SPEED NOISILY THROUGH TOWN ON MY BIG SEXY MOTORCYCLE(4) You spend several minutes speeding around the town looking at everything, and when you finally decide to stop you have several choices of intact stores to loot, a gas station, a dollar store, and a smoke shop.
LOOK FOR INTACT SHOPFRONTS MIGHT HAVE LOOT IN THEM
Steal as many babies as I can and use their drool for creating a ritual to ancient gods(Finding babies = 2) You spend thirty minutes looking around the town for babies, but there are no babies to be found not even baby animals.
be knight from last time(3) You walk around your fiefdom and see that it isn't in as good a shape as you would have hoped, the last year wasn't kind to you and your people, the town walls are damaged, the foods running low, the crops aren't doing well, and moral is low.
Survey my fiefdom, having finally recovered a decent amount from the devastation of last halloween.
Check maps to see how close I am to the last known location of the power ranger commanding the animals(Finding maps = 5) You go into a gas station and take a road atlas.
Explore, search for food and water(Finding food = 6) For some reason you decide to crawl into a collapsed building to look for food, well you manage to find some several canned goods, but you also get cut on something.
I am a haunted house that's ready to awake and wreak havoc upon the town. Do so.(4) Somehow your a living house, we're not gonna ask how but you are, and as a living house you HATE other houses so you knock several down, but destroying empty houses isn't as fun as destroying houses with people in them.
THE ANGRY HALLOWEN KAIJU FROM THE FIRST GAME RETURNS FROM THE DEAD. HIS FIRST ACT IS TO OPEN THE GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE V.2.0: 2 HELL 4 YOU(5) You open a brand new haunted houses that is so much scarier than the original that it might even be version 3 instead of 2, it even has real monsters and mutants in it!
Start looting stores for food and water.(Finding food = 4) After several minutes of looking in some random house you find several cans of food.
Brush the dead possums off my sleeping bag and wake up in my new house on Earth, after having been fired from the position of Ruler of Hell/The Centron Corporation for gross incompetence and mild embezzlement.(3) You crawl out of your sleeping bag and try to dig yourself out of the pile of dead opossums but even after a several minutes you are still trying to get out of the pile. My only question is where you got so many dead opossums and why you decided to sleep under them?
Still Angelo and Diablo(4) You spend several minutes standing next to a giant pile of dead opossums before Enemy Post finally crawls out, and when he finally stands up you smack him in the face. After that he goes around looking for a toothbrush or something.
Smack EP (not hard enough to cause lasting injury, just a “you idiot” slap)
CHECK FUEL GAUGE(How much fuel is left = 6) Despite the amount of driving you've been doing you still apparently have almost a full tank of gas.
IF LOW, PULL INTO GAS STATION AND FUEL UP MY BABY IF PUMPS STILL WORK
IF PLENTY, GO PARK BY SMOKE SHOP, SEE WHAT'S INSIDE
Look for stairs upward, or holes in the ceiling(3) You spend a few minutes looking around where your trapped and you see no holes in the roof and the only stairs you see are long dead, but after some crawling around you finally see a way out but it'll take some work to get to.
clearly this requires two things to happen: The first is a organised hunting party to bring back game from the wastes, and the second is a quest to find the mythical substance known as “candy” to restore to me my holy magicks. Lets start organising for the first, before i set off to do the second.(4) It doesn't take much convincing to get people to join the hunting party, then you spend some time equipping them and send them out to hunt any animals that might be around.
CREATE A 4000 PAGE WAIVER THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SIGN IF THEY WANT TO ENTER THE HOUSE. BUT IF YOU SIGN IT, YOU LOSE YOUR SOUUUUUUUL!!!(6) It takes a quite a while to come up with 4000 pages worth of stuff but you do it, and after proof reading it your realize that you've written it in such a way that you get even get the soul of anyone that reads it.
I sleep under the possum corpses because it's the only way I know to distract the roaches and ants while I sleep.(Getting out of the pile = 4) It takes several minutes to but you finally get out of the pile of dead opossums.
Get up, get smacked in the head by Angelo/Diablo, brush my teeth, my usual morning routine.
Get an vehicle and start travelling towards the leader of the animals.(5) After quite a long time of searching you finally find a lime green hatchback with the keys still inside, it even has full tank of gas.
Drink a lot of water and create a pentagram capable of invocating demons.(Do you have water = 2) You look around and find you have no water to drink, so you can't make your drool pentagram until you find some.
Find a can opener, also try to find more food and water(Find a can opener = 5) That didn't take long to find as it was in a drawer near by.
Start grabbing pedestrians and "eat" them (dropping them inside myself, so they teleport into some weird, hellish, 666 degree Celsius, plane of existence).(4) After a few minutes of searching you find three guys sitting around a small fire, and without much effort you eat them and send them to your weird plane of existence.
I will make it my personal quest to find water to drink. Search for an intergalactic kraken so it can grant me wisdom in my journey!(Finding the intergalactic kraken = 5) You spend a few minutes looking around and somehow you manage to find the Intergalactic Kraken inside a library that wasn't that far from where you started.
Drive my new lime green hatchback towards the city with the green power ranger commanding the animals(1) As you begin to drive out of the town you run over a glass bottle, and blow a tire.
Start climbing out(4) It takes several minutes but you manage to carefully move everything that blocks your path and crawl out of the ruin.
OPEN THE HOUSE AND BEGIN THE REAPING OF SOULS.(3) You open GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE V.3.0: 2 HELL 4 YOU with lots of spotlights and music, and only one guy shows up and signs your paper, not really what you were expecting but its better than nothing.
Right, now that the hunt is on, it is time for me to start on my quest! go forth and search for the legendary candy that grants me magical powers!(4) After searching for several minutes you finally manage to find some candy, in a bowl on someone's porch with a little sign Happy Halloween next to it.
Find a back pack to carry stuff, if cannot find backpack. Search for weapons(Finding a backpack = 1) You search the entire house but find no backpack.
"Well, an unauthorized demonic document. Got to maintain our copyright on those."(Anti-soul stealing magic = 6) You magic so well that you couldn't lose your soul even if you wanted to.
Seal myself against having my soul taken, then go track down whoever made an unauthorized contract.
Wave as Angelo/Diablo leave, then keep looking for my toothbrush.(4) You wave as Angelo/Diablo leaves, then you go about digging through the pile of dead opossums until you finally find the toothbrush, then you shake the bits of dead opossum off so you can use it.
Stomp automobiles and pedestrians as I move to the town hall.(Stomping automobiles = 4) You wander around and stomp several cars into the dirt.
"Breath" some of my 666 degree Celsius plasma at the town hall building.
LOOK IN THE BACK OF THE STORE AND SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING GOOD.(5) You break into the back room where you find a shotgun, some marijuana, more cigarettes, and a bunch of other stuff.
Be guy from SPACE in mecha(4) After wandering around for a bit you find a park that would be a pretty good place to start the INVASION.
Scout out town to see if it is suitable spot for the INVASION
SPEND 666666 $ ON ADVERTISING FOR THE GATES OF HELL.(3) You go to a print shop to spend your money on advertising only to find that there's no one there so you just make your own posters, but you don't get to put any up because the guy that helped kill you last time showed up.
look around for a working TV or computer or a newspaper and read the news to see if anything interesting or unusual happened(2) You find several TVs and computers but you can't use them because there isn't any power, and the news paper isn't any more helpful because its from last year and it says nothing about the world ending.
Go brush my teeth.(4) You spend thirty minutes brushing your teeth using water from a puddle nearby.
try to replace broken tire with a new one.(5) You take the spare from the trunk and replace the flat one and get ready to get back on road.
Steal candy, using my Elvis ninja costume.(5) You see a knight near a bowl filled with candy and you ninja your way there, and before he can get any you steal the candy and bowl and get away before he can do anything about it.
Take the 9mm handgun and the knife. Find a bicycle(6) You grab the gun and knife then set out to look for a bicycle, you spend a few minutes looking around and eventually find one but there's a guy riding it, and he's getting further away.
LOOT ALL THAT STUFF(5) You grab the stuff, load the shotgun, and put it all away in your motorcycle, then you roll a fatty.
ESPECIALLY THE SHOTGUN AND WEED
ENSURE SHOTGUN IS LOADED, THEN ROLL UP A FATTY BEFORE STROLLING BACK OUT AND PUTTING LOOT IN MY SADDLEBAGS
Try to find them again.(4) After looking around for a bit you find it in a print shop making posters, to stops when it sees you.
Take some and use it to restore my magic powers, then go cast a healing spell and a growth spell on the crops!(2) You go to grab the candy but Ninja Elvis shows up and steals the candy and the bowl, then disappear before you can react.
Find some people to stomp on.(2) You look and look but you can't find any people so you kick a few houses in frustration.
he can’t have gotten far. FIND THAT NINJA AND SHOW HIM THE ERROR OF HIS THIEVING WAYS!(Finding the ninja = 4) After looking around for a bit you finally find the ninja, and he seems to be giving your candy to some kind of space Kraken in exchange for information about water and a legendary weapon.
Keep going to the city from which the evil power ranger commands the animals(3) You drive for a bit and find the road forward is blocked and have to spend several minutes finding a different way around, you still get closer to your goal but not as close as you wanted to be.
Well looks like this is the end-POCKET SAND (https://youtu.be/QLpUq__iQqw)!(POCKET SAND = 6) You release your sand and hit him in the face, but then the wind blows the rest of the sand back into your face and blinds you as well.
NOW BOOK IT!
GREAT! Signal the earth drop forces in SPACE to land in the Park's coordinates, aka to begin the INVASION. Soon the Grand Principality of Kyon will rule the earth sphere!(6) After a few minutes of messing with your radio you manage to get in contact with the Earth Drop Forces, and they tell you that they aren't ready to start the INVASION and to give them a bit to get the troops ready. (Two turns.)
Shoot the guy riding the bicycle! If dead, take the bicycle(4) You shoot the guy in the back and he falls over, and when you go to take the bike it turns out he isn't all the way dead and he seems to be trying to get something out of his jacket.
Look for people. Safety in numbers, after all(5) After wandering around you find some random people in a store, they seem friendly so that's a plus.
Deflect pocket sand.(Deflecting the sand = 1) You try to deflect the sand but fail and get blinded by it.
Now Book Him.
Find some breakfast.(3) After looking around your hovel you find some of your dead opossums, and a can of beans that you can't open.
LIGHT SPLIFF, EQUIP IN MOUTH, GO FOR LEISURELY-BUT-STILL-EXHILARATING RIDE AROUND TOWN OUTSKIRTS(5) You light the spliff and drive around the town as you smoke it, as you drive you see a house walking around the outskirts of the town, but other than that the ride was quite enjoyable.
Give the candy to Intergalactic Kraken, and ask for the nearest location of drinkable water, as well as the nearest legendary weapon.You return to Intergalactic Kraken and give it the candy and ask your questions.
Stomp and eat more people.(3) You walk around the town for a bit but you can't stomp any of the people you see, they've all wised up to what you are doing and stay far away from you.
Ask if they are willing to let me stay with them so that we can all survive. Offer some canned food and ask what they are looking for and try to help them find what they are looking for(Asking to join them = 5) It doesn't take much convincing to join their group, you find out that there are three of them and they are currently living in the old store and are planning of moving on soon.
keep driving, put music in the radio to make this whole thing less boring(Driving = 4) You keep driving forward eventually crossing the state line, you then your check the map and see that you are almost at the city you last heard the power ranger guy was at.
Demand some of the candy as the compensation. Do an armored glove slap if they refuse.(Demanding the candy = 1) You demand to be given some candy, but when you do the space Kraken flies away back into space.
Bang a rock against the can until it opens.(6) You look around your hovel and grab the rock that you had been using as a pillow and start beating the can, but you beat it to hard and it explodes sending beans everywhere, there's nothing to stop you from eating them but you'd have to gather them.
STEAL HIS SOULS TROUGH THE ANKLES!(2) You blindly wander around until you finally find him, you then try to steal his soul but it seems to be stuck and and no matter what you do to it you can't remove it.
Start stabbing the guy with the knife(6) You start wildly stabbing the dying man sending blood and bits of flesh everywhere, you don't even notice that you cut yourself on something during the stabbing, and when you finally stop stabbing the man you realize that you've stabbed him over one hundred times and pretty much rendered him unrecognizable, you then look at your knife and realize that it broke during the mad stabbing.
Tell the knight I'm in dangerous quest. He can either join me or recieve the location of a legendary weapon. After that go to the lake using my Elvis pelvis thrust.(Telling the knight stuff = 4) You tell the knight your offers to which he replies by slapping you with a armoured gauntlet, this not only hurts your face it also hurts your feelings.
Arrest his ass (and the rest of him).(2) You try to arrest his ass but you can't find it as you still seem to be blinded by the sand.
Get the area ready for the INVASION, by removing trees, shrubs, and any other obstructions that might be there.(4) Using your mecha you start ripping up trees and clearing shrubs, then you throw them aside so the INVASION has some where clear to land.
CONTINUE TO DRIVE AROUND AND SEE IF THERE IS ANYTHING INTRESTING IN THE TOWN THAT I MISSED THE FIRST TIME.(5) During your drive you go to a part of town you ignored the first time and you find several interesting stores including a pawn shop, a convenience store, and a party store.
Chase down the people and stomp them flat.(3) You run after the people, you manage to stomp one, but the rest get into a truck and drive away before you can get to them.
(I'd just like to mention to people coming from the last game that the Earth was destroyed at the end of the last game, but given that we are in a different timeline means you could have done all the stuff from the fist game while the world was ending, therefor making this announcement pointless.)And that means that everything that happened in the last game happened, and that means the town was destroyed and turned into a lake but I started the game in the same town so the town both is and isn't, so I'm not sure what to do but I think I'm going to ignore that fact and go on or I might use it I'm not sure yet.
I just realized I've created a paradox because I said:Maybe you could have a place in the town where if someone finds themselves there, they find a lake where the town used to be, and swimming in the lake to a certain point brings you back to the town?(I'd just like to mention to people coming from the last game that the Earth was destroyed at the end of the last game, but given that we are in a different timeline means you could have done all the stuff from the fist game while the world was ending, therefor making this announcement pointless.)And that means that everything that happened in the last game happened, and that means the town was destroyed and turned into a lake but I started the game in the same town so the town both is and isn't, so I'm not sure what to do but I think I'm going to ignore that fact and go on or I might use it I'm not sure yet.
Also that means the some of the magic stuff from the last game is still around, so if you put on a costume you become the thing the costume represents, and the more candy you have the more powerful you become.
Drive into the city directly challenging the animals and power ranger supremacy.(Driving to the city = 4) After a bit more driving your arrive at the city where the power ranger looking guy was last seen.
“Alright, I will search for those things”(2) You search some of the dead bodies that are laying around, and it looks like if any of them had guns somebody got to them before you could.
Go out and look for any guns or ammo. Maybe some corpses still have them with them?
((It is the end of the world, presumably, people died))
BETTER IDEA. USE SOUL MAGIC TO STEAL HIS ANKLES!(4) You finally get the sand out of your eyes and use your SOUL MAGIC you Steal Smoke Mirrors's ankles, but even with out ankles he still manages to arrest you.
Arrest his face (and the rest of him) with Angel Magic.(5) Right as you get the sand out of your eyes ANGRY DEMON NOISES steals your ankles, but you still manage to use your ANGEL MAGIC to arrest him.
Cry for the knight's vitriolic nature. Then drink the lake's water once and for all, using the bowl!(Crying for the knight vitriolic nature = 3) You try to cry but you can only get a few tears out.
Now its time to...uh...(Standing around = 3) You stand around and don't do anything, but you fall over right as the troops from The Grand Principality of Kyon arrive.
I don't know really? Best guess is to stand at attention in my giant robot, waiting for the rest of the forces to touch down. Not like there is anything fun to do...
Take the bike and go around searching for medical supplies.(3) You step over the mutilated corpse and grab the bike, then go out searching for medical supplies and after several minutes of searching you manage to find a first aid kit that has some aspirin, a few bandages and a little paper that has some first aid info on it.
Go over that pawn shop and destroy it by throwing Yoink's car in it.(Grabbing Yoink's vehicle = 6) After looking around for a bit you finally find Yoink's motorcycle he isn't on it but you grab it anyway.
wait a second. he launched himself in the direction of my fief! AFTER HIM! HE HAS NOT FELT MY FULL WRATH YET!(5) You run towards your fief, and after several minutes of running you arrive at the lake to see the ninja using the bowl he stole from you to drink the water from the lake.
Gather the beans.(6) You grab all the beans in your hovel, there seem to be more beans then were in the can.
GO TO CONVENIENCE STORE(3) You shoot out the window and go inside for snacks, but as soon as you step inside the store a house grabs your motorcycle and throws it at the pawn shop and destroys both of them, meaning you lost most of your gear, but at least you still have the shotgun and the weed.
PARK BIKE
SHOOT OUT FRONT WINDOW/GLASS DOOR, STEP THROUGH, ACQUIRE SNACKS TO SATE MUNCHIES
Look around for any houses and try to enter one, maybe a gun and/or ammo is stored there?(6) As you go from house to house trying trying to find guns you finally find some, in the hands of some unfriendly looking armoured troops in a futuristic armoured truck and they've seen you.
SUMMON MY LAWYER SAMHAIN TO SUE HIS ASS SINCE HE DOESN'T HAVE A WARRANT OR ANY PROOF I DID ANYTHING WRONG. THIS IS ANGEL BRUTALITY!Smoke Mirrors tries to takes you through a portal into court of etheric law but the portal collapses before anyone can get through.
Spew out those three guys from earlier out of my weird dimension; they're fire elementals now.(Fire elementals = 4) You vomit up the the guys that are now fire elementals, and they set Yoinks pants on fire.
Fire elementals: Burn Yoink's legs.
Block Yoink's projectiles with my arms.
Trap the knight and make evil speech below the action. Then, do the summoning circle with my spit(Trapping the knight = 1) The trap you built is a rush job of a trip wire that fails miserably as the knight just walks past it as it fails to do anything.
"Silly Dustan Hache, now that my throat is no longer thristy, you stand no chance against me! You thought this bowl's power was yours, but it was mine, Kakaluncha!"
Find more weapons.(3) After several minutes of looking all you find is a new knife.
“I couldn’t give a damn about the bowl, you took the candy that i needed to get my magic powers back so I could help my fief thrive!”(Avoiding the trap = 2) You walk up to the "trap" he set, which is just a rope laid across the ground, you walk around it and nothing happens.
Avoid the trap and stab the fiendish ninja elvis in the mouth so that his summoning circle can’t be completed!
Stop driving check nearby buildings for weapons and music CD's.(Finding weapons = 3) After searching your immediate area all you find is a large pipe.
Well yeah, its a nuclear wasteland. Very easy for the spacenoid race to take ov-(Where is the commanding officer = 4) Your commanding officer uses the radio to tell you that he'll be watching your teams progress via satellite, he also said that he believed you were qualified enough to lead the troops, and that if reinforcements or additional equipment was required just use the radio and it'll be delivered as soon as possible.
Wait, w-wh-where's my commanding officer!?!?
Am-am I supposed to l-l-l-lead the INVASION!?!?!?
I'm just a pilot! Not a trained off-
Ah well, if they don't have a commander, I guess I have to lead them if I must. After all, it's just a few earthnoid remnants! But the first act, secure/take over the ruined town!
Eat breakfast.(6) You quickly eat all the beans, you get the feeling you will get bad gas from the beans later.
((HE TARGETED MY CAR! WHY GM BRINGING BIKE INTO THIS?! I DEMAND RECOUNT))Before you do anything the house vomits up some weird things that look like flaming hobos, and the flaming hobos shoot fire at you and set your pants on fire.
SHOOT HOUSE'S KNEECAPS
THEN KICK IN FRONT DOOR, JUMP INSIDE AND BEGIN CAUSING UNTOLD AMOUNTS OF PROPERTY DAMAGE
Send him to a proper court of etheric law where I don’t have to real with him.(1) Well you try to open a portal to the court of etheric law but it collapses almost immediately.
Kick and scuff one of the closer edges of the circle to disrupt it and prevent any summoning, then stab ninja elvis in the mouth. AGAIN!(Messing up the circle = 2) You try to mess up the circle, but get blocked by the ninja Elvis clones that suddenly appeared and started lightly pelvic thrusting you.
“Hi, You look you are good at protecting yourselves, I know of a group of people who might join you for protection, who are you, anyway?”(Convincing them your not the enemy = 4) It takes a bit of talking but they finally see that your not a threat, and then they tell you that they are part of an invasion force that is here to take over the planet.
Try to get them to not see me as an enemy, and see if they are willing to let humans from this world/time join them, if they hear me out, lead them to the store where the group I found is and tell them about the new people I found
Back to the car play the CD at full volume while advancing to the center of the city.(4) Its a uneventful walk back to the car, then you put in the CD and turn the volume all the way up and start driving to the center of the city, after a few minutes as you get closer you start seeing more animal they haven't attacked yet but you have a feeling they might be getting an ambush set up further into the city.
Keep searching until I get a gun(5) After searching several houses you find a hidden box under a bed, it contains a shotgun, a rifle, and a .44 magnum revolver.
SHOOT DOOR(Shooting the door = 2) You try the door with the shotgun, but nothing happened the shell must have been a dud.
FINISH OFF W/ MORE KICKS IF NEEDED
THEN ENTER HOUSE AND BEGIN CAUSING GENERAL DESTRUCTION
LIGHT UP ANOTHER JOINT AND SMOKE IT *GASP* INDOORS
WHILE DEMON BOY IS DISTRACTED. RUN AWAY AND USE MEDIA ATTENTION TO PAINT ME AS VICTIM OF DEMON/ANGEL BRUTALITY, AND GATHER SIGNATURES TO A PETITION TO BAN ANGELO/DIABLO FROM THE MORTAL PLANE. USING THE SAME SOUL STEALING MOJO ON THE WAIVER ON THE PETITION(Running away = 6) As you runaway you look back to make sure you aren't being followed and while your not paying attention you run into a sign injuring your face slightly.
Go to work. I work in a post-apocalyptic "office" in a ruined library that organizes files and papers regarding the new species and issues faced by the new world.(5) After walking away from your hovel for a bit you finally arrive at the ruined library, where you greet your fellow employees and go to your desk to get ready to deal with the papers that are already sitting on your desk waiting for you.
Use a cloning technique and send my clones to strike Dustin with devastating pelvis moves. After that, activate the circle, allowing an entity to come.(Using the cloning technique = 4) Using your special ninja pelvic thrusting moves you summon several clones.
Grab Yoink and throw him at the gas station.(4) After Yoink tries to kick your door again you grab him and throw him through the front window of the gas station, after a second you can see him moving around so it looks like being thrown through a window didn't hurt him that much.
Have troops continue to secure the town, and have the troops that are getting shot at kill the people attacking them.(Securing the town = 3) As the troops continue to secure the area you get a report from another one of your armoured cars that there is a living house attacking an earthnoid near some kind of fuel depot.
Think of something else I could arrest ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES for.(5) After a few seconds you remember that he stole your ankles and you could arrest him for that, but when you look around for him so you could arrest him again you see that he has disappeared.
Tell the group about the army I found and joined and convince them to join too(5) It doesn't take much convincing to get the rest of your group to join with the space army people, and the space army guides your group to their base and lead you to gazebo, and your told to stay there and that your not actually part of their army.
Fire elementals: shoot fireballs at the gas station, where Yoink currently is.(Fire elemetals burning the gas station = 2) You command the fire elementals to burn the gas station and they throw fire balls at the pumps, and miss completely.
Once the gas station explodes and kills Yoink in a fiery whirlwind, dab on him.
Integrate the entity from the beyond into my being, using the power of Elvis sexual poses. Then use a regenaritive technique for my mouth.(Using the power of Elvis sexual poses to combine with the entity = 5) Using the power of sexy dance moves and pelvic thrusting you combine with the entity from beyond and gain whatever powers that might entail.
Order the clones to pelvis starbeam the Knight
Increase speed, prepare to dodge their possible with car parkour(2) You increase your speed and continue further into the city for a bit before you finally see what looks like a small barricade so you swerve to avoid it, but unbeknownst to you the animals had poured oil all over the road causing you to spin out and hit a sign and a mail box, while this does damage the hatchback it doesn't damage it enough to keep you from driving it, in the distance you can see large amounts of animals start to appear in all of the streets around you.
Remind Samhain that stealing souls is a copyright violation of a specific agreement assigned to Hell and that due to working under divine law instead of mortal law, my arrest needs no warrant due to an exigent circumstance, which would waive his client’s right of habeas corpus. All in all, any case he would bring against me would result in his loss, and as he has no legal reason to be here, he should cease bothering me or he will be guilty of obstruction of justice.(Finding Samhain = 2) You look around to for Samhain to tell him all that law stuff, but you find that he disappeared along with ANGRY.
With that all said and done, restore my ankles and go arrest that fool. Exigent circumstances also apply to when the cop observes the perpetrators in the process of the act, and I can sense him stealing souls, so I need no arrest warrant.
Never try to legal BS an actual law student.
Punch out the one that stole my sword, then charge and tackle the REAL ninja elvis, plowing through any clones/extradimensional entities that get in my way! keep in mind, i am wearing metal armor, so all of this will hurt more than usual for them.Before you can react the Real ninja Elvis combined with the extradimensional creature.
USE MAGIC TO REPLACE ALL WAIVERS IN THE WORLD WITH THE PETITION. THEN STEAL THE SOULS OF THOSE WHO SIGN THEM AND USE THEM TO MORHP INTO THE HALOWEEN GOD ONCE AGAIN!(Replacing all waivers in the world with the petition = 5) Using your soul magic you turn all the waivers in the world into the petition even ones from before the apocalypse.
Go outside and attempt to fly by flapping my arms(4) You go outside and start flapping your arms, and somehow you manage to lift yourself off the ground and after a bit of practice you're able to fly.
Deal with the papers.(6) You quickly get to work sorting the papers into their appropriate locations, but as soon as you file one thing another group of papers appear in its place and this continues for a bit and when you look at your desk you see that there's the same amount papers on it that you started with.
What, let earthnoid survivors join the Earth Drop Force? That's against common military sense! Set them up at camp, that's something, but letting them join our forces? That's just asking for double agents. Escort the passive survivors to camp, and keep a close eye on them. After all, killing them would just leave us with an empty wasteland.(Bringing the earthnoids to the camp = 3+1 For them being compliant) The earthnoids are lead back to the camp with out issue and are seated in the gazebo in the center of the park so you can better keep an eye on them.
Also, keep securing the town.
GET TO THE BACK OF THE GAS STATION AND SHOOT THE FIRE GUYS.(4) You rush to the back of the station, and shoot at the fire guys injuring two of them.
Fly to a random roof and set up a firing position(4) You fly around for a bit before finding a good place to setup your firing position, you even find some stuff on the roof that after you move it around works as cover and makes it harder to figure out where you are.
Try to stuff some of the papers into the garbage while nobody's looking.(5) While your boss isn't looking you take all the papers you ether don't know what to do with or don't want to deal with, and file them in the circular file.
use my shield as a makeshift guillotine and behead the original ninja elvis, thereby causing all the clones to disintegrate!(3) You raise up your your shield and get ready to slam it down, but as you start it slips out your hands and hits the ninja Elvis's face bloodying his nose.
Ascend to Super Presley state, and push the knight away. Explain to him that I can feel the desperation in his heart, and that I can help him if we stop fighting.Before you can do anything the knight tries to hit you in the throat, but drops his shield and it hits you in the face bloodying your nose.
Try to figure out if I have the ability to switch bodies, try to move my mind to one of the troops, if successful, attack one of the animals, if I still remain in my body, watch the others to prevent escape from the gazebo(Figuring our if you have body snatching abilities = 1) You spend several minutes trying to switch bodies with someone, but you never manage to do it, guess you don't have that power.
USE GOD POWERS BOOSTED BY OVER A 1000 SOULS TO SEND THIS MALL COP TO THE MORE EXCLUSIVE VERSION OF HELL, SUPER HELL. THEN GET TO WORK BY SPENDING 666666 SOULS TO OPEN THE GATES OF HELL!(Using god powers and 1000 souls to send Smoke Mirrors to Super Hell = 5) You use your god powers and 1000 souls to open a portal under Smoke Mirrors and send him to SUPER HELL.
Get out of the car with my large pipe and challenge the horde to attack me.(4) You get out of your car and yell out your challenge to the animals this causes some to flee in fear but most stay to fight you, then they start to charge your position.
...Before you can do anything a portal opens under you and you fall into SUPER HELL, its like regular Hell but more hellish and stuff.
Cancel his contract. Also, Gate of Hell is under copy write, so by using that name, you relinquish all you power to me, as closest official.
Woah, large animals? Looks like its a job for the Mecha! Time to kick some mutant animal butt! With my GIANT MACHINEGUN.As your leaving the park you see two of the earthnoids running away from gazebo.
Fire Elementals: Rush into Yoink and take him with us via a fiery explosion.(Fire elemetals burning Yoink = 2) Your fire elementals shoot fire balls and miss again this time setting a nearby tree on fire.
Eat pedestrians. A lot of them, then turn them into fire elementals.
KEEP SHOOTING THE FIRE GUYS, IF LOSING RUNAWAY.(Shooting = 5) You shoot at the fire guys again and you manage to kill one of the injured ones.
((Are my regenerative powers authomatic, or what?They work how you want them to, but if you want the power to be automatic I might forget about it.
that’s.. not how shields work most times. they’re strapped to the forearm as well as held in hand...The only way I could think of the shield guillotine working was for you to grab both sides of it and slam it down, but it didn't work out in the end because of the 3, you still did damage but not as much as you had hoped for.
Even so, if Earth is under one ruler, there will no longer be fighting between the various nations, get back here!(Finding out where they went = 5) After a bit of running you finally catch sight of them.
Run after them and try to tackle one of them to the ground, if successful, slam their head against the ground to knock them unconscious or kill them, then attempt the same with the other one
USE 10000 SOULS TO GIVE THE HAUNTED HOUSE GATES OF HELL SENTIENCE!(4) You use the 10,000 souls and give the GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE V.3.0: 2 HELL 4 YOU sentience and it slowly stands up and begins to follow you around.
Find targets to snipe(5) After looking around for a bit you see a Mecha run towards a group of people, then grab all three of them.
Swing my pipe towards the most close charging animal and prepare to defend myself from the rest.(Attacking the close ones = 5) You charge at the closest animals and quickly beat them to death with your pipe.
DUSTAN HACHE, I HAVE NO REASON TO FIGHT AGAINST YOU! IN FACT, I MIGHT EVEN CONSIDER HELPING YOU(Clones getting powerful beings = 3) You send the clones out to get powerful beings and after a bit they comeback empty handed.
Meanwhile, send the clones to bring me the most powerful beings on this town, so that I'm able to integrate them. If Dustan Hache tries anything funny, take out his head.
((Are my regenerative powers authomatic, or what?
Fire Elementals: Use harass tactics; don't kill Yoink, but also dodge his attacks.(Fire elementals harassing = 5) They shoot fire balls at Yoink keeping him from being able to come out of cover and shoot.
Keep swallowing pedestrians and producing more fire elementals.
Alright, send the APC back to base camp in order to have the injured get healed. While that happens, I'll be apprehending the fleeing earthnoids in my Mecha. Escape cannot be allowed, though I do want them to come back alive!(Sending the APC back to get healed = 3+1 For being an armoured vehicle) The APC drives back to the park and uses advanced technology to heal themselves.
Try and finish the paperwork I didn't throw away. See if there's any corners I can cut, though.(Finishing the paperwork = 4) You spend the next few minutes finishing up the papers and have them all nicely put away when your finished.
“You are a thief, a coward and a scoundrel! I will defeat you in the name of god and all that is holy!”(Praying for strength = 4) You say a quick prayer and are blessed with strength.
Pray for the strength to banish the entity empowering ninja elvis!
Leave Super Hell and try to arrest ANGRY again.(Leaving Super Hell = 2) You try to leave SUPER HELL, but you can't for some reason it seems like somethings keeping you there.
