE
THAT MAKES HIM IMPORTANT
SO DAD THE WHITE IS ACTUALLY GRATE!
WHAT A TWIST!
See. I told you. Fuckery. I don't need to say anything. You guys will boil your own brains with temporal stuff.
This is why I made that one game once. The one about time travel with the Proto-steve. Once time travel gets invented everything is fucked forever. Forever in both directions.
You eat the sub, then you walk into the store."Man that sub was delicious, oh wait, my orders ready!
Meanwhile, on time fuckery, is this universe's time flux-time (changable time lines) or fixed time?
One means Dad the White has just become Grate whereas Dad the White was always Grate in the latter.
The latter also explains why the cops don't give a rats ass, its because historical figures worldwide needed Grate to go back in time to be them.
TD:LR FUCK TIME TRAVEL
Then what does that bit about in both directions mean?
Make Grate hunt down his traitorous mother and bring her on a spike+1
+1Make Grate hunt down his traitorous mother and bring her on a spike+1
-1+1Make Grate hunt down his traitorous mother and bring her on a spike+1
-1-1+1Make Grate hunt down his traitorous mother and bring her on a spike+1
HAVE GRATE UNDO THE TEMPORAL TIME FUCKERY SO MY HEAD WILL STOP HURTING+1
Zap until I find some kind of comedy show. All this talk of doom and imminant invasion requires some brainless entertainment.You flick to some sort of sitcom about a dad attempting to raise his son and the various antics and situations they get into. Did his son just kill zeus? And invent time travel? This series seems very unbalanced.
-1-1-1+1Make Grate hunt down his traitorous mother and bring her on a spike+1
-1-1-1-1+1Make Grate hunt down his traitorous mother and bring her on a spike+1
Become a major historical figure.So what you're saying is... we should become great? *rimshot*
Yep.Become a major historical figure.So what you're saying is... we should become great? *rimshot*
+1+1Make Grate hunt down his traitorous mother and bring her on a spike+1
Actually, if time travel was every invented, very partof the availavble universe would be filled by things from the future, evryone would be so densly packed the entire universe would become a black hole.Then what does that bit about in both directions mean?
The second time travel is invented, it instantaneously begins to exist everywhere in the future as well as everywhere in the past, because it allows anyone to travel to any of those points and, given enough time, they will.
So, I invent time travel on tuesday. And then, on thursday I decide to travel back to 1980 and invest in microsoft stock or something. Great, now timetravel technology exists in 1980, 34 years before it was invented. So now causality is fucked. So I trade the details of my time machine to some guy for a hotdog and he time travels into the future, meanwhile, someone else who bought the time machine I invented in present time travels even farther into the past and uses his technology to rule a preindustrial tribe as a god. After he dies of orgy overdose, one of them get in and travel far into the future, beyond a nuclear war that would have otherwise wiped out the time travel tech.
Now, what this means is that, the second I created the time machine it began to exist in several points in time both in the past and future.
Now imagine we have 50 time machines. Imagine they're all popping in and out of time, changing things. Now nothing is stable and the past and future are altering uncontrollably and physicists are weeping.
EVERYTHING IS FUCKED FOREVER.
I DON'T EVEN SEE ANY SUGGESTION THAT HAS MORE THEN ONE VOTE! TRY HARDER FOOLS!
Actually, the dimensions with dimension-hopping tech tend to greatly outnumber those that don't. Which doesn't help much when an infinite amount of versions of the dimension-hopping universe hop to exactly the same place and form a black hole. Yeah, we're gonna need to work out interdimensional messaging first.No because infinite means infinite there's no end and so you can't say any dimensions have more of something, because it haven't ended yet, so that means every universe, instantly, bam.
Invent Spiral Power, it's not like things can get worse.+1
Bay12 is amazing. With funding, all of us combined could probably work as well as a team of scientists. Insane, yes, but still scientists.Would we live someplace where common place morality and ethics don't apply? Otherwise we wouldn't get much done I think.
Bay12 is amazing. With funding, all of us combined could probably work as well as a team of scientists. Insane, yes, but still scientists.But the only thing we'd do is work out multiplayer dwarf fortress.
Aaand and that increases not a single fucking stat.That. Except with everything based around economics and have all the other people as large business owners, brokers, corporate lawyers and/or share traders.
