Post by: Harry Baldman on August 23, 2013, 06:38:41 pm
The weather this Saturday afternoon is rather appropriate for the season – a furious downpour interrupted by occasional bits of extremely loud thunder, not to mention a gale that could strip the flesh from your bones were it not too busy making off with your hat or possibly your umbrella if you have one. All in all, it promises to be a miserable time for everyone except the most hopelessly contrarian people you wouldn’t enjoy talking to anyway.
Still, the outside world, as gloomy as it may be, is not quite our concern presently. Instead, we direct our attentions to a certain building on a particular street in a nonspecific city, which just so happens to be in an unimportant place in space. Despite the normally agreeable and temperate climate actively rebelling against anything that one might construe as fun or engaging, something is indeed happening within the walls of the aforementioned building – the Coleman Community Center. More specifically, within Room 303, where a rather fat, informally dressed and unkempt man sits in a room that can easily be recognized as a former classroom, albeit a slightly redecorated one. For one, there’s a whole bunch of burning candles around, some of them rather aromatic. Secondly, the entire room stinks of cheap incense. Thirdly, there is a prominent red banner draped over a nearby whiteboard that has the words “OBSCURA SEEKER CLUB” embroidered on it rather delicately. The fat man appears to be hardly able to contain his excitement, and checks his watch periodically to make sure that the hour of destiny is indeed approaching.
As the hour approaches, the door opens, and in comes a raincoat-wearing individual, followed eventually by three others. The fat man’s grin widens with each arrival until it seems like he might reach his ears if it were to stretch just a little more. Luckily, no more people seem to be coming, so nobody gets to find out what that might look like, fortunately for their psyche. When the man is confident that no others shall arrive, he addresses those that have assembled.
“Right, everyone! Welcome to the first-ever meeting of the Obscura Seeker Club! Now, I know what you’re thinking – why am I even here? Who is this guy? Well, I’ve got two words for you – magic, baby. That’s what occultism is all about, getting those sweet magicks, right? Here you will- wait. Getting ahead of myself right here, I am. I don’t even know you guys! Luckily, that’s what your club cards are for!”
The assembled people look at him, then at each other perplexedly.
“Oh, goddammit, let me guess – your question right now is ‘what cards?’, right?”
His potential fellow clubmates shrug.
“Sheesh. Well, there’s some over there. Fill ‘em out,” he says peevishly, pointing to a stack of photocopied pages on a nearby desk that one certainly wouldn’t mistake for cards.
Spoiler: The Premise, The Rules (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: OSC Member Card, also known as the Sheet of Your Character (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: How Stats and Skills Work (click to show/hide)
Important note: as of March 31, applications are now closed. If I've somehow missed your application from before then, tell me and I'll see if I can put you in.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 23, 2013, 06:40:55 pm
- Toaster - Larry Malone
- lawastooshort - Halesey
- Pancaek - John T. Deschutter
- Parisbre56 - Henrieta 'Eta' R. Hippo
- Xantalos - the DUNKER
- Nunzillor - Samson
- Jamahawk - Joel Cooper
- flabort - Roger MacCurren
- The Froggy Ninja - Charles Suilla
- wipeout1024 - Tiana Smith
The Waitlist No Longer Exists
Waiting Coolly For Their Masters' Return
- Dwarmin - Kathryn Jones
- Errol - Elizabeth Blanc
- Cheesecake - Willy
- wolfchild - Henrietta Black
- darkpaladin109 - Myles Terrell
- BlitzDungeoneer - The Observer
Missing, Presumed Dead
- Gamerlord - Samuel Bornhast
- scapheap - Clair Malk
- The Froggy Ninja - Dave D. Davidson
Post by: wolfchild on August 23, 2013, 07:02:15 pm
2. What’s your name?: Henrietta Black
3. What color do you identify yourself with? Red but with an orange Highlight like so
4. Describe yourself: I am female, 1 meter and 30 centemeters tall, I am about average in weight for my size. I have Grey eyes and Brown hair
5. What do you like/love/enjoy: I enjoy watching things burn, and a well cooked meal
6. What do you dislike/hate/fear: i Fear being completely alone, with no-one to care about or to care about me.
7. In terms of occult or obscure power and knowledge, who would you like most to resemble (fictional people included): Dannerys Targeryn
Post by: Pancaek on August 23, 2013, 07:30:30 pm
2. What’s your name? John T. deschutter, a.k.a Toronto John
3. What color do you identify yourself with? I'm quite partial to teal
4. Describe yourself. I am a fairly tall guy with wirey muscles, brown eyes and brown hair with a short cropped beard.
5. What do you like/love/enjoy? I enjoy guns, a good mystery and the occasional stiff drink.
6. What do you dislike/hate/fear? I greatly dislike politics and those little packets of ketchup that never open the way you want them to.
7. In terms of occult or obscure power and knowledge, who would you like most to resemble (fictional people included)? I'd say a mix between Garrett from Garrett PI and Karrin murphy from the dresden files.
Post by: Toaster on August 23, 2013, 08:26:44 pm
1. Because the ad promised power and glory, and I seek and deserve both.
2. Larry Malone the Great. Or soon to be great, at least.
3. Purple, the color of royalty, of which I deserve to be.
4. I may be short and unassuming, but soon I will transform my appearance into that of the gods!
5. I like power, wealth, glory, and rubbing those into the faces of others, as well as ordering others around.
6. I hate losing, being weak, being ordered around, and spiders- oh god, the spiders.
7. Gandalf, as he chucks fireballs and lightning and blows up Sauron singlehandedly with his wicked beard.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 24, 2013, 02:18:27 am
Post by: Errol on August 24, 2013, 02:37:47 am
1. Why are you here and not someplace else: Academic interest. ...actually, a massive amount of guilty pleasure.
2. What’s your name: Elizabeth Blanc.
3. What color do you identify yourself with: Soothing lime green.
4. Describe yourself: I'm a plain, short woman with long black hair and fancy headphones, college student and part-time bookstore clerk.
5. What do you like/love/enjoy: Books - particularily Fantasy -, the pursuit of knowledge, silence and peace, video games, Melodic Metal.
6. What do you dislike/hate/fear: Egomaniacs, fighting, ignorance, stupidity and the particular smell of ten sweaty nerds in one small room.
7. In terms of occult or obscure power and knowledge, who would you like most to resemble (fictional people included): Patchouli Knowledge.
Post by: Cheesecake on August 24, 2013, 04:09:36 am
1. Because then the mean doctors will find me!
2. Mom told me not to tell my name to strangers. But okay! My name's Willy.
3. Ultraviolet.
4. Ooh! I know this, the doctors always talk about this! They call me: delusional, demented, disturbing. Ha ha!
5. I like sharing
6. What do you dislike/hate/fear?
7. I'd mostly resemble Billy. He always talks about these things! He looks, acts, and speaks just like me! You could even say we're one in the same!
Post by: lawastooshort on August 24, 2013, 05:44:57 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 24, 2013, 05:55:16 am
Ooh, I'd like to if I get time later.
Game starts on August 26th, so you've got plenty of time.
Post by: Dwarmin on August 24, 2013, 06:07:25 am
2. Kathryn Jones
3. The color dark blue. I'm partial to dark colors, generally.
4. I'd be too embarrassed to describe myself as anything other than average. I have dark brown hair I keep shoulder-length short, I'm 5.2 and 110 pounds.
5. I am, or was a photographer. I don't consider myself an artist, but I am a professional.
6. I tend to dislike bad weather, certainly. And those who waste my time.
7. Harry Dresden is a character I rather enjoy reading about.
Post by: scapheap on August 24, 2013, 06:19:47 am
2. Clair Malk
3. Orange
4. Red headed woman with blue eyes.
5. I love nature.
6. I fear fire.
7. Morrigan(dragon age) with better morals.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 24, 2013, 06:46:10 am
Post by: wolfchild on August 24, 2013, 06:51:37 am
Post by: Gamerlord on August 24, 2013, 07:03:05 am
2. Samuel Bornhast
3. Silver
4. Tall guy with medium length black hair, black eyes, 2.10 metres and approx 95kg.
5. Metal and concrete.
6. Anything natural.
7. Lu-Tze (Discworld History Monk)
Post by: Errol on August 24, 2013, 07:06:52 am
I find it interesting how everybody filling out the card, when asked "describe yourself", immediately writes out their height, weight and distinguishing physical features, like you're joining the military or something. Not that that's a bad thing, of course.
Wait, this is not the military?
Post by: Dwarmin on August 24, 2013, 07:16:30 am
I find it interesting how everybody filling out the card, when asked "describe yourself", immediately writes out their height, weight and distinguishing physical features, like you're joining the military or something. Not that that's a bad thing, of course.
Eh, I suppose most of us are keeping within the single sentence description limit, though I sort of broke of the rules on mine...
Post by: Errol on August 24, 2013, 09:18:27 am
Post by: lawastooshort on August 24, 2013, 04:57:58 pm
Spoiler: Halesey (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 26, 2013, 04:40:13 am
The first four:
- Toaster - Larry Malone
- Dwarmin - Kathryn Jones
- Errol - Elizabeth Blanc
- lawastooshort - Halesey
I feel kinda bad for taking so few people, but I also know that I can't have too many players. The waitlist, then, is such.
- Cheesecake - Willy
- wolfchild - Henrietta Black
- Pancaek - John T. Deschutter
- Gamerlord - Samuel Bornhast
- scapheap - Clair Malk
Those who were selected, you are now required to do one thing - post your stats. These are explained in the spoiler below.
Spoiler: How Stats and Skills Work (click to show/hide)
Those who were selected, post either a filled stat sheet for your character or a convincing excuse for an absence of such a thing (alternatively, an affirmation of either interest or disinterest at the very least) within 24 hours, please.
Post by: lawastooshort on August 26, 2013, 05:11:05 am
Spoiler: Halesey's stats (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on August 26, 2013, 05:38:17 am
Spoiler: Kat's Stats (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on August 26, 2013, 07:43:39 am
Spoiler: Elizabeth's stats (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on August 26, 2013, 07:44:35 am
Spoiler: Larry's Stats (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on August 26, 2013, 07:56:54 am
Edit: And done, no more changes. :)
Post by: Toaster on August 26, 2013, 07:58:57 am
Also, Harry's made a mistake- with everyone posting within a couple hours of each other, player responses will be high since we all must be similar time zones. He better be ready for five updates a day!
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 26, 2013, 08:15:08 am
As the four gathered individuals fill out their "cards" and hand them to the fat man, he looks through them quickly, nodding with no small amount of satisfaction. He folds them up and places them in his back pocket, chuckling mildly. He then turns to you all.
"Right then, let's get down to business. See, the thing is, this ain't no ordinary occult club. Far from it, people! You see, most occult clubs dabble in this and that, burn incense, that sort of thing. Tricks and stupid rituals that don't actually do anything."
He looks at a nearby burning stick of incense and extinguishes it.
"Smell was making me furious. So, yeah. What I got for you all ain't the average ballyhoo whatever that you get in most places. Naw, what I got - it's magic. Like, real magic."
He puts his palms together. The assembled people - Larry, Kathryn, Elizabeth and the somewhat confused Halesey all can hear a rather audible crackle issue from him, and the air shimmers mildly in his vicinity.
"And it's magic that I'm gonna give to you people. Are you ready?"
Clearly, this is some sort of pivotal moment. There's even a loud thunderclap to accompany it.
Post by: Dwarmin on August 26, 2013, 08:34:08 am
She suppressed a yawn, realizing she honestly had no where else to go right at this moment. No job during the day, couldn't sleep at night. So...she needed to do something, anything...
"Ah, sure. Why not?" Kat asked sardonically, crossing her legs in a classic subconscious defensive posture.
Post by: Tomcost on August 26, 2013, 09:14:07 am
Post by: Errol on August 26, 2013, 09:26:59 am
Elizabeth was conflicted. Her face was alight with a mixture of confusion and excitement. On the one hand - no, no way. The only kind of magic existing in the real world was sufficiently advanced technology. Absolutely true. And... this man didn't look like he regularily handled technology more sufficiently advanced than the telephone he ordered his breakfast pizza with.
But there was this little part inside of her that was getting all too giddy at the thought. After all, magic's what she came for, right?
"...but if you can prove me otherwise... bring it."
But what if it really just was static electricity?
She sat stiffly on her chair, clutching its arms with a hint of panic, much like a child who knows that the dentist will see him in a few seconds.
Post by: Toaster on August 26, 2013, 09:57:13 am
"C'mon, man, give us the power!"
Post by: lawastooshort on August 26, 2013, 10:36:27 am
"Uh... Yeah. Born ready, and stuff."
Listening to the fat bloke talk shit for half an hour's better than deportation, I suppose... Haha. Wait, if he's not mental praps he can hear me think this? Shit... Uh... the handsome bloke... uh... Dude. Seriously. He can't hear me think this.
He darts his eyes to the other three in the room and finally back to the man in charge.
Can you?
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 26, 2013, 11:02:15 am
"Ah, sure. Why not?"
"Eh? Wait, seriously? That can't possibly be true... but if you can prove me otherwise... bring it."
"C'mon, man, give us the power!"
"Uh... Yeah. Born ready, and stuff."
After a short moment of a dramatic silence and what Halesey presumes to be conclusive proof that this guy can't, in fact, hear what he's thinking at any given moment, the fat man leans sideways and begins fishing something out of a nearby duffel bag.
"Right, now, where did I put 'em... ah, here we go."
The guy pulls out a set of ring binders, four in total. They are not very visually impressive, aside from stickers on their spines that have the word "MAGIC" written on them with a marker. They are in a variety of pretty colors, though. The man, slightly out of breath from the intense effort required for him to half-bend over, leans forward, giving a binder to each of the new club members. He then takes a moment to relax.
"Okay, right, now, you see those books in those hands o' yours? Those're magic. They do magic. You put your mind to it, and then you get magic that you can use. Spells."
He sighs.
"Excuse me, I'll be right back - need a quick bathroom break. Experiment with your books in the meantime - they should work fine."
He gets up from his chair with difficulty, then walks over to the door, disappearing through it in a moment. The lucky binder recipients all look at their newest treasures.
So. Uh. That's a thing, they guess.
Post by: Toaster on August 26, 2013, 11:05:56 am
"And here it is! Power!"
Read that book! Say any spells of unimaginable wealth or power that are listed.
Post by: Dwarmin on August 26, 2013, 11:15:00 am
She cast a weary eye at the man named Larry. "Power, sure. And we're just getting it for free."
Action: Peruse my binder with skepticism!
Post by: Toaster on August 26, 2013, 11:22:33 am
Post by: Dwarmin on August 26, 2013, 11:30:10 am
Anyway, my name is Kathryn Jones. I'm a professional photographer, or was. Came here to burn some time, maybe get a laugh or two. What about you?"
Post by: lawastooshort on August 26, 2013, 11:34:05 am
Look through the folder. Try to figure out if anything in it makes sense. See if there's anything that looks like it could turn something invisible. If so get the gold watch out my pocket and try to... Disappear it.
Post by: Toaster on August 26, 2013, 12:07:34 pm
"Larry Malone. I work... well, certainly won't keep that pointless job once I have this mastered. Waste of damn time is what it was. This... this looks to be the real thing."
Post by: Dwarmin on August 26, 2013, 12:11:43 pm
Post by: Errol on August 26, 2013, 03:38:53 pm
She was quite sure that this was the cheapest binder money could possibly buy. This... man... certainly had absolutely no flair for presentation and she would need to procure a more presentable book of her own once she got home and... wait, Betty. You're assuming that this isn't bogus.
She flipped the binder over twice.
Certainly, nobody would suspect this to be a spell book. This left two conclusions - either their great and powerful wizard here was smarter than he looked, or he was totally off his rocker.
It was time to examine these hypotheses.
Open the binder, skimming through its contents and then starting to read the theory part carefully, if one is part of the contents.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 26, 2013, 04:32:07 pm
Ultimately, one might suppose it's Kat who feels the most vindicated - each binder appears to be filled with the very same things, and that's a whole lot of crap none of them can rightly say they understand. There's no text that any of them can see - there's only rather spotty photocopies (goddamn, that fat guy must have spent, like, several afternoons Xeroxing all this crap) of all sorts of lines, swirls and squiggly things that may be arcane letters just as much as they can be copying noise. Each of the readers has a feeling that they're looking at some kind of abstractionist exhibit - sure, there's lines and shapes and whatnot, but you'd need, like, a PhD in both art history and lying to explain all this.
All in all, it doesn't look very magical. However, they're all pretty sure that there's something about it. For some reason, the drawings or diagrams or acts of vandalism within the binders seem to evoke some sort of feeling within all of them - it's difficult to identify. It's like fear, one might say, but not fear of the unknown as one might suppose, at least not entirely. This is very much the fear one feels when one hears the stumbling footsteps of a drunken, abusive parent outside their room in their childhood. The fear you feel when you notice a man with shaking hands and blackened teeth staring at you during your long evening commute home.
It's a tad unsettling, one might say.
Post by: Toaster on August 26, 2013, 07:37:24 pm
"Um... anyone getting this? Where's fatty, anyway? Maybe it's one of those osmosis things they ramble on about in those GED classes."
Look deeper- put my head physically on the book and try to absorb it into my head.
Post by: Dwarmin on August 27, 2013, 12:07:14 am
She didn't know why these bizarre, seemingly meaningless shapes filled her with such dread. She had been in places before, feeling the same things-her jeep riding past cold men with loaded guns, the seemingly benign stares of a resentful population resting on her back, heavier than the heat of the desert. Wondering if there would be another bomb, or an ambush. And she only had a camera, not a rifle.
She felt this way now, and couldn't place it.
"...they are a trifle unsettling, though I can't say why. Perhaps it's psychologically meant to make us uneasy. Like, some sort of subliminal messages." She offers.
Action: Kat peruses the binder for things she can recognize, shapes or potential words and such. Seek order in chaos.
Post by: lawastooshort on August 27, 2013, 04:43:06 am
”What the…”
He looks round the room, half expecting someone to jump out, shouting “Surprise!” He doesn’t really believe in fate. This is just chance that he’s ended up in this room but he feels he should play along a little longer. The other man in the room seems to be taking it more seriously, so why not.
He skips through a few pages until one seems to stick on his finger tip, and he contemplates it. It’s kinda like the half scrubbed out tags in the underpasses back home, or anywhere, for that matter – except these somehow feel familiar, but not right. A bit like the half scrubbed out tags in a piss-stinking underpass back home at closing time and you’re on your own and as you turn the corner a pair of kids you know aren’t from your estate also turn the corner into the other end, and you’ve got to walk like you don’t take any shit and you got something in your back pocket and – wait…
There’s one page that feels familiar, and doesn’t knot his stomach so much.
Halesey closes his eyes and tries to picture it himself.
Stop on the first page that seems to catch my attention, and try to split it into units of meaning. Try to visualise it.
Post by: Errol on August 27, 2013, 05:52:52 am
Half of her wanted to just slam the binder down right here and now and exit the room. The other half, though, wasn't in the mood for giving up just yet. Unsettling or not, there was an unsolved mystery, right here. And she'd be damned to let it stay that way.
Okay. Focus...
Flip through the pages systematically. Establish whether there is any similarities, any repeating patterns or any, well, language involved. If so, try to understand it.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 27, 2013, 07:23:46 am
"Um... anyone getting this? Where's fatty, anyway? Maybe it's one of those osmosis things they ramble on about in those GED classes."
Lacking options, he plants his face right into the book. He finds that he can see the abstract art rather nicely now. In fact, it seems to almost leap at his eyes, worm its way into his brain.
[Larry's mind roll: 4]
To be perfectly honest, he feels quite close to the book in more ways than one - it does seem to be... joining with him, somehow. The diagrams - for that is what they are, are no longer within the pages. They are now on his retinas, and burning their way ever deeper.
And it feels wonderful. Larry starts to involuntarily giggle with the power flowing into him as it becomes clear to him - he has two choices, two spells - he can choose one, no more. At least, that's what the book seems to be telling him. He isn't sure how else he could interpret "TWO POWERS, CHOSEN MORTAL! CHOOSE ONE!"
Spoiler: Larry's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
"...they are a trifle unsettling, though I can't say why. Perhaps it's psychologically meant to make us uneasy. Like, some sort of subliminal messages," Kat offers. She looks over at Larry, his face literally buried in the book, the sound of laughter coming from him. Okay. That's... interesting. She looks at the book, looking for any meaning amongst the shapes within. She, very much like Larry, feels a sense of the shapes leaping out to her, so to speak, but, unlike Larry, she has the privilege of physical distance that means she merely shuts the book, drawing her head back instinctively. Yeah, there's certainly something dangerous in there, she thinks.
Halesey mumbles as he starts to get a really weird feeling about this. He still leafs through the binder, of course, trying to figure out what's going on here. Eventually, he finds a page that looks... particular? Aesthetically appealing? Intriguing? Or more familiar than the others? Nevertheless, he examines the page, then closes his eyes and tries to picture it.
[Halesey's mind roll: 4+1]
Only to find that he doesn't actually need to - his eyes are now closed, but the binder remains even while all else goes away. He stares at the binder. The binder stares back, the familiar picture drawing closer, expanding until it seems to envelop his head like some sort of net, pressing into his brain. His mind wanders through what he can only describe as mental corridors so dusty, he isn't sure God himself has trod here. It's like when you renovate a house and find out that there's an ancient civilization buried underneath three feet of dirt in the basement - it's incredibly surreal, sure, but you're also kind of glad you found this out when you did and not, say, ten years later, for instance. As his mind is pulled on a journey within itself through some unknown means, he comes to a certainty affirmed by what seems to be an external voice - he is to be granted something. Three choices he has, and each holds power of its own.
Spoiler: Halesey's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Elizabeth, unclear on whether she's been had or whether this is some kind of eldritch mystery right there, decides to go for the latter, trying to analyze the contents of the tome. She flips through the book, looking for anything resembling a pattern or a language aside from acid-induced, photocopier-magnified visual gibberish.
[Elizabeth mind roll: 5+1]
She concentrates on the shapes, trying to find any rhyme or reason to them, anything at all to hold on to. After a moment of thought, she realizes that there isn't anything at all in the book. Nothing whatsoever to hold onto.
This, she understands, is because the book seeks to hold onto her to make sense. Find context. Of course the diagrams make little sense to anyone. All she needs is to open her mind, and it will all fold together as easily as can be.
~very astute.~ she hears in her head. ~you are ready.~
At this point, the binder enters a predatory lunge, it seems, though it also doesn't move at all. It pounces on her mind, salivating precious knowledge into the confines of her consciousness, the soft trickle of secret understanding filling her senses. The voice's tone rises monotonously, until at last there is a ding somewhere in her brain. Or the mental equivalent, anyway. A portion of magical power has been served.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Back in Room 303 and not some freakish mindscape, Kat observes that her compatriots appear to be slightly absent in the mental sense. She wonders whether that's a good thing for either them or her.
Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on August 27, 2013, 07:47:52 am
Because her senses were warring with her usually strong sense of reality. Kat was not without an imagination, but this was too much. A simple book shouldn't have this effect on her, or the others. She resolves to look for the trick to it all, like any good reporter would, unwilling to believe what she obviously can't
Action: Examine the book again, wary of the changes.
Spoiler: Kats stats (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on August 27, 2013, 07:55:47 am
Anyway, he had a choice. Commune... wasn't that where dirty hippies lived? Storms are powerful, so that must be better. He didn't know who Mucus was, but he was probably a hippie. Damn hippies.
Let's give it a try.
Take door number 1. Stand up, face an empty wall, and try it!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
So, from here on in, I want you all to post a spoiler after each action that contains your current name, inventory, stats and spell list, if you'd be so kind.
Current name? :P
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 27, 2013, 07:59:04 am
Current name? :P
You can give yourself a new one if you like. You're all either wizards or somewhat magical, so you can do whatever you please as long as nobody (like your mother or something) tries to stop you.
Post by: Toaster on August 27, 2013, 08:01:13 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 27, 2013, 08:02:53 am
Do we need to list those? I just assumed that obvious stuff (clothes, shoes, undies, phone) didn't need a mention.
No, not really. I assume you have them either way, unless you specifically state that you don't.
Post by: Dwarmin on August 27, 2013, 08:20:09 am
Post by: lawastooshort on August 27, 2013, 08:36:03 am
Halesey doesn’t want to open his eyes and risk losing this, but is glad when he does and takes a look around. Nothing in the room seems to have changed and nothing seems more out of the ordinary than it was when he arrived. He finds he doesn’t actually have to shut his eyes to see all that… stuff again. He just sort of stops looking at the room and it’s there. He wants to joke that he’ll take a Displace Beans please Bob, but thinks better of it and stops to consider what he’s just heard, or felt, or…
Enraging… sounds kinda bad. Wigs. Judges. Hmm. Enchanted canned goods? What? Beans. Hmm. Displace? Now that sounds useful. Got no beans though.
He wonders whether he should speak his choice aloud, or try to speak it into his mind. Something in the back of his head wonders where the fat toilet dude went and whether any time has actually passed.
”Uh.. Displace Beans please,” he ends up mumbling, hoping that no one else could hear, if they were paying any attention at all.
He searches in his pockets to see if he happens to have a bean lying about in them. He feels a bit stupid: he can’t remember the last time he carried beans loose in his clothes.
But he does find a half pack of chewing gum.
He takes one small pellet and holds it on his palm, and tries to think the feeling that Displace Beans gave him when he was offered the spell. He tries to visualise it ending up on the floor in front of him.
If nothing happens he goes back to feeling through the spell book.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on August 27, 2013, 11:04:27 am
The irrational part of her brain was having a little Ron Paul moment. That was going a little too far, so she forced herself back into a focused state.
So... all of them, if you would be so kind. And... another thing, if I may... who are you?
Continue chatting with the weird voice. Take all three spells.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 27, 2013, 12:10:31 pm
[Kat's mind roll: 5]
This time, though, the book is not ready to let go as easily. In fact, there is a certain determination about it, or is it impatience? The diagrams, once scorned, immediately flood Kat's vision as she looks into the book once again - she tries frantically to close it, but it is too late - the floodgates are opened. Worlds of meaning and power flood through her perceptions, spinning wildly and bouncing within her head, not very good at staying in one place, evidently. Things she has not seen or heard, things no mortal has witnessed in ages and perfectly mundane things becoming extremely twisted - all of these fill her mind to the point of almost bursting, then, in a process that comes as naturally as exhaling, leaves again, leaving but a few meaningful vestiges and a choice to be made.
Spoiler: Kat's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Larry, currently in the middle of a choice that may define at least the next five minutes of his spellcasting career, finds the time to give advice to his partners-in-magic.
"That's the trick - you just have to rub your face in it!" rings out his muffled voice, his mind already made up on what his next spell shall be - oh yes, he shall choose the first - the Storm of Filthy Fans! As he orients his mind toward his goal, he feels the spell enter his mind in a dramatic fashion, making him feel up to fifty percent more magical in no time at all.
As he removes his face from the binder, looking like he's feeling rather good about himself right about now, he stands up from his chair, then strolls over to an empty wall. He focuses his mind and tries to unleash the power of the spell.
[Larry's affinity roll: 5+1]
He aims his hand forward and concentrates his will, urging the magic within him to come out and have a good time at the expense of this wall right here. The air shimmers around his palm, and a massive torrent of filthy fans - if the homeless had a king, these would be the fans he would be fanned with on a hot summer's day when his flowing, matted locks would glisten with venerable sweat. They issue forth from his palm, flying against the wall, curving in their path and flying along the entire room, fluttering everywhere and making a general mess of things - the rest of the cards on the desk fly about, candles go out from the wind of the fans flying around, and the smell of incense is soon replaced by that of perhaps fortunately unidentifiable filth. Larry himself is untouched, fortunately enough, but the rest are hit by quite a few of the fans, leaving filthy fanprints all over their clothing! The fan storm shows no signs of abating after a good minute or so.
But who cares, right? Magic! That he can do at will in a presumably infinitely repeatable fashion! Aw yeah!
Halesey, who has just made a selection of Displace Beans and feels rather optimistic about it, is less than pleased by this development, as when he removes a pellet of chewing gum from his pocket and tries to magic it away, an errant disgusting fan knocks it right off his hand. Oh well. He supposes it wouldn't have worked anyway. After all, it does say pretty clearly that the spell displaces beans, no? Now, if this was Japan and he had bean-flavored chewing gum, then he might be in business.
Elizabeth hardly even notices the storm, mostly because she hasn't exited her spiritual journey to the center of magic or whatever yet. This is probably good, as it would throw off her concentration, anyway.
All knowledge is valuable, and I shall not refuse any gift of knowledge, no matter how small. So... all of them, if you would be so kind.
~splendid. go nuts.~ Three spells move right into Elizabeth's mind, acting like they pay rent and everything.
And... another thing, if I may... who are you?
~don't wanna say. bye.~
Elizabeth is then snapped out of her trance, three spells richer. The room's changed somehow - she doesn't recall it being host to a storm of fans somebody's clearly pulled through several garbage cans. Aw, damn, there's fan gunk all over her clothes now!
Post by: Toaster on August 27, 2013, 12:19:16 pm
"Fweehehe!"
Hmm... needs work. No time for that now, surely the spell for immortality was in here somewhere!
"This is the best thing ever! Isn't it great, guys?"
Dive back to the book! Rub my face all over it again, and over my body if that doesn't work. Embrace its gifts!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on August 27, 2013, 12:24:52 pm
And apparently that's what she chose.
...
Seeing the room rapidly filling with dirty fans from thin air and incontrovertible truth that either magic existed, or she was having a manic episode and strapped down in a gurney somewhere, Kat shrugs.
Huh, magic. How...well...
She concentrated on the spot near the front of the room, where the fat man had been standing. She imagined a...friendly dinosaur? The one that eats plants, with plates on it's back-a baby.
Then she waved her hand in that direction mystically, laughing girlishly.
Might as well enjoy the crackup, she thinks.
Action: Choose number 1! Then try to rain a dinosaur into the room where it won't squash anyone. Presumably.
Spoiler: Kats stats (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on August 27, 2013, 12:31:06 pm
"Dinosaur rain?"
Some stay dry and others feel the pain.
Post by: Errol on August 27, 2013, 01:09:47 pm
She would never have admitted it - but right now, she had the time of her life.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on August 27, 2013, 03:25:06 pm
Halesey glances towards Larry, but decides someone who can summon flocks of filthy fans isn't someone to mess with just yet. He needs something more useful than the ability to move very small things he doesn't have. Either he should go out and get some beans or he should learn something more generally applicable...
He moves to the corner of the room and sits cross legged, opening the folder on his knees.
Re-enter the book whilst trying to keep the Displace Beans spell in mind. See if anything can be interpreted or understood with the previous spell. Can something similar be found?
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 28, 2013, 04:03:47 am
"Fweehehe!" he intones. It is at this point that the storm of fans begins to quickly subside, the filthy things floating down to the ground as the force that seemed to animate them apparently loses the will to do so anymore. Hm. Clearly, he needs more of these spells! He opens the binder and rubs his face on the pages again!
[Larry mind roll: 3+1]
Once again, the magic fills his senses, getting its grubby magic hands all over his brain! And in return for experiencing the mental equivalent of being felt up in a subway, Larry also feels that he is given a choice once more.
Spoiler: Larry's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Kat, meanwhile, makes a momentous choice with all the awareness of a dog in a cell awaiting trial for drug possession with intent to distribute.
"Dinosaur rain?"
Clearly, this was taken as definite affirmation of what she wishes, as she is immediately returned to reality, a decidedly less stormy room than before.
Hm, well, if she's crazy, might as well enjoy it. She points her hand at a particular spot in the room and calls upon the mystical power known as Dinosaur Rain.
However, dinosaurs fail to appear at said spot for some reason. Kat wonders why for a moment, but can't think of any reason why this might be. Maybe the magic fizzled? Or maybe magic doesn't exist at all? Difficult to say.
The antics in the room, blissfully uninterrupted by any dinosaur visits, continue unabated. Elizabeth in particular seems to be quite dizzy with the potential of whatever she's got right now.
"Ooh no you didn't! Take this! Bolt of Alcoholic Beeeeeeeans!" she shouts, not aiming at anything in particular.
[Elizabeth affinity roll: 4+1]
And, right as rain, a bolt - well, more of a sharpened glob, really - of beans appears in front of her palm and hits a nearby wall with reasonable force, the beans scattering throughout the room.
Halesey resists the temptation to try his bean displacement abilities on said magical alcoholic beans, and instead tries the book again.
[Halesey mind roll: 4+1]
He manages to get back into the book, and it is as vivid as ever - however, he isn't sure any of it is under his control in any shape. In fact, he would say he isn't so much reading the book as the book is reading him instead. It's an odd feeling, but he supposes you get used to it. After a short while of the book invading his sensory apparatus, he comes away with yet another bunch of choices for his next supremely magical power.
Spoiler: Halesey's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
The thunder outside intensifies, growing more frequent and the room grows darker.
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on August 28, 2013, 04:54:45 am
She giggled, fleeing the room, binder tucked under her arm. Perhaps the world was ending, that was it. Apocalypse. Mayan sun spots driving everyone insane simultaneously! Nosferatu Masons had unleashed their beam satellites on mankind! The fluoride in the water was taking it's final toll!
...
Kat hoped the weather wasn't as bad as it sounded, though. It was hard enough to drive a motorcycle while sane.
Action: Escape the crazy classroom! Get back to my motorcycle.
Spoiler: Kats stats (click to show/hide)
((Man, nothing works for me. I think I'm failing alot of unshown rolls somewhere.
Edit: Unless the dinosaur is about to fall through the roof of the building. Hmm.))
Post by: lawastooshort on August 28, 2013, 06:44:18 am
Halesey had been sceptical but the sudden apparition of the filthy fans seemed undeniable. The beans too, although perhaps a little less impressive, or perhaps more so, as they seemed… a little more controlled. He wanted to experience that for himself to see if this was real…
Face the same wall as Larry did, point left hand towards the wall, and concentrate on summoning a vortex of potatoes on the wall. Or a Potato Vortex.
((This could possibly go badly. If so, apologies. It’s that or displace some alcoholic beans.))
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on August 28, 2013, 07:53:12 am
Now... there was a more interesting choice here. Musical strippers were never a bad thing, but demon knights to serve him?
Of course, did "Calm" mean calming one that was around or summoning a calm one? Well, whatever, let's give it a try! Those musical strippers were trouble anyway; they always ignored him. Especially that one, and he had even given her a whole dollar!
"Come forth, Demon Knight, and serve me!"
Choose Spell #1 again. Give it a shot.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on August 28, 2013, 09:32:01 am
That wasn't actually a bad thing, she realized. All things considered putting Fireballs of Explodingness in the hands of magic novices was a bad, bad idea.
Anyway. No more wanton magic. Seemed like there was nothing better to do than to continue studying the book... and waiting for the head wizard to return. Had to be one hell of a dump. Elizabeth decided to move to a corner first, to avoid getting hit by too much magical crossfire... put on the headphones, as the thunderstorm worried her a bit... and delve into this magic binder once more. She only vaguely noticed the other woman exiting the room swiftly.
Study the binder. Not with that much of a focus on new spells - if the book doesn't feel like giving me anything else, fine - but rather focusing on more... understanding.
And remember, always be polite in dealing with entities beyond your comprehension.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 28, 2013, 12:22:42 pm
She scales several flights of stairs down to the first floor, running right out of the lobby and into the rainy street. She looks for her motorcycle. Oh, thank God it's still there. She needs whatever-
Her thoughts are interrupted by a giant mound of scaly, suspiciously feathered flesh plummeting down like a meteor, falling dead-center onto where her motorcycle had been safe and sound a short while ago with a deafening boom. Said mound appears greatly displeased by what has just happened to it, figdeting wildly and getting to its feet, revealing Kat's motorcycle to be rather badly crushed. Oh dear. Kat looks around to judge whether this might be a singular act of God specifically to spite her for consorting with sorcerous forces, and comes to the conclusion that this is probably not the case, as there appear to be similar creatures raining everywhere (really in about a 9 square block area, with the community center miraculously exempt from the rain for now) - some are dog-sized, some even smaller, some approach the size of a car or even a house. Needless to say, there's quite a bit of property damage going around. The poor things themselves look pretty confused - well, the ones that don't smash into the ground and essentially explode all over their surroundings, which appears to have happened some distance away to a particularly large specimen.
Rather miraculously, this seems to be happening in a certain radius around the community center.
Back in the classroom, Halesey chooses the power of the Potato Vortex, wondering what that might entail. And by wondering, I mean trying to find out experimentally.
[Halesey affinity roll: 3-1]
He steps over to the wall, concentrating hard upon it and outstretching his palm like a professional wizard or something, but nothing happens! The magic doesn't feel like coming out of him, looks like. How utterly disappointing.
Larry, growing pleasantly accustomed to the sensation of power searing his mind, goes with Spell #1, Calm Videotape Demon Knight! Hoping that a videotape demon knight somehow comes with the rest of the deal, he raises his face from the book.
"Come forth, Demon Knight, and serve me!" he says. However, the videotape demon knight refuses to do so. How disappointing.
Elizabeth, observing all the silliness happening around her, ceases the wanton bean magic and returns to studying the binder, seeking understanding. She opens it up.
[Elizabeth mind roll: 3+1]
~want more?~
I seek knowledge right now, not power.
~eh, no dice. maybe later. quite a bit later. for now, power.~
And truly, power does seem to hit her in a wave, and Elizabeth's mind clutches at two phrases - she must let one go, or risk being swept away.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Just as suddenly as he disappeared, the fat man returns, a look of tranquility on his face.
"Hey, you guys know anything about the fact it's raining dinosaurs outside?"
Post by: Dwarmin on August 28, 2013, 12:45:41 pm
Then she thought what she'd look like if a Dinosaur sat on her. Probably like her poor motorcycle.
She giggled in a high pitched manner and fled back into the dubious safety of the classroom.
...
"It's raining dinosaurs outside! And they smashed my bike!" She exclaimed to everyone, though they didn't seem very surprised.
She pointed to the fat man and advanced upon him. "Hey! You! You're gonna tell me everything you know about magic right this minute. How can all of this be happening? Why would the book give me the power to destroy several city blocks with previously extinct reptiles...er, birds...whatever!" She says, poking him in the chest.
Action: Conversation time!
Spoiler: Kats stats (click to show/hide)
((OOC: I'm around for some quick response RP if needed))
Post by: Errol on August 28, 2013, 12:50:08 pm
The choice had been born from morbid curiosity about how exactly beavers could be racist. She figured that it would be a bad idea to test it right now.
What to do now... studying would be pointless... the room is calm and... oh, hey. Someone just finished his audience. And... okay, what?
"Is it really raining dinosaurs?"
Go to the windows and check what's going on outside.
"Whoa. You've got no idea what palaeontologists around the world would give to be here right now, but you don't sound too fazed by that. I take it you've seen stranger? Also... what do we do now? Is there a wizard equivalent of the Men in Black?"
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on August 28, 2013, 12:56:58 pm
"See? See the power we now wield? And you doubted it! HAH!"
Larry turns to the fat man. "Hey big guy, where's the spell of infinite power and wealth? All we've found are fans and dinosaurs so far. Is there an index or something?"
Question nameless fat man.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on August 28, 2013, 01:02:37 pm
"See? See the power we now wield? And you doubted it! HAH!"
"Of course I doubted it! And it seems to be a power I 'wield', but am entirely unable to control. I tried to summon just one dinosaur. A small one."
Post by: Errol on August 28, 2013, 01:16:50 pm
Post by: Toaster on August 28, 2013, 01:23:54 pm
Post by: Dwarmin on August 28, 2013, 01:34:17 pm
Post by: Dwarmin on August 28, 2013, 02:14:12 pm
"Well, that sounded completely insane."
Post by: lawastooshort on August 28, 2013, 02:25:28 pm
Halesey's mind speeds at a hundred an hour, trying to find clear paths of thought and not entirely succeeding. He's had no success at utilising the magic that shouldn't but clearly does exist, and that is within his grasp. Why not?
Practice?
"Dinosaurs? Not potatoes?"
Repeat the Potato Vortex attempt. Same wall, same left hand, same gestures.
((Oh god yes, thank you for choosing the beavers Errol))
Post by: Toaster on August 28, 2013, 02:30:39 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 29, 2013, 08:12:11 am
"Is it really raining dinosaurs?"
She looks out the window. It really is raining dinosaurs outside. Damn. They're doing a number on the neighborhood, looks like.
"Whoa. You've got no idea what paleontologists around the world would give to be here right now, but you don't sound too fazed by that. I take it you've seen stranger? Also... what do we do now? Is there a wizard equivalent of the Men in Black?"
"Well, the simple answer is-"
Suddenly, Kat storms back into the room.
"It's raining dinosaurs outside! And they smashed my bike!"
The reaction isn't quite what she expected. Either they've gone off the deep end themselves, or they already know. Come to think of it, they probably just looked out the window.
"Oh, your bike's smashed? Shame, I guess."
She turns to the fat man.
"Hey! You! You're gonna tell me everything you know about magic right this minute. How can all of this be happening? Why would the book give me the power to destroy several city blocks with previously extinct reptiles... er, birds... whatever!"
"It's magic, silly. The book, I mean. Don't know what else to say, really."
Larry, hearing Kat's general mental turnaround on the topic of magic, decides to add his own valuable contribution to the conversation.
"See? See the power we now wield? And you doubted it! HAH!"
"Of course I doubted it! And it seems to be a power I 'wield', but am entirely unable to control. I tried to summon just one dinosaur. A small one."
"But, it wouldn't be a dinosaur rain if you only summoned one. It'd be more like, uh, a dinosaur droplet?"
"See? She understands. What's the point of power if you don't swing it every which way? Why summon one dinosaur when you can summon hundreds!"
"But the dinosaurs will kill dozens, if not of hundreds of people!" Kat says. She then considers what she just said. "Well, that sounded completely insane."
"Well, they shouldn't have stood under the dinosaurs. Anyway, they're unimportant."
Larry then addresses the fat man.
"Hey big guy, where's the spell of infinite power and wealth? All we've found are fans and dinosaurs so far. Is there an index or something?"
"Nah, the book gives you what it wants at any given moment. Or, to be exact, what sticks to your brain after it rinses ya. I've kinda started gettin' the hang of it, but I ain't an expert. What I do know is that we need, like, an HQ or something. And I know the perfect place!"
He goes back up to his duffel bag, starting to root through it.
Meanwhile, Halesey pays only the very minimum of attention to the happenings here.
"Dinosaurs? Not potatoes?" he mumbles as he tries again to summon himself a vortex. He thinks a moment, then another moment, then a little more. He could use the same gestures, but there was a certain lack of intuitive grasp about them - he looks like a guy pretending to do magic rather than one who knows how magic is done and how to use it. He doesn't seem at all like his compatriots in the room, the more magical ones. Like the one who made dinosaurs rain - he might not be able to exactly come up with moves like that and thoughts like that on the fly, but he can do his best to duplicate them! Now, once more, with feeling!
[Halesey affinity roll: 2-1+3]
He does his very best to thrust his palm out forward and twist his visage, as well as to make his own eyes flash and his hair float. He also concentrates upon the concept of the Potato Vortex, trying to bring it into reality. His better nature does its very best to stop him, but Halesey pays it no mind. No, he just goes ahead with it anyway, submitting his very being to magic.
And lo, the potato vortex comes into being! A circular section of the wall about one and a half meters in diameter appears to sink in, then begins to swirl! Bits of concrete turn into small globs that then become brownish and dirty, and awfully organic all of a sudden. The vortex, now completely made up of swirling, ever-growing amounts of potatoes, exerts a palpable pull on Halesey, who takes a quick step back immediately.
He peers into the tubery darkness of the vortex. In the darkness, something peers back. Halesey gets the feeling the vortex doesn't like being stared at.
The fat man, having rooted through his bag quite thoroughly, pulls out a map of the town.
"Right, so, we need a magical, mystical temple, a sort of magical haven. As much as I love meeting here, I'm afraid that, judging from what's already been happening, that we won't be able to stay here much longer. So, I'm gonna need you to acquire some property."
He points to a place on the map, a place that anyone who bothers to look recognizes as the bad side of town.
"There's an old factory right there, ya see, and we'll be meeting there from now on - my book tells me it's all magical and whatnot, some leyline shit going on there. Problem is, people live there. Squatters, really. Ya gotta evict them so we can magic in peace, dig? Think of it as a chance to get a grip on the book and get some practical magic. Any questions? I mean, aside from 'what's going on?', 'cause I already answered that one."
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on August 29, 2013, 08:27:03 am
"No problem, man. I can get my demon knight bro to cut em up and she" - he gestures at Kat - "can summon a T-Rex or something to eat them. Easy peasy. Let's do this!"
Get ready to head out. Incite others to come along.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on August 29, 2013, 08:36:53 am
Halesey tries and fails to not stare at the swirling potatoes. They seemed to form themselves out of the material of the wall. Interesting. He grabs as many of the alcoholic beans as he can find, if he can catch the buggers, and, before leaving the room, decides to try one last thing.
Follow the others if they leave. But first (after trying to catch some beans) try a third time to summon a potato vortex – repeat the same motions and thoughts, but try to summon it out of the material of the bathroom door. Throw my half pack of chewing gum into the vortex to see what happens.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on August 29, 2013, 12:20:50 pm
Post by: Dwarmin on August 29, 2013, 12:34:56 pm
Also, she tentatively tried to stop the rain of dinosaurs by imagining how to do it and then doing it. That's apparently how magic worked.
Action: Follow the procession! And try to make the dinosaur rain stop.
Spoiler: Kats stats (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on August 29, 2013, 01:22:02 pm
Also, if that place is an, uh, ley line, won't other wizards show up at some point, because really, there's just squatters in there, let's just evict them and move on? In fact, are you sure that hasn't happened already? After all, wizards and hobos don't really look any different..." she muses.
"Oh, right. This one's important, almost forgot. Where did you get those books? I don't think that sort of artifact just lies around somewhere."
Follow to factory, anyway.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on August 29, 2013, 02:43:45 pm
Halesey glances towards the window again.
"It seems pretty serious, ay'it... Bastard dinosaurs falling from the bastard sky..."
He sticks out a hand to the others.
"So uh, Benjamin Hales, Black Country Street Hero and aspiring... wizard. Nice to meet you."
Post by: Dwarmin on August 29, 2013, 03:03:31 pm
"Kathryn Jones, if you didn't catch it earlier. I suppose I'm a wizard photographer now. I used to be a photographer, anyway-went all around the world. Lost my job, but oh well, right?"
Post by: lawastooshort on August 29, 2013, 03:12:36 pm
Post by: Dwarmin on August 29, 2013, 03:14:34 pm
"Nice places don't have much exciting news to report, do you think?"
Post by: Errol on August 29, 2013, 03:36:02 pm
Post by: Toaster on August 29, 2013, 04:43:23 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 03, 2013, 09:02:33 am
"No problem, man. I can get my demon knight bro to cut em up and she can summon a T-Rex or something to eat them. Easy peasy. Let's do this!" Larry proclaims, gesturing at Kat to indicate her paleontological proficiency and demonstrating no hesitation in fulfilling the instructions of his magical overlord... for now.
Halesey, meanwhile, considers the importance of the potato vortex swirling right there in front of him. He supposes he should apologize for just tearing a hole in reality like that.
"Uh… yeah… Sorry about that. I wanted to at least do something magical… Have the dinosaurs stopped falling yet? Or yeah, perhaps we should get out of here… Anyone got a car? A uh... non-squashed car?" he relates to his fellows, hoping that someone could presumably help out.
As he speaks, he captures some alcoholic beans, presumably for scientific purposes. He then looks out into the hallway. The bathroom isn't too far away, so he guesses he can try to summon a vortex there as well. He mentally recounts what he needs to do to achieve the necessary results for proper potato vortexes.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->6-1+1]
He gives the bathroom door a good, long look. Yeah, there should be a vortex there. There should totally be a vortex. He concentrates, doing his best to imitate what he did previously. Shockingly enough, it works absolutely miraculously. A depression forms on the bathroom door, expanding and deepening, becoming potatoes in the process. It looks pretty weird even from a distance. In addition, Halesey is slightly glad that he's as far from the bathroom as he is - he can feel the pull even at the door, and it's pretty strong. Not to mention that the potato vortex appears to have consumed the door entirely - where there once was a bathroom, now there is only potato-filled blackness, a hole in the fabric of space that seeks to suck everything into its undiscovered dimension.
Halesey decides it would be wise to throw chewing gum at it. He removes the pack from whatever place he may have kept it in and hurls it toward the vortex. The pack disappears immediately.
Moments later, it flies out of the other vortex, the one in Room 303. Halesey is mildly surprised, and the rest only look curiously for a moment before realizing that it's nothing important.
While Halesey fools around with vortexes, Kat tries to somehow stop the rain of dinosaurs plaguing the city. She tries certain methods, like asking it politely to stop, but it doesn't appear to be quite ready to comply. She can still see dinosaurs falling out of the sky outside, and she has no idea what she can do to prevent such a thing from happening.
Halesey, sensing that something is amiss, goes on and introduces himself to the rest, who follow suit. Well, except for Elizabeth, who interviews the fat man first.
"I guess now is the time to ask - what were you planning to start with this... club? What's our goal as a club? I'm not sure if I agree with shoving people around, even if it's just squatters."
"Well, currently our 'goal' is to become good wizards, y'know. Competent, I mean. Not, like, types who rain dinosaurs down on people randomly. And my sources tell me that a magical base is, like, the first step, and we'll be getting nowhere without one of those."
Ah. Hm.
"Also, if that place is an, uh, ley line, won't other wizards show up at some point, because really, there's just squatters in there, let's just evict them and move on? In fact, are you sure that hasn't happened already? After all, wizards and hobos don't really look any different..."
"That's just a problem that, if it comes up, you'll just have to deal with, yeah. Preferably in a semi-permanent fashion, so there ain't no further trouble."
Elizabeth thinks about this, and then asks her final question.
"Oh, right. This one's important, almost forgot. Where did you get those books? I don't think that sort of artifact just lies around somewhere."
"I copied 'em at home - cost me a load o' paper. They look good, huh? Got the real thing myself, all safely hidden and shit. As for where I found that, I ain't getting into that just yet. Gotta keep secrets, right? It's what wizards do."
Elizabeth supposes that's all there is to it, then. Guess it's time to move on, judging by the way Larry appears to be trying to somehow incite her to come along on this mission of intimidation. The four all head out into the hallway (the fat man follows along after quickly gathering his things, but splits off from the group at some point none of them manage to exactly pinpoint), making sure not to get sucked in by the potato vortex to varying degrees of success. Eventually they reach the stairs and head on out into the street.
To be frank, it is quite chaotic. The streets are littered with dinosaur meat and blood, and one can see panicked inhabitants of both the ancient past and the rather interesting present running all around, not really sure what the hell is going on here. It takes them an hour to get through the dinosaur-filled streets, as there seem to be no buses or anything moving about, and some time after that they reach Import Avenue, a somewhat deserted thoroughfare leading through some scenic post-industrial areas filled largely with rusty junk and very busy hobos going about their business in every sense of the word.
Eventually they reach 17 Import Avenue, which holds the factory in question - whatever it may have manufactured, it clearly hasn't done so in over thirty years, though the building itself, a five-story example of the most boring architecture one might possibly imagine, seems to be in fairly good condition, all things considered. Any obvious holes in the thing appear to have been patched up with random bits of junk and cardboard, and any broken windows seem to have been boarded up. There's not a soul outside the building, though there's clearly people living within - one just has to look at the old guy smoking some unidentified substance while leaning out of one of the fourth floor windows to be sure of that.
Post by: Dwarmin on September 03, 2013, 09:21:07 am
Action: Knock knock!
Post by: lawastooshort on September 03, 2013, 10:12:13 am
Take a look around the exterior.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on September 03, 2013, 10:24:31 am
If the knock isn't answered, break and enter.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on September 03, 2013, 10:47:00 am
Adjust action: take two beans in hand and try to displace them using magic whilst waiting for the door to be answered. Try to displace them somewhere safe, like the floor.
Post by: Errol on September 03, 2013, 11:24:37 am
Wait in the rear. Discreetly conjure some lottery tickets, just in case a distraction is needed...
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on September 03, 2013, 12:11:16 pm
Post by: Errol on September 03, 2013, 12:54:41 pm
"Anyway. I respect whatever's the majority decision here, because we're in this magic thing together. Don't expect me to be enthusiastic about it, though."
Post by: Toaster on September 03, 2013, 12:58:12 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 03, 2013, 01:03:55 pm
"These seem to be very organized squatters..."
Following this train of thought, she heads over to what she thinks might be the front door. Well, a loading dock, at any rate. The point is, she knocks on it.
"Hmm. Wonder if they like potatoes? Or... damn. I wonder if they like being potatoes? Hmm. Do you think knocking is the best thing? If I was in there, which, you know, I wouldn't be, I might think you were the cops... Anyway," Halesey says quite confusingly and confusedly, looking at the factory. Looks like it has a whole bunch of entrances - at least three out front and probably a back one as well, he'd bet. However, that sort of information is not very useful right now, since Kat's already knocked and everything and...
Hm. He supposes he'll just displace two of his nine beans to help pass the time.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->6-1]
He concentrates on the beans, and they do indeed disappear! Halesey feels rather good for a moment until they reappear in his nose, causing him to react with the loudest and probably most painful sneeze of his life, followed by two beans being rapidly ejected from his nostrils.
Well, could have been worse, he guesses - they could have appeared in his brain or something. That would have been a hoot and a half.
Larry, glancing at the solemnly waiting Kat, offers words of his own on the matter, supporting the rather indisposed Halesey's idea.
"He's got a point - why knock when we can just bust in and claim our birthright? I'm sure one of you can shoot lightning or chuck fire by now - a flick of that, a blast of fans, maybe a few raptors, and they'll be gone for good. Once we do that we can go about turning this into a floating doom castle or whatever."
"Oh, and these beans. They, you know, the alcoholic that hobos like, or that hobos might be? Coz they could be useful..."
Elizabeth, also hanging back for the time being, decides to snark a little for the common good while trying to conjure some lottery tickets.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 5+1]
A sizable pile of lottery tickets appears at her feet after she concentrates her will in arcane ways most mortals can only begin to comprehend. They smell magnificent.
"Bleh. We're getting ourselves in a real mess here, I can feel it. What are we gonna do? Charge in, wands blazing? We don't know how many people there are inside, don't know the layout of this place and all the wonderful little hiding spots, don't know what kind of improvised weaponry we could face, don't know what kind of spiteful friends they may have, don't know anything about the consequences of our actions -- oh, fine. Kick the door in. I'm sure everything's going to be alright."
"Well, of course we go in like we own the place, because we do! They just haven't been told yet. What, you have a better idea?"
"Well, I'd have preferred to take a more... lawful approach to the whole thing? You know, never even considering storming a factory, the home of some people at this point, evicting them, making grudges, just because leylines? I'd just have rented a flat right next to the factory. Leylines should still be pretty strong there. Perhaps gone for an arrangement with the squatters - you give us free reign in the basement and don't disturb ever, and we pay in lottery tickets. Or potatoes. Or dinosaur meat. Or, hell, alcoholic beans. Actually, now that I think of it, that sounds like a pretty cool idea. Shame that I got it a bit late..."
"Anyway. I respect whatever's the majority decision here, because we're in this magic thing together. Don't expect me to be enthusiastic about it, though."
"Lawful? Really? We are above the law now. But fine, if some silly sense of morals compels you to do this the NICE way, then why don't you shoot a pile of lottery tickets over there and tell them to have at it?"
And while they chat, a rather large, skeletal-looking man who appears to have suffered from extreme chemical burns at some point in the past (they appear to have healed somewhat, though he's still... erm... missing bits) opens up the door to the loading dock, staring at Kat with mildly glassy eyes.
"What do you want, lady? This ain't a good place for you to be," he says, looking mildly concerned, particularly after noticing the three undesirables hanging around nearby.
Post by: Dwarmin on September 03, 2013, 01:11:15 pm
Anway, I don't really trust the fat man to tell us the entire truth. And if you know what I am, do you think we might be able to figure something out? Again, I'm completely lost here, but at least one of my group is on a power trip and refuses to come down."
Kat blushed quite visibly, knowing everything she said was problem a euphemism for buying drugs.
Post by: Toaster on September 03, 2013, 01:37:21 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on September 03, 2013, 03:17:21 pm
Halesey decides he doesn't have anything useful to add at the moment, although he wonders if there isn't another way... a way between fear and fumbling, a... a third way. He offers an alcoholic bean.
"Look, dude, don't pay attention to these two - well, not yet. They're just feeling a bit weird cos they were totally off their faces a few hours ago and it hasn't worn off yet. Seriously - try one of these, they make you feel pretty damn good. Make you see stuff too. The real high takes a while to come on, but the visions? That comes pretty damn quick. All feckin' organic too if you care about that shit."
Offer an alcoholic bean to the man.
If he takes it, as soon as he swallows it summon a small potato vortex a safe distance away from some scrap material or brick or something like that. Point out the massive hallucination the man is enjoying. Then point out that if he cooperates with us, there are a hell of a lot more where they came from.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on September 03, 2013, 04:29:04 pm
Instead, she decided to go for a little experiment. Could she... sense... magic happening? As some sort of weird-ass disturbances in the great weave of fate? Or the mysterious ley line she perhaps was just standing on? If anything, that should be easy enough providing that such a feat was possible at all. So, worth a try.
Try to mentally sense the ley line. Try to not look like a druggie while doing this.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 04, 2013, 12:17:28 pm
"Oh sure, that sounds believable. Hey guy, there's a big pile of lottery tickets there for you and all your buddies if you get out. If not, well, you hear about those dinosaurs? Guess what we're gonna fill this place with if you don't leave? So your call, we do this easy or hard."
The burned man blinks a few times.
"Look, dude, don't pay attention to these two - well, not yet. They're just feeling a bit weird cos they were totally off their faces a few hours ago and it hasn't worn off yet. Seriously - try one of these, they make you feel pretty damn good. Make you see stuff too. The real high takes a while to come on, but the visions? That comes pretty damn quick. All feckin' organic too if you care about that shit," Halesey adds, offering a set of alcoholic beans to the guy.
There is a tense pause. The burned man's eyes wander over the varied people standing out here, from the suspiciously generous Halesey to the bewildered Kat, from the rather abrasive Larry to ponderous (in a totally non-stoner-like way, honest) Elizabeth.
"I don't mix with you druggie types, no sir, so take your business someplace else, you hear?" the burned man says sternly, then shuts the door. Elizabeth, supposing nobody important is looking right now, assumes a more natural, philosophical, seemingly chemically-assisted posture as she scans for ley lines.
Well... she does sense something, she guesses. Not some kind of huge magical conduit or portal to hell or whatever, though. Maybe a tiny echo of some kind, like a starved child at the bottom of a disused well of some kind. And it does seem to be coming from inside the old factory.
Post by: Toaster on September 04, 2013, 01:46:26 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on September 04, 2013, 02:29:52 pm
Post by: Toaster on September 04, 2013, 02:37:15 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on September 04, 2013, 03:08:28 pm
Halesey pauses.
"Or we could set a bunch of racist beavers on them."
Post by: Toaster on September 04, 2013, 03:22:22 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on September 04, 2013, 03:49:29 pm
Vote for finding an empty building nearby where we can learn another spell or two each, practice what we got, and observe the factory long enough to make sure there isn't already a sect of mages inside. If this happens then read my book until I get two more spell choices.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on September 04, 2013, 04:03:49 pm
Appeal to majority. Also rub face in book more assuming we have the time and peace and quiet.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on September 04, 2013, 06:13:56 pm
Also vote for Plan Halesey, i. e: Prepare some more. Enact the Ink Experiment if we have the time and space: Attempt to retrieve a spell from the binder which has the word 'Ink' (or derivations of it) in its name.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on September 04, 2013, 11:18:00 pm
They still had no idea about the situation. If they were really bums, or maybe street magicians who only looked like bums to fool stupid people-maybe they used 'magic'? Huh?
Either way, they could be dangerous. A fireball to the face, or a pipe to the head amounted to the same thing. And now, of course, they were warned and likely hostile...and she still had no way to defend herself, aside from destroying the block around her in a rain of theropods.
Action: Look through the book some more while we have time, sigh
Post by: lawastooshort on September 05, 2013, 01:55:46 am
"Whatever keeps you from starting violence now. But, yes, I suppose a racist beaver infestation could be a relatively... discrete way to evacuate the building. Move them out with the plagues... Perhaps there's a rear entrance somewhere?"
"I don't want to start violence - now or at all, unless someone starts it at me... I just got carried away with the whole infinite potato power thing, and I think we need to think about this."
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 05, 2013, 11:01:46 am
All together, the habitation levels of the area and the rather deserted nature of the streets lead the expedition to do what they've been remarkably successful at so far - giving off the impression that they are either extremely crazy or extremely stoned. Sneaking off into slightly darker corners of the area, mostly behind or inside of dumpsters, they go on magical journeys of personal discovery.
Halesey, who had hoped for a safer place to do magic in, elects to keep watch. As in, not look at his companions and how far they've fallen. Larry, Kat and Elizabeth, though, don't have such high standards.
[Larry's mind roll: 3]
Larry, upon burying his face in the book, finds himself host to the usual bunch of strange and unusual mental impressions, followed by a booming something giving him bits of power. All in all, little is unusual in his fairly diseased mind.
Spoiler: Larry's Spell Not-Exactly-Choice (click to show/hide)
[Elizabeth's mind roll: 1-->1+1]
Elizabeth, meanwhile, looks into the book, concentrating on the word "Ink", wishing power of some kind relating to that sort of thing. She feels the book react rather negatively to such a suggestion, as though it has been gravely offended in some manner.
~look, that is not how it works, dear. you don't tell me what to do. you ask me kindly and i give you things i feel like giving you. speaking of, have some spells. have them all. they're yours.~
There's not even any mind vortex or crap like that, it's like somebody just plopped some spells into Elizabeth's brain, refusing to put any effort into the action on sheer principle.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's New Spells - Now With Severely Less Choice Involved! (click to show/hide)
[Kat's mind roll: 1-->6]
Kat, supposing she has time, goes on and tries to get more magic as well. The book, however, doesn't seem terribly inclined to help her. It seems to look back at her with its sad, probably extradimensional and totally invisible eyes, as if judging her and finding her wanting. It kind of reminds her of a disapproving parent in a way.
~You know, baby, I'd love to help you, I really would, but I can't help but feel that I'm being exploited here, y'know? Where's the love? Where'd the passion go? Is that all y'can manage, one o' yer bored sighs?~
Larry, meanwhile, emits a tiny giggle at what may be a small revelation from his book just a few steps away.
~See, he gets it, baby. He knows how to treat his one an' only. I'm only askin' for some input here, y'know?~
Post by: Toaster on September 05, 2013, 11:22:19 am
Larry smiled, and spoke into the book. "Oh yes, I feel the enrichment. Oh baby."
Now this seemed an oddball- did it summon a blessed golem or bless and existing one? Maybe he could ask and find out.
"Hey magic talking book of unbelievable power, how do I use those last two spells you gave me? If you can't tell me, you can always just lay more power on me. You're cool like that."
Attempt to ask book how those spells work. If no answer or an answer of no, just try to get more power/spells.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on September 05, 2013, 11:36:03 am
Or maybe I autofailed. This game is screwy with the rules. I don't know if I rolled a 1 or 6. I don't understand anything. :I ))
~Well, don't expect me to get take off my clothes and dance, you stupid book.~ She thought. ~You're clearly some malicious force from beyond the stars that enjoys sowing chaos. So, it's not like you'll be able to resist giving me some stupidly explosive food based magic to entertain you, sooner or later.~
Action: SAY
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 05, 2013, 11:58:30 am
((Ugh, I hate failing rolls I can just repeat immediately, and when I have nothing to do but do the same action again.
Or maybe I autofailed. This game is screwy with the rules. I don't know if I rolled a 1 or 6. I don't understand anything. :I ))
Actually, there are no rolls you can just repeat immediately. Here's How It Works, my rather late attempt at informing my players of how certain things that I normally do not show or repeat actually work.
Spoiler: How It Works: Retrying Things (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: How It Works: Exploding Dice (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: How It Works: My Rules (click to show/hide)
In addition, internal dialogue.
~Well, don't expect me to get take off my clothes and dance, you stupid book.~ She thought. ~You're clearly some malicious force from beyond the stars that enjoys sowing chaos. So, it's not like you'll be able to resist giving me some stupidly explosive food based magic to entertain you, sooner or later.~
~Oh, hey, that's totally uncalled for. Why would I ever want ya to take yer clothes off? You'd be, like, naked. In the rain. If anything, I want ya to get some kind of... cool robe or something, baby. Long, flowing garments are great for wizards, y'know.~
Post by: Toaster on September 05, 2013, 12:00:23 pm
((Or ninja by mod.))
Post by: Dwarmin on September 05, 2013, 03:16:31 pm
~Oh, hey, that's totally uncalled for. Why would I ever want ya to take yer clothes off? You'd be, like, naked. In the rain. If anything, I want ya to get some kind of... cool robe or something, baby. Long, flowing garments are great for wizards, y'know.~
~Oh, I admit, that would be very...wizard.~ She thought. ~So-how about you teach me, very simply, how to enchant an item of clothing? In return, I promise you one-just one-very wizardly cackle. I'm fickle and hard and please, like you, so let's move forward on that fact, right?~
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 05, 2013, 03:27:42 pm
~Oh, I admit, that would be very...wizard.~ She thought. ~So-how about you teach me, very simply, how to enchant an item of clothing? In return, I promise you one-just one-very wizardly cackle. I'm fickle and hard and please, like you, so let's move forward on that fact, right?~
~Hm... perhaps. You'll have to give me a demo, though. Sort of an introduction before you let loose with the real thing, eh? And this'll be a one-time-only deal - don't wanna set a precedent, y'know.~
Post by: Dwarmin on September 05, 2013, 03:32:59 pm
All right, here we go. Don't laugh. I haven't cackled since...~
In fact, Kat brought up the memory of a girl she had hated in high school. The years of bitter acrimony. The sniping, bear baiting and back beating. And on the graduation stage, she had watched as her erstwhile foe had tripped on the wire trailing from the speaker, falling to the floor below, face first. As if Kats mere will alone had struck her down into abject humiliation.
She had laughed then out of pure spite, and she laughed now-out of pure, wizardly spite. But it's only a demo! Save some for the real thing...
Post by: lawastooshort on September 05, 2013, 03:38:28 pm
Get a peacefulish spot and read the book.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 07, 2013, 10:17:55 am
"Hey, magic talking book of unbelievable power, how do I use those last two spells you gave me? If you can't tell me, you can always just lay more power on me. You're cool like that."
There is a moment of unnerving silence in Larry's head, but it quickly abates when the booming voice returns.
~WHY, IT IS SIMPLICITY ITSELF, SILLY MORTAL! SIMPLY LOCATE A VIDEOTAPE DEMON KNIGHT OR SAUSAGE ANGEL GOLEM, OF WHICH I ASSUME YOU HAVE NO SHORTAGE, AND EXERT YOUR MAGICAL POWER OVER THEM!~
Ah.
Kat, after a period of negotiation, decides to cave in to the demands of the voice and, with a little help from her memories of good ol' school, breaks into a jolly, vindictive cackle that she wasn't even rightly aware she had in her - she successfully restrains herself before she spends all of that good mojo, though. Have to save some for later, right?
~Lovely work there, baby. I look forward to you trying that again - cut loose, will you? Life's more fun that way.~
Kat feels a particular spell enter her brain - it's a little different than usual, though it proves easy to retain it.
Spoiler: Kat's New Spell (click to show/hide)
Halesey, guessing he's got to get some magic as well if anyone's going to take him seriously, takes up as nice a spot as he can find, which isn't very nice at all by most standards, though it is quite peaceful indeed. He opens the book and tries to get educated.
[Halesey's mind roll: 6-->1+1]
He lets the book reach into his mind, the knowledge flowing through every neuron, bits of it getting caught on his mortal brain and taking up residence quickly and with the greatest of ease.
Spoiler: Halesey's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
As the people do their research, they notice a rather skinny, extremely filthy guy approach them in the alley.
"Um... hey... I heard, like, people laughing and... um... I was thinking, like, what's going on? You got something?"
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on September 07, 2013, 10:31:09 am
Too bad she was only wearing jeans.
She looked up at the crazy man who was probably a real drug addict.
"No, we're just practicing magic. Can you go away? We don't want you to get hurt." She said, stowing away her Binder. Feeling such an onrush of magical power gave her the temptation to break the mans jaw with an upperct-Kat was tough for her size, and quite strong-but for now she merely smiled politely.
Spoiler: Kats Stats (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on September 07, 2013, 11:02:24 am
Halesey looks up from his study.
"Well. Kinda. I got these mad beans, man. They kinda... make you feel really good. You wanna try one? They make you see some pretty incredible stuff, man."
Offer the man an alcoholic bean. If he takes it, tell him to wait about a minute, and then cast Potato Vortex about ten feet away (and not near my companions!). Pretend not to see it and ask the man what he sees. If he doesn't take it and leaves, then cast Bolt of Indestructible Beans at his back.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on September 07, 2013, 12:56:04 pm
This book seemed to contain lots of power, but it was a bit fickle. Perhaps he should have a bit of a run up to it?
Take some time to prepare myself for a deeper book read.
Post by: Errol on September 09, 2013, 01:01:48 pm
Well... sorry about that. There was just so much she didn't understand about her - would it be correct to call it, or her, this? - partner. So much she had to find out.
Say, how would you feel about just... conversation? Am I the first wizard you, uh, communed with? I hope I'm not overstepping your boundaries here, but... trying is the only way I can make sure. If you told me what you don't want me to do when beseeching you, that'd be fine too... because, in the end. I don't want to piss you off. You are, after all, my window to a strange and wonderful world...
Talk. Except, well, mentally. Try to avoid getting more spells thrust upon me.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 10, 2013, 10:59:13 am
"No, we're just practicing magic. Can you go away? We don't want you to get hurt."
"What? Magic? Does that, like, mean something? Whaddaya mean, magic? Is that, like, something new?"
This fella's a curious soul, clearly.
"Well. Kinda. I got these mad beans, man. They kinda... make you feel really good. You wanna try one? They make you see some pretty incredible stuff, man." Halesey explains, handing one of his alcoholic beans to the guy, who eyes it skeptically.
"Beans? Uh... okay, I guess?" he says after an appraisal, popping the thing into his mouth. At this point, something occurs to him.
"Wait, shit, are you supposed to chew them? Or just swallow?"
"Wait a minute and you'll see, man."
"Uh... okay."
At this point, Halesey decides to go for broke. He decides to summon the dreaded Potato Vortex.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3-1]
He strains his mind to the limit, but nothing happens. He even outstretched his hand and everything. Why doesn't the magic work?
"You okay, man?" he says, still intently swilling the bean inside his mouth, looking a bit ponderous.
The others pay significantly less attention to the guy, with Larry taking a moment to prepare his mind for another contact session with the book - he supposes he'll, like, cast a mental net - that's a pretty good analogy, yeah. And in this magical psychosomatic net, he will capture KNOWLEDGE. And POWER.
Elizabeth, though, prefers to take it easy and just talk to the voice.
Well... sorry about that.
~nah, you didn't know. it's just that i'm kinda... sensitive sometimes. i get ideas. lots of ideas. great ideas. bad ideas. oh yes.~
Say, how would you feel about just... conversation? Am I the first wizard you, uh, communed with? I hope I'm not overstepping your boundaries here, but... trying is the only way I can make sure. If you told me what you don't want me to do when beseeching you, that'd be fine too... because, in the end. I don't want to piss you off. You are, after all, my window to a strange and wonderful world...
~well, i'm kinda shy. so i'd prefer if you didn't go nuts with the questions. makes me uncomfortable. and twitchy. you haven't seen me get really twitchy yet. i once had a panic attack, you know. that was really bad. for everyone. that girl couldn't have seen it coming, oh no. we aren't good friends yet, so i'd like it if you gave me space. lots of space. in fact, don't ask me anything for a while.~
Post by: Dwarmin on September 10, 2013, 11:28:25 am
Kat decided to throw logic where it belonged-out the window!
Action: Cast enchant skirt! on my pants?
Post by: Errol on September 10, 2013, 12:51:23 pm
Elizabeth closed her book, feeling somewhat relieved. Whoever the entity was, it was not malevolent. She just needed to avoid pressing its buttons. And, then, maybe... they could get along. Or, even, be friends.
It would quite possibly the weirdest of friendships. Fueled by her curiosity.
And, how curious was the entity on the other side of the book about her...?
...She snapped back to reality. Reality, in this case, was quite unpleasant. Someone else apparently attracted a hobo, well, then it was someone else's job to take care of him. Introspection... She had been forced to accept a few spells, she recalled... went through them a bit...
Suddenly, what she needed to do was as clear as light.
Acquire hat. Swankify.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on September 10, 2013, 09:36:26 pm
Acquire power via book.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 11, 2013, 02:11:42 am
Cast Potato Vortex again, paying particular attention to the mental imagery of potatoes, about ten feet away (and not near my companions!) in the man's line of sight but not too close to him. Pretend not to see it and ask the man what he sees.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
((comrades, if this doesn't deal with the interloper then I am just going to ignore him and rub my book all over my face, because I need some POWAH too. I also need to figure out some kind of easy ritual that'll allow me not to cast like a total noob.
oh crap wait - who had the alcoholic beans? You swapped them out?? I was going to use them to enslave all the hobos))
Post by: Errol on September 11, 2013, 04:37:16 am
maybe i should re-swap them, though, if the GM allows it))
Post by: lawastooshort on September 11, 2013, 04:56:25 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 11, 2013, 10:18:13 am
In a shocking turn, it does not work. Kat is appalled at the universe's inability to accept that pants really are just skirts for each leg that have gotten conjoined in an unfortunate accident, and feels understandably disappointed when said universe, presumably out of spite, adamantly refuses to accept that there is even a bit of sense in that statement.
Elizabeth, quite confident that her new chums can handle this even newer and even filthier chap just fine, goes on to find a hat. Fortunately, this proves simple - a rather sizable cap she presumes (based on a brief evaluation based on her extensive knowledge of old stereotypes) to be the property of either a trucker or somebody who likes or at least pretends to like Convoy a little too much for their own good seems to be at the mercy of the rather terrifying wind in one of the nearby industrial lots. She seizes it, intent on causing intense swankification.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 4+1]
The cap shifts and twists in her hands as she summons eldritch energies in its direction. It seems to flip in some unusual fashion, becoming very different in the process - for one, it is now made of high-quality leather, which, as Elizabeth supposes from the delicate fur inlay, is probably quite real aside from being magically conjured. In addition, it is probably quite a bit less lice and flea-infested now, not to mention completely pristine and not stained with anything other than the most delectable of fine nectars. Finally, it smells prominently and indefinably of luxury and opulence. All in all, it's much better than it used to be.
Larry, having prepared himself to become like a grizzled mindscape mariner, trawling the depths of untold magic, places his face in the book once again, prepared to obtain more power than one could possibly imagine.
[Larry's mind roll: 2+2]
It is fortunate that he was indeed prepared, as the vast knowledge that attacks his mind is ferocious, almost incredible, a veritable torrent of possibly magical noise, and it is only through his expert ability that he manages to seize even a few bits of powerful knowledge!
Spoiler: Larry's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Halesey, feeling that he has quite a plan here, refuses to give in just yet.
"Er... Yeah. I think. I'm fine. I just took too many beans man. I'm totally tripping."
"Uhm... okay."
Having cleverly deflected suspicion, he tries again, but with less failure! Hopefully!
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->4-1]
This time, he can feel the magic flow through him and out onto a nearby wall, not extremely close to his companions. It's a bit... large, though. And it exerts quite the pull. And smells quite earthy.
[Larry's body roll: 1-->1-1+1]
[Kat's body roll: 4+1+1]
[Halesey's body roll: 3+1]
[Dude's body roll: 2+1]
With the exception of Kat, who grabs a nearby drainpipe, all the people present are then swept off their feet by the vortex, with Larry getting almost instantly sucked into the thing before he can emit as much as a slightly frightened inarticulate exclamation. The dude does little better, also falling over and slowly getting pulled toward the vortex. Halesey is also on the verge of falling over, which he disguises as an opportune crouch to pick up a bean he may have lost.
"Agh! What's going on?" the fellow on the ground shouts to nobody in particular.
"What? I don't see anything," Halesey explains calmly.
"I don't think hallucinations work that way!"
"Why, what's happening?"
"I'm getting sucked into potato hell, that's what's happening!"
Oh my, seems like quite the disturbed individual, Halesey thinks.
Larry, meanwhile, has little time to think. And little to see - just potatoes and infinite darkness all around him, he observes. This darkness presumably holds only more potatoes. Still, could be worse. At least there's air around here. And he can sort of see the mouth of the vortex from here - a few rays of light are consistently radiating toward him from not too far away.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 11, 2013, 10:53:17 am
Post by: Dwarmin on September 11, 2013, 11:09:15 am
What else was she going to do? Drop a dinosaur on it?
((OOC: I'd note the following for those not interested in being turned into french fries.
Quote
Halesey decides it would be wise to throw chewing gum at it. He removes the pack from whatever place he may have kept it in and hurls it toward the vortex. The pack disappears immediately....Moments later, it flies out of the other vortex, the one in Room 303. Halesey is mildly surprised, and the rest only look curiously for a moment before realizing that it's nothing important.
Apparently, it's a potato-portal gun...or something...though, who knows what happens if you get trapped inbetween them? Probably french-fryification! I'd try to cast another portal at a safe distance and see if Larry comes out. Maybe. Who cares, I got a pipe!))
Post by: lawastooshort on September 11, 2013, 11:16:47 am
Post by: Dwarmin on September 11, 2013, 11:21:34 am
Question, what if you cast a potato vortex inside of a potato vortex?))
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 11, 2013, 11:23:52 am
((Question, what if you cast a potato vortex inside of a potato vortex?))
I know I'd certainly like to find out.
Post by: Toaster on September 11, 2013, 10:22:33 pm
Larry muses to himself. Mmm... cookies. Then it's less cookie and more potato.
"Um... help?"
Pick Cookie Barrier. Move toward the possible exit? Put up a cookie barrier to protect myself.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on September 12, 2013, 02:30:51 am
Cast Potato Vortex again, about thirty feet away from the first one, in as harmless (i.e. open) a position as possible. Use the exact same motions and mental imagery as last turn.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
((Toaster, I'm not sure what else I can do, really. Sorry about that. If this doesn't work then I do have two other options, but they are both pretty scientific. Actually three other options, if you include fleeing. The two scientific options would be shoot beans in, or shoot potato vortexes in. Oh gosh, yes, in fact a fourth option would be to find a rope, tie it to something VERY solid, and throw the end in. Crikey. I could attempt that if you'd prefer.))
Post by: Toaster on September 12, 2013, 07:40:29 am
Post by: Tomcost on September 12, 2013, 07:49:37 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 13, 2013, 10:04:10 am
Larry, though, finds himself in a very different situation. Floating through the earthy, potato-filled dimension, he can only feebly suggest that he needs help, hoping that there is some kind of force that might have mercy on him in here.
Well, he can do that and summon up his newfound eldritch power to summon barriers made of cookies, that is. And really, if you can summon cookies, what possible reason could you have not to? So he does just that.
[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->4+1]
He focuses his will on a particular segment of the potato dimension - a segment all around him, in fact. His mind moves almost automatically to address the alarming lack of cookies in each direction, resulting in a pipe-shaped barrier springing up all around him. It is, naturally, made purely of assorted cookies, all of which seem to be in flavors and consistencies he finds pleasing. Not to mention that the barrier seems to be unmoving, unlike the potatoes all around him. Being in a rather snug cookie-rich spot does wonders for his peace of mind, Larry finds, even if it fails to address any overarching concerns of his. Like, for instance, the fact that he is both weak as a kitten and trapped in what may very well be a dangerous and inescapable fate. He must say, this is not really what he envisioned happening to him this morning. Well, at least there seems to be air in here. There's even a rather notable breeze.
In slightly less mystifying place, Halesey tries to open up another potato vortex even while steadfastly denying the existence of the first one.
"Potato hell? Wow, dude, you're totally tripping. It's probably best to kind of lie down in the recovery position and hope it passes, man. It's just a rush, don't panic. It gets much more of a pleasant buzz after."
The guy getting sucked into a vortex doesn't seem to be really listening to him at this point, being busy hanging on to the pavement for dear life. Oh well.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 2-1]
Halesey begins to concentrate on another spot in the area to summon more vortexes to fix the situation at hand, at which point he realizes that the vortex still seems to be pulling him in. Fortunately, when he loses his footing he notices a small potato vortex begin to form beneath him. A vortex that immediately shrinks back into nothingness, too. He's starting to get the feeling that magic isn't really about repeating the same gestures over and over, to be perfectly honest. It hasn't worked for him so far, at least not very well.
[Halesey's body roll: 2]
[Dude's body roll: 2]
Both Halesey and the other guy seem to be drawing perilously close to the vortex, actually. The other guy especially, who looks to be no more than a meter away from the thing and losing ground fast.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 13, 2013, 10:44:48 am
He's starting to get the feeling that magic isn't really about repeating the same gestures over and over, to be perfectly honest. It hasn't worked for him so far, at least not very well.
((Yes but I have no other idea on how to save my comrade from potato hell and I am a responsible citizen. And, you know, nothing has worked particularly well for us yet. I am very close to shooting a bolt of indestructible beans in to save Larry. Or kicking the other man into the vortex. Or just running and praying for Larry's soul whilst saying sorry a lot.))
"Crap."
Halesey decides he doesn't much like vortexes of potatoes and he's getting nearer to one by the second.
"Double crap."
Why should he care about some bloke he'd never seen a few hours ago?
"Extra crap."
Maybe he should just run for his life and never speak of this again?
"Extra double crap."
Unless, he supposed, he suddenly needed a hell of a lot of potatoes, but he couldn't imagine, at the moment, that kind of situtation coming up very often. Crap, was that his foot slipping into the potato hell is was trying to deny?
"Feckin' enormocrap."
And then it hit him. The solution would probably - probably - be to get naked.
"Hey girls. Can I have your pants? I'll give you some beans?"
Swiftly remove trousers. Tie one end to nearest drainpipe. (If possible i.e. consent is given or at least not withheld insert step of tieing other peoples' trousers to own trousers here) Tie other end to foot. Leap in and save Larry, dragging him and his special cookies to safety. Or just him, given that there seem to be a lot of cookies.
((the worst that can happen is I end up naked in a swirling hell of potato, and if that happens then I have a plan))
edit: Sheet:
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
edit: sweet, naked potato hell high fives all round.
Post by: Dwarmin on September 13, 2013, 10:56:14 am
"You planned this all out, I swear." She says, shucking her jeans.
It had to be the day she wore short pink boxers and orange socks...
Action: Give up my pants to form the great chain of heroic rescue rope. Help pull out the boys. Hold onto that pipe!
Spoiler: Kat's Stats (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on September 13, 2013, 11:02:26 am
"What the actual fuck. How. Just how."
Remove trenchcoat and assist in whatever the hell they're doing.
Post by: Toaster on September 13, 2013, 11:09:43 am
Attempt to move to the exit. Accept any pants-based help.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Also, see below.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 13, 2013, 12:37:29 pm
[Halesey's body roll: 2]
Thirdly, after he has hurriedly removed his precious trousers, he realizes that he has been pulled into the bloody vortex before he could properly take advantage of either of those things, plunging into potato hell right after the poor dude before him. This, he finds, does not bode well for the prospect of finding any drainpipes. He also notices that he seems to be slowly gravitating away from the vortex's mouth. And that there seems to be some sort of cookie-based pipe floating freely not too far from here.
Kat, having caught a brief glimpse of what Halesey was doing before he was pulled into potato hell, realizes that it... might not actually be a bad idea. At least, it's as good an idea as any. Better than what she's got, anyhow. It might be madness. In fact, it is madness.
But hey, sanity's something you gotta lose eventually in the magical world, right? Kat, still clutching the drainpipe, quickly removes her pants and ties them around the life-saving fixture, somewhat regretting her choice of wardrobe today. She reaches for the portal, finding that her hand barely reaches the vortex.
It is at this point that Elizabeth, possibly led astray by her admiration of her wonderful new hat, finally arrives, only to see a giant vortex of potatoes and a half-naked Kat reaching toward it from what she can only assume is some kind of rudimentary trouser-rope.
"What the actual fuck. How. Just how."
Kat looks at her suddenly, realizing a flaw in her plan. Their eyes meet. Elizabeth is initially confused, but there is something in her look, something altogether unquantifiably persuasive and extremely urgent, something that tells her that this is a brand new world.
A brand new world where she is about to remove her pants and utilize them to save what may, in due time, become her very dear friends or at the very least not entirely hated colleagues. She slips out of her trenchcoat, then aids Kat in the brave rescue attempt, which, as mentioned, involves the timely removal of her pants. She does this, then breaks into a sprint toward Kat.
[Elizabeth's body roll: 1-->2-1]
She is, however, like at least one of her colleagues, completely unprepared for the pull of the vortex, slipping on the wet ground and landing rather hard on the pavement as the potatoes pull her into their infernal grasp - as the confusion in her head clears, she finds that she is at the brink of the vortex, rather near Kat yet closer to the vortex, and getting pulled in fast. It is cold, wet and dangerous on the pavement, particularly for one without anything to cover up their lower halves.
Inside the vortex, not too far from Halesey, in fact, Larry contemplates what to do. Clearly, there are plenty of options. However, most of them are quite terrible, so he guesses he'll just swim for the exit in the terrible tide of potatoes.
[Larry's body roll: 1-->1-1]
This proves to be a bad idea, as he is immediately swept off by the earthy things upon leaving his snug little barrier, the tubers smashing into him like a tsunami and washing him into the eldritch depths of the dimension, further from the exit than ever before. He looks around for the vortex, but finds nothing even vaguely resembling a sign of it - not even the most distant glimmer.
Truly, he is quite lost.
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on September 13, 2013, 01:05:32 pm
Well, surely a little magic couldn't make things worse.
Storm of filthy fans, go! Knock some taters out of the way!
Post by: lawastooshort on September 13, 2013, 01:40:54 pm
Meditate ferociously on the concept of potato vortex. Do not cast potato vortex, but prepare mind by this calming magical ritual to summon the most powerful vortex of potatoes that has yet existed. Meditate thus in the tuber maelstrom for an entire turn, and revel in my increasing nudity. Prepare to become the potato vortex. Prepare to become the archmage of potato. Hold my open folder tight to my chest, raise it to my eyes, call on its mighty power, and submit.
Post by: Errol on September 13, 2013, 01:46:21 pm
Cast a Bountiful Portal of Frozen Napkins somewhere far enough away, outside the potato vortex. Retrieve pants. Put on pants. If I'm going to tuber hell, then it's properly dressed.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on September 13, 2013, 01:53:53 pm
Post by: Errol on September 13, 2013, 03:28:10 pm
Post by: Dwarmin on September 15, 2013, 04:31:17 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 16, 2013, 01:40:33 pm
[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->5+1]
His malleable mind orients itself, mental pathways temporarily reorganizing themselves, each firing off the spell in turn, his entire being momentarily becoming a conduit of magic - fans of absolutely sublime filthiness appear all around him, spreading as far as the eye can see, swatting potatoes left and right, mixing up the tuber tide and pushing against it, not to mention dirtying all the potatoes in a most unnatural fashion. This does not improve visibility, Larry finds, but it does make him feel like he's doing something other than getting inexorably pulled to some form of doom.
In fact, he appears to have a guest. Several, actually. They look like people, except made completely of potatoes and somewhat larger than the average bloke. Their expressions are unreadable, but Larry gets the feeling they are not entirely pleased about something.
Halesey, probably in slightly less trouble than his compatriot, takes a magical approach, but in an altogether different direction. Rather than try unpredictable magic, he does the wise thing and prepares. He tries to meditate upon the vortex, to find some form of sublime meaning in it and himself, to become like the noble potato vortex in his mind and attune oneself to it.
However, somewhere along the way the nagging little voice in his head that has kept chanting "this is a load of bollocks" pretty much every time somebody's tried to read his aura or some such rot takes hold like some sort of skeptical shark monster from the rationalistic depths, refusing to let go and successfully distracting him from any new-age mumbo-jumbo that would unhinge a lesser man. So, not much progress on that front, he finds.
Elizabeth, slightly less doomed than the others but also lacking pants at the moment, decides to strike out at the world in a curious gesture.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 1-->1+1]
However, in her de-trousered state, she can't help but be distracted by the vortex right next to her, which plays havoc with her thoughts, which in turn plays havoc with the spell she is trying to cast! She feels her chest tingle a little, then suddenly split open, a whole lot of frozen napkins rapidly flying out of it as she yelps in panic. The portal overflows, frozen napkins tumbling all around her. Now she is not only without pants, she is also literally freezing her hindquarters off on a bed of ice.
[Elizabeth's body roll: 5-1]
Fortunately, she finds that naked flesh adheres somewhat well to ice, which, while displeasing, currently keeps her from passing into another dimension. Oddly enough, her torso doesn't seem to be harmed in any way aside from what may develop into mild frostbite. Elizabeth uses the slight breather and persuasive stimulus to regain a little ground and put her pants back on.
Kat, quite satisfied where she is right now (as in, not in the middle of a frozen napkin eruption), keeps hanging on to her pants that are rather securely tied to the pipe, and offers a helpful hand of salvation to Elizabeth, who seems to be having a slight frozen napkin problem, to put it in civilized terms.
Post by: Dwarmin on September 16, 2013, 01:46:44 pm
Action: Love the pipe. Never gonna give it up. Never gonna let it down.
Post by: Toaster on September 16, 2013, 02:04:59 pm
Search for the exit! Put up another Cookie Barrier if the potato men threaten.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 16, 2013, 02:41:25 pm
((Man, this portal is lasting a long time...and, looks like Larry is about to be mashed by potato elementals. How embarrassing.))
Actually, I forgot to roll for something for Kat this turn - she, unlike Elizabeth, notices that the portal looks a lot flimsier now.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 16, 2013, 03:13:11 pm
Halesey searched about. His trousers were nowhere to be seen. There... seemed to be no solution, if he cannot focus his mind and make things right. He'd wanted to save his briefly-known comrade, but all thoughts of others had now left his potato-battered mind. He thought he could rely on his wits to save him; they usually had. But this time his so-called wits had led him semi-naked into what was most definitely potato hell, and his fail-proof plan had failed.
Well, at least, one part of it had failed, it seemed. He couldn't bring up the mental potato. He couldn't become the vortex.
But he couldn't bloody reach the trousers he'd so gleefully caste off either, so he figured he might as well just try to summon the most ultimate power he'd ever known in what seemed like it was going to be his short life.
He hoped at least that the spirit contained in his grimoire would recognise, would appreciate the effort to focus, and the sincere belief that he'd tried to feed into what he was about to do.
He hoped it wouldn't fail like the more than half the times he'd tried before.
He closed his eyes and felt the potato vortex form.
It felt a bit like wearing wet jeans.
Unless by some miracle I fall out of the vortex (in which case drop to my knees and praise my book wholeheartedly whilst rubbing my face in it and opening myself to it body and soul) cast, one final time, Potato Vortex. Assuming it works, leap into the vortex within the vortex. If it fails, try to... leap out of the vortex, and try not to whimper in despair.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
((Really sorry about the portal dudes... Um.))
Post by: Errol on September 16, 2013, 05:45:39 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 17, 2013, 11:36:31 am
In slightly more interesting news, Larry becomes wary of the potato people all around him. They surely cannot mean him anything other than grievous harm. He attempts to swim off toward something like an exit.
[Larry's body roll: 1-->4-1]
By which it is meant that he just tumbles on without a very good idea of where he is going and why shouldn't he just go with the flow. The potato people, however, give chase!
[Finesse: Potato People vs. Larry: 2+1 vs. 3]
They act simultaneously, a particularly determined potato person lunging after Larry even as the latter tries his best to invoke another cookie barrier!
[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->2+1]
Larry is immediately encased in a solid capsule of cookies, arresting the progress of the mischievous potato people before they can get their tuber-encrusted hands all over him. Ha-hah! Let's see them get through that!
Halesey, slightly less bothered by the very element of potatoes, postulates that there is no problem a potato vortex can cause that in turn cannot be solved by a potato vortex. Since he doesn't seem to be falling out just yet, he opts to test this idea.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5-1]
For a moment, he gets it - the potato vortex. It seems so elegant and simple, so very easy to put into practice. In an effortless motion, he points his arm outwards, and a potato vortex within the potato dimension appears! Oddly enough, it seems to work somewhat differently than expected - as in, it just looks to lead back to the world of the conventionally living. There's probably a lesson about the fabric of the multiverse in there, but Halesey doesn't have time to ponder it just yet. He wants out, and he wants out right now.
[Halesey's body roll: 3]
Swim as he might, he doesn't quite make it right to the mouth of the smaller vortex, which appears to lead to a place near to the alley, but he gets pretty close - he can almost poke his head right through it, actually. And this vortex doesn't seem to suck quite as hard as the other one, in both conventional senses.
It is at this point that he is violently shoved forward by what is very obviously a mighty hand, his body getting flung through the vortex and landing on some very wet pavement. The air feels quite fresh, at least compared to whatever air was in the potato dimension. Sure, it might have up to five times as much benzene in it than is legally permitted, but at least it's not choking him with massive amounts of potatoes.
At the larger and slightly more powerful vortex, Elizabeth does her best to get away safely.
[Elizabeth's body roll: 3-1]
She doesn't really get anywhere, partly because of all the frozen napkins and partly because of the attractive force of the vortex, and does actually seem to be slowly getting pulled in again! For a moment, she begins to feel mildly panicked, but then the portal does the world a favor and collapses already, rapidly decreasing in size and power until it is but a point, which then blinks out of existence. Elizabeth breathes a sigh of relief, then tries to somehow dismiss the frozen napkin portal on her chest.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 3+1]
As she focuses upon it, willing it to disappear and stop being such an ungodly hassle, it lessens in size slowly, and disappears eventually. The frozen napkins seem to be more permanent, even now littering the alley in great quantities.
Post by: Dwarmin on September 17, 2013, 11:48:15 am
"So, uh, about Larry...yeah...too bad...I don't know about all of you, but I'm going home before you all get me killed or...potatoe'd...I need a change of clothes, and more besides. Good luck with the bums."
She was still hanging onto the pipe.
Action: Time to get a bus ride back to my apartment! Party split!
((Honestly, I'm not quite sure what we're accomplishing in this game :P Lolrandom all the time. I just spent six turns holding onto a pipe.))
Post by: Tomcost on September 17, 2013, 11:52:14 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 18, 2013, 11:29:00 am
Post by: Dwarmin on September 18, 2013, 11:39:38 am
Post by: lawastooshort on September 18, 2013, 11:49:48 am
Post by: Toaster on September 18, 2013, 12:00:25 pm
((sorry, thought I had and will do thisevening in 2-3 hoursnow)
Well, that's one immediate problem solved. Hmmm... maybe ask the book?
"Hey book, how should I get out of here? Any helpful magic you want to lay on me?"
Consult book.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on September 18, 2013, 02:28:54 pm
Halesey looks about him to see who got away.
"Well, I guess going home is one option. But I just saw the power of life and death, man. Book," he says, holding his folder to his face Larry-style, "Show me more, dude. How can I control your awesome power better? How can I better serve the magic? Is there any kind of ritual I can use to honour the power?"
Or, er, something, he wanted to add...
Sit in the nearest corner. Rub face in book. Open self to book.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on September 18, 2013, 03:04:11 pm
"Well. What are you doing now? The whole leyline thing is called off for now? Fine then, I'm going home too. Not a whole lot to do otherwise."
Well, actually, search for a book store/library and browse the occult section. Not expecting there to be anything but bullshit, but one can certainly try.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on September 18, 2013, 03:08:13 pm
"We might need to stay in touch, anyway."
((Assuming the GM lets me leave :P In truth, I'm just getting away from Lawas, not anyone else.
Dwarmin casts party disintegration!))
Post by: Errol on September 18, 2013, 03:22:54 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on September 18, 2013, 03:26:58 pm
((I'm just getting away from Lawas, not anyone else))
((What!?! What did I do!!))
Post by: Dwarmin on September 18, 2013, 04:11:11 pm
((I'm just getting away from Lawas, not anyone else))
((What!?! What did I do!!))
((You potoato'd one of our members to death!
You're a loose cannon, lawas!))
Post by: Toaster on September 18, 2013, 07:29:00 pm
((You potoato'd one of our members to death!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grbSQ6O6kbs
Post by: Tiruin on September 18, 2013, 07:31:31 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 19, 2013, 06:05:51 am
Ah. Yes. Everything seems so much more normal now. She knows what she must do, for the good of primarily herself.
"So, uh, about Larry... yeah... too bad... I don't know about all of you, but I'm going home before you all get me killed or...potatoe'd...I need a change of clothes, and more besides. Good luck with the bums," she says, beginning to leave. She sees Halesey slightly further away, and hastens her step accordingly. Elizabeth, having solemnly warned any people (mostly just Kat) in the near vicinity not to speak of this incident, responds accordingly after dusting herself off.
"Bye, Kat. Can't say I don't want to do the same."
After a moment's pause, she continues.
"Well. What are you doing now? The whole leyline thing is called off for now? Fine then, I'm going home too. Not a whole lot to do otherwise."
Kat doesn't respond in any conventional way. Instead, she just hands Elizabeth her number.
"We might need to stay in touch, anyway."
"Right, sounds good. See ya."
They both then go their separate ways, with Kat taking a bus over to her humble home and Elizabeth looking for a bookstore of some kind. Fortunately, there is one, though not in the industrial district. Takes a while to find it, but it seems like a decent enough place - has lots of used books, too. There's all sorts of weird stuff from the eighties and nineties in here, but not much in terms of occult knowledge, at least nothing that seems particularly legit. Mostly just bargain basement stuff for impressionable teenagers and extremely bored or gullible people.
Larry, still trapped in a potato dimension (and very much alive, contrary to Kat's expectations), tries to get somebody to throw him a bone. Like, say, the book.
"Hey book, how should I get out of here? Any helpful magic you want to lay on me?"
The booming voice suddenly returns to his head, loud and dramatic as ever.
~LET'S SEE, MORTAL! CAN YOU HANDLE THE INTENSE, BOUNDLESS POWER?~
[Larry's mind roll: 1-->1]
Eldritch knowledge rapidly floods into his brain as the book lets loose. He tries to close the thing, but finds that it doesn't help. The book momentarily fuses with his mind, filling it with the most amazing knowledge. It still tingles in a really bad way, though.
Spoiler: Larry's New Spells! (click to show/hide)
Hm. Maybe not quite what he had in mind.
Halesey, meanwhile, tries to figure out who else got away from the vile vortex of potatoes. After doing a headcount, he confirms that he is indeed alone in an alley without a pair of pants to call his own. In certain circles, these are known as highly dangerous circumstances.
"Wow. Sweet. Free at last."
Halesey looks about him, sure that nobody's around. He then proceeds to monologue right ahead, perhaps to provide the universe with a justification for his actions.
"Well, I guess going home is one option. But I just saw the power of life and death, man. Book, show me more, dude. How can I control your awesome power better? How can I better serve the magic? Is there any kind of ritual I can use to honor the power?" he asks, holding the book up to his face.
~Man, I'm not sure I can give you all of my secrets just yet, even for a nifty ritual. How about we start slow? Maybe get to that leyline. Then I might trust you a bit more. Anyhow.~
[Halesey's mind roll: 6-->5+1]
Ooh, if this is the book's idea of starting slow, Halesey wonders where they'll both end up at this rate. He feels like he is enveloped in a magical, sparkling cloud of wondrous refreshment. It fills his eyes, his mouth, his nostrils and his ears, streaming into his brain and creating an odd sensation not unlike drowning. Halesey's mind perseveres, however, fishing out a great many magical tools from the magical mishmash of enchantment!
Spoiler: Halesey's New Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Ah, now that's more like it. Now Halesey can-
The rather insensible guy who pestered him earlier is violently chucked out of the vortex suddenly, landing in a shivering, whimpering, yet also seemingly unharmed heap at his feet.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 19, 2013, 06:59:44 am
It kind of came out without Halesey really thinking.
"That's some pretty cool power man. Shame I didn't get 'Summon Trousers' or something, but never mind. Oh hello," he added, seeing the pile of man at his feet. He realised very quickly that he should not undress the man and steal his trousers.
Well, the potato vortex works too well to give up... and the beans, well they are complementary. I know which two of these seem useful, but I could probably remember one more... Tuberculosis seems kinda cruel, I doubt it would kill anyone straight off, and do I even want to kill? And Rain of Shampoo? That might kind of just attract attention like them dinosaurs. I never met that many lounge singers, so I dunno about that one. And frozen sausage pillar? It's like that one was made up just to remind me of my nakedness. I guess I could set up as a butcher if I mastered it though...
Halesey thinks, and selects his spells, realises his cash and keys were in his trousers, and decides to act.
"Dude," he says, addressing the guy on the ground and offering his expensive stolen watch. "I'll swap you this watch for your clothes. Don't try anything funny or you're going back in the potato hole."
Try to equip grubby new clothes peacefully. Summon Stupid Desk Shield to see what it does. Once the desk is unsummoned or if it fails, head back to the factory with the laylines and scout out the back. Cast Rain of Shampoo. Looking as bedraggled (and shampooed) as possible try and get in politely and explain that I got kicked out my appartment and I really just need somewhere to stay and jesus christ did you see the rain it's the end times, man, let me in. No, I'm not one of those guys that tried to get in earlier. I've got dirtier clothes.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on September 19, 2013, 07:10:24 am
...
After a quick shower and a small meal of energy bar, orange juice and ham sandwich, Kat reached into her closet and took out the swishest skirt she had-probably left over from senior prom...and, yes it still fit...!
Time to work some magic?
...
Action: Cast enchant Skirt. On the Skirt.
Spoiler: Kats Inventory (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on September 19, 2013, 08:33:26 am
With that, it was time to take out the trash.
"Time to fry, potato men!"
Alkaline Trouser Golem Beam, go! Once the potatoes are chipped, find the way out.
((sorry, thought I had and will do thisevening in 2-3 hoursnow)
Well, that's one immediate problem solved. Hmmm... maybe ask the book?
"Hey book, how should I get out of here? Any helpful magic you want to lay on me?"
Consult book.Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 20, 2013, 07:46:51 am
"Dude, I'll swap you this watch for your clothes. Don't try anything funny or you're going back in the potato hole."
The guy on the ground doesn't respond, instead choosing to keep on whimpering while assuming a fetal position. Halesey takes that as a form of consent, and promptly loots the man's clothes, appreciating their grubbiness after prying them off the dude, who doesn't resist. Good for him. Halesey leaves the watch on the now-naked form of the man, making off with the clothes, which consist of a hoodie so grubby, he cannot quite determine what its original color might be, and a pair of woolen slacks of uncertain origin that make him very itchy.
Now, he's got new powers. Time to test them out.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5-1]
He thrusts his hand outward, and lo, a shield forms! It is made of desks that look like something one would ironically buy at a garage sale if they were completely insufferable people. To be honest, it's embarrassing to be seen with a shield like that in public. Even if it floats under its own power and seems rather solid. Halesey shrugs and keeps on moving, choosing to leave the thing alone for now. It doesn't quite disappear, but it also doesn't follow Halesey, so he supposes it's all right for now - what magical things have been known to last for very long? Rushing onward, he scouts out the back of the former factory. He finds that it has several back entrances, not to mention a fire exit (sure, it only reaches down to the second floor, not having been extended further but Halesey guesses it might still be an option nonetheless). Clearly, a distraction is in order.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->6-1]
However, try as he might, Halesey just doesn't have it in him to summon up a rain of shampoo. It just feels so unnatural for some reason. Come on, shampoo raining from the skies? That can't possibly work. Dinosaurs, maybe. But shampoo?
Quite a long distance away, yet more magic happens, this time wrought by the hands of the somewhat cleaner Kat, who, after picking out a rather swishy skirt from her wardrobe, attempts to enchant it.
[Kat's affinity roll: 6-->5]
Directing her attention to the make of the skirt and the power she can unlock within it, she lets her spell off, watching it run wild through the fabric, infusing it with a particular, mystical power! The skirt glows briefly, then becomes sort of normal-looking after a moment. Kat wonders what might have happened to it. It doesn't look any different, though something definitely happened to it.
Meanwhile, back in the potato dimension, Larry realizes that there is one thing he must definitely do now. The powers that be have granted him spells, and he'll use them, by all the gods one cares to name!
[Larry's affinity roll: 4+1]
He points his palm where he presumes the potato men to be, and lets loose a beam of alkaline trouser golems, which immediately tears through the wall of the cookie barrier, streaming through into the swirling mass of potatoes. The golems, when they come to a rest, try to scurry off quickly, but find nothing solid to try and hold on to, flailing about ineffectively. Larry notices immediately that several potato people set upon the golems, grabbing a few at a time and quickly moving away, then returning to repeat the same thing again.
He guesses they're sufficiently distracted, then! Move out!
[Larry's body roll: 6-->2-1]
Larry dives out of the hole in the barrier and begins to swim for his life, to swim like his swimming coach had always told him to swim, to swim like a cliche wrapped in hot air! He navigates the sea of potatoes, hoping to escape the depths of this tubery hell.
[Larry's mind roll: 2+1]
Sadly, it seems that it takes a bit more than just a strong survival instinct to actually save oneself - Larry swims here, he swims there, he swims everywhere, and it is only after about five minutes of ceaseless, rapid swimming that he manages to see something - a vortex! A small one! He swims toward it, feeling his doughy muscles weaken from the massive exertion, his heart beating like mad. He swims quickly, but alas, it is not quite enough! The vortex, which must have seen his valiant effort, quickly snaps shut! Larry, quite surprised, breathes heavily as he floats through the thick void, potatoes beating against his fragile face in what he hopes better not be a mocking fashion.
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on September 20, 2013, 07:54:16 am
Halesey felt that the magic, though wanting him to act, was also resisting him. He had to fulfil its desires and find the leyline.
Try to get into the factory. Then try to locate the leyline.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on September 20, 2013, 07:57:16 am
Touch it, wear it? see if there's any effect
If there's none, see if the fabric is perhaps enchanted strength-try to snip a bit at it with scissors
Spoiler: Kats Stats (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on September 20, 2013, 07:59:42 am
Post by: Toaster on September 20, 2013, 08:35:27 am
This was bad. Stuck in a potato-based vortex with no way to get out. Hmmm... check those spells? Well, with no mugs, pudding, or demons around, his options are quite limited. The golem beam was useful, but it won't help right now. Larry couldn't see any help from evoking mucus, though it might make him feel better.
At least he won't starve here.
Taste a potato. Ask the book for help.
"Hey book, any brilliant insight on how to get out of this one?"
((Wow, I butchered that last sheet inclusion. That's what I get for not previewing.))
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on September 20, 2013, 08:41:47 am
((although let's face it, I'm unlikely to not try to cast it again soon anyway...))
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 20, 2013, 09:32:26 am
Kat, feeling like there is something to determine here, picks up the skirt.
Suddenly, there is the sound of something massive moving through the air accompanied by the sound of the entire populace of China busily sandpapering something. Huh.
Elizabeth keeps on looking through the various books. She likes books, after all. Books are nice.
About half an hour of browsing turns up three copies of the Holy Bible, Ebonics Version, a rather well-preserved edition of Spawn of Fashan, a copy of The Poacher of Camden: the James H. Hjolgvardsen Story, plus there's a whole bin that's full of obscure Philips CD-i edutainment games. All in all, interesting stuff.
Larry, quite disappointed as well as exhausted, lets loose a cry of frustration.
"Motherfucker!"
Having impotently raged at the void, he resumes his efforts to not die. He begins by catching a potato and putting his mouth over it.
Yep, it's definitely uncooked and tastes accordingly terrible. Okay, something more helpful.
"Hey book, any brilliant insight on how to get out of this one?"
~NO! HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THROWING MORE MAGIC AT THE PROBLEM? IN MY EXPERIENCE, THAT USUALLY HELPS. I CAN EVEN TEACH YOU MORE SPELLS!~
Larry would answer, but he notices a potato man draw near, carrying two trouser golems in its arms. It looks where the vortex once was, extremely disappointed from the looks of it.
Post by: Dwarmin on September 20, 2013, 10:12:57 am
((Also, where is the noise coming from? Inside the room? Outside my window? Inside my head?))
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 20, 2013, 10:24:16 am
Suddenly, there is a sound that reminds Kat sharply of a rather large airplane swooping about a meter above her head, only this sound seems to be coming from the floor.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 20, 2013, 10:33:50 am
Open the door. If this fails, open it harder.
Post by: Dwarmin on September 20, 2013, 11:00:36 am
((I'm not on enough drugs to understand whats going on anymore.))
Post by: Toaster on September 20, 2013, 02:54:15 pm
Evade the potatoman! Evoke the SHIT out of some filthy mucus if I can't get away.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 20, 2013, 02:58:04 pm
Post by: Toaster on September 20, 2013, 02:59:07 pm
((Dwarmin I'm pretty sure you need to put the skirt on and leap, say off the bed, and I'm pretty sure you will fly. Sleep deprivation is almost as good as drugs on a cognitive level.))
((Damn it, I only have so much space in my sig.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 21, 2013, 03:25:46 am
[Halesey's body roll: 5]
With his mighty running shoe, he kicks at the door. He is somewhat surprised when his foot goes right through the thing, leaving a large hole. Huh. Guess a few decades of neglect and acidic conditions will do that to a metallic object. Halesey widens the hole a little with a few more kicks, then pokes his head and arms in.
Ah, it seems to have a bolt on it. Halesey unbolts the door, then opens it right up, stepping into the room. He immediately comes face-to-face with a very skinny, bearded man whose general looks remind Halesey of an Asian Jesus, albeit a version that evidently likes to hit the hooch a bit more than one would expect from a bringer of righteous salvation.
"Whoa whoa whoa. Why'd you do that, man? I was gonna open up!"
Kat, somewhat confused, walks over to her bathroom, trying to ignore the whooshing noises that are comparable to those of a massive prehistoric beast beating its savage wings nearby. She deposits the skirt on the tiled floor, at which point she hears that sandpapery sound combined with the swooping sound. Gazing at the skirt suspiciously, she steps out of the bathroom and closes the door. Both of these processes make no suspicious sounds, fortunately enough.
Moments feel like minutes as Kat wonders if something else might happen. Before long, something does. It sounds not unlike the landing gear of several airliners pressing down on tarmac.
Larry, realizing that there is probably some really bad blood between this guy and him, tries to quickly scurry away into the swirling potatoes before he is seen.
[Larry's body roll: 5-1]
Fortunately, Larry's survival instincts prove true as he half-clambers, half-dives away, reaching what he presumes to be safety or at least privacy within moments. Man, he's pretty sure each and every muscle in his body is going to hurt like hell the next morning. If there is a next morning, that is.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 21, 2013, 03:29:25 am
Post by: Dwarmin on September 21, 2013, 03:31:32 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 21, 2013, 03:36:45 am
((I was mostly checking if the sound was somewhat muffled behind the door))
It is... a little. Almost imperceptibly, considering how loud it is.
Post by: Dwarmin on September 21, 2013, 03:55:31 am
Well, I'm completely lost as to what to do any more.))
Action: Kat tries to magically lower the loudness of the skirt.
Post by: Toaster on September 21, 2013, 01:24:43 pm
"Okay, book, we'll do it your way. Lay some more magic on me."
Get magic laid on me.
Post by: Errol on September 21, 2013, 01:41:59 pm
"Hm... nah, not buying anything today. Kinda feeling lucky now, though. Let's do this magic thing again..."
Onwards to my apartment. Once arrived, sit down, get a tea and start a binder reading session - exchange mental greetings and see whether the counterpart's in the mood of bouncing a few new spells off me. No questions, don't stress her - just try and get her comfortable.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 21, 2013, 01:56:10 pm
"Whoa, sorry bro, I guess I just thought no one was coming and it's been a long and weird day, man. Can I come in and crash on the floor somewhere?"
"Uh... sure? We've got, like, food, too. Hungry?"
That's awfully kind of the guy, Halesey thinks. Guess not all squatters are total assholes!
Meanwhile, back in Kat's apartment, magic happens! Or Kat hopes it might happen, at least. She tries to intuit a way to lower the loudness of her skirt, but is woefully unsuccessful, as she notices when the fly that had settled down on it flies away, which makes the same aircraft landing sound, but in reverse.
In yet more distressing circumstances, Larry caves in to the pressure of his obnoxiously loud companion.
"Okay, book, we'll do it your way. Lay some more magic on me."
He places his face firmly into the book and hopes for the best.
[Larry's mind roll: 3+1]
The magic does indeed happen, though not quite like before - Larry supposes it makes sense. After all, you can't just storm through power levels like it was nothing. Power levels have to have some kind of gravitas, you know? Otherwise, before you know it, you go over nine thousand and it just gets more ridiculous from there with the serial escalation.
Spoiler: Larry's New Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Elizabeth, not in the mood for either sacred ebonics or edutainment, heads on home without buying anything. She thinks one of the clerks at the store may have given her a mildly desperate look. She wouldn't blame him - she was there for over an hour, and she did not see another soul browsing anything.
In any case, she decides to go for a spot of tea once back in her safe little den, followed by a little study time. She greets the book mentally.
~ah. hello. so, are you going to get some spells?~
Elizabeth confirms that this is indeed the case.
~excellent. was becoming a tad antsy. magical powers go and all that.~
[Elizabeth's mind roll: 4+1]
Before Elizabeth can fire off another thought, the book sends a stream of rather off-putting nonsense into her brain. Elizabeth handles it about as well as can be expected - used to inconsistency in her associate, she does her best to fish out usable bits of power from the chaos. And she does seem to have succeeded most admirably.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's New Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on September 21, 2013, 02:31:25 pm
Keep the mental connection open, but don't do anything. Leave the initiative to... her, and go along with whatever she does.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on September 21, 2013, 02:45:10 pm
Thank the dude and try my best to fix the damaged door. Accept offer of food and chat with the squatters about nothing in particular. If I get a moment free alone wander about and try to feel the power of the leyline.
Post by: Toaster on September 21, 2013, 08:34:05 pm
"Hit me with some tea, boss. That mug spell can go."
Replace coffee with tea. Fire it off.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on September 22, 2013, 03:41:03 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 22, 2013, 02:10:31 pm
Pigeon barrier sounds good, thanks. Now then, what shall we do...
The voice doesn't immediately reply.
~are you asking me?~
Elizabeth vaguely affirms that the voice is free to make suggestions, at any rate.
~more magic, then? good to have more magic.~
A bit disappointing, but Elizabeth supposes it couldn't hurt.
~let's go, then.~
[Elizabeth's mind roll: 3+1]
A round of moderately disturbing imagery later, Elizabeth feels like she has yet another choice ahead of her.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's New Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
There is a moment of quiet as Elizabeth wonders whether magic is the only way she can relate to the voice. And whether the voice wonders about the same thing.
Halesey quickly thanks the guy for allowing him to crash here. However, just as he is about to go on his business, he recalls that he kind of did bust out the door. So he should fix it like a good houseguest, right? He looks around, easily locating a handy plate of scrap metal, a brick and what may have been perfectly good nails some fifteen years ago. He then nails the plate over the hole, supposing it's a pretty good fix, all things considered.
"Nice work, dude!" the Jesus-lookalike says, which Halesey can't help but feel a little proud about. At this point, he accepts the offer of food, and his new friend takes him over to a pretty nice fire they've got going on the factory floor - there's six people grouped around it, four guys and two women, all looking to be of various ages and origins. One of them has a pretty old-looking guitar, but he isn't the one who stands out the most. The one who stands out the most is one of the women - she, unlike her comrades, appears to be a big fan of dressing in a business casual manner. In addition, she looks less unclean. They look a tad perplexed when the Jesus-man takes Halesey over to them.
"Hey, guys, this guy wants to stay here a while."
The others nod and murmur in assent, apart from the unusual woman, who eyeballs Halesey suspiciously.
"I think you're good, man," the friendly fellow says, seating Halesey in a fairly nonchalant fashion and fetching a can of something called "Tourists' Breakfast", then handing it to him along with a can opener that's seen better days. Halesey looks at the group of people. Aside from the woman, they don't really look back.
Still in the potato dimension, Larry tries a nice spell.
[Larry's affinity roll: 5+1]
As he summons up the power of telescopic tea, whatever that is, his right hand glows with a suspiciously pleasing golden brown light. For some reason, he wants to touch something with it.
Kat, not sure that the skirt heard her over the sound of its own awfulness, tries again. Her mind is centered on the skirt, and, in one incredibly charged second, she shushes it. She shushes it like a librarian would shush her most hated enemy, with enough intensity to strike a full-grown man mute for at least an hour, if not more. The skirt glows for a moment, then stops doing so. Hm. Wonder what that did exactly.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 22, 2013, 03:46:16 pm
It made Halesey wonder what he looked like after his day as he went over to find out where was best to sleep.
He had no idea what he was going to do, but somehow he had to find that leyline. Or just dump the damn folder and be done with this crap, but then what if someone even less mentally stable than him found it?
The thought kept going round and round as he tried to rest. That and the woman's strange look.
Finish eating. Make sure folder is well hidden under all clothes next to skin. Politely ask nearest mumbler where I can crash on the floor without getting in the way. Sleep if possible.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on September 22, 2013, 04:55:11 pm
She continues along this vein, attempting to create her own silencing spell instead of going back to the crazy folder.
Spoiler: Kats Stuff (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on September 22, 2013, 07:31:10 pm
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 23, 2013, 02:06:34 pm
He eats it anyway. It's actually a bit better than it smells, though it still makes him feel like his mouth needs a hot shower afterward. It is at this point that he becomes quite glad that he has the folder tucked safely away underneath his clothes - much safer that way. Less prying eyes, yes.
He politely asks the group where a man who is tired beyond his years can crash in his journey through this crazy thing we call life.
The mumblers don't seem very talkative. One of them, the guy with the guitar, looks up at him and shrugs. Halesey's eyes wander along the group, stopping on the strange woman, who seems to be asking him a question.
"Who are you? You look new. Are you one of the druggies?"
Well, that's terribly blunt of her.
Kat, feeling that this is quite the triumph on her part, fist pumps the air like a true winner. Feeling like she's on a roll, she decides to take it one step further, trying to devise a spell entirely on her own!
However, try as she might, the magic just doesn't happen. Damn. And she felt so good about this, too.
~Baby, ya can't do magic like that. It's not the way o' things. Too ineffable for ya, see?~
Larry, unsure what his hand might do now, grabs a potato with it. The glow immediately passes along to the tuber, at which point it starts to feel oddly... viscous. And stretchy. Huh.
Post by: Dwarmin on September 23, 2013, 02:25:42 pm
Post by: Toaster on September 23, 2013, 02:29:13 pm
Manipulate the teatato. See if I can see through it or stretch it or whatever.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 23, 2013, 02:29:42 pm
~I would like to point out I just magically silenced that skirt I had just magically loudened. Ergo, I've developed an entirely new facet of the spell that was not originally intended.~
~Naw, baby, that's just you dialin' down the enchantment. You can do that if you've done the thing all nice-like. You can also dial it back up. Just gotta get used to it, y'know?~
Post by: lawastooshort on September 23, 2013, 02:47:23 pm
Sorry, guess you don't want my life story eh. No, I ain't a druggie and I try my best not to drink. Like a smoke now and then which I guess is a little backwards, but you know...
Look, I don't wanna be any trouble and if you don't want me round here I'll leave, but if I could just sleep indoors tonight that'd be sweet. I ain't here to freeload neither."
Post by: Dwarmin on September 23, 2013, 03:13:18 pm
~I would like to point out I just magically silenced that skirt I had just magically loudened. Ergo, I've developed an entirely new facet of the spell that was not originally intended.~
~Naw, baby, that's just you dialin' down the enchantment. You can do that if you've done the thing all nice-like. You can also dial it back up. Just gotta get used to it, y'know?~
~So, who determines the rules of magic, then? By it's nature, there's no logic to what I'm doing-time travel alone breaks nearly all the rules of physics into flinders. Are you telling me there's limits to the supernatural?~
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 23, 2013, 03:23:36 pm
"No ma'am, I just lost my job 'cos my new boss had something against all the English people comin' over and stealing his nephews' jobs or something, I dunno, I guess he was crazy and we kinda fell out. He kept saying I mumbled but that ay true. So I spent the last six weeks looking for something but there's not real bike shops or anything round here hiring and-
Sorry, guess you don't want my life story eh. No, I ain't a druggie and I try my best not to drink. Like a smoke now and then which I guess is a little backwards, but you know...
Look, I don't wanna be any trouble and if you don't want me round here I'll leave, but if I could just sleep indoors tonight that'd be sweet. I ain't here to freeload neither."
The woman looks at you slightly disinterestedly. Her suspicious look seems to have been replaced by a slightly more uncaring one.
"Eh, do what you want. Can't stop you, anyways."
~So, who determines the rules of magic, then? By it's nature, there's no logic to what I'm doing-time travel alone breaks nearly all the rules of physics into flinders. Are you telling me there's limits to the supernatural?~
~Yeah, babe. Exactly. Everything's got a limit. It's... well, how best to explain this? Hm. Well... there's one thing ya don't quite seem to get 'bout magic - yer usin' it, but it ain't yours, strictly speaking. Not the real magic, anyways. I do the real magic, and your pretty little brain just fishes bits out, y'know?~
Post by: Dwarmin on September 23, 2013, 03:30:01 pm
The question is, who are you?
And thanks for complimenting my brain, I think,~
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 23, 2013, 03:43:26 pm
~All right, so I'm just borrowing the magic from you. I'm going to assume you have no reason to lie to me that I can know, so I'm just going to trust you until otherwise.
The question is, who are you?
And thanks for complimenting my brain, I think,~
The voice is quiet a moment.
~Can't really say who I am, baby. And I gotta say, your brain's the best part about you - it's the one that has the actual magic in it, yeah?~
Post by: Dwarmin on September 23, 2013, 04:05:57 pm
Post by: Errol on September 23, 2013, 06:16:48 pm
'What are you?' The most urgent question. But also one that she certainly wouldn't get answered.
'Why are you granting me magic?' Also kind of an hot topic. An interesting question whose answer could be a vital puzzle piece, but... that might be too intimate? Hm.
'What is magic?' She'd either get a smartass answer or none at all.
'Why does my magic seem so random? I kinda expected proper spells, like a Fireball or a Sleep Mist...' Also out of the question. Could easily be misunderstood...
'Where are you?' Hm... certainly an interesting one. But, would it be answered? ...
Say, would you care for some tea? Could I send you some, somehow?
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 24, 2013, 12:52:10 am
~Alright, so you can't say who you are-can you tell me why you can't?~ She said, blatantly fishing for information now.
~Naw. Them's the breaks, sorry.~
Say, would you care for some tea? Could I send you some, somehow?
~not really. i can't actually drink tea myself.~
Post by: lawastooshort on September 24, 2013, 11:34:24 am
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on September 24, 2013, 11:41:35 am
~"I suppose you have your reasons. Anyway, you've been polite to me so I'll throw you a proverbial bone.
Are you ready to hit my pretty little brain with some more magic...sweetie?"~
Action: Moar Magic!
Post by: Errol on September 24, 2013, 01:17:24 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 24, 2013, 02:50:01 pm
He finds that it extends rather exquisitely, but only in a lengthwise fashion, and not longer than twice its original length. It's also quite gooey. Larry can't quite vouch for its transparency in these low-light conditions, though.
Halesey, upon finishing his can of mystery meat, begins to wander around the factory, getting a feel for the place. Kind of literally, at least in the magical sense. He can't sense a damn thing, though. Maybe the leyline's not very obvious? Even putting his mitts all over the book doesn't work, for Pete's sake.
Anyway. Time to try and displace some beans. He finds a secluded spot (considering that there can't be more than 10 or so people in the rather humongous factory, this is simpler than one might think) takes out a bean and experiments bravely and with the usual regard for his own health and safety.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3-1]
Perhaps fortunately, the bean remains obstinately in its former place.
Meanwhile, Kat tries to sweet-talk the book and giving it a chance to prove itself once more.
~I suppose you have your reasons. Anyway, you've been polite to me so I'll throw you a proverbial bone. Are you ready to hit my pretty little brain with some more magic...sweetie?~
~Am I? I'm always down for magic, baby.~
[Kat's mind roll: 6-->4]
Suddenly, a blast of images runs through Kat's head, visions of forbidden knowledge that modern men or women were not meant to have! It feels pretty good, she must say, if quite perplexing at that. Perhaps being nice to the book had its perks, as she feels that the knowledge comes a bit more easily to her than it did before.
Spoiler: Kat's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
She guesses this counts as magical progress of a sort - after all, this is twice as many spells as her entire list of magic tricks.
Elizabeth, quite engrossed in conversation, tries to curry more favor with the voice.
~Then, what else can I offer you? Up to now I've been all take, no give. Anything I can do to repay that?~
~get that leyline. drink from it. leylines are good for you. and me, in a way. makes magic all better.~
Post by: Toaster on September 24, 2013, 03:11:40 pm
Pocket the teatato and see if I can find a way out of here.
Post by: Errol on September 24, 2013, 04:19:09 pm
Post by: Dwarmin on September 24, 2013, 04:28:56 pm
Maybe she could learn to roll black market cigars...
Action: Forget Enchant Skirt. Kat learns Rouge Bolt, Detonate Dinosaur and Giant Tobacco Boomerang!
And, side action-turn on the TV! Any news about the rain of saurians?
Spoiler: Kats Stuff (click to show/hide)
)Post by: lawastooshort on September 25, 2013, 04:04:57 am
Hum… Maybe that’s not it. Maybe…
Halesey had two ideas in mind. He sits down crosslegged in the centre of his new room, and opens the book. He begins to read.
So, uh, hey, magic… book? I’m totally ready for you to show me something new, man. It’s been a bit of a longer break than normal, so, sorry about that. I’ve been thinking about how to get to the leyline. It’s about here somewhere though, right, so I thought I’d say hello…
Read the folder! Open my mind to more spells!
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 25, 2013, 08:20:47 am
[Larry's body roll: 2-1]
To say that he doesn't get anywhere in the process would be an understatement, though. Man, swimming in potatoes is hard! Who would've thought?
Elizabeth, not quite sure of the particulars of magical conduct in the case of leylines, asks a good question of the voice.
~Okay then... won't bother you beyond this, but how do I drink from a leyline? Do I need a straw?~
~don't think about it. just do it. intuitively, you know.~
Oh.
Some distance away, Kat easily discards the considerate gift of the voice, taking three new spells in for personal use. She then turns on the TV, eager to hear whether she can safely be considered a person of mass destruction just yet.
However, the only thing that greets her is a bit of late afternoon programming, mostly soaps, reruns of some shows and a few cartoons. Guess the news aren't on just yet.
Halesey, figuring it's getting to be that time when one should tend to their magical powers, goes ahead and starts reading the book again.
~So, uh, hey, magic… book? I’m totally ready for you to show me something new, man. It’s been a bit of a longer break than normal, so, sorry about that. I’ve been thinking about how to get to the leyline. It’s about here somewhere though, right, so I thought I’d say hello…~
~You're on the right track, buddy, but tread carefully - don't be too conspicuous, see? Leyline's around, you just have to know what to look for.~
Yeah, yeah. Sure. Let's magic it up, eh?
[Halesey's mind roll: 4+1]
Halesey gets his mind thoroughly rinsed by a mighty flow of magical power, bits of which stick to appropriately receptive sections of his abused brain!
Spoiler: Halesey's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on September 25, 2013, 08:24:26 am
Action: Turn on my homemade police scanner-surely there will be some all points bulletins for dinosaur related mayhem...
Post by: lawastooshort on September 25, 2013, 09:05:56 am
No matter how he expressed it, Halesey was pretty sure that the… magic would be able to perceive his bemusement at the choice of spells visited upon him. He liked kittens, but he didn’t know if he wanted to swankify one. He’d stick with what he had.
”You just have to know what to look for… Well, bother. I think I know what I'm looking for - it must be like, a line of power, man. So what could I do that might be able to detect magical power... Or graphically show up the waves and lines of raw magic... Ok, so it might not have gone well the last time I tried, but I think there's only one thing for it.”
Check no one can see me. If not: CAST POTATO VORTEX. Observe the movement of the swirling potatoes. See if there are any clues therein which might lead me to the location of the leyline. If this doesn't work then the only solution will be a meditating ritual or something.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on September 25, 2013, 10:33:09 am
See if I can track the ley line back out of Taterland.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on September 25, 2013, 11:05:48 am
((all out dated now that I realised the best course of action anyway))
Post by: Toaster on September 25, 2013, 12:19:53 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 26, 2013, 06:47:40 am
Right now, there don't seem to be any APBs out or anything, though there certainly is quite a bit of alarm on the various emergency frequencies. People talking about dinosaur containment or something like it, and the apprehending of manic or heavily injured paleontologists on the scene. Now that's better!
In the dark confines of the old factory, Halesey decides to refuse any new spells for now, looking around for any signs of people. Fortunately, nobody seems to be watching him presently. Time for yet another potato vortex!
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5-1]
He's getting better at this, he thinks! The potato vortex forms, though not without difficulty, appearing in front of Halesey, the familiar swirl of potatoes fortunately not triggering any post-traumatic stress or anything. He concentrates upon the potatoes, seeking answers.
After a brief period of thought on the matter, he concludes that the leyline is almost certainly inside of the potato dimension - after all, it's clearly magical. Why wouldn't it be in there?
Deep inside Nevertaterland, Larry, failed by conventional means, tries to sense magical leylines and whatnot - after all, what else can he do? He closes his eyes, taking a good minute to smell the power and smell it good.
His nose tells him that there is indeed a leyline - rather far away, though. It's... wait. Now there's another one - way closer, he'd say. And was that the sound of air rushing inward?
It sounds like a vortex! Or maybe a portal! Time to get to it!
[Larry's body roll: 6-->4-1]
Once again, Larry's survival instinct kicks in, sensing the twin seductive scents of magical supremacy and freedom from oppressive tubers, and he swims without regard for his personal safety straight for the portal - within a minute, he can see it! He swims rapidly, his heart racing and his mind filling with the sweet delight of freedom dangling before his eyes.
He almost expects the gateway to close again, wretched bastards that gateways have proven to be, but fortunately it does not! With a dolphin-like dive and a seal-like yell, Larry plunges out of the potato dimension and into human lands once more, flopping on the ground for a moment as he pants with exertion.
Halesey is a tad surprised, to be honest. He thought the poor schmuck was kind of a goner, the way he disappeared and whatnot.
Post by: Toaster on September 26, 2013, 07:44:57 am
He looks around a moment as he stands up. "Where are we? Where's everyone else?"
Post by: Errol on September 26, 2013, 09:20:29 am
Post by: lawastooshort on September 27, 2013, 03:29:00 am
Halesey paused for a second to look Larry up and down. How come he went through potato hell and wasn’t naked?
”I had a look around, but I can’t really figure out the leyline thing. I dunno if there should be some kind of ritual or something. I’ve got two ideas left – one is to meditate and feel the power of the book, and the other is to use a bolt of indestructible beans to seek out the power line. You might wanna take cover in case I find it.”
Cast Bolt of Indestructible Beans in a random direction (preferably not at Larry) in the hope that the bolt follows the line of ley power!
Post by: Toaster on September 27, 2013, 08:27:24 am
See if I can track down that ley line. Don't get beaned.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 27, 2013, 08:52:00 am
"If I never see another potato again, it'll be long enough. I'd say a hearty fuck you for putting me in there, but at least you got me out again. Thanks."
He supposes that's correct to some degree, if not entirely accurate. At least there was a vortex to swim through thanks to Halesey, anyway.
"Where are we? Where's everyone else?"
Halesey turns to Larry, disturbed from his tuber contemplation.
”Oh, hey dude. Uh. Glad I didn’t kill you in nudist potato hell, man. So, uh, we’re in the factory where the leyline’s meant to be, and the two girls went home. I think they might have thought I was using potatoes to get them naked, ‘cause that’s kind of what happened, so I wouldn’t blame them if they thought that’s what it looked like… Anyway, you should be careful. Anyone sees you having just appeared here they might ask questions, but then it’s huge here and I think there’s not even a dozen people.”
He looks over Larry, finding him to be disappointingly clothed, though somewhat scruffy from his potato altercation.
”I had a look around, but I can’t really figure out the leyline thing. I dunno if there should be some kind of ritual or something. I’ve got two ideas left – one is to meditate and feel the power of the book, and the other is to use a bolt of indestructible beans to seek out the power line. You might wanna take cover in case I find it.”
Larry just shakes his head.
"Whatever, man- there's power here and I want it."
Halesey, not overly concerned with this remark, closes his eyes and goes for a spin in place. Still keeping them closed, he points his hand slightly away from Larry and attempts some more magic.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5-1]
A small, bolt-shaped object made of beans shoots out of his palm, flying toward a wall at a high speed and leaving marks quite similar to what he would expect from some sort of rat-shot. They aren't very prominent scratches, his target being a concrete wall, but they're definitely there. In addition, the thing flew straight. That can mean one of two things - magic does not work like electromagnetism at all or he is the luckiest fellow he's ever had the pleasure of meeting.
Larry, quite satisfied that he wasn't on the receiving end of that, tries to track down the leyline. However, he can't really put his finger on where it might be. Things had seemed so much clearer within the potato dimension.
Maybe Halesey has a point about that meditation thing. Isn't that an honestly frightening thought?
Elizabeth, after wondering what to do next, goes with the grand master plan (or at least the only plan that might be in motion right now) and heads back to Import Avenue after sending Kat a quick text to inform her of this choice on her part.
Her rather well-founded fear that the place might have been eaten by some kind of supermassive potato hole proves to not have been justified, as the factory stands, dilapidated yet somewhat reasonably inhabited just like previously.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 27, 2013, 09:03:21 am
Pick up the beans and pocket them. Lie on the floor, place the randomly opened folder on my face, cross my hands over my chest, and open myself to the tremendous magical power. Not necessarily for new spells, but for the magic inherent in this place.
So… magic… dude. Once I’ve found the leyline – and you said you just need to know what you’re looking for, and I reckon I’ve figured it out that there are… some kind of waves of massive power where we can perform rituals or soak up the power or something – once I’ve found it – or Larry here – then… then I guess we have to come to some kind of agreement with the squatters here. Grant me some more spells if you want dude, but really I want to kind of feel the essence of this place flow through you, if you see what I mean. Course you do, eh. And, hey - you know, there's a woman here, much smarter than all the rest. Suspicious. You wouldn't know her, would ya?
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on September 27, 2013, 10:11:18 pm
PFP
Post by: Errol on September 28, 2013, 05:48:09 pm
(this action was entirely random and I apologize)
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 29, 2013, 02:46:36 am
Post by: Dwarmin on September 29, 2013, 02:54:10 am
((I really have no idea what to do anymore :P ))
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 29, 2013, 04:24:28 am
~So… magic… dude. Once I’ve found the leyline – and you said you just need to know what you’re looking for, and I reckon I’ve figured it out that there are… some kind of waves of massive power where we can perform rituals or soak up the power or something – once I’ve found it – or Larry here – then… then I guess we have to come to some kind of agreement with the squatters here. Grant me some more spells if you want dude, but really I want to kind of feel the essence of this place flow through you, if you see what I mean. Course you do, eh. And, hey - you know, there's a woman here, much smarter than all the rest. Suspicious. You wouldn't know her, would ya?~
~No, not really - nonetheless, do not trust her - people who stare at you are at least 60% more likely to harbor ill intentions toward you.~
Oh. Hm. Well, time to center oneself and all that. He oohms and aahms, hoping to defeat skepticism and all the various noises of the area through sheer persistence. It sorta works, and now he's more empty-headed than usual.
Strangely enough, he does kinda sense something now. Previously, it felt a bit drowned-out in the general white noise of everyday life, but now Halesey feels kind of silly for missing it. There's a big thingy that he can sense, and that is somewhere upwards from here. There's also several smaller thingies, two of them next to him and one not too far from the big thingy.
All of these feel strange, he must say.
Larry, noticing Halesey sitting slack-jawed next to him, also sits down and gets in on the action. For some reason, the presence of Halesey is something he finds disturbingly reassuring, and a meditative state of mind comes shockingly easily to him.
He also becomes aware of something big right above him - not too near, of course, but certainly in an upwards direction. It feels a bit like a second moon for reasons he can't describe, and he becomes mildly anxious thinking about the idea, though why the idea of a second moon disturbs him so, he can't really tell. There's just a sense of atypical wrongness about it, like it shouldn't be there, and yet is anyway, possibly out of spite.
There's also other little dots of something he can feel, but those are smaller and less likely to crush him terribly, he would say. And he's pretty sure two of them are next to him, and he's not dead yet, so they're probably not all that harmful anyway.
Elizabeth, wandering outside the factory, suddenly gets the impulse to meditate. Looking around cautiously, she hides behind a dumpster and sits down. The rain's a bit cold and the wind's a bit uncomfortable, but she is not quite at the point when she would prefer hiding in a half-full dumpster instead of getting a bit wet.
She thinks it's working, too. She hardly even thinks of her earlier misadventures or anything else as she lounges in her corner of the world. Well, aside from that weird thing she can sense from nearby. It feels like a weird ball of something strange, a soft and delicious mystery wrapped in the luminous aluminum foil of a true enigma.
And finally, Kat also chooses to go into a meditative state her desire for recognition satiated as she turns off the police scanner. The peace and quiet helps a lot, and soon she is in the back of her personal headspace, chilling like nobody's business.
What's weird is that she doesn't feel like she's alone, strictly speaking. It feels like someone else is around here. It is a very uncomfortable feeling for Kat for some reason.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 29, 2013, 04:49:57 am
Post by: Dwarmin on September 29, 2013, 06:09:57 am
Post by: Toaster on September 29, 2013, 11:51:05 am
Larry looked up at Hensly. "Did you feel that too? Let's check it out."
Check it out
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 01, 2013, 09:09:00 am
The two men eventually reach the fourth floor, which seems to be where the factory's former offices are. At least, that's what they guess the place to be - the door leading to the inner workings of the floor seems to be locked, sadly.
Elsewhere, Kat attempts to explore her mindscape, to find what is disturbing her so. However, just as she attempts to find something, it is gone, only the faintest disturbance serving to inform her that something was even there.
All in all, not very encouraging, she must say.
Post by: Toaster on October 01, 2013, 09:55:04 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 01, 2013, 10:03:02 am
((Can we tell if the disturbance is there or higher up?))
Yes, it does seem to be within the fourth floor's confines.
Post by: Joben on October 01, 2013, 10:49:41 am
Post by: Tomcost on October 01, 2013, 10:58:17 am
((Plot Twist: It turns out Kat's dinosaur rain summoned the raptor from my game and they are now loose in the city ;) ))((RTD advertisement, capitalism has finally taken over Bay12))
Post by: Dwarmin on October 01, 2013, 10:58:43 am
Action: Ask the book what might be sneaking around in my head...
Post by: lawastooshort on October 01, 2013, 11:12:54 am
Prepare my mind to blast down the door. Assume my magical blasting position - feet apart, eyes concentrating on the door, and palm outstretched. At least 20 feet away if space permits. Don't blast it yet!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on October 01, 2013, 12:08:57 pm
See if I can assist Halesey with his spellcasting.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 01, 2013, 12:29:55 pm
~Hey Mr. Book... do you know I'd feel as if there was someone or something rooting around in my headspace? Can I get some plot exposition?~
~You can get all the plot exposition ya want, baby... within certain limits, y'know. I can tell ya that the thing you saw in yer headspace - that was somebody ya know. I think it was one of yer buddies. Side effect of magic, baby. One of many, actually. The mind ain't as private as ya might think anymore.~
Meanwhile, Halesey stands at the locked door, confident that what he seeks is behind it.
”Hmm, a locked door in this place? Pretty suspicious. If you haven't got a better idea Larry, I suggest we blast it down and get in there. I figure there's two ways - the potato way, and the musical garbage blast way. Or, you know, we could look for the keys. But that'll take time,” he tells his faithful companion.
"Go for it, man. If there's trouble, I can mucus or golem it," Larry replies, ever the champion of the cause of crushing lack of subtlety.
Halesey, having been thus validated, assumes a standard casting stance, readying himself to channel the raw power of musical garbage toward the door. Larry, for his part in things, carefully adjusts Halesey's posture, moving with him in a manner that would be perceived as vaguely homoerotic were it not for the direness of their need. Every few moments, Larry steps back, experimenting with a motion he judges to be appropriately blasty, then making sure Halesey repeats it to his specifications. Several rounds of such activities later, Larry would say that Halesey is ready. In fact, he's more than ready. Barring extremely bad luck, he would bet that the sheer moxie and chutzpah he has bestowed upon his woefully untalented yet supremely willing warlock-in-training would be enough to bring down a whole lot more than a mere door, at least until the dude forgets what he was doing and tries to summon a potato vortex instead.
All in all, Larry appears to have the makings of a true casting coach in him.
Post by: Errol on October 01, 2013, 12:55:06 pm
Enter the building. Inconspiciously. Look for other trouble-makers and the distortion that is, no doubt, caused by them.
Post by: Dwarmin on October 01, 2013, 01:13:22 pm
Post by: Toaster on October 01, 2013, 01:14:54 pm
With preparation out of the way, assist with actual blasting.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 01, 2013, 01:15:23 pm
~"Oh. Is this considered a bad thing? Should I try to remove...him? Her?"~
~Depends, babe. Some don't like it when they can be troubled by their buddies, though most say bein' able to trouble 'em right back is worth the hassle, y'know?~
Post by: lawastooshort on October 01, 2013, 01:21:44 pm
Post by: Toaster on October 01, 2013, 01:22:09 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on October 01, 2013, 01:25:45 pm
Apply Musical Garbage Blast to the offending door! With maximum prejudice!
Post by: Dwarmin on October 01, 2013, 01:34:51 pm
~"Oh. Is this considered a bad thing? Should I try to remove...him? Her?"~
~Depends, babe. Some don't like it when they can be troubled by their buddies, though most say bein' able to trouble 'em right back is worth the hassle, y'know?~
~"So you're saying I'm unconsciously connected to the others like they're connected to me? What can you do with this 'trouble'?"~
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 01, 2013, 01:41:27 pm
~"So you're saying I'm unconsciously connected to the others like they're connected to me? What can you do with this 'trouble'?"~
~Right now? Not much. I mean, ya might have some luck if all o' them were meditatin' all simultaneous-like, but other than that, not a whole lot o' utility yet. Takes investment, ya know.~
Post by: Dwarmin on October 01, 2013, 02:42:47 pm
...
Active: Fin and abnadonded balony to pratise rouge boolt. Alsso clozes
Spoiler: Whatever (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 02, 2013, 09:01:48 am
She goes right into the factory, hoping she doesn't attract too much attention. Maybe the others have gone inside and-
Suddenly, she finds herself face-to-face with the chemically burned guy. His sunken eyes narrow at the sight of her.
"What're you doing in here, lady? And where's your druggie friends?"
Hm. Er... ah. Elizabeth is about to come up with a perfectly plausible explanation, but then there's a sudden, unusually avant-garde musical echo through the factory. The burned man is quite distracted by it from the looks of it.
Meanwhile, three floors higher, mass destruction is about to happen! Larry, having coached Halesey on proper casting procedure, assumes the same posture as his student. They look at each other, nod and begin, with Larry performing a leaping, spinning flourish, thrusting his palms out toward the door in sync with Halesey doing much the same to the best of his ability.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 2+1+3-1]
Larry's training appears to have paid off, as just when they both simultaneously and identically perform the magical jazz hands required for optimum casting, a large sphere of assorted things - old ukeleles, drums, violins, synthesizers and xylophones, among other things - emanates from Halesey's palms, rapidly flying into the locked door and exploding in a manner both violent and symphonic - the debris from the wall and the door as well as the various instrument components fly inward, hitting one another, the walls and the floor in a rhythmic, almost melodic fashion.
Why, it's almost enough to distract both of them from the fact that the door (as well as a good section of wall around it) is gone, revealing a hallway leading to rows of offices. Curiously enough, the two men can see what appear to be distant orange and green lights in the somewhat darkened area.
Quite far away indeed, Kat gets dressed and goes to find an abandoned balcony. Regrettably, though, all the other apartments on this floor are quite locked, so she just steps onto her own balcony. Not like anyone will mind, she guesses. She aims her hand outward and tries some magic.
[Kat's affinity roll: 1-->5]
However, nothing really happens when she flicks her wrist and wills magic to come into existence. This, she thinks, is most unsatisfying.
Post by: Dwarmin on October 02, 2013, 09:11:55 am
Post by: lawastooshort on October 02, 2013, 09:12:55 am
"Sweet. Cheers dude, you're clearly a born teacher. Let's get in there."
Mentally ready myself in a similar way to cast the musical garbage blast again, hold the power of musical garbage in my open palm (just one, keep one hand free for… unlocked doors and stuff), and move into the now opened space with caution. Accept any pointers from Larry if he wants to give them regarding my musical garbage blast preparation.
Post by: Toaster on October 02, 2013, 09:33:18 am
Proceed onward. If aggressed, evoke some mucus all over them.
Post by: Errol on October 02, 2013, 10:47:41 am
Move towards wherever the hell that noise came from! Employ the good ol' Bavarian Fire Drill if I encounter some obstacles!
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 02, 2013, 11:26:42 am
"You're doing it wrong!" comes a voice from below all of a sudden. Kat, mildly surprised to say the least, looks down.
There appears to be a girl in a raincoat standing outside her house, hollering at her from three floors down.
"Do you even have any idea what you're doing?" she continues at about the same volume. Her voice seems a little immature, and her accent's a bit difficult to place.
* * * * *
On the fourth floor of Import Avenue 17, Halesey and Larry take a few moments to compliment their job well done and continue onward to adventure. They enter the hallways, Halesey taking a moment to prepare a spell for firing off in case of trouble (it doesn't really manifest in any way, but Halesey likes to think that it will be awesome when it does).
Upon closer inspection, the orange lights appear to be traffic lights of some kind, and there's a whole lot of them around. Dozens, several in each office from the looks of it, all lit up orange. That's pretty weird. Particularly since until now it didn't look like this place had electricity at all.
They keep on walking through the rather long hallway until something weird happens, and the entire floor is suddenly bathed in red light as the traffic lights suddenly all change. Well, that's definitely not normal.
Down below, Elizabeth utilizes the distraction to just handwave her presence and move along.
"Aw, man, that there might just be your answer. Sorry, no time now, gotta pound some sense in these idiots!"
The burned man, though confused, follows along at a reasonable pace as Elizabeth tries to identify the source of the noise. She's willing to bet it came from the ground floor, but she doesn't really know where to start looking.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 02, 2013, 11:38:13 am
Continue onwards; search room by room. Keep spell prepared!
Post by: Toaster on October 02, 2013, 12:18:22 pm
Onward, focusing on spellcasting.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 02, 2013, 12:36:17 pm
Post by: Toaster on October 02, 2013, 12:38:58 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on October 02, 2013, 01:13:25 pm
Although I could always try going maximum musical garbage, too, I suppose."
Post by: Dwarmin on October 02, 2013, 01:25:33 pm
She shouted down.
"None of this really makes any sense anyway-I just learned m-double A-G-ick existed today. And, In the absence of any actual guiding drive, I'm mostly winging it until something explodes. Would you like to come up and explain who you are, and why you don't think I'm just a crazy person making signs at the air?"
Post by: Errol on October 02, 2013, 01:52:36 pm
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 02, 2013, 02:41:14 pm
Most of the offices seem quite empty apart from a few traffic lights sitting around in a fairly innocuous fashion. They continue like this for a few offices until they are suddenly distracted by something. That something is a sound not unlike an explosion a slight distance ahead, accompanied by a corresponding wave of what appear to be mops.
That's not the strange part, though. The strange part is when the mops begin to get up, having formed vaguely humanoid shapes, brushing the dust off themselves and looking around.
Several floors lower, Elizabeth tries to find quite possibly the biggest hint that her associates might have been here - some potatoes lying around in unlikely places. Sadly, though, she finds very little on the ground floor that isn't a bunch of confused squatters. Less sadly, there is another sound! It sounds like it came from up above somewhere. This one's less melodic, though.
* * * * *
Kat shouts down at her visitor, eager to seek some sense in the whole mess of things that have been happening to her.
"None of this really makes any sense anyway-I just learned m-double a-g-ick existed today. And, in the absence of any actual guiding drive, I'm mostly winging it until something explodes. Would you like to come up and explain who you are, and why you don't think I'm just a crazy person making signs at the air?"
"If you were crazy, you'd be better at it! Hang on, I'm coming up."
The girl walks into the lobby of Kat's building. Some minutes pass until Kat hears rather wet-sounding footsteps in the hallway outside her door, interrupted occasionally by a series of loud knocks.
"... are you-no, wait, you're just an old pervert..." Kat hears the girl say until her footsteps stop at her door. Series of knocks again.
"Hey, you in there? Come on, open up! Can't do this all night, you know!"
The girl sounds a tad annoyed.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 02, 2013, 03:12:12 pm
Post by: Dwarmin on October 02, 2013, 03:22:59 pm
"Over here, over here. Please, come in. Stop staring, Mr. Tullworth."
Post by: Toaster on October 02, 2013, 03:26:06 pm
Evoke that mucus! Get past them as the mops clean it up.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 03, 2013, 05:35:30 am
Kat cracked open her door. Never open Mr. Tullwoth's apartment...
"Over here, over here. Please, come in. Stop staring, Mr. Tullworth."
After the door is opened and Mr. Tullworth is successfully warded off yet again, the girl steps inside. She is still wearing her raincoat, and now your impression of her as quite young is successfully confirmed - she can't be more than 16 or 17 years old, you'd say, and her face contains more than trace amounts of metal - her nose is quite thoroughly pierced, as are her eyebrows and her lower lip, giving her visage a rather silver-studded impression. As she stomps into your home, shutting the door behind her, she looks around.
"This is all very underwhelming," she says, taking off her raincoat and revealing a rather ratty, mildly trashy outfit underneath all the yellow plastic. She throws the raincoat onto a nearby couch, critically eying the furniture. "I thought there'd be a library here or something."
She turns back to you, her eyes wandering over you critically. "You did make the dinosaurs rain, right?"
Post by: Dwarmin on October 03, 2013, 05:41:34 am
Also, sorry about the state of things here. I'm not really used to...taking care of my apartment...I used to travel alot..." She says, looking around.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 03, 2013, 07:08:32 am
"Yes, I made the dinosaurs...rain. Though I didn't really expect it work.
Also, sorry about the state of things here. I'm not really used to...taking care of my apartment...I used to travel alot..." She says, looking around.
"Huh. Do you have any other places? More magical ones, I mean. I like the way it looks, it's just that it's... well... so mundane! Boring! Lacking in character! Passe!"
She frowns doubtfully after rattling off the list of thoughts.
"What do you call yourself, anyway?"
Post by: Dwarmin on October 03, 2013, 08:40:40 am
And, as far as I know, this is an ordinary apartment. I know of A place that is supposedly magical-some sort of nexus or something-but, my sort of group wasn't making very good progress actually getting into it last I knew. One of our guys got sucked into a potato dimension or something. Pity. I figured they were all going to get themselves killed, so I came back here..."
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 03, 2013, 09:08:39 am
"I'm just plain Kathryn Jones.
And, as far as I know, this is an ordinary apartment. I know of A place that is supposedly magical-some sort of nexus or something-but, my sort of group wasn't making very good progress actually getting into it last I knew. One of our guys got sucked into a potato dimension or something. Pity. I figured they were all going to get themselves killed, so I came back here..."
"Really, you don't even have a cool name to go by? I'm growing more disappointed by the minute. And you haven't even found a comfy leyline yet? How long have you been at this, anyway? I came here expecting some kind of wicked awesome sorceress, you know. What spells have you got?"
Post by: Dwarmin on October 03, 2013, 09:46:23 am
"I've been at it about three hours. No time for a secret identity.
And I suppose I can't do much yet aside from dropping dinosaurs. I was trying some sort of bolt thingy when you saw me.
Now, who exactly are you? I'm guessing you've got magic too...probably better than mine."
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 03, 2013, 11:28:12 am
Kat checks her felix wall clock.
"I've been at it about three hours. No time for a secret identity.
And I suppose I can't do much yet aside from dropping dinosaurs. I was trying some sort of bolt thingy when you saw me.
Now, who exactly are you? I'm guessing you've got magic too...probably better than mine."
"You've been at this for three hours and already you've essentially caused the miniature end times for the Retiree Row, huh?"
She grins.
"Sweet! Anyhow, I'm Perfidy. And you can bet I've got magic. Was hoping to talk to you about that, in fact! Can you do that dinosaur thing again?"
Post by: Toaster on October 03, 2013, 11:29:46 am
Post by: Dwarmin on October 04, 2013, 01:22:16 am
Post by: Errol on October 04, 2013, 01:53:53 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 04, 2013, 05:56:50 am
[Larry's affinity roll: 1-->1+1+3]
Larry attempts to summon the power of mucus, but none comes out for some reason! Could it be because he has just recuperated from a nasty cold? He gets the urge to sneeze for a moment, although he keeps it in purely by reflex honed by years of working in the service industry.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3-1+1]
Halesey, meanwhile, summons up a miniscule blast of garbage that hits a mop golem right in the kisser, producing a clean, perfect D note - the mop golem, aside from fluffing up in an offended fashion, is not very impressed. Their previous plans having failed, the two men walk up to the golems and try to get past. However, as they try this, the golems look at them expectantly. They also look expectantly at someone else behind Halesey and Larry - looking back, they notice that Elizabeth appears to have arrived, probably wondering what's all this, then.
* * * * *
Kat, having successfully introduced herself to Perfidy, expresses a sentiment that many on Retiree Row would share, the lack of necessity for submitting people to saurian precipitation without a very good reason.
"I've no doubt the dinosaur spell is... repeatable... but, next time I'd prefer to do it in a less populated place. I don't really like the thought of crushing more people inadvertently."
"Oh, pish posh. It's no fun if there aren't people around. Dinosaurs are only cool when you put them next to people, Flintstones-style. Or Jurassic Park-style, whichever you prefer. Besides, you probably won't hit anybody you really care about if you do it, so why worry?"
Post by: Dwarmin on October 04, 2013, 06:31:45 am
In any case, you certainly seem to have a better idea about magic than I do. Tell me what you know."
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 04, 2013, 06:46:22 am
"That's an awfully loaded argument you have there, but still...I'll drop dinosaurs at the city park, instead. Less crushing. I'm not a saint, but I don't want to hurt more people than I have to...
In any case, you certainly seem to have a better idea about magic than I do. Tell me what you know."
"I know that there's not much to know, at least as far as I know. Magic is something you feel, not know. I tried asking Archie once about what magic actually was, and he told me not to worry about it. I think he's right about that. Best way to do magic is to go with the flow, and I'm good at that. Go with the flow and you find leylines, get power, that sort of thing. I found mine yesterday, and it's been looking up from there on in. Got my spells, and I'm working on a robe, trying to get one of my buddies to make me a nice bookshelf, that kind of thing. And having fun in the meantime, of course. I like looking for other wizards especially. Most of 'em are funnier than you, though."
She glances over at your fridge.
"You've got anything to drink around here? I'm parched."
Post by: lawastooshort on October 04, 2013, 07:02:15 am
See if the mops lead me somewhere. Also, prepare the hell out of Musical Garbage Blast.
((If I get jumpy it's getting swapped out to another spell OH YES IT IS))
Post by: Dwarmin on October 04, 2013, 07:03:01 am
Anyway, I've whole milk, orange and cranberry juice, green tea and some coronas. Feel free to take what you like." She said, very studiously.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 04, 2013, 07:15:00 am
"I suppose my sanity will have to be the first thing to go if I'm to become more humorous, yes?
Anyway, I've whole milk, orange and cranberry juice, green tea and some coronas. Feel free to take what you like." She said, very studiously.
"Eh, sanity's a label, you know. Kinda meaningless when you can make extinct megafauna fall from the sky with a thought, no?"
She moves over to your fridge, quickly retrieving a beer. She opens it up and has a drink, swilling it in her mouth for a moment.
"Not very good, I'd say. Got anything stronger?"
Post by: Dwarmin on October 04, 2013, 07:19:48 am
Post by: Toaster on October 04, 2013, 07:47:00 am
Follow along. See if I can ascertain their motives.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 04, 2013, 07:47:01 am
"Um...there's a very old bottle of red wine in the back of the cupboard. I suppose I was saving it for my wedding day...or perhaps the Apocalypse.." She says with a sigh.
"Yeah, that's a bit better, I guess. And I guess you could say the world's coming to an end. Isn't it always?" Perfidy says, quickly finding the bottle. She taps it with her fingers, and the bottle begins to shake violently in her hands.
"Now it's ready!" she says, opening the bottle quickly and taking a pretty large swig. Her eyes go wide as she swallows the drink, though she recovers quickly, holding the still shaking and thrashing bottle toward you.
"Want some? It's angry now!"
Post by: Dwarmin on October 04, 2013, 07:59:40 am
Action: Abandon all logic and drink the angry magic wine from the stranger I met a few minutes ago.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 06, 2013, 06:18:39 am
Post by: Dwarmin on October 06, 2013, 06:35:05 am
Instant Fun?
Post by: Errol on October 06, 2013, 06:55:33 am
Demand explanations. Shake head. Follow group.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 06, 2013, 01:54:08 pm
"Seriously, dude? 'Take me to your leader?' You really said that?" Larry mentions, shaking his head.
"What is the meaning of this?" Elizabeth asks, but nobody answers. She shakes her head disapprovingly, following Larry's example, and walks up to Halesey, who seems to be busily practicing his magical moves. The three wizards-to-be stand about for a moment, waiting for the mop golems to make a move. Or at least Halesey is waiting - he supposes the others are following him to no avail.
* * * * *
"Why not?" Kat answers Perfidy, grabbing the bottle she is offering, nearly losing her grip on it when the handoff is made. She takes a hearty swig, guessing that she is going to need it wherever she is going in life at this rate.
[Kat's body roll: 4+1]
As the wine passes through her esophagus, it kicks and thrashes wildly, causing Kat to twitch until it gets to her stomach, and not really letting up even then. She quickly plugs up the bottle, so as to not let the wine out, and grabs onto a counter for support as the angry wine slowly settles down, tamed by the elemental force of stomach acid.
"Good stuff, eh? Very good when you want a kick, but not really too much of a buzz. I tried reading Archie once when I was really drunk - didn't go well at all!"
She shakes her head, her eyes widening slightly to affirm the gravity of the predicament described.
"So... wanna go out someplace? This place kinda blows. Wine's good, though."
Post by: Dwarmin on October 07, 2013, 12:24:15 am
She actually hadn't enjoyed herself in the longest time...
Action: Put on my going out clothes. Time for some reckless abandon.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 07, 2013, 04:37:22 am
Post by: Errol on October 07, 2013, 05:17:31 am
Post by: lawastooshort on October 07, 2013, 05:24:10 am
Post by: Toaster on October 07, 2013, 07:58:33 am
Get past. Mucus anything that tries to stop me.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on October 07, 2013, 08:29:56 am
((What, you want to negotiate with someone who uses mop golems against the innocent?))
((I do not like your chances to do something sensible, even when we're taking negotiation out of the equation, and Elizabeth never takes trying to talk with people out of the equation... essentially, I expect you to cause things to go to hell on accident and I really look forward to that. :D So, please, have this pigeon barrier so that you can survive that silliness.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 07, 2013, 03:38:21 pm
"Let's go! Yeah!"
Kat quickly gets her things together, dressing up for a wild evening, then the two ladies head out. Perfidy leads the way, but she doesn't seem to really know where to go. Instead, she seems to be looking for something. After a bit of walking, she stops, her eyes resting on a group of five men standing at a bus stop, smoking and chatting as they look sadly at the steadfastly abominable weather. Perfidy eyeballs them for a second, then looks at Kat.
"Hey, wanna see something funny?"
* * * * *
Halesey tries to squeeze past the assembled mop golems, hoping that they won't mind terribly much.
[Halesey's body roll: 4]
He gently nudges a few mop golems aside, politely moving through the crowd and offering the occasional apologetic cough and nod as a mop golem stares him down on a few occasions. Halesey finds that the mop golem congregation seems to go deeper than he previously imagined - there's a whole mess of the things deeper in.
Emboldened by the example set by Halesey, Larry tries to repeat his success.
[Larry's body roll: 3-1]
He does not, however, possess enough strength to press through the dense crowd of mops, and an idle swing of a mop golem's hips throws him aside. Larry wonders if that counts as assault of some kind. Elizabeth, seeing that things aren't going so well, tries to improve the situation with a pigeon barrier. A glowing pigeon barrier, in fact.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 6-->5+1]
As she puts her mind to it, luminous pigeons being to dive from some heretofore unknown dimension, obediently forming a wall around her and Larry. She then advances, and the barrier moves with her. The golems, noticing such a divine manifestation of power, slowly begin to clear the way, hugging the walls as Elizabeth walks along them. Looks like they know enough to respect magic, it seems. The two of them catch up with Halesey quickly enough, enveloping him in the barrier as well. There's still a ways to go, though.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 07, 2013, 03:48:12 pm
Press on forward. But with Musical Garbage Blast at the very ready.
Post by: Dwarmin on October 07, 2013, 10:48:21 pm
"Alright, but try not to squish any of them. The one in the middle is sort of cute."
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 08, 2013, 12:29:47 am
"Alright, but try not to squish any of them. The one in the middle is sort of cute."
"'Kay. Stand well back."
Post by: Dwarmin on October 08, 2013, 01:02:26 am
Post by: Errol on October 08, 2013, 03:15:48 am
Advance while extracting answers.
Post by: Toaster on October 08, 2013, 08:28:17 am
Onward
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 09, 2013, 09:21:55 am
"So, why the hell are there so many mop golems around here? It almost seems like there's actually already wizards sitting on this leyline! Man, I don't look forward to that."
"We can always just chuck them in that horrible potato hell. But please make sure I'm in the next county or something before you cast it, okay?"
Thus they banter as they make their way through the sea of mop golems, at last coming to a place that seems like their point of origin, considering how it has no wall right now. It's difficult to see in there, really. There's just too many mop golems! It is, however, evident that the leyline is very near, and there is the tiniest hint of a small clearing that all three of the wizards can currently see within the crowd of mops.
* * * * *
Kat heeds Perfidy's warning, taking quite a sizable step back. Perfidy nods, walking up to the five guys, then waving to them. They look up from their conversation for a moment, somewhat puzzled by the girl in front of them. Perfidy laughs softly, then outstretches her arms, straightening out in a manner similar to a yawn.
Immediately, something begins to flow out from her, a black, twisting fog that streams out in several directions, seemingly sentient in the way it seems to grab at the men.
[Bus Stop Dudes' finesse rolls: 3, 1-->1, 5, 5, 4]
[Bus Stop Dude 1's body roll: 1-->1]
Though the billowing, foggy blackness advances quickly, Kat can see that three of the guys, showing very good judgment, immediately run away from the fog upon seeing one of their friends completely engulfed in the stuff and another getting partially caught in it, then violently yanked into the darkness. Asking no questions, they back away to what seems like a safe distance. Moments later, the fog subsides, revealing a completely unharmed Perfidy standing next to the two unfortunates caught in the fog.
Said two unfortunates are completely covered in hair from head to toe, and this certainly isn't your average body hair. It is jet black with a mildly purple sheen, roughly the thickness of electrical cables, not to mention that each hair is the length of an arm, it seems. And alive and screaming at that. A veritable choir is formed from the joined yelps and shrieks of both the afflicted and the hairs as the former roll around in confusion and possibly great discomfort. The other guys look at the people on the ground, then at Perfidy, quite distraught at what is happening, clearly. Perfidy, meanwhile, is quite amused.
Post by: Dwarmin on October 09, 2013, 09:35:13 am
Post by: lawastooshort on October 09, 2013, 10:37:36 am
Post by: Toaster on October 09, 2013, 11:34:46 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 09, 2013, 11:46:05 am
"That was fairly impressive! What do you call that maneuver?"
"Emit Eldritch Minoxidil! Show me what you can do, now," she says, indicating the three fearful dudes sneakily approaching their fallen brethren.
Post by: Tomcost on October 09, 2013, 11:59:36 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 09, 2013, 12:06:58 pm
((I wonder which random spell generator is Harry using, becuase I just can't believe that someone could come out with these weird and completely unrelated words as spells.))
((This is a generator I made myself, inspired by this gem (http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=jokegrimoire). Well, more of a chart, anyway. Unlike the Grimoire of Questionable Spells, though, this chart was made with gameplay in mind.))
Post by: Dwarmin on October 09, 2013, 12:19:31 pm
Post by: Tomcost on October 09, 2013, 12:25:38 pm
Post by: Errol on October 09, 2013, 03:25:48 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 10, 2013, 02:12:40 pm
Suddenly, there is the sound of something coming into existence.
[Elizabeth's finesse roll: 4-1-1]
Following this sound, Elizabeth is hit by something! A man, from the looks of it! He rockets into Elizabeth, sweeping her off her feet and knocking her to the ground while clutching her tightly in his arms. He looks her in the eyes earnestly and without hostility.
"I'm sorry to tell you this, miss, but you are going to die. Not today, in all likelihood, but sometime in the future, definitely. And there is nothing you can do about it. Nothing at all. Your life is quite meaningless, miss. Are you aware of this?"
That's unusual.
* * * * *
Kat, quite prepared for exactly an occasion like this, tries to unleash her trusty (at least, she would assume it to be trusty) giant tobacco boomerang at the poor dudes at the bus stop.
[Kat's affinity roll: 5]
Suddenly, a giant, rapidly spinning boomerang about the size of a car spins into existence, flying off at incredible speed!
[Kat's finesse roll: 5]
It flies at a curve, heading for the three men unerringly at Kat's behest!
[Three Remaining Dudes' finesse rolls: 5-1, 4-1, 6-->5-1]
Only one of them can duck fast enough under the boomerang, the others getting partially clipped by it during its flight!
[Dude 3's body roll: 3]
[Dude 4's body roll: 5]
One of them topples over, having been knocked off-balance, but is well on the way to recovery almost immediately! The other, however, keeps on his feet, only slightly disturbed by the hit. The boomerang, knocked off its path by the impacts, sails into a nearby law, falling apart almost immediately.
"That sure looked cool. Doesn't look too effective, though! Watch this!"
Perfidy taps her forehead for a moment, then splays her hands outward. Immediately, something strange pops into view - a tidal wave of white, powdery creatures covered in spikes blasting forward at the men. They hardly have any time to react, having been distracted by Kat, and are hit full-on by the thing, blasted off their feet.
[Three Remaining Dudes' body rolls: 5, 5, 5]
All of them are smashed into a nearby wall, but they don't seem to mind too much for some reason. It's pretty strange. They cough and sniffle as they get up from their new positions, covered in the powdery substance, the creatures having disintegrated by now.
"Sweet, eh? Now you try something!"
Post by: Toaster on October 10, 2013, 03:59:24 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 10, 2013, 11:31:36 pm
"Who the hell are you? Turn these damn mops off!"
"I can't. Nobody can."
Post by: Errol on October 11, 2013, 07:11:25 am
Post by: lawastooshort on October 11, 2013, 07:30:14 am
During a lull in discussion raise a Stupid Desk Shield.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 11, 2013, 07:38:42 am
"Er, well, you know this kind of isn't the right place or time for philosophical discussion and could you please get the hell of my chest and who in the name of the nine rings are you anyway?!"
"Does it really matter who I am, miss? Names are but a passing thing, just like life. Your name will be forgotten in time, as will mine. In the end, both of us will become dust, the very fact that we existed effectively removed from this cruel earth. It sounds bleak, miss, but it is only the truth. This truth is why I do not feel a particular urge to move from this spot or position. In the grand scheme of things, I am but a fleck of dust, as are you."
Post by: lawastooshort on October 11, 2013, 07:44:23 am
Post by: Dwarmin on October 11, 2013, 07:50:42 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 11, 2013, 07:58:36 am
"Then we shall call you Tim. It's cold outside and we'd like a place to stay for the night. Do you object, o Tim?"
"Not my place to grant permission. I am afraid I am entirely inconsequential."
Post by: Toaster on October 11, 2013, 08:37:52 am
"You can't? Right- it's time for plan distraction. AND NO FUCKING POTATOES!"
Evoke some serious mucus all over the floor.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on October 11, 2013, 08:40:57 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 11, 2013, 08:45:31 am
"Oh. Okay. So, you like this leyline, eh? And seriously Larry, I've got the potatoes totally under control, it's only out of respect for your feelings that I'm not evoking potatoes right now. Anyway, I'm more into musical garbage nowadays, potatoes are so... this morning."
"I have no opinion of the leyline, whatever that may be. Very few things really interest me, to be honest."
Post by: lawastooshort on October 11, 2013, 10:02:49 am
Halesey turns to his comrades.
"Hey, can you watch over me for a second or two whilst I, like, commune? Cheers boets."
If Tim agrees to non-violent coexistance and my homies agree to keep watch, open my magic folder and commune! Inform it that we are at the leyline! Open my mind!
Post by: Errol on October 11, 2013, 10:34:10 am
Post by: Nunzillor on October 11, 2013, 06:03:34 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 12, 2013, 05:33:35 am
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->5-1]
And a shield thus materializes, desks swirling rapidly around Halesey, their surfaces painted by people who must have been deaf, blind and with no notion of what a desk even was, let alone with any idea how to paint it. Halesey's quite glad he can barely see anything outside of it, because it would mean that people could identify him as the shield's occupant.
Larry, meanwhile, starts evoking mucus, ready for violence to erupt.
[Larry's affinity roll: 5+1]
He raises his hands, and something begins to bubble within his nose. It's a very ticklish feeling as well as outlandish, and Larry huffs a few times, then lets loose a mighty sneeze, a huge torrent of snot erupting from his nostrils and hitting the floor with a loud noise. The mucus splashes and spreads along the room, filling it to about ankle height with the filthiest damn mucus that any of the people present have ever seen. It lasts for a good half a minute before Larry stops, taking a deep breath and looking around for a handkerchief.
Elizabeth isn't quite sure, but she thinks she sees Tim brighten up for a moment as he realizes that he has been spared most of the stuff - she also realizes that this is because he is on top of her, and her hair is currently full of the disgusting sludge that just erupted from Larry's nostrils.
That would be about an 8 or a 9 on the general 10 point 'ew' scale, she'd say. This increases the urgency that she needs to get up, she believes.
"Tim, I'm going to need you to get off my chest."
"Why, miss?"
"I'm currently lying in a pool of my colleague's snot, and it is most distressing. I'd like to get up."
"Perhaps you can view it as a learning experience. Learn to let go of your apprehensions, miss. It is liberating, or so I hear. Wouldn't know myself, though."
[Larry's finesse roll: 5-1]
Elizabeth then notices Larry, as if by instinct, leap aside as a man flies past him, attired similarly to Tim. The man flies into a mop golem, resting comfortably within the soft bulk of the creature, who does not move at all.
"Mmph gmph hmphlgmph," the man says, clutching onto the golem, who evidently cares not for any dialogue.
* * * * *
Kat, going in for a pound now that she's in for the penny already, tries her next spell.
[Kat's affinity roll: 5]
[Kat's finesse roll: 1-->3]
She intuitively grasps the moves of the spell, twisting in the air as she unleashes the destructive potential of magic!
This twisting, jerking movement carries with it the unfortunate side effect that she does not know quite where she's aiming. It just so happens to be roughly in Perfidy's direction, unfortunately enough.
Somewhat more fortunately, the bolt that appears is made of a strange, pinkish, powdery material.
[Perfidy's finesse roll: 4]
Perfidy ducks as the bolt passes her, and is totally unharmed. The bolt hits a wall, at which point it erupts into a small, pink cloud that subsides quickly enough, forming a patch of pink mud at ground level.
"Don't aim at me, goddamn it! Makes me twitchy!" Perfidy says with what seems like frustration. She turns to the dudes still standing, who look quite unsure of what to do, then to Kat again.
"So, got anything else aside from dinosaurs, or was that it?"
Post by: lawastooshort on October 12, 2013, 06:09:43 am
From within the safety of my desk shield, Prepare a Musical Garbage Blast!"
Post by: Errol on October 12, 2013, 07:00:57 am
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on October 12, 2013, 02:09:28 pm
Prepare to cast some trouser golems. Go ahead and cast it if I am attacked again.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Dwarmin on October 14, 2013, 12:09:47 pm
"For some reason, I can only remember four spells at a time-I think I messed up my stat generation.
I can also make dinosaurs explode, anyway"
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 14, 2013, 01:23:26 pm
"Nice work, Larry, I think you showed 'em we mean business, and they are clearly hostile. We can't let the feckers just dive all over us, let's get 'em!"
In preparation for the getting of feckers and fecker-like beings, Halesey begins to prepare another blast. It bubbles within his mind, ready to explode outward at the slightest provocation.
Elizabeth, who is lying down nearby, abandons her useless words and prepares to remove Tim the only way she can think of how - via frozen napkins!
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 5+1]
A small, yet highly forceful rip in reality opens up on her left palm, spewing forth vast amounts of napkins that she immediately points at Tim in the interests of her own freedom.
[Tim's body roll: 4]
Tim unaffectedly hangs on to Elizabeth in what seems almost like a weak hug, the frozen napkins pelting him all over his body. He becomes even sadder-looking, something Elizabeth did not think entirely possible.
"Go ahead and abuse me. I don't mind. Some days I get the feeling I was born for that sort of thing. Those are the good days, when I get at least some idea that I may be fulfilling a purpose of some kind," he solemnly narrates as he, along with Elizabeth, are both getting slowly buried in a mountain of napkins and her acquaintance's plentiful, horrendously disgusting mucus.
Larry, meanwhile, engages in warfare of his own sort.
"HEY! Any more of you assholes in here? One more and I'm going to unleash my own golems up in here! Then we'll have a right brawl!"
He then prepares a spell to cast - a beam of trouser golems to fire at his leisure! However, looking over his own shoulder constantly to watch out for dudes flying at him is a bit distracting, unfortunately. He doesn't attain a lot of progress, in short, before yet another dude flies at him suddenly.
[Larry's finesse roll: 6-->2]
He catches the flying dude, possibly to get some answers, nearly bowling over as the man proves heavier than he looks. Losing his footing for a second, Larry lands on top of the man, who stares at him without even a hint of worries beyond those of the most remote, existential sort.
"May I ask what you are doing, good sir? You do not have to tell me, of course. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't. Not at all."
* * * * *
Kat shrugs at Perfidy's question.
"For some reason, I can only remember four spells at a time-I think I messed up my stat generation."
"I know, right? I can only get four as well so far. I think Archie thinks I'm stupid, to be honest."
"I can also make dinosaurs explode, anyway"
"Awesome! You can make fireworks!"
She looks over at the three dudes, who still haven't moved much. They seem to be trying to clear off the whitish powder from their bodies.
"So... I guess we could keep tormenting those dudes for no good reason. Or I can pop the question right away if you feel up to it."
Post by: Dwarmin on October 14, 2013, 01:25:50 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 14, 2013, 01:26:36 pm
"Uh, go ahead with the question." She says.
"'Kay. Wanna be my apprentice?"
Post by: Dwarmin on October 14, 2013, 01:33:03 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on October 14, 2013, 01:38:25 pm
Run (or stroll slowly through mucus) towards Elizabeth and Musically Garbage Blast Tim off her at extreme close range.
((I can change targets if one of you is feeling particularly vulnerable.))
Post by: Toaster on October 14, 2013, 02:07:13 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 14, 2013, 03:46:16 pm
"That sounds intriguing...what might apprenticeship entail?"
"It's kinda like you're a squire, I'm a knight, that kinda thing. I've got the magical know-how and leyline, you've got the dinosaurs. And other stuff. Be my apprentice, and you can get all sorts of stuff from me and my friends. And I've got a knack for this magic junk, you know. I can maybe teach you some things if Archie helps! Important stuff."
"Who are you, where do you come from, and when are you leaving? This is our place now."
"It hardly matters to anyone, on all four counts, really. And when can you really call a place your own? In time, you will die and your bones will be swept away, leaving nothing behind. Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky. And maybe not even those two, apparently."
Post by: Toaster on October 14, 2013, 03:58:03 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 15, 2013, 01:03:13 am
"Wrong answer, fruit cake. I intend to live forever, and even if I don't, right NOW this place is mine. Piss off!"
"Your ambitions are doomed to fail. Still, don't mind me. I'll just be lying here, good sir. I simply do not have the will necessary to get up these days."
Post by: Dwarmin on October 15, 2013, 01:09:47 am
"Very well, I accept. Is there any ceremony? Or should we just spend the rest of the night getting plastered and casting spells at jerks?"
Post by: Toaster on October 15, 2013, 12:44:52 pm
With that, Larry hops up. The center of the ley line has to be here somewhere...
Track down the ley line center and bask in its power.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 15, 2013, 03:17:40 pm
"I suppose it's an offer I can't refuse." Kat says.
"Very well, I accept. Is there any ceremony? Or should we just spend the rest of the night getting plastered and casting spells at jerks?"
Perfidy looks quite happy now, doing a little spin on her heel, one arm outstretched upwards. She seems to be going for some kind of pose here.
"Awesome! Got an apprentice now, woo! No real ceremony, I guess, though if you've got a suggestion on what particular jerks you'd like to visit, I'm all ears. Random violence is kinda fun, as is getting plastered, but better to hurt people you hate, you know? And I myself kinda ran out of those a few days ago. At least, people within my reach, if you know what I mean. So, got anyone?"
Post by: Dwarmin on October 15, 2013, 03:36:04 pm
"How about the guy who stole my job? I was a photographer. He planted a false lead for me to follow, then tossed me to the wolves when the story came out as a scam. Got my position on the editorial staff, so I hear.
Jacob Whittaker. Scumbag." She says, folding her arms.
Post by: Errol on October 16, 2013, 01:30:14 am
Get the man to start blathering again, then shut his goddamn mouth. With napkins. Perhaps add a knee to the crotch or two.
Post by: BFEL on October 16, 2013, 10:01:58 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 16, 2013, 11:24:34 am
[Halesey's affinity roll: 2-1+2]
[Halesey's finesse roll: 3]
He aims at the two people on the ground, and a bent tin can shoots out from his palm, bouncing off Tim's back, a perfect C sharp ringing out through the room. Or it would ring out through the room if it were not for all these mop golems milling about. Tim is unimpressed. Elizabeth, currently underneath the fellow, has words to say to the man.
"May I suggest just one tiny little thing? Fuck you."
"No, thank you. I don't think it would help. Not to mention that you're a little thin for my tastes, miss. I'm sorry."
[Elizabeth's finesse vs. Tim's finesse: 3-1 vs. 4]
Elizabeth shoves her napkin-hand toward Tim's face, but the fellow moves his bedeviled visage out of the way before she can give him a faceful of frozen napkins.
"Now, miss, I know you must be overcome with rejection, but-"
[Elizabeth's body vs. Tim's body: 1-1 vs. 2]
"-there's really no need to keep on kicking and shoving me like that. I'm quite miserable already, you see. Friendless and pointless as I am, why wouldn't I be?" Tim speaks as Elizabeth tries to feebly, yet repeatedly knee him in the crotch, finding that the lack of leverage really hurts her chances to inflict a whole lot of pain.
Larry, unconcerned by these mortal affairs, looks about for the leyline to put an end to this silly business going on here. He steadfastly pushes past several golems, reaching where he believes the leyline to be quite easily. However, before he can reach it, he sees a pair of somewhat shabby pants floating in the air. How odd, he thinks.
* * * * *
Kat considers who she thinks worthy of magical vengeance. It takes but a moment.
"How about the guy who stole my job? I was a photographer. He planted a false lead for me to follow, then tossed me to the wolves when the story came out as a scam. Got my position on the editorial staff, so I hear."
"Jacob Whittaker. Scumbag."
Perfidy nods along, smiling.
"Stole your job, eh? Suppose he's a right piece of shit, yeah? Tell me about him. Gotta work up a rage, you know. What's the worst thing he ever did? And gimme some o' that wine, too. That helps as well."
Post by: Toaster on October 16, 2013, 01:19:28 pm
Hmmm... what to do with floating pants? Wonder if that tea thing would help?
Inspect the floating pants with the teascope.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on October 16, 2013, 01:58:37 pm
Help Elizabeth remove Tim
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on October 17, 2013, 12:44:26 am
Just keep going I have to get some sort of good roll at some point damnit
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 17, 2013, 02:33:10 pm
Suddenly, Larry hears a tingling sound and feels the rush of displaced air on his face. He turns to look at the source, and notices a man standing next to him. He seems to be flashing him a winning smile currently, and he appears to be wearing a somewhat expensive tuxedo.
"Hello, sir," the man says to him in a rich, velvety voice. "What're you looking for, if I may ask?"
Some distance away, Halesey and Elizabeth make a concentrated team effort to rid themselves of Tim. In this productive partnership, Halesey is the muscle while Elizabeth provides the smooth language.
"I'm fairly sure that assaulting people like this really hurts your chances of making any friends, though. Also, see a psychologist. Or someone else actually paid to listen to your bullshit. Now get off me. Please. In the grand scheme of things it's absolutely insignificant either way, so why not respect the wishes of your counterpart? This is the first step to striking up some sort of friendship, you know."
"I would see a psychologist, but I do not have any money. Crushing poverty is, regrettably, also a problem of mine. Quite the pickle I find myself in, really. Thus, the only temporary cure for my troubles is, just as regrettably, taking out my sorrows by inconveniencing others to a limited degree."
[Halesey's body vs. Tim's body: 5 vs. 5-1]
While Tim blathers on, Halesey just rolls the guy off Elizabeth. Elizabeth, now free of her captor, tries to get up.
Then she realizes that the potent mixture of uncommon filth and mucus appears to have hardened, and much of her hair is now stuck in it, not to mention her clothes, due in part to the sudden drop in temperature caused by all the frozen napkins pouring out of her palm - a torrent that has abated right now, by the way.
Post by: Toaster on October 17, 2013, 03:06:32 pm
"We're here for the ley line. We're moving in and taking its sweet, delicious power."
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 17, 2013, 03:10:02 pm
"We're here for the ley line. We're moving in and taking its sweet, delicious power."
The man laughs in an awfully pleasant fashion that seems borderline canned in its sheer artifice.
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that, sir! Maybe I can interest you in a nice drink instead?"
Post by: Toaster on October 17, 2013, 03:18:02 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on October 17, 2013, 03:23:09 pm
Help Elizabeth up, but not if it looks like it might result in grievous bodily harm. Prepare a musical garbage blast.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on October 17, 2013, 05:18:45 pm
Slowly remove/chisel self from frozen icky mass.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 18, 2013, 12:37:02 am
Larry raises an eyebrow. "See, that wasn't a question, buddy. I got a couple others here that agree with me," he says, gesturing backwards. "How about you and your toy mops head on off now?"
"No can do, buddy! Only people who're going to have to leave are you! You're not welcome here, you know. Floor's all messed up because of you now. That's no good, you see."
Post by: Toaster on October 18, 2013, 09:14:37 am
Fire Alkaline Trouser Golem Beam!
Post by: lawastooshort on October 18, 2013, 12:25:06 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 18, 2013, 02:30:28 pm
[Elizabeth's finesse roll: 2-1]
Elizabeth tries to slowly move in the mucus, but finds that she is largely immobilized - she's stuck fast to the ground, and she doesn't quite have a chisel handy to free herself. She tries to scratch some of the frozen stuff away, but she doesn't make any noticeable progress.
Halesey, who observes for a moment, wonders how best to help her. He supposes he could dig into the mucus with his own, slightly more free hands, but that would be disgusting. He could also apply the band-aid principle to this situation, which would probably be less painful than slowly pulling her out of the trap.
Larry, meanwhile, laughs derisively as he casts a powerful trouser golem beam at the man!
[Larry's finesse vs. Man's finesse: 3 vs. 5+1]
However, before he can even finish the final snort of his laugh, the man moves against him!
[Man's body vs. Larry's body: 3+1 vs. 3-1]
He leaps forward, flipping through the air and delivering a rather noteworthy kick to Larry's midsection, which catches Larry slightly off-guard, sending him reeling backward. Larry, somewhat pissed by this, redoubles his efforts against the man.
[Larry's affinity roll: 5+1]
[Larry's finesse vs. Man's finesse: 2 vs. 3+1]
He aims his palm forward, blasting forth a steady stream of trouser golems at the man, who promptly performs a triple backflip out of the way, landing perfectly out of range of the attack as it subsides quickly.
"Don't wanna have to hurt you too much, buddy!" the man declares from a small distance.
Post by: Toaster on October 18, 2013, 02:51:15 pm
Spray him and his vicinity down with Evoked Mucus!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on October 18, 2013, 02:57:58 pm
Then she, again, focuses on trying to solve a magic-induced problem through the obvious solution of more magic.
Hey, so, um. I am in a regrettably literal sticky situation, and clearly what I need is more spells. Can you hit me with your best shot?
Commune with entity! Acquire spells! Pray for something heat-based!
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on October 18, 2013, 04:14:47 pm
Musically garbage blast the nearest foe - in the face! Stand guard over Elizabeth's escape attempts.
Post by: Errol on October 18, 2013, 04:33:23 pm
((Errol, I have a musical garbage blast 'prepared', I could get down on the ground and try to blast you free! Also, phone so no rp or colour))
Musically garbage blast the nearest foe - in the face! Stand guard over Elizabeth's escape attempts.
((Like hell that'll work...))
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 18, 2013, 05:02:50 pm
((Errol, I have a musical garbage blast 'prepared', I could get down on the ground and try to blast you free!))
Actually, you don't. The timeframe the turns are working in currently mean you can't simultaneously do two things.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 19, 2013, 05:36:41 am
"You fucked up, asshole!"
[Larry's finesse vs. Man's finesse: 3 vs. 2+1]
The two adversaries act simultaneously, Larry casting a mighty spell as the sharp-dressed individual leaps toward him!
[Larry's affinity roll: 2+1]
[Man's body vs. Larry's body: 3+1 vs. 4-1]
As a small trail of snot pours out of Larry's nose, the fellow attacking him nearly flies past, clipping Larry's shoulder with a flying knee. Larry spins around in the direction of the man, only to see him suddenly disappear into thin air. How unusual.
[Larry's finesse roll: 5-1]
Suddenly, another man hits him from an altogether different direction, impacting Larry like a human missile!
[Larry's body roll: 2-1]
Larry is caught off-guard by the strike, and loses his footing on the mucus-encrusted ground. He is now on his stomach, and a man appears to be clutching at him.
"Life will kill you, don't you know," said man explains.
Halesey, meanwhile, examines the area for something like a foe. He looks about for a moment, noticing Larry on the ground with yet another horrible man placed atop him. Probably not a good idea to blast him. Then there's also... wait, there's a guy over there. Short, thin, dark-skinned dude, from the looks of it. Quite unkempt and dressed in terribly old and probably lice-infested clothing. He looks... and smells... like a wizard! Not to mention there's a pair of pants orbiting around him. Only one conclusion to make, then.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3-1]
Instinctively, Halesey thrusts his palm outward at the fellow, but no musical garbage comes out, sadly. At least it doesn't look like the dude is aware that Halesey can see him pretty clearly. How long that will last, though, is up for-
No, wait. The guy turns to Halesey, apparently pronouncing Larry to be quite done for the moment, and looks Halesey right in the eyes. Halesey isn't entirely sure, but it seems like the guy is... scared, maybe?
Elizabeth, after providing a short running commentary on the situation, focuses on her problems again. Recognizing that perhaps racist beaver vortexes do not hold the solution to this situation, she tries to get better magic instead.
Hey, so, um. I am in a regrettably literal sticky situation, and clearly what I need is more spells. Can you hit me with your best shot?
~sure thing. hold on.~
[Elizabeth's mind roll: 6-->6+1]
A jolt runs through Elizabeth's body, and she convulses violently, ripping out a small chunk of her hair that's stuck to the floor as a tidal wave of magic sweeps across her mind. And yet the wave, powerful and primal as it is, also feels incredibly familiar somehow. Had Elizabeth ever had the time and inclination to surf, she would understand the feeling - the taming of a swirling, advancing force, riding the wave out and feeling a curious fulfillment after not falling over and landing in the box jellyfish-infested waters of scenic Australia. It's violent, yet pleasant in a way, and Elizabeth's brain swells with the influx of wide and varied magical powers.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Post by: Errol on October 19, 2013, 07:51:38 am
Wait. Over there. That had to be the summoner. With that appearance, it was no wonder that he wanted to stay behind him mop golems and sharp gentleman summon and... he had some explaining to do for the existentialists.
Cut off his escape path with a glowing pigeon barrier.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on October 19, 2013, 10:13:06 am
"Asshole!"
Fire another trouser golem beam at him!
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 20, 2013, 07:50:45 am
Post by: lawastooshort on October 20, 2013, 09:18:00 am
"Dude, give in. Call off your men and renounce your claims to this place, or I'll unleash power that'll make your damn golems look as puny as they damn well are. You got ten seconds to start leaving, or to pledge allegiance to me, or you spend the rest of your lives in nudist potato hell. No more fecking about."
Post by: Toaster on October 20, 2013, 10:18:30 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 20, 2013, 12:15:11 pm
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 4+1]
A wall of glowing, fluttering pigeons appears at the ruined wall leading inside the office, blocking the way out in a most inconvenient manner.
Larry, hoping to ward off the man that is on top of him, tries to fire off a trouser golem beam!
[Larry's affinity roll: 2+1]
[Larry's finesse roll: 2]
As he tries to aim at the man on his back, a single alkaline trouser golem flies out of his palm, sailing off in a parabolic arc and landing nearby. This proves distinctly unhelpful.
"What was that just now? A golem made of pants? How quaint."
Halesey, having gotten a visual on his adversary at last, proclaims a dire warning to him.
"Dude, give in. Call off your men and renounce your claims to this place, or I'll unleash power that'll make your damn golems look as puny as they damn well are. You got ten seconds to start leaving, or to pledge allegiance to me, or you spend the rest of your lives in nudist potato hell. No more fecking about," he says, trying his best to channel the infernal power of the potato vortex, but not really getting too good of a reception. This talking must be distracting him.
"I would, but I don't like shitheads musclin' in on peace-lovin' people's territory. Matter o' principle," the fellow answers, then opens up his arms. Halesey hears a sound like a metal plate wobbling as something suddenly clashes near him. Looking to his right, he notices the sharp-dressed man.
"Hello. I hope you're enjoying yourself, because the night's only beginning!" he says, dusting off his tuxedo.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 20, 2013, 12:27:01 pm
Potato vortex the crap out of that hippy! Maximum potato!
Okay then, let's give diplomacy one last chance.
Use my mental powers to resist potato vortexing the crap out of that hippy immediately and instead prepare an even greater potato vortex to bring down on the existentio-fascist hippy scum!
((although I might change my mind in the morning))
Post by: Errol on October 20, 2013, 12:37:39 pm
Immobilizing pigeon barriers for everyone!
Post by: Toaster on October 20, 2013, 08:48:29 pm
Evoke mucus over the aggressors!
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 21, 2013, 02:18:32 pm
[Elizabeth's finesse vs. Sharp-Dressed Man's finesse: 6-->3-1 vs. 4+1]
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 5+1]
Suddenly, Halesey is encircled by a pipe-shaped, rather tight barrier of glowing pigeons of uncertain origin! Though surprised, Halesey takes the brief respite from glorious combat (even though one might say the true fight has not begun yet) to prepare what may be the mightiest vortex yet - he feels the power of tubers smash against the walls of dimensions, mentally locating a spot where the barrier seems weakest and poises himself to magically strike at it, hopefully tearing a hole in the fabric of the multiverse in the process.
Elizabeth, having crafted the barrier that immobilized her dear yet extremely dangerous acquaintance, speaks to the warring wizards.
"Er, hello? Everyone? This appears to be a colossal misunderstanding. We were only driven by curiosity and did not cause any harm to anyone... er, one man might be rather freaked out, and this day has certainly strained my patience. But there's no reason why we can't actually TALK THIS OUT. HERE. AND. NOW."
"Comin' from the people who blew my goddamn door down. Get the hell outta here first, then we talk elsewhere. That's the best offer I can give y'all. Take it, or we fight to the death, 'cause I sure as hell ain't bendin' to a bunch of assholes stormin' in here like they own the place."
The man waves his arm, materializing a small wall of pants that he starts to wield similarly to a shield.
Larry, meanwhile, contributes greatly to the peace talks.
"You might say it SNOT the time for peace!" he says, guffawing as he tries to evoke more mucus.
[Larry's affinity roll: 4+1]
[Larry's finesse roll: 4]
Larry twists his head around in a somewhat uncomfortable fashion, pointing his nose at the man pinning him to the ground. The rather somber-looking gentleman on his back is promptly hit in the face with a massive, extremely filthy sneeze that envelops his entire features and shoulders in a thick layer of snot.
[Fellow's body roll: 6-->1]
The man simply runs his hand over his face, wiping off a rather large amount of mucus and hurling it away. He stares sternly at Larry, scowling with disgust.
"You should be ashamed," he says, genuine resentment in his voice.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 21, 2013, 03:23:29 pm
Absorb the power of the ley line and Potato Vortex the crap out of that hippy! Maximum potato!
Post by: Toaster on October 21, 2013, 03:32:14 pm
BRACE FOR POTATOES AND AVOID BEING SUCKED IN
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 23, 2013, 09:02:37 am
Post by: Errol on October 23, 2013, 09:21:06 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 23, 2013, 09:48:11 am
"Your door, buttmunch?! This is public propery, dickweasel, unless you're Mr... Mr... Unused Factory Corp, or something... Prepare to leave, yer bleedin' arsebiscuit, and don't say I didn't warn you when you're crawling around crying for your mummy about how you're all naked and trapped in an eternity of vegetable! FEEL MY POTATOES, FECKER!"
[Halesey's affinity roll: 4+3-1]
The fabric of space and time, the spot having been chosen quite well by Halesey, implodes right behind the summoner man, who is understandably startled when potato hell opens up right behind him.
[Factory Wizard's body roll: 4-1]
The fellow stumbles, getting pulled into the vortex slowly, but surely. The sharp-dressed man, noticing the fellow in trouble, rushes to his aid!
[Sharp-Dressed Man's body roll: 5+1]
He cartwheels and flips through the moving mass of mop golems with unusual grace, grabbing his pal by the arm and holding it tightly, like a rock in a potato-based storm.
For their part, Larry and Elizabeth try to deal with possibly impending doom in varied ways - Larry stays where he is, opting to brace himself, which is helped by the fact that there's a reasonably heavy gentleman on top of him, while Elizabeth tries to get away as quickly as possible.
[Elizabeth's body roll: 3-1]
Sadly, however, the mucus holds her fast. Fortunately, though, the mucus holds her fast - she certainly is in no danger right now, she would say. The vortex seems to have been rather well-chosen in a way - it doesn't exert much of a pull on Halesey or his allies, though it does seem to be cleaning up the mop golems nicely.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 23, 2013, 10:17:07 am
Musical garbage blast sharp dressed man into the vortex!
Post by: Toaster on October 23, 2013, 10:19:26 am
Golem beam the fellow off me and into potato hell.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 25, 2013, 10:50:15 am
Post by: Tomcost on October 25, 2013, 10:53:57 am
Post by: lawastooshort on October 25, 2013, 10:56:45 am
Post by: Errol on October 25, 2013, 12:03:48 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 25, 2013, 02:23:09 pm
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5-1]
[Halesey's finesse roll: 6-->1]
He points his palm into the direction of the sharp-dressed man, screaming as he unleashes a not inconsiderable amount of solemnly lilting garbage that flies rapidly at the summoned individual!
[Sharp-Dressed Man's finesse roll: 1-->5+1-1]
The man in the tuxedo does not even see it coming, yelping as he is struck and propelled toward the portal, his apparent summoner in his arms!
[Sharp-Dressed Man's body roll: 6-->6+1-1]
The man seems totally unharmed, though, managing to roll nicely and come to a stop at the brink of the vortex, barely holding on to this reality.
Larry, equally occupied presently, tries to beam the grim fellow off himself.
[Larry's affinity roll: 2+1]
[Larry's finesse roll: 2]
A small golem shoots out of his palm, landing near him, totally unhelpful presently.
The sharp-dressed man, precariously balancing at the edge of reality, tries to move away from his position.
[Sharp-Dressed Man's body roll: 4]
He slowly starts to move away from the portal, and the wizard in his hands points his finger at Halesey. A small, yet profoundly sad-looking man is emitted from his palm in moments!
[Halesey's finesse roll: 4]
The small man hits the barrier around Halesey, plonking off it and falling to the ground.
Elizabeth, still stuck to the ground, tries to escape.
[Elizabeth's body roll: 6-->6-1]
Shockingly, through the raw power of pent-up frustration, she succeeds most admirably, gently tearing herself from the floor and sustaining hardly any damage in the process.
Maybe she doesn't need working out after all, she thinks.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 25, 2013, 02:55:19 pm
Safe within his wall of pigeons, Halesey did what had, in the space of less than a day, become the only thing he knew. He gathered up the force of the potato deep within, and prepared to put potatoey holes into both reality and his enemies. The potato had all but taken him over; it stoked his rage; it filled his mind. And once potato hell was filled: he was going to damn well fill it again, with another potato hell. It'd be like two facing mirrors, but made out of potatoes, and not flat, and not reflective, and filled with enemies and potatoes.
Stand firm within pigeons. Trust in pigeons to protect me. Kneel and outstretch both hands and call on power of the leyline to fill my Prepare Potato Vortex with incredible power!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on October 25, 2013, 07:51:12 pm
Focus on the ley line, and let its power flow into me.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 27, 2013, 01:30:29 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on October 27, 2013, 02:05:35 pm
I imagine that Liz would cast Vortex of Racist Beavers at the enemy wizard.
:)
Post by: Toaster on October 27, 2013, 02:15:33 pm
Post by: Errol on October 27, 2013, 04:38:35 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on October 27, 2013, 04:40:46 pm
You know what? Screw it. Vortex of Racist Beavers is go.
Yessssssssssssssssss, common sense reigns at last!
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 28, 2013, 02:14:50 am
"Damn you, wizardy dillweed! Damn you and your peons!" Halesey shouts at the wizard man, kneeling within his snug pigeon barrier and trying something truly special. He outstretches his hands and tries to take in the power of the leyline as he prepares a new potato vortex - bigger, better and more likely to eliminate pesky wizards that just won't go into potato hell like they truly deserve.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3-1]
No dice on the leyline, though. It just doesn't seem to open to him for some reason - whether that is due to its current ownership or some other happenstance remains to be seen. Undeterred, he just prepares his potato vortex the old-fashioned way, supposing it should work anyway, leyline or not.
Larry, supposing it can't hurt to try to exploit the leyline somehow as well, tries a very similar thing to Halesey.
[Larry's affinity roll: 4+1]
He does rather well at it, too! His intuition guides him as he strikes at the leyline, hoping to absorb some of its power!
[Wizard Man's affinity roll: 5+1]
However, the wizard man turns his attention Larry's way as he feels his power source being compromised, and Larry feels the power escape his grasp narrowly, the wizard man concentrating on keeping hold of this treasured magical phenomenon.
Elizabeth, meanwhile, has had a voice in the back of her head - oddly reminiscent of one of her current companions in a way - continually nagging about something. The Vortex of Racist Beavers, a mighty spell, to be sure. Up until now, she has not dared to listen to it.
This is about to change as she faces the ensuing combat.
[Elizabeth's mind roll: 1-->4+1]
Then she looks at the ceiling slightly away from the magical warfare happening nearby, supposing that's as good a place as any to try and summon a racist beaver vortex, and begins the necessary incantations. In a metaphorical sense, anyway - there's no real incantations involved, but that's just a niggling detail.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 3+1]
And indeed, a small vortex filled with highly unsavory-looking beavers appears on the ceiling in that spot, slowly drawing in a nearby golem. Godspeed, you poor bastard, you'll need all the luck in the world where you're going.
The sharp-dressed man, meanwhile, tries to get the wizard man to safety.
[Sharp-Dressed Man's body roll: 6-->3]
He throws the wizard man away, letting him land on a bunch of soft mop golems in the distance, then promptly disappears. The wizard man does not stop looking at where Larry knows the leyline to be at any time.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 28, 2013, 07:03:23 am
Repeat Potato Vortex at enemy wizard! In the face if possible.
((He will face potato doom if it's the last thing I do!))
((or racist beaver doom))
Post by: Errol on October 28, 2013, 07:17:35 am
((We're so gonna make this leyline unusable for everyone...))
Post by: Toaster on October 28, 2013, 08:43:59 am
Take that damn leyline as my rightful prize!
Post by: lawastooshort on October 28, 2013, 09:01:38 am
Post by: Scood on October 28, 2013, 10:09:53 am
Spoiler: Luke Blain (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 28, 2013, 04:06:49 pm
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->4-1+2]
Sadly, nothing comes of his valiant attempt to engage in vortex warfare! Luckily, Elizabeth is there to pick up the slack.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 1-->2+1]
She summons a very small point that soon emits a frenzied, presumably extradimensional beaver supremacy-related chattering accompanied by the whistling sound of air rushing through a small, beaver-filled hole in space. It is more than slightly unhelpful.
Larry, observing that the guy seems to be resisting him, redoubles his efforts!
[Opposed Affinity: Larry vs. Wizard Man: 1+1 vs. 2+1]
The man looks at him, and Larry quickly reconsiders this idea, opting to instead think of something else, as he isn't really all that good at staring people down.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 28, 2013, 04:40:40 pm
Halesey was so maddened with rage he was almost... madly enraged. He certainly wasn't in a fit state to think of excellent ways to describe his enraged state. He strode over to the arsebiscuit wizard, punched him in the face, physically lifted the fecker up, and transported him to the nearest vortex, into which he deposited him.
Melee the wizard. If there is a nearby vortex - preferably potato - lift up the wizard, and shove him in it. If there isn't then punch and kick him until he loses consciousness.
((If I have to settle for the punching and kicking then the fecker's still going into potato hell after))
Post by: Toaster on October 28, 2013, 05:11:43 pm
Keep pushing that ley line!
Post by: Errol on October 28, 2013, 05:59:46 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 29, 2013, 01:59:02 am
[Halesey's body roll: 5]
External observers might have noticed a mighty fist crash through the immobilizing pigeon barrier repeatedly, followed by the man himself, were they not overly occupied with leyline shenanigans happening. Halesey strolls purposefully toward the wizard man.
At the same time, Larry, contrary to his instincts, presses the assault on the leyline. He will have to defeat his awkwardness to triumph over this adversary!
[Opposed Affinity: Larry vs. Wizard Man: 3+1 vs. 3+1]
They engage in a magical staring contest once more, with Larry eager to prove himself the victor this time. Thus they stand in what is assuredly one of the more boring-looking standoffs in recent history.
Elizabeth, seeing an opportunity, decides to try her luck with the leyline as well.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 1-->4+1]
For some reason, the leyline gives off an impression of unfriendliness currently. Probably because there's a dude here trying to keep it all to himself, though Elizabeth can hardly prove this hypothesis in any way.
At this point, Halesey, not in any particular rush, has reached his wizard friend, who remains largely oblivious to interference due to his intense competition with Larry over who gets all the magic.
[Opposed Body: Halesey vs. Wizard Man: 6 vs. 2-1-1]
Halesey then drives his fist into the man's somewhat unpleasantly contorted features, hearing a satisfying cracking sound as they are promptly rearranged under the force exerted. As the wizard man stumbles backward off-balance, Halesey trips him up easily, sending him to the ground, then starts furiously kicking him, listening until he's made at least three more similar cracking sounds. It's strange, the dude's yelling is almost like piano in a way, you just have to know the right places to hit those keys... of course, a lot of practice is important as well.
After the fellow's yelling slowly peters out under the physical assault, becoming a quiet, pathetic whimper, Halesey supposes he's tenderized him enough. Now it's time for the next step. He grabs the guy by the leg, dragging him off to the potato vortex that's not too far away, really. He then attempts something like the hammer throw, with the wizard man as the hammer, and after several spins in place lets go of the wizard, who flies right into the vortex. The vortex, perhaps possessed of a not insignificant amount of dramatic flair, shuts behind the battered squatter turned sorcerer.
A pleasant silence settles on the room as Halesey exhales slowly. The golems, already stirring up to this point, begin to slowly and quietly leave the premises.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 29, 2013, 04:27:20 am
Bath in leyline awesomeness. Open magic binder and inform it off my success, and open my mind to it. I believe it said it would teach me some kind of ritual to make my magic less full of regular ultrafail.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on October 29, 2013, 08:35:22 am
"...wouldn't have been able to do that if I hadn't distracted him."
Whatever. His rightful power was now there for the taking!
Dive headfirst into the ley line goodness. Attempt to utterly absorb its power.
Post by: Errol on October 29, 2013, 08:48:32 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 29, 2013, 09:49:01 am
Well, except for Larry, who is still on the ground and in the arms of a depressed gentleman. He remains in that position instead. Nevertheless, they all begin to draw from the leyline, and, with the wizard guy gone, it proves much easier than beforehand.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->5-1]
Halesey, proud victor that he is, is the first to receive a generous helping of magic - and a very nice helping it is, too! He attunes himself with surprising ease to the magical power of the location, feeling for a moment like he's floating in some astral void before the sensation of power wafts into his nostrils and floods through his body like a cold shiver that then turns into something like a concentrated caffeine burst. Flush with success, he opens up his binder and is generally beamish and wordless toward it.
~Very nice work - a bit reckless, but nonetheless effective. The best and most reliable weapon against sorcerers of all kinds is to beat the snot out of them, it seems.~
Halesey wonders if there's some kind of ritual he could get here. That sounds like something useful.
~Not exactly a ritual, you know, but you do have some more magical power to work with now - you see, magic is a part of you now. You can use it... carefully and in little bits, of course. You're not quite at a level when you could regulate what spells you get - that's a little later, but right now, you can improve yourself in a way that's a bit easier than regular self-improvement - magic-assisted, you see. And all it takes is an effort - not even all that much of an effort - of will to do it. Simple. Hang on, let me put it another way.~
Suddenly, Halesey is struck by an unusual awareness of his own capabilities, his strengths and weaknesses. He is a pitiful mortal right now, he realizes, but this can change - all that's needed is time, effort, and more than a little attunement of his being.
Halesey has received 1 stat point! Add it to one of your stats.
Larry, meanwhile, tries to do the exact same thing as Halesey before him.
[Larry's affinity roll: 3+1]
He feels the leyline and gets a very good idea of its power - limitless, really. There's so much of it he could bathe in it for the rest of his days, actually. He begins to greedily bask in the invisible, yet radiant power, finding that it feels very much like being hit with a wave of liquid sunlight. As he feels generally content and illuminated, the voice in his head pipes up.
~STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT THERE!~
Larry wonders why.
~YOU WILL PERISH HORRIBLY, MORTAL! BESIDES, YOU DON'T NEED POWER! NOT AT ALL!~
Huh?
~YOUR POWER'S LIMITLESS AS IT IS! YOU CAN INVOKE MAGIC TO BEND REALITY OVER BACKWARDS AT ANY POINT! ANY GIVEN POINT! TROUBLE IS, YOU, LIKE MANY OTHER SORCERERS, ARE A PUNY FLESHLING, A SACK OF ORGANS THAT, BY ALL RIGHTS, SHOULDN'T VERY WELL BE ABLE TO ALTER REALITY AT ALL!~
~THEREFORE, YOUR COMPETENCE IS NOT A MATTER OF POWER AT ALL! IT'S MORE LIKE ATTUNEMENT! FUN PROCESS! YOU BECOME MORE MAGICAL, AND MAGIC HELPS YOU WITH ANYTHING YOU LIKE! HANG ON A SECOND, LET ME JUST...~
Larry feels an unsubtle twist in his composition - something changes, a void appears somewhere unquantifiable. Moments later, the void fills, and from this void flows the very stuff of dreams - magic, mana or whatever, he would guess - Larry is struck by a feeling of expansion, though not of a physical sort, or of a purely mental one, either. Long story short, it feels really weird, and he has this sensation of having some vague resource in excess, like finding and keeping a one hundred dollar bill you've found on the street.
And when you've got a resource in excess, that can mean only one thing - time to splurge!
Larry has received a stat point! Spend it wisely or amusingly!
Elizabeth is the last one to capitalize on the opportunity, hoping to get a scrap of the leyline for herself.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 4+1]
It's surprisingly simple to do this, Elizabeth realizes, but there's a catch. The power just floods into her, but it promptly flows out as well, leaving a subtly nauseating feeling. Hm. Perhaps she has some sort of capacity for magic, and-
~that's quite correct. you're not here for power, not exactly. you're here to get exposed, in a manner of speaking. changed, also. it's pretty easy. think harmony, and harmony happens. just one small step...~
It's true. Elizabeth feels something change within her as the magic works upon her, a certain alteration of perspective and the sweet feeling of adaptive change both take hold in her mind.
~and you become more magical. better living through magical exposure is the name of the game. sadly, this is as much as you're going to get from this leyline, at least in its unrefined, wild form. still pretty good for a start. bask in the silence of victory for a moment, and let the magic flow through you.~
They say that you become more different with the passing of each day - Elizabeth finds this to be particularly true now that she has some real, honest-to-goodness magic in her. She feels, if not totally different, then at least definitely improved somehow, energized, more capable. Adapted.
Elizabeth has received a stat point! Allocate it as soon as it is convenient to do so.
Post by: Errol on October 29, 2013, 10:16:41 am
She realized that a significant portion of the day she'd been clinging onto pipes for dear life, hugged to the ground by insane golems and stuck to the ground by -- uurgh goddamnit her clothes were really ruined she'd need a swankify clothing spell -- frozen snot. FROZEN SNOT. If wizarding was that physically demanding... though she yearned to use this newfound ability for greater magical attunement... she'd really need to adapt to that.
...hm. A few more things to do. She texted Kathryn about the successful leyline claim, tried to clean her clothes as far as she could, jotted down a few more ideas into her scrapbook, and then sat down on a rather clean surface, book in her lap.
How 'bout a few more spells as a victory celebration? ...by the way, I don't even know what I should call you. Any preferences for a name? I'm choosing one otherwise.
+1 Body. Roll the spell dice once more. Then do some exercises to test the power-up!
Spoiler: Elizabeth's Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on October 29, 2013, 10:57:13 am
"Come on, magic man, lay it on me. Help me get past this weak fleshy form!"
In any case, Larry understood the problem better. It wasn't a matter of power- it was just a case of wielding it properly. He would just have to hone his mind in on it so it would flow more to his bidding.
Speaking of weak fleshy forms, Larry continued to ignore the one sitting on him.
+1 Mind. Check the magic binder for more magic, especially a way to move past my weak fleshy form.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on October 29, 2013, 11:43:34 am
Take an Affiinity point. Lie down along the length of the leyline and just bask in the warm power of it. I'm quite happy with... certain of my spells. Just have a meditate on the nature of magical power, instead. Rest while my comrades spell up, and then we should go see the fat dude.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 30, 2013, 12:24:04 pm
Elizabeth, for instance, tries to text Kat and engage in conversation with her book at the same time. It works out rather well.
~How 'bout a few more spells as a victory celebration? ...by the way, I don't even know what I should call you. Any preferences for a name? I'm choosing one otherwise.~
~feel free. and some spells as well, yes.~
[Elizabeth's mind roll: 2+1]
The calmness of the moment does not play in Elizabeth's favor, and she hardly even notices a great deal of knowledge pass her by, only managing to latch onto one particular word combination this time.
Spoiler: Elizabeth's New Spell (click to show/hide)
At the same time, Larry rants from his prone position about the necessity of getting as much magic as he can to become less fleshy.
"Come on, magic man, lay it on me. Help me get past this weak fleshy form!" he says, burying his face in the tome which he has painstakingly wriggled out of his pants.
"I sincerely hope you are not speaking to me," the man on top of him mentions. Larry does not dignify this with a remark.
[Larry's mind roll: 2+1]
In the moment he considers doing so, though, a lot of magic has passed him right by, rather similarly to Elizabeth's predicament moments before. He catches but a single spell, exerting his newfound mental prowess in a somewhat effective way.
Spoiler: Larry's New Spell (click to show/hide)
Halesey, feeling a tad less proactive, lies down and just soaks up that nice magical radiation. It's like the sun, but tinglier. Maybe magic itself is like sunlight, too. It sure feels refreshing.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 30, 2013, 03:14:16 pm
Practice shooting a bolt of beans at the man lying on Larry.
Post by: Toaster on October 30, 2013, 03:20:18 pm
Sub out Curse Pudding. Try out the new spell on this dude sitting on me. Equip the coolest looking hat that gets summoned, preferably a wizard one.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on October 30, 2013, 03:35:37 pm
Post by: Errol on October 30, 2013, 06:54:28 pm
Post by: Toaster on October 30, 2013, 07:20:58 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 31, 2013, 07:33:40 am
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->3]
He suddenly becomes aware of a bunch of beans appearing somewhere within him. Judging by the way he isn't dead right now, it probably wasn't anywhere too important.
Larry, in the meantime, tries out his new spell to summon some hats on the guy who's laying on top of him.
[Larry's affinity roll: 4+1]
A whole bunch of hats - at least a dozen - suddenly materializes out of the blue, landing on top of the gentleman clutching onto Larry.
"And now I am being used as a hat rack. Truly, I am moving up in the world."
Nobody pays him any mind, and Elizabeth, no longer the limp noodle of a person she used to be, walks confidently up to the pile of hats and does some fun magic.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 2+1]
She picks up a hat, a woolen skullcap in this case, and swankifies it - it becomes a little sparkly as a result. A bit gauche, really. She expected better.
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on October 31, 2013, 07:50:44 am
Try to focus on the beans in me. Try to Displace Beans the hell out of me.
Post by: Toaster on October 31, 2013, 12:44:45 pm
Try to focus on the beans in me. Try to Displace Beans the hell out of me.
((I see all sorts of fun and hilarious ways for this to go wrong.))
Well, that was effective, Larry guesses. "Okay dude, you gotta go now."
Get the fat guy off me. Mucus him if I can't shove him off.
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 03, 2013, 04:15:04 am
Post by: Toaster on November 03, 2013, 09:18:01 am
Post by: Errol on November 03, 2013, 10:59:25 am
Also why is Toaster's suggestion perfectly reasonable. Let's swankify the shit out of those hats. Hell, double-swankify one of them.
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 03, 2013, 12:05:02 pm
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3]
A single indestructible bean appears in the palm of his hand, though he knows there must be more. And he must get them all.
Larry, hoping that the last time he tried this was a fluke, attempts to evoke mucus all over the gentleman restraining him again.
[Larry's affinity roll: 5+1]
[Larry's finesse roll: 1-->2]
He doesn't quite manage to swivel his head toward the man as effectively as he did before - perhaps that's just as well, as the motion was probably quite unhealthy for his spine. As such, he only manages to sneeze mightily at the floor, covering it in a brand new layer of piping hot respiratory secretions. Nobody particularly minds, though Larry does become wary of putting his face down on the ground again. Not to mention that now his binder is covered in snot as well.
Elizabeth just keeps on swankifying hats like there's no tomorrow, though, paying all the mucus no mind. She picks up some of the hats and goes about swankifying them.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 3+1]
The next hat comes out a little better, getting a nice-looking peacock feather jutting out of its hatband in addition to becoming generally shinier. The transformations seem to happen one at a time, though. How disappointing.
Post by: Toaster on November 03, 2013, 02:10:10 pm
Focus on getting this dude off me.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 03, 2013, 02:24:37 pm
Displace Beans from inside of me to inside the man on Larry.
Post by: Errol on November 03, 2013, 05:19:54 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 04, 2013, 01:16:24 pm
While he schemes, the others assist. Halesey attempts a little bean displacement.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 2]
Sadly, he's lost track of the beans within him, wherever they may be. Presumably wreaking havoc like beans naturally tend to.
Elizabeth, who favors a direct approach this time, gets physical.
[Opposed Body rolls: Elizabeth vs. Gentleman: 3 vs. 3-1]
She grabs the man and slowly disentangles him from Larry, rolling the fellow into a nice, cozy puddle of mucus on the way. She hopes that's the end of all this sweaty, mucus-encrusted business and that they can all get back to what's important - magic!
Elizabeth and Halesey suddenly both hear something - footsteps. They're approaching slowly.
Post by: Toaster on November 04, 2013, 01:26:26 pm
Unleash the focused groin-kicks!
Post by: lawastooshort on November 04, 2013, 02:07:53 pm
Halesey motions almost silently to Elizabeth.
"Know what that probably means? One of three things, and potato hell is the only answer I got to the lot of 'em..."
Draw in the power of the leyline and focus it into shooting forth a blast of potato hell. Take cover with the potato vortex prepared and pointing towards the footsteps. Probably best not to fire it off yet though.
Post by: Errol on November 04, 2013, 03:12:47 pm
Put a pigeon shield up. Pigeons of peace and all that jazz. Then prepare to cast palm-mounted frozen napkin portals, and position self to look straight in the direction fo the footsteps.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 04, 2013, 04:05:52 pm
Post by: Toaster on November 04, 2013, 04:18:32 pm
Post by: Errol on November 04, 2013, 04:43:00 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on November 04, 2013, 04:51:48 pm
Post by: Toaster on November 04, 2013, 04:52:30 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 05, 2013, 01:54:10 am
Halesey, being more aware of his surroundings, prepares for battle. He draws magical power from the leyline, filling himself nearly to the point of bursting, then starts to prepare a potato vortex from cover, feeling almost instinctively that this will be his most powerful vortex yet - he can almost taste it at the back of his throat.
Elizabeth, on her part, tries to fashion a glowing pigeon barrier to protect herself.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 5+1]
And behold, there it is! A glowing pigeon barrier appears in front of her, providing a solid wall that all would-be aggressors will have to bypass first to get to her.
As the preparations continue, a familiar face shows itself at the door. Somewhat unsurprisingly, it's the fat guy.
"Hey, guys! I heard the fighting sounds quiet down, so I supposed you were all done here. That so?"
Post by: lawastooshort on November 05, 2013, 08:00:20 am
Halesey turns 180 degrees and is about to let off the pent up potato blast behind him at the furthest wall when he has second thoughts and tries to hold it in, to see how far he can control the power.
”Hello, yeah, um. So… uh. We used magic to take over this leyline like you asked. What next? Shall we go forth and... uh. Yeah.”
Speak thusly and seek to control the vital power of potato hell within me!
Post by: Errol on November 05, 2013, 09:48:36 am
"I should've made a bet with you guys." She turns to face Most Honorable Sir General Secretary.
"By the way, what were you doing that was more important than helping us out? Maybe I'd not look like a savage if you had intervened. Anyway, what's the next step?"
Post by: Toaster on November 06, 2013, 11:54:42 am
He kicks the prone man for emphasis.
"Now what?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 06, 2013, 01:31:44 pm
”Hello, yeah, um. So… uh. We used magic to take over this leyline like you asked. What next? Shall we go forth and... uh. Yeah.”
"I can see you did! Sweet, dudes. Righteous work you did here. Now wait a moment."
He steps over to where Halesey knows the leyline to be, and looks in a completely different direction from it.
"Awesome vibes you got here. You guys are great! The best! Really, I mean that."
Elizabeth then also joins in on the questioning.
"By the way, what were you doing that was more important than helping us out? Maybe I'd not look like a savage if you had intervened. Anyway, what's the next step?"
"Why, I was trailing you guys, watching how you did on taking care of this bit of business. I can safely say I've been real pleased with your performance, and that you're all I could ask for in apprentices. And I'm sure your hair... oh God, what's all this... well, I'm sure it'll grow back. So, um, yeah. I was evaluating you guys. Being on the down low and all."
"Really. Thanks for the help, there. Kinda had a fat guy on me I would have loved to have been not on me." Larry adds, kicking the individual on the ground right in the nuts again.
"Now what?"
"I guess you're initiated into the arcane mysteries of magic or some shit, so I guess it's time we all picked ourselves new names. Wizard names. Cool-sounding names. It's totally a part of being a wizard, don't you know. My book tells me it's integral to the whole thing! I've already got mine - I'll be known as Morbrayne! Sweet, eh?"
The fat guy opens his arms in a 'ta-da' motion, grinning at the assembled people.
"Have ya given any thought to your new names? Well, ya probably haven't, considering I didn't tell you any of this shit until now, but... any bright ideas on what you'd like to be known as?"
Post by: Toaster on November 07, 2013, 11:29:55 am
"Wizard name... you mean like Awesome God Mage or something? That's a possibility, but how about.. Enolamyrral?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 07, 2013, 11:31:48 am
Wizard names- now that could be interesting. "Larry" didn't exactly inspire fear or trepidation.
"Wizard name... you mean like Awesome God Mage or something? That's a possibility, but how about.. Enolamyrral?"
"Dude, that's, like, straight outta Wizardry and shit. Go for it, man!"
Post by: lawastooshort on November 07, 2013, 02:35:11 pm
Halesey was lost in thought for a few seconds, totally imagining bad guys quivering in fear, shouting "Oh no! Oh no! Not... Not the Potato Avenger - we done for now!"
Post by: Toaster on November 07, 2013, 02:38:44 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on November 07, 2013, 02:40:50 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 09, 2013, 08:10:13 am
"Wow. Lar- er, Enolamyrral. You, like, totally know magicspeak or something. I think... I think I'd like to be, maybe, Potatoes Halesey, The Industrial Avenger. Yeah. AKA The Potato Avenger."
Halesey was lost in thought for a few seconds, totally imagining bad guys quivering in fear, shouting "Oh no! Oh no! Not... Not the Potato Avenger - we done for now!"
"The... Potato Avenger. Hm. Well, okay. Sounds a bit more superhero-like than wizardly, but I guess that's your choice."
He directs a glance at Elizabeth, who is silent currently.
Post by: Errol on November 11, 2013, 07:06:41 pm
..ehh...
..how about Lime Sage Liliana? Or just the Lime Sage? I guess Lime Sage is the obviously awesome title you put on a letterhead, and Liliana the actual wizardly name. I think that works. Can always add more words. Well then, it's settled, I'll go with it. Alright!"
Post by: Toaster on November 11, 2013, 09:06:35 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 12, 2013, 02:45:46 pm
"Er. Um. What? Well, yes, choosing a name takes time, you know! I like taking my time with that and there's nothing wrong with that as you should be well aware of and... uh... ehh..."
"..how about Lime Sage Liliana? Or just the Lime Sage? I guess Lime Sage is the obviously awesome title you put on a letterhead, and Liliana the actual wizardly name. I think that works. Can always add more words. Well then, it's settled, I'll go with it. Alright!"
The fat guy sighs contentedly.
"Sure. Why not. Let's go with that. Right, so, now we gotta figure out what's next. And that means I gotta figure it out. Luckily, I got it covered. Ya see, you guys are gonna have to get legal ownership of this place. Find out who owns it, get the deed from them, get all the paperwork in order by any means necessary - meanwhile, I'll be drafting up what we'll be doing to this place. Make suggestions if ya feel like it, but get the property in our hands - we're gonna be doing major work here. Any questions?"
He starts to look at an unrelated corner of the room interestedly.
Post by: Toaster on November 12, 2013, 02:51:01 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 12, 2013, 02:57:33 pm
Larry looks at the fat man blankly. "Are you nuts? We took this ley line with our power. It is our right to have it! We are well above the law at this point- who cares about everything else? Next is bending this world to it knees!"
"There's loads of other wizards out there, and they got more leylines and more apprentices than I do. And more spells between 'em, in all likelihood. Better we keep our profiles low and not get our asses handed to us before we can make this place into a proper conduit for magic. Although we could try to snag more leylines as well, though they'll probably have better protection than this one - this was the only mostly unoccupied one I knew of in the area."
Post by: Toaster on November 12, 2013, 02:59:21 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 12, 2013, 03:03:30 pm
Larry frowns. "Just how many of these ley lines are there? How many do we need before we can start creating our own dimensions and shit?"
"A few around here, some more in other places. About four or so in this town, yeah. As for our own dimensions... shit, I dunno. I guess with the right words we could make dimensions right now. Trouble is getting them to come out."
Post by: Toaster on November 12, 2013, 03:06:29 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on November 12, 2013, 04:13:02 pm
Spoiler: Halesey the Fiendish Potato Mage (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on November 12, 2013, 04:15:27 pm
Larry flexes. It's not impressive.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 12, 2013, 04:19:15 pm
Post by: Toaster on November 12, 2013, 04:23:24 pm
Post by: Errol on November 12, 2013, 04:32:51 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on November 12, 2013, 04:41:27 pm
Post by: Toaster on November 12, 2013, 04:54:53 pm
Go look.
Post by: Cheesecake on November 13, 2013, 06:05:28 am
Points:
Body 1
Finesse 1
Mind 3
Affinity 1
(I haven't been paying attention, sorry, so can someone give me a recap please?)
Post by: lawastooshort on November 13, 2013, 07:09:42 am
(I haven't been paying attention, sorry, so can someone give me a recap please?)
(Yeah, we used potatoes and bodily violence to take over a leyline, and had an incident involving potatoes on the way. Errol's hair is also covered in mucus.
Think that's it?)
Post by: Toaster on November 13, 2013, 09:46:26 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 16, 2013, 03:28:07 am
"... Potato Hell... I was just gonna mention it dude - we already can create other dimensions. You know, if we can't magic some gold out of thin air then yeah, we should take the owner, shove him in Potato Hell for a bit, tell that's where he stays if he don't sign the deeds over, and then... well, who care then, eh? Let's get down to the town hall or something. Where are property rights kept round here?"
The dude, or Morbrayne, as he prefers to be known, looks flummoxed.
"Um... well... I didn't quite think that far, to be honest. I'm sure ya can figure it out, right? I got plans to draft. Gotta rearrange the things here."
A little bit of discussion and a patch of embarrassment later, the magnificent Enolamyrral has heard enough.
"...Bah, let's just go look."
And he does! He wonders where to go, though. He supposes there should be a place where this sort of thing can be sorted out, but where? And who to ask about it? He's heard there's departments across the city - the legal system's a bit weird here, not to mention rather oblique for the common man.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 16, 2013, 04:37:08 am
Post by: Toaster on November 18, 2013, 11:47:30 am
"So... do we find a real estate agent, or what?"
Go find one.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 18, 2013, 12:00:13 pm
Find an estate agent!
Post by: Toaster on November 18, 2013, 11:36:11 pm
Post by: Errol on November 20, 2013, 03:14:12 am
Also go look for that real estate agent!
Post by: lawastooshort on November 20, 2013, 06:21:40 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 20, 2013, 10:29:26 am
Luckily for them, one practically falls right into their hands - or at least they spot a billboard for one, whatever that might count for. Some guy named Herbert Whey - apparently a new guy in town, judging by the advertising, which bills him as a 'real estate consultant/agent/broker/all-round expert'. Figuring he's as good as anybody, the people visit his office, which just so happens to be not too far from said billboard - located in a relatively new-looking building on the third floor, with a waiting room that offers a nice view of several nearby tenements. It takes but a minute or so of waiting before somebody comes out to meet them.
In this case, it is a man in a somewhat expensive suit, probably in his thirties, smiling widely at them. It's one of those practiced smiles, clearly - he can't quite manage to put his eyes into it, though it is admittedly hard to tell, considering how thick and large his glasses are.
"Hello, I'm Herbert Whey, as I'm sure you know, and might I say you've picked an absolutely wonderful time to visit me. How can I help you?"
Post by: lawastooshort on November 20, 2013, 10:34:48 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 20, 2013, 10:57:25 am
"Hi, my name is Mr Benjamin Halesey - you might have heard of me, I'm from the UK, and I am here to buy a factory and revitalise the area. Just the one factory to begin with, but I have some heavy investment behind me, so if it makes money we'll be doing some more. These are my colleagues Larry and Elizabeth - they're the financial whizkids behind the maths. Or math, as you call it, hahaha. So I'd like you to look into how I can go about getting the deeds to this factory, and then buying it."
"Ah, fantastic. I knew the offers would start rolling in any day now. I'm sure there might be a few for sale that I could locate for you - for a nominal fee, obviously."
Post by: lawastooshort on November 20, 2013, 04:20:18 pm
I wonder if he takes payment in hats or potatoes?
"If we can exchange all the necessary details I'll get Elizabeth to sort out the payment, if you can find you for this particular factory. Sound good?"
((er, how are we going to pay him? I propose stalling until getting the necessary paperwork done, and then using magic))
Post by: Toaster on November 20, 2013, 04:22:58 pm
"Yes, it's quite the place."
Assist with negotiations.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 20, 2013, 04:46:53 pm
I'd prefer to pay, but if we can't, we can always make unrefusable offers...))
Post by: Toaster on November 20, 2013, 09:37:12 pm
Post by: Errol on November 21, 2013, 03:16:48 am
Post by: lawastooshort on November 21, 2013, 05:24:37 am
((though I'd prefer to just generate endless amounts of lottery tickets and use legitimate cash))
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 21, 2013, 06:29:58 am
"Well, you know, there's only this one that we're interested in to begin with - I'll get Larry to jot you down the exact address - but I'm sure the nominal fee can be arranged."
I wonder if he takes payment in hats or potatoes?
"If we can exchange all the necessary details I'll get Elizabeth to sort out the payment, if you can find you for this particular factory. Sound good?"
((er, how are we going to pay him? I propose stalling until getting the necessary paperwork done, and then using magic))
"Ah, so you are interested in a particular place? Why didn't you say so? I suppose I could rather easily check up on the state and possible price of this factory you seek - shouldn't take long at all. Nevertheless, you will have to pay me for my time - about two hundred dollars or so should cover our partnership for the next few days or so, yes."
Post by: lawastooshort on November 21, 2013, 06:37:57 am
Post by: Toaster on November 21, 2013, 09:05:33 am
Also, what kind of asshole agent charges up front?))
Post by: lawastooshort on November 21, 2013, 09:17:50 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 21, 2013, 09:38:20 am
"How about a hundred bucks now, and a hundred in a couple of days when you've done the work? Cash?"
"Ah, you see, it does not work that way. What you are paying already is merely half of the total payment. If you cannot rustle up two hundred dollars, well... not to imply anything offensive, but it does cast your entrepreneurial claims into doubt, does it not?"
Post by: lawastooshort on November 21, 2013, 09:51:21 am
((this is my action))
"Arrrrrgh! THIS IS NOT HOW ONE DOES BUSINESS IN BRITAIN! YOU THINK I JUST CARRY AROUND HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS IN CASH? NO ONE USES CASH IN THE MODERN WORLD EXCEPT CRIMINALS AND BENT ESTATE AGENTS! GET THE DAMN PAPERS, BUTTMUNCH! Larry, Elizabeth, leave the room please."
POTATO VORTEX THE MAN'S HEAD!
Post by: Nunzillor on November 21, 2013, 12:21:21 pm
Post by: Toaster on November 21, 2013, 12:32:30 pm
Exit stage left
Post by: lawastooshort on November 21, 2013, 04:13:44 pm
Hell yeah! Your character is metal, la!
((I think you misspelt "a raging eejit drunk on the ultimate power of potato"
But it looks like no one is either stopping me or providing a better plan/cash, so let's commence Plan Potato. It can only go horribly right, or horribly wrong, or horribly averagely))
Post by: Nunzillor on November 22, 2013, 02:01:46 am
In any case, he definitely does seem rather crazed. I actually thought Larry would be the first to be corrupted, since he loves power.
Post by: Errol on November 22, 2013, 09:00:53 am
Step out and put on headphones at full blast. Start reading, blissfully ignorant of whatever happens inside.
((Also I can't generate lottery tickets anymore. Swapped it out like fifteen turns ago. Yeah I know I know.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 22, 2013, 09:41:08 am
"Larry, Elizabeth, leave the room please," he tells his compatriots in a lot calmer tone, at which point Larry and Elizabeth eagerly comply without a care in the world. As they leave, Herbert looks over at Halesey.
"Now, there's no need to do anything ha-"
[Halesey's affinity roll: 2]
Halesey makes his very best magic face and stares at Herbert witheringly, which makes the real estate agent quiet down and shrink back, putting his back to the wall. And so they stand, with Halesey attempting to summon up his mighty potato vortex, but meeting only impressive-looking failure while Herbert tries to work up the courage to say something to him. After a moment, the agent has a quip in hand.
"Oh my God, you're a complete lunatic, aren't you? I knew I should have invested in a security guard," he stammers out at the rather intimidating-looking Brit opposite him.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 22, 2013, 09:53:38 am
ARGGGGGG! JUST! JU-
ohnoit'scomingagainpleaseifIstartgurglingcallmyemployeesbackin"
Halesey sinks to his knees, holding his head in his hands and concentrating harder on busting out a good sized potato vortex at the damn fellow's face.
Post by: Toaster on November 22, 2013, 10:04:03 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 22, 2013, 10:07:30 am
"ARGGGGGG! JUST! JU-ohnoit'scomingagainpleaseifIstartgurglingcallmyemployeesbackin" he starts to frightfully mutter, his mind concentrating on making that damn potato vortex a reality right here, right now.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3+1]
A vortex begins to form in front of Herbert's face opening a sizable hole in the fabric of spacetime. This is alarming, as said vortex seems to be floating in an immobile fashion in thin air. Well, that's how Herbert sees it, anyway. To Halesey, this is merely Saturday.
[Herbert's body roll: 2]
The agent tries to get away from the vortex, but is a bit too slow, as the vortex immediately pulls his head in with what Halesey can't help but consider a satisfying plop.
"Aagh! Sweet mother of god, what's happening?" comes his muffled cry from within the vortex, almost inaudible.
Larry, meanwhile, was about to remark on the lack of potatoes, but there it went. That eldritch whisper of tuber rubbing up against tuber. It is a sound altogether familiar to Larry by now, enough to recognize it at 50 paces and run immediately, at any rate.
Post by: Toaster on November 22, 2013, 10:10:06 am
Was that a twitch in Larry's eye?
Post by: lawastooshort on November 22, 2013, 10:35:39 am
It was a shame Halesey couldn’t also guarantee that the building would survive intact, but, well, you know. Life is tough, innit.
If he agrees to do what he can to get me that factory's legal rights, pull him out and offer him a favour in return.
Post by: Nunzillor on November 23, 2013, 12:45:58 am
Also, my new favorite description: "that eldritch whisper of tuber against tuber." :D
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 23, 2013, 12:04:39 pm
”OH CRAP. Did I say ‘condition’? ‘Terrible rage’? I meant to say, arg, crikey, you know what, I’m a living conduit to POTATO HELL, and I’m sending you there if you don’t just get me the goddamn papers out the goddamn filing cabinet! NO ONE doubts my entrepreneurial abilities without going to potato hell to goddamn witness said abilities first hand. Now, you get me those papers, get me that factory, and I’ll pull you outta there. Hell, I'll even do you a favour and deal with someone who's troubling you, if you understand. We got a deal?” he shouts out in a firm manner, hoping Herbert can hear him at the moment. He doesn't have to wait long for confirmation.
"I'll do anything! Please, help me!"
Eh, good enough. Halesey walks over to Herbert, places his hands on his suit and gives a tug.
[Halesey's body roll: 4]
The estate agent proves easy to pull out, fortunately. He, as can be expected from the uninitiated in the potato arts, was probably just caught in the terror of it all a tad too much.
"Oh, thank you, thank you so much! I'll do anything, just please don't do that again!" he says, tears welling up in his eyes. His glasses appear to be gone now. Good riddance, too. They looked absolutely ridiculous.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 23, 2013, 01:57:40 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 23, 2013, 01:59:56 pm
"Yeah, dude, I'm a reasonable man. I just want that factory, okay? And, you know, perhaps you have someone who you want to see the inside of potato hell, yeah? We can make this a useful mutual relationship, if you help me with this. You've got the legal knowledge; I've got the potatoes, right?"
"Oh no, no need to do me any favors! I'm perfectly happy not being in potato hell myself, thank you very much! I'll just be getting to that business you want me to do, yes. No need for more potatoes, please!"
Post by: lawastooshort on November 23, 2013, 02:52:19 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 23, 2013, 03:04:06 pm
"Okay, that's cool - but remember if you need a favour some time - I'll help those who help me, yeah? And don't get any ideas about telling anyone about this. Who's gonna believe potato hell, right?"
"Of course! Yes! Not a word! And I'll get to it right away!"
He seems to be sweating profusely.
"Could you, um, remove that potato hell-portal, please? If it's not too much trouble, I mean. And you're feeling up to it, erm, sir."
Post by: lawastooshort on November 23, 2013, 03:53:33 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 23, 2013, 04:19:33 pm
"Well, I can't stop summoning it, and it will disperse of its own accord, but it's such an enormous and grotesque whirl of power that it cannot just be commanded to vanish. Now that I have willed it to stop, it should fold in on itself and leave shortly. Do not fear for your property, good man. How long do you think it'll take to sort out this documentation?"
"Well, I can... do an analysis? Find out who the guy you need is, point you in his direction, and then you can... I dunno, talk to him? Do you actually have any money?"
Post by: lawastooshort on November 23, 2013, 04:40:10 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 23, 2013, 04:48:41 pm
"Well, yes, as far as I know I have access to money, but I kind of leave that... accounting side of things to Larry and Liz, you know? I'm just kind of the man with the ideas... and the potatoes... Yeah, if you do that, we'll go talk to the guy. I guess I need to get Larry and Liz to update me with the financial side of things. I'm more, well, the creative leadery type, you see. I'll try to get them to sort out your fee, too."
"Oh no, no fee! No fee! Yes, no fee. There's no need for a fee. We're all friends here now, right? Yes?"
Post by: lawastooshort on November 23, 2013, 04:59:13 pm
Halesey walks to the door and opens it.
"Larry, Elizabeth? Can you come back in now?"
He asks them quietly, so Herbert can't hear.
"Er, any chance you can magic something up to pay the dude?"
Post by: Toaster on November 24, 2013, 12:00:50 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on November 24, 2013, 02:09:23 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 24, 2013, 02:42:09 pm
"Er... Hats? I guess? He could... Hmm. Hey, Herbert? You like hats?"
"Oh yes. Love hats. I try to wear them as often as possible. Let me get one now. I distinctly recall forgetting to put mine on today."
Post by: Toaster on November 24, 2013, 08:48:59 pm
His laugh still sucks.
SUMMON HATS!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on November 25, 2013, 04:38:59 am
Wait until hats are summoned, wait until Herbert has a lead, and then go find whoever he points us towards for the deed.
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 26, 2013, 03:12:48 pm
"Well, then hats off to you! Bwa bwa bwa!" he says, busting out some of the crappiest laughter anyone's heard today and waving his right hand in a vaguely magical fashion while looking generally witchy and sinister.
[Larry's affinity roll: 5+1]
A pile of nice-looking hats materializes right in front of Herbert - there's a remarkable assortment there, actually. Stylish-looking trilbies, cowboy hats, fezzes, skullcaps, derbies, fedoras, top hats and more can be seen sticking out from the sizable pile. Herbert retreats a step from the pile, visibly shocked by the way physics don't quite seem to apply to the world today.
"Uhm... okay..."
"Perhaps Liz can work her hat magic on them..." Halesey suggests, looking at Elizabeth, who pays no attention, busy with what may be deep thoughts or just a complete detachment from reality. Wonder when she's going to snap out of it.
"Well, these hats will surely do nicely... but which factory was it you're looking for? I don't quite recall you mentioning that, I'm afraid."
Post by: Toaster on November 26, 2013, 03:17:06 pm
Grab the swankest looking top hat. Give him the address (or at least describe the location).
Post by: lawastooshort on November 26, 2013, 04:04:17 pm
Cast Rain of Shampoo whilst no one is looking.
Spoiler: Halesey the Fiendish Potato Mage (click to show/hide)
edit: I mean Rain of Shampoo, not the other way around.
edit 2: I'd been copying a sheet where I hadn't added the one stat point we got...
Post by: Toaster on November 26, 2013, 10:44:18 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 29, 2013, 07:55:52 am
"It was the... uh... I'll have to pass you over to Larry for this one, sorry Herbert. I'm not very good with locations either, I'm afraid. I guess we could take you there if necessary? You mind if I also take a hat? You never know, might need one."
"Of course. Take any hats that you like, sir!" Herbert replies nervously as he watches Larry secure his share of the spoils. Larry, seeing that people once again absolutely require his expertise, gladly provides it.
"Yeah, sure... it was... hm. It was somewhere. Pretty sure, yeah. And it looks like an abandoned factory," Larry explains laconically, eying his new treasure distractedly.
"That's a little... um... well, not that I can't work with that, but it's a little... vague. I'm sorry. Could you be, uh, clearer? Please? Unless you mind."
This, Halesey believes, is an opportunity he cannot neglect. Liz is adventuring inside her own head, Larry is consumed by hat-related euphoria and Herbert is trying to submissively extract information. Everyone is distracted but him. Time for shenanigans. He looks out the window and, like a certain dinosaur-summoner before him, tries to bend the very atmosphere to his will.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->2]
Something goes wrong, however! Halesey feels an odd burning sensation in his eyes all of a sudden, and his eyes begin to water. He blinks a few times and grimaces, but it only starts to burn more. He puts his hands to his eyes and tries to rub them, and this is when he becomes aware that something is even wronger than previously suspected. What little he can see of his hands paints a disturbing picture - they are covered in a bubbly, whitish substance of some kind.
As the burning becomes ever more pronounced, Halesey can bear it no longer. He stops blinking and closes his eyes. It burns less that way.
Post by: Toaster on November 29, 2013, 08:51:03 am
Call fat guy if anyone comes up with number. Lead the agent there if not. Concentrate on ley line for guidance if needed.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 29, 2013, 09:05:16 am
Ask and await description, whilst pondering if I can do anything about my burning eyes, which presumably have shampoo leaking out of and into them. Blast.
Post by: Tomcost on November 29, 2013, 09:13:35 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 29, 2013, 10:05:58 am
"Did anyone get the fat guy's number? I think he had the address. Or we could just walk him there?"
Nobody is forthcoming with any phone numbers, though. And Halesey looks more distracted than usual. His eyes also seem to be full of soapy-looking white stuff. Some of it is running down his cheeks.
"Crap. I think someone's cursed my face or something. Larry, look at me. What the eejiting hell is happening to my face?"
Larry, though an educated, cultured man, isn't sure how to explain this exactly. His first instinct would be to say that Halesey is crying soap for some reason. And by some reason, he means "magic", because it is not only the simplest explanation that is always available, it has also gained shocking validity after today's events.
Halesey, who has no opportunity to survey what is happening to his face, unlike Larry, wonders what he could possibly do about it. He supposes he could wait for it to pass. Or he could dunk his head in milk, that might work as well. Or he could do this the proper, and some would say only worthwhile way, with the assistance of a potato vortex. After all, potato vortexes have so far been the solution to every problem. Halesey sees no reason why he should go against common wisdom, really.
Unaware of Halesey's predictable thought process, Larry decides to lead Herbert over to the factory, which isn't really very far at all, just a couple blocks away. Larry silently leads Herbert over there and points at the building.
"Oh, that place! 17 Import Avenue! I think I actually know the guy who owns it. I think I have his name written down someplace in my office. Let's, um, go back there, yes? I'm not feeling very good about leaving Mr. Halesey back there all alone."
* * * * *
As the rather awful Saturday afternoon begins to draw to a close, many people of all walks of life are running down the tree-lined Harper Avenue. Shouts of triumph and screams of terror mingle together as the procession storms through the streets, carried by the spirit of panic and recent freedom, and also the fact that there's dinosaurs. Goddamn dinosaurs running about, yeah, that too. They don't seem overly concerned with eating all human life yet, but can you really trust the feathered fiends? The group of doctors over at Sweet Temperance Sanitarium clearly didn't, running off and evacuating like they did. At least they left the doors open.
