I wondered.(1) To start things off, you lurch from your desk towards one of the agents with your arms outstretched and trip over on the corner of the cubicle, he then empties the entire magazine into your various vital organs.
Grab a gun from the nearest agent, and use it to shoot him in the knees.
James Daniels!(1) Following Kobosh's example on how to roll a die, you heave and pull on your computer which doesn't seem to be yielding from its cords, and take several bullets into your shoulder.
Stop playing mine-sweeper, pick up my computer, and fling it at the nearest agent.
"I WAS JUST ABOUT TO BEAT THE HARDEST DIFFICULTY"
My name's John Moxley, I just got to work and I damn well intend to finish my first coffee of the day before dealing with this bullshit.(5) It turns out walking with your coffee-deprived zombie-like gait actually makes you a rather difficult target, you shamble through the hailfire of bullets and reach the coffee machine where you prepare your cup of Joe to face the day, it doesn't take too long and you take a gulp to be revitalized.
Take cover in my cubicle. Wait for someone to enter, then ram them with my injured shoulder, and loot them for any(2-1) Why on earth you thought ramming someone with your injured shoulder was a good idea, no one will ever know, regardless, you hunch behind your desk until one of the agents looks inside, then you try to stand up, bang your shoulder on the desk's edge, and clutch it in pain. (5) However as the agent point his gun to shoot you, he pulls the trigger and finds out he's out of ammo! He flings it aside and prepares to take you on in a fist fight.tier 2loot I can.
Curtis Langer(2) You look around for a lighter but you can't find any! (2) The shredder is also screwed to the table after too many incidents involving it landing on people's feet.
Gaahh not right now! I was just about to finish shredding some important files too.
Take a lighter, set the shredded paper on fire and throw the now on fire shredder into an agent.
My name is Robbert Gilligon MacKillem, And those CIA Losers Just Stopped me from being able to Slack off, Now They will feel the Wrath of an Angry Scot as I beat some of them with an Oversized Stapler!People may have laughed at you for having your giant stapler, but now you'll show 'em! You release some incomprehensible Scottish words and pick up your stapler, (3) you charge into the fray and slam someone in the face with the stapler, he looks rather stunned and isn't ready for another blow. 1+ for a follow up attack.
I am Jack Gill, full time desk-monkey, part time dishwasher, and avid reader.(2) You take one of your paperweights and quickly throw it out of your cubicle! It doesn't even hit anyone.
Throw a paperweight into the kneecap of an agent.
RIP THE SHREDDER OUT OF THE FLOOR AND THAN SHRED SOME FOOLS!(3) You tear it free of the table! It's not really designed for shredding people so you go with your original plan and throw it at a guy's face, it knocks him out cold.
Shit! Grab any decently sized object and hurl it viciously at the face or groin of the agent! If he is stunned, follow up by kneeing him in the groin, then punching him in the face with my good arm. If he is not even fazed, meekly surrender.(5) You pick up your glass cup of steaming hot coffee and expertly throw it at his face! It shatters in such a way as to be absolutely shredding his face while melting it, this makes the following actions rather unnecessary but you firmly stomp the poor guy rolling on the floor in the groin and then kick him in the jaw for good measure, he's definitely not getting up any time soon.
"Ahhh. Nothing like the first coffee of the day. ...Now, uh, what the hell is going on?"(3+2) You decide to make yourself a fine fortress to withstand the siege! You put together strong walls with holes to shoot through and steps to be able to shoot over, you use your superhuman bullet-time to quickly snatch one of the elevator doors that doesn't have human-paste under it and jury-rig a gate, you even found a few guns hidden in desks and cabinets.
Put down the rest of my coffee for now, and use my +2 to fashion a tall, sturdy barricade out of the desks, cubicles and filing cabinets surrounding my own desk (which will remain intact). Be sure to include an inner walkway with plenty of spots for people to stand and look, shoot or throw stuff over the wall. Also include a fortified gate which can be locked and barred from inside.
Recruit some of my fellow office workers to join me within the barricade, if possible.
...You're all currently on floor 37 out of 50 on the blandest skyscraper in existence, surrounded by cubicle walls that do little besides obstruct vision, at the walls there are frequently occurring windows at the far walls, many CIA agents are moving out of a door-less elevator, a seemingly infinite amount of people seem to be doing random things and hilariously failing, you hear a helicopter somewhere.
Something needs to go on the coroner's report, what would you say your name was if your girlfriend and mother were watching?