Shit.
Tell Grate to stop breaking all the fucking windows. Then, bring him on an Epic quest where we get a gold ring that brings doom upon the world, and we team up with a dwarf, two humans, an elf, and another seven year old that can be Grate'spack slavefriend, and we have to travel up a volcano and throw the ring into the fire.hopefully that little shit Gollum won't show up this time.
This will increase Survivalous and Sporties, hopefully.
Aaand and that increases not a single fucking stat.+1
Shit.
Tell Grate to stop breaking all the fucking windows. Then, bring him on an Epic quest where we get a gold ring that brings doom upon the world, and we team up with a dwarf, two humans, an elf, and another seven year old that can be Grate'spack slavefriend, and we have to travel up a volcano and throw the ring into the fire.hopefully that little shit Gollum won't show up this time.
This will increase Survivalous and Sporties, hopefully.
+1, but fuck the companions, lets take the goddess harem instead.Aaand and that increases not a single fucking stat.+1
Shit.
Tell Grate to stop breaking all the fucking windows. Then, bring him on an Epic quest where we get a gold ring that brings doom upon the world, and we team up with a dwarf, two humans, an elf, and another seven year old that can be Grate'spack slavefriend, and we have to travel up a volcano and throw the ring into the fire.hopefully that little shit Gollum won't show up this time.
This will increase Survivalous and Sporties, hopefully.
+1+1, but fuck the companions, lets take the goddess harem instead.Aaand and that increases not a single fucking stat.+1
Shit.
Tell Grate to stop breaking all the fucking windows. Then, bring him on an Epic quest where we get a gold ring that brings doom upon the world, and we team up with a dwarf, two humans, an elf, and another seven year old that can be Grate'spack slavefriend, and we have to travel up a volcano and throw the ring into the fire.hopefully that little shit Gollum won't show up this time.
This will increase Survivalous and Sporties, hopefully.
+1+1+1, but fuck the companions, lets take the goddess harem instead.Aaand and that increases not a single fucking stat.+1
Shit.
Tell Grate to stop breaking all the fucking windows. Then, bring him on an Epic quest where we get a gold ring that brings doom upon the world, and we team up with a dwarf, two humans, an elf, and another seven year old that can be Grate'spack slavefriend, and we have to travel up a volcano and throw the ring into the fire.hopefully that little shit Gollum won't show up this time.
This will increase Survivalous and Sporties, hopefully.
Aaand and that increases not a single fucking stat.IT INCREASED DETERMINATIONAL YOU BLIND BASTARD
Shit.
Tell Grate to stop breaking all the fucking windows. Then, bring him on an Epic quest where we get a gold ring that brings doom upon the world, and we team up with a dwarf, two humans, an elf, and another seven year old that can be Grate'spack slavefriend, and we have to travel up a volcano and throw the ring into the fire.hopefully that little shit Gollum won't show up this time.
This will increase Survivalous and Sporties, hopefully.
There is only one thing left to be done now!
Have Grate swear vengeance on d6s everywhere for this treachery.
No. Have Grate design a D3, and make sure every game uses them for everything.There is only one thing left to be done now!
Have Grate swear vengeance on d6s everywhere for this treachery.
+1 and have Grate burn down every single fucking place that is remotely connected to the usage of d6's. d12's shall rise!
+1. Have Grate invent Dingens and Dorgons, a game that uses only D3.No. Have Grate design a D3, and make sure every game uses them for everything.There is only one thing left to be done now!
Have Grate swear vengeance on d6s everywhere for this treachery.
+1 and have Grate burn down every single fucking place that is remotely connected to the usage of d6's. d12's shall rise!
Sounds like a pen and paper Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.+1. Have Grate invent Dingens and Dorgons, a game that uses only D3.No. Have Grate design a D3, and make sure every game uses them for everything.There is only one thing left to be done now!
Have Grate swear vengeance on d6s everywhere for this treachery.
+1 and have Grate burn down every single fucking place that is remotely connected to the usage of d6's. d12's shall rise!
+1No. Have Grate design a D3, and make sure every game uses them for everything.There is only one thing left to be done now!
Have Grate swear vengeance on d6s everywhere for this treachery.