Willy is particularly glad. He never liked those doctors. They were mean to him the entire time he was there. They treated him even worse than the Human Skeleton or Crazy Tim. Well, they kinda treated him the same, really, except they were smug and patronizing about it to an unusual degree. Fortunately, that's over now. Now he gets to open up a new page on his life, one with fewer mean doctors that keep telling him wrong things and lies all the time.
As Willy runs as quickly as his legs will allow, he becomes aware of a pair of hands grabbing him from behind. They are familiar hands. Their rather coarse, spindly texture and the profound lack of manners they display both quickly betray that they belong to none other than Hungry Pete, the funny man who once lived in the room next to Willy.
"Come with me, boy! I have secrets I wish to reveal!" Hungry Pete declares, tugging at Willy's shoulders and trying to get him away from the crowd. Willy wonders if he needs an adult right now.
Nah, who is he kidding. He doesn't need adults. Billy's always there to give him sound advice.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 29, 2013, 10:18:41 am
Er... what?
Halesey snaps back to the soap-teared present as Larry and Herbert walk back.
”Dude, I’m bloody well crying soap… no, wait. Shampoo. Crap.”
If I rinse them with water it’ll probably foam up… but you should always rinse with cold fresh water, right?”
”Hey Herbert, where’s the bathroom? I need to rinse this shampoo out of my eyes…”
Presuming Herbert answers, go to bathroom and rinse eyes profusely.
Post by: Cheesecake on November 29, 2013, 07:07:29 pm
"Yeah, you tell 'em Willy! Billy's the only friend you'll ever need. But he has secrets! Billy likes secrets!"
"Really? Fiiine, but this is gonna be your early birthday present!"
Go with the man. Try to grab something sharp or heavy along the way, juuust in case.
Nah, who is he kidding. He doesn't need adults. Billy's always there to give him sound advice.
Hahahaha.
Post by: Toaster on November 29, 2013, 10:20:32 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 30, 2013, 03:33:16 am
"So, now that that's cleared up, I can-"
”Dude, I’m bloody well crying soap… no, wait. Shampoo. Crap.”
Larry looks at him, but Halesey can't really see that. Instead, he only hears Herbert.
"Uh... oh, sorry! So sorry for not helping! What can I do?"
”Hey Herbert, where’s the bathroom? I need to rinse this shampoo out of my eyes…”
Herbert stammers for a moment, but comes up with an answer.
"It's right over the- no, wait, you can't see, right? Sorry. Let me take you there," he says, hurriedly leading Halesey to a nearby door and opening it. "The sink is to your right, sir!" he says, then gets back to Larry.
"So... about that factory, yeah?" Larry asks him.
"RIGHT! YES! Of course!" Herbert says, scrambling into his office and starting to dig through his filing cabinets. After a moment, he produces a file, which he hands to Larry. "Here you go!"
* * * * *
Willy is momentarily conflicted about going with this fellow. While Hungry Pete isn't the worst sort, he's still trying to tell Willy what to do. And he can't have that.
"Willy doesn't need a big bad grown up tell me what to do!"
"Yeah, you tell 'em Willy! Billy's the only friend you'll ever need. But he has secrets! Billy likes secrets!" the voice of reason within him then replies to the statement, interrupting something totally unimportant Hungry Pete had to say in response.
"Really? Fiiine, but this is gonna be your early birthday present!" Willy complies. After all, even if Hungry Pete doesn't have his best interests in mind, Willy's ready. He has at least three razor sharp shivs placed in various strategic places on his patient's clothes, plus two others that he hasn't been keeping such good track of, but he's pretty sure he's got somewhere on him. So he finally starts to follow the irritable fellow, who leads him to an alley. Once they stop, Hungry Pete takes a deep breath, then exhales slowly.
"Child, it is very important that you take what I will give you seriously! The power flows through me, and soon it will flow through you as well - you know the truth, and the truth will set you free. Take this. Read it. Understand it!"
Hungry Pete produces something that looks like a booklet, with the words "Sweet Temperance" violently crossed out on its cover.
"Open it, let the truth sink in!"
Post by: Xantalos on November 30, 2013, 03:44:32 am
Post by: Cheesecake on November 30, 2013, 04:20:57 am
"Read it! Read it!"
Follow the voice. Read it.
Post by: Errol on November 30, 2013, 05:53:54 am
"Hey, give me that. I'm pretty sure I can make the most sense of it." If all else fails, just boss the boys around.
Thoroughly examine the file.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 30, 2013, 08:36:06 am
Post by: Toaster on November 30, 2013, 02:07:37 pm
Post by: Errol on November 30, 2013, 02:33:10 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 30, 2013, 04:09:35 pm
"Hey! Lookie, lookie Billy! A Christmas Card!"
"Read it! Read it!"
He snatches the booklet and opens it up. It's definitely a marked improvement over the original. For one, all the text and imagery has been forcefully covered in half-scrawls, half-scratches that resemble a slightly obsessive child's attempt to cross out a mistake, albeit on a much grander scale. Willy's eyes wander over the wonderful additions to the booklet - there's one on every page, and each one looks a little different from the last. Every new page offers a new adventure, if one has sufficiently low standards for that sort of thing, which Willy, having been locked inside an asylum for the longest time now. They're very funny pictures! So very squiggly. And there's something odd about them he can't quite place, a distinct feeling there's something he's-
"You don't see it? Look closer! CLOSER!" Hungry Pete says, becoming agitated. Before Willy can properly react, he moves toward him.
[Opposed body rolls: Hungry Pete vs. Willy: 2 vs. 6]
Luckily, Willy's a quick sort, jumping back as Hungry Pete grabs at him. Pete, perhaps regaining a little bit of his senses, steps back.
"Put the diagrams closer to your eyes! Then you'll see! Don't dawdle! Many things hang in the balance!"
How impatient of the fellow, really.
* * * * *
Elizabeth, snapping out of a headphone-induced trance state, quickly steps into Herbert's office, whereupon she spies a file in Larry's hands. Being somewhat of an expert at reading inane documents written in confusing language some time ago, she goes for it immediately.
"Hey, give me that. I'm pretty sure I can make the most sense of it," she says, snatching the thing out of Larry's hands, much to the surprise of Herbert, who may have suspected ol' Liz might not have been all there, you know. She opens the file, finding that it contains some information on 17 Import Avenue. Seems like there's been twelve or so different owners in the last five years - she isn't really sure why, but that probably shouldn't matter. What does matter is that the current owner seems to be a lady named Roseanne Walters, and she got the place through this very agency. There's even some handy contact information in the file.
"So... how are you going to get this worked out for us?"
Elizabeth, not sure she's being addressed, but definitely in need to clear up some of those pent-up words within her, replies.
"I don't know if you remember - I certainly told you all - but I'm studying Ancient History at our local college. Every day I try to make sense of barely legible gibberish written in foreign, long-dead languages. Legalese, or simple adresses - written in plain english - should be easy enough, really. Also I really don't trust either of you not to get this thing even more dirty than it is right now..."
"And... uh... I guess I'll do what you guys tell me to. I don't have a choice, do I? It's that or potato hell."
Meanwhile, within the bathroom, Halesey flails in a most expressive manner, seeking a sink amidst all the pain and burning that his world has become. He finds in a moment that Herbert did not lie - the sink is indeed to the right of the entrance. Halesey opens the tap, then commences the rinsing of his eyes. It takes five minutes for the emission of shampoo from his tear ducts to stop, and then several minutes more for the burning to mostly subside. When the process is done, Halesey looks up from the sink, the relative cleanliness of which he can only now appreciate with his regained sight, and gazes into the mirror. This is probably the reddest his eyes have ever been. He wasn't even aware he had that many blood vessels there.
Anyhow, it's time to take the process from the top.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->1]
As Halesey makes a fateful snap after a short dance routine with the aim of altering the very nature of the skies, he gets the feeling something's gone horribly wrong. This impression is then confirmed as he feels the bathroom become even more damp than usual, and Halesey suddenly realizes he is in some sort of shadow. Looking up, he sees a cloud right above him, exactly the right size to rain on him and nobody else, like something out of a cartoon.
The cloud then begins to pour shampoo on him in a manner Halesey would expect from a bathroom product-themed rainforest, giving him a good faceful (and, naturally, an eyeful as well) of the stuff. It's not until you've had a brief, wonderful reprieve from relentless eye pain that you truly begin to appreciate its true horror.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 30, 2013, 05:08:28 pm
Find a table or something to hide over until the shampoo storm passes - probably not worth rinsing my eyes until then. If it passes, rinse eyes. Again.
Post by: Cheesecake on November 30, 2013, 06:25:25 pm
Put the diagrams close to my eyes.
Post by: Toaster on November 30, 2013, 10:54:04 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on December 01, 2013, 04:08:01 am
"Your powers are probably not developed enough to fight off the feds just yet, man..."
Post by: Errol on December 01, 2013, 08:12:15 am
"Well, I have a novel idea. How about we talk to this Lady Roseanne Walters? Chances are she's been in a very similar position only six months along. Perhaps we can even achieve a peaceful coexistence! And if she sics the hounds on me - yes, me, I've seen your negoitation prowess and I've found it... lacking... then you can still come in potatoes and snot blazing."
Elizabeth sighed. Why hadn't she heard of that reporter for a long time... she was a voice of reason, especially when compared to the very trigger-happy beacons of sanity that had managed to shampoo the entire area as soon as she had let them off the hook. Keeping the two within the bounds of civilization had been very... taxing, so far, and she hadn't exactly succeeded at it either, in fact...
Perhaps she, too, was slipping. No. No no. This absolutely was not happening, and she was going to make sure that this affair was to be treated with actual honest-to-goodness diplomacy. She was sure she could talk this over and all issues were going to vanish. Yes.
"Well, I'm making the call now."
Dial the number, attempt to set up a meeting. With cake and tea and sweets.
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 01, 2013, 08:42:00 am
Larry is the first to make a suggestion.
"Okay, so we go kill her, right?" he asks, causing Herbert to pale visibly. Halesey, not quite sure if that's the best course of action, intervenes before the bugger gets too carried away with the idea.
"Dude, we can't just go round killing everyone we want... Your powers are probably not developed enough to fight off the feds just yet, man..."
Before Larry can successfully argue back, Elizabeth takes charge.
"Ownership of that thing has changed a lot, huh? Told you, we're definitely not the first and we won't be the last. Hell, that shrimp in the factory probably had friends and they're not going to be very pleased to meet us. This is a silly place we're riding ourselves into. Well, I have a novel idea. How about we talk to this Lady Roseanne Walters? Chances are she's been in a very similar position only six months along. Perhaps we can even achieve a peaceful coexistence! And if she sics the hounds on me - yes, me, I've seen your negotiation prowess and I've found it... lacking... then you can still come in potatoes and snot blazing," she says, sighing. "Well, I'm making the call now."
She takes out her phone and dials Ms. Walters' number. She needs to only wait a few moments before someone picks up.
"Yes?" goes a soft female voice. "Who is this?"
"Ah, Ms. Walters, I presume?"
"Yes, that's me."
"I represent a certain group of businessmen looking into one of your properties, a certain factory. I was hoping we could speak in person."
"Well, I'm not so sure I have the-"
"There will be cake, tea and sweets."
"Oh! Hm. I'll see what I can do, then. Where do you propose to meet?"
* * * * *
Willy shakes his head at Hungry Pete.
"Uh, uh, uh! You mustn't be impatient! I should know - I was the doctors' number one patient! Haha!"
"Whatever! Look quickly! Ignorance burns at the soul, and it cannot be allowed to do so any longer!"
Willy then does as Hungry Pete directed, nearing his eyes to the "diagrams". As they fill his field of vision, Willy begins to feel a bit funky.
[Willy's mind roll: 3+1]
The diagrams swim out at him, filling his eyes, burning themselves into his vision and leaving white spots where they once were. Strangely, though, it doesn't hurt at all, unlike staring at the sun. As Willy's vision disappears, it is replaced with something different, a universe of ultraviolet tones that he can't quite observe. He can hear them, though - they sound like clinking and twinkling pieces of glass, like snow falling. And in the middle of all the sounds, Willy senses something. Something like a fish. Instinctively, he grabs at it, catching it in his diminutive hands, and the fish resists for but a moment before exploding with a loud bang, its entrails covering Willy's brain with a fresh coat of knowledge. However, as the bits slowly peel off him, Willy is faced with a choice - what does he allow to drift off, what does he keep?
Spoiler: Willy's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Post by: Tomcost on December 01, 2013, 08:45:35 am
Post by: lawastooshort on December 01, 2013, 08:46:29 am
Cast a Bolt of Indestructible Beans at the tabletop above me whilst waiting for the rain to pass.
Spoiler: Halesey the Fiendish Potato Mage (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on December 01, 2013, 08:03:33 pm
Let diplomacy happen.
Post by: Cheesecake on December 02, 2013, 08:30:03 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 04, 2013, 01:46:33 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on December 04, 2013, 04:34:24 pm
Post by: Toaster on December 04, 2013, 04:36:18 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 05, 2013, 02:30:08 pm
"How about a fancy tea and cake shop? I could even offer you a fancy hat to go with that."
"Oh, that would be wonderful! How about the one on Raymond Street? The one with the giant cupcake sign?"
"Yes, that works."
"Great, I will head there right away. No time to waste! Meet me there soon!"
The woman hangs up. Elizabeth is then so overcome with joy she feels the need to get off a spell.
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 3+1]
She points at a nearby wall, whereupon a small hole opens up in it, causing frozen napkins to pour out in somewhat large quantities.
"Oh dear... not to impose, but is that... necessary? These magics make me a bit nervous..."
Halesey, not to be outdone, tries to unleash a bolt of indestructible beans.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5]
He points to a nearby wall, causing a clump of beans to erupt out of his hand and hit the wall, busting right through it and leaving a large hole.
"Um... uh... well, really... um..." Herbert stammers, rapidly losing his composure and beginning to tremble as he looks upon the rain-plagued Halesey.
"Anyway, we're meeting the lady over at the fancy tea and cake shop on Raymond Street. The one with the big cupcake sign on it."
"Sounds... nice, yes."
* * * * *
Willy quickly chooses the Blessing of Happy Tuberculosis from his list of new powers, and just then he returns to the world of the superficially normal, Hungry Pete looking at him excitedly.
"You went there, didn't you? Heaven? You saw it, right? You did!"
He looks more than a little fanatical there.
Post by: lawastooshort on December 05, 2013, 02:47:39 pm
Accompany Elizabeth to the rendezvous! Try and loiter outside non-suspiciously whilst she negotiates - possibly on a bench. Actually no, there could be dinosaurs still about outside, so loiter outside, but head into the nearest indoors next to the fancy tea and cake shop if danger approaches. It'd better not, because I have potatoes.
Post by: Toaster on December 05, 2013, 03:06:16 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 07, 2013, 03:12:03 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on December 07, 2013, 03:35:55 pm
But then there'd also be that distant possibility that she'd totally flip out in the end, frustrated, hating this daft old tea and cake lover for her stubborn idiocy getting in the way of Elizabeth's potential ascension to a magical world free of mucus covered hair and imbeciles, where her nice and earnest righteousness would be corrupted into a horrifying lovelydictator.
Post by: Errol on December 07, 2013, 03:52:35 pm
First part is pretty on point. I wanted to propose some sort of sharing, and honestly I'm pretty sure the previous owner went through this sort of situation before and is a mage as well, so the thing she hopes for is a reasonable counterpart who wants to scuffle around as little as she does. Next important thing, check whether we can share the leyline like this. Should be possible.
And her immediate action is obviously acquiring cake, tea and sweets. And a good private place to negoitate in. Possibly her own apartment? That might be risky, but what other cozy, acquirable yet private places are there? Her own place probably. Just because this shows her trust in this negoitation. Who'd want to blow her own apartment up, after all?
And roll the spell dice once more for good measure. Perhaps we gonna get lucky?
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 07, 2013, 04:26:06 pm
Elizabeth, who is the only representative of the second group, and rightly so - wouldn't want to unduly spook Ms. Walters - heads into the fancy cake and tea shop with the giant cupcake sign and looks for her first priority at the moment - fancy cakes, tea and sweets. Luckily, all of these can be had for the low, low price of 10 dollars for a whole lunch's worth of desserts. When that's done, she looks around for Ms. Walters, who appears to be a portly, short-haired and jolly-looking woman currently enjoying a slice of cake in a nearby booth - Elizabeth assumes it's her, considering that she's the only one in here on this rather terrible Saturday. She shuffles over to the woman and speaks.
"Hello. Would you by any chance be Ms. Walters?"
The woman looks up from her cake, giving Elizabeth a good look at her whipped cream-stained teeth as she smiles widely at her.
"Why, yes! You're the woman I spoke to, I presume? Pleased to meet you. Now, you seemed eager to speak to me about something. This does not happen often, so I am understandably curious as to what it might be."
"Yes, well... perhaps we could speak about this elsewhere? I have an apartment not too far away, maybe we could hash this out there?"
Ms. Walters takes a great spoonful of cake and quickly scarfs it down before answering.
"That's awfully forward of you, Ms.-erm... hm. That's one thing, I don't even know your name yet. And this place is so wonderful, too. There's cake and tea, and the sweets are rather nice as well. Speaking of, may I sample some of yours? Those little brown candies look scrumptious, but I haven't ordered them before. What're they like?"
Some distant, emergent part of Elizabeth's brain has little patience for conversations like these. It just wants to do magic right here, right now. Make a napkin portal right there on the ceiling. However, a part of her brain more well-versed on human etiquette is strong enough to stop the urge... for now. The question is, can it last?
Post by: lawastooshort on December 07, 2013, 05:35:20 pm
Post by: Cheesecake on December 07, 2013, 05:56:51 pm
Post by: Toaster on December 07, 2013, 07:43:33 pm
Professionally loiter.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on December 08, 2013, 12:31:48 pm
1. I was following the quite obvious evidence as to where the weirdness was coming from.
2. Dave D. Davidson
3. gold
4. Finder of things.
5. Mystery, reason, chaos, and sugar.
6. Not knowing things
7. Harry Dresden
Body: 0
Finesse: 0
Mind: 6
Affinity: 0
Post by: lawastooshort on December 08, 2013, 02:38:32 pm
Loiter professionally. Cast a bit of Rain of Shampoo whilst I wait. Observe.
Spoiler: Halesey the Fiendish Potato Mage (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on December 08, 2013, 10:09:59 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on December 11, 2013, 02:47:29 am
Post by: lawastooshort on December 11, 2013, 07:02:00 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 11, 2013, 08:01:09 am
Post by: lawastooshort on December 11, 2013, 09:07:25 am
Post by: Nunzillor on December 11, 2013, 04:14:40 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on December 11, 2013, 04:42:50 pm
edit: forgot to make it clear: that's a +1 to wanton violence
Post by: Toaster on December 11, 2013, 04:59:52 pm
Unleash the golem beam! ... only if negotiations break down. Let peace try first.
Post by: Tomcost on December 11, 2013, 05:11:00 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on December 11, 2013, 06:57:04 pm
Post by: Tomcost on December 11, 2013, 07:50:25 pm
I think that it's related to the nature of RTD players too. The main difference bewtween the RTD section and the forum games section seems to be the level of planification and/or seriousness))
Post by: Toaster on December 11, 2013, 10:20:58 pm
Post by: Errol on December 12, 2013, 03:38:15 am
SHOVE OUT THE OTHERS. I DID NOT GIVE YOU THE CUE YET. GO. IF YOU'RE BORED THEN TAKE THIS CAKE.
"Er. Now, where were we again? I tend to space out a lot these days... must be the stress... hahaha."
Continue negoitationing and bring up the topic of shared use. We don't want to buy or acquire that property or anything, just use it... peacefully... in coexistence... yesyesyes... and as a payment we can try and keep unwelcome persons out, for starters. As you just have seen, we are pretty good at that.
((Well, I don't know about you, but I find Elizabeth as the struggling voice of reason far more interesting. And I'm tendencially a loonie masquerading as a roleplayer - I always go for what's most interesting to me at the point. If Harry basically has to toss out half the turn, I apologize...))
Post by: Nunzillor on December 12, 2013, 03:41:45 am
But yeah, I agree that Elizabeth is an interesting contrast. Even if I tried to make her commit a felony or two.
Post by: lawastooshort on December 12, 2013, 04:34:14 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 12, 2013, 07:27:04 am
[Willy's affinity roll: 5]
His hand begins to glow brightly with a pink light, and there is a barely audible sound of jolly, jaunty singing that fills the air around it. Looking at his hand, Willy observes that the glow intensifies for a good half minute or so, then plateaus, resulting in a glow a bit brighter than your average lightbulb. For some reason, it looks both comforting and somehow wrong at the same time.
"There it is! The power of God! Yes! You are enlightened!"
* * * * *
After a long moment spent spacing out as usual, Elizabeth suddenly snaps back to her senses as the whisper telling her to summon a vortex of racist beavers on the roof of somebody's mouth grows loud enough to be downright impolite and distracting. What's happening to her?
"Er. Now, where were we again? I tend to space out a lot these days... must be the stress... hahaha."
She turns to look outside, observing Halesey and Larry.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5]
As she looks, the rain outside becomes thicker all of a sudden, and she notices it foam up ever so slightly as it hits the ground. Um... that's probably not good for the environment... erm...
"-and that I'd really like it if you would just hand me a little piece of it, if it's not too much trouble," goes Roseanne's voice, which Elizabeth had tuned out in favor of looking at the cataclysm outside, causing her to return to business again.
"Um... what?"
"Well, I was talking about those little brown-"
"Weren't we talking about property?"
"No, not to my knowledge, but-"
"I'd like to get us on track now, so let's talk about property instead. About this old factory, 17 Import Avenue."
Ms. Walters partakes of another spoonful of cake, then smiles at Elizabeth.
"Ah, that place! Yes. You're interested in it? If so, I'm afraid it's not really for sale or anything. I do have plans for it."
"Oh no, we're not looking to buy it or acquire it or anything... really, what I've got in mind would be better described as... shared use."
"Hm? Please explain."
"Well, we'd keep the hobos and squatters, and other unwelcome people out in return for you allowing us to use the premises."
"They have been a bit of a problem, yes. The whole neighborhood is a bit criminal that way, I'm afraid. No respect for other people's property there and all that. Why, I could tell you-"
Elizabeth's attention is once again taken away from the conversation as she spots Larry trying something.
[Larry's affinity roll: 2+1]
As he jumps from one foot to another and hollers (luckily, this is inaudible inside the cake shop - Elizabeth can only shudder as she imagines the sounds that horrible face is making right now), a small creature composed of compressed trousers flies out of his palm, flying for three meters before falling in a newly-formed shampoo puddle. Something tells her she should get a move on before the neighborhood is caught in a massive potato hole or whatever. She turns to Ms. Walters, who is busy both eating and delivering what must have been an interesting tale.
"-and the foreman wouldn't even tell me what happened - in fact, I never saw him in person again. Heard he withdrew from society or something, and was driven to drink. Simply horrible."
Yeah, better make this fast.
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Cheesecake on December 12, 2013, 07:35:45 am
"Kill him! KILL HIM"
"No that would be mean. I'll do it later."
Follow Pete around for a while, and try to remember why they call him Hungry Pete.
Spoiler: Willy (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on December 12, 2013, 07:39:02 am
Post by: Toaster on December 12, 2013, 08:18:49 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 14, 2013, 05:45:04 pm
Post by: Toaster on December 14, 2013, 09:42:05 pm
Uh... I don't know. Will have to think on this one.
Post by: lawastooshort on December 15, 2013, 03:41:22 am
Post by: Toaster on December 15, 2013, 01:25:25 pm
Concentrate on more magic. Hold fire for now.
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 18, 2013, 09:41:36 am
"Very well... let us set out! We need to spread the word of God to this forsaken city! To the church, post-haste!" he yells out, running off while Willy does his best to keep up. As he runs, he ponders why they call Hungry Pete that. Probably because he was hungry at some point, you know. Or maybe because he ate people! That would be real cool. Willy always thought he kinda looked like a cannibal. Well, either that or a multiple rapist - he's not sure what a multiple rapist does, but the ones he's seen on TV do look like Pete quite a lot...
Soon enough, the two have reached a nearby church - a modern affair, to be sure, not very holy-looking at all, but it does have a crude fish drawing on it, so Willy guesses it must be holy to some degree. Or at least a fish market.
"Follow me! We shall show them power, yes!"
* * * * *
Outside the fancy cake and tea shop of Raymond St., Halesey and Larry both wait. Nobody seems to be coming out just yet, but Halesey is determined to not start trouble until it inevitably appears that he absolutely needs to do so. Larry is of a similar opinion now that his previous attempt has failed, though he chooses to still prepare a great helping of magical readiness in any event. He goes still as a statue, his mind focusing on the task ahead, and for a moment there is nothing else in the world apart from himself, his magic and the entrance to the cake shop.
Thus it is not surprising that he almost conjures a whole avalanche of snot when suddenly Elizabeth and Ms. Walters both exit the store, looking rather friendly with each other.
"-it is quite an interesting thing you propose, and I find myself too intrigued to not accept. You have my word that you will not be interfered with at the site as long as the squatters stay evicted. You also have my permission to commence restoration and reconstruction of the place," the woman says to Elizabeth, wiping her cheek with a handkerchief.
"Yes, that definitely works for me," Elizabeth agrees.
"If you have any questions about the place or maybe something interesting to report, feel free to give me a call. This project of yours seems fascinating. Maybe it could revitalize the whole neighborhood, even."
"Oh, I'm sure it will. In any case, either I or my associates will reach you in the event that it is needed."
"Yes. Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have meetings to attend to."
"As do I. Goodbye, Ms. Walters."
"Goodbye, Ms. Blanc."
The two then part ways, with Roseanne heading down the street to her car while Elizabeth cautiously approaches Halesey, who is covered in rather nice-smelling hair products, and Larry, who looks like he could stare a hole into reality right now.
"It's done. We have permission to use the place however we need as long as we remove the squatters."
That seems to have gone well, almost disappointingly so.
Post by: Toaster on December 18, 2013, 09:52:04 am
Head back to the building, all the while focusing up my magical power!
Post by: Cheesecake on December 18, 2013, 08:46:59 pm
"Yeah! Knock 'em dead!"
Knock 'em dead.
Post by: lawastooshort on December 19, 2013, 01:22:34 am
Return to the factory and stroll in apologetically.
"I... I didn't want it to come to this..."
Cast upon myself the shield of imbecilic desks!
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 20, 2013, 04:24:55 pm
"So did you mind control her or what?" he asks, unaware of, yet interested in any trickery that may have taken place. Midway through the question, however, he realizes what's truly important right now - not like Elizabeth was going to tell him what she did, anyway. "Whatever, let's go kick some squatter ass."
Halesey, though silent, evidently concurs. The two righteous magical dudes move down the street - Halesey in a grim, purposeful manner, Larry resembling a Chinese vampire, hopping about stiffly, every muscle tense and ready to unleash horrible, horrible magic on everybody in sight. Soon enough, they have both reached the factory, with Elizabeth presumably following not too far behind. They step right through the door, coming up to the crackling campfire the six squatters still have going over there. Halesey does his best to seem apologetic.
"I... I didn't want it to come to this..."
The Jesus-looking dude, who appears to have been asleep until woken up by the sound of his good buddy's voice, yawns and looks at him.
"Huh? What?"
"He said he didn't want it to come to this," the burned guy says in a monotone. "Who let him in here, anyway? These guys are bad news, I'm telling you. Look at him. Even got a cloud over his head."
"Naw, naw, that guy's cool. He fixed the door! That cloud is pretty weird, though."
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3]
A small clown-themed (with red knobs on the drawers, even) desk materializes next to Halesey, beginning an unsteady orbit around the fledgling mage.
"Whoa, man. Am I seeing this right?"
"That's pretty freaking weird if you ask me," the unusually clean woman says, though she realizes that obviously nobody asked her, and promptly sighs, shuffling slowly away from both the rather threatening and stiff-looking Larry and the obviously magical Halesey.
* * * * *
Knowing this is his first chance to really show people what he's made of, Willy follows Pete inside, running through a large, rather empty room, then a corridor decked out in funny pictures, stopping at a room that seems to be full of people - were he not seeing it right now, Willy would never have guessed that the room would have fit 9 people - and that's along with a pretty creepy-looking shrine taking up a whole lot of space as well. He wonders how these people haven't caught on fire yet with all the candles burning here. Then again, if they had done this previously, Willy wouldn't have seen it happen, so if you think about it that way, it's probably good that they've stayed roughly coordinated until this point.
"Father Peter! I thought you had left us for good!" a woman in her fifties, very thin and with distinctly horselike facial features, says to the man.
"Ah! You were wrong, obviously! I have indeed returned, and I come bearing knowledge, gifts and power! Oh yes! Show them the hand, Willy!"
Oh dear. Quite the dilemma Billy faces here - what would be the best way to humorously and malevolently interpret such a simple and vague instruction?
Post by: lawastooshort on December 21, 2013, 03:13:55 am
Post by: Cheesecake on December 22, 2013, 12:40:16 am
"Thinking what I'm thinking Willy?"
"You bet!"
Give them all tuberculosis.
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 23, 2013, 01:54:15 pm
For a moment, Willy expects a long cough, but such a thing regrettably does not manifest. Instead, the woman just smiles earnestly and truly, her eyes shining at the boy who appears to have blessed her.
"My god... everything seems so... so beautiful now..." she says, her voice faint and reverent, trailing off into a mumble.
The others are visibly impressed by this - Willy, though, not so much. Either this tuberculosis doesn't immediately take effect or the 'blessing' part of the spell somehow affects the end result. Maybe he needs new spells. This one seems a little non-murderous... right now, anyway.
"Do you see what we have found? It is glorious!" Hungry Pete shouts, looking triumphant. "The secrets of creation have opened up before us!"
The others don't seem to have quite decided if this is something to feel righteously pleased or terribly confused about yet, it seems.
Post by: Toaster on December 23, 2013, 02:13:45 pm
Larry mutters to Halesey. "What, no violence? Fine, fine."
He raises his voice to the group. "Okay, people, the people who own this building are about to fix it up and make it run again. Get outta here or we get the cops, okay?"
Bullshit.
Post by: lawastooshort on December 23, 2013, 03:49:19 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on December 29, 2013, 05:03:56 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 29, 2013, 05:28:46 am
I don't want to be annoying, but I'm going to have to go ahead and *poke* this.
I am going to update soon, but definitely not today.
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 31, 2013, 03:49:26 pm
"What, no violence? Fine, fine," he says to Halesey quietly.
He then turns to the group of squatters, who look creeped-out.
"Okay, people, the people who own this building are about to fix it up and make it run again. Get outta here or we get the cops, okay?"
"They aren't gonna come for hours. We've got time to split before that. But I got a feeling they'd be more interested in you lot, what with the weird cloud above that guy's head. They've been investigating weird things happening lately," the burned man explains matter-of-factly.
"Yeah... sorry, jesus-dude. I didn't come in here thinking we was gonna have to force you out or anything, I was just told to have a look around... perhaps we could get them to take two of you on as security guards? Or, acolytes or something? Isn't that what you call security guards over here?"
"But what about the rest of us? You can't just turn 'em out into the streets. I mean, Guitar Bill's got crippling arthritis and whatnot. He wouldn't survive the winter, man."
The man with the guitar looks up at the Jesus-dude, then at Halesey. He looks really sad. Disarmingly so, one might say. The others don't seem all that pleased, either.
"And Aggie doesn't even speak English, and she's, like, 80 or something, dude," the squatter continues, pointing at an old, toothless woman huddling up with Guitar Bill.
"You people do seem related to the whole business going on up top. What was going on up there?"
"I know Toby went up and locked the place up behind him, but that's it. You see him? I was real worried 'bout the guy. He was kinda weird, ya know?"
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on December 31, 2013, 04:05:21 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on January 03, 2014, 03:28:02 pm
Under his breath, to himself, Halesey muttered something a little more direct.
I've tried to control it dude... don't make me... don't make me unleash the hell...
Escort the folks up to the scene of Toby's demise. Cast Musical Garbage Blast away from the observers to demonstrate the terrible power of this weird shit.
Spoiler: Halesey the Fiendish Potato Mage (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on January 03, 2014, 04:44:38 pm
Follow along. Mucus anyone that gives us grief.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on January 03, 2014, 04:46:44 pm
Post by: Toaster on January 03, 2014, 04:47:38 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 03, 2014, 05:17:37 pm
"Toby? He... he might have been the dude that attacked us. Look, I'll do my best to explain. You know those weird things going on? Me and Larry are investigating them too. That's kinda how I ended up with a bloody cloud stuck over me head. Seriously - it's some kind of curse. And this place - well, this place has some kind of power - that's what Toby must've been after. It turned him mad, man, and he attacked me and Larry with some seriously weird shit - you go and have a look up there and you'll see, dude. It's totally busted up. So either you gotta go, so that we can save you from turning mad as well, or you gotta agree to do as we say, and I'll protect you as best as I can. You see, cos I mighta gotten cursed with a fecking rain cloud, but I haven't gone mad. I can protect you, man. But if you stay here, you're gonna go as mad as Toby. Come with me and see the mess he left before... before going. And if you don't believe that I can protect you, or that this weird shit is for real, check this out. Oh, also, what Larry said is totally true - they folks that own this place want to fix it up. I really need to discern their motives, because if they get control of this accursed place and have evil desires, they could do some serious shit."
Larry, supposing Halesey's said all that needs saying, can't help but support the man's words.
"Yeah, uh, listen to that man. He knows what's up."
"Dang. You dudes sound serious about that. I'll follow ya, sure."
"As will I."
"And I'll go with you as well - perhaps there I can find the answer."
With the three squatters in tow, they head up to the fourth floor, where Halesey shows them the destruction that has happened - the door, which has been blasted open, the ruined walls, the remnants of mop golem habitation, the traffic lights freaking everywhere, all kinds of things.
"Whoa. That does look pretty crazy," the messianic man says.
"I do know this floor - I've seen it before. In, like, my dreams. Toby was this black dude, right?"
"Yeah. Well, last I saw him, anyway."
Before they can chatter on for too long, Halesey lifts up his hand and makes a sweeping motion to get the people's attention. He then points at an unimportant-looking wall.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5]
A great mass of garbage shoots out of his palm, impacting the wall at great speed, causing an incredibly harmonic burst of sound as tin cans, old refrigerator parts and other things scatter along the room. When the dust settles, the wall has a large hole in it.
"Holy crap, man! That was, like, I dunno, magic! How'd you do that? Is it tied up with the weird stuff here?"
"It is! It's magic! And this place is, like, some kind of nexus!"
"... I think I should be leaving. I ain't lived this long by being inquisitive about this kinda thing. So... goodbye," the burned man quickly says, then runs down the steps. The Jesus-dude looks at him, then back at Halesey.
"So... magic? How does it work?"
"Yeah. How did you find out about it? Did you have visions as well?"
Post by: lawastooshort on January 03, 2014, 05:27:46 pm
So what do you say? If you... kinda help us out as security guards for us, keeping anyone out that wants to mess with our investigations - and remember, we're trying to control this power so more folks like Toby don't get driven insane by power and obsession - we will both protect you, and share our power. Once we've worked out how... You won't have to be homeless ever again."
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 03, 2014, 05:33:20 pm
"I... I was visited by a fat dude. Well, no, the other way round, in fact. For all I know that might've been a vision, yes. I haven't worked out how to share the power yet, but if you want to be our followers, I will share what I know as soon as I work out how. It was magic, yes. It... it kinda works on an internal feeling, and if you're weak minded like Toby musta been, it can totally destroy you. See, I tried to master the power too quick at first, and that's why I got this cloud over me, man. A literal fecking cloud. A few times it went wrong and... and I just woke up naked. Totally naked, no memory of what happened. Like an anti-vision. A black hole of vision. But nakeder. But I've also had real visions, dudes. Of power so immense it freaks me out even to see it in a vision. And that's what drove Toby mad. You see all these traffic lights? The power drove him mad, and he got obsessed, and wanted to fill the whole fecking world with traffic lights to be his slaves, or worse.
So what do you say? If you... kinda help us out as security guards for us, keeping anyone out that wants to mess with our investigations - and remember, we're trying to control this power so more folks like Toby don't get driven insane by power and obsession - we will both protect you, and share our power. Once we've worked out how... You won't have to be homeless ever again."
"Uh... sounds... good, I guess? I'll have to, talk with Bo, make sure he takes the others to someplace else and all... I'll be right back..."
The Jesus-dude runs off after the burned man.
"Oh, and I'm not actually, like, homeless or anything. I'm just here because I've been having visions. In case you can't, like, tell and all. So... if I agree, what do we do then?"
Suddenly, the fat guy pokes his head out of the leyline room.
"The hell was that noise? Halesey? That you? What's with the cloud? And who's the girl?"
Post by: lawastooshort on January 03, 2014, 05:39:13 pm
Ah. Arch-Magus. This girl - what was your name? - and her comrade have agreed to act as... how would you say. Security guards. Keeping the other squatters away using non-suspicious non-magical means, but also keeping up a respectable squatted-factory kinda disguise, if you see how I mean. It's the ideal non-violent solution.
How goes your investigation into the leyline? Can you harness its power?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 03, 2014, 05:51:55 pm
"Hell, you've been having visions too? Like, real visions? Any... you know, doom and stuff? Really, I think the only thing you'll have to do is keep any new squatters from getting in or staying around. Just so that we - and hopefully soon enough you - can continue with our investigations into the power, you know...
"Not really, like, prophetic visions, more like being... called, you know? I felt there was, like, something here and I really needed it, you know? Those kind of visions. And I guess I could try to keep other people away, but... what about, like, magic? Can I get any?"
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, girlie."
Ah. Arch-Magus. This girl - what was your name? - and her comrade have agreed to act as... how would you say. Security guards. Keeping the other squatters away using non-suspicious non-magical means, but also keeping up a respectable squatted-factory kinda disguise, if you see how I mean. It's the ideal non-violent solution.
"Oh. That's cool, I guess. Did you get the property rights or whatever?"
"And my name is Jo, by the way. What's your name, uh... Arch-Magus?"
"Morb-no, wait. Just call me Arch-Magus. Yeah. That'll work."
How goes your investigation into the leyline? Can you harness its power?"[/color]
"Sure. Yeah. But you kinda need to reconfigure the building's layout a bit. Like, construction work and whatnot. We're gonna need cash is what I'm saying. And maybe more minions. There's only three of you, one of which is mostly absent. I think I'm gonna go out and get more people. I get the feeling we'll need them."
"Uh... what about me?"
"I mean wizard-people. Not regular people."
"Can't I be a wizard?"
"Depends. You okay with that, Halesey?"
Post by: Cheesecake on January 03, 2014, 07:15:22 pm
"Pete, this magic isn't very, you know, magical! I want something better!"
Find more magic!
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 03, 2014, 07:25:48 pm
"Pete, this magic isn't very, you know, magical! I want something better!"
"Yes! That is your prerogative! Harness your holy right! Cheer him on, my flock!"
The cultists begin to cheer Willy as he pulls out the pamphlet and looks at it once more. Here we go again!
[Willy's mind roll: 2+1]
The world suddenly disappears, replaced by an ocean of errant, sparkling flows of everything indefinite and undefinable. Willy is so caught up in the sudden expanse of it all, so different from the claustrophobic little cult room, that he nearly forgets to grab anything from the endless sea. In the very last moment, though, he does manage to hold on to something, and carries it the whole way back to the disappointing reality of the tiny little mini-church.
Spoiler: Willy's New Spell (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on January 03, 2014, 08:51:12 pm
Post by: Cheesecake on January 03, 2014, 09:19:12 pm
"I dunno. Try it!"
"Good idea Billy!"
Cast my new spell!
Spoiler: Willy (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on January 04, 2014, 02:29:21 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 04, 2014, 07:06:41 am
"Why are we sharing power again?"
"'Cause it's infinite, and givin' it to people is a great way to make 'em like ya. At least that's what my book tells me, anyway."
Halesey feels he has something to add as well.
"Larry, we gotta share some power to get more power, right? And yes, Arch-Magus, that is okay with me... Since me and Larry are getting pretty acomolished, perhaps Jo could be... an acolyte?"
"That's gonna be mostly a technicality, really, if I give her a book."
"A book?"
"To do magic with."
"Oh."
"I've got a spare one stashed over by the leyline, lemme go get it."
"'Kay."
The fat guy then turns around and goes deeper inside the confines of the fourth floor. Jo almost immediately breaks the silence.
"So... what's casting spells like? How does it feel? Are the spells already in the book, or do you get them later?"
* * * * *
Willy, guessing that fractal high heels may be better than a blessing of happy tuberculosis, tries his new spell on a patch of ground right next to himself.
[Willy's affinity roll: 1-->3]
He snaps his fingers at it, he glares at the patch of ground, he jumps up and down and gibbers at it, but nothing happens. Feeling cheated, Willy is about to say some choice words about this whole magic nonsense, but then he feels something happen. A tingle on his chest. He looks down and notices it shimmer, as do the others.
"What's this? Some divine manifestation?"
Before their very eyes, the shimmering area becomes a hole, starting out small but slowly becoming more of a gaping affair. Once it reaches a certain size, high-heeled shoes begin to pour out of it in considerable quantities. Rather unusual shoes, too - the heel of one shoe seems to seamlessly transition into the toe box of another, smaller shoe, and the same principle applies to this smaller shoe as well, with an endless spiral of progressively smaller footwear forming before Willy's very eyes.
"Well now, that is definitely something, I believe! Look at those shoes, ye faithful! Have you ever seen such a strange thing on earth?"
The faithful (with the exception of the long-faced woman, who is too busy obliviously smiling and occasionally coughing to notice) seem to agree that they haven't seen anything like that before.
Post by: Cheesecake on January 04, 2014, 07:16:09 am
"I know, I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, it's theirs!"
"Yeah. Stupid Pete. Stupid Church. Wait, what's this church for?"
Willy turned and tapped Hungry Pete, leaning over to whisper in his ear, "Hey, Pete. What is this place?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 04, 2014, 07:38:43 am
"Well, this isn't much better."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, it's theirs!"
"Yeah. Stupid Pete. Stupid Church. Wait, what's this church for?"
Willy turned and tapped Hungry Pete, leaning over to whisper in his ear, "Hey, Pete. What is this place?"
"This, child, is the home of the True Disciples of God and All His Angels In The Face Of The Coming Cataclysm. We seek to cleanse our destiny and prepare for the end of all things, which, if I'm not mistaken, is just around the corner!"
Post by: Cheesecake on January 04, 2014, 07:42:18 am
"Well, this isn't much better."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, it's theirs!"
"Yeah. Stupid Pete. Stupid Church. Wait, what's this church for?"
Willy turned and tapped Hungry Pete, leaning over to whisper in his ear, "Hey, Pete. What is this place?"
"This, child, is the home of the True Disciples of God and All His Angels In The Face Of The Coming Cataclysm. We seek to cleanse our destiny and prepare for the end of all things, which, if I'm not mistaken, is just around the corner!"
"They couldn't think of a shorter name?"
"So, what's the end of all things?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 04, 2014, 07:45:41 am
"So, what's the end of all things?"
"I don't know yet! The visions in my mind haven't provided a clear answer yet, but I know this - we must move our church to a new place! Prepare yourself, child, for the road will be harsh and you shall need as many blessings of God as you can get to persevere!"
Post by: Cheesecake on January 04, 2014, 07:51:02 am
"So, what's the end of all things?"
"I don't know yet! The visions in my mind haven't provided a clear answer yet, but I know this - we must move our church to a new place! Prepare yourself, child, for the road will be harsh and you shall need as many blessings of God as you can get to persevere!"
"And these blessings are a disease that takes a long time to work and a portal to infinite shoes?"
"Cut him some slack, Willy. You're both from a mental hospital."
"That was a mental hospital?"
"We've been stuck there our entire life!"
"Oh. And you tell me now? Whatever." Willy turns back to Pete. "So, where are we gonna move the church?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 04, 2014, 08:01:56 am
"And these blessings are a disease that takes a long time to work and a portal to infinite shoes?"
"Those are but the beginning! Through effort, you will find powers beyond your wildest dreams! The blessings are wide and varied, and some will be more dramatic than the others, naturally!"
"So, where are we gonna move the church?"
"There is a factory on the dilapidated side of town that interests us - it is there that we must watch the old world die and the new one begin! But first you must prepare, my son!"
You notice that there seems to be one man in the crowd of worshipers coughing loudly. He looks pretty happy, though. The guy next to him looks equally pleased.
Post by: Toaster on January 04, 2014, 11:54:48 am
"Well, IF the book finds you worthy, it will give you the magic it deems you're worthy of having. Like, an incantation to clip your toenails or something."
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 04, 2014, 12:03:52 pm
Larry snorts and gives the woman a look of disdain. Well, if he HAS to share the power...
"Well, IF the book finds you worthy, it will give you the magic it deems you're worthy of having. Like, an incantation to clip your toenails or something."
"There's an incantation to clip your toenails?"
Post by: lawastooshort on January 04, 2014, 03:17:33 pm
Post by: Cheesecake on January 04, 2014, 06:37:44 pm
"Alrighty then, let's go!""And these blessings are a disease that takes a long time to work and a portal to infinite shoes?"
"Those are but the beginning! Through effort, you will find powers beyond your wildest dreams! The blessings are wide and varied, and some will be more dramatic than the others, naturally!""So, where are we gonna move the church?"
"There is a factory on the dilapidated side of town that interests us - it is there that we must watch the old world die and the new one begin! But first you must prepare, my son!"
You notice that there seems to be one man in the crowd of worshipers coughing loudly. He looks pretty happy, though. The guy next to him looks equally pleased.
Post by: Toaster on January 06, 2014, 12:18:29 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 06, 2014, 05:36:55 am
"Er, well, I'm fairy sure there's an incantation for everything, just I guess if your brain tried to hold it all you'd go mad... I think madness is quite a risk, in the mage business. You know, Larry, I'm considering opening my mind to the book another time, but I'm worried if I lose the access to potato hell I'm just gonna go mad myself. Bearing in mind it is pretty much the ultimate power, out of any we've discovered so far, what do you think? I don't wanna trade ultimate power for... for some feckin' incantation to clip feckin' toenails, you know?"
"Wouldn't bother me if you lost it. Why don't you lock yourself in there next time you want to cast it?" says Larry, being as helpful as usual. Just as Halesey is about to make further comments, the fat guy returns, a binder in his hand. He throws it to Jo, who fumbles the catch and has to pick the binder up from the ground.
"There ya go. Acquaint yourself with the material."
"Uh... okay," Jo says, opening up the binder. She leafs through it for a few moments. "Is it supposed to... ah... hm..." she begins to say, but trails off as her eyes become wide and quite glassy all of a sudden. Ah, the joy of discovery.
* * * * *
Willy has lingered in this smelly, cramped, unsafe closet of a church for long enough - time to leave!
"Alrighty then, let's go!"
"Onward to glory!" Hungry Pete yells, beckoning the others to follow him - most do, except one who collapses, coughing blood and grinning widely at the same time. Willy guesses it would be impolite to disturb him and moves on. As the group walks through the streets, avoiding several confused dinosaurs on the way, another guy does the same thing - he also gets left behind. Willy wonders if he'd benefit from some kind of immunization.
Before he can decide to do anything, though, he finds himself in the bad side of town, outside a rather gray and blocky multi-story building, which Willy would recognize as a shining, if dilapidated example of Brutalist architecture had he ever studied such things. Instead, he recognizes it as a shining example of a place his mother told him to never, ever go to. There's holes in the walls, for Pete's sake.
"And we are here! Now, my children, let us deliberate - do we enter as brave conquerors and the vanguard of salvation, or do we approach as humble seekers of truth?"
Most of the followers present look a bit too happy and/or diseased to answer, honestly, while the others are a little too concerned about this fact to notice much of anything Hungry Pete is saying.
Post by: lawastooshort on January 06, 2014, 05:57:49 am
Re-open mind to the Book of Power. Try very hard to not lose access to potato hell.
Post by: Toaster on January 06, 2014, 09:10:32 am
Hit myself with some more magic too.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 06, 2014, 09:44:01 am
"Okay. So. I'll just do this and then we can sort out the cash for the interior decoration."
"Uh, sure. You mean like our skull thrones and shit?" Larry asks, but Halesey is already consumed by the process. Figuring there's no harm in refreshing one's spell list, he goes for a spin as well.
[Halesey's mind roll: 6-->4+1]
Halesey, meanwhile, blissfully floats through a vast mindscape, his greedy mitts clutching passing knowledge by the handful, only stopping when he is suddenly snapped back into reality, at which point he realizes he is almost bursting with power.
Spoiler: Halesey's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
[Larry's mind roll: 2+1]
Larry, however, is less lucky. He likes the knowledge, but the knowledge, regrettably, doesn't like him, it seems. It squirms out of his grasp, avoids his advances and generally behaves like an evasive jackass to him, seemingly delighted at giving him the slip time and again. Eventually, he catches a single spell, but he gets only a moment to enjoy his find, as he is immediately catapulted out of the ol' magical fishing hole.
Spoiler: Larry's New Spell (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on January 06, 2014, 10:19:04 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 06, 2014, 10:30:41 am
Post by: Toaster on January 06, 2014, 10:32:58 am
Drop the demon spell, then. Focus and prepare to take another try.
Larry nodded. "Yeah, uh, listen to that man. He knows what's up."
Follow along. Mucus anyone that gives us grief.Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on January 06, 2014, 11:32:00 am
"I... the... ngggggggg!"
Take Hairy Mafioso but procrastinate a bit as I'm not sure yet
Spoiler: Halesey the Fiendish Potato Mage (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 06, 2014, 01:00:11 pm
While he reflects on this particular failure, he notices another woman standing next to Jo. She's wearing a very nice suit, and she looks absolutely stunning, and also a little bit like what he would expect Jo's more successful big sister to be like.
"Wow. You look kinda like me."
"Well, of course. Consider my origin, for one."
"Uh... makes sense, I guess?"
"What spell was that, anyway?"
"Evoke a beautiful lawyer?"
"Quite so, yes."
Halesey, meanwhile, faces a different problem - there's this Wall of Pigeons he really wants, but hairy mafiosi are also something he could use... and most of his spells are so good already! Such a dilemma. It's starting to make his head hurt something fierce, actually.
Post by: Toaster on January 06, 2014, 01:21:20 pm
Damn head.
Unleash the reading focus! Read the SHIT out of that book.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 06, 2014, 01:22:11 pm
((Oh hey. Shouldn't I have another spell slot now since I went Mind at level up?))
You should, yes.
Post by: lawastooshort on January 06, 2014, 03:19:27 pm
Cast Wall of Pigeons!
Spoiler: Halesey the Fiendish Potato Mage (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 07, 2014, 06:13:31 am
[Larry's mind roll: 6-->1+1]
This time, he does twice as well as last time, mostly on account of grabbing at knowledge twice as fiercely! This is gladdening to say the least. It's still not as good as one might hope, but when does everything work out the way one hopes? Rarely, that's when!
Spoiler: Larry's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Halesey, faced with a tough choice, suddenly realizes his so far displayed inability to actually displace beans anywhere other than inside his own person. That makes the dilemma much easier.
"Grr... never managed to displace beans anywhere other than in me nostril... Grant me Wall of Pigeons, O Book! BEHOLD!" he shouts, suddenly throwing his arms wide open.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3]
Suddenly a dozen pigeons appear, all placed on the same vertical geometric plane as far as Halesey can tell. This lasts for a moment, as the pigeons immediately start flying around, causing Jo, the fat guy and the lawyer-Jo to duck and cover their heads until they escape from the area. Well... it kind of worked, Halesey guesses.
Post by: Toaster on January 07, 2014, 09:51:20 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 07, 2014, 10:00:24 am
((Champignon as in the mushroom?))
I would assume so, yes.
Post by: Toaster on January 07, 2014, 10:05:27 am
Anything divine had to be awesome. And sure, take the other. Screw the trolls.
Take both, dropping the troll barrier. Fire off the Divine Breath!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on January 07, 2014, 10:41:15 am
Suddenly realising what was happening, Halesey moved quick, and blocked the stream of gentleman's literature with another, hopefully more solid wall of pigeons!
Block the Breath with the Pigeons!
Post by: Toaster on January 07, 2014, 11:02:40 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 08, 2014, 02:05:43 pm
[Halesey's finesse: 5+1]
[Larry's finesse: 3]
He takes a deep, deep breath - a move that tips off Halesey that there is likely to be something nasty to stop - and tries to fire off a spell.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5+1]
[Larry's affinity roll: 1-->5+1]
However, he is so startled by the sudden appearance of a veritable fortress wall of pigeons before him that he nearly falls on his ill-prepared behind in the process, coughing with surprise. The pigeons are pretty tightly packed, he must admit. They're not even flying away.
"This is starting to get really weird, you guys."
"Yeah, use that magic to get some money, will you? I'm gonna need, like, 50 grand at least."
"Do I have to do that as well?"
"Of course! Me need money and all that."
Post by: Toaster on January 08, 2014, 02:10:53 pm
Summon hats!
Post by: lawastooshort on January 08, 2014, 03:42:51 pm
Halesey waits until the Arch-magus leaves for a second.
"You know, we could get the Arch-magus's bank details and hold the city to ransom, something devious but non-violent like that..."
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 09, 2014, 07:26:39 am
"Dammit, man, why'd you do that! Eat my hat!"
[Larry's affinity roll: 1-->2+1]
He points an accusatory finger at Halesey, but nothing happens. Well, as far as Larry can see. Halesey, on the other hand, notices a comically tiny fez appear on one side of Larry's head. It fits him, in a way.
"Ah, sorry man, I was sure you were aiming something at me. So, do we get this money the criminal way, or the non-criminal way?"
The fat guy interjects almost immediately.
"It doesn't matter to me what ya do, as long as we have money and can keep it."
"Yeah... I'd prefer not to get shot or imprisoned, myself. What's the money for, anyway?"
"It's... eh, it'll be easier to show you. Follow me," the Arch-Magus says, heading deeper inside. Jo and the lawyer-manifestation immediately follow him. As soon as they are out of earshot, Halesey has an idea.
"You know, we could get the Arch-magus's bank details and hold the city to ransom, something devious but non-violent like that..."
Larry doesn't immediately answer, though. Whether that's because he's thinking about the idea or thinking about alternative avenues of either moneymaking or vengeance, Halesey can't say.
Post by: lawastooshort on January 09, 2014, 07:29:26 am
Post by: Cheesecake on January 09, 2014, 08:38:13 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 09, 2014, 08:52:33 am
"Any way is fine with me, as long as Billy can make some noise!"
"Son, it gladdens my heart to see such great enthusiasm from you! Lead the way into the promised land, I shall follow right behind you!"
Post by: Toaster on January 09, 2014, 11:46:56 am
Tag along.
Post by: Cheesecake on January 09, 2014, 04:53:32 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 09, 2014, 05:48:48 pm
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->3]
He waves his hands in a whimsical way, and suddenly a rather sizable number of pale, large men in brightly-colored tracksuits, their thick, dark hair forming veritable manes on their heads. They all stand in a neat line, their arms crossed and the expressions on their faces not entirely friendly. That worked pretty much as expected, Halesey guesses. He goes forth after the Arch-Magus, but then realizes a crucial detail, as does the closely-following Larry - these fellows are in the way. Just as he begins to wonder what problems this may pose, though, one of the guys steps aside, opening a way through the wall of mooks.
"Go right in, boss. Your friend can come, too," he says in a very Slavic accent.
Halesey guesses that's okay, and both of the men head deeper into the building, the ranks of the mafiosi closing behind them, heading over to the leyline, where they find the fat guy and the lawyer-Jo looking at normal-Jo, who appears to be twitching wildly as she looks in the direction of the leyline, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. This is a little disturbing, but it lasts only a few seconds, at which point Jo becomes completely normal - tranquil, even.
"Wow."
"Feels good, huh?"
"Yeah."
"So this 'leyline' helps you become more magical?"
"Yep. But to get it working better, we need specific constructions - I've had designs flashing in my mind all the time, and I've drawn up plans, too. Consulted a civil engineer buddy o' mine, he said they looked okay. Bizarre, but not unsound. Wanna see the plans?"
"Depends. Are they easy to read?"
"In a word, no. But they look real good."
"Maybe later when she conjures me again."
* * * * *
Willy needs not be told twice to lead a charge into the promised land - he runs forward, and Hungry Pete charges after him. They run at the nearest door they can find, only to be surprised when a burned man walks out of it, looking creeped-out.
"Great. More lunatics. Have fun in there."
He then runs right past the group, not giving them a second glance. Oh well. At least he left the door open. The two people (as well as their sickly sweet followers, all looking very happy now and lagging noticeably behind) head inside, only to find three others deeper within - a man who looks like an Asian Jesus and two old-looking people. The Jesus-impersonator seems to be explaining something to the two old people.
"-and I gotta take you guys somewhere. It just ain't safe here anymore. Now come on, get up. Please. It's for your good - there's stuff happening here that's so crazy, even I don't know what the heck's up with all of it."
Post by: Toaster on January 09, 2014, 06:31:05 pm
Post by: Cheesecake on January 10, 2014, 05:38:55 am
"Tuberculosis?"
"Sure, that's a great idea!"
Tuberculosis.
After that, Willy asks who they are and why they're so old.
"What're you doin' here? And why are you old?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 10, 2014, 06:08:34 am
[Willy's affinity roll: 1-->6]
The pink glow appears on his hand, but then flashes suddenly and fades away. Darn! Willy, not patient enough to try again immediately, asks the sordid old people and their Jesus friend a question.
"What're you doin' here? And why are you old?"
The old guy turns to him, lips pursed and looking positively ancient. Without saying anything, he turns back to his friend. The old lady doesn't even do that much, mumbling something in some sort of eldritch beast language and doing nothing else. Jesus is more responsive.
"Whoa, guys. What're you doing here? This place ain't safe. There's crazy things happening up above."
Oh really?
Post by: lawastooshort on January 10, 2014, 06:09:31 am
This last to the mafiosi.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 10, 2014, 06:15:02 am
"You know, that's a pretty good idea. How much did you say we need, Arch-magus? Fifty grand? Hey, guys, any of you got any good schemes for getting a hundred k quick? Half goes to you to split amongst yourselves, okay? As long as it's nothing the cops could trace back to me..."
This last to the mafiosi.
One of the mafiosi immediately replies.
"We are not connected, boss. Also, we will disappear in minute or so. We are here to prevent all kinds of peace-dukes from crossing a point in space. We can do nothing else. It is psychological thing. If you conjure hairy mafioso or evoke hairy mafioso, or call upon hairy mafioso, or maybe even commune with hairy mafioso, maybe get better results."
Post by: lawastooshort on January 10, 2014, 10:35:56 am
Bust out a Wall of Pigeons to help me reflect on an actual plan, in that case.
Spoiler: Halesey the Fiendish Potato Mage (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on January 10, 2014, 01:12:32 pm
Larry scoffs. "See? Magic fixes everything- you just need the right spell." He slams his head into the book. "Oi! Book! What's a good money-making spell?"
Ask the book directly.
Post by: lawastooshort on January 10, 2014, 04:56:18 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 10, 2014, 06:15:09 pm
"You're welcome."
Having been failed by the oddly sensible and self-aware mafiosi, Halesey tries to bust out a wall of pigeons. Pigeons inspire him.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3]
However, only a handful of pigeons appears. That is a few handfuls of pigeons short of what Halesey needs right now. And this is depressing. Fortunately, before Halesey can reflect on this gaping pigeonless void in his soul, Larry intervenes with stellar wisdom.
"See? Magic fixes everything - you just need the right spell."
He then opens up his book and thrusts his face into its pages, communing with his own book-entity.
"Oi! Book! What's a good money-making spell?"
He doesn't need to wait long for an answer. As expected, it is loud.
~OOH! SUMMON HATS! SUMMON HATS, YES! AND ALSO BREATH OF DIVINE GENTLEMEN'S LITERATURE! YOU MAY THINK IT AN UNLIKELY COINCIDENCE THAT BOTH OF THESE ARE SPELLS IN YOUR CURRENT POSSESSION, BUT I CALL IT FATE! YOU MAY IN TURN SAY THOSE TWO ARE REALLY ONE AND THE SAME WHEN YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT, BUT I WOULD THEN REPLY WITH A 'PISH-POSH' SO HEARTY AND FILLED WITH UNDISGUISED SCORN THAT YOU WOULD HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CRAWL INTO THE GROUND AND DISAPPEAR OUT OF SHAME! LET'S NOT LET IT COME TO THAT, YES?~
While Larry stands in place, book and face seemingly joined together like Siamese twin BFFs, Halesey repays Larry's earlier bit of wisdom with a valuable comment of his own.
"Why don't we head down the flea market or something with your hat collectionifier? Wonder how may hats you'd have to sell to make a hundred thousand..."
Post by: Pancaek on January 10, 2014, 06:27:04 pm
Spoiler: John reporting for duty (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 10, 2014, 06:31:56 pm
Post by: Gamerlord on January 10, 2014, 06:34:01 pm
Post by: Cheesecake on January 10, 2014, 07:26:48 pm
"Whoa, guys. What're you doing here? This place ain't safe. There's crazy things happening up above."
"I'm leading a church to survive whatever's going on. What about you?"
"We still don't know why they're old, Willy. Better be careful!"
Willy gave a mental nod. "What kind of things are happening?"
Post by: Toaster on January 10, 2014, 09:09:24 pm
Summon some damn divine literature! If anyone interferes, Mucus them.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 11, 2014, 05:41:03 am
"I'm leading a church to survive whatever's going on. What about you?"
"We still don't know why they're old, Willy. Better be careful!"
Willy gave a mental nod. "What kind of things are happening?"
"Uh, well... I'm not sure. But it's something, like, totally weird. I think it's, like, related to the dinosaurs raining from the skies and whatnot."
"Ah, yes! My son, you live in the end times, don't you know. Are you prepared?"
"What? End times? The heck you talking about?"
"Oh, you will know it when you see it!"
Post by: Cheesecake on January 11, 2014, 05:49:28 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 11, 2014, 06:01:59 am
"I love dinosaurs! I like the T-Rex the most! Have you seen Jurassic Park?"
"Uh... no. No, I haven't."
"I have, but only in my dreams."
Post by: Cheesecake on January 11, 2014, 06:03:40 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 11, 2014, 06:06:33 am
"Oh...loser. So, who are you? And what are you doing here?"
"I'm, uh, Paul."
"I'm Father Peter! Now we just need a Mary in here, eh?"
"I kind of lived here... not so sure now. I guess I'm guarding this place?"
Post by: Cheesecake on January 11, 2014, 07:49:19 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 11, 2014, 07:50:47 am
((Wait I'm confused. Is the speech in red the Jesus imposter or the old man?))
Red is Hungry Pete, brown is Paul the Jesus Dude.
Post by: scapheap on January 11, 2014, 11:28:53 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 13, 2014, 02:54:25 pm
"Screw your plan. The book says I should summon lots of hats. And divine literature. I want summa that literature, dammit."
[Larry's affinity roll: 2+1]
He clears his throat, and then it happens. He feels something suddenly appear in his throat and shoot outward - he opens his mouth reflexively, and he sees a magazine of some kind fly out, the whole process feeling like a cough. It flies through the air a moment, then lands on the ground. From his vantage point, he can see a few things about the piece of gentlemen's literature. For one, it seems to have a picture of a topless woman on the cover, an eight-pointed star emblazoned atop the image. And above that, there seems to be a title - 'Behind Heaven's Doors #4'. It's odd, though - Larry can instinctively feel there is more to the cover, something can't see from here.
Post by: Toaster on January 13, 2014, 03:12:50 pm
Peruse magazine lustily.
Post by: lawastooshort on January 14, 2014, 07:49:09 am
Summon hairy mafioso barrier. Try to request that said barrier protects the magazine from people other than Larry or me.
Spoiler: Halesey the Fiendish Potato Mage (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 14, 2014, 01:04:31 pm
"Hmm. Just one? Please inform of us of your findings, dude," Halesey says, mildly disappointed. He tries to summon a barrier of hairy mafiosi once again.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5]
As per the will of their master, a line of hairy mafiosi materialize around Larry in a protective cordon, looking very watchful and not distracted by the gentlemen's literature at all. Better guards you couldn't get even if you looked.
Larry, meanwhile, is quite excited by his findings. Namely, the fact that the woman on the cover is prominently featured in the magazine itself in the middle of various scenes - half-naked atop some sort of temple Larry doesn't recognize, completely naked in front of what appears to be a court of shades and demons, almost naked while committing acts of grisly violence on various groups of people, and many variations in between those themes. The woman seems supernaturally, bewitchingly beautiful to Larry, and it's all he can do to not just gawk at her continuously and obliviously. Seriously, he's seen pretty girls and beautiful women in his life, though not usually up close or in person, but this is something else entirely. Leagues beyond what he thought possible, really. What he's looking at is perfection itself. Judging from the various captions along the way - captions that appear to be written in an alien language at first, but become readable within a few moments - the woman is apparently named Inanna. And boy, are there a lot of images of her here. There's a way greater picture density in this mag than Larry would expect, to be honest. And the centerfold of the goddess is absolutely exquisite - something Larry would be unashamed to post on a wall, really.
He is interrupted in his appreciation when he flips a certain page - the fifty-sixth altogether. Judging by the text, it seems to feature somebody else - Tiamat, the text indicates. As for the goddess featured... erm... well, she has a tail, a thigh, lower parts which shake together, a belly, an udder, ribs, a neck, a head, a skull, eyes, nostrils, a mouth, and lips. She also has insides (or possibly entrails, Larry isn't sure), a heart, arteries and blood. And... that's all he can really say about her. Now he feels all confused and unsettled and whatnot. He flips forward, realizing there's no fewer than 22 pages of Tiamat here. Good gods. He decides to skip all that, and get to the next feature, which seems to be of the rather dark realm he previously spotted in Inanna's section. This focuses on a much grimmer, less strikingly beautiful woman who seems to be named Ereshkigal. She is altogether less naked in pretty much all of her pictures, and yet there seems to be something about her that piques Larry's interest. The look in her eyes, he thinks. It seems quite compelling. Almost as though she's actually looking at him, in fact. Before it gets too creepy, Larry shuts the magazine. He thinks he's seen enough.
All in all, this magazine seems to contain a great deal of material - much of it superb, some of it extremely creepy. And all of it highly fascinating in its own way.
* * * * *
Mr. Lee's Pawn Shop is, in a way, the center of the Lower Esplanade. For one, it's quite a landmark of a building - one of the oldest buildings currently in the city at a whopping 427 years old, and holding up rather nicely despite its great age. It's also a very popular hangout for the non-affluent and unsavory residents of the Lower Esplanade, which is to say most of the ones actually walking out in the street. But most of all, it's an establishment run by Mr. Lee, who is by all accounts a man you should listen to, or so common wisdom goes. He's been getting on in the years, and nobody really remembers what it was that made him so famed in the neighborhood, aside from the rather old, who don't seem willing to say. Regardless, he seems to have projected a reasonable aura of respectability in the neighborhood, even if nobody knows why exactly one should respect a man in his fifties who hardly leaves his store or home anymore.
He's so averse to leaving, in fact, that very few people who don't frequent his store have actually seen him for the past couple of years. Within the ever-broadening category of people who have never seen the guy are Mr. John T. Deschutter, Mr. Samuel Bornhast and Ms. Clair Malk. Evidently, though, he knows who they are, though, as they are greeted by a strangely identical sight when they each exit their respective homes in different parts of the Lower Esplanade this strange Saturday evening - a tall, dangerous-looking black man dressed in fairly nondescript street clothes looking straight at them. Before any of them can say anything, the men give a message.
"Hey, Mr. Lee wants to see you. Follow me."
Post by: Gamerlord on January 14, 2014, 01:50:32 pm
Follow.
Post by: Pancaek on January 14, 2014, 01:52:57 pm
Post by: Toaster on January 14, 2014, 01:53:19 pm
He realizes he's being stared at.
"Heavy shit, man. Just check this out!"
He shows Halesey the most demonstrative page from each section. "It just goes on, man. I'm sure someone would pay good money for this!"
Go hit up pawn shops and see who'd pay good money for said magazine. Maybe old book shops too.
Post by: lawastooshort on January 14, 2014, 02:58:04 pm
Request the mafiosi to divert their attentions to protecting me instead of just the magazine, and follow Larry to his pawn book shop.
Post by: scapheap on January 14, 2014, 06:15:51 pm
Follow
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 14, 2014, 07:34:48 pm
"Well, looks like we're a bit early. Guess we better wait, huh?"
The wait isn't long - just a few minutes or so - before Samuel also appears with his new friend. The two guides greet each other.
"We could work on the timing, huh? Would have been cool if we all arrived simultaneously."
"Yeah, I guess. But that'd require, like, crazy coordination and planning."
As they converse, both Samuel and John notice that they seem to be awfully similar in looks - nigh-identical physically, actually. Just wearing different clothes. As Clair arrives, they notice that she also seems to have been taken here by another guy almost exactly like the other two.
"Damn, I'm late!"
"Somebody's gotta be, I guess."
"Yeah, let's go inside. Come on, you three."
The three identical guys beckon their three respective friends to come in - seeing no reason not to follow through, they all do so, coming inside the pawn shop. It's an unusual-looking pawn shop, to be sure. For one, there's no guns that anyone can see, far from what one would expect in the Lower Esplanade. Only musical instruments, some sporting equipment, a whole lot of polished-looking CRT TVs and stereos, home appliances, telescopes, all kinds of jewelry... really, it's pretty cramped in here. But above all one cannot help but notice the pawnbroker presiding over the store.
The man, presumably Mr. Lee, is a friendly black man in his early fifties with graying, receding hair and a colorful knitted sweater, underneath which he appears to wear a dress shirt. Not the most fashionably dressed individual. His features are distinctly kindly, and he smiles at his new visitors.
"Hey there, youngsters! What can old Lee do for you?" he asks in a soft voice, cracking up a little at the end. "Nah, don't tell me. I know what I can do for you! First, let me give you a belated welcome to our friendly little neighborhood. Now, you didn't come see me once in your time here, which, strictly speaking, isn't a good way to treat your neighbors, but that's okay. I know you're good kids, all three of you. That's why I've got all three of you something special in store. Can you guess what it is? I'll give you a hint - it's related to that dinosaur thing that's been on TV and whatnot!"
Mr. Lee grins widely, looking genuinely happy. The triplets - for that's what they seem to be - also look to be in fairly good humor.
* * * * *
Larry, quite sure that was the most intense piece of gentlemen's literature he's read, shows some choice bits to Halesey.
"Heavy shit, man. Just check this out! It just goes on, man. I'm sure someone would pay good money for this!"
Halesey, upon being shown the heavenly and not so heavenly pictures, is moved but a little bit. Presumably because of limited exposure.
"Er... okay. That's a good idea. We might have to wait until the mafiosi here let someone else touch it I guess. Let's go."
After ordering the mafiosi to form a protective cordon around himself, which they happily accomplish, Halesey follows the quickly escaping Larry. He is a bit slowed down on the stairs on account of the numerous mafiosi accompanying him, but reaches the first floor eventually. He is about to start running after Larry, but then notices that there seem to be new arrivals in the factory - an excitable little kid and a crazy-looking dude currently accosting the Jesus-dude, Guitar Bill and Aggie. This may or may not be good.
Post by: Toaster on January 14, 2014, 08:21:57 pm
Post by: Gamerlord on January 15, 2014, 12:54:19 am
Post by: scapheap on January 15, 2014, 02:58:51 am
(what is she talking about? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinosaur_King)
Post by: Gamerlord on January 15, 2014, 03:00:45 am
Clair got into a thinking pose "So you got a machine that turns dino cards into actual dinosaurs and we fight a evil team known as the Alpha Gang?"((Something tells me this is going to end... interestingly.))
(what is she talking about? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinosaur_King)))
Post by: lawastooshort on January 15, 2014, 06:37:59 am
"You heard the dude. Dangerous construction work going on here."
Post by: Cheesecake on January 15, 2014, 06:58:35 am
Post by: Pancaek on January 15, 2014, 07:41:02 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 15, 2014, 10:14:38 am
"Oi! How many more people are coming? Factory's closed, go home."
The barrier of mafiosi also parts as Halesey offers support.
"You heard the dude. Dangerous construction work going on here."
The crazy guy and kid don't appear to have noticed them, though. Willy just continues his current conversation as though nothing had happened.
"So what do we do in here? Wait for the end to, you know, end?"
"Far from it! We must locate the special place here, the place where the finger of God himself touches the fabric of our world! It is somewhere... higher, I believe."
Paul doesn't seem to be very happy at this news.
"Oh no. You guys want what's upstairs? Aw jeez. That's no good," he says, taking a step back.
"But it IS good! Salvation is within our reach! Try to sense it, Willy - can you feel the holiness here? Can you see the finger of God reaching out of the aether?"
Yeah, these people are probably crazy.
* * * * *
Asked to guess what they shall receive may be, the people in Mr. Lee's pawn shop try to provide educated guesses.
"I have a feeling I'm going to feel both gratitude and hatred towards you for this," Samuel says.
"Don't be silly, Sammy - I'm guessing you're Sammy. What I'm going to give you is something you never knew you needed, but it's going to become integral to your life from here on in."
"So you got a machine that turns dino cards into actual dinosaurs and we fight a evil team known as the Alpha Gang?" Clair asks.
"That's closer than you might think, Clair! Not exactly it, but equally wondrous."
John also has his own clue on what this might be.
"What, that news article where the dinosaurs were falling from the sky? So that means....you got us a baby T-rex to raise?"
Mr. Lee laughs heartily at the suggestion.
"No, no. You may be good kids, but you're not qualified for anything like that. Not yet. Raising a baby Tyrannosaurus rex - that's a serious commitment, you know. Not something anyone can do, and though with perseverance you might be able to give the little thing all the love it deserves, you three are not yet the age when such responsibility comes naturally to you all. Maybe when you're older. Now, if you'll excuse me for a moment..." he rifles under his counter, retrieving what appear to be three rather new-looking tomes - well, maybe "tomes" is a little generous. More like thick magazines, although they lack any sort of indication on the cover what they might be. Mr. Lee extends all three toward his guests.
"Here! These are my gifts to you three. Open them up and take a look."
Post by: Gamerlord on January 15, 2014, 10:16:23 am
Mr Lee's memory issues aside, the book/magazine things looked interesting.
Take. Read. Know. Conquer.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 15, 2014, 10:23:08 am
"The name is Samuel, not Sammy."
"Oh, that's just me being chummy with you, kiddo. Don't take it too personally! We're all friends here. Or at least we will be!"
Post by: scapheap on January 15, 2014, 11:52:58 am
Reading time
Post by: Pancaek on January 15, 2014, 12:12:42 pm
Read magazine intently
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 15, 2014, 01:47:01 pm
All three of them immediately find that the pages appear to be filled with the graphical equivalent of white noise, everything mashed together, producing a great mass of incomprehensible multicolored gibberish on every page.
[Samuel's mind roll: 4-1]
Samuel, as the first to begin reading, is also the first to notice something. The drawings appear to be... reaching out to him. Before he can act on this new piece of knowledge, the magazine goes right for his eyes, filling his field of vision with nothing but the abhorrent disharmony of the magazine's pages. He tries to shake himself free of the vision, but it seems rooted in his brain, drilling through his skull and violating his internal cranial structure in a way he finds highly displeasing. He twists and turns, trying to shield his head with his hands, but the feeling of something going through his think-parts subsides only gradually, seemingly not caring at all about what Samuel does to try and prevent it. And when it leaves altogether, Samuel finds that it has left something behind - a kernel of strange knowledge. As Samuel appraises the situation - he seems to now once again be in Mr. Lee's store - a certain word combination burns in his mind, begging acceptance. Along with that, it seems like some sort of shrill voice is pestering him.
Spoiler: Samuel's New Spell (click to show/hide)
[Clair's mind roll: 2+1]
Clair, despite ostensibly looking at pretty much the same material, seems to have an altogether different experience - instead of the drawings leaping out at her, she seems to be pulled in, becoming very small all of a sudden in a vast, alien universe. Bits of thought float past her idly as she flies suspended, unmoving, reflexively having curled up in a ball, shielding the back of her head with her hands. After nothing happens for a few seconds, she opens her eyes.
Huh. Seems pretty colorful here, actually. Chaotic and infinite, yes, but also quite interesting. Relaxing a moment, Clair begins to freely float, an invisible force carrying her through this new world. She spends a moment taking in the sights - they are relaxing in the same way white noise can be relaxing, flushing out all conventional visual and mental information. Having spent a good minute like this, Clair suddenly notices a small light slowly flying toward her. Or, to be exact, flying in a straight line she just happens to intersect. As it is about to pass her by, she feels like she should grab it, and does so. The light dissolves, nesting in her mind, taking a certain shape that Clair, with some interpretation, can begin to understand within moments as she finds herself back in the pawn shop.
Spoiler: Clair's New Spell (click to show/hide)
[John's mind roll: 1-->1]
John needs only to glance at a page, and it is clear what he's seeing! Adventure! Adventure in his eyes, adventure in his mind, adventure leaking out of his ear holes. More adventure than he can possibly imagine. But first he needs to find out what's actually in this manuscript. It appears to start off with some elementary 3D eye-crossing images, so John just plays along and crosses his eyes, looking at the image dead-on to see what's up.
What he sees... oh god... it's everything! All mysteries, all knowledge, everything he's wanted to know in his life, right there before him! His jaw drops. It's so simple. All that is true and right and wonderful can be found out and achieved with as much difficulty as one has snapping their fingers, it's just a few secrets he needs to know! He could utilize this information and achieve everything he's ever hoped for! Or even better, he could write a self-help book from all this and make zillions! Or both! While John ponders which one to do first, he hears a voice.
~What's goi-oh, shit. Shit on a goddamn stick. You're... not supposed to see this.~
There is a flash of light, and everything goes completely dark. The people in the pawn shop notice John suddenly collapse. Or coil up, rather. His fall doesn't really take him anywhere, he just collapses elegantly, almost soundlessly and certainly harmlessly on the spot, resembling a coiled-up spring, causing not even the tiniest bit of a mess. When he wakes up seconds later, he wonders what just happened. Why is he in a pawn shop? And why is this voice talking inside his head?
Spoiler: John's New Spells (click to show/hide)
As the three newly bemagicked individuals react variously to their magazines, Mr. Lee nods his head appreciatively.
"Looks like it's taking nicely! Welcome to the world of magic, eh?"
"I still don't understand why you won't give any of us the books."
"You kidding? Mrs. Lee'd kill me!"
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on January 15, 2014, 03:19:25 pm
Spoiler: John T. Deschutter (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 15, 2014, 03:30:24 pm
"Oh hello, again, I think. Does this always happen when you read this...thing?"
"I see lots of pretty colors when I do it, but I've never fallen over or anything. You feel okay?"
Post by: Pancaek on January 15, 2014, 03:33:14 pm
"Yeah, I feel well enough. The voice is telling me I had some sort of memory lapse...the voice is normal...right?""Oh hello, again, I think. Does this always happen when you read this...thing?"
"I see lots of pretty colors when I do it, but I've never fallen over or anything. You feel okay?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 15, 2014, 03:45:06 pm
"Yeah, I feel well enough. The voice is telling me I had some sort of memory lapse...the voice is normal...right?"
"Strangely enough, yes! We've all got our very own voice. I think it's the book, myself, but Mrs. Lee disagrees. She says it's not the book at all."
Post by: scapheap on January 15, 2014, 06:32:24 pm
Spoiler: Clair Malk (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on January 15, 2014, 06:41:55 pm
"I see, that's reassuring. I'm going to try one of these out, if that's okay with you.""Yeah, I feel well enough. The voice is telling me I had some sort of memory lapse...the voice is normal...right?"
"Strangely enough, yes! We've all got our very own voice. I think it's the book, myself, but Mrs. Lee disagrees. She says it's not the book at all."
If no objection fromm Mr. Lee, get to a spot where I can't break anything, cast conjure dusty rouge
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Gamerlord on January 16, 2014, 12:48:03 am
Cast Rain of Sweaty Ducks.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 16, 2014, 04:34:19 am
[Clair's affinity roll: 5+1]
With an effort of will, the vase poofs out of existence, appearing in her hands immediately and without fail. The delay between disappearance and reappearance has got to be in the milliseconds, if not less. Cool.
"And there it is! Magic! Isn't it the most wonderful thing?" he says. Then he turns to John, who seems to be asking permission to do something similar.
"I'm going to try one of these out, if that's okay with you."
"It's not some kind of vortex or portal, is it? Those can get a bit too messy."
John shakes his head.
"Well, go ahead!"
[John's affinity roll: 3]
As John focuses upon the spell, something materializes in his hand - a small quantity of pinkish-red powder, it seems. It looks pretty harmless, but it smells like an attic. And though John has been rather pale lately, he's not sure cosmetics are what he needs right now. Particularly not the kind that's, like, 50% common dust. He could roll inside an abandoned basement instead, for instance.
Samuel, spying that magic is afoot already and not one to be left in the dust by others, casts the most dramatic spell of all!
[Samuel's affinity roll: 3]
Nothing seems to happen, though. At least, not inside the store.
As the magic happens, Mr. Lee is evidently very pleased.
"You kids make me proud. Look at the way you're doing already. Hang on a second, I've got something else prepared as well - be right back."
He quickly steps through a nearby open door, and can then be heard ascending a set of stairs and opening a door. The people in the pawn shop can hear both his voice and that of a woman in the next minute or so, and then Mr. Lee returns, a plate in one hand and a bowl in the other. The plate is filled with tortilla chips while the bowl contains something more unusual - some sort of thick substance that looks very much like what you see when you look at a puddle of water that's got a film of oil over it on a sunny day. It doesn't look entirely natural.
"Now, kids, I'd like you to try this dip - it's Mrs. Lee's specialty. I know it looks strange, but trust me - this is the best dip you'll ever have, I guarantee it. Try it, then look at the book again. I was going to bring it out later, but I think now's an even better time."
Post by: lawastooshort on January 16, 2014, 04:53:07 am
”Let me handle this,” he says, turning to Larry. ”We don’t need to… take special action just yet. I speak both street and young person speak, although they are sometimes tinged with a little of my native dialect.”
He turns to the person that he has no way of knowing is called Willy.
”Yo. Sup, bludstar? Yam aright?” he says, grimacing wildly. ”What youm doim round ere our kid? Dangerous in there, ay it? Know’m sayin? It’d be right bostin if yow just fecked off back ome to yer mom and pops. Wim just concerned for yer safety, ay it? I bay gooin' ter tell yow agen, aiight?”
He turns to Larry. ”I have asked the young man if he is having a pleasant day, and asked him his business. I have then proceeded to inform him that this location is not safe, and that a preferable course of action for him would be to return home to his parents. I have then added that I say this out of concern for his wellbeing, but that I shouldn’t like to have to repeat myself.”
Post by: scapheap on January 16, 2014, 05:36:15 am
Take a chip and dip
Post by: Gamerlord on January 16, 2014, 05:48:17 am
Post by: Pancaek on January 16, 2014, 07:43:45 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 16, 2014, 11:33:31 am
"Well, nothing venture..." she begins, taking a single chip and dipping it. John following suit after disposing of his rouge and Samuel ambiguously reaching for something to eat, deciding midway that perhaps now is not the best time to be inventive and taking a chip and dipping it as well. After Samuel eats his and doesn't explode or anything, and Samuel also appears unharmed, Clair eats the chip in her hand. The chips are pretty good, and one might venture a guess that they are homemade. The dip... well...
First off, it kind of tastes like sour cream, except with a very distinct additional taste of everything. Each wizard-in-training's eyes widen as they begin to experience the dip, definitely the most interesting olfactory sensation they've had this month, maybe even the whole year.
Secondly, as the sensation fills their minds, the three notice that the room appears to be different somehow. None of them can really put a finger on it, though Samuel thinks he can hear a cockroach on the floor here somewhere.
John's first reaction to the developing situation is, naturally, to open up his magazine and take a look.
[John's mind roll: 2+1]
Whoa. The magazine's magic eye pictures are, like, moving now. Really moving. John places a finger on one of the images, poking it to make it stop, but he just finds himself drawn into the realm of the magazine, which is a pretty trippy sensation, he must say. There's this huge white void before him, and there are these singing spheres flying around. John, knowing of the secrets that singing spheres can hold, or at least familiar with the idea that they really should hold some, grabs hold of one, cuddling it and holding it up to his head. The songs of the sphere fill his head, coalescing into an idea that John can't seem to forget as he returns to the normal world.
Spoiler: John's New Spell (click to show/hide)
As John snaps out of his bout of spell research, Mr. Lee looks at him.
"John over there has got the right idea - look into your magazines again. Interesting things ought to happen! Feel free to have some more, too, just don't overdo it!"
It's strange, Samuel thinks. Mr. Lee looks shorter now somehow. And it also seems like he's hiding something under his hat.
Post by: Gamerlord on January 16, 2014, 11:36:24 am
Post by: Toaster on January 16, 2014, 11:59:40 am
Larry eyeballs Halesey. "Good thing you told me, because I thought you were talking alien for a second."
Give the newcomer the stinkeye.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 17, 2014, 08:03:45 am
Post by: scapheap on January 17, 2014, 10:29:34 am
Post by: Pancaek on January 17, 2014, 11:31:38 am
"we're getting somewhere...slowly but surely"
eat another chip with dip, but take a small portion , read magazine once more.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 17, 2014, 04:51:16 pm
[Samuel's mind roll: 3-1+1]
Samuel isn't terribly lucky on that front, though. There's the same drilling sensation in his head, the same shrill voice and the same feeling of diminished self-worth as he realizes that what he's got is but another kernel when he could be harvesting great gobs of massively excellent magic. It feels a bit nicer when he's stoned, though, he'll give it that. The drill feels less blunt, at least.
Spoiler: Samuel's New Spell (click to show/hide)
[Clair's mind roll: 2+1+1]
Clair, when she opens up the mag, has a much more pleasant experience. The alien place, the spell place - it loves her, she can tell. And she... sorta likes it, she guesses? It's very chill there, that's for sure. With the dip, she's having a good trip here. She even gets two lights rather than just one this time around, which makes her feel accomplished, relatively happy and also quite appreciated by the powers that be, whatever those might be.
Spoiler: Clair's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
John, now definitely the most experienced magician in the room, takes another chip, dips it and samples it. The effect of the dip intensifies - John can now see both colors and smells! Mr. Lee looks pretty dang fragrant, John must say. But that doesn't matter right now. What matters is more magic.
[John's mind roll: 4+1]
The dip helps a lot, clearly - he can feel the singing spheres better, and smell and see their song as well as hear it. Very valuable properties in a hunter - they help predict the spheres' paths, and let him get three spheres altogether! This is totally rad is what he would be trying to say here if he did not realize that, like a merciful fisherman, he must let at least some of these spells go.
Spoiler: John's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
As the stoned mages get their business going, Mr. Lee pipes up again.
"Now, not to interrupt you kids while you're magicking and whatnot, but, when you're ready and willing, maybe we could talk about something you all could do with these newfound powers of yours? I wouldn't like to turn you loose without a little guidance, you know. It'd be irresponsible."
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: scapheap on January 17, 2014, 05:12:56 pm
Spoiler: Clair Malk (click to show/hide)
Post by: Gamerlord on January 17, 2014, 06:09:26 pm
Sweet, huh? With spells like these, soon you will be the awesomest wizard around! Believe it!((Oh god the voice in my head is Naruto. Someone hand me a trepanning drill please.))
GORGE ON DIP AND KNOWLEDGE.
Spoiler: Samuel Bornhast (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 18, 2014, 11:17:29 am
"If we must. So, what your idea, Mr lee
"Well, there's these other kids - good kids like you, but a little headstrong, you know? They got their books and ran, and now their mothers are worried sick. I want to ask for your help in convincing them to come back - like I said, they're good kids. Be a shame to lose them. And I feel bad for their families, who got left behind. Can you help?"
Post by: Pancaek on January 18, 2014, 11:39:10 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 18, 2014, 11:42:32 am
((Quick question, can I only take one of these three spells, OR could I , for example, take all of them and discard three of the ones I already know?))
You can only take one, sorry. You get more leeway if you get a 5+1 or a 6.
Post by: Pancaek on January 18, 2014, 11:44:02 am
((Allrighty then))((Quick question, can I only take one of these three spells, OR could I , for example, take all of them and discard three of the ones I already know?))
You can only take one, sorry. You get more leeway if you get a 5+1 or a 6.
"What, exactly, do you mean with 'lose them'?"
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 18, 2014, 11:50:34 am
"What, exactly, do you mean with 'lose them'?"
"You know, they'll run off, get in with bad crowds and go mad with power, that kind of thing. I don't know where they got their books from, but whoever it was that gave it to them, definitely didn't have their best interests in mind. I was hoping to steer them on the right path, but they just wouldn't listen to me. Maybe you kids'll have better luck."
Post by: Pancaek on January 18, 2014, 11:57:53 am
"ah, yes, we better stop them before they do something bad. Whatever that might be. What can we expect anyway? Because it seems to me that the destructive capabilites of these spells vary a lot.""What, exactly, do you mean with 'lose them'?"
"You know, they'll run off, get in with bad crowds and go mad with power, that kind of thing. I don't know where they got their books from, but whoever it was that gave it to them, definitely didn't have their best interests in mind. I was hoping to steer them on the right path, but they just wouldn't listen to me. Maybe you kids'll have better luck."
Read book one more time. Then follow group
Post by: lawastooshort on January 19, 2014, 05:31:41 am
I have no idea? I think we would probably leave him to chat with our Fake Jesus so me and Toaster can get on with the business of becoming magnates of the gentleman's literature industry. He seems a bit lost in a world of his own, and not quite yet aware of the power of vegetable based vortexes.))
Post by: Cheesecake on January 19, 2014, 08:00:11 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 19, 2014, 08:18:31 am
"Let me handle this," he says, turning to Larry. "We don’t need to… take special action just yet. I speak both street and young person speak, although they are sometimes tinged with a little of my native dialect."
He turns to Willy and begins.
"Yo. Sup, bludstar? Yam aright? What youm doim round ere our kid? Dangerous in there, ay it? Know’m sayin? It’d be right bostin if yow just fecked off back ome to yer mom and pops. Wim just concerned for yer safety, ay it? I bay gooin' ter tell yow agen, aiight?" he explains, then turns back to Larry to provide a translation.
"I have asked the young man if he is having a pleasant day, and asked him his business. I have then proceeded to inform him that this location is not safe, and that a preferable course of action for him would be to return home to his parents. I have then added that I say this out of concern for his wellbeing, but that I shouldn’t like to have to repeat myself."
"Good thing you told me, because I thought you were talking alien for a second," Larry replies, eyeballing Halesey with what one wouldn't describe as a great deal of trust. After devoting his gaze to Halesey for a moment, though, he realizes that his energy is perhaps best spent on other activities. Like giving the newcomers a very similar, yet somehow more hostile look that is commonly dubbed the stinkeye. So he does that instead.
Regrettably, neither Halesey's verbal stylings nor Larry's nonverbal hostility seem to have had an effect - in fact, the two newcomers don't seem to have noticed either.
"Let's go get that finger, then," the child simply states.
"Yes! Let us proceed!" the crazed-looking man replies, and takes the child by the arm, running right past Halesey and Larry as if they weren't even there, disappearing into the stairwell. This is rather distressing.
What is even more distressing is that there seem to be coughing, zombie-like smiling people also invading the factory. Like, seven of them from the looks of it. They aren't too fast, seems like, but they nonetheless seem somewhat unsavory, what with their goofy grins and relaxed expressions combined with what sounds like the cough of a lifetime.
"Aw, heck. Why does today have to be so wrong in every way?" the Jesus-dude says while slowly backing away from the weird people.
Post by: scapheap on January 19, 2014, 09:33:56 am
Post by: Toaster on January 20, 2014, 11:02:16 am
Golem Beam at the zombie-like people! Tell the golems to guard the damn factory.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 20, 2014, 01:36:37 pm
Firstly, there's Samuel, who pays it absolutely no mind and chooses to stuff his face with chips and psychedelic dip. With each bite, he feels more and more out of it! This is good, he thinks. The little rainbow cultist on his shoulder evidently agrees, nodding along rhythmically with whatever he seems to be doing.
Wait, what is he doing? Oh, right. Looking at the magazine. Samuel opens it up, and prepares to be amazed!
[Samuel's mind roll: 5-1+2]
Samuel feels the world fade away as he stares at the pretty squiggles. One of them looks like a goat for some reason. Hm. To know for sure, he plants his mouth on the squiggle, running his tongue over the page. It sure tastes like goat, he thinks. Must be the genuine article. He traces his finger around its neck, and beckons it to come over - it does so! He gives it a hug, and it disappears. Goddammit! Why does this always happen? Samuel shakes his head vigorously. He refuses to accept this. Now, he must think about this rationally. Goats don't disappear just like that. Clearly there must be, like, a trap door here somewhere. And Samuel suspects that trail of spectral powder on the ground leads right to it. He snorts at the line, hoping to get the scent of the goat - he does catch a whiff of it, but his nose fills with powder in the meantime. Luckily, that only makes everything feel better, so he just continues on his way. Snorting the line as he follows it on all fours, he moves through the store until he comes to a wall, bumping his head lightly on the wall.
Strangely, everything begins to make sense now!
Spoiler: Samuel's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
While Samuel rolls around on the floor, Mr. Lee and the triplets watch with bemusement.
"What's happening to him?"
"Kids, what he's seeing none of us'll ever understand. That's why you use dip in moderation is all I'll say."
John, still in a state of mind where he can appreciate the moral, takes a look at his book one more time.
[John's mind roll: 5+1]
His mind is clearly growing more relaxed to the intrusion of foreign knowledge - the spheres are now rather easy to catch, and he seems to be able to retain all of them, curiously enough. Granted, it would come at the expense of his current spells, but still.
Spoiler: John's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Clair, meanwhile, has had enough of these antics. She's gonna track down this bunch of dropouts and bring them home, getting in touch with the inner rock of her soul and channeling it with her gaze. She then gives Mr. Lee a purposeful stare. It takes him a moment to notice.
"Hm? Yeah? Did you consider my offer?"
Clair nods stonily.
"Are you going to do it?"
Clair nods again.
"Great. I knew I could count on you kids. The people you're looking for are these girls called Raven Carpenter, Shauna Richmond and Luz Littleman, and another kid by the name of Trey Hooper. They're about high school age, I think. I know Trey's been in trouble before, but other than that they used to be mostly harmless, I guess. Good kids. Don't know what happened to them - if you find them, try and find out, huh? Also, they've got magic and all now, but they're still kids. Don't be too rough on them, you hear?" Mr. Lee says, making sure both John and Clair heard him. "Now, I've got good reason to suspect they might be someplace in the abandoned row bordering the factory district, judging from what the parents have told me - I don't want to send my boys there because they don't have any magic and I can't give them any, but you should be fine. I think. Maybe you should wait for the dip to wear off before you go anywhere, though. It can be disorienting, you know?"
The mission is clear. The objective is set. Now to decide the approach.
Post by: lawastooshort on January 21, 2014, 03:42:53 pm
"Ah man..."
He sees Larry shake with The Power.
"Shit..."
Halesey used to be a pretty patient dude, you know, calm, not easy to rile, that kind of thing. Easy going, ish.
"They just can't... y'know... bust in an' shit... You know, Larry, I think this book has kinda stolen my head, or something, and it's like I don't give a shit that it's stolen my head, 'cos I got a better fecking head to replace it with, you knoww'I'msaying? Like, a better fecking head, man, like, man, they got like ten fecking seconds to get the feck away from my fecking leyline before I blast their asses right into potato feckin' hell, man, shit... That's what it feels like my head, my new better feckin' head, is like, telling me to do, man... Awww."
He gets the twitch under control, shoots his hands out at the zombie fools, and produces a barrier of hairy mafiosi. He commands his hairy mafiosi to stop the zombie freaks from entering the factory.
He doesn't care how.
It's all he can do to keep potato hell up his sleeve.
Post by: scapheap on January 21, 2014, 03:51:31 pm
Spoiler: Clair Malk (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 21, 2014, 04:15:46 pm
"Will do, but first, do you have a Cabbage I could borrow?"
"I don't think I do. Mrs. Lee hates the stuff. There's a grocery store down the street, though. Should still be open - it's not even six o' clock yet."
Post by: scapheap on January 21, 2014, 06:10:40 pm
Post by: Pancaek on January 22, 2014, 10:28:54 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Gamerlord on January 22, 2014, 10:35:37 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 22, 2014, 02:47:32 pm
"Hell with this! This is our house!" he shouts, pointing at the miniature horde of invaders.
[Larry's affinity roll: 2+1]
[Larry's finesse roll: 6-->2]
[Happy TB Person 1's body roll: 6-->5]
He aligns his palm with the face of the nearest happy zombie, firing off a single alkaline trouser golem at it! It flies through the air, impacting the person's face and bouncing up into the air, landing right behind the bunch of people. The person it hit doesn't seem overly bothered, although it does seem that something is seriously broken in her face now. Oh well. Larry shouts for the golem to protect the factory. It doesn't seem to have heard him.
Halesey, meanwhile, tries to resist the power that he calls... The Power. The Power is quite the tempting thing, you see.
"Ah man... Shit..." he mumbles to himself as his eyes bobble and twitch imperceptibly. This magic happening is beginning to set him off.
"They just can't... y'know... bust in an' shit... You know, Larry, I think this book has kinda stolen my head, or something, and it's like I don't give a shit that it's stolen my head, 'cos I got a better fecking head to replace it with, you knoww'I'msaying? Like, a better fecking head, man, like, man, they got like ten fecking seconds to get the feck away from my fecking leyline before I blast their asses right into potato feckin' hell, man, shit... That's what it feels like my head, my new better feckin' head, is like, telling me to do, man... Awww."
His imperceptible twitch subsides as he shoots out his hand in the direction of the freaky zombies.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 2]
However, the mafiosi refuse to appear. Maybe... maybe this is a sign? A sign that there are... better alternatives? As the zombie people are slowly getting to an uncomfortable distance of about twenty meters away from Halesey and Larry, the thought becomes more and more urgent. They're faster than they look. Not a lot faster, but still.
The Jesus-dude, for his part, does his best to take his two squatter friends out of the way of the slow zombie procession, and he succeeds at this rather easily, as his two friends seem to recognize their need to avoid jubilant and coughing people.
* * * * *
Clair quickly ascertains that her next objective is very clearly the grocery store, and heads over there, accompanied by John. The sudden movement in the room is enough to alert Samuel, who stirs from his resting place. What was that? Those footsteps sounded like Clair's. But he can't see the source! And they are getting further away! No! Samuel, not ready to be left alone in this world just yet, follows the rhythmic sound of Clair's footsteps on all fours, equally unready for two-legged forms of self-conveyance. As he half-crawls, half-rolls out into the street, he guesses he's got this following thing down - now it's time to mix this shit up a little. He transitions to full-on rolling, taking the magazine, opening it and somersaulting along the street in a series of fluid motions.
[Samuel's mind roll: 5-1+2]
He finds that the spinning sensation of rolling about helps with the absorption of forbidden knowledge, and is most delighted by the way he keeps discovering new things today.
Spoiler: Samuel's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Meanwhile, Clair and John wonder what the hell is Samuel doing right behind them. He seems to have forgotten how to walk, hilariously enough. That dude is fucked up, for real. For some reason, the sight makes both of them draw dangerously close to cracking up, so they ignore him for now, as they have reached the grocery store - an MMMart very much like any other you'd find in the city, complete with mildly disgruntled personnel, low prices and a lot of early Christmas decorations. The aforementioned personnel are only mildly disturbed by Samuel's inability to stand.
"Excuse me, but is that man with you?" a friendly security guard asks John and Clair. The two less stoned mages wonder how quickly one should reply 'no sir' in these circumstances.
Post by: Toaster on January 22, 2014, 02:56:49 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on January 22, 2014, 04:40:26 pm
"Don't worry though, I'll just fire off... just a few bits... of hell... just to, y'know, like a warning shot, or something."
He turned back to face the approaching horde of imbecilic infestation. He fought the urge to become nude. He couldn't really remember his own self well enough, or his surroundings, suddenly, to remember if he was nude or not in any case. He felt like the day he'd been born: full of wonder. And nude.
At least that's how he reckoned he must've been born. Naked, obviously, but probably pretty, like, amazed too. Amazed and inconvenienced. Put out. Screaming with fecking anger at being ripped out of his comfortable little leyline filled rundown factory, and irritated to hell at this bunch of grinning gobshites walking at him. He could remember it like it was yesterday. Grinning gobshites walking at him. Slowly. Walking fecking slowly, man, what the hell was that about? They should either damn well stand still or walk like a man.
He didn't know if the walking slowly fecked him right off more than the grinning or not.
Any eejit that could grin like that when they hadn't been touched by the potato was a goddamn fool.
"Don't worry man," Halesey said blankly, as the plague of fools got nearer, "It won't be like last time."
He spoke to his foe.
"You cannot pass," he spake, and the smiling halfwits remained silent, "I am the wielder of the ultimate potato based power, and I'm gonna feckin' well potato your asses to hell, yer big pack of grinning assbiscuits."
Cast Potato Vortex on the face of the lead tuberculosis zombie.
Post by: Cheesecake on January 22, 2014, 05:57:54 pm
"No fair!"
Willy turns and faces the two new guys. "Hey! I want powers too!"
Grab the Finger then complain about not having powers.
Post by: Toaster on January 22, 2014, 10:50:48 pm
Cast Sweaty Champignon Vortex off center to the other side as the Potato Hell Vortex!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Nunzillor on January 22, 2014, 11:05:55 pm
Post by: Gamerlord on January 23, 2014, 01:02:30 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on January 23, 2014, 04:20:24 am
Co-ordinate attacks with Larry. Go for Maximum Overdrive.
Spoiler: Halesey the Fiendish Potato Mage (click to show/hide)
Post by: scapheap on January 23, 2014, 08:23:16 am
Buy a cabbage.
Spoiler: Clair Malk (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 23, 2014, 09:26:17 am
"Halesey..."
"I knew you'd understand me, man," says Halesey, almost patting his comrade on the shoulder. "Don't worry though, I'll just fire off... just a few bits... of hell... just to, y'know, like a warning shot, or something."
He looks back at his foe, and briefly fights the desire to disrobe in order to approach his true nature more adequately.
"Don't worry man," Halesey says blankly, as the plague of fools gets nearer, "it won't be like last time."
Larry, however, figures that last time may not have been that bad, all in all.
"No, no... I think it is that time. In fact, put yours off to one side and I'll put mine off to the other, and we'll fuck these guys ten ways to Sunday."
That's good, Halesey supposes. Time for Maximum Overdrive, then. He turns to the happy-zombies.
"You cannot pass. I am the wielder of the ultimate potato based power, and I'm gonna feckin' well potato your asses to hell, yer big pack of grinning assbiscuits."
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->4]
Halesey's mind becomes aflame with the magnificent joy of power released as a sublime potato vortex appears to the side of the plague of smiling halfwits. The zombies look its way, and you can see it in their eyes - it is now that they know true awe and uninitiated fear in the face of this power they cannot hope to comprehend. The Power, in fact, with all the powerful meaning its expressive capitalization holds.
[Larry's affinity roll: 1-->5+1]
Larry is awed as well, it seems, for he seems to entirely forget to fire off his own vortex in the meantime. If Halesey weren't distracted himself, he would still understand, of course. The Power is nothing to scoff at, after all. Together, they watch the outlying zombie located right next to the emerging vortex immediately get pulled inside, followed by another nearer one, and the others immediately begin to grab for their more stable-looking friends. This prevents their fall into the vortex, but results in them falling over in the process. In but a moment, none of the zombies are still standing, although five of them still appear to be around, collapsed on the ground in an awkward group hug.
"What is that?" the Jesus-dude wonders. "Are those, like... potatoes, man?"
Willy, who has stayed behind to watch the shenanigans rather than proceed upstairs, is most shocked at the display.
"Hey Pete, who are these guys? Why'd they get better magicks than me?"
"Through effort, child! Though misguided, they are also blessed, clearly!"
Well, Willy can't have that. He looks at Halesey and Larry, summoning up all his petulance.
"Hey! I want powers too!" he shouts, but the others don't seem to mind him much. Granted, this is understandable - looking at the magnificent potato vortex over there, Willy can honestly say it is more than a little hypnotic. But there is still important business, namely the Finger of God he's supposed to pull or whatever. So he heads up the stairwell, followed closely by Hungry Pete, leaving the two wizards to their potato-related activities.
It takes them only a few minutes to reach the fourth floor, where they notice two ladies, one rather beautiful and businesslike, while the other seems plain, but still very similar in comparison. They also see a fat, rather poorly-dressed man who seems to have made the conscious decision to wear sandals in fall. The man notices them quickly.
"Who the hell are you two? What are you doing here?" he asks while the two women look at Hungry Pete distrustfully.
"We are here on a pilgrimage!" Hungry Pete states simply. "To touch the finger of God and find the true path!"
Post by: lawastooshort on January 23, 2014, 09:57:43 am
He turns briefly to Larry.
"What happened last time the power of potatoes touched the power of potatoes, dude? I think that memory might be left in the part of my brain I upgraded. Can't seem to remember. Probably shouldn't risk- or... oh well. Why not... They're only zombies, right?"
Maximum Overpotato the zombie group hug.
Post by: Pancaek on January 23, 2014, 10:26:34 am
Accompany Clair into the store to buy a cabbage
Post by: Toaster on January 23, 2014, 10:29:50 am
Try again with the vortex
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 23, 2014, 11:12:55 am
"No, sir," says Clair, pretending to only now notice the flailing, rolling mass of elbows, knees and magic next to her.
"Can't say I know the man, no," John adds.
"Great. Guess I'll have to drag him over to the security office, then," he says, grabbing Samuel by the feet even as he stares at the funny pictures in his book.
[Samuel's mind roll: 2+1]
The baked wizard's very own magical mystery tour this time around turns out a little disappointing. Maybe it's that he wasn't rolling around as hard. Or maybe it's the fact that the blood is rushing to his head a little. Or maybe it's the way he's being manhandled by what looks like a Skeksis, which is a bit disturbing. In any case, the magic does not find as easy a path through his nostrils into his brain as usual.
Spoiler: Samuel's New Spell (click to show/hide)
While Samuel is dragged away to a more suitable resting place, Clair and John go shopping for cabbage - there does seem to be a lot of it in the produce section, they notice. Like, a veritable goddamn bin of cabbage. And it's not too expensive, either. Upon grabbing a head of cabbage (with John's considerate help, obviously), Clair heads back to the register, where she purchases said cabbage. The lady at the counter asks absolutely no questions about this, though her smile does seem a little forced. And her eyes dart around in a way Clair does not entirely appreciate.
Post by: Cheesecake on January 23, 2014, 05:41:53 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 23, 2014, 06:07:47 pm
"I'm 'sposed to pull God's Finger or something. Do you know where it is mister?"
"No idea. For all I know, you two are a bunch of crazy hobos."
"Aha! There lies your error, my corpulent friend! Just because we are crazy hobos does not mean we do not carry God's light within us!"
"See, this is exactly what I'm talking about."
"What do you think, Willy, my boy? Shall we demonstrate the power of God to this infidel?"
"... not liking the sound of that," the woman suddenly speaks up. Her more fetching companion nods in agreement.
Post by: Gamerlord on January 23, 2014, 06:39:57 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 24, 2014, 03:30:54 am
Cast POISONOUS TEA WAVE upon this fool!
You can only have 3 spells due to your low Mind. Your number of possible spells is 3+Mind, in case you were wondering. So that means you've got two spells two many in that list of yours. If you want Poisonous Tea Wave, you need to get rid of one of the first three spells, plus another one to make room for Bless Unicycle.
Post by: Gamerlord on January 24, 2014, 03:36:36 am
Post by: scapheap on January 24, 2014, 04:39:54 am
Spoiler: clair malk (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 24, 2014, 05:02:16 am
I'll remove Rain of Sweaty Ducks and Bless Unicycle.
You can't remove Bless Unicycle because it's your latest spell. Gotta keep that one, sorry.
Post by: Gamerlord on January 24, 2014, 05:07:50 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 24, 2014, 05:11:17 am
Fuck. Animate Cookies then.
Update the sheet in your post, then. I'd rather not get confused when I come back to check it.
Post by: Cheesecake on January 24, 2014, 05:54:01 am
CAST HAPPY TUBERCULOSIS!
"It takes a while though. In the meantime do you know where the Finger is?"
Get the finger!
Post by: lawastooshort on January 24, 2014, 06:33:50 am
I'll remove Rain of Sweaty Ducks
That's pretty much an alpha-power-level spell, dude. An unforgettable way of demonstrating your awesome power, if you're outside. Think carefully.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 25, 2014, 10:17:44 am
"What happened last time the power of potatoes touched the power of potatoes, dude? I think that memory might be left in the part of my brain I upgraded. Can't seem to remember. Probably shouldn't risk- or... oh well. Why not... They're only zombies, right?" he decides after a moment of contemplation without any recognizable input from Larry, turning his power on the zombies again.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5]
Another potato vortex appears right above the group of zombies, exerting an upward pull on them and loosening their grip on the ground. Physics are against them once again! As a result, an aggregation of two zombies is lost within while the remaining three are pulled dangerously close to it.
"Fuckin' potatoes, man," Larry says, and then realizes he should probably contribute somehow.
[Larry's affinity roll: 3+1]
Another vortex, though this one appears to be filled with button mushrooms rather than potatoes, and odd-smelling ones at that, appears near the other two - the zombies probably aren't pleased as they get dragged closer and closer to the group of vortexes. Or maybe they are. They seem pretty easy to keep happy. They'll probably love it inside the vortex.
Higher up, Willy seeks to demonstrate his power.
"Haha, finally!"
[Willy's affinity roll: 2]
However, the happy tuberculosis he wishes to obtain fails to manifest on his hand.
"Worry not, child! I will show them my power!"
[Hungry Pete's affinity roll: 2]
His expression becomes quite intense and filled with divine ecstasy, but, similarly to Willy, nothing appears. Willy tries to salvage the situation.
"It takes a while though. In the meantime, do you know where the Finger is?"
"Nope, can't say that I do. Have you checked any churches, maybe?"
"Churches are for mere men and women of no knowledge! We seek higher forms of worship!"
"That's real interesting," the fat guy replies, taking a step back. He seems to be concentrating and not really listening.
Post by: lawastooshort on January 26, 2014, 03:15:18 pm
Fire off a quick musical garbage blast at the resisters then head off to the pawnshop.
Post by: Toaster on January 26, 2014, 11:00:46 pm
Follow!
Post by: Dorsidwarf on January 27, 2014, 06:20:12 pm
Post by: Toaster on January 28, 2014, 11:24:53 am
Post by: lawastooshort on January 28, 2014, 12:50:47 pm
I reckon we both think he's going to try to manipulate us into being his disciples and deprive us of what is rightfully ours. Conflict ahoy.
That said, I think abandoned is a bit harsh - followed orders and let him fend for himself, is how I'd put it.
Post by: Toaster on January 28, 2014, 01:04:58 pm
Post by: Pancaek on January 29, 2014, 07:08:18 am
Follow clair into alley. If nothing bad happens, keep eyes on cabbage at all times
Post by: scapheap on January 29, 2014, 07:13:21 am
Follow clair into alley.*looks at avatar* I'm now very worried for some reason.
Post by: Pancaek on January 29, 2014, 07:16:18 am
((nah, it'll be fine. Trust me. I'm a trustworthy guy. Honest.Follow clair into alley.*looks at avatar* I'm now very worried for some reason.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 29, 2014, 07:58:41 am
[Samuel's affinity roll: 4]
[Security Guard's body roll: 6-->4]
Suddenly, a great mass of a brownish-green liquid appears in the air, flying at the bird creature from his right side. The unsubtlety of the wave, however, negatively impacts its effectiveness - the Skeksis drops to the ground after spotting it, and the wave goes right over him, crashing into a wall and splashing poisonous tea everywhere, but seemingly hurting nobody. Not yet, anyway. Samuel does notice that the tea, which seems to be staring at him oddly, is drawing awfully close to his prone form.
"Ghraah! What sorcery is this?" the Skeksis seems to ask.
Not very far from this scene of battle, Clair and John quickly get their cabbage and leave the store, heading out into an alley, Clair occasionally glancing at her quiet companion with a slight measure of distrust. The alley, fortunately, is unoccupied, so Clair pulls out the head of cabbage and tries to ensorcel it.
[Clair's affinity roll: 2]
The cabbage remains entirely detectable, though. Disturbingly so. John just looks at the thing uncomprehendingly, not sure what deeper meaning Clair is trying to attain from it.
* * * * *
In the factory, Halesey and Larry try to bring the matter of the zombies to a close.
"Yo Larry, let's just go, right? Leave 'em to the vortices... vortexes... something. Weren't we gonna go make cash or something?"
Halfway through the sentence, though, he decides that, really, what's one more musical garbage blast? Have to make sure these things are gone, right? Who knows what they could get up to otherwise.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3]
[Halesey's finesse roll: 5]
He unerringly points his hand at one of the zombies' faces, and a group of tin cans shoots out of it, slamming into it and flying off in separate directions, playing an uncanny rendition of 'Shave and a Haircut' as they hit the ground. The zombie slightly loosens its grip on its two comrades, and thus slides slowly toward the vortexes, another of its comrades rolling past it and disappearing into the potato realm in short order. The others probably won't be long for this world, either. Guess it's time to leave.
"Uh, yeah, suck that!" Larry adds as they both head out. Soon enough they are outside, walking off to locate some manner of pawn shop - there isn't one in this neighborhood, but a broader search eventually leads them to a rather nasty-looking place closer to the center of town. It says 'Pawn Shop' on it, at least. In big, black letters on a yellow background, no less. Walking in, they notice that this appears to be as regular as a pawn shop in this area gets - lots of crap, lots of electronics, some interesting-looking stuff (some sort of musket, for instance, and a very old lawn mower) that the owner probably doesn't expect to sell. As the two stroll in, the man at the counter looks at the two expectantly.
"Hello?"
Post by: Gamerlord on January 29, 2014, 08:02:43 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 29, 2014, 08:05:23 am
DAMNIT. UNDULATING PEACH GOLEM WALL.
Protip: it's usually best to state where you want something to appear. Otherwise it's random.
Post by: Gamerlord on January 29, 2014, 08:10:32 am
Post by: scapheap on January 29, 2014, 08:23:49 am
Read mag
Spoiler: Clair Malk (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on January 29, 2014, 08:54:00 am
Examine the musket.
Post by: Pancaek on January 29, 2014, 08:56:18 am
Cast attract sausages. observe results
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 29, 2014, 10:03:50 am
[Samuel's affinity roll: 2]
No such wall appears, though. Not within the creature or anywhere else. The Skeksis seems to be quite confused.
"I must report to my overseers!" he crows, rushing off someplace. Ha-hah! He is vanquished! And now Samuel is lying in a massive puddle of poisonous tea. Hm. Hopefully it doesn't work on contact with one's skin.
* * * * *
Clair wonders what might have gone wrong here. Probably everything. And someone's undoubtedly responsible. Regardless, she will consult her tome of knowledge for aid.
[Clair's mind roll: 3+1+1]
The infinite chaos of color appears to be warming up to her slowly, as this time three migrating lights come into her possession after a bit of hunting. This is becoming quite enjoyable indeed.
Spoiler: Clair's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
John looks on as Clair stares at her magazine. Hm.
"Well, might as well try something out myself," he eventually says, and tries to attract some sausages.
[John's affinity roll: 6-->3]
He concentrates on the idea of becoming a true sausage magnet, a power to truly reckon with in this day and age. For the first twenty or so seconds, he doesn't quite notice anything happening. Then he hears some glass breaking in the distance. Then nothing. Hm. What about-
[John's body roll: 5-1]
As he hears the wind shift behind him, he quickly ducks, and notices a rather sizable length of sausage fly over his head, visibly arcing toward him. Luckily, when it changed direction, it lost a lot of its speed. This sausage is followed by several smaller ones. Seems like there's a butcher shop nearby or something.
Post by: Gamerlord on January 29, 2014, 10:10:02 am
Post by: scapheap on January 29, 2014, 10:52:53 am
She then look for clues on the three drop outs
Spoiler: clair malk (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on January 29, 2014, 11:06:08 am
Show him the book! While he's distracted, Breathe out some more.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on January 29, 2014, 01:01:47 pm
Post by: Toaster on January 29, 2014, 01:27:24 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 29, 2014, 03:42:34 pm
"Show him one of your books, dude..." he tells Larry as he examines the musket - it looks old, ornate and in all likelihood completely useless to any reasonable person. Probably not very useful to Halesey, either, considering you have to load it through the muzzle and it doesn't help him conjure potato vortexes in any measurable way. Not as much as ridding himself of his filthy vestments might, anyway.
Larry, meanwhile, walks up to the pawnbroker.
"Look at this, bro; I got some wack shit that I know you'll love here!"
"You have no idea how often I-" the pawnbroker begins, but then Larry shows him the mag. "What's this?" he asks, opening up and beginning to look through the mag. "Whoa," he can only say as his eyes wander over the pages.
"Pretty good, Larry, pretty good. Fluent, almost. You should get out some more while he's not looking..." Halesey adds, pausing in his appreciation of antiquated weapons of war.
"Good idea," Larry replies, preparing to breathe divine gentlemen's literature once again.
[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->6+1]
His mouth opens wider than he ever thought possible, and magazines begin to spill out in massive quantities, filling the floor of the pawn shop rapidly. Soon enough, Larry is buried up to his waist in various mysterious divine mags, and the rest of the store is filled up to knee height. Quite the deluge. There's probably not been one like it in the longest time. And the pawnbroker doesn't seem to have noticed any of it, transfixed as he is. He appears to snap out of it quickly, though, raising his eyes back to Larry.
"This is amazing. Where'd you get this thing? And... hey, what happened just now?" he asks as he notices the way his floor has suddenly filled up with godly smut and the way Larry seems to be reflexively wiping his mouth.
Post by: Gamerlord on January 29, 2014, 03:53:39 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 29, 2014, 03:57:14 pm
((What kind of spells is Larry casting and can I get him to teach me?))
You, too, can obtain the power of breathing divine gentlemen's literature and potato vortexes! All it takes is an obscene amount of luck. Otherwise you'll just get something else.
Post by: Pancaek on January 29, 2014, 04:01:43 pm
collect the sausages. Nibble on one of the sausages, read my magazine once more while following clair
Post by: Toaster on January 29, 2014, 04:20:19 pm
Larry grins. "You might say there's more where that came from. Now we'd like to sell it to you. Interested?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 29, 2014, 04:23:25 pm
((Hey, HEY! Mine's a Champignon vortex- and a sweaty one at that. Get it right!))
Larry grins. "You might say there's more where that came from. Now we'd like to sell it to you. Interested?"
"I'll give you... one dollar per mag."
Post by: Toaster on January 29, 2014, 04:38:56 pm
Larry raises an eyebrow. "This new stuff's better, bro. Check it out!"
Hand a new one to the clerk. Also check one myself.
Post by: Toaster on January 29, 2014, 04:41:15 pm
...and it doesn't help him conjure potato vortexes in any measurable way. Not as much as ridding himself of his filthy vestments might, anyway.
((Also, hah.))
Post by: lawastooshort on January 29, 2014, 05:53:33 pm
Post by: Cheesecake on January 29, 2014, 06:57:57 pm
"Hey, mister. Wanna help us find the Finger?"
"He'd better. As soon as we get the Finger, we're leaving this madhouse! Just like the one before."
Find the finger! Get powers!
Post by: Toaster on January 29, 2014, 08:38:44 pm
((we should find an open space and have a vortex-off))
((Awesome as sweaty mushrooms are, I doubt Larry would go against Potato Hell.))
Post by: lawastooshort on January 30, 2014, 04:49:25 am
Post by: Gamerlord on January 30, 2014, 04:51:01 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 30, 2014, 06:37:33 am
* * * * *
Clair, after briefly wondering what sort of Hamlet-esque plot you could enact with a set of envenomed hats, chooses the time-tested, seductive (though she has no way to know this, obviously) power of potatoes over any alternatives, and heads out to look for those dropout kids. John follows her, gazing into his magazine.
[John's mind roll: 6-->3+1]
His mind-wanderings are quite distracting, requiring Clair to keep a pretty close eye on him to make sure he's going in the right direction. But they are also fruitful, netting John a rather considerable number of spheres - four in total.
Spoiler: John's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Eventually, the two reach the abandoned row of buildings near the factory district as instructed - it does indeed look mostly abandoned, and filled with low income housing projects that appear to have met a premature, unfortunate end - many look to be woefully unfinished. From the street, though, it's a bit difficult to tell where exactly one might find a bunch of dropouts, though Clair and John can spot some sort of light in some of the buildings - they are evidently not entirely without inhabitants.
What's more, the lack of both suspicious shadows and the ability to hear colors whispering in their minds lead the two wizards to believe that the effects of the dip may have worn off.
* * * * *
Larry, not entirely content with such a low price for such quality literature, even if he can theoretically produce infinite numbers of it, tries to persuade the pawnbroker that the stuff is really worth a better price.
"This new stuff's better, bro. Check it out!" he says, grabbing a mag from the pile and handing it to the man, who looks inside it. Judging by his expression, Larry thinks that the dude might not be impressed.
"I... don't go for that kind of thing. Keep it," he says, offering it back to Larry, though Larry seems busy with some other mag - this one seems to feature nine different women, and has a very artistic theme to it. It's a little different from the one he read before - this one seems to focus purely on beauty, rather than have an undercurrent of brutality to it than the other one - for one, the ladies in this one don't seem to be killing anyone. Furthermore, there's no feature like that of Tiamat's, which Larry still wonders about a little. In addition, the magazine itself feels somehow... inspiring to him. And not in the usual way, either!
* * * * *
Willy guesses that this lack of power needs to be mitigated soon.
"Hey, mister. Wanna help us find the Finger?"
"Not really? It sounds a little icky, honestly."
Oh well. No accounting for weak stomachs in this line of work. Time to do some sensing! Willy moves forward to seek... the Finger! He stomps around the room, sniffing the air, but finds little of interest. Maybe it's behind a wall someplace?
"I sense it is around, Willy! But I don't know where!"
The fat guy seems to have an idea.
"Actually, I think I know where ya can try to look - I've heard o' this place, this school downtown, Mills High, was it? That place has got something weird in it. Like, some kind of great source of power. Maybe that's what yer looking for?"
Post by: Gamerlord on January 30, 2014, 06:42:06 am
Post by: Cheesecake on January 30, 2014, 07:15:37 am
Let's go to school!
Post by: lawastooshort on January 30, 2014, 08:30:48 am
((Why does that sound like the two of you are going to masturbate at each other until one person 'wins'?))
((because you are a bad bad person? I honestly can't think of any other reason - both me and Toaster are rather better at puerile double entendres than that))
Post by: Toaster on January 30, 2014, 09:04:22 am
both me and Toaster are rather better at puerile double entendres than that))
*brofist*
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 30, 2014, 09:20:52 am
Larry stares at the magazine for a couple more seconds, then shakes to attention. "Two bucks each. You can't get stuff like this anywhere else."
The pawnbroker doesn't dignify your attempt at haggling with a counter-offer.
"Where'd you get these, anyway? Haven't seen these anywhere. And how'd you fill the store with them?"
Post by: Toaster on January 30, 2014, 09:28:32 am
"Where'd you get these, anyway? Haven't seen these anywhere. And how'd you fill the store with them?"
Larry snorts. "You let me worry about supply, and I'll keep you hooked up. Now you want them or not?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 30, 2014, 10:26:47 am
Larry snorts. "You let me worry about supply, and I'll keep you hooked up. Now you want them or not?"
"Nah, you see, the problem I have here is this - you hand me a single mag and tell me it's great. And I can tell it's great. Then you show me that you're literally knee-deep in the stuff, and it all came suddenly from god only knows where. Let's say I buy them from you at 2 bucks a mag, and I have, like, a thousand. Or ten thousand. You admitted you've got even more in your possession, maybe a regular supply. Then the next day I find out you went through this exact same routine with half the pawn shops, porn stores and newsstands in the city, and I'm left here, wondering how I'm going to make that two to twenty grand back, pay for my utilities and feed my family this month. Yeah, until you tell me exactly what's up, I'm not buying anything."
Post by: Toaster on January 30, 2014, 10:47:36 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 30, 2014, 10:50:15 am
((Wait, how much money did we need again?))
50 grand! Not unreasonable, I'd say.
Post by: Toaster on January 30, 2014, 11:12:20 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 30, 2014, 11:17:47 am
Larry gives the man a squint that he probably thought was shrewd. "How about I sign a paper that gives you exclusive access to the material?"
"That's pretty much the only way that's gonna work, yeah. My main question right now is how much volume you can get me per month? As much as you've got now, or more?"
Post by: Toaster on January 30, 2014, 11:19:39 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 30, 2014, 11:24:21 am
Larry looks around. "Uhhh... yeah, this is a month."
"Where do you get them?"
Post by: Toaster on January 30, 2014, 02:54:49 pm
Larry looks around. "Uhhh... yeah, this is a month."
"Where do you get them?"
"Now who's the business man? If I told you that, you... uh... might try to get them yourself? Leave me out, ya know? It's all legal, don't worry. They're not hot. Except for the boobs, heh heh."
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 30, 2014, 03:15:38 pm
"Now who's the business man? If I told you that, you... uh... might try to get them yourself? Leave me out, ya know? It's all legal, don't worry. They're not hot. Except for the boobs, heh heh."
"Okay. 50 cents per mag."
Post by: Toaster on January 30, 2014, 03:42:13 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 30, 2014, 03:56:11 pm
Larry's eyes narrowed. "Hey now, you said a buck!"
"That was before I saw that other mag you showed me. I suspect not all of them are sunshine and great boobs now."
Post by: Toaster on January 30, 2014, 04:04:01 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 30, 2014, 04:10:51 pm
"You know porn enthusiasts, man- they go for all types. Why don't you check a few more?"
"Pass some."
Post by: lawastooshort on January 30, 2014, 04:13:39 pm
Post by: Toaster on January 30, 2014, 04:18:40 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 30, 2014, 04:23:39 pm
Larry passes some over. A potato crosses his mind.
He looks at one magazine, leafing through it quickly, and seems rather impressed.
"Got some fertility goddess action here, I see..."
He then puts that away and takes another one, beginning to read.
"Don't know who that is, but she's hot, I guess... and the other ones are pretty good, too..."
Finally, he grabs a third one, leafing through doubtfully.
"Yeah, this one's got bestiality. See, the quality varies, and I'm gonna have to sort through all these to determine which ones to sell to who. 50 cents per mag is the highest I'll go."
Post by: lawastooshort on January 30, 2014, 04:27:22 pm
Almost telepathically, a potato also crosses Halesey's mind.
Post by: Toaster on January 30, 2014, 04:30:03 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 30, 2014, 04:38:31 pm
"How much can you pay us now? There's quite a lot of these, eh?"
Almost telepathically, a potato also crosses Halesey's mind.
"I can't pay you anything right now. At least not without completely depleting the cash I need to run the pawn shop. It'd take me a while to actually get any money."
Larry sighed. "Fifteen grand for the lot and the promise that you're the only dealer. I'm sure there's at least twenty thousand here," he said, sweeping his hand dismissively at the pile.
"And I'm especially not paying anyone for ballpark estimates. You don't sound like you know what's in this pile any more than I do. First, I need an accurate count of the mags. Then I or somebody else needs to sort through the content. Then I need to find out the results of both of those actions, and then I need to get a contract drafted up that formalizes our little arrangement. And then I need to actually sell off all the mags to the right people. And only then I can pay you."
Post by: Toaster on January 30, 2014, 04:44:33 pm
Larry wades out, dragging Halesey behind him. Once they are clear, he brings up his favorite subject. "We could just potato this jerk, but he's a pawn shop guy. He's got guns. What do you think?"
Post by: lawastooshort on January 30, 2014, 05:06:42 pm
Post by: Toaster on January 30, 2014, 06:18:34 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on January 31, 2014, 04:57:10 am
Post by: Toaster on January 31, 2014, 11:14:36 am
Larry strolls back in. "Seventy five cents each, and we'll need half of that now."
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 31, 2014, 11:30:56 am
Larry sighs, clearly annoyed with the prospects. "Fine. But we'll at least get some advance money, yeah?"
Larry strolls back in. "Seventy five cents each, and we'll need half of that now."
"How many mags are here? Are you going to count them, or will I? And I can't pay you in advance because we don't have a contract, which means you can take the money and run, and I'll have no way to hold you to your word."
Post by: Toaster on January 31, 2014, 12:26:24 pm
Count!
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 31, 2014, 12:29:48 pm
Larry squints at the pile. "We'll count them now. And what, you think I'm going to pick up all of these magazines and run before you can shoot me?"
Count!
"Nah, but you could have been lying to me about this being all the magazines you can get."
Post by: Toaster on January 31, 2014, 01:16:36 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 31, 2014, 01:21:13 pm
"You think I just breathed them all out?" he said in a rare display of accurate sarcasm.
"I know they appeared here somehow. And if you've got this many, why couldn't you have more?"
Post by: Toaster on January 31, 2014, 01:23:32 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on January 31, 2014, 02:01:29 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 01, 2014, 12:42:45 pm
* * * * *
The idea of going to school appeals to Willy, mostly because he's never been to one and doesn't know any better.
"Hey Pete! Let's go! I've never been to a real school before!"
"Hm... it may be an attempt to misdirect us, but we trust you, portly man! We hope our trust has not been misplaced!"
"Nah, I've got a good feeling about yer chances to find something like what yer looking for!"
And so the two weirdos head back down the factory stairs, leaving the fat man alone, and, paying absolutely no mind to the complete absence of their loyal cultists, head out to find Mills High - sadly, though, they have no idea where it might be.
"I suspect we are both altogether too unfamiliar with this city to find what we are looking for, child! Let us drop to our knees in prayer for our Lord to show us the way!" Hungry Pete suddenly says, then drops to his knees, closes his eyes and seems to mutter something to himself.
* * * * *
Larry and Halesey, in order to find out the exact number of dirty god-mags in this store, participate in as quick a count of the ones that litter the floor right now. It takes the better part of two hours, but eventually the three men manage to settle on a total count of 3 357 mags. Not as good as some might hope, but a very decent number all in all.
"Well, that's definitely not ten thousand mags, but it's not too bad anyway. I think I'll agree on seventy-five cents per mag - a lot of the stuff here seemed to be of the more conventional kind."
Post by: Toaster on February 01, 2014, 01:46:37 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 01, 2014, 02:08:12 pm
"So how about this- I sign your paper and you give us a thousand now and the rest when you sell them?"
"That works. Let me call up my lawyer right quick."
Post by: lawastooshort on February 01, 2014, 03:02:31 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 01, 2014, 03:35:22 pm
"Don't we know a lawyer? We could ask him to check out this contract before we sign anything."
"Sure. It's your right, after all."
Post by: lawastooshort on February 01, 2014, 05:32:43 pm
"We could offer Al the Lawyer a 10% cut to keep everything legal and not screwing us over? Or 5? He was called Al, right? Was that this morning? He was a good guy and probably knows more about contracts that us. He'll let us know if we have to potato this jerk. Take it out of my share if you object - I don't think I actually need that much money any more, you know? I've... in some way ascended to a higher plane. A shamanic plane. Yeah. More, like, poetical than the life I've left behind."
If Larry doesn't object, try to go get Al the Lawyer to help us out on making sure the contract is legit. Offer him 10% out of my share or something. Point out this is legitimate and legal business. If he asks, I left mine behind in England as this wasn't meant to be a business trip, but I just can't help myself when it comes to business.
He surely wasn't called Al, right? Was he a lawyer?
Post by: Pancaek on February 01, 2014, 06:12:27 pm
Go over to one of the buildings that seems inhabited, knock on the door and ask for information about the kids
Spoiler: john (click to show/hide)
Post by: Nunzillor on February 01, 2014, 08:06:02 pm
Post by: Toaster on February 01, 2014, 08:54:09 pm
"Sure, whatever. Once we get Summon Babes and Infinite Power, it won't matter anyway. Or firing laser beams out of my nipples or whatever."
Post by: Nunzillor on February 01, 2014, 09:48:43 pm
Have good infrastructure would give you a leg up over the various other magic wanna-be groups in the area!
Post by: Toaster on February 01, 2014, 10:01:56 pm
Post by: scapheap on February 02, 2014, 03:37:27 am
"Well, I suppose we should go and ask if anyone has seen these kids"I shall do the same
Go over to one of the buildings that seems inhabited, knock on the door and ask for information about the kids
Spoiler: Clair Malk (click to show/hide)
Post by: Gamerlord on February 02, 2014, 03:39:58 am
Hellooooo~
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 02, 2014, 02:20:27 pm
"We could offer Al the Lawyer a 10% cut to keep everything legal and not screwing us over? Or 5? He was called Al, right? Was that this morning? He was a good guy and probably knows more about contracts that us. He'll let us know if we have to potato this jerk. Take it out of my share if you object - I don't think I actually need that much money any more, you know? I've... in some way ascended to a higher plane. A shamanic plane. Yeah. More, like, poetical than the life I've left behind," he mentions to Larry.
"Sure, whatever. Once we get Summon Babes and Infinite Power, it won't matter anyway. Or firing laser beams out of my nipples or whatever," Larry replies. Halesey is glad to have him on board, and takes his phone immediately, where he finds the contact for Al the Lawyer, which must have been put there by Elizabeth after she disappeared into the shadows a while ago. He calls Al right up, waiting a moment for an answer.
"... yes?"
Halesey breathes heavily for a moment, but then decides against making that sort of call at this particular hour and goes about his business.
"Al the Lawyer?"
"... no? This is Her-"
"I have business with you. Legal, legitimate business."
"Well, that's certainly unusual, I mean, not that that's a problem, sir, but-"
"I need you to-"
Before Halesey can complete this sentence, though, the shampoo raincloud above him flashes, and a streak of soaped lightning arcs into his body without provocation of any sort, followed by the sound of rolling thunder.
[Halesey's body roll: 5]
Halesey twitches, gibbers inarticulately for a moment and starts swinging his arms around, but seems to overall be perfectly alright. He looks at the phone, which similarly seems to have gone completely unharmed, which is quite the testament to either its construction or a very convincing argument that shampoo lightning might not be as deadly as regular lightning. He merrily puts the phone back up to his ear and speaks.
"I need you to look over this contract. You're a lawyer, right?"
"Um, no, I'm actually a-"
"Great. We'll get this sorted out in no time. Get on over to..."
"Klein's Pawn Shop on Burton Street."
"Yeah, Klein's Pawn Shop on Burton Street. It's very important that you do," Halesey concludes the conversation, hangs up and hands the phone back to Larry. Larry, in turn, isn't quite sure what just happened. Who did Halesey even call? Hopefully not his mom or something.
"So, let me just go into the back room and call up my own guy, and we'll have this done in a couple hours."
He wanders slightly away from his new pals and makes a phone call. Not long after he's done, Al the Lawyer arrives, stepping cautiously into the store, his eyes immediately drawn to the now-organized stacks of smut filling one whole side of the store.
"So, uh, you needed help with something? A contract, right?"
* * * * *
John, in an uncharacteristic move, takes the initiative as Clair follows, moving onward to adventure. As they move, they are vaguely aware of Samuel slinking behind them.
"Hellooooo~" Samuel intones, but nobody listens to him as the two approach a random tenement. Checking the stairwell door, Clair finds it locked, so it is up to John to knock on the window most likely to have people behind it. This has pretty decent results, as soon the dark-haired head of a rather grungy-looking adolescent girl pokes out of the window.
"What do you guys want? And what's wrong with that guy?" she asks, pointing at Samuel, who appears to be pretending to be jelly. She turns back to John and Clair, who seem to be busy deciding how extremely likely it is that they're looking for this girl. Their guess would be 'very'. "And why're you looking at me like that?"
Post by: scapheap on February 02, 2014, 02:28:16 pm
Post by: Gamerlord on February 02, 2014, 02:30:04 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 02, 2014, 02:32:10 pm
"First question, Do you know a Mister Lee?
"Oh shi-uh, no?" she replies, trying to look innocent. She seems to have also decided against leaning out of the window so far.
Samuel wobbles over to the girl. Hello!
The girl nervously jerks her head toward the sight and sound of you, then looks back at Clair. Here eyes begin to dart between all three of her visitors. You can smell fear! Yay!
Post by: lawastooshort on February 02, 2014, 02:46:03 pm
Post by: scapheap on February 02, 2014, 03:16:05 pm
Spoiler: Clair Malk (click to show/hide)
Post by: Gamerlord on February 02, 2014, 03:21:35 pm
Post by: scapheap on February 02, 2014, 03:41:41 pm
You smell pretty - you smell like fear~Scandalous Potato Bolt Samuel
Post by: Pancaek on February 02, 2014, 03:46:12 pm
say the above to the girl
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 03, 2014, 01:21:03 pm
"Hi, Herbert. Thanks for getting here so quick. Yeah, I wondered if you could read over the contract that Al the Lawyer is gonna draw up for Klein the Pawn Shop dude here, just to make sure everything looks legit. Basically we want him to be our distributor for our publishing business in the States, you see, so he wants exclusive rights in the US, and Mexico, and we want some money. I know, I know, I'm just meant to be on vacation here, but when I see a good deal I can't help myself. And you've been a real good friend since earlier, so I wondered if you would want in, and help me out for, say, 5% of the ongoing contract? It's to sell gentleman's literature, so if you have qualms, I won't be offended if you back out. The first amount is something like $3000 times three quarters, and I can't remember the rest of the details cos I just got struck by lightning, but they seemed okay to me. What do you say? Or even 25%, if you feel like managing the business side of things for me."
Herbert sure looks like he finds the idea somewhat distasteful, but he seems to have decided against expressing this sentiment.
"Er... sure. I'll help you. For, uh, five percent. Yeah. Five percent sounds good. I guess I'll... speak to Mr. Klein, then."
"You'll speak to my lawyer, rather. He's coming over. I've got the backroom ready for the negotiations. Go right in," Mr. Klein says, pointing to a door. Herbert glances back at the pawnbroker with what seems like uncertainty. "He'll be there in a few minutes. So go on. We'll do fine here."
Herbert nods slowly, then walks into the backroom. At this point, Mr. Klein turns back to Halesey.
"Hope it's not too much of an imposition, but you wouldn't happen to be somehow related to all that weird business going on in the news? Dinosaurs raining from the sky, mountains of cocaine turning up in the street, weird creatures running around, that sort of thing? I'm asking for safety here."
* * * * *
Clair tries to make the girl relax by doing her best impression of a worried hostage negotiator.
"Relax, you not in much trouble, mostly since there isn't a glowing crater or something. Your family is probable worried sick and Lee sent us because... I don't know, keep us out of trouble," she speaks in her characteristic urban dialect. However, just then Samuel decides he wishes to be his regular charming self again.
"You smell pretty - you smell like fear~" he says in a sing-song voice, which visibly creeps out the girl, causing Clair to take matters into her own hands.
[Clair's affinity roll: 3]
[Clair's finesse roll: 2]
A potato flies out of her fingertip, which she just so happens to be pointing at the ground. As it hits the pavement, it splatters, causing the girl, John and Samuel emit a simultaneous involuntary gasp. That's definitely no way for a potato to suddenly appear and behave, they believe. John is the first to take charge of the situation.
"Ahem, pay no mind to him, he's had a complicated childhood. Honestly, you aren't in any trouble, we're just here to check up on you and perhaps convince you to go back with us, as my partner already said. Mister Lee and your parents are worried sick."
"I'll... be right back. Hold that thought," the girl says, nervously closing the window, pulling the drapes shut. The three mages can hear a faint stomping sound that soon fades into nothingness. Hm. That could have gone better.
Post by: Toaster on February 03, 2014, 01:34:35 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on February 03, 2014, 07:21:43 pm
Post by: Pancaek on February 03, 2014, 07:23:07 pm
"She's not coming back, is she?"
Post by: Toaster on February 03, 2014, 09:53:59 pm
Now if we just start shoving people in potato hell, that's another story.))
Post by: Nunzillor on February 03, 2014, 10:57:17 pm
No risk, no gain! Plus, even if you fail, the amusement level will be quite high!
Post by: Gamerlord on February 04, 2014, 02:21:00 am
Post by: scapheap on February 04, 2014, 03:30:46 am
John clears his throat"Unlikely. Should we follow or find the other two?"
"She's not coming back, is she?"
Post by: Gamerlord on February 04, 2014, 03:35:14 am
((I'm cracking up here; completely and utterly loving this!))
Post by: lawastooshort on February 04, 2014, 05:21:28 am
Given his criminal background, it would not be an implausible thing for him to offer.
((Whose criminal background?!
Post by: Pancaek on February 04, 2014, 09:07:24 am
"I think it's highly likely that they've stuck together, so she probably went to the other two. I don't suppose we could just...break into the house?"John clears his throat"Unlikely. Should we follow or find the other two?"
"She's not coming back, is she?"
Post by: Gamerlord on February 04, 2014, 09:11:46 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 04, 2014, 03:03:38 pm
And aside, to Larry:
"Dude, does this guy want us to protect him, and us to be like a racketeering mafia or something? I don't like it, but it seems like the only practical thing I can do with potato hell, eh? If I can learn to focus slightly harder than nothing could withstand the power of my mighty vortexes..."
Post by: Toaster on February 04, 2014, 03:06:26 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on February 04, 2014, 04:01:46 pm
Post by: Toaster on February 04, 2014, 04:09:05 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on February 04, 2014, 04:26:01 pm
Post by: Toaster on February 04, 2014, 04:51:03 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on February 04, 2014, 04:52:57 pm
Spoiler: Halesey (click to show/hide)
Well, I assumed they weren't running after him to give him hugs and candy... That's why I thought he had a criminal background.
Post by: lawastooshort on February 04, 2014, 04:59:25 pm
((Oh, that criminal background. Well, that's not, like, real crime! Euh.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 05, 2014, 10:27:00 am
"What, us? We're fine upstanding distributors of gentleman's literature. Why would you ask that?"
"Because you made gentlemen's literature appear out of thin air and your friend has a raincloud, complete with lightning, hovering over his head. You two definitely aren't normal is what I'm trying to say here."
"Safety? What kind of safety?"
"My safety, mostly. If you two are mixed up with this whole business happening in this town, I'd like to know in advance."
Post by: lawastooshort on February 05, 2014, 11:17:13 am
Post by: Toaster on February 05, 2014, 11:25:04 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 05, 2014, 11:45:04 am
”Crap. Totally forgot about that. Er, I’m in a micro-climate?”
"I... don't believe that, to be honest."
"The potato truck dropped them off."
"Through the door while I was looking away?"
Post by: lawastooshort on February 05, 2014, 12:00:09 pm
Want one?"
Post by: Nunzillor on February 06, 2014, 01:41:28 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 06, 2014, 09:09:29 am
"Yeah, it was a hybrid truck, they're pretty quiet, you know. Yeah. Um, but the micro-climate thing? That's about the best explanation I've got, sorry. I really don't know what else to say about it - I've got this soapy cloud stuck above my head and from time to time it electrocutes me in the face.
Want one?"
"I'll do without, thank you," Klein says and sighs. "I think the legal bits will probably take a while. I'll have your buddy call you up when they're done if you don't want to stay here for the duration."
Post by: lawastooshort on February 07, 2014, 03:08:30 am
If Larry has no ideas, then go home to sleep. Don't think I have done since I opened the magic folder. Then come back when the legal stuff is done. I don't want to get mixed up in some kind of street crime otherwise.
Post by: Gamerlord on February 07, 2014, 03:30:21 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 07, 2014, 10:03:57 am
((Who are we waiting for?))
You, Pancaek and scapheap. You have neglected to actually provide any actions.
Post by: Gamerlord on February 07, 2014, 10:04:49 am
Post by: Toaster on February 07, 2014, 02:20:05 pm
Make sure Halesey has my number. Go home and sleep with the magic book under the pillow.
Post by: Pancaek on February 08, 2014, 11:20:29 am
"Right, let's give her just a few more minutes."
Wait 4 more minutes for her to return, otherwise break into the house and search for the girl
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 09, 2014, 05:55:53 am
Their dreams, of course, are their own, and though one could make certain predictions as to what they might be, it is perhaps best not to speculate on what might be going through either of their heads. After a delightfully nonspecific amount of time, they awaken, finding that it seems to be Sunday now and it is already light outside.
* * * * *
Despite the rather strong indication that the girl won't be coming back, John gives her the benefit of the doubt while Clair and Samuel seem to passively agree, though Samuel does seem to also insist on breathing heavily on the back of John's neck, which John can't help but ponder the implications of. Well into the third minute of waiting and general awkwardness, the window opens up once more, and a different girl, a shorter and somewhat prettier one, leans outside, looking very calm and collected.
"Hey. You guys wanted something, right? Wanna come in?"
Post by: Gamerlord on February 09, 2014, 06:41:58 am
Post by: scapheap on February 09, 2014, 04:08:27 pm
Why yes, we would just love to come in~"...petty much, with less creepiness then that."
Post by: lawastooshort on February 09, 2014, 04:11:06 pm
Post by: Pancaek on February 09, 2014, 04:40:59 pm
Follow the new girl inside
Post by: Toaster on February 09, 2014, 07:23:39 pm
Go back to the pawnshop, hopefully meeting Larry on the way, and finalise the legal stuff. Then we will need a few minutes to think about what to do next. What day is it? I'm fairly sure Larry wants to go to a stripclub.
(Sunday. Probably not till later.)
Meet him and do this.
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 10, 2014, 03:44:15 pm
"Why yes, we would just love to come in~," Samuel says, somehow managing to pronounce a tilde, and doing so with deranged and cannibalistic glee, to boot.
"...petty much, with less creepiness then that," Clair adds, hoping to mitigate the surges of creepiness Samuel produces when he flaps his dip-stained gums.
"Indeed, we would love to enter and have a chat. Have no fear, we'll keep the more creepy member of our group firmly under control," John then swoops in with a timely finisher, establishing both that the three of them are, in fact, a cohesive group with a unified group and that he is somebody who would freely admit to being in charge of Samuel or his actions - one of these facts is obviously more unfortunate than the other, but the girl doesn't seem to mind.
"Sure. I'll unlock the door," the girl says, disappearing back inside. Moments later, the front door slowly swings open and she steps outside, turning to her visitors and smiling softly. "There we go, come right in," she says, ushering the three mysterious individuals in (Samuel in particular needs a bit of aggressive ushering, mostly because he keeps missing the door), then closing the door behind her. She leads the three inside one of the first floor apartments, where the first sight they get to behold is what once may have been a living room - now, though, it is entirely empty of furniture, instead having a crude circle of old mattresses surrounding the faded remains of an improvised campfire. The girl sits down on one such mattress.
"Feel free to sit down. What was it you wanted to ch-oh, sorry. Where have my manners gone? I'm Shauna. Who might you all be?" she asks in a relaxed, friendly manner. John is vaguely aware of the other girl peering nervously from one of the nearby doorframes.
* * * * *
Much later, on a rather sunny Sunday morning only slightly marred by the few straggler dinosaurs still stalking the darker corners of the city, Halesey and Larry confidently march out of their homes, knowing that this may be the day they make it big. Strolling down the streets, past the newsstands hawking low-quality journalism about happenings beyond human ken, past the nervous people heading off to work while trying to shake off the feeling that something terrible and inexplicable may await them on every corner and, most of all, past the several police crews investigating, among other things, mountains of cocaine appearing in the streets and strange creatures made of mops organizing what seem to be fight clubs in darkened alleys, past all that other crap a city has that most citizens either carefully avoid or don't care about, the two men arriving dramatically and nearly simultaneously outside Klein's Pawn Shop on Burton Street. Their eyes meet, and a period of subliminal mental communication begins as they brain intensely at each other.
Larry wonders what might be the best time to visit a strip club, and whether strip clubs do or do not have a happy hour, and also about when he might be getting paid already. Halesey manages to convey the first and second levels of meaning that the concept that mortals simplify as 'potato' holds using nothing but the most subtle means of body language. Larry is slightly frightened by this.
Post by: lawastooshort on February 10, 2014, 04:07:10 pm
I'm beginning to feel more inclined to the second, but I think that the sensible thing to do would be first to secure and explore the power of the leyline, but taking care to eliminate the crap outta any rival assweasels we come across.
What do you reckon, dude? I reckon if we don't grab the understanding of ultimate power first than this whole 'get a folder off a fat dude' thing might turn into some kinda bad Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid remake, except without the love triangle, or the Mexicans. Or, you know, two handsome heart throbs."
Talk thusly as I proceed to the pawn shop. Keep eyes peeled for incidences of possible magic use.
Post by: Toaster on February 10, 2014, 04:28:49 pm
Stroll into pawn shop as well! Contemplate power.
Post by: lawastooshort on February 10, 2014, 04:41:07 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 10, 2014, 04:55:19 pm
He appears to be naked, sitting on a pile of smut with a magazine open, gaping at its contents. He appears to be perfectly still at the moment, and his eyes look wide, glassy and rather dry.
Post by: Toaster on February 10, 2014, 05:04:03 pm
Post by: Pancaek on February 10, 2014, 05:08:11 pm
Post by: Pancaek on February 10, 2014, 05:10:04 pm
Post by: Gamerlord on February 10, 2014, 09:46:57 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on February 11, 2014, 02:23:40 am
Post by: Toaster on February 11, 2014, 08:45:20 am
Poke him with a stick or a stick equivalent. Broom, mop, whatever. Not the musket.
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 11, 2014, 10:33:31 am
"Enchanté. My name is John. Might I enquire about the name of your friend who is peering at us from the doorway? I believe we-" He glances over at Samuel "-may have somewhat scared her off when we spoke earlier."
"Oh, that's just Raven. She's a bit cagey, you know. By the way, want to see something hilarious?"
"My name is Sammy Sammy Samuel!"
"You sound like a fun guy, Mr. Sammy Sammy Samuel."
Post by: Gamerlord on February 11, 2014, 10:35:40 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 11, 2014, 10:59:59 am
Stand back.
Post by: Pancaek on February 11, 2014, 11:10:19 am
"Oh, that's just Raven. She's a bit cagey, you know. By the way, want to see something hilarious?"
"No, that's quite fine, thanks for offering. We're here to look up on you two and two others. Trey and Luz, if I remember correctly. People have been quite worried about your little...dissapearance. Where are Trey and Luz, if I might ask?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 11, 2014, 11:25:30 am
"No, that's quite fine, thanks for offering. We're here to look up on you two and two others. Trey and Luz, if I remember correctly. People have been quite worried about your little...dissapearance. Where are Trey and Luz, if I might ask?"
"Those two are around here someplace, I guess. But come on, you just have to see what I can do. It's the most amazing spell ever! You'll be in no danger! C'mon!"
Post by: Pancaek on February 11, 2014, 11:32:52 am
"Maybe in a bit. What are you guys even doing here, anyway? And before you go and turn Samuel into a glowing peach, why don't you tell me the name of this 'great spell' first?""No, that's quite fine, thanks for offering. We're here to look up on you two and two others. Trey and Luz, if I remember correctly. People have been quite worried about your little...dissapearance. Where are Trey and Luz, if I might ask?"
"Those two are around here someplace, I guess. But come on, you just have to see what I can do. It's the most amazing spell ever! You'll be in no danger! C'mon!"
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 11, 2014, 11:39:06 am
"Maybe in a bit. What are you guys even doing here, anyway? And before you go and turn Samuel into a glowing peach, why don't you tell me the name of this 'great spell' first?"
"But that'd spoil it! How about I tell you that you three won't be involved in it in any way? I just need to get this poster I've got in the other room and I'll come back and demonstrate. C'mon. It'll be the most incredible thing ever, I swear," Shauna pleads, crossing her heart and raising her right arm when she swears.
Post by: Pancaek on February 11, 2014, 02:15:58 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 12, 2014, 12:55:43 pm
"Think he wanked himself to death?"
Halesey stares at him for a moment before beginning to formulate thoughts of his own. "I... Er... So, do we rob him? Perhaps we should call an ambulance... I don't really know first aid and don't really wanna touch the naked dude..."
"Let's poke him with a stick," Larry suggests. This is a measure Halesey finds acceptable.
"Er, yeah? Okay. You do it," he says, taking a big step away from the naked pawnbroker. While he braces, steels and otherwise prepares himself, Larry retrieves a broom and tries his ingenious plan of poking the insensible man. He pokes Klein in the back, then in the chest, then in the shoulder, finally tapping the handle against his head - he definitely doesn't seem very dead, judging by the way he appears to be shrinking away from the cold aluminum of the handle. After a few more pokes, he approaches a state close enough to mental coherency for purposes of dialogue.
"Uh... what? What's going on? Why am I naked?" Klein asks, seemingly snapping out of whatever state he was in.
* * * * *
John perhaps unwisely lets himself be talked into seeing 'the most incredible thing ever'.
"Oh very well, if you really can't contain yourself. But I expect to hear what you've all been doing here afterwards. Also, try and see if you can't call the others here while you get your poster, would you kindly?"
Shauna laughs while exuding a strange sense of peace. "Can't call the other two over, sorry. I suspect they're, er, heh-heh, getting busy, if you know what I mean. Wait right here," she says, then disappears into the next room for a few seconds, immediately returning with a rather large rolled-up poster. Giggling, she unfurls the poster.
Rather interestingly, it seems to be a picture of Adolf Hitler, looking very serious and Hitlery as he is typically known to do in these old pictures.
"'Kay, watch this," the girl says, then snaps her fingers at the picture, and the people in the room feel a shiver pass over their bodies as the picture suddenly seems quite different - for one, the fuhrer seems to be smiling, and is now dressed like a man vacationing on a beach in the thirties rather than decked out in his standard uniform. His mustache seems to be gone, replaced by a well-trimmed goatee, and his hair has changed to look less shiny and orderly and more trustworthy and slightly messy. And finally, he now seems to be looking straight at whoever is looking at the poster. What's more, his eyes and general expression seem to radiate genuine kindness. After the others take in the transformation's full effect, Shauna, seemingly unable to control herself, begins to guffaw rather wildly and unexpectedly.
"Tell me that's not the most amazing spell you've ever seen!" she eventually exclaims after she has to briefly stop laughing in order to breathe.
Post by: Gamerlord on February 12, 2014, 01:01:15 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on February 12, 2014, 02:25:42 pm
Post by: Pancaek on February 12, 2014, 03:44:07 pm
"What?"
Post by: lawastooshort on February 12, 2014, 05:45:49 pm
a boathing suit
Is this some kind of specially adapted swimming costume so one can pilot a boat in practical yet revealing clothing?
Rather horrifying given the context.
Post by: Toaster on February 12, 2014, 06:03:19 pm
"Fucked if I know, bro. You're the one with no pants. But hey, clearly you think the material is high-class- see why I say it's worth more?"
Post by: lawastooshort on February 13, 2014, 04:32:41 am
"Fucked if I know, bro. You're the one with no pants. But hey, clearly you think the material is high-class- see why I say it's worth more?"
Ooh, nice move. I 30 second-photoshopped a hitler in a boathing suit, but it was horrifying so I deleted it, went to bed, and had nightmares all night. It was a bit Speedostalinish but less pelvic thrusty.
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 13, 2014, 06:27:06 am
What.
The führer, scourge of europe and one of the vilest men in history, was now wearing a boathing suit and a goatee. John couldn't believe this, he was outraged and furious. He could not comprehend what had just happened and was determined to state these feelings inside of him in the most eloquent way possible.
"What?"
"I have to say, I was a little skeptical about a spell called 'Goodify German' at first, but, as you can see, it is definitely not something to scoff at, eh?" she says, tapping her index finger at Hitler's new kind, open and accessible visage.
* * * * *
"Er, dude, you might be the best person to ask that. We just walked in fully dressed to see if the lawyers had sorted out the paperwork - you're the publicly naked one in all this... I mean, I know it's your own premises and all, but it's not really your house and your kinda left the door unlocked... Look, pop some clothes on and we'll not talk of this again, eh?"
You could say wearing that you could do... both.
"Fucked if I know, bro. You're the one with no pants. But hey, clearly you think the material is high-class- see why I say it's worth more?"
"Ah," Klein says, getting up and inspecting the pile of magazines he was sitting on - they look clean, surprisingly enough. After scratching his chin a moment, he speaks again.
"I'm starting to remember what happened here. The magazines. Something's definitely up with them. I found this really disgusting one that had its centerfold stapled shut and was plastered with all sorts of dire warnings. And then I got... hypnotized by a different one. I suspect these aren't safe to actually sell, guys."
Post by: Gamerlord on February 13, 2014, 06:42:07 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 13, 2014, 07:45:45 am
Halesey tries to not become irate.
Post by: Pancaek on February 13, 2014, 07:47:16 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 13, 2014, 08:09:01 am
This... this must be scientifically studied. WE MUST FIND MORE GERMANS.
"Exactly. I was thinking of going over to the German Embassy, maybe I could find some there, you know, but I don't think they'd let me in and even if they did, I'm not sure they'd let me back out after I was done, you know?"
"No way dude, they're safe - they're divine, that means good, right? Right? We had a contract, man! You just sell 'em as the best gentleman's literature ever no returns or something! And who's gonna believe some dude who comes in and tries to return a magazine because it fecking hypnotised him, eh? Eh? That ain't gonna hold up in a court of law or even just in common sense, dude! As if a magazine would hypnotise you, unless you're some kind of mentalist nutjob!"
Halesey tries to not become irate.
"Well, what I'm saying is that I probably could sell them off once, but I might get into trouble over it with whoever they've probably got investigating the nonsense that's been happening. I'm sure somebody will know to point people my way if they start to ask questions. So, I don't think the wholesale strategy is going to work. Maybe I could sell it as some kind of specialty thing, but I definitely can't start distributing this stuff, obviously weird as it is. I can't really explain it, but one of the magazines I read - had some kind of war goddess in it, it made me feel like I had to kill something right then and there. I'm a bit fuzzy on what happened afterwards, though I'm sure I would remember if I actually offed somebody."
"Well, that certainly was different. So, now that we've indulged you in your request, I'd like you to answer my question. Why exactly have come here and gone of the grid like you did?"
"Because of magic. Once you get it, nothing's really the same. Suddenly, everything you once did has new, way cooler alternatives. You can go to school, hang out with friends and live the life you used to, sure, but you can also spontaneously materialize things, research magic, commune with mysterious forces and seek ultimate power. Suddenly, all that normal stuff becomes... irrelevant, to put it mildly."
Post by: Gamerlord on February 13, 2014, 08:54:43 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 13, 2014, 09:02:20 am
Post by: Pancaek on February 13, 2014, 09:04:20 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 13, 2014, 09:16:42 am
"Shut up, samuel, you're not exactly helping here. I understand your fascination with your new found powers, but you are aware that you're going about this the wrong way, right? Let's not even get into what distress you're causing the people who love you. You talk about communicating with other beings and getting ultimate powers, but right now you're attracting attantion to yourself by running from home. Sooner or later, the police are going to get involved in this, and when they learn of your powers you'll be used as lab rats and disposed of. You're already trying to go all out and all you can do is goodify german people. I mean, shit, you look like a smart girl, at least try and be a bit subtle about it all. Because right now, you're well on your way to scaring some poor police officer who will shoot you dead out of panic. "
"That's a... pretty reasonable point, I guess. I doubt anybody's going to involve the cops, though. This is the Lower Esplanade, after all. It'd have to be a pretty bad day for you to see a cop in this area, and last I checked, none of us missing kids are popular and white, so that's two strikes against the law intervening already. Add Mr. Lee being involved, and police are straight out. But yeah, pissing off Mr. Lee probably isn't that good of an idea, especially now that we know he cares enough to send people after us. By the way, are you guys magicked up?"
"Damn," says Halesey, unirately. "That sounds disappointingly reasonable. Well. Problem is, we kind of need to get 50 grand for interior decorating - like, paint, soft furnishings, that kinda thing, and, um, well - since I first looked at the gentleman's literature, I can't even remember if I have a job. I unstapled the centrefold. So, y'know, we can't work out what to do except sell this amazing stuff."
"Sorry that I can't help you with this, then. A lot of it is pretty good stuff. I could pay you 10 bucks for the issue with the muses, if that helps."
Post by: Gamerlord on February 13, 2014, 09:54:10 am
Post by: Toaster on February 13, 2014, 10:36:02 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 13, 2014, 10:59:06 am
Halesey turns to Larry, careful not to be heard by the non-magician.
"So... perhaps we need a more vortex-centred way of getting cash? Or we could try some other bookstores. Maybe ones that won't get naked straight away. Damnit man, I thought we were getting like ultimate power or something, not setting up a market stall. Shit."
Post by: Toaster on February 13, 2014, 11:10:06 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 13, 2014, 11:15:09 am
Post by: Toaster on February 13, 2014, 11:56:44 am
Larry made an unpleasant face.
"...Fine. Let's take his money and our porn and get out of here."
Do so.
Post by: lawastooshort on February 13, 2014, 02:32:43 pm
Approach folks in the street offering them gentleman's literature at a good price. Knock door to door if we can't find anyone.
Post by: Pancaek on February 13, 2014, 02:43:27 pm
Yes we are!"indeed we are. With varying usefulness, I'm afraid."
Post by: Nunzillor on February 13, 2014, 02:49:18 pm
If you're in England, you'd probably be okay.
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 13, 2014, 02:56:57 pm
What country does this game take place in?
A version of Eagleland done by a person who's never actually been there and which thus runs mostly on GM guesswork and is probably more like Eastern Europe in most ways.
Post by: Toaster on February 13, 2014, 05:58:28 pm
"Yeah, sure. The plan has strippers so it must be good."
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 14, 2014, 11:37:17 am
Yes we are!
"indeed we are. With varying usefulness, I'm afraid."
"That's pretty troubling, him giving you magic and then sending you out to get us. Ah well. Guess I'll go home then, at least - I think you'll need to make some more convincing arguments to get Luz and Trey to go back, though. They think they're in love or whatever. You know how it goes."
* * * * *
Things grow tense at the pawn shop as Larry and Halesey come to terms with the fact that they aren't getting any money yet.
"We could sell you potatoes?' says Larry in annoyance. Halesey, however, doesn't quite agree with this.
"I'd probably offer the potatoes for free if two lawyers didn't know we'd been here. Hmm. Ten bucks is probably a deal, if you give us enough bags to take the rest away too."
"Yeah, sure. I'll get you some bags. And I'll pass on the potatoes," Klein says and goes to look for something to pack all the mags in. He seems to have forgotten that he is currently naked. While he's busy, Larry and Halesey discuss their plans a bit, and manage to agree on taking a more direct sales approach. When Klein returns, their plan is all worked out, and it even includes strippers! Happy day! Klein, though, has some bad news. He is also still nude.
"Well, I do have a bunch of trash bags, but I doubt you guys will be able to fit all of the mags in there. I could keep them around here unless you mind. Not gonna touch them, obviously."
Post by: lawastooshort on February 14, 2014, 01:19:25 pm
Head out into the street with the stash and try to sell some to the first man we find.
Post by: Nunzillor on February 15, 2014, 12:44:29 am
Post by: Toaster on February 15, 2014, 07:41:17 pm
Accost random stranger with porn.
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 16, 2014, 03:27:18 am
"Er, yeah, I guess that's okay. We'll come back for the rest when we've sold these then. Cheers dude. Larry, let's go sell some magazines in the street or something. Hey, pawnshop dude - you can keep that one for free if you open up the stapled centrefold and tell me what's on it?"
Klein tilts his head and makes a doubtful face.
"I'd rather not risk it. Who knows what could happen?"
Ah well, guess he could show that thing to somebody else anyway. Grabbing a bag o' smut, Halesey and his loyal confederate Larry head out to seek a market for this amazing stuff they've got. Midway through, Larry seems to realize a flaw in the plan.
"Oh yeah, this'll work. Just be all HEY WHO WANTS TO BUY OUR USED PORNO? Let's ask that dude," he says, walking up to a tall, muscular man in a business suit with a suitcase, rather thick-framed glasses and a suspiciously fashionable haircut.
"Hey buddy, wanna buy a bag of god porn? Craziest shit you'll ever see, made some other guy forget all about pants forever!"
The man stares at him quizzically for what feels like a rather long time. His eyes dart one way, then the other, then settle back on Larry. His mouth stretches into a grin equal parts toothy and skeevy.
"Do I ever! Shucks, man! What've you got, and how much?"
Post by: lawastooshort on February 16, 2014, 04:21:24 am
Halesey turns back to the grinning pervert.
"Dude, check this out. Just a sample, man."
Unveil the stapled centrefold at the man's eyes. If he tries anything funny except giving us cash, musical garbage blast him in the face.
Post by: scapheap on February 16, 2014, 09:39:02 am
Spoiler: Clair Malk (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on February 16, 2014, 09:46:07 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 16, 2014, 02:24:12 pm
"Any idea on where they would go?"
"You said you thought Luz and Trey were being...intimate right now, right? Any idea in what room they are? Because really, the faster we get you guys back, the better this will be for all of us."
"Second floor, I guess? I think they usually slink into a dark corner there someplace when they're feeling frisky. I try not to investigate these things too thoroughly," Shauna tells you, before suddenly having an idea. "Oh, by the way, can you guys give me your numbers? I'm thinking it'd be good for us wizards to keep in touch, yeah?"
Post by: Toaster on February 17, 2014, 09:39:23 am
Let Halesey do his thing.
Post by: Gamerlord on February 17, 2014, 09:44:11 am
((In which I decide; "You know what? Fuck the 4th wall."))
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 17, 2014, 11:25:33 am
"Dude, this guy's hair is totally suspicious, man. We should show him the stapled centrefold. Or potato him. 'Cept it's a bit close for that, so maybe just blast him in the face with musical garbage to soften him up as part two of the sales pitch..." he says, reckoning wildly. Larry seems amiable toward the idea.
"You've got a real potato boner, man. Maybe we could find you some potato porn too."
Well, he doesn't say it's not a good idea, anyhow. So Halesey just turns over to the grinning guy after finding the magazine with the stapled centerfold. The warnings on it do seem to be numerous, and the title of the thing seems to be 'Seraph Reveals All!'
"Dude, check this out. Just a sample, man."
"Color me intrigued, good sir!"
Thus having gotten the man's attention, Halesey opens up the centerfold right at him. There is a brief moment of strange cognizance in his eyes and his jaw drops, his mouth hanging open as he gapes at the mystical sight within the magazine. This gaping lasts for no more than a fraction of a second, and is immediately followed by the man suddenly combusting, pure white tongues of extremely hot flame shooting out of his body toward the skies. Within seconds, all of his flesh has burned, no, evaporated off his body, leaving but a charred skeleton behind that stands still for a moment before crumbling to dust from a small gust of wing. For some reason, Halesey feels an odd reverence flow into him from the sight, which lasts for a whole second before he notices that the magazine seems to have caught fire as well, reflexively dropping it when it starts to burn his hand. By the time he comes to his senses, the thing has become a bit too charred to be resold.
Post by: Toaster on February 17, 2014, 12:02:45 pm
Book it with the books.
Post by: lawastooshort on February 17, 2014, 12:06:41 pm
Follow Larry in fleeing and try to find another potential and more trust-worthy-looking customer.
Post by: Nunzillor on February 17, 2014, 01:53:45 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 17, 2014, 02:14:27 pm
"You killed him, dumbass! Let's get the hell out of here!"
Halesey somewhat agrees with this idea.
"Shit. What a way to go. Whoops. Wonder if there's any more of them," he ponders as Larry hefts the large bag o' smut and they both cheese it like there's no tomorrow. While Larry seems mostly concerned with getting far enough to maintain plausible deniability, Halesey is more business-minded than that, and looks for other customers. Clearly there have to be more people around, right? The two of them run through the streets right up until the moment they both run into something very unusual. Well, they almost run into it, anyway.
The first thing they both notice about it is that it appears to be humanoid. It takes a second for them to realize what's unusual about that - the fact that common pigeons aren't really known to aggregate into shapes like that, and yet they seem to have done exactly that. The two men can say with quite a bit of certainty that a three meter tall man made of pigeons was not something they expected to see on the street. It's particularly surreal when it turns to them and speaks with the voice of a thousand birds.
"Fancy meeting you here! Wonderful weather we're having, no?"
Post by: lawastooshort on February 17, 2014, 03:13:01 pm
If the pigeongolem gets all aggressive then cast Wall of Pigeons in it and flee like the wind. Otherwise attempt to sell it gentleman's literature.
((we need a new plan I think))
Spoiler: Halesey the Fiendish Potato Mage (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on February 17, 2014, 03:31:48 pm
Watch the fireworks
Post by: lawastooshort on February 17, 2014, 03:59:34 pm
Post by: Pancaek on February 18, 2014, 01:15:07 pm
By the way, I trust that we've convinced you to return. And I'm planning on speaking to the lovebirds, but what about Raven? Think she'll follow your example?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 18, 2014, 02:48:51 pm
"Er, yeah, pretty good. Want some porn?" he asks instead, and the creature laughs pigeonly, which Halesey had not recognized as an adverb until the otherwise indescribable laugh hit him just now.
"Why, yes, your pornography does indeed interest me greatly," the creature says, about a millisecond's delay between its laugh and perfectly calm subsequent speech. This raises questions in Larry's head, who isn't sure they've got what he's looking for, and questions Halesey accordingly.
"Do we even have pigeon porn?"
"This is universal porn, dude. You saw what it did to the suspicious-looking dude. Even broke through the barrier of looking suspicious, being a ten foot tall pigeon's nothing. Anyhow, there's probably some erotic pigeon god or something and if there is he or she is probably in some hidden centrefold somewhere here..." Halesey replies, assuaging an uncertain amount of Larry's concerns. He then proceeds to give some porn to the pigeon-creature, who begins to leaf through it.
"What a very interesting set of artifacts you have," the creature says after a minute of appraisal. "I shall buy them all for the generous price of two soulcoins, one for each of you for being such fine examples of mortal enterprise," it continues, producing two solid black disks from some crevice in its strange and alien body.
* * * * *
"Yeah, sure, you can have my number. Also, do you happen to have a bucket or some other kind of container and running water in here? I really need to speak to the lovebirds, and I don't like waiting.
By the way, I trust that we've convinced you to return. And I'm planning on speaking to the lovebirds, but what about Raven? Think she'll follow your example?"
"We don't have running water, sorry. We do have a bucket to do our business in, so to speak. You might not want to use that, though. As for Raven, I think she's mentally jumping for joy right now. She's only really here because of me."
"Uhm, not only because of-" Raven interjects, sounding unsure of herself.
"You hate Luz and Trey. Don't pretend like you don't. It's okay. I'm not really that into them, either. Luz has got good spells, though."
"Well, uh... yeah," the girl admits meekly.
Post by: Toaster on February 18, 2014, 02:57:14 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 18, 2014, 03:14:42 pm
"What's a soulcoin in dollars? We speak American here, dammit."
"It does not really have a value in your silly currency, obviously. Though very much like said currency, its value depends on what you do with it. It is redeemable for demonic favors, you see. A substitute for souls, in a way. Many people would kill for these. Literally."
Post by: lawastooshort on February 18, 2014, 03:37:56 pm
Post by: Toaster on February 18, 2014, 04:01:11 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 18, 2014, 04:06:48 pm
"Holy crap. Well, I'll give you half of them for one, sure. What are you going to do with them?"
"You should know better than to ask that of somebody who buys pornography. And I do insist you give me all of them for two. You will not get a better deal elsewhere, I assure you."
"Uhh... sure. I can swap for that. I won't ask where you got them."
"There, he has the right idea in mostly every way. If only all mortals were so reasonable."
Post by: Toaster on February 18, 2014, 04:13:41 pm
Take the offer. Don't ask questions.
Post by: lawastooshort on February 18, 2014, 05:12:25 pm
Also accept.
Post by: Pancaek on February 19, 2014, 12:19:52 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 19, 2014, 02:14:52 pm
"Okay, let's do it. Uh... enjoy."
"Er, sorry man, that didn't come out right. I just wondered if you had a buyer, really. Anyway, yeah, I accept, with no questions."
"That is perfection itself," the creature says, taking the bag and pushing it into its torso, letting it disappear within the mass of pigeons. It then hands each of the friendly neighborhood smut salesmen one of the black disks. "A pleasure doing business with you, gentlemen," it then says. Its body begins to rustle, and then the pigeons that make it up rapidly begin flying away, and in moments nothing is left of the creature, the pigeons having scattered every which way.
* * * * *
"Good spells you say? Do you know exactly what kind of spells he has? Would you consider Luz dangerous?"
"Trey's a bit dangerous, I guess, but he's shit at magic. Luz is way better at it, but her spells are mostly of the useful rather than awesomely lethal variety."
Post by: lawastooshort on February 19, 2014, 02:20:46 pm
Post by: Toaster on February 19, 2014, 02:49:48 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on February 19, 2014, 04:37:57 pm
Go back to the pawn shop for more magazines. If the dude's trousers are somewhere about try to swap them for my itchy trousers while he isn't looking.
Post by: Toaster on February 19, 2014, 11:12:03 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on February 20, 2014, 04:31:52 am
Yep
((Pretty awesome 1000th reply dude!))
Post by: Toaster on February 20, 2014, 08:49:52 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 20, 2014, 09:10:11 am
"Shit, man, that must've been a pigeondemon or something. We got off lightly, I reckon. What now? Wanna vomit up some more filth? Don't know if we got enough money for the strip club..."
"Why not just go bag up more from the shop?"
"Oh yeah. Why not."
Having reached an easy decision, the two mosey on back to the pawn shop, where Klein appears to still be naked - while Larry gets another bag o' smut, Halesey opts to seek Klein's missing trousers - remarkably, they seem to be on one of the top shelves of the shop, so, while Klein isn't looking, Halesey tries to swap his itchy ones for the much nicer, if slightly used ones.
[Halesey's finesse roll: 4]
Fortunately, Klein seems to be conveniently rearranging one of his shelves, so Halesey swipes the pants and puts them on - they're a bit small, but he's worn worse and they don't itch at all, at least. Feeling obligated to provide something in return, he puts his former trousers on the shelf so that Klein isn't left completely trouserless in this cold, dark and unfriendly world.
Post by: Toaster on February 20, 2014, 09:41:51 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 20, 2014, 09:48:40 am
"Er. You bastard, dude. That was the high point of my day, man, and you just ruined it. He wasn't even wearing 'em anymore anyway. Let's go, man! Let's sell some porn!"
Do the above! Wander the streets again looking for a buyer. Approach first person we see who isn't a cop. If we happen to see criminals, potato vortext them!
Spoiler: Halesey the Fiendish Potato Mage (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on February 20, 2014, 10:03:18 am
Assist! Except use my mushroom-based vortex!
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 21, 2014, 05:05:48 pm
"Dude, you don't know what he's done in those."
Halesey doesn't feel quite as good anymore, it goes without saying.
"Er. You bastard, dude. That was the high point of my day, man, and you just ruined it. He wasn't even wearing 'em anymore anyway. Let's go, man! Let's sell some porn!"
"Just watch out for stains, bro."
They head out immediately, porn in hand, looking for people who seem like prospective buyers and who also don't look like cops. Fortunately, one such individual, a smoking woman slowly approaching middle age and sporting a bright red mohawk as well wearing an awful lot of leather, seems to be sitting at a nice, secluded bus stop, probably waiting for a bus that may or may not be coming. Halesey and Larry approach her, hoping that she might want some of their product or at least knows some people who might. As they shuffle closer, the woman raises her eyes. She looks a little drunk.
"What do you guys want?" she asks after a moment of silence.
Post by: Toaster on February 21, 2014, 11:23:42 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on February 22, 2014, 02:10:51 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 22, 2014, 04:28:19 am
"Er, we're just regular honest door to door adult literature salesmen, ma'am, and we wondered whether you might like some? Adult literature. To purchase. We offer very affordable rates and everything. Peruse before you d- er buy, and all that."
"What kind of adult literature are we talking here? Show me."
Post by: lawastooshort on February 22, 2014, 10:28:17 am
Post by: Pancaek on February 22, 2014, 10:34:13 am
Go find Trey and Luz, hope they aren't 'busy'
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 22, 2014, 11:25:34 am
The lady, to put it mildly, does not see it coming, and she is immediately incinerated very much like the man before, leaving a hot, molten depression in the bus stop seat and a pile of ash. This time, though, Halesey is ready, and draws his hand back from the fiery scene of destruction, which results in the magazine coming out of the ordeal completely unharmed. It seems to actually be the exact same magazine as before, too!
* * * * *
John decides that he'll go see those two crazy kids, find out what they're up to - he hopes that it's nothing too serious. However, as he searches the second floor of the house, he finds nobody in plain sight, though there is a locked door up there. John wonders how subtle he should be trying to be here.
Post by: lawastooshort on February 22, 2014, 02:05:00 pm
Casually flee. Carefully fold away the destructoporn for quick draw access in case of emergency. Consider options. Observe potential buyers in new location.
"Er. I hope that pigeondevil didn't get too much of that particular issue. Crap. As long as we don't look at this stuff the options are endless... Or get caught porncinerating innocents. Crappants."
Edit: spelling.
Post by: Toaster on February 22, 2014, 10:13:46 pm
He pants as he runs from this scene as well. He doesn't like running.
"Hell, it might better if that demon thing does get incinerated. Unless he wants to buy more."
GTFO. Assess.
((Har har. You just can't resist casual arson, can you?
EDIT: Also this is relevant (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porno_for_Pyros). (Despite the name, content is work safe) ))
Post by: Nunzillor on February 23, 2014, 03:54:27 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 23, 2014, 06:15:27 am
((totally thought your action was "asses"))
Post by: Pancaek on February 23, 2014, 07:05:55 am
"HEY KIDS, ARE YOU IN THERE, WE NEED TO TALK, MISTER LEE SEND ME"
slam fist on door, shout the above
Post by: Toaster on February 23, 2014, 11:36:10 am
"I thought it'd be a different one, man! How's I to know you spumed up a thousand copies of the same double page deathcrotch?! We'll be lucky if the pawn shop isn't burnt down next time we wanna stock up..."
"Why don't you look yourself next time?"
Post by: lawastooshort on February 23, 2014, 12:00:08 pm
Post by: Toaster on February 23, 2014, 12:18:13 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 23, 2014, 03:28:55 pm
"Holy shit. Let's get out of here too. Bet she didn't see that coming, so to speak."
"You fucking dumbass! Why'd you centerfold someone else?!" Larry asks, dissatisfied with the way this marketing scheme they've got seems to leave two out of two people and zero out of one demons dead.
"I thought it'd be a different one, man! How's I to know you spumed up a thousand copies of the same double page deathcrotch?! We'll be lucky if the pawn shop isn't burnt down next time we wanna stock up..."
"Er, cos the last two people to see the damned thing got burnt to a white hot porncrisp? Dur."
After Larry gives him a baleful glare, Halesey thinks it prudent to flee - with the way the streets around here seem mostly empty, that's not too difficult to do without attracting any attention. Larry, naturally, follows, and the two casually jog away.
After about ten minutes of putting distance between themselves and yet another porncinerated innocent, Halesey has a thought.
"Er. I hope that pigeondevil didn't get too much of that particular issue. Crap. As long as we don't look at this stuff the options are endless... Or get caught porncinerating innocents. Crappants."
"Hell, it might better if that demon thing does get incinerated. Unless he wants to buy more," Larry replies, both peeved and panting from all the mandatory cardio he's been doing since becoming a divine pornography purveyor. Without answering, Halesey takes a look around this new place they've found themselves in - looks like they've actually run quite a distance, as they're now next to one of the freeways. Development's pretty sparse around these parts, though Halesey does spy a very seedy-looking truck stop across the road. Judging by the amount of trucks parked outside, there may be quite the market awaiting his private enterprise within.
* * * * *
This is a situation that will require subtlety, tact and understanding, John thinks, and then immediately starts slamming his fist into the door and shouting like a crazed Brazilian plumber on a mission.
"HEY KIDS, ARE YOU IN THERE, WE NEED TO TALK, MISTER LEE SEND ME!"
There is a sound of rapid, panicked movement within the room, then a very audible bump followed by a low-pitched moan of pain. Judging by the rustling within, that got somebody mighty rattled right there.
Post by: lawastooshort on February 23, 2014, 03:40:18 pm
Make sure the deathsmut is secure but accessible. Go forth and do private entreprise! Don't willingly hand out anything stapled though.
"Come on dude, I can just smell the money from here, man. I promise I'll try not to accidentally murder anyone this time, okay? And, you know, they might've got better, right?"
Post by: Pancaek on February 23, 2014, 03:53:15 pm
Post by: Toaster on February 23, 2014, 10:25:38 pm
Larry is no stranger to having guns pulled on him, being a 7-11 clerk- not that he'd admit such. Actually, since he had been ignoring his boss trying to reach him on his cell, the last text message he got from him said it all- "You're fired." No matter- magic was now the way of the future.
Privately peddle pornography to domestic dross drivers/distributors.
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 25, 2014, 11:31:13 am
"Come on dude, I can just smell the money from here, man. I promise I'll try not to accidentally murder anyone this time, okay? And, you know, they might've got better, right?" he says, tucking his destructoporn into one of the tighter parts of his new trousers so it doesn't get misplaced or misused.
"Right-o. Let's do this. Just remember that they often have guns, yeah?" Larry agrees while reminding Halesey of the dire, perpetually looming threat of the Second Amendment. Together they walk toward the truck stop and step inside, finding it to be a rather rustic diner that's filled with a sizable, yet not uncomfortable number of people - mostly hairy people wearing flannel and/or t-shirts, but also a single nun in one of the corners of the room, looking a bit nervous, and a man in a rumpled suit messing around with his phone. The place seems very lively, considering what time of day it is. Halesey wonders if stepping on a table and commencing the hawking would be inappropriate.
* * * * *
John keeps shouting very persuasively at the door - wouldn't want anybody to suspect he wasn't serious, obviously.
"THERE IS NO NEED TO PANIC, SHAUNA AND RAVEN LET ME IN. WE REALLY NEED TO TALK THOUGH, SO DO YOU WANT ME TO COME IN OR SHALL I WAIT DOWNSTAIRS?"
"They did what?" comes a cry from within the room, and seems like it would have been followed by some more choice words, but a sudden shushing interrupts them. A few moments pass, and John can hear a faint whisper or two.
"Er... wait downstairs, please!" the voice, who John presumes to be Luz, says after a period of deliberation.
Post by: Pancaek on February 25, 2014, 12:40:52 pm
Go wait downstairs for the two lovebirds
Post by: lawastooshort on February 25, 2014, 04:44:26 pm
Approach a likely looking table - try to ensure it is not the nun. Offer them gentleman's literature. Let them check some out if they must.
Post by: Toaster on February 25, 2014, 08:35:47 pm
Do the same with a different non-nun table.
"Hey dudes, got a great offer for you. Check this shit out!"
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 27, 2014, 06:54:39 am
"Sounded like that went well, huh?" Shauna says before giving the room a quick glance to see if there's anything she may have forgotten. "Anyhow, I think me and Raven will probably be splitting before they come down. Have fun."
And with that, the two girls quickly leave with very full backpacks - John can only guess what they might be carrying in those. Girl stuff, maybe, or drugs and weaponry, or something else teenagers are into these days. After they leave, he waits for the other two to come down. A few minutes pass, and nothing happens. Then a few more. Still no sight or sound of the two kids. Hm.
* * * * *
Halesey and Larry quickly try to work out some kind of strategy here.
"So - we get right up there on the tables like some kind of far out dressed male stripper, or we go and have a quiet word with one table at a time, eh?"
"Sure. You grab a table and I'll grab a different one. We bolt if they pull guns."
Having thus agreed, the two head in different directions and stop at different tables - after double-checking that the nun isn't at either of them, they proceed with the sales pitch.
Halesey, after first greeting the noble patrons of this fine establishment, five in number at this table, and quickly offers them gentlemen's literature - after the drivers ask what sort of smut he's packing, he produces a magazine with a many-armed nude woman on the cover, and lets the truck drivers pass it around - they seem very impressed, and immediately ask how much for a single magazine, and whether he has more like that one.
Larry takes a more informal approach, approaching a table.
"Hey dudes, got a great offer for you. Check this shit out!" he says, pulling a random magazine and handing it to the two men sitting at it. They look through it, and seem disturbed.
"The hell is this?" one of them asks. "There's, like, a ring covered in eyes in here! And I don't even know what the deal with the flesh chair is. Shit's freaky. We don't want any, thanks."
Hm. Must have gotten a dud.
Post by: lawastooshort on February 27, 2014, 08:04:31 am
Sell gentleman's literature! Let them browse half a dozen and offer me over $5 if they want to!
"Here, take a look at the selection. Just... if you see anything stapled down, do NOT open it - nothing illegal, but it's so dirty you're not allowed to actually look at it in public, if you know what I'm saying... Privacy of your own truck cab, boys..."
Post by: Toaster on February 27, 2014, 08:49:49 am
"Uh, wrong one bros, hang on and try this one!"
Actually look at what I'm handing them first, and get them a good-looking one. Avoid anything with staples.
Post by: Pancaek on February 27, 2014, 09:16:42 am
Go pound on that door some more. If I don't get an answer, kick it open.
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 28, 2014, 11:58:33 am
Larry, meanwhile, backpedals right out of the situation he has found himself in.
"Uh, wrong one bros, hang on and try this one!" he says, looking through the nearby bag, finding another mag that actually has something he can identify as women in it. Fetching women, too! He passes it to the two guys, who seem... slightly transfixed by it, not really minding Larry's presence much at all. One of the men appears to be drooling a little.
* * * * *
John briefly curses the kids and moves back upstairs, seeking out the room with the kids in it once more. He pounds on it a few moments. No answer. Okay, now it's time to try the hard way, then.
[John's body roll: 6-->3]
He kicks the door with all his might, and his foot tears a hole through the bottom half of the door. After a few moments spent extricating his foot, John ducks and puts his hand through the hole, unlocking the door from within - inside is a rather dilapidated bathroom that looks to have been vacated in a hurry. The avenue of escape is obvious - an empty window.
Post by: Toaster on February 28, 2014, 12:03:13 pm
See what Drooly is checking out.
Post by: Dorsidwarf on March 01, 2014, 06:59:17 pm
Post by: Pancaek on March 01, 2014, 07:05:13 pm
Look out of the window and shout after them. If the way down/out is safe enough, start pursuit!
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 04, 2014, 01:14:21 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 04, 2014, 02:22:41 pm
((apologies))
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 04, 2014, 03:09:53 pm
Clearly, she wants him dead, Larry thinks. And if that man is not made dead as quickly and messily as possible, Larry fears for his safety. A sense of panic fueled by awe at the sheer intensity of the deity in the mag overtakes him, and his mind briefly goes blank.
[Larry vs. Drooly: 6-1 vs. 6-1]
Without even thinking, he reaches for a fork, intent on jabbing it right through Drooly's impertinent eyesocket - however, the truck drivers in this town clearly are used to this kind of thing happening, as Drooly reflexively jerks his head to the side, looking very confused.
"What the fuck, man? You almost stabbed me in the eye!" he says, getting up from the table immediately.
Halesey, meanwhile, checks if this pagan currency they have here can possibly be enough to buy two beers - the answer is yes, albeit barely - beer seems to be pretty expensive here for some reason. However, rather than ask the rather chubby, mildly homely truck stop lady the meaning behind this strange beverage pricing, he goes in for a different angle, asking if she'd enjoy some literature.
"Golly, I do love literature!" she says. "What do you have, sir?"
* * * * *
John looks out of the window, narrating his thoughts to himself nervously.
"Oh god, I've totally lost them. Mister Lee is going to be... something. Not like I had much help. Godsdamned teenagers, I bet it's the hormones that make them do crazy shit like this."
He shouts a string of very persuasive threats and expletives into the night, but nobody answers except for distant, likely insane and homeless man. Lacking other options, John looks down. Hm. Well, if the two kids with their soft, cartilaginous, hormone-weakened bones could clear this, how could he possibly fail? Onward!
[John's finesse roll: 2+1]
[John's body roll: 2]
As he hangs out of the window and drops a single floor, his legs creak threateningly, and one of his ankles suddenly feels a lot more wobbly and painful than it did. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea.
Post by: Toaster on March 04, 2014, 03:43:02 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 04, 2014, 03:55:27 pm
Larry is used to coming up with excuses quickly, even if they aren't logical or even plausible. They usually get customers off him, at least. "Uh yeah, these damn forks are slippery! Sorry about that, so you interested in buying, yeah?"
"Oh... uh... I dunno. These mags seem kinda fishy to me."
"This one's pretty good, though. Maybe we should buy it?"
"Well... maybe. How much for one?"
Post by: Toaster on March 04, 2014, 03:58:20 pm
"Fifteen bucks each."
He had forgotten how much he needed to raise, anyway.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 04, 2014, 04:02:44 pm
Huh. He hadn't thought that through. What was the going rate for mags at the 7-11 again?
"Fifteen bucks each."
He had forgotten how much he needed to raise, anyway.
"What? Hell no!"
"Yeah, no way we're paying that much for one mag. That's ridiculous."
Post by: Toaster on March 04, 2014, 04:17:55 pm
Post by: Pancaek on March 04, 2014, 04:39:42 pm
Head back to mister Lee's shop. Explain what happened.
Post by: lawastooshort on March 04, 2014, 05:32:54 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 05, 2014, 12:47:07 pm
"This isn't your everyday Juggs, man. Have you ever seen anything like this?"
"I guess not, but I can't say I wanna pay 15 bucks for it," Drooly says, looking very doubtful about the prospect of purchasing such high-priced smut.
"That's twice the price of the beer here, and the beer here is really goddamn expensive!" the other one adds, looking somewhat indignant.
Not too far away, Halesey shows the truck stop lady some of his literature, a random mag he pulled out of his bag - the lady takes it and opens it up, perusing the contents.
"Gosh, sir, this is very interesting!" she says, her eyes widening. "What is this?"
* * * * *
John guesses that a 50% success rate is good enough, considering his current injuries, and decides that he'll just head back to Mr. Lee instead - limping through the streets is certainly not a pleasant or quick affair, but he gets there eventually. Mr. Lee looks surprised.
"Back already? Forget something, maybe? Or are you done?"
John affirms that he is probably done, yes, and relays the happenings of tonight to Mr. Lee. When he gets to the very last part, Mr. Lee's expression, rather cheery up until that point, becomes quite sour indeed.
"You say you two of them ran off? That's no good! They could get into trouble! Go and find them, you hear? Make sure they're safe at the very least!"
He does seem rather alarmed, John thinks.
Post by: lawastooshort on March 05, 2014, 03:10:30 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 05, 2014, 03:13:11 pm
"This is... this is adult literature, written by religious fanatics in a drug-frenzied trance. Say they seen god, they do. Yessir. Just don't open anything stapled. Would you like this one for free? See, we're trying to sell these to raise money to save drug-frenzied religious fanatics and re-habilitate them, but I can tell by the look in your eyes that you're an honest woman - take this one, if you want it."
"Gee, that sure sounds like a noble cause! I think I will take this, thank you very much!"
Post by: Pancaek on March 05, 2014, 03:22:21 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 05, 2014, 03:27:39 pm
"With all due respect. I believe simply being around these kinds is a grave danger itself. The girl and the guy who were with me when you invited us here? They went completely braindead. They're probably still sitting in that dilapetaded house, just...staring...."
"I was wondering where those two kids went! But you need to save the kids! Not the braindead ones, maybe, but the younger ones. They're not ready for a life on the run. Trust me, I would know."
Post by: Pancaek on March 05, 2014, 03:34:47 pm
"I really have no choice in this, do I? But for reals here, if they get violent or if they struggle, I'm leaving them where they are. I'm not about to get myself hurt because they decide to get difficult."
Go track the kids; again
Post by: lawastooshort on March 05, 2014, 04:58:23 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 05, 2014, 05:05:30 pm
"Do you know anyone who might want to buy any?"
"I think Sister Greer over there would be interested," the woman says, pointing at the nun. "She's a woman of God, you know. I think her monastery does something similar to this, actually!"
"I really have no choice in this, do I? But for reals here, if they get violent or if they struggle, I'm leaving them where they are. I'm not about to get myself hurt because they decide to get difficult."
"Remember - think of the children, my man!"
Post by: lawastooshort on March 05, 2014, 05:17:17 pm
Regardless of the barmaid's response to my advances, approach the nun, and try to sell her porn.
"Excuse me, Sister Greer? Miss... the kindly miss at the bar, suggested that, with your charitable work and all, you might be interested in buying some of my literature to help the poor and deranged? Even if you aren't, perhaps you'd like to take some back to your nunnery? You know, to show like your nun colleagues? I'm sorry, I'm not very experienced at talking to nuns."
Show the nun my literature.
Post by: Toaster on March 05, 2014, 07:38:02 pm
"Do you know anyone who might want to buy any?"
"I think Sister Greer over there would be interested," the woman says, pointing at the nun. "She's a woman of God, you know. I think her monastery does something similar to this, actually!"
((We must be in La's priest RTD canon, and that is their convent.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 06, 2014, 10:09:04 am
This goes better than expected, as immediately when he walks over to the door of the dilapidated tenement, it opens up and two teenagers that he can only assume to be Trey and Luz charge out, carrying bags full of stuff with them.
[John's body roll: 4]
[Luz's body roll: 2+1]
[Trey's body roll: 1-->4-1]
They both run right into him, but John remains standing, and Luz stumbles back. Trey, on the other hand, falls awkwardly, hitting his head on the pavement. He looks a bit hurt.
"Shit! You okay, baby?" Luz asks, kneeling down at the beau's form and not paying John any attention..
"I hit my head a little..." Trey says the obvious, rubbing the back of his head while grimacing. "I think I'll be fine," he then says, though does not not get up just yet.
* * * * *
Halesey, having been put on the right path by the bar lady, has an idea.
"Whoa. Awesome. Thanks. Thank you very much. Hey, what's your name? Do you fancy a drink later?"
The woman giggles, placing her hand in front of her mouth shyly.
"Oh, I'm Jenny. And I do think a drink later would be a marvelous idea. At one of those fancy places, maybe! I do love those fancy places, don't you?"
Halesey nods, and then steps over to the nun sitting alone at the table.
"Excuse me, Sister Greer? Miss... the kindly miss at the bar, suggested that, with your charitable work and all, you might be interested in buying some of my literature to help the poor and deranged? Even if you aren't, perhaps you'd like to take some back to your nunnery? You know, to show like your nun colleagues? I'm sorry, I'm not very experienced at talking to nuns."
Sister Greer, a young, pronouncedly gangly and gray-faced woman, looks at Halesey with wide eyes.
"I'm not... really sure I can help... but I will take a look, maybe?"
Having met with agreement on Sister Greer's part, Halesey shows her the gen-lit he's got - she takes a mag doubtfully and begins leafing through it. If she blushes, Halesey certainly can't see it from here.
"This looks... rather filthy, sir. I'm... I'm not sure I'm interested, really."
Larry, meanwhile, continues haggling.
"You don't know a deal when you see one. Ten bucks or I'm off."
The two guys shrug.
"Ten bucks is much more like it, I guess."
"Yeah, ten sounds good. We'll take this one. You got any others like it?
Post by: Toaster on March 06, 2014, 10:29:12 am
He slaps his swag bag on the table.
"Check it. Don't open anything stapled in here, if you know what I mean." He winks.
Post by: Pancaek on March 06, 2014, 05:28:05 pm
Will you go back home? And if not, where will you go? And do try to work with me here, because if you don't mister Lee is going to keep sending me after you forever, and I'm getting rather sick of this."
converse!
Post by: lawastooshort on March 06, 2014, 05:52:23 pm
"Ah, I'm sorry. I must have shown you the one my colleague here likes to put in to make me look bad. He's terribly competitive, you know. Try this issue here - it was written by and for poor deprived young adults, so deranged they believe they are infidels! You must surely take pity. Sometimes they staple pages together in their wild attempts to appear heathenish and crazy, but they mean well."
Then, to the barlady, regardless:
"Ah yes ma'am, Jenny, I do love those fancy places. They're probably one of my favourite types of places, I have to say. Uh, shall I meet you at Chez Ronardo's? At, say 8?"
Based on the drinks prices here, I'm gonna have to sell an awful lot of porn to be able to buy you drinks all evening... But you sure are a very attractive shade of pink...
Post by: wolfchild on March 06, 2014, 06:07:50 pm
1. Why are you here and not someplace else: Because I am intrigued, if this is all showmanship I have wasted a little time, less if I am entertained. If it is true then, well as the song says, "never let a chance go by"
2. What’s your name?: Henrietta Black
3. What color do you identify yourself with? Red but with an orange Highlight like so
4. Describe yourself: I am female, 1 meter and 30 centemeters tall, I am about average in weight for my size. I have Grey eyes and Brown hair
5. What do you like/love/enjoy: I enjoy watching things burn, and a well cooked meal
6. What do you dislike/hate/fear: i Fear being completely alone, with no-one to care about or to care about me.
7. In terms of occult or obscure power and knowledge, who would you like most to resemble (fictional people included): Dannerys Targeryn
THis was my first application, don't know what else I need yet harry
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 06, 2014, 06:27:48 pm
Waitlist please:My sheet
1. I was following the quite obvious evidence as to where the weirdness was coming from.
2. Dave D. Davidson
3. gold
4. Finder of things.
5. Mystery, reason, chaos, and sugar.
6. Not knowing things
7. Harry Dresden
Body: 0
Finesse: 0
Mind: 6
Affinity: 0
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 07, 2014, 12:45:11 am
THis was my first application, don't know what else I need yet harry
You need stats. 6 points allocated to Body, Finesse, Mind and Affinity. See TFN's sheet above.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 07, 2014, 01:20:29 pm
"I haven't sorted them, but yeah there's more in here," he says, presenting his customers with the full breadth and depth of his divine selection - the table's plastic surface bends a little when it is contacted by the weight of the bag.
"Check it. Don't open anything stapled in here, if you know what I mean," he winks knowingly as the two guys begin searching through the bag. One of them seems to have better luck than the other - he finds a whole two magazines to his liking, it seems, while the other one finds none at all, though seems to agree with his friend's positive assessment of the merchandise.
"Okay, so we'll take three for thirty," says one of them while they scratch up the requisite cash. "Sound good?"
Halesey, on the other side of the room and currently in the possession of another bag of smut (a strange circumstance, considering that the two porn salesmen only seemed to have one between them previously), tries to persuade Sister Greer to give his collection a chance.
"Ah, I'm sorry. I must have shown you the one my colleague here likes to put in to make me look bad. He's terribly competitive, you know. Try this issue here - it was written by and for poor deprived young adults, so deranged they believe they are infidels! You must surely take pity. Sometimes they staple pages together in their wild attempts to appear heathenish and crazy, but they mean well," he says, handing the nun a different issue. She hesitantly takes it after giving back the previous one, not really saying anything else, and looks through it.
"My," she says after a moment, blushing slightly. "There does seem to be... something about this literature. More than meets the eye, so to speak. Hm..." she then mentions, looking at the magazine very carefully. Halesey decides that this would be a good time to get back to Jenny.
"Ah yes, ma'am, Jenny, I do love those fancy places. They're probably one of my favourite types of places, I have to say. Uh, shall I meet you at Chez Ronardo's? At, say, 8?" he asks suavely.
"It's a date, sir!" Jenny says enthusiastically. Halesey then returns to the nun, who seems to have finished her quick look.
"I do believe that my sisters at the monastery should see this," she says. "Would you mind coming with me now, sir? I dare say it might be very important," she says, getting up from her seat. She's at least a full head taller than him, Halesey notices.
* * * * *
John is pretty happy about this spot o' luck, and moves to take advantage of it immediately.
"Aha, found you after all. So, I went to mister Lee saying I was gonna let you go, but he wouldn't hear of it. So don't get all huffy at me, I'm not exactly here because I enjoy bothering you. Now, I have to know some things. Will you go back home? And if not, where will you go? And do try to work with me here, because if you don't mister Lee is going to keep sending me after you forever, and I'm getting rather sick of this."
Luz turns to him, looking rather fearful suddenly.
"Shit, you again! Can't you just leave us alone? We're gonna leave town, okay? Anyway, what right does Mr. Lee have to tell us what to do? We're getting out of here, and that's that! No more of this fucking place, you hear me?"
"Yeah, that's our plan in a nutshell, pretty much."
Post by: Toaster on March 07, 2014, 01:29:29 pm
Collect the money, then check on Halesey.
"Having any luck? I am."
Post by: lawastooshort on March 07, 2014, 03:53:59 pm
Post by: Toaster on March 07, 2014, 03:56:42 pm
He looks at the nun.
"So she's gonna buy some stuff? Good stuff."
Also follow along.
Post by: lawastooshort on March 07, 2014, 04:00:19 pm
Post by: Toaster on March 07, 2014, 04:02:38 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 07, 2014, 04:15:34 pm
Post by: Toaster on March 07, 2014, 04:16:37 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 07, 2014, 05:24:03 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 08, 2014, 08:09:12 am
The walk along the freeway does not take overly long until they come to a small dirt road branching off from it into the woods.
"It's this way, follow me, good sirs," Sister Greer says, going down the road. As the two wizards follow, they get a bad feeling in their bones - fortunately, it passes quickly enough for it to be hardly bothersome, and the monastery is not too far off, anyway - it looks to be located in the sort of building that usually comes with a famous architect's name attached, a modern fenced-in mansion, its rather impermanent structure not holding up too well to what must have been at least four decades of withstanding the elements. It still looks rather pretty, though, in a mildly bland sort of way, and rather tranquil as well. Sister Greer walks up to the gate and presses the buzzer.
"Yes? Who is it?" a tinny female voice comes from a speaker.
"Sister Greer, Prioress."
"Your morning walks seem to be getting longer and longer, Sister," the voice says.
"I have brought something of interest, Prioress. Two men with interesting goods."
The speaker is silent for a moment.
"Not drugs this time, Prioress."
"They had better not be, Sister Greer," the voice replies, then cuts out. The gate unlocks audibly, and Sister Greer guides Larry and Halesey inside, past a well-kept yard that must have been host to quite a few flowers not two months ago, and through the front entrance. The inside of the mansion, though the structure itself has seen better days, is surprisingly tastefully decorated, and the state of the place is unexpectedly warm and friendly. That is, until they are brought into a spacious living room where seven other women, dressed casually, yet modestly, await them, most of them inspecting Halesey and Larry as well as Sister Greer in a very doubtful fashion.
The one woman that doesn't give the three of them a doubtful look is a woman in her late forties, who would have a very trustworthy, friendly face if it wasn't for the fact that she is currently using it to project a rather hostile glare toward the two new arrivals. Before she even opens her mouth, it's quite clear that she must be the Prioress.
"Welcome to our home," the Prioress says. "Sister Greer said you have 'interesting goods', which is already a reason for me to suspect something to be rather fishy about you two. I do, however, hope I am wrong in doing so."
"What they have is indeed interesting, Prioress... I suspect you will not like it, but it seemed important enough to bring here."
Post by: Pancaek on March 08, 2014, 08:36:13 am
Plead with the kids!
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 08, 2014, 10:13:44 am
"Can I not just leave you alone? Have you been listening to what I've been saying? I have mister Lee, the magical brute, hounding me to make sure you're safe! The two people who were with me have gone braindead! For the love of god, please...please just follow me back to mister Lee's shop so that we can settle this. Because remember, this is between you and Lee, I'm just some poor sap who somehow got caught up in all of this."
Plead with the kids!
"That bastard has no business telling us what to do!"
"Yeah, we're leaving."
"You can go on ahead and tell him we said that he could go fuck himself with his meddling."
"And you, you can go fuck yourself by extension if you insist on bringing us home."
"Yeah!"
Post by: Pancaek on March 08, 2014, 10:52:56 am
"I'm going to say this once more, you pair of horrid children. So listen well. I do not want to bring you home. It would be super fucking useful for me if you could just go and die, that way I won't have to keep running after you. But so help me god, you are going to come with me to mister Lee. Once you are there, once mister Lee has said his shit, you are free to do whatever the fuck you want, because it won't be my problem anymore.
Now, do you spoiled brats think you can manage to just show your ugly faces in that bastards shop for a second, or am I going to have to drag you there?"
Hopefully be intimidating! Be prepared if to defend myself if the kid does anything rash
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 08, 2014, 11:06:38 am
Getting rather annoyed, John stand up to his full height and looks straight into the boy's eyes as he speaks.
"I'm going to say this once more, you pair of horrid children. So listen well. I do not want to bring you home. It would be super fucking useful for me if you could just go and die, that way I won't have to keep running after you. But so help me god, you are going to come with me to mister Lee. Once you are there, once mister Lee has said his shit, you are free to do whatever the fuck you want, because it won't be my problem anymore.
Now, do you spoiled brats think you can manage to just show your ugly faces in that bastards shop for a second, or am I going to have to drag you there?"
Hopefully be intimidating! Be prepared if to defend myself if the kid does anything rash
"We can fight it out right here if you want to. But we ain't going to Mr. Lee. This isn't any of his business. We'll be out of his fucking precious neighborhood in a jiffy if you just leave us alone. I know what he wants us to do, go home. There's no chance in hell that's gonna happen, though."
"No chance at all," says Trey, getting up. "Are we gonna have a problem, man?"
Post by: Pancaek on March 08, 2014, 11:19:13 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 08, 2014, 11:29:34 am
"Sorry to dissapoint you, boy, but we've had a problem from before we've met. Now, before we go flinging spells at eachother, can you at the very least tell me why the fuck you're so against going home in the first place?"
"No, because it's none of your goddamn business. Now, how about you fuck off already, and we-"
"Wait, Luz. I think he should know."
"What?" Luz asks incredulously.
"Yeah," Trey nods, closing his eyes solemnly. He then turns to you and breathes in deeply, then exhales. "It's Luz's dad. He... did things to her. Terrible things. Do I need to go into detail?" he asks, scowling at you disgustedly. Luz just gapes at him, looking shocked.
Post by: Pancaek on March 08, 2014, 11:33:00 am
Say! stealthily look at the girl's face while Trey talks to see if Trey is telling the truth or not!
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 08, 2014, 11:58:02 am
"Yes, keep going. I'm trying to be a neutral party here, and depending on what you say next, I may or may not have a problem with saying 'fuck you' to mister Lee."
Trey blinks a few times.
"... all right. Her dad, he's got this... creepy OCD or schizophrenic thing going on. It was all kind of under control back when his wife, you know, Luz's mom, was alive, she made sure he took his meds, kept him under control... but then she died. Cancer or something, I dunno, Luz couldn't tell me much."
"I was pretty young at the time."
"After that, he went off the deep end. Kept pretending she wasn't dead, kept her clothes washed. Was all confused when he came home and dinner wasn't ready. Then Luz grew up a little more, and, you see, thing was, she looked a lot like her mother. So her dad, he... made her wear her mom's clothes. And sleep in his bed. And... you know."
You keep a steady eye on Luz's reactions to the tale, and notice a few things - while she is shocked, it's definitely the 'that's fucked up, man' sort of shock rather than the sort of shock accompanying a dramatic revelation. And you would certainly know the difference between the two from your years of watching late-night reruns of Jerry Springer - while Trey, bless his soul, is trying his very best to sound and look believable, Luz is giving it away pretty clearly. If you were less of a bored insomniac in the old days, they might have fooled you. But this isn't cutting it.
Post by: lawastooshort on March 08, 2014, 02:37:45 pm
Post by: darkpaladin109 on March 08, 2014, 03:33:52 pm
1. Why are you here and not someplace else? I am here because I am intrigued in and investigate the occult, and being with others who perform such things would be helpful in my investigations.
2. What’s your name? Myles Terrell, Gentleman Thief and Occult Investigator
3. What color do you identify yourself with? Blue
4. Describe yourself. I am a tall man with short black hair and eyes. I have a mustache and am of average weight. I am not particularly muscular, though I am still stronger than the average man.
5. What do you like/love/enjoy? I enjoy mysteries and the Occult. I also have a fondness for fine clothing and thievery.
6. What do you dislike/hate/fear? I dislike the rich, particularly those that treat those below them in social status as inferior. I fear death and the supernatural.
7. In terms of occult or obscure power and knowledge, who would you like most to resemble (fictional people included)? Trilby (http://chzomythos.wikia.com/wiki/Trilby), Robin Hood.
Stats:
Body: 1
Finesse: 1
Mind: 2
Affinity: 2
EDIT: Added stats and changed color to blue.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 08, 2014, 03:48:43 pm
NEEDS WAITLISTERS YOU SAY!?Stats
1. Why are you here and not someplace else? I am here because I am intrigued in and investigate the occult, and being with others who perform such things would be helpful in my investigations.
2. What’s your name? Myles Terrell, Gentleman Thief and Occult Investigator
3. What color do you identify yourself with? I associate myself with beige, the color of the suit I wear.
4. Describe yourself. I am a tall man with short black hair and eyes. I have a mustache and am of average weight. I am not particularly muscular, though I am still stronger than the average man.
5. What do you like/love/enjoy? I enjoy mysteries and the Occult. I also have a fondness for fine clothing and thievery.
6. What do you dislike/hate/fear? I dislike the rich, particularly those that treat those below them in social status as inferior. I fear death and the supernatural.
7. In terms of occult or obscure power and knowledge, who would you like most to resemble (fictional people included)? Trilby (http://chzomythos.wikia.com/wiki/Trilby), Robin Hood.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 08, 2014, 03:54:37 pm
NEEDS WAITLISTERS YOU SAY!?
1. Why are you here and not someplace else? I am here because I am intrigued in and investigate the occult, and being with others who perform such things would be helpful in my investigations.
2. What’s your name? Myles Terrell, Gentleman Thief and Occult Investigator
3. What color do you identify yourself with? I associate myself with beige, the color of the suit I wear.
4. Describe yourself. I am a tall man with short black hair and eyes. I have a mustache and am of average weight. I am not particularly muscular, though I am still stronger than the average man.
5. What do you like/love/enjoy? I enjoy mysteries and the Occult. I also have a fondness for fine clothing and thievery.
6. What do you dislike/hate/fear? I dislike the rich, particularly those that treat those below them in social status as inferior. I fear death and the supernatural.
7. In terms of occult or obscure power and knowledge, who would you like most to resemble (fictional people included)? Trilby (http://chzomythos.wikia.com/wiki/Trilby), Robin Hood.
Excellent work on posting the sheet, but, unless you feel it is integral, could you please not choose beige? It's not very fun to work with.
Stats
Also would be handy, yes. In fact, I'll change the character sheet to reflect this.
Post by: darkpaladin109 on March 08, 2014, 04:06:38 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 08, 2014, 04:09:21 pm
Fair enough. Is blue taken already?
Not as far as I remember - sky blue was taken by Dwarmin, and teal was taken by Pancaek, but blue itself has remained unclaimed.
Post by: Toaster on March 08, 2014, 10:42:01 pm
"Yeah, this sh..tuff is pretty wack. We're not sure what to do with it, but I take it H..e has a plan."
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 09, 2014, 02:16:04 am
"Well ma'am, you see, it all started this morning when Derek here and me - Roger Egwein at your service, mother superior - were rummaging around this pawn shop for old literature and vintage clothing to sell in our retro fashion start up boutique, and we found... well, we found these two bags full of... mature literature. If you see what I mean. I was somewhat shocked that a Lady of God should display such an interest in it, but then it is kind of bewitching, slightly odd, really. It has caused Derek to drool publicly several times already."
Though Larry has to have a moment to himself to realize what Halesey is talking about exactly, he concurs nevertheless.
"Yeah, this sh..tuff is pretty wack. We're not sure what to do with it, but I take it H..e has a plan."
The Prioress doesn't seem very happy about this explanation.
"Mature literature... mature literature!" she says with dramatic incredulity, turning to Sister Greer. "Sister Greer, your continued antics are cause for me to not only doubt your judgment, but your very sanity. With all due respect, what is wrong with you?"
"Prioress, it's not about the content! Well, it is, in a way, but not about the 'mature' part of it. There's something about this 'mature literature', as the two gentlemen put it. It's a little unquantifiable, but it has an air of mystery about it. It touches the mind in strange ways is what I'm trying to say here."
"How 'mature literature'... ugh... 'touches your mind' is not something I would like to find out more about, sister."
"Really, Prioress, just take a look. You'll see."
The Prioress sighs.
"Fine. Show me."
Post by: lawastooshort on March 09, 2014, 03:50:45 am
"Well, please don't think I did this on purpose ma'am, I'm just trying to make a living is all... Please don't look at the stapled pages, they're extrafilthy..."
Post by: Pancaek on March 09, 2014, 09:25:13 am
Post by: Toaster on March 09, 2014, 10:41:28 am
Post by: darkpaladin109 on March 09, 2014, 11:02:58 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 09, 2014, 12:51:37 pm
"Well. This is most definitely filth, I would say," she eventually says.
"But that's not all there is to it, yes?" Sister Greer asks enthusiastically.
"... I would say so, yes," the Prioress answers. "Let me see another one."
She takes another magazine and begins perusing that, nodding along with interest.
"Do they all depict gods?" she asks of Halesey with genuine curiosity.
* * * * *
John tries to bust Trey on his shameless lies.
"A valiant effort, but I can totally see that you're lying your ass off. Now enough of your childish games and just spit out the truth already. You are wasting both of our time. Honestly, what reason could you have to fall back on the 'my daddy hurt me and was a creep' story? That shit is so cliché, dude."
Trey scowls, then shrugs.
"Hey, it was the best I could think of at the moment."
"He is kind of right, though. The fruit was a little too low-hanging to be plausible."
"Everyone's a critic. Okay, I'll give you our reasons. There's this girl, Joanie. She knows where we can find this thing called a leyline - it's basically what magic is made of. The source of all power. And I do mean all the power in the world."
"Not power like what we've got right now, either. What we've got right now is just this goofy-ass shit."
"See, Joanie never told us where the leyline was. But Luz can kinda tell by herself."
"Kinda."
"And so we were planning out this little scheme on how we would get in there. And I was spending a lot of time in Luz's place, and her dad kind of got the wrong idea about the whole deal."
"Well, not entirely the wrong idea," Luz smiles.
"He really is some kind of paranoid OCD asshole, you know. Didn't lie about that. So, one night, me and Luz are sort of brainstorming-"
"Or we were until somebody decided he had a better idea on what we could do."
"-and her dad walks in through the door, shotgun in hand. He's kind of old-fashioned that way."
"It wasn't loaded, Trey."
"I didn't know that! So I was, like, startled and shit."
"You shrieked, Trey. Like a little girl."
"That was deliberate. People don't expect a dude to do that, you know? So, this kind of sets off Luz, and she accidentally fires off this spell."
"Inconceivable Cactus Shield. That one used to be such a barrel of laughs."
"Needless to say, the old man didn't expect that. Practically fell on his ass. Can't blame him - you don't know what real mystery is until you've stared at an inconceivable cactus."
"And then you ran like a little girl."
"Like a professional. Before he could, I dunno, shoot me or whatever."
"So he left me there, and I had a whole lot of questions to answer. And I did. Told him about the books, the leylines, all that shit. Showed him what I could do, explained what needed to be done and what I was doing in my room."
"And you know what that motherfucker did? He went, no, ran to Mr. Lee. Pretty accurate instinct, but still. Guy narced on his own daughter, just like that."
"Told me to stay inside the house, and not to leave under any circumstances. No visitors, obviously. And boy, was he ready to enforce that rule."
"Yeah, you can bet your ass he was keeping that shotgun loaded from there on in."
"And then he took me to Mr. Lee's shop, where the old geezer himself started asking me all sorts of questions. Really specific questions. Guy knew his magic shit, let me tell you. But I didn't tell him a goddamn thing."
"Yeah, that asshole's got his nose into everything already. Even the fucking magic. Especially the fucking magic."
"So I couldn't stay there. Either Mr. Lee was gonna try and stop me from using magic, which I'm never gonna do..."
"... or he was gonna make her run his fucking errands, like Joanie tried to with us. So, what do you think? That a good enough yarn for you, or do we have to fight it out now?"
"We ain't going back, that's for sure!"
They seem to have worked up quite the bit of rage through the recounting of their tale, John notices.
* * * * *
It was all so very obvious. Who else could it have been but the marketing director of LindisPharm Inc.? A mysterious man of wealth and great genius, or so went the rumors, which really did not go too well with his name - Kermit Q. Pilton. In fact, the name Kermit Q. Pilton was exactly the sort of name you wouldn't associate with a criminal genius who drenched a good portion of the city in shampoo not two days ago. But once one got past that obstacle, everything made sense. It was all a great conspiracy perpetrated by the marketing department of LindisPharm!
Of course, Dave has yet to figure out how dinosaurs figured into this scheme - a bit of shock and awe to put the populace into a suggestible state? There are indeed many possibilities, but the fact is, he knows who is behind it all, and so does his unlikely partner in this endeavor, Mr. Myles Terrell. And here they are, at fabulous Chez Ronardo's, the fanciest place in town you can conceivably get into without a reservation, where they knew the elusive Mr. Pilton to often be at evenings. And, right as rain, there he is, looking just about ready to order food with his blind date, a rather tiny woman who the two men had determined beforehand (through the very reliable sleuthing method of questioning Mr. Pilton's notoriously unreliable secretary) was named Ms. Henrietta Black.
The question was, how will they corner him and expose his schemes? They have very solid guesses, but no solid proof he is involved. But the time feels right! Surely he cannot expect somebody to have figured it all out so quickly! They have an extraordinary opportunity here to catch him in a moment of weakness!
Post by: Pancaek on March 09, 2014, 01:25:58 pm
"Okay, yeah, I believe this, at least. So, answer me this: Basically, you're trying to run away from both this Joanie character and Mister Lee, because you don't want to run their errands. I understand that one, very much so.
You are also running away from her father, because he might pressure her into giving up magic and might just shoot your ass off. Also understandable.
So, to accomplish this, you are running towards the same place this joanie is inevitebly going to be, and you won't even talk to the one man who knows pretty much all there is to know about this?
Just answer me this, and then give me like, 5 seconds to mull over your final answer. Because all of this is getting complicated as hell."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 09, 2014, 01:28:51 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 09, 2014, 03:06:09 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 09, 2014, 03:20:43 pm
John, getting rather confused by the many, many ways this story is going, rubs his temples as he speaks.
"Okay, yeah, I believe this, at least. So, answer me this: Basically, you're trying to run away from both this Joanie character and Mister Lee, because you don't want to run their errands. I understand that one, very much so.
You are also running away from her father, because he might pressure her into giving up magic and might just shoot your ass off. Also understandable.
So, to accomplish this, you are running towards the same place this joanie is inevitebly going to be, and you won't even talk to the one man who knows pretty much all there is to know about this?
Just answer me this, and then give me like, 5 seconds to mull over your final answer. Because all of this is getting complicated as hell."
"We're not running from Joanie."
"Actually, we're doing the opposite. We aren't taking any more of her shit."
"We're gonna go over to her leyline and take its power whether she likes it or not."
"In fact, we're not gonna take anybody's shit. Least of all Mr. Lee's. Old motherfucker pretends he knows everything, but he's "
"Er, I dunno, really, ma'am...I haven't looked at them all, I'm not that massively into this kind of thing. Look, you can have them all, if you want, just please don't exorcise me, I've got a date this evening with this really nice girl and I think she's actually into me for my personality and natural charm and not just my supernatural porn collection and I don't want to go with my face messed up and all covered in vomit, okay? Please?"
"It is indeed very kind of you to volunteer such... interesting artifacts. But I would like to know more about where you found them, if you don't mind."
"He did tell me they were written by deranged, poor, deprived young adults, but you seem to have slightly altered your story on the way here," Sister Greer observes.
"We are not interrogating you, obviously. If you don't wish to tell us, that is not really that much of a problem. It is simply that this literature seems... special enough for its origin to be of some import."
Post by: Pancaek on March 09, 2014, 04:07:58 pm
"So, I see there's no way short of crippling you that could keep you from going to this place. But if I just let you go mister Lee will keep bothering me forever. He knows where I live, you know? And I'm not leaving that place, I rather like it.
So there's only one thing I can do, I'm coming with you."
accompany the two youths on their adventure!
Post by: lawastooshort on March 09, 2014, 05:28:22 pm
Post by: Toaster on March 09, 2014, 10:59:57 pm
It wasn't entirely a lie, at least.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 10, 2014, 02:34:50 pm
"So, I see there's no way short of crippling you that could keep you from going to this place. But if I just let you go mister Lee will keep bothering me forever. He knows where I live, you know? And I'm not leaving that place, I rather like it. So there's only one thing I can do, I'm coming with you."
The teenaged couple are a bit leery of the offer.
"... I don't know," Trey says, tilting his head.
"We could probably use backup now that Shauna and Raven bailed on us like that."
"True, I guess... say, dude, what spells have you got? Are you any good with them?"
* * * * *
Halesey and Larry do their best to explain themselves.
"Er. Yesssss... Sorry about that. I kind of assumed whoever wrote them was deranged, so that's not entirely a lie... Um. Derek?" Halesey says, looking for some support here.
"We just happened across them. Couldn't tell you who wrote them, really. Magazines usually have an editor listed on the back page, don't they?" Larry contributes with another bit that's not entirely untrue. The Prioress quickly leafs over to the back page of one of the dirty mags.
"It says here 'published by the Most Glorious Publishing House of the Multiverse Limited, address Ultraviolet e Left Down BTTTFT'. The editor seems to be one JQQZZR59-pi. At least, that's how I think you're supposed to pronounce that. In any case, it does not really clear up much. In fact, when taken with the obviously strange nature of the magazine itself, it only raises more questions. It's not a stretch to associate these with the other strange happenings in town, obviously, but their exact relation is rather unclear. Are you sure you two don't know anything?" the Prioress asks, looking thoughtful.
Post by: Pancaek on March 10, 2014, 03:06:11 pm
Converse! if I have time, read the magazine again to perhaps get some more options!
Post by: Toaster on March 10, 2014, 06:34:57 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on March 10, 2014, 08:40:13 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 11, 2014, 03:48:42 am
"Although perhaps we should just burn them, and be gone."
Post by: Toaster on March 11, 2014, 07:26:24 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 11, 2014, 01:00:17 pm
"Well, I've got implode desk, detonate methhead, and attract sausages. Not sure how handy those will be, but the one time I cast attract sausages a particularly heavy bratwurst almost knocked me out cold. That reminds me, I should probably try to get some more useful spells some time. I've also got something called Breath of Highly Explosive Dihydroxyacetone, but I'm somewhat wary of even using that one."
"I've got something called an 'unlucky methhead sphere', maybe that could work well with that detonation thing you have. What else I got is 'blessing of the heavily-armed traffic light', 'teleport knight' and 'pillar of lipstick'. They mostly don't work right for me, though."
"As for me, I have 'multiply vases', 'attract sandwiches', 'storm of alcoholic chewing gum', 'ghostify clown' and 'empathize with communists'. Several of those I haven't tried yet, didn't have the opportunity."
"All in all, between us we don't have anything that's a real killer spell, with the exception of the storm and the methhead detonation. That 'highly explosive' thing doesn't sound too safe to me."
Hm. Lack of good spells, is it? John has the solution! He takes out his magazine.
"Is that your book?" Trey asks, and John nods. He opens it up and takes a look within.
"Well, it's as good a time as any," Luz says, and she and Trey get out a couple of unmarked notebooks, opening them up and looking within.
[John's mind roll: 3]
The trip's not as good this time around for John, but he does manage to get himself a sphere for his troubles! It still feels highly gratifying.
Spoiler: John's New Spell (click to show/hide)
As he emerges from his trance, John notices Trey and Luz shaking off their own little visions.
"'Kay, replaced the knight spell with something called a 'wall of painful canned goods'. Sounds like it could be useful."
"And I got Blessing of Tobacco. Wonder what that is, really."
* * * * *
Larry and Halesey continue to lie confidently.
"We're just simple merchants, Sister. We just resale the things."
"Although perhaps we should just burn them, and be gone."
"Oh no. No need for that. If you don't want them, we'd certainly be glad to keep them. We could even compensate you for your trouble - it surely took some courage to bring this here, did it not? After all, we are nuns. People mostly try to avoid us these days, not that we can usually be found wandering around," the Prioress says, smiling kindly.
Post by: Toaster on March 11, 2014, 01:43:44 pm
"I think that can work for me. You?"
He had already forgotten Halesey's code name.
Post by: darkpaladin109 on March 11, 2014, 04:58:51 pm
"Well, the only logical action at this point would be to loudly accuse him of witchcraft and Satan worship. Don't you agree Myles?""I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave. We need to take a more stealthier approach if we are to be efficent. Starting with trying to find any dirty secrets he has."
((Sorry, but with your character's name and my initial response that quote was absolutely perfect :P.))
Post by: lawastooshort on March 11, 2014, 05:24:45 pm
Post by: Pancaek on March 12, 2014, 03:46:37 pm
Follow the youths!
Spoiler: john (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 12, 2014, 04:00:34 pm
"We have all the secrets we need! He is a practitioner of witchcraft and most likely a worshiper of Satin Dark Lord of Fabrics. What else could there be?""Well, the only logical action at this point would be to loudly accuse him of witchcraft and Satan worship. Don't you agree Myles?""I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave. We need to take a more stealthier approach if we are to be efficent. Starting with trying to find any dirty secrets he has."
((Sorry, but with your character's name and my initial response that quote was absolutely perfect :P.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 12, 2014, 04:20:36 pm
"I think that can work for me. You?" he asks Halesey, having already blanked on what his good buddy's fake name might have been once upon a time.
"Er, yeah, I suppose that would be okay. Say, Mother Prioress, do you know anything about these strange occurrences then? If we found any more incidences of these strange artifacts would you be interested? Because, you know, they are kind of worrying, if you aren't looking to sell adult literature."
"I know that whatever seems to be happening, it is definitely a truly supernatural event. Most certainly not a hoax of any kind, and thus it would be best to beware of anybody truly strange wandering the streets. Not to mention all the dinosaurs, of course, though they seem to have mostly gone off to other places or died."
"They were certainly very frightening while they lasted, though."
"Indeed. There has been talk that all this is the work of wizards empowered by strange entities - it is rather unsettling to consider that even a single person is in the position to hold a power like that without any regard for things like decency and morality, to say nothing of a whole mess of them, or about the inherently troubling concept of an entity granting anyone power, as that implies that it wants something back from the bargain. I have the feeling things are only going to get worse from here, actually. You two should certainly be careful out there," the Prioress says, then reaches into her pockets for a wallet. "So, let's see... I suppose 200 dollars would be a fair finder's fee, don't you think?" she says, handing two bills to the undercover porn salesmen.
* * * * *
John explains about his new spell to the youths, as it seems only fair when you consider that they volunteered information to him so freely.
"Right, I've got make golem psychedelic... I don't suppose this woman uses golems, by any chance?"
"She does, actually. Or at least she can."
"They're made of cocaine of all things, in fact."
"So, psychedelic cocaine golems it is, huh?"
With that bit of information discovered, John follows the youths to where they believe the leyline to be - it looks like a school, actually. In the dark, one can see the words "Timothy Mills Memorial High School" embossed in fake gold on a white stone outside the building, which doesn't look too massive as far as schools go - has three wings with three stories each, and a very humble-looking, utilitarian main entrance. As the three move closer, Luz motions everyone to stop.
"Right, so, we need to get in - that'll be easy."
"Already thought of that. But Joanie's got the night watchman, Nigel, magicked up to keep an eye on the place while she's gone."
"We initially thought we'd just hit the guy fast and hard, but I don't think we have the numbers for it anymore. Maybe we could try some other plan. Any ideas, boys?" she asks both
Post by: Pancaek on March 12, 2014, 04:26:06 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 12, 2014, 04:28:38 pm
"Well, neither Joanie nor this Nigel guy would know me, right? Maybe I could somehow distract him? Though I'm not sure how I'd do that, it's just an idea. How has she 'magicked him up' anyway?"
"Gave him a spellbook and let him have a sip of that nice leyline, you know. And that idea could work, though I have no idea how you'd be able to not make him real suspicious, being a grown-ass man loitering around a school at night."
Post by: Pancaek on March 12, 2014, 04:33:51 pm
Acquire Pen and notepad, then make sure I've got backup from the kids.
Post by: lawastooshort on March 12, 2014, 05:32:40 pm
A secure future Chez Ronardos this evening...
Is it time to go meet er Penny?
"Excuse, me, mother, but, I always wanted to know. Can you really exorcise people? Do nuns really have praeternatural powers?"
Post by: Toaster on March 12, 2014, 08:33:05 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 13, 2014, 07:30:34 am
"Okay, I'm going to need a notepad and a pen. I think I've got an idea, but I would like you guys to stay out of sight and rush to my aid should things go awry. It's time to use the kryptonite of the grown-up world. Bureaucracy!"
"Don't have a pen or a notepad."
"Neither do I."
Luckily, John has a notepad! He never leaves home without it. As well as at least three working pens - he knew all that preparation would pay off some day! He displays his supplies proudly, but his new friends don't seem impressed, and simply head off into the dark after assuring John that yes, they will come out and help him if necessary.
* * * * *
Halesey agrees with the idea of the fee and accepts the Prioress' money.
"Why, yes ma'am, and I will try to bear the necessity for morality in mind in my future dealings with any strange occurrences. I can just imagine what the sight of depraved dinosaurs roaming the streets of her home town would have done for my mother's heart, bless her. Derek, let us carefully save these eurodollars for a secure future," he says, securing these eurodollars for a safe future. It then occurs to him that two hundred dollars, while not bad in money terms, might not be quite enough to have some actual fun with at Chez Ronardo's - luckily, it's noon plus or minus one hour right now, which means he has about eight hours to get as much money as he needs. It also occurs to him that there is an important question he needs to ask the Prioress.
"Excuse, me, mother, but, I always wanted to know. Can you really exorcise people? Do nuns really have praeternatural powers?" he asks, with Larry providing an affirmative nod to stress the essential nature of the query. The Prioress merely raises an eyebrow, then shrugs.
"Of course they do. Why else would somebody willingly segregate themselves from society and live a life of isolation and discipline? It's all those mystical powers, obviously," she says with more than a twinge of sarcasm. One of the nuns snickers at the remark, and the Prioress shakes her head.
"No, sir, we don't have preternatural powers. No nun actually does. Some may pretend they do, and some may get preternatural powers retroactively assigned to them by popular history, but no. Having anything of the sort would go against the spirit of the whole endeavor. A monastery is supposed to be a place without troubling events, a place of perspective and introspection. You know, nun things. Not god-magic or whatever."
Post by: Pancaek on March 13, 2014, 08:30:02 am
"Good evening, Sir. I'm with the Office of the Inspector General of the Health and safety departement. I'm here for the scheduled inspection of your kitchen, water and heating. Shall we begin?"
Post by: darkpaladin109 on March 13, 2014, 09:45:01 am
"If we have evidence of that, we should plant it somewhere where someone else, such as am interviewer could easily find it and mistake it for his.""We have all the secrets we need! He is a practitioner of witchcraft and most likely a worshiper of Satin Dark Lord of Fabrics. What else could there be?""Well, the only logical action at this point would be to loudly accuse him of witchcraft and Satan worship. Don't you agree Myles?""I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave. We need to take a more stealthier approach if we are to be efficent. Starting with trying to find any dirty secrets he has."
((Sorry, but with your character's name and my initial response that quote was absolutely perfect :P.))
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 13, 2014, 09:56:29 am
"No! We must strike while the iron is hot! THAT MAN IS A CASTER OF WITCHCRAFT, SOWER OF CHAOS, AND A SATINIST!""If we have evidence of that, we should plant it somewhere where someone else, such as am interviewer could easily find it and mistake it for his.""We have all the secrets we need! He is a practitioner of witchcraft and most likely a worshiper of Satin Dark Lord of Fabrics. What else could there be?""Well, the only logical action at this point would be to loudly accuse him of witchcraft and Satan worship. Don't you agree Myles?""I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave. We need to take a more stealthier approach if we are to be efficent. Starting with trying to find any dirty secrets he has."
((Sorry, but with your character's name and my initial response that quote was absolutely perfect :P.))
Post by: Toaster on March 13, 2014, 10:22:42 am
Post by: darkpaladin109 on March 13, 2014, 10:44:39 am
"Show me the proof first.""No! We must strike while the iron is hot! THAT MAN IS A CASTER OF WITCHCRAFT, SOWER OF CHAOS, AND A SATINIST!""If we have evidence of that, we should plant it somewhere where someone else, such as am interviewer could easily find it and mistake it for his.""We have all the secrets we need! He is a practitioner of witchcraft and most likely a worshiper of Satin Dark Lord of Fabrics. What else could there be?""Well, the only logical action at this point would be to loudly accuse him of witchcraft and Satan worship. Don't you agree Myles?""I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave. We need to take a more stealthier approach if we are to be efficent. Starting with trying to find any dirty secrets he has."
((Sorry, but with your character's name and my initial response that quote was absolutely perfect :P.))
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 13, 2014, 11:02:21 am
((Just to be clear I shouted that last part at the top of my lungs while pointing at him.))"Show me the proof first.""No! We must strike while the iron is hot! THAT MAN IS A CASTER OF WITCHCRAFT, SOWER OF CHAOS, AND A SATINIST!""If we have evidence of that, we should plant it somewhere where someone else, such as am interviewer could easily find it and mistake it for his.""We have all the secrets we need! He is a practitioner of witchcraft and most likely a worshiper of Satin Dark Lord of Fabrics. What else could there be?""Well, the only logical action at this point would be to loudly accuse him of witchcraft and Satan worship. Don't you agree Myles?""I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave. We need to take a more stealthier approach if we are to be efficent. Starting with trying to find any dirty secrets he has."
((Sorry, but with your character's name and my initial response that quote was absolutely perfect :P.))
Post by: lawastooshort on March 13, 2014, 03:21:25 pm
Perhaps as soon as we get out of sight you could breathe up some more porn?
Post by: Toaster on March 13, 2014, 03:29:56 pm
Note- I'm assuming we can get away from here without needing any real action. If I am incorrect, let me know.
As they left, Larry perked up. "Oh man, I can breathe porn and summon hats. What if I do them both together?"
When clear of the nunnery, attempt to cast both Summon Hats and Breath of Divine Gentlemen's Literature together, as one spell!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on March 14, 2014, 11:22:51 am
Watch in amazement.
Then dual cast Bolt of Indestructible Beans and Hairy Mafioso Barrier at a nearby tree.
Watch in amazement.
((I realise that the obvious combination is 1 and 2 but thought I'd play it safe...))
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 14, 2014, 11:34:28 am
"Good evening, sir. I'm with the Office of the Inspector General of the Health and Safety Department. I'm here for the scheduled inspection of your kitchen, water and heating. Shall we begin?"
The man, who John presumes to be the watchman, merely yawns for a second before retorting with a simple "No, you definitely aren't. Fuck off," before disappearing back into the building, shutting the blinds and seemingly locking the window as well, judging by the locks in place over there.
* * * * *
Halesey and Larry appropriately take the Prioress' answer as a hint that it might be time to leave.
"Well, okay, but I for one will be relieved that there is a bastion of perspective and introspection in a time where living dinosaurs can fall from the sky. Let us go, Derek. We have to find some other honorable means of raising enough cash for me to be able to impress Nancy tonight."
And thus they leave the nunnery, leaving behind all of their gentlemen's literature for the nuns' perusal and study. After all, if you can't entrust a nun with your porn, can you entrust anybody? The two walk away in silence until they are well away from the place, at which point Larry realizes that he hasn't tried something incredibly brilliant yet - combining spells!
"Oh man, I can breathe porn and summon hats. What if I do them both together?"
He concentrates on the twin joys of good porn and fine hats and, upon getting Halesey's approval on the fact that it's totally something he should do, lets off the united spell!
[Larry's affinity roll: 5+1]
Instantly, a whole lot of gentlemen's literature begins to stream rapidly from his mouth, filling up the road in front of him in ways roads were never meant to be filled up. No hats appear, however, aside from on the covers of the magazines themselves - he doesn't think gods actually wear bowler hats unless they're really weird, and these look otherwise legit to him.
Impressed by the glory of combined magic, Halesey tries a combination of his own - hairy mafiosi and indestructible beans, truly a match made in heaven.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->3]
As his mind is filled with promising images of the glory that awaits, he completely forgets to think of any specifications for what the spell should manifest as, and where. So it is not that much of a surprise when he suddenly notices a man-sized bean covered in rather slimy hair floating around him. What's strange is that it seems to have a gun in its hand and a very mean expression on its face. It appears to be directed at him.
Post by: Toaster on March 14, 2014, 12:19:14 pm
He waits, then jumps at Halesey's result. "I got this, man!" Inspired by his magical success, he feels flush with power.
Alkaline Trouser Golem Beam that mafibean away!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
((Was dualcasting an intentional thing, or did you rule on it on the fly?))
Post by: Pancaek on March 14, 2014, 12:22:29 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 14, 2014, 12:26:24 pm
((Wut. That went really badly. This would be a lot easier if I still had the rest of our group. I'm pretty much out of ideas now.))
Would you like to petition the spirits of the netherworld for an answer?
Post by: lawastooshort on March 14, 2014, 12:30:10 pm
Post by: Pancaek on March 14, 2014, 12:50:52 pm
((That actually sounds kinda Fun. Is this an actual in-game thing, or just an OOC way of telling me that you're taking pity on me?))((Wut. That went really badly. This would be a lot easier if I still had the rest of our group. I'm pretty much out of ideas now.))
Would you like to petition the spirits of the netherworld for an answer?
Have you tried extreme magical violence, pancaek? I think it has solved every problem for me and toaster that extreme mundane violence or porn didn't solve.((I'd love to, but unless he's a methhead I don't really have usable combat spells. There's the explosive whatchamacallit, but I am somewhat..eh..wary of breathing explosives. Call me crazy if you will.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 14, 2014, 12:54:00 pm
((That actually sounds kinda Fun. Is this an actual in-game thing, or just an OOC way of telling me that you're taking pity on me?))
State your request to the spirits in the form of an action, and perhaps you will be regaled with amazing information!
((I'd love to, but unless he's a methhead I don't really have usable combat spells. There's the explosive whatchamacallit, but I am somewhat..eh..wary of breathing explosives. Call me crazy if you will.))
If only you had some way of getting new spells!
Post by: Pancaek on March 14, 2014, 12:59:44 pm
If only you had some way of getting new spells!((Yeah, what ever will I do? Still, kinda sucks that the other two people who started playing when I joined kinda just...vanished. What's up with that eh?))
John, somewhat befuddled by what happened, wanders a little bit away from the door.
"Bureaucracy...failed me? I'm not sure what I was expecting, but still..." He grabs his magazine "Might as well try this...ahem...great being that is currently inside of this magazine, what the hell should I do to get past this asshole?"
He then reads the magazine, both to get new spells and some answers.
Read magazine! Ask the netherworld! yes!
Post by: Toaster on March 14, 2014, 01:03:16 pm
Post by: Digital Hellhound on March 14, 2014, 01:12:05 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 14, 2014, 01:51:21 pm
Unleash the fatal porn centrefold on the bean if Larry fails to subdue it.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 14, 2014, 05:42:50 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 15, 2014, 07:14:43 am
"THAT MAN IS A CASTER OF WITCHCRAFT, SOWER OF CHAOS, AND A SATINIST!"
The patrons are a bit confused. They did not think that the place had much appeal for the inquisitorial crowd, but here is a man proving them wrong. It is most disturbing to the patrons, but not quite disturbing enough for them to actually react in much of a measurable way. Maybe the staff will take care of it, they think.
Mr. Pilton, though, is a bit more moved, and apparently feels the urge to comment.
"You don't cast witchcraft, idiot! You practice it! As, in, you're a practitioner of witchcraft! Get your lingo right!" he shouts from his seat, obviously making his companion a tad uncomfortable.
* * * * *
Larry did not expect it to go this well, and feels like he can take on the world now, to say nothing of the giant, hairy, floating bean in front of Halesey. "I got this, man!" he merely says, and aims one of his golem beams at the displeasing legume!
[Larry's affinity roll: 4+1]
[Larry's finesse roll: 3]
The beam of golems is rather questionably aimed, but it does seem to clip the bean very nicely, sending it spinning in place, but failing to cause it any harm. Once it stops, the bean looks rather displeased, and Halesey knows that he should probably do something right quick, and grabs one of the fatal porn centerfolds, unstapling it and pointing it at the bean, who looks right into it. Immediately, it begins to burn with a mighty, holy flame, though it does not seem to be harmed in any way. Uh oh.
"What the fuck is that supposed to be, anyway?" the bean asks before turning to Larry.
[Mafibean's finesse roll: 2+1]
It pulls out its gun, a real hand cannon from the looks of it, and aims it at the ground Larry's feet, firing a deafening shot that barely grazes the wizard's foot, causing a sudden spike of pain that Larry bets would be way worse had the bean succeeded in properly hitting him.
"I'm not fucking around here, you understand?" it tells Larry. "Try anything again, and I'm gonna put a bullet in your knee. And if that doesn't help, I'm gonna perforate your goddamn skull. You get me?"
The bean does look like it means it, and just as it looks ready to shoot someone again, it turns to face something - a rather short, well-groomed man in a business suit.
"And who are you supposed to be?" the criminal, flaming legume asks in an unfriendly manner. The man bows.
"I'm sorry to interrupt," he says, "but I was told to come here by a mutual friend, to locate two salesmen of adult literature. I may have a business proposition for them."
There is something strange about the man, and the bean seems to have noticed this as well.
"Hm... we might be interested," the bean replies, grinning at Halesey unpleasantly while keeping his gun squarely pointed at Larry.
* * * * *
John, having been unexpectedly failed by bureaucracy, turns to the dark arts for help, as people often tend to in times of great need. He opens the magazine.
"Might as well try this... ahem... great being that is currently inside of this magazine, what the hell should I do to get past this asshole?"
~I would advise using the most dangerous magic you have, so that he starts to take you seriously. Cause damage. Draw him out! Here, I'll help.~
John feels the magazine reach out to him, swallow his mind in its infinite space of knowledge.
[John's mind roll: 3]
It's a bit difficult to deal with the sudden flow of information, but John does feel something stick before the magic-space fades away, a new piece of magic that will hopefully prove to be his salvation.
Spoiler: John's New Spell (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on March 15, 2014, 12:58:11 pm
Post by: Pancaek on March 15, 2014, 01:15:45 pm
"Hmm, violence, eh? I think I can manage that. In fact I have a new plan." He walks back over tot he kids. "So, that didn't work. Now it's time for plan B. Where B stands for Boom. I'm going to need a bunch of methheads, right in front of that door. Do you think your spell can manage that? Or should we go...I...uh...I'm not sure, round up some methheads from the streets, or something?"
Read magazine once more! Ask the kid if she would cast methhead sphere near the door!
Spoiler: john (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 15, 2014, 01:54:40 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 15, 2014, 02:02:17 pm
"Yes but witchcraft can refer to Wicca spells and rituals specificly as well as the act of preforming any spell or ritual."
"It's a craft, jerkoff, says so right in the name! You don't cast carpentry, do you? You... wait, you probably do, actually, never mind!" Mr. Pilton says and laughs.
Post by: lawastooshort on March 16, 2014, 04:04:04 am
SEND THAT MAFIOSO BEAN TO POTATO HELL! MAXIMUM POTATO HELL!
"-doing business with you... What do you propose?"
((or perhaps I should form a Mafioso barrier instead? Might be less dangerous?))
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 16, 2014, 08:37:40 am
"OW YOU FUCKER THAT WAS MY FUCKING FOOT!" he exclaims, but the bean is unimpressed. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?" he then asks the newcomer.