KEEP SHOOTING THE FIRE GUYS.(1) The fire guys shoot fire balls at you anytime you even try to look out of cover keeping you pinned.
Watch the gazebo, alert the mecha if there are any more escape attempts(Just gonna mention that you and the people you tried capture have all to been grabbed by the Mecka. )
Observe the surroundingsThe mecha takes you and the others back to the park and where you're put in a tent and healed with advanced technology.
keep killing animals(4) You hold your ground and continue to beat any animals that comes near the doorway to death, there are still a bunch of animals but at least your winning.
FUSE WITH GATES OF HELL V.4 AND SAMHAIN TO BECOME THE OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN!(6) Using all the powers you have available to you, you fuse with the Gates of Hell and Samhain, and become the ULTRA OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN!
Start shooting at the mecha, aim for the pliot(Shooting the mecha = 1) You get the shot lined up perfectly on the pilots head and you go to shoot, but nothing happens so you check the rifle and it turns out it isn't loaded, looks like you forgot to load it.
"You idiot! Then you have doomed your home! I was willing to tell you how you could save it!"(Clones attacking the fief = 5) Your clones run out towards the fief and start the attack by damaging buildings.
Send the clones to ravage his fief, and all of it's lands. Meanwhile, use the knight's sword to break his spine, so that he won't move anymore
Ahem(Finding the holy grail = 6) After spending a long time of searching Super Hell you finally find the Holy Grail, but right as you go to grab it it reveals that it isn't the Holy Grail but in fact The Unholy Pail and you have fallen into its trap, you are then grabbed by evil milk demons and thrown into a jail cell.
USE THE POWER OF THE HOLY GRAIL TO BECOME THE OVERDEITY OF ALL HOLIDAYS.
“And yet you are the one attempting to destroy it and harm the innocents living there. You sully the name of Elvis Presley with your thievery, your blind pursuit of power, and your destructive acts against those who aren’t involved! have at thee!”Ninja Elvis tries to stab you in the spine with your sword, but your armour deflects the sword.
beat and bludgeon the rest of the magic out of him with my fists and shield!
Fire elementals: Keep Yoink pinned to his cover.(Fire elementals suppressing fire = 3) They continue to throw fireballs at Yoink, but almost all of them miss.
Open my door and blast out some Great Fireballs at Yoink.
Do my work on the discarded corners, maybe that is the real technique.(4) You quickly grab all the cut corners and start to work on them, and after several minutes of work you find that they aren't that different than the rest of the stuff you've been working on.
NEW PLAN(Rolling past the fire guys = 5) You roll out if the building and roll past the fire guy, but right after you finish rolling the house vomits a large fireball at you, burning you some more.
COMMANDO-ROLL PAST FIRE GUYS AND SHOOT HOUSE IN ITS GAS LINE
Return them back to basecamp for medical treatment and other stuff. Can't have any "future civilian occupants" die on the job.(5) The trip back to the park base is uneventful, and you place the earthnoids in the medical tent that was recently set up and they get healed.
Take a closer look at the equipment to try and figure out what it does(4) You look around the tent and examine all the equipment, well there's some chairs, a table, and a big machine, so you start looking at the most interesting thing in the room the big machine, and after spending several minutes looking at it you figure out that its an automated medical thing, apparently you just shove the injured person inside and it heals whatever's wrong with them automatically.
Keep killing until I am covered with blood and no animal around is left alive(Killing until covered in blood = 1) No matter how many animals you kill you don't get a drop of blood on you.
Screw it, this all began with legal nonsense, so too will it end.(Renaming Halloween = 3) You decide to call Halloween Spooksmas like a few other people, but beyond that handful of people no one calls it that.
Rename the holiday currently known as Halloween, “Spooksmas” and rename the smallest discovered asteroid as “Halloween.”
To clarify ADN will still remain overdiety of Halloween, just not the one he wants.
Okay, the clones will break the knight's arms and legs. Meanwhile, I will devour his fief life force, and ravage the lands until it's nothing but ashes.(Clones breaking the knight's legs and arms = 5-2 For knight's armour) After several minutes of struggling the clones manage to break one of the knight's arms.
"I'm obviously using self defense, Ser. I only stole you a bowl of candy, and then you stabbed me, so I must ravage your realm in return!"
HALLOWEEN IS PUBLIC DOMAIN YOU GIT. TAKE THE SMALLEST METEOR AND THROW IT AT 5000 TIMES THE SPEED OF LIGHT AT SMOKEY AND MIRRORS.(3) You fly up into space and grab 2015 TC25 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2015_TC25), and throw it at Smoke Mirrors at regular speed, and it burns up in the atmosphere before it gets anywhere near him.
Reload the gun and start shooting(3) You reload the rifle and go to shoot, but right as you start to aim the mecha smashes part of the building your on, making you have move to a different part of your cover.
Now that that's settled, finish securing the town in my fully armored mech! Include stomping on any idiot trying to fire at it with mere small arms too. Can't have total idiots who think they can pierce the fully enclosed mech living now can we!(Finishing securing the town = 5) After a bit you and your people finally finish securing the town, except for the living house that's attaining some earthnoind in a building.
Bring my new method to my boss and openly brag about it. Now we can use each piece of paper four times instead of just two.(5) You walk over to your bosses office and start loudly bragging about how great your new method is, and after a few minutes of this he finally comes out to listen to your idea, and after a bit of talking you convince him of how great your idea is, so he declares you employee of the month for having such a great idea!
“one, that’s not how self defense works, that is arson and murder as escalation. Two, the reason I attacked you was because of your unholy rituals, which endanger EVERYONE, not just me or my fief!”Before you can react the clones grab you and break one of your arms.
Reclaim my sword and stab him through the chest with it to keep him from attacking my fief and all who live in it!
T-pose at Yoink to assert my dominance, damaging his morale (aka, giving him one turn -1 debuff).(T-posing at Yoink = 4) You aggressively T-pose at Yoink and he is afraid.
Fire elementals: Encircle Yoink and kill him via a fiery group hug.
LEG-SWEEP HOUSE TO THE GROUND(Leg-sweeping the house = 4-1 For CABL's T-posing) You try to leg-sweep the house but it aggressively T-poses at you and you get scared.
THEN CLIMB NEARBY OBJECT AND PERFORM ELBOW DROP ONTO FRONT DOOR
BLAST ANY FIRE THINGS THAT GET CLOSE
Search for stuff to prepare and cook a few animals corpses, I am kinda hungry after that much violence.(Finding cooking supplies = 4) After a little looking around it turned out the building you were in was a restaurant, so you now have everything you could want for cooking.
Brag to coworkers about becoming employee of the month, my proudest accomplishment ever.(3) You wander around the office and tell everyone about how your the employee of the month, only a few people care and the rest just ignore you.
Start quickly flying around the mecha and shoot it using the rifle(2) You start to fly near the mecha but it turns out you can't fire the rifle and flap your arms at the same time.
THROW 101955 BENNU AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT AT SOME RANDOM COUNTRY!(What country = Oman) You randomly chose the Middle Eastern country of Oman as your target.
Try convincing the people I’m with that helping this army conquer the planet will result in less wars(4-2 For them not wanting to be slaves) They call you an idiot for wanting to be an alien slave, and they don't give a shit if it results in less wars, it doesn't look like you'll be able to convince them.
If questioned, try to be as helpful as possible
"Hmm, if you put it that way, I might be a psyco... Either way, that ritual's objective was to help me achieve the most glamorous costume of all! I realised that fusing the power of Elvis with an entity from the beyond was the only way to achieve this! But now, you have messed it up! It's time for me to do plan B!"(Using the life force to animate trees = 3) Using the life force you got from the trees and corn you manage to animate three trees and they start wandering around.
Using the life force, animate every tree in this forest so that they go in a chaotic rampage of violence and chaos. Meanwhile, the clones will throw the knight inside the lake.
Try again to reclaim my sword, then defeat the clones (by removing their feet) and strike at the real ninja-elvis!(Reclaiming the sword = 4) Before the clones can grab you, you reclaim your sword from them.
Alright, living house. weird, and probably a threat. Smash it to bits with a tank or something, while dealing with that earthnoid sniper.The earthnoid sniper starts to fly around you.
Meanwhile, the rest of the men begin to scout out the area surrounding the town, locating where other centers of life are. Questioning the earthnoid survivors should help these efforts.
Become overduety of all holidays((I don't know, I'm using physical dice for this game not sure if that helps.))
Why am I getting more bad rolls than I should?
SHOOT HOUSE'S ARMS OFF TO DISABLE T-POSE FUNCTIONALITY(Shooting the houses arms off = 1) You try to shoot off one the houses arms, but you discover that the gun is empty and you need to reload.
THEN SHOULDER-CHARGE THROUGH FRONT DOOR
Grab and throw Yoink into the crowd of my Fire Elementals, where he'll burn to death.(3) You try to grab Yoink but he doges your grab attempt, he then bum rushes your door and busts his way inside he is now in your living room.
Rush towards Dustan Hache and decapitate him in a non lethal way. Meanwhile, mutate the trees so that they become giant Kaijus(Nonlethal decapitation = 6-1-3 For armour and parrying) You rush the knight and attempt to decapitate him with out killing him, but he parrys your attack and prevents his nonlethal decapitation.
talk to the soldier. Try to learn more about the empire Earth will be integrated intoIf I may ask, what made you choose this planet? If I had a weapon or armor, I might be able to help with any attacks. To be honest, before the apocalypse, human leaders cared about power and money above all else, and for all I know, stupid decisions probably caused whatever happened to start the apocalypse. I would hope an interplanetary leadership focuses on its citizens and doesn’t put money first, as our “governments” tend to do. The other humans seem to be worried about becoming slaves, but this doesn’t have to be the case. There are numerous unemployed people since the apocalypse, and we can likely be given jobs within the empire. After all, an integrated population is much less likely to riot than an uncontent population. Human empires tend to fall and split up when the empire gets so big and they don’t care about the citizenry, causing revolts((I can't actually answer these questions, as its Avetruetotheimperator's stuff and he didn't post.))
Fly around the mecha and start buzzing like a fly(4) While the mecha's giving out orders you fly around him and start buzzing he seems to be annoyed by this.
Get back to my postapocalyptic cubicle and invent more ways to cut up paper.(2) You spend several minutes cutting up various pieces of paper to see if you come up with anything unique, but in the end you discover that it has all been done before.
Excellent feast on victory then back to the car and keep driving in direction of the Power Ranger(Feasting = 3) You eat the feast of meats you prepared its good but it could have used some seasonings.
NEED BIGGER METEOR. SUMMON THE CERES ASTEROID AND THROW IT AT THE NEW "OVER"DEITY OF "ALL" HOLIDAYS.(Summoning Ceres = 6) You uses your godly powers to summon the asteroid know as Ceres to your current position.
Use my sword to parry his rush at me, then counterattack with a powerful uppercut slash!(Parrying the rush = 5) The ninja Elvis rushes at you and you parry his attack before he gets close.
CLOSE THE DOOR BEFORE ANYONE CAN FOLLOW ME(Closing and barricading the door = 4) You slam the door shut then lock it and throw every piece of furniture you can grab at the door.
LOCK IT/MAYBE BARRICADE WITH CHAIR OR SOMETHING
THEN GO FIND THE KITCHEN AND SEE WHAT THERE IS TO EAT
Have the tank continue to attack the house, while everyone else starts setting up fortifications around the town to prepare for the incoming army.The earthnoid sniper is still flying around you, but now it's started buzzing and its annoying.
Defeat the Unholy Pail and get out of Super Hell.(Defeating the Unholy Pail = 1) After a bit of messing with the door to your cell you mannage to open it, then suddenly everything explods as a massive mettior slams into the building, you get slamed into a wall but you survive, you also feel that the Unholy Pail also suvived the mettior.
Go punch the tank.Yoink is currently being attacked by the furniture inside of you.
Fire elementals set the tank in fire.
(what's interting about Jupiter is that if it wasn't orbiting the Sun and was a bit bigger, it might have been classified as a brown dwarf)(Cool fact, but also NEEEEEEERD)
I looked up what defines a brown dwarf and they have to be at least 13 Jupiter masses, the mass at which deuterium starts fusing. So if Jupiter were grow 13 times its size, it would be a star(what's interting about Jupiter is that if it wasn't orbiting the Sun and was a bit bigger, it might have been classified as a brown dwarf)(Cool fact, but also NEEEEEEERD)
I’m worried these people may try to kill me. It was simple, if you can’t beat them, join them.(3) You walk out of the tent and look around you see a bunch of aliens working on repairing a tank, and they tell you to get back into the tent.
Leave the tent and look around to see if I can help with anything
Pick my pipe and cooking tools and start walking(4) You grab your pipe and cooking tools then climb over the barricade and start walking, eventually you get to the city center now all you have to do is figure out witch building has the power ranger guy in it.
"You know what? I don't have anymore tricks under my sleeve.. I forfeit! Let's work together to recapture your candy. I might win more if I integrate the Spcae Kraken to my being"(Healing you and the knight = 1) You try to heal the knight and yourself but you fail to do so.
Use remaining plant life force to heal our wounds. Also, try again with the Kaiju trees.
Use my power as overdiety of all holidays to cancel ADN’s powers.(2) You try to cancel ANGRY's power but you can't for some reason, maybe it because your trapped in a collapsed building in Super Hell.
Furniture: Pin Yoink to the door he barricaded, then finish him off with a frying pan smashing the head.(Furniture pinning Yoink = 4) He seems to ignore the furniture which makes it easy for them to gab him.
My arm: Arise and start attacking the military by spewing pus on them.
Fire Elementals: Ditto, but throw fireballs at the military instead.
Assist the furniture inside me by increasing the gravity inside me; it'll be harder to dodge furniture that way.
Sun's going down. Leave work and walk home.(2) You try to leave but your boss tells you that he needs you to work overtime, he then takes you to a room filled with papers and he tells you to sort them.
STEAL ALL THE WORLD'S GUMBALL MACHINES O ACHIEVE A HIGHER LEVEL OF POWER. THEN THROW...*GOOGLES BIG PLANETS* JUPITER AT SMOKE AND MIRRORS!(Stealing all the gumball machines = 4) Using your powers you steal all the Earth's the gumball machines.
IGNORE ANIMATED FURNITURE, IS CLEARLY NOT REAL(Ignoring the furniture = 5) You successfully ignore the furniture, and pretend it doesn't exist.
TF IS THIS, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST?!
HEAD TO THE KITCHEN FOR SNACKS AS PLANNED, ALSO ROLL FRESH JOINT
IF MY HALLUCINATIONS STILL ATTACKING ME, ENGAGE EXTREME PROPERTY DAMAGE PROCEDURES UNTIL ALL ARE SMASHED
Settle down on a nearby roof and start firing on any of those invading troops(4) You fly towards a building and land on top of it, and after a bit of looking you see one of the armoured cars stop and some of the troops get out, you take this as an opportunity to shoot and kill a few of them.
“no you don’t. you must pay for your crimes against me and my people, and i am NOT going to just let you get away with it because you surrender!”(Stopping the trees to kaiju = 6) You run up to him as he's starting to cast the spell and slap his face causing him to stop his casting.
stop him from turning trees into kaiju, and imprison him in the public stocks for the people to dispense justice as they see fit. they should be able to recognize him due to his initial attack with his clones.
Well, its time to give some back up then! Arrive in my mech and fight the giant house of death. Its time to show the earthnoids the power of superior spacenoid technology!Before you can react a bunch of flaming creatures show up and start burning your mecha damaging it a little.
Also, get people to move that tank outa here. Back to base to be repaired of course, we'll likely need it in the horde assault after all!
Attack stuff.(3) They kill a scavenger.
Attack stuff.(2) They don't do anything.
Attack stuff.(2) They just sit there.
that's not gonna work very well kakaluncha,
Make noise and scream challenging the Power Ranger to a battle to the death(Challenging the power ranger = 5) You step out into the open and yell out your challenge, it mostly involves you talking about how weak he is compared to you and how he's a tiny baby man.
IGNORE/SWAT AWAY HALLUCINATIONS(Ignoring/swatting away the furniture = 4) You ignore the funiture as it struggles to get to you and fails to do so in zero-g.
GET TO KITCHEN
SEARCH FOR SNACKS
Shoot more aliens(4) You shoot several more of the guys in the armoured car.
TIME TO FINISH THIS, THROW THE SUN-NO WAIT NEED THAT FOR LIVING...THROW VY CANIS MAJORIS AT HIM, BASEBALL PITCHING STYLE.(5) Using your massive powers you grab VY Canis Majoris, then open a portal to whats left of Super Hell and wind up and throw it like a fast ball into the portal where it burns up everything that was left of Super Hell, you feel that this did massive amounts of damage to Smoke Mirrors but didn't kill him.
(Question, where are the various moons of Jupiter headed off to since Jupiter was destroyed? Do they now join the asteroid belt? Orbit Saturn? Do they crash into each other forming an planet from the amalgamation of all of the moons?)((Their still there in space doing Jupiter moon stuff.))
Head back to the tent. Practice telekinesis on one of the chairs
"Okay, that's it. Time to feel the revolution"(Sexy pelvis thrusts for revolution = 1) You try to do sexy pelvis thrusting but you end up just humping the stocks, the people that pass by you give you strange looks.
Using sexy pelvis thrusts, convince the citizens that a revolution to overthrow their rulers is needed, which is the only way to fix the fief's problems. Also, introduce them to anarchism, for even more chaos.
Sort the papers.(2) You try to sort the papers but there's so many of them you have trouble figuring out where some of them go, and there's still more papers to sort.
that's not gonna work very well kakaluncha, Especially since you're in stocks. (https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4022/4708240301_b0f2bb7e01_b.jpg)(Finding an axe = 6) After digging around in the fief's tool storage you finally find an axe.
time to do some repair work. get an axe and slay the walking trees with it, then use the wood to try and repair the damaged buildings. let ninja elvis sit in the stocks to entertain the bored masses while he thinks about his life.
also, shouldn't the hunting party be.. ya know, hunting animals for food?
Keep trying to regain the control of my torn-off arm, then command it to trip the mecha.(Regaining control of severed arm = 5) After a bit of concentration you manage to get control of your severed arm.
Furniture & the frying pan: Keep Yoink pinned and smack him in the head.
Fire Elementals: Try to find a hole in the mecha, then go through it and explode the mecha's core.
Keep my distance from the mecha; if it shoots at me, try blocking the bullets with my remaining arm.
Alright, send in the other mecha against whatever's shooting at that armored car. Meanwhile, I'm going to disengage from that giant house. Just so I can reinforce my faltering troops and devastate the horde! Who knows, maybe I'll even get to fight against a Zord or something.(Sending the other mecha to attack the sniper = 4) The mecha arrives just after the sniper kills a few more of your guys, then the mecha smashes the building the guys was on probably injuring him in the process.
Also get that tank out there, fighting stuff!
Put myself out and get out of Super Hell.(Putting yourself out = 6) After a bit of rolling around on the ground you manage to put the fire out
Attack stuff.(1) They get killed by the mecha.
Attack stuff.(3-1 For mecha attack) They don't really do anything.
Attack stuff.(3-2 For mecha and tank attack) A massive fireball and the truck is gone.
"OH HELL YES."(Grabbing all the stuff = 5) You grab all the snacks and stuff them into your backpack.
GRAB AN ARMFUL OF SNACKS AND AS MUCH BEER AS I CAN CARRY
(HOPEFULLY BUNCH OF CANS IN BEER RING, HOLD THAT IN TEETH)
THEN HEAD TO COUCH, TURN ON TV
CRACK OPEN BEER WITH FOREHEAD LIKE BADASS AND SHOTGUN IT (NOT LITERALLY)
Exit the tent with the floating chair and have it go towards the attacking animals. Hopefully them getting hit with wood/metal/whatever these chairs are made of will do some damage/knock them out of the vehicles(4) You walk out of the tent with your floating chair, then you go to where the fighting is and throw the chair at one of the attacking animals and kill it.
Ow, fly away and land somewhere safe from the mecha. Apply first aid(Flying away and finding a safe place = 4) As you fly away you see the mecha chase you but you fly faster than it can move and eventually you lose it, then you find a safe roof to land on.
CREATE A WORLDWIDE DEMON SUMMONING SEAL. GONNA NEED IT FOR THE R I T U A L(6) Using your godly powers you create a demon summoning seal that covers the ENTIRE planet Earth and the moon.
Hide the papers around the room to make it look like I have less work to do.(1) You start to hide the papers when your boss walk in, he demands to know what your doing when he sees that your cramming papers behind a cabinet.
Start attacking, try to trick him to disarm him of his weapon(You attacking the Power ranger = 5) Before he can draw his weapon you smash him in the face with your pipe causing him to drop the legendary weapon, that appears to be a gun of some kind.
Start a friendly conversation with the townsfolk, and convince them to set me free. After that, use the lake's water to resupply the crops, so they improve in quality.(Friendly conversations = 5) You spend several minutes talking to the people of the fief and eventually they start talking back to you and you get a conversation going, after several more minutes you feel that you have raised moral.
Let ninja elvis out of the stocks since morale is starting to improve, on the condition that the next time he causes trouble here he gets guillotined.When you get to the stocks you see that the Ninja Elvis is talking to the people and you get a felling that the fief's moral has raised.
Return the axe I used to the toolshed, and tend to both of our wounds.
Resume the gravity inside me, then command the furniture to smash Yoink against the wall.(Resuming internal gravity = 5) It takes a second but you turn your internal gravity back on.
If that fails, suck the Yoink inside the hellish plane of existence through a portal that shall suddenly appear near him.
Eh . . . why the hell not?(4) You continue to meditate for a long time, and eventually you feel that your getting close to enlightenment.
> Become an ascetic monk. Reach Enlightenment.
Have the other mecha continue to attack the sniper, the tank will go after the renaming vehicles, and I shall assist the troops in removing the renaming animals.One of the earthnoid civilians comes out of the medical tent with a floating chair, then the chair flies off and hits and kills one of the attacking animals.
Use my powers to escape Super Hell.(4) Using your powers you escape the now destroyed Super Hell, you now find yourself back in the town.
Attack stuff.(1) They get killed by aliens.
Attack stuff.(1) They get killed by aliens.
Attack stuff.(2) They don't really do anything and gets damaged by the tank.
(What do you mean by one person in my inventory? I am confused by this, does this mean thst someone followed me, does it mean I took someone and put them in my bag? Is the person alive or dead?)(It represents a follower and they're alive, I thought I removed that person from you when I added them to Avetruetotheimperator sense they stopped trusting you.)
"Thanks! Now let's try this again!"(Animating the lake = 5) Using magical powers you animate the lake and it appears as a snake like thing with arms, it wiggles around and waits for your orders.
Animate the lake and ask it to take care of the crops. After that, send the trees after the intergalactic kraken.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(What do you mean by one person in my inventory? I am confused by this, does this mean thst someone followed me, does it mean I took someone and put them in my bag? Is the person alive or dead?)(Using telekinesis on the corpse = 2+2 For telekinesis) Using your telekinetic powers you grab the thing you just killed with the chair.
Use telekinesis on the corpse of the animal I just killed and cause it to slam into the nearest animal or mutant as fast as I can. Have it move in a few circles before the slamming to have it gain momentum and speed. Try to use telekinesis on one of the living mutants to bring one of them as high as possible, then stop the telekinesis, causing it to fall
grab the legendary weapon.(You grabbing the weapon = 6) You reach and grab the legendary gun thing before the power ranger can, and you hit him in the face with it for added affect.
STEAL THE NECRONOMICON FROM BRUCE CAMPBELL USING GOD POWERS.(4) Using your magical god powers you teleport the necronomicon into your hands, you didn't have to even have to fight anyone it just appeared in your hands.
Find a handheld anti tank weapon(5) You go to a random house and start digging around and somehow find a anti-tank rifle, what are the odds of finding that?
> Meditate and try to reach Enlightenment again.(4) After several more minutes of meditation you finally reach enlightenment and its beautiful.
I need to make an excuse, quickly!(4) You stand there for a second stammering, before finally blurting out that you had come up with a new filing system, your boss sands there and says okay then walks out. Looks like you got away with it.
"I was...just...avoiding...work! Yes, wait, I mean no!"
TAKE SWIG OF BEER(Drinking the beer = 3) You go to drink the beer and it explodes sending glass everywhere injuring your face and hand.
ROLL JOINT ON COFFEE TABLE
DEFEND SELF FROM THREATS W/ SHOTGUN AS APPROPRIATE
The beer bottle: Explode(Beer bottle exploding = 5) You use your powers to make the bottle explode sending glass everywhere injuring Yoink.
Furniture: Remove the barricade from the door.
Once the barricade's removed, go and start eating some pedestrians again.
if I have any spare material from patching the buildings, use it to reinforce the damaged sections of the wall.(4) You gather up the leftover wood and use it to repair and reinforce the damaged sections of the wall.
Have the mecha return to base and help defend it, the tank will continue to attack the vehicles, and I shall continue to assist the troops in killing the animals.(Mecha returning to base and aiding in defense = 5) It takes a few minutes but it gets back to the base and it aids in the defense.
Attack stuff.(4-2 For multiple attackers) They don't manage to do anything.
Attack stuff.(4) They manage to kill some of the alien troops.
Continue using telekinesis to make the corpses slam into the living(4) You continue to pickup corpses and kill living animals with them, killing several more animals.
PRAY FOR A BLESSING FROM THE ALL MIGHTY SUPREME LORD OF SPOOKINESS, MR SKELTAL. DON'T FORGET TO THANK HIM IF HE GRANTS THIS HUMBLE BEING THAT PRAYER.(5) You get down on your knees and pray to The all mighty MR SKELTAL, and after a minute there's a loud Doot Doot and he appears before you and bestows upon you the blessing of strong bones and spookiness, you quickly thank him and he returns to the spooky place he came from.
"Now, we must part ways!"(2) You swap from your Ninja Elvis costume to your Robespierre costume, then you try to get to space but you quickly realize that you can't because you have no way to get there.
Having learned some lesson about moralty, put on a Robespierre costume, and go myself after that damn Intergalactic Kraken.
Furniture: Keep trying to remove the barricade.(Furniture removing the barricade = 5) The furniture finally manages to remove the barricade.
Try creating a portal to the hellish plane of mine again. Suck Yoink in and shut the portal down.
Store gun thingy and proceed to hit the Power Ranger with the pipe.(Your action = 2) Stuff the LEGENDARY GUN THING in your backpack, then swing your pipe at the power ranger, but you miss.
Find that mecha and shoot it with the anti tank rifle(Finding the mecha = 5) It takes several minutes but you find it fighting a large group of animals along side some other alien troops.
EMIT MANLY GRUNT OF PAIN BUT OTHERWISE IGNORE GLASS SHRAPNEL(Manly grunting and ignoring the glass = 5) You emit the most MANLY GRUNT EVER, while ignoring all the glass stuck in your body.
LIGHT JOINT FROM MY PANTS WHICH ARE APPARENTLY STILL ON FIRE ACCORDING TO CHARACTER STATUS?? HUH.
IF PORTAL APPEARS BEFORE ME, KICK BACK AND WATCH IT LIKE THE TV THIS ROOM SO SORELY LACKING
Try hiding the papers again.(4) You wait a for a little bit after your boss leaves before you start shoving the papers behind the filing cabinet until you run out of papers.
Go find some medical stuff to heal myself.(Finding medical stuff = 5) After digging around in a house for a few minutes you finally find a first aid kit.
Continue to meditate.(3) You continue to meditate and you continue to enjoy the entitlement.
Repair my armour and sharpen my sword.(Repairing the armour = 2) You try to fix your armour, but can't for some reason.
I shall assist the other mecha and troops defend the park, and the tank will take out the last vehicle/(Mecha fighting the animals = 5) You manage to kill off a a bunch of animals.
Attack stuff.(4-3 For being attacked) They get hit with a plethora of different attacks and die.
Attack stuff.(3-2 For tank) They get hit with a tank shell and explode.
Have the corpses congeal into a sphere of flesh as it runs over other animals adding them to the corpse sphere(Making a ball of corpses = 5) Using your powers you squish all the corpses into a big ball.
Return to the original town and call the citizens to rise under my lead for the glory of France(Returning to the town = 5) It takes several minutes for you to walk back to the town.
"Citizens of this town! The nobility, and clergies have oppressed the thoughts of the people for far too long! We must rise, and purge the past, so that we may enter a new era of Enlightment!"
HAVE PUFF(Smoking the joint = 3+1 For lighter) You light your joint and smoke it.
PULL TV REMOTE FROM BETWEEN COUCH CUSHIONS, ATTEMPT TO CHANGE PORTAL CHANNEL TO SOMETHING MORE ENTERTAINING
MAYBE SOME BADASS DEMON BLOODSPORTS OR SOMETHING
Get Funky(3) You start dancing your FUNKY dance, but you trip on your own feet and fall over.
ACTIVATE THE CIRCLE AND REPLACE ALL WATER IN THE WORLD WITH BONE HURTING JUICE(Activating the circle = 5-3 For something someone did) Using your powers you activate the circle, but something strange happens instead of changing all the water into bone hurting juice you feel your powers get weaker temporarily and you get a sense that someone has fucked with circle.
Keep shooting the mecha(5) You shoot the mecha several more times, and it seems like you hit something important as it seems to lose the ability to move and powers down.
Resume my quest to find candy and regain the full power of my holy magic.(3) After a few minutes of searching around you find one small candy.
Now that my work is "done", I walk home.(2) As you go to leave you see that there are even more papers on your desk, you don't have any idea of where they might have come from.
Kick him while he is down(Your action = 4) You kick the power ranger in the chest several times, you hear the animals in the background booing you.
Enlarge the portal, suck Yoink into demon bloodsports dimension.(Enlarging the portal = 5) You finally manage to make the portal bigger.
Start eating pedestrians and turn them into fire elements.
Try to heal myself some more.(5) Using the rest of the first aid stuff you heal yourself some more.
Continue to meditate and try to find the meaning of life.(5) It takes what feels like life times but you finally find what you believe to be the meaning of life.
Continue to assist the troops in defending the park, the other mecha shall try to find whats shooting at it and fight back, and the tank shall assist in the finishing off the animals.(Mecha attacking animals = 5) You go and smash some of the remaining animals with a lamp post.
Attack stuff.(6) They manage to kill off the last APC's troops, but they also get killed off.
LOOK AROUND "WHOAH, MAN, THIS IS SOME GOOD SHIT" HIT JOINT(4) You quickly take a hit from your joint and start shooting and killing all the nearby demons, the killing of demons is so fast and efficient that it'd make DOOMGUY proud!
THEN RACK A SHELL INTO MY SHOTGUN AND GO FULL DOOMGUY ON THE DEMONS IN MY VICINITY
"I knew it! We have traitors inside our ranks!"(Making the guillotine = 3) After ducking behind a building you gather several items and start to work on your guillotine, when your finished its less of a guillotine and more of a sharp blade on a rope.
Create a handmade guillotine and start decapitating people until they are persuaded
USE A FEW MILLION SOULS TO FIX THIS AND GET ON WITH THE BONE HURTING PLAN(Using a few million souls to fix = 6) You spend a few million souls to fix the summoning circle, but while you did fix the circle you also feel that something strange happened its like you gave some of the souls to someone for some reason.
Close the portal, so that Yoink gets stuck in the demon dimension forever.(Closing the portal = 6) You close the portal so well that you'll never be able to open a portal to the demon bloodsports dimension again.
Keep turning pedestrians into fire elementals, until I have at least a hundred of them.
now, shoot the tank(1) You go to shoot the tank and your gun jams.
(Its cool, college is more important than a forum game.)Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sorry for my spotty action posting. Midterms are coming up.
Look for whoever shot the mecha, and have the corpse ball split into two equally sized balls and have them fly at the shooter(Finding the shooter = 5) It doesn't take you long to figure out which roof the sniper is on.
"This is getting out of hand. I'm going to have to resort to desperate measures."(3) You start sorting papers like mad and after several minutes of work you make a small dint in the pile of papers.
Actually get the work done so I can leave.
Grab the power Ranger and throw him at the booing animals(Your action = 4) You grab the power ranger and throw him into the crowd.