+1 and have Grate burn down every single fucking place that is remotely connected to the usage of d6's. d12's shall rise!
+1+1No. Have Grate design a D3, and make sure every game uses them for everything.There is only one thing left to be done now!
Have Grate swear vengeance on d6s everywhere for this treachery.
+1 and have Grate burn down every single fucking place that is remotely connected to the usage of d6's. d12's shall rise!
No. Have Grate design a D3, and make sure every game uses them for everything.There is only one thing left to be done now!
Have Grate swear vengeance on d6s everywhere for this treachery.
+1 and have Grate burn down every single fucking place that is remotely connected to the usage of d6's. d12's shall rise!
EVERY. GAME.No. Have Grate design a D3, and make sure every game uses them for everything.There is only one thing left to be done now!
Have Grate swear vengeance on d6s everywhere for this treachery.
+1 and have Grate burn down every single fucking place that is remotely connected to the usage of d6's. d12's shall rise!
Building a D3 isn't that hard, why waste an action on this?
I got two ideas...First hunt down the god and use his powers to influence the rolls of Grate's epic battle with piecewise.
1:
Have Grate hunt the one known as piecewise on the internet for he's some kind of guy with strange enough powers to create a game that happens to be based on us and grate. So perhaps making him max out Grate's stats in his game would would make our Grate into.... whatever maxed out stats would turn him into.
2:
Have Grate hunt down the Random Number God just like he did when he was.... 5? 6? And turn him into Grate's slave so that whenver the whims of randomness would affect him, he'd always get the ideal outcome for him.... that or screw with other people's randomness.
I got two ideas...+1
1:
Have Grate hunt the one known as piecewise on the internet for he's some kind of guy with strange enough powers to create a game that happens to be based on us and grate. So perhaps making him max out Grate's stats in his game would would make our Grate into.... whatever maxed out stats would turn him into.
2:
Have Grate hunt down the Random Number God just like he did when he was.... 5? 6? And turn him into Grate's slave so that whenver the whims of randomness would affect him, he'd always get the ideal outcome for him.... that or screw with other people's randomness.
+1I got two ideas...+1
1:
Have Grate hunt the one known as piecewise on the internet for he's some kind of guy with strange enough powers to create a game that happens to be based on us and grate. So perhaps making him max out Grate's stats in his game would would make our Grate into.... whatever maxed out stats would turn him into.
2:
Have Grate hunt down the Random Number God just like he did when he was.... 5? 6? And turn him into Grate's slave so that whenver the whims of randomness would affect him, he'd always get the ideal outcome for him.... that or screw with other people's randomness.
Grate: Destroy the concepts of the numbers 1 through 3.+1
Grate: Destroy the concepts of the numbers 1 through 3.+1
Stop destroying reality!What is real? How do you define real?
Stop destroying reality!What is real? How do you define real?
Are we human?Stop destroying reality!What is real? How do you define real?
*slap*Are we human?Stop destroying reality!What is real? How do you define real?
Or are we dancer?
+1Grate: Destroy the concepts of the numbers 1 through 3.+1
I got two ideas...
1:
Have Grate hunt the one known as piecewise on the internet for he's some kind of guy with strange enough powers to create a game that happens to be based on us and grate. So perhaps making him max out Grate's stats in his game would would make our Grate into.... whatever maxed out stats would turn him into.
2:
Have Grate hunt down the Random Number God just like he did when he was.... 5? 6? And turn him into Grate's slave so that whenver the whims of randomness would affect him, he'd always get the ideal outcome for him.... that or screw with other people's randomness.
Let's make Grate do ballet!Are we human?Stop destroying reality!What is real? How do you define real?
Or are we dancer?
Stop destroying reality!What is real? How do you define real?
+1+1Grate: Destroy the concepts of the numbers 1 through 3.+1
Erase the concepts of the numbers 4 and 5.+1
Are you trying to drive piecewise mad/destroy the game?Erase the concepts of the numbers 4 and 5.+1
Erase the concepts of the numbers 4 and 5.You fool, you'll just create fractional dice rolls!
Dappertude:3Fix your game, piecewise! These stat numbers are invalid!
Survivalous: 3
Sporties:2
+6Erase the concepts of the numbers 4 and 5.You fool, you'll just create fractional dice rolls!