And then, actshun!
Take the gun the agent threw down, and any clips of ammo on his person. Load the pistol, test-fire a shot, then crouch and begin to move out of my cubicle. Shoot any agents I see.(4) You pick up the gun and find two clips, you reload and test it to see if it still works, it does indeedy, you move out and look for agents, (1) you found 'em mate, you stumble onto the main body and get turned into an exciting cannibal friendly variant of Swiss Cheese with high iron content before you can even point your gun.
Pick up a letter opener and look for the restroom.(3) You accidentally pick up your letter opener blade-first, (2) it spins out of control and relieves you of your pinkie finger, you hastily pick it up again and make a bee-line for the nearest restroom, (3) you find it but someone beat you to it and the door into the room proper is locked!
"It can't be the CIA. That's too obvious. It must be the USPS! Their own foul tools shall be turned against them!"
Take his gun(1) Speaking of that gun, it tumbled through the air and is now discharging as it hits the floor, (5) fortunately you do a SWEET DODGE and it completely misses, although it seems rather broken and useless now.
AND ANOTHER STAPLE TO THE FACE!(2+1) Lord of being mediocre, you slam him in the face again and he reels back, at least he's not shooting you.
"Calm down, people! Jeez! You'd think it was clocking-off time and this was the nearest exit. Let's be sensible and not die, alright?"(1+1) Action heroes or not, this is still a building full of disillusioned office workers, none of them feel like going and making their own barricades, (3+1) you lock the gate anyway, at least to prevent the rest from getting in.
Use my +1 to direct excess people to start building another set of barricades nearby, rather than overfilling mine.
Close and lock the gate once they're out, ready for defence. Make sure there are plenty of armed people atop the walls.
Attempt to inspire my allies to repel the attackers with a rousing speech:
"Ready yourselves, O valiant co-workers! We fight, not merely for our cubicles, a semi-fair minimum wage and the last mug's worth of coffee in the break room, but for our very lives! Do you want to see your friends and family again? Do you want to get out of here alive? Or do you want the last thing you see to be the bleak, bland confines of a modern workplace?! No! Let's show them how an office drone can fight when it needs to, like a cornered rat!"
Once they're (hopefully) ready to fight to their last breath, calmly sit back down at my desk and finish my coffee.
((I think I rambled. I'm pretty sleepy. Sorry. Feel free to just go with the 'rousing speech' if I have too many actions.
Incidentally, I am drinking coffee right now! It's only instant(which I personally don't mind), and not my favourite brand of instant, but it's still nice. :) ))
Name: Cho K. Point(5) Time is frozen!
Postion: Data Entry Zombie
Pull the Batteries out of the clock on my desk in attempt to freeze time!
Fred Jones.(4) So far you've managed to keep your stair-case to the unused floor 36 a secret, and you've lurked in there preparing for just such an attack and when you don't feel like working.
That Guy In The Basement.
Activate the CIA-tracking autoturrets from my secret lair in the basement! Which is somehow on the 37th floor!
Weird spacetime stuff!
Name: Cho K. Point(5) Time is frozen!
Postion: Data Entry Zombie
Pull the Batteries out of the clock on my desk in attempt to freeze time!
On the clock at least.
...
Yay.
((Stahp quoting me it makes things harder to tidy up.))Name: Cho K. Point(5) Time is frozen!
Postion: Data Entry Zombie
Pull the Batteries out of the clock on my desk in attempt to freeze time!
On the clock at least.
...
Yay.
Use my Wile E. Coyote like ignorance of the physical laws of time to steal all the clips from the guns of motionless agents incartoonMatrix-like fashion.
I TRY TO RIP OFF HIS 'ED AND PLAY 'IM LIKE A SET OF GRISLY BAGPIPES!(1+2) ((good grief)) You settle for merely breaking his neck, of course, this means that the only way to play him like a set of bagpipes is to blow air through his lips, (1) it is the worst kiss known to man, and now everyone in the office knows "how you are".
FIRE THE LASER!(3) You fire the Nerf laser! Highly experimental Nerf technology to usher our civilization into a new age! It's sort of bright and hard to look past, it seems to be heating up the chassis.
(at the VTOL)
Use my smart phone and my LEET HACKZOR skills to hack the VTOL.(5) You put on your cap and start putting your SWEET hacking software on your phone to good use! Although the piloting software is too secure, you hack the missile tracking and cause the entire missile racks to explode, severely damaging it while putting the explosives out of commission.