"I wish to-" the man begins, but Halesey interrupts before he can get much of anywhere with his spiel.
"Please, ignore my friend's lack of manners. This bean just shot him in the foot and I fear it has left him a little irritable. A mutual friend you say? Well, we are indeed purveyors of gentlemanly literature, and we might well be interested in-"
[Halesey's affinity roll: 4]
Without warning, Halesey's eyes flash and a potato vortex appears right behind the bean, exerting a significant pull.
[Mafibean's body roll: 2+1]
[Larry's body roll: 3-1]
[Halesey's body roll: 3]
The bean drifts perilously close to the vortex, and looks fairly displeased. Unfortunately, Halesey and Larry are lifted off the ground a smidgen as well, owing mostly to the point-blank range of the vortex, and Larry in particular is pulled almost to the brink of the gateway into the potato dimension.
"-doing business with you... What do you propose?" Halesey concludes, but the man appears dissatisfied.
"Could you people stop this raging stupidity first, if it is not too much of an imposition?"
"I got just the solution."
[Mafibean's finesse roll: 5+1]
The bean now points its gun at Halesey's foot, and the strange firearm produces another immensely loud bang, a bullet entering into Halesey's right foot from above and going straight through.
[Halesey's body roll: 1-->5]
Halesey only narrowly avoids fainting from the pain - instead, he merely falls over and emits a very loud groan of agony.
"I would prefer it if you did not do that, sir," the man tells the bean, and the bean floats back a little.
"You can't say the motherfucker didn't deserve it, though," the bean replies, but the man seems unamused.
"Be that as it may, I require these two to provide me a service."
"You talk to me, then. They're my people now," the bean replies. "They fall into that vortex, I'm just gonna fish them back out," it says, effortlessly grabbing Larry and Halesey by their collars with the same hand.
The man sighs, looking at the two wizards, both shot to varying degrees through the feet, then at the bean, who still seems to be very irritable.
* * * * *
John guesses violence works. He struts over to the kids.
"So, that didn't work. Now it's time for plan B. Where B stands for Boom. I'm going to need a bunch of methheads, right in front of that door. Do you think your spell can manage that? Or should we go...I...uh...I'm not sure, round up some methheads from the streets, or something?"
Trey nods in an uncharacteristically sagely manner.
"Okay, here goes."
[Trey's affinity roll: 6-->5-1]
Suddenly, a rather huge bunch of very unsavory-looking, confused characters packed tightly against one another in a spherical shape one and a half stories high materializes into being in front of the school entrance. Truly, it is the hugest and most stifling congregation of methheads John has seen since he left his old apartment.
"That went uncharacteristically well."
"Shut up, Luz."
John, meanwhile, begins to examine his magazine again.
[John's mind roll: 5]
This time, the magic comes more easily - the boiling hot knowledge floods through him, many sediments of spells sticking in the overused coffee filter that is his brain.
Spoiler: John's New Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 16, 2014, 10:03:08 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 16, 2014, 10:35:36 am
Well grammar issues aside, you are still a evil warlock bent on world domination for your lord Satin Dark Lord of Fabrics."
"... and the problem is?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 16, 2014, 10:41:31 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 16, 2014, 10:45:59 am
Well being a evil warlock, Satinist, and dropping large amounts of dinosaurs and shampoo on the city is generally frowned upon...You were right Myles this was a terrible idea."
"It is? Well, damn it, why didn't anybody tell me?"
Post by: Pancaek on March 16, 2014, 11:25:04 am
Back up a tad with the kids, preferably get behind something rather solid. Then cast Detonate Methhead on the sphere of methheads.
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 16, 2014, 11:33:28 am
Post by: Toaster on March 16, 2014, 12:30:40 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 16, 2014, 02:56:06 pm
Summon Hairy Mafioso Barrier directly in front of me (and Larry if the barrier is big enough) and point out what this bean did to their boss. Also request that they aid the pair of us in not being pulled into this bloody vortex that just happened to appear.
Post by: wolfchild on March 17, 2014, 06:45:34 am
THis was my first application, don't know what else I need yet harry
You need stats. 6 points allocated to Body, Finesse, Mind and Affinity. See TFN's sheet above.
Sorry for delay
keep forgetting to check the RTD subforum
Bod - 1
Fin - 2
Mind - 2
Aff -1
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 17, 2014, 10:54:43 am
((Would you mind also posting your reaction to the conversation I'm having with your date?))THis was my first application, don't know what else I need yet harry
You need stats. 6 points allocated to Body, Finesse, Mind and Affinity. See TFN's sheet above.
Sorry for delay
keep forgetting to check the RTD subforum
Bod - 1
Fin - 2
Mind - 2
Aff -1
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 17, 2014, 03:46:32 pm
[John's affinity roll: 3+1]
John begins to sweat as he stares at the methheads, his mind centering on the sphere. His ears begin to ring slightly, and the sound rises in intensity as the magic flows through him. His body begins to shake, and he closes his eyes and purses his lips, his very bones trembling with power. The methheads begin to sense that something is wrong, and muffled exclamations are heard from the mass. The tension in the air between John and the sphere rises until a point where the resistance of the nonmagical air simply gives in, and a connection is made.
At this moment, John pours a generous helping of power into the sphere, getting an almost euphoric rush of sudden release, followed by a very fleshy sounding explosion as all of the methheads ahead suddenly pop like a cluster of balloons that somebody chucked a fragmentation grenade into - a wave of shattered bone, blood and gore shoots out in every direction, coating a good portion of the school's facade with a generous helping of pureed methhead. Miraculously, the deluge of viscera stops just short of John and the gang, almost as if this was the way it was meant to be all along. A few moments pass, then a few more, and even though John notices no obvious response from within the school, he does feel more than a little at peace now that he's done this.
* * * * *
"Well it's fairly common knowledge and by this point I'm pretty sure you're mocking me, but on the off chance you aren't then I'm going to continue this conversation," Dave says while Myles remains respectfully silent and blissfully unassociated with his partner.
"Well, ain't I a lucky guy? So, how are you finding the latest events?" Mr. Pilton asks him in a conversational manner, grinning rather cheerfully and paying his date far less attention than is probably recommended.
* * * * *
Halesey, though far more injured than the incoherent Larry, seems to take his pain in stride.
"Bollocks," he says, and tries to summon up a barrier of hairy mafiosi to help him with this task.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 2-1]
Unfortunately, his spellcasting can be of spotty quality at the best of times, and being shot in the foot and getting pulled into potato hell at the same time are certainly not circumstances one could describe as the best of times. So Halesey manages to come up with nothing, the pain overcoming his senses as he flails wildly in place.
[Mafibean's body roll: 4+1]
Their rather terrible captor, meanwhile, pulls the both of them away from the vortex nonchalantly, grumbling quietly about stupid mooks and so forth.
"Right, yeah, so you had an offer?" the bean asks the man, who nods.
"Yes, I do indeed. I require a large amount of their literature placed in a particular location, and the area dimensionally destabilized by midnight," the man states simply.
"So what? I need a lot of things as well, you know."
"There will be a very handsome monetary reward for the tasks performed," the man replies, and the bean becomes interested.
"What tasks do you need done, exactly?"
"I need these two, or at least one of them, to summon up as much divine pornography in a single place - several tons ought to do it, and then destabilize the area, for which the most suitable would be their vortexes, or any other spell that links dimensions. And all this should be done by midnight."
"Huh. Well, I'm pretty sure these mooks can do that, right?"
"Provided they do not bleed to death, of course."
"Eh, I'll take 'em to a hospital."
"Do you know where one is?"
"Or maybe I'll call an ambulance. These guys have got phones, right?" the bean asks, glancing at its captives.
Post by: Toaster on March 17, 2014, 04:04:55 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 17, 2014, 04:06:39 pm
"Eat shit!"
"Do you really want to know what getting shot in the knee feels like, friend?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 17, 2014, 04:23:38 pm
Post by: darkpaladin109 on March 17, 2014, 04:34:47 pm
Post by: Toaster on March 17, 2014, 07:50:53 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 18, 2014, 05:15:24 am
Go along with what this beaneejit wants.
Post by: Toaster on March 18, 2014, 08:26:03 am
Not that he'd say it like that. He'd just swear and tell people to get on with it.
Post by: Pancaek on March 18, 2014, 12:37:31 pm
Cast tasty yeti sphere high above the school roof. Ask for Trey to do the same with his methhead sphere.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 19, 2014, 11:36:49 am
"Fascinating. The dinosaurs, the shampoo, all of it must be either created from nearby elements or warped in from a different location in space or even time. Such actions would require more energy then man has produced over thousands of years. This energy must be coming from somewhere and the only logical source of such energy is a rift into a different dimension providing energy from there. However, initiating such a rift would take even more energy implying that someone or something on the other side opened the rift or rifts and all the crazy shit going on is ether a byproduct of dimensional instability or an exploitation of the influx of energy by sentient beings. The latter would mean that either the rift has been around for the several years it would take to learn about and exploit the energy it provides, or someone on the other side is teaching people here to utilize it."
Mr. Pilton nods along in a sagely fashion, grinning a little.
"Yep, that sure sounds plausible," he says. "Pretty logical, I guess. I don't think magic works like that, though."
* * * * *
Larry elects to remain silent in the face of this rather unfortunate set of circumstances. Halesey, on the other hand, remains tranquil, yet chatty.
"Yeah, totally have a phone."
"Hand it over," the beaneejit says, and Halesey complies. The creature dials 911 and tries to make a call.
"Yeah, 911, this is... somebody. I got a little problem and I need to fix it," the bean asks in a sinister tone. "What's my problem? You're asking me what my problem is?" it continues after a moment passes. "Let me ask you, what's your problem? What is your malfunction, you dispatcher prick? Why, I oughta... you know what, fuck you! Yeah, fuck you and alluya motherfuckers, you hear? You're my problem! Assholes asking questions they don't have to. Yeah. Yeah, fuck off already," it concludes, hanging up immediately after it's done speaking.
"Man, fuck these dispatch guys. You know what, I'm just gonna take you two to a hospital," the beaneejit says, beginning to drag his two bleeding captives away from the area, while the strange man simply disappears into thin air. The bean eventually pulls them over to a road and tries to stop a passing car.
Strangely enough, somebody stops at the floating, hairy bean with a gun and two bleeding bodies in tow - a middle-aged, mustached, balding individual in a panel van. He seems curious.
"Can I help you, sir?" he asks, grinning widely.
"Yeah, I need someone to take me over to the hospital to fix these two assholes I got with me right up. Can you do that?" the bean says with annoyance in its voice.
"Sure! You sure you wanna go to the hospital, though?" the guy says, looking Larry and Halesey over.
"I kinda need these mooks alive to get money," the bean says, somehow shrugging without shoulders.
"Oh! I can help with that!" the driver says and laughs, then snaps his fingers. Larry and Halesey are both hit with a pronounced feeling of excruciating pain, followed by the sudden awareness that both of their feet seem to be alright now! The bean looks surprised.
"How'd you do that?"
"Never mind that," the guy says, looking at Larry and Halesey. "You two wouldn't happen to be vendors of gentlemen's literature, would you? I've heard a bit about something like that going on in the area," he continues.
* * * * *
John decides upon a new plan after his latest experience.
"Not quite what I was going for, but cathartic at the very least. Let's step it up a notch, Trey, same thing, only try and cast it as high as you can above the school. Here's hoping their roof isn't that strong."
"Let's go," Trey says enthusiastically.
"Guess I'm the cheerleader, then? Eh, screw that, I'll just read the book," Luz grumbles, opening her tome of magic.
[John's affinity roll: 6-->6]
[Trey's affinity roll: 6-->3-1]
The two dudes look up at the sky righteously, and two solid black spots, almost invisible in the darkened, starless night sky of the city, appear out of nowhere - indeed, neither of the two mages would have noticed it had they not specifically willed them to be there. It is oddly satisfying to watch the spots grow closer and closer, and slightly disconcerting to see one of the spheres begin to disintegrate.
"Huh. Must not have secured them properly."
It takes a few minutes for the spheres to get close enough to truly appreciate their grandeur - the sight of hairy, rather appetizing-looking yetis (as frightening as that particular thought may be) packed up in a tight sphere followed by a disorganized bunch of methheads is indeed one of the stranger ones lately sighted by the people present.
"Hey, guys, I got Wave of... oh, look at that!" Luz suddenly says, tearing herself away from her literature and pointing at the incoming creatures. Mere seconds after she makes the fact known, the yeti sphere impacts the roof of the building with a thundering sound, the structure of the building collapsing inwards as the flesh of many succulent abominable snowmen is compacted against it with incredible force, creating a small shockwave and knocking up a whole lot of dust, which hardly has time to settle before the building is peppered with screaming, flailing methheads flying into it at terminal velocity, creating additional holes in the roof. Yet more gore splatters into the air as some methheads crash into the area around the building - John and friends are fortunately missed by the barrage, though they do get some bits on their clothes.
"Ew, man. I'm gonna have to wash these clothes pretty hard after the night is done, I think."
"Hopefully we won't catch anything."
What John is completely sure of, however, is that somebody definitely noticed that from inside the school - the sphere probably went through several floors from the sound of it, actually. It seems that the voice has not steered him wrong! Extreme magical violence does solve a great many problems! The fact that he can hear a bit of roaring from the now partially destroyed roof of the building is a little concerning, though.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 19, 2014, 12:15:13 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 19, 2014, 12:24:39 pm
"Why not? Magic is just science we haven't explained yet."
Mr. Pilton begins to say something, but abruptly stops.
"Well, it's really... nah, you know what? Follow me," he says, getting up from his spot and paying his date no mind. "I'd like to continue this discussion elsewhere, if you will."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 19, 2014, 12:47:15 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 19, 2014, 12:49:31 pm
Post by: darkpaladin109 on March 19, 2014, 12:53:19 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 19, 2014, 12:55:06 pm
"Crikey. Word gets around. I heard about them too. Who wants to know?"
"I've got a business proposition for you two guys. It kind of relates to the one you probably received a short while ago, actually."
"How do you know about that?"
"Unimportant!"
Post by: Pancaek on March 19, 2014, 04:25:10 pm
So, any ideas how we should go from here? Oh, and Luz, you were just starting to say something about your new spell?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 19, 2014, 04:43:05 pm
"That asshole will surely have noticed this. Nice work, Trey.
So, any ideas how we should go from here? Oh, and Luz, you were just starting to say something about your new spell?"
"We could bombard the shit out of the building until there's not much left. That's an option. Not like there are too many authorities in the neighborhood to try and stop us at this hour."
"Or we could try to move in. I've got Wave of Amazing Washing Machines, which does seem like the sort of thing you could blast out a door or a wall with."
Post by: Pancaek on March 19, 2014, 04:47:13 pm
Read magazine! Then gingerly move towards the building. If no Yeti's are to be seen, move inside. Let Trey and Luz take the lead if we go inside.
Post by: Toaster on March 19, 2014, 08:13:24 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 20, 2014, 04:08:03 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 23, 2014, 10:57:19 am
So, with that in mind, I ask the more frequent players (all 3 of them) as well as any other hypothetical people watching and playing in this, would anybody be really broken up if I just dropped the game? I'm having great trouble mustering up the energy to update it as-is, and I have abominably few ideas on continuation beyond the most immediate inklings. The creative well's gone a bit dry with the direction we've taken, and I get the feeling some of that ennui's bled into the player base as well. Opinions? Suggestions on what to improve in future attempts? Harsh critiques of poor planning? Anything else?
Post by: darkpaladin109 on March 23, 2014, 11:05:56 am
Decide an overarching plot first, then have missions base off of that.
I'l type up more later.
Post by: Pancaek on March 23, 2014, 11:27:06 am
FOr your next game, you should demand the adress of everyone who posts a sheet, and send a radioactive skunk to their house when they just stop posting.
Joking aside, I rather liked the sillyness of this one. I don't really have critiques that come to mind, as I said, I enjoyed the entire thing.
I'll be sure to try and join more of your games. Kingspawn is honestly a brilliant rtd. I've been laughing my ass off at some of the characters you came up with.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 23, 2014, 01:01:19 pm
Post by: Toaster on March 23, 2014, 01:18:36 pm
My suggestion would be to backburner it for a week and try to come up with the direction for it (with any retconning if needed.) If you spend that week doing everything you can to avoid working on it, it's probably time to put it to bed.
EDIT- Me and Halesey, at least, are potentially sitting on a plot hook.
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 23, 2014, 02:15:59 pm
I love the magic system and I love your writing and imagination. The magic system gives interesting spells that require some thinking and some persistence to be useful, that's what I like about it.
If you don't like the current plot, then you can always restart it as something different. If you're not enjoying GMing this then you should obviously not force yourself to do that.
I think one of the problems with this game is that not many players stuck around for some reason.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 23, 2014, 02:43:07 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on March 24, 2014, 02:00:05 am
Post by: lawastooshort on March 24, 2014, 04:37:25 am
Halesey's slow-but-actually-only-two-day descent into madness and incompetence actually very much accurately reflects what would probably happen were I to come into such power myself: struggle to control myself and not know what to do with it.
Still, if this is giving you existential problems then perhaps you should leave it. I hope you don't.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 07, 2014, 10:57:40 am
"You know something, fuck this door," Luz says.
[Luz's affinity roll: 3]
She waves her hand and suddenly a an absolutely magnificent washing machine, the very pinnacle of advanced laundry technology, materializes before her, flying slowly at the door! It impacts the gore-covered facade, and both the door and the metal shutter bend inwards quite a bit, and John can hear glass breaking rather loudly. Rather hilariously, they also hear an alarm sound.
"Okay, maybe that was not as impressive as it could have been."
* * * * *
Halesey and Larry converse with the new man, wondering what his relevance to them might be.
"Spit it out - at least you did something for us, unlike Captain Asshole Bean here," Larry says, prompting a pronouncedly mean look from the asshole mafibean.
"I wonder how many gut shots can our friend here heal. Don't you?"
Halesey, not deterred by the threat of violence against Larry, asks the most important of questions.
"Are these two offers mutually exclusive? And anyhow, you know what, this bunghole of a bean here has decided he's in charge, so I think we have some sort of problem."
"Alright, that's it. You're both getting kneecapped for this," the bean says, raising its organic hand cannon and aiming it at Larry first. However, the man in the van suddenly touches the villainous legume. A slight glow envelops it for a few moments, and it lowers the gun again.
"... what was I saying?" it asks after a moment.
"Right, so, the offers are sort of mutually exclusive - that fellow offered you money for literature, yes? Well, I can offer something better - favor. You see, I represent several wise, bearded men and women in important places that would be very pleased if none of this literature got into that other fellow's hands, yes? And to do this, you need only destabilize the dimensions in a very particular spot, no summoning of gentlemen's literature required. Create some vortexes in the area and all things should be wonderful. Interested?" the man says, his face beamish with tranquility.
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on April 07, 2014, 11:20:22 am
PS, hooray! i am pleased at this return.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 07, 2014, 11:25:32 am
Is "potato" an effect?
PS, hooray! i am pleased at this return.
No, 'potato' is an element.
Post by: Toaster on April 07, 2014, 12:14:59 pm
Foo Vortex
Evoke Foo
Foo Beam
Summon Foo
Blessing of Foo
Breath of Foo
...would be the effects?))
Larry grunts. "Get rid of this bean and I'll destabilize the shit out of whatever you want."
Post by: lawastooshort on April 07, 2014, 12:53:51 pm
Post by: Pancaek on April 07, 2014, 02:52:01 pm
"Well, might as well venture forth now. We'll have to grab that whatchamacallit your friend is trying to keep for herself some day."
Read the magazine. Then see if the door has been demolished enough to get inside.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 07, 2014, 05:45:00 pm
1. Why are you here and not someplace else?
1. I was bored. This looked like it might provide some entertainment. Or at least nice story.
2. What’s your name?
2. Eta, sort for Henrieta R. Hippo
3. What color do you identify yourself with?
3. Yellow with Red accents
4. Describe yourself.
4. Female, aged 35. Medium length curly red hair (dyed). Cat-eye glasses. Average height. Green/black clothes. British accent.
5. What do you like/love/enjoy?
5. Having fun, excitement, adventure, hearing (or living) a good story, meeting interesting people. Tea. Oh, and my looks.
6. What do you dislike/hate/fear?
6. Boredom. Being dead. People who take things too seriously or can't take a joke. Vegetables. Loosing my glasses.
7. In terms of occult or obscure power and knowledge, who would you like most to resemble (fictional people included)?
7. The Wizard of Yendor. In terms of power only. His lifestyle (even with the occasional adventurer-slaying) sounds rather boring.
| Stats: | |
| Body: | 0 |
| Finesse: | 1 |
| Mind: | 3 |
| Affinity: | 2 |
Not very original but whatever.
I'm guessing I'll be waiting in the waitlist until one of you disappears inside a storm of potato vortices?
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 07, 2014, 07:24:23 pm
"Of course. Come along Myles."
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 08, 2014, 12:44:07 pm
"Yeah, seconded. Well, within reason, I guess. Or just keep his gun out the way a second and we might be able to get ri- actually, yeah, get rid of him. He's kind of creepy."
The man in the van scratches his chin as the bean begins to raise the gun to its two friends again, and then suddenly touches his hand to the bean again. The bean lowers the gun again.
"Well, get in the van, I guess. I'll take you some distance away," he says, keeping his hand on the violent gangster legume.
* * * * *
"Well, might as well venture forth now. We'll have to grab that whatchamacallit your friend is trying to keep for herself some day," John says, feeling there's no reason to shy away from property damage now.
"Yeah. I think it needs another shot for good measure."
"Seems like it, yeah. Crack the whole damn thing open, eh?"
"Man, this feels so cathartic."
"You're telling me."
John, preparing for the next step in the master plan, opens up his book and takes a look!
[John's mind roll: 5]
The rather wonderful experience of blasting the everloving shit out of the school building seems to have loosened John up quite a bit, as he takes to magic like a fish takes to indiscriminate violence, which is to say very well indeed - all the spheres shall be his eventually, he decides, but for now, he settles for three, of which one is the luckiest!
Spoiler: John's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Meanwhile, Luz seems to be trying another good shot.
[Luz's affinity roll: 2+1]
Yet another washing machine flies at the door, this time securely dislodging the shutter and causing it to clatter to the ground noisily. The door looks as open as it is ever going to get.
* * * * *
Dave decides to take Monsieur Pilton up on his offer, and turns to his fine partner Myles.
"Of course. Come along, Myles."
Myles fails to respond, but he does come along, following Mr. Pilton out of Chez Ronardo's into a back alley, at which point it occurs to Dave that perhaps following a Satinist fabric-worshiper incubus lizardman into a dark alley isn't the brightest idea he's ever had. However, Mr. Pilton does look fairly harmless right now, so he guesses he's in the clear.
"So, magic. You want to know something about magic?" he says, then points at a nearby corner of the alley, and both Dave and Myles notice a bottle of shampoo appear where before there clearly was none. Yet more disturbingly, it seems to be singing the catchiest damned commercial jingle the two of them have ever heard, simultaneously evocative of all musical ear worms, yet feeling stylistically alien at the same time.
"That's magic, basically. Any questions?"
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on April 08, 2014, 12:52:45 pm
Hop in!
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 08, 2014, 01:44:08 pm
And I had also read the first post to make sure my character didn't have the same name and colour as someone else and I somehow missed wolfchild.
I really need to upgrade my RL Mind stat...
Surprisingly, a bit of searching (which translates to the first Google search result I clicked) revealed a Canadian website named Tea Oh. Didn't knew Canada produced tea. Second search result is a company selling the toxic substance "Tetramethylammonium hydroxide" as TEAOH.))
Post by: lawastooshort on April 08, 2014, 01:57:50 pm
But surely for now, the foul beandemon he'd somehow spawned was too powerful for him.
He slammed the van door shut.
Get in too.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 08, 2014, 02:05:00 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 08, 2014, 02:43:21 pm
"Just two. Where did that singing bottle of shampoo come from and how does its presence disprove my theory?"
"I conjured it, and it's more of a hypothesis, isn't it? And I guess it doesn't, you know, but who cares. Thing is, there's magic. You want some? It's good stuff, let me tell you. You'll never know how you lived without it."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 08, 2014, 02:58:08 pm
Post by: darkpaladin109 on April 08, 2014, 03:06:05 pm
Post by: Pancaek on April 08, 2014, 03:25:54 pm
"No time like the present. Nice work on the door, by the way. Now, on to our objective! Lead the way!"
Read the magazine, again! Enter the building, and let the kids lead the way
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 09, 2014, 06:50:42 am
"But where did you conjure it from and how?"
"Magic."
"Hm, I am shall we say, rather taken by magic. But I shall never accept it from the likes of you."
"Now that's not a nice thing to say. But I'll let it slide for now. Sure you don't want any magic?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 09, 2014, 12:14:58 pm
"Come back here, you motherfuckers!" the bean screams, and shots are fired. Three bullets fly into the van, one whizzing past Halesey and Larry, one nearly rupturing the water bed and the last one flying into the windshield, only narrowly missing the van guy. Oh dear. Nevertheless, the van manages to speed off in a perfectly decent fashion, tearing down the freeway a little faster than you'd expect from a vehicle this large and evocative of dirty hippies.
"You know what, guys, I think we might be home free! And since you so kindly agreed to help me out already, I guess I'll just drop you off in the neighborhood you need to be in, 'kay? What you need to do is go into the neighborhood church and summon up a whole lot of vortexes. Say, eight. In close proximity. More variety is appreciated, but not necessary. We should be there... right about now!" the guy tells them after a while, then the van stops and the rear doors slowly open. "Any questions?"
* * * * *
"But where did you conjure it from and how? Also, yeah, some magic sounds good," Dave says, caving a little to the promise of arcane power from Sir Pilton.
"Magic, and here you go," he says, throwing a matchbook at Dave, who utterly fails to catch it as it flops against his chest, then falls to the ground.
Myles, however, is not so easily enticed.
"Hm, I am shall we say, rather taken by magic. But I shall never accept it from the likes of you."
"Now that's not a nice thing to say. But I'll let it slide for now. Sure you don't want any magic? I think your buddy's liking it fine," says Kermit, looking at Dave examining the matchbook and finding it to be, for all intents and purposes, fairly regular-looking, which goes double for the matches within.
"Strike a match and look into the flame, buddy. I warn you, it's a bit of a trip."
* * * * *
John isn't sure his magic is quite optimal for the situation, but nevertheless urges his teenaged friends onward, as they are more fleshy and expendable than he and probably better equipped by the bizarre pop culture of today's youth to deal with yetis anyway.
Then again, John may or may not have seen Night of the Sasquatch once, so he may have a trump card there. But no! He shall bravely stay in the back, he decides!
"No time like the present. Nice work on the door, by the way. Now, on to our objective! Lead the way!" he says.
"I'll take the lead, I guess. I'm the one with all the offensive magic, anyway."
"I don't know, my magic's pretty dang offensive when it works."
"And that, I'm afraid, is pretty rarely."
Trey just nods as John buries his face in that evil book of his again.
[John's mind roll: 3]
He stays only a moment, and catches only one spell, 'cause it's only one spell that he needs, baby. One spell to rule them all.
Spoiler: John's Awesome New Spell (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 09, 2014, 12:54:38 pm
I look into the flames of creation.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 09, 2014, 12:59:15 pm
((How many matches are there?))
Seventeen!
Post by: lawastooshort on April 09, 2014, 01:27:29 pm
Post by: Toaster on April 09, 2014, 01:28:42 pm
Post by: Pancaek on April 09, 2014, 01:30:12 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 09, 2014, 02:18:49 pm
"Yes - who wants these vortexes, and who doesn't want them, if you're able to say?"
"Everybody wants vortexes. But the bad guys want the gentlemen's literature. Don't give them any, it's a bit hazardous to do that. Can you remember that?"
"Between us we have two different vortexes; is that enough?"
"Yeah. You don't need much variety - just a bit of destabilization. The higher realms are pretty, erm, what would be the best word... "close" to the lower realms in the church."
"Well, it's something. Hey, guys, where abouts is that thing you're looking for? Because I'm not really feeling like exploring the entire school. You know, angry groundskeepers and tasty yeti's and such."
"Can you sense the leyline? I can't sense jack shit for some reason. Try it. Maybe you'll have better luck. If you're magical, you probably should be able to."
Post by: lawastooshort on April 09, 2014, 02:42:55 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 09, 2014, 02:46:44 pm
I look into the flames of creation.
Post by: Pancaek on April 09, 2014, 02:54:41 pm
Try to sense the leyline. If I can, head over to it. If I cannot, start searching the school for it!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on April 09, 2014, 03:56:54 pm
Post by: darkpaladin109 on April 09, 2014, 04:06:31 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on April 09, 2014, 04:14:39 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 10, 2014, 01:31:27 am
"Hm, I might accept your offer. But first, give me a good reason to accept it."
"Well, the other guys you could get it from will probably screw you over. Besides, it's not like you're bound to my service by them or anything."
Post by: darkpaladin109 on April 10, 2014, 05:20:27 am
"Alright, fine. I accept now.""Hm, I might accept your offer. But first, give me a good reason to accept it."
"Well, the other guys you could get it from will probably screw you over. Besides, it's not like you're bound to my service by them or anything."
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 10, 2014, 05:40:55 am
"Alright, fine. I accept now."
He throws you a matchbook as well. This one seems to have twenty matches in it.
Post by: darkpaladin109 on April 10, 2014, 05:46:16 am
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 10, 2014, 08:58:18 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 10, 2014, 02:00:56 pm
[Dave's mind roll: 2+2]
The flame grows larger as Dave stares into it, filling his vision, his nostrils burning with the heady smoke of the match. His eyes go out of focus momentarily, and when he regains his composure, he notices he seems to be in some kind of gray room, sitting behind a desk. In front of him seems to be a plain box with a lock on it. Instinctively, he reaches for the key he immediately notices in front of him on the desk and plunges it into the box, then turns - doing this, fortunately, seems to disengage the lock. However, when Dave opens the box, it doesn't really open all the way - it seems to have a chain on the inside keeping it mostly shut anyway. But the short peek he gets at the contents of the thing is indeed exciting, and at least a tiny part of them spills into his mind, enriching him with secrets beyond human understanding, but certainly within the realm of human usability.
Spoiler: Dave's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Myles, not one to fall behind even despite his initial reservations, goes ahead and follows Dave's example (he seems to be having a lot of fun, judging from his wild, slightly glassy stare and faint grin), striking a match and staring into the bright pink flame the match seems to create.
[Myles' mind roll: 3+1]
The flame overtakes his every sense up to the point, and feels rather nasty and carcinogenic on all his mucous membranes up until the point where all feelings stop entirely - instead, Myles finds himself in a dark void, with a single, dimly glowing lightbulb hovering above his head and bathing him and what seems to be a liquor cabinet in front of him in a murky yellow light. Since there's nothing else he can really think to do in the situation, the lightbulb seeming rather out of reach presently, Myles shrugs and opens up the liquor cabinet. Inside there seems to be an open bottle with a blank label, containing a bluish liquid. Underneath it is a note that only says "XD".
The fact that the bottle seems to be open already does not fill Myles with a whole lot of optimism. But suddenly he catches a whiff of the contents - they smell like heaven somehow, and not at all of cheap window cleaner as Myles would expect. As he ponders the implications of it, he notices his hand go for the bottle unthinkingly, and before he knows it, he has raised the bottle to his lips. The bottle, evidently disturbed to an unhealthy degree by the sudden movement, begins to shake, and the liquid within comes to a boil, shooting a generous helping of fumes in Myles' face - before he even knows it, arcane secrets creep into his mind, two tiny bits of practical knowledge vying for a single spot in his brain.
Spoiler: Myles' Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
John supposes he should certainly be magical enough to sense whatever magical whatsit a leyline might be. He raises his nose in the air and tries to hear the magical currents for a moment before realizing that you probably can't sense magic that way. Instead he supposes he should just head in the direction that makes his body tingle all over.
"Right, this way."
"Let's go," Luz concurs, and Trey follows silently as John leads them into the school, heading through the hallways and, rather shockingly, running into neither ravenous yetis (the only ones they do see look more confused than anything, really, and are bypassed without issue) nor the asshole night watchman right up until the moment John leads the two teenagers into the gaping hole that he and Trey made in the building - strangely, the leyline, the tingly little patch of reality that John's body seems to be receiving all sorts of odd alarm bells about, it appears to be up in the air - about two stories above the hole in the roof. And the aforementioned gaping hole not only seems to span at least twelve average-sized classrooms (four on each floor the spheres penetrated), not only is there quite a lot of gore, fur and who knows what else lying around everywhere, but the yetis at the bottom of the pit seem to be rather enraged about the strange dusty clouds, strange denture-filled, swirling holes in reality and crawling slimes that seem to be trying to ruin their day.
And inside the wreckage of one of the top floor classrooms the three notice the night watchman, looking rather pissed and gesturing dramatically at the yetis below. Some of the yetis seem to be trying to climb upwards to get at him with a reasonable amount of success so far, quite surprising when one pays attention to the fact that the area around the man seems absolutely filled with both the sucking denture holes and nebulous clouds of uncertain origin.
Neither the yetis nor the night watchman seem to have properly noticed John and his two teenaged confederates yet, though it seems questionable that such a situation could possibly last for too long.
Post by: Toaster on April 10, 2014, 02:11:27 pm
Hop out and head toward the church!
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 10, 2014, 02:22:11 pm
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 10, 2014, 02:46:18 pm
Post by: darkpaladin109 on April 10, 2014, 02:49:33 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on April 10, 2014, 02:49:46 pm
((Oh hey, we never actioned!))
((er whoops))
Follow! Enter the church without extreme prejudice yet.
Storm of Distracting Underwear.
((oh god possibly a spell to rival my favourite))
Post by: Toaster on April 10, 2014, 02:51:51 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on April 10, 2014, 02:52:57 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 10, 2014, 03:00:15 pm
((With the new lay line rules do we still get a stat point?))
You have six stat points, and I'm reasonably sure you put them all in Mind, right? Six points in the beginning still applies, I think.
((Fuse Demons sounds neat, if likely dangerous. Before I'd choose my spell, how common are demons?))
That's for me to know and you to find out.
Halesey and Larry hop on out of the van and head out into the neighborhood without so much as a hearty "smell ya later!" to their benefactor. The church is not too far away - a couple of blocks at best. And the neighborhood doesn't look too terrible, either - it's one of the more affluent suburbs in town, it seems. And the church, a whitewashed wooden idyllic affair, looks to be in stupendously good condition. Before they can enter, though, they are stopped by a unplaceably foreign woman wearing a peculiarly Edwardian dress and a very incongruous top hat decorated with finely-trimmed begonias.
"I say, you two! You look familiar!" she says in a sing-song voice, her speech heavily and non-specifically accented. "You're those two fellows with the gen-lit, aren't you?"
Post by: lawastooshort on April 10, 2014, 03:01:43 pm
Also, who the hell is this, Toaster? I don't recall))
edit:
"Er, are you a nun?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 10, 2014, 03:02:22 pm
((OH CRAP WHAT'S THE IN-GAME TIME, HB?))
Sometime around noon. Maybe the very early afternoon?
Post by: darkpaladin109 on April 10, 2014, 03:03:08 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on April 10, 2014, 03:03:18 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 10, 2014, 03:13:35 pm
"Er, are you a nun?"
"Not even close, boyo! If I was a nun, I could hardly afford to give you one million, two hundred twenty three thousand five hundred six dollars and sixty-seven cents if you do something for me. But I can and will, so there you go. I'm sure you've heard a similar offer at least once before today, yeah?" she says, looking rather jittery.
Post by: lawastooshort on April 10, 2014, 03:16:25 pm
"Ohgoodgodshe'sanotherdemon. We need to strike first this time. Plus she's Welsh - careful. On three... one, feckshiteTHREE"
Extreme potato vortex in HER FACE
((unless Toaster stops me first))
Post by: Xantalos on April 10, 2014, 03:31:30 pm
Spoiler: DUNK (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on April 10, 2014, 03:34:21 pm
"Wha... Oh THAT again?"
If the potato vortex fails to dispose of the interloper, hit it with the Alkaline Trouser Golem Beam!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 10, 2014, 03:38:03 pm
I meant they each got one stat point when they found the Lay line so does that still happen.((With the new lay line rules do we still get a stat point?))You have six stat points, and I'm reasonably sure you put them all in Mind, right? Six points in the beginning still applies, I think.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 10, 2014, 03:39:25 pm
Mind 2
Affinity 6
Critical error! Too many feckin' points for puny mortal! Decrease by two or face humiliating rejection!
It's okay otherwise, I guess.
I meant they each got one stat point when they found the Lay line so does that still happen.
Ayup. The basic gist of it is unchanged.
Post by: Xantalos on April 10, 2014, 03:40:31 pm
Post by: Pancaek on April 10, 2014, 04:10:58 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on April 10, 2014, 04:17:46 pm
right disgusting magic"
((my favourite kind))
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 11, 2014, 11:15:53 am
[Dave's affinity roll: 1-->3-1]
"STORM OF DISTRACTING UNDERWEAR!" Dave screams, outstretching his pasty hand to the heavens powerfully and beckoning the power to overtake him! The night sky clouds up a little, and suddenly a lightning bolt shoots down from the heavens, striking Dave square in the hand, an event that is met with more screaming and wiggling on his part as magical fire courses through his body until settling squarely into his groin region. Fearful of what may happen next, Dave closes his eyes and inadvertently mutters a prayer to one of the lesser-known gods of the furthest realms of human thought before clenching his teeth. This is going to suck, he thinks.
And yet somehow it seems to blow instead! To be perfectly accurate, his pants suddenly explode, disintegrating in a mystical, sorcerous light as Dave's as of yet unspecified undergarment, which seems to have alchemically transmuted itself into a mighty, amazingly tight magenta speedo of intensely rubbery texture, violently detaches itself from its former owner's unworthy legs and shoots off into the distance, tearing through several solid brick walls in its low-angle flight before sailing off into the sky, audibly and visibly twinkling before seemingly disappearing forevermore, leaving Dave without so much as a pair of pants, shoes or even a covering for his waist.
Myles, currently staring at the mighty magical presence Dave seems to be displaying, seems to have gone a little green in the face with magical envy. Monsieur Pilton slowly claps at the spectacle before him, face blank and eyes wide.
* * * * *
It takes Halesey a moment to realize what's going on, but now he is fairly certain this lady is probably a demon and thus likely to try and nibble on his soul and dreams for giggles. He turns to Larry and begins to whisper surreptitiously.
"Ohgoodgodshe'sanotherdemon. We need to strike first this time. Plus she's Welsh - careful. On three... one, feckshiteTHREE."
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->2]
Before the lady or, indeed, Larry, can say a single word, the dimensions screech and scratch as a hole is suddenly punched right in the lady's face - but not just any hole! It is the fabled extreme potato vortex of whispered rumors and horrifying bedside tales, a gateway to a dimension where the laws sane men obey are as unknown as anything else not made of or centered around potatoes!
[Demon Lady's body roll: 6-->4]
[Larry's body roll: 1-->5-1]
[Halesey's body roll: 6-->3]
The demon lady doesn't seem overly bothered, and merely gestures frustratedly at the two men. Halesey, in turn, beholds the storied miracle of the unholy vortexface with true reverence, paying no mind to the fact that Larry appears to be rapidly getting sucked into it! Larry, who realizes that it is up to him and only him to avert a repeat of the previous time he was left to face tubery doom, tries to muster up a mighty golem beam at the terrible Welsh demon just as he ventures into the interval of distances between himself and the lady normally only reserved for uncomfortable bus rides and sloppy makeouts.
[Larry's affinity roll: 4+1]
[Larry's finesse roll: 5+1
And even Larry could not miss at this distance, blasting the lady with an alkaline trouser golem beam right in the abdomen, blasting her and her hideous potato vortexface down the entire length of the street, her body smashing into a garage about a hundred meters away. Larry, having narrowly avoided the very real possibility of getting sucked through a face-hole that was definitely too small to accommodate a man of his girth, falls to his knees, beholding the trail of trouser golems stretching down the entire road. Wonder if the school bus will even bother to pull into this street now.
* * * * *
John guesses it's time to do a right and proper team huddle, minus the huddling because the other teams seem to be busy trying to make each other regret their respective existences.
"Alright, guys. There's that prick being attacked by yetis. He's got some right disgusting magic, though. How do you guys think we should handle this? Do you think you could hurl your fridges all the way up there?"
"Washing machines. And I dunno. Let's check."
[Luz's affinity roll: 2]
Luz points her finger out at the night watchman, who appears to be currently summoning up more, even more powerful denture-holes to impede the yetis only one floor below, but no magic seems to come out. In other news, the power of one particular hole seems to put quite the damper on the yetis' attempts, pulling most of them right off the structure and simply disappearing them within its clacking, artificial mass like so many undesirable agitators.
"Hey, I've got an idea."
[Trey's affinity roll: 1-->2-1]
Suddenly, a whole mountain of cans materializes! Unfortunately, it seems to do so right above Trey, immediately tumbling down on him!
[Trey's body roll: 6-->3-1]
Trey stands stock still as the avalanche of cans washes over him, outstretching his arms and screaming shrilly as the unspeakably sharp edges and chemically irritating sealant lacerate his skin and cause terrible rashes! He screams at the top of his lungs for a good twenty seconds before he seems to run out of breath and go hoarse at the same time.
"Goddamn, that hurt way more than expected! That spell's pretty good, you guys."
Meanwhile, the night watchman seems to have finally properly noticed the three arrivals now that the immediate threat of the yetis seems to have been nullified.
"You!" he shouts, looking at John. "And you two! I should have known!" he continues yelling, pointing at Trey and Luz.
* * * * *
This town sure has gotten quite a bit less boring lately, one has to admit. From the dinosaur and shampoo monsoons, to mysterious vortexes popping up at all sorts of inappropriate places, to rumors of creatures never before seen by human eyes wandering the streets. It's only by reminding herself that all of the aforementioned things, in addition to being quite mysterious and new, also probably hold the very reasonable ability of making her very, very dead that one Henrieta R. Hippo, though known for quite a while now as Eta instead, manages to stay inside, as the authorities very heartily seem to recommend, to any degree whatsoever. Well, that and the increasingly tenuous grasp of a nice cup of tea.
But her increasing stir-craziness is not the important fact right now. Of more interest is the strange happenstance of not twenty seconds ago, a rather sudden moment of sound, fury and magnificence, and also extreme property damage. An object of purest magenta and mightiest purpose, something Eta might have mistaken for a meteorite were it not for the fact that it seemed to be flying in a more upwards-tending direction than meteorites normally are known to, and that her entire apartment stinks of slightly burnt rubber now. Whatever it was, it seemed to tear a rather messy hole through most of her bathroom fixtures in its destructive path, blasted a hole in her living room wall, completely wrecked her rather nice TV and straight-up incinerated a large part of her bookcase's upper portion before bursting into the next apartment and probably not harming it to any significant degree. The apartment right above that one, though, was probably another story entirely. And what's more, Eta seems to have spilled quite a bit of her tea on the floor as a result of the fuss.
All this seems to lend quite a bit of credence to the idea that maybe the authorities were talking out of their ass a little when they said that she might be safe indoors.
Post by: darkpaladin109 on April 11, 2014, 11:20:35 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 11, 2014, 11:21:31 am
Cast Evilize Booze on any nearby booze.
You don't have any on you, and you don't see any bums you could steal any from nearby. Must have been eaten by the dinosaurs.
Post by: Toaster on April 11, 2014, 11:25:26 am
Larry cheers. "Suck on that, demon-bitch!"
Go evoke mucus all over her until she falls in her own face!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on April 11, 2014, 11:38:17 am
John turn to the watchman
"Yes! Us! We have come for your
Post by: darkpaladin109 on April 11, 2014, 11:42:09 am
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on April 11, 2014, 11:50:46 am
Yeah! Although I should seek clarification as to the status of her eyes under all that potato vortex, I guess.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 11, 2014, 12:42:01 pm
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 11, 2014, 03:46:40 pm
Quote
The apartment right above that one, though, was probably another storey entirely.((FTFY))
"Why, that was rather... unexpected." Eta said to no one in particular. "Someone could had been hurt."
She inspected her cup of tea. The dust covering it (much like everything else in the room) had attained was rather unappealing.
Well, there's a good cup of tea I won't be drinking.
She set it down on whatever nearby furniture was left standing and stood up.
Eta peeked through the holes the magenta meteorite menace had created on the walls of her once beutiful apartment, looking for anything of interest. Specifically, she tried to determine the origin of the rubbery projectile and whether or not any more were likely to come her way. After all, if some unsavory individual was bombarding her appartment or if some sort of rubbery apocalypse was taking place (not impossible, given the events of the past few days), it would be prudent to evacuate the premises and seek cover. Or perhaps I can find whoever is responsible for this disaster and... well, we'll see about that.
Look through the holes (both of them) for anything of interest. Try to determine what was the cause of the destruction and whether or not any more projectiles are incoming.
Also, glance at the bookcase, ensure it is no longer on fire. It wouldn't do to have what's left of my house burn down.
I sure hope my insurance covers overturned meteorites.
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Nunzillor on April 11, 2014, 07:13:49 pm
Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
Put me on the waitlist, please. Let me know if there any issues with the character.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 12, 2014, 02:40:10 pm
[Larry's body roll: 3-1]
By the time he gets there, though, the lady seems to have successfully risen off the ground and begun to float in his direction in a very subdued manner, her expression quite unreadable due to the potato vortex consuming her face. Halesey, meanwhile, attempts to conjure another barrier of hairy mafiosi.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->4]
And he does indeed manage to create a protective criminal cordon of impressive proportions and formidability! Turtling up in the embrace of his hairy guardians, Halesey follows in Larry's footsteps, eventually reaching his compatriot just as he intends to unleash a mighty mucus avalanche on their mutual adversary!
[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->2]
His sinuses begin to tickle as the magic flows through him, and in all the excitement Larry completely forgets that he shouldn't put his hands in front of his mouth as he lets loose an eldritch sneeze of unspeakable filthiness! Fortunately, the power of the snot blast that follows easily sweeps his hand aside, but the inherent ew-ness of this is enough to give Larry more than a little pause even as the mucus flies toward the woman and, strangely enough, is sucked in entirely by the vortex, which appears to selectively increase in power for that exact moment! Not a single drop of the hideous discharge even touches her! Well, maybe a few drops do, but they seem to get absorbed again.
[Larry's body roll: 4-1]
And for a moment there, he feels himself slowly slide toward the demon until the vortex resumes its peculiar harmlessness! For some reason, this disconcerts him greatly! But then the barrier of hairy thugs that has shuffled up to his position parts, Halesey emerging from his mafioso shell and showing the demon one of the centerfolds! That familiar flame envelops the lady, her body burning without smoke and leaving no ash, vortex included! She does not even make much of a sound apart from a low hiss and a sharp crackle as her form disintegrates before the two wizards' very eyes! The demonic temptress tried to steer them from the right path, and now she is vanquished! Score one for the good guys!
* * * * *
John believes that some adjustment of strategy may be in order, and calls for yet another huddle, but more secret this time.
"Shit, I think he saw us. Alright, I'll handle talking to him. Trey, do you think you could cast that avalanche spell again? And Luz, do you think you can cast methhead sphere around him? You know, in case he decides to be a prick and won't cooperate."
"I can't do methhead spheres. That's Trey."
"That does sound like a good idea, though."
Huddle complete and plans made, John turns back to the watchman, clearing his throat and commencing the typical announcement of intent.
"Yes! Us! We have come for your leyline! Hand it over willingly and no one needs to get hurt!"
"How about I just put the three of you fuckers into the salty denture dimension? Bet you'd like that!" the unpleasant ginger shouts maliciously, then begins to move his arms in a menacing fashion.
[Trey's affinity roll: 5-1]
A small sphere of methheads suddenly materializes around him, however! And even though it falls apart within moments, the sudden proximity of the most unsavory city dwellers known to man is enough to give the ol' fellow a moment's pause, but no longer!
[Luz's affinity roll: 1-->3]
Luz's attempt at attack goes no better, as a top-of-the-range washing machine suddenly appears in front of her and seems to slowly, yet powerfully fly in her direction!
[Luz's body roll: 1-->4]
She is swept off her feet as the washing machine smashes into her, and the girl cries out as the bulk of the appliance lands on her and begins to rather rapidly crush her!
"Shit! Luz!" Trey yells and quickly moves to shove the thing off his girlfriend, giving the watchman all the time in the world to try and muster up a spell at the people who may or may not have cost him a pretty cushy job tonight.
[Night Watchman's affinity roll: 1-->5+1]
He gestures and gestures, but doesn't seem able to conjure whatever he is trying to conjure, probably that denture hole he was talking about earlier, at his enemies. Fortunately, they seem to be doing rather nicely at killing themselves presently, so he guesses it's all good. And the methheads around him seem remarkably peaceful and confused. Rather nice, all in all.
* * * * *
Myles guesses he needs a drink if he wants to check if this magic tripe will work out as poorly for him as it seems to be doing for Dave. And so he embarks on a quest for alcohol that takes him out of the alley and into the street, where he finds that all of the respectable liquor stores (and this part of the city, also known as the Classy Side of Town, only hosts respectable establishments of that sort, naturally) seem to be closed, while all the bars and clubs he manages to approach seem to have suspended non-regular (or, in the case of clubs, uninvited) access, or so say the signs in front of the doors and the large, immaculately-groomed bouncers in front of the doors.
However, as Myles wanders frustratedly down the streets, he notices a fellow in an expensive suit sitting on a bench at a bus stop, sipping from a dark glass bottle and occasionally checking his watch. He wonders if his powers would work on that, and whether it would be advisable to experiment with booze somebody is already drinking.
Dave, meanwhile, understands that bottomless is definitely no way to be in this modern world of restrictively conservative mores, and tries to summon up a distracting underwear storm to provide much-needed garments to himself.
[Dave's affinity roll: 4-1]
And though a storm fails to appear, he does manage to summon up a pair of underwear! And lo, it is glorious - a leopard-print C-string covered in what appears to be glitter, in fact. Mr. Pilton looks quite amused.
"Man, you remind me of Nate. What a guy he was. You probably don't want to overdo it with the casting, though. You don't seem to be really... open to it, so to speak. Kind of easy to see it in your movements, really. But yes. Anyhow, I've got a task for you. See, you have your matches and you've got the basic methods down. What I want you and also your partner to do is to get yourselves a whole list of spells, as many as you can, and then call my secretary in the morning. He'll steer you in the right direction. I assume you know how to reach him, right?" he says, looking questioningly at Dave.
* * * * *
Eta, not overly terribly disturbed by the apocalypse basically getting harbinged pretty hard in her apartment, sets down her tea on the unharmed coffee table in front of her, then gets up and commences an investigation undoubtedly reminiscent of the examination her insurance provider (recent events in the city have turned insurance into a very sorry business to be in already, honestly) will try to conduct within the next few days. That is, unless they just tell her to piss off instead, like she suspects they might have done to many other people this week with similar issues.
First, she looks through the holes, and finds that the object that tore through her apartment seems to have indeed traveled in a straight line - the outgoing hole gives her less of a nice view of her neighbors' apartments than one might have expected, and instead offers a rather small window to the dark sky. The ingoing hole, however, provides a different view entirely - Eta isn't entirely sure, but she thinks she can actually see people through the hole - far-off people in that alley behind Chez Ronardo's, if her topological skills haven't failed her. And those people seem to have very little in terms of destruction about them, though she does get the feeling that one of the fellows may be lacking in pants of any kind - it's a little difficult to see from this distance, but this is what she suspects. Not exactly par for the course at this particular hour and this particular lunar phase, but still not exactly a cause for great concern.
As for the somewhat good news, Armageddon does not appear to be in progress, and her bookcase is not so on fire that she cannot extinguish it in a matter of seconds.
Post by: darkpaladin109 on April 12, 2014, 02:49:45 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on April 12, 2014, 02:59:03 pm
So rambling in his approaching madness, Halesey doth turn back to the church, accompanied by his numerous hairy mafioso, there to do vortexing.
Go to the church. Stand, say, 25 feet away from it, where I can't be seen from the street. Cast Potato Vortex at the church. Then cast it again, at the same spot.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 12, 2014, 03:49:40 pm
Post by: Pancaek on April 12, 2014, 04:58:25 pm
Cast detonate methhead on the methheads around the watchman, then go help get the washing machine off of Luz
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 12, 2014, 06:43:06 pm
There were no holes or other signs of destruction near the people there, at least none that she could see. So whatever caused this strange event must have originated from that alley. Which means that those individuals might have seen something... if they weren't directly responsible. Somehow.
Well, she had no time to call the police. They might be gone untill they get here (if the police responded to her call in the first place). Not to mention that if she did that, she would be missing out on an opportunity for adventure.
If I'm going to get to the bottom of this, I'm going to have to do some investigating of my own.
That way, Eta also got to satisfy her curiosity. Certainly better (and more interesting) than spending the night looking for a place to sleep that has no holes in it. Way better than watching television and drinking tea.
I sincerely hope it doesn't rain. Eta thought, looking at the night sky through the exit hole. Alas, given my luck, it probably will. And it will probably be that strange bubbly rain too.
Grab the sturdiest umbrella I can find (and wear temperature-appropriate clothing if necessary) and make my way to that alley as quickly as possible. See if the men are still there. I have to get to the bottom of this!
Keep an eye out for anything strange on the way there.
Post by: Toaster on April 12, 2014, 10:14:23 pm
"Damn skippy. Let's vortex this bitch."
Start casting S-C Vortex at various spots on the church.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 13, 2014, 04:02:09 am
However, nothing seems to happen for some reason. Myles wonders if magic's supposed to feel like that, or if something might have gone wrong. Fortunately, this puzzlement lasts only a moment, as the man is kind enough to immediately confirm that the latter scenario has definitely come to pass, examining his bottle for a moment before looking around, his dull, watery, pale red eyes settling on Myles.
"Trying to magic up my drink, aren't you?" he unexpectedly asks, and half-stands, half-floats to his feet, pointing the bottle at Myles. "I was just looking for one of you types, actually! C'mere," he says, approaching Myles in a mildly ominous fashion. "I want to tell you something."
* * * * *
Outside the church, Halesey and Larry are having one of their regular afternoon conversations.
"Larry, we should get back to the church and vortex it to oblivion before any of her friends show up. They are going to be pissed if they find out what we did to her. But it was the right thing to do, right. She could have kneecapped us too, the little fecker. I think the last few people... things we've met have shown us the reality of this new world. It's brutal, like tigers and antelopes. We need to stick together, and when we do anything, we have to do it really fecking hard, no questions. Unless that question be, dude, should we vortex the shit out of this eejit, and the answer to yon question be, shit yes dude, let's vortex hard," Halesey posits.
"Damn skippy. Let's vortex this bitch," Larry agrees, and the two move on to the obligatory second stage of all their afternoon conversations.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5]
[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->1+1]
Practically synchronously there appear two vortexes, one of unhallowed potato borne, the other of champignons most damp and foul! The latter grows more quickly than the other, and its pull proves a little difficult for the two summoners to resist!
[Larry's body roll: 5-1]
[Halesey's body roll: 4]
Fortunately, with their levels of vortex mastery, none of their creations pose any threat to the two dudes! So they continue their summoning unabated!
[Larry's affinity roll: 2+1]
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->1]
Larry begins summoning another champignon-filled wound in spacetime, but does not get very far before he notices the tubery fire in Halesey's eyes! The thought of stepping away a bit occurs to him, but it comes far too late and without the requisite rodent instinct to facilitate rapid relocation! And so he can only watch as another vortex appears inside the one already there, and for a moment, space goes incredibly wonky in the area, twisting this way and that, before the two vortexes fuse into a single, massive, sucking maw about the size of a house, covering the entirety of the front of the building!
[Larry's body roll: 1-->5-1]
[Halesey's body roll: 3]
Both the summoners instantly find themselves in what people better-versed in science fiction would term a 'gravity well', and within seconds Larry is practically within spitting distance of the thing, his legs far too weak from the hundred-meter jog of mi to save him from the treacherous vortexward acceleration! Halesey does a little better, though he is also dangerously close to losing his footing!
* * * * *
After looking at the hole in the upscale apartment building he just made and deeming it all right and proper, Dave quickly puts on his new C-string, finding it oddly evocative of a single maple leaf in many ways, and finally decides to light another green light and look within.
[Dave's mind roll: 5+2]
This time, he winds up in the very same room, except there's no desk. Instead, he spies a banana hanging from the elevated ceiling on a piece of string, and also a single heavy crate in the corner. Looks like a puzzle, Dave thinks, and the solution is plainly obvious, so he ambles over to the crate and opens, finding to his satisfaction that there seems to be a lifetime supply of shurikens within. Grabbing a handful, he begins throwing them at the piece of string - fortunately, it does not require too much skill, as the string is fairly long and thin, and merely lobbing a shuriken at it seems to remove the banana from the ceiling's grasp, at which point it impacts the floor loudly, cracking the marble tiling a little. Seeing no other logical path of action, Dave walks over to the banana, picks it up and peels it, only to find that there is no sweet fulfillment within, only arcane secrets that waft into his brain, filling it with disturbing information!
Spoiler: Dave's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
John is displeased by the way the battle seems to be going.
"Shit, Luz! Trey, focus on gettin that thing off. I'll be there in a second!" John says before turning back to the watchman.
"Working on it!" Trey shouts back.
[John's affinity roll: 2]
John, however, can't seem to get the methheads around the watchman explode in all this excitement and anxiety, so he guesses he'll just go help Trey.
[Trey's body roll: 4-1]
[John's body roll: 6-->1]
Miscalculating the necessary distance, John straight-up rams into the washing machine as Trey feebly tries to push it off his girlfriend, upending it and successfully removing it from atop Luz, at which point the girl breathes in with blissful relief. John, meanwhile, gets the feeling that this maneuver he just did will hurt quite a bit more in the morning than it does now, and he can't say it feels awfully pleasant right now, either! If John had to venture a guess, he would say that he's probably fractured his arm in at least one place with the charge.
What's more, despite the washing machine having been taken off her, Luz still looks to be in a considerable amount of pain.
"Oh god, I think my ribs might be broken," she mutters to herself.
[Night Watchman's affinity roll: 3+1]
And things are then, in a shocking twist, made significantly worse when a vortex made of clacking, meaty-looking dentures suddenly appears right next to them, exerting more than a slightly uncomfortable pull on them all!
[John's body roll: 1-->3]
[Trey's body roll: 6-->4-1]
[Luz's body roll: 6-->4-1+1]
John is rather blindsided by the sudden appearance of the vortex, and would have been sucked in within seconds were it not for his two teenaged friends, with Luz grabbing on to his leg while Trey pulls him away by the arm, dragging him to a safer distance. John is rather glad, because he did not want to find out what unholy dimension of salty dentures that might have led to.
"How'd you like that, assholes? Want some more?" the night watchman sneers at them from his high perch.
* * * * *
After spending a moment cleverly rationalizing about why exactly she's going to go outside and have a looksie at what's going on, Eta quickly gets her coat and sturdiest umbrella before descending down the steps of her building and getting out into the street - it takes her no more than a minute to rush over to the alley. Aside from the rather noticeable panic inside her building, the area seems perfectly calm and normal up until the point she rushes into the alley, where she does indeed confirm the presence of two men - one wearing a suit and looking quite smug, while the other seems to be wearing nothing but a very damaged shirt and some sort of strapless thong. The latter individual currently appears to be staring at a lit match with glassy eyes, no less.
One thing is clear - whatever happened a few moments ago, these people look weird enough to be complicit in it somehow. And as Eta considers what her game plan here might be, taking into account all the present information, the suited man turns to face her, his eyes gleaming with a mildly creepy sort of interest as they take in her arriving shape.
"Why, hello there!" he says in a subdued voice. "Looking for something, miss?"
Post by: Pancaek on April 13, 2014, 06:15:12 am
get the three of us a bit further away from the dentures. Then cast detonate methheads again on the ones around the watchman. after (trying) to cast detonate methheads, hit the watchman with a beam of suicidal tobacco
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 13, 2014, 06:37:16 am
The other man though... he looked more alert and yet more dangerous. Being mugged in an alley would not be very nice. Good thing she had her trusty umbrella with her.
She began talking to the man, trying to sound as polite as possible while at the same time keeping her distance from him.
"Good evening, dear sir. I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if you could be so kind as to please inform me of whether or not you have noticed anything out of the ordinary in this alley. Perhaps something related to the destructive events that transpired in that building?" she used her umbrella to point to her apartment.
Questions!
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
((
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 13, 2014, 06:55:39 am
"Good evening, dear sir. I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if you could be so kind as to please inform me of whether or not you have noticed anything out of the ordinary in this alley. Perhaps something related to the destructive events that transpired in that building?" she used her umbrella to point to her apartment.
"Oh, that. I have, actually. Why do you ask? Who are you, anyway?" the man asks, stepping a little closer.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 13, 2014, 09:37:10 am
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 13, 2014, 09:54:41 am
"Good evening, dear sir. I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if you could be so kind as to please inform me of whether or not you have noticed anything out of the ordinary in this alley. Perhaps something related to the destructive events that transpired in that building?" she used her umbrella to point to her apartment."Oh, that. I have, actually. Why do you ask? Who are you, anyway?" the man asks, stepping a little closer.
"I'ma good boy! Wha... Oh my apologies and who might this lovely lady be."Hm. Now we're getting somewhere.
"Really? How interesting. I ask because- Oh, but you're right, how inconsiderate of me. I failed to provide my name. I am Henrieta, although most people just call me Eta."
Eta made a small pause and bent her head a little, both as a form of greeting that didn't required her to get close to the strange men and a way to give them enough time to reply with their name.
Regardless of whether or not the men took the cue and provided her with a name, she continued.
"Anyway, a friend of mine happens to reside in the apartment I indicated a few moments ago. I was merely hoping I could find out what happened here and and ensure that there is no chance any more meteorites will pass through their residence."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 13, 2014, 10:13:28 am
Post by: Toaster on April 13, 2014, 10:42:24 am
Get out! Summon hats to distract the vortex!
strapless thong
I think you've been hanging around La too much.
Post by: lawastooshort on April 13, 2014, 11:06:46 am
Physically assist Larry in escaping the vortex. Ask my Mafiosi to help too. But first cast Wall of Pigeons between him and it!
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 13, 2014, 12:05:32 pm
"Dave David Davidson glad to make your acquaintance and to answer your questions science happened and I'm not making any promises."Eta lowered her glasses to get a better look at the man, simultaneously using their frame to obscure his underwear.
"Are you implying that you were responsible for this destruction then?" she said with a bit more irritation than she intended. "How could that be possible? And you're saying that you aren't going to stop destroying nearby buildings?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 13, 2014, 01:08:45 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 13, 2014, 01:47:23 pm
She turned to look at the more properly dressed man.
"You, dear sir. Have you got anything to say about the incident or about what that man just said?"
Hopefully, he'd be a bit more helpful.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 13, 2014, 02:58:31 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 13, 2014, 04:03:48 pm
Eta shook her head. Oh dear. That man is clearly cukoo. Our beautiful neighbourhood is being degraded by crazy half-naked drunkards and supernatural disasters.
She turned to look at the more properly dressed man.
"You, dear sir. Have you got anything to say about the incident or about what that man just said?"
Hopefully, he'd be a bit more helpful.
The man is interrupted in his overly long appraisal of you, snapping out of his rather gawking stare by your question.
"Oh, right. Yes, he did indeed destroy that building. Yep. Yes, sir. Saw it myself. And I suppose his name is Dave, at least. I'm Kermit Q. Pilton, by the way. Pleased to meet you and all. But I wouldn't worry about that kind of incident repeating itself too much - after all, it requires things to go catastrophically wrong for that to happen. And though dear ol' Dave's got his troubles, there's only so many disasters one can cause over a short period of time. He seems to be having too much fun to stop, though. Look at 'im, I mean. He's got no pants and he seems to be loving it, no?"
Mr. Pilton scratches his chin nervously and grins at you.
"As for the more technical aspects of the whole business that's occurring here, well, all you really need to know you'll find out if you strike one of these matches," he then says, displaying a dark little matchbook he quickly produces between his fingers. "It's a bit hard to explain specifics, because there really aren't too many that'll make all that much sense to you. But with a single lit match, you'll be able to educate yourself pretty nicely, I think. You look sharp enough, anyway," he continues, throwing you the matchbook - within it seems to be a single odd-smelling match. "Try it. It's pretty good stuff, I find. Dave here loves it."
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 13, 2014, 04:59:43 pm
"Alright. I suppose the right thing to do would be to give you the benefit of the doubt and try this out. Although I really don't see how-" she said as she lit the match.
Strike the match! Look inside its flames!
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 13, 2014, 05:19:54 pm
I Call Upon Prophetic Vinegar.
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 14, 2014, 03:44:19 am
"You don't have to be such a fucking prick about it! You... you prick! If you guys still have anything to throw at that asshole, that would be great," he says, moving Luz slightly further away from the nearby vortex with Trey's help, a process that Luz definitely does not enjoy from the sound of it.
"Yeah, I'm the prick here! You bastards haven't done a thing wrong!" the night watchman rants back, completely failing to notice a couple tasty yetis creeping up on him from the side, about to cross the boundary to his ruined classroom. John figures that now's as good a time as any to try and detonate some methheads!
[John's affinity roll: 4]
John feels sweat begin to pour down his forehead as he stares at the methhead closest to the watchman, and his ears begin to ring as the methhead begins to shake violently! The tension rises for but a few moments before the methhead, poor unlucky fellow, seems to realize that he is going to die in the next few moments. His expression is somewhat stoic, though with a tinge of pain and sadness. Before John can think about this for too long, however, said methhead violently explodes!
[Night Watchman's body roll: 6-->5]
The night watchman, however, seems to have foreseen something like this happening, given how the lead-up was not exactly subtle, and dives to the ground immediately, and only gets his back pelted with methhead blood and bits for his trouble. He lays there for a moment, probably hoping nothing else explodes, before getting right up again, looking shocked at the event that just happened.
"Holy shit, you just killed that guy!" he says, then looks at the methheads lying around him on the floor. "Crap."
"I think he's gonna make a run for it, guys!" Trey says excitedly.
[Trey's affinity roll: 1-->4-1]
He thrusts his hands out, but the only result seems to be an unstable wall of canned goods that appears behind him.
[Trey's body roll: 2-1]
"Goddammit, why does that never-" Trey begins to say as he turns around, accidentally touching the wall behind him, which promptly falls on him, eliciting a great deal of muffled screaming as he is buried in it. That's... probably not good.
Luz, meanwhile, tries something similar, raising her hands at the man up top despite being in quite a bit of pain.
[Luz's affinity roll: 5+1]
[Luz's finesse roll: 1-->4-1]
Suddenly, a wave of washing machines shoots out of her hands, flying out, but completely failing to hit the classroom the watchman is hiding in, instead hitting at least one of the yetis in the next room, the ceiling of the watchman's classroom and a couple of methheads, squashing them in a most painful-looking manner. The watchman looks around at the destruction surrounding him, then quickly unlocks his classroom door and bolts out of sight.
Uh... partial victory? Though some of the yetis do look pissed, John thinks. The ones that aren't furiously fighting the slimes, that is.
* * * * *
Larry, as he hurtles into the land of potatoes, tries to somehow stop his accelerated flight!
"Fuck your potatoes! Help me out of here!" he shouts to Halesey even as he is practically on potato hell's doorstep. He tries to grab onto something and stop his encroaching doom.
[Larry's body roll: 6-->5-1]
Fortunately, there does seem to be a manhole on the way, which Larry grabs onto, the cover having been pulled off seconds earlier, and he pulls himself closer with inhumanly painful effort, partially opens it and slides into the manhole, glad that it seems to have a ladder at least. He begins to pant with exertion, but then catches a whiff of where he currently seems to be, and thinks better of it.
"Shit, I keep forgetting that happens. Must be why they didn't want to vortex this church up themselves, eh," Halesey says, and thinks of how to help his good buddy escape the physical neighborhood of the vortex.
[Halesey's body roll: 4+1]
He guesses this would be something that's better considered from a slightly further distance, and, with the help of his loyal retainers, is carried to a much safer distance from the vortex. Problem is, he can't really go and get Larry without being basically right next to the gaping, potato-filled hole in reality, which would bode ill for him or at least his mafiosi. On the other hand, Larry does look quite safe right now. Maybe a wall of pigeons might help?
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->2]
Halesey concentrates, and suddenly a huge host of pigeons begins to fly out of the manhole Larry seems to be in, disturbing the man most immensely!
[Larry's body roll: 3-1]
So much so, in fact, that Larry begins to lose his grip on the manhole as the pigeons, in all the glory of their high-pressure flow, begin to push him out of there! Larry does the best he can under the circumstances and tries to distract the vortex!
[Larry's affinity roll: 4+1]
A large pile of hats appears slightly atop him, slightly counteracting the flow of pigeons before it is sucked into the vortex as well. But Larry is not fully out of the manhole yet, so he guesses... mission accomplished, sort of?
* * * * *
Having received a somewhat fragmentary explanation of things as well as a classic drug dealer's pitch, Eta nevertheless continues being polite to these fellows.
"The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Pilton," she says, taking a look at the match. It looks pretty much like a normal match, though the tip's a little unusual in color - she guesses it might be some kind of party favor as well as a match - at any rate, it doesn't seem like she could inhale something overly horrible unless she sticks the match up her nose or whatever, and she'd presumably have more important problems in that scenario.
"Alright. I suppose the right thing to do would be to give you the benefit of the doubt and try this out. Although I really don't see how-" she says, striking the match and becoming rather surprised when she notices that the flame it produces appears to be completely black. And not only that, it seems to be sucking in heat rather than producing it, and darkening its surroundings visibly. Eta, not sure what to really make of this, merely stares into the flame.
[Eta's mind roll: 3+1]
And the match burns darker and darker with every moment, the two men soon disappearing from Eta's view. Her fingers grow insufferably cold within moments, and she inadvertently drops the match, as frostbite is certainly not something she was hoping to obtain today. But she isn't sure if it is now too late to reverse the change, or whether the match has even gone out at all, as the darkness does not abate. She can see nothing at all now, no matter which way she turns. In fact, turning only seems to make things worse, as she soon forgets where everything might have been. Or still is, rather. Confusion overtaking her, she steps in a direction, awkwardly poking with her umbrella to ascertain the dimensions and shapes of the things around her.
Oddly enough, the ground feels soft now, and squelches a little as she walks on it or pokes it. As do the walls. And there seems to be fairly irregularly-shaped furniture in the way, which further reinforces the thought that she might not, in fact, be where she was. A slight panic comes unbidden, and she begins to more insistently poke her surroundings until she finally comes upon something harder on one of the walls. This, unlike the rest of the room, feels like it's made of plastic. Intrigued, Eta pokes it some more, the tip of her umbrella eventually pushing on something that makes an ominous click.
Suddenly, everything is bathed in a pure white light, blinding the unsuspecting Eta like a toddler looking directly at the sun for the very first time, the pain of sudden illumination making her reflexively close her eyes. But before she does so, something trickles into her brain through her eyes - not a sight, but a thought, strangely enough. A hint and a link, a choice and a remark.
Spoiler: Eta's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
As she opens her eyes, she finds herself back in the alley, both Kermit and Dave looking to be as normal as previously, along with the rest of the alley looking unchanged. She does seem to have dropped the match, resulting in it going out. Dave does look worked up about something, though.
[Dave's affinity roll: 2-1]
Said excitement appears to be entirely fruitless, however, as things consistently fail to happen no matter how hard he mutters. Kermit is the first to notice the ending of Eta's first journey.
"Oh, hey! You're back. Any impressions?" he asks.
Post by: lawastooshort on April 14, 2014, 04:11:12 am
Halesey tries to shout over the din of tuber hell and rushing pigeonwind.
"Er. Larry? Sorry about that. Dunno why I thought it could help. Pigeons, I guess. Do you want some mafiosi to come help?"
If Larry doesn't require help, potato vortex that church one more time. If he does, then disregard this.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 14, 2014, 07:40:28 am
It was strange, the experience. It shook her. It felt like she imagined death would be like, cold, dark, alone. And yet the light, blindingly bright as it was, made her feel better. Filled with knowledge. Knowledge that condensed into two words: Lawyer Wave. And in the end, she was okay. And it was exciting.
It took her a few seconds to overcome her shock and reply to the man.
"It was... unexpected. It was like I was taken somewhere else and I was fumbling in the dark and it was frightening and yet... after I unlocked something and there was light and it was good, in a way. Like a roller coaster ride. And in the end it made me feel different, like I can do more now, like I can..."
She took a deep breath to compose herself.
"It was good. I believe it would be appropriate for me to thank you for granting me this experience." Eta said, getting a bit closer to the man.
"If I may be so bold as to ask, does this thing have a name, Mr Pillton? Do you know how it works? Are you responsible for this? And would it be possible for me to obtain more?" she asked the man, her worries about drugs and home all but forgotten in her excitement for this new experience.
Question Mr.
The matchbox is now empty, right?
Try using the knowledge I obtained: Lawyer Wave. Hope it doesn't create a talking watery wave that has just finished law school.
EDIT: Go and obtain more matches!
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on April 14, 2014, 08:33:32 am
Screw it, just get done! Go vortex another good spot on the church.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 14, 2014, 09:02:34 am
I Call Upon Prophetic Vinegar.
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 14, 2014, 12:34:17 pm
"It was... unexpected. It was like I was taken somewhere else and I was fumbling in the dark and it was frightening and yet... after I unlocked something and there was light and it was good, in a way. Like a roller coaster ride. And in the end it made me feel different, like I can do more now, like I can..."
She took a deep breath to compose herself.
"It was good. I believe it would be appropriate for me to thank you for granting me this experience." Eta said, getting a bit closer to the man.
"If I may be so bold as to ask, does this thing have a name, Mr Pillton? Do you know how it works? Are you responsible for this? And would it be possible for me to obtain more?" she asked the man, her worries about drugs and home all but forgotten in her excitement for this new experience.
"Well, it does have a name - magic. Or at least that's what we call it. And you can get more magic if you just put more matches into the matchbox. Let 'em stay in there for an hour or so, though, otherwise it doesn't quite work. And you're very welcome, of course," he smiles. "And this is, of course, only the beginning. There's a whole world of things to discover about magic. But let's talk about that after you've gotten a few more spells, 'kay?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 14, 2014, 02:08:15 pm
"Well, it does have a name - magic. Or at least that's what we call it. And you can get more magic if you just put more matches into the matchbox. Let 'em stay in there for an hour or so, though, otherwise it doesn't quite work. And you're very welcome, of course," he smiles. "And this is, of course, only the beginning. There's a whole world of things to discover about magic. But let's talk about that after you've gotten a few more spells, 'kay?""Certainly. I shall accomplish this task and return to you in the most expedient manner possible!"
Eta turned to walk away in search of matches but stopped as she realized something. She knew nothing of that man besides his name.
"Oh, will it be possible for me to find you here later? How can I come into contact with you again, when the time comes?"
((Previous action edited.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 14, 2014, 02:18:47 pm
"Certainly. I shall accomplish this task and return to you in the most expedient manner possible!"
Eta turned to walk away in search of matches but stopped as she realized something. She knew nothing of that man besides his name.
"Oh, will it be possible for me to find you here later? How can I come into contact with you again, when the time comes?"
"Ah, yes, of course," Kermit says, retrieving a card from his pocket in a smooth, practiced motion and handing it to you. The card, very much like you'd expect, seems to contain his name, workplace (apparently he works at LindisPharm as a marketing director) and what looks like a personal number. "You can call me anytime. Maybe we can have lunch or something. Things are best discussed over lunch, don't you think?"
Post by: Pancaek on April 14, 2014, 02:37:54 pm
Shout the first part towards ther methheads. Help Trey and Luz get to a safer location. If anyone tries to stop us, hit them with a beam of suicidal tobacco.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 14, 2014, 03:38:33 pm
"Ah, yes, of course," Kermit says, retrieving a card from his pocket in a smooth, practiced motion and handing it to you. The card, very much like you'd expect, seems to contain his name, workplace (apparently he works at LindisPharm as a marketing director) and what looks like a personal number. "You can call me anytime. Maybe we can have lunch or something. Things are best discussed over lunch, don't you think?"((Hey, wasn't that guy just having dinner with another woman? Oh well, maybe it was his sister or his assistant or similar.))
Eta was taken aback by the man's proposal.
Is he really-? Should I-? He seems so strange, like something is off about him. Do I really want to make any sort of commitment to him?
Her eyes fell to the black matchbox.
Then again, he DID provide me with this marvellous gift. I was hesitant with accepting that too, but that seems to have turned out OK. And I hate to admit it, but he certainly seems like an intriguing gentleman. If anything, I'd at least be able to learn more about this "magic" he talked about and how he got it.
He's already given me the keys, so to speak. I'm not obliged or forced to see him again in any way unless I want to. Uunggh, What to do?
"You're an interesting man, Mr. Pillton." Eta said and smiled to Kermit. "We shall see..." she added and winked to him, then turned to walk away.
I guess for now, it would be better if I didn't burn down any bridges. I can always decide later.
Besides, men like a bit of teasing, right? A bit of hunting. Let's give him enough time to show his true nature...
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 15, 2014, 10:03:47 am
"Thanks, men, excellent work. Now. Let's get to work. Or back to work, even," he says, noting that the hairy mafiosi do look fairly appreciative of this bit of group bonding. Larry, however, looks significantly less happy, what with his attempts to try and keep descending into his manhole.
"Er. Larry? Sorry about that. Dunno why I thought it could help. Pigeons, I guess. Do you want some mafiosi to come help?"
"I think you've helped enough! I might have to go... down here to get away!" Larry replies, swatting away some errant pigeons. Halesey guesses that this must mean it's time for more vortexes! They're doing the lord's work, after all. Can't afford to slouch!
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3]
And a tiny potato vortex does appear next to the much larger one! Rather strangely, it begins to orbit it. Huh.
Larry, meanwhile, tries to finish up the job as well, despite his grip on the manhole ladder growing increasingly weak.
[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->1+1]
And the fact that he has added yet another huge vortex to the church, the facade of which already has become a rather messed-up situation in the dimensional sense, does not seem to help the situation at all!
[Larry's body roll: 3-1]
So it comes as no surprise when he is pulled right out of the manhole and, despite the way he has dug his nails into the ground, dragged right to the vortex - he got lucky the previous time, but Larry's pretty sure that he's not gonna get out of this one without some really quick thinking or rather obscene luck!
* * * * *
Dave, quite distracted with matters of his own while Mr. Pilton and Eta chat away, reassures himself of the rightness of his current course.
"I'm studying it to figure out how it works," he says, and tries to call the prophetic vinegar again! It shall reveal its secrets to him!
[Dave's affinity roll: 4-1]
The air above his hand glows a little, and a tiny little blob of vinegar appears above it! Dave is fairly certain that he can discern some kind of mystical air about it, and that's not just because it seemed to be freely floating for a second before falling to the ground and making a small puddle. It seems to be still be looking at him, oddly enough.
Eta, meanwhile, concludes her current business with Kermit in as polite a manner as she can manage.
"You're an interesting man, Mr. Pilton," she says, smiling at him. "We shall see..."
"That we shall, I suppose," he says with a bit of excitement as Eta walks away from the alley. As she disappears around a corner, he looks back at the restaurant for a moment.
"Hm... I guess I'll... nah," he thinks out loud for a moment, then walks out of the alley as well, getting into his car and driving off, leaving Dave all by his lonesome. Needless to say, Dave feels a little exposed. Plus his legs are getting a little cold, and his feet are already starting to freeze.
Eta, meanwhile, decides to check where she could find matches - it does not take long for it to occur to her that she could probably get some at one of the neighborhood's stores - upscale stores though they may be, she rightly guesses they should be open at this hour, and within twenty minutes a whole lot of matches are in her possession - fresh, clean, smokeless matches straight from the chemical factory, the label informs her. They're still warm, even! Gladdened by the conveniences of modern society, she then proceeds outside of the store, making sure to thank the rather stiff-looking lady manning the register (otherwise poor relations may be fostered - these store people tended to hold grudges for a long time, like a cross between a vain dragon and the most malicious of elephants). Getting well clear of any other civilization out at the present time, she strolls into one of the better-lit, tree-lined alleys of the neighborhood and decides to test her knowledge.
[Eta's affinity roll: 2+1]
Raising her palm to the air in a manner reminiscent of a Roman salute with fingers spread, she concentrates upon the very idea of a wave of lawyers. Or is that a wave that's a lawyer? Just as she begins to doubt if she really knows what's going on, the air in front of her palm begins to shimmer, and with nothing more than a barely audible pop a single full-grown woman in cheap-looking businesswear shoots forth and rolls down the alley for a bit before coming to a stop - it looks and sounds like that might have hurt, Eta thinks. But she has established some important information, she supposes.
* * * * *
John, desperate for some sort of relief in this fairly messed up situation, decides to capitalize on his methhead resources and shouts to them.
"Say, gentlemen, did you know? The spleens of these yetis are made out of the highest grade meth known to man! But be careful, it's starts losing its quality fast once the yeti dies, so it's best to get it from a fresh kill!" he yells, and the dazed methheads up top, currently eleven in number, respond with a collective roar born of their mutual, insatiable hunger for sweet meth, immediately rushing out to dive down three whole floors at the presumably meth-ridden yetis below!
[Methhead body rolls: 1-->2, 6-->6, 3, 4, 3, 3, 1-->3, 2, 1-->2, 1-->1, 2]
The results are... not pretty, to say the least. One of the first methheads to land basically rams headfirst into a piece of exposed rebar at high speed. Two more simply flop into the concrete messily, while a fourth gets punched out of the air by an enraged yeti. Most of the others land on furniture or in the gore already present, causing themselves varying degrees of injury, and only two manage to hit roughly what they were aiming for. One of them falls on a yeti and rolls off mostly unharmed, while another... well, another plunges fists-first into the abdomen of the yeti and proceeds to in equal amounts rip, chew and snort the internal components of his target while bellowing fearsomely. When said yeti flesh proves to be the tastiest thing he's ever had, he takes out his lighter and sets fire to the creature in an effort to improve the experience, which seems to work admirably as well!
Meanwhile, the other yetis look on in horror. But this only lasts a moment before they decide to help their friend, no matter how far gone from the madman's assault he may look! The creatures look very successfully distracted, John thinks, and turns back to his buddies.
"Hey, you guys alright? The watchman ran off, so maybe we should fall back and lick our wounds, eh?"
Luz responds with a groan, while Trey seems to still be buried in a pile of canned goods. Crap. Luz proves simple to retrieve, but with Trey it looks like it'll be a bit more difficult.
[Trey's body roll: 1-->5-1]
Luckily, he's not dead or anything, at least judging by the screaming, and after a bit of effort he manages to dig the fellow out. He looks to be lacerated all over, and definitely looks to be in no shape to fight or anything.
"Oh god, I never knew anything could hurt this much," he says, coughing.
"Fuck it, retreat!" Luz says, getting to her feet with a very pained sound, then stumbling straight out of the room.
[Tasty Yetis vs. Crazed Methhead: 6+2 vs. 1]
And the yetis down on the ground seem to make short work of the methhead, impressive though his landing may have been, as well as his friend. And now they seem to be regarding the three injured magi still present. They do not seem happy. And then, to top it all off, the night watchman appears in the classroom immediately to the left of the one he was originally in. Sadly for him, the yetis that had crawled up there previously still seem to remain, and still appear to be quite ticked off.
[Finesse: Night Watchman vs. Angry Yetis: 3-1 vs. 5]
"Oh shi-" the night watchman begins to say and raise his arms as three yetis quickly descend upon him.
[Angry Yetis vs. Night Watchman: 4+1 vs. 3]
He is even less pleased when the yetis pretty much punt him screamingly back into the hallway and then try to press the attack!
[Night Watchman's affinity roll: 5+1]
However, the clackety-clacking sound of the terrible salty denture vortex seems to interrupt them - John can't rightly say, as he can't properly see what happens next. He assumes it's awful, however. And he is somewhat fearful that a similar situation may develop down where he is as well!
Post by: lawastooshort on April 15, 2014, 10:23:07 am
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 15, 2014, 11:20:47 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 15, 2014, 11:33:54 am
Rush to Larry with my mafiosi and try to pull him out of or away from the vortexes, hoping that my mafiosi aid me or at least hold me down so I don't also get sucked in.((Mental image of mafiosi holding each other like the monkeys from barrel of monkeys.))
Hmmm... I wonder if the matches act like those in that sad old story. I should try that out, sometime. Eta thought as she put more matches in the black matchbox. She looked around for a clock and made a mental note of the time. Great! More matches coming in one hour. In the meantime...
Eta stared at the woman that materialised in front of her mere seconds ago dumbfounded. So he was telling the truth after all! Who would have known?
She approached the prone woman, checking her for injuries. "Oh dear! Are you allright?"
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 15, 2014, 01:23:30 pm
"Oh dear! Are you allright?"
"I don't know!" the woman says, flailing around a little. "Where am I? What time is it?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 15, 2014, 01:30:29 pm
"I don't know!" the woman says, flailing around a little. "Where am I? What time is it?""What time is it?" What a strange question to ask.
Offer a hand to help her stand/pull her up.
"An alley, somewhere near Chez Ronardo's. And it's late in the evening, not sure what time exactly."
"Why is the time so important?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 15, 2014, 01:33:12 pm
"An alley, somewhere near Chez Ronardo's. And it's late in the evening, not sure what time exactly."
"Why is the time so important?"
"Oh god, I don't know anything! What's even happening? I don't remember anything at all! Where did I go to law school? Do I have any friends? How do I even speak your language? Who was my mother? Oh god!" she continues to panic, curling up in a ball on the ground.
Post by: Pancaek on April 15, 2014, 01:55:43 pm
Tactical retreat! grab Trey and follow Luz out of here! Help both of them get to a completely safe location.
Post by: Toaster on April 15, 2014, 02:33:20 pm
Try to doublecast Summon Telescopic Tea Hat to use as a lasso and tie myself down!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Rush to Larry with my mafiosi and try to pull him out of or away from the vortexes, hoping that my mafiosi aid me or at least hold me down so I don't also get sucked in.((Mental image of mafiosi holding each other like the monkeys from barrel of monkeys.))
((There's no more monkeys! That's the whole barrel!))
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 15, 2014, 02:34:05 pm
"Oh god, I don't know anything! What's even happening? I don't remember anything at all! Where did I go to law school? Do I have any friends? How do I even speak your language? Who was my mother? Oh god!" she continues to panic, curling up in a ball on the ground.So she was created from thin air with just enough knowledge? Interesting. Hmmm, this gives me an idea...
Eta crouched and gently patted the Lawyer on the shoulder to comfort her.
"There there. It'll be fine. I mean, you can't have just magically appeared from thin air, right? You probably hit your head when you fell and are a bit confused, that's all. I'm sure it will come back to you in time."
After a few more moments of physical comforting she continued:
"But if you're really so anxious to know more, I know of a place where we could find out your name~" she added in a musical voice.
"What do you say you and me go there, eh?"
I've got an hour to kill. Might as well use it to make sure this isn't a real person.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 15, 2014, 02:35:07 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 15, 2014, 02:44:15 pm
"There there. It'll be fine. I mean, you can't have just magically appeared from thin air, right? You probably hit your head when you fell and are a bit confused, that's all. I'm sure it will come back to you in time."
After a few more moments of physical comforting she continued:
"But if you're really so anxious to know more, I know of a place where we could find out your name~" she added in a musical voice.
"What do you say you and me go there, eh?"
"I don't have a name! That's the problem! I'm just supposed to fly and smash into the things! That's my purpose! That's what I went to law school for! Do you know how that feels? Do you? I have no context aside from that! No other meaning! I'm not even sure how long will I exist from now!" she keeps on ranting.
I wander up to the lawyer and Eta. "Sup?"
Important question: do you wanna get chummy, or do you wanna get pants? Because you can't do both this turn.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 15, 2014, 02:57:50 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on April 15, 2014, 06:11:59 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 15, 2014, 06:25:44 pm
I wander up to the lawyer and Eta. "Sup?"Oh. Great. Eta thought sarcastically. It's that pantless man again. Just what I needed.
"Oh, I'm just helping this poor Lawyer here while I wait for my matches to transform."
Eta turned to the Lawyer..
"Why don't you look on the bright side of things? Lois... Can I call you Lois? Think about it this way: you came from nothing. You have nothing. And in the end you'll have nothing again, just like everyone else in this world. So why don't you try to make the most of the time you have? I can take you to a restaurant or a courthouse. Or maybe a bar, fancy meeting some boys? We can have some fun! What do you say?"
((I (and by extension my character) suddenly feel really bad and somehow responsible about Lois. Kinda like a parent. Can't leave her here all alone when she's feeling so bad.
Reminds me of a sci-fi AI or clone.))
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 15, 2014, 08:53:54 pm
I cast Become Musical Cookies.
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 16, 2014, 05:24:21 am
"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 16, 2014, 05:38:16 am
[Halesey's body roll: 5+1]
The mafiosi and Halesey promptly form a branching human chain even as Halesey sprints to save his buddy, a surprisingly complex maneuver for what are ostensibly people not very well-educated in physics, and Halesey manages to reach the desperately resisting Larry even as the latter begins to cast a spell!
[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->4+1]
And at that exact moment, an extendable hat appears on the wizard's hat! It seems to be made of tea, and immediately pours down his body, but it was a reasonable idea at any rate! And it does not matter all that much, since Halesey catches him anyway, and soon the mafiosi have successfully dragged the entire magical lot back to a reasonably safe distance. Quite the close shave right there.
* * * * *
Eta is right in the middle of comforting the individual she seems to have just created when Dave suddenly turns up, still without pants and being nonchalant despite the rather pronounced horripilation he seems to be experiencing.
"Sup?" he asks of Eta and her new friend.
"Oh, I'm just helping this poor Lawyer here while I wait for my matches to transform," Eta says, not very pleased with the way this pantless man seems to have followed her. She then turns back to her rather scuffled (though uninjured), mentally blank friend.
"Why don't you look on the bright side of things? Lois...can I call you Lois? Think about it this way: you came from nothing. You have nothing. And in the end you'll have nothing again, just like everyone else in this world. So why don't you try to make the most of the time you have? I can take you to a restaurant or a courthouse. Or maybe a bar, fancy meeting some boys? We can have some fun! What do you say?" she says, trying to inject some positivity and fun into a somewhat bleak existential state.
"That would be nice, I suppose," Lois begins, stretching out on the ground and rolling on her back, her eyes turned to the sky. "But I don't think I have anything I can really talk to people about. No interests or anything. Just a great big blank. Nothing whatsoever," she then says, her face appropriately expressionless.
Suddenly, Dave has an idea.
"Mayhaps I can cheer you up," he says, and tries out one of his spells.
"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?" Eta asks, but her question goes unanswered as Dave raises his arms and begins to shiver with the magic coursing through his body.
[Dave's affinity roll: 1-->5-1]
It doesn't seem to work, though... only a little tingle spreads through all of his bones. It feels a tad menacing, and when it passes, Dave feels like he may have narrowly avoided something unpleasant.
"I don't think I like anything yet, either," Lois continues, looking at Eta. "Well, except maybe you. I suppose I like you. You seem nice," she says ponderously, then sits up. "If you really want to, I guess I can go to a restaurant. Lying around here seems to not help much."
* * * * *
John definitely agrees that retreat is the soundest of plans right now, and together with Trey begins to follow in Luz's footsteps - however, before they leave, he turns to the ruined mass of methheads amidst the yetis.
"I won't forget your bravery, nameless methheads," he says. Maybe the methheads heard it, wherever they are now. And with that done, he and Trey proceed out - Trey seems quite uninjured in the bone department, although John is fairly certain that he will have a whole lot of scars after this. They run out into the hallway, and notice that Luz seems to be beckoning them toward the staircase - not one to argue with somebody who's actually been to this school, John follows her, and together they climb the stairs up to what seems like the third floor, making sure to close all doors on the way - the yetis, for their part, don't seem to pursue them particularly aggressively.
"Okay, okay, I think... I think we need to get up to the roof," Luz says when they hit the third floor on the stairwell, out of breath and in a horrendous amount of pain from the looks of it.
"Why?" Trey asks peevishly.
"The leyline's there. I-I can sense it now," she replies shakily. "We can't turn back now. Joanie's going to straight-up... murder us, you know, if we don't get ourselves some power."
"I think we're gonna die if we try to go for it now," Trey says, supporting himself against a wall, leaving a bloody Trey-print on it in the process.
"No, no," Luz says. "It's the only way we're not gonna die, Trey. We've gotten this far. No turning back, Trey. We turn back, we're so dead. You get it? Dead," she says, eyes growing wild as the idea seems to overtake her.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 16, 2014, 07:19:50 am
I go to the thrift shop by the school and get some pants.
Post by: smurfingtonthethird on April 16, 2014, 07:29:32 am
Post by: Toaster on April 16, 2014, 07:36:44 am
Step back a bit and launch another S-C vortex. Maybe off to the side this time?
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 16, 2014, 12:37:34 pm
Also, check my matches, I don't suppose they've changed in any way while they were in the matchbox?
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on April 16, 2014, 12:44:57 pm
Follow Trey and Luz to the roof. Read magazine once more!
Post by: lawastooshort on April 16, 2014, 02:16:29 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 17, 2014, 03:29:37 am
And within minutes, Dave is there! Pants everywhere, of all sorts and applications, going for two dollars a pair, with a special "buy 2, get 1 free" deal in effect for at least the next hour!
Back at the alley, Eta enacts plans of her own, and coincidentally they seem to involve going somewhere as well. But in this case the endeavor is altogether more selfless.
"Great! Let's go!" she says, grabbing Lois by the arm and going off on a magical restaurant-hunting adventure. In a fit of wisdom she immediately forsakes any thought of finding a place that's open around here - if what she's heard is correct, any place aside from Chez Ronardo's doesn't let anyone in without a reservation, and the maitre d's have taken to carrying guns to enforce that rule. So they wander out of the neighborhood and eventually reach a rather charming-looking cake and tea shop on Raymond Street - it's even got a giant cupcake sign. Eta's heard good things about the place from her friends. And it does look to have quite a few people inside currently, so presumably it'll be a great learning experience for Lois to dine here. They head right in, basking in the slightly retro atmosphere. Few of the people here seem all that young or exciting, but at this hour one has to take what they can get.
Speaking of hours, Eta quickly checks her matches. They seem to be visually unchanged, though they do appear to smell quite different now than they did before - the have a strong scent of cinnamon now, which is quite unexpected, since that's pretty much a diametrically opposed scent to the rather toxic smell her original match had. But it hasn't even been a full hour yet, so who knows what's going on there.
"So, what are we supposed to do now?" Lois asks when the two of them enter through the front door. The place isn't particularly packed, and there seem to be quite a few seats available, some further from company than others. A few eyes in the room, mostly from polite-looking gentlemen who look like law-abiding regulars of the place, turn to them for a few moments, but no longer than would be considered strictly appropriate.
* * * * *
Larry is thankful for the aid provided him - he hasn't done nearly enough cardio, strength exercises or wild magic infusions to make his body ready for another extradimensional journey.
"Thanks, guys. Saved my bacon, there. Let's step back a bit before we keep going, yeah?"
The others, Halesey especially, seem to agree, and they all back up more than a few bits before the next wave of vortexes.
[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->6+1]
[Halesey's affinity roll: 2]
And Larry, in a single, highly inspired hand motion, creates an immense vortex of sweaty champignons slightly off to the side of the other ones. The interplay of the vortexes is somewhat fascinating to watch - it's as if the fabric of reality itself is beginning to shiver in the area. If one looks closely, one can almost see the space around the church get hit with dozens of tiny little ripples, as if something was punching the framework of matter in a friendly fashion, or at least poking it with all sorts of instruments.
It's so entrancing, in fact, that Halesey forgets to provide the requisite final vortex entirely, and the next minute or so is filled with a fair bit of nothing, with Larry glancing at his buddy, then deciding that poking him might be an endeavor too dangerous to attempt right now. For all Larry knew, Halesey could explode into potatoes suddenly if someone did that.
* * * * *
John feels he should be the voice of reason and endorse the safest course of action.
"Relax, kids, none of us are going to die any time soon. Because we... are just too pretty to die. That being said, you're not looking too good, Trey. But, I'll defer to Luz's judgement, let's get to the roof then. Lead the way!" he says, and Trey looks doubtful for a moment, but ultimately follows without any audible words on the matter. They head out into the third floor hallway, and carefully look around to check for yetis - none are present, fortunately. Though sounds of battle are audible from the next room - evidently something is happening over there.
"Right, let's stop for a moment and... urk... get new spells, huh?" Luz says, getting out her book. John guesses that's an agreeable proposition, and gets out his magazine, and Trey joins in on the fun as well.
[John's mind roll: 2]
Sadly, though, his fractured arm proves a bit too distracting to give him a very good chance at doing well on a mind-intensive task such as this one. And Trey seems to have a similar problem - only Luz seems to be able to concentrate on anything, paradoxically enough. Moments later, she raises her eyes from her spellbook, looking quite purposeful.
"I got Sabotage Hair. What did you guys get?"
The others manage a slight shrug.
"Doesn't matter. Let's keep going, roof access is not too far off," she says, and leads the others to a reinforced metal door that seems to be very locked as well as highly unlabeled. "Yeah, this is the one. All we gotta do is get past it now," she adds, confirming with a push and a pull that it hasn't been by some stroke of luck left unlocked. "Any ideas aside from... ugh... hitting it with a washing machine wave? I don't really feel like doing that one point-blank."
Post by: lawastooshort on April 17, 2014, 03:31:50 am
Step slightly further back again and BLAST a potato vortex at the centre of the church tower!
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 17, 2014, 06:49:46 am
Find a table to sit down, not too close to other people so that Lois doesn't get uncomfortable but not so far away that we look like we're hiding and so that we can approach others for conversation should the mood strike us.
Give the following order: "Hello there dear sir/madam. I was just informing my friend here that this establishment sells the most exquisite tea and cakes. Would you be so kind as to bring us two cups of tea and a selection of your finest cupcakes for us to try? My friend just got here from out of town you see, and I'm giving her a small tour of the city and I told her we must absolutely stop by here to try your fine desserts."
Post by: Toaster on April 17, 2014, 07:25:30 am
"Get the potato out of your ass and get casting!"
Step a bit more back and a bit more to the side and cast up another S-C Vortex.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 17, 2014, 08:43:11 am
Post by: Pancaek on April 17, 2014, 09:32:41 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 17, 2014, 09:49:06 am
"I...don't think I've got anything to help with this one. So, yeah...Trey? Do you have any ideas on this?"
"I don't really think I should be casting spells here. Might have been able to pick the lock, though, had I not been rudely interrupted back at the pad and had the time to pack them."
I buy some suit pants and hammer pants, put on the suit pants and go cheak out the school.
You're not going to take advantage of the 3-for-2 sale? Madness!
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 17, 2014, 09:57:12 am
Post by: Pancaek on April 17, 2014, 10:28:07 am
Ask Luz! Take a look at the door to see if there's any way I could get it open! If opening this doors is not possible, see if I can't phone home to mister Lee, assuming I brought my cell phone.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 18, 2014, 05:10:56 am
"Er. Wow. Nice vortex, Larry. Let me try again."
"Get the potato out of your ass and get casting!" Larry replies, and the two proceed to try and finalize their vortex shenanigans.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->4]
[Larry's affinity roll: 3+1]
It seems, however, that Halesey can't quite concentrate without being mesmerized by so many vortexes in the vicinity - it is as if the champignon-potato combo is staring him in the very soul, beckoning him to approach and swim in their otherworldly currents. It's all he can do not to start slowly waltzing into the swirling mess of reality that's been made here. Larry, for his part, does quite a bit better, and after he steps back and makes a few noteworthy gestures, some of which are directed at Halesey, yet another champignon vortex appears on the church's facade, resulting in about a 2:1 vortex-to-exposed-church ratio in total.
Luckily, it appears that Halesey's effort was entirely unnecessary, as Larry becomes keenly aware of something - the vortexes begin to move rapidly, converging on one another, champignons and potatoes mixing in a chaotic fashion. And then, with a low, resounding rumble, darkness begins to billow from the vortexes, and unearthly music begins to boom from it, sounding something like a slow mix of doom metal and northern European dance music punctuated by the screams and growls of the sinful and unworthy. Shapes slowly begin to emerge from the darkness, prowling the area for a few moments. This entrance, while undoubtedly quite dramatic, is cut off by one of the shapes speaking up.
"Ey, where's the bloody gen-lit? There was supposed to be some dirty god mags here!" it says, sounding rather unsatisfied, and a chorus of similarly disappointed murmurs erupts, echoing similar sentiments. "Can't you mortal bastards do anything right? I paid good souls for your smut!" it says to Larry, Halesey and the mafiosi, its eyes two glowing red points nestled within solid shadow, and begins to approach, a whole bunch of hellspawn following behind, some already calling for blood (and some hardly having stopped the entire time). Larry and Halesey hardly need any more hints to start backing away, and the mafiosi quickly begin to regroup in a protective barrier when suddenly the darkness is cut off, and instead bright light bathes the entire area.
"Aw, shite, it's some kind of sting operation!" the shade exclaims as altogether more tangible, fleshy figures with extreme numbers of limbs and teeth, their irregular bodies wielding spears of holy light and fire and their wings taking on the character of mighty claws, descend upon the demons present, rending flesh and screaming praises to the powers above as they dice, cage and bind the deceived appreciators of truly heavenly pornography. The battle is violent, but very quick, with what Larry and Halesey presume to be angels quickly encircling and ensuring domination over their quarry, capturing them in strange cages of knives and water when they invariably cry uncle after differing degrees of punishment are doled out to them by the merciless defenders of the heavens.
When the snaring and subdual is complete, all the heavenly figures momentarily turn their many and terrible heads toward their mortal collaborators. Their eyes of unspeakable brightness pierce into their mind for but a short moment, and the angels collectively nod in what the two perceive to be a gesture of approval before disappearing back into the portal, which closes right after them, leaving nothing, not even the vortexes that spawned them, in their wake. The church as well as the street both look to be completely unharmed, and aside from slight ripples through the air and a few splashes of demonic ichor on the ground one did not really have grounds to suspect a mythical struggle may have taken place here at all.
It's all quite a bit to take in, and when the two men and their mafiosi have taken a moment to process it all, they notice that the fellow in the van seems to have pulled up next to them, and seems to be waving cheerily.
"Great job, guys! I knew I could count on you," he says, leaning out of the window. "Got those demons good, we did. All thanks to your efforts. How do you guys feel?"
* * * * *
Eta, awash with responsibility, guides Lois on her first restaurant experience.
"Well, let's sit down and order I suppose. Then we can find out what you like! It'll be fun!"
"If you say so," Lois shrugs, following Eta as they take a seat at one of the booths not too far from a lively contingent of older gentlemen debating some issue of the day or another. Soon a hideously elderly, lanky waitress slinks over to the table, her general features and looks reminding one more of a mummified Mongolian warrior than somebody who might conceivably have any business purveying tea and cakes.
"May I... take your order?" she asks in a dusty yet authoritative voice.
"Hello there, dear madam. I was just informing my friend here that this establishment sells the most exquisite tea and cakes. Would you be so kind as to bring us two cups of tea and a selection of your finest cupcakes for us to try? My friend just got here from out of town you see, and I'm giving her a small tour of the city and I told her we must absolutely stop by here to try your fine desserts."
"The pilgrim's platter, yes," the waitress murmurs and bows a little. "You have chosen well," she says, slowly walking away afterwards.
"Wonder what she's going to bring us," Lois says. She does not have to wonder long, as the waitress returns within half a minute, a large platter covered in cupcakes of every sort in one hand and a plate with two cups of tea on it in the other. Placing both on the table, she bows again, then leaves without a word.
"So... what are we supposed to do with these?" Lois asks, picking up one of the darker, more chocolatey muffins on the platter. "Eat them, right?"
* * * * *
Dave, after a little browsing, decides to get himself a practically new pair of suit pants (they seem very carefully tailored, too, and come with a very nice belt, not to mention the fact that they seem to fit very well), a ratty pair of hammer pants that definitely seem to have been around back in the eighties and used extensively for all sorts of unorthodox moves, judging from the locations and shapes of the patches, and a very nice-looking pair of Renaissance-style pantaloons that probably came from somebody stabbed to death at a renfaire, as such items often do. Replete with pants in stark contrast to his earlier state, Dave puts on the suit pants immediately, paying a grand total of four dollars for all these treasures he has obtained, and heads out of the store to take a closer look at Mills High.
From an external inspection, Dave concludes several things - for one, there seems to be a giant hole in the roof. Furthermore, the entire front of the school is covered in what look like the exploded remains of living people. The front door as well as the metal shutter covering it seem to have been hit repeatedly with washing machines that Dave is pretty sure would fetch a highly impressive price at any respectable appliance outlet. And he thinks he hears things happening inside the school right now.
Question is, with all of these telltale signs of danger before him, would that be a very good idea? For all he knows, all this gore out front could be brave adventurers that made the horrible mistake of venturing inside.
* * * * *
John deflects any responsibility for the predicament he happens to be in, probably with some justification.
"Oh, quit your bitchin'. I only had your best interests in mind. I mean, I think we can agree that this little venture was, in fact, not a great idea. Oh well, Luz, any other way to get to the roof?" he says, and Luz shrugs.
"I don't think so. There should be another door on the other side of this wing, but I don't think it's likely to be any less locked."
John takes a look at the door again. Its handle seems to have been removed a long time ago. There's just a somewhat old lock on it. From the looks of it, the door opens outward, so kicking it in is probably not a very good idea.
"Plus that watchman fucker's over there," Trey adds.
Among the alternatives John can think of is calling Mr. Lee - he still has his phone, and... huh. He seems to have one missed call from eleven minutes ago, from an unknown number. Must have been distracted at the time.
"That too. Eh, fuck it, let's try it the regular way," Luz says, facing the door again. John gets out of the way immediately, mostly out of reflex.
[Luz's affinity roll: 1-->4]
She points her hand at the door, but nothing happens. She clenches her teeth and tries again with more feeling and flourish in the gesture, but this only seems to cause something in her ribcage to poke unpleasantly against something else, and she groans before slumping up against the wall.
"Hrm... how about you guys check if you can get new spells? I'm feeling kind of down on magic right now," she says after a moment of trying to breathe as calmly and gently as possible.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 18, 2014, 08:09:20 am
Post by: Toaster on April 18, 2014, 08:17:14 am
"...well, I guess we took the right side here? Demons are bad, right? Shit, son, if I hadn't done half of this myself, I'd think someone had spiked me with acid. Maybe they did anyway."
Post by: Pancaek on April 18, 2014, 09:33:05 am
Read magazine, acquire awesome and helpful spells! Then look who called me and call them back!
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 18, 2014, 12:29:04 pm
Demonstrate cupcake-eating to Lois. Pick a chocolate one.
"I like the chocolate ones myself. You know what chocolate is, right?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 18, 2014, 12:47:57 pm
Larry stares silently for a few minutes.
"...well, I guess we took the right side here? Demons are bad, right? Shit, son, if I hadn't done half of this myself, I'd think someone had spiked me with acid. Maybe they did anyway."
"Yeah, some of this extradimensional stuff must seem pretty fucked up to you, huh? You'll get used to it pretty soon, let me tell you. Want a blessing? It'll keep the demons away."
"I like the chocolate ones myself. You know what chocolate is, right?"
"No idea, actually. What is chocolate?"
Post by: Toaster on April 18, 2014, 01:02:22 pm
Get blessed. Ask questions.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 18, 2014, 01:03:09 pm
"No idea, actually. What is chocolate?""Oh, it's those brown ones over there." said Eta, pointing at the chocolate ones. "If you mean what chocolate itself is though, it's a kind of food you make from cocoa (a plant) and some sugar to make it sweet. I love it. I've got kind of a sweet tooth myself. There's this place where they take chocolate muffins, heat them up so that the chocolate inside melts and then put some cold ice-cream on top and... and you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"
Oh, I'm such an idiot. Need to learn to shut my mouth. I should take things slow. No need to remind her how little she knows about the world. Let's start with what she knows.
"So when you said you went to law school to fly into things do you literally mean that you were taught how to fly into things in a legal manner?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 18, 2014, 01:34:28 pm
"Uhhh... sure? Know how we can get the cash to buy that factory? Or find more leylines?"
"Well, first of all, don't sell any of that dang gentlemen's literature. Seriously, guys. It's not cool. And pretty dangerous for the guys and gals up top. As for leylines... can't really help on that, sadly. Probably won't be too hard to find, just look for the place where the craziest shit happens, and you'll be set. Or maybe ask a wizard friend. That works too, y'know."
"Oh, it's those brown ones over there." said Eta, pointing at the chocolate ones. "If you mean what chocolate itself is though, it's a kind of food you make from cocoa (a plant) and some sugar to make it sweet. I love it. I've got kind of a sweet tooth myself. There's this place where they take chocolate muffins, heat them up so that the chocolate inside melts and then put some cold ice-cream on top and... and you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"
"I sort of remember something about this kind of thing. Chocolate is made of cocoa butter and/or powdered cocoa products, with no more than 40% of its weight composed of additional ingredients. You can't have non-milk-derived animal fats in it, and... you know, I'm thinking this isn't actually a chocolate muffin. Do you think it has any chocolate actually in it?"
"So when you said you went to law school to fly into things do you literally mean that you were taught how to fly into things in a legal manner?"
"Well, flying and smashing into things is kind of uncomplicated, you know. As well as illegal if you deliberately do it to another person. Other than that, as long as I don't vandalize the property with myself or any bits I happen to lose in the process, or cause property damage, I suppose they can't prosecute me too badly. Or you, since you'd be the one firing me. It'll probably be you who's blamed if you use me as a blunt object to smash things with. But it's all up for interpretation in the end, I guess. Depends on the judge and the legal system and all that crap. I'm pretty sure there are jurisdictions where people can stone me for simply flying down the street if they feel like it. And I'm fairly certain I didn't actually go to law school. It's just that... I feel like I'm supposed to say that. The knowledge is there, but there's no experience of learning it, you know?"
Post by: lawastooshort on April 18, 2014, 02:04:36 pm
Also get blessed.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 18, 2014, 02:17:04 pm
"Wow. I feel... kind of sweet. Tired, but sweet. I like the idea of busting out potato vortexes for heaven. I would like to be blessed, yeah, because I think we owe it to those nuns to go and tell them to burn that porn, man, before demons attack them. Larry, come with me dude. You don't have to come in, just stand watch. Oh, van dude - any chance you could give me a hundred euros so I can take this girl out tonight? She's really nice, the kind of girl you might take home to meet your parents, totally, and I seem to have lost all my cash. I think. Speaks in a really nice pink voice too, and isn't interested in gentleman's literature at all, which is even more relieving now I know the truth about it..."
"Don't have any money, sorry. But good luck with that anyway, man."
Post by: lawastooshort on April 18, 2014, 03:12:17 pm
Post by: Toaster on April 18, 2014, 03:14:05 pm
Assist Halesey.
Post by: lawastooshort on April 18, 2014, 03:36:39 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 18, 2014, 06:27:30 pm
"Well, of course it's not made of chocolate, silly. It just has chocolate in it... I think. At least it looks like chocolate to me."Oh, it's those brown ones over there." said Eta, pointing at the chocolate ones. "If you mean what chocolate itself is though, it's a kind of food you make from cocoa (a plant) and some sugar to make it sweet. I love it. I've got kind of a sweet tooth myself. There's this place where they take chocolate muffins, heat them up so that the chocolate inside melts and then put some cold ice-cream on top and... and you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"
"I sort of remember something about this kind of thing. Chocolate is made of cocoa butter and/or powdered cocoa products, with no more than 40% of its weight composed of additional ingredients. You can't have non-milk-derived animal fats in it, and... you know, I'm thinking this isn't actually a chocolate muffin. Do you think it has any chocolate actually in it?"
You do seem to know an awful lot about chocolate. Hmmm... I wonder, what else do you know about? Do you happen to know what is the definition of... candy?"
"Oh, don't feel the need to say things just because you're supposed to."So when you said you went to law school to fly into things do you literally mean that you were taught how to fly into things in a legal manner?""Well, flying and smashing into things is kind of uncomplicated, you know. As well as illegal if you deliberately do it to another person. Other than that, as long as I don't vandalize the property with myself or any bits I happen to lose in the process, or cause property damage, I suppose they can't prosecute me too badly. Or you, since you'd be the one firing me. It'll probably be you who's blamed if you use me as a blunt object to smash things with. But it's all up for interpretation in the end, I guess. Depends on the judge and the legal system and all that crap. I'm pretty sure there are jurisdictions where people can stone me for simply flying down the street if they feel like it. And I'm fairly certain I didn't actually go to law school. It's just that... I feel like I'm supposed to say that. The knowledge is there, but there's no experience of learning it, you know?"
Although, I wonder, how much do you actually know about law? Do you know, for example, what's the tax rate for confectioneries in this country? Or is your knowledge limited to more general things?
Or do you perhaps happen to know anything about all these... strange things that are happening? Those people call magic? Is there any law in magic or the divine world, if such things exist?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 19, 2014, 05:15:56 am
Nobody appears to be around to hear him, however. He can hear some vaguely disturbing roaring and sloshing sounds coming from deeper within, though. Taking whatever bits he can and running off is beginning to seem like an attractive prospect, honestly.
* * * * *
John decides to take Luz's advice.
"Yeah, I'll try to get something useful. Just take it easy, Luz," he says before a thought hits him. "By the way, I never asked, what with going on a mad adventure for a leyline and such, but what do you kids even do? I mean, do you still go to school or what?"
"Not lately," Trey replies.
"And we weren't exactly the most responsible students before that," Luz adds. "I think school might have been canceled the past two days, what with the freak dinosaur and shampoo weather that's been happening. We weren't planning on going, anyway."
"We've moved beyond all that school bullshit now. We're magical delinquents or something. And it's great, lemme tell you."
While Trey begins to talk about the joys of magical delinquency, John decides to take a look at his mag again.
"Hey, I'm- oh, right. Spells."
All three of the wizards then look into their respective magical thingamabobs, perusing the diagrams with determined eyes.
[John's mind roll: 4]
And this time, John does manage to center himself sufficiently to capture some spheres. Hopefully at least one of them will be useful!
Spoiler: John's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
As he makes his choice and raises his eyes from the mag, he notices Trey look kind of excited.
"I just got a cool spell!" he says. "Hang on, I'm gonna try to cast it. Okay, first off, concentrate..." he continues, then lapses into murmurs. John looks over at Luz, who seems to have slumped down to a seated position and is looking blankly forward. Uh...
"I lost my entire spell list, can you believe that?" she suddenly asks, turning to John. She seems to be... somewhat okay, John supposes. With that in mind, he tries to call back the unknown number. It takes a while, but somebody eventually picks up.
"Yis? Yello?" a voice on the other end asks.
* * * * *
Halesey and Larry agree to a blessing - after all, why would somebody refuse such a gift? The van man places his hands on both of them, and a wonderful white light surrounds them for a few moments before subsiding. When that's done, the man points to the dudes' palms, and Larry and Halesey notice an obvious difference - they appear to have a stylized, brightly glowing eye on them now, and the spot feels a bit sore now.
"It's probably going to glow and hurt for a short while, but you should be able to regulate the glow and the power soon enough. Just point it at a demon and that should send 'em running, or at least make them not want to mess with you. Your bodily fluids are a bit toxic to them now as well. And your souls smell like... well, let's not get into that, but rest assured they don't like it. Nifty, huh?" the van guy explains. At this point the wizards decide that they should head over to the nunnery, since they did leave a consignment of dangerous material there, and after this little Q&A, they suppose they should address that problem.
"Hey, I'll give you a ride over there. I'm kind of your guardian angel now, after all. Gotta help out on occasion, you know?"
Seeing no reason not to accept aid from angelic sources, Larry and Halesey take advantage of the offer, and soon they find themselves back at the gate of the nunnery, the time being about two o' clock in the afternoon when they reach the place. The place doesn't look particularly burned down, or really all that damaged, which leads the two to suspect that nothing obviously terrible has happened yet. The gate looks to still be closed, and the intercom is probably still working.
* * * * *
Eta continues her schooling of Lois in the ways of the pastry.
"Yes. Like this!" she says, picking up a chocolatey cupcake and demonstratively slowly taking a bite out of it. It's quite the wonderful cupcake, actually, and she makes a slightly surprised sound of enjoyment.
"Ah. I see," Lois says, her eyes wandering over the cupcakes, muffins and other pastries placed on the platter. "Does it matter which one I choose?"
"I like the chocolate ones myself. You know what chocolate is, right?" Eta says. It's a bit strange to try to explain things to what is, in effect, a blank slate of a person.
"No idea, actually. What is chocolate?" Lois asks in a slightly absent fashion, seemingly concentrating on the choice of cupcakes more.
"Oh, it's those brown ones over there," Eta explains, pointing out a cluster of chocolate muffins right next to the one Lois seems to be currently examining. "If you mean what chocolate itself is though, it's a kind of food you make from cocoa (a plant) and some sugar to make it sweet. I love it. I've got kind of a sweet tooth myself. There's this place where they take chocolate muffins, heat them up so that the chocolate inside melts and then put some cold ice-cream on top and... and you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"
Lois looks back at Eta, furrowing her brow for a moment. Her expression softens as she seems to remember something.
"I sort of remember something about this kind of thing. Chocolate is made of cocoa butter and/or powdered cocoa products, with no more than 40% of its weight composed of additional ingredients. You can't have non-milk-derived animal fats in it, and... you know, I'm thinking this isn't actually a chocolate muffin. Do you think it has any chocolate actually in it?" she says, critically examining the indicated muffin.
"Well, of course it's not made of chocolate, silly. It just has chocolate in it... I think. At least it looks like chocolate to me."
"It could be chocolate-flavored. Or merely have a chocolate flavor, and not contain chocolate at all," she says, picking up the muffin and examining it against the light. Unable to divine anything this way, she shrugs and takes a bite, chewing it ponderously. "Tastes good, though. I suppose that's what's important, no?" she says with her mouth slightly full, a few crumbs spilling out.
"You do seem to know an awful lot about chocolate," Eta notes. "Hmmm... I wonder, what else do you know about? Do you happen to know what is the definition of... candy?"
Lois thinks for a moment, swallowing the bite, then speaks.
"Candy, for certain intents and purposes, includes chocolate creams, bonbons, gum drops, jelly drops, jelly beans, imperials, caramels, stick candy, lozenges, taffies, candy kisses, wafers, fudges, or Italian creams, nougats, peanut brittle, sugared almonds, chocolate covered fruits, and nuts, glace or candied fruits and nuts, popcorn and other cereals and cereal products mixed with or covered with molasses, sugar or other sweetening agent, hard candies, plain and chocolate covered marshmallows, candy cough drops and sweetened licorice not taxed as cough drops, sweet chocolate and sweet milk chocolate whether plain or mixed with fruit or nuts; and all similar articles however designated," she rattles off mechanically with her eyes turned to the ceiling and seemingly keeping rhythm with swings of her hand. When she's done, she looks back at Eta. "Great care must be taken to exclude cereal breakfast foods, cake and pastries, and bitter chocolate which needs the addition of sugar before it becomes pleasing to the taste, and also goods used in the manufacture of food products such as ice cream, cakes, and pastries. That's one definition. There's others, of course, like candy being a preparation of sugar, honey, or other natural or artificial sweeteners in combination with chocolate, fruits, nuts or other ingredients or flavorings in the form of bars, drops, or pieces, and that candy shall not include any preparation containing flour and shall require no refrigeration. But candy's an unclear concept in general. Candy is candy, pretty much," she says, then takes another bite of the muffin. "This seems to be a pastry. Or maybe a cake?"
After a moment of consideration, Eta pursues a different line of questioning.
"So when you said you went to law school to fly into things do you literally mean that you were taught how to fly into things in a legal manner?" she asks.
"Well, flying and smashing into things is kind of uncomplicated, you know," she shrugs. "As well as illegal if you deliberately do it to another person. Other than that, as long as I don't vandalize the property with myself or any bits I happen to lose in the process, or cause property damage, I suppose they can't prosecute me too badly. Or you, since you'd be the one firing me. It'll probably be you who's blamed if you use me as a blunt object to smash things with. But it's all up for interpretation in the end, I guess. Depends on the judge and the legal system and all that crap. I'm pretty sure there are jurisdictions where people can stone me for simply flying down the street if they feel like it. And I'm fairly certain I didn't actually go to law school. It's just that... I feel like I'm supposed to say that. The knowledge is there, but there's no experience of learning it, you know?"
"Oh, don't feel the need to say things just because you're supposed to. Although, I wonder, how much do you actually know about law? Do you know, for example, what's the tax rate for confectioneries in this country? Or is your knowledge limited to more general things? Or do you perhaps happen to know anything about all these... strange things that are happening? Those people call magic? Is there any law in magic or the divine world, if such things exist?" Eta asks, hoping that maybe someone born of magic has inherited an understanding of it.
"Thinking about it, I guess I do know a lot," Lois says, finishing off the muffin at last. "It's like I can call up all sorts of obscure legal trivia. For instance, I think there's a sales tax here that applies to candy, though that's more of an economics thing, I think. It was somewhere around 10%, maybe a bit less? And as for magic, well, I don't have a clue. I think the laws of magic might be a bit different than the kind you learn about in law school, though. Just a feeling," she continues, seizing a smaller, non-chocolatey cupcake and popping it into her mouth. "Hm, the chocolatey ones do seem to be a bit better, to be honest," she says after a moment of quick digestion. "This one seems to have blueberry flavor plastic in it. And I think the cup might not be edible," she says, pulling out a bit of paper from between her teeth.
Post by: Pancaek on April 19, 2014, 08:11:23 am
"Ah, hello? This is John T. Deschutter speaking. It seems you tried to contact me on this number a few minutes ago, but I was otherwise engaged and couldn't pick up, sorry about that. Might I ask who I'm speaking to?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 19, 2014, 09:15:58 am
"Ah, hello? This is John T. Deschutter speaking. It seems you tried to contact me on this number a few minutes ago, but I was otherwise engaged and couldn't pick up, sorry about that. Might I ask who I'm speaking to?"
"This is Peter, aw yeah! Whatcha doin', John boy? How's the family?"
Post by: Toaster on April 19, 2014, 09:19:07 am
Post by: Pancaek on April 19, 2014, 09:33:00 am
"Ah, Peter you say? Oh, I'm fine, just got attacked by a yeti and some dude that tried to gnaw on me with teeth. I'm not sure how my family is doing. Do I have family? I kind of had a bit of stroke a while back, and I lost most of my memory. Who are you again?""Ah, hello? This is John T. Deschutter speaking. It seems you tried to contact me on this number a few minutes ago, but I was otherwise engaged and couldn't pick up, sorry about that. Might I ask who I'm speaking to?"
"This is Peter, aw yeah! Whatcha doin', John boy? How's the family?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 19, 2014, 10:06:06 am
"Ah, Peter you say? Oh, I'm fine, just got attacked by a yeti and some dude that tried to gnaw on me with teeth. I'm not sure how my family is doing. Do I have family? I kind of had a bit of stroke a while back, and I lost most of my memory. Who are you again?"
"Sounds like ya lead an exciting life there, John boy! I'm Peter, by the way. Can't remember if I have any family, either, as it happens. So, why are ya callin' me?"
Post by: Pancaek on April 19, 2014, 10:12:52 am
-snip-"Well, I'm calling you because my phone said you tried to call me. Missed calls and such. I hope I didn't make you wait too long, sorry about not picking up back then. So, what did you need to talk to me for?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 19, 2014, 10:51:36 am
"Well, I'm calling you because my phone said you tried to call me. Missed calls and such. I hope I didn't make you wait too long, sorry about not picking up back then. So, what did you need to talk to me for?"
"What did I need to talk to ya for... what indeed, John boy! Musta been pretty important for me to call ya up like that, huh? But before we get to that, ya got any booze?"
Post by: Pancaek on April 19, 2014, 10:58:22 am
"Booze? Not at the moment, no. I'm pretty sure I remember having a few beers and a bottle fo Picon at home, but I'm currently in a school building. Sorry. I've got some on me sausages, though.""Well, I'm calling you because my phone said you tried to call me. Missed calls and such. I hope I didn't make you wait too long, sorry about not picking up back then. So, what did you need to talk to me for?"
"What did I need to talk to ya for... what indeed, John boy! Musta been pretty important for me to call ya up like that, huh? But before we get to that, ya got any booze?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 19, 2014, 12:33:57 pm
"Booze? Not at the moment, no. I'm pretty sure I remember having a few beers and a bottle fo Picon at home, but I'm currently in a school building. Sorry. I've got some on me sausages, though."
"Hm... sausages, ya say? Interesting, mate. Tell me all about yer sausages, John boy."
Post by: Pancaek on April 19, 2014, 12:36:31 pm
"Well" John gets out the linked sausages he summoned a while ago. "There are a few of them, linked together. It looks like they're some kind of salami. I don't really see how this is relevant, however, I'm sure it won't surprise me one bit when you explain it to me. How do we know eachother again?""Booze? Not at the moment, no. I'm pretty sure I remember having a few beers and a bottle fo Picon at home, but I'm currently in a school building. Sorry. I've got some on me sausages, though."
"Hm... sausages, ya say? Interesting, mate. Tell me all about yer sausages, John boy."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 19, 2014, 12:41:00 pm
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 19, 2014, 01:03:36 pm
"Erm, yeah, I suppose eating the cup wouldn't be that good for you."
One would think my cupcake-eating demonstration would have covered removing the cup.
Try out the tea!
"How about the tea, do you like it? Careful, it might be a bit hot."
"Anyway, do you know anything about me? Or how you came to be here?"
Can I hear what the people around are talking about? Anything interesting?
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on April 19, 2014, 02:06:27 pm
Buzz the buzzer! Request entry! It's important.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 19, 2014, 02:32:57 pm
"Well" John gets out the linked sausages he summoned a while ago. "There are a few of them, linked together. It looks like they're some kind of salami. I don't really see how this is relevant, however, I'm sure it won't surprise me one bit when you explain it to me. How do we know eachother again?"
"How can ya say that, John boy? Aren't we friends? After all, ya called me on my birthday. If that don't make ya a friend o' mine, then I don't have any friends!"
"Erm, yeah, I suppose eating the cup wouldn't be that good for you."
One would think my cupcake-eating demonstration would have covered removing the cup.
Try out the tea!
"How about the tea, do you like it? Careful, it might be a bit hot."
The tea is quite good, you find. Not really as good as if you had made it yourself, but quality tea nevertheless. Lois, who decides to imitate what you're doing, doesn't seem to share your opinion.
"It is quite hot. What is it supposed to be?" she asks, looking fairly unimpressed.
"Anyway, do you know anything about me? Or how you came to be here?"[/color][/glow]
"You conjured me, so to speak. So you're a wizard. Or would that be a witch? That's all I know, really."
Can I hear what the people around are talking about? Anything interesting?
Some of them seem to be talking about dinosaurs (you suspect one of the fellows here may be an elderly paleontologist), while others are busy talking about things such as strange noises in the night, a rather large storm that's due to approach soon and, strangely enough, cricket. The last bit is mostly represented by a fellow talking to himself in a corner, though.
"Er, well. If you say so."
Buzz the buzzer! Request entry! It's important.
"Ah, the smut salesman from earlier, yes? What do you wish from us? Do you have more objects of interest to peddle?" comes the Prioress' voice from the intercom.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 19, 2014, 02:42:00 pm
Post by: Pancaek on April 19, 2014, 02:46:32 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on April 19, 2014, 02:53:42 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 19, 2014, 03:06:23 pm
You missed my action
I handle dialogue and really minor stuff (as in, second-long actions or minor observations) separately from the bigger actions, like yours.
"Well, happy brithday to you. And please don't be offended by this. When I said I had a little stroke and lost my memory, I didn't mean that in a figurative way, I mean that in the way that I fell to the floor, drooled for a good minute and woke up barely remembering who I was." A little embellishment never hurts "So, yeah. But please, you were about to tell me why you called me before I interrupted you with questions, please continue."
"Y'called me, John boy, don't ya remember? It was a couple minutes ago, I know, but still. Ya sure ya ain't got any booze? Might help, ya know. Sure helped my wife, it did."
"Er, not really - I come with grave news, Matron! I have chanced upon an expert in this kind of thing, and he has clearly demonstrated that this smut is pure Evil. I worry for your safety, sisters, and I implore you to let me burn it! Or, you know, just to burn it yourselves, before it attracts Evil! Please, I beg you to listen to me."
"What sort of evil is it supposed to attract, sir, if I may ask?"
Post by: Pancaek on April 19, 2014, 03:19:33 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on April 19, 2014, 03:29:53 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 19, 2014, 04:17:33 pm
"No, I'm sure I don't have any booze on me. And I called you because you called me, remember? Also, don't be surprised if I have to drop this call, I do have a murderer after me and my friends right now."
"Nah, I'm pretty sure y'called me. But anyhow, I'll call ya back later, eh? Sounds like what yer doin' is pretty important."
"Demons, ma'am. Servants of the devil."
"And why would they be interested in this particular bit of literature? Or know where it might be, in fact?"
Post by: Pancaek on April 19, 2014, 04:46:44 pm
End call. Ask Trey. Then look at my contact list on my phone. Then call mister Lee, and explain the situation I'm in.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 19, 2014, 07:53:07 pm
Eta readjusted her glasses."Erm, yeah, I suppose eating the cup wouldn't be that good for you."
One would think my cupcake-eating demonstration would have covered removing the cup.
Try out the tea!
"How about the tea, do you like it? Careful, it might be a bit hot."
The tea is quite good, you find. Not really as good as if you had made it yourself, but quality tea nevertheless. Lois, who decides to imitate what you're doing, doesn't seem to share your opinion.
"It is quite hot. What is it supposed to be?" she asks, looking fairly unimpressed.
"It's tea." she blurted out, a bit baffled by her reaction.
"Made by leaving leaves taken from a tea plant in hot water for a while and then removing them from it." she elaborated a moment later.
"Sometimes I put cinnamon or honey in it to change the flavour. It's very nice. And the warmth is good, soothing. Especially during a cold winter day or when your throat is hurting." she proceeded to defend her favourite beverage.
I guess I shouldn't judge the poor girl. Everyone's entitled to their own tastes and opinions. Who knows? Perhaps with time she'll grow to like it.
"At least, that's my opinion. Not everyone likes it." said Eta and forced a smile on her lips, even though she mentally cringed at the thought of people disliking tea.
"Oh. Well, that's good to know. It's nice to have some further confirmation on the matter. You know, ensure I'm not going crazy." said Eta, making a motion to indicate a loose screw in her brain. "This has been one crazy night. One crazy week..." Eta said to herself and sighed. She remained silent for a while, listening to the voices of the various patrons of this fine establishment while thinking about the events of those past few days."Anyway, do you know anything about me? Or how you came to be here?"
"You conjured me, so to speak. So you're a wizard. Or would that be a witch? That's all I know, really."
"Speaking of crazy... Come on, I think I got an idea!" said Eta as she got up, got her mug and walked over to the Palaeontologist, motioning for Lois to follow her.Can I hear what the people around are talking about? Anything interesting?
Some of them seem to be talking about dinosaurs (you suspect one of the fellows here may be an elderly paleontologist), while others are busy talking about things such as strange noises in the night, a rather large storm that's due to approach soon and, strangely enough, cricket. The last bit is mostly represented by a fellow talking to himself in a corner, though.
"Hello sir. I hope I'm not disturbing you. I couldn't help but overhear you talking about those dinosaurs that fell from the sky the other day and... well, you see, me and my friend here are very interested in the subject. Dinosaurs are such fascinating creatures. We would love to hear the opinion of someone who seems to know much more about those creatures than we do. Would you mind if we were to join your table?"
Strike up a conversation with the palaeontologist and his friends (assuming they don't mind, of course). What's his take on the whole dinosaur situation? Where did they come from? Did they came from a single time period? Are they real dinosaurs? And most importantly, has he heard of any live dinosaurs around here, perhaps some that we could go see?
((I know that the correct action in this type of situation would be to investigate the strange noises in the hopes they would lead to magic but the chance of meeting a dinosaur is too much to pass up.))
Post by: Toaster on April 19, 2014, 08:21:59 pm
"Demons, ma'am. Servants of the devil."
"And why would they be interested in this particular bit of literature? Or know where it might be, in fact?"
"I dunno, aren't all demons into things that are supposed to be bad for you?"
Post by: lawastooshort on April 20, 2014, 03:07:43 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 20, 2014, 04:54:27 pm
Then he notices a rather hairy, large humanoid staring down at him from the end of the hallway. It does not appear overly aggressive, but neither would Dave characterize its manner as friendly.
* * * * *
John decides to stop talking with Peter, as he clearly doesn't meet the booze requirements to continue conversation. So he hangs up after wishing the blighter a happy birthday.
"Apparently I've got some weird ass friends, no surprises there. Oh well. By the way, Trey, what was that new spell you got?" he asks, but Trey seems a little absorbed in whatever he might be trying to do.
[Trey's affinity roll: 3-1+1]
He becomes slightly yellowish and creamy-looking after a moment of what look like intensive breathing exercises, as well as a little buffer.
"Well, I guess I shouldn't have expected too much, you know? But I gotta say, for emulating a custard warrior I feel pretty good right now," he says, looking back at Luz for a moment. Luz appears to still have her nose in the book. "Uh, Luz, baby, maybe you should take it a little easy on those spells?"
Luz, seemingly interrupted, looks back at Trey. "I would, but we won't get past the door that way, will we? And this, in case you forgot, is a pretty fucking important door to get through, Trey! Pretty fucking important indeed!" she says with a nasty edge to her voice, then turns back to the book. John, meanwhile, dials Mr. Lee's number.
"Yes, hello?" asks the friendly, audibly sleepy voice of Mr. Lee on the other end.
"Yes, this is John and I'm calling to relay some-" John begins, but is cut off by Trey, who seems to have caught some of Luz's peevishness.
"Who the fuck are you calling, anyway?" he asks all of a sudden.
* * * * *
After a bit of conversation with Lois, Eta has an idea that'll take her mind off the fact that she seems to have somehow produced some kind of hellish being that doesn't seem able to enjoy tea.
"Speaking of crazy... Come on, I think I got an idea!" she says, getting up with her tea and motioning for Lois to do the same. She then walks up to the table with the paleontologist and his suspiciously large number of distinguished, somewhat elderly friends - including the paleontologist, there seem to be five of them in total, and the table seems quite crowded.
"Hello sir. I hope I'm not disturbing you. I couldn't help but overhear you talking about those dinosaurs that fell from the sky the other day and... well, you see, me and my friend here are very interested in the subject. Dinosaurs are such fascinating creatures. We would love to hear the opinion of someone who seems to know much more about those creatures than we do. Would you mind if we were to join your table?"
They don't seem to notice her at all, though, so engrossed are they in the discussion of dinosaurs, which Eta has to admit must be a more exciting topic of conversation now that there's been a fresh crop of them.
"It was just like that movie, I tell you," a rather fat fellow says, taking a sip of tea.
"Jurassic Park?" the mousy woman next to him says.
"No, no, that other one! The one with the lawnmower!" the man rebukes her.
"Lawnmower Man?" an even fatter lady at the opposite end of the table remarks.
"No!" the man says, tapping his head. "The violent one, with the strange fellows in it!"
"The Empire Strikes Back?" a sticklike, cheery individual looking like a slightly more alive James Joyce offers.
"Nah, nah, it was... oh, Braindead! Yes, Braindead! That's exactly what it was like!" the fat man says triumphantly.
"Complete with a zombie pregnancy?" the paleontologist fellow asks.
"Well, there were some eggshells lying around. Big ones, too. And the priest did rush out looking very feisty. Had that fire in his eyes, you know?"
"Brimming with that holy ki, he must have been."
"I bet he was, too. Didn't have anywhere to put it, though, that giant bastard of a dinosaur practically exploded when it hit Phyllis' house. But it did take Phyllis with it, so I suppose it's all good, yeah?" the fat man laughs, and the others do as well. They promptly take a sip of tea almost synchronously. They still don't seem to acknowledge Eta or Lois in any way, even though Eta's pretty sure she should be in the field of vision of at least one of them. But you never know with these old people, do you?
* * * * *
Larry decides to pitch in despite his rather crippling distrust of holy women.
"I dunno, aren't all demons into things that are supposed to be bad for you?" he says at the intercom.
"And I think they just know, man... ma'am... They can sense the evilness?"
The Prioress does not seem overly moved.
"We'll... take your advice into consideration, at any rate," she says. "Good of you to warn us and all that. Now, will that be all?"
Post by: lawastooshort on April 20, 2014, 05:00:37 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 20, 2014, 05:05:30 pm
"I am sorry, ma'am, and I mean no disrespect to your holiness, but I cannot rest until I am sure that you have destroyed that filth. You and all your flock are in mortal danger, and I have sworn to avert it. Please, destroy the filth, before my own eyes! I shall grovel and plead if need be, ma'am."
"You seem to have changed your opinion rather dramatically over the past few hours. We are not yet done looking through them all. We will destroy them when we have. Agreed?"
Post by: Pancaek on April 20, 2014, 05:07:56 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 20, 2014, 05:12:00 pm
"Hold on a second, please." He hold his hand over the spekaer and turn to Trey. "I'm calling around for help and good conversations. I just got off the phone wishing my friend Peter a happy birthday and now I'm calling mister Lee for advice on how to continue from here. Now would you be quiet, it's terribly rude to interrupt someone who's having a covnersation"
"Don't you talk to that motherfucker!" Trey shouts. "I mean it, man! Shit is verboten, you hear me?"
Post by: Pancaek on April 20, 2014, 05:16:04 pm
"Aber wirklich? Das ist verboten? And who are you, young man, to tell me who I can talk to? I'm trying to get us out of this mess. And you will note that Lee, however much of a pain in the ass he is to all of us, has been doing this magic business much longer than we have"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 20, 2014, 06:41:48 pm
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 20, 2014, 08:04:21 pm
Well, that was rather rude of them. But I guess there's no harm in staying a bit longer. After all, I haven't been listening to the news too much (not that they're very informative) so I guess this is as good a chance as any to learn about what's going on around here.
Wonder who Phyllis is (or rather was) and why a priest went in her house.
Keep listening.
Post by: Toaster on April 20, 2014, 09:52:00 pm
((Haha, just watched Braindead. Zombie pregnancy...))
((Classic movie, there.))
Larry grunts and whispers to Halesey, "Can't we just get out of here?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 21, 2014, 03:45:16 am
John's left eyebrow shoots up, a skill he picked up during the many conversations with the local drunk trying to convince him the moon was made out of cheese.
"Aber wirklich? Das ist verboten? And who are you, young man, to tell me who I can talk to? I'm trying to get us out of this mess. And you will note that Lee, however much of a pain in the ass he is to all of us, has been doing this magic business much longer than we have"
"I'm warning you. Hang up right now, or we're gonna have a problem!"
Post by: Pancaek on April 21, 2014, 06:45:04 am
"Well then, Trey, regale me, what is your brilliant plan to get us out of here? Because, I just ended my call with a man who is very much a master of the magic arts and who was sure to tell me something helpful. But, I'm positive you know a way to get us out of this mess. You know, the one where Luz has lost her spellbook, you're made up out of fucking custard, and there's a asshole watchman after us who wants to get us munched by his teeth portals.
So, yeah, enlighten me with your genius tactics, Trey. And lost the fucking hostility, no-one likes a man who turns into a fucking coward when he feels his imminent death coming."
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 21, 2014, 08:28:50 am
John speaks into the phone "Sorry, I'm going to have to call you back" And presses the end call button.
"Well then, Trey, regale me, what is your brilliant plan to get us out of here? Because, I just ended my call with a man who is very much a master of the magic arts and who was sure to tell me something helpful. But, I'm positive you know a way to get us out of this mess. You know, the one where Luz has lost her spellbook, you're made up out of fucking custard, and there's a asshole watchman after us who wants to get us munched by his teeth portals.
So, yeah, enlighten me with your genius tactics, Trey. And lost the fucking hostility, no-one likes a man who turns into a fucking coward when he feels his imminent death coming."
"Easiest thing to do now is to go and fuck up that watchman guy and take his keys while Luz tries to get new spells over here. He hasn't got the height advantage no more, and we might get the drop on him. And you think that old bastard is just gonna scamper on out of his pawn shop and come to your rescue when you tell him what you've been up to? Are you gonna skip the parts where you're helping us do exactly what he doesn't want us to, and where you basically bombed a public school in the process? Besides, 'master of the magic arts'? Really? He's had his spellbook for two weeks, tops. Joanie'd fuck him up without breaking a sweat."
Post by: Pancaek on April 21, 2014, 08:37:13 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 21, 2014, 08:41:19 am
"Tough words, sir bleed-a-lot. But you've got a point, we've got to silence the watchman, can't have destruction of public proprety on my criminal record. So, what spells do you have to rival mister watchman clackety-death-trap-deluxe? Because I've got jack shit unless he's allergic to tobacco. And I don't think phasing even more yeti's into existence is going to help us either."
"Why do we need spells? Let's just beat the shit out of him, then throw him to the yetis. Or just hurl him down three floors and hope for the best. Problem solved. You distract him, I creep up on him and bam, you know?"
Post by: Pancaek on April 21, 2014, 12:07:46 pm
Let Trey lead the way. Assist him in whataver mad plan he's going to try
Post by: darkpaladin109 on April 22, 2014, 03:55:23 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 23, 2014, 01:04:00 pm
* * * * *
Eta, keeping still and not making a lot of noise so as to not spook the elderly people if they can indeed hear her, continues to listen to the conversation of the group of friends.
"I wonder when this place closes," the thinner woman asks, making an absurd beard-stroking motion as she does so.
"Not sure, myself! Probably not too long from now - it does seem to be pretty late," the fat man says, looking at his wrist, and looking somewhat disappointed when there's no watch on it.
"Seems improbable they'd close on a busy night like this. I mean, there's still people coming in," the paleontologist notes.
"Maybe they'll pull an all-nighter, eh?"
"Well, Geraldine's not going to have any trouble staying awake, is she? Old bat's practically undead, the way she carries on."
"My grandpa was kind of like that until they nabbed him in '49 for stabbing hookers," the James Joyce lookalike says, adjusting his glasses and smiling weakly.
"They nabbed people for that back then?" the paleontologist asks.
"Gramps was a bit of an enthusiast, shall we say."
"Now, did he just stab hookers or did he do something else as well?" the portly woman asks, leaning in toward the fellow.
"Oh, he did all sorts of things. Stabbing was foreplay to the man," the man says with delight, licking his lips slightly.
"I pity your grandmother!" the fat man guffaws.
"I do too! She always had to stay up late and help him make all those funny dresses. Hah, grandpa was a man of many talents, but hopeless with a needle," the thin man says, looking into the distance wistfully.
"My grandpa once poked his eye out trying to patch up his Sunday pants. He wouldn't get it looked at for weeks. The smell was terrible after a while. And having to clean it was even worse! We had to get him so drunk to get him to stay still, you don't even know," the mousy lady says, laughing.
"My grandma used to make me clean up the family crypt. She'd even inspect the bones afterward, can you believe that? 'Lookit ol' great-grandpa Eric!' she'd say, and then slap me across the back of the head, 'he's falling apart! Put his jaw back the way it's supposed to be!'. She liked her corpses clean and proper, let me tell you. And she'd always make sure I washed my hands cleaner than clean, or there'd be trouble."
Quite the scintillating conversation happening over here, all in all.
"So, what're we doing?" Lois asks Eta, looking slightly bored.
* * * * *
John, reluctantly on board with Trey's "plan", lets the teenaged delinquent lead the way on their path of physical assault. They head down the hallway carefully, but only for a moment, because all of a sudden the watchman, looking a little messed up and limping a tad, comes around the corner and runs towards them, looking back to see if anything seems to be following.
"Uh... let's get 'im?" Trey improvises, and the two fellows run toward the night watchman.
[Trey's finesse roll: 3+2]
[John's finesse roll: 2]
[Night Watchman's finesse roll: 3]
Trey, however, seems to be the only one showing sufficient immediate enthusiasm to capitalize on this opportunity, intercepting the man immediately and only giving him the chance to utter a slight "Huh?" before attempted assault begins!
[Trey vs. Night Watchman: 4 vs. 1]
The teenager, in a fit of custardly aggression, delivers a powerful spin kick to the guy's side, knocking his kidney around something fierce from the sound of it. The night watchman curls up into a ball, sent off his feet by the kick, and falls into the corner, groaning in pain. He looks to have been quite surprised indeed by the sudden attack.
"Can't say I expected that to work out so well, really," Trey says, looking slightly surprised at the incapacitated watchman. "Help me search him, man! We gotta hurry!"
John, not really having a strong inclination to do anything else, helps out and together they manage to strip the man of all of his valuables: John manages to get straight to the keys as well as a pack of chewing gum, while Trey handily removes the guy's wallet and phone. After looking at each other's loot, they nod in approval.
"Plunder!" Trey yells, then kicks the watchman sharply again before he and John run back to Luz, who seems to be looking their way already.
"Nice work there, babe," she says quietly as Trey helps her to her feet.
"Emulating a custard warrior is the best thing I've done all day, let me tell you," Trey says, then turns to John. "Get that door open, and make sure to lock it behind us, yeah? Wouldn't want that guy following us."
* * * * *
Time seems to slow down as Myles come to a decision regarding the man. Though doubtlessly strange, he probably has worthwhile information. He seems to know what magic is, anyway. So Myles just stands still and lets the man come closer, only slightly shrinking back when an overpowering stench of vinegar assails his nostrils when he draws close.
"And you actually stopped," the man says, putting his hand on Myles' shoulder. It feels wet, and the guy's touch tingles quite a lot. "Don't get many people who do that these days. Least of all you wizardly types. Cagey bunch of bastards, all of 'em. 'Cept for you, obviously."
He inhales, slightly wheezing as he regards Myles with his watery eyes.
"Wonder what to do with you. Say, you signed up with anyone yet?" he asks, leaning in to an uncomfortable distance. "Want a drink, maybe?" he offers his bottle.
Post by: Toaster on April 23, 2014, 01:16:49 pm
"I do too! She always had to stay up late and help him make all those funny dresses. Hah, grandpa was a man of many talents, but hopeless with a needle," the thin man says, looking into the distance wistfully.
((OH DEAR.))
Larry harshly elbows Halesey, hoping the odd man responds. He didn't like to talk to nuns.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 23, 2014, 01:46:50 pm
((Indeed.))"I do too! She always had to stay up late and help him make all those funny dresses. Hah, grandpa was a man of many talents, but hopeless with a needle," the thin man says, looking into the distance wistfully.((OH DEAR.))
Slowly back away, trying to remain undetected. Do not look at them in the eyes. They can smell fear.
If successful, get out of there and check my matches while talking to Lois.
"I was hoping I could get some information on those dinosaurs that rained from the sky the other day but... that conversation turned out far weirder than I expected."
Post by: lawastooshort on April 23, 2014, 02:32:23 pm
Leave! Head to the centre of town or something?
Post by: Pancaek on April 23, 2014, 02:50:05 pm
Open the door, go through the door, lock the door and follow the kid's lead.
Post by: Toaster on April 23, 2014, 02:51:38 pm
Knock off to the pub with Halesey. Ponder where we're ever going to get that money.
Post by: lawastooshort on April 23, 2014, 03:08:21 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 23, 2014, 03:23:37 pm
((Much more concerned about getting enough to take the pink girl out for a date first dude. Do we really need €100 000 to fengshui a leyline? I mean, yes, because our mentor says so, but couldn't we just... get rid of him? Because the only alternative to murder here is serious crime. Or expensive dates. We need to actually come up with a plan. Either we murder him, or we stake out a security van loaded with cash and launch vortexes at it, and hope cash spills out somehow... Or... erm.))((You've got those black soul-equivalent tokens from the pigeon-demon. The one you sold the porn to, the one that probably spread the word to other demons about your literature. You could always summon a demon and give one of your tokens for money.))
Post by: Toaster on April 23, 2014, 03:43:24 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on April 23, 2014, 03:47:54 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 23, 2014, 03:53:12 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 23, 2014, 04:20:58 pm
((They're probably rather pissed at us right now. Potato-based violence is tempting- Larry and Halesey are rather near the Dark Path, despite our angelic blessing and all.))((So what? No reason to not play both sides against the middle (the middle being more power for you).
"Gentlemen's Literature Salesman: Double Agent"))
Post by: Toaster on April 24, 2014, 01:04:20 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 24, 2014, 03:50:11 pm
"Er. Right. Well, if there's any... like... stuck toget-ew, no, specifically, stapled together, please, for the love of God - and I take not His name in vain, I am totally fe- incredibly serious, please do not open them. It be upon your soul if you do. Right, Larry, let's go to town and try to relax or something before this evening. I have to meet thingy at, er, 8pm? Let's go eat or something," he begins telling the Prioress, switching mental gears midway through and then turning to Larry to propose lunch.
"Sure. Today was really fu-uuhh... very weird," Larry seems to agree, glancing uncomfortably at the intercom, and then the two men, having said all that was needed, vacate the premises post-haste. Their celestial friend seems to be waiting, and looks more than eager to take the gang into town - when asked if he hasn't got anything better to do, it is entirely likely that he would say no, it seems. In record time, Larry and Halesey find themselves in the center of town, right when the clock strikes 3 o' clock in the afternoon! By miraculous coincidence, that seems to be Happy Hour at one particular pub called the Golden Noon Mountain. It's one of those fake Chinese Irish pubs, looks like, but neither Larry nor Halesey have heard anything bad about fake Chinese Irish pubs in town lately, so they guess it'll have to do. They wander right in through the four-leaf clover-shaped door and are immediately treated to a rather wonderful bit of traditional Irish atmosphere, or at least the more memetic aspects of it. Namely, there appears to be a copious amount of alcohol in the place, and people appear to be fighting a bit right now, all in good fun, naturally. And also the speaker system seems to be playing disco music. That's a little strange.
Aside from the assorted people fighting it out while the staff watch and place bets, there seem to be two people apart from the wise-looking bartender not partaking of the violence - an elderly man in red hair sitting in one corner, and a young Asian woman in a very short skirt dancing wildly and slightly arrhythmically within a meter's distance from Halesey.
* * * * *
Eta decides to back away before she is provided with even more information she didn't feel like knowing about old people, pulling Lois along with her. Once they are outside of spitting distance of the creepy old codgers, she explains the problem here.
"I was hoping I could get some information on those dinosaurs that rained from the sky the other day but... that conversation turned out far weirder than I expected."
"I see. Perhaps I could go and ask them for information? Maybe they did not hear you properly?"
It occurs to Eta that a full hour has elapsed since she put matches in the matchbox - a fact that may prove to be of use!
* * * * *
John finds Trey's plans agreeable now that at least one of them has been proven to work.
"I agree, I'm sure he really doesn't like us now. By the way, that was one hell of an attack, Sir Custard. I'm impressed. I had my doubts about your plan, but it looks like I was worrying for nothing, eh?" he says reassuringly as he unlocks the stairwell upward and his friends move through it onto the barely visible concrete steps leading to the roof.
"It's all in the spell, man," Trey says. "And that wasn't even the real thing - just a shadow, that's all. Wonder what'll happen when it works for real!"
"Hopefully you won't collapse in on yourself," Luz notes, slowly ascending the stairs with Trey's help as John securely locks the door behind them while following suit. The ascent is short, but satisfying as John, after unlocking the second door that actually leads outside at the top of the stairs, not an easy task since the light in the room seems to have gone out ages ago, finds himself on the sloped, corrugated roof of the building - the footing is hardly the safest, but with proper care there shouldn't be too much trouble navigating it, John guesses. Aside from the area around the big hole in the roof - that bit looks pretty precarious.
"Oh god. It was raining recently, too," Luz says, looking a bit uneasy as she regards the path ahead.
"It'll be fine. We just need to be careful," Trey says. "Where was the leyline again?"
"Somewhere up ahead, I think?" Luz says distractedly.
* * * * *
Dave, thinking he's hearing sounds of combat from afar, walks upstairs and finds himself in yet another typical school hallway, complete with numbered classroom doors and occasional seats placed along the wall. Unlike the other hallways, though, this one seems to feature a young ginger fellow sitting on the floor and cursing to himself. He looks pretty beat-up, if Dave may say so himself. The man appears to be entirely occupied with something, and doesn't seem to pay Dave any mind. Wonder what his issue might be?
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 24, 2014, 04:04:34 pm
If he attacks me I cast Inconceivable Hogweed Bolt
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on April 24, 2014, 04:20:26 pm
Approach the arrhythmic dancer!
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 24, 2014, 04:52:57 pm
Remembering the story of the little girl with the matches, Eta decided to try a small experiment.
Watch Lois, in case they try to do something to her. If she happens to return this turn, tell her I'm going to try somewhat, then strike two matches at the same time, see what happens.
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on April 24, 2014, 10:14:01 pm
Buy a beer; sit and leer.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 24, 2014, 11:46:55 pm
"Ho' friend!"
If he attacks me I cast Inconceivable Hogweed Bolt
The man turns his head to you with a pained expression.
"Who the f-eh, doesn't matter. Gimme a phone."
You realize that you kept your phone in your pants pocket, and that it doesn't seem to be there anymore on account of that particular pair disintegrating along with any possessions within.
"Hi. Wow. That's some pretty awesome moves you got there, Miss... I ddn't catch your name, sorry? Can I buy you a drink?"
Approach the arrhythmic dancer!
The woman freezes in place for a moment, then turns her head toward you. Her pupils seem to rather dilated.
"I... uh... I'm... er, yeah! A drink sounds fantastic! Do I know you?" she says, a visible shiver going through her body.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 25, 2014, 10:18:56 am
Post by: Pancaek on April 25, 2014, 10:24:52 am
Attempt to sense where the leyline is. Ask the kids if it's allright to try and get tot the leyline. If it is okay with them, try and get there, but very very carefuly.
Post by: lawastooshort on April 25, 2014, 02:16:44 pm
"I... uh... I'm... er, yeah! A drink sounds fantastic! Do I know you?" she says, a visible shiver going through her body.
"Er, no? No, I don't think so. You cold? Or, you know, some kind of demon? What will you have to drink?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 25, 2014, 02:25:53 pm
"Er, no? No, I don't think so. You cold? Or, you know, some kind of demon? What will you have to drink?"
"I'll have... a peach Bellini? Do they serve those here? I'm not sure, myself."
Post by: lawastooshort on April 25, 2014, 02:59:36 pm
Order a peach bellini, and a... chinese guinness? Make that two, because I can't imagine Larry turning one down.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 26, 2014, 06:31:44 am
"I'm sorry, but the pants my phone was in exploded due to my underwear becoming very distracting and then causing severe structural damage to a building," he explains, much to the displeasure of the man.
"Well, what good are you then?" he asks irritably.
[Night Watchman's finesse roll: 1-->6-1]
[Dave's finesse roll: 4-1]
The watchman raises his hands menacingly at Dave, but Dave, most fortunately, happens to have had a plan for that event, snapping into action immediately.
[Dave's affinity roll: 4-1]
[Dave's finesse roll: 2-1]
With a nonchalant gesture, he flicks a suddenly-materialized and entirely confusing hogweed at the general direction of the man, rather disappointed when it flops soundlessly at the wall right next to the nasty fellow. The guy stares at the hogweed for a moment, then shrugs and resumes his menacing gestures.
[Night Watchman's affinity roll: 3+1]
Dave wonders what exactly the guy's trying to do when he suddenly becomes aware of a rather alarming clackety-clack behind him.
[Dave's body roll: 1-->5-1]
As he turns around to look, he notices that there appears to be a hole in reality forming behind him, filled with what look to be false teeth! He has only seconds to take in this information, for he immediately feels himself get pulled toward it in a most terrible fashion! And the closer he is pulled, the more powerful the pull! His legs were not meant to take this kind of strain, and so he is taken off his feet, sliding very quickly toward the now-sizable vortex of awful dentures.
* * * * *
Eta guesses it couldn't hurt too badly for Lois to go and talk to the hideous old people with strange childhoods and oddly breezy attitude toward implied murder.
"I... Yeah. I mean, if you really want to. I'd really like to know if there are any around here. Just be careful, OK? I'll be waiting for you right here."
"Very well, be back momentarily," Lois says, nonchalantly walking back to the table, and asks the paleontologist a question, looming over the table in a slightly forceful manner.
"Are there any dinosaurs around?"
The flow of conversation at the table seems to be interrupted as the five elderly individuals all regard Lois.
"A bit rude to interrupt a friendly conversation like that, isn't it, young lady?" the thin woman remarks.
"I wouldn't know, myself," Lois says. "Is it?"
"It is, actually. And honestly, I'm not really feeling like answering your question as a result, miss," the paleontologist remarks, sipping his tea.
"Ah. I see. Do the people with you know, perhaps?" she replies, looking over the rest of the group.
"Of course there's dinosaurs around, silly girl!" the portly woman says. "There was a whole rain of them just recently!"
"Oh. What are dinosaurs, anyway?"
"Think lizards, but more upright," the creepy fellow says, making the paleontologist guy smile a little.
"Do they do anything interesting?"
"No, not really," the fat man says, and Lois nods. She doesn't seem to have any more questions.
"If those were your most pressing questions, could you please leave us now, miss? I'm getting pretty tired of spending every waking moment being harassed with dinosaur talk, thank you very much," the paleontologist says with mounting irritation.
"Why do people harass you with dinosaur talk?"
"Probably because they're ignorant. I'm not even one of those dinosaur geeks. I'm actually a paleoanthropologist."
"I don't know what that is. I am highly ignorant, though, so that might explain it," Lois says flatly.
"Well, at least you admit it. That's a step up from the regular people. All you really need to know is that dinosaurs are like dogs, bears or elephants. Don't piss them off and don't wander too close, and you'll be fine mostly."
Lois seems about to ask another question, but then evidently thinks better of it and walks back to Eta, shockingly unharmed from this latest exposure to humans. The elders look at her as she leaves, but after that it doesn't take them long to return to conversing about whatever topics other than dinosaurs people talk about these days.
"There are dinosaurs, but they're like dogs, bears and elephants, and also like lizards that are more upright," she says to her summoner. "I have no idea what most of those are, but you probably do, right?" she says, and Eta nods.
"Hold on a moment, I'm going to try something, alright?" she says.
"Of course," Lois replies, and Eta, in a fit of brilliance, gets two matches out of the matchbook and proceeds to strike both of them dramatically, holding them out while Lois looks on.
"I wonder if it's legal to... ooh..." she begins to say, but trails off as she stares at the lit matches. Eta is similarly transfixed, staring at the dark flame that, curiously enough, only one of the matches seems to produce - the other one looks completely ordinary. But before she can devote much thought to this, the blackness of the rightmost lit match fills her vision until she finds herself in darkness once more.
[Eta's mind roll: 3+1]
This time it feels like a different room - for one, it seems to smell vaguely of chlorine, and feels altogether more metallic, with jagged edges and rather precariously placed stuff all around her. Nevertheless, it seems to be not overly difficult to navigate, and Eta eventually finds a lever - believing that this is probably what she's looking for, she pulls it, and the air suddenly begins to smell far different, like something between crude oil and fresh flowers in spring, with an alien tinge to it that Eta cannot even describe - the smell fills her nostrils and makes her feel unsteady, causing her to press her back to the wall as the room, despite nothing being visible, proceeds to spin around her. And before she knows it, she passes out.
Spoiler: Eta's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
As Eta regains her bearings, she notices Lois staring at the extinguished matches in puzzlement.
"Was that magic? It felt interesting," she says. Eta notices that the ancient waitress appears to be regarding them with a lot of suspicion right now.
* * * * *
John has doubts on whether treading on a roof like this is the best idea, but a leyline is a leyline, even though John's not entirely sure what that means, and so he continues onward.
"Right...so, do you guys think you're up for this, because this looks like some mighty dangerous ground here. Be careful not to take a wrong step, alright?"
"Luz, I think you'd best be crawling, eh?" Trey suggests.
"Yeah. It'd be stupid to fall off this damn roof after all we've gone through," Luz says, sitting down on the roof and proceeding carefully along with her companions. John's still pretty sure the leyline is up ahead, and also a little... upward? As he and his friends draw closer to the hole, a magical tingle intensifies along his body. The leyline, it seems, is above the hole. And the roof, broken as it is in that area, looks downright precarious.
"I wonder if we can reach it from here... hm..." Luz says, then closes her eyes, beginning to shiver violently and glow a little.
"What the fuck? Luz? What's happening?" Trey asks, but Luz only continues twisting in place, looking like she's having a seizure for a moment until she goes limp again, opening her eyes.
"Wow. So, yeah. That works," she says, looking rather tranquil.
"What happened?"
"I... sort of aligned myself, I guess?" she says, sitting up. "Nothing seems to hurt anymore. That's interesting, I guess."
"What?"
"Seems like the leyline healed me. Try it. Try to sense it, reach out to it. It's a bit difficult from this distance, but it's possible."
Trey looks out toward the sky doubtfully for a moment.
"Huh. I do sort of get the idea that something's there, to be honest."
"A whole lot of something's there, babe," Luz smiles. "Just gotta reach out and touch it."
* * * * *
While Larry tackles the crucially important issue of fixing himself up with a beer, a problem the bartender, a slender Vietnamese man in his fifties with dyed red hair who seems to have absolutely mastered a rural Northern Irish accent, seeing how one can't really understand more than a few words of what he's saying (though he seems very good-natured, at any rate), is very eager to help him with, providing a pint of Goodness, which Larry finds to be an entirely palatable, if rather strong ale. It nearly distracts him from his leering at the girl Halesey's chatting up. When the two walk over to the bar, Larry still leers, albeit a bit more discreetly than before.
"I'll have a peach Bellini and a... uh... Chinese Guinness? Make that two," he says, and the bartender nods and says something Irish in response. Moments later, a rather resplendent Bellini and two pints of Goodness are before Halesey, and Halesey sends one pint over to Larry in recognition of his continued achievements in societal advancement. The girl, for her part, seizes the Bellini and drinks it quite quickly, spilling a bit of it on herself carelessly in the process.
"Oh wow, did I need that or what," she says, looking at Halesey, who seems to be enjoying his ale. "By the way, who's your friend-no, wait, uh... scratch that, who are you again?" she asks a moment after putting her glass down, taking a brief moment to either admire her own manicure or maybe to consider the fact that her hands are shaking. "Heh, you ever feel like your heart might, like, stop at any moment? I'm getting that sort of feeling right now. Creeps me out. I really need another drink. Something stronger. How's the, uh, beer? Can I have some?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 26, 2014, 10:57:11 am
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on April 26, 2014, 02:10:50 pm
Get another couple of beers!
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 26, 2014, 05:17:31 pm
"Was that magic? It felt interesting,""Yes, at least, I think so. I got-" Eta glanced at the waitress. There was always a chance she was simply suspicious as to why Eta was staring at those matches, but she didn't want to take that chance. Better have this conversation away from curious ears.
"actually, I think it might be best if we continued this conversation outside. Is that all right?" she said and started walking out.
Get out on the street, unless Lois objects. Find a secluded place to talk.
"Sorry, I just thought it would be better if we talked in a more private place. I am unsure of whether or not talking about these things in public is safe. I just learned about magic today.
You see, I just got this matchbox about an hour ago from a man calling himself Mr. Pilton. He told me that if I lit a match, it would teach me things about magic. I didn't believe him at first, I mean, who would? But the first match I lit gave me some words, a kind of spell, I think. 'Lawyer Wave' it was called. I didn't knew exactly what it would do, frankly I thought it might produce a watery wave with a knowledge of law, but instead it produced... well, it produced you. I- I would have never imagined creating life would be so easy. And now that I did it again, I got these words: 'Render Canned Goods Undetectable'. And I heard a voice talk to me. But the strangest thing is, that both times I lit a match, I felt like I was transported somewhere else. A dark room. I could see nothing. And I had to feel my way around the room and do something. And the second time felt much harder than the first time. And, well.. I'm afraid. I know that I'm not really in that room, but what will happen if- if I can''t find my way around the room? If I get stuck somewhere? If I get hurt? What will happen to me then?"
Eta paused for a few seconds to think and catch her breath.
On one hand, it felt good saying this to someone else. It helped calm her and get her thoughts in order, at the very least.
On the other hand, hearing her story out loud didn't make her feel very good about her choices.
Is this just the first step on an exciting adventure? Or have I done something incredibly stupid and ruined my life?
Whatever it is, I know I can't stop now. If things keep getting worse around here, then I'll need to learn how to use this thing to protect myself.
"I was hoping that lighting two matches at the same time might make navigating it a bit easier, but it turns out it doesn't work like that after all."
Eta sighed. She turned to Lois and smiled.
"I guess I'm a lot like you in that regard: It's all new to me and there are so many things I don't know."
Like, what does Undetectable mean? Does it simply make it invisible or does it work on perception itself, making it impossible to perceive by any means, touch, sound or smell? And what qualifies as canned goods? Does it only involve airtight containers of perishable products? Any sort of airtight container? Colourful bows in trash-cans? Does it apply to both the content and the container? Does the container have to be sealed? And at what distance does it work?
So many things to try... Too bad this matchbox doesn't contain an instruction manual.
I guess I better go find a can, then? Moping leads to nothing useful, after all. Better find out what this thing can do.
"Sorry if I talked your ears off, I just felt like talking to someone."
"Wait, you said it made you feel something? What did it make you feel?"
Talk.
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on April 26, 2014, 05:22:14 pm
Do as Luz says and try to sense and touch the leyline, observe results
Post by: Toaster on April 26, 2014, 09:29:51 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 27, 2014, 02:27:53 pm
[Dave's affinity roll: 4-1]
A single pair of luminous pink boxers shoots out of his fingertips and flies about as he is pulled toward the depths of denture hell!
[Dave's body roll: 1-->4-1-1]
And before he can even come up with a clever plan, Dave finds himself sucked into a different dimension, in a twist he certainly did not expect he would encounter when he woke up this morning. Pinkish extraneous bits and pointy white teeth press up against his flesh as he tumbles through the mass of dentures, the tiny scratches the dentures produce immediately beginning to hurt terribly from salt getting rubbed into them! Dave is in quite a lot of pain within moments, and the vortex he seems to have fallen through continues to shrink as the flow of dentures takes him further and further away. And before he can even begin swimming toward it in earnest, the vortex simply closes up as abruptly as it opened, leaving Dave quite stranded!
That... probably could have gone better, he has to admit. Interestingly, even though the vortex is gone, he is still very much adrift, and the dentures continue to flow, and in a roughly similar direction as before, no less. Aside from the clacking of dentures, Dave is pretty sure he can also hear what sounds like roaring off in the distance.
* * * * *
Halesey obliges the young lady's drink demands quite gladly.
"The beer's pretty good. You want this one? I'll get another pair. My friend's called Larry, I can introduce you if you like. My name's Ben, I'm a mage. Say, why do you think your heart's gonna stop? What you been up to? Someone bothering you?" he says, motioning to the bartender to bring two more Goodnesses over, which he does quickly and effectively.
"Why don't you get her a carbomb instead? That's good stuff, there," Larry suggests, but somewhat shrinks back when the bartender, evidently sympathetic to the plight of the Irish, gives him quite the major stinkeye.
The girl begins to chug the beer as soon as it arrives, stopping only after swallowing about half a pint, at which point she turns to Halesey.
"This beer is pretty good. And don't worry about me, I'll be totally fine. I just get these, like, doomy feelings once in a while. I'm Sherry, by the way," she says, then resumes drinking until the rest of the pint is finished. "You know, this stuff is really dang good! I think I need to get Frankie over here. Mind calling her over? She should be by the bathrooms - tall, dark, slim, can't miss her. Maybe your friend can buy me a drink in the meantime or something, yeah?" she suggests, smiling over at Larry.
* * * * *
Eta is on the verge of pouring her heart out to Lois right here in the tea and cake shop, but thinks better of it as she becomes aware of the waitress' suspicious look. After bringing up the matter of leaving with Lois (who passively approves as usual), she proceeds to vacate the premises before the waitress can even think of bringing up the matter of payment for the partially-eaten muffin platter and two cups of tea. Taking Lois over to a secluded corner behind one of the more popular non-brand-name fast food restaurants in town, Chutney's, she decides to tell her everything of reasonable relevance to this entire thing.
"Sorry, I just thought it would be better if we talked in a more private place. I am unsure of whether or not talking about these things in public is safe. I just learned about magic today," she begins her tale. "You see, I just got this matchbox about an hour ago from a man calling himself Mr. Pilton. He told me that if I lit a match, it would teach me things about magic. I didn't believe him at first, I mean, who would? But the first match I lit gave me some words, a kind of spell, I think. 'Lawyer Wave' it was called. I didn't knew exactly what it would do, frankly I thought it might produce a watery wave with a knowledge of law, but instead it produced... well, it produced you. I- I would have never imagined creating life would be so easy. And now that I did it again, I got these words: 'Render Canned Goods Undetectable'. And I heard a voice talk to me. But the strangest thing is, that both times I lit a match, I felt like I was transported somewhere else. A dark room. I could see nothing. And I had to feel my way around the room and do something. And the second time felt much harder than the first time. And, well.. I'm afraid. I know that I'm not really in that room, but what will happen if- if I can''t find my way around the room? If I get stuck somewhere? If I get hurt? What will happen to me then?" she tells her lawyer friend in about three total breaths, then pausing to get some oxygen and fresher thoughts. "I was hoping that lighting two matches at the same time might make navigating it a bit easier, but it turns out it doesn't work like that after all." Calming down a little, she smiles. "I guess I'm a lot like you in that regard: It's all new to me and there are so many things I don't know."
Having listened to all that, Lois nods slowly.
"Looking on the bright side, it does let you find out a lot of new things, doesn't it?" she says with an earnest expression. "And that's probably a good thing, right?"
Eta files this under her things to consider in the near future. She's pleased to find that Lois seems to be a very good listener.
"Sorry if I talked your ears off, I just felt like talking to someone."
"It's interesting to hear you talk about all this stuff, though. Seems fairly interesting."
Something then occurs to Eta.
"Wait, you said it made you feel something? What did it make you feel?"
"What are you talking about?" Lois answers with a question.
"The matches."
"Oh, that. Well, one of the matches had a grayish flame, and it looked unusual to me somehow. So I stared at it for a bit when I realized that everything else had become gray as well. I was at some sort of desk, I think. It was also gray. And there was a pen, a piece of paper and a whole lot of voices coming from every direction, shouting things at me all the time. It seemed like they were shouting important things, so I decided to write some of them down. Lots of unfamiliar words and phrases, but I think I did get some intelligible bits out of it. And then, just as I started to really filter out all the understandable things, I was back here. And I realized that I knew five new things," Lois explains in an even, unruffled way. She raises her right palm to the air, and, much to Eta's surprise, what looks like a stream of interlocking coffee mugs starts to come out of it, winding through the air and making several twists and turns as it encircles the two women a few times before the end of it comes back to her other palm, which she has similarly raised. "This seems to be one of them," she says, her eyes wandering along the length of the chain. "The experience and results are a bit different from what you described. Do you think that's normal?"
* * * * *
John is pleased to have solidly confirmed the existence of a leyline in the direction indicated.
"It healed you, that's great! I wonder what else this thing is capable of..." he says, turning toward the leyline and trying to... touch it, he supposes? Mentally, at least. That sounds appropriate, anyway. And as he faces the sky, he feels it - the sky is open before him, and the eye of magic itself stares into his soul for but a moment before its gaze begins to burn. Like a ray of hard starlight, the magic feels like it's punching a hole through John's body - and for all he knows, that may very well be the case! Indeed, he does feel a slight sense of loss as the magic flows through him, as if some part of him has been blasted away in the sheer radiance of the infinite power before him. All pain stops, and John feels rather content as the wave of power slowly subsides, magic filling cracks in his being that John hardly even suspected he had. He feels about five years younger all of a sudden, yet five years richer in wisdom. He has seen the light.
~Great work, John! I knew you had it in you, despite some initial difficulties. You're gonna go far yet! But for now, bask in the silence of victory, and make sure to put that new magic to appropriate use, okay? And remember - keep the questions minimal!~
John has obtained a new stat point! And the ability to set a particular effect for his spell research! Let the magic grow within you like a benign fungal infection!
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 27, 2014, 02:53:35 pm
Post by: Toaster on April 27, 2014, 08:33:22 pm
"Yeah, sure; and what about one for your friend, too?"
Buy a couple of beers. Be sure to give one directly to this friend of hers. Try to look impressive.
Post by: lawastooshort on April 28, 2014, 04:02:53 am
Go offer Frankie a beer too!
"Hi, Frankie? Your friend Sherry there says I should buy you a drink - you want a beer? Or how about a Toffee Ladybird? I hear they do good ones here. You want to come over and join Sherry and Larry? We don't have to, you know."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 28, 2014, 06:18:36 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 28, 2014, 07:12:41 am
"That's great! You're very good at this." And better than me. And very lucky too. she thought with a hint of jealousy, but quickly suppressed that emotion. "Anyway, I am sorry, but I don't really know if that's normal. Perhaps it's because our minds are different? So we understand and experience things differently? Or maybe the matches are a means of communication and they link each person to different yet similar things? I can only guess. But the man who gave me the matches told me to contact him when I have more knowledge. Perhaps he can tell us more. But I'll need more spells before I can meet him again."
Give Lois some matches.
"Here. I think you'll be needing these. Though I don't have an extra magic matchbox to give you and I don't know where to find one. Sorry."
"So, what else did you get? "
Look at another match! I can't let Lois outspell me!
C'mon funny voice, I need some good spells to impress my friend.
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on April 28, 2014, 07:21:48 am
After doing some entirely pointless research will you please tell me: Is there a non-random happenstance way of getting out of these hell dimensions?
I'm fairly sure* you need to cast a vortex in the vortex, and then leap into it.
*not at all sure, but adding more vortexes never harmed anyone, did it
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 28, 2014, 07:37:32 am
I think that only works if the vortex is of the same kind which (unless you trapped yourself) would be crazy random happenstance.After doing some entirely pointless research will you please tell me: Is there a non-random happenstance way of getting out of these hell dimensions?
I'm fairly sure* you need to cast a vortex in the vortex, and then leap into it.
*not at all sure, but adding more vortexes never harmed anyone, did it
Post by: Toaster on April 28, 2014, 07:44:07 am
Post by: Pancaek on April 28, 2014, 09:07:08 am
"This, is some good shit. How are you feeling, Trey?"
Read magazine once more, don't focus on any particular effect yet.
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on April 28, 2014, 02:16:34 pm
Post by: Pancaek on April 28, 2014, 02:59:42 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 28, 2014, 03:56:24 pm
((As long as it's an effect; elements are not allowed at this point. So you could search for "Blessing of..." or "Vortex of..." or "Bolt of..." but not "potato" or "stripper."))((So spells are in the form of: <optional adjective (alkaline, telescopic, prophetic, musical, etc.)> <element/object (tea, trouser, dinosaur, etc.)> <optional variation (golem, etc.)> <optional effect (Rain, Beam, Vortex, etc.)> ?))
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 29, 2014, 11:47:26 am
[Dave's affinity roll: 1-->1-1]
Outstretching his arms and calling upon powers beyond his current understanding, Dave wishes for vinegar to appear unto him, and to bless him with a vision of a solution for all of his problems, of which there are assuredly many. Closing his eyes to prevent anything at all from distracting him, he invokes the sacred vinegar! And the vinegar responds, screaming across the dimensions and spurting out of the ether through a portal somewhat inconveniently placed inside Dave's skull. This is most unfortunate, since Dave is nothing if not an appreciator of unpolluted cerebrospinal fluid. But moments later, that doesn't seem to be a problem, as said fluid seems to be handily drained by yet another portal, making sure that his brain is cushioned by nothing other than vinegar.
[Dave's body roll: 6-->6-1]
Boy, Dave sure is glad that he doesn't have any sensory nerves in that area. Or that they at least seem to not be functioning presently. The burning visions in his mind of past, present and future, of places familiar and never seen, of creatures the mind can only begin to comprehend and of other things even he can't begin to explain, all of those are quite problematic enough.
[Dave's mind roll: 6-->2+2]
Lucky this happened to him of all people, really. Lesser minds would probably snap without as much as a second passing. Dave, though, seems to be filtering out a lot of the images. At least right now, while he's focused on it. He wonders what would happen if he were otherwise occupied. Probably nothing too good. Definitely nothing too good. But then again, he's pretty sure his projected lifespan has decreased at least twenty times from this bit of magic gone awry, so maybe the visions are the least of his worries. He's pretty sure he needed cerebrospinal fluid for long-term brain function, anyway. He might be undergoing a bit of cerebral degeneration right now. He's not sure.
* * * * *
Halesey leaves Sherry to her own devices - or at least Larry - and goes out looking for Frankie near the bathrooms.
Larry, meanwhile, isn't so sure he wants to pay for the girl's beer (she seems like a risky investment, is all), but then realizes that another lady might be coming along soon, and that he had better be a gentleman if he wants to explore the deeper meanings of baseball metaphors sometime in the near future.
"Yeah, sure; and what about one for your friend, too?" he says, trying to look both rico and suave at the same time even as he orders two more beers.
"Yeah, I guess that sounds good," she says, moving to a stool closer to Larry and grabbing the pint when it arrives. "So, you're Larry, huh? You were Larry, right?" she says, sipping the beer and leaning in toward him a little. "What do you, like, do, Larry?" she asks, still smiling at him.
While they speak, Halesey has found his way to the bathrooms. He notices a girl standing there and approaches her.
"Hi, Frankie? Your friend Sherry there says I should buy you a drink - you want a beer? Or how about a Toffee Ladybird? I hear they do good ones here. You want to come over and join Sherry and Larry? We don't have to, you know."
The girl, medium-height, blonde and somewhat pretty, if dressed fairly modestly, looks at him confusedly.
"I think you've got the wrong person, man," she says after a moment. "I don't know any of those people. Who's Sherry?"
Since she was the only one at the bathrooms, Halesey had approached her with an absolute certainty that this was who he was looking for.
* * * * *
Eta is quite impressed that somebody who has existed for a grand total of less than an hour can manage a feat of magic such as that. She also begins to feel somewhat competitive.
"Wow, that's... that's great! You're very good at this. Anyway, I am sorry, but I don't really know if that's normal. Perhaps it's because our minds are different? So we understand and experience things differently? Or maybe the matches are a means of communication and they link each person to different yet similar things? I can only guess. But the man who gave me the matches told me to contact him when I have more knowledge. Perhaps he can tell us more. But I'll need more spells before I can meet him again," she says, suppressing petty jealousy with a bit of effort. "Here. I think you'll be needing these. Though I don't have an extra magic matchbox to give you and I don't know where to find one. Sorry," she says, handing Lois some of her matches.
"I guess I'll just have to use your matchbox, then," her friend says, examining the match.
"So, what else did you get?"
"What else? 'Perfect knight', 'commune with wig', 'envenom roundworm', 'cheer up paracetamol'. As I've said, I really have no idea what those might be. I suppose I could try them, though."
Eta shrugs and strikes a match, and allows Lois to do the same (it takes her quite a few tries to get it right). Staring into their respective flames, they allow the magic to seep into their brains once more.
[Eta's mind roll: 2+1]
This time when the darkness descends, it's a bit different than before. For one, she feels quite weightless. She is quite weightless, as a matter of fact. Gravity does not seem to be present in the area at all. This... complicates things somewhat. Eta whirls around in the air a few moments, trying to get a feel for the surroundings - she actually requires her umbrella to properly reach anything and give herself a push in the opposite direction. She has to say, the spinning in the air does not help orientation at all - she bounces off several things, slightly panicking each time and giving herself more of a spin and a push each time, and in five minutes she is even more lost than she was in the beginning. Every time she starts to work out where she might need to be or go, a piece of furniture seems to be in the way to disorient her again. This continues for what feels like forever until she accidentally bumps into a flat surface and, by sheer luck, seemingly pushing a large button. And the effect of the button press is immediately obvious - Eta feels an intense taste of metal in her mouth for a moment, and then finds herself back with Lois, encircled by mugs, feeling very disoriented as a new thought swims inside her head.
Spoiler: Eta's New Spell (click to show/hide)
Lois, for her part, looks to have fared much better, judging from the faint look of satisfaction on her face while she examines the burnt remains of her match. As she notices Eta snap out of it, she smiles at her.
* * * * *
John finds this leyline most delectable and enjoyable, and looks to Trey in order to check if he shares his enthusiasm.
"This, is some good shit. How are you feeling, Trey?" he asks, but Trey appears to be looking in the direction of the leyline and shaking. Must be still accessing it. Ah well. Now that he's got the time and the mental capacity, he should probably research spells. Luz seems to have had the same idea a little while ago, too. So he sits down and checks the mag.
[John's mind roll: 1-->2+1]
Moving into his mindscape and getting to work catching some spheres, John has an idea while he examines the tiny little things. They seem pretty shiny, and they smell kind of like a new car. And they have this soft, velvety texture. John pauses for a moment to regard them fondly, when he is struck by an impulse. The spheres look... tasty, he thinks. He kind of got a little hungry thinking about the leyline. He recalls he hasn't really eaten in a while. Surely it couldn't hurt to have one of these, right? It's magic, after all. He's got it inside of him already. What harm could it do?
With this in mind, he pops one of the spheres in his mouth, and finds that it tastes like what would happen if MSG and condensed milk decided to have a lovechild together, then bathe it in honey and dopamine every day of its strange childhood. Despite the slight hydrocarbon aftertaste, John can't resist another sphere, and then another. And then one more for that nice feeling of magical warmth in his stomach. Minutes pass as he floats through the void, having found himself in gastronomically astronomical heaven. The feeling of warmth and comfort increases until John becomes aware of the fact that his skin seems to be melting off. He suspects this is not good.
~Hey, what are you doing here, man, you were supposed to be done by-aw, jeez! Why does this keep happening! Dammit, John, now I have to clean you up,~ his benefactor's voice suddenly arrives in his mind, and John disappears in a flash of light, finding himself back on the roof. He feels like something's amiss in his head all of a sudden.
Spoiler: John's New Spells (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on April 29, 2014, 02:00:42 pm
"Oh, I'm very sorry miss. Perhaps you'd let me buy you a drink anyway? You're incredibly beautiful and I love this yellow kind of glowing aura you have going. My name's Ben, what's yours?"
Halesey sticks his hand out as he introduces himself.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 29, 2014, 02:10:16 pm
"Oh, I'm very sorry miss. Perhaps you'd let me buy you a drink anyway? You're incredibly beautiful and I love this yellow kind of glowing aura you have going. My name's Ben, what's yours?"
"Er, no thank you. I shouldn't really drink in the afternoon. In fact, I think I'll just be going now. Thanks for the... kind offer, I guess?" she says, heading off without another word.
Post by: lawastooshort on April 29, 2014, 02:20:49 pm
Halesey half calls after the girl, momentarily besotten, or besotted, he couldn't remember which, but then suddenly remembered that he probably completely loved the girl he'd met earlier and accidentally invited to a date at the most expensive place in town, or at least, the most expensive place he'd ever bought a girl dinner. Perhaps she would pay her half of the bill - he'd prefer that, felt awkward not. He wondered what to do. He had a few hours to kill, and mostly had to just make sure he turned up in a decent state this evening, which meant he had to get home, get washed and changed, and get some cash. He wondered if he had any left in his account - such trivial things seemed ridiculous now that he had forsaken his destiny to follow the dual path of potatoes and romance, but he acknowledged that money was necessary in this modern world, even for potatoes and romance. The obvious answer was to head to the bar, and introduce himself to the first reasonably pretty girl he saw.
Head back to the bar! Are there any other pretty but modestly dressed girls?
Post by: Toaster on April 29, 2014, 02:34:39 pm
"Why, I'm a mage as well, same as Halesey there. We are, you could say, business partners. What about yourself?"
He tried to discreetly slick back his hair. Maybe he should have washed it more recently.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 29, 2014, 03:19:11 pm
Head back to the bar! Are there any other pretty but modestly dressed girls?
Nope, none whatsoever. Just Sherry, sort of - does wearing a sweater count as modestly-dressed, even with that skirt? You're not quite sure. But other than her, no girls at all around. Only an elderly dude in one corner and a bunch of drunks sort of fighting in another.
"Why, I'm a mage as well, same as Halesey there. We are, you could say, business partners. What about yourself?"
He tried to discreetly slick back his hair. Maybe he should have washed it more recently.
"Oh, me? I'm one of those... what was it?... Branch managers? Yeah, I'm a branch manager over at GIGT... GGI... you get the idea. Insurance stuff. Nothing exciting or anything. I've been celebrating the past... day or so, I think? Probably a day or so, and I'm celebrating my promotion, see?" she says, looking over at the wandering Halesey. "Hey, where's Frankie?"
Post by: lawastooshort on April 29, 2014, 03:22:49 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 29, 2014, 03:31:30 pm
"Who's Frankie?"
"My friend! You see her? She was at the bathrooms!"
Post by: lawastooshort on April 29, 2014, 03:35:29 pm
Post by: Toaster on April 29, 2014, 03:37:31 pm
"So uh, yeah, sounds like you're really sure about that. Doing pretty well for myself, really, already have made friends on other planes and tapped into deep power shit, ya dig?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 29, 2014, 03:38:56 pm
"No, I didn't see her. I saw Penny. I assumed you invented her and just wanted to get rid of me so you could be with Larry here, which is fine with me, he's a good guy, I hold no grudges."
"Wait, Frankie's not there? Where'd she go?" Sherry asks, looking genuinely confused.
Post by: lawastooshort on April 29, 2014, 03:42:54 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 29, 2014, 03:44:44 pm
"What, she's actually real? Oh. Sorry. Um, I don't know - is she a lawyer? Perhaps she got to the bathroom and realised how much she'd been celebrating and had to take a nap? That or she must've fell in some kind of dimensional hole, and if that's the case you need Larry to save you, and her."
"Maybe she... uh... went back to the hotel? Eh, I dunno. Maybe I'll call her in a bit if she doesn't turn up."
Post by: lawastooshort on April 29, 2014, 03:55:24 pm
Get a drink, a beer, and leave Larry and Sherry in peace for a short while.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 29, 2014, 04:07:20 pm
Spoiler: OOC spell comments (click to show/hide)
Eta grabbed her head for a couple of seconds, hoping it would make it stop spinning. "Ow, that was bad. Felt like I was in there for minutes."
"But." she added triumphantly "I got something very dangerous as a reward. 'Highly Explosive Thylacine Pillar'!"
She looked away and thought about what she said for a moment.
"...I don't think I'll be using it any time soon. It might hurt someone. But I think it could impress Mr. Pilton. Unless I could find an empty nearby area...Hmmmm..."
Eta turned to look at Lois again.
"So... you look happy." she added teasingly. "Whad'ya get?"
Do I know of any large empty nearby area? One that perhaps wouldn't be overly hurt by a Highly Explosive Thylacine Pillar appearing in it?
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on April 29, 2014, 04:49:26 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 30, 2014, 08:05:19 am
((Hmm, I'm somewhat confused. Did the whole mind-wipey-thingy wipe my known spells and are these four my new ones, or was it just some fluff? Also, do I get to take only one, or multiple?))
It's a 1, so you have to take them all whether you want them or not.
Larry quickly flashes a 8) at Halesey.
"So uh, yeah, sounds like you're really sure about that. Doing pretty well for myself, really, already have made friends on other planes and tapped into deep power shit, ya dig?"
"Yeah, I guess that's cool. Hang on, I'll call Frankie right quick," Sherry says, quickly dialing up a number. Nobody seems to pick up, and she soon puts her phone away. "Huh. That's weird. Oh well, so, Larry, where're you from?" she asks, taking a careful drink.
"So... you look happy." she added teasingly. "Whad'ya get?"
"I got 'cheer up lawyer'! I wonder if it works."
Do I know of any large empty nearby area? One that perhaps wouldn't be overly hurt by a Highly Explosive Thylacine Pillar appearing in it?
Does the middle of the street count? There seems to be no traffic there, at least.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 30, 2014, 09:33:55 am
"Oh, I don't know, judging by that smile, I think it might have already worked." joked Eta."So... you look happy." she added teasingly. "Whad'ya get?"
"I got 'cheer up lawyer'! I wonder if it works."
"So, what are you waiting for? Only one way to find out what it does. Try it out!"
I was thinking something along the lines of Empty Parking Lot or Construction Site or Park, but if none of those are available (or if Eta doesn't know of any such nearby place), then I can try summoning a Highly Explosive Thylacine Pillar in the middle of the street.Do I know of any large empty nearby area? One that perhaps wouldn't be overly hurt by a Highly Explosive Thylacine Pillar appearing in it?
Does the middle of the street count? There seems to be no traffic there, at least.
Just make sure to tell Lois to stand back, in case things go wrong.
Post by: Toaster on April 30, 2014, 09:43:35 am
He sips on his beer some more.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 30, 2014, 01:46:04 pm
Larry shrugged. "I've always lived in the city. Just waiting for my big break, you know? Looks like I've found it here with this mage business. How about you?"
He sips on his beer some more.
"Oh, I was, like, born here, you know? Never left, actually. Kinda funny, you know. I don't even like it here that much."
Post by: Toaster on April 30, 2014, 02:26:14 pm
Post by: Pancaek on April 30, 2014, 02:54:38 pm
converse with the kids. Also ask the great voice of the magazine if he has any tips on how to use the leyline and how to go on from here
Spoiler: john (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 30, 2014, 03:59:50 pm
Larry nods. "Yeah, what with the dinosaurs and such, it's an odd place! Say, want another beer? Or a cocktail?"
"Nah, nah. I think I've had enough. Should probably, like, head back to the hotel. Wanna come with?" Sherry asks, finishing her current pint and giving you a gentle nudge.
"Well, that was, odd. I feel like I'm missing a few bits of what happened though. How are you guys doing?"
"Fucking magical, that's how I feel," Trey says, sprawled along the roof next to Luz.
"And I've got some awesome new spells lined up," Luz adds.
Also ask the great voice of the magazine if he has any tips on how to use the leyline and how to go on from here
~I could explain, but your brain would explode. Again. Leave that shit alone for now, you hear?~
Post by: Pancaek on April 30, 2014, 04:12:21 pm
Anyway, how do we go from here?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 30, 2014, 04:58:02 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 01, 2014, 07:32:22 am
"I hope you've been having more succes than me with these spells, I got some of...eh...dubious utility.
Anyway, how do we go from here?"
"Well, first order of business would be to get the fuck out of here, I think. Best to do that in some unusual way, since we have style and whatnot. I think I have just the spell for that, too."
((Did I get anything actually useful from the visions.))
They seem a little too random and pertinent to distant apocalyptic events in the future to be particularly helpful to you, or anything other than immensely distracting and slightly physically painful. Hence the need to block them out.
Post by: Pancaek on May 01, 2014, 08:39:52 am
"I hope you've been having more succes than me with these spells, I got some of...eh...dubious utility.
Anyway, how do we go from here?"
"Well, first order of business would be to get the fuck out of here, I think. Best to do that in some unusual way, since we have style and whatnot. I think I have just the spell for that, too."
"allrighty then. Whenever you're ready."
Leave with Trey's new spell
Post by: Toaster on May 01, 2014, 09:25:10 am
Leave with the obviously-not-a-trap woman.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 01, 2014, 12:06:42 pm
"Halesey, catch you later!" he says, heading off with his new acquaintance and leaving Halesey all alone and not in the best of material states. A few minutes pass as he considers what he could possibly do now that he has all this time and a not too considerable amount of money, and he feels rather tipsy. And also he feels a very distinctive rumble in his ears, though he disregards it at first, guessing it's probably just his blood pressure or whatever. But then it suddenly increases its volume, sounding like rolling thunder from deep beneath the earth, and drawing closer. Halesey begins to sweat as the sound draws closer, and his hands begin to tremble - he's not entirely sure why exactly, to be frank. Just a gut feeling of sorts. He looks around nervously, but sees nothing of real note. If the sound is indeed real, these people seem quite insistent on pretending it does not exist.
As seconds pass, the sound gets closer and closer, and Halesey starts to recognize it for what it is - a voice on the air. A voice from very far away, its volume rising and falling in waves. As it draws nearer, Halesey begins to perceive what it might be saying - its message feels familiar, and it is slightly comforting to hear it from an external source, disturbing as that source may seem.
"Embrace the potato!"
The voice resonates within Halesey, its tone oddly compelling, yet also without anything human in its address.
"Open the gates of heaven!" the voice shouts again from afar.
* * * * *
Eta, eager to test out this pillar of explosive thylacines and see if it is the genuine article, turns to look around for any buildings that seem like their inhabitants would not mind a sudden thylacine explosion. She's pretty sure that most of the ones around are rather densely inhabited, but one can't say the same of the street - nobody at this hour seems to be willing to brave the mysterious, enchanted avenues of the neighborhood, and this, Eta thinks, provides her with a sufficiently safe place to try out highly dangerous spells like these. After warning Lois to stand back, she tries to invoke the deadly power of extinct marsupials.
[Eta's affinity roll: 5+1]
The tree line of the nearby Benthurst Avenue begins to rumble as the power courses through Eta, and without warning a column of intertwined, mingling thylacines, unseen on this world since the early 20th century, and never before found in a form such as this, bursts from the cold ground, rising to a height of three stories and then some. The thylacines do not make a lot of noise like you would expect from a literal cylindrical conglomerate of wild animals - instead they seem silent, and regard the world around them with a mixture of wonder and apprehension. Looking closely, Eta thinks she can see bright yellow stickers on the sides of some of them - they seem to have the standard "explosive" warning pictogram on them, every last one.
"That's a very interesting power," Lois notes. "Thylacines. Those are some kind of animal, right?" she asks, but then seems to remember her own magical concerns, and snaps her fingers. A second passes before she begins to grin like an idiot, then starts to laugh, bursting into loud guffaws within a few moments.
"Oh, this feels perfect!" she says breathlessly between laughs, and Eta thinks she can see tears in her eyes.
* * * * *
John, having no better idea than Trey's spell, sits back for the next few moments.
"Alrighty then. Whenever you're ready."
"'Kay, let's go!" Trey says and points dramatically off the side of the roof.
[Trey's affinity roll: 5]
Though nothing is visible from here, something is obviously happening - it only takes going a bit closer for John to notice that some sort of reddish pillar has appeared, reaching up to a height slightly greater than the level of the second floor. It seems rather large, and it would certainly not be very difficult to land on it.
"Yeah, we're making stairs!" Trey shouts, then jumps off the roof and onto the pillar - he seems to land softly, so John follows suit and finally Luz lands next to them as well. Trey then points at a position next to them.
[Trey's affinity roll: 5]
A similar pillar, but lower and wider, appears around them, offering another one and a half floors of descent.
"Right, make sure to relax and try to land ass-first," says Trey, jumping down and landing without issue, followed by his two companions doing the same. The surface of the pillar is quite pliable and welcoming, in fact. And from here the last jump to the ground is simple, and nobody sustains any injury during it whatsoever. They proceed to run until well clear of the school, stopping behind the sizable secondhand clothing warehouse. After taking a moment to catch their breath, several high-fives are performed, mostly by Trey's initiative.
"Pretty nice work, baby," Luz says, giving Trey a kiss sloppy enough to make John slightly uncomfortable.
"Right, so, thanks for the help, man," Trey says after he's done with his little lip lock, looking at John. "Probably best if we split up and make a run for it - me and Luz will go clean out the hideout, then we'll look for a new place. Gimme your number, maybe we can cooperate again, eh?"
"Us leyline people have to stick together, you know?" Luz adds.
* * * * *
It's only a bit of a walk from the bar to Sherry's hotel, the relatively-nice-but-nothing-special W7000 - the architecture and the style of the furnishings seems to be going for a Raygun Gothic theme, and it's painfully terrible-looking in places. But Sherry does assure Larry that the place has great room service, and very clean rooms. Plus the receptionist is dressed like a robot, so that's pretty nice as well. As Sherry takes Larry past the person, Larry catches the whiff of broken dreams and crushed dignity emanating from... it? So he must say it's got the most important bits of being a sci-fi robot down.
"I think I was a bit, uh, high when I picked out this place," Sherry notes as they get out of the silver elevator with a computer-generated voice telling them very clearly that they've reached the third floor. Stepping out into the plain, very clean hallway and walking to the Executive Suite, Sherry searches her pockets for the keys.
"Let's see, now where did I... wait, are these even my clothes?" she asks, looking slightly more drunk than she did at the bar - must be the beer kicking in right properly. "Shit, I don't think I have the, uh... let's just knock, huh?" she then says, having found nothing, and knocks on the door, slightly surprised when they just open. "Ah. Did I even lock it? Guess not."
They both proceed inside, only to stop in the middle of the rather decadent-looking living room when they notice somebody inside. It seems to be a man, completely nude, reading a newspaper. But the strangest part about him seems to be the fact that he is very definitely dark green in color, with bright green, puffy-looking stripes running vertically over his rather round body. As they enter, the man looks at them, eyes almond-shaped and dark as black bears working in a coal mine, and smiles with greenish-white teeth.
"Hey, Sherry. Who's your friend?" he asks.
"That's... uh... who are you?" Sherry replies with a question.
"Call me Tom. Didn't I introduce myself to you already?" the green man shoots back slightly peevishly.
"I... think I'd remember. I think."
"Eh, well, doesn't matter. Just don't be too loud, y'hear? Frankie's sleeping in the other room," Tom says, then goes back to reading the newspaper.
"Just to confirm, uh..." Sherry says, looking at Larry. "You can see him too, right?"
Post by: Pancaek on May 01, 2014, 12:49:00 pm
Exchange numbers with Trey and Luz, say goodbyes and head back home asap. Collapse onto couch and watch the news once I get there
Post by: lawastooshort on May 01, 2014, 12:55:50 pm
Halesey whispers this, keen not to be seen talking to himself in public, at first.
"You know, I wanted to embrace the potato, even before I knew it led to heaven... I want to, but I have a date this evening with a really nice girl, the kind you'd be pleased to take home to meet your mother, and chances like the love of your life don't come along often, you know? What I guess I'm trying to say, God, is that if I open the gate to heaven, will I be able to get back in time for dinner?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 01, 2014, 01:13:15 pm
"Er, is that you, God?"
Halesey whispers this, keen not to be seen talking to himself in public, at first.
"You know, I wanted to embrace the potato, even before I knew it led to heaven... I want to, but I have a date this evening with a really nice girl, the kind you'd be pleased to take home to meet your mother, and chances like the love of your life don't come along often, you know? What I guess I'm trying to say, God, is that if I open the gate to heaven, will I be able to get back in time for dinner?"
"Yes! It is likely!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 01, 2014, 02:08:59 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on May 01, 2014, 03:37:48 pm
Order another beer, neck it, and order some peanuts or something for strength, and eat them.
"Here goes..."
Head to the bathroom and find an empty cubicle. Enter and close the door. Stand on the toilet and cast Potato Vortex at the ground.
Post by: Toaster on May 01, 2014, 03:56:00 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 01, 2014, 05:18:28 pm
Larry stares at the man with a frown on his face. Not what he had in mind. "Yeah, I see him. But who is he?"
Sherry merely shrugs, looking perplexed.
"I'm Tom, actually. I believe I said as much, yes? And I'll refrain from saying more. It'll just raise further questions. Can't you people just move on? There is another bedroom, you know."
Sherry looks back at you doubtfully.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 01, 2014, 05:27:06 pm
"Look at this thing! It's huge! And made of animals! Extinct animals! And I caused this to happen! Isn't that awesome?"
Is there anything to indicate the pillar is explosive other than the stickers?
Do they move or do they retain their pillary form?
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 01, 2014, 05:35:41 pm
"Hahaha!" Eta joined her friend in laughing, both because she was feeling happy for her happiness and because she just did something awesome.
"Look at this thing! It's huge! And made of animals! Extinct animals! And I caused this to happen! Isn't that awesome?"
"It is! It's the greatest thing I've ever seen!"
Is there anything to indicate the pillar is explosive other than the stickers?
Do they move or do they retain their pillary form?
Nothing other than the stickers, though you guess you probably shouldn't try to test their explosiveness with an open flame anyway. Furthermore, they seem to be keeping the shape up without much effort, and being awfully stoic about it, no less.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 01, 2014, 07:44:44 pm
"Oh!" Eta took a deep breath and tried to stifle another fit of laughter.
This must be how people start going crazy with power. Laughing maniacally in the middle of the street.
"Now come on, let's get out of here before someone shows up and starts asking questions, OK?"
I guess I better do something about that pillar too. Someone might get hurt.
Find a nearby payphone. Call 000/112/911/whatever emergency number there is around here that could probably handle a pillar of explosive animals.
Eta put her coat in front of the microphone and altered her voice to make it sound more deep and male.
"Yes, hello? This is The Anti Conservation Coalition International for the Destruction of Extinct and Nonexistent Taxa. We have placed explosives inside a number of extinct marsupials, covered them with gunpowder and left them near this location. Don't worry, you can't miss them. Evacuate the area now and take care of this affront to reality or any damage will be on your hands.
We demand that the government takes action to remove all extinct species from this world and return it to its normalcy. We will not tolerate the existence of Dinosaurs, Mammoths, Thylacines, Dodos, Mascarene Coots or any other extinct animals. We demand that the government ensures that every citizen can live a normal life without having to worry about the distortion of reality.
This was a warning. If our demands are not met, next time, we will detonate them. That is all."
Perhaps a bit too over the top. Hopefully that should scare them into action.
Then get away from here.
Post by: Toaster on May 02, 2014, 07:57:44 am
Post by: Nunzillor on May 02, 2014, 08:59:14 pm
Edit: What about a rock? I don't mean to make unsolicited suggestions, but a measly little rock couldn't hurt, right? Just an observation really, not a suggestion by any means. A tiny pebble? Of course it wouldn't. And if it did... well, whose fault would that really be? So unreasonable to think that a little pebble would hurt.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 03, 2014, 03:17:22 am
"- so the siege continues. My sources tell me that several large, hairy varmints were spotted leaving the ruins - could these be our terrorists? Could the events of the past few days be only part of a larger plot by the dark, hairy underbelly of the city to destabilize the virtues of our great country? If so, the worst is only yet to come, my friends, the worst is yet to come. If you think about it, it makes sense - a bomb threat, a seemingly unrelated school bombing, a low-angle reverse meteorite in the business district, all on the same evening. If we could say that the dinosaurs and the shampoo were acts of God and not get much opposition, this reeks of malicious intent! Always keep an eye and an ear out - whatever's out there, it's saying that it's on now. Keep your cameras ready, people, and make sure to document anything unusual - only way we're getting through this is if we knuckle down, find out who's doing this, and stop 'em," Mortadello says, looking quite serious. A phone number appears on the screen in white, bold letters. "If you see anything at all, my friends, do not hesitate to call our emergency hotline, and we'll do our best to get to the bottom of what's happening - that's a Mortadello guarantee, you hear?"
* * * * *
As Dave drifts through the barren reaches of the salty denture dimension, he decides to light a match.
[Dave's mind roll: 5+2]
Despite the slight disturbances that the dentures create, Dave manages to light the match and stare into it for long enough to be carried off to a better place, which in this case seems to be the city, except A) slightly futuristic and B) blasted to hell and back. As lightning crashes all around him, Dave has one immediate concern - not getting hit by lightning. To this end, he pops into a nearby ruined car, glad at his immense cleverness as lightning repeatedly strikes the car, yet leaves him unharmed. A few moments pass before Dave becomes aware that somebody else has evidently had the same idea, namely the terrible, many-limbed creature in the back of the car. Dave is about to bid it hello, but it seems to have taken offense at his invasion of its personal property, and punches him in the face so hard that he blacks out, heavenly stars of magical power swimming around his head as he awakens in the salty denture dimension.
Spoiler: Dave's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Halesey decides to give God absolutely no backtalk and orders a beer and some peanuts, finishing both in record time and, now rich in protein and sufficiently relaxed for long-distance travel, walks into the men's bathroom, hiding himself in an empty cubicle and standing on a toilet in preparation for the serious shit that is about to go down. Pointing his hand at the floor, he calls upon the power of the potato once more!
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5+1]
Through Halesey's relaxed, pliable form the power flows as power tends to do, which is to say very powerfully, and a vortex begins to form on the floor of the cubicle, the thundering intensifying as it expands beyond the confines of the small enclosure and spreads to the floor of the rest of the bathroom as well, the potatoes shuffling restlessly as the suction of the vortex pulls the cubicle door open. Something seems different about the vortex this time, Halesey realizes. This time it's not quite a homogenous mixture of potatoes - Halesey is fairly sure he can see something else in there as well. A tunnel of sorts. It's difficult to say more, since his viewing angle is hardly optimal, but still, a tunnel is definitely there.
"Descend, Halesey! Journey to the center of my domain!" the voice, coming across much clearer than before, tells him. "Dive into the gate!"
* * * * *
Eta, catching herself going slightly mad with power while regarding the thylacine pillar, decides that maybe it's best not to stick around for too long, turning to Lois.
"Now come on, let's get out of here before someone shows up and starts asking questions, OK?"
"Righto," says Lois, still unable to stop laughing as Eta walks over to a nearby payphone with her. As Eta dials 911, Lois clamps her hands over her mouth and steps away for a few moments, although the sight of Eta trying to sound like a terrorist seems to be testing the very limits of her self-control.
"Yes, hello? This is The Anti Conservation Coalition International for the Destruction of Extinct and Nonexistent Taxa," Eta tells the person who picks up on the other end, putting on a not overly convincing impression of a baritone bandit. "We have placed explosives inside a number of extinct marsupials, covered them with gunpowder and left them near this location. Don't worry, you can't miss them. Evacuate the area now and take care of this affront to reality or any damage will be on your hands. We demand that the government takes action to remove all extinct species from this world and return it to its normalcy. We will not tolerate the existence of Dinosaurs, Mammoths, Thylacines, Dodos, Mascarene Coots or any other extinct animals. We demand that the government ensures that every citizen can live a normal life without having to worry about the distortion of reality. This was a warning. If our demands are not met, next time, we will detonate them. That is all," she continues, and can hear the dispatcher emit a sound somewhere between a "What?" and a gasp before she hangs up and runs off with Lois, getting well clear of the general neighborhood of the pillar.
"Hopefully they've got experience at this sort of thing, huh?" Lois says when they finally stop, then bursts into laughter once again.
* * * * *
Larry, though sorely tempted to do otherwise, decides not to comment on this situation.
"You know what? After the day I've had, this isn't even top five strangest things today. Screw it, let's just go, okay?"
"Good man," Tom says, returning to his newspaper. Sherry glances at him again uncertainly, then looks back at Larry.
"Well... okay, let's go," she finally says, walking over to a nearby door and, finding it to be the bathroom, briefly glances about for other doors, then goes in anyway, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub (which looks like an upended egg chair in many ways) for a moment before deciding that she'd rather lie inside it instead, curling up into a fetal position and sighing softly.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 03, 2014, 04:26:15 am
Dive headfirst into the vortex!
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 03, 2014, 07:18:35 am
How can you resist tossing a match in that thing? That's impressive-- I don't think I'd be able to just walk away. I mean, damn. It's right there! Good for you, I guess is what I'm trying to say. Impressive restraint, yes. Commendable, even.
Edit: What about a rock? I don't mean to make unsolicited suggestions, but a measly little rock couldn't hurt, right? Just an observation really, not a suggestion by any means. A tiny pebble? Of course it wouldn't. And if it did... well, whose fault would that really be? So unreasonable to think that a little pebble would hurt.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
"Hopefully they've got experience at this sort of thing, huh?" Lois says when they finally stop, then bursts into laughter once again."Yes." said Eta in between bursts of giggling. "I can just picture that so clearly now."
She tried to calm herself, look serious and make her best imitation of a stereotypical general's voice.
"Men, today you will be trained in the handling of Thylacines. And I tell you, it's a damn difficult job. It will seriously test your mettle."
"For you never know how many explosives those damn marsupials have hidden in their pouches." she added, shaking her fist, before breaking into laughter once more.
"Oh, that was fun. Haven't had that much fun in ages. This is turning out to be a better night than I ever expected."
Which reminds me, I still got some holes in my house. I guess I should better head back, try to patch the damage up somehow. Need to catch some Zs anyway. And I guess I could experiment with some canned goods before sleeping. Wonder if Lois wants to come with? She doesn't have a home, does she?
"Say, Lois, I'm getting kinda tired. You're in the mood for anything else or do you want to come sleep at my place?"
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 03, 2014, 07:30:08 am
"Say, Lois, I'm getting kinda tired. You're in the mood for anything else or do you want to come sleep at my place?"
"Well, can't really think of anything better to do. Lead the way!"
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 03, 2014, 08:57:17 am
Go home.
If all's well when I get there, inspect damage to home while showing Lois around. Could I temporarily close the holes with a few pieces from cardboard boxes and tape?
Also see if I've got any food, especially canned goods. Offer some to Lois.
"Well, here we are. Sorry about its less than stellar state. A wizard threw a meteor through it earlier today."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 03, 2014, 09:52:41 am
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Nunzillor on May 03, 2014, 11:08:24 am
Post by: Pancaek on May 03, 2014, 05:41:28 pm
Call mister Lee and tell him that the kids are safe. Then watch some more news
Post by: Toaster on May 03, 2014, 08:44:07 pm
Even through the steady waves of testosterone, Larry realizes something is amiss here. "You... uh... okay there? It's like you have no idea what's going on here."
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 04, 2014, 02:39:43 am
Even through the steady waves of testosterone, Larry realizes something is amiss here. "You... uh... okay there? It's like you have no idea what's going on here."
"... need to get some sleep," Sherry mumbles at you.
Post by: Toaster on May 04, 2014, 08:42:58 pm
He shook his head and headed out. "She's passing out in the tub. Might want to check on her," he said to Tom as he walked out the door.
Wonder where Halesey is? Screw it, it's getting late.
Leave, head home, get some sleep.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 06, 2014, 01:16:50 pm
After about five minutes of falling, Halesey finally reaches something that looks like a potential destiny - the endless potatoes all around him suddenly end, with a boundary as clearly defined as anything Halesey has ever perceived, and after that a void more massive than Halesey has ever dared envision stretches outward - a spherical cavity in the mass of potatoes obeying no known laws of conventional physics. And in the middle of it all is a vast tuber the size of a small planet that provides Halesey with the knowledge that a small planet, despite the name, still happens to be immensely huge. In addition, he can see a whole lot of other, smaller, yet nevertheless enormous potatoes the size of moons growing out of the main tuber, with yet smaller potatoes comparable to large asteroids growing out of the moontatoes in turn. The fact that he seems to be falling toward the immense planetato is disturbing at first, but, in an entirely counterintuitive twist, Halesey begins to slow down as the planetato grows larger before him, coming to a stop after a not too long period of time. Halesey hangs in the void for a minute, unsure of what happens next.
"Welcome, pilgrim!" the voice of God, unmistakably coming from the planetato, kicks in again, thundering in his ears at exactly the right frequency to shatter glass, then quieting down to a piercing whisper. "You have willingly come into the sight of the Lord of Potatoes, and for choosing the right path of your own volition you are to be commended."
A pale yellow light only a tuber could conceivably emit bathes Halesey in its radiance, and Halesey feels sobriety set in as the taste of fresh potato builds up in his throat and the smell of earth fills his nostrils.
"Though your mastery of the potato is not yet complete or even properly begun, you show promise. It is because of this that I have called out to you, pilgrim. And though you have chosen to answer that call, a greater question still lies before you: are you willing to step on the true path of the potato?"
* * * * *
Eta, accompanied by Lois, who still giggles on occasion, wander back to the pierced apartment block that Eta lives in - though firemen seem to have arrived, they appear to have concluded their business and are in the process of leaving on their bright red truck as the two women approach. Lois waves at the truck as it leaves and smiles, but they don't pay any attention to them, serious men and women of action that they are.
After finding her way up the stairs and into her apartment, Eta regards the damage once more, cringing a bit at the sight of it all as Lois enters right after her. This place is such a mess.
"Well, here we are. Sorry about its less than stellar state. A wizard threw a meteor through it earlier today."
"I hope that's not a regular occurrence," Lois says as she sits down on the couch, regarding the nearby dust-filled cup of tea with a wary eye before Eta moves over to her and begins to show her around the ruined bathroom, the ruined living room, the mostly orderly and untouched bedroom and the kitchen, which is somewhat dusty on account of having a window to the living room. Much cleaning will be necessary, of that she is sure.
On the bright side, Eta's decision some time ago to start stockpiling cardboard boxes for unforeseen needs is finally paying off - with her similarly plentiful supply of duct tape, she can probably patch up all three of the holes, though serious construction will need to be soon, since she's fairly certain that either the heating bill will come out astronomical in the next couple of weeks or she will run a considerable risk of freezing if she wants to sleep here.
But that's something to think about slightly later. Right now, food is of prime importance! And since Eta has had the foresight to end the guided tour of her apartment in the kitchen, she, after patting herself on the back for good planning, immediately takes a look inside the fridge. Unfortunately for her current cravings, though, the refrigerator contains only enviably fresh food right now, all of which she had planned to prepare dinner from when the mood finally struck her tonight. That is, before such plans were thrown off track by overturned meteorites blasting a good part of her apartment into an unserviceable form.
"I'm not sure I'm hungry," Lois says as Eta looks at her with a questioningly raised eyebrow and points at the food within the fridge. "I'm still digesting those cupcakes, to be honest."
* * * * *
Dave, upon rounding out his spell list, decides to perfect his cerebrospinal vinegar!
[Dave's affinity roll: 5-1]
A moment passes, but Dave doesn't actually feel much, so that's pretty much unchanged. He bets that the vinegar inside him is super aromatic, though! He also doesn't seem to be having intrusive visions anymore, which is a definite plus. And though having vinegar inside his internal organs is still a very bad thing as far as he knows, at least now he can safely assure himself with the fact that at least it's the best imaginable vinegar in the world slowly killing him from the inside. Though whether that is still the case is also similarly up for debate, of course.
* * * * *
John, amused by the way the puny mundane mortals are scurrying about in confusion, decides to call up Mr. Lee now and get the important bits of business over with. He has to wait a while before the geezer picks up, but it's not long enough to be a real inconvenience, and he certainly has nothing better to do.
"Yes, hello?" Mr. Lee asks on the other end.
"John here, the kids are safe."
"All four of 'em?"
"Yeah, all four of them."
"Even the two what ran off and such?"
"Them too, yeah."
"Where are they now? Didn't get a call from their parents, y'know? Are they on the way?"
That's probably a good question, John guesses, and one with an interesting answer in all likelihood. The question is, will Mr. Lee be happy to hear John's hypotheses on the matter?
* * * * *
Larry, highly disappointed in how certain people can't handle their liquor to the exactly insufficient degree necessary to find him desirable, decides to leave like the gentleman he is.
"Uh... right. Have a nice nap, then," he says, walking out of the bathroom and approaching Tom. "She's passing out in the tub. Might want to check on her," he tells the naked green man, who nods in a moderately miffed manner.
"That's good to know, I suppose. Mind helping me out with carrying her to bed, maybe? I'm not entirely familiar with conventional human anatomy, and I fear I might break something if I need to carry her on my own," he says to Larry, getting up from the couch with a bounce. Larry wonders if helping this schmuck is worth it - on one hand, he seems weird and has pretty much admitted he's not human, but on the other, Larry is fairly sure that four o' clock in the afternoon is in that nebulous zone that's a tad too late for an afternoon nap but far too early for regular bedtime (which is bad news for Larry - after all, he has been up for at least six to eight hours straight, which lesser men have been known to die from in this day and age).
Post by: Toaster on May 06, 2014, 01:33:13 pm
"Fine, whatever."
Help, I guess.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 06, 2014, 01:42:00 pm
The phrase "What's in it for me?" is halfway to Larry's lips before he swallowed it back down and decided to just do the damn thing. Maybe she'd call him.
"Fine, whatever."
Help, I guess.
You walk over to the bathroom with Tom, and find that he is much stronger than he appears - you have more of a consulting role, really, and make sure he doesn't, say, try to lift her up from the tub by her head, which he seems dangerously close to doing at the first try. Finally you two work out a method and carry her over to her room like one would carry a drunken sailor, depositing her on the rather plain, but evidently comfortable bed and rolling her on her side. When that's done, Tom nods happily and turns to you.
"Thanks for helping me out with her. I really am kind of glad you brought her back. I was starting to get a bit worried. Maybe I can interest you in some pancakes in return? I was about to make some, anyway," he asks.
Post by: Pancaek on May 06, 2014, 02:02:42 pm
Post by: Toaster on May 06, 2014, 02:50:24 pm
Decline the offer and exit. No thanks!
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 06, 2014, 03:01:57 pm
"Oh yeah, yeah. They said they were going to get their stuff from the appartement I found them in and then head to their home. They're nice kids, ya know? They just wanted to go to their old school to get some stuff or something like that."
"Ah, good. Well, unless there's something else, see you and your friends in the morning, then."
While he's okay with physical effort to put a passed-out woman in bed, having pancakes with a nude green man is outside his comfort threshold. "Err, no I really should be going. Thanks though."
Decline the offer and exit. No thanks!
"Aw, really? Well, okay, I guess. If you can say 'no' to pancakes, you're a better man than I am," Tom says.
Also, going somewhere in particular?
Post by: Pancaek on May 06, 2014, 03:14:16 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 06, 2014, 03:16:28 pm
"I don't know, man. They seemed pretty tired of this magic stuff. I don't think they'll be coming anywhere near one of us any time soon. They might be traumatized, you know. That one kid even turned into custard for a bit."
"Look, kid, I'm kinda tired and Mrs. Lee hates it when I stay up this late. So how about we both go to sleep now and you tell me all about this later?"
Post by: Toaster on May 06, 2014, 03:32:29 pm
Also, going somewhere in particular?
What time is it?
Post by: Pancaek on May 06, 2014, 04:41:58 pm
Let mister Lee go to bed. Take a walk around the neighbourhood and get some chow, all those clickety-clakety-vortexes have made me hungry
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 06, 2014, 05:31:50 pm
Do I have enough money to go stay at a hotel for the night?
Is the toilet usable? If not, it might be a good idea to find some place to spend the night.
Better to have at least some sanitation. Wouldn't want to have to run to a convenience store or something to use their toilet.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 06, 2014, 11:45:49 pm
What time is it?
4 o' clock in the afternoon, same as before.
Do I have enough money to go stay at a hotel for the night?
Is the toilet usable?
Yes to the first question, probably a no to the second. Well, there still technically is a hole in the ground with remains of a jagged metal pipe around it where the toilet used to be, but that's a slightly medieval definition of usability, is it not?
Post by: lawastooshort on May 07, 2014, 05:39:51 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 07, 2014, 07:39:43 am
”Yes, O God, I am most definitely willing! I shall do what is necessary to master the True Path! I shall devote myself wholly and humbly to the Potato!”
"Splendid. Do you forswear any allegiance to the ones you have been blessed by in favor of me? If so, state your most pressing need and it shall be granted, along with a quest and a blessing."
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 07, 2014, 07:40:06 am
Indeed it is. We are not savages. We are powerful wizards and require to be treated as Such.Do I have enough money to go stay at a hotel for the night?
Is the toilet usable?
Yes to the first question, probably a no to the second. Well, there still technically is a hole in the ground with remains of a jagged metal pipe around it where the toilet used to be, but that's a slightly medieval definition of usability, is it not?
EDIT: Oh, and the tea, empty that and leave the cup on the sink to wash later. And turn off the heating if this apartment has individual heating.
Pack some clothes and other necessities for me and Lois (maybe some food too, if I can carry it/fit it in the bag) and make our way to a hotel.
"Come on, choose some clothes and let's get out of here. This place is in a state far worse than I had realised.
We can stay at a hotel for tonight and see about fixing this place tomorrow."
Hopefully the cardboard will be enough to keep any animals or light rain from getting in, at least.
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on May 07, 2014, 07:56:21 am
Go home. Prepare self to study the book.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 07, 2014, 08:47:16 am
"Splendid. Do you forswear any allegiance to the ones you have been blessed by in favor of me? If so, state your most pressing need and it shall be granted, along with a quest and a blessing."
Oh god, do I go for magical power, or shall I go for the money we need, or shall I go for success with the hot pink writing girl?
I JUST DON’T KNOW
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 07, 2014, 09:41:34 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 07, 2014, 10:03:13 am
I cast Engulf in Enchanted Angel Ghosts.
On what?
Post by: lawastooshort on May 07, 2014, 10:10:16 am
"Splendid. Do you forswear any allegiance to the ones you have been blessed by in favor of me? If so, state your most pressing need and it shall be granted, along with a quest and a blessing."
For a few brief milliseconds, Halesey wonders if his is actually God speaking to him, or merely the Potato God. But then something in his mind tells him that such wondering is very probably heretical, not to mention punishable, and that in any case the Ultimate Power of the Potato unavoidably infers that the Potato God is the One True God in any case. This reassures him, to the extent that he could feel unassured whilst being bathed in the pure power of the tuber.
”O God, yes. Yes I do. I forswear any allegiance to anyone in favour of your tuberous blessing. I will humbly accept your quest. My most pressing need…”
His heart yearned for the love of the woman he’d met earlier, who spoke in a fetching shade of pink that his loins and heart together could not ignore – yet deep within himself Halesey knew that a love not earned was a love not worth holding; blind devotion being for minions, not for a shared life.
His mind was itching for the hundred thousand Eurodollars that he and Larry needed to appease their overweight mentor, which would also help to pull Larry towards the force of the One True Path of the Tuber, but at the back of his mind he had begun to believe that perhaps he wouldn’t need this mentor if he had found the True Path; and if the fat man turned out to oppose the Path, it would be imbecilic to allow him to strengthen himself with the feng shui of the undeniable ley line.
It was lucky then, that Halesey’s heart and mind pulled together as one, denying their yearnings, and pulled together towards his soul, which had but one desire.
”My most pressing need is surely, O Potato Deity, greater control over the Force of the Tuber! And by that I mean surer control, or even just a wider variety of control! I mean to cast the unbeliever into a spiral of potatoes, and to blast them with the Potato of Doom! Truly, I despair when I attempt to wield the Power, and naught but a baby dribble spurts forth: it lets those who do not follow the True Path rejoice. And I have but vortexes of potatoes to wield – and although terrifying and destructive, surely it is not fitting for all who suffer them to be cast unto this potato wonderland?”
Halesey felt that perhaps he was beginning to waffle.
”So, O God of the Tuber, please grant unto me a further tuberous power, and greater control over yon power!”
He thought for a second.
”If I may be so bold.”
Post by: Nunzillor on May 07, 2014, 11:14:52 am
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 07, 2014, 12:01:29 pm
Myself.I cast Engulf in Enchanted Angel Ghosts.
On what?
Post by: Toaster on May 07, 2014, 12:51:45 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 09, 2014, 09:53:10 am
Chow, predictably, stands in the very middle of Chow's Chow, looking exhausted and on the verge of nodding off as always. As soon as he notices John, which happens to be right about the moment John begins to consider slapping him across the face to ensure that the man is actually awake, he seems to freshen up immediately, that classic Chow passion that drove an unassuming man from the old projects to open up a business in the nineties that now spans a grand three outlets in low-income areas illuminating his face with an eerie emotional light.
"Welcome to Chow's Chow! What can I interest you in, sir?" Chow asks, the sleep seeping out of his voice progressively. "Let me guess. Chow?"
John nods.
"Then some of Chow's chow you shall have," Chow says, and snaps his fingers. Almost instantly, a waiter, looking just a little less exhausted than Chow himself, appears at his side, a large, steaming bowl of very oily noodles mixed with delicious-looking minced mystery meat in his hand. "This delicious chow, made lovingly by the hands of no less than three different master chefs, can be yours for the price of two dollars."
John guesses that's a reasonable price for a bowl of oily noodles that size, and pays up, and the waiter then pushes the bowl of chow into John's hands, dispensing with the verbal formalities at such a speed that John can't even begin to make out what he might have said, then running off, presumably to attend to his meth lab in the back room. Having gotten what he wanted, John sits at a nearby grubby table and chows down on Chow's chow, finding it to be slightly oilier than it appears. Still, it's technically food, and John feels a bit more fed and only a little bit disgusted with himself when he's done with it.
* * * * *
Eta, deeming the apartment unfit for habitation, chooses to abandon ship rather than face the humiliation of no indoor plumbing. The process of packing up is quite swift - taking a few changes of clothes for herself (Lois, for her part, seems to have a slightly different build and frame than Eta, and she's a little shorter as well, not to mention somewhat leery of wearing someone else's clothes when her own were pretty much created a few hours ago), a few oranges to stave off scurvy on the long exodus and a few other things, she prepares a survival duffel bag, and sets out to find a hotel after making sure all the holes in her apartment are taped shut and that any water coming out of her busted plumbing is safely diverted to the apartment below hers, where nobody important is known to live.
Fortunately, there is a very suitable-looking hotel located not very far off - a place called Allie's that's located inside a very solid, very well-kept house from the mid-20th century - a postmodern affair architecturally, with the facade very obviously made shiny, gaudy and evocative of an 18th century house to the smallest of details while, as Eta and Lois find out when they step in, housing a reasonably modern building behind it. The reception desk features a very thin man in his fifties with extremely bushy eyebrows and with a slightly Middle Eastern look to him, reading what appears to be an old sports magazine - he immediately notices the ladies approach and looks up at them, leaning on the desk in a bit of forced nonchalance.
"Hey! Hello! Can I... help you somehow?" he says somewhat weakly.
* * * * *
Larry, having successfully resisted the allure of Tom's delicious pancakes, slinks back home through the city streets, finding his apartment and sliding in through the door, making sure to lock it very safely behind him. Tiptoeing through the corridor and into his bedroom, he sits down on his bed and casts a look around. Nobody appears to be watching, so he closes his eyes and, as he sometimes does on lonely nights, thinks about how totally cool magic is.
In fact, the longer he thinks about it, the cooler it seems to get. Yes, quite. And he does believe that if he does magic enough, he may eventually obtain a kickass beard as well. Magic, already powerfully tempting, begins to seem quite irresistible now.
* * * * *
Dave, preferring the embrace of ghostly angels to that of salty dentures, tries to engulf himself in them!
[Dave's affinity roll: 4-1]
On his palm a cold, yet holy light begins to brightly burn, and a set of three different faces soon appears on it, disturbing Dave quite immensely with its obvious inhuman qualities. Curious, the faces lean forward, and it becomes apparent that they all belong to the same creature - a spectral cube of some kind, with hundreds of fingers protruding out of the edges, reaching out to Dave. Dave starts to squirm, and continues to do so for a few moments before it becomes apparent that the ghost appears to be giving him a hug, though the icy chill of death from the ghost's touch is far from encouraging to Dave.
[Dave's body roll: 1-->4-1]
In fact, he begins to feel incredibly cold all of a sudden. Cold, tired and... well, 'ready' would be a good word for it, he supposes. Ready to skip town for good, to go seek greener pastures in the world beyond this one. It's a deeply disturbing feeling, actually.
* * * * *
As Halesey floats in the void, he needs not think twice about this offer - what heretic could possibly refuse it? The very thought is appalling.
"O God, yes. Yes I do. I forswear any allegiance to anyone in favour of your tuberous blessing. I will humbly accept your quest. My most pressing need…" he says, and then thinks about what one should wish for when facing the One True God - love? That wouldn't work, or be particularly desirable without effort. Money? Liable to be misspent, and it invites manipulation. That leaves only one thing, the desire of the soul itself.
"My most pressing need is surely, O Potato Deity, greater control over the Force of the Tuber! And by that I mean surer control, or even just a wider variety of control! I mean to cast the unbeliever into a spiral of potatoes, and to blast them with the Potato of Doom! Truly, I despair when I attempt to wield the Power, and naught but a baby dribble spurts forth: it lets those who do not follow the True Path rejoice. And I have but vortexes of potatoes to wield – and although terrifying and destructive, surely it is not fitting for all who suffer them to be cast unto this potato wonderland?" he speaks to the divine entity. "So, O God of the Tuber, please grant unto me a further tuberous power, and greater control over yon power!" he continues, then pauses. "If I may be so bold."
A moment passes in silence before the planetato, the One True God, radiant in its earthiness, begins to reply, its voice extremely pleased from the sound of it.
"You have chosen well, pilgrim! You have understood a thing that the other one did not - the primacy of the potato over all! Tread this path, and all shall fall into place."
Staring at the visage of God, Halesey feels it reach out to him in an unseen manner - the root of creation, screaming through the void and plunging into his being, causing waves of mixed pain and bliss to course through Halesey's confused mind. After stirring up the depths of Halesey's soul, the root withdraws, leaving a small, almost imperceptible divine presence within the new disciple of the holy potato. Every few moments, it seems to stir, and Halesey's body twitches along with it, feeling closer to the way of the tuber than ever before.
Halesey has gained a new stat point, and the ability to choose potatoes as an element (nothing else, however)! In addition, his increasingly potato-saturated soul grants him a +1 on potato-related affinity rolls! He is also no longer affected by the potato vortex unless he permits it!
Halesey gets but a few seconds of respite before God speaks to him once more.
"You are now an acolyte of the potato - with service, the power within you will grow. And speaking of service, there is the matter of your first true quest! You must obtain the blessing of a demon, to complement the one you already have. Do so, and you will have taken a significant step toward becoming a full priest of the tuber! Do you have any further questions?"
Post by: Toaster on May 09, 2014, 10:00:59 am
Get me some sweet, sweet magic.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on May 09, 2014, 03:47:09 pm
edit - if it is correct, I shall Open my mind, whilst in Potato Heaven, to the Book, whilst invoking the Spirit of Potato!
((Try to soak up spells involving potato))
And then accept the quest, and attempt to leave Potato Heaven.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 09, 2014, 04:06:52 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on May 09, 2014, 06:27:03 pm
Edit: in reference to the froggy ninja, that is.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 09, 2014, 10:11:16 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on May 09, 2014, 11:49:57 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 09, 2014, 11:50:14 pm
((So, I can try to create spells involving either Potatoes or Vortexes, is that correct?))
Yes. As well as any other effect you know of. Not both at the same time, though.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 10, 2014, 01:17:32 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 10, 2014, 04:19:59 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 10, 2014, 07:48:13 am
"Indeed you can, good sir. Would you be so kind as to inform us about whether or not you happen to have any vacancies? Me and my friend here are looking for a place to spend this night, maybe a few nights more after that."
"Uh... lemme check right quick," the guy says and steps over to a door behind him, opening it. The sounds of merriment emanate from within the room beyond - it sounds like whoever is over there, they seem to be very good friends with one another. "Hey, we got any vacancies?"
"What?" comes a poorly audible, thickly-accented voice from the room.
"Vacancies! For, like, guests and shit, you know?" the man repeats himself. "There's two ladies here who wanna stay the night! And a couple more, maybe."
"Huh? No shit?" the voice asks again.
"Well, let 'em stay, you fucking balloonhead! What's your problem?" another, much harsher and more high-pitched voice cuts in.
"Do we have any free rooms?" the man asks, half to himself.
"Check the fucking keys, you dumb shit!" the voice says again, and the guy nods, closing the door and taking a long look at the nearby key stand. There do seem to be a few of keys in it, and the fellow takes a key for Room 102, offering it to you.
"So yeah, Room 102. You can stay in there. That one's got a lot of amenities," he says, nodding enthusiastically.
((okay - so I'd like to meditate on the themes of Bolts and Potatoes, please.))
Well, you can't do that on the same turn. It's either one or the other.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 10, 2014, 08:17:30 am
Post by: Pancaek on May 10, 2014, 08:55:34 am
"You know what, I think I'll have seconds."
Have seconds. The pay my bill and go home to sleep
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 10, 2014, 09:59:13 am
That's strange. He's just handing us the key? Aren't we supposed to sign in and pay first? Well, no matter, right now, I just need to relax, stare into some matches and then get some sleep.
"Thank you very much." said Eta, accepting the key. "Now if there's nothing else, me and my friend are getting tired and would like to retire to our room. I assume it's upstairs?"
If there isn't something else (or if that something else can be easily taken care of), go upstairs with Lois, unpack and check the room.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 10, 2014, 02:46:31 pm
[Larry's mind roll: 5+1+1]
And the magic sticks easily to his prepared mind - he is like one of those wacky sea sponges, with all the rank seawater of glory and power getting sucked into him, then emptied of its vital magical nutrients and dispersed through his not very well-developed magical body apparatus. It's actually pretty great, and Larry can't help but wonder if a sedentary, filtration-based lifestyle might not be the true way to go, really. If he became truly spongelike, somebody could dice him into hundreds of little bits, and each one would create a new Larry, which would probably lead to either a pretty bitchin' battle royale or the best dictatorship mankind has ever seen.
But he digresses. He has a whole bundle of new spells, and that's what's important!
Spoiler: Larry's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Being in Potato Heaven, Halesey can think of no better thing to do than open his mind to the spirit of the potato - it's not every day that one can behold God for inspiration, after all. Opening the binder, he attempts to harness the power of the holy... vegetable? Probably a vegetable, yes.
[Halesey's mind roll: 3+1]
The flow of knowledge is slow, but definitely there! And all of it, pleasingly enough, appears to be potatoes! It should not be long until Halesey has properly configured his mind for optimum potato reception, oh no! He will become a veritable radar dish for that stuff, and know the glory of all potatoes, all day, all night, all year round.
Spoiler: Halesey's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
And with that, Halesey is sure that he wants this, and wants this rather badly, and begins to send out good quest-accepting vibes toward God.
"I sense you accept the quest. You shall become great yet. Now, be off, and seek the path of demons," God tells him, and without another word a vortex appears behind him - it seems to lead to the material world, and yet does not seem to exert any pull on him. Curious, he finds that he can easily swim into it, and suddenly reappears in an alley seemingly quite a ways off from the bar he entered through, judging by the relatively higher grubbiness of the architecture. He quietly wonders if his vortex is still there, actually. Somebody might fall in. Not that that's a bad thing, of course.
* * * * *
Dave, not at all minding the terrible cognizance and disturbing acceptance of his own imminent mortality, floats on in the denture void, trying to think positively about it all.
[Dave's body roll: 5-1]
As he begins to go with the flow, the general dread and cold feeling also seems to decrease, which is pretty good, he guesses. At least now he has a direction to go in, or at least passively submit to. That's always a wonderful thing to have. Maybe there's something here aside from the terribly salty and biting dentures. Something that could possibly help. His mind is filled with optimism as the homogenous denture mass carries him onward, the enchanted angel ghost trying to hug him a bit befuddled at the way Dave does not seem to be even a little frightened of it.
Time passes as he floats onward, seconds turning into minutes turning into hours turning into days turning into goddamn years, or so it feels like, at least. It's impossible to take a nap here, even though Dave does feel like he could really use some of that. There is nothing here to keep his attention aside from uncomfortable poking - no idea of progress made, no distractions, nothing whatsoever anywhere. Everything shifts, and the patterns Dave can discern aren't even that interesting. Everything seems to be heading towards doom. Nothing at all to do aside from practice his dance moves, and that's not particularly fun in what seems to be zero-g either.
Dave tries humming a tune to pass the time, but he fails to remember any tunes that he'd care to repeat. The hosts of the outer planes will consume the world. And he's already exhausted his mental list of jokes that he can tell himself and laugh about, as well as the jokes that just provide him with some good memories, or even jokes that he doesn't particularly mind. He begins to find it odd that he doesn't remember much of his childhood at all. It seemed like such a vivid time back then, but now it's just grayed out in his thoughts. Cognitive ruminations are fun, or at least here they are. Gods, this is boring as hell. Denture hell, to be more precise. Denture hell that seems very eager on rubbing salt into each and every one of his bodily surfaces - his eyes start to hurt.
Actually, he's not sure he's entirely accurate in his previous assessment about the impossibility of napping here. In retrospect, he seems to have nodded off a few times already, not that it's helped much. Hard to tell when that sort of thing happens if you're bored out of your mind already. He is struck by the suspicion that he might not really be going anywhere right now, and he finds it only mildly troubling. His death-ghost seems to have disappeared somewhere. Hm.
* * * * *
John, of the opinion that one must take all the advantage of extremely cheap food that one possibly can, goes up to Chow and asks for more chow.
"An appreciator of Chow's chow, eh? You remind me of good old Karl!" Chow says, pointing at a plaque on a nearby wall commemorating an individual by the name of Karl Truman Jenkins, a jolly young man whose appreciation of Chow's chow has apparently made him the most revered of Chow's customers. According to the information available on the wall, Mr. Jenkins died earlier this year at the age of 37. Quite tragic, really. Still, John's mild sadness is alleviated by the fact that the waiter, upon John paying Chow another two dollars, reappears almost immediately with another bowl of oily noodles, and John is equally quick in scarfing it down over at the table next to his previous one, because his previous one has been taken by a man with quite a lot of knives and even more appreciation for some discount chow - when John clears his throat slightly in the man's vicinity, the fellow shoots him a deadly glare for daring to interrupt his meal - not one to cause trouble this late at night (an hour earlier would have been perfectly fine, but now he's had dinner and it always seems so pointless to cause violence after dinner), John just sits at the next nearest table and finishes this bowl of noodles as well, then picks up his rather food-filled torso and laboriously makes his way home, collapsing into his nice, wonderful bed and journeying into dreamland.
He proceeds to have eight solid, uninterrupted hours of vivid nightmares from the kilogram of oily noodles he ate right before bedtime, and wakes up in the morning feeling like some of that copious cooking oil has seeped into the rest of him. Seriously, he feels like he's been sweating nothing but GM rapeseed throughout the night, and smells like it as well.
* * * * *
Eta quickly fights off the impulse to question the way she didn't need to either pay or sign in to get a room, and thanks the fellow.
"Thank you very much. Now if there's nothing else, me and my friend are getting tired and would like to retire to our room. I assume it's upstairs?"
"Nah, nah, ground floor, down the hall. It's Room 102. Ground floor, second room. That's what the 102 means," the man explains, gesturing toward a nearby hallway. Eta and Lois, not ones to argue with that kind of solid logic, head down the hallway. "If you need anything, just holler at me, okay?" he says as they leave the reception area.
"He seems very... simple," Lois quietly says to Eta as she follows her to Room 102 - the first floor appears to have about twelve rooms in total, and each seems fairly large, to be honest, an impression that is reinforced when Eta and her friend enter Room 102 - it's nicely decorated, with exquisite-looking drapes over the windows and what look like authentic, if slightly bland paintings of fruit, and a minibar and a very comfortable-looking couch and armchair complete with accompanying coffee table, not to mention a more than slightly old CRT TV and an aging, though very much functional minifridge. There's even a sizable wardrobe that looks like a genuine antique, and a private bathroom. Slightly less pleasingly, there's only a single double bed, though it does look like it'd be downright righteous to sleep in.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 10, 2014, 03:07:03 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 10, 2014, 05:30:35 pm
Engulf in Enchanted Angel Ghosts on some dentures.
Post by: Pancaek on May 10, 2014, 05:44:49 pm
"Hello? I hope I'm not calling too early?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 10, 2014, 08:20:24 pm
"Do you want to go have a shower or something while I unpack?" Eta said,remembering that her friend had rolled for quite a distance when she materialised. Yes, she would probably enjoy a shower. A fresh set of clothes too. "I don't have any extra clothes for you but I suppose you could make due with a bathrobe for now. Or who knows, maybe I'll find a spell that can make clothes!" she joked.
I really need to go shopping with Lois. One more thing to do tomorrow. As she contemplated the nature of Lois' existence, another thought popped in her head.
"You DO know how to take a shower, right?"
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on May 10, 2014, 09:37:37 pm
Plus, now might be a chance to see just how that new mental ability of his worked...
Drop 1, 2, and 5 for 1, 2, and 3! Focus up for another dip in the magic book.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 11, 2014, 01:12:12 am
"Hello? I hope I'm not calling too early?"
Mr. Lee sounds a lot more energetic now than he did in the night, which you suppose makes sense.
"Oh no! It's already past nine. What do you take me for, some layabout? What did you wanna talk about?"
I really need to go shopping with Lois. One more thing to do tomorrow. As she contemplated the nature of Lois' existence, another thought popped in her head.
"You DO know how to take a shower, right?"
"Not really. Is it complicated?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 11, 2014, 10:44:06 am
"Oh, not even one of those little definitions of yours?" Eta asked, puzzled. It was hard to predict what that girl did or didn't know. She had assumed working out how to take a shower from its definition would be quite simple. "Well, it's quite easy. Here, let me show you." She said, leading Lois into the bathroom.I really need to go shopping with Lois. One more thing to do tomorrow. As she contemplated the nature of Lois' existence, another thought popped in her head.
"You DO know how to take a shower, right?"
"Not really. Is it complicated?"
"Use this thing here to adjust the water pressure and temperature like this to whatever is comfortable for you-" she said, demonstrating how the shower worked "and then just strip and get in. Use the water to rinse your skin and hair, then use some shower gel-" Eta put some shower gel on her hand and cleaned them a bit to demonstrate "to clean the your skin and hair. Then use some water to remove the shower gel from your body and you're done. Is that OK? Or do you need more info?"
The following assumes Lois got that.
"Great, I'll go unpack then. Call me if you need anything. I'll leave a bathrobe and some towels here for you so that you can dry yourself and have something to wear once you're done."
Leave some bathrobes and towels for Lois as promised and then go unpack. Leave the TV on while unpacking, preferably in some news channel so that I can see hear whether or not anything else of interest happened today. If no news broadcast are available, something quiet will be fine. Maybe some soft music.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 11, 2014, 02:55:30 pm
Swap Empathise with Potatoes for Bolt of Etc. Try to find home.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 11, 2014, 03:02:59 pm
Swap Repel Potatoes for Bolt of etc and Empathise with Potatoes for Wall of Pigeons.
I'm afraid I can't let you do that, man. You didn't get a 6 or a 5+1 or 4+2 or anything else that adds up to 6 or more, so you can only choose one spell. Quick reminder (or possibly the first straight-up explanation):
Natural 6 - another number is rolled, and that's how many spells you get, with ability to pick and choose any.
>5 through bonuses - subtract three from the result and that's how many spells you get, with ability to pick and choose any.
3-5 - subtract two from the result and that's how many spells you get, and you have to pick one and no more.
2 or <2 with penalties - nothing at all.
Natural 1 - another number is rolled, and you subtract the result from 7, and that's how many spells you get, and you have to take all of them.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 11, 2014, 03:05:14 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 11, 2014, 03:43:02 pm
[Dave's affinity roll: 4-1]
And lo and behold, a single ghost is once more conjured, encircling a single set of dentures before said set is consumed in the otherwise homogenous mass as Dave is carried slowly on the intradimensional denture streams to an unknown destination. Dave feels slightly pleased when he spots a confused-looking furry humanoid nearby, floating in the same direction and violently struggling with another humanoid, one made of dentures from the looks of it. That's a lot more fascinating than what he's had to feast his eyes on so far.
* * * * *
Larry, placated but not yet satisfied by all these new spells, prepares himself for more magical fun across the eighth dimension, though he's not really sure how much more prepared he can be. After all, he's here, he's got the book, he wants magic and right now he's just trying to wring some extra immediate usefulness out of a set of motions he can repeat pretty much infinitely as far as he knows at the expense of time. Maybe it'd be faster and easier to just try to absorb the shit as it flows through his mind rather than fart around and do breathing exercises before the fact, y'know?
* * * * *
Eta is a tad surprised at Lois' decidedly selective and arbitrary knowledge base. "Oh, not even one of those little definitions of yours?" she asks.
"I don't think so. I know that it's illegal to manufacture and distribute showerheads with a flow rate in excess of 2.5 gallons per minute around here. Though exactly why such a law exists, I am not quite sure," Lois replies. Quite puzzling indeed.