Erase the concepts of all numbers not equal to 6.
Also,Dappertude:3Fix your game, piecewise! These stat numbers are invalid!
Survivalous: 3
Sporties:2
+6+6Erase the concepts of the numbers 4 and 5.You fool, you'll just create fractional dice rolls!
Erase the concepts of all numbers not equal to 6.
Also,Dappertude:3Fix your game, piecewise! These stat numbers are invalid!
Survivalous: 3
Sporties:2
+4Erase the concepts of the numbers 4 and 5.+1
Destroy reality.+1
Fuck it, we were halfway there already.
+6+6+6Erase the concepts of the numbers 4 and 5.You fool, you'll just create fractional dice rolls!
Erase the concepts of all numbers not equal to 6.
Also,Dappertude:3Fix your game, piecewise! These stat numbers are invalid!
Survivalous: 3
Sporties:2
+6+6+6+6Erase the concepts of the numbers 4 and 5.You fool, you'll just create fractional dice rolls!
Erase the concepts of all numbers not equal to 6.
Also,Dappertude:3Fix your game, piecewise! These stat numbers are invalid!
Survivalous: 3
Sporties:2
+6+6+6+6+6Erase the concepts of the numbers 4 and 5.You fool, you'll just create fractional dice rolls!
Erase the concepts of all numbers not equal to 6.
Also,Dappertude:3Fix your game, piecewise! These stat numbers are invalid!
Survivalous: 3
Sporties:2
+6+6+6+6Erase the concepts of the numbers 4 and 5.You fool, you'll just create fractional dice rolls!
Erase the concepts of all numbers not equal to 6.
Also,Dappertude:3Fix your game, piecewise! These stat numbers are invalid!
Survivalous: 3
Sporties:2
I...That depends on your definition of winning.
I think we just won.
We just won the game
Doesn't matter. We auto-succeed on every action now. We've won.I...That depends on your definition of winning.
I think we just won.
We just won the game
Because right now it looks like winning is destroying(or fucking).
Have you looked it up?
We auto succeed all actions that have to do with training Grate.Doesn't matter. We auto-succeed on every action now. We've won.I...That depends on your definition of winning.
I think we just won.
We just won the game
Because right now it looks like winning is destroying(or fucking).
Have you looked it up?
Example action: have Grate increase all stats to far beyond the maximum possible preparedness for the world!We auto succeed all actions that have to do with training Grate.Doesn't matter. We auto-succeed on every action now. We've won.I...That depends on your definition of winning.
I think we just won.
We just won the game
Because right now it looks like winning is destroying(or fucking).
Have you looked it up?
However the point of the game was to increase his stats to prepare him for the world.
And I don't see that happening now, since all stats are fucked.
EDIT: Except if you give piecewise the action "Have Grate make us win the game." That could work.((Notice what I bolded at the start of all this))
RECREATE THE CONCEPT OF FUCK USING AN EXPLOSION AND A METRIC FUCKTON OF DISCARDED FUCK BARRELSFTFY
That feels kinda cheap to me. Just pushing an 'I WIN' button doesn't feel that satisfying.EDIT: Except if you give piecewise the action "Have Grate make us win the game." That could work.((Notice what I bolded at the start of all this))
What the...frick.We destroyed the RtD.
Warp out to a dimension that hasn't been mind raped.+Fuck
WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP
ALL HAIL GRATE, THE FUCK-EMPEROR OF MANKIND.+6
ERASE THE CONCEPT OF FUCK. HUMANITY NOW REPRODUCES BY STORKS.
have Grate use his TARDIS to go back in time and knock us out before decided to have him erase-1. Reasons:numbersFUCK from reality. Plus knocking us out is sure to make him happy by this point.
From now on, we shall say "Oh, it was roughly FUCK days after we DESTROYED an RtD."FTFY to illustrate the reason we will not be using the date of our victory here as a temporal point of reference.
and
"FUCK months after WE WON, was when I found my d6*."
[6]Warp out to a dimension that hasn't been mind raped.+Fuck
WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP
Get Grate a birthday cake. With an indeterminately large amount of candles spelling out FUCK in large letters.I'm going to +1 this since it made me laugh.
