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Wait for the next release. I want usable mugs damn it!

55 (71.4%)

We can use the current one. I like the big trees and slightly smarter dorfs.

17 (22.1%)

I'll take .34.11 thanks. I want to know I'll get to kill things for sure.

5 (6.5%)

Total Members Voted: 77

[Mr Frog]

So does that mean Savero (And by extension I) am doing a good job?

Yes. I think putting the fort in the hands of some random schlub who isn't connected to anything and thus can provide an outsider's perspective is brilliant; his reactions to the shrieking maelstrom of WTF that is Spearbreakers have proven to be pretty consistently hilarious.


Also, accidental Touhou reference FTW:

black-whites

My first thought upon reading this was that Spearbreakers was somehow playing host to a plurality of Marisas, which is both fucking terrifying and completely in line with what one would expect from the twisted clusterfuck timewarp y'all have created.

[Aseaheru]

I really like this guy.

[Splint]

Savero's a femdorf. Just a heads up. Didn't even know her gender until after I assigned the name.

[soulslicerjames]

As for the new FB, the fact that it has a poisonous sting (and thus has to actually hit to inflict whatever it's syndrome is) means we don't have to worry about Dauros going the way of Fischer from killing it.  Can't really think of anything else to say, but I do like this new perspective too.

[Splint]

The only reason I sent Dauros to face it down was because it doesn't have webs (one other FB) or vapors (Two others.) Even fireflingers can't do much to him if they fail to light him up on the first hit unless they're made of fire. So I may need to  think of some way to clean them out. Possibly with spikes. Lots of spikes.

[Lolfail0009]

black-whites

My first thought upon reading this was that Spearbreakers was somehow playing host to a plurality of Marisas, which is both fucking terrifying and completely in line with what one would expect from the twisted clusterfuck timewarp y'all have created.

That's not terrifying, that would tame the fortress a bit. And besides, everything needs a bit of love-coloured magic, doesn't it?

[Mr Frog]

black-whites

My first thought upon reading this was that Spearbreakers was somehow playing host to a plurality of Marisas, which is both fucking terrifying and completely in line with what one would expect from the twisted clusterfuck timewarp y'all have created.

That's not terrifying, that would tame the fortress a bit. And besides, everything needs a bit of love-coloured magic, doesn't it?

Spoiler: Not-Journal of Mr Frog (click to show/hide)

Entry #8012

What appeared to be a set of human identical quintuplets dressed in equally-identical witch costumes dropped by my lab unannounced today, which may have lightened the mood more had they not somehow stolen literally everything in my lab that wasn't nailed down in the short time my back was turned. We'll see how much they enjoy burglarising me after I deploy 'IT'.


[...]


Entry #8014

IT was reduced to a mist of atoms within several seconds of accosting the 'witches'. To-Do: Improve the next version of IT's resistance to focused gamma-ray bursts; acquire and analyse the properties of the witches' unidentified energy weapons. Something with that unheard-of level of output ought to be hiding some sort of magitechnological innovation within it; I just need to take it apart and examine it first.


[...]


Entry #8017

Well, that went wonderfully. Blew up half my office and I still don't know how the bloody thing works ("mini-hakkero", the witches called it -- I shudder to think of what a full-sized version would be capable of). Additionally, an unidentified interloper or interlopers appears to have stolen all of my good stationery and most of my pens. There will be a reckoning for this just as soon as I find a satisfactory drink Armok-knows-where (I've tried to give instruction, but the dwarves still couldn't piss out a good brew if their lives depended on it).

Not sure what came over me. Also, obligatory music links.

[Splint]

Why oh why did I started laughing like a madman at the "Stole all my good stationary and most of my pens" part.

[Lolfail0009]

stole all my good stationary and most of my pens

Evidently they weren't fountain pens.

[Splint]

Once again, here thread. Have an update.