Grab a FUNK-Master costume to hopefully increase FUNKability, then attempt to initiate Back to the Funkture 2: Lost in FUNK.(Increasing FUNKability = 2+2 For FUNK-Master) You quickly equip your FUNK-Master apparel and that immediately increases your FUNKability.
Keep trying to find candy to restore holy magic to full power.(4) After a bit more searching you find a bowl of candy that was sitting on someones porch.
Leave my meditative state and go out and help others reach enlightenment.(Leaving the meditative state = 5) You quickly leave your meditative state.
Reload my gun and have the mechap pilot get to safety, then have the tank shoot the sniper.(Reloading your gun = 6) You quickly reload your gun from the ammo stockpile.
Escape the animal ball and fly away!Use telekinesis to have me chase TCK. If I can, bring a sword with me
DO THE PLAN!(3) Using your summoning circle you initiate your plane to change water into Bone hurting juice, but you only manage to change the Great Lakes into bone hurting juice.
EQUIP JOINT TO MOUTH, CONTINUE BLASTING ANY HOSTILE DEMONS(Equipping joint = 2) You would put the joint in your mouth but you find that you already smoked it all.
TRY TO WORK OUT WHERE I AM, SOME KIND OF ARENA? HOW THIS PLACE WORK ANYWAY?
T pose at Power Ranger to humiliate him further(Your action = 4) You T-pose at him and he seems scarred of your powerful T-posing.
No, you fools! You will become enemies of the state if you run! Join me! Join the jacobins!"(Convincing people to join you using decapitation = 2) You quickly run after the fleeing people while swing The Flying Guillotine around, and you decapitate several more of them before they disperse into the ruins and escape you.
Through decapitation means, convince the population to join the Revolution. If that fails, go to France
Escape the animal ball and fly away!(Escaping the corpse ball = 4) It takes several minutes to dig yourself out of the pile of corpses.
Hurry up and try to get the work done before midnight.(4) You set yourself into overdrive and start rapidly sorting and putting away the papers, and you just barely make it before midnight but at least you finish.
(Using telekinesis to follow The Canadian Kitten = 5) You quickly catch up to The Canadian Kitten with your telekinetic floating, you do see that he has noticed you.Escape the animal ball and fly away!Use telekinesis to have me chase TCK. If I can, bring a sword with me
Keep FUNKing to stabilize the portal, and attempt to bring more FUNK into this world from the Funkiverse.(Continuing to FUNK = 4) You keep the FUNK going.
Go trash some buildings and craft an arm with a blade instead of hand from the debris.(Trashing some buildings to build a new blade arm = 6) You smash several buildings and houses then gather the parts to make a new arm, its less of a blade and more like a giant sword arm.
Just get some small rest to heal my knees and other wounded parts.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
using the candy I found and my unshakable faith, attempt to banish the powers of halloween, at least until next year!(4) Using the power the candy you have you banish Halloween and at the stroke of midnight Halloween is over and it won't be back until next year, you feel that you might need a lot more candy to banish the God of Halloween.
Continue to look for people to enlighten.(3) After a few minutes you find one guy and you enlighten him.
Use my mecha to open the door on the other mecha to free the pilot, then drag the damaged mecha back to base for repairs, then use the radio to call for some equipment to help repair the mecha and some more troops to replace those from the APCs that were killed.(Using mecha to open the other mecha = 5) You quickly pry the door open and free the trapped pilot, and you manage to not damage the mecha anymore that it already was.
Leave the office and hurry home.(5) You quickly run from your office, you run faster than you have ever run before and before you know it your back at your house.
Try to cause the shooter’s fingers to bend backwards(5) You continue to float after the sniper, while using your powers to bend and dislocate all his fingers.
WELL TIME TO GO PACK UP AND LEAVE, BUT FIRST USE ALL THE SOULS TO MAKE A GIANT PUMPKIN ZOMBIE 7 BILLION STRONG ARMY TO DESTROY CANADA.(Making the 7 billion strong giant pumpkin army = 6) Using ALL the souls you make a giant pumpkin zombie army seven billion strong, but again you feel something strange happen like you gave someone some of the souls for some reason.
Keep flying away and try to gain the powers of a god(4) You continue to fly and the person continues to follow you, then you do something magical while flying and you get some god powers.
This is just sad, gently pick up the power Ranger and place him into a trashcan to finish the battle(Throwing the power ranger away = 5) You gently pick up the power ranger and gently place him in a nearby trashcan.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Immerse myself in the Funkiverse, then try again.(Immersing self in the Funkiverse = 5) You quickly immerse yourself in the pure FUNKINESS of the Funkiverse empowering your inner FUNK.
Animate the blood on my blade into a animated blood pilot, who will take me to France.(Animating blood into a pilot = 2+2 For blood) Using all the blood from the decapitated corpses you create a blood pilot to fly the plane.
SMILE AND WAVE TO CROWD(Smiling and waving = 3) You look at the crowd and wave at them, but as you do this you trip and stumble on a rock you weren't paying attention to, some of the demons in the crowd laugh when this happens.
CONTINUE DEFENDING SELF FROM OPPONENTS
LOOK AROUND FOR ANY GEAR/ITEMS I MIGHT USE OR DOORS OR WHATEVER
Rest some more to heal the rest of the way, then go find more pedestrians the convert into fire elementals.(Resting = 6) You spend several more minutes resting, and it seems to have healed all your wounds.
Go find more candy so I can banish the Halloween and its god.(4) You continue your quest to find even more candy, and you succeed and find two big bags of candy.
Go find more people to enlighten.(5) You go around and find even more people to enlighten.
Have one of the APC crews gather and prepare the corpses of the fallen to be taken back to the mothership, while the other APCs and the tank go out and resecure the town, while me and the other mecha build a wall around the park.(Gathering and preparing the dead troops for return to the mothership = 3) They manage to get most of the corpses ready for transport, but find that several are missing and they're believed to be part of the massive corpse ball and will take some time to extract from it.
Write a manifesto that's centered around Cult to the Supreme Being, improving it so that it does not fail like the original did(Writing a manifesto about a cult of the supreme being = 3) You spend the next few minutes working on the manifesto, but it looks like you need to spell check and edit the crap out of it.
Slice through the incoming zombie horde and eat the remaining zombies to turn them into fire elementals.(Slicing the zombies = 4) You run for a bit until you finally get to the front line of the zombie army, then you kill a bunch of them with your sword arm.
Fire elementals: Assist the master by throwing fireballs at the zombies.
Bend the sniper’s knees backwards breaking his legs, whether or not this succeeds, try rotating his spine(Bending the snipers knees backwards = 1) You accidentally target yourself and bend your own legs backwards breaking them.
Flop around on the floor and cry.(4) You start flopping around your house crying, knocking down a bunch of your stuff and dead opossums, your now burred under a bunch of dead opossums again.
Smite the attacker(4) You smite the floating person by throwing a lighting bolt at them, and it hits them and they fall from the sky.
Sure why not I will lead the animals first order.You tell the animals that you'll lead them and they accept your leadership, you now have a very big army of animals.
Help me to find the power ranger Zord(giant robot) I have a feeling that we will need it soon.
Restore the liquids back to normal.(3) Using your powerful magics you mess with the bone healing juice for a bit, but you only manage to turn all of the bone healing juice on the Earth's surface back to normal, leaving the core untouched.
Gather some FUNKY disciples, and try to funkify the Bone Healing Juice, making it too hot to handle, thereby replacing the magma.(Gathering some FUNKY disciples = 6) You wander around for a bit before you finally find a large group of people, so you quickly begin some FUNKY DANCING and show those people the power of FUNK and they quickly decide to join you as your FUNKY disciples.
CONTINUE DEFENDING SELF FROM THREATS(Defending self from threats = 3+1 For gun) You use your shotgun to kill even more demons.
ASK BIG SWORD DEMON FROM SAFE DISTANCE "SUP?"
Wake up from my combat haze and get going. Firstly, SIT-REP!(SIT-REP = 4) Well the sniper got a giant ball of corpses dropped on him after he severely damaged the other mecha, the army of animals got killed off and they killed off the APC's troops, then you got the mecha fixed and troops to replace the ones that got killed, and that's about it.
Also, find out what's causing these...Quakes.
START PACKING, AND GIVE THE PUMPKIN ARMY SOME KIND OF WEAPONS.(Packing your stuff = 3) You start packing your stuff but you find that your suitcase is to small for all of your things.
Gather more candy.(5) You break into a store and gather even more candy.
Me and my followers will go out and enlighten more people.(You enlightening people = 3) You only manage to enlighten one person this time around.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(6) They destroy a bunch of stuff but some of them die.
Tell the animals to tell me how the army is doing.(Animals telling you how the armies doing = 5) Their scouts have reported a massive army coming out of Canada and that they are preparing the city for when it arrives.
Also try to discover how to use the legendary gun.
"Well, I can wait!"(Correcting mistakes in the manifesto = 5) It takes a bit of going over the manifesto, but you finally fix all the grammatical errors and spelling mistakes.
Start correcting any mistakes in my manifesto. Also, try to invoke the ghost of the original Robespierre.
Try to heal myself by setting my broken bones in the proper places and try draining life from the plants I fell near to assist in healing(Setting your broken legs = 4) It takes you a little bit of work to get your broken legs set back into place and braced.
Remove Naturegirl's telekinesis powers(3) You don't manage to remove the power but you do manage to suppress them. (For two turns.)
Make the Pumpkin demons have free will and be pacifists.(Giving Pumpkin demons free will = 4) Using your powerful magics you give the Pumpkin zombies free will.
Get up, pretend that didn't happen, and find something for dinner.(Pretending that didn't happen = 5) You quickly stand up and brush yourself off and wipe away the tears, then forget that that just happened.
With the disciples, attempt to usher in a new age of FUNK, and expand the portal(Ushering in a new age of FUNK with help = 3) Even with the help of your FUNKY friends there just wasn't enough FUNK to usher in a new FUNKY age.
Keep eating and cutting down the zombie army.(Cutting the zombies = 3) You cut down several zombies with your sword arm.
Give my avatar "zombifying" powers: if they burn someone down, they get resurrected as a fellow fire elemental.
If giving the powers is successful, then fire elementals shall attack the zombies, making even more fire elementals.
DROP TO KNEES AND POWER SLIDE THROUGH SWORD DEMON'S LEGS(Power sliding through the demon's legs = 6) You take a running start then start sliding towards the demon, while you do get hit on the way you manage to slide your way between the demons legs.
SACK-TAP HIM ON WAY THROUGH, PREFERABLY NON-LETHALLY
OH, AND SHOOT ANY OTHER DEMONS WHAT COME AT ME OF COURSE
Gather troops and start fortifying the area around the pack in preparation for the incoming creatures.(3) You and your troops fortify the park even more that it already was.
GET A BIGGER SUITCASE AND PACK MY STUFF AND GIVE THE REST OF THE ZOMBIE PUMPKINS WEAPONS.(Getting a bigger suitcase = 5) You go and steal a bigger suit case from some dead guy.
Use a map to find a candy factory then go there and take all the candy.(Finding a candy factory = 6) It takes a several minutes to find the place on a map, but you eventually find it.
Go out and enlighten more people, while my followers start building a monastery.(Enlightening = 5) You go out and enlighten even more people.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(3) They break some mirrors.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(2) They don't do jack shit.
Order the animals to prepare traps to defend ourselves from the army.(Setting traps = 5) It takes a bit for them to set up traps all over the city.
Then go to zord and try to discover how to pilot it.
Also pass the gun to anyone capable of using it like a monkey or a team of squirrels
"My dear Robespierre, I think your ideals didn't die with the guillotine. I belive France must once again become Revolutionary, if we want to make the Revolution of Individuals eternal. Not only that, I belive we can use this opportunity to expand the Enlightment to the stars. But for that, I need you to teach me the art of the coup d'état: Jacobin Edition. TEach me, Maximillian Robespierre, and together we may rule the galaxy!"(Learning from the art of coup d'etat = 3) You spend several minutes trying to learn the art of coup d'etat, but it looks like you need some more time.
Learn from the art of the coup d'etat. Also, invoke the ghosts of Napoleon and Marat for extra advice on ruling and creating propaganda.
try to get away from the sniper and head for the fortified section with the alien army(Getting away from the sniper = 5) You quickly crawl away from and out of sight of the sniper.
Alright, send a transmission for reinforcement. We likely need more in order to face whatever will come at us(Getting reinforcements = 2+2 For radio) You pickup the radio and start requesting reinforcements for when the giant army gets to your postilion, and after a few minutes of talking they tell you they'll send a tank, three mobile artillery pieces, and four infantry squads, they tell you that the new troops will arrive in thirty minutes. (Next turn)
Also, find wherever the earthnoids went.
Use my god powers to call down a giant rock to crash upon Nature girl(1) You use your powers to call down a giant rock, but your not yet used to your powers and accidentally call forth the moon, which is now hurtling towards the Earth and will arrive in three turns and kill everyone.
Boil one of my possums for dinner.(5) You quickly grab a pot and fill it with water, then you drop the opossum in and set it to boil, and after a few minutes you have one boiled opossum.
Along with my fire elementals, begin to chant in some ancient tongue in order to summon a meteor storm upon the zombie army.(Chanting 3+1 For Fire elementals helping) You and your fire elementals begin chanting in some long forgotten language and summon a meteor storm above the zombie army.
Enter the FUNKiverse. Get FUNKED up.(5) You and your FUNKY friends all walk into the Funkiverse, and you all feel the FULL POWER OF THE FUNK if you weren't so well antiquated with the power of FUNK you would probably be overwhelmed by its FUNKINESS.
...in the spirit of the holiday season convince the pumpkin demons to lay down their arms and embrace peace and goodwill towards man. I am overdeity of all holidays, as such, I have Christmas powers.(Convincing them to lay down their arms = 5) You convince them to lay down their arms for a period of peace.
GRAB THE DEAD DEMONS SWORD AND KILL ANY DOMINOES THAT GET CLOSE TO ME.(Grabbing the sword = 3) You try to garb the sword but get blocked by demons.
DO SOMETHING TO PREVENT SMOKE MIRRORS FROM MESSING WITH THE PUMPKIN ZOMBIES.(2) You try to do something but you end up doing nothing.
Keep heading to wards the factory, once there gather all of the candy.(Getting to the factory = 4) It takes a long time to walk there but you finally manage to do it.
Help my followers gather tools and materials to build the monastery.(Finding tools = 6) You and your followers find a bunch of tools in a rickety building, and as you go to leave the building collapses, causing injuries to everyone in your group.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(5) They burn down a bunch of houses.
Try again my previous actions (studying the art of the coup, propaganda, and ruling, summoning Marat. Also, explain what a plane is.(Studying the art of the coup = 6) Somehow you learn everything there is to know about coup's in the span of a few minutes.
((I just have this hilarious image of three radical french ghosts acting like children inside the plane))
Wait for the water to cool down a bit to drink it safely and then eat dinner.(4) You wait a few minutes for the water to cool, and you eat the opossum, bones, hair, and all, then you drink the water and it tastes line drinking the smell of wet dog.
Okay, time for the Plan B: shove my legs and the ordinary arm deeply into the ground, then start rapidly growing and transform into a gigantic eucalyptus tree, with a house at the top of it.(Shoving arm and legs into the ground = 6) You quickly shove your arm and legs into the ground, injuring yourself in the process.
Fire elementals will just have to hold the line until I've successfully grown up. They should assume tactical positions (chokepoints) in order to reduce casualties.
Once the growth has been completed, try to lift the town off the Earth and into space, but don't forget about a magical barrier that'll keep the breathable atmosphere inside.
Try getting to the medical tent to heal myself, if possible, try to not wake up the other humans(Getting healed = 5) You spend several minutes dragging yourself into the tent, then you drag yourself into the medical machine and get healed, now your legs are no longer broken.
redirect the moon to the alien forces and then shrink the moon to a small enough size that will have a crater that cover the camp(Redirecting the moon to the alien's base = 6) You use your powers to point the moon in the direction of the alien camp, it should hit directly on top of it now.
Try to summon the other 2 to 4 zords to combine them into the Megazord(Summoning the other zords = 3) You try to summon the other zords, but it turns out they don't have pilots, at least they aren't that far away.
Let the FUNK flood the world.(2) Try as you and your FUNKY friends might you can't release the flood of FUNK, maybe your missing something needed to release the FUNK.
Get everything ready for when the incoming army arrives.(5) You and your troops get into defensible positions, and start moving things into place to defend the park.
Put the moon back where its supposed to be.(5) Using your powers you stop the moon from moving forward, but then it suddenly grows much more massive so you have trouble putting it back as you have to move it out further, but you manage to get it into a stable orbit eventually.
FIND SOMETHING THE HEAL MYSELF WITH, THEN HEAL SELF AND KILL ANY DEMONS THAT GET CLOSE.(Finding healing stuff = 3) After searching the arena for a bit you manage to find some band aids.
TRY AGAIN TO PREVENT PEOPLE MESSING WITH THE PUMPKIN ZOMBIE'S BRAINS.(6) Using your magical god powers you do some magic shit to the pumpkin zombies preventing people from messing with their minds.
Use the power from the candy and my unshakable faith to banish the overdeity of Halloween.(4) Using your all of your candy power and faith you attempt to banish ANGRY, but for some reason a portal opens instead, you get the feeling that in order to banish him all the way you need to shove him into it and close it.
Help my people start building the monastery.(3) You and your followers only manage to get the foundation of your monastery started.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.Not attacking for three more turns.
Try lifting the town off the Earth again.(Lifting the town off the Earth = 2) You try again to lift yourself off the Earth, but no matter how hard you try you can't manage to do it, maybe the town's to heavy.
Start growing/spawning Demonic Foliage (http://darksouls.wikidot.com/demonic-foliage) as my new type of minions.
In the case of ceasefire ending, fire elementals will keep holding the line.
Somehow, connect to the internet and start to building supporters all over France.(Connecting to the internet = 4) It takes a few minutes for your laptop to connect to the internet that somehow still exists.
If that doesn't work, summon Leon Trotsky and Lenin, because I'm having fun with all these ghosts companions. Ask them about the art of the Revolution.
Pilot the zord towards the other zords.(Finding the other zords = 2) You know the other zords are in the city somewhere but you can't seem to find them.
Animal army will increase the city defences
Brush my teeth.(6) You brush and brush your teeth and by the time you finish you realize you've ruined your toothbrush, and by ruined I mean you chewed on it until its gone.
Drop another big rock on the alien forces in the park(Getting a big rock = 5) Using your magical god powers you summon up a big ass rock.
(I LIKE HOW ROLL OF 1 RESULTED IN BADASS FATALITY(Running back to the sword = 5) You run towards the sword dodging demons as you go, and you eventually reach the sword.
I WANTED TO TEAM UP WITH THAT GUY, DAMNIT)
RUN BACK TO GIANT SWORD, LEAP THROUGH CROWD OF DEMONS ONTO IT BOOTS-FIRST
BEGIN SURFING MY WAY ACROSS ARENA ATOP SWORD, SLICING ANYONE IN MY WAY
Get the human to go back to sleep.(4) You sing at the human until he falls back to sleep.
Try again to release the FUNK unto the world.(2) Try as you might you still can't find the thing needed to spread the FUNK into the world.
Build some more fortifications around the park.(6) As your people work on the fortifications, then suddenly a giant rock falls from the sky and crushes two of the APCs killing the crews, after that everyone is on edge and no more work gets done of the fortifications.
Try to convince the pumpkin zombies to keep the ceasefire going.(4) You talk to the pumpkin zombies to get the ceasefire last longer, but suddenly ANGRY shows up and nullifies everything you managed to do.
Convince the pumpkin zombies to end the ceasefire early.(4) You go to the pumpkin zombies and find Smoke Mirrors talking to them, so you go in with a counter argument and nullify everything he was trying to do.
Shove the Halloween god into the portal and shut it.(Shoving ANGRY into the portal = 3) You use your magic to shove the Halloween god slightly towards to portal but not much more than that.
Continue to build the monastery with help from my followers.(1+2 For helpers) You and your people finish the foundation and start building the walls.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.Not attacking for two more turns.
go figure out what caused the noise and try to help rebuild anything that might be broken(Figuring out what happened = 1) You go out side to try to figure out what happened, but suddenly your hit in the back of the head with something and get knocked unconscious.
keep searching for the zords.(Finding the zords = 5) After several more minutes you finally find the four zords all sitting behind a building, now all you need is some pilots.
Animal will keep fortifying the city.
Alright, get some of my medics to search up a cure for the zombie pumpkin things. Also, THROWING THE MOON!? THAT STUFF'S COLONIZED! WHAT ARE THESE GUYS, MADMEN!?(Finding a cure for the zombie pumpkins = 2) Its turns out it hard to find a cure for something when you don't have scientific facilities or scientists.
Also, gather up all the candy we can. We may find it useful.
Go to bed.(5) It only takes you a few minutes to fall asleep.
Heal myself then fly towards a roof near the park(Healing self = 3) You spend a few minutes applying bandages, but this only somewhat heals you.
Publish my manifesto on the Internet and gain more than one follower. I mean, we aren't so meta!(Publishing the manifesto = 5) It takes several minutes to upload the manifesto to the internet, but you get it there.
Meanwhile, asks the ghosts about the afterlife, and how one could escape from it
"Goddamnit internet! You never failed me when I needed memes, so DO NOT fail me now!"
Spread my roots deeply and wide under the town's soil, then finally lift it off into space.(Spreading roots = 6) Your roots grow far and deep eventually encompassing the entire town, but some of the roots grow through other roots causing pain and damage to you.
Keep spawning Demonic Foliage until I have tens of thousands of these things.
Shove Angry through the portal.(4) Using your powers you start to shove ANGRY into the portal but ANGRY resists, then suddenly another force aids in shoving him into the portal and with your combined forces overwhelm ANGRY and shove him into the portal, you then quickly close the portal so he can't get out.
Sorry for missing the last two.
PICKUP THE SWORD AND USE IT TO KILL MORE DEMONS, IF THAT FAILS JUST SHOOT THEM.(Picking up the sword = 3) You struggle to pick up the sword so you give up as its too heavy for you to use.
Search for some FUNKY items to use to allow the FUNK to come into the world.(3) You search around the Funkiverse for several minutes but find no FUNKY item that fills the need you have, but you have a feeling that they might be further in.
Get rid of that portal.(4-2 For being ganged up on) You try to get of the portal when suddenly you feel someone pushing you but you resist, then suddenly someone else stats pushing you and the combined force overwhelms you and you get pushed into the portal where its sealed behind you. Looks like they finally managed to banish you, but it you come back as a player you could escape the banishment.
Keep pushing the Halloween god into the portal.(5) You go to shove ANGRY and you find another force trying to shove him, so you aid in the shoving and with your combined effort you shove ANGRY into the portal, then the other force closes the portal.
Keep building the monastery.(5) After a lot of work you and your followers finally finish the monastery.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.Not attacking for one more turn.
Okay, I can work with this. Land on Lourdes, and publish my enlightment book. Also, use the guillotine to destroy the radioactivty and any mutants that may have emerged from it.(Landing in Lourdes = 5) The plane lands quickly and with out any trouble, then pulls up to the terminal and you and your group disembark including the blood pilot, the city appears to be in good shape considering whats been going on in the world.
Meanwhile, order the ghosts to go to the afterlife and bring me French and Russian soldiers from all eras.
Keep spawning Demonic Foliage.(Spawning more Demonic Foliage = 5) You spend a few minutes spawning more Demonic Foliage, and they quickly go and join the others.
Fire elementals: Get to the high ground.
Both fire elementals & Demonic Foliage: Prepare to exterminate the last remaining zombies from the town, as the ceasefire is bound to end soon.
try to become conscious and right the other humans(Becoming conscious = 6) You immediately wake up and start looking around and find yourself still in the medical tent.
(I'll keep watching, but I'm not going to act until morning so my character can wake up to an even worse apocalypse.)(Everyone here does seem intent on making it worse for some reason.)
Get animals to control the other zords so we can fuse them into the megazord.(Animals controlling the zords = 3+1 For having the manual) It takes a bit longer than you wanted for the animals to get the zords ready as they had to read through the manual for a bit first to figure out how they worked.
The others animals add weapons to the defenses of the city
Shoot at the mecha(Which mecha do you shoot | Heads for leader | Tails for other | = Heads) It takes a little bit to decide on which mecha to shoot, and eventually decide to use the one that's leading everything.
Summon some Funky creatures(3+1 For FUNK) You and your FUNKY friends start to do a FUNKY dance and you guys dance so FUNKY that a small group of the FUNKIEST creatures you've ever seen show up and they start following you around, periodically they stop to dance a little. You nave 23 of these creatures.
Use the radio to ask for a scientist to comedown, then have the scientist try to find a cure for the pumpkin zombie, and the troops shall get ready for the incoming siege, all while I go find the earthnoids that escaped again.(Getting a scientist = 5) You use the radio to request a scientist be sent to help with the incoming problem, and a few minutes later he appears.
Make sure the portal's closed so ANGRY can't return.(5) You use your magic to close the portal and make sure he can't get back through that way, meaning it will be even harder for him to come back now.
TRY AND HEAL MYSELF AGAIN, AND CONTINUE TO DEFEND SELF FROM DEMONS.(Healing yourself = 2) You search your pockets and find no healing items to use.
Go back to my fief and get it ready for the incoming siege, and gather the fiefs militia and get them equipped and ready.(Getting ready for the siege = 6) You quickly run back to the fief and rally the people and everyone starts getting ready for the impending invasion.
Go out and enlighten more people.(5) You and your followers go out and find even more people to enlighten.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.Will resume attacking next turn turn.
EDIT: Does this count as brain alteration/ is this blocked by their immunity?It sounds fine to me, I've already got an idea of how to word it if the dice allow it.
Animals keep adding weapons to the city defenses.
I will use the megazords to attack the Giant Pumpkin Zombie Army
Animals keep adding weapons to the city defenses.
I will use the megazords to attack the Giant Pumpkin Zombie Army
((OOC: Want to team up to destroy the remaining zombies in the town?))
Animals keep adding weapons to the city defenses.
I will use the megazords to attack the Giant Pumpkin Zombie Army
((OOC: Want to team up to destroy the remaining zombies in the town?))
OCC: I think I am too far from the town to even know there are people fighting the zombies there. if I get close enough in the next turn I have no problem with us teaming up.
Infect the pumpkins with the “End of Break Blues” So they feel to lethargic to get back to attacking and just want to sit around and do nothing.(Infecting the pumpkins = 3) You go around to the groups of zombies and tell them about how much better a time they had when they weren't fighting, you only manage to get through to a few groups (How many do you infect = 2) and convince less than than four hundred of them to stop fighting.
School’s back in for me, so I may actually be posting actions more regularly as I can keep track of what day it is.
EDIT: Does this count as brain alteration/ is this blocked by their immunity?
Team up with Avetruetotheimperator's forces in our fight to remove the zombie pumpkin army from the town.(How many pumpkin zombie are in town = 4) You realize that there are over fifty thousand pumpkin zombies in the town somehow.
Spread the roots and create root traps that will grab and immobilize the zombies.
Animals keep adding weapons to the city defenses.(Animals adding weapons to city = 3) They add a few more mounted guns to the city's defense.
I will use the megazords to attack the Giant Pumpkin Zombie Army
Try to search for the other humans(5) It takes a bit but you finally find them hiding in a building and they aren't happy about being found, one of them points a gun at you and tells you to get away from them.
Do I know about the pumpkin zombie army? If yes, then shoot at them for a while. If no, then kill the pliot ot the mecha(Do you know about the pumpkin zombies | Heads = Yes | Tails = No | Heads) You look around to see if anyone's and you see a whole armies worth of pumpkin zombies wondering around the town.
Start a crusade against harmful radiation in France with the Russians. Meanwhile, have all survivors join my faction, with a tribute of 1 candy.(Russians crusading against harmful radiation = 4) You send the Russians out to destroy the radiation, and they set out and destroy most of the radiation in France, there is still some radiation in the mountains and other hard to get to areas but otherwise its all gone.
Also, put on a costume of the Empereor of Mankind. At the same time, establish several propaganda posters in the afterlife for ghosts to join me
Continue to sleep.You continue to sleep, and ignore every horrible thing that's going on outside.
Try to find the FUNKY items needed to bring the FUNK into the world.(2) You and your FUNKY friends search all over, but you can't find anything FUNKY enough to bring the FUNK into the world.
Have the infantry, APC, tank, other mecha, and artillery engage the incoming army, while I destroy the sniper.(Infantry attacking = 3) They kill several of the creatures.
TRY TO GET SOME DEMONS TO JOIN ME, AND DEFEND MYSELF FROM ANY DEMONS THAT TRY TO ATTACK ME.(Getting demons to join you = 2) You ask the demons to join you, but none of them take up your offer.
I will assist the militia and citizens in defending the fief.(You defending = 4) You rush out and cut down dozens of the monsters.
Start building a wall around the monastery, and some farms.(Building the wall = 2) The wall doesn't really get started as everyone was focusing on the farm.
3879 2359 4667(4) They attack the fief and damage somethings.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.
Destroy everything the town.(2) They don't really do anything.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(2) They can't get anyone new to join them.
Ask the humans to help me fight the pumpkin zombies(Getting the humans to help = 5) After seeing the pumpkin zombies they decide that their safer being in a larger group and agree to follow you, but they still don't trust you.
Regardless of their answer, walk away from the humans and use telekinesis to cause the rubble or a destroyed building to rush towards the pumpkin zombies
First of all, unify France under my leadership.(Unifying France = 5) It doesn't take long for you to unite all of whats left of France under your leadership.
Send all the ghosts to the afterlife, and have them gather support in there.
Proclaim myself as the Emperor of Mankind.
Keep attacking the pumpkin zombie army(Megazord continuing attack = 4) You shoot lasers into the incoming zombies killing thousands.
Animal Army keeps defending the city attacking the invading pumpkin zombie army
Fly far away from all of this. Then use my godly powers to heal myself(Getting away = 5) You fly far away from the alien camp and take shelter in a random building.
"ALRIGHT THIS GETTING REPETITIVE"(Punching an opponent through a wall = 5) You run up to and punch the biggest demon you can find in the face, and he goes sailing towards the wall and destroys a big section of it.
PUNCH ONE OF MY OPPONENTS RIGHT THROUGH ARENA WALL, THEN SWORD-SURF THROUGH THE GAP TO EXPLORE MORE OF THIS REALM
AS ALWAYS, DEFEND SELF
AGH, i HATE THAT SNIPER!(Mind crushing the sniper = 1+1 For RAGE) No matter how much HATE and RAGE you have, you can't seem to mindcrush the sniper.
USE MY NEWFOUND RAGE TO FUEL PSIONIC-MAGIC POWERS AND MINDCRUSH HIM!
All other forces continue their assault on the Pumpkin army.
Spawn more Demonic Foliage.(Spawning more demonic foliage = 6) You spawn a bunch more Demonic Foliage, but some of them get eaten by the pumpkin zombies as soon as they spawn.
My minions: keep killing the zombies.
Continue to sleep.You keep sleeping, hoping for a better tomorrow.
Go around convincing the pumpkin zombies to stop fighting.(2) No one wants to listen to your message of peace.
Have the FUNKY friends and FUNKY creatures help me find the FUNKY items needed to release the FUNK into the world.(You looking = 4) After several minutes of searching you find a LAVA LAMP.
Everyone shall continue to defend the fief.(You defending = 6) You stay out of the fief and keep the pumpkin zombies attention on your self, you kill dozens of them and get injured in the process.
Build the wall this time.(5) It takes a bit but you and your followers finish the wall.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(2) They sit around smoking random stuff they found laying around.
Destroy everything the town.(4) They kill some rats.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(4) They manage to convince a bunch of the others to join their commune.
Oh? You're mind crushing me? Then how about I mind crush you back! (Mind crush the alien guy)Use my vauge space psychic powers to mind arm-wrestle the sniper back! Use my mecha's secret psionic boosters to assist this
(The turn is going to be postponed until tomorrow do to having to get up early to go to my uncle's funereal.)