Gaslighting is a #1 strategy of any self-respecting abusive parent.
+1Get Grate a birthday cake. With an indeterminately large amount of candles spelling out FUCK in large letters.I'm going to +1 this since it made me laugh.
Gaslighting is a #1 strategy of any self-respecting abusive parent.
Also, I just imagined what the Count from Sesame Street would be like in the previous dimension.
"Fuck! Ah, ah, ah! Fuck! Ah, ah, ah! Fuck! Ah, ah, ah!..."
Also, this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Wd-Q3F8KM) is somewhat relevant.
drr drr"Alright class, who invented the lightbulb?"Send Grate to school, in full power armor.
+1
He gots to get his learnings.
And the other kids have to know who is the rightful ruler of mankind.
"I DID."
"Hiya, this is one of the teachers from kindergarten, I'm afraid little Grate's been making some trouble."
"Ooh, has he killed anyone yet?"
"... No? Er, he's just being claiming that everyone is below him and that all that can be seen is his. I think the little tyke's got a little pride problem there!"
"Claiming? IT IS HIS. HE IS THE GOD EMPEROR OF MANKIND. YOU SHALL PAY FOR THIS. HECATE, UNLEASH THE HOUNDS."
+1+1Get Grate a birthday cake. With an indeterminately large amount of candles spelling out FUCK in large letters.I'm going to +1 this since it made me laugh.
Gaslighting is a #1 strategy of any self-respecting abusive parent.
Also, I just imagined what the Count from Sesame Street would be like in the previous dimension.
"Fuck! Ah, ah, ah! Fuck! Ah, ah, ah! Fuck! Ah, ah, ah!..."
Also, this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Wd-Q3F8KM) is somewhat relevant.
+1Spoiler: Off-Topic (click to show/hide)+1+1Get Grate a birthday cake. With an indeterminately large amount of candles spelling out FUCK in large letters.I'm going to +1 this since it made me laugh.
Gaslighting is a #1 strategy of any self-respecting abusive parent.
Also, I just imagined what the Count from Sesame Street would be like in the previous dimension.
"Fuck! Ah, ah, ah! Fuck! Ah, ah, ah! Fuck! Ah, ah, ah!..."
Also, this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Wd-Q3F8KM) is somewhat relevant.
Warp back to the previous dimension.
Sacrifice Grate's friends to Grate.+1 we will absorb their powah!
So what'd I miss?
We erased the numbers of everything except 6.So what'd I miss?
They broke everything. Quite literally.
Punch Dad the White in the face. Go on a business claiming rampage.+1
+1Punch Dad the White in the face. Go on a business claiming rampage.+1
Let's not do that. I don't want to ever meet Grate's father, in any context. Let's try to increase survivalisous and sporties.+1
Arrange for a nice holiday in Somalia. Try to pay off some pirates to kidnap Grate, then refuse to pay the ransom until Grate manages to break out of captivity. Worst case scenario, he's held hostage by drugged up pirates for years on end, which should increase some stat.
We need to do something constructive, guys. And we can't hurt Dad the White, since we're Dad the White, even though he seems to have also taken on a sentience of his own, which is a bit confusing and more than a little bit disturbing.Don't you understand?
+1Let's not do that. I don't want to ever meet Grate's father, in any context. Let's try to increase survivalisous and sporties.+1
Arrange for a nice holiday in Somalia. Try to pay off some pirates to kidnap Grate, then refuse to pay the ransom until Grate manages to break out of captivity. Worst case scenario, he's held hostage by drugged up pirates for years on end, which should increase some stat.
We need to do something constructive, guys. And we can't hurt Dad the White, since we're Dad the White, even though he seems to have also taken on a sentience of his own, which is a bit confusing and more than a little bit disturbing.
So basically what I'm getting here is that PW wasn't in a position to murder everyone, so we went full minimalist EAT THE WALLS style bonkers.Worse.
-1+1Punch Dad the White in the face. Go on a business claiming rampage.+1
-1 to this as wellLet's not do that. I don't want to ever meet Grate's father, in any context. Let's try to increase survivalisous and sporties.+1
Arrange for a nice holiday in Somalia. Try to pay off some pirates to kidnap Grate, then refuse to pay the ransom until Grate manages to break out of captivity. Worst case scenario, he's held hostage by drugged up pirates for years on end, which should increase some stat.
