Yah-hah,
yes!
So. First order of business, we need to set it up so that anybody trying to enter the fort without permission gets flooded off into the moat. Actually, first order of business is to make a moat, and line the bottom with grates so that we can recycle the water. Then set up the flood trap. After that, we can have a zombie mosh-pit moat!
Anyway, other things. Yes, the dream traps. We'll need 1 wooden ring - about the size of your head - per room, and put strings around it. It should look kinda like a spiderweb when you're done. Also, include little pieces of glass. Dream faeries are like magpies, they like shiny things, and glass looks like gems, they're good bait.
What do you mean, it sounds absurd? This is magic! Symbolism is the basis of all magic! Function follows form, don't you know that?
Alright, we'll also need some cannons. You take a big tube, stick a wee demon in the bottom, and pull its tail out the back. But not any of the rest of the demon, then you just have an angry demon, and they're a pain. Then you just stick a cannonball in the front, and just give the demon's tail a yank whenever you want to send the thing flying.
Ah, undead stuff, okay. Fire. Fire is ALWAYS a good thing when dealing with undead. We need to enchant the bows to shoot flaming arrows. Okay, here's what you do:
- Get wooden arrows, and lodge a piece of iron just behind the arrowhead.
- Set them to rest with the arrowheads in a beer keg. This is a sacrifice of alcohol to the djinn; they will not give your bows fireyness if you do not do this.
- Attach a metal bar to the bows, with a piece of rough flint on the end.
When using the bows, you must (MUST!) start with the arrowhead being up against the piece of flint. Otherwise, the djinn will not deign you worthy enough to be worth setting your projectiles aflame, and you will simply have zombies with arrows sticking out of them! That would not be good! Of course, it does take practice to do it right; the djinn are VERY specific, and so you must have the arrows and the flint hit each other in a VERY specific way, or it will not work! A good sign of the djinns' approval is if you see sparks when you fire the bow. A
very good sign is if when you fire the bow, the arrow has been fireyed.
Anyway. Ummm....
Oh, you want to know what this thing is? Why, it's my most recent project! If used correctly, it shou[thing explodes into a bunch of pieces, denting the walls but thankfully not hurting anyone]
...
I'll put that in the list of "designs that work better as grenades". Back to the drawing board, then.
Oh, hey, you have courage wolves? How would you like a
cyborg courage wolf? Just need a couple mechanisms, a seeing-eye gem, copper wires, a small ballista... what's that? Ballista aren't small? Well of course not,
normal ballista aren't, but these would be
small ones! Like those over there! [points at a rack of crossbows]
Out of character...
yes. This is
awesome. And that detail about needing to be doing something with his hands at all times is
exactly how I imagined him.
Largely because that's how I am too.And yes, I plan on roleplaying this guy as someone who flies in the face of all logic and reason for the sake of cool stuff and absurd mechanisms. Or, as I like to put it, he's the guy who'll be building the Friend Computer in the fort in secret because he feels like it, and then, when discovered, calmly state that he has no idea what you're talking about,
while continuing to build the thing right in front of your face.So, yes. Anyways. This is awesomesauce. 'Tis glorious.
By the way, what were those civs he was a former member of, and why did he leave them? For that matter, why has he had to leave civs
multiple times?
Author
Topic: NecroThreat IV: Fortress for BFEL, God of Necromancy (Read 524612 times)