(The turn is going to be postponed until tomorrow do to having to get up early to go to my uncle's funereal.)He may be gone, but instead of grieving for his loss, try to remember the good from when he was alive. I wish you well
We need something more to deal with these zombies. Maybe a sorceress could help? It's been a while since I summoned something, hopefully I don't foget anything important(Summoning a sorceress = 5) It takes a bit to make the circle but you finally finish it and summon the sorceress.
Attempt to summon a sorceress to help kill the pumpkin zombies
Fire elementals will get to the high ground and firebomb the zombies, while Demonic Foliage will be holding the chokepoints.(Fire elementals attacking from the high ground = 4) They start throwing fireballs from the rooftops burning a bunch of the pumpkin zombies.
Spawn some acidic spore sacs and bombard the zombies with them.
Summon the extra zords to empower the Mega-zord.(Summoning more zords to make the megazord more mega = 5) You begin summoning more zords, and after a few minutes five more zords show up doubling your zord count, and when they combine they create the ULTRA-MEGA-ZORD!
Animal army keep killing the invading pumpkins
Cause a coup on radiation so that it becomes my ally.(Causing a coup on the radiation making it an ally = 2+2 For knowing everything about coups) Using your coup causing powers you cause all the remaining French radiation to become your ally.
Meanwhile, the French shall restart the economy of the country, building infrastructure and establishing agriculture on the most fertile zones.
Also, have my followers built multiple mechas.
Oh? You're mind crushing me? Then how about I mind crush you back! (Mind crush the alien guy)(2) You get into a psychic battle with the leader of the aliens, and after several minutes of INTENSE psychic battling it starts to look like your going to lose against the slightly stronger alien.
(You mind-wrestling with the sniper = 2+1 For secret psionic booster) You and the sniper spend several minutes in an INTENSE psychic battle, and after a several minutes it starts to look like your going to beat the sniper.Oh? You're mind crushing me? Then how about I mind crush you back! (Mind crush the alien guy)Use my vauge space psychic powers to mind arm-wrestle the sniper back! Use my mecha's secret psionic boosters to assist this
Also army, keep on fighting!
Rename the Earth to Canada.(1) You attempt to rename the Earth, but your spell messes up and you accidentally rename Canada to Earth, the pumpkin zombies are confused by this and begin destroying the place that used to be their home.
Bring the FUNK(5) With the combined power of you, the FUNKY friends, the FUNKY creatures. and all those FUNKY items, you are able to bring the FUNK into the world and it quickly spreads allover causing FUNKY dancing to be come a common thing and it even changes the moon into a giant DISCO BALL.
SURF ON MY SWORD OUT OF THE PARKING LOT AND AWAY FROM THE ARENA DEMONS, AND DEFEND SELF IF NEEDED.(Surfing out of the lot = 5) You then give the sword another swift kick and send it flying across the parking lot with you riding on top of it, you now feel confident about your sword surfing skills.
Keep sleeping.You sleep, hoping the things that go bump in the night don't decide to bump into you while your still sleeping.
Everyone continue to defend the fief.(You defending = 6) You continue to run around with the enemy and kill loads of them, but you do get some damage while your out there.
With the help of my followers try to enlighten the pumpkin zombies.(You enlightening pumpkin zombies = 5) You quickly start talking of enlightenment and the pumpkin zombies listen and all join you.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(2) They sit around and drink beer.
Destroy everything the town.(1) They get melted by acid.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(1) They get beat up and called jobless losers.
The FUNKIVERSE isn’t Earth, she won’t kill us if we go there(3) You lead the others towards the portal to the FUNKIVERSE, but the path forward is blocked by several destroyed buildings.
run towards the FUNKIVERSE portal and jump inside
Use my godly powers to help me in the mind crushing!(4) You use your godly powers to aid in the MIND CRUSHING, but you feel that the aliens counter attack is being aided by something FUNKY, and that your both still evenly matched.
Use everything I have (every advisor, follower, ghosts, bit of knowledge, economy, candy power, radiation) to transform France into a stable, efficient, self sustainable global superpower.(France becoming stable and efficient = 6) Using all the knowledge, people, and things you've gathered you transform France into the most stable, efficient, and self sustaining version of France EVER!
Fire Elementals & Demonic Foliage: Keep massacring the pumpkin zombies.(Fire elemetnals killing pumpkin zombies = 4) They continue to burn the zombies as they come into range.
Make some acidic spore sacs and bombard the zombies with them.
I'm a tree now, so I just move my branches to the music.
Fell the FUNK in the air and use to destroy more of the pumpkin army while dancing.(Using the power of FUNK to aid you in destroying the pumpkin zombie army with dancing = 3+1 For FUNK) You use the power of FUNK to dance the FUNKIEST dance a Ultra-Mega-Zord has ever danced, you kill hundreds of thousands of zombies with your dance.
FUNKI animal army keeps defending the city.
I need more power to finally defeat my sniper rival...Yes, I can feel it in the air...THE COMBINED PSIONIC FUNK OF A PLANET! Let the groove guide me as I finally mind crush my sniper foe.(Using the power of FUNK to mindcrush the sniper = 3+1 For FUNK) Using the power of FUNK you continue trying to MIND CRUSH the sniper, but you feel that he has some kind of divine power aiding him, and that your both still evenly matched.
Army keep fighting!
Dress all the Pumpkin Warriors in hippy costumes.(How many costumes do you have = 4) You look around and discover that you have a whole bunch of hippy costumes for some reason.
Leave the FUNKIVERSE and see whats going on back on Earth.(4) After several minutes of walking your group finally makes it back to the entrance to the FUNKIVERSE and return to Earth, and find the town floating in space, armies of undead pumpkins running around, and a evil sorceress doing evil stuff.
KILL ALL THE DEMONS THAT ARE FOLLOWING ME WITH THE SWORD, THEN HEAL MY SELF.(Killing all the demons that are following you = 3) You only manage to kill some of the demons that were following you.
Keep sleeping.You sleep, and dream about waking up in a world without the apocalypse, but you know that isn't going to happen.
Everyone continue to defend the fief.(You defending = 5) You continue to cut down every creature that comes near you.
Continue to enlighten the pumpkin zombies.(You enlightening pumpkin zombies = 6) You have a whole lot of luck this time a round, and you get a whole bunch to join your group, but then some of the other hostile ones injure you somewhat.
Use necromancy to create an army of corpses, and summon some demons to fight for me!(Creating an army of corpses = 3) Even with all the corpses around she only gets a few of them to raise as zombies under her control.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(1) A whole bunch of them die when a building falls on them.
Destroy everything the town.(6) They run around and burn some stuff then burn to death.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(3) They get a few more to join them.
Start rebuilding the town by making 'eco-houses', made from dry mud and my own roots.(5) The rebuilding starts you and your followers build several eco-houses using natural and scavenged materials, and by the time your finished you have several nice looking new buildings.
Keep mind crushing the mecha guy, and while that happens drop a big rock that is filled with explosives on the pumpkin zombies(Mindcrushing = 3) You continue your psychic battle with the alien in the mecha, and both of you continue to be evenly matched.
Use telekinesis To lift us up and fly towards the portal(There were three and they all followed you.)
(How many people decided to follow me?)
Okay, that's great. Now invade the afterlife (once again using everything I have) and establish it as a French Pupper State.(Invading the afterlife = 4) You and your people invade the afterlife and take control of everything using everything in your arsenal.
Also, send a telepathic message to North America
"Cititzens of the devasted world, I'm your empereor, and I request total subjugation. Join me and together we will unite Terra! Otherwise, accept your absolute demise!"
Use propaganda for convincing people how good it would be to join my regime
Lead all in understanding their new funkified selves.(5) You walk around the town Telling everyone about their FUNKIFIED selves, you gather a small following of random people you met as you walked.
Unleash Finishing attack killing as much of the army as possible(Unleashing a finishing attack = 4) Your Ultra-Mega-Zord does a bunch of well choreographed moves and unleashes a massive wave of energy that disintegrates everything in its path, killing millions of the zombies.
Animal army keeps defending the city
Continue to try to mindcrush the sniper, while the other mecha gets repaired again.(Mind crushing = 3) You continue to mind battle the sniper, but no matter what you try he is able to counter it and you both seem to be evenly matched still.
Get more of the pumpkin zombies to put on hippie costumes.(3) You wander around offering the costumes to the pumpkin zombies, but you only get a few takers, which immediately go off to join the commune.
STEAL BEER FROM THE TAILGATE AND USE IT TO HEAL MYSELF, THEN FINISH OFF THE DEMONS THAT WERE FOLLOWING ME.(Stealing beer = 4) You quickly grab a beer from a cooler while the owner wasn't looking.
Keep sleeping.You continue to sleep and you feel that the dangers of the waking world have lessened somewhat, at least in your area.
Everyone continue to defend the fief, and I will use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 5) Using your holy magics you kill thousands of the creatures that threaten your fief.
Continue to enlighten the pumpkin zombies.(You enlightening pumpkin zombies = 3) You only manage to enlighten a few more this time around.
"The town is going to become hostile to me soon, I'd better get out while I can."(4) You quickly use your magic to open a portal to Earth, then you and your creatures quickly run through it and you shut it behind you, you now find yourself in a abandoned gas station in the middle of nowhere.
Create a portal back to Earth, then go though it and bring my followers with me.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(4) They knock over some watchtowers.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(5) They get dozens to join the commune.
(So the FUNKIVERSE is filled with dancing everything?)(I'm hoping WyrdByrd can tell us otherwise I'm gonna have to guess and make up some stuff.)
(So the FUNKIVERSE is filled with dancing everything?)(4) You and your people wonder around for a long time before you guys finally find a town, and its filled with the FUNKIEST people you've ever seen and they seem to be going about their FUNKY lives.
Look around to find out if we are near a town or not
Turn the pamphlet into an origami crane and send it to find the Emporer, then put a tracking spell on it.(Making origami crane and putting a tracking spell on it = 5) It takes a little bit to fold the pamphlet into a crane, then you put a tracking spell on it.
Three cheers for solving problems with old and obscure rules
Keep up the mind crushing and teleport a small rock into who ever is trying to mind crush me(Continuing the mind crushing = 3 No bonus do to noise) You continue to try to mind crush the alien, but its hard to concentrate do to all the noise coming from the aliens camp, then suddenly you feel your mind being crushed as the alien begins to get the upper hand and your not sure how much crushing your mind can take.
"HEY, CHEERS! 'SGARN ON?"(Leaning on the sword and greeting partiers = 4) You lean on your sword and greet all the partiers that pass by you, they seem friendly and don't attack you.
LEAN ON MY SWORD AND GREET PARTYGOERS WITH TRADITIONAL AUSTRALIANISM
TRY AND WEASEL MY WAY INTO ANOTHER BEER
ALSO WORK OUT WHY IS TAILGATE PARTY IN HELL... THESE PEOPLE DEMONS OR WHAT?
Keep making eco-houses and rebuilding the town.(Building eco-houses = 4) The Eco houses continue to be built, filling in the places of the destroyed buildings.
Kill every human that remains in the town.
Concentrate in protecting the city.(Protecting the city = 3+2 For Ultra-Mega-Zord) You use a combination of special moves to decimate all zombies that dare get near your city.
Animal Army will Improve the city so it can be safely transformed into a space-city. I think is time we abandon the planet.
AGH! This god guy truly is a tough match. In order to beat him, I must add to the fu-...Oh yeah, our national anthem!(Blasting the Spacenoid national anthem at full blast = 6) You start playing your peoples national anthem so loud that everyone nearby quickly covers their ears to keep themselves from going deaf.
Use my mecha's speakers to blast the Spacenoid national anthem at full force!:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWAS2MvuLqY
Now, other mecha will return to fight!
Continue to improve France.(4) You and all your people continue to improve France, and you make France great again!
Continue to enlighten people in the ways of FUNK.(6) You try to enlighten people but suddenly all the fire guys and plant creatures start killing everyone, then there's this loud ass noise coming from somewhere in the town, you don't manage to get any people this time around and there might not be any people left to get soon.
Keep sleeping.You keep sleeping, having a feeling that the situation outside got worse again.
There isn't time to mess with pamphlets, everyone continue to defend the fief, and I will use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 3+1 For candy power) Using your holy powers you burn away loads of the undead that threaten your fief.
No time to worry about papers when there are zombies to enlighten.(You enlightening pumpkin zombies = 3) You only manage to enlighten a few more of them.
Ignore the pamphlet and use magic to turn the gas station into a proper fortress, then summon more demons.(Turning the gas station into a fortress = 5) Using your powers you turn the gas station into a proper fortress with high walls, towers, and a moat.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(4) They blow up some cars.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(5) They manage to get loads to join the commune.
((AM I CRAZY, OR IS WYRDBYRD DOING "TOEJAM AND EARL"?))What is toejam and earl?
((AM I CRAZY, OR IS WYRDBYRD DOING "TOEJAM AND EARL"?))
SIT DOWN AND WATCH THE SHOW WITH MY NEW FRIENDS(Watching the show = 6) You're offered a chair which you take and start watching the match, and its an incredibly brutal match with blood and guts everywhere.
SIP BEER AND TRY DECIDE ON INTERESTING, UNDERDOG COMPETITOR TO BARRACK FOR
Try to find the leader of the town, if successful, ask if they know any magic and would be willing to teach me and the other humans(Finding the leader of the town = 4) It takes a bit of searching you finally find the towns mayor, he's sitting in is office doing paperwork when your and your group arrive.
Keep defending the city.(Defending the city = 3+2 For Ultra-Mega-Zord) You continue to use your zord powers to destroy massive swaths of the incoming hoards keeping them away from the city.
Animal army finishes the city preparations.
Drop another big boom rock on the alien camp, keep pushing in the mind crush battle.(Finding another big rock = 4) You again use your magic to summon another big ass rock.
Spawn more Demonic Foliage and keep rebuilding the town into my image.(Spawning more demonic foliage = 3) You only manage to make a few more of the demonic foliage.
Wake up and look out the window.(4) You crawl out of your opossum pile and crawl up to the window and look around, you see that the pumpkin zombies are dead and there are several dead humans laying around, you also see several flaming guys and plant creatures rebuilding some of the destroyed buildings around, you also see that your in space.
Attempt to summon the motherships, of P-Funk fame.(6) You spend a few minutes of dancing the FUNKY dance that should summon the P-Funk Mothership, but you seem to have summoned the wrong ship and after looking at it for a bit you realize its an alien spacecraft of some kind and after waiting a bit you guess its ether not hostile or it hasn't seen you and that it seems to have been around for town for awhile, you think your FUNKY dancing might have removed its cloaking or something.
While I wait for the crane to find the Emporer, craft the perfect "Totally Average Human" TM outfit.(Crane getting to the Emperor = 3) According to your tracking spell the crane is still flying over the ocean, it seems to be heading towards Europe.
Push father! Mind crush my enemy once and for all!(Mind crushing the sniper = 5) You continue to crush the mind of the sniper, and so far you seem to be winning this battle.
Army keeps doing its thing! Including calling for reinforcements.
Use my connections to start taking over Europe.(1+2 For all that stuff you have) You have your people start getting ready to takeover the rest of Europe, but you don't get much further than planing the take over.
Everyone continue to defend the fief, and I will use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 6) You again use your holy magic to kill off dozens of the creatures, but you accidentally damage the fief in the process.
Keep enlightening the pumpkin zombies.(You enlightening pumpkin zombies = 5) You manage to enlighten even more of them.
Have the demons and zombies attack the pumpkin zombies, and while that's happening I summon more demons.(Demons attacking = 3) The demons only kill a few of the attacking creatures.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(6) They all blow up a gas station and die.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(2) They sit around in a drum circle and smoke some weed.
Go buy some breakfast.With Milk
+1Go buy some breakfast.With Milk
Thank the mayor and leave town in search of someone who knows magic, search for towers, wizards have towers right?(6) You thank the mayor and head out of town, and after quite a bit of searching you finally see what looks like a tower in the distance, but its going to a long journey to get there.
(4+1 For help) You quickly go about your normal routine, where Angelo & Diablo shows up and gives you a slap to the head, and you start making breakfast with help from Angelo & Diablo, using some stuff you had sitting around and the last of your powdered milk, and by the time its finished it looks like the best breakfast you've had in a long time, with milk.+1Go buy some breakfast.With Milk
I shall not be beaten! Teleport near the mecha alien guy and throw a big ass rock at him. Also continue to defend myself from mind crushes(Teleporting near the mecha alien guy = 5) You quickly teleport next to the alien's mecha.
Okay, let's finish rebuilding the town, then figure out how to move to a different star system.(Finishing the rebuilding = 5) It doesn't take that long to finish the rebuilding, they even manage to fix the damage caused by the mecha being thrown into a building.
Send my disciples to form a FUNKY Church, then attempt to make contact with the aliens.(Disciples founding a FUNKY church = 3+1 For empty buildings) It doesn't take long for them to find the perfect building to make into the FUNKY church.
"HELL YEAH! AWESOME! WHO IS THAT LITTLE GUY, GUYS?!"(Applauding = 3) You applaud as best as you can with a beer in one hand.
APPLAUD MY NEW FAVOURITE'S GORY COMBAT EFFICIENCY
ASK NEW FRIENDS IF THEY KNOW WHO/WHAT IT IS
OH, AND AS ALWAYS, DRINK BEER
keep defending the city.(Defending the city = 3+2 For Ultra-Mega-Zord) You again use the zord's special ultra move to blow up massive amounts of the hoard of pumpkin zombies.
Animal army installs the new inventions.
...Right, we're in space. First, keep up my psionic battle against the sniper. Maybe even become a god somehow?(Continuing mind crushing the sniper = 1) Before you can even try to defend yourself the sniper appears next to you and you get hit with a big ass rock and thrown into a building which damages your mecha, then suddenly your mind starts getting crushed.
Meanwhile, troops begin perpetration to just...Transfer forces back onto land. Along with turning this town into a massive space-fortress. Gotta secure our hold on the planet somehow.
Help Enemy post make breakfast.(6-1 For powers of some kind) As tradition you slap Enemy Post lightly upside the head, then you help him make breakfast, with milk this time.
Enact the plan to takeover the rest of Europe.(5) Using all the things in your inventory you quickly take over the rest of Europe, and in doing so gain even more followers.
Everyone keep defending the fief, and I will keep using my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 5) Using your holy magic you burn all zombies that get near you.
Everyone keep enlightening the pumpkin zombies.(You enlightening pumpkin zombies = 2) You sit and meditate for a bit instead of enlightening more zombies.
I will be creating more zombies and summon more demons, while the demons and zombies attack the pumpkin zombies.(Making more zombies = 4) You use your powers to make even more zombies.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(4) They burn down some house.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(4) They get a bunch to join.
continue towards the tower(6) After what feels like hours you finally arrive a the base of the tower, then suddenly the door opens and dozens of Disco Zombies rush out to attack your group, looks like you've found an Evil Disco Wizard's tower.
Infect some of the alien specimen with mind-control spores, so that they'll obediently become recipients of vivisection.(Using mind-control spores on some of the aliens = 5) You quickly create some mind-control spores and sprinkle them over an alien infantry platoon.
Try to gain some knowledge about the aliens from the vivisection: What are their weak spots? How many hearts do they have? How advanced their race is?
Protect city during lit-off(Protecting the city = 4+1 For Ultra-Mega-Zord) You unleash a devastating power attack on all pumpkin zombies that come anywhere near the city burning all of them to dust, and ensuring the city lifts off with out having to worry about being attacked.
Animal army starts the engines and takes the city to space.
Eat my perfect breakfast.(5) You eat your prefect breakfast and its tastes like the best thing you've ever had, or at least sense the world ended.
spawn a rpg and blow up the mecha, and keep defending from mind crushes(Spawning a RPG = 2) Try as you might you can't seem to summon a RPG.
"WAIT, SO WHAT'S THE ENDGAME FOR THIS THING ANYWAY?"(Figuring out how the sport works = 4) After watching for a bit you realize that its a free for all with everyone getting thrown in all at the same time to battle to the death.
TRY TO FIGURE OUT JUST HOW THE 'SPORT' WE'RE WATCHING WORKS. ARE THERE ANY WINNERS, OR DOES THE CARNAGE JUST CONTINUE INDEFINITELY? WHY PEOPLE COMPETE IF THEY SO LIKELY TO DIE? ARE THE COMPETITORS FORCED TO FIGHT AGAINST THEIR WILL, OR IS IT FOR FUN OR WHAT?
ALSO TAKE CONTEMPLATIVE SIP OF BEER
Spread the word of FUNKY Church, and attempt to supplant all other churches in the area(Spreading the word of the FUNKY Church = 5) You run around and tell all the flaming guys and plant creatures about the FUNKY Church and they decide to join it.
Get my mecha back to base for repairs and continue to defend myself from mindcrushing, while some of the troops go to the planet and establish a base.(Getting the mceha back to base and repaired = 5) You quickly get the mecha back to base, where its repaired in record time.
Give out the last of the hippy costumes to the pumpkin zombies.(6) You go out into the middle of one of the main groups of pumpkin zombies and yell free clothing, then suddenly you get swarmed and beat up as they take all the hippy costumes.
Befriend all the radiation in Europe, then bring Europe back into the modern age.(Befriending the radiation = 5) You quickly travel around the ruins of Europe befriending all the radiation.
Everyone keep defending the fief, and I will keep using my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 4) You burn hundreds with your holy magics.
Everyone keep enlightening the pumpkin zombies, and some people stay behind to repair the monastery.(You enlightening pumpkin zombies = 5) You manage to gather even more followers.
Have the zombies and demons continue to kill while I cast some harmful spells on the zombie pumpkins from my fortress.(Demons attacking = 3) They only kill a few in their rampage.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(5) They burn a bunch of stuff.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(4) They get some people to join.
Cause a schism in the FUNKY Church by making my own version of the Holy FUNK Book.(Making your own version of the Holy FUNK book = 5) It takes a long time to write your book, and when you finish it you spread it throughout the church.
My version of HFB says that I am the second prophet of FUNK.
Once the schism is successful, mind-control and interrogate some of the aliens as to how we can infiltrate their spaceships.
Use telekinesis to make the ground the zombies are standing on float, bringing the zombies into the air and making a hole that other zombies will have to crawl through. When the zombies are very high in the air, stop using telekinesis, causing the ground and the zombies to fall onto the hopefully squishing them onto the ground, possibly smashing other zombies into the hole(Lifting the ground with DISCO zombies on it = 2+2 For telekinesis) Using your telekinetic powers you rip up a large piece of earth with several DISCO zombies on it out of the ground.
(If part of this is confusing tell me and I will make an animation of what this is)
Fly to Space-City.(Flying to the space-city = 3=1 For Ultra-Mega-Zord) Using the Ultra-Mega-Zord you fly into space and after a short flight you land in the space city.
Animal Army makes preparations to add a space-pirates-port to the space city.
We will need resources some times and space-piracy is how we will get them
Have an epiphany after my perfect breakfast, and resolve to do something more with my postapocalyptic life than work in an office and sleep under a pile of dead possums. Go out and take a walk around the city.(Having an epiphany = 4) After a few minutes of of thought while staring at a wall you have an EPIPHANY and realize some stuff!
Teleport to the Mecha guy and drop the most amount of tnt I could summon while I try to shield myself and continue defending from mind crushes(Teleporting next to the mecha guy = 3+1 For still being in the alien's camp) Instead of teleporting you walk over to where the mecha is.
(I hope this isn't too much actions?)
WAIT FOR A COMMERCIAL THEN GO BUY SOME SNACKS, AND ROLL A JOINT AND SMOKE IT.(Waiting for a commercial = 6) Right as you start wondering about where to get snacks some commercials come on giving you time to go get stuff.
Add some FUNKY decorations to the church to show its the FUNKIEST religion.(5) You fill the church with the FUNKIEST items you could find.
Keep defending myself from mind-crushing, and the troops continue to expand the base on the planet.(Defending against mind-crushing = 6) You continue to crush the snipers mind, but you also harm you own mind, and you feel that your mind is nearing the breaking point.
Do some magic stuff to kill the pumpkin zombies.(5) Using your magical powers you destroy dozens of the zombies.
Try to establish a line of communication between Europe and North America.(3) You only manage to get the comms set up on your side.
Everybody keep defending the fief from the pumpkin zombies, and I will continue to use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 5) You continue to burn all zombies that get near the fief.
Everyone keep enlightening the pumpkin zombies, and actually repair the monastery.(You enlightening pumpkin zombies = 3) You only manage to get a few more interested in joining.
Have the zombies and demons keep killing while I cast some more harmful spells on the zombie pumpkins.(Demons attacking = 6) They kill everything in their path by throwing it, sometimes the thrown things hit the fortress damaging it.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(3) They break a few bottles.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(4) They manage to get a large group to join them.
Plan B, bombard alien spaceships with acidic sacs, making holes in the hull.(Bombarding alien ship with acidic sacs = 5) You quickly begin throwing your acidic sacs at the alien mothership.
Make several "transport" sacs to bombard the spaceships with, so that the creatures inside enter the ships through the holes.
One transport sac can hold 10 Demonic Foliage.
Try once again to take a walk around the city.(5) You finally leave your house and wander around the town and watch the lasers rain from the sky and destroy several building, but other than that the walk was uneventful other than the fact that there aren't any humans around just a bunch of flaming guys and plant creatures.
Make TNT go boom boom and use godly bs powers to magically restore my mind(TNT going boom = 4) You immediately detonate the TNT which blows one of the mecha's legs off and badly damages the other.
Everyone goes to build the space-pirate ships(Building space-pirate ships = 6) They start building but during the construction some crucial parts get damaged and they don't get it repaired in time.
Alright the coast is clear, probably Head inside the tower and look for the wizard(5) Your group quickly runs into the tower, where you find lots of books and other magical stuff, then suddenly you hear someone coming down the stairs and you see the DISCO WIZARD he demands to know why you killed his DISCO zombies and broke into his house.
Have a talk with the tree, then put it to the FUNKY test.(Talking to the tree = 1) You try to get to the tree but a house next to you explodes and you get trapped under some rubble.
I LIKE HOW CABL BANISHED ME TO DEMON BLOODSPORTS DIMENSION BUT IS ACTUALLY P. MUCH PARADISE(Getting back to the party = 4) It doesn't take long to get back to your where the party is.
ALSO IS A RELIEF THAT GLADIATOR DEMONS DOING SO VOLUNTARILY. CONSCIENCE DODGED BULLET THERE
WALK BACK TO PARTY, PASS JOINT AROUND MY NEW FRIENDS IF THEY WISH TO PARTAKE
THEN CONTINUE SMOKING AND DRINKING AND SEE IF THE COMMERCIAL'S OVER YET. OTHERWISE, WATCH WHATEVER STRANGE HELL COMMERCIALS THEY HAVE IN THIS REALM
Have the troops continue to expand the planet side base, and try to repair the damage done to my mind and kick that create away.(Troops expanding the planet side base = 5) Your troops continue to expand the base, and now its a medium sizes fortress.
Keep aiding in the fight by killing the pumpkin zombies.(2+2 For magical powers) Using your powerful magics you destroy large amounts if the incoming pumpkin zombie hoard.
Continue to try to establish communications with North America.(3) Turns out reestablishing long distance comms is incredibly hard and your only manage to get a big radio tower built.
Everybody keep defending the fief from the pumpkin zombies, and I will continue to use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 6) While you kill loads of the creatures you also accidentally damage the fief.
Everyone keep enlightening the pumpkin zombies, and actually repair the monastery.(You enlightening pumpkin zombies = 3) You only manage to get a few to join.
The zombies and demons keep killing while I use some spells to make the zombie pumpkins explode.(Demons attacking = 6) They damage the fortress as they run out to kill loads of the pumpkin zombies.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(1) They all fall into space and die.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(2) They just sit around the fire and smoke some pot.
Have a talk with the tree, then put it to the FUNKY test.
“I killed your zombies because they were hostile. I came to you to learn magic. Please teach me. Maybe since their bodies are in dirt, you could make a disco dirt golem with the pieces? If they hadn’t attacked I wouldn’t have had to hurt them. Maybe I can help you make more to replenish the ones I killed/ I wish to be your apprentice” After saying this to the wizard, ask the other humans if they also want to learn magic(How does the DISCO WIZARD react to your words = 5) He seems to take it way better than you thought he would, as he doesn't immediately kill you.
Start repairing the ship with my roots and other plants.(Repairing the ship with roots = 4) You throw some roots at the ship that somehow fix all the holes you created earlier, making the ship as good as new.
Once the ship is repaired, take the control of the ship, then the ship shall drag me into a different star system.Have a talk with the tree, then put it to the FUNKY test.
"Well yes, the original prophet of FUNK. You're not worthy of leading your own church anymore, you sack of meat! Leave the town, or I'll make sure you'll regret that."
Start searching for ships to pillage and somewhere to trade like the space pirates we are(Searching for ships to pillage = 3) After several minutes of searching you don't really find anything besides a town that's also in space that's being actively attacked by a larger space ship.
Keep repairing my mind, and then make one of my fist as powerful it can be and punch the center of the mecha(Continuing to fix your mind = 4) You fix even more of your mind using your powers.
Watch the laser show.(5) You watch the skies as more lasers fall down destroying several more houses and killing several of the creatures that were wondering around, if it wasn't for the chance of dying you'd enjoy the spectacle even more.
"Does FUNK have to have a leader? As you can see from the world around you, FUNK is FUNK."(Saying your thing = 4) You say your thing at the tree.
...shit, I missed three? Ok, let me just get back up to date and I'll post.(4+1 For me forgetting about it) According to your tracking spell the crane arrived in the Emperor's office just now.
Did my origami find the Emporer?
OOPS(Rolling a new joint = 2) You dig around and find that you used up the last of your weed in the last joint.
ROLL A NEW JOINT, THEN.
IF AM OUT OF WEED ASK OTHER PARTYGOERS IF HAVE ANY HECTIC HELL-WEED TO CONTRIBUTE
EITHER WAY, POP OPEN A BAG OF SNACKS AND CONTINUE WATCHING THE MAYHEM
Get out of the damaged mecha and run to the safety of my troops, while the other mecha attacks the sniper, and the tank starts attacking whatever's attacking our mothership.(Getting out of the mecha = 4) You quickly get out of the damaged mecha.
Try again to get a comms system between Europe and North America, while my people start looking into takingover Africa.(Getting comms set up = 4) Your people finally get the comms set up and you can now talk with some of your followers in North America.
Keep defending the fief from the pumpkin zombies, and I will continue to use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 3) You only manage to kill a few of them with your magic.
We need to add more rooms to the monastery so we can house all the enlightened.(You adding on to the monastery = 5) They add more rooms to the monastery.
"Damn zombies are useless."(Sacrificing the zombies to summon more demons = 5) You quickly gather all the zombies together and sacrifice them to summon more demons.
Sacrifice all the zombies to summon more demons, and the demons will continue to attack the pumpkin zombies.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(4) They eat a bunch of babies and stuff.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(6) They damage some stuff bringing all the new people in.
Start the training. Give him some food and water. Explain that the world I came from doesn’t have much in the way of money due to a nearly world ending event. Offer to work for him as well as train due to not currently having money(Paying for training with food and water = 5) He excepts the food and water as payment for the teaching, as it saves him the time it would take him to get these items.
into the zord is time to attack and pillage the spaceship.(You attacking and looting the spaceship = 5) You quickly fly over to the town in the Ultra-Mega-Zord and begin lasering and tearing at the ship after several minutes of this you manage to pull one of the big lasers off of it.
Space Pirates Animals pillage the space-town that is being invaded.
Find some cover to watch the spectacle more safely.(5) You quickly run and take cover in an older building and watch as more lasers come down, then you see a giant robot start attacking the big ship, and a little ship land and loads of animals come out and kill a bunch of the creatures that were wondering around then start looting and burning buildings, you see that they haven't got near or noticed your building yet.
Screw this. TRANSCEND AND ESCAPE THE MORTAL PLANE TO BECOME AN ACTUAL GOD(Transcending = 3+1 For god power) You use your god powers to transcend and become a higher powered god than you were before.
Become one with the FUNK.(4) You quickly begin dancing the FUNKIEST dance ever danced, and after several minutes of dancing you begin to become a blur and eventually you feel yourself become one with the FUNK leaving your body behind and become a creature of PURE FUNK!