((Channel the spirit of Aiden Pearce.))
Darrin was just about to commit suicide. His days were numbered. As he neared the window on floor 63, he watched the VTOL attack. He was furious. Who the FUCK did they think they were, interfering with his suicide. He leapt out the window and, with ninja-like skills, swung his body into the VTOL, kicking anyone in his way. He then desperately tries to not die for the next few seconds.(1) Darrin jumped out the window, reaching for the VTOL, it then deftly swings to the left despite its damage and he plummeted, making for a most grisly scene below.
Use my Wile E. Coyote like ignorance of the physical laws of time to steal all the clips from the guns of motionless agents in(5) Since they're all dead, you just loot all the clips, ALL OF THEM, you were probably warping time to collect all those clips in such a short while.cartoonMatrix-like fashion.
Rip the restroom door off of it's hinges, and use it as a tower shield. Letter opener ready, and advancing toward the nearest elevator.(4) You tear off the door and swing it around to the elevator, it's sort of hard to carry but you bravely press on towards the elevator.
((Stahp quoting me it makes things harder to tidy up.))O.K. :P
Continue to use my hackzor skills to jury rig a CD port so that it shoots out CDs at ludicrous speeds. Then use this weapon to shoot the VTOL.(1) While you're trying to jury rig a port the VTOL's counter hacking software prepares to cause everything in your proximity to violently explode!
Alyss Marinworth, inspired by the heroic cowardice of her co-worker, Darrin, decides to follow in his footsteps. She also leaps out the window, and tries to be a ninja when attacking the VTOL.(1)"WheeeeeEEEEEEEEEE *Splat*"
That's not working right. Fix the laser! Using robots!(4) You send your spiderbots to fix the laser to fire actual laser bolts! Like the superior machines they are, the laser turret works like it should now.
Cho dashes back to his desk clock and desperately tries to replace his clock batteries to avoid damaging the time space continuum!(4) You shove the batteries back in, everything is how it should be.
"Well... that didn't go too well."(5+1) You hide under your desk while everything starts coming down and the floor falls in! You fall into floor 36, (3) you do it rather poorly and slam your back on a table, it hurts a lot but you probably didn't break your spine.
Hide under my desk! Hopefully it's well-made! Shield my head from debris! Use a +1!
FIRE THE ACTUAL LASER!(1) THE ACTUAL LASER explodes violently! Flinging you and heated shrapnel everywhere, (5) despite being inside the explosion radius you escape unscathed.
Groan and look around. Is this floor occupied at all?(6-1) There's some doof trying to use a giant laser and exploding, other then that there's no one else here, although there's
make a rubber band gun that would make Joerg Sprave proud. Then load a letter opener into it and use that to shoot down the VTOL.(1) You put together a Totally SafeTM array of rubber bands and PC parts and put a letter opener in it, you take aim, fire, and the letter opener goes flying while your 'gun' falls to pieces, (4) it sticks itself in a nearby wall.
Once I enter the elevator, I press the button for the basement. Brandishing my impromptu Door-ShieldTM, listening to the sound of elevator music, I wish that I hadn't forgotten my coffee. Damn it.(5) On a casual look, there isn't in fact a button for any basements, but you've been working here for years and know the tricks, so you shift the shield, slide up the panel and press the basement button, while waiting the elevator music fills you with DeterminationTM while you watch the elevator shaft go by through the lack-of-doors, there's a bit of confusion with another guy at the ground floor but while he's jamming the button, the elevator finally reaches the secret basement level, you drag your shield out and the elevator once again leaves for floor 37.
pick up the biggest, most explosive thing in the office, then fling it viciously at his target.After shenanigans in the elevator, you finally exit into the office, you see the VTOL and look for something good to throw at it, the most promising candidate seems to be Dave's Crappy PC, he was always shoving all sorts of rubbish he found on the internet inside it until it hardly worked and was always on the verge of killing everyone in the office, you tear it free of its cabling and make a well aimed throw at the VTOL, (4) it lands squarely on-target and explodes spectacularly! One of the four engines fail and it doesn't look like it's sticking up much longer.
Cho access his secret powers of telekinesis to commmandeer the VTOLs controls and make it do a nose dive into the street.(2) Cho was always sure that he had telekinesis, but he could never prove it! But that isn't stopping him, he puts his mind to the task and focuses as hard as he can! He ends up with a nose-bleed to stack onto his bullet wounds.