We need to do something constructive, guys. And we can't hurt Dad the White, since we're Dad the White, even though he seems to have also taken on a sentience of his own, which is a bit confusing and more than a little bit disturbing.
-1Punch Dad the White in the face. Go on a business claiming rampage.+1
Destroy the concept of numbers in this dimension as well.+1
Cheater!-1+1Punch Dad the White in the face. Go on a business claiming rampage.+1-1Punch Dad the White in the face. Go on a business claiming rampage.+1
So basically what I'm getting here is that PW wasn't in a position to murder everyone, so we went full minimalist EAT THE WALLS style bonkers.
So basically what I'm getting here is that PW wasn't in a position to murder everyone, so we went full minimalist EAT THE WALLS style bonkers.Actually, my suggestion about gaslighting Grate with a non-existent number was a very important piece in a long chain of events. Now that our alternate-universe version has utterly failed to cooperate with the first stage, there's no point in executing the rest of the plan.
+1+1Punch Dad the White in the face. Go on a business claiming rampage.+1
+1+1Punch Dad the White in the face. Go on a business claiming rampage.+1
I think the primary reason people started replying to it was the fact it's Piecewise. Typically, that alone means it'll be an interesting game if nothing else. Not in this case, but most of the time.So basically what I'm getting here is that PW wasn't in a position to murder everyone, so we went full minimalist EAT THE WALLS style bonkers.
Actually the reality of it is that someone in ER mentioned he wanted me to run a game called "min max your child" and I decided "Eh, why not? That sounds minimalist and simplistic enough that I can do it without wasting time."
So I made this game in 15 minutes and people, for some goddamn reason, started replying to it.
It shan't last very long, but it will be mildly amusing sometimes.
Yay! I got to use the word "Shan't"
Give Grate a book titled "How to be a good father forThis is such a good idea. +1.dummyzGod-King children" so he learns to to be his own father and increase his own stats while we come up with more insane activities in the future for him to do that may or may not help increase his stats.
+1Give Grate a book titled "How to be a good father forThis is such a good idea. +1.dummyzGod-King children" so he learns to to be his own father and increase his own stats while we come up with more insane activities in the future for him to do that may or may not help increase his stats.
+1+1Give Grate a book titled "How to be a good father forThis is such a good idea. +1.dummyzGod-King children" so he learns to to be his own father and increase his own stats while we come up with more insane activities in the future for him to do that may or may not help increase his stats.
+1+1Punch Dad the White in the face. Go on a business claiming rampage.+1
+1
*takes notes for when I feel confident enough to try to GM again*I think the primary reason people started replying to it was the fact it's Piecewise. Typically, that alone means it'll be an interesting game if nothing else. Not in this case, but most of the time.So basically what I'm getting here is that PW wasn't in a position to murder everyone, so we went full minimalist EAT THE WALLS style bonkers.
Actually the reality of it is that someone in ER mentioned he wanted me to run a game called "min max your child" and I decided "Eh, why not? That sounds minimalist and simplistic enough that I can do it without wasting time."
So I made this game in 15 minutes and people, for some goddamn reason, started replying to it.
It shan't last very long, but it will be mildly amusing sometimes.
Yay! I got to use the word "Shan't"
After that, it just reached critical mass of players fast enough that people stuck around because it's the cool thing to do, I guess.
...Also, the hare turd pop-a-dice stuff is because of the GM. GM sets the tone of the game, players follow. Look at The End Is Nigh's first post. Does that seem like a game where "punch it in the face to establish superiority" is an acceptable action? Now look at this thread's first post. Does it seem like the type of game where anything else is expected?
+1Quote+1+1+1Punch Dad the White in the face. Go on a business claiming rampage.+1
It's both constructive and cathartic. And it'll teach Grate how to delegate.
+1+1+1Give Grate a book titled "How to be a good father forThis is such a good idea. +1.dummyzGod-King children" so he learns to to be his own father and increase his own stats while we come up with more insane activities in the future for him to do that may or may not help increase his stats.
He's happy, and that's all that counts!I can give the rules to someone if they want to continue.
Now let's see how he does raising poor old Woops.
YES.