12th Granite, 211

Well Dauros did the deed. Got knocked around a bunch but didn't seem to be worse for wear, so I guess I can see why the greenskins or gods forbid, the spawn haven't overrun the fortress. According to his report that thing was a fair bit tougher than alot of the others and took three solid stabs to get through it's skull and he's not even sure if that's what actually killed it, since in his words he "Also fucked it's spine up pretty good," so it's entirely plausible he just killed it by suffocation. He left some torches to mark where it is and I've sent a crew down to bring the corpse up; no sense letting all that meat and offal go to waste right?

I wonder if skulls make good mugs if you cover over the cracks and holes...

[He broke it's skull with a kick and chipped it with both pikes twice before it actually died shortly following spinal nerve damage courtesy of Dauros' named pike.]

14th Granite, 211

"We're out of this gem, we're out of that gem, the dogs crapped out more dogs, this idiot made an exact replica of the Duke's dead girlfriend, that idiot found this kind of gem."

WHY DO I HAVE TO BE TOLD OF ALL THESE INANE THINGS!?

No wonder most of the overseers don't do the job longer than a year at a time; most of them probably get sick of waking up in the morning and tripping over a box of filed brand new reports while trying to get breakfast. Oh, and did I mention we found mechanisms that look like they got part way melted by dragon-fire?

17th Granite, 211

I was informed by one of the Duke's guards that I am to bar anyone from touching his fancy hammer. I told him no problem and went back to my midday drink. It hasn't been a month and I already want to say to hell with this. I even went to the Duke and asked if i could throw in the towel but he said no and if I asked him about it again he'd pitch me down one of the wells in the hospital.

After that, I ran into a dwarf named Nevyn who said we were out of citrines so he couldn't encrust more crap with them. I told him to bugger off and bother someone else with that crap, because I'm a stonecrafter, not a stupid jewler.

24th Granite, 211

Doc Kannan asked if we had any stawberry seeds stashed anywhere because he wanted to plant some more. I asked him why. He said because they were the spring crop on the surface farm, which I didn't even know we had. I then asked him why he wasn't at the hospital, and I got a rather horrifying answer of "They don't let me work there anymore."

Gods, I need a drink after hearing that.

1st Slate, 211

Well, first month down and I haven't killed myself or slept very well. The duke ended a mandate and has his crew taking the rest of the season off to relax since they've been training constantly for months now and only stopped long enough to meet liaisons from home.

[Mr Frog]

@Splint, Lolcat:

Okay, this is driving me nuts... "Stationery" as in writing supplies has an 'e', not an 'a'.

==The More You Know==

[Splint]

I have never before been corrected on that so chalk it up to the evolution of the english language. I'm pretty sure the vast majority of people make that mistake because they're unaware of the difference. :\

[Mr Frog]

Well, since stationary and stationery have two fundamentally-different meanings and I'd assume etymologies, it makes sense in my mind to preserve the different spellings.

Also, I'd avoid using the 'languages evolve' excuse on me, as I can't promise it won't lead to me picking an exceedingly-stupid fight :V

SHORT SUMMATION OF MY OPINIONS ON THE SUBJECT: I don't much support the idea of some hypothetical standardised form of English which everyone must adhere to on pain of torture -- there are more than a few nonstandard quirks in my writing, which are in fact largely there by design -- but I also believe that there's a difference between an intentional, calculated design choice (well-conceived or not) and plain ol' laziness (see: 99% of the Internet). In the end, I feel it just boils down to 'does this make it easier or harder to read and/or understand?'.

[tomio175]

Kannan, probably the first dwarf ever to be barred from working in a dwarven hospital.

On a scale of 1 to 10, ten being alike to a blind person without hands who specializes in neurosurgery, what would best describe his incompetence?

[Mr Frog]

Kannan, probably the first dwarf ever to be barred from working in a dwarven hospital.

On a scale of 1 to 10, ten being alike to a blind person without hands who specializes in neurosurgery, what would best describe his incompetence?

1. Kannan was in fact peerlessly-skilled... at malpractice.