Finish the FUNKY schism. From now on, followers of me are called Funkists, while followers of the OG prophet are called FUNKODOXES.(Finishing the FUNKY schism = 5) You quickly finish up the schism.
Retaliate against the aliens by bombarding and boarding their spaceships.
If the retaliation is successful, proceed to try to refit and gain control over their spaceships again.
LIGHT THE HELL-JOINT(Pondering the effects of the Hell-weed = 3) You take a second to ponder the hell-weed, and the only thing you can figure out just by looking at it is that you'll get high if you smoke it.
BRIEFLY PONDER WHAT EFFECT ITS CONTENTS MIGHT HAVE ON A MERE MORTAL
THEN SHRUG AND HAVE A TOKE OR TWO ANYWAY, BEFORE PASSING IT ON OF COURSE
Use some more magic to kill off some more of the pumpkin zombies.(6) You use your powers to kill huge amounts of the pumpkin zombies, but you take some damage from falling rocks.
Have the other mecha drag my broken mecha to the repair equipment and begin repairing it, the tank added by other mecha will look for the thing attacking the mothership.(Getting damaged mecha to repair stuff = 3+1 For mecha) The other mecha drags your damaged mecha over to the repair equipment.
Start taking over Africa according to the plan, then contact my followers in North American and have them start taking over.(Taking over Africa = 4) You quickly take over Africa, and gain a lot of followers.
Everyone keep defending the fief from the pumpkin zombies, and I will continue to use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 3+1 For lots of candy) You use your magic to kill dozens of the creatures.
Go back to enlightening the pumpkin zombies.(You enlightening = 3) You only manage to enlighten a few of them.
Go back to throwing explosive spells, while the demons will continue to attack the pumpkin zombies.(Casting explosive spells = 3) The explosions only kill a few of them.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(1) They all die in a fire.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(2) They take a few hits off the bong.
keep attacking the spaceship try to leave important parts intact for future looting.(Continuing to attack the spaceship = 3+1 For the Zord) You continue to tear at the ship's hull, throwing bits the removed bits everywhere.
Animal army keeps looting the city.
Sorry(5) Using your powers you teleport to where the crane is, which happens to be the Emperors office, him and his ghosts seem very surprised to see you.
Find the Emperor.
Make some artwork of the spectacle.(Finding art supplies = 6) Turns out your hiding in a art store, so you have as many art supplies as could want.
Start cleaning and organizing, if I get done, read one of the books(Cleaning = 6) You start moping then you knock over the mop bucket and spill water all over.
Make an army of cats (with extra sharp claws!) and tell them to wreck havoc to the aliens(Making an army of cats = 5) You make over a five hundred cats with extra sharp claws.
Boarding teams: Takeover the alien spaceships(Boarding teams taking over the ship = 4) After much fighting they manage to get to the bridge of the ship.
Produce more Demonic Foliage.
Use telepathy to convert animal space pirate army to Funkist faith. Have them return back to their base and do Funkist sermons.
Ground troops: Fight the aliens and the animal looter army, should the latter resist the conversion.
Grapple the alien tank with my roots and throw it at an alien spaceship.
"OH... OH SHIT."(Using the Call Nurse button = 3) It takes a minute to find it and push it, then you sit there for several minutes waiting and no one ever shows up.
REACH DOWN, ASSUMING AM IN HOSPITAL BED, TRY AND FIND 'CALL NURSE' BUTTON TO PRESS
LISTEN CAREFULLY, INSPECT SURROUNDINGS
ALSO CHECK INVENTORY - I STILL HAVE MY STUFF, OR WEARING HOSPITAL GOWN, OR WHAT?
Use my oneness with the FUNK to convince the flaming guys and plant creatures to join my side of the FUNKY Church.(Getting the flaming guys to join your church = 2) No matter how many you ask none of them are willing to listen to you.
Have the tank continue to attack the tree, and the other mecha go to where the tank is, the APC will go to and attack the tree as well, while I stay with the infantry squad while they defend the base, while I use the radio to try and get some reinforcements of some kind.(Tank attacking the tree = 4) Your tank manages to blow off some of the trees branches right before the tree grabs it and smashes it into the ground after dropping it on itself.
Use my connections to return Africa to how it was before the world ended, then have my followers in North America find a ship and sail over to Europe so they can be safe from the creatures that are threatening them.(Restoring Africa to its prewar state = 3+1 For your connections) After much work they restore Africa to its prime.
Keep defending the fief from the pumpkin zombies, while I will continue to use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 4) Using your magical powers yet again you kill even more of the things.
Keep enlightening the pumpkin zombies.(You enlightening = 3) You only get a few to join.
Keep throwing explosive spells, while the demons will continue to attack the pumpkin zombies.(Casting explosive spells = 2+2 For magicalness) You blow up dozens of them with your spells.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(2) They spin some bottles.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(5) They get a whole bunch of new people to join.
Wait which player is the emperor?Elvis the Ghost Summoner
Wait which player is the emperor?Kakaluncha, he hasn't posted in nine turns.
Direct my cats to the alien camp and order them to attack any aliens but not humans(Cats getting to the alien camp = 6) It takes quite awhile to herd all those cats towards the aliens base, but you get there eventually.
Take a few more minutes to watch the fighting before I move on.(3) You spend several minutes watching the action trying to look away but you can't for several more minutes, I mean how could you look away when a herd of cats just killed a bunch of armed soldiers, but evenly you grow tired of the spectacle and get ready to leave.
Attempt to use my Oneness with the FUNK to hyperevolve life on earth into a more FUNKY state.(6) Using your oneness with the FUNK you take the Earths FUNK and amplify it so you can HYPEREVOLVE all life on it, and all the animals evolve to be bigger, stronger, and FUNKIER than they were before, but they also seem to hate all human and pumpkin zombie life and wish to destroy it.
Destroy as much of the spaceship as possible make it impossible for it to follow us.(Destroying the spaceship in a way that makes it unable to follow = 2+2 For zord) You quickly fly the Ultra-Mega-Zord to the back of the ship and start smashing and tearing at the ship's engines, severely damaging them.
Space-Pirates Animals retreat with the loot
Clean the water that I spilled, then continue organizing. Use telekinesis where helpful(Cleaning the water = 6) You spend a bit cleaning all the water up, then you accidentally spill it again.
Destroy the APC and the alien troops that attack me with my roots and creatures.(Destroying the APC = 5) You quickly rap your roots around the unmanned APC and crush it.
Bombard the alien ships again.
Try to convert the retreating animal looters to Funkist faith again.
Put the totally normal human costume on the emperor.(Putting the totally normal human costume on the emperor = 5) You grab him and strip off his clothing and force him to wear the costume.
GO PEEK THROUGH THE WINDOW, WITHOUT OPENING THE BLINDS FULLY(6) You crawl out of the bed and peek out the window, and you see several hundred strange and hostile looking creatures wandering around the abandoned looking streets outside the hospital, lucky for you they don't seem to have seen you yet.
Everyone attack the creatures and the tree.(Other mecha attacking the tree = 6) It manages to get off a shot on the tree, then gets tangled by roots and severely damaged.
Improve the lives of the people in the areas I control, and find out why that guy showed up in my office.(Improving the lives of people in Europe = 2) You can't improve the Europeans lives and you use all the stuff that was for them improving Africa.
Continue to defend the fief from the pumpkin zombies, while I continue to use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 3+1 For candy) You kill a whole bunch of them.
Continue the enlightening of the pumpkin zombies.(You enlightening = 5) You enlighten a whole bunch of them.
Continue to throw explosive spells, while the demons will continue to attack the pumpkin zombies.(Casting explosive spells = 1+3 For magic) You blow up a whole bunch of them.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(5) They destroy a bunch of stuff.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(5) They get a whole bunch to join.
Kill all humans and pumpkin zombies.(North America = 5) They slaughter a whole bunch of the pumpkin zombies.
The “Totally normal human costume” was supposed to shit down his powers, turning him into a normal human
(Being a totally normal human doesn't mean he can't be The Emperor of Mankind, but I guess it does kill his telepathic and telekinetic powers.)The “Totally normal human costume” was supposed to shit down his powers, turning him into a normal human
Silly Smoke Mirrors! The Emperor of Mankind isn't just a costume! It's a title! *Cue evil laugh* Your attempted heresy has failed!
Me and the space-pirates animals return to space city.(You returning to the space city = 4) It doesn't take long for you to fly the Ultra-Mega-Zord back to the space city.
Now that things are clean, ask about the first lesson while trying to find a spellbook to read(Asking about the lesson = 4) He tells you that he's ready to teach you when your ready to learn.
Keep having cats attack while I find candy around here(Cats attacking the aliens = 4) They surround and kill the rest of the infantry squad.
Go clean up my house and remove the heap of dead possums.(Cleaning the house = 2) You would clean your house but you decided to watch the cats kill the rest of that infantry squad instead.
Further FUNK up the ecosystem to help accomodate its new additions. Then, withdraw to the FUNKYVERSE.(FUNKING up the ecosystem = 3+1 For being one with the FUNK) Using your FUNKY powers you FUNK up the ecosystem to allow it accommodate the the newly evolved animals.
QUICKLY DUCK DOWN, AWAY FROM WINDOW(Getting a blunt hospital item = 4) You sling the shotgun over your shoulder and grab the IV stand from the corner.
ARM SELF WITH CONVENIENT BLUNT, HOSPITAL-RELATED OBJECT WHAT MIGHT BE EASY TO SWING IN NARROW SPACES
THEN HEAD TO DOOR AND LISTEN
Warp away.(5)You quickly teleport away from the Emperor of Mankind, you now find yourself in an abandoned building of some kind.
Began a purge against these rebel animals, enslaving them, and use telepathy to destroy this individual's mind.(Purging the animals in France = 4) You send out several squads to kill off the hostile animal.
Also, ask for reports of the current state of my empire and the world.
Meanwhile, send my ghosts to recruit armies in the afterlife.
Continue to battle!(Other mecha attacking the tree = 1) It tries to continue to fight but the roots constrict it even more and eventually the mecha is destroyed and the pilot killed.
Well, shit. Direct and collide the town with the alien mothership in a final suicide attack.(Fire elementals turning into a giant fireball and hitting the mothership = 6) All of your fire elementals gather together into a giant fire ball and launch themselves in to the alien mothership, the impact is massive destroying a large chunk of the ship.
Fire elementals: Form into one giant fireball and fly towards the mothership.
Demonic Foliage: Turn into one big sprawl of vines and entangle the mothership, so it can't dodge the final attacks.
Keep defending the fief from the pumpkin zombies, while I continue to use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 4) You continue to use your magic to kill.
Keep up the enlightening of the pumpkin zombies.(You enlightening = 4) You manage to gather even more followers.
Keep throwing explosive spells, while the demons will continue to attack the pumpkin zombies.(Casting explosive spells = 2+2 For magic) You continue to cast spells on the creatures and they continue to die.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(6) They burn a bunch of stuff then die.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(3) They only get a handful of new followers.
Kill all humans and pumpkin zombies.(North America = 5) They kill and destroy loads of the creatures.
Do the lesson(4) Over the next few minutes you learn the basics of FUNKY magic, but you still have a ways to go before you become a full fledged DISCO WIZARD.
Thrash around and panic until I land somewhere.(5) You flop and thrash around for what seems like hours before you grab on to a giant robot that shows up to gather the scrap that's floating around.
Have me and all my cats colonize the moon(You colonizing the moon = 3) You wander around the surface of the
Go to the debris of the space-town and spaceship to salvage as much as possible(You salvaging the debris = 6) As your gathering loads of random salvage your Ultra-Mega-Zord gets damaged by some bits of debris.
Space Pirates animals go to help with the salvaging
Organize an exodus of survivors to the FUNKYverse, then began to build a Magical Realm.(Organizing the exodus = 2) You would organize an exodus but you can't find any survivors in your area as they all seem to be dead.
FUNK around in the FUNKIverse, and attempt to dissolve the FUNKY church, as there’s no need to pursue true FUNK when FUNK is all around us.(FUNKING around the FUNKIVERSE = 6) You start dancing your FUNKY dance around the FUNKIVERSE and after a bit you find your self lost.
Respawn as the newly reborn second prophet of FUNK in the FUNKiverse.You respawn as the newly reborn second prophet of FUNK, you find yourself in a random town in the FUNKIVERSE.
Jump start the Funkist movement again, spreading the news that I've saved both the normal and the FUNKiverse from alien invaders, and now I was reborn, proving that I'm The True and The One with the FUNK.
Okay, start meditating until I develop psychic powers.(Meditating until you develop psychic powers = 2) You meditate for a little bit, but you get distracted by all the other things going on with your empire.
Meanwhile, send several ships to recover my followers on the Mediterranium. At the same time, send my armies to crush the animal rebellion in Africa, while sending my followers to rebuild the Middle East.
Began breeding the mutant animals, and indoctrinate the children into absolute loyalty.
At last, start research in the Afterlife, in order to discover how to bring back to life the dead.
Dammit, the mothership got blown up! Damn you maniacs, you blew it all to hell! Well, at least it isn't our only presence here. Fly back to the L4(Lagrange point) space colonies to report the status of our Earth Expedition.(Flying back to L4 space colonies = 5) It takes a bit for you to fly the ship back to your base at L4.
Hopefully I don't get court martial'd. Or even sent back with a bigger army.
Stealthily figure out where I am.(2) You knock over a shelf of caned goods luckily for no one is around to notice you, after recovering from that you see that your in some kind of super market.
ATTEMPT TO TRAP MONSTER AGAINST WALL WITH THE WHEELED END OF IV STAND(Trying to trap the minster with the IV stand = 4) You quickly pin the creatures against the wall with the IV stand in a way that prevents if from getting away.
FAILING THAT, JUST CLOBBER IT UPSIDE THE HEAD AND RUN OUT OF THE ROOM
Keep defending the fief from the pumpkin zombies, while I continue to use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 5) You continue the magical killing.
Keep up the enlightening of the pumpkin zombies.(You enlightening = 5) You get loads of followers.
Keep throwing explosive spells, while the demons will continue to attack the pumpkin zombies.(Casting explosive spells = 5) You continue to cast harmful spells that kill.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(1) They all die.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(4) They get some more to join.
Kill all humans and pumpkin zombies.(North America = 6) They kill a whole bunch of the pumpkin zombies and them get killed.
Back to Space-city. Let the guy stay in the city.(Letting the guy out = 3) You try to let the guy off of the Zord, but before you can he crawls into one of the damaged parts and disappears before you or your people can react.
Start repairing the Zord
Animal army will see what of what we salvaged is useful for us.
Take off this normal human costume!(Taking off the costume = 6) You start ripping the costume off flinging bits of it everywhere, you now find yourself standing naked in front of your counsel.
Try once again with the indoctrination process. Make these beasts loyal to the Emperor.
Use all my civilian and economical to set up settlements for all these refugees.
Meanwhile, send my armies to the afterlife, and defeat the failed experiments. Once dealt with, only allow the dead who bound themselves in loyalty to the Empire to be brought back to life.
Meditate once again. Try to unlock physic abilities.
Crawl inside the Zord through some of the damage before it's repaired.(4) Before the robot and animals can react you crawl off into the robot, and you keep crawling until you get into the middle of the robot, you now find yourself in a small room it appears to be some kind of maintenance room.
Meditate with my few faithful followers to obtain the true wisdom of the FUNK.(Meditating with followers to obtain the true wisdom of the FUNK = 4) After meditating for quite a while you feel that you've come incredibly close to the true wisdom of the FUNK, but your not quite there yet.
Once it is obtained, use it to our advantage in our sermons and general religion-spreading.
KEEP MONSTER PINNED! INTERROGATE IT!(Keeping the monster pinned = 5) You use your superior strength to keep that creature pinned to the wall.
Continue learning, if allowe, practice some of the spells I learned(Continuing to learn = 4) You continue to learn basic DISCO magic.
Create more cats(2+1 For god powers) You use your powers to create a few more cats.
Resurrect those who died as their true FUNKY selves, and then continue to blend the earth with the FUNKYverse(Resurrecting those who died as their true FUNKY selves = 2) You try to resurrect the dead, but your realize you don't know any resurrection spells.
Go look for a nice place for my vacation.(4) It doesn't take you long to find several resorts you could go to, and they all seem to be within your price range.
Try to stealthy sneak out of the super market and see where I am.(5) You quietly make your way out of the store and you see that your in a small looking town, and you seem to be completely alone, no pumpkin zombies, no humans, no mutant animals, there seems to be nothing near your current position.
Keep defending the fief from the pumpkin zombies, while I continue to use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.(You using holy magic to kill = 5) You kill dozens more of the monsters with your magic.
Keep up the enlightening of the pumpkin zombies.(You enlightening = 3) You only manage to enlighten a few more of them.
Keep throwing explosive spells, while the demons will continue to attack the pumpkin zombies.(Casting explosive spells = 6) You blow up dozens of the creatures, but you also accidentally blow up part of your fort.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.(6) They break a lot of stuff then die.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.(2) They sit and drink some beer.
Kill all humans and pumpkin zombies.(North America = 3) They kill a few of pumpkin zombies.
Sorry(6) You use decide to do some scrying to figure out where the time machine is and after several minutes of searching you find it, your not sure if it still works its there in one piece, but its in the basement of a collapsed building in the middle of a city that's been nuked, destroyed the rest of the way by the pumpkin zombies, and now filled with giant mutated animals.
Hmmmm... Find Imic’s old Time Machine.
Thank the DISCO Wizard for teaching me, cast the light spell on the humans who came with me to test whether this works on living creatures as well as being able to tell where they are at, then try learning more spells(Using the spell on the people that came with you = 4) After thanking the DISCO Wizard you go to see what happens when you use the spell on them, they don't seem to enthusiastic about the idea of spells being used on them but they let you do it anyway do it not being a harmful spell.
Wander around the Zord, looking for somebody in charge.(4) After crawling around in all manner of cramped passages for what feels like forever you eventually come across a vent into a larger chamber that looks to be a cockpit of some kind, so you kick the vent out and crawl out to find a man staring at you, and he looks like the closest thing to someone in charge your going to find.
keep trying to repair the zord.(Repairing the zord = 6) After a bit of work the zord gets repaired and they even fix stuff no one noticed before making it almost new again.
The Animal space pirates go to the hospital to heal their wounded.
Eat my cans of food and get my cats to build a bunch of defenses(Eating the caned food = 4) You quickly open and eat all of your caned food and that somehow heals your wounds.
Keep attempting to spread the Funkist movement, both in the FUNKIVERSE and the Earth.(Spreading the Funkist in the FUNKIVERSE = 2) Try as you might you can't get anyone interested in your religion in the FUNKIVERSE.
"OH, OKAY THEN. SORRY."(Asking where you are = 3) He only knows that your both in a hospital and its in a town.
ASK MONSTER WHERE I AM, WHAT IS THIS PLACE, AND HOW I GET BACK TO PLACE WHERE PARTY WAS HAPPENING.
ALSO WHY MONSTER SCARE ME LIKE THAT?!
Try once again to tame the mutants and make them loyal to me.(Trying to tame and make them loyal again = 4) After a bit more work they get the mutant animals to be loyal to your cause.
Meanwhile, use all of my resources, experience, power and capabilities to create a powerful and massive space fleet, capable of traveling through hyperspace, manually piloted.
Also, get fucking dressed. Something that inspires loyalty.
Try to resurrect everyone that died as their FUNKY selves again.(2) You try again but it still doesn't happen, maybe your missing something.
Pick a place and go there for a bit.(4) After a bit of thinking you pick a nice looking place, then you take your ship and fly there, its a small ocean side town with a nice beach front hotel.
Have someone attend to the wounded, while everyone else repairs the fief.(Healing the wounded = 1+3 For holy magic) Using your magic you heal everyone in the fief including yourself back to full health.
Its time to repair the monastery.(5) You and all your followers go over the entire place and fix everything in site.
Have the demons repair the fortress, while I try to enslave the mutated animals.(Rebuilding the fortress = 2) It turns out there aren't any materials to be used to fix anything.
Time to fix the commune.(3) They manage to fix a few things.
Kill all humans and destroy all signs of civilization.(North America = 3) They destroy a few random things/
”Alright, what’s next?” Start learning the next lesson(4) You quickly begin your next lesson, where you learn complex dance moves and hand motions that'll be important in learning spells later on.
“I was expecting a challenge.”(Flying to the city = 3+1 For wings) You quickly fly to the ruined city.
Fly to the city and purify the animals of their mutations.
"Welcome to Space-city, populated only by animals and myself right now! Just do whatever you want but don't annoy the space-pirates they are one of the pillars of this new community"(Welcoming the new guy = 3) You half-ass the greeting.
Welcome the new guy and call some animal to give us a tour to the city(or just me if he doesn't want to come).
Space-pirates animals have free time they can do whatever they want.
"Uh, hi."(3+1 For tour guides) They quickly lead you both out of the zord and into the city where they show you both all the most interesting places they can think of like the statue of some guy, their houses, the zord, the space pirate ships, and several other things they think you might want to see.
Follow along on the tour.
Send my enlightened Funkist followers in the various corners of the world, where they'll use their superior knowledge of FUNK to spread the Funkist religion further.(Sending the enlightened Funkist around the world = 5) You quickly send your enlightened out all over the world to spread the good word.
Funkists in Africa: Unite Africa into Holy African Union.
Also African Funkists: Prepare for guerilla warfare/scorched earth tactics against the Imperium troops.
Send my armies to Africa and try to convince these funkists to abandon their religion and join the Imperium. If that fails, well, leave none alive.(Sending armies to convince the Funkists to abandon their religion and rejoin the Imperium = 3) As your armies head in you find that they've renamed the continent to The Holy African Union and apparently only a few of the people living there want to abandon the religion or were never a part of it and they quickly flee to Europe, and everyone else seems to want to stay with the religion.
Then, using all my resources, powers, followers and allies to cause a coup in the Funkist Church, and establish a collaborationist leadership loyal to the Empire.
After all this is done, send the radiation to Dustan Hache's kingdom and force them to submission to the Imperium.
Start a space cat empire(6) Your cats build several ships so they can start the space empire, but upon testing one of the ships explodes and kills several cats, at least the other ships seem to be safe for use.
SEE IF HE KNOWS IF THERE IS ANY SAFE PLACE IN THE CITY AND THERE ARE ANY OTHER NOT HOSTILE PEOPLE AROUND.(Does he know were safe places are = 4) Apparently he went up to the roof and saw that there is a part of the city that looks clear of the creatures to the north, but it'll be hard to get there from the hospital.
Go to the FUNKIEST library and search the books there for the info needed to allow me raise the dead.(5) After travailing for a bit you arrive at the library, then you spend several minutes looking through books until you finally find a book with the info your looking for.
Go sit on the beach for a bit.(6) You sit on the beach for quite awhile, and you fall asleep only to wake up with the tide coming in getting you and your towel wet
Have some of my people search chop down some trees so we have materials to fix the fief..(Gathering wood = 5) After quite a bit of work you and your people gather enough wood to fix the walls.
Its time for some meditation.(6) You and all of your followers gather in the courtyard and meditate for quite some time.
Have the demons go out and gather materials to fix the fortress, while I continue to enslave the mutated animals.(Demons gathering building materials = 3) They go out and gather some of the rubble from several destroyed buildings.
Keep fixing the commune.(4) They manage to fix all kinds of things around the commune.
Kill all humans and destroy all signs of civilization.(North America = 2) They sit around and sleep.
Continue learning(5) This time the Wizard teaches you some more spells, a shield spell, detect magic, a spell that detects traps, magic mapping, and a spell that allows you to resist magic based attacks.
Keep exploring the animal city.(5) As you wander you see that its a fairly normal large city with its large office buildings and apartment towers, you also see that all the citizens here are animals some normal and others mutated, but other than that everything seems normal for what it is, also the animals talk and can do the same things as humans I think I forgot to mention that.
Have my collaborators send me intel from the Funkist leadership. At the same time, have them grow the support of the masses.(Collaborators finding intel = 2) They try to find intel, but something apparently happened to the leadership and the intel went with them.
Sponsor anti-Funkist Guerrilla groups in the Holy African Union, while using propoganda showcasing their inhumane warfare methods to make them lose the support of the people.
Send my armies to Africa and proceed the warfare, but only against the Funkist. We won't attack the civilians.
Send a telepathic message to CABL, and say the next..
"Hey, dude, like, I know that we are having a war, but like, I have an empire to rule, and you have a religion to establish. So what about this, I make the Holy African Union a protectorate of the Imperium, and you and your religious buddies establish there. In exchange, you will under the protection of the Empire, as long as the religion stays inside the continent of Africa.
The alternative is that you face me like a PUNK, and instead of Random Soldiers killing each other, widowing women and orphaning children, you and I fight each other to solve our countries differences.
Meanwhile send another telepathic message to WyrdByrd.
"Hey, what would say if I offer you the chance to deal with CABL and take over the Funkist Church? Wouldn't you like reuniting the FUNKIST Church?
Also, began training in the art of UNO. One doesn't know when it could be necessary.
Move the city towards the space-Trace center is time to sell loot(5) Using the various engines and thrusters around the space city you pilot it towards the space trade place and after several manuvers you get close enough to it to do some trading.
To God Emperor Kakaluncha: "Eat ass; I know you're planning to kill me, anyway."(You sending your own message = 6) You quickly send a message back to that guy.
Holy African Union: Import a "refugee" wave into France, which will do a bunch of serial suicide bombing, with power plants and major infrastructure being main priority.
Also HAU: Use every dirty tactic in our belt to hold off the Imperium. Civilian meat shields; fake surrenders; scorched earth tactics; chemical weaponry. Everything to hold them off.
As for myself, consume the minds of my enlightened disciples. I have no time finding traitors among them, so let's consume their energy instead.
Use the said energy to transform myself into an Avatar of FUNK.
...(Fixing the dead animals = 5) Using your powers you bring all the animals that died back to life.
Fix them and go find the time machine.Spoiler: For GM (click to show/hide)
NOT MY CATS! We need more manpower! Get my cats to start reproducing and summon more cats in.(Cats reproducing = 5) They quickly start making the sex in order to create more cats, and several end up pregnant, but it'll be a bit before the kittens are born.
Raise them FUNKY dead(3+1 For book) Using the power of FUNK and the information from the book you start to raise the dead on Earth, but you only manage to raise the people that died after you combined the Earth with the FUNKIVERSE.
GET THE CREATURE TO JOIN ME, THEN LETS LOOK AROUND THE HOSPITAL FOR ANYTHING USEFUL.(Getting the creature to join = 6) He is very happy that you let him come with you, as he thinks its better to stick together.
Time to build a sand castle.(5) You successfully build a rather large sand castle, you feel rather proud of this accomplishment.
Lets get thing back to normal here and start planting crops and fishing.(Planting crops = 2) Turns out its to cold to plant right now.
Meditate a little longer.(5) All of your people have visions of spirit animals, and past lives, so they all learn a great deal of lessons.
Enslave some more of the mutant animals, while the demons go out looking for any magical items.(Enslaving more mutant animals = 1+2 For magic) You have some trouble enslaving the animals and you only get a few.
Keep trying to fix the commune.(1) They damage some stuff partying.
Kill all humans and destroy all signs of civilization.(North America = 4) They go around destroying a bunch of stuff.
(Sorry about not posting this yesterday, I felt like shit and didn't really work on it.)
(Agreed)(Sorry about not posting this yesterday, I felt like shit and didn't really work on it.)
(Nah, it's fine. This is a really cool game, but you better put your phisical and mental health first)
"Thank you, DISCO Wizard. Would you be interested in helping me stop a sorceress from destroying the world? What other spells can I learn? I love the classes."(Asking the wizard if he'd help fight the sorceress = 5) After you tell him about the sorceress he agrees to help stop her, he also says that you will need to learn more spells to help defeat her.
Trade loot for food and water.(3+1 For being a place that buys things) You sell several things from your inventory like the decent amount of loot, some more loot, all manner of electrical components, a few still usable computer systems, and navigational equipment, for massive amounts of food and lots of water.
Make a painting of the city.(4) Over the coarse of several minutes you paint a beautiful painting of the city with the Earth in the background.
Create a giant FUNK energy storm above the France, hopefully destroying the country completely in the thudding, numerous explosions.(Creating a giant FUNK energy storm above France = 4+1 For HAU praying) Using your powers combined with the Prayer from the HAU you create a massive storm of FUNKY energy, then you send it towards France.
Whatever "refugees" that still weren't caught: Suicide bomb France's main power plant.
HAU: Start mass praying to CABL, The Avatar of FUNK, giving him a bonus to invoking a FUNKstorm.
Keep trying to raise more people, and check my messages. Also try to remove any FUNKY adherents from the FUNKIST conflict.(Trying to raise more people = 4) You feel that thousands of people were going to die in a massive storm, so you quickly get to work and with your powers you keep the people from dying.
It’s fine, don’t worry.(3+1 For powers) You go around the city uncorrupting every animal you find, in the end you uncorrupt almost everything around the city.
Uncorrupt more animals
Oops. ADD WEAPONS TO THE SPACESHIPS(5) Your cats gather materials and build enough weapons to arm every spaceship in your fleet, then they quickly install all of them.
Have the collaborators continue to gather support with in the Funkist Church, send teams out to rebuild and repair the damaged factories and power plants, while the army and guerrilla continue to fight the Funkists in Africa(Collaborators gathering more support = 6) They manage to gather several more followers, but turns out one of them was a counter agent and they've reviled the names of all the collaborators.
GIVE THE CREATURE THE HANDGUN, THEN LOOK FOR A WAY OUT OF THE HOSPITAL THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE A MASSIVE FIGHT.(4) You give the creature the gun, then quickly search the hospital for a way out, and after a bit of looking around you find a sewer access point in the basement which appears to be deserted.
Try to build an actual castle out of sand.(3) Even after quite a bit of work you only manage to make a small room with a roof, it appears making a castle sized thing out of sand will take quite a long time to build.
Have the fief look after itself while I go out and look for more survivors.(How does the fief do = 6)The fief gets attacked by mutated animals, but they manage to kill them all in the end.
Now is the time for training to become warrior monks.(4) It doesn't take long for the training to start and but the time the days over everyone seems like a slightly better fighter.
Study the books and see what their about, the demons will guard the fort.(Studying the books = 6) You discover that the books are all about powerful magics, that you can use to enhance your powers.
Keep trying to fix the commune.(1) They keep breaking shit around the camp.
Kill all humans and destroy all signs of civilization.(North America = 3) They only break a few things.
Just realized I’m heavily injured. Fix that.(4) You use your powers to heal all the injuries you've recently required.
IF MY COMPANION IS READY, DRAG MANHOLE COVER ASIDE, SCREAM "COWABUNGA" AND CLAMBER INTO SEWER(Opening the manhole = 4) You and the creature quickly pry the manhole cover off and drag it away.
Learn advanced magic(4) You spend some time learning some advanced spells from the DISCO Wizard, like magic missile, disco dancing, power thrusting, and several others.
Travel around the space-city searching for abandoned buildings that could be transformed in farms/greenhouses.(5) You spend a few minutes looking for places for farms, and eventually you find several parking lots that weren't being used for anything so you could build farms on them.
Colonize other planets and moon(Colonizing other planets = 5) Your cats go out and start small colonies on the following planets, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto.
Appear in North America and use my FUNK powers to mind control and convert population into Funkist faith.(Appearing in North America = 5) You quickly teleport to North America, you find yourself next to an abandoned highway.
HAU: Execute every Imperial spy.
Also HAU: Keep pushing the Imperial troops from Africa.
Find somewhere to sell my art.(5) After searching for a bit you finally find a nice place next to a major road where you can sell your art.
Keep trying to raise the dead.(3) You only manage to bring the newly dead Funkist back to life this time.
The collaborators will try to escape Africa, and the army and guerrillas will continue fighting, while the teams work to restore power to as much of France as they can, and all French remaining citizens evacuate to safer areas.(Collaborators escaping = 2) All of them are captured and executed before they can even think of escaping.
Continue to work on my giant sand castle.(2) You keep working on the giant sand castle, but no matter what you do it keeps collapsing.
Have the fief defend itself, while I use my magic to protect myself from the mutants.(The fief defending itself = 2+2 For walls) The citizens of the fief use the walls to their advantage and keep the mutants out.