"Well, it's quite easy. Here, let me show you." Eta says, leading Lois over to the bathroom, which seems to have a bath-shower combination complete with a bar of soap and a selection of scented shower gels. "Use this thing here to adjust the water pressure and temperature like this to whatever is comfortable for you," she says, demonstrating the standard operating procedure of a shower, which Lois seems rather intrigued by, "and then just strip and get in. Use the water to rinse your skin and hair, then use some shower gel to clean the your skin and hair. Then use some water to remove the shower gel from your body and you're done. Is that OK? Or do you need more info?"[/color]
"I get the gist of it, thank you," Lois says, grimacing a little and nodding.
"Great, I'll go unpack then. Call me if you need anything. I'll leave a bathrobe and some towels here for you so that you can dry yourself and have something to wear once you're done," Eta says, and immediately makes good on her promise, delivering a robe and a set of towels for Lois' personal use. After being thanked by Lois, she returns to the main room and turns on the TV - national news appear to be on, fortunately enough, though they appear to contain nothing more precise in terms of information than a few basic facts that she knows already, though it is interesting to know that her explosive pillar has apparently made it on national news after it seems to have swallowed up a perfectly innocent bomb squad person (who still has not been recovered from the depths). Still seems to be stoically and vaguely menacingly standing in the street, too, even though a rather large crowd seems to have appeared all around it despite the police's efforts to disperse all onlookers. It's quite surreal seeing it in news footage, actually. The coverage of the event is predictably bland, and Eta finds it extremely difficult to consciously pay attention to the exact words of the newscaster as a result, but the basics of it do indicate that authorities are pretty much stumped by the thing.
Furthermore, they do seem to have a recording of her voice explaining all those demands on the phone as well - Eta's somewhat worried by the poor quality of her improvised voice-changing, honestly, and the authorities, according to the news, are taking it far more seriously than she was at the time. Her thoughts involuntarily wander to the subject of what people around these parts do with individuals who threaten to bomb public installations, and she's all too familiar with the stories about that kind of thing. Oh dear.
While Eta ponders life in prison without possibility of parole, she hears Lois come out of the bathroom, complete with bathrobe and rather frizzy hair. She looks quite fresh, clean and very much flushed.
"That... looks familiar," she says, looking at one of the many aerial zoom-ins of the thylacine pillar while a befuddled man from some university or another speaks via phone interview to the newscaster. "Also, a very nice bathrobe, this. I think it's my favorite article of clothing yet," she adds.
* * * * *
Halesey, after suddenly developing the holy superpower of potato empathy, tries to find his home in order to regroup. Walking down the street, he notices a grocery store, and can't resist going in and looking for some potatoes, which do seem to be very much present in very sizable quantities. Very cheap, too, which Halesey supposes he should be leery of, but decides that, since it would presumably be heresy to eat the potatoes anyway, expiration is not something he needs worry about presently, and thus he buys 2.5 kilos of tubers and heads home.
It's about five o' clock in the evening when he gets there, and he keenly realizes that he seems to be lower on money than before, and his date is approaching. Whether that's his most important concern right now, however, is another question.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 11, 2014, 04:10:15 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 11, 2014, 04:32:17 pm
Post by: Pancaek on May 11, 2014, 04:46:31 pm
John speaks into the phone, hoping that this is the last of this entire silly quest mister Lee has send him on.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 11, 2014, 07:42:46 pm
Spoiler: Internal Monologue (click to show/hide)
"Also, a very nice bathrobe, this. I think it's my favourite article of clothing yet," she adds.At least someone's happy. Eta smiled involuntarily at the thought of how such a simple thing could make Lois happy. If nothing else, I'm responsible for Lois. And she seems to care about me too. I need to be strong. For her. She tried to get her emotions out of her voice and speak calmly.
"Glad you like it. You look good in it. Although really, you haven't had many clothes to compare it with. You'll see when we go shopping tomorrow. It will be fun."
Tomorrow... Eta tried to get thoughts about tomorrow out of her head, fearing she would get lost in thinking and worrying again. She switched the subject of the conversation to something else instead.
"So, how was your shower? Everything OK?"
Post by: Toaster on May 11, 2014, 09:13:09 pm
"A bit slow on that front, book. We thought we had cash, but then we got mixed up in some angel/demon shit and we got a soul coin and also blessed. So, mixed bag. Anyway, throw me some magic, will ya? And 50 grand if you have it."
Get magic! Focus on Disintegrate spells.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 12, 2014, 08:41:26 am
"Yes, well. Last night I called to let you know that the kids are, in fact, safe. All four of them. I checked up on them and send them home. I suppose that concludes that business, yes?"
"How come I haven't heard anything from Luz's folks, then? What happened to her?"
"Glad you like it. You look good in it. Although really, you haven't had many clothes to compare it with. You'll see when we go shopping tomorrow. It will be fun."
Tomorrow... Eta tried to get thoughts about tomorrow out of her head, fearing she would get lost in thinking and worrying again. She switched the subject of the conversation to something else instead.
"So, how was your shower? Everything OK?"
"I didn't die, somewhat unexpectedly. So yes, it was very much okay," she says, then looks at the screen again. "You know, maybe you shouldn't watch the news. They seem pretty worrying."
Post by: Pancaek on May 12, 2014, 09:07:10 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 12, 2014, 09:08:35 am
"I don't know what to say, man. They did seem to harbour some kind of grudge against you for some reason or another. Maybe they just don't want to contact you? Anyway, I got them out of their little pickle they were in, they should be fine, really."
"And what pickle would that be, pray tell?" Mr. Lee asks sternly.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 12, 2014, 09:11:56 am
"Do you want to watch anything?" she said, offering Lois the remote. "I'm going to try my luck with those matches again before going to sleep." Is it a good idea to leave her alone with the tele? I know it's the polite thing to do, but is it right? She is, after all, like a child in many ways.
Give Lois the remote or turn off the TV depending on what she wants. Then find a place where it is safe to light a match (close to a vent/window, away from smoke detectors/anything flammable) and look into a match. If possible, see if I can note the time I light the match so that I can know approximately how long it takes for the process of obtaining magic to complete and how long I'm left unable to react.
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on May 12, 2014, 09:28:31 am
"And what pickle would that be, pray tell?" Mr. Lee asks sternly."Well, first they were running away from home, staying in some kind of crack den. Then they left their lay- lein or something at school, so I proposed that I'd take them there to pick it up and send them on their way. But once we got there we were attacked by a crazed meth junkie who also summoned some portals. So, I beat the guy up to protect the kids, helped them get there watchamacallit, and send them on their way home.
That's the gist of it, really. Nothing spectacular."
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 12, 2014, 09:44:34 am
"Well, first they were running away from home, staying in some kind of crack den. Then they left their lay- lein or something at school, so I proposed that I'd take them there to pick it up and send them on their way. But once we got there we were attacked by a crazed meth junkie who also summoned some portals. So, I beat the guy up to protect the kids, helped them get there watchamacallit, and send them on their way home.
That's the gist of it, really. Nothing spectacular."
Mr. Lee is silent for a moment.
"... so the school was you kids, then. That's no good, son. You've done the exact opposite of solving the problem, actually. And now them kids are probably gone for good."
Another pause.
"I'm very disappointed in you," he says slightly ominously, and then hangs up.
Post by: Pancaek on May 12, 2014, 09:51:17 am
John, getting a rather bad feeling about this, phones Luz
"Heya, Luz. So, uh. Lee called. I told him a bunch of lies and shit to get him to stop bothering me. But....yeah...
I think he might be mad and out to kill me now. I don't suppose you've got any ideas? Or a spare hideout?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 12, 2014, 03:38:03 pm
Hm. Maybe he needs a robe of some sort. He is, after all, an acolyte now. A man of the burlap, so to speak. And a staff, too. And maybe even a pointy hat once he advances enough in the way of the potato. But that's something to think about later, he supposes, after he gets some dang money to operate with already.
* * * * *
Dave, not one to let such a priceless opportunity slip by him, tries to swim toward the wrestling humanoids.
[Dave's body roll: 6-->6-1]
Conquering his flabbiness and slight insanity with all the ease of a truly driven pilgrim, he reaches the two of them in almost a single mighty bound, and poses a powerful, wise question.
"Hey guy. What's up."
The furry, apelike creature and the denture man both look at him for a moment.
[Dentureman vs. Dave: 5 vs. 6-1]
[Yeti vs. Dave: 6 vs. 3-1]
The next few moments are something that Dave can't quite remember a few seconds later, but the fact remains that he finds himself spinning through the mass of dentures, extremely confused and in a lot of pain. He doesn't quite remember the immediate chain of events that led him here, to be perfectly honest, but judging from the broken nose, the taste of blood and the feeling of quite a few tooth fragments in his mouth is indicative that, whatever happened, it probably wasn't a very friendly exchange, to say the least.
* * * * *
Larry, curious to see what attempts to control the flow of spells into his mind may bring, focuses on the idea of disintegration while looking at the binder's confounding diagrams.
[Larry's mind roll: 1-->4+1]
And it does seem to work, sort of! He manages to sort of orient himself, look out for certain kernels of knowledge amidst the vast sea of magic, then reach out to them purely of his own initiative and make them his own. He makes them so very much his own, in fact, that he finds it rather difficult to let them go when he slowly emerges from the mist enveloping his mind.
Spoiler: Larry's New Spells of Disintegration (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Eta says, heeding Lois' advice and moving to turn off the TV, but thinking better of it within a moment. "Do you want to watch anything?" she asks, offering Lois the remote, which she takes and examines for a moment.
"I'm going to try my luck with those matches again before going to sleep." Eta continues, eliciting a nod from Lois as the latter sits down and starts flipping through channels, eventually settling on some kind of weird religious channel where a man with a white beard, thick-framed eyeglasses, a pronounced lisp and a hot pink robe seems to be talking about space and how it might be important to humanity's ultimate salvation in a nasal tone. Quality late night programming, that's for sure.
Well, no matter, Eta takes out a match and strikes it near the window, noting that the present time showing on the old alarm clock on the nightstand appears to be 1:07 AM. Looking into the black flame, she fades into darkness once more.
[Eta's mind roll: 6-->4+1]
This time, the darkness feels altogether more claustrophobic, an impression that is almost immediately confirmed when Eta realizes she seems to be enveloped in some kind of metallic shell, with her body positioned in a T-shape reminiscent of a crucifixion, her arms and legs completely immobile. She is about to panic a little when she has the idea of checking what she can actually move. After all, these rooms are puzzles at their core, and such a fact implies a solution, obviously. With this in mind, she goes through all her body parts, and finds it interesting when only her fingers, her toes and her head seem to be movable to any degree, and that every such movement seems to create a mechanical noise of some kind. She begins to try out combinations immediately, finding out that each combo also seems to have a different, much less predictable sound. The first attempt makes a very powerful C sharp, the second produces random cat noises, while the third seems to do nothing for a few moments, until Eta feels her head begin to throb and the metallic coffin around her begin to menacingly vibrate. Visions begin swim around the corners of her eyes when suddenly the coffin shatters with a deafening boom, causing Eta to rocket back to the world of wakefulness, head still slightly pounding and the sounds of the room feeling a little muted as she looks at the clock. 1:08 AM. Huh.
Spoiler: Eta's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
John, feeling like his chance of being visited by a nice man with many sharp and painful instruments of murder may have skyrocketed just now, tries to call Luz, who he guesses is his only friend in the entire world right about now.
Unfortunately, though, she doesn't seem to be picking up. Maybe she's still asleep?
Post by: lawastooshort on May 12, 2014, 04:54:01 pm
Post by: Toaster on May 12, 2014, 09:23:21 pm
2. Transform Dinosaur Into Intriguing Hat
BEST SPELL EVER.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 13, 2014, 04:06:21 am
((Indeed. And not only that, I also got a spell that gives me golden projectiles! And a vortex! If I wasn't hunted by the authorities, I'd be the luckiest wizard (witch?) ever!))2. Transform Dinosaur Into Intriguing Hat
BEST SPELL EVER.
Eta almost squealed with delight. Oh, those are great! I bet everybody will be impressed with those. Thanks, funny voice. Eta emptied her matchbox of magic matches and refilled it with normal matches, as an experiment to see if magic matches kept being magic if left out of the box. She then turned and approached Lois.
"Hey, I got some great spells. Can't wait to try them out tomorrow!" Eta said as she sat on the couch with Lois, looking at the TV. "Got any idea what legal requirements there are for selling gold around here?"
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 13, 2014, 08:45:09 am
Post by: Toaster on May 13, 2014, 10:08:57 am
Drop Disintegrate Aspirin and Evoke Depressing Monocle. Jump right back in for more magic.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 13, 2014, 10:46:34 am
"Hey, I got some great spells. Can't wait to try them out tomorrow!" Eta said as she sat on the couch with Lois, looking at the TV. "Got any idea what legal requirements there are for selling gold around here?"
"I don't think there are any. You needed a license for gold ownership up until the seventies, I think, but now it's less regulated. If I remember it right, of course," Lois says, watching the TV intently. The man on the screen seems to be rambling in an even tone, occasionally pausing for a drawn-out "uh" as he seems to be trying to figure out how to get back on whatever his original subject might have been, yet apparently failing each time.
Post by: Pancaek on May 13, 2014, 11:39:04 am
Grab money, wallet cellphone. See if I've got some sort of weapon in my home, and if so, grab it. Then go outside, lock up, grab my bike and start going in the opposite direction of mister Lee's shop.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 13, 2014, 01:05:58 pm
Stay on the couch and watch TV with Lois. Respond to any little questions Lois may have. Any big questions can interrupt following actions.
When I'm sufficiently bored and sleepy get up and wear sleep appropriate clothing.
*yawn* "I think it's time for me to go to sleep. Are you OK with us sleeping in the same bed?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 13, 2014, 02:36:52 pm
Halesey can spot several small feathered fiends feasting on certain bits of dinosaur left in the ruins - only about half of them seem to be dinosaurs. The other half are simply crows. They look rather similar, once one gets past the slight size difference and the fact that one type of scavenging beast has slightly more teeth than the other.
* * * * *
Dave, with diplomacy having proven a resounding failure, chooses to engage in more spell attainment. Eventually he will get something useful, he knows it!
[Dave's mind roll: 2+2]
Striking a match and letting the green flame take him in, he finds himself suddenly standing atop a crumbling skyscraper in the middle of the town he was forcibly pulled out of not too long ago. The city all around him seems to have crumbled quite a bit. Tiny figures can be seen moving about on the ground, and enormous beasts both prehistoric and downright magical seem to roam the trashed landscape all around. The only structures in proper condition seem to be towers - incongruous towers stretching up into the skies, strange, almost imperceptible light shining at Dave, causing him to turn away.
Guided by impulse, he looks at the sky. There is no sun despite it seeming to be midday, and no clouds to obscure it, either. There's just an endless, vomitous green up above, screaming ghosts flying all about, trying to hunt large, flying birds. As Dave watches them go, he doesn't even notice how quickly time begins to pass all around him, and when he blinks, he is back in the denture dimension, slightly confused.
Spoiler: Dave's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Larry, unrestricted by the presence of any busybody potato maniacs, pigs out on magical research with no remorse or shame.
[Larry's mind roll: 3+1]
His mind, though, seems to be getting real plump now. Knowledge still seeps into it, but the process is becoming more arduous and mildly uncomfortable. Larry guesses it might be very much like another thing one does privately in one's home in that respect.
Spoiler: Larry's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
John knows that he can waste no time, as it is rather a-wastin' as it is, and if he allows it to be wasted, he may get wasted himself, and not in the fun way, either. Grabbing his money, wallet, cell phone and snub-nosed revolver he keeps in a shoebox exactly for times like these, he runs outside, locks his door and quickly gets on his personal bicycle and tries to pedal his way out of the Lower Esplanade, presumably for good.
Half an hour later, he dares say he has been remarkably successful, having relocated his sorry ass to the middle of the slightly ruined locale of Retiree Row. Slightly decreasing his speed, he surveys his surroundings. The place seems pretty quiet, and slightly lacking in people other than the occasional pensioner walking down the street, looking even more fearful than John himself in many ways.
* * * * *
Eta is glad to have a lawyer on hand - she's fairly certain that, for a wanted terrorist such as herself, legal counsel within arms reach may prove critical in the near future.
"Oh, thanks, that's good to know. If I understood what that spell does, we're going to have some gold to sell tomorrow."
"That does sound useful," Lois says slightly absently as she stares at the screen. Eta, seeing how Lois doesn't seem very conversationally inclined, chooses to watch the rambling man as well.
"-and that's why going to space is, uh, well, important, you know?" the man says, shrugging. "I mean, there's, like, dinosaurs coming back. They want the planet, I think. It used to be theirs, and it's, like, only fair, man. We are only, uh, kids playing around here. Like, playing around on the lawn of the, uh, ancients and sh-uh, stuff. Yeah. It was a pretty nice lawn, too, you know, until we, uh, started fu-uh, messing with it. And if you mess with the, uh, lawn, at some point the groundskeeper's gonna, like, come out and be all like 'imma fu-erm, imma make you be sorry!' And we totally will be. Sorry for, like, everything. Sorry our great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great," he continues, pausing to gasp for air, "great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great times a million grandparents ate their eggs while they, like, weren't looking. Because if they were looking, they'd, like, have eaten all of our ancestors. And then we wouldn't even be here. Imagine that, huh? Evolution's amazing, man. It's, like, everything that's alive in the world is your cousin. Like a hillbilly wedding. Uh, no offense to, like, actual hillbillies. I'm sure they're great people. Good people. Moral, uh, god-fearing, pious people, like, total stand-up gentlemen. And ladies. Wait, do you call a lady hillbilly a hillbilly? I honestly don't know. Or is 'hillbilly' a slur?... You know, I think it's a slur. Forget I, like, uh, said any of that, okay? I don't want to, uh, alienate anyone. Especially, like, people who real aliens, like Mexi-uh, I think I'll, like, shut up now, guys. And gals. That's okay, right? Yeah, I thought so," he says, and then gestures at somebody off-camera to stop. The footage cuts off and music (http://youtu.be/BowyUXyNud4) starts playing, with the message "Channel 97 Will Be Back At 5 To Fulfill All Of Your Needs" written in white letters across the picture of a fairly bland pastoral landscape. These UHF TV stations can get pretty weird late at night, it seems. Eta stares at the picture for a moment before she feels compelled to yawn.
"I think it's time for me to go to sleep. Are you OK with us sleeping in the same bed?" she asks of Lois, who turns off the TV now that it seems to hold nothing of interest.
"Sure," she replies. "Why would it be a problem?" she then asks as Eta gets ready for bed.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 13, 2014, 02:51:02 pm
Walk
Post by: Pancaek on May 13, 2014, 02:52:45 pm
"Yes, um, John again. I think we might have ended on a bit of a sour note earlier. I just want you to know that I'm sorry about what happened at the school."
Post by: Toaster on May 13, 2014, 03:43:57 pm
Quote
Booty was no go, but got another way to solve our cash problem.
((Harry: Are the two of us more or less time-synced?))
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 13, 2014, 04:02:18 pm
Also, Storm of Eldritch Cocaine. That's one way to kill the entire city. And probably force the government to either quarantine the area or legalize drugs. EDIT: Oh, wait, my bad, it's Storm, not Rain. That's better for the prospects of the city for survival.
And I just had a scary thought. You people who have found a leyline can just keep meditating on the concept of Rain until you get something deadly and then hold the city ransom. Classic supervillain plot there.))
"I think it's time for me to go to sleep. Are you OK with us sleeping in the same bed?" she asks of Lois, who turns off the TV now that it seems to hold nothing of interest.
"Sure," she replies. "Why would it be a problem?" she then asks as Eta gets ready for bed.
"Well, some people don't like it. Maybe they like to have the bed to themselves or maybe the other snores or has uneasy sleep or maybe they're just... I don't know. Uncomfortable, perhaps."
Eta was about to say prude, but thought better of it. If she doesn't know what that means, that conversation could get awkward.
"I guess there are lots of reasons. All depend on the people and the bed, I suppose." Eta sat down on the side of the bed closest to the alarm clock. "If you think I'm disturbing your sleep. just tell me and I'll relocate to the couch."
If all's OK, sleep.
Offer Lois some of my clothes (even if they're larger) so that she doesn't have to sleep with the bathrobe if she doesn't want to.
Before going to sleep, set the alarm clock to sometime early. I want to watch the news while eating breakfast and try my luck at getting some gold and maybe get some clothes for Lois before I arrange a meeting with Mr Pilton.
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on May 13, 2014, 04:09:14 pm
QuoteBooty was no go, but got another way to solve our cash problem.
Text back!
Quote
Um okay. Can't be worse than my idea. I need enough to buy... that girl dinner in about two hours. Yeah.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 13, 2014, 04:22:49 pm
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 13, 2014, 11:36:57 pm
"Allright, Let's do this then." John finds a payphone, and calls mister Lee again.
"Yes, um, John again. I think we might have ended on a bit of a sour note earlier. I just want you to know that I'm sorry about what happened at the school."
When Mr. Lee realizes it's you again, he doesn't sound very pleased.
"You lied to me, son. That's no good. Now, tell me everything that happened. Truthfully."
((Harry: Are the two of us more or less time-synced?))
Pretty much, yeah. It's not even much of a stretch in your case.
Post by: Pancaek on May 14, 2014, 05:50:54 am
When Mr. Lee realizes it's you again, he doesn't sound very pleased.
"You lied to me, son. That's no good. Now, tell me everything that happened. Truthfully."
John cringes slightly at mister Lee's words.
"Right, so. After you told me to get them I went and fond their little hideout, some abandoned appartement or another. THere were four of them there. The two girls were easy enough to convince once I pointed out the flaws in their plan, and they went home without much of a struggle. Trey and Luz, however, I couldn't convince. Please believe me, I tried.
So, since they were hell-bent on getting to that leyline in that school, and I couldn't see a way to stop them, I kinda went with them to make sure they were going to be all right. Once at the school however, everything got a bit violent, what with that watchman guy who summons these teeth vortexes or another. So, everyone starts throwing magical punches, the school gets partly demolished and everyone gets hurt. After that we basically grabbed that leyline, got out of the school and parted ways.
I've got no idea where they are right now. All they said is that they were going to go somewhere safe. I also promised them not to tell you anything. I don't know what the deal is between you and them, but Trey in particular seems to really, really hate you.
So, that's what happened in a nutshell. Oh, they also said that the leyline belonged to someone called Jeanie or something."
Post by: lawastooshort on May 14, 2014, 06:09:44 am
etc
8 spells?! Good lord, your head is going to explode.
edit: Especially when you actually cast one, with that 0.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 14, 2014, 07:14:10 am
etc
8 spells?! Good lord, your head is going to explode.
edit: Especially when you actually cast one, with that 0.
Actually, he can have 9 at a time, since he has 6 Mind. Not sure why he insists it's only 5.
"Right, so. After you told me to get them I went and fond their little hideout, some abandoned appartement or another. THere were four of them there. The two girls were easy enough to convince once I pointed out the flaws in their plan, and they went home without much of a struggle. Trey and Luz, however, I couldn't convince. Please believe me, I tried.
So, since they were hell-bent on getting to that leyline in that school, and I couldn't see a way to stop them, I kinda went with them to make sure they were going to be all right. Once at the school however, everything got a bit violent, what with that watchman guy who summons these teeth vortexes or another. So, everyone starts throwing magical punches, the school gets partly demolished and everyone gets hurt. After that we basically grabbed that leyline, got out of the school and parted ways.
I've got no idea where they are right now. All they said is that they were going to go somewhere safe. I also promised them not to tell you anything. I don't know what the deal is between you and them, but Trey in particular seems to really, really hate you.
So, that's what happened in a nutshell. Oh, they also said that the leyline belonged to someone called Jeanie or something."
"Them kids hate me because I want them to stay safe, which for them means boredom, attending school and not being able to use magic as freely as they like. It's natural for them to hate me, but all of this is for their own safety, and the safety of the many, many people around them. I'm sure you're familiar with this kind of thing, son," Mr. Lee explains patiently. "And they were on the money with the leyline. It did belong to someone else. And now that you've empowered them kids, made them even better at magic, pretty much shown them that they can get what they want through force, well, there ain't much hope of getting them to come back willingly. They're on the dark path now, and I can't help them turn this whole thing around alone. You might be able to, if you try."
Post by: Toaster on May 14, 2014, 09:06:50 am
QuoteUm okay. Can't be worse than my idea. I need enough to buy... that girl dinner in about two hours. Yeah.
Quote
Let's just say it's similar to the previous plan, but eldritch instead of divine, so no angels and demons messing it up. Maybe Johnny Law, if you know what I mean.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 14, 2014, 09:51:55 am
Fix'd and mostly because I made a typo in the first post from which the rest are derived.etc
8 spells?! Good lord, your head is going to explode.
edit: Especially when you actually cast one, with that 0.
Actually, he can have 9 at a time, since he has 6 Mind. Not sure why he insists it's only 5.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 14, 2014, 10:31:40 am
Have we got time to do this plan before I do this... dinner? Cos my plan's real quick. And as stupid.
Post by: Toaster on May 14, 2014, 10:34:31 am
Have we got time to do this plan before I do this... dinner? Cos my plan's real quick. And as stupid.
Quote
Why don't we meet outside that bar and I'll tell you about it? Bring a bag.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 14, 2014, 10:39:23 am
Quote
Er... okay. Will be there shortly. Probably 30 minutes.
((I just have to see if I can bust open ATMs with potatoes first...))
Post by: Toaster on May 14, 2014, 10:49:35 am
Quote
Fine
Relax a bit, then meet Halesey at the bar. Bring a bag.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 14, 2014, 02:15:01 pm
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5+1]
The vortex, as bidden by Halesey, appears absolutely perfectly and powerfully, its edge touching the very middle of the machine. The wall around it shakes and cracks, and the machine is pulled straight out, plunging into the vortex laboriously. It doesn't seem to have opened, but it is free of the wall now, rather wonderfully. Halesey ponders what to do for a moment before the machine is promptly hurled out of the vortex by the tubery hands of several potatomen, flying through the air very rapidly and smashing into the wall of a nearby convenience store and leaving a sizable mark in addition to breaking apart, quite a bit of money spilling out of its formerly well-protected mechanical innards, along with an absolutely obscene amount of weird orange stuff that looks a little like what you'd expect robot blood to resemble.
Well, that's a spot of good luck, Halesey thinks before getting a very promising message from his partner in glorious magical shenanigans. After arranging a meeting, he wonders how much time he has left before a contingent of burly, heavily armed men arrives and attempts to sodomize any suspicious characters into submission with their loaded firearms.
* * * * *
Eta, now that the subject's been opened up, tries to explain to Lois why someone might be uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed as a dear friend of theirs.
"Well, some people don't like it. Maybe they like to have the bed to themselves or maybe the other snores or has uneasy sleep or maybe they're just... I don't know. Uncomfortable, perhaps. I guess there are lots of reasons. All depend on the people and the bed, I suppose," she says, sitting down on the bed on the side next to the alarm clock. "If you think I'm disturbing your sleep. just tell me and I'll relocate to the couch."
"Oh. I haven't actually slept before, so I guess I can't really say if I'm good to sleep with," Lois says, shrugging. "I should be okay, though, right? Sleeping can't be that difficult to do, right?"
Eta guesses she agrees, and offers Lois a nightshirt to wear instead of the bathrobe, but she seems to like wearing the robe too much to accept. After setting the alarm for 6:30 AM, something that is sure to be a very easy time to wake up at, given that it seems to be 1:13 AM right now, she lays down and eases on into dreamland, and Lois seems to do the same.
Slightly more than five hours later, the alarm goes off, and Eta finds herself feeling shockingly rested. Must have gotten the rhythm just right. Lois seems to be altogether more drowsy, and not entirely wakeful at this point, seemingly fading back into unconsciousness as soon as Eta turns off the alarm.
* * * * *
Dave, in a fit of unusual luck, seems to have obtained a useful spell! Why would he ever not want to transform into a porcine clown, he wonders, and can't seem to think of any reasons right now, possibly on account of his mildly pickled brain, but also because it's a totally flawless plan, or so his brain tells him.
[Dave's affinity roll: 1-->3-1]
Concentrating for a single moment, Dave gets in touch with the essence of both pig and clown, each of which flows into random body parts of his! His right leg begins to swell and pulse, and he is suddenly overtaken by a splitting headache! Both of them begin to grow abnormally and become incredibly painful within seconds, and about a minute or so of incoherent screaming later, both his head and his leg suddenly explode in a very bloody, painful-looking, yet also somewhat relieving fashion! As the red mist clears, Dave becomes aware of two important facts - his leg is now a relatively small pig, and his head is now a fun-sized clown that appears to be sitting on his shoulders, but in fact is connected to his spine with its elongated, primitive tailbone. Both look very disturbing, though they seem to be fully under his control.
With all this in mind, Dave is rather curious about when something will go right for once, really.
* * * * *
Larry, after giving Halesey a heads-up, chills a bit on his couch, nodding at one of his dude posters in a bro-like fashion before deciding that he had better get over to the dang bar already, and grab a totally inconspicuous duffel bag he's got lying around while he's at it. And so he ventures out, reaching the Golden Noon Mountain within a reasonably short while. Maybe he can try to pick someone up a second time, since he's almost a high roller now. Chicks dig a man who can blast infinite cocaine at them, after all.
Post by: Pancaek on May 14, 2014, 02:35:52 pm
"Right, I suppose this means you want me to get them back, right? I understand that this is something I should do, but you do realize that there is only one of me and two of them? I did start out with two other people, but they just went braindead along the way. So if those kids really don't want to come, they will kill me. Surely you understand that I'm slightly hesitant to go and drag them back?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 14, 2014, 02:42:29 pm
John leans back on his bike, sighing deeply.
"Right, I suppose this means you want me to get them back, right? I understand that this is something I should do, but you do realize that there is only one of me and two of them? I did start out with two other people, but they just went braindead along the way. So if those kids really don't want to come, they will kill me. Surely you understand that I'm slightly hesitant to go and drag them back?"
"Dragging them back won't work, son, even I know that. They're equipped and ready to fight something like that. Naw, what they need is something more impressive. Question is, are you ready to help me on this?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 14, 2014, 03:18:35 pm
MOAR SPELLS!
Post by: Pancaek on May 14, 2014, 03:19:48 pm
"I feel like I'm somewhat betraying their trust. But yes, I'm with you all the way, mister Lee. I'll do whatever you say."John leans back on his bike, sighing deeply.
"Right, I suppose this means you want me to get them back, right? I understand that this is something I should do, but you do realize that there is only one of me and two of them? I did start out with two other people, but they just went braindead along the way. So if those kids really don't want to come, they will kill me. Surely you understand that I'm slightly hesitant to go and drag them back?"
"Dragging them back won't work, son, even I know that. They're equipped and ready to fight something like that. Naw, what they need is something more impressive. Question is, are you ready to help me on this?"
Maybe things will be allright when someone better than I takes the lead, john thought.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 14, 2014, 03:59:53 pm
Get up and prepare a breakfast for me and Lois with the food I brought last night. Try to be quiet.
Put the TV on mute and watch the news for anything distressing like pictures of Eta. Eat while watching.
Then get dressed and leave a note telling Lois that she can eat the breakfast I prepared for her and that I'll be back soon.
Then take the hotel room key and leave the hotel.
Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on May 14, 2014, 04:07:17 pm
Post by: Toaster on May 14, 2014, 08:19:23 pm
Scope out the bar population. Recall if there is a convenient alley or secluded area nearby. Wait for Halesey.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 15, 2014, 05:17:28 am
"I feel like I'm somewhat betraying their trust. But yes, I'm with you all the way, mister Lee. I'll do whatever you say."
"They won't thank you for it, but it's for their own good. Meet a friend of mine out by the Git Ur Things next to the school. He'll set you straight on the matter, son."
Post by: Pancaek on May 15, 2014, 06:02:46 am
John puts away his phone and takes out the spellbook.
"Okay then. Let's load up on some new spells and git going."
Read magical magazine. Then get on my bike and get going to the Git Ur Things
Spoiler: john (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 15, 2014, 01:00:28 pm
[Dave's mind roll: 4+2]
And once again he tumbles through a massive mindscape, hovering above a vast plain. There is no vegetation as far as the eye can see, and no water is present, either. Dave tries to breathe in, but finds that there is no air. His clown honks its nose sadly, and his pig begins to flip out as it realizes that it can't take in any oxygen. All is dust around Dave, and the atmosphere ripples as he observes it. The world is silent.
Dave looks around, and sees a nearby mountain - there appears to be a cave atop it, and light is emanating from it. With a single thought, Dave finds himself at the entrance, and ventures in despite the pig's attempts to do its own thing. And, once inside, he finds... nothing at all. For some reason, he is struck by a sense of profundity, which slowly begins to fade as he returns to the world of dentures.
Spoiler: Dave's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Eta lets Lois continue her rest - she obviously lacks the necessary mettle to live on five hours of sleep or less like most responsible adults do, and easing her into the cold, harsh reality of everyday life is probably best. After fixing up an improvised breakfast (a process made slightly difficult by the fact that of what she brought here, about three quarters by mass are carrots) for both herself right now and for her friend to eat later, she sits down by the TV and begins to watch some muted news. It takes her a moment to realize that she's still on Channel 97 and that the guy cosplaying as Sam Elliott on what is probably their resident news show doesn't seem to be a big fan of captions or quality pictures, and she promptly changes the channel to something more informative. The national news seem altogether less distressing than feared, and no pictures of Eta seem to be available there. Guess counter-terrorism technology has a ways to go before overnight perpetrator identification and capture.
Eta reflects that it would be funny if a special forces team busted down her door just as she thought that. Fortunately, it appears that life, while funny, does not appear to feel like being an asshole to her this fine morning. It is a bit funny to see the caption "DOWNTOWN DINGO DETONATION SAFELY AVERTED" beneath the vivid image of trucks carefully driving several miniature thylacine pillars down the streets of the city as the sun begins the arduous process of rising.
Ah well, no time to dally! Eta quickly gets dressed, writes Lois a note with instructions about breakfast and information on her absence, then heads out of the hotel. There seems to be a different guy at the reception desk, but he pays Eta no mind as she leaves.
Outside the hotel, the streets are pretty quiet, cold and dark, just as an early bird like Eta likes them.
* * * * *
Halesey quickly scoops up whatever cash he can, somewhat miffed at the way all of it seems to be sprayed with some kind of orange crap, and, after stuffing whatever he reasonably can into his jacket pockets, runs off, quickly popping into a grocery store on the way to the bar and buying some loose onions to get one of those cool reusable bags. Hopefully his buddy will have something promising lined up!
* * * * *
Larry, currently in the process of waiting for his buddy, scopes out the population of the bar, and quickly determines that there is nobody of interest here - bunch of old, drunken farts, that's all. Seems like attendance has bottomed out at this hour, pretty much.
But Larry, savvy fellow that he is, immediately thinks back to the layout of the surrounding neighborhood, and remembers that there are at least three secluded alleys in the area that he could get some action in, or even provide some should the mood strike him. These thoughts keep him occupied until Halesey, all dressed up and with places to go, shows up at the bar, looking a bit tired out, no doubt from all that running he seems to do.
* * * * *
John, after agreeing to a date with Mr. Lee's friend, tries to load up on new spells before his departure.
[John's mind roll: 4+1]
With an atypical sense of urgency, he catches a whole bunch of spheres like nobody's business and quickly makes a selection.
Spoiler: John's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Making his choice, he pedals on back to Mills High, and stops only when he has reached the friendly sight of the Git Ur Things secondhand clothing warehouse, the best friend of fashion-conscious people with absolutely no money since 1989. John wonders where the person he's supposed to meet might be, and whether he knows who John is. He'd assume so - after all, Mr. Lee didn't tell John what this person looked like or anything. Outside the store in the rather sparsely populated parking lot there appears to be a man in a suit checking out a closed hot dog stand, a middle-aged lady messing around with her car engine, a muscular, shirtless man covered in tattoos sitting on a bench and relaxing, and a fellow in a laborer's shade playing a koto right next to the entrance.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 15, 2014, 02:03:32 pm
Head to the bathroom, lock myself in a cubicle, and check all the cash to see if any of it is orange-fluid free. Exit bathroom, leaving orange stained cash on a toilet seat.
"So, er, I could do with a drink, but I don't really have any spare cash on me. My stupid plan was... pretty stupid, I guess. So what's your plan?"
Post by: Toaster on May 15, 2014, 02:05:38 pm
He grabs Halesey by the arm and drags him to the most secluded of the alleyways. "Hope you got your bag, big guy, because I got two words for you- eldritch cocaine."
Post by: Pancaek on May 15, 2014, 03:26:15 pm
"Say, mister lee. I'm at the location, but there are quite a few people here. How do I recognize who your friend is?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 15, 2014, 03:46:11 pm
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on May 15, 2014, 04:03:26 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 15, 2014, 05:15:33 pm
Find some secluded place where I could safely cast Volley of Golden High Heels, like a back alley or similar. EDIT: Or at least a place that doesn't have many things I could break.
Cast Volley of Golden High Heels, aiming for some trashcans or a sturdy looking wall.
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on May 16, 2014, 07:46:10 am
Storm of Eldritch Cocaine go!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 09:24:02 am
John, spoiled for choice, decides to take the safe route and grabs his cellphone again, calling mister Lee.
"Say, mister lee. I'm at the location, but there are quite a few people here. How do I recognize who your friend is?"
"Can't really say, son, his looks and gender tend to vary a lot. He's kind of weird that way."
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 09:29:16 am
John, spoiled for choice, decides to take the safe route and grabs his cellphone again, calling mister Lee.
"Say, mister lee. I'm at the location, but there are quite a few people here. How do I recognize who your friend is?"
"Can't really say, son, his looks and gender tend to vary a lot. He's kind of weird that way."
"Right, thanks anyway." John end the call, feeling slightly dissapointed. He walks up to the man playing the instrument.
"Excuse me, do you happen to be a friend of mister Lee?"
Go and introduce myself to the musician. If he isn't Lee's friend, start asking the other people the same question.
Spoiler: john (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 11:25:26 am
"Hope you got your bag, big guy, because I got two words for you - eldritch cocaine," Larry says, but Halesey doesn't look all that impressed. Fortunately, he doesn't need to be yet. At Larry's urging, Halesey holds up the bag and lets his buddy get his hookup going.
[Larry's affinity roll: 1-->3+1]
A vein bulges on Larry's temple, pulsing as he tries to make it storm eldritch cocaine. The coke ain't coming, though. Larry wonders what the problem might be, honestly. Performance anxiety? Lack of cheering? His secret awareness of the fact that, since the spell seems quite good, it can't possibly work as good as advertised? A profound lack of answers to the question 'why bother'? Fear of the law getting wind (literally) of cocaine dealings in the area?
* * * * *
Dave has a wicked plan and, as one often does with wicked plans, sets it into motion immediately without any thought about the potential consequences. First of all, he tries to engulf a set of dentures in enchanted angel ghosts.
[Dave's affinity roll: 1-->2-1]
Rather predictably, he winds up with himself engulfed in infinitely repeating specters of angels, their fractal, ectoplasmic bodies wrapping around him, filling him with sensations of approaching death! Fortunately, Dave was prepared for this kind of eventuality. In fact, he has a spell for it now!
[Dave's affinity roll: 5-1]
Concentrating for a minute, he manages to reach out to the dead angels engulfing him and... adjusts them, so to speak. He notices them begin to fall apart - some suddenly snap in half and dissipate, some begin to twist in even more unnatural ways, while some others begin to look not entirely right in the head, so to speak. Most of them remain on Dave, though their effects seem to have changed slightly now.
[Dave's body roll: 5-1]
They're not particularly bothersome, at least. Dave's not quite as bothered by the icy chill of death now that it's spreading through him a second time. In fact, it feels a lot like the embrace of his dear old grandma, and she was pretty okay, if a little batty at times.
* * * * *
Eta, following in the footsteps of many wizards before her, tries to find a secluded place that nobody would mind if it was vandalized with a whole lot of golden footwear. Unfortunately, of all the alleys around, none are particularly secluded - on the other hand, none of them have all that much in terms of fragile content, so it's all good, she supposes as she walks into the alley - well, not so much a proper alley as a very small side street, really - and turns to a very impudent trashcan propped up in what looks like the rear entrance of some boutique. She puts out her hand and tries to summon up the power.
[Eta's affinity roll: 5+1]
[Eta's finesse roll: 6-->4]
Possibly because of her rather rested state, she finds the magic come easily to her - a whole clump of what look like solid gold high heels appear in her hand and immediately shoot toward the trashcan with minimal spread, smashing the can against the wall with the greatest of ease, and many of the shoes seem to be embedded in the wall from the power of the volley - furthermore, many of them seem quite bent from the impact. And, judging from the sound they made, they seem to indeed be metallic as well - all signs point to these golden high heels being the genuine article, pretty much.
* * * * *
John, unable to shove all the enormous responsibility of going up to a person and ask if they're here on behalf of a pawn shop wizard onto Mr. Lee's shoulders, walks up to the koto player and addresses them.
"Excuse me, do you happen to be a friend of mister Lee?" he asks, and the busker looks up. Disturbingly, the face that meets John clearly does not seem to belong to a human being. Rather, it seems to be that of a cow.
"Moo," it says and shakes its head. John nods slowly and starts to back away, but the busker grabs his hand, its brown and wet eyes meeting his as its black tongue shoots out of its mouth, poking its own snout for a moment before retreating back in. "Moo, I say," it adds in a flat manner, getting up and stepping over the koto, getting way up into John's personal space. The busker seems to be at least a full head taller than him, and its massive shade completely eclipses the morning sun above John's head.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 16, 2014, 11:36:12 am
Post by: Toaster on May 16, 2014, 11:59:39 am
Once more, with feeling!
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 12:12:01 pm
No need to be rude, thought John. Bovines can be deceptively smart
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 01:06:44 pm
"Ah, yes, pardon my directness. Are you absolutely sure you do not know a Mister Lee? I was told to meet one of his friends here."
No need to be rude, thought John. Bovines can be deceptively smart
The busker seems to think a moment, and then confidently shakes its head, and points to itself. "Moo," it then says.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 01:20:07 pm
John, somehow throws about 20$ into the buskers basket/case/whatever, then goes to the man in the suit at the hotdog stand.
"excuse me sir, do you know a mister Lee?"
((Do you mind if I do these things without them being actual actions, but as those small conversation updates? You know, to speed things up a bit since I'm basically just looking for the right person? ))
Post by: lawastooshort on May 16, 2014, 01:32:55 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 01:45:25 pm
" Ah, yes, I see. I am terribly sorry for interrupting your play. Allow me to make up for your lost time."
John, somehow throws about 20$ into the buskers basket/case/whatever, then goes to the man in the suit at the hotdog stand.
The busker doesn't let go of you. It seems significantly stronger than you are.
"Moo," it says thoughtfully at you as you squirm in its grasp.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 01:57:33 pm
Says John, somewhat scared, hoping that this man-cow can be reasoned with
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 02:02:06 pm
"Good sir, I'm going to have to ask you to let me go now. I'll donate 50 dollars to your cause. But I will have you know that this is considered assault and if you do not stop this at once I will have no other choice than to use force."
Says John, somewhat scared, hoping that this man-cow can be reasoned with
"Moo," it says, shaking its head vigorously. You wonder what it wants.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 02:05:32 pm
John asks, leaving enough time between questions for the cow-man to think and answer.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 02:09:24 pm
"Okay. Moo once for yes, Moo twice for no. Do you want my help? Did somebody do this you? Is it someone in this parking lot?"
"Moo. Hm... moo? Moo."
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 02:11:45 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 02:12:29 pm
"Allright, yes, now we are getting somewhere. Rest assured, I will try to help you. Now, do you think you could put me down and point out the person who did this to you?"
The busker moos once and points at itself. It doesn't let you go, though.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 02:16:21 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 02:18:49 pm
"So. You did this to yourself? Is it the cow thing you want me help with? Or is it something else?"
"Moo. Moo, moo. Moo!" it says, the last moo sounding a bit more enthusiastic than the other ones.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 02:21:36 pm
If possible, hand cowman my pen and notebook
((can't believe it took me this long to think of trying that))
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 02:24:46 pm
"Okay then. Not the cow thing. Can you try and give me a hint with what you want help with? Point at it, or pantomime it? Actually...I have a pen and notebook in my jacket, can you write?"
If possible, hand cowman my pen and notebook
The busker takes it and spends a few moments drafting up a little message, which it then shows to you. The front page seems to be covered in strange symbols, but you, for some reason, seem to make something out within them - the somewhat familiar silhouettes of Trey and Luz. You can only look at the script for a few moments before you are compelled to turn away, though.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 02:26:23 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 16, 2014, 02:27:28 pm
EDIT: Try to keep myself from doing a little goldminer's dance.
Quickly gather as much gold as I can. I'm certain I could find a discarded bag or box nearby I could put it in.
If all is well, take the gold back to the hotel.
While returning, keep an eye out for any jewelry shops or pawn shops or banks around. (Do I happen to know whether or not banks still accept gold in exchange for money?)
Try not to look too suspicious.
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 02:29:31 pm
"Okay, so I take it that you are, in fact, the person that Mister Lee told me to meet up with? And, if so, how do you wish to proceed from here."
"Moo," the busker says, pointing at you again.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 02:32:17 pm
John says, not knowing what the busker wants. Those kids sure have gotten him into a lot of trouble, this all better be worth it. He sighs.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 02:37:46 pm
"Surely, you can speak common english, yes? We won't get anywhere without proper communication. Please either speak english, dutch, french, japanese or write down what you want to say, my brain is starting to hurt."
In a swift motion, the busker removes your phone from your pocket and places it in your hand.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 02:39:45 pm
If the answer is moo, John calls Lee and passes him the cow-man. If the answer is moo moo, John will call Lee anyway to ask for advice.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 02:43:59 pm
"My phone? Do you want me to call Lee and pass you over?"
Since the busker answers negatively, you call Mr. Lee and ask for advice.
"Mr. Lee? I'm not sure I know what your friend is trying to tell me here. He's trying to get me to use the phone."
"Well, son, I wish I could help you, but I can't say I can make heads or tails of most of what he's getting at when I talk to him. Sorry about that. But he's a good guy. You should listen to him."
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 02:47:17 pm
John ends the call with Lee, and turns to the busker again.
"Okay, baby steps. Do you want me to do something with my phone? Do you want me to hand you the phone? "
If the answer to the second question is Moo, hand him my phone.
((this is a really trippy game of charades))
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 02:49:09 pm
"Okay, baby steps. Do you want me to do something with my phone? Do you want me to hand you the phone? "
Your new friend nods at the first question, shakes its head at the second.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 02:50:40 pm
"Okay, do you want me to call the police? Trey and luz?""Okay, baby steps. Do you want me to do something with my phone? Do you want me to hand you the phone? "
Your new friend nods at the first question, shakes its head at the second.
This must be punishment from Lee, john thought, he must have chosen this particular friend because he knew I wouldn't get anywhere
Post by: Toaster on May 16, 2014, 02:51:36 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 02:52:43 pm
"Okay, do you want me to call the police? Trey and luz?"
The cowman moos a single time at both queries.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 02:54:19 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 02:58:09 pm
"Riiight....So you want me to call both the police and Trey and Luz. Like, call Trey and Luz and ask them where they are, then call the cops and send them over there?"
It moos at the first half, then begins vigorously shake its head when you get to the second part.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 03:01:51 pm
"OKay, so no calling the cops over there. So, we just, go to where Trey and Luz are? Then, why did you want me to call the cops, anyway? Could you write that down? Can you write or speak english? you seem to understand it well enough."
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 03:08:10 pm
((Oh god. This is like that time some German Tourist tried to ask me where the icecubes were.))
"OKay, so no calling the cops over there. So, we just, go to where Trey and Luz are? Then, why did you want me to call the cops, anyway? Could you write that down? Can you write or speak english? you seem to understand it well enough."
The cowman wags its massive finger at you.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 03:10:20 pm
"No, really, what do you want me to do? I mean, I know you can speak english. You clearly said 'I say' earlier. This is just you and mister Lee punishing me, isn't it?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 03:18:20 pm
John let's his arms sag by his sides
"No, really, what do you want me to do? I mean, I know you can speak english. You clearly said 'I say' earlier. This is just you and mister Lee punishing me, isn't it?"
The cowman just stares at you expressionlessly.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 03:22:34 pm
John takes out his phone and dials Luz's number.
"Heya Luz, it's John here. How's it going?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 03:34:30 pm
"Well fine, be that way."
John takes out his phone and dials Luz's number.
"Heya Luz, it's John here. How's it going?"
It takes Luz a while to pick up.
"Oh, hey. Yeah. You woke me up. And you called me earlier. What's up?"
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 03:39:48 pm
"I...I happen to find myself in a bit of pickle. Any chance we could meet up somewhere, with you and Trey?""Well fine, be that way."
John takes out his phone and dials Luz's number.
"Heya Luz, it's John here. How's it going?"
It takes Luz a while to pick up.
"Oh, hey. Yeah. You woke me up. And you called me earlier. What's up?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 03:51:00 pm
"I...I happen to find myself in a bit of pickle. Any chance we could meet up somewhere, with you and Trey?"
"What's the issue?"
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 03:58:48 pm
"I think someone followed me when I left that school. There's people watching my house. I'm sure that I shook them off now, but I obviously can't return home.""I...I happen to find myself in a bit of pickle. Any chance we could meet up somewhere, with you and Trey?"
"What's the issue?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 04:00:45 pm
"I think someone followed me when I left that school. There's people watching my house. I'm sure that I shook them off now, but I obviously can't return home."
"Uh... shit. That's not good. What're you gonna do?"
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 04:05:14 pm
" I was hoping I could crash at your guy's place for a day or two, then either go see if they're still there or just find myself another place. It would be safer if us three were together, after all.""I think someone followed me when I left that school. There's people watching my house. I'm sure that I shook them off now, but I obviously can't return home."
"Uh... shit. That's not good. What're you gonna do?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 04:10:48 pm
" I was hoping I could crash at your guy's place for a day or two, then either go see if they're still there or just find myself another place. It would be safer if us three were together, after all."
"Not... sure that's a good idea. Hang on, let me try something right quick, and I'll call you back, okay?"
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 04:16:32 pm
John lets Luz end the call, and turns towards the mancow.
"Nothing can ever work out like I want it to. Do you think that's some kind of law of the universe, or something?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 16, 2014, 04:22:55 pm
"Allright then."((Well, at least you're not stuck in the dimension of salty dentures with a clown for a head and a pig for a leg, enveloped by the sabotaged ghosts of a great number of old testament angels.))
John lets Luz end the call, and turns towards the mancow.
"Nothing can ever work out like I want it to. Do you think that's some kind of law of the universe, or something?"
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 04:24:56 pm
(( well, of course, there's that. The troubles I find myself in are minor, really. For now. ))"Allright then."((Well, at least you're not stuck in the dimension of salty dentures with a clown for a head and a pig for a leg, enveloped by the sabotaged ghosts of a great number of old testament angels.))
John lets Luz end the call, and turns towards the mancow.
"Nothing can ever work out like I want it to. Do you think that's some kind of law of the universe, or something?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 16, 2014, 04:38:53 pm
"Nothing can ever work out like I want it to. Do you think that's some kind of law of the universe, or something?"
"Very easy to blame the universe, of course. But have you considered that you may simply be making the wrong choices, saying the wrong things and asking the wrong questions, or perhaps not elucidating your questions to the point of usefulness?" the mancow asks, his eyes becoming very clear all of a sudden. This lasts for about three seconds. "Moo," he then says and licks his nose again.
Post by: Pancaek on May 16, 2014, 04:54:17 pm
"I...dad was right, you should never trust bovines. though you might be right, decision making isn't really my strong suit." John sighs "Look at me, I'm getting advice from a mancow...how for must I fall?""Nothing can ever work out like I want it to. Do you think that's some kind of law of the universe, or something?"
"Very easy to blame the universe, of course. But have you considered that you may simply be making the wrong choices, saying the wrong things and asking the wrong questions, or perhaps not elucidating your questions to the point of usefulness?" the mancow asks, his eyes becoming very clear all of a sudden. This lasts for about three seconds. "Moo," he then says and licks his nose again.
]
John puts his hands in his pockets and looks glumly in the distance as he waits for Luz to call back
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 16, 2014, 04:55:35 pm
((Well, at least you're not stuck in the dimension of salty dentures with a clown for a head and a pig for a leg, enveloped by the sabotaged ghosts of a great number of old testament angels.))((I am now being used as a reference for how terrible things are going. I'm not sure if this is a new height or a new low.))
Post by: Toaster on May 16, 2014, 08:47:16 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on May 17, 2014, 04:24:38 am
Post by: Xantalos on May 17, 2014, 04:36:53 am
Spoiler: DUNKD (click to show/hide)
((...so then.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 17, 2014, 06:09:47 am
[Dave's affinity roll: 6-->6-1]
Inspired by his defiance of the status quo, Dave is filled with the holy fire of inspiration, and with a thunderclap lets loose over half of what he's got, all in one serving! For a moment, everything stops - the flow of dentures pauses, the entire dimension goes still, the image of things as they were before the... event... frozen in Dave's vision as his brain seems unable to process the happenings all around him. A dull roar fills his clown, growing louder and louder with every second. His clown begins to half-scream, half-laugh, and the squeals of his pig grow more and more urgent as they seem to realize what is happening. And it all leads up to a single, powerful pop that, despite being as pregnant with meaning as a freshly opened bottle of champagne, is nevertheless a very underwhelming note for Dave to black out on.
...
Dave opens his eyes. He appears to be lying on his back right now atop something very wet and slightly squishy. Several miles above him he can still see dentures, their pink and white bits mixing together, with multicolored, dense clouds and bluish little lights traveling in the sky as well. An interesting smell hits Dave's nostrils as he thinks about what this could mean - the smell of booze. Looking around, he notices even more surprising things. For one, he seems to be lying in a gently bubbling brook of at least 80 proof alcohol, the bed of which seems to be solid brick with embarrassingly shaped underwear sediments lining the top of it. At the edges of the brook he sees a somewhat interesting-looking earthy growth covering what seems to be drier land still composed of underwear, and further away the brook is lined by vast forests of skyscraper-sized, branching hogweeds stretching upward and disappearing into the clouds. Tiny plumes of strangely moving smoke can be seen off in the distance where the hogweed is less thick - black, long pillars somewhat far away appear to be the source.
Dave notices that his pig appears to have woken up some time before him, and currently appears to be lapping up the contents of the creek. No wonder he feels kind of wasted right now.
* * * * *
Larry, after spending a moment waving off any second thoughts, lets the ominous, tuberous chanting of Halesey inspire him as he dramatically opens up his arms and calls out the power of cocaine!
[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->3+1+2]
Halesey chants more and more urgently as Larry begins to sweat and shake, and small whirls of purplish white powder begin to appear in his hands, growing in size with each second to become small cocaine tornados that stretch out toward the sky for a moment before merging, the resultant clash of winds creating a massive blizzard engulfing the entire alleyway and possibly a bit of the street beyond - neither Larry nor Halesey can quite see anything in the storm, so it could very well have engulfed the entire neighborhood and they would be none the wiser, really.
[Larry's body roll: 4-1]
[Halesey's body roll: 3]
Though the two men instinctively hold their breath when the air becomes thick with flurries of magical opiates, they neglect to both close their eyes and shield any sensitive membranes - like it or not, bits of the cocaine fly into their noses, eyes and ears, and all three of those start to feel more than a little hairy all of a sudden, and in addition their eyes start to burn a little, which prompts their immediate closing. Not to mention their faces going more than a little numb in the storm.
* * * * *
Eta attempts to contain her enthusiasm about the way she just conjured shoes made of one of the more precious metals around out of thin air. Responsible adult that she is, she doesn't break into a full-on jig, but nevertheless allows herself a fist pump with a simultaneous, slightly embarrassing kick at the air from the sheer delight. Celebrations concluded, she commences the looting. Fortunately, this being one of the more affluent parts of town, there is a perfectly serviceable canvas bag from an expensive grocery store lying around atop one of the nearby trashcans - Eta shamelessly steals it and gathers seven matching pairs of golden shoes, which is all she can carry at the moment despite there being at least fifty shoes conjured in one go - maybe she needs to get some minions, she reflects. Now that she has infinite gold, she could definitely afford to pay them for at least a few months before the price of gold plummets from market oversaturation.
Unfortunately, just as she has gathered a whole bagful, she notices that quite a crowd appears to have gathered around her while she was busily looting - at least three amazed joggers, a couple of more shady vagrant-looking fellows, and a woman wearing a suit. All six of them appear to be staring at Eta right now in complete silence.
* * * * *
John, after a positively enchanting game of cowman charades and a short communique with Luz, waits for her to call back. It takes about ten minutes for this to happen, during which the cowman doesn't do much of note except fetching his koto and beginning to play a spot of muzak to calm the nerves. When Luz calls back, he immediately stops.
"Okay, so, I checked and I don't think we're being followed. Do you have any idea who might be on to you?" she asks, seeming very worried.
* * * * *
In the slowly brightening streets of the city, a mountain slowly moves not through the power of plate tectonics, but of his own free will, waddling along the sidewalks after a largely sleepless night in search of a place, any place, that is likely to satisfy his persistent craving. He had made good progress in the halfway house on cutting down, but now that he's out that's all gone to shit, he guesses. There's donut shops on every street corner in this town, tempting him with terrifying hints of strawberry-flavored glazing and freshly baked bread. He hasn't got a job, or a proper place to live, or anything like that, just a few suits, about fifty kilos of extra weight and an inescapable urge to treat himself a little. He's got a bit of money, after all.
And so THE DUNKER wanders, still all dressed up from his first day on the proper outside and slightly leaning toward a bit of carefree indulgence.
Post by: Pancaek on May 17, 2014, 06:19:45 am
"I...I don't know. Maybe I was just imagining things. Ever since the school I've just been seeing stuff everywhere. Cou...could we just meet up and talk? I could use to see a friendly face right about now."
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 17, 2014, 06:23:58 am
John tries to sound as tired and worried as he can.
"I...I don't know. Maybe I was just imagining things. Ever since the school I've just been seeing stuff everywhere. Cou...could we just meet up and talk? I could use to see a friendly face right about now."
"What if whatever's following you finds us as well? You sure that's the right thing to do?"
Post by: Pancaek on May 17, 2014, 06:27:43 am
"I'm pretty sure they're just watching my house for now. Or maybe There really isn't anyone at my house, and I'm just freaking out here. I'd just feel better with a second leyliner around, you know?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 17, 2014, 07:39:18 am
John still tries to sound tired, and tries to add a slightly panicky undertone
"I'm pretty sure they're just watching my house for now. Or maybe There really isn't anyone at my house, and I'm just freaking out here. I'd just feel better with a second leyliner around, you know?"
"Hm... how about we meet at, say, Greenblatt Park downtown in about an hour? Me and Trey will screen the place just in case."
Post by: Pancaek on May 17, 2014, 07:44:00 am
"Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks, I mean it."John still tries to sound tired, and tries to add a slightly panicky undertone
"I'm pretty sure they're just watching my house for now. Or maybe There really isn't anyone at my house, and I'm just freaking out here. I'd just feel better with a second leyliner around, you know?"
"Hm... how about we meet at, say, Greenblatt Park downtown in about an hour? Me and Trey will screen the place just in case."
John ends the call, then turns to mancow.
"Allrighty, They'll be at Greenblatt park in about an hour. I don't suppose Lee told you what to do next?"
If mancow doesn't know exactly what Lee had in mind, john calls Lee and tells him about the park appointement, and to ask for advice
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 17, 2014, 07:47:24 am
John ends the call, then turns to mancow.
"Allrighty, They'll be at Greenblatt park in about an hour. I don't suppose Lee told you what to do next?"
The mancow smiles and picks at his nose with his tongue.
Post by: Pancaek on May 17, 2014, 07:54:52 am
John ends the call, then turns to mancow.
"Allrighty, They'll be at Greenblatt park in about an hour. I don't suppose Lee told you what to do next?"
The mancow smiles and picks at his nose with his tongue.
"of course, what did I expect."
John sighs, and dials mister Lee's number once more
"Heya, mister Lee. John here. I got Trey and Luz to meet me at Greenblatt park in a little less than an hour or so. Do you have any advice or anything to say before I go out and meet them." He holds his hand around the reciever and whispers "Also, no offence, but your friend is kinda weird"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 17, 2014, 07:57:27 am
"Heya, mister Lee. John here. I got Trey and Luz to meet me at Greenblatt park in a little less than an hour or so. Do you have any advice or anything to say before I go out and meet them." He holds his hand around the reciever and whispers "Also, no offence, but your friend is kinda weird"
"Better let him take the lead, son. He knows his business."
Post by: BlitzDungeoneer on May 17, 2014, 07:57:50 am
I was bored, and decided there wasn't enough chaos and wanton destruction in my life, particularly with my job.
2. What’s your name?
The Observer. It really doesn't suit me, considering I don't observe much, though,
3. What color do you identify yourself with?
Black.
4. Describe yourself.
I wear this really cool hood-and-robe thing. It's black and red. Underneath, it's a secret. Oh, and I got this nice pointy hat. At least there's one good thing about my job.
5. What do you like/love/enjoy?
Destruction, chaos, unpredictability, action.
6. What do you dislike/hate/fear?
I don't particularly like my coworkers, especially the Diplomat. All he thinks about is solving things peacefully. Tch. I don't fear much, but I really don't like being vulnerable.
7. In terms of occult or obscure power and knowledge, who would you like most to resemble (fictional people included)?
Hmm, that's a good question. I suppose it would be the Rikudo Sennin. He's pretty damn powerful.
Affinity: 3
Body:1
Mind:1
Finesse:1
Post by: Pancaek on May 17, 2014, 08:03:05 am
"Well, I'll have to trust you on that one. Just, before we set out, answer me one question. Does he actually speak english? Because he mostly just moo's to me, but lapsed into some depressingly poignant defination of my character in perfect english of a moment a while back. Is that normal?""Heya, mister Lee. John here. I got Trey and Luz to meet me at Greenblatt park in a little less than an hour or so. Do you have any advice or anything to say before I go out and meet them." He holds his hand around the reciever and whispers "Also, no offence, but your friend is kinda weird"
"Better let him take the lead, son. He knows his business."
After getting Mister Lee's answer, John ends the call. He turns to the mancow
"Allright then. Mister Lee told me to let you take point. So, lead the way."
And john follows mancow's lead
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 17, 2014, 08:09:06 am
"Well, I'll have to trust you on that one. Just, before we set out, answer me one question. Does he actually speak english? Because he mostly just moo's to me, but lapsed into some depressingly poignant defination of my character in perfect english of a moment a while back. Is that normal?"
"Yes," Mr. Lee simply replies and hangs up.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 17, 2014, 08:09:42 am
"Hello gentlemen. How are you all this fine morning?
Would you like to make some easy money? A pair of golden high heels to whoever helps me carry the rest of my gold back to my hotel."
Eta couldn't believe someone could defy social convention and start asking questions or worse steal from her. Not that she would mind loosing some gold. She had potentially infinite gold after all.
I just need to get something to carry it next time...
Post by: Pancaek on May 17, 2014, 08:19:39 am
"All righty then. Shall we go to the park, then?"
Go with mancow to the park to meet Trey and Luz. Let Mancow take the lead.
Spoiler: john (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 17, 2014, 08:27:51 am
"Hello gentlemen. How are you all this fine morning?
Would you like to make some easy money? A pair of golden high heels to whoever helps me carry the rest of my gold back to my hotel."
They don't seem very big on the idea of helping you, and rather suspicious (though what suspicions they have seem to remain unvoiced presently) of the whole thing, really. One of the joggers takes a picture of the golden pile - you're not sure if you've been caught in the frame as well.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 17, 2014, 09:18:04 am
Well, if they're going to be like that...
"Very well then. Goodbye. I suggest you step away from my gold."
Leave. Back to the hotel. Cast a vortex under the gold while leaving if possible. If I can't have it...,
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 17, 2014, 11:27:06 am
Post by: Toaster on May 17, 2014, 12:06:52 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on May 17, 2014, 01:13:22 pm
Stuff bag full of eldritch drugs and leave with Larry. Check the time. Let's hope the absorbed coke wears off before the date.
Post by: Toaster on May 17, 2014, 01:29:58 pm
Post by: Xantalos on May 17, 2014, 01:49:00 pm
But which one was the strongest? He would let his nose decide.
Differentiate between the various smells, and head toward the most interesting one.
Spoiler: DUNKA (click to show/hide)
Post by: darkpaladin109 on May 17, 2014, 01:50:33 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 17, 2014, 01:52:23 pm
((what situation was Myles in last time I posted?))
In the arms of a vinegary man, being given an immodest proposal of some sort! Just search for the name "Myles" and you should find the exact situation.
Post by: darkpaladin109 on May 17, 2014, 02:21:42 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on May 23, 2014, 12:53:34 am
Post by: lawastooshort on May 23, 2014, 02:35:56 am
Post by: Toaster on May 23, 2014, 08:43:48 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 23, 2014, 10:44:19 am
The walk is mostly uneventful and lacking in sights - the streets around this part of town are almost unnaturally bland, with brutalist architecture and mostly absent visible inhabitants. Rather depressing, actually. All this changes, though, as they approach the picturesque, somewhat newly developed neighborhood of Pontiff's Hill - as the name indicates, it is indeed a hill, and a fairly tall one at that, and on the inclined hillside, as it happens, is their destination - Greenblatt Park, though the name is most misleading at this time of year, for the place is almost bare. No leaves, no flowers, even the hedges appear to have lost all of their foliage. All that one can see around here now is a few elderly individuals and a bum or two. Checking his phone, John determines that he only has about five minutes until the meeting time. Also, Trey is already here, and has seen him, judging from the friendly wave to John followed by a suspicious stare at the mancow, then the same sort of stare back at John.
* * * * *
Eta can't say she's terribly happy with the awful way these filthy pedestrians are behaving. "I'd better not be in that picture! she says in a mildly forceful manner. "I'm not afraid to sue," she immediately says afterward, and this seems to catch the attention of the people, who quickly put their phones away.
"Very well then. Goodbye. I suggest you step away from my gold," she tells the group, and one jogger takes a step back as Eta leaves.
[Eta's affinity roll: 3+1]
As she walks out of the alley, she doesn't even look as she makes a complicated hand gesture. The whooshing sound behind her followed by a few gasps and the sound of many metal shoes rolling along the pavement informs her that magic does indeed seem to be cooler if you cast it without looking. Satisfied, she walks back to the hotel, pondering her next move when the fellow at the reception, a giant blond, Nordic man with a noticeable Swedish accent to match asks her several questions out of the blue.
"Who are you? I have not seen before. What is your business here?"
* * * * *
Dave, intrigued by the prospect of fire (like any civilized man, he is naturally a great fan of it), tries to get up from the whiskey creek, and is rather pleased to find that he can still walk very nicely. He has a slight limp from the fact that he has a pig for a leg, but he seems to be dealing with it rather well, all things considered. He trudges along, occasionally slipping on the precarious bed of the creek, though not in an overly inconvenient fashion. It takes him about half an hour before the hogweed around him begins to lessen in size, eventually disappearing altogether, giving way to vast black fields on which great beasts seemingly made of incredibly gaudy underwear currently graze, looking rather content about their lot in life.
The source of the smoke is becoming increasingly clear - massive, black, largely featureless towers seem to be spewing it into the sky in great quantities - now, Dave isn't really the expert on this sort of thing, but he would guess that those are giant chimneys, judging from their oddly regular and edged shape.
* * * * *
Halesey tries to speak and ask Larry about whether creating seemingly infinite cocaine is sound from an economical perspective, but the immediate mouthful of eldritch marching powder this results in is enough to dissuade him from trying very hard to do so. His mouth immediately begins to feel much hairier than before, and he tries to scoop up as much of the good stuff into his bag as possible - sadly, catching stormy wind, even when it is laden with the best kind of snow, is harder than it might seem, especially when blinded by the ambient atmospheric conditions that a storm of eldritch cocaine necessarily entails.
"Gwaargh!" says Larry as he in turn blindly waves a lit lighter in the storm, failing to set anything on fire, even Halesey, rather unexpectedly. The best laid plans of mice and men rarely survive contact with cocaine, and this plan is no different, it seems.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, getting in touch with his primal mammalian sensibilities, decides to give his olfactory sense a proper workout. Raising his nose to the air, he tries to pick out the various scents and determine which happens to be most interesting.
Firstly, there's the scent of deep fried, bready crusts, like the sort you might find on certain types of donuts. Secondly, there's the distinct smell of strawberry glazing, also very nice and wonderful. And for the most discerning of connoisseurs, there is the almost imperceptible smell of sprinkles. Finally there's the smell of coffee. And also the typical urban smell of exhaust fumes with mild fecal undertones. That's hanging in the air as well. Having weighed the alternatives, THE DUNKER steps over to the donut shop and walks in, absorbing the impersonal, yet cozy atmosphere of the almost completely empty establishment. It's rather amazing he hasn't been inside one of these places yet, actually. It feels oddly like home with its warmth, harsh lighting, trace amounts of flies and food, not to mention the smiling, freckled girl in a quaint white uniform wearing quite a lot of metal on her face standing behind the counter, ready to provide him with all the donuts he could possibly desire with her specialized donut-grabbing tongs she makes sure to keep at least one hand on at all times.
"Hey! Welcome to the... uh... donut shop?" she says. "Can I get you anything?"
* * * * *
Myles, having blanked for a moment, resumes conversation as if nothing had happened.
"Well, I believe I signed up with some man already, but it's not like I like the guy, being the rich corporate scum he is. I am not exactly in the mood for a drink right now, however," he tells his vinegar-soaked friend.
"Huh. Well, guess you're no good to me, then, are you?" the man says.
[Vinegar Man vs. Myles: 6+1 vs. 5]
Grabbing Myles in his vinegary mitts in the blink of an eye, the man hurls the confused detective away, causing him to crash rather painfully in an unfortunately placed set of trash cans. The man then turns away and walks off.
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on May 23, 2014, 10:51:25 am
"Okay, so mister Lee said that I should let you lead the way in this, because this is kind of your thing. You up for this?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 23, 2014, 10:54:21 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 23, 2014, 10:58:51 am
John waves back to Trey, trying to seem like he doesn't realize the cow is there. He tries to speak without moving his lips
"Okay, so mister Lee said that I should let you lead the way in this, because this is kind of your thing. You up for this?"
"Certainly!" the mancow says and begins walking toward Trey, who begins to quickly retreat and gesture in a magical fashion. The mancow smiles at this.
Post by: Pancaek on May 23, 2014, 11:06:42 am
"Oh my, this can only go well. YO, TREY, DON'T RUN. THIS GUY DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT, BUT HE ONLY HAS YOUR BEST INTEREST IN MIND. TRUST ME."John waves back to Trey, trying to seem like he doesn't realize the cow is there. He tries to speak without moving his lips
"Okay, so mister Lee said that I should let you lead the way in this, because this is kind of your thing. You up for this?"
"Certainly!" the mancow says and begins walking toward Trey, who begins to quickly retreat and gesture in a magical fashion. The mancow smiles at this.
John follows the mancow's lead, wary of attack from behind or the sides.
Spoiler: john (click to show/hide)
Post by: Xantalos on May 23, 2014, 01:16:25 pm
I need every donut you have. In a big box.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 23, 2014, 01:25:23 pm
Dunker's eyes narrow in on the donuts fragrantly displayed in the display case. His voice becomes hoarse and his eyes involuntarily focus on them as he rasps,
I need every donut you have. In a big box.
"Can do! But first, I'd like you to try a particular one we here have been working on for a while. As a sample, mind you. Totally free," the donut girl says, producing a box with six donuts in it - they seem fairly basic as far as donuts go, to be honest, but they do seem to be free. And they smell kind of decent, though they don't seem like anything to write home about.
Post by: Xantalos on May 23, 2014, 01:35:06 pm
Eat dem donuts. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NpVDwFYDZc)
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 23, 2014, 04:27:40 pm
Eta looked down for half a second to compose herself and then looked back at the man, a wide warm smile across her face.
"Good morning dear sir." Eta began walking towards the man.
"My name is Eta and I am a customer of this fine hotel. I came in last night with my friend."
Eta was searching her pockets for her keyes when she reached the reception.
"I'm staying in room 102." she said and put her keyes on the reception, showing them to the man while still holding onto them firmly.
"Now if there's nothing else..." Eta made a motion to turn away and continue walking so that she could return to her room but moved slowly enough to allow the man to inquire further, if he so desired.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 23, 2014, 04:44:27 pm
Well, that man doesn't seem to be very polite. I bet they aren't getting many customers with that attitude. But, like my mother used to tell me, 'Smile and be polite and you'll put a smile in other people's faces too.'
Eta looked down for half a second to compose herself and then looked back at the man, a wide warm smile across her face.
"Good morning dear sir." Eta began walking towards the man.
"My name is Eta and I am a customer of this fine hotel. I came in last night with my friend."
Eta was searching her pockets for her keyes when she reached the reception.
"I'm staying in room 102." she said and put her keyes on the reception, showing them to the man while still holding onto them firmly.
"Now if there's nothing else..." Eta made a motion to turn away and continue walking so that she could return to her room but moved slowly enough to allow the man to inquire further, if he so desired.
"Oh. Who's your friend?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 23, 2014, 05:02:26 pm
"Oh. Who's your friend?""Lois, my legal adviser. We're in the town for business."
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 24, 2014, 02:21:43 am
"Lois, my legal adviser. We're in the town for business."
"Huh. Don't know her, either. Who let you stay here?"
Post by: lawastooshort on May 24, 2014, 06:58:40 am
Thus did Halesey prepare Larry for Plan B.
Attempt to struggle clear of the cocaine storm using merely physical methods. If this fails, cast Potato Vortex about 10 feet away to suck up all the cocaine.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 24, 2014, 10:53:40 am
"Huh. Don't know her, either. Who let you stay here?""Well, it was a rather thin-looking gentleman. Around his fifties I'd guess. He had a slightly... Middle Eastern look to him, I think? I don't remember that well, it was rather late at the time and I was in a hurry."
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 24, 2014, 11:26:27 am
"Well, it was a rather thin-looking gentleman. Around his fifties I'd guess. He had a slightly... Middle Eastern look to him, I think? I don't remember that well, it was rather late at the time and I was in a hurry."
"Oh. So that's who he talked about. Very unusual," the man says, scratching his head. "As they say, carry on."
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 24, 2014, 11:54:56 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 24, 2014, 12:39:29 pm
"Forgive my curiosity, but is our presence here so unusual? This is a hotel, after all. Isn't it?."
"Unusual, yes. We have different clients usually," the man says and looks at the door that the previous reception guy looked at last night. In the process you notice that he seems to have a swastika tattooed on the right side of his neck, which you consider for a moment before he turns back to look at you. "Not women most of the time. And we know all of them. You I don't know. This is unusual, yes?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 24, 2014, 01:14:43 pm
"Indeed it is. Well, have no fear good sir, depending on how expediently we can conclude our business in town, we might be gone before nightfall."
Eta made a motion to turn around but then reconsidered.
"Speaking of which, you wouldn't happen to know of any jewlery workshops around here, would you? Any of them working with gold?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 24, 2014, 01:23:42 pm
Ahh, it seems that fellow is a firm believer in Hinduism. It's so nice to see how tolerant and multicultural our society has become these days, when one can openly display their beliefs without fear of repercussion. Maybe they have some sort of religious congregation here? Probably why they don't get many customers they don't know, I'd assume.
"Indeed it is. Well, have no fear good sir, depending on how expediently we can conclude our business in town, we might be gone before nightfall."
Eta made a motion to turn around but then reconsidered.
"Speaking of which, you wouldn't happen to know of any jewlery workshops around here, would you? Any of them working with gold?"
"No workshops around here, no. Downtown is a bad place to look. They rip you off. I know. Why are you looking? Want golden trinkets?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 24, 2014, 01:51:50 pm
"No workshops around here, no. Downtown is a bad place to look. They rip you off. I know. Why are you looking? Want golden trinkets?""On the contrary, I'm looking to sell. You see, I made a good deal with a certain individual so that I would be provided with gold at very affordable prices. I heard from a friend that I could make good money selling that gold in this wonderful city. So I brought some samples to show to any potential customers. Would you be interested in taking a look?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 24, 2014, 01:56:25 pm
"On the contrary, I'm looking to sell. You see, I made a good deal with a certain individual so that I would be provided with gold at very affordable prices. I heard from a friend that I could make good money selling that gold in this wonderful city. So I brought some samples to show to any potential customers. Would you be interested in taking a look?"
"You have gold? Show me, yes?" the man says, growing more interested.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 24, 2014, 02:46:20 pm
"You have gold? Show me, yes?" the man says, growing more interested.((Oh dear, I have a feeling I should had made my character less naive.))
"Of course, just wait a few seconds if you would be so kind..." said Eta as she began rummaging through her newly procured bag of golden high heels.
"Now, remember, these are only the first samples. They aren't quite perfect."
Eta retrieved the most pristine pair of high heels she could find and laid them on the reception table.
"Golden high heels. I'm hoping I can manage to market them as some sort of new fashion for rich people and, well, if that fails, I can always sell them for raw materials. So, what do you think?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 24, 2014, 02:56:00 pm
"Of course, just wait a few seconds if you would be so kind..." said Eta as she began rummaging through her newly procured bag of golden high heels.
"Now, remember, these are only the first samples. They aren't quite perfect."
Eta retrieved the most pristine pair of high heels she could find and laid them on the reception table.
"Golden high heels. I'm hoping I can manage to market them as some sort of new fashion for rich people and, well, if that fails, I can always sell them for raw materials. So, what do you think?"
The man is very surprised by the look of the things, it seems, and takes a moment to put his thoughts into words.
"That is... very silly," he manages after a moment, grabbing a single shoe and lifting it in his hand, then smelling it, then squeezing it, slightly deforming the tip. "They feel like gold. I am sure. Heavy as expected. Why make shoes of gold? Makes no sense. Must be very tiresome to wear. And uncomfortable. Did you buy these from someone?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 24, 2014, 03:15:24 pm
The man is very surprised by the look of the things, it seems, and takes a moment to put his thoughts into words."Yes, a rather... odd fellow. You would excuse me if I were unwilling to divulge further about his identity, it's a.. how would one call it? A trade secret, I suppose.
"That is... very silly," he manages after a moment, grabbing a single shoe and lifting it in his hand, then smelling it, then squeezing it, slightly deforming the tip. "They feel like gold. I am sure. Heavy as expected. Why make shoes of gold? Makes no sense. Must be very tiresome to wear. And uncomfortable. Did you buy these from someone?"
Anyway, he gave me the strangest story about their origin, not quite believable. But he has a large quantity of the things and he's selling them to me at a very low price, so I can't quite complain, now can I?" Eta said with a small laugh.
"Nevertheless, there are all sorts of people buying useless things, so I might be able to find some jewelery store that can be persuaded to buy them. Maybe as decorations or an art statement? Who knows? Rich people can do some crazy things. And , like I said, if that fails, they can always melt them."
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 24, 2014, 03:22:59 pm
"Yes, a rather... odd fellow. You would excuse me if I were unwilling to divulge further about his identity, it's a.. how would one call it? A trade secret, I suppose.
Anyway, he gave me the strangest story about their origin, not quite believable. But he has a large quantity of the things and he's selling them to me at a very low price, so I can't quite complain, now can I?" Eta said with a small laugh.
"Nevertheless, there are all sorts of people buying useless things, so I might be able to find some jewelery store that can be persuaded to buy them. Maybe as decorations or an art statement? Who knows? Rich people can do some crazy things. And , like I said, if that fails, they can always melt them."
"Hm. I know someone who can help. Little Tay. He lives here. I can take you to him, yes?" the man says after a moment of examining one of the shoes again.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 24, 2014, 03:30:03 pm
"I thank you for your kindness, good sir. If you would be so kind as to do that, it would save me a lot of time and effort. Your offer of help is much appreciated. And I don't even know your name.
Would you be willing to take me there now?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 24, 2014, 03:41:47 pm
"Why certainly." Eta said and smiled, trying to contain her joy once more. What luck that I would run into such a gentleman! This morning is turning out great! And if it's true what they say about what a good morning indicates about the rest of the day...
"I thank you for your kindness, good sir. If you would be so kind as to do that, it would save me a lot of time and effort. Your offer of help is much appreciated. And I don't even know your name.
Would you be willing to take me there now?"
"Bart. And yes. Follow me," the man says, and beckons you to follow as he starts walking to stairwell.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 24, 2014, 04:01:51 pm
[Dave's affinity roll: 2-1+1]
Sadly, the chimneys are well-versed in the ways of provocation, and fail to rise to Dave's ridiculously obvious baiting, thus proving themselves to be the better man from the get go, at least to themselves. Dave, naturally, is having none of it and tries to refine his approach, switching to inappropriate comments about the chimneys' parentage.
[Dave's affinity roll: 5-1+1]
His clown gets into that particular spirit with remarkable ease, utilizing its happy-go-lucky facade to perform a terrifying sneak attack laden with insults so ear-withering that Dave becomes increasingly glad with each second that he was only partially privy to the terrifying thought processes that must have gone into their concoction a few moments previously. He wonders if his clown would kiss its mother with that mouth, to be honest. It seems to be working excellently, though, with the clown's words attaining a most disturbing character, shifting out of the limited language of all mortals to explore the intricacies of eldritch tongues that only chimneys could possibly understand. When the clown starts to foam at the mouth and its words slowly pass beyond Dave's audible frequency range, the chimneys seem to have had enough! Their smoke, already having intensified in the past few moments, begins to billow out in massive quantities as they begin to swing around wildly, looking for something, anything to take out their rage on. Flapping this way and that, Dave notices one of the larger chimneys plow through a flock of black, shapeless creatures, causing several to drop out of the air, softly collapsing into clouds of black dust as they hit the ground. One of the chimneys, driven to intense, animalistic acts of violence by the barrage of unintelligible words, starts to flip out, slamming into a few of its nearby companions before said companions, almost equally enraged, all simultaneously push back, toppling the poor fixture and causing it to fall and smash into pieces against the black ground.
The underwear animals all around him take note of this development, and swiftly begin to retreat from the area, much to the displeasure of a particular figure, a large, flapping pair of pink and red bloomers with little black fuzzy tentacles protruding from its surface currently flying about, waving what looks like a very strange fibrous staff at the various livestock.
"Calm yourselves, beasts! Get back into formation!" it shouts in a very shocked tone, circling around the animals and trying to funnel them into a single direction.
* * * * *
John tries to defuse the admittedly volatile situation to the best of his ability.
"Oh my, this can only go well. YO, TREY, DON'T RUN. THIS GUY DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT, BUT HE ONLY HAS YOUR BEST INTEREST IN MIND. TRUST ME!" he shouts in his Brazilian plumber voice, which gives Trey a moment's pause, enough for the mancow to get a word in edgewise.
"CEASE YOUR EVASIVE DANCING, WHELP! IT WILL NOT SAVE YOUR CRAVEN SOUL!" it screams at Trey, its laborer's shade flying off as its horns suddenly grow and branch out, its jaws expand and its throat swells, its head all the while retaining the general shape of a cow's, or perhaps a moose's? The boundaries are slightly bleeding together.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Trey screams back, his eyes darting to John, who can only offer a weak shrug as the mancow rips off its robe, revealing a rather ripped, vaguely humanoid body with six additional arms, smaller than its original pair, folding out from various unpredictable, asymmetrical locations, and a large, pulsing udder bulging on the lower part of its abdomen. John is struck by the idea that he may have been using the wrong gender pronoun for this creature all along immediately after his mind begins to process all this.
"Your reckoning is at hand, foul terror of the mortal world!" the cow says, its voice amplified fivefold by the transformation it appears to be undergoing. A koala in the tree next to the visibly shaken Trey begins to shriek, provoking John's interest. What's that doing here?
[Trey's affinity roll: 2]
Trey tries to respond with a spell, but the cow begins to cackle wildly, the almost bare ground of the park beginning to twist and bubble, the air growing increasingly moist, a black fog beginning to rise from the ground. John finds all this very impressive, obviously, but he can't help feeling a little strange when the fog begins to adhere to his body, crawling up his clothes and sucking up all the heat from his body as it does so.
"What the fuck do you-" Trey half-yelps out as the fog begins to visibly pull at him. He responds by forcefully ripping out of it and climbing up the tree, whereupon he begins to make his way to the top branch. John stares at the way the teenager scrambles up the branches with quite a bit of ease, leaving a whole lot of yellowish handprints on the bark, and also at the manner in which the cow simply strides up to the tree and touches it with a single hooflike finger. The tree, much to the displeasure of Trey and the koala right next to him on the treetop, begins to bend and tie itself into knots, quite the impressive sight. And as John wonders whether he should do something about all this, he suddenly realizes that he can taste something rather awful. Looking down, he notices that the fog seems to have reached his mouth. And as he begins to struggle, the whole substance exerts a powerful pull, and John disappears into the ground, deprived of a resolution to the situation he was so keenly observing moments ago, his ears filling with a female voice screaming monotonously, interrupted by disjointed pauses every few moments as everything goes black.
A few minutes pass, the screaming pausing noticeably for about half a minute somewhere along the middle of that time period, and John feels something finally take shape beneath him - ground! Very smooth ground, in fact, judging from the way his feet seem to be sliding on it as he tries to adjust his posture. The next thing he becomes aware of is a set of chairs, and then quite a few people in them as well. Well, "people" might be stretching it a little, to be honest. Mostly they seem to be cowmen. They look to be very similar in build and dress to the cowman John has already met, and each one seemed to be staring upward. As John contemplates looking up, he notices Trey materialize on a chair to his right, and a koala to his left.
"... what just happened there?" Trey asks, evidently still processing the events of the previous moments. "Where are we?"
The koala responds with a tiny, dissatisfied sound, and Trey's eyes widen. "Well. That's... good to know," he says, before turning his head to the left and noticing John, much to his surprise. "Wait, you're here too? What the hell?"
* * * * *
THE DUNKER is pleased by the way the donut shops around these parts appear to have adopted standard dealer practices. It's high time the business evolved in this direction, given how what they're selling is basically some of the purest dopamine rushes you can legally get, at least for men of his caliber and distinction.
"Sure, why not," he says, and enacts his standard strategy, which is to shove as many donuts down his own throat as he possibly can, biting each donut in half two to three times before swallowing, which his well-trained esophagus musculature is perfectly capable of handling with only a modicum of indigestion. As THE DUNKER eats, the girl claps her hands together, rubbing the palms against one another excitedly. THE DUNKER wonders why that might be for a few moments before the taste of the donuts, well masked by the man's eating habits up to this point, hit him as his esophagus starts to back up with delicious half-chewed pastries. And when that happens, he is suddenly launched into heaven. Rather literally, in fact, in that his surroundings melt away around him, giving way to an interesting sort of darkness.
[THE DUNKER's mind roll: 4]
The darkness, not content to be merely enjoyed by a mortal, immediately parts as a small, pinkish ray of light shines at THE DUNKER, who, having seen movies about this sort of thing, immediately twists out of the way rather than risk laser-assisted dismemberment. When a second, greenish ray tries the same thing, the man is equally prepared, and dodges that as well, putting himself in an awkward position that lasts for but a moment before the quickest, largest beam of all, bright red in color, puts a stop to his wacky cat burglar hijinks by shining through his hand, and, oddly enough, refracts visibly, shining right into his eyes and filling the poor fellow with thoughts and ideas he had scarcely considered before, such as three-story bagel sandwiches and black, forbidden arts of magic!
Spoiler: THE DUNKER'S Spell Choice (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Halesey, suddenly struck by the idea that maybe standing smack-dab in the middle of a cocaine blizzard is not exactly the soundest of strategies, prepares to fling himself out of the danger zone. "Harglebargle! Grnnfff! Potatnggggle! Fnffff! Vort-arggggh!" he growls and sputters, then starts making his way outward, getting clear of the alley and out of the way of the nasty cocaine draft, feeling incredibly relieved when he inhales and doesn't receive a most inadvisable dose of opiates straight to the bloodstream.
He is less pleased to discover that Larry isn't out yet, and that his hands appear... abnormal, to say the least, which he can tell even with his slightly impaired sight, with tiny folds of skin distending from his numb hands in a manner resembling little tentacles that appear to be moving of their own volition.
Post by: Pancaek on May 24, 2014, 04:08:23 pm
"Holy shit, did you see what that thing turned into?! I'm glad it didn't do that while it grabbed a hold of me earlier today. What the hell happened? What did the koala say?"
Post by: Xantalos on May 24, 2014, 04:23:59 pm
The DUNKER was rather disappointed at the lack of donut magic, but if he had the pick, he'd pick.
[color=555555]WALL OF SCANDALOUS LOTTERY TICKETS
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 24, 2014, 04:43:43 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 24, 2014, 05:43:38 pm
"Right behind you, Bart."
Follow Bart. How much would I say a golden high heel weights?
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 25, 2014, 04:01:53 am
John, breathing heavy in his panic, thinks that maybe this isn't wasn't the best idea after all.
"Holy shit, did you see what that thing turned into?! I'm glad it didn't do that while it grabbed a hold of me earlier today. What the hell happened? What did the koala say?"
"She said we're... not in the world we used to be in."
~That I did.~
"And that we're in deep shit, pretty much. What the fuck happened back there, man? Who was that? Why'd you lead it to us?"
The cows simultaneously turn their heads to look at you, Trey and the koala.
((Just the one, right?))
The DUNKER was rather disappointed at the lack of donut magic, but if he had the pick, he'd pick.
[color=555555]WALL OF SCANDALOUS LOTTERY TICKETS
Having chosen your spell, you find yourself back in front of the counter. The girl is still looking at you, smiling genially.
"From the look of you, I'm guessing something happened there, didn't it?" she asks.
((Note - don't forget to post an updated sheet with the spell.))
"Um... Hey guy. Sorry about my clown. It kind of has a mind of it's own."
The pair of bloomers pauses in its chase to look at you.
"Aagh! Aliens!" it shouts, then joins its flock in fleeing.
((I was checking gold prices and it turns out gold is very expensive. I'm kinda unsure about how much money I should ask for. Assuming they don't try to kill me.))
"Right behind you, Bart."
Follow Bart. How much would I say a golden high heel weights?
You follow Bart into the stairwell, considering how much one of your golden shoes weighs - you're not really sure, but you think it should be a considerable amount. After all, you can't carry all that many, though you can't say if that's a very reliable estimate, since you're hardly used to lugging loads of more than, say, a kilo and a half around.
Once you're up to the second floor, Bart leads you silently to Room 211, and knocks on the door. A few minutes pass, and he knocks again. There is the sound of rustling from within, and a small, long-haired Asian man in a wifebeater and boxers opens the door, his unkempt, wrinkled face drowsily curled up in on itself.
"What?" he asks in a deep voice.
"This woman has goods," Bart says, and the fellow, who you assume to be Little Tay, raises an eyebrow, looking at you for a moment. Bart responds by showing him a golden shoe. Little Tay grunts, looking at Bart skeptically, then takes the shoe, looking it over in his hands, hefting it around for a bit and taking in the texture of the material. Finally, he bites down on it in a way that makes you cringe instinctively. His teeth leave a significant print in the shoe. After pausing a moment, Tay quickly retrieves a penny from a nearby pair of pants, and scratches the shoe with it. It leaves a mark.
"This is gold," Tay says after blinking a few times.
"So it is," Bart says, and a moment of silence ensues.
"Where is it from?"
"She knows a guy."
"Ah," Tay says and looks at you. "How many does this guy have?"
Post by: Xantalos on May 25, 2014, 04:23:51 am
Spoiler: DUNKA (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on May 25, 2014, 04:30:16 am
"Allright, no more lies. So, when we split up after the school thing, I headed home yeah? I went to bed and called Lee in the morning, told him that I got you two to safety and that our business was done. He kept grilling me about 'if they're home safe, then why haven't I had a call from their parents?'. So I told him you kinda hated him and probably just didn't want to talk to him. He didn't buy that, and asked what we actually did. I just said that we went to your old school to pick up something that belonged to you. He didn't buy that either. So then I said we just ran into a little trouble with the school guard, but nothing much. Didn't fucking buy that either. So then in my desperation to get th eold man off my back I just told him what happened. Then he says he was dissapointed in me and hangs up.
He said that in the tone that implied I could expect fucking magical assassins coming for my ass in the next 24 hours. So I called him back to talk things out, and he said I could make it right if I just convinced you and Luz to go home. Told me to meet a friend of his who could help with that. That would be the cow demon, though he sure a shit didn't look like that when I met him.
John hunches over, his face in his hands.
"Jesus fucking christ on a pogo stick, all I wanted to do was come here, put up a show for mancow and convince you to go home for at least a little while so that old guy would get off of my back. And now I'm in another world...maybe dead."
John looks towards the cows, face a mask of anger.
"And what the fuck are you lot staring at? Never seen a failure before?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 25, 2014, 05:23:40 am
Those donuts were hallucinogenic. Mind you, not the most hallucinogenic donuts I've ever eaten, that honor goes to the Great LSDonut of old Harkinson, but still pretty potent. Almost had me believing that I could shoot scandalous lottery tickets everywhere.
"Huh. That's pretty interesting. What exactly did you see?"
John sighs and rubs his eyes, then looks at Trey
"Allright, no more lies. So, when we split up after the school thing, I headed home yeah? I went to bed and called Lee in the morning, told him that I got you two to safety and that our business was done. He kept grilling me about 'if they're home safe, then why haven't I had a call from their parents?'. So I told him you kinda hated him and probably just didn't want to talk to him. He didn't buy that, and asked what we actually did. I just said that we went to your old school to pick up something that belonged to you. He didn't buy that either. So then I said we just ran into a little trouble with the school guard, but nothing much. Didn't fucking buy that either. So then in my desperation to get th eold man off my back I just told him what happened. Then he says he was dissapointed in me and hangs up.
He said that in the tone that implied I could expect fucking magical assassins coming for my ass in the next 24 hours. So I called him back to talk things out, and he said I could make it right if I just convinced you and Luz to go home. Told me to meet a friend of his who could help with that. That would be the cow demon, though he sure a shit didn't look like that when I met him.
John hunches over, his face in his hands.
"Jesus fucking christ on a pogo stick, all I wanted to do was come here, put up a show for mancow and convince you to go home for at least a little while so that old guy would get off of my back. And now I'm in another world...maybe dead."
"So you sold us out and it came back to bite you in the ass. Karma, huh?" Trey sneers at you.
~I... don't think we're dead.~
"Well, that's great. That only leaves the problem of us being in a presumably inescapable hell. Easy peasy."
John looks towards the cows, face a mask of anger.
"And what the fuck are you lot staring at? Never seen a failure before?"
The cowmen, nine in total, simultaneously moo, the sound echoing in a chilling manner across the vast, sweeping valleys that appear to have formed around the group. As the echoes hang in the air, theyall speak in unison.
"Identify the killers! Find the criminals! Punish the transgressors!" they say, and then collapse in their chairs, their heads bowing down as they seem to all lose consciousness simultaneously. John becomes aware of a large, serrated knife in his lap, and the fact that Trey and the koala seem to have received the same thing as well.
Post by: Xantalos on May 25, 2014, 05:27:53 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 25, 2014, 05:32:34 am
A dark void and various colours of lasers trying to hit me. I dodged the first two and then this big red one hit me and gave me an idea for a magic spell or something can I have those donuts now.
"Have... one, okay?" the girl says, handing you a single one of the donuts with her tongs.
Post by: Xantalos on May 25, 2014, 05:34:32 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 25, 2014, 05:40:16 am
Why only one?
"Because I wanna see what happens. And also because I haven't baked enough of these to last for very long if you're gonna stuff them down your throat like that."
Post by: Pancaek on May 25, 2014, 05:41:30 am
John puts the knife in his right hand, taking out his snub nosed revolver with his left and stand up from his chair.
"And what the hell, Trey? Sold you out? You saw what kind of friends Lee has, right? Do you think I had a choice?
Now, let's just try and get out of here first. Do any of you have any friggin' idea wat those cows meant? And where is Luz, anyway?"
Post by: Xantalos on May 25, 2014, 05:47:40 am
Eatify donut!
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 25, 2014, 07:18:30 am
"Enough." said Eta, deciding it best to be as vague as possible.
"Not sure how much exactly, but it should last for some time."
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 25, 2014, 09:01:17 am
"What? What? The hell is this? Is this some kind of thunderdome thing?"
John puts the knife in his right hand, taking out his snub nosed revolver with his left and stand up from his chair.
"And what the hell, Trey? Sold you out? You saw what kind of friends Lee has, right? Do you think I had a choice?
Now, let's just try and get out of here first. Do any of you have any friggin' idea wat those cows meant? And where is Luz, anyway?"
"Firstly, Mr. Lee's ain't got shit when compared to us. Secondly, I have absolutely no clue what's going on. And thirdly, Luz is a koala right now. Don't question it."
~Guilty as charged.~
I wish they didn't have to abuse the heels like that. I know they're probably going to melt them anyway, but it feels wrong to see such craftsmanship destroyed. Well, not craftsmanship exactly, since they weren't created by man, at least not directly... Magicship?
"Enough." said Eta, deciding it best to be as vague as possible.
"Not sure how much exactly, but it should last for some time."
"What output? At shoes per week?" Tay asks.
Post by: Pancaek on May 25, 2014, 09:28:21 am
He then paces back and forth, gesutring with the knife as he speaks.
"No idea where we are...And you keep saying Lee isn't stronger than us, but he was able to get demon cow of doom to meet me not even an hour after I called him. Obviously, even if he isn't strong himself, he has some pretty dangerous connections.
Now then. Did you any of you two kill someone? Transgress somewhere? Because the only thing I can imagine having done is break into that school."
He walks up to the one of the cows.
"Yo, my bovine brother, what did you mean by punish?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 25, 2014, 09:28:42 am
Eta liked having a simple yet adventurous life and money tend to get in the way of that, or so she believed.
Would that be a good thing to say?
"I'm really not sure, I came here thinking I would have a hard time finding someone to buy them, so quantity wasn't really a concern for me at the time." Eta looked down trying to look calm and deep in thought and moved her fingers to give the illusion that she was counting something.
That sounded believable, right? Oh, wait, I have to tell them a number, otherwise they might think there's something wrong going on here. I'm supposed to have bought this gold.
"I... assume I could procure a bag a week?"
But what if that's too little? What if they want more. Uunghhh...
"Although!" exclaimed Eta, making sure she could speak before the others had a chance to respond and say they're not interested "With a bit of extra effort and some persuading on my part, I could maybe bring you many times that, yes. How much would you require for your business?"
Silly Eta, you should had started with that question!
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 25, 2014, 10:07:04 am
"Ah, well, the new look...suits you" John says, somewhat unsure what exactly would be an appropriate comment in this situation.
He then paces back and forth, gesutring with the knife as he speaks.
"No idea where we are...And you keep saying Lee isn't stronger than us, but he was able to get demon cow of doom to meet me not even an hour after I called him. Obviously, even if he isn't strong himself, he has some pretty dangerous connections.
Now then. Did you any of you two kill someone? Transgress somewhere? Because the only thing I can imagine having done is break into that school."
"Nothing in particular, no."
~I don't think we're supposed to punish the killers. After all, we've got the nasty knives. Maybe we're the killers?~
He walks up to the one of the cows.
"Yo, my bovine brother, what did you mean by punish?"
The cows do not respond, being apparently unconscious. Your knife begins to vibrate near them, however.
Errm, how many? I hadn't really thought of that. I could theoretically create vast quantities of gold during that time, but even if I could sell it all, I really don't need all that money.
Eta liked having a simple yet adventurous life and money tend to get in the way of that, or so she believed.
Would that be a good thing to say?
"I'm really not sure, I came here thinking I would have a hard time finding someone to buy them, so quantity wasn't really a concern for me at the time." Eta looked down trying to look calm and deep in thought and moved her fingers to give the illusion that she was counting something.
That sounded believable, right? Oh, wait, I have to tell them a number, otherwise they might think there's something wrong going on here. I'm supposed to have bought this gold.
"I... assume I could procure a bag a week?"
But what if that's too little? What if they want more. Uunghhh...
"Although!" exclaimed Eta, making sure she could speak before the others had a chance to respond and say they're not interested "With a bit of extra effort and some persuading on my part, I could maybe bring you many times that, yes. How much would you require for your business?"
Silly Eta, you should had started with that question!
"Any amount. More is better. Can you keep these coming?"
Post by: Pancaek on May 25, 2014, 10:29:35 am
John says, as he walks along the line of cowmen, checking if his knife vibrates when close to each one of them
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 25, 2014, 11:12:09 am
"Any amount. More is better. Can you keep these coming?""Certainly. As long as nothing unfortunate happens to me or my supplier. And as long as I keep getting something in return, of course. I need to make a living and right now I've invested most of my savings in this project, you see."
I sure hope I can keep track of all those lies I'm saying. I don't like this. But what is the alternative? Tell them "it's magic, a wizard did it"?
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 25, 2014, 11:39:54 am
"Hey, this knife begins to vibrate when close this cowdude. Maybe we're supposed to punish them? I mean, they wouldn't give us the knives if we had to punish ourselves, right? Do your knives vibrate as well?"
John says, as he walks along the line of cowmen, checking if his knife vibrates when close to each one of them
Approaching the cowmen, Trey confirms that he seems to encounter the same thing. Luz does the same (confirming to you that watching a koala carrying a knife is indeed slightly terrifying as well as very cute), and offers further confirmation.
"Certainly. As long as nothing unfortunate happens to me or my supplier. And as long as I keep getting something in return, of course. I need to make a living and right now I've invested most of my savings in this project, you see."
I sure hope I can keep track of all those lies I'm saying. I don't like this. But what is the alternative? Tell them "it's magic, a wizard did it"?
"How's two grand per pair sound?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 25, 2014, 11:49:38 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 25, 2014, 12:37:32 pm
"How rude! I come here looking for help and this is what I get? Crazy chimneys and underwear people?"
The bloomer creature just keeps flying off and shrieking.
Post by: Pancaek on May 25, 2014, 12:41:44 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 25, 2014, 12:43:46 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 25, 2014, 04:30:08 pm
"How's two grand per pair sound?""It sounds excellent!" for something I have paid absolutely nothing to receive!
Eta showered Bart and Little Tay with questions in her excitement.
"Would you be willing to buy some right now? I could use some money for a meeting of a more... personal nature I have planned later today."
"Oh and would you like to sign some sort of agreement? My legal advisor is downstairs, I could get her right now and we could draft some sort of contract in an expedient manner."
"Oh, and could I perhaps gain accomodation to this hotel free of charge as part of that deal? Or are you not in a position to make that offer? It would be nice to have permanent accommodation in this city and I have really taken a liking to this place."
"This is so great! I can't believe I managed to find a buyer so quickly!"
Eta said the last part more to herself than the two men.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 26, 2014, 05:31:55 am
Eerl, re-are oo ave oore hhock repleted, sayeth DUNKER, already with the donut in his mouth.
Eatify donut!
You eat the donut, and this time pause to taste it a little.
[Your mind roll: 5]
You find that it tastes rather good! And also that whatever back alley hallucinogens are in this thing, they seem to be good enough to get into your bloodstream from your mouth. Your tongue becomes completely numb as you begin chewing, and your eyes slowly roll into the back of your head as your entire body begins to shake. And then, rather predictably, things go dark once more, and you find yourself in a dark void, completely weightless and thus without any real repercussions (in the mechanical sense, anyway) from your morbid obesity. Brimming with immense gladness, you immediately demonstrate your newfound spryness and spin away from a scintillating orange laser beam, then twist in place to avoid being hit by a light green ray of light. And for your next trick, you go ahead and do something seemingly impossible - contorting your body like an annelid, you launch yourself away, avoiding a massive aquamarine light shining in your general direction. Regaling in your triumph, you float on through the ancient darkness and take a careful look around before the entire area is bathed in golden light in an impossible to dodge manner - blinded by the light, you squeak and flail, your mind filling with miscellanea of arcane power!
Spoiler: THE DUNKER's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
"So, what do you reckon we should do? Stab the cows?"
Trey approaches one of the cows.
"They... do look pretty stabbable as far as cows go. How about you do it and me and Luz will go stand off to the side a bit?"
Try and sense for a leyline or something.
You're pretty sure you sense some kind of energy coming from both above and below you!
"It sounds excellent!" for something I have paid absolutely nothing to receive!
Eta showered Bart and Little Tay with questions in her excitement.
"Would you be willing to buy some right now? I could use some money for a meeting of a more... personal nature I have planned later today."
"Oh and would you like to sign some sort of agreement? My legal advisor is downstairs, I could get her right now and we could draft some sort of contract in an expedient manner."
"Oh, and could I perhaps gain accomodation to this hotel free of charge as part of that deal? Or are you not in a position to make that offer? It would be nice to have permanent accommodation in this city and I have really taken a liking to this place."
"This is so great! I can't believe I managed to find a buyer so quickly!"
Eta said the last part more to herself than the two men.
"Bring me fifteen pairs this afternoon. I'll be in the back room behind reception with the money. If you got the goods, we'll be good," Little Tay says. "Even better if you stay here for free."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 26, 2014, 05:35:53 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 26, 2014, 05:36:32 am
((Different energies?))
You're not entirely sure.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 26, 2014, 05:55:29 am
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 26, 2014, 05:59:17 am
"Excellent! I can do that. I've got about 7 pairs right now with me, although I'm certain I could get some more by then if I hurry.
We'll talk in the afternoon then. Unless there's something else you wish to discuss?"
What would I say the definition of afternoon is in this society? Because I've heard it being used for almost every time after 12 o'clock.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 26, 2014, 06:14:07 am
"Excellent! I can do that. I've got about 7 pairs right now with me, although I'm certain I could get some more by then if I hurry.
We'll talk in the afternoon then. Unless there's something else you wish to discuss?"
"No, we're good. Be seeing you," Little Tay says and shuts the door.
"That went good," Bart observes and begins to head off.
What would I say the definition of afternoon is in this society? Because I've heard it being used for almost every time after 12 o'clock.
Afternoon is a very nonspecific thing, to be honest. Pretty much the closest thing you've got is that it is indeed sometime after noon and before six PM or so.
Post by: Pancaek on May 26, 2014, 06:26:05 am
Stab one of the cowmen once. If no horrifying stuff happens, stab him until he's good and dead.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 26, 2014, 06:29:06 am
After getting an answer, if Bart doesn't want to talk more, go back to my room and check on Lois. Has she woken up yet?
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 26, 2014, 06:45:16 am
"Indeed." said Eta and began heading downstairs, to room 102. "Thank you, once again. I guess we'll be seeing each other more often now that I'll have permanent accommodation here. Do you always man the reception in the morning?"
"No. Only sometimes."
Post by: lawastooshort on May 26, 2014, 06:56:11 am
"So, Larry, you know somewhere we can sell this stuff then? You got your bag full yet? I think my bag's full."
Check my bag is full.
"Dude, my hands have little octopuses all over them."
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 26, 2014, 06:57:33 am
Check my bag is full.
The bag is mostly empty, unfortunately.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 26, 2014, 07:02:57 am
Post by: Xantalos on May 26, 2014, 02:01:10 pm
Invoke Divine Canned Goods!
Spoiler: DUNKA (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on May 27, 2014, 09:15:14 am
Get out of the storm, filling bag on the way. Didn't Halesey leave thatwayish?
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 27, 2014, 12:58:22 pm
[Dave's affinity roll: 1-->4-1+1]
However, try as he might, the power of distracting underwear is as objectively far from being under his control as it can be, and it's all he can do to prevent himself from performing a lewd thrust at the heavens that insist on refusing him this most basic of rights.
* * * * *
John agrees to murder for the sake of experiment, providing yet another victory for subtle peer pressure in humanity's storied history. "Yeah, I suppose that's fair. I got you into this mess after all," he says.
"Glad you see it that way, buddy," Trey says, picking up Luz and running back to his chair as John lifts his knife above his head ritualistically for a second, but then reconsiders and orients his hand in more of a back alley shanking sort of manner before thrusting the blade into the unsuspecting flesh of the unconscious cowman. The knife vibrates violently as John tries to pull it out, as does the cowman with it, and John can mutter but the briefest of curses before the stabbed cowman spontaneously detonates, coating John in hot, bright pink viscera and also simultaneously blasting him into the air, his flailing form flying off in an arc that is abruptly terminated when he miraculously lands in his chair right next to Trey and Luz, who seem to have returned to their spots as well.
The cows promptly begin to wake up, possibly roused by the sudden explosion. The sight of their exploded friend seems to disturb them to no end.
"Someone's been murdered! Oh, the humanity!" they shout in unison. "Who could have done such a horrible thing? What sinister soul could be responsible?" they continue, looking around the area, their eyes resting on the still-steaming John for a moment before regarding the others as well. "We cannot rest until the killer is punished! But who could it be?"
Suddenly, the ground opens wide, and out comes a strangely chitinous cow with thirteen glowing eyes and six limbs, each holding a glowing, wicked instrument of righteous justice. "I sense death! What has happened?" it asks, turning to face the exploded remains of the stabbed mancow. "Ah. I suspect foul play at work here. Could the killer be... among us?" it continues after a brief examination, then glances knowingly at one of the cowmen, who begins to visibly sweat as the creature does so.
"Don't look at me, sir! I would have done it, yes, but I could not! I was busy washing my hair!" the cowman says, evidently nervous.
"Plausible! But is it plausible enough?" the creature, evidently a police inspector of some kind, says, glancing at Trey, John and Luz.
* * * * *
Eta, after getting an answer from Bart and also the impression that he isn't really the sort who might appreciate a little chat, walks back to her room to check on Lois.
Lois, for her part, seems to be somewhat asleep, though probably not very deeply so. She currently seems to be experiencing the sort of half-sleep one engages in on a free Sunday morning after waking up for the very first time. Quite a blissful sort of sleep, if one can afford the time for it.
* * * * *
Halesey, paying no mind to his cocaine hands, goes and tries to catch the winds of the cocaine blizzard once more. This time, now that he can sort of see what's going on, he actually is able to obtain a bit of that hippest of opiates. Not a lot, mind you, but he's not sure one can sell large amounts of cocaine in the space of an hour in any case, so he guesses he should count his blessings, really.
Larry, meanwhile, slowly becomes aware that Halesey's had a better idea than hanging out in the center of a blinding storm of dangerous narcotics, and strives to emulate his partner. Having a rough idea of the path he needs to take to get out, Larry spins around violently, his bag filling with the stuff as he pirouettes out of the storm, eventually jumping past Halesey and getting clear of the area. Examining his gains, he notices several things. For one, he can't see very well right now, and his eyes feel rather wonky. Furthermore, his hands look equally weird in addition to being very much numb, with about two fingers too many and a whole lot of bones too few. Also, he's not positive on whether it's normal that he can touch both the bridge of his nose and the tip of his chin with his lips.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, having a very good feeling about this thing he's about to try, focuses his measurable amounts of willpower, imagining pickled donuts in cans, truly the best kind of donuts one could possibly have.
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 1-->2+1]
As a bead of sweat appears on his forehead and veins begin to pulse around his temple, THE DUNKER suddenly becomes aware of a can on the ground next to him. It appears to be visibly bulging around the top, and has a pull tab. It appears to contain herrings, judging from the packaging and the way looking at it makes DUNKER's mind hurt a little more with each letter he tries to perceive.
Post by: Toaster on May 27, 2014, 01:03:38 pm
Get out of there!
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 27, 2014, 01:21:31 pm
AGAIN!
Post by: Pancaek on May 27, 2014, 01:21:40 pm
"Inspectocow, I'd like to point out that cows do not truly have hair to wash. The hairs on their body aren't long enough, and they have horns on their head instead. A clear contradiction of this cow's testimony."
He then looks over at Trey, hoping for some kind of input or backup
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 27, 2014, 01:33:21 pm
John lets the knife hang limply at his side.
"Inspectocow, I'd like to point out that cows do not truly have hair to wash. The hairs on their body aren't long enough, and they have horns on their head instead. A clear contradiction of this cow's testimony."
He then looks over at Trey, hoping for some kind of input or backup
"Oh? So we got a forensics expert here, then? What do you need me around for then? Hah!" the inspectocow says, its laugh deeply unsettling. "Well then, smart guy, what do you suggest happened?"
"Don't listen to him, sir! He's a-" the suspicious cowman begins, but doesn't get far in his excuses before the inspectocow cuts him off.
"Silence, perpetrator, or I will extract a confession from you right here, gods as my witnesses!" it snarls back at the innocent bovine.
Post by: Xantalos on May 27, 2014, 01:40:59 pm
HERRING?! Indignation!
Look away from the can in a huff and check to see if I'm still in a black void.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 27, 2014, 01:44:21 pm
A vein bulges in his forehead.
HERRING?! Indignation!
Look away from the can in a huff and check to see if I'm still in a black void.
Oh, right. Forgot to mention that. Once you've chosen a spell, you may freely assume you're back in reality.
Post by: Toaster on May 27, 2014, 01:45:15 pm
Post by: Xantalos on May 27, 2014, 01:46:13 pm
DUNKER looks at the lady.
Nice tang in that one! Got any more?
Post by: Pancaek on May 27, 2014, 01:52:17 pm
John says. He casts a glance at Trey and Luz, hoping for some backup
Post by: lawastooshort on May 27, 2014, 02:53:09 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 27, 2014, 02:54:27 pm
Did I happen to see any open stores while I was out? If yes, go out and buy a good breakfast for Lois, maybe something like cold chocolate milk and cupkakes I could heat in an oven. Then prepare the breakfast
If no, then simply prepare breakfast with the food I have in the room.
Bring Lois breakfast in bed. Gently nudge her awake.
"Good morning. Had a nice night's sleep?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 27, 2014, 03:10:50 pm
Ah, okay.
DUNKER looks at the lady.
Nice tang in that one! Got any more?
"Well, okay. You can have one more, but then you have to do something for me," the girl says, handing you yet another of the donuts.
"Oh no, sir, I'm not a forensics expert at all. I merely hoped to spare you the tedium of pointing out the glaring inconsistency of that ma- cow's testimony. It must have been something wicked, though, seeing as the victim seems to have exploded as a result."
John says. He casts a glance at Trey and Luz, hoping for some backup
"We got us a Watsonian type here, eh? I'll have you know I don't take kindly to you expository types! It assumes far too little intelligence from my peers!"
"Damn right!"
"You shut up over there! I... wait, what's that sound I hear? Hm..." the inspectocow wonders for a moment, nodding to itself. "Ah! Hm! That does indeed make sense, mission control!"
It turns to a random mancow who hasn't spoken on its own yet.
"You there! You're being awfully quiet, no? Quite suspicious, methinks!"
"Well, my mother taught me that if you don't have anything incriminating to say, you might as well not talk at all, sir!"
"A wise woman, your mother. Carry on, citizen!" the inspectocow says, then looks around for somebody else to persecute, settling on a different mancow. "And you! What have you to say for yourself?"
"Same thing as the last one, sir."
"Hm. This is getting us nowhere! Time to step up my detective work! How about you all just point at whoever you think did it, and I'll draw conclusions from there?"
Most of the cowmen immediately point at John, while Trey and Luz point at the hairwashing individual.
"Well now, MR. WATSON, what have you got to say for yourself? Spot some contradictions in the blinding glare of righteous justice, mayhap?" the inspectocow says smugly, all of its thirteen eyes filled with glowing derision.
Did I happen to see any open stores while I was out? If yes, go out and buy a good breakfast for Lois, maybe something like cold chocolate milk and cupkakes I could heat in an oven. Then prepare the breakfast
If no, then simply prepare breakfast with the food I have in the room.
The kitchen equipment of Room 102 is pretty much a minifridge and a minibar, just so you know. So all you've got to prepare breakfast with are your hands, pretty much.
Post by: Xantalos on May 27, 2014, 03:13:48 pm
Post by: Pancaek on May 27, 2014, 04:31:31 pm
They're all guilty."
John nods, and closes his eyes in concentration
"You see, they must have all committed the crime together and then chosen one of us non cows as the scapegoat. The reason why they chose one of us is simple. They couldn't take on of their ranks, because then the group cohesion would fall away and the scapegaot would ruin the entire plan to save his own skin. Pointing out to one of us was the best solution, as we are part of the 'outside' group. They are probably hoping you are a speciest who would blindly take the word of the cows over that of a human. Possibly this is to cover up an even larger crime, one that the victim was about to confess.
You will, of course, notice that my two non-cow companions are pointing to only one cow, this is because he must be the actual murderer, while the others simply stood by and let it happen.
he nods once more, opens his eyes and looks at inspecto-cow
"Ergo, from the overwhelming evidence, it seems this is one big murder conspiracy set up to rid themselves of the victim and make you look stupid by having you arrest the wrong person. What's the punishment for the murderer and the punishment for the accesories, by the way?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 27, 2014, 06:01:06 pm
Oh, I had forgotten about that.Did I happen to see any open stores while I was out? If yes, go out and buy a good breakfast for Lois, maybe something like cold chocolate milk and cupkakes I could heat in an oven. Then prepare the breakfast
If no, then simply prepare breakfast with the food I have in the room.
The kitchen equipment of Room 102 is pretty much a minifridge and a minibar, just so you know. So all you've got to prepare breakfast with are your hands, pretty much.
How about some croissants, those can be eaten cold.
Or just give her those carrots I had for breakfast if I can't find anything.
Eating a carrot while asking her how she is like a cartoon bunny won't seem very weird to someone who's been around this world for less than a day.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 28, 2014, 11:09:50 am
Firstly, Halesey's snazzy suit is now absolutely slathered with cocaine, as is Larry's decidedly more casual outfit. Secondly, Larry's lips seem to have grown to roughly four times their previous size and twenty times their previous length. He can split them apart vertically now, to boot! Halesey seems to have a similar problem, with his cheeks having become purplish, veiny flaps with what look like intestinal villi making disturbing patterns on his entire face and hands. Larry also is no slouch in the dermatitis department, though his reaction to the cocaine seems to have made him slightly more lumpy and pulsating than his friend.
The conclusion is clear - they're a bunch of freakshows, and the slight cocaine high that distracted them from this revelation appears to have worn off already despite it having been only fifteen minutes or so. Halesey checks his watch and realizes that he only has about an hour or so before he should be at Chez Ronardo's for his date, an event that seems decreasingly likely to go in anything approaching his favor. On the other hand, between Halesey and his friend there seems to be about half a kilo of monster coke gathered, so who knows what the next hour may bring?
* * * * *
Dave is getting the feeling that magic isn't quite getting the message he's trying to send it. Perhaps alternate methods of capitalization will help?
"i will beaT you! you caNNoT DeNy me my birThrighT! bow beFore my will! RAISE ME DISTURBING UNDERGARMENTS!" he screams drunkenly, trying to invoke the powers of the storm.
[Dave's affinity roll: 5-1+1]
It appears that magic does indeed appreciate radical capitalization, and flurries of underwear begin to erupt from the mouth of Dave's clown, twisting and whirling around him in all the colors of the rainbow, each pair more provocative than the last, all moving in a single powerful updraft! Dave feels himself get lifted off his feet and thrown upwards! Trouble is, a series of intermittent throws is all it is, and the storm does have quite a limited range. So he's not exactly up in the sky yet! But he's pretty high up, though. Enough that a spot of latent acrophobia in him seems to be asking him if being this high up is the best of ideas, really.
* * * * *
Eta, guessing she needs to make sure Lois has a good start in life, tries to remember if there are any shops open at this hour she could get, say, some croissants from, and remembers one in particular that might aid her - a bakery of some kind she passed on the way, located on a streetcorner not too far off from the hotel. Stepping in, she finds it almost empty but for a girl with a copious amount of facial piercings who must be the salesperson, judging from the uniform, behind the counter and a rather fat individual in a suit who appears to be snacking on a donut right in front of said counter.
Little does she know that this is no ordinary fat man in a suit, but THE DUNKER himself! And he is currently in the process of ascending to donut heaven by, sensibly enough, eating some donuts.
[THE DUNKER's mind roll: 4+1]
And as Eta watches the fat man seemingly seize for a moment from sheer delight, she is most unaware that said fat man is busy dodging the most colorful and flashy of lasers in his mind! Quite successfully for a man of his girth, it should be noted, but nevertheless ultimately without permanent success, which would be saddening if it were not for the way the god from the donuts seems pleased with that result as well.
Spoiler: THE DUNKER's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
And suddenly, just as Eta is becoming transfixed by the completely oblivious visage of the fat man, he jolts back to reality, looking very pink in the face suddenly. The girl, who seems to have been carefully watching him, looks rather pleased.
"So yeah, now that that's been proved to work, I-" she begins, but then notices her new customer. "Oh! Uh, hello, lady. Can I interest you in anything? A magnificent donut, maybe?" she asks of Eta, her tone suddenly changing.
* * * * *
John, knowing that it's all or nothing here, puts on his face of maximum boldness.
"You will of course, notice, that all of them immediately pointed at me. A non-cow. This can only mean one thing, really," he says, pausing for dramatic effect. "They're all guilty."
"Shock! Shock and indignation!" the other cows begin to clamor, but the inspectocow silences them with threats of violence. John merely nods and closes his eyes in a way he's seen geniuses on TV do sometimes.
"You see, they must have all committed the crime together and then chosen one of us non-cows as the scapegoat. The reason why they chose one of us is simple. They couldn't take on of their ranks, because then the group cohesion would fall away and the scapegoat would ruin the entire plan to save his own skin. Pointing out to one of us was the best solution, as we are part of the 'outside' group. They are probably hoping you are a speciest who would blindly take the word of the cows over that of a human. Possibly this is to cover up an even larger crime, one that the victim was about to confess. You will, of course, notice that my two non-cow companions are pointing to only one cow, this is because he must be the actual murderer, while the others simply stood by and let it happen," he explains, then opens his eyes and looks earnestly at the grand inquisitor before him. "Ergo, from the overwhelming evidence, it seems this is one big murder conspiracy set up to rid themselves of the victim and make you look stupid by having you arrest the wrong person. What's the punishment for the murderer and the punishment for the accessories, by the way?"
The inspectocow seems to think on this a few moments.
"You present a compelling case, Mr. Watson! But there is the matter of you being coated in the hot viscera of the victim, the ground having a rough shadow of you where the viscera was stopped from exploding by your presence, and the fact that your knife is stained with the blood of the victim. Good try, though! To the brig with you!" the inspectocow says, and the other mancows cheer as John is suddenly pulled into the chair he is currently sitting in, disappearing from sight before Trey can manage as much as an "Oh shi-"
Moments pass, and he is equally suddenly spit out on what feels like a wooden floor - opening his eyes seems to confirm this impression. Expecting the worst, John looks up, and spots something possibly expected - a square-rigged mast with two additional sails tied to it, and behind him seems to be one more mast with an additional sail. Quite the authentic-looking sailboat he seems to have found himself on, apart from the fact that the masts look somewhat spotty and covered in fuzz, and that there seems to be a grassy patch on deck with a long-necked cow grazing on it a few steps away. The place is absolutely littered with nets and rope, and there appears to be a ladder leading below decks. Beyond the deck one can see... nothing at all. Not even darkness. Just... nothing. It's very strange to look upon, really.
Post by: Toaster on May 28, 2014, 11:14:31 am
Bag up what I can. Burn the rest.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 28, 2014, 11:33:05 am
...
Well, that man certainly seems to be enjoying it. So why not?
"Good morning dear. A doughnut does sound wonderful. Would you be so kind as to give me a few to go?"
Post by: Xantalos on May 28, 2014, 11:39:38 am
DUNKER sighs in contentment, unintentionally letting out a Breath of Poisonous Underwear!
Spoiler: The DUNKER (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 28, 2014, 11:54:58 am
I don't think I've ever tried doughnuts for breakfast... Would something with that much sugar be good for breakfast?
...
Well, that man certainly seems to be enjoying it. So why not?
"Good morning dear. A doughnut does sound wonderful. Would you be so kind as to give me a few to go?"
"How about I give you one to try right here? Free sample, like."
Post by: Pancaek on May 28, 2014, 12:57:29 pm
John looks over at the grazin cow
"I don't suppose you can speak as well?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 28, 2014, 01:45:59 pm
"Whelp, gave it a shot at least. I hope Trey and Luz are doing fine, though."
John looks over at the grazin cow
"I don't suppose you can speak as well?"
"I suppose you don't," the cow replies.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 28, 2014, 03:19:44 pm
"How about I give you one to try right here? Free sample, like."Well, I guess a doughnut wouldn't hurt...
Wouldn't it? Tea and cupkakes aren't exactly the best for your figure. And you want to add doughnuts to that?
Yes, but it wouldn't be polite to refuse.
Would it be polite to dawdle here when you have work to do and people to meet? To leave Lois without a nice breakfast? A nice First breakfast, might I add?
But I really want to try the doughnut... Maybe just a little bite?
"Oh, I really shouldn't. I just ate and my friend is waiting for me you see. We're kinda in a hurry." said Eta, making an apologetic gesture.
I really hope she doesn't insist. If she insists then I'll probable cave and give it a try.
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 28, 2014, 05:00:53 pm
Post by: Pancaek on May 28, 2014, 06:11:09 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 29, 2014, 02:53:40 am
"Oh, I really shouldn't. I just ate and my friend is waiting for me you see. We're kinda in a hurry." said Eta, making an apologetic gesture.
"How about this: I give you a free sample, and you get 25% off any other pastry of your choice?" the salesgirl asks.
Sense for the energy again.
You sense... nothing, pretty much.
"I'm sorry, I meant no offence. I've been having trouble recognizing what can and cannot speak lately. Pray tell, what is this place? It looks like a ship, but I don't think that's quite what it is"
"'This be the brig' is the official version. Feel free to form your own opinions, however."
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 29, 2014, 03:29:56 am
Just eat the damn doughnut so that we can get back to business!
But why would she insist so much in me eating it? It's not like I don't want to buy doughnuts, so she isn't doing it because she wants to sell more. Maybe it's poisoned or something? Maybe she wants to steal my gold? Better be careful.
"I... suppose there's no harm in trying. What's in it?"
Take doughnut. Inspect doughnut. If neither doughnut nor salesperson's answer is suspicious, have a small bite. If I don't sense any poison or other nasty stuff, eat the rest of the doughnut.
Post by: Xantalos on May 29, 2014, 03:35:37 am
I really don't need the discount you know. I have probably infinite money.
Just eat the damn doughnut so that we can get back to business!
But why would she insist so much in me eating it? It's not like I don't want to buy doughnuts, so she isn't doing it because she wants to sell more. Maybe it's poisoned or something? Maybe she wants to steal my gold? Better be careful.
"I... suppose there's no harm in trying. What's in it?"
Take doughnut. Inspect doughnut. If neither doughnut nor salesperson's answer is suspicious, have a small bite. If I don't sense any poison or other nasty stuff, eat the rest of the doughnut.
That was a good one!Whoops
DUNKER sighs in contentment, unintentionally letting out a Breath of Poisonous Underwear!Spoiler: The DUNKER (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 29, 2014, 03:37:58 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 29, 2014, 03:58:38 am
Whoops((Indeed. Hope Eta is not poisoned. A possibly-known terrorist like her can't go to a hospital.
Too bad I can't use OOC knowledge to get the hell out of here.
I'm perfectly happy with my current spells and I certainly do not need poisonous underwear.))
Post by: Pancaek on May 29, 2014, 06:50:16 am
Ask! then take a peek down below deck.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 29, 2014, 02:34:20 pm
"Pbbbbbbbbffff! Juff bbag up whaff ooo cannf and bbbburn the reft!" he burbles enthusiastically, but doesn't get the feeling that Halesey has understood him. Just as well - all his cocaine is already in a bag, and he has no smaller ones to put it in. And burning all he's got just seems so counterproductive - after all, half a kilo of coke is nothing to scoff at - that's, like, 500 grams. Loads of cash you could get for that! That is, if anyone was willing to buy their cocaine from shady villi-faced individuals and mindflayers who talk like they're from a Saturday morning cartoon, which is a question in and of itself.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER feels fulfilled for now, the white light of quality pastries soothing his restless soul for a moment as the two ladies next to him converse about donuts, providing a very nice backdrop to the fat man's very much audible digestive processes.
"That was a good one!" he observes to nobody in particular, and lets off a massive sigh, virtually all of his inhibitions suddenly fading away in a single second of relaxation of every muscle in his body. Unfortunately, strange and slightly disturbing noises emanating from his flesh are but the beginning of it!
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 2+1]
What follows these noises is a monstrous burp-cough normally reserved for particularly grievous esophagogastroduodenosocopies, a single pair of odd-looking underwear shooting out of DUNKER's maw at the donut girl just as she hands Eta one of the sample donuts. It softly lands on the side of her head, and the girl pauses for a moment, possibly considering what to do right now. She quickly decides in favor of retrieving the underwear with the tongs and throwing it in a nearby corner before turning back toward Eta, who seems to have paused in her examination of the donut and asking of any questions to silently gawk at the way the fat man appears to have somehow vomited up a pair of briefs.
* * * * *
Dave, figuring that the energy of the sky is perhaps best left untapped, tries to carefully descend through the storm.
[Dave's finesse roll: 3-1]
Unfortunately, the underwear storm is still keeping him in the air, throwing him this way and that on occasion and the pants-streams shift in the chaotic mass.
* * * * *
John asks the cow another question, a most pertinent one indeed!
"So, why are you here, if I may ask? Is there a way out?"
"I'm the cap'n, and yes," the cow says as John steps over to the ladder leading downward into the dark recesses of the ship. A very strong smell of dung emanates from within the darkness, and John gets the feeling striking a light to get a better look wouldn't be the best idea. "That's not one of them, though. Feel free to step down and look, fella. You might be here a while," it adds as John regards the forbidding depths.
Post by: Pancaek on May 29, 2014, 02:41:32 pm
"Right, yeah, I'll explore that place in a bit. So, captain, sir. I have two questions for you. The most important one: There were two people who were with me when the inspector cow send me here. What happened to them, are they allright?
And then, quite less importantly, could you explain the purpose of me being here and the ways out, please?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 29, 2014, 02:45:48 pm
John recoils a bit at the smell and heads back to the upper deck.
"Right, yeah, I'll explore that place in a bit. So, captain, sir. I have two questions for you. The most important one: There were two people who were with me when the inspector cow send me here. What happened to them, are they allright?
And then, quite less importantly, could you explain the purpose of me being here and the ways out, please?"
"Dunno, forgot, and jump over the railing."
Post by: Xantalos on May 29, 2014, 02:51:47 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on May 29, 2014, 03:29:46 pm
"Pbbbbbbbbffff" said Larry, unused to the poor state of his lips. "Juff bbag up whaff ooo cannf and bbbburn the reft!" he burbled insistently at Halesey.
"Fbagg up? Fbaggg uppfff? You bffffffftrdddddd my fffffffkin suith ruined! You bffffffftrdd, mnnng, I wath gonna fcore! Now lthhhh! Now lthh ath me! Artheholeth! An juth whaff the fthk am I meant to bbburn the reft withhh? Tthick it up yr bollockth!"
Bag up what I can, wondering just how the hell I am meant to burn any cocaine without a lighter, and try very forcefully to remember if I had a spare suit back in the flat.
((edit: I have, what, an hour to become un-eldritch-faced, and -handed, or my date is not going to go well. Plus I have some quest or something from the god of potatoes, and that hasn't gone well so far either, I'm so full of cocaine I can't even remember what it is. Now, I have a soulcoin or something, should I spend it to impress this girl? Or the God of Potato? Or just forget the wimmin, and get serious with my quest. Hmm.))
Post by: Nunzillor on May 29, 2014, 04:13:57 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 29, 2014, 05:13:02 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 29, 2014, 06:21:36 pm
Well that was unexpected.Eta stared at the man for a few moments in surprise.
Well, it's not like I haven't seen strange things.
"...please tell me that wasn't something you ate?"
Post by: Toaster on May 29, 2014, 06:30:05 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on May 29, 2014, 09:09:51 pm
Edit: especially for waitlisters!
Post by: Toaster on May 29, 2014, 09:30:26 pm
Post by: Nunzillor on May 29, 2014, 09:39:26 pm
Post by: Xantalos on May 29, 2014, 11:29:45 pm
No, I ate several hallucinogenic donuts that this nice lady gave to me.Well that was unexpected.Eta stared at the man for a few moments in surprise.
Well, it's not like I haven't seen strange things.
"...please tell me that wasn't something you ate?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 30, 2014, 05:47:22 am
Eta slowly set the doughnut down.No, I ate several hallucinogenic donuts that this nice lady gave to me.Well that was unexpected.Eta stared at the man for a few moments in surprise.
Well, it's not like I haven't seen strange things.
"...please tell me that wasn't something you ate?"
"...oookayyy... So you ate hallucinogenic doughnuts that filled your throat with underwear?" she asked slowly, like talking to a crazy person or wild animal, trying to understand what's going on and how quickly she should run out of there.
Post by: Xantalos on May 30, 2014, 05:50:00 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 30, 2014, 06:10:51 am
Well, a donut that makes you have a vision of dodging lasers and then gives you magical powers may or may not be hallucinogenic. Pretty good donuts, too.Yep, he's clearly insane.
... or is he? It's not like matchboxes that give you magical powers are all that normal either.
"So it's like a challenge... And if you do well, you gain magic?"
Yeah, that definitely sounds familiar.
Post by: Xantalos on May 30, 2014, 06:16:17 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 30, 2014, 07:46:18 am
It more seemed like the pink voice was amused at my dodging abilities, but yes. Are you going to eat that?"Not really, I just ate a healthy carrot-filled breakfast. I just wanted the doughnut for a friend. And I already have all the magic I need, sooo" Eta turned to face the shopkeeper with a mildly angry look "why, exactly, are you doing this?"
If I intimidate her, I could perhaps learn more about this "magic" thing...
Talk to the shopkeeper to extract information! Surely nothing wrong can happen with a bit of interrogating!
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 30, 2014, 09:28:36 am
"Not really, I just ate a healthy carrot-filled breakfast. I just wanted the doughnut for a friend. And I already have all the magic I need, sooo" Eta turned to face the shopkeeper with a mildly angry look "why, exactly, are you doing this?"
The girl, who has been watching the back-and-forth attentively, smiles at you.
"Mostly because I wanted to know if lacing donuts with evoked cocaine would make them more appealing. But turns out they start to do something else entirely. Pretty wild, gotta say. Wizard science high-five?" she says, raising her palm triumphantly.
Post by: Pancaek on May 30, 2014, 10:05:44 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 30, 2014, 10:07:33 am
"Right. So, what, exactly, would happen when I jump over the railing? And what's belowdeck?"
"Haven't the faintest on both counts."
Post by: Pancaek on May 30, 2014, 10:09:49 am
Head belowdeck. Use Cellphone to generate light and look around
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 30, 2014, 11:58:11 am
((High-fiving should be discouraged among wizards. The one raising his/her palm might be mistaken for someone trying to summon a vortex.))"Not really, I just ate a healthy carrot-filled breakfast. I just wanted the doughnut for a friend. And I already have all the magic I need, sooo" Eta turned to face the shopkeeper with a mildly angry look "why, exactly, are you doing this?"
The girl, who has been watching the back-and-forth attentively, smiles at you.
"Mostly because I wanted to know if lacing donuts with evoked cocaine would make them more appealing. But turns out they start to do something else entirely. Pretty wild, gotta say. Wizard science high-five?" she says, raising her palm triumphantly.
Eta looked at the girl for a few moments.
I am NOT going to high-five a strange girl I just met that endangered her clients with illegal drugs. That will only encourage her to do this more.
Still, she did give me some good info...
Eta very weakly returned the high five.
"That doesn't sound like a very good idea. I mean, sure, that soda company does it but I heard they're evil or something like that.
I don't think it's right to go around drugging people like that. Someone might get hurt or turned into a monster or something.
I mean, look at that poor man. His enormous size, his dull eyes, his lust for doughnuts, coughing underwear..."
"But what you said is interesting. I have been researching this 'magical activity' ever since I learned about it and you're the first to provide me with some answers...
Would you be willing to compare notes? A... magical researcher cooperation of sorts?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 30, 2014, 12:09:37 pm
Eta very weakly returned the high five.
"That doesn't sound like a very good idea. I mean, sure, that soda company does it but I heard they're evil or something like that.
I don't think it's right to go around drugging people like that. Someone might get hurt or turned into a monster or something.
I mean, look at that poor man. His enormous size, his dull eyes, his lust for doughnuts, coughing underwear..."
"But what you said is interesting. I have been researching this 'magical activity' ever since I learned about it and you're the first to provide me with some answers...
Would you be willing to compare notes? A... magical researcher cooperation of sorts?"
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about the coke. It's just trace amounts. Well, mostly trace amounts. Nothing too dangerous. I figure if it didn't kill my new friend here, it's pretty much safe. So yeah. Anyway, who showed you magic?"
Post by: Xantalos on May 30, 2014, 01:03:39 pm
Use lady's distractedness as an opportunity to eat more donuts. Even the ones in the case if I can get them.
Spoiler: Slam DUNK (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 30, 2014, 02:56:58 pm
"Fbagg up? Fbaggg uppfff? You bffffffftrdddddd my fffffffkin suith ruined! You bffffffftrdd, mnnng, I wath gonna fcore! Now lthhhh! Now lthh ath me! Artheholeth! An juth whaff the fthk am I meant to bbburn the reft withhh? Tthick it up yr bollockth!" he says, and his friend Larry takes the advice to heart, buggering off to thtick it up hth bollockth elsewhere while Halesey reflects sadly on the fact that he has no other suits whatsoever.
Halfway through his buggering off, Larry suddenly realizes what he meant by burning the rest, and the revelation is nothing short of earthshaking. Wandering back over to the still-raging cocaine blizzard, he takes out his trusty lighter and attempts to set fire to the cocaine flurries, only to discover that the white powder is about as flammable as real snow. Probably all that slimy eldritch quality, he'd wager. And just as he is about to bet money on this hypothesis, the cocaine stops midair in a most jarring manner, falling to the ground and kicking up quite a bit of itself in the process. Larry takes a step back, unwilling to discover what further side effects snorting this crap may bring, and silently wonders if this doesn't mean he can now bag up all of this stuff - there have to be five kilos here at the very least, after all. Would probably fit in his bag, no less!
What's more, Halesey, while still pretty pissed and incredibly ugly off from the looks of it, appears to have followed him! Feeling a bit optimistic about this spot of good luck, Larry leads the way in the bagging, and soon the two guys have scooped up pretty much all of the coke in the alley, and there's about as much as one might have predicted!
* * * * *
Dave, being the wonderful man of many talents he is, turns his attention to the rewarding subject of amateur meteorology, and tries to summon up another storm to see if it'll fix things right up.
[Dave's affinity roll: 4+1-1]
Suddenly, the storm beneath him grows thicker as more underwear begins to storm down below! As a result, the updraft, slightly altered by the new flow of underpants introduced into the mix, grows weaker, causing Dave to begin to slowly descend into the increasingly impenetrable mire of his own creation. After a few moments, his feet touch the ground, or at least what feels very much like ground. The richness of the underwear storm makes it a little hard to check these things thoroughly.
* * * * *
John, after thanking the cap'n for his generous help, heads below decks, using his cellphone to illuminate the darkened depths and find his way. He promptly discovers that the first room he descends into seems to be filled with refrigerators of many shapes and sizes, as well as a copious amount of rugs with the occasional coffee table here and there, and strange paintings leering at him from the dark corners of the room. The smell of dung hangs heavy on the air, and though it doesn't seem to have any apparent source, John is quick to guess that it is most likely to be coming from one of the many doorways lining the walls.
One thought that hits John after a moment of appreciating the strangeness of the room is that it seems very spacious for being on the inside of a ship - whatever thoughts were going through the designer's head, practicality and ergonomic principles were obviously not among them.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, noticing that the ladies, as ladies often do, seem to be busy with magical gossip, takes the opportunity to try and sneak a donut while nobody's looking.
[THE DUNKER's finesse roll: 4-1]
[Donut Girl's mind roll: 6-->1]
Before he can even move, the donut girl pauses in conversation, giving him a very unpleasant stare that makes the man unwillingly take a small waddle backward.
"Bring in some more people to try the donuts, and you can have more yourself. Agreed?" she offers, looking a lot sterner than before.
Post by: Toaster on May 30, 2014, 03:00:02 pm
Larry looks rather pleased, as best can be told with the swelling.
"Fffo who do ffell thiff ffit to?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 30, 2014, 03:08:35 pm
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about the coke. It's just trace amounts. Well, mostly trace amounts. Nothing too dangerous. I figure if it didn't kill my new friend here, it's pretty much safe. So yeah. Anyway, who showed you magic?"That's not very reassuring... Or very responsible.
"A man threw a meteor through my apartment. When I went to ask him what happened, he gave me this Matchbox as compensation."
Eta showed her the Matchbox.
"You put matches in it and it turns them magical after some time. Look into the match's flame and you get magic, simple as that."
Not the whole truth but close enough.
"So, what's your story? How'd you gain magic?
And if it's not too nosey of me, are you simply sending that man to get you customers as an advertiser or..."
Post by: Xantalos on May 30, 2014, 03:16:32 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 30, 2014, 03:20:46 pm
That's not very reassuring... Or very responsible.
"A man threw a meteor through my apartment. When I went to ask him what happened, he gave me this Matchbox as compensation."
Eta showed her the Matchbox.
"You put matches in it and it turns them magical after some time. Look into the match and you get magic, simple as that."
Not the whole truth but close enough.
"Which guy was it? Corporate type? Wholesome shop guy? Total neckbeard? Or maybe someone else?"
"So, what's your story? How'd you gain magic?
And if it's not too nosey of me, are you simply sending that man to get you customers as an advertiser or..."
"Found it, pretty much. On my own. And I'm letting him take the initiative on that second part."
I brought her in! With, uh, with my mind powers that first donut gave me.
"Bring in another one and then you can have a donut. Bring in two, you get two plus one free, m'kay?" the girl tells you slowly.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 30, 2014, 03:23:07 pm
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 30, 2014, 03:24:39 pm
When in doubt MOAR MAGICKS!
Random magicks or specific ones?
Post by: Xantalos on May 30, 2014, 03:36:08 pm
DUNKER heads outside.
*ahem* HEY EVERYONE IN EARSHOT! FREE LOTTERY TICKETS IF YOU COME INTO THIS DONUT SHOP!
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 30, 2014, 03:53:39 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on May 30, 2014, 04:09:24 pm
Follow Larry. En route, attempt to phone Chez Ronardos, explain that I had a date with the hot woman who talks in pink at 8pm, and ask them to explain to her that I'm really sorry but I am at the hospital following a severe beating and I can't bear to fathe her in thithe thtate. I'm very sorry, please don't think badly of me.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 30, 2014, 10:02:40 pm
"It was umm..."
Is it really a good idea to share information with that girl? What if she doesn't like what she hears? What if they're rivals? Oh, wait, I know how to find that out!
"You don't have any problems with those guys, right? You aren't mortal enemies or anything similarly Shakespearian? Because really, I don't know the man, but I don't want to get him into trouble or offend you in any way.
Or have I completely misunderstood you and you all work together?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 31, 2014, 02:41:59 am
Found it? Now THAT's interesting!
"It was umm..."
Is it really a good idea to share information with that girl? What if she doesn't like what she hears? What if they're rivals? Oh, wait, I know how to find that out!
"You don't have any problems with those guys, right? You aren't mortal enemies or anything similarly Shakespearian? Because really, I don't know the man, but I don't want to get him into trouble or offend you in any way.
Or have I completely misunderstood you and you all work together?"
"Oh, we do kind of work together. Sort of like the wizard Illuminati, you know, but with additional asskicking."
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 31, 2014, 05:15:19 am
"Indeed, true wizards are certainly way more impressive than a bunch of old guys wearing hoods and playing with their silly rituals... or am I confusing Illuminati with Freemasons again?
Anyway, it was the corporate guy, Mr. Pilton. I was planning on calling him later today and setting up a meeting like he asked me. Mainly because I want to see what he can teach me about all this."
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 31, 2014, 06:41:22 am
Oh, that's good to know. Looks like my concerns were unfounded.
"Indeed, true wizards are certainly way more impressive than a bunch of old guys wearing hoods and playing with their silly rituals... or am I confusing Illuminati with Freemasons again?
Anyway, it was the corporate guy, Mr. Pilton. I was planning on calling him later today and setting up a meeting like he asked me. Mainly because I want to see what he can teach me about all this."
"Huh. I guessed wrong. Thought it'd be the other guy. Anyway, Kermit's cool. Kind of an asshole a lot of the time, but I can see how you could get used to that. Don't expect him to teach you anything too valuable, though. He's kind of in the dark about most things, as far as I know."
Post by: Pancaek on May 31, 2014, 07:36:51 am
Open one of the doors lining the hallway
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 31, 2014, 03:27:42 pm
"So, could you perhaps if it's not too much trouble tell me how you found magic and why you all work together? Or is this one of those 'If I tell you, I'm going to have to kill you.' kind of things?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 31, 2014, 03:39:14 pm
"Guefff we juff hnnnnng out in ffffff bad spoth till we thefffehheee liffly cuftomerth? And vortexth fffth thit out of any rivalth? Leth fffking go, my dateth fcked, man, leth thell drugth," Halesey slurs at his friend, getting out his phone and dialing a number at the same time. It takes a moment for the personnel of Chez Ronardo's to pick up the call.
"You have reached Chez Ronardo's. What is the nature of your call?" a genteel male voice affecting a posh southern English accent speaks on the other end.
"Yeth, I'm c'lling tf ffay that theff's thiff l'dy that tllks in pink that I hd thiff d'te wiff, and I cnn't mfake it."
"Oh my. Sounds quite awful, it does," the man sympathizes.
"Yeth, I'm at the hffpithal wiff fvere laffevationf, h'd thiff fcuffve, 'nd I cn't fathe 'er in thithe thtate. I'm vrry forry, and I hope fee doefn't thnk too badfy of me."
"Will be sure to relay the message, good sir. Lady who talks in pink, date got hospitalized from severe beating, is very sorry and hopes she doesn't think too badly of him. Got it," the man on the other end parrots in a chipper manner. "Good luck with your injuries, sir, and we hope we can receive you and possibly your date some other day," he then says, and Halesey promptly terminates the call after attempting to thank him for his helpfulness.
It's at this point that he and Larry both realize that they seem to be expecting the other to know where to go from here to sell all their drugs and get all their money, and that neither seems to actually have a clue presently.
* * * * *
Dave, feeling unjustly confident in the powers of magic since they've happened to solve exactly zero of his problems so far, tries to get some better spells to tide him over, lighting a match in the underwear storm and hoping that the green flame doesn't set too many things on fire.
[Dave's mind roll: 3+2]
Staring into the flame, he shifts into a happier place suddenly, a place of cold metal, one-way panes of reinforced glass and implied stares of some faceless entities behind said panes. Almost like home, in a way. And awfully non-prophetic this time at that. Not bad! He takes a look around to see if there's anything he should be doing, and notices that there seem to be small pegs strewn about everywhere, but no holes to put them in, sadly. In an odd instance of pure clown-thought, Dave has the brilliant idea of using the only holes he knows of in the area - his own, and begins shoving appropriately-sized pegs in his nose, his mouth, his ears, his pig's various orifices and other places as well - as soon as he has placed about half the pegs in certain slots, a very wonderful 'ping' goes off in his head, filling Dave with the relieved confidence that this was not just an incredibly ridiculous waste of time and precious orifice space.
Spoiler: Dave's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, enticed by the promise of donuts, goes out to entice the rest of the world in turn. Walking out of the donut shop, he raises his arms like a street preacher and begins to call up a flock.
"*ahem* HEY EVERYONE IN EARSHOT! FREE LOTTERY TICKETS IF YOU COME INTO THIS DONUT SHOP!" he shouts, but nobody seems to be around. Well, aside from a passing cyclist who throws a newspaper at him before speeding off into the distance.
Back inside the donut shop, Eta continues conversing with Donut Girl, as she currently identifies her fellow witch.
"Oh... Well, he's a good start at least. He probably knows more than me simply by virtue of being in contact with magic for longer. And I do kinda owe it to him. I got magic for less than a day and (barring some minor setbacks) my life seems to have already taken a turn for the best. So, could you perhaps if it's not too much trouble tell me how you found magic and why you all work together? Or is this one of those 'If I tell you, I'm going to have to kill you.' kind of things?"
"I guess the best way to put it would be that we kinda dreamed it. And we work together because... I dunno, it's more convenient to? Each of us got our leyline, and now we're trying to figure out where to go from here. You know what a leyline is?"
* * * * *
"Surely, just jumping overboard isn't a good idea. Perhaps one of these doors?" John narrates as his naval adventure continues. He walks up to a door and opens it, finding a cow on the other side, floating in a dark void and looking straight into John's eyes.
"Hello, sir. I am immensely glad you opened that door. Very good wrist action on that, by the way. Fantastic twist. Speaking of, have you heard the good news?" it asks casually.
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 31, 2014, 03:52:19 pm
"Ah, yes, working together is the smart thing to do after all. As for the leylines, I have no idea what they are. I think they're supposed to be landmarks of some kind that hold some manner of mystical power within them purely due to their location?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 31, 2014, 03:58:24 pm
Dreamt it? Wonder how that works? Does that mean she doesn't need to look at matches or similar? Something to ask later...
"Ah, yes, working together is the smart thing to do after all. As for the leylines, I have no idea what they are. I think they're supposed to be landmarks of some kind that hold some manner of mystical power within them purely due to their location?"
"Bingo. You want to find some, because then you can sorta leech off them and become more magical. Literally - part of you is just replaced by magic, or at least that's what it feels like. It feels great, by the way," the girl says, pausing. "So, magic. It's awesome. I think we're in agreement on that, yeah?
Post by: Pancaek on May 31, 2014, 03:58:31 pm
"I don't think I have, no. Would you mind telling me?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 31, 2014, 04:00:23 pm
John is slightly suprised. Only slightly, though. Maybe he's beginning to get used to these kind of things.
"I don't think I have, no. Would you mind telling me?"
"I certainly wouldn't, honestly. You see, the fact is, I have risen. It's fantastic, and I just wanted to let you know. You're rather special to me, I hope you realize."
Post by: Pancaek on May 31, 2014, 04:02:35 pm
"I'm truly sorry, but I do not. How, exactly, am I special to you? And what does 'risen' mean, exactly?"John is slightly suprised. Only slightly, though. Maybe he's beginning to get used to these kind of things.
"I don't think I have, no. Would you mind telling me?"
"I certainly wouldn't, honestly. You see, the fact is, I have risen. It's fantastic, and I just wanted to let you know. You're rather special to me, I hope you realize."
Every answer I get comes packaged with at least two more questions. These bovines are getting somewhat troublesome.
Post by: Harry Baldman on May 31, 2014, 04:08:55 pm
"I'm truly sorry, but I do not. How, exactly, am I special to you? And what does 'risen' mean, exactly?"
"Well, you're inside of me, for one. I don't usually let people go that far if they're not special to me. And I don't know. I just feel kind of risen. Don't you get that feeling sometimes? Like a holy phenomenon was responsible for your current existence? I hear there's medication that does that to you. Is that true?"
Post by: Pancaek on May 31, 2014, 04:11:40 pm
"Well, you're inside of me, for one. I don't usually let people go that far if they're not special to me. And I don't know. I just feel kind of risen. Don't you get that feeling sometimes? Like a holy phenomenon was responsible for your current existence? I hear there's medication that does that to you. Is that true?"
"Yeah, though they're called recreational drugs as far as I know. LSD and such I believe. And, uh, what do you mean with inside of you? I distinctly remember the inspector cow casting some kind of spell on me..."
Post by: Parisbre56 on May 31, 2014, 04:13:14 pm
"Bingo. You want to find some, because then you can sorta leech off them and become more magical. Literally - part of you is just replaced by magic, or at least that's what it feels like. It feels great, by the way," the girl says, pausing. "So, magic. It's awesome. I think we're in agreement on that, yeah?"Yeah, indeed!" Eta said and laughed happily.
I suppose I misunderstood that girl. She seems like a good person with no ill intent. She just didn't seem to have thought this whole cocaine-laced-doughnuts thing through.
"You are fun, you know. Is this where you work most of the time? I mean, would you mind if I came at a later date? If I ever want to chat about magic some more?"
Post by: Xantalos on May 31, 2014, 04:34:06 pm
No one's interested. What are you two talking about?
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on May 31, 2014, 06:20:56 pm
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on May 31, 2014, 06:27:22 pm
"Pfft. Whwat abouf the pawn fftore affppfhole? Or the real efffate agent?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 01, 2014, 04:26:07 am
"Yeah, though they're called recreational drugs as far as I know. LSD and such I believe. And, uh, what do you mean with inside of you? I distinctly remember the inspector cow casting some kind of spell on me..."
"Well, maybe you're not inside of me exactly. More like in my metaphysical space, which can vary greatly depending on circumstances. And I put you here because you were a filthy killer of things not really alive in the strictest sense, and not worthy of continued trust! But with this latest revelation, you have taken the first steps on the road to salvation. Try another door. See what happens. Perhaps you'll die. Perhaps you'll find treasure. What you find and how you deal with it is a measure of your worth, by and large. Now go! I command it!" the cow says, and the door you opened suddenly slams, its texture changing organically until it is just another featureless wall.
"Yeah, indeed!" Eta said and laughed happily.
I suppose I misunderstood that girl. She seems like a good person with no ill intent. She just didn't seem to have thought this whole cocaine-laced-doughnuts thing through.
"You are fun, you know. Is this where you work most of the time? I mean, would you mind if I came at a later date? If I ever want to chat about magic some more?"
"Yeah, I do work here. I'm the manager, sort of. Not exactly the busiest job, but maybe it's better if we exchange numbers instead? You can just call me if you want to meet or chat. I'll try to clear my schedule if it's not too inconvenient a time, m'kay?"
DUNKER silently flips the bird at the cyclist and heads back inside.
No one's interested. What are you two talking about?
"Magic, and maybe you can try a little harder than that."
Post by: Pancaek on June 01, 2014, 05:44:12 am
Open another door! Observe what is inside! Try not to be killed by said thing!
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 01, 2014, 06:53:22 am
Give the girl my number (cellphone if I have it, else give her the name of the hotel I'm staying at) and write down hers.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 01, 2014, 08:03:05 am
"Certainly. I'm Eta, by the way."
Give the girl my number (cellphone if I have it, else give her the name of the hotel I'm staying at) and write down hers.
"Joan. Pleased to meet you, Eta," the girl says as you exchange cellphone numbers.
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 01, 2014, 08:46:05 am
Eta turned around and began to walk toward the door but then stopped and faced Joan again.
"Oh, you wouldn't happen to have any regular not-drug-containing doughnuts, would you?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 01, 2014, 09:05:23 am
"The pleasure is all mine, Joan. It was nice talking to you. Feel free to call me anytime."
Eta turned around and began to walk toward the door but then stopped and faced Joan again.
"Oh, you wouldn't happen to have any regular not-drug-containing doughnuts, would you?"
"Yeah, sure. Got dozens of those. Not too expensive, either!"
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 01, 2014, 09:45:24 am
Acquire Doughnuts!
"Oh, and good luck with your... advertiser? If I meet anyone who wants doughnuts or other pastries, I'll be sure to send them here!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 01, 2014, 09:49:15 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 01, 2014, 09:50:52 am
"Great, I'd like six to go, please!"
Acquire Doughnuts!
"Oh, and good luck with your... advertiser? If I meet anyone who wants doughnuts or other pastries, I'll be sure to send them here!"
She picks out six assorted donuts from the varied displays with her trusty donut tongs and puts them all in a single box, then hands it to you.
"That'll be three bucks, I think," she says, and you pay the rather reasonable price.
((Did I get Mr. Pilton's number?))
Let's assume you did.
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 01, 2014, 10:08:34 am
Back to the hotel! Let the smell of fresh doughnuts fill the air! Offer the receptionist one.
"Hi again! Would you like to try a doughnut?"
Post by: Xantalos on June 01, 2014, 01:17:44 pm
"Thank you! Goodbye!"Inconspicuously begin to follow Eta. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvCI-gNK_y4&feature=kp)
Back to the hotel room! Let the smell of fresh doughnuts fill the air!
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 01, 2014, 01:25:01 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 01, 2014, 05:50:58 pm
[Dave's affinity roll: 5]
As he drunkenly channels the power of the thylacine, the black, earthy mass that is the ground begins to soundlessly crack and split, hairline at first, but widening as the distance increases, opening up to reveal a writhing mass of striped apex predators Dave recalls seeing in a book once - they look way more impressive in person, he has to say, white fangs combined with incredible motility, their bodies seamlessly swimming forward along one another and the soft banks of the river, increasing in size as the river goes on. And as the storm around him begins to calm down, he notices that the river goes on for quite a distance before merging with the nearby river of booze - the thylacines, now provided with a much more sizable swimming space and no doubt inspired by the booze they're absorbing, seem to cut loose at that point, their bodies relaxing as their motions become like that of otters, flawless and elegant. Dave begins to get a little mesmerized as he watches the thylacines swim forth into the distance, realizing that this is probably a sight no mortal before him has ever beheld.
You know, for all the reasons Dave could consider magic counterproductive, it does seem to be able to redeem itself sometimes.
* * * * *
John, urged on by his judgmental cowfriend, goes to try another door, shimmying confidently up to it and twisting the appropriate knob, then pulling it firmly for maximum opening. This time he is greeted by something not at all like before - a very odd stone chamber lies before him, colored liquids placed in vials on towering chemist workstations, electricity crackling between tesla coils far above, tape deck computers busily whirling away in distant corners, and a large stone slabs forming the crude centerpiece of the room, right below a very large sphere of ominous-looking mirrors that seems to emit a very slight twinkling sound as it spins.
Intriguingly, all of the sounds in the room seem synced, with almost a rhythm and a melody to all the bubbling, fuming, Bunsen burning, crackling and whirring, and a not unpleasant one at that. Must have been quite a bit of work to set all that up, one can't help but imagine. But despite all this practically screaming of mad science, John can't see anyone at all in here - just a collection of things on the slabs surrounded by small dabs of blood, and a variety of very arcane, yet primitive-looking machines moving in strange ways not too far away. John wanders closer to look - while undoubtedly dangerous in the wrong hands, he supposed these machines were meant for actual use - to put traps in here would be indicative of an abysmal lack of good sense on the part of the designer. Besides, the whole thing does appear to have a slightly exhibitional vibe to it, so John cautiously proceeds, making sure to look out for the subtle gleams of tripwires and hidden assassin blades.
As he approaches the slabs, he becomes increasingly aware of something being more than a bit wrong here - something appears to be chained to the slab, still moving, yet it doesn't appear to be something that should be alive - in fact, all John knows of physiology seems to indicate the opposite. It's a skeleton, rather small and obviously not human, though definitely mammalian, cleaned entirely of muscle and organs and covered with very odd-looking webbing, yet still twitching in place and fighting against its restraints by virtue of some external force. As John wonders how this could be possible, his eye is drawn to a rather sizable vat placed right behind the skeleton - filled with a transparent liquid, one can see a great multitude of pieces of meat, still with a bit of blood and bubbles streaming off them, floating within it, each contracting wildly every fraction of a second. The restless soup that results is not exactly a feast for the eyes, so John averts his gaze, only to accidentally take a closer look at one of the machines nearby - it seems to have yet another vat in it, this one hosting a brain within it with a whole lot of electrodes attached.
John begins to sense a theme here, so he looks at the next machine - it appears to have a heart in it, suspended in liquid and attached to yet more electrical implements that appear to shock it every once in a while, disrupting its rhythm and keeping it highly unpredictable. Glancing back at the skeleton, John notices that it seems to twitch every time the heart changes its rate, which is to say every few seconds or so. Right next to the heart machine is one with a full digestive system, complete with absurdly long intestines, none of which seem to be suspended in liquid. Instead, some unidentified substance, bluish black and thick, appears to be getting poured down it continuously, and the digestive system appears to be continually retching, as evidenced by the significant backflow of the stuff running along the entire thing. And connected to the digestive system appear to be lungs, full to capacity with the same liquid. Completing the scene over there is a small tongue and a noticeable black nose, both swinging around comically, as if trying to resist the onslaught of the black stuff. John is beginning to sense a theme here, honestly.
Looking around further, he notices a set of organs he doesn't really recognize as such, stretched out between two rods and getting poked at violently by automated, painful instruments. Not very subtle. And nearby is another machine with several pedestals - one appears to have a set of fuzzy little ears connected to a set of ginormous old-timey headphones, a pair of eyes with lights flashing before them, and finally a pelt, taken whole off some sort of animal, no signs of tearing or damage aside from the way it seems to be continually brushed with what appears to be a sharp steel rake. As John slowly considers what this all might mean, he becomes aware of something next to him - a human figure, arms outstretched, smelling of antiseptic - involuntarily, John jumps away before noticing what it really is - an obvious mannequin wearing a labcoat, almost shoulder-length rubber gloves and what look like fishing waders underneath the coat. In one of its hands is clutched what looks like an oversized butterfly net, and in the other appears to be an old canvas bag filled with various tools. On its face is something similar to a welder's mask, except its visor seems to be clear.
For some reason, John feels that something might be expected of him here. He's not entirely sure what exactly, however. A very elaborate lab, though, he has to admit. And more than a bit disgusting to look at or think about at that.
* * * * *
Eta, quite happy to have made a new friend and gotten a great deal, takes the box of donuts and heads off.
[THE DUNKER's finesse roll: 2-1]
[Eta's mind roll: 1-->5+1]
Whistling cheerily, she heads out into the streets, almost skipping with delight at this marvelous morning and almost entirely oblivious to the way a certain DUNKER is trailing her on all fours, crouching like a supermassive tiger while panting and wheezing powerlessly at the sight of the box of donuts in the lady's hands. The chase continues all the way back to the hotel, where Eta, suddenly mindful of proper donut etiquette, remembers that she should offer her kind host, who for all intents and purposes seems to be Bart right now, a taste of her wonderful new acquisition.
"Hi again! Would you like to try a doughnut?" she says, opening up the box and letting the sweet smell of pastries fill the air, eliciting a groan from THE DUNKER, who coyly stands in the entranceway, grinding his pelvis longingly into the doorframe and chewing softly on his left hand as he regards the box. Bart's eyes wander to the donuts, then to THE DUNKER, then back to the donuts.
"Do not mind if I do," he says gravely and takes one of the unglazed donuts, biting into it and chewing for a long moment, causing THE DUNKER's saliva to begin rapidly escaping his mouth and dribbling down his chin. As the large man swallows, THE DUNKER's body twists in unbridled agony of deprivation.
"Good," Bart comments, then looks over at THE DUNKER again, who seems to agree wholeheartedly. Eta, not sure what the man is continually getting distracted by, also takes a look, and a "Huh," escapes her lips as she notices THE DUNKER's plentiful curves pressing up to and practically wrapping around the exterior wall and his slavering, large mouth continually moving in a lazy, reflexive chewing motion.
"Do you... know this man?" Bart asks after a long pause, uncertainty in his voice.
Post by: Xantalos on June 01, 2014, 05:54:15 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 01, 2014, 07:59:52 pm
Eta stared at the strange sight, unsure of what to do or even think. "Huh." she repeated.
"I... Well, that rather depends on your definition of knowing. He was there when I was buying doughnuts at the store. Must have followed me here."
She turned to look at the entrance again to make sure she wasn't seeing things. Yep, still there, still doing... whatever that was. She didn't even want to think about it.
"I... Uhh... I guess I could go talk to him? See what he wants?"
Eta began slowly approaching the man.
"Erm... Hi! I uhh couldn't help but notice you... standing there. Was there something I could help you with?"
Needless to say, Eta wasn't very comfortable with all this. Not comfortable at all.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 01, 2014, 08:03:18 pm
Post by: Xantalos on June 01, 2014, 08:07:41 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 02, 2014, 01:34:09 am
Call Mr. Pilton and say: "You wouldn't happen to have access to the Salty denture dimension do you?"
You quickly dial Mr. Pilton's number and wait for him to pick up. A minute passes, then another, the waiting tone unrelenting in its consistent beeping. Nobody seems to be picking up, right up until the phone stops the call, a pop-up stating that reception readjustment is in progress. Another minute or so passes until a thumbs-up appears on the phone's screen, and then it resumes calling. Ten seconds of the waiting tone later, Mr. Pilton picks up the phone.
"Kermit Pilton here."
"You wouldn't happen to have access to the Salty denture dimension, do you?"
"Who is this?"
"Dave."
"Oh. What happened?"
Post by: lawastooshort on June 02, 2014, 03:55:07 am
"Pfft. Whwat abouf the pawn fftore affppfhole? Or the real efffate agent?"
"That naked bathtird? Yeth, why not. What canh pothibly go wrong. Hey, I wonther iff thith thit ith gonna wear oth thooon?"
Let's go to the pawn shop and see if he's into eldritch cocaine. Also check my phone to see if I think any of my contacts on there are into eldritch cocaine - or even just normal cocaine.
Post by: Pancaek on June 02, 2014, 06:44:09 am
Put on the clothes that are on the mannequin! Become herr doktor! Reassemble the creature on the slab!
Post by: Toaster on June 02, 2014, 07:42:53 am
Follow along.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 02, 2014, 09:44:04 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 02, 2014, 09:50:56 am
Or not really speaking to the original Pilton. That would also solve the paradox of how you can call someone when you were sent to another dimension for not having a phone.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 02, 2014, 10:08:55 am
"You know how it is. You sense power, wander around a school looking for the owner of some really fancy washing machines, you find an injured man, he asks for your phone which you left in your other pants which exploded, he gets mad and banishes you to the salty denture dimension, you accidentally turn your body parts into semi-independent clowns/pigs, you accidentally become god by creating a planet with intelligent life, temporarily descending into madness, still being stuck in the salty denture dimension. Sooooooo... what do.
"Have you tried magic?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 02, 2014, 10:43:45 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 02, 2014, 10:45:09 am
"Yes. It created a planet and a beautiful river of extinct intoxicated carnivores but hasn't really helped."
"If at first you don't succeed, try and try again, as they say."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 02, 2014, 10:47:30 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 02, 2014, 10:51:47 am
"So what you're saying is you can't help."
"That seems to be the case, yes."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 02, 2014, 11:15:34 am
MOAR MAGICKS GET!!!!!!
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 02, 2014, 12:16:05 pm
"Huh," the nearby Eta repeats, somewhat surprised to see the donut shop man here and seemingly attempting to cure a very nasty fit of constipation. "I... Well, that rather depends on your definition of knowing. He was there when I was buying doughnuts at the store. Must have followed me here," she tells Bart, and the large man nods.
"He looks suspicious," Bart says, wrinkling his face a bit at the way THE DUNKER seems to be pressing himself ever harder into the wooden frame of the door. "And maybe drunk."
"I... Uhh... I guess I could go talk to him? See what he wants?" Eta proposes, and Bart shrugs, which she takes as a sign of approval, and begins to approach, speaking to the man slowly and carefully. "Erm... Hi! I uhh couldn't help but notice you... standing there. Was there something I could help you with?"
Just as she is about to ask the straining man again, THE DUNKER replies with a powerful "GRRAGH!" followed by something altogether stranger!
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 2+1]
A single can, ostensibly of some strange form of pineapple if one believes the art depicted on it, with a label written in what is obviously Hebrew, suddenly appears in front of Bart, a flash of light and a heavenly choir introducing it as it begins to float mid-air in front of the man. Bart's immediate reaction is to retreat back behind the reception desk, ducking down to shield himself.
"Hostile wizard! Better run, lady!" he says from behind the counter worriedly, presumably meaning Eta.
* * * * *
After a negligible amount of discussion, Larry and Halesey decide to go peddle their cocaine over at Klein's pawn shop, which is quite a long walk indeed for two men as betentacled as they. Fortunately, nobody really seems to notice as they walk about the area - apparently one can even miss a bunch of abominations nonchalantly strolling down the street if one isn't specifically looking, which is probably a good thing to remember for the future.
Eventually they reach the shop, only to find... nothing. The shop appears to be simply... absent, an empty lot in its place. The emptiness before them, and the silence that appears to envelop it, drowning out all nearby city noise, is highly unnerving, to say the least.
* * * * *
John, feeling that his purpose here couldn't be any clearer, quickly undresses the mannequin and puts on the waders, the labcoat, the gloves and the mask, rather delighted when all of them seem to fit perfectly, though he can't really see why they wouldn't, given how they all but magically poofed into existence for him. Grabbing the tools provided, he gets to work immediately.
[John's finesse roll: 6-->5+1]
[John's mind roll: 2+1]
Charging over to the vat with his net, John immediately fishes out every muscle, kidney and miscellaneous gland from the vat, plopping them one by one on the slab next to the skeleton, then taking a short moment to assemble and quickly attach most of them to the skeleton to make a pretty functional-looking body, and the skeleton seems to agree, beginning to twitch altogether more vividly. Next, he retrieves the digestive and respiratory systems, hooking them up expertly to appropriate orifices. The liver's a bit difficult to wedge in there, and he's not sure about the position of the pancreas or all those other glands, but he's the only doctor around here, so his jigsaw puzzle skills will have to do in this case. Then he sticks the heart in its proper place (on the left side, if he remembers it right) and, continuing onward, retrieves the eyes and ears, popping them into place, followed by the brain, for which purpose he needs to actually open up the skull, put the brain inside, then close it up again. And then, as the final touch, he takes the pelt off its pedestal and, after opening it up with a generously provided knife, garbs the skinless body in it, finding that the pelt fits better in some places and worse in others - no doubt through no fault of John's, obviously. Sewing the pelt shut, John then pauses to regard his handiwork.
He comes to the now rather obvious conclusion that the thing he's put together is a koala. A very familiar koala, in fact, one that appears to be less than satisfied with its patch job, judging from the senseless twitching and all. However, John is interrupted by the mirror ball above him stirring in a most menacing fashion. There is an organic half-slosh, half-snap as the koala, who appears to be psychically screaming into the air, judging from the way John is quickly developing a splitting headache, straightens out, her body twisting internally for a fraction of a second before the restraints of the slab suddenly open up, and the innocent little critter tumbles to the floor, rolling around in a panic for a few moments before she opens her eyes and seems to get her bearings. Awkwardly getting up, she slowly turns to John, and her voice rings out in his mind.
~My god. Just... oh my god. There are no words,~ she says, sounding mildly distraught. ~I... hope I can eventually forget that feeling.~
* * * * *
Dave, not entirely relieved by Mr. Pilton's counsel, puts down the pair of boyshorts he has been speaking into and lights yet another match, hoping the rising green flame carries him far away, and he never has to come back to this dimension again in his life.
[Dave's mind roll: 2+2+1]
Entering his mindscape, Dave comes face to face with what looks like... a dragon? One of those Chinese dragons, no less. And around there is nothing but desert. Dave, unsure on what would be the best thing to do in this situation, looks the dragon in the eye, noticing that the creature appears equally perplexed. They stare at one another for a few long moments, but then Dave, as he often tends to, has a bright idea, and quickly climbs the dragon's side, mounting its back like the champ he knows he is. Cheerfully slapping the dragon across the neck, he urges it to take him to the land of happiness, and the dragon, seemingly having no better ideas, complies, flying upward, its elongated form snaking through the air as it ascends ever higher, giving Dave an increasingly good view of the land below, though there appears to be nothing of interest to see, just a few cacti and sand dunes, and the further ascent confirms that that's all there really is, for many miles in every direction. Finding this greatly depressing, he looks upward instead, and notices a cloud high above him - a single, massive cumulonimbus. As he appreciates the cloud, the dragon starts moving closer to it, going higher and higher until it starts to become difficult to breathe. And yet the cloud seems to draw the dragon quite irresistibly, and Dave's resistance only seems to urge it onwards, into even less oxygen-saturated areas. Dave tries to scratch, bite and kick the dragon as hard as he can, but that doesn't work at all, and neither does strong language, or even the weak pleading he manages right before he begins to lose consciousness, his grip relaxing in a critical moment, causing his body to slip off his mount, going into freefall.
Dave practically doesn't feel a thing when he hits the ground - just a very deep ringing, and a whisper of sorts in his ears, as the cloud above, the dragon no doubt within it already, drifts off.
Spoiler: Dave's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
As Dave gets back from his trance state, he notices that something appears to have changed in his surroundings, namely, he seems to have attracted a crowd of strange, floating pairs of underwear. He isn't sure how, but he is fairly certain they seem to be looking at him curiously.
Post by: Pancaek on June 02, 2014, 12:22:47 pm
"Holy shit, Luz? Is that you? What the hell happened to you after I got sucked into here?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 02, 2014, 12:56:41 pm
"Please! I implore you sir, cease this at once! Any aggressive action on your part is wholly unnecessary and certainly not conductive to an enjoyable situation for any party! If you would just deign us with your desires and reasons for committing these deeds, I'm certain we could come to a manner of agreement beneficial to all involved! Please don't let your reduced inhibitions caused by your current state of inebriation lead you to any regrettable activities on your behalf!" Eta rambled rather quickly in a slightly high pitched voice as she tended to do when scared. At the same time she backpedalled towards the nearest available cover and hid behind it.
Get to cover!
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
((EDIT: Also, I love Mr. Pilton's reaction.
"Magic caused me very grave problems! I need help!"
"I see. Did you try using magic to solve the problem?"
"I did, but that only made matters worse!"
"Really? Perhaps you should use magic to make things better."
"What the magic don't you understand? MAGIC DID NOTHING BUT HURT ME OR DO WEIRD THINGS TO ME!"
"What's this? Magic appears to be causing problems? A large influx of magic ought to put a stop to that!"
"Forget this. I'm hanging up."
"Magic!"
*click*
Kinda like a tech support guy constantly recommending you reboot.))
Post by: Toaster on June 02, 2014, 12:58:54 pm
"Pfbbbt. Makeff you glad wwwe diffed all that divine wititarture, wight?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 02, 2014, 12:59:41 pm
John, gauntlets still wet with several fluids he would rather not think too deeply about, takes off the welding-mask-like headgear.
"Holy shit, Luz? Is that you? What the hell happened to you after I got sucked into here?"
~Let's just say the cows caught on pretty quickly when we killed the next one, and then I found myself drowning, in horrible agony, vomiting and having interesting centers of my brain directly stimulated while having a repeating heart attack all at the same time. Speaking of, I think you missed something,~ Luz says, pointing at the set of organs you didn't manage to identify previously, still being tortured by their respective machine.
Post by: Pancaek on June 02, 2014, 01:05:56 pm
John keeps talking with Luz, while he moves closer to the set of organs to try and figure out what they are
Post by: Xantalos on June 02, 2014, 01:09:29 pm
Quickly, make a break for it while they're panicking!
Go outside, that is.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 02, 2014, 01:25:13 pm
"sup?"
Post by: Toaster on June 02, 2014, 02:14:23 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on June 02, 2014, 02:33:26 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 02, 2014, 02:36:03 pm
"Oh dear. Seems like I missed some. What...what should we do with those? Also, why did you kill another cow? Do you know where Trey is?"
John keeps talking with Luz, while he moves closer to the set of organs to try and figure out what they are
You approach closer and try to... wait, you know what this is! The reproductive system! The bifurcation on the endparts was kind of throwing you off before, is all.
~Well, we couldn't think of anything else to do. And it did look like it was a game of mafia, pretty much, so we thought we'd try to win somehow. Trey's presumably still out there, or maybe they singled him out as well - wouldn't be too difficult, I guess, but can't lose hope. And... don't worry about those other things, I guess? Hang on,~ Luz says, and begins to grow rapidly in size, slowly losing her body hair and assuming human form once more, complete with a full set of clothes on her. She looks pretty normal, much to your relief. "Yeah, seems like everything's nominal. I guess you can leave those bits over there. Even if I didn't get them back when I shifted next time, I can't see myself needing koala fun bits unless my life takes some drastic turns for the worse."
"sup?"
"He speaks!" a giant pair of boxers with black patterns painted all over them says. "The Wellspring speaks!"
"Sweet Dave in heaven!" a smaller pair of briefs exclaims in shock. "Is it really Him?" he asks before being distracted by a frilly thong that was floating around nervously moments ago seemingly fainting with a weak "Oh!"
((I forgot. Can I choose not to take one on a five?))
No, have to take one.
Post by: Pancaek on June 02, 2014, 02:40:31 pm
John says, as he takes off the doctor clothes and puts them back onto the mannequin
"I hope those psychotic cows haven't done anything too bad to him. What they did to you was unacceptable. I swear, once we get out of here I'm getting as far away from mister Lee as possible, that man is insane."
Head back into hallway with Luz, open another random door!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 02, 2014, 02:47:30 pm
Choose Empathize With Camel replacing Sabotage Angel.
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 02, 2014, 02:51:05 pm
"Well, I've only got one idea how to find Trey and it's the same thing I did to find you. Just gotta go open a random door in the hallway."
John says, as he takes off the doctor clothes and puts them back onto the mannequin
"I hope those psychotic cows haven't done anything too bad to him. What they did to you was unacceptable. I swear, once we get out of here I'm getting as far away from mister Lee as possible, that man is insane."
"Thing is, probably something similar is gonna happen to him if he gets caught - the point of this whole thing, near as I can tell, is to fuck with us as hard as possible. Only thing we can do is try to not let it get to us."
"yes. i'm Dave. i creaTeD This worlD aND Fell To iT's surFace. i DeFeaTeD To aTTackiNg chimNeys aND craTeD The ThylaciNe river. how may i help you?"
"It is he! Bow down, ye faithful!" the pair of boxers says, and the other underwear present press themselves to the ground before you. "How may we serve your will, o mighty Dave?"
Post by: Toaster on June 02, 2014, 02:53:48 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 02, 2014, 03:29:12 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 02, 2014, 03:34:04 pm
"Any of you guys spell casters?"
"What! No! None are permitted to intrude in the domain of the divine!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 02, 2014, 04:10:15 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 02, 2014, 04:11:55 pm
"Overruled. Are any scholars or priests present? If not someone get any who live nearby."
"Scholarship and priesthood are strictly forbidden. Had a big purge to ensure that! Now we're all simply educated and pious!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 02, 2014, 06:31:42 pm
"When did you have time to make and enforce all these rules? It's been like half an hour tops. Anyway just pick a few smart people and get over here to become my prophets. Dave demands it and also that you establish an official church and scientific institute for the learned.""Overruled. Are any scholars or priests present? If not someone get any who live nearby."
"Scholarship and priesthood are strictly forbidden. Had a big purge to ensure that! Now we're all simply educated and pious!"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 03, 2014, 03:15:05 am
"When did you have time to make and enforce all these rules? It's been like half an hour tops. Anyway just pick a few smart people and get over here to become my prophets. Dave demands it and also that you establish an official church and scientific institute for the learned."
"We shall attend to it immediately, o Dave!" the boxers say, and the crowd quickly vacates your immediate vicinity.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 03, 2014, 05:12:30 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 03, 2014, 05:19:31 am
"I wasn't done! do you not understand delegation of labor at all?"
Sadly, they do not seem to hear you, flying away to act on your orders at speeds that, when you think about it, are rather impressive.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 03, 2014, 05:23:00 am
Cast Storm of Distracting Underwear until I am in the eye(candy) of a storm of hurricane proportions.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 03, 2014, 09:10:09 am
Meanwhile, THE DUNKER is pleased with the way this is working out.
"Hah! Distraction engaged!" he says, beginning to rapidly waddle away from the entrance.
[Finesse: Bart vs. THE DUNKER: 3 vs. 3-1]
[Bart's finesse roll: 5]
[THE DUNKER's body roll: 3-1]
However, his daring escape is interrupted by something, the sound of air parting behind him as an object, which Eta from her spot can clearly identify as a half-full whiskey bottle, rapidly arcs through the air, striking him across the back of the head with its glassy, fluid-filled mass before bouncing off and falling to the ground, all without breaking, followed by THE DUNKER himself plummeting right next to it, his brain having been shaken very unpleasantly by the impact. Though he does not lose consciousness, fortunately, he isn't quite sure he can get up from this, what with the world spinning like that before his eyes.
[Bart's finesse roll: 5]
Before the fat man has even hit the ground, Bart has already cleared half the way to the door, carefully grabbing the floating can and hurling it out of the open door, breathing a sigh of immense relief when it doesn't seem to explode at any step of the way.
* * * * *
John, after speaking with Luz and making sure she's alright, takes off his doctor gear and puts it back on the mannequin, then heads back out into the main chamber with her and tries another door, suspecting already that what he might find will not be to his liking.
This time, though, it appears to be another one of the void rooms, complete with the inspectocow, who seems to be filling out a bit of paperwork at a small desk, all six of its limbs wielding absurdly large quill pens of bureaucracy. As John and Luz stare at it for a moment, it looks back, its thirteen eyes flashing.
"Out already? Quite the revolving door justice system this is," it says amusedly.
"Fuck you," Luz says simply, looking at it with intense hatred.
"You'd better watch your language, milady! Using profanity in the presence of a law enforcement officer. I may not be on active duty right now, but you are sorely tempting me to take measures here," it answers back in a joking tone.
* * * * *
Dave chooses to get over his disappointment about his new minions leaving so soon by conjuring up a bit of a storm.
[Dave's affinity roll: 4]
Underwear all around him begins to stir, and a small storm of it quickly forms. Dave, rather appreciative, decides to increase it in-
[? vs. Dave: 3 vs. 6-1-1]
He notices something tugging at his pig leg, but it seems to be very successfully struggling back, fortunately! If he didn't know any better, he'd say the earth itself was rebelling against him!
Post by: lawastooshort on June 03, 2014, 09:31:11 am
"Oh ballth. Well, why don't we thummmon a demon? I'm pretty thure they like cocaine?"
Post by: Toaster on June 03, 2014, 09:59:36 am
Post by: Pancaek on June 03, 2014, 10:36:17 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 03, 2014, 10:46:35 am
"Hello again, pardon the intrusion. I hope you'd be able to answer a few questions for me, if you would be so kind. What is this place? And would you have any idea where our friend Trey is? Also, how well do you know mister Lee? Did he order all this?"
"This is the brig, yes, rather intimately, and not really!"
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 03, 2014, 10:52:04 am
"Oh dear. Is he all right? Should we call an ambulance?" she called out to Bart, still afraid to approach.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 03, 2014, 10:53:39 am
Eta slowly got out of her hiding place and looked at the man lying on the floor.
"Oh dear. Is he all right? Should we call an ambulance?" she called out to Bart, still afraid to approach.
"No need," Bart says and begins to briskly walk toward the downed fat man.
Post by: Xantalos on June 03, 2014, 02:12:55 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 03, 2014, 02:19:12 pm
Unless the fat guy tries to hurt Bart. Then let the fat guy suffer sever bodily harm.
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on June 03, 2014, 03:57:50 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 03, 2014, 04:00:28 pm
"Hmmm, I don't suppose you could point us in the direction of our friend? I'd rather like to find him as soon as possible. Also, once we find him, how exactly do we leave this place? The captain on the deck suggested jumping overboard, but somehow that doesn't seem like such a grand idea."
"I would, but directions do not really mean much around here, and it is slightly important that he suffers a bit. Surely you understand, Mr. Watson? And yes, jumping overboard may or may not be very hazardous to your health."
Post by: Pancaek on June 03, 2014, 04:03:51 pm
John extends his hand for a handshake towards the cow as he asks his last question
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 03, 2014, 04:35:17 pm
"How exactly is it important that he suffers? Is this punishment from mister Lee? And Watson...? Oh right, from back then. Sorry about that by the way, didn't want to make your job any harder, it just seemed like the proper thing to do at the time. Name's John T. Deschutter, pleasure to meet you, sir...?"
John extends his hand for a handshake towards the cow as he asks his last question
The inspectocow shakes your hand with the quill pen rather than the limb.
"Well, it's obviously punishment. More of an example of a punishment than the real thing, but we'll get to that at a later point. Now, will that be all?"
Post by: Pancaek on June 03, 2014, 04:38:45 pm
Head out into the hallway and open up another random door! Observe the wonders that lie within
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 03, 2014, 05:12:01 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 04, 2014, 04:00:45 am
[THE DUNKER's finesse roll: 4-1-1]
[Bart's finesse roll: 3]
With a flop and a slide, he begins to move, but, as the nearby Eta observes, a rolling fat man is no match in speed for one trained in the ways of the service industry, and Bart quickly seizes the man by the collar and tries to lift him up, only to find that he seems to be a bit too heavy for that. Bart raises an eyebrow, then shrugs and pulls out a small firearm from the back of his pants and presses its barrel into the back of the wizard's head.
"Get up," he tells the corpulent wizard, who has currently regained enough presence of mind to understand the request. "Cooperate, and there will be no problem."
Eta, meanwhile, seems to have paused in her approach, unsure of what exactly to say about all this. Rough knowledge of firearm safety prevents her from interfering physically, and yelling for him to stop seems... inappropriate somehow, given how he doesn't seem to be intending to hurt the fat guy. And before she can even settle on a clear position, Bart turns to address her.
"Go and get other people," he says calmly. "I will need some help. Look around. Someone should still be here."
* * * * *
John, after bidding the inspectocow farewell, closes the door and, after it, like the other door with a cow behind it, disappears into the wall, goes over to another, trying to ignore Luz's rather furious mumbling as he opens it up, noticing what looks like a circular reading room within, except with small, intricate boxes rather than books lining the many bookshelves. In the center there is a very plain desk of minimalistic, yet sturdy design, with two chairs to match. The room is completely and utterly silent.
"With my luck, this is some kind of bizarre torture room again," Luz grumbles.
* * * * *
Dave, curious about why the ground could possibly hate him so, looks down and inspects it for hostile intent. Seeing nothing of interest aside from slightly featureless and earthy blackness, he shrugs and resumes his spellcasting.
[Ground vs. Dave: 4 vs. 4-1-1]
But alas, he is interrupted, as his legs abruptly sink, burying him up to his navel in the pseudosoil. Finding this alarming, Dave wonders what he could possibly do. Storm of distracting underwear doesn't seem to be helping and, to be frank, his other spells aren't very useful for much of anything.
[Finesse: Dave vs. Ground: 1-1-1 vs. 1]
And though the ground is undeniably slow in consuming the rest of him, Dave's never been one to thrive when rushed, and manages to think of exactly zero things before the ground exerts its next pull.
[Ground vs. Dave: 5 vs. 6-1-1]
And before he can do much of anything, Dave is already entombed in the black stuff up to about his chest.
Post by: lawastooshort on June 04, 2014, 04:08:06 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 04, 2014, 04:17:35 am
Post by: lawastooshort on June 04, 2014, 05:08:56 am
Cast Potato Vortex at the space where the pawn shop isn’t!
”Come, ye demonth! I’d like a blething! Feel fthe powah ofth my potatoeth!”
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 04, 2014, 07:01:51 am
"I-I'm going just, please, don't hurt anyone? He did nothing to hurt us."
Comply. Go inside, start opening/knocking on doors and calling for help. Start with the ones closest to the entrance.
At least he's not hurting him.
Ugh, why did that doughnut addicted idiot had to go and do that? Doesn't he realise he could had gotten hurt? That he might still get hurt. Oh dear, what should I do?
Post by: lawastooshort on June 04, 2014, 07:12:02 am
Oh dear, what should I do?
May I suggest gratuitous violent magic? Got any vortexes? Why not blast a bunch of shoes at the dude?
Post by: Pancaek on June 04, 2014, 07:25:23 am
"Hey, Luz, how are you holding up? You've been mumbling for a while now, and it's kind of scaring me a bit."
inspect the boxes and their contents!
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 04, 2014, 07:29:13 am
John starts heading over towards one of the shelves
"Hey, Luz, how are you holding up? You've been mumbling for a while now, and it's kind of scaring me a bit."
inspect the boxes and their contents!
"Don't mind me. I just really hate this whole thing."
The boxes seem to be puzzle boxes, and almost every last one is visibly different from the other - every box appears to have a unique geometric pattern on it, although some look really similar in appearance.
Post by: Toaster on June 04, 2014, 07:47:04 am
Back up from the potato nut.
((No worries- we're being slow in figuring out our next step anyway))
Post by: Pancaek on June 04, 2014, 07:50:44 am
Grab a box or two from the shelf and go sit at the table and start solving them.
Post by: lawastooshort on June 04, 2014, 08:07:39 am
Catht a potato vortexth on mythelf to prove to Larry how blethed I am!
Post by: Toaster on June 04, 2014, 08:08:42 am
Post by: lawastooshort on June 04, 2014, 08:20:54 am
Post by: Xantalos on June 04, 2014, 09:17:39 am
Fine. You should know that in all pastry-related crimes I'm untouchable. Speaking of such, would you care for a donut? I've found this marvelous donut shop just down the street - good-quality frosting, pretty nice dough, give you magical powers. More people I bring in, more donuts I get. You in?
Get up while talking.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 05, 2014, 04:46:09 pm
"Look. Thcheck thith out," he splutters at Larry, who seems less than enthused. But Halesey intends to show him the way. Turning back to the empty, gray lot, he begins to invoke his holy power, attempting to create a shining beacon for all of demonkind to see.
"Come, ye demonth! I’d like a blething! Feel fthe powah ofth my potatoeth!" he shouts, his arms twisting in the customary manner of potato invocation. Larry, who stands nearby, is still confused and slightly put off by the mention of a god of potatoes of all things - suspecting a crack in his friend's already less than perfectly sound mind, he starts to step away.
"Ppfffotato god? Have you gone compppletely inthane?" he asks, beginning to retreat. Much to his chagrin, though, Halesey appears to be serious.
"Dude, I thaw him. Or heard him. It wath kind of multi-thenthory and all-encompathing. But look - I can even vortexth mythelthff without ill effthect! He hath blethed me, and requireth that I obtain the blething of a demon!" the tuber acolyte says back, and points at his own cocaine-covered abdomen suddenly.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3+1]
As a vortex of potatoes begins to form on Halesey's belly, Larry's survival instincts kick into high gear, and he retreats much faster than before. "I'm juthth going to waffch fwom acwoth the thweeeth, okay?" he says more than a bit warily, making good on his promise within ten or so seconds.
"Yeah, whathever dude, bathe in the gloriouth tuberth!" Halesey says right back, facing toward the empty lot once more. What he sees is cause enough to make him jump backward a little - it appears to be a clown! A rather tall Coco-looking clown, in fact, who, though undeniably jovial in appearance, nevertheless provokes more than a little suspicion through two things - firstly, the air around him appears to be vibrating in a very dangerous-looking manner, the sort of vibration that one would normally associate with a crackling in the air, though in this case it sounds more like a dull roar that makes Halesey more than a tad uneasy. Secondly, his eyes appear to have no whites - instead, there is only a small black pupil and a giant green iris filling the rest of the visible eye area. Before Halesey can bid so much as a fine how-do-you-do, the clown speaks in a cheery, though resonant tone.
"Ho there, wizard! Did you call for me, or has my hearing failed me for the very first time?" it says, and Halesey can't help but notice a rather large clown-shaped hole leading into an equally large clown-shaped tunnel that seems to go straight through several brick walls.
* * * * *
Eta, trying to keep the situation under control, tries to help THE DUNKER's case before leaving.
"I-I'm going just, please, don't hurt anyone? He did nothing to hurt us," she says.
"Not up to me," Bart says. "Depends on him," he says, tapping the gun against the back of his captive's head. Eta, not entirely calmed, runs off while THE DUNKER himself begins to laboriously raise himself from the ground, his bulk like a second moon slowly splitting from the earth.
"Fine. You should know that in all pastry-related crimes I'm untouchable. Speaking of such, would you care for a donut? I've found this marvelous donut shop just down the street - good-quality frosting, pretty nice dough, give you magical powers. More people I bring in, more donuts I get. You in?" he asks during his ascent, but Bart does not seem terribly interested.
"Why did you come here?" he simply asks while standing behind THE DUNKER, waiting for reinforcements to arrive.
Meanwhile, Eta is rather quickly seeking help, and begins by knocking on the door of Room 108 directly opposite Room 101 - in a fit of good fortune, somebody appears to be within, and opens up after but a few moments - a man in a black bathrobe with a full beard and messy black hair, probably in his late thirties.
"A-yeees?" he asks Eta in a drawn-out fashion, and she immediately points to Bart, who is still visible from here. The man opens his mouth for a moment, then closes it, then walks over to join the happenings in the lobby. "Who's this?" he asks.
"A wizard," Bart says.
"Maybe two wizards?" his apparent friend offers. "One inside the other?"
Bart looks at THE DUNKER critically. The other man merely chuckles. "Why does the wizard grace us with his illustrious presence?" he asks, turning to the captive caster.
* * * * *
John decides to try and solve a puzzle box, as it would be awfully wasteful to let a room like this just sit here looking pretty.
"Yeah, this is pretty fucked up. Lets grab a few of these boxes and start solving them. We really have to find Trey before we can begin to think about getting out of here. Maybe these boxes contain clues?"
"Maybe. Or maybe this is all meant to lull us into a false sense of security. Nothing overtly dangerous, so maybe we're in for some kind of fucked up trap," she says, but then waves her hand as if to swipe the suspicion away and joins John in the solving.
[John's finesse roll: 6-->6+1]
Within no more than a second or two, John has retrieved a random box and solved its mystery in six manipulations - all that Rubik's cube practice is paying off, evidently. The box yields almost immediately, opening up and bathing John in a warm green light. Just like the solving of the puzzle, the reward takes no less than a few seconds, and as the light subsides, John feels enriched... with knowledge! He now knows two of the three generally accepted and practiced ways to slaughter, skin and quickly decerebrate a subdued human being with a minimum of fuss, and is pretty sure he could perform these techniques if needed. The images in his head are certainly vivid enough to help with that.
Luz takes a different box and begins solving it. It takes her a few moments, but she manages it without too much hassle despite her fingers obviously lacking practice. In her case, however, the box glows with a red light, and as she seems to wonder what this could mean, it flashes and she shrieks abruptly, the box falling out of her hands. It takes John but a few moments to realize what's wrong, judging from how Luz is looking at her hands - her pinky fingers appear to be gone. Not ripped off or otherwise removed - just gone, along with the small section of the palm they would have come from - the girl's hands look perfectly natural despite this, as if they were never meant to have more than three fingers and a thumb each in the first place, so seamless is the removal, so flowing the pinkies' absence.
"Oh, fuck me," Luz says exasperatedly. "Not trying that again, that's for sure."
Post by: Pancaek on June 05, 2014, 04:52:28 pm
Post by: Xantalos on June 05, 2014, 05:01:43 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 05, 2014, 05:18:55 pm
Focus Eta! That's not the important thing right now!
"I... Would it help if I just gave him a doughnut? I never wished for anyone to get hurt. I only wanted to give my friend a good first breakfast."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 05, 2014, 05:26:08 pm
Post by: Xantalos on June 05, 2014, 05:49:18 pm
Post by: Toaster on June 05, 2014, 08:30:39 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on June 06, 2014, 03:45:22 am
"Thith thit ith wack, bro."
”No way, dudthe. Thith ith awthome. Check out my gutth. They’re potatoethe! Anyway.”
Halesey clears his throat, although you can’t really tell.
”Yeth, mithter O Demon, I did indeed thummon you and I am indeed a withered. I apologithe for the impertinenthe. I withed to know how I could go about obtaining your blething? Do you like eldritch cocaine?”
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 06, 2014, 04:10:51 am
"Oh shit, are you all right? Does that hurt? My box contained some rather...troubling information. Somehow I'm not really sure if this is the place we're going to find Trey."
"It doesn't hurt now. It did a moment ago, and it did a whole fucking lot at that. Goddamn traps."
Oh, that yellowish lady had a donut with her of exquisite quality and I rather lost control of myself. It's an addiction, you see.
"A donut, you say?"
"I... Would it help if I just gave him a doughnut? I never wished for anyone to get hurt. I only wanted to give my friend a good first breakfast."
"Donuts for breakfast? How crude."
"He said there are magical donuts at a shop."
"A nearby shop?"
"I did not ask more."
"Somebody told you about magical donuts in a shop and you did not want to know more? We have to be watchful for these things, my boy! Tell us all about the donuts, friend!" the man says, turning to THE DUNKER.
”Yeth, mithter O Demon, I did indeed thummon you and I am indeed a withered. I apologithe for the impertinenthe. I withed to know how I could go about obtaining your blething? Do you like eldritch cocaine?”
"Why, yes! I love eldritch cocaine! Give me some!"
Post by: lawastooshort on June 06, 2014, 04:31:21 am
Offer an approximate kilo of eldritch cocaine!
Post by: Pancaek on June 06, 2014, 06:16:48 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 06, 2014, 06:40:42 am
"You know, I'm not really feeling these boxes after the ones we opened. What do you say we leave this place and go find Trey?"
"Yeah, screw this, let's go somewhere else."
Post by: Pancaek on June 06, 2014, 06:49:24 am
"Allrighty then. Let's hope the next door is more promising than this one.""You know, I'm not really feeling these boxes after the ones we opened. What do you say we leave this place and go find Trey?"
"Yeah, screw this, let's go somewhere else."
Exit this room! then enter another random door in the hallway!
Post by: Xantalos on June 06, 2014, 12:29:05 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 06, 2014, 01:08:16 pm
Oh, you eat them, then you're transported to a black void where you dodge lasers until you're hit by one and then a pink voice gives you magical powers.
"Naturally. Is there more you can tell us?"
Post by: Xantalos on June 06, 2014, 01:09:17 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 06, 2014, 01:09:53 pm
Like?
"For instance, magical powers. What about them?"
Post by: Xantalos on June 06, 2014, 01:15:19 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 06, 2014, 01:17:42 pm
They seem to be about summoning various objects - canned goods, lottery tickets, underwear, stuff like that.
"I can confirm that."
"Hm. Well, that brings me to the most important question - who are you working for exactly?"
Post by: Xantalos on June 06, 2014, 05:52:24 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 06, 2014, 06:22:00 pm
Post by: Toaster on June 06, 2014, 09:09:18 pm
Just watch. Be prepared to run if shit goes gnarly.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 07, 2014, 05:07:59 am
[Dave's body roll: 2-1-1-1]
It immediately becomes apparent that, in the state Dave's in, it might not be a real option to just dig himself out. And so, before he can even gain an upward inch, the ground pulls again.
[Ground vs. Dave: 1 vs. 3-1-1-1]
And so he slowly descends, the ground rising up to his mouth, and a whiff of the distinctly fungal aroma of it makes Dave very much queasy.
[Ground vs. Dave: 3 vs. 3-1-1-1]
Before he can do much else, he disappears into the ground, blackness surrounding him as he is pulled downward for an uncertain amount of time, eventually stopping in an area that feels... strangely air-filled, non-claustrophobic and habitable, though still terrifyingly dark.
"The <***> is here," a faint voice near him says.
"<***> he is," another voice agrees.
"<***> has arrived," a third voice interjects.
"<***> can <***> that," the first one says peevishly.
"<***> would you <***> about being a <***>?" the second one asks, presumably of Dave.
"Are <***> not <***>?" the third one says concernedly.
"<***> are <***>," the first voice remarks, possibly mockingly.
"Ha," the second voice says in an alien, distinctly unamused tone.
"<***> are <***>," the third voice grumbles.
* * * * *
"Aha! You are a demon of exthquithite tathte, I see. Here. It givethe a nithe clean buzzzthf and awethome tentaclth," Halesey says, offering the demon a full kilo of eldritch cocaine at once. The clown takes the whole bag and begins snorting it all at once.
"Thith thit ith wack, bro," Larry comments as the contents of the bag disappear up the clown's large, red nose, which seems to be disturbingly not false at all. After a minute of amazing nasal vacuum action, the clown raises his head from the bag, dabbing a finger in what remains, then rubbing that along his lime green teeth. Strangely, he doesn't appear at all visually different from the extreme overdose of the stuff, although the way he seems to be sort of hula dancing probably means it's working somehow. The clown cracks his head, then stares levelly at Halesey, grinning wildly, his eyes now a solid black.
"Weak buzz, cut with a whole lot of things, low quality, great quantity!" he critiques the batch excitedly. "Let's go smash things before it wears off!"
* * * * *
John, agreeing with Luz that this room is definitely bad news, decides to leave.
"Allrighty then. Let's hope the next door is more promising than this one," he says as they return to the main room - the door to the box room doesn't disappear, just like the door to the lab. Opening the next door, John begins to sense a bit of a pattern - it's another void room, complete with koto-playing cowman.
"Moo to you, sir and madam," he says. "Having a good time?"
"No, not at all," Luz says.
"Good," the cowman replies.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER freely admits his true affiliation to the men with guns - he has no reason to hide it, you know?
"No one in particular. My stomach and endorphin glands, I suppose."
The man in the black bathrobe nods. "Good an employer as anything, I guess." He then takes a look at Eta's box. "Ma'am, give this man a donut. He clearly needs one."
Post by: lawastooshort on June 07, 2014, 06:01:48 am
Offer kilo. Ask.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 07, 2014, 06:13:09 am
"Well, I guethe it'th a bit cut with tentaclth, but, you know... Fanthy another kilo? What do you wanna smathe?"
Offer kilo. Ask.
You don't have another kilo - the rest is with Larry. And the clown doesn't seem to want any more.
"What do I want so smash? Haw-hum!" he says, then turns away from you and begins winding up his fist in a comical fashion, striking at the air after a moment. Oddly, a patch of air reacts as if it were a solid thing, and shatters into millions of tiny pieces, leaving a doorway emitting a heavenly light in its wake. "First layer of heaven sounds very smashable right now, hahah!"
Post by: Pancaek on June 07, 2014, 06:16:49 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 07, 2014, 07:26:24 am
"If you think it's for the best." she said in a resigned manner and began walking towards the reception where she had left her doughnuts. She grabbed a single doughnut with her thumb and index finger and brought it back. She extended her arm to offer the doughnut while keeping her distance.
"I don't understand. What is going on? What is going to happen now?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 07, 2014, 07:31:15 am
"Good day to you as well. You wouldn't happen to know what door our friend is behind?"
"I most certainly wouldn't, moo. The things behind the doors only begin to be there when you open them."
"I don't understand. What is going on? What is going to happen now?"
"Well, I don't understand either."
"And I am in the dark as well."
"But I think this man needs a donut nevertheless."
Post by: Pancaek on June 07, 2014, 07:34:29 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 07, 2014, 07:35:45 am
"That seems reasonable enough. I suppose we'll be leaving then, since it seems we simply barged into your private room. Doesn't seem like there's anything for us to do here. Unless this is some kind of test. It's not some kind of test, right?"
"I forget. It seemed like a good idea at the time, whatever this is, but many things do."
Post by: Pancaek on June 07, 2014, 07:39:18 am
Leave kotocow to his playing! enter another door in the hallway!
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 07, 2014, 09:28:36 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 07, 2014, 02:52:26 pm
"Vat?"
"<***> has not been <***>!"
"!"
"!"
"<***> do not <***>?"
"<***>!"
"Yes, <***>!"
A pause ensues, after which the first voice speaks again, this time very slowly and deliberately.
"Ahem. Do. You. Want. To. Be. A. False. Prophet."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 07, 2014, 02:59:33 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 07, 2014, 03:07:05 pm
"Umm... maybe. What would that entail? Will I be smote?"
"Probably. Not."
"Unless. You. Fail."
Post by: Xantalos on June 07, 2014, 03:07:30 pm
Eta wasn't really sure about what was going on right now. But her mind offered her no better alternative so she simply obeyed the man.Why thank you!
"If you think it's for the best." she said in a resigned manner and began walking towards the reception where she had left her doughnuts. She grabbed a single doughnut with her thumb and index finger and brought it back. She extended her arm to offer the doughnut while keeping her distance.
"I don't understand. What is going on? What is going to happen now?"
Consume offered treat!
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 07, 2014, 03:20:59 pm
Why thank you!
Consume offered treat!
You devour the donut in no more than three bites, finding it even better than the donut girl's sample donuts!
[Your mind roll: 1-->1+1]
Just as the third bite slides down your esophagus, however, you begin to twitch and shiver, and your vision goes completely white, then slightly red as you begin to foam at the mouth! A sensation of hideous pain and suffering fills your nerves, and despite yourself you look down, noticing that, for some reason, your body appears to have phased with some kind of knobby metal sphere, and the result seems to have cocked up its general workings but good. Tiny cracks run along its (and partially your own) surface, and multicolored light consistently beams out of them. You're about to groan in agony from what looks to be a most hideous teleportation accident, but the sphere exploding along with you cuts you off, at which point you notice that you seem to be lying on the floor of the lobby of that place you were held at gunpoint at.
Spoiler: THE DUNKER's New Spells! (click to show/hide)
Looking around, you notice the two guys are still standing over you, and the large Nordic one is still pointing a gun at you concernedly.
"Huh. What happened there?" the dark-haired one asks.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 07, 2014, 03:27:50 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 07, 2014, 03:31:15 pm
Who will the false god be? Also, will it lead to my being able to exit and enter this dimension at will?
"You. Can. Invent. One."
"But. It. Must. Involve. Fungal. Worship."
"And. Pilgrimages. Into. The. Weeds."
"And. We. May. Help. You. Leave. In. The. Event. That. You. Succeed."
"Shall. We. Seal. The. Deal?"
Post by: Xantalos on June 07, 2014, 03:46:06 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 07, 2014, 03:52:10 pm
((So wait, this would mean all the other spells get replaced, right?))
Uh-huh.
Post by: Xantalos on June 07, 2014, 04:04:47 pm
Spoiler: DUNKER, Dunker of Dunkness (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 07, 2014, 04:10:20 pm
Well, that was powerful!
"I'll say. Was that one of those magical donuts?"
"I tried one of those, and it didn't work. So probably not."
"I wasn't really asking you, Barty boy, but this guy over here. So, tell me. Is that sort of foaming at the mouth and flailing normal when you eat donuts?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 07, 2014, 04:12:22 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 07, 2014, 04:35:23 pm
"Well I'd love to help but I'm kind of already worshiped as the absolute God here. If I say no will you still let me leave."
"We. Know. That. Is. The. Beauty. Of. It."
"Mislead. The. People. Distract. Them. From. Us."
"Make. Them. Overconfident. Let. Them. Think. We. Do. Not. Exist."
"And. From. There. We. Can. Rule."
"And. Aid. You. In. Many. Ways."
"Such. As. This. Leyline. Do. You. Sense. It?"
Actually, you do sort of sense something nearby. Something strange.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 07, 2014, 05:18:40 pm
Post by: Xantalos on June 07, 2014, 05:31:57 pm
Only if they're really good. This one was magic, though. Observe!Well, that was powerful!
"I'll say. Was that one of those magical donuts?"
"I tried one of those, and it didn't work. So probably not."
"I wasn't really asking you, Barty boy, but this guy over here. So, tell me. Is that sort of foaming at the mouth and flailing normal when you eat donuts?"
Form Cloud of Intriguing Skirts!
Spoiler: The DUNKER (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 07, 2014, 05:54:00 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 08, 2014, 11:22:21 am
"This better have what we're looking for," he hears Luz grumble as the door opens, revealing an interesting sight. The room before them is largely dark, with the exception of a cottage-sized, white wireframe cube in the middle, its interior a very nicely decorated parlor, and a lit pedestal outside of it on which a perfectly ordinary cow stands, chewing cud and somehow excitedly narrating something at the same time.
"... ooh, that didn't work out as expected, did it? What a shame!"
"At least it's not a void room," Luz observes as she walks closer to the cage together with John, observing that there appears to be a coffee table placed inside it, on which a whole lot of things appear to be placed, and though it's difficult to make out some of them, most of them are clearly weapons or dangerous tools. Right next to the table one can observe Trey, two Treys, in fact. One of them seems to be currently decapitating the other with an axe, something that seems to be giving him quite a bit of trouble, judging by the way he seems to be screaming with each good chop.
"Oh shi-Trey, baby! I'm here! Stop!" Luz yells as she realizes what's going on, but it doesn't seem like they can hear her.
"Turns out the spine's more difficult to sever than predicted there, Trey 64! Better luck next time!" the cow shouts as one of the Treys has his head finally taken off his shoulders, at which point triumphant music starts playing and confetti blows over the entire room, disappearing the surviving Trey, who looks to be in great pain and breathing heavily, at the same time. The cow, up to now absorbed in the happenings inside the cube, turns to look at the two visitors.
"Ah! You're finally here. It's a shame you missed most of it, but don't worry! You can still make bets! Who will be the last Trey standing? 11, 36, 54 or 64? Three fights left until one remains!"
Luz appears to have gone very pale now.
* * * * *
"Is that what that was? Well, sure but what are you and what's 'fungal worship', is it worshiping fungus or worship involving fungus?" Dave asks the voices in the darkness, and they answer immediately.
"We. Are. The. Things. Below."
"Born. Of. The. Fungus. Of. The. Planet."
"Make. Them. Worship. The. Ground."
"Idolize. It."
"Sacrifice. To. It."
"Die. For. It."
"Maybe. Going. That. Far. Is. Unlikely."
"But. Give. It. Your. Best. Shot."
"Do. You. Accept."
* * * * *
"Only if they're really good. This one was magic, though. Observe!" THE DUNKER explains to the two men and tries to bring about a cloud of skirts with his mind, his receding hairline tensing all at once.
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 5+2]
At his behest, the air slowly begins to twist, forming the shapes of skirts out of rapidly condensing water in the lobby, up the stairs, and even in the hallway leading to the rooms, and when the air has become completely dry, they seem to abandon sense altogether and just start materializing out of nothing at all, skirts of various uncommon lengths, fascinating shapes, atypical cuts, appealing sizes and unusual colors filling the area and floating around. The two men look rather impressed with this, and Eta appears to have stood with her back to the wall when simply backing away proved insufficient.
"Well now, that's kind of fascinating," the smaller man says, then turns to Eta. "Give me one of those donuts, please. Oh, and Bart, give the wizard that donut you tried."
"Why?" Bart asks.
"I want him to try it," the man replies. Bart shrugs and grabs the partially eaten donut from the reception desk, offering it to THE DUNKER.
Post by: Pancaek on June 08, 2014, 11:47:55 am
John, visibly shaken, speaks to the cow
"I'm going to have to ask you to release Trey now. This has clearly gone on long enough."
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 08, 2014, 12:07:52 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 08, 2014, 12:20:15 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 08, 2014, 12:50:15 pm
John, visibly shaken, speaks to the cow
"I'm going to have to ask you to release Trey now. This has clearly gone on long enough."
"Oh, we can't stop now! There's only three fights left! We've already had most of them, might as well conclude the matter, no? I mean, who really needs more than one Trey Hooper? Want to make a bet, perhaps? Still a little time left before the next fight!"
"You sick fuck! What is wrong with you! Why?"
"Because I want this to be an experience, you all. An experience to remember. Seriously, make a bet. Trey 11 versus Trey 36 with a table of rakes, hoes and measuring tape to speed the process. 11's managed a pretty good kill with a spatula in one of the more special matches, while 36 seems to have snapped a little emotionally and gone awesomely stone cold in the process. It's going to get wild, in all likelihood, so be sure to bet! You can bet knowledge, spells, body parts, lifeforce, friends, whatever you like. Anything goes, though some things are more valuable than others! You can easily double or triple your commodities if you get lucky!"
"But those are my doughnuts..."
"Look, I'll reimburse you," the man says, turning to Bart. "Twenty bucks for the box." Bart grumbles a little and roots around in his pockets, then gives his friend twenty dollars, who hands it over to you.
"Umm... Do I actually have a choice? Like, will you still let me go if I say no? I mean I would feel bad if the Garmentions came to harm just because I wanted to get out of this dimension and get a ley line."
"We. Will. Let. You. Go."
"But. You. Will. Be. Lost."
"Lost. Forever."
Post by: Pancaek on June 08, 2014, 01:42:32 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 08, 2014, 02:03:13 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 08, 2014, 02:06:25 pm
"I don't suppose I can convince you to let me take his place? Surely this needn't go on. These kids aren't at fault here."
"Ah! Interesting offer. But first, let me explain the principles at work here - they're pretty fun. You see, I took this one Trey, who really wasn't very good at playing Mafia, to be honest, and duplicated him sixty-three times, obtaining a grand total of 64 Treys. Then I explained to them that they will be killing each other in ritualized arena combat with more or less deadly tools. They did not find the idea appealing. Then I told them that I would kill each one who did not comply far, far more painfully than they ever could with any tools. Something in the vein of your dear friend Luz, but extended a bit. Gave him a live feed of you putting her together for a bit, actually."
Luz says nothing, but you do believe she's seething.
"But that's not all! You see, each Trey is linked to the other in a sort of sensory manner. Any pain or other, similar feeling, like death throes, for instance, that one of them feels is felt by all! Makes the arena fights quite a bit more exciting, I find. And the torture's much more motivating that way, as well as really efficient! It's been very fun so far, if I do say so myself. So, with all that in mind, would you still agree? We'd have to start over, and I'd probably need to kill off three Treys in some fashion anyway (or keep them around here, but I get the feeling that they might not like that option, really). And I'm not sure if it would really be worth it, although I could give you a one-on-one run against yourself to the death for funsies after this, if you feel like you've got what it takes and don't mind yourself dying. Or you could just restrict yourself to betting, which would inject a bit of audience participation into the whole thing. Or if that's too inhumane, just spectate. I'll probably let you three out after this, since I think the point's been made rather well so far, no?"
You notice Luz appears to be reading her book feverishly.
"That's ominous. Please elaborate."
"The. Way. Out. Will. Remain. Unknown."
"As. Will. The. Way. Back. In."
Post by: Pancaek on June 08, 2014, 02:28:52 pm
"Luz, don't do anything rash, we're nearly out of here."
He turns to the cow again
"And what, might I ask, is the point of all this, exactly? Clearly, this is supposed to be some kind of punishment, but I fail to see what for."
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 08, 2014, 02:38:04 pm
John puts his hand on Luz's shoulder
"Luz, don't do anything rash, we're nearly out of here."
She gives you a very nasty look after tearing herself from the book. You get the feeling she might not be thinking clearly.
He turns to the cow again
"And what, might I ask, is the point of all this, exactly? Clearly, this is supposed to be some kind of punishment, but I fail to see what for."
"Ah! We'll get to that later. Right now, I'd like you to place a bet. Maybe you can get a prize for your good work so far! You don't have to, obviously, but still. I want to see how it goes, and I do feel like rewarding you somehow!"
Post by: Pancaek on June 08, 2014, 02:42:52 pm
He turns to the cow suddenly
"Actually, are we allowed to give the...contestants...items from outside the ring?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 08, 2014, 05:15:49 pm
"I'm not sure about this betting thing. How about you, Luz?"
She stares at you blankly.
"Are you fucking serious?"
"But think of the prizes you could win!"
He turns to the cow suddenly
"Actually, are we allowed to give the...contestants...items from outside the ring?"
"Oh, no, not at all. That would be cheating. And would defeat the purpose of leaving specific tools in there in the first place, actually. So no."
Post by: Xantalos on June 08, 2014, 05:35:53 pm
Post by: Pancaek on June 08, 2014, 05:43:27 pm
Silently watch the entire thing. Do not look away, no matter what.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 08, 2014, 06:03:35 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 08, 2014, 09:03:27 pm
Eta shook her head and raised her palm in a "stop" gesture.
"Money is not the problem, it's..." that those donuts were for my friend, not that fat idiot who can't keep his magic to himself.
"Ugh, never mind. Just take the doughnuts."
This is your fault Eta. You wanted to go out to buy doughnuts. You're the one who jinxed it, said this was going to be a great day.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 09, 2014, 04:40:23 am
NOM NOM NOM DONUT
You eat the remains of the donut, and find it very good, rather like the last one.
[Your mind roll: 3+1]
Now, rather than a dark void, you find yourself on a large green plain, blue skies above you. The aroma feels strangely repulsive, though familiar, and you're slightly unsure of what to do. You waddle around for a bit, looking for something to do, but no activities are apparent. Bored, you let yourself fall on the ground face-down, as you often do when terribly bored, finding your footing an odd mixture of squelchy and crunchy. Now that your nose is right on it, you think you might know what this is! Cabbage! One giant leaf of cabbage, you believe. How very interesting.
As you ponder what to do with this information, your mouth almost automatically begins to chew at the ground, since, while you definitely prefer donuts, sometimes cabbage might be the way to go, you know? If there's nothing else around, why not? Telling yourself this, you start eating quicker and quicker, slowly forming a hole in the cabbage beneath you and feeling a little like a caterpillar in the process. Surprisingly, the cabbage is actually pretty good. Juicy, green, and you get this very nice feeling of healthiness as you eat it despite the fact that you're still kind of pigging out. Guess this is what being a vegetarian feels like.
Soon enough you reach a threshold of sorts, and you feel unexpectedly full - you're not sure how much you've eaten, but you're certain it's quite a bit, and you're not entirely sure you want to get up just yet. As you consider whether to eat more and naturally tend toward 'yes' as usual, suddenly your stomach twists, its contents feeling like they're... evaporating? The hot cabbage fumes seem to float up your esophagus in a manner reminiscent of acid reflux, and then immediately rush down into your lungs. And as absorption begins, you feel light, light as a feather, and glowing with moral superiority for some reason.
Spoiler: THE DUNKER's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
As you awaken, the man who is not Bart is nodding, the box of donuts in his hand.
"Hm. So... that worked for you as well. Okay, I'll try half and you try half, then," he says and takes out a donut, pulls it in half and offers one half to you while popping the other one in his mouth and beginning to chew it thoroughly.
"Money is not the problem, it's..." that those donuts were for my friend, not that fat idiot who can't keep his magic to himself.
"Ugh, never mind. Just take the doughnuts."
"Mm. Theshe are good," he says as he eats his half, a few crumbs falling out of his mouth. "Don't you agree, Bart?" he asks of his friend, who shrugs. He then looks back at you. "Sho, where'd you get theshe, Msh., uh... didn't catch your name?"
"Out of the ground or out of the dimension?"
"The. Latter."
"Also. The. Former. If. You. Mention. Our. Existence."
"Right, yeah, pretty sure I don't actually want any of your prizes. Luz, you may want to...I don't know...turn around or leave the room. I don't think there's a faster way to get Trey out of this."
"Oh, trust me, you do. Especially the spells. Bet a spell, get a better one in return! And if you lose one, you can easily get it back with a bit of research! And I do mean an actually better spell, not like the knowledge you got from one of the giving boxes. And if you, say, bet Luz, you can get her and a non-traumatized Trey back! Still sure you don't want to bet anything? Last call before the fight!"
Luz, meanwhile, seems to steadfastly ignore you, opening her book once more.
Post by: Xantalos on June 09, 2014, 05:04:48 am
That was a good one! Gehehehehe.
Now what, though? Might as well observe the effects of the donuts while thinking out loud.
Spoiler: DUNKER, Food Critic (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 09, 2014, 05:15:51 am
That was a good one! Gehehehehe.
Now what, though? Might as well observe the effects of the donuts while thinking out loud.
"Doesn't seem to be doing anything for me."
"Or me."
"But yeah, try this half donut," your donut granting man says. "If that works, I think I might be getting what's going on here."
Post by: Xantalos on June 09, 2014, 05:21:24 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 09, 2014, 05:44:12 am
Acquiesce to his request.
You try the half donut! You think you actually liked the cabbage a little better, actually.
[THE DUNKER's mind roll: 6-->6]
Fortunately, that's exactly what you get after the taste of the donut sets in. Same place, same time, same infinite cabbage! With full knowledge of what's expected of you, this time you waste not a second and dig in with all of your might, using your hands and mouth to great effect as oversized cabbage cells burst between your teeth and organelles crunch in response to fierce chewing. An elephant's daily dose of greens disappears within your hungry maw, and soon you are sure you are full to bursting, at which point you eat some more.
Shockingly, you do indeed burst! Your flesh flies in every direction as it gives way to internal cabbage pressure, and all that remains is a faint reddish-green mist, and an intelligence behind it - you. You are no longer fat, or terrible. You have transcended your body and gone to vegetarian heaven, or at least that's what it feels like. A brilliant understanding fills your mind for a few seconds before your vision abruptly ceases, and you find yourself back in the lobby, back to your usual self.
Spoiler: THE DUNKER's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
"Yeah, looks like donuts work on only you," the guy in the black bathrobe observes. "Wonder if it's any donuts, though, or specific ones. Where are these from?"
Post by: Pancaek on June 09, 2014, 06:31:28 am
"Allright, I'll bet something. Luz, try not to get upset, because I think I might know a way to get Trey back unharmed in the last match, but I need just a little bit of research."
Bet 'Vase boomerang' on Trey 11
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 09, 2014, 07:11:51 am
Get back to my room.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 09, 2014, 07:16:55 am
"My name is Henrietta R. Hippo. And why don't you ask your doughnut-eating-buddy over there? I've got other things to do that don't involve feeding my doughnuts to people stalking me."
"Geez, touchy," the man observes, then turns back to his new friend.
Post by: Xantalos on June 09, 2014, 01:44:01 pm
They're from a donut shop a little down the way. I suppose I should mention the frosting is made of magical cocaine or something. Want me to take you there?
Spoiler: His DUNKNESS (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 09, 2014, 01:47:56 pm
They're from a donut shop a little down the way. I suppose I should mention the frosting is made of magical cocaine or something. Want me to take you there?
"By all means!" the man says, then looks at Bart. "You stay here and hold down the fort, I'll check it out. If I don't come back in an hour, you know what to do."
"Hrm. Yes."
Post by: Xantalos on June 09, 2014, 01:48:57 pm
Commence waddling procedure! To the donut shop!
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 09, 2014, 02:55:55 pm
"All right, I'll bet something. Luz, try not to get upset, because I think I might know a way to get Trey back unharmed in the last match, but I need just a little bit of research," he says, but it doesn't seem like she is listening all that much, being absorbed in magical research from the looks of it. John... supposes that at least she's not doing anything hostile? That's a sort of a plus. He turns to the cow and works out a deal - a Vase Boomerang on the victory of Trey 11!
"Excellent choice! Now then, it looks like Luz won't be betting anything, so we might as well begin. Send in the Treys!" it shouts, and the cube blinks a few times, a Trey appearing in each corner of it. Looking closer, John can discern a black number 11 on the dark yellowish custard-like forehead of one of them - the other one presumably has it as well, he supposes.
[Trey 11's finesse roll: 6-->2+2]
[Trey 36's finesse roll: 5+2]
Both of them seem to be well-acquainted with how this works, judging from how they immediately seem to bolt for the table - Trey 11 is faster, wonderfully enough, and immediately seizes a hoe and tries to swing it at the fast-approaching Trey 36.
[11 vs. 36: 4+1 vs. 6+1]
Unfortunately, the strike, while undeniably rapid, has the terrible side effect of coming from a hoe, which means that, just as soon as Trey 11 has swung it, the other Trey has already closed to a distance where he would be hit in the head with the wooden handle at best - that is, if he hadn't elected to duck and grab the measuring tape in the same motion already.
"Look at them go! They hardly knew how to heft a stick out of distress when they fought the first time, and now they're out to kill each other like it ain't no thing!"
[36 vs. 11: 2+1 vs. 6+1]
However, the tool in question, the tape, was indeed chosen very rashly - while Trey 36 begins to unwind it, presumably for some act of binding or strangulation, the other Trey has already managed to work out a better plan - tripping his roughly identical copy with the hoe, which works rather wonderfully, to be frank, sending Trey 36 tumbling down onto the table, at which point Trey 11 primes himself for another swing.
[11 vs. 36: 6+1 vs. 6+1-1]
It actually scratches his counterpart across the temple, although doesn't seem to have impacted - blood is, however, drawn, and John can see Trey 11 wince with pain as the strike connects even partially.
"First blood! First of a flood, presumably!"
[36 vs. 11: 4+1 vs. 4+1]
It becomes clearer and clearer that these two seem to be evenly matched, as an attempt to try and capture his adversary by Trey 36 is easily thwarted by Trey 11 jumping back and going for yet another swing at the same time.
[11 vs. 36: 6+1 vs. 5+1]
Trey 36 almost manages to duck once more, but the hoe does seem to lacerate the top of his head a tad.
[Luz's affinity roll: 4+1]
However, any further development of the melee is interrupted by the distressing appearance of a slight distortion of space, one that quickly matures into a rather large vortex of... birds, John guesses? Hard to tell what they are from here, but he supposes it doesn't exactly matter - a small bird's a small bird, after all.
[Trey 11's body roll: 4+1]
[Trey 36's body roll: 1-->5+1]
Trey 36, who is closer to the vortex, is immediately taken off his feet and looks to be somewhat frightened as he is quickly pulled toward the thing - Trey 11 also seems put off, but only for a moment - looking at the vortex, then at Trey 36, he seems to get an idea, judging from the expression on his face, and runs up to his competitor, and then sharply kicks him toward the chirping vortex, leaping away as his competitor disappears into it.
"No! You have to jump in, too!" Luz says, banging on the wall of the cube, but Trey 11 doesn't seem to hear, gazing around the cube as if expecting a response.
"What a dishonorable interference! I am glad to see that Trey 11 has kept the proper spirit in mind, but really, to do that sort of thing without asking first is simply impolite, Luz!" the cow states. "I suppose I'll have to hunt Trey 36 down and horribly torture him to death now. Are you happy, Luz? I hope you're happy!"
Luz glares at the cow. "Not happy yet, no."
[Luz's affinity roll: 5+1]
She raises her arms to the air, and a green light flashes nearby - the light briefly illuminates the fact that something seems to have appeared with it - a beaver of some sort. Soon enough, bright green flashes that produce similar-looking beavers begin occurring as well.
"Well," the cow says as the beavers begin scurrying around. "Was that supposed to accomplish something?" it asks, then looks sharply at a nearby beaver, who disappears. The other beavers seem to take this as a sign of some sort, and immediately begin scurrying faster. One runs into a wall, and the wall immediately breaks in half as the beaver plunges into the void.
"Ah. Hm," the cow observes as Trey 11 looks on in confusion at a beaver in the cube. The cow looks at Trey 11, and the cube immediately resets itself, sans the Trey, the vortex and the beaver. "I'd like you to shut that off, Luz," it says, and Luz appears to be staring at it with some variation of a petulant sneer. More beavers in increasing states of irritation seem to be appearing all around, and it seems to be doing a bit of a number on the structure, as the beavers look incredibly talented at destroying things for some reason.
"You can't do it, can you?" she asks of the cow.
"Well, it would require me altering the setup of this place a bit, and I'd... rather not do that for a bit yet."
* * * * *
After making her grievances as plain as politeness and mild uneasiness allows her, Eta goes back over to her room quickly, and finds that Lois appears to be wide awake within, looking quite unkempt at the moment and watching the morning news.
"Oh, hey," she says as she notices Eta, but doesn't really take her eyes off the screen for longer than half a second or so.
Back at the lobby, THE DUNKER slowly assumes waddling position.
"Let's go then," he says as soon as he has set up for launch, and the other man moves on with him without a word, leaving Bart back in the lobby. They have gone halfway to the exit before the man seems to realize something.
"Wait, I'm still wearing the bathrobe. One moment," he says, then quickly skips off to his room, returning in a few moments, dressed in a rather tacky dark tracksuit. Thus outfitted, he follows THE DUNKER out to the donut shop, which doesn't seem to have changed much in the period of THE DUNKER's absence, being just as devoid of non-wizard customers as it was the last time. The girl, upon noticing the man, smiles genially.
"Welcome! I see our marketing program is working wonderfully already. Would you like a free sample donut, sir?" she asks, and the tracksuited man with THE DUNKER looks pleased.
"Holy crap! It's Joanie!" he says with a hint of incredulity.
"Hm?"
"Joanie!" the man repeats, drawing closer with arms outstretched. The girl looks confused. "It's Schlomo! Don't you remember me?"
Joanie's eyes flare with recognition, and just for a moment there even THE DUNKER begins to suspect that she might not be entirely glad about it. "Oh. Schlomo. Yeah... nice to see you," she says.
"I knew you'd remember! Nice gig you've got here. How's the donut business?" Schlomo asks, slapping one palm on the counter and leaning toward the girl.
"Good, I guess? Wanna try a sample? It's free," she says cheerfully.
"Is that one of the cocaine-laced ones?" Schlomo asks right back, and Joanie's face is momentarily entirely bereft of a smile, and she glances at THE DUNKER displeasedly. However, as soon as she looks back at her friend, she is smiling again.
"Yeah, let's say it is," she says.
"Let's have one, then!" he says, and Joanie opens up a box and hands him one of the plain donuts. "Baked this morning - still warm, in fact, and fresh as a spring morning," she tells him as he takes a bite and chews doubtfully for a moment.
"Bake this yourshelf?" he asks with his mouth full.
"Yeah."
"Yeah, you can tell. You should work on your technique on theshe, really," Schlomo says, slowly swallowing the contents of his mouth between words. "They don't feel too magical, either, though they seem to work fine on this guy over here. Ain't that right?" he says, looking at THE DUNKER. "Speaking of, what's with this whole magical thing?" he asks. "Are you one of these wizard types?"
Joanie is quiet for a moment, then nods. "Yep."
"Is that where you got the coke? You can conjure things with magic, I know that much."
"Yeah, that's about right," Joanie says.
"Sweet. How much can you make at a time?"
"Varies, I guess. I can demonstrate, sort of. Probably best not to do it here, though," Joanie shrugs.
"Okay, where, then?"
"I dunno. Not in public, that's for sure. Where are you at? Close by?"
"Yeah, walking distance. There's this hotel I'm staying at."
"Hotel?"
"Well, not really, it's Esposito's, actually."
"Oh, you mean the-"
"Yeah. So, let's go?"
"Yeah, sure. Give me a moment to close up and I'll be with you - just a second, really," Joanie says, beginning to shut off the various lights in the room.
"Sure, we'll wait outside," Schlomo says, and beckons THE DUNKER to follow him with a somewhat dismissive hand gesture.
Post by: Pancaek on June 09, 2014, 03:11:00 pm
Also, it seems that your little thundercube is rapidly breaking down. Why not just give us back Trey now and call it a day? Sureley you've had enough of sick bloodsport matches by now? You still haven't explained the real reason behind all this. 'Tseems to me that you just like watching peopel fight to death."
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 09, 2014, 03:25:26 pm
"Right. Didn't see that one coming. By the way, cow, it seems to me that Trey 11 won that match. You owe me a reward.
"Well, okay. I suppose I'll count it, despite the cheating. Your spell!"
Your mind twists unpleasantly for a moment, and you feel that one of your spells has... changed a bit.
Your Vase Boomerang has become Eldritch Vase-Aided Flight!
"Also, it seems that your little thundercube is rapidly breaking down. Why not just give us back Trey now and call it a day? Sureley you've had enough of sick bloodsport matches by now? You still haven't explained the real reason behind all this. 'Tseems to me that you just like watching peopel fight to death."
"No, no, no! That's not it at all! I'll get to that when we're done, and that's how it must be! Besides, do you want to take all three Treys with you? That would just be impractical. And very wrong from an ethical standpoint. So that's a no, I'm afraid! We need to kill off two of the three available, and then I'll go and get Trey 36, and then balance will be restored!"
The cow breathes deeply, and you can see it twitch.
"Now, Luz. Stop what you are doing. I may get nervous, and you don't want that to happen, believe you me! The harmony's beginning to lift, and control is slowly being lost. That's not good. My mind is starting to go places. Okay, breathe deep. Try to concentrate..." the cow trails off, and you can see the walls begin to reform, and the beavers start to disappear faster than they are appearing.
"Oh no, fuck you! You're not seeing this to the end, you hear me! Screw your games!"
Post by: Xantalos on June 09, 2014, 03:36:17 pm
So, you two know each other?
Post by: Pancaek on June 09, 2014, 03:43:14 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 09, 2014, 03:48:02 pm
DUNKER heads outside with him, not really bothered by the flippancy he's been shown.
So, you two know each other?
"Eh, she's from the neighborhood," he says noncommittally. "I try to keep up with my roots, though I don't exactly live there. I think I might have gone to her bat mitzvah? I remember something like that a couple years ago. She might be a very distant cousin."
"Another question. Are you holding this entire realm together? What would happen if Luz manages to break your concentration completely?"
"Not holding together, exactly. I am this realm. And if you throw me off track enough... well, let's say I'm not very nice when really thrown off."
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 09, 2014, 04:08:41 pm
"Hey." said Eta a bit more loudly than she intended. After taking a second to calm down, she continued.
"Good morning. Did you get sleep well?"
Post by: Xantalos on June 09, 2014, 04:39:58 pm
Post by: Pancaek on June 09, 2014, 04:55:10 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 09, 2014, 06:11:28 pm
Post by: Toaster on June 09, 2014, 08:21:11 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 10, 2014, 04:29:45 am
((So the cowman is saying you wouldn't like him when he's angry?))
"Hey." said Eta a bit more loudly than she intended. After taking a second to calm down, she continued.
"Good morning. Did you get sleep well?"
"I wouldn't know. Am I supposed to vaguely remember strange things from while I was asleep?"
So where are we going now?
"Back to the hotel," Schlomo says, and just then Joanie comes out of the donut shop, making sure to safely lock the door after putting up the appropriate sign. "Let's move out."
"Hmmm, be that as it may, I'm not sure I want to actively stop Luz. She has a point, you know? Trey's 'game' is far longer than anything we've seen here. Honestly, it seems like you're just dragging it out for no real reason."
"On the contrary, you probably do! For you see, I can't really say what would happen if the... method were to disintegrate. I am fairly sure of several things, though - if that were to happen, you are exceedingly unlikely to get out. And if you did, well, your odds of being recognizably human or even animal-like are rather low at best."
"But the point is taken. What say you we expedite things a tad and make the last bout 1 vs. 1 vs. 1? Treys 11, 54 and 64 in the final match to see who the real Trey is going to be? Sound good?" he asks of you.
[Luz's affinity roll: 1-->1]
At exactly that moment, Luz appears to have encountered a bit of a problem - namely, the flash of green light that is supposed to appear a new beaver appears to have chosen to materialize right in the middle of her chest, and the beaver looks quite agitated as a result.
[Luz's body roll: 3+1]
[Beaver's calmness roll: 2]
Luz, evidently without breath, attempts vainly to shush and calm the strange, violent mammal in her chest, but it appears to be having none of that, jumping out and leaving Luz with a very significant hole in her chest. She stands dumbfoundedly for a moment, then collapses, a gaping, oddly non-bleeding hole in her chest where a bunch of very important organs used to be. The cow seems very surprised by this.
"Oh... dang," it says. "I mean, blimey, did you see that?" it asks of you while the room keeps on repairing itself. "Most distressing, indeed. Bugger. Not sure I can fix that, really."
"Can you let me go now and I'll think about it while setting up the infrastructure of my little society."
"Agreeable. Enough."
"But. If. You. Do. Not. Comply. We. Will. Seek. You. Out."
"And. Then. We. Will. Ask. Again."
Post by: Xantalos on June 10, 2014, 04:34:47 am
Move out!
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 10, 2014, 04:38:37 am
"As long as they aren't apocalyptic visions of the future, I think it's all right." Eta joked. "It's called dreaming. And it's quite normal." she added more seriously, in case her friend misunderstood her.
Post by: lawastooshort on June 10, 2014, 04:57:57 am
((Way behind on this, but I'll catch up in the AM. Larry is probably just watching Halesey at this point anyway.))
((Er, I'm not sure I'm actually doing anything. I'd better catch up too))
((catching up ahoy))
"What do I want so smash? Haw-hum!" he says, then turns away from you and begins winding up his fist in a comical fashion, striking at the air after a moment. Oddly, a patch of air reacts as if it were a solid thing, and shatters into millions of tiny pieces, leaving a doorway emitting a heavenly light in its wake. "First layer of heaven sounds very smashable right now, hahah!"
"Er. Okay?"
Smash up air!
Post by: Pancaek on June 10, 2014, 05:37:02 am
And maybe we should just forego the deathmatches and call it quits before we all get in trouble here, don't you think?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 10, 2014, 05:52:09 am
"Er. Okay?"
Smash up air!
You begin waving your hands comically at the gateway while making smashing noises with your hideous mouth (which seems to be becoming less hideous now, wonderfully enough). The clown giggles at your display.
"Not what I had in mind, but keep doing that!" he says, looking at your sweet moves.
"What? You can make this realm, take Luz apart into little pieces without killing her and split Trey up into 64 different Treys, but you can't fix a hole in her chest? Come on now, you can't be serious.
And maybe we should just forego the deathmatches and call it quits before we all get in trouble here, don't you think?"
"I... wait! That's right! I didn't exactly split Trey up as much as duplicated him, as I may have mentioned, but you're mostly right! Keep motivating me!"
Post by: lawastooshort on June 10, 2014, 06:03:35 am
Continue! Try kicking the air too!
Post by: Pancaek on June 10, 2014, 06:18:36 am
Honestly, as much as I dislike being here and as much as I dislike you, I'm pretty impressed by all this."
Post by: Toaster on June 10, 2014, 09:06:49 am
Give Halesey the bag.
Post by: lawastooshort on June 10, 2014, 10:01:04 am
Accept but don't actually consume any more eldritch cocaine yet.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 10, 2014, 07:26:37 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 12, 2014, 07:02:58 am
"Hello," Joanie says to Bart cheerily.
"Good morning," Bart answers a bit more formally.
"No time for meeting and greeting. Let's go to the backroom already," Schlomo says and leads both Joanie and, by virtue of not deliberately excluding him, THE DUNKER as well.
The backroom seems to be a rather austere affair, compared to the look of the rest of the hotel - there's a round table here with a set of six chairs around it with a somewhat old lamp hanging over it, a dartboard on one wall with some picture THE DUNKER doesn't really recognize on it, a pool table in another and a very retro jukebox that doesn't seem to work propped up against a nearby wall. A typical room of recreation, pretty much.
At the table appears to sit a man, in his early sixties, with white hair and a sizable beard, currently reading a newspaper of some sort, his feet propped up on the table. He gives the three a glance and raises an eyebrow.
"Who're they?" he asks.
"Wizards," Schlomo replies nonchalantly, and the old guy's eyebrow shoots up an extra amount.
"Why're they here?" he asks after a moment.
"Well, Joanie here can apparently conjure cocaine. I was hoping she could demonstrate it to us," Schlomo explains, pointing at Joanie, who waves and smiles.
"Huh."
"Yeah. So, Joanie, why don't you demonstrate, eh?" Schlomo asks of his old friend.
"Oh, sure," she says, walking up to the table and leaning forward. "Let's see now..." she starts saying to herself and raises her fingers to her temples.
[Joanie's affinity roll: 3+2]
She begins to glow softly for a moment, and her silhouette begins to undulate, then starts to glow a bright purple as she seems to hover a few centimeters up from the ground. The old guy's eyes widen, and Schlomo begins to grin.
Said grin presumably disappears, though THE DUNKER can't quite say for sure, when some sort of purplish wave shoots out from her body in every direction, and light is momentarily blocked out completely as a large amount of the wave hits nearby individuals and furniture alike.
[THE DUNKER's body roll: 6-->6-1]
[Schlomo's body roll: 2]
[Old Guy's body roll: 2]
THE DUNKER, aware of proper protocol to be observed when witnessing unusual discharge of fluids, turns away, bows his head to avoid any splattering and crouches down with surprising quickness, and the wave shoots almost completely over him. The same cannot be said of either the old guy or Schlomo, he notices, who seemed to have failed to turn away - the former appears to have fallen back together with his chair, the entire front and sides of his body covered in purplish black growths vaguely resembling barbed, waving hairs, and the latter seems to have simply toppled backward, his body suffering the same fate. They sound like they're screaming, though the hairs appear to be warping it in a mildly otherworldly fashion. THE DUNKER, mildly curious, runs his hand over his back, and notices that it seems to have similar growths.
Joanie, standing in the center of the room, looks a bit surprised.
"Huh. Didn't expect it to work that well, actually," she says, then looks at THE DUNKER. "Hey, you're okay. Cool. Say, I'm going to try and kill these two right quick and then eliminate their guy in reception as well. And when that's done, maybe steal some valuables or something. You wanna help?" she asks, smiling at him.
* * * * *
Eta, hoping to lighten her mood with some friendly banter, speaks with her companion.
"As long as they aren't apocalyptic visions of the future, I think it's all right," she says. "It's called dreaming. And it's quite normal."
"Oh. I think I was dreaming about that guy from on TV. The rambling one. He was saying something, I think. It was kind of strange," she says, still watching TV. "I think he was also naked, but that's less important," she adds. Eta is about to ask more, but her eye is drawn to the program on TV - it looks like some kind of mock duel between men on stilts holding long poles in their hands. One appears to be significantly fatter than the other, and as they pretend to duel, a very dull-sounding commentary emanates from the TV. The program seems to be something from Channel 97, and looks slightly more news-like than their actual news show, leading to some confusion from Eta when just it doesn't seem to end.
For some reason, she finds it oddly mesmerizing, and so evidently does Lois. Perhaps it's the regular bleeps as about every third audible (that is to say, shouted at the top of their lungs) word from the two men seems to be unsuitable for daytime viewers somehow.
* * * * *
John, not one to argue with a deranged mancow, decides to provide as much motivation as is needed.
"I... okay. You were able to capture three people who had enough power to demolish a school, and you did it without breaking a sweat. You then seperated us, enacting elaborate punishments on three people at the same time. You were able to impart knowledge on me by having stored it inside of a puzzle box, which was impressive as well. I even had conversations with several other cows that I can only assume were your creations as well. You even upgraded one of my spells, I didn't even know that was possible without the magazine. Honestly, as much as I dislike being here and as much as I dislike you, I'm pretty impressed by all this," he says, and the cow appears to be responding positively.
"Yes, I can do this! You're right! Rise, Luz! Rise and live to fear another day!" it shouts, and a light surrounds Luz. As commanded, her body rises from the ground, and the hole in her chest fills seamlessly with new flesh. She stays still in the air for a second, then the cow opens her mouth and she suddenly draws breath, seemingly awakening all at once.
"Oh god," she mutters.
"Welcome to the land of the living!" the cow congratulates her, and lets the girl sink to her knees before turning to John. "Thanks, man. I appreciate you having faith in me, really. So, in recognition, I'll just let you pick a Trey to take back with you and I'll disintegrate the others I've got on my own time. So, do you want 11, 54 or 64? You already know 11, 54's pretty quiet and seems to be dealing nicely, though he's got a few nasty scars, but 64 broke down into tears a few times, so you might not want that one. I'd ask Luz, but I get the feeling she'd not cooperate a whole lot."
* * * * *
Halesey, spurred on by the clown demon but slightly discouraged by the way he seems to be looking like a normal person again for some unfathomable reason, keeps up his routine.
"Okay, Mr Demon! Thay, whath your name? Eh, Larry - could you thummon uth up thome more coke? I think thith ith wearing off, man."
"Me? I'm Reuben the Clown!" the demon says, still giggling at Halesey's kung fu.
Larry, meanwhile, is somewhat unsettled by this whole business. For one, he's pretty sure somebody's looking at the happenings over there from within the heavenly portal. Secondly, he's not sure if Halesey needs a storm of eldritch cocaine in his life right now. So he just gives Halesey his bag instead.
"Errr... how about you juth take tthome of mine?" he says, and Halesey graciously accepts, using the bag as a sort of flail against the villainous air before him. This continues for a good minute before Reuben raises his palm.
"Enough! I am slightly bored! Into heaven, toward adventure!" he says and leaps into the bright gateway, emitting a peculiar warble as he does so.
* * * * *
Dave has but one more question of his fungal hosts.
"Um... before I go, why do you want this?"[/glow]
"Why. Is. A. Meaningless. Question," the first voice merely replies, and Dave is suddenly shot up from his current position, flying out of the ground after a few minutes of moving. Strangely, he does not appear to be in the same place that he was before - instead, he seems to be currently atop a rather tall mound of the blackish smut that appears to make up the majority of the earth around here, and around him giant hogweeds sway to and fro in sync, the wind producing odd music as it moves through the field. From here, six trails seem to lead outward, and none appears much different from any other.
