SUMMON NATHAN BARNATT
(4) BEHOLD A SOMEWHAT FAMOUS COMEDIAN.
USE MY INCORPOREAL SPIRIT POWERS TO POSSESS THE CASSANDRA THAT MURDERED ME.
(3) YOU ARE THE GHOST HAUNTING HER RIGHT TOENAIL.
Follow Cheesecake through the hole into the game from the multiverse.
(4) YOU HEAD BACK FROM WHENCE YE CAME.
>attempt to hire GreatWyrmGold to be the agency's chief financial officer
>hire more time travelers, after performing a background check, to make sure they won't try to kill me
(2) YOU GET A BUY SIGNAL FROM HIS PHONE.
>attempt to hire GreatWyrmGold to be the agency's chief financial officer
>hire more time travelers, after performing a background check, to make sure they won't try to kill me
Point out how stupid that is, as if they wanted to kill you you'd already be dead, thus there's no point in hiring them in the first place, as if they dicide to kill you and succeed, you'll die as soon as they're hired.
(3)
"That's dumb and stuff, yo?
"
Figure out what went wrong.
Go back in time to when my assistant and I started re-raising Xantalos, then advise them on how to do it better.
Examine results. Repeat if needed.
Visit the future to be de-aged.
Accept Zanzetkuken's job offer if I get it.
(1,1) YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE DUE TO YOUR CONTINUED EXISTENCE, AND TAKE A TRIP TO THE DAWN OF TIME, ALONGSIDE YOUR ASSISTANT. (6) SHE, ASSUMING YOU'RE HAVING ANOTHER EPISODE, SLAMS THE CONTROLS, AND YOU FIND YOURSELVES IN THE POST APOCALYPTIC FUTURE.
"Goddamn it, I need some time alone."
THEN SHE STORMS OFF.
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Oh well, I have that redhead. All will be fine.
Anyway, after briefly pausing to reflect, Steal a genetically altered Cow and untested growth hormones and a cock fighter(the cock itself, not the people). Hopefully at the same time.
My fiendish plan is going as planned.
(5) YOU STEAL DAT STUFF.
Become bored and start killing my co-workers.
(5) YOU KILL (UN)INNOCENT PEOPLE.
Try to spawn again as Cheesecake Man.
(4) YOU ARE CHEESECAKE MAN, GUARDIAN OF PASTRY CITY. A CHILL BREEZE CUTS THROUGH YOUR SPANDEX OUTFIT.
...what.
Travel to...A random earth from a fictional series.
(5) YOU GO TO IDYLLIC SUPER EARTH FROM SOME PLACE.
Perform expected work functions at high quality. Take initiative to ensure success of projects and company.
(1) YOU STAB YOURSELF IN THE HEART AND TRY TO WRITE WITH THE BLOOD. IT'S PRETTY HARD TO WRITE WITHOUT A HEART, HELL, IT'S DIFFICULT TO DO ANYTHING WITHOUT A HEART. ALSO, YOU'RE FIRED, WHAT WITH BEING DEAD.
Remember to exist. Summon a sperm whale, and use a reverse infinite probability drive to turn it into a missile and blow up Xantalos's spinecopter.
(6) IN YOUR ATTEMPT TO REMEMBER TO EXIST, YOU BEGIN TO MEDITATE ON THE VERY NATURE OF EXISTENCE, AND YOU FORGET TO REMEMBER.
*Coninue being traveling salesman, turn on NPR*
(1) YOU'RE MUGGED AND KILLED.
LEADERBOARD:
XANTALOS
GWG
MISKO
Poll
44 (80%)
Author
Topic: YOU ARE STUCK IN TRAFFIC: Christ, you buggers are clueless. (Read 153626 times)