Continue the warrior training.(4) Your people continue their martial training and become competent warriors.
Continue to study the books, while the demons continue to guard the fort.(Studying the books = 3) You study the books some more, but your not sure you can get any more info from them right now.
Keep trying to fix the commune.(5) They finally get off their asses and fix some stuff instead of breaking everything.
Kill all humans and destroy all signs of civilization.(North America = 4) They break all kinds of shit.
Build some nukes(5) Your cats quickly start building nuclear bombs, and after quite a bit of work they finish building four of them.
Sell my artwork and use the money to buy a studio.(Selling the art = 3) After quite a while you find a guy that's willing to buy your painting.
Use Detect Magic to try and find the Sorceress’s magic, since the FUNKIVERSE and Earth are the same world now(3) You use your spell to try to find the sorceress, it turns out the spell has a limited range and your only able to get a direction of where she is from where you are.
Summon two swords of pure FUNK and start killing every Imperial citizen in North America.(Summoning two pure FUNK swords = 5) Using your powers you summon a pair of the FUNKIEST swords ever created.
Holy African Union: Pray to make the FUNKSTORM bigger and more devastating.
Also HAU: Keep pushing the Imperial troops out of Africa.
Tear apart the parking lots to build the farms(Tearing apart the parking lots = 4) Your people quickly tear up the pavement and remove the rubble.
Try and unmutate some more of the animals.(3) You only manage to unmutate a few more of the animals.
LOOK AROUND AND TRY TO FIND A MAP.(5) You spend a few minutes wondering around until you find a room with tools and things in it, and after digging through it you find a map of the sewers.
Continue the dead rising.(2) Try as you might you can't seem to raise any more.
Have the army and guerrillas will continue fighting in Africa, the teams will switch to evacuating France and the affected parts of Europe, and all able citizens will evacuate the areas affected by the storm.(Guerrillas fighting = 5) Your guerrillas manage to sneak into a AHU camp and blow up a bunch of their soldiers.
Try to build the castle again.(5) After much work you finally manage to build a full sized castle out of sand.
Have the fief defend itself, while I go back to searching for survivors.(The fief defending itself = 2+2 For walls) They continue to defend the fief from the mutants.
Keep the training going.(1+2 For previous training) Your people continue to train, but don't get any better at fighting.
Try to study the books again, while the demons continue to guard the fort.(Studying the books = 4) You find that they are books filled with several powerful spells.
Keep trying to fix the commune.(5) They manage to fix so much stuff.
Kill all humans and destroy all signs of civilization.(North America = 1) They all get killed trying to attack a building filled with people.
Is this still not dead? It's almost april and this is still not dead?!tis correct
Is this still not dead? It's almost april and this is still not dead?!This thing will last until I'm sick of looking at it, and its getting there but I'll let it go for a while longer.
Start heading towards her(4) You quickly start heading in the direction of the sorceress and after a bit of walking you finally make it back to the FUNKY town you came to when you first got to the FUNKIVERSE, looks like its going to take you a bit to walk all the way there.
Build more nukes, and drop the 4 nukes onto major cities.(Building more nukes = 3) Your cats only manage to build one more nuke.
Fine for now, Go to the Megazord is time to explore space for planets with life or targets for piracy(Finding a planet with life = 2) You fly around for a bit and find no planets with life on them, but you don't think you went out far enough to find them.
INSPECT MAP. IS IT HELPFUL?(Is the map helpful = 5) After looking at the map you see that it labels the street names next to the corresponding sewer lines, and that it has the streets as well as the sewer lines on it.
NOT MUCH USE HAVING MAP OF PLACE IF I NOT KNOW WHICH PARTS OF SAID PLACE ARE ACTUALLY WHERE I WANNA GO. SHOW IT TO MY NEW PAL, TOO.
Establish another Funkist state in North America, called "Funky States of America".(Establishing the Funky States of America = 5) After wondering for a bit you come across a small group of survivors and after some talking they decide to join you, and you call this group The Funky States of America.
HAU: Keep praying to the FUNKSTORM and pushing the Imperials out of Africa.
Compete to buy the studio.(2) You place all of your money on the bid and you still get out bib by some fat dog, looks like your going to have to keep looking for a studio.
Yes, the great sand castle is built...JUST IN TIME FOR MY SURPRISE STRIKE ON EARTH! The tower unfurls, revealing the SANDERIZER CANNON. This powerful piece of technology will turn the entire earth into sand. HAHAHAHAHAH! OUR REVENGE IS COMPLETE!(Does the SANDERIZER work = 4) After a quick look over you find it to be in working order, and ready to fire.
Not sure what my old plan was so uncorrupt more animals I suppose.(4) You quickly go out and uncorrupt more animals, almost all of the animals in North America have been returned to their original states now.
One more time, try to raise the dead!(2) You don't manage to bring anyone back, maybe you need to rest for a bit before you try again.
The half of the army shall withdraw from Africa and aid in the evacuation while the rest continues to fight the Funkists, the guerrillas will also continue to fight, the teams will find a way to aid in the evac, and the citizens will also continue to evac, while all scientists will start working on something to get rid of the FUNKSTORM.(Guerrillas fighting = 3) They continue to fight but do very little this time around.
Have the fief defend itself, while I lead the survivors back to the fief.(The fief defending itself = 4) They continue to defend against the mutated animals.
Continue training.(4) You and your followers continue to train, increasing your fighting prowess.
Practice some of my new spells, while the demons continue to guard the fort.(Practicing the new spells = 5) You successfully cast several powerful spells, you now feel confident in using these spells.
Keep trying to fix the commune.(5) They fix all kinds of stuff.
Kill all humans and destroy all signs of civilization.(North America = 4) They break all kinds of shit.
Attempt a teleportation spell in the direction of the sorceress, hopefully teleporting my followers and I closer to her location withiut getting submerged in liquid or getting stuck in walls/trees(Teleporting yourself and your followers = 4) Using one of the spells your recently learned you successfully teleport yourself and your followers.
Drive the Zord towards the abandoned space station.(Zord going to the abandoned space station = 4) You quickly pilot the Zord over to the abandoned space station, and find that it is indeed abandoned, lights off and a damaged section surrounded by debris, looks like it got hit by something but your not sure what.
Space pirates will salvage the Space junk for anything useful
Teleport to the Imperial research center and slaughter the scientists in order to prevent them from stopping the FUNKstorm.(Teleporting to the Imperial research center = 5) Using your powers you quickly teleport to the research center, and appear next to a group of startled scientists.
HAU: Build a bunch of nuclear bomb shelters and also pray to strengthen the FUNKstorm.
FSA: With how small the amount of followers in America is, it's better to sail off to Australia and spread the Funkist faith among those who inhabit the Down Under.
Block all the nukes.(3+1 For powers) You use your powers to prevent any nukes from being launched.
Offer to split the costs with the fat dog.(4) You offer to slit the costs of the studio with the fat dog and he agrees and you both split the studio evenly.
Build more nukes, then drop them onto large concentration of military things/people(Building more nukes = 4) Your cats build 4 more nuclear bombs.
Power up the canon further with my handy dandy do it yourself fusion reactor kit!(4) You quickly assemble your fusion reactor and set it to powering the SANDERIZER CANNON.
"SO, IT'S SAFER? IS IT NEAR THE ARENA OR WHATEVER? I'M PRETTY LOST RIGHT NOW DUDE"(Asking the question = 4) He tells you that he doesn't know where anything is in the town or where an arena is, as he woke up in hospital like you did and he's just as lost as you are.
LET MY NEW BUDDY LEAD THE WAY FOR NOW. KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR SEWER MONSTERS OR OTHER THREATS
Rest for a bit to recharge my magic.(3) You try to sleep for a bit but you can't so you only get a little rest.
Have the half of the army help evac the civilians, the half that got pushed out of Africa will also start aiding in the evac, the guerrillas will continue to fight, the teams will also aid in the evac, citizens will also evac, and the scientists will start building the device that'll get rid of the storm.(Army half aiding in the evac = 4) They help more people get to safer parts of Europe.
Have the fief continue to defend itself, while I keep leading the survivors back to the fief.(The fief defending itself = 4) They continue to defend the fief.
Keep training.(5) They train so well they become professional fighters.
Try to learn some more spells from the books, while the demons keep to guarding the fort.(Learning more new spells = 3) You only learn one new spell.
Sit around, smoke pot, and sing songs.(6) They get so stoned they have visions and stuff then pass out.
Kill all humans and destroy all signs of civilization.(3) They break a few things.
Alright, wait for the cannon to fully charge up, then fire again at earth!(Cannon fully charging and firing = 5) You wait a few minutes for the cannon to fully charge, then you fire it a the Earth.
Drag the space Station near the space-city we don't have space-suits to explore it safely inside the zord(4) You use the zord to grab the space station and drag it over to the city, and you leave it close to the city but not so close it will hit it.
Look for an animal large enough for all of us to ride on, then try using a spell to control it as a second body to myself. If this succeeds, get body 1 onto body 2 and body 1 will tell the 3 followers to join her on body 2 as we ride towards the fortress(Looking for a large animal = 4) After a bit of searching you find a giant wolf in a nearby field.
(Does this make sense or do you have questions? Basically my mind in 2 bodies, a young hive mind)
If the above action fails and I am not able to make the animal’s consciousness my own, use the wizard’s necromancy spell to make it an undead minion instead, then we 4 get on it and ride, if neither of these spells work, try a blood spell to drain the animal’s blood from it’s eyes.
If an animal isn’t found, try growing wings
(If first action fails, attempt second, if second fails, attempt 3rd, if 3rd action fails, attempt 4th
If any succeed, don’t attempt later actions, is this allowed or do I need to shorten this? If it’s too many backup plans, just attempt action 1)
keep buildit and launching nukes. Attempt to remove block with my powers(Building more nukes = 2) It turns out your cats that were building nukes are asleep and can't build any.
Now that I have a studio, paint a picture of CABL’s fight with Angelo/Diablo from the last game.(Remembering the fight = 3) You think about the fight, but all that's happened in the past year has made it hard to remember exactly what happened during the fight.
Spoiler: For GM (click to show/hide)
Cause an Europe-wide earthquake that will also erupt FUNK energy that disintegrates everyone who doesn't believe in the Funkist faith.(Causing an earthquake that erupts FUNK energy = 4) Using your FUNKY powers you create a earthquake of FUNK energy.
HAU: Kill the guerillas; take no prisoners!
FSA: Repair the ship's engines, then sail to the Down Under.
KEEP FOLLOWING MY BUDDY TO THE SAFER PLACE, WHILE I KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR HOSTILE CREATURES.(Getting to the safer place = 5) After walking for several minutes he leads you both to where he says is the exit to the area of town that might be safer.
Rest for a bit longer.(4) You continue to rest, now you feel like you have recharged somewhat.
Have the army regroup and continue evacing the civilians, and the teams and civilians continue to evac, while the guerrillas continue to fight, and have some people search the lab for any notes on the device, then try to complete the device.(Army regrouping = 2) They can't seem to find each other.
Build some new houses for the new arrivals.(5) They quickly build the houses for the new people.
Keep training.(3) They continue to train and get slightly better.
Keep trying to learn some more spells from the books, while the demons keep to guarding the fort.(Learning more new spells = 3) You only learn one more spell, maybe you need to relax for a bit so you go back to studying you can focus better.
Sit around, smoke pot, and sing songs.(4) They all get high as kites.
Kill all humans and destroy all signs of civilization.(1) They get killed of by fighting each other.
Try forming the blood into 4 sets of wings, one set per person(Can you control blood = 4) It takes you a second but you manage to take control of the blood that came out of the giant wolf, and make some simple shapes out of it.
Get some space-suits so we can explore the space-station(5) After digging around you find enough space suits in the shuttle craft that was recently found to allow you and a small crew to go to the space station.
Spoiler: GM (click to show/hide)
Well...Third Time's the charge. FIRE AGAIN!(Hitting the Earth = 4) You let the cannon charge up again, this time you spend a bit longer aiming it, and it pays off with a direct hit.
Paint Satan’s old office.(Remembering Satan's office = 6) It takes a second but the details come back to you and you remember everything about it even the tiniest details come to you in vivid clarity, its like you where there when you were remembering it.
Destroy the laboratory in a spin attack, then teleport at the top of Eiffel Tower, from where I will charge myself up with the FUNK energy and jump down, causing another earthquake.(Destroying the lab = 5) You quickly smash everything in the lab and leave nothing standing.
HAU: Pray to the Funkstorm
FSA: Keep repairing the ship, then sail to the Down Under.
Dino Kingdom Two: Eclectic Boogaloo(6) After a bit of work you manage to open a rift in the town from the last game and send your dinos through, but the town has been destroyed sense you were last here so they all leave the rift and fall into the crater that is now in the towns place, fortunately for you most of them come through and survive the fall unharmed, but others aren't so lucky and they get injured by the fall.
Suddenly, A rift appears in a certain town. Invasion of the Dino-Alliance Army begins.
Spawn in more cats(5) You use your powers to create even more cats, and after you finish counting them you realize you have more than double the number of cats than you had previously.
"'KAY, COOL. SAY, WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YA WOKE UP IN THAT HOSPITAL, ANYWAY? WERE YOU PARTYING WITH THE LOCALS?"(Asking your follower where he was before he got to the hospital = 4) According to him he was at a party that had nothing to do with the stadium, and apparently he also smoked the same kind of weed you smoked before you got here.
SAY ABOVE WHILST HAVING QUICK LOOK AROUND FOR SEWER TREASURE AND/OR SOUVENIRS (SEWERVENIRS?), THEN FOLLOW MY BUDDY OUTSIDE
Keep resting for a while longer.(4) You continue to rest for a while and better rested than you were.
Have both parts of the army, the teams, and the civilians continue to evac, and start getting everyone out of Europe and have them go to the Middle East.(Army 1 evacing civilians = 2) They get lost in the storm.
Organize a hunt, and go hunting.(Organizing = 6) You organize a hunt, and apparently everyone wants to go.
Keep training.(3) You continue to train and only see slight gains in combat prowess.
Meditate for a bit about how to become a more powerful sorceress, while the demons guard the fort.(Meditating about becoming more powerful = 4) You meditate for a bit about becoming more powerful and you discover that you have a spell in your possession that could increase your powers.
Sit around, smoke pot, and sing songs.(2) Oh man all the pot is gone, what are we going to do?
Let’s fly toward the sorceress(5) You and your companions quickly fly towards the sorceress, and after a bit you all arrive just outside the fortress, but when you arrive you find a horde of warriors fighting the fortresses guards.
Heal the Dinos.(Healing the dinos = 5) You use some magic and quickly heal all of the dinos.
Have the flyers go collect materials for building a platform to bring supplies and gear out of.
Explore the abandoned space station(5) You and your crew search the space station and after quite a bit of looking around you find that the damaged section held the life support equipment and crew apparently evacuated to where you don't know and have no way of finding out, and judging by the state of things you could get the thing back running order with some work or you could salvage it for parts.
Keep spawning more cats and have my cats build more spaceships with guns on it.(Spawning more cats = 3) You only manage to spawn a hundred more cats.
Paint the Funky Earth.(6) you spend a bit thinking about what the FUNKY Earth looks like from space, and after a bit of visualizing you figure out what your going to paint, so you start and after several minutes of painting you complete a masterpiece and it looks so real you'd think it was a photograph, but magical because it moves because if you watch it long enough the Earth slowly turns.
Continue Fireing, until the entire planet is SAND!(Hitting the Earth = 5) You wait for the cannon to charge and fire again.
AHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Spoiler: You know the drill by now (click to show/hide)
Become one with the FUNK and disappear in a FUNKY, multi-colored mist, then appear in the Middle East in my new healed form.(Becoming one with the FUNK and disappear, then reappear in the Middle East = 4) You quickly become one with the FUNK and teleport over to the Middle East.
HAU: Keep praying to make the FUNKSTORM even more powerful, hopefully making it cover both the Europe and the Middle East.
FSA: Make the parts ourselves and build a fitting ship engine.
SEARCH SOME OF THE NEAR BY BUILDINGS FOR SNACKS.(5) You break into a store and find all kinds of snacks, so you and your follower gather as many of them as you both can.
Rest for a bit longer.(4) You continue to sleep any you feel pretty good about it.
Have the army, the teams, and the civilians continue to evac to the Middle east, and start loading everyone into the spaceships.(Army 1 evacing civilians = 5) They continue to evac people and bring them to the Middle East.
Smoke the meats, and tan the hides.(Smoking meats = 6) Your people quickly set out and smoke the meat, but some of it gets burnt so you throw it out.
Its time to use our warrior training, we must go and defeat the only threat to the world on this content, we must defeat the sorceress, but first we must get there.(6) Your people quickly march to the fortress, but when you arrive you have little time to prepare as the demons quickly attack your monks, and while your people manage to hold their own you do lose a few of them.
Learn the spell to make me a powerful sorceress, while the demons guard the fort.(Learn the spell to make me more powerful = 2) You try to learn the spell but something prevents your from learning it.
Oh god we have to find more pot!(5) After much searching some pot is found it should be enough to last for a bit.
Dina Actions: Send the dinos to go get the sugar cannons and my personal stash of candy gem apples.(Dinos getting the sugar cannons and personal stash of candy gem apples = 6) Your dinos quickly begin bringing the items through the portal, but in their haste to bring the items through they accidentally break a one of the sugar cannons and a few of the candy gem apples.
The rest should set up a base camp for desert conditions. Place is crazier than when we left.
Meditate to boost my power. I'm going to need it.
Use some magic to create sand golems to fight the fortress guards(Creating sand golems = 4) You quickly use your powers to form some of the sand into large humanoid shapes, give them life, and order them to attack.
Fix the space station.(3) It takes longer than expected to clear the damaged parts from the space station, and they only manage to rebuild the sector, they don't get around to wiring it or replacing the life support systems.
Magically spawn a death star cause Ièm a god, and get my cats to build some kind of planetary shield.(Spawning a death star = 4) Using your godly powers you summon a death start in orbit of one of your planets.
Just stab the God-Emperor of Mankind multiple times.(Finding the God-Emperor = 4) You use your powers to detect the God-Emperor, and after several minutes of searching you finally find him in some building planing the evacuation.
HAU: Build and retreat to underground bunkers, but keep on praying while being underground.
FSA: Walk to the Down Under by foot, then.
Make a new painting of the damaged Earth.(3+1 For previous art) You sit for a minute looking at what has become of the Earth before you start to paint, and when you finish you step back and look at the beautiful painting you've created.
Well, that seems sufficient revenge. Earth's gonna die without water or plants, and nothing will remain except sand. Back to vacation!(3) After having severely damaging your enemy you feel its time to go and enjoy the rest of your vacation, but when you get back to the hotel you find that you can't get room service because there are rats in the kitchen, but they do give you a coupon for a nearby restaurant.
Try to find out where the beam that turned everything to sand came from.(3) You spend several minutes trying to figure out where the beam came from but all you can figure out is a general direction instead of an actual origin.
SEE IF WE CAN FIND A MAP OF THE CITY.(3) After searching a gas station you find a map, but it's a subway map and you haven't seen a subway entrance yet so its not the most useful thing.
Something's damaged the connection to the FUNKIVERSE I must repair the connection, recombine the Earth with the FUNKIVERSE.(3) You try to reconnect the Earth and the FUNKIVERSE but you only manage to open a portal to it.
Have the army, teams, civilians continue to retreat to the Middle East, while others try to fix the spaceships.(Army 1 evacing civilians = 4) They continue to evac the civilians.
Try to use some of my holy magic to turn the sand in and around my fief back to dirt.(2) Try as you might the magic just can't seem to turn the sand to dirt.
Everyone continue to attack, while I aid in the fight.(Everyone fighting = 4) They tear their way through the mutant animals and a few demons.
Release the mutant animals while the demons continue to defend, and I shall cast spells on the enemy.(Releasing the mutants and having them fight = 3) You quickly release the mutants and they seem to do quite poorly against the enemy fighters.
Oh shit everything turned to sand, oh well the pot will distract us.(2) OH SHIT ITS NOT WORKING, BAD TRIP MAN, BAD TRIP!
Attempt to hypnotize the guards to attack each other(Hypnotizing the guards = 5) You use your magic to hypnotize several of the demons and they believe you're their leader so they move to protect your group and attack and kill the other demons.
continue fixing the Space station.(4) Your people quickly finish building and installing the remaining systems and when there inspection they find the station to be in working order.
Use death star to randomly blow up planetary objects that are not part of my empire(Blowing up planetary objects = 4) You drive the Death Start around and blowup a few moons and asteroids.
Candy grants great power, and each of these candy gem apples are crystallized essences of that ability.(Using CGA to cut off all other dimensional phenomena = 5) You use one of your CGAs to cut off all dimensional phenomena on the Earth, which isn't very much apparently as you find that there is only one other portal besides your own which is closed by your magic, you also feel like you thwarted an attempt to join the Earth and another dimension.
With CGA in hand, cut off all other dimensional phenomena around the planet.(other than our more scientific portal.)
The dinos meanwhile are to use the sugar cannons to blast the earth on the continent back to normal.(bonus thanks to being made of sugar)
Run around like crazy and slice and dice the guardsmen around their God Emperor while spinning to make it harder to hit me.(Spinning around to make it harder to hit you = 6) Your spinning causes you to get dizzy after a bit and you fall over and hurt yourself on some broken glass.
When all the guardsmen are dead, leap at the God Emperor and finish him off by combo-stabbing his throat.
HAU: Build more bunkers, keep praying to the FUNKSTORM.
FSA: Start proselytizing the inhabitants of Australia.
Paint my cockroach-infested fridge from before all this happened.(Remembering what the cockroach-infested fridge looked like = 5) You remember your cockroach-infested fridge quite well and you miss it dearly.
LET'S BREAK FOR LUNCH. TIME TO EAT SOME OF THIS JUNK FOOD!(Pausing for lunch = 4) You and your friend stop for a bit and eat some of the snacks you've collected.
CHAT WHILE WE EAT.
"SO, WHERE ARE YOU FROM, FRIENDO? I DUNNO ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M FROM, UH, THE MORTAL PLANE I GUESS YOU'D CALL IT? I COME FROM A PLACE CALLED EARTH, NOT SURE HOW WELL-KNOWN IT IS OUT HERE. THING IS, I DON'T KNOW HOW IT IS WHERE YOU'RE FROM, BUT BACK HOME - IF WE COULD GET OUR HANDS ON SOME OF THIS HELL-WEED THEY SMOKE HERE - WE COULD MAKE ABSOLUTE BANK SELLING THAT STUFF."
TALK BUSINESS WITH MY BUDDY!
"THINK ABOUT IT! WEED THAT SOMEHOW TELEPORTS YOU TO A SPOOKY-ASS HOSPITAL IN SOME ZOMBIE-INFESTED CORNER OF THE DEMON BLOODSPORTS DIMENSION?? PEOPLE WOULD SELL THEIR OWN GRANNIES FOR JUST A LI'L TOKE OF THAT STUFF. MIGHT WANT TO SET UP SOME KINDA PORTAL ON THIS END TO HAVE ANY SURVIVING, REPEAT CUSTOMERS, BUT THOSE ARE DETAILS WE'LL WORK OUT LATER. MOVE OVER, FLAKKA, THERE'S A NEW GAME IN TOWN! WHAT SAY YOU?!"
Go eat at the restaurant then. Should have some decent food!(4) You go to the restaurant and use your coupon to get a free meal, and it is quite a good meal you get.
Use my powers to put the water back where it belongs.(2+2 For powers) Using you powers you return the oceans, rivers, lakes, ponds, and swamps back to their original places.
Use the portal to allow the Earth and the FUNKIVERSE to be one again.(5-3 For some other action) Just as you are about to succeed something happens and not only prevents you from joining the two it closes your portal to the FUNKIVERSE.
Runaway from my attacker and call the rest of my guards to attack him, while the army, teams, civilians continue to retreat to the Middle East, and everyone starts loading into the spaceships.(Calling your guards to attack him = 6) You call your guards to kill the man and they rush in to fight, but some of them don't and they instead run away, then you hear all your guards get murdered by that guy.
Try again to use some of my holy magic to turn the sand in and around my fief back to dirt.(4) You use your magic to change the sand back, and it works this time, but then suddenly all the sand every where changes back to dirt.
Continuing to attack, while I aid in the fight.(Everyone fighting = 3) They only kill a few of the demons.
Keep casting spells while the mutant animals and demons continue to defend the fort.(Casting spells on the enemy = 5) You spells explode the attackers.
Quick try to find a new distraction.(3) The new distraction doesn't last very long, but then suddenly the ground goes back to normal and everyone stops panicking .
Walk around the space city to see if there is any short or long term problems in need of solving (Beyond the whole to becoming self-sustaining about food and water)(5) After walking around for a bit you find that the long term problems you know about are the only ones that the space city has.
Turn the non hypnotized demons’ weapons and armor into mimics that will eat the demons(Turning the hostile demons weapons and armour into mimics = 4) You quickly use your magic on the hostile demons and turn their armour and weapons into mimics.
After casting that spell, cast another spell that starts melting the fortress, whatever material it’s made of, if it can melt, it will melt, or burn if it can’t melt
Meditate to gain power.(Meditating for power = 5) You meditate for a bit and finally you feel that you have become stronger.
Have the dinos bring in cuttings and seeds from our world to plant around america.(grass, trees, vines, flowers, all sorts.)
Slice the God-Emperor's head off and keep it as a trophy.(Cutting off the God Emperor's head = 4) You walk up to the dying emperor that's slowly crawling away, and you pull out your machete and chop his head off, then you hold it up for all to see and they flee in panic.
Turn my attention to the spaceships; kill the civilians/passengers and seize the spaceships for themselves.
HAU: Stop praying to the FUNKSTORM and try to make more bunkers again.
FSA: Rename ourselves to Funkist State of Australia.
Start using my anti-funk to get rid of the funk.(3+1 For powers) Using the last of your anti-FUNK you remove the FUNKSTORM, and with its removal you seemed to have removed almost all FUNK in the world.
Use the Death(4) You have the Death Star charge the planet destroying beam and when its fully charged you fire it at the sun which causes it to explode but somehow doesn't kill anyone or destroy any planets.StartStar to blow up the sun
Paint the Sun, for some reason I really want to commit the Sun to memory.(4) You quickly paint a beautiful painting of the sun, and right as you finish it the sun explodes, I guess making something to remember it by was a good idea.
What a good meal! Now retire to my room and catch up on my shows and spacenews.(Catching up on your shows = 6) You go back to your room to sit and watch the newest episode of your favorite space drama, and after the credits roll you see an announcement that it has been canceled.
"SWEET!"(Fistbumping = 5) You and your friend quickly fistbump to seal the new business partnership.
SEAL OUR NEW BOND OF PIE-IN-THE-SKY BUSINESS PARTNERSHIP WITH FRIENDLY FISTBUMP
"...NOW I GUESS WE JUST GOTTA FIGURE OUT WHERE TO GET SOME MORE OF THAT HELL-WEED. AND WHERE WE ARE, YEAH THAT'S PROBABLY THE FIRST STEP I GUESS. GETTING BACK TO EARTH IS HONESTLY PROBABLY THE EASY PART, THE DIMENSIONAL FABRIC AROUND HERE HAS MORE HOLES THAN THE PLOT OF... WAIT, DO YOU GET UWE BOLL MOVIES OUT HERE IN THE DEMON BLOODSPORTS DIMENSION?"
GET BACK TO TRYNA FIGURE OUT WHERE WE ARE, ESPECIALLY IN RELATION TO WHERE WE WERE BEFORE. THERE ANY DEMON SETTLEMENTS NEARBY? STAY VIGILANT FOR ATTACKS AS ALWAYS
Find out who blocked the FUNK!(3) You use your powers and only get a vague direction of where they are.
See about replanting the fiefs crops.(4) You and our people quickly replant the crops.
Everyone Keep fighting.(Everyone fighting = 3) They only manage to kill a few of the mutants.
Demons and mutants keep fighting, while I try to summon a big demon to fight for me.(Mutant animals defending = 1) A whole bunch of them get killed instead.
Try to crawl a way from the madman as fast as possible, and everyone else do as they were.(Crawling away from the madman = 2) Try as you might you can't crawl fast enough and he copes off your head.
Oh hey the ground went back to normal, lets go back to smoking pot and singing songs.(5) And everything goes back to normal for them.
((Yiu can roll for what the 3 humans decide to do))(I might have forgotten they existed, I'll do that next turn.)
((this coming turn? Or the turn after the coming turn? Likely this coming turn, but clarification is good. Sorry if the question sounds stupid/redundant))((Yiu can roll for what the 3 humans decide to do))(I might have forgotten they existed, I'll do that next turn.)
(The coming turn, no question is stupid if you learn something from the answer.)((this coming turn? Or the turn after the coming turn? Likely this coming turn, but clarification is good. Sorry if the question sounds stupid/redundant))((Yiu can roll for what the 3 humans decide to do))(I might have forgotten they existed, I'll do that next turn.)
((thanks))(The coming turn, no question is stupid if you learn something from the answer.)((this coming turn? Or the turn after the coming turn? Likely this coming turn, but clarification is good. Sorry if the question sounds stupid/redundant))((Yiu can roll for what the 3 humans decide to do))(I might have forgotten they existed, I'll do that next turn.)
Make the Death star's thermal exhaut port smaller.(4) You have your cats make the exhaust port smaller, now there are three the size of footballs in different places on the surface of the Death Star, and the ports are no longer straight shots to the core so you no longer have to worry about someone shooting into them.
((Because the sun exploded, will the other planets orbit Jupiter now? Or am I overthinking?))((Sense people are immediately swooping in to fix the lack of sun I'm not going to bother figuring out what will happen.))
Turn as much of the fortress as I can into mimics, have all of the mimics attack the giant demon
Cast spells on the mimics that give them more defense against physical and magical damage
Summon 3 swords, one for each human with me, and give one sword to each human
Turn my hands and feet into four hooked talons (https://i.imgur.com/A7kVTcB.jpg) and fly towards the giant demon and tear apart one of its eyes and fly into the socket. Look for its brain and start tearing it apart
The demon is very large. We are small enough to be parasites to it
Explore space searching for an habitable planet.(3) After looking around with a telescope for a bit you find a habitable planet but it seems to be really far away.
Honestly.(Restoring sun and stabilizing planets orbits = 6) You use your powers to recreate the sun and stabilize the orbits of all the planets, but when you finish you see that someone else has already replaced the sun so now there are two of them.
Restore the Sun. And stabilize the planetary orbits too.
Have the Dinos continue planting. Have the other dinos bring in the shield generators to cover North America.
As god of the sun, restore the sun.(2+2 For sun god powers) Using your sun god powers you unexplode the sun and restore it to its original condition.
RACK SHOTGUN MENACINGLY(Racking shotgun menacingly = 4) You menacingly pump your shotgun, and this startles the creatures for some reason they hesitate for a second.
"AWRIGHT NERDS, YOU MESSED UP BIG TIME NOW. HAND OVER ALL YOUR HELL-WEED AND MAYBE WE WON'T STOMP YOUR BUTT-UGLY, UH, BUTTS. OR LIKE, SHOOT THEM. WE'LL PROBABLY SHOOT AND STOMP YOUR BUTTS, IN THAT ORDER - IF YOU DON'T DO AS I SAY, I MEAN. YEAH!"
SAY ABOVE THREATS TO ATTACKERS, DEMAND ANY HELL-WEED THEY CARRYING
IF THEY STILL ATTACK, COMMENCE TO SHOOTING. SWITCH TO SWORD IF OUTTA SHELLS OR SOMETHING
Paint the Death Star.(3+1 For art skills) You spend a few minutes thinking about the Death Star before you finally decide to paint it, and it turns out beautifully.
Kill the rest of the passengers and size the remaining spaceships.(Killing the passengers = 5) You go into the last two ships and kill everyone inside of them.
HAU: Keep building bunkers until there are enough for everyone to get in them.
FSA: Bring the rest of the people in Australia into the Funkist cause.
Call the network and demand that they uncancel my favorite show.(5) You call the network heads and demand that they uncancel your show, and they said they'll do anything for a war hero like yourself.
