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[GuardianTempest]

Inspired by this thread.

So yeah, imagine what sort of crazy mishaps the players of the future will come up with?
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"Haha, I'm close allies with the nearby kobolds, according to their '[Treaty of -unintelligable-]', I should be able to keep them happy with shiny trinkets. Shame that they died within the next war because they keep heading towards enemy fire. I mean, come on, bullets aren't THAT shiny!"

[Hanslanda]

"So, I finally reached the bottom of the eerie glowing pits. You know what was down there?

Motherfucking Chuck Norris."

[GreatWyrmGold]

Hey, guess what? You can create a singularity by having a minecart filled with minecarts, etc, to seventeen degrees. In other news, I am about to conquer the circus.

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Amazingly, singularities make the circus worse. That...was a horrible idea.

[Sprin]

The cat I buchered did a lol face!

[Murmur]

Hey guys, I need some help with rockets. I know that detonating a dwarf nuke underneath the launch pad is the quickest way to get the rocket itself into space, but it also has the mostly unpleasant side effect of destroying everything in and around my fort. What should I be doing to minimize the damage?

[GreatWyrmGold]

Hey guys, I need some help with rockets. I know that detonating a dwarf nuke underneath the launch pad is the quickest way to get the rocket itself into space, but it also has the mostly unpleasant side effect of destroying everything in and around my fort. What should I be doing to minimize the damage?

Make sure that only nobles and elves are near the launch pad. Also, keep the fortress population in a nice, lead-lined room for a month or two. Radiation has some interesting effects that you might "get" to see on your next migrants.

[Nyan Thousand]

It happened again.
Why does it seek me? Why does it seek me? Why does it seek me?
Release them from the prison. Release them. Release.
Happen. Release the population. It goes. It goes. It goes. Freedom for the unjust.

Yes. I imagine DF players in 2050 end up going insane.

[misko27]

Noob: Dear Jesus. I somehow managed to collapse half of my embark into a sub-quantem wormhole. I knwo no oe will know what to do, BUT WHAT TO DO?

other players: happens all the time. Make sure your Quantam Disfigurement  drives are made with candy. Candy, as a none-atomic structure, doesn't react with the Destabilization oscillater as it should, leading to runaway expansion. Activate the Sub-nuclear Reintegration device, and set max area for "ALL". Note, this will erase any other paricular quantem anomalies you created, but it sounds like yours has already swallowed up all those

Noob: You can use the Sub-nuclear Reintegration beam on areas larger then 50x50? I NO UNDERSTAND. If you want me to do each part one at a time, It simply refills the space before its charged to hit another.

Other Players: What you Should Do is Use a Chrono-Stabalization device to Store charge in hyper space, actvate it by over-riding automatic control. You should them be able to spread it to entire area. Then, Unleash the charge as you acivate it.

Noob: MANUAL OVERRIDE?

Other Player: Its [shift alt 4 print screen]

Noob: DOH! THAKS GUYS!

Grammer nazi: Learn to Spell.

Noob: NOES!

[GreatWyrmGold]

It happened again.
Why does it seek me? Why does it seek me? Why does it seek me?
Release them from the prison. Release them. Release.
Happen. Release the population. It goes. It goes. It goes. Freedom for the unjust.

Yes. I imagine DF players in 2050 end up going insane.

...How is that different from now?

[Ultimuh]

It happened again.
Why does it seek me? Why does it seek me? Why does it seek me?
Release them from the prison. Release them. Release.
Happen. Release the population. It goes. It goes. It goes. Freedom for the unjust.

Yes. I imagine DF players in 2050 end up going insane.

...How is that different from now?

It's in 2050.

[Gaybarowner]

Hey my fortress is half a billion years old and my suns going to red giant how do i fix?

[darkrider2]

So I got bored and I decided to build my own sentient AI in the game.

It works and all, but its giving me some problems. It locked all of my dwarves in the dining hall except for the crazy were-chubecabra thats still convinced he's living inside of a hyper-complicated simulation run by aliens or something, I don't know his personal thoughts page is really messed up after I gave him that lobotomy.

Any idea how I can get the doors opened? None of the dwarves in there know the override codes and the AI is refusing to listen to their pleas for help/water/food etc. Everyone who knows the codes and has access are dead in the kings dining hall after the AI activated my magma death trap. The AIs creator is dead in a pool of miasma outside.

Please help, the AI just turned on the mega drill project and will breach hell pretty soon... I also am no longer able to pause the game, I'm running every program on my computer right now to slow the framerate but he's getting close.

On the up side the temple of elven death megaproject was finally finished and my research team has finally developed a better fertilizer.

[Toady One]

(cleared out off-topic derail)

[Hurize]

Why cannot I power my Cold Fusion Generator to power the space station, The dwarfs are going insane without their computers to beam up food for them.
Also, one of my dwarfs punched a hole into the window causing instant explosive decompression. how do I get the doors sealed till I get a shipment of duct-tape up there?

[Hanslanda]

So, I equipped my dwarves with plasma weaponry, and now my fortress is on fire. Was it a mistake to give the hunters plasma cannons?