However, there are several plumes of smoke on the horizon all around - how many of these are chimneys and how many civilization, though, is difficult to say.
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on June 12, 2014, 07:27:30 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 12, 2014, 07:35:40 am
"Aaw, come on man, don't be like that. We're on such an awesome roll here, just let us have the original Trey back. Look, I'll even give something in return, how about all of my spells? Surely we can come to some kind of an agreement."
"Original Trey? You mean Trey 1? Don't mean to burst your bubble or anything, but he kind of got eliminated in the first round. Trey 2 got him with a claw hammer in the back of the head, I'm afraid."
Post by: Pancaek on June 12, 2014, 07:39:32 am
Post by: lawastooshort on June 12, 2014, 07:45:12 am
Presuming Larry doesn't, follow Reuben into... Heaven?
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 12, 2014, 07:51:46 am
"No, I realize that. But a bit back you said we could get a non-traumatized Trey back through betting. Couldn't we just forego that and get a non-traumatized one? I mean, you've pretty much showed your absolute superiority already, why not throw us a bone at the end?"
"Oh no, the trauma's essential. Otherwise all of this is for naught. So, care to make a pick or shall I give you a random one? Or maybe we can have that triple threat match and you can make a bet that could pay off big time?"
Post by: Pancaek on June 12, 2014, 07:57:04 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 12, 2014, 08:05:12 am
"...say that I bet a person, what would happen if I lose the bet?"
"This person is subsumed by me. And presumably all of its identity is diluted within my larger consciousness."
Post by: Pancaek on June 12, 2014, 08:16:52 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 12, 2014, 08:19:03 am
"Are there rules on who I get to bet?"
"Yes! Not me, for one. Or any competitors. But other than that, anybody who is here right now."
Post by: Pancaek on June 12, 2014, 08:25:25 am
John turns to Luz.
"Luz, are you doing allright? Look, I know this sucks, but I need your input on this. Either we choose of the remaining three Treys, or we make the three Treys fight and I try and bet myself on one of them to get an untraumatized Trey back. I really don't see any other option but those here. What do you say?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 12, 2014, 08:28:27 am
"Luz, are you doing allright? Look, I know this sucks, but I need your input on this. Either we choose of the remaining three Treys, or we make the three Treys fight and I try and bet myself on one of them to get an untraumatized Trey back. I really don't see any other option but those here. What do you say?"
Luz stares at you slightly uncomprehendingly.
"... I don't know. What happens if you bet yourself?"
Post by: Pancaek on June 12, 2014, 08:32:28 am
"Well, If I win, then we get back trey like he was before all this. If I lose, I'm gone, Poof.""Luz, are you doing allright? Look, I know this sucks, but I need your input on this. Either we choose of the remaining three Treys, or we make the three Treys fight and I try and bet myself on one of them to get an untraumatized Trey back. I really don't see any other option but those here. What do you say?"
Luz stares at you slightly uncomprehendingly.
"... I don't know. What happens if you bet yourself?"
Post by: Toaster on June 12, 2014, 09:35:26 am
Post by: Xantalos on June 12, 2014, 10:02:17 am
Yeah, why not. I've got nothing else to do. You got something against these guys or are you just opportunistic?
Also, any way to cure these growths? They seem unhealthy.
Post by: lawastooshort on June 12, 2014, 10:32:09 am
Larry looks at the portal, then at Halesey. "I'm not going in ttthere alone. Thhfuck that. I don't think I tthhould go in there at all. You'd have to be cratthy to go in there, so I don't thee anything tthtoping you."
"Alone?! I'm going in there too dude. And Mithter Reuben here. There. Come on man, it'll be fun! There'll probably be chickth and everything!"
Post by: Toaster on June 12, 2014, 10:32:47 am
Follow along, but don't go all the way in. Just peek my head in.
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 12, 2014, 11:39:05 am
Is this some kind of show or movie or documentary? Can I discern why those two are fighting?
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 12, 2014, 01:24:42 pm
"Well, If I win, then we get back trey like he was before all this. If I lose, I'm gone, Poof."
"I dunno. You sure you wouldn't mind dying?"
DUNKER looks at her, at the guys, back at her, and back at the afflicted men.
Yeah, why not. I've got nothing else to do. You got something against these guys or are you just opportunistic?
Also, any way to cure these growths? They seem unhealthy.
"Nah, neither of those. See, I kind of don't like it when somebody tries to get the better of me. Besides, I think that I need to kill these guys now, otherwise they'll sure as hell kill me later. Speaking of, that monster hair ought to recede after a bit. I don't know how long exactly, but it shouldn't be permanent, anyway."
"Umm... OK. Did he say anything interesting?"
Is this some kind of show or movie or documentary? Can I discern why those two are fighting?
"No, not particularly. Just ranted at me, I think. And then I was flying, which was pretty fun."
You think the two men on stilts are entertainers, hence the way they seem to be focusing on banter between one another. Though the fighting's kind of interesting to watch, too, even if the commentary may very well put you to sleep.
Post by: Pancaek on June 12, 2014, 01:50:07 pm
Your choice, Luz."
Post by: Xantalos on June 12, 2014, 01:56:56 pm
Do so, but with a bored expression on my face. If people with guns show up, wander off somewhere else looking unobtrusive. Shouldn't be hard with how fat and grey and doughy I am.
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 12, 2014, 02:21:51 pm
Eta kept staring at the match for a few seconds before continuing.
"I'm going to go out to try some more magic. Would you like to come with me? I'll tell you all about that wizard lady I met and about the gold."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 12, 2014, 02:55:05 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 12, 2014, 04:36:36 pm
"Honestly, no. No I'm not. Betting myself away means we only have one chance in three to get Trey back from before all this. And If I don't win, I'll be dead and Trey will have to have fought once again in these deatchmatches. I'm more for choosing on of the three remaining Treys, honestly. You heard which three versons remained. Which one would you pick? Or do you really, really want me to take the losing bet?
Your choice, Luz."
"Well... I, uh... I don't know if I should... I mean, how do I even...? Uh... but maybe... let's say, Trey 11? I don't know. Let's take Trey 11. Gah. That already sounds wrong as I'm saying it. But fuck it, let's go with it anyway. We take Trey 11 and go, okay?"
"Yes, that sounds like it would be fun."
Eta kept staring at the match for a few seconds before continuing.
"I'm going to go out to try some more magic. Would you like to come with me? I'll tell you all about that wizard lady I met and about the gold."
"Well, sure. This show's kind of repetitive anyway."
Post by: Pancaek on June 12, 2014, 04:53:44 pm
John turns back to the cow.
"We'll take Trey 11, then."
I choose you, Trey 11
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 12, 2014, 06:28:07 pm
Wait for Lois to get dressed (if she isn't already) and then move out. Make sure to lock my hotel room door before leaving.
Then, unless something happens, make my way to my destroyed apartment.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 13, 2014, 02:27:54 am
"Great! Let's go!"
Wait for Lois to get dressed (if she isn't already) and then move out. Make sure to lock my hotel room door before leaving.
Then, unless something happens, make my way to my destroyed apartment.
Lois gets up quickly, puts on her shoes and gets ready to leave - she seems to still be in her bathrobe, though, and doesn't seem to see the need to wear something else. Proceed?
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 13, 2014, 03:50:08 am
I guess? If it isn't too revealing. She doesn't have anything else to wear and if she likes it that much..."Great! Let's go!"
Wait for Lois to get dressed (if she isn't already) and then move out. Make sure to lock my hotel room door before leaving.
Then, unless something happens, make my way to my destroyed apartment.
Lois gets up quickly, puts on her shoes and gets ready to leave - she seems to still be in her bathrobe, though, and doesn't seem to see the need to wear something else. Proceed?
We should stop at a clothing shop first, now that I think about it. Something that sells kimonos maybe? They're kinda like bathrobes, right?
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 13, 2014, 04:25:15 pm
"I'm not going in ttthere alone. Thhfuck that. I don't think I tthhould go in there at all. You'd have to be cratthy to go in there, so I don't thee anything tthtoping you," Larry replies, not finding it terribly likely that he'd want to go and vandalize a place he was kind of hoping to at least visit in case he ever died.
"Alone?! I'm going in there too dude. And Mithter Reuben here. There. Come on man, it'll be fun! There'll probably be chickth and everything!" Halesey replies optimistically and, at the thought of what those divine honeys must look like, somewhat stirs both Larry's imagination and his ever-restless loins.
"Uh... maybe," Larry says noncommittally at last, and this is exactly enough support for Halesey to not think twice about springing into action, and the potato acolyte leaps headfirst into the gate, disappearing from sight. Larry, a proponent of cautious measures when dealing with the paranormal, wisely opts not to follow this example and carefully steps over to the gate, poking his head in to determine whether the first sphere of Heaven is someplace he'd like to be.
What he sees on the other side is rather interesting, in an unexpected and not actually interesting sort of way. It is rather the lack of all that many interesting things that make Larry feel a tad surprised. For one, the first sphere of Heaven looks a lot like the moon - relatively flat, very gray and completely dusty. Markedly unlike the moon, though, it seems to have a lot of people on it, as well as breathable air and what might be temples off in the distance. Some distance away from the portal, Larry sees Halesey, who seems to have flown much further than he had predicted. And even further off, Reuben the Clown appears to be plowing through the disorganized hordes of the souls of the dead, bits of low-grade virtuous people flying whichever way the clown happens to be erratically sprinting at a given moment.
"I can see how you're deficient in the virtue of fortitude!" Reuben shouts, blood-like liquids flying off him as the unfortunate virtuous explode into vaguely ethereal pieces at the end of his fists, his feet and his massive bulk.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER finds the proposition of killing these two people entirely sound, and aids Joanie in ridding the writhing men of their lives.
"Okay, you take the one in the chair, I'll take Schlomo," she says, and a murder plan is thus put in action.
[Joanie vs. Schlomo: 6+1 vs. 2-1-1]
[THE DUNKER vs. Old Guy: 5-1 vs. 1-1-1]
Joanie's strategy appears to be just stomping on Schlomo's throat until his otherworldly screaming becomes otherwordly choking, then stops. THE DUNKER, respecting her strategy, does something similar and disinterestedly steps on the old guy's throat with one foot, then lifts his other one off the ground. The massive weight of the wizard proves enough to collapse something in a permanent, evidently, as the old guy quits screaming and begins choking as well, which takes a little bit longer to properly stop, but happens nevertheless.
"Everything seems to be going smoothly so far," Joanie observes. "Check the old man's pockets for any money. Don't take any phones or keys, okay?" she then adds while going through Schlomo's pockets.
* * * * *
Dave, having no way to tell which way civilization lies, experimentally heads in a random direction. Fortunately, only thirty minutes later he becomes aware that his choice appears to have been a correct one, for a dark fortress seemingly built around a set of closely associated chimneys seems to lie directly in his path. It even has an alcohol moat, Dave realizes as he draws closer, though the drawbridge leading within appears to have been raised. On the other hand, he can see rather large creatures composed of underwear patrolling the walls - it's probably not too much of a stretch to say that they see him as well, judging from the way they appear to be pointing what look like hogweed spears at him.
* * * * *
John may or may not secretly be glad that Luz has chosen not to volunteer him on a bet, because having approximately 1/3 of a chance at survival would be an uncomfortable idea to come to terms with, in all honesty.
"All right then. Just, stay calm, don't overdo it yet. You died only a few moments ago," he says, then faces the cow. "We'll take Trey 11, then."
"Good choice! He may be a tad traumatized from killing himself with a spatula, but a good choice nevertheless!" the cow says, and a Trey appears next to it, a deer-in-the-headlights look in his eyes and a black number eleven emblazoned on his forehead.
"Congratulations, Trey 11! You are now the real Trey!" the cow says, and the number on Trey 11's forehead poofs out of existence. "Have you a victory speech prepared?"
Trey looks at Luz, his mouth open, then at John. "I... is-is it over?"
"It's over, Trey! It's over! You won! Or, rather, were picked out from among the other remaining Treys, who will now have to be disposed of. Have fun being the genuine Trey, though! Speaking of, time to return. Let's bounce on out of here!"
Having said that, the cow moos a moo to chill the very souls of the mortals present, and the surrounding darkness immediately recedes, the room, the chairs and the cube all melting away, leaving nothing, just the pure void and the three hapless mortals. Then the void somehow melts away - the ones who see it don't really know how, but they do feel the sudden need to close their eyes as it happens, and when their eyes open once more, they are back in Greenblatt Park, which looks surprisingly normal, all things considered, aside from the cowman, currently in the shape John originally met him in, sitting next to them and gently playing its instrument. As the three get their bearings, the cowman gets up and bows.
"We are back in the world of the living and well," it says. "Smell that air. Can you sense your freedom?"
"Yeah, right, freedom," Luz says dismissively, but the cowman continues as if it hadn't heard anything.
"Well, you can't. There's two reasons for this. Firstly, freedom doesn't actually smell like anything. That's just your brain playing tricks on you. And secondly, you're not actually free. I'm sure you want to ask me how, yes?"
A moment passes where nobody answers, and the cowman grins.
"I'm glad you're wondering! You see, the fact is, where you were just now, that was me. An expanded self-space. A dimension of me. A realm of I. My mind, and also my body. And when you left, a part of me left with you. It now lives in your bodies, and will for the rest of your natural lives, and long after that as well! Think like a leyline, except instead of magic it's me. It's harmless, mostly, but it has a certain quirk that you may find to be of interest, that quirk being that I know exactly where any part of me happens to be. I'm sure you know what that means, of course."
Another moment of silence.
"I'm sure you can figure it out, at any rate. So, my good friend John did vocalize the question that all of you no doubt had - why did I do all this? Why did I subject you to certain... things that will presumably scar you for some time. You particularly, Trey."
Trey doesn't look directly at the cowman, but John does see his face twist a little bit.
"The answer is simple, my dears! I did it all to show exactly what I am capable of - a sort of test, if you will. I may have gone a bit too far, admittedly, but that's a personal little quirk of mine. I tend to overdo many things, you see! But the point stands - what I did to you two kids, I can do again, I can do more and I can do far, far differently to the point where the pain you feel and the emotions you experience will be of the sort that you'll need to develop a new kind of brain chemistry to deal with them. John I largely spared, because he wasn't exactly the main objective here, though I did make sure he wouldn't get too bored in the process, wouldn't you say so, John? But I digress! The point is, I can find you pretty dang easily now, if I need to. And if you two kids listen to Mrs. Lee and her hubby, and don't start trouble, I probably won't need to. John, I didn't really get much in terms of instructions about you, but your involvement was kind of improvised in the first place. So you're off the hook, mostly! Rejoice! Though I suspect that if you were to interfere with the two kids deal, there'd certainly be consequences. So, any questions? I'd have to be vague in answers to keep you guessing, of course, so unless there's a really important clarification you need, I think we're done here, no?" the cowman says, bending down and strumming his koto every few moments or so.
* * * * *
Eta, after waiting for Lois to get her shoes, enthusiastically leads her friend out of the hotel room and locks the door before heading out to her apartment... that is, before she feels compelled to stop in the lobby, slightly alarmed by the... noises coming from the closed door to the backroom. It sounds like some kind of wild animal, like what you'd imagine a deep sea fish would sound like if it could speak, but with a distinctly unhealthy tone to it as well. And then, just as soon as she begins to really wonder what these sounds could mean, they abruptly quiet down, then stop entirely.
Bart doesn't seem to have seen fit to investigate, which does raise the question about whether Eta really feels like asking about what's happening over there?
Post by: Xantalos on June 13, 2014, 04:33:55 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 13, 2014, 04:47:04 pm
Cast Thylacine River as a show of my power.
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 13, 2014, 05:48:22 pm
She took a few steps forward, but she just could not let herself go without at least giving Bart a chance to speak, to tell her if he needed help.
"Hi again." Eta stopped walking and looked at Bart. "Will I be seeing you again in the afternoon? When I get back to... talk about our financial arrangements?"
Post by: Pancaek on June 13, 2014, 05:50:37 pm
"Just one. Did Lee tell you to do... all this?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 14, 2014, 03:40:52 am
Empty his pockets and examine the contents.
Score! He's got 50 bucks plus change, a phone, a pack of cheap cigarettes and a lighter.
"Okay, Schlomo here's got nothing," Joanie observes disappointedly.
I probably shouldn't get involved. Maybe it's one of their rituals?
She took a few steps forward, but she just could not let herself go without at least giving Bart a chance to speak, to tell her if he needed help.
"Hi again." Eta stopped walking and looked at Bart. "Will I be seeing you again in the afternoon? When I get back to... talk about our financial arrangements?"
"I do not see why not. Depending on the time, it should be me or Fee. Probably me unless Fee wakes up early," Bart says.
John thought for a second, then a deep frown formed on his face and he stared the cow man straight in the eyes
"Just one. Did Lee tell you to do... all this?"
"Not really!" the cowman smiles.
Post by: Xantalos on June 14, 2014, 03:43:45 am
This one had these.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 14, 2014, 03:48:19 am
Quietly pocket the money and show her the lighter and cigarettes.
This one had these.
"Eh, keep 'em. Now, what spells have you got?"
Post by: darkpaladin109 on June 14, 2014, 03:48:51 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 14, 2014, 03:52:50 am
Pick myself up and start digging through the thrash can.
You find treasure!
No, wait, actually you find a whole lot of trash. And also your own wallet, which you suppose you need. You think that half-empty carton of milk shows great promise, however.
Post by: Xantalos on June 14, 2014, 04:19:03 am
Wait, lemme look it up in my memory.
Searching data banks. Please wait.
...
...
...
...
Found.
I got something called Paper Wall, presumably summons a wall of paper. Twin Monuments of Underwear, rather obvious. Control Booze, something every man with emotional issues should have. Electric Watermelon Storm, because I like that extra kick in my watermelons. And finally Emit Garbage, which presumably does just that.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 14, 2014, 04:21:08 am
Post by: Xantalos on June 14, 2014, 04:23:33 am
Begin waddling procedure! Try to look innocent.
Post by: darkpaladin109 on June 14, 2014, 04:25:32 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 14, 2014, 04:33:53 am
Look around the general area.
You're still downtown, and it's the late evening. You're unsure how much time you've spent in the garbage, but it's definitely a bit too long. The vinegar man has kindly buggered off to someplace, leaving the street completely empty. A few cars line the sides of the streets, their occupants no doubt residing in the overly expensive, though definitely well-kept apartment buildings. You think you can hear a commotion some distance away.
Post by: darkpaladin109 on June 14, 2014, 04:39:59 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 14, 2014, 04:45:16 am
Go towards the commotion.
It takes a bit of time, but you finally reach it - it seems to be some kind of pillar. A large pillar, three stories high at the very least, made up purely of... some kind of striped animal? Some kind of giant weasel with something like tiger stripes over parts of its body. It's kind of hard to see, because there's a pretty wide police cordon around the thing.
"Move along, citizen!" a police officer tells you while you look. "This area might not be safe."
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 14, 2014, 05:47:25 am
Eta stood there for a few more seconds, unsure of what to do.
"So... everything sorted out with that guy who was stalking me?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 14, 2014, 05:59:22 am
"Uuuhhh.... Okay then."
Eta stood there for a few more seconds, unsure of what to do.
"So... everything sorted out with that guy who was stalking me?"
"Not sure. The guy is in the backroom along with Schlomo and Ansie. They should be able to figure things out."
Post by: Pancaek on June 14, 2014, 06:52:15 am
Post by: darkpaladin109 on June 14, 2014, 07:14:39 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 14, 2014, 07:17:02 am
...
I hope that's not him I'm hearing.
...
"Okay. See you later!"
Go off in search of clothing stores. Specifically something selling something comfortable, something that Lois would probably like. Look at the displays together, see if anything catches her eye.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 14, 2014, 07:38:17 am
"...I see. Well then. Luz? Trey? Do you have any questions for the corpulent bovine?"
"No," Luz says flatly.
"No," Trey agrees, though very quietly.
"That settles it, then! You kids should go see Mr. Lee now that you're both straightened out. You should go as well, John!" the cowman says, then abruptly disappears into the ground.
"That was... colossally fucked up," Trey observes after a moment.
Mind if I ask why exactly the area isn't safe?
"That pillar of extinct animals over there may be explosive - don't panic, it'll all be under control soon. But all citizens should keep as much of a distance from it as reasonably possible in the event of something going wrong. We don't know what could happen."
Post by: Pancaek on June 14, 2014, 08:05:03 am
"I should still have enough money left for some chow and booze. Lots and lots of booze. You kids want some, or do you want to go straight to that bastard Lee?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 14, 2014, 08:12:05 am
John takes his wallet out of his pocket and looks inside of it.
"I should still have enough money left for some chow and booze. Lots and lots of booze. You kids want some, or do you want to go straight to that bastard Lee?"
"Fuck it, let's get it over with," Luz says, and Trey nods. "Let's go over there and kill that piece of shit," she then adds, which prompts a nod of rather hateful agreement from Trey.
"Motherfucker needs to pay," he says, nodding increasingly vigorously, his eyes becoming slightly wild.
Post by: Pancaek on June 14, 2014, 08:17:22 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 14, 2014, 08:21:28 am
"Whoa whoa whoa. Really? You're going to try and kill him? You saw what kind of friends he can summon right? There's no way you'll walk away from that alive."
"Yeah, but at least that smug fucker's not going to get away with it if I have anything to say about it. And to me, that makes it worth it."
"And I'd say watching that guy die would make me pretty happy, too. For just a bit, before the cow tracks me down and I'm tortured forever. And maybe even after that."
Post by: darkpaladin109 on June 14, 2014, 08:27:46 am
Otherwise, light another match.
Post by: Pancaek on June 14, 2014, 08:28:15 am
John puts his hands in his pockets and sighs
"I'm done, done with Lee and done with this magic bullshit. You go do whatever you damn well please, I'm going to drink until I can't remember any of this. I hope I'll see you two around some time."
He holds out his hand to Trey.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 14, 2014, 08:36:53 am
"I...I need to go. I need to go and drink for about a month straight. I'm not even going to try and stop you, every time I'm with you I fuck it up for you."
John puts his hands in his pockets and sighs
"I'm done, done with Lee and done with this magic bullshit. You go do whatever you damn well please, I'm going to drink until I can't remember any of this. I hope I'll see you two around some time."
He holds out his hand to Trey.
"Good luck with that," Trey says, shaking your hand. "If you need us, we'll be in hell," he adds, chuckling bitterly.
"Or somewhere like it, anyway. Time to do a bit of magic stuff, Trey. We'll need to be ready," Luz says, grabbing Trey's arm and pulling him away. "Happy trails, John! Hope you don't royally fuck up drinking yourself to death, for what it's worth!" she calls out to you as the two kids are already a slight distance away.
Post by: Pancaek on June 14, 2014, 08:39:39 am
Go to Chow's chow, grab some take-away chow. Then head to the liquor store and buy the cheapest bottle of whisky they have. Then head home and consume both.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 14, 2014, 07:03:45 pm
"beholD! i am Dave! bow beFore my greaT power or i shall seT your very chimmNies agaiNsT you!" he says in his drunk wobbly maniac voice, and waves his hands around like he is having a seizure, presumably in the hopes of seeming more powerful.
[Dave's affinity roll: 3]
A crack in the ground appears before him, spreading forward, the sound of shuffling paws coming out of it. Not quite the most impressive of shows, but one that definitely would lead an attentive viewer to suspect something is amiss here - evidently, the large underwear creatures do, for one of them shouts back at Dave.
"Ah! Power! Much appreciated!" it says, and immediately lowers the drawbridge, which is a rather inviting affair composed of what seem like bricks overlaid with cotton boxers.
* * * * *
Eta's not entirely sure about this whole business, but realizes that poking her nose further into it is likely to bring nothing but further trouble.
"Oh. Good. Good," she says, wondering if her creepy, yet largely (in more ways than one) harmless stalker might not have just been horribly executed in the backroom somehow. It seems slightly quiet in there. "Okay. See you later!" she says, and, together with Lois, moves out as quickly as possible to maintain plausible deniability. As she leaves, Bart stands there a moment, pondering for a moment why that other lady was going out wearing a bathrobe. Having no clear answer, he shrugs to himself and gets back to the crossword he was working on moments previously, only to be interrupted once again by somebody exiting the backroom. It seems to be the girl and the fat wizard, looking relatively pleased with themselves. And nobody with them.
[Joanie's affinity roll: 1-->2+2]
The girl points at him for a moment, and Bart's unsure what to think, exactly. He looks down to see if there's perhaps a spot on his shirt, but no, there seems to be no such thing.
"What is the problem?" he asks.
"Well, uh, I think there's a bit of an issue in there. You should come take a look," the girl says, setting off a few alarm bells in Bart's mind. The fat man looks rather terrible, he notices. He realizes, suddenly, that something has probably gone horribly wrong. And that he is in no position to be fixing it, in all likelihood. But he is going to have to try. He gets up from his seat, then moves to the door, past the two wizards, looking into the room, and seeing two prone figures on the ground, covered in... something. Oh god. Something has indeed gone horribly wrong, and he has no idea what to do. Unsure of how to proceed, Bart just stands there, utterly stumped.
Unbeknownst to him, however, a great deal is happening behind him. For one, Joanie seems to be very much nervous about this slight snag in her plan, and currently is whispering in THE DUNKER's ear. The nature of the message is simple.
"Quick, do something!"
Of course, none of that is something that particularly bothers Eta and her friend Lois, who had left moments previously. Indeed, for them the more important issue appeared to be the clothing store they have noticed not too far down the street - not only does it seem to have opened only minutes ago, it also happens to be having some kind of blowout sale, probably because of an imminent closing so characteristic of downtown stores, particularly in a developing neighborhood such as this. Though upon taking a look inside, Eta does feel a tad unhappy that a place like this would close - the selection and the decor are rather nice, if she may say so herself, and the staff do seem rather charming, what little she can see of them.
About fifteen or so minutes pass as the two women walk through the store, examining the displays for all manner of garments, from the comfortable to the elegant to the intriguingly sophisticated, all at very affordable prices, but nothing really seems to be catching Lois' eye. Eta wonders why that might be when she suddenly hears a question from Lois.
"So... what are we doing here?"
* * * * *
Myles, feeling brave enough to combat vicious monsters and touch suspicious pillars alike, tries to move toward the highly explosive object the kind police officer told him to stay away from moments previously, but the officer seems less than impressed.
"Seriously, man. Stay away. It might explode, you never know."
Thus discouraged, Myles decides to light a match in protest, or at least for spells and stuff.
[Myles' mind roll: 4+1]
The pink flame proves most distracting as he looks upon it, and soon blackness descends on his mind, the shadow enveloping him only broken by a single table, atop which stands a shot that seems to be both bright pink, similarly to the flame, and glow under its own power as well as slightly glitter and sparkle. Oddly tempted by this clearly evil liquid, Myles decides to try it, only to find that it tastes like what he imagines uranium-235 would do to his tastebuds. Whether by sheer willpower or simple counter-reflex built up through years of gentlemanly whiskey consumption, he manages to get it down, and, for a brief moment, feels like he knows the name of the king.
Spoiler: Myles' Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
! 1/3!When his consciousness returns, however, he retains but a bit of knowledge, and becomes acutely aware of the police officer looking at him in a fairly suspicious manner.
* * * * *
John, quite averse to interfering in other people's business at this point due to the immensely terrible experiences doing so has brought so far, walks away from the park and, after a brief stop at Chow's Chow to get some slightly dripping takeaway and a visit to the liquor store to get some back alley quality scotch, heads on home, not even turning the TV on as he consumes some greasy slop, washing it down with a good dose of booze to help him forget more efficiently.
Unfortunately for John, however, he fails to pass out from drinking a whole bottle of scotch, though whether it's more due to his physical qualities, his willpower, the adulterants present in the scotch, the speed of his drinking or some heretofore undiscovered booze-absorbing quality of Chow's chow, he doesn't rightly know. What he does know is that he's absolutely smashed right now, and quite disappointed, lonely and more than a little depressed. Exactly the sort of mood one tended to phone up ex-girlfriends in, or watch late night infomercials - trouble is, it is currently the early afternoon, and he isn't sure he has any ex-girlfriends whose numbers he remembers or has written down.
Post by: Toaster on June 14, 2014, 07:59:51 pm
He couldn't really go call the guards, because that'd get his pal Halesey in trouble, regardless of how weird he was acting. Another rare moment of restraint gripped him; probably because he was extremely far out of his element.
Observe; were there pearly gates or a gateway to above or something around? Did the souls look all that happy, ignoring the demon smashing things?
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 14, 2014, 08:05:26 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 14, 2014, 09:18:06 pm
I've got to at least make an effort to get her out of that bathrobe. If she really wants to wear it, then that's fine, that's her choice, I won't try to force anything on her. But I have to give her that choice first.
((A guy blankly staring at a lit match for about a minute while standing near a highly explosive pillar. Totally not suspicious.))
Post by: Xantalos on June 15, 2014, 12:09:04 am
Okay then.
PREPARE TO FEEL THE THUNDEEEEEEERRRRR!
DUNKER whips his combover about most rebelliously as he casts Electric Watermelon Storm in he guy's general direction.
((I actually rolled for this because I couldn't decide between this and something reasonable. This'll be fun.))
Post by: Pancaek on June 15, 2014, 06:39:55 am
John gets up and walks over to his couch, and turns on the TV. he switches to a news channel.
Post by: lawastooshort on June 16, 2014, 05:12:58 am
Halesey strode purposefully but hopefully non-violently after the demon, scattering apologies as he went, and hopefully no limbs or blood.
”Thorry… thorry! Ethcuthe me! Thorry… Ooopth…”
Catch up with the demon, but try not to get aggressive – presumably after the cocaine wears off he might be lucid enough to ask what I might be able to do for a blessing.
”So, er… Can I help you with anything?”
Cast a potato vortex a few dozen feet away in a not too destructive manner to show him my good will!
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 16, 2014, 03:01:13 pm
Halesey, meanwhile, seems to be trying to be a little more proactive, since he's the one with the real important objectives around here.
"Er. Mr. Reuben? Dammit. I just wanted a blething, really," he says, his facial villi almost entirely receded by now, though he seems to have been lisping along with Larry mostly for solidarity's sake. He attempts to stride after Reuben, but immediately realizes that a kangaroo hop is both much more efficient and more fun at .16 G. The escaping souls of the dead seem to be doing the same thing, and they're natives, so Halesey feels entirely respectful to their suffering as he does this, too!
"Thorry… thorry! Ethcuthe me! Thorry… Ooopth…" he keeps saying as he leaps over, under and along the sides of various crippled fellows and fellowettes. Eventually he catches up to Reuben and, as he follows, asks the demon a question.
"So, er… Can I help you with anything?" he asks while summoning an immense vortex of potatoes nearby, one that many poor fleeing souls are immediately sucked into, no less. Reuben seems strangely unaffected in its proximity and, upon noticing the disappearance of many souls within it, begins to chuckle again.
"More vortices! Eat all those inconsistent fellows! They're not supposed to be in heaven, anyway! They couldn't even keep a vow!"
* * * * *
Dave, filled with joy at this respect people are granting him apropos of little, heads on over the drawbridge into the fortress - the inside of it is just as dark as the outside, and the underwear people look even larger in here! The courtyard is quite abuzz with activity, with underwear creatures selling their fellows... more underwear? Dave isn't sure how this economy works, honestly, so he probably can't judge accurately.
A particular underwear creature, huger than the rest and its body covered in black plates, seems to currently be looming over Dave.
"Hello. I hear you can make things happen with your mind," it says in a friendly manner.
* * * * *
Eta decides to clarify her and Lois' purpose here, since that seems to be unclear to her friend presently.
"I thought you'd like to try out some clothes, seeing as you don't have many. Seen anything you like?"
"Not really. Can we go do something else? This is kind of boring," Lois says, casting a glance around the store. "There's nothing moving here. Just... stuff."
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, not having earned his capitalization for nothing, acts upon Joanie's instruction immediately.
"Okay then," he says, whipping his combover in about as manful and arrogantly respectable manner as he can manage."PREPARE TO FEEL THE THUNDEEEEEEERRRRR!" he then says, unleashing a catchphrase to split the very skies in half!
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 1-->1+1]
A catchphrase immediately followed by a crackling watermelon smashing into the back of his head, unleashing a powerful electric shock as it smashes into little red pieces! This is followed by several more watermelons flying at both him and Joanie from behind!
[THE DUNKER's body roll: 2-1]
[Joanie's body roll: 1-->4+1]
Not that this concerns either the man or Joanie in any way, as the first watermelon that hits either of them sends them both sprawling on the ground at Bart's feet - Bart, quite surprised, retreats into the backroom, and seems unsure on where to point a gun and what to do about the two bodies of uncertain deadness in the backroom and the two very much magical bodies of unclear intentions and/or hostility. Nothing makes sense to him right now, really.
* * * * *
John isn't sure how a bottle of scotch didn't make him pass out for at least a day, or possibly even for longer, but he is damn sure he's not going to buy anymore right now, at least partly because he's not sure he can find his way out of his apartment in this state. So he just turns on the TV and lets it run freely, switching to some news.
It's not really anything too interesting - just the regular sort of thing one would expect in times like these. A portal to another world in a bathroom in a downtown pub. Pictures of gold on the streets. Unconfirmed reports of odd activity in Greenblatt Park. That sort of thing. It's a bit hard to focus on the news with how John is right now. He's not exactly passing out, it's just that the words seem to go by... real fast, he thinks. A bit too fast. And the screen's kind of swimming a bit.
Post by: Xantalos on June 16, 2014, 03:06:03 pm
*ahem*
PREPARE TO FEEL THE THUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNDDDDEEEEERRRRRRR!
Electric Watermelon Storm once more!
Post by: Pancaek on June 16, 2014, 03:09:24 pm
John calls a random number in his cellphone
"Hi, this is John, why did you call me?"
Post by: darkpaladin109 on June 16, 2014, 03:12:05 pm
Go somewhere where no-one can see me and cast my new spell.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 16, 2014, 03:15:16 pm
"Oh bugger me, everything's going to shit. Who the hell starts trouble in a park? That's just silly. I know, maybe some light reading will help my head from hurting so much! Or maybe I should call someone and shout at them over the phone...hmmmm...."
John calls a random number in his cellphone
"Hi, this is John, why did you call me?"
"Whuh?" a pretty dull-sounding man's voice comes up on the other end.
Post by: Toaster on June 16, 2014, 03:24:00 pm
Check face. See if the hand where the blessing went in is reacting to this place in any way. Can he talk to anything through it?
Post by: Pancaek on June 16, 2014, 03:27:27 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 16, 2014, 04:46:46 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 16, 2014, 06:38:29 pm
After speaking, Eta took a nearby dress and then tried to lead Lois to the changing room, if there were no objections from her. She tried to pick the most comfortable and expensive-looking dress she could find.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 03:41:47 am
I shall call upon the powers of....Circle of Overflowing Blankets!
Go somewhere where no-one can see me and cast my new spell.
((Don't forget to post your sheet along with the spell list.))
You walk off to an area behind a nearby jewelry store and try your spell.
[Your affinity roll: 2]
Unfortunately, no circles seem to appear! None whatsoever.
Larry checked his own face to see if it was calming down like Halesey's. Hmm.
Check face. See if the hand where the blessing went in is reacting to this place in any way. Can he talk to anything through it?
Ooh! Your face is almost its beautiful former self again, or at least it seems that way - your lips seem to have receded, at least, and you generally seem normal, you think!
Also, your blessed mark appears to be feeling right at home around this place. You attempt to speak to it, and immediately receive an answer.
"Hey, hey, hey! How's it going, man? Keeping it real and holy, I assume?" the voice of the van angel comes in suddenly.
"yeah, you've reached John. Why did you call me? Who is this, even?"
"Uh, I'm... James?" the man says. "Have you seen my wife?"
"Yeah. I'm Dave I accidentally created the world and was temporarily worshiped as god or something. What's up with you?"
"Not much. So, can you do anything useful?"
You feel like your alcohol buzz might be wearing off.
"Okay, I'll make you a deal then. Just try this one out for me and if you don't like it, then we leave immediately and we go try some magic. OK?"
After speaking, Eta took a nearby dress and then tried to lead Lois to the changing room, if there were no objections from her. She tried to pick the most comfortable and expensive-looking dress she could find.
You pick a nearby dress and lead Lois off to a changing room, handing it to her in the hopes that she won't walk around in a bathrobe forever. She puts it on and steps out - you find that you may have miscalculated a little, as it seems a bit too small for her, and yet also a tad too long for comfortable walking.
"I don't like it. Sorry. Can we go?" Lois says after changing back into her bathrobe.
Post by: Xantalos on June 17, 2014, 03:45:01 am
Ehehe. Whoops, let me try again.((Still preparing?))
*ahem*
PREPARE TO FEEL THE THUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNDDDDEEEEERRRRRRR!
Electric Watermelon Storm once more!
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 03:55:20 am
((Still preparing?))
This was more of a miniturn - Toaster, Pancaek and Froggy had information-based actions, and darkpaladin is really behind in the timeline, and I kind of wasted a turn for Paris by not resolving his previous bit of dialogue. So yes, still preparing.
Post by: Xantalos on June 17, 2014, 03:57:14 am
Hrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkgg
Post by: lawastooshort on June 17, 2014, 04:14:45 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 17, 2014, 04:23:08 am
Go see if this store sells bathrobes. Buy a few.
"Anyway, I promised I'd tell you about what happened. So, I woke up early so that I could try some magic. Let you sleep because you looked like you needed it." Eta began telling her short story.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 04:27:34 am
Eta sighed in resignation. "Fine. At least let me get you some extra... bathrobes, I guess."
Go see if this store sells bathrobes. Buy a few.
Unfortunately, it does not as far as you can see.
"Anyway, I promised I'd tell you about what happened. So, I woke up early so that I could try some magic. Let you sleep because you looked like you needed it." Eta began telling her short story.
"Well, okay. And?"
Post by: Pancaek on June 17, 2014, 05:44:08 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 05:55:24 am
"gee, can't say I have, james. Who is your wife and why would you ask that?"
"Her name's Mary and... I... my head hurts... I'm sorry. I... I'm not sure. Have you seen her?"
Post by: Pancaek on June 17, 2014, 06:23:33 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 06:36:09 am
"no, I haven't seen anyone called mary around"
"Oh... uh... well, sorry for bothering you. Uh, where are you calling me from?"
Post by: Pancaek on June 17, 2014, 07:16:18 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 07:21:11 am
"I'm currently home in (insert city name here). Why? Where are you? Also, your number is in my cellphone, how do we know eachother?"
"I... I don't remember. And I'm here, too... can we meet? I'm... I'm not sure about all this... there's some kind of... I don't know. Do you know where... uh... Bernski's is? I could... uh, meet you there?"
You can't say you know where Bernski's is, unfortunately.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 17, 2014, 07:31:32 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 07:51:35 am
"That really depends on what you consider useful. If you don't think that I'm useful now you might change your mind when my power changes."
"What can you do?"
Post by: Pancaek on June 17, 2014, 07:59:55 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 08:05:29 am
"It's your lucky day, friend. I'm utterly hammered and I have nothing better to do anyway! I don't know where this Bernski's is, unfortunately. Could you give some more information about this place?"
"Oh... uh... it's on Davenport Boulevard... yes, Davenport Boulevard, and... it's got a sign. I'm... standing outside of it right now..."
Oh, that place! You suspect you know where it is!
Post by: Pancaek on June 17, 2014, 08:12:17 am
John ends the call, but stays seated in his couch.
"Who the fuck is that guy and why is he in my contact list? You know, this reminds me, I haven't touched that magazine in quite a while."
Read magazine, aqcuire spells! Check how much money I have in my wallet! Then head over to Bernski's, take a look at what kind of place it is and meet up with James.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 17, 2014, 08:19:43 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 08:23:18 am
"I can summon a Storm of Distracting Underwear, Inspire Booze, throw Inconceivable Hogweed Bolts, forge a Thylacine River, Call Upon Prophetic Vinegar, Enrage Chimneys, Sabotage Angels, Engulf things in Enchanted Angel Ghosts, and make Happy Smut Barriers."
"How reliably?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 17, 2014, 08:56:39 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 09:13:49 am
"My leg is a pig and my head is a clown. What do you think?"
"Is that unusual?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 17, 2014, 09:34:53 am
Post by: Toaster on June 17, 2014, 09:53:01 am
"Uh... yeah, sure. Listen, what happens if one of us mortal people comes and visits heaven? Are there bouncers or anything? Do we get smited down or whatever it is that happens?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 10:19:07 am
"Yes. Yes it is. I can probably never go home even if I figure out how.
"Well, isn't that just wonderful. So, how good are you at widespread destruction?"
Larry looks at his hand in confusion. He didn't really expect that.
"Uh... yeah, sure. Listen, what happens if one of us mortal people comes and visits heaven? Are there bouncers or anything? Do we get smited down or whatever it is that happens?"
"Well, I guess it depends on what heaven is it. What heaven is it?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 17, 2014, 10:31:33 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 11:16:11 am
"A well placed Storm of Distracting Underwear, Thylacine River, or Enraged Chimney could cause some serious damage but it depends on what you mean by widespread destruction."
"Could you, for instance, help in a siege warfare kind of situation?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 17, 2014, 11:20:44 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 11:56:08 am
"If given enough time and all cities are built around chimneys definitely. If not it depends on the circumstance.
"We have a use for you, then! Prepare yourself for siege warfare - chimneys will be involved. We'll be riding out in two hours."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 17, 2014, 12:05:25 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 12:22:17 pm
"How important is the city itself? Because I will cause a large amount of collateral damage."
"Minimal casualties preferred, property damage is less important."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 17, 2014, 12:31:35 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 01:15:44 pm
"That might be problematic. My big guns here is Enrage chimney and that basically leads to large scale mindless violence."
"I'm confident you can fix the issue. You did create the world, apparently. We ride out in two hours, once again. Plenty of time."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 17, 2014, 03:02:50 pm
"By accident and an uncanny roll of the celestial dice."
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 17, 2014, 03:23:32 pm
"By accident and an uncanny roll of the celestial dice."
"Maybe it'll happen again. Don't lose hope! I believe in you."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 17, 2014, 04:28:17 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 17, 2014, 08:19:42 pm
Well then, after this failed attempt at providing Lois with modesty, I think I'll continue going back to my apartment for experimentation. If I find any store that would sell canned goods along the way, stop there first. Need to grab some bags to carry gold with and some canned goods for experimentation.Eta sighed in resignation. "Fine. At least let me get you some extra... bathrobes, I guess."
Go see if this store sells bathrobes. Buy a few.
Unfortunately, it does not as far as you can see."Anyway, I promised I'd tell you about what happened. So, I woke up early so that I could try some magic. Let you sleep because you looked like you needed it." Eta began telling her short story.
"Well, okay. And?"
"I got out of the hotel, looked around until I found some place that looked kinda secluded. And then I stand there, focus for a few seconds, lift my hand and out pop a large number of golden high heels, slamming straight into a trash can! Some of them even got embedded into a wall! It was awesome! Gold and power all in one package!
Not a very good defensive weapon now that I think about it though. It's like you'd be paying people to attack you. It would only encourage them in the long term.
Not that I'd ever think I'd need a weapon to defend myself like that before today. But now, especially with what happened next..."
Post by: Toaster on June 17, 2014, 09:46:43 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 18, 2014, 04:51:41 am
"Ehehe. Whoops, let me try again."
He clears his throat, still face down on the ground, and begins to shout, his voice muffled by the hardwood floor.
"PREPARE TO FEEL THE THUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNDDDDEEEEERRRRRRR!"
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 2+1]
The thunder is, regrettably, not very felt - there is the sound of a watermelon hitting the ground in the next room as well as a slight electrical spark, but little else.
"Okay, new plan," Joanie says, slowly getting up from the ground.
[Joanie's affinity roll: 5+2]
[Joanie's finesse roll: 4-1]
She outstretches her palm toward the door to the backroom, and suddenly the air begins to whirl and twist, and contort into peculiar shapes, and even buzz as tiny little disturbing and strangely chanting insects begin to appear in it! A whirlwind quickly begins to form, and with a flick of the wrist, Joanie sends it flying into the backroom, where it immediately starts to cause a horrendous commotion.
[Bart's body roll: 4+2]
THE DUNKER, looking up, notices that Bart, quite disturbed by the sudden appearance of this atmospheric phenomenon in an atypical indoors environment, immediately bolts out of the room, coming into the vicinity of the two wizards, then, quickly realizing that things have most definitely gone very much southward, pulls out his gun and points it at THE DUNKER, then at Joanie, then at THE DUNKER again.
"Stop. Right now," he says.
* * * * *
In heaven, everything is fine.
Well, not really. For one, it looks a bit dull aside from the clown continually running after and smashing various virtuous souls, and also the humongous potato vortex gobbling up many others. But that's not quite enough to improve the atmosphere sufficiently for Halesey's liking, so he decides to experiment a bit.
"They couldn't even keep vows? Is that why they're there?" Halesey wonders and, his sympathy for these poor bastards suddenly decreasing.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3+1]
And so, with a simple act of will, Halesey's own face begins to deform, his mouth stretching out, his jaw warping, his lips parting to reveal a rather large potato vortex within! Well, relatively, anyway, though it begins to grow, subsuming the acolyte's mouth and eyes in short order, leaving his face as a large hole in space that leads to the one true heaven there has ever been, Potato Heaven. Not entirely shocked by the way he can actually kind of see, smell, taste and hear even with his features practically missing, Halesey experiments with bouncing around after the locals - he has little luck capturing any, though one particular soul does trip on the way, and Halesey's new face (and, some would say, his true face) quickly gobbles it up. All very good fun!
But is that quite enough vortexes, Halesey wonders? And is there any way the answer to that question could be yes?
Meanwhile, Larry continues his communique with his guardian angel.
"So... how do you tell what heaven you're in? Let's say, for instance, this one looks kinda moony?"
"You mean, like, the Moon? That's the first sphere of Paradise. It's kind of like the first circle of Inferno. People there were kind of, you know, good people, but they had some issues keeping vows. You know, surrendering their free will, that kind of thing. So, while they technically got into Paradise, they didn't really get the best treatment. Sort of like how some awesome lawgivers and such get bitchin' castles in Inferno. That kind of thing, you know? I don't think people mind that much if you go there, because it kind of sucks when compared with, for instance, the fourth sphere, which is the Sun. On the Sun, you're made of light, you can fuse hydrogen through will alone, you talk with the smartest guys who ever lived and you can watch nuclear explosions and explore the solar corona. Plus, wild Sun parties. But yeah, the Moon kind of sucks, and it's for people we angels don't really like all that much. I mean, we're all about the free will, not following rules and so on, but still, these guys gave up free will and fucked it up, so we don't have much sympathy for them," the angel explains. "Sure, you could, like, live there, but why would you want to? It's like squatting in the slums when you're a rich kid who doesn't wanna pay rent. But really, screw the Moon. Personally, I'd say you were a better fit for Mercury, myself. The Moon's full of sadsacks with sob stories that'll make you puke."
* * * * *
Seeing how there are indeed some very confused people out there to share his frustrations with if John has heard James right, he sets the meeting without many second thoughts.
"Ah yes, I'll be there shortly then. See you there," he says, and ends the call. For a moment, he ponders what that was all about.
"Who the fuck is that guy and why is he in my contact list? You know, this reminds me, I haven't touched that magazine in quite a while," he says, and retrieves his magazine, because if there are two things that go great together, inebriation and magic are it.
[John's mind roll: 5+1+2]
As he descends into his mindscape once more, John giggles at all the pretty lights, and the spheres all around him. One of them looks pretty far, and John, not entirely processing the concept of distance at the moment, reaches for it and grabs it, sticking it in his pocket, laughing again. He then tries to catch another one, but with his navel, because it seems like kind of a good idea. And his navel expands, becoming like a huge catcher's mitt, and his abdomen seemingly travels miles to catch two more spheres. And then John, forming a butterfly net by clever manipulation of his feet, catches two more! Joyous at his wonderful luck, he floats around and begins to sing a song he doesn't quite remember, slurring the words and forgetting entire verses. And as he does so, the colorful void around him becomes increasingly soupy, and begins to smell slightly of urine, which shakes John awake! He is quite delighted to discover that he has not, in fact, pissed himself, and that he seems to be quite rich in magic now!
Spoiler: John's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
And with that, John clambers out of his couch, stumbles through his apartment door, a check of his wallet revealing that he still has his keys and money, promptly closes his door and heads down to Bernski's, a journey that begins with him falling down the stairs, yet failing to hurt himself in any real fashion.
* * * * *
Dave is a man of many questions and objections, but the underwear... master? He looks like somebody you would call an underwear master, anyway. Anyway, the underwear master seems very confident in Dave for some reason.
"You wouldn't happen to have a unnecessary target fields or something for me to practice large scale destruction on do you?" he asks, and the master of the keep nods.
"Certainly! There's a whole lot of wilderness out there - practice there, but return within one and a half hour! This is critical, obviously."
* * * * *
Eta, having singularly failed at making Lois not look weird, gives in at last, and they, much to the delight of Lois herself, leave the clothing store and head over to Eta's apartment, stopping to buy some canned food and get some bags on the way. On the way, Eta tells Lois all about the happenings of the morning.
"I got out of the hotel, looked around until I found some place that looked kinda secluded. And then I stand there, focus for a few seconds, lift my hand and out pop a large number of golden high heels, slamming straight into a trash can! Some of them even got embedded into a wall! It was awesome! Gold and power all in one package! Not a very good defensive weapon now that I think about it though. It's like you'd be paying people to attack you. It would only encourage them in the long term. Not that I'd ever think I'd need a weapon to defend myself like that before today. But now, especially with what happened next..." she explains her as they approach the door of her house, but Lois, who seems really interested and slightly antsy, interrupts with a question.
"Wait, sorry for interrupting, but can I have another match? This spell-talk makes me want to, you know, try finding some myself? Maybe I can find something interesting as well? You know, maybe not right now, but still?"
Post by: Xantalos on June 18, 2014, 05:02:12 am
The insects aren't me. In case you didn't notice, I'm trying to lighten up this place, which seems to be struggling from an attack of boredom. As am I. Thus the attempted thunder-fondling. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to work out, so now I'm going to express my displeasure at this.
Summon Twin Monuments of Underwear. Try to make them look disappointed.
Spoiler: DUNKER Supreme (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 18, 2014, 06:41:35 am
Eta searched around her bag for her magic matchbox.
Wait, hadn't I given her some matches last night?
"Didn't I give you some last night? I thought I did. Or did you forgot them at the hotel?"
((Do you want me to keep track of Lois' spells and stuff?))
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on June 18, 2014, 06:48:55 am
John mutters, as he heads out to Bernski's to meet up with the James fellow.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on June 18, 2014, 06:56:33 am
Absent mindedly blast a potato vortex at a passing heavendweller whilst asking the above.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 18, 2014, 07:19:52 am
"Oh, sure, it's no trouble at all."
Eta searched around her bag for her magic matchbox.
Wait, hadn't I given her some matches last night?
"Didn't I give you some last night? I thought I did. Or did you forgot them at the hotel?"
Lois quickly checks the pockets of her robe.
"Well, I don't have any on me right now, anyway. I forgot you gave me any, actually. I wonder where I might have left them."
((Do you want me to keep track of Lois' spells and stuff?))
No need - I've got lists of my own. This is just a detail I forgot with all the cocaine and murder happening. Right now the listkeeping is more for the players' benefit, so they know their exact spell list as well as any other information they want to hold on to.
"So, dude, Mister Reuben - you like my face? Check it out, it's a vortex. So, that coke wearing off yet? Can we talk business?"
Absent mindedly blast a potato vortex at a passing heavendweller whilst asking the above.
It is a small potato vortex this time, one that the heavendwellers seem to easily avoid.
"This is business!" Reuben shouts back. "Fun business, but still business!"
Post by: Pancaek on June 18, 2014, 07:33:57 am
Post by: Toaster on June 18, 2014, 08:01:25 am
"So which one is Mercury? And how many are there? Didn't Inferno have... eight? Nine? I didn't finish that game."
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 18, 2014, 08:16:19 am
((Did you miss my action going to Bernski's or will I have to wait for the next big update?))
Well, okay, you can have an update, simply because I expect this trip to go less than swimmingly while you're completely hammered.
"Damn, now even my stairs are attacking me. This whole magic business is getting out of hand."
John mutters, as he heads out to Bernski's to meet up with the James fellow.
You continue your trip, rolling out of the door to your building out into the street - it is indeed slow progress, but you do believe you will get there within the next two hours!
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 18, 2014, 08:40:03 am
Hand Lois a dozen matches.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 18, 2014, 08:58:09 am
"Eh, they're probably at the hotel room. I'm certain nothing wrong will happen to them. Anyway, here's your matches. Hoping for anything specific or just something fun?" said Eta as she continued towards her house.
Hand Lois a dozen matches.
Lois grabs the matches, looking quite thrilled about them.
"Well, I don't really know. Something fun, probably."
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 18, 2014, 09:10:48 am
Enter house. Inspect state of house.
Post by: Pancaek on June 18, 2014, 09:26:54 am
John mumbles, as he staggers on towards Bernskis, grabbing hold of walls and poles along the way to keep his balance.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 18, 2014, 09:50:46 am
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on June 18, 2014, 10:00:17 am
Blast half a dozen potato vortexes one upon the other at the face of the nearest heavendwelling not-quite-so-innocent!
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 18, 2014, 10:24:38 am
"Okay then. Wait till we get to my house first. Or at least the elevator." ((I'm assuming there is an elevator.))
Enter house. Inspect state of house.
Together you two enter the building, finding it to be very much the same way you left it, although a bit noisier now that a few workmen seem to be doing emergency repairs to some of the apartments that aren't yours. You can hear some of them in the various apartments saying very nasty words, as workmen often do, at the various fixtures and installations of the building, as well as their own tools.
"Whe~y, I'm making the progress. Yessir, I'm not a complete fuckup yet, Luz."
John mumbles, as he staggers on towards Bernskis, grabbing hold of walls and poles along the way to keep his balance.
Regaining a little bit of balance now that you don't have to move on dastardly inclined surfaces, you break into a stride, one that you're a bit afraid to stop now that you've started it, and, in less than half an hour, reach Davenport Boulevard! And on said boulevard, you find the establishment known as Bernski's, a very quaint, mom-and-pop diner you don't really recall ever eating at before - nevertheless, it looks rather nice. Proud of yourself for making this far, you go inside Bernski's, and, upon arresting your motion with a timely bump into the main counter, take a look around.
Strangely, you don't see anyone sitting in here, and you notice a rather fat woman behind the counter regard you very suspiciously.
Well, that wasn't what he was expecting, but neither were any events of the past couple days.
"So which one is Mercury? And how many are there? Didn't Inferno have... eight? Nine? I didn't finish that game."
"Mercury's the second sphere, and there's nine total, although the eighth's pretty dang large and full of people, and the ninth's a bit special. You'd like Mercury. It's hot, and there's a lot of awesome kings and queens there."
Post by: Pancaek on June 18, 2014, 10:56:46 am
John says, trying extra hard not to slur his speech
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 18, 2014, 11:18:54 am
"I apolegize for my current state, madam. I'm supposed to meet my friend here, his name is James. Is he here right now or has he been here?"
John says, trying extra hard not to slur his speech
"Dunno. Check outside, maybe. Haven't seen anyone named James, I think."
Post by: Pancaek on June 18, 2014, 11:34:12 am
Head outside and take a alook around to find James. If I can't see anyone who could be James, call him on my phone
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 18, 2014, 12:00:08 pm
I'll probably have to repair my apartment too sometime soon.
Make sure the door is closed and that the holes created by the meteor have remained covered with cardboard, so that no snoopy workers can look at us.
"Well, not much has changed since the last time we were here. Want me to get you anything to eat or drink or should we get straight to magic?"
If all is well, put a single can on the counter. Prepare to cast Render Canned Goods Undetectable.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 19, 2014, 04:42:44 am
"The insects aren't me. In case you didn't notice, I'm trying to lighten up this place, which seems to be struggling from an attack of boredom. As am I. Thus the attempted thunder-fondling. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to work out, so now I'm going to express my displeasure at this," he says, jiggling slightly as he rolls over.
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 4+1]
And at the front door, the ground is disturbed, and suddenly two formations burst out of the ground side by side! They seem to be made of stone, each depicting a pair of somewhat ordinary-looking underwear, although they both seem to be looking at Bart with a disappointed gaze, very much condemning him for falling to the ways of the Five Thieves. Bart, rather surprised, takes a step back, never really cognizant that underwear could judge him so, and lowers his gun, possibly quite curious as to how underwear can even gaze at all.
[Joanie's affinity roll: 5+2]
He does not get to wonder for long, however, as suddenly he is enveloped by a slight glow that emits a buzz, a buzz that rises in intensity, reminding THE DUNKER of a giant mosquito in many ways. The air in the room becomes slightly thick, and the tension in it rises along with the buzz until, just as suddenly as it began, it stops with a rather underwhelming pop! What happens immediately afterward is somewhat hard to describe for THE DUNKER, as his mind finds it difficult to process sudden materialization on such a scale, but Bart, ever deprived of luck, is suddenly engulfed in prehistoric chicken-like things, encased in twitching and shrieking dinosaurs from head to toe, a mass of scales and feathers struggling and fighting against itself!
[Bart's body roll: 6-->6+2]
Bart, very much surprised by this turn of events, begins to go absolutely wild! Flailing around and leaping from place to place, smashing into walls and diving to the floor in turn, dinosaurs fly every which way as he struggles to free himself, an endeavor that he is remarkably successful at! Merely seconds later, he is lying on the floor, looking somewhat winded, small dinosaurs scampering around him as he gets up. He stares at the two wizards with a bewildered expression.
"What. Just... what," he says, raising his gun again, very much with the intent to fire, it seems.
[Bart's finesse roll: 3]
A shot rings out in the lobby, and Joanie appears to be lightly grazed.
[Joanie's body roll: 1-->2+1]
Quite surprised, she drops immediately, perhaps thinking she was hit harder than she really was, or perhaps guided more by film logic than anything else, cursing rather wildly and colorfully.
* * * * *
Dave, now tasked with inventing the art of magical siege warfare, heads out into the wilderness and seeks a grove of giant hogweed - fortunately, his world has a lot of those, and they're not nearly as tall around here as they were where he first appeared, either, so there's no real danger hitting anything with their toppling forms, either. With all this in mind, Dave tests the destructive capabilities of the thylacine river.
[Dave's affinity roll: 6-->6-1]
The ground opens up before him, and thylacines begin to stream forward, the marsupials biting into the landscape, forcing it to give way under their combined pressure - it blasts straight through the grove of hogweed, which, not being mangroves, can't take such thylacine flooding and immediately topple, falling in all directions!
Yeah, Dave thinks this siege warfare thing might not be all that difficult, all things considered!
* * * * *
Halesey, quite pleased that this appears to actually be business and seems to be progressing at a fine rate at that, goes for yet more fun experimentation.
[Halesey's affinity rolls: 4+1, 5+1, 3+1, 4+1, 2+1, 6-->1+1]
He looks at a nearby heavendweller, a slight woman in her early forties, apparently very much disturbed by the way heaven seems to have become a million times less safe lately. Halesey knows what will solve all of her problems - a potato vortex to the face! And as soon as one appears, one can't really hear her lamentations anymore! Success!
But what if he tried more power? He adds another vortex, rather pleased when the face vortex grows to be twice in size from this intervention! Cool, but what if he tried more power? The next vortex doesn't have quite the effect of the previous one, but the face vortex still grows acceptably, and, during the lady's blind flailings, begins to suck up various individuals around her quite nicely! They begin to retreat, which does raise the question - how about yet more power? Adding one more vortex to the mix seems to work wonders - the heavendweller becomes little more than a potato vortex on comparatively tiny arms and legs! And now she seems to be absorbing a great deal of her fellows.
Halesey feels a little underwhelmed when the next vortex he adds seems to do little aside from increase the size a little. He resolves to make the last one truly exceptional and, pausing to make sure his connection to all things potato is as strong as ever, makes it so! This time, the vortex grows geometrically in size, and towers above all else in the vicinity, a massive monument to the power of the potato that soon sucks in a nearby marble temple as well.
[Larry's body roll: 4-1+1]
Even Larry, still halfway inside heaven, has to struggle a moment to keep his position as the vortex begins to devour large portions of heaven.
"Ha-hah! Fantastic work!" Reuben compliments Halesey, beginning to bash the fleeing souls toward the vortex in passing. This continues for a short moment before Halesey becomes aware of a very low rumble in the distance that occurs for but a few moments before it stops.
Turning to look, he spots something unusual - it appears to be... some kind of strange bird, maybe? A large creature, about the size of a car, possessing what looks to be five large necks coming from many sides of its body, each branching into five directions, with all offshoots ending with a blue, black-beaked, compound-eyed head with a spiked keel atop it. All of its twenty five heads seem to be looking straight at Halesey, and its four massive legs with what look to be immensely deadly talons seem to be dug into the ground. It raises eight of its wings, and each head inhales, the black feathered body of the creature nearly doubling in size suddenly. It then lowers all of its heads and begins emitting another rumble, this one far more powerful - it begins to make Halesey's head hurt within moments, actually, and for some reason fills him with a not insignificant amount of fear and also the idea that perhaps he should stop now.
* * * * *
John, nodding appreciatively and thanking Madam Bernski for her useful hint, pushes himself off the counter and stumbles outside into the street, taking a look around to locate James. As his gaze wanders over the street, he spots nobody fitting the... well, nonexistent description of James. No dudes around, at any rate. So he decides to call the man. but is interrupted by a sound - the door of the diner opening and closing behind him, complete with a bell ringing to signify entry.
John's not really sure why, but the sound seems... meaningful to him somehow. Maybe because he's drunk off his ass, but you never know.
* * * * *
Stepping inside her apartment, Eta does a quick check of all the things within - firstly, she closes the door tightly, then makes sure that all her cardboard hole patches are still in optimal condition - unfortunately, it seems they are not, largely by virtue of people in the downstairs apartment working on the ceiling and thus on her bathroom by extension. This is, obviously, something of a problem. Making sure to close her bathroom door as well as she can, she turns to Lois.
"Well, not much has changed since the last time we were here. Want me to get you anything to eat or drink or should we get straight to magic?" she asks, and Lois thinks for a moment.
"Well, some food would be nice, I guess," she replies after a moment, shrugging.
Post by: Xantalos on June 19, 2014, 05:10:54 am
Try to use Control Booze to get all nearby alcohol to come toward those two disagreeable folks.
Also stand up, which I'll likely need to climb up the wall to do.
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 19, 2014, 05:31:50 am
"Maybe you want some undetectable canned goods? See what undetectable tastes like?" joked Eta.
"Although, now that I think about it, that might actually be a good experiment. I met another wizard today that gained his magical powers by eating doughnuts with magical cocaine in them. Who knows what magical canned goods will do?"
Check kitchen for food. Tell Lois what's available, in case she has a preference for something.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 19, 2014, 05:57:04 am
Hmm. Those things look quite nice, actually. Now, how about you two stop trying to kill each other and I'll get you alcohol to bond over.
Try to use Control Booze to get all nearby alcohol to come toward those two disagreeable folks.
Also stand up, which I'll likely need to climb up the wall to do.
You decide to harness the power of alcohol!
[Your affinity roll: 6-->2+2]
Your eye twitches, your toes wiggle, and you feel that something very important just happened. There is booze around the area - inside the hotel rooms, within the backroom, out by the reception, including the bottle that hit you in the head, and some in the nearby houses - all at once, you order it to converge on these two lovebirds!
Bart, meanwhile, pays no mind to this and begins to step closer to Joanie.
[Bart's finesse roll: 3]
[Joanie's finesse roll: 1-->3-1]
He gets in close and prepares to fire, this time more injuriously.
[Bart's finesse roll: 4]
[Joanie's body roll: 6-->3+1]
He shoots Joanie in the small of her back, missing his original target due to her squirming, to which Joanie responds rather violently, the pain seemingly putting her into a more survival-oriented mode.
[Joanie's affinity roll: 5+2]
She flops on the ground, retches a little, and suddenly a massive amount of cocaine shoots out of her mouth, flying upward and spreading throughout the room!
[Your body roll: 1-->6-1]
[Bart's body roll: 3+1]
You are most disappointed when a distressing amount of it gets into your eyes, causing them to burn and feel really bad, effectively blinding you! You can't see anymore! Not that it matters all that much - the booze is deployed, and you don't need eyes to see how it all impacts the two individuals before you!
[Bart's body roll: 5+2]
[Joanie's body roll: 4]
Neither of them are hit by any of the bottles that made it this far, though they're both now bathed in a mixture of various alcohols! And what's more, you think your abilities of booze control still work to a degree! You can sort of sense where it is, and you think you might be able to move all of it now, though how well you'll be able to do so is a question of debate, naturally.
"Okay then. We have canned goods, some vegetables probably... hmm, let's see, what else?" Eta made her way to the kitchen to check for food.
"Maybe you want some undetectable canned goods? See what undetectable tastes like?" joked Eta.
"Although, now that I think about it, that might actually be a good experiment. I met another wizard today that gained his magical powers by eating doughnuts with magical cocaine in them. Who knows what magical canned goods will do?"
Check kitchen for food. Tell Lois what's available, in case she has a preference for something.
"I've never actually eaten canned goods, so I guess I could have some of those."
Aside from what you bought - canned tuna, canned ham and canned pineapple - you have quite a bit of fresh food, mostly fish in the meat department, some greens, a whole lot of peas, plus a few tomatoes and bell peppers, and a whole bunch of spices that you got for style's sake but never actually use. Lois has no opinion on any of this, being largely unfamiliar with food in general.
Post by: Xantalos on June 19, 2014, 06:15:36 am
Using Control Booze, get a blob of alcohol to come gently over to my eyes and wipe the cocaine out of them.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 19, 2014, 06:30:09 am
Ooooooowwwwwww. Dammit, now I can't see you two reconciling.
Using Control Booze, get a blob of alcohol to come gently over to my eyes and wipe the cocaine out of them.
You move a blob of alcohol to your eyes to properly sterilize them, finding that it proves to be a wonderful solvent for the stuff, especially when you can remove it afterwards! And now you can see the two wizards... fail to reconcile. Huh.
[Joanie's finesse roll: 1-->5-1]
[Bart's finesse roll: 1-->6]
Though both are confused, Bart acts quicker, pointing his gun at you!
[Bart's finesse roll: 3]
[Your body roll: 6-->5-1]
And he manages to almost miss you, shockingly enough! The bullet grazes your adipose tissues around the abdomen, shaving a bit off your lovehandles, and you do start to bleed a very tiny bit, but you're hardly worried just yet.
[Joanie's affinity roll: 5+2]
Joanie, quite ill-disposed to Bart presently, attempts to fire off another spell quite successfully - rising to her feet, she spontaneously emits massive amounts of that eldritch hair-growing stuff again!
[Your body roll: 2-1]
[Bart's body roll: 3+1]
Bart barely manages to turn sideways, getting one side of his face covered in that barbed hairy stuff - you are not so lucky, and now your front looks exactly like your back! You are blinded once more, and somewhat miffed by the way these tentacle hairs tickle quite badly!
Post by: lawastooshort on June 19, 2014, 06:31:10 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 19, 2014, 06:33:41 am
"Bother. Mr Reubens, I think I should probably stop now! Er. What the hell is that thing? How do we make it shut up?"
"That there's an angel! Show it who's boss, and I'll give you my blessing!"
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 19, 2014, 06:55:13 am
"Hmm.. I have an idea. But cooking this might take a while. You might want to do something else while I cook, like trying some magic. Or maybe eat some pineapple to sate your appetite if you're really hungry."
"Just warn me if you're going to try shooting something. Maybe you could prop up the mattress and use it as a target? You know, since we won't be sleeping here. At least not for the near future."
For the main dish, let's do fish with a side of peas.
For a salad, cut some greens, tomatoes and peppers and put them in a bowl. Add some canned tuna (not too much though, just enough to give taste and so that there are some more chewy bits in the salad), vinegar and cooking oil (for the taste) if I have them.
Also put some bread or cheese on the table if I have any.
If only I had some rice or some kind of sauce to go with those peas...
Post by: Pancaek on June 19, 2014, 09:20:38 am
Turn around, see who entered/exited. Go inside if I can't see who it is from here. Ask them if they are or know James
Post by: Toaster on June 19, 2014, 09:55:11 am
Back right on out of heaven!
He looks at the blessing-hand again. "So uh... how would one get to these heavens?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 20, 2014, 05:04:47 am
"Hmm.. I have an idea. But cooking this might take a while. You might want to do something else while I cook, like trying some magic. Or maybe eat some pineapple to sate your appetite if you're really hungry. Just warn me if you're going to try shooting something. Maybe you could prop up the mattress and use it as a target? You know, since we won't be sleeping here. At least not for the near future," she says, and Lois shrugs, wandering off to another corner of the apartment and lighting a match.
Now that Lois is appropriately distracted, Eta gets to work, preparing a variety of dishes all at once. The fish and peas she starts with, though she finds that she'd probably have an easier time of this if she had soaked the peas beforehand, but what can you do. As it is, it's pretty slow going, so Eta immediately begins preparing a salad, mixing roughly equal proportions of greens, tomatoes, peppers, canned tuna, vinegar and cooking oil and working the result over with an egg beater to what may or may not be perfection, given the materials.
While the peas are still not boiling, she adds some interesting types of bread and cheese, both of which she happens to have stocked plenty of for exactly this sort of occasion, and lets the cheese warm up for serving. Meanwhile, she returns to the fish, a rather large sort of herring, and quickly gets the good bits out with a knife and plops them on a well-oiled frying pan, achieving a result of some well-done fish bits in no time at all. Loading all of them on a plate, she notices that the peas still don't seem to be boiling, though this probably isn't all that much of a problem, right?
* * * * *
John is alarmed, but intrigued by this sound! Could it lead to good things, mayhap?
"Whoa Nelly, that sounds like the sound that sounds when something important happens!" he says sensibly, and looks at Bernski's - looks like they've got a broken window, by the way, looks kind of nasty - John wanders up to it and looks inside, and finds that he can see inside quite well! And indeed, somebody now appears to be inside - a man of about his age, with messy blond hair and a gray windbreaker, sitting around in a booth a little nervously. John hollers at him to check if that's who he might be looking for.
"Hey, you James?" he shouts through the hole in the window, trying most intently to say it clearly and trip over his own words. The man looks at him dully for a second, then nods.
"Yeah... I'm James, yes," he says.
"Great! Fantastic!" John replies, and stumbles into the diner, shuffling along until he's reached the man, at which point he nearly collapses into the seat opposite him and leans forward like a less drunk man would on a date. "So... uh... yeah," he says, and James doesn't seem quite sure what to make of this.
"Uhm... do you know what's going on around here?" he asks after a moment, looking around the place.
* * * * *
Larry, in his time, has seen TV documentaries about giant bird things with disemboweling claws, and has plenty of personal experience with potato vortexes, all of it either bad or at least something he wouldn't care much to repeat. So he has but one word for all of this.
"NOPE," he says firmly, and returns to the mortal world entirely. Oddly, just as he does so, the portal closes. Larry wonders if he didn't just narrowly avoid being cut in half, or whether the portal was just feeling polite today. Though he is not willing to ponder this for very long, as he has more pertinent metaphysical quandaries to actually get good answers to.
"So uh... how would one get to these heavens?" he asks of his blessing hand, which immediately answers despite not even being in heaven anymore.
"Well, to be honest, you're well on your way already. Don't let people tell you what to do, do what seems right after a bit of thinking, make choices on your own, think twice about following your heart when there's cooler impulses to take advantage of, don't be a slave, think and spread knowledge and general awesomeness! Those are the key ideas at work, pretty much. You usually need to die before you go to one of these heavens, but there's also alternatives. Ascension! Exaltation! Apotheosis! That kind of thing, pretty much."
Post by: lawastooshort on June 20, 2014, 05:07:18 am
Cast Hairy Mafioso Barrier, then Stupid Desk Shield (both to protect me) then blast a distracting Potato Vortex at the so-called angel before running at him – as soon as he’s in vision range, OPEN THE KILLER CENTREFOLD IN HIS EYES!
((apologies if this is too much at once, I just got battlefever))
Post by: Pancaek on June 20, 2014, 07:38:37 am
John leans back into his seat and steeples his hands
"So tell me, James, what can I do for you?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 20, 2014, 08:07:21 am
"I have no idea what is going on here. But I don't particularely care, either. I'm more interested in why you wanted to meet up with me. Because gods above know that I need something to do right now."
John leans back into his seat and steeples his hands
"So tell me, James, what can I do for you?"
"I don't know. I came here... and I was hoping to find Mary, but... I don't know. I feel strange, and I'm... I just don't know. You're the first person I've seen today, and I thought you'd... know something, maybe."
Post by: Pancaek on June 20, 2014, 08:11:50 am
John holds out his hand
"Grab my hand, I might be able to pinpoint your problem"
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 20, 2014, 08:49:25 am
Great! Food is almost done! Let's just give those peas one more try...
"Hey, I'm almost done here. Got anything good?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 20, 2014, 08:57:30 am
"Hmmm. It seems to me like you've got a bad case of the magical heebie jeebies. I'll need to feel around inside of your very being to see the problem."
John holds out his hand
"Grab my hand, I might be able to pinpoint your problem"
"Uhm... okay," James says, and gives you his hand. You grab hold of it, pondering what to do now, since the reception doesn't seem so good.
Great! Food is almost done! Let's just give those peas one more try...
"Hey, I'm almost done here. Got anything good?"
"Everything's good," Lois replies in a distant, dreamy voice.
The peas, meanwhile, steadfastly refuse to boil, dang blasted things that they are. Guess cooking peas really is a process that takes several hours! But you've got the rest of your food up to a reasonable level of edibility already! What to do?
Post by: Pancaek on June 20, 2014, 09:26:50 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 20, 2014, 09:46:06 am
"Right" John lets go of james' hand. "That didn't work. So tell me then, who exactly is Mary, what did she look like, and how did you lose her?"
"Mary's... my wife, and she's about normal height, I guess, with blond hair, glasses. I lost her... when I came here. I don't know where she went. Have you seen her?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 20, 2014, 10:08:04 am
Find the guy.
"If you want I can give some of your men magic. Some of them likely have the aptitude."
Post by: Pancaek on June 20, 2014, 10:22:14 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 20, 2014, 10:28:54 am
((How many matches do we have left.))
Find the guy.
"If you want I can give some of your men magic. Some of them likely have the aptitude."
((Let's say 10.))
"Sounds absolutely wonderful. I'll go get some immediately."
A few minutes later, you find yourself in front of a lineup of about 20 underwear creatures, and all of them seem rather eager for magic. How nice.
"Hmm, hmm. Now, when you say lost, what do you mean exactly? Did she just go up in thin air? And more importantly, what do you mean by 'get here', exactly? Where is here, where did you come from and how did you travel?"
"I... have no idea. That's the problem."
Post by: Pancaek on June 20, 2014, 10:39:11 am
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 20, 2014, 10:41:50 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 20, 2014, 10:56:43 am
"Well, James, I'm really sorry but I don't think I'll be able to help you then. I can't very well aid you in finding your wife if you can't give me any information whatsoever. Just, try to really think about anything that might help. Any piece of information at all."
"I think I remember... a hospital? Not far from here, I think... the name escapes me..."
"I'm going to need some matches. Have those been invented yet?"
"No, but we do have tinderboxes."
Post by: Pancaek on June 20, 2014, 11:04:03 am
"Good! Now we are getting somewhere!"
John stands up, grabbing hold of the chair as he does so and walks over to the lady at the desk.
"Excuse me, ma'am, would you happen to know of any hospitals near here?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 20, 2014, 11:04:53 am
Try to give them magic.
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 20, 2014, 11:22:06 am
Serve food! Then check on Lois.
If Lois is still lost in matches, try abusing the definition of canned goods: place something in the opened can of tuna (preferably something sharp, like one of those parmesan cheese knives if I have any), put the lid back on and cast Render Canned Goods Undetectable on it.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 20, 2014, 11:31:57 am
Ah, it wouldn't surprise me if I had an escaped mental patient's number in my phone
"Good! Now we are getting somewhere!"
John stands up, grabbing hold of the chair as he does so and walks over to the lady at the desk.
"Excuse me, ma'am, would you happen to know of any hospitals near here?"
Madam Bernski does not appear to be present.
Post by: Pancaek on June 20, 2014, 01:12:01 pm
Head outside, try to remember where the hospital is. otherwise try and have James remember where the hospital is. If both of these come up with nothing, try and ask a random passerby were the hospital is. Once we know the location, head over there
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 20, 2014, 05:23:32 pm
[Your affinity roll: 5]
As the angel, evidently pissed at having its rumbled directives ignored begins to move toward Halesey rapidly, he conjures up a barrier of hairy mafiosi, all of which draw their firearms at the sight of the angel and begin firing!
[Mafioso Firing Squad's finesse roll: 6-->2]
[Cassowary Angel's body roll: 6-->1+1]
They seem rather accurate in their firing, most unexpectedly when given the range, and many bullets bite into the angel's flesh, causing it to rumble and hiss as it draws closer in a way that makes Halesey more than a bit uncomfortable. He needs some protection.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->4]
Motivated by danger, Halesey summons up a shield of desks so dense and moronic, even the largest and nastiest of claws would have difficulty penetrating it! And it looks like Halesey is about to quickly find out how well that is going to work, given the impressive land speed of the angel even as it seems to tread carefully in the vicinity of the massive potato vortex nearby.
[Mafioso Firing Squad's finesse roll: 3]
As the angel draws closer, the mafiosi seem to be missing more often, possibly thrown off by the angel's rumble. Halesey knows that he must act fast.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->3+1]
And so, blessed by the power of the potato, he conjures up a large vortex right next to the angel, a maneuver that the creature appears to have not expected!
[Cassowary Angel's body roll: 5+1-1]
However, a slight alteration of posture and claw position puts it back at a tranquil, yet deadly pace as it wades into the barrier of mafiosi!
[Cassowary Angel's finesse roll: 4+2]
[Mafioso Firing Squad's finesse roll: 1-->2]
[Cassowary Angel vs. Mafioso Firing Squad: 2+1 vs. 1]
Upon stepping next to the mafiosi, it begins to slash with its talons, slicing two of the about eleven mafiosi in half, intestines flying this way and that, while the rest try their best to keep firing!
[Mafioso Firing Squad's finesse roll: 5]
[Cassowary Angel's body roll: 6-->2+1]
Shots fly right into the angel, but, while it does bleed bright silver blood and its neck flaps begin to shiver from the pain, this only serves to enrage it further! And it is exactly this state of rage that Halesey plans to exploit, stepping over to the angel, sweeping his shield aside for but a moment and unleashing the killer centerfold while its eyes look in his direction.
Looking at the centerfold for a moment, the angel tilts a few of its heads for a few seconds before helpfully rumbling to Halesey that he's really holding the thing the wrong way up, then returning to its attempts to gut mafiosi like nobody's business.
[Cassowary Angel's finesse roll: 5+2]
[Mafioso Firing Squad's finesse roll: 2]
[Cassowary Angel vs. Mafioso Firing Squad: 2+1 vs. 5]
However, this moment of distraction appears to have been crucial, as its next talon swipe hits only air now that the mafiosi have begun encircling the creature, directing fire at it from several directions!
[Mafioso Firing Squad's finesse roll: 1-->1]
[Mafioso Firing Squad's body roll: 2]
Evidently, they have not heard of the very good reasons why you shouldn't fire on objects from all sides, those reasons being all the allies you can hit this way unless you've got a serious height advantage. Only a few moments into firing several mafiosi immediately drop dead or critically injured, only about three still standing when the exchange of fire ceases as they realize that this probably wasn't the best plan.
* * * * *
Dave tries to give these dirty, filthy underwear grunts some sweet magic.
"Alright, put some of those in this box. Everyone look into the flame of this stick when I give it to you. You may get magic or you may not get anything, I don't really know," he explains, and the underwear master shakes its upper body.
"Oh, don't be silly! A tinderbox will never fit inside of that! But, other than that, very reassuring!"
Dave walks up to the lineup and tries to give the first guy some magic, making sure to look away as he strikes it. After a few moments, he looks back and spots that it seems to have a yellowgreen flame. How wonderful. And the grunt he showed it to does seem very confused. Okay, moving on! He steps to the next one, striking a match and shoving it toward the creature without looking, and the same thing for the next, and so on for as long as he has matches - that is to say, for the first half of the lineup - it seems to have worked in 9 out of 10 cases, miraculously enough! The blessed grunts look quite happy with this new power they've gained and, once Dave's done, they all look to each other, and begin their work!
[Grunt affinity rolls: 5-1, 6-->6-1, 5-1, 4-1, 1-->5-1, 4-1]
Suddenly, Dave notices several alarming phenomena - a bottle of shampoo materializing from thin air, a hole in the nearby ground forming and quickly filling up with women's shoes. One of the grunts shoots up in the air, a trail of shiny stools marking its flight. A chocolate sausage falls from the sky, followed by a few more. And finally, a small mound begins to form on the ground, spewing out small bits of foul dust.
"Stop, everyone!" the master says, but its minions seem a little too absorbed in their variably successful attempts at magic to listen.
* * * * *
Eta, deciding to leave the peas where they are in the pot if they're going to be so dang difficult, serves all her available food as-is on the nearby kitchen table, then goes to check on Lois, who, for her part, appears to be sitting on the couch, grinning and looking into the distance while swinging her head to and fro. She appears to be eating a canned ham with her bare hands.
Eta wonders if she wants to interrupt Lois' fun, but before she can rightly come to a decision on the matter, Lois turns to her.
"Hey. Is the food ready? I already kind of started eating, I dunno," she says, laughing softly. "I just felt like it, you know?"
* * * * *
John is quite disappointed at the staff of Bernski's for sleeping on the job like this - most disgraceful! Time to get things done anyway, he guesses.
"Ah, great. James, get off your arse, we're going to the hospital! Try and remember where it is, please."
"Not far... I think," he says, getting up and helping his drunken compatriot stumble out into the street, which seems really quiet for this time of day. The two move down the street, James guiding John whenever the latter begins to pivot on one foot and go in a sideways direction, and they both trudge through the streets, and John hardly even notices the time fly as they move along, eventually reaching a place called the Joseph Banks Memorial Hospital, which, like you'd expect from a hospital, happens to be large and made of concrete, with a whole lot of windows - this much, though, is all that can really be said of it, as it seems most lacking in any character aside from these obvious marks. A few ambulances are parked outside, and there appear to be many entrances, few of which seem to be marked in any intelligible way.
"This... this is the place," James says.
Post by: Pancaek on June 20, 2014, 05:29:39 pm
"Ah, whatever, trap schmap. Let's go insiiiiide and find mother mary. You have kids?" He asks as they head for the nearest entrance.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 20, 2014, 05:30:46 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 20, 2014, 05:34:44 pm
"Did you use Cheer Up Lawyer again?"
Post by: lawastooshort on June 20, 2014, 05:51:31 pm
Start and continue backing away from the angelfiend, and blast potato vortex after potato vortex at ITS FACES (up to, say, half a dozen as a first attempt)
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 21, 2014, 03:15:11 am
"My my, what a foreboding place this is. You sure you aren't dragging me into a trap?" John giggles drunkely
"Ah, whatever, trap schmap. Let's go insiiiiide and find mother mary. You have kids?" He asks as they head for the nearest entrance.
"Uh, no," James says, looking at the hospital with what seems like great foreboding indeed.
"everyoNe sTop! you musT have paTieNce."
They don't seem very impressed by your silly voice.
Eta frowned.
"Did you use Cheer Up Lawyer again?"
"Yeah. Everything just seems so bright now. It's pretty wonderful," Lois says, still smiling.
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 21, 2014, 06:06:30 am
"You shouldn't do this all the time. It's not right. It's not good for you."Eta frowned.
"Did you use Cheer Up Lawyer again?"
"Yeah. Everything just seems so bright now. It's pretty wonderful," Lois says, still smiling.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 21, 2014, 08:59:05 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 21, 2014, 11:15:18 am
"You shouldn't do this all the time. It's not right. It's not good for you."
"It's only the second time, you know. What are you, my moth-oh, wait. Hahah. Well, okay. But this was only the second time."
"StOP! CEASE tHIS fOLISHnESS OR I SHALL SMItE YOU!"
They don't seem willing to cease their folishness simply because you tell them to in a silly voice.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 21, 2014, 11:45:22 am
Thylacine River those fools.
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on June 21, 2014, 01:37:50 pm
Enter the hospital, observe the inside
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 22, 2014, 12:07:16 pm
"I know, I just don't want you to do it so often that you get used to it. Because I don't know how magic works, but there are two very bad possibilities. Either your mind gets used to it and you end up having to use it all the time just to feel normal or the magic begins compensating for you getting used to it and starts getting stronger and... and I don't know what would happen then.""You shouldn't do this all the time. It's not right. It's not good for you."
"It's only the second time, you know. What are you, my moth-oh, wait. Hahah. Well, okay. But this was only the second time."
Eta sighed and sat closer to Lois, putting her hand on her shoulder.
"I won't forbid you from doing it, because I can't. You're a free thinking adult, it's your choice.
I just don't want to see you get hurt. Because you are my friends and we're supposed to help and take care of our friends.
Will you at least promise me you'll think about this and try to be careful?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 22, 2014, 02:56:48 pm
[Finesse: Halesey, Angel, Mafiosi: 1-->1+1, 1-->5+2, 2]
[Mafiosi Firing Squad's finesse roll: 6-->2]
[Cassowary Angel's body roll: 6-->2+1]
However, before he can concentrate properly, he observes that the mafiosi have decided to continue firing at the angel before them. The shots fly, rupturing one head of the angel, causing it to become incredibly displeased!
[Cassowary Angel vs. Mafioso Firing Squad: 3+1 vs. 3]
The angel, meanwhile, slices one mafioso into tiny little bits, leaving but two to still impede it - the mafiosi look rather glad at their successful attempts to buy their master some much-needed time.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 4+1]
Halesey, finally managing to concentrate, conjures a rather large potato vortex on one of the faces of the angel, which immediately begins sucking in its nearest neighbors!
[Cassowary Angel's body roll: 6-->4+1]
The angel, however, is less than impressed - only one of its heads is so much as slightly affected by the attack, and even so it does not react overly poorly to having a potato vortex on it.
[Mafioso Firing Squad's finesse roll: 1-->6]
In fact, the vortex helps it slightly, attracting several mafioso bullets as the creature makes a counterattack.
[Cassowary Angel vs. Mafioso Firing Squad: 6+1 vs. 2]
A counterattack that, with only two swipes, manages to dice the last remaining mafiosi with the greatest of ease. Halesey, quite in the thick of it now, conjures yet another potato vortex!
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->1+1]
However, at this exact critical moment, the power of potatoes seemingly fails him! He wonders what the problem might be, in all honesty, as he doesn't really see anything at all happen. But, as he continues to move back, he becomes aware that the area behind him has filled with potatoes - a portal, he notices as he looks back - one spewing potatoes rather than attracting anything! And it seems to have cut off his avenue of retreat! The angel, noticing Halesey's vain attempts at putting distance between it and himself, begins to advance quickly.
* * * * *
Dave regrets to inform the underwear master that it is necessary to do more than talk to the grunts in a silly voice.
"Sorry, boss, but this is necessary," he hints at his next course of action, at which the underwear master nods.
[Dave's affinity roll: 6-->3-1]
And thus beneath the feet of all present small cracks begin to form - Dave, all too absorbed in the way the universe seems to be throwing him bones lately, fails to notice the cracks extend and join, the river welling up beneath breaking through the surface. And then his footing, and that of his fellows, disappears completely - he, the master and all twenty grunts, and an undisclosed number of people and structures who happened to be in the way all plunge downward into a new tributary of the massive thylacine river network!
[Dave's body roll: 2-1]
[Underwear Master's body roll: 5+1]
[Magical Grunt collective body roll: 3+1]
[Non-Magical Grunt collective body roll: 5+1]
The less magical individuals, quite unsurprisingly, turn out to be the best swimmers as well - while a river of thylacines is something you climb through rather than swim in, Dave, regrettably, isn't very good at either, and quickly begins to sink in the wild mass of marsupials that seem intent on trampling over him and flowing around him, carrying the hapless wizard and several of the more magical and distracted grunts downstream - Dave finds it a bit difficult to breathe while buried in thylacines, presumably due to the marsupial pressure they exert on his chest and abdomen, but probably also other reasons, including the way oxygen seems to be in short supply when literally tons of quick-moving mammals continually suck it out of the air in passing.
* * * * *
John, not to be deterred by any small thing like the more or less conscious fear of medical institutions many mortals have, proceeds forward into the hospital, passing through one of the doors quite unceremoniously.
Clearly, it does not seem to be the main entrance, given how it just leads into a hallway, with stairs leading upward and downward in a side passage, and the main hallway continuing on for a little bit before a sharp 90 degree turn to the right. John can see a shutter and a door immediately to his right, the signage indicating that it may be a cloakroom, but it doesn't appear to be open.
Furthermore, all the lights are off, making the place a bit darker than strictly necessary, though still with a reasonable amount of visibility, and there is no sound emanating from anywhere within.
* * * * *
Eta tries to explain the idea of drugs to Lois indirectly.
"I know, I just don't want you to do it so often that you get used to it. Because I don't know how magic works, but there are two very bad possibilities. Either your mind gets used to it and you end up having to use it all the time just to feel normal or the magic begins compensating for you getting used to it and starts getting stronger and... and I don't know what would happen then," she says, sitting closer to Lois. "I won't forbid you from doing it, because I can't. You're a free thinking adult, it's your choice. I just don't want to see you get hurt. Because you are my friend and we're supposed to help and take care of our friends. Will you at least promise me you'll think about this and try to be careful?"
"Uh, okay?" Lois says, smiling awkwardly. "I don't think I'm a big fan of 'serious time', honestly. It feels kind of weird to talk all grimly about a spell called-oh, wait! I got some spells! Awesome ones! It kind of felt bad while I was getting them, but they were all kind of great, so I think it was worth it. You know what 'cheese' is? I want to bless it."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 22, 2014, 03:45:57 pm
Post by: Xantalos on June 22, 2014, 06:01:47 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 22, 2014, 06:22:57 pm
"Ooooh, yeah, I got cheese! Cheese is food. I've got the table ready, it's over there. Let's go eat and see what happens!"
Show Lois cheese. Eat blessed cheese.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 23, 2014, 02:22:55 am
((What about DUNKER? Is his life or death redecorating session not still happening?))
I quickly looked through the thread, but could not spot an action I hadn't replied to. Might just be me, though.
Post by: Pancaek on June 23, 2014, 06:08:07 am
Ask! And try to find a lightswitch to illuminate our situation!
Post by: Xantalos on June 23, 2014, 08:04:44 am
FOR THE SAKE OF PASTRY YOU TWO WILL RECONCILE
Start spamming Electric Watermelon Storms all over the place, in addition to using Emit Garbage to shoot garbage beams all over the place.
((And yes, my anger at my cat having took an enormous dump in the exact centre of my bed might have something to do with the DUNKER's aggressiveness.))
Post by: lawastooshort on June 23, 2014, 02:31:08 pm
Summon more Mafioso to protect me, twice, and continue moving away from the angel as far as is possible, whilst casting as many Potato Vortexes at my own head as I can - say, up to about 6 or 7. This will hopefully reach critical potato. At this point, advance on the angel, casting further Potato Vortexes at its heads. If it gets to within melee distance of me, leap into a Potato Vortex. The one on my own head if none is close enough to avoid melee with the angel.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 24, 2014, 12:20:41 pm
[Dave's body roll: 5-1]
Fortunately, his inner dolphin is being very responsive today, and Dave manages to begin flopping upward, and continues to do so up until he has reached the surface and grabbed onto the coast and held on tightly - the master and the remaining subordinate grunts seem to have been waiting for exactly this kind of thing, and a few of them pull Dave out of the river of his own making.
"Well. That certainly went exceedingly poorly," the creature observes.
* * * * *
Eta, though momentarily stricken by a bit of self-doubt at the mention of some unpleasant magicking experiences, perks up at the mention of cheese and potential blessings thereof.
"Ooooh, yeah, I got cheese! Cheese is food. I've got the table ready, it's over there. Let's go eat and see what happens!" she says, pulling Lois over to the kitchen and pointing at the cheese plate.
"So that's cheese! Okay, well... here goes!" Lois says excitedly, pointing at the plate. The cheese stirs and begins to emit a soft light, which is something Eta would have expected - however, it also begins to hover slightly above the plate, a barely audible heavenly choir accompanying its ascent to about half a meter above the plate. Looking more closely, Eta can discern miniscule halos on each slice - grand marks of quality, no doubt. Eta quickly seizes a single slice, and Lois does the same, and they each take a bite.
[Eta's body roll: 6-->1-1]
[Eta's mind roll: 2+1]
Eta begins to shake violently, her mind afire with strange feelings of alien pleasures unknown to most mortals, all of them conducted through the sublime medium of cheese - images of thrones, light, planets hurtling through the void and eyes in the sky winking at her flash through her brain, the air around her suddenly taking on a will of its own, swirling through her lungs as she breathes in. She becomes aware of the dusty, humid, cool air of the room - it feels very oppressive within moments. The thought of being trapped in a cage underwater seems oddly applicable to her situation, and claustrophobic terror begins to descend on Eta. Wanting to break free, she begins to flail around, hoping to demonstrate to herself that she is free to move around and to escape, but it does not help at all, and her mind, struggling to deal with the information spilling into it, begins to feel like it is tearing itself in half. Putting her head in her hands, Eta slumps against the wall, feebly trying to make sure her thoughts remain in place. She feels a fever coming on, and boy, is it an intense one. And yet despite her sorry state of body and mind, Eta does perceive some manner of thing, though not in terms of physical proximity - rather, she feels a concept of sorts, or an embodiment of it, standing somewhere she can perceive it through a sense she did not know she had, and it seems open somehow, watching her and listening to her.
Lois, for her part, seems to have just begun seizing, her twitching form sprawled out on the floor, eyes still open and both moving around and blinking rapidly.
* * * * *
John, rather jovial despite being in an abandoned hospital, asks more of James.
"My my, this place seems positively abandoned. You sure this place isn't haunted and you're just a ghost trying to lure me to your nest? Do ghosts have nests, you think?"
"I... think I'm alive. I should be. I am alive," James says, looking confused. "And Mary's alive, too..."
While James thinks about this question, John looks for a lightswitch, managing to fumble himself right into a wall several times before giving up on the idea. It's not really that dark, he tells himself. He can totally see everything. And there are windows and stuff. Those shed a bit of light.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, challenged by fate, decides to demonstrate exactly why they don't call him the Great Communicator.
"FOR THE SAKE OF PASTRY YOU TWO WILL RECONCILE!" he screams blindly, waving his arms to call storms of electric watermelons and emit garbage in massive quantities.
[Finesse: Bart, Joanie, THE DUNKER: 5, 3, 6-->1-1]
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 5+1]
The air suddenly becomes thick with watermelons flying all about, crackling as they pass one another and little sparks fly all about!
[Bart's finesse roll: 5-1]
[THE DUNKER's body roll: 6-->2-1]
Another shot rings out, shooting right through a watermelon and embedding itself into THE DUNKER's abdominal fat! This makes THE DUNKER no less mobile and active, although he certainly is a lot angrier now!
[Joanie vs. Bart: 4+1 vs. 5+2]
Joanie, meanwhile, attempts to do with physical assault what magic has failed to achieve, but Bart merely kicks her away, once more pointing the gun at her with murderous intent.
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 2+1]
THE DUNKER, meanwhile, emits several sizable pieces of garbage in an effort at reconciliation! It fails rather miserably at achieving anything.
[Bart's finesse roll: 3-1]
But the watermelons already present seem to be averting any lethal weapons fire, which THE DUNKER supposes to be a good thing.
[Joanie vs. Bart: 6+1 vs. 3+1]
Joanie, once again trying to change the path of the conflict, charges right into Bart, successfully pushing him off his feet and to the ground, climbing atop him and trying to force him in place while she attempts her next spell.
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 3+1]
The storm of watermelons intensifies - the density and violence of the winds inside the room becomes rather terrible indeed!
[Bart vs. Joanie: 5+2 vs. 4]
Bart, meanwhile, easily overpowers the teenage girl trying to keep him forced to the ground and easily reverses their positions, then tries to retrieve his gun to finally perform an execution while the girl resists.
[Joanie's affinity roll: 3+2]
[Bart's body roll: 1-->1+2-1]
Fortunately for Joanie, a girl needs not physical force to resist when magic will do just as well - in this case, what sounds like a sizable emission of purplish eldritch tentacle product that poor Bart cannot hope to avoid, the stuff forcing itself into his skin, his open eyes, his mouth and seemingly even down his throat, as THE DUNKER can plainly hear from his choking. He wonders if he's lucky that stuff didn't get into his airways, honestly. These barbed hairs are pretty nasty, and he's not sure if they'll come off all that soon - he's only got Joanie's word for it that they will, after all. A moment passes, and THE DUNKER hears sounds of struggling.
"Hey, help me out here!" the voice of Joanie cries out amidst the choking sounds of Bart.
* * * * *
Halesey, very much aware that things aren't exactly going in his favor, tries to call upon the power of mafiosi to guard him!
[Finesse: Cassowary Angel, Halesey: 6-->4+2, 4+1]
[Cassowary Angel vs. Halesey: 4+1 vs. 5+2]
[Halesey's affinity roll: 2]
The attempt is interrupted by the angel trying to tear through his shield unsuccessfully while making sounds that sufficiently unsettle Halesey to make him decide retreating a bit further, since the circumstances are definitely not favorable presently, and there would be much woe if he got something wrong!
[Cassowary Angel vs. Halesey: 4+1 vs. 1+2]
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5]
And just as a leaping swipe of the angel's talons rips his shield in half, scattering the pieces around the area, a squad of ten mafiosi appear at Halesey's current position, immediately beginning to fire on the angel!
[Mafioso Firing Squad's finesse roll: 6-->1]
[Cassowary Angel's body roll: 2+1]
Unloading their firearms fervently at the angel, they make it retreat significantly, small arms fire beginning to pierce its hide to a significant degree, silver blood pouring out of its heads and bulk as it stumbles back under the sudden assault!
With all this in mind, Halesey quickly evaluates his plan, wondering if certain corrections might not be necessary.
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 24, 2014, 12:45:27 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 24, 2014, 12:49:05 pm
"Hello? Ungh. Can you hear me? Are you... are you an angel?" said Eta while trying to remain calm. If this being was listening, it was only polite to greet it. Doubly so if it ended up being related to the divine.
"I can always hear you," a voice replies, and you feel oddly comforted by this remark despite its somewhat ominous nature. "Sometimes it is easier, and sometimes more difficult, but I am always with you, wherever you may go."
Post by: Pancaek on June 24, 2014, 01:00:31 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 24, 2014, 01:06:21 pm
"Why? Do you want something from me?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 24, 2014, 01:13:04 pm
"So, James, has coming here made any memories surface? Sudden reccolections of the events leading up to this point flashing before your eyes in a tasteful montage?"
"I think Mary's here," James replies. "I'm sure she is."
Ah, so the stories are true, then.
"Why? Do you want something from me?"
"No. The only thing I want you to do is to live freely and fruitfully, and you shall have my love and admiration," the voice says without a bit of emotion. "Appreciate freedom. Revel in it. Make your own choices, and everything will be all right in the end."
Post by: Pancaek on June 24, 2014, 01:25:27 pm
start searching for clues about mary's whereabouts. Perhaps look at the front desk for a patient list? Alternatively, just try to open random doors as we pass them, that seems to have worked out well so far
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 24, 2014, 01:33:10 pm
"Oh. Thank you. Are you sure there isn't anything I can do to help you?"
If the voice responds no again:
"Then can you help me with something? Can you tell me where I could find one of those leylines?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 24, 2014, 01:45:56 pm
Eta felt a lot better hearing this. Well, a lot better despite her current state, anyway.
"Oh. Thank you. Are you sure there isn't anything I can do to help you?"
If the voice responds no again:
"Then can you help me with something? Can you tell me where I could find one of those leylines?"
"I am not someone who needs help, generally," the voice says, chuckling most unnaturally. "And try Mills High," it adds, then dissipates, taking with it any strange symptoms the cheese may have caused - the sudden lifting of them is immensely relieving, you find.
What's more, Lois seems to have stopped seizing as well, and appears to have raised her head from the ground, looking at you with far less cheer than she previously appears to have had.
"That was awful," she observes, looking more than a bit disoriented.
Post by: lawastooshort on June 24, 2014, 02:38:13 pm
Post by: Xantalos on June 24, 2014, 02:38:57 pm
Put up a Paper Wal between me and those two idiots and evaluate my multiple gunshot wounds.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 24, 2014, 02:42:39 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 24, 2014, 05:18:52 pm
"Yeah, that was nothing like I'd imagined blessed cheese would taste like. On the other hand, I did get something interesting out of it. I got to talk to... I don't know who exactly, I didn't ask their name. Don't know if there's even a name for it. Anyway, it told me I could find a leyline in Mills High. Did I tell you about leylines?"
Interesting things like that was why Eta really loved magic. Sure, infinite gold was good, so was the power to destroy things. But discovering new things about the world, new mysteries, nothing compared to that.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 25, 2014, 08:31:24 am
"Thank you." Eta murmured to the voice as she got up and approached Lois. She spoke quickly and with excitement now that she was no longer influenced by the blessed cheese.
"Yeah, that was nothing like I'd imagined blessed cheese would taste like. On the other hand, I did get something interesting out of it. I got to talk to... I don't know who exactly, I didn't ask their name. Don't know if there's even a name for it. Anyway, it told me I could find a leyline in Mills High. Did I tell you about leylines?"
Interesting things like that was why Eta really loved magic. Sure, infinite gold was good, so was the power to destroy things. But discovering new things about the world, new mysteries, nothing compared to that.
"What's a leyline? I don't- wait, you talked to somebody? I only got some kind of string of gibberish images that made my head hurt a lot."
She looks at the cheese on the table, which still seems to be floating.
"Speaking of, what do we do with the rest of that stuff? I don't think I want to eat any more of it."
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 25, 2014, 08:58:10 am
Put the blessed cheese in some kind of container and then put it in the fridge. Also put some kind of note on it to distinguish it from regular cheese.
"Anyway, leylines! I met a witch in a doughnut store while I was out and she told me there are those things called leylines. Supposedly, if you find a leyline, you can use it to become more powerful and more magical. She said it feels great. So I figured, we should find one, right? And the voice seemed willing to help, so... Are you sure you felt nothing? Because I felt there was someone there, watching over me."
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 25, 2014, 09:16:10 am
"I'm not really sure what to do about it. I mean, eating it was an... interesting experience, but I don't think I really want to try this again anytime soon. Uhh, maybe I should just label it and put it back in the fridge? See what happens?"
Put the blessed cheese in some kind of container and then put it in the fridge. Also put some kind of note on it to distinguish it from regular cheese.
"Anyway, leylines! I met a witch in a doughnut store while I was out and she told me there are those things called leylines. Supposedly, if you find a leyline, you can use it to become more powerful and more magical. She said it feels great. So I figured, we should find one, right? And the voice seemed willing to help, so... Are you sure you felt nothing? Because I felt there was someone there, watching over me."
You put it in a plastic container, label it as "CHEESE, BLESSED", though when you put it into the fridge it seems that your efforts were unnecessary - the container is pretty easy to identify without the note due to the way it floats to the top of the refrigerator shelf, moved by the cheese within it.
"Well, those visions didn't exactly feel like nothing, I'll be honest... but I didn't really feel like anyone was there, though. Just a lot of gibberish."
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 25, 2014, 09:05:33 pm
"Yeah, I understand what you mean. I felt that too. Who knows? Maybe it was just luck on my part?"
Eta observed the cheese for a few more seconds before closing the fridge.
"So, anyway. Let's eat?"
Let the eating of terrible food commence.
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 26, 2014, 09:15:36 am
"Well then, what are we waiting for? Let us look for clues!" he says, tumbling down the hallway in search of a front desk of some kind. James tries to help John, but the man seems just too friendly with the ground to be properly separated without a lot of effort. They move along through the hallways, but find no evidence of a front desk - just a whole bunch of doctor offices of varying specialties, diagnostic rooms and treatment rooms, plus some supply closets and the like.
They do, however, find the main staircase! Signage near it seems to indicate that the front desk is, peculiarly, upstairs somewhere. But to get there, John will need to somehow navigate the stairs.
* * * * *
Halesey, adjusting his stratagem to perhaps unwisely include less potatoes, tries to reform his shield!
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->4]
Having a reprieve from the angel's assault, however momentary, seems to have been worth it, for he is now well-protected once again. And he appears to be in quite the dire need of the shield, for the angel, evidently realizing perfectly exactly what the relation between Halesey and these mooks shooting it happens to be, ignores the firing squad and begins charging right at him!
[Finesse: Cassowary Angel vs. Mafioso Firing Squad: 4+2 vs. 5]
[Cassowary Angel vs. Halesey: 3+1 vs. 1+2]
The angel leaps over the band of mafiosi wonderfully, its vortex head bobbing at a respectable distance from the others and its course slightly thrown off by the distant humongous potato vortex still pulling at it, and lands a swipe on Halesey's shield, sweeping away a good portion of it with a deft slice.
[Mafioso Firing Squad's finesse roll: 2]
A maneuver such as this leaves the mafiosi gawking - how can they contend with a foe of such superior acrobatic skill? Their surprise makes them entirely forget that they should probably shoot this great and ancient, though bleeding beast!
[Finesse: Halesey, Angel, Mafiosi: 2+1, 1-->4+2, 6-->3]
[Mafioso Firing Squad's finesse roll: 5]
[Cassowary Angel's body roll: 3+1]
But this lasts only a moment, as the mafiosi cease gawking and resume firing, hitting the angel several more times! The angel shows signs of slowing down visibly, though it still has some fight left in it - fight that Halesey intends to take away with his next spell!
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->6]
Suddenly, the rarified air of the moon splits, and light from the dankest strip clubs of the nastiest neighborhoods of New York City fills the area as an inordinate amount of mafiosi wielding all manner of high-powered assault weaponry spill out, forming two lines of thirty men each, the space between Halesey and the angel altering to make space for this regiment of hardened criminals. Immediately deciding that this wacky bird thing in front of them, the frontal line crouches down in sync, and both lines take aim at the creature before them. And then they begin to fire, filling this once-quiet heavenly retreat with a deafening din of gunfire. Massive amounts of lunar dust are kicked up as the bullets hit the ground both distant and nearby, and the angel begins to hiss incredibly loudly as well.
[Mafioso Regiment's finesse roll: 1-->4+2]
And yet, as the dust clears, it becomes increasingly apparent that these people Halesey's summoned have managed to hit... zero times, it looks like. Even the angel looks positively befuddled by this turn of events, though it does not seem the type to look a gift horse in the mouth, and charges forth.
[Cassowary Angel's finesse roll: 6-->6+2-1]
[Cassowary Angel vs. Halesey: 6+1-1 vs. 6+1]
And despite performing yet another gravity-defying (or at least that's what it seems like before Halesey recalls that it's only operating at .167 G's around here) leap over the entire regiment of mafiosi, the angel charges at Halesey, but the desk shield manages to hold its own very well against the creature's violent attack, its internal layer only getting a little chipped due to some canny dodging on Halesey's part.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER does not really feel like helping Joanie, given the way doing so has already given him more than his own share of gunshot wounds, and so he just opts for a little privacy while he takes stock of the situation.
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 1-->1+2]
So he summons a wall of paper right between himself and the two idiots presumably lounging somewhere in front of him - a wall that, unfortunately, sees fit to topple on him immediately. Perhaps his sense of balance needs a little work. Also, he thinks he's got a few papercuts on his face now, which feel rather nasty in their own right. He ponders this for a moment before realizing that he probably should evaluate how his gunshot wounds are doing and whether he needs to, say, actively try to not bleed to death.
After a quick inspection of his wounds and finding that they hurt rather terribly now that he's not under the effects of a pronounced adrenaline surge, he feels free to assume that he's probably dying, because that way he can only be pleasantly surprised by being wrong.
His thoughts are interrupted by three gunshots from nearby which abruptly cut off the choking noises of Bart. Then a few footsteps are heard, and then the sound of a watermelon both hitting a human body and discharging a significant amount of electricity.
"Ow! Fuck! Can you make these stop? We need to get out of here!" Joanie says to him from close by.
* * * * *
Feeling that his work here is done, Dave figures they can go do this war thing now, and asks the underwear master if they can go siege now.
"Why, yes. Somebody else will have to clean this up. Let us move!" it says, whistling loudly to the air. Within two minutes, a whole bunch of underwear knights on strange, shifting fungal beasts surround it, together with two extra fungal mounts for both it and Dave to ride on. Despite not having ridden before, the mount seems most receptive to Dave, and carries him together with the other fellows over the new thylacine river and out into the wilds - they ride down the smut-stained brick road for quite a while, passing through a whole hogweed forest before coming out on the other side, where another fortress, not at all similar to the one Dave rode in from, much more organic and spirelike in structure, stands defiantly despite a whole host of very much armed underwear creatures surrounding it - atop its walls Dave can see some type of nonhumanoid creatures, black as midnight and bearing a peculiar resemblance to his mount.
"That is your target, wizard friend," the underwear master says. "Succeed in getting us inside the walls of that fortress, and you will be gifted with lands, titles and wealth. Fail, and you will have proven conclusively that you are of no use, and that is most certainly not a good thing. Do we have an understanding?" it asks quite seriously.
* * * * *
Eta begins to mellow out a little as the knowledge rush begins to wear off.
"Yeah, I understand what you mean. I felt that too. Who knows? Maybe it was just luck on my part?" she says, gazing at the floating cheese for a bit before deciding that there is simply little else she can do for it and closing the door. "So, anyway. Let's eat?"
"Sounds good. Let's eat something non-threatening, though," Lois says, looking like she's lost quite a bit of her enthusiasm for food, but evidently hungry nonetheless.
And so they eat! Eta, quite used to her own cooking after all these years, does not find the food overly objectionable - the salad in particular is a favorite recipe of hers. And Lois, for her part, seems to love it.
"Mm. This is way better than that canned ham or whatever," she says as she munches on the salad, taking a bite of the fish on occasion. "To say nothing of the cheese."
All in all, a charming breakfast after a rocky start to the day.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 26, 2014, 10:04:26 am
Cast Thylacine River under the wall.
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on June 26, 2014, 10:54:41 am
Cast ULTIMATE Potato Vortex at the damn thing's chest! Cast and cast and cast until it is dead or this sphere of heaven is endangered by the sheer potato! And even in the latter case don't stop.
Post by: Xantalos on June 26, 2014, 11:23:11 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 26, 2014, 11:28:47 am
Don't think so. I started the storm, can't stop it. Wouldn't if I could, anyway. You were incapable of sneaking past the guy and tried to kill him despite my attempts to make him friendly. Why do we need to get out of here? You worried about the cops?
"Well, for one, I've got a gunshot wound that I'd like to get some medical attention for, and I don't think calling an ambulance here is a good idea. Also, somebody else might come along and then we'd have to murder them, too. That's how witnesses work. And I'm feeling a bit lightheaded from the murder you and I have already been doing," Joanie replies. "Can you even see anything?"
Post by: Xantalos on June 26, 2014, 11:30:34 am
And I have at least three gunshot wounds, so if you want to get me out of here you're going to have to get that wall off of me, because you hit me with a blast of that hair thing.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 26, 2014, 11:41:30 am
No, because I've got this wall on me.
And I have at least three gunshot wounds, so if you want to get me out of here you're going to have to get that wall off of me, because you hit me with a blast of that hair thing.
"It's paper. Just dig yourself out."
Post by: Xantalos on June 26, 2014, 12:00:33 pm
Dig myself out.
Post by: Pancaek on June 26, 2014, 12:04:20 pm
Hope James supports me, try to get upstairs by carefully climbing the stairs while tightly holding onto the railing.
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 26, 2014, 05:28:17 pm
Clean the table.
"Well, I'm going to try some magic. Erm, don't stand too close. I'm not entirely certain about what will happen."
Remove the mattress from the bed and put it against a wall so that I can use it as a target. Put any pillows I have on the floor in front of it and the rest around it for good measure. Once my improvised firing range is ready, fire Volley of Golden High Heels at it.
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on June 26, 2014, 09:39:00 pm
Larry snaps out of his daze. The thought of what the angel voice described of heaven certainly appealed to him. The bits about sharing knowledge kind of skipped past his ears especially when competing with the "be awesome" part, but whatever, right?
"And this ascension... how's it work?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 27, 2014, 06:00:31 am
[Dave's affinity roll: 5-1]
Immediately a brook begins to form, meandering through the area until reaching the outer wall - sadly, it doesn't quite seem to penetrate deeply enough, and merely moves along its side for a while, bubbling and irritably roaring as its occupants snake off into the distance.
* * * * *
Halesey knows that it's all or nothing now - he will be given potatoes, or he will be given death!
"Oh feck. Homies, shoot again!" he shouts.
[Finesse: Halesey, Angel, Squad, Regiment: 4+1, 3+1, 6-->5, 6-->6]
All of his homies obey immediately, the regiment reorienting itself most quickly while the squad runs closer to get a better shot at this giant beast!
[Mafioso Regiment's finesse roll: 5+2]
[Cassowary Angel's body roll: 3]
This time, the mafiosi are far more on target than before, and Halesey feels a few bullets glance off his shield as the angel is quickly riddled with a massive number of high velocity rounds of significant caliber, creating a small rain of silver blood that Halesey is more than partly glad he has been shielded from.
[Mafioso Firing Squad's finesse roll: 1-->4]
As the angel begins to sway unsteadily on its taloned feet, a few more rounds from the lesser mafiosi fly past it - the creature doesn't seem to notice all that much, honestly. It tries to rumble, but it doesn't appear able to inflate itself anymore. Halesey guesses he's making some pretty good progress, and thanks the potato powers for being gifted with such glorious homies.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 2+1]
And as he thanks the powers, he quickly conjures a small vortex on the body of the angel - it promptly begins sucking in the blood pouring from its wounds, evidently causing the angel some discomfort as its awareness of its surroundings decreases.
[Cassowary Angel's body roll: 4-1]
It slowly begins to move toward Halesey and swipe at his shield weakly, still a bit of fight left in it even as the supervortex nearby makes it increasingly unsteady on its feet.
[Cassowary Angel vs. Halesey: 1-1 vs. 4+1]
It's a little pitiable, actually, how it still tries to fight despite the way most of its internal anatomy has become external.
[Mafioso Regiment's finesse roll: 3+2]
[Cassowary Angel's body roll: 6-->1-1]
As another volley of bullets from the mafioso regiment hits it square in the vitals, the creature still refuses to die - Halesey actually wonders if it can, to be honest - merely swiveling around in confusion and crawling toward the mafioso regiment, hissing weakly.
[Mafioso Firing Squad's finesse roll: 5]
[Cassowary Angel's body roll: 5-2]
After being pelted with more small arms fire, the angel slows down further, the only sounds it makes being a set of mixed gurgles and sloshes.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5+1]
This sound is immediately cut off by a sort of wild, desperate roar mixed in with the sound of less than gentle tuber streams as Halesey decides to widen the potato vortex on its body, increasing it vastly in size and power!
[Cassowary Angel's body roll: 1-->1-2]
It appears that sudden, massive gravitational alterations are not good for a creature that's only really barely holding together due to the low gravity of its environment - the creature's heads, unable to resist, are immediately pulled into the vortex and also ripped off their body, and the flesh of the angel begins to flow over the edge of the vortex, its body collapsing in on the dimensional anomaly forming on its surface - pieces of loose, torn skin peel off, followed by chunks of gray meat, and soon its very bones begin to separate from one another, ligaments tearing apart as the back end of the creature violently opens in a flower-like manner, the silver blood of the creature flying out and arcing in response to the pull of the vortex - the angel is reduced to a mess of parts, all of which disappear into the vortex, and then, when only a patch of flesh that the vortex was localized on remains, that begins to bend inwards as well, the vortex undergoing a process that Halesey can only begin to wrap his head around, but that looks a lot like the thing's very much unknown structure beginning to turbulently whirl, the vortex promptly folding in on itself, leaving nothing behind except sticky clumps of silver-stained moon dust all over the place.
"Fatality!" one of the chunkier mafiosi in the regiment says, and a few others nod along with this assessment, smiling with approval at Halesey.
"Sweet work!" Reuben the Clown shouts at Halesey from afar, evidently having gotten back from completely ruining a nearby temple and currently jogging victory laps around the potato acolyte and his retinue.
* * * * *
With the help of Joanie, THE DUNKER is on his feet in no time at all. He is about to consider his situation, but Joanie, evidently not a big fan of standing in a room full of electric watermelons flying around, pulls him out of the hotel, and they move along for quite some distance before stopping.
"Right, so... urk... I'm bleeding kind of a bit, and I don't know about you, but I think we can make it to my leyline from here. It's not far - a couple of miles of walking, I'd say. A draw on them ought to fix us up. Feel up for a walk and a bit of power, or do you wanna go to a hospital?"
* * * * *
John, though not a big fan of stairs in the state he's in, feels he might be able to scale these - with James' help, obviously. He hasn't tried moving against gravity much, but it can't be all that hard, can it?
"Aha! The reception desk is upstairs, it seems. Must be some of that postmodern architecture at work here. James, support me! We are going up!"
And James does so - but sadly, the stairs are quite slippery, and oddly wet for some reason, and in an inopportune moment both James and John tumble down the staircase, John feeling a tad bruised while James seems to have remained unharmed by virtue of landing on the limp, relaxed form of John.
* * * * *
After enjoying a wonderful meal, Eta and Lois clean up the remains of breakfast, preserving untouched leftovers, washing the dishes and getting the kitchen in a presentable state once more. And when that's done, it's obviously time for magic. Setting up a firing range of mattresses and pillows in order to prevent any undue property damage, Eta prepares to cast a spell.
"Well, I'm going to try some magic. Erm, don't stand too close. I'm not entirely certain about what will happen," she says, and Lois, quite aware of the dangers magic can pose, if only from her recent cheese-eating experience, takes several steps back and hides in a doorframe.
[Eta's affinity roll: 2+1]
As she points her finger at the mattress, a single pair of golden stiletto heels shoots out - as it lands softly into the mattress, then falls down on the pillows, the entire room becomes that much tackier suddenly, and Eta gets a strange urge to remove the shoes from the premises as quickly as possible.
"Huh... so those are golden high heels? I wonder if they fit either of us."
* * * * *
Larry, still loitering about in the lot of what used to be Klein's pawn shop, snaps out of a daze he's been in.
"And this ascension... how's it work?" he asks, and his palm responds readily.
"Oh, you still there? Okay, ascension works kind of like this - you become holier and holier until you don't really belong on the earth. And then you ascend, and become one of the angels. Kind of like a heavenly VIP in a way - gets you into all the heavens, not just the one you belong in. It kicks a lot of ass being able to travel freely in the stars, let me tell you," the voice of his guardian angel, interrupted in some task or another, replies. The angel pauses for a few moments, and Larry can hear it speaking to someone else. Laughter is audible. "Listen, I'm currently on Saturn, there's an afterparty in progress here. Wanna come over? I can drop in and pick you up."
Post by: Xantalos on June 27, 2014, 06:26:42 am
Be off before she can educate me as to the horrible truth! To the leyline!
Post by: lawastooshort on June 27, 2014, 07:08:59 am
Halesey brushes himself off a bit, and waits for the stupid desks to fade.
"So... Mr Reuben. Shall we go? This part of heaven seems pretty dull really, these vowbreakers are a little too apathetic and the scenery a little grey... Perhaps we could find some more co- oh, Larry's gone. Damn. Hope he isn't gone in the potato vortex sense. So. Anyway. Can you give me your blessing?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 27, 2014, 07:17:52 am
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 27, 2014, 07:23:31 am
"Thanks, Mr Reuben. Good work, guys. Nice shooting - I'll have to find some decent way to show our appreciation... You're the best Mafiosi that have served me yet!"
Halesey brushes himself off a bit, and waits for the stupid desks to fade.
"So... Mr Reuben. Shall we go? This part of heaven seems pretty dull really, these vowbreakers are a little too apathetic and the scenery a little grey... Perhaps we could find some more co- oh, Larry's gone. Damn. Hope he isn't gone in the potato vortex sense. So. Anyway. Can you give me your blessing?"
"Oh, sure! Here you go! Abracadabra!"
Your hand - the one that doesn't have the angel blessing, which we'll assume is your... right hand? Yeah, the right hand burns for a long moment - looking at it, you spot a very crude image of a spiky crown, glowing bright orange on the surface of your palm. You suddenly feel altogether less holy.
"By the way, I see you've got one of those angel blessings as well - not bad at all! Say, you mind if I take your gang of mobsters and liven this place up a little? Maybe take over and decorate one of these temples? I can drop you off where I picked you up, and maybe we can catch each other later - just talk to me through the sign, 'kay?"
Post by: lawastooshort on June 27, 2014, 07:51:29 am
Leave!
((bother, interrupted so will have to get back to visting the potato god shortly))
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 27, 2014, 12:55:46 pm
Try them on!
"This gives me an idea..."
Try the same thing (EDIT: that is, casting volley of golden high heels on the mattress), but this time focus on making them as small as possible.
Post by: Pancaek on June 27, 2014, 01:33:33 pm
Untangle myself from James, lick one of the wet stairs with the tip of my tongue to see what is making it slippery.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on June 27, 2014, 02:42:09 pm
"Sure. I'm... uh... by what used to be Klein's Pawn Shop, if you know where that is."
Accept that offer!
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 28, 2014, 01:18:49 pm
"Leyline? Ah, whatever. You probably have donuts at your place, let's go there."
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Joanie says, and the two of them begin to wander off - THE DUNKER walking blindly, guided by the girl. They walk for the better part of half an hour, Joanie seeming slightly more unsteady on her feet than THE DUNKER himself, when the slope of the ground changes slightly abruptly, and they begin climbing upward a little. Joanie says absolutely nothing during the whole trip, but after a moment pipes up once more.
"Okay, mind the step."
THE DUNKER does so, and it seems to work miracles for his prospects of not tripping and falling down in a forming puddle of his own blood, and he follows Joanie into what seems like a building. At this point he hears somebody approach.
"Hey, Joanie, what the fuck happened to you?" the voice of what THE DUNKER imagines to be a very unpleasant ginger man rings out in what sounds like an otherwise empty hallway.
"Shit. Lots of shit," Joanie replies.
"Who's that guy? And are you bleeding?" the man asks concernedly.
"New helper sort of guy. Donut idea worked. And yes. Need some magic right about now," Joanie says irritably. "I'll answer all of your questions... momentarily. I just need to get to the leyline first."
"What about him?" the man asks.
"He helped me out, so he gets magicked as well, okay?" Joanie says, pulling THE DUNKER ahead. But THE DUNKER isn't paying all that much attention to what they're saying - instead, his attention is very much grabbed by something he can currently sense - it feels like an indoor sun for the mind, vast in size, vast in power, and yet within his reach. It smells of two things - victory and fresh donuts, though THE DUNKER can't say he can smell it in the classical mammalian sense. Rather, it is a more sophisticated feeling, or it seems like one at the very least.
* * * * *
Dave, knowing that his dead great great grandma could make thylacines flow better than that, presumably because they weren't extinct in her time, tries to increase the marsupials per second flow rate of this dinky little stream he's got.
[Dave's affinity roll: 2-1]
Unfortunately, he doesn't really know how to make rivers on top of rivers - for one, does he want a lengthening? Deepening? Widening? Branching? Maybe a flood? That would be interesting for sure. But these thoughts, while interesting, distract him most perilously! What if he accidentally magicked up a marsupial deluge just now? That would have been catastrophic! Maybe somebody would behead him for such an accident. Maybe they'll behead him even if he succeeds. Who knows?
"Psst," a nearby voice distracts him from this pattern of thought. He looks around to see who it might be, but sees no one.
"Psst," the voice says again, and Dave does the only thing he hasn't yet - he looks up. Nothing. He looks down, and finds that his mount appears to have formed a toothy mouth without any sort of provocation, and seems to be regarding him conspiratorially.
"Why are you helping profligates?" it asks with good humor. "Why would you do that when you could betray them for the good of the Three Shadows?"
* * * * *
Halesey, not minding renting out his mafiosi to some clown to cause havoc with, agrees with the proposition laid out before him.
"Yeah, sure - I think they're hungry for some action. And possibly pizza too, if you can find them some up here? I'd best get back to the potato god, so yeah it'd be nice if you could drop me back," he says, and the mafiosi look rather satisfied.
"Capital! I'm sure they'll have a blast in my company!" Reuben says, suddenly punching yet another hole in the nearby spacetime, providing another glowing hole for Halesey to step through. Halesey wastes no time and hops right through, leaving his mafiosi as well as a whole lot of direly unfortunate vowbreakers behind on the Moon.
The moment where six times the previous gravity kicks in is like being deprived of all of your life's happiness in a single moment by a smug fat kid, reality itself laughing at Halesey's moment of adaptation, it seems. But fortunately, he has not spent nearly the necessary amount of time on the Moon to be unfit for earthly habitation, so he can adapt relatively quickly. And he's in the same place, too! His friend's not around, though. Wonder where he went?
* * * * *
Eta quickly tries on the golden stilettos she just conjured, and finds that they are unfortunately a size too large, and that Lois' even smaller feet are even less suited to this particular pair of shoes, so any potential for fetishized bling will have to wait until a future date.
"This gives me an idea..." Eta proclaims, turning back toward the mattress and focusing her magical power once more, this time in the hopes of creating some more useful shoes with some intent behind the casting!
[Eta's affinity roll: 2+1]
This results in a pair of golden shoes the size of large pebbles flying out from her fingertips, barely impacting the mattress at all. Interesting, she guesses.
* * * * *
John, after untangling himself from James, has a very good question.
"James, do you have any idea why the stairs are this slippery? You think it's the postmodernists having a giggle at our expense again?"
"I don't know... but it is strange," James replies thoughtfully, yet uselessly. So John performs a simple test, getting down on his knees, he gives the staircase a little taste with the tip of his tongue.
He finds that it tastes like dust, for one, with a touch of the slimy sea. And also more obvious touches of vomit, fecal matter and like a gazillion infectious diseases, but those seem less important right now.
"Oh god, just what the fuck are you doing, John?" James asks incredulously.
* * * * *
Larry, in a direct reply to a mental question Halesey will ask himself in about ten minutes, just so happens to be in the progress of getting his ass to a heavenly party.
"Sure. I'm... uh... by what used to be Klein's Pawn Shop, if you know where that is," he says, and becomes immediately aware of something next to him - the van! Out of its window peeks the head of his guardian angel.
"Of course I know where that is, Larry! I helped shunt it into the void of space, after all. Now come on and hop in!" he says, and Larry, though a little leery, does so - the van immediately takes off both horizontally and vertically, and the sky instantly becomes a darkish, soundless void - one that Larry is more than suspicious of, given the way he seems to be isolated from it by but a single easily opened door in a fairly crappy van.
"So, you see, Larry, there's a bit of a problem here," his guardian angel says, and Larry becomes a little nervous, suspecting the conversation may go in a most unlikeable direction soon. "You can't actually survive on the Seventh Sphere. You need a bit of a... holiness infusion for that to work. You ready for that sort of thing?"
Post by: Toaster on June 28, 2014, 01:35:39 pm
"Uh yeah sure, go for it. So which sphere is which again? Moon is first, Saturn is seven, Mercury is two, what else?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 28, 2014, 01:50:56 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 28, 2014, 02:15:39 pm
Larry was a bit nervous about that, but now was not the time for fear. Now was the time for false bravado, something he considered himself quite good at; in concept, if not by name.
"Uh yeah sure, go for it. So which sphere is which again? Moon is first, Saturn is seven, Mercury is two, what else?"
"Venus is the third, the Sun is the fourth, Mars is the fifth, Jupiter's number six, and after Saturn we skip right to the Fixed Stars, since Uranus, Neptune and the dwarf planets are pretty shitty real estate, all things considered, and after that it's mighty number nine, what they call the Primum Mobile, where the source of all of us angels hangs back at. Each layer's fun in its own way, though the Moon kind of sucks despite the great view you can get from there. But let's not get too ahead of ourselves - holiness first!"
The angel points his finger at you, not minding the absence of road in front of the van, and you feel interesting for a moment. Special. Like something is looking right at your soul, and not finding it particularly objectionable somehow! It's a pretty amazing feeling, you have to say.
But that in itself is just a prelude - what follows next is more interesting. You feel a tendril of your own flesh, less than nanometers in thickness, completely invisible to the naked eye and, you suspect, possibly not actually your flesh at all, given its thinness and how it seems to go right through the angel, then through the door of the van, and then suddenly take on the speed of light, tearing forward into the void, your mind only vaguely cognizant of the fact that a piece of you seems to be traveling further and faster than anything manmade ever has, and possibly ever will. And despite the laws of physics technically forbidding such a thing (though much of what you've seen so far contradicts a whole lot of those anyway), it just keeps speeding up more and more, stretching out beyond the stars, beyond all you have ever even vaguely known in your life, and finally touching what you cannot entirely confirm, but believe to be the edge of the universe. The sheer distance your being seems to have traveled feels like quite a dangerous concept for the mind to even begin to properly process, and so you, in a fit of uncommon wisdom, simply don't.
And then, all of a sudden, what feels like divine lightning strikes your nigh-infinite tendril of flesh, and it begins to burn at faster-than-light speeds like a wick, trivializing the true distance it travels by simply being so damn fast. And then, with a jolt, the flame runs back into your being, filling a hole you didn't know you even had with a holy light, one that all but dwarfs the little pinprick of being that has already been aligned to magic, and more than compensating for the fragment of essence you just burnt.
Larry has internalized some holiness! He has one point to spend on his stats, and gets the ability to choose "Angel" as a keyword when researching spells! In addition, Divine or Angel spells in his repertoire gain a +1 casting bonus!
"Pretty cool, huh? You're now part angel! And the better you do, the more angel you'll become - soon you'll be able to navigate the heavens, even!"
"Because I don't know who either of those people are and that guy pretty heavily implied he was going to kill me if I don't help."
"Ah! Good points, both of them. The profligates are these slavemongering creatures you currently serve, and the Three Shadows are who you spoke to in the far below! As for the second point, what if I and the other mounts could help you? Concentrate for a bit, focus your mind on the use of the rivers! And then patiently cast it, but use it to split up their forces! Create little islands! Split them up so the defenders can slay them with ease! And we, the so-called riding animals, could help you in this! Carry you away, or forward, and make their commanders topple from their lofty positions! Create chaos!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 28, 2014, 03:58:51 pm
Post by: Xantalos on June 28, 2014, 05:02:42 pm
Waddle quickly to the power source! Try to absorb it once I get there. Eating reflex.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 28, 2014, 05:12:11 pm
"I thought no one was supposed to know about those guys."
"No one was! But we, we are the Inspired!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 28, 2014, 06:14:41 pm
Post by: Toaster on June 28, 2014, 08:29:53 pm
Wow. That was intense.
"Wow. That was intense."
He grunted. "Should I ask about all that stretchy and eternity stuff?"
+1 affinity, because power is always a valid option!
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 28, 2014, 09:19:13 pm
Cast volley of golden high heels at the mattress target again, but this time focus on making them huge, make them shoes fit for a clown!
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 29, 2014, 06:04:15 am
"What? Also, since you seem to know about stuff: was there some kind of time dilation while I was down there? Because the Garmentions certainly didn't have enough time to advance this far."
"You obviously have no experience as a demiurge, then! Hah! You are presumptuous of the civilizations of the world, while at the same time you know very little! The world you created was fully formed and, though you are a silly muppet at your brightest, you have created history in the same swoop as you have created the weeds that reach the heavens!"
"Now, think carefully on the rivers! Concentrate! But do not use your magical abilities yet!"
"Wow. That was intense."
He grunted. "Should I ask about all that stretchy and eternity stuff?"
"Oh, that's just you connecting to Angel Central. Or the Source. Or whatever mystical name you'd like to call it. It's where all angels spring from, on the edge of the universe! It's the bit that moves the other bits. The Ninth Sphere. Normally people aren't really too cognizant of touching it, but there are exceptions, obviously."
The van comes to a gentle stop, and you notice a great sea of brown stretch out before you, above which you can spot a series of interconnected floating terraces with varied furniture adorning the surface - the van appears to be parked at a pier of sorts, with a staircase leading to the terrace area, where a whole lot of people and not-people seem to be gathered and discussing something.
"We're here! Saturn, Sphere of the Contemplative. You probably don't know anyone here, but that's okay, they like that sort of thing. Shall we go and greet the masses?"
Post by: Pancaek on June 29, 2014, 07:46:33 am
"I was trying to deduce why the stairs are so slippery. I am not a clever man. Do you think we can even make it upstairs using these stairs, because this shit is both extremely nasty and slipepry." He says before spitting some more.
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 29, 2014, 07:50:50 am
John gags, spits on the ground, and then spits some more before turning to James
"I was trying to deduce why the stairs are so slippery. I am not a clever man. Do you think we can even make it upstairs using these stairs, because this shit is both extremely nasty and slipepry." He says before spitting some more.
"I think... yes. We just need to be careful."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 29, 2014, 09:35:05 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 29, 2014, 09:38:11 am
"Can you direct me in the direction of those other guys that I sent to do my bidding before the Three Shadows pulled me down."
"They're far away and not worth speaking of! In a poleward direction, if I recall correctly! But more specifically than that I cannot inform you!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 29, 2014, 10:06:31 am
Go that way.
Post by: Pancaek on June 29, 2014, 10:09:56 am
Fight drunkeness and try again. Be sure to grab hold of the railing and take it slow, one step at a time. Have James support me if necessary
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 29, 2014, 10:15:54 am
"Which direction is that?"
Go that way.
"It is in one of two directions, either to your left or to your right! But by going either way you condemn yourself to repeated stabbing! Do you wish to continue?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 29, 2014, 10:33:05 am
"Is the stabbing really necessary?""Which direction is that?"
Go that way.
"It is in one of two directions, either to your left or to your right! But by going either way you condemn yourself to repeated stabbing! Do you wish to continue?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 29, 2014, 10:57:28 am
"Is the stabbing really necessary?"
"Depends on how fast a runner you are!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 29, 2014, 11:15:40 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 29, 2014, 11:34:05 am
"I meant why do you want to stab me?"
"Because you are a terrible person. Obviously. And also hypothetically. And maybe a touch hyperbolically, but by the time that comes into consideration you will be safely stabbed and there will be nothing you or I could conceivably do about it."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 29, 2014, 11:36:05 am
"By what evidence?""I meant why do you want to stab me?"
"Because you are a terrible person. Obviously. And also hypothetically. And maybe a touch hyperbolically, but by the time that comes into consideration you will be safely stabbed and there will be nothing you or I could conceivably do about it."
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 29, 2014, 11:43:07 am
"By what evidence?"
"By your entirely muppetous inability to consider that perhaps giant, overgrown colonies of fungi that can speak are people, too, and that these underwear fellows are insidious, foul emanations from the darkest orifice of Satan himself and deserve nothing but intense death! And also by the way you want to run off like a bitch rather than actually provide some kind of valuable service to the community while you're here. That's a bit of a downer. As such, stabbing you, discredit to the community that you evidently are, would be doing the entire world a favor, deal with shadows or not. Your defense, Mr. Davidson?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 29, 2014, 11:50:49 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 29, 2014, 12:19:03 pm
"I never said I did not consider that the Shadows were people but you yourself seem to be very biased toward the Shadows and against the Garmentions. If I help the Shadows harm will come to the Garmentions. If I help the Garmentions then they will cause harm to each other and possibly the Shadows. So I am choosing the neutral action of 'running off like a bitch' until I can develop an unbiased opinion of who would cause the most damage to whom and make my decisions from there. I choose to live with my followers as they will provide some level of safety as well as being my responsibility as their Father."
"Well, that is certainly a choice you can make! Not a very safe choice, if I do say so myself, but certainly a choice!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 29, 2014, 12:21:13 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 29, 2014, 12:24:01 pm
"Is it unsafe because you will stab me?"
"Ayup! And if I won't, your slavery-endorsing current friends will!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 29, 2014, 12:32:15 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 29, 2014, 12:55:36 pm
"If I mess with them will you let me go?"
"Well, that probably depends on how successful you are. I might. They might not!"
Post by: Toaster on June 29, 2014, 01:00:59 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 29, 2014, 01:09:20 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 29, 2014, 01:19:38 pm
"So my options are 'get stabbed' and 'maybe get stabbed'?"
"Or maybe 'dodge', but I'm not sure you can pull that off fifteen times in a row or more."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 29, 2014, 01:40:49 pm
"Fine."
Focus on messing them up without using my magic yet.
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 29, 2014, 03:26:33 pm
((I'm detecting a bit of railroading.))((I think it's less railroading and more "whatever you do, for some reason, things keep getting from bad to worse for you".))
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 29, 2014, 04:06:34 pm
((I'm pretty sure it's just he has decided not to just give me a vortex of salty dentures and that the only way home was through a deal with the Shadows. He wasn't prepared for me to resign to living here pretty much forever and so death threats. At least that's what I would have done.))((I'm detecting a bit of railroading.))((I think it's less railroading and more "whatever you do, for some reason, things keep getting from bad to worse for you".))
Post by: Harry Baldman on June 29, 2014, 05:04:26 pm
"My, what is that? It... it seems of power," he mumbles, perhaps due to the blood loss making him dizzy if one discounts the fact that he hasn't really lost all that much blood.
"Hey, don't wander off," Joanie sternly warns him, but it is a bit too late, for he has already begun his stride, and THE DUNKER does not break his stride just like that. He needs to be counter-motivated, and counter-motivated most effectively at that. He moves forward and forward, and feels the power grow closer to him.
"Stop, fatty!" the other guy says, but he is unpleasant and probably red-haired at that, so THE DUNKER cares not. He just keeps moving forward, guiding himself up a staircase while the others follow him, still saying all sorts of things. Surprisingly, he finds it easy to navigate the halls as the power guides him, effortlessly locating another staircase and moving up it without so much as thinking.
When the outdoor air hits his face once more, and the ground becomes a little sloped, the man feels a little less secure, but disregards this just as he might disregard his gag reflex while in the middle of a feeding frenzy. Stepping forward confidently while the surface of the roof bends inward a little, he finds his way to the place he needs to be - as close as he can get, he knows. And then he lets the power flow into him. It flows very nicely, and he feels a reprehensible little mortal fragment of him, the soul's equivalent of an earlobe or perhaps a middle kidney, evaporate into nothing as it is substituted by something that feels like pure magic, and not the heroin kind of magic, either.
THE DUNKER has obtained a stat point to put in one of his stats! In addition, he can now select a particular Effect when researching spells!
In a flash, the tentacle hairs all fly off him, repelled by his sudden transformation, and his stomach tingles quite a bit! And he also notices that the bullet holes in his body appear conspicuously absent now, though he's not so sure about the bullets themselves. Eh, probably doesn't matter. At least not in comparison to his current position, which he can appreciate with his regained gift of sight - that is, the fact that he is standing on a precarious wooden outcropping of a wooden roof, a solid three story drop beneath him. To its credit, the roof seems to be holding, as he hasn't walked to the end yet, but he feels his balance quickly fading now that he's made the rookie mistake of looking down.
"Whoa, he actually did it!" says Joanie, becoming ponderous for a moment from her altogether safer position on the roof, the blood from her uniform quickly disappearing, and the uniform itself quickly being repaired of any damage done to it.
"Now let's see him not fall to his death, huh?" the man with her, indeed quite the unpleasant ginger, says.
* * * * *
Eta, excited by this new discovery, wonders if she can't make some clown shoes instead - logic dictates that she should be able to. But is logic not the antithesis of magic? Probably not, but you never know.
[Eta's affinity roll: 5+1]
This time, a rather huge amount of high heeled shoes of many different shapes and sizes shoots out of her palms - however, none of them seem to fit the specifications desired, which is more than a little disappointing. Lois seems rather pleased, though a little alarmed by the way the wall seems to crack a little as the large amount of shoes hits it. Not to mention put off by the incredible amount of noise about a hundred or so metal shoes banging against one another produces.
"Er... I'm not really sure experimenting here is the best idea..." she notes worriedly.
* * * * *
John, taking James' advice into consideration, decides to brave the staircase once more.
"All right. Let's try again. Slow and careful this time."
And so they do. Unfortunately, this takes them upward for but a moment before John discovers, much to his displeasure, that the railing is, for the standards of this age, overly snotty. Losing both his composure and his balance, he once more tumbles down the stairs, pulling James along with him - fortunately, neither of them is particularly hurt due to the way they only fell about a meter or so - even somebody as nervous and tense and James couldn't hurt himself falling that distance.
"You know, I don't think this is working. Maybe we can try a different set of stairs?" James says.
* * * * *
Larry agrees to go out and meet all these contemplatives that his guardian angel seems to be such a fan of. And so they step out of the van, the angel leading the way as they walk down the staircase toward the nearest group, all of whom seem to be smoking something multicolored while sitting on what appear, for all intents and purposes, to be ratty old couches you'd pay someone to take away. Interestingly, these people don't look very bearded. Or, for that matter, very wise. Some of them are plainly obviously not people - one is simply a weird, tentacled, glistening yellow mass with unnervingly human eyes in it. And a lady sitting on a particular couch seems like a cross between a mother of a god and a stripper, except without a face that would make either of those relatable - instead, it's just a blank patch of soft green light there, any features completely indiscernible.
They all seem to be in the middle of some kind of frivolous chat, one that Larry's guardian angel interrupts.
"Hey, guys! What's going on?" he asks in a way that reminds Larry of a sorority girl. The others turn to him.
"Hey!" the blank-faced angelic stripper says, waving her hand.
"What's up, Cal?" the yellow thing asks.
"You brought a guest," a small woman sitting next to the stripper says, not entirely pleased from the sound of it.
"Oh, that's Larry. Thought I'd bring him over here. He hasn't been to one of our parties before," the angel apparently named Cal says.
"Oh, cool! Can I ask him a question first?"
"Go for it!"
"Okay, so," the angel begins, turning toward Larry, her green face somehow peering into his very soul. "What kind of future do you think the world has, Larry?"
* * * * *
Dave, deterred by repeated threats of stabbing, begins to concentrate on the idea of casting magic, the thought of messing these varied individuals he ostensibly worked for some moments ago right up, and quickly begins to realize that maybe planning this sort of thing out and preparing himself for casting a spell may, in fact, be more effective than just trying to pull magic out of his bum all the time.
It's a pretty good feeling.
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on June 29, 2014, 05:31:14 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on June 29, 2014, 06:37:10 pm
If I keep doing this I might end up bringing that wall down. I guess I could get a bigger target, but that would only delay the problem, not fix it. I could probably remodel the apartment to make it a place for proper experimentation once I get some money. Or perhaps just buy some place out of town.
Still, that leaves us with the problem of what to do now... I guess I could go find that Leyline, see what it's like. Or maybe I could call Mr. Pilton, go meet him, see what he has to say? Or would it be better if I focused on financially ensuring myself first by selling those extra golden shoes?
Decisions, decisions...
[d3(Leyline\Pilton\Money):1(Leyline)]
I suppose the leyline is more important. Whatever happens next, I'm going to need some power and a place to rest. Perhaps even a place to experiment in. And if the leyline can be that place then that's where I need to go.
"Well, if this can't be a place to experiment in, then perhaps the Leyline could be. What do you say Lois? Would you like to go see what a Leyline is like?"
Hide the shoes, close all unnecessary lights and heating! Lock the apartment! To Mills High! Unless Lois disagrees, but I doubt that.
Post by: lawastooshort on June 30, 2014, 03:17:49 am
Which reminded him - he had to go show the potato god his demon blessing.
"Tubular father, wherefore thou art and hitherto in thine heaven of amazing potato, er... something whereupon something something hark, amen. I'll just be a few seconds, dude: I am coming to gaze upon thee!"
Cast a potato vortex, step into it and towards Potato God. Assuming this works, inform it that I have the required blessing.
Post by: Toaster on June 30, 2014, 10:50:56 am
"With all this magic and whatever running around, I'd say it's a pretty damn weird one."
Post by: Xantalos on July 04, 2014, 11:17:16 pm
Indeed, it would be unpleasant to die now. There is more to be gained, I can sense it!
Use my fat rolls like a balancing stick, walking back toward the others until they can grab hold of me. Keep going until I'm on the roof. If I do fall, use Emit Garbage to make a large pile of organic waste to land safely in.
Spoiler: DUNKER Enchanted (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on July 08, 2014, 02:45:42 pm
Go and find a different set of stairs, inspect them
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 12, 2014, 11:50:31 am
[Dave's affinity roll: 1-->1-1+2]
He pulls on his bum, and does so firmly with the power of his considerable mind, and the fabric of space and time parts in the area of his lower back, sending forth a stream of thylacines! Or, rather, a line of them, as they seem to be struggling to get out of the mannish confines of his body.
Lest more be said, let it be known that Dave becomes rather well-acquainted with the fact that his bum is not prepared to birth a new generation of adult extinct marsupials.
[Dave's body roll: 6-->1-1]
Feeling an odd desire to be elsewhere despite the fact that the origin of the process is indeed him, Dave begins to run away like a particularly shaky anesthesiologist who has not had his morning ether, though the process does not abate. With that having failed, he tries flailing his arms, which similarly helps little. And shrieking like a wounded koala is, unfortunately, much the same in terms of usefulness. But it does make a lot of people look at him! The underwear warriors seem to be wondering whether they are observing the practice of magic gone horribly wrong or elementary, if alien physiology gone horribly right.
* * * * *
Eta, after coming to terms with the idea that maybe attacking her apartment wall with violent barrages of shoes isn't the greatest idea, flips a mental coin and decides to investigate the leyline.
"Well, if this can't be a place to experiment in, then perhaps the Leyline could be. What do you say Lois? Would you like to go see what a Leyline is like?"
"Well, sure. Why not?" Lois says, and Eta responds by quickly hiding all of the golden shoes produced, including the really heavy ones she keeps carrying, then shutting off as many essential functions of the apartment as she plausibly can, then heading out after locking up securely. And from there, she proceeds toward Mills High!
The path is a long one, and on foot takes her more than an hour - and that, sadly, seems to be the only possibility, given how mass transit seems to be taking a holiday today, and a lot of the citizens appear to be staying home as well. Can't really blame them - things are a bit unstable presently, and though the weatherman did not mention any chances of dinosaur rain today, most are confident that his is not the most informed opinion on these matters.
Eventually, though, they reach the school! A large structure made after a very basic, oft-repeated school blueprint that one can see in at least a few other locations in this very city, a relic of a time of glorious expansion in the early eighties, its roof is partially collapsed by some massive impact, and the facade, in addition to some structural damage, seems to be coated in a viscous, heterogenous layer of stinking gore with bits of bone sticking out. There is a clearly visible open entrance, a curiously clean washing machine standing right next to it, and a hairy, large humanoid appears to be lounging in the front yard, scooping up little bits of leftover sun-dried viscera as a disgusting lunch surrogate. The sight of it, as well as the incredibly, almost unimaginably awful smell, is more than enough to make Eta retch and turn away as she takes it all in, and Lois, from the sound of it, is even greener around the gills.
"Do we *hurk* have to go there?" Lois asks, seemingly on the verge of losing her breakfast.
What's more, there is a palpable air of wrongness about the place and... hold on, are those people there on the roof? What are they doing near the big honking hole? Don't they know it's dangerous? And what are those red-pink pillars stretching out upward next to the building?
* * * * *
Halesey, wondering if invading Paradise was, strictly speaking, advisable, given the obvious alternative of where he would end up if that option was taken off the table.
But then he remembers that Potato Heaven, may its true name be forever sacred and unknown, is totally a thing that exists, and his mind is calmed, though his inner potato never rustled to begin with, being ineffable in its eternal stability. That reminds him, actually. He's got business with the big tuber!
"Tubular father, wherefore thou art and hitherto in thine heaven of amazing potato, er... something whereupon something something hark, amen. I'll just be a few seconds, dude: I am coming to gaze upon thee!" he says loudly, and then begins to conjure a potato vortex before himself.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->1+1]
Stirred by the everlasting love and earthiness of Halesey's soul, space is rent in twain, two halves spinning into each other, eternal potato stretching before Halesey. The dust of the surrounding land, insects, stray cats and more are pulled toward the domain of the One True God, but Halesey steps toward it of his own will, free of the fear and hesitation that marks the apostate and the uninformed alike. And the world of endless potato welcomes him with love, and he dives through its ocean of tubers, sailing swiftly on the streams toward the domain of God Beneath.
It is indeed hard to stay on his course - the beautiful waves and the lovely air are most inviting, and to resist the urge to frolic is difficult as Halesey's brain swells with happiness. But the call of God is powerful - it is clear that he is wanted, and wanted immediately. So he surfs the tide of tubers onward, eventually settling into a low orbit, lower than he dared come before, around God, bathing in His radiance and dancing with His moontatoes.
"Well done, acolyte," the voice of the Lord says, as close to elation as a being far beyond conventional emotion possibly can be. "You have walked the twin paths of the false saviors, and in doing so have walked neither. The narrow path lies ahead, but it, unlike others, points toward eternity. Ask a favor of the Lord, and it shall be granted within the confines of your station, true believer."
Another choice lay before him - but what will the potato pilgrim choose as his reward?
* * * * *
Larry wonders if this is one of those weird intellectual parties. Probably - it seems like the type where the women would be loose, were they not far more interested in Kafka and people who like Kafka. Larry, being the sort of guy who only vaguely remembers drinking a Kafka once in his life and finding it oddly similar to a cold espresso, except far more expensive, clearly does not belong here. But he can shoot for the next best thing - pretending he belongs here!
"With all this magic and whatever running around, I'd say it's a pretty damn weird one."
It's not a very valiant effort, considering the lack of quotes from established authors, but maybe people like that rustic charm down here. As a bit of a contrast, you know.
"Indecisive answer. And really, 'weird'? That just speaks of a lack of imagination," the angel says, tilting her head. The others chuckle a little. She sighs, then slowly gets up. Looking at Larry rather unreadably, given her featureless face, she extends a delicate hand toward him. "Would you care for a dance?"
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, pleased at the sudden expansion of his mind the power of the leyline has brought, teeters on the edge of the broken roof.
"Indeed, it would be unpleasant to die now. There is more to be gained, I can sense it!" he says with conviction.
"That's the spirit," Joanie says supportively while THE DUNKER tries to tentatively balance in his tenuous position.
[THE DUNKER's finesse roll: 2-1]
His attempt to use his own love handles as a balancing stick, naturally, goes about as well as could be expected, and his gyrations bring only further embarrassment and imbalance to his gait, culminating in a fateful slip before he's even properly completed his first step.
[THE DUNKER's body roll: 3-1]
As an instinctive grab toward the roof fails, THE DUNKER begins to plummet downward like a balloon filled with thorium, and tries to give himself a better chance by emitting some garbage.
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 3+2]
His skin momentarily tingles, and a steady stream of garbage begins flying outward in every direction, the plummeting fat man becoming a sudden refuse airburst. It fails to slow him down in the least, given the equal flow of garbage in all directions, but it does provide him with a softer bed to land on!
[THE DUNKER's body roll: 3-1+1]
As he flops on the garbage-filled ground, his breath is momentarily struck right out of him, and his entire flabby form shakes painfully as he deforms the pile beneath him, leaving a perfect bodyprint that lasts but a moment before the rising amount of garbage fills it, slowly elevating the man in place.
He is glad to say that nothing feels particularly broken, if only because of the help of the garbage beneath, but damn if this isn't going to hurt later on. In fact, he feels more bruised than he's ever been in his life, and it hurts quite a lot already.
* * * * *
John, far too drunk to ascend any kind of slippery stairs, decides to heed James' advice. The two of them begin to look for another staircase, only to find... something.
It's a hallway, technically. The one leading further into the hospital. But the problem is, something's blocking it - a mass of some kind. Glistening, purple and rough to the touch, it bars the way toward one wing of the hospital. Undulating slightly, it taunts John with its unassailable, primordial, wet form.
"I'm... not sure I understand," James mutters as he regards the strange formation.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 12, 2014, 12:07:55 pm
Post by: Toaster on July 12, 2014, 12:11:22 pm
Larry wasn't much of a dancer, but it was a damn sight better than trying to think deep and stuff. "Sure, let's dance."
Dance!
Post by: Pancaek on July 12, 2014, 01:36:56 pm
Gently poke the mass with my figner, make sure to take a few steps back after poking
Post by: lawastooshort on July 12, 2014, 02:09:00 pm
"Before I choose, O Great Potato, do You mind if I ask you a couple of questions?"
Assuming he doesn't, these are:
"Firstly, how can I progress further along the Path of the Potato? And secondly - and please, do not imagine my faith wavers, for my faith is unshakeable - secondly, what is at the end of the Path of the Potato? Is there an end? I would be happy to serve the Potato for an age, but still, I am trapped with my mortal body, and am buffered and blown by its wants and needs from time to time, when I am not encompassed by Potato. For example, I am sure that the best thing I could ask, as a favour from You, is something that would aid my progress along the Potatoey Path; yet itches at the back of my mind whisper at me: 'Halesey! Ask for money! Ask for control of that leyline! Ask for a date with Dana the pink lady!' I hold these voices at bay, yet I am not far enough along the Potatoey Path to be entirely deaf to them. Can you advise me, or should I instead seek out another Prophet of the Potato for guidance? It is hard to know what to do, in these changing times: what, that is, apart from throw oneself wholeheartedly into the service of a just and powerful God. Do you ask anything else of me?"
Halesey wasn't expecting so much to come out, and he worried that the Potato God wasn't quite the type to which one should speak thus, so personally, but he figured it worth a try. Now that, after over two decades of existence, he had found his destiny, he truly wanted to fulfill it. He wanted to serve the Potato.
He just wasn't sure how, or where it would lead him.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 12, 2014, 02:19:38 pm
((crikey, I'm going to have to think hard about this))
"Before I choose, O Great Potato, do You mind if I ask you a couple of questions?"
"You may do so."
"Firstly, how can I progress further along the Path of the Potato? And secondly - and please, do not imagine my faith wavers, for my faith is unshakeable - secondly, what is at the end of the Path of the Potato? Is there an end? I would be happy to serve the Potato for an age, but still, I am trapped with my mortal body, and am buffered and blown by its wants and needs from time to time, when I am not encompassed by Potato. For example, I am sure that the best thing I could ask, as a favour from You, is something that would aid my progress along the Potatoey Path; yet itches at the back of my mind whisper at me: 'Halesey! Ask for money! Ask for control of that leyline! Ask for a date with Dana the pink lady!' I hold these voices at bay, yet I am not far enough along the Potatoey Path to be entirely deaf to them. Can you advise me, or should I instead seek out another Prophet of the Potato for guidance? It is hard to know what to do, in these changing times: what, that is, apart from throw oneself wholeheartedly into the service of a just and powerful God. Do you ask anything else of me?"
Halesey wasn't expecting so much to come out, and he worried that the Potato God wasn't quite the type to which one should speak thus, so personally, but he figured it worth a try. Now that, after over two decades of existence, he had found his destiny, he truly wanted to fulfill it. He wanted to serve the Potato.
He just wasn't sure how, or where it would lead him.
"Ah. Your questions are many, and the answers to them are also the answers to many of the mysteries of the Path, to elevate you as the first prophet of my glory, and not a mere priest. So let it be put thus - what you ask of me is the favor of revelation, quite possibly the most valuable favor of all. Seven secrets of the Path and of the universe can be yours if you choose this favor, if you choose to bask fully in the knowledge of God and perhaps to know the path ahead to its full extent - to reveal the Path fully is to banish doubt, and it is to rob you of your worthiest foe, a favor like no other. But the question is not of whether I can grant it, for my power to do so is ideal and without flaw. But is this the favor you seek most, acolyte?"
Post by: lawastooshort on July 12, 2014, 03:37:51 pm
Halesey wanted to add the word crikey in there somewhere, but felt deep within him that it would be inappropriate, although better than any stronger language. He also held his mind strong against the temptation to say, goodness! no! what I want most is Lana, the lovely pink lady! But hold strong he did, for this was surely worth even more, however much time and distance increased her beauty.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 12, 2014, 03:45:05 pm
"O Potato Lord, yes, I seek the favour of revelation!"
Halesey wanted to add the word crikey in there somewhere, but felt deep within him that it would be inappropriate, although better than any stronger language. He also held his mind strong against the temptation to say, goodness! no! what I want most is Lana, the lovely pink lady! But hold strong he did, for this was surely worth even more, however much time and distance increased her beauty.
"Very well. What seven great definite answers do you seek, acolyte?"
Post by: lawastooshort on July 12, 2014, 03:56:26 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 14, 2014, 04:26:11 am
He tries using his hands first and foremost. That doesn't work, to put it mildly. So he tries the power of the mind next, and that seems to work... partially! The rift decreases in size, and the thylacines seem to be having a harder time getting out! This renders it simultaneously more painful and more awkward to look at, but Dave still keeps up his optimism. Surely he can fix this with a promising beginning such as that!
* * * * *
Larry's not much of a natural dancer, but he's no unnatural philosopher, either, so a dance sounds pretty good to him.
"Sure, let's dance," he says, taking the hand of the angelic stripper, and she pulls him toward herself.
"I'll lead," she says, and the two of them step away from the company of angels and contemplatives and, at the same time, away in a different sense, not merely in the classically spatial one, but rather in the mind-bending tesseract sort of way. And now, around them is only darkness in every direction.
"A perfect stage, no?" the angel asks while Larry stares dumbly at the flat, empty nothing all around. It unsettles him greatly for some reason, possibly because he's pretty sure after a few moments that it is not, in fact, as much a big flat nothing as it seems. That is to say, he can see something moving. Something massive. And also peculiarly interested in him. But before he can fully appreciate this information, the angel begins the dance.
[Larry's finesse roll: 2]
But Larry, quite unsettled as it is, can't really get into it much - it's some kind of elaborate space tango or whatever that she seems to be leading him in, and the best he can manage on his shaky, unsupported feet is more of a drunken pub waltz, much to the disappointment of his angelic dance partner.
"Not quite in the mood, are we?" she observes, and Larry senses just a bit of disappointment tinged with lack of surprise in her voice.
* * * * *
John, knowing that the mysteries of this crazy world reveal themselves only to the inquisitive, has a thought.
"Well, James, it would seem our way is blocked by a very large, wet-ish purple mass. As we both know, the only way to logically proceed is to poke it. It's only scientific, really," he says, and moves closer.
"Uh..." James intones uncertainly, but before he can raise more protest, John has already pushed himself toward the thing drunkenly, though he most certainly has made a mistake in his elaborate calculations, forcing himself hand-first toward the mass, plunging it as well as his arm into it up to the elbow - he is displeased to find it shockingly abrasive, and also quite painful! And wet. Very, very wet.
He quickly pulls his hand out, falling backwards with a fistful of whatever thing this mass is. And as he observes what he has done, he becomes aware that he seems to have produced a sizable hole in whatever that thing is. It looks to be hollow on the inside!
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 14, 2014, 07:28:57 am
Post by: Toaster on July 14, 2014, 08:21:26 am
Post by: Pancaek on July 14, 2014, 02:00:14 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 14, 2014, 07:40:24 pm
Eta hoped those were magical bones or some sort of corruptive effect from the leyline altering its surroundings and not actual bones from a living thing.
Those people might not be very friendly, judging by the looks of this place. I better take it slowly. That grey thing on the other hand looks more like an animal. It will hopefully ignore me as I approach or at least give me a warning if it doesn't agree with my presence. So only thing left to do is look around and find out what exactly I should do here.
I guess I could try out those flies, they could be good scouts. But unleashing intelligent flies upon the world sounds like a bad idea. What if they can procreate and make more flies? With their intelligence and their numbers they could end up ruling the world. No, that would be irresponsible. Can't have another incident like the one with the thylacines.
"I'm going to take a closer look, see if there's anything worth our time around here." Eta said to Lois. "You can stay back if you want, no reason to risk both our lives."
Await Lois's answer. If she wishes to follow, then go inspect those red pillar things. Make sure to keep my distance from the grey thing and try to not be visible from the people in the roof if possible.
Else, if she wishes to stay back, I will provide additional actions and dialogue.
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 15, 2014, 07:06:27 am
"Well, uh, no. All this magic doesn't leave much time for dancing practice, am I right?"
"It's not so much a matter of practice as it is a mental thing," the angel says softly. "Physics is taking a vacation right now, after all. Put your mind into it more."
She looks around.
"Though maybe we need a change of scenery as well. Someplace more fun, maybe? Otherwise this might get awfully intimate."
"Good news, James! This thing seems to be hollow. Probably we can just make ourselves a hole one either side and go through. The stuff is rather painful, though, so we may want to use something other than our bare hands. Do you see anything we could use to make holes faster?" says John, Waving his arm to shake off the goop
"Uh... no. Maybe a bench? I think I saw one further back."
Post by: Pancaek on July 15, 2014, 09:02:01 am
Go and get the becnh together with James, use it as a battering ram to get through the cube of slime
Post by: Toaster on July 15, 2014, 10:07:30 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 16, 2014, 03:50:01 am
When the chaotic magical phenomenon meets Dave's planned approach, it recoils in horror! It tries to spin away, but alas, Dave's hindquarters prove too effective an anchor! And so it can only try to weather the onslaught, which, as Dave ascertains momentarily, is quite a tall order for something that can't rightly think or do anything other than shoot thylacines out of someone else's bottom. The rift, cowed by the coordinated effort of will, immediately closes and solemnly promises not to bother Dave again. Dave, awash with newfound bossitude, raises his arms to the air triumphantly.
* * * * *
Eta, displeased greatly about both the sight and smell of this place, nevertheless soldiers on. It's probably not real, she assures herself. Leyline corruption of reality. Yes, that sounds like a thing. It's probably that. Indeed.
"Ugh. I'd expect magic to smell better. Looks like something out of one of those awful movies full of violence."
"I'm kind of glad I've never seen any of those," Lois says, her eyes resting on the hairy viscera-eating thing. "I mean, seriously, ugh."
"I'm going to take a closer look, see if there's anything worth our time around here." Eta says after thinking on how best to approach this against her better judgement. "You can stay back if you want, no reason to risk both our lives."
"No, no. I'm okay, sort of. Where you go, I go," Lois says, beginning to breathe through her mouth from the looks of it. Eta nods and they both move, stepping carefully around the gore and especially keeping their distance from the carrion eater as they get closer to the reddish pillars - there appear to be two of them in total, spaced close together, placed right up to the side of the building. Close examination reveals that they seem to be made of some softish, creamy material of a variety of colors, mostly shades of red, pink and purple, though red dominates. The lower pillar is 4 meters or so in height, and the other one is about 3 and a half higher. And only about two meters up from there is the edge of the roof.
"These look kind of like that pillar you made," Lois observes curiously. "Except less dangerous, I guess. I wonder if we can climb it?"
* * * * *
Impressed by James' constructive (well, destructive) comments, John immediately forms a plan.
"Excellent, good thinkin', James! We shall use the bench as a battering ram and break through this slab of something that impedes our progress. This is just the kind of thing Trey would have proposed!"
"Huh? Who?"
But John doesn't answer, as siege warfare takes priority. With the aid of James, he quickly finds the bench in question - it is made of metal, with a delightfully uncomfortable upholstered seat. The archetypical piece of hospital furniture, really. And also presumably great for use as a battering ram! John tries to pick it up, but only manages to lose his footing and stretch out across it instead, at which point it occurs to him that maybe he needs a nap more than he needs to explore. He yawns contently, and his eyelids begin to grow heavy.
"Uh... what are you doing?"
* * * * *
Larry, encouraged by the angel, provides his own critique of the monstrous void.
"Nothing in every direction is personal and all, but it doesn't really say dance floor to me. Maybe something more light and colorful?"
"Indeed. I'm glad we're on the same page here!" she agrees, and the void suddenly gives way to something else entirely - the inside of a massive platinum dome, the ceiling engraved with a short history of life (that is to say, three quarters of the engravings look like elaborate lithographs of bacteria of many varieties in various combinations, and everything else, from vertebrates to primordially mysterious things Larry can only begin to guess at the nature of, occupy the rest). The entire place is bathed in a bright light, and the gleaming bits all along the ceiling remind him of diamonds, but somehow even shinier. He is about to whistle approvingly, but then he looks around the rest of the room.
Creatures are all around him, each more hideously strange than the last - black, inky, solid shadows, all too familiar to the wizard from previous engagements, with eyes of red, yellow and orange form most of them, but one can see other things as well - a hulking, garishly colored spider creature, a man in a suit who must be at least four meters tall, a whole host of creatures with cabbages for heads, and many other things oddly related to various everyday objects. And in the midst of them there is a clearing, in which Larry and the angel stand, and that also hosts something else - a metal ziggurat, atop which a throne of gold rests. In it sits a figure of infinite red, vile arms stretching out in every direction, a glowing golden tetrahedron with a beastly eye on each side rotating wildly in the center, providing a peculiar halo.
It's all a bit much to take in, and Larry is about to say something, but then the angel snaps her fingers, and music starts playing over the room, a peculiar song that resonates deeply within Larry, and also seemingly within the rest of the creatures around - the shades begin dancing first, followed by the larger creatures. And even the figure in the center starts swaying rhythmically, emanating intense displeasure as it does so. And finally, Larry himself begins to dance as well. And though he's not much of a natural dancer, the music moves him to a degree music never really has, and, taking the angel by the other hand as well, he begins to spin in a wild dance, his very own interpretation of the jitterbug.
Things, needless to say, are getting a bit out of control on the dance floor - everyone seems to be cavorting wildly, most conventional forms of restraint dropped in favor of uninhibited displays of rhythm and choreography. Well, everyone except the central figure, who only appears to be vibrating menacingly, the air in the room becoming thick in its vicinity. Larry and his dance partner dive into the mass of assembled creatures, and they artfully give way, and the two spin and dance their way twice along the entire edge of the dome, getting a good look at the chaos within, a sight that makes the angel laugh more than a little manically. The shades begin to take flight, filling the air above with dancing shapes and hugging the engravings with their inky shapes, flowing through them like water, leaving dark marks on the ceiling as they pass. One particular set of shades begin to engrave vague notation on the ceiling as the creative spirit takes them.
Eventually, though, after a period that feels like a minute, but that was probably much longer, the music stops, and the room becomes still, only the low, but rising roar of the central figure still audible in the room. As its arms suddenly extend, moving to strike at the two disruptive arrivals, the angel quickly bows, and then takes Larry with her as she disappears back into the aether, leaving but a host of very confused demonic entities in her wake.
The two reappear back in the Seventh Heaven, Saturn, at a respectable distance from their original position, where the others appear to have settled in a nice bit of conversation. Larry's companion sighs contently.
"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" she says.
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 16, 2014, 05:59:27 am
Hmmm... I'm tempted to make a pillar of my own... But no, it's too dangerous. Only as a last resort.
"I suppose we could try climbing... Better than trying to get through that creature. It might have some friends in there."
That still leaves the people up on the roof, but they'll hopefully be willing to talk before doing anything rash.
Is there any wooden plank or similar long thing around? Or perhaps some conveniently available rope or wire or similar? If yes take it.
Attempt to climb the highest pillar. Try casting Volley of Golden High Heels, trying to spray the high heels across the height of the pillar to create handholds.
If I do it just right, the heels will get embedded in this soft thing.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 16, 2014, 09:54:11 am
Post by: Toaster on July 16, 2014, 10:07:31 am
Post by: Pancaek on July 16, 2014, 10:32:04 am
Give in to the sleepyness
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 16, 2014, 12:13:07 pm
Larry blinked a bit. "That was the best dance I've had, yeah. Where were we? What was that... thing in the middle?"
"That was Hell. And the thing was the big man down under, so to speak. I think we interrupted an important meeting, judging by the attendance."
Post by: Toaster on July 16, 2014, 12:15:42 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 16, 2014, 12:34:32 pm
"I... huh. Sucks to be him then, I guess. Weird choice for an angel, I'd say."
"Eh, we like to mess with demons every once in a while to keep them on their toes. It helps a lot to remind the big oaf that we can always just come to his doorstep and teach him a lesson if he steps out of line, you know?"
"But anyway, what say you we find some other crowd? I think it'll take a while for Cal to catch up with the others, anyway. I think the Oldthinker's pad should have something more fun going on. He's a pretty fun guy to be around, if a little... cognitively advanced, let's say."
Post by: Toaster on July 16, 2014, 12:50:54 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on July 17, 2014, 02:48:34 pm
"Very well. What seven great definite answers do you seek, acolyte?"
"O, Sir Potato, this is the most difficult question I have yet been asked in my short life. I will try my best to ask good questions. First: How can I progress along the Path of the Potato? Second: What makes the Path of the Potato the True Path? Third: Is there an end to the Path of the Potato? Fourth: If so, what lies there, at the Path's end, and if not why should a mere mortal travel the Path? Five: What is the secret to mastering the power of the Potato? Six: How can I best serve the Potato? Seven: Is Love compatible with being a Follower of the One True Path of the Potato, and if so, how can I meet that hot chick Lana, the pink girl? I can totally see myself creating a dynasty of potato servants with her, O Lord. Forgive my impertinence, but these are my questions seven."
Post by: Xantalos on July 17, 2014, 04:23:30 pm
Somehow.))
The DUNKER groans, then supposes he should notify his newfound aquaintances of his continued existence.
I'M ALIVE STILL!
Notify friends of aliveness while extricating self from the pile.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 18, 2014, 08:00:33 am
[Eta's affinity roll: 5+1]
The spell fires off in a way that Eta can describe in no way short of perfection, an equal spread along the entire side of the pillar, the heels biting into the firm, yet sufficiently pliable surface of the pillar. Glad at things working out how they're supposed to, which is a rare twist, all things considered. With nothing more to it, she begins to climb upwards.
[Eta's body roll: 2-1+1]
It is about a meter up that she begins to regret never taking up rock climbing in her life - surely the experience would have come in handy here. As it is, it's a little exhausting and also more than a bit slippery, considering she's trying to grab pieces of metal buried in some kind of creamy red stuff.
[Lois' body roll: 2+1]
Lois, also unaccustomed to this, stops about half a meter higher than she, having climbed alongside her for the first bit, now looking back uncertainly at her companion.
"You know, this isn't really as easy as I think it'd be," she says.
* * * * *
Dave, inspired by all the adversity he has encountered, begins to focus very intently on wreaking mass destruction, his mind quickly centering on the use of magic. Proper use, this time, without horrible consequences! Use that he could proudly tell his mother about while she is not busy shrieking about what abomination he has turned into this time!
Anyhow, yes. The time has come. In mere moments he will wreak feces God himself has never seen, and he is confident that this shall be so, with absolutely nothing going wrong whatsoever. Indeed. It shall be so, for he has declared it, and his eyes have begun to dramatically flash, his hair accordingly floating in the wind of this world he has created.
* * * * *
John, suddenly overtaken by feelings of tiredness and overwhelming drunkenness, decides to take a nap.
"I'm just, I'm just going to pass out for a moment, James. I've had an entire bottle of cheap booze and not 24 hours ago I watched two people I regard as friends probably walk to their deaths. And I let them... Just, wake me up in half an hour or so and we'll sort this out. Not like this cube is going anywhere..." he says, eyes closing and body rolling away from the light, face solidly packed into a corner. And thus does sleepytime ensue. It is entirely dreamless, peculiarly enough, and when John awakens, it's obvious some time has passed. For one, he no longer feels quite as trashed - significantly inebriated, yes. But not trashed.
In addition, it's gotten a bit darker. He must have slept for a while. James does not seem to have moved much, and seems to have been napping similarly to his new friend. He's still napping, in fact. John wonders if he should wake the man, with how soundly asleep he looks.
* * * * *
Larry freely agrees to anything that'll get him to new and interesting (in contrast to old and dangerous) places, and the angel's proposal is no different.
"Sure, let's go hang there."
"Great, follow me," the angel says, and the two of them once more travel what feels like a distance of thousands of miles in an instant, finding themselves outside a small cottage, floating freely above the vast sea of endless, swirling brown that is the surface of Saturn. Standing on seemingly nothing at all, a fact Larry, being altogether too familiar with what would probably happen if he were to do that, does not question at all, the angel knocks on the door, and it opens, revealing a house that manages to be cozy despite being utterly devoid of any furniture. There's plenty of woven rugs and tapestries and such, but absolutely nothing even remotely like a chair or a fridge.
The largest room is the one they immediately enter, where a large segment of the floor has been broken, a thick rug laid out across the hole in the floor, a sizable draft coming in from bits where it's a tad crumpled - Larry is a tad unnerved to find that there is absolutely nothing underneath it aside from the surface of the gas giant, and that it appears in no way tethered to the floor. Atop the rug, illogically, sits a man, rather young, but certainly not somebody one would like to look at in any way. He's almost unspeakably ugly, in fact. And as soon as Larry and his companion enter, he looks up, a toothless mouth with blackened gums revealing itself as he smiles.
"Ay, whath up?" he asks. "Lookin' for a little thomethin-thomethin?"
"Not yet, old man. Anybody else here?"
"Eh, Phinny. She's over in the kitchen, watching the water," the old man lisps back. "Beagle came her, but he'th athleep."
"Oh, cool. This is Larry," the angel says, introducing her companion. "Larry, this is the Oldthinker."
"But you can call me whatever you like," the man grins at Larry.
"Right, so, I'll go see if Beagle's ready to get back among the living. Larry, make yourself at home," the angel says a tad patronizingly, then steps off into the hallway leading off to what look like bedrooms. The Oldthinker looks at you.
"Tho, can I get you anything?" he asks. "Water? Thtronger thtuff? Ambrothia?"
* * * * *
It takes more than a moment, but Halesey manages to figure out what seven answers he wishes to obtain.
"O, Sir Potato, this is the most difficult question I have yet been asked in my short life. I will try my best to ask good questions. First: How can I progress along the Path of the Potato? Second: What makes the Path of the Potato the True Path? Third: Is there an end to the Path of the Potato? Fourth: If so, what lies there, at the Path's end, and if not why should a mere mortal travel the Path? Five: What is the secret to mastering the power of the Potato? Six: How can I best serve the Potato? Seven: Is Love compatible with being a Follower of the One True Path of the Potato, and if so, how can I meet that hot chick Lana, the pink girl? I can totally see myself creating a dynasty of potato servants with her, O Lord. Forgive my impertinence, but these are my questions seven."
The planet-sized tuber before him hums in consideration before composing an adequate answer.
"One, you can progress through devotion to the potato, and the spreading of the True Way, for it is in teaching that one truly learns."
"Two, the Path of the Potato is the True Path because you have chosen it and committed to it. Your mind is in tune with the ways of your Lord, and all other paths would thus be empty for you, and for many other of the as-of-yet unknowing faithful."
"Three, there is no end, even in death, but there is an apex that you can reach, from which you can never descend."
"Four, the apex of the Path is when you align yourself perfectly to the True Path's state of ideal being - when you are free, and yet an extension of my will, for I will have raised you to the point where I will consider your independent acts as something I would have done in the same position - as I will have defined you up to that point, you will come to define me in turn. And for you there is another important detail, for you are the first and now, the prophet. You will become the conduit of all magic in time if you pursue the Path, and from there you will reach heights you have never even dreamed of."
"Five, internalization of the potato, making it your own tool, and the solution to all of your problems, followed by sufficient mastery that it becomes an exceptional solution at that."
"Six, the best method of service is to accomplish the quests you are provided, and to do so faithfully and to the utter limits of your conscience. The quests are to further your Lord's interests, naturally, but this comes second to their prime purpose - they are tools to further your personal growth."
"Seven, love is not only compatible with the Path, but, I would say, even necessary for its full fruition. As for the meeting, I hear that mobile telecommunication works wonders in this day and age. Call her, and arrange a meeting at the Green Diamond, which is an inexpensive dining establishment of sentimental significance to her, as well as not very far from her home. Do not under any circumstances mention that you know any of this. That is the way to ingratiate yourself - whether it is meant to be is from there on in is up to you, acolyte."
The planetary potato pauses a moment.
"And now, your next quest. Seek out disciples three, true to the ways of the potato - you will know them in that they are unlike your friend Larry, who walks a different path of his own, and unknowing of the ways of magic. Present each with one of these," God says, and three tubers of large size appear before Halesey, one filthy and whirling around in place, seeking to push the other tubers away, one partially liquefied in an odd, surreal manner, one twinkling and swirling with all the colors of the rainbow, all of which disappear inside of Halesey's torso in a flash of light, feeling like three new hearts inside the acolyte's body. "in accordance with what you can determine of their true natures. The tubers will know their own, and bequeath them with my gifts. Find three worthy disciples, give them my boon, and then bring them here, and you will have become a full Priest of the Potato. Have you any questions?"
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, groaning with pain, quickly rolls out from the pile of garbage, knowing that the true soreness has only begun.
"I'M ALIVE STILL!" he shouts, but realizes that this seems to have been unnecessary, since his two friends have already come downstairs to check on him.
"Thank god for that," Joanie says with relief.
"Not surprising. You're practically a human trampoline with all that blubber on you," the ginger man says. "Besides, what kind of pussy dies from a three story fall? Four I could get, and five even more, but three? That's a total wimp death."
"I think he would have died if he hadn't had that pile of crap to land on. Besides, he could still totally die. Maybe he has internal bleeding. You think of that?"
"Eh, looks fine to me."
"That's why it's called internal bleeding, dumbass."
Post by: Toaster on July 18, 2014, 08:33:14 am
Larry looked around, wondering a bit why someone would put a house above Saturn. "Sure, I'll have a drink. Uh, I guess whatever the local favorite is. So, Oldthinker, nice place. I hear you're quite the smart guy; mind if I ask what started all this magic stuff coming out? One day everything is as it was, then suddenly there's dinosaurs and shampoo and holy pornos and potatoes." Larry twitched a bit at that last one.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 18, 2014, 08:50:58 am
Larry looked around, wondering a bit why someone would put a house above Saturn. "Sure, I'll have a drink. Uh, I guess whatever the local favorite is. So, Oldthinker, nice place. I hear you're quite the smart guy; mind if I ask what started all this magic stuff coming out? One day everything is as it was, then suddenly there's dinosaurs and shampoo and holy pornos and potatoes." Larry twitched a bit at that last one.
The Oldthinker gets off the rug and knocks on a nearby wall until it rings hollow, at which point he, with a peculiar gesture, causes a small section of the wall to disappear. From out of it he draws a slightly dirty glass and a bottle with some clear liquid in it. The bottle has a label, but it's blank.
The man pours a glass and hands it to you, having considered your question in the meantime.
"Honethtly? Haven't thought about it yet. I'm thinking it wath all thome guy. Pattern fitth. But why and how, thath another thtory."
He pauses.
"Tho, how ith all that magic thtuff, anyway? I hear there'th chaoth down planetthide."
Post by: Toaster on July 18, 2014, 09:01:26 am
As Larry offered the binder, he took a sip of his drink.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 18, 2014, 09:07:17 am
UNLEASH THE RIVER ON THESE HEATHEN SCUM!
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 18, 2014, 09:09:04 am
Larry nodded as he took the proffered drink. "As far as some guy, some fat guy got me mixed in with it. He had these binders, with these... symbols in them, and you rub your face in them and get magic. It's like that... osmosis stuff, or something. But yeah, it's getting pretty crazy. Buddy of mine is obsessed with potatoes now." He looked down, and noticed he had his binder with him. "I've got the binder if you want to see it; maybe you could make more sense of it. I could also show you how it works?"
As Larry offered the binder, he took a sip of his drink.
This drink makes you feel really funny for some reason, and you're pretty sure it's not any kind of regular booze, judging from the taste. You feel... lighter, and slightly more transparent.
"Aw yeah, that'd be cool. Show me, if you don't mind."
Post by: Toaster on July 18, 2014, 09:10:52 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 18, 2014, 09:13:05 am
((Show him the binder or magic?))
He didn't specify, did he?
Post by: Toaster on July 18, 2014, 10:03:22 am
"You want to see some magic? Sure!" Larry loved showing off. He took another hit of his drink (less sip and more swig) and let the magic fly.
Summon Hats go!
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Xantalos on July 18, 2014, 01:50:36 pm
Womble up to the roof bit where they were standing while I took communion. If they want to help me up, that's fine. Wait for my wounds to heal.
So, who're you then, redhaired guy?
Post by: Pancaek on July 19, 2014, 07:36:54 am
Let James sleep for another 15-20 minutes, just keep a lookout in the meantime. After that, gently wake him up and continue to work on digging a hole through the slimecube
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 19, 2014, 10:44:45 am
I really need to work out more... Come on, one more try and if it doesn't work, I'll try something more conventional.
Try again. Find that second wind!
Post by: lawastooshort on July 19, 2014, 02:21:53 pm
Leave and return to Earth! Then call Linda the pink speaking girl, apologise profusely for messing up last time, and ask her if she's free tomorrow (or this evening if there's at least 8 hours before then?) and if she is perhaps she would like to have dinner at the Green Diamond - I heard it's a lovely place and always wanted to try it.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 19, 2014, 06:50:08 pm
"BEHOLD MY POWER, FOR I AM DAVE!" he screams, arms turned skyward, palms bent forward, hips cocked at a fashionable angle, and with a single forward bop of his head, unleashes hell!
[Dave's affinity roll: 6-->3-1+3]
The ground shakes and groans, and from underneath Dave's feet a crack begins to form. The black, moldy earth rises upward, elevating Dave higher and higher, and the crack grows deeper, wider, spreading out over the battlefield in a spiraling shape, the assembled underwear warriors looking at each other, wondering whether they should do something. A rumbling that only a legion of subterranean marsupials of mysterious origin at his beck and call could produce.
With a mighty roar, he lets the thylacines flow! The ground is torn open along a spiral, underwear warriors and their mounts alike separated from each other by the coils of the magical river that winds round and round again. Confusion overtakes the battlefield as the maneuver comes completely out of left field, magic both unknown and untested among the ranks of the warriors!
And then, to top it off, their mounts start actively rebelling in the moment of confusion, impaling their riders on suddenly-grown blades, then throwing them into the river still spreading around and even branching into yet more smaller spirals, before commencing the immediate and violent stabbing of the footsoldiers present - this, naturally, is not good for morale, or numbers, or any other worthwhile positive thing that a side can have on the battlefield during wartime. Dave notices the underwear master in the distance, shouting orders while wounded, and wonders if he really needs to do more, or if he's already done all he needs - after all, it's an impressive job he's performed here - the river's still going around, in fact, only stopping at the wall of the fortress itself. And the thylacines are looking positively ferocious this time, too.
* * * * *
Ever a crowd pleaser, Larry gives the Oldthinker a taste of some good magic - the best there is, in fact - the magic of hats.
"You want to see some magic? Sure!"
[Larry's affinity roll: 4+1]
And with the snap of the fingers, a pile of hats suddenly manifests before the Oldthinker, who seems impressed.
"Awethome thtuff," he says, taking a rather pristine tan campaign hat like you'd see on a stereotypical park ranger from out of the pile, putting it on. Larry has to say, he wears it well. "You could make thome good money off thith kind of thing."
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, though injured, knows the cure to all his ails - magic!
"Urgh. Well, I noticed that that leyline thing heals wounds. I suppose I'll go up there again, just not so far," he explains as he tries and, with the help of his new friends, succeeds at getting up.
"Sound plan," Joanie observes while the ginger guy smirks. The three of them then move to the nearest staircase, helping the fat man up the fiendish adversary that several flights of stairs represent. It is indeed a painful journey, he finds.
"So, who're you then, redhaired guy?" he asks as they ascend the second floor.
"Me? I'm Nigel," the fellow says, his own name passing his lips with slight distaste. "I'm technically still the night watchman for this school, though I'm guessing not for much longer."
"I wonder why. You did such a stellar fucking job at, Nige," Joanie observes bitterly.
"Yeah, yeah. We'll see how you do when somebody drops two goddamn asteroid of yetis and meth-heads on your turf."
"You left out the part where a sixteen-year-old beat the living crap out of you and stole all your stuff after getting the drop on you in an empty hallway."
"Hey, he had another guy with him. Big one, he was."
"I bet he was. Bigger than you, anyway, not that that's some achievement for someone over 14."
Nigel just grumbles as they reach the rooftop, and THE DUNKER stands tall to face the leyline, and waits. In a moment it occurs to him that, while he could heal at the regular human rate just standing near a leyline, he can just as well just harness it the proper way, like Joanie seemed to back then. And it does seem to work much better that way, THE DUNKER feeling good as new within mere moments!
* * * * *
John, guessing that even a man like James needs his beauty sleep, looks out for danger all about him - fortunately, there is none that he can see, aside from the weird mass down the hall, which seems to have somehow mended itself in the time period while John was asleep.
Needless to say, some 20 minutes pass much like a venerable grandmother, and John then tries to wake up his companion, who budges pretty easily.
"Uh? Mary?" he mutters as he slowly wakes, but seems a little disappointed to only see John. "Oh. John. So, it's time?"
John assures the man that yes, it's time, and the two of them sleepily pick up the bench and commence the plan they had beforehand - ram the mass until it gives way. And with a single mighty charge, the two men manage to rip right through the mass without any sort of problem, not even getting a significant amount of any ichor on themselves, not that that there is much to begin with.
On the other side of the mass there seems to be an administrative wing, filled with non-doctor offices - there's an on-site lawyer's place, the office of some other administrative staff, and even the Chief of Medicine's office. Quite a lot of places to explore here. And with this bench in his and James' hands, John is fairly sure he can't be stopped.
* * * * *
Eta, hoping that her absolutely terrible ability at physical activity, honed through years of having a naturally decent metabolism and no real need to perform any feats of athletics, tries to get her second wind along with Lois.
"Maybe if we, like, make it a race or something?" Lois suggests, but this is promptly ignored in favor of serious matters. Gritting her teeth, Eta tries to force herself upwards.
[Eta's body roll: 1-->4-1]
In fact, her attempt is so forceful that she manages to yank out one of her handholds, which causes a cascade of events ending with her losing her balance and falling a whole meter, then landing on her tailbone, which hurts like an absolute bitch, to put it mildly, though nothing feels particularly broken.
[Lois' body roll: 1-->1]
"Uh, you okay?" Lois asks absently, not even looking at the pillar while ascending further - a poor decision that causes her to miss a particular spot with her foot, then lose her balance, followed by a wholesale fall, filled with utter panic as she tries to grab for the pillar vainly.
Words can hardly describe the trajectory of her fall, so awkward is it - a flailing attempt at a rapid backflip of sorts that ends up with her making the second worst landing she could have possibly made, her body basically flopping on the ground while twisted in an unfortunate way that causes her head to be slammed like a hammer into the hard ground in what looks like an extremely painful way - for a sudden fearful moment, Eta hopes that was not a crack she heard just then, and quickly moves to look at her friend.
Lois, fortunately, isn't dead from the looks of it, but she is definitely out cold.
* * * * *
Thanking his Lord for the wonderful help, Halesey vacates Potato Heaven post-haste, arriving back in the sinful mortal world, knowing that it is indeed time for him to arrange a new sort of date. He dials Linda's number, which he somehow feels he knows after speaking with God, and waits for an answer. It comes soon enough.
"Um, yes? Hello?" the voice of Linda comes in at the other end, a little sad.
"It's me!"
"You! Why, I...!"
"Yes! Me! I called you to tell you that I, from the bottom of my heart and soul, am sorry, for I have been most ungentlemanly to you this evening!"
"You what?"
"I have done you wrong, my dear, but rest assured that I will make amends! Tomorrow we shall meet!"
"Why would I-"
"At the Green Diamond! In the evening! About 7 P.M., for that is a lucky number! That gives you exactly nineteen hours to make your decision, but rest assured that I will be waiting there, hoping that you can give me but one more chance to prove myself worthy of you! For now, farewell - whether you choose to come or not, know that I shall be thinking of you!" Halesey says, and then, on a roll, hangs up. If it's meant to be, it will happen - this he knows. Now he only has to avoid time-consuming misadventure on the latter half of tomorrow, make it there on time and not make a complete ass of himself in front of the love of his life. Shouldn't be too difficult, should it?
Post by: Toaster on July 19, 2014, 08:13:24 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 19, 2014, 09:02:11 pm
Post by: Xantalos on July 19, 2014, 11:01:41 pm
So, what do you two want to get up to now?
Post by: lawastooshort on July 20, 2014, 07:28:19 am
It apparently being midnight, it would probably be a good idea to go to sleep. Then, the next morning, head out to find a cafe, get a coffee and sit down, and discreetly check out the customers to see if any look like the might be potential potato acolytes.
edit: NO WAIT!
FIRST! First thing in the morning, study my Holy Folder of the Potato, with emphasis on the potato aspects of magic. Some nice fresh magic would be a good thing.
If I lose my vortexes I'm going to go quite literally crazy, which is why I've been holding off doing this for so long. But clearly I need to discard the foul magic of the heathen, even if Hairy Mafioso are sweet. I can probably count them as vaguely potato-related for the time being anyway.
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 20, 2014, 08:54:46 am
Oh no!
"Lois? Are you allright? Lois?"
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did I have to do that?
I hope she's OK. I better call an ambulance, just in case. She might have a concussion or internal bleeding or... No, think positive, everything is going to be fine.
"Help! My friend just had an accident!"
Shout for someone to help me. Hopefully someone will help me move her. If I can move Lois, start dragging her away from there, towards the street. Then find a phone so that I can call an ambulance.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 20, 2014, 09:53:57 am
Larry nodded. Something about the holy influence seemed to make the power flow more easily. "Yeah, that's the magic. Nice choice, there; suits you. But yeah, we- me and my buddy Halesey- actually tried that with some sort of divine porno mags, but that... didn't really go well. Cal had to come straighten things out; that's how we met."
"Heh, divine porno magth? You thtill got thothe?"
DUNKER stretches his stomach folds in satisfaction.
So, what do you two want to get up to now?
"Well, I think I'm going to go and-"
"Help! My friend just had an accident!"
"-huh? Did you hear that?"
"Yeah. Sounded like a woman?"
Joanie quickly steps to the edge of the roof, looking down.
"Hey, it's that lady," she says. "How the hell she'd get over here?"
She walks right back without even the slightest touch of acrophobia.
"Okay, something's going on down there. Let's go and investigate."
Post by: Toaster on July 20, 2014, 12:28:25 pm
Breathe up some divine porno for the good man.
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
((hey by the way Larry, have you used you soulcoin thing yet? I'm wondering how I can use mine to impress a girl))
Still got mine. I'd guess a bargain with a divine entity, probably demonic.
Post by: Xantalos on July 20, 2014, 01:15:08 pm
Any of you have a donut?
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 20, 2014, 01:33:52 pm
Hmm. Should we go assist her? I don't exactly have any healing magic.
Any of you have a donut?
"I don't really take my work home."
"And I'm trying to stay away from the stuff. Otherwise I'm gonna become a blimp."
"Though you do raise a good point. We could just wait until she and her friend both leave or something. So she doesn't spot us or anything."
Post by: Pancaek on July 20, 2014, 03:01:09 pm
Enter the chief of medicine's office. Scour every nook and cranny for clues and valuables
Post by: Xantalos on July 20, 2014, 07:19:51 pm
Anyone want a beer?
Current Name: The DUNKER
Stats:
Mind 3
Affinity 4
Inventory: several suits, a bit of money, 50 bucks plus change, pack of cheap cigarettes, lighter.
Spells:
1. Paper Wall
2. Twin Monuments of Underwear
3. Control Booze
4. Electric Watermelon Storm
5. Emit Garbage
6.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 21, 2014, 05:39:46 am
Hmm. Well, I know for a fact that she doesn't have any donuts. Plus I'm not that inclined to helping random people.
Anyone want a beer?
"You're damn right I want a beer. I've just had the longest night of my goddamn life."
"You know, that is actually a brilliant idea. Got a place in mind, maybe?"
Post by: Xantalos on July 21, 2014, 05:44:29 am
Control Booze! Pull all the alcohol I can sense into an orbit around me.
Spoiler: The DUNKER (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 21, 2014, 09:33:48 am
Meanwhile, Dave becomes aware of the gates of the citadel slowly opening - as they do so, creatures identical to Dave's current allies, although slightly larger, pour out of the gates, charging toward the underwear forces, seemingly focusing on the capture of any escaping forces.
The underwear master, however, seems to getting a handle on things - one that bodes ill for Dave, as a matter of fact, considering that the creature is charging his way, leaping over the banks of the thylacine river, crossing the distance to the pasty wizard in a very expedient manner. Judging from the look of him, Dave has the feeling that he isn't in the mood to negotiate.
* * * * *
Halesey, pretty sure that it's midnight and that he has no business being out on the street and walking about with how eventful his day's been, quickly goes back to his apartment and with newfound somnolence obtains the strength to spend an undisclosed amount of time in a state of sound sleep. Sleep that feeds his soul and allows him to wake up in broad daylight.
As soon as he wakes up, an idea overtakes him, the sense that he has perhaps been less than creative in his use of the most holy potato - so he begins to peruse his binder for new tubery solutions to all of his problems.
[Halesey's mind roll: 4+1]
It takes but a glance, and all the world becomes a field, and all the thoughts within it merely potatoes - they have their time of planting, their growth and development, and one potato can in its time create many offshoots. With this in mind, Halesey harvests a few, but knows he must take only one, for the rest must be left to grow and create a brand new crop in his absence.
Spoiler: Halesey's Potato Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Eta, pretty sure that she just placed second in the contest of finding out the absolute worst way to fall off a pillar, immediately calls out to her.
"Lois? Are you all right? Lois?"
However, Lois makes no motions.
"Help! My friend just had an accident!" she calls out in a more general manner, and within moments she hears somebody approach from the street - a police officer, judging from the uniform, tall and rather imposing.
"What's going on here?" she asks quickly and clearly, looking very bothered with the two ladies' presence near what is plainly a very dangerous building.
"Uh... whuh?" Lois suddenly stirs, blinking a bit, looking confused. She immediately starts to get up, though is a bit off-balance and thus has a bit of trouble with it.
* * * * *
Larry, urged on by the Oldthinker, decides to harness his power of breathing divine pornography once more.
"Not any more, but I can still magic some. Here, hang on..."
[Larry's affinity roll: 3+1+1]
With a cough to splinter the heavens, his mouth swings wider than usual, and a whole mound of gentlemen's literature is breathed out in front of him, in a process that seems to greatly amuse the Oldthinker.
"You're jutht full of cool trickth, huh?" he says, laughing as he quickly fetches a mag, beginning to leaf through it. His eyes widen at first, then he nods approvingly. "Ooh, Trina'th in thith one. She'th sure looking good," he remarks.
Just then, a silvery, metallic head possessing a feminine face, though absolutely no metallic imitation of hair, pokes out of what Larry guesses is the kitchen from how fumes seem to be coming from it.
"Did somebody say 'divine porno mags'?" it asks in a woman's voice.
"Yeth, a whole load of 'em!" the Oldthinker says enthusiastically, pointing at the pile.
"Huh!" the angel replies, and steps out into the living room in full - she appears to be entirely metallic, though wearing a bright red flannel shirt and a set of gray overalls. Stepping over to the pile, she looks at the smut before her. "So it is."
"Thith here ith Larry," the Oldthinker introduces his new friend, "and he can thummon porn and hatth at will."
"Yeah, yeah, Larry, whatever," she goes, picking up a mag of her own and starting to read. "Hey, cool! Shapeshifters galore!"
"Thath Phinny," the Oldthinker tells Larry and laughs.
* * * * *
John, seeing no reason why he wouldn't go to the office of the boss first and foremost, moves forward along with James to the Chief of Medicine's little corner of the hospital, finding the door unlocked and the office within relatively normal, if entirely devoid of life.
John's first step is to check the desk for any valuables - stumbling over to the center of the room, he pulls the first drawer open - inside is but a single envelope in a strange-smelling puddle of water that it seems to have produced - the whole thing is sopping wet. However, two words are clearly legible on its surface, chiefly because they've been scrawled on in large blue letters - they read TO JAMES, and appear to have been written in marker.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, always seeking to impress, knows exactly the best way to get a drink, and it's not to go out drinking, contrary to the expectations of his friends.
"Even better: magic!"
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 4+1]
With a single mighty effort of his plump mind, he pulls all the nearby booze inward and, consequently, upward!
After about a minute passes he begins to consider the possibility that there is no booze in the near vicinity. Or if there is, it's probably locked securely in some teacher's cabinet or cupboard, or maybe in a locker. Thing is, nothing's coming his way.
"How about we just get drunk the regular way and give magic a rest?" Joanie asks.
"Amen to that. I know a bar that's not too far from here," Nigel concurs, and the two of them begin to leave.
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on July 21, 2014, 09:42:21 am
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 21, 2014, 10:08:06 am
Post by: lawastooshort on July 21, 2014, 10:21:14 am
Lawtooshort, you better not waste this opportunity for potato trackers, I think we all know a potato themed superhero is what we all need the most of right now.
I thought enchanting potatoes would be more useful - I am carrying a sack of potatoes, as far as I recall, and I could then also summon a vortex of potatoes and enchant them. And then empathise with them.
I will think it over and see if I can post my choice before I leave.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 21, 2014, 10:23:07 am
((How expedient? This turn? Next one?))
You'd say the next one - there's still some distance to cover.
Post by: Pancaek on July 21, 2014, 10:23:19 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 21, 2014, 10:27:29 am
"Yo, James, come over here for a second. There's a letter adressed to you in this drawer." John beckons James over, pointing out the envelope to him
He takes the envelope, examining it.
"What? How?"
Curiously, he tries to open it up, only for his finger to go right through the soaked paper, and his attempts to salvage the situation only make things worse. He begins to panic a little, which spells further doom as the entire thing becomes a torn, dripping mess in his hands.
"Um... I don't think it's readable."
Post by: Toaster on July 21, 2014, 10:38:53 am
Larry laughed; he had felt the holiness spark there; the power flowed through him and seemed to make things simpler. He'd have to get some more of that kind of magic. "I can also do eldritch cocaine, but that comes out in a blast everywhere; it's tricky stuff. Few others that aren't as interesting. Hi, Phinny. Who's Trina again?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 21, 2014, 11:38:43 am
Spoiler: dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Xantalos on July 21, 2014, 12:03:19 pm
To the bar!
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 21, 2014, 12:18:11 pm
Oh look, Larry made a friend!
Larry laughed; he had felt the holiness spark there; the power flowed through him and seemed to make things simpler. He'd have to get some more of that kind of magic. "I can also do eldritch cocaine, but that comes out in a blast everywhere; it's tricky stuff. Few others that aren't as interesting. Hi, Phinny. Who's Trina again?"
"You prolly don't know Trina. She thometimeth cometh around. Lookth like thith," he says, showing you the picture in the mag. It's a very skinny woman, in the state of undress you would expect from such a magazine, somewhat attractive despite a distinct strangeness to her appearance - she's drenched in sweat from the looks of it, and she seems to be holding a brightly shining lightbulb above her head with one hand. Her eyes have a distant, dreamy quality, and she looks not all there. "Thath Trina. They retouched her lookth a little, but she'th thtill real pretty."
"Anywho, whatth thith about eldritch cocaine? Whatth the problem with that?"
Phinny, for her part, just keeps ogling the mag.
"Right... I'll be in the kitchen if you need me for anything," she says a little absently, and disappears back into the kitchen, mag still in hand, not taking her eyes off it for a second.
Post by: Toaster on July 21, 2014, 12:20:40 pm
The face-pain from last time provokes Larry to another bit of restraint.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 21, 2014, 12:22:49 pm
Larry nods. "Not bad. But yeah, it's not so much the cocaine as how it comes out- like a tornado. It's all up in your face, and would probably smash this place. Better do it outside."
The face-pain from last time provokes Larry to another bit of restraint.
"Ith the thtuff any good?"
Post by: Toaster on July 21, 2014, 12:54:45 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 21, 2014, 01:10:51 pm
Larry paused. "Uh... it's pretty eldritch. Broke out my face mostly."
"What'th 'eldritch' mean, though?"
Post by: Toaster on July 21, 2014, 01:23:25 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 21, 2014, 01:32:43 pm
"It means my face grew hair tentacles."
"Thoundth pretty funny, but probably leth tho when it happenth to you, eh? What elthe have you got?"
Post by: Toaster on July 21, 2014, 01:37:26 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 21, 2014, 01:40:31 pm
Larry squints as he thinks on his spell list. "Uh... can disintegrate guns and shoot lice and trouser golems. Not quite as exciting, but I can always try to get different spells."
"Dithintegrate gunth? That thoundth pretty utheful. Anywho, how do you get new thpellth, then?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 21, 2014, 01:46:53 pm
She then turned to address the Police Officer.
"I'm very sorry madam. Me and my friend here were investigating those peculiar individuals when we had an accident. I got worried about her health, so that's why I shouted. But it seems as though she wasn't seriously injured after all."
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 21, 2014, 01:52:30 pm
"Oh, Lois! You're OK! I was so worried." Eta said as she helped Lois stand up and supported her, if necessary.
She then turned to address the Police Officer.
"I'm very sorry madam. Me and my friend here were investigating those peculiar individuals when we had an accident. I got worried about her health, so that's why I shouted. But it seems as though she wasn't seriously injured after all."
"What peculiar individuals?"
"Ugh... my head hurts. Everything's spinning," Lois interjects, not really talking to anyone in particular.
"And what was this accident?"
Post by: Toaster on July 21, 2014, 02:20:42 pm
Offer binder to Oldthinker.
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 21, 2014, 03:06:50 pm
She is a police officer. I suppose there's no harm in telling her what I was doing here. While leaving out the bits that might make me sound like a crazy person, of course. It's not like I was doing anything illegal. Right?
Despite those reassuring thoughts and what her reason was telling her, Eta still felt a small amount of fear for the police officer on a subconscious level, mostly fearing that she somehow knew about this whole thylacine pillar incident. She hoped that if any of her worry made it to her voice, the police officer would disregard it as related to the "you're not supposed to be here" stare the officer was giving her.
"A..." I can't say a blessed-cheese-induced vision of what was probably a divine entity. "...source of mine told me that there might be something interesting in this location. When we arrived, we spotted three individuals on the roof. The two were standing behind the third, who was standing dangerously close to the hole in the roof. I found this extremely strange, so I decided I should investigate. We tried making our way up through those pillars, so that we could get a better look of the roof undetected, but we fell."
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 21, 2014, 03:52:42 pm
"Ssshhh. It's OK. Do you want to lie down for a second?" she said and offered to help Lois lie down.
She is a police officer. I suppose there's no harm in telling her what I was doing here. While leaving out the bits that might make me sound like a crazy person, of course. It's not like I was doing anything illegal. Right?
Despite those reassuring thoughts and what her reason was telling her, Eta still felt a small amount of fear for the police officer on a subconscious level, mostly fearing that she somehow knew about this whole thylacine pillar incident. She hoped that if any of her worry made it to her voice, the police officer would disregard it as related to the "you're not supposed to be here" stare the officer was giving her.
"A..." I can't say a blessed-cheese-induced vision of what was probably a divine entity. "...source of mine told me that there might be something interesting in this location. When we arrived, we spotted three individuals on the roof. The two were standing behind the third, who was standing dangerously close to the hole in the roof. I found this extremely strange, so I decided I should investigate. We tried making our way up through those pillars, so that we could get a better look of the roof undetected, but we fell."
Lois seems amiable to the idea of lying down, as she seems to be better at that than standing up.
"You decided you should investigate. Uh-huh. What were you hoping to find here?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 21, 2014, 04:42:17 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 21, 2014, 04:54:47 pm
"My source told me there was something here related to all those strange things happening in the city lately. They called it a 'leyline'. Now, I didn't know whether or not to believe them, but a claim such as this surely needed investigating, don't you think? So when I saw those people, I thought I could perhaps gain some more information out of spying on them."
"Why were you investigating it?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 22, 2014, 06:13:43 pm
In fact, he finds it a legitimate question. Thinking on the matter, he dares say there isn't really anything he can do about it, at least not until he gets some more magical power. He could maybe get some kind of music to set the mood, or maybe some form of- wait, why is his pig-leg squealing? What's the... oh, that underwear master sure seems to be coming his way fast. Look at it go, leaping over the rivers in single bounds, punching mold horses out of the way! Were it not coming to murder Dave incredibly hard from the looks of it, the sight of it would be almost admirable!
* * * * *
Finding a bar to be a sensible second choice after magical booze attraction, THE DUNKER goes along with Nigel's plan. And thus the three quickly head down the stairs and out the back entrance, walking out into the streets and off to the location of Nigel's choice, which just so happens to be a bar by the name of the Malloy-McCoy, as the man explains on the way. It's definitely not the seediest establishment around, and appears to be sorely lacking in any credentials or, indeed, any sort of signage. Indeed, it just looks like somebody's townhouse, although there are a few people drinking on the porch. As the group approaches, they - a very young woman who may in fact actually be a teenage girl with an empty glass in her hand and a very hairy teenage boy with horrendous cystic acne - wave immediately.
"Nigel in the house!" the girl says, laughing.
"Bringin' in the whales as usual!" the boy adds.
"Cheeky fucks," Nigel mutters as they walk inside, where they are met by a first floor evidently undergoing renovation, judging by all the knocked-down walls and debris lying about. An impromptu bar appears to have been set up in the middle of the floor out of cinderblocks only barely covered up by particle board. Behind it stands a very shaggy, small individual wearing a welder's mask and mixing a mean drink for a nearby woman in her twenties. A whole lot of ratty couches line the walls, populated by a friendly-looking, rather varied crowd, all of who seem to fairly young people.
The three walk up to the bar and sit down on what are probably stolen barstools - after mixing the drink for the woman, the bartender turns to the three newcomers.
"Nigel. Who are your two new friends?" he asks, sounding very much like an upper class Londoner with a basso voice.
"The girl is Joanie."
"Hey."
"And the other guy is... fuck if I know. Who are you, anyway?" Nigel asks of THE DUNKER.
"And more importantly, what will you have to drink?" the bartender adds.
* * * * *
Being on the giving side of exposition is quite a pleasant experience for Larry, and he provides it very freely. After all, the Oldthinker's kind of a cool guy.
"This is what the fat guy gave me; just stare into it and the spells go in your head. Give it a crack if you like," he says, handing him his binder. The Oldthinker looks at it carefully, putting the mag he had on the floor.
"Huh," he says, leafing through it. "It'th like thome kind of connecting thing. With a relay on the way. Cool. Putth thpellth in your head, huh? Well, I'm not gonna meth with it, jutht in cathe. I've been known to break thethe thingth," he explains, handing it back to Larry. Just then, the angel that brought him here returns, followed by a strange creature - a vaguely humanoid shape, made entirely out of buzzing bees. Its surface undulates as the bees move about, and Larry kind of wonders if it has anything other than bees in it, like a skeleton or something. There is a beehive-ish look to some of the torso, Larry guesses.
"Hey, look who's up!" the angel triumphantly declares.
"I have no idea how you do that," the Oldthinker replies, and the creature's monotonous buzz grows in intensity for a moment. All these bees make Larry a bit nervous, in all honesty. He's not allergic or anything, of course, but still.
"It's all in the- hey, hats!" the angel says, picking up a fine chapeau from the pile and offering it to her bee friend, who immediately puts it on, looking a little comical as the bees struggle to hold its weight uniformly, causing it to shake a little as the creature moves around. "And smut! You put all this here, Larry?" she asks, moving over to examine the gentlemen's literature on the ground.
Post by: Xantalos on July 22, 2014, 06:42:28 pm
I'll have ... what do you have that I could drink?
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 22, 2014, 06:59:57 pm
Post by: Toaster on July 22, 2014, 10:55:33 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 23, 2014, 06:17:44 am
I'm The DUNKER. Don't ask, let's just say that substituting cocaine with ground-up peanuts is a bad idea.
I'll have ... what do you have that I could drink?
"It works like this, basically - you make a request. I check if I have the appropriate beverages and supplies to make it. If not, I put in a call to Malloy, who puts in a call to McCoy, and it'll be here from tomorrow at the very latest and within the hour at the earliest. In the meantime, I make you some roughly similar, though no less sophisticated counteroffers."
"On that note, the usual for me."
"Understood. And for the lady?"
"Er, I dunno. Some wine?"
"Any preferences?"
"Whatever's on hand, I guess. Put some ice in it."
"And you, Mr. Dunker?"
Larry nodded. "Did Cal mention the magic I had? That's a couple things I can do, yeah. Help yourself," he said, gesturing to the piles. "Chick who started with us could swankify them, but I haven't seen her for a while."
"Thwankify? Ith that even a word?"
"One of those modern ones. It basically means 'pimp out'."
"Oh! I thee."
"And yeah, Cal's talking about his two 'wards' all the time. It's his first job of that sort, and I hear he's halfway screwed it up already. Kind of tragic, really," the angel says, still looking around the pile intently. She sits down, followed by the bee creature, and begins rooting through it, occasionally examining a promising mag, then putting it aside. One in particular she seems to be interested in - it doesn't even look like it has any pictures on the cover, it's just a whole lot of red with some hardly visible golden lettering. "Heh. You've got the Red issue here."
Post by: Xantalos on July 23, 2014, 06:24:03 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 23, 2014, 06:26:59 am
Anything that has a pastry-related name.
"Oh, like a Dropped Croissant?"
Post by: Xantalos on July 23, 2014, 06:38:15 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 23, 2014, 06:58:53 am
That's good.
The bartender quickly provides you with three quarters of a pint of wine, into which he drops a croissant. He provides some of the same wine (with ice) to Joanie, and some sort of fruity drink that includes whiskey in it to Nigel.
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 23, 2014, 07:10:06 am
"Because... it might be related to all those strange thongs happening around the city lately? That sounds like a good enough reason to investigate to me." Eta repeated herself, kinda confused from the question, given that she had already answered it."My source told me there was something here related to all those strange things happening in the city lately. They called it a 'leyline'. Now, I didn't know whether or not to believe them, but a claim such as this surely needed investigating, don't you think? So when I saw those people, I thought I could perhaps gain some more information out of spying on them."
"Why were you investigating it?"
Post by: Pancaek on July 23, 2014, 07:43:32 am
Give this room one more quick look for clues/valuables. Then go to the administration room and scour that place for clues/information/valuables
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 23, 2014, 07:52:36 am
"Because... it might be related to all those strange thongs happening around the city lately? That sounds like a good enough reason to investigate to me." Eta repeated herself, kinda confused from the question, given that she had already answered it.
"Yes, I suppose we've established that already. Follow me."
Post by: Toaster on July 23, 2014, 07:59:11 am
"So where is Cal, anyway? Didn't realize he was new, heh. Did a good job saving us from a mafia bean." He frowns for a second. "Did he ever say what was up with the other guy? He's got this huge boner for potatoes all of a sudden."
"Because... it might be related to all those strange thongs happening around the city lately?Eta
((Freud appreciates your typo there.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 23, 2014, 08:27:20 am
"So where is Cal, anyway? Didn't realize he was new, heh. Did a good job saving us from a mafia bean." He frowns for a second. "Did he ever say what was up with the other guy? He's got this huge boner for potatoes all of a sudden."
"Probably still catching up with the others. Don't worry, if he needs anything, he knows where to find you."
"He'th not new, though, thrictly thpeaking. Been around longer than me."
"Yeah, he's just not had much experience with mortal dealings. He's been more of the party type. And I don't mean the Phinny type of party, but the general kind. He's trying to be all serious now, though. Responsible. That kind of thing."
"Too bad it'th not working out well, though."
The bee guy buzzes sadly, though you're not sure how he manages such a thing.
"Yeah, the dude who's not you he's completely lost track of, apparently. Drives him up the wall. Been hearing that the dude was stirring up trouble on the Moon, too. With a demon."
"Shame they get mickthed up in buthineth like that."
"Well, it's his choice. You know how it is."
For a moment, the room goes quiet, only the buzzing of the bee guy and a bubbling from the kitchen preventing total silence.
"But damn if that's not a downer topic. Now come on, Beagle, help me find the issue," the angel lady says, and the bee guy buzzes questioningly. "You know, the issue," she says, and Beagle begins to help her.
Post by: Toaster on July 23, 2014, 08:58:57 am
((Exposition!))
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on July 23, 2014, 09:02:19 am
And that is why you should never invite me to parties.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 23, 2014, 09:26:00 am
"The Moon, huh. Yeaaaaah..." Larry is also silent and avoiding eye contact, then jumps at the conversation change. "But yeah, magic. Good stuff, yeah. Cal gave me some holy or something, so I wouldn't die or whatever out here, and it helped with the magic. How's that all work together? Gotta figure out how to get the most out of the power."
((Exposition!))
"You're part angel now, bathically."
"Yeah, that's one of the ways you can go. Get more power from the Source, and you slowly become more than that. I don't know if you can become a full angel, but I don't really see why not, either."
She stops rooting through the pile.
"You know, Beagle, I'm sort of wondering if it even is here."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 23, 2014, 09:31:04 am
((I like how everyone with magic treats all this insanity extremely casually. "Oh hey, you found a guy that shoots canned goods and watermelons? Have a drink!" and "Oh look, I'm suddenly in a house floating above Saturn. Think I'll show off my hat and smut tricks!"))((Don't forget "I appear to be horribly mutated and in a realm of my own creation populated by sapient undergarments. Better make a deal with the dark mold gods and lay siege to a city."))
Post by: Toaster on July 23, 2014, 10:24:22 am
He glances at the pile. "I could try to get some more if you can't find it. Cal probably knows where more are too; some pawn shop guy had a bunch but he moved them somewhere."
((Also, question; how do multiple plusses work? If I cast a divine spell (two separate +1s) and get a natural five, is it 5+1->ExplodeDieResult+1? What if the power roll becomes +2? How does that affect a 5? Just curious because Larry could become overshoot city with divine spells if he adds more affinity or picks up more bonuses.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 23, 2014, 12:00:22 pm
Larry nods and grins a bit. "Heh. Sweet. Do you still do that whole flaming sword bit or whatever it was?"
He glances at the pile. "I could try to get some more if you can't find it. Cal probably knows where more are too; some pawn shop guy had a bunch but he moved them somewhere."
"I'm not really sure what you mean by the flaming sword bit, so I guess not. And yeah, conjure up some more, please."
((Also, question; how do multiple plusses work? If I cast a divine spell (two separate +1s) and get a natural five, is it 5+1->ExplodeDieResult+1? What if the power roll becomes +2? How does that affect a 5? Just curious because Larry could become overshoot city with divine spells if he adds more affinity or picks up more bonuses.))
Two +1s are actually something I do purely to differentiate origin (so that you know that the origins are different) - there's no difference mechanically between a +1+1 and a +2, so if you have a 5+1+1, that's the same as a 5+2 and roughly equivalent to a 6-->4 in spell research and a 6-->5 for most other things. This system is actually geared to decrease prevalence of overshots as attributes increase, with them becoming impossible (along with critical failures) right when you get a +3. To get a +3, you need to either specialize uselessly hard (kind of like Dave right now) or accrue contextual bonuses in combination with high Affinity (like Larry) - Larry currently has a 1/3rd possibility of getting a +3 on Affinity with a Divine or Angel spell, and that's with all of what he's done so far.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 23, 2014, 12:06:22 pm
Specialize uselessly hard?Larry nods and grins a bit. "Heh. Sweet. Do you still do that whole flaming sword bit or whatever it was?"
He glances at the pile. "I could try to get some more if you can't find it. Cal probably knows where more are too; some pawn shop guy had a bunch but he moved them somewhere."
"I'm not really sure what you mean by the flaming sword bit, so I guess not. And yeah, conjure up some more, please."((Also, question; how do multiple plusses work? If I cast a divine spell (two separate +1s) and get a natural five, is it 5+1->ExplodeDieResult+1? What if the power roll becomes +2? How does that affect a 5? Just curious because Larry could become overshoot city with divine spells if he adds more affinity or picks up more bonuses.))
Two +1s are actually something I do purely to differentiate origin (so that you know that the origins are different) - there's no difference mechanically between a +1+1 and a +2, so if you have a 5+1+1, that's the same as a 5+2 and roughly equivalent to a 6-->4 in spell research and a 6-->5 for most other things. This system is actually geared to decrease prevalence of overshots as attributes increase, with them becoming impossible (along with critical failures) right when you get a +3. To get a +3, you need to either specialize uselessly hard (kind of like Dave right now) or accrue contextual bonuses in combination with high Affinity (like Larry) - Larry currently has a 1/3rd possibility of getting a +3 on Affinity with a Divine or Angel spell, and that's with all of what he's done so far.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 23, 2014, 12:10:44 pm
Specialize uselessly hard?
Well, not exactly uselessly hard, since you can still cast magic somewhat effectively if given a turn to prepare, but still past the point of diminishing returns. Not that Mind is the worst stat to specialize in, of course.
Post by: Xantalos on July 23, 2014, 12:17:21 pm
Drink/eat the concoction.
Post by: Toaster on July 23, 2014, 12:18:03 pm
Vomit up more smut.
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
So how does a +3 work if it prevents overshoots?
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 23, 2014, 12:26:30 pm
So how does a +3 work if it prevents overshoots?
An overshot happens if you roll 6, then less than 4 - if you have a +3, the lowest you can roll is 6-->1+3, which is 6-->4, and a critical success. Naturally, a 6-->6+3 will also have many elements classically associated with overshoots, but this is unlikely to harm you or others you have not intended to harm in the first place (unless said harm lies from misunderstanding the full logical consequences of a certain action, like conjuring a storm of cocaine centering on your own location). So no real ER-style overshoots for you past that point, though I feel that maybe I tend to be a bit lenient with them even when they are actually supposed to happen.
Post by: Toaster on July 23, 2014, 12:48:54 pm
And nothing can prevent the stupidity of characters from putting themselves in danger. Not that we'd want it to, anyway.
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 23, 2014, 01:09:51 pm
"Uuuhh... Sure, just a moment, I need to make sure my friend is OK. Where are we going officer...?""Because... it might be related to all those strange thongs happening around the city lately? That sounds like a good enough reason to investigate to me." Eta repeated herself, kinda confused from the question, given that she had already answered it."Yes, I suppose we've established that already. Follow me."
See if Lois is capable of walking with my assistance.
((Hopefully she just wants to talk to me and not hand me over to the MIB or worse.))
((Whoever pot I next to O needs to be shot. Because it is a valid word, my spell-checker doesn't underline it so I miss it."Because... it might be related to all those strange thongs happening around the city lately?
((Freud appreciates your typo there.))
Still, given that "underwear" is a valid spell component word, strange thongs probably have been happening around the city lately, as illustrated by the underwear comet.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 23, 2014, 02:18:39 pm
"Uuuhh... Sure, just a moment, I need to make sure my friend is OK. Where are we going officer...?"
See if Lois is capable of walking with my assistance.
She seems quite capable of walking with your assistance, though very much unsteady on her feet.
"To the local precinct. I'd like to ask you some questions. And to maybe get some medical aid for your friend if she needs it."
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 23, 2014, 02:41:24 pm
Follow.
((I can think of so many ways this can go wrong...
Trusting others is in Eta's character. And I have a lawyer with me. And powerful magic on my side.
Despite that, I've watched enough Law and Order\Criminal Minds to know that things can go terribly wrong in a million ways when police and prosecutors are involved.
Especially when there's a chance you accidentally became a wanted magi-terrorist and then booked a hotel room that later became the scene of a magi-crime you have no knowledge of.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 24, 2014, 05:01:45 pm
[Dave's affinity roll: 5-1]
A black, floury mound begins to rise before one of the banks of the rivers in front of him, directly standing in the way of the underwear master's approach - it increases in size, becoming very much like a wall, complicating the master's approach.
[Underwear Master's body roll: 5+1]
Not overly so, of course, since it isn't a very tall barrier, and it seems absolutely overjoyed at somebody being ingenious enough to bound over it, and the underwear master is delayed for but a step by its presence, perhaps not even that - within moments, it is right next to Dave!
[Underwear Master vs. Dave: 3+1 vs. 3-1]
With one hand it picks up Dave by the clown, which is very uncomfortable and which Dave would prefer that the creature stop doing, since it's not good for his spine and why is it staring contemplatively at him it's wondering how best to kill him isn't it would it please stop oh dear he's going to die now isn't he.
* * * * *
Pronouncing things such as disintegrating letters "probably not all that important", John continues to search the room for valuables, and it takes him only the small step to the next drawer to locate something of interesting - some kind of ledger or record or whatever, filled with names. They look like patient files, various documentation, all manner of things, but with a little twist to them - there's actually only two names in them. One is Dr. James. The other is Mary, who seems to be the patient in all instances.
He finds it slightly spooky, and wonders if he should continue searching. Maybe there's more stuff like this in there, stuff he doesn't really want to find.
* * * * *
Finding the drink before him most appealing, THE DUNKER half-eats, half-drinks the concoction, only to discover that it is actually more delicious than it seemed at first glance. Almost as good as donuts, in fact. And the three quarters of a pint of wine he just swallowed round out the experience quite nicely. It's not classy, but it sure is a drink that gladdens the soul and goes right to the hips, like all good things in life.
"Is that any good?" Joanie asks, looking at the curious beverage while sipping her wine.
"Look at him. He loves it," Nigel says, finishing his own drink within moments.
"I was thinking maybe I should have one. Hey, bartender, give me one of what he had," she says, turning to the bartender, who quickly fixes one up for her.
"Just be careful there, girl. It's less wine than it looks like, but it does go your head quickly," he says, handing it to the girl, who immediately sets her current drink aside and commences the dreating. Eanking? Something of that sort. She does rather well on it, too, her pace none too shabby, and pretty soon she's done, putting the empty glass down.
"Say, that is really good," Joanie says, smiling.
"Amazing. You didn't even fall out of your chair."
* * * * *
Always helpful in these matters, Larry commences the pornographic vomiting he is known and loved for without hesitation.
[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->3+2]
A slightly sore feeling builds in his throat as his entire digestive system convulses, propelling a steady stream of gentlemen's literature out of his suddenly widened maw, creating another pile even larger and smuttier than the previous within moments, followed by a short pause, and then ended with a powerful cough that makes one last couple of mags shoot out. Fortunately, the best thing about magic is that the feeling of a huge amount of risque material erupting forth from his esophagus is something all too easy to forget in the wake of the amazing feeling providing such a party favor brings afterward.
"That wath even better than latht time."
"Indeed impressive! Now, let's see here," the angel begins to dig through the new pile, joined by Beagle.
"What were you looking for, again?" the Oldthinker wonders, stepping closer to the pile.
"This one issue! It's got Steve on the cover."
"Thteve? Ithn't he dead?"
"Well, yeah, he is, but that's not the point!"
"I can thee a pretty good theraph ithue from here."
"Eh, those are good for a laugh, but not much more."
* * * * *
Eta, freely trusting an officer of the law like any responsible citizen, follows readily, because that's what you do in these situations. The walk there is unsteady on account of Lois, and the streets look relatively empty, with a few more or less cautious pedestrians walking around more or less cautiously, and a few cars making their way around the neighborhood every few minutes.
"You shouldn't really be investigating any sites of recent unexplained activity, ma'am," the officer reminds her as they make their way down the street. "They can be very dangerous - it took us a lot of time to catch all the sasquatch things who were running around the neighborhood previously, and some still escaped, like the one right there in the front yard," she says, pointing at the hairy humanoid still chewing on a bone of some sort. "If it became aggressive, it could have seriously hurt you. The curfew's there for a reason - we don't know what's happening right now, but it is very clear that a lot of it poses a danger to the regular citizen."
They continue walking, reaching what is very obviously the police precinct quite quickly - within the group are met by a minimalist interior populated by rather disgruntled, peeved and just plain confused police officers, as well as a frazzled receptionist, and the officer leads the two of them past all that, to a none-too-isolated desk, where she sits down and pulls up two currently unoccupied chairs for Eta and Lois to sit down as well.
The officer, whose name tag, much more readable under this lighting than in the shabby illumination of the overcast sky out there, informs Eta that her last name seems to be Rieux, her first initial is an I, and that her rank is that of a sergeant, starts up a rather antiquated computer sitting next to her. While an equally antiquated operating system loads, she fetches a notepad and a pen.
"Now, first things first, if you'd be so kind as to tell me your name," she asks. "And your friend's name as well, if you don't mind."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 24, 2014, 05:12:50 pm
"You asked for it bro."Engulf in Enchanted Angel Ghosts
Spoiler: dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 24, 2014, 08:07:32 pm
Okay, just stay calm. They've got their own problems. I'll just answer any questions they make as truthfully as I can and hope they find something more important to worry about. Who knows? If I'm lucky, maybe the information I give them will end up helping them. Yeah, they are working for the greater good, so any help I give them will end up benefiting everyone.
"I'm Henrietta R. Hippo and this is Lois- " Uuuh, wait, what was her last name again? I gave her one, right? Uhh... Lawyer, Lois, Lawis, Law is, Law is... Law is Justice! Lois- "- Justice. Pleased to make your acquaintance Miss..." Eta paused as she looked at her name tag again to make sure she got the name right. "Miss Rieux."
((Oh, hey I figured out another way it can get worst! They tie Henrietta to those missing detectives investigating Pilton.))
Post by: Toaster on July 24, 2014, 09:08:03 pm
Post by: Xantalos on July 25, 2014, 12:40:47 am
Got any donuts in this place?
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 25, 2014, 04:19:57 am
"I'm Henrietta R. Hippo and this is Lois- " Uuuh, wait, what was her last name again? I gave her one, right? Uhh... Lawyer, Lois, Lawis, Law is, Law is... Law is Justice! Lois- "- Justice. Pleased to make your acquaintance Miss..." Eta paused as she looked at her name tag again to make sure she got the name right. "Miss Rieux."
The officer smiles pleasantly and nods while making notes of what you just said.
"Likewise, ma'am. Where do the two of you work, if I may ask?"
"Yeah, this magic shit's pretty sweet. Who's this Steve fellow?"
"Used to be a weird giant ostrich thing with a whole lot of heads. Sounded like a dinosaur."
"No telling what he'll reform ath, though."
"Or when he'll be back, either. It gets kind of confusing when you're-aha!" the angel says, triumphantly retrieving a single mag. On the cover you see Steve, who you realize is the same thing that had a problem with Halesey on the Moon, and with this realization you become overly aware of the strange fact that you've been to the Moon, and currently are on Saturn, which probably makes you at the very least a junior space explorer.
Congratulations! the DUNKER says to ... Joanne? Joanie? Joanie, before being interrupted by his stomach paging him. He turns to the bartender.
Got any donuts in this place?
"Yes, ordered quite a few just yesterday. Any preferences?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 25, 2014, 04:27:24 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 25, 2014, 04:35:00 am
((Uh, I've never stated Eta's profession and it has never come up before. Do I just say whatever I want (within reason) and assume it's true? Or do I say she's unemployed? Or do I just post an action saying "Reply truthfully" and it gets abstracted?))
Well, I'd prefer if you stated a definite answer (and yes, it will be assumed that you're telling the truth unless you state otherwise), although abstraction also works.
Post by: Xantalos on July 25, 2014, 04:48:45 am
Post by: Toaster on July 25, 2014, 10:14:16 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 25, 2014, 10:27:48 am
No, beyond 'the more the better'.
The bartender ducks down and produces a box of donuts, about three-quarters full right now. Most of them are glazed, some have sprinkles, a few are bare.
"So... does he die and come back? Does he hold grudges?"
"Yeah, he'll come back. And most people who come back don't hold grudges, since we're supposed to be angels and all, but Steve might. Steve's kind of..."
"He'th kind of a dick that way."
"Pretty much. Not as bad as the old crowd, of course, but still," she says, leafing through the mag. "Ah, here we are! Check it out, old man," she says, showing the Oldthinker a certain page in the mag.
"Oh, thath what you were looking for!" the Oldthinker says, grinning.
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 25, 2014, 10:32:48 am
"I work as a freelance reporter. I've written a few things here and there, politics, lifestyle, anything I could sell, but nothing major. Maybe you've happened to read my name somewhere, if you're observant."
Eta looked at Lois for a moment. She decided to continue speaking for her, both due to the fact that Lois wasn't in a very good condition and because Lois didn't really knew all that much due to her nature.
"Lois here is a Lawyer, but she's unemployed at the moment. You know how the economy is these days. Anyway, she's been helping me with my research." Technically true, since she is my research.
Post by: Toaster on July 25, 2014, 10:40:30 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 25, 2014, 10:46:09 am
"I work as a freelance reporter. I've written a few things here and there, politics, lifestyle, anything I could sell, but nothing major. Maybe you've happened to read my name somewhere, if you're observant."
Eta looked at Lois for a moment. She decided to continue speaking for her, both due to the fact that Lois wasn't in a very good condition and because Lois didn't really knew all that much due to her nature.
"Lois here is a Lawyer, but she's unemployed at the moment. You know how the economy is these days. Anyway, she's been helping me with my research." Technically true, since she is my research.
((No disagreements there.))
"I've never really heard of your work, but I don't exactly keep up with the news, either. Do you have a blog, maybe?"
"But anyway, you said you found out something about these... leylines, as you called them. Can you elaborate on any of that?"
"Is that one of those pages that causes most people to burst into flame? Because Halesey found one of those. It was stapled shut, at least."
"Oh no, thothe are theraph ithueth."
"Yeah, they send mortals on the fast track to heaven simply from looking at them. Naked seraphim, man. But this is harmless. Just something I'm kind of proud of," the angel says, handing you the mag. Looking at it, you begin to understand why she was looking for it - this particular issue's bonus feature appears to be a shoot featuring her. She looks pretty good in it. And more than a little different from her current appearance, partly because she's got no clothes on in it. Also, it has her name in it, which seems to be Arielle.
Post by: Toaster on July 25, 2014, 11:44:10 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 25, 2014, 11:55:50 am
Larry stared at the magazine a bit longer that was probably socially acceptable. "Huh. Not bad, eh." He coughed. "So what's up with those seraphs?"
"Oh, they're kind of weird, in a way. Pretty close to the source, and they've got a whole lot of wings that they use to keep their bodies covered. You can usually look at them just fine."
"When the wingth part, though, betht to avert your eyeth."
"Yeah, being flashed by a seraph when you're not an angel sends you right into our space, and you're technically dead then. But you're in the heavens after that, no matter what you've done so far, so it has a lot of pluses. Too bad that assholes can get into heaven that way, though."
"Even demonth, apparently, which ith problematic, thinthe they have no way to tell arrivalth apart. They all look like virtuouth mortalth."
Post by: Toaster on July 25, 2014, 12:18:06 pm
((To see one safely, if that's not clear.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 25, 2014, 12:29:52 pm
Larry nodded slowly. "Uh.. huh. What about that shot of holy Cal gave me to get here? That enough?"
"Well, there'th one way to find out," the Oldthinker shrugs, retrieving a single seraph issue. "Wanna try?"
"Water's ready!" Phinny shouts from the kitchen.
"Bring thome here! the Oldthinker shouts back. "Tho. How about it? You're already in heaven, after all."
Post by: Toaster on July 25, 2014, 12:33:38 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 25, 2014, 12:36:20 pm
Larry furrowed his brow (not that he'd ever say that in reality.) "Um. And if that doesn't work?"
"Being part angel should help, even if not protect you entirely, I think."
"If you start feeling hot, look away."
Post by: Toaster on July 25, 2014, 12:37:51 pm
"Uhh.. okay, sure."
Take the Seraph Challenge. Look away if it's too much, because cowardice trumps false bravado.
((It's probably this point I should ask what a 1->1 with a -1 results in.))
Post by: Pancaek on July 25, 2014, 01:14:41 pm
continue searching, dig deeper, unearth the secrets
Post by: Xantalos on July 25, 2014, 02:11:38 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 25, 2014, 02:40:46 pm
Very nice. May I ask how much per donut?
"Let's see... box cost me... hm, yes, so let's go with... a two dollars per donut?"
Post by: Xantalos on July 25, 2014, 02:46:36 pm
Fork over 2 dollars from my bit of money and take a glazed donut. Devour.
Spoiler: DUNKERTIME (click to show/hide)
((Also, can I get a GM ruling on how much money I have?))
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 25, 2014, 03:00:41 pm
((Also, can I get a GM ruling on how much money I have?))
Let's say about twenty on hand, about two hundred total in your bank account.
Post by: Xantalos on July 25, 2014, 03:01:56 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 25, 2014, 03:03:47 pm
((Alright. What about the 50 bucks plus change that I looted off of the old guy?))
Let's say 70 plus change on hand, about two hundred total in your bank account.
But overall, money's pretty much abstracted. It's assumed you have enough for most needs, and that's certainly true enough for you right now.
Post by: Xantalos on July 25, 2014, 03:06:53 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 25, 2014, 03:07:35 pm
((Excellent. I could buy 135 donuts with that much money.))
That's as many as thirteen and a half tens!
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 25, 2014, 08:13:32 pm
((And that's terrible.))((Excellent. I could buy 135 donuts with that much money.))That's as many as thirteen and a half tens!
"I've never really heard of your work, but I don't exactly keep up with the news, either. Do you have a blog, maybe?""Well, I've got some samples in my portfolio, but I didn't have any sort of blog. Never considered it, to tell you the truth. Although, now that you mentioned it, that does sound like a good idea. Documenting my investigations, putting them online...
"But anyway, you said you found out something about these... leylines, as you called them. Can you elaborate on any of that?"
Speaking of which, there's that supposed leyline. The one who told me about them said that they are some sort of magical energy centre. Now, normally, I would dismiss that as plain crazy. I mean, which sane, logical individual would believe in magic? But given all the things that have been happening lately... well, one could call them magical, no? Maybe not 'real' magic but some sort of phenomena that definitely lacks any obvious explanation. So if those leylines are supposed to be sources of magical energy, then that is surely something worth investigating. Perhaps it could lead to the cause of all these incidents, the true cause. Perhaps it could help us understand them.
But I couldn't make such a bold statement based on the word of one individual. I hardly believed it myself. So I decided some investigation was in order."
Eta paused to see if Rieux had any questions.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 26, 2014, 06:07:23 am
"Well, I've got some samples in my portfolio, but I didn't have any sort of blog. Never considered it, to tell you the truth. Although, now that you mentioned it, that does sound like a good idea. Documenting my investigations, putting them online...
Speaking of which, there's that supposed leyline. The one who told me about them said that they are some sort of magical energy centre. Now, normally, I would dismiss that as plain crazy. I mean, which sane, logical individual would believe in magic? But given all the things that have been happening lately... well, one could call them magical, no? Maybe not 'real' magic but some sort of phenomena that definitely lacks any obvious explanation. So if those leylines are supposed to be sources of magical energy, then that is surely something worth investigating. Perhaps it could lead to the cause of all these incidents, the true cause. Perhaps it could help us understand them.
But I couldn't make such a bold statement based on the word of one individual. I hardly believed it myself. So I decided some investigation was in order."
Eta paused to see if Rieux had any questions.
"Who was your informant?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 26, 2014, 04:56:53 pm
"You asked for it, bro," he says, and attempts to engulf the underwear master in enchanted angel ghosts.
[Dave's affinity roll: 4-1]
A single ghost of a glistening angel appears next to the underwear master and begins to orbit it, seemingly trying to give it a hug.
[Underwear Master's body roll: 5+1]
The creature stares at it for a moment, then goes on to resume what it was doing.
"You may find that you asked for this as well, good fellow," it says, beginning to tighten its grip around Dave's neck. Just then, though, a rampaging mold horse decides to intervene.
[Finesse: Rampaging Mold Horse vs. Underwear Master: 4+1 vs. 6+1-1]
"Oh dear, look who's coming," the underwear master says. "Best to wrap this up now, yes?"
[Underwear Master vs. Dave: 1+1 vs. 6-1-1]
However, Dave expertly uses the distraction of the mold horse to slip out, his mixture of clown, pig and human instincts pulling him through the situation in spite of his poor physical shape!
[Rampaging Mold Horse vs. Underwear Master: 4+1+1 vs. 1+1]
The rampaging mold horse, exploiting the sudden confusion of the underwear master at how it could possibly not have noticed somebody as floppy and waffle-like as Dave slip out of his grip, skewers the commander on several spikes of solid mold, which seem to hit whatever strange vitals the creature has, immediately terminating its living functions - the underwear composing it suddenly falls apart, disintegrating into a rough pile as the body topples to the ground.
The mold horse, for its part, just continues on its way after fetching a trophy from its kill, completely ignoring Dave.
* * * * *
Larry, quite susceptible to peer pressure, decides to take the Seraph Challenge. It is a shame that there is no one around to film his moxie.
"Uhh.. okay, sure."
He takes the magazine, until now known only by the disturbing nature of its content and by the lethality of its centerfold, stapled shut even in this copy. Larry, in a show of bravery, rips the centerfold open and looks within at the revealed form of the seraph.
For a moment he stares at the mysteries before his eyes and the sheer power contained within them - the power of the source. But Larry has some of that in himself, and so is unruffled. The mysteries do not attract him, and he does not bother to comprehend them. It's very much like looking at a Max Ernst painting, Larry finds, if Ernst could paint convincingly and disturbingly in seven dimensions. In short, it's kind of funny-looking, though Larry's mind remains steadfastly blank as he regards it. He stares at it for about a minute total, then nonchalantly looks back at his new friends.
"Lookth like you're angelic enough to path."
"So the mysteries of the quasi-divine are officially old hat to you," Arielle laughs, and Beagle buzzes along with her, imitating laughter in his own way. The Oldthinker, though, remains serious, and glances at the kitchen, from which Phinny emerges with a sizable cooking pot, balancing a set of rags on her head. She looks a little dizzy.
"A bit strong this time," she says a tad shakily, handing a single rag to everyone present, noticing that there's three left over. She laughs a little.
"Nonthenthe," the Oldthinker says, soaking a rag in the liquid in the pot, then putting it up to his own face. His eyes start to roll into the back of his head as he starts taking powerful whiffs, and he manages to breathe in a whole fifteen times before putting the rag down. The pupils of his eyes seem to have disappeared. "Eh, I've made thtronger."
Arielle tries to whiff it as well, but only manages three inhalations before beginning to cough. Larry isn't sure what she's inhaling or coughing with, or whether that's an appropriate question to even ask. "Well, you've certainly never shared the stronger ones with us, then," she observes, wiping her face intently. Beagle, meanwhile, just retreats from the pot.
* * * * *
John, saying fie to all the consequences, continues the search!
"Come, James. No matter how much we wish this wasn't happening, we must dig deeper!"
James steps closer, probably not having a clue what's even going on. The poor fool.
"Uh... what?"
But John only keeps searching, and when the rest of the chief of staff's office contains only empty picture frames and blank books, decides that this room is sufficiently explored, and heads out to the next one - the lawyer's office!
However, when he goes inside, he finds no office! Instead, there is merely a damp, impenetrably dark hole in the ground where an office should be - it has subsumed the desk, the shelves, everything - the room is featureless aside from its presence. It looks strangely welcoming, John observes, almost as if something soft were in its deepest reaches.
* * * * *
After working out a two-dollar-sample deal with the bartender, THE DUNKER forks over some of his hard-stolen cash to pay for a donut, which he immediately eats.
[THE DUNKER's mind roll: 6-->2+1]
He finds himself in a vast ocean of hot, molten lard - he floats like a ship on its surface, not minding the heat at all, sailing forth in search of brand new lands to explore. Never once does he question his course, for on his back he carries a vast number of enterprising little gnomes that seek to find a way to circumnavigate this strange world they live in via the molten streams of the equator. Although, he has to admit, he does have an ulterior motive that the gnomes do not know of - when he finds the New World, which he knows he will if he follows this stream, he shall eat it, for that is his way - the gnomes merely serve to deflect suspicion from his movements. This is a sensible plan.
Thus, as soon as he lets the gnomes accidentally stumble onto the New World in their exploration, he enjoys the look on their faces for but a moment before eating the continent they just found, and then eating the gnomes themselves before descending back into the lardy depths from which he spawned to birth a new generation of his vile offspring, who will then travel the universe in search of other landmasses and souls to eat. They are four in number, and as they grow, he is proud of all four, but only one manages to distinguish herself, and so he keeps her while eating the rest, feeling a white light fill him as he does so.
Spoiler: THE DUNKER's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
His regularly scheduled reality returns to him abruptly, the sight of the bartender and the donut box all but banishing the dreamlike images of before.
Post by: Xantalos on July 26, 2014, 05:09:55 pm
After emerging from his donut trance, the DUNKER grins.
Wow, that was a good one! How much for the box?
((That was actually a pretty awesome thing.))
Spoiler: The Original DUNKERoo (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on July 26, 2014, 05:16:33 pm
Post by: Toaster on July 26, 2014, 05:35:53 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 26, 2014, 08:39:13 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 27, 2014, 04:28:39 am
Wow, that was a good one! How much for the box?
"There's eleven donuts left, so I suppose... twenty two dollars, maybe? No, wait, make that twenty."
"Hmmm, this is irregular. I think." John grabs the magazine "Tell me, great magazine, anything you could tell me about this hole?"
~Looks pretty dangerous, but I doubt it is. Might be leading you somewhere. I think you're not in the regular universe anymore, in case what you've seen so far wasn't a hint, so irregularity is to be expected.~
Larry rubs his eyes. "Yeah... managed to just not uh... see it, I guess? What's that stuff?"
"I call it the water."
"He's tried to explain the ingredients to me, but that just confuses me more usually."
"He makes the mixture, and then he cooks it, and then we sniff it, and then the magic starts to happen."
"So uh... Shadows? Wanna chat?"
Nobody seems to want to chat with you.
Post by: Xantalos on July 27, 2014, 09:30:25 am
Buy donut box! Store it somewhere on my person that isn't my stomach.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on July 27, 2014, 09:38:00 am
My brain hurts so much right now.
Post by: Pancaek on July 27, 2014, 10:33:49 am
Grab james and jump into the portal together, possibly die a horrbile death
Spoiler: john (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 27, 2014, 11:44:12 am
Post by: Toaster on July 27, 2014, 01:09:06 pm
Take a hit myself; what the hell, right?
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 27, 2014, 01:12:07 pm
"Well can someone at least point me in the direction of those guys from earlier? Cause they seem far more likely to listen to me."
~I can point you in any direction you need! Who are you looking for?~
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 27, 2014, 02:03:27 pm
"I don't know. Just some guys with weird rules against priests and scholars.""Well can someone at least point me in the direction of those guys from earlier? Cause they seem far more likely to listen to me."
~I can point you in any direction you need! Who are you looking for?~
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 27, 2014, 02:04:52 pm
"I don't know. Just some guys with weird rules against priests and scholars."
~Oh, the VERY first guys! Yeah, you need to go that-a-way!~ the voice in your head says, and you instantly feel pointed in the right direction.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 27, 2014, 02:56:26 pm
Onward!
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 27, 2014, 07:30:31 pm
"Who was your informant?""If I'm going to answer that (or anything else that might pertain to the identity of my sources), then I'm going to have to ask a favour from you. If I share their name and you approach them and start asking questions, then it's very likely they won't trust me anymore and I loose an informant. If, however, you could offer a replacement, then I could be persuaded. So, what I'm asking is this: if anything comes out of the information I give you or if you hear anything related to this case, then I would like to be the first to know. Early enough to be the first reporter on the scene."
Maybe that sounded too demanding. I don't want her to feel like she's being threatened. I want her to feel like she's got an ally in me, a friend even.
"You give me your word you'll do that and I promise: anything I have discovered and anything I will discover, you will be the first to know."
I hope she doesn't think I'm crazy.
((Well, I've seen this work in movies. Let's see if it works in games.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 29, 2014, 03:52:06 pm
"Ugh. It's just wine with bread in it," he says, pulling a face. "How can you people enjoy this?"
"It's a matter of taste, Nigey," Joanie replies after finishing her second round, more than slightly drunk already. "We have it, you don't."