Try to improve the fief's defenses.(6) You and your people put spikes along the top of your walls, but the walls are damaged in the process.
Everyone Keep fighting.(Everyone fighting = 4) They kill a bunch of the mutant animals.
Demons and mutants keep fighting, while I cast some harmful spells on the magic user.(Mutant animals defending = 2) They don't kill anyone they just die.
Attack the biggest group.(4) You kill dozens of the monks with a kick.
Go to the afterlife and rule over it.(4) You leave for the afterlife and take charge, and leave the puppers as your advisers along with the other ghosts.
Everyone keep evacuating.(Army 1 evacing civilians = 6) They manage to evac some people but others die.
Start heading in the direction to find whoever stopped the FUNK!(6) You start to walk towads who ever stopped the FUNK, but you get interrupted by a bunch of mutant animals.
Lets all sing songs and pretend the sun didn't explode.(6) Everyone starts panicking, oh god why did the sun explode!
Cast a spell that will cause the giant demon to turn into a stone statue(Turning the giant demon in to a statue = 5) Using your magical powers you turn the giant demon into stone.
Set Course towards that planet.(Heading towards the planet = 6) You steer the city towards the planet, and after a bit of flying you receive a message from another ship, they'rre apparently demanding all your valuables and they say they'll destroy the city if you don't hand them over.
Also try to organize an Council to rule the Space-city in my stead.
...absorb the extra sun for power.(4) You use your sun god powers to eat the second sun and absorb its power.
Paint the two suns.(2+1 For art) You quickly paint the two suns, but the quality of the painting isn't as good as you were hoping it would be.
Sail the Death Star out of the solar system via sails.(4) You have the Death Star's sails put up and you quickly catch a solar wind and sail out of the solar system.
((Fuck, I've forgotten about this game!))(Using the spaceships weapons against the army = 5) You activate the ship's weapons and take aim at what's left of Kakaluncha's army, they don't last but a few seconds against the onslaught.
Use the spaceships' defense systems/turrets to destroy the remnants of the Kakaluncha's army.
HAU: Colonize Europe and Middle East. Time for the Funkist faith to spread all around the world!
FSA: Fend off the mutant beasts with 'Strayan raw manliness.
Meditate to refine my power.(Meditating to refine power = 2) You can't meditate since everyone is upset over losing the weather machine.
Have the dinos bring in the weather machine and set it to fix the earth's weather to bearable.(with two suns, even if orbit is properly fixed, weather needs controlling) Also tell command on the other side to prep more seeds
SEARCH THE CORPSES FOR HELL-WEED, THEN LETS GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE MORE SHOW UP.(Searching for Hell-Weed = 3) You find one Hell-Weed join amongst the belonging of the dead creatures.
Go get a drink from the local bar to celebrate the uncanceling of my favorite show.(5) You then walk from your room to a local bar and get several drinks to celebrate the continuation of your favorite show.
Fix the damages to the fief.(1+2 For people) You and your people only manage to fix some of the damages.
Continue fighting.(Everyone fighting = 4) They kill a whole bunch of the mutants.
Have the mutants and demons continue to defend, while I try to summon more creatures to fight for me.(Mutant animals defending = 4) They manage to kill off a bunch of the monks.
Attack the biggest group.(5) It manages to kill off a whole bunch of the monks with a mighty kick.
Everyone keep evacuating, and attack the guy that's trying to steal the spaceships.(Army attaching the madman that's stealing the spaceships = 1) Before they can even react the spaceship's weapons open fire on them and they all die.
Use my FUNKY powers to kill all the mutated animals.(6) You use the power of the FUNK to kill all the mutants, but you get harmed some of the mutant bits that were flying around.
Oh hey the sun came back with a friend, so everything's fine now lets go back to partying.(6) Everything's going great, except we just smoked the last of the pot!
((If this is too many, tell me and I will delete some))(I've let people do more so its not a problem.)
Deploy the Mega-zord and the Space-Pirates we will raid the ship trying to raid us.(Mega zord attacking enemy ship = 5) You and your crew quickly get into their positions in the zord and fly into battle, and before the attacking ships can do anything you smash their engines.
Teleport the friendly demons into the castle so they can attack the sorceress(Teleporting friendly demons into castle = 6) You teleport you demonic allies into the fort, but something goes wrong and some of them get stuck in a wall.
Swoop down and use my talons to rip apart the animals, mutants and hostile monsters
Cast a spell on the mimics that allow them to drain life from their enemies to heal themselves
Cast another spell on the mimics to give them the ability to confuse opponents
Cast another spell that increases the defense of all allies
((If this is too many, tell me and I will delete some))
DISCOVER NEWS WORLDS OUTSIDE OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM.(3+1 For Death Star) You sail the Death Star to a new solar system and you find it to have several planets and one similar to Earth.
Meditate to refine my power.(Meditating for power = 4) You spend quite a bit of time meditating and when you leave your meditative state you find you have increased in power.
Have the dinos find out where the weather machine was sent and bring it over.
Likewise have the dinos finish planting the seeds around the rest of america.
Make one last painting of the departing Earth, and then find somewhere to sell my paintings.(Painting the Earth as it fades away = 5) You spend quit a lot of time watching the Earth fade a way, then you get ready to recreate the scene and start to paint it, it take quite a while to get the painting to look like what you want and when you finally finish it, its beautiful and it looks as if its happening in real time like a recording.
use my powers to return the Earth to what it was before it got turned to sand.(1+2 For powers) You try to fix the entire planet, but you only manage to fix South America.
Start converting the Middle East to Funkist.(Converting the Middle East to Funkist = 4) You go around and spread the word of Funkist and they quickly accept your religion as their own.
HAU start rebuilding what's been destroyed.
FSA should start building a town to live in.
KILL ALL THE CREATURES THAT FOLLOW US.(You killing = 4) You kill off some of the creatures that started following you.
Get a few more drinks before the place closes.(4) You keep the celebration going by getting a few more drinks.
Keep trying to fix the damages to the fief.(5) You and your people finish the repairs and get the fief back to mint condition.
Continue fighting.(Everyone fighting = 4) They also kill a bunch of the monsters.
The mutants and demons continue to defend, while I cast harmful spells on the attackers.(Mutant animals defending = 2) They can't get to the front line because of the monsters.
FUNK is lost to this world, I guess there's no way to bring it back so I shall return the the FUNKIVERSE.(5) You open a portal to the FUNKIVERSE and leave through it and you close it behind you leaving this FUNKLESS world behind.
Damn it go find more pot.(1) Oh shit all the pot is dead what are we going to do?
Board the Enemy ship.(5) With the engines and weapons disabled it's easy to get the zord close to the ship and dock to it, and you and your people go inside and find a empty hallway, looks like the enemy crew is somewhere further in.
With my power, water and earth and air, grow to adulthood seeds of all kinds, yet the rains moisten the reinvigorated earth of this country.[And use a Candy Gem Apple to do it.](Using power and a CGA to grow the seeds into mature plants = 1+3 For powers and CGA) Using your powers and a sacrificed candy gem apple to grow all the seeds that have been planted all into mature plants.
Turn on the weather machine to regulate the new weather system formed from my power over the earth.
Have the dinos bring the harvesting gear and machinery. There is about to be a lot of pollen and seeds to harvest and replant.
Mimics and I teleport into the fortress. If successful teleporting, enact the following plan:(Teleporting you and the mimics into the fortress = 5) You teleport you and all of your mimics into the fortress.
Heal all mimics who were damaged and free any who got stuck in walls. Free any friendly demons who got stuck in walls from last teleportation.
Mimics spread out to various rooms in the fortress, that way, if the sorceress teleports, mimics would be in every room and can continue attacking no matter where she goes. Cast a spell that links my teleportation with her, so when she teleports, I follow. Attack her continually with my talons, casting a spell that drains her mana to me each time she tries casting a spell. Friendly demons will search for the sorceress as well and attack her when they find her. Heal allies as often as needed during the fighting
Return the FUNK to the Earth and use the FUNK energy to twist it into my vision.(Returning the FUNK to Earth = 6-1 For praying) Using your FUNKY powers you return the FUNK to the Earth.
HAU: Transfer the spaceships from the Middle East to the Eastern Africa.
FSA: Pray to the CABL, boosting his action to restore the FUNK energy.
Sell the paintings.(4) You quickly set out a booth and start selling your paintings, and it seems they are quite popular as you sell out almost immediately and you make a massive amount of money.
LOOT ALL OF THEM FOR HELL-WEED AND OTHER GOODIES(Looting them for Hell-Weed = 5) You dig through their pockets and find loads of Hell-Weed.
CHECK HOW MUCH AMMO ME AND MY PAL HAVE LEFT
USE THE DEATH STAR'S SCANNERS TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING ON THIS EARTH LIKE PLANET.(5) You scan the planet and find that it is incredibly similar to Earth and has as species of sentient cat people.
Continue to return the Earth to normal.(6) You spend so much time fixing Australia that you don't have anytime to fix anything else.
Now that I have properly celebrated lets go see what that storm's doing.(5) You go outside and see that the storm has completely missed the town you are in.
Set out and look for more survivors.(2) You search and search and you find no one.
Continue fighting.(Everyone fighting = 1) Loads of them get killed by the demons.
The mutants, demons, and monsters continue to defend, while I cast harmful spells on the attackers.(Mutant animals defending = 6) They kill some of the attackers and some of them get killed off.
Start gathering an army to defeat the one that removed the FUNK.(5) You wander around gathering troops and by then end of your wondering you have a large army.
Quickly start trying to grow some pot!(3) They only manage to grow a few plants.
(Braking doors so mimics can spread around = 4) You quickly cast a spell that causes all the doors in the fortress to explode.openBreak as many doors as possible so the mimics can get further in the fortress
Continue the mana draining spell
Continue attacking the sorceress
While in the air, ast a spell on the floor in the room the sorceress is in that will cause the floor to be sticky to her
Cast spells on the mimics and friendly demons to make them immune to the stickiness of the floor
Advance and search for the crew.(2+1 For having several people with you) It takes a bit of searching but one of your people notices someone heading towards the bridge and after you follow that person you find the enemy crew has barricaded themselves in the ship's bridge.
Continue fun vacation shenanigans!(3) But you are unsure of what shenanigans you want to do so you get a few more drinks and stagger out of the bar in search of excitement, then you stumble over a curb and fall over.
Drop a few couple hundred humans on the world and sail off to the nearest stellar civilization.(Getting humans = 5) Using a computer deep withing the Death Star you print up a bunch of humans.
Meditate for more control over my power.(Meditating for more power = 3) You only get slightly stronger this time around.
Have the dinos get harvesting america for more seeds and growths to plant.
Have the weather machine start spreading it's control over the world.
"NO BIGGIE, I'VE STILL GOT MY SWORD ANYWAYS. SO UH, YOU GOT ANY IDEAS ON HOW INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTALS WORK, MAN?"(Asking if buddy knows how portals work = 2) He says he has no idea how they work.
TRY AND BRAINSTORM IDEAS ON HOW TO GET BACK TO EARTH AND THE DIMENSION IT'S IN.
MAYBE KEEP WALKING AS WE DO SO, SEE IF CAN FIND ANY SETTLEMENTS OR WEIRD HELL-WIZARDS WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP
Restore the oceans, the forests, and the other live on Earth. Restore Europe as well, but under the control of FUNK.(Restoring the oceans, forests, and life one Earth = 5) Using the powers of FUNK you change the sand back to dirt and you bring all the plants and animals back to life, you would return the oceans but someone beat you to it.
HAU: Carefully study the spaceships' schematics and systems, then repair them. The people can leave the bunkers now.
FSA: Colonize and convert Southeast Asia and Oceania to Funkist faith.
Take down my booth and go back to my studio and paint all the money I just made.(Going home = 4) Your walk home happens with out incident.
Keep desanding the Earth.(3) You use your powers to start desanding the Earth, but you only just start when suddenly someone else fixes it.
Expand my search area there have to be some survivors out there.(2) You search and search but still you find no one, maybe with all the crap that's happened in America ever survivor is dead now.
Continue fighting.(Everyone fighting = 4) They kill loads of the monsters.
Teleport myself out into the battle so my minions can protect me, while the mutants, demons, and monsters continue to defend.(Teleporting out into the battle field = 4-2 For reduced mana) You try to teleport away but your magic fails you and you get swarmed by mimics and you die.
Keep gathering people for the army because I need a massive army to defeat the one that removed the FUNK.(6) You continue to gather troops and after a bit you feel that your army is massive enough to fight whoever destroyed the FUNK.
That's not enough we need more!(1) OH FUCK, someone smoke all of it and the seeds.
((My thinking is maybe the sorceress’s spell made a room spawn them, so destroying the room would stop making them, ever played Gauntlet? In Gauntlet there are spawners that will continue us to make enemies until destroyed))(There is a finite number of the monsters, so far the game hasn't had any creatures that were infinite, also I've never played Gauntlet but I do know what spawners are.)
Look for where the monsters are coming from and destroy them(Finding and destroying the monsters = 2) You try to find the monsters but after searching for several minutes you don't find any, it appears they're all outside.
((My thinking is maybe the sorceress’s spell made a room spawn them, so destroying the room would stop making them, ever played Gauntlet? In Gauntlet there are spawners that will continue us to make enemies until destroyed))
Whether or not that works, attempt to turn all remaining monsters into plants
Cast a spell to bring all hostile demons to a parallel universe where the sorceress won, so they no longer are in this universe and they think they won so they won’t try to make their way back
Violently destroy the barricade so we can start "peaceful" negotiations(Destroying the barricade = 5) You and your crew quickly tear the barricade down.
(Whoops, I thought I’d posted already.)(5) Seeing that someone could use the painting for something illegal you quickly paint a skeleton in the background, it's standing over the money holding two assault rifles while more money rains from above it, for some reason you feel the need to call this skeleton piecewise.
Add a skeleton to that painting. Wouldn’t want anyone to use it for anything illegal, after all.
Heal myself with the energy of FUNK, then teleport to the ruins of France and sit atop the destroy Eiffel Tower, waiting for something major threat to appear on the planet.(Healing yourself with FUNK energy = 3+1 For being one with the FUNK) You use the FUNKY energy flowing everywhere to heal all your wounds.
HAU: Read the manual thoroughly, then use the acquired knowledge to repair the spaceships.
FSA: Continue colonizing Southeast Asia and Oceania.
Use the Candy Apple and my power to remove the energy that somehow returned. Then extend my own power over the world as it's goddess fairy.(Removing the returned energy = 4) Using another one of those candy gem apples remove the FUNK from the world.
Given the world has turned back to normal, have the Dinos set up a space station in America.
As well, have the Dino 5 come to this side to boost me in extending my reach over the world. [The Five Children that went through an adventure to free me from imprisonment using the 5 Aspects of Halloween.]
Ugh, I the drunk. Check the status of that stupid planet thing I was posted on before vacation. Has everything died now?(3) You quickly pull out your mini personal computer and after several minutes of drunken fumbling you manage to see that something has happened to the planet but your not sure, but you accidentally turn it off before you can get a clear picture.
Scan this new planet and see what's there, and try to communicate with the aliens.(Scanning the new planet = 6) You quickly scan the planet and you find it to have many cities and towns, but your scanning is seen as hostile by the aliens.
SEE IF I HAVE ANYTHING HE'S INTERESTED IN AND TRADE IT FOR THE INFO.(2) He tells you that he's looking for any items that might aid his group and help it to become self sufficient.
Find where this new source of FUNK came from.(4) You search around and find that it came from somewhere in Europe, then as soon as you find the source of the FUNK it suddenly disappears.
Return to the fief and tell them the news.(5) You return to the fief as quickly as possible and tell them that no matter where you search there are no more survivors to find and you worry that you and your fief might be all that's left of the world.
Continue fighting we've almost won!(Everyone fighting = 6) They kill loads of the monsters, but they also lose some of their guys.
Demons and monsters will continue to fight.(Demons defending = 1) Before they can even start to fight they get teleported to another timeline where they find the sorceress has won the war.
Open a portal back to Earth and lead my army towards the one that destroyed the FUNK there.(5) You quickly open a portal to Earth and lead your army through to find the FUNK has returned, but as soon as your army finishes going through the portal the FUNK suddenly disappears again.
Oh god the group is collapsing, try to keep it together!(6) You manage to get the group to stay together but you become to controlling and some of your people split off anyway.
Teleport to the North America and exterminate TricMagic in a barrage of ultra-powerful punches.(Teleporting to North America = 4) You quickly teleport from your perch in France to North America.
HAU: Rebuild the damage from the war with Imperium and figure out how to pilot the spaceships. When it is figured out, man the spaceships and destroy the station that TricMagic has built.
FSA: Continue colonizing Oceania, then send a expeditionary mission to China and Japan. If China and Japan have any population left, convert them to Funkist faith.
Cast a spell to heal myself and anyone who’s injured(Healing yourself = 4) You quickly cast a healing spell on yourself and heal your self back to perfect health.
Split the "Peace offerings" between my "negotiators", then take our new ship to the Space-City.(Splitting the 'Peace offerings' = 4) You and your 'negotiators' quickly and evenly split the 'peace offerings' between yourselves.
Use my Candy Apples to boost my abilities and meditate to gain more power within North America's shield.(Meditating to gain more power within North America = 2+2 For CGA) Using the power of the CGA and meditation you get even more power.
Have the Candy Magician Corps send the space station up into orbit.
Have my dinos begin colonizing the rest of America(Meaning Central, South, and Canada, along with North America. All is America.)
Put the Piecewise painting next to a computer and see what happens.(6) You place the painting next to a computer that's been in the studio since you got there and nothing happens for a bit, then suddenly Piecewise jumps out of the painting and types something on the computer, then points one of his assault rifles at you while he goes over and grabs all your money then goes back to the computer and throws it into the monitor then he grabs all the money from the painting and throws it in as well, then while still pointing the gun at you he backs into the monitor and disappears into the computer, after standing there in disbelief for a few minutes you go over to the computer and look at it, all the monitor shows is a door with the words Bone Zone above it, your not sure how to feel about any of what just happened.
Return to my death star and blow the planet up.(4) Returning to the Death Star doesn't take long as you never got off, you then give the order and the planet is quickly blown up killing all the inhabitants and leaving behind several angry spaceships that start to attack the Death Star.
Get some sleep then...(4) You return to your room and lay down, and you quickly go to sleep.
GO OUT AND SEARCH FOR THE THINGS THE GUY WANTS SO WE CAN GET HIS INFO.(Finding the supplies = 4) After much searching you find quite a few different kinds of seeds which should be what the guy was looking for.
Head to Europe and find whoever brought back the FUNK.(2) You head to Europe and find no one there capable of bringing the FUNK.
Begin to expand the fief so we can grow more crops.(2) You would expand the fief but you get distracted by dinosaurs wandering around colonizing stuff.
Celebrate the defeat of a terrible enemy, and respectfully bury our dead.(Celebrating = 3+1 For beating the enemy) You all have a massive party and it is great.
Lead my army towards whatever just removed the FUNK again.(4) You army quickly marches towards the USA through South America and when you get to the border to Mexico you meet a group of dinosaurs that are colonizing the area.
Keep the group from continuing to fall apart.(3) You weren't able to do any of that because a group of dinosaurs shows up and starts messing with your stuff so you kill them, but at least the group didn't collapse anymore.
Create a new camp far from the old one.(5) You build a new commune far from the other one and its way better than that one.
Click on the door.(3) You click on the door, it opens, and all you see behind it is darkness, you do feel a breeze that seems to be coming from the door on your computer's monitor.
Send Animals to fix our new ship while continuing to drive the Space-City towards the Habitable planet.(Animals fixing the new ship = 6) It takes a bit but they manage to fix the damage to the ship, but some of your people get hurt while working.
Fly into the air and scan the surroundings for TricMagic. When I find him, channel FUNK energy and uppercut him into the atmosphere.(Flying into the air = 4) You take a running jump and launch yourself into the air, from there you start flying around.
HAU: Send spaceships to bombard the North America with mini-nukes and kill off the dinosaurs.
FSA: Keep colonizing everything.
Sense that weird energy coming from the one who uppercuts, then use 5 Candy Gem Apples to send them to another dimension that is actively hostile to them.(Sensing the weird energy = 2) You try to sense any strange energy, but by the time you find it you've been punched in the face so hard you fly off into space, this is quite a painful experience.
After that, destroy all the hostile spaceships with my powers.
Have the Dinos continue colonization of the Americas, with some peace envoys to the humans.
Have the Dinos bring to bear the plasma guns from our home on the mutated pumpkin wildlife.
Have the Dino Scientists make and assemble another station to launch.
Ask the humans, mimics and demons if they want to live at the castle now that the sorceress is gone, or whether they’d rather it be destroyed(Asking weather your followers would like to live in the fortress or not |Heads = stay|Tails = destroy| = Heads) Its a unanimous decision to stay and claim the fortress for your own.
If they’d rather live in it, attempt repairs by refreshing the melted stone
If they’d rather continue destroying it, attempt to further destroy it by creating a plant that will break apart the remaining stone
Wake up and check the news, including the stuff about the earth-world(Checking the news = 3) You sit and watch the news for a bit, and man is it boring they just keep going on and on about that storm that didn't do anything and how it might have done something but didn't.
Huh, that didn't post? Just sail out of the system into another alien system.(2) You would leave the system but every time you try your path gets blocked by those hostile ships that want to attack you.
GET TO A DEFENSIBLE SPOT AND KILL ALL THE MONSTERS THAT SHOW UP.(Finding a defensible spot = 3) The only thing you can find is a table, so you flip it on its side so you have some cover.
Keep searching Europe he's still around there somewhere.(4) As you search around Europe for a bit you finally feel some of the FUNK energy, but it feels like its coming from America.
Go out and see what the dinosaurs are doing and why.(6-1 For diplomatic envoy) As you leave your fief you meet a group of them that were approaching your fief and find out that they are diplomats, and after talking to them for a bit you find that they've come from an alternate timeline and they've come to colonize the area and after the talk they leave on friendly terms.
Now that that is all finished lets return to the monastery.(returning to the monastery = 4) It's a rather uneventful march back to the monastery.
Ignore the dinosaurs and continue towards the one that removed the FUNK.(4) After quite a bit of marching you get to the Mexican border, just a little bit more and you'll be there.
Go out and kill and the dinosaurs.(6) They leave the commune in mass and kill every dinosaur that gets close, but the attack isn't with out losses.
Go out and kill any dinosaurs near the commune.(5) They go out and kill every dinosaur that comes near their base.
(I have updated the turn and fixed the error of my forgetfulness.)
(Also if your wondering about CABL punching you that still happened because he teleported in during the last turn, the same goes for the army of FUNK.)
Go out in the Zord and clear a path through the asteroid field for the city(4) You and your crew quickly get into the zord and pilot it towards the asteroids and punch them out of the way, it takes a bit to punch them all out of the way but when your finished the path forward is completely clear.
How many tomes are there?(How many tomes = 5) You quickly look trough the stack of books and find that there are 15 of them.
Cast a spell that gives all of my knowledge to the humans, demons, and mimics, not only current knowledge, but any knowledge I learn as well, that way when I read the tomes they all will learn what I learn. After casting the spell, begin reading the tomes, hopefully everyone else will learn as well
Attempt to use arrow keys to explore beyond the door.(4) It takes a second to get used to the controls so you smack into the wall a few time before you get through, when you finally get through you spend a minute walking down a empty hallway before you finally come to another door which when clicked on opens to reveal a town filled with skeletons wandering around doing all manor of things.
Not wondering about that, no.(Killing the last spaceship = 3) You try to smite the ship as it flies off, but you only manage to damage it some more before if flies out of view.
Kill the last of the ships, then go blow up the many many zombie pumpkins.
[Auto-action the dinos. Diplomacy, defense, space stuff, colonization.]
Use my FUNK energy to rip a hole in spacetime continuum and appear behind TricMagic, then grab him by his neck toss him directly at the Sun with all my strength.(Using the FUNK to rip a hole in the spacetime continuum to appear behind TricMagic = 4) Not wanting to be in this plane of existence long you quickly tear a hole in the spacetime continuum, where you conveniently appear behind TricMagic.
HAU: Tell the spaceships to return to the ground ASAP and get the civilians into bunkers.
FSA: Colonize India, Sakhalin, and Hawaii. Start building a naval base once Hawaii is under control.
Ram the hostile ships with my big ship.(3+1 For Death Star) You order your crew to plow through the hostile ships which they do, this action completely destroys all the hostiles before they could react.
This is an out rage everyone on that planet should be dying! Go back to the beach and start assembling the Burninator, so I can Burninate all the earthlings!(4) It turns out the assembly is quite easy and doesn't take you long at all to have it completely assembled and ready to go.
GET BACK TO THE WEIRD HELL-WIZARD AND GIVE HIM THE STUFF SO HE'LL TELL US HOW TO GET BACK TO EARTH.(2) As you start to head back to the settlement you get attacked by a group of monsters that were attracted by the sound of you fighting the last group of them.
Start flying towards the source of the FUNK.(5) You quickly fly towards the source, and find two people flying in the air, one grabs and throws the other a few feet away right as you arrive, neither one has seen you yet.
Trade with the dinosaurs for some supplies that'll aid the fief.(4) After some discussions you arrange trading between your fief and the dinosaurs.
Try and talk to them and get them to leave our monastery.(6) With the hostility from both sides all that is really accomplished is the dinosaurs give the monastery back and they leave.
Keep going towards the one that removed the FUNK.(3) Its slow going with an army marching on foot, you also discover the one you seek is flying around it the upper atmosphere.
Go out and kill and the dinosaurs.(3) They manage to kill a few and lose a few as well.
Keep killing any dinosaur that get near the commune.(1) A whole bunch of your people get killed and you kill no one.
Initiate epic final battle between gods. Use CGA as needed to win.
[auto-dinos]
Create tens of thousands tiny balls of FUNK energy around me. When TricMagic will go for an attack on me, the FUNK energy balls retaliate and start destroying his eyeballs, leaving him blind and attacking nothing in particular.
Don't forget to evade the attack, though.
HAU: Repair the spaceships and prepare the Navy.
FSA: Draft at least 200K marines from the colonies and Australia itself and prepare the naval invasion of North America. The goal is to disable the shields at any costs.
(Using a CGA to create a magical shield = 2+2 CGA) Using the power of the CGA you make a shield to protect yourself with.Initiate epic final battle between gods. Use CGA as needed to win.
[auto-dinos]
Double down on the EPIC in Epic Battle between gods. Only one will survive.
How many of the tomes are advanced? Read the tomes I can understand, after reading one, pass it around, continue this process until all of my followers who want to have read the tomes(How many advanced tomes = 3) There are four of them.
Scan the planet for intelligent life(4) After a quick scan of the planet you find that it has intelligent life on it, they seem to be an industrial age civilization.
Create tens of thousands tiny balls of FUNK energy around me. When TricMagic will go for an attack on me, the FUNK energy balls retaliate and start destroying his eyeballs, leaving him blind and attacking nothing in particular.(Creating lots of tiny balls of FUNK = 3) Try as you might you can only manage to create several hundred of them.
Don't forget to evade the attack, though.
HAU: Repair the spaceships and prepare the Navy.
FSA: Draft at least 200K marines from the colonies and Australia itself and prepare the naval invasion of North America. The goal is to disable the shields at any costs.
Bump into all the walls in search of secret doors.(Finding secret doors = 4) After spending several minutes walking up and down the street bumping into every wall you can find, you walk into an alley where you find a large poster which after spending some time bumping into the alleys walls you finally bump into the poster which gives way and you find yourself in a large warehouse looking place with stacks of crates everywhere.
WHOOOOPS. SORRY GM.(Awakening from absent mindedness = 3) You only manage to partly wake from your absent mindedness.
AWAKEN FROM ASBENT-MINDED TRANCE AND FIRE WARNING SHOT TO SCARE OFF MONSTERS
IF THEY KEEP COMING, FIRE SECOND SHOT INTO NEAREST. THEN SWITCH TO BIG-ASS SWORD AND GREAT CLEAVE THE LOT OF 'EM
Go find another alien system.(3) You steer the Death Star towards another system, and after a short flight you find your self at the new system, but this one seems to be devoid of life.
It is time, burninate the planet!(Hitting the planet = 5) You fire the Burninator and it sends forth a beam of pure burnination straight towards the planet.
Knock the FUNK creature out of the sky.(6) You quickly rush the FUNK creature and punch it out of the sky, but it grabs you and drags you down with it to the ground where you both slam into the ground.
Keep everything running in the fief.(6) Everything is going fine in the fief until someone gets sick, but its only a mild cold.
Go back to training our fighting skills.(5) Your monks get even better at fighting, and your now all master fighters.
Have the army of FUNK wait while I fly up and kick the ass of whoever removed the FUNK.(Flying up there = 5) You quickly fly up into the sky.
Go out and kill and the dinosaurs.(5) They kill loads of them.
Keep killing any dinosaur that get near the commune.(6) They go out and kill lots of dinosaurs but they loses a few guys in the process.
Read 3 more times and pass them around to followers too(Reading and passing around = 4) You read some more of the books and pass them around.
Contact a random nation offer destruction of enemies or technology for plants and animals (Aka: stuff beyond corn we can plant and a more ethical meat source for the carnivores)(Contacting a random nation = 6) You try to contact only one nation but you accidentally contact them all at the same time.
Lure TricMagic into Burninator's range by relentlessly throwing FUNK energy daggers at him, forcing him to defend and deflect the daggers.(Luring Tricmagic into Burninator's range by throwing daggers = 3) You throw loads of FUNK energy daggers at him but he blocks most of them with his shield, and the ones do hit on do superficial damage and he barely goes anywhere near the beam.
If any FUNK energy daggers hit me in the process, just absorb them.
HAU: Send in the rocket cruisers to bombard the dinosaurs from the shores of America and assist the Marines.
FSA: Commence Operation "Shieldbreaker" and destroy the force shield installations, even if they're not working now.
Continue Actions. Delete the enemy's forces from existence using CGA.(Defending self with magical shield = 4) Using the shield you block every thing CABL throws at you.
Auto-dinos, prepare to evacuate. and get the shield generator going again.
Raid the crates for Piecewise's game ideas.(4) You begin rapidly clicking on crates to smash them open, and after smashing several of them you check your inventory and find that you have grabbed what you think are most of the tables Piecewise uses to generate loot and other items in his games, and the instructions to several of his most recent games and to some you haven't heard of, you also find some weird stuff such as skeleton porn and some items your not sure if you should be touching with your bare hands.
Get back to the Weird Hell-Wizard and give him the seeds and get the info on how to get back to Earth.(Getting back to the camp = 6) On the way back to the camp you cut your leg on some broken glass but other than that it was an uneventful trip.
Scan the planets to see if they could support life.(4) Your scans show that only one of the planets is capable of supporting life, and that it is currently the at the equivalent of the Jurassic period.
Continue the Burnination!(Does it hit the planet = 3) It just barely hits the planet this time around.
Keep this FUNK thing away from the other fight.(3) You punch him a few times but don't do that much damage to him.
Keep everything running in the fief.(3) Nothing is really happening in the fief right now its kind of boring.
Keep training our fighting skills.(5) You and your men continue to train and become even better fights.
Who the fuck is this guy, looks like he wants his ass kicked!(4) You quickly headbutt him as hard as you can.
Go out and kill and the dinosaurs.(3) They only kill a few.
Keep killing any dinosaur that get near the commune.(1) They all get killed off by TricMagic's action.
Make the trade with the planet nations(5) You spend quite a while printing the information and creating booklets since you realized that they have no computers to read the info, then you send down a small ship to each nation and deliver the information packets and in exchange they give your people quite a bit of their local currency.
Lure TricMagic into attacking me by taunting him and dropping my defenses, then when he comes close, do a supercharged FUNK energy kick into his ribs and send him flying directly into the Burninator.(Taunting TricMagic = 3) You make a few Yo Mama jokes.
Breaching his shield is not necessary to me as long as TricMagic gets flung into the Burninator.
FSA & HAU: Quickly develop shield generators of our own to protect Australia and/or Africa from being scorched by the Burninator.