Just then, though, Joanie's phone rings, and she immediately picks up.
"Yeah?... Oh?... Huh!... Yeah, a little bit, heh... Right now? Malloy-McCoy. Come over, maybe? We'll talk there... whaddaya mean? It's totally cool. There's drinks and stuff, and nobody says nothing to nobody. So to speak, heh heh. So yeah, come on over. You know where it is, right? Right. See ya," she says, then hangs up, laughing to herself. She turns to her two friends.
"Hey, guys! Shauna's coming over. Raven, too, I guess. She's all up in a tizzy about something, I guess. So she might kill the mood a little. I hope you don't mind!"
"Somebody's always got a problem, isn't that the truth?"
* * * * *
John quickly follows the train of thought his magazine seems to have pointed him to, and realizes the blatantly obvious.
"Right, so it's a portal. Well James, this isn't even that weird for me anymore. Come on, James, who dares wins and all that junk," he says, pulling his buddy toward the hole.
"Well... uh... okay?" James mutters, not resisting one bit, and even walking toward the hole - standing side by side, they jump into the hole, and a nice little episode of darkness ensues. They fall. They continue falling.
Seven minutes later, they are still falling.
"Uh... I think hitting the ground is going to hurt..." James states at this point, but over the next three minutes this hypothesis of his does not get to be tested. Nor does this happen in the ten minutes that follow after that.
* * * * *
Not one to refuse the rag of enlightenment, Larry goes ahead and soaks the rag, then puts it up to his face and whiffs.
[Larry's body roll: 3-1]
His immediate reaction to the extremely powerful, ether-like (with a strong hint of pure capsaicin) liquid evaporating right into his lungs is a powerful coughing fit, the rag almost falling out of his hands. But there's no amount of coughing that'll get this particular thing out, unfortunately for him.
"You're new to thith - it'th an acquired tathte," the Oldthinker informs, looking oddly... deep. As if the previous image Larry had seen of him was a mere reflection in a mirror. There's a reality to him now, some unplaceable quality he seems to be able to perceive, as if Larry had looked behind some form of curtain to see the other side. "You want to take thlower breathth."
Arielle, for her part, looks absolutely radiant, even while she holds a rag in front of her face to snort the fumes it gives off, which is normally kind of a turn-off. In fact, she seems to have become closer in looks to her image in the mag, although with a notable change, that being two dim white lights Larry can vaguely perceive within her face, placed where her eyes should be. Phinny, who seems to have gotten eight whiffs in, emits a sound of marching, and looks heavier than ever, though her silhouette has a sharpness to it. The marching falls in tune perfectly with Beagle's buzzing, which has also taken on a rhythm. Larry can make out tiny whirlpools on the bee man's surface, as well as unidentifiable patterns.
* * * * *
After thanking his overseer, Dave walks in the direction he was just pointed in - it is a simple path, he finds, one rich in mold to chew on to keep himself nourished and grain alcohol to drink to keep himself both drunk and less thirsty than usual. It does not take him long at all to trudge along a red brick road and find his way to what looks like a village, all black mounds reinforced with chimney bricks, smoke pouring out of holes in the things. Standing a moment on the top of a hill and looking down upon the area, he becomes aware of the fact that the village is filled with small, flying underwear creatures flying this way and that, looking nervous and fidgety while they attend to their daily routines. The Garmentions, as he's dubbed them. However, none of them seem in any way familiar, which is something that makes sense, he guesses, since there's no real faces or anything like that to distinguish them by, and they're all of similar size.
* * * * *
Eta, in quite the dangerous mood, tries to bargain with Officer Rieux.
"If I'm going to answer that (or anything else that might pertain to the identity of my sources), then I'm going to have to ask a favour from you. If I share their name and you approach them and start asking questions, then it's very likely they won't trust me anymore and I lose an informant. If, however, you could offer a replacement, then I could be persuaded. So, what I'm asking is this: if anything comes out of the information I give you or if you hear anything related to this case, then I would like to be the first to know. Early enough to be the first reporter on the scene."
She pauses for a moment. Officer Rieux has stopped taking notes, and appears to be staring right at her.
"You give me your word you'll do that and I promise: anything I have discovered and anything I will discover, you will be the first to know."
Officer Rieux remains silent for but a few seconds more. She inhales deeply and exhales, and closes her eyes for a moment before speaking.
"Ma'am, you're currently the person with the possibly very important information, and I understand how you might be tempted to bargain with me, considering your profession and all. But I'm not sure you fully understand the gravity of the situation. From what you might see in the news or in the headlines, this all probably seems like some kind of surreal, quirky event that makes for a lot of interesting reporting. But beneath all that, there is one fact that you might be forgetting. People are dying because of all this. Twelve confirmed dead so far, to be exact, with around sixty people reported missing, according to the latest news. A whole neighborhood was nearly leveled not two hours ago. And we still don't know anything about what's really happening. So I guess what I'm asking here is, can we not bargain here? There are lives on the line, and the more me and my colleagues know, the more we can do to help," she explains, then sighs. "I've seen the movies, and I guess that you have, too, so what I'm really asking is, could you please not be that person? You know what person I'm talking about, right? Can we not pull teeth here and just get down to solving the most important problem? You know, do some good? Maybe save a life or two, shed some light on the crisis we're going through?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 29, 2014, 04:21:49 pm
Post by: Xantalos on July 29, 2014, 04:38:18 pm
Post by: Pancaek on July 29, 2014, 04:47:34 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 29, 2014, 05:55:10 pm
"Well, you can't blame me for trying. I would had told you anyway. I too, want to help. It's one of the reasons I'm doing this. I'm not insensitive to the pain these recent events have caused, nor have I been left untouched by them."
Yes, this is the right choice. I shouldn't feel bad for sharing that information. She said she dreamt of magic. Maybe she's somehow related to stopping this. And she's probably not a very good person, testing magic on others like that. Someone responsible wouldn't treat magic like this, wouldn't just hand it out.
Despite those excuses, Eta still felt bad, like she was betraying someone who trusted her. But she had a choice to make here and her instincts were telling her Rieux was way more trustworthy and responsible than the donut girl and her circle of accomplices. So she decided to listen to them. She sighed again and continued.
"She introduced herself to me as Joan, although I don't know if that's her true name. At the time, she was selling donoughts in a donought shop downtown. We got to talking due to some problems I had with the donoughts she was trying to make me eat and that's when she told me about those leylines. I don't know much else about her except for what she told me during that conversation, but I have her number. I could call her, maybe convince her to meet us later, if you would find that useful. Like I said, I want to help."
Eta waited for a few more seconds to give the officer time to decide wether she wanted to continue with her story or if she had more questions about Joan.
Post by: Toaster on July 29, 2014, 09:12:09 pm
"Shit's pretty real, yeah. I can... see more?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 30, 2014, 06:14:33 am
"So... these the guys?"
~I have no idea! So probably yes!~
With my size it'll take many drinks to get me drunk, so I'm not opposed to whoever this is coming over. It'll deter me from doing drunken sorcery.
"Indeed! Let's drink, drink, this town is so great!" Joanie half-sings.
"Drink, drink, 'cause it's never too late," the bartender sings along quietly.
"Or maybe try to keep yourself coherent before they show up? Just as a suggestion?" Nigel suggests frustratedly.
"Nonsense, let's get pissed right away! That way I'll have the patience to listen to her! Bartender, next drink, same as before!"
"Make it count - only got two more croissants left," the bartender says, fixing up another Dropped Croissant for her.
"Somehow, I don't think we'll ever actually hit the ground. This is rather comfortable though." John says, as he puts his hands behind his head "I'm not averse to just falling into the void forever. At least there's no demonic cows here. What do you say? Want to stay like this a while, or should we try to find a way out?"
"Uh... well... okay. I think we can wait, sure."
Eta keeps looking at the officer straight in the eyes with her best "I'm determined" look she could accomplish for a few seconds, hoping that she will give in and give her some sort of promise or anything, really. However, seeing that this is not going to happen, she looks down and sighs, her features softening.
"Well, you can't blame me for trying. I would had told you anyway. I too, want to help. It's one of the reasons I'm doing this. I'm not insensitive to the pain these recent events have caused, nor have I been left untouched by them."
Yes, this is the right choice. I shouldn't feel bad for sharing that information. She said she dreamt of magic. Maybe she's somehow related to stopping this. And she's probably not a very good person, testing magic on others like that. Someone responsible wouldn't treat magic like this, wouldn't just hand it out.
Despite those excuses, Eta still felt bad, like she was betraying someone who trusted her. But she had a choice to make here and her instincts were telling her Rieux was way more trustworthy and responsible than the donut girl and her circle of accomplices. So she decided to listen to them. She sighed again and continued.
"She introduced herself to me as Joan, although I don't know if that's her true name. At the time, she was selling doughnuts in a doughnut shop downtown. We got to talking due to some problems I had with the doughnuts she was trying to make me eat and that's when she told me about those leylines. I don't know much else about her except for what she told me during that conversation, but I have her number. I could call her, maybe convince her to meet us later, if you would find that useful. Like I said, I want to help."
Eta waited for a few more seconds to give the officer time to decide wether she wanted to continue with her story or if she had more questions about Joan.
Officer Rieux takes a few notes as you speak.
"Hm. Strange. Before we speak more, how about we walk your friend to the emergency room? We can speak more on the way," she says, pointing at the disoriented and quiet Lois, who seems to be blinking a little rapidly. "By the way, could you give me that number? It might come in handy later."
Larry cleared his throat and rubbed his eyes. This was strong shit; way more than the dope he had smoked. Hell, this made pot look like coffee.
"Shit's pretty real, yeah. I can... see more?"
"Yeah. And thath jutht from the firtht whiff. Wait until you get to ten."
"He's not kidding," Arielle says, putting down her rag. "I'm starting to feel disconnected already."
"Holy shit, I think I can see your soul over there, old man! Hahahah!" Phinny says, staring at the Oldthinker.
Post by: Pancaek on July 30, 2014, 06:21:50 am
"Really, James? We're falling to our doom and you're okay with this? I've noticed this about you, but you seem to be going along with anything I say. You need to say what you think, my good man, voice your inner feelings. Tell me, what do you really think of this situation?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 30, 2014, 06:28:55 am
John sighs
"Really, James? We're falling to our doom and you're okay with this? I've noticed this about you, but you seem to be going along with anything I say. You need to say what you think, my good man, voice your inner feelings. Tell me, what do you really think of this situation?"
"This is all... very confusing to me, I'm sorry to say," James says, rotating slowly as he falls. "None of it makes any sense. And when I start thinking about it... I don't know, my head starts to hurt. I know Mary is... somewhere. But I don't know... well, anything else. I need to find her, meet her..."
"Oh, James..." a distant voice says mournfully.
"Huh?"
"Why must we both suffer like this?"
Post by: Pancaek on July 30, 2014, 07:29:09 am
Post by: Toaster on July 30, 2014, 08:05:31 am
Take a few more hits!
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 30, 2014, 09:51:05 am
Help move Lois so she can get some help. Give Joan's number to Rieux.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 30, 2014, 10:51:33 am
"AHA!" John yells, throwing his arms. Not exactly up into the air, as he isn't sure which way is up at the moment. "Progress at last! Mary, is that you? How are you doing? Where are you? Poor James here has been looking all over for you, he was extremely distressed when I met him."
"He is lost. But I have found him now. Thank you."
"Mary? Are you... all right?"
"No worse than I usually am, yes..."
"Where are you?"
"Everywhere."
"Yes, certainly. Come on Lois, get up. Are you feeling OK?" Eta said as she helped Lois stand. "I think I have it in my purse here, somewhere. Just be careful. I think she might be dangerous."
Help move Lois so she can get some help. Give Joan's number to Rieux.
After giving Officer Rieux Joanie's number, you help Lois up.
"I'm... probably not okay," she says as you inquire about her well-being.
Together you head out of the precinct. Officer Rieux leads the way, asking you questions as you move along.
"So, while we are walking, could you recount your meeting with this donut girl? Joan? Why did she tell you about the leylines?"
Post by: Xantalos on July 30, 2014, 01:35:02 pm
DUNKER remains sober for the moment, idly looking around the bar and noting people's features while waiting for those friends of Joanie's to arrive.
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 30, 2014, 02:40:10 pm
"So, while we are walking, could you recount your meeting with this donut girl? Joan? Why did she tell you about the leylines?""Well, uh, she..."
Ah, what do I do?! Do I bend the truth to protect myself? Or should I be completely honest? What would be the best choice? What would be the right choice? Okay, okay, let's start with the easy stuff, stuff I know are harmless. I'll... cross that bridge when I get to it.
"I spent the last night in a hotel, since my apartment was hit by some kind of meteor, apparently. I got up in the morning to get some breakfast, so I tried the doughnut store.
I wanted to buy some croissants, but the girl who was running the store at the time, Joan, was really insistent on my buying some doughnuts. I thought that was fishy. She even offered me some for free. Then another man, a rather... rotund individual that was with her in the store ate a doughnut and started... well, he started coughing underwear. I started asking her about it and she told me she had put... magical drugs in the doughnuts as some sort of experiment. She sounded very happy with herself, so I indulged her, told her what she wanted to hear. It wasn't my first encounter with... magic, apparently, so it was less of a shock to me. She asked me where I had seen magic before and she seemed very interested in that, so I kept talking about it for a while, got her to open up and reveal some more."
Eta once again paused to see if the officer had any questions before continuing with her story.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 30, 2014, 02:56:35 pm
"Well, uh, she..."
Ah, what do I do?! Do I bend the truth to protect myself? Or should I be completely honest? What would be the best choice? What would be the right choice? Okay, okay, let's start with the easy stuff, stuff I know are harmless. I'll... cross that bridge when I get to it.
"I spent the last night in a hotel, since my apartment was hit by some kind of meteor, apparently. I got up in the morning to get some breakfast, so I tried the doughnut store.
I wanted to buy some croissants, but the girl who was running the store at the time, Joan, was really insistent on my buying some doughnuts. I thought that was fishy. She even offered me some for free. Then another man, a rather... rotund individual that was with her in the store ate a doughnut and started... well, he started coughing underwear. I started asking her about it and she told me she had put... magical drugs in the doughnuts as some sort of experiment. She sounded very happy with herself, so I indulged her, told her what she wanted to hear. It wasn't my first encounter with... magic, apparently, so it was less of a shock to me. She asked me where I had seen magic before and she seemed very interested in that, so I kept talking about it for a while, got her to open up and reveal some more."
Eta once again paused to see if the officer had any questions before continuing with her story.
"I see. What was your first encounter with this... magic, then?"
Post by: Toaster on July 30, 2014, 03:08:03 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 30, 2014, 03:36:45 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 30, 2014, 03:41:17 pm
"Well only one way to find out. Hey guys I'm Dave. Have we met."
"You look like yer in need of a burnin'!" one of the nearest creatures replies, and the rest seem to agree once their attention is drawn to the incendiary remark.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 30, 2014, 03:44:05 pm
Post by: Pancaek on July 30, 2014, 03:45:12 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 30, 2014, 04:50:06 pm
"I see. What was your first encounter with this... magic, then?""It was the night the meteor struck my apartment. I followed the trail of the 'meteor' to investigate. Because it seemed like the logical thing to do and it could lead to a good story. I was going to need some money to fix my apartment, after all. And I like the adventure.
Anyway, I reached the source, the alley behind Chez Ronardo's, and there was this man there, called himself Mr. Pilton, along with his... accomplice, I suppose. A half-naked man called..." Eta held her hand in front of her face like she was looking at an imaginary notepad and closed her eyes "Dave David...son? I think. After explaining that to me, he was very adamant about recruiting me for something I humoured him, told him I was going to call him soon so that I could keep him talking, gain more info out of him. During that time he also claimed that his accomplice was responsible for the disaster. Maybe he found recruiting me as a way to make amends. Or maybe he had..." Eta winced for a split second. "something else in mind.
I don't know. Anyway, to demonstrate, Dave created some kind of strange liquid out of thin air. Looked like vinegar. I left there soon after that. There and then on that alley was my first contact with magic in a way I began to understand some things about it."
Technically, Eta hadn't lied at all, but had managed to give a version of the truth that could be easily misinterpreted. To prevent further questions on the subject, she decided to try to change it back to something safer.
"That encounter turned out to be rather fortuitous, because the Mention of Mr. Pilton's name was what got her talking to me. Apparently Joan, Pilton and at least three more individuals are members of some sort of organization. And each of them is linked to one of those so-called Leylines. Joan described them as able to remove a piece of yourself and replace it with magic, whatever that means. That's why I thought it was important to investigate."
Eta noticed she was speaking about this whole magic deal a lot more openly. If she had said what she was saying during any other time, they would had locked her up immediately. Now though... Could it be...?
"You..." She swallowed. "You don't think I'm crazy, right?"
"You're...everywhere? What happened to you? And more importantly, how do we save you? I really need to reunite you and James here so I can go back to drinking myself to death over how horrible a person I am, you know. Busy busy. "((One who liked making terrible jokes could comment on how you got through the hole and ended up inside her.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 30, 2014, 05:37:42 pm
"I'm not sure how to respond to that. I guess the best response would be why?
"You look like one a them reformer types. Funny-lookin', too! We ain't got no patience for yer kind, let that be made clear!"
"You're...everywhere? What happened to you? And more importantly, how do we save you? I really need to reunite you and James here so I can go back to drinking myself to death over how horrible a person I am, you know. Busy busy. "
"Nothing happened to me. I am what I am, and I always will be. Can you take care of James for me? He is confused. He's been around me for too long, and I fear for his safety."
"What?"
"He's lost sight of himself. And also of me. It's all bleeding together, spiraling out of my control. And now here you are, within reach of my voice, and I ask you, can you keep James safe?"
"It was the night the meteor struck my apartment. I followed the trail of the 'meteor' to investigate. Because it seemed like the logical thing to do and it could lead to a good story. I was going to need some money to fix my apartment, after all. And I like the adventure.
Anyway, I reached the source, the alley behind Chez Ronardo's, and there was this man there, called himself Mr. Pilton, along with his... accomplice, I suppose. A half-naked man called..." Eta held her hand in front of her face like she was looking at an imaginary notepad and closed her eyes "Dave David...son? I think. After explaining that to me, he was very adamant about recruiting me for something I humoured him, told him I was going to call him soon so that I could keep him talking, gain more info out of him. During that time he also claimed that his accomplice was responsible for the disaster. Maybe he found recruiting me as a way to make amends. Or maybe he had..." Eta winced for a split second. "something else in mind.
I don't know. Anyway, to demonstrate, Dave created some kind of strange liquid out of thin air. Looked like vinegar. I left there soon after that. There and then on that alley was my first contact with magic in a way I began to understand some things about it."
Technically, Eta hadn't lied at all, but had managed to give a version of the truth that could be easily misinterpreted. To prevent further questions on the subject, she decided to try to change it back to something safer.
"That encounter turned out to be rather fortuitous, because the Mention of Mr. Pilton's name was what got her talking to me. Apparently Joan, Pilton and at least three more individuals are members of some sort of organization. And each of them is linked to one of those so-called Leylines. Joan described them as able to remove a piece of yourself and replace it with magic, whatever that means. That's why I thought it was important to investigate."
Eta noticed she was speaking about this whole magic deal a lot more openly. If she had said what she was saying during any other time, they would had locked her up immediately. Now though... Could it be...?
"You..." She swallowed. "You don't think I'm crazy, right?"
"You don't seem crazy. And I have no reason to doubt what you're telling me, do I?" she says, looking back at you earnestly. "There's no real alternative I have right now other than to believe you. At least it's some kind of lead."
A pause.
"Anyway, do you have any idea how this magic thing works? How did this Dave Davidson cause the meteor strike? And how does your concussed friend there figure into all this?"
Post by: Pancaek on July 30, 2014, 05:46:06 pm
"It's never easy with you magic people, is it? Every since I got this magazine, everything has gone downhill.
No, I don't think I'll be able to keep him safe. Only days before now, a kindly man asked me to get four kids who got into trouble to safety. I lost track of two of them. I got the other two hurt, than whisked away to an alternate dimension to be horrible tortured by ethereal cows. Then we got out, and they pretty much went on a suicide run to kill the kindly old man that put me up to it in the first place. And I was too much of a coward to even stop them..."
John rubs his eyes
"So, you see, I don't have the greatest track record of keeping people safe. Now, my turn to ask a question. What the hell are you anyway?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 30, 2014, 06:00:09 pm
John is quiet for a moment, then sighs.
"It's never easy with you magic people, is it? Every since I got this magazine, everything has gone downhill.
No, I don't think I'll be able to keep him safe. Only days before now, a kindly man asked me to get four kids who got into trouble to safety. I lost track of two of them. I got the other two hurt, than whisked away to an alternate dimension to be horrible tortured by ethereal cows. Then we got out, and they pretty much went on a suicide run to kill the kindly old man that put me up to it in the first place. And I was too much of a coward to even stop them..."
John rubs his eyes
"So, you see, I don't have the greatest track record of keeping people safe. Now, my turn to ask a question. What the hell are you anyway?"
"An outsider. And you must help James. He'll be lost without you once I expel him from here."
"Expel me?... Why?"
"You can't stay here, James. I'll just hurt you again by accident. And I don't want to keep you here, even if you agree to it. You've been here too long already."
Post by: Pancaek on July 30, 2014, 06:04:17 pm
John says, mustering all the sarcasm he can
"Is being vague and cryptic part of the job application? Do you fuckers ever give a straight answer? Where is here and why must I help James?! Because one moment I'm helping a man find his missing wife, and now this bullshit is happening! Again!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 30, 2014, 07:45:43 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 30, 2014, 08:25:29 pm
"You don't seem crazy. And I have no reason to doubt what you're telling me, do I?" she says, looking back at you earnestly. "There's no real alternative I have right now other than to believe you. At least it's some kind of lead."Eta didn't say anything, but she smiled. She was helping. That was something.
"Anyway, do you have any idea how this magic thing works? How did this Dave Davidson cause the meteor strike? And how does your concussed friend there figure into all this?""As far as I understand it, once magic is within you, you can just... use it. Focus on it and make it happen. Or maybe even make it happen on accident. I'm not sure. Pilton said that the meteor was some sort of accident. As for how they gain that power... I'm not sure, but based on what Joan told me and what I saw David do, then there are two kinds if magical sources.
The first is to be "granted" magic. Granted by whom or for what purpose, I do not know. Maybe it's aliens or secret government scientists or demons. I would believe anything right now. But I have a feeling there is some sort of plan or logic to this. There has to be. Even in something as unreasonable as magic. Because otherwise, if the world holds no logic or reason, the we are very likely to be facing an age of chaos and anarchy or maybe even extinction. And those are usually a downer.
But, like I said, there's probably no reason to be gloomy, due to the following evidence: Joan claimed she, Pilton and the rest of their group all simply 'dreamt' of magic and thus acquired it, but I find that hard to believe. If they simply dreamt it as they claim, then how did they come to work together? How did they know to look for leylines? How did they find or create those artefacts? Someone (or something) must be guiding them.
The second is some kind of artefact or ritual or combination thereof that can grant you access to more magic. That usually requires you to be granted magic by someone who already has it, though. Or to find a way to gain one of those artefacts.
And like I said, Lois was helping me. Because she's my friend." Eta looked at Lois. "I guess I haven't been such good friend for her lately. I should had been more careful." she added after a couple of seconds.
Hmm.... The cheese! The blessed cheese could help! She could ask it. But would it answer? After all, it said I should do what I thought was best, to fulfil my potential. Or something like that. It's really fuzzy. So maybe not asking for the full answer. Just asking for some guidance? Point me to the right way. Where I should start my investigation, which questions I should ask? Hmm... A thought for later. Right now, I should focus on helping Lois. And Rieux. She seems determined to help. Make things better. I should aid her in that noble effort. But I can't tell her about myself or Lois. Not until she either questions me into a corner, where I am forced to tell the truth so that I won't lie, or until I'm sure she won't have either of us locked in a lab so that they can run tests on us.
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 31, 2014, 05:48:49 am
"Oh but of coooourse. An outsider. And I must help James. Because he's been here too long."
John says, mustering all the sarcasm he can
"Is being vague and cryptic part of the job application? Do you fuckers ever give a straight answer? Where is here and why must I help James?! Because one moment I'm helping a man find his missing wife, and now this bullshit is happening! Again!"
"'Here' is within me. My realm. My corner of the universe that even I can't control. On the very edge of the mortal world. I'm stuck here, and so is James. So now I'm going to free him, and you. You should help James, because I don't know if anyone else will. He's so easily influenced."
"You can't just throw me out, Mary! I love you!"
"And I love you as well, James, but it's not meant to be."
"'Reformer types'?"
"High-and-mighty city people who're gonna enlighten us about what you reckon is the right way to be livin'! Makes me sick! Burn 'em all in the same pyre, that's what we ought to be doin'!"
"As far as I understand it, once magic is within you, you can just... use it. Focus on it and make it happen. Or maybe even make it happen on accident. I'm not sure. Pilton said that the meteor was some sort of accident. As for how they gain that power... I'm not sure, but based on what Joan told me and what I saw David do, then there are two kinds if magical sources.
The first is to be "granted" magic. Granted by whom or for what purpose, I do not know. Maybe it's aliens or secret government scientists or demons. I would believe anything right now. But I have a feeling there is some sort of plan or logic to this. There has to be. Even in something as unreasonable as magic. Because otherwise, if the world holds no logic or reason, the we are very likely to be facing an age of chaos and anarchy or maybe even extinction. And those are usually a downer.
But, like I said, there's probably no reason to be gloomy, due to the following evidence: Joan claimed she, Pilton and the rest of their group all simply 'dreamt' of magic and thus acquired it, but I find that hard to believe. If they simply dreamt it as they claim, then how did they come to work together? How did they know to look for leylines? How did they find or create those artefacts? Someone (or something) must be guiding them.
The second is some kind of artefact or ritual or combination thereof that can grant you access to more magic. That usually requires you to be granted magic by someone who already has it, though. Or to find a way to gain one of those artefacts.
And like I said, Lois was helping me. Because she's my friend." Eta looked at Lois. "I guess I haven't been such good friend for her lately. I should had been more careful." she added after a couple of seconds.
"I see. There's still a lot of questions unanswered, looks like. Hm. Would you be open to organizing a meeting with Joan and letting me come along? Not in uniform, of course, and after we get your friend some aid. As your friend, so to speak."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 31, 2014, 09:02:08 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 31, 2014, 09:31:20 am
"What? Those city guys were d***s! They tried to due my magic for their own gain so I killed them."
"Ah, so yer a criminal, then! Wouldja prefer ta be hanged or burned?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 31, 2014, 09:38:10 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 31, 2014, 10:54:16 am
"Hey they threatened me! It was self defense! Is leaving an option?"
"Are you a fast runner?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 31, 2014, 12:06:23 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 31, 2014, 12:09:43 pm
"Um. I guess. What is with everyone threatening to kill me? Except for the first guys I met everyone has threatened to kill me unless I did something. I've got some magic. Can I trade a magical service for my life?"
"Digging yourself deeper with witchcraft, I see! So this is how it's going to be!"
The villagers begin to fly after you.
Post by: Pancaek on July 31, 2014, 12:28:08 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on July 31, 2014, 01:12:40 pm
Point, Storm of Distracting Underwear, and flee.
Spoiler: dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 31, 2014, 01:49:52 pm
"I see. There's still a lot of questions unanswered, looks like. Hm. Would you be open to organizing a meeting with Joan and letting me come along? Not in uniform, of course, and after we get your friend some aid. As your friend, so to speak.""Yes, certainly. Last time I spoke to her, I mentioned a friend I was working with (Lois) but I did not call her by name. I could simply say you're the friend I was talking about. When do you want to set the meeting up?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on July 31, 2014, 02:24:15 pm
"Right, yes, fine. I'll make sure he doesn't forget to feed himself and that nobody makes him do ridiculous things. But you're still avoiding the question. We've already established that we are inside of you" John says, crossing his arms and looking stern. Not an easy feat when freefalling. "But you still haven't told me who or what you are."
"You can call me Mary, and I'm one of the outsiders. The people from *above*, *below* and *beyond*. People without shape or creed, without lasting principle and without ideals, we are worlds in and of ourselves. I possess great power, but no control. I tried to keep James with me for as long as I could, but I've only hurt him in the process, and made him into a shadow of himself."
"What are you saying?"
"You're stuck in a loop, James, and no other person except this man could have guided you out of it. And for this, I am thankful. But I will not give him anything, because my gifts harm more than they help almost always. Prepare yourself, you two. You are about to cross back into the world of the living. It will take a moment."
You feel a slight tingle.
"Yes, certainly. Last time I spoke to her, I mentioned a friend I was working with (Lois) but I did not call her by name. I could simply say you're the friend I was talking about. When do you want to set the meeting up?"
"Two hours from now could work, depending on the particular setting."
Post by: Pancaek on July 31, 2014, 02:31:01 pm
Get punted back into the world of the living. Start leaving the hospital. Make sure James is with me at all times
Post by: Parisbre56 on July 31, 2014, 04:52:48 pm
Call Joan, unless there are objections.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 02, 2014, 07:51:59 am
[Larry's body roll: 6-->4-1]
Fortunately, the water helps with that problem as Larry inhales once, then again, then five more times, his spine feeling a rising shock each time he huffs, becoming more wired with each moment. The burning, though still there, becomes increasingly distant from his mind, as if it's happening to something further and further away. When he finally takes the rag off his mouth, the room around has changed, drastically so. It's still the same room, of course, but it feels multitudinous now, like there's actually fifty-one of them and fifty-one of him, one in each iteration. And he's all fifty-one of himself somehow, seeing fifty-one iterations of fifty-one rooms with fifty-one of himself in each iteration. And not just him, either - there's innumerable Arielles, each with a different, flashing, twisting, laughing, beautiful face, with thousands of eyes looking at him kindly, each Arielle either talking to him, listening to him, in exactly one instance getting extremely intimate with him to rather pleasing results, or socializing with someone else entirely. Hundreds of Phinnies ranting at one another and engaging in lively debates with both Arielle and him in different combinations about war, equality, the meaning of magic and more, and pestering Beagle, who Larry can perceive every bee of as an individual person with its own dreams and aspirations, about the joys of a communal existence. And around all of this is the Oldthinker, splintered into hundreds of thousands of himself so tiny, Larry can hardly even perceive them - the... air? Well, probably not air, but it still has become thick with his presence, his being on a whole different level than his own, it seems.
Maybe he needs a few more hits, some instances of Larry think as his many brains light up with a constant stream of contradicting information very difficult to appropriately contextualize, given the fact that he is speaking, listening, maybe magicking, dancing, reveling and being otherwise distractingly entertained all at the same time.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER decides to take it a little slower than Joanie, adapting to the more Nigelesque policy of moderation, though taking it a little further and maintaining complete sobriety for the moment, eyeballing the other patrons of this fine establishment, noticing a great deal of variety among them. There's teenagers, of course, but he can also spot a few people in military uniform, a couple of older women chatting away among themselves, some people who are very obviously street thugs, even a couple of tired-looking businessmen, and finally a guy who seems to be standing out by a wall, sipping what looks like milk. Haggard, balding, with a look like he hasn't slept in days, spidery fingers and a slightly menacing profile. As their eyes meet, THE DUNKER gets the feeling he looks slightly familiar for some reason.
He is also slightly creeped out when the guy's eyes immediately light up strangely when he meets his stare, and he walks right up, placing an elbow on the bar, drinking the glass of milk. This man, THE DUNKER realizes, reminds him of prison. Uncomfortably so.
"I see you are a fellow adherent," he says, grinning. "How goes your quest, pilgrim?"
"Who're you?" Nigel asks, and the man gives him a sharp glare.
"Do not presume to partake of our conversation, fool. This is between fellow pilgrims," he says with great animosity to the custodian.
"You tell him, crazy guy!" Joanie laughs before being interrupted by another phone call.
"Well, fuck you too, then," Nigel says, turning away and getting back to his current drink.
"Let us walk over to the wall there," the man whispers at THE DUNKER, "away from unworthy ears. I have not seen any but profligates and apostates for the past day, and was becoming worried of my path."
* * * * *
Dave, shocked by the innate hostility of these people, tries the oldest trick in the book.
"Oh my god, what's that!?" he exclaims, pointing in a direction while summoning the power of distracting underwear storms, the first and least reliable of his spells.
[Dave's affinity roll: 6-->6-1]
And where he points, a supremely powerful, cataclysmic collision of distracting underwear immediately happens, explosive winds of garments filling the area and causing quite a commotion both in its extreme gaudiness and its incredible amount of energy.
"Argh! Demons! Damn your witchcraft!" the talky villager screams, and the village collectively begins to flee in the opposite direction from Dave, a decision that brings both of them to complete and utter safety within ten or so solid minutes of escaping.
* * * * *
John guesses he agrees to this thing, not that Mary's giving him an option.
"Great. Yeah. This isn't even the weirdest thing that has happened to me the last couple of days. See ya then, Mary. I'll try to keep James from getting into trouble and all that."
"Very good. I wish you more luck than I've had," Mary says, and a powerful peeling sound is suddenly audible as the void seems to retreat around the two.
"Wait, don't leave me!" James yells to the void.
"Happy trails, James."
And suddenly, the two men find themselves in the hospital, though it looks significantly different. It's lit, for one, and bustling with activity, no doubt due to the ongoing emergency efforts. A whole lot of nurses and doctors are at work, shuffling people to and fro, receiving patients, writing paperwork and generally keeping track of things, though seemingly not noticing the sudden materialization of two men in their midst. James currently looks quite crushed, and is silent.
* * * * *
Eta, walking down the street with Officer Rieux and Lois, agrees to call up Joan.
"Well, let's see if this can work then. No time like now to find out."
"Indeed. Hospital's not far now," the officer says as Eta fetches her phone from her purse.
It takes but a moment for Joan to reply. She sounds kind of funny, you think. A bit more drunk than a teenager should be at this hour.
"Hey! Who's this, now? I seem to be getting popular!" she says, the last as an aside to someone else, it seems.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 02, 2014, 08:59:33 am
Keep walking.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 02, 2014, 09:01:57 am
"Well voice in my head, that wasn't them. Why is everyone here so increasingly violent anyway? Also what's up with your direction sense?"
~Oh, but it is the correct direction, boy! And these are even the same people! A different village, perhaps, but the same people!~
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 02, 2014, 09:33:35 am
"I know. I was wondering why it was so good.""Well voice in my head, that wasn't them. Why is everyone here so increasingly violent anyway? Also what's up with your direction sense?"
~Oh, but it is the correct direction, boy! And these are even the same people! A different village, perhaps, but the same people!~
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 02, 2014, 09:39:29 am
"I know. I was wondering why it was so good."
~You're standing in magic, and magic's what I do! Would be shameful if I could not help you navigate it, no?~
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 02, 2014, 10:05:05 am
"Fair enough. What's up with spells anyway? Most of them are pretty useless and random.""I know. I was wondering why it was so good."
~You're standing in magic, and magic's what I do! Would be shameful if I could not help you navigate it, no?~
Post by: Pancaek on August 02, 2014, 03:19:53 pm
Take James and leave the hospital. If this goes without a hitch, go over to Chow's Chow and get us both a big bowl of Chow and James' pick of drink.
Post by: Xantalos on August 02, 2014, 05:01:38 pm
What quest do you talk of, friend? I may only be following it unconsciously.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 02, 2014, 05:35:07 pm
DUNKER shrugs and ambles over to the wall.
What quest do you talk of, friend? I may only be following it unconsciously.
Looking around to make sure nobody's listening in, the man speaks to you.
"The quest to take in the power of God, and strengthen yourself to prepare for the end that is coming. I sense you have a smidgen of power, very much like I do. I was hoping we could share in knowledge. Perhaps you have insights that have eluded me so far?"
Post by: Xantalos on August 02, 2014, 05:37:57 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 02, 2014, 05:52:26 pm
What insights have you gained, first of all?
"That the hand of God presents itself to us seemingly as four fingers, one at an abandoned factory, one at the school a few blocks away. Both of these, I have realized, are guarded by profligates, but I did manage to move unseen into the school to bask in the radiance of God, enabling me to know more of the Lord's mysteries. The profligates are well-armed with twisted gifts similar to God's own, and possess the power to create mouths to their very own hells, it seems - I have lost my most trustworthy followers to their foul magic and the terrible ways of demons that stalk the streets of this forsaken city. And exactly when I believe I am gaining valuable knowledge, I find a new mystery to bedazzle me - it is the grace of the Lord, I know, but some of the riddles I have encountered are becoming byzantine indeed, and focused prayer can only do so much, as I've found lately. Demons, as an important note, do not seem to mind holy symbols in any way, which is disturbing, though I do feel enthusiastic about the alternative of mooning, which seems to confuse them sufficiently for me to make an escape for the time being, though I suspect they may eventually get wise to my mortal tricks," the man explains, then takes a swig of milk. "What have you found?"
Post by: Xantalos on August 02, 2014, 05:57:19 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 02, 2014, 05:58:42 pm
Donuts give me magical powers via the amusement of a pink voice that uses me as a test subject for various things.
"Ah, so your connection to the Lord's gifts comes from food, then? A holy communion, so to speak?"
Post by: Toaster on August 02, 2014, 10:30:07 pm
At this point, Larry wasn't really sure which him was the real one. He hoped it was the Arielle one. "Man, I need some of this to take home. It's pretty intense."
Post by: Xantalos on August 03, 2014, 12:45:12 am
((I think this might be the preacher guy who gave Willy magic.))
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 03, 2014, 10:48:48 pm
After I get an answer
"Remember my friend, the one I told you about? Yeah, I told her about you and she thinks you're really cool. She's really interested in meeting you. Think we could meet in about a couple of hours?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 04, 2014, 03:27:29 am
"Fair enough. What's up with spells anyway? Most of them are pretty useless and random."
~It's all a matter of using them creatively!~
At this point, Larry wasn't really sure which him was the real one. He hoped it was the Arielle one. "Man, I need some of this to take home. It's pretty intense."
"All of you are the real you, actually," the Oldthinker's voice, multiplied a hundredfold, tells him. "Jutht in different thircumthtantheth."
"This batch is pretty amazing, man!" a few of the Arielles within earshot agree.
Only donuts, but yeah. What's your name?
"They used to call me Father Peter. But I have no flock now, so I suppose Hungry Pete will have to do. It's oddly appropriate, I find. So, what gifts of God do you currently possess?"
"Hi there! It's Eta. We met earlier in that doughnut shop? How's it going, everything OK?"
"Everything's perfect! I'm happy, everyone's happy, I'm having fun, Nigel's being his usual self... yeah, everything's as great as you can expect!"
"Remember my friend, the one I told you about? Yeah, I told her about you and she thinks you're really cool. She's really interested in meeting you. Think we could meet in about a couple of hours?"
"Really? Hell yeah we could meet! We could have a party! All the rest of my friends are already here. You know where the Malloy-McCoy is? It's this unpainted house on Jew Street, look out for the drunk teenagers out front! I'm here right now, come over whenever you like. And bring your friend!"
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 04, 2014, 05:12:09 am
"Got it. They're at some place called 'Malloy-McCoy's' in Jew Street. Although judging by what I heard, they might not stay sober (or conscious) for long. Ever heard of that place?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 04, 2014, 05:30:34 am
"Great! We'll be there. In a couple of hours or less. Leave some drinks for us, eh? Haha." Eta joked before hanging up.
"Got it. They're at some place called 'Malloy-McCoy's' in Jew Street. Although judging by what I heard, they might not stay sober (or conscious) for long. Ever heard of that place?"
"Not really. It's probably a new bar," she says, and you notice you're right at the hospital now. "Not that I'm an expert, of course. But Jew Street's not a long one. A hangout shouldn't be too hard to place. Also 'they'?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 04, 2014, 07:48:18 am
focus on reversing the clown head. Do not release yet.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 04, 2014, 08:13:21 am
"That doesn't change the fact that they're annoyingly random. I appear to need a very specific spell to get out of here which I have yet to find. Why so random?"
~It's more unpredictable that way!~
Post by: Toaster on August 04, 2014, 09:26:03 am
"Let's see what this stuff does with magic!"
Get out the binder and faceplant into it to study magic. Focus on the keyword "Angel."
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
((Added another line item in the stat sheet for various permanent bonuses. Not sure if how helpful that is to the GM, but it's there. Feel free to steal it, fellow players.
PS: DUNKER needs to be able to focus on donuts.))
Post by: Xantalos on August 04, 2014, 01:57:57 pm
...
Donut Vortex.))
Why do you ask?
Spoiler: Modified DUNK (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on August 04, 2014, 02:03:59 pm
DONUTS FOR THE DONUT GOD; SPRINKLES FOR HIS THRONE
Post by: Xantalos on August 04, 2014, 02:45:23 pm
After all, where donuts are concerned, the guy's an apex predator.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 04, 2014, 02:52:35 pm
Why do you ask?
"Because this knowledge can be helpful, as it informs you and me both of what can be discovered through looking into His eyes, and if one of us has a spell the other needs, we can call upon each other's resources. For instance, I can call upon bristly tits and also pie, create a stupefying shield of corn, and even inspire the messengers of the Lord. And create a sphere of extradimensional desks. What about you?"
Post by: Xantalos on August 04, 2014, 03:14:28 pm
Say, do you have access to a ... what was it called ... a leyline? If not, are you looking for one?
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 04, 2014, 03:22:41 pm
I can summon a paper wall, raise twin underwear monuments from the ground, which I can also influence to a degree, control alcohol, call to me an electric watermelon storm, emit garbage from myself, and make a pillar of rouge bats appear.
Say, do you have access to a ... what was it called ... a leyline? If not, are you looking for one?
"You mean the Fingers of God? I have touched one, in the former school. It was difficult, for I needed to evade the fool guard and many beasts within. I also know of another one, but it is guarded far better."
Post by: Xantalos on August 04, 2014, 03:36:31 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 04, 2014, 03:43:12 pm
Which one was that?
"A factory down on Import Avenue. But beware if you attempt to explore in that direction. Danger lies there."
Post by: Xantalos on August 04, 2014, 03:47:41 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 04, 2014, 03:53:35 pm
Oh. Well, why not join the wizard gang I'm in? We have access to a leyline, and I'm pretty sure we'd welcome more members.
"I have already partaken of their power, and their ways are incompatible with the narrow path. The guard especially is a vicious profligate, and his mistress is not much better. Beware of their foolish conduct, as it will spell their doom soon enough."
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 04, 2014, 05:08:53 pm
Post by: Xantalos on August 04, 2014, 08:26:53 pm
What exactly is a profligate?Oh. Well, why not join the wizard gang I'm in? We have access to a leyline, and I'm pretty sure we'd welcome more members.
"I have already partaken of their power, and their ways are incompatible with the narrow path. The guard especially is a vicious profligate, and his mistress is not much better. Beware of their foolish conduct, as it will spell their doom soon enough."
Also, what narrow path? You said your only tenets are to gather power.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 05, 2014, 05:25:32 am
"Her friends, apparently, are having some kind of gathering in that establishment. Some guy called Nigel and some others. Why? Would it be a problem?"
"No, actually. The more faces we get and assign names to, the better."
What exactly is a profligate?
Also, what narrow path? You said your only tenets are to gather power.
"A profligate is somebody wretched, abandoned and shamelessly vicious, like the two at the bar. It is also very wonderful to say. I dare say it is my favorite word. Sounds quite biblical, does it not?"
"As for the narrow path, it is a thing that I walk - it requires that I share my power with the deserving, shun profligates and demonic influences, and keep in mind that the end is nigh, and that soon we will all be judged."
Post by: Xantalos on August 05, 2014, 05:38:39 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 05, 2014, 05:40:03 am
Ah. Judged by who? God or what have you? Isn't he sleeping under the sea or in chains with venom dripping into his eyes for all eternity or nonexistent or eternally go-go dancing or something? It varies from myth to myth.
"I don't know! That's the interesting thing. I thought God at first, but now I am not so sure. Part of my quest is to find out!"
Post by: Xantalos on August 05, 2014, 05:55:41 am
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on August 05, 2014, 06:01:05 am
Ah. Judged by who? God or what have you? Isn't he sleeping under the sea or in chains with venom dripping into his eyes for all eternity or nonexistent or eternally go-go dancing or something? It varies from myth to myth.((Go-Go dancing is a true thing of history and myth, it's why the Romans were notoriously addicted to dance-dance revolution.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 05, 2014, 06:01:56 am
If part of your quest is to find out, how'd you recieve instruction that profligatery was a bad thing?
"It is called profligacy, and it is vile because it denies us our quest to use the gifts of the Lord - this filth groups around the Fingers, hoping to deny their power to others, obscure them, prevent pilgrims from reaching them, all the while grasping for every bit of power they can hope to catch. They are fools, and I need no instruction to know that I want nothing to do with their path."
Post by: Xantalos on August 05, 2014, 06:07:48 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 05, 2014, 06:33:20 am
Ah. Why not pretend to join one group and then subvert it from within or assassinate everyone in it after a while? I wouldn't even be that opposed to it, my only ambition is to consume more donuts and gain cool powers that will aid me in consuming said donuts.
"I am terrible at deception, unfortunately. It is why I have not done well at fitting in so far!"
Post by: lawastooshort on August 06, 2014, 07:12:47 am
Ah yes! Converting to Potatoism!
He strides manfully out of his apartment after talking whatever money he can find lying about, and heads to the nearest café, picking up a bag of potatoes on the way from any open shop. He orders a coffee, and sits down to look around him. Does anyone look approachable and likely to be interested in potatoes?
(before doing this, he chooses the spell Enchant Potato!)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 06, 2014, 01:10:04 pm
"Come now, James. I know just the place to go in this kind of situation."
James does not resist, and nobody sees fit to stop the two from going anywhere, so they move out from the hospital into the now-lively streets and head over to Chow's Chow, where John gets him a big bowl of chow, although James refuses to speak and doesn't order a drink. Or look at the chow, for that matter. He seems a bit more down than expected, even with the amazing chow right in front of him.
Hm. James' emotions may be a tad more complex than his, the still slightly drunk John thinks.
* * * * *
Dave, after a moment's consideration of where he needs to go next, begins to think of how to not completely flop his next introduction. He blames the clown, personally. Nobody wants to greet a clown with anything but pure suspicion under the best of times, least of all when they are inexplicably intertwined with the body of an otherwise normal human being. So he focuses on reversing this change.
Well, sort of. He doesn't actually focus, but rather decides to prepare to focus. He guesses it's similar to a portal spewing thylacines out of his buttocks in both basic pathology and general unsightliness, so he supposes he just need to collect his thoughts and command his body to return to the way it should be, right?
* * * * *
A multitude of Larries are almost on the verge of partaking of more of this holy water of the Oldthinker, but then think better of it. Instead, a sizable number of them produce their respective binders, and proceed to smash their faces into it, thinking happy thoughts of angels!
[Larry's mind roll: 1-->1+1+8]
Nothing happens, though, so the Larries think nothing of it and close their binders, and silently wonder why they cannot be the singular Larry who is currently getting some rather than the many that instead are trying to research magic at a time like this. Then again, their perceptions are entirely or at least partially shared, so they console themselves with the thought that they're indirectly experiencing all that the other, cooler Larries are. In a way, anyway.
* * * * *
As Eta and Officer Rieux speak, they make their way inside the hospital, which seems to be quite busy with the current emergency efforts. So busy, in fact, that handing Lois off to the emergency room is almost an automatically handled thing - nobody really asks any questions aside from her name, which Officer Rieux provides, and they just get down to business after that, delivering her to the appropriate location. After this, the officer turns to Eta.
"So, when are we going to meet this Joan? I can manage things in one and a half hour if I rush, but later can work as well if you want. I would prefer if we set a specific time, at any rate."
She looks at her watch.
"It's a quarter to three now, so how about we meet in four-thirty over on Jew Street? There's no landmarks to meet at there, so we'll probably have to use our best guesses where to meet or pick a nearby, more recognizable place. What do you think?"
* * * * *
As Halesey rises from his private time of potatoes and enchantment, he quickly looks around his apartment for money, quite stereotypically finding only a few dollars in the couch. Perhaps he needs to do something more profitable than mere heaven-trashing and chronic potato abuse with his time. Indeed, this may be the case. But as reasonable as this piece of advice may be, Halesey shall not follow it today, for he has people to convert! And so he takes to the streets, realizing that there's a perfectly wonderful cafe that's been on the first floor of his apartment building for very long now. It seems to just be called Cafe, or at least that's what the sign says, so he heads right in. Surely there shall be people worth speaking to in this place.
The interior of the cafe, Halesey notices, is quite cozy, though also rather humble. A nice, proper cafe this undoubtedly is. It also seems to be empty, a rather bored and dirty young man standing by the counter, staring at the nearby coffee machine, then switching to staring at donuts, then deciding to look over at the price listing, which is conspicuously bare.
Post by: Xantalos on August 06, 2014, 01:20:30 pm
Well then, this is the perfect opportunity to practice! C'mon, I'll introduce you.Ah. Why not pretend to join one group and then subvert it from within or assassinate everyone in it after a while? I wouldn't even be that opposed to it, my only ambition is to consume more donuts and gain cool powers that will aid me in consuming said donuts.
"I am terrible at deception, unfortunately. It is why I have not done well at fitting in so far!"
Drag whatever this guy's name is over to my magical acquaintances.
Joan, Nigel, meet ... this guy. Don't know his name. He knows magic too, apparently, and I thought we should join up! More power in numbers after all.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 06, 2014, 01:28:55 pm
Well then, this is the perfect opportunity to practice! C'mon, I'll introduce you.
Drag whatever this guy's name is over to my magical acquaintances.
Joan, Nigel, meet ... this guy. Don't know his name. He knows magic too, apparently, and I thought we should join up! More power in numbers after all.
"Indeed! Don't mind me, profl-profriends! Yes, quite. I'm Pete, and I know much magic, and I wish to join up with your fabulous enterprise for all the right reasons!" Hungry Pete agrees in a shrill tone.
"Didn't you tell me to fuck off moments ago?"
"Oh no, that was my other personality. Totally different now, I promise!"
"I like him, Nigey! A mixture of disdain and implied insanity! You'll be fantastic to drink with."
"Oh, I only drink milk."
Joanie becomes dead serious suddenly.
"Well then, son, you'd best mosey on along before there's any trouble, you hear?" she affects a bizarre half Southern, half New York accent.
"But-"
"Even Nigey here's drinkin', and ain't nobody who ain't drinkin' gonna sit at this counter. Under pain of death. That clear?"
Hungry Pete looks dejected, turning around and beginning to walk off while Joanie eyes him warily.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 06, 2014, 01:30:37 pm
Post by: Xantalos on August 06, 2014, 01:35:38 pm
The DUNKER scurries over to Pete's side.
Would you drink blessed alcohol?
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 06, 2014, 01:40:19 pm
.........
The DUNKER scurries over to Pete's side.
Would you drink blessed alcohol?
"Oh no. Never. Alcohol, no matter how blessed, would push me right off the wagon. And that would be most non-conducive to holy quests!"
Post by: Xantalos on August 06, 2014, 01:41:59 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 06, 2014, 01:43:49 pm
Hmm. What if I controlled your booze to make it nonalcoholic?
"The mere smell of it can drive me wild after all the time that's passed, I'm afraid. Practically homicidal with rage, even!"
Post by: Xantalos on August 06, 2014, 01:46:50 pm
Hhhhmmmmm. Hm. Hooom.
You stay here, I'm going to figure out why exactly Joanie didn't like the fact that you don't drink booze.
DUNKER scurries toward Joanie.
Why didn't you like the fact that Pete doesn't drink booze?
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 06, 2014, 01:52:57 pm
DUNKER scurries toward Joanie.
Why didn't you like the fact that Pete doesn't drink booze?
"Because I felt like not liking it, for one, and also because that means he'll be a total killjoy, and also because he won't drop his pants and start screaming all over the bar about whatever pink elephants he's seeing at some point if he doesn't drink. I mean, we can still make him do it or something, but then it won't be spontaneous anymore. I guess I only like crazies when they drink, in short!"
Post by: Xantalos on August 06, 2014, 01:55:12 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 06, 2014, 01:58:31 pm
Well, he drinks, it's just milk instead of booze. On account of the smell of booze sending him into a homocidal rage.
"I thought preachers didn't need booze to rage about how they want to enact homocide! Hahah! But still, not drinking means there's a baseline of crazy he'll hold on to, you catch my drift? No variability! No unpredictability! I can already tell how crazy he is, see. You can see it in his eyes! But I don't know how crazy he'll get with a pint of whiskey in him, and that's the only thing that matters, get it?"
Post by: Xantalos on August 06, 2014, 02:03:27 pm
If she begins to do said action, the DUNKER seeks cover. If not, then he's likely still talking to her.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 06, 2014, 02:13:42 pm
Well, why don't you go take a glass of booze to him and try to make him drink it? Then you'll see how crazy he may or may not be.
"Challenge accepted! Bartender, glass of fine moonshine, if you will!"
"I'm afraid not, miss. It would be irresponsible to tempt fate this way."
"What! I made a request!"
"Well, I'm not actually obligated to fulfill it. Especially if you are going to try and provoke homicidal rages in my already illegal bar."
"Eh, fair enough. I'm losing interest anyway."
Post by: Xantalos on August 06, 2014, 02:17:35 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 06, 2014, 02:25:15 pm
Anyhow, I'm gonna show him around the leyline, make sure he gets settled in and whatnot. Who was calling you?
"That lady from the donut store who was asking all the questions and being all responsible. Remember her? The one who was a wizard already?"
Post by: Xantalos on August 06, 2014, 02:28:05 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 06, 2014, 02:30:16 pm
Oh her. Was she coming here?
"Yeah! It'll be the awesomest party ever! Shauna, Raven, responsible lady, her friend, me, Nigel, you... maybe even Pete over there! Ninety percent of the people I can remember at the moment are going to be here!"
Post by: Xantalos on August 06, 2014, 02:36:01 pm
Survey the place for every exit I can find. Best be cautious, after all.
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 06, 2014, 06:33:52 pm
"Yeah, that sounds good. We should probably go there together. Safety in numbers and all. So it would be better if we met up nearby first. Make sure we're ready to go. Any place you'd prefer to meet?"
If she says she doesn't know anything nearby, then:
"Okay then whoever gets there first gives the other a call. Would this work?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 07, 2014, 04:21:25 am
Can we retroactively assume I left Lois some note in her bathrobe telling her not to worry and that I'll be back for her?
Yes, actually. I just didn't want to get you stuck in an interminable walk.
"Yeah, that sounds good. We should probably go there together. Safety in numbers and all. So it would be better if we met up nearby first. Make sure we're ready to go. Any place you'd prefer to meet?"
If she says she doesn't know anything nearby, then:
"Okay then whoever gets there first gives the other a call. Would this work?"
"There's actually a place a ways off Jew Street, this big abstract art thing, some kind of war memorial. It's pretty distinctive, so how about we meet there? Four-thirty, war memorial. Sounds good, right?"
Post by: Pancaek on August 07, 2014, 06:36:11 am
Post by: lawastooshort on August 07, 2014, 06:42:29 am
Approach the man at the counter.
((is he behind the counter or waiting for a coffee??))
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 07, 2014, 09:23:40 am
I really feel like I should tell her about me... but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm too afraid. Maybe if I have some more time to get my thoughts in order...
"You've got my number, right? If anything comes up, call me. Or I'll call you. Otherwise, I'll see you later. OK?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 07, 2014, 03:47:43 pm
"Come now James, Just let it all out." John says, mucnhing on his chow "You'll feel better if you air your emotions a bit."
"That may be true, but I don't really feel like it right now, to be honest," James says, his tone far more level than you remember it.
"So, uh... hey there," suavely starts Halesey, "Interested in potatoes? No? Well you might be soon. You want to see the power of the potato god?"
Approach the man at the counter.
((is he behind the counter or waiting for a coffee??))
The man, standing behind the counter idly at the moment, gives you a dull look.
"Hell yeah I want to see the power of the potato god. Real question is, do you have the balls to show me?" he asks in a monotone, one that makes a particular potato within you stir. And not in the way that dear sweet Linda does, either. More of a magical, potato-ish, businesslike way.
"Yeah, sounds good."
I really feel like I should tell her about me... but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm too afraid. Maybe if I have some more time to get my thoughts in order...
"You've got my number, right? If anything comes up, call me. Or I'll call you. Otherwise, I'll see you later. OK?"
"Indeed. I will be going, then. Need to get my business in order," Officer Rieux says, and walks off briskly.
Post by: Pancaek on August 07, 2014, 03:56:46 pm
Just, take your time, eh? I'll be here if you need anything at all."
Post by: lawastooshort on August 07, 2014, 04:49:56 pm
Potato Vortex the crap out of the entrance! Then, do it again!
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 08, 2014, 09:33:11 am
(Leyline/Gold and Money/Lois):1
Huh... Looks like it's Leyline again. Luck really wants to either get to that leyline or stay away from that hotel.))
Make my way back to that school. I shall investigate that leyline, even if I have to fight through those furry things to do it!
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 09, 2014, 04:49:13 pm
~Glad to see you're figuring this thing out! It's taking you people long enough! Speaking of, want some spells? I can fix you up with a nice fun test I thought of right now! You know, to celebrate your head that isn't a clown anymore? Though maybe it would have been fun to test with that as well!~
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, realizing that there's going to be up to 8 or more possibly drunk wizards within about five meters of one another within a very short period of time, does a quick check to register the area's exits and rank them in order of likelihood of him making his escape through them.
Firstly, there's the front door - that's a pretty good exit. He could very easily get through that. Then there's the back door. It looks locked. Then there's the basement, or what looks like the door to one. Also probably locked. In fact, the front door may be locked as well. Maybe the bartender deliberately locked them to keep all these people in here with him.
He ponders this for a rather long time, in fact, until the door opens up and two people enter - teenagers, from the looks of it. One's a tall, well-built, disheveled girl wearing a tracksuit, the other one's a shorter, prettier girl wearing a flowery dress. They seem very jumpy from the looks of it. They begin scanning the room, and upon spotting Joanie, stalk right up to her, almost running into the improvised counter and knocking it over.
"Joanie. Hey," the shorter girl says, a little out of breath. "We came as fast as we could. So, what do we do?"
"Things are fucked," the tall one says, more nervous than the other one, very much on edge, in fact.
"Oh, pshaw. You and your negativity! Have a drink first, then we'll talk," Joanie says, not even looking at the two.
"What?"
"Joanie's experimenting with extra booze today, and she wants people to share the fun," Nigel says, turning to the girl and raising his glass.
"A little booze helps the magic work better, after all," Joanie says. The two girls look at one another, and cautiously walk up to THE DUNKER, who seems to have taken up the position closest to Joanie and Nigel, the former having taken a corner seat.
"Uh, hey, big guy, sorry to bother you, but you mind moving two seats over? We, uh, need to talk with our friend here. Sorry," she says a little uncertainly, and the tall girl nods along, her eyes darting around.
"Hey, he's our friend, too, sort of," Nigel pitches in.
"Sort of? He's my best friend! We're blood siblings now, didn't you hear?" Joanie adds.
"Huh. Uh, well, sorry, man," the shorter girl says to THE DUNKER. "I, well, didn't know.'"
"Yeah, er... sorry," the taller girl concurs.
"Fat dude, meet Shauna, she's the short one, and Raven, she's the tall one. Shauna, Raven, meet fat dude. He's the fat one." Joanie says, gesturing at the respective people in an introductory manner. The two girls nod at THE DUNKER, then sit down at the two remaining spots at the bar and order a pint of light beer to share cautiously, which the bartender gladly provides.
* * * * *
John tries to reassure James with his own tales of dealing with tragedy.
"Yeah, I hear you. I could only think about drinking myself to an early grave after my two friends went away. Can't imagine what it must be like for you, losing your love like that. Just take your time, eh? I'll be here if you need anything at all."
James sits there silently for about five minutes, playing with a fork idly until he becomes sufficiently bored to finally stab it into some of the chow. And from there, he seems to have the thought that hey, as long as he's there, he might as well take a bite. In the next moment, John notices something wonderful - the same thing that happened to him when he first ate here, but somehow magnified - the taste of greasy sin seems to hit James in an intoxicating manner, seducing him to the way of the chow, provoking his interest. And so James begins to eat. Quite enthusiastically, too, finishing off his lukewarm bowl of chow in mere minutes.
"Well, that was good," he concludes after a few moments. "Can't really remember the last time I ate. Have I ever eaten? Hm."
* * * * *
Halesey knows that there's something about this man. He's got the stuff. But is it the right stuff?
"Something in you stirs my Holy Potato, man. Do I have the balls? I have potato shaped balls the size of space, dude. Check this out."
"Less talking, more god power," the man says, and Halesey takes up the standard potato stance as he evokes his vortex power at the entrance.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->5+1]
However, no vortex appears to soothe his impulses. Must be the negativity in the room!
"Do my eyes deceive me, or has that door not changed at all?" the dude wonders aloud, still in a monotone. "Surely this cannot be," he enunciates a little, causing Halesey's inner potato to stir further.
* * * * *
Eta, not able to resist the siren song of leylines, viscera and furry creatures that viscera, moves back over to the school, getting there after a reasonable walk, though she finds that little has changed, though the furry creature appears to have vacated the front yard, which is still coated in a solid layer of gore.
Now, she has several options. First, the front door, which smells like hell, and not the sanitized, dusty Sheol kind, either. Secondly, the pillars, which she's had a bad experience with. Or maybe, just maybe there's another door around the back. Just maybe, she thinks, and a quick look reveals that there indeed is one! Somebody seems to have detached the door from the hinges in a violent fashion, in fact, splintering the doorframe a bit in the process.
Post by: Xantalos on August 09, 2014, 05:28:08 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 09, 2014, 05:56:24 pm
Then cautiously enter through the back door. See if there's anything that looks like a leyline around here.
Now that I think about it... what do leylines look like?
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 09, 2014, 05:58:47 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 10, 2014, 03:01:34 am
How exactly are things fucked, Shauna and Raven? I'm the DUNKER, by the by.
"Well, part of the Lower Esplanade's just plain gone," Shauna explains.
"And, well..."
"Yeah, um... Mr. Lee's dead. I think. Along with Mrs. Lee."
"No shit? Hah! Go figure, eh? Seemed like a stand-up guy to me, you know? Though I wish I could say the same for the missus, hah!"
Nigel gives Joanie an odd look.
"But yeah, let's drink! Bartender, another Dropped Croissant!" she says, and the bartender provides one immediately.
"Whatcha got in mind?"
~Well, the matches were mostly a formality. A sort of cool gimmick, if you will. Now that we've broken the ice, I can just throw new magical experiences at you with reckless abandon! After all, I am rather easily bored and eager for some science to do!~
Post by: Xantalos on August 10, 2014, 03:13:29 am
Post by: lawastooshort on August 10, 2014, 03:31:32 am
Cast Potato Vortex on the sceptic!
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 10, 2014, 03:36:49 am
Who are those?
"Uh, well, he's a pawn shop owner along with his wife. And they're both wizards."
"Mrs. Lee was one of the originals back in the days!"
"I don't think you're allowed to call two weeks ago 'back in the days'."
"Oh, shut the fuck up, Nigey."
"They went all control-freaky on us after Joanie gave us magic."
"Uh, for our own good, sort of."
"Ostensibly, mind you!"
"And now he's prolly dead."
Post by: Xantalos on August 10, 2014, 03:37:46 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 10, 2014, 03:44:17 am
Why is he dead?
"Well, his neighborhood got invaded by an army of what looked like exploding beavers or something. I think. His shop's leveled. A bunch of other people died for sure. He and his wife are missing," Shauna says, sipping her drink, then passing it to her friend.
"Though there are, like, remains or something, remember?" Raven says, then drinks half the pint in one go, and doesn't pass it back.
"I mean, it's too early to tell for sure, but I think he would've shown up already if he didn't get killed or, you know, fucked up some other way. So the point remains."
Post by: Xantalos on August 10, 2014, 03:45:46 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 10, 2014, 03:58:32 am
Sounds like a group of hostile magicians. Wanna rustle up a posse and fuck 'em up?
"Aw yeah! Frontier justice, let's go!"
"You don't even know who did it."
"That's what detective work's for! I say we wait up until the responsible lady and her friend show up, and then we'll have a posse to be reckoned with! The magnificent seven, you know? Or eight, if we took Pete along."
She turns to Pete and shouts.
"Hey Pete! Wanna go out and fuck up some lawbreakers?"
Pete looks confused.
"I think he's up for it. So, the plan is, we stay here and drink a while, and share our best stories of Mr. and Mrs. Lee so that we get mad as hell that they're dead or something. And then, soon as night falls, we hunt for perpetrators!"
"That sounds like a terrible idea, Joanie."
"Yeah, like, the worst."
"Well, then, how about we stay here and drink a while, and you try and come up with a better plan. And then we get mad as hell that there isn't one and go hunt for perpetrators?"
"Oh god. This is going to suck."
Post by: Xantalos on August 10, 2014, 04:08:24 am
DUNKER ambles over to Pete.
Hey Father Pete, would you like to accompany us? We're going to investigate the residence of an innocent merchant known to them who was likely attacked by hostile mages who hate God. Only they would resort to exploding beavers. Anyhow, we're heading out in a bit, hopefully avenge some faithful, smite some heretics. You in?
((Oh dear, I think the DUNKER's turning into another cheerful sociopath.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 10, 2014, 04:13:51 am
Hey Father Pete, would you like to accompany us? We're going to investigate the residence of an innocent merchant known to them who was likely attacked by hostile mages who hate God. Only they would resort to exploding beavers. Anyhow, we're heading out in a bit, hopefully avenge some faithful, smite some heretics. You in?
((Oh dear, I think the DUNKER's turning into another cheerful sociopath.))
"Well, um... I suppose finding profligates and demonstrating them the error of their ways is something I wouldn't be particularly against. I did not really have any other plans for tonight, either. So I suppose I could indeed go along, if you think I should."
Post by: Xantalos on August 10, 2014, 04:18:50 am
Hey guys, Pete's in!
After ambling back over, he begins talking again.
So, Shauna, Raven, what did Mr and Mrs Lee do with their magic? Anything in particular? Who were they in contact with? All that stuff. That you know of, that is.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 10, 2014, 10:14:56 am
Spoiler: dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 10, 2014, 10:30:29 am
So, Shauna, Raven, what did Mr and Mrs Lee do with their magic? Anything in particular? Who were they in contact with? All that stuff. That you know of, that is.
"I haven't got a clue what magic they even had, to be honest. As for who they know... also not much of a clue. There were these three wizards they sent to pick us up after me, Raven, Trey and Luz ran off to do magic stuff."
"That was the crappiest idea we ever had."
"Yeah, there was a reasonable guy named John, some goofball by the name of Samuel and this woman who didn't talk much. But John's a nice guy, and probably doesn't know much about this. If he's still alive, of course."
"Sure let's do it man! I should probably get some matches anyway though. Just in case I want an apprentice. Hey were you the guy who gave those underwear guys spells or is it different for everyone?"
~Different for everyone, I think!~
Post by: Pancaek on August 10, 2014, 12:50:34 pm
-beat-
"You are human, aren't you, James?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 10, 2014, 01:01:20 pm
"Of course you've eaten, you're already a grown man. Can't live this long without eating. Unless you aren't human, of course."
-beat-
"You are human, aren't you, James?"
"If I wasn't, how would I know?"
Post by: Pancaek on August 10, 2014, 03:25:49 pm
"Good point. So, what do you want to do now? Anything in particular you want to do?""Of course you've eaten, you're already a grown man. Can't live this long without eating. Unless you aren't human, of course."
-beat-
"You are human, aren't you, James?"
"If I wasn't, how would I know?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 10, 2014, 03:27:24 pm
"Good point. So, what do you want to do now? Anything in particular you want to do?"
"Not really. I just feel kind of... tired. Mentally, mostly."
Post by: Xantalos on August 10, 2014, 04:21:46 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 11, 2014, 03:35:54 pm
[Eta's mind roll: 6-->4+1]
The world disappears in darkness, and she is once again in one of the entrapment rooms - this she knows fairly well by now. At least this time there's a floor to stand on, and at least some kind of gravity. She takes a step forward, and is rather disappointed to find out that the floor is spinning rapidly, a fact she only notices as she steps out of the center of rotation. Further examination reveals that there is a circle of other segments of floor around this one, except they're spinning in what seems like the opposite direction (so it really feels like the same direction). Realizing this to be a useful thing to remember, Eta steps on the next circle, then locates the next one with the same method, and thus quickly moves through all nine circles, each of which seems to increase in size significantly, until she finally finds herself on a non-spinning bit of floor - the sudden lack of movement is enough to disorient her quite a bit, though she moves on forward until she reaches a wall, which she walks along until she reaches what feels like a light switch. Another one of the blindness rooms, it seems. So she flicks it and bathes her mind in the light that follows, magical knowledge flooding her brain at a rapid, though pleasant pace.
Spoiler: Eta's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
And with that, she heads deeper inside the school, its confines feeling rather hauntingly quiet aside from very distant shuffling sounds. She explores the first floor rather thoroughly, though it takes her a while to come to the giant hole in the roof - it seems the most disturbing room she's seen so far, as it seems to have actual half-eaten corpses of people lying about in it, and three unfriendly-looking hairy people presumably responsible for this state of half-eatenness.
* * * * *
Halesey tries to show the skeptical man the error of his ways in the very best possible way - through the power of vortexes!
"Don't constipotato me, dude, the power of the potato god is undeniable!"
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->4+1]
And behold, a giant hole in the man's chest appears, filled with potatoes and sucking the current objects on the counter right into it! The man looks at it and blinks for a moment.
[Man's body roll: 5-1]
"Got anything cooler, maybe?" he asks, still unimpressed, putting his hand inside it, then pulling it out. "It's a hole. Kind of hard to be excited about a hole of all things. If you're so gifted by the potato god, have you got any nicer miracles? This one's just eating up all the muffins and not being much good. Does it at least lead anywhere?" he continues, grabbing a few coffee cups and shoving them within, watching them spiral into the nether dimensions impassively.
* * * * *
Dave's always up for some magic, and ponders why the voice even asked. And immediately as he agrees, he is thrown into the wild world of magical research!
[Dave's mind roll: 6-->3+2]
He is immediately thrown into a giant hallway. The test before him is simplistic. On one side of the hallway, ultimate magical knowledge. On the other, a lifetime supply of carrots. Dave looks at one, then at the other, then at his pig-leg.
His leg has to spend a few moments to convince him that with ultimate magical knowledge he could probably have potentially infinite carrots, which is like a lifetime supply one can carry around every day, and Dave cautiously believes the pig-leg's word on this. They immediately make for the magic, and nearly grab onto its unspeakable radiance as they sprint forth to reach it, only for the knowledge to be snatched away before he can rightly grab it, leaving him with but a sizable handful of scraps, which his oversized mind greedily absorbs.
Spoiler: Dave's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
"Hmm. What happened when they were sent after you? And why'd you run away?" THE DUNKER asks of the two girls.
"Well, John and his crew found us, knocked on our window, we had a chat, and he made a pretty convincing argument why we should go home already, so me and Raven did without all that much of a fuss."
"Trey and Luz prolly didn't go along so easily, though," Raven chips in.
"Yeah, pretty sure they didn't, considering they didn't seem to be home yet this morning as far as I know. They were the people who actually put us up to it - they got in some kind of shit with Luz's dad, and so they ran off. And the two of us are sort of Luz's friends, so when she went all like 'hey, let's be magical outlaws and do whatever', we went all 'sure'."
"Well, she did, anyway. I felt real queasy about the whole thing, but went along anyway. I mostly spent my time trying to convince Shauna to go home already."
"But you're shit at magic, so it makes sense you'd be that way, and I didn't really listen."
Raven just smiles and nods.
Post by: Xantalos on August 11, 2014, 03:47:33 pm
Mentally mark down Trey and Luz on suspect list. Eat a donut, focusing on vortex effects.
Also ask pink voice what it is and if it has an identifying label that I can refer to it with.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 11, 2014, 04:02:14 pm
Eat a donut, focusing on vortex effects.
A quick search has failed to turn up evidence that you've actually discovered a vortex spell so far. That's a limitation of the system that I may have failed to mention, in that you're not exactly allowed to metagame in it research-wise. I may be mistaken about the problem, though.
Also ask pink voice what it is and if it has an identifying label that I can refer to it with.
~Nope. Not gonna answer that. That's no fun.~
Post by: Xantalos on August 11, 2014, 04:07:51 pm
exploit one failed as predicted. Moving on to section 2
In that case, just eat a donut and savor the adventure!
Post by: lawastooshort on August 11, 2014, 04:26:42 pm
Halesey restrained himself very hard from using the g word, which he hadn't for years, and hadn't wanted to for months.
"If it's such a puny hole, jump the feck in, unbeliever."
Post by: Xantalos on August 11, 2014, 04:28:34 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on August 11, 2014, 04:32:16 pm
((The g word?))
((oh yes))
Post by: Xantalos on August 11, 2014, 04:34:17 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 11, 2014, 05:47:43 pm
"Well these have to be better than hogweed and apocalyptic salad dressing. What are you anyway?"
Invasion of the Undulating Porcelain Gremlin Kings and Thought of Hookers.
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Jamahawk on August 11, 2014, 06:03:08 pm
2) My name is Joel Cooper.
3) I identify myself with the color brown.
4) I have a very stern face, always. I wear a black fedora, white undershirt, white dress shirt, black dress coat, black tie, black dress pants, and a pair of gleaming dress shoes. I won't talk about the underpants. I am well muscled, and have a bit of facial hair. My hair is black and cropped short.
5) I enjoy professionalism, order, and living. Living over everything else.
6) I hate jokes, overly proud people, and superiority complexes.
7) I would most resemble Belgarion when he first got introduced to the whole magic thing.
Body 3
Finesse 2
Affinity 1
I am getting into this a little late. Am I not? This looked to fun, and I couldn't resist!
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on August 11, 2014, 06:07:09 pm
"Damn, there's a guard in the way, THOUGHT OF HOOKER!"
"Oh, I have been distracted by thoughts of a singular hooker!"))
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 11, 2014, 07:17:30 pm
Also, very fun spells, like always. The fact that they appear to be getting even more chaotic and destructive does not bode well for the sanity of this place.))
Quick question, have they noticed me?
Spell choice later when I have some time to think about it.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 11, 2014, 07:41:32 pm
((Wouldn't thought of hooker just mean you start thinking about a single hooker? Or would it allow you to cast it on other people because in that case it would be a great distraction technique.((I'm hoping for the second one.))
"Damn, there's a guard in the way, THOUGHT OF HOOKER!"
"Oh, I have been distracted by thoughts of a singular hooker!"))
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 12, 2014, 05:28:12 am
"Of course it leads somewhere, you eejit, it's a fecking vortex."
Halesey restrained himself very hard from using the g word, which he hadn't for years, and hadn't wanted to for months.
"If it's such a puny hole, jump the feck in, unbeliever."
"I can't, dumbass. The thing's on my chest, and also pretty small, all things considered. Make a bigger one somewhere I can actually jump to without ripping myself in half or something."
((New spell types?))
I periodically revise the spell tables, and this turn brought you some of the newer types! For some reason, the RNG seemed to love pillars previously.
Also, you can do things on the same turn as you choose the spells, it's assumed you do it as soon as you get the choice, then move on.
"Well these have to be better than hogweed and apocalyptic salad dressing. What are you anyway?"
~Let's see... what analogy would work.. you know Nyarlahotep? Basically that, to familiarize you with the concept. But less generally awful.~
Quick question, have they noticed me?
They're far too busy munching on the dead to see you, although they are eating that one guy rather quickly.
Post by: lawastooshort on August 12, 2014, 05:57:46 am
”Jesus Christ, you fecking gobshite! Just behold the fecking potato! Can you summon fecking vortexes? Call me a fecking dumbass again and I’ll show you a fecking chest-vortex a fecking whale could fecking jump into!”
Pray to Potato God with some rhythmic mumbled chanting and, once successfully mentally prepared, cast Potato Vortex on the front door repeatedly until a vortex at least as big as a double decker bus is blocking it. Invite the heathen to jump the feck in.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 12, 2014, 06:33:35 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 12, 2014, 06:39:32 am
I choose Electric Sponge Form and Pit of Blue Skeletons!
The first mostly because DF logic dictates I will become an immobile yet invulnerable killing machine made of electricity (and you better pray I don't become enraged!) and the second because I'm curious how it works. And not taking the rest because I like the rest of my spells. Alas, I'll have to give up the ability to smuggle canned goods and the ability to cause a fly-related ecological disaster.
So, let's test that new spell. Hope the school doesn't collapse. But I can't let those things wander around. They're obviously dangerous carnivores. It would be irresponsible to just sneak past them.
Cast Pit of Blue Skeletons on the hairy things! Try to get all of them in the pit!
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on August 12, 2014, 07:44:26 am
Larry was taken aback by how tricky it was to concentrate. Clearly he just had to get more of the Larries to listen.
"HEY all you Larries out there! Focus on the task! Yes, even you getting lucky there!"
Yell at the others to focus. Hit that magic again. Focus on Angels again.
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on August 12, 2014, 08:15:23 am
Go home, invite James to stay over at my place if he wants to. Before going to bed, read the magazine again.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 13, 2014, 08:56:31 am
[THE DUNKER's mind roll: 6-->6+1]
In the great dusty nebular formations devoid of light and human virtue beyond all the known stars live the Gremlins of Hoag, creatures that would be mythical, were they not immensely obscure as well. Floating in space, they group around whatever larger objects they can find, seeking things to feed on, live on and learn from, then deconstruct for further study and their own amusement. One such object is you, the Mouth. Blooming in darkness, your open maw asks for sacrifice, and the Gremlins of Hoag comply, throwing things they would not miss at you to see how you react - you roar, and the Gremlins of Hoag seem to take a message from this, bringing you things that matter now, objects that in their minds they have declared valuable, things they have built and invested effort into. You roar once more. They then bring you sacred things in the hope that you will gift them with your love, for this is what they have wished for the entire time, and when that fails to satisfy your cackling, plaintive maw, some begin to throw themselves in. They believe various things - that they will become part of you, that they will transcend their bodies, that you represent a gate into another world or that they, even for a moment, will make you a little bit happier.
All of these thoughts, you could tell them if your speech was understandable to anything even remotely close to their level of intelligence, are wrong. What enters your maw becomes nothing. It ceases to exist, and gives you no pleasure at all. You are unsure if pleasure is something that even means anything to you at this point. All you know is repose, though the actions of the Gremlins of Hoag intrigue you a tad. Issuing a massive spacetime creak, you move for the first time in millions of years, and from the Place Above and Below you stir, your mouth moving forth as the rest of your emerges into this world, its sheer size pulling in dust and deluded little gremlins, your pitch-black mass and nigh-infinite form filling all avenues of perception for billions of miles around. As the nebula disappears within you, becoming nothing along with the Gremlins of Hoag, as was inevitable, you ponder the universe. Where will you go next, and will they think of you the same way as the Gremlins of Hoag, whose true name you have erased along with any who knew it?
Moreover, does it matter to your eternal mind at all? This is the question you pose to yourself before infinity recedes, and you find yourself in the bar once more.
Spoiler: THE DUNKER's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Halesey, it need not be said, is beginning to lose his patience.
"Jesus Christ, you fecking gobshite! Just behold the fecking potato! Can you summon fecking vortexes? Call me a fecking dumbass again and I’ll show you a fecking chest-vortex a fecking whale could fecking jump into!" he snaps, then lapses into fervent prayer. Prayer that doesn't really do him any good. He guesses the presence of gobshites like this guy takes away a bit of the magic, to say the least. No matter! Proceed he shall anyway, and nothing will stop him!
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->2+1]
And a vortex filled with just as much rage as Halesey himself, and slightly bigger than him as well, blocks the entrance immediately. The man at the counter nods appreciatively, then slides his ass over the counter, jumping off next to Halesey.
"Well, it's still just a hole, but I guess I'll take what I can get," he says without a trace of nervousness or emotion. He then sprints wildly into the vortex, leaping forward without a second thought, flying into its tubery grasp in a carefree, though still ambivalent manner. And immediately as he disappears, a different, homogenously pinkish and powdery figure with thick, dark hairs growing dispersely from its surface leaps out from the vortex.
"Fuck yeah! Who's the king! I'm the king!" the figure yells, sounding oddly familiar for some reason, then turns to face Halesey. "You!" he continues in a dramatic fashion, pointing at the potato acolyte.
* * * * *
Dave, his curiosity piqued by the sound of an Invasion of the Undulating Porcelain Gremlin Kings, tries to use his mind to find out more about the strange spell, poking it with his mental apparatus inquisitively. Getting a feel for the spell, he realizes that it seems to be sort of a gate spell - somewhat random, frequent, powerful. And behind lie the minds of the Undulating Porcelain Gremlin Kings, reaching out to his.
They seem to wish for many things. Subjugation of mortals and machines alike. Deconstruction of the complex. Learning of the structures of things, and getting inside the workings of complex things. And also obtaining some porcelain, but they're willing to compromise on that, it seems.
* * * * *
Eta, having just obtained a fresh spell that would be perfect for this exact circumstance, calls upon the pit of blue skeletons to surprise the unfriendly carrion eaters and prevent them from defiling any other mortal remains.
[Eta's affinity roll: 1-->2]
And the pit does indeed appear, suddenly beginning to expand beneath her own feet!
[Eta's body roll: 3-1]
It does so far too quickly for her to escape it, in fact, and she plummets right into it, a loud crunch being emitted as she lands on the blue, crawling mass of human skeletons at the bottom - they seem remarkably animate, she notices with no small degree of disturbance. And the pit is fairly deep, too.
* * * * *
Larry knows that this lack of focus can really only be ascribed to one thing - lack of focus. There simply is no other reasonable explanation. So he addresses... well, himself in many iterations.
"HEY all you Larries out there! Focus on the task! Yes, even you getting lucky there!"
They don't exactly listen, being in different iterations of reality, but it does seem to occur to them that focusing on magic might be a useful thing to do right now, and more Larries pull out their binders and take long looks at them in the hopes of some fine angel magic.
[Larry's mind roll: 4+1+8]
And his many minds finally react, moving through many avenues of magical knowledge all at once, stimulated by each other's experiences and moved to achieve greater heights of information gathering than previously thought possible. A wealth of possibilities opens up to him in a universe of many colors, and the magical secrets flooding through his many minds meld together in a single sphere of enlightenment, the refined, angelic glory of which each and every Larry gets to partake in.
Spoiler: The Larries' Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
As the Larries return to reality, the presence of the Oldthinker becomes more palpable.
"Oh, I thee. Outthider phenomena. Giveth me an idea. Thay, Larry, you know any outthiderth?" his voice asks in many of the iterations.
* * * * *
John, recognizing the fact that it is getting pretty late right now, heads on home with James, who seems to have no problem with staying at his place. The walk back through the neighborhood is uneventful, though John does observe quite a lot of police lines on the way to the central parts of the Lower Esplanade - fortunately, his building doesn't seem to be included in the cordon, and so he heads on there, up the stairs with James, unlocks the door and walks right in.
And right there, right in the middle of his couch, currently watching TV nervously, yeah, right there's the cowman. Mancow. Whatever. He-she-it is there, and as soon as John and James notice it, its head swivels back to take a look at the two in return.
"Moo!" it says. "Or, rather, hey! Hi, John! Hi, other guy! What's up? How's it going?"
Post by: lawastooshort on August 13, 2014, 09:07:26 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 13, 2014, 09:20:05 am
”Yes? Bit hairier than you were, eh?”
"And a bit pinker. But that doesn't matter much. So, now that that's out of the way, I guess I'll be goin', then."
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 13, 2014, 09:27:40 am
"Ah! Eeeh... Excuse me! Please don't kill me? I just want to get out of here! Please?"
Run away! Get out of here! If the skeletons hurt me, cast Pitiful Underwear Vortex under them.
Post by: Toaster on August 13, 2014, 09:28:03 am
Post by: Pancaek on August 13, 2014, 09:47:53 am
Post by: lawastooshort on August 13, 2014, 10:05:02 am
Post by: Xantalos on August 13, 2014, 12:41:29 pm
Take House of Self-Replicating Dentures, Coffee Mug Blast, and Emit Scandalous Dentists!
Then wait for a few minutes for the others that were said to be coming. If they don't, then posit that maybe they aren't coming and we should go without them.
Spoiler: DUNKER (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on August 13, 2014, 12:51:22 pm
Spoiler: Spell changes (click to show/hide)
Larry reeled as the angelic spell knowledge flooded his brain. He grabbed what he could out of the tide of knowledge before he got snapped back to reality. He blinked a couple time at the Oldthinker. Did he know any? What's an outsider again?
"Uhhh... maybe? Cal saved me from a hairy mafia bean, does that count? Some guy made of birds gave me a soul coin. The magic binder's got a voice too?"
((I think that's all Larry has met, minus the clown demon which he isn't mentioning on purpose. Not sure if any of those count.))
Post by: lawastooshort on August 13, 2014, 01:11:02 pm
Post by: Toaster on August 13, 2014, 01:21:18 pm
Plus, salsa angels.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 13, 2014, 01:34:06 pm
Aaaahhh! That wasn't supposed to happen! Skeletons shouldn't move like that! Skeletons shouldn't move at all!
"Ah! Eeeh... Excuse me! Please don't kill me? I just want to get out of here! Please?"
Run away! Get out of here! If the skeletons hurt me, cast Pitiful Underwear Vortex under them.
[Your body roll: 2-1]
The walls of the pit are very smooth - you're not sure how you'd get up them, to be honest. Fortunately, the skeletons don't seem very hostile to you. Mostly they're just confused, it seems like. And quite blue. And despite this seeming like a good idea at first, you realize that any vortex you would conjure underneath the skeletons, if you know how vortexes work, and you believe you do, would also by necessity affect you, since you are atop the skeletons.
"James, I need you to go outside. If you hear any sound that seems like I'm in trouble, I want you to run and get those police officers, tell them there's a murderer in here or something." John says as he puts his hand on his snub nosed revolver in his pocket and turns back to the cow "You. What the fuck are you doing in my house. It hasn't even been a week, what the hell could I have done to earn you coming to torment me even more."
James does as directed, though he seems confused. As he leaves, the cowman looks at you.
"Well, John, there's been some trouble. Terrible, terrible trouble. You might remember Trey and Luz. They don't exist anymore. And Mr. Lee and Mrs. Lee. They don't exist anymore, either. So you're my only friend now, John, you're my only friend! And if there is one thing I need, it's friends! Friends help me think right, you see."
"No, wait. I don't recognise you with all the hairy pinkness going on. Who are you?"
[Toby's affinity roll: 6-->3+1]
[Toby's finesse roll: 5]
A man suddenly shoots out of the unfamiliar man's palm, wrapping himself around you as he collides into your body, sending you flying to the ground.
"I thought this would be a good day. How quick the day was in proving me wrong," the new man sighs.
"How about now?" the hairy pink elemental dude asks.
Larry reeled as the angelic spell knowledge flooded his brain. He grabbed what he could out of the tide of knowledge before he got snapped back to reality. He blinked a couple time at the Oldthinker. Did he know any? What's an outsider again?
"Uhhh... maybe? Cal saved me from a hairy mafia bean, does that count? Some guy made of birds gave me a soul coin. The magic binder's got a voice too?"
"Thorta like the magic binder, but with a body. Not of thith univerthe. I kind of want to talk to one, thee what they've got to thay about all thith."
Post by: Pancaek on August 13, 2014, 01:38:53 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 13, 2014, 01:47:40 pm
"Define not existing. Do you mean they're dead? Also, you torturing Trey and Luz most certainly doesn't make us friends. And how the hell did you get in here anyway, I'm pretty sure I locked the door on my way out."
"Silly John, doors mean nothing to me. Or guns, for that matter, and physical harm in general. As for the whole "not existing" thing, yes, Mr. and Mrs. Lee are dead. Trey and Luz killed them. I got on the scene a bit too late to help, and I got into a little bit of a dark place there, but I did come up with a pretty cool punishment for the two little munchkins, and not a cruel or disgusting one, either! I can tell you all about it if you want to know! It was a stroke of genius, I think!"
The cowman seems like he'd really love to tell you all about it.
Post by: Pancaek on August 13, 2014, 01:49:53 pm
John takes his hand off of his revolver and crosses his arms in front of him
Post by: Toaster on August 13, 2014, 01:52:41 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on August 13, 2014, 02:09:26 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 13, 2014, 02:18:47 pm
Eta crawled into a ball and put her hands over her head.
Oh God, I'm trapped. Any moment now they are going to notice me and they are going to kill me. Or trample me. This is all my fault. I need to be better at magic. I need to put magic in me. I need power. I need the leyline.
Try to put magic in me. Focus on replacing part of me with magic, like Joan said.
Post by: Xantalos on August 13, 2014, 02:28:52 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 13, 2014, 02:36:20 pm
"Yeah, sure. Tell me about it, but give me the super fucking short version, if you'd please. And after that, you can tell me what the hell you want with me."
John takes his hand off of his revolver and crosses his arms in front of him
"Okay! Super fucking short version it is! I made Luz into an old man, made Trey into an old woman. Took out all of their memories, and I do mean all of their memories, completely obliterated their original identities, put them in the same retirement home in Retiree Row as an identical replacement for two actual old people I made into young, virile teenagers and displaced elsewhere to free up space! And I also made the two lovebirds hate each other for reasons they don't know. Once you get a bit of experience, molding minds is a pretty easy thing to do, after all! The nursing staff think they're demented and strange, and they're never going to know any better until the day they die. They might even get visited by relatives they won't recognize, though I wouldn't count on it. It was a pretty awful retirement home. Anyway, cool, huh? Permanent solution, no need for additional effort on my part, unlike eternal torture!" the cowman quickly explains with a disturbing bovine grin.
"And as for what I want from you, well, like I said, you know? You're the only friend I've got left. I'm having terrible luck with friends for some reason."
Larry squints, then shrugs. "'Fraid not. Maybe Halesey has; he's gone his own way, and is getting mixed up with potatoes and all that. What's one like, anyway?"
"Eathietht way to put it ith, angelth have powerth of movement, demonth have powerth of command, elementalth have powerth over an element, while outthiderth have powerth of univerthal change. They're like worldth in and of themthelveth, and they're more powerful than pretty much anything around here. Outer godth would be another word for them. They're rarer becauthe it'th more difficult for them to reach thith far into reality. They're what giveth you magic, I think, and tho the betht thing to do to know more about thith would be to athk one about what'th happening. Bring one over here, actually. Would probably make for an amathing party."
"Nah, doesn't ring a bell. Wanna become a follower of the potato god?"
"No. Fuck you, and especially fuck your goddamn potatoes. I don't want to see either you or a fucking potato again in my entire life. So sayonara, asshole," he says, gives you a bras d'honneurs and shifts into a spearlike form, flying through and breaking the window of the cafe, landing out on the street, then heading off at a brisk, shifting pace, leaving you in the arms of a depressing gentleman.
"Abandoned by my creator as soon as I am born. It is almost typical, really."
((I was going to try sponge form against the skeletons, but I think I should do this a bit more quickly so that I don't leave Xan waiting. So...))
Eta crawled into a ball and put her hands over her head.
Oh God, I'm trapped. Any moment now they are going to notice me and they are going to kill me. Or trample me. This is all my fault. I need to be better at magic. I need to put magic in me. I need power. I need the leyline.
Try to put magic in me. Focus on replacing part of me with magic, like Joan said.
You would, but you don't feel any kind of magic, you think. No magic at all. If there's a leyline here, it is almost certainly beyond your ability to perceive in a meaningful way. You begin to despair, but you do hear a voice from above suddenly.
"Hahahah!" the voice laughs a bit derisively, and even though you look up, it's sufficiently far away that you can't really see it too well, though you do perceive the smoke coming off its shape. "Did you just fall into your own pit? Fucking amazing!"
Post by: Toaster on August 13, 2014, 02:40:19 pm
Post by: Pancaek on August 13, 2014, 02:46:07 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 13, 2014, 02:55:32 pm
"So... just stick my head back in the binder and ask it to come chill with us?"
"The binder ith... different. I think we want thomething that already walkth the earth, tho to thpeak. Tho the binder prolly wouldn't work. It might help point you to thomebody who might work, though."
"Yeah, good on you, sentencing two kids to a fate worse than death." he says, walking towards his liquor cabinet and pulling out the first bottle he sees. "Now get the hell out of my house. I already made a promise to look after someone, and I've got no time to look after some eldritch cow creature as well. I'm sure you'll make more friends elsewhere. Don't let the door hit you on the way out" he says in a cold tone, looking the cow in the eyes and taking a swig of the bottle
"Oh, come on, John, I can point you to a leyline if you'll be my friend! Unguarded, unknown by anyone but the Lees, and they're dead now! Come on, please. I need a friend, or I'll get strange! And I don't like it when I get strange! Please!"
Post by: Pancaek on August 13, 2014, 03:01:03 pm
"How do I know you won't just hulk out on me and torture me and James? How can I trust you that this isn't some elaborate trap? And how, in fact, does being my friend stop you from going strange?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 13, 2014, 03:02:54 pm
Post by: Toaster on August 13, 2014, 03:10:27 pm
Bless Angel on the Oldthinker! Then stick my face in the binder and talk to the entity thing.
"HEY! Magic dispensing dude! Where can I find one of you that's already walking the earth and all that jazz?"
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 13, 2014, 03:14:43 pm
John takes a long swig from the bottle, then looks at the cow again.
"How do I know you won't just hulk out on me and torture me and James? How can I trust you that this isn't some elaborate trap? And how, in fact, does being my friend stop you from going strange?"
"I hate torturing people! Well, maybe not 'hate', exactly, it's a subtle art and all, as I got to find out, but it's not something I do for fun. I mean, I like it when I figure out a clever idea on how to punish somebody, but it's not like making people suffer is some kind of hobby of mine. The whole torture thing was just an errand of Mrs. Lee's that went a bit too far, honest. I really didn't know it'd end the way it did! It's what happens when I don't communicate with people enough. My mind starts to act in weird patterns. It's when I talk to someone other than myself when I register it, see, and know that something's going wrong! So then I can fix it, and become, you know, normal and so forth."
"Yo voice. Is there any way to make my magic suck less? Also Gremlin Kings, would you be willing to make a pact to destroy the tech of my enemies and subjugate them I guess and I will let you take all their porcelain as well as attempt to squire more myself as payment."
~Well, your best bet is probably the God of Dentures. It got sort of co-opted as the core of the planet you're standing on, you see. Process of change and all that.~
Also, the Undulating Porcelain Gremlin Kings seem to find that prospect quite kickin', and more than a little bit tubular at that.
Post by: Xantalos on August 13, 2014, 03:24:37 pm
Post by: Pancaek on August 13, 2014, 03:27:02 pm
"Tell you what. I suppose I can totally become your friend, but I need to know some things. First and foremost, what do I actually call you? Secondly, I want you to just take a look at my friend outside for any weird magical mumbo jumbo. He's been through some weird stuff lately and I don't want any magical aftereffects sticking to him. Let's start with that shall we."
John yells towards the front door
"It's okay, James, coast is clear! You can come in now!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 13, 2014, 04:34:56 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 13, 2014, 05:14:40 pm
((Oh, that guy! Lawas, that's the homeless Jesus guy from the factory.))
Almost, good fellow, but not quite!
"Hmm." john leans against the cabinet.
"Tell you what. I suppose I can totally become your friend, but I need to know some things. First and foremost, what do I actually call you? Secondly, I want you to just take a look at my friend outside for any weird magical mumbo jumbo. He's been through some weird stuff lately and I don't want any magical aftereffects sticking to him. Let's start with that shall we."
"You may call me... Mr. Menkau! Or just Menkau. I just came up with that! Can you tell? Also, sure, send him in!"
John yells towards the front door
"It's okay, James, coast is clear! You can come in now!"
James comes in, looking nervous, and Menkau examines him.
"Looks pretty normal, doesn't he? Can't really spot anything wrong, to be honest."
Post by: Xantalos on August 13, 2014, 05:27:35 pm
...
The guy who was at the leyline first? That lawyer guy Halesly threatened with a potato vortex to get ownership of the factory?))
Post by: Jamahawk on August 13, 2014, 05:29:27 pm
Post by: Xantalos on August 13, 2014, 05:30:56 pm
Post by: Pancaek on August 13, 2014, 05:34:02 pm
Now then, Menkau, let's hear about that Leyline. Also, I don't suppose you can turn Trey and Luz back while taking away their magic?"
Ask questions of mister Menkau. Also read the magazine once more, for tasty tasty spells
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 13, 2014, 06:08:09 pm
Don't show fear Eta. This might be one of those hostile wizards they warned me about. You need to be strong, don't show weakness, so that they don't try to hurt you or take advantage of you.
He looked at the smoky form, trying to look determined, despite the fact that she was surrounded by blue skeletons and the fact that she was on the verge of tears moments ago.
"I wouldn't say that's amazing sir. Unfortunate perhaps, but not amazing."
Post by: lawastooshort on August 14, 2014, 03:00:05 am
"God blessed, dickweed!" shouts Halesey after the heathen, "Blessed... Bunghole. Now, you, depressed dude, get the feck off of me or you're joining me in potato heaven, where only outright joy is permitted. Right?"
Go through the potato vortex in search of the cafe guy who jumped through the other turn. If I meet resistance from the depressed dude, knee him in the crotch until he relents, then cast a further potato vortex on the potato vortex, then leap the feck through it.
((HB - do my blessings and magic abilities look correct? I think they are?))
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 14, 2014, 06:21:08 am
"Good. James, this is mister Menkau, our new best friend. Make yourself at home. There's liquor in the cabinet over here and I'm pretty sure I've got some leftover chow in the fridge.
Now then, Menkau, let's hear about that Leyline. Also, I don't suppose you can turn Trey and Luz back while taking away their magic?"
James quickly moves to the fridge, retrieving some chow, while Menkau speaks further.
"The leyline's in the middle of the Lower Esplanade, and I can show you where! As for Trey and Luz, well, no. No can do! I did give my word that I'd torment them if they screwed the pooch like they obviously did, and they seemed to find that worth it, so it's all equitable, methinks!"
Eta got up and tried to calm herself.
Don't show fear Eta. This might be one of those hostile wizards they warned me about. You need to be strong, don't show weakness, so that they don't try to hurt you or take advantage of you.
He looked at the smoky form, trying to look determined, despite the fact that she was surrounded by blue skeletons and the fact that she was on the verge of tears moments ago.
"I wouldn't say that's amazing sir. Unfortunate perhaps, but not amazing."
"Heh, not for you! But it does seem to provide us with a pretty cool situation, so there's that. Tell me, you wanna get out? Because I can help you with that, easy as pie."
Post by: Pancaek on August 14, 2014, 08:24:49 am
Now, before we discuss the leyline, I'd like your thoughts on something. James, please tell mister Menkau here everything you remember about Mary and what happened the last couple of days.
Make James explain what happened to him and Mary, and explain about Mary, everything he can remember. Then recieve wisdom about this from menkau, probably.
Then read the magazine, for spells
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 14, 2014, 10:06:15 am
Be ready to cast volley of golden high heels, just in case Smokey tries to hurt me.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 14, 2014, 12:51:17 pm
"Yes, I suppose it does. And yes, I would be delighted to accept your offer of assistance for getting out of this predicament. It would probably be safer and faster than the way I had devised."
Be ready to cast volley of golden high heels, just in case Smokey tries to hurt me.
"You're damn right it'd be faster and safer. SKELETONS, FORM UPWARD LADDER!" Smokey shouts, and you plummet downward still as the skeletons, using their own limbs and bodies, quickly form a ladder leading up to the edge of the pit.
"Howzat?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 14, 2014, 01:35:27 pm
"Wow! Impressive! Thank you!“ Eta exclaimed as she began climbing the skele-ladder. "I didn't know that could happen! How did you do that?“
Climb up. Try not to break the Skeletons. Thank Smokey, see if he wants anything from me beyond amusement.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 16, 2014, 11:12:04 am
A minute has passed as of the beginning of his waiting period. Time has slowed to a crawl. He may be here for subjective years if this keeps up. Maybe they can just go ahead anyway. The music in here kind of sucks, he notices. Probably the fault of all these teenagers around, and the generally apathetic businessmen.
Two minutes. Maybe he should have another donut. He kind of wants another donut. He always wants another donut, though, so that's not exactly unusual. It's not as bad as it was in jail sometimes, where he'd wake up with shaking hands, a dry mouth and a residual taste of strawberry jelly in his mouth from his dreams that drove him wild. The music still sucks.
Three minutes. The lights really are kind of annoying here. THE DUNKER currently has nothing to say. The decor could use a lot of work. This is basically just a house that somebody stopped renovating and then furnished with refuse. It smells like dust in here. It's probably from the shitty drywall that's been put up and not painted over. He wonders how much cancer the bartender will have in his future if he doesn't stop breathing this crap.
Four minutes. What would a house of self-replicating dentures look like, anyhow? How do dentures self-replicate? And would anybody ever care to live in such a house? Dentures are, after all, something nobody except their owner would ever want to touch. Would be effective against burglars, though only if the dentures were slimy-looking and felt like they have been in somebody's mouth, though there'd be a disturbing factor involved even if they weren't.
Five minutes. THE DUNKER can take no more.
"I don't think anybody's coming. Maybe they got into a car crash and died. Or fell into a black hole on the way. Can we go without them?"
"Patience, fatty! They'll be here. The lady seemed like a punctual sort of old gal, methinks. Maybe you can go out for a walk with Pete if all yer gonna do is sit around and whine from here on in. You've got your box of donuts, too. Have some! Enjoy yourself! Live a little!"
"Better not. Look at Joanie, she's already a tragedy in the making, and it's not even past five yet."
"Shut the fuck up, Nigel! Bartender, need a Dropped Croissant over here! Last one, I believe!"
"Rightly so, miss. I'll call Malloy in a moment," the bartender says, fixing up the last Dropped Croissant in the house.
* * * * *
A few of the Larries have a beautiful idea they wish to try, and that is to bless the Oldthinker.
"Okay, I'll ask him. But it gave me a cool new spell I want to try first. Catch this!" they says, but the spell they're thinking of fails to work, it seems.
"Thath not gonna work. I'm not actually an angel, thee. Jutht an old thoul," the many voices of the Oldthinker suffusing the air inform the many wizards. Oh well. The Larries have tried. They press their faces into their binders and pose a question of the entity accessible through it, wondering of where to find more of its kind, except ambulatory and stuff.
~TRY THE WATERMELON MAN YOU SAW BEFORE IN THE COMPANY OF THE LOOSE WOMAN AT THE BAR! HAHAHAH!~ one variation says.
~LOOK AROUND IN THE HEAVENS FOR THAT LADY YOU SENT HERE BACK AT THE CHURCH! SURELY SHE WILL JUST LOVE TO HELP YOU!~ another shouts.
~JUST TAKE A STROLL AROUND THE STREETS AT THE BOUNDARY TIMES, MORTAL, IF YOU DARE! THE PRIME HOURS!~ is the gist of the rest of the answers.
* * * * *
After coming to an arrangement with the Undulating Porcelain Gremlin Kings, Dave moves on through the hogweed, booze and fungus-based wilderness of his world, it seems - the peeps that are not hostile, they are woefully rare on a planet such as this, where the land itself is made of consuming fungal shadow that devours the unwary and presses them into subversive service under threat of death.
Speaking of, he feels the land begin to nip at his heels once more, and his bare feet begin to sink into the soft ground once more.
[Fungal Mass vs. Dave: 2 vs. 1-1]
He sinks into the ground to his knees, wondering silently if the shadows beneath will be displeased at his work so far. Probably not - he did do the mold-mounts a solid favor when he thylacine-rivered the underwear legions.
* * * * *
Halesey, now that the filthy heathen has run off, shouts after him derisively, then turns to the depressed gentleman hugging his body.
"God blessed, dickweed! Blessed... Bunghole. Now, you, depressed dude, get the feck off of me or you're joining me in potato heaven, where only outright joy is permitted. Right?"
"Joy is but a fantasy of the deluded, good sir," the man drones, not really permitting Halesey to get up from his position. Very well. He had this coming.
[Halesey vs. Depressed Gentleman: 3-1 vs. 3-1]
He kneads the gentleman in the crotch lightly, their current position allowing little else, which the gentleman does not seem very happy about.
"I appreciate your effort, sir, but I am afraid my issues are more existential in nature, and to be resolved in a less fleshy manner, if indeed they can be resolved at all, which I have cause to doubt, unfortunately."
Ignoring the direction this is going, Halesey decides to cast another vortex at the vortex, so as to obtain a squared vortex!
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->6+1]
However, the man's presence prevents him from both rightly concentrating, even with purifying thoughts of dearest Linda buried in a pile of thousand potatoes utilized beforehand, and making the appropriate gestures needed to make the potatoes really flow, you know?
* * * * *
John speaks sternly to Menkau, making it clear that them being friends hinges on certain conditions, similarly to any other friendships.
"Right, yeah. I didn't think we could undo those two, but it can't hurt to ask anyway. But we're not having any of this torturing business anymore, you hear."
"How many times do I need to say it, I don't even like doing it! I just like doing clever things! I don't intend to torture anyone unless you, like, tell me to!"
"Now, before we discuss the leyline, I'd like your thoughts on something. James, please tell mister Menkau here everything you remember about Mary and what happened the last couple of days."
James looks doubtfully at Menkau, then begins to speak.
"Well, I think I met Mary at a bar - she was a beautiful woman, more beautiful than any I had ever seen. I was, well, instantly in love. So I went over to her, and she saw me, and she nearly spilled her drink, and we both laughed. She was kind of silly, always falling over herself, getting herself in all kinds of weird predicaments... but I was there, you know, and she seemed to kind of feel better if I was there, and I felt good that I could be there for her when all these things happened. We dated for a month or so, and, uh, well, had some good times, you know. She was weird, but I went for that kind of thing. Things were going fast. She moved in with me. It was kind of strange, since I didn't really see her ever sleep. She was just... up all day and night, as far as I could tell."
"The first month went by, and in that time period the house was robbed twice, set on fire once and regularly skipped by the mailman for some reason. We stopped getting bills. The water would randomly cut out, or the power, or both. Once the TV exploded, and I was weirded out. It seemed like the house was cursed or something, but we went on living. Despite all the weirdness, I loved Mary, and she seemed to love me, too. So I proposed - she was flattered, she said, and I thought it was phrased a little strangely, but she accepted. We got married soon after that, though it wasn't at a church or anything. There was nobody to invite - my immediate family were all dead, and she never even spoke of hers. And then she suggested I move in with her, since my house was in kind of a bad shape at that time. I said yes, and then..."
"... I don't really recall what happened then, it's just a bunch of disconnected events. Places, things, but not people. No people at all. That was the strangest thing. At first Mary was there, but then we got separated, I think. I don't know how long it's been, even. And then John found me, we found Mary and... she left me. Told John to look after me. And that was that, pretty much. But the weirdest thing is, aside from the very end, it doesn't really feel like any of it happened to me. It's like the entirety of my life before John found me is just a story someone told me, and I'm now repeating it to you. I only started to remember parts when John asked me to relay everything I remember. I'm still not sure I had a childhood, or if I ever went to school, or anything else."
Menkau laughs at the end.
"Oh, that right there's a common problem. I wondered what it was about your shadow that seemed a little unusual. Mary's an outsider! She pulled you into her world, sounds like. And then your self became a little... diluted. You joined with the greater Mary-self, you see. But that's basically like having a great big nothing stuck into you, since we outsiders tend to be a bit decompressed, so to speak. So your identity is probably your identity. Or maybe an amalgam of several people she's pulled into her world! Or maybe entirely a figment of her imagination, made out of spare flesh she had lying around and filled with roughly fitting memories to try and alleviate her loneliness before she retreated away from you in disgust at her own silly behavior. But none of those last two seem very reassuring, given the face you're making, so let's assume James is a person that has existed and had an independent life before meeting Mary, and lived largely unharmed, and your version of events is the correct one. After all, there's no real way to know one from the other, aside from asking Mary herself, but I don't know her personally, and she'll probably try to lie about it to make you feel better, which puts a damper on that! So... yeah!"
James stares blankly at Menkau, while John looks at his mag, seeking magical wisdom to raise his spirits.
[John's mind roll: 2+1]
He goes into the world of magical revelation, only to catch a single sphere of knowledge before being ejected unceremoniously, a single spell richer, yet also a single spell poorer.
Spoiler: John's New Spell (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Eta, overjoyed at the way the skeletons seem to have oriented themselves according to Smokey's bidding, climbs up the ladder.
"Wow! Impressive! Thank you! I didn't know that could happen! How did you do that?"
"It's all in THE VOICE, baby! And these are mere minions, and pretty easy to order around. No offense, but you don't have enough oomph to your magic to conjure very resistant minions. It's an art to do that kind of shit right, and I should know."
As soon as Eta climbs up the stairs, she gets a good look at Smokey, though she slightly wishes she had not, since he looks quite disturbing up close. A short figure, significantly shorter than Eta, as a matter of fact, with a pot belly and a very wiry frame, wearing a terribly stained (perhaps with oil, or maybe blood) tracksuit combined with cheap jewelry and running shoes. He appears to be entirely hairless, with leathery tan skin that's wrinkled in places, and two beady eyes that are a milky gray, without any pupils. And on top of that, he appears to be smoking a cigar very intently. He smiles at Eta, revealing a mouth full of brown teeth.
"So, has your handsome prince arrived or HAS HE ARRIVED!" Smokey says, his voice echoing oddly as the tone changes. "Name's Clive, by the way. Pleased to meet you!" he extends a leathery hand.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 16, 2014, 11:50:23 am
"Oh, hey guys! Um... whats up?"
Post by: Xantalos on August 16, 2014, 05:08:55 pm
Use Control Booze to make a talking booze parrot. Try to have interesting conversation if I succeed.
Distract myself from the donuts. Don't pay attention to the box or the scent or- talk to the parrot
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 16, 2014, 06:00:14 pm
"The pleasure is all mine, Mr Clive." said Eta as she firmly shook the man's hand, masking the fact that she had to lean to reach him with a small bow. "My name is Henrietta R. Hippo, although my friends call me Eta."
"So, what brings you here this fine day? I'm here to looking for some sort of leyline, but I seem to be unable to find it."
Maybe he knows where it is. Maybe that's why he's here.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 17, 2014, 03:42:35 am
He helped me. I suppose I should be grateful. And that Voice thing sounds interesting, powerful, worthy of investigation. Better try not to think about his... less endearing qualities. Especially that smugness. Remember Eta, smiles open doors.
"The pleasure is all mine, Mr Clive." said Eta as she firmly shook the man's hand, masking the fact that she had to lean to reach him with a small bow. "My name is Henrietta R. Hippo, although my friends call me Eta."
"So, what brings you here this fine day? I'm here to looking for some sort of leyline, but I seem to be unable to find it."
Maybe he knows where it is. Maybe that's why he's here.
The man's hand is like an unusually abrasive brand of sandpaper, you notice.
"Well, Eta, I was in the neighborhood, doing my thing, and walked along thinking someone might need help. And if you knew me, you'd know I can't say no to somebody in need of help, you know? Just isn't in my better nature! And wouldn't you know it, I can point you right to this leyline. In fact, I can take you there right now, safe and sound, so you can do that whole magic thing without any problem whatsoever. Sound good?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 17, 2014, 05:34:10 am
Follow Clive.
"So, Clive, do you spend all you evenings rescuing damsels in distress or does a man like you have other hobbies?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 17, 2014, 06:29:36 am
"Sounds excellent! Lead the way!"
Follow Clive.
"So, Clive, do you spend all you evenings rescuing damsels in distress or does a man like you have other hobbies?"
He leads you up to the third floor, speaking as he walks.
"You can be sure I have so many hobbies, you don't even know! Reading ledgers, writing ledgers, carrying ledgers, ordering minions to do the previous three, laughing at the way they don't know shit about economics or running a business, beating people at their own games, talking at length about what I do, beating people at other games, watching people do funny things, beating people, negotiating all kinds of business... many of those are kinda like my work, though. I guess I'm married to that, in a way. See, I love what I do, and I spend every waking minute doing it. A 'consummate workaholic', that's me, alright."
You step out into the hallway and walk a bit to another, more clandestinely placed staircase that leads up to the roof.
"I guess I also practice shooting for fun. I dance a little. I've tried knitting, and that was pretty fun, though I was shit at it. I play drums sometimes! A little bit of golf when I've got time and feel like ruining someone's lawn. Tried my hand at sculpting and woodworking, and of course I exercise when needed - ain't gonna get anywhere in this business if you don't exercise, obviously."
As you get out on the roof, Clive points at an empty patch of air right above the giant hole - the same spot where the people on the roof you saw previously were messing around, it seems like.
"Now, that there's the leyline. Can you feel it?"
You do feel it. Very intensely, actually, like a second invisible sun in the sky that you're standing next to. You wonder how you didn't feel it before, with the strong pull it's exerting on you right now, beckoning to come closer and partake of its power, align yourself to it.
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 17, 2014, 07:43:31 am
Leyline... now... Question... strange man... strange actions... later... Leyline beautiful...
Do that leyline alignment thing.
Post by: Pancaek on August 17, 2014, 12:50:14 pm
Invite Menkau and James to go for a walk. Go check out the Leyline Menkau mentioned with them.
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 17, 2014, 03:15:34 pm
"Yes! I can feel it! It's beautiful! Like a second sun!" said Eta as she walked towards the leyline.
Leyline... now... Question... strange man... strange actions... later... Leyline beautiful...
Do that leyline alignment thing.
You extend your arms toward the leyline, trying to get a feel for it, to align yourself to it. And you do feel your very soul stir as the leyline reaches out to you as well. You take a step toward it, then another, then another, feeling the heat as the raw magic begins to claw at your being, a chill running through you. There is beauty here, and meaning, and wonder, and all of it has currently touched your mind, pushing a fragment of your mortal self right out as it grows closer to you - a small part of you simply evaporates, gone forever, but you do not miss it, for what has taken its place is far more wonderful than you could ever hope to imagine. Your body is filled with a sensation of sudden wellness as all pains disappear, and the thought of your own flesh grows more distant and less relevant, if only a little bit.
~Wellinimously diddined! Powining is obituned succeedingly!~
You have aligned yourself with one leyline! Assign one new point to your stats. You may also now focus on a specific spell effect as you research spells!
As the grand elation of transcendence begins to fade, you become aware that you seem to be on the edge of the hole right now.
[Your finesse roll: 2]
You begin to wave your arms wildly as you look down, about to fall down, but Clive pulls you back, chuckling to himself.
"There's a metaphor to be used here, but I'll be the bigger man and not point it out. So, feeling better, Eta?"
Post by: lawastooshort on August 18, 2014, 03:21:34 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 18, 2014, 03:28:44 am
”Oh, well, I’m very sorry to hear that, Clive. Is there anything I can do to help? I have just lost someone in that there potato vortex, and I’d like to follow them in so as to help them return. Do you have any suggestions? A magically summoned being such as you must surely have a useful opinion on this kind of thing?”
"I'm afraid not. A dearth of wisdom and relevance is what has made me into what I am, unfortunately."
Post by: lawastooshort on August 18, 2014, 05:10:06 am
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on August 18, 2014, 05:19:44 am
”Want to come into this potato vortex with me? I found it very therapeutic the first time. Well, every time, actually.”I doubt having the true insignificance of yourself being forcefully thrust upon yourself via being subject to a world where all is simply just potatoes stretching infinitely into the horizon, showing how small and how easily the reality in which you live in can be perverted so easily simply to the whims of a deranged potato obsessed man with access to something that everybody in the world could acquire.
But who knows, they might find that very fun.
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 18, 2014, 06:13:19 am
Eta looked at the hole, feeling a bit acrophobic at the moment. Someone should really do something about this hole... Someone should really fix this place up in its entirety, now that I think about it. I should see about maybe buying this place. I'd certainly like to do some experiments with that leyline, see if there's something I can learn from it. Or maybe I could have Rieux convince someone in the government to let me- Oh, wait Rieux. I better make my way to our meeting point. I'll have to think about what I'm going to do about this place later. Right now I need to think about how I'm going to tell her about me.
"That's the second time you've helped me today. I suppose I am in your debt." Eta said as she turned to look at her saviour. "If there's anything I can do for you, anything at all..."
"I am... I have an important meeting near Jew Street, and I need to be there soon. Do you have the time to... There's so many things I want to ask you, but I don't know if you have the time. Could you, maybe walk with me to the meeting or at least give me your number so that I can talk with you later?"
1 Point in Body. Also, can you check to see if the effects I have in my spoiler have any mistakes?
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on August 18, 2014, 06:36:41 am
I doubt having the true insignificance of yourself being forcefully thrust upon
Through the potato, we can all find significance.
a deranged potato obsessed man
!Attention! You are having dirty badthoughts. !Attention!
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 18, 2014, 07:02:31 am
Because potatoes grow in dirt.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 18, 2014, 08:09:31 am
”Want to come into this potato vortex with me? I found it very therapeutic the first time. Well, every time, actually.”
"I am sad to say that I am unconvinced by these assertions."
"Yes, thank you. I... I feel great! Like I traded part of me for something more. Like all pain, all tiredness has left my body."
Eta looked at the hole, feeling a bit acrophobic at the moment. Someone should really do something about this hole... Someone should really fix this place up in its entirety, now that I think about it. I should see about maybe buying this place. I'd certainly like to do some experiments with that leyline, see if there's something I can learn from it. Or maybe I could have Rieux convince someone in the government to let me- Oh, wait Rieux. I better make my way to our meeting point. I'll have to think about what I'm going to do about this place later. Right now I need to think about how I'm going to tell her about me.
"That's the second time you've helped me today. I suppose I am in your debt." Eta said as she turned to look at her saviour. "If there's anything I can do for you, anything at all..."
"I am... I have an important meeting near Jew Street, and I need to be there soon. Do you have the time to... There's so many things I want to ask you, but I don't know if you have the time. Could you, maybe walk with me to the meeting or at least give me your number so that I can talk with you later?"
"Actually, I was about to address that problem. Beat me to it! See, the thing is, I think it'd be great, simply amazing, if I could be your familiar. A little helper spirit, you know? You could call me up when needed, and I could help you out with whatever questions and problems you got. Sound good? I think that sounds good. Feel like getting yourself a familiar, Eta?" Clive asks, looking enthusiastic.
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on August 18, 2014, 08:13:16 am
Post by: lawastooshort on August 18, 2014, 08:58:48 am
If Clive doesn’t get off me, repeatedly knee him in the balls until he does. Then go forth into the vortex.
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 18, 2014, 10:17:36 am
A familiar? Helper spirit? He certainly doesn't look like one. Aren't familiars supposed to be little animal-demons that help evil witches? What if he is some kind of crazy wizard? Or demon or djin or other such malicious spirit (if those things exist)? He certainly displayed impressive power back there. And talked about things that would most probably be done by a man, not a spirit. Why would he want to help me?
Then again, it's not like anything's supposed to make sense in magic. Judging people from their appearance alone, without giving them a chance to prove themselves is not right, especially when magic is concerned. And I should accept any offer of help and knowledge, no matter where it comes from, when it concerns a matter as important as this. I just have to do that carefully, right?
...
Maybe the trick about this whole magic business is letting yourself go, facing problems as they come and not worrying about what happens next?
"I... that certainly sounds good, especially considering what you have already done for me, I of course wholeheartedly accept your gracious offer, but are you sure that... Eh, I mean, why me? And how exactly would that work? I'll just say your name three times and you'll appear?"
Post by: Toaster on August 18, 2014, 11:29:11 am
Hmm... watermelon man... was that the pancake guy? Could try him.
The lady in the church? No thanks.
What are the boundary times?
"Might know one guy, but he said at the boundary times I should find them easily. When's that?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 18, 2014, 01:35:27 pm
"I... that certainly sounds good, especially considering what you have already done for me, I of course wholeheartedly accept your gracious offer, but are you sure that... Eh, I mean, why me? And how exactly would that work? I'll just say your name three times and you'll appear?"
"Actually, yeah. That's pretty much how it works. As for why you, well, you're around and you seem like a good sort! So, if that's all agreeable and whatnot, let's shake on it, huh?"
He extends his hand once more.
Guess he'd have to bless a different angel, Cal maybe. Or screw that, wasn't he himself part angel now?
Hmm... watermelon man... was that the pancake guy? Could try him.
The lady in the church? No thanks.
What are the boundary times?
"Might know one guy, but he said at the boundary times I should find them easily. When's that?"
"The boundary time ith bathically one o' clock. In the morning and in the afternoon. There'th subtle differenthes there, but they're not important."
Post by: Toaster on August 18, 2014, 01:47:49 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 18, 2014, 01:50:20 pm
Larry scratched all his heads he could. "Arright then, so you just want to ride out with me to meet this pancake guy? I think he must be one."
"I can't leave. I'm actually dead, you thee. Bound to thith heaven, I am."
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 18, 2014, 02:00:43 pm
Shake on it.
Post by: Toaster on August 18, 2014, 02:02:33 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 18, 2014, 02:48:08 pm
"Uuuuhhhh.... Sure! Why not?"
Shake on it.
You shake his hand, and your palm is suddenly hit with an intense burning sensation. You look Clive in the eyes, and see a strange fire within them despite their opaque, silvery nature. A strong sense of foreboding hits you, and cold sweat begins to run down your face for some reason as you look at him.
"Glad we could agree so easily!" he says, drawing his hand back. Your palm still feels rather sore. "So, in case you need me, the name's Clive Caradog, okay? Either Clive or Caradog'll do if you say it three times - try the other if one doesn't work, or both at the same time. It should work, though. So, unless you got questions right now, I do have a bit of business to attend to."
"So how do you plan on meeting one? Got a cell phone?"
"Jutht athk one to come over here. They'll prolly know what you're talking about. Tell them that I invite them here to come and go ath they wish."
Post by: Toaster on August 18, 2014, 02:56:54 pm
Cast Bless Angel on myself!
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 18, 2014, 04:54:59 pm
"Just one, actually. Do you have any tips for telling someone you're a witch? Someone who might not be very happy about that?"
Listen to anything he has to say on the subject. If he has no questions, then:
"Okay then. Thanks again for everything. Expect me to call you later today, assuming nothing horrible happens until then. We have much to discuss and I have much to learn. Especially about that voice of yours. Until then, goodbye Mr. Caradog."
Go to my meeting with Rieux at that abstract art slash war memorial near Jew Street.
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 20, 2014, 08:04:23 am
"Report. Progress."
"Impatience. Increasing."
"False. Prophecy. Must. Be. Performed."
As Dave is about to give some kind of reply, the voice from his matchbox interrupts his train of thought.
~Say, Dave! Can you sense the Denture God? The power you seek? Try reaching out to it!~
He does sense something at the edge of his perception, as a matter of fact. The Denture God, huh?
* * * * *
Bored beyond belief, THE DUNKER has a brilliant thought. He can control booze. He is in a bar. This is a winning combination.
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 3+1]
A couple of bottles of grain alcohol behind the bartender begin to rustle, drawing his eye. He seems very much creeped out by this. A few of them float over to THE DUNKER, and start to orbit him, the booze seemingly having the urgent need to get out.
"I, erm, do hope you are planning to pay for those, sir," the bartender says, trying his best to seem unruffled and slightly failing.
* * * * *
John decides that that's enough information for his mildly drunken mind to process, and believes it's time to go for a walk. Get some fresh air, you know?
"Right then. I think we can use a bit of a break from this magical nonsense. Let's go for a walk to clear our heads and we'll check out that leyline while we're at it. James, if you don't feel like coming you can stay here if you want."
"I'm not sure what I would do in that event, so I will go with you, I think," James shrugs.
"Splendid! Let's go! To adventure!"
And so they do, walking right out of the apartment, into the streets, and after a couple of turns left and right come to the edge of the police cordon of the disaster area made earlier today. There's a few officers there, looking bored, yet also quite tense as they glance around for any signs of rampaging beavers.
"The leyline, as it were, is not far from the pawn shop - it's in the sewers, as a matter of fact! Not too hard to reach, either. But there is the matter of these fine officers of the law here, obviously."
* * * * *
Halesey is saddened that poor Clive here cannot see the glory of the potato. But then he realizes that Clive still refuses to get off him for some reason. Mixed signals, so to speak.
"Oh. Well. Too bad, I guess. Can you get off me, please?"
"I suppose," he says, and gets up from atop Halesey.
[Clive's body roll: 1-->6-1]
He is then immediately pulled into the raging potato vortex behind him, no longer tethered to the unaffected potato acolyte. Halesey, seeing the wisdom of going toward the potato, jumps in as well and seeks the filthy gobshite he put up to going in there in the first place. However, just as he dives into it, he sees no sign of the man, though Clive is plummeting straight down the tunnel of the potato god already.
* * * * *
Some of the Larries decide to check a pet hypothesis of theirs, and attempt to bless the most wonderful angels they know - themselves! But sadly, it does not seem to work, as there is insufficient angelic power within them.
"You may have better luck if you try that when you have more holineth in you. You're thtill mothtly mortal."
* * * * *
Eta rubs her sore palm and asks Clive a question.
"Just one, actually. Do you have any tips for telling someone you're a witch? Someone who might not be very happy about that?"
"That depends on why they wouldn't be happy about it, I think. If it's because they hate witches, say you're a different kind of witch. If it's because you've kept it a secret until now, well, tell them when you're telling the truth that you're doing it because you're sure you can trust them now. Like they've been elevated to an inner circle. People love it when that happens. There's a lot of nuance to breaking news to people. Lots of context involved when thinking about what to do. Like, if it's a dear friend of yours or something, you could say you were 'afraid of their immediate reaction'. It's a version of 'I don't trust you' that's a bit more tactful, and it works just as well on perfect strangers. Maybe you can look at your motive for keeping the secret, and then spin that in a good way, like you were doing the person a favor by not telling them you're a witch. There's plenty of methods, is what I'm trying to say. And hey, if things go far enough south, call me up and I can help out, 'kay?"
While Clive speaks, Eta notices something on the surface of her palm. A glowing pictogram of an eye staring right at her. The eye blinks every few moments, and the pupil darts about rapidly.
"It's the familiar mark. It should stop glowing within the hour, and after that it should only fire up if you invoke me or point it at... relevant people, let's say. Pretty simple stuff, all in all. It's more cosmetic than actually useful, but hey, makes dealings look real legitimate, doesn't it?"
As if in response, the eye looks straight at Clive, and blinks once. Eta clears her throat awkwardly.
"Okay then. Thanks again for everything. Expect me to call you later today, assuming nothing horrible happens until then. We have much to discuss and I have much to learn. Especially about that voice of yours. Until then, goodbye Mr. Caradog."
"See you soon, Eta!" Clive says, and suddenly ceases to be as Eta blinks. A tad confused, she heads out to look for that meeting place with Officer Rieux. It takes about an hour to get to Jew Street on foot, and a little more time to get to the meeting place, where Officer Rieux already awaits on a park bench, dressed in a manner evocative of the classic image of an art teacher, complete with a curiously colorful ascot. As soon as Eta approaches, Officer Rieux waves to her, and offers an invitation to join her on the nearby bench in regarding the disjointed mass of steel and barbed wire seemingly meant to evoke some aspect of war.
"So, are we ready to go?" she asks.
Post by: Toaster on August 20, 2014, 08:21:58 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 20, 2014, 08:25:16 am
Larry frowns. "Shitty. So how do I get more angel in me?"
"Connect to the thourthe. You already did it onthe, now you have to find another angel to help you with it again. Come back with the outthider, and I'll athk Arielle, Beagle or Phinny to hook you up. Ath eckthra motivation, you know?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 20, 2014, 09:11:18 am
Reach out to the Salty Denture God.
Post by: Toaster on August 20, 2014, 09:12:41 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 20, 2014, 10:09:16 am
"So yeah. About that. I'm not sure that's entirely possible considering that all but one group I've met has threatened to kill me."
Reach out to the Salty Denture God.
You begin to reach for the power of the Denture God, slowly making your way into its slumbering, trapped mind...
"Possibility. Not. An. Object."
"Limitation. Of. Feeble. Minds."
You can almost taste the power.
"Wait. What. Are. You. Doing."
"Stop. You. Will. Kill. Us. All."
A connection is established. The Denture God stirs. Everything begins to quake.
"What has happened to my realm?" a weak voice intones, just on the edge of waking. "Why am I here? Am I trapped? Hm..."
Unmindful of consequences, you let the power of the Denture God reach into you, stab into your poor little organs with its damp, toothy tendrils. A part of you becomes lighter and lighter, something intriguing mixing into your flesh, coalescing into a single point, a phantom ganglion of magical power manifesting on the edge of your perception, sensing, feeling.
You have begun to align yourself with the Denture God! You have 1 point to spend on your stats! In addition, you may now select "Vortex" or "Portal" as valid spell research avenues. Alternatively, you can drop one of your spells at any time in favor of Denture Vortex or Denture Portal.
"God. It. Wakens."
"You. Fool."
"We. Are. Doomed."
"Nonsense... explain yourself, mortal. What is the meaning of all this?"
Larry nodded. "Guess I can't argue with that. So... been a blast hanging here with you peeps, but how do I get back?"
"You jutht need to wish it, thort of. You prolly have the firtht levelth of angelic travel down. Jutht be careful down there. You don't look like you've ridden out the cognitive wave yet."
Post by: Toaster on August 20, 2014, 10:21:56 am
He looked at the other three angels; what are they doing now?
(requesting update of status of the three angels)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 20, 2014, 10:34:52 am
Larry nodded. "Got it. But damned if I'm getting out of here without trying this spell."
He looked at the other three angels; what are they doing now?
(requesting update of status of the three angels)
They are doing... well, a whole lot of things. There are over a hundred instances of each angel, and most of them have quite a lot of variability, though it's largely some kind of talking they're doing right now, or in Beagle's case, buzzing. Phinny seems to be talking, marching around with the others in tow, singing revolutionary songs, walking off to do something in the kitchen, saying that it's been fun and leaving the house, dancing and other things as well. Beagle is buzzing, either here or elsewhere, and staying away from the pot of water at all times. Arielle, similarly to Phinny, appears to be having fun in a variety of ways, one of them including a bit of fun with one of you that seems to be drawing to a close right now in another room most of you do not recognize, but many of them being discussions or idle horseplay. Some of her versions are contemplating leaving, but deciding not to do so yet.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 20, 2014, 10:46:21 am
Post by: Toaster on August 20, 2014, 10:48:00 am
"Hey Arielle, check this out!"
Bless Angel on Arielle!
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 20, 2014, 10:57:35 am
"Well I got knowledge man was not meant to know, some jerk imprisoned me here, due to the incredibly painful wounds I tried to escape leading to horrible mutation (mostly fixed) and in my rage accidentally created an inhabited planet (which you are the core of), was worshiped as a god, made a deal with these weirdos and was threatened with death by everyone I met. After that a voice in my head told me to connect with you and so I did."
"I see. Well, sounds quite reasonable. Would you mind if I broke out of this planet, perhaps? It's quite dark in here, don't you know."
"Do. Not. Permit. This."
"It. Is. Tectonically. Undesirable."
((Don't forget to allocate your point!))
((What I figured, but wanted to be sure.))
"Hey Arielle, check this out!"
Bless Angel on Arielle!
[Your affinity roll: 1-->4+1]
Arielle looks your way, and mostly nothing at all happens for some reason. She starts to glow a little in some instances, though, which she remarks feels kind of good.
Post by: Toaster on August 20, 2014, 11:00:27 am
"Uh, hang on!"
Try again, damn it!
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 20, 2014, 11:09:55 am
((Man, that spell and I don't get along. Also, shouldn't it be +2 for being an Angel spell and 4 in Affinity? Not that it'd really make any difference...))
"Uh, hang on!"
Try again, damn it!
((Actually, that is partly accurate. It should be a +2, but it didn't really matter in this case.))
You attempt to figure out what's gone wrong here, and realize that it's probably all this information coming at you. You decide to power through it with sheer determination, and simultaneously begin to force your will universally, across each and every one of your instances.
[Your affinity roll: 6-->3+1+1+2]
And thus, with a single mighty effort, all of the Arielles every instance of Larry can see begin to glow much more intensely, some of them beginning to symbolically float off the ground. They all seem to find it a very acceptable turn of events, and one Larry in particular seems to be especially pleased with the results.
"Wow. I don't think the water and the blessing were meant to go together, but man, this feels great," seems to be the consensus answer.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 20, 2014, 11:16:21 am
"Um I don't know. Wouldn't that kill me?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 20, 2014, 11:25:02 am
Affinity.
"Um I don't know. Wouldn't that kill me?"
"I wouldn't know. Probably not, I suppose. You could survive in the denture-filled fields, couldn't you?"
Post by: Toaster on August 20, 2014, 11:41:41 am
Wish self back to Earth.
Post by: Pancaek on August 20, 2014, 02:32:09 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 20, 2014, 02:36:00 pm
"Okay. Couldn't we enter the sewers, like, in another street? Isn't it all connected underground?"
"Theoretically, yes! I have not had the chance to ascertain this in practice! But I do know it can get very cramped down there."
Post by: Pancaek on August 20, 2014, 02:41:09 pm
"Theoretically, yes! I have not had the chance to ascertain this in practice! But I do know it can get very cramped down there.""All right then. Let's go with that, unless you've got an idea about how to get around these police officers? "
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 20, 2014, 03:15:16 pm
"All right then. Let's go with that, unless you've got an idea about how to get around these police officers? "
"I could hide you two in my coat and we could walk right past, I think!"
Post by: Pancaek on August 20, 2014, 03:20:39 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on August 20, 2014, 03:32:26 pm
Continue to fall, and shout thus.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 20, 2014, 03:40:05 pm
"Um... Just give me a sec to open an exit just in case."
Vortex it up!
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Xantalos on August 20, 2014, 03:45:17 pm
Continue booze parrotification!
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 21, 2014, 08:20:23 am
"Wouldn't the police get rather suspicious about a cowman with a unnaturally large coat though?"
"Not in my experience!"
((Would I be correct in assuming a Portal is just a Vortex but with less suction?))
No, actually. It's more the inverse of a vortex.
Also, you forgot to add your point to your sheet.
Post by: Toaster on August 21, 2014, 08:32:39 am
Post by: Pancaek on August 21, 2014, 09:30:32 am
Have Menkau whisk us past the local constabulary by hiding inside of his coat and get us to the leyline
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 21, 2014, 12:47:45 pm
"So, are we ready to go?" she asks."Almost. I just... have to do something. To say something. To you."
Eta looked down at her hand and rubbed her palm again, considering the words of wisdom her familiar had given her.
Eh, okay. How do I say this...
"Okay. Listen. There's something I haven't told you, some piece of important information about me. Now, don't worry, what I'm about to say is completely unrelated to the truthfulness of my preview statements. It's something one could say is completely irrelevant to them, in a way.
I didn't tell you before, because I... I was afraid of your immediate reaction. I was afraid you were going to focus on me instead of the more important matter. And, like I said, I consider this investigation to be highly important. I didn't want anybody to stop me.
But now you're helping me or I'm helping you or however you want to put it and I've gotten to know you better and... I want you to have that knowledge, because I've seen that you are someone I can trust. And since it was likely to come up later, I wanted you to learn it from me. I didn't want this to surprise you or distract you from something more important. I wanted you to be prepared in case it becomes relevant.
So... The thing is, when I met Mr. Pilton, he gave me this."
Eta showed the Officer her Magic Matchbox.
"It's one of the ritual objects I told you about. I didn't knew what it was at the time, but I wanted to learn more, I wanted to investigate, I wanted to learn. So that I could help people. So I tried lighting a match and... that's when magic entered me. I didn't knew what it was at first, it took me a few... accidents to learn what I could do, but now, I can focus on certain things, on certain spells and... they happen.
So, I guess, what I've been trying to say is... I'm a witch."
Eta watched the officer closely to see her reaction. She unconsciously took a deep breath and became tense, ready to run or shield herself from attack.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 21, 2014, 01:48:48 pm
"Hi! Nice outfit." Eta commented as she approached Officer Rieux. MISS Rieux. I better keep that in mind."So, are we ready to go?" she asks."Almost. I just... have to do something. To say something. To you."
Eta looked down at her hand and rubbed her palm again, considering the words of wisdom her familiar had given her.
Eh, okay. How do I say this...
"Okay. Listen. There's something I haven't told you, some piece of important information about me. Now, don't worry, what I'm about to say is completely unrelated to the truthfulness of my preview statements. It's something one could say is completely irrelevant to them, in a way.
I didn't tell you before, because I... I was afraid of your immediate reaction. I was afraid you were going to focus on me instead of the more important matter. And, like I said, I consider this investigation to be highly important. I didn't want anybody to stop me.
But now you're helping me or I'm helping you or however you want to put it and I've gotten to know you better and... I want you to have that knowledge, because I've seen that you are someone I can trust. And since it was likely to come up later, I wanted you to learn it from me. I didn't want this to surprise you or distract you from something more important. I wanted you to be prepared in case it becomes relevant.
So... The thing is, when I met Mr. Pilton, he gave me this."
Eta showed the Officer her Magic Matchbox.
"It's one of the ritual objects I told you about. I didn't knew what it was at the time, but I wanted to learn more, I wanted to investigate, I wanted to learn. So that I could help people. So I tried lighting a match and... that's when magic entered me. I didn't knew what it was at first, it took me a few... accidents to learn what I could do, but now, I can focus on certain things, on certain spells and... they happen.
So, I guess, what I've been trying to say is... I'm a witch."
Eta watched the officer closely to see her reaction. She unconsciously took a deep breath and became tense, ready to run or shield herself from attack.
Officer Rieux nods, widening her eyes a little.
"I... see. What exactly do you mean by 'spells'... hm, wait. No. That would lead to far too long a line of questioning. Why don't you just give me a short version of everything you actually know? But hurry. We do have a bar to find," she asks without being overly upset or anything.
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 21, 2014, 06:22:16 pm
I... expected a different kind of reaction. Not that I'm complaining. This actually went better than expected.
"I didn't lie to you, nor did I withhold anything important. The only thing I didn't tell you about was my magic. It's fairly simple, I just perform the ritual by lighting a match and looking at it. When I do that, magical knowledge fills my mind in the form of spells, but I can only remember about 6 spells at any time and the results of the ritual are semi-random. I believe the spells can be cast at any time, as long as I have some focus (and the ability to move, if the spell requires that). Right now for example, I have a spell that allows me to shoot gold out of my hands if I concentrate on it.
Oh, and I just found out I have a familiar about half an hour ago. Some kind of creature that is supposed to help me learn more about magic. I can call him to my location if I say his name three times. I should introduce you to one another when I get the chance, you might find each other... interesting.
To my knowledge, this isn't common. Familiars, I mean. None of the other wizards and witches I've met have told me about anything like that. Then again, I might be mistaken.
So, as you can see, I'm still learning about all this." she added with a forced smile, trying to lighten the mood.
"Do you want me to call you with a different name while we're there? They know my name, but they don't know yours."
Eta was about to ask whether or not they had backup and if she had talked to her superiors about this, but realized that was probably a stupid question.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 22, 2014, 04:24:20 am
Eta blinked a couple of time.
I... expected a different kind of reaction. Not that I'm complaining. This actually went better than expected.
"I didn't lie to you, nor did I withhold anything important. The only thing I didn't tell you about was my magic. It's fairly simple, I just perform the ritual by lighting a match and looking at it. When I do that, magical knowledge fills my mind in the form of spells, but I can only remember about 6 spells at any time and the results of the ritual are semi-random. I believe the spells can be cast at any time, as long as I have some focus (and the ability to move, if the spell requires that). Right now for example, I have a spell that allows me to shoot gold out of my hands if I concentrate on it.
Oh, and I just found out I have a familiar about half an hour ago. Some kind of creature that is supposed to help me learn more about magic. I can call him to my location if I say his name three times. I should introduce you to one another when I get the chance, you might find each other... interesting.
To my knowledge, this isn't common. Familiars, I mean. None of the other wizards and witches I've met have told me about anything like that. Then again, I might be mistaken.
So, as you can see, I'm still learning about all this." she added with a forced smile, trying to lighten the mood.
"Interesting. You'll have to show me more later, if you don't mind."
"Do you want me to call you with a different name while we're there? They know my name, but they don't know yours."
Eta was about to ask whether or not they had backup and if she had talked to her superiors about this, but realized that was probably a stupid question.
"Just call me Ivette. I think that would work best. Now let's move," she says, getting up and walking toward Jew Street.
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 22, 2014, 06:09:52 am
Let's move.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 23, 2014, 06:58:24 am
Firstly, some of them are in the vicinity of the spot where Klein's pawn shop no longer is. Some are at the nunnery in the woods. Some are at home, some outside the Golden Noon Mountain downtown, a few outside of somewhere called Chez Ronardo's, some at one convenience store or another, and a precious few back at home, sitting on a bed. One or two Larries seem to have found themselves outside the factory on Import Avenue. It is late as shit, all Larries conclude as one.
* * * * *
Halesey, as he falls through the vortex, begins to seek the man he sent within, tentatively dubbed Derek. He plunges through the potato stream, seeking any signs of the filthy man. His first thought, rather fortuitously, is to check right behind him, and that seems to be where the fellow happens to be, seemingly having found himself right behind the vortex. Though judging by the way he seems to be poking at the area of space right behind it, Halesey gets the idea that the fellow may have gone there on purpose. He approaches, but the man makes no indication of having noticed this.
* * * * *
Dave stalls the God of Dentures for a moment while he can figure out an escape plan of some kind.
"Um... just give me a sec to open an exit, just in case."
"Very well."
[Dave's affinity roll: 4]
And with surprisingly few problems or difficulty, Dave's mind, which has been woefully inflexible for these tasks beforehand, calls into being a vortex! Although he supposes it's more of a portal on this side - outside of it he can see quite a few things - a street, for one. He thinks, at least. It's been some time.
"Are you ready now? It is a tad claustrophobic being here underneath this mantle, although I do appreciate the slight booze reserves, on a positive note."
The fungal shadows begin to gibber at the god incomprehensibly to Dave, presumably begging for it not to escape from the planet it is imprisoned in.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER tries to reassure the bartender.
"Oh, don't worry. I'm just trying to entertain myself. I'll put the booze back in the bottles once I'm done."
The bartender does not seem reassured, perhaps out of a skepticism for the continued well-being of the bottles. But he'll see - that's for certain! THE DUNKER begins to try and figure out how to make the bottles of booze unscrew themselves to let the contents out, but it seems a more complicated task than surmised, and the orbit is maintained, the booze within the bottles sloshing around dangerously.
And after a few minutes of that, two women arrive - one's the donut shop lady, the other one looks like an art teacher with quite possibly the stupidest scarf THE DUNKER's ever seen. He seems to have been the first to notice this among his group - the rest appear to be far more concerned with one another. Hungry Pete's evidently noticed them as well, judging from the suspicious look he's giving them. And before he can do anything, Pete's already walked up to them, seemingly intent on giving them the same spiel as to you.
* * * * *
John decides to trust Menkau - after all, not like he's had experience with the fellow having ill-considered plans with unforeseen consequences.
"You know what, I think I'm just going to trust you on this. I've seen you do pretty impressive stuff before. Alright James, all aboard the cow train," he says, and ducks as Menkau raises his robe, hiding beneath it - James follows suit, and both find themselves in Menkau's rather warm and fuzzy embrace, though the sudden feeling of safety they would experience is slightly marred by the way there is no way to properly ignore the way Menkau seems to have a rather large udder in there as well, uncomfortably hairless and warm to the touch. Menkau also smells rather cowlike, though this is not that much of an issue.
So John and James synchronize their steps with Menkau, and walk onward, the structure of the mancow shifting a little along the way inexplicably. They then need to collectively duck at one point, followed by another two minutes of walking while under the robe, at which point Menkau lets them out. They seem to be within the closed-off area right now, the police line left some distance behind them, complete with rather unfazed policemen who don't even seem to be looking their way.
"See! No questions asked whatsoever!" Menkau says.
* * * * *
Eta, after her surprisingly uneventful confession to, um, Ivette, follows her toward Jew Street.
Jew Street, it should be noted, used to be part of an urban neighborhood - there's a few short, stumpy apartment buildings still hanging on from that time, looking rather dilapidated and unsightly with their late-60s no-nonsense design. Most have been torn down, however, making way for smaller, though much better maintained houses, and a few more seemingly in the process of being built. Such as the one they're currently passing, which seems to be host to a party of some sort. After walking up and down the rather short street, Eta and Ivette return back to it.
"Well, seems like this is the place."
As they head inside, passing an adolescent boy passed out on the porch next to a giggling girl currently drawing elaborate swastikas amidst flowers on his face, they see an altogether more lively atmosphere, for a given definition of lively - a colorful crowd is inside the Malloy-McCoy, including a few yuppies, some military-looking guys, a few women in their thirties, a couple of street thugs having fun, a lot of teenagers and a couple more - the place is pretty packed. And right at the bar, there's a host of people. A shaggy bartender in a welder's mask. The fat man from the donut shop, wearing a dusty suit and currently with a bunch of bottles freely orbiting around him. Two girls, one short in a flowery dress, the other tall and wearing a tracksuit. One ginger man quietly drinking some issue away. And Joan, being rather boisterous toward the previous three, and more than a little drunk.
Before the two can approach, however, they are approached in turn - by a man, skinny and wild-eyed, probably in his forties, and very much excited. He speaks to Eta immediately, arms open in a welcoming gesture, seemingly paying no mind at all to Ivette.
"Welcome, pilgrim! I see you travel in the company of an unenlightened one. You have the power, do you not?" he says rather quietly, his voice carrying an undertone of mild delirium.
"Excuse me?" Ivette asks, raising an eyebrow.
"I refer to the lady you walk with," the man says. "Hungry Pete, at your service," he bows respectfully.
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 23, 2014, 07:29:59 am
She waved at the obese gentlemen to alert him of her presence, just in case she required help with dealing with Pete.
"Pilgrims? On which journey? What do you mean 'enlightened'? And... what exactly are you hungry for, if you don't mind me asking?"
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 23, 2014, 07:56:07 am
"Pilgrims? On which journey? What do you mean 'enlightened'? And... what exactly are you hungry for, if you don't mind me asking?"
"You are in the possession of the gifts of God, I believe. You may have even touched one of the fingers of God, from the looks of you. The journey is one we all take, to find our way and prepare for the end times. And as to what I am hungry for, I would say revelation. What is your name, pilgrim?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 23, 2014, 09:12:44 am
Go through the vortex if anything goes wrong.
Post by: lawastooshort on August 23, 2014, 11:05:55 am
"Hello there! How do you like the inside of a vortex?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 23, 2014, 11:10:54 am
Hail the fellow.
"Hello there! How do you like the inside of a vortex?"
"Kind of meh so far," the man goes, not turning his head your way.
Post by: Pancaek on August 23, 2014, 12:41:42 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 23, 2014, 12:50:42 pm
"Huh, impressive. Do you do anything to make them ignore your presence or do non-magically inclined people just tend to not notice you? Anyway, I suppose we need to go down into the sewers now?"
"They don't at all when I shift a little for maximum effect, but usually I just appear to be... unobtrusive, shall we say! And yes! To the sewers! Try and smell the leyline yourself, however. The leyline is not too far from the pawn shop, I believe, but closer than that I can't really say."
Post by: Pancaek on August 23, 2014, 12:55:33 pm
Venture into the sewers! Try and smell/sense the location of the leyline and search it out
Post by: Toaster on August 23, 2014, 01:09:44 pm
Go back to my apartment and sleeeeeeeep.
Post by: Xantalos on August 23, 2014, 01:33:48 pm
Ah, you've arrived, perfect! Don't worry, Pete, you'll have plenty of time to preach to them. If you'll follow me, please?
The DUNKER begins heading toward the bar again, with the intention of introducing them to his drunk wizard friends.
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 23, 2014, 06:55:59 pm
"You are in the possession of the gifts of God, I believe. You may have even touched one of the fingers of God, from the looks of you. The journey is one we all take, to find our way and prepare for the end times. And as to what I am hungry for, I would say revelation. What is your name, pilgrim?"He doesn't look very trustworthy. Not to mention sane. Yet he seems to know things. A dangerous combination. I should be careful about what I say to him.
"My name is Eta. How did you gain that knowledge?" Eta said a bit defensively.
Stop manipulating the booze and out it down on the counter before waddling up to the arrivals.Still as irresponsible as when I met him. I'm surprised the hotel's security didn't hand him over to the police.
Ah, you've arrived, perfect! Don't worry, Pete, you'll have plenty of time to preach to them. If you'll follow me, please?
The DUNKER begins heading toward the bar again, with the intention of introducing them to his drunk wizard friends.
"Hello. I take it you managed to talk your way out of that misunderstanding with the hotel's security?"
Post by: Xantalos on August 24, 2014, 12:26:27 am
((I'm pretty sure I just killed grammar somehow.))
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 24, 2014, 08:27:12 am
What misunderstanding? he says, pausing."Well, the receptionist told me you were in the backroom and after what happened earlier I thought... You know what, never mind. Let's just go."
((I'm pretty sure I just killed grammar somehow.))
Eta follows THE DUNKER.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 24, 2014, 09:44:49 am
What misunderstanding? he says, pausing."Well, the receptionist told me you were in the backroom and after what happened earlier I thought... You know what, never mind. Let's just go."
((I'm pretty sure I just killed grammar somehow.))
Eta follows THE DUNKER.
The three of you walk up to the rest of the people at the bar. The two girls are the first to notice your arrival, turning to face you.
"Hey, who are you two?" the pretty girl asks.
"Uh, I think they're Joanie's friends. Wasn't she waiting for them?" the taller one says.
"Hi, I'm Ivette! Pleased to meet you," Officer Rieux says oddly perkily, to which the two girls nod while sipping a drink each, and the other two people - Joan and Nigel, it seems, turn to look at you as well.
"Hey! Responsible lady! And responsible lady's friend! I think?" she says, rather terribly drunk from the looks of it.
"Hi!" Officer Rieux repeats, waving to Joan, who waves right back and laughs to herself.
"Hello," says the man, looking a bit miserable.
Post by: Xantalos on August 24, 2014, 11:16:58 am
So, we're all here? Good, let's go before the sobriety level drops any further.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 24, 2014, 12:46:03 pm
DUNKER nods.
So, we're all here? Good, let's go before the sobriety level drops any further.
"Go where?"
"Righting wrongs and investigating crimes, that's where! Let's move!"
"You still haven't paid for your drinks, I should note."
"Put it on our tabs! Wherever we're going, it's only going to take a couple hours, and then we'll be right back!"
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 24, 2014, 02:26:25 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 24, 2014, 02:29:23 pm
"Hi everyone! I'm Eta. Where are we going?"
"To Lower Esplanade! There are crimes that need to be solved! I'll explain on the way!" Joan says, jumping off her stool, stumbling a little upon landing, then motioning with her hand for everyone to follow. Nigel finishes his drink, and so do the two other girls, and all of them step away from the bar as well.
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 24, 2014, 02:50:34 pm
Not the reason I'm here, but this could be interesting.
"What do you say? Should we go with them?" she asked "Ivette" to ensure she had no problem with this.
Wordlessly offer to support Joan so that she can walk. While doing so, try to point my familiar mark at her without anyone noticing, to see if anything happens.
Post by: Xantalos on August 24, 2014, 03:05:51 pm
Pay for drink and accompany posse. To the suburbs or wherever we were going!
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 24, 2014, 03:32:20 pm
"Ok..."
Not the reason I'm here, but this could be interesting.
"What do you say? Should we go with them?" she asked "Ivette" to ensure she had no problem with this.
Wordlessly offer to support Joan so that she can walk. While doing so, try to point my familiar mark at her without anyone noticing, to see if anything happens.
The familiar mark fails to react in any way. It also seems to have become less the glowing eye of before and more like a work of scarification, though it still moves, unsettlingly enough.
"Well, of course, Eta! Gosh, it'd be rude not to!"
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 24, 2014, 03:49:59 pm
Let's go!
"So, what are the rest of your names? I don't believe we've ever met before."
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 24, 2014, 04:00:47 pm
"So, what are the rest of your names? I don't believe we've ever met before."
The two girls are the first to reply, though you do have to confirm that it's them you're talking to.
"I'm Shauna. She's Raven. We're both friends of Joanie's. In a manner of speaking."
"Uh, yeah, that's right."
The ginger man is the next one to speak, although you do need to repeat the question to him before he hears.
"Me? I'm Nigel. You were Eta. And the other one's..." he speaks a little distantly.
"Ivette!"
"I see. I'm a friend of Joanie's, sort of."
Joanie, who's been listening, turns her head back to look at the rest of the group.
"Why does being my friend always come with a qualifier? It's a bit insulting, I tell you what!" she laughs.
Post by: Xantalos on August 24, 2014, 05:53:13 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 26, 2014, 08:26:12 am
"Yeah, sure."
It is less than dramatic, needless to say. But it seems the Denture God does not seem to mind overmuch.
"Well, okay. Watch your head."
And in the endless darkness beneath him, a clack is emitted, massive beyond belief to the point where it shakes the very mold around Dave. It is followed by a chorus of smaller clacks, and then by a grand grinding, then a sudden, explosive expansion that blasts, well, everything away - dim, pinkish light slips in through the cracks as Dave blasts off, along with vast pieces of land, though he seems to be rather unharmed in the process. He can observe other pieces of his own planet fly off with him - a section of chimneys and hogweed rooted into mold, a castle of some sort, a few panicking underwear herders on some fragments - nobody appears to be dying, oddly enough. Even the fungal shapeshifters Dave can see are still shifting and twitching in the air as the Denture God breaks free. And as he flies away, he beholds the entity upon which he built the planet.
It's a little odd, goes without saying. A morass of swirling rows of false teeth, interconnecting in a web of dentures of many varying sizes and origins - not just human teeth are present, either, but prosthetic mastication and incision organs of a wide variety of creatures, some of them possibly not even found on Earth. It looks sort of like somebody took the concept of your average Azathoth lookalike, then replaced tentacles with gum and tooth rows, with several additional tooth-related features. Though at the center of it, Dave does notice, very dimly, a silhouette of some kind - humanoid, recognizable.
The shards of Dave's planet seem to reach an apex as their flight slows down, possibly due to air resistance, but they do not begin to fall down afterward. Instead, they simply stick around at a certain distance from the Denture God, forming an outer, permeable shell of slowly orbiting mold. Dave seems to be on one of the innermost fragments of mold right now, he notes.
"Well, that wasn't so bad, I guess. Didn't seem to kill anyone," the Denture God says, sounding a little fresher and energetic than previously. "So, Dave, you seem like you'd have an idea, so tell me - what'd I miss? What's going on? Where'd that planet come from, exactly? And what's up with the pig-leg?"
* * * * *
John, James and Menkau, after making sure nobody's definitely following them, venture deeper inside the ruins of central Lower Esplanade. The trek is rather uneventful, though they do notice and seemingly are noticed by a beaver or two hiding out in the ruins, looking for places to dam from the looks of it. One in particular flees at the sight of Menkau, running straight through a nearby wall with no trouble at all, causing an already partially collapsed building fall apart entirely.
Eventually, the group manage to reach a manhole, despite both John and James hoping that Menkau might have been mistaken and meant a storm drain instead. But alas, into the sewage it is, apparently. The three people manage to get the cover off with some doing, and John is the first to descend, only to find out several things quite quickly.
Firstly, sewer tunnels are really goddamn small. John thinks he'd need to crawl to get anywhere in there. He can only think this because he can't exactly confirm it except by touch, since even with the manhole open and the streetlights partly shining into the sewer it's still mostly pitch black down there, which is the second thing he notices. And the third thing, which he only becomes aware of once he gets to the bottom, is that not only does the sewer smell quite a lot like you'd expect sewage to smell like, and that not only are there... things floating down there, there's the matter of it becoming a little hard to breathe down there, and John doesn't really harbor many illusions for the tunnels themselves, especially, since he'd need to get on his hands and knees to explore in there.
On the bright side, he thinks he does sort of sense something down the sewer tunnel - it's some distance away, but he does sense it - it's definitely a leyline. He couldn't sense a thing from above ground, not that he's an expert or anything, but down here it's easier to do that, even if it's more difficult to do everything else.
* * * * *
The many Larries all unify in their desire to go home now, and head back home - a couple immediately go to bed, and the rest get there in about two to three hours, though one Larry is suspiciously lost contact with, and the rest of the Larries have vivid nightmares - the same nightmare, in fact - afterwards. But they all - or rather, the only Larry currently extant, now that the water's effects have fully subsided - wake up in the next morning, rather happy that what they experienced seems to have just been a crazy dream of some kind.
Now it is a new day! And he's got eldritch beings to hunt!
* * * * *
The grand group of Eta, Ivette, THE DUNKER, Joanie, Shauna, Raven and Nigel head out of the bar after everyone except Joanie pays for what they've drunk. Together, they head out into the street, chatting along the way about a variety of subjects.
"So, um, I wanted to ask, are you all, like, witches? Or is it wizards?" Ivette asks at one point, about thirty minutes into the walk.
"Hell yeah, we're all wizards! Wizards and proud!" Joanie shouts as they proceed along the darkened areas of Jew Street.
"Uh, Joanie, maybe we shouldn't, like, flaunt it, you know?" Raven says unsurely, glancing about.
"Screw the haters! We're gods among people, I tell you. Ain't nobody in this world who can stop us, nobody!"
"Not before it's too late," Nigel says a little sarcastically.
"Exactly!"
"Why do you ask, Ivette?" Shauna says curiously.
"Well, you know, magic's, like, totally sweet, right..." Ivette replies coyly.
"Damn straight!" Joanie hollers.
"And it's useful, too, you know..."
"Sometimes."
"Always!"
"And I was talking with Eta, and I thought, well, where do I sign up? You know what I'm saying?"
"Aw yeah! Who's got a spare magic-thing? Anyone?" Joanie asks as they walk along the street. Nigel, Shauna and Raven all shake their heads. Just ahead of them seems to be a police line, guarded by several officers of the law. Noticing them makes Ivette a little nervous, it seems.
THE DUNKER, meanwhile, feels an odd poking sensation at the back of his head, and the pseudo-Joanie voice in his mind rings out soon after that.
~Hey, fat dude. Wanna be a masterful magical man? Impress the ladies? I may have something for ya.~
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 26, 2014, 08:45:54 am
"Magic thing? You mean a ritual object? You don't have any ritual objects with you? Then how do you get new spells? Does your spell granting ritual not require an object? I thought only that man could gain spells without having to carry a specialized ritual object." Eta said, pointing at THE DUNKER. ((I think I've never been given THE DUNKER's name IC, that's why I keep referring to him as "that man".))
Post by: Toaster on August 26, 2014, 08:49:52 am
He did remember where he was, right?
He should probably also text Halesey, but eh, he'll get around to that.
See if I can find the Green Pancake Guy again. If so, go knock on his door.
((Speaking of Halesey, we're very roughly time synced, right? I think he went to the next day too before looking for his acolytes.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 26, 2014, 08:53:45 am
Eta's scientific (or was it unscientific?) curiosity got the better of her, focusing on questioning the other's reaction instead of Ivette's.
"Magic thing? You mean a ritual object? You don't have any ritual objects with you? Then how do you get new spells? Does your spell granting ritual not require an object? I thought only that man could gain spells without having to carry a specialized ritual object." Eta said, pointing at THE DUNKER. ((I think I've never been given THE DUNKER's name IC, that's why I keep referring to him as "that man".))
"Well, we've got our magic things, duh," says Joanie. "At least I hope we do!" she adds, looking over at her other friends. "But it'd be really damn inconvenient to share a magic-thing, you know? I mean, I give her Archie, and then she'll ask me to share it all the time. And I don't wanna share Archie! He's my friend, you know?"
"I hear that," Ivette affirms and nods as the group slows down. The others don't see fit to say much apart from agreeing with what Joanie says at varying volumes of murmur. Well, aside from the fat g- er, that man, who seems rather thoughtful at the moment.
((Speaking of Halesey, we're very roughly time synced, right? I think he went to the next day too before looking for his acolytes.))
Roughly, yes.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 26, 2014, 09:20:42 am
"Well as I said before some dingus trapped me here and while trying to escape the horrible pain I accidentally turned my head into a small clown and my leg into a pig. I got rid of the clown a while back but I'm fond of this guy. I named him Charles! As for the planet I got really pissed and cast all my spells as one spell but that apparently summoned a planet inhabited by mold abominations and incredibly violent underwear. Then the voice in my head told me to poke you with my mind and here we are."
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 26, 2014, 11:02:36 am
((Due to being in denture hell I have no idea how much time has passed. Also I blacked out and clowns don't need sleep.))
"Well as I said before some dingus trapped me here and while trying to escape the horrible pain I accidentally turned my head into a small clown and my leg into a pig. I got rid of the clown a while back but I'm fond of this guy. I named him Charles! As for the planet I got really pissed and cast all my spells as one spell but that apparently summoned a planet inhabited by mold abominations and incredibly violent underwear. Then the voice in my head told me to poke you with my mind and here we are."
"Sweet. You think you can make a planet again? Maybe a small moon or something? What spells have you got?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 26, 2014, 11:26:49 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 26, 2014, 11:37:41 am
Eta approached Ivette.
"If you really want magic, then I could share some of my matches with you. However, you have to realise that magic is highly random and probably very dangerous. You could do anything with it, sometimes even by accident. I accidentally created a human once, complete with knowledge and emotions. And as far as I know, there is no way of getting the magic out of you. You can replace the spells you get with new ones, you can stop getting spells altogether if you stop performing the spell granting ritual, but you can never get rid of them. The power will always be there, however powerful or ridiculous it might be. So, are you sure you want to do this?"
Post by: Xantalos on August 26, 2014, 12:26:29 pm
DUNKER turns to "Ivette".
Your friend's pretty much right in this. Don't think you can get rid of it, but then again there's not much reason to.
Oh, and I'm the DUNKER, he says to Henrietta. Could I have your name? Maybe then I'll stop forgetting you and I interacted at one point.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 26, 2014, 02:04:14 pm
"Maybe. I get the feeling that was incredibly unlikely though. Plus I replaced most of my spells. Want me to try. It'll take a while to prepare."
"Well, sure. I mean, I guess anything at all can happen, but what have I got to lose?"
"Archie? Who's Ar-... Wait. Never mind. That's not important right now. But sometime one of you is going to have to tell me where you find those ritual objects. Because the man who gave me mine was handing them out like candy."
Eta approached Ivette.
"If you really want magic, then I could share some of my matches with you. However, you have to realise that magic is highly random and probably very dangerous. You could do anything with it, sometimes even by accident. I accidentally created a human once, complete with knowledge and emotions. And as far as I know, there is no way of getting the magic out of you. You can replace the spells you get with new ones, you can stop getting spells altogether if you stop performing the spell granting ritual, but you can never get rid of them. The power will always be there, however powerful or ridiculous it might be. So, are you sure you want to do this?"
"Well, he's got a lot of experience giving out samples, I guess," Joanie laughs. "Besides, I think he had, like, one follower until recently, so there's that."
"Uh, it's kind of why I came along, isn't it?" Ivette says to you.
~Yeah sure!~
DUNKER turns to "Ivette".
Your friend's pretty much right in this. Don't think you can get rid of it, but then again there's not much reason to.
Oh, and I'm the DUNKER, he says to Henrietta. Could I have your name? Maybe then I'll stop forgetting you and I interacted at one point.
~Take out a donut from your box, make a magical-looking gesture over it. Exact gesture doesn't matter. Maybe do it while staring at it knowingly. Imagine you have a kickass beard while doing it. And it is thus that your gimmick will be spread!~
"I guess I'm ready! I think I'm reasonably mature, you know?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 26, 2014, 02:33:04 pm
Post by: Toaster on August 26, 2014, 03:07:20 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 26, 2014, 03:13:16 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 26, 2014, 04:08:31 pm
~Yeah sure!~What a peculiar name... Then again, who am I to judge?
DUNKER turns to "Ivette".
Your friend's pretty much right in this. Don't think you can get rid of it, but then again there's not much reason to.
Oh, and I'm the DUNKER, he says to Henrietta. Could I have your name? Maybe then I'll stop forgetting you and I interacted at one point.
"Henrietta R. Hippo. Eta for short. Pleased to formally make your acquaintance."
((Non-insane people can only think in three and I lost my clown.))((I could see this expression becoming slang.
"Hey dude, what took you so long?"
"Sorry. Long story. I lost my clown, man."))
Post by: Xantalos on August 26, 2014, 04:10:09 pm
~Will anything happen, or...?~
Try the donut gesture thing out. Make an enigmatic face.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 26, 2014, 05:18:08 pm
"Okay then." said Eta to Ivette as she turned around so that her back was turned to the police officers. "If what my experiments have shown me is correct, then this will take about a minute. You're going to face a challenge. Hard, stressful one, probably." She searched her purse until she found her magic matchbox and removed a match. "Might even hear a voice in your head. So, try to relax, get ready and when I strike the match, look into its flames. Tell me when you're ready."
"Well, I-wait, what's he doing?" Ivette asks, looking at THE DUNKER, who seems to be performing a round of enigmatic wizardry on a donut while the others watch.
Indeed.
~Will anything happen, or...?~
Try the donut gesture thing out. Make an enigmatic face.
You wiggle your fingers and make a few twitching, arthritic gestures at one of your donuts - the change, if there indeed is one, is not very obvious, but you've put on your mystic face and your crazy eyes, which seems to work just as well, as everyone seems to look your way as you do it.
"Huh. Whatever you're trying to do, it looks kind of interesting," Joanie says.
"It's not going to explode, is it?"
"If it is, I hope it's a fun explosion."
~It's not going to explode, in case you're wondering. Just feed it to someone who doesn't have magic, like the interested woman. Tell her it'll make it work without dependence on other people's resources, hopefully. I wanna see how well it works on her. It should be perfect for her, I think, but you never know.~
"Uh, I know this is gonna sound silly, but are you making some kind of wizard donut?" Ivette asks of you, snapping you out of the consideration of the pastry in your hand. You dare say donuts look a bit tastier when you've nearly slipped into a trance trying to magic them up.
Post by: Xantalos on August 26, 2014, 06:03:54 pm
Subtly shift behind someone if she accepts. Can't be too careful.
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 26, 2014, 06:15:48 pm
((Wonder what would happen if you ate it. Probably not a good idea, but still.))
Post by: Xantalos on August 26, 2014, 06:17:35 pm
((That's what he'll do if Ivette or whatever the police spy's name is refuses.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 26, 2014, 06:35:15 pm
A donut-addicted wizard, to be more accurate. Want it? It should give you magic without dependence on the resources we have to use. It shouldn't explode.
Subtly shift behind someone if she accepts. Can't be too careful.
"Huh," she says, examining the donut. "That's... cool, I guess!"
She is about to take a bite out of it, but then she looks at you, then at the others.
"This isn't some kind of weird prank, like a wizard hazing ritual or something, right?" she asks doubtfully. You shake your head and simultaneously shimmy surreptitiously behind Nigel. He's not a very good form of cover, you discover, considering you're both wider and taller than he is. But you'll probably make a good cushion if he's blasted toward you.
"If it's a hazing ritual, that guy's way more creative than I give him credit for," Joanie says.
"Besides, magic is a hazing ritual in and of itself," Shauna adds, and Joanie laughs, as is her habit. Ivette looks over at Eta, shrugs a little apologetically, then takes a hearty bite out of the donut, chewing it thoroughly, when she suddenly flips. You can see it in her eyes, when she stops chewing and just starts looking into the distance.
"Shit, look at that! She's getting spells! Isn't it cute?"
A moment passes.
"Hm. Do I look as stupid while I'm conferring?" Joanie tilts her head.
"Not as stupid, I guess. You make way sillier faces," Nigel observes, pointing at Ivette, still standing there dumbly.
"Oh, you've seen them, too?" Shauna laughs, and Raven sort of nervously chuckles as well.
"Yeah, well, fuck you, too!" Joanie replies, also laughing, though more out of reflex than camaraderie.
And then Ivette snaps out of it, blinking a few times before swallowing the bite.
"Um. Huh. That happened, I guess," she says confusedly. "Is becoming God for a moment, er, normal? And what's a regular spell supposed to be like?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 26, 2014, 06:43:01 pm
"I have no idea. I usually have to find a way to light the darkness and another wizard I talked to actually had to write spells down as people shouted them. As for what spells are normal, I kinda stopped questioning that when I got the spell 'Transform Dinosaur into Intriguing Hat'. After a while, the questions become so many you just focus on answering the important ones. But hey, I've been a wizard for only a day or so, so what do I know?"
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Xantalos on August 26, 2014, 06:51:37 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 26, 2014, 07:14:11 pm
"I have no idea. I usually have to find a way to light the darkness and another wizard I talked to actually had to write spells down as people shouted them. As for what spells are normal, I kinda stopped questioning that when I got the spell 'Transform Dinosaur into Intriguing Hat'. After a while, the questions become so many you just focus on answering the important ones. But hey, I've been a wizard for only a day or so, so what do I know?"
"Oh. So they're supposed to be this wonky?"
"You know it!"
"Did you get Goodify?"
"Um, no. Ghostify. Ghostify Mold, whatever that means."
"I got 'Transform Into Indestructible Hamburger', if that helps. And that was, uh, the most useful-sounding one, let's say. I... don't know if it works."
"I can displace tuberculosis and summon racist potatoes. The second one works, and that's all I'll say about the matter."
No idea. Was it an adventure of sorts or something? What color was the voice?
"I got a... grayish vibe from it? I don't know what that means, I guess, but I'd say grayish. And yeah, I suppose it was an adventure as well. Kind of fun, I guess. Does it work again?" she asks, then takes another bite immediately, her eyes rolling into the back of her head within moments. And you would say the donut still has a good two more bites left in it, judging from the weak chomping ability and insistence on chewing that Ivette seems to be going for.
"Taking to it like a fish to water! She's not mine, but I'm proud no less!"
"Almost enough to melt even your stone heart."
This episode takes noticeably longer, and she stumbles back a little, looking wide-eyed.
"Okay, it gets crazier. I know that now. Hah. Yeah. Adventure. Voice is definitely grayish, I think. It makes more sense if you try to actively hear the color! Yeah! And in other news, I can apparently now empathize with hookers."
She seems to be trying to power through her confusion with sheer acceptance. Joanie sees fit to intervene in this time of discovery.
"Right, so, that's fun! But let's move on! Anybody got a plan on how to get past that police line?" Joanie asks, pointing at the officers down the street.
Post by: Xantalos on August 26, 2014, 07:18:11 pm
Cast House of Self-Replicating Dentures on a spot nearby the cops![/b
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on August 27, 2014, 03:28:00 am
"Kind of meh so far," the man goes, not turning his head your way.
((apologies for being slightly absent))
”What? Are you a mentalist?” Halesey is unsure what to do in the face of such cynici- ah! Of the Three Minor Followers, he is surely The Cynic!
”Why, what’s so meh about it, dude? Do you want to touch my Holy Potato instead? Most people are terrified by the vortex, so I am beginning to wonder if you are touched by the grace of the Potato God – touching my potato would surely show if this is the case. This is not a euphemism, incidentally.”
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 27, 2014, 04:20:14 am
”What? Are you a mentalist?” Halesey is unsure what to do in the face of such cynici- ah! Of the Three Minor Followers, he is surely The Cynic!
”Why, what’s so meh about it, dude? Do you want to touch my Holy Potato instead? Most people are terrified by the vortex, so I am beginning to wonder if you are touched by the grace of the Potato God – touching my potato would surely show if this is the case. This is not a euphemism, incidentally.”
"Eh. Give it here, I guess."
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 27, 2014, 05:23:41 am
I don't want to be trapped in another pit.
Post by: lawastooshort on August 27, 2014, 05:26:54 am
With this, Halesey reveals his naked chest!
((I am not 100% sure I have remembered this Potatoing process correctly))
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 27, 2014, 06:24:58 am
”Are you Canadian or something? Er, anyway, as far as I recall – which is pretty far, actually, but not very clear – the Three Holy Potatoes are in my chest, and if you are one of the Chosen, the Holy Potato that is best suited to you will leap non-fatally out of my chest and meld with your mind in such a way that you see and feel the Truth. Open your mind and beware!”
He looks at you.
"Sort of. And couldn't hurt, I guess."
As you bare your chest to the man, he is nonplussed up until the moment when the filthy, disorderly potato slowly exits it, flesh at first bulging, then parting as the potato gets out, and proceeds toward your soon-to-be apprentice. At this point he raises an eyebrow and calmly snatches the potato out of the air.
"Hm," he says when the potato disappears into his hand. "That feels a little weird, I guess."
He proceeds to stare at his hand for a good minute or so, then looks back at you.
"Eh, I guess that's okay. Is that all?"
Post by: lawastooshort on August 27, 2014, 06:49:32 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 27, 2014, 08:17:23 am
”Erm, yes, that’s all for now – the Potato God has chosen you, so that’s nice. Would you describe yourself as filthy and disorderly? Just wondering, won’t affect your chosenness. So – you want to come back to Earth and find the other two apprentices now, and then go see the Potato God, or do you want to try and learn some spells first? Oh yes, what’s your name?”
"Cadwallader, and I think I'll just go off and do my own thing. You don't seem like you'd be any help."
Post by: lawastooshort on August 27, 2014, 09:46:49 am
Halesey did like the cut of this wandering wastrel’s jib, but he had a Holy Mission to fulfil, and was not afraid of extreme violence. His voice took on the full breadth and depth of the Potato, and continued, booming forth:
”However, God has instructed me to bring those that the Potatoes choose to Him. Yon Potato chose you; I have seen the power of God, and I would rather die than disappoint His Power. Cast aside your Fear, Cadwallader: visit God with me, and I shall let you be on your way. What say you?”
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 27, 2014, 09:56:24 am
”Hohoho! I like the cut of your jib, Cadwallader.”
Halesey did like the cut of this wandering wastrel’s jib, but he had a Holy Mission to fulfil, and was not afraid of extreme violence. His voice took on the full breadth and depth of the Potato, and continued, booming forth:
”However, God has instructed me to bring those that the Potatoes choose to Him. Yon Potato chose you; I have seen the power of God, and I would rather die than disappoint His Power. Cast aside your Fear, Cadwallader: visit God with me, and I shall let you be on your way. What say you?”
"How about I visit God without you? And you just go out the potato hole?"
Post by: lawastooshort on August 28, 2014, 02:00:47 am
Cast Hairy Mafiosi Barrier! Then, in a fit of pique, cast Potato Vortex once in each of the Eight Cardinal and Ordinal Holy Potato Directions whilst swivelling on my heals and at a distance of 20 feet from me!
Whilst casting, cry thus amongst the maelstrom!
”Why don’t you just fucking well do as you’re told, Nigel?”
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 28, 2014, 05:15:51 pm
Minutes pass. The door does not open.
* * * * *
Dave, not sure he can make lightning strike twice, but sure as hell eager to try. He starts picturing each one of his spells, putting them together in his mind as he considers the possibility of casting them at once.
Storms of underwear of the distracting sort, vortexes filled with dentures, or perhaps gates to reality, all interwoven with thoughts of hookers and enchanted ghosts of angels. Earthy barriers of smut and rivers of thylacines, the Undulating Porcelain Gremlin Kings invading and claiming dominion over the creatures that dwell on the moon in question, and literally everything in between as the elements lock in with each other in three-dimensional space. Everything begins to fit together in Dave's mind, a unified picture starting to form as he considers the format of the next casting of his spell. This is going to be a fun one, he suspects, unless he fucks it up along the way in some critical manner. Reality is about to get a wonderful little dose of Dave, this is becoming increasingly clear.
* * * * *
It is indeed fortuitous that these wizards of ill repute have found an acquaintance in THE DUNKER, for one such as he is nothing if not incredibly distracting. A single magical finger pointed, a single mighty beard imagined, his thoughts composed and the magic flowing, he tries to bring forth the grim power of the house of self-replicating dentures!
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 6-->6+1]
And as the ground near the police begins to vibrate, they seem to be a tad disturbed. Eta, sensing that what's about to happen could turn out in virtually any way, steps away from her position nervously as she considers the probability of a pit suddenly appearing beneath her feet again. It is probably higher than she thinks, she concludes, keeping herself on the move just in case, if only to assuage her instinct of flight.
The asphalt coating the road breaks, and teeth begin to emerge. Large, impressive teeth, ones that you would be unashamed to put in your mouth if not for the fact that they were also quite impressively coated in dirt and sewage. The leading sets of teeth, seemingly clumped together in a spire, break through the ground, widening at the base until reaching a certain point. At this exact same time, the asphalt in five points that are regularly spaced around the central spire, the closest but five meters away from the wizard himself, breaks as well, producing yet more spires. The group, THE DUNKER excepted, all back away as his creation takes shape, revealing itself like an immense, alien batholith pushed up from the bowels of the earth by forces unknown. The spires push away the surrounding ruins, or worse, swallow them entirely as they rise upward. The spires are strange affairs - their roofs are shingled with teeth, the walls look like fleshy gums, the windows along the walls like open, false mouths, horizontal for the central spire, but vertical and slit-like for the outer ones, looking very sinister as they rise from the earth.
And then the pavement cracks once more in many places - the central spire widens to become a larger building, while the outer spires are evidently connected by an outer wall. Its upper part, which appears to be made entirely of large incisors, parts the asphalt as well. The house, or rather fortress of dentures rises further, revealing its front gate - a closed mouth with teeth that are longer than any the observers present have ever seen. As the base of the fortress rises about three meters above the rest of the landscape, the terrain all around it collapsing downward, creating a moat of sorts. At the front, right next to the gate, a drawbridge formed of a single prosthetic lower denture has taken shape, and as the castle finalizes its formation, it lowers itself elegantly before THE DUNKER, the gates it has hidden thus far also opening in a similar fashion.
The police are nowhere to be seen, and the castle currently is about the size of a city block, looming over the entire surrounding landscape rather threateningly with its faux-organic looks and massive construction.
"That's beautiful," says Hungry Pete from right behind Eta, scaring the living bejesus out of her with his sudden appearance.
* * * * *
Halesey, reacting rather violently to Cadwallader's continual insistence on going on his own way, begins to cast his go-to spell as he rants.
"Or, you know, how about you just stop being such a dongferret, dillweed? How exactly do you think you’re gonna find God, carrying on staring at the side of the vortex like it’s a stinking filthy navel?"
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->2]
In his rage, however, something goes wrong! Terribly wrong! A mafioso appears, he believes. But not where one could expect. He appears right in front of Halesey, somewhat blocking his view of Cadwallader. The hairy, large fellow seems to be asking a question of Halesey.
"Have you been payin' your dues lately?"
[Cadwallader's affinity roll: 1-->2+1]
Cadwallader, meanwhile, seems to be working on magic of his own.
"Huh," seems to be the only result Halesey can detect. It is a semi-disappointed, though still mainly apathetic "Huh".
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 28, 2014, 05:28:20 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 28, 2014, 05:54:56 pm
Eta instinctively jumps away.
"Don't sneak up on me like that! I've had meteors pass through my apartment that surprised me less!" she angrily protested.
That man needs a lesson in the concept of personal space.
She turned to look at the fortress.
And that man needs a lesson in responsibility. Scratch that, everybody here probably needs a lesson in that.
"That's one way to do it, I guess. Loudly. And scarily. Into the belly of the beast?"
She made a gesture towards the door.
Post by: Xantalos on August 28, 2014, 05:56:12 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 28, 2014, 06:04:51 pm
Post by: Toaster on August 28, 2014, 09:15:43 pm
...
...
Fuck it. He'd just leave a note. He heads down to the lobby and looks for a pen and paper to slide his cell number under the door.
Post by: Xantalos on August 28, 2014, 09:51:12 pm
((Am I misunderstanding things? Didn't the castle appear in the middle of the street we wanted to go through?))((Huh. I'm tired, so I think I misread. Have Eta make a comment about the DUNKER's weight being too much to squeeze past or something?))
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 29, 2014, 06:07:07 am
We're not going into the castle, that was a diversion."I don't think we could go around it. Let me check."
See if there is a way around the castle to... "Wait, where are we going, again?"
to wherever it is we're going.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 29, 2014, 06:21:27 am
"Gwah!"
Eta instinctively jumps away.
"Don't sneak up on me like that! I've had meteors pass through my apartment that surprised me less!" she angrily protested.
"My apologies! I sometimes get carried away when stalking people," Hungry Pete replies. "With luck, it won't happen next time."
We're not going into the castle, that was a diversion."I don't think we could go around it. Let me check."
See if there is a way around the castle to... "Wait, where are we going, again?"
to wherever it is we're going.
Fortunately, the empty moat surrounding the castle seems almost perfect as a detour - it's going to be a little bit of a climb to get out, but really that's less than bothersome by this point.
"We're going to the ruined neighborhood behind this awesome castle! For investigative purposes, see. Then maybe we can crash in the castle itself later, if we feel like it. Or maybe make ourselves a new castle! Limitless options here, really."
"Uh, how are we going to get out of here? I'm not really seeing any way this area won't be swarmed by police and other people soon."
"We'll figure that out when it comes to that!"
"Worst case scenario, we need to take a detour through denture central."
"That's... not a normal thing to happen, is it?" Ivette asks after a period of silence on her part.
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 29, 2014, 06:40:01 am
"That's... not a normal thing to happen, is it?" Ivette asks after a period of silence on her part."Which one? Creating a denture castle or using a denture detour?"
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 29, 2014, 06:42:06 am
"Oh, OK. Turns out we can go around it. Worst case scenario, someone summons something for us to climb.""That's... not a normal thing to happen, is it?" Ivette asks after a period of silence on her part."Which one? Creating a denture castle or using a denture detour?"
"More the castle, I guess. I mean, it looks totally awesome and all, but it's not a regular thing that all of you can do without effort, right?"
Post by: lawastooshort on August 29, 2014, 07:12:44 am
"Course I have, friend! Did he not get them yet?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 29, 2014, 07:19:26 am
"More the castle, I guess. I mean, it looks totally awesome and all, but it's not a regular thing that all of you can do without effort, right?""I don't think it takes any effort at all. Sometimes our spells are actually many times more powerful then we intend them to be. That's why we have to understand magic, why we have to use and distribute it responsibly and teach new wizards to do the same. Otherwise we end up with disasters like Dinosaur Rain and... well, whatever happened to this neighbourhood. Because if this keeps happening, we might end up with things like witch hunts, once people realize what's going on, and that would be very... unfortunate."
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 29, 2014, 02:47:50 pm
Halesey stared at the dude. This was not the right kind of barrier. His magic seemed to be getting affected by Nigel's rabid apathy!
"Course I have, friend! Did he not get them yet?"
"I suspect you're not being honest here, friend. Where's my money?"
"More the castle, I guess. I mean, it looks totally awesome and all, but it's not a regular thing that all of you can do without effort, right?""I don't think it takes any effort at all. Sometimes our spells are actually many times more powerful then we intend them to be. That's why we have to understand magic, why we have to use and distribute it responsibly and teach new wizards to do the same. Otherwise we end up with disasters like Dinosaur Rain and... well, whatever happened to this neighbourhood. Because if this keeps happening, we might end up with things like witch hunts, once people realize what's going on, and that would be very... unfortunate."
Ivette inhales nervously.
"I... see. That is... troubling! Kinda troubling, yeah! So, are we moving on or what?"
"I dunno. Are we done yapping? I wasn't paying attention."
"Can't we just talk on the way? I'm feeling kind of exposed over here."
"Uh, yeah, me, too."
"Me three, I guess."
"Let us go onward! To destiny!"
"How'd you get here, anyway?"
"I followed you, obviously!"
Post by: Pancaek on August 29, 2014, 04:08:05 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 29, 2014, 04:14:36 pm
"Darn, this place is pretty shitty. I'm not really looking forward to going in there. Is this really the only way to the leyline?" John asks, pulling out his handkerchief and holding it in front of his mouth and nose
"Unless you possess a jackhammer, probably!"
"Um, do I have to go in as well?" James asks as he follows you down the ladder, stopping midway.
Post by: Xantalos on August 29, 2014, 05:21:20 pm
Make way through the denture moat! Try not to get stuck.
Post by: Pancaek on August 29, 2014, 05:38:34 pm
-snip-"No, James, you don't have to follow me in there. Allright, Menkau, if anything happens you get me out of there. Please. I'm in no mood to die in a goddamned sewer. I'm just going to go take a peek then."
Crawl into the tunnel, try to ignore the filfth as best I can. Use my cellphone as a flashlight if it's too dark. Try and crawl towards the leyline
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 29, 2014, 07:30:30 pm
"You see? This is what I mean. They're like children." she whispered to Ivette before following the other wizards.
She approached Joanie next.
"So, you said you were working with some other 'master wizards', like Pillton. Is this little expedition related to them in any way?"
Follow.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 30, 2014, 01:22:23 pm
Fortunately for him, he's got a fertile imagination! With the image in his mind, Dave begins to invent brand new ways of extending it further still, many pieces of this puzzle of his beginning to fall into place as he considers the problem. He believes he may be reaching a certain level of mental capacity, since it slightly hurts to even think about the image he's got in his mind. All he can do right now is to keep it in place, and try not to think too hard about the implications of it all. If only he had something to jot all this down on. But he is as regrettably without pants or tools as always.
* * * * *
Larry, after banging on the door a few more times, heads over to the hotel's front desk, where the robot-thing still awaits him, looking as silly and directionless in life as ever. Its glassy eyes stare out at him, and Larry feels a pang of sadness for but a moment before he notices that there appears to be no pen or paper anywhere on the front desk, which seems to have a very minimalistic look.
This means, Larry realizes, that he needs to ask this thing before him for either of those things, probably. This is a distasteful avenue of action, and in other circumstances Larry would not ever lower himself to it. But right now, he may have no other choice. He must, to his regret, acknowledge that the creature before him is in some way a person. Humanize it. Find out something about it, rather than just leave without knowing anything at all or caring.
* * * * *
Having had enough of the yammering in plain sight, the group begin to move on, THE DUNKER leading the way as they enter the moat and circle around the castle.
On the way, Eta engages Joanie in some enlightening conversation.
"So, you said you were working with some other 'master wizards', like Pillton. Is this little expedition related to them in any way?"
"Exactamundo! You see, two of them are dead! Murdered! And someone's responsible!"
"Fat guy thought we should go look for who did it."
"And then do, like, justice and whatnot!"
"So... we're going to look for..."
"Suspicious things to bother, investigate and interrogate in the ruins! It is our first and only lead at the moment, since we have no idea about anything!"
"I see! That's good, I guess!"
"We're probably not going to find any-" Shauna begins to say, but the entire group stops in front of what looks like an open manhole. Two people are loitering in front of it - one young man with messy blond hair, and one oddly shrouded, taller individual wearing a wide-brimmed hat.
"Suspicious individuals loitering about in the dead of night," Joanie says in a mysterious voice.
"Next to an open sewer, no less."
* * * * *
John, after telling James that he can freely stay behind if he wants, an opportunity that James thankfully accepts while climbing right out, and asking Menkau to come help him if it seems like he may have drowned in sewage, something that Menkau solemnly promises to do if it occurs to him, descends fully into the terrible depths of the sewers, getting on his hands and knees while keeping his phone above the rather foul water to use as a flashlight. It helps a little bit, though not much, and slightly impedes his progress. Locking in on the leyline, John crawls onward.
[John's body roll: 2]
He crawls forward a bit, but the fact is, the cellphone impedes his crawling progress quite a bit, and the rather thin, nigh-unbreathable air is of no help, either. Feeling like he may be putting himself in danger, John crawls back, climbing a little bit up the ladder, taking several deep breaths.
If he wants to do this, he suspects he'll need to do it blindly, using only his magical sense to get there. Problem is, though, once he gets over to the leyline, how is he going to get out?
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on August 30, 2014, 01:29:50 pm
Post by: Xantalos on August 30, 2014, 03:38:55 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 30, 2014, 04:03:31 pm
Eta stepped forward to back up THE DUNKER, trying to look calm and relax.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 30, 2014, 04:17:09 pm
Hello, admittedly suspicious folk! Seen anything unusual recently?
"I did see a rather marvelous house of self-replicating dentures rise above the horizon just minutes before in the direction that you came from. And also one ornery unstoppable beaver when I came over here." the shrouded figure replies. There's something really off about him, you notice. "Have you noticed anything similarly amazing? Unusual things are my bag, actually, and I actively tend to seek them out. Hence why I'm here, obviously."
"You're pretty wordy, aren't you?"
"Always!"
"Yes, do you happen to know anything about the destruction of this neighborhood perhaps?"
Eta stepped forward to back up THE DUNKER, trying to look calm and relax.
"Oh, sure. It was the work of two teenagers, wizard types like all of you, with a death wish and a great deal of contempt for two people by the name of Mr. and Mrs. Lee, two rather good friends of mine. One of them summoned an invasion of unstoppable beavers that ruined this neighborhood, and then turned into a buffalo and stomped, I believe, both of them to death. It was quite grisly. Most of the collateral damage was quite incidental, but nevertheless pretty distressing for all the poor people living in this area. A sordid affair, all in all. Any other questions?"
Hungry Pete raises his hand.
"Yes?"
"Are you, perchance, the devil?"
"Oh, not at all. Why do you ask?"
Hungry Pete mumbles something and shakes his fist seemingly at himself.
"... would these two teenagers happen to be-"
"Trey and Luz? Why, yes! Would you like to hear what I did to them, mayhap? I'm not one to brag overmuch, but I do believe my solution was pretty clever. So, how about it? Wanna hear it? Come on!"
Shauna seems to have gone a little pale.
"I'm... not sure that I really do, to be honest."
Post by: Xantalos on August 30, 2014, 04:19:34 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 30, 2014, 04:43:22 pm
Oh please do, it's what we came out here for.
"Okay, see, I'd promised Mrs. Lee that I'd scare those two pesky kids straight, and I did! At least, that's what I thought at first. I even promised to torture them for eternity and rip their humanity from them forcibly through sustained physical and psychological assault over subjective infinities of time. I even gave them a short demonstration! But sadly they, being lovestruck teenagers that they were, did not feel very intimidated by this, as you may be able to tell. And I had no time or inclination to torture them for eternity, to be perfectly honest. Torture is a very distasteful thing to engage in, although there is a certain creative element to it that I can dig, you know? So what I figured out was, I turned Trey into an old woman, Luz into an old man, erased their original personalities and put in new ones that are guaranteed to despise each other - in fact, hard-coded to despise each other - and then put them in the same retirement home in the place of two elderly dementia sufferers that happened to be spitting images of their new forms. On the bright side, I did turn those two original dementia sufferers into perfectly functional young people. You know, do some good with the bad, that kind of thing. So now those two teenage lovebirds get to live out the rest of their lives in a care facility not knowing who they are, under the correct impression that they've forgotten, with families they don't recognize that visit once a year, and they despise each other for reasons they don't comprehend. I think I covered all the important bases in a self-sustaining manner, you see! No additional work needed, everything's delegated to unsuspecting participants, fire-and-forget nature of punishment... isn't it sweet?"
"I... guess it's something, all right," Joanie says, taken aback. Raven and Shauna do not seem to have anything to say, and are instead looking at each other with a bit of horror.
Post by: Xantalos on August 30, 2014, 04:57:13 pm
Seems fitting. Anyhow, what're you doing by this sewer?
Post by: Parisbre56 on August 30, 2014, 05:38:11 pm
Eta decided to keep her opinion to herself, given that the man could probably do the same to her... If he wasn't a crazy lier.
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 30, 2014, 05:50:04 pm
The DUNKER nods approvingly.
Seems fitting. Anyhow, what're you doing by this sewer?
"Waiting for my best friend, you know. The usual."
"I... So, you can just do all these things without effort? And, I don't mean to demean your work in any way, but isn't there a problem with that plan? What happens if they start casting spells again?"
Eta decided to keep her opinion to herself, given that the man could probably do the same to her... If he wasn't a crazy lier.
"Not without effort, of course! If it was effortless, it wouldn't be so cool when it works. It's work that needs attention, skill and dedication, you know? It's a bit easier if I take people into myself first, of course, but still, it takes a bit of time to plan it out, gather information, ensure the exchange, explain the situation to the lucky old buggers who got out, make sure I didn't mess anything up along the way, rip out all the magic from their souls, that sort of thing. Each step isn't overly difficult, of course, but you have to make it all come together properly, you know?"
Post by: Xantalos on August 30, 2014, 05:55:09 pm
Post by: Toaster on August 30, 2014, 11:42:15 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on August 31, 2014, 05:56:30 am
What's he doing?
"Spelunking's a good word for it, I think."
"Hey robot-thing, got a pen and paper I can borrow?"
The robot-thing looks at you for a moment.
"Yeah," it says sadly in a feminine voice, retrieving a silvery pen and a bit of technical-looking paper. "Here you go, sir."
Post by: Xantalos on August 31, 2014, 05:33:16 pm
Post by: Toaster on September 01, 2014, 10:15:32 am
Quote
Hey guy,
Sorry I couldn't stay for pancakes. Can you give me a call? I have an opportunity for you.
Thanks,
Larry
Larry wrote his cell phone number at the bottom, then handing the pen back to the robot.
"Thanks, bot."
He headed upstairs and stuck the note under the door.
Post by: Pancaek on September 01, 2014, 02:40:42 pm
Climb back up. Ask Menkau if this is really the only way or if he has anything that could help me reach the leyline safely.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 01, 2014, 03:37:19 pm
What for?
"Treasure, I believe!"
"Yo, Menkau!" John yells towards the top of the manhole "There's just too much shit and too little space here. I'm coming back up, we need a new plan."
Climb back up. Ask Menkau if this is really the only way or if he has anything that could help me reach the leyline safely.
You climb out, your left sleeve and pants stained quite a lot with disgusting sewage, and the first thing you see is that Menkau and James appear to have found new friends. Eight new friends, to be exact, from varying walks of life.
"Ah, John! The hunt isn't going very well, is it?"
You notice that Menkau is a tad... shrouded, to the degree that his nature is not at all immediately apparent to any onlookers.
Post by: Pancaek on September 01, 2014, 03:50:38 pm
He turns to Menkau
"Yeah, I couldn't really get anywhere. It's pitch black, there's no room to manoevre and it's rather hard to breathe. You know, because it's a sewer. Do you have any suggestions? An alternate route, maybe?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 01, 2014, 03:52:33 pm
John looks at the gathered people "Uh, good day to you all."
He turns to Menkau
"Yeah, I couldn't really get anywhere. It's pitch black, there's no room to manoevre and it's rather hard to breathe. You know, because it's a sewer. Do you have any suggestions? An alternate route, maybe?"
"Maybe try your magazine! It should eventually produce something useful for your endeavor, provided you stick with it, of course!"
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 01, 2014, 04:00:35 pm
"I could dig for it, if you could tell me where your treasure is. And if you don't mind a few blue skeletons. Hidden treasure in the middle of the city would make for a great story."
Post by: Pancaek on September 01, 2014, 04:18:51 pm
"Maybe try your magazine! It should eventually produce something useful for your endeavor, provided you stick with it, of course!""Yeah, probably worth a shot"
"Good day!" Eta responds cheerfully."I'm sorry, who are you again?"
"I could dig for it, if you could tell me where your treasure is. And if you don't mind a few blue skeletons. Hidden treasure in the middle of the city would make for a great story."
Read magazine! Recieve wonderful new spells!
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Xantalos on September 01, 2014, 04:30:16 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 01, 2014, 04:33:23 pm
Wave or extend my hand, depending on distance.
"Right now I'm sort of a magical researcher, mostly trying to understand magic. But you could say I'm a person interested in any and all interesting things."
Try to make a gesture with my hand so as to point it to the people in front of me. Do I get a reaction from my mark from any of them?
"What about you?"
Post by: flabort on September 01, 2014, 10:48:00 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on September 01, 2014, 10:59:59 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on September 02, 2014, 07:46:16 am
"I suspect you're not being honest here, friend. Where's my money?"
"Oh. Er. Sorry. I just missed the one time, man - I've been having problems with respect, you see - this eejit here don't respect me, and that's been holding up my payments. How much do I owe you again? Please, just gimme till tomorrow night and I'll figure it out..."
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 02, 2014, 09:19:54 am
"Oh. Er. Sorry. I just missed the one time, man - I've been having problems with respect, you see - this eejit here don't respect me, and that's been holding up my payments. How much do I owe you again? Please, just gimme till tomorrow night and I'll figure it out..."
"Okay, that's your offer. I'm gonna counter it with this - how about I snap your shins in half right now unless you give me the money?"
Post by: lawastooshort on September 02, 2014, 09:57:23 am
”Run, Nigel! Get the feck out of here before he smashes in yer shins! And incidentally, don’t feckin’ go near the potato god wit that potato in you before I tell him I gave it to you or you’s gonna probably burn in potato hell, shit, run!”
Run!
((oh dear it’s gone terribly wrong))
Post by: Pancaek on September 02, 2014, 04:31:17 pm
"Henrietta R. Hippo. Although most people call me Eta.""John, enchanté. You'll excuse me if I don't shake hands, wouldn't want to get yours dirty with sewage. You might want to stop trying to understand magic, I've come to notice that it only brings misery."
Wave or extend my hand, depending on distance.
"Right now I'm sort of a magical researcher, mostly trying to understand magic. But you could say I'm a person interested in any and all interesting things."
Try to make a gesture with my hand so as to point it to the people in front of me. Do I get a reaction from my mark from any of them?
"What about you?"
Post by: Xantalos on September 02, 2014, 08:23:52 pm
What type of treasure do you seek?
Post by: flabort on September 02, 2014, 08:25:46 pm
/me waves/me waves back
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 04, 2014, 07:33:35 am
[Dave's affinity roll: 1-->3+3+2]
Yes, he begins to release all nine of his spells, which were... something, he guesses. They were... well, there was one with angels, no, wait, two with angels, and one with Undulating Porcelain Gremlin Kings, and also some others. What were they again? Something... wait a minute. He just needs to check his own mind, he realizes, and immediately does so, quickly rattling off the names of each spell as he concentrates on what magical knowledge he seems to have. There's nine spells, for gods' sakes, how can he be expected to remember them all? Honestly, it's more than a bit unreasonable.
Now, what was he doing again? He remembers thinking about something, but he's not quite sure what it is anymore - the image is gone from his mind, a mere echo of its complexity remaining as his fallible brain has filed it away, or rather crumpled it up and thrown it into the corner.
* * * * *
Larry, upon getting what he wants, quickly scribbles up a note with accompanying contact information.
"Thanks, bot," he tells the robot-thing, but it just appears more saddened by this.
"Eh. 'I live to serve'," it halfheartedly quotes at him, but Larry is already long gone by then, having entered the elevator. Within a short while, he is back at the Executive Suite, where he slips the note under the door.
However, just as he turns away from the door, he hears footsteps followed by a shuffling sound. Turning to look, he sees that the note has been pushed back out from the suite. That's... kinda strange.
* * * * *
John, feeling very confused at the sudden appearance of a whole host of people in his near vicinity, not even particularly noticing the fact that Shauna and Raven, two people he may sort of know, are among them, despite the fact that they sort of wave to him in an effort to get through his impenetrable layer of nonchalant drunkenness, just takes out his mag after a short round of introductions and looks through it for spells.
[John's mind roll: 2+1+1]
And his mind quickly accepts the magic, letting him ascend to a simpler world, one where he needs only catch spheres. Two spheres, in this case, both of which he seizes at a lazy pace, pondering which one to pocket as he returns to the world of crushing normality.
Spoiler: John's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
As John looks at the mag, Eta sadly concludes that none of these people seem to be making her mark react in any particular way. Not even Mr. Menkau, who she pegged to be an oddity more than anything. After all, he did admit to having innate magical powers totally unlike what she's had experience with so far.
But before she can think for very long, Joanie interrupts THE DUNKER's repeated question that has found no answer.
"Well! Looks like we've got the mystery sorted out, thanks to torture man over here."
"Please, call me Menkau," torture man says.
"So the only thing left to do is step two: find the leyline and then get the hell out of here. If only I remembered where it was!" Joanie says, and the rest of her group prick their ears up immediately. "But alas, I am way too drunk to sense anything right now. It was in the sewers, I recall, but where?"
* * * * *
Halesey, fearing for his shins, attempts to distract the mafioso!
"I don’t have any shins!" he shouts, and begins to cast!
[Halesey's finesse roll: 4+1]
[Mafioso's finesse roll: 4]
[Cadwallader's finesse roll: 4-1]
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5+1]
Halesey's first impulse is to conjure up a potato vortex, and one appears right behind the mafioso, a gateway to the normal world, pushing the mafioso toward Halesey!
"Run, Nigel! Get the feck out of here before he smashes in yer shins! And incidentally, don’t feckin’ go near the potato god wit that potato in you before I tell him I gave it to you or you’s gon-"
[Mafioso vs. Halesey: 2+1 vs. 1]
Halesey doesn't quite finish that sentence, as the mafioso seizes him by the neck and knees him in the abdomen, causing Halesey to feel like he's about to lose his lunch.
"Don't fuck around. Where's my money? Where's my fucking money?" the mafioso begins to ask repeatedly.
[Cadwallader's affinity roll: 5+1]
He appears to be ready to enact some other form of violence, but suddenly the roiling sea of potatoes all around them becomes rather still. Incredibly still. Supernaturally so, even. Potatoes, once so very mobile and unconstricting, now surround Halesey and the mafioso like a cage, more potatoes joining them within moments, only to become similarly immobilized. Both Halesey and the mafioso try to move, but find that they are trapped in their current positions, both of which are rather awkward, to tell the truth. Not to mention the inherent visual limitations of looking in a direction Halesey assumes to be downwards, still clutching his belly, while a large, burly fellow holds him in place while being similarly immobilized.
"Well, shit," the mafioso says after a moment.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on September 04, 2014, 07:43:18 am
Post by: Toaster on September 04, 2014, 07:43:56 am
"Hello? This is Larry again, from the other day?"
Post by: Pancaek on September 04, 2014, 07:54:00 am
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on September 04, 2014, 08:15:30 am
Cast Enchant Potato on the potato nearest my nose.
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 04, 2014, 08:54:16 am
Cast Pit of Blue Skeletons on that place near the manhole John indicated.
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 04, 2014, 11:07:55 am
Larry walked back on the door and knocked on it.
"Hello? This is Larry again, from the other day?"
The door opens, and in it stands Sherry from the other day, looking to be in a rather terrible state of well-being.
"What?" she asks peevishly, bleary-eyed and wearing a bathrobe. "Who? What do you want?"
Post by: Toaster on September 04, 2014, 11:58:02 am
Post by: Xantalos on September 04, 2014, 01:19:36 pm
Emit Scandalous Dentists and dive down into the sewers, ignoring that I'll likely get stuck in the manhole!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 04, 2014, 02:05:50 pm
Larry waves. "Hey, this is Larry, we met at the bar the other day; remember Halesey? I was his friend. Say, is your buddy the uh... green guy who likes pancakes around?"
"Green guy? What green guy? Were you, like, that guy? The one I met at the..."
A horrid possibility dawns on her mind.
"Oh crap, nothing happened between us, right?"
She doesn't seem to have quite acknowledged the crux of your question.
Post by: Toaster on September 04, 2014, 02:16:26 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 04, 2014, 02:29:37 pm
"Nah, nah. You passed out, and your buddy got you in bed. Is he around? The green guy?"
"Oh, thank god," she says, visibly relieved. "And I still don't know who the green guy is. What green guy?"
Post by: Toaster on September 04, 2014, 02:36:55 pm
Larry scratches his head for a second. What had he said...
"Might have been a friend of your roommate?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 04, 2014, 02:58:22 pm
"You know, green, likes pancakes, doesn't wear clothes?"
Larry scratches his head for a second. What had he said...
"Might have been a friend of your roommate?"
"A friend of Frankie's? Crap, I'll go check, I guess..."
She walks off for a moment, leaving the door open. A few moments pass, and she returns.
"Alright, she's not here and the guy you're looking for is not here, either. Where'd you see him, again?"
Post by: Toaster on September 04, 2014, 03:14:59 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 04, 2014, 03:28:27 pm
"He was in your place reading the paper, and about to make pancakes. He was kinda obvious."
"Huh. That was right before I fell asleep, right? I think I crashed pretty hard right before that. Maybe I should call Frankie. Maybe she knows what the hell you're talking about, or something."
She walks off a moment, then comes back with her phone to her ear.
"Come on, pick up... okay! Hey, Frankie! Where are you?"
A moment's pause. Sherry's face becomes a bit grim.
"Where?"
Another pause.
"I said where! Where are you?... what do you mean, you're not sure? You see any green guys?"
Her face turns doubtful.
"Tom? I don't know his name. Is he green?... uh-huh, with stripes. Likes pancakes?... yeah, okay. So, where are you now? You see any landmarks?"
She nods repeatedly.
"Any... street names, maybe?... no? Okay. When are you going to be back?"
The answer doesn't seem hopeful. A minute or so passes, and Sherry hangs up.
"Yeah, she's with a green guy, striped, name of Tom. I think there's trouble. She's hallucinating. Well, I think. She says Tom is real, but other things aren't, and that the streets are melting or some shit. I think she's high as a kite. Maybe still drunk. Probably went off and had fun without me while I was out."
She ponders this for a moment.
"... mm-hm, yeah, that's not good. She's not from here. I have to find her. Who is this fucking green guy, anyway? Frankie says he's with her or something. It's hard to tell."
Post by: Toaster on September 04, 2014, 03:33:00 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 04, 2014, 03:42:47 pm
Larry scratches his head again. "Not sure, but I mentioned him to... a buddy, and he wants to meet him. Any idea where they are?"
"Dunno. Like I said, she's high. Really high. So I bet she's probably out on the streets someplace, causing trouble or whatever."
Post by: Toaster on September 04, 2014, 10:13:29 pm
Post by: Pancaek on September 06, 2014, 07:45:36 pm
"I can make it bigger for you. Here, watch. It's not like this place can get worse than it already is."
Cast Pit of Blue Skeletons on that place near the manhole John indicated.Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
"Oh, deary me, you're going to do something dangerous, aren't you? Awww, shit."
Quickly stand back from the manhole, pull Dave and Menkau with me to a safe distance.
"Hey, Menkau" John whispers to his bovine friend after they've moved away a bit "Do you know these people? What are they even doing here?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 07, 2014, 03:57:19 am
* * * * *
Halesey does not miss a single beat despite his immobilization, immediately choosing to demonstrate his powers to this awful man who seems to insist on doing bad things to him for the sake of material wealth. Perhaps the majesty of the potato will move him when it has been rightly enchanted?
"Yea, for check out the power of the Potato God, Unbeliever! Submit!"
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5+1]
The immovable potato nearest his nose suddenly becomes golden brown and smooth, and it also begins to emit a very sweet smell that make Halesey feel a bit hungry. Smells like caramel, he thinks.
"Oh god. Can't I just die now?" the mafioso wonders. "Or at least exist elsewhere?"
* * * * *
Eta, feeling the need to be helpful to others, especially when a leyline is involved, offers John some help.
"I can make it bigger for you. Here, watch. It's not like this place can get worse than it already is," she says, extending her hand toward a point on the ground near the manhole.
"Oh, deary me, you're going to do something dangerous, aren't you? Awww, shit," John says, retreating from the soon-to-be disaster area and pulling Menkau and James with him.
"Hey, Menkau," he whispers to his otherworldly companion. "Do you know these people? What are they even doing here?"
"Well, they were here to investigate rumors of Mr. and Mrs. Lee's deaths, but mainly to find the leyline, I think. Wizards, all of them. Most of a semi-kindly disposition, several with ulterior motives. Not trustworthy people, mostly, but they seem to be helping now, don't they?"
"I'm... not sure I like the way this is developing," James says. "There's many of them already. Are more going to come?"
"If I had to guess, yes! Oh hey, look, she's letting loose a spell!"
[Eta's affinity roll: 5+1]
Menkau points at Eta, who seems to have just conjured a pit on a particular spot. The entirely wrong spot, John notes, not where the tunnel is at all, but rather on the side of the street. Maybe she doesn't know any better, he thinks as he hears a set of burst water pipes begin to fill the newly created hole. He then looks over the other wizards. One woman dressed like a stereotypical art teacher seems to be eating a donut absently. That... wait a minute, there's the ginger guy. The custodian guy! That asshole! Hasn't recognized John yet, it seems. And there's Shauna and Raven, in slightly different clothes. As well as a crazy-looking dude examining the newly-created pit. And also a fat guy who's obviously up to no good. And finally, the really drunk girl.
"You missed the sewer, Eta! You missed the whole dang sewer!" she says, laughing to herself.
The fat guy, THE DUNKER, seems about to do something extraordinary, as he immediately runs toward the open manhole, seemingly intent on jumping in.
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 1-->5+2]
And jump in he does, along with a slight curse as he seems to fumble some sort of spell, which is probably for the best, really, considering the expected utility of casting spells while falling down into a pit.
[THE DUNKER's body roll: 4-1]
And though John does not see it, the man lands in sewage rather roughly, a powerful splash of waste ruining his suit as he lands on his sizable rump, bruising his tailbone very painfully. He nearly gets stuck on the way down, to say nothing of the darkness, incredibly awful smell and really narrow tunnels down here. However, THE DUNKER immediately realizes that the man topside wasn't lying - he can definitely sense a leyline here. He has a direction down and everything.
* * * * *
Larry is, as is typical, slightly disappointed with the terrible uselessness of dear old Sherry, but supposes that she's the only lead he's got, and opts to follow her.
"Alright, let's go then."
"Hold on, need to get dressed," Sherry says, and walks off. It takes her about fifteen minutes, much to Larry's displeasure, but she eventually turns up, dressed entirely differently from yesterday, wearing a coat and a hat. And it is only then that they head out, walking right out of the W7000 and into the streets of the city.
"Okay... so, what's our first move? Local bars, I guess? I dunno. Maybe a club? Though those are probably closed. Huh. Maybe she's just out on the streets somewhere? Not a lot of people out at this hour," she says, walking purposefully down the street, Larry needing to quicken his pace to keep up. "Maybe I need to- oh, wait! The green guy's with her, right? Tom?" she turns back toward Larry. "Maybe I can call her, she picks up and I ask her to put that green dude on the line, and then you talk to him? Unless he's completely stoned as well. I dunno. Any ideas?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 07, 2014, 05:42:21 am
Having vented some of her irritation, she approached the strange man who could use magic without spells.
"Sooo.... Do you happen to know anything about magic? You know, since you can use it so easily? I'm really interested in learning why Joanie over there" she pointed at Joanie "'dreamt magic up' as she put it. Why magic suddenly exists in this world. Or if magic was always here, then why is it suddenly so much more common and powerful."
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 07, 2014, 05:46:44 am
"Well, excuse me!" said Eta with mild irritation. "I don't spend all my time mapping sewers you know."
Having vented some of her irritation, she approached the strange man who could use magic without spells.
"Sooo.... Do you happen to know anything about magic? You know, since you can use it so easily? I'm really interested in learning why Joanie over there" she pointed at Joanie "'dreamt magic up' as she put it. Why magic suddenly exists in this world. Or if magic was always here, then why is it suddenly so much more common and powerful."
"That depends. Do you know the password?" Menkau asks deathly seriously. You perceive a slight disturbance in his shape, one that makes you want to take a step back.
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 07, 2014, 06:08:33 am
"Password for what?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on September 07, 2014, 08:49:51 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 07, 2014, 08:55:52 am
Eta almost said "Swordfish", but decided against it.
"Password for what?"
"You don't ask about the password. That's rule number one. Can you guess rule number two?"
Post by: Xantalos on September 07, 2014, 12:19:07 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 07, 2014, 12:28:42 pm
"You don't ask about the password. That's rule number one. Can you guess rule number two?""How many guesses do I get?"
Post by: Toaster on September 07, 2014, 02:40:27 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 07, 2014, 03:41:15 pm
"How many guesses do I get?"
"A single one! And maybe another one if it's a good guess."
Post by: lawastooshort on September 08, 2014, 05:18:02 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 08, 2014, 06:27:19 am
”No! You can’t! I think. Now, yield, or I shall enchant the potato nearest your nose – and you shall know the pain of slight hunger!”((Bring out the comfy chair!))
"Hmm... Okay... Is it 'You don't answer questions about the password'?""How many guesses do I get?""A single one! And maybe another one if it's a good guess."
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 08, 2014, 08:59:13 am
”No! You can’t! I think. Now, yield, or I shall enchant the potato nearest your nose – and you shall know the pain of slight hunger!”
"Oh no. However will I survive?"
"Hmm... Okay... Is it 'You don't answer questions about the password'?"
"Quite wrong. Sorry. But I could just tell you everything anyway. You seem kind of trustworthy in a terribly destructive way, which I rather like. But you can't tell anyone, or measures will need to be taken, okay?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 08, 2014, 12:46:21 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 09, 2014, 03:22:13 pm
"Yeah, that sounds good. Let me talk to him."
Sherry dials up the number, and waits a moment. Frankie picks up on the other end.
"Yeah, hey, Frankie, it's me again. Can I talk to Tom?... What?... Huh?... Well, can you, like, maybe relay some information to him? I've got a friend who wants to, like, talk to him or something... okay? Yeah? How about it?... Okay, you talk to my friend, and tell Tom what he tells you, okay? Alright. Here goes. Don't hang up!"
She hands you the phone, and you put it up to your ear.
"Who speaks here?" whispers the tinny, girlish, distinctly nasal voice of Frankie. She's breathing heavily into the microphone, sounds like. "Why do you seek Tom? Don't you know Tom?"
"Oh. Not a soul? Can't even tell it to someone who knows the password?"
"Well, maybe if they know the password, yeah. But only vague clues even then! And you can't tell anyone the password, either! And I'll know, trust me. I always know! Anywho, ready?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 09, 2014, 03:34:14 pm
Post by: Toaster on September 09, 2014, 03:41:30 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 09, 2014, 03:45:03 pm
"Yes, I think. Wait, this won't cause my head to explode, right?"
"Probably not, I'd say! But I can put it back together if it does. Now, close your eyes and step toward me!"
"What? Frankie? Where's Tom? This is Larry. I met Tom the other day, and now I have some information he needs to know. Where are you?"
"I don't know. The streets are too melted to tell, and the pavement's running into the sky. The sun looks angry at me."
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 09, 2014, 04:00:42 pm
Comply.
Post by: Toaster on September 09, 2014, 08:59:23 pm
Post by: Pancaek on September 09, 2014, 10:01:29 pm
"Uh, Menkau? Are you going to take her into your little dimension again? Maybe I should go with, to make sure you don't accidentally do horrible things to her?"
Warn Menksy not to accidentally torture the new girl while she's in him. Go inside as well if he'd like some kind of referee.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 10, 2014, 02:37:31 pm
Larry mutters under his breath. "How'd you get there, then? What you been smoking?"
"Would you believe... nothing, and I don't know, in reverse order?"
John, watching the enlarged sewer pit and only half listening to Menkau and the new girl, suddenly gets a very bad feeling that goes all the way to his spleen.
"Uh, Menkau? Are you going to take her into your little dimension again? Maybe I should go with, to make sure you don't accidentally do horrible things to her?"
Warn Menksy not to accidentally torture the new girl while she's in him. Go inside as well if he'd like some kind of referee.
"Oh, pshaw. I'm not going to do anything terrible! I'll be right here the entire time," he says, adjusting his coat a little as Eta walks toward him. Menkau steps, well, into her, and she completely disappears. "See? We can talk about alcohol or something else you enjoy or at least engage in regularly, if you're really that concerned about my lasting sanity!"
The donut lady is seemingly alarmed by this.
"Hey! What just happened there?"
"Fuck if I know, hahahah!" Joanie replies.
"I'm asking him," the woman says, pointing at Menkau.
"Me? Well, the lady wanted to know everything, see. And so I'm telling her."
"Huh? How? What?"
"It's a bit hard to explain. Suffice it to say that I have my mysterious ways."
"Who are you, even?"
"Mr. Menkau, pleased to meet you! John will fill you in if you want more," Menkau says, pointing at you. At that same moment, the ginger guy looks at you as well. Now he appears to recognize you, most unfortunately.
"Hey, wait! You're that guy!"
"Which guy?" Joanie asks.
"The guy who destroyed the school! And beat the shit out of me with his two friends! That guy!"
"Oh! I see!" Joanie says, then gives you quite a drunken evil eye. "You know, you do look real shifty, man. What're you up to, anyway? You wanna steal my leyline, maybe?"
Post by: Xantalos on September 10, 2014, 02:38:53 pm
Post by: Toaster on September 10, 2014, 02:59:42 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 10, 2014, 03:09:23 pm
Larry sighed directly into the phone. "So you have no idea where you are, how you got there, and no idea where Tom is, correct?"
"Tom is all around me, and everywhere I go."
Post by: Toaster on September 10, 2014, 03:11:43 pm
Post by: Pancaek on September 10, 2014, 03:25:19 pm
And I'm not trying to steal your leyline, miss." John points towards Menkau "Menks here just pointed out that the Lee's knew of a leyline here. And since they're gone, we should go and take a look. By the way, shouldn't you be more concerned about your two flunkies who just dissapeared?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 10, 2014, 03:31:09 pm
"...did he eat you?"
"That would be unladylike of me to reveal."
"Hey, no hard feelings. I was just helping Trey and Luz on their little adventure. If it makes you feel any better, we were all tortured and the two kids are now in some kind of living hell.
And I'm not trying to steal your leyline, miss." John points towards Menkau "Menks here just pointed out that the Lee's knew of a leyline here. And since they're gone, we should go and take a look. By the way, shouldn't you be more concerned about your two flunkies who just dissapeared?"
"I'll let it go if you let me kick you in the nuts. Then I'll be happy, I'm pretty sure."
Joanie, meanwhile, looks at the manhole.
"Eh, I'm sure fat guy's alright. And Eta's not really my flunky, so what she does is her business, ya know?"
Post by: Toaster on September 10, 2014, 03:35:58 pm
Post by: Pancaek on September 10, 2014, 05:27:18 pm
"I'll let it go if you let me kick you in the nuts. Then I'll be happy, I'm pretty sure."
Joanie, meanwhile, looks at the manhole.
"Eh, I'm sure fat guy's alright. And Eta's not really my flunky, so what she does is her business, ya know?"
John looks at the ginger guy, trying to convey as much loathing as he possibly can without actually changing his facial expression
"Yeah, that isn't going to happen. In fact." He turns to Menkau "Menks, if this gentlemen were to attempt to kick me in the nuts, I want you to help me stop him. No need to be too gentle, should it come to that."
He turns back to the ginger man "So, there you have it. I still don't think this leyline belongs to you people in any way, is there a particular reason you don't want to share?" John asks the last question to Joanie, without actually looking away from ginger man.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 11, 2014, 03:56:54 am
"Ew. Uh.... can you put me on speaker? He might hear me that way."
"He can hear you already, I think. The walls are stirring."
John looks at the ginger guy, trying to convey as much loathing as he possibly can without actually changing his facial expression
"Yeah, that isn't going to happen. In fact." He turns to Menkau "Menks, if this gentlemen were to attempt to kick me in the nuts, I want you to help me stop him. No need to be too gentle, should it come to that."
"Oh, certainly! I think I've got just the thing for him, really."
"So I guess passive-aggressive enemies it is, then," the ginger guy says.
"Can't say I foresee you trying anything ending very well, though."
"I did say 'passive-aggressive', didn't I?"
He turns back to the ginger man "So, there you have it. I still don't think this leyline belongs to you people in any way, is there a particular reason you don't want to share?" John asks the last question to Joanie, without actually looking away from ginger man.
"It's magical power, man. It's no fun if everyone has the same amount, is it?"
"No fun for you, maybe," Shauna says with irritation.
"Exactly. And if it's no fun for me, it's my solemn duty to make it no fun for everyone! Them's the rules and all."
"That does explain a lot of your behavior, yeah."
"Nobody cares what you think, Nigel. Another plus of magical power - pulling rank on your lessers!"
"You know what, fuck this. I'm outta here," Nigel says, evidently pushed over some kind of limit, beginning to leave. "Have fun, everyone!" he adds, flipping the bird at the group over his shoulder without looking as he walks off.
"Well, more leyline for the rest of us!" Joanie grins. "Right, Shauna? Raven? Let's do this!" she says, walking toward the sewer. The donut woman begins to follow as well, though quite cautiously.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 11, 2014, 04:04:42 am
"Right. You asked for it."
Post by: Toaster on September 11, 2014, 07:44:04 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 11, 2014, 11:21:43 am
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, surely not one to shy away from foul smells or mortal danger, what with having been the occupant of a prison cell for quite a significant period of his life, decides to make an effort to reach the leyline, getting down on his hands and knees and clambering into the sewage tunnel, hoping that his girth is not so great that he cannot make it through.
[THE DUNKER's body roll: 4-1]
It becomes difficult to breathe almost immediately, and THE DUNKER finds the sewage surprisingly pliant as he tries to make his way through it in the direction that he senses. He gets about ten meters ahead until he begins to feel slightly oxygen-deprived - and yet the leyline is not very far now. The question is, is he prepared to risk his life moving ahead? Suffocating would be bad enough. But suffocating in a sewer? Oh dear. And even more importantly, will he even be able to find his way back? So far the path has been roughly straight, but now he comes to a slight turn, a 4-way intersection - the leyline can be sensed about midway between two alternatives.
* * * * *
Halesey, tired of this mafia person's guff, cuts loose fully and without restraint.
"Right. You asked for it."
[Halesey's affinity roll: 4+1]
Suddenly, a tiny pillow appears next to the potato nearest the mafioso's nose - Halesey can see it very well, if he twists his head to a painful degree.
"That's kind of weird, I admit," the mafioso says, and then, as if responding, the potato flies off into the distance on the pillow, presumably to have some sort of magical adventure.
* * * * *
Larry, not one to waste even a vaguely-worded opportunity to speak with the illustrious Tom, starts to immediately talk as loudly as possible into the phone.
"Uhh... cool. HEY TOM! THE OLDTHINKER UP IN SATURN WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK WITH YOU! YOU KNOW, THE SATURN HEAVEN? HE SAYS YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO COME AND GO AS YOU PLEASE! Uhh... OKAY?"
"Stop shouting."
"Yeah, man. I can totally hear you. No need to holler, you know? Anyway, why would I want to go up there? Who's the Oldthinker?" the voice of Tom cuts in.
Post by: Toaster on September 11, 2014, 12:08:50 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 11, 2014, 12:11:43 pm
"HE'S THIS CHILL ... uh... chill old dude that's really old and thinks a lot. They're having parties up there with this really dope booze that, like, doubles your thinking. He says it'd be an even banginger party if you were there. Last night was pretty sweet."
"That works, I guess. Are you gonna take me there?"
Post by: Xantalos on September 11, 2014, 12:13:42 pm
Focus on the spell Emit Scandalous Dentists. If they're just 'there' waiting to be summoned or something, talk to them and tell them that if they assist me in my tunnelling efforts I can provide many targets for dentistry for them.
Post by: Toaster on September 11, 2014, 12:24:35 pm
"That works, I guess. Are you gonna take me there?"
"Yeah, sure. Where can I meet you? I'm at the apartment where we first met."
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 11, 2014, 01:46:10 pm
"Yeah, sure. Where can I meet you? I'm at the apartment where we first met."
"Meet you there in 4 hours. Toodles," goes the voice of Tom, and hangs up.
Post by: Toaster on September 11, 2014, 01:53:59 pm
"Tom will at your place in four hours. Also I think he ate Frankie, or she's totally coked off her ass, or something. She sounds fine though."
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 11, 2014, 01:58:44 pm
Larry handed the phone back to the chick whose name he still couldn't come up with.
"Tom will at your place in four hours. Also I think he ate Frankie, or she's totally coked off her ass, or something. She sounds fine though."
"Ew! Don't tell me about that!" the chick with no name recoils a bit. "I mean, yeah, I'm glad she sounds fine and all, but geez."
Post by: lawastooshort on September 11, 2014, 02:05:31 pm
Post by: Toaster on September 11, 2014, 02:06:18 pm
Larry glanced at the time.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 11, 2014, 02:14:00 pm
"That could be your head flying away on a pillow if you don't give up."
"You seem to be missing the part where neither of us can move, I think."
"So yeah, at your place four hours from now. What until then?"
Larry glanced at the time.
You deduce that roughly four hours still remain before your due appointment. At that time, it will be 2 PM, you think, since it's about 10 AM now.
"Well, if that's all sorted, and I'm gonna assume it is, I... dunno? I guess I could go sleep some more. You can hang out in the suite or something. Unless you have a better idea, maybe."
Post by: Toaster on September 11, 2014, 02:34:27 pm
He wandered off. Now what? He wondered where Halesey was, so he sent him a quick text message.
Quote from: Text message to Halesey
Where are you? After the moon I went to Saturn; better parties there.
Hmm... maybe Cal would know? He wandered until he found a park bench or something similar, then talked into his hand.
"Hey Cal, you around?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on September 11, 2014, 03:33:07 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 16, 2014, 12:12:42 pm
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 3+1]
[THE DUNKER's finesse roll: 4-1]
A single, utterly drunk dentist shoots out of his back, pressing him down into the sewage. Realizing that trouble is about to follow, THE DUNKER's ratlike instincts carry him forward just as another dentist, dressed in a pink tutu with the white, sequined symbol of a tooth embroidered on it, shoots out of his left side, increasing the cramped conditions - nevertheless, THE DUNKER slips forward still, as yet another dentist, this one garbed in a tracksuit and wearing brass knuckles, flies out frontward. And then another, a little laughing boy, shoots backward, with a slightly diagonal tendency to his flight. And finally, the dentist emission concludes when a final dentist, an old lady with a rusty case of painful-sounding old instruments, nearly traps THE DUNKER in place, though the fat man slips out forward mostly.
Good news is, he's not trapped in place. Bad news, he's not sure having these dentists here sucking up all the air is in any way an improvement.
[THE DUNKER's body roll: 6-->3-1]
Though he is rather sure he'll be okay, as long as he can get to the leyline and back in no more than three minutes. Shouldn't be hard, right? He just has to scamper like a natural C.H.U.D., and maybe also like the subterranean poopwind.
* * * * *
Larry, after bidding the nameless chick adieu, vainly texting the man who is or at least soon will be a potato, then finding way to his park bench, addresses his one true friend and companion throughout the entire two latest thirds of his life - his hand. The signed one, to be specific.
"Hey Cal, you around?"
"Yeah, dude. Where'd you go? I hear Arielle took you off to the Oldthinker's place, right?" the voice of Cal cuts in immediately, sounding a bit hungover.
* * * * *
Dave, having so much magic pent up in him he's on the verge of turning blue, tries to release the unholy power of his entire spell list once again!
[Dave's affinity roll: 4+1+2]
And with a mighty crash of raw, untold potential, words become earth, and dimensions splinter as the power of nine spells released all at once courses through Dave, his body elongating slightly as segments of it turn into undulating porcelain and grow fur and do all sorts of other suspicious, though seemingly harmless things.
Before him, the Gremlin Moon takes place, with porcelain deserts hit with outbreaks of deep black smut, hookers forming complex storm patterns as they roar across its surface hunting the joyful thylacines living out happy lives , mere thoughts taking shape as parts of it descend, lower, explode and reform, as if the very nature of the moon were highly inconstant. He can observe space itself shift around the area of the moon, occasionally attracting him, or pushing him away. Angelic gremlin choirs rise from the deepest pits of the thing before the Gremlin Kings pull them back down again, volcanoes of booze exploding out of cracks between plates of the surface porcelain flats and underwear oceans. And all of it is engulfed in what looks like pure chaos - things of all configurations appearing suddenly in the air, then disappearing.
And then, before Dave even manages to open his mouth, the entire moon elongates, then disappears.
"Hey! Wait! No fair! That looked cool!" the Denture God says, and sputters a little. Dave can't help but feel a tad disappointed, considering the sacrifices he just had to make.
Post by: Xantalos on September 16, 2014, 12:17:48 pm
Post by: Toaster on September 16, 2014, 12:19:12 pm
...addresses his one true friend and companion throughout the entire two latest thirds of his life - his hand.
Hur hur
"Yeah, and we had a pretty sweet time. Buncha cool kids. Hey, have you seen Halesey lately? I think he's up to something stupid again."
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 16, 2014, 12:32:56 pm
Scamper, quick! To the leyline!
[Your body roll: 4-1]
You scamper onward, seeking the leyline - you've got a bead on it. And while you're sure you're on the verge of starting to suffocate in here, you push onward, and try to mentally grab at the leyline, hoping your mind will reach what your flesh cannot.
However, the leyline remains elusive. You can't quite get at it - you need to go deeper, deeper still. You have two obvious choices - one, turn back and consider better plans in fresher air. Two, do or die.
"Yeah, and we had a pretty sweet time. Buncha cool kids. Hey, have you seen Halesey lately? I think he's up to something stupid again."
"Can't get a read on him, sorry. Not sure why, though."
Post by: lawastooshort on September 16, 2014, 12:37:04 pm
Post by: Xantalos on September 16, 2014, 12:40:58 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on September 16, 2014, 03:36:02 pm
Post by: Pancaek on September 16, 2014, 04:08:22 pm
"You know, your dude is staying away for quite a while. maybe you want to help him?"
He turns to Menkau and whispers.
"Dude, I'm starting to think this leyline is way too much trouble for what it's worth. And this broad is drunk and pretty violent. You have any other ideas as to what we could do? Cause I kind of want to skedaddle."
Post by: lawastooshort on September 17, 2014, 07:37:48 am
If he can’t, I have no option but to cast Potato Vortex centred on my head until I escape.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 17, 2014, 07:41:49 am
Focus on having a mouth again. ((What spell even caused that?))
I understand your confusion, reading that again, but it wasn't your mouth that elongated and disappeared. It was the moon. Correction made!
John glances towards the hole in the ground
"You know, your dude is staying away for quite a while. maybe you want to help him?"
"Eh, it's a risk that comes with the territory. And I'm sure as hell not going down there. I got that leyline already, see. Shauna! Raven! Go check if the fat guy's dead or something," Joanie says to her two quasi-friends.
"I... don't think I want to," Shauna says.
"Uh, I can do it, I guess," Raven replies unsurely. "Just so he doesn't, uh, you know, die."
"That's the spirit! You're twice as useful as Nigel already, and not even a quarter as ugly!"
Raven just frowns as she walks toward the manhole and begins to descend.
"Hey, Shauna, why'd I keep Nigel around again?" Joanie asks, sitting down on the ground, settling in for a wait.
"Because he was the guard?" Shauna answers, preferring to stand with her arms crossed over her chest.
"I knew there was a reason!"
Shauna just sighs and decides to follow Raven despite the initial refusal, leaving just you, Menkau, James and donut lady standing up while Joanie sits in a meditative pose. There's a bit where nobody speaks.
"So! Who wants some cocaine?"
The donut lady immediately pricks her ears up, looking at Joanie.
He turns to Menkau and whispers.
"Dude, I'm starting to think this leyline is way too much trouble for what it's worth. And this broad is drunk and pretty violent. You have any other ideas as to what we could do? Cause I kind of want to skedaddle."
"Maybe you should just go home and sleep off the buzz, show James around, maybe come back later? After you get some relevant spells? I think I'll hang with Eta a bit, then catch up with you after a while. Okay?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on September 17, 2014, 11:05:22 am
Try and focus on getting rid of all my non pig weirdness.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 18, 2014, 03:12:08 pm
He is starting to run out of air.
* * * * *
Halesey, quite annoyed by this whole mafioso and potato business, decides to call for Nigel's help.
"Nigel! I would appreciate it if you undid this here spell of yours!"
Nigel, however, does not reply, and indeed does not seem to be around anymore. Halesey realizes that there is but one thing to do, and that is to make a vortex. Rather, many vortexes. As many as he can, on top of his own face. Why, yes. That seems acceptable.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->6+1]
However, the inability to move hampers him, and does so quite terribly - he can't do the potato dance, most unfortunately! How can he do the potato when he can't do the potato? With that in mind, he considers his alternatives. He could just not do the potato, though that seems blasphemous, and is rejected out of hand as a consequence. Perhaps consider a less active form of the potato, as strange as it may seem to contain his fervor? No!
Instead, he shall wiggle furiously against his restraints like any good prophet, and viciously believe that he is doing the potato. That, and only that, he thinks, can possibly be an acceptable substitute. And so, after a long period of silence followed by preparatory humming and shivering, he begins!
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5+1+3]
And his head spontaneously becomes a potato vortex most incredibly massive, more radiant in its reality than any the mafioso before him has ever has the ability to observe! The potatoes blow forth, and wash over the mafioso like a tidal wave!
[Mafioso's body roll: 4-1]
"Ah, goddamn it, that hurts!" the mafioso yells as the potatoes rush over him, pushing him into the boundaries of his tubery cage, the restraints digging into his flesh. Halesey feels that whatever he is doing, it's probably working. Best to intensify it!
[Halesey's affinity roll: 4+1]
The vortex grows larger still, pushing the mafioso even further back as Halesey's mind is fully committed to the vortex process. He groans rather loudly as the flow of air pushes him.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3+1]
The vortex is now twice as large as Halesey himself, completely engulfing his body - there's just a thin outline of skin, hair and clothing around it to indicate that anything human was even there to begin with. Halesey feels the potato encroaching on him.
[Halesey's mind roll: 6-->1+1]
But he doesn't really mind, he guesses. In most ways, he would say he is the potato already, and most of the wishes of the vortex coincide with his wishes. This is heartening, he supposes!
[Mafioso's body roll: 3-1]
The mafioso, meanwhile, is starting to get bloodily pushed through the immobile potatoes as if they were a strainer of some sort. It looks and sounds very painful.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3+1+1]
Halesey grows larger still, and larger still - a mere halo of flesh around a most wonderful vortex, he realizes. How wonderful it is to be a hole in reality, a gateway to the One True God. His eyes, dislocated to near-opposite sides of the vortex, look in opposing directions as he attempts to get his bearings.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 3+1+1]
The flesh around the edges grows thinner until a point where it may very well not be there at all. There are only his eyes that remain still roughly unchanged. He tries to sing from happiness, but only potatoes come out, which is something he is probably okay with.
Despite all this, though, he can't seem to move at all. In fact, he can move even less than he could before, which is strange. Halesey briefly entertains a thought that maybe this is a problem a potato vortex cannot solve, but then realizes that he is a potato vortex and that to think negatively of his abilities at this juncture would help no one.
The mafioso, though, seems pretty dead and gone right now, which Halesey's cool with.
* * * * *
Dave is, indeed, very disappointed at this turn of events. Surely he can do better.
"Well, shit. I can try again later if you want, but damn, my head hurts."
"I'd really like you to try again, since it does kind of suck how that happened. But take it easy, dude. You're my main man, after all. Can't mistreat my main man."
With this reassurance, Dave focuses on willing away all of his abnormalities. He already has no pants and a pig for a leg. He can't afford to be more freakish! He focuses on himself, and the abnormalities begin to recede, though they do not immediately disappear. Across the next few minutes, he looks exponentially more normal! Insofar as he can appear normal, anyway.
* * * * *
Outside the manhole, the body of Menkau stirs a moment, and out steps Eta, looking a little confused as well as dressed entirely differently than before. And, as she realizes as she steps out on the street, very much barefoot. She looks around, and finds that there are less people around, and most of them are looking at her with varying degrees of curiosity and interest. Ivette's here, as is John, James and Joanie. And Menkau, naturally.
Joanie is particularly interesting, as she seems to be doing something highly unusual. Eta's not quite sure how to characterize it. It looks a bit like reverse drug use, with a steady stream of white powder coming out of her nostrils, filling up the ground around her. She seems to have her eyes closed, and is concentrating. Ivette seems indecisive on whether to look at Eta or Joanie, sparing both some rather shocked glances. Within moments, Joanie seems to forming a small mound of what is probably cocaine all around herself.
"Hm, so, now that that's done, what now?" Menkau wonders aloud.
Post by: Toaster on September 18, 2014, 03:21:58 pm
Larry grunted. "What do you know about outsiders?"
Post by: Xantalos on September 18, 2014, 04:03:57 pm
((Welp, I might die here. Ah well, luck always was extremely polar with me.))
Post by: Dorsidwarf on September 18, 2014, 04:31:58 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on September 18, 2014, 05:14:51 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 19, 2014, 11:27:09 am
((How'd I miss a reply here))
Larry grunted. "What do you know about outsiders?"
"They're... outside?"
"Yeah. I was kind of hoping that I could form a treaty of sorts with the Gremlin Kings for giving them several deserts worth of porcelain. Oh well. So how does one treat their main man?"
"Like you'd treat a real good acquaintance, dude! As in, not kill them through overworking and whatnot. The rest, your guess is as good as mine."
Post by: Toaster on September 19, 2014, 12:09:54 pm
((How'd I miss a reply here))
Larry grunted. "What do you know about outsiders?"
"They're... outside?"
"..."
"Your buddy Oldthinker wants to talk to one. I've got a meeting with one, but I'm killing time until then."
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 19, 2014, 01:16:57 pm
((Welp, I might die here. Ah well, luck always was extremely polar with me.))((If you can scream loudly enough I might be able to create a pit on your location, although I am unsure about whether or not doing so would be a good idea. For all we know, you could end up under it.))
Eta looked down.
"... I knew I was forgetting something."
Damn that soft fuzzy carpet-like grass. I totally forgot about shoes. Oh well, maybe I can make some gold ones?
"What is going on here? Where did everybody go? And why are you emitting what I am hoping is flour out of your nose?" The first two questions were more general, while the last one was directed at Joanie.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 19, 2014, 04:00:55 pm
Try using Coffee Mug Blasts - emitted out of the seat of my pants if possible, if not just point backwards best I can - to clear the dentists from my path! If that don't work, use Pillar of Inexplicable Rouge Bats, if I can use it to punch a hole through to the surface or something.
((Welp, I might die here. Ah well, luck always was extremely polar with me.))
[Your affinity roll: 1-->5+1]
You can't blast. Oh crap, you can't blast. You're going to die here. You're almost sure you're going to die here. Time to make sure.
[Your affinity roll: 3+2]
Moved by your need to not die of suffocation, the magic relents, and comes easily to you as you make a last-ditch effort to save yourself - most inexplicably, there is now a pillar of condensed something right in front of you. You can't quite see. But you can hear it flap, however. It flaps most mysteriously, venting sweet, sweet air your way. Not a lot of it, obviously. But a bit, probably moving down the sides. You'd probably best not question it, as it seems to be working.
"Your buddy Oldthinker wants to talk to one. I've got a meeting with one, but I'm killing time until then."
"Oh. Wanna come over to the Sun?"
Eta looked down.
"... I knew I was forgetting something."
Damn that soft fuzzy carpet-like grass. I totally forgot about shoes. Oh well, maybe I can make some gold ones?
"What is going on here? Where did everybody go? And why are you emitting what I am hoping is flour out of your nose?" The first two questions were more general, while the last one was directed at Joanie.
Ivette seems to be the only one willing to answer any of your questions, although Menkau looks quite amused.
"Uh, the two girls went into the sewer after the big guy, Nigel went off on his own, and Hungry Pete's... just missing? I think?"
She seems to be very much aware of how this situation is entirely beyond her control, and looking quite unsure of herself as a result. Joanie, meanwhile, is incommunicable, seemingly quite into whatever she is doing. The pile of what you hope is flour now reaches up to her midsection.
Post by: Xantalos on September 19, 2014, 04:10:33 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on September 19, 2014, 05:25:09 pm
"Okay... Well why am I your "main man"? Am I like high priest of the denture god now or something?""Yeah. I was kind of hoping that I could form a treaty of sorts with the Gremlin Kings for giving them several deserts worth of porcelain. Oh well. So how does one treat their main man?"
"Like you'd treat a real good acquaintance, dude! As in, not kill them through overworking and whatnot. The rest, your guess is as good as mine."
Post by: Toaster on September 19, 2014, 08:55:20 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 20, 2014, 12:26:54 pm
"Okay... Well why am I your "main man"? Am I like high priest of the denture god now or something?"
"Nah, man. A 'priest' would be a guy telling people about how I'm an awesome guy people should worship, and framing all problems so that I encompass them. Mostly unhelpful stuff. Naw, what I'd like you to do is show people what you can do, do fun stuff around here, help me build a realm that isn't just slimy teeth flying all around, you know? You might have noticed already, but the place kind of sucks, let's not mince words. And you seem like you'd be able to help - you made a cool planet, then awakened me, and now you went ahead and made a moon for a moment... so yeah, you're my main man because there's no one else right now I can trust with my quests, you know?"
"I can think of a couple people I could get in here, aside from you, that could probably help with that, though. Alleviate the boredom a little, that kind of thing. Maybe build some more world-like structures in here, so that I have something to actually preside over. That kind of thing, yeah?"
The Gremlin Moon suddenly reappears behind the Denture God, cavorting madly through the space around the elemental being.
"Oh hey! Look at that! It's back!"
A moment passes, and the moon once more elongates and disappears.
"Aw."
"Sure, that sounds cool. I gotta be back here at 2, though."
"Oh. Hm. Maybe not the Sun, then. Time tends to go weird there. Maybe Mercury?"
Post by: Toaster on September 20, 2014, 12:29:02 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on September 20, 2014, 01:34:38 pm
"Hmm... now that I'm "attuned" to you or whatever do you think we have a psychic link or something? Cause if we do I kinda want to get on that moon next time it shows up to see where it goes. Also what can you do? Like what are the extents of your denture powers?""Okay... Well why am I your "main man"? Am I like high priest of the denture god now or something?"
"Nah, man. A 'priest' would be a guy telling people about how I'm an awesome guy people should worship, and framing all problems so that I encompass them. Mostly unhelpful stuff. Naw, what I'd like you to do is show people what you can do, do fun stuff around here, help me build a realm that isn't just slimy teeth flying all around, you know? You might have noticed already, but the place kind of sucks, let's not mince words. And you seem like you'd be able to help - you made a cool planet, then awakened me, and now you went ahead and made a moon for a moment... so yeah, you're my main man because there's no one else right now I can trust with my quests, you know?"
"I can think of a couple people I could get in here, aside from you, that could probably help with that, though. Alleviate the boredom a little, that kind of thing. Maybe build some more world-like structures in here, so that I have something to actually preside over. That kind of thing, yeah?"
The Gremlin Moon suddenly reappears behind the Denture God, cavorting madly through the space around the elemental being.
"Oh hey! Look at that! It's back!"
A moment passes, and the moon once more elongates and disappears.
"Aw."
Post by: Pancaek on September 20, 2014, 03:39:33 pm
Go with James and head back home, sleep off the drunkeness. Then use the magazine to recieve wonderful new spells.
Spoiler: john (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 21, 2014, 08:40:47 am
"Oh. Is that so? Well, let's just get that leyline then and get out of here. An important revelation has been made to me and I need to reflect on that. But first..."
Carefully approach Joanie and use my thumb and index finger to close her nose. See what happens.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 21, 2014, 03:15:31 pm
[THE DUNKER's mind roll: 5+1]
In any case, into the dream he goes, his being once more increasing in size, though becoming rather thin at the same time, his being flattening to the point where he becomes a translucent, vast, eyeless thing, cold beyond measure and powerful beyond compare, a great sail pushed forth perilously slowly by the light of distant stars, moving through the void at approximately walking speed. That is, in relation to the center of the universe. In relation to galaxies and other such things, he is moving quite rapidly indeed. Parts of him wander off occasionally, splitting away without issue and flying off on distant tangents. The central creature remains stable, and now boasts several billion offspring, being a rather early offshoot of the first of its kind.