Military forces: destroy the shield generators at all costs.
Track down a computer in this world and jump my avatar inside with all the loot.(Finding another computer = 5) It doesn't take long to find a computer in Piecewise's secret lair.
Focus all my power and CGAs on this foe's complete annihilation. What possessed me to attack pumpkins.((You said to attack the enemies so I assumed that since both CABL's forces and the pumpkin zombies are attacking your people that you would attack both.))
Use spells to cause cracks in the fortress’s stones to seal themselves, the stone growing into place, like a cut healing itself(3+1 For magic) Using your magical powers you heal the fortress's wounds, returning it to a like new state.
Appear in my afterlife French Puppet state and assume immediate control.(5) You appear before your people in the after life and they immediately accept you as the ruler again, they had been hoping you would return to them especially the puppers that were ruling the afterlife.
GET THE INFO ON HOW TO GET BACK TO THE BLOODSPORTS DIMENSION.(2) It turns out the reason they haven't gone back there themselves is because it is a perilous journey involving crossing across the city and a damaged bridge and into the woods, then once in the woods you have to find a well and jump into it.
Scan the planet with life and see what and how many minerals are on it.(What kind of minerals = 6) It has all know minerals available on it.
Find new target and Burninate it.(Does it hit the planet = 4) And its a direct hit on the planet.
use powers to burn this man to death.(3) You punch him in the face as hard as possible.
Keep everything running in the fief.(4) Everything is running normally in the fief.
Keep training our fighting skills.(1) It turns out you can improve your skills no more.
Hurry up and kill this guy.(2) You try to punch him but you miss and he punches your face.
Go out and kill and the dinosaurs.(6) They kill loads of them but also lose some guys.
I don't even know this idiot's name. What sort of power is forcing me to waste my resources!(Making a costume of you in a healthy state = 5) You just so happen to have all the things needed to create said costume on your person, and you create it in record time.
Make a costume with my power of me in a perfectly healthy state, then wear that. I've not used that power in this universe yet.
Then kill him with everything I have.
He should be dead now, but why does this foe translate to these foes? Instead I've wasted my entire advantage killing pumpkin zombies somehow. Kinda annoying that this guy just comes and punches me when I don't know them IC.
Nothing on this game, just IC frustration from her.
Buy the plants and animals so we can create more farms and have more food than corn here.(Buying plants = 3) Since they haven't had time to plant the plants you gave them they can only offer some of the plants they have recently harvested and they give you a grain similar to wheat, and some tubers similar to potatoes, and some root vegetables similar to carrots and onions.
"Yeah, I'm back, no big deal."(3) After all that has happened in the world since you left apparently there aren't very many people left that are loyal enough for you to contact, out of all the people in the Middle East you only manage to contact a little over five thousand.
Being dead has caused me to realize that I must use more schemes. Contact telepathically any remains of my followers in the Middle East, and reorganize them.
"You are a worthy opponent, but in the end, it is I who emerged victorious! I shall feast upon you!"(Dashing towards TricMagic = 5) TricMagic starts creating something so you use this as an opportunity to charge him, and right as you get to him he seems to be putting on new clothing for some reason.
Dash at TricMagic and knock him out, unconscious and out of Burninator's range. After that, rip his carotid artery out and suck the blood out, healing myself.
FSA & HAU: Use those FUNK energy cells as an alternative energy source for the shields, that CABL conveniently created in his spare time.
Roll to Dodge.(5) You flail around until you get out of his grip, you then grab the keyboard from the desk nearby and smack Piecewise across the
Begin casting a spell that causes people outside the fortress to see an empty area, a mirage. The intent is to hopefully deter invaders and give us time to build.(Casting an illusion of a empty area over the fortress = 5) You quickly cast your illusion over the fortress so now anyone not inside it will see an empty space where the fortress stands.
Ask my followers if the fortress has enough room for them, and if any of them would like more room. If any would like more room than the fortress offers, cast spells to form the earth around the fortress into new buildings.
We have a fortress, why not create a town, too? If the followers want, of course.
GET DRUNK, KILL EVERYTHING OR DIE TRYING!(Getting drunk = 4) You quickly gather all the alcohol in your house, drink it all and get shit faced.
WELL I GUESS I BETTER START WALKING TO THAT BRIDGE.(3) You try get to the bridge but it turns out its further away than it sounded like it was in the story.
Prepare the ships lets colonize this thing.(5) Your people gather all the necessary supplies into the smaller ships and do other prep needed to prepare for building a colony.
Continue the brunination!(Do you hit the planet = 4) You fire the beam towards the planet and again it hits.
Figure out what destroyed the monastery and killed our people.(6) They quickly realize that it came from a beam from space, but they have no way to reach the source of the beam.
Our leader is dead there is no longer a reason to say, open a portal back to the FUNKIVERSE.(3) After quite a bit of channeling they only manage to make a small portal, way to small for them to fit through.
Keep killing dinosaurs as they were the cause of all of this.(4) They kill loads of dinosaurs.
Rip the costume off TricMagic, then dash away and don it on myself. Once I put it on, fly over to the Burninator and when it'll charge itself up, use FUNK energy to give me temporary superstrength to lift it and point the beam at TricMagic.
FSA: Build underground bunkers and send every civilian in there, and also organize a colonial evacuation program, before Asia gets hit by the Burninator.
HAU: Quickly build a few more shield generators.
"Hey, totally worth it. I appreciate all of you sticking with me. Now let's cause some chaos"(Influencing a coup with the Monks = 6) They get found out and killed.
Send a telepathic wave over the entire planet, influencing every faction and every organization ((except my followers))) to make a coup at the same time.
"I also need a report for any important recent event that may benefit us"
Rip the costume off TricMagic, then dash away and don it on myself. Once I put it on, fly over to the Burninator and when it'll charge itself up, use FUNK energy to give me temporary superstrength to lift it and point the beam at TricMagic.(Ripping the costume off = 4) You quickly pull the costume of of TricMagic and grab the parts he hadn't put on yet and let go of his unconscious body which starts falling to the ground.
FSA: Build underground bunkers and send every civilian in there, and also organize a colonial evacuation program, before Asia gets hit by the Burninator.
HAU: Quickly build a few more shield generators.
Become the costume itself and take over CABL entirely. You become what you wear, and what you wear is me, therefore you do not exist. Spend my remaining 2 CGA on this.(Becoming the costume and taking over CABL = 4+1 From CGA) You use the last of your CGAs to become the costume which CABL quickly puts on which magically turns him into you and your now at full health, but it seems he didn't completely die and he seems to be trapped in your mind.
...Shields, bunker's preventing burnination!? THAT IS IT!(Setting the Burninator to auto = 5) You flip the switch and activate the Auto Burnination Mode.
Put the Burninator on auto-fire as I don....MY TROGDOR COSTUME
When you wanna do something you do it yourself!
Continue building more buildings(5) You continue to magically build more buildings, and when you finish you find that you now have housing for all of your followers.
Make farms for our new plants and non-sapient animals(5) Your people quickly get the new plants into the fields to reduce the amount of corn they have to eat, they also build some pens for the new animals.
Enter the mansion.(5) You quickly run up the driveway and throw yourself through the front door, where your greeted by... nothing no body seems to be home and it doesn't seem like they've been home in a long time as it's covered in cobwebs and dust.
Wake up I must go out and kill!(3) You just barely manage to wake up but you have one hell of a hang over.
KEEP WALKING TOWARDS THE BRIDGE.(3) You and your buddy continue to walk but it seems to be just far as hell away from where you started as your still not there yet.
Have the ships get on that planet and start building a secure perimeter around the base camp.(Ships getting on the planet = 3) They just barely make it through the atmosphere and the ships end up damaged.
See if anyone amongst our group knows how to build a spacecraft.(6)Only one guy knew how to spacecraft, but he was one of the traitors and was killed.
Continue the ritual until the portal is big enough for us to go through.(2) No mater what they do they can't make portal bigger.
Keep killing dinosaurs as they were the cause of all of this.(2) They sit around and do nothing.
Proceed to utterly eliminate all of that guy's creations, now that he is no more.
I'll turn all of it to candy in a single wave of my power.
No more fighting.
((Questions: What continent is my fortress on? Does my character know about the burninator?))((It is in whats left of the US, and yes you know about the Burninator or at least the beam it is burning everything with.))
Now that we have decent food.it's time to party to celebrate our glorious space-city/pirate-harbour(5) It takes a bit to get everything set up and when the prep is finished you invite the entire city, and throw the biggest party since the world ended.
Proceed to utterly eliminate all of that guy's creations, now that he is no more.(Destroying CABL's stuff = 2) You try to destroy whats left of CABLs stuff but something prevents it, and suddenly you feel that you have become one with the FUNK and an avatar of FUNK, you also feel that all of his subjects have been given to you and that somehow you can't harm anyone of the Funkist faith.
I'll turn all of it to candy in a single wave of my power.
No more fighting.
"Okay, you've defeated me, but you'll *not* defeat the FUNK itself!"(Melding with TricMagic's mind and giving him your avatar of FUNK powers = 5) Your mind melds with TricMagic's mind and give him your powers and you also grant him your position as avatar of FUNK.
Meld with TricMagic's mind, giving him my avatar of FUNK powers. All my subjects will be transferred and linked mentally to him, but he will be unable to harm any creature that follows the Funkist faith, consciously or not.
HAU: Use a combination of secret police and death squads to weed out any secret anti-Funkist coup members.
FSA: Continue the colonial evacuation program.
Funk Army: Transfer the troops to the Middle East to assist weeding out the anti-coup action.
Try casting a spell that will, if the burning beam hits our fortress or near it, it gets reflected at whatever shot it((I'm guessing that by this point you would have see at least one of them eat something, so yes.))
Start catching animals so the mimics and demons don’t starve
((Do I know whether demons need food?))
You know, this might be an OK place. Search the mansion for threats.(2) You start walking down the hall towards the first door, but as soon as you step on the rug that's on the floor in front of you, you fall down a trap door, after sliding down a ramp for what feels like several minutes you land in a dark damp room that seems to be filled with old mildew covered boxes.
As TROGDOR, fly over to Earth and begin BURNINATION. Gorge my extra candy to boost my invincible might even further!(Flying over to the Earth = 3+1 For TROGDOR) It takes a few minutes to fly all the way to Earth.
BEHOLD THE SONG OF YOUR WORLD'S END
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjAmB6vDGmI
Have all the people I contacted go under ground to avoid potential detection, then start trying to expand the group.(Middle East going underground = 6) While most of them manage to hide away from people that might wish harm on them a few get caught and killed.
The only way to fix a hangover is to drink, go forth and find booze to drown my hangover in!(5) You quickly grab your emergency vodka, yell "HANGOVER BE GONE!", and chug it, then once your hangover has been vanquished you get back to whatever it was you were going to do.
KEEP HEADING TOWARDS THIS STUPID BRIDGE.(6) After more walking you finally find yourself at the bridge, but there's a problem it appears that the bridge is home to a large group of the mutated monsters and the only way over the bridge is through them.
Use some of the Death Star's smaller lasers to burn all hostile creatures near where we're going to build the base.(3+1 For Death Star) Using one of the stations smaller lasers you quickly burn any hostile creature to death.
If no one knows how to build one we shall find one and take it.(1) Turns out no one whats to go to space so you give up and go back to whatever it is you guys were doing before all of this.
keep messing with the portal until it is big enough for us to go through.(6) The portal is quickly increased in size so that the entire army can fit through at once, but something goes wrong and instead of going to the FUNKIVERSE they instead go to the horrible sharp pointy things and pain, and they can't escape as the portal closes behind them.
Keep killing dinosaurs as they were the cause of all of this.(5) They kill loads of dinosaurs.
...
Right. Just, get the fighting to stop and restore North America with my powers. Start up a proper peace treaty between everyone under my control too..(Stopping the fighting = 6) Using your powers of DIPLOMACY you manage to convince the pumpkin zombies and your dinos to stop fighting, this doesn't affect the monks that just showed up and started attacking the pumpkin zombies, but at least they aren't fighting your people anymore.
Why do I have so much trouble with super-powerful entities anyway.
And get the dinos to get the shield generators up and running, and fixed. Plus whatever other actions they are doing.
FUNK Faith should start worshiping me and granting me CABL's old powers. Given that they are now dead/absorbed..
Also combine my followers Faith and the FUNK Faith in a new church of the FUNKY CANDY FAIRY Faith. Let it be known as a new era.
If it isn't obvious, also take over all of CABL's old NPC faction actions onto me. They are dead at this point. For some reason I feel like inducing a catastrophic failure in whatever is trying to destroy the planet. Do that from afar as I work on other stuff.
Advice was given!..."I might be dead physically, but I live on as a voice in your head. From now on, consider me your utmost trustful advisor. *ahem* My advice is to destroy that imbecile and his planet-burning murdertoy."
Attempt to teleport the fortress, my followers, and I to Japan(Teleporting the fortress to Japan = 4) Using one of the many spells you've learned recently you move the entire fortress to somewhere in Japan.
If the spell works, try to catch animals for my followers
If it doesn’t, cast a spell to start reversing the burnt continent to a no longer burnt state
Look into the boxes.(5) You spend several minutes digging through the boxes and find several useful items, a revolver and ammo, a small shovel, a handful of doubloons, and fire helmet, everything else was a bunch of moldy old crap.
Begin Burnination at the Funky States of Australia. They're the funk-lovers with no damage after all!(Burninating Australia = 4) You quickly fly in and start burninating all the peasants and their thatched-roofed cottages, killing hundreds in the process.
Keep the party going.(5) Your people keep partying until the sun comes up, and then they party some more.
Have my revolutionaries continue to expand their groups.(Middle East expanding = 3) They only manage to get a few more members.
With the power of booze I shall conquer the world, but first I must take over a town.(1) You start heading towards where the town should be, but you realize your deep in the woods and you have no idea were your at.
SCREW THIS BRIDGE AND THOSE MONSTERS, THROW MY SWORD LIKE A BOOMERANG AND KILL ALL THE MONSTERS ON THE BRIDGE!(Throwing the sword = 4) You quickly unsheathe the big ass sword and throw it like one would throw a boomerang.
Send another ship down to start a colony on the planet.(6) They land safely but the ship ran out of fuel on the way there so they're stuck, after that realization they get to work building the colony.
Well shit if we can't go to space we'll just go out and kill the hostile pumpkin zombies.(3) They only kill a few.
Keep killing dinosaurs as they were the cause of all of this.(3) They kill no one do to DIPLOMACY.
CONTINUE TO BURNINATE!
Meanwhile the Burninator activates its anti-magic defenses to null any magical effects on it.SPACENOID TECH RULES!
((I'm just going to mention it now rather than later, I'll be keeping this thing going until some time after Halloween, then after the game is a little over a year old I'll drag it behind the barn and drown it in a puddle.))
...
Meditate to increase my power further. (+1 to actions involving magic/divinity/faith/personal power.)(Meditating to increase power = 4) You find a quiet place to sit and meditate for a bit, and after that bit of meditation you feel that your power has increased somewhat.
Dino Actions
FUNK Actions.
Both sides are to form a coalition destroy the one causing all the damage to the planet with the burniater. And to set up shields across every part of the planet to protect from it.
CONTINUE TO BURNINATE!(Continuing the burnination = 5) You burninate dozens more people in Australia, but while you were busy killing some of the others started hitting you with all kinds of crap, it didn't do much damage but it still hurt.
Meanwhile the Burninator activates its anti-magic defenses to null any magical effects on it.SPACENOID TECH RULES!
((It's one of the most long-running Minimalist RTD, I think. The longest one is Hero Civil War.))Words said....
"Wise choice, my master, but I'm gonna mention that I'll not give you any tactical advice. You've defeated me, and that makes me unworthy when it comes to combat advise.""
Take the gun, load it, and explore the rest of the house.(5) You quickly load the gun and begin exploring the house, and after wandering around for a while you run into no more traps and find that your completely alone, and as for the contents of the house you saw swords, shields, armour, antiques, jewelry, and a safe that might be filled with money, on your walk about.
Try casting spells that lure animals to the fortress(2) After trying for a bit you find that you don't know a spell capable of luring animals, maybe one of your books has such a spell.
Have them continue to gather followers.(Middle East expanding = 2) They can't seem to find anyone to join their group.
Find my way back to a road, then find a town to take over.(Getting back to a road = 6) After wandering around for a long time you finally find the road, but that's not the only thing you found as you seem to have been spotted by a group of angry pumpkin zombies.
GO RETRIEVE MY SWORD, THEN MAKE MY WAY THROUGH THOSE WOODS AND INTO THAT WELL!(Getting the sword = 6) You spend a few minuets pulling the sword from the beam and you manage to get it free, but you get smacked in the face with it.
Have my people repair their ship and continue to colonize the planet.(Repairing the ship = 2) It turns out they lack the stuff to fix the ship.
Take a walk around the city and see if there is anything anyone needs.(6) You walk around for a bit and after asking people you find out that you need more water as all the new crops are taking up the water.
Keep killing the mutated pumpkin things.(5) They kill loads of them.
Who are these monks and why do they want to die so bad?(2) They don't kill anyone.
Look for a supply of food and water here.(Finding food = 2) You search through the kitchen only to find empty cupboards and rotted stuff that might have been food at one point.
Ah, foolish peasants! Do they not know that TROGDOR is invincible? Burninate them and their country!(You Burninating them = 4) You burninate all the peasants that think they can harm you, but while you burn them other sneakier ones attack and harm you somewhat.
look through the spell books for any spells that can be used for luring animals(3) You spend quite a while digging through all the books for you to finally find a spell that might do what you want, but you can't really focus on it enough to learn it right now.
Use my great powers to cause the TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR to explode. Preferably in their face as they use it.(Causing the Burninator to explode = 4) Your first action is to get rid of that annoying laser thing that's burning the planet, so you do so and you send out a beam of some kind and you feel that somewhere out in space a the beam explodes, you also feel that a resort explodes for some reason.
Time to fight the monster in Australia and put it down for good.
Dino Actions
FUNK Actions.
Have them continue to set up shields across every part of the planet to protect from it. And the coalition is to attack with all they have. No need for plans with me there to help.
"Before I was defeated, I was getting reports that the former God-Emperor of Mankind, Kakaluncha, is planning a coup to return himself to power. I suggest to deal with that, once the Burninator is dealt with."Advice given.
Its time for a little sabotage to get the coup started.(Middle East sabotaging = 5) They blow up several major power plants in the region.
Chug some booze and kill all the pumpkin things!(3) You quickly down some booze and charge into the crowd where your only able to kill a few of the creatures, they seem to be keeping their distance from you.
ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT IF THE GUY WAS TELLING THE TRUTH IS TO JUMP IN, AND MAKE SURE MY BUDDY COMES WITH.(5) You and your buddy quickly jump into the well, and after falling for what seems like hours you wake up in the parking lot near the arena you where the tailgate was, but it's night time now and the tailgaters have long since left, you also quickly look around and you find that your buddy has also come along with you.
Send some more ships to the plane to colonize it.(5) You send several more ships down to the planet without any probables and they keep expanding the colony.
See if we can buy some water from the planet with some of the money we got from them.(6) They sell you plenty of water so you send a ship down to get it, but it is expensive.
Keep killing the mutated pumpkin things.(5) They kill loads of them.
Keep killing the monks.(1) They all get killed off.
Kill the dragon-thing with my magical powers from afar.(Casting long range spells at the dragon = 5) Turns out you are able to hit him from where you are.
Dino Actions
FUNK Actions.
Have my allies assist by sacrificing all the candy they can find to me.
This is getting annoying, but no matter. My TROG-METER is still full of the souls of dead peasants. Now, Continue burnination!(Continuing the Burnination = 5) You continue to Burninate the peasants around you, especially the ones that keep attacking you.
Also put up a fire-shield that will burn up any attack that comes close.
"Kakaluncha has already begun his preparations for the coup! I suggest to order the Funkists and the dinosaurs to enter maximum security mode and punish the dissidents!"He doesn't seem to be listening to your advice.
Search outside the house for more food.(4) After a bit of searching around you find several apple trees growing behind the house, so you grab several of them.
Try to learn the spell then cast it.(Learning the spell = 4) You quickly learn the spell.
Have everyone continue to sabotage their areas infrastructure, and have them start producing Anti-TricMagic propaganda.(Middle East sabotaging = 6) They set out and attack and destroy the radio towers, but a few of them get caught and killed.
Keep killing those weird mutant things.(5) You carve a path of destruction through the horde of pumpkin zombies.
LETS CRACK OPEN A BEER TO CELEBRATE ESCAPING THAT PLACE, THEN LETS FIND A PLACE TO CRASH FOR THE NIGHT.(Drinking a beer in celebration = 5) You and your buddy both drink a beer to celebrate escaping that weird place.
Radio them and find out how the colonization is going.(5) They tell you that everything is going great since the hostile animals are dead, they are apparently clearing the land for farming and using the trees to build more housing.
Make sure the water goes where needed, and find out if what we bought is enough.(Does it go where its needed = 5) You make sure the water goes to the plants that need it most.
Keep killing the mutated pumpkin things.(1) They get killed off by the pumpkin zombies.
Keep killing the monks.(2) They don't kill anyone.
Release the souls trapped to remove the power the weapon has. Kill the dragon-thing with my magical powers from afar.((There's a high chance I forgot about your character being a girl.))
Dino Actions
FUNK Actions.
Have my allies assist by sacrificing all the candy they can find to me. Even more power to kill the dragon
Have the Funkists and the Dinos enter maximum security mode and punish the dissident splinter group of the FUNK Faith."
[To the post below the below post, my character is a girl, not a boy. Given how things worked out with vague orders, I expect that to go weirdly. Unless you are targeting the dead.]
Oh, wise guy HUH? Use my vauge psychic powers I still have to disorient him as I burninate...IN HIS DIRECTION!(Using vague psychic powers to disorientate him = 5) You use your superior vague psychic powers to disorientate him from a distance, but it seems you'll have to wait for it to take affect on him.
Begin fence building to keep the animals from wandering off(3+1 For followers) You and your followers quickly build a fence around the fort to keep the animals nearby.
No advice this turn.Guess he's not ignoring it just slow to get it.
I think its time for everyone to lay low for a bit after all that sabotage and start working on propaganda to be passed around once the heat dies down.(Middle East making propaganda = 3) They only make a small amount propaganda.
Keep killing them.(2) You get ready to go back on the war path but you find that the survivors have all run away.
Since I've got food, water, shelter, and I'm a few realities down the rabbit hole, this seems like a good place to wait out the rest of the apocalypse. Become an NPC.(5) You clean up one of the rooms in the mansion and declare it your home away from the apocalypse and your new permanent home, you feel safer here than anywhere else you've lived for quite a while.
(I hope you don't take that personally, it just seems like a realistic place to end my storyline.)
GO TO THE HOTEL, GET A ROOM, AND GO TO SLEEP.(6) You both head to the hotel and get a room, but the room only has one bed and since your buddy paid for it you decide to sleep on the floor.
Send down another ship with more cats to colonize.(3) After all the failures this mission has had very few cats want to go to the planet, so you only end up sending a few.
Make arrangements with the planet to buy more water.(4) You make the arrangements and they sell you even more water, which seems to fill everything you needed.
Keep killing the mutated pumpkin things.(2) They don't do anything.
Keep killing the monks.(4) They kill quite a few of them.
Sink down into the oceans and meditate to improve my power even further.(Sinking down into the ocean = 5) You quickly fly out over the ocean and pick a spot far from land and let yourself drop down, after several minutes of sinking you finally hit the bottom.
Dino Actions
Funk Actions
Continue the Burnination of this continent!(4) You continue the Burnination of all these peasants that think they can harm you, and you burn thousands of them and their thatched rood cottages.
Cast the spell again to attract more animals to the pen.(3) You cast the spell again and attract a few animals, but they don't seem willing to get into the pen.
You might want to crack down on the revolutionaries yourself.Randomly chosen advice given.
continue to stay in hiding and make more propaganda.(Middle East making propaganda = 6) They make so much propaganda that one of hem dies when a stack of it fall on him.
Chase after them and kill them!(Chasing after them = 6) You spend several minutes chasing after them during the case you trip and hurt your face, but you quickly recover and resume until you've finally caught up to them.
Look around the mansion and fix anything that needs fixing.(3) After searching around for several minutes you find several windows that are broken and in need of fixing.
KEEP SLEEPING.(4) You continue to sleep a deep sound sleep.
Send some supplies and see if that improves the situation in the colony.(Sending the supplies = 4) You have a massive box of supplies prepared and dropped from the Death Star.
Now that the water is taken care of go around the city again and see if there is anything else needed.(4) You walk around the city again and ask everyone you meet if they need anything, and by the time your finished you find that everyone seems to be happy with their lives in the space city.
Keep killing the mutated pumpkin things.(3) They manage to kill only a few.
Keep killing the monks.(5) They kill loads.
Center myself, then take the ocean around me, compress it to a small size, and hit the dragon really really hard from here. The resulting tsunami from impact should cause quite a bit of damage.(Compressing all the ocean around you into a small ball = 6) Using your power you compress all the water around you into the smallest ball you can, but it was unavoidable that in the process of doing this you killed millions of fish.
All evacuate from Australia.
Dino Actions
FUNK Actions
Create the biggest fire of BURNINATION to burn the entire continent at once.(Getting a massive fire going = 4) You use all the power you can muster and blow out the biggest flame you've ever seen.
Get some of my people help me to catch the animals and put them into the pens.(6) After quite a bit of running around and several injuries you and your people finally manage to get the animals in the pen.
Are you sure all this mediation is helping?Randomly made question asked.
Its time to start training to become better sabetures.(Middle East training = 4) They complete the training with no problems.
Use my drunken powers to figure out where these things came from and head there!(3) Using the power of drunkenness you get a vague idea of where these creatures live.
Look for stuff to cover the broken windows with.(4) After digging around you find some boards in a spare room you can use to cover the broken windows.
MORE SLEEPING.(4) You continue to sleep soundly.
Try to find out how to improve things in the colony.(2) Your not sure how to improve the colony, and your starting to think the colony on this planet is a bad idea.
Go relax for a bit.(4) You go back to your office and sit in your chair and lay back for a bit.
Keep killing the mutated pumpkin things.(2) They can't find anyone to kill.
Keep killing the monks.(6) They kill loads of them but also lose a few of their own.
Flashbacks to being trapped by some freak tyrant being that turned up out of nowhere.
Fools...To think you can slay the IMMORTAL?!
Activate my Trump-card, my final play before the end of the game. My FIERY RAGE!
REJUVENATE AND BURN THIS WORLD, FOR IT HAS SCORNED ME SO!
This is It! Use my power to turn the Continent of Australia into a dense ball, compress it with said dragon being crushed, twist it so the trapped dragon pieces are on the bottom, then crush the dragon between Australia and the continental plate!(using your power to crush Australia into a ball with the dragon inside = 6) Using your powers you lift the continent of Australia up and fold it over several times then crush the whats left into a ball.
All Prepare for Earthquakes, Tsunamis, and Hurricanes!
Dino Actions
Funk Actions
No kill like overkill.
"What a waste of resources and loyal servants... I just hope you know what you're doing, with your plan to crush the dragon with the now-devastated Australian continent..."It turns out that not that many people died from that somehow.
Fools...To think you can slay the IMMORTAL?!(Activating your trump-card of FIERY RAGE = 4) You become ENRAGED at all this bullshit.
Activate my Trump-card, my final play before the end of the game. My FIERY RAGE!
REJUVENATE AND BURN THIS WORLD, FOR IT HAS SCORNED ME SO!
Go around the fortress and see if my followers need anything.(Seeing if your people need stuff = 3) You go around the fortress and see if there is anything anyone needs, and you find out they want to build a well to make getting water easier and they want to set up some kind of power generation.
Continue the training as there is much to learn about the art of sabotage(Middle East training = 5) They continue to advance through their training.
Use the power of drunkenness to run to their base and kill them all!(Using the power of drunkenness to get to their base = 3) You start drunkenly stumbling towards where that base should be and you only get part way there.
Go cover up the windows.(4) You gather all the boards and cover up all the broken windows in record time.
CONTINUE TO SLEEP.(6) You start having nightmares about being stabbed by clowns.
It seems like the colony is a failure lets gather our people and try to find a better planet.(Gathering up your people = 4) You quickly send down a ship to gather all of your surviving people and supplies and take them off this god forsaken planet.
Take a nap for a bit.(3) You try to sleep but you can't, maybe there's something that needs done that isn't.
Keep killing the mutated pumpkin things.(Killing = 2) They don't kill anyone.
Keep killing the monks.(Killing = 1) They all get killed.
Use my powers to extend the shield generators to block the brunt of the incoming waves.
As well, transfer the kinetic energy of the plates to the shields, converting it in the process to power them.
This result should stop Earth from blowing up.
Dinos and Funkists are to build as many capacitors as they can and add them to the sheilds. I'll channel most of the excess so they don't fail, but it is still a lot of energy.
What do you know, sudden overkill actually worked for me this time rather than against me.
The ULTRA OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN returns! Open the door, take my stuff out of the suitcase and get ready for the spooks.
The ULTRA OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN returns! Open the door, take my stuff out of the suitcase and get ready for the spooks.(Returning = 3) After finally defeating the spell keeping you away from this dimension you return just in time for Halloween... Wait a minute you quickly check your calendar and find that its November second, that doesn't seem right you could have sworn its been longer than that but you guess the calendar must be right.
(Using powers to extend the shield generators so they'll block incoming waves = 4) Using your powers you manipulate the shield generators and move them to where they'll block the incoming waves.Use my powers to extend the shield generators to block the brunt of the incoming waves.
As well, transfer the kinetic energy of the plates to the shields, converting it in the process to power them.
This result should stop Earth from blowing up.
Dinos and Funkists are to build as many capacitors as they can and add them to the sheilds. I'll channel most of the excess so they don't fail, but it is still a lot of energy.
What do you know, sudden overkill actually worked for me this time rather than against me.The ULTRA OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN returns! Open the door, take my stuff out of the suitcase and get ready for the spooks.K... Addition, Dump all the excess energy leftover that would destroy the planet into this new Deity so that it explodes.
You're a bit late given this game is almost over. Come back next year.
"*sigh* And to think of it, I've simply wanted to create a paradise on this planet... Whatever, there's no point to my existence anymore."(4) You disconnect yourself from your remaining senses, fall backwards into oblivion and fade away.
Fade away from the consciousness of TricMagic and into nothingness.
WAKE UP(Waking up = 4) You shake yourself awake.
LOOK AROUND
REALISE IT'S ALMOST HALLOWEEN
ACHIEVE MAXIMUM CONTENTMENT(5) You sit in the comfiest chair you can find, and concentrate on finding MAXIMUM CONTENTMENT, you sit there for several minutes concentrating before spending even more time concentrating before you finally start to feel something... NO wait this isn't MAXIMUM CONTENTMENT, aw damn it you've just reached crappy ass nirvana, THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU WANTED so you leave nirvana behind and continue your searching until you finally climb the highest mountain you could find in your mind and what you find at the top is the thing you been searching for its MAXIMUM CONTENTMENT and you reach out and grab it with both hands and hold on, and you suddenly wake up back in the mansion and you feel content with your situation.
Its time to start spreading the propaganda to weaken TricMagic's rule.(Middle East spreading propaganda = 6) They start spreading the anti-TricMagic propaganda around, but dozens of them get caught by the anti-terrorism task force and they're killed.
FIND THEM AND KILL THEM!(Finding them = 5) After gathering your bearings you finally figure out where those pumpkin things are camped out and rush in to it.
Keep searching for planets that we can live on.(4) After more searching you finally find a planet that's almost exactly like Earth in every way.
Wake up and see what needs to be done.(Waking up = 4) You quickly wake up and get to searching for potential problems.
Keep killing the mutated pumpkin things.(Killing = 1) They all get slaughtered.
Keep killing the monks.(Killing = 2) They don't kill anyone.
I told you zultan, you should have killed it well before this point.I wanted to let something big happen and end it when the big thing was resolved, but by the time the big things were happening the game had been going almost a year so I decided to kill it on the one year mark rather than just pick a spot and end it without anything to serve as a suitable ending.