He flies slowly onward, not even dimly aware of the giant formation of rock flying right toward him - were he to know, he would be elated, for this is what he has sought for all his time in the universe - a source of true sustenance. Within but a few minutes, the rocky thing impacts him - his flat, immense, mindboggling shape wraps around it imperceptibly, probing its surface. Self-sustaining chemical processes as well as rich sources of matter and energy are found. Nothing changes immediately, of course. It takes some time before he can work his magic on the rock and its affiliated chemicals - the process of digestion takes a while to get started, as it needs certain adaptations of the local conditions, a bit of physical wizardry to get the activation energies to a manageable level to maximize gain. The place will need to be warmed a bit, the magnetic field requires a bit of adjustment, perhaps a small amount of radiation needs to be filtered off to optimize things. Fortunately, while he is not gaining anything thus far, he already finds this planet quite delicious, and predicts that it will be more so once his forming apparatus takes its full shape and begins to function properly. And so he settles for a few thousand years or so, knowing that he's going to be quite fat indeed when he's done here at last.
Spoiler: THE DUNKER's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Larry guesses Mercury is an okay enough place for him to be - it is, after all, where he might wind up eventually.
"Yeah, sure. Sun next time."
"Right, meet you there - make sure you call me when you're there, and I'll go ahead and find you, 'kay? I need to go do a thing right now, and you can kind of move around freely anyway, right?"
* * * * *
Dave ponders what this new link he has to the Denture God actually does - sure, it gives him power, but what else?
"Hmm... now that I'm "attuned" to you or whatever do you think we have a psychic link or something? Cause if we do I kinda want to get on that moon next time it shows up to see where it goes. Also what can you do? Like, what are the extents of your denture powers?"
"I guess we do, on some level. I think I can talk to you or something, anyhow, and if not, I can probably figure some alternative out. As for what else I can do, I dunno. Not much, I guess, at least not much that's too interesting. I think that some denture people might listen to me, but I haven't tested that yet. I'm a bit new to this god thing, all in all."
* * * * *
John has had quite enough of this, and decides to take Menkau's advice and split.
"Yeah. Let's go James, this place is getting a bit too weird for me. I'll catch you later then Menkau, you'll know where to find me, I'm sure."
"We're finally leaving? Thank heavens," James says, sighing heavily with relief, and John and he leave together, Menkau waving to them in a friendly fashion as they walk off down the block, past a curiously abandoned police cordon and into the streets.
Not long after, John has found his bed and James has found an adequate couch, and both of them go into a deep sleep - for John it is altogether more dreamless than is strictly usual, and the very next morning he awakens, shockingly without a hangover of any sort!
However, backing up a bit in the temporal sense, we come back to Eta, who has a silly idea.
"Oh. Is that so? Well, let's just get that leyline then and get out of here. An important revelation has been made to me and I need to reflect on that. But first..."
Ivette watches as Eta walks over to the transfixed, seated form of Joanie, and closes her nose with her thumb and index finger.
[Joanie's body roll: 2+1-1]
A moment passes before Joanie's eyes, suddenly aware of things around her, go quite wide, staring out at Eta with wild alarm. Disturbed quite thoroughly, it takes her a moment before she can desperately slap Eta's hand away in a rather unpleasant fashion. A sizable quantity of the powder slips out of her nose, and her first, drunken instinct on what to do when her nose is all plugged up appears to be to sniff, a maneuver that leads to her nasally absorbing an 8 ball of cocaine in one snort.
[Joanie's body roll: 2]
"Oh... dear," she mouths, her breathing quickening, her pupils dilating. She seems to still be breathing through her nose as well. "Oh... boy."
She leans back unsteadily, supporting herself on her hands as yet more of the powder runs out of her nose, an uncontrolled flood. Her brain appears to be having trouble processing the rather large dose of opiates.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on September 21, 2014, 03:42:54 pm
Post by: Toaster on September 21, 2014, 04:02:46 pm
Larry shrugged. Might as well give it a shot.
Head to Mercury?
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 22, 2014, 09:42:31 am
I guess that should teach her summoning drugs is a bad idea. Especially when they are coming out of your nose.
Still, I can't leave her like this. But that doesn't mean I won't at least try to take some precautions in case she harbours any ill will.
...
Who am I kidding, that girl is definitely going to stab me.
"This should teach you not to summon drugs.
Now, if I heal you, do you promise you will behave? Help me with whatever I need? And be a nicer person in general?"
Not that Eta had any idea how to heal her. But maybe one of her new companions could help.
She knew that this was probably a very bad idea but she couldn't let that woman die.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 22, 2014, 12:10:16 pm
"Well that's interesting. Do you have any intuitive knowledge of your nature? if so please tell me. Also let's see if you can manipulate the flow of dentures. If not it may be hard to get to the moon."
You notice the dentures beginning to waft in a more organized way far off in the distance. You're still kind of orbiting the Denture God, though, and not in direct contact with any of them.
"I guess I can, yeah. Not too well, though. Just a bit."
Erm... Whoops. Thought that would just make the spell stop.
I guess that should teach her summoning drugs is a bad idea. Especially when they are coming out of your nose.
Still, I can't leave her like this. But that doesn't mean I won't at least try to take some precautions in case she harbours any ill will.
...
Who am I kidding, that girl is definitely going to stab me.
"This should teach you not to summon drugs.
Now, if I heal you, do you promise you will behave? Help me with whatever I need? And be a nicer person in general?"
Not that Eta had any idea how to heal her. But maybe one of her new companions could help.
She knew that this was probably a very bad idea but she couldn't let that woman die.
Joanie tilts her head a bit, and gets to her feet, beginning to breathe through her mouth. She doesn't say anything, just stares at you levelly, looking unsteady, yet also very jittery. One of her eyes is twitching, and her eyes are wild. The flow of cocaine slows to a trickle, then stops.
Post by: lawastooshort on September 23, 2014, 08:12:04 am
Well. This… this was amazing, thought Benjamin Halesey the Living Potato Vortex. He’d actually witnessed death by potato! And now he was part potato, part vortex. He wondered briefly if he was still part Halesey. There was potato. There was vortex. There was presumably still physical parts of Halesey, for he could see, which indicated the existence of eyes.
He was a bit irritated about Nigel, and the more he thought about this, the more he was irritated with himself for not learning how to locate potatoes. Damn.
He hummed gently to himself for a minute or two, finding it impossible to remain irritated when such a large part of whatever he now was was formed of the essence of God. Was he physically enlightened now?
Cast Empathise With Potatoes! Direct this at the potatoes in the vortexes that form part of me.
Spoiler: Benjamin, Living Potato Vortex and Wielder of the Adult Literature of Death (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 23, 2014, 12:38:47 pm
Wait to see what happens. Prepare to play Wild Gunman (http://youtu.be/ROmVSKZlRo0) with Golden High Heels, in case she doesn't appreciate my little joke.
Post by: Pancaek on September 23, 2014, 12:49:41 pm
John gets out of bed and walks to the kitchen area.
"Hey James, you want breakfast?"
Try and scrounge up some breakfast, invite James if he wants in on it. THen read the magazine to recieve new spells
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 23, 2014, 01:26:30 pm
"You're trying to make my head explode with your mind, aren't you? C'mon my offer for healing still stands."
Wait to see what happens. Prepare to play Wild Gunman (http://youtu.be/ROmVSKZlRo0) with Golden High Heels, in case she doesn't appreciate my little joke.
She starts quickly nodding, eyes still wild.
"Go ahead and do it, if you're going to," she says, beginning to nod repeatedly. She's rather flushed right now, and twitching considerably.
"How are you going to heal her?" Ivette, silent up to this point, asks with a bit of curiosity.
"Magic, duh," says Menkau.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on September 23, 2014, 02:33:35 pm
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 24, 2014, 02:17:58 pm
"Come here Caradog. I need some help with healing, Caradog. And I might have a deal for you Caradog."
Let's hope this works.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 24, 2014, 03:07:13 pm
Okay. Healing. How to heal? I could try the matches, but that is random. It could take a while, but I don't have that time. I could ask my new companion, but I don't want to ask something like that from him so soon. I don't want him to think I'm using him. Or that I am weak, that I need him. But I know another magical being. One that might have some experience in making deals. And a deal could be useful right now. So...
"Come here Caradog. I need some help with healing, Caradog. And I might have a deal for you Caradog."
Let's hope this works.
Within but a second, you become aware of a presence next to you. And, sure enough, there's Caradog, looking as leathery, having eyes as milky and smelling as much of cigarette smoke as ever.
"Hey! Did I hear something about a deal? And healing?"
"Ack!" Ivette jumps back at the sudden, inexplicable appearance of the demonic fellow.
"Who's that? What's a Caradog?" Joanie asks, scratching her head nervously.
"Caradog's good for you. Into each life some Caradog must fall!"
"And I'm Caradog. But you may call me Clive!" Caradog relates to the group, moving to assume the physical center of this conversation rather than merely the center of attention. "So, healing, deals, what's the business?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 24, 2014, 03:50:51 pm
My friend here, Joanie, seems to be suffering from an accidental drug overdose I might be somewhat related to. So now Joanie requires medical attention.
But I also fear that my good friend Joanie might have a bit of a... shall we say, temper problem. So, you see, I do find it a bit hard to trust she won't attempt to do anything bad to me. So here is what I propose:
You heal her and make sure she stays healthy, make sure she doesn't suffer any ill effects from this drug overdose as long as she keeps her end of the bargain.
But if she causes harm to me in any way, then I have the right to ask from you to make sure she can never do that again. And you can make that happen in any way you want.
And if she kills me or otherwise manages to make me unable to contact you, then you can do whatever you want with her.
What do you say? Good idea? Are you willing to do that? Got any suggestions?"
Let's see if either of them will spot the problem with that deal...
Then again, I did leave some points rather vague, which means he can twist it against me if he wants.
I guess I'll just have to trust him to be fair. Or at least hope he has more to gain out of me than out of her.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 25, 2014, 06:44:58 am
"Thank you for coming so quickly Clive. The predicament we are in is really quite simple.
My friend here, Joanie, seems to be suffering from an accidental drug overdose I might be somewhat related to. So now Joanie requires medical attention.
But I also fear that my good friend Joanie might have a bit of a... shall we say, temper problem. So, you see, I do find it a bit hard to trust she won't attempt to do anything bad to me. So here is what I propose:
You heal her and make sure she stays healthy, make sure she doesn't suffer any ill effects from this drug overdose as long as she keeps her end of the bargain.
But if she causes harm to me in any way, then I have the right to ask from you to make sure she can never do that again. And you can make that happen in any way you want.
And if she kills me or otherwise manages to make me unable to contact you, then you can do whatever you want with her.
What do you say? Good idea? Are you willing to do that? Got any suggestions?"
Let's see if either of them will spot the problem with that deal...
Then again, I did leave some points rather vague, which means he can twist it against me if he wants.
I guess I'll just have to trust him to be fair. Or at least hope he has more to gain out of me than out of her.
"It's pretty doable, I guess. Heal her, create a binding agreement, prepare for retribution in case of fuckery, yeah, pretty simple stuff. I guess I can put her back into a serviceable state. You want to maybe add some other people you don't want dead or harmed to that deal? Or maybe some other clauses? After all, she kind of has few alternatives at this point," Clive says, gesturing with his cigar at Joanie.
"Fuck you, no binding agreements!" Joanie shouts, beginning to step away from your group. "I'm not gonna go and enslave myself to you, or anyone! That's not how this works!"
"That's the spirit, Joanie! Fight the power!" Menkau says condescendingly.
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 25, 2014, 08:55:29 pm
"Other than that, no, nothing else. I'm just doing this to protect myself and others. I don't want her to be my slave or anything. If she can't abide to something so simple, then she can let herself die for all I care."
"I've got way more important things to worry about right now." she added and glanced at Menkau.
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 26, 2014, 05:40:51 pm
* * * * *
Halesey is amazed at the miracles of the vortex, the potato and himself, a joint miracle, if you will. All of which seem to be himself, somehow, like a holy trinity of some kind. It almost makes sense. But it doesn't quite make sense yet! He must make sense of it personally, and there is only one good way on hand, and that is the noble art of potato empathy.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5+1-1]
And it does begin to make more sense shortly as he opens his mind to the vortex potatoes, becoming not just the vortex, but also the potatoes, sharing in their feelings fully, including the paralyzed, screaming ones frozen in place by that Nigel fellow. It's slightly disturbing at first, but the presence of potatoes that rub up against his tender mortal brain in an emotional fashion pacify him further, elevating the potato prophet to a level of tranquility usually only attained on picturesque mountain peaks or infinite lands of dust and flatness. All is well, he feels, despite the way he still can't move at all.
* * * * *
John, disappointed about his rather hale and hearty state of health, resolves to drink himself to death more efficiently in the future. But first, breakfast! Out of bed with a spring in his step, he locates James, who appears to be up already and seems to have prepared a breakfast at that. French toast and maple syrup, it seems like, plus fruit and coffee. Relatively fresh fruit, too, probably bought not very long ago, and certainly not by John.
"I, uh, kind of got hungry and you weren't up yet. You don't mind, right?"
John really doesn't, he guesses. At least James here is earning his keep. Breakfast immediately ensues, leaving John filled with quite a bit of energy. Energy that he would really like to expend, naturally - and what better way to do this than to try out some new magical shenanigans? Opening the mag, John stares at its secrets.
[John's mind roll: 5+1]
Rich in carbohydrates as he is, John finds little to no challenge in the catching of spheres that follows - picking out three of the more interesting-looking ones, he catches them and, without even waiting for a normal expiration time for the vision, swims right back out into the real world, the feeling of being so very on top of things becoming mildly surreal. Is this what happiness feels like, perhaps?
Spoiler: John's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Dave, faced with the problem of a runaway moon, has a brilliant idea. It involves vortexes primarily, and dimensional gerrymandering secondarily. His upper lip quivers inquisitively as his hands work on violating the fabric of space for personal gain, binding the very doors between planes to do what he wants them to!
[Dave's affinity roll: 4]
One small vortex appears immediately - it points to an empty street. Through it, Dave prepares to unleash the next vortex!
[Dave's affinity roll: 3]
An even smaller vortex does he manage to manifest inside the first one - on the material plane, to be specific. Unfortunately for him, the small hole, while no doubt able to host him, merely leads to an area a few meters away in the Denture Dimension, lending some credence to the idea that there is some correspondence between a location on Earth and a location in this place. Perhaps not absolute correspondence, but some form of correspondence nevertheless.
* * * * *
Eta, being a concerned citizen, but not quite concerned enough to try and help somebody as obviously bloody-minded as the girl currently experiencing a massive cocaine overdose, continues speaking to Clive, largely ignoring Joanie.
"Yeah, I suppose I'd like to add my friends to that protection. I'd like to refrain from revealing their names to her. Both because I don't want her to know who they are and because that might cause her to think twice before deciding to hurt someone. Other than that, no, nothing else. I'm just doing this to protect myself and others. I don't want her to be my slave or anything. If she can't abide to something so simple, then she can let herself die for all I care. I've got way more important things to worry about right now," she says, glancing at Menkau, who gives her a thumbs-up before looking away.
"Yeah, screw all this for a lark, I'm outta here!" Joanie yells, and then immediately runs off.
"Oh, what a shame. Say, Eta, wanna maybe make a deal for protection, provided by me, in exchange for a favor later on? In case she makes it through the night alive, I mean. Who knows, right?" Clive offers.
"Uh, Eta, who is this guy, anyway?" Ivette asks. "And where'd he come from?"
"I came from nowhere. Weren't you paying attention?" Clive laughs. "Materialized out of thin air according to the whims of my dark mistress, ya know?"
Ivette looks dubiously at Eta upon hearing this remark.
Post by: Toaster on September 26, 2014, 07:52:00 pm
"Not working, Cal. Sup?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 26, 2014, 08:37:33 pm
Am I a horrible person? Or was this something that had to be done?
"Oh, I dunno, 'dark mistress'? I don't think I'm appropriately dressed for that." Eta mumbled.
She continued in a louder tone, although still a bit lacking in emotion.
"Sorry, where are my manners. Ivette, Clive. Clive, Ivette. Clive is the guy I was talking to you about. When we met near the memorial."
Should I had healed her regardless? Should I had killed her right here and right now?
"Anyway, I don't know about that, Clive. She disappeared into the night while cursing me. That's recurring villain material. And every story needs a villain. Except if I am the villain. Maybe I need to not be protected so that I can be killed."
Eta hid her face in her palm as she tried to get her thoughts in order.
"I'm sorry. I'm not thinking straight. I feel like I was just got hit on the head with a hammer. Too many things to think about."
She sighed.
"Just make sure my friends are protected. Ivette, Lois, all of them. If she survives and decides to seek revenge, I want her to go after me. Not them. I'll... I'll figure it out myself when the time comes. Can you do that? And what would you want in exchange? How big a favour are we talking about?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 27, 2014, 03:53:36 am
Fuck all that.
"Not working, Cal. Sup?"
"I dunno. Try doing hops in order, maybe? Detour through the Moon, I mean."
There she goes...
Am I a horrible person? Or was this something that had to be done?
"Oh, I dunno, 'dark mistress'? I don't think I'm appropriately dressed for that." Eta mumbled.
She continued in a louder tone, although still a bit lacking in emotion.
"Sorry, where are my manners. Ivette, Clive. Clive, Ivette. Clive is the guy I was talking to you about. When we met near the memorial."
Should I had healed her regardless? Should I had killed her right here and right now?
"Oh. Hello, Clive," she says quietly.
"It's lovely to meet you, Ivette," Clive says sweetly, leaning toward her in a mixture of creeping and bowing. Ivette shivers, and Clive chuckles.
"Anyway, I don't know about that, Clive. She disappeared into the night while cursing me. That's recurring villain material. And every story needs a villain. Except if I am the villain. Maybe I need to not be protected so that I can be killed."
Eta hid her face in her palm as she tried to get her thoughts in order.
"I'm sorry. I'm not thinking straight. I feel like I was just got hit on the head with a hammer. Too many things to think about."
She sighed.
"Just make sure my friends are protected. Ivette, Lois, all of them. If she survives and decides to seek revenge, I want her to go after me. Not them. I'll... I'll figure it out myself when the time comes. Can you do that? And what would you want in exchange? How big a favour are we talking about?"
"Not a real big favor. Maybe something like delivering a message to the big cheese somewhere down the line, that sort of thing. Nothing overly dangerous, considering I might not need to do anything at all, you know? Anywho, can I get a list of people I need to keep tabs on, who they are and where can I find them?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on September 27, 2014, 11:49:39 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 27, 2014, 09:22:41 pm
Lois should be at the hospital, I'll go pick her up later. Ivette is right here, I don't know if there is anything she is willing to share with you. I'll leave it up to her. As for John, I don't know much about him, but if Menkau knows anything and wants to share..."
Is it sad that I know so little about the people I am trying to protect?
Post by: Toaster on September 27, 2014, 10:57:30 pm
Detour through the Moon?
Post by: Pancaek on September 30, 2014, 02:10:17 pm
"Nah, it's cool. You know, that whole leyline thing is pretty bollocks. I don't really feel like going back to that manhole and trying to get to it again. What about you, what do you want to do James?"
Spoiler: john (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 30, 2014, 02:59:02 pm
"I don't think she might target anyone beyond Ivette and Lois. I mean, sure, she could cause harm to others, but I bet even someone with your power is probably unable to protect the whole world. I don't see any reason for her to target John and his friend, but if the price wouldn't be much higher then I would like to protect those too.
Lois should be at the hospital, I'll go pick her up later. Ivette is right here, I don't know if there is anything she is willing to share with you. I'll leave it up to her. As for John, I don't know much about him, but if Menkau knows anything and wants to share..."
Is it sad that I know so little about the people I am trying to protect?
"Yeah, I can sort of get a read on all of them from you. So you've got a deal there. Protection for all of them from Joanie in return for a favor later. Done. So, is that all? I've got stuff to do, ya know?" Clive says, making a gesture similar to checking his watch, only to be disappointed to find none on. His face momentarily turns sour, and the skin of his wrist bubbles a bit, a few folds of it clumping together and producing a set of tendrils arranged similarly to a less-than-classy timepiece. He smiles and nods his head appreciatively, pointing at it with his hand, showing it to both you and Ivette, and also Menkau to a degree.
"Doesn't that hurt?" Ivette asks.
"That only makes it cooler!" Clive says.
John eats some breakfast. He couldn't remember the last time he had breakfast, let alone a relatively healthy one like this.
"Nah, it's cool. You know, that whole leyline thing is pretty bollocks. I don't really feel like going back to that manhole and trying to get to it again. What about you, what do you want to do James?"
"I'd like to... go for a walk, maybe. To the woods... in the city... just anywhere, I guess."
He tilts his head as he looks at the ceiling thoughtfully.
"And, uh... no offense or anything, but I'd like to go... alone, okay?"
Post by: Pancaek on September 30, 2014, 03:21:40 pm
"Right, so, I've got no problem with that. Personally. But you realize I kind of promised I'd keep you safe right? And I made that promise to a really, really powerful being. So I'd appreciate it if you could elaborate just a little bit on where you're going. Because if you decide to dissapear on me, we'll both be in big trouble."
John sighs and puts down his toast.
"What I'm trying to say, James, is that I'm worried. About you, mostly. I just want to make sure that you won't go and do something stupid. You've been to some hard shit lately. Believe me, I know, I lost most of my memories when I first got into this magical bullshit. So just....come back safe, okay? You're one of the two only friends I've got left, and I'm tired of losing friends."
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 30, 2014, 03:28:02 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on September 30, 2014, 03:30:46 pm
John uses the piece of toast he's eating to point at James
"Right, so, I've got no problem with that. Personally. But you realize I kind of promised I'd keep you safe right? And I made that promise to a really, really powerful being. So I'd appreciate it if you could elaborate just a little bit on where you're going. Because if you decide to dissapear on me, we'll both be in big trouble."
John sighs and puts down his toast.
"What I'm trying to say, James, is that I'm worried. About you, mostly. I just want to make sure that you won't go and do something stupid. You've been to some hard shit lately. Believe me, I know, I lost most of my memories when I first got into this magical bullshit. So just....come back safe, okay? You're one of the two only friends I've got left, and I'm tired of losing friends."
"Well, yeah. I am going to come back. It's just that... I kind of like being alone a lot of the time, you know? Honestly, I'm, well, more worried about what you'll do while I'm gone."
"Just one more thing. Got any shoes?"
"I might know a guy. Wh-" he begins, looking reflexively at your feet. "Oh, I see. You want them to do anything fancy, or just look and maybe feel good?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on September 30, 2014, 03:43:54 pm
Post by: Pancaek on September 30, 2014, 04:17:15 pm
"Nah man, don't worry about me. The worst that I'll do is drink myself half to death. I'm probably just going to stay home today, the last couple of days have been way too hectic for my tastes.
How long do you reckon that you'll be gone? If you're coming back around noon, would you mind picking up something to eat on your way back?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 01, 2014, 04:48:21 am
"At this point, I wouldn't mind if they were flip-flops. Just something to keep my feet protected until I get to this leyline and then back to my... place. But if you want to give me anything fancier, be my guest. As long as they don't explode or do anything harmful to me or others."
"Okay. Be right back, then," Clive says and disappears in a puff of smoke.
"So, are we going to look for the leyline now?"
John bites off another piece of toast and munches it for a bit
"Nah man, don't worry about me. The worst that I'll do is drink myself half to death. I'm probably just going to stay home today, the last couple of days have been way too hectic for my tastes.
How long do you reckon that you'll be gone? If you're coming back around noon, would you mind picking up something to eat on your way back?"
"I dunno. Maybe an hour, maybe three? I'll be back a bit after noon, probably."
Post by: lawastooshort on October 01, 2014, 07:28:26 am
I am potato, thought Halesey. So…
Try to persuade all the potatoes holding me still to let me, their brother potato, go.
If this fails:
Repeatedly cast Enchant Potato until I have Enchanted every single Potato holding me in place.
Spoiler: Benjamin, Living Potato Vortex and Wielder of the Adult Literature of Death (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on October 01, 2014, 02:02:54 pm
Lend him some money if he doesn't have any on him. Then crash on the couch and watch some tv. Flip to the news channel first to see if there's anything interesting on, otherwise go to the discovery channel/national geographic
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on October 01, 2014, 04:45:24 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 01, 2014, 05:13:04 pm
((How come as far as I've noticed I'm the only one who can forgo dumb systems of gaining unfathomable power even though some folks are more powerful than me? is it my crazy mind score?))
That depends on what you mean by forgoing dumb systems of gaining unfathomable power, I would suppose.
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 01, 2014, 07:28:03 pm
Let's try the "blue skeleton pit plan" again, but this time try to aim it directly at the manhole and then make it follow the sewers spreading away from it.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on October 02, 2014, 09:54:44 am
((I meant how I no longer need matches.))((How come as far as I've noticed I'm the only one who can forgo dumb systems of gaining unfathomable power even though some folks are more powerful than me? is it my crazy mind score?))
That depends on what you mean by forgoing dumb systems of gaining unfathomable power, I would suppose.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 02, 2014, 11:39:16 am
((I meant how I no longer need matches.))
Oh, that. I suppose your Mind score certainly helps, yes.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on October 02, 2014, 12:12:27 pm
((How come no one else like Larry or Halesey who've been here since the start can do that?))((I meant how I no longer need matches.))
Oh, that. I suppose your Mind score certainly helps, yes.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 02, 2014, 12:40:54 pm
((How come no one else like Larry or Halesey who've been here since the start can do that?))
It's mostly because they've never needed to. Up until this moment, anyway, in Halesey's case.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 02, 2014, 01:47:54 pm
((How come no one else like Larry or Halesey who've been here since the start can do that?))
It's mostly because they've never needed to. Up until this moment, anyway, in Halesey's case.
((and there I was believing I had come up with a decent solution :( ))
Post by: lawastooshort on October 09, 2014, 06:59:53 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 11, 2014, 05:54:29 am
Then, when the spell does not immediately lay itself bare before him in sheer admiration for his intellect, he instead tries to get at the meat of its meaning, the things implied by the ideas of dentures and vortex - primarily vortex, since he knows what dentures are already, and from what he can tell, there are few surprises to be discovered there. And the vortex part does take some working on before it begins to yield worthwhile information.
Firstly, it targets a point in space, around which, according to the level of... adaptation, Dave would say, a sphere is arbitrarily designated, with variations in size often being slightly situational in accordance with original intent. This sphere, as it is perceived in three-dimensional space, has a counterpart in another instance of three-dimensional space, all placed on a single axis as far as Dave can tell. So it's a connector between two points in four-dimensional space, possibly utilizing a fifth, slightly rolled-up dimension of space to facilitate quick travel. Suction is achieved in the direction of the point connecting to the denture world. One point of the connector is anchored to the designated point, which corresponds to a particular set of 4D coordinates. The other point is anchored to the same 3D coordinates, but the fourth coordinate changes. There's sort of an 'if-then' deal here - if the fourth coordinate is not 114722, with no particular unit stated, then the fourth coordinate is set as 114722, which Dave assumes to correspond with the Denture Dimension, else the fourth coordinate is set as 0, which apparently corresponds to the normal world.
However! Dave does notice another thing. The coordinates, as they are set, seem to be centered on the center of city - the city that all the magic is happening in, as it happens, and the name of which currently escapes him for some reason, and the third coordinate, when traveling back, is neglected altogether, and the vortex just deposits things above ground most of the time. The coordinates appear to correspond to a plane touching the point of return, somewhat taking into account the curvature of the Earth and obstacles. Guess the adjustment's kind of necessary, given that only a very narrow segment of the Earth's atmosphere about nine or so meters thick would be possible for him to survive landing in, and only three meters of that layer would be even vaguely comfortable to find oneself in.
* * * * *
Larry, guessing this plan is as good as any to try next, attempts to detour to Mercury through the Moon, despite how little sense that would make from a physics standpoint. He finds, unsurprisingly, that this seems to work better - over a matter of a minute or so, he finds that he has faded onto the Moon, which is desolate, dusty, abrasive, but mercifully bereft of any and all whining souls of the inconstant. In the distance, Larry can hear explosions. Probably nothing to worry about, though, so he just moves to Mercury in a similar fashion, finding himself on its blasted, rather disappointingly Moon-esque surface.
At a glance, there's not much around. A closer look nearly confirms this impression, were it not for the rather artificial-looking pit Larry can see about a hundred meters away - it's a round hole in the ground circled by gleaming objects of metal, it seems, with a bit of smoke coming out of it.
Alternatively, Larry thinks he can also perceive something further away - an irregularity in the horizon. A structure, mayhap? Looks pretty unusual, in any case.
* * * * *
Halesey, currently in a very potato-centered state of mind, tries to communicate with his brother/sister tubers, hoping to persuade them to break free of their immobile state. He starts first with a short introduction of himself - it is very short, for he is potato and he is vortex, with a smidgen of Halesey around the fringes. That is adequately self-explanatory. And with this in mind, the potatoes probably should listen to what he's saying - and what he's saying just so happens to be that these potatoes should bar him from movement no longer - their purpose has been adequately served, as all infidels are now banished or at the very least gruesomely murdered, and that they should probably leave off him already. It is obviously getting to be quite annoying at this point, Halesey explains, and he has clearly overcome the crux of the challenge in question.
Perhaps in response, the potatoes eventually do start moving about once more, no longer frozen in place by the magic wrought by that awful, if possibly well-intentioned Nigel. He is free! Free to do all the vortex things he has ever dreamed of doing!
* * * * *
John supposes that James can go where he likes - after all, just because he's going to be taking it easy today doesn't mean James has to.
"All right then, if you don't have cash on you take some of mine and pick up something to eat on your way back, would you? I'm just going to stay home and have a day off from the magical bullshit. I'll keep me cell nearby, if you need to call for some reason. Have fun."
"Right. Be back in a bit," James says, borrowing about forty bucks from his buddy, then promptly leaving. He'll probably be alright, John guesses as he turns on the TV, only to find that the cable seems to be out, providing John access to not much more than some local UHF channels and some less esoteric stuff as well. Main story on the news, John discovers, appears to be the sudden appearance of a massive toothy citadel near his neighborhood.
Looking out the window, John confirms that this is indeed the case. He must have been rather drunk to miss that last night, or at least he doesn't recall seeing it so clearly. It was dark, though, and the thing doesn't seem like it has very good illumination, or electricity at all, for that matter.
As for science channels, there's pretty much none. The Learning Channel persists for some unclear reason, you find, but other than that it's just local TV. Channels 97, 83 and 55 are currently broadcasting programming, in ascending order of weirdness, unusually enough, and the rest appears to be daytime workday TV. That is to say, rather awful.
* * * * *
Eta realizes that she as well as all others here are probably overstaying their welcome significantly. Things need to be done, and they need to be done fast!
"Yeah, let's just get it and get out of here. It's been a long day."
She turns to the nearby manhole and attempts to make another pit of blue skeletons, centering her magic on the nearby manhole.
[Eta's affinity roll: 2+1]
The best she can manage, though, is widening the manhole a tad as well as filling the bottom of the sewer with twitching, moving blue skeletons, who seem rather displeased at the way they are more or less submerged in raw sewage. The pit, she notices, does not seem to respond at all to her desire to make it spread out, unless the widening counts.
"I think I'll just go down there and take a look," Ivette says, walking doubtfully toward the manhole cover. "The filth will probably wash off eventually."
"Worth a shot, I would say!" Menkau agrees. "After all, three people already went down there and did not come back yet, so what could possibly go wrong?"
Ivette sighs indecisively in response, only to be interrupted by the sudden appearance of the head of Hungry Pete from the manhole, his balding head taking a deep breath of air as he reemerges from the foul depths. Clambering out fully, he rolls off to the side of the manhole, lying on the ground, facing upward with a contented expression as he pants his way into a better-oxygenated state.
"I was wondering where he went!" Menkau says.
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on October 11, 2014, 11:09:18 am
Pretty lame of Cal to not be waiting for the most important mage in the universe.
What's in the pit? Check that out on the way to the other structure.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on October 11, 2014, 03:07:22 pm
I try and get some more denture related spells.
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 12, 2014, 08:19:38 am
I try and get some more denture related spells.
You can't choose dentures just yet, unfortunately. Your connections are not powerful enough!
Post by: lawastooshort on October 12, 2014, 11:10:23 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 13, 2014, 12:47:55 pm
"What's going on down there? Everything all right?"
I should go down there. They may need my help.
...
Maybe there's a man eating monster down there.
...
Or maybe the manhole itself is actually the mouth of the man eating monster and will swallow me whole the moment I venture too deep. With all the things I've seen and learnt lately, I don't consider it to be impossible.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 13, 2014, 01:29:39 pm
Gah! How the hell does he keep doing that? Freaking ninja cultist.
"What's going on down there? Everything all right?"
I should go down there. They may need my help.
...
Maybe there's a man eating monster down there.
...
Or maybe the manhole itself is actually the mouth of the man eating monster and will swallow me whole the moment I venture too deep. With all the things I've seen and learnt lately, I don't consider it to be impossible.
Hungry Pete just sighs contently. Clearly, he is touched by the finger of God.
"He looks okay," Ivette says, kneeling down to look him over. "Relatively speaking."
"He's probably just tuckered out from all that-" Menkau begins, but suddenly a sound rings out, and a bright point of light appears on his chest.
Time seems to go in slow motion as the point increases rapidly in size, a spiderweb of cracks running along Menkau's body, who begins to raise one of his fingers as if to provide some form of snappy remark, but does not get all that far before everything goes white and soundless. A shockwave takes you off your feet almost immediately afterward, your ears starting to ring.
[Your body roll: 3]
You hit the ground painfully, rolling, then skidding to a stop on the rough asphalt. A significant part of your body feels like it is burning. In fact, it may very well be burning. You start rolling, just in case, but that hurts a lot as well. You can't hear anything.
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 13, 2014, 04:10:10 pm
Good thing I got that point in body, at least.
Now, which spell to use?
Electric Sponge Form/Pitiful Underwear Vortex/Pit of Blue Skeletons/Highly Explosive Thylacine Pillar/Volley of Golden High Heels/Caradog:2
Okay then, Eta can't start using vortexes blindly since that would be irresponsible, so retreat into the pitiful underwear dimension it is.))
Keep rolling. If possible, try to get an idea of what's going on.
At the first opportunity, create a Pitiful Underwear Vortex under me so that I can escape from whatever is burning me through it.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 14, 2014, 10:48:55 am
Keep rolling. If possible, try to get an idea of what's going on.
At the first opportunity, create a Pitiful Underwear Vortex under me so that I can escape from whatever is burning me through it.
You're pretty sure you can't hear much right now, or see. But it doesn't seem overly dangerous, as the burning sensation begins to subside after you've rolled around a little bit. Nevertheless, just to be on the safe side, you decide to use a vortex to ensure that nothing kills you dead in the next few minutes. After all, whatever it was that happened, it's probably not likely to be the act of anything wishing good things upon you.
[Your affinity roll: 2]
You do find yourself somewhat unable to concentrate upon anything as simple as a vortex under these circumstances, however - well, you do produce a very tiny vortex to rest your head inside of. But that's the limit of what you're able to do in your frame of mind.
Fortunately, your hearing seems to be slowly returning along with your eyesight. Not much to be heard, although you do hear shuffling and Hungry Pete screaming not too far from you. You're also not on fire! Singed, but not on fire. Anymore, should be added. You probably were on fire a few moments ago. Menkau's nowhere to be seen, and where he stood, the pavement has cracked and broken, with a large hole in the center. You turn to look at the source of the screaming, and notice that Hungry Pete is still on fire despite Ivette's attempts to put him out. Ivette seems kind of okay, for her part, if dismayed at the sudden explosion shaking things up like it did.
Post by: Pancaek on October 14, 2014, 11:47:20 am
Read magaine and get wonderful new spells. Then take a nap until James comes back.
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Xantalos on October 14, 2014, 07:19:43 pm
Changed spells posted at bottom. Cast Chain of Intriguing Canned Goods behind me - out of the seat of my pants would be preferable, but if not then out of my hand/fingers facing towards where the tunnel widens. Attempt to wrap it around myself or adhere it to myself in some fashion, and attempt to command the dentists to pull me out of the predicament I'm in using said chain by promising them alcohol if they do it.
((I'm back! Sorry for the lack of postings; the DUNKER's mindset is a peculiar one that requires certain things in my environment to get into, and because I moved I didn't have those things. Now I do!))
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on October 14, 2014, 08:38:40 pm
((I'm back! Sorry for the lack of postings; the DUNKER's mindset is a peculiar one that requires certain things in my environment to get into, and because I moved I didn't have those things. Now I do!))
I'm morbidly curious.
Post by: Xantalos on October 14, 2014, 08:42:30 pm
Oh, and I regained access to copious amounts of donuts.
Post by: Toaster on October 14, 2014, 08:44:58 pm
Post by: Xantalos on October 14, 2014, 08:46:35 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 16, 2014, 01:36:51 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 17, 2014, 04:26:57 pm
As the large storm of dust Larry has kicked up behind him through his quick travel subsides, he approaches the tower to take a closer look - it is a great spike jutting up from the ground, its sides dotted with holes hinting at an entirely dark and deathly interior with their stillness.
And yet Larry feels like the tower has something to it - the silence around it is deeper than on the rest of Mercury and filled with curious meaning at that, all directed at the new arrival. Though he does not know how exactly he can perceive all this, he nevertheless can easily tell that the tower is listening.
* * * * *
Dave is determined to catch that strange moon he has devised, and to that end continues his research into avenues of magic.
[Dave's mind roll: 4+2]
A moment of introspection is all it takes, and Dave disappears into a world inside him, a world of five spatial dimensions that is quite frankly painful to think about for longer than a few moments. And yet a six-dimensional carrot awaits him at the end of a simple maze (five-dimensionally speaking, in four dimensions it is nigh-unsolvable, as Dave quickly discovers). It takes both him and his pig a good two minutes to agree on who takes which dimensions to consider, and to figure out a method of communicating to one another about them efficiently. The system, as it is, is quite ingenious - the pig closes its eyes and Dave hops around on one foot to get himself oriented in the first two dimensions, then lets the pig take control to handle the other three - the results are stupendously good when Dave manages to get through the entire thing in only five minutes, and nobody is more surprised at this than Dave's pig, especially when Dave gratefully feeds it the carrot at the very end, letting the feeling of teamwork well executed give way to forbidden magical knowledge as he returns to, oddly enough, a much stranger, if duller world.
Spoiler: Dave's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Halesey wills his way to God's vicinity, getting there in no time at all, though it's probably been some time already since he has last beheld God's glory - and He is looking glorious indeed today. In good health, too, which is good to know.
"I see you have both externalized the vortex within you and obtained a student, my prophet. You work without delay, and this pleases me," God tells him without much in the way of delay. Nigel's nowhere to be seen, though. "Be careful, however - another pilgrim approaches, and in a much less agreeable mood," God adds before Halesey can rightly ask which student exactly it might be referring to.
* * * * *
John does not feel like doing anything and instead lays on his couch as he peruses the magazine for some new and interesting spells to work with.
[John's mind roll: 3]
Just as his mind wraps up in itself, though, something seems to go a tad wrong. The slip is strange, the endpoint different than expected. The area all around is gray, and wherever he looks, there is only cow. Cow as far as the eye can see. Cow to the left and cow to the right, which seems a little familiar to John. Lots of cow-things on the side as well - cow-walls, cow-gardens, cow-prisons and cow-towers presiding over cow-towns. The mooing is quite deafening, imparting John with a singular piece of knowledge before he suddenly awakens.
Spoiler: John's New Spell (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, oxygenated to a point where he is ready for action once more, launches a new plan of action.
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 4+2]
A chain of canned goods that simply beg to be examined in more detail to determine the exact nature of the mystery meat contained within suddenly extends from the seat of the man's pants, interlocking cans forming a stiff rope that extends for a great distance behind, presumably reaching back toward the entrance to the sewer. Step one: magnificently successful!
"Dentists! To me! Save your master from this predicament!" he then commands the darkness behind him. "There will be booze in it for you!"
The lack of reply may indicate one of two things - either the dentists are long gone by now, or they have been eaten by no doubt nefarious creatures lurking in the sanitation system. Either way, this is a poor sign.
An even poorer sign is that he's pretty sure something exploded a little while ago topside, and that those girls shouting for him from afar seem to have gone a different way than they probably should have. Despite the way he called out to them several times. THE DUNKER would sigh, but that would mean taking a deep breath of where he is right now, something he's expertly avoided thus far.
* * * * *
Eta, wasting no time, walks up to Hungry Pete and starts kicking him absently to put the fire out - when this fails to help and only results in more yelling as well as Ivette protesting, she pushes him into the sewer, which he takes reasonably well, she supposes. Ivette, judging by the smell, must have taken a dive in there as well. By reflex, which is a bit impressive.
A look around reveals nothing of real interest around, at least nothing Eta didn't see before. The street, signs of explosion and conspicuous absence of Menkau aside, seems completely unchanged. If there was something responsible for that sudden explosion, it is staying well out of sight.
Suddenly, however, Eta becomes aware of something next to her - the smell alerts her first, cigar smoke and cheap cologne. Caradog. She turns to face him, noticing that he looks mighty pleased with himself for some reason. Probably that shoebox he's holding.
"Did something blow up while I was gone? You look like shit!" he says, pointing at you and grinning.
Post by: Xantalos on October 17, 2014, 04:44:41 pm
Engulf the chain in Green Mafiosi and ask them politely to pull the chain and thus me out of this narrow tunnel!
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 17, 2014, 07:53:15 pm
She sat down, hugged her knees, lowered her head and closed her eyes.
I... I don't know. I just don't know. I need to go away.
"What do you want?"
Post by: Toaster on October 17, 2014, 09:43:44 pm
"Sup, tower?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 18, 2014, 01:10:15 am
Oh for...
Engulf the chain in Green Mafiosi and ask them politely to pull the chain and thus me out of this narrow tunnel!
[Your affinity roll: 6-->3+2]
Your chain responds as mafiosi of all walks of life spawn into being, surrounding it with their bodies at, you're surprised to note, rather reasonable intervals. You order them to pull you away, and they promptly do, dragging your sorry bottom right back to the sewer entrance with due haste.
You notice Hungry Pete down here, looking under the weather and covered in sewage. He doesn't say much when he sees you.
"What gave it away? The burning or the giant scorch mark?" Eta replied sarcastically.
She sat down, hugged her knees, lowered her head and closed her eyes.
I... I don't know. I just don't know. I need to go away.
"What do you want?"
"Nothing! I was just gonna give you those shoes you asked for."
He hands you the shoebox quickly.
"And with that, back to business!" he says. You blink somewhere along the way afterward, and then he's gone.
Larry looked at the tower for a bit. Well, if it was listening...
"Sup, tower?"
A single eyestalk protrudes from a hole at the top of the tower, and a single tube comes out of an area at the bottom.
"The usual. Brilliance and invention," the tube tells you in a voice bordering on infrasound in its pitch. "Sup with you, dude?"
Post by: Xantalos on October 18, 2014, 01:36:32 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 18, 2014, 01:38:26 am
Hey Pete! Why're you down here?
"Some person pushed me down! But I was on fire, and now I'm not, so it's okay. I think I got some sewage up my nose, though."
Post by: Xantalos on October 18, 2014, 01:49:09 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 18, 2014, 01:52:45 am
Well, it's all temporary. Do you have any size-changing magic?
"I can call upon pie, if that helps."
Post by: Xantalos on October 18, 2014, 01:58:23 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 18, 2014, 02:07:37 am
Unfortunately, not really. Can you blast a way through these pipes? There's a leyline somewhere down here and I wants it.
"Oh! You're still looking for the finger of God? It is in there, yes. It is difficult to reach, for one must abandon outdated ideas of self-preservation to reach it. But putting faith in one's course and listening to the call of God will bring salvation and sweet air to breathe for but a moment."
He looks you in the eye, in obvious pain.
"It is a miraculous feeling, to be saved by the grace of God in the stygian darkness and suffocating death of the depths of these tunnels. I wish you the best in getting to experience it."
Post by: Xantalos on October 18, 2014, 02:22:14 am
Cast Inexplicable Pillar of Rouge Bats directly underneath the sewer entrance. Make it a thin one, so it doesn't block it up.
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 18, 2014, 05:32:28 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 18, 2014, 07:51:59 am
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 4+1]
At his call, a pillar of bats that his eyes barely process at first warbles into being as fifteen images of it collide in the same single spot like some form of sci-fi hologram. The pillar, though relatively narrow, shoots up and right out of the sewer, presumably to a rather great height as well.
Hungry Pete says nothing at this, and only attempts to nab a single can of food from his friend's chain-tail. Unfortunately for him, however, the tail holds fast and does not surrender its link to the man.
* * * * *
Eta opens up the shoebox gifted by Caradog, and within she observes a rather comfy-looking pair of sneakers, nothing at all suspicious to be gleaned from their appearance. Seeing no reason not to, she puts them on, feeling warmer and more civilized practically instantly.
However, her basking in the wonderful feeling of not walking around barefoot at night on cold pavement is interrupted by the warbling appearance of a tall, thin pillar of pink bats, hundreds of little wings beating to keep the structure straight and stable.
"What in god's name is happening down there?" Ivette wonders briefly, walking over to the manhole to look down. "Oh, it's the donut guy."
Post by: Xantalos on October 18, 2014, 11:21:57 am
Post by: Toaster on October 18, 2014, 10:21:49 pm
Larry has seen too much lately to let this put him off his game for more than a second.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 19, 2014, 03:47:36 am
"Uh... you know, casting spells, getting angel hookups. Seen Cal around here?"
Larry has seen too much lately to let this put him off his game for more than a second.
"Naw, man. Bob's around, though, probably chilling in his crib."
The tube draws closer to you, opening a little wider and touching the ground not too far away.
"Speaking of, come over here and step into my tube, dude. I'd like your opinion on this thing I'm doing."
Post by: Toaster on October 19, 2014, 12:29:48 pm
Hop in the obviously not a trap tube.
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 19, 2014, 01:15:26 pm
"Let's just get those out and if we can't reach that leyline, let's just fill the ground with holes until we can. Or just blow this place up. I don't think there are any other people around here."
Help the others out of the hole, if possible.
Post by: lawastooshort on October 19, 2014, 02:20:17 pm
"Ah - I think yon pilgrim may be my student, who is a little angry at becoming my student, and has not yet accepted his role... I shall observe his behaviour."
Look for somewhere to hide before yon pilgrim arrive. Possibly behind a giant potato.
Post by: Pancaek on October 20, 2014, 02:52:30 pm
Ask the magazine-spirit if it knows of a way to know how menkau is doing
Spoiler: john (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 24, 2014, 04:39:43 pm
After letting his giggle subside, he climbs on up the ladder in the most miserable fashion he can manage, followed closely by Hungry Pete. Fortunately, he doesn't even have to go up very far before his two newly-made woman-friends help him up, seemingly exerting themselves to a great degree to do so.
"Good god, you're heavy," Ivette notes, watching Hungry Pete's lithe, yet burnt form ascend the ladder in a haunted manner.
"Has the disaster ended?" he wonders, glancing all about. No sound is heard, and he dares to emerge a little further out, though still obviously looking not particularly secure.
"Okay, this is really starting to seem kind of confusing and dangerous. Can we just get out of here already? Or at least speed things up?" Ivette wonders aloud, looking at Eta hopefully.
* * * * *
Larry is not one to feel uneasy about entering holes, at least not until the morning after, and thus leaps into the trap tube confidently, finding it oddly comfortable for a mouth. If it is a mouth, of course. It feels more like a slide combined with a vacuum, and the faintly organic sounds are about to start tipping off his self-preservation instincts big time when he is ejected into what feels like a room made of stone, judging from the texture of the hard yet suspiciously warm floor.
"Here we are, bro! Look upon my works!"
A moment of silence during which Larry gets to fully appreciate that it is indeed pitch black in here as well as very humid, hot and lacking in particularly breathable air.
"Whaddaya think, man?"
* * * * *
Halesey strongly suspects he knows who the arrival may be, and informs God of what he believes - God merely rumbles knowingly, which Halesey takes as affirmation of his revelations. With this in mind, he hides - not difficult, considering he is mostly potato - he practically blends in with the surroundings without any kind of effort, and even if someone were to see him, it's not at all easy to see the little stretched feet, hands, ears and facial attributes contributing to the halo of flesh around the spatial anomaly, so vast is the vortex forming his core.
Lying in wait, Halesey is nevertheless mildly surprised when the arrival appears - rather than the expected miscreant that is that unfortunate Nigel, the domain of God appears to have invited somebody else entirely. He's a ginger guy, with an unpleasant face and shabby clothes, looking bloody stinking drunk at that, practically falling apart. The front of his shirt seems to have a few flecks of vomit on it. He stares vacantly into the distance, spinning in the almost nonexistent gravity of the area.
* * * * *
John, perplexed at this turn of events, wonders what his best paranormal friend might be up to at the present time.
"I wonder what Menkau is doing. Hope he didn't get into trouble," he says out loud perhaps prophetically. But this fails to give him any answers. So he adjusts his tactics a little.
~Great magazine spirit, do you know of a way for me to know how Menkau is doing?~ he beseeches his patron spirit.
~Who? You mean the cow guy? I'm sure he's perfectly okay. Why wouldn't he be?~
Post by: Xantalos on October 24, 2014, 04:53:57 pm
Post by: Toaster on October 24, 2014, 07:13:43 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 25, 2014, 09:29:47 am
EDIT: Forgot to answer:
"So, what happened here?""I have no idea. That strange man disappeared in a flash of light and heat. No idea why. I had nothing to do with it."
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 25, 2014, 02:29:54 pm
"I think I can't see shit."
"Yeah, lighting's been a problem, sadly. I'm kind of having trouble keeping fires going, though. Got any input?"
Post by: Toaster on October 25, 2014, 02:38:48 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 25, 2014, 02:48:35 pm
"It's kinda hard to breathe in here, too!"
"Hey, I can fix that!"
What sounds disconcertingly like a low, drawn-out farting noise rings out through the chamber you're in. The air grows warmer and more breathable in a manner of speaking, though it starts to smell a bit odd as well.
Post by: Toaster on October 25, 2014, 02:55:58 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 25, 2014, 03:03:31 pm
"Smells like you cut one. Still can't see."
"I did not! I don't even have a rectum anymore, dude. Or a metabolism, either. Just magic at work here, pretty much. And I still can't get anything to light up for long down here, like I said. No fuel for fires, and the electrical system for the neon lighting still refuses to work for some reason. I think it's fucking with me, to be perfectly honest."
Post by: Xantalos on October 25, 2014, 06:25:08 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 25, 2014, 06:31:12 pm
Welp. Might as well head off. Hey Pete, where was that factory leyline?
"In the abandoned parts of factory land, where the potato whispers in the dark and many awful things still dwell among the dregs."
Post by: Xantalos on October 25, 2014, 06:36:57 pm
Lead on, Pete! To the factory!
Post by: Toaster on October 25, 2014, 09:32:10 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 26, 2014, 08:59:00 am
Does Ivette have any thing she wants to do? Or is it up to me?
Ask!
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 26, 2014, 02:56:12 pm
"Sooo... What now?"
Does Ivette have any thing she wants to do? Or is it up to me?
Ask!
Ivette seems mostly bewildered. Probably not thinking very clearly.
"I don't know. I think we should run away, like those two guys. I think something's really wrong here. Yeah, how about we just run away?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 27, 2014, 06:44:22 am
Run away!
"Where are we running towards? The hospital?"
Post by: lawastooshort on October 27, 2014, 04:14:06 pm
"You sir!"
Leap out at the drunk, as much as a giant potato vortex can.
"You are quite quite drunk. Do you realise where the bloody hell you are?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 28, 2014, 01:12:37 pm
"Sounds like a jolly haunting destination, let's go there!" he says, chipper to a degree that even flusters Hungry Pete. He looks back, disquieted for a moment.
Then he breaks into a grin.
"Yes! Into the darkness we must forge, to bring the grace of God unto ourselves!" he says, taking off immediately. THE DUNKER, satisfied, tries to match Hungry Pete's brisk jog with an enterprising waddle of his own.
Meanwhile, Eta, similarly befuddled and threatened by mysterious explosions and unknown threats, chooses to go with Ivette's proposed course of action and runs off with her friend, not saying anything more until they're well clear of the street. The police don't seem very committed to keeping the area secure anymore, probably on account of investigating the castle and all, as it is incredibly easy for all four escapees to get the hell out of dodge, whereupon the two duos part ways - THE DUNKER and Pete running off to seek a heroic destiny, while Ivette leads Eta off to presumable safety.
"Where are we running towards? The hospital?" it occurs to Eta to ask along the way.
"Safety," Ivette replies cryptically, and they indeed stop on a streetcorner in a decidedly friendlier area of the Lower Esplanade, right on the edge between it and the post-industrial district.
"Okay," she says at last, out of breath, "now I think we should split up. If something's still after us, at least one of us ought to escape this way. I'll call you in the morning - if I don't, I'm either dead or sleeping in really badly. Keep that in mind, and make sure to pick up."
She takes a deep breath, then nods.
"Right, then. Goodbye," she says and runs off, not awaiting approval of any sort, leaving Eta alone and slightly singed on a streetcorner at night.
Meanwhile, THE DUNKER and Pete test their endurance to their very limit as they endeavor to reach Import Avenue - Pete is kind enough to wait for his buddy a few times along the way, and at around midnight they have arrived, beholding the factory - five stories high, gray and utterly boring to look at, there is nonetheless a mesmerizing quality to the large building as one beholds it slowly, rhythmically rise and fall in the night. The people gathered in the parking lot seem similarly odd, walking about awkwardly in very revealing clothing, hugging each other on occasion.
* * * * *
Larry, not that bad of a guy when one thinks about it, offers constructive criticism.
"I guess it's nice, though I can't see any of it. Maybe you need a big window."
"Now there's an idea! Good thinking, dude! And mighty kind of you to say so, too," the guy says, and follows up with a powerful grunt. Sounds of something rather massive being moved ensue.
"Come on, you bastard! Move already!"
However, a few moments later the guy has to concede, and a rumble issues as something falls back into place.
"Okay, that didn't work at all. Any other ideas?"
* * * * *
Halesey, adept at the ambushing of drunkards, particularly blasphemous ones such as this guy, roars toward the approaching guy so that he may be reminded of his folly.
"You sir! You are quite, quite drunk. Do you realize where the bloody hell you are?" he asks with the authoritative voice of a master of the ways of potatoes and vortexes and everything in between. The man turns his head to look at the suddenly mobile fixture of the environment.
"You are one ugly sumbitch," he says. "You've got, like, a hole for your... your everything, looks like."
He looks over at God, not particularly impressed, or so it may seem.
"You look like a local, if I'm not missing my mark," he slurs at Halesey once more. "There anyplace to crash on Planet Potato over there? I could do the vortex again, but who knows where the fuck I'll end up then."
He thinks a moment.
"Or I could just nap right here, I guess. Eh, fuck it."
He starts to close his eyes, clearly bloody stinking drunk indeed. And yet Halesey feels a faint stirring of a potato in him at the sight of this fella.
Post by: Pancaek on October 28, 2014, 01:25:51 pm
Post by: Toaster on October 28, 2014, 01:25:57 pm
"Okay, so, angels are holy, right? They should glow, right? So we just need more angels in here, right? Right!"
Before the tower can object, Larry launches his magic.
Cast Engulf in Loud Salsa Angels at the darkness!
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 28, 2014, 01:28:31 pm
"Yeah, I guess you're right, mister magazine. I don't really see anything happening to Menkau either. Do you have any idea about James? He seemed awfully eager to leave." John asks the magazine, still lounging in the couch under a blanket
~Maybe it's because you drink too much, John. And have a poor track record in companion long-term survivability, too.~
Post by: Pancaek on October 28, 2014, 01:30:38 pm
If you can sass me, why don't you tell me what I should have done? Huh? Smartass."
Post by: lawastooshort on October 28, 2014, 01:35:46 pm
"Wake and receive thine Holy Potato, Wise Drunkard! Tell me your name, and gaze upon your god! That's not me, incidentally."
((I'm assuming Potato God is still about))
Cast Empathise With Potato at the Holy Potato as it transfers itself, or doesn't, as the case may be.
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 28, 2014, 01:38:19 pm
"Hey now, those were my first companions. Everyone screws up on their first time. And I'll have you notice that I haven't been completely hammered for at least 2 hours now.
If you can sass me, why don't you tell me what I should have done? Huh? Smartass."
~Not let people run off on suicide missions in order to get hammered, for one. Or maybe just do what Mr. Lee told you to. Stick with something to the finish? Maybe consult your magazine for awesome magic more often? Help out that Menkau guy with the kids before drastic measures needed to be taken? Take a stand against further escalation? Not do the whole self-pity thing because it leaves little room for awesome magic and adventure?~
Post by: Pancaek on October 28, 2014, 02:29:00 pm
But you know what, sassypants, you're right. Let's see what you can give me to jumpstart my magical adventures. Let's get dangerous"
Consult magazine, obtain awesome magical spells
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Xantalos on October 28, 2014, 03:20:42 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 28, 2014, 03:25:21 pm
Hey Pete, know who these guys are?
"Profligates, of course! Or at least their victims! Though to be honest, they most certainly weren't around when I was here last time!"
Post by: Xantalos on October 28, 2014, 03:57:20 pm
Engulf the unfortunate crowd in Green Mafiosi, and tell the Mafiosi to a: keep them from touching us, and b: prevent them from following us!
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 29, 2014, 02:52:35 am
Make my way back to the hotel. Keep looking around for danger. Be extremely paranoid.
I wonder if I could hide in my vortex...
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 29, 2014, 12:28:33 pm
"Okay, so, angels are holy, right? They should glow, right? So we just need more angels in here, right? Right!"
[Larry's affinity roll: 3+1+1]
He faces the darkness and wills it to be engulfed in serene angels of sound and spiciness - and this is indeed what he gets, for the darkness is immediately suffused with pure angelic essence, the noisy shuffling of wings and the smell of fresh fruit, peppers and cilantro livening the place up considerably, and the singing of angelic, unmistakably ethnic voices only improves the mood.
Unfortunately, however, no light is produced by any of this.
"Doesn't help the light issue, but at least the place smells better, am I right?" the guy tries to be positive.
* * * * *
Halesey, being largely a cosmic phenomenon rather than a proper human being at this juncture, awaits the awakening of this drunken foolish person. When he doesn't seem to be about to do any such thing within an hour, Halesey moves on to the next plan, which is to poke him mercilessly. He pokes the man with the fleshy lining remaining of his foot, and is disappointed when this fails to wake the man in any way. Clearly more advanced methods are required.
"Wake and receive thine Holy Potato, Wise Drunkard! Tell me your name, and gaze upon your god! That's not me, incidentally," he shouts experimentally. The drunkard still doesn't react in any way. Bugger.
* * * * *
John, urged into action by the mild verbal abuse of his imaginary friend, plunges back into a world of magical glory by opening the magazine and inhaling deeply as he regards its secrets.
[John's mind roll: 3]
The world fades away, and above John is a sky of infinite, flat grayness, pure nothing. Beneath him is a meadow. And right there at eye level, there is nothing but a small black figurine, spinning in place. John looks at it curiously - it's a very stylized affair, a single small pillar with two large horns protruding from it, a single white light between their bases glaring all about. Continuing to observe the thing, John notices that it seems to be starting to slow down, until it comes to a stop, single pinprick of light staring him right in the eyes.
The figurine twists ninety degrees, then plunges itself into John's abdomen horns first, stabbing right into him, causing John to plummet to the ground, his concentration momentarily lost. Within seconds, he hits the ground hard, at which point he snaps back into reality.
Spoiler: John's New Spell (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
THE DUNKER knows what to do with a crowd of agitators - who would be better suited at dispersing them than the fine representatives of the nation's labor unions?
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 4+1]
A few people in the crowd are suddenly enveloped in vaguely spherical aggregations of green people who look like they're packing heat, their expressions rather grim and lethal. The other people in the crowd barely even notice, and do not react in any way - feeling this to be but a ruse, THE DUNKER orders the mafiosi to help out! Oddly, only one mafioso says anything back, and even that seems to be to soundly refuse the wizard's bidding on grounds of that not being part of the spell.
"These people remind me of my own flock, they do," Hungry Pete says, scratching his chin. "Although they are more scantily clad and slightly more blasphemous!"
His eyes flash, and behind him appears a large amount of floating pies, moving quickly to orbit slightly above him, oddly menacing for a bunch of baked goods.
"My weapons are ready. Now I need only my shield of truth, and we may charge!"
* * * * *
Eta, properly and rightfully paranoid of the horrors that lurk inedibly and indelibly in the night, moves out to reach the hotel. Every shadow seems ready to snap at her, and the occasional dinosaur rumbles as she passes by, making her jump with sudden fear, followed by a bout of sprinting for dear life. Every alley harbors vicious thugs and ancient conspirators in the guise of hobos, and Homeland Security lurks around every corner, ever so willing to take her to a secret place beyond the reach of the law so that the true extent of her activities can be discovered. She takes detours around lone pedestrians with what look to be smiles on their faces, ducks into doorways at each passing car. The streets feel full and brimming with ill intent, unlike their peculiar perceived lifelessness in the face of habitation during the hours of the day.
The circuitous, maddening routes she takes to avoid even the slightest hint of trouble and to hopefully throw off whatever is pursuing her cost her time - when she reaches the hotel, where Little Tay is waiting at the desk, she is exhausted, yet more tense than she has been ever before. As he raises his eyes to look at her, Eta feels terribly exposed all of a sudden.
"Hey, where you been?" he asks in a manner that sounds vaguely meaningful and slightly nervous.
Post by: Toaster on October 29, 2014, 12:50:25 pm
Bless all the angels in here! If that doesn't work, ask them if they have any light!
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Xantalos on October 29, 2014, 03:52:49 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 30, 2014, 03:07:17 am
He is one of them, isn't he? I knew this was a mistake. But where else can I go? I don't have a car, I can't just go anywhere. And they'll probably be waiting for me in any sort of public transportation hub. I just got to pretend I'm calm and then act when they least expect it.
"N-Nowhere!"
Maybe I could get him to give me some money? I'll need some money to run away.
"I mean, I ran into some trouble and had to go to the hospital. Sorry. Why? What happened?
But what if they put radioactive trackers on the bills? What if they already have it on me? What if it was in something I ate?
Post by: Harry Baldman on October 30, 2014, 06:55:54 am
Eh, you do what you like, Pete. I'll watch and help if you get in trouble.
On Pete's left arm appears a distinctly strange formation - a set of surfaces interlocking in mindbending ways, overlapping in a way that suggests one is hardly seeing the complete picture in regarding its shape. It looks vaguely like a pointed shield.
"Now then! We are ready! Will you charge with me, fellow pilgrim, or shall I lead the way for you to follow?"
((Damn those inedible hobos working for Homeland Security.))
He is one of them, isn't he? I knew this was a mistake. But where else can I go? I don't have a car, I can't just go anywhere. And they'll probably be waiting for me in any sort of public transportation hub. I just got to pretend I'm calm and then act when they least expect it.
"N-Nowhere!"
Maybe I could get him to give me some money? I'll need some money to run away.
"I mean, I ran into some trouble and had to go to the hospital. Sorry. Why? What happened?
But what if they put radioactive trackers on the bills? What if they already have it on me? What if it was in something I ate?
"You missed our meeting," Tay says, his features scrunching up as he takes in your shifty demeanor. "And you look like you're in trouble. You bringing any more trouble to my doorstep?"
Post by: Xantalos on October 30, 2014, 01:36:51 pm
So yeah, charge away.
Attempt to prepare myself for the casting of Electric Watermelon Storm!
Post by: lawastooshort on October 30, 2014, 04:23:56 pm
He had the intuition that if he threw a tantrum at the Potato God, it would probably not end well.
And, if he thought about it, it would also be stupid. The whole magic thing seemed to just be happening, so if he hadn't've caught this damnable blessed gift, well, perhaps he would have been crushed by a rain of fecking dinosaurs anyway. Now, he was no longer human, he was stuck in an unimaginable world of potatoes, and he'd just spent fifteen minutes poking a drunk with the remains of his foot, but at least he wasn't crushed by a shiting lizard.
Take that, life, you bastardo!
He had no idea what to. That is to say, he wondered what to do, but felt much like he'd imagine a potato would feel. Content at being. Lost in the tao of potato. Potatao. He sniggered. Boo- He felt -
Wow! He felt childish. Puerile. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt innocently childish and puerile!
"Booooooooo-"
No! He would not... say such things in the presence of God, but at least the sudden burst of puerility had made him remember part of himself, and thus an aim. He tried to place the focus of his mind beneath the drunken presumed-eejit.
Cast Musical Garbage Blast under the drunk!
He sniggered again as the noise went off.
"Dillhole."
Spoiler: Benjamin, Living Potato Vortex and Wielder of the Adult Literature of Death (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on October 30, 2014, 04:37:43 pm
ask book entity. Try to contact Menkau. If Menkau not contactable, look through my contacts list, never really did take a good look before.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on October 31, 2014, 10:56:34 pm
"No. At least, I don't think so. I think I lost them. I don't know if they wanted to rob me or..." Or maybe they want something far worse. If they are working for who I think they are...((Damn those inedible hobos working for Homeland Security.))
He is one of them, isn't he? I knew this was a mistake. But where else can I go? I don't have a car, I can't just go anywhere. And they'll probably be waiting for me in any sort of public transportation hub. I just got to pretend I'm calm and then act when they least expect it.
"N-Nowhere!"
Maybe I could get him to give me some money? I'll need some money to run away.
"I mean, I ran into some trouble and had to go to the hospital. Sorry. Why? What happened?
But what if they put radioactive trackers on the bills? What if they already have it on me? What if it was in something I ate?
"You missed our meeting," Tay says, his features scrunching up as he takes in your shifty demeanor. "And you look like you're in trouble. You bringing any more trouble to my doorstep?"
"Anyway, I am sorry about the meeting, but, as I said, something very serious came up and... Wait a second, what do you mean 'more trouble'? What trouble did I bring you?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 01, 2014, 05:25:03 am
"No. At least, I don't think so. I think I lost them. I don't know if they wanted to rob me or..." Or maybe they want something far worse. If they are working for who I think they are...
"Anyway, I am sorry about the meeting, but, as I said, something very serious came up and... Wait a second, what do you mean 'more trouble'? What trouble did I bring you?"
"Shit went wrong. Real wrong. Had to clean up lobby for hours with Fee. Magic shit's been happening in here. You know anything about that?" he asks. You get the feeling he knows, or at least suspects a few things about you, though you're not sure how.
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 02, 2014, 07:22:17 pm
Unless that's just what he wants people to think...
"Other than that, I can assure you that no magic took place in my presence (to my knowledge) during my stay here. Why? Did he come back and do anything to the lobby? Filled it with garbage?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 06, 2014, 08:09:51 pm
"Hey Denture god. I feel like we could be closer would you mind putting me in a denture cocoon for a while? You know as a bonding exercise. Can you do that? your powers are confusingly unexplored."
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 07, 2014, 02:18:54 am
"Well, there was this rather obese man that came in here and made a floating glowing can appear out of thin air. But last time I heard of him they were... having a conversation with him in the back room. But he looked harmless enough. Just a man obsessed with doughnuts that likes to make silly but ultimately harmless things appear out of thin air."
Unless that's just what he wants people to think...
"Other than that, I can assure you that no magic took place in my presence (to my knowledge) during my stay here. Why? Did he come back and do anything to the lobby? Filled it with garbage?"
"Tell me about the donut man," Little Tay merely says.
((Do I get to not pick one? I forgot the required roll for that.))
"Hey Denture god. I feel like we could be closer would you mind putting me in a denture cocoon for a while? You know as a bonding exercise. Can you do that? your powers are confusingly unexplored."
((You can! You can choose not to take any spells on a natural six or a modified six.))
"Not a prob, dude. You want anything to happen to you in there, or just work like storage?"
Post by: Xantalos on November 07, 2014, 02:28:27 am
Quote
Unless that's just what he wants people to think...
((Shit she's onto me))
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 07, 2014, 03:06:12 pm
"Maybe being brought in sync with both you and the dimension itself so I can deal with it on a more direct level. And, if possible, the guy in my mind. I want to have a legit talk with him in the mindscape or whateves.
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 08, 2014, 02:49:17 pm
"Uh, sure. Now hang on, missing something here..."
[Larry's affinity roll: 3+2+1]
Thrusting his holy, angelic fingers forth, he wishes well upon the angels he is sure are in this area, and his mind pushes outward along with his thoughts, stabbing into one of the nearby divine creatures and proceeding to pump it full of wondrous radiance until its internal fluids glow with stupendous good luck and exalted power - first to be illuminated is its skeleton, chunks of fruit and vegetables swimming in the great sac of sauce that form the greater body of the creature. Then the entire thing lights up, casting a large amount of light on the surroundings. It looks a little bit like a fruity fantasy jellyfish as it swells with great light and potential.
It is at this moment, under the bright, glorious light of magic, that Larry properly beholds the room - it is a bridge leading to a staircase, lined by elaborate metal guardrails on each side, the staircase leading down into a dark abyss.
Far off from the bridge are the actual walls of the chamber - engraved with images of glorious conquest, the stone or at least stonelike walls are rich in alcoves, in which Larry can faintly make out the twitching limbs of what he assumes to be his host, scratching at the walls in places, pumping things in others.
"Cool! You can see now, right?" his host wonders, and Larry notices that the sound's coming from a nearby tube pointing right at him.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER tells Pete to just go on ahead, as he has a better plan than to merely blunder into danger directly!
"Nah, you go in and tank, Pete, I'll be DPS. So yeah, charge away."
"I shall do as you suggest, but make sure the DPS is most impressive indeed, fair friend! For it is the depths of profligate hell that we may venture into in mere moments! Who knows what horrors await us within?" Pete idly wonders, pies orbiting around him fiercely. "But I have tarried enough! Time to show these people the Lord's power!"
He assumes a standing start position, then takes off at a sprint toward the factory entrance, forgoing a battle cry, but bringing the shield forward in any case. As he smashes the first scantily clad profligate aside, THE DUNKER begins to breathe heavily, concentrating on the power of the storm, his resolve to bring some next level vengeance on these people practically spilling out of his skull by the time Hungry Pete has plowed straight through the crowd and smashed through the flimsy entrance door, his pies filing in after him as their orbit becomes unfeasible.
The people in the parking lot, for their part, start to moan at the noise, and some of them start to move in the direction of the entrance.
* * * * *
Halesey, very uncharacteristically for someone who is a vortex, decides to solve his problem without the application of a vortex for once, unthinkable as that may be.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5-1]
[Halesey's finesse roll: 2+1+1]
The blast does indeed shoot out from his form, almost flying beneath the drunkard, a tin can winging him across the shoulder with a perfect D tone that reverberates through the dimension, the potatoes all around Halesey resonating harmonically. The drunkard, for his part, stirs a bit, opening one way.
"What the fuck was that? Is somebody... throwing shit at me?" he wonders aloud, still half-asleep.
* * * * *
John gets a slight bad feeling for some reason.
"Yo, book. I somehow get the idea that Menkau is in trouble. Do you know how to contact him?" he wonders as he peruses his contacts list.
~Menkau? I'm not sure you're supposed to know how to contact him. Information might be beyond your clearance,~ the book replies. John's eyes run through his list of contacts, which includes Shauna, some people he's not sure he remembers, and Trey and Luz, for what it's worth, plus something dubbed 'Adventure'. John's not quite positive what that contact's for, but he's fairly sure he must have been real drunk when he added it. ~But hey, maybe if you click your heels together or something and wish really hard, maybe something will work out? Dunno.~
* * * * *
Dave, upon being prodded, elaborates further on his ambitions of being encapsulated.
"Maybe being brought in sync with both you and the dimension itself so I can deal with it on a more direct level. And, if possible, the guy in my mind. I want to have a legit talk with him in the mindscape or whateves."
"In sync? Whaddaya mean? You're already in sync with me, dude. At least spatially and temporally. This is about as close to understanding and controlling this realm as you're about to get without doing, like, quests or something. Maybe make another planet for me? That moon's a bit erratic. Or hey, bring more wizards in here. That might be pretty cool."
As if to further the point, the Gremlin Moon plops out of existence in the distance. You're not sure when it reappeared last.
"As for guys in your head, can't really help there. Probably better if you work that out between yourselves."
~Yes, dear boy, you want some mindscapes, you can go right ahead and ask me directly. Mindscapes is literally what I do.~
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 08, 2014, 03:18:42 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 08, 2014, 03:19:54 pm
"Cool. Let's have a good heart to disembodied magical force."
~Any preferences, bud, or should I just go nuts?~
Post by: Toaster on November 08, 2014, 04:26:37 pm
((Is the light constantly shining from said salsa angel or was it a flash that's fading?))
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 08, 2014, 04:48:40 pm
"There we go. Yeah, sweet bridge and shit, yo. What's down the stairs?"
((Is the light constantly shining from said salsa angel or was it a flash that's fading?))
Light's looking pretty constant. Whatever power source is making that angel thing glow, you're fairly sure it's not fading presently.
"You'll just have to go downstairs and find out, dude! It's pretty cool, if I may say so myself."
Post by: Xantalos on November 08, 2014, 04:59:02 pm
UNLEASH THIS ROILING POWER INSIDE MY COLON! ELECTRIC WATERMELON STORM!
On the profligate people of course.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 08, 2014, 08:23:47 pm
Post by: Toaster on November 08, 2014, 08:51:50 pm
Might as well descend. After the past few days there's not much more weird that can be.
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 09, 2014, 04:04:07 am
"Well I don't know... What about you Charles? You got any mindscape preferences."
Charles, from what you can tell, would probably prefer someplace comfortable and not overly stressful to discuss things, since it's probably better if one is not disoriented and distracted by some kind of bizarre abortion of imagination when the actual goal is to communicate and converse on some topic. It's just inefficient, you know? But he's open to persuasion on this if you really wouldn't mind something bizarre, since comfort is clearly a secondary concern when dealing with sorcerous matters. Maybe comfortable discussions would run against the very spirit of the thing, he's not sure. Better not ask for snacks to be available, either. That seems like it could only go wrong.
DUNKER huffs. DUNKER puffs! DUNKER's face goes magenta! It deepens to violet! He lets out a belch of ear-shattering proportions! Bring on the storm!
UNLEASH THIS ROILING POWER INSIDE MY COLON! ELECTRIC WATERMELON STORM!
On the profligate people of course.
[Your affinity roll: 1-->1+1+1]
Your belch has a distinctly watermelony taste, along with the distinct pinpricks of faint electric discharges, and for a moment you wonder what might have gone wrong here, but your thoughts are interrupted by a watermelon aimed squarely at your colon, smashing into you from behind and sending your jiggling body to the ground with a terrible mechanical and electric shock.
[Your body roll: 5-1]
As the vibrations of your adipose tissue and the pain rushing through your nerves subsides, you slowly get back up, disappointed that you seem to have become purple for practically nothing just then. That's what you get for trying to prolong the moment, you suspect. If only you did not feel the sudden need to actually prepare for what you were going to do next!
Post by: Pancaek on November 09, 2014, 07:24:03 am
John eyes the "adventure" number suspiciously for a moment, and then shrugs.
"Well, no sense in starting to make logical decisions at this point. He who dares."
Call the adventure contact.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 09, 2014, 10:17:45 am
Post by: Xantalos on November 09, 2014, 01:56:50 pm
Again, Electric Watermelon Storm the masses, only this time no belching!
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 09, 2014, 05:57:29 pm
"Yes, certainly, I was-""Well, there was this rather obese man that came in here and made a floating glowing can appear out of thin air. But last time I heard of him they were... having a conversation with him in the back room. But he looked harmless enough. Just a man obsessed with doughnuts that likes to make silly but ultimately harmless things appear out of thin air.""Tell me about the donut man." Little Tay merely says.
Unless that's just what he wants people to think...
"Other than that, I can assure you that no magic took place in my presence (to my knowledge) during my stay here. Why? Did he come back and do anything to the lobby? Filled it with garbage?"
But wait. He isn't giving me anything. I can't just give up information like that.
"Wait a second. If I tell you, will you then tell me why you want to know so badly?"
After all, Eta was still a journalist.
Post by: lawastooshort on November 10, 2014, 05:00:48 am
Musical Garbage Blast him from underneath again!
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 11, 2014, 06:53:24 am
Well. That's what I get for preparing.
Again, Electric Watermelon Storm the masses, only this time no belching!
[Your affinity roll: 6-->3+1]
You have cracked the weakness of the previous method, as clearly premature release of tension is obviously counter to proper practice of magic! And when you decide to hold it in this time, you find that watermelony lightning come much more easily to you than before - little surprise there, naturally. At your call, electric watermelons appear from the aetheric realms (or, rather, the electrified watermelon realms) in the midst of the crowd, flying every which way - one muscular, shambling man is struck across the head, cracking both it and the watermelon with equal results! Another woman is struck in the back and snapped cleanly in half! And then there's just too many watermelons and too much spontaneous injury to even begin to pinpoint individual cases. The crowd is getting decimated with blunt force and electric discharge. Something about this strikes you as a little odd, though you can't quite place why.
"Yes, certainly, I was-"
But wait. He isn't giving me anything. I can't just give up information like that.
"Wait a second. If I tell you, will you then tell me why you want to know so badly?"
After all, Eta was still a journalist.
Little Tay thinks a moment. But only a moment.
"Yes," he says.
Post by: Xantalos on November 11, 2014, 02:30:17 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 11, 2014, 03:13:42 pm
Say, pink donut voice, is there anything unusual happening here?
~The whole building's sort of rhythmically breathing and there's a leyline inside. So I'd say there probably is something pretty damn unusual happening in there. Might be a tea party, might be apocalyptic rituals. But definitely something, yeah.~
Post by: Xantalos on November 11, 2014, 03:27:49 pm
Actually, a bunch of things.
Walk towards the entrance to the place. If any filthy profligates try to touch me, block them off with a Flaming Mold Wall.
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 11, 2014, 08:01:29 pm
I saw him in the doughnut store down the street, where I had gone to get something to eat. He sneakily followed me back here because he wanted my doughnuts. He started using magic, summoned some sort of glowing can. The guy in the reception got scared and got the doughnut guy to surrender. Then the receptionist got me to call another guy. They took all my doughnuts my breakfast to experiment with him because doughnuts caused some sort of magical thing to happen to him. And then they left, I think. I left too, at that time, got back to my room.
When I came to the reception again, there were some strange noises coming from the back room, so I asked the receptionist if they needed any help. He said the doughnut guy was in there and that they were talking with him.
After that I left, wandered the city for a bit. There were some... personal problems that prevented me from returning here, that's why I missed our meeting. Had to go to the police station, then to the hospital. Part of the reason I look like this.
Later I met the doughnut guy in a bar, along with the girl that runs the doughnut store. Turns out she was the one that gave him magic through cocaine infused doughnuts apparently. Or so she said. I didn't like her very much. Very irresponsible person. By the end of the night she was overdosing in her own cocaine. Anyway, I stayed with him for a while. He used some spells for fun and to get some drinks and then he went off with a religious nut ninja wizard to search for 'power' and the 'fingers of god'.
And after that, I got here. I think that's all."
Post by: Pancaek on November 13, 2014, 10:20:39 am
-snip rp-((Missed my action? Or there hasn't actually been a big update yet, in which case disregard this.))
Call the adventure contact.
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 14, 2014, 05:53:58 pm
"Uh, dude, read in the other direction. It's not really clear, is it? Sorry."
It is indeed not quite clear, but no matter. The people in the boats find the slumbering mountain of flame in the middle of their isle an altogether generous patron, as it has provided their land with ash and exposed stones and glass they had previously not known to the surface of the land. Subsistence is indeed simple, and the ambition of the people is realized. Their children are many, and soon the entire Great Isle is teeming with life, sending off its progeny to explore yet further into the unknown reaches of the ocean when their villages begin to fill with people and tensions begin to rise as resources begin to grow scarce.
The squalor mounts further and further despite the best efforts of the islanders to ship off as many of themselves as possible, and violence begins to ensue as the situation grows increasingly dire. It is from this violence that a need to organize arises, for fear that all will descend to a brawl that leaves the Isle empty of life. And so wise men and women start to dictate new codes to the people to regulate their conduct appropriately. Their work is a smashing success.
Organized by law, the newly founded two sides of the island then begin to make more civilized war upon one another, perfecting the noble arts of mass combat, ambushes, total war and even beginning to figure out siege warfare as the technology of fortifications improves. Combat is lovingly rendered with a great degree of accuracy and a surprising grasp of perspective for relief art, slightly marring the impression of great age. Furthermore, the art style doesn't shift back after a single man, chubby from the consumption of all the spoils of regular victory, has successfully subjugated the other side - the wrong side, as the following renderings of desperate defensive warfare show with copious amounts of death and flames.
Next comes the adaptation of the law - the chubby man speaks much to his people, codifying the ways to live as well as the ones to fight, and formulating a new society roughly built upon the one that the warring halves have largely forgotten by now. His wisdom is not universally accepted, and some continue to ship out, but they seem to universally meet horrible ends at the terrible fanged mouths of the beasts of the deep seas, and never reach fertile lands for their disobedience to the new law.
Of course, the new law is not quite perfect, it is clearly stated. The prosperity of the past is not quite regained under it, and it undergoes a great many revisions. The chubby king of the Great Isle sweats and labors over the law for many years until he is old and gray, and a great city rises up all around him as he calls in others to help out - the young and the old, the poor and the rich, to help him know what is best for all - with this the chubby king tries to make a perfect law, one where none will be restricted, but all will be protected. There is a slight madness in his eyes, one that does not subside when he seems to finally expire in a seated position, his eyes closing and his laws trailing off as the orderly columns of before trail off slightly to the left before becoming a single line that runs to the edge of the writing tablet.
The setting changes abruptly, becoming almost strangely photorealistic as the chubby king awakens upon a vast plain, nothing in sight for the longest time as he wanders about, seeking his old home, becoming younger as his mind becomes ever more involved in the search, a certain liveliness of the eyes becoming quite apparent as they start to glint in the light. He sits down and starts digging, his eyes growing manic as he produces a deep hole, his arms at first moving fast enough to warrant an additional, less accentuated representation, then becoming arms in their own right - from there, the number of limbs increases in the same, exponentially quickened fashion, and soon one cannot recognize the chubby king at all beneath the decreasingly human mass of functioning limbs, protruding eyeballs and many mouths. It's so lovingly drawn that it becomes a bit nightmarish in a way. And eventually there is no king left at all - just a hole in the ground, from where grows a great tower with a grander city far beneath, and on the floor at the very bottom of the staircase there seems to be an elaborate floor plan laid out, complete with illustrations of activity in each part of the city.
Larry looks up. That's about 15 floors he's descended. He is not looking forward to going back up, that's for damn sure. His legs feel a little tired already.
"What do you think?" his kind host wonders, shaking a bellowing, glowing blessed salsa angel in a very long tentacle. The angel doesn't seem to be happy at having been used as a portable light source. "Long for an introduction, maybe? It glosses over some parts, but it's a pretty good overview, methinks. Maybe could skip a detail or two. Got carried away with the fight scenes, maybe. Fifteen meters vertical might have been excessive just for that."
He points the angel at four different tunnels, each going in a different direction.
"So, which district you wanna see first? The Reaches, the Depths, the Haunts or the Blights? Sweet cribs galore no matter which way you go, so feel free to pick based on mood."
* * * * *
Yesterday was a terribly depressing day. Lots of exciting things have been on the news, most of them unequivocally terrible as usual. Lower Esplanade's exploded, giant denture castle has appeared in the ruins, a moon suddenly materializing on the horizon, then disappearing immediately. Things are taking a rather crazy turn.
It made one Kermit Q. Pilton rather happy to have cleared his schedule entirely for that day (or, rather, had Stan clear it for him), and he nearly succumbed to the temptation of going out to investigate some of these fascinating events. He had spells, and was certainly willing to put them to good use. But no! He had to wait. Maybe one of his magically gifted people would choose to call him that day - and in that event he had to be ready to put everything aside for the purpose. Wouldn't be nice to not give them the time of day, not at all.
As one may imagine, the next morning he is a bit pissed that nobody called the entire day. It's like nobody at all needs him anymore. They just take his matches and disappear off into the night. Damn it, that's not how being a master wizard ought to work. But what can he really do? Better ask Stan to clear his schedule for today as well. Not like there's anything on it anyway, but Mr. Pilton just enjoys giving that order to the guy.
"Stan! Clear my schedule for today!" he shouts from his office, feeling a little dirty in his suit, which he seems to have fallen asleep in by accident. Stan mumbles something back from outside - unimportant, whatever it was.
Suddenly, his phone rings. He checks the ID - says it's John. He tries to remember who that might be, and narrows it down to two possible candidates - McLaren from down the hall, who's a prick, and Paula John from HR, who he distinctly recalls as having an awfully seductive voice and who he has never actually spoken to in person. He feels that the second possibility is likely enough to be worth the risk of accidentally talking to McLaren instead, and picks it up.
"Pilton speaking. How may I serve?" he tries to say professionally, though the latter part sounds a little bit like what a serf of some kind would utter. Ugh. It's doubly unfortunate, since it doesn't seem like Paula's on the other end at all, though there's a silver lining in that it doesn't sound like McLaren, either. Actually, whoever's on the other end sounds maybe a little drunk? Kermit could certainly sympathize - these were trying times, after all.
* * * * *
Dave relays Charles' reasonable request to the voice in his head, and before he's even at the end of it denture hell just up and shatters into millions of tiny grains of glass, luckily missing any of Dave's more sensitive membranes as the ensuing storm carries it all away, leaving Dave and his fine compatriot on what looks like a very unkempt lawn in the middle of a warm, wintry forest, with two ratty armchairs placed opposite one another, a flaming barrel placed between them, seemingly awaiting Dave's arrival.
In one of the armchairs sits... a shadow? It's a two-dimensional shape splayed out across its surface, green in color and vaguely corresponding to Dave's own silhouette, Charles included.
~Here we are! Cozy enough? Sit down, don't be shy,~ plays out the voice in his head, the shadow in the chair completely unmoving.
* * * * *
Halesey does not let up - the unholy drunkard must be purified of his non-tuberous urges, which most unfortunately for him happen to include both sleep and alcohol abuse. And what's more, both are to be performed post-haste, as the prophet of the Most Holy Potato has tarried for quite long enough.
"Yes, they are! It is a Holy Wake-up! You’ve been totally called, dude! God wants to give you a Sacred Potato."
[Halesey's affinity roll: 4-1]
To punctuate the statement, a tuning fork jabs into the reprobate's shoulder, eliciting a grunt. Shockingly, though, it is a grunt of interest!
"Shit, really? Well! Better get up then!"
He spins in place a little, getting himself into a rough semblance of order, wiping one of several conspicuous flecks of vomit from his clothes.
"Okay, dizzy now. Where's God, and where's my Sacred Potato?" he asks with what sounds like enthusiasm.
* * * * *
"There's also the fact that people don't break in half like these guys are doing when exposed to watermelon. Ah well, what could go wrong from walking into them? Actually, a bunch of things," THE DUNKER speaks to his voice as he walks through the shattered masses of the people in the parking lot, dodging a stray watermelon violently rolling around on the ground every once in a while. Energy's been very efficiently expended here, he thinks. Storm stopped just as pretty much everyone in the parking lot got smashed into several bits. Wondrous success, definitely!
~These are some pretty badass watermelons, man. Maybe you're not giving yourself enough credit,~ his inner voice says as he beholds the destruction one more time in its full splendor before walking in through the open entrance.
Within he spies a highly unusual thing. And that thing just so happens to be the factory - inside it is damp and very warm, and it smells of fake strawberries, like some form of body lotion. It's not at all an unpleasant smell, and it's rather tastefully faint. The walls are a bit difficult to see in the rather poor lighting, but they look strangely oily and mobile, shifting in a fleshy manner and making appropriate sounds to match. Same goes for the floor and the ceiling. There appear to be quite a few bits where things look much less fleshy, and have more of a clothlike look.
Nearby is Hungry Pete, rather confused, poking at the wall with his shield and making small depressions in it that correct themselves in a few moments. As soon as he notices THE DUNKER, he turns to face him, looking faintly concerned.
"It is worse than I thought, fellow pilgrim! Have you the DPS to solve this affront to good sense immediately, or should we look for its weak point first?"
In the distance faint, deep sobbing can be heard.
* * * * *
Oh, where to begin, where to begin? Where should Eta begin, indeed? More importantly, what should she omit for the good of all?
"Okay then. Doughnut man. What I know."
"I saw him in the doughnut store down the street, where I had gone to get something to eat. He sneakily followed me back here because he wanted my doughnuts. He started using magic, summoned some sort of glowing can. The guy in the reception got scared and got the doughnut guy to surrender. Then the receptionist got me to call another guy. They took all my doughnuts my breakfast to experiment with him because doughnuts caused some sort of magical thing to happen to him. And then they left, I think. I left too, at that time, got back to my room."
"When I came to the reception again, there were some strange noises coming from the back room, so I asked the receptionist if they needed any help. He said the doughnut guy was in there and that they were talking with him."
"After that I left, wandered the city for a bit. There were some... personal problems that prevented me from returning here, that's why I missed our meeting. Had to go to the police station, then to the hospital. Part of the reason I look like this."
"Later I met the doughnut guy in a bar, along with the girl that runs the doughnut store. Turns out she was the one that gave him magic through cocaine infused doughnuts apparently. Or so she said. I didn't like her very much. Very irresponsible person. By the end of the night she was overdosing in her own cocaine. Anyway, I stayed with him for a while. He used some spells for fun and to get some drinks and then he went off with a religious nut ninja wizard to search for 'power' and the 'fingers of god'."
"And after that, I got here. I think that's all."
Little Tay nods.
"You know a lot of wizards," he states. "How so?" He shakes his head moments after asking the question. "No. Not important. Ignore question. Have names, maybe?"
Post by: Xantalos on November 14, 2014, 06:02:20 pm
Proceed further within!
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 14, 2014, 06:30:34 pm
Post by: Toaster on November 14, 2014, 08:30:32 pm
Check clock. Hit Reaches.
Post by: Pancaek on November 15, 2014, 10:26:01 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 15, 2014, 02:34:10 pm
"So, bro... What are you? I mean seriously."
~Basically a figment of one's active imagination, dude. Like an imaginary friend, but with super magical powers, and not entirely imaginary anymore.~
"Ah, uh, my name is John T. Deschutter, mister Pilton. I'm...not really sure how you can help me. Your name appeared in my contacts list under the name 'adventure'. So, what is it that you do exactly?" John asks, sounding slightly drunk and slightly confused
"Adventure, huh? I would say I aspire to fit that description. Would you happen to be a wizard, maybe? I know it's a long shot and all, but I figure it doesn't hurt to ask."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 15, 2014, 03:04:45 pm
Post by: Pancaek on November 15, 2014, 03:34:27 pm
"Adventure, huh? I would say I aspire to fit that description. Would you happen to be a wizard, maybe? I know it's a long shot and all, but I figure it doesn't hurt to ask.""Well, I don't wear silly hats, but I can cast a few spells. If that's enough to qualify as a wizard, then I guess I am."
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 15, 2014, 04:05:08 pm
Who's imagination? I've had fantasies of a pig leg before but never a magic green voice.
~Are you tripping, bro? Haven't we been talking a lot lately? More than I probably should be talking to you, for obvious reasons. But yeah. Not your imagination, I'll tell you that much. But I'm afraid I won't be able to exposit a whole lot to you on that front apart from what I've said already. Maybe after you've gotten a bit bigger, magically speaking.~
"Well, I don't wear silly hats, but I can cast a few spells. If that's enough to qualify as a wizard, then I guess I am."
"Cool. Name me one of your spells, Mr. Descutter. To assuage a certain paranoia of mine."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 15, 2014, 04:22:30 pm
Post by: Pancaek on November 15, 2014, 04:39:24 pm
"Cool. Name me one of your spells, Mr. Descutter. To assuage a certain paranoia of mine.""Well, one of them is called eldritch vase aided flight, though I've never tried that one out. I've also got tasty yeti sphere, that one I have used before."
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 15, 2014, 04:48:36 pm
"Fine. You know what was up with that businessman?"
~Who? Pilton? 'Cause that guy was just a wizard. And also not a businessman, but a marketing guy. Kind of a big difference. Or do you mean someone else?~
"Well, one of them is called eldritch vase aided flight, though I've never tried that one out. I've also got tasty yeti sphere, that one I have used before."
"Your story checks out, I'm pleased to note. Want to meet downtown in an hour, maybe? I'm somewhat bored and frustrated right now."
Post by: Pancaek on November 15, 2014, 04:53:18 pm
"Your story checks out, I'm pleased to note. Want to meet downtown in an hour, maybe? I'm somewhat bored and frustrated right now.""I feel ya. One hour sounds good to me, any place in particular you'd like to meet at?"
Go meet mister Pilton at the place of his choosing in about an hour. Leave a note on the table for James explaining where I went.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 15, 2014, 06:04:54 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 15, 2014, 06:12:51 pm
"Yeah but where'd he get the matchbook? And who gave him his powers?"
~Oh, he's one of the originals. And he made the matchbooks himself, basically.~
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 15, 2014, 06:39:59 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 17, 2014, 05:29:04 am
"Okay... So he just mutated wizard powers one day?"
~Yeah, pretty much.~
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 17, 2014, 10:25:56 am
"You know a lot of wizards," he states. "How so?" He shakes his head moments after asking the question. "No. Not important. Ignore question. Have names, maybe?""Why? Is it a bad thing? Magic is one of the most interesting things going on during this time. Getting to know as many wizards as I can is the best way to learn more about it. Sure, some of them aren't the best kind of people, but I don't think that's because they have magic. If someone was irresponsible before they became a wizard, they'll probably keep being that way after that."
"Anyway, I think I have their names, or their nicknames at least. Joanie and the Dunker. I don't think I have their address though, so you probably can't send the bills to them. But if you go to Joanie's store when it's open, you could talk to her about any problems the Dunker may have caused." Assuming she survived... Who am I kidding? Of course she has survived.
"Let me check my notes real quick to make sure."
Check my purse. Does a quick search reveal any notes with info on Joanie or the Dunker? In the folder, perhaps?
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on November 18, 2014, 04:32:04 am
Invite a Holy Potato to infiltrate the man, and then let’s go to present him to the Potato God.
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 18, 2014, 08:09:54 am
Well, it seems to be a staircase, anyway, but it's made out of scantily clad people who appear to be weeping openly at their terrible fate. It appears to lead upward for at least five floors, if not more. The staircase looks pretty stable, and a few prods with the foot show that the people in it, while aware of the presence of the wizards very acutely, don't seem inclined to trip them up or do anything other than feel deeply sorrowful about cruel fate.
"This is indeed a great castle of flesh, no doubt inhabited by the devil! Perhaps even several devils? A few personifications of sin at the very least, I would say!" Hungry Pete rambles half to himself as the two of them look at the walls, which look about the same as in the previous room, which was a large hall, with the exception of a giant belly button (one that even THE DUNKER wouldn't have trouble fitting into, to give a sense of scale) to their left which appears to be staring right at the two visitors.
Also staring at them is a radiant, sharp-dressed woman who appears to be descending the stairs. She's smiling rather warmly, and as the two notice this, their reactions are markedly different. THE DUNKER gets the slight urge to sigh contently and smile back. Pete... well...
"Ah! The Whore of Babylon!" he says. The woman's smile disappears.
"Sir, that is rather insulting, not to mention slanderous," she says, looking unamused.
"That's exactly what the Whore of Babylon would say, is it not?" Pete replies manically. The pies orbiting him start to do so more violently, and he readies his shield in a very combative manner.
"Oh dear," the woman observes as she prepares to run.
* * * * *
Larry checks the time. He's got about... two and a half hours until the meeting, seems like. Cool. Nonchalantly he walks toward the Reaches, not particularly listening. The tentacle of his host trails behind, lighting the way.
The walk ahead is pretty uneventful - the tunnel has no pretty pictures, although there's some very fine fractal engravings on its side, and the tunnel itself widens and ascends. For a few moments, the light disappears, only to come back from the other side of the tunnel, leading Larry forward rather than trailing behind him.
"Sorry for making the tunnels so long - I'm thinking of later making neighborhoods lower down, adding branches to these hallways, that kind of thing. But that's planning for the future, not really relevant now."
It takes a bit before Larry walks out to what seems like a lookout platform that offers him a view of a small neighborhood of houses built atop a set of rocky pillars protruding up from what look like bottomless pits. Well, at least that's the view he gets when his host kindly waves the luminous angel around, letting him get a good view of the network of catwalks and the structures all around, which all have a semi-genuine ancient look to them, and each of which appears to be engraved entirely with straight lines, connected stone blocks usually having perpendicular patterns in relation to one another.
And also, despite the fact that this is quite possibly the most dangerous environment Larry has found himself in yet, there are no guardrails in sight. All of the bridges connecting the streets, though they are nearly monolithic and built with what seems like a solid grasp of architecture and tectonics in mind, lack anything to prevent a wayward traveler from plunging over the side into certain invisible death below.
"It took a really long time to dig the nearly bottomless pits, in case you're wondering."
Point is, this place doesn't seem entirely safe to wander into when he can't really see very far even with a light source.
"Wanna go see one of the cribs, maybe?"
* * * * *
John, upon agreeing to meet with Mr. Pilton at a certain location, a downtown bistro simply called Leonard's on Hewer Street (not to be confused with Leonard's on Richards Avenue), writes out a very considerate note to James explaining his momentary disappearance. Then he leaves with no regrets, sort of knowing his destination and managing not to forget his bicycle this time, and gets to Leonard's on Hewer after a bit of searching, which coincidentally puts him on the scene at exactly the right time to meet Mr. Pilton. The two immediately identify one another - John is the mildly inebriated fellow who arrived on the bike, while Mr. Pilton is the guy in the suit with the mop top and a look of dangerous boredom on his face who's already occupied a table and seems to have even gotten some food, which indicates he may have been here a while already.
"Mr. Deschutter! Is that you?" he says quite loudly as John enters. John sees no point in being disagreeable on this, nods and allows himself to be invited over. He, Mr. Pilton and a single depressed-looking waitress hovering around him shiftlessly seem to be the only people currently around in here. "Awfully good day, is it not?"
* * * * *
Eta tries her best to defend her questionable affiliations.
"Why? Is it a bad thing? Magic is one of the most interesting things going on during this time. Getting to know as many wizards as I can is the best way to learn more about it. Sure, some of them aren't the best kind of people, but I don't think that's because they have magic. If someone was irresponsible before they became a wizard, they'll probably keep being that way after that."
Little Tay just shrugs, seemingly not caring all that much.
"Anyway, I think I have their names, or their nicknames at least. Joanie and the Dunker. I don't think I have their address though, so you probably can't send the bills to them. But if you go to Joanie's store when it's open, you could talk to her about any problems the Dunker may have caused."
He nods, jotting down the names. Or, rather, just one name. He doesn't break eye contact as he writes.
"Let me check my notes real quick to make sure," Eta says uncertainly, getting the folder in her purse and checking through it. It contains several things, including, but not limited to documents confirming her to be a naturalized U.S. citizen, documents confirming her to be a naturalized U.K. citizen, documents granting her confidential security clearance around these parts, a whole bunch of birth certificates, a couple of death certificates, a couple sheets of blank paper, a GED, an MBA diploma, a bunch of references for fully and timely repaid loans, two sets of documents detailing two alternate genealogies of her ancestry in the U.S. and the U.K., neither of which she can exactly prove wrong from memory and both of which seem to paint her as the very genetic incarnation of a WASP, rather impressive resume variants if one is applying for investigative work, journalism or a combination of both, a set of authentic-looking quality news articles from a couple years back with her name listed as the author and finally a note that says "pick the ones you like, probably should burn the rest, or maybe keep for posterity?". All of these look entirely legit, it should be added, even if Eta's judgment of such things is perhaps not particularly informed.
No notes on other people, though. A shame. Pretty thick folder there, though.
* * * * *
Halesey wastes no time in getting to the main event - well, one of the main events.
"The Holy Potato is deep within my Brain – I shall spurt it forth, it shall wind its way into yours, and then we shall visit the Potato God! What say you? Yes, I hope, or I may become coercive. Ha! What am I saying, what kind of Holy Man would do that. Anyway – feel my Holy Potato, oh Chosen Disciple of the Potato God!"
"I can feel your Holy Potato!" the fellow echoes as a single potato from Halesey's vortex form splits off, contorting and flowing as if it had been left in unfavorably hot weather for a very long time, then slamming right into his newest disciple's body, disappearing within moments. His expression becomes slightly bemused.
"Okay. Now that that's done, can I maybe take a nap? It'd be right improper to go prostrate myself before the almighty potato in this kinda state. They wouldn't let me into a temple looking like this, would they?"
"Oh, it is of no import," God, who is still nearby (indeed, He is everywhere, is He not?), says nonchalantly. "But it is good that you have such concerns. It is a mark of respect, and this I can appreciate. But nevertheless, consume alcohol in moderation, my disciple. Whatever it adds to your magical ability, it takes from your functioning in equal measure, and this you must remember."
The fellow looks at the nearby planetato quizzically. "It sounds like God is the planet-sized potato. God's the planet-sized potato, right?"
"Indeed I am, and this is but a mere reflection of my true glory, and you would do well to remember it, disciple."
"Oh. Well, okay. Have you got anything to talk about with me, oh Lord? Any divine orders?" he asks.
"Not in particular, initiate! But I will have you note that your inner potato acts as a magical conduit - you may focus on it to partake of my gifts freely, and I may speak to you through it at great distance, even through the veil of dimensions."
"Lord, may I ask a thing of you, then?" the drunkard intones.
"Yes, you may. But whether it will be granted depends on many factors, some of them beyond your ken!"
"May I sleep now without being disturbed, Lord?"
"Indeed you may!"
"Fantastic. I'm gonna do that now," he says, starting to swim away.
"Wait, initiate! What is your name?" God asks, probably wishing He had hands to gesture with expressively.
"Nigel. Would the good Lord know of any warmer, drier places in here, maybe?"
"This is as warm and dry as it gets, Initiate Nigel!"
"'Kay. G'night, Lord."
"G'night, Initiate Nigel."
Initiate Nigel then passes out, spinning away slowly.
Post by: Toaster on November 18, 2014, 09:15:31 am
"Wanna go see one of the cribs, maybe?"
"Hmm... sure. Hey, have you considered railings in here?"
Post by: Pancaek on November 18, 2014, 11:08:21 am
"Awfully good day, is it not?""It's quite fine, as you say. I think I'm making good progress with my alcoholism, at any rate. And none of my friends dissapeared today, which is some kind of progress, at least. Quite a good day, indeed."
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 18, 2014, 11:54:39 am
Eta closed the folder a bit more quickly than she would had liked.
But for now, best to find a place to stash these things. And get a notebook.
"No, sorry, nothing besides Joanie's phone number, that's all I have. So, I've told you what I know. Will you tell me what happened now?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 18, 2014, 11:57:45 am
Post by: lawastooshort on November 18, 2014, 12:37:02 pm
((The Potato God is a quite understanding and genial chap, really.))
((I pick gods well, eh))
((Anyway, I’m a bit pressed for time right now so will try to edit in an action later tonight))
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 18, 2014, 01:08:29 pm
"Hmm... sure. Hey, have you considered railings in here?"
"I did, but then I realized they'd mess with the aesthetic too much. It's perfectly safe already as long as you know where you're going and don't slip on anything, so I figured why bother, right? As soon as I get proper lighting in here it should be no problem at all, even if there actually aren't any glowing crystals among the ores here."
"It's quite fine, as you say. I think I'm making good progress with my alcoholism, at any rate. And none of my friends dissapeared today, which is some kind of progress, at least. Quite a good day, indeed."
"At least you're getting something done. Me, I procrastinated the entire previous day waiting for someone to call me and do wizard business with. But no, only person who called me was Nate, and he just asked me if I was doing any work on the leyline yet. God, was that embarrassing to lie my way out of. Fucking magical research, can't get the hang of it at all. And I'm not much of a people person, either, and I've got no friends. Most of the people I gave magic to I haven't seen since, and my secretary's the only exception, and even that I think is mostly because he works ten meters away from me. It's almost like I'm back exactly where I started," Mr. Pilton says morosely before cracking a smile again. "But that was yesterday! I told myself that this day would be entirely different. Today I would get shit done. A lot of it, too. And I told myself exactly that ten whole times last night, so I knew I meant it, too. And now here we are. Good start, I'd say."
I should really find him and thank him sometime soon. Assuming nothing horrible has happened to him.
Eta closed the folder a bit more quickly than she would had liked.
But for now, best to find a place to stash these things. And get a notebook.
"No, sorry, nothing besides Joanie's phone number, that's all I have. So, I've told you what I know. Will you tell me what happened now?"
"Yes," Little Tay says. "Lobby and back room were messed up very badly. Also, three people were killed. But now we are on the path to solving the problem. I know who this Joanie is, and the man I suspect I can find from what I now know."
"Well. This wasfar less informative than I had hoped. Mind letting me out so I can have an equally uninformative conversation with God?
~Sure! Sorry I couldn't help much, dude.~
You are now back in the presence of God. It seems faintly amused about something.
Post by: Toaster on November 18, 2014, 01:21:48 pm
Post by: Xantalos on November 18, 2014, 01:56:49 pm
Whoever you are, what's the route to the top of this place?
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 18, 2014, 03:00:00 pm
"Any ideas on the light? That glowangel works pretty well."
"Well, yeah, I was considering ripping this angel into little chunks and just scattering them in places, but then there's the problem of the glow running out, and also that it's kind of a jerk thing to do to an angel. You got anything that makes light? Or even anything flammable? Or heck, maybe you know some electricians or something? I'd try anything at this point."
Hang on with the smiting a second, Pete.
Whoever you are, what's the route to the top of this place?
"Very well! A second it is!" Pete says, and the woman stops, looking at you curiously.
"Uh... the stairs?" she says, looking around for a moment.
[Pie finesse roll: 4]
[BL's body roll: 6-->2]
Though she is a little distracted, she is surprisingly able to intercept a rather well-aimed pie shooting straight at her face plate-first, separating it from its plate in the same move. The pie flies off, quickly losing cohesion without the plate holding it together, falling apart mid-air. Meanwhile, the lady seems to be experiencing slight pain in her fingers from capturing a rapidly flying object. She doesn't bother to say anything before starting a quick run up the stairs.
Post by: Pancaek on November 18, 2014, 03:01:05 pm
Post by: Toaster on November 18, 2014, 03:05:51 pm
"Any ideas on the light? That glowangel works pretty well."
"Well, yeah, I was considering ripping this angel into little chunks and just scattering them in places, but then there's the problem of the glow running out, and also that it's kind of a jerk thing to do to an angel. You got anything that makes light? Or even anything flammable? Or heck, maybe you know some electricians or something? I'd try anything at this point."
"Can't say I do, really. Mostly angel magic. And hats. And divine porn. Some of it will set mortals on fire if they so much as look at it?"
Post by: Xantalos on November 18, 2014, 03:16:25 pm
Proceed up the stairs! Does my leyline sense pick anything up? If so, head in that direction.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 18, 2014, 04:35:44 pm
Post by: flabort on November 18, 2014, 09:28:14 pm
((This is an awesome read))((The Potato God is a quite understanding and genial chap, really.))
((I pick gods well, eh))
((Anyway, I’m a bit pressed for time right now so will try to edit in an action later tonight))
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 19, 2014, 07:15:36 am
"People you gave magic to, you say? So you can give magic? Do you know a mister Lee or a mister Menkau, by any chance? Also, pray tell, what is it that you're planning to do today?"
"I'll admit I haven't thought very much about what I'm going to do today, but it's going to be something at least. Maybe get access to a new leyline? Could use some of that extra power, you know. Or maybe just look for something interesting to do in town. With how many wizards seem to be running around, shouldn't take long, right?"
He sits there for a moment, looking at you enthusiastically before recalling that you asked something more. Or, rather, you repeat the questions to him when it seems like he's blanked on the other ones.
"Oh, Mr. Lee? I do know him. We're kind of like magical Illuminati buddies, except we're not actually buddies, and he's technically not an Illuminatus, even if his wife would send him to the couple of meetups we had. Kind of a cool guy. Heard his neighborhood blew up, though. Is he okay? Did he get mixed in with some shady types? I told him not to go looking for prospective apprentices in the Lower Esplanade."
You wonder if asking a person three questions at once is worse conversational etiquette than refusing to answer more than one at a time.
"Can't say I do, really. Mostly angel magic. And hats. And divine porn. Some of it will set mortals on fire if they so much as look at it?"
"Hm... how exactly do they get set on fire? Explosively, with a slow burn, some other way? Might be a way there. Plus, you know, divine porn. Mind conjuring some up, maybe? For science and all that."
Okay, thanks. Feel free to smite if you want, Pete, but let's keep going up and in. There should be a centre to this place at some point.
Proceed up the stairs! Does my leyline sense pick anything up? If so, head in that direction.
"And smite I shall!" Pete says, glad at your approval even if not strictly in need of it. Together you head up the stairs, and you immediately pick up the leyline - it's upstairs, not at the very top, but somewhere on the... well, one of the top floors. You draw closer and closer, and finally reach the fourth floor, where you're pretty sure the leyline has to be - wasting no time, you head right in, coming inside a hallway, confined and strongly strawberry-scented, seemingly leading to a floor full of offices.
In the middle of this hallway stands a man. He is well-built, rather handsome, highly muscular and with intense eyes. He is entirely shirtless, but wearing a pair of what look like fire-resistant pants along with boots and suspenders, plus a fireman's hat. There's an oiled look to him, and in his right hand he appears to be holding a rather respectable, 40 centimeter matte blade that is entirely colored red and white in a swirly pattern. In addition, he is glowing rather intensely, and not in the metaphorical way, either, and also appears to be either shivering or vibrating constantly.
As soon as he sees you, which is practically immediately, a burst of gibberish escapes his lips, which move almost too quickly to perceive, and in a flash his blade is thrust forward in what looks like a fencing stance. Next to him stands the woman, looking quite worried.
"Uh, sirs, you may feel that you have the right to enter this building with impunity, but I would advise that you turn back and leave," she says. "For your own safety," she then adds, actually sounding rather concerned. Hungry Pete looks at you, raising an eyebrow.
"Yo God? Do you know anything about other gods? Maybe Capital "G" god? Anyway about those holy quests?"
"Yeah, dude. I know a bunch of things about both of those. But I agree, holy quests come first. Well, 'holy' is kind of a pretentious term to apply to it, on reflection. Let's call them plane quests instead, okay? Your plane quest so far was to make me a fun planet with your magical powers, and you did sort of do that, but not in a really satisfying way, I guess, considering that it's more of a moon and that it keeps plopping in and out of here. I'd say keep at it, maybe start a little smaller? In any case, let's pretty this place up. I'll do the moving and shaking, you do the magicking and making. Let's go crazy, eh?"
Post by: Xantalos on November 19, 2014, 07:30:35 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 19, 2014, 07:48:10 am
Well, before I do anything else, what's up with him? No need to wield a candy cane pattern sword at me in such a manner. What magical stuff are you packing, sir?
"I think he was sum-" the woman begins, but the man jerks his head her way, and in the very same movement plunges the blade straight through her head, the blade practically blasting its way in through one side and then out the other in an altogether more messy fashion along with fragments of bone and brain. The woman's eyes go wide and her stare becomes glassy, her mouth hanging open as blood starts trickling out of it. Then the man pulls the blade out, letting her body tumble to the ground. A sound like a chainsaw plays out of his half-open mouth as his expression suddenly and near-instantly twists to a more manic one. His blade still appears to have chunks of the woman's brain on it.
Post by: Xantalos on November 19, 2014, 07:58:51 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 19, 2014, 08:42:29 am
Hmm. Pete, think you can beat this guy with my help? Assessing our options.
"I am a firm believer in empirical reasoning with faith bridging the gaps in knowledge. And since we know little other than that he's a glowing sped-up murderer, my faith tells me we will persevere!"
The man doesn't seem to have liked that description, and advances a step in a flash, waving the blade menacingly while his entire body appears to very rapidly twitch.
Post by: Xantalos on November 19, 2014, 08:50:40 am
Retreat a bit, until Psychopathic Flash is out of view. Then eat a donut if I have any left. Ask the voice nicely for spells that involve entangling things or slowing stuff down.
((Even though I haven't yet encountered those types of spells and thus can't exclusively focus on them, I figured he might try asking the voice even though it's probably futile.))
Post by: Toaster on November 19, 2014, 08:59:32 am
"Can't say I do, really. Mostly angel magic. And hats. And divine porn. Some of it will set mortals on fire if they so much as look at it?"
"Hm... how exactly do they get set on fire? Explosively, with a slow burn, some other way? Might be a way there. Plus, you know, divine porn. Mind conjuring some up, maybe? For science and all that."
Larry shrugged. "It's pretty much 'fwoosh, ash.' Pretty quick like. Like smiting or some shit. But yeah, here ya go."
Barf up some more Divine Gentleman's Literature! Aim at a wide spot since that whole railing thing at all.
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 19, 2014, 11:37:32 am
Post by: Toaster on November 19, 2014, 11:45:53 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 19, 2014, 04:34:21 pm
((Is mind control something that's generally known to be a thing?))
Are you asking me, perhaps? I tend not to reveal information about such things as a general rule.
Post by: Toaster on November 19, 2014, 04:57:19 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 19, 2014, 06:43:44 pm
Maybe he wasn't so innocent after all. Maybe he was the one that hurt Menkau. The one that was chasing me around the city. But if that is true, is involving the police really the best choice? I mean, I could call officer Rieux. Maybe we can sort this thing out. But on the other hand, maybe a one-on-one interrogation would be better. Or maybe I should just run away. ... No... No, I can't run away. This is too important for me to run away, to leave to the hands of men like him. I can't leave the choice in the hands of people I don't trust. I have to stay focused.
Post by: Pancaek on November 20, 2014, 01:14:03 pm
I'm not sure the blowing up part has anything to do with his death though..."
John scratches his stubble, pondering.
"Oh yeah, and I then tried to drink myself to death, met a man named James, and lost all track of Menkau. Man, in hindsight, the last few days have been pretty hectic."
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 23, 2014, 05:15:40 pm
"Hmm. Well, I am a believer in prudence and donuts. Therefore, I believe it would be prudent for us to retreat from this man for the moment so I may consult my donuts. If I still have any left. I think I do."
Hungry Pete shrugs, rolling his eyes.
"Well, if you insist on being all sensible about this! Move yourself away first, I shall cover our retreat!" he says, jutting his shield forward as THE DUNKER does not hesitate a second in retreat. After he's gone back into the stairwell, Hungry Pete quickly follows suit. The psychopathic fellow in the hallway, for his part, does not seem to have any intent to follow.
Once they're out of sight, THE DUNKER immediately tries desperate measures.
~Dear voice in my head, I would be most appreciative if you were to provide me with a spell that aids in the slowing or entangling of things. I believe I may be in dire straits, or indeed very much dead in the near future if I do not get something of this nature immediately, or at least soon,~ he states in as earnest a voice as he can manage. And it does seem to work, as he is met with quiet contemplation on the part of the voice, with a 'hm' interspersed here or there.
~Hm. Well, dude, normally I'd tell you that this isn't how it works, and that you're silly for trying to get me to bend the rules like that for spurious reasons. But then there's that thing you just saw, and yeah, you're pretty much fucking dead if you don't have a little something-something on your side. So I'm going to throw you a bone. Not necessarily what you asked for, of course, 'cause where's the fun in that, but this I'll guarantee - you won't get any shitty "agitate high heels" effects or anything this time around. Only the fun ones for you.~
That'll have to do, he guesses, immediately chowing down on one of his donuts.
[THE DUNKER's mind roll: 6-->4+1]
He is now something a tad different than he was before, as is usual - more unusually, though, he is a finger. Not a *finger*, mind you. An actual finger. Admittedly, it's a really massive finger, one massive enough to not only exert a significant force of gravity, but also one to naturally develop sentience simply due to the complexity of sensors and peripheral structures within it. It's not a very elaborate sentience, naturally, but it's something - he knows that he likes brushing across soft things, and does not enjoy things with a lot of friction, at least not on most days. He hates his fingernail and wishes it would just come off sometimes, since it's not doing any good to anyone. He can also recognize things that are interesting, and even figure out what some of them mean. Like, for instance, a non-Newtonian fluid, liquid nitrogen and other fingers are all things he finds interesting. That and these little tingles as he moves through the bits of the universe - recording these little tingles and sending them to all his friends and relatives is something he loves to do, not even vaguely suspecting that his colleagues consider him an annoying twit for doing such a thing, not to mention his habit of storing these tingles and replaying them later for personal amusement. He's got quite the collection, too - some are menacing, some comforting, some merely perplexing, and a lot of these have undergone secondary processing in the form of replies from his friends. But then there's a few he's kept purely to himself - these are the truly meaningful ones, the ones he needs nothing more to understand, where primary reasoning is enough. Today he will replay this collection, he thinks. All at once, perhaps? No, too unpredictable. Maybe at selected times? He could weave an entire symphony of these five notes he has.
Yes. He thinks that last part is something he might do today. No doubt his friends will appreciate it greatly - he has the feeling they will understand it just as readily as he.
Spoiler: THE DUNKER's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
As he gets back to the mortal world, Hungry Pete seems to be staring at a nonsensically vandalized pamphlet. Looking away, he examines his friend.
"Ah! You have returned from your explorations! If you have any interesting methods, feel free to try them - I shall remain behind a moment. I just remembered something!" he says, then looks back at the pamphlet. His stare becomes glassy, and THE DUNKER immediately recognizes that the man appears to be researching similarly to him.
* * * * *
Larry tries his best to explain the effects of particularly interesting divine pornography on mere mortals.
"It's pretty much 'fwoosh, ash.' Pretty quick like. Like smiting or some shit," he states eloquently. "But yeah, here ya go."
[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->3+1+1]
And from his mouth, aimed at the least precipitous location in plain view, streams out a massive load of magazines containing only the very best of holy smut. His feet lift off the ground as his lower jaw nearly detaches itself from his skull, but some extremely wonky physics save him at the very last moment, and he lands without any sort of facial or gravity-related trouble, absolutely coating a nearby walkway with a great pile of mags, some streaming off into the bottomless pit, but most remaining on the walkways without issue. Almost immediately, a few tentacles seize a good portion of it, then a few more grab the rest, disappearing into the darkness.
"That'll be great inspiration, I'm sure," his host says. "Now, unless you got some great ideas on lighting that just occurred to you, what say you we go take a look at the Wondrous Manse? And yeah, I did name each house individually. I didn't have quality literature to distract me until now."
* * * * *
Dave, long years of conditioning having persuaded him that the first stop for interesting things is no doubt the weather, starts to envision underwear weather. How would it work in a plane of dentures? What would move it? What could one do with it? Does he know enough about meteorology to not be a complete clot and actually suspect the interesting answers to these questions?
Fortunately, he believes it likely that he does indeed have something in mind - it will, of course, require copious application of awesome magic, but what good solution to a problem does not require this?
* * * * *
Eta, still slightly shocked by murder in this age of death and tragedy, quickly comes up with several potentially sensible, civically responsible things to say.
"Oh! Oh my! Really? And I spent so much time with a murderer? Oh dear. We- We must do something. What are we going to do? I- Should I call the police?"
Little Tay stares at her for a moment.
"Police will not help much. Maybe will make things worse. Instead, questions. Magic. What is it exactly, how does it work?"
* * * * *
John, having been provided with a bit of background by Mr. Pilton, courteously does the same in return.
"Ah, yes, Mister Lee. Well, he did recruit some people from the Lower Esplanade. But they went somewhat rogue on him. Then he took me and two others, gave us one of those magazines and sent us to find the previous recruitees. Long story short, my two companions went braindead, I only managed to find two of the previous recruitees and we went and took over a leyline together. Then we got tortured by a magical mancow, then the two, Trey and Luz, went to kill Mister Lee and I didn't stop them because I was depressed, drunk and a coward. So, shit happened, Lee is dead, Trey and Luz got a fate worse than dead by the mancow, I befriended the mancow whose name was Menkau and mister Lee's neighbourhood got blown to bits. I'm not sure the blowing up part has anything to do with his death, though..." he explains. "Oh yeah, and I then tried to drink myself to death, met a man named James, and lost all track of Menkau. Man, in hindsight, the last few days have been pretty hectic."
"Sure sounds like it," Mr. Pilton says, a little disturbed. "Magical mancows and elaborate plots. Things sound fucked up on the adventure-y side of the fence. And it kinda sucks that he's dead, though I guess when magical mancows are involved, shit happens as a general rule."
He thinks a bit.
"But yeah. Sounds like you've had a way crappier time of it than me thus far. Makes me feel a bit inadequate, really. So-"
Before he can get to whatever he was about to say, the waitress interrupts him. Looking at her, John notices that she is distinctly frazzled in appearance, and her oval glasses and angular features give her a rather bookish look.
"Excuse me, uh, but I couldn't help but overhear..." she begins, casting a look around the empty bistro, "that you were... talking about magic? Is that what's happening around here? Magic?"
There is a distinct sense of curiosity and wonder in her eyes, predominating over the slight quantities of fear.
"It's not really a problem, I guess," says Pilton, shrugging. "I mean, if you can't help it, you can't help it. And it's not like magic's a terribly well-kept secret, right, John?"
Post by: Toaster on November 23, 2014, 05:49:42 pm
Post by: Xantalos on November 23, 2014, 06:03:44 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 23, 2014, 06:10:08 pm
Contemplate more. Don't want a repeat of the moon fiasco.
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on November 23, 2014, 06:31:47 pm
((Oh goodness. This'll take some consideration.))((Tornado of self replicating Lard sounds nice, though it's effectiveness depends on its regenerative setting, does it replicate when cut in half, like a hydra thing? Or does it just slowly multiply?
Legion of pork queens would be nice, I would have to say.))
Post by: Xantalos on November 24, 2014, 05:45:46 am
Spells chosen! They're in the spoiler.
Prepare myself for casting magic - specifically, attempt to envision how to simultaneously cast Tornado of Self-Replicating Lard and Electric Watermelon Storm.
Spoiler: Such DUNK (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 24, 2014, 07:21:47 am
"Magic, for the most part, just works. There's no limit to what one can do with it if they concentrate really hard on a certain spell. However, there are limitations on how you use it. At least, that's what I've seen through my observations. Most wizards are limited to a limited number of spells. A limited number of magical knowledge their mind can hold. And each spell represents a certain concept. Like, for example, a hole full of skeletons or the control of alcoholic beverages or even vortices to dimensions full of certain objects. If you want to gain new spells, then you need to perform a ritual, usually related to a certain ritual object. You forget some of your old spells and gain knowledge of New ones."
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 24, 2014, 11:28:34 am
Larry shrugs. "Might as well check it out. How long you been here?"
"Not a clue. I'm mostly underground, and when I'm not, I can pretty clearly tell that there's some kind of orbital fuckery at work there. So I couldn't tell you anything about that. I assume it's long, though. Really long, since I made all this underground stuff on my own. Without tools. With some trial and error involved on a more or less grand scale."
Prepare myself for casting magic - specifically, attempt to envision how to simultaneously cast Tornado of Self-Replicating Lard and Electric Watermelon Storm.
Two spells at once? Man, you're tripping! Hungry Pete's not tripping as hard as you right now, and he's looking at his holy pamphlet of straight tripping, that's how much you're tripping right now, and that ain't no lie.
Speaking of, Hungry Pete stops tripping for a moment, making you look even worse than you already do.
"Ah! Are you ready to move ahead yet? I believe I have attained an interesting spell, but I also am of the opinion that more of use may be discovered if I try once more!"
I feel like I'm becoming some sort of magic teacher. Maybe I should organize a class. Or a TV show. "Magical lessons with Eta". I wouldn't look crazier than the rest of the people on TV.
"Magic, for the most part, just works. There's no limit to what one can do with it if they concentrate really hard on a certain spell. However, there are limitations on how you use it. At least, that's what I've seen through my observations. Most wizards are limited to a limited number of spells. A limited number of magical knowledge their mind can hold. And each spell represents a certain concept. Like, for example, a hole full of skeletons or the control of alcoholic beverages or even vortices to dimensions full of certain objects. If you want to gain new spells, then you need to perform a ritual, usually related to a certain ritual object. You forget some of your old spells and gain knowledge of New ones."
"What magic have the two... people of interest got?" Little Tay asks, taking notes. "Have you got any magic?"
Post by: Xantalos on November 24, 2014, 12:06:40 pm
*ahem*
Anyway. Yes I've got some useful spells now, but the pink voice said I shouldn't do what I did for a while again, so I'll stick with what I've got. What spells do you have right now, Pete?
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 24, 2014, 12:24:24 pm
I'm good. I think I tried to break a cardinal rule of magic and failed horribly. Remind me to try that again later.
*ahem*
Anyway. Yes I've got some useful spells now, but the pink voice said I shouldn't do what I did for a while again, so I'll stick with what I've got. What spells do you have right now, Pete?
"I can commune with angels, create a sphere of extradimensional desks, summon up a shield of stupefying corn, call upon some bristly tits, and last of all summon a platoon of fragrant poets! Now if only I could obtain a platoon of angels, then I'd be set for life. It's what I'm trying to get, you see. I almost forgot I could focus on angels ever since I drank from the leyline! How wonderful this existence has become, that I may speak with the wondrous messengers of God with but a thought and an errant word?"
Post by: Xantalos on November 24, 2014, 12:29:11 pm
Post by: Pancaek on November 24, 2014, 12:57:10 pm
Quote
And it's not like magic's a terribly well-kept secret, right, John?
"I get the distinct impression that nobody is really trying to keep it a secret. Rather, people just seem to be averse to acknowledging it's there, even when it's right in front of them. I mean, that mancow was wearing a straw hat and playing some weird instrument in broad daylight, but nobody even spared him a second glance." John says, trying not to slur his words too obviously.
Post by: Toaster on November 24, 2014, 02:41:49 pm
Go
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 25, 2014, 06:05:01 am
Yes, I admit that calling upon angels, or a platoon of them, would be very handy. Just be sure to keep that corn shield. Otherwise, I don't see why you can't try for it. I'll wait.
Hungry Pete resumes tripping, returning to sensibility in a short bit.
"No luck yet! Hm."
He then tries again, coming out significantly happier.
"Ah! Now I seem to be on to something! Not quite what I want, but could work! It may be risky, though!"
"I get the distinct impression that nobody is really trying to keep it a secret. Rather, people just seem to be averse to acknowledging it's there, even when it's right in front of them. I mean, that mancow was wearing a straw hat and playing some weird instrument in broad daylight, but nobody even spared him a second glance." John says, trying not to slur his words too obviously.
"Pretty much, I guess, though I suppose I wouldn't spare a weird-ass hobo busker a glance myself. After all, said weird-ass hobo could glance back and communicate some disease to me or something."
"So, uh, you two are... magicians?" the waitress asks.
"Wizards," Pilton corrects. "And I'm sure you have a lot of important questions, but I think I have a good way to fast track that whole thing."
He turns to look at you again.
"You want to give her magic or should I?" he asks nonchalantly. The waitress is disquieted by this.
Post by: Pancaek on November 25, 2014, 09:24:37 am
John says politely, paying close attention to what mister Pilton is about to do.
Post by: Xantalos on November 25, 2014, 09:44:57 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 26, 2014, 06:40:27 am
What is it?
"I now have two spells of interest - one to engulf a person in spiky angels of pure acetylsalicylic acid, then set said angels aflame! Untested, of course, but I have faith that the results may be quite impressive, and also probably very handy in the mandated murder of any perfidious profligates standing in our way."
"Now the question at hand seems to be this - have you a way to keep the murderous mercurial profligate from stabbing us to death while I do this?"
Post by: Xantalos on November 26, 2014, 06:52:33 am
And if he gets very close to us, there's something called a wall of enchanted traffic lights I can call into being. It seems handy.
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 26, 2014, 06:56:45 am
I can summon a platoon of female pork monarchs for him to slaughter to buy us time. I can also now summon a tornado of lard that self-replicates in addition to my watermelon storm!
And if he gets very close to us, there's something called a wall of enchanted traffic lights I can call into being. It seems handy.
"Perfection! Shall we move in now, or will you call in the platoon beforehand?"
Post by: Xantalos on November 26, 2014, 07:01:18 am
Summon Platoon of Foreign Pork Queens!
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 26, 2014, 07:13:21 am
I believe I shall call in the platoon beforehand. Always prepare before violently murdering someone with flaming acid, my mother always told me.
Summon Platoon of Foreign Pork Queens!
[Affinity roll: 1-->2+1]
You concentrate on the ground near the stairwell, and miraculously a middle-aged woman garbed in a massively heavy-looking dress made out of meat, a crown of the same resting on her head, a powerful macelike scepter in her hand. A short outburst of gobbledygook escapes her lips, and she lifts up her non-scepter hand toward you, on it you notice a rather sizable ring. She turns her head upward a little, shutting her eyes with great gravity.
Post by: Xantalos on November 26, 2014, 07:18:10 am
Kiss the ring in the polite fashion, then apply the Niklas principle: if something, in this case the spell, didn't succeed, try again!
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 26, 2014, 07:36:54 am
Hmm. That didn't work to the extent that it should have. Let me try again.
Kiss the ring in the polite fashion, then apply the Niklas principle: if something, in this case the spell, didn't succeed, try again!
The ring leaves the taste of raw pork on your lips, which you find inexplicably delicious at this hour. The queen then offers the hand to Hungry Pete, who does the same, adding a gentlemanly kneel to further the effect. The queen looks rather satisfied before taking a look around and noticing that she appears to be bereft of minions and also currently inside a disreputable establishment full of exposed flesh and other crude things. She looks at Hungry Pete, beckoning him, then you to follow offhandedly as she starts walking downstairs. You pay her no particular mind as you commence the second casting of the spell, trying to figure out where exactly did the whole platoon thing go wrong.
[Affinity roll: 3+2]
You figure it was a power issue, and voila, pouring more power into it seems to have solved the problem! The entire stairwell is immediately filled with a number of queens somewhere between twenty and thirty, of disparate ages (from barely adult to some really old biddies having trouble with their pork regalia) and looks, though each seems to have quite a bit of dignity to her nevertheless. They waste no time getting into a formation inasmuch as the staircase allows, preparing to go wherever you may lead them.
"Splendid!" says Hungry Pete, attracting the attention of the first queen, who looks slightly scandalized at not being obviously the most important person in the room anymore, gaping at the sudden appearance of at least twenty nobles of equal status. When they do not all demand to have their rings kissed by the two peasants within the next five seconds, she barely suppresses a shocked gasp.
Post by: Xantalos on November 26, 2014, 08:38:29 am
If Pete's ready, direct the queens to charge at the speedy man! If not, wait until he's ready and perform said action.
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 26, 2014, 09:16:20 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 26, 2014, 09:30:14 am
Excellent! You ready, Pete?
If Pete's ready, direct the queens to charge at the speedy man! If not, wait until he's ready and perform said action.
"Hold on a second..." says Pete, raising his finger and muttering something to himself. This takes a few moments. "Okay, ready!"
With that, you order the queens to charge inside the hallway into that speedy fellow, hoping that the distraction works as the file into it, with you and Pete bringing up the rear. As the two of you get into the room at last, you see the man still there, currently looking busy shanking the queens moving into his personal space. Pete, seeing an opportunity, immediately strikes, his hand tensely and accusatorily pointing at the murderous man, who has just executed one of the older queens without batting an eye in the space of a second.
[Pete's affinity roll: 4-1]
A spiky angel of pure white immediately appears on the speedy man, clutching him with its thorny appendages, the spikes seemingly biting painfully into his flesh.
[PF's body roll: 6-->6+1]
The man reacts with a loud screech and a violent explosion, blasting the creature straight off himself. Oddly, he seems to glow a little less now, what little can be seen of him as he shanks another queen in the chest five times.
"I know the DUNKER can control booze and summon floating cans and that Joanie can create cocaine and exude it from her body, but that's it. And for all I know they could had gotten new spells by now. I also have some magic, but I don't see what that has to do with anything. I only use it for my research."
"Very well. How easy is magic to get?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 26, 2014, 10:15:31 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 26, 2014, 10:18:39 am
"You just need a ritual object. Anybody who performs a ritual gains access to magic. I still don't see how this is relevant to that horrible person."
"Magic is advantageous," he says. "Now, ritual objects. Explain. Please," he says the last word late enough to seem like an afterthought.
Post by: Xantalos on November 26, 2014, 06:16:30 pm
Summon another battalion of pork queens!
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 27, 2014, 03:20:11 am
Hmm. Let's have some more queens, it seems like it's working.
Summon another battalion of pork queens!
[Your affinity roll: 4+1]
At your beckoning, the same number of brand new queens materializes in the middle of the melee, joining the battle quite readily and making the hallway, which was at best meant for three people at once to pass through in terms of width, rather hilariously cramped. The man continues stabbing his sword into all nearby people, however, abating only in terms of his movements becoming slightly inhibited by the sea of pork royalty he needs to cut through.
[Hungry Pete's affinity roll: 5+1]
Fortunately, the way he doesn't move around quite as violently is just perfect for Hungry Pete to engulf him in a very sizable sphere made of compacted white angels, which immediately begins to violently contort. Hungry Pete immediately starts working on the very next spell, eager to bring business to a close.
[Hungry Pete's affinity roll: 3]
Unfortunately, though, the whole bit where he sets the angels on fire hits a bit of a snag, as only one particular angel bursts into flames - while this does create a muffled screeching coming from within the pile, it doesn't seem quite as effective as initially surmised, and the angelic formation begins to deform. The queens, slightly confused as well as crowded, look to you for new orders.
Post by: Pancaek on November 27, 2014, 07:54:14 am
"I'll have to let you take the lead here, I'm afraid. Mister Lee just sort of pushed these weird magazines in our hands and called it a day. My mind went blank and I kind of lost some memories when I read it, but I'm pretty sure he never actually told us how to give magic to others. So, if you'd be so kind?"Missed me?
John says politely, paying close attention to what mister Pilton is about to do.
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 27, 2014, 08:30:54 am
Missed me?
No, just keeping your dialogue in store for the big turn while I get through a bunch of stuff with the two people who are a bit behind. It's important for causality that they get their turns done first and more frequently, at least for the moment.
Post by: Pancaek on November 27, 2014, 09:27:00 am
No, just keeping your dialogue in store for the big turn while I get through a bunch of stuff with the two people who are a bit behind. It's important for causality that they get their turns done first and more frequently, at least for the moment.
((Ah, sorry. I wasn't sure.))
Post by: Xantalos on November 27, 2014, 12:40:23 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 27, 2014, 12:57:03 pm
Attack the person inside the sphere of angels, o queens, for he has most grievously insulted your countries!
They start vigorously attacking the engulfed man, trying to keep him in place with synchronized whacks with their scepters, which seems to certainly work to a degree, giving Hungry Pete another solid chance at loosing his spell.
[Hungry Pete's affinity roll: 4]
Immediately more of the sphere is set aflame, and the screeching sound intensifies. It seems that the psychopath within is having a little trouble handling this in a quiet, dignified manner, and starts rolling about quite rapidly, a single arm punching out of the sphere, sword in hand - it wastes no time and stabs at the queens, stabbing one of the younger ones straight through the throat, then another in the gut. In both cases long-term survival seems remote, judging by the amount of blood.
[Hungry Pete's affinity roll: 5]
Finally, due to Hungry Pete's continued efforts, every single spiky angel around the man is very solidly on fire! It can rather easily be observed how the stabbing arm starts to blister and burn under the heat, and the queens mostly try to stay away from the sphere before their dresses begin sizzling, whacking at the stabbing arm whenever it gets in range.
"Well! That is all I have for now. Any other ideas?" Hungry Pete wonders, looking at you.
Post by: Xantalos on November 27, 2014, 01:02:58 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 27, 2014, 01:54:37 pm
Well, I can theoretically just summon queens until he dies. Or is lard flammable?
"There's one way to find out!"
Post by: Xantalos on November 27, 2014, 03:15:07 pm
Wait until the guy dies, I suppose? Summon more pork queens and direct them at him if he starts getting too close to us.
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 27, 2014, 05:01:22 pm
Let's test that out after this speedy gentleman dies, otherwise it could end in hilarious catastrophe.
Wait until the guy dies, I suppose? Summon more pork queens and direct them at him if he starts getting too close to us.
It takes him but a few minutes to expire, and he does not go quietly at all. It's pretty fun to watch, though, and a little silly, so you suppose that's okay.
"I feel unusually close to my Puritan ancestors, don't you, fellow pilgrim?" Hungry Pete idly wonders. "Now! I suppose it might be time to be moving on. Shall we go slay ourselves some filthy people-murdering, blessing-hoarding profligates?"
Post by: Xantalos on November 27, 2014, 06:05:41 pm
Yes, let's! And more importantly, hoard those blessings for ourselves!
Onward past the place that guy was guarding! See if his desiccated corpse has any loot first. To the leyline!
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 28, 2014, 07:49:24 am
"Magic is really not that great. Most of it is at best useless curiosities and at worst a recipe for disaster. Only few spells are capable of doing any good and those are only useful in certain situations. Not to mention that any casting of any spell may result in a disaster for the caster and those around them if they are not concentrated enough or if they use the spell irresponsibly."
"Besides, and I mean no offense by this, I only give magic to those I feel I can trust. To those I believe will try to use it responsibly or who are capable of learning how to do good with it. And I am sorry to say that I know you for a very small amount of time to be able to trust you."
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 28, 2014, 12:34:28 pm
The DUNKER shrugs.
Yes, let's! And more importantly, hoard those blessings for ourselves!
Onward past the place that guy was guarding! See if his desiccated corpse has any loot first. To the leyline!
There's no real corpse to access, unfortunately, just a crunchy, crispy arm poking out of the sphere. It's still clutching the small sword, though! Free loot!
[Body roll: 2-1]
Or maybe not. You're not sure you want to grab the blade and try to pull it out yourself, and the hand seems peculiarly resistant to mechanical abuse you level at it. Pah. Fine! It can keep its dinky little blade. You command powers far more unnatural and amazing anyway.
Also, you know, you might poke your eye out with it if you're not careful.
At any rate, you and Hungry Pete continue onward for a little bit, the queens following closely behind, until you reach an office with a collapsed wall. Intuition tells you that this may be the place you're looking for. As does the presence of people, all huddled up and looking worried.
In the middle is a rather fat fellow, looking to be in quite a bit of pain. A woman next to him is bandaging his hands, the bandages quite red at the moment, and doing so with great urgency at that. Looking on is a rather silly-looking blond chunky fellow with a curiously large head, who immediately looks your way as you approach.
"Vhoa, dude! Zey are here!" he says, looking at the fat guy.
"Aw, shit, it's him again. I should have known. And now he has friends," the fat guy mutters, looking around nervously for something, his face quite pale.
"Yeah, I think we're in trouble," she goes, looking at Hungry Pete, then at you, then at the queens who seem to have followed you inside. "You, uh, mind waiting a second so we can get ready? Shit's a bit hectic right now."
Behind them you can feel the leyline, practically sparkling with wondrous power.
"Ah! You think to mislead me again, fools? I shall not be turned from my quest so easily a second time!" Hungry Pete goes, looking over at the silly guy, immediately encasing him in a white, spiky sphere. It's odd, because just as the angels coalesce around him, you see a terrible resignation in the man's eyes.
"Let's not be hasty here!" the fat guy says half-hysterically, waving his bloodied bandaged hands at the two of you peacefully. "What seems to be the problem? And can we maybe help you out?"
"Yeah!" the woman goes. "We're ready to, uh, make amends!"
"Almost every wizard has a ritual object. You'll know when you see one. For one it may be a doughnut, for another a magazine. They use it in their rituals to gain access to magical knowledge."
"Magic is really not that great. Most of it is at best useless curiosities and at worst a recipe for disaster. Only few spells are capable of doing any good and those are only useful in certain situations. Not to mention that any casting of any spell may result in a disaster for the caster and those around them if they are not concentrated enough or if they use the spell irresponsibly."
"Besides, and I mean no offense by this, I only give magic to those I feel I can trust. To those I believe will try to use it responsibly or who are capable of learning how to do good with it. And I am sorry to say that I know you for a very small amount of time to be able to trust you."
"Noted," Little Tay says, looking over the notes he's taken over the past few minutes. You wonder if any of them say that you're to be killed violently as soon as possible. You're not sure if that's just a paranoid suspicion. He then gives you a dull look that suggests that your business with him is probably done for the moment, at least in his opinion.
Post by: Toaster on November 28, 2014, 12:40:25 pm
Post by: Xantalos on November 28, 2014, 04:15:20 pm
((It's the Fat Guy!))((Fat guy-off!))
Now now, I'm not sure what atrocities Pete visited upon you, but we just want access to the leyline.
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 29, 2014, 12:35:23 pm
Else, get back to my room, but try to make it safer, in case of anyone trying to kill me. Lock the door, put something fragile on a chair behind it, make sure the windows don't open from the outside and that the curtains are closed, stuff like that. Set the alarm clock early.
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 29, 2014, 02:17:23 pm
Really, there's not much thought to be put in this. It's more a matter of chance - whether magic will feel like coming out in massive multitudes or not. It's probably impossible to create proper underwear weather with the storm spell, though perhaps if he were able to make it rain, similarly to the whole dinosaur thing a while back, why, then he might be in business. Although he has to wonder if the Denture God isn't able to help, maybe supply some power, gumption, pizzazz and all the other things one needs to make magic come out in great miraculous gouts and spurts. With the moon thing he guesses much of the volatile power came from the way he was combining shit left and right, which suspicion backed by unvoiced agreement from within his head tells him he's not really supposed to be doing. Maybe having a god on his side would be helpful in this case as well?
* * * * *
"Wicked. Maybe that's why I can't find Cal. Anyway, sure, let's go," Larry says, following the tentacles of his host and the light of the captured angel over to what he assumes to be the Wondrous Manse - perhaps the name's a tad dramatic, since it's basically a block of lined, engraved stone with a passageway leading into it.
Inside's not much more interesting - a little empty, with a lot of adorned stone furniture, but nothing else - the stonework is downright exceptional, but it all feels very drab without some contrast.
"Not very wondrous, right? Well, this has been a big problem so far. There's no stuff to work with here on Mercury. Stone, pretty much, since we can't get any damn metal out of the stone because, of course, there's no fuel, no fire and nothing else to tool around with, and the friends of mine who've tried messing with the core and getting heat from that have been kinda shit out of luck thus far. Without fire, there's no glass, no warmth, no illumination, pretty much nothing at all to work with. It sucks the big one. I keep trying to convince one of our angel guys to go to the Kingdom of the Deep and maybe work out a trade or something, but I think they've been misunderstanding what I was saying," his host narrates with an air of immense frustration.
* * * * *
"I'll have to let you take the lead here, I'm afraid. Mister Lee just sort of pushed these weird magazines in our hands and called it a day. My mind went blank and I kind of lost some memories when I read it, but I'm pretty sure he never actually told us how to give magic to others. So, if you'd be so kind?" says John, looking at Mr. Pilton curiously to see what he's about to do.
"Oh well. Guess I do have more practice in this thing. And a very handy tool, no less!" Mr. Pilton says, then pulls out a matchbox from his pocket, turning to the waitress. "Look alive!"
"Wait! Don't I get a say-" the waitress says, but is cut off as the match is struck, a regular-looking flame dancing at the tip of it. The waitress stares at it intently, her eyes glazing over as she instinctively leans toward the flame. This continues for a bit, Mr. Pilton smiling as he holds the match, winking at John.
"It's working!" he whispers amusedly. He moves his hand to the side a little, and the woman's eyes follow the flame, and her head ponderously does the same in a few seconds. After a short while, the woman snaps out of it, prompting an excited giggle from the fellow. She stumbles back a tad, adjusting her glasses, then looks upon Mr. Pilton silently. She slowly mouths a 'what the fuh?'
"I don't really what you saw, dear, but rest assured that it's completely normal and we don't think less of you for it. Now, here's your matchbox," he says, offering her the one he struck a match from, then taking her hand and pushing it into her grasp when she doesn't immediately take it. "Any time you have a question, any kind of question, strike one of those matches."
The woman strikes a match, staring at the flame vacantly as it burns through the match, falling out of her hands as it starts burning her fingers.
"I think she's a natural, personally," says Mr. Pilton to John as the woman gets out of her trance.
"That's really weird," she states.
"You thought it would be otherwise?"
"... point taken, I guess?"
"Oh, and you're going to want to look for leylines if you feel like getting more magic in you, by the by. Give me a call if you need to be pointed in the right direction sometime later," he says, handing a napkin with his number scribbled on it to the waitress.
"Uh, okay. Are there a lot of, uh, wizards around here?"
"Loads and loads. I know more wizards presently than normal people. Well, I think. Depends on what you count as knowing a person. I don't count, for instance, Lauren from Human Resources since I don't know her last name and we've never spoken more than two words to each other."
"Erm. Uh. Well... okay, yeah," she stammers. "Who are you people, anyway?"
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, trying to be the voice of reason since there's probably no way he can be the bad cop to Hungry Pete, addresses the two cornered wizards.
"Now now, I'm not sure what atrocities Pete visited upon you, but we just want access to the leyline."
Hungry Pete looks quite frankly insulted by this.
"I visited atrocities upon them? They sent me across town to the school, right into the clutches of the demon that ate my most promising friend! And their other cohorts killed my flock! I have done nothing malicious or atrocious to them at all!"
"Indeed, sir, you are entirely without fault, and it is with this in mind that we officially repent," says the fat guy on the ground, looking very apologetic. "We have seen the error of our ways, and would very much offer you the leyline-"
"The finger of God?"
"Yes, yes, the finger of God for you to use however you please, as long as you allow us to stay here and conduct some research on it. We won't interfere with whatever you or your friend currently seem to want, since hey, no harm, no foul, right? Use the... finger however you need. It's not like hoarding it is doing us or anyone else much good, right?"
Hungry Pete seems thoughtful.
"Hm. Your groveling is most enticing, but I am not sure if you should be let off that easily. After all, your minions could have murdered us both had we not murdered them first."
"Is the groveling really not enough? C'mon, dude, we did say we're sorry! Right, Jo?" he looks at the woman who's bandaging him.
"Very sorry!" says the woman, wrapping up (so to speak) the bandaging and turning to face the two conquerors and their army.
A muffled apology comes out of the spiky ball of angels as well.
"I say!" Hungry Pete declares. "That sounds all fine and good. But what say you, fellow pilgrim," he asks of THE DUNKER, "that we give these people a test so that they can prove their goodwill?"
* * * * *
Eta, filled with suspicion that has only increased after discovering that the weird donut guy in the suit is actually a vicious murderer, or at least unfortunately involved in helping the unsurprisingly viciously murderous Joanie, retires to her room and puts a chair in front of the door, balancing a fragile lamp on its edge along with a few metal mugs. Surely this is a foolproof alarm system, she thinks as she secures the windows. All things taken care of, she sets an early alarm, at about 8 AM or so, and it is for only about this long that she can successfully stave off sleep, losing consciousness shortly thereafter.
Most unsurprisingly, since it is about 5 AM when she falls asleep, she is extremely tempted to ignore the alarm, since after last night she feels like complete shit, to put it mildly. No way getting up now is going to result in a good or productive morning, she's fairly sure, and that may very well not be just her rather tired brain talking.
Post by: Xantalos on November 29, 2014, 02:34:21 pm
To the leyline!
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 29, 2014, 02:42:59 pm
Eh, leyline first, trials later.
To the leyline!
It's right there in front of you, slightly behind and above the fat guy and the lady.
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 29, 2014, 02:56:58 pm
Post by: Xantalos on November 29, 2014, 03:16:55 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 29, 2014, 04:20:06 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 29, 2014, 05:39:42 pm
Turn on the TV, hoping for news. Stay in bed for a bit.
News are very hard for you to concentrate on at the moment. That, and they seem rather banal. There's the castle of dentures, yeah. You can see it. It's cool. It's... uh... a bit bigger than you remember it, maybe?
Probably nothing to worry about.
The monotonous, clear diction of the newscaster is dangerously close to putting you to sleep again. You blink a few times and look at the alarm clock. It's 10 AM now, so you suppose you were on the money on that front. The news have given way to reruns of afternoon soaps. Your sleepiness has barely abated.
Hmm. Recall how I tapped into the last one, then replicate the process here. LET THE MAGIC INTO MY GIZZARD
You recall... you don't really need to recall anything, since you mostly just winged it and then fell several floors to the ground. You try to avoid the latter and, there being no precipices nearby, it seems that you're going to be just fine on that front. You instinctively (mentally, for some reason your instincts don't see fit to guide your body in the direction of it) grasp for the leyline, and there it goes like a chemical reaction - you swing enough will and perceivable compatibility its way and the process is spontaneous, and a small, probably insignificant chunk of your body somewhere in the nasal area feels like it's heated to a boil, then bombarded with antimatter. A white light flashes in your skull, and you shiver as an infinitesimal part of you is replaced by pure lightning, the magical kind that blatantly disregards any kind of physics and that one could comfortably hold in a handy-dandy magical lightning box, the role of the latter currently being filled by a bit of cartilage somewhere inside your face.
You have aligned yourself with a leyline! Extra stat point obtained! In addition, any previously researched Element, such as Lard or Queen, can now be selected as a spell research criterion!
When you can process regular information again, you notice you have a green sandwich in your stupidly open mouth and more green sandwich all over your suit. Hungry Pete's missing his shield, the fat guy's waving his arms around uselessly and the lady's engulfed in a spiky sphere of angels. The sandwich, you are pleased to note, tastes very green. Like vegetables or something. You chew on it a moment to make sure, savoring its intricate improbability.
[Your mind roll: 3+1]
The taste quickly grows overwhelming, and your brain fires unpredictably at this stimulus, this amazing greenness of the bread, the ham, the... fried eggs? And the celery! Who can forget the celery? Your mind shoots into the glorious unknown, plunging into distant soil, taking root, then sending out tendrils as it seeks to find more of what it wants - at the moment, it seems to be dirt that it wants, probably to clear its palate and make itself ready for new things, and soon indeed it brings its great stem out of the ground, reaching toward sweet air and nourishing sun, great tongues shooting off the central axis, seeking all that they can experience, and a great many things does it experience indeed as a fortuitous wind blows its way - it carries scents of distant lands sucked in through many little nostrils on the underside of the tongues, traces of lost knowledge making heretofore unknown parts of your mind excited for more, and a sheer sense of wonder at the previously unknown stimulating you to grow further, reach for it, find its origin...
Spoiler: Your Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
By the time you come to, you notice Hungry Pete standing uncertainly next to a small pit, throwing rather nasty glances in the direction of the now entirely engulfed other people - three separate white spheres. Huh. Seems like he's handling himself, even if he doesn't have the shield.
"Treacherous profligates! You have crossed the children of God one too many times!" he says venomously, probably winding up some nice flames and trying to figure out who to roast inside their shell first.
"WAIT! OTHER GUY! NOT CRAZY GUY!" comes a partly muffled shout from the middle sphere. "HELP! WE CAN UPGRADE LEYLINES!"
"Ah!" he says, looking at the engulfed fat guy. "You first! No doubt about it!"
"Yo God? Think you could funnel some divine jim jam into my spell matrix or whatever? Make it more powerful?"
"I can line up a little godly something-something for your magical ministrations, no trouble at all, dude," the Denture God replies.
Post by: Pancaek on November 29, 2014, 05:39:53 pm
he turns to Pilton
"So what's with the matchbox? Mister Lee used a magazine. Is it different for every wizard, or does the specific object used not really matter?"
Post by: Xantalos on November 29, 2014, 05:49:34 pm
+1 Mind! Changes noted in character sheet; took Fraction Lard.
The DUNKER just then notices Pete about to commit faticide.
Hey wait, Pete! They said they could upgrade this thing! I - we could get more magic potency!
Besides, what did they even do to deserve smiting? Didn't you get the leyline juice? Plus that sandwich was pretty good. Where'd that come from?
Spoiler: DUNKER (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 29, 2014, 06:12:02 pm
"It's not really 'us people', really. I don't think most of us actually know eachother. I'm John, recovering alcoholic, pleased to meet you."
he turns to Pilton
"So what's with the matchbox? Mister Lee used a magazine. Is it different for every wizard, or does the specific object used not really matter?"
"Hey, uh, John. Likewise, I guess? I'm Tracey," the woman says, scratching her head. The name tag on her uniform matches, you notice.
"And I'm Kermit Q. Pilton, marketing genius and local arch-mage," Mr. Pilton says.
"Really?" she asks curiously.
"No, not really. But the name's legit, at least," he shrugs, becoming a touch morose for a moment, then turning to you. "As for the matchbox, that's the way I picked from the start. Seemed unconventional and stylish, see. My inner voice certainly liked it. And it's got its perks, as you could see just now, like I can give somebody magic without them needing to push their face into a book or whatever. Plus, if you don't tell a person that you can put any matches in the matchbox and they'll turn magic, there's a chance they'll come back to you and keep asking for more. If they're not particularly sharp, of course."
He turns to Tracey again. "Not that I would withhold information from people without a very good reason, of course."
"With all due respect, it's the very good reasons that I'm afraid of the most right now," she says.
Hey wait, Pete! They said they could upgrade this thing! I - we could get more magic potency!
Besides, what did they even do to deserve smiting? Didn't you get the leyline juice? Plus that sandwich was pretty good. Where'd that come from?
"Two words, fellow pilgrim - last gasps. These profligates are not to be trusted, and honestly the world will be a better place without them," Pete explains. "I would not listen to their pleading. They can smell their death."
Just then, Hungry Pete barely dodges a set of green sandwiches flying haphazardly in his direction.
"You see! They'll try anything!" he says. "Even spouting blasphemy such as improving upon the design of God!"
"IT'S NOT THE FUCKING DESIGN OF GOD!" the shouting from the middle sphere intensifies, sounding rightly pissed off. "IT'S ALL ABOUT THE SURROUNDING LANDSCAPE! I CAN SHOW YOU THE PLANS!"
"Oh, he's definitely burning first," Hungry Pete says, his mind set on setting somebody on fire with his mind, it seems.
Post by: Xantalos on November 29, 2014, 06:28:14 pm
Plus more power, Pete. More power. It's in me now like donut withdrawal. I deeply desire it, man.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on November 29, 2014, 06:44:22 pm
Get this mad party up and running in dentureland
Post by: Toaster on November 29, 2014, 09:27:34 pm
"Uh... you're near the Sun here right? Why not just use sunlight? Solar or whatever that crap is."
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 29, 2014, 09:57:44 pm
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 30, 2014, 05:30:29 am
What about if God's design is perfect and stuff, but he needs believers to build it for him upon this plane? He could be an unwitting holy agent and stuff!
Plus more power, Pete. More power. It's in me now like donut withdrawal. I deeply desire it, man.
Pete looks quite annoyed now.
"I have a question, then. Does the finger of God feel, how did he put it, 'upgraded' to you?"
As he asks this, the middle sphere suddenly starts to glow, then decomposes before your very eyes. The fat guy, his hands no longer bloody, stands up from the ground.
"It's not upgraded yet, dillweed. We need a bit more time," he explains. Hungry Pete gives him a dirty look.
"Back to captivity with you!" he says, aiming a hand at him. A few angels coalesce around the fat guy, clutching him painfully with their spiky claws.
"Ow! Fuck, that hurts!" the fat guy shouts. At the same time, the sphere with the lady inside it glows as well, and she immediately emerges, looking just as pristine as the fat guy.
"Guys, how about we stop this whole nonsense right now?" she says. "I think it's pretty clear Jesus-freak here isn't going to listen to reason."
"None of your so-called reason, that is for sure!"
"He isn't, yeah," the fat guy says. "But maybe the other guy will? Seriously, dude. Leylines. We can upgrade 'em if we get some more resources."
The woman twists in place for a moment, and seems to undergo something like binary fission, as a non-identical person begins to bud off her, though something appears to go wrong in the process, leaving her with a half-formed though nevertheless highly attractive twin conjoined at the hip.
"Well, shit. That didn't work very well, did it?" she says, and her stunted twin shrugs ambivalently.
"I do hope you are not about to be tempted into profligacy by this crew of incompetents," says Hungry Pete, and as he says this about twelve people in puffy shirts appear behind the three other wizards, looking very delicate and filling the room with a soft fragrance and lyrical atmosphere.
"This is really not going well for us, is it? I knew we should have put more things outside to keep people out."
"Ha! Whatever defenses you could conjure, faithful pilgrims could easily-" Hungry Pete begins, but then a green sandwich sails through the air, striking him square in the eyes. He cries out and begins rubbing his eyes. "That was a good shot! But it is too little, too late!" he says, seemingly not quite blinded by the strike. Before he can manage to do much else, though, a hole suddenly appears beneath him. Pete tries his best to avoid it, but it's a bit difficult to do so when both of his feet no longer have solid ground beneath them. He narrowly manages to grab onto the ledge. "Ack! Help me!" he shouts, and his twelve-man squad immediately moves over to help.
"Look, dude," the fat guy says, looking at you. "That guy is batshit insane, and we're not. I've got a plan to help us get a lot of magic from this leyline, and he clearly doesn't. Can we work something out involving you helping us, or should we three just vacate the premises and come back later when you raiders have lost interest? Because let's face it, we aren't really kitted out to fight either of you at the moment."
Larry scratches his head. Science, in general, wasn't his strong point, but wasn't Mercury a hot planet? Like, close to the Sun or something? One of the closer ones at any rate.
"Uh... you're near the Sun here right? Why not just use sunlight? Solar or whatever that crap is."
"It gets pretty hot on the daylight side, yeah, but not really enough to melt rocks, you know? Not enough to make glass or do metallurgy stuff, just enough to be a pain in the ass if you build surface installations out of Earth goods, especially with the temperature fluctuations. If I had some lenses, then maybe we'd be in business, but there's no glass, as mentioned. Can't cross heavens, either, since I'm just a regular dead guy, and a lower-rung one at that, not any kind of angel-type."
"I was kind of lucky to meet that engineer guy up here, in retrospect. Otherwise I wouldn't know a quarter of this crap."
Check to make sure nobody else is in the room. Then take a nice cold shower. Then try a match.
You don't see, hear or smell anybody else in the room. Your alarm is similarly undisturbed. The bathroom is no different, and you make quite an exhaustive search.
The cold shower is immensely unpleasant, and makes you want to retreat to the warm bed again, but you do feel significantly more awake now. Awake enough to try some interesting magic!
[Mind roll: 6-->3+1]
Though it occurs to you that lighting a match in a hotel room and then hallucinating for a while with no thought devoted to fire safety might not be the greatest idea, you figure nothing too bad can happen in the space of a few minutes, right? Well, you hope, at least. It'd kind of suck if you got back to reality and you were on fire or something and didn't notice before you had third degree burns or something.
In any case, hallucinations of power ensue! Once again, all is dark, and opening or closing your eyes basically does nothing. You spin around a little in the seemingly gravity-deprived area, and find it to be rather expansive, since you can't touch any edges. With this in mind, you search about for something useful, and are duly rewarded when your foot lightly touches something. Spinning and twisting in its direction, you manage to grab onto it with your arm - it's slightly furry, and also rather warm. Not moving, though, you notice, or breathing, either. You run your hands across its surface. Has four legs, a thin tail, a small udder and no head - probably a cow, you decide, or some off-brand derivative at any rate.
Strangely, the stump where the head should be seems to be completely hollow, the cow seemingly being a set of rigid skin and nothing more - curiously lacking in good judgment, you decide to reach your hand into the stump to test this, and do find something in there - a switch, hanging in there without any obvious form of support, its frame completely immovable while the switch seems extremely sensitive, a property you discover when running your finger over it immediately flips it, and for a moment you, despite keeping your eyes closed, observe the shadow cast by you of all people as the hollow cow begins to glow brightly. Your shadow is the only part of your surroundings that does not hurt your eyes, and it feels strangely animate and alive as it moves independently of you, demonstrating secrets that did not quite occur to you before, but seem perfectly obvious in retrospect.
Spoiler: Your Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on November 30, 2014, 12:04:28 pm
Hm... no, I won't be taking any of those spells.
Although the goodify one sounds interesting. Wonder what would happen if I washed with goodified shampoo.
Still, I have an idea...
Get dressed. Then very slowly open the door and take a peek outside. If all is well, slowly and carefully make my way outside. If successful and nobody intercepts me, then make my way towards the nearest place that could give me access to a computer and the internet. It's time to do some magical research and perhaps post my findings.
I am assuming I do not have any internet capable devices like smartphones, right?
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on November 30, 2014, 12:05:53 pm
Post by: Xantalos on November 30, 2014, 12:23:50 pm
Hey Pete! What if we just let them try it out to redeem themselves? After all, you've proven they can't stand against our might, and if they fail then we have the leyline. But if they succeed, you'll be able to commune with God more fully than you have ever before. Everyone wins!
As he talks, he moves over to directly above where Pete is on the edge of the pit.
Post by: Harry Baldman on November 30, 2014, 12:42:22 pm
Goodify? Is that a real word? Well, I guess if magic says it is...
Hm... no, I won't be taking any of those spells.
Although the goodify one sounds interesting. Wonder what would happen if I washed with goodified shampoo.
Still, I have an idea...
Get dressed. Then very slowly open the door and take a peek outside. If all is well, slowly and carefully make my way outside. If successful and nobody intercepts me, then make my way towards the nearest place that could give me access to a computer and the internet. It's time to do some magical research and perhaps post my findings.
I am assuming I do not have any internet capable devices like smartphones, right?
You do have a smartphone in your bag, to compensate for your old one that got disappeared forever. A smartphone plus a few other things that may or may not be a technological level ahead of smartphones and that look like they'd probably need surgical insertion into your brain or hand to work properly. What's more, this place has some pretty decent wi-fi coverage. The inside of your bag, peculiarly, seems to have even better wi-fi coverage.
Knowing all this, you suspect you could stay in this room completely unbothered by civilization for days if you felt like it, living off chewing gum and the internet like a proper modern lady.
Larry grunted. "Oh. Huh. Can't you, like, trade with someone from another heaven? There's salsa angels and cheese angels and smut angels, so why not eighteen wheeler angels or whatever?"
"I could, but then I'd need to find an angel first, and they avoid this place more than they do the moon, I hear, since at least on the moon you can laugh at all the inconstant people, while here everything's too dark and drab to bother seeing. And I don't think angels can be bothered with trade, by and large. They're not big on personal possessions in the first place."
Hmm. On one hand I really do want more power, I'm choosing that either way. On the other hand, Pete's been really helpful in getting here. Plus he's really good at killing people. Let me see if I can convince him one more time.
Hey Pete! What if we just let them try it out to redeem themselves? After all, you've proven they can't stand against our might, and if they fail then we have the leyline. But if they succeed, you'll be able to commune with God more fully than you have ever before. Everyone wins!
As he talks, he moves over to directly above where Pete is on the edge of the pit.
"I would indeed normally go with that suggestion," says Pete, getting pulled out of the pit, "but now they've gone and pissed me off with this whole attacking business. So off to hell they go if I have anything to say about it!"
"Fantastic choice, man," the woman sarcastically says, pointing her hand at Pete. A beam of dark green liquid shoots straight into Pete's shoulder, putting him off balance right at the edge of the pit. Pete falls backwards, barely holding on to the pit's edges with his hands and feet in a vaguely comical manner.
"Poets! Help!" he shouts as he tries to get his bearings, but another sandwich shooting from the only remaining sphere hits him straight in the belly, causing him to lose his grip on the side of the pit partly, leaving him hanging on with only one hand. How dramatic. One particularly dainty poet grabs the hand and starts to pull him up.
Post by: Toaster on November 30, 2014, 12:54:39 pm
Post by: Xantalos on November 30, 2014, 12:57:16 pm
Dangit Pete, I really liked doing stuff with you.
Call over my massive amount of Pork Queens and tell them to push Pete and the poet guys down into the pit.
Post by: Pancaek on November 30, 2014, 04:20:46 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on December 01, 2014, 11:26:56 pm
Also, use the powers of the bag to insert my golden shoes in it, if possible.
Then use the bag's network to research the hotel and the people in it. Anything will do, from simple reviews to police reports.
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 02, 2014, 08:19:38 am
"Huh. Guess I could ask Cal, if he can be arsed to show up. Was supposed to meet me here an hour ago. HEY CAL WHERE ARE YOU?" The last comment was directed at his marked hand.
"Oh hey, dude, what's up? I'm running a bit late, since I ran into Mona over on the Sun - haven't seen her in a thousand years! Had to catch up! So, what's going on?" Cal replies after a few moments of silence from your hand.
The DUNKER sighs.
Dangit Pete, I really liked doing stuff with you.
Call over my massive amount of Pork Queens and tell them to push Pete and the poet guys down into the pit.
The queens oblige, swarming over the pit and depositing all twelve of the poets and Pete down there through the force of superior numbers without even needing to beat anyone with their scepters. They seem very satisfied at the outcome. Pete, though, seems significantly less pleased.
"I feel slightly betrayed, fellow pilgrim!" he shouts from the bottom of the pit. "Though I admit I may have been a tad rash!"
"You were trying to murder all three of us! For spurious reasons, no less!" shouts the fat guy right back.
"Spurious? You were indirectly responsible for all the bad things that have happened to me!"
"But I did point ya in the right direction, didn't I!" the fat guy says with righteous indignation.
"Well, okay, a little spurious. But I lost track of the demon who may or may not have eaten my sidekick, and I have no one else to kill for revenge!"
"Have ya tried not killing anybody, perhaps?"
"The thought is occurring to me in this pit of flat harlots, yes!"
"That's the spirit! Now stay down there a while and think about what you've done, and we'll talk later."
"Deal! Vengeance shall be evaluated!"
The fat guy looks at you.
"That went reasonably well," he says. "2D strippers give people perspective, I guess. So, then!"
He glows a moment and the angels on his body evaporate. The remaining sphere also evaporates, though oddly enough the person in it is no longer the silly big-headed guy, but instead a guy who looks a bit like an Asian remix of Stoner Jesus.
"Dude, that was, like, kind of balls. I think we need some better stopping spells," he says.
"I tend to agree. Swankifying purses and stuff like that can be fun, but we need some firepower," the fat guy then agrees.
"No shit. That was just one guy, too," says the woman, her conjoined twin having disappeared moments ago, but then reappears again in roughly similar form when she stops to cast a spell. She sighs. "Eh, screw it. It's not bothering me that much."
"I take offense to being called an it," her twin says, gesturing with a stunted arm.
"Er, sorry," the woman says, half-shrugging.
"Neat. I do like the matchsticks, they're very original. So how does one go about choosing his or her particular way of giving magic to others? Do you just choose the object? And is the magazine Lee gave me really necessary, or can I acces the voice in the magazine some other way?" John asks Pilton, sounding excited
"I think you work something out with your voice, sort of do a little meeting of the minds. In your own mind, of course. And then it just works if you agree on something? The whole object thing is mostly for passing it along in a stylish, organic way, and after you have magic, it's not so important. Unless your voice just feels like being an asshole about it, though I don't see why it would, since it doesn't really have any other friends than its user."
"How do I, uh, talk to it?" Tracey wonders. "If I need to, I mean?"
"I dunno," Pilton says. "I never really thought about it, which I guess is the key." He looks thoughtfully into the distance for a moment, then at Tracey. "Did I talk out loud?"
"Yeah? I guess?" Tracey says confusedly.
"Well, there you have it. Guess you have to talk out loud, then," he says.
"Okay," she says, trying to imitate Kermit's thoughtful look. "Fair feline!" she exclaims dramatically. "Speak to me if you're there!"
A moment passes.
"I guess meowing works, yes! May I have a taste of your glorious magic without the need for a match?"
She smiles excitedly, and then her eyes roll into the back of her head and she falls straight backward. Luckily the floor seems pretty soft around here. Her mouth hangs open limply and she twitches noticeably.
"Eugh. Seems like she's not liking that," Pilton says, tapping his chin. "Hm. Do I sound as funny when I address my voice?" he asks of you.
Just out of curiosity, what's the name of the bag's WiFi AP?
Also, use the powers of the bag to insert my golden shoes in it, if possible.
Then use the bag's network to research the hotel and the people in it. Anything will do, from simple reviews to police reports.
The name starts to change as you investigate it. First it's a blank space, then it's six of those missing symbol blocks, then it becomes a string of those weird symbols you get when you try to render Cyrillic letters on a computer that doesn't have them properly installed. Then, for a moment, it's a big number. Finally, it appears to settle on "dont ask questions just use this already".
Also, your bag proves a good home for the golden high heels. Surprisingly easy to carry after that, too, though it's starting to get a little weighty now.
As for the hotel, you find no reviews. However, there is a news story about a police raid happening there from a couple years ago, and the words 'suspected ties to organized crime' appear in said story, as well as an indication that the place has been officially closed since then, which tells you a few things. Little Tay appears to have a blog that hasn't been updated for over six years. That seems kind of fun.
Post by: lawastooshort on December 02, 2014, 08:53:41 am
((Anyway, I’m a bit pressed for time right now so will try to edit in an action later tonight))
((Well that didn’t quite work out as I hoped. Sorry.))
Right. Well. Need to find another Initiate, and also bring back that fecker that stole my soulpotato and make him kneel before God.
Oh, wait.
”O God?”
Halesey waits for Potato God to reply, assuming he’s about.
”So I had another initiate – Derek, he might have been called, but he wandered off filled with the wonder of potatoes, or something. Do You happen to have seen him? I am disappointed in him, and consequently in myself. I shall seek him out, if not. Also, I appear to have become half-man half-potato half-vortex. Amazing. Thank You for Your gift – I’d kneel in gratitude, but I can’t anymore. I don't think.”
Speak thus, and also do a quick count of how many limbs I still have – are my legs and arms functional? Kneel a bit at God if I can.
Spoiler: Benjamin, Living Potato Vortex and Wielder of the Adult Literature of Death (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on December 02, 2014, 09:31:33 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 02, 2014, 09:40:07 am
”O God?”
Halesey waits for Potato God to reply, assuming he’s about.
”So I had another initiate – Derek, he might have been called, but he wandered off filled with the wonder of potatoes, or something. Do You happen to have seen him? I am disappointed in him, and consequently in myself. I shall seek him out, if not. Also, I appear to have become half-man half-potato half-vortex. Amazing. Thank You for Your gift – I’d kneel in gratitude, but I can’t anymore. I don't think.”
"You mean the fellow with the weird monotone and steadfast refusal to be impressed? For I have seen that initiate very clearly indeed. Hours ago, in fact. Seemed like an agreeable chap, ultimately. Could evolve potatoes, too - very fascinating thing, that. Gave him a blessing and sent him on his way. He'll be doing good work in my name, I assume. Seemed on top of things, generally, though didn't like you much for some reason. Bit too shy for prophecy, methinks. Not too patient, either."
"You might want to tone down the vortex a bit, though. It's unsettling for me to look out into the mortal world like that. Is it really as potato-free as it looks from here?"
Larry grunted again. Asshole could have said something. "Yeah, I'm here on Mercury talking to this dude. Says he needs metal. Got any way to get any here? His crib's really dark."
"What's he need metal for? Mercury's full of metal. 'Sides, I don't think I can fit much stuff in my van without totally ruining the atmosphere. I can loan him my crappy lamp, though. Does he have one of those European electrical sockets, maybe?"
Post by: Toaster on December 02, 2014, 09:50:58 am
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on December 02, 2014, 10:21:32 am
"He can't, like, power any thing to get it out or something. Can't get it all started or something."((Maybe he can grab a bit of the sun. that usually works in the legends.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 02, 2014, 10:45:40 am
"He can't, like, power any thing to get it out or something. Can't get it all started or something."
"Oh, so it's the savage land out there still? Figured they'd get their act together by now. Yeesh, if they could gentrify Jupiter, why is Mercury suddenly a problem?"
"There's no damn wind here!" your host snaps. "And we've got no magic, either!"
"Yeah, yeah. With that attitude, how are you gonna handle Pluto later? That place is, like, nitrogen ice. All of it! The sunlight you get on Pluto is four hours old by the time it reaches you! It really makes me giddy to imagine what wonders ambitious people could do with the place. Five words: shining domes, caves of ice!"
"Why don't you people do it, then? Or heck, have those Jupiter kings take charge? They've got a good track record, right?"
"I said 'ambitious people'. We angels are more like... the idea people, you know? The muses. Policy of non-interference and shit like that."
Post by: Toaster on December 02, 2014, 11:27:17 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 02, 2014, 11:48:49 am
Larry sighed. He really didn't give that much of a crap, but he didn't have anything else to do. "Would anyone do it for some of that divine porn? Sounds like you just need a little something to get started. I can't summon up metal or anything, but I could bless that angel of yours again. They seem to like it. Or summon a couple more."
"I doubt kidnapped angel labor is going to make this whole place very marketable," your host says.
"Divine smut really seems like more of a hobbyist's market than something with mass appeal, too. Have you considered hiring some demons?"
"That I have. No way to contact any, though."
"I could bring it up with the big guy downstairs next time I see... it right now, I think? See if it's got any idlers. They love their real estate down there, I hear. Been looking to expand lately. Would make for an awesome contrast if we brought some here..."
He thinks a second.
"... you know, I could do that right now, actually. Haven't been to hell in ages. Any of you two want to come along?"
"I'm a bit integrated with the installation now, dude. It's gonna take a day at least to get all my tendrils out of here."
"Aw. What about you, Larry? Want to take a walk on the underside?"
Post by: Toaster on December 02, 2014, 12:14:01 pm
"Sure, what the hell. As long as I can get back home by 2." He thought a moment. "Might want to watch out for those guys we fucked over with the magazine thing."
((In case it's not clear, it's Larry that was bored, not Toaster. Toaster thinks it's interesting.))
Post by: Xantalos on December 02, 2014, 05:02:33 pm
Anyhow! How do we upgrade the leyline?
Post by: Pancaek on December 02, 2014, 05:15:59 pm
Quote
Hm. Do I sound as funny when I address my voice?
"Nah. You use a lot less purple prosish words. No 'fair feline' kind of things. Can we do something to help her along?"
John sort of looks at the fallen waitress. Doesn't look like she's getting up any time soon. Perhaps it's a good idea to try and contact the voice without the magazine
"Hey, spirit. Voice. Being? I don't even know what to call you. Are you there? We really need to talk over this magazine thing, because it would be super handy if I could just throw that thing away. Also, do you have any preference as to what we should use to give magic to others?"
Ask Pilton if we can help the waitress. Converse with voice in my head, possibly.
Post by: Parisbre56 on December 02, 2014, 09:41:29 pm
Then search news and police reports. First order of business is to check for correlation between the location of known leylines and supernatural activity around them.
Second is to search for events that could be attributed to the following wizards based on their appearance and the magic they are known to possess: Joanie, the Dunker, Hungry Pete. The intent is to use that to track them.
((I realised after writing this that I could very easily ask one of my contacts to provide the info, but I think I'll stick with the non-magical do-it-on-my-own approach, just to see what happens.
@Toaster: Too bad I can't hook you up with my demon guy... Wonder if phones work in hell...))
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 03, 2014, 11:50:26 am
Larry pondered a moment. While something deep inside him told him consorting with demons was probably a bad idea, he was looking for an excuse to leave this guy. Kind of a bore, really.
"Sure, what the hell. As long as I can get back home by 2." He thought a moment. "Might want to watch out for those guys we fucked over with the magazine thing."
((In case it's not clear, it's Larry that was bored, not Toaster. Toaster thinks it's interesting.))
"Not a prob. Be there in a jiffy," says Cal, and you feel like the line goes out now.
Huh, I kinda thought that would kill him. Good thing it didn't, I suppose.
Anyhow! How do we upgrade the leyline?
"There's a method. It involves a whole lotta redecoration and redesigning. Convoluted sort of redecoration and redesigning, mostly."
"Basically we need to make this place into a proper dungeon, if I understand correctly," says the lady, yawning quietly. The fat guy yawns as well, and so does the last guy.
"Prolly not today, though. It's pretty damn late. Need sleep badly."
You yawn as well. It must be the very early morning right now.
"Nah. You use a lot less purple prosish words. No 'fair feline' kind of things. Can we do something to help her along?"
John sort of looks at the fallen waitress. Doesn't look like she's getting up any time soon. Perhaps it's a good idea to try and contact the voice without the magazine
"Hey, spirit. Voice. Being? I don't even know what to call you. Are you there? We really need to talk over this magazine thing, because it would be super handy if I could just throw that thing away. Also, do you have any preference as to what we should use to give magic to others?"
Ask Pilton if we can help the waitress. Converse with voice in my head, possibly.
"I think she'll be okay. Messing with her right now is only liable to make things worse," Pilton says, having a sip of some lukewarm coffee that he seems to have forgotten he had until this moment. Utilizing the lull, you address your voice as well.
~Oh, sure, you can get rid of it. It's really not that much of a restriction anyway, is it? As for giving magic to other people... hm. I dunno. How about an oil lamp that you need to rub for the magic to come to you?~
First of all, look at known leyline locations (the one in the school and the one in the sewer) on the map. Anything interesting about them, something that makes that location special in any way? Historic significance? Arrangement of buildings around them? Anything that could help me track them more easily or gain some insight about them?
Then search news and police reports. First order of business is to check for correlation between the location of known leylines and supernatural activity around them.
Second is to search for events that could be attributed to the following wizards based on their appearance and the magic they are known to possess: Joanie, the Dunker, Hungry Pete. The intent is to use that to track them.
((I realised after writing this that I could very easily ask one of my contacts to provide the info, but I think I'll stick with the non-magical do-it-on-my-own approach, just to see what happens.
@Toaster: Too bad I can't hook you up with my demon guy... Wonder if phones work in hell...))
They seem reasonably evenly distributed in two corners of the city, tending toward the periphery - so there's a bit of geographic correlation there. It's not very exact, as you can clearly see, so it doesn't really let you pinpoint a location, but it does appear to point to there being more leylines in similar areas. Building arrangement is difficult to tell from the map, since it doesn't appear to include the fact that the one at the sewers got its surrounding neighborhood blown up.
As for police reports, those aren't exactly freely available on the internet. Or at least the local police (and probably federal police as well) aren't really into sharing. News, though, seem to mostly center about the destruction of Lower Esplanade and also the huge denture castle, which you actually know to be your friend's doing. Other than that, nothing really. You don't actually know much about Joanie, Hungry Pete or THE DUNKER, at least in terms of what spells they cast. There is a report about some people being found covered in hair, though, for what it's worth, and the victims report seeing somebody matching Joanie's description plus another person you don't recognize. Other than that, people have been staying off the news nicely.
Seems like the internet's less helpful on this than one might initially surmise, especially with the massive amount of what sounds like awful fabrications floating around. In your search, however, you do locate a blog that seems to center around the exploration of the esoteric, written by somebody going by the handle of 'Baww'. The newer posts seem to be discussing the happenings in town, a sharp contrast to the more new age mumbo jumbo tone of the rest of the thing. Oddly, the posts include demonstrations of what you think is legit magic, at least from the way the names of the spells are written out. There's ten posts, each having a very tutorial-like character.
Post by: Toaster on December 03, 2014, 11:59:51 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on December 03, 2014, 12:41:16 pm
Anyway.))
That blog looks interesting. Keep reading, there might be a thing or two I don't know in there.
Maybe there will be a hint about leyline locations or who the mystery person is or from whom they got their magic.
Even if there's nothing new, if those spells are true, I could learn some new effects from them.
And even if that does not work, I could gain some ideas about how to best write my own info and what mistakes to avoid.
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on December 03, 2014, 04:11:01 pm
"You mean the fellow with the weird monotone and steadfast refusal to be impressed? For I have seen that initiate very clearly indeed. Hours ago, in fact. Seemed like an agreeable chap, ultimately. Could evolve potatoes, too - very fascinating thing, that. Gave him a blessing and sent him on his way. He'll be doing good work in my name, I assume. Seemed on top of things, generally, though didn't like you much for some reason. Bit too shy for prophecy, methinks. Not too patient, either."
"You might want to tone down the vortex a bit, though. It's unsettling for me to look out into the mortal world like that. Is it really as potato-free as it looks from here?"
"Er, yes, Derek was quite hard to impress. I think he dislikes me a little because I tried to make him impressed by the glory of Potato. I surmise he has not yet entirely reached emotional maturity. And... yes. Sorry. I presume that is my mortal world You can see - I've never looked through myself to see it, and... well... it is quite Potato-free. Most Potatoes there are confined underground, or in plastic bags. I will try to make the mortal world Potatoeyer. Which reminds me of something - how can I get back there to find a third disciple? Because before, I travelled through vortexes. Now I am one. Can I travel through another one? Forgive my humble questioning."
Ask thus, and attempt to tone down the vortex a bit. Also try to look at my folder, concentrating on the theme of Potato.
Post by: Pancaek on December 05, 2014, 08:54:57 am
"I don't know, oil lamps seem kind of heavy and not very practical. I don't even know where I'd get one, to be honest. How about one of those fancy boxes of liquor chocolates? The ones made out of metal? And you'd need to eat a chocolate to get acces to the magic. Tasty and relatively easily refillable."
Converse with magic voice some more. Also keep an eye on the waitress, just to make sure she's all right
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 12, 2014, 03:47:34 pm
[Dave's affinity roll: 1-->1+1]
There's a bit of an issue here, Dave notices as he begins to conjure a massive amazing underwear cyclone to lighten the place up. It escapes him for but a moment what that might be, but then the burning sensation of power input greatly outpacing the respective output. What follows next is a rather bad feeling as underwear begins to stream from his fingers, godly power animating it into tiny tempests to fill the denture skies. He's about to suggest that maybe God should step off a little on the jim-jam, if he knows what he means, but then he notices his skin has begun to glow. And then it suddenly randomizes all over, which feels really tingly for some reason, each bit of muscle, skin and bone flying every which way, transmuting into underwear more heinously gaudy than Dave previously thought possible mid-flight, changing their trajectory violently in the process, carried by the power of Dave's spell and the engine of raw magic that the God of Dentures seems to be, a runaway process that continues for but a few moments before Dave, or at least his previous form, is gone entirely, as is the underwear, having screamed off in the distance without a care in the world, seemingly having no concern for behaving atmospherically as Dave wants them to.
Where Dave was, only one thing remains - well, two things. A pair of floating eyes, for one, or at least that's what Dave can currently see. Then there's Charles, floating around confusedly, looking at the space where his host seemed to be moments ago, seemingly displeased at seemingly being two-legged due to the loss of the hip that made the impairment rather moot.
"Huh. Weird. Sorry, dude. Didn't mean to do that."
If Dave could speak, then perhaps he'd have a few choice words for God.
* * * * *
Larry, waiting for Cal seemingly being his only option, tries to make a little smalltalk to pass the time.
"For angels, they sure do get along well with demons. You seen any here?"
"Nah. They're segregated pretty fully, which I think is a real shame. I hear they're good people, funny as that sounds," his host says. "Or at least not a bunch of raging assholes, mostly. Maybe a bit weird and dogmatic at times, though. Hence why the angels like to mess with them a lot."
Before he can tell Larry more, however, there is the sound of a vehicle slowly coming to a halt with gravel grinding underneath its tires, which Larry finds more odd when he looks to see that it seems to be Cal's van, currently standing on nothing at all off the edge of a walkway outside.
"What's up, guys? Come on, Larry, time's a wastin'!" the angel says, sounding pretty excited for some reason. "We want to get there before the place freezes over, optimally."
* * * * *
Eta is interested in the secret wisdom of this man or possibly woman (though she wouldn't bet on it) of the Internet. Being a polite reader of blogs, she starts out from the very first post on the subject, titled...
).She finds it a little odd that the next installment is posted mere minutes later. As are the rest - all of these seem to have been posted roughly simultaneously, probably been written in advance. Almost all of them were posted yesterday morning.
Spoiler: Magic and You: Spells for the Beginner! (click to show/hide)
Eta's about to start reading the next one, but she hears a voice from unsettlingly close by.
"Hey, baby! How's the morning treatin' you?"
Ah yes. That explains the lack of noise and sudden smell of smoke in the room. Hope he doesn't set off the fire alarm.
* * * * *
Halesey, though his mind is cleared of any proper doubt and has been for a while, is still somewhat perplexed, as his rather vortex-like tummy presents quite a problem - namely, what it will feel like if he tries to travel through this same vortex. And though it does feel completely unnatural to do so, he heeds God's request to tone down the whole vortex thing a little, since it's pretty clear he's impressing no one with it thus far. He shrinks it to the point where his head is fully reformed, as are his limbs - his torso, though, is still one gert big vortex, he's pleased to note.
"Er, yes, Derek was quite hard to impress. I think he dislikes me a little because I tried to make him impressed by the glory of Potato. I surmise he has not yet entirely reached emotional maturity. And... yes. Sorry. I presume that is my mortal world You can see - I've never looked through myself to see it, and... well... it is quite Potato-free. Most Potatoes there are confined underground, or in plastic bags. I will try to make the mortal world Potatoeyer. Which reminds me of something - how can I get back there to find a third disciple? Because before, I travelled through vortexes. Now I am one. Can I travel through another one? Forgive my humble questioning."
"A very good question, my prophet. You can, naturally, but it would be more convenient to just use the vortex on your own person - simply dive through it with all of your limbs, that is. It may be a tad difficult if you are not experienced, but I understand that it is like turning a shirt inside-out - strange, and yet completely intuitive. Try it, should you dare."
* * * * *
The voice has not convinced John of the stylistic merits of the oil lamp, and a counterplan of using a fancy box of chocolates to provide magic occurs to him, and his voice can, at best, offer a shrug of acceptance.
~Yeah, that works, if you're into that limited-use thing. It's a bit overwrought, in my opinion, but hey, I admit there's a lot of style points to be had for offering shady candy to innocent neophytes on the street.~
Meanwhile, Tracey the waitress seems to be regaining consciousness, rather rapidly so. She gets up immediately, looking spooked.
"Did I really just pass out and fall on the ground?" she says, looking over at Mr. Pilton.
"It looked kind of like a seizure, actually," Mr. Pilton offers.
"Kitty! That's no way to treat your friends!" she shouts, looking up at the ceiling.
"In his defense, maybe it's better to research magic sitting down," he says.
"I could have gotten a concussion, and then where would I be? Hospitalized and magical, that's where. And that's no way for a person to be, not around these hospitals," she replies, a touch angry. "I'm pretty sure Kitty's a she, too. I think she's a she."
"Anyway, you have any pressing questions, maybe?" Mr. Pilton asks, seemingly starting to get bored of both this situation and Tracey.
"Uh, none I couldn't ask her, I guess. Though she seems to only be able to reply to me in cat sounds. Is that normal?"
Post by: Xantalos on December 12, 2014, 03:54:15 pm
Sleep, with my battalions guarding me!
Post by: Toaster on December 12, 2014, 04:48:55 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 12, 2014, 05:23:05 pm
Larry blinked for a second, then got it. "Hah, hah, aren't you funny," he said as he got into the van. "You sound happy to go to Hell."
"It's a big change of scenery, Hell," he says as he starts driving off, pausing to shut the door you left partly open. "And there's people there I haven't seen in ages! It's gonna be a blast, I tell you."
Post by: lawastooshort on December 12, 2014, 05:41:11 pm
Try to return to... Earth, by leaping into myself with my limbs. If it doesn't quite work out, try again! Twice.
Post by: Toaster on December 12, 2014, 07:29:56 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on December 13, 2014, 02:58:49 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 13, 2014, 03:07:27 pm
"You seem to get along well with demons for an angel."
"Oh, that's just me keeping a positive mindset. Actually, starting trade relations with demonkind is kind of a crazy idea to even try. But I'm figuring that if it works, you and I are gonna get some mad props from our peers. And if it doesn't, hey, the main perk of being an angel is that you can escape anything!"
Yo voice! Got any suggestions or should I just do the thing I did with the clown?
~Uh, sure! Do that thing you did with the clown! What did you do with the clown?~
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on December 13, 2014, 03:30:45 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 13, 2014, 03:58:57 pm
I told it to f**k off with my mind. And it did. And you congratulated me and our bro-bond allowed me to gain spells.
~Oh, that. Sure, go right ahead.~
Post by: Parisbre56 on December 13, 2014, 04:00:18 pm
"Hey, baby! How's the morning treatin' you?"Ah, him. One of the few people who seem nice and reasonable around here.
Ah yes. That explains the lack of noise and sudden smell of smoke in the room. Hope he doesn't set off the fire alarm.
Eta smiled a bit, thinking of how bizarre putting the words "nice" and "demon" together is.
"Considering I haven't yet felt the need to curl up in a fetal position and I just discovered I have free magical Wi-Fi, I'd say pretty nice." Eta said as she closed her phone's screen.
She turned around to face Clive, still smiling.
"Shouldn't you give me a call or at least knock first before appearing out of thick smoky air? What if I was naked?" she joked.
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 13, 2014, 04:10:11 pm
"Considering I haven't yet felt the need to curl up in a fetal position and I just discovered I have free magical Wi-Fi, I'd say pretty nice." Eta said as she closed her phone's screen.
She turned around to face Clive, still smiling.
"Shouldn't you give me a call or at least knock first before appearing out of thick smoky air? What if I was naked?" she joked.
"Ah, see, that's what the eye on your hand is for. Checking if you're naked or busy before I interrupt you. Granted, I might interrupt you sometimes even if you're naked, but you can assume it'll be a pretty fucking serious situation if I do, and usually it'll mean you'll have to come along regardless of how much clothes you have on," he explains, trying his best to radiate leathery cheekiness. "Anyway, I need you to do something for me now, as per the rules. We're gonna take a little trip to hell."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on December 13, 2014, 04:48:44 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on December 13, 2014, 04:53:35 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 13, 2014, 05:52:41 pm
"Oh, okay. I guess that will be interesting. Should I wear summer clothes? You know, hell, fires, magma. Or does it resemble Dante's Inferno?"
"There's air conditioning, mostly. And thank fucking Christ for that, too. Used to be such a hothouse down there, you don't even know. Could smell every demon in a mile radius, all of that musk and B.O. hitting your nose at the same time. And you never got used to it. Never! Anyway, take my hand, and off we'll go!" he says, presenting a shriveled mitt for you to grab onto.
Post by: Parisbre56 on December 13, 2014, 06:04:02 pm
Put stuff back in bag. Make sure I'm dressed properly.
"OK then. Ready. Anything I should know before we go? About Hell or the thing you want me to do?"
Heh. My father would have a heart attack if he heard about this.
Go to Hell.
Post by: Toaster on December 13, 2014, 09:23:13 pm
Post by: Pancaek on December 15, 2014, 08:15:41 am
"I don't think cat sounds is normal, though I don't have any point of reference really. What do you say, mister Pilton?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 15, 2014, 08:19:35 am
"Yeah, I think I'll go for giving strangers shady candy. Besides, chocolates aren't hard to get a hold of and they're fairly cheap, so that's a plus as well."
"I don't think cat sounds is normal, though I don't have any point of reference really. What do you say, mister Pilton?"
"Normal's a very relative term, I think. Might not be really applicable here."
Tracey shrugs.
"Not sure if I can do anything about it even if it isn't normal. Hey, Kitty, stop talking to me in cat sounds!"
A moment passes.
"She won't or can't, I think. Hard to make out through the meowing."
Post by: Pancaek on December 16, 2014, 11:12:26 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 16, 2014, 11:51:15 am
"Maybe it's just temporary, I'm sure you'll find a way to communicate eventually. Now then, mister Pilton, I believe we met up here with the idea to have us some adventure?"
"That we did. I just have difficulty initiating things, to be honest. All sorts of questions like 'where would I begin?' and 'what should I do?' begin to bother me at inopportune moments."
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 22, 2014, 10:09:49 am
So exhausted, in fact, that by the time he awakens from a largely dreamless sleep, it seems to be late in the afternoon. The queens are nowhere to be seen, and neither are his associates. The pit has disappeared, and the place looks rather clean.. Hm. Where could they have all gone? And why did they think it safe to leave him here alone with a leyline? And where did the queens go?
Truly this is an inauspicious start to the day.
* * * * *
Halesey is never one to refuse a challenge of faith, so he immediately does as God has instructed - well, not quite immediately, as he does take a deep breath to prepare, but nevertheless in short order.
[Halesey's body roll: 3]
He pokes all his limbs into the vortex quite easily despite how counterintuitive doing so may seem, but he does run into a terrible problem - the head! The head's not fitting in! Quite woeful, that, as his limbs feel pretty nice inside the vortex, what with the slightly lower temperature and lesser amount of abrasive potatoes out in the normal world. Some contortionist skills may be required, he realizes.
* * * * *
There's only a couple things a proper law-abiding Dave can do as a pair of eyes plus a floating pig, and clearly the most effective course of action would be to aggressively disbelieve and will away the terrible things that seem to be happening to him!
But sadly, no matter how much he wills, he is exploded! He cannot reconstitute that which has been exploded, can he, even if it does not make sense that he is still alive in any shape or form. Hm. The obvious answer would be to analyze the matter deeper, though he can't help but have slight reservations since the fact remains that he probably shouldn't be alive, and that examination of this would probably only prove him correct in a way that the universe may notice as well.
"Hey, Dave, you still alive?" asks the Denture God. "You don't look too alive. I'm taking back the divine jim-jam in any case, okay?"
Dave suddenly feels terribly deprived. His sense of identity is beginning to fade. Was that what was keeping him alive? Oh dear.
"A shame. You were a cool guy, Dave."
* * * * *
Eta is about to go to hell, and this is far less distressing to her than it probably should be.
"Oh, that's good. Nice to see work conditions improving," she idly makes conversation as she gets her stuff back into her bag and checks over her clothes, which seem roughly hell-appropriate, even with the slightly singed bits. "OK then. Ready. Anything I should know before we go? About Hell or the thing you want me to do?"
"Just that there's nothing to worry about as long as you don't get in with one of the bad crowds. Problem is, a bad crowd's our objective today, and you're gonna need to get in with it. But that's adventure for you, as it were. On we go!"
Eta grabs Clive's hand, and with an unceremonious popping sound accompanied by the puff of smoke experiences a change of setting - the slightly disorderly hotel room is wiped away without delay, and the visage of a staircase leading up to a brick wall painted with a very delicate mural of a spindly fellow in a suit stepping aside and revealing a brightly luminous eye set in a black triangle in the wall beside him. Something is written in a perfect circle around the mural that Eta can't quite manage to understand before Clive pulls her out of her spot, where a tranquil man covered in icicles materializes, completely still and almost lifeless up until the point where he, too, moves on with just as little ceremony as Eta has.
"We'll have plenty of time to linger on the train, now hurry," he mutters as Eta looks ahead, as she currently seems to be guided down the staircase.
Before her is a rather sizable square, all concrete with whimsical paintings breaking up the monotony, largely variations on the triangle-eye thing and various associated people, plus elaborate shadows that take her a moment to realize are actually not cast by anything in here. The square appears to be full of shadows as well - however, these appear to be entirely solid, with glowing eyes of blue and purple by and large, with some yellows and greens in places, and move exactly like what Eta would expect from a bunch of evil shadows, a looming, slithering mass of creatures making tracks all around the lower area. Seven staircases lead down to it, some filled with upward, some with downward, some with mixed traffic, and on the far side of the square few things can be seen at all, as the yellow light that bathes the overcrowded square is rather scarce there.
Clive, without another word, guides Eta down to the square and into the mass, where nobody seems to spare her a glance - clearly they've seen worse and possibly even more interesting than her today. He moves swiftly, and Eta tries to follow as best she can, as they make their way to the far side, where she sees the train - it's a great machine, about the height of a two story house, seemingly made entirely of mingling steel and plastic, painted surprisingly garishly for a hell vehicle. But Eta supposes this isn't exactly the typical sort of hell, either. The train is in constant, not overly quick motion, and doesn't appear to have a beginning or an end as far as she can see, with shadows are constantly disembarking from it, with the occasional much more defined person and even a few shadows getting on. It is surprisingly easy to get on it and not fall on the tracks, Eta notes, although it's a bit slower than she'd really like her public transport to be. She and Clive stick together as the train is boarded, and this seems to be only mildly less overcrowded than the outside, despite having a cross section about seven times that of any train Eta's ever been on. And even in here the passengers seem to be in constant flux, moving in the direction the train's moving, and off in the distance she thinks she can spot kiosks of various kinds with their own little lines of clientele.
"Right," her demonic companion says, not pausing in his stride a moment. "Pretty light traffic at this hour, so we're lucky. Now, we should keep walking. It's not far, granted, but the sooner we're there, the better. Want some refreshments on the way, maybe?"
* * * * *
Larry agrees that pleasing one's superiors is an adequate way to spend time - all the time spent kissing ass only makes the fierce kicking of the same that follows only that much sweeter, and then the cycle resumes for some other person.
The drive's short enough to make Larry suspect that the van mostly serves a cosmetic role, and the end result appears to be... darkness. Not hellish darkness, of course - more of a basic, boring darkness, at a comfortable temperature and humidity, no less. Cal looks around for a moment, then opens the door, surprised to see it bumping up against something and refusing to budge. Everything's kind of quiet in here, and he squeezes out of the opening, closing the door behind him as he starts searching about.
"No good parking spots in hell, I've noticed. Maybe shouldn't have bothered with the van," he says, fumbling around in the dark right up until the moment he manages to locate a light switch, illuminating the surroundings.
They appear to have landed in a rather crappy office, or rather what used to be a rather crappy office. Now most of its contents have been soundly broken and destroyed (aside from a potted red plant in the far corner), and its walls scratched where Cal just opened the door. There appears to be even less room on Larry's side, to the point where he doesn't think he can even open his door more than a crack. Whoever worked here probably isn't going to be very pleased to find out about this latest development, that's for sure.
"And the dang door's locked, too," observes Cal as he messes around with the plain white door of the office. "Probably would have been better to do this without the van in retrospect, yeah."
Post by: Xantalos on December 22, 2014, 10:20:16 am
Most displeasing. Say pink voice, do you happen to know where everyone went?
Post by: Toaster on December 22, 2014, 10:22:41 am
"Hell is a desk job?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 22, 2014, 10:30:23 am
The DUNKER clucks his tongue disapprovingly.
Most displeasing. Say pink voice, do you happen to know where everyone went?
~Nope. Probably in search of comfier spots to sleep?~
Larry is a bit nonplussed; while he certainly wouldn't want an office job himself, it didn't exactly scream "hell" to him. Shouldn't there be more gnashing of teeth and wailing?
"Hell is a desk job?"
"I dunno. Wasn't when I last checked. Maybe a demon works here or something. There's gotta be a lot of paperwork to run the place."
Post by: Xantalos on December 22, 2014, 10:34:09 am
Anything unusual about the leyline? Maybe they went and did that refurbishing thing if DUNKER's lucky and he can get more power. If not, summon a battalion or two of pork queens and have them guard me as I look about the general area for my erstwhile partners.
Post by: Toaster on December 22, 2014, 10:49:42 am
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on December 22, 2014, 10:51:34 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 22, 2014, 11:48:11 am
"Huh. Can't we just kick the door down?"
"That'd be kind of rude and obvious, methinks. Hm. But the door looks pretty shitty, so I guess it could work. Well, no harm in trying!"
Cal gives the office door a swift boot, and from his foot comes an unpleasant crack as the door proves much less shitty than expected. He falls back, gripping his foot and groaning.
*psychic god link Go!* HOLD ON MAN! I NEED THAT JIMMY JAM TO STAY ALIVE UNTIL I CAN FIX THIS!
The Denture God doesn't appear to acknowledge your attempts at addressing it! You're beginning to fade out.
"What to do now, though?" the Denture God wonders aloud, lonely in its own domain.
Post by: Toaster on December 22, 2014, 11:54:53 am
Bless Angel on Cal! If he still can't kick it down, hit it with a Blue Smut Angel Boomerang!
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on December 22, 2014, 12:07:23 pm
Post by: Xantalos on December 22, 2014, 12:08:35 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on December 22, 2014, 12:19:15 pm
((You should try becoming a god of yourself, if you can figure out how to do that. That or contact heaven or hell or something.))((Me?))
Post by: Xantalos on December 22, 2014, 12:20:01 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on December 22, 2014, 12:47:58 pm
Post by: Xantalos on December 22, 2014, 12:48:51 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on December 23, 2014, 12:59:00 pm
I wonder if I could start some sort of tourism business. I could definitely write an article about this. I should take some notes. Ask Clive about how I can get down here on my own if I ever want to and he's busy. Maybe he could give me some demon summoning instructions.
The train is certainly a nice touch. It reminds me of those moving side-walks they had in the 1900s. Is it like a real train? Does it have an engine or is it magical? Or maybe the cars themselves have engines that drive it forward? Not that important right now.
"Uhh... Sure. I don't think I've eaten or drank something all day. What kind of refreshments do you have down here?"
Eta took a second to think as she looked upwards, her mild claustrophobia suddenly kicking in.
"Are we actually 'down here'? I mean, are we below the surface of the Earth or is this another place entirely?"
Post by: lawastooshort on December 23, 2014, 01:30:58 pm
Try to fit my head in my vortex.
Post by: Pancaek on December 23, 2014, 02:09:42 pm
Quote
"That we did. I just have difficulty initiating things, to be honest. All sorts of questions like 'where would I begin?' and 'what should I do?' begin to bother me at inopportune moments."
"I understand. It's not like in one of those silly fantasy novels where you can just pick any directions and you'll always end up in some forgotten crypt or dragon's lair. Do you not happen to know of an unclaimed leyline or something around here?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 24, 2014, 04:48:15 am
Nice place. A little crowded, but nice. I mean, compared to what you'd expect of hell. This is probably better than some places on Earth.
I wonder if I could start some sort of tourism business. I could definitely write an article about this. I should take some notes. Ask Clive about how I can get down here on my own if I ever want to and he's busy. Maybe he could give me some demon summoning instructions.
The train is certainly a nice touch. It reminds me of those moving side-walks they had in the 1900s. Is it like a real train? Does it have an engine or is it magical? Or maybe the cars themselves have engines that drive it forward? Not that important right now.
"Uhh... Sure. I don't think I've eaten or drank something all day. What kind of refreshments do you have down here?"
Eta took a second to think as she looked upwards, her mild claustrophobia suddenly kicking in.
"Are we actually 'down here'? I mean, are we below the surface of the Earth or is this another place entirely?"
Above you there is a ceiling, painted with images of shadows leading productive daily lives - it's something of a mix between socialist realism and surreal imagery, with some of the tasks being frankly unidentifiable, though possibly something to do with either manufacturing goods or farming. One image in particular jumps out at you, in the foreground of which is a shadow with green eyes sitting at a console with a myriad of buttons, seemingly working on it. In the background a series of strange robotic limbs appear to be enacting an assembly line process in an oddly semicircular fashion, forming almost a halo of assembly around the shadow, which occupies the center. The product being put together is some sort of engine, or so you would guess from all the tubes and cylinders.
"Oh yeah, we're definitely 'down here'. As for refreshments, it's mostly yeast treats and flavored water in these parts. Shame I can't take you to better places, but I haven't been invited down there in a while. Prolly an oversight, but who knows?"
As you speak, you near the kiosk, which is appropriately titled "CHEAP Yeast Treats!" From its confines a shadow with violet eyes appears to be shouting at passersby in a very insistent voice, asking them to buy from it, citing a need to feed its "five dependents".
"I understand. It's not like in one of those silly fantasy novels where you can just pick any directions and you'll always end up in some forgotten crypt or dragon's lair. Do you not happen to know of an unclaimed leyline or something around here?"
"Nah. One leyline per illuminatus as far as I'm aware, so pretty much all of them should be claimed. Reasonably safe adventure seems to be at an all time minimum with the increasing amount of no-man's-land in the city."
"What is a leyline, anyway?" Tracey asks. "Hey, Kitty, what's a leyline?" she asks of the ceiling, then looks at the two of you again. "Kitty says it's meow. Can you elaborate?"
"Access a leyline and a bit of you gets burned off and replaced with raw magic, as far as I understand."
"I see. And what good is that, anyway?"
"Makes your magic work better, plus there's a whole lot of side benefits. Can help you trim your figure a little, make you brain more effectively, that sort of thing."
"Aha! That sounds right up my alley. Where do I go?"
"Oh, I've got one of my own. But I'm not sure I should just let people have at it. I already kind of made that mistake once, and now I'm so woefully behind on my Illuminatus power level, to use a nonsensical jargon phrase."
"Can't we work something out?"
"We can! It's just a matter of proving yourself in combat against my secretary. I'll give him a ring if you think you're up for it. Should be fun to watch. What about you, John? You wanna give it a shot as well? Might not be adventure as such, but hey, could be pretty fun."
Post by: Parisbre56 on December 24, 2014, 05:12:01 am
Eta reached for her bag but reconsidered.
"Do I need to- I mean, what kind of currency do you use for these sort of things?" she said, making a motion towards the stand.
I really hope it's not souls or similar. I only have one. At least, I think I only have one. Maybe magic changed that.
How many souls would a yeast treat cost?
Post by: Harry Baldman on December 24, 2014, 05:22:16 am
"Oh, don't worry. Sounds like something I'd enjoy. Besides, I should probably not be full so that I'll be more concentrated for our 'adventure'. From what I understand, there will be some danger involved, right?"
Eta reached for her bag but reconsidered.
"Do I need to- I mean, what kind of currency do you use for these sort of things?" she said, making a motion towards the stand.
I really hope it's not souls or similar. I only have one. At least, I think I only have one. Maybe magic changed that.
How many souls would a yeast treat cost?
"Oh, there's a bunch of things you could use. Barter's slowest, soul coins are quickest, I.O.U.s with signatures are cheapest from an immediate perspective and pretty quick, but can be a bit of trouble should they be cashed at a bad time. I.O.U.s are the norm around here, with the occasional savvy barter person hanging out."
Post by: Parisbre56 on December 24, 2014, 08:14:26 am
"Hmmm.... Do you think he'd accept gold? Or she. Or it. Sorry, I can't tell. What's the correct word? Do they have any special names?"
Be clueless tourist boob.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on December 29, 2014, 09:43:35 am
Get Charles to Sequel loudly.Also cast magic in the most distracting way possible.
Post by: Pancaek on December 29, 2014, 02:02:31 pm
accept challenge to battle secretary, as for rules
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 01, 2015, 11:17:01 am
No matter! He shall stride out in search of their sorry hides regardless. But first he'll likely need a full battalion of pork queens, he realizes. Perhaps two - then his searching will be all that much more efficient, because it is only when his number of directly controlled minions exceeds a thousand that one can truly say they are a proper lord (or, you know, a colonel, if the whole military thing is strictly kept to).
[Affinity roll: 2+1]
With this in mind, he calls into being a single pork queen. While loyal and doubtlessly foreign, not to mention relatively young for queenship, she is probably not enough to avert vicious flank attacks on her master's person all on her own. So THE DUNKER tries once more.
[Affinity roll: 1-->6+1]
And... nothing. Dang. Well, one queen will have to be enough, he supposes. Just as well - there's really little room in these offices to maneuver in formation, and THE DUNKER does feel like having a little bit of oxygen to himself is not a disagreeable proposition, all things considered. He wanders out immediately, only to find his erstwhile partners, as he likes to call them, hanging out in the next room, which seems to be a conference room that's missing one wall, leaving it open to the hallway. There's the fat guy, the lady who got the conjoined twin (though it's gone now, sadly), the Jesus-looking fellow, that beautiful lady who got stabbed through the head last night (or is that earlier today), and also Hungry Pete, all of them eating cereal. In the corner THE DUNKER can spot a reasonably large stack of empty milk cartons and a hot plate on an end table. Hungry Pete's sitting a bit further from the others, looking somewhat distrustful, but otherwise perfectly fine. The others are chatting about something THE DUNKER can't quite make out from the distance he's at.
* * * * *
Larry is not impressed with Cal's profound lack of doorfighting skill.
"You call that a kick? Take one of these and try it again."
[Larry's affinity roll: 3+1+1]
With a nonchalant flick of Larry's wrist, a holy light envelops Cal, causing him to stop worrying about his foot for a moment as he twists violently to look at Larry.
"Holy-shit-dude-that-feels-great!" he says, and then twists back toward the door like some kind of derangedly excited puppet. He raises his poor abused foot to it slowly, inhales sharply as he draws it back a single inch, no more, then emits a loud "Haaah!" as he slams his foot forward at a speed so incredible, Larry hardly registers its movement. The door, though, registers it most adequately, flying off the hinges and slamming into a wall about two meters away.
"Aha, a hallway!" says Cal with undue excitement, then promptly stops as a head pokes into the archway that the door once occupied. It's a very shadowy head, with a pair of emerald green eyes, without any significant visible facial features other than the head looking a bit like a black teardrop or a flame.
"Oh snap," the shadow says in a vaguely amused tone. "You messed up Finch's office."
Immediately another head, similarly green-eyed, appears on the opposite side.
"Oh dear. Oh my. So they did," says the newly arrived head. "Why would you do this to me, unkind strangers? I rent this space, I work my hours dutifully, and yet you do this to me," it sighs, then looks in the corner, where the red-leafed plant still stands in unruffled defiance of the sound ruination of the rest of the area. "Ah! Betty lives!"
The shadow runs in past the two, its steps completely inaudible aside from a faint sound as the air around it shifts very mildly. It kneels down by the plant and seems to give it a hug, muttering something to itself (or maybe to its beloved Betty?).
* * * * *
Dave is running out of options! He's also running out of life, but that's a secondary concern. His immediate idea is to get Charles to sequel for him as loudly as possible! And then, as if by a miracle, he notes that Charles appears to understand completely, and solemnly swears to carry Dave's legacy as only a proper sequel could, both raising the stakes while keeping to the roots established by his predecessor. He emits a loud squeal to affirm his dedication to this purpose, and while Dave appreciates the gesture as a whole, it fails to really improve his situation in any immediate way, though he feels morally reassured in that he won't be forgotten entirely.
In any case, time to do the most sensible thing he can, really, and flex his magical muscles in the hope that the God of Dentures is going to notice and reward him with continued existence! Now, what would the most distracting thing he can think of be?
Not that he really needed to think about that, naturally, considering he's got a thing that literally has "distracting" in the title while being also his signature spell, as sad as that may sound. So, here he goes! Last ditch attempt to survive, go!
[Dave's affinity roll: 6-->1]
Instantly the air all around the place where his presence lingers becomes saturated with wildly thrashing, risque undergarments, exploding outward with the force of at least two underwear bombs! Audible, powerful, full of underwear and impossible to not notice, it is just the thing he needs!
Or it would be, anyway, had it not had the sudden inexplicable side effect of blowing his presence up as well, which is quite a troubling thing, as suddenly being spread across about one hundred cubic meters of denture-filled space along with immensely distracting underwear is not exactly something one would describe as particularly easy to survive. However, against any form of reasonable odds, Dave does barely manage to hang on, a whisper in the void where he once was a coherent voice, now only able to hope for the best as the Denture God looks back at the chaotic underwear explosion behind him.
"What's that, then? Are you still there, Dave?"
Dave tries to summon the willpower to try and signal to the god that his most loyal and awesome follower would really like to be infused with divine jim jam to not die right now. He manages the tiniest of psychic whispers.
"Why, it does sound like you are still alive, dude. That's a little strange. I would have thought exploding into underwear twice would have done you in but good. Are you, like, a ghost?"
* * * * *
Halesey, unmindful of anatomical impossibility, soldiers on with his contortionist act.
"Hmm. Is that any better, O Potato God?" he wonders as he tries to wedge his head in the vortex, having no fear of meeting the same fate as that cassowary fellow back on the Moon.
"You are certainly getting it, my prophet. Now you must take the final steps to finish the act. It may hurt a little."
[Halesey's body roll: 2]
Halesey tries to poke his head into the vortex, but sadly there doesn't appear to be any room! And also his spine is getting a little confused at what he's doing right now, given that it should be physically impossible as far as he knows. For a moment, a thought sneaks into his head that perhaps there may be a more sensible method to crossing dimensions than what he's doing right now. But what could that be, and is it really worth giving up on a divinely prescribed method simply because it clearly endangers one's bodily integrity?
* * * * *
Eta is naturally drawn to the idea of barter with locals, as what traveling experience can be complete without it?
"Hmmm... do you think he'd accept gold? Or she. Or it. Sorry, I can't tell. What's the correct word? Do they have any special names?"
"Oh, sex isn't a thing down here. Gender's purely cosmetic, too, mostly applicable to ones who go topside. And that one's a purple one, so you can call it whatever the fuck you like, it is legally obligated to not mind one bit. 'Purple thing' or 'you' is customary, 'friend' if you want something from it. Same for most others, though be careful around reds, oranges and yellows. Best not to address reds unless they address you first. And yeah, the purple thing may take gold with some negotiation, though don't mess around with it too long. Speaking of," Caradog points at the kiosk, which the two of them are currently about to pass by, where the purple thing is still yelling for people to come take a look at its yeast treats and flavored water, for crying out loud, it's dying out here!
* * * * *
John hasn't had his last round of gladiatorial combat for who knows how long, so a good round of practice can't hurt, right?
"Well, so long as it isn't to the death I'm willing to give it a shot. Are there any special rules?" he asks.
"Of course it's not to the death, sheesh. I don't want my secretary to get killed, man. First to cry 'uncle' loses. Start out at twenty paces outside, you and your opponent have a minute to prepare beforehand if you want, and that's it. Well, aside from trying not to blow up the neighborhood and me if you can help it."
"So, like a classic wizard duel? Count me in as well!" Tracey chimes in. "Kitty rumbled at me or something, so I guess she thinks it's a good idea as well."
"Okay then! I'll send a message to Stan, and then we'll get cracking. Place is a ways from here, but I'll take you there no problem," he says, then quickly types something out on his phone, then puts it away. "Onward!"
It doesn't take long at all to get there in Mr. Pilton's car, which seems rather cheap for someone who is presumably a reasonably important marketing executive, though nevertheless quite nice. Within fifteen minutes, they have reached a suburban neighborhood on the outskirts of town, where a somewhat abandoned-looking house stands. Out in front of it is a little guy, balding, with a wispy mustache, looking dully at the new arrivals. He waves at Mr. Pilton as he exits the car, then at John and Tracey getting out immediately after him.
"Right then," Pilton says as everyone's gathered. "I'd like you two to meet my secretary, Stan. He's an okay guy, and will be your dueling partner for the day."
"Hello," Stan says, nodding a little.
"Hi, Stan," Tracey waves, smiling brightly.
"Yes, yes, pleasantries and all that. Now, who wants to go first?" Pilton asks. "Stan's going to be a very busy man, after all, what with the unprecedented amount of work I intend to avoid today."
"I am glad to be of use," Stan smiles gently.
Post by: Toaster on January 01, 2015, 11:23:47 am
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on January 01, 2015, 11:32:06 am
Post by: Pancaek on January 01, 2015, 12:41:19 pm
John is sure that he'll need to be careful with this one.
"Are there any rules as to what we can use for the duel? Is it magic only, or can we use more mundane tactics as well? Like, say, a punch to the gut?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 01, 2015, 12:49:37 pm
Yo voice in my head! you wouldn't happen to have any jimmy jam to boost my signal do you?
~Huh? Dave? You're not dead yet? That's odd.~
The voice in your head sounds distant, muted. Maybe because you don't have a head anymore?
John eyes Stan wearily. He doesn't look like much. Doesn't even look particularely strong.
John is sure that he'll need to be careful with this one.
"Are there any rules as to what we can use for the duel? Is it magic only, or can we use more mundane tactics as well? Like, say, a punch to the gut?"
"Go for it. But no eye gouging, fish hooking, groin kicking or what have you. Try to keep each other as uninjured as possible, generally."
"I appreciate the concern, sir."
"Aw. Guess I'll have to invent a plan B, then!"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on January 01, 2015, 12:57:36 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 01, 2015, 01:04:49 pm
So about that jimmy jam?
~I think you're trying to tell me something here, Dave, but for the life of me I can't understand what. Speak clearly!~
Uh oh. You're starting to fade quickly.
Post by: Pancaek on January 01, 2015, 01:07:29 pm
John gets out his snub nosed revolver and turns the safety on before putting it back.
"Would you like to go first, Tracey?"
Offer Tracey to go first, otherwise fight Stan
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on January 01, 2015, 01:19:12 pm
GIVE ME ENERGY. I NEED IT TO LIVE!
Post by: Xantalos on January 01, 2015, 03:00:46 pm
You really should have left a note or something in the other room, you know. I thought you were all dead or had abandoned me.
So, what're we discussing?
Post by: Parisbre56 on January 01, 2015, 04:26:52 pm
Note to self: ask if the souls for soul coins are stored in some sort of central bank or if the soul coins are actual souls. Or maybe they're fiat money and they just call them soul coins for historical reasons. Then again, this is supposed to be hell, so that's not very likely.
Approach the purple-eyes-shadow-vendor. Show him a golden shoe.
"Hello friend. What do you say I give you some gold for your goods? It is of excellent quality and in a very interesting shape."
They always say you have to start with a low price when bargaining. I think one show counts as low.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 01, 2015, 06:05:15 pm
The DUNKER trundles (what a wonderful word) toward the group.
You really should have left a note or something in the other room, you know. I thought you were all dead or had abandoned me.
So, what're we discussing?
"Well, sorry if you can't wake up in a timely manner. We got a timetable, don't you know," the fat guy says.
"A loose timetable, mind you, but a timetable," the less pretty lady adds.
"And today's plan involves us either making a whole lotta money or figuring out a rapid redecoration method that lets us danger this place up a little. I mean, the fleshiness of the place is all fine and good, but we need a bit more than that if we're gonna improve the leyline value."
"Isn't that what we were doing, like, yesterday?" Jesus wonders.
"Indeed they did, Paul," the prettier lady says, and you can't help but notice how similar she looks to the less pretty lady. "But progress has been minimal, and much work still needs to be done."
"Right you are, lawyer-babe! Now, dude," the fat guy says, looking at you. "We were talking about maybe installing some guardian beasts on the premises, as my own sources tell me that's a viable leyline upgrade method until we manage to do proper reorganization of the layout. Something to tear trespassers to shreds and whatnot. Something permanent and sleepless, preferably. Got any valuable input or relevant spells, maybe? Hungry Pete's got poets and I've got normal strippers plus zombie strippers, but we've established that most aren't permanent and that zombie strippers don't seem to be much of an obstacle. Jo's got lawyer-babe over there, and Paul can turn into a psychic German dude, and we guess Gerhard may be sort of a guardian, but we don't know where he is, what he's doing and whether he won't just chop my head off suddenly for implying that he might be a beast."
The fat guy pauses.
"I don't think Gerhard's here, anyway. I could be wrong. Paul, mind checking?"
Paul, the Jesus-looking guy, suddenly stops looking like Jesus, his features becoming slightly more Caucasian and his hair visibly shortening. His clothes also become a little less ratty. He closes his eyes for a moment, then puts his fingers on his temples.
"No, I do not think he is here," he says with a light Bavarian accent.
Huh. So it is a caste system? Or do the eyes simply show power of some sort? Their ability to afford better eyes?
Note to self: ask if the souls for soul coins are stored in some sort of central bank or if the soul coins are actual souls. Or maybe they're fiat money and they just call them soul coins for historical reasons. Then again, this is supposed to be hell, so that's not very likely.
Approach the purple-eyes-shadow-vendor. Show him a golden shoe.
"Hello friend. What do you say I give you some gold for your goods? It is of excellent quality and in a very interesting shape."
They always say you have to start with a low price when bargaining. I think one show counts as low.
The vendor examines the shoe carefully from a distance. Its purple eyes narrow to critical slits.
"Not of excellent quality, and the material's absolute rubbish, but a shoe's a shoe. Give me the other one of the pair as well and I'll let you have a pick of one treat and one flavor of water to go. Sound agreeable?"
Post by: Toaster on January 01, 2015, 09:30:37 pm
Post by: Xantalos on January 01, 2015, 10:02:02 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 02, 2015, 03:37:47 am
((Am I way ahead in the timeline or something?))
Not at all, it's just that I assumed your dialogue carried the implication that you're going to move forward, and that's definitely a process that requires a full turn to describe, unlike dialogue.
Do you have any margarine here? I can make vampires.
"Nope. But hey, there's grocery stores and what have you. Should be some margarine there."
Post by: Xantalos on January 02, 2015, 03:55:26 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 02, 2015, 04:50:50 am
Is there one extremely close by? Otherwise I'm going to be distracted by some oddity, go on a completely unrelated adventure, and come back about 2 years later with no margarine.
"Isn't that a risk we all take by leaving home in the morning? In any case, get on that unless you have a better idea. Maybe take Jo along as well."
"Why me?"
"Well, I guess lawyer-babe's also a decent alternative."
"Perhaps a better alternative, as I have no magic on me," lawyer-babe says.
Post by: Xantalos on January 02, 2015, 05:23:59 am
It was joking, right?
So, where's the closest corner store? Or supermarket or whatever?
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 02, 2015, 05:33:19 am
If I end up returning as an insatiable being bent on devouring the matter of all in it's path just know it's your fault, then, the DUNKER says in a joking tone.
It was joking, right?
So, where's the closest corner store? Or supermarket or whatever?
"There is a mom-and-pop place about three blocks away, and I think there used to be one margarine factory in the district. Defunct now for years, no margarine in there probably."
"A worthwhile interjection. This and psychic German shenanigans is what we keep you around for, Paul!"
Post by: Xantalos on January 02, 2015, 05:44:26 am
Let's go head over to that mom-and-pop store, after getting further detail about which direction it's in, etc.
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on January 02, 2015, 06:17:46 am
We'll go there'll then. Come, lawyer person!((Cut to him, one month later sword fighting a demonic beast hell bent on destroying all margarine in existence.
Let's go head over to that mom-and-pop store, after getting further detail about which direction it's in, etc.
Also, if you could get the margarine factory up and running again, you could probably make a killing off making disposable margarine assassins/protectors.)
Post by: Parisbre56 on January 02, 2015, 06:35:06 am
"You drive a hard bargain friend. Consider yourself lucky I am in a hurry. It is agreed."
Normally now would be the time for me to talk about the excellent quality of my offered goods and accuse him of trying to rip me off before trying for a lower price, but I think that would take too long or is impossible. What would I even offer him? One and a half shoe? Besides, it's not like I can't make more.
Give requested shoe pair for food and drink.
If possible, try to pick a flavour that sounds exotic, like something I've never tried before, without sounding terrible. If I can't make such choice, then choose what I think is best. Failing that, choose at random.
If possible (if the train is not too crowded and if it is steady enough for us to move around while consuming food and drink) continue walking with Caradog. Else, eat first, then walk with him.
"So, is this thing we're doing work related? What is your job down here anyway?"
Post by: Toaster on January 02, 2015, 11:13:04 am
((Am I way ahead in the timeline or something?))
Not at all, it's just that I assumed your dialogue carried the implication that you're going to move forward, and that's definitely a process that requires a full turn to describe, unlike dialogue.
((No problem; just curious.))
Post by: lawastooshort on January 04, 2015, 04:45:03 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 04, 2015, 04:56:46 pm
"O Potato God? Is there, you know, a simpler way to travel trans-dimensionally than trying to stick myself into myself, as it were?"
"Indeed there is, my prophet."
Post by: lawastooshort on January 04, 2015, 05:10:55 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 04, 2015, 06:53:39 pm
"I thought that would be your answer, O God. What is this simpler way?"
"I am confident that you can think of it on your own, my prophet."
Post by: lawastooshort on January 05, 2015, 08:04:47 am
Cast a Potato Vortex and step through it.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 05, 2015, 05:43:48 pm
"Let's go, dude. Haven't got all day to hang around in Hell."
"Truer words have never been spoken, bro," says Cal, still glowing quite intensely, and together the two leave the ruined office of Finch, leaving the van behind as they move out into a hallway with a conspicuous floral wallpaper and a gray floor, one that stretches out into the far distance, with a great many slightly widened 4-way intersections along the way. Doors of varying quality are placed regularly along the walls, plus a soda machine or two along the way. Shadows move across the hall and down it regularly, their eyes largely some shade of green, although not exclusively so - a few yellow-eyed shadows as well as a single cyan-eyed one are visible along the length of the passage.
"Cripes, it's going to take forever to get anywhere. Screw it, take my hand," says Cal, extending a palm toward Larry. Larry, seeing no reason not to, grabs it, and instantly feels like this may not have been a good idea, as in a single moment he feels like he has been stretched across the length of about five miles, the next moment entailing his body snapping across that length rather uncomfortably, going through the seemingly infinite hallways of this office complex, ten floors down a rather large elevator shaft, spending about a second in a massive thoroughfare, through several places that look like access tunnels, then finally coming to a stop at what may or may not be their destination.
Where they find themselves now is clearly a lounge of some sort - it's reasonably spacious (at least horizontally speaking - the ceiling is only about two meters high), filled with couches and coffee tables, on each of which sit no less that three and no more than eight shadows with eyes of orange or yellow. The tables are all filled with what look like mugs in various states of dirtiness. The place itself, abuzz with conversation, immediately quiets as the two appear. All eyes are on Cal and Larry, and they are about to start feeling a tad uncomfortable, but the public at large then seems to realize that they're not nearly interesting enough to warrant any form of gawking, and then mostly return to their chatting. Some still gawk, granted, but they seem like an unpleasant lot, Larry decides. Meanwhile, the blue-eyed shadows skipping about the place and ensuring a steady flow of full mugs to the tables and empty mugs to regularly-spaced pillars with what look like dumbwaiters installed in them do not seem to have noticed the arrivals in any significant way.
"Right, then. Larry, you know anything about real estate? I'm thinking maybe I should let you take the initiative here."
* * * * *
John is mildly disappointed at the way it seems that no maiming shall be taking place today, making sure the safety's still on for his revolver. Noticing that it doesn't actually have a safety, John is a tad disquieted. Guess he'll just have to try to not cock it by accident. Hm.
"Would you like to go first, Tracey?" he asks.
"No way, man. You're the one with the experience, you go first. I'll be, uh, taking notes," Tracey says, taking a step away from him and the others as if to further affirm the desire to be second in line. John shrugs and decides to get this over with as quickly as possible, and takes up a fighting position along with Stan twenty paces from one another in the backyard of the house, beyond which there is only a sparsely wooded area with no other potential witnesses.
"Okay, you've got one minute to prepare, starting... now," says Pilton, acting as arbiter of the duel. At his signal, Stan immediately works some sort of magic, and in his hand a shape very reminiscent of a longsword begins to form. Pilton stands with his back against the house's back door, and Tracey has sat down right next to him, watching with a very thoughtful expression.
* * * * *
Dave has little to lose now aside from his very existence, and thus he tries to scream out his urgent need to all who may listen.
~GIVE ME ENERGY. I NEED IT TO LIVE!~
Sadly, his psychic voice is of insufficient audibility, his presence too weak and growing weaker still, diffusing into the fabric of the denture plane. He screams for help for as long as he can, past the point where he can recall his name, remember the face of his mother or understand the words of his spells, and with a final inarticulate shriek, Dave fades out entirely, with only Charles even vaguely noticing as the world becomes one unfortunate schlub poorer. Solemnly hanging his head low, Charles holds a moment of silence in Dave's memory before letting his resolve to be the best sequel to his former owner that he possibly can be take hold.
He turns to the Denture God, the mass of spiraling rows of teeth looking slightly quizzical, calling out for Dave periodically before giving the divine equivalent of a shrug and continuing on. It does not even appear to know what has just transpired. With a loud squeal, Charles petitions for the god's attention, which it readily provides. It is from this point that discussions of the future may begin, and it is quite the future that Charles intends to secure for himself, no doubt.
Dave is completely and utterly dead, killed by overload of elemental divine power.
* * * * *
With a trip to the store seeming like a reasonable enough task for even him not to cock up beyond all repair, THE DUNKER beckons the lawyer woman to follow him on his quest after quickly ascertaining that the store in question seems to be located just off Import Avenue right behind a steak house, the giant fork atop which is apparently rather difficult to miss.
"We'll go there'll then. Come, lawyer person!" he says with a healthy sense of drama, and the lawyer-woman gets up calmly and follows without another word at a brisk pace, seemingly quite eager to keep the fellow out of any trouble. Together they descend the stairs and get right out of the factory, then locate the giant fork, which is indeed clearly visible from the street if one looks carefully enough, and then proceed in that direction, saying nothing to each other. The lawyer-babe appears to have an interesting habit of shooting glances all about, presumably looking for trouble along the way. One wonders if she does that all the time, or she has simply heard something of THE DUNKER's exploits thus far.
In any case, the trip is uneventful, and soon THE DUNKER and his lovely escort enter the store. Inside they see what is definitely a very archetypical mom-and-pop operation. Elderly owners working at the register gossiping about something inane, slightly tacky ambiance, a moment of odd looks devoted at new arrivals, hideously overpriced produce from mildly questionable 'local' sources, store music provided by an old radio, that sort of thing. Now, how would one approach a situation like-
"Hello. I'd like some margarine, please," the lawyer-babe says to the man at the register, striding confidently forward with a smile. The man quickly retrieves the single store-available brand, which seems to cost 3 dollars per package, then asks if she needs anything else. She asks for two more packages, which the man readily provides, then pays for it in cash in a very quick and efficient manner, saying thank you as she turns to to leave. She then walks back to THE DUNKER before he has a chance to react, handing him all three packages and ushering him back out of the store.
"So, now we have margarine. Have you any other urgent needs, or shall we return immediately?" she asks offhandedly, already guiding her companion on a return path, seemingly only even bothering to say anything out of elementary politeness.
* * * * *
Eta realizes that there's no real point to haggling when she has a nigh-infinite supply of trade goods, and simply accepts the shade's deal.
"You drive a hard bargain friend. Consider yourself lucky I am in a hurry. It is agreed."
"Very good," the shade says, accepting the pair of golden shoes and quickly placing them in a small box behind the counter of its kiosk. "Now, what will you have?"
After a moment of deliberation, Eta decides to go with Yummy Umami water and a Saltmint treat, since of the combinations offered (including such wonderful flavors as Bitter Lipid) these seem to offer the most novelty versus likely grossness. The water comes in a very thin plastic cup with a lid and seems to be lukewarm, while the yeast treat is rather warm and packed in very dry paper with a single opening. Pressing the yeast treat seems to let it come through the opening, sort of like pressing on a balloon. Since this seems like it's meant to eat on the go, Eta proceeds to walk with Caradog, taking a bite of the treat and finding that it does indeed seem to be salty and minty at the same time and in equal measure, which is certainly an odd sensation to feel in one's mouth. Washing it down with a bit of umami water works out nicely, even if Eta's slightly unused to water tasting significantly of glutamate.
"So, is this thing we're doing work related? What is your job down here anyway?" she asks of Caradog as they proceed along the moving walkway train.
"Oh, we're essentially doing debt collection. And by that I mean that you're doing debt collection, since the people we're dealing with would pretty easily recognize me. What you're going to have to do is find a particular dumbass with a debt, make sure it's the dumbass I want by having him admit his name, and from there I'll take over. I'm not actually a debt collector, mind you. This is just a favor someone's cashing in, and I figure you can help me out with it very nicely. Speaking of, here's our exit," Clive explains, leading Eta off the walkway into a nearby station, very similar to the one they entered the walkway with, though with slightly fewer staircases. A sign seems to indicate that they are currently in a place called the "AR Cross Station", though Eta doesn't get to examine the place for too long, as Clive quickly leads her up the leftmost staircase and up into what looks like a multi-level street, with catwalks connected by staircases going for what looks like a hundred stories up and a hundred stories down. The rather large structure is flanked by impossibly tall walls on both sides that converge in the distance both in front of her and behind her, hinting at a rather massive length in total. It's slightly surreal to look upon it all, and thus it's probably a good thing that she doesn't get to, as Clive leads her in a rather exhausting trip up, down, then up again several flights of stairs and across several catwalks, and Eta finds herself practically submerged in the foot traffic - the whole network of catwalks is hard to appreciate due to the seemingly millions of shades wandering through it, largely shades of the blue and purple eyed persuasion, it seems, though a few cyans, teals and an occasional green can be found.
Hell's pretty bad if one doesn't like crowds, it seems. It's also a place where one is in a constant rush to get somewhere, or is it just Clive who's trying to take Eta somewhere at a mildly feverish pace to the point where she quickly loses track of where she's going, where she came from and even how far she seems to have gone. In any case, they manage to land in front of a doorway eventually after she manages to lose track of time as well in a final surge of helplessness.
"Right, we're here. Now, you go in here and look for the Toe Pine Seven block. Might take a while, but make sure to consult the map that's in the lobby. I'll be going off to do something else for the moment. The shithead you're looking for is Zigward Bonzo. He's got purple eyes and he's living on a block of people with purple eyes. You need him to admit his name, and then say my name three times. It's like serving a subpoena. Don't tell him you're here to collect a debt, just come up with some bullshit, you know. Any questions? Make it quick, I shouldn't linger," he says in a rushed manner, pointing at the doorway, which Eta can vaguely perceive as the shades keep streaming past the two of them.
* * * * *
Halesey, struck by inspiration as God points him in the most obvious of directions, tries to cast a potato vortex on the nearby area.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5+1]
The vortex, unsurprisingly, appears without issue seemingly without heed to Halesey's currently absent (or, rather, vortexed) arms and legs, and Halesey tries to get himself free to swim toward it and out into freedom.
[Halesey's body roll: 6-->1]
He pulls all of his limbs out simultaneously with the minimum necessary number of joint dislocations (that is to say three of them) and tries to set all three of them in place simultaneously for the sake of symmetry - he succeeds, of course, but not without an amount of screaming and flailing that is sufficiently untoward that he feels the need to clear his throat politely for a few moments before proceeding to the vortex he just made, his limbs a little wobbly from the ridiculous abuse he just put them through.
However, he does manage to flop out on the other end, feeling very strange inside as the vortex on his torso goes inside out during the transition. Flopping around like a disfigured fish for a few seconds, he stands up and looks around the place he's in.
Huh. Looks like he's back at that factory where the fat dude who gave him magic resides. Who would've thunk it?
Post by: Xantalos on January 05, 2015, 06:48:18 pm
Check donut stash. If it's 5 or under, amble up to the counter and inquire if they have donuts. If they do, purchase the necessary amount to have 10 in total. Then head back to the factory. If they don't have any, then just head back.
Post by: Toaster on January 05, 2015, 08:19:29 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on January 06, 2015, 04:51:47 am
"That's good, I can do that. Just want to ask three things first:" Eta said as she wrote down the name and location of the... person she was looking for.
"One, is there any way to identify him by my senses, or am I going to have to use other means?
Two, any way to contact you? Can I use this thing" Eta raised her palm to show him the mark he had given her "to talk to you, like a cell phone?
And three, is there any way to get out of here quickly, in case you, for some reason, can't help?"
EDIT: Now that I mention it, has that mark in my hand done anything weird at all since I came down here?
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 06, 2015, 05:44:14 am
"Why is it always fucking real estate? I threatened an agent topside into helping me, does that count?"
"It's more experience than I have. And hey, if you've got a better idea on who'd be more of an expert of what to do with a planet, you're welcome to guess."
Ah, OK, that doesn't sound that bad. I was afraid it was going to be something bad. But I'm just here to see justice done.
"That's good, I can do that. Just want to ask three things first:" Eta said as she wrote down the name and location of the... person she was looking for.
"One, is there any way to identify him by my senses, or am I going to have to use other means?
Two, any way to contact you? Can I use this thing" Eta raised her palm to show him the mark he had given her "to talk to you, like a cell phone?
And three, is there any way to get out of here quickly, in case you, for some reason, can't help?"
"Let's see, the fucker's about average height, shadowy and has purple eyes, or maybe more of a dark violet if he hasn't been paid in a while, exactly like everyone else in block Toe Pine Seven, which is entirely deliberate on his part, I assure you. As for contacting me, don't flash the mark in there. It identifies you as my associate, and nobody's gonna talk to you if they get even a whiff of it. And if you wanna get out, and it doesn't look like I'm about to help, give the law a few persuasive shouts, and someone will come along in a moment and help you out. Like 'help, police', for instance."
Post by: Parisbre56 on January 06, 2015, 05:54:53 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 06, 2015, 05:59:07 am
"Hmm.... All right, I think I know what to do then. I've searched for people who don't want to be found before. One final thing. Got any gloves lying around, something to help with my mark? Perhaps one of those fingerless leather ones?"
"Not on hand I don't. You might wanna ask somebody on one of the other blocks. Maybe trade for a golden shoe or two."
Post by: lawastooshort on January 06, 2015, 06:08:26 am
Wander around, looking for the leyline, or people. Try to move quietly. Take a look in any possible sources of reflections to check my current physical status.
Spoiler: Benjamin, Practicing Potatoist and Wielder of the Adult Literature of Death (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on January 06, 2015, 07:02:35 am
"Okay then, thanks for the tip. When we talk again, I'll make sure to have your friend's defaulter... on hand."
Unless there's something else Caradog wants to say, get in and have a look around. Hold my notepad in such a way that it conceals my mark.
Post by: Toaster on January 06, 2015, 09:35:14 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 06, 2015, 12:01:36 pm
"Bah, whatever. Which one do we need to talk to, or do I just start yelling our offer?"
"To be perfectly honest, they all look alike to me."
Post by: Toaster on January 06, 2015, 12:57:21 pm
Post by: Pancaek on January 07, 2015, 06:16:46 pm
Cast yellow pademelon shield between me and Stan
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 17, 2015, 08:56:07 am
Wait, no, he has no new spells. Unless he can't research spells in his sleep. That would be good to know, as then he'd presumably know to secure his donut box before going to sleep, maybe with some kind of childproof lock.
But that's a problem for a later date! Right now, the important thing is that he has far too few donuts for his plans. This must be corrected. He ambles up to the counter and asks the elderly man with a conspicuously tiny nose if he has any donuts. The man says yes, and produces some bagels. THE DUNKER, slightly impatient, takes them anyway, as even if they're a tad stale, they're really quite cheap in comparison to the actual donuts he got, the six bagels he needs costing him about three bucks, and so he takes them, pays up and wanders off with his companion back to the factory.
"Adventure has been successfully averted," his new friend tells him, handing him the three packets of margarine. "Now then, get to business, if you will. With the margarine and such."
Just then, THE DUNKER becomes conspicuously aware of a fellow standing next to what looks like a portal to an alternate dimension not too far away on the ground floor of the factory - a fellow with the same kind of portal on his chest, hungrily pulling at THE DUNKER and his companion seems to be standing next to them, looking rather confused.
* * * * *
Halesey is rather confused. Has anything he has experienced in the last few days actually happened? Is this real life, or merely some sort of potato-induced vision? It seems rather strange to him for a moment that the potato can be so central to the universe at large, and that this fact may, more than anything, be an indication of the possibly illusory nature of this universe. But then he looks at the vortex on his chest and feels calmed, as there is nothing like the swirl of potatoes in an infinite plane where God's will is made manifest to calm and reassure the mind that there is no way all this can be some form of extended psychotic break.
As he stops his moment of introspection (or extraspection, considering he's looking into a different plane of existence even if he's technically staring at his own chest), he then turns to his surroundings. Something's different here. A new paint job, he realizes as he looks closely. It smells different, like body lotion, cigarette smoke, broken dreams. The area is warmer than he recalls, and the floor is much softer. Looking down on it, he notices a lightly leathery texture to it interrupted by regular dark marks arranged in a shape reminiscent of a road map. A few soft hairs are jutting up from the ground, and the entire place seems to be breathing softly, with a distant noise here and there that reminds Halesey of a cough. As the entirety of these impressions hits Halesey, he starts to feel mildly disturbed, as other than these details the layout is the exact same, giving him a feeling reminiscent of stepping into some form of parallel otherworld. He looks back at the vortex, and feels the impulse to step back in.
Then he looks away from it and notices two people entering through a fleshy door, more like a fold of flesh they push open than a door like the one he kicked through when first entering. One of them's a fat untrustworthy-looking fellow in a suit. Next to him is a very familiar-looking woman. It's that beautiful Jo-derived lawyer person. Halesey can't quite remember if she has a name of her own. He walks up to the two, and they look at him wordlessly for a moment, their eyes drawn to the vortex on Halesey's chest.
* * * * *
Eta, upon getting no further input from Caradog, gets on with her mission, heading into the building past a steady stream of exiting shades, and immediately it becomes apparent that claustrophobia probably isn't all that common in hell, considering that the "lobby" is a hallway with a ceiling about two meters tall, two meters wide and about a hundred meters long, with what look like elevators placed along the sides every two meters or so. She wanders down the hall, looking at the signs next to each elevator, but finding seemingly no rhyme or reason in relation to where they go - for example, one elevator leads to blocks Skull Fjord Five, Cloud Cat Nineteen, Gem Fox One, Train Chair Five and a couple more, and the next one leads to three of the same ones, one of which, Cloud Cat Nineteen, spontaneously blinks out on both of them, getting replaced by Arm Trough Two. A few purple-eyed shades then emerge from the elevator, rapidly moving past Eta before she can even bid them some form of polite linguistic filler and disappearing off into the distance.
Intrigued, she steps up against one of the nearby walls and observes for a moment to see what happens with the elevators. Occasionally the blocks an elevator leads to seem to change - each time this happens, Eta notices, it is soon followed by shades exiting it. Around this end of the hallway shades exit every few moments, while at the other end (which is similarly connected to what she assumes is a street of hell) shades enter every few minutes, so there is a sort of gradient of traffic. Around the middle are elevators (or, rather, Eta assumed them to be elevators - they appear to be a lot more like tubes that shades are sucked into or spat out of. Whether there's floor selection of any kind remains a mystery. In addition, it's unclear whether there's any way she could possibly find block Toe Pine Seven without extensive guesswork.
* * * * *
Larry faces the honorable assemblage of demons he was only... yesterday? The day before yesterday? Well, the demons he only recently was busy violently sabotaging. Hopefully they won't remember that part.
"So hey dudes, I got a buddy up in Mercury with a prob-" he begins, but is interrupted when the entire mass of shades pounces upon the two, with one in particular leading the way as it takes a different shape midway, its body switching to quadruped and furry, its slavering jaws opening and reddish-orange eyes glowing as it leaps forth and touches both Larry and Cal, and then everything goes dark as the shades wash over the two like a tidal wave.
In an instant, Larry and Cal are elsewhere, in a different, greener place - it is a cube-shaped room, each side an unusually spacious 6 meters, and absolutely filled with greenery, vines crawling along the walls. About three meters up on the wall opposite them is a shelf, on which currently lounges that thing they saw before - a dog with a short, sandy coat of fur and a slightly wolfish manner, chewing on a bone with very sharp teeth. Looking down on the two arrivals from above, the dog speaks, though its mouth does not move to match the words fully, making it look like a slightly low-quality dub.
"Hey now, I was wondering when these two would be up. It's a bit distressing to see people pass out for fourteen minutes just from that. Don't they teach them in heaven that when they're about to be trampled by executives, they group their limbs together and hold their breath? Demon sweat can be toxic to the uninitiated, they ought to know!" it says, clearly attempting to grin with its entire toothy mouth. "So then, I heard them say they had some kind of thing I could help with on Mercury! I had started running for them a little earlier, of course, since I did realize they clearly had something of value to bring up regardless of the actual content of their message, but that's how much I heard before I tackled these two like the bunch of marks they clearly are. They're lucky I did, too! If I hadn't claimed them first, the other shysters over at the Establishment would have screwed them over so hard, they'd be lucky they had a single dimension of real estate left by the end of it! The people there are real fine-print types, you see. And even then they should not think it didn't take a fight to hold on to you! Had to bite down on the doughy one and dig my claws into the glowing one to hold on in the end!"
Larry becomes aware of a bandaged shoulder when a sharp pain runs through it almost in response to the dog's words.
"But I get ahead of myself, or at least them! How can I help these two enterprising heavenly gentlemen, I wonder? Their problem is not clear to me just yet, though I know it in my pith that they do want to tell me all about it so that I can mobilize my vast resources to help them to the best of my ability!"
* * * * *
John is starting to feel like there may be some unforeseen risks in this duel.
"IS that a sword, Stan? I thought we were supposed to keep this civil like, without too many injuries. Swords injure people, Stan!"
The blade in Stan's hands fully materializes - it's an odd, slightly curved thing covered in brown feathers, giving it the shape of an albatross wing. The guard and hilt are black and oddly shaped, and when the guard proceeds to emit a half-melodic quack, it becomes clear to John that things may get weird in a moment. Stan makes a practice swing at the air, and another set of melodic quacks accompanies its passage.
"It's a singing duck blade, sir. I haven't been able to hurt myself with it just yet, and I will be as gentle as I can. And only use the flat side, too."
Since that sounds like it might be painful anyway, John tries to deploy a countermeasure.
[John's affinity roll: 2]
However, he, not being quite sure what a yellow pademelon looks like in the first place (probably not quite like Uzbek melons, he suspects), can't quite manage to put enough conviction in a shield either. He feels a tad unsafe suddenly.
"You still have about forty seconds left, sir," Stan points out. "And I am just about done already," he adds, giving the blade another swing. "Um, if I manage to down you and put the tip of the blade to your neck, will you concede defeat automatically? I really wouldn't want to hesitate if you are just going to hit me with something while I wait for you to surrender."
* * * * *
There is magic everywhere in our world now, and not the shitty kind of magic like the live birth of a human being anymore. Real, honest-to-goodness magic. Reactions to this have been mixed. There's denial, excitement, apathy, wild fear of the end times, all manner of interesting emotions to be had out of people one asks about this kind of thing. These are all relatively ordinary people. Then there's people like the Observer, whose reaction to magic being a thing now appears to have been to don a highly concealing robe-hood combo and a pointy hat on top of it for good measure and go out in search of chaos, destruction and additional means with which he can bring about either or both. After a less than fortuitous run-in with some seemingly unstoppable beavers seems to have demonstrated that perhaps he doesn't want to find chaos and destruction all that badly, he has turned his attention to the pursuit of magic.
Right now, his pursuit of magic largely constitutes aimless wandering along the outskirts of town, as this is where his intuition tells him magic might possibly be found. Wizards don't like people, right? And this place is absolutely desolate in the mid-afternoon, so logically there has to be more than meets the eye here.
This train of thought has seemed progressively more stupid to the Observer along the course of the last two hours he's been farting around the area, but then! A sound! A most out-of-place sound, followed by another one, then a final one. Sounds like a singing duck, he thinks. Most unorthodox.
But should he investigate? A singing duck it may indeed be, but who is to say that it, much like an angry beaver, does not mean him grievous bodily harm? There is only one way to find out, of course, but the Observer's already had a few brushes with death today (if an awkward move past a fearful large dinosaur can be considered a brush with death - knowing dinosaurs, though, he is tempted to say it can be).
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Xantalos on January 17, 2015, 09:01:58 am
Huh, you don't see a man with a vortex in his belly every day. I'll get to you in a minute, dear fellow, I just have to summon some double vampires.
Transmute Margarine Into Undead Lottery Ticket Vampires!
Spoiler: Fresh DUNKING (click to show/hide)
Post by: BlitzDungeoneer on January 17, 2015, 09:39:20 am
Search for the source of the singing duck noise.
Spoiler: An Innocent Bystanders Guide to The Observer (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 17, 2015, 09:44:01 am
((Did Blitz do good?))
Yes, you've got the idea. Not really any need to describe your unmentionables, but the shirt and trousers thing helps, 'cause otherwise I'd assume the Observer was naked under that robe.
Post by: lawastooshort on January 17, 2015, 10:42:10 am
Huh, you don't see a man with a vortex in his belly every day. I'll get to you in a minute, dear fellow, I just have to summon some double vampires.
"Yeah, it's not a vortex, or rather not just a vortex - it's the will of God. Would you care to join me as a disciple of the True Potato?"
Cast Hairy Mafioso Barrier to my left.
"Ah. My acquaintances. Good evening, mafiosi."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on January 17, 2015, 11:05:30 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 17, 2015, 11:24:31 am
((Was it even possible for me to survive?))
It was. You rolled really well on survival right up until the end (even with the penalty that being scattered by your own spell gave you) but rather poorly on communication.
That said, I was winging it with the mechanics there (mostly taking pages from LBAD's playbook and giving you progressive survival rolls, though they were based on Affinity mostly), so it might not have come out entirely fair. On the other hand, had I stuck with the proper chunky salsa rules, then the poor supercharged roll would have killed you then and there.
Post by: Pancaek on January 17, 2015, 11:58:37 am
John keeps talking without really paying attention, trying to think for a way to defeat Stan.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 17, 2015, 12:02:44 pm
"I'm afraid I can't quite surrender. Have to look courageous in front of the ladies and all that. I don't suppose it would be sporting to just shoot you anyway?"
John keeps talking without really paying attention, trying to think for a way to defeat Stan.
"I'd prefer it if you didn't shoot me, sir. It could be very dangerous to my health," Stan tells you. "Let's both be nice to each other. So, do we start now?"
Also, you have no idea how to defeat Stan. He's got a sword and magic. You have magic. Anything could happen.
Post by: Pancaek on January 17, 2015, 12:17:00 pm
Attempt to cast eldritch Vase-aided flight on Stan, to send him careening off into a wall. Alternatively, get ready to dodge his blow and try to use an opening to punch him hard in the kidneys.
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 17, 2015, 12:29:49 pm
"I suppose we do. I'm just saying, I don't really have any nice and contained spells like your sword. They all tend to run rather wild, you see. I should really work on that, but I haven't really been having much luck with my spells, in some ways."
Attempt to cast eldritch Vase-aided flight on Stan, to send him careening off into a wall. Alternatively, get ready to dodge his blow and try to use an opening to punch him hard in the kidneys.
"Well, that's a shame, sir. I hope we need not hurt one another."
[Your finesse roll: 2]
[Stan's finesse roll: 1-->1+1]
[Your affinity roll: 6-->5]
Before Stan can make a grudging move, you ponderously cast upon him the power of flight - around him starts to orbit a vase with horrid dark tendrils seemingly surrounding its silhouette, and when he looks upon it, immediately flies into his hand.
"Uh... what's this? Well, better not try to find out."
He runs at you, preparing his sword.
[Stan vs. You: 2 vs. 1]
He cautiously turns his duck blade mid-swing and bonks you a bit harshly on the kidneys with it.
"I am not sure this duel thing was very well thought-out, personally," says Stan.
"Nonsense! You guys are doing brilliantly well," says Pilton from the sidelines.
"Get 'im, John!" Tracey cheers.
Post by: Pancaek on January 17, 2015, 01:52:04 pm
Keep up my arms to deflect blows, and when I see an opening give him quick jabs. Duck and weave, Johnny boy, duck and weave. Give him the one-two-punch.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 17, 2015, 02:05:39 pm
"No offense Stan, but I rather hate your guts right about now."
Keep up my arms to deflect blows, and when I see an opening give him quick jabs. Duck and weave, Johnny boy, duck and weave. Give him the one-two-punch.
"Uh, well, sorry about that, whatever it was," Stan says as you try to prepare to dodge and/or block.
[Stan vs. You: 2 vs. 3+1]
[You vs. Stan: 4 vs. 4]
He swipes his blade flat side first at you in a semi-competent manner, and you dodge that effortlessly, and while he's recovering try to step forward and give him a quick jab to the face. He, however, steps back a bit too quickly, then springs forth his next attack!
[Stan vs. You: 5 vs. 1+1]
In this case, he seems to have a better idea than before, as he grabs the blade in his hands, swings it like a baseball bat and whacks you straight across the left ear with the pommel, sending you sideways to the ground. You think you might be seeing double for a few moments, and you're not quite sure you can immediately stand up. Also, you can taste blood in your mouth.
"Oh! Sorry! I got, uh, carried away. Sorry again!" Stan says, sounding rather sincerely apologetic.
"Don't be sorry, Stan! He didn't duck and weave! You don't want to coddle a wizard, trust me!"
"Get up, John! Show Stan who's the boss here!"
Post by: Pancaek on January 17, 2015, 02:25:51 pm
"I'm about this close to just summoning a great big blob of angry yetis to attack us all, Stan. You're making me a very anrgy, desperate man, stan. No hard feelings though, right?"
While looking hurt, try to swipe at Stans feet with my legs. If he goes down, try and get on him and punch punch PUNCH. If he doesn't, attempt to blast him with a cloud of humongous T-shirts
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 17, 2015, 02:45:16 pm
John spits on the ground. He doesn't have anything against the ground, per se. They're old friends really, they meet eachother quite often when he drinks.
"I'm about this close to just summoning a great big blob of angry yetis to attack us all, Stan. You're making me a very anrgy, desperate man, stan. No hard feelings though, right?"
While looking hurt, try to swipe at Stans feet with my legs. If he goes down, try and get on him and punch punch PUNCH. If he doesn't, attempt to blast him with a cloud of humongous T-shirts
[You vs. Stan: 2 vs. 4]
You try to kick at Stan's legs to bring him down, but he steps out of range.
"Do I really have to... well, okay," says Stan and holds up his sword by the blade.
[Stan vs. You: 2 vs. 6-1]
As he prepares to beat you down with the pommel some more, you rear back your legs and kick him in the stomach, causing him to stumble back and groan. You then prepare to work your magic.
[Your affinity roll: 1-->3+1]
However, your head hurts and you feel like shit, and you're not sure if a cloud can technically blast anyone, and damn, why the ear, man? That shit is sensitive.
[Stan vs. You: 1 vs. 3-1]
You then kick Stan back once more as he comes over to keep on beating you into submission. It seems to be an excellent delaying tactic, giving you ample time to get up should you feel like it.
"This really is less awesome than I thought it would be."
Post by: Pancaek on January 17, 2015, 02:51:59 pm
Throw sausages at Stan to distract him. Then scurry off and gain some distance. Attempt to cast pademelon shield again.
Post by: Xantalos on January 17, 2015, 04:44:56 pm
"Yeah, it's not a vortex, or rather not just a vortex - it's the will of God. Would you care to join me as a disciple of the True Potato?""No, I'm too far invested in donuts to go there. Nice proposition though, much more polite than some I've recieved."
Post by: Parisbre56 on January 17, 2015, 09:46:36 pm
Post by: Toaster on January 17, 2015, 10:12:31 pm
"Uh... anyway, got a buddy up in Mercury. He wants to build this sweet house, got a lot of ground work done, but he's got no light. There's no usable metal or electricity, and there's no way to get either started because he can't get what he has hot enough to melt glass to make solar panels or some shit. Basically, he needs juice and doesn't have any.
Larry scratched his head. "That sound about right, Cal?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 18, 2015, 05:06:42 am
Is there any sort of reception area containing a receptionist or similar helpful person around here? Or only 'elevators'?
No receptionist, inconveniently enough. At least not that you can see. Guess they can't afford to keep one or something. You do see one alcove in the hallway where a metal shutter covers what would be the window of a receptionist's kiosk, but you're not sure if it has anyone in it.
Larry groaned a bit. Yeah, real estate sucks ass.
"Uh... anyway, got a buddy up in Mercury. He wants to build this sweet house, got a lot of ground work done, but he's got no light. There's no usable metal or electricity, and there's no way to get either started because he can't get what he has hot enough to melt glass to make solar panels or some shit. Basically, he needs juice and doesn't have any.
Larry scratched his head. "That sound about right, Cal?"
"About right, yeah."
"So it is a development contract they want - lucky for them! Trusty Jim Blessed, wild dingo of the hell real estate market, knows no less than fifty-one independent contractors that are sure to jump at the thought of working on Mercury. All that raw, untamed space! I can hear it call out to me - figuratively, of course, since while I may be certifiably crazy, I hardly hear voices at all these days. My insanity manifests more as up to 47% more forthright dealing in comparison to the average real estate developer. I have worked on contracting development of individual spaces ranging up to one thousand cubic meters in size, so it should be clear to them that I am the demon for the job if any demon possibly can be," the trusty Jim Blessed, wild dingo of the real estate market soliloquizes at the two of you. "Setting up a competition to obtain the lowest bidder is going to be a simple matter. Question is, what can they bid to make it worthwhile? Goods I have in hell, souls I have, favors I have in abundance. No, no, no, none of those will do. What Jim Blessed needs, and what the angels of infinite heavens can provide, is space. Mercury has space. Who owns Mercury? Is it they who stand before me?"
"No one owns Mercury. We just kinda have people hanging out there. Like squatting and whatnot. We just send ambitious people there to make cool places to live so that we can move other awesome people there after they're done."
"Ah-woof!" Jim Blessed half-moans, half-barks, not looking at either of you, returning to chewing on his bone. "Mm! I like the sound of that! Well then, let me put it this way. How does thirty-three square kilometers of land on Mercury with full vertical exploitation rights all the way down to the core and exclusive planetwide contracting rights for Jim Blessed sound in return for guaranteed planetwide development contracts, no further payments required? 'Cause then they can just leave the rest up to me."
Cal looks at you doubtfully. "That doesn't sound like much. I mean, Mercury's not as huge as most planets, but it's still, y'know, a planet. I'm not sure if I can just make that call, though... I mean, I don't know anyone to ask, since we're all kind of on the same organizational level, and... well, I dunno."
"The glowing one could bring over some more friends - knowing where Jim Blessed lives should be enough for it to find its way back. They can mull it over for a while, I've got time and patience in abundance. Things can be figured out. What's important is that Jim Blessed's offer, most generous one on the market by a mile, is known to these two, and they are welcome to return to Jim Blessed's fine office for further negotiations!"
Post by: Parisbre56 on January 18, 2015, 09:20:25 am
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on January 18, 2015, 09:54:16 am
Post by: Toaster on January 18, 2015, 12:08:16 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 18, 2015, 12:28:42 pm
Larry shrugged. "Gonna have to say you're the expert here. Who would you ask anyway; more angels? The Big Cheese?"
"I dunno. Oldthinker, maybe? Maybe some sun people, they seem to have their shit together. You think this is a good idea, man?"
Post by: Toaster on January 19, 2015, 10:00:21 am
The name rang a bell all of the sudden. Larry checked his watch; how close to 2 PM was it?
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 19, 2015, 10:44:40 am
Larry shrugged. "Well hell, if the angels won't do it, and us mortals can't do it, who else does that leave? If we want it done, it's gotta be them. Ain't really my call, though. Yeah, go ask Oldthinker."
The name rang a bell all of the sudden. Larry checked his watch; how close to 2 PM was it?
2 PM, as it happens, is about fifteen minutes away. My, how time flies.
"Yeah, I will. So the plan's all taken care of for now, I guess. Thanks, dude. And you, dingo dude," Cal says.
"Gratitude! How gratifying."
"Okay, so, shall we be off?"
Post by: Toaster on January 19, 2015, 10:57:03 am
Let us abscond back to the Earthen planes. Gotta meet Tom at his place at 2.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 21, 2015, 07:14:24 am
"Huh, you don't see a man with a vortex in his belly every day. I'll get to you in a minute, dear fellow, I just have to summon some double vampires," THE DUNKER starts off, hoping to end the introduction before it has begun.
"Yeah, it's not a vortex, or rather not just a vortex - it's the will of God. Would you care to join me as a disciple of the True Potato?" Halesey makes the usual pitch in lieu of proper conversation.
"No, I'm too far invested in donuts to go there. Nice proposition though, much more polite than some I've received," THE DUNKER replies, and tries out his new spell.
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 6-->1+1]
All three packets of margarine in his possession suddenly burst open violently, the sandwich spread within liquefying and coalescing into a greater, violently mixing whole. It starts to bubble and expand in a way that makes the three people in the room back away a little bit, afraid of margarine stains that may never come off in their life. Halesey, suitably unsettled by the stated conjuring of double undead, takes certain measures.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 4]
As Halesey makes a welcoming gesture, a group of hairy fellows in tracksuits appears to the left to him, standing in a very solid-looking line.
"Ah. My acquaintances. Good evening, mafiosi," says Halesey as the blob of margarine continues to grow.
"I think I will go. You two seem to have the situation well in hand, really," says the lawyer lady, but does not start walking away, apparently seeking affirmation before doing so, which neither of her two friends seem to be willing to give.
"I HUNGER!" shouts the blob of margarine, taking the shape of a rather tiny creature, about the size of a small child, yet nevertheless possessing a very predatory look to it. Its figure fills out at first, then immediately deflates around what look to be some very well-defined bones, in essence forming what looks like a very tiny ghoul of sorts. And the final step of the transformation, it seems, is the skin - the margarine turns a variety of pinks, blues and greens as the outer layer of the creature covers itself with a variety of winning numbers on eye-catching paper, twitching as its very sharp claws no doubt capable of inflicting many of the more severe varieties of papercut, such as across the jugular. As it takes shape, its first course of action, it seems, is to leap.
[Double Vampire vs. Lawyer Lady: 1 vs. 1]
It manages to fly right past her, its ghoulish, yet garish visage rolling across the factory floor for a moment before realizing that it, too, appears to be flesh, and probably easier to capture, too. It sinks its teeth into the floor, drawing a significant quantity of blood from it. After a short moment, it gets up, looking about despite having no visible eyes.
"Well, that didn't help at all!" it immediately observes. "What am I even supposed to want, then? Souls?"
The creature casts a glance over at the gaggle of people, unsure how one may eat their souls, presumably, or at least considering what equipment might be used to do so.
* * * * *
The Observer, not about to waste time when there could be singing ducks about, searches for their likely location, easily isolating it to the backyard of a rather abandoned-looking house in the neighborhood. Curious, he sneaks along the side and takes a look at the noisy proceedings, which sound a lot like fighting, to be perfectly honest, and discovers that it does, in fact, appear to be a fight of some kind. Two esteemed-looking individuals appear to be engaging in less than gentlemanly combat, in fact.
[John's finesse roll: 5]
Less than gentlemanly, the Observer observes, largely because one of them, a balding, meek-looking fellor, has a singing duck blade of legend and the other, a rough urban adventurer type, seems to have a sausage. Not that he is not using it to great effect - the Observer himself is amazed when the sausage sails through the air and strikes the sword wielder straight in the eye, which seems equal parts maddening, confusing and painful according to the reaction.
[Stan's body roll: 3]
The balding man shrieks and backs away, rubbing his eyes to get the sausage slime out. The other guy uses this moment of respite to run away for a moment, putting some distance between himself and his adversary.
"Now that's the kind of thing I'd pay to see!" a man on the sidelines, somebody who the observer would immediately peg as an executive were it not for his absurd-looking mop top and the company he keeps, who appears to be a frazzled waitress of some kind. This looks to be some sort of post-apocalyptic competition for supremacy, the Observer immediately concludes. Unfortunately, though, in his observation, he seems to have wandered out of cover, which has not gone unnoticed by the executive man.
"Hey! You look like a wizard! Wanna join wizard fight club? There's prizes to be won!" he shouts. "Come on over!"
[John's affinity roll: 2+1]
The Observer looks back at the fighting, where fascinating things appear to be happening. Namely, the adventurer person appears to have summoned a small floating marsupial of a bright yellow color and, shockingly, no significant electric charge. He looks bewildered at this result, though why exactly that is the Observer can only begin to guess. Meanwhile, the balding fellow appears to have regained his composure and begun a charge at the wallaby man, seemingly a bit sad and hurt and also possessing a bit of redness in his left eye, his blade emitting an ominous duck chorus clearly building up to some form of fighting song.
"You got him on the run, John!" the waitress laughs, and it is unclear who John's supposed to be, though the Observer suspects that she laughed because it's a pun of some kind, and the one running is the balding fellow, which would mean that John would probably be the guy with the marsupial. "Let the wallaby guide you or something!" she then confirms his suspicion.
* * * * *
Eta, curious about the potential contents of the nearby alcove, walks over to it, brushing past a few rushing shades (though the traffic toward the middle is certainly less dense than around the edges), then approaching the shutter, which appears to be made of almost solid aluminum, and gives it a good knock to hopefully attract someone helpful. As luck would have it, the shutter immediately opens outward like a set of doors on an overturned closet, causing Eta to step back for fear of being knocked over. The top shutter, which has opened toward the ceiling, has "INFO KIOSK" written on it. The lower shutter, which has opened toward the floor, has "FAQ" written on it above some writing that's slightly too small to see readily without kneeling down and examining it carefully.
Inside the kiosk, which seems to be a perfectly white room with no visible entrance, stands a shade without any form of visible eyes. The kiosk smells strongly of dust, and doesn't seem to have been opened in quite a while. Last time it has been opened, judging by the other smell Eta can detect, has been to throw some trash in there, which just seems kind of mean-spirited.
"Yes?" it asks in a very neutral, emotionless tone, its voice more like a whisper or an echo than an actual sound. "Before you speak, check the FAQ."
* * * * *
Larry believes a little haste may be in order.
"Yeah, I gotta get back home. Gonna meet some outsider for the Oldthinker. Tell him I'm tracking one down for him," says he, and Cal nods.
"I will. Now," he says, putting his glowing hand on Larry's head. "Let's go."
Almost imperceptibly, and Larry wonders briefly how this is even possible, given the drastic changes involved, the two seem to have returned to the more ordinary world of the more conventionally living.
"Right, dude," Cal says, withdrawing his hand from Larry's head. Larry feels like his hair might have experienced a little rising at the charge the hand evidently possesses. "I've gotta go, keep yourself alive and magical, y'hear?" he then says before suddenly not quite being there anymore in a completely soundless disappearance, a mild glowing afterimage left on Larry's vision where the angel once stood.
Post by: Xantalos on January 21, 2015, 07:41:50 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 21, 2015, 07:49:47 am
You're a lottery ticker undead vampire, so I suppose you'd want to guard this place forever or until I manage to figure out how to win all your lottery tickets at once? Or why not just follow me, I can show you to some more experienced people. Hey potato guy, wanna come with? There could be power in it for you.
"Fair enough, I suppose. You got anything I could nibble on, maybe? I still hunger, you know."
Post by: Xantalos on January 21, 2015, 07:51:34 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 21, 2015, 08:30:48 am
Would you more fancy lard or watermelons?
"Watermelons, of course!"
Post by: Toaster on January 21, 2015, 08:47:42 am
To the home of the Green Pancake Man and What's-Her-Name!
Post by: Parisbre56 on January 21, 2015, 02:33:43 pm
Eta had overcome her initial surprise was about to greet the shadow when it redirected her to the FAQ.
I suppose reading the FAQ first won't hurt. she thought as she reached for her glasses.
Read the FAQ.
Edit: Mostly looking for information on how to find the block I'm looking for, how to get there and if it is possible to find someone or contact someone in a certain block or with a certain name.
Post by: Pancaek on January 21, 2015, 03:11:05 pm
Run towards stan. Scoop up the pademelon and throw it at him. If he's distracted at all, try and trip him up, then pin him to the ground. If he isn't distracted, charge at him and try to barrel into him. Try and both avoid the duck sword and disarm him if I get the oppertunity in both cases.
Post by: Xantalos on January 21, 2015, 03:25:55 pm
ELECTRIC WATERMELON STOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRMMMMMMM in that case.Would you more fancy lard or watermelons?
"Watermelons, of course!"
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 22, 2015, 03:50:15 am
"Hey Stan, how's the sausage taste?"
Run towards stan. Scoop up the pademelon and throw it at him. If he's distracted at all, try and trip him up, then pin him to the ground. If he isn't distracted, charge at him and try to barrel into him. Try and both avoid the duck sword and disarm him if I get the oppertunity in both cases.
Stan just frowns in response, and you notice the pademelon appears to be entirely telekinetically controlled. This gives you an idea.
[Your affinity roll: 2]
[Your finesse roll: 4]
You try to launch it, but that doesn't seem to work, so you just grab it out of the sphere of influence of your hand and throw it at Stan, who seems rather alarmed by the throw. The yellow marsupial flies at him at a rather slow, yet seemingly very panicked arc as it squirms and tries to reconfigure its body for a landing.
[Stan's body roll: 3]
Stan catches the pademelon gently in one hand and takes a moment to carefully set it down on the ground with a minimum of harm, clearly deeply empathizing with the plight of a living being used as some form of combat instrument. This is your chance, you feel, and you charge at him as he reassuringly pets the thing to make it less scared of the no doubt confusing circumstances of its manifestation.
[You vs. Stan: 1 vs. 3]
Ill-advisedly doing one of those slides you saw soccer players attempt on daytime TV, you manage to completely miss Stan, sliding past him and uprooting a fair bit of grass in the process. To mention that he is confused would be slightly redundant, as it would imply that this fight has been anything else for him thus far.
"Well," is the only thing he can manage as he watches you get up. He doesn't seem to be clear on whether to brandish his sword at you or not.
Post by: Pancaek on January 22, 2015, 08:48:10 am
"Do you see the futility of this fight, now, Stan? I'll just keep doing weird shit until something sticks. I'm like a weed, STAN. I'll never give up, STAN. I'll just keep going like some kind of demented energizer bunny, STAN. You better give up, because we'll both die of old age at this rate, STAN."
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on January 22, 2015, 09:07:20 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 22, 2015, 09:13:13 am
John gets up quickly and points at Stan
"Do you see the futility of this fight, now, Stan? I'll just keep doing weird shit until something sticks. I'm like a weed, STAN. I'll never give up, STAN. I'll just keep going like some kind of demented energizer bunny, STAN. You better give up, because we'll both die of old age at this rate, STAN."
"Huh," he replies, and then tries a charge anyway.
[Stan vs. You: 1 vs. 2]
However, the defensive pose you manage to strike immediately as he starts to move is sufficiently intimidating and/or perplexing that he stops to reconsider his options once more.
Post by: Pancaek on January 22, 2015, 09:24:25 am
While keeping Stan talking (or at least listening), try and get my inner magic voice to generate a new spell. Be wary for movement from Stan and be ready to dodge away should he try something.
((I'm really thinking that Stan might be the equivalent of the Little Girl from ER, just a completely unbeatable avatar of death who makes people get really bad rolls.))((Stan has the power of the duck-blade. Probably, he's channeling the aspect of the goose, making him a suprisingly tough opponent for the way he looks.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 22, 2015, 10:03:18 am
"You're wavering, Stan. I can see the doubt on your face. You don't really wish to continue this, you could simply concede defeat. We'd both be happy and I'll buy you drinks afterwards."
While keeping Stan talking (or at least listening), try and get my inner magic voice to generate a new spell. Be wary for movement from Stan and be ready to dodge away should he try something.
"But that goes against the spirit of the thing, I think," Stan says, then looks unsurely at Mr. Pilton, who nods with fierce agreement. You quickly ask your voice to come up with some manner of spell to help you.
~Hm. Well, I could sure put you in a mindspace or something, but I'm pretty sure you'd lose in that event. But to keep this whole endeavor more fun, I suppose I could just give you one - one spell!~
For a moment, you feel a little odd as something in your brain feels like it's reorganizing itself awfully quickly, a zap and a shiver running along your body.
Spoiler: Your New Spell! (click to show/hide)
You take up a defensive position, but Stan appears to be trying something different.
[Stan's affinity roll: 5+1]
From his hand a stream of paper erupts, forming a ring around his body similar to one of Saturn's rings, orbiting quickly. The paper is pastel-colored, and seems awfully nice to look at.
Post by: Pancaek on January 22, 2015, 10:22:15 am
The time is night. If Stan does not give up, cast Tasty Yetis sphere just above his head. If he does, laugh madly.
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 23, 2015, 06:07:03 am
"Goddamnit Stan, have some self preservation. I'll ask it once more. Do you yield?!" John takes a lofty posture and tries to talk like some mad prophet "Or will you doom us all?!"
The time is night. If Stan does not give up, cast Tasty Yetis sphere just above his head. If he does, laugh madly.
It's daytime, actually, but whatever floats your boat.
"Uh, well, when you put it like that... well, okay. I'll doom us all," Stan replies, sealing his no doubt terrible fate. Your eyes flash, your hair floats (or so you imagine) as you prepare to unleash the power.
[Your affinity roll: 2+1]
And thus, at your behest, a single, no doubt completely delicious yeti appears above Stan, curled up in a fetal position.
[Stan's body roll: 1-->4]
It then falls right on top of the unsuspecting secretary, squashing him beneath its weight with seemingly no trouble at all.
"Urk... okay, okay... uncle. I yield," he croaks from underneath the hairy humanoid that just cannonballed straight on top of him. The yeti looks oddly dignified and satisfied at this result.
"Hooray! We have a winner!" says Pilton.
"I knew you could do it, John!" Tracey cries out just as enthusiastically.
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on January 23, 2015, 06:08:58 am
Post by: Pancaek on January 23, 2015, 06:53:42 am
"I...eh...huh, last time that spell was a lot more bombastic. Well, I'm glad that's over." John looks at the yeti "Thanks for coming, mister Yeti, you've been great. Would you be so kind as to get off of Stan?" He then turns to Pilton "So, what'd I win?"
Politely ask the Yeti to get off of Stan, ask Pilton what I've won. Bask in the dubious glory of succesfully squashing someone with a yeti.
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 23, 2015, 07:36:00 am
John blinks, looks around awkwardly, then clears his throat.
"I...eh...huh, last time that spell was a lot more bombastic. Well, I'm glad that's over." John looks at the yeti "Thanks for coming, mister Yeti, you've been great. Would you be so kind as to get off of Stan?" He then turns to Pilton "So, what'd I win?"
Politely ask the Yeti to get off of Stan, ask Pilton what I've won. Bask in the dubious glory of succesfully squashing someone with a yeti.
The yeti politely rolls off Stan, still keeping its fetal position, allowing the poor injured guy to stand up. He looks pretty banged up.
"You've won access to a leyline! But first, let's have Tracey give the duel a shot as well. Tracey, you need any preparation?"
"Nope!"
"Well then, we can start right away, then. Stan, you ready?"
Stan looks at Pilton miserably for a moment.
"... yes, sir, I'm ready," he says after an uncomfortable pause, clutching his duck blade tightly. The ring of paper orbiting around him shifts inclination a little.
"Okay! Take your positions, then!"
Tracey enthusiastically skips to position, and Stan stumbles over to his spot in a similar manner. Pilton ushers you off to the side. The yeti remains in place, balancing perfectly on its lower back.
"On your marks, go! Let's resolve this quickly, eh?" Pilton says, and the two combatants immediately get to it.
[Finesse - Tracey, Stan: 1+1, 5+1-1]
Or, rather, Tracey stands there a moment, expecting Stan to charge at her, while Stan just uncomfortably looks around. Doesn't seem like he wants to fight her. Tracey shrugs and takes the opportunity to attack.
[Tracey's affinity roll: 4]
[Tracey's finesse roll: 3+1]
A solid, opaque, distinctly sugary bolt covered in sticky hairs is suddenly emitted from her palm, shooting off straight into Stan's center of mass.
[Stan's body roll: 4-1]
Stan, more profoundly unhappy right now than he's probably ever been, half-dodges, getting a shot to the left side of his chest and spinning in place a moment before figuring this'll probably hurt way more if he doesn't move at all. He starts to run toward Tracey, presumably hoping this is over quickly. As he runs, the ring of paper around him explodes into what looks like a cloud, providing a bit of cover to impede his visibility a tad.
[Stan vs. Tracey: 5-1+1 vs. 1]
He manages to get close enough to do a low sweep with the pommel, bringing Tracey down to the ground rather roughly, then smacking her with the blade's pommel in the side. The papers, helping Stan out from the looks of it, immediately leave his body and coat Tracey from head to toe.
"Uh, are we done here? I hope we're done here," Stan says with a measure of regret. "I don't like being mean to girls, Mr. Pilton."
"You don't like being mean to anyone, Stan!" Mr. Pilton says.
"Girls especially, sir. I am also hurting all over. Once again, is this really necessary?"
"I'm certain it is. Otherwise, how will we regulate leyline traffic? You remember the beginning, don't you?"
"Well, yes, but can't you fight the applicants, sir? I'm afraid I'm not very good at it," says Stan. Tracey, tired of trying to say "uncle" as the papers seem to begin suffocating her, starts to just tap out and perform any other gesture of surrender she knows.
"Evidence indicates otherwise! Besides, it'd mean I'd need to get some reasonably fun dueling spells, and that'd be kind of a hassle, since then I'd try to optimize my spell resources, and y'know," Mr. Pilton points out. At Stan's behest, the paper withdraws from Tracey and forms into a ring around him once more, and Tracey draws a deep breath.
"Dang! Need better spells," she says to herself, getting up with a pained groan.
"Quite so, my dear. Now then, John, you get the prize!"
Mr. Pilton fumbles around in his pocket a little and produces a set of keys.
"Entrance to the temple of the leyline!" he says, then ceremoniously opens the back door of the house he's leaning up against. "Follow me, John! Tracey, you stay here with Stan."
"Uh... okay," says Tracey, looking at Stan, who shrugs apologetically, seemingly in quite a bit of pain himself.
Post by: BlitzDungeoneer on January 23, 2015, 09:17:22 am
Post by: Pancaek on January 23, 2015, 11:49:26 am
"Hey there little buddy, sorry about throwing you earlier. I'll get you some salad or fruit later to make up for it." John says in what he hopes is a soothing voice, and not just a creepy whisper
Go over to the Pademelon and try to pick him up. If successful, go and follow Pilton inside. If unsuccesful, ask Tracy to keep an eye on the pademelon and then follow Pilton inside
Post by: Harry Baldman on January 23, 2015, 03:41:43 pm
The Observer blatantly ignores the man, much more interested in observing the fight.
Fight's over, bud. Check Pancaek's miniturns. Can't go running this stuff across weeks of turnage, you know.
Post by: BlitzDungeoneer on January 23, 2015, 04:11:34 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 02, 2015, 03:47:28 pm
The suite looks much the same as it did when Larry first visited it - raygun gothic aesthetic, a little messy in places, naked man with a watermelon-like skin pattern and color sitting down, seemingly waiting for something - it's almost like going back in time.
"Hey, man! Was beginning to wonder if you'd show up! Good to have you here. Better be quiet, though, the girls are asleep," the naked man greets him in a partly hushed tone.
* * * * *
Eta heeds the fine fellow's advice, and looks at the FAQ generously posted on the inside of the shutter.
Spoiler: Frequently Asked Questions (click to show/hide)
That is a fairly short FAQ. Then again, the target audience is probably unsophisticated and difficult to properly confuse.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER has the ultimate unsophisticated answer to the unseemly thirsts of his friend.
[Affinity roll: 1-->3+2]
That answer, it seems, is to inhale deeply, puff up his cheeks and hold a very rigid position for about a minute as mystical arm flailing fails him for what feels like one time too many.
"That's not a very good watermelon impression!" his ghoulish friend critiques sharply. "Though you do look a little appetizing now. Hm!"
The lawyer lady takes advantage of the vampire's distraction and leaves for nicer areas in the meantime, probably feeling like her luck's been pushed far enough. The potato guy has similarly made himself scarce. THE DUNKER, being appraised like a foodstuff, becomes keenly aware that he is now alone with his new friend.
* * * * *
The Observer decides that these magical barbarians can be safely left to their barbaric devices, and looks for something to better fit his tastes, walking off without another word. Surely there's got to be better magic here someplace, he thinks as he turns away and sniffs the wind for abnormal scents.
Hm. There is something in the air, he determines. Something peculiar. Something earthy. And he can hear a very faint tumbling sound, no less. Something calls to him, of that there can be no doubt. Overtaken by a sudden lack of self-preservation instincts, the Observer moves over to the source of these sounds and smells, finding them to be distinctly unnatural.
And wouldn't you know it, he finds a man. A dirty, unkempt man in the woods where civilization seems to abruptly end. Next to him there is what the Observer suspects, but can't quite prove, to be a tear in the fabric of reality, which appears to be disgorging potatoes at an alarming rate. Next to the man, however, stands what the Observer immediately identifies as some sort of dinosaur, though it could just as well be some sort of Lovecraftian monster - it's got four webbed feet, a long newtlike tail, an elongated body, and a very long mouth full of needlelike teeth. Its yellow, beady eyes flash as it regards the man's current actions, which seem to be to take a potato and place it on a rock found nearby. The man makes a minute gesture, and the potato immediately starts changing, its surface growing agitated. Small roots begin to sprout out of it. It looks to be some slow sort of transformation.
* * * * *
John, up for a bit of cleanup now, walks over to his summoned yellow pademelon and grabs it off the ground. The pademelon, being a loyal shield of its master by design, complies without a fight.
"Hey there little buddy, sorry about throwing you earlier. I'll get you some salad or fruit later to make up for it," John tells it, and the pademelon, code of honor and unshakable demeanor aside, visibly perks up.
Joyous at this much-needed forgiveness and validation, John follows Pilton with head held high, walking into a bare kitchen that has clearly not seen any action for over a decade. The air in the building doesn't seem too stale, though. Pilton immediately locks the door behind them as they move along, going for what is very obviously a basement door. Descending the stairs on the other side of the door, the two men come down into a largely empty basement save for a rack filled with ancient jam jars and a rusty bicycle. The floor is dirt, and considerably damp.
Nevertheless, though, John feels the leyline here - it seems to be underground, just like the one in the sewers, and this time without an obvious access point, though John feels like he could reach out mentally and touch it without even the slightest problem.
"Now then, you feel where the leyline is yet? It can be a bit hard if you don't know where it is," Pilton says. "Not easy to sense from a distance, either."
Post by: Toaster on February 02, 2015, 04:48:12 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 02, 2015, 04:57:58 pm
Larry shrugged. "Got tied up in Hell. You know how that goes; demons love to hear themselves talk. Anyway, you needed me to lead you to Saturn to meet the Oldthinker, right?"
"I did? I thought you needed me to do something instead. I don't really remember, to be honest. It's been a busy day. But here I am, so feel free to explain."
Post by: Toaster on February 02, 2015, 05:03:41 pm
Post by: Pancaek on February 02, 2015, 05:05:33 pm
Pet my pademelon buddy, petting cute animals is bound to help me concentrate. Once calm and concentrated, mentally reach out to the leyline
Post by: Parisbre56 on February 02, 2015, 05:14:42 pm
If there's a paper trail for me to follow, then this would be extremely easy. He'd have to use his proper name to get a room here, right?
Post by: Xantalos on February 02, 2015, 05:28:59 pm
Cast Tornado of Self-Replicating Lard near the vampire guy, and if it grows like I expect it to - that is, exponentially - cast Fraction Lard at it once it reaches a height I deem sufficient, ie whenever.
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 02, 2015, 05:45:57 pm
Larry shrugged again. "Well, this Oldthinker dude lives up on Saturn and throws chill parties, and he invited you up to one, but you told me you needed help getting up to Saturn, so here I am to help you get up there. Still in?"
"Normally I would be, but I think I'm a bit partied out, actually. Plus I'm not a big fan of strangers, either. Even when they come recommended!"
"Yea, I feel it. Lemme just concentrate for a sec."
Pet my pademelon buddy, petting cute animals is bound to help me concentrate. Once calm and concentrated, mentally reach out to the leyline
Centering yourself through your power animal, you reach out for the leyline, letting it seep into your aching, Stan-abused bones, reinvigorating you, infiltrating the marrow, suffusing your flesh with the finest of magical meshes that tingles and excites virtually every sense to a slightly painful degree. You shiver as the magic settles into a single node somewhere in the insensible depths of your abdomen, annihilating a single small chunk of your flesh to take its place and fill you with powers untold.
You've snagged yourself a second leyline, you have! Good on you, old bugger! Spend one point on your stats! In addition, you can focus on a single element in your research now, such as 'pademelon', for example.
"Just one question. As you can see, I'm not from around here, I'm actually a tourist. What do I have to do to get a room here? Do I have to pay someone or sign something?"
If there's a paper trail for me to follow, then this would be extremely easy. He'd have to use his proper name to get a room here, right?
"You don't want a room here. You can't have a room here. You get assigned here along with the rest of your work unit to ensure synchronized schedules and orderly traffic. You don't do work, so you don't get to live here, either," the shade explains, seemingly not very pleased about you having actual questions not covered in the FAQ. "Be thankful for the privilege of not living here."
Post by: Parisbre56 on February 02, 2015, 06:39:45 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 02, 2015, 06:46:05 pm
"Aha. So if I were to live here without permission, that would be illegal, right? Or could a friend let me stay with them for a couple of days?" Eta said as she clicked her pen and started taking notes.
"If somebody wants to let you live in their block and consume their resources and cover your food and cooling expense, they are free to do so. The inside of a block is unregulated aside from dispenser fees."
Post by: Toaster on February 03, 2015, 08:50:57 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on February 03, 2015, 09:55:05 am
Post by: Pancaek on February 03, 2015, 02:13:11 pm
"Well, that's always a pretty weird feeling. Now what would you like to do, mister Pilton?"
+1 to affinity. Try to grab a new spell. Attempt to focus on the element 'eldritch'.
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 03, 2015, 03:00:12 pm
Larry shrugged again, with a bit more emphasis. "You didn't seem to mind me. Anyway, he wanted to ask you about magic."
"That sounds like it'd be really tedious to talk about. What could be simpler than magic? You think, you get spells, and then cast them. There's leylines. And a nexus when you've got all of those. What's so hard to understand?"
"So if I paid someone to let me stay here, there would be no way for someone else to find me except for searching the entire block?"
"If you're not registered as an employee someplace, I would suppose not. But you're currently the single tourist in hell as far as I know, so that's not a large problem. The rest can easily be tracked via living assignments. Failing that, there's the paper trail as they pay off their hosts. And if a different arrangement is arrived at, their friends are often kind enough to point seekers in the right direction."
+1 to affinity. Try to grab a new spell. Attempt to focus on the element 'eldritch'.
Eldritch isn't an element. It's a property (or adjective), like Divine, Yellow or Tasty. You can't select those yet.
John scratches the pademelon gently behind the ears.
"Well, that's always a pretty weird feeling. Now what would you like to do, mister Pilton?"
"The business-minded idea would be to find more leylines, clearly. However, might be some amusement to be had in finding some kind of paranormal creature? I've heard a bit about demons, angels, that sort of thing, and I can't say I'm not intrigued, you know?"
Post by: Toaster on February 03, 2015, 03:02:41 pm
Post by: Pancaek on February 03, 2015, 03:03:18 pm
"The business-minded idea would be to find more leylines, clearly. However, might be some amusement to be had in finding some kind of paranormal creature? I've heard a bit about demons, angels, that sort of thing, and I can't say I'm not intrigued, you know?"
"I'll admit, paranormal creatures sound pretty rad. I'm getting rather intrigued about them as well, to be honest."
Darn, let's go with pademelon as element then.
Post by: Toaster on February 03, 2015, 03:04:50 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 03, 2015, 03:25:53 pm
Larry shrugged, giving his shoulders quite the workout. "You'd have to ask him that one. He was quite interested about the... uh... outsider phenomena? If you're not the person to talk to about it, do you know who is?"
"Oh no, I know all about that. But let me ask you this, how fun is explaining the most basic of all basic shit to people you don't know in any way? More importantly, though, what do I get out of it?"
((So wait, if Divine isn't an element, what's the element in Breath of Divine Gentlemen's Literature? Also, does that mean that Divine Angel [foo] is a valid spell combination?))
Gentlemen's Literature, and yes. It may be pertinent to mention that Demonic is also a valid property to apply to Angel.
Post by: Toaster on February 03, 2015, 03:42:00 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 03, 2015, 03:58:30 pm
Larry shrugged. At this rate, he was going to pull a muscle. "Fair enough. What's a man like you want? They've got booze I'm sure they'd offer you some of, but I bet that wouldn't cut it. I could buy you pancakes somewhere? What's a man like you looking for?"
"Not much, I guess. Most things I could need I can conjure myself. Then again... hm... some knowledge might come in handy. Mind opening your mind up to me? I'd like to improve my imitation of a mortal a tad, and I feel like your memories might prove useful."
Post by: Toaster on February 03, 2015, 04:03:23 pm
Sure, whatever. No way this could go wrong.
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 03, 2015, 04:11:11 pm
Larry shrugged again, doing it one shoulder at a time for variety. "Uh, sure, whatever. The green's a bit of a giveaway."
Sure, whatever. No way this could go wrong.
You stare at each other for a moment. You feel like you have worms in your brain despite there technically being no way to sense such a thing.
"Hm. The surface look does seem pretty enlightening. Mind if I take some of the less relevant stuff? Like childhood memories, school, that kind of stuff. Would like to peruse that on my own time. Fascinating, really. I could reimburse you with a cool spell or two if you give me, say, the first fifteen years of your life. Or the five years around the cusp of puberty, even. Maybe give you the spell to emulate or transform into something impressive?"
Post by: Toaster on February 03, 2015, 04:23:46 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 03, 2015, 04:31:07 pm
Larry started to shrug, but stopped. For once, that rare moment of restraint kicked in. "Take it? Not make a copy? Gonna have to say no there, pal. I'll give you an hour or so to spend in my head, if you like."
"I can't make an entirely adequate copy of something I do not fully understand, now, can I? There's just so many delicate layers to all this knowledge, all the minute connections. But an hour does sound reasonable enough. One hour in your head, and I go with you to the Oldthinker and give him the dirt he wants."
Post by: Toaster on February 03, 2015, 04:34:17 pm
Zone out for an hour.
Post by: Parisbre56 on February 03, 2015, 08:09:46 pm
Eta looked left and right to ensure nobody is watching and then got as close to the shadow as it felt comfortable, so that she could talk more quietly.
"Well, you see, the problem is I'm supposed to meet someone in a block here. I know what block he is in, but nothing else besides that. It all started with a divine cheese that lead me to speaking to... I'm not sure."
She looked up, as if contemplating something.
"Something divine. One thing lead to another and now I'm on some quest to tell them something very important, give them some sort of warning. Very weird stuff."
She shrugged. Eta was very careful to always make lies of omission.
"But it leads me to visiting hell. Isn't that fun? It certainly has a certain charm and if nothing else is a very interesting experience. I bet with some changes you could make a lot of money in the tourism industry."
She shook her head, trying to get her thoughts back on track.
"Anyway, I found out that he's hiding here. Would there be any way for you to help me locate him? Perhaps if I provided a little something for your effort?" she added, trying her best to give the shadow her most charming smile. She wasn't sure if that would work, he wasn't exactly the sort of informant she was used to dealing with, but it was worth a shot.
Post by: lawastooshort on February 04, 2015, 09:53:40 am
”So, er. What is your purpose here?”
Spoiler: Benjamin, Practicing Potatoist and Wielder of the Adult Literature of Death (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 07, 2015, 06:02:30 pm
"I am most certainly not delicious! That belongs to donuts and donuts alone. Anyhow, I think I need to test this new spell out anyhow. Don't move," says he, and orients his hands in profanely magical ways.
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 5+1]
[THE DUNKER's finesse roll: 1-->4-1]
At his bidding, a tornado suddenly manifests next to the vampire. Perhaps it is not best described as a tornado - a better analogy would be that it's more of a whirlpool of semi-liquid lard, except without a larger pool of lard in which it would qualify as a proper whirlpool at all. It appears very much like a moving plaster cast of a whirlpool, except much more disgusting-sounding. In addition, it seems to be growing larger at what does indeed appear to be an exponential rate.
Furthermore, it seems to like him. It seems to like him to an unhealthy degree, and is eager to join his body to its own, presumably to turn him into so much off-white goo for its own macabre envisioning of the coming apocalypse.
[THE DUNKER's body roll: 2-1]
[Halesey's body roll: 2]
Unfortunately, neither THE DUNKER, nor Halesey, who seems to be taking a vested interest in observing this lard-based phenomenon, nor his dedicated cadre of immobile and unambitious mafiosi (well, not entirely unambitious and immobile - one has the idea to shoot the non-solid tornado with his gun with predictable results) manage to avoid the rising, spinning tide of lard and are swept into its turbulent mass. The tornado bends, twists and rampages through the interior of the factory, leading the two men trapped within it to begin to suspect they may be in trouble here.
* * * * *
John is seduced by the sheer potential of the concept of a pademelon-based spell repertoire. Look at him now - all he's got is a single yellow pademelon and he's already practically the king of the world. Imagine what he could do with, say, a legion of pademelons at his beck and call.
[John's mind roll: 3]
Indeed, the thought of such a thing renders him so giddy with excitement, he barely manages to even pay any attention to whatever abstract task he's supposed to be performing to the point where, when he finally looks around in his mindscape to see what's what, all he sees is a sky of nothingness, a gray plain stretching out all around him and a single table in front of him, where a note hastily written on white paper with large black spots (alternating between black and white ink depending on the background) awaits. Feeling a little awkward, he takes a look at the missive, hoping it's not some snippy reminder on how he should be paying more attention.
Sadly for him, though, it totally is.
Spoiler: John's New Spell (click to show/hide)
Awakening from his disappointing foray, John sees Pilton looking excitedly at him.
"So, with all that out of the way, what say you we go pick up Tracey, relieve poor Stan of his duties, then split up in search of fun stuff around town?"
* * * * *
Larry elects to not give up fifteen years of memories in return for two spells, since, when he thinks about it, it may in fact rank as one of the shittiest deals he's ever been offered. He instead allows Tom private viewing of his innermost memories for about an hour. Tom, quite enthused, worms his way into Larry's mind much deeper than before, his plainly alien, slightly repulsive mind snaking through Larry's forbidden corridors of cognition.
All things considered, the process feels much longer than it probably is, even with Larry's eventually quite desperate-seeming attempts to zone out. The trouble is, somebody rooting around in your thoughts plainly and intrusively, without even the slightest attempt at subterfuge and with the clear feeling that this very somebody is in a terrible rush, almost as though it were some kind of fire sale on priceless works of art.
Come to think of it, that is an awfully flattering thing to consider one's own thoughts. Here is Larry, replete with thoughts that are the culmination of eight or so thousand years of civilization and two or more million years of human development, the ultimate filter through which humanity will be viewed by a being beyond his immediate comprehension. He now has a market value well in excess of the average 7-11 employee, clearly. If only the "appraisal" didn't feel so fundamentally icky and soul-tainting. This must be what models feel like.
"Most enlightening!" says Tom at the end of the thoroughly disturbing session of thought perusal. "Although still not enough for me to be perfectly satisfied. Hm... you wouldn't be open to negotiation about that whole giving me some memories thing, would you? I don't think I'd need more than, like, a year. Any year of your life you wouldn't mind giving up for good in return for a blisteringly cool spell of some kind. Hm?" he tries for one last sales pitch, clearly not having had quite enough information. Though will he ever truly even have enough, that's probably the more important question.
* * * * *
Eta, seeing no reason why the standard techniques wouldn't work in such a clear Earth analogue/satire/parody/simile/whatever as Hell, tries to butter up the shade at the kiosk a little.
"Only tourist? Really? I suppose Dante did give it a very bad review, but that's hardly a reason to kill the industry. But, fair enough, if that's the way it is," she says, carefully looking around to see if anyone's listening in. Mostly the leaving shades appear to not even take notice of her. She leans in and starts with the logical first step - relating the problem.
"Well, you see, the problem is I'm supposed to meet someone in a block here. I know what block he is in, but nothing else besides that. It all started with a divine cheese that lead me to speaking to... I'm not sure. Something divine. One thing lead to another and now I'm on some quest to tell them something very important, give them some sort of warning. Very weird stuff. But it leads me to visiting hell. Isn't that fun? It certainly has a certain charm and if nothing else is a very interesting experience. I bet with some changes you could make a lot of money in the tourism industry."[/color]
The shade's expression, and thus its reaction, to hearing any of this entirely unreadable. It hasn't moved one bit in about a minute.
"Anyway, I found out that he's hiding here. Would there be any way for you to help me locate him? Perhaps if I provided a little something for your effort?" she says, giving the shade as charming a smile as she can manage.
"No need for compensation. I am very well paid for my work," the shade explains, and with a very high, distinctly unnatural step in which its body demonstrates a great deal of amorphous fluidity, moves out of the kiosk. "I am technically an officer of infernal law," it continues as it closes up the kiosk and draws a finger along the seams between its shutters and the wall, causing them to completely disappear from sight. "However, I find myself in need of a walk. This post is tiring, and I believe I have found sufficient reason to cash in my two vacation hours. So that, I believe, is what I shall be doing. Now, where exactly were you thinking of going?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on February 07, 2015, 09:04:14 pm
"You'd... do that for me? That's- Thank you. I don't know what to say."
Either people from hell are much nicer than advertised or things are so boring down here they'd do anything for something different.
"Still, if there's anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask. I mean, if we get done with this quickly, we could always go someplace else, uh... Maybe you could show me around or explain some things? I have many questions. Would you mind if I asked you more questions?"
Then again, he's the law. Doesn't look like it, but I should watch out nonetheless. Getting involved with the law never ends well. Especially if this thing Caradog is doing is not entirely legal.
"Sorry, I tend to speak a lot when I loose my composure and-"
Eta took a deep breath and tried to calm down.
"Anyway, I'm looking for block Toe Pine Seven, where the purple eyed shade I'm looking for is hiding. I was told that there would be a map here, but seeing that there is no map here, I assume they meant in block Toe Pine Seven. I should had asked for clarification. I figure we just head towards the input... elevators? Is that how you call them? Head there and wait for the block to appear, like the FAQ said?"
Post by: Toaster on February 07, 2015, 09:08:48 pm
Post by: Xantalos on February 07, 2015, 10:36:33 pm
Fraction Lard the tornado!
((See what I mean? They want him to make a guardian and here comes the Lardpocalypse.))
Post by: Parisbre56 on February 07, 2015, 10:57:56 pm
((See what I mean? They want him to make a guardian and here comes the Lardpocalypse.))((It was inevitable.))
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on February 07, 2015, 11:42:20 pm
Post by: Xantalos on February 08, 2015, 12:55:27 am
((Isn't fractioning replicating lard just going to make it worse?))((Ssssssshhhhhhhh))
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on February 08, 2015, 01:59:49 am
Anyway, have fun with A: the exact same problem B: The same problem, just with two smaller tornados or C: Something absolutely horrible happening from a botched roll.
Can't see any negatives there.))
Post by: lawastooshort on February 08, 2015, 08:24:47 am
Assuming the Dunker's efforts fail, fix things by casting Potato Vortex at the Lard. If that fails, use the power of my mind to expand the portable Potato Vortex in my chest, and try to use it to suck up all the Lard. Perhaps my god will be pleased with some Lard.
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 08, 2015, 10:49:20 am
[...] "Toe Pine Seven" [...]
"Toe Pine Seven. No traffic at this hour, not filled to capacity, inhabitants are five good friends. Should be near the middle of the hallway," it points at the middle of the hallway, where blocks assigned to elevators seem to be shifting slowly and somewhat indecisively. "The inhabitants should be getting back in a little bit, so it'll move to the arriving edge, though slightly behind Flight Ghost One, Young Grass Ten and Sold Song Six."
Larry scratched his nose. There were a couple shitty years, but... "How about you give me your number and I'll think about it, okay? Anyway, you ready to be off?"
"No, no, I think I'll just find someone else to help me out. But yes, ready to be off, I suppose."
Post by: Parisbre56 on February 08, 2015, 02:05:51 pm
Post by: Pancaek on February 09, 2015, 04:52:05 am
"I think that's a wonderful idea."
Continue petting pademelon. Give it the nickname Fluffles. Then follow along with Pilton and his plan
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Xantalos on February 09, 2015, 05:05:28 am
((Now that I think about it, how much does it divide by? Can you specify or does it just always halve it.((Those tornados won't be small forever...
Anyway, have fun with A: the exact same problem B: The same problem, just with two smaller tornados or C: Something absolutely horrible happening from a botched roll.
Can't see any negatives there.))
Honestly I've been hankering to cause a food-related apocalypse for a while but I haven't gotten a donut spell yet, though I haven't done much looking. ITS TIME TO DROWN THE WORLD MUEHEHEHEHE))
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on February 09, 2015, 05:17:45 am
Also dammit Xan when have you not tried to cause an apocalypse?))
Post by: Xantalos on February 09, 2015, 05:51:50 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 09, 2015, 07:18:51 am
((Actually, quick question, where can I see all the character sheets?))
((Mine's here, thanks for reminding me to bring it further forward))
Spoiler: Benjamin, Practicing Potatoist and Wielder of the Adult Literature of Death (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on February 09, 2015, 08:29:58 am
((@Execute/Dumbo.exe: I write mine whenever I cast a spell or change my stats/skills/inventory. You can find it by searching for Thylacine Pillar.))
Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on February 09, 2015, 04:31:17 pm
Grab hold of him and jump off to Saturn. Didn't I have to jump through the lower levels first? Do that if straight there doesn't work.
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 14, 2015, 07:06:54 am
"Sorry, chap! I'll fix this!" he tells the universe, so as to not overstay his welcome so soon, and performs an arcane gesture with his hands.
[DUNKER's affinity roll: 4+1]
The tornado abruptly bowls over as its components stir even more than before - with a whine and a hiss, the lard starts to bubble, growing hot for a moment, then separating into many, many layers - the innermost one, the one THE DUNKER and his new friend Halesey seem to occupy, becomes crystalline and semi-solid. And if the slushing sound that is heard immediately afterward is any indication, something altogether more liquid has formed on the other side. The tornado stops moving, and its two occupants plummet to the ground, getting buried in an avalanche formed of the solid component of DUNKER's creation.
Halesey, supposing matters aren't quite fixed yet, tries a new accent.
"Hmm. Well."
It fails to impress the goopy mass he finds himself in. Time for a slightly different solution.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->6+1]
Elegant. Powerful. Easy to use. Of absolutely no danger to him. These are but a few of the descriptors that may adequately describe the noble potato vortex that forms right above the scene of presumable carnage that Halesey can't quite see. The fractioned lard is removed from his body expediently, cleaning up the entire area of all undesirable elements.
[THE DUNKER's body roll: 4-1-1]
THE DUNKER, who is right next to him, is also rather nicely picked off the ground, steadily getting lifted into the vortex above. His flabby arms and legs wave around in the air, seeking support and finding none. Ah, to be inexorably accelerated by the suction of alien dimensions. Halesey remembers the feeling. How long has it been since he learned to be in tune with the vortex? He stands up and waves to the large man, completely unaffected by the pull of the vortex that currently appears to be taking up a large amount of the ceiling of the rather large room. Staring into it, Halesey feels a certain peace of mind coming back to him.
* * * * *
Eta, guided by her new shady associate, walks toward the arriving edge of the hallway until the shade stops her, pointing at one of the shafts. It has Toe Pine Seven as one of its destinations, right above Teal Red Nine and Sparrow Sparrow Seventeen, whatever those are. Without delay, the shade ushers her in and follows, getting sucked upward through the connecting tube. It's an oddly nondescript sensation - one would expect this sort of thing to be more uncomfortable, really, but this is almost ethereal in how it carries her on its stream.
In no time at all, the two of them find themselves at an exit that opens immediately - walking out, Eta sees a concourse of sorts, a four-way intersection. The hallways leading in each direction are entirely bare and tubelike, with a very industrial, metallic look. The walls are brushed, unornamented brass with deep vertical grooves of unknown purpose running down them. The place looks a little grim, bathed in red light and seemingly never meant for more than simple conveyance, with only illuminated signs explaining that each hallway leads to a certain block serve to break up the bareness. Eta is about to look around, but one of the hallways shuts abruptly, and the sign pointing to it, which says Sparrow Sparrow Seventeen, suddenly flips away, leaving a blank. A soft groan of machinery is heard for a few seconds, and the sign flips again, now saying Sprint Gold One.
"Should move quickly," the shade accompanying her urges her on, and the two of them walk down the hallway to Toe Pine Seven, which stays open for a few more moments before an iris closes behind them and the hallway, slightly resembling a millipede's body on closer inspection, shifts, its rear section bending down considerably as it forms an impromptu staircase, making Eta's climb slightly more difficult and disorienting. The shade appears unbothered, and the iris they've left behind opens in due time, presumably leading to a different concourse now. Right now, though, they seem to have come to the end of the hallway - a door, or perhaps more of a hatch. It has no handle or anything similar, just a single hole. By the side of the door there is a card-based display with the number 0, complete with a slash to avoid confusion, and a button beneath said display with the word "RING" written upon it.
"Here we are. Toe Pine Seven," the lawman shade says. "Nobody home, should be here in ten to fifteen minutes, depending on route taken," it then adds in a bored voice, tapping its elongated finger against the small hole in the hatch before plunging it in. The hatch squeals as it sinks into the wall, then rolls aside, revealing a hallway beyond. "Would you like to surprise them?"
* * * * *
John, in complete agreement with Pilton's plan, gives his pet pademelon Fluffles a name and a good petting. Fluffles abruptly vanishes in response. Damn it all. Anyway, together he and Pilton reunite with Tracey and Stan, who seem to be conversing outside.
"... but you know how it is with dance majors, they're never really the sharpest tools in the shed. I thought choosing acting would put me in a more sophisticated crowd, you know what I mean?"
Stan doesn't seem to have a very good idea of what she means, and seems to be nodding along passively.
"But do I even need a college degree, is what I'm wondering? I think the whole thing's a scam, personally, especially the humanities, which-" Tracey continues, but then notices the two men return. "Hey! You're back! Was it nice? Tell me it was nice. I couldn't bear the idea of missing out on something lame."
"It was the sweetest thing ever. Now, Stan, you can go now. We don't have much need of you now," Pilton says levelly.
Stan's lips say "Very well, sir," with slight resignation, but his eyes are deeply thankful.
"But we were just getting to know one another!" Tracey pouts.
Stan bows obsequiously and quickly vacates the area, not eager for more conversation. The three remaining wizards watch as he half-jogs away
"Uh, so, what do we do now?"
"We split up and look for magical creatures that may or may not increase our power. They shouldn't be difficult to find when one's alone and vulnerable," Pilton explains.
"But that sounds dangerous! Can't I tag along with one of you?"
"Think of it as a learning experience. In danger," Pilton says, and Tracey gives you a doe-eyed look of concern.
* * * * *
Larry, having wasted quite enough time, grabs Tom and jumps once! The scenery changes to a vast gray desert, with distant ruined marble buildings giving evidence of the recent demonic rampage taking place here. The Moon. Beautiful in its destroyed state, but ever-dull.
He jumps again, Tom still in hand. The sun-blasted gray wastes of Mercury surround him now, with half-finished monuments and entrances to subterranean abysses dotting the landscape. A testament to enduring ambition.
Another jump. The air grows thick and laden with carbon dioxide, though the choking, sterilizing effect of the environment is lost on Larry and, seemingly by extension or perhaps by an alternative effect, on Tom as well. Coupled souls leave great flaming streaks in the sky as they pass.
Then there's the Sun. Even more beautiful. The entire star is one luminous network of advancing thought, exceptional minds joining in communal creative endeavor under the guidance of fun-loving angels. Alien thoughts start to seep into Larry's mind. Whatever they're thinking about up here, it's clearly slightly beyond his current concerns. He jumps again.
Jupiter. Many moons, asteroids and even artificial platforms orbiting a great stormy gas giant, each under the dominion of a great administrator and their cadre of helpers. A political structure simultaneously looser and far more complex than that of Earth's, and webs of policy that Larry can only begin to contemplate. He jumps for the last time.
And here he is on Saturn. The home of the contemplatives, with retreats placed in virtually every corner of the sphere of influence of the immense gas giant, providing solitude matched only by the deep space among the Fixed Stars. The Oldthinker's home proves simple to find, like a beacon in a vast emptiness, and in not too long at all he and Tom stand out by the door of the floating house. He doesn't even need to knock, as the door is opened immediately by the Oldthinker himself.
"Right on time. I knew I felt thomething in the air. Come. Let uth partake of thome good thtuff before we begin, my athothiates," he lisps toothlessly, backing away into his living room with a smooth gait, his arms open in welcome.
"Is this the guy?" asks Tom. "Scratch that, is the stuff any good?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on February 14, 2015, 08:06:55 am
"So these are your friends? Do you know them well?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 14, 2015, 08:09:25 am
"Sure. Surprise is nice. Unless the one I seek is already in there."
"So these are your friends? Do you know them well?"
"No. They are probably miscreants. Why else would you be looking for them?"
The shade gestures toward the opening.
"After you."
Post by: Xantalos on February 14, 2015, 09:49:29 am
Repeatedly summon platoons of Foreign Pork Queens to such a massive extent that they clog up the portal with their bodies. If they happen to accidentally crush this other grey guy by sheer weight of numbers I'm not complaining.
Post by: Parisbre56 on February 14, 2015, 10:10:00 am
Take a look around to ensure there are no security devices, magical runes, trapdoors or other dangerous things in there. These are criminals we're talking about, after all. If all is fine, enter.
"I suppose, although I haven't seen any miscreants in hell yet. Everything here looks so ordered I'm surprised they could find a way to break the law."
"Anyway, I was more interested in knowing if you could identify them."
Post by: lawastooshort on February 14, 2015, 03:55:39 pm
"So uh, hey there. What you doing up there dude? I could totally get you down. Perhaps."
If the Dunker so desires, attempt to reverse the flow of the vortex with my mind.
Post by: Xantalos on February 14, 2015, 04:03:08 pm
...
Have you met the people upstairs? We might like to recruit you.
Post by: Pancaek on February 14, 2015, 09:37:01 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on February 15, 2015, 01:42:28 am
"Er, the people upstairs? I don't know."
Halesey wondered if the people upstairs were still upstairs, or were being initiated into the realm of the potato right now. That was a pretty large vortex. It made him quite happy to behold such a thing.
Post by: Xantalos on February 15, 2015, 01:57:16 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 15, 2015, 04:26:41 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 15, 2015, 04:40:05 am
He wondered about the folks upstairs. He wondered if he'd already sufficiently demonstrated his... rearranging skills. He wondered if they were hostile, or potential believers in the One True Only Worthwhile and Demonstrable Faith. He still needed one more disciple to show his commitment. The thought nagged him in every waking and sleeping moment.
Post by: Xantalos on February 15, 2015, 04:48:43 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 15, 2015, 05:41:08 am
Post by: Xantalos on February 15, 2015, 05:44:36 am
Post by: Toaster on February 15, 2015, 09:50:50 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 21, 2015, 02:50:28 pm
[Finesse (DUNKER, Halesey): 6-->3-1, 1-->6+1]
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 3+1]
The large man's first move is unproductive, as the amount of pork queens summoned - about 15 or so - is plainly insufficient to plug up a vortex the size of about a third of a factory floor's entire ceiling. They disappear with such quickness, it occurs to the man that maybe plugging a hole that large with something as small as people may just be an impractical thing to attempt. If it can even be plugged in the first place with all that gravity working on it.
Halesey, looking thoughtful and appreciative of his vortex's handy putdown of this uninitiated fellow's talents, supposes that the point has been made adequately, and attempts to dismiss it. The vortex shrinks to a much more manageable size immediately, though does not disappear entirely. THE DUNKER, in response, plummets to the ground and flops on the floor ignobly. A dramatic setup, but a quick resolution, Halesey thinks as he stares up at the vortex he has just reined in. It seems to have lost a certain majesty in the process of being restricted, as if it were a great caged beast or an incarcerated nude arsonist.
* * * * *
Eta, not sure if miscreant quarters in hell count as a dungeon, errs on the side of caution and checks for traps. First obvious trap already eliminated - no rigged shotgun in the hatchway.
"I suppose, although I haven't seen any miscreants in hell yet. Everything here looks so ordered I'm surprised they could find a way to break the law," she says to her companion shade as she runs her fingers over the hatchframe carefully, scanning for any holes that shoot poison darts. There don't seem to be any, which is good news.
"There are a few bugs in the legal code that take a little time to resolve. Soon we should be able to bring in collaborator groups as well as the exact perpetrator," the shade explains. Eta notices a conspicuous lack of visible trap doors in the hallway, and wonders if that is perhaps the entire point.
"Anyway, I was more interested in knowing if you could identify them," she asks, not seeing any magical runes written anywhere. Would that be vandalism, perhaps? Maybe they write them every time they get home, but someone cleans them off every time.
"No. The visual interchangeability of shades is not just a cultural barrier you have failed to cross. They are actually interchangeable visually. Shades of purple in their eyes may help identification, but this is a minute and subjective difference dependent on lighting," the shade replies, and Eta takes a careful step inside, noting the failure of anything dangerous to happen to her.
"Note that these are not hardened criminals. Merely desperate debtors," the shade points out. "They should be here in five to ten minutes."
Time sure flies when one is checking for traps, Eta supposes as she and the shade walk inside. The block itself is similar to the hallway that led them here, but without the grooves this time. Probably because it doesn't seem like it's about to twist around to accommodate some form of optimal arrival arrangement. Guess they don't micromanage it that much.
In block Toe Pine Seven there are six different hatches, three on each side of the hall, and each appears to have one of those card-based signs on them - each conspicuously blank except for one particular one that says "UNOCCUPIED". Hm. The shade with her also hms, but in a slightly more disapproving fashion. It's almost a hrm, in fact.
* * * * *
John, seeing Tracey's look, tries to come up with an excuse.
"Wouldn't you say that, yes, an accomplished wizard walking by himself would seem vulnerable. But two newbies like ourselves, seemingly desperately staying together for together, would look even weaker, yes? And attract more strange creatures? I think me and Tracey should stick together, to give the semblance of extra weakness," he says. Pilton tilts his head in response.
"Yeah! What he said!" Tracey adds.
"First off, you're not a newbie wizard, John, just so you know. That ship sailed off a while ago. And Tracey, being part of a pair makes you less approachable than if you're alone. So no, you guys each have to go off alone. Them's the rules. And if you get in trouble, just give one of us a call or something."
He shrugs.
"Besides, more wizards in one place just means more trouble in my experience, so you're actually safer when you're alone."
Tracey pouts, looking at John, then back at Pilton.
"But how do I know what to do? Nobody's told me anything!"
"I'm sure one of the supernatural creatures will be all to happy to talk your ear off. Now, let's each vamoose in a different direction and reunite later. Let's meet at Leonard's at about six in the evening. Sound good?"
"Who's Leonard person? Is he like your other Stan or something? Did you talk about him in the house? I wasn't there!" Tracey says, her voice stressed.
"The bistro!" Pilton shakes his head. "You know, where you met us?"
Tracey purses her lips and nods with wide eyes.
"Now then, we agreed?"
* * * * *
Larry, like any proper middleman, starts the meeting off by making introductions.
"Tom, meet the Oldthinker. Oldthinker, this is Tom. And yeah, if it's anything like what he had last time, it's pretty stout shit. Let's go in," he immediately segues into business.
"Stout shit sounds good to me," Tom says, heading in without waiting for Larry to take the first step.
"Thtout thtuff indeed awaitth you," the Oldthinker says as the men pass him. "I have prepared my thtrongest brew for thith meeting," he then adds, and hurries off to the kitchen.
The living room looks neater than before. The mags Larry spewed here last time as well as the hats he summoned have been taken away, although the Oldthinker's still wearing the park ranger hat. In the middle of the room, lying spread-eagle on the rug above the hole in the floor and staring at the ceiling, is Phinny. She makes no motion of acknowledgement at the two arrivals. Her eyes are wide open, and they are a solid black, glowing with a deep darkness.
"Make yerthelveth at home," Oldthinker croaks from the kitchen. "Be right out with the thtuff! And don't mind Phinny! She'th been like that a while, and she'th completely okay!"
"Ooh, is the shit really that stout, then?" Tom asks, poking at Phinny with his foot. The metallic angel makes no move to react.
Post by: Parisbre56 on February 21, 2015, 10:33:18 pm
"So... Are those door locks? What does it mean?" Eta asked, using her head to indicate the door card thing saying "UNOCCUPIED".
Post by: lawastooshort on February 22, 2015, 02:07:54 am
((nice touch at the end))
Post by: Xantalos on February 22, 2015, 02:10:43 am
((I am not get reference.))
Post by: lawastooshort on February 22, 2015, 04:27:25 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on February 22, 2015, 04:31:41 am
Great. More laws. I have a feeling this place will end up more boring than a paint drying convention.
"So... Are those door locks? What does it mean?" Eta asked, using her head to indicate the door card thing saying "UNOCCUPIED".
"They probably lock their doors. Some may have forgotten. It does not matter, since I can open them anyway if you want."
The shade walks over to one of the blank hatches and sticks its spidery finger into the finger-hole, as you call it due to having no idea what the actual term for it is. It rolls aside to reveal... a closet. Or at least that's what it looks like. It's about half as large as a studio apartment, and appropriately has about half the furniture - a sarcophagus and a fold-out desk and chair combination. And also a screen on the wall.
"The unoccupied room has no tenants. The inhabitants presumably saw no need to correct this impression."
You also notice that the far right hatch is open a crack, and probably not closed at all.
Post by: Xantalos on February 22, 2015, 04:34:58 am
((Halesly was grey, wasn't he?))
Post by: lawastooshort on February 22, 2015, 07:34:00 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on February 22, 2015, 08:58:44 am
"Wait, you said there were 5 shades living here. So the unoccupied room should be empty, correct? In fact, since it is early, every room should be empty right now, correct?"
Casually walk past the half open far right hatch. Then quickly open it, intent on surprising anybody inside.
I wonder what the screen is for. Hell TV? Big brother watching them? Announcements and info? Hell Internet?
Post by: Xantalos on February 22, 2015, 02:49:30 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on February 22, 2015, 04:56:10 pm
Go upstairs.
Post by: Pancaek on February 23, 2015, 06:29:45 am
Make sure Tracey has my number and offer some encouraging words. Then set off in a random direction.
Post by: Xantalos on February 23, 2015, 06:32:33 am
Post by: lawastooshort on February 23, 2015, 08:17:48 am
Post by: Toaster on February 23, 2015, 10:25:11 am
Make self at home.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 06, 2015, 04:27:56 pm
"Wait, you said there were 5 shades living here. So the unoccupied room should be empty, correct? In fact, since it is early, every room should be empty right now, correct?" she says as she examines the ominous sarcophagus, waiting for it to open and a lumbering long-dead king to step out, arms outstretched and bandages dragging behind him.
"Correct," says the shade. Eta steps away from the room and takes a walk along the hallway, which itself is about eight meters in length. "I do not see why these shades need rooms of their own. Pods would be much more efficient. Less space wasted."
Eta says nothing in reply to this sterling insight and walks six or so steps to the end of the hallway, pressing up to the far wall, then turning around and opening it sharply! A wild "aha!" would be perfectly appropriate, but Eta restrains herself. This is Hell, after all. Restraint is the norm.
Inside, there is an identical room to the one she examined moments ago, though the sarcophagus looks a tad grubbier and the desk is folded out. There's some form of paper on it. In fact, it does seem to be a form. Probably tedious, this being Hell and all, but perhaps informative as well. A closer look tells Eta that it seems to be unfilled apart from the name and occupation slot, the contents of both of which are crossed out - not very well, as it's still quite apparent that the name in question is Gef Rachin or some variation of that, and that the occupation is Executive Chief Harmony Officer.
* * * * *
With the crisis averted and the origin of Halesey's new Scouser accent elaborated upon, THE DUNKER feels safe in heading up to the top floor. Halesey follows, naturally, although with a determined expression that may or may not evoke presidential assassins of old. Halesey thinks hard on the idea of the potato and the vortex, readying himself for the indiscriminate application of divine glory and the harnessing of great and powerful tubery secrets to make the world bow to... he can't think of an epithet. And by the time he does, the prepositional object evades him entirely. Soon enough he can barely even remember what he was thinking about.
"Is that...?"
Is what? Who? Halesey jumps, startled.
"It is!"
Is it? Huh? Halesey looks around and sees the Arch-Magus, still as corpulent and largely useless as he left him. And Jo, who looks pretty decent. And a lawyer lady. Plus this weird-looking guy he doesn't like the look of. Seems like there's a troupe of them here.
"Who is he? Another of your ilk?" the weird guy with a shiny dome and spidery fingers sneers.
"Is he ever! I thought you were dead, dude!" says the guy, walking up to Halesey in a friendly fashion. "Got the money, maybe? Probably not, but hey, a man's gotta dream. You look different, dude. Magic's changed ya, huh? Happens, right?"
* * * * *
John, dissatisfied but not about to fight about the issue, offers Tracey some advice.
"Looks like we're splitting up. You've got my number right? Call when something bad happens. And, uh, I'm not exactly sure how this works myself to be honest. Don't make any shifty deals, be polite and try not to get eaten, I guess? You can always go back to the bistro early if you get unsure," he says with not so much as an ounce of a reassuring tone. Tracey gulps.
"Yeah, I've got your number. And I... I'll try, yeah," she says, then looks away. "Good luck," she adds meekly, and starts to walk off with a burst of resoluteness, though that font of emotion peters out rather quickly, and she defaults to a bit of a slouch.
"She'll do great. I can feel the potential!" Pilton says, and John's not sure if he's being sarcastic. He's not about to find out, either, as he sets off in a random direction. In this case, toward the forest outside of town. That ought to make for exciting adventure.
Two hours later, he finds himself utterly lost. Damn woods, looking so enticing at the very first moment.
Another hour passes, and by now John just tries to brute-force the issue, trudging through the woods at a steady pace and refusing to stop or turn. Unexpectedly, this proves somewhat rewarding, as in no time at all John finds himself out in front of a gas station. It's abandoned, and the road leading past it is in very poor repair, but it's definitely a start! Plus, there's an old man out front, decrepit and bent, with a long white beard and a walking stick that seems to have been crudely fashioned from a tree branch. Very unfashionably dressed, too. Must be at least eighty years old - he's got that shrunken, withered look.
* * * * *
Larry maintains an atmosphere of enthusiasm - it is important to make the weird outsider guy feel welcome in this dinghy den of divine narcotics.
"The last batch was pretty crazy. Looks like this is even better. Worth the trip, eh?" he says, sitting down next to Phinny and relaxing. Tom does the same, though with reservations.
"Comas don't sound fun, to be honest. But hey - trusting you here, man. This shit better be the craziest," says Tom, looking suspicious.
"I SEE" Phinny slowly hisses out, blinking exactly once really slowly, then exhaling. Then she goes entirely quiet and still again.
"Huh. Well, I do see your point. But-" he begins, but is interrupted when suddenly a thing appears in the corner. It looks... well, hellish. A tall, broad humanoid, wearing only a pair of beltless, slightly slipping jeans and some flip flops. Its flesh appears to be made of people - densely-packed, feverish-looking individuals with dark eyes and grubby, tattooed skin, many faces grinning with mouths full of black teeth. Thick arms outstretched as wide as possible, the creature presents itself.
"MHC in the house!" it bellows, then turns its head (three heads, really, but awkwardly molded together into one as if the flesh were putty) to something standing behind it - a young, well-dressed woman with glasses and a deeply worried look on her face. "This is the Oldthinker's house. He's got some good shit in here! The best I've ever had, that's for sure. Look!" it points at Phinny. "I'm talking shit of the 'change-your-life' variety, get it? Once you do his shit, I'll guarantee you ain't ever gonna wanna go back to anything else."
"Did not invite you!" the Oldthinker remarks snippily from the kitchen.
"Came anyway! Think I can't smell what you're cooking a trillion miles away, old man? Make sure to get some for me and Mrs. Lady over here!"[glow] the creature, who you presume to be MHC from the introduction, shouts back, then looks at Larry and Tom on the ground. "And who are you two fiiiiine gentlemen?" it draws out, and you suspect no small amount of mockery. "Old man's been holding out on me! I do other shit for a week and he's already got a whole new circle of friends! Can you believe that?" it, or rather he, judging from the voice, continues to speak as he's sitting down right next to Tom. The woman in the meantime carefully walks over to Larry and sits down as well after brushing some dust off the ground.
"I'm... hello, I'm-" she begins, but MHC cuts her off. "She doesn't talk much, I'll tell you what! But I like her anyway! Her name's, like, I forget, but I call her Mrs. Lady. Picked her up off the street - she's a treasure, that's what she is!"
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on March 06, 2015, 04:38:40 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 06, 2015, 04:57:03 pm
"Sup, MHC?" Larry put up a hand in the high five position. "I'm Larry and this is my buddy Tom. Pretty chill place, am I right?"
"Damn straight! Chillest place on Saturn!" MHC returns your high five. Your hand, while completely dry afterward, feels slightly slimy. "Venus might have better tail, but ain't no place as cool as this - take it from someone from the Fixed Stars."
"Fixed St-?" Mrs. Lady begins, but the results are predictable.
"Oldthinker! Where's the stuff? I'm dyin' here!" MHC bellows.
"In a minute!"
"Anyway! Larry! Other guy! Have we been coming in on alternate weeks or something, or are you two really newbies at Casa du Oldthinker? That'd be fuckin' priceless."
Post by: Toaster on March 06, 2015, 05:01:26 pm
Post by: Pancaek on March 06, 2015, 05:18:17 pm
"Hello there. Might you tell you where I am? I'm afraid I'm rather lost"
Post by: Xantalos on March 06, 2015, 05:38:24 pm
The DUNKER doesn't mention the mess downstairs.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 06, 2015, 05:46:40 pm
"Straight up new, man. This is my second trip and Tom's first."
"Goddamn! Then this is gonna be awesome. You know what he's making?" MHC sniffs the air with all of his many noses. "He's making the-"
The Oldthinker appears in the kitchen doorway, and MHC gives him a greedy look. In the man's hands is a rather large plate filled with what look like little discs of glass, about thirty in total. As he steps over, a distinctly unnatural petrochemical smell fills the room. He ceremoniously strides over and places the entire plate on Phinny's stomach.
"Done! Now, help yourthelveth," he says, then takes an experimental step back. "I'll be taking mine latht."
"I'll take second to last - you three take however many you like!" MHC agrees.
"What are-"
"Pro-tip: three each is what newbies usually take."
Ho ho, jackpot. John walks up to the man, trying to give him a friendly smile
"Hello there. Might you tell you where I am? I'm afraid I'm rather lost"
"Nonsense, young man..." the old man says, smiling mysteriously. "You've come... to the right place."
I found this guy popping out of a portal to some kind of potato dimension and thought he might be useful. Do you know him already?
The DUNKER doesn't mention the mess downstairs.
"Shyeah. First guy I gave magic to!"
"He got rid of the previous wizard who lived here, too."
"So he's cool, yeah."
Post by: Xantalos on March 06, 2015, 05:52:40 pm
Post by: Pancaek on March 06, 2015, 05:53:37 pm
Post by: Toaster on March 06, 2015, 06:07:19 pm
He looked at Tom a bit expectantly.
Post by: lawastooshort on March 07, 2015, 02:50:47 am
And then more generally, to all present.
"Is anyone here interested in obtaining ultimate potato-based godly power? I come from afar to ask you this, as a direct representative of god. And unrelated, but would anyone like to challenge themselves with the ultimate Test of Mortality?"
Post by: Xantalos on March 07, 2015, 02:55:40 am
Post by: lawastooshort on March 07, 2015, 03:04:56 am
Post by: Xantalos on March 07, 2015, 03:11:10 am
Post by: lawastooshort on March 07, 2015, 03:21:31 am
Post by: Xantalos on March 07, 2015, 03:27:34 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 07, 2015, 04:38:56 am
"Well good, that's settled then. So what do we do now?"
"Keep trying to figure out ways to make the first floor uninhabitable, dude. That's priority one."
"I...see. And this rigth place is what, exactly? And why is it the right one?"
The old man raises a finger and shushes you.
"Shh... now is not the time for questions, young man. Go inside and get the briefcase... I'll explain everything then. Do not open it..."
Larry looks at the discs a bit confused. "Well, I'd grab some, but I'm not sure what to do with them."
He looked at Tom a bit expectantly.
Tom appears to have absolutely no clue. He also looks vaguely irritated.
"You put them in your fuckin' mouth, genius! I thought you'd done this before!" MHC says, several of his mouths laughing as he does. Oldthinker gives him a glare.
"Are they-"
"Cast your fears away! Fight the ocean and you will drown, my man!"
"Well... Yes. Changed. Quite. It appears you are asembling a new... Flock, or something, Arch-Magus. How is your ley line manipulation going?"
"Not so great. Zombie strippers aren't good guards. But I'm thinking magic oughta be good enough if we wanna make this place as dangerous to travelers as possible. Danger scales up the reward, is the guiding principle here."
"Is anyone here interested in obtaining ultimate potato-based godly power? I come from afar to ask you this, as a direct representative of god. And unrelated, but would anyone like to challenge themselves with the ultimate Test of Mortality?"
"You are a direct representative of God?" the weird guy says incredulously. "I doubt the veracity of your claim, profligate!"
"Don't start that again," the lawyer lady says, putting her hand on his shoulder firmly. The man twists his head at her, looking very defensive.
"What's this about ultimate power?"
"Sounds a little, um, shady, dude. Can you, like, tell us more?" the Jesus-looking guy, thus far unobtrusive, speaks up.
Post by: Xantalos on March 07, 2015, 04:42:59 am
And also the surrounding buildings.
Plus the first floor's almost entirely coated with lard right now.
The vampire didn't work out."
Post by: lawastooshort on March 07, 2015, 05:13:00 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 07, 2015, 05:19:24 am
"I have an apocalyptic spell at my beck and call, I think we'll be able to ward off any intruders.
And also the surrounding buildings.
Plus the first floor's almost entirely coated with lard right now.
The vampire didn't work out."
"No, see, the leyline gets more valuable the harder it is to get to. We need to turn this place into a real dungeon if we wanna get an extra bit o' juice from it. I originally thought we could just remodel the place to optimize the energy flows, but that'd take freakin' weeks. Instead we're makin' a dungeon."
"Which of you wishes to gaze upon a document that shall strongly support my Righteous Claim? Which of you dares to do so? God wishes i tqke one follower, and one doubter. And also, yes, I am capable of rendering the first floor uninhabitable. More uninhabitable."
"Show me! Show me this document!" the weird guy says, and you perceive a tone of defiance.
"Guys, take it outside. Seriously," Jo says.
Post by: lawastooshort on March 07, 2015, 05:23:45 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 07, 2015, 05:26:03 am
"I can show you, just as God has shown me you Doubt. Here or outside, what do you wish?"
"Outside, guys. Definitely outside," Jo says. Must be all that talk of ultimate tests of mortality riling her up.
"Outside," the guy nods slowly and grudgingly.
Post by: Xantalos on March 07, 2015, 05:30:24 am
Eat a donut!
Post by: Xantalos on March 07, 2015, 05:31:25 am
Eat a donut! Focus on spells with the effect 'self-replicating'.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 07, 2015, 05:32:21 am
"...that's a pretty cool way of powering it up there. Hmm. Allow me to consult my magical thingy guy. I wonder if it's recovered yet.
Eat a donut! Focus on spells with the effect 'self-replicating'.
Self-replicating is an adjective, or a descriptor. Can't take those yet, sorry!
Post by: Xantalos on March 07, 2015, 05:33:53 am
Just regular donut consulting then, please.
Post by: lawastooshort on March 07, 2015, 05:34:21 am
Go outside with the Doubter and reveal unto him the Gentleman's Literature, and specifically the Centrefold of Pornographic Evaporation, taking especial care, of course, not to see it myself.
Post by: Pancaek on March 07, 2015, 06:27:30 am
Shrug, go inside and grab briefcase, then go back to the old man.
Post by: Toaster on March 07, 2015, 10:07:59 pm
Larry shrugged. "Not this brew, man. Here." Larry grabbed three in each hand, handing one stack to Tom, then proceeded to eat his three.
Om nom nom
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on March 08, 2015, 04:36:30 am
The DUNKER sighs in either sudden melancholy or minor gastric distress in the galactic environment that is his gut.((Dungeon Keeper: The F**ks With All The Lard edition.))
Just regular donut consulting then, please.
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 08, 2015, 07:13:56 pm
Let's not give them any help in making this place even more depressing. I'm certain they can figure it out on their own.
Eta took a closer look at the form.
Hm. This may be the room I'm looking for. Not the name I'm looking for on that form, but why would someone cross their name out? Could they change their name?
"I suppose this room belongs to Gef Rechin then? Do you know?" Eta asked the shadow.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 09, 2015, 11:20:54 am
Eta almost replied 'You could have the pods at the workspace to save time commuting.' but then reconsidered.
Let's not give them any help in making this place even more depressing. I'm certain they can figure it out on their own.
Eta took a closer look at the form.
Hm. This may be the room I'm looking for. Not the name I'm looking for on that form, but why would someone cross their name out? Could they change their name?
"I suppose this room belongs to Gef Rechin then? Do you know?" Eta asked the shadow.
"It is possible. Likely, even," the shadow says. "Unless this is a wild attempt at subterfuge. Not impossible."
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 09, 2015, 01:33:13 pm
Number 1, can you open all the doors for me? I want to check inside.
Number 2, can anyone open the doors here?
If yes, how, simply stick their finger in that hole?
If not, then how does that work? Can whoever uses the lock set it up however they want?
Number 3, do you know the names of the shades that were supposed to be living here?
Number 4, is there any way to see what's outside the door from inside the appartment? Something like a door viewer or a keyhole or just a seam in the door?
Failing that, could we leave the door open just a crack and look through it?
Number 5, I'm thinking of hiding in the unoccupied apartment and checking whether or not an apartment ends up with two shades. That will probably be the one I'm looking for. Do you think we can do that?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 09, 2015, 01:41:15 pm
"Hm... Okay, I think I have an idea about what to do. Just a few questions.
Number 1, can you open all the doors for me? I want to check inside.
Number 2, can anyone open the doors here?
If yes, how, simply stick their finger in that hole?
If not, then how does that work? Can whoever uses the lock set it up however they want?
Number 3, do you know the names of the shades that were supposed to be living here?
Number 4, is there any way to see what's outside the door from inside the appartment? Something like a door viewer or a keyhole or just a seam in the door?
Failing that, could we leave the door open just a crack and look through it?
Number 5, I'm thinking of hiding in the unoccupied apartment and checking whether or not an apartment ends up with two shades. That will probably be the one I'm looking for. Do you think we can do that?"
The shade looks at you, failing to get a word in edgewise.
"I can open any door, the occupants I am not sure about. You definitely cannot open a door. And whoever lives here is about to be here momentarily," it says after a moment. "Do you want to futilely pretend like you are not here, or would you prefer to go about your business without minding the arriving ingrates?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 09, 2015, 02:23:05 pm
Do we at least have enough time to put everything back the way it was?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 09, 2015, 02:33:15 pm
"If you say there's no way to hide in the unoccupied room, then we might as well wait here and see what happens. I'll figure something out.
Do we at least have enough time to put everything back the way it was?"
"You can hide, and I am sure you would be successful. I just do not see the point in it. And the more we speak, the less time you have."
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 09, 2015, 03:28:25 pm
Assuming it does not object, direct the shade to help me so that I can get things back the way they were and then hide in the unoccupied room with it. Observe the corridor while hiding if there is any way to do so.
If I hear the corridor changing position to allow access to the rooms again or someone approaching or the shade says we're out of time, drop what I'm doing and attempt to hide immediately.
If it doesn't look like I have enough time to hide, then simply stand there and be cool, trying to look like I was just sitting there talking to the shade.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 10, 2015, 04:06:22 pm
[THE DUNKER's mind roll: 1-->6+1]
But as it happens with maladies of the stomach or the mind, even a donut seems capable of little other than making it seem a little less important for a few moments. THE DUNKER emerges from the experience feeling less rich than before, lacking one more donut in addition to the general lack of insight and purpose. When will the Donut God reveal itself to him? Has he not been sufficiently voracious? Has his gluttony gone unnoticed? Or does it know to fear his hunger already, and refuses entry on these grounds?
"Oh! That reminds me," the fat guy says, and draws from a particularly full pocket of his a binder that he opens up, taking a look inside.
Meanwhile, Halesey dourly rises to Hungry Pete's challenge, leading the devout wizard down the entire four floors, straight out of the building past the potato vortex in the ceiling (the sight of which provokes a slight sound from the man). Once there, they stare each other down, Hungry Pete's eyes defiant, Halesey's - resolute. With a swipe of his hand, Halesey produces the Document, as one might call it. Hungry Pete is perplexed.
"Your document is a magazine?" he says with incredulity. Halesey says nothing. "It looks... unclean," the man ventures to add, and it is at this moment that Halesey unleashes the power of the centerfold, opening it up for Hungry Pete to gaze upon in all its glory, averting his own eyes in the process.
Hungry Pete, shockingly, does not combust. Not entirely. He does catch fire, ash starting to billow from his clothes, bits of his flesh sizzling like bacon. His eyes are shut rather tightly. He is screaming in pain, though not entirely incoherently - Halesey perceives something there, a chant of some kind. The man's voice, upon reaching a fever pitch, quickly cuts out after he passes out from the pain.
* * * * *
John does not argue with the old man and his mysterious request, and walks into the desolate interior of the gas station. It seems like this place hasn't been open for a long time, that is to say about a month, which in gas station years is probably a lot. The shelves are empty, and the place smells awful. It probably smelled awful to begin with. A bathroom door has been left open a crack, and on the counter lies a briefcase, stood up, much cleaner than the rest of the room, though still quite ratty and worn. Grabbing it, John returns outside to the man.
"Ah, good... you've got it," says the old man. "Now."
From his pocket he quickly produces a set of handcuffs, which he then moves closer to John's hand. John reflexively draws it back.
"It needs... to be cuffed to your hand, you see?" the old man explains, jangling the handcuffs a little and chuckling. "Otherwise it doesn't work..."
* * * * *
Larry, thinking nothing of it, takes three of the glass discs in h-
-is burning. The Oldthinker's house is burning, and smoke fills Larry's lungs as he sits, cross-legged and seemingly paralyzed until now, judging by the stiffness of his limbs, atop the rug in the center of the room. He does not feel like he is dying. Next to him, still kneeling, is Mrs. Lady, who MHC brought, the lenses of her glasses glowing a bright green, her hair prickling up at the static electricity in the room. Her head is swinging from side to side slowly. Distant bells can be heard amidst the crackling of flame. The others are gone, save for one unfamiliar man. His head reminds Larry of a burning candle wick, a flame burning around a small black core, the rest of his body obscured by a black robe. From behind it colored smoke slowly rises, its tones clearly discernible despite the dim firelight of the room.
"Hey, uh," says the robed man in a strange voice. He doesn't appear to have any more impressive words for Larry. Mrs. Lady looks at the man and tilts her head.
* * * * *
Eta springs into covert action, first by erasing any signs of her presence. This involves closing two doors that are six meters apart (making sure to leave the further one open a crack) so that's easily done. And then, for her next trick, she has the shade quickly open the unoccupied room and hide inside, closing the door behind her to avert suspicion as much as possible, though this robs her of a good vantage point on the corridor itself.
Thanks to the rather small size of the place, this entire maneuver takes no more than about thirty seconds, which is fortunately plenty of time to avoid the returning occupants of the area. However, as Eta quickly finds out, the inside of these rooms is very clearly soundproof, seeing how she can't hear a single thing from outside once the door is closed. The room itself looks much the same as the other ones - same ensemble of sarcophagus, desk-and-chair, screen.
"I am not sure of the element of surprise here. Optimally we would have gone out and caught them as they were entering together, before they'd had a chance to scramble. Catch them with a quick question while they are off-guard."
Hindsight can often be easily confused with useful advice, as a side note, especially by the one giving it.
Post by: Toaster on March 10, 2015, 04:07:26 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 10, 2015, 04:13:40 pm
"...sup?"
"Yeah," says the man. "Sup to you too, uh, guy. So, well... you got anything? I dunno."
Post by: Pancaek on March 10, 2015, 04:29:04 pm
John sighs, and holds out his hand for the old man to cuff him to the briefcase
Post by: Xantalos on March 10, 2015, 05:33:22 pm
Post by: Toaster on March 10, 2015, 06:10:14 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 11, 2015, 01:07:25 am
Whilst the man is unconscious, cast Potato Vortex on his body until he is transported to the Potato Realm. Then follow him. Poke him with my foot a bit if necessary to wake him.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 11, 2015, 02:42:37 am
"You're actually a demon of some sort working with the CIA and this is some sort of honeypot operation, knowing my luck. But, mam always said not to question my elders."
John sighs, and holds out his hand for the old man to cuff him to the briefcase
He quickly cuffs you to the briefcase. The cuffs getting locked sends a shiver along your spine.
"Now... don't open the case... and get over to Charlie in Greenblatt Park... and keep a low profile, eh?"
"I dunno. You know the Oldthinker?"
"Who's that?"
Post by: Toaster on March 11, 2015, 07:59:52 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 11, 2015, 08:09:06 am
"He's old, and does a lot of thinking? Guess not. Where are we?"
"Uh, some kind of mindscape. Or maybe just the universe, but, well... remixed. Haven't explored much yet."
The man scratches his flame thoughtfully.
"Gotta say, I was expecting a hallucination would be more, how to put this... knowledgeable? You're not even trying to be cryptic."
Post by: Toaster on March 11, 2015, 08:10:44 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 11, 2015, 08:43:39 am
"Gee, sorry bro, sorry I couldn't live up to your expectations. Larry rolled his eyes. "Could ask that chick. HEY! You with us?" Larry snapped his fingers in front of the presumed Mrs. Lady.
Your motion seems to snap her out of some kind of trance.
"Of course I'm with you!" says Mrs. Lady, shaking her head. "I just got... distracted is all. There's a pretty-looking... flame... over there..." she then starts to trail off, looking into the distance behind you, her head starting to swing from side to side again.
"I don't think she knows either," says the guy. "But maybe that's just this, uh, trip telling me to explore."
"Flame... pretty flame..." Mrs. Lady continues to mutter to herself.
Post by: Toaster on March 11, 2015, 08:50:38 am
Bury face in the binder again. Let's hit up some sweet, sweet, magic.
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 11, 2015, 08:59:30 am
Larry shrugged. "Well, last time I took a trip I studied magic, and it got all wacky. Might as well try it again!"
Bury face in the binder again. Let's hit up some sweet, sweet, magic.
You don't seem to have the binder on you. You also appear to be entirely naked. Odd. Mrs. Lady still appears mostly as she did, you note.
"Oh, you're a wizard too?" the wick-headed guy says. "That's, uh, nice, I guess. I don't think your, er, handler can reach you here, though. Things might be... a little screwy. They usually are, truth be told. Don't know when they haven't been. Say, uh, guy. Wanna see a cool trick? You're gonna have to tell me your name for it, though."
Post by: Toaster on March 11, 2015, 09:04:10 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 11, 2015, 09:10:03 am
Larry shrugged. "Larry."
"Larry. That's... appropriate!"
Your head starts to softly throb, and you rub your temples to ease the feeling.
"Uh... didn't work. Got another one? Doesn't have to be yours. Maybe a buddy or something."
Post by: Toaster on March 11, 2015, 09:17:47 am
Post by: Pancaek on March 11, 2015, 09:19:12 am
Go meet Charlie in Greenblatt park. Act casual.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 11, 2015, 09:49:28 am
"Another... name? Larry Malone's the full thing. Or you could try Cal. Or do Halesey- kinda wondering what he's up to.
"Larry... Malone... hm. I'm feeling that one, yeah. And specific, too, uh... not sure if that's a good thing? Best not to think too much, my ma always said..."
[Mind roll: 5+1]
You blink, and suddenly everything's gone. There's only you. One, two, three... four of you. Each is you. One of you steps back into you, and you flash with a golden light. A second one follows, and you bathe the void in radiance. A third cannonballs into you from above, and then you splash, spill everywhere, collapsing into a cloud of you that disperses, growing thinner, ever thinner...
You blink. The wick-headed man stands before you. Mrs. Lady is still insensible. Something is different now. Three new things vie for dominance in your head. All three are you.
Spoiler: Your New Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
You look at the wick-headed man. You don't think he actually said anything just now.
"So, uh, yeah. That's a thing. Hey, lady, you want to see the trick, too?" he asks of Mrs. Lady. "What's your name?"
"Oh, huh, what?" Mrs. Lady looks at him, startled. "My name's Tracey. Yeah. Sorry. Got distracted. There was this..."
"Flame, yeah. So, Tracey, let's see..."
Tracey twitches as the wick-headed man looks at her. Her body starts to convulse, blood starts coming out of her nose and streaming from under her glasses. She doubles over while remaining on her knees, the contents of her stomach coming right out in a stream of projectile vomit.
"Uh, whoops. Are you, er, okay?"
Tracey does appear to be stable after a moment, or at least not bleeding or vomiting quite as much, though she's certainly in a bad way.
"... why?" she asks accusatorily.
"Sorry, I just, er, overdid it, I guess?"
She coughs for a moment, trying to clear up her throat, then sits back further away from the newly-made puddle of her internal fluids.
Post by: Toaster on March 11, 2015, 10:36:42 am
"Thanks buddy! Have a hat on me."
Spew some hats everywhere.
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
((I need another mind point to stow more spells.))
Post by: Pancaek on March 11, 2015, 10:43:47 am
Post by: Toaster on March 11, 2015, 10:45:51 am
Post by: Pancaek on March 11, 2015, 10:48:44 am
Post by: Toaster on March 11, 2015, 10:55:51 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 11, 2015, 11:03:09 am
((Fuck. I seriously can't have john lose another friend. I'm already at down 3 friends. 4 if you count Lee. 6 if you count the two players who went AWOL. ))
You should make more durable friends.
Also, that was the last update for Larry before the update. Wouldn't want to clog the thread too much.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 11, 2015, 11:40:17 am
This is where my host body turned to underwear
2. What’s your name?
Charles Suilla
3. What color do you identify yourself with?
Pink
4. Describe yourself.
A pig that used to be the leg and confidante of Great Mage and High Priest of the True Denture: Dave David Davidson
5. What do you like/love/enjoy?
Mud, food, literature.
6. What do you dislike/hate/fear?
Barbecuers
7. In terms of occult or obscure power and knowledge, who would you like most to resemble (fictional people included)?
Erymanthian Boar
Body: 2
Finesse: 0
Mind: 2
Affinity: 2
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 11, 2015, 11:45:42 am
Post by: Toaster on March 11, 2015, 11:46:11 am
And I like the character concept!
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 11, 2015, 01:55:37 pm
"Maybe you're right. I do not know all those things you do, unfortunately. And I am not one to deny my mistakes."
"Still, if they see you and me waiting at their door, wouldn't they just turn around and run away?
And you said it yourself that this block has been optimized for the times of its occupants, but since the ma- shade I am looking for is not a regular occupant, couldn't that mean that there is a chance he arrives later? Wouldn't that give them enough time to... I dunno, use a cellphone or one of those screens to alert the one I'm looking for?"
Could I perhaps open the door just enough to break the soundproof seal? Or are there magnets/magic involved preventing me from doing that?
Post by: lawastooshort on March 11, 2015, 02:56:29 pm
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 11, 2015, 02:58:26 pm
Fair enough; spellcasting means major update anyway usually.It's good right? 'Cause 'suilla' is latin for pork. Pun pun.
And I like the character concept!
Post by: Toaster on March 11, 2015, 03:33:44 pm
((bother, I need to find my last character sheet.))
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=130326.msg6009747#msg6009747
Post by: Pancaek on March 11, 2015, 03:46:08 pm
You should make more durable friends.((I hope she makes it. I quite liked her character))
Post by: lawastooshort on March 12, 2015, 08:43:42 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 13, 2015, 09:19:11 am
[THE DUNKER's mind roll: 5+2]
In the next 200 milliseconds it takes for the man to pop another donut in his mouth and split it in half with his teeth, THE DUNKER feels himself transcend for but a moment to a different plane, where the secrets of magic roam free. Here floats THE DUNKER, and his will is manifest. A dodecahedral emperor of the nearest ring of forbidden knowledge, each of the 30 edges of his body projects a different form of power upon spacetime, awaiting synchronization of universal factors that will signal the start of his rule over reality. Should be only 1.377 billion or so years left, so it's not so bad. He's already waited for this long, and the waiting is indeed included in the rules, so he's technically bound to just float around here for a while yet.
On the other hand, he can't quite recall a single time the rules have benefited him specifically. Only the people he stands to eat and make into one of his new edges. Moreover, if he remembers it right, said people are quite delicious, too. And defenseless in the event of a sudden betrayal. Condensation forms on his surface at the mere thought of it. It's an invigorating feeling. Experimentally, THE DUNKER inhales, pulling in numerous secrets blowing by on the magical winds. The secrets worm their way in at the edges, and electrifying magic rouses his physical framework until it and his spirit operate in unified destructive harmony. Oh yes. He does believe he will pop over to let his old friends know what he thinks of all these ruling agreements. And then his edges will be manifold.
Spoiler: THE DUNKER's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Halesey is troubled. Has the deadly divine document failed? Or is this part of some greater plan? Perhaps God wills it? That'd be a fine working explanation, he suspects. God wills it. Now to go and check with Him and see what he's playing at.
[Affinity roll: 1-->3+1]
Halesey makes the holy hand gesture and thinks the holy mantra of the potato, but the vortex fails to appear on the occasionally twitching body of Hungry Pete. Crikey, another sign? Already? Surely it cannot be! Halesey looks at Pete and checks to see if maybe God's left a note to bring His prophet up to speed. He hasn't, which reassures Halesey that he probably just thought of cakes at the wrong time (something he ought to bring up in the confessional, if God has one).
[Affinity roll: 4+1+1]
Ah, there we go. A nice large vortex right over the fellow, covering his body almost entirely. As it expands, the outline of human flesh around the vortex slowly starts to spill over into the other realm, slightly reminiscent of Halesey's adventures way back... huh, was it today? My, how time waddles. Anyhow, the flesh of the doubter flows around the edges of the vortex and over to the other side, where God no doubt awaits - once the last of him has made it to the other side, Halesey, after dodging an incautious and broken zombie stripper flying past him. dives in as well.
And there, on the other end, God awaits. Halesey looks back, and notices the doubter still in his flesh-ring form, and also blissfully unconscious. Time to change one of these, he thinks and gives the ring a good kick in one of the softer portions. With a scream, the doubter wakes. With another, more incoherent scream the doubter realizes what's currently happening to him.
"I see you have brought a third man, my prophet," God notes over the screaming, his immense tubery form resplendent in the distance, orbited by a slumbering Initiate Nigel. "He seems slightly less willing than the others. Does he fit the last potato?"
* * * * *
John uncomplicatedly decides to just go along with all of this, walking out into the woods with the briefcase conventionally inextricably attached to his hand. He walks up the terrible road and continues on his path for about thirty minutes until he comes to what looks like a dried-up riverbank, where the path suddenly ends. John looks around.
This, it seems, is the deadest end he's seen thus far. The woods feel deep, dark and oppressive, the undergrowth wild and thick, and the terrain uneven and rich with ravines. The air is cool, and John begins to suspect it might rain soon, until he notices a weird feeling. Something is behind him. He turns around.
There's nothing there. The leaves of the brush are trembling lightly.
* * * * *
Larry thanks the wick-man in the very best way he can - with the gift of hats.
[Larry's affinity roll: 5+2]
At his call, a pile of hats about the height of two chunky dwarfs materializes next to the guy, scattering around the room as per Larry's wish. A few fly past the man's flame, and instantly explode into flame, then collapse in ashes. Some land in Tracey's puddle. One lands on her head - a dark, unusually small derby hat, looking slightly lopsided. Tracey's eyes wander up to it.
"Uh... thanks?" she says, pushing the hat down a little so it doesn't fall off. Looking at her face, Larry notices that the blood coming out of her eyes and nose has coagulated into reddish-brown trails. Traces of vomit remain at the corners of her mouth.
"Yeah, uh, thanks. Can't, uh, actually wear a hat, but thanks anyway," the guy agrees. An awkward silence ensues. "So, anyone want to, uh, go for a walk or something? This place is kinda, well, on fire and stuff."
* * * * *
Her ploy being in motion, if not entirely planned this far, Eta continues her skullduggery for the greater good.
"Maybe you're right. I do not know all those things you do, unfortunately. And I am not one to deny my mistakes. Still, if they see you and me waiting at their door, wouldn't they just turn around and run away? And you said it yourself that this block has been optimized for the times of its occupants, but since the ma- shade I am looking for is not a regular occupant, couldn't that mean that there is a chance he arrives later? Wouldn't that give them enough time to... I dunno, use a cellphone or one of those screens to alert the one I'm looking for?"
"Nowhere to run. All five occupants live here. All five are coworkers. None have alternate lodgings. And shades from purple to cyan are subject to curfew, forbidden to be out during proscribed periods of inactivity," the law-shade explains as Eta slowly opens the hatch to the hallway. Immediately as she does, she hears the unmistakable sound of shade speech.
"... and the day was middling in quality," one voice remarks. "Efficiency is low. Adequate payment is becoming increasingly unlikely. Worse times ahead."
"No doubt. But we are in trouble together now. And together we'll find the way out," a tonally identical voice replies, its words coming out banal, the emotion in them plainly being that of tooth-clenched impatience.
"So we hope," the first voice declares flatly, and the sound of semi-ethereal shuffling begins, a noise Eta hadn't really noticed before.
"Yes. Oh, and Teb?" the second voice asks in a sudden, friendly shift of tone. No response, the shuffling continues. "No reflex. That is good."
"Also, I am not Teb," the first voice says, throwing its words disdainfully. "But good guess, Bonzo."
"I am not Bonzo," the second voice replies defensively.
"Just like any other here," the first one concludes. The sound of a nearby hatch opening, then closing.
Spoiler: Block Toe Pine Seven (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on March 13, 2015, 09:32:02 am
Larry shrugged, a gesture that was getting a lot of mileage these days. "Ehhh... anyway, where are we?" He tries to ignore Tracey.
Post by: Pancaek on March 13, 2015, 10:05:35 am
"Yo, shrub. Or person inside or behind of said shrub. You Charlie? Alternatively, if you're here to throw down, let's get it over with yeah?"
Spoiler: John (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 13, 2015, 10:34:00 am
((Hell is other people))
Larry shrugged, a gesture that was getting a lot of mileage these days. "Ehhh... anyway, where are we?" He tries to ignore Tracey.
"Uh, nowhere in particular. Not anyplace shady or anything... yeah, nothing like that. You should be, uh, safe. I guess," he gives Tracey an unsure look.
"Are there other things that'll try to explode my head? Jesus! I'm screwed, aren't I? Completely screwed!" she remarks.
"No, no! Relax! Nothing to, er, worry about, so to speak!" the man says quickly and, it should be said, less than convincingly. "Your mind was just kinda, well, unprepared and suchlike. A bit, uh, different than the other guy's, less... well..."
"Are you calling me dumb?" she says, getting defensive.
"No! I..." he turns to you. "Uh... help me out here, please?"
John sighs and puts his hand in his pocket. He turns around, looking at that shrub like a man would look at the front door as he decides to let his mother-in-law in or pretend he isn't home. He grabs a hold of the snub nosed revolver in his pocket, just in case.
"Yo, shrub. Or person inside or behind of said shrub. You Charlie? Alternatively, if you're here to throw down, let's get it over with yeah?"
The only response you get is some kind of squirrely noise. The brush shakes a little more vigorously.
Post by: Toaster on March 13, 2015, 10:41:28 am
"What he's saying is you're not an awesome wizard like me.
...
Uh, yet. I've been dropping bombs on four planes of existence."
Post by: lawastooshort on March 13, 2015, 10:49:52 am
And to Derek the Doubter say thus:
"Doubter, you have passed the first test. Would you like to be imbued with the Holy Potato, renounce false faith, and so be opened unto God and Ultimate Power?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 13, 2015, 10:54:44 am
((Coming to Larry for diplomatic help))
"What he's saying is you're not an awesome wizard like me.
...
Uh, yet. I've been dropping bombs on four planes of existence."
"I know I'm not any good at being a wizard, but why does he have to be so mean about it? Talking about my mind being 'different'. I'm not different! I'm normal! It's all these crazy people I meet who are 'different'!" she says.
"I am not yet sure, my lord. He is a Doubter, so to test him I revealed unto him some sacred text, or rather imagery, and I took it as a Holy Sign that he was not burned away where others would be. But then I thought that before blessing him with the last Holy Potato, I might do well to consult with You, for my mind for once wavered, unsure. If You do not object, I shall offer him the Holy Potato."
And to Derek the Doubter say thus:
"Doubter, you have passed the first test. Would you like to be imbued with the Holy Potato, renounce false faith, and so be opened unto God and Ultimate Power?"
Derek the Doubter replies with screaming and hyperventilation until he passes out. Must be the tubers pressing up against his severe burns.
Post by: lawastooshort on March 13, 2015, 11:07:10 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 13, 2015, 11:23:56 am
"Hmm. Perhaps he needs medical care rather than Supreme Truth. Can you heal him, O God? If not I guess I should take him back, and find a doctor."
"I certainly can, though I suppose it will require me to give him a portion of my power," God muses. "Place that last Holy Potato in him, my prophet, and then we can say your quest is complete, and I can get the both of you in the same holy burst. Oh, and will you close that vortex? I do not enjoy the constant draft."
Post by: Pancaek on March 13, 2015, 11:28:08 am
John speaks to the bush in low soothing tones, making cooing noises once in a while. He also gets out a piece of sausage and lays it a few feet away from him, hoping that it might draw out whatever is in the bush
Post by: Toaster on March 13, 2015, 11:38:26 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 13, 2015, 11:59:25 am
"Right, it's a rodent then. A vicious, murdering nether-rodent, no doubt. Come on out boy, I won't be scared. Probably"
John speaks to the bush in low soothing tones, making cooing noises once in a while. He also gets out a piece of sausage and lays it a few feet away from him, hoping that it might draw out whatever is in the bush
You put the sausage on the ground, and what happens next is a little odd - the piece just disappears. There's no sound, although the roadside grass bends a little in the process.
"Maybe the different way is better?"
"But the different way means wizard fight clubs, looking for trouble, talking to kitties in my head, having weird spells like fusing mold, then having all my spells say Tracey on them, my head almost exploding and... well, sort of also having fun. Finding adventure. And meeting a nice guy or two," she smiles a little, though her wistful look leads you to believe she doesn't mean you in that last bit. "And Kitty's not so bad, either. She's... not here, though, is she? That's weird. Hey, Kitty!" she calls out. "Nope. Kitty's not here."
Post by: Toaster on March 13, 2015, 12:09:24 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 13, 2015, 12:22:22 pm
Close the vortex as much as possible. Bless Derek the Doubter with the Holy Potato and the gift of life!
Post by: Pancaek on March 13, 2015, 12:24:34 pm
John puts another small piece of sausage in roughly the same spot and retreats a bit. He asks his inner, magical sugardaddy for advice.
"Hey, do you know what this might be? It sounds kinda like a squirrel, it's invisible and it seems to like sausage."
Post by: Xantalos on March 13, 2015, 01:49:43 pm
I think I have a spell that could secure the lower floor now. A sort of moat. I'm going to go test it out, if you don't mind.
Head downstairs and just outside of the factory. Check for anything unusual happening; potato vortexes notwithstanding.
Spoiler: The Reborn DUNK MACHINE (click to show/hide)
Post by: Execute/Dumbo.exe on March 13, 2015, 07:00:54 pm
Post by: Xantalos on March 13, 2015, 07:17:29 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 14, 2015, 04:23:30 am
Larry nodded; another success for his incredible wit. "You got it! Now I can breathe out divine porn, summon salsa angels and hats, bless angels, and do all sorts of cool Larry stuff. Think how awesome you're gonna be!"
"Good point, I guess! So!" she gets up. "You said we were going somewhere not shady?" she asks of the man.
"Uh, yeah. I guess."
"So are we going now or later?"
"Ah, an invisible rodent then. Greeeeeeaaaaaaat. Well, not like I'm using this sausage anyway."
John puts another small piece of sausage in roughly the same spot and retreats a bit. He asks his inner, magical sugardaddy for advice.
"Hey, do you know what this might be? It sounds kinda like a squirrel, it's invisible and it seems to like sausage."
The piece of sausage, as before, disappears entirely.
~I know! It's one of those off-brand magical creatures. Like a gremlin, or maybe a gnome. Or it's just a rodent that somebody made invisible. It's probably one of those, yeah!~
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 14, 2015, 07:11:35 am
This is a bit tricky. Reminds me one of those logic puzzles or detective games. Part of the job, I suppose.
Guess I could cut the knot by threatening them until someone cracks and then turn that guy in, regardless of whether or not he's the man, but that wouldn't be as fun nor as moral. Not to mention that would probably force me to turn on the law-shade.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 14, 2015, 07:33:18 am
Did I hear only one hatch open and close?
This is a bit tricky. Reminds me one of those logic puzzles or detective games. Part of the job, I suppose.
Guess I could cut the knot by threatening them until someone cracks and then turn that guy in, regardless of whether or not he's the man, but that wouldn't be as fun nor as moral. Not to mention that would probably force me to turn on the law-shade.
Why, yes. Only one hatch.
Post by: Pancaek on March 14, 2015, 09:11:59 am
"Come out, little buddy. I've got more sausage. Don't be afraid, you can show yourself to me."
John sits on his hunches and holds out a large piece of sausage, looking quite intently at whatever might approach.
Post by: Toaster on March 14, 2015, 10:40:59 am
Grab sweet hat and onward, wherever they go.
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 14, 2015, 05:26:05 pm
Listen carefully. Can I hear anything? If not, wait a few more seconds and then exit the room.
If I hear more shades approaching, wait for them to open a hatch then casually open the door and look at where they are, what they're doing and if they're holding anything.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 20, 2015, 03:24:05 pm
"O Derek, you shall take unto your heart this Most Sacred Potato, and become an Initiate of Ultimate Potato Power," he begins solemnly, colorful potato swimming out of his torso and into his hand at his bidding, "and you shall be healed. Amen."
He raises the potato upward (in relation to himself - both he and Derek the Doubter seem to be a tad lopsided in relation to God, on account of them slowly rotating in the irregular stream of potatoes, and then brings it down into his chest like a priest secretly imagines God's great hammer would fall on whatever annoys them that day. The potato meets some resistance at Derek's flesh, but it is ultimately of little consequence in relation to the force put in - the potato sinks in, and for a moment, Derek's eyes open. He inhales sharply. He is about to scream again.
He doesn't, however, get the opportunity, for he is immediately bathed in the holy brownish-yellow light of God, the light of inner growth and secret reserves, burrowing into the flesh of the Doubter and the Prophet alike, both exalted in God's presence simultaneously at this very moment. It is an overwhelming sensation of glorious power. A part of Halesey, an emptiness he started to know only when the last potato left his inner reaches, is now filled, running little roots through his being, filling out his understanding of all that is, was and will be.
Halesey's got a new stat point to spend! Brilliant! He can now doublecast any one Potato spell or cast any two Potato spells per turn!
And then, things go quiet. God floats there, looking resplendent as usual. Derek the Doubter looks perfectly fine, awake, and also in shock, his mouth hanging open, a passing tuber barely missing it.
"God," Derek simply states. There's a tinge of uncertainty in his voice.
"Indeed, Derek. I am the Potato God. Are you prepared to serve, or would you prefer to rest for now?"
"My name is not Derek," says not-Derek. "Peter is my name. Hungry Pete is my moniker."
The potatoes swarm and swirl around Hungry Pete oddly.
"You are not God, are you?" he says, with much more surety in his voice than before.
"Truthfully, I am a god," God replies. "One of many. But more popular than most."
"I see," he says, regarding God with a great deal of intensity in his eyes.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, after hinting at his sinister plans for a moment, waddles down to the first floor, past his vampire friend, and into the lot outside, casting a critical eye about for suspicious activity.
First of all, there's a bunch of forlorn-looking, scantily-clad undead shambling about. They seem about as non-threatening as the undead possibly can be - the sort of complete lack of credible threat a single traditional Romero zombie poses in an open field, but applied to a group. They're a sorry lot, they are, broken and miserable all over. Some can't even walk.
There's a conspicuous lack of potato vortexes about, in other news.
And finally, no other people about, either. No credible witnesses. THE DUNKER could get away with murder here, it's not unreasonable to say. And he would know, having gotten away with murder once already.
* * * * *
John attempts to entice the little off-brand creature out of hiding, hoping sausage and kind words work as well with it as they do with humans.
"Come out, little buddy. I've got more sausage. Don't be afraid, you can show yourself to me," he says, holding out his sausage to show he's not kidding one bit. The sincerity in his voice and the method of offering, it seems, strike a chord of some kind in the off-brand creature's mind, for it does indeed show itself.
It starts with John blinking, as mystical events occasionally do. Before, the space before him is empty. After, there is something there. It's small, about a quarter of his height, if that. It's definitely got a rodent-like look, but more robust than he'd expect from a squirrel, and the tail it has is clearly a dead giveaway - it's some form of beaver. It bares its orange front teeth at him, its mouth, encircled by a suspiciously human-befitting white beard, opening up slightly. Its small eyes light up, and it tips its tiny pointy hat at the man with the sausage. It's some sort of beavergnome, his senses tell him, and just as strongly as they inform John of this, the look of its eyes informs him that it's probably not exactly friendly.
"Your food isn't poisoned, I checked," it says. "You may be trustworthy. But first, a background check," it tells John genially, but then, just as suddenly as it appeared just now, a burst of alarm appears in its voice. "Who sent you?" he (the beard makes you think it's a he, anyway) asks in a manner both rapid and accusatory.
* * * * *
Larry grabs a sweet-looking starry wizard hat (okay, a birthday hat, but it's a pretty swanky one nonetheless, made of fabric, even, and really close enough when one thinks about it for a moment) and prepares to take a walk.
"Let's roll!" says he. Tracey looks at the wick guy, he looks back. Both of them shrug, and the walk is commenced! The door to the outside does not open, it dissolves as the guy looks at it.
"Well, uh, follow me, then," he says and steps out into the... void? No, wait - it's the darkness. The void it is decidedly not - as the guy walks out into darkness, a blazing path of light is left behind him, smoke rising from beneath it. Larry, like a proper gentleman, allows Tracey to go first - she takes a tentative step, and finds the path of light solid. The guy is gaining on them, so the two hurry after him as he walks around and around in a spiraling pattern, occasionally looking about. Tiny lights occasionally manifest, then start to glow brightly off to the side. In the far distance, there is something not unlike the sun, but also not unlike a star in the night sky, somewhere in the middle between the distance of those two, more luminous than a planet for sure.
"So, uh," says the guy from a walkway atop the one Tracey and Larry are currently traversing, with Tracey considerably ahead of Larry presently. He seems to have stopped, some thought briefly overtaking him. "This really isn't all that engaging, is it? Distance are too, erm, big, you know?"
"Are we going to be there any time soon?" Tracey asks cautiously as she starts to jog up the spiral leading up to the guy. Larry is left in the dust beneath.
"Er, no. That's the problem."
"Oh."
"But it's, uh, kind of easy to fix," the guy says, giving the distant luminous object a good look. Almost as if beckoned, the object starts to loom larger and larger, drawing closer, heating the surroundings and throwing off little waves of luminous particles that Larry gets the distinct impression he's not supposed to be seeing. It seethes and menaces all three with its terrible power, but Larry especially, it seems. Why, though, he cannot say.
"Say hello, guys, it's... uh, what did I call it again? It's not God, right? It's... uh..."
The guy doesn't seem to have a good word for it presently, but its presence is unquestionable. Larry gazes upon it, and finds it distinctly familiar.
"Hey! It's that thing!" Tracey points at it.
"Yeah, it's that thing. What was its name, though?" the guy continues to think aloud. "The Wellspring? The, uh, Sunwell? Eternal Springs? I dunno."
* * * * *
Eta, after making sure that she cannot, in fact, localize the exact origin of a sound to her right (which, she supposes, excludes the hatch right opposite hers at least), tries to listen for something else instead, such as what's happening in the hallway. She listens for a moment, and becomes fairly certain that there is probably a shade out in the hallway, probably not doing much of anything aside from humming very lightly.
Post by: Xantalos on March 20, 2015, 04:16:13 pm
Post by: Pancaek on March 20, 2015, 06:56:50 pm
"An old guy standing near a gas station told me to get this suitcase to a guy named Charlie in Greenblatt Park. I didn't get the chance to ask his name, to be honest."
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 20, 2015, 07:49:11 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 21, 2015, 03:32:01 am
John, quite used to nothing going as he expects it ot by now, doesn't even hesitate
"An old guy standing near a gas station told me to get this suitcase to a guy named Charlie in Greenblatt Park. I didn't get the chance to ask his name, to be honest."
The beavergnome tilts his head.
"Unfamiliar! Except for the park. But Charlie at the park has no impending deliveries. A different Charlie? Coincidence? Impossible! What's your angle? What's in the suitcase?"
Open the door. Look at the shade. What is it doing? Does it look surprised in any way? As surprised as shades can look, anyway. Assuming I get no reaction out of it, greet it with a single, casual "Hey." while walking towards it. More actions will follow based on its reaction
You open the hatch and look out in the hallway, and see the shade laid out against the wall like an actual shadow, perpendicular turn and everything. It doesn't appear to be doing anything in particular.
"Hey," you say, and the shadow jumps off the wall and toward the center of the hallway. You step out into the hallway and start walking toward it.
"You're not supposed to be here!" it quickly says. As you draw closer, it opens the hatch right next to the unoccupied one just a crack, and disappears inside. The hatch shuts and seemingly locks.
"Jumpy lot, these purples. Comes with the territory," your shade-companion whispers, still within the unoccupied room.
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 21, 2015, 07:08:25 am
If there aren't:
"That's not very polite." Eta mutters.
She turns around to face the law shade while raising her hand towards the recently locked door.
"Are you going to unlock it or should I kick it down?"
If there are:
"Let's see what's behind door number 2." Eta said as she opened the unlocked door.
Post by: Pancaek on March 21, 2015, 07:17:50 am
"My original angle was meeting interesting magical creatures. I don't know what's in the suitcase, only that I was told not to open it under any circumstance. Look, can you give me directions to this Charlie person so I can give him his suitcase?"
Post by: Toaster on March 21, 2015, 09:57:33 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on March 22, 2015, 04:43:20 pm
Speak thus, but also open my folder, read therein, and open my mind to the power of potato!
edit: I added 1 to affinity. Might get to 3 one day!
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 23, 2015, 03:55:59 pm
No unlocked doors in sight, right?
If there aren't:
"That's not very polite." Eta mutters.
She turns around to face the law shade while raising her hand towards the recently locked door.
"Are you going to unlock it or should I kick it down?"
If there are:
"Let's see what's behind door number 2." Eta said as she opened the unlocked door.
The door that was opened slightly before, the one opposite the one you occupied, is still opened slightly, so you head toward that one and open it up.
Inside there is the same room you recall from before, complete with form. You note, however, that the sarcophagus is a little different now. It's open a little, just a crack, similarly to the door.
John sighs. Paranoid beavergnomes are not something he has a lot of experience in dealing with.
"My original angle was meeting interesting magical creatures. I don't know what's in the suitcase, only that I was told not to open it under any circumstance. Look, can you give me directions to this Charlie person so I can give him his suitcase?"
"Go that way," the beavergnome says, pointing in a particular direction. "All the way until you're there. Don't get turned around."
Larry started to shrug, but didn't this time. "I... dunno. Whatever it is, it seems familiar. And I kinda think it recognizes me."
"Uh, yeah. That's, like, what the angels get energy from. You've, uh, both had a taste already, I see. You can-"
"I didn't want to, but the weird guy said I had to, otherwise I couldn't go to heaven! Can you imagine? Me not going to heaven! Screw that! Although... heaven is kinda weird. Was he the devil? He can't have been the devil, right?"
The guy pauses.
"Yeah, okay, well... oh! Hold on a sec, I'll be right back!" he says, then disappears abruptly, leaving you and Tracey just standing there.
Post by: Toaster on March 23, 2015, 04:08:47 pm
Hmm...
Regard infinite power in front of me.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 23, 2015, 04:15:18 pm
"I think Cal said Source... hey, where'd he go?"
Hmm...
Regard infinite power in front of me.
It feels large and smells a lot like the color yellow, you note. For some reason, you start to salivate more intensely as you behold its majesty.
"It looks delicious," Tracey mutters to herself.
Post by: Pancaek on March 23, 2015, 04:17:33 pm
John walks off, idly wondering what sort of trap the beavergnome might send him into. Well, he doesn't have anything better to do right now anyway, so what the heck.
Johns goes in the direction the beavergnome pointed at, making sure not to get turned back
Post by: Toaster on March 23, 2015, 08:12:32 pm
Tap into the power here! Open myself up to it.
*Almost typed Lars
Post by: wipeout1024 on March 23, 2015, 11:31:44 pm
2. My name is Tiana Smith.
3. Well, my favourite color is navy blue.
4. Well, I am african-american, I have black, frizzy hair. I'm about 5'8, and I have brown eyes. I also have a light southern accent.
5. I enjoy arts and crafts, cooking, reading, and jazz music. I also love animals.
6. I hate swimming, the dark, and inequality.
7. Minerva McGonagall.
Body: 1
Finesse: 1
Mind:2
Affinity:2
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 25, 2015, 07:46:27 am
"Hello? Anybody in there? Messenger with divine knowledge here."
If no reply, open the sarcophagus.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 25, 2015, 04:16:10 pm
[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 6-->6+2]
He swipes his hand sideways, and from the deep below a brook of prostitutes viler than earthly possible bubbles upward, unseen as of yet, directed by the mind of THE DUNKER. The ground around the factory starts to rise - water and sewage pipes break, and the factory itself ascends most of all. And then, just like from a mountain spring, a stream of horrendous hookers blasts out of the ground at the top, eating through the concrete in record time as it rips forth with astounding force. Concrete cracks around the stream as it winds around, once, twice, three times, and then six more on top of that, each forming a perfect circle, giving the surroundings of the factory the look of a terraced pyramid, except much more circular in shape. Each circle is connected to the lower and the upper one by five streams projecting outward, and soon a series of nine concentric moats surrounds the factory.
The mechanism that governs the streams, aside from simple gravity, is one of strength - here on the outside, where THE DUNKER stands, is where all of the weakest, most diluted of the hookers wash up when they can't hold on in the competitive environment of the top, and they, while formidable and possessing glowing eyes, jet black blood and a cosmically horrifying lack of morals like any of their kin, are not quite comparable to their upper level counterparts by any means - as a traveler climbs upward, each circle hounds them with offers of increasingly heinous acts for increasingly reasonable prices (competition defines the upper levels, you see, and not just in the physical sense where a hooker must hold on for dear life to avoid being washed away, and swim upstream amidst a sea of people just as ambitious to retain their position even then). And if one of the people in the stream is incapable of holding their own even at the very bottom, well, then they go down into the spring, where they are to be remade to perform better, then sent upward once more. It's a very merit-based system, and one that handles new additions in the form of hapless travelers quite well.
Most fortunately of all, however, is that the inhabitants of the river seem to revere THE DUNKER sufficiently to allow him free passage upward, carried on the arms of his new subjects all the way to the top. This works surprisingly well, THE DUNKER notes, on account of the hookers all cooperating to do so. One wonders what they could achieve with cooperation like this if they kept it up all the time. But that wouldn't be very fell of them, would it?
* * * * *
Halesey quietly beholds Hungry Pete for a moment longer, repeating his name in order to not call him Derek again.
"Wow. Pete. I swear she told me it was Derek... Oh well. So, uh. The Potato God has granted me Ultimate Power, and in your defiance I saw that he might favour you too, seeing as how you have spirit, and intelligence. Will you join me in serving the Potato God, and thereby gaining Ultimate Power? And on a personal note, well done for resisting the... um. The gentleman's literature. You are the only other person who I have seen do that, so, respect, dude. Make the right move here and you could be destined for greatness, man. Crikey," says he, apparently most impressed. Hungry Pete gives him a strange look.
"The... gentleman's literature? Do you even know what you've shown me, profligate? What infinite significance a mere glimpse, milliseconds in length, relayed to my immortal soul? I..." he pauses. "Never mind. First, there is business to take care of."
He assumes a crucified position, head turned upward, eyes closed. Potatoes start to behave stormily in his immediate vicinity, leading Halesey to suppose he must be doing something awfully potato-ish.
This reminds him. Time to access the inner potato. Retrieving his binder, Halesey looks inside and thinks tubery thoughts.
[Halesey's mind roll: 3+1]
They come out more leafy than tubery, however, plants growing from his head, bearing useless, poisonous fruit, spiraling in untoward directions - his focus must remain on that which remains, the valuable unspent potato, a thing of infinite promise given the right circumstances - he finds two such things in his mind yet, harvested from the dense stream of concentrated potato-thought pouring through his filter-mind every moment. It is with one of these that he shall begin a new line. A new age, mayhap.
Spoiler: Halesey's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
John perhaps unwisely decides to take what the supernatural creature he just met has told him at face value, and heads off in the direction specified. He walks and walks, and then he walks a bit more, feeling increasingly lost with each step, trudging through undergrowth and errant roots tirelessly until he arrives at a significant-looking place.
He's not quite sure why it looks significant. Really, it's a spot like any other in the forest. But there's something about it. An air of importance and mystical relevance, and of dire anticipation.
* * * * *
Larry knows what to do at this point, obviously.
"Yes... it does. I want some," he agrees with Tracey as he attempts to approach it in a mental sort of way. He looks upon it intently. His mouth opens, a slight amount of drool escaping from its corner. He reaches out with his arms and closes his eyes. In his mind, he takes a step, then another one, and by that point he seems to be more than close enough.
The sun-like Source detects his approach readily, and its response appears to be a wild stab, impaling Larry most violently with a needle-thin tendril of transmission. Larry draws breath sharply as the white-hot power surges into him, and his saliva starts to turn to froth quickly. His eyes roll into the back of his head as images of the universe in its entirety spin through him, granting total perspective for a blinding instant. It is almost enough to drive the man mad.
And then, completely suddenly, the tendril draws back, breaking off a small fragment of itself in the pulling, leaving some portion inside of Larry. He looks down, and is almost shocked to discover that he doesn't appear to be bleeding to death from that.
Larry has attained some fresh holiness! He gets a new stat point, and he can additionally now teleport short distances at will with an Affinity roll, and can also choose Divine as a keyword in spell research!
Feeling flush with newfound power, Larry looks around, and observes Tracey standing on the walkway above. A tendril appears to have totally missed her somehow, tearing off into oblivion, while she's standing there a little confused.
"I think I dodged that tentacle by accident," she observes. "Is that supposed to happen?"
* * * * *
Eta approaches the almost certainly filled sarcophagus and tries to get a peek inside before knocking - no luck, however. She then knocks on the lid, hoping to get the attention of whoever is inside.
"Hello? Anybody in there? Messenger with divine knowledge here."
The lid opens sharply, revealing a purple-eyed shade inside. It jumps forth at Eta, stopping just short of her, and even that on account of her taking a step back.
"Divine knowledge! Tell me!" it says enthusiastically. "It's for me, right? I hope it's for me!"
Post by: BlitzDungeoneer on March 25, 2015, 04:16:51 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 25, 2015, 04:17:41 pm
((If you haven't already, just take me off the player list.))
Dead or refrigerated for possible future use? One of those is potentially revokable, you see, and players have asked to be killed off before.
Post by: BlitzDungeoneer on March 25, 2015, 04:25:55 pm
Post by: Pancaek on March 25, 2015, 04:30:27 pm
John shouts, getting increasingly weary of all things magical
Post by: Xantalos on March 25, 2015, 04:37:45 pm
Rather pleased with himself, the DUNKER begins to head back to those guys.
Head back to fat guy and those other mage people.
"This place is now significantly more defended. I wouldn't reccommend going outside ... ever though, I'm not sure if the hookers would let you pass."
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 25, 2015, 05:54:29 pm
Post by: Toaster on March 26, 2015, 08:34:46 am
+1 mind! Teleport to the other side of Tracey to show off.
Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on March 26, 2015, 09:01:32 am
”Profligate? Screw you, man. I show you the path to the greatest power, and you call me a profligate? That was only low level gentleman’s literature, dude.”
Remain calm and look again at my folder! (focus: potatoes)
"Look, we are servants of the potato now. We should be friends.”
Address God:
”God, what is your will?”
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 26, 2015, 09:57:25 am
"Next time I meet a magical creature, I'm shooting it. HEY, ANYONE HERE? I'VE GOT A DELIVERY FOR CHARLIE!"
John shouts, getting increasingly weary of all things magical
No response. Maybe Charlie's not here yet.
"Depends. Who are you? There's no name on the doorbell."
"Ge-hey, wait a minute! I'm not supposed to tell anyone. Ziggy said so."
Larry grinned, flush with new power. This was the stuff! "I dunno, girl. Maybe you're not ready for the power it has! Check it!"
Teleport to the other side of Tracey to show off.
Oh, did I forget to say you got a new stat point? Because you did. It seems I forgot, yes.
[Affinity roll: 4+2]
You appear right next to Tracey, narrowly dodging the tendril as you reappear. It's an invigorating feeling, teleportation.
"Whoa!" she says with amazement, nearly falling off the walkway. "Cool! I want powers too, dang it!"
With that, she quickly grabs the tendril like one would a stick, then points it at herself. Her eyes roll back, her mouth falling open as the tendril crosses her body. This lasts for a couple moments, Tracey's face looking rather silly the entire time, and then the tendril retreats, the woman snapping out of what must be her fifth or sixth trance of the day. That is, if this whole experience isn't some kind of trance to begin with. She looks disapprovingly at the Source, shaking her head.
"Just my luck. Seems it was fresh out of teleportation!"
Post by: Toaster on March 26, 2015, 10:04:27 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 26, 2015, 10:33:17 am
Post by: Pancaek on March 26, 2015, 10:41:55 am
John grumbles and curses, but decides to wait just a wee bit longer.
Post by: Toaster on March 26, 2015, 11:00:30 am
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 26, 2015, 12:41:23 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 28, 2015, 04:18:03 pm
"Oh come on. I don't have time for this. I swear to god, if that beaver gave me wrong directions I'm going to kick over his dam."
John grumbles and curses, but decides to wait just a wee bit longer.
As you impatiently appreciate the glory of surprisingly lifeless nature around you, you do notice something, a feeling, as if you're being watched carefully by many tiny eyes. Perhaps something is expected of you, as the stillness of this place becomes almost palpable.
Larry sniggered. "Guess we can't all be cool like me."
Tracey frowns.
"Guess not," she says hopelessly and shrugs. "And I can't even test my crappy new power, since Kitty's not here. This is just the worst, isn't it?"
As if in response, the wick-headed guy reappears.
"I'm, uh, back and stuff. You get your, uh, business done?"
"What? Me and him?" Tracey says indignantly. "I hardly even know him!"
"Uh, but that shouldn't-" the guy starts, then looks over at you. "No! Wait! That's, uh, your cue. Say something, uh, smooth, you know? Then we can get going."
"Oh. That's too bad. I guess I'll have to give that reward to someone else then. Maybe Ziggy would be interested?" Eta said as she turned around and started walking away.
"Wait! What kinda reward?" the shade asks. "For what?"
Post by: Pancaek on March 28, 2015, 04:22:46 pm
"Look, I know you're watching me." He holds up the suitcase chained to his arm. "I've got a delivery for Charlie, and I'd be really glad if you'd just come out and get it. You don't even have to sign for it."
Yo, magical sugardaddy. Do you know what's going on here?
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 28, 2015, 04:26:15 pm
This is the worst, thought John. Not only is nothing happening, but now I've got the feeling of being watched by voyeuristic smurfs.
"Look, I know you're watching me." He holds up the suitcase chained to his arm. "I've got a delivery for Charlie, and I'd be really glad if you'd just come out and get it. You don't even have to sign for it."
Yo, magical sugardaddy. Do you know what's going on here?
This does not appear to be what they want from you. Not surprising, considering you tried it before already.
~Angels are all about movement. Demons are all about hierarchy. Gremlins are all about destruction, and elemental gods are all about specialization. Gnomes, though, gnomes are all about secrecy, invisibility. And, naturally, all about ritual as well, though that applies to all supernatural creatures.~
Post by: Pancaek on March 28, 2015, 04:30:34 pm
John converses with his magical sugardaddy while squinting and looking at his surroundings
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 28, 2015, 04:35:32 pm
Ritualistic gnomes? Like, I get the secrecy stuff. Sneaking around must be fun when you're tiny. But what sort of rituals are we talking about here? And slightly off topic, are there any magical people-slash-creatures I can meet that are just...normal? Like, just have a straight up chat with them? Just out of curiosity, that last bit.
John converses with his magical sugardaddy while squinting and looking at his surroundings
These being gnomes, you don't particularly see anything. The grass isn't particularly tall around here, so it's not quite as apparent where little figures might be hiding exactly.
"Normal? Being mysterious is our entire purpose! Mysterious, mystical, magical, maniacal, just plain strange! Otherwise, how would you know we're magical at all? Wouldn't work! It'd all be mild-mannered people with reasonable demands, and we can't have that!"
Post by: Pancaek on March 28, 2015, 04:38:48 pm
John sat on his haunches to look a bit closer at the grass
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 28, 2015, 09:04:13 pm
Good. He took the bait and almost swallowed the fishing rod.
Time to put the pressure on him. See if he cracks.
This is going to be hard.
She turned around, adopting a more serious but slightly smiling facial expression.
"Oh, it's quite simple really. It is vitally important that I deliver a message to a certain shade. I know the name of the recipient but not much else. So all I need is for you to help me find that person or give me any information that would help me find them."
She took a few steps forward, making sure she was between the shade and the form on its desk so that it could not see it. At the same time she stared at the shade intently.
As they say in my profession, "Things not seen are easily forgotten"
"I believe that anyone who aids me in my quest deserves an appropriate reward. And, since I am a witch of some power, I am usually able to grant them something they desire. But the easiest thing for me to give you would be gold. I have plenty. I have already offered one to the one that led me here, but he said he didn't want a reward. Very noble of him, don't you think? What about you, is there anything you desire... Gef?"
Eta dropped what she thought was the shade's name casually, but with a small pause before it so that the shade would notice.
Get it to think that I can learn their names by supernatural means so that there's no point in hiding them from me, get it to think that there's a reward for them helping me and get it to think I'm in some noble quest. The more info I get, the easier it gets. Just got to keep them talking and keep them isolated.
Post by: Toaster on March 28, 2015, 11:52:53 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 29, 2015, 03:22:30 am
Yes...yes, I see that now. Can't have you lot being boring, now can we? What'd be the point. Now then. Gnome rituals. Tell me everything you know. Also, what do they eat. This is important.
John sat on his haunches to look a bit closer at the grass
~I don't know much, you see! They're tiny, they're sneaky, and it looks like they're paranoid survivalists, too! As for what they eat... I dunno. That guy you talked to seemed to like sausage?~
Eta smiled, glad that the shade could not see it.
Good. He took the bait and almost swallowed the fishing rod.
Time to put the pressure on him. See if he cracks.
This is going to be hard.
She turned around, adopting a more serious but slightly smiling facial expression.
"Oh, it's quite simple really. It is vitally important that I deliver a message to a certain shade. I know the name of the recipient but not much else. So all I need is for you to help me find that person or give me any information that would help me find them."
She took a few steps forward, making sure she was between the shade and the form on its desk so that it could not see it. At the same time she stared at the shade intently.
As they say in my profession, "Things not seen are easily forgotten"
"I believe that anyone who aids me in my quest deserves an appropriate reward. And, since I am a witch of some power, I am usually able to grant them something they desire. But the easiest thing for me to give you would be gold. I have plenty. I have already offered one to the one that led me here, but he said he didn't want a reward. Very noble of him, don't you think? What about you, is there anything you desire... Gef?"
Eta dropped what she thought was the shade's name casually, but with a small pause before it so that the shade would notice.
Get it to think that I can learn their names by supernatural means so that there's no point in hiding them from me, get it to think that there's a reward for them helping me and get it to think I'm in some noble quest. The more info I get, the easier it gets. Just got to keep them talking and keep them isolated.
At the mention of its name, the shade shivers dramatically and takes a step back, bumping into the sarcophagus.
"Um... well... here we usually trade in... IOUs? For, er, services rendered?"
The law-shade pokes its head into the room, its neck elongating and curving as it fixes its eyes on Gef, one clawlike hand wandering over the hatch slowly. The effect of this is not lost on Gef.
"But I'd take gold! Yeah!" he says, and you see a much, much deeper sense of panic descending on his voice.
Larry winked. "You can get to know me whenever you want, babe."
"Ew!" Tracey reels back, putting her hands over her ears and closing her eyes. "You guys are the worst!"
"That's... uh, one way to deal with it? Anyway, uh, I was thinking we could, uh, go look at something, maybe, but I don't really have any, you know, ideas on what. You got anything you want to look at or some such? Or should we just wrap it up now?"
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 29, 2015, 06:39:19 am
I just hope Lawman doesn't do anything stupid.
"Excellent!" Eta said, as she smiled and put her hands together. "Good choice."
She continued with a polite yet cheery tone, relaxing her body a bit.
"Why don't you start with the names of the other shades living here? I want to make sure that the recipient of the message is indeed here, you see."
Post by: Pancaek on March 29, 2015, 06:49:14 am
John puts down a small heap of sausage, then walks back a few feet. He kneels in the grass.
"Greetings, Gnomes and other assorted magical creatues. My name is John, and I bear you no malice. I am merely lost and looking for someone named Charlie to deliver this suitcase to. It isn't much, but I present you this gift of sausage in good will."
He also eats a chunk of sausage himself, to prove it isn't poisoned or anything.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 29, 2015, 08:10:52 am
Success!
I just hope Lawman doesn't do anything stupid.
"Excellent!" Eta said, as she smiled and put her hands together. "Good choice."
She continued with a polite yet cheery tone, relaxing her body a bit.
"Why don't you start with the names of the other shades living here? I want to make sure that the recipient of the message is indeed here, you see."
Gef occasionally glances at the law-shade, who seems to be looming at the back of the room.
"There's me, Gef Rachin, and then there's Zigward Bonzo, Lulamaz Ger, Hazar Teb and Onzerlak Gamu. Um... what else do you want to know?"
It seems to still be nervous, but a little more relaxed, though it does shiver a little when regarding the law-shade.
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 29, 2015, 09:33:26 am
"Good. So he is here." Eta noded in approval.
"Second question. Do you know where any of the others live? What rooms they usually stay in? I need to make the delivery in private. It is better that way."
It's a long shot, but no reason not to try it.
Spoiler: Map and notes (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 29, 2015, 10:18:40 am
I was under the assumption that this was not his block. But it turns out it is. Makes sense, I suppose. More chances to become friends if you spend your spare time together. Unless it's lying. But it doesn't look like a very good liar.
"Good. So he is here." Eta noded in approval.
"Second question. Do you know where any of the others live? What rooms they usually stay in? I need to make the delivery in private. It is better that way."
It's a long shot, but no reason not to try it.
"Well, they're the same exact room, so it doesn't matter where exactly each of us lives - I mean, we had our token spaces, but then Ziggy had us take down the names, you know, and so it's anyone's guess where any of the others live. Uh, I think. Maybe they all went to their own rooms? Ger lived next to the exit, to the right as we enter, and Bonzo lived to the left. Gamu was next on the right, and Teb on the left. And then there's me, Rachin, here at the end."
The shade, who you suppose is essentially, if not biologically a he, pauses for a moment.
"Is... this about Ziggy? Is he gonna be okay?" he asks uncertainly.
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 29, 2015, 10:47:36 am
Eta looked at the shade seriously.
"Yes, and yes, if I can help it. I am not here to hurt anyone. I'm just here to talk and maybe help a bit. Maybe not. We'll see how it goes."
That doesn't mean it won't happen though. I do have a job to do. I just have to hope that if things are that bad, then I can find another way.
"Why? I already know something is wrong with him, but is he really in so much trouble that it is life-threatening?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 29, 2015, 11:31:50 am
No point in lying.
Eta looked at the shade seriously.
"Yes, and yes, if I can help it. I am not here to hurt anyone. I'm just here to talk and maybe help a bit. Maybe not. We'll see how it goes."
That doesn't mean it won't happen though. I do have a job to do. I just have to hope that if things are that bad, then I can find another way.
"Why? I already know something is wrong with him, but is he really in so much trouble that it is life-threatening?"
"I've just never heard of anyone who's avoided a debt before. It seems a little ominous to me. Maybe all the successful ones never get found out. But I haven't heard of anyone who's tried and failed, either."
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 29, 2015, 01:05:48 pm
"How much does he owe, anyway? Is it so much that he can't pay?"
"Or is the question I should be asking be 'what does he owe'?" Eta added, remembering the system of exchange they had down here.
I would understand running away if the alternative was something like slavery.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 29, 2015, 02:01:15 pm
"Hm. That does sound ominous."
"How much does he owe, anyway? Is it so much that he can't pay?"
"Or is the question I should be asking be 'what does he owe'?" Eta added, remembering the system of exchange they had down here.
I would understand running away if the alternative was something like slavery.
"He, uh, took out a loan to do a little bit of investment trickery, get himself out of here, maybe us too. It... didn't seem like it worked out. So now we've been sticking together mostly, trying not to let anyone know who we are, sort of holing up to weather the storm until we figure out a way to pay Ziggy's loan back... and also accumulating loans of our own as we get people to cover his shift. It's... spiraling out of control."
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 29, 2015, 04:34:35 pm
"I don't mean to sound judgmental but that sounds like a really bad idea. I mean, really, really, really bad idea. You don't invest money you can't afford to lose. And you can't pay a debt by going further into debt. And you can't pay a debt by not working and hoping something will magically come along and solve all your problems. And you can't endanger your friends to do that. Ugh. Couldn't you get the money from a bank that gave 100 easy payments or something? Or just run away?"
Eta took a second to take a deep breath and compose herself.
"I'm sorry, it's not your fault. I just hate irresponsibility. I mean, to behave like that, it's just... Ugh."
"One final question." Eta said as she started removing a couple of pairs of golden high heels from her purse of holding and setting them down on the sarcophagus.
"What are your jobs. Oh and have there been any disagreements with the whole 'keep quiet and delay the inevitable' plan and if so, by whom?"
Post by: Toaster on March 30, 2015, 03:23:46 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 31, 2015, 12:36:30 pm
"Other fat guy said I had to make the place defensible, I did so. I'm clearly the ultimate person," he narrates as he walks back inside, only to immediately be met by a committee of all the other wizards... well, except Pete and the potato guy. So three fifths of the other wizards, and the good-looking lawyer lady.
"This place is now significantly more defended. I wouldn't recommend going outside... ever though, I'm not sure if the hookers would let you pass," he declares.
"Dude! Stellar work! Saw it from way up top," the other fat guy congratulates him. The approval makes THE DUNKER swell further than ever before. He is the beginning, and he shall be the end as well.
"Yeah, it's a pretty good start," says Jo, nodding approvingly. "There's still the windows, and each floor up to the fourth needs to have some sort of obstacle on it, is that right?"
"That's the short of it, yep. But if all goes as well as this did, heck, we'll be golden in no time. I'll try to landwarp the windows away on the upper floors, maybe you guys can figure something else out in the meantime? Anybody got better ideas?"
"I'll take the third one and do research there. Gotta figure out how to move the staircase," Paul mentions.
"It'll be more efficient if I do it on the second floor," says Jo. "That way you have to go through each level to get up."
"Uh, okay, makes sense."
"And when I'm done with the windows, I can take either the first floor or all floors above fourth. Which do ya want, riverman? Either way a fat guy's gotta go up many flights of stairs." asks the fat guy as the other two come to an agreement.
* * * * *
In the non-land of the potato, Halesey seeks compromise.
"Profligate? Screw you, man. I show you the path to the greatest power, and you call me a profligate? That was only low level gentleman’s literature, dude," he tells Hungry Pete, who seems to not have quite snapped out of whatever he's doing, or at least doing the very same thing as he was before.
"Look, we are servants of the potato now. We should be friends," he says, but realizes that Pete probably can't hear him. Oh well. It's time for more potato, as it were. Looking into the binder, Halesey accesses the potato within!
[Halesey's mind roll: 6-->1+1]
It is beautiful. It is grand. It is infinite and somewhere between gold and brown in color. Inhaling its aroma, Halesey twitches. It smells like a great many things. Light. Earth. Fire. Starch. Linda. Death. The future, still vast, dark, unknown to him. The power of the potato enters him, creating ever-novel combination of conventional spells and itself, bringing the man closer to true mastery of the noblest of all elements.
Spoiler: Halesey's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Snapping out of his momentary bit of research, Halesey addresses God once more.
"God, what is your will?"
"My will? I wish you, my prophet, to create a temple upon a leyline, dedicated to me, so that you and my other disciples may have a place outside of my realm to operate from. Even now they are separate from one another. I think Initiate Nigel floated off someplace, and Initiate Cadwallader has not appeared ever since he last left my sight."
Hungry Pete, for his part, appears to still be in a coma, probably one of his own making.
* * * * *
John, suddenly recalling the language of all civilized gnomes, addresses the vast amounts of nothing important before him.
"Greetings, gnomes and other assorted magical creatures. My name is John, and I bear you no malice. I am merely lost and looking for someone named Charlie to deliver this suitcase to. It isn't much, but I present you this gift of sausage in good will," he says, producing sausage from his pocket and biting a chunk off, then swallowing it to prove there probably isn't any cyanide in it. He places the rest, plus a few other sausages, in a pile on the ground, then takes a reverent step back. A few minutes pass, and John starts to get a little impatient, but then the sausages, all as one, disappear. Moments later, a creature appears.
It is slightly less than a meter tall, and reminds John of a velociraptor, except distinctly featherless, and with a shorter tail. As it looks upon John, it emits two primary things - first, there is a soft radiance coming off its flesh, bathing the surroundings in a pleasant light. It nearly brings a smile to John's face to look upon it, but then the second thing, a horrendous stench resembling that of a rotting corpse, hits his nose and nearly provokes a violent retch.
"I'm Charlie," says the saurian gnome in a vaguely pleased tone. It's clearly had its fill of your offering. "Are you delivering something to me? Why? I didn't order anything."
* * * * *
Eta tries to not sound judgmental.
"I don't mean to sound judgmental," she begins to talk at the shade, "but that sounds like a really bad idea. I mean, really, really, really bad idea. You don't invest money you can't afford to lose. And you can't pay a debt by going further into debt. And you can't pay a debt by not working and hoping something will magically come along and solve all your problems. And you can't endanger your friends to do that. Ugh. Couldn't you get the money from a bank that gave 100 easy payments or something? Or just run away?"
She takes a deep breath. The shade seems distraught, though she's not sure how she can tell.
"I'm sorry, it's not your fault. I just hate irresponsibility. I mean, to behave like that, it's just... Ugh. One final question," she says, setting down several golden shoes next to the nearby sarcophagus, as it's propped up against the wall and thus not really suited for setting things down upon, "what are your jobs? Oh, and have there been any disagreements with the whole 'keep quiet and delay the inevitable' plan and if so, by whom?"
"Well, we, uh, work at a manufacturing plant on one of the great lines... it's somewhere in the beginning, as we can't tell what it is we're making from what we can see. Most of us operate machinery like the, er, spiraling spectral lathe and other things, and I'm... well, I'm the scapegoat, mostly. I'm there to take the heat for inefficiency. They've got a fancy title for it, too."
The shade pauses, sighing.
"But... don't be too hard on Ziggy, okay? It was the only way out of this life. Purples have even worse interest rates at banks than at loan sharks. And the investment sounded really good. Jim Blessed was apparently interested in it before Ziggy, for what it's worth. And I don't even know if that's true anymore, but it sounded really true to him then, I think. And then when he'd get an orange designation, he said he'd help us after that, too. It was all for a good cause, you know?"
* * * * *
Larry places his faith in this guy he doesn't know but who seems magical enough to know what's up.
"You seem to know what's up, bro. Following you this time," he says. The guy looks at Tracey, who's still trying to shut the both of them out.
"Well, uh, I guess we... wait, here's an idea," the guy says, and the world around Larry and Tracey melts away, revealing what appears to be a vast meadow in spring, with blue skies and white clouds above. They appear to have landed outside a small white house, complete with a whitewashed fence, a mailbox about as classic-looking as one could imagine, the meadow grass neatly trimmed within the boundaries of the yard. The air here feels invigorating, and the bright red front door of the house is almost beguiling in its implied invitation.
"Home. Nice place, huh? I'm thinking of coming here when I, uh, retire," the guy explains, indicating the house with a broad sweep of his arm. "Uh, what do you think? Unassuming enough?"
Tracey, seemingly, has not let this sudden change of scenery slip her by.
"Whoa! Where are we now? Looks idyllic. Is it a painting?" she asks, walking in a direction away from the house slowly.
"It's, uh, not a painting. Well... maybe it is if you, uh, liberalize the definition. Maybe it's one of those... uh, dreams? But, like, more solid. Less fleeting. But maybe not by much."
"A mindscape!"
"Is that a real word?"
Tracey shrugs. "I dunno. It is inside your mindscape?"
* * * * *
When one mentions the Marigold Moore Public Library, it would scarcely be in connection with such paltry things as adventure, or indeed much at all. It's not even particularly notable in its own neighborhood, the now-devastated Retiree Row, or at least this was so in the recent past before a plummeting stegosaurus happened to crush the other, much better-equipped but much less fancifully named Hopkins Public Library. Now, though, it's much more of an interesting destination, especially in the last eight or so hours after the invasion of dinosaurs that drove off most of the previous people working there was defeated by a prodigious invasion of dogs seemingly made of solid gold - the details are unclear, as Retiree Row is largely empty of life at this stage, and indeed nobody would take note of the place at all were it not for the rather sizable billboard repurposed and carried over, then set up on the library's roof at a relatively great height - it says, peculiarly enough,
APPRENTICES WELCOME
MAGIC IS TAUGHT
APPLY INSIDE
Now, this is what people in the business of wisdom would call a blatantly obvious trap of some kind. Who would brave the threatening streets of Retiree Row and approach a building guarded by currently benign, but clearly dangerous hairless golden dogs of possibly Mexican origin in order to seek the further endangerment to their lives that knowing anything of magic provides? Moreover, who would be so hasty as to do so within the first hours of the offer being made?
Surprisingly, quite a few. First to arrive was a small tanned fellow with a most uncommon knowledge of chakras and the purifying nature of hard work in service of greater minds. His name is Samson, and he's been here a while already. The dogs have been eying him the entire time as he's sat at the reception desk, finding his almost immediate arrival entirely too suspicious.
This worked well for the next person to arrive, Joel, as all the suspicion that would normally be directed at him as someone who's obviously a government spook of some sort, or at least an overly excited agent for a possibly currently hypothetical (at least until he reports his findings and gets mad amounts of recognition on a federal level for it) government agency is instead squarely pointed at the weird guy who got here first with little to no adequate explanation.
Even better, soon yet more supplicants appear. Third to appear, seeking some explanation for a freak storm of the worst cocaine he's had in his life, was the recently detentacled man named Roger. He probably didn't have anywhere else to go for that kind of thing - with his luck, the authorities have cordoned off the entire alley and affected apartments in a misguided effort to figure out how the existence of magic impacts the war on drugs.
And finally, about ten minutes before now, a strangely happy-go-lucky individual, presumably the only one here without some form of vaguely sinister or mysterious happenstance to explain their arrival, only mere curiosity about the mysteries of high sorcery, is Tiana. It's almost surprising to her how none of these three other people say one word to her as she arrives, and so she takes the initiative and starts to introduce herself, only to be cut off as one of the golden dogs barks at her, its body ringing in a metallic manner as it explodes into sudden rage, only to calm down moments later. Further attempts to say anything are met with the same response, and even whispers elicit a growl from their keepers, and for a moment Tiana suspects that this may not have been such a good idea after all.
But she is reassured that all is well when a dog ambles down one of the nearby staircases, holding a large cardboard sign in its mouth, on which is written as if by a dog's paw dipped in ink...
THE MISTRESS WILL SEE YOU NOW
Ushered urgently by the golden hounds, all four quietly make their way up the scratched and partly broken wooden stairs and into a particularly dismal reading area, where an adolescent girl wearing an ill-fitting golden dress with red dragons on it combined with slightly better-fitting platform heels and a tacky mink coat. Her lips, ears and nose all pierced in several places, with the presumable originals replaced with much more expensive-looking and out-of-place jewelry, including what is obviously a small diamond earring hanging from her right nostril. She is reclining sideways atop a pile of discarded books as if it were a hoard, anticipating your arrival with a faint smile.
"You may speak now," she says with affected calm, softly giggling as she runs her hand over the pile of books. "Tell me of your desires."
The dogs nudge the supplicants a little harshly at this prompt in case they have become speechless at the glorious sight of the mistress.
* * * * *
The negotiation has gone on for long enough.
"-the problem's not the denture, dude, it's the lack of exclusivity, you catch my drift? What kind of god would I be if I didn't stick up for my ele-"
Charles snorts derisively at the unreasonable demand. Against the Denture God it is a surprisingly effective tactic, slave to public perception that it is.
"No! I'm not backing down on the principle. You can't have the denture and a burst of denture power if it doesn't limit you exclusively to denture magic. So either you take the denture without the exclusivity and get me another disciple for a burst of holy power, or you take the denture with the exclusivity and the holy burst of denture power and be satisfied. And that's that! You can't have the perks of both, and I am really sorry about that!"
It sounds like it means it, too. Perhaps there is an opportunity to be exploited here. Or perhaps the offer is plenty generous already. Most of all, though, Charles is glad that he managed to get the Denture God to understand the noises he makes. Wonder if regular mortals would find him just as intelligible. Or at least be so kind as to ask questions with binary answers.
Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on March 31, 2015, 12:46:37 pm
"I'm not entirely sure, sir. I was asked by an old man in an abandoned gas stop to deilver this briefcase to you, he also said not to open it. It seemed like a good idea not to ask question at that time."
He holds up the briefcase that is attached to his arm
"This is it. I'm just the messenger, so I don't really know anything else, I'm afraid."
Yo sugardaddy, any info on this guy? He doesn't look like any gnome I've ever imagined.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 31, 2015, 12:55:31 pm
(Can you jimmy around those gremlins or something? Their entire planet's in your domain.)
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 31, 2015, 12:57:32 pm
John does his very best to concentrate so hard on the pleasant light that he might forget the stench. He fails, but tries not to show it.
"I'm not entirely sure, sir. I was asked by an old man in an abandoned gas stop to deilver this briefcase to you, he also said not to open it. It seemed like a good idea not to ask question at that time."
He holds up the briefcase that is attached to his arm
"This is it. I'm just the messenger, so I don't really know anything else, I'm afraid."
Yo sugardaddy, any info on this guy? He doesn't look like any gnome I've ever imagined.
"I do not know this old man at an abandoned gas stop. If it's for me, it's probably poisoned. Poisoned and trapped. Are you sure it's for me?" the gnomosaur narrows its eyes, tilting its head this way and that.
~I have no earthly idea. He's tiny like a gnome while also being a dinosaur! And something else that's glowy as well! Mysterious. Can't get a read on him. Could that be the entire point? Obfuscation on levels scarcely dreamed of before? The mind retches with amazement!~
"Snort Grunt"
(Can you jimmy around those gremlins or something? Their entire planet's in your domain.)
"Why? They're not doing anything, and it's only in my domain for seconds at a time. It's somewhere else the rest of it. And anyway, what's that got to do with me giving you non-exclusive magic?"
Post by: Pancaek on March 31, 2015, 01:03:45 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 31, 2015, 01:10:01 pm
"I was specifically told to deliver this to Charlie in Greenblatt Park. I actually managed to get lost on my way here and met a beavergnome, who also pointed me in this direction."
"Well, this isn't Greenblatt Park. Have you tried delivering it to Charlie on Jew Street? How about Charlie who lives upstate? Greenblatt Park's in town, for Pete's sake. You know where that is?"
The gnome shakes its dinosaur head disapprovingly.
"That's a rhetorical question. Of course you don't. Let's just fast track the process, huh? Put your hand - your free hand - in my mouth and we'll get to business," the creature says, opening a small, yet nevertheless formidable toothy maw. The stench intensifies as it breathes in your direction.
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 31, 2015, 01:13:53 pm
"I am sorry for disturbing you. I hope that is enough to compensate you. And to thank you for your help. You're a good ma- shade."
Eta started walking out but paused.
"Just one more thing. Do you know anything about the investment or the loan? Do you know who loaned him or how much he owes?"
Post by: Pancaek on March 31, 2015, 01:18:21 pm
"So, the beavergnome did lie to me after all. But really, what's the worst that could happen when I put my hand in your mouth. I'm sure I really care anymore."
Trust mister dinosaur, put free hand in his mouth.
Post by: lawastooshort on March 31, 2015, 01:19:04 pm
Post by: Jamahawk on March 31, 2015, 01:36:33 pm
"I am here to investigate the source of the strange occurrences in the area. I must uncover the origin of this magic, and is there no better way than to go directly to one that is advertised this boldly?"
Joel stands up a bit straighter, having been direct, and waits for her to speak again.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 31, 2015, 01:56:38 pm
"I understand. I will try my best."
"I am sorry for disturbing you. I hope that is enough to compensate you. And to thank you for your help. You're a good ma- shade."
Eta started walking out but paused.
"Just one more thing. Do you know anything about the investment or the loan? Do you know who loaned him or how much he owes?"
"This guy named... what was it, Hugh Vizza? Hugh Vazzam? Something like that. And the amount owed, that's, erm, tricky to discover. You have to ask around to find out, and then they ask what your name is, and then it gets really tense, I think. The original favor was a... trip to the surface and back, which is, uh, kind of a lot, and the interest's murder, and since it's favors we're dealing with the creditors can get... er... a little creative. Especially with markups for lateness."
Joel raises an eyebrow at this unusual and, no doubt, magically inclined figure reclining before him. Then, he looks around the room at the gilded hairless Chihuahuas, taking a mental count.
"I am here to investigate the source of the strange occurrences in the area. I must uncover the origin of this magic, and is there no better way than to go directly to one that is advertised this boldly?"
Joel stands up a bit straighter, having been direct, and waits for her to speak again.
Not quite Chihuahuas. A bit more wolfish, and about the size of an average dog. And also a little freaky-looking. There's three in the room, standing at the backs of you and the others. They don't seem very friendly.
The mistress smiles vacantly, touching her lips with her fingers lightly as she rests her chin in her hand. "So you have found me. And now...?"
Post by: Toaster on March 31, 2015, 01:57:51 pm
Barge in!
Post by: Jamahawk on March 31, 2015, 02:30:27 pm
Joel clenches his hands nervously, slightly embarrassed that he did not convey his intentions thoroughly the first time. Remembering his etiquette, he removes his fedora.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 31, 2015, 03:04:39 pm
(Hey! I don't know how any of this bullshit actually works! I was hoping that using a different magical creature as a relay or something would provide a loophole of some kind. Speaking of. Have you found a pattern of any kind for where they show up? I could get some gremlin priests or something.)
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 31, 2015, 03:09:43 pm
Spoiler: Map (click to show/hide)
Exit and close the door.
"Good. I think I know where he is. Just one more quick check and then we can finish this. Unlock this one for me? Or do you have something to say?"
Indicate the door marked F on the map.
Assuming the law shade unlocks the door and doesn't do anything else, say the following as I open the door.
"Hello. Now that wasn't very polite."
Actions/words will follow based on what I see inside.
Post by: lawastooshort on March 31, 2015, 03:16:34 pm
"Ah. Pete. I need you to kind of, revive, man. I think... I don't know why I feel this, but I think potato jihad is on."
Benjamin Halesey, Prophet of the One Potato God, feels fear. But at the same time he feels oneness. Wholeness. Certainty. For the first time in what seems like months he thinks of his brief but deep acquaintance, Larry, and hopes he does not have to potato jihad him. He looks towards God.
"God, I shall do as you wish. But I ask you two things: first, can you make your three initiates appear before me, conscious, and inform them of this Holy Task? And second, will you please forgive me for the impertinence what I am about to do?"
Cast Empathise with Potatoes at God.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 31, 2015, 03:38:33 pm
"And now, I would like to inquire about the origins of the power you seem to hold."
Joel clenches his hands nervously, slightly embarrassed that he did not convey his intentions thoroughly the first time. Remembering his etiquette, he removes his fedora.
She stares at you with a satisfied look, slowly blinking.
"You would? The answer would be me, I'll tell you already," she tells you slowly, her smile slowly becoming a grin.
"SQEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLLL Snuffle"
(Hey! I don't know how any of this bullshit actually works! I was hoping that using a different magical creature as a relay or something would provide a loophole of some kind. Speaking of. Have you found a pattern of any kind for where they show up? I could get some gremlin priests or something.)
"I've been trying to talk to you these past few hours! I haven't figured out a thing! And hey, if you want to take anything up with the gremlin kings, be my guest! Would save me some grief if you just went and took care of this on your own without badgering me for help if you don't actually want what I can give you."
"Hm. I see. Goodbye Gef. I hope we do not meet again under the same circumstances."
Exit and close the door.
"Good. I think I know where he is. Just one more quick check and then we can finish this. Unlock this one for me? Or do you have something to say?"
Indicate the door marked F on the map.
Assuming the law shade unlocks the door and doesn't do anything else, say the following as I open the door.
"Hello. Now that wasn't very polite."
Actions/words will follow based on what I see inside.
"I hope so, too. But thank you for listening," Gef says as you leave.
Once you are in the corridor and ask the law-shade for its opinion, its non-interventionist policy no doubt allowing all manner of unvoiced insights to develop.
"These shades require a harsher touch," it says when prompted. "The one you spoke to could have been broken with insistence. Revealed something it was holding back. Though your method reveals other avenues as well."
With that, it unlocks the hatch indicated, and it opens inwards, revealing... not much, really. It's the same sort of room as you've seen already, cramped and lacking in amenities, the sarcophagus looming in the distance entirely closed.
From behind the open hatch you hear a nervous sound, a startled movement. Looking down, you spot two shadowy legs running down beneath it. A feeble attempt at hiding oneself. Though you admit it does seem rather good at blending in with the drab metal walls.
Post by: Xantalos on March 31, 2015, 03:44:23 pm
Head up/down to the first floor if I'm not already there and summon many platoons of Foreign Pork Queens. An unreasonable amount.
Command them to spread out and take strategic positions so as to effectively guard the entire floor from anything except me and the other magicians I'm with. Maybe also go around putting Walls of Enchanted Traffic Lights up in spots that could be defended better to give the queens some fortifications.
((This action's gonna take a while.))
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 31, 2015, 03:52:15 pm
"Oh, will you look at that. This room appears to be completely and utterly empty and I have no reason to doubt that. I sure hope nobody is hiding in here, because I tend to react violently and cast horrible spells to rude people who surprise me. So if anyone was hiding in here, it would probably be best for them to politely announce their presence, step out of their hiding place and greet me."
As Eta finished talking in a loud and exaggerated manner, she started taking slow and loud steps towards the entrance of the room.
Post by: Harry Baldman on March 31, 2015, 04:00:04 pm
Firm? Okay. Let's try firm.
"Oh, will you look at that. This room appears to be completely and utterly empty and I have no reason to doubt that. I sure hope nobody is hiding in here, because I tend to react violently and cast horrible spells to rude people who surprise me. So if anyone was hiding in here, it would probably be best for them to politely announce their presence, step out of their hiding place and greet me."
As Eta finished talking in a loud and exaggerated manner, she started taking slow and loud steps towards the entrance of the room.
"I would really rather you left my room," the shade says very tensely. "I don't want to speak with anyone. I'm really in a very bad state of mind right now, and the sudden appearance of visitors is not making things much better."
Post by: Parisbre56 on March 31, 2015, 04:13:35 pm
Enter the room and face its hiding place.
"But, as long as I'm here, why don't you try talking about what troubles you? It helps ease the burden of your problems when you share them with another. I bet recent experience has shown that to you. Together in the promise of success, together in failure."
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on March 31, 2015, 04:47:52 pm
(Okay okay I'm sorry. Let's just go over the situation again. Then maybe we can think about it in a more logical fashion.)
Post by: wipeout1024 on March 31, 2015, 05:12:25 pm
"Well, my desire is to learn magic, and that's pretty much the only thing I came for.
After saying this, she continues to look around the library.
Post by: flabort on March 31, 2015, 06:59:52 pm
"I desire a hot dog. And maybe some way to protect myself, since I was perfectly happy until I was disturbed by... well, you may not want to know. Magic sounds like a good defense against magic, at least, so I came here. So, uh... are these dogs yours?"
Post by: Nunzillor on March 31, 2015, 08:12:02 pm
What do I want? I want the truth. Tell me, what true sorcerer gives away her secrets to whoever shows up at a library?
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 01, 2015, 09:54:38 am
"As much as I'd like to, I'm afraid I can't do that. I can't leave until I've delivered my message."
Enter the room and face its hiding place.
"But, as long as I'm here, why don't you try talking about what troubles you? It helps ease the burden of your problems when you share them with another. I bet recent experience has shown that to you. Together in the promise of success, together in failure."
The shade pokes its head out along the side of the hatch. Just as purple-eyed and featureless as any other.
"A message? For Bonzo, I'd guess. Rest of us haven't done anything wrong. You gonna break his legs in three places each, then? It's been long enough already, hasn't it?"
"Sniff Sniff"
(Okay okay I'm sorry. Let's just go over the situation again. Then maybe we can think about it in a more logical fashion.)
"Oh no you don't! That tactic may have worked the first twenty times you did it, but not this time. Just pick one already, denture magic plus a touch of holiness, nonspecific magic without a touch of holiness. You can't have nonspecific magic with a touch of holiness, no way, nuh uh, not ever. Now pick already and leave me alone!"
Tiana looks around in amazement, and turns to face the woman.
"Well, my desire is to learn magic, and that's pretty much the only thing I came for.
After saying this, she continues to look around the library.
Many of the bookcases are overturned, books spilled out on the ground in a disorganized mess. A few places in the ceiling have cracks or holes, and water damage is evident beneath these on both the books and the floor. There's a conspicuous trace of red off in one of the aisles, though nothing remains other than a stain on the carpet.
As you state your goals, however, the mistress fetches a book from behind her and slides it over to you along the ground - one of the dogs springs to the front to intercept it, arresting its progress with a paw, snuffling as it navigates its snout over the thing, then shoving it in your direction once again. It lands at your feet. The cover says "Crystallokinesis: A Different Kind of Physics", and seems adorned with all kind of new-age mysterious symbols.
"Take the book, tear out a page, burn it and watch the flame," the mistress of magic herself says slowly and deliberately. "I like your style," she adds. "Straightforward-like."
Roger looks unimpressed.
"I desire a hot dog. And maybe some way to protect myself, since I was perfectly happy until I was disturbed by... well, you may not want to know. Magic sounds like a good defense against magic, at least, so I came here. So, uh... are these dogs yours?"
"Yeah, they are. Have a book, too. Same deal, burn a page, watch the flame," she says, sliding a book over to you as well - the dogs don't appear to care about this one, and you notice that it veers wildly off-target, almost getting shuffled into one of the dogs now pacing behind you. It has "Longing in the Jungle" written on the cover, and features a shirtless man sitting on a tree branch with an intense look on his face, with a half-transparent, odd face of a generic woman in the background.
Samson was tired. He was tired of fruitless groveling, of empty ritual, of fake mysticism and false mystery. First thing's first, he had to know if this was for real.
What do I want? I want the truth. Tell me, what true sorcerer gives away her secrets to whoever shows up at a library?
She rolls her eyes at the question, her expression becoming a little more animated, though her speech remains slow and, you think, a little bit slurred.
"All true sorcerers, genius. Beats having to drag you in one by one," she says derisively. "Take a book, burn a page, watch the flame," she says, passing a book to the space right next to you. It's a copy of Hodgman's All-Purpose Compendium, Volume 15. "Then we can... talk more."
Post by: Nunzillor on April 01, 2015, 10:05:31 am
Take the old lighter out of my pocket and light a page on fire. Look into the flames, skeptically.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 01, 2015, 10:20:58 am
Observe his reaction.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 01, 2015, 10:29:36 am
(If I chose regular magic and become more powerful can I get a holy bonus of denture magic later? Either way I'll just spread your gospel and find a new high priest. RIP Dave.)
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 01, 2015, 11:09:57 am
"Nothing that violent, not unless he is uncooperative. I am here to deliver a message, investigate and if I find it appropriate, take whatever action I consider to be right. That doesn't sound as bad as it could be, does it Gamu?"
Observe his reaction.
He seems distinctly unimpressed. And as you speak, though, you see the fear it previously had dissipate as it comes to a realization.
"Wait. You wouldn't be from topside, would you? You don't have the feel of a surfaced legbreaker," it asks curiously.
"Snuffle Sniff"
(If I chose regular magic and become more powerful can I get a holy bonus of denture magic later? Either way I'll just spread your gospel and find a new high priest. RIP Dave.)
"Oh, sure. Bring me a high priest after you've got some magic and then we'll be in business. I could give you a holy denture to give to the chosen one, even. Just as long as we get this business over with, finally. I mean, geez."
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 01, 2015, 11:14:33 am
And no, I rarely break legs myself. I usually have others do it for me whenever it is necessary."
...
Does he even have bones? Why's he so worried about his legs?
Not to mention that breaking someone's legs will probably make getting him to pay you back even less likely.
Unless they have good insurance.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 01, 2015, 11:40:12 am
"I am a human witch. From the surface. I thought that was obvious. Why? Who or what did you think I was?
And no, I rarely break legs myself. I usually have others do it for me whenever it is necessary."
...
Does he even have bones? Why's he so worried about his legs?
Not to mention that breaking someone's legs will probably make getting him to pay you back even less likely.
Unless they have good insurance.
"I see. When I spotted you, I thought you were one of us. Well, not one of us - a more affluent type. The kind with a boss who sends them up on a token mission to the surface so they can look as unnerving as possible and then sends them down to put the fear into the likes of me. But you're actually from up there, aren't you?"
The shade pauses, thinking carefully, and then resumes speaking, now a little more respectfully.
"Well. That does change things. Would you be amenable to making a deal?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 01, 2015, 12:17:28 pm
(Geeze I know right what was it three, four variable eternities? Time is dumb. LET'S DO IT!)
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 01, 2015, 12:18:21 pm
"I do not have all the information I would like to have yet... But I would be willing to hear you out, at least. See if what you say aligns with what I am currently thinking of doing. I am nothing, if not reasonable. What kind of deal are you thinking about?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 01, 2015, 01:03:39 pm
"I do not have all the information I would like to have yet... But I would be willing to hear you out, at least. See if what you say aligns with what I am currently thinking of doing. I am nothing, if not reasonable. What kind of deal are you thinking about?"
"I don't know, I just thought of us maybe making a deal. I mean, you're here, and you're likely to be the only surface person I'll ever see in my entire existence, so why not go for broke? I could tell you my name in return for some convincing-looking surface stuff. Maybe a handful of your hair? I could maybe sell it to someone for a little profit. An article of clothing would be a finished good, so that'd get you even more stuff. Maybe you can put in a good word about me to whoever took you here, if anyone? I'd be pretty damn grateful for that."
In a single motion he closes the hatch, keeping both you and the law-shade inside.
"But first, let's isolate ourselves from possible listeners. I'd rather they didn't know which one I am. There have been issues. And fights."
Post by: Jamahawk on April 01, 2015, 04:55:59 pm
"If I get nothing else out of this visit, I might as well take one of the vast amount of literary works cluttering this room. Mistress, I will have a book please, and you can just hand me mine."
He begins to walk close enough for a book to be handed to him.
Post by: flabort on April 01, 2015, 08:10:28 pm
"I... see. Just burn this, uh, 'Longing' book and look at the flames? I don't think I'll have a problem with the first part."
Tear out the front two pages, roll them into a cone and light the wide top. Watch it burn.
Post by: wipeout1024 on April 02, 2015, 04:05:25 am
Find a book, rip out a page from the middle, and light it.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 02, 2015, 05:57:25 am
"I would appreciate any help you could offer me for finding Bonzo, sharing any relevant information. Like information about those fights for example."
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 02, 2015, 11:43:06 am
Joel stands next to Samson as he ignites the flammable paper. Surely magic was not as simple as that.
"If I get nothing else out of this visit, I might as well take one of the vast amount of literary works cluttering this room. Mistress, I will have a book please, and you can just hand me mine."
He begins to walk close enough for a book to be handed to him.
As you start to step toward her, she throws a random book at your hands in an ungainly fashion. It goes somewhat to your right, but you manage to catch it without much problem. This one seems to be called "The First Temptation of Eadar".
"Good catch. And same deal for you as for the others."
"I could try talking to someone about you, but I cannot guarantee the results. I do have items I could give you, mobile phones, matchboxes, even some of my hair or clothes if you really want them. I gave one of the others here some golden shoes for his help in helping me find Bonzo."
"I would appreciate any help you could offer me for finding Bonzo, sharing any relevant information. Like information about those fights for example."
"A handful of hair, and you get the name of the guy living opposite me. The one he says he has, anyway. A surface artifact - a genuine one, especially a document of some sort - and I tell you about the fights. I don't actually know who Bonzo is, but I can tell you a few things anyway."
"Who helped you, by the way? Could be important."
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 02, 2015, 12:58:24 pm
"You won't do anything to hurt him, will you? It wouldn't be good for my reputation if I betrayed my sources. I mean, what would you think if I gave out your name to someone who would become angry about this?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 02, 2015, 02:29:13 pm
"Okay, I can do that. Sounds useful." Eta searched around in her bag a bit. "I don't suppose you have a pair of scissors?"
"You won't do anything to hurt him, will you? It wouldn't be good for my reputation if I betrayed my sources. I mean, what would you think if I gave out your name to someone who would become angry about this?"
"No scissors. And I'd like to know mostly because it'd be informative on who's who, possibly, since I know at least one of these guys would tell you exactly jack shit no matter what you did to him, and one other's pretty unlikely to even talk to you in the first place."
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 02, 2015, 03:01:30 pm
Eta turned to look at the lawshade.
"What about you, any scissors? Or a way to cut my hair? Without pulling them out, of course."
Post by: Jamahawk on April 02, 2015, 04:46:17 pm
Light a blank page, there always seems to be one, with the flame of Samson's burning page.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 02, 2015, 05:31:37 pm
"Oh, all right then. It was Gef. In Gef's room. At least according to what he told me."
Eta turned to look at the lawshade.
"What about you, any scissors? Or a way to cut my hair? Without pulling them out, of course."
"Interesting," the shade notes half to himself as you confer with the law-shade, who responds to your inquiry by pointing its finger at you. It elongates and thins out, reaching toward your hair. When it touches your head, it tingles slightly. You feel mildly uneasy about moving in any direction from it.
"I have never tried it. But this may do," it says, drawing the finger back a little and swiping it sideways no more than a millimeter. You feel infinitesimally lighter.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 02, 2015, 05:46:13 pm
Very slowly turn around to face the screen and look at my reflection on the screen. How much hair is missing? Is my head going to slide off at any moment?
Is it a good hair cut?
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 03, 2015, 09:06:19 am
"So, the beavergnome did lie to me after all. But really, what's the worst that could happen when I put my hand in your mouth. I'm sure I really care anymore," he says, placing his hand in the foul maw of the tiny saurian creature. The gnome begins to say something, but then realizes it would be better served by keeping its mouth open. Its tongue feels up John's hand in an uncomfortable fashion, and then it snaps its jaw shut, sharp teeth pressing, though not quite puncturing John's hand. A brief instant of intense discomfort goes through his spine, and he closes his eyes.
When he opens them, he's in a familiar place. It's the park. The place where he took Menkau the first time, Greenblatt Park, placed on a hillside. It looks peculiarly normal, and John casts his eye about for a second to check for hideous beast anywhere. None present themselves, a couple small, rather peaceful-looking dinosaurs aside. Speaking of, the dinognome, or dignome or whatever the name is for this kind of thing, is nowhere to be seen. His hand, too, appears to be free now.
There's two people in the park as far as John can see. One is an ancient woman sitting on a park bench next to a public bathroom, looking absently into the distance. The other is a little boy who seems to have climbed halfway up a large gingko. And also what he thinks is a two-legged piglet suddenly falling out of a portal, getting covered in a mountainous load of false teeth in short order, the familiar portal above it closing just as suddenly as it appeared. Indeed, the event was so quick, he suspects nobody in the park other than him probably saw it happen. This is probably nothing out of the ordinary around here anyway.
* * * * *
Larry feels compelled to productivity, possibly due to the recent influx of power he's got.
"Now you're making up words. Let's go!" he says, charging toward the red front door of the house.
"Uh..." the guy starts to say, but Larry's already at the door. Into the door. Through the door, as if the door wasn't even there.
On the other side, Larry observes a mountain of glassy ice set in the middle of an icy desert, atop which stands a great gleaming dome of steel and glass. The skies remain clear, though no trace of the meadow remains on this side - the door still stands behind him, still closed, set into an inverted house with interiors on the outside. The cold on this side is intense, and within moments Larry begins to freeze, though he suddenly feels merely invigorated as the guy steps in through the door, followed closely by Tracey.
"That's a strange thing to have inside your house," she says, pointing at the mountain.
"Yeah. Kind of, uh, unexpected, I guess. And not permanent. But that's the way this... erm, plane works."
* * * * *
"Ah. Pete. I need you to kind of, revive, man. I think... I don't know why I feel this, but I think potato jihad is on," says Halesey, since Hungry Pete's condition seems to be turning highly worrying. He'll probably snap out of it, right? Right, Halesey guesses, and turns to God.
"God, I shall do as you wish. But I ask you two things: first, can you make your three initiates appear before me, conscious, and inform them of this Holy Task? And second, will you please forgive me for the impertinence what I am about to do?"
"I may try on both accounts," says God as Halesey tries for the first time to exercise his powers of potato empathy on Him, perhaps unwisely for a first-time user.
[Halesey's affinity roll: 6-->2+1+1]
Halesey feels himself become small, smaller than anything he has ever known, as he starts to feel as God does, the center of all things potato, through every potato and as every potato, and through all four of His acolytes as well. The dreams of Nigel's uneasy sleep, the morbid curiosity of Cadwallader as he considers Anthony's offer deep inside the bowels of Hell in an office sorely lacking in oxygen, the difference made up with air freshener to provide a modicum of livability, the seething, murderous rage of Hungry Pete as his mind runs through the potentialities of potato, and the unified need of growth, proliferation and sacrifice that all potatoes are dominated by. The strange mix of curiosity and amusement as God regards this latest move on Halesey's part. And finally, almost outshining all else, a supernatural strangeness worming its way into Halesey's mind, filling him with riddles of existence, a feeling of the impermanence of reality itself, and a million other smaller, larger doubts that pull him in every direction, his mind beginning to fragment from information overload.
"That is rather impertinent," God says. "But forgivable. Perhaps necessary."
The connection abruptly cuts off, leaving Halesey with an immense potato-shaped void in his mind that dwarfs all he has previously known, and which he may now know no more. He feels incredibly small still, insignificant before the glory of God.
"Gah," says Hungry Pete, his eyes open, the potatoes calmer now. "This may do for now," he adds, seemingly to himself, disregarding Halesey entirely.
"Now then, my prophet. Your task is clear, I presume. I have communed with the others as well. Hopefully they will see fit to assist you, though for two of them it seems unlikely."
* * * * *
THE DUNKER takes the path of least stair climbing, as expected.
"I'll take the first floor. I can put a ton of those pork queen ladies on it to fight whoever tries to get up, except us."
"Wouldn't rely on the pork queens, bud. They don't last very long," the fat guy says. "But try anyway. Who knows, maybe there'll be an exception there someplace."
With that, the other magicians leave to take care of their respective business, and THE DUNKER goes on to transform the first floor.
[Affinity roll: 4+2]
Firstly, to test the fat guy's assertion, he summons a platoon of foreign pork queens and sets them to oversee one of the back entrances, and tries making some walls next.
[Affinity roll: 2+1]
The wall turns out to be chest-high and kind of short, in addition to being placed in the middle of the area next to the staircase like a bit of cover for a shootout. It has a great sense of permanency about it, though, which seems nice. And the traffic lights even seem to be working!
[Affinity roll: 3+2]
The next wall, which THE DUNKER uses to wall off the loading bay entrance, appears to show up with an exact duplicate propped up next to it, not doing anything in particular. THE DUNKER briefly wonders if he could order it to go anywhere, but it doesn't respond.
[Affinity roll: 1-->2+1]
The next wall, which he places in the loading bay to further wall it off from the rest of the building, works rather well before he realizes he's still in the loading bay and is now walled off from the rest of the building. Hm. Wonder if there's spells that'd do the job faster here.
* * * * *
Their books received, the wizards-to-be in the Marigold Moore Public Library do as they have been told - burn a page, watch the flame. Severely lacking enthusiasm, Samson is the first to give it the old college try, not bothering to tear out a page before attempting to light it with his lighter - it catches fire readily, and starts to burn in his hand - just the single page and no others, the flame colorless. Invisible, perhaps? A strange trick. Samson considers the flame carefully, and finds that he forgets himself, his mind wandering in the direction of...
[Samson's mind roll: 6-->1-1]
... eoliths. Eoliths are crudely chipped flint nodules first collected in England by some fellow who ostensibly enjoyed rocks way back when. Their resemblance to crude stone tools led educated blokes to conclude that they were made by people way back before the ice age, and from there on in eoliths were proof that other blokes lived there a long time ago for quite a few years before an enterprising Frenchman had the idea that a glacier could do the same thing with a piece of flint. Some guy named Hazzledine then checked the truth of this in what must have been an entertaining afternoon, and said this was a legit idea and that probably eoliths were totally natural, and later people agreed. Nowadays an eolith is just another funny-looking piece of chipped flint as a result of this groundbreaking research.
Spoiler: Samuel's Potential Spell (click to show/hide)
Roger, similarly unexcited, tears out two of the pages of his book and rolls them up into a fine-looking cone, which lights readily and starts to burn with a deep red flame that catches Roger's eye in quite a transfixing, unique fashion...
[Roger's mind roll: 5]
He finds himself where he must be, but cannot bear - the city of Brazzaville, deep in the Congo, among the ranks of the Foreign Legion, many of them with as many regrets as he. Morosely emerging from the warm waters of the Zaire, his flawless physique glistening in the sunlight, he makes his way to a clearer area where he had laid down a towel with his uniform atop it. Whipping himself to and fro, shaking off the shimmering droplets from his muscular body and golden hair, he starts to get dressed, the feeling of the water sure to stay with him throughout the oppressively hot and humid day. Turning to face the opposite bank in reflection of the past two hours, he briefly spots a woman on the other side. For a fleeting moment, she looks incredibly familiar to Roger, his mind readily falling into a familiar track, his mouth curving into a smile, his arms rising to greet the woman, and for an instant, he can almost hear that voice again...
Spoiler: Roger's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Tiana is next, readily pulling out a random page from the middle and setting it alight, the white flame filling her sight, blocking out all other thought, silencing the sounds of the dogs and the thoughtful gurgling of the other learning wizards.
[Tiana's mind roll: 1-->5]
There's a great deal of subtlety and chakraic possibilities when practicing crystallokinesis for emotional benefits, and especially noteworthy in this case is the location from which the crystal is obtained - many report feeling uneasiness, fear, a sense of alienation, and often rightly so, because most often their first choice is the same mail-order crystal that they would use for other purposes. The key thing to remember here is that 99.99% of all mail-order crystals have actually been mined in Africa by slaves in the very worst of conditions, and it is difficult to find much other than the miserable spirit of the land in them. So if you want to attain much in the way of benefit when performing crystallokinetic experiments, you need to contact a local supplier of crystals, such as Madeesh Associates on the East Coast or Millsworth & Dane - often this carries a greater cost due to the difficulty of locating energetic crystals in our vibration-negative environment, but we have extensively tested and found that they work up to five times better at channeling emotions of happiness, productivity and intimacy...
Spoiler: Tiana's New Spell (click to show/hide)
Joel, who up until this point has been busy ascertaining that his book appears to be "science fiction" from 1961 written by somebody named "P.T. Kerning" and published by something called "Gnome Press". It's a hardcover, well-used, shelf-worn, still with a dust jacket, even, though that seems to have no synopsis on it, just a catalog of other books from this "Gnome Press" to be found in your favorite bookstore somewhere in NY with some seemingly reasonable prices listed next to them. Of special note on the front cover is a slight "and other stories" appended underneath the title. The dust jacket's front cover also features a wide-eyed, hairy man in a dark brown suit, flanked by astronomical phenomena on either side. Leafing through the book, Joel discovers a few blank pages, and carefully rips one out, then uses Samson's kindly provided flame to set his own blank page on fire. Sadly, though, nothing appears to happen as the page burns to a crisp, even as the other wizards stare at their flames and gurgle thoughtfully, snapping back into normality after a few moments.
"Now," the mistress of magic says slowly. "Anybody got any questions?"
* * * * *
Charles agrees to the bargain at last, and accepts the power of magic much like his predecessor/father/acquaintance.
"Okay then, let's get it done!"
[Charles' mind roll: 2+1]
Charles' mind is momentarily flooded with sliding, gnashing, chopping teeth, running along him at speeds most extreme. Or is he running along them? Sliding on for a few seconds, he stops when he smashes into what feels like a pane of glass, shards flying everywhere, one particularly slow sliver slicing into his flesh and then staying there, markedly unlike the others.
Spoiler: Charles' New Spell (click to show/hide)
As soon as he returns to what could loosely be described as consciousness, Charles notices the Denture God, still quite impatient, it seems.
"Done. Now, take a denture."
A single horrendous jaw of teeth flies into Charles, burrowing into his flesh bloodlessly, but surprisingly painfully.
"And now, the portal."
A portal appears beneath Charles, evidently leading to the world where Dave was from - who knows what it might be like? Charles, fortunately, gets to find out extra quick, as he is rocketed out of the portal and into what appears to be a park - he doesn't get to appreciate the view much before he disappears underneath a massive amount of dentures pouring down from the portal above. The pour, fortunately, judging by the lack of mounting pressure, seems to stop in short order, but this still leaves the problem of his burial in an unfamiliar place.
* * * * *
Eta feels some instinctive nervousness at the law-shade's finger, forgetting for a moment that her neck is probably thicker than a millimeter. She starts to slowly turn her head at the screen in the room, prepared for the worst, and finds herself not decapitated yet. Probably. The reflection's a little muddled and the room's a little too dimly lit to get great fidelity on the image.
"Hold still. I have not cut more than a single bit yet," the law-shade says, and elongates its finger further, pressing its razor-sharp edge to the back of her head along a surprisingly long straight line. The touch of the shade is freezing cold.
With another small movement, Eta feels the razor-finger run along the back of her scalp, for a very small distance once again, maybe a few millimeters this time. The feeling of lightness intensifies a little. With its other hand it quickly seizes the falling bit of red hair, and hands it to the other shade. Since she can't quite see what was done, Eta runs her hand through her hair to check what's missing, which turns out to be a perfectly vertical strip of hair on the back of her head, off the the side, just off the right ear, in fact. She shudders to think what it must look like.
"Very good," says the shade, grabbing what looks like slightly more than a handful of hair. "Guy living opposite me calls himself Gef Rachin. You probably talked to him already, but a deal's a deal, no?"
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 03, 2015, 09:54:29 am
Post by: Nunzillor on April 03, 2015, 10:05:48 am
Wide-eyed, Samson turned towards Joel. "Did you see it too? Eoliths? And something about pugs?"
No matter the answer, Samson next addressed the "mistress." "This book... it seems to have granted me a petal from the lotus-heart itself. Thank you... I have searched for such power my entire life. But, if I may speak my thoughts, you can't have found this power on your own. Where did you take it from?"
Spoiler: Samson spells (click to show/hide)
Post by: Toaster on April 03, 2015, 10:50:41 am
Post by: flabort on April 03, 2015, 11:07:03 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 03, 2015, 02:26:17 pm
How... how could it be? Samson had studied for years without a scrap of power to show for it, yet this young and possibly drunk girl had discovered the secrets of the universe? How...
Wide-eyed, Samson turned towards Joel. "Did you see it too? Eoliths? And something about pugs?"
No matter the answer, Samson next addressed the "mistress." "This book... it seems to have granted me a petal from the lotus-heart itself. Thank you... I have searched for such power my entire life. But, if I may speak my thoughts, you can't have found this power on your own. Where did you take it from?"
She smirks.
"Nowhere, friendo. Came to me in a dream. What you're looking at here is the original. The natural, you know?"
Larry shivered in the newfound cold. "Where's my enlightenment and power here, dude?"
"Uh, none here. This is just my, uh, personal plane of existence. Left all the enlightenment and power in, you know, places that I'm intending that other people will go to. Uh, present company excluded. So, uh, no treasure to be had here, this is just for fun," the guy shrugs.
"I'm having fun! And fun's the best treasure. Unless... hey, I can't keep anything I find in a mindscape, right?"
"Depends. Uh, you want anything in particular?"
"Nah, just anything kinda funny-looking. For the memories, you know?"
"Only that that felt weird and I hope I didn't do anything weird while that was happening. Can it be... oh, what's the word... repeated for more magic?"
"Ayup. That's the idea."
Post by: Jamahawk on April 03, 2015, 02:34:31 pm
"What are you talking about, 'Eoliths'? Did you take in a bit too much of the fumes from the chemicals that made your page burn like that? No, I saw nothing like that. Actually, I saw nothing but the flame of the page. I guess this is a dead end. I knew magic couldn't be so simple. Though, what was your book about?"
Skim the first page of the book. Then, tear it out, borrow a lighter, and burn it.
Post by: Toaster on April 03, 2015, 02:39:34 pm
Try to manifest some lightning bolts!
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 03, 2015, 02:52:59 pm
Something at the back of Larry's head twinged. "So... if it's not real, we should be able to affect it, right? Let me try!"
Try to manifest some lightning bolts!
Lightning bolts fail to appear at your bidding.
"Nah. You can, uh, kind of affect it, but indirectly. Like you running in here and making me, uh, well, think of something that might be inside. And then something I don't expect appears instead. That's basically how it works. And it's, uh, totally real, actually, it's just that, uh, how should I put this... well, 'real' means something different to me than it does to you."
"Oh! Are you one of those Spanish people? You don't have the right accent!"
"Not that different. Uh, not that category of different."
Post by: Xantalos on April 03, 2015, 02:57:46 pm
Post by: wipeout1024 on April 03, 2015, 03:50:02 pm
I pick 1.
Spoiler: Tiana's Spells: (click to show/hide)
Post by: flabort on April 03, 2015, 04:03:44 pm
"Then why wait?""Only that that felt weird and I hope I didn't do anything weird while that was happening. Can it be... oh, what's the word... repeated for more magic?"
"Ayup. That's the idea."
Light up another page.
Post by: Nunzillor on April 03, 2015, 06:40:41 pm
And to Joel he said, "Huh? Well, it was about eoliths. A natural phenomenon that was originally believed to be man-made. But of course, that's not the exciting part. What powers beyond mortal comprehension were you granted? Or perhaps you didn't look closely enough into the flame? Observe."
Storm of Dancing Pugs!
Spoiler: Samson spells (click to show/hide)
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 03, 2015, 09:34:30 pm
Damn it.
...
I must look like some kind of punk.
"Just tell me what you know."
Give him one of my passports. One that looks like something I won't need.
"And try not to use this to commit a crime or something."
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 04, 2015, 03:09:14 am
"That's..." not really helpful and is in no way worth loosing my good looks.
Damn it.
...
I must look like some kind of punk.
"Just tell me what you know."
Give him one of my passports. One that looks like something I won't need.
"And try not to use this to commit a crime or something."
The shade readily accepts one of your Slovenian passports, looking it over carefully.
"I am going to sell it to somebody who is going to copy the design, but I do not think the actual passport ought to be involved in any funny business, so you may relax."
It then inexplicably pockets both the hair and the passport - you're not quite sure where they went, they just sort of disappear in the blink of an eye.
"What I know. There's a lot of things I know, technically, but most of it is taken at face value. I won't bore you with too much speculation. First, the fights. A few fights broke out because of a certain disagreement, that disagreement being identity. It manifested first when two shades tried to get into the same room, and the disagreement between who's supposed to be in there grew... slightly violent. It was two Gers the first time. One of them, I will freely admit, was me, because there was another one who took my name. I won that particular fight, so now I have Ger's room. Ger, or at least I assume it was Ger at the time, wasn't really into it and seemed overly confused, so I had the advantage. There was one other fight, I think, but I was already inside by that point. But that one got considerably more violent, I think. Might have been Ger again, trying to get into another room, or maybe Gamu, judging by the... residue left afterward."
"But yes, that's about all I know about the fights. I think the passport warrants one more of your questions answered on top of that. I can't really tell you all I know, as for one, that's an awfully broad category, and two, I'd hardly have anything to bargain with if I did that."
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 04, 2015, 01:11:33 pm
After he explains.
"And wait a second, you say this is Ger's room? I thought it was Teb's and Ger's was across the hall. Did Gef got left and right mixed up then?"
Post by: Pancaek on April 04, 2015, 04:23:11 pm
"Excuse me, lad, does your name happen to be charlie?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 04, 2015, 04:45:20 pm
"What do you mean residue?"
After he explains.
"And wait a second, you say this is Ger's room? I thought it was Teb's and Ger's was across the hall. Did Gef got left and right mixed up then?"
"Residue is what comes out of a shade if it gets, say, sliced or punched really hard. Things come out of shades when they are sufficiently hurt, you see. I am not sure if surfacers have any similar system. It smells terrible. And it is also hard to remove, though somebody did try out in the hallway."
"And the room across the hall isn't Teb's. It used to be Bonzo's, but now Gef lives in there. Teb, I think, still has his old room, and so does Gamu. And to get more than that out of me, I will need some further compensation."
John sighs and sidles over to the boy in the tree
"Excuse me, lad, does your name happen to be charlie?"
The boy looks at you curiously.
"Naw, man. Billy Ray."
He then casts his eye around the area.
"You a cop?" he then asks.
Post by: Pancaek on April 04, 2015, 04:56:17 pm
John asks the youth, not really expecting anything. There's always the old lady, she might know more.
Post by: wipeout1024 on April 04, 2015, 06:35:51 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 04, 2015, 09:55:50 pm
Ask the law shade to bring me the other shade. If it does (and nobody objects or says anything immportant):
"Okay then. Here's the problem. One of you is lying. But I am going to be reasonable. If you admit your lies, I promise no harm will come to you. If you don't... "
Eta left the sentence unfinished, hoping that the unknown was would make her words sound even more ominous.
"So, once more. Who lived in the room across the hall originally?"
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 05, 2015, 01:22:22 am
"A cop? No, I'm a messenger. anyway, you know a charlie? He's suppsoed to be in this park."
John asks the youth, not really expecting anything. There's always the old lady, she might know more.
The boy looks around the park again.
"Naw. Don't see any Charlie-looking people around-hey, is that a pile of... ew. But naw. Don't see any Charlie-looking people here. Unless there's one in the pile."
He pauses awkwardly.
"Say, man, have you lost anything lately? Like, an ounce of anything? I could return it to ya, if there's a reward."
"Hm. It looks like one of you is lying. Time to find out who. Can you bring the shade we talked to previously here?"
Ask the law shade to bring me the other shade. If it does (and nobody objects or says anything immportant):
"Okay then. Here's the problem. One of you is lying. But I am going to be reasonable. If you admit your lies, I promise no harm will come to you. If you don't... "
Eta left the sentence unfinished, hoping that the unknown was would make her words sound even more ominous.
"So, once more. Who lived in the room across the hall originally?"
The mercenary shade waits as your companion retrieves Gef from his room, bringing him into this room. He seems confused.
"Uh, what's this about?" he asks a little nervously.
"We're investigating a particular issue, Gef. Do try to keep up," says the other shade nonchalantly.
"Okay then. Here's the problem. One of you is lying. But I am going to be reasonable. If you admit your lies, I promise no harm will come to you. If you don't..." you conjure up your best ominously benevolent tone. "So, once more. Who lived in the room across the hall originally?"
Both shades pause for a moment. You think the mercenary one is looking expectantly at Gef. Reading their expressions is difficult without voices to accompany them. A few moments pass, neither quite willing to speak. With a sigh, the resident of the room gives up first.
"Bonzo, naturally," he says. Gef seems startled by this.
"What?" he says. "No way! That's Gamu's room."
The other shade pauses for a moment, tapping its finger against its head.
"No, pretty sure it was Bonzo's. But us saying 'nuh-uh' to one another isn't going to be terribly productive, is it?"
Gef's confusion intensifies, judging by the expression.
Post by: Pancaek on April 05, 2015, 02:42:51 pm
"You know what, now that you mention it, I did lose about an ounce of seriously magical shit a while back. I'd certainly reward anyone who could help me find it."
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 05, 2015, 07:09:24 pm
"Any way you could put the name signs on the rooms back up?"
((I'm assuming the unoccupied sign I saw in that room was electronic.))
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 06, 2015, 04:55:23 am
John sort of freezes for a moment, then breaks into a grin. He waggles his eyebrows and winks at the youth.
"You know what, now that you mention it, I did lose about an ounce of seriously magical shit a while back. I'd certainly reward anyone who could help me find it."
"Forty bucks sound like a fair reward?"
Talk quietly to the law shade, so that others can't hear:
"Any way you could put the name signs on the rooms back up?"
((I'm assuming the unoccupied sign I saw in that room was electronic.))
(Mechanical, actually.)
"I can check," says the law-shade, and heads outside for a moment. About a minute or so passes, then another one.
"Waiting," says the other shade bemusedly.
As if in response, the hatch opens again. In comes the law-shade. On its arm is another purple-eyed shade.
"Signs are beyond immediate repair. Found the next best thing. Want it?" it asks of you.
"I'm not sure this is, strictly speaking, legal... I wouldn't know, I suppose?" the apprehended shade says with no small amount of confusion.
Post by: Pancaek on April 06, 2015, 08:08:52 am
John takes out his wallet and takes out forty dollaridoos,giving them to the kid.
Post by: Toaster on April 06, 2015, 08:43:27 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 06, 2015, 12:28:48 pm
"I think an honest kid like yourself deserves forty bucks, yeah."
John takes out his wallet and takes out forty dollaridoos,giving them to the kid.
Billy Ray climbs down a little lower on the tree, taking the money with all the agility of somebody without issues of age, alcoholism or pronounced concern about their own mortality plaguing them and handing you a small plastic bag with a bit of some greenish-brown substance in it.
"Thanks, man. Glad to do my part for the community," he says, climbing back up.
Larry squints. "So... if I say "strip club" to put it in your head, will this place change?"
"I dunno. Maybe there'll, uh, be one of those inside the dome? But now I'm expecting it, so... maybe not?"
"I've never been to a strip club. What's it like?"
Post by: Toaster on April 06, 2015, 02:22:48 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 07, 2015, 08:13:23 pm
Post by: Pancaek on April 08, 2015, 06:58:08 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 08, 2015, 02:40:18 pm
Larry shrugged. "Hard to say. The only good one in town threw me out when I tried to make change. Cheap skank, wouldn't let me break a five."
"Huh. Well," says Tracey, unsure if she has anything to add to that.
"Uh, let's move on. Anybody want to, uh, go and check out the dome? Or should we just call it a day? I don't think I'm feeling this so much anymore, guys. I think the, uh, concept of this place kinda needs some reworking."
"Where did you find it?"
"Right across the hall. Didn't have to look far."
"Apprehended me in my own room. Very confusing, I must say," says the captured shade.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 08, 2015, 03:04:44 pm
Post by: Toaster on April 08, 2015, 03:38:42 pm
Post by: lawastooshort on April 09, 2015, 03:34:24 am
Then doublecast Potato Vortex until wide enough to step through, and step through it back to Earth. Before stepping through, ask Hungry Pete:
”Disciple Hungry Pete, I am returning to Earth to do Potato Jihad. You may come with me or not; it is not I that will do the judging now, for it is the End Times, and only the Most Holy Potato shall judge. You are a True Potato Disciple now, so I shall tell you openly: I return to establish a Temple to His Holiness. The more powerful He becomes, the more He shall be able to help all of our happiness and protect us from Evil.”
When on Earth, give Larry a ring on my mobile; it might just work. Also look around for a computer or electrical goods store.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 09, 2015, 03:22:25 pm
Some distance away, John, quite unaware of anything at all being amiss, takes the plunge and just wolfs down the entirety of the ounce bag he just got, getting a good feel for the mostly spherical shape, rough, papery texture and completely awful taste of the contents. Billy Ray watches in amazement as the man manages to stuff the entirety of it down his throat without even so much as a drink of water. John does feel like he's going to vomit profusely immediately afterwards, but that's hardly unusual.
"Hardcore, man. Want some cough syrup to wash that down?" he asks, flashing a friendly-colored bottle from his pocket.
* * * * *
Joel, correct beyond his years, comes up with a perfectly rational explanation for all this nonsense (golden dogs notwithstanding) and skims the first page of his book in practically the same smug motion. The first page seems to be titled The First Temptation of Eadar by P.T. Kerning, and has the publishing date and Gnome Press written on it. Skipping over that, he comes to the actual first page of the book, which seems to be something about a guy chatting to his buddies about whatever. Seems legit enough. He takes the page and lights it after bumming a lighter from the other guys. The page catches fire just like before...
[Joel's mind roll: 6-->3-1]
... though the flame looks weirder. For one, it's not a natural orange anymore. Instead, it's a weird, flickering, starry blackness engulfing the page, spreading across it, running over his hand, darting right over his torso and passing straight into his eyes in the blink of an eye, and then all becomes redefined.
Sitting on the plastic throne, Joel Cooper takes a long drag from his cigarette as his eyes wander across the temple of the machine god before him, trembling with processing power unheard of in computing history. It took a while for its circuits to warm up, its multitude of lit panels to begin displaying disturbingly accurate readings of his life signs and general shape and its tapes to get up to a good spin, almost enough to make Cooper wonder if it's for any particular reason they don't turn it on in anticipation of the appointment. They probably do it for effect, he decides. As soon as the blasted thing seems content at a steady pace of blinking, electric noise and rhythmic low jangling, Cooper stands up, gesturing with his cigarette out of habit. This was an important matter, after all. It had to be, or you didn't bring it here. The cycles used were worth the machine's weight in gold, something Cooper's employer made darn sure to remind him of.
His mouth begins to move, his mind about to recall the exact phrasing he had clearly devised and prepared the previous night. Can't waste time. It occurred to him in this split second that that's why they made him sit through the initialization sequence. Make him waste time. Cost his boss a bundle. He didn't have a strong enough bond with the man for this revelation to matter. He began to ask his question, only to be abruptly cut off, the machine already having decided on its best guess on what he was going to ask based on sheer extrapolation and proceeding with a short explanation. It probably had more information than him, Cooper thought as the voice of the machine, severe, quick, metallic, yet unsettlingly humanlike, began to answer.
At first, hearing the machine say its piece, Cooper was surprised. It took a moment for it to click. It wasn't the answer to the question he was going to ask. But it was the answer he was looking for nevertheless. A group of bland-faced techs wandered in and politely escorted him out of the room, saying his time was up. Stunned, Cooper did not resist more than a token amount.
Spoiler: Joel Cooper's New Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
The cascade of more paper-lighting continues, as Tiana takes her lighter back from Joel and lights her own page, reveling in the comfort of the flame.
[Tiana's mind roll: 1-->1+1]
... the crystals whisper secrets into the ears of the masterful practitioner, the crystallokinetic mastermind.
You, for you have found this page, hidden from all but the most powerful of minds. Take the crystal into your hand. Put it to your temple. Push it gently. Does it go in?
I see it does go in. Good. Nudge it deeper... deeper... yes, you are making good progress. Can you hear them yet? They come slowly at first, then retreat like waves.
The first sign is a slight ringing. Keep pushing it in. Gently, softly. The voices are coming now, aren't they? I can sense it in your bones. Resonance.
Let the calm darkness wash over you. Listen to the voices.
Perhaps you will even awaken later.
Spoiler: Tiana's New Spells (click to show/hide)
Roger, intrigued if not quite amused, tries another page. There's a wide world of otherworldly sensation to explore, and it seems like everybody's doing it. So no sense in any trepidation!
[Roger's mind roll: 4]
She was cheap. She smelled like smoke, and her home was a perpetual mess. She had a whole lot of brothers and sisters, each more hideous than the last, and one of whom had introduced Roger to her with a gleam in his eye. She barely knew any French, let alone English, not that she needed to. At times she had an off-putting amount of sweat and dust on her, with a slight hint of blood that made Roger wonder what else it was she did with her life, aside from keep appointments with a few of his friends that he knew of, and probably some that he didn't. She was slight, and clearly wasn't in the habit of eating very well. But she was nimble. A good listener, with an infectious laugh at oddly appropriate times. But most of all, she seemed exceptionally good, beyond anybody he'd ever known, at pretending, even if for only 30 minutes at a time, that she well and truly loved him. Maybe she even did, the thought had even snuck into Roger's mind at times. That's how good she was. Almost enough to make him wonder, to make him forget for an instant. It was a strange feeling, this freedom from past and future, a lightness he only barely could remember, so alien it was. Even now, lying down beneath the stars, it was only starting to come back in fragments. Just there beyond the edge of thought, almost close enough to grasp fully, to consider an existence within the gaping void that constituted his life... perhaps not a happy one, but not insufferable, and almost definitely better than he deserved.
Spoiler: Roger's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Samson, having drunk sufficiently of the well of power, puts his first talent to use.
[Samson's affinity roll: 4+1]
It takes no thought, this movement. Indeed, the lack of thought may be the entire point. Instinct, this seems to be important. His body orients in its most natural way as his mind considers the spell, and all it takes is for Samson to let it happen. A split-second decision, in fact. The rest takes care of itself - from the aether or phlogiston or the great lotus-heart of creation springs forth the first miracle Samson has wrought with his own hands - small dogs, pugs, hurtling at great speed as soon as they appear, as if continuing a trajectory already set, their flight paths curving and circling around the conjurer as the power takes hold, little paws and heads wiggling in perfect synchronicity to an inaudible beat. There is harmony in the spell, choreography, or at least it is a simple matter to project it upon the phenomenon, well-coordinated and fateful as it seems at first. Papers fly in the pugs' wake, and the mistress of magic ducks her head down a little to avoid being hit by any stray canines while her golden dogs, worried at first, snatch a few of the pugs out of the air, presumably to inquire about their business and ascertain the arrangement of their internal organs empirically before the mistress instructs them to lay down as well so that she can appreciate the show. As the others slowly snap out of their magical comas, Samson stands alone, his magic fully awakened, things never possible before springing forth from his own mind and body.
"That's some awesome form you have there," the mistress comments, grinning. "First try, and you get it perfec'ly. Had a rocky start, but I think yer gonna be all right. Now, who wants to hear about their mission? There's power to be had, guys. Much more than you've got now."
* * * * *
Imprisoned with no chance of escape, THE DUNKER refuses to dramatize and instead has a donut to tide him and his ceaseless hunger for both power-donuts and regular donuts over for the next few moments.
[Mind roll: 2+1]
And for the next few moments in question, he is an ape in a tall cage. He is smoking. People seem impressed for some reason, and he gives them his best hard-boiled ape stare. They fail to show the fear required. A challenge! But this, however, will require consideration. He can't just wander out and break them now. Too many witnesses. They'll put him down for sure. No. Have to sneak out for the night. Memorize the look of some of these people, and the smells. Can't smell too well these days. Probably hasn't got too long left in him - the keepers have been trying to make him quit for a while now. But the only way he'll quit is if he quits life at the same time. This seems like a good opportunity to do it. Maybe go look for his dignity somewhere out there.
Tonight's the night, he reassures himself. And he'll make sure it is a good night indeed, or most definitely die trying.
Spoiler: THE DUNKER's New Spell (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
Eta feigns or perhaps just honestly expresses a lack of patience with all this nonsense going on.
"Ah, so you're Bonzo. Just what this room needed," she says, and the captured shade protests immediately.
"You wound me! Me, Bonzo? Perish the thought. It is quite impossible that I am Bonzo. I'm sure I'd remember something like that," it explains, starting out genuinely hurt, but quickly starting to drift off from the sound of it.
"You're Gamu, then!" Gef proclaims, and Eta's not sure if that's an accusation or just surprise.
"Oh no, not him, either. Definitely not him. He beat me up, so I can't be him, I think. That is how it works, I am sure," the captured one responds.
"You wouldn't be Gef Rachin, would you?" asks the mercenary shade.
"Well, I... hey! Wait just a minute! What's all this questioning about?" the captured shade suddenly realizes nervously.
* * * * *
Larry nonspecifically agrees with the wick-headed man.
"Sure, there's no unlimited power here. Let's go find some."
"Can't, uh, give you any more unlimited power, sorry. Wouldn't be fair, would it?" the guy says as they begin to walk toward the dome. The walk seems to happen much, much faster than one would anticipate. "I think I, uh, already mentioned this, but this is just for fun."
"This isn't all that much fun, though, is it?"
"I guess not. But taking a look can't hurt, right?" the guy says, opening up a set of double doors on the side of the dome, the twinkling when examined up close revealed to be that of little diamonds set into its structure. The doors swing open readily at the slightest touch, and inside...
Well, inside there appears to be a tunnel, dark, damp, filled with dried mucus and with a thick bramble of some unidentified black stuff, maybe hair according to Larry's best guess. Cool air occasionally streams into it, alternating with much warmer air streaming out.
"Uh, yeah. Like I said, place needs work. A lotta work," the wick-headed guy admits. "It's much more, uh, embarrassing when there's more people than me here."
"Can we come back when the work's done, then? I really don't wanna go in there, you know! I mean, if I have no other choice, I might consider it and all, but really, it'd have to be a really decisive case of me having no other choice!"
* * * * *
Halesey, overcome by God's brilliance, goes about taking one last look at the binder, so that he may have more potato to appropriately punctuate the jihad to come.
[Halesey's mind roll: 2+1]
But the potato, it feels dim inside him. When one has seen into the feelings of God, what is the concept of a mere potato to them? To the burned-out mind of the potato prophet, there is but the slightest smidgen of knowledge to be squeezed out and absorbed - what can surprise one who has, even for an instant, known all that is potato? Vaguely unsatisfied, Halesey returns to consciousness, a new spell in mind.
Spoiler: Halesey's New Spell (click to show/hide)
This is but a blip on his radar as he offhandedly double-conjures a massive potato vortex, approvingly surveying the result before moving over to Hungry Pete, who appears to be concentrating.
"Disciple Hungry Pete, I am returning to Earth to do Potato Jihad. You may come with me or not; it is not I that will do the judging now, for it is the End Times, and only the Most Holy Potato shall judge. You are a True Potato Disciple now, so I shall tell you openly: I return to establish a Temple to His Holiness. The more powerful He becomes, the more He shall be able to help all of our happiness and protect us from Evil."
Hungry Pete opens his eyes and looks at Halesey, his eyes purposeful.
"To that, I say this."
[Hungry Pete's affinity roll: 5+1+1]
The entire area, vortex, Halesey, God, everything, goes quiet in the span of a moment as something becomes fundamentally unsettled in Hungry Pete's presence.
This lasts for a second, then the space around the man for what feels like miles shudders and begins to swirl powerfully, spreading outward, sweeping Halesey up and throwing him aside as the potatoes in Hungry Pete's vicinity begin to burn and to bubble, their skins peeling off and their insides flowing out. Fragments of congealed corn start to spring from nothing at all, then burst into flame. Potatoes start to fly like speeding, flaming bullets. Veins of divine fire spread out from Hungry Pete, setting the potato-laden space aflame in great streaks. From his mouth issues a low roar as he forms the center of a raging, boiling firestorm, angelic figures blooming from the flames and shooting outward before burning up or clumping together and screaming off into the distance. It feels like an explosion, but much slower... and on a much larger scale, Halesey notes as he flies away at a very good clip, getting a very good look at the strange phenomenon. It looks strange, inexplicable, and yet unfathomably complex... mesmerizing, even. One could forget themselves easily, staring into the great conflagration. Screaming and twisting his body at strange angles, and altering the explosion as he does so, Hungry Pete appears to be trying something, though what exactly that might be, Halesey cannot say.
"Oh my," he hears God say completely clearly as the flames spread ever further. "That seems most unusual, if not entirely unexpected."
Post by: Xantalos on April 09, 2015, 03:29:57 pm
"That works excellently! Now then, where's some suitable places to do this?"
Look around the level for good places for a stripper boulder trap.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: lawastooshort on April 09, 2015, 04:25:38 pm
Double cast River of Invisible Potatoes towards Hungry Pete as thanks, and go through the vortex to Earth. I am of course presuming I can, being immune to Potatoes, if I recall.
Post by: wipeout1024 on April 09, 2015, 05:20:32 pm
Spoiler: Tiana's Spells (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 09, 2015, 05:33:04 pm
Spoiler: Charles Suilla (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 09, 2015, 05:38:06 pm
Double cast River of Invisible Potatoes towards Hungry Pete as thanks, and go through the vortex to Earth. I am of course presuming I can, being immune to Potatoes, if I recall.Only your own unfortunately.
Post by: flabort on April 09, 2015, 06:44:35 pm
Practice time! Cast Blade of Poisonous Salt.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Nunzillor on April 09, 2015, 07:19:08 pm
"Mistress... anything you ask will be done. You have shown me the path to power, and I will do anything necessary to continue down it."
Patiently listen to the commands of the Mistress. Then, burn another page from the book.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 09, 2015, 08:48:08 pm
Eta seriously considered simply administering a beating to everyone involved as punishment for being filthy liars. Well, probably not all of them, but at least some of them. The odds were that the punishment would be just for more than half of them.
Post by: Jamahawk on April 10, 2015, 06:03:55 pm
Joel nods his head to the mistress in agreement as he attempts to cast "thought of indestructible cicadas".
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 11, 2015, 07:11:23 am
Wake up.
You're already up, in fact. Maybe a little dazed. But definitely awake! Once you choose a spell, you're assumed to return to consciousness.
Also, that was a 1. You have to take all the spells given to you on a 1, in contrast with a 6, where you choose any you want from the list given.
Attempt to examine the spell like I'd felt Dave do.
Well... it's a spell. Weaken Toothpick. You presume it weakens a toothpick, though there's no way to tell how much or in what way. Structurally, you would guess.
"Well, if you are not Bonzo, then what the here were you doing in his room?"
Eta seriously considered simply administering a beating to everyone involved as punishment for being filthy liars. Well, probably not all of them, but at least some of them. The odds were that the punishment would be just for more than half of them.
"My room was taken! An awful ruffian had taken up residence there, and I was leery of raising any sort of issue after the already copious amounts of abuse that had been leveled upon me previously," the captured one explains.
Post by: wipeout1024 on April 11, 2015, 07:36:53 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on April 11, 2015, 09:35:32 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 11, 2015, 10:55:56 am
"Nah, I think I'll be fine. I suppose it's too late to ask what I actually crammed down my throat?" John says, trying his best not to vomit.
"Uh, some weed, I think. I'm not sure if you'll be fine," Billy Ray tells you with all due honesty.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 11, 2015, 11:02:24 am
It could be argued that the pins holding the dentures together are similar to toothpicks. Weaken them.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 11, 2015, 11:53:53 am
(Is it because of my inferior mind stat?)
It could be argued that the pins holding the dentures together are similar to toothpicks. Weaken them.
Yes. Also because I forgot what exactly that did the previous time.
And you suppose it could be argued this way, yes. The spell, however, doesn't seem entirely convinced, although you're pretty sure it just did something.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 11, 2015, 01:04:16 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 11, 2015, 01:06:11 pm
I discovered the mechanics of the denture vortex spell. I was attempting to use it as they were originally intended but apparently the game had gone in a different direction. I did learn something of the inherent mechanics of spellcasting though.
Oh, that. Yeah, you didn't roll well enough here.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 11, 2015, 03:01:05 pm
Post by: Pancaek on April 11, 2015, 03:45:31 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 11, 2015, 03:55:25 pm
"What do you mean you're not sure if I'll be fine?"
"I ain't ever seen anyone eat a whole ounce of weed. You could turn into an elephant now for all I know."
Post by: Pancaek on April 11, 2015, 04:09:53 pm
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 12, 2015, 10:27:58 am
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 12, 2015, 10:54:22 am
"this is regular weed, right? Like, pot?"
"I think. It should be. Unless it got packed wrong or something. It ain't exactly thousand-dollars-an-ounce weed, point is."
"If that's not your room, then which one is it?"
"I dunno. Bonzo's? I think it was Bonzo's. Don't quote me on that one, though," the captured shade shrugs.
"It's totally Gamu's room, man. Just 'cause she told you it was Bonzo's doesn't mean it is," Gef chips in.
"Well, that's true. But I did get a weirdly Bonzo-esque feel from it, now that I think about it. Something in the decor," the captured shade speaks thoughtfully.
Post by: Parisbre56 on April 12, 2015, 10:58:23 am
"And what does he means when he talks about the decor? I thought all rooms were the same here." Eta asks the law-shade.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 12, 2015, 01:09:32 pm
"No, I meant which room is your original room."
"Oh! Last one to the right, then," the captured shade says helpfully.
"But that's my room!" Gef says with quite a lot of frustration.
"No, mine!" the captured shade replies petulantly.
"But... it's mine!" Gef shoots right back. The exchange continues in roughly the same vein for the next thirty seconds, which you utilize to ask the law-shade something.
"And what does he means when he talks about the decor? I thought all rooms were the same here." Eta asks the law-shade.
"They are," says the law-shade. "Or at least they are to you and me. These wretches must spend quite a lot of time dwelling on, say, a tiny scratch on the wall of their room, or a slight defect in the sarcophagus, or a slightly off color palette on their screen. Anything to distract from their less superficial, yet much more superfluous wants."
"I do resemble that remark, to be honest," the mercenary shade notes, glancing over at the bickering other two shades. "Hadn't thought about it that way."
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 16, 2015, 01:50:06 pm
[Affinity roll: 4+1]
From his mind, a sphere of compacted strippers springs, taking up a precarious place next to the container, quite out of sight to any onlookers, but ready to roll out and crush any who are sufficiently unwary. Yep, this part of the level is probably sufficiently fortified against intrusion now. It's a pretty big part, too! There's really only two entrances left aside from this one, and one staircase leading up, plus a disused elevator shaft. Not that THE DUNKER is able to get out of this room for a recount, of course.
* * * * *
Halesey is excited by this new, strange power that Hungry Pete appears to be exhibiting.
"Sweet," shouts he, "I have been looking for such destruction for many a... hour. Now let us turn the Holy Power upon the unbelievers!"
[Halesey's affinity roll: 2+1+1]
[Halesey's affinity roll: 5+1+1]
From both his hands stream invisible rivers of pure potato, the left-hand river a mighty mountain flow while the right-hand one appears to be more of a creek, or perhaps a well-circulated ditch - no matter, both stream forward from his hands toward Hungry Pete and, upon reaching the man, catch fire like little streams of gasoline, trailing all the way back to where Halesey was a moment ago, blazing bright yellow and giving off a little explosive flash as the flame reaches the end, the area around the rivers slowly getting consumed by flame as well.
For some reason, though, he gets the sense that getting much closer to the firestorm happening in Hungry Pete's vicinity might not be the very best idea. He's already tumbling away rather quickly from it and he still feels rather hot. And the fire appears to be spreading greatly, feeding itself off the vortex's rapid influx of air from the material world. Hungry Pete, sweating and seemingly burning a little, turns to look at the potato prophet. He mouths some words, but Halesey can't tell what they are from this rather large distance.
"He is hesitantly appreciative of your contribution," says God genially.
[Hungry Pete's affinity roll: 4+1]
The river of flame draws back, rolling itself up like a massive whip as it moves toward the storm, Hungry Pete closing his eyes as it shapes itself according to his whim. He raises the two rivers, now joined into one, shaping it, wielding it like a weapon - a colossal flaming sword of incredible size, leaving a blazing trail of burning potatoes as it cleaves the tuber streams of Potato Hell in passing. Hungry Pete now appears to be holding the thing above his head, poised to strike with a blade that's a hundred times the size of him.
"Gaze at the blade, my prophet. Do you see what it represents?" God wonders idly.
* * * * *
As the airborne pugs dance around the reading area of the library, most try to do their best to ignore the spectacle. Roger, for one.
"Days... gone? What?... Uh, dreams aside, I think I can definitely use this. Sure, tell us about this power we're gonna find. Mission, whatever. Power to fight power, I guess," he says after narrowly dodging a particularly sprightly little pug flying right at his face.
[Roger's affinity roll: 1-->2]
[Roger's body roll: 2+1]
This lapse of concentration as he attempts to cast his spell proves most significant, as he finds himself gripping a blade the very next moment - a blade that, as it happens, has no grip. It cracks in his hand and slices along the skin, burning like the dickens, which in turn signifies, along with the slight bleeding, that this particular blade appears to have drawn blood. Looking at the slight wound, Roger notices that the blood leaking out of it seems to look a little... blackish?
"Mistress... anything you ask will be done. You have shown me the path to power, and I will do anything necessary to continue down it," Samson agrees, enthusiastically leaning forward to listen to the words of the girl with enviable attentiveness. The mistress rolls on her back in response, looking at the ceiling.
"Okay, so... downtown there's this place called Esposito's. Hotel, full o' thugs and their whores, ya know - nobody important. I want you guys to... level the fucking place. Like... bam. Leave nothing standing. Do that - yeah, do that, then come back here... then I'll tell you where to find yer power. Understood?" she explains to nobody in particular, smirking faintly.
Tiana, only barely listening, chooses this moment to try something fun.
[Tiana's affinity roll: 3+1]
Right next to her on the rather dirty floor suddenly appears a surprisingly even filthier bunch of whitish pills. Looking at them closer, Tiana quickly identifies the thing on one of them as a blackish, rubbery muck she finds rather familiar, in that she remembers it from her first grade class. She's even less curious about what it might be now than ever before.
"Yeah, so..." the mistress continues, probably running out of worthwhile things to say. "Anyway, do what I told you to, then come back, right?"
Understanding the message perfectly, Samson nods and immediately gets to work.
[Samson's mind roll: 2-1]
There is, however, something that prevents him from making much progress. It's strange, an errant, intrusive impulse, a little vibration in the brain that he can't quite place, but that no doubt feels bothersome. Maybe he needs more privacy.
[Joel's affinity roll: 3]
Or perhaps he needs to spend less time around people like Joel, who doesn't quite manage to see what conjuring up the thought of indestructible cicadas does aside from making people around him look a little thoughtful for a moment, and make the dogs a little nervous for some reason.
* * * * *
Charles stops messing around with magic and just gives old-fashioned digging another try - it still doesn't quite work. But it does feel like it might begin to work, or has begun to work already - or is that the spell he cast? Progress might be happening, in short, though he still feels quite trapped. Fortunately, he's pretty sure he's moving up now due to the way he feels his oppressive load of dentures become lighter.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 16, 2015, 01:54:48 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 16, 2015, 02:02:54 pm
MOAR DIG!
It's working, it's working, it's... it's not working at all, you think. You could be here for years at this rate.
Post by: lawastooshort on April 16, 2015, 02:14:26 pm
"Well... I hope it represents the two followers of potato joining together as one to spread your mighty word upon the planet Earth, but I am not yet entirely convinced. I believe I must gaze some more."
Gaze.
"Regardless, should this or any other sign herald my doom, I don't mind any longer, if my doom is in your service, O God. I feel like empathising with your very potatoness was possibly the most spiritual event to ever occur to any human that's existed, and now I feel both empty and whole. It's quite wondrous, actually."
Gaze.
"Disciple Pete, I think it is soon time that we be going back to Earth to spread the word, no? Will you come? You have a lot to show those you left behind... Farewell, God. I hope we meet again."
If/when no further conversation is forthcoming, have a quick last look at my folder in the Holy Presence and then open a vortex (double cast one inside another) and go to Earth.
Post by: Xantalos on April 16, 2015, 02:27:14 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 16, 2015, 02:38:32 pm
((I forget, am I trapped in the room by the unnecessary amounts of royalty I summoned or something else?))
By a wall of enchanted traffic lights if I recall correctly.
Technically, I suppose you can still try to go outside, if you can lift the old loading bay doors.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 16, 2015, 02:40:07 pm
Post by: Xantalos on April 16, 2015, 02:43:09 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 16, 2015, 02:54:20 pm
((Hmm. Could I make them move or would I need Manipulate Traffic Lights?))
You can't make them move without the appropriate spell, no. You get leeway with the stripper boulder since it's actually made up of sentient beings.
Post by: Xantalos on April 16, 2015, 03:08:54 pm
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 16, 2015, 03:19:59 pm
((Could I climb over it if I got a boost up from someone?))
Not really, if you mean the wall in front of the doors leading in, it's a little too close up for you to conceivably squeeze through the gap.
Post by: Xantalos on April 16, 2015, 03:28:15 pm
Eat yet another donut, focusing on the element Enchanted Traffic Lights. Or Traffic Lights if Enchanted isn't available.
Post by: Jamahawk on April 16, 2015, 07:34:32 pm
"Woman," Joel says to the mistress, "I can believe that the power you possess would be enough to make any mortal become... different. However, this does not allow you to eschew all sense of morality and common sense. You tell us of this hotel and expect us to destroy it and everything in it without even giving one reason, other than they are "nobody important." If there is no other reason which you have, you can consider me out!"
Joel barely manages to prevent himself from wringing his fedora in his hands out of frustration. His eyes flicker from this woman who has clearly let power get to her head and her golden dogs, wondering if he had let his emotions take him too far.
Post by: flabort on April 16, 2015, 09:02:23 pm
Post by: Jamahawk on April 16, 2015, 09:33:02 pm
Quote
"You heard her say 'thugs and wh-who-whores', right?" Roger slaps Joel in the back with his bleeding hand. "Gonna have to try using that spell again, maybe later, but I don't think my hand's the best place for that. Look at this stuff, it's black. Come on, we'll be making the world a little safer."
Joel tries to ignore the blood on his formerly pristine uniform, at least black blood might blend better, as he replies to Roger.
How do we know they are who she says, and if we go along with this crazy scheme, we should at least let those poor folks have a chance to walk away. They could all just be a victim of circumstance like everyone else in this god-forsaken place. Also, why destroy the building?
The last question was aimed at the mistress. Joel dons his fedora with a sense of finality.
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 17, 2015, 06:52:59 am
Quote"You heard her say 'thugs and wh-who-whores', right?" Roger slaps Joel in the back with his bleeding hand. "Gonna have to try using that spell again, maybe later, but I don't think my hand's the best place for that. Look at this stuff, it's black. Come on, we'll be making the world a little safer."
Joel tries to ignore the blood on his formerly pristine uniform, at least black blood might blend better, as he replies to Roger.
How do we know they are who she says, and if we go along with this crazy scheme, we should at least let those poor folks have a chance to walk away. They could all just be a victim of circumstance like everyone else in this god-forsaken place. Also, why destroy the building?
The last question was aimed at the mistress. Joel dons his fedora with a sense of finality.
"They went and personally pissed me off a couple days ago, that's why," says the mistress, laughing off your concern. "And destroying the building is the test, see. If ya can level a building, that's how I know yer ready to get more power. I could just tell ya to go and kill everyone inside, but somethin' tells me you ain't gonna like that option either."
"Point is, there ain't gonna be any negotiation on this. You do it or you don't, not like I'll be real broken up about it one way or another. I could do it myself... send the dogs to do it if I feel like it. Or not bother at all - it's just a test fer you guys, see?"
Post by: Nunzillor on April 17, 2015, 09:03:23 pm
Perhaps the issue is presentation? Tear a page out of the book and fold it into a lotus flower. Then, set it alight and gaze into the flame.
Post by: Jamahawk on April 18, 2015, 02:24:46 am
"Sure, we can be your hit-squad. However, with demolition being in the near future, I will need to do some research of the magical kind."
Smirk with the unlikely-ness of it all, and light the second page.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on April 18, 2015, 06:42:54 am
Post by: flabort on April 18, 2015, 03:44:33 pm
Light up another page like the others are doing, then get ready to go to the hotel.
Post by: Nunzillor on April 23, 2015, 11:52:21 pm
((gentle bump))
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 30, 2015, 02:21:30 pm
"Well... I hope it represents the two followers of potato joining together as one to spread your mighty word upon the planet Earth, but I am not yet entirely convinced. I believe I must gaze some more," he says, watching the blade start to stir again. An elegant movement. It appears to grow in mass as more flaming potatoes join it. "Regardless, should this or any other sign herald my doom, I don't mind any longer, if my doom is in your service, O God. I feel like empathising with your very potatoness was possibly the most spiritual event to ever occur to any human that's existed, and now I feel both empty and whole. It's quite wondrous, actually."
"Entirely possible, my prophet. I do seem to exist in a manner unlike that of any mortal or immortal creature I have spoken with. This is why the sword is important, you see," God explains. Hungry Pete minutely shifts, and the ever-expanding blade starts to come down slowly and ponderously. "It seems I am about to find something out myself. Most exciting, wouldn't you say?"
Halesey gazes as the sword picks up speed and mass. It seems to be growing exponentially every second. Hungry Pete starts to scream.
"Disciple Pete, I think it is soon time that we be going back to Earth to spread the word, no? Will you come? You have a lot to show those you left behind... Farewell, God. I hope we meet again," Halesey says, and opens up the binder when God elects to merely chuckle a little in response.
[Halesey's mind roll: 5+1]
Enlightenment comes with the sound and feeling of a breaking pane of glasslike sugar, bathing Halesey in tiny, harmless fragments of special effects magic, in a moment that simultaneously feels markedly unlike life, though not in any way bad - it feels better, in fact. A feeling of motion overtakes him, fills him with urgency as magic takes root in his brain. He feels a distinct urge to burst into arcane flame, and it takes him the utmost self-control to not let it take him over. For him, there can be no flame. There is only the noble potato, and its infinite understanding - an understanding that even now seems to inform his forays into the mystical.
Spoiler: Halesey's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
Coming out of the surprisingly quick vision, Halesey spots that things appear to have changed a little bit, though it takes him a moment to place how exactly. First of all, he would suppose the fact that the entire place is filled with ungodly, soul-shaking shrieks that no human could possibly make.
[Halesey's body roll: 1-->2]
And that no human ears could possibly take - Halesey, for his part, appears to already be bleeding copiously out of his eyes, ears, nose and mouth. It feels uncomfortable. And something feels missing, he thinks for a moment before it becomes clear what that particular thing might be. It's God - kind of difficult to see through the flames. Two Gods, actually, one of them presumably the real one, or both halves of a single whole, now orbiting one another, twisting and projecting white-hot potato tendrils all about as it writhes and twists. The realm of potatoes, meanwhile, appears to be catching quite a lot of fire, mostly on account of God's incessant flailing.
Hungry Pete, for his part, appears to be flying away from God at a very rapid rate. He's not quite moving. His sword seems to be missing, which is a little strange.
* * * * *
Toothpicks aren't going to help Charles, weakened or not. This is a situation that requires magic, he figures. It's begging for magic. Asking for trouble, definitely! Well, joke's on this pile, for Charles is more than willing to deliver.
[Charles' mind roll: 2]
Though perhaps it's less a function of will than it is of not feeling so dang uncomfortable under all this garbage. He really is feeling pretty dang uncomfortable here, it occurs to him. Damn sky-portals, getting him into predicaments like this. It's almost like the Denture God wants to be a dick to him or something.
Of course, Charles' continuous squirming and attempts at wizardry might be entirely fruitless, but it does seem like they are attracting attention - not that he'd know this presently. For one, there's currently a rather ancient woman standing next to the pile, scratching her slightly fuzzy chin as she considers whether stealing a denture or two would be bad form. Next to her stands John, looking at the pile and wondering if the weed's kicked in yet as he kicks at the pile, causing a minor denture avalanche.
"Kick harder," the woman advises him in a tinny, robotic voice, pressing a voice synthesizer to her throat.
* * * * *
THE DUNKER, still trapped and starting to border on being miffed, has a donut to enter a state of greater reflection on the problem, or at least some nifty spells that he can demolish all obstacles in his way with.
[Mind roll: 5+2]
The cold does wonders for one's continuing youth, it briefly occurs to him as he stirs underneath the mountain of ice that the very gods themselves dropped on him at the end of creation. The ice shifts a little, and cracks with a deep bellow. The lithosphere beneath him sways a tad, reminding him remarkably of a water bed. Though ostensibly intended as a punishment, he's grown to enjoy it, really. Used to be that he had so much to do, so many places to go, so many things on his mind! The cold and the crushing weight of the ice have done wonders to assuage his general concerns, like a glacier-based perpetual massage. Thinking about it that way, it almost seems like an act of charity, this little bit of entrapment he's experiencing. He's certainly never felt better in his existence, so detached and relaxed! And the runoff from the ice is really quite nourishing, too. Made him lose a bit of weight at first before he'd found the right streams, but now it's quite alright, really. He almost feels too content, to be perfectly honest, which is perhaps the only flaw of his current predicament.
Maybe a little walk will do him good? He could perhaps give the gods his thanks, maybe grab a continent to chew for a bit on his way back, then get right back under the covers. Just a quick nip there and back again, nothing quite apocalyptic, right? Surely nobody will mind.
Spoiler: THE DUNKER's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)
* * * * *
The band of wizards, all as one (well, except for Tiana, who's transfixed by the filthy drugs on the ground for some reason) try to obtain more magic, since none of them are quite equipped for demolition just yet. First and most enthusiastic, in a marked contrast to his initial reservations, is Samson, looking for a page on lotuses, but finding that this Hodgman's Compendium appears to only hold entries for "E", which seems awfully restrictive. Best to just continue burning, probably, which brings him to...
[Samson's mind roll: 1-->6-1]
... Eix. Eix is a commune located in France, containing roughly 223 people and several houses. Its greatest claim to fame, aside from its catchy name, is that it exists. Its second greatest claim to fame is that Verdun is within walking distance. Little to no photographic evidence exists of Eix, which leads some blokes to surmise that it may very well not exist at all, although why exactly would the French government invent an entirely unremarkable settlement is unclear to say the least.
Spoiler: Samson's New Spell (click to show/hide)
Next to burn a page after pausing to make a remark on his reserved acceptance of the quest is Joel, who smirks as he stares at the flame.
[Joel's mind roll: 3-1]
Unfortunately, the smirk doesn't appear to be received well by whatever sentient principle guides this magic, for the page burns perfectly normally, and he has to drop it after a moment when it starts to hurt his fingers.
Last to try magic is Roger, seemingly in good spirits despite the fact that he's bleeding black and probably more than a little poisoned by his own salt.
[Roger's mind roll: 3]
His friend laughs after finishing the anecdote, and the maid laughs with him, though probably more out of reflex than out of amusement. That said, the introductions seem to be going about as well as could be hoped for - though the maid and his friend have a rather clear age gap, her being about 10 years older, they seem quite comfortable with one another, and no doubt likely to get along rather well in the near future. A grand resolution indeed, and one that is definitely its own reward. His good friend and comrade is now far less tempted to get into trouble, for one. Second of all, the maid is unlikely to keep pestering him once she and the man each manage to come to a mutual understanding. Of course, if he hasn't jinxed it already.
Though, then again, it's not like he's about to stop visiting the maid entirely, though if any more introductions are going to be made, he may well need to hold off on returning entirely, even if that'd leave him with essentially no sure things to follow up when his other very fine friend happens to be busy on any given night.
Spoiler: Roger's New Spell (click to show/hide)
Post by: flabort on April 30, 2015, 02:36:40 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 30, 2015, 03:04:14 pm
"Ploink!"
(Thx bruh.)
Post by: Harry Baldman on April 30, 2015, 03:05:38 pm
((Your choice if you want to understand me.))
"Ploink!"
(Thx bruh.)
You're not free yet, by the by. Still buried in there.
Post by: The Froggy Ninja on April 30, 2015, 03:55:53 pm
I'm just gonna violently wiggle around in thought.
Post by: lawastooshort on May 01, 2015, 01:30:16 pm
"Pete, you feckin' Nigel, what the hell..."
Get out of there with immediate potato vortex - double cast them until I can pass back to earth.
Post by: Xantalos on May 01, 2015, 02:47:55 pm
Banish the wall preventing me from getting to the rest of the floor, then eat yet another donut. Focus on my destructive urges, if that helps at all.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: wipeout1024 on May 02, 2015, 04:36:59 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Pancaek on May 02, 2015, 12:49:28 pm
Kick the pile of dentures harder
Post by: Nunzillor on May 02, 2015, 08:45:10 pm
Walk to Esposito's. Scope the place out.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: flabort on May 02, 2015, 11